It was totally her parents fault, she thinks wryly, calling her Ace.
The thought wasn't new, nor was it her parents fault for the way she was. They had given her the name Ace because that's what she was, an ace at sports, mechanics and drawing.
She knew she was pretty, ponies were forever giving her compliments on her looks. "Colts will be falling over themselves to get to her" one of them says, winking at Sweetie Belle, her mother, who giggles.
Ace squirms slightly. She was a practical filly, and knew she would eventually fall for a colt, or even a filly, but right now neither seemed particularly attractive.
When she expresses this to her other mother, Scootaloo, the mare ruffles her mane affectionately. "Don't worry about it squirt." She says fondly. "You still have plenty of growing to do."
She starts growing.
So do her sisters, Tempo Breeze goes from a scrawny little thing to a lanky Pegasus who has no control of her longer limbs, much to Magical Melody and Ace's amusement. Mel stayed small, and fragile looking, at ends with the scars that came from the animals she loved so much. She was the prettiest, everypony knew that.
Ace, despite being a Pegasus, had no Pegasi Magic, instead she had very powerful Earth Pony Magic. She did not grow long and lanky like Tempo, instead she grew tall and sleek, helping out at Aunt Apple Blooms farm helping building muscle.
They're teenagers now, and both of her sisters are starting to show romantic interest. Tempo was constantly with Rainbow and Pinkie's daughter Slipstream, and Bluejay, the cynical amputee Thestral that Mel found endearing. Mel herself shows an interest in several colts in their class, just like all teenage fillies.
Well, all teenage fillies except for Ace.
Because while she's okay with the thought of being with somepony, the thought of making out, hell, even kissing them, makes her feel bad.
She doesn't know what's happening, and there's this growing sense of panic, because she doesn't feel anything, and her insides feel weird whenever somepony mentions sex.
She discovers the term Asexual six months before, where she had torn apart Aunt Twilight's library in a desperate attempt to find out if she has some kind of sickness, and if she could find the cure.
The sense of panic had grown too much when she heard a group of girls talking about their 'first time' and she wants to find out what was wrong with her.
She finds Asexuality instead.
The relief that swept through her being-
She wasn't broken, there wasn't anything wrong with her. There were others like her.
~~But she couldn't fly, and it took her years to be okay with her Magic. She knew better than anypony that knowing and accepting are two very different things.~~
She doesn't tell her family.
If they found out how uncomfortable anything to do with kissing or making out or-
Ace shudders, feeling her insides twist.
They would understand, she knows they would, but they might not know what Asexual is, and Ace did not want to put into words what she was.
Plus there was the subconscious fear of them not kissing their girlfriends or boyfriend in front of her, and while she would appreciate that, she did not need your pity, thank you very much.
The word was sex repulsed, she discovers.
Ace never thought she would love a word, but she does. Because it makes her valid, makes her normal, makes her happy.
~~Makes her sad, because this was something she couldn't change, could never change, something she had to live with.~~
Ace knew Copper Wire all her life.
Being the son of Featherweight and Apple Bloom, the two were bound to run into each other on the farm. They had struck up a friendship over their inability to fly; Ace because of her lack of Pegasi Magic, and Copper because of his weight.
And, she liked him, like a lot.
Copper is the only one who is able to keep up with her on a technological level, and the two spend days just discussing new inventions or contraptions.
She knows she should tell him at least. Her tells her every little secret he has. He had trusted her, and it made sense for her to repay the favor.
But what if he laughs? Or is repulsed? It seems that Ponykind as a whole is obsessed with the things Ace hates.
He finds out anyways, of course he does.
It was dusk and Ace's daily farm chores were done, but she wasn't going home just yet.
Instead, she and Copper were laying down on the tree branches of a particularly big apple tree. Copper was sitting a couple of branches above her, watching the sky through the dappled leaves.
There is no reason for her to blurt out "I don't want to have sex." But she does, and she regrets it almost instantly.
Copper sputters, almost falling off his branch before righting himself. "I don't . . I . . . . did I miss somethin' here?" He asks, incredulous as Ace's cheeks heat up.
"No!" She scrambles to stand up on her branch as he looks down, baffled. "I was just . . never mind."
Copper squints down at her, before reluctantly turns away.
She should of have just stayed quiet until it was safe to leave, but the next thing she knows, her mouth is opening once more. "Have you ever heard of Asexuality?" She chokes on the last word, but successfully grabs Coppers attention.
Ace doesn't look at his face though, nor does she allow him to speak, instead pressing on, rushing her words. "It's just . .I . . I don't get why everypony seems so obsessed with sex, ya know?" No, he doesn't. "For the longest time I had no idea what was going on, I didn't get it- I still don't get it" Ace winced as she heard her voice crack and shoved herself up, agitated.
"I don't know why I don't want to have sex, or kiss somepony. I'm still not really sure. I-I think there's something wrong with me, and I've looked, but there's no cure or anything, and, and then I found out about Asexuality" she takes a deep, gasping breath, like a toddler on the verge of a breakdown. Apt.
"And it turns out it's actually a sexual orientation, and there are hundreds of ponies- creatures- like me, I'm not alone or anything, it's normal. So-so-so" and now she was sobbing, Gods, this was embarrassing. "-so why do I feel worse than before?"
She takes a moment to wipe the tears that were starting to stream down her face, and risks a glance at Copper, but all she could gather was that he is listening intently. But she can't turn back, so she plunges ahead.
"And I-I want to go out on dates, you know? I want to meet somepony I love, and I want to have a family- but I don't want to do it if sex is involved, which means I can't date anyone, because that's all ponies seem to care about, they don't want a relationship without sex. Which means I can't be enough for anyone, and I'm never going to belong- and oh Gods, what will my family say-"
Ace's voice has been steadily rising throughout her tirade, and now it broke as she let out another sob. She didn't even try to dry her tears anymore, because none of it mattered, nopony was going to love her as she was and-
Copper reaches down a hoof tentatively from where he crouches above her, and, slowly, she took it. With surprising strength, he pulls her up to the branch he was sitting on and hugs her.
He hugs her.
Ace glances down to see his creamy wings fluff out and surround her.
"They're not going to hate you, Ace" he says, voice softer than she had ever heard it. "Because they love you, and whoever you choose to be with is going to love you to. And it's not going to matter whether or not you want to have sex with somepony, because they'll still love you."
He hesitates a minute before saying "I ..I don't know if I understand everything you need, but...well, I can learn, right? Maybe we can learn together" he suggests, and she just stopped crying, why?!
Author's Note
God, I wanted to do this!
I missed Pride, I was on holidays, so I'm doing this instead.
I am Asexual and Aromantic, and have wanted to make a character that was one of those two. But, I didn't want to make a new character, for fear of tokenism, so I picked one up from my roster, kept her personality and just made her Asexual. I am also Aromantic, so anyone who's just Asexual might see some dissonance between romance and sex, I don't like either so it was hard to write.
Ace's name was originally going to be either Echo or Sweet Flight, but I changed it, because irony.
Ace is a determined, friendly, adventurous filly who is an amazing leader and is a very protective big sis. She is hot tempered, and it insecure about her magic and inability to fly. But she is just like any other filly.
I've been in this fandom for a long time, and I've noticed that it's either Fluttershy, Maud or Twilight that is associated with Asexuality, and that has always bothered me.
Throughout fandoms, if there's ever an Asexual character, that person will either be an introvert, completely deadpan or just cold, and that's not true. Yes, I am an introvert, but I know a lot of Asexuals and Aromantics who like to go out and wear makeup, and, it's just frustrating, because it's like someone claiming that all flirts are bisexual.
I haven't come out to my family yet. I've tried, but they've just laughed, or misunderstand what I'm saying (they only know Asexuality through scientific reproduction) and it's upsetting.
However, I told my sister, the only one in my family knowledgable of the LGBTQ+ community, and she seemed suportive, so there's that. Fun fact, the conversation between Ace and Copper is almost exactly how I came out to her, except without the date parts.
I always knew something was wrong, I was never interested in boys or girls, but because nobody sat down and explained what Asexuality was to me, I never knew what was happening. When I tried to explain myself, adults would just say that "I would understand one day."
I even went so far as to look up any kind of sickness that could do this, like Ace. Actually, I'm basically projecting in this story.
Then, when I was thirteen years old, I made a new friend, my current best friend, who found out, and instead of laughing, told me about Asexuality.
I guess the moral here is that if someone says they don't like a certain gender, it doesn't matter how old they are, don't laugh them off, because that will confuse them
Oh, and if you are confused, then look it up. There is almost certainly an explanation or name for what you are, and it's strangely liberating to know it.
So, I know I'm late, but happy Pride! 