February 3rd, 1005 A.N: 6:00 P.M.
Okay, so I'm kinda new to this whole 'journal-writing' thing. I didn't really pick it up until I became King of Equestria. So... hopefully you don't mind if I'm not that formal.
You know what? I'm not entirely sure anypony will even see this. Other than me, obviously. It's a weird feeling to be writing to and about yourself at the same time.
Anyway, the name's one I already know. King Dusk NightFall, ruler of Equestria. I feel so damn important.
How did I get myself into this predicament anyway? I think I died at some point. Yeah... Now that feels weird to say.
I'm not kidding, either. I did die recently. From a crazed murderer that looked like fucking - excuse me, bucking (I'm a king now, after all. Gotta be polite.) - Pinkie Pie.
Yep. Think this murderer said her name was Pinkamena? Weird shi- stuff - indeed.
Oh, forget it. This is my journal, noone's gonna see it, so I can be however fucking rude I want. Whatever.
Ok, so y'all want to know what the hell happened? Well too bad, 'cause I don't even know what happened myself. I died, remember? I bloody died.
The only pony who'd know something is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. And I'm pretty sure she hates every last goddamn cell in my body. After all, I lived but her mentor Princess Celestia sure as hell didn't.
Oh yeah, forgot to add that Pinkamena killed me and both Princesses. And guess what? Twilight was supposed to be the one to control the power of the sun and moon, but some funky shit came about and I got put in charge. Yippee-yeah-yay for me.
Shit... And I liked Twilight, too. Guess somepony said 'Fuck you, Dusk! You ain't gonna get the one pony you actually cared for! She's gonna hate you for life'!
And now I have to deal with the shitstorm the Princesses left behind when they died. Wonderful.
Speaking of which, I need to go raise the moon now, since it's that time again.
Hopefully Twilight won't pretend to be concerned and ask me if I need anything again. I hate it when she does that. She should just curse me for living already and get it over with.
I'll keep writing later. I'm sure y'all will love to hear what happened.
And by y'all, I mean me.
See ya.
Dusk
12:00 P.M.
Goddamn, that took a lot out of me.
Yeah, I kinda just made the sun rise as well as the moon sink. And for a little while, both celestial bodies were bouncing around the sky like Pinkie Pie when she's had way too much sugar. And yes, I've seen that before.
Don't judge me too harshly. I'm a fucking Pegasus, not a unicorn or alicorn, ok? I don't respond to magic well.
And there I go again, writing down my thoughts like someponys' gonna see them. Actually, I don't even know why I'm doing this journal thing. I guess if Twilight sees this, she might be impressed...
But no. There's no bloody way she's gonna be impressed, or even forgive me for the shit I've put her through.
Damnit, I really thought I had gotten her to like me, too. Ugh, nopony's gonna see this, but I'll write it anyway, since this is the only thing that's been going through my mind other than 'Everything Hurts'.
Hell, I'll even make a fancy-shmancy line here to show the start of my story. If I'm gonna write down my thoughts, I might as well make it look nice.
I've liked Twilight since I met her. That was about 6 years ago, if I remember correctly. Back then, I actually believed in 'love at first sight', being the stupid fucking colt I was. And when I saw that goddamn beautiful mare, I knew instantaneously that I wanted her to be my marefriend.
I decided to play it cool for a little while, though. Things like that don't happen quick, not with loners like Twilight. And goddamn, she was shy back then. All wrapped up in her books and her studies, y'know.
Me, I had just moved to Canterlot. I didn't know the place very well, considering that I had lived in Cloudsdale for my entire life up to then. It was by pure chance I bumped into Twilight.
I looked up, about to apologize to her, until she turned around, looking kinda pissed, since I had accidentally made her drop her books and papers. At that point, I couldn't even speak. That mare was and still is the most beautiful pony I've ever seen.
Luckily, I managed to save the awkwardness of that moment by saying something, basically the first thing that popped into my head. I said to Twilight "Damn, someone better get Celestia, 'cause I'm pretty sure the sun just fell out of the sky".
Twilight actually blushed then, and I lay claim to the fact nopony has ever made her blush other than me. I told her I'd help out with the dropped books and she stammered out a thank you. From that day on, well... we went on dates occasionally. Not enough to be obvious to either of us, but we did.
And now look at the shit I've messed up. In case it wasn't obvious, I'm pretty damn pissed at myself.
Shit... she's knocking at my door. I better finish this up quickly. Don't want to keep her waiting.
No, there ain't any funky shit happening. It's lunchtime, and she basically lives in the castle now. It's the fact that nopony can eat without me present. Weird coronation rules.
I'll write more later. For now, I gotta go.
See ya.
Dusk
2:00 P.M.
Well, that was fun.
Imagine sitting at a table with every living being watching to see if you'll crack under the pressure. Now multiply that by a couple million times. Once you do that, you have exactly what it felt like for me to eat lunch with Twilight Sparkle and the nobles of Canterlot.
I mean, it's great that she's good at making others feel uncomfortable, depending on how you look at it. It's a nice skill to have, but I wish it didn't fucking exist! I hate being put under the pressure, and it makes me feel like even more of an asshole than I already am.
Regardless, lunch was great, in its' own way. The chefs, at least, don't hate me for Celestia dying. They're still trying to show loyalty, even though some have expressed doubts about my abilities to rule behind my back. Don't ask how I know that, I just know.
Twilight looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't. Trying to spare my feelings, pitiful as the attempt was, she made small talk. At that point, I wanted to scream 'Just fucking spit it out already! Tell me how you feel! I don't care how goddamn hurtful it is, just tell me!'
Obviously, she didn't, and I left the table feeling worse than I already was.
It's annoying, that feeling, 'cause before this, I was feeling on top of the world! I had everything, friends, family, prosperity, happiness, a marefriend… And now it's all gone to shit, and what's left? Power, Fame, and Fortune.
See, I'm not like most ponies. I don'twant that shit. That's what drives ponies insane. And that's what drives ponies to end it all. I'm not kidding, either, I've seen it happen to... well, to my own sister.
My sister was definitely my biggest supporter. Throughout the good times and the bad, she was still there for me. When she jumped off a cliff, it hurt like crazy. And I know, I'm supposed to be the hardass, the tough guy, but I'm still only a pony. So yeah, it hurt.
When she died, I almost lost my will to live. Running into Twilight was the only thing that saved me from killing myself. And when I met her, she became my biggest supporter.
And now that I've successfully gotten her to hate me, I don't have anyone to care for me anymore.
Don't worry your little head, future me who's probably reading this. I'll keep living, even though life sucks. I'm the only one who has the power to raise the sun and moon, and until I find a spell to give the power to Twilight where it belongs, it's gonna stay like that.
Even though it's going to be hard as fuck to keep that mindset.
Dusk
