I'll Have an Order of Corn and Cheese, With a Side Order of Cliché

by Fattymagee1

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Applejack, Spike, Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy
Length: 5059

Spike and Rarity terrible shipping

The title says it all. Must I really need to explain more? I guess I do because it says I have to.

Basically I took the most unbelievably corny and cheesy ideas that I have actually seen in My Little Pony shipping fics and placed them all into a one-shot romance.

Please, do not take this seriously.

Published 2012-08-03 20:34:04 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-03 20:34:04 UTC

Sigh...

The front door of the library flew wide open.

“Spike! Spike! I have something REALLY important I need to tell you!” said Twilight as she galloped through the central cavity of the library and up the stairs towards her room. “It’s a matter of life and death!”

Spike was busy picking up some of the books Twilight had finished reading the night before. They could be found scattered across the floor around Twilight’s bed.

“Not now Twilight, I’m busy picking up these books so I can reshelf them. Can’t this wait until later?”

Twilight looked down and began to cry. “No Spike, this can’t wait! Why don’t you believe me?”

Spike dropped the pile of books he was carrying. “Don’t cry Twilight, hey, wanna hear a joke?”

Twilight nodded.

“Why does Fluttershy speak so softly?”

Twilight looked up and stared into Spike’s beautiful green eyes. “Um, I don’t know Spike. Why?”

Spike paused for dramatic effect. “Because she’s... a little hoarse!”

Both Twilight and Spike erupted into laughter, rolling on the floor for several minutes. Then Twilight remembered she still had extremely imperative information for Spike.

“Spike! That was a hilarious joke, but I still need to tell you what’s so important!”

“Oh alright, but make it it quick.” Spike began to walk towards the door. "I’ve got some gems that need eating.”

“I’ve noticed you’ve had no luck lately finding a special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day, so I set you up on a blind date! Isn’t that just great? It’s exactly what my book How To Find Love When You're A Loser said I should do!”

Spike’s eyes lit up like disco balls. “Oh yes, Twilight! Love is a matter of life and death! This is wonderful, thank you for caring so much about my feelings! When and where is the date?”

Twilight ran over to the closet to retrieve spike’s attire for the date. “In fifteen minutes at the Ponyville Cafe! You better dress casually, and by casually I mean the tuxedo you wore to the Gala!”

…

Spike skipped down the street in his tuxedo, receiving praise from everypony he passed along the way.

“Lookin’ good Spike!” said Carrot Top.

“Yeah Spike, lookin’ real good!” said Berry Punch.

“I like muffins!” said Derpy before crashing through a window.

Spike strut over to Lyra, who had recently finished doing something with Bon Bon. He needed practice for his date. No, not that kind of practice.

“Hey Lyra, there must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you!” said Spike.

Lyra’s cheeks blushed rosy red and her eyes lit up like wildfire. “Oh Spike, you really have a way with mares. I will totally dump Bon Bon and be your special somepony this Hearts and Hooves Day!”

“Sorry honeybun, but that was just practice. I’ve already got a date tonight!” said Spike before he once again took off skipping down the road towards the Ponyville Cafe.

A little sad, but mostly confused, Lyra trotted in the opposite direction.

“Oh well, back to Bon Bon’s place I go!”
…

Spike had nearly reached the cafe when he spotted Applejack selling her delicious apples at her usual stand. Spike thought this was another optimal chance to practice his amazing comedy skills before the date.

Applejack noticed Spike approaching her stand. “Well howdy Spike! What brings ya t’ this part of town dressed so... froufrouey? Is it Nightmare Night again already?”

Spike stood in front of Applejack with a massive grin. “Twilight set me up on a blind date since I don’t have a special somepony for Hearts and Hooves day! Isn’t that awesome?”

“Well that’s just fine and dandy Spike! Good luck to ya with yer date, cowboy,” said Applejack with a wink.

“Hey Applejack, wanna hear a joke?” said Spike, who now now peering with puppy-dog eyes deep into Applejack’s, “I swear it’s hilarious!”

Applejack thought about it for a second. The last joke somepony told her... well Applejack didn't want to think about it. Spike was different though. She could handle one of his jokes. “Alright Spike, I guess one riddle here and there never hurt nopony.”

“Why is six afraid of seven?”

A dumbstruck expression suddenly appeared on Applejack’s face. “I don’t reckon I know the answer to that, Spike. Why is six afraid a’ seven?”

Spike once again paused for dramatic effect.

“Because seven..."

"Ate...”

"Nine!"

Spike began cracking up wildly at his own joke, but Applejack stood there in confusion. Figuring out complex things had never been her strong suit, especially when it came to numbers.

“Spike! I don’t get it!” said Applejack a little angrily.

The baby dragon could still hardly contain his laughter. “Its like the number seven... ate as in eat but also like the number eight... the number nine! So six thought seven... was evil for that. Get it now?”

Applejack’s eyes lit up. “Oh now I get it!” Applejack was now cracking up wildly as well. “You sure as Sally are one funny dragon, Spike!”

...

A yellow pegasus mare pulling a cart full of frogs came around a corner. She spotted Applejack laughing with a stranger, thus her shy nature wanted nothing to do with it. There was no way she could fly without being noticed. She tried to walk past slowly, desperately hoping Applejack wouldn't notice her. It was to no avail.

“Fluttershy!” exclaimed Applejack. “Come on over 'ere and say hi!”

“Yeah Fluttershy, come talk to us!” exclaimed Spike.

Fluttershy hid behind the curtain of her pink mane. “Oh... I don’t know if that’s necess...”

“Fiddlesticks! Why, a’course it is! We love talkin’ to ya Fluttershy!” interrupted Applejack.

Defeated, the pegasus trotted over with her head down towards Applejack’s stand. It was beginning to grow dark, so Fluttershy didn’t at first recognize Spike in his tuxedo and combed scales.

“Hey Applejack, hey... well who are you?” asked Fluttershy.

“The real question is did it hurt?” asked Spike.

“Did what hurt... Spike? Is that you?”

“Did it hurt when you fell out of pony heaven?”

Fluttershy’s cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson red. Nopony had ever made such advances on her.

“Spike, it is you.”

“The one and only!” said Spike proudly. "No seriously, I pretty much am the only dragon in Equestria."

“Nopony... and I guess no dragon... has ever said anything so kind to me before. I never thought I would say this but... I don't have a date for Hearts and Hooves Day." Fluttershy took a deep breath letting it out, "I was just wondering if... maybe... you would be my special somepony... or dragon... if it’s okay with you that is?” Fluttershy asked with the utmost confidence.

“Sorry Fluttershy, but I’ve got a date tonight! I was just practicing my slick charm. It seems I still got it!”

Fluttershy’s fluttering heart suddenly fell down to the deepest depths of despair. It was the first time she had ever asserted herself romantically, and was rejected. Not just rejected, shot down completely. So nonchalantly, so unemotionally, almost like he was making fun of her. It was too much for her extremely fragile heart to handle.

“W...w...with who?” said Fluttershy, whom was nearly in tears.

Spike looked up at the clocktower. “I don’t know! That's what's so great about it. It’s a blind date. It could be anypony. Isn’t that cool? If I don’t get there soon though there won’t be anypony TO date! I’ve gotta run, nice talking to you Applejack and Fluttershy!”

Spike once again took off skipping down the street towards the Ponyville Cafe.

“Bye, Spike!” hollered Applejack.

Fluttershy remained silent, but Applejack thought she could hear the pegasus’s heart thumping in her chest.

“You alright, sugarcube?”

Fluttershy turned around to face Applejack. The pegasus now had a bizarre, grin-like expression on her face.

“Nopony dumps Fluttershy! Especially over somepony they don't even know yet! Fluttershy is not a pushover anymore! You’ll see. He'll be mine! ALL MINE!” Fluttershy laughed maniacally before flying off in the same direction Spike went in.

A growing sense of horror began to build inside Applejack.

“This can’t be good.”
…

Spike arrived at the cafe, just in the nick of time. He walked in through the door, and immediately noticed how crowded and different the place looked at night. He had dined there before with Twilight, but always for lunch and usually outside in the patio area.

The room’s lights were dimmed, and a smooth jazz ensemble was playing on a small stage in one of the corners. The gray mare playing the cello particularly caught Spike's eye, she was quite attractive. From what Spike could see every table was occupied by a couple, except for one. He could make out that it was a mare sitting at the table alone, but couldn’t quite identify her since it was too dim.

“That must be her! Alright! I can’t wait to work some more of my mare magic!”

Spike walked up to the stand where a waiter with a blue mane combed all the way back stood reading orders. When he looked up and saw Spike approaching, a smile appeared on his face.

“Welcome to ze Ponyville Cafe, ze most luxurious eatery in town. I am Horte Cuisine, and I will be your waiter this evening. How many in your party tonight?” said the waiter in a strong accent.

“Oh I’m not with anypony, but after tonight I’m not so sure. I’ve got a hot date waiting for me, and it’s my job to turn her world upside down!”

The waiter lifted an eyebrow. “Oh Yes! Ze what do you call it... blind date with ze pretty mare! Right this way monsieur.”

The waiter led Spike towards the table where the lone mare sat waiting. As they moved closer Spike started to make out details about her. She was a white unicorn with a curly purple mane, and she wore a yellow and magenta dress. A golden tiara sat on her head, and a necklace with a large deep-maroon ruby shaped like a heart was adorned around her neck. Only one word could describe this mare:

Simply gorgeous.

And It all looked so strangely familiar.

When Spike arrived at the table, his eyes locked with the mare’s like a key in a lock.

“Rarity?”

“Spike?”

Spike sat down at the table across from Rarity, both continuing to stare into each other's eyes. He could only think one thing:

Twilight is the most awesome pony in Equestria.

...

After a long silence, Rarity was the first to speak,

“Spike... you’re my blind date? Surely this is some sort of mistake! Twilight said he was a gentlecolt, not a... well... gentledrake. Please, do be a dear and go tell Twilight she sent the wrong stallion... ahem, I mean dragon.”

Spike didn't understand one word that came out of her mouth. He continued to stare into Rarity’s dark azure eyes - they only seemed to grow more dazzling the longer he gazed into them. “Letters? Rarity, my lady, if I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”

Rarity blushed violently, and it began to feel like butterflies were fluttering around in her stomach. It was a feeling she had never felt before. Then thoughts began creeping into her mind. Was he truly the one? Was this the one fish in the sea she had truly been searching for? Maybe this was no mistake afterall.

It suddenly hit Rarity like a lightning bolt. How hadn't she seen it?. “Spike. Just like the fire ruby you gave me is the nicest thing anypony has ever given me, your words are the nicest anypony has ever said to me. Not just now but in the past too. All those times you helped me in the boutique, all the compliments and affection you showed me - only you showed me.”

Spike continued staring into the eyes of the mare he loved, to the point he was beginning to drool.

“Nopony I have dated has ever been as nice and sweet as you, my little Spikey-Wikey, and now I realize that you are the one I am destined to be with! I don’t care if you are a dragon! Love knows no bounds, and it is what’s on the inside that counts! Spike, I love you! In the name of love and fashion, will you be my special somepony this Hearts and Hooves Day?”

Spike regained his composure. “My lady, it’s you and I until the day we die.”

Rarity leaned across the table toward Spike. “Oh Spike, what was I thinking? I’ve known I loved you all along but was too blind to see it. Can you ever forgive me?”

Spike moved closer to Rarity as well. “I know one way you can.”

Spike and Rarity slowly inched closer to one another, each closing their eyes. Their lips were just a horn's length apart...

WHAM!

The patio doors flew wide open, and a violent gust of wind flooded the restaurant, causing many tables to flip over and ponies to lose their wigs.

Once the dust cleared from the dimly lit room, everypony looked in the direction of the patio to see who could be responsible for such an act. Surely it had to be robber, or a diamond dog, or even some colts causing trouble.

No. The mare they saw standing in the doorframe rendered everypony completely stupefied. It was Fluttershy, the most gentle and shy of all mares in Ponyville. Her pink mane was completely disheveled, her eyes were hell-bent on Spike and Rarity, and her mouth formed the most twisted-looking smile anypony had ever seen. The cart of frogs was still attached to her back.

“Spike,”

“You’re,”

“Going to,”

“LOVE ME!”

...

Fluttershy glared directly at Spike and Rarity. “Spike! You treat me like a pushover, and you’ll get the onceover! If I can’t have you, nopony can!”

Fluttershy grabbed the frogs in her cart and began throwing them towards the couple. In a panic, all the other couples present in the restaurant commenced into a huge crush, everypony trying to reach the exit as fast as possible.

Rarity closed her eyes and placed her right hoof over her forehead. “Another jealous lover? This is..."

"the,"

"worst,"

"POSSIBLE,"

"THING!”

Rarity fell onto the floor, since no sofa was available for her to fall on at that time.

In the meanwhile, Spike was dodging the flying polliwogs like it was a game of dodgepie. Fluttershy was inching closer and closer to the pair.

Rarity began to cry. “Spike, whatever shall we do? There is nothing more powerful than a covetous, out-of-control mare who wants her stallion, or in this case, dragon!”

Spike looked down at Rarity. “There is one thing. When I was a little hatchling, Princess Celestia once told me that the most powerful type of magic resides within us all. A magic that conquers all others, no matter if one is an earth-pony, unicorn, pegasus, dragon, donkey, anything.”

Frogs continued to fly by as Fluttershy mercilessly bombarded them.

“Spike, what is this magic you speak of?” asked Rarity desperately.

Spike grabbed Rarity’s hoof. “We have one thing that Fluttershy lacks,”

"True Love.”

Spike nuzzled Rarity’s snout. “Rarity, our true love for one another is the only thing that can save us now.”

Rarity’s eyes grew incredibly large. “Oh Spikey-Wikey, of course!”

Rarity placed her hooves around the dragon and pulled him closer to her. Rarity pressed her lips against Spike’s, her tongue nuzzling across his in an attempt to gain entry. Spike blissfully accepted, and together their tongues danced around in perfect sync. Now more than ever they completed one another.

“HAHAHA smooching isn’t going to save you, my pretties!” said Fluttershy in a very deranged voice.

The lovers broke the kiss to see Fluttershy still there, now closing in on them. Nothing had happened.

“Rarity... that was incredible, but why didn’t it work? The Princess said...”

Rarity put a hoof over Spike’s mouth. Her eyes began to water again, and a small grin crept onto her face. “But it did Spike! When you ignited the fire in in my heart that is love, you ignited something else as well.”

Rarity looked down at her necklace. The heart shaped fire-ruby had begun to glow a magnificent red.

“Spike, when you gave me this fire ruby out of the kindness of your heart, you created the magical connection between us that is true love.” Tears began to form on Spike’s eyes as well.

“When you rampaged through Ponyvillle as a huge dragon blinded by greed, and you had taken me hostage, it was only the symbol of our true love that saved us when you saw it glistening around my neck.”

Spike and Rarity were both crying happy tears profusely.

“But I so foolishly did not realize this connection between us until tonight.” Spike and Rarity held onto one another as if they would never let go. “You made me realize how much I cared about you, that we were meant to be together, that... I...”

Rarity took a deep breath. “Wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Suddenly the fire ruby on Rarity’s necklace flashed a bright crimson red. It pulled itself off Rarity’s neck and began to float in front of them. It continued to pulsate bright red flashes at a faster and faster rate.

Fluttershy had finally reached their table. She flew above them and now had a gigantic smile plastered on her face. “I have you now my pretty! Your dumb gemstone isn’t going to save you! If you’re not going to love me, you’ll love NOPONY!”

The couple huddled together as Fluttershy lifted a hoof as if to strike, but then an enormously bright flash filled the entire room.

And everything was dark.

...

Light poured in through the windows, and birds chirped in the trees outside. Spike slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring at a dark green ceiling. He was laying in a bed with a hospital gown on, and his head felt like it had just been bucked by Applejack. He looked around and realized he was in a hospital room. Then it suddenly hit him, “What? Where am I? Where’s Rarity? Is she okay? Did Fluttershy...”

“Good morning Spike. Calm down, everything is fine.”

Spike looked to his left. A tan colored unicorn stallion wearing a white doctor’s suit and glasses walked through the door. “You took a real blow down there in the restaurant, it was quite noble of you to take the hit for your marefriend.”

“Hit, what hit? I don’t remember any ‘hit’”

The doctor smiled. “To be honest, I’m not really sure. I just know you received some blunt force trauma to the head, and that you're going to be alright. But there’s somepony here that does know exactly what happened.”

“Rarity!” said a now excited Spike.

“Yes, I believe that’s her name. She and another mare named Miss Twilight Sparkle, as well as many others, have been worried sick about you. Miss Rarity and Sparkle haven’t left the hospital since you arrived four days ago.”

Spike scratched the scales on his head. “I've been out four days huh? Wow.”

“Yes, she and Miss Sparkle were mortified you were never going to wake. I assured them you would, but they still cried for almost the entire duration of their entire stay. They couldn’t stand to see you like that. I better go inform them of your awakening. They’ll be wanting to see you.”

The doctor turned around to walk out the door. Spike felt elated that Rarity and Twilight were coming, but he still needed to ask the doctor something first. “Hey doc, can I ask you something?”

The doctor turned around to face Spike again. “Yes, Spike?”

“What do you yell at somepony stealing your cheese?”

The doctor was taken aback by the inappropriateness of the question, his mind garbled by what the possible motivation behind it could be. “What kind of question is th...”

“Nacho cheese!”

Though too weak to laugh obnoxiously, Spike chuckled at his own joke. The doctor on the other hoof was not so entertained.

“ha... ha,” said the doctor quite sarcastically before turning around and exiting the room.

“Kids these days,” he muttered under his breath whilst shaking his head.
...

Several minutes passed, and Spike sat in anticipation of Rarity and Twilight’s arrival. A few thoughts crept through his head. How are they going to react? When am I getting out of here? What happened to Fluttershy? Now all of a sudden the uncertainty was killing him. He needed to know the aftermath of the bright red flash.

“SPIKEY-WIKEY!” said the muffled familiar voice of a very familiar mare.

Spike looked to his left and saw what to most ponies would be a somewhat disturbing site. Rarity and Twilight stood side by side in the doorway. Their manes and tails were in complete disarray, and their eyes were totally bloodshot from obvious lack of sleep and crying. To Spike, however, they were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

Rarity galloped up to Spike again and planted a passionate kiss on Spike’s lips. Twilight joined her at the bedside. “Oh Spike, I thought we lost you! When the cart fell on you and you would not wake, I feared the wor...”

“Hold on, what happened to me?” interrupted Spike.

“You mean you don’t remember anything?” sniffled Twilight.

Spike fell into a daze. “I remember making out with the most beautiful mare in all of Equestria.”

Rarity’s cheeks turned as red as Big Macintosh’s coat. She bent down to give him another deep kiss on the lips, then regained her composure. “Darling, you saved my life! When the fire ruby flashed for the final time, it knocked Fluttershy unconscious. At the time she was flying directly above with the cart of frogs still attached. Fluttershy fell to the side, but the cart came straight for us!” Spike felt his eyes begin to water. “You jumped in front and shielded me, taking the full force of the blow.”

“Yes Spike, and it’s a more wonderful thing than you realize. Your thick scales protected you, but something like that hitting a pony would have catastrophic consequences.” said Twilight, who had sprung a few tears herself. Twilight rapped her hooves around Spike and kissed him on the head, as a mother would her foal. “Thank you Spike.”

Spike picked up Twilight’s hoof. “No, Twi, thank you! If it weren’t for your thoughtfulness, I wouldn’t be sitting here in the hooves of the...” Spike looked up at Rarity, “mare of my dreams.”

“I can most certainly attest to that!” said Rarity as she nuzzled Spike’s snout again. Twilight blushed slightly at the compliment.

“I’d probably be back at the library reshelving a book or something.” joked Spike. The three joined claws and hooves in a large hug, all sharing a laugh together.

Then a sudden realization came to Spike. “Wait, what happened to Fluttershy? You said she fell! Is she hurt? Is she in trouble?”

“I’m fine, Spike.” said a high-pitched, benign voice.

Spike’s head shot left towards the direction of the noise. There was Fluttershy, standing in the doorway. Like the other two mares, her mane and tail were pretty out of whack. She walked up to Spike’s hospital bed and stood between Rarity and Twilight.

Spike initially felt fear at the site of Fluttershy, since she had tried to kill him the last time he saw her. However Fluttershy’s bright smile and usual calm demeanor quickly erased any thoughts of that.

“Spike, I’m so sorry! I completely lost control of myself in anger and jealousy. I don’t remember doing it, but I didn’t mean to, honest!” said Fluttershy sincerely.

To Spike’s complete surprise, Twilight gave him an angry look. “Although according to a certain orange mare who wears a stetson hat, you manipulated Fluttershy into a false sense of a romantic connection. Apparently you ‘sweet-talked’ her as practice for your date. For that, I am very disappointed in you Spike.”

Spike looked down. “Oh yeah that... I guess now I’ve learned my lesson. Nopony should play around with another pony’s feelings, especially a pony as kind and gentle as Fluttershy. They might hurt that pony in more ways than you’d expect. I’m sorry Fluttershy, no hard feelings?”

“No hard feelings.” said Fluttershy before giving Spike a big hug. Twilight’s frown returned to a grin.

Rarity looked over at the pegasus. “Fluttershy here spent a day at the hospital for minor scratches and bruises, but after she was released, refused to leave. Fluttershy was just as concerned for your health as Twilight and I. She only left the hospital once these past four days, and only because Twilight and I were in no condition to do so.” Rarity winked at Fluttershy. Fluttershy in turn looked at Twilight, and they both giggled. “She ran out to get something of monumental importance to me. No, to us!”

Rarity pulled a small box out from behind her. She sat down on the floor below Spike, whom now was very perplexed. “Spike, ever since you arrived in Ponyville with Twilight, you have shown me the most kindness a mare could ask for. At first I did not see it, but Nopony ever showed me true love like you did down in the restaurant. You taught me love knows absolutely no bounds. Our difference in species? Completely irrelevant!”

Spike’s eyes grew very large. He now fully understood where this was going. Rarity lifted his left claw as she continued, “I want to spend the rest of my days with you, my Spikey-Wikey. I know it is not custom for mares to do this but,”

“Spike.”

“Will you marry me?”

Rarity opened the small box, and inside lay two golden rings. One a hoofwring for Rarity, the other a smaller digit-ring specially made for Spike. Each had Love Knows No Bounds imprinted on the edge, and attached to both was exactly one half of Rarity’s fire ruby.

The hospital bed was soaked from the excessive tearshed of everypony. Spike, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight all sobbed together as one overjoyed group of best friends.

Spike placed Rarity’s left hoof in his own claws. “My lady, there is no other pony, nor dragon, nor donkey, nor buffalo, nor anything that I would rather be with, than you Rarity.” Spike placed Rarity’s ring on her hoof and pulled her close. “Of course I will marry you.”

Spike was about his own ring on one of his left claw, but dropped it on the bed when Rarity threw her lips at his own. Together they caressed one another in a fit of extreme passion, Rarity nearly lifting Spike out of the bed. Their tongues moved around in each other’s mouths, trying to fill every crevice possible.

After several minutes, they were forced to break the kiss for air.

“After the fire ruby saved us from Fluttershy, it split into two perfect halves,” said Rarity while she picked up Spike’s ring and placed it on his claw, “I believe each represents a piece of our heart to the other. Now at times when we are forced apart, we’ll still have something to take solace in. When we grow old and frail, and one us passes away, they won’t truly be gone. Oh Spike, I’ve always wanted to get married. I am so excited for the wedding.”

Spike could only think one thing though,

Awwwww Yeeeaaahhhh.

...

“Mares and Gentlecolts! We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two hearts bound together by the most powerful of magics. The magic of true love. We celebrate the union of the mare Rarity, and the gentledrake Spike.” said Princess Celestia.

Spike and Rarity stood across from one another on the altar, with Twilight as Spike’s best mare and Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie as Rarity’s bridesmaids.

“The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable. May we have the rings please?”

Angel the rabbit, selected as the ring bearer since no other young male was available, brought forth the wedding rings on a small red pillow. Princess Celestia used her magic to place Rarity’s ring on her left hoof, and Spike’s ring on his left claw.

“I know pronounce you mare and dragon!”

The crowd of ponies standing alongside the center aisle erupted into applause as Spike kissed his bride. Rarity and Spike walked side by side down the central red carpet amidst much cheering from all Ponyvillians who came to witness the wedding.

The newlyweds exited the castle and stepped into the streets of Canterlot. Rarity threw her bouquet of white roses into an awaiting crowd of mares, who proceeded to buck one another for sole ownership of the flowers.

Rarity and Spike took off running down the central Canterlot avenue, out the front gate, and into Celestia’s magnificent setting sun on the horizon. Nopony, dragon, changeling, diamond dog, nothing - could separate them now.

…

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today, two very special friends of mine each learned their own valuable lesson about love and friendship.

One of those friends believed that another one’s affections towards her were unjust due to a difference in species. But when confronted, she learned that true love can come from just about anywhere.

My other friend presumed that playing with another pony’s feeling was okay. While this may be alright for some ponies, others may be more sensitive, and could get hurt more easily. Boy did he learn that the hard way.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

…

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!”

“Hey Spike, what’s up?”

A devious grin was plastered on Spike's face. “Oh I was just camping with Rarity in the Whitetail Woods!”

“Really? Cool! How was it?”

“It was in tents!”

Spike and Rainbow Dash fell over laughing until they could laugh no more. Spike gave a wink to nopony in particular.

Everything was going to be alright.

...

"Heh heh," said Spike as he put down his quill, "this story I wrote is AWESOME."

THE END

A/N: I wanted to kick my own ass when writing the "Nacho cheese" joke. That was just painful.