Sureshot Vs. Estrus

It was a peaceful day in Equestria, princess Celestia had just raised the sun and all seemed well, the birds were chirping and the ponies were getting ready to start their day. Store vendors began to put up their wares and the workers of Equestria was getting ready for another day under Celestia’s beautiful sun.

One that was not so thrilled about the start of a new day was Sureshot, Ponyville’s own resident human. Today marked the two-month mark at his extended stay in Equestria. He woke up to the sun shining though his window which made him groan in agony, he hated that Celestia would raise the sun so early and believes she was doing it just to spite him in the mornings.

“Why can’t the sun just raise later if they got a goddamn goddess controlling it!”

After contemplating to just stay in bed all day he finally managed to untangle himself from the blankets and rolling over to the edge of the bed. These mornings where getting more and more tiring during his stay in Equestria, and just like every morning he cursed his luck for getting stuck here through some failed teleportation spell by Twilight Sparkle.

Finally getting tired of pitying himself he decided to walk down the stairs in his way to small house and get some breakfast.

“Looks like I’m out of bread… again, I swear someone else eats it.”

After rummaging through some cabinets, he finally finds some cereal and sits down at the kitchen table to enjoy his breakfast. Just as he was getting comfortable does he realize that he doesn’t have any milk either.

“FUCK! Might as well just take a trip to the market before I eat.” Sureshot says in an annoyed voice.

Despite not liking his stay here he got to admit that getting a stipend from princess Celestia every week is pretty awesome, she said something about apologizing for Twilight’s mistake. It’s not enough to live a life of luxury, but it’s enough to get by being comfortable.

The walk down to the market is a short one since the house Celestia provided him is right in the middle of town. The occasional pony sees him and waves at him with a smile, something he halfheartedly returns with a neutral expression.

“Why hello there Sureshot! How marvelous to see you dear.”

“Oh no…” He mumbles

As he turns around to face the voice he slowly starts regretting getting up in the morning. Rarity is standing a few feet away from him with a dreamy expression and a smug smile on her face.

“It’s so nice to see that you are outside for once, you know it’s not healthy just staying at your house and not talking to anyone.” She says, the smug smile never leaving her face

“I would be more out around if not everyone here would act like they had a crush on me.” He says, already tired of the conversation

For the briefest moment, he could see Rarity’s smile flicker before coming back in full force.

“Aww, don’t be like that, I’ve already explained to you that it’s just how us ponies interact with each other.”

“That doesn’t mean that I have to like it.” He says as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

Whatever else Rarity wanted to say was lost on him as they had finally arrived at Ponyville marketplace. As they walked into the market they spotted Applejack in her usual spot shouting about how delicious her apples were, much to the dismay of everyone around her.

“Sorry to cut the conversation short Rarity, but I just want to get some milk and bread and I will be on my merry way home.”

“Oh no, that simply won’t do dear.” Rarity protests.

“Pinkie pie is hosting a party this evening and she wanted me to give you this invitation.” She says as she passes him a pink little envelope with a heart on it.

He gets showered in confetti as he opens it to find a card inside inviting him to his “Happy two-months in Equestria Sureshot! Party.”

As he is trying to clean the confetti out of his cloths he looks over and sees that Rarity also got covered in confetti, a bemused expression on her face.

“She promised me it would not have any confetti in it…” She says with a pout.

Sureshot made a manly attempt not to laugh at Rarity’s misfortune, but it proved to hard when he could no longer stifle his laughter with a hand.

“Oh, ha ha ha…” Rarity looks at him with a scolding expression.

“Need I remind you that you are covered in just as much confetti yourself mister”

Realization kicks in and you suddenly stop laughing, leaving you with a grin.

“It’s still funny since you care more about how you look than I do.” He says with a wide grin.

“Hmpf! Such a brute.” Rarity scolds

Sureshot still remembers that he was here to get some food so he walks over to the milkmare to buy a gallon of milk. Though he won’t say it out loud he still thinks it’s weird for a pony to have cow udders but he decides its best to keep his opinion to himself.

After also visiting the bread stall, he realizes that Rarity has being trying to get his attention all this time and he has been ignoring her.

“What is it?”

“I’ve been trying to ask if you are going to show up at Pinkie’s party tonight? You know how sad she gets when her guests don’t come.”

Sureshot certainly remembers the last time, Pinkie had locked herself in her room and refused to come out until he had come over and apologized.

“Who else is going to be there?” He asks, some curiosity slipping into his voice.

“Oh, just you, me and the rest of the girls.” Rarity answers with glee.

“I guess as long as Fluttershy can keep her hooves to herself and not try to grope me I’ll be fine…” He replies with a tired sigh.

“Oh, come on dear, she was just curious about an animal she had never seen before, she didn’t have any ill intention behind it.” Rarity says.

“Easy for you to say, you weren’t getting groped by a four-foot-tall horse with wings.” He scoffs.

Feeling quite done talking with Rarity he bids his goodbyes and heads home to finally get some food in his belly.

As he walks by the bar a drunk little pony with a dark coat and eyepatch stumble out, hollering something about "hitscan" and "knockback".

“The fuck was that about…” He ponders out loud on his way home.

As he could finally see the sight of his house in the distance, he silently cheered that he won’t have to do anymore social interaction until the party tonight. As he entered the garden and walked toward his door he hears a gust of wind and the sound of someone landing behind him. Reluctantly he turns around to see the face of his one arch nemesis, Rainbow dash, in all her rainbow pride.

“HEY SURESHOT! WHATS CONFUSED AND IN PAIN!? YOU!” she screams as she brings her hoof down and proceeds to punch him right on the face, before dashing off into the sky laughing.

While this would normally leave him upset and even a little angry, but it’s not the first time she has done this and he doubts it will be the last. Guess he shouldn’t have kept teasing her about having gay hair.

Finally, having made it inside and gotten some food, Sureshot ponders what he was going to spend the day doing until he would have to show his face at Pinkie’s party so she would not go full crazy horse again.

“I guess I could head over to Sprinkle and tease her about being a nerd horse.” He says to himself with barely contained malice.

While Sureshot didn’t believe Twilight to be a bad pony or anything, he still kept a personal vendetta against her for bringing him to this world against his will. He knew it wasn’t on purpose but he was still miffed about it.

Walking over to Twilight’s massive “Friendship’n’shit” castle proved to be a more difficult task then he originally assumed it to be. It seemed every mare that met him looked at him with lust and desire in their eyes. As he kept walking and saying hello to ponies he was getting more and more uncomfortable about it. When he finally snapped he grabbed hold of a mint green mare who was giving him the same eyes as everyone else.

“What is wrong with you mares, and why are you all looking at me like I’m some sort of supermodel!” He announces loudly.

“In case you haven’t noticed honey, you are the only stallion around town who is walking outside at this time of the year~” She said with a lusty tone.

“What the hell should I make of that! Speak so you make sense!”

“Didn’t anyone tell you? Estrus season in coming up and a lot of mares are looking for a partner to snuggle with~” She says as she winks at him.

He pushes the horse away from him and as he turns on his heel to head on back home, the gears in his head starts turning. He is invited to a party tonight, a party with him and six mares, at the start of Estrus season.