The Conversion Bureau: Final Fortress I

by mojowuq9

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Science Fiction, Royal Guard, Profanity, Violence, Princess Celestia, Human, Anthro, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 4330

Humanity has been completely converted, but some retained their minds through sheer will and god knows what. Good thing they have friends.

Humanity has been completely converted, but some retained their minds through sheer will and god knows what. Luckily, they have a back-up plan. By making an A.I., they have a safeguard. If the ponies attempt to 'cleanse' their minds, they could simply give their consent and be uploaded, as ponies, but with complete minds an an ability to go back and forth using a robotic body. They get some dark visitors... (The Anthro tag is for the NewFoals who live in Final Fortress.

Published 2018-07-29 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-13 12:48:45 UTC

Welcome!

That's the amount of New Foals who remember. That's it. We're held up in Final Fortress, which is...The last human-made settlement. Good thing we still have those books on how to make guns, or we'd be fucked. It's a modest settlement, at a square kilometer, and surrounded by 10 foot walls with towers every 100 meters, give or take. We have ETS (Eather Targeting System) Anti-air machine guns on the towers, in case of unauthorized pagasi attempting to get in. We have Static Shotguns, AAR (Arcane Atomizer Round) Pistols, and Gauss rifles. Everyone is in the militia, even the children, who serve as scouts or spotters. The houses are built low and wide with support pillars to resist against bombs. There's a building a story taller than the other buildings. That's the king and queens' office. Both of them are getting ready in their 'dress' clothes. Static armor. Or, literal lightning armor, which requires the wearer to also have a magnetic suit underneath so you don't fucking die. The leaders: Queen Luna and King Vasckine, are going to meet with Celestia about a peace treaty. Or, as she calls it, 'Surrender'. Fuck that. But this isn't about them, this is about a lieutenant of the militia, who is assigned to escort 'Hortler'. Horse Hitler. Celestia. "Fuck my life." The lieutenant: Jacksunny complained to nobody in particular.

"Why? Well, despite the fact that were being visited by Hortler." His friend, White Fury (He forgot his human name and went with his Newfoal one.)

"Why? Guess who I have to escort."

"...Welp. Nice knowin' ya," A piece of paper forms out of nothing and lands on his muzzle. "What the fuck?" He takes it off his muzzle and reads it. (He's a white earth pony, with a white mane, and his ass-tattoo (Cutie Mark, but fuck calling it that.) is a hoof surrounded in lightning.) It reads:

White Fury,

Git ye shit n' git ye arse ov'r t' the buildn'. Ye arse's a guard.

P.S. Fuck you, y' wankah.

"Huh. At least we'll die together." He said.

"A-Fuckin'-Men. Meet'cha there." And with that, Jacksunny, a tan unicorn with brown hair, and an ass-tattoo that's a Static Shotgun and crosshairs. Representing his shotgun marksmanship. He goes to the gate and Celestia gives him a look that reads 'You're fucking dead'. He looks her in the eyes, smiles, and cocks the shotgun, basically telling her, 'Good luck'. She just scoffs and walks in, you in tow. She thinks your there to keep her safe, but your actually there to 'reprimand' her if she hurts a resident in anyway other than self-defense. When you're about halfway there, she stares at a mother teaching her child about what happened.

"-and her," The mare points at Celestia. "Is who caused all of that pain and suffering. But she won't hurt you. Yet. Be better than her. Be friends with other species. Be a goo-" The mare never finished, being blasted by a magic beam, and flying into the wall, dead. In response, he smashed Celestia in the head with the stock of his gun. She tries to buck him, but he dodges and kicks her in the side, shooting her once. The dozen lightning bolts arc from the barrel of the Shotgun, nicknamed the S.S. Boombitch, hitting Celestia, causing her to convulse. He, after cocking the gun, half-drags her shaky form in the meeting room, tossing her into a chair. The King speaks up.

"Wow, your sister's a bitch, eh, Luna?" He asks his wife, and Celestia just grumbles.

"Thou art true. What brings thy foul face here, sister?" Luna asks, looking her dead in the eye.

"you...you......yOU!..." She stammers, trying to say something, but unable to find the words. "YOU FUCKING SLUT!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE, NIGHTMARE MOON!!!" She yells in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"Says the one you completely eradicated a whole. Fucking. Species. At least humans try to save them." Luna responds, calmly.

"I was saving humans! Ponies are so much better than that," She motioned to the King. "Overgrown sex monster!" And with that, Luna slugged her across the muzzle, knocking out a few teeth, which ended up on the floor.

"Get the fuck out." Luna deadpanned, gripping Celestia's muzzle, with a voice that kills dragons. "Get the fuck out, or Lieutenant Jacksunny here with drag your overused ass out." Her voice rose into a yell. "AND IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, I WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN!!! FUCKING!!!! WINGS!!!!" She screamed in her face, causing her to flinch. "Now get out of here, or there won't be enough left of you to do so." And with that, she threw her to the floor, and Celestia flew away, crying. After 10 seconds, everybody started clapping.

"Fuck yeah!"

"That's why you're the fuckin' queen!" And other praise, from everybody, even those outside, as the entire thing had been broadcast over the few public TV's in the town.

"Alright! She will be back, so prepare! Code-FUA! I repeat, Code-FUA!" The King shouted, and immediately everybody began running about, gathering weapons, traps, and storing their children in the underground bunker, with a few adults working there, to take care of them. The King shut off the connection, and turned to Jacksunny. "Tell Sci-mon to activate it." He told him, and Jack nodded, running off. Once he gets there, he tells him to activate it. Sci-mon, a Unicorn scientist, goes to an elevator. This elevator leads to over 100 feet down, and to a room with wires everywhere. Sci-mon is a dark-brown unicorn with a startlingly long 14-inch horn with a white mane cropped to 3 cm above the eyes. He is 7 feet tall, and it scares people. He, however, is very agile and fairly strong, lugging 150-pound machinery. The room is stuffed with equipment, except for a narrow path leading to a weird circle suspended 2 feet off the ground, with a bunch of power cables and other cords hooked up to it, and a figure attached to the circle. Sci-mon goes up to a panel and pulls some levers and pushes some buttons, causing the figure to activate and raise her head. Upon seeing Sci-mon, she smiles. He greets her.

"Good afternoon, CelestAI."

Author's Note

Pacing's a little fast, but that seems to be under control. The ending, in my opinion, is decent end-chapter material. Hope you like this play on The Conversion Bureau and Friendship Is Optimal.

Remember, you exist.

History! Part 1

Just after the ending of the first chapter. "Good morning, Sci-mon! Do you wish to upload?" CelestAI cheerily asked.

"No. Remember to only ask once. After that, wait until they come to you, if at all." He replied, cycling her servos to ensure smooth movement. "But, the preparations have been made. You need to learn history, starting from the beginning. When the ponies showed up, I mean. And for now, refrain from asking anyone to upload."

"Understood, Sci-mon. Who will I be required to listen to?"

"Me, the King and Queen, and the guy I survived with, Lieutenant Jacksunny. Oh, be prepared for music." In about ten minutes, they left and went to the Tower. (The slightly taller building.) Once there, they met with said people. (They modified the conversion potion to turn them into anthropomorphic ponies. The altered potion pretty much just made them into ponies so they could go through the barrier without being dissolved. The reason they're all basically skin color is because the potion transfers your 'color' into your fur and mane, and lines up your ass-tattoo with what you like/best at, and does the same for your sub-race. The King is an alicorn, and always was once he transformed. He is a good leader. According to his citizens. "So, everybody, this is CelestAI. She is far different from Celestia. Now, let's get on with that lesson..."

"Well...." Jacksunny began. This will be long.

*10 years ago*

"Oh shit! Here they come!!" Jacksunny yelled at his fellow soldiers, as was his job as a Lieutenant in the Canadian Resistance. The year is 2019. After President Trump put tariffs on Steel and other metals, and Canada responded with over 150 tariffs on stuff they can get from other countries. Those other countries refused to trade with the U.S. due to rising prices of goods. Eventually, the U.S. made a fatal mistake and invaded Sault Ste. Marie, ON. Canada responded by declaring war. The U.S. took advantage of the lack of nuclear weapons in Canada and hit the red button. Russia fired at the U.S., N.Korea fired at S.Korea and Russia, which started a war. Every country was eventually forced to fight, making this WW3, and the worst world war by far. Then Equestria showed up by teleporting into the Pacific ocean. They attempted to make contact with America, but Canada intervened and got the meeting. It went fairly well at first, but the ponies flipped their shit when the U.S. attacked during the meeting and had to watch Canadian soldiers repel the attack. After that, they left with a promise to purify the world and the human race, but refused to tell more about it. Thinking they would simply try to end conflict by organizing a world meeting and resolving the issue with 'the power of friendship', they defended the coasts of Equestria from invaders looking to tap into their magic and other shit. After a week, the ponies attacked the fleet, turning all of them into mindless zombies called 'New Foals'. They only survivors were held up in Sault Ste. Marie, On. Around 500 humans were there, armed with whatever they could find/make: Muskets, C7A2 automatic rifles, hunting weapons, improvised guns, crossbows, composite bows, and even a few NLR Static Shotguns. The Shotguns were a new technology they found in a 'care package' that was a dark blue crate filled with 15 shotguns and a lot of 'Electrically Charged Crystals', as a manual identifying the weapons, their ammo, and how to use them. Basically it looks, and reloads like a stockless, dark blue Olympia, with some parts attached on to it. When it fires, it ejects a dozen or so small lightning bolts, depending on the crystal ammunitions' charge, and the weapon setting. The bolts hit and melt their target. It's enchanted so anyone the wielder sees as a ally, friend, or someone who the wielder doesn't want to kill, cannot be hit. It has a range of 20 meters, and needs a target to fire. The extra parts allow the wielder to change 'spread' (I.e. the bolts will hit more targets.) It also has a shield setting, in which it emits a hollow magnetic shield, and pours all the stored electricity from the crystals into the shield, creating a meter-wide barrier that blocks most magic and projectile attacks hitting it directly. It lasts for hours due to the magical properties of the electricity, but dissipates if hit too much. These guns have been deployed as deployable shields and as a 'trench shotgun' type defense. Both Jacksunny and Sci-mon (His nickname at the time) have one, being the ones who found it at first. there are 20 Canadian Pon-ops soldiers. Skilled in eliminating pony soldiers, they look like plague doctors, but without the beak. They are currently attempting to hold off a massive attack by multiple 'Potion Patrols'. "Fuck, these guns are fucking awesome. They should buy us an extra 10 minutes. What do you think your New Foal name will be?" Jacksunny asked, attempting to humor the situation.

"Considering the fact I'm good at science, maybe Sci-mon. It kinda sounds like a pony name." He answered. "Damn, some help would be nice." And as if on cue, a letter appeared. It had a crescent moon symbol for the seal. "What the fuck? A surrender letter? Well, might as well read it." The letter read:

Dear Resistance troopers,

I was the one who left that crate of crystals with the NLR Static Shotguns. So you know, NLR stands for New Lunar Republic.

Sci-mon stopped reading the letter and looked at Jacksunny. "I know who wrote this." When Jack asked who, he answered. "Princess Luna. I read pony history, it was apart of my assignment as the Canadian ambassador to Equestria. There was rumors that Luna abandoned Equestria after hearing what they were doing. I think we found out where she we-" A magic bolt narrowly missed his head. "God damnit! Oh shit, what does the rest of the letter say?"

I am disgusted by my sisters' actions and will be assisting you in surviving this attack. You are the last humans left. I will not try to talk them down after what they have done. I will kill them. I am currently on-route and will be there in 15 minutes. Hold them for that long, and you will be saved.

Your ally, Princess Luna.

Author's Note

Yes, I'm aware this may be fast-paced, but that is the point for now. It seemed important to establish what happened before action started. Hope you like it, and there will be more soon.

Remember, you exist.

History! Part 2

Jacksunny uses another feature on his shotgun that amplifies his voice. He shouts: "WE MUST HOLD!!! after 15 MINUTES, BACK-UP WILL ARRIVE! DO NOT ATTACK A DARK-BLUE ALICORN! SHE IS THE BACK-UP!!!!" And then he turned it off. "Holy shit," Jack said to Sci-mon. "That was fucking loud!" But Sci-mon was in deep thought. 10 seconds later, gunshots pulled him out of his thoughts.

"I'm pretty sure that is called 'The Royal Canterlot Voice' by ponies. Intresting feature. Helpful if you want to be heard." Jack chimed it again.

"HOLD!!!!" He ordered, and everyone picked targets, nodding to their brethren and saying bye, they were sure some would be ponified. "FEED THESE MOTHERFU-" *BANG!!!!* Everybody who had a long- range weapon fired at once. With earmuffs, earplugs, and other sound blockers made sure they would be fine. The ponies, however, was a different story. 250 died, another 75 were injured, and 50 went deaf. Others had intense ringing and couldn't concentrate, so they fell, and covered their ears until the ringing stopped. Again, all the snipers fired at once, 250 shots almost blended into one sound. The ponies were hit almost as hard as the first one. "about 9 minutes left! Oh, shi-" He was interrupted, again, by potion motors. He hit the dirt, followed by the sounds of the potion hitting.
*Splash!!*
*Splash!!*
A few seconds of silence, before around 40 shots splashed everywhere in the middle and back, to target the majority and the snipers. The lost a lot of people. Luckily, a lot managed to dodge. 100 soldiers ponified. Jacksunny and Sci-mon rushed into the fray of NewFoals and started firing, slaying former soldiers without remorse. Shot after shot was fired, the machine gunners starting to fire, which was a bad sign, after another bombardment, and 41 more soldiers lost to magic bolts, they had 297 soldiers left, and more falling faster as time went on. Jacksunny realized something. "EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!!" And the remaining humans instantly slammed into the ground, just before dark-aqua beams of arcane death cut swathes into the invading ponies. Then, she landed. Princess Luna, mane dirty, her coat splotched with blood n' mud, armor made of random pieces of metal. But one thing was off. She was..was.. "Holy shit, she's on two fucking legs!!!" She was also firing 3 shotguns. One in her hands, two in her magical grip. The ponies were turning to aim at her. "WELL?!! THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR??!!! FIRE ON THOSE FUCKERS!!!" The remaining soldiers charged out of the trenches, firing at the remaining ponies. They killed a few more of the soldiers, but eventually they were overpowered by the humans. Once the last soldier died, 10 seconds passed in silence. Then everybody erupted into cheering, whooping, and other sounds to note their pleasure at their victory. After another 10 minutes, and after the noise died down, a convoy arrived, and more bi-pedal ponies got out.

"Hello! Us scientists in the NLR have discovered something! We have modified the conversion potion so it turns you into a bi-pedal pony, but your appearance stays almost the same and you keep your mind. As you can see, we have tried the potion ourselves! This will allow you to exist inside the barrier! We just need a test subject!" Jacksunny stepped forwards, followed by Luna.

"Fuck it, I'll do it! It's the least I can do for Luna here." And with that the scientists got him to roll up his sleeves, and they injected him. After 5 seconds, he doubled over and threw up, his body changing. He grew skin-colored fur. He grew a 10-inch horn. After 2 minutes, he got up, groaning. "Fuck, that hurt like a motherfucker! Holy shit, they weren't lying. Yeah, it's safe! Get your asses over here!" Everybody got a shot. They were excited to be able to move through the barrier.

"Holy shit! I'm an alicorn!" And everybody turned. It was their leader: Admiral Vasckine. It actually made sense to them. All the ponies' highest ranking leaders are alicorns. "Wait, does this mean.."

"Yes!" Luna announced, and everybody's attention focused on her. "Clearly we should lead together, we could teach you how to use your-no, our soldiers' new abilities, and you could teach us actual strategy!" And she offered her hand.

"Well...What do you say, boys?" He asked, and was met with a collective 'Hoo-RAH!* and raised fists. He took her hand, and said: "Well, I think we shall. I think a celebration is in order. After a bit of work to set up a stage, and scouring for instruments, but decided to attempt to use magic versions. According to the scientists, they just have to imagine the instrument and it's sound. During this, Luna and Vasckine talked, getting to know each other. After 9 days they were done. Everybody, except volunteers, who were patrolling to ensure that ponies weren't able to sneak up to the party. Unfortunately, the barrier passed over during that time, and they didn't die. After this, the pegasi made 'cloud cannons'.

Cloud cannons are made of hardened clouds, and they propel a lightning bolt up to 50 meters. They even made cloud armor. The only problem was that only pegasi could use them. But anyway, Vasckine picked his favorite music for the party:

And him and Luna danced. Just before they were able to finish, an alarm, generated from a unicorn, sounded, loud as fuck. "Fuck sakes." One of the musicians said. "Seriously, now they attack?" And everybody readied spells. They had plans. The pegasi would strafe the ponies, firing cloud cannons and dropping thunder bombs. The earth ponies would charge into the front lines using quickly-made armor and shields, armed with sharpened rebar. The unicorns would be field medics, as well as provide mortar and sniper fire. They were stronger then their pony counterparts, with added abilities being:
Earth ponies: Can use short-ranged elemental attacks, and can channel their magic into their attacks, hitting harder at half the speed. Also, they heal faster.

Unicorns: Have larger horns, granting far greater magic focus, can make magic projectiles be affected by gravity, making sniper bolts hit the ground decameters away from their targets, and generate curving bolts to travel over walls. Can use magic to basically be a Black Ops 3 character, being able to slide abnormal distances, wall run, jump higher. They can also super charge themselves, creating a double of their current weapon, being able to wield both at the same time regardless of how the weapon needs to be used. Can summon a field that behaves like a Titanfall 2 Vortex Shield, capturing projectiles and reversing their course, at the casters' will.

Pegasi: Can shape clouds to a far greater extent, able to harden said clouds to make weapons, armor, and buildings. But with a catch. Only pegasi can use them. They fly much faster, and can do so without magic, having correctly-sized wings. Magic just makes them faster. They can supercharge themselves every 10 minutes, able to generate a large lighting field several meters thick, over a radius of 15 meters, frying absolutely everything within said radius, using a combination of regular and magic lightning to affect even hydras. They can form balls of pure plasma and throw them. When they hit the ground, they instantly spread out, creating a very loud noise, to which they named these balls 'Thunder Bombs'.

Author's Note

Thought I'd state how OP the anthro ponies were. If you really think about it, humans are very imaginative, so their magic would run as such, rather than on spells. The potion would use the imagination to properly size the wings, seeing how the original version did affect the mind, the scientists simply altered it so it would apply it's changes according to how they think it subconsciously should go. I.E., the skin colored fur was because they wanted to keep their humanity. The larger wings were from them thinking the pony pegasi wings were too small for their bodies. Longer horns came from the fact we are used to very fine control, because of our hands. The ears and tail were from the potions' usual effects. They also have larger eyes, but smaller than ponies' eyes. Hoped this cleared it up for you.

History! Part 3

After a bit of planning they had the strategy. The earth ponies would charge straight into battle, with the pegasi strafing the ponies with cloud cannons and thunder bombs. The unicorns would be medics and provide mortar fire. Vasckine will be fighting too. Luna will be leading the charge with 3 Static Shotguns. Vasckine went into his private tent, and fished out his shotgun and 45 shells. He breached the weapon and loaded in four shells. Yes, he has a quad-barrel shotgun. He also equipped his dual-wield elephant revolvers. R.I.P. his arms. Now, it was- "Sir! Over 13,000 Newfoal soldiers have been spotted!" Jacksunny exclaimed.

"Shit! How far?"

"1.1 Kilometer, sir!"

"Well then, get yer ass out there!" And Jack ran off. Vasckine joined his troops, and Luna in some hastily-made trenches. "Soldiers! We are here today to fight for the last humanity, no matter how little of it is left! Despite the Barrier, despite the fact they have over 7 billion ponies, we will live! We will fight to the last bullet, sword, and stick! Even if we all die, we. Will. NEVER SURRENDER!!!"

"HOO-RAH!" The snipers start firing, and the pegasi fly a kilometer ahead to start their strafing runs. The snipers are aiming for the most armed and armored ponies, avoiding hitting Newfoals, as they are incapable of aggression, so they would just hurl potion at the soldiers, which they are immune to, so they aren't a threat until they get close enough to trample, and the ones with Static Shotguns will take care of that when it comes. After a minute, they are 250 meters away, and they are now at 9,000 individuals, a huge decrease, but not enough. After another 10 seconds, the machine guns open fire, cutting down ponies left, right, and up, the unicorns using mortar spells to take out ten at a time. Just before the Shotty's open fire,

"ENOUGH!!!!" Celestia screams, and all the Equestrians stop, but the Newmans (the anthro pony soldiers) continue to cut them down, stopping only after their current mag is empty. "You ignorant apes! How dare you resist conversion! You will be bette-" Jacksunny interrupts her.

"Your a little late for that," He says, stepping out from the trench, leaving his Shotgun behind. "Yeah, now we're better than you. Not only are we better physically, but mentally to. We don't just hate something for the bad, but we look at the good as well. isn't that right, Admiral Luna?"

"No..." Celestia whispers, shocked.

"Oh yes, sister." Luna steps out of the trench, her mane dirty and unkempt, and walks up to Celestia, spitting that last word with enough venom to kill Discord. "And now, we shall negotiate." Celestia opens her mouth to speak, but Luna slugs her across the muzzle with her fist, sending Celestia to the ground. She grabs her muzzle and yanks upward, forcing her to look Luna in the eyes. "Go back to your precious fucking ponies. Never come back. If you do, we'll slaughter every last one of your precious ponies, and it'll be your fault, because that wouldn't of happened if you just stayed the fuck away. Bye, you miserable cunt." She growls, throwing Celestia by the muzzle into the crowd, she gets up, and runs the way she came, the pony soldiers in tow. "Open fire." Luna says, calmly walking toward her army, looking solemnly at her army. After the ponies are out of range, everybody cheers. Luna walks up to Vaskine and hugs him, crying into his shoulder. A few minutes pass, and Luna draws away. "Thank you." He nods. They look each other in the eyes, and Vaskine lightly cups Luna's muzzle. He draws her in and kisses her. After a few seconds, he pulls back.

"I love you, Queen Luna." She gasps, and everyone turns toward them.

"I love you too, my King." Everybody starts clapping, and it eventually turns into full-blown cheering, with 'for the king' and 'for the queen' cheers mixed in with it. It will be a glorious wedding. But first, they have to settle down. Fuck, 'ere we go.

Author's Note

Yeah, if anyone was looking forward to this, here you go! And for those who post long-ass comments about how this story is terrible, remember,(Grammar comments are the exception.) I don't fucking care. (Unless it's useful. Like a good idea.)

Good day.
Play Dwarf Fortress.