Chapters Let it all out - alternate version
The night was calm, quiet and the warm air that was kind of preventing many ponies to enjoy the sleep they were hoping for was perfect for those who were using the dark of the night to plan and scheme at the light of a candle.
Of course, Twilight was planning a scheming an excursion for the students of her school, but still, she wanted to cultivate the ominous look.
She had been working a lot lately. There was just so much to do, so many project to advance. She had received a request from the deers to open another friendship school into their territory under her guidance, an opportunity she wanted to exploit to its fullest potential. She also had two conferences to prepare, three events to organize and she wanted to completely reorganize the equestrian armed forces after a long and complicated analysis directly on the site.
Then she could start working on her other projects.
“Twilight…” a voice called to her.
She ignored it for just a second, because she was focused on the wording of the third sentence of the second paragraph of her announcement of the deer request to princess Celestia, something she didn’t want to mess up.
Also, Spike had to learn patience anyway.
“Twilight!” Spike insisted.
So much for patience… Twilight stopped writing and turned toward him. She had to admit, there was something a bit impressive about the reflection of the moonlight on his dragon scales. Even if they were only baby dragon scales.
“There is a letter for you.” Spike explained, handing over a nicely wrapped letter.
Twilight took it, thanked Spike, read who had sent it and put it on a pile with almost a hundred other letters altogether.
“Come on…” Spike said. “Aren’t you going to at least reply?” he asked.
“Of course I will reply.” Twilight answered. “I just have some other more important things to do right now… and I already sent them a card last week.”
Spike sighed.
“It was almost three months ago Twilight…” he reminded her. “Look, you don’t even have to read the letter, I’ll do it for you.”
He grabbed the letter on top of the pile and opened it, ignoring Twilight’s recrimination, then started to read:
“Our dear Twilight, we hope that our letter will find you well. You always had a bad habit of not eating healthy enough, so you better watch that. No sugar after the sun has set, you know the rule. We know that you are very preoccupied, given all of your duties as a princess. We probably haven’t told you how proud we are of you on that subject. We hope we will be able to see you soon.”
Spike stopped for a time to look at Twilight, who evaded his glare, so he just continued:
“We will be at 38th street for a while if you come for a visit. It’s probably nothing, but your father wanted to be certain, as always. Do not worry and make sure to brush your teeth diligently. No book reading excuses! Your parents who love you very very much, Twilight Velvet and Night Light.”
Twilight got hit by a shimmer for a second, but immediately regained her composure.
“You see Spike? Everything is fine. Now, there is have some important work I have to handle, so if you will excuse me…”
But Spike would have none of it:
“Wait… 38th street… isn’t that the hospital? Are mom and dad in the hospital? Shouldn’t we go visit right away?”
“No, yes, I mean no, not right away.” Twilight replied. “I mean, of course we are going to visit them. But didn’t you hear what they wrote? Things are fine, it’s probably just a routine check. Old ponies are like that, they need to go to the hospital more frequently, it’s normal. They have already gone there like dozen of times.”
“Maybe it’s worse this time!” Spike said. “What if it’s worse? We have to go right now!”
Twilight sighed, accompanying it with a gentle smile. She stepped down her chair and hugged Spike.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.” She told him.
He looked up to her and smiled back.
“Tell you what.” She added. “I will be finished with most of the paperwork by tomorrow night. We can go visit them after tomorrow or, at worst, the day after tomorrow. Would that make you feel better?”
Spike snorted, looked away and replied:
“You know, I just care for you you know. They are your parents after all, not mine. I’m not worried at all.”
Twilight just hugged him more tightly in response.
“… but yeah, that does make me feel better, thanks.” He added.
Let it all out - alternate version
“Twilight, dear ?”
“Hey, Twilight?”
“Darn, ah guess she ain’t here anymore…”
Rarity ignored that last comment and just opened the door wide open.
“Shining Armor said she would be here. The poor mare is probably in her room, utterly wrecked by the terrible news…” She said.
“Yeah, well, let’s go to her room then. The sooner we find her, the sooner we can cheer her up.” Rainbow Dash replied.
Applejack agreed. They all started trotting toward the stairs, when Twilight appeared in front of them, as in literally appeared from a teleportation spell, and just walked past them to exit her home.
“Hello Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash. Nice day, isn’t it?” She said, passing at their side. “Sorry, I have to go do some shopping, can’t stay, bye.”
She hadn’t even reached the door that she teleported again.
The three ponies looked at each other’s in disbelief.
“Did this just happen or was that the product of my imagination?” Rarity asked.
“Nope. That was Twilight alright.” Applejack confirmed.
“Did you see her mouth!?” Pinkie Pie’s voice exploded from behind Rainbow Dash’ mane. “That wasn’t a smile. I know smiles and that was… I don’t even know what that was!”
The others would have tried to find out along with her, had Pinkie not disappeared right away, leaving nothing but confettis behind her and all over Rainbow Dash.
Pretty far away, in the middle of Ponyville, Twilight reappeared from her teleporting spell. Her hooves trembled, her head was spinning a tad bit, but she regained control. She knew where she was, he knew where she was going, she knew what she had to do.
She entered sugarcube corner and looked for some eclairs, mocca flavored eclairs. Her father’s favorite.
And she just stared.
Her plan was fail proof. Get the sweets as gift, then go, be there, give the gift, get over it. Simple. Efficient. Perfect.
Only now was she realizing the stupidity of her plan. And not just of the plan. She wasn’t looking at the eclairs anymore. She was looking at Twilight in the glass. A deformed and vague reflection of herself. Just an optical illusion, a simple light reflection trick. That Twilight in the glass wasn’t there. Yet that Twilight in the glass was so much closer to the eclairs than she had ever been.
She was envying the Twilight in the glass. The reflection felt more concrete than herself. She forced her mouth into a painful position and while it required her so much effort, she could see the reflection naturally smile.
A perfect reflection. A perfect illusion.
"If you don't need anything then LEAVE!"
Twilight turned her head and saw miss Cake.
“Sorry…” miss Cake quickly told her. “I lost my temper, I am very sorry, please excuse me. You’ve been staring here for hours now and I was supposed to close for more than fifty minutes and I’m late and I shouldn’t have yelled at you, please, please excuse me.”
Twilight opened her mouth, but her brain gave no order to form words. She blinked, as if it was supposed to be a mode of communication, but her blinking clearly didn’t get to miss Cake. So she just hugged the mare and hid her own head behind hers.
“Now now…” Miss Cake said, taken by surprise. “There is no harm. You can stare as much as you want.”
Miss Cake felt something, and Twilight let go of her embrace, to leave almost immediately after. Miss Cake reached for the back of he neck and just said:
“Oh dear.”
Let it all out - alternate version
Twilight reached for the scissors. She grabbed them firmly, watched the blades shine and then violently threw the scissors against their newfound adversary. They pierced through like against a piece of paper.
Mostly because they were piercing paper.
Twilight extracted the letter from the envelope and read it.
“Our dear Twilight, We would be lying if we didn’t tell you how much we miss you. Yet we understand that…”
She stopped and threw the letter away, on the floor, along the other letters that she had opened.
Yes, they had missed her. She missed them too.
Literally.
“Twilight?” Spike voice asked from across the room.
She didn’t respond and just read another letter, only to throw it with the others.
Spike approached in silence, watched Twilight take grasp of another letter and just sat against her desk.
“Is it true?” He asked.
She didn’t respond.
“Say, maybe it’s a false news. I’ve been thinking about it, and it doesn’t really make sense when you really think about it.”
She didn’t respond.
“I mean, you did promise it was going to be fine…” He added.
She stopped opening letters.
“Just tell me Twilight. Is it true?” He asked again.
She didn’t move. She didn’t look at him. She didn’t even faked a smile. She just handed him a piece of paper, with very official markings on it.
“I received it today.” She told him.
He took the piece of paper, but only looked at her.
“We were going there. We were on our way. I had to finish some urgent matters, you know I had to.” She said.
“Are you alright?” Spike asked.
“Are you?” She asked back.
He looked in front of him. There were all the letters on the floor, a few bookshelves against the walls and heavy curtains covering the window. All around the curtains, a bright light that looked grey. Behind the curtains, Ponyville and hundreds of happy ponies celebrating life and its everlasting miracles. Yet Spike wasn’t absolutely certain there actually were ponies beyond the light.
“I’m not sure.” Spike replied.
“I’m not sure either.” Twilight told him too.
She wanted the sun to stop shining so bright. She wanted the sun to run through the sky, eastward, as fast as her imagination could allow it to, again and again, until things were different than they truly were.
“I can’t blame you.” Spike said. “I’ve always supported you. I will continue to.”
He heard Twilight’s response, even if she hadn’t said a word, and nodded:
“I’m sure they are proud of you. I’m sure they are proud of us.”
Still the same response from Twilight, still no words.
“Say, Twilight… I’m hungry, but I don’t feel like eating.”
“I know.” She said.
Spike started scratching the parquet with his right claw. It was somehow calming him.
“How do you think it would have been?” He asked. “You know… if we had made it.”
Twilight had a response to that question. She had thought about that very subject long and hard, analyzed every possible scenario. She had played them again and again like a general would a wargame until every single possibility, no matter how unlikely to happen, has been taken into account. She knew exactly what to say, she knew exactly how it would have been.
She just didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to face it all over again, her parent’s gaze as they passed judgment over her. She did want to apologize again, and again, and even again as many times as she would have the capacity to, even if she knew very well it was in vain.
She could see their eyes looking down on her. Those eyes she knew so well. Those eyes that looked just liked her own.
And then light broke through.
“You were there.” A voice said.
Pinkie Pie closed the door behind her, but the colors she had brought in remained at her side. She hopped toward the alicorn and the dragon.
“Parents always hold their children in their heart. No matter the distance, nothing truly separate a child from her father or her mother. Those are magical bond nothing can truly cut.”
“Words…” Twilight replied.
“And sweets!” Pinkie added, laying out a few Millefeuille in front of her friends. “Don’t worry. They have many layers, but despite the depth, they do taste great in the end!”
Spike and Twilight just looked at the pastries in an awkward silence.
“I’m sorry.” Pinkie said. “I know I can’t help you. I get that sweets taste bitter and that words sound empty. I can’t even say I truly understand.”
Still, she pushed the pastries closer to Twilight and Spike.
“I heard of a pony once.” Pinkie said. “I was so very young, I didn’t know much yet. I had friends from all over already though, and they brought tales from their own friends. They were tales from Cloudsdale, Vanhoover and even Canterlot. And in Canterlot I learned of a filly accompanied by a weird baby dragon. And that mare, despite being the favorite of a princess had extended her hoof once, to help another filly who needed help for a test. She didn’t have to do that. She hadn’t anything to gain for it. But she did it anyway. I don’t care if you’re a princess: when I realized I had met that filly that had helped another pony once, I knew I had met someone special who I wanted to be my friend.”
Pinkie approached Twilight and put her hoof on the tip of her nose.
“That filly was you Twilight.”
She turned to Spike added:
“The weird baby dragon was you Spike”.
Then she continued:
“And yes, you have helped thousands of ponies since then, but would you have helped only that one filly so many years before, I would respect you for that just as much. You gave our world one more smile than it had before, and as far as I know, that is reason enough to be proud of you.”
“Your story doesn’t really make sense Pinkie…” Twilight replied.
“I’m sorry…” Pinkie replied. “I don’t know of many ways to say that I love you.”
She reached out to hug Twilight, but the latter halted her in her course.
“It hurts. It hurts so much.” She explained.
Pinkie reached out again and this time, Twilight let her hug her. Spike soon joined.
“I was so stupid!” Twilight shouted. “I’m such a terrible daughter.”
And Twilight spoke, and spoke without end. Between the tears and the snorting, she said everything she wanted to say and then some more. Every time she thought she was finished, she had another river to let out. Every time her eyes seemed to have dried out, a new source would suddenly appear. She didn’t even control anymore. She had no idea what she was saying, she didn’t care anymore.
Then she opened her eyes again and everything was made of silence. She let her grasp of Pinkie Pie go. She had made a wreck of her mane, that is, more than the usual curly wreck it already was.
“Sorry…” Twilight said.
“It’s okay.” Pinkie replied. “I’m glad you let it out. I hope you feel a bit better.”
Twilight didn’t reply.
“I’m supposed to go now. But I could stay if you want me to.” Pinikie added.
Twilight didn’t reply.
Pinkie waited and, as she didn’t get anything nearing a response, she started to slowly back away. A claw fetched her mane and she saw Spike at her side, hiding his face but firmly attached. They both made their way to the door, in defeat.
And then:
“Pinkie… maybe… maybe you could prepare us some green tea?” Twilight asked from her side of the room.
“Alrighty!” Pinkie happily shouted. “It will be the best tea ever!”
She closed the door behind her and faced the four other ponies who had been waiting at the other side all this time.
“So?” They all asked.
Pinkie looked back and, with a smile, said:
“I hope… no, I know it’s going to be okay.”
And she turned to Spike and added with an even bigger smile:
“I promise!”
THE END
Author's Note
I'm tired, I'm drunk and I have to work to pay the bills... I just read a story and I felt like writing again, like I used to...
And yeah, I know, it would have necessitated a lot more work. Shining Armor was supposed to come back and describe what happened, maybe through the distorted interpretation of Twilight.
Let it all out - alternate version
“Spike! Spike! It’s time to go!” Twilight shouted.
Of course. He was the one who wanted to go, but when the time had come, he was nowhere to be seen. Not that she didn’t have any idea on his location. Rarity’s boutique was top of the list in moments such as this one.
She heard a knocking on the door and, without even thinking, went to it, opened it and scolded Spike for being late.
But it wasn’t Spike she was scolding.
That was a pony.
A stallion.
Who shouldn’t have been here as far as she could judge.
“Hello Twilight.” Her brother said.
A shiver traversed her whole body, forcing her to sit down. She couldn’t help but feel that the light had suddenly dimed in quite a spectacular way. She tried to reply, but words, or even sounds, just died in her throat.
“Can I enter?” Shining Armor asked.
She nodded.
He went a few steps in, then turned to his sister.
“So… How are you doing?” He asked.
“Fine. And you?” She replied.
But no response came.
“I should explain, shouldn’t I” Shining Armor said after a while.
She nodded. Not that she truly wanted to know what was going on, but it was her duty. She was a princess. She had dedicated her life to always doing her duty. She wasn’t going to fail now.
“I come back from home.” He explained.
“Home?” Twilight asked.
“Not the crystal kingdom.”
She had already understood that. And her brain was doing the rest of the work. There weren’t many other possibilities. And the conclusions were pretty easy to draw.
“Do you want some tea?” Twilight asked. “Some green tea maybe?”
He just told her. Right there, right at that moment.
She had already understood. Deep down, she felt like she had already known.
Her vision blurred. She just couldn’t prevent it.
“It was very peaceful…” Shining explained.
“Stop.” Twilight asked. “I don’t want to hear it.”
Shining Armor did stop. He hesitated. He tried to hug his sister, but she evaded his move and went in the center of the hall, calling for Spike to prepare green tea.
“Twilight.” He called for her. “I don’t blame you. I’m here for you.”
He hadn’t finished speaking that Twilight had turned toward him. He took only one glance at her and understood it was time for him to leave. It was the best course of action, at least for the time being. So he left, but not before telling her once again that she could rely on him and that he loved her.
The door closed.
She stayed in the middle of the hall, feet and feet away from the nearest wall. So far away from the ceiling. So far under the floor…