1. That's the amount of New Foals who remember. That's it. We're held up in Final Fortress, which is...The last human-made settlement. Good thing we still have those books on how to make guns, or we'd be fucked. It's a modest settlement, at a square kilometer, and surrounded by 10 foot walls with towers every 100 meters, give or take. We have ETS (Eather Targeting System) Anti-air machine guns on the towers, in case of unauthorized pagasi attempting to get in. We have Static Shotguns, AAR (Arcane Atomizer Round) Pistols, and Gauss rifles. Everyone is in the militia, even the children, who serve as scouts or spotters. The houses are built low and wide with support pillars to resist against bombs. There's a building a story taller than the other buildings. That's the king and queens' office. Both of them are getting ready in their 'dress' clothes. Static armor. Or, literal lightning armor, which requires the wearer to also have a magnetic suit underneath so you don't fucking die. The leaders: Queen Luna and King Vasckine, are going to meet with Celestia about a peace treaty. Or, as she calls it, 'Surrender'. Fuck that. But this isn't about them, this is about a lieutenant of the militia, who is assigned to escort 'Hortler'. Horse Hitler. Celestia. "Fuck my life." The lieutenant: Jacksunny complained to nobody in particular.

"Why? Well, despite the fact that were being visited by Hortler." His friend, White Fury (He forgot his human name and went with his Newfoal one.)

"Why? Guess who I have to escort."

"...Welp. Nice knowin' ya," A piece of paper forms out of nothing and lands on his muzzle. "What the fuck?" He takes it off his muzzle and reads it. (He's a white earth pony, with a white mane, and his ass-tattoo (Cutie Mark, but fuck calling it that.) is a hoof surrounded in lightning.) It reads:

White Fury,

Git ye shit n' git ye arse ov'r t' the buildn'. Ye arse's a guard.

P.S. Fuck you, y' wankah.

"Huh. At least we'll die together." He said.

"A-Fuckin'-Men. Meet'cha there." And with that, Jacksunny, a tan unicorn with brown hair, and an ass-tattoo that's a Static Shotgun and crosshairs. Representing his shotgun marksmanship. He goes to the gate and Celestia gives him a look that reads 'You're fucking dead'. He looks her in the eyes, smiles, and cocks the shotgun, basically telling her, 'Good luck'. She just scoffs and walks in, you in tow. She thinks your there to keep her safe, but your actually there to 'reprimand' her if she hurts a resident in anyway other than self-defense. When you're about halfway there, she stares at a mother teaching her child about what happened.

"-and her," The mare points at Celestia. "Is who caused all of that pain and suffering. But she won't hurt you. Yet. Be better than her. Be friends with other species. Be a goo-" The mare never finished, being blasted by a magic beam, and flying into the wall, dead. In response, he smashed Celestia in the head with the stock of his gun. She tries to buck him, but he dodges and kicks her in the side, shooting her once. The dozen lightning bolts arc from the barrel of the Shotgun, nicknamed the S.S. Boombitch, hitting Celestia, causing her to convulse. He, after cocking the gun, half-drags her shaky form in the meeting room, tossing her into a chair. The King speaks up.

"Wow, your sister's a bitch, eh, Luna?" He asks his wife, and Celestia just grumbles.

"Thou art true. What brings thy foul face here, sister?" Luna asks, looking her dead in the eye.

"you...you......yOU!..." She stammers, trying to say something, but unable to find the words. "YOU FUCKING SLUT!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE, NIGHTMARE MOON!!!" She yells in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Says the one you completely eradicated a whole. Fucking. Species. At least humans try to save them." Luna responds, calmly.

"I was saving humans! Ponies are so much better than that," She motioned to the King. "Overgrown sex monster!" And with that, Luna slugged her across the muzzle, knocking out a few teeth, which ended up on the floor.

"Get the fuck out." Luna deadpanned, gripping Celestia's muzzle, with a voice that kills dragons. "Get the fuck out, or Lieutenant Jacksunny here with drag your overused ass out." Her voice rose into a yell. "AND IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, I WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN!!! FUCKING!!!! WINGS!!!!" She screamed in her face, causing her to flinch. "Now get out of here, or there won't be enough left of you to do so." And with that, she threw her to the floor, and Celestia flew away, crying. After 10 seconds, everybody started clapping.

"Fuck yeah!"

"That's why you're the fuckin' queen!" And other praise, from everybody, even those outside, as the entire thing had been broadcast over the few public TV's in the town.

"Alright! She will be back, so prepare! Code-FUA! I repeat, Code-FUA!" The King shouted, and immediately everybody began running about, gathering weapons, traps, and storing their children in the underground bunker, with a few adults working there, to take care of them. The King shut off the connection, and turned to Jacksunny. "Tell Sci-mon to activate it." He told him, and Jack nodded, running off. Once he gets there, he tells him to activate it. Sci-mon, a Unicorn scientist, goes to an elevator. This elevator leads to over 100 feet down, and to a room with wires everywhere. Sci-mon is a dark-brown unicorn with a startlingly long 14-inch horn with a white mane cropped to 3 cm above the eyes. He is 7 feet tall, and it scares people. He, however, is very agile and fairly strong, lugging 150-pound machinery. The room is stuffed with equipment, except for a narrow path leading to a weird circle suspended 2 feet off the ground, with a bunch of power cables and other cords hooked up to it, and a figure attached to the circle. Sci-mon goes up to a panel and pulls some levers and pushes some buttons, causing the figure to activate and raise her head. Upon seeing Sci-mon, she smiles. He greets her.

"Good afternoon, CelestAI."

Author's Note

Pacing's a little fast, but that seems to be under control. The ending, in my opinion, is decent end-chapter material. Hope you like this play on The Conversion Bureau and Friendship Is Optimal.

Remember, you exist.