The Core Courier Corps

by locke_jaw

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 6641

A close look at the lives of one of Equestria's roster of filthy undesirables, the elusive smugglers of the Core Courier Corps.

A stallion down on his luck, an unpredictable drunkard, a job gone bust, a risky second chance, and a new threat in the horizon? All in a day's work for the Core Courier Corps.

Published 2018-07-29 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-29 03:50:01 UTC

Equestrian Made

THE GATHERING

The scorching heat of Celestia’s sun rayed down on Lightning Rush like oven to bread. He wasn’t expecting it would be this hot in Nickeragua. Standing on a hidden airstrip in Maneagua, located in one of the city’s chain of volcanoes didn’t help either.

This was not the best day to wear his black leather jacket. The red shirt underneath it had taken to a darker shade of red due to the sweat thoroughly soaking it. Fortunately, he was wearing black pants to match his jacket. If it had been any other color, it would look like he had wet himself.

His teal spiked mane had shrivelled down with all the amount of sweat its absorbing. With a white wing, he attempted to make them stand up again. But they’d all wilt down a second later so he just gave up and combed the strands sideways.

Hiding under the shade of those metal hangars just made it worse, it felt like he’s being cooked alive. Lightning headed out and trotted slowly to the carts parked at the side of the runway. Smokes of dirt appeared on Lightning’s hooves every time he took a step on the flattened ground.

A grunt would occasionally pass by him while carrying packages of crushed garnet all wrapped up in plastic containers to put inside the carts. And from the looks of it, only three of the five carts were left unfilled with the powder.

Lightning approached the lead cart. The small vehicles were positioned in ‘V’ formation, like the way birds do when they fly in groups. Similar to the others, this one was carved aerodynamically to reduce air resistance and gain more speed while flying. It’s made of thin yet sturdy looking wood and was painted all over with a furious color red. From afar, they looked like little rocketships with wheels at the sides.

He was about to reach out a hoof to touch the cart’s texture when a tan hoof suddenly slammed itself down on the small vehicle.

“What are you doing!? It’s hoof carved mahogany! Don’t touch that!” Cried out the owner of the hoof, startling the white pegasus.

“Sorry!” Lightning flinched while finding out who it was.

It was a pegasus, a stallion that was about ten years older than him, probably in his late thirties or so. He has a long brown mane, and was wearing an aviator’s glasses that fully concealed his eyes. His blue shirt that has its sleeves rolled up was damp with sweat, well at least he wore black pants.

He gave Lightning a soft giggle. “Ahh’m just kidding. It’s just spruce, light and firm, perfect for air travel.”

He then rubbed his hoof at the cart’s side. “They also paint it red, to make it go faster.”

“O...kay.” Lightning replied, confused, unsure in what to make of this situation.

The tan pegasus hit his head gently, as he remembered something. “Oh look at me, rushing things.”

“Cruiser, Sky Cruiser.” He introduced himself, raising a hoof towards Lightning in an attempt to extract a hoofshake out of him.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Cruiser.” Lightning replied, returning the gesture. “And I’m-”

“The New Guy.” Cruiser quickly interrupted. “Rotten’ll be arriving shortly. Let’s go wait at the hangar.”

Lightning was sweating profusely now that they’re inside the oven-like. He’s not alone though, Cruiser and the others looked like they had just taken a shower. Inside a building shaped like a tin can, they’re like those smelly sardines those meat eaters chomp on to. Guess that explains the smell here. He thought to himself.

Due to the lack of seats, they were sitting on top of the stacked garnet packages that were yet to be placed in the carts. Sure, they looked cool sitting on top of piles and piles of drugs while waiting for their ‘employer’ to arrive but what if the grunts would suddenly take the packages off their butts, leaving them standing there awkwardly? That would be really embarrassing.

Lightning quickly dismissed the thought. Well, as long as the others are doing it, it’s fine I guess.

“So, what are you an ‘ex’ of?” Cruiser said out of nowhere as leaned in close to Lightning.

“Excuse me?”

“Come on, don’t tell me you came here to Nickeragua just for a measly job like this. ‘Cause if you do, then you’d be straight out lying to my face.”

Cruiser placed his forelegs between his thighs and rubbed them softly. “Not accusing, but I know you’re running away from something. Could be debt collectors, could be the law, or could be the past. So once more, what are you an ‘ex’ of?”

Lightning shot Cruiser an annoyed look. “We just met. Why do I have to tell you anything?”

“To pass the time.” Cruiser shrugged. “At least take a gander. Are you former government official? Merchant? Merc?”

He took a pause, and smirked. “Gigolo? Others please specify.”

Before Lightning could tell Cruiser off, he was interrupted by the stallion in front of him.

“He’s an ex-royal guard.” The voice caught everyone’s attention. It was their employer, Rotten Core.

Rotten was sporting his usual look, a white polo and khaki pants to match. Despite the heat of the sun both inside and out, he doesn’t look affected by it. His black trimmed curls and thick mustache looked slick like always. His yellow fur doesn’t even have a hint of sweat on them, it’s like he just came out from a ventilated room.

“Immediately discharged from service after crashing the Princess’s carriage at the National Dessert Competition. Everyone meet Lightning Rush, Lightning Rush meet everyone. Now let’s get down to business.”

Before Rotten could begin with his briefing, Sky cut him off.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” He hastily said while waving both forelegs to emphasize on how urgent he thinks this is. “I need details, I need details. First is how, and then is then.”

And just when Rotten was about to further explain the story, it was now Lightning who had interrupted him.

“I’ll answer it, it is my life after all.” He answered tediously, sounding like this wasn’t the first time he was asked about it.

“The first answer to your question is simple, DUI. And what happened next was that what you expected. We crashed directly into the display, horribly. Literally bulldozing every piece of pastry that was presented that day, ending the event sooner than usual.”

Lightning could hear some snickering at the back. But he chose to ignore it and pushed on. Whatever to get this thing over with. He thought.

“After that incident, I promised myself to never touch alcohol ever again. Then I fled here to Nickeragua. I guess you could say that I’m running away from my past, huh? My stupid, humiliating past.”

Lightning went silent after revealing the story to the others, staring blankly at the grunts working outside. And with this, Rotten took the uncomfortable silence as an opportunity to continue with his briefing.

“Now that story time’s over, let’s talk about the job.”

“Hang on a sec.” Cruiser interrupted Rotten for the umpteenth time today. “So you crashed a royal carriage, abruptly ended a big event, and denied an immortal’s gluttonous desires all in one day? Why haven’t I heard of that? That’s an awesome crime. Not as awesome as mine though.”

Cruiser turned to look at his employer, who was now getting impatient. “Tell him Rotten, tell the new guy what I’m here for.”

“Then no interruptions?”

“Then no interruptions.”

“Fine.” Rotten groaned. “Let’s get this over with. He is an airship captain.”

“Was.”

Rotten rolled his eyes. “Was an airship captain, until he was caught having an orgy with all the steward mares in First Class. He was then fired a day later.”

“And now I’m here.” Cruiser concluded the tale while looking at Lightning. “Even today the husbands are still looking for me, still worth it though. So Rotten, about that job?”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Rotten retorted, he straightened himself out and took a deep breath. Cruiser, who has known Rotten for quite a while now, knew that this was a sign that he’s just moments away from delivering bad news.

“Before we begin, I have some bad news for you.”

Cruiser cursed silently, he freaking called it.

“Our last delivery has been a bust.” All the ponies except Lightning shouted ‘what’ in unison at Rotten’s statement. Despite all the negative reactions, Rotten still continued. “They were shot down by a griffon patrol just fifty kilometres before reaching the drop zone. And yes. It was indeed, too damn close.”

“If only you were patient enough to wait for my other job to get done instead of letting Griffon Luis fly lead, then we wouldn’t be knee deep in this crap right now.” Cruiser remarked, hints of anger seeped out from his voice.

“We had no choice.” Rotten calmly said. “We’re running a tight schedule here. And that’s not the only reason why the last job failed. Reports from the surviving teams told us that the griffons are wielding a new kind of weapon, one that can easily take our carts down.”

Rotten paused to scratch his chin with a hoof. “But before we can send a few grunts down to salvage the remains and also seek out evidence in figuring out what this new weapon is, the damn griffons already seized the carts along with Griffon Luis and most of his crew.”

He stopped to give everyone a cautious look. “So next time, keep a watchful eye on what kind of weapon this griffons are packing. And also expect the unexpected.”

All ponies remained silent after Rotten’s speech. Doubt was beginning to form in their minds. Morale was completely shattered after that. So once more, Rotten decided to break the silence.

“So what are we delivering this time? Good question. Just crushed garnet, like usual. But because of last time’s screw up, you’ll now be carrying double. So instead of eight hundred kilos per delivery, we’ll have to raise it to sixteen hundred.”

“So...” Rotten gave a soft hum while he did some quick math in his head. “So it’ll be three hundred twenty kilos per cart give or take.”

“Watching out for some mystery weapon is bad enough, but we also have to be as slow as snails too?” One pony said at the back.

“I’ll have my casters crank up their lightweight spell a bit more.” Rotten quickly and confidently answered as a way to at least clear out some of their doubts.

But the damage has been done. What the pony said a second ago has caused a stir among the group. Most of them were now silently talking to themselves. Even though their voices can barely be heard, Rotten still knew what they’re talking about. They’re planning to bail on the job.

“And for those who were still unsure about taking the job,” Rotten raised his voice a bit to get everyone’s attention. “I hope a cut of eight thousand bits each would change your mind.”

Rotten’s offer caused the others to go silent for a second, and then they proceeded to talk amongst each other again. Cruiser, who along with Lightning did not take part in their talk, he just sat there silently while staring at Rotten the entire time behind those aviator shades of his.

“Make that ten thousand bits each and add in a large crate of dynamite and you got yourselves a deal.” He finally said, countering Rotten’s offer.

Save for the dynamite part, everyone got on behind Cruiser’s counteroffer. Although their chatters sounded indistinct, it’s quite easy to say that they will take the job if Rotten will agree to the counteroffer.

“Deal.” Rotten compromised, although reluctantly, to their demand. “Now let’s move on to team assignments. Pick the one you’re most comfortable with. “Cruiser.” He stared down at the tan stallion. “Since you’re flying lead you get to have first pick.”

“I choose New Guy.” Cruiser said while tapping Lightning’s shoulder. “I’ve always wanted a royal guard to watch my back.” He turned to look at Lightning, who was now annoyed at how things had gone. “Balances out the skill ratio too.” He added.

Lightning immediately cast Cruiser’s hoof off his shoulders and looked at Rotten. “Wait, don’t I have a say in this?”

“Sky has a point.” Rotten replied, his voice sounded uninterested about Lightning’s complaint. “Since it’s your first time doing this, you still don’t know the ins and outs of the whole delivery service yet. And if you’re partnered up with the others, you’ll only burden them once things go south. It’s best if you stick with Sky. He can show you the ropes while also take care of things should you screw up, which I’m pretty sure you probably would.”

That last line greatly annoyed Lightning the most. It’s like they’re discarding all his years of experience as a royal guard and just flat out treated him like a mere greenhorn. He went silent throughout the partnering process, even ignoring all of Cruiser’s flippant quipping regarding the situation.

When everyone has now partnered up with each other, Rotten spoke up. “Are you done partnering up?” He asked them. They then responded with a resounding yes, which spurred Rotten to continue.

“Good. Packing will be done today, maybe tonight and the delivery will begin just before the sun rises. Be here before that.”

“So, specifically four?” Cruiser asked.

“Yes, specifically four.” Rotten replied. “Okay, we’re done here. Don’t be late tomorrow guys.”

And with that, everyone got up from their seats and trotted towards the exit. Lightning felt better now that he’s out of the hangar. His clothes may be a bit damp from all the sweating he did but it will dry up eventually once he’s on the air again.

He was just about to spread his wings open when Cruiser caught up to him.

“Hey New Guy!” Cruiser called out. “Me and the others are going down the local watering hole for a cold drink or two. And also to strengthen the nerves and all that. You should come with us, get a little bit of camaraderie going on or something. What do you say?”

“I don’t drink anymore.”

Cruiser gently hit his head again. “Oh right, DUI.” With his right wing, Cruiser snatched out a pack of cigarettes from his pants’ pocket. He bit one of the cigarette butts that were poking out of the pack’s hole, pulling it out with his mouth. He then put the pack back into his pocket and pulled out a small silver lighter.

After a few swipes with his wing’s dexterous feather tips, the lighter produced a small flame. He directed the lighter at the tip of the cigarette, lighting it. Once a wisp of smoke came out from the stick’s end, he then closed the lighter and placed it back in his pocket. After puffing a couple clouds of smoke, he turned to look at Lightning.

“Want one?” He offered, while reaching out for his pack again to hoof it to him.

“I don’t smoke.” Lightning replied.

Cruiser puffed another smoke from his cigarettes. He held the stick away from his mouth with his wing while narrowing his eyes at the stallion beside him. “So you don’t drink and you don’t smoke.” He paused, puffing another one.

”But at least you like mares right?”

“See you tomorrow, Cruiser.” Lightning said before launching himself to the air.

“You too, guy.” After watching Lightning disappear into the clouds, Cruiser shifted his gaze towards the yellow stallion who just got out from the hangar.

“Hey Rotten! About that dynamite I asked earlier!”

THE STORM

Despite the dawn’s cool temperature, Lightning was piping hot. He was furious. It was almost four-twenty in the morning when Cruiser arrived. The other members of the crew were now standing beside their designated carts. Some of them were nodding off but at least they arrived in the airstrip on time.

“You’re twenty minutes late!” He angrily shouted at Cruiser.

When Cruiser got close, Lightning was hit with an overwhelming stench of liquor emanating from him. “Is that cider I smell on you? Are you drinking before our mission?”

“Relax, it’s not mine.” Cruiser slurred a bit as he said so. “Clumsy waitress spilled some cider on me. I was drinking soda, vodka. No. Vodka soda.”

Lightning slapped a hoof to his face. “I can’t believe you right now.”

“Oh worry yourself not.” Cruiser hiccupped before continuing. “I-I’ll take care of everything.”

“Is that a hiccup I hear? Are you kidding me? Are you that drunk already!?”

“It’s not the drinks, we’re in high altitude.” Cruiser said, attempting an excuse for his blatant intoxication. “My brain’s just lacking oxygen, that’s why.”

Lightning dragged his hoof slowly down his face. “Oh Celestia, we’re all gonna die.”

“Geez, what’s up with the attitude? Did you shower in saltwater today or something?”

“Sorry I’m late.” Rotten called in as he trotted in front of the crew. “Had to take care of some business. Is everyone present?”

“Yep.” Cruiser answered on behalf of everyone.

“Good.” Rotten turned to look at Cruiser. “Now Sky, what’s the plan for today?”

Cruiser lit a cigarette first before answering. He slowly sucked the on cigarette. The burning end of the stick glowed bright for a second, lighting Cruiser’s face.

“We’re doing the Luxxinian Maneuver.”

“The what?” Lightning asked. Cruiser didn’t bother to answer his question as he readied himself for the flight. He turned around to look at the others. Their faces eased up a bit upon hearing Cruiser’s words.

“Alright everyone, saddle up.” Rotten ordered before trotting towards the side of the airfield.

Lightning continued to observe his fellow couriers. They now looked much more confident than a moment ago. What the heck kind of maneuver is that? He wondered to himself. And furthermore, why was he not briefed about it? This was not mentioned yesterday. Did it happen before when they’re at the pub? No, that would be preposterous.

Lightning’s train of thought was interrupted when Cruiser tapped him in the shoulder.

“Come on, new guy. Don’t wanna be late now, do you?”

“Ah yes, the open sea.” Cruiser took a deep breath from his nose and let out an equally deep sigh afterwards. “Gotta love that salty morning breeze. Enjoy it while it lasts Newbie.” He said to Lightning without looking at him. “We only get two hours of this in our three hour flight.”

The two has just left the Nickeraguan coastline quietly a couple of minutes ago. Celestia’s sun was beginning to rise up in the horizon. The few parts of the sea that was hit by its rays lit up like sparkling diamonds. Some of the birds who rose early took flight alongside the two pegasi.

Lightning looked at the back of their cart. He’s been doing this for several times since they took off to see if the others were still following them. So far, they’re the only ones who have been flying.

“Why aren’t the other smugglers following us?”

“Couriers, new guy.” Cruiser corrected. “We are couriers.” He grabs cigarette from his pocket and placed it in his mouth. He cursed silently when it was suddenly blown off by the wind. “It’s part of the maneuver.”

“So what is it anyway?” Lightning asked again, determined to get an answer this time. “This Luxxinian Maneuver, what does it do?”

“I can’t really explain it in words, it’s show a don’t tell kind of thing. Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon.”

The two spent an entire hour in complete silence after that. Lightning stared down at the sea below, mesmerized by the calming movement of its currents while Cruiser put on his aviator glasses when the dark sky began to light up. The only thing that they can hear was the sound of the wind whirling in their ears.

Another hour has passed when Lightning noticed that they’re almost there to the Griffon Kingdom. The Kingdom still looked like a small crooked line from where they were standing. But still, it’ll only take them a couple of minutes before reaching the coastline.

Despite the loud sound of the wind in his ears, Lightning heard something. It sounds like snoring. Lightning looked at Cruiser. His eyes were concealed by the glasses so he can’t see if they were closed or not. But his head was slightly lowered down and not to mention the snoring sounds he’s making. But his wings were still flapping so he can’t really be asleep...right?

“Cruiser.”

There was no reaction.

Lightning raised his voice a bit. “Cruiser!”

“What!? What?” Cruiser said, shaking himself awake. “Are we there yet?”

“Did you just fall asleep while flying?”

“No. I was playing a joke on you.” Cruiser stopped to produce a sleepy yawn. “Hah, gotcha.” He said as he pointed a hoof at Lightning.

“You shouldn’t have taken this mission drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.” Cruiser retorted but it only got a flat look from Lightning. “That drunk.”

“You could’ve taken at least drank a few cups of water to sober up.”

“Too late for that though. But do you know what I’d really want to drink right now?”

Lightning flashed Cruiser a mocking smirk. “Cider?”

“Mocha. If I wasn’t doing this job right now, I’d be up on my terrace, basking in the early warmth of Celestia’s sun. Sitting on the bench or in my hammock, but preferably the hammock since its pendulum-like swings add to the peaceful feel of the morning. And in my hoof, a steaming cup of milky coffee goodness.”

“You mean chocolatey coffee goodness.” Lightning corrected. “In its simplest of forms, mocha is a combination of coffee and chocolate. What you described earlier is like a bare variation of a latte.”

Cruise stood his ground. “I’m pretty sure it’s milk and coffee. I’ve been making that brew my whole life.”

“Then you’re pretty much doing it wrong your whole life. It’s a pretty common fact that mocha is made up of coffee and chocolate. Just ask any barista around and they’ll tell you all the same. And I’m honestly surprised that not even one pony corrected you about it. Even a child knows the difference between the two.” Lightning raised an eyebrow. “But seriously, not even once?”

“No corrections are needed if there are no errors present!” Cruiser tilted his head while looking at Lightning. “Are you drunk right now? Because you’re not making sense at all.”

“I should be the one asking that!”

Because of the continued bickering of the two, they didn’t notice that they already crossed the Kingdom’s coastline or the squadron of griffons quickly flying towards them from behind.

“Unidentified aircraft.” A booming voice from behind the cart startled the two pegasi, cutting their arbitrary conversation off. The owner of the voice, the leader of the border patrol was carrying a bullhorn to which he used in making his warnings audible from afar.

“This is the Griffon Kingdom Border Patrol.” The griffon leader’s voice sounded low and calm but because of the bullhorn he was using, it was amplified tenfold. “You are flying in restricted airspace, we order you to land immediately. I repeat...”

“Hey look, the border patrol’s here.” Cruiser said casually. “Guess we have to take care of this first.”

“Oh you’re not changing topics casually when I’m around.” Lightning said, focusing more on Cruiser’s ignorance than the actual threat tailing them. “When we get back, I’m gonna find a dictionary and slap the definition right in your face!” Lightning stopped to take a glimpse at their pursuers.

“But you’re right, we’ll have to deal with this first.”

The two stopped talking to observe the griffons. But these griffons fly smart, they’re constantly changing their positions so that they’d always be located at the pegasi’s blind spots. Even though he can barely see them, Lightning could tell that there’re a dozen of them, probably more.

“Can you get a clear view on them?” Lightning asked Cruiser who was now lowering his glasses down to his muzzle. “Are they carrying some kind of weapon? Or a weird looking contraption perhaps?”

“Hard to see.” Cruiser replied, his eyes still narrowing at the griffons. “They’re still distancing themselves from us like usual. Fortunately, I have flown here for seventy-eight times now. So I already have a good idea on how to fondle these doofuses’s balls with my wing, and instantly crush them when they least expect it.”

“I repeat, you are flying in restricted airspace, we order you to land immediately or suffer the consequences!” The griffon leader has now raised his voice even when using the bullhorn, he was now getting impatient from their stubbornness.

Cruiser suddenly slowed down his speed, prompting Lightning to follow suit. The cart’s speed greatly decreased until it no longer moved in the air. Lightning wondered why they suddenly stopped on their tracks. He looked at the griffon patrol and noticed that they’re moving closer to them now. Although they’re too far tell what exactly, but the griffons seemed to look like they’re carrying huge boxes with a long pole in their claws.

When he decided that the griffons were within earshot, Cruiser moved on to the next part of his ‘maneuver.’ “Hey!” He called out to the patrol, raising his voice so high to make sure that even the farthest one can hear what he’ll say like a chicken.

“Tell that to my face you half-chicken half-pussies!”

Everyone was shocked at the taunt that came out of nowhere, even Lightning. He just looked at the tan stallion with a look frozen in fear. All he wanted was to avoid this patrol as much as possible, not incur their wrath! He wanted to beat out all kinds of crap from Cruiser at that time, but he must focus on the problem at hoof.

“What the-you again!” The griffon leader literally screamed into the bullhorn as he recognized the pony they’re pursuing. “We’ll get you this time! Open fire! Open fi-” He cut himself off as he let go of the bullhorn to grip the weapon with both claws.

“Hang tight, new guy.” Cruiser said while moving the cart again. “We’re flying streams.”

“What did you do!? What did you bucking do!?” Lightning was in panic. No amount of guard training will save him from this disastrous situation: pulling a heavy cart full of drugs with an idiotic alcoholic while being chased by a pissed off squadron of heavily armed griffons! He wanted to keep his cool during this whole dilemma but the adrenaline rushing through his body urged him to do nothing but fly, and fly fast.

“Relax, it’s all part of the maneuver.” Cruiser said calmly. His wings were fluttering like crazy to drag a heavy object away from its pursuers but the demeanor that he’s currently displaying made him look like he was just having a peaceful stroll down the park.

“Now head down that jungle below.” He pointed a hoof to show the panicked Lightning where to go next.

The two made a downwards sloping motion as they swooped into the jungle. They made sure not to make their slope sharp or they’d risk having some of their cargo fall onto the ground, or on their heads.

Just when they properly levelled the cart and were now flying just a few meters above the trees, Cruiser and Lightning heard something. It came from above. It sounded like hundreds of firecrackers being lit up in the same time. It was so loud, thundering even. And then hundreds and hundreds of arrows rained down upon them.

Lightning placed both his forelegs on top of his head in an attempt to protect himself from the arrows while Cruiser had to loll out his tongue while steering the cart left and right, trying to get it from being hit. But the amount of arrows raining down on them were so many that it was inevitable to have more than a hoof full of them hit the cart and its cargo.

“I’ve never seen so many arrows rain down on me before! Is this the new weapon they’re talking about?” Lightning said, still covering his head.

“Could be, could be.” Unlike Lightning, Cruiser looked up to the rain of arrows above him. He grabbed one with his bare hoof like it was nothing. He examined the thin projectile especially its black metal tip that made the entire thing heavier than a normal, he could’ve sworn he saw it from somewhere.

“Ahh!” He cried out as he had just a moment of recollection. “So that’s where it’s from. Here check it out.” He showed the arrow to Lightning who was still riding the cart to safety.

“What now I’m busy!”

“This is a 5mm Iron Gravity Tip. This little thing weighs ten times more than a regular arrow and the only weapon that’s capable of firing this round is the CB34 Pepper Shaker.” He then tossed the arrow away and did a pump with his hoof. “I know subscribing to Marksmares Monthly would be useful someday.”

“Is it bad!? I think it’s bad!”

“Bad for us, good for them. These six-barrelled claw cranked mechanical weapons of Tartarus are capable of firing six hundred rounds per minute! If these babies will continue to ‘pepper’ us with these black arrow tips, it doesn’t matter which part of the cart is hit, what matters is it’s weighing us down with every shot!”

“Oh Celestia. With that amount of arrows they’re showering at us, it’ll only be seconds before they’ll send us down to the ground!”

Much to Lightning’s horror, Cruiser unstrapped himself from the cart and climbed at the back along with the cargo. He did it so with much care to avoid from being toppled over due to the speed they’re currently travelling.

“What are you doing!?” Lightning unstrapped also unstrapped himself from the cart. He then positioned his body at the center to keep it balanced while holding both its wooden pillars like a rickshaw.

“Take the reins for me, will you? I’m gonna do something with the arrows.” Cruiser turned around to face the griffons chasing them, stiffly dodging all the arrows that we’re flying towards him while avoiding to tip the cart’s balance.

“What!? No! I can’t carry this cart alone!” Lightning shouted, not noticing the fact that he’s currently pulling the cart single-hoofedly.

“Sure you can, you’re doing it right now. Also, I tested it earlier and came up with good results.”

“When!?” Lightning did not know why he asked Cruiser that. His mind was in pure chaos right now that it’s just doing random things without his permission.

“Remember when I pretended to sleep a couple minutes ago?” Cruiser stopped talking when an arrow zoomed right past him and landed on a single package. “Look, do you really want me to expand on this or do you want me to take care of the volley they’re hurling at us right now?”

“The volley! Oh Celestia, the volley!”

“Thought so.” Cruiser proceeded to remove the arrows that hit the powdered packages while minding the new ones falling from above. As he pulled out an arrow from a piece of package, it always left a small hole on it. And in that hole, the powdered contents would spill out. Considering that every package (at least at the top side of the cart) was hit had holes in them, the powder would eventually get out from its container and fly along the air, leaving a dusty trail in its wake.

Despite Cruiser’s efforts, more and more arrows keep on hitting their cart. They were so many now that he had trouble catching and dodging each and every one of them. Knowing that the top side was a lost cause, he moved towards the cart’s back end.

It was like a black field of grass, the line was taken straight from Cruiser’s words. The number of arrows lodged into the back side was so many that it would take forever to get them, or thirty-seven minutes at most. Cruiser decided to kick the arrows down hoping to remove a good lot of them. But his kicks only managed to remove the arrows’ wooden rods, and not its tips which was its heaviest part.

“How are those arrows Cruiser!?” Lightning cried out. “We’re not getting any lighter!”

“Only caught five.” Cruiser said. Even though Lightning can’t see it, he still raised the foreleg that held all the arrows he caught.

Before Cruiser could lower his foreleg down on the cart, his other foreleg was hit directly in the joints. The blow was so hard that he immediately collapsed on the side of the cart, greatly tipping its balance.

That was the last straw for Lightning. The constant piling of the arrows on the cart was burden enough. And not to mention, he was flying solo! Until now, the best thing he can do was a slow glide downwards while finding for a spot flat enough to land on. But the sudden crash of Cruiser’s body on the side of the cart took the biggest toll on him.

Lightning gripped the cart tightly and clenched his eyes.

“Brace yourselves we’re gonna crash!”

Cruiser quickly spread his wings open and separated himself from the falling vehicle. “Kid, you’re panicking right now.” He said as he followed Lightning as he zoomed down the surface.

“Take a deep breath while spreading your wings slo-”

CRASH!

The sounds of crushing wood resonated around the jungle. It was then followed by a large explosion of brown smoke. And then, silence took over.

A huge hole was created after the cart punched through the thick canopy of the jungle. The leaves that broke away from its branches gently fell to the ground like snow. Celestia’s sun shone through the newly created hole, highlighting the crash site with its radiant rays. Cruiser came in through the hole and flew towards the wrecked cart.

“Hey kid, you alright?” He said, while poking the downed Lightning. He was relieved when he extracted a groan from the young stallion.

“Told you to open your wings before crashing down, now you got splinters all over you.” He placed a cigarette in his mouth before helping Lightning up.

“Stop or we’ll shoot!” Came the voice from behind.

The two pegasi turned around to see the griffon leader and his squadron pointing their ‘shakers’ directly at them.

“You already did!” Lightning yelled, although weakly at the griffons.

“Yeah, tons of ‘em.” Cruiser added.

“Quiet! Now put your wings and forelegs where we can see them!”

“So much for your ‘Luxxinian Maneuver.’” Lightning said while he painfully forced himself to kneel.

“Relax.” Cruiser grinned. “It’s not over yet.”

“What?”

Like Lightning, Cruiser submitted to the patrol and kneeled as well. “When I say run, you limp out of here and hide to a nearby tree, okay?”

“What are you talking about?”

When Cruiser raised his wings and forelegs, the leader noticed that he’s carrying an already lit lighter in his left wing.

“Hey, give me that!” The leader said as he trotted towards Cruiser.

“Run.” Cruiser said, while throwing the lighter into the pile of packages, lighting it on fire.

Due to his confusion, Lightning just stayed put at where he’s at so Cruiser had no choice but grab him by the collar and drag into the widest yet nearest tree they could find.

“They’re burning the evidence!” The griffon leader said in terror to his comrades. “Quick! Douse it!”

“But the smugglers are getting away! Slowly!” Cried another griffon.

“We’ll get them later! For now, help me extin-”

A large explosion loomed over that part of the jungle. A destructive combination of smoke and flames roared up the canopy hole. In a blink of a second every living thing around the place, especially the griffons died. The blast was so big that Cruiser and Lightning could feel its heat from where they were hiding.

Something fell between Lightning’s thighs, making a wet splattering sound as it hit the ground. He lowered his head to see what it is. His eyes went wide like dinner plates with his discovery.

It was flesh, burning flesh. To be more specific, it was burning griffon flesh. It smells disgusting, like one of those roasted chickens that the dragons love to eat. It was not the only thing that fell from the sky. Other griffon parts fell as well. Chunks of brain, entrails, severed limbs all fell down like gory confetti. It was a horrific sight. It took Lightning almost everything to keep himself from throwing up.

And to make matters worse, Cruiser leaned close to the burning meat between his legs and lit the cigarette in his mouth using the fire. He sucked deep from the stick before leaning back.

“Now it’s over.” He said as blue smoke came out from his mouth.

“We’re carrying a cart full of dynamite?”

“Dynamite powder.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because.” Cruiser held the cigarette stick with his wing.”Who’d want to fly for hundreds of kilometers after being told that they’re carrying enough explosives to level an entire block?”

“Where’s the powder that we’re supposed to deliver anyway?”

Cruiser puffed one before replying. “I had the grunts put them on the other carts, now they’re carrying four hundred. Sssh...don’t tell them.”

“So you did all this on your own, without us knowing.”

“Yep. Told you I’d take care of everything.”

“So this Luxxinian Maneuver of yours by definition: is just stand back and let me do everything?”

Cruiser raised both his forelegs and backed away a little. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t put it that way, you’re making it sound egotistical. Let’s just call it a show don’t tell thing, okay?”

Lightning can’t help but roll his eyes. “Whatever.”

THE EPILOGUE

“Hey boss, what are you looking for?” The grunt asked Rotten. Below his foreleg lied a barrel full of cider. It was much easier to roll it towards the pool than to carry it there.

“I’m looking for Sky and Lightning. They’re really missing out on the party, have you seen them?”

“Oh sure, boss. I just passed by them as they entered your study. Told me they’d be back shortly once their business there is over.”

“And what kind of business would that be?”

“I dunno, boss. That kind of ‘business’ maybe?”

“Really? That kind of business?”

“Maybe.”

“Huh, who would’ve thought they’d swing that way. But if so, what if they’re doing it on my smoothly carved glass globe that was imported from the Crystal Empire? Get the cider to the pool while I get Sky and Lightning.”

“Sure thing boss.”

And with that, Rotten spared no moment rushing towards his study. And once he got there, he opened the door the traditional way, by kicking it hard with his hindleg.

“Leave my globe alone!” Rotten shouted as the door swung open. But instead of the heated stallion on stallion action that he was expecting, he was faced with a rather mundane sight, just two stallions reading a dictionary.

“Oh hey, Rotten.” Cruiser greeted him. “I hope you don’t mind us using your dictionary. Lightning here was just showing me the definition of the word, ‘mocha.’ At first I thought it was a drink made out of milk and coffee. But as it turns out, it wasn’t. I’ve never been so wrong my entire life!”

“Me too.” Rotten replied while scratching the back of his head. “I thought you guys were having sex here!”

Cruiser and Lightning cried in unison.

“What!?”

Author's Note

I don't know anymore...