A Not So Strange Beginning
Author's Note: Yo, what up? ...Remind me never to say that ever again. Anyway, if you're here that means either you're one of my older fans here to check out my newest work of not brilliance, or you're a newbie who somehow was interested enough to stop by and check this out. Either way, welcome aboard as I start my first traditional Human in Equestria story. I've done one before, but it was more of a parody to the sub-genre and was a spin-off to my other fics. This fic will be a test at my abilities to try what is probably the most overdone fic idea of all time besides Rainbow Dash getting it on with Applejack. And as a heads up, I plan to be completely realistic here. Everything expressed in here will be an accurate respresentation of my real life self with no addons of any kind. But enough of my pointless rambling, let us begin this uninspired tale.
Life is very stange and full of unexpected things, both good and bad, especially in the kind of day and age we live in now. Centuries ago I bet no one thought a man would ever walk on the moon, a black man would be the president of the nited States, or that a TV show and franchise that has been known to cater to little girls for decades would be a worldwide phenomenon on the internet celebrated mostly by hundreds of thousands of teen and adult males.
That up there is me, Tim Thissen, and I am one of these fans known to the popular culture as bronies. Before we continue, everyone pronounces my last name wrong, so let me say right now that it's pronounced like combining the words tea and sin. Got that? Good.
So yes, I am a brony, a closet brony to be more specific, meaning that while I'd fully admit to being a brony online, in real life I have not told anyone for fear of judgment. Here's a thing about today's society: a majority of the people in it suck. Of course I've thought about revealing myself, but I can't afford to with me still being in a high school filled with judgmental teens and teachers.
There are a few different types of people when it comes to the brony culture in my eyes. There are the bronies, which there are different varieties of, but I'm going to leave it at that. Then there's people who know about bronies and who aren't into the idea, but just let us do our own thing. These are how I wish people could be like. The majority, though, is probably either people who haven't heard of bronies, but just hearing about them will make them think of the idea as gay, or there's people who have heard about bronies and just think we're a bunch of homoes into a show for little girls. Certainly doesn't help with people like Howard Stern spreading around the belief that all bronies are perverts who jack off to pony porn.
The moral of all of this is that people, especially teenagers, are shallow and judgmental. I guess I can't really blame them for the latter half, though. It's just how society has made them to think, no matter how bad that may be.
I know I myself may be being judgmental by saying all of this, but people in my school really are like this whenever I'm around. They're loud, crude, and just flat out annoying all the time. Makes me sick to think just to about it. Besides, everyone's a bit of a hypocrite on one subject or another.
I not only keep my bronyism a secret for the fear of being judged, but I am not a real tough guy. Hell, I've never even been in a real fight. I'd easily get my ass kicked by anyone who wanted to do so.
I really kind of wish I could go somewhere where I could just be accepted without ridicule, but like that'll ever happen. I gotta stop reading so much fanfiction.
I know it may seem like I'm doing nothing but complaining, but I'm really not, these are just my honest thoughts on the world. But I have learned accept these thoughts, seeing as I can't do anything to change them anyway.
But it's not like I have a bad life whatsoever. I have a pretty good life in fact. Neither of my parents are dead, divorced, or abusive. I don't get bullied at the current point I'm at. My family is not poor or going through hard times. I don't even have any major disabilities. All in all, I really don't have anything to complain about. I just don't really like what our general society has come to and that I have to shut it all out just to keep my own sanity.
It's not as if I'm an utter loner, though. I do indeed have friends, not just online friends either, but from my school that I hang out with on a regular basis. They're a bit obnoxious at times, but nobody is perfect and I'd take them over a good chunk of other kids my age any day.
In fact, today, on a Saturday afternoon, me and my friends are meeting up at the movie theater to see the new Dark Knight Rises movie, and I am psyched for this.
For the record, not even my friends know I'm a brony. My family does, and they accept it, except my sister, who just always annoys the hell out of me about it. But yeah, not a single person in my school knows I'm a brony and I plan to keep it that way. At least for now I do.
Back on topic, though. It's currently early afternoon as I sit at my computer. My dad is at work and my mom and sister are out at the mall. I look at my clock to see the movie starts in about forty five minutes and I decide it'd be a good time to get a move on so I can catch the bus and make it to the movies on time.
I grab my cell-phone, some money for my ticket, snacks, and bus fare, and I head out the door, using my spare house key to lock the door behind me.
As I step off of the front porch of my house, I feel my phone buzzing off in my pocket. I grab and pull it out to see who's calling. I look at the caller ID and groan to see it's my mom, calling me just as I expected from her.
I sigh. "Well, here we go." I flip it open and put it up to my ear as I try to not sound annoyed. "Hello?"
"Hi, sweetie." my mom says through the phone. "How are you?"
"Good, good. Just leaving the house and heading to the theater right now."
"That's good. Did you make sure you grabbed the money I left for you?"
"Yeah, Mom. I've got all the money, don't worry."
"Okay, just make sure you don't lose it or your phone."
"I will."
"And be careful walking to and from the bus and while on the bus."
"I will." I repeat, feeling slightly more annoyed.
"And just go straight to the theater and make sure you stick with your friends so you don't get lost."
"I will." I repeat again, now getting from annoyed to irritated.
"And you make sure to-"
"Look, I've got it." I interrupt her. "I've got the money, I'll be careful, I won't wander off, and I'll come straight home once the movie's over. Is that alright?"
"Okay, sounds like you've got it under control. I love you. Have fun."
"Love you, too." I say quickly, wanting to end the conversation as fast as possible. I close my phone and put it away before sighing in relief. "Finally. Geez."
With that little annoyance done I continue my walk to the bus stop. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and all, it's just that while I've gotten older, she has not adjusted herself to match how old I've gotten. I'm damn near seventeen and she still coddles me like a seven year old. It's just going to the movies with some friends. I don't need someone pestering me with a bunch of crap I've already been told a million other times. Ugh. I'm just hoping the movie can take my mind off of this whole thing.
I walk for about ten minutes until I get out of my neighborhood and come up on the nearest bus stop. I take a seat as I patiently await for the oncoming bus. I look at other people who are also waiting around me. They have that look to them that makes you think that they don't have anywhere to go but they probably do. You know what I mean?
The bus comes around five minutes or so later and stops. People climb aboard in a line as they either give their fare or use their bus passes to get on. I give my fare before walking to the mid-section and talking a seat. The people around are your standard bus riders: the couple sucking face in front of everyone, the day laborer heading to his next appintment, a college student headed on to her campus looking for a tutoring session, a group of elderly making their way back to their home, and the annoying guys dressed as wannabe gangsters with headphones shoved into their ears. Just the usual crowd you see here on California buses.
The bus comes to a stop a few moments later to pick up the next batch of waiters. The only one to step on is this somewhat tall guy in a hoodie. He looks to be around his early thirties and while he is a bit tall, he is a bit on the scrawny side. He looks awfully shady as well. He has his hood up over his head, has his face pointed down as to not make eye contact with anyone, and he has his hands in his jacket pockets the entire time, only taking them out to drop some money up front. He takes a seat towards the front of the bus after giving his fare. I don't know why, but that guy makes me nervous.
Just then, my concentration from the guy is broken as my phone rings again. I take it out to see it's my buddy Jacob calling me. He's probably gonna complain about me taking forever.
I answer the phone and put it to my ear. "Hey, what's up?"
"What do you mean what's up?" he yells through the phone. "Where are you? The rest of us are sitting here waiting for you."
"I'm on the bus to get there right now. Don't get your panties in a knot."
"Asshole. Just get down here already."
"Don't worry, man. When have I ever let you down?"
"Do you want me to start counting?"
"Shut up."
While this pointless little conversation of mine is going on, the shady guy from before starts to walk to the front of the bus.
The bus driver gives him an annoyed look. "Hey buddy, get back behind the line while the bus is in motion." The guy next to him reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out a gun. The bus driver's eyes widen as he notices it.
"Just keep drivin' and don't say a word." the guy demands in a low voice. The bus driver does a small nod while he is too terrified to say a single word.
The man then turns around slowly, everyone on the bus oblivious to him. He points the gun upwards and fires it, causing everyone to jump and a few screams to go off.
"Alright, this is a hold up." the guy says.
"Dude, what the hell was that?" Jacob asks.
I cup my hand over my mouth as I begin to whisper. "That was a gunshot dude. Some psycho is hijacking the bus."
"Dude, come on, what was that? Seriously." he says, thinking I was joking.
"I'm not joking, you dick. Some crazy guy shot a gun and is really hijacking the bus."
"What?! Dude, seriously?! Holy shit!"
"What I do?" I ask in both fear and panic.
"Okay, just stay calm, do whatever the guy says, and don't be a hero. I'll get nine one one. What bus are you on?"
"I'm on the-"
"Hey kid, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" the guy asks angrily as he walks over, snatches the phone, and blows it to pieces with a bullet. He glares down at me. "You trying to call the cops on me. you little snitch?!"
I move back a bit. "M-Me? No way, man. N-Never." I stutter.
He eyeballs me for another moment before snorting. "You better not." he turns back as he looks at the other passengers. "And that goes for all of you! If anyone tries calling the police, I'll blow your fucking head off!"
Everyone cowers in fear, making little more than whimpering noises, some stricken in fear so much they literally turned pale. I remain silent the entire time, not trying to do anything else to piss this guy off even more. The girl sitting next to me actually starts weeping and sniffling, thinking that she's going to die here.
The hijacker hears the girl and looks her. He starts getting a shit eating grin on his face as he leans down to her. "Hey little lady, no need to be scared. I won't hurt ya. That is, if you're willing to do something for me."
She looks at him wish a pitiful and scared look. "No..."
"Oh yeah." he begins to move in closer onto her neck, the girl so stricken with fear that she doesn't even try resisting, only keep silent saying no through choked sobs. He backs off as he looks her in the eyes. "You and I are gonna have a good time time, right in front of all these people."
As I look at the site, I no longer feel fear, but a deep rage building up inside me. I can't stand it when men trample all over women, just thinking they can whatever they want.
'I can't let this prick get away with doing this.' I think to myself. 'But the hell am I gonna do? This guy has a gun. He could easily kill me. Ugh. You decide to grow a pair now, Thissen?!'
The guy starts bring his left hand up and grabs one of her breasts as he moves his right hand down towards the front of her pants. "Now we get to the fun part."
Seeing this asshole do that just pushes me over the edge. ‘Ah, what the hell? If I’m going out, I might as well go out with a fuckin’ bang.’
I wait for the guy to pull his head back far enough that I can get a clear shot and hit him with a left hook to his face.
He reels back off of the girl as he grabs his face in pain. “GAH! You little shit! I’ll fucking kill you!”
I don’t allow him another chance to do anything as I send a shot right into his stomach, making him grab it in pain. I use this opportunity to give him an upper-cut to his jaw, sending him back as I grab his legs with all my strength and hoist him into the air before slamming him back down.
I try to go in for another punch to his face, but he stops me as he hits me right in the forehead with the butt of his gun. Once I’m pushed off of him, ke kicks me back with both legs, making me fall on my back. I try to get up, but he quickly stops me as he gets on top of me and puts the barrel of the gun right between my eyes.
He grins down at me in sheer pleasure. “You’ve pissed me off for long enough, you little asshole! Any last words before you blow your brains out?!”
I remain quiet the entire time, not moving as I’m too scared of what might happen. But I remain quiet now from fear, but because I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of getting me to say anything.
He looks at me, confused. “Nothin’? You got nothing’ to say to me?!” I only give him an empty look. He growls before cocking the gun. “Fine! You had your chance! Now go to hell!”
A loud gunshot is the only thing I hear before the entire world around me goes black and in complete silence.
I said I wanted to go out with a bang. Well, I guess I got it.
Author's Note: So, what'd you guys think of that? It is a tad dark for the beginning, but it's supposed to act as a reflection to the rest of the story. I promise it won't be like this the whole way through.
Author's Note: Damn you Fimfiction for making me write another chapter just to get this crap officially published. Anyway, I'm well aware that the whole dying to get into Equestria thing is very cliched, but it goes much deeper than that. I promise that this mess won't be completely cliched the whole way through.
Ever since I can remember I have wondered what it would actually be like when I really die. I guess I should consider myself kinda lucky that my death was so quick and painless. From the second the bullet left the gun and found a new home in my skull I felt I had an out of body experience and like I wasn't even on Earth anymore.
Most TV shows and movies tend to describe dying as feeling very weak and cold and seeing a long, dark tunnel that ends in a bright light. I always assumed what followed after that, depending on the person, would either be some golden gates in a sea of clouds filled with people in white robes and rings above their heads, or fiery mountains of ember with rivers of blood and little, red guys with horns and pitchforks.
But I never see a single bit of any of that. I see the dark tunnel, but it's much more like a dark void of nothingness. There is not a single speck of anything but darkness all around me, which is even worsened by the fact I can't feel any of my muscles.. It seems as if it's just a void to hold me for the rest of eternity to do nothing but sit there with my thoughts until I eventually go mad from them.
But just as I think I'm about to be trapped forever, I try to move my fingers and actually get a response. I start to fell the feelings in my other nerves returning as well. I start to feel around to find that I'm somehow lying in grass. I start to slowly open my eyes as a bit of light shines through them.
After rubbing my eyes from the sudden change in lighting, I look around to find I'm in some kind of forest. I look myself over to find I lost my money, but I still have all of my clothes and glasses. At least I've got the essentials for now.
I pick myself up off the ground in a hurry as I quickly look around my new environment, stunned by what I'm seeing. No sea of clouds or fiery mountains, just a normal looking forest area.
I put my hand up to my head. 'What the hell is all of this?' I think to myself. 'I know it was never clear where people go when they die, but this? Some kind of big forest.' My eyes shoot open as I get an idea. 'Hey, maybe I'm just dreaming. This could all just be one big, realistic nightmare.'
To test this out, I decide to do the one thing that people say is the one clear sign of dreaming: whether or not I can feel any pain. I walk over to a nearby tree and pull a fist back as I slam it into the tree in front of me. I instantly feel a burst of pain in my knuckles as I grab my hand and say a few muffled swears.
I start to calm down as I let my hand go once the pain starts to die down. I move my digits a bit, still a tad sore, but nothing I can't put up with.
'Okay, so this definitely is not a dream.' I think. 'But if it's not a dream, then just where the hell am I?' I look forward and shrug my shoulders before walking. 'Guess the only way I'm gonna find out is walking around until I find something.'
I simply walk, not really looking to go anywhere specific, just out of this forest and hopefully into some civilization. I always think a lot while just walking, and right now I've got hundreds of thoughts flying through my head. What is this place? Why am I here? If I died, then how did I get here? And will I be able to find something to eat? I'm getting pretty hungry.
What? Coming back from the dead and walking through a mysterious forest is hungry work. It's a legitimate thing to think about at a time like this.
I continue my walk until I see an opening poking through some trees in the distance. I start to pick up my pace a bit as I near and come out through the other side. I take a breath of air as I get out before noticing the town off in the distance.
My eyes go wide at the sight of it. It has a fairly colorful and almost story book look to it, as if it were something out of a child's fairy tale. The look of the world actually reminds me of... Ponyville?
I slap myself in the face. 'No! Stop thinking like that! Don't go getting ahead of yourself, man. Just stay calm and figure things out before jumping to any conclusions. You don't wanna start any kind of wars or set off any nuclear explosions.'
I look off to my right to see a musty looking shack that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years. I also see a wheel barrel set next to a hill and an axe set next to a stump where it looks to be where the person living there chops wood.
I decide to check the place out and try to find someone who can tell me what's going on. As I approach, I start to notice just how small the house really is in comparison to me. Heh, maybe I'm in Oz and just landed outside of Munchkin Land.
I smirk at the thought before remembering what I'm doing and knock on the door. Ther's no response, so I try knocking again. I start getting a bit irritated as I continually knock without a response from inside.
"Alright! Alright!" a cranky voice shouts from inside. "Hold your horses! I'm comin'!"
"About damn time." I say under my breath. I hear the door unlock as the owner of the building opens the door and my eyes go as wide as baseballs. The creature before me does much of the same. The door was not answered by a person, but a donkey wearing an extravagant, blonde toupee.
Both of us stare at each other in disbelief before we both let out loud screams. I try to walk back, but stumble and fall before picking myself back up.
The donkey backs up in fear as well. "Ah! It's a monster!"
I put my hands up as I continue backing up. "No no! You don't understand! I'm no monster, I'm-" my speech is cut off as I back right into the wheel barrel and set it to roll down the hill. We watch as it speeds further and further down before smashing into a million pieces upon hitting a large rock at the bottom.
"My wheel barrel!" the donkey shouts.
I look at him with an apologetic look. "Guess that was poor parking on your part."
He is not amused as his face begins turning red and a bit of steam is coming out of his ears.
Suddenly, a female donkey comes out from the other room. "Cranky? Is something wrong, dear? I thought I head screaming, and I-" she stops as she sees me and looks at me in terror. "Good Celestia! What is that thing?!"
The donkey named Cranky turns around to her. "Matilda, stay back and go grab my shotgun. I've got a monster to take care of."
"Shotgun...?" I whisper. My first thought is "what", but my next one is "fucking run!". I already got shot once today. I'm not about to let it happen again.
I quickly turn atound in an attempt to escape, but I trip and fall down the hill, tumbling as I do so. I stop just a bit short of the rock and wheel barrel and I groan.
"Great move, genius." I say to myself. I bring a hand to my face and realize my glasses are gone. I look around frantically for them before spotting the crushed frames of them. I must have fallen on them when I fell down the hill.
I look back to the top of the hill and realize that saving myself is more important than the glasses. I pick myself back up before bolting in any general direction. I'm not the most athletic guy, but you'd be surprised what the human body is capable of doing when in a desperate situation. I don't care where I go, as long as I get away from that literally crazy jackass.
It doesn't matter if my life was threatened by a talking donkey, the only thing I can even think of doing is running right now. But once I believe I'm a good distance away from danger, I stop and take a seat underneath an apple tree. I breath heavily as the effects of all of that running start to catch up with my body. My heart is beating a mile a minute, my lungs feel like they're gonna explode, and my legs are very tired.
After a moment to catch my breath, I start putting my mind to work at what I just saw. 'Okay, that was a talking donkey with a toupee. The other donkey called him Cranky... just like Cranky Doodle Donkey from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.'
I slump my arms and look out at nothing in particular. It doesn't make any kind of sense, but there's no other explanation for what I just saw other than that I'm in Equestria. I had always wanted to go there, of course, I'd have to be crazy not to. But I had always reminded myself that it wasn't real and not to dwell over that. I was firmly grounded in my reality and believed that there was no real Equestria. But there's no other explanation for it.
My stomach interrupts my train of thought as it grumbles. Remembering I am in fact under an apple tree, I get up and pluck one off of a branch. I know this may technically be stealing, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides, one apple isn't going to break anyone.
I begin thinking once again as I eat the apple. 'I'm in Equestria.... I guess my dream really has come true. But what do I do now? I never expected to get this far. If fanfiction has taught me anything, human humans that come here always have much rougher times than those who are changed when coming in. I need to think up a plan to get into contact with civilization without freaking anyone out and causing a panic. But how? Being that I was near Cranky's house, that obviously means I'm near Ponyville. That's at least a good start. Guess I'll go the obvious route and try to find the mane six. I know it won't be that easy, but it's better than nothing.'
Over the ways a bit, an orange farm mare and a large, red stallion work together and harvesting the fruit from the trees.
"Hoowee. This harvestin' sure is goin' well. Right, Big Mac?" Applejack asks her older brother.
"Eeyup." he replies characteristically.
Just then, Applejack stops her working as she hears a noise. She puts her ear out to get a better listen. "Ya'll hear that, Big Mac?"
"Eeyup." he says. "Sounds sorta like some critter's eatin somethin'."
Applejack's eyes narrow. "Some thievin' varmint's tryin' to steal a bite o' our apples." she turns to the noise and motions for Big Macintosh to follow. "Come on, Big Mac."
The two farmer ponies carefully trot to the source of the noise. They peer behind a tree and go slack-jawed at what they see.
They get back behind the tree and exchange nervous look. "What the hay is that thing?"
"Ah have no idea, sis. Ah've never seen anythin' like it before."
"Looks like kind o' hairless monkey, but it's wearin' a bunch o' strange clothes."
"Well, we can't just let it take our apples. We're gonna need to catch it."
"Right. Ah'll get mah rope."
While those two are doing that, I finish off my apple and toss the core away as I continue my thinkng. 'I wonder why I of all people was brought here, and how for that matter. Kind of feels like I'm in a cliche fanfic if I just die and wake up in Equestria. There's gotta be more to it than that. I also gotta remember to play it cool. Don't try to come on as threatening or try to hurt anypony. And for the love of God, don't start acting like a fanboy and let them know about you being a brony. That could be REALLY bad if they find that out. You need to play it natural here.'
My thoughts are interrupted yet again as a rope ties itself around my ankles and starts pulling on me. "What the hell?! Woah!"
I get dragged a bit as Applejack pulls me in with her teeth. "Ah don't know what ya'll are, but ain't no varmint stealin' mah apples!"
My eyes widen and a smile grows on my face as I see who my attacker is. "No way. You're..." I stop myself as I realize what's going on. I may not wanna hurt anypony, but the least I can do is try to explain myself. Or else this may get even worse.
I grab the rope with both hands and tug back. The sudden force makes Applejack fall forward and release the rope. I grab the knot around my feet and get it off as I quickly get to my feet.
Applejack gets back up and glarees at me. "Oh, you wanna fight, do ya?"
"No, you don't understand, I'm-" my sentence is cut off as I feel an extremely hard kick get me right in the back. The sudden of pain is so much that fall over and collapse.
The shock is so much I can feel myself slipping out of consciousness and back into the darkness.
Applejack smiles at her brother for doing a job well done. "Nice goin', Big Mac."
"Eeyup." he replies.
"Now you grab that thing and take it to the barn. Ah'll get the rest o' the girls down here so we can find out just what the hay this thing is."
Big Mac picks up my limp body and puts me on his back as he takes me to the barn as Applejack hurries off to grab her friends and bring them back.
I knew this wasn't going to be easy.