A Sleipnir Tale - The Food Critic
A Sleipnir Tale - The Food Critic
“So what makes you think you’ve got what it takes?”
Two extremely large ponies occupied the rather dimly lit office, the interviewer, Five Star had the application in front of his face that he had brought up on his pads interface screen. He had gotten a whole host of candidates apply for the role and this one didn’t particularly stand out much. However one part of the application had been interesting and piqued his curiosity. In all the years he had been interviewing ponies for jobs he had never seen one be so bold as to list their promiscuity on the form before, everything else was pretty standard but this stuck out and he had wanted to meet the stallion before writing him off. Eventually Five Star got out of his thoughts and back to reality, the interviewee was giving him a reply.
“Well as you can see, I’ve got plenty of room to grow. I love food, it’s always been something very important to me. Important to us all in fact, I can see you’re no stranger to a hay burger.” Chit Chat who was the one gunning for the job, thought a light joke might make Five Star smile. He got a slight curl of the lip at least, the smile was somewhat there.
“Well, loving food is one thing, but can you appreciate food? That is what it takes to be a food critic you know. You may not think about that with us being a fast food chain but I assure you it is important. Blubber King is a well established brand across not only Equestria but a huge host of the colony worlds. We need ponies who can criticize, analyse and give feedback to our chefs what is good about a meal and what is bad. We’re launching new products all the time, it’s why we employ our own in-house critics.” Five Star said rather smugly, it was rare companies actually employed their own critics but Blubber King had won public trust by ensuring every meal had been quality tested to their highest standards. They made sure their critics got this done.
“Food is my life, my body may not show it but I can assure you sir. I love food. I appreciate it in every form, from the crispness of a golden fry to the doughy texture of a donut. It’s why whenever I eat out I generally end up at one of your chains, the quality is always just above anything else I can get my hooves on. In fact the only reason I’m so thin is well…” The voice of Chit Chat trailed off. Five Star was suddenly interested.
“Go on.”
“Well I have a certain other interest and it was listed on the application actually. It’s really what keeps me from gaining a whole lot of weight.” He said, there was no hint of embarrassment from him, Five Star could appreciate a stallion who was forward.
“I know, it’s the only reason actually I asked you to come in. I’m sorry but your application was pretty standard compared to a lot of the other candidates. That got me interested however. You’re not exactly thin either, you use a pad.” Five Star replied. “You do realise if you get this job you’re going to pack on the pounds extremely fast? There will be a lot of eating involved. More than you might realise.”
“I applied for this job to eat, well, and to give reviews of course. I’m prepared to eat my fair share and more if needed.” The stallion replied with confidence. Five Star wasn’t sure why. There was something about him he liked, it was a shame he wasn’t being totally honest with him, but that wasn’t his concern. He had one more question.
“We expect you’ll get fatter. The company will supply you with a higher grade pad and such if you grow to such a size. I assume you are happy travelling off-world? We have some speciality dishes that are manufactured on various colonies. It is much better if you visit them to taste them at the locations they are made. The company again will supply the transport and accomodation of course.” Five Star said dryly.
“No problem, I’m prepared to travel.” The short reply was good enough. Five Star was too fat to actually lean over the table and shake Chit Chat by the hoof but he thought it was best to end the interview here. The two of them filled the room practically and any sort of contact between the two would likely have initiated a large amount of blubber jiggling.
“Well, I can’t say the job is yours. We have other candidates to interview but I think you have a good chance. We’ll give you a call at least to let you know.” Five Star said. “Thank you for coming in, there’s a small buffet usually set up on the way out, help yourself to what you like.” He pressed a button on his pad and ushered the pony out. He guessed currently he must have weighed around 7000 pounds, for an Equestrian that was rather light. But it made him the perfect candidate. They could stuff him until he burst.
With Chit Chat gone, Five Star got on his pad phone. Dialing a number and letting it connect. Once the call connected he saw a familiar looking blubbery face on the other end. It filled the screen completely, in fact they were in the middle of eating. As per usual.
“What -chomp- is it Five Star? I’m very busy -chew- enjoying my 59th helping here.” They answered.
“I’ve found the whale we need.”
The chewing on the other end of the line stopped. “What? BWAAARRPPPP. Already? That was fast. Who is the unlucky fellow?”
“Somepony called Chit Chat, he had let’s say a very interesting application. It was why I asked him in, turns out he actually fits the bill of what we need besides that interesting detail.” Five Star said, it was rare he got his colleague to stop eating. He must have been impressed with him for once, although the mid-sentence burp was pretty typical of him.
“Well you hired him right?”
“I didn’t want to seem too eager, he might have twigged something was up. I told him we had more candidates to get through but I’ll let him know he’s got the job later this afternoon.”
“Oh good, good. That’s a good plan. Smart thinking, I like that.” The chewing re-commenced on the other end of the line. Five Star assumed course 60 must have arrived.
“I’ll leave you to your meal. I assume you want him to start as soon as possible?”
“Of course as soon as possible! We’ve had the plan in place for weeks, just no one to fill the position! This is perfect, even if we’re being a little dishonest.”
“Or a lot. I did say to him we will need to him eat a large amount. It didn’t seem to phase him.”
“Good, Food Critic, Company Mascot, what’s the difference huh?”
“Well there’s a lot of difference, I suppose he’ll get to eat a lot though. He seemed interested in that.” Five Star said with a sigh. He didn’t like what he was doing, the dishonesty was getting to him a bit.
“Look he may even embrace it, heck he may not even know we’re not paying him to be a critic! See how it goes, I hope he’s as good as you say he is.”
“He will be, now I really will leave you to your meal. Speak soon.” As he shut off the call he swore he saw another three plates pile up behind his massively obese colleague. He had been gunning for the six figure mark for months now, he didn’t seem to be far off it.
Five Star took a moment to breath, he needed something to eat. Time to hit the buffet.
-
He didn’t have to start right away, but the company seemed very eager when Five Star had rung Chit Chat to congratulate him on gaining the position. Apparently he had an edge that just won out. Monday had rolled around and he had turned up bright and early. Five Star was waiting for him.
“Glad to have you on board, now usually I don’t do this but I have a personal interest in this. There’s a little more to this job than you might think so, I’ll be overseeing you for a short while to get you settled in.” The stallion said with more than just a hint of confidence.
“I’m prepared for anything. Any food you can throw into my maw I’m ready to taste.” Chit Chat said, licking his lips in anticipation.
“Perfect. First thing’s first, we’re going to a little public display. We tend to introduce all our critics to our customers by having them do a public taste test. Up for that?”
He didn’t have to think, of course he was. “Sure, lead the way.” Chit Chat replied, the two lardy ponies piloting their pads to the nearest Blubber King from the main office. Branches of the brand were numerous on Equestria, so it didn’t take either of them long to get there. It seemed Chit Chat was expected, outside there was a rather lavish display already set up of with incredibly long table, streamers, even a lectern. He spied a few TV camera drones too. The table was split in the middle to leave a large space and area for the lectern to sit. In fact it almost seemed like the company had set up some sort of parade for him rather than an introduction. Perhaps they just went out of their way to make new starts feel welcome.
The one thing it didn’t explain was the barriers with a large number of massively obese ponies watching from the other side. Were they here to watch him eat? It seemed odd, usually ponies enjoyed eating, not watching others stuff their faces. Saying that Five Star had mentioned this was public.
“You’ll have to get off your pad, there’s a spot over there for you.” Five Star pointed one of his flabby hooves towards a rather large space near the lectern, in fact it was quite a bit bigger than Chit What was. With some effort he managed to tip himself off his pad and take the spot he was told about, this did leave him slightly vulnerable though, now unable to move under his own power.
Five Star took up a position in front of the lectern. “Mares and gentlecolts of the audience! I’m sure you’re aware we have something new for you. You’ve been reading about it for months!”
There was a cheer from the crowd, Chit Chat wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Did they introduce all their new critics this way? He only went for the interview last week, how would they have been reading about it for months? This was all very strange.
“Blubber King’s brand new mascot, Chit Chat the bottomless pit! Let the feeding begin!”
Mascot!? No, this wasn’t right at all. There must have been some mix up, but there can’t have been. Five Star had interviewed him. Unless…
He had been duped? No way, a company like Blubber King would never deceive its workers. Chit Chat would have thought on it more, but suddenly he was faced with two portly ponies who had waddled their way in front of him, one mare and one stallion. He looked left, then he looked right. The tables that had been empty when he arrived were now piled high with a vast range of Blubber King’s menu offering which had been laid out by the staff while he was distracted with the small speech Five Star had given. There were mares and stallions all lined up, sexy rotund ones of varying sizes all carrying plates of food as they queued up to give the poor Chit Chat exactly what he was going to get, the stuffing of an absolute lifetime.
Without the pad he couldn’t escape, already so fat that mobility to get away was now a total impossibility for him. All he could do was eat and hope this was over soon.
The maw opened, food went in. Burgers, fries, shakes. The almost endless line of the fat server mares and stallions feeding him just brought him whatever was on the tables. When they had pushed it into his mouth, they simply waddled their way back, picked up another plate and rejoined the queue.
The duped food critic turned mascot ate his way through portion after portion as his already massive body grew even more. Even though he wasn’t getting to critique the food, he was certainly enjoying it. Everything from Blubber King was delicious and he had the advantage of all this food being fresher than normal that had been prepared just for him. The fries were extra crispy, the burgers juicy and moist. He no longer cared that he had been duped into this role, it was free food and he was going to take advantage of it completely. He could feel his flab ripple in delight as he just ate mouthful after mouthful of everything coming his way. To be fed as well by a parade of portly mares and stallions was delightful, perhaps he could convince one of them to join him after this was all over for a little extra feeding.
“Now then my faithful employees, bring out the shirt and underwear!”
Chit Chat stopped his eating for a moment, Five Star still at the lectern was getting the crowd going. He wondered what he meant. Perhaps freebies for the attendees?
Suddenly however he felt his rump squishing from behind, a rather tight fitting pair of underwear was being pulled up his rear. His vision went dark also, two of the ponies were pulling a shirt over his head. When his head popped out the head-hole, he felt them stretch it tightly over his body, his gut squishing in response to the new tight fitting garment that was pulled over him. He tried wiggling the cheeks on his flank, there was a definite rubbing of materials now as he felt the underwear ride up against his tush. He looked down, the shirt read:
I went to Blubber King and I broke this shirt and 10 thousand pounds.
He knew instantly what was going to happen as the feeding re-commenced.
The gorging that he was doing to bloat was like nothing a lot of the audience had ever seen, Equestrians were big eaters, there was no doubt about that, some in the crowd were even bigger than Chit Chat was. But the way he was eating was impressive. He was packing away burger after burger, fry after fry and some shakes too inbetween. He felt so full, the satisfying feeling of his stuffed stomach below him was lovely as it gurgled happily and contently with all the food filling it up.
The more food Chit Chat was eating, the more the material tightened against him. Five Star wasn’t going to let this end until his flab burst out of the shirt and the underwear. The procession of mares and stallions kept up their feeding session, just smiling at him with every plate of food they tipped into his mouth. He tried moving his flabby hooves and felt the arms of the shirt struggle against it, with a quick motion he heard a slight shrip as the material started to give way.
“Woah, check it out folks! He’s only been wearing it five minutes and already he’s busting out! Our food fattens you up faster than any other fast food joint, guaranteed!” Five Star said, using it as an opportunity to promote the brand.
The pounds continued to pile on. Another announcement from Five Star. “Can you believe just half an hour ago when we started this stallion was only seven thousand pounds! He’s already gained two thousand easily! Just a little more and that shirt will come right off!” He practically yelled up at the audience. Chit Chat figured he may as well embrace it, he wasn’t going to wait to break the 10k mark for the underwear to give way. He could already feel it hugging his blubbery overblown rear tightly.
First a gentle wiggle just to see how it was hanging on, very little movement followed. He decided to step it up, rocking his asscheeks from side to side and shifting the weight in his rump around to really test the material. It didn’t take a whole lot of effort on his part.
SHHRRIIIPPPPP!!!
The underwear came clean off his rump, freeing all that flab in an instant. He felt like a restriction had been lifted as with a whomp his asscheeks wobbled back to their usual position of freedom. Two hefty orbs that had increased in size like the rest of his body. The crowd cheered as he broke free, Five Star yelling over the mic “Annnnddd he’s out of them! Give it up for Chit Chat! Just the shirt to go!”
He was already utterly immobile, but before his belly had been nicely snug between his legs, the size he had gained had caused him to spread out, there was no other way to describe it. His legs pushed out to make room for that growing tum, which in turn pushed him upwards even further as his hind legs were now starting to sink into mounds of flab from his rear expanding too. With his front ones he gave his large, squishy belly a satisfied hug but he couldn’t reach enough anymore to make his hooves meet. Spread wide by his overblown bloated body that continued to rise as he expanded outwards and upwards.
He couldn’t wobble or rock his way out of this one, the stallion just had to keep eating. Which was exactly what he did, the food pile was going down and he could feel the weight increasing. Nine and a half thousand pounds, nine thousand seven hundred pounds, nine thousand eight hundred pounds…
He was at nine thousand nine hundreds pounds, or thereabouts when he realised he was joining the rank of the five figure gainers. The benefits of being one on Equestria was great, more respect from peers and if he broke six figures someday, well he’d be the envy of ponies all over the planet. For now, five figures was enough.
They had clearly made a shirt to fit a pony of particular size, as Chit Chat took a satisfied chew of yet another burger, he heard it.
RRRIIIIPPPPPP!!!
The shirt could stand no more, it had ten thousand pounds of fat fighting against it. The thin material was just no match for the immense size of Chit Chat as he burst forth from the shirt, his mammoth body proving it could take on anything they put on him. The crowd gave a gigantic cheer this time for the display with Five Star taking full advantage of the shirt being utterly destroyed.
“And there it is folks, ten thousand pounds of blubber on Chit Chat, the bottomless pit! Don’t worry folks, he’ll be back, and even bigger! This is just the start!”
Just the start? Oh boy. He didn’t know what to make of that. But Five Star was coming towards him, he decided to speak up first.
“So this you food critic role, huh? URRRRPPPP!” He couldn’t help but let one rip, the sudden gain of three thousand pounds to his body wasn’t an easy thing to digest and process in such a short amount of time.
“Yeah um, about that. I may have confused the terms food critic and mascot but, it’s a great gig. We’ll ply you with all the food you can eat. All you gotta do is burst out some clothing, smile for the audience, I mean that thing where you jiggled your butt was great. Mares and some stallions go crazy for that sort of action. So - you in or out?”
He pretended to think about, just for a moment. “I’m in, all the way to six figures of flab, you’ve got me Five Star, you got me good. Just do one thing for me, since you tricked me into this and all.” He said, feeling a new pad that could support his bigger size slide underneath him to pick him up.
“Go on, I’ll do what I can.”
“Ask one of those cute servers if they’d be interested in giving me a bit of extra feeding tonight at my place. Don’t force any but, I’d like to show my appreciation for their hard work if you get my drift. Either sex is fine.” He said with a wink.
“Heh, I thought that part of your application may come into play. Be home around seven, someone will be there.”
And with that, the new mascot of Blubber King headed him. Yeah, he had been swindled a little, but he didn’t mind. All the food he could eat, he could flaunt his fat body for fun in front of the TV, crowds cheering him on to gain plenty of weight. It actually seemed like it was too good to be true. No hard work involved to review new dishes, not that he would have minded but this was even better. Just stuffing himself, in fact not even doing that. Being stuffed by cute mares, stallions and being the envy of those wanting to gain. He had no doubt in his mind that by some happy accident, even if deception was involved he had gotten the job of his dreams. But he wasn’t going to let Blubber King know that, he’d keep them thinking he was a little upset he had been tricked, he could probably get a few extra little perks out of it.
He looked at the time on his pad, it was only just approaching midday. Plenty of time to get home and prepare to give one of those cuties a fun time with some flab this evening.
