“I still don’t understand why you’re using a torch?” Spike asked me for the sixth time.

“Because the dark crystals here emit an anti magic field.” I replied, a mental tally marking an unspoken seven.

He stopped and looked at me blankly for a moment, “But you’re levitating the torch.”

“Didn’t we go over this when we were preparing?” I pulled out the small list and looked near the top where ‘brief Spike’ was checked off.

He smiled and twiddled his thumbs, “I-hi wasn’t really paying attention. You were packing so many tasty looking gemstones…”

I sighed. This is fine, at least he’s distracting me from the spooky vibe emanating from the Black Chamber. I just wish he would pay a little more attention, “The black crystals produce a subtle magic negating field. It basically just send out a little energy on all frequencies save the lowest possible ones where basic spells like levitation and voice alteration resonate.”

“Y-yeah,” he said looking at the crystals with more trepidation now audibly gulping. He glanced at me and put on a cute brave face but quickly gave in, “T-Twilight… is dragon fire a advanced spell?”

I blinked like Owlicious did when I tried to explain why ponies kept getting mad at his call. “I don’t know. Dragons are notoriously unstudied and there’s actually a long standing debate on whether or not their fire is a spell at all.”

I cringed when I noticed that seemed to just make him more scared. Too scared to try and test I noted. “You did listen when Celestia gave us instructions to the area the map indicated right? I would hate to get lost down here.” I said trying to change the subject.

He outwardly brightened up instantly, “Oh yeah. Talk to me about useful stuff and I’m all ears.”

“So the functionality of the most deadly thing we could possibly find down here doesn’t count as useful?” I mock deadpanned.

“Hey we’re here!” Spike dodged, pointing at a random crystal. “Woops never mind my bad, guess we had better keep going.” He said quickly, dragging me by my saddlebags farther into the wandering caves.

Some time later we did actually arrive. The Dark Crystals smoothed out at the end of the main cave forming a evil looking door. The door itself was completely natural but I could tell that the enchantment on it was cast by a rather powerful mage. How they cast such a spell in an anti-magic zone failed me.

“Well we found it. But why here?” I spoke more to myself than Spike, “Of all the places in Equestria and beyond why would the Map lead me here specifically? There’s no way anything could be here that could even have a friendship problem!” I grunted at the craziness of it then sighed realizing that crazy was my life now. Long gone was logical deduction.

With gritted teeth, a pointlessly readied spell, a faithful yet terrified dragon clinging tightly to my side and a torch lighting the way I pulled on the handle and opened the door. Only to find another door.

This door wasn’t made of the enchanted crystal though and appeared to just be a normal wooden door. This theory was quickly dashed when I got close and it discharged an electric shock strong enough to hurt but not damage more than a little singe.

Shocking me to my senses I remembered what Celestia said about the dangerous enchantments down here.

"Spike, do you have that orb I gave you?"

He nodded quickly and started to scoop around in his backpack. The orb in question was an artifact Celestia herself crafted. It was, in my opinion, a needlessly complex for it's function but I didn't dare say so to my teacher. It was a crystal ball about the size of a tennis ball with cast iron fixtures on the bottom so it wouldn't roll off if you set it down. For as fragile and difficult to craft as it was all it did was temporarily dispel enchantments.

He handed me the orb and I focused the trigger spell onto the door. A stream of white light, identical to Celestia's magic aura reached out and covered the door. The spell had a similar nullification to the Crystals but instead of harmonizing it disrupted and because of that it only lasted for about thirty minuets

I did this to the remaining four doors and even had to get spike to melt a stubborn old chain. Turns out dragon fire didn’t count.

Then we got to the last door. It was barely a real door, only on this side could I tell it was and then that only because it had a chain with a loop firmly planted into the otherwise seamless crystal. It took both the strength of an Alicorn and a Dragon but we were able to pull the half meter thick door just enough to slip through.

The small circular room on the other side looked like a rather comfortable looking room. It needed more light, cushions and color but otherwise it was a nice room. There was a slot embedded into the wall with a mound of blankets, a writing/reading station embedded into the wall next to us and even some weirdly comfy looking crystal chairs set around.

If spike hadn’t been shaking so much I would have just thought it was a bust. Maybe the Map malfunctioned or something? But I looked down and followed spike’s trimbelling finger to the bed. They weren’t blankets, they were clothes. I felt the color drain out of my face. A dead pony. I had never seen death. Not even that of a fish or rodent, I never had one.

It was completely paralyzing, the mere prospect that I was so close to something long dead causing my brain's functions to stop. Yet, unnaturally, like something was puppeting my body, I found myself walking to the body. My brain kept making excuses: it was just a skeleton, maybe it could tell me what I needed to do here, that cloak did look nice, but the rest of my body was screaming for me to stop. I wanted to say something, I wanted spike to stop me, but some sickly curiosity overcame my mind. I got right up next to it and reached out a shaking hoof. Then I touched it. For a second nothing happened but only for a second.

When I touched it my hoof stopped shaking, only to start again. This time it was being shook. The thing was vibrating, the it stopped. It stopped and sat up. A chill took hold of my body when I realized that it wasn’t a skeleton. It had barely decayed at all.

It’s vacant eyes stared at the blank spot next to me as it chanted a strange series of mumbo-jumbo mentioning the time and date. Well, probably the time and date. It was using the old calendar. Then It’s eyes… opened. It’s coat was just white. It’s eyes were a blue so pale they almost matched.

It’s hoof was pressed against my throat. My back was on the floor.

“Who are you! Why are you here!” The pony screamed in my face with a bowel-loosening demonic voice.

“I-, er… um. Eep.” I could barely think much less for a coherent sentence. It looked into my eyes and internally debated something.

Then it let me go and I gasped for air, coughing at the same time. Spike stood nearby, rigid as a statue and equally as white as the pony's coat. Said pony was staring at it with a hard look.

“Now,” The pony returned it’s attention to me after letting me orientate myself, “Who are you? More importantly who sent you?” It spoke in a jarringly different sweet feminine voice.

“M-my name is Twilight Sparkle, this is Spike. I was sent here by the Map to fix a friendship problem.” I barely sputtered out, praying she didn’t do… anything really.

To my surprise she laughed. It was a hollow laugh, like ones found in Starlight’s village but a laugh nonetheless. “A map sent you? For a friendship problem? That is the boldest lie I’ve ever heard, I’ll give you that.” With that she looked around and got a since of her surroundings. Then her eyes leveled on Spike. “O-ho shit, a Dragon.”

My ears instantly went straight up and my face lit up red. So did Spike’s.

“A little Dragon thing… Traveling with a Unicorn pony… in a Dark Crystal Cave…” She turned her hard gaze to me and I felt my recently re-planted legs start to shake. “You aren’t lying are you?”

I shook my head. Really, what was I supposed to do? This… pony… was crazy!

She glanced around, picked up the torch, and headed for the crystal door. With one arm she opened it with barely any effort, like she was picking up a box of books. I thought she was just going to walk off with us both stunned but after the third door she turned around and said, “You really don’t want to stay in there for any longer than you have to. Trust me. If I was all you wanted then we should really leave.”

I shook my head back to reality and trotted up to the impossible pony, spike doing the same just a little slower.

While we walked I studied her. There was something... off about the way she walked. Like she was hunting for something, a type of trotting I had only seen Zecora walk with. Her mane and tail were both short with spirals of purple and grey. Her cutie mark was obscured.

The silence was broken by our new friend saying, “My name is Joy, Voluptuous Joy but that’s hard to say so just Joy please.” Making me pause with a well-timed wink. “You seem a little quiet Alicorn, something tells me you’re normally more talkative.”

Maybe my slack-jawed expression was a little too revealing.

“Y-yeah. Sorry I just don’t know what to say.”

“I get it, that’s the usual reaction. But normally they’re at the end of a blade.” She said with a thoughtful expression.

Spike lit up and beamed, “Blade, you mean like a sword!”

Joy jumped so high she hit her head on the top of the cave screaming, “Holy fucking shit you scared me!” Making my face light up again. Spike paid no mind however.

“Are you like a sword fighter or a knight or something! It would explain the armor.” I had noticed that too. Her armor. She wore a dark but though looking cloak mostly counseling a set of confusingly slim armor embedded with various symbols prominently featuring a crescent moon.

Still not quite over her scare Joy said, “I had no idea you could talk Drago- er, Spike. Sorry, I thought you were some kind of familiar or something.” I mouthed out the word "familiar". She turned away from him and started walking again. “Yeah, I guess you could call me a sword fighter. But I don’t normally use a sword. Just don’t go calling me a knight. That will get both of us into trouble even if was the case.”

“That is soo cool! If you don’t use a sword than what do you use! Do you actually fight! Can you teach me!”

“Hey, woah. Slow down kid. I use a scythe, yes, and definitely not. You could barely use a dagger much less a sword.”

“She’s right Spike, didn’t we talk about this. It’s not good to think about fighting so much.”

Spike, completely dissuaded by either of us, said, “Well than would you fight me? I could take you, I’m a Dragon!”

She groaned, Spike was clearly adgitateing her. I was about to say something to him when she said, “Kid, look, out of all the children I’ve met you’re actually pretty cool but I’m not going to fight you. Mostly because if I were to I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but throw it. And because your Pony mom doesn’t seem to want you to.”

“I am definitely not his mother.” I said slightly offended for some reason.

“That’s why I said Pony mom. Completely different thing.” Her snarky expression said otherwise. I puffed out my cheeks in polite indifference but couldn't bring myself to say anything on account of the look in her eyes. This pony was so deceptively nice. Starlight Glimmer's village was one thing, but this was something else. She seemed to be genuinely happy but there was such a sadness that undercut her entire presence. And a danger, just looking at her made the hairs on my spine frost up.

Another few minutes of silence fell and again it was broken by Joy. “Do you want to ride on my back Spike?”

We both stopped in our tracks, Spike and I sharing a glance.

“Umm, sure.” He said.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to but you’re practically running to keep up with us and while I don’t doubt Dragon endurance you must be a little tired. Besides you probably barely weigh a thing. Just don’t kick my flanks or I will kick you. Unintentionally then intentionally.”

Spike hesitantly obliged and got on her back. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to or if he was just afraid of what would happen if he said no. Honestly I felt the ladder and didn't say anything for the same reason. Still, I kept my eyes on her. If she tried anything...

Eventually we found our way to the edge of the Black Crystal without incident and got out of the magically repressing area of effect. I stretched out muscles then funneled some magic through my horn, effectively stretching my magic. Then I glanced over and noticed Spike whispering something into Joy’s ear.

A disturbingly Pinkie smile grew on her face and her horn started lighting up. And it kept growing in intensity like she was looping magic for some reason.

“Hey Alicorn, can you fly?” Where the only words I heard before my world distorted and phased out.

And phased back in thousands of feet above Canterlot City. She had teleported us over a mile straight up! The mad unicorn didn’t even have any way to fly, she was going to get us all killed! And she was laughing like a loonatic, free falling without a parachute!

After about five seconds she teleported us onto the ground, thousands of feet away.

Still laughing she said, “Spike told me you were working your magic out because you have a higher passive build than normal Unicorns and a anti-magic zone makes you all stiff. I thought it was a great idea and stretched out my magic myself.” Then her voice stopped being all plastic cheer and she said, “but while I was up there I noticed something. There’s a lot more cities and a lot more city in them… Tell me Alicorn Twilight, what year is it?” She finished with a dangerous tone.

I gulped and said, “1010 into the second season.”

“What? What does that even mean. Last time I checked it was 713 A.B.”

“T-that comes from the old calendar.”

“How long? How long has passed while I was in that hole?”

I did a bit of mental math. Luna came back on the thousandth year so… “297 years…” Oh that was not a good face. That was a very angry face. That was the face of somepony about do do something stupid.

Her horn lit up again, progressively getting so bright it hurt to look at. Then all at once it was released in a telekinetic force spell that knocked us back against trees. I heard a scream then the tell tale *thunk* of a buck against a tree. Over and over again she bucked until I heard splintering wood. Then another scream, “FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK ME! And fuck my righteous indignation.” She sighed and deflated. “I’m sorry guys. Thanks for getting me out of there. If you hadn’t found me there’s no telling how long It would be until I got free, if I ever would. I have a request, if you ever see Celestia tell her she's a piece of shit who needs to learn how to deal with her problems.” And in a flash the mysterious pony vanished into the Aether. I tried to do a tracking spell but I only thought about it after the magic had distorted beyond recognition.

Author's Note

Well I hope it's not bad. If you see something stupid that I messed up please tell me and if you feel like giving me some constructive criticism than I'm all ears. Worry not yee weary few who actually liked this; I'm going to keep going. I've had this idea rattling around in my head for quite a while now and recently it was just trying to find a way to start.

Finished while listening to this song.