Twilight Dragonkle

by averageamazingme

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Spike, Comedy
Length: 10560

Generations ago, a mare gave in to scaly temptations. Twilight wakes up to find her magic opened the potential of her draconic heritage. Several melted toilets later, Twilight visits the Dragonlands to learn more about herself and her family.

Fevers, hoarding, and throwing up the strongest acid any toilet has ever seen. These seemingly innocuous symptoms (okay, maybe not so much the last one) are the telltale signs that Twilight Velvet recognizes as part of the family medical history. There was a strange branch of the family tree that had been handled discreetly. But the time for such discretion is over, Twilight’s symptoms aren’t responding to the usual treatment. It’s time to explore that branch, learn from it and bring her life back to a new normal.

This is the story of Twilight and her secret dragon heritage.

Amazing! Cover Art By: Anonpencil

Published 2018-07-28 18:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-06-10 02:29:00 UTC

When a filly loves a dragon...

“Spiiiiiike!” Twilight called weakly, her throat burning as she lay in bed. She felt miserable, even out of the sheets she felt hot. And although it wasn’t unusual for her to fall asleep with a book or two on the bed, she had an unmanageable pile around her.

She heard the sound of claw on crystal just before Spike entered. As soon as the door cracked open, Twilight sprang to her four hooves, wings open and mantling at the threat of the small dragon approaching her hoard.

Spike’s eyes widened as he took in the scene. “Uh, you okay there, Twilight?”

She looked down at the books strewn around her, confused. Why had she thought of this as her ‘hoard?’ “I-uh, need some help.”

Spike looked down at the books again and Twilight caught herself growling. “Uh, did you just growl?”

A sudden lurch in her stomach and her ‘hoard’ was momentarily forgotten. Lunging for the bathroom, Twilight barely made it in time to avoid vomiting on the floor.

Spike sighed, dismayed at Twilight’s sickness. He tried not to think about how many days in a row she’d woken up to toss her cookies. Tapping a claw on the open restroom door, her called out, “Do you need me to hold your mane?”

Between heaves, Twilight replied. “No...Could you go to Zecora and pick up another stomach tonic?”

He nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him. “I’m on it. Take it easy until I get back.”

“I’ll try,” she said weakly. “I just need to feel better soon since mom is coming in today.”

As she heard the click of retreating claws, Twilight sighed to herself and surveyed the scene before her. The toilet was destroyed, her stomach acid apparently strong enough to burn through the porcelain. Momentarily, she wondered how she had any teeth. Then, she refocused on the current flooding issue as the water started to flood the floor. Was there a spell to repair toilets? She wondered. The only thing that came to mind was the spell she used to unclog the toilet when Spike took a gem-encrusted bowel movement in the regular pony toilet.

Spike’s trip to Zecora’s hut wasn’t ever short, but he felt like he shaved some time off of his record.

Knocking on the door, Spike impatiently hopped from foot to foot. Zecora answered the door and looked down at Spike. “Ah, Spike it seems you are here quite a lot. Is poor Twilight Sparkle still in a bad spot?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, heaving again this morning. And mom is coming to visit!”

Zecora waved him in and gathered items into a saddlebag. “I fear since my potions aren’t doing the trick, I won’t know what to do if she keeps getting sick.” Turning around, she pulled the bag onto her back. “If she wants to be well with her mother and all, it seems I will have to make a house call.”

“Thanks, Zecora.” Spike clambered out the door before her and held it open.

The journey back wasn’t quite as fast as Spike would have liked, but he was really not in a position to complain. Twilight Velvet was just approaching the front door of the Friendship Castle as they drew near.

“Mama Velvet!” Spike called, excitedly. Twilight Velvet turned around and smiled, waving in return.

Spike ran ahead to give Velvet a hug, which she returned with an even bigger smile. She looked up as Zecora drew close and drew her eyebrows up. “Is someone not feeling well? I guess my little Twilight is sick?”

Zecora nodded. “It seems that her stomach is in quite a clutch. Perhaps she could use a motherly touch?”

Heading in, Twilight Velvet pursed her lips. “Certainly! She may be a princess, but she’s still my little filly.”

Twilight Velvet knocked softly on her daughter’s door.

“Zecora?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

Opening the door, Velvet stepped in. “It’s me, honey. Zecora is here too. And Spike.”

The zebra and dragon came in behind Velvet. Spike sat on the edge of his basket bed, ready to spring up and get whatever the mares needed. Velvet drew a chair over to the bedside and sat.

Zecora approached the bed to look Twilight over, but couldn’t make it to her over the pile of books. As soon as her hoof touched the topmost book cover, Twilight lunged forward and bit her on the fetlock.

“Ow! There’s no good in biting the hoof that cures. Do that again and the pain will be yours!” Zecora admonished.

Twilight’s hooves flew to her mouth. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to.”

Velvet set her mouth in a thin line. “I know I raised you better than that! Now I’m going to move these books off of the bed. You keep you mouth to yourself.”

Velvet lit her horn and did just that. Twilight looked a bit twitchy, but she held herself in check.

“Sorry, mom. I didn’t want to be sick for your visit,” Twilight said.

Velvet shook her head. “Don’t be silly, of course you didn’t. How long have you been sick?”

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. “I’ve been throwing up for a few days, but lately I’ve been burning up as well.”

Spike piped up, “And hoarding books on her bed. She jumped up and nearly bit my head off this morning.”

“Spike!” Twilight Sparkle started to admonish, but Velvet interrupted.

“Hoarding? Fever? And vomiting? Oh no.” Velvet put her head in her hooves.

Twilight Sparkle, Zecora, and Spike all looked at Twilight Velvet.

“It seems this might be familiar to you. If you would please tell us what is it you knew?” Zecora asked.

Velvet drew her face up slightly so that her eyes were over her hooves. “You’re going through ‘that time’ just like I did.”

“Mom! I hit puberty ages ago! Don’t make this weird.” Twilight Sparkle moaned as she put her head in her pillow.

Velvet shook her head. “No, not that change. Your dragon half is coming in.”

“What?” Twilight, Zecora and Spike all said at once.

Twilight Velvet looked away, her front hooves drumming on the edge of the bed. “Well, to be more precise, your one-eighth dragon blood is kicking in.”

Twilight Sparkle looked aghast. “My great-grandfather was a dragon!?!”

“Hey, you say that like it’s a bad thing.” Spike said defensively.

Twilight moaned. “It’s not, I didn’t mean it like that. But if I’m 1/8th dragon, that means my great-grandmother f-fornicated with...”

Twilight Velvet interjected, “She...dallied with a dragon, yes. She was quite young and had an adventurous side, a bit like me when you think about it.”

“But ponies and dragons aren’t the same size.” Twilight Sparkle pointed out. “And don’t tell me you ever had...relations with a dragon!”

“You watch what you say about your grandmother, dear. And no, I haven’t. Although from what your grandmother told me he was like a pony in a lot of ways. Even his length was comparable. He was a younger dragon, slightly taller than an average pony.” Twilight Velvet replied.

Spike’s cheeks turned bright red and he looked away, whistling. The image of a pony conjugating with a dragon and his mental image of the kind old mare he’d known were just...irreconcilable.

“I just...wow.” Twilight Sparkle seemed at a loss. “Wow. Probably could have left some of that out.”

“Well, I wanted to make sure you understood this wasn’t some mountainous beast that came over, plucked her up and plundered her booty,” Twilight Velvet explained.

The awkward silence that ensued led Velvet to shrug, not entirely convincing anyone that she was even remotely contrite.

“Uh, well what do we do? Is she going to molt? Well, more than just her wings?” Spike asked.

Zecora rifled through her bag in reflex. “Many a treatment I did bring, but for this I think I have nothing.”

Twilight Velvet nodded. “Well I will have to order some antacids from the dragon lands to counteract the fiery stomach acid problem. We can get you into an ice bath to normalize the temperature until you get used to it. The hoarding, uh, that’ll be more of a long-term problem. Your father had quite a time managing my quill obsession. Writing adventure stories was our solution. Although I still have trouble throwing away an old quill.”

Twilight slid out of bed and leaned against her mother. As they headed to the bathroom, Twilight whimpered, “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Velvet sighed. “Honestly, I never thought it would come up. My change was less troublesome than my mother’s and much later.”

Twilight lit her horn to open the bathroom door. Instantly, the glow went from purple to fiery red and then to actual flames shooting towards the crystal door. Thankfully, the door was only lightly scorched.

“Um, you might want to hold off on using magic for a little bit. Just wait until you feel a little better,” Twilight Velvet advised as Spike and Zecora looked on, bewildered.

Author's Note

AU because, and I quote, “Spike is actually useful in this story.”

Draguncle

The brown-scaled head reared back in shock and roared. Spike darted forward and flared his wings to cover Twilight. A gout of flame consumed the smaller dragon, but Spike withstood the attack. Twilight managed to avoid the flames thanks in part to Spike’s intervention as well as sliding down the boulder she’d thrown herself over.

The pair made a break for the ridge. Twilight tried gathering enough magic to teleport, but only succeeded in casting a tube of flame around her. Luckily, it protected her from another spurt of flame launched by the dragon she’d spewed on. The flames became a vortex for a moment before dying out. Twilight and Spike reached the top of the ridge and headed over, ready to slide down the side and run into the forest. A semi-circle of fire blocked their descent and the dragon landed in front of them. It flared its wings and bellowed again.

Twilight decided to let her horn go up in flames again. Aiming a shot at the dragon’s chest, she fired a stream of flames. The torrent hit the dragon with enough force to send him back a few steps. Unfortunately, Twilight couldn’t keep the unintentional flames going for more than a few seconds.

“How dare you—“ The dragon began, only to be cut off by her attack.

“Would you stop—“ Fire.

“If you’re finished with this—“ Flames.

“Now I’m really starting to get mad—“ Another gout of magic-induced immolation.

“For Ember’s sake! I’m a dragon!” The dragon pointed out rationally. “I could belch flames hotter than this.”

Spike mantled his wings and launched himself into the air. Speeding straight for the larger dragon’s face, Spike yelled back, “Oh yeah? Why don’t you try picking on someone your own species!”

The dragon caught Spike in one claw. “What in Ember’s name is this about?” The larger dragon roared. “Wait, aren’t you Spike?”

Wiping the soot off of his wings, Spike sighed in relief as he realized he wasn’t about to be crushed. “Yes!“

“Well you might have mentioned that earlier instead of running off!” The dragon roared.

“When were we supposed to explain anything? After the first blast of fire or the second?” Twilight asked, her tone bewildered.

The dragon set Spike down next to Twilight and shrugged. “I thought I was under attack by another dragon or maybe even a wyvern! And why is a pony trying to bleach my scales with her puke?”

“Uh, Sorry about that, Princess Twilight hasn’t been feeling well,” Spike explained.

“Ponies can spew acid?” The dragon asked, confused.

“This one can, apparently. She’s part dragon,” Spike said.

Twilight examined the dragon she’d inadvertently puked on. It was a large young adult male dragon, about the size of a full-grown elephant. His scales blended in with the muted dark browns of the landscape. The scales of his face were shinier, likely as a result of his acid wash. His eyes were emerald green, although a bit puffy and irritated from the accidental acid exposure. Those green, irritated eyes turned to her.

“It’s not everyday that a pony surprises one of the dragonland border dragons. I would report you to the Dragonlord, but I’d have to admit to basking on the job." Impressive, that a dragon of such a size could look so sheepish.

"Yeah, kind of hard to explain the acid wash otherwise. Bask here often?" Spike asked.

The bigger dragon huffed. "All the border dragons do it, but not when she’s around.” The dragon belched, wafting a wave of brimstone and methane that nearly made Twilight puke again. Noting her displeasure, the dragon shrugged. “Sorry, there’s a group of us who are trying to make that an official greeting.”

Twilight coughed trying in vain to clear her sinuses. “Well, this makes us even.”

The dragon stood and walked a circle around the smaller dragon and pony princess. “Part dragon? I’ll bet that makes you part acid-spewer. There was a small group of them who went off and explored the pony lands a few decades ago.”

Content in his examination, the dragon sat facing Twilight. “None of them ever admitted to falling in love with a pony though. I guess at least one did.”

“I guess so. My great-grandfather. So, I’m one-eighth acid-spewer,” Twilight said.

“A full strength spewer would’ve done more than minor redness and irritation,” the dragon said, indicating his eyes. He seemed to be unaware of the wash his face scales had gotten. “So I’m glad you’re not any more closely related to one. Let me take you to the band of spewers. They’ll probably know a few remedies to solve your lack of acid control.” The dragon pointed a claw back over the ridge.

Nodding gratefully, Twilight turned and made to go back. As the trio descended back into the dragonlands, she slapped her forehead. “Wait, you know who we are, but I never got your name.”

“Crag,” said Crag, simply. The young adult dragon walked on all fours. His steps were surprisingly quiet. He was almost like a big cat.

“Nice to meet you, Crag,” Spike replied, taking to wing. He flew around Crag’s head and landed on a shoulder. Spike let out a belch of his own.

“Spike!” Twilight said, disapprovingly.

“Hey, I’m just following along with the new etiquette,” Spike said, shrugging.

“Smells like sugar and gemstones,” Crag noted. Turning his head to Twilight, he shrugged his empty shoulder. “Jump on up if you want. Just don’t belch at me. I don’t need another face full of acid.”

Twilight was already at a trot keeping pace with the larger creature. She grinned sheepishly as she flew up to occupy his free shoulder. “Deal.”

"You're not going to get into trouble for leaving your post?" Twilight asked, looking back at the stretch of mountain range. As she watched, another large young adult dragon took up Crag's place.

"Nah, For the most part, we're there just for show. We mostly take up a post for the sunning spots. Not many creatures are interested in bothering even a sleeping dragon."

Spike nodded. "That makes sense."

They passed an outcropping of obsidian-speckled boulders and entered an area with several caves around a centrally-located green pool. The smell was similar enough to both Twilight and Spike. Acid. The same kind of acid Twilight vomited up.

"Crag, don't look now, but you've got a pony and a scaly growth on your shoulders!" A voice called from inside the nearest cave. Guffawing, a dragon roughly the same size as Crag walked out and looked the trio over. "I could spit something up to get rid of them for you," The dark-emerald dragon offered.

"No thanks. The pony is a relative of yours." Crag shrugged, encouraging both pony and smaller dragon to disembark. They landed close to Crag's front claws.

The green dragon reared his head back. "Relatives! Ha! As if any self-respecting acid spewer would..." His eyes widened and he looked back down at Twilight. "How many generations back?"

"Uh, three. I'm a fourth generation hybrid. My great-grandmother..."

"Arrhenius! You doddering old pony-lover!" The green dragon called over his shoulder back into the cave. Shaking his head, the dragon looked back balefully. "My uncle is your great-grandfather. He's asleep. Has been for half the season. I'm Salts, by the way."

"If he's your great-grandfather's nephew, what does that make him to you?" Spike asked.

"First cousin, twice removed," Twilight answered quickly. At Crag's and Spike's astonished looks, she shrugged. "I might have looked at a few genealogy books before we came over."

Looking at her first cousin, twice removed, Twilight extended a hoof. "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville and Equestria."

Tapping a claw against her hoof, Salts nodded. "I take it you have a few questions."

"Foremost would be how to stop her from puking on unsuspecting dragon's faces," Crag offered helpfully.

Salts looked up at the border dragon. "Basking again?"

Crag turned a touch more reddish brown. "That's beside the point."

Salts shrugged and turned to the next cave over. "That's simple enough. We have to use a medicine to keep young acid spewers from burning their own throats raw. Our medicine-dragon should have it stocked.”

“Aconite!” Salts called into the cave as he knocked on the front wall. The now-familiar sound of claws on stone preceded another dragon head poking out of a cave opening. This dragon had an eyepatch over the left eye. The right eye seemed to softly glow gold. Rough dark evergreen colored scales glinted dully in the shade.

“Salts, you young bastard. This better be goo—“ Aconite cut herself off with a small gasp. “Oh you wicked thing! Who let a pony in here?”

Salts rolled his eyes. “It’s Arrhenius’ great-granddaughter.”

The single eye widened and looked back at Twilight. “I always assumed his quest for tail in the pony lands was literal. The rumors he’d lain with a pony were always just that.”

“Well, the proof is in the princess,” Salts said drily. “That would also be literal. She vomits acid strong enough to take the patina off of a big rock dragon like Crag.”

Embarrassed, Crag turned his shiny face to the side and coughed.

Aconite stepped out of her cave. In spite of her apparent age, she was smaller than Crag and Salts. She walked on all fours, but was closer in size to a hippo than an elephant. Her snout was crocodilian and her wings neatly folded along her back. With her singular eye, Aconite looked Twilight over closely.

“Open your mouth, young one,” Aconite instructed. When Twilight complied, Aconite held her face with surprisingly gentle claws. “Your throat is a mess indeed. There is a plant that soothes the throat. But we spewers have a special strain that we don’t sell to outsiders.”

Salts shrugged. “She’s Arrhenius’ blood. That makes her one of us.”

Aconite shook her head. “Only partly ours, maybe. She’s still very much a pony.”

Salts sat on his haunches and crossed his forelimbs. “What would you do? Turn her away?”

Aconite didn’t back down. ”Just because a pony has some acid problems doesn’t make her one of ours. Wake Arrhenius. The old fool sleeps often enough. We’ll see if he will admit to fathering a pony.”

Aconite and Salts went back down the first cave. After a few minutes and quite a few disgruntled roars, they returned. Behind them, another dark-green dragon emerged. Mantling his wings, Arrhenius let out a long yawn. His scales were iridescent, much closer to crystal pony quality than dragon scales. Rubbing the sleep from his bright green eyes, he took one look down at Twilight and blanched.

“Oh no,” Arrhenius said softly.

“That’s your reaction?” Aconite asked bitingly.

Salts smothered his snout with both claws, turning away as he had a fit of ‘coughing’ that sounded suspicious.

Ignoring his fellow dragons, Arrhenius looked down at Twilight. “Pony, what was your grandmother or possibly great-grandmother’s name?”

Twilight sighed. “My great-grandmother was Twilight Compass. Her daughter was Twilight Arch.”

Arrhenius sat on his haunches and put his face in his claws. “She-she never told me.”

Salts patted his uncle’s shoulder. “It would’ve been harder back then to get word into the dragon lands safely. Dragonlord Blaze almost didn’t let you and the other traveling dragons back in after you visited ponies.”

“I know. Still.” Arrhenius looked down at Twilight again. “My name is Arrhenius. I am your great-grandfather. You look very much like your great-grandmother. She styled her name differently, though. Twilight Compass was an adventurous mare.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Spike muttered.

Arrhenius glanced at the small dragon. “Tell me you did not give birth to a dragon of your own?”

Twilight and Spike glanced at each other and laughed. Twilight answered, “I did hatch him magically, but nopony quite knows where his egg came from.”

Arrhenius nodded his head. “If it took magic to hatch his egg he was likely abandoned by a young, traveling dragoness. Possibly a first time mother or one who never brooded a stubborn egg. Any dragon in the dragonlands would know to bring such an egg to the Dragonlord to hatch. The scepter can command even an unborn dragon.”

“That’s fascinating,” Twilight said honestly.

“It’s also beside the point. Aconite,” Salts turned back to the medicine dragon, “you heard him. He claimed her as his own.”

Aconite huffed and turned her head away. “That’s all well and good but I’m out of stock. We haven’t had a young spewer in a few seasons.”

Salts groaned. Arrhenius shrugged. “I suppose we’ll just have to gather some more ingredients.”

Aconite shook her head. “If she wants them, she should gather them herself. Maybe she’ll learn something about her heritage.”

Arrhenius waved a claw. “I’m going to go rest my eyes then. Salts, take care of your, uh, cousin?”

“First cousin, twice removed,” Salts replied dully.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Arrhenius turned to Twilight again. “I will talk with you later when I’m a bit more rested.” With that, Arrhenius turned tail and headed back into the cave.

“That was sudden,” Spike noted.

Salts shook his head as Arrhenius’ tail disappeared. “He just doesn’t want to get drawn into going to the old village.”

“What’s so bad about the old village?” Twilight asked.

Aconite and Salts glanced away. Crag shrugged and answered, “The old village is overrun by wyverns.”

Author's Note

Narration, Plot, Structure, Dialogue. Long ago, the four pillars of good writing lived in harmony.

Then everything changed when the Plot Bunnies attacked.

Yeah, I’ve made a few breakthroughs that resulted in a rough outline for a few more chapters. I’m sure this disappoints none of you. ❤️

Why Wyverns?

The air was thick with a smell with which Twilight was familiar. Spike placed the smell, too, his nerves apparent in the way he shifted his wings against his back. Acid, stronger than anything Twilight produced, bubbled and smoked in a large pool in the center of a box canyon at the edge of the dragonlands.

“Why are we here?” Crag asked Salts, his voice low and irritated.

Salts shrugged non-apologetically. “Why are any of us here? It’s a question that stumps dragons and ponies alike.”

Crag smacked Salts’ leg with his tail. Salts moved in time to only take a glancing blow to his hind thigh. “Quit Your psuedo-dragon philosophizing! You know what I meant.”

“Well, you and I are here to help stave off any wandering wyverns. Speaking of which.” Salts turned away and nudged Spike. “Any sign of trouble?”

Spike flapped his wings and shook his head. “None in the clearing. They’re either out or in the caves.”

Salts sighed. “We better go while the getting is good. Crag, keep a lookout on the ridge in case something flies in. Sparkle, Spike and I will gather as much of the herbs around the lake as we can.”

“Ready, Twilight?” Spike asked, checking the horizon. He clenched and unclenched his claws as he shifted his feet.

Twilight glanced at him. “This should be your moment to connect with your heritage. The closest we’ve gotten was that greedy slug who lied to you.” Her muscles were taut, her face closed off and eyes distant.

Spike raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. “Is that what’s bothering you? I’ve gotten to experience a few dragon culture moments. I’ve followed the migration, belly-flopped into lava, and even was dragon-lord for a little bit. I’m in touch with both sides of my heritage. And that’s enough for me. It shouldn’t stop you from getting in touch with yours.”

Twilight wiped sweat off of her brow and shivered for a moment before catching herself. Spike reached out but she held a hoof up. “I’m fine, just another fever spell. I thought I’d left those in Ponyville. The sooner we get those plants, the better I’ll be.”

Spike patted Twilight on the shoulder. “Thankfully we only need nine. Three each. Now let’s get those herbs and get out before the wyverns show up.”

Twilight nuzzled him for a moment before nodding and turning her face to the pool. Snapping open her wings, she led the way gliding down as Salts and Spike followed. On instinct, Twilight went to light her horn before remembering that was still haywire. Reaching her hoof out, she pulled the first plant up, roots and all.

Spike and Salts made their first picks on either side of her. It was agonizing, as the plants had to be fully grown but still bearing flower bulbs. Too young and the potion would be too weak. Too old and the shelf-life would be inconsistent. Aconite’s drilling of this information into their heads echoed in Twilight’s mind.

Twilight realized they’d harvested all the suitable plants on this side but were one short. This only left the other side of the pond. Just as she spread her wings, Crag called out. “Wyverns!”

A dozen two-legged, scorpion-tailed dragon-like creatures erupted from the caves and into the sky before aiming themselves at Twilight, Spike and Salts.

“I have all I need!” Spike announced.

“Me too!” Salts said as he turned tail.

“Just one more. Go and I’ll be right behind you.” Twilight flapped her wings and lifted off, headed over the acid and away from the dive-bombing wyverns.

Twilight dodged between the wyverns. Their size meant they had to slow down or end up in the pond, which made it easier for Twilight to avoid them. Their dive bombing continued unsuccessfully, they couldn’t even manage a good swipe with their poisonous tails. Just as it looked like she might make it, a smaller wyvern took its turn.

Before Spike could cry out, the wyvern rammed its shoulder into Twilight’s back, driving her into the pool.

“Twilight!” Spike cried out. Salts turned around to see the splash of the acid. Rushing back, he grabbed Spike and turned tail again. “No, let me go I need to save her!”

“That’s concentrated spewer acid, Spike. Trust me, a pony couldn’t survive that!” Salts flared his wings and took them both to the sky. He had to maneuver sharply to avoid the attacking wyverns and their tails.

“She’s not all pony and she’s an alicorn on top!” Spike argued, finally wrestling free of Salts and making a beeline for the center of the acid pool.

“Spike!” Salts and Crag called out. Salts shook off a wyvern on his tail and another got hit by a boulder courtesy of Crag. A barrage of boulders followed and Salts looked at a non-plussed Crag. Behind him, Salts could see a line of dragon warriors. The earth movers readied another barrage as the fire-breathers took to the sky to go one on one. Leading them was a young female dragon, her scales under her armor were bright blue.

More wyverns streamed out of the caves as the fire-breathers started overwhelming the original dozen. The battle, and the air, grew heated. Salts chipped in with well-aimed shots of acid directly into wyvern eyes. Dragonlord Ember struck hard and fast, relying on her scepter to blast wyverns only when she was surrounded.

Looking back to the pool, he could see Spike dragging something to the shore. Salts hoped the body wasn’t too gruesome, but he had other worries when a large wyvern tail barely missed his face.

The smaller wyverns flew for the horizon as the big one bellowed at the intruding force. Salts cried out, “Dragonlord, we need to get Spike and Twilight away from the pool!”

She waved a claw dismissively. “Go for it, I’ll take on big daddy wyvern here and make sure he knows whose lands these are!”

Salts streaked across the sky as Ember flew to strike the ‘big daddy wyvern.’ He landed next to Spike and shook him by the shoulder. “Spike we need to go. I’m sorry about Twilight, but...” Salts’ words died in his throat as the mass of purple fur and hair coughed and shook itself.

“Tell me I’m not covered in burns and just can’t feel it,” Twilight said as she stood.

“Well, your mane is a mess and your bag is dissolved, but other than that you look okay,” Spike said, looking at Salts with a jaunty grin.

“Great, now can we...” For the second time, Salts stopped talking. Twilight’s horn erupted in a dark green glow. She blinked and her eyes took on the same hue. Opening her mouth, a blast of dark green erupted and sailed like a cannonball directly at big daddy wyvern. It struck him, seemingly only annoying him until he tried to wipe it with a claw and only succeeded in spreading it. Its eyes bulged as the sound of sizzling scales popped and snapped in the air. The large wyvern howled in anguish as it flew away.

As Twilight’s eyes and horn returned to normal, Salts’ jaw hung open. She looked at him sheepishly. “I, uh, had something stuck in my throat.”

Shaking his head, Salts flapped his wings. “By all rights, you should be a purple patch in that pool. Anything else you can do shouldn’t surprise me, but there it is.” Salts folded his arms and shook his head.

Dragonlord Ember landed beside Salts, with Crag and one of the earth movers. “Report!” She barked.

The earth mover started first. “Dragonlord, the fire breathers are chasing the wyvern swarm and making sure they leave the dragonlands.”

Ember nodded. “Good. Collapse the caves. It’s past time we retook these lands.”

“Yes, ma’am!” The earth-mover signaled his cohorts and the headed off to the caves.

Ember turned to Twilight, then held her snout. “Ugh, you wanna tell me why you smell like...” Ember stopped, eyes widening as she turned to sniff the pool of acid. Half turning back, she raised one eyebrow and shook her head. “You know what, I don’t wanna know. I really need to stop being surprised by you and your group.”

“If it makes you feel better, none of us know either,” Twilight offered with a shrug.

A familiar figure drifted down from the cliffs. Aconite landed lightly and walked slowly over to join them.

Salts huffed. “Were you here the whole time?”

Aconite snapped at him. “Had to make sure you bile-brains got the right herbs. And luckily I did because I wouldn’t have believed you if the Dragonlord herself told me that a pony survived in the acid pond. Only a real spewer could do it. And it used to be a rite of passage. So. Begrudgingly, I must accept that you’re one of us, Princess Twilight Spewer-Sparkle. Or would you prefer Sparkle-Spewer?”

Spike snorted. “Makes her sound like she’s throwing up fireworks.”

Dragonlord Ember laughed. “Well, that dark green blob certainly wasn’t a firework. Looked more like swamp tar.”

Aconite nodded and gently took hold of Twilight’s mouth. Peering inside, she made a series of noises that ranged from curious to impressed. Letting go of Twilight’s mouth, she huffed to herself.

Spike raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

Aconite shrugged, for once at a loss. “Maybe it was her exposure to the pool interacting with her innate magic or maybe it was just a very well timed sequence of events. But her body produced the type of mucus necessary to keep her acid from damaging her throat.”

“So I don’t need the herbs now?” Twilight asked, despairingly.

“Well, it wasn’t a total waste. We got the acid pool back from the wyverns. Should have an easier time now they’ve been driven out,” Salts said.

Aconite nodded, glancing around appreciatively. “Now just be careful not to spit on anything you don’t want dissolving. I suspect your magic also might have returned to normal. Next pony alicorn dragon hybrid I see with the same problem is going into the pond right off.”

Even Twilight had to laugh at the gruff suggestion.

Author's Note

Work. Has. Been. Hell. Had I not been saving for a family vacation coming up in two weeks, I don’t think I’d have made it. Kudos to those working 50+ hours a week. I can barely do that for a month. Then again, my hours were all over the clock. Day shifts, swing shifts, graveyards, all in the same week. Anyway, I managed to put this together before August and since this is my most ~~(inexplicably)~~ popular story, I felt like I owed it to y’all to let it out earlier than anticipated. Still massively later than I wanted, but alas and alack. Hope you enjoyed❣️

The Ties That Dye

Dragonlord Ember took Aconite aside and the two spoke in hushed tones. Twilight gave them the courtesy of turning away and sniffing at her fetlock. The smell was, in a word, bad. Her mane and fur felt wrong and her skin itched. Honestly, she expected her fur to fall out any minute now.

Crag and the earth movers returned. “We collapsed the entrances. Wyverns won’t dig them out and there might still be some things from when the acid spitters lived here.”

Aconite sighed as she returned. “Perhaps some cave drawings, yes. I can’t imagine more than broken tools and pottery would survive an infestation. Speaking of which, it seems we have more than the Dragonlord to entertain when we return.”

Ember laughed. “Yeah, we have another unicorn and a little alicorn.”

Twilight’s ears perked up. “Shining and Flurry?”

“Yep, your brother and the walking, flying natural disaster. Luckily, she’s been mostly behaved. Can’t guarantee your village will still be there when you get back, though, Aconite.”

Aconite stiffened. “We should return quickly. Our Dragonlord has a sense of humor, but there was enough in her tone to suggest truth.”

Spike shrugged. “Well, I mean, she did almost destroy the Crystal Empire.”

Twilight slapped her forehead. “Not helping, Spike.”

The group broke up and headed at various speeds. Crag returned to his own cave; they bid him goodnight and thanked him for all his help. The flight back was, in a word, awkward. Twilight and Spike were at the rear. Spike only near enough to be sociable but not close enough to catch a whiff.

The silence in the cave was broken only by the occasional popping and snapping of the small fire in the middle of the circular space. Twilight sat on one side with Spike; she still smelled of the acid pond. Arrhenius and Aconite took up the other half of the cave. Their reptilian expressions were as neutral as she’d seen on any dragon in any of her trips to the Dragonlands. The air wasn’t tense but neither was it clear.

Arrhenius lifted his head and looked over at his great-great granddaughter. His lips finally cracked into a smile. Glancing to Aconite at his side, he coughed into a claw and nudged her with a wingtip.

She glared at him in return. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet on the trip back. “I don’t believe you mentioned a brother. Or a niece of alicorn descent.”

Seated to Twilight’s other side was her brother, Prince Shining Armor. Between his hooves sat a still-exuberant yet subdued Flurry Heart. Shining coughed. “Uh, it’s nice to meet our great grandfather and his, uh, I mean. It’s nice to meet you both.”

Finally, Aconite sniffed the air, shook her head, and stood. Turning to a wall of herbs and jugs, she started mixing something together. “So when do we throw her in the acid pond?”

Shining’s hooves wrapped around Flurry protectively. “Uh, maybe we wait until she starts throwing up acid first? If she ever does? I mean, I never have.”

Aconite eyed him with a twinkle in her otherwise expressionless eye before turning her attention back to her work. “Acid spitting is strongest in the female line. That Arrhenius passed the trait on is impressive. That he passed the trait on to a pony is miraculous. It should’ve gotten weaker as each generation passed, yet Twilight’s alicorn magic seems to have strengthened her acid abilities.”

“So there might still be a worry with Flurry developing it?” Shining asked.

Aconite shrugged without turning around. The aroma emanating from whatever she was doing had sweet and nutty notes. “There is the potential. And if you ever sprout wings as well, I wouldn’t rule you out either.”

Shining laughed. “I’ll rule me out. My wife and daughter wear the wings in my family.”

Twilight batted him playfully with a wing. “Oh, and my sister,” he added.

He sniffed the air and coughed. “Uh, Twily, not to sound rude or anything, but you might want to take care of that, uh, smell.”

Aconite and Arrhenius both glanced at him and then each other. Arrhenius placed a claw over his mouth but didn’t quite cover the laughter bubbling out. Turning her head away, Aconite muttered something about tender pony sensibilities.

Twilight sighed. “Not sure they have baths like we do in Equestria, Shiny.”

“Oh, right,” Shining said.

Arrhenius controlled himself enough to speak. “There is a hot spring not too far from here. I don’t know what the acid pond would do to your fur, but it does have a tendency to give scales a green tint. It’s a mark of pride, but then again we’re mostly green hued anyway.”

Twilight eyed him sidelong. “You might have mentioned that earlier. Green and purple is Spike’s thing, not mine.”

Turning back around, Aconite presented Twilight with a gourd filled with a viscous liquid. Taking it in her magic, Twilight subtly ran a diagnostic spell. “Shampoo?”

“I suspected, given your scent when you arrived, that ponies preferred scents more akin to flowers and fruit. Our band of dragons bathe in special scented sands, the acid pool really is more of a one time thing. Too much moisture cools us to an uncomfortable degree.”

“Thank you,” Twilight said.

Aconite shook her head. “Not necessary. The Poison Chief of the Acid Spitters doesn’t much hold with gratitude. It is expected of me to serve my family.”

“Well, you deserve it anyway. I know accepting me wasn’t easy,” Twilight said.

Aconite laughed, a short harsh barking sound. “Well, you deserve it anyway.” She turned to Shining and Flurry. “And if either of you desire that courtesy, you know where to earn it.”

Shining gave a strained smile. “I think visiting is enough.”

“Oh, I don’t think a visit is enough!” Shining said as he sank into the smallest hot spring.

The springs ranged in size up to one so big it could fit several elephant-sized dragons. Arrhenius, Aconite and Salts opted for the nearby hot sand baths. Flurry looked at the pools dubiously.

Twilight glanced at Shining, lifting an eyebrow and subtly shooting a look at her niece. Shining glanced and laughed. “She’s at the phase where she isn’t quite sure about water bigger than her bathtub.”

“Should we help her?” Twilight asked.

“I find the easiest way for her is to let her figure out for herself unless she’s not responding at all.” Shining Armor dunked his head under.

His sudden disappearance startled Flurry. The little alicorn toddled up to the edge of the pool. Her horn was shining brightly and her eyes scanned the water. When Shining resurfaced, he shook his mane, inadvertently splashing Flurry. Stamping her hoof and letting out a shriek, Flurry charged at Shining and leapt into the pool to splash him. Shining made sure she got her buoyancy right and let her doggy paddle around in the warm water before turning back to keep Flurry and Twilight in his sight.

“So are you washing up or what?” Spike asked as he floated by on a Celestia-inspired ring floatie.

“You didn’t tell me the water was ready! No sense in getting shampoo in the hot springs. I’ll be right back.” Twilight lifted the gourd and walked over to wash herself in the buckets Spike provided.

She rinsed, lathered, rinsed and lathered one more time for good measure. When she was clear of suds, she sighed at the tingly clean feeling and lack of sharp acidic smells. Trotting back out to the hot spring, Flurry spotted her first and gurgled something that sounded like her name.

Spike laughed. “Did she say tie-dye?”

Shining chuckled. “I think she meant Twiligh...” his voice trailed off as his gaze fell on his returning sister.

Spike stuffed a claw in his mouth to stifle his first reaction. The floatie spun him away and he quickly course corrected to continue his staring.

“What? Did I miss a spot?” Twilight asked as she leaned over to look at her reflection in the spring. “AHH!”

“This looks like one of Discord’s practical jokes,” Spike said, his shoulders shaking and his voice cracking with what sounded suspiciously like laughter.

Flurry pointed a hoof and repeated her earlier assertion. “Tie-dye!”

Twilight’s coat, mane, and wings were all colored in purples, greens, whites, yellows and many shades in between. The overall effect was much like a tie-dyed shirt. Still staring at herself, Twilight recovered slowly and decided to hell with diplomacy.

“ACONITE!”

The dragon in question emerged from the sand cave. She was half-covered in sand and had a crankier expression than normal. This expression changed dramatically and rapidly. Her furrowed brow and narrowed eyes shot up and opened wide, respectively. Then her cheeks ballooned out almost cartoonishly large before she made a half-choking sound that she covered with one large hand. Finally her eyes dropped to the ground and she kicked at the rock beneath her.

“I-uh, well, in my defense, I’ve never had to make shampoo for a creature with skin, fur and feathers. That particular blend does wonders for scales,”

Spike and Shining turned away so as not to incur Twilight’s wrath. They made similarly muffled sounds. Flurry Heart was admiring the colors and even ran a hoof through Twilight’s multi-hued fetlock.

Taking a deep breath, Twilight reined in her emotions and picked up Flurry Heart. As she hugged her niece, Twilight glared daggers at the still-bashful Aconite.

Arrhenius finally poked a sand covered head out lazily. “What’s going oh-hahahah! Nice dye job, Aconite!”

The potioneer turned around and decked the older dragon in the snout.

Author's Note

What? Updating this story within a week and a half since the last update? Is that even allowed?

Well, it’s here so I suppose this is a possibility that I should have seriously considered earlier. I do have ideas for this story, we’ll see how interested folks are in them. Still want to keep it light hearted. Much luv

The Importance of Being Burnished

Twilight sat in the shaded comfort of the common area of the acid spitter village. Her dragon tribe before seemed very small. Then again, she’d only met three of them. Aconite’s speech about the rarity of passing down the spitter genetic traits belied a bustling and even diverse group of dragons living together as a community. To Twilight’s knowledge aside from special occasions, large groups of dragons didn’t often live together. Yet here they were. Most females in the village were acid spitters. Many males were spitters, but at a rate almost half that of the female population. The young dragons were a mix of the earth, fire and spitter types, with a set of water dragons that looked exactly alike. Twilight examined them from afar, intent on finding any differences when a twinge of pain shot through her head.

Twilight was just about to see if Aconite had some sort of cure for what promised to be a killer headache when the potioneer appeared by her side.

“The water twins are fully recognized. Their mother accidentally spewed on both of them when she was sick. Neither of them showed any ill effects. They behaved quite a bit better after that, though.” Aconite passed her a pony-sized cup of something bitter smelling and green.

“I thought you had to go through the pool,” Twilight said, taking the cup in both hooves and looking into it.

Aconite grinned. “Fully grown female acid spitter. It was...a lot of vomit.”

Twilight brought the cup to her lips but caught a stronger whiff of the stuff. She glanced at Aconite sideways. Aconite caught the expression and sighed. “It’s for headaches. It shouldn’t turn you strange colors but if for whatever reason it does, we will eventually get you back to your natural purple.”

Twilight flapped her multi-colored wings and giggled. “Thank you. But how did you know?”

Aconite shrugged. “It happens every so often that those exposed to the pond catch a little something. Call it what you will, it usually passes in a few days.”

Twilight wondered idly if she’d ever get the hang of telling Aconite’s mood. Certain tells were obvious, Spike did had similar body language especially with his wings. Then again, Twilight figured, Aconite would probably be exceptional even for an acid spitting dragon.

Sniffing the cup again, Twilight tried to keep her expression neutral. At this point she was sure she had Aconite’s grudging respect so she wasn’t altogether worried about the cup’s contents. Twilight sighed and took a drink. It was as bitter as it smelled. “You have a knack for holding back on information.”

Aconite laughed, a sound more like a blast than a chuckle. “No creature ever shares everything they know. And I know enough to forget more than some ever learn.”

Aconite sat next to her and watched the dragons playing in the late morning sun. Twilight took a longer drink and gritted her teeth afterwards. Aconite idly played with a small piece of wood in her claws. The silence that fell between them was amicable. As the wooden bit slipped between green claws, Twilight thought about how different Aconite acted now. She still had a bite to her words every once in a while, but there was something, grandmotherly to her.

“Are you and Arrhenius...together?” Twilight asked.

The wooden bit clattered to the rock they used as a table. Quickly, Aconite grabbed it, but not before Twilight could see the flower carved into it. Aconite’s face took on a darker green hue. “Arrhenius and I do have a history.”

Twilight chided herself silently for making the atmosphere awkward. “I suppose even dragons have complicated relationships.” She finished the cup of headache remedy and passed it back to Aconite. “Thank you.”

Aconite took the cup firmly in both sets of front claws and sighed. “Arrhenius has always been secretive. There’s a part of himself that he hides away. I thought when we became a couple that I could ease into his deepest confidences.”

“So he wasn’t always so...” Twilight drifted off, suddenly unsure how to word the question. She picked her quill up and fiddled with it nervously.

Aconite flapped her wings. “Lazy? I did peek at your notes. If you do write about us please keep in mind Arrhenius is an exception. Dragons have enough of a reputation for hoarding and sitting around in caves. Arrhenius has an atypical personal schedule,” Aconite said charitably.

“He’s my one big question mark. But the stories he’s telling aren’t personal ones.” Twilight set her quill down.

“We had children and yet, well. I guess I can see part of what he was hiding now.” She turned her gaze to Twilight, who nodded and tried her best sympathetic smile. “And I probably wouldn’t have been as open as I thought I was.”

“You wouldn’t have approved of him...consorting with ponies?” Twilight asked.

“Not at that time, no. I wouldn’t have understood. I still, frankly, don’t. Not fully. Let me know if the headache returns.” With that, Aconite stood to leave. Before she did, she turned back. “If you want to see Arrhenius at his best. Three hours before dawn on that ridge.” She pointed to the top of a nearby peak.

Before Twilight could respond, Aconite turned and left. She stood and called after Aconite, whose tail just vanished. “Wait! You have kids?”

Salts ambled up, stretched his wings and nudged Twilight with one. “C’mon, cousin. Let’s go for a walk.”

Obliging, Twilight set her writing implements in her bag she borrowed from Shining and followed the dark emerald dragon. They followed the sandy path that encircled the ring of caves. The acid pool in the middle of the village was as still and green as bottle-glass. The sun beamed down, the direct heat keeping most of the older dragons near their caves. In spite of that, the path they were on seemed mostly shaded by the cliffs.

“Where are we going?” Twilight asked.

“I want you to meet some of my friends. Hopefully Scytodes is asleep.”

Author's Note

Yeah it’s short. Yeah. It’s been a year. Yeah, I’m surprised too. It literally took getting teeth pulled to give me enough time to put this together and tbh I’m in this to finish it. Do I know when that’ll be? No. But I’ll get there. Thanks for waiting 🤟🏾❣️ Also Black Lives Matter and Happy Pride. Byeeeee

Persistence, Plants, and Puke

As dawn broke two weeks later, Spike woke to find that Twilight wasn’t in bed. Venturing down to the kitchen, he opened the kitchen door to an immediate wall of heat. Twilight was curled up on the floor in front of the oven, which was on and open.

Nudging her shoulder, Spike woke her up. “Twilight? What happened to ice baths?”

Sleepy-eyed, Twilight stood and opened a jar of honey on the counter. Downing the contents of the jar, she replied with only a little rasp in her voice. “Got cold last night. This felt better than blankets. How is Zecora doing with the latest batch?”

Spike shrugged and pulled open the fridge. Pulling out a vial of red, glowing potion, he passed it over to Twilight. “Zecora and Mama Velvet said they’ve found a way to refine the process. Zecora said something about some trial and error using it on Starlight. Well, at least I think that’s what she meant. The rhymes can be a little vague sometimes.”

Downing the vial, Twilight looked alarmed for a moment before her mouth popped open and she belched an impressive amount of flame. The scent of honey and spices wafted strongly around the warm kitchen. “Oh, excuse me.” Twilight’s cheeks turned a bit rosier than they were before.

“Well, I’m going to try and go to the school today.” Twilight announced. “I’ll see you in the evening.”

That evening Twilight entered the castle and before Spike could return with a tray of cookies and a numbing potion, she disappeared. Spike entered Twilight’s room only to find it empty. Scouring the castle, he came across Twilight Velvet, Starlight Glimmer, and even Zecora, but hadn’t found the princess of friendship. Each mare in turn started their own searches. The Castle of Friendship afforded quite a few places to hide.

The real trouble in finding her was just how many separate rooms had their own bookshelves. Spike decided that if she’d had a bad day, she would naturally seek out her happy place amongst one of these bookshelves. Finally, he found her. Not in the main library, nor even the special collections room, but in Twilight’s “important but not important enough for my bedroom bookshelf” personal library is where she was.

Stacks of books once again surrounded her. Spike stood in the doorway, hesitating about entering unannounced. Gingerly, he knocked on the open door. This vain attempt to gain Twilight’s attention failed. The purple alicorn paced from one shelf to another with her back still to the little dragon. Spike knocked with more force.

The sound gained the notice of Starlight Glimmer, passing by in her own search. She came up behind Spike and looked over his head at the scene. She and Spike shared a look and as she looked back at her friend, she knocked her own hoof against the doorway. Again, the gesture failed to gain Twilight’s notice.

Behind them, Twilight Velvet approached. When she got to the doorway, she snorted and made to move past the stymied pony and dragon. They turned and prevented her, and the trio moved back into the hall.

“Mama Velvet, are you sure it’s safe?” Spike asked, his voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

“Are we sure this isn’t more of her hoarding?” Starlight added, her voice in a much more typical horse whisper. “I’ve been snapped at so much it’s like living with a lobster!”

Twilight Velvet laughed softly. “Well, there’s a clause that helps us.” Spike and Starlight groaned at the pun. “For whatever reason, Twilight doesn’t snap at me when I mess with her ‘hoard.’ So, don’t worry your pretty little heads, I’ll take it from here.”

Zecora, who approached when nobody was paying attention, adjusted her satchel and piped up. “A curious gathering, is something amiss? If Twilight is changing, we should look into this.”

Spike sighed, scratching his head-ridge. “Not sure if it’s a change or just Twilight being Twilight again.”

Twilight Velvet entered and knocked over a pile of books. Turning around at the noise, Twilight Sparkle had a deathly glare. Spike, Starlight and Zecora all froze in the doorway. Velvet, on the other hoof, waltzed right in around the books she’d disturbed.

“Sweetheart, you’re not trying to start another hoard in another room again, are you?” Velvet asked with a bit of humor to her voice.

Sighing, Twilight looked at the stacks of books around her and wilted. “No, although I can see how it would look that way.”

Beckoning the others in, Twilight Velvet cleared off a chair and sat. Wincing, she shifted and pulled a quill that she’d missed out from underneath her. Absently, she twirled the quill around in her hooves. “So, how was school?”

Twilight opened a book, turned a few pages and sighed. Setting the book down in another pile, she turned around. “Other than snapping at Pinkie during my “So You Found Out You’re Part Dragon” party, it went okay. Then I vomited through my desk and Applejack sent me home.”

“Well, that could’ve been worse, Twilight. It could have been a lot worse,” Twilight Velvet said. “Now, what are you doing?”

Eyes turned back to the shelves, Twilight scanned the volumes as she ruffled through her mane with a hoof. “I’m trying to research what I can about dragon behavior. Ever since my dragon blood kicked in I’ve been crabby. There has to be some way to relieve that. Spike and I wrote some of the teenage dragon sports and activities from when he visited the dragon lands during the migration. I think I wrote a small section on behaviors I observed. We added to it after the Gauntlet of Fire contest. Now I can’t find it!”

“And it didn’t occur to you to just ask me?” Spike asked as he bent over to pick up the fallen books Velvet knocked over. “What’s the point of having a dragon in the castle if you never use him?”

“Well, usually,” Starlight said, playing with Spike’s ridge-scales, “a dragon in the castle would mean you have a princess or treasure to protect.”

Scowling, Spike set the books in his claws on the table and shooed away Starlight’s hoof. “We do have a princess to protect,” Spike reminded her.

“Yes, but our Princess is also a dragon. Partly.” Starlight lifted a book of fairy tales from a nearby pile. Pulling it open, she turned to an illustration of a dragon atop a castle tower. “So I guess you could say she fills out both roles.”

Sticking out his forked tongue, Spike hissed lightly. This only elicited an eye-roll from Starlight Glimmer. Spike crossed his arms and turned back to Twilight Sparkle. “The book is in the shelf near my bed. I moved it when I realized it wasn’t in the bedroom. When it comes to contests, the office of Dragonlord and molting, we know more about dragons than we did when I first questioned my own identity.”

“Dragonlord Ember did say to write her if I ever had any questions about dragon culture. But, now that I know I’m part dragon, I don’t know if I can wait for her to write!” Twilight said. “I’m also a little worried that dragons just exist in a state of perpetual crabbiness. And Ember is often an example of this.”

“Yeah, well even she learned to reign it in,” Spike said. “Maybe she has a few tips. I’ve never been all that crabby, so this might even be just a lady-dragon problem.” The mares around him all glared for a moment. Suddenly, Spike found himself in an avalanche of books. “Proving my point!” He said, although the words were muffled under the books somewhat.

Zecora stepped forward, around the Spike-pile. “I fear that this knowledge should be sought at the source. Which would mean a trip to the dragon lands, of course.”

Velvet shrugged. “I suppose Zecora is right.” She stood and crossed around to hug her daughter side-long. “With Ember as a friend, it’s easier for a pony to travel dragon lands.”

“Yeah, even seven-eighths of a pony like you!” Starlight said.

Spike huffed as he managed to pop his head out, a spark of green flames erupting from his mouth from the exertion. “I’d say ask Smolder, but young dragons can be a real pain in the scales. That young dragon especially.”

The three mares looked at the young dragon. Spike realized what he just said. “That young dragon! THAT one! Not me!”

Twilight Sparkle shook her head, smiling. Turning, she looked around. “Can I really just leave? I have so many responsibilities! I’m a princess and a principal, not to mention all my friends.”

Starlight came forward and patted Twilight on the shoulder. “Ah, I’m sure we can last a week or two without you. It would give us enough time to replace your desk, at least..”

“Some time spent with the dragons would hardly disturb. Besides, we’re nearly out of that throat-soothing herb,” Zecora said, placing the book in her hooves down on a table. She rummaged through her satchel and passed over one of the last vials of anti-acid potion.

Twilight knitted her brows as she uncorked the vial. “How did we run through that many plants?” She asked, taking a drink.

Zecora and Starlight exchanged looks before Starlight shrugged. “Zecora tried examining a few plants to see if she could replicate the properties or see how well they grow outside of the dragon lands. And we couldn’t get a lot imported here quickly.”

Starlight Glimmer clapped her hooves together. In a flash, she levitated books out of the way to create a safe path from Twilight to the exit. Careful to not ram her horn up Twilight’s backside, she used her head to push her friend towards the exit.

“Okay, okay!” Twilight protested. “Spike, let’s put together a list of necessities for a visit to the dragon lands.”

“Yeah, yeah. Always a list. I wonder if I have the one from one of our earlier trips. Save myself the claw cramp.” Spike continued muttering to himself as he and Twilight Sparkle exited. Twilight Velvet looked at Starlight Glimmer and Zecora for a moment before turning to follow her daughter.

Starlight Glimmer started levitating the book stacks to sort them. Zecora moved to a table to do the same by hoof.

“It seems that we’ll have some time to ourselves.” Starlight turned to re-shelve the first set of books. “Are we really all out of the ... numbing plant?”

“A curious thing to find you coquettish. Perhaps numbing parts is something like your fetish?” Zecora asked, arching an eyebrow.

Starlight Glimmer dropped her pretense and the book she was holding. “Okay, look. It’s been a while for me and I kinda like it rough. I just don’t like the soreness afterward is all.”

Twilight Velvet re-entered and Starlight’s face turned beet-red. “I would have gone a little easier on you if I thought you’d get bruised so easily.”

Starlight stomped a hoof as Zecora laughed silently into her hooves. “I can handle myself!” She protested hotly. “I’m just a little out of practice when it comes to that kind of playing around. I’d heard you were adventurous, but what you can do with your hooves at your age...”

Twilight Velvet laughed into her hoof. “At my age? Well, that’s your mistake. Also, I don’t ‘play.’”

Starlight stepped up to Twilight Velvet and stared her down. “Then let’s get serious. You. Me. Obstacle course. Now.”

As Twilight Velvet nodded gamely, Zecora stood up. “If another race around is your intent, I’ll go and retrieve some more numbing ointment.”

Twilight and Spike flew together down to the inhospitable, rocky wastes of the dragon lands. The contrast between pony and dragon lands was stark.

Every sense experienced the change in its own way. Muted, dark volcanic rock and hellish skies assaulted the eyes. Vapors of pungent gases wafted across the open plains. Their biting smells were strong enough to stick in the back of the throat, leaving a bitter taste in the mouth. Heat radiated from the ground as well as the sun, punishing fur-coated skin. And all around the sounds of far off roars and thundering storms warned the meek and mild to flee.

Spike and Twilight touched down in this hell-scape. Taking a deep breath, Twilight blanched and looked for a good place to get sick.

“Twilight? Oh man, did your potion run out?” Spike asked as Twilight scuttled to a nearby rock.

Just as she heaved herself over it, a scaly head popped up. In surprise, Twilight lost control of her gag reflex and hurled her vile bile right onto a dragon’s face. As the dragon stepped back in shock, Twilight fell onto the rock and continued her acidic yawn.

“Oh geez, Twilight,” Spike said, his face paling. “Smooth move.”

Author's Note

According to an acquaintance, Fetish in Spanish has religious connotations. Allegedly.

Also, y’all mfers who followed, tracked, favorited, liked, commented, and all that Jazz, you guys made this my most popular story on this site.

And I’ll never forgive you for it. :pinkiehappy: