Snap Shot, photojournalist for various online publications, dropped his plastic tray on the equally plastic table nearest to the parking lot and took a seat in front of it. The tray held his dinner—three Gutbuster tacos, a side of chips and a little cup of mild salsa. It had been a long day of doing his job and now it was time to treat himself to something that passed for food before it hit midnight and he returned to his home office to start going over his footage.
Thankfully, he’d made it to Swell Taco right before they closed. The lights in the restaurant's interior were shutting off behind him, leaving him in peace to eat at his own pace and enjoy the evening’s light breeze. Murmuring his thanks, Snap attacked the chips, wolfing them down as fast as he could scoop the salsa out of the tiny plastic cup. The salt and spice were like music to his taste buds and filled that gnawing pit in his stomach.
“Dang, I needed this.” Snap sighed, munching the last chip even as he unwrapped the first of his overstuffed tacos. It was dripping with sour cream and dribbling excess sauce from the beef, lettuce and cheese alike plopping down on the spread wax paper. “These are so bad for me, but I don’t care. I take my little slices of bliss where I can get ‘em.”
“I know right?”
Snap Shot startled, jerking upright when a blue woman with a long ponytail and a wide, expressive grin landed on the plastic bench opposite of him and dropped her own tray full of Gutbusters on the table. She yanked one of her taco wrappers off and tilted her head to chomp the thing clean in half. Her cheeks puffed out as she chewed for a moment, then she swallowed the whole load without a hint of gagging.
“Uh…” Snap fished around for something to say, “...yes?”
“Mmm! I love these things. Tacos are a gift.” The blue girl smiled, wiping her mouth clear of sour cream with the back of her hand. “Mname’s Sonata, by the way. Nice to meet someone else that appreciates the art of the taco.”
Snap Shot snorted and took a bite of his Gutbuster. It did, in fact, taste as good as it looked. He swallowed his reasonably smaller bite down then held out his hand. “Snap Shot. It’s a pleasure to meet you, miss. Grabbing a late dinner yourself?”
Sonata tossed the second half of her taco into her mouth and shook hands. “More of a snack for me, really! I just love these things.” She chuckled around her mouthful. “Not a lot of people come out to get them right before closing, other than me.”
“The secret is,” Snap lowered his voice to a playful stage whisper, “they put more in the tacos at night to get rid of the extra food before clean up. But I’m not usually out late enough to take advantage of that.” He hefted his high performance camera from where it sat next to him with its huge zoom lens. “Work kept me busy, so I’m here winding down before I sit in front of a computer to edit my pictures until dawn.”
“Neat.” Sonata wasted no time, opening her next taco and savaging it with another couple of chomps. “So, what do you take pictures of?”
Snap Shot smirked and set aside the camera so he could polish off his Gutbuster. As he chewed, he weighed his options for how to answer. It was a question that came up frequently and he had a dozen half truths memorized for just such an occasion. The answer depended on where he was and who was in earshot. At the moment, he was effectively alone with Sonata, and she seemed like someone that wouldn’t be problematic about it. Popping the last bit of his taco into his mouth, he decided on the truth. “I’m a photojournalist for several blogs and online publications...ya know, like magazines? Right now, I’m making ends meet by writing up columns for Real Rump Reviews dot com, which means I take pictures of butts and then I write about said butts. I’m sure that sounds absolutely amazing.”
Snap opened his next taco. “At least I think it sounds amazing.”
Sonata dropped her elbows on the table, propping her chin in her hands and watched Snap eat. “If you like what you do, then it’s all good, right?” She grinned sharkishly and glanced at his camera. “Since we’re taco buddies, let me tell you my opinion on butts. I think butts are cute! Fish don’t have butts, which is fine, but humans have butts and that makes humans with cute butts slightly better than fish.”
“Uh…”
Sonata giggled. “I like butts that you can see from a far way. When people made pants, it made seeing butts harder than when everyone wore togas, but as time went on, pants got better, and you got to see the whole butt, but covered in cloth! Instead of the little half moon you get with the old toga style.” She sat back again and opened her third sacrificial meal item. “Then skirts got invented, and it was togas all over again. But…” Sonata drew out the word while her fingers curled around the hard shell of her prey, “...then skirts got better. They got tighter and you could see that whole ass outline again.”
“You’re kinda weird, you know that?” Snap Shot raised an eyebrow but kept munching away. “What do togas have to do with anything?”
“Forget the togas, we’re past that. Your species is past that. You got tight short skirts now. We living in the future!” Sonata giggled again and halved her last taco. “I mean, take my butt for example. I’ve used it to drag hundreds to the bottom of the sea! History remembers the sirens for their singing, but really? Those sailors wanted the booty the sweet tunes promised! So picture me there, singing out on the rocks and swinging my hips, then BLAM! Ship hits the rocks, the whole thing sinks and I rack up more points then either of my sisters.”
Snap Shot nodded passively as if any of this made any sense, continuing to eat his massive tacos. The girl he’d done a shoot with earlier had been eccentric, to say the least, speaking in third person the whole time while doing magic tricks in her underwear. Today the world had simply decided that he was supposed to play the straight man to these girls’ crazy wacko schtick. At least both blue girls were hot.
Sonata, finishing off the last of her meal, crumpled up the wrappers and slid her tray aside. Then she stood up on the bench and smoothed down the wrinkles on her shirt and curve-hugging skirt. It came down to about her mid thighs, and the hem was comfortably loose, easy to move around in. The important part was how it clung to her hips and backside enough to show a hint of her pantyline where it climbed out of the cleft between her cheeks. Sonata spun on her heels and planted herself firmly before tossing her hair around and looking back at her fellow taco enthusiast. “Check this booty out. This is the ass that sunk the Titanic.”
“Er...that was a glacier.”
“Yeah right.”
Snap swallowed beef seasoning flavored spit, and licked suddenly dry lips. This...this was a booty he could write several columns about. He could wax poetically about its heft and the way that skirt tucked in a little under the initial swell to emphasise that perfectly curved expanse. This was the kind of booty that sold partnership clicks and views by the digital truckload. Hell, this ass could get a couple hundred blog readers to fork up their credit card numbers if it graced a pop-up. This was the ass he’d dreamt of. He was Ahab, and this butt was his White Whale.
He blinked a few times, turning that metaphor over in his mind, not really sure if it fit. Then he decided it didn’t matter. What really mattered was getting pictures of this blessed booty, and that required two things. Ignoring his last Gutbuster, Snap Shot reached down into his camera bag and pulled out a sheet of paper covered with a load of legal text and a red pen.
“That is a nice butt. I’d love to get a few pictures...if you’re willing?” Snap grinned, all teeth and greed. “I’ve got a standard release contract right here, all I need is your John Hancock...and your explicit permission, of course.”
Sonata laughed and sat down on the table hard enough to rattle the mostly empty trays. She kept her butt pointed at Snap Shot and twisted around to take the paper and pen from him. “Sure thing, mister. You have my permission to photograph me all you want. Just be happy that these days I don’t do the whole drowning people thing. Once humans invented tacos, what’s the point? If I drowned you all, who would make me more tacos? Who would I get to share my love of tacos with? My sisters don’t give a flying fish taint about them!” She clicked the pen and a second later slid the paper back over to Snap Shot.
“Sonata Dusk, hmm?” Snap smirked, slipping the consent form into his bag and standing up. He grabbed his camera and twisted off the lens cap. The parking lot was illuminated by several bright, crisp, street lamps. They threw harsh shadows out over the cars, but created a pleasant soft lighting in the eating area. The plastic tables reflected the light back up, dulling the shadows even more, the whole effect making Sonata’s ass clearly defined even from several paces away. He checked his battery life and memory. He had plenty of both, which meant it was time to let out his inner artiste.
Snap Shot dropped to one knee and took aim, his finger beating on the shutter control like it owed him money. He shot Sonata as she sat, twisting to look back at him. He captured the soul of her rump in his camera, tracing the curves the way he knew the eyes of his readers would. He took rapid shot after shot, catching Sonata’s movements in thin slices. She stood again, bending at the waist, hands on her knees and that all important butt pointed right at him. He could feel that soft firmness through the viewfinder. He could picture the muscles working under that glorious layer of fat, moving flesh and bone, skin and cellulite like waves upon the ocean.
He stepped to the side, acquiring a new angle, eating up the interplay of light and darkness on Sonata’s hips. From here the slight rise of her pantyline was tantalizingly obvious though the material of her skirt. A thin line of shadow tracing over her side and down until it vanished where the cloth of her skirt spread over the cleft. Sonata might be a weird blue woman with a frightening appetite for mexican food, but all those calories settled in the right places. Still the shutter clicked, slice after slice of time caught and preserved for posterior posterity.
Sonata stood up fully and took a step out into the air, letting her raised leg dangle there for a moment before she lowered herself gracefully to the concrete on both feet. She bounced on her heels, biting her lip and moving with exaggerated sway. She watched Snap Shot crab walk around her with his camera, smiling at the silly human like she would at a playful cuttlefish. Throwing out one hip, she swept up her long ponytail in her hands and piled it up on her head, peeking through hair and her arms at the camera.
“This is fantastic!” Snap laughed, letting the camera click on auto as he moved closer and around Sonata again to get a clear shot of her backside. “This is the best chance encounter I’ve ever had.”
“I can make it even better, if you’ll give me something I want.” Sonata purred, arching her back.
Snap stopped where he was, red flags going up in his mind. “Uh...the contract is for rights to your image only and its use. Offers...of other services are not a part of it.” He cleared his throat loudly. “Not that I’m saying no, just that that part is totally separate from the agreement. Besides, I don’t have any money on me right now. You’d be paid after the use of your image online generates traffic.”
Sonata snorted and swayed her hips, pointing her ass at the table they recently vacated. “I don’t want money. Give me your last taco, and I’ll let you take pictures of the whole thing, without the skirt.”
“But we’re in public.”
“And?” Sonata rolled her hips like she was using an invisible hula hoop. “I don’t care about that. I just want that taco, and I’m willing to reward you for it.”
Snap Shot took a deep breath in through his nose and held it for a solid thirty seconds. He let it all out in a rush. “Okay. It’s yours.” The woman spun around again, flashing teeth that looked sharper than they had any right to be, and fell on the last remaining taco like something out of one of those nature shows during Shark Week. It happened in the blink of an eye, one moment there was a whole, wrapped, taco, the next there was torn paper and bits of corn tortilla shell strewn across the tray. Sonata lifted her head a she swallowed the remains, her throat working it all down. For a long, beautiful moment, Snap didn’t know if he was turned on or terrified.
Sonata sighed gratefully, sprawling herself on the table while little lapping waves of pleasure radiated out from her middle. Tacos hit the spot better than literally anything else in this world or the last. She lay on her belly, curving her spine to push her ass into the air as she reached back to grip the hem of her skirt. She might be a terror of the deep inside the body of a human woman, but she was a terror of her word. She lifted her skirt, lifting the material up her legs and over the massive lump of butt this body was blessed with, letting her blue cheeks kiss the wind.
The camera clicked, the lens zooming in on every minute detail. Snap Shot didn’t consider himself particularly religious, but here in the presence of perfection, he felt a little bit closer to God. He took another deep breath and a dozen more photos. “Nice thong.”
“Thanks.” Sonata murmured, rolling onto her side and tucking her knees on the edge of the table so that her butt hung just off. She smiled at Snap and slapped her cheek, leaving a hand-shaped darker blue spot and making her rump jiggle and sway. She ran her fingers down to where her butt became her leg and grabbed the flesh there. Sonata narrowed her eyes seductively and lifted the meat out of the way for an instant, showing off her choice of comfortable butt floss before it slammed back down to send out more ripples and waves. “That good enough for you, mister?”
Snap Shot hammered on the shutter trigger, catching each pants tightening moment on digital film. He wanted to document each and every wave that rolled over those hills of blue grandeur. He dropped into a crouch, taking a handful of low angle shots of this strange angel before he finally let the camera go slack in his hands. “Yeah...yeah, that’s enough. I might need to change my pants now. Thank you, miss, for showing me the best ass in town.”
Author's Note
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^Snap Shot's session with Trixie!
