Off The Mark

by Goldfur

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Trixie, Sex, Comedy, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Alternate Universe
Length: 724714

Mark Wells only bought an old mirror, so why did he now have hooves, wings and green fur? And where was he? Maybe this great and powerful princess could tell him?

Mark Wells was a klutz, but even he could not imagine stumbling into a mirror that he had just bought at an antique store and ending up in a world of colorful equines, not to mention gaining hooves and wings at the same time. And whoever heard of green fur on a horse? Perhaps the great and powerful Princess that the guard was taking him to would have some answers because he sure didn't!

An alternative version of canon events with humorous twists. Written in collaboration with Airy Words.

Cover art by Mix-up and their DeviantArt account is Amalgamzaku.

Book One: Chapters 1–33
Book Two: "Further Off The Mark": Chapters 34–69
Book Three: "On The Mark": Chapters 70–100

Sex tag added as of chapter 32 but it's mostly due to talk. Actual sex takes place "off camera".

Published 2018-07-30 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-06 13:22:07 UTC

Chapter 2 - Right Place, Right Time

“What’s an alicorn and why the hell should I know anything about them?”

The blue pony stared at me as if I was mad before replying. “How do you not know of the alicorns? Everypony knows the rulers of Equestria are alicorns.”

“Still haven’t answered my question, pretty blue pony,” I pointed out.

“You think Trixie is pretty?” she asked before shaking her head vigorously. “Wait – Trixie is the one asking the questions, impertinent one! But if it helps diminish your ignorance, alicorns have both wings and horns.”

“Oh – like that stained glass picture of you that I passed.” I peered more closely at her robe-covered body. “That’s odd. I swear there aren’t any wings under that cape of yours.”

Trixie was startled and then her eyes shifted nervously. “Do not be so presumptuous of your Princess, peasant! Now, answer my question!”

Between the magic special effects and her bluster, I began to recognize this mare for what she was. Nevertheless, she had the guards at her beck and call, so I decided to play along for the moment. “I know nothing about your alicorns. In fact, I’ve never believed in fairytale kingdoms until now. All I know is that I fell into a mirror and suddenly I’m a Pegasus.”

Abruptly, Trixie was in my face. “You came through a portal and were transformed? Perhaps you saw Celestia and Luna but in the form of the creatures from your world?”

“Not unless they were shopping for antiques.”

Trixie blinked in confusion. “Nay – the Princesses… er… Trixie’s fellow rulers left in great haste on a task of enormous importance, vowing to return promptly. Shopping is hardly the reason. Perhaps you missed them?”

“I don’t know what could be so important that would drag two magical ponies to my world, but I doubt I would miss it.”

“Nevertheless, the portal rarely opens and this is the first time since they left that we have had a hint of where they may be. …Uh… one moment…” With another burst of light and smoke, she was gone, only to reappear a few seconds later in the same fashion. I would have been more impressed, but her hacking cough as she waved away the smoke kind of ruined the moment. I did notice that there were now lumps on either side of her barrel under her cape. “Attend us, Mark Swell.”

“That’s ‘Wells’,” I corrected even as I followed the mare out of the throne room. The doors opened to her glowing horn, and the guards bowed as she passed.

This situation just seemed to be getting more bizarre every minute. This Trixie person was obviously in control for whatever reason, but she came across to me like a showpony – all bluster and razzle-dazzle. Did these ponies really fall for that routine in the throne room? And I was willing to bet a month’s salary that there weren’t any wings under her clothing, or at least not real ones like mine. Maybe they were ceremonial? Artificial wings put on at certain times to mark them as special? And why was she so worried about the alicorns’ return?

“How long have the princesses been gone?” I asked.

“About two months,” she answered absentmindedly. Then she shot a glance at me. “Stop asking Trixie questions! You are our prisoner, remember?”

“Why am I a prisoner?” I asked, ignoring her order.

“You were found in a restricted area of the castle.”

“Not my fault that my new mirror turned out to be a doorway to another world. By the way, if we’re talking about alternate worlds, I might have a reason why your alicorns haven’t come back yet.” I nearly crashed my nose into the mare’s rear end as she abruptly came to a halt to stare at me intensely.

“Why have you not told Trixie this before?”

“Because I couldn’t possibly know until you answered my questions!” I replied with a glare.

Trixie snorted and resumed trotting. I hastened to catch up, glad that I seemed to have finally got the rhythm of the leg movements.

“Well? Are you going to explain to the Great and Intelligent Trixie your dubious theory?”

“Sure, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do.” But before I could begin, we came to a flight of stairs.

Trixie trotted down them without pause while I hesitated. She frowned at me from the bottom. “Well, hurry up! Duchess Trixie values her time!”

I poked my tongue out in concentration before giving myself a pep talk. ‘You can do this, Mark.’ Moments later, I was groaning in pain at the bottom of the stairs. Apparently, I couldn’t.

“Trixie is most impressed with the speed with which you followed her command, but questions your people’s sanity if that is your usual mode of descent,” she said.

She lit up her horn and levitated me back onto my hooves before continuing on without waiting to see if I had broken any bones. At least I didn’t land on my nose again. Everything else, maybe.

“The Magnificent and Impatient Trixie is still waiting for your words, Spark Well.”

“ ‘Mark Wells’,” I grated out as I tottered after her. “Look – I’ve read enough science fiction to know that some parallel dimensions could have different rates at which time passes. Your missing alicorns may have only been in another world for an hour while two months passed here.”

The mare looked thoughtful. “Trixie finds your theory plausible. We shall have to try to test it.”

We approached a doorway guarded by a lone unicorn. Although I did not get a good look at him before, I think it was the one that found me after I fell through the mirror.

“Your Empress orders you to open the portal room!” Trixie commanded imperiously.

The guard saluted before pulling out a set of oversized keys and using one to unlock the door. He turned on a light inside before we entered. Trixie pulled up with a gasp.

Turning to the guard, she said, “Why wasn’t Trixie informed of the damage, Guard?”

“My deepest apologies, Your Excellence! I was busy with the intruder.”

Now that I could see clearly, I observed that the room was filled with about twenty mirrors. They were of many different styles, some wall-mounted but most free-standing, but every one of them was full-length and apparently a potential doorway… except for the four that lay smashed on the floor. My stumbling around in the dark had managed to destroy them – shattered glass and twisted frames possibly ruining them forever.

Trixie rounded on me. “Why did you do this?! Are you a saboteur sent to prevent the return of the Princesses?!”

“Don’t be so paranoid, lady! I fell into a pitch-dark room, tried to get onto my two legs and fell over a couple of times before your guard opened the door and let in some light.”

She looked at me incredulously. “Why were you trying to walk on two legs if you couldn’t see?”

“Because humans only have two, and I didn’t know that I had been turned into a pony!”

She exchanged glares with me for a long moment before returning her gaze to the wreckage. “Which was your mirror?”

I looked hard at them all, especially the four broken ones, but I didn’t recognize any of them. “None of these resembles the one that I have at home, but I suspect it’s one of those.” I pointed a hoof at the two in the middle of the mayhem.

The mare sighed. “The Mighty and Frustrated Trixie was afraid of that. We hope that you have not also broken the Princesses’ portal.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you did, like you, they won’t be going home again.”

“What do you mean? Can’t you repair them? You have the magic power to make them, so fix them!”

“The construction of portals is an arcane art known to few, but worse, they have to be anchored to an object at the destination. Once that link is broken, there is no way that I know of to find that particular world once more.”

My eyes bulged and my ears flattened. “I’m stuck here as a green horse?!”

“Pony. And yes, you are.”

“Oh, crap.”

My legs felt shaky and weak. As I fell onto my rump, I heard Trixie start to chuckle. Then she started to laugh a touch hysterically.

“What’s so funny?” I asked surlily.

With a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face, she replied, “The Awesome and Wise Trixie’s reign shall last forever!”

Oh, great. I’m stuck in a crazy world with a nutcase in charge. And I think I sprained a wing. Joy.

With my host apparently having a meltdown, I eventually decided that both of us couldn’t afford that luxury. Sure – I was a ridiculously colored winged equine stranded in an alternate world perhaps for the rest of my life, but I was in good health (various recently acquired cuts and bruises excepted), and I was a resourceful kind of guy when I wasn’t planting my oversized snout into the floor. I turned to the guard and asked, “Were you here when your princesses went through the portal?”

The stallion nodded. “I was stationed outside at my post when Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrived.”

“Did you see which mirror that they used?”

“No, but I did glimpse one glowing oddly.”

“Which?”

“I’m not sure. As I said, I only caught a glimpse.”

“Take a stab at it,” I encouraged.

“Umm… this one, I think.”

His hoof pointed at one of those on the floor, and my heart sunk. That just about put the final nail in the coffin. “Could you let your… um… great and wonderful ruler talk in private with me for a moment?”

The guard looked at Trixie and she said, “Have you reported the damage here to anypony else?”

“No, Your Majesty.”

“See that you don’t. Also, do not discuss anything regarding our visitor.” Trixie half-heartedly waved him off.

The stallion bowed as he stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. It looked like solid oak – excellent for security but also good soundproofing. I turned back to the blue mare and looked at her keenly. The slight bulges under her cape seemed askew, but even as I watched, she unconsciously shrugged and shifted them back into place. I was pretty sure that I was looking at some sort of flimflam artist, or at least some show-pony who had been thrust into a role that was turning out to be tougher than she anticipated.

“Okay, Your Trixieness – would you mind explaining exactly what’s going on here?”

That seemed to pull the mare out of her strange mood, and she glared at me. “I don’t know what you are talking about, and do not address your monarch so informally.”

“Listen, lady – I don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but I can recognize someone running a scam when I see one. I run across your type all the time in my job. If you’re a real princess, then I’m the King of America!”

Trixie snorted derisively. “The Great and Tolerant Trixie is not amused by your presumption. She is the legitimate ruler of Equestria.”

“Then why are you so freaked out by the news that your princesses are unlikely to return?”

“Trixie is not freaked out; she is deeply concerned.”

“S-u-r-e you are. Mind letting me have a look under that cape of yours?”

“Impertinent stallion! No, you may not!”

“I thought as much. You’re a fake alicorn, aren’t you?”

“Be careful what you call your empress, peasant, or else suffer the consequences!” Her words were imperious, but her tone lacked conviction.

“What consequences? Are you going to dazzle me with more fireworks and stage magic meant only to impress an audience? Or perhaps try to frighten me more with illusions made of smoke and mirrors?”

Trixie gave me a sullen look. “Are you a performer in your land?”

“No, but I can recognize one. So, how did you usurp power?”

She tried to look indignant, but she slowly deflated and her ears sagged. “Trixie did not usurp power – she had it thrust upon her.”

As unlikely as that seemed, her demeanor seemed to back that up. “Care to share?” I asked, keeping the skepticism out of my voice.

For a very long moment it seemed she would not answer, but with a visible effort to firm her resolve, she replied, “Can Trixie trust you, stranger?”

I rolled my eyes. “Listen, ‘Princess’, we both seem to be caught up in this situation, so how about we help each other and cut out the bullshit? You can trust me to zip my lips and I’ll trust you to fix me up in this place.”

“Trixie finds that acceptable if you will Pinkie Promise.”

I looked at my hoof in confusion. “How? I don’t even have a pinkie finger anymore.”

Trixie stared at me in confusion before shaking her head and saying, “No. Do and say as Trixie does.” She then recited some words accompanied by some odd actions.

I just gaped for a long moment. “Seriously?” What sort of childish oath was this?

“Do it!”

“Okay! Okay! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. OW!” I had slammed my hoof into my face. Thanks to my ongoing lack of coordination, I probably now had a black eye to add to the list of injuries.

“Just so you know, ‘Bark Smells’, nopony ever breaks a Pinkie Promise.” She shuddered. “And a Pinkie Promise lasts forever.”

Her last word echoed strangely around the room, and I could have sworn it was in a different pony’s voice. Looking around, I didn’t see any…uh…pony else.

Apparently satisfied, Trixie began her explanation. “To understand better, first you need to know that Trixie did some unpleasant… things… in the past that she deeply regrets. Trixie decided that she must complete her magical training before resuming her career with confidence and style. Not that Trixie was ever less than magnificent, of course, but there’s always room for improvement. Her friend, Twilight Sparkle, spoke up for Trixie when she tried to re-join Princess Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns, and Her Highness often gave Trixie personal lessons as a favor to Twilight.”

“Why did Celestia favor this Twilight Sparkle so much?”

“She is the Princess’s personal student and a powerful mage. She was visiting Canterlot to check on my progress on the day that the Royal Sisters left through the portal. There were just the three of us in Celestia’s private study when one of the Guardsponies virtually burst into the room. He presented a message to Celestia and Her Highness looked horrified by whatever it contained. She jumped up and said something like, ‘An emergency has come up that my sister and I must attend to. Twilight – could you please help Trixie with completing the lesson?’”

“Twilight replied, ‘Of course, Princess, but if this is some sort of threat to Equestria, perhaps I should fetch the Element Bearers?’ And Celestia shook her head and said, ‘No, Twilight – this is a task for alicorns alone. We will assess the problem and let you know what you can do for us in the meantime.’ Then Celestia left in great haste while Twilight continued with the lesson. Shortly thereafter, a messenger from the Crystal Empire came begging for help against shadow creatures that were attacking the citizens of that distant city. Without either of the princesses there, Twilight took it upon herself to gather her friends and head off to the Crystal Empire to deal with the problem, leaving Trixie to study by herself. Celestia’s right-hoof mare Raven Inkwell found Trixie still there when she came looking for Celestia. She asked Trixie for Celestia’s whereabouts and was just about to leave when the Captain of the Royal Guard arrived.”

“ ‘Are you Celestia’s personal student?’ he asked Trixie. Of course, Trixie replied in the affirmative. He then informed Trixie that, by Celestia’s command, she was to take over the governance of Equestria until they returned.”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Don’t tell me – Celestia meant Twilight Sparkle, didn’t she?”

“Princess Celestia’s words to him before going through the portal were, ‘My personal student awaits my return in my chambers. Inform her that we empower her to act on our behalf in our absence.’ ”

I gaped at her. “You mean to say that you became ruler due to a case of mistaken identity?”

The mare gave me a half-smile. “Trixie was Princess Celestia’s personal student and was waiting there for her; Trixie thinks it was fate.”

“And everyone believed you?”

“Raven Inkwell was there to witness. Trixie is the legitimate ruler and her subjects do her bidding.”

“I’m beginning to think you ponies have to be the most gullible people that I have ever heard of. So – do you really want to have the responsibility to rule Equatoria forever?”

“It’s Equestria,” Trixie corrected. Then her ears drooped and she bit her lip before replying. “Trixie only sought to make some improvements and put some pizzazz into the Royal Court while she had the opportunity. She never expected that this might be a permanent gig.”

“Oh, for the love of… What about this Twilight Sparkle? Surely she knows who should really be in charge?”

“Heh! Funny you should mention that. Twilight and her friends spent about a week in the Crystal Empire trying to deal with the shadow creatures. Then they returned to Canterlot to acquire more help…”

Trixie was idly admiring her new crown when a Royal Guard approached the throne.

“Your Majesty – the Elements of Harmony have arrived and they demand an audience.”

Trixie had been anticipating this and she replied, “Let them in without delay, and make sure we are not disturbed.”

“As you command, Your Magnificence!”

As the Guard hastened to obey, Trixie smiled and placed the crown back on her head. “Hmmm. Trixie thinks she likes that one. She will keep him.”

Twilight Sparkle trotted into the throne room, followed by her five closest friends. They saw Trixie sitting imperiously on the throne and Raven standing nearby with her clipboard in hoof, looking like she would rather be anywhere else.

Twilight squared her stance and lit her horn, the other Element Bearers forming a line on both sides of her, their jewelry gleaming in the darkness with their own light. Trixie smirked. Twilight opened her mouth to speak but Trixie held up a hoof to interrupt her.

“Stop! You are here to put an end to my vile villainy and knock the false alicorn from the Throne of Equestria, am I correct?”

The light around Twilight’s horn flickered for a moment, but then her voice returned with its full confidence. “Uh, yes! And…”

“Fine! You win!” Trixie trotted down from the dais and headed for the back of the throne room. She then stopped and called over her shoulder. “Good luck ruling Equestria! You do realize all the Little Ponies will not accept anyone but an alicorn as their ruler, don’t you?”

Twilight gaped. “That’s not true! And even if it was, Cadance can… well, as soon as their emergency is over in the Crystal Kingdom she can occasionally visit to…”

Raven sadly shook her head.

Twilight’s horn went out entirely. “What?”

Raven looked up. “The Boring and Facetious Trixie is correct about the citizenry.”

Trixie turned around completely. “Hey!”

Raven continued as if no pony had said anything at all. “There was mass chaos in the streets after the rumor broke that Celestia and Luna had left. Ponies everywhere were just running around like headless chickens, throwing things in the air and knocking themselves over. They wouldn’t stop screaming and running even when they were on their sides, spinning like tops. Without their Alpha, whether it be the head of their herd or the ruler of the nation, the common pony can’t function. Trixie was…”

“Kind enough,” supplied the smug blue mare.

“…opportunistic enough…”

“~grumble~” Trixie pouted.

“…to seize the reins of power and restore order. She has been doing a sub-optimal and only a shade higher than adequate job of keeping the faith of the ponies since then.”

During this time, Trixie had put on her most smug grin and marched right up to Twilight’s nose. “So what do you say, ‘Prized Pupil’? Until the diarchs return, do you want to be saving Ponyville from their weekly crisis–”

Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Actually, more like monthly after you left.”

Trixie’s smile faltered and she glared at the pegasus, who didn’t seem to notice. “…their bi-weekly crisis and trying to help your foalsitter and brother solve the mystery of those ponies made of shadow that keep battering the shield around the Crystal Kingdom, or do you want to try to ‘reason’ with a nation of screaming equines that won’t listen to you unless you have both horns and wings?” She finished with a confident smirk and a flourish of her cape, showing off the artificial appendages that shored up her claim to the throne.

Twilight frowned and her horn started to glow again. Trixie’s smile faltered and she took a step back.

Applejack put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “One sec, now, sugarcube. Let’s get all the facts ’fore we do somethin’ we might regret.”

Rarity turned to the Right Hoof of Celestia. “Raven, darling, we were just so busy fighting off those deplorable creatures over the last week that there was no time to talk about anything else. Can you tell us what Cadance has said on the matter?”

The mare nodded. “As you know, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor are very busy keeping up the shield and evacuating the outskirts of their kingdom. We’ve only gotten a few scrolls through, but she…” Raven let out an exasperated sigh. “… praised Trixie for her quick thinking given the situation.”

Trixie crowed. “You see! It takes the intelligence of a royal to appreciate Trixie’s– ”

Twilight turned her head to face Trixie. Her eyes turned white and her mane appeared to catch fire.

The showmare crouched down slightly and softly said, “Shutting up now.”

Fluttershy came up to Twilight’s side. “Breathe deeply, Twilight. In… out… in… out...”

The unicorn closed her eyes and her mane slowly returned to normal. When her eyes opened, they were their normal purple hue. She looked at Raven. “No word from the Princesses?”

“None. And they specifically stated that the dimension they were travelling to was too dangerous for anypony but an alicorn.”

“Prince Blueblood?”

Raven snorted. “If he had been appointed by Royal Degree and the Sisters had personally expressed their full confidence in him to every pony in Equestria, the riots would have started in three days, tops.”

“He would not have missed this chance to seize power. Where is he, then?”

Trixie gave a motion of finality. “The situation has been handled.”

Rarity gasped. Fluttershy gasped. Pinkie Pie gasped because it seemed to be the “in” thing at the moment.

Six stares continued unblinking until Trixie wilted under the pressure. “No, Trixie didn’t kill him. Trixie gave him an all-expense paid trip to Prance to sample the wine at every vineyard in the country.”

Twilight frowned. “Five thousand, two hundred and twelve wineries, one visited in the morning and another in the afternoon makes…”

“Eight years,” supplied the showmare.

Twilight looked thoughtful for some time. Then she raised her head and moved in front of Trixie. “If you can do this, I’ll be the first to congratulate you on pulling off the Scam of the Century.”

Trixie stood up tall and straightened her crown.

Twilight leaned closer and narrowed her eyes. “And if you fail, I have absolutely no idea what the Elements of Harmony would do to the mare that usurped power from the rightful rulers of Equestria, but we would soon find out. Are. We. Clear?”

The blue unicorn’s legs trembled for a moment, then she gave Twilight her most confident smile and returned to the throne. Only after she was comfortably lounging there did she deign to reply. “Trixie has been preparing for this role since the day she was born. The Great and Wise Trixie has … ascended to the occasion and she will not fail.” She waved a hoof dismissively. “Now off with you. The Queen of All the Heavens has a meeting with the Griffonstone Ambassador to prepare for. Trixie does not need your distractions.”

“So basically, you were the least worst option,” I summed up.

“Trixie feels that you could have put that better, but yes. Equestria’s order has been maintained while Trixie has dealt with royal matters. The Elements of Harmony have attended to some minor crises and the Guild of Mages maintain the raising and setting of the sun and moon.”

My mind checked out then. “Say what?! Raising the sun?!”

Trixie gave him a curious look. “How else do you think the day cycles are maintained in the absence of the alicorns?”

My brain was officially overloaded and I rubbed my aching head with that damned hard hoof of mine. “I give up – I’m officially stuck in a fairytale.” Then my stomach emitted a loud gurgle. “And I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since I got here.”

Trixie headed for the door, opening it with her magic. “Perhaps we should discuss this further over dinner. Trixie can have the chef prepare whatever you wish.”

“That would be great. A nice thick sirloin steak sounds good right now.”

Trixie looked at me with horror. “You eat griffon food? Truly you are an alien from another world, Park Well!”

I groaned. Note to self – ponies can’t eat meat. Thank God they have toilet bowls.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

First off, I wish to acknowledge the great deal of story input that I have been getting from Airy Words as well as his normal pre-reading comments. Between us, we hope to bring you the most fun as we abuse our hero in this silly tale.

Thank you to all the people who kept the first chapter on the featured list for several days. I'm truly flattered.

EDIT: Please stop telling me that ponies CAN eat meat (or at least a moderate amount) – I already know this! But Mark ate a huge steak and that was more than his pony digestive system could take.

Chapter 3 - It's As Easy As Falling Off A Log

Dinner had been both frustrating and educational, and I’m not just talking about my visit to the porcelain receptacle. Trixie had kept her word and allowed me to order the biggest and juiciest steak the Royal Kitchen could cook up. The chef’s skeptical look did not discourage me, but the smirk on the blue mare’s face should have tipped me off. While we were waiting for our meals, I took in the details of the dining room. It looked fancy but still quite normal… for humans. I glared at the cutlery in front of me and then queried my host.

“How the hell am I supposed to use these?” I asked as I indicated the offending knife and fork. “It’s not as if I have fingers anymore. I don’t have that magic horn of yours to levitate them. Why give them to me at all?”

“How else are you going to cut your steak?” Trixie replied unhelpfully.

I gave her a flat look before ineffectually prodding the offending silverware with my hoof. “Last I saw, hooves aren’t very useful for picking up things.”

Trixie giggled. “How would you know? Have you tried?”

Now I knew she was yanking my chain. Gritting my teeth I ground out, “I don’t have fingers on my hoof!”

“What are fingers? Are they anything like griffon talons? That’s how they handle their steaks.” Her grin just kept getting bigger.

“You knew this was going to happen, didn’t you? You wanted me to get my steak and not be able to eat it.”

She pursed her lips and tutted in a show of exaggerated solicitude. “Do you think so little of the Kind and Generous Trixie that I would torment you so?”

I started to fume. “If you’re so concerned, would you care to explain?”

“What is there to explain? Pick them up and use them.”

I slammed my hoof on the table, rattling the plates, cutlery, and various other dining table accessories. I waved my knife in her face and snarled, “What sort of explanation is that?! Can’t you stop playing mind games for one moment and tell… me…” I trailed off as Trixie smirk grew to monumental proportions as her eyes regarded the knife. Mine shifted to look at it too. It was there on my upraised hoof. Firmly held. No fingers. Impossible! It suddenly clattered to the table. I looked back to Trixie and asked, “What happened?”

She shrugged. “You stopped holding it.”

“How did I hold it in the first place?”

“You stopped thinking that you couldn’t and just picked it up as any pony would,” she replied, demonstrating by picking up her fork in her hoof without her horn glowing. “Trixie suggests you practice because she is not going to cut up your food and feed you.”

I put my hoof on the knife handle, feeling the cold metal through the frog. I still didn’t understand how I had picked it up the first time, and Trixie was a lousy teacher, but maybe if I pictured in my mind grasping it with my absent fingers…?” I felt it this time – a flow of energy around my hoof. I lifted it and the knife came along with it. I could somehow feel my grasp on the handle and I tested that hold by pressing the tip of the knife against the table. It held firm. Magic. These ponies took these things for granted but I was going to have to learn – although hopefully not from the mocking mare in front of me.

When my steak finally arrived, I was able to cut and consume it with gusto, much to my regret afterwards. When I dragged myself back to the table from the bathroom, Trixie was enjoying a large dessert.

With her mouth still half full, she said, “The Kind and Thoughtful Trixie ordered you a garden salad.” She indicated it with her spoon.

While I thought I would not be interested in food any more after that episode, my stomach reminded me that it was empty… again. I sat back on my chair and regarded the large bowl of vegetables. I could see lettuce, cucumber, scallions, cherry tomatoes, olives, sun-dried tomatoes, cheese, plus a light dressing, and it smelled pretty good. I picked up my fork but before I dug in, I glared at Trixie and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me that ponies can’t eat meat?”

“Who says we can’t?” she replied infuriatingly.

I groaned. “Then why did I just consign my steak to a toilet bowl?”

“Ponies have always been able to eat meat – pegasi are inexplicably fond of fish – but always in modest amounts. If you had eaten a quarter of that steak, you would have been fine.”

I had stuffed my face with some of the salad while Trixie was talking, and I chewed and, unlike the supposed paragon of ponies, swallowed before replying, “But you were disgusted by my wanting to eat a steak. What gives?”

“The Great and Refined Trixie would not stoop to eating a formerly living thing, even if the meat came from a non-sapient cow.”

“So you’re saying it’s a cultural choice? Wait! Sapient cow? Are you telling me that there are talking cows here?”

“Of course. The bovine guild would go on strike if we even considered serving them up to our griffon guests.”

My head swam. “Besides ponies, griffons, and cows, what other species am I going to end up having an awkward conversation with?”

“Let’s see… There are the minotaurs, zebras, diamond dogs – uncouth ruffians, Abyssinians, deer–”

“Enough! I get it – don’t assume that anything is just an animal. Sheesh! How much more ridiculous can this place get?”

“Trixie recommends that you stop complaining and keep eating, or else she will take your dessert too.”

I pointed warningly at the mare with my fork. “Don’t you dare! If there’s anything as sacred to a man as a steak, it’s his dessert.”

Trixie just laughed, but she didn’t steal the generously sized piece of apple and blackberry pie that was waiting for me despite my taking the time to chew the salad properly before swallowing. One upset stomach was enough, thank you!

I have to say that pony chefs know how to cook. I was never much of a salad eater before, but I loved every bite of this one. And the pie was heavenly. No wonder Trixie threatened to eat my portion. Not that she couldn’t have ordered more from the kitchen anyway. Me too, come to think of it. I sighed – I had let her get to me again.

I leaned back in the chair with a groan of satisfaction. I was pleasantly stuffed and my mood lightened. I regarded my host a touch more benignly and thanked her for the meal. “That was a wonderful dinner, but I suppose we had better get back to more important matters, to wit – what happens to me now?”

Trixie tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm. Trixie supposes that she should throw you in the dungeon for the destruction of royal property.”

“WHAT?! Hey, lady, and I use that term very loosely, it’s not my fault that someone left a powerful arcane object where innocent people can stumble upon it! I hardly wanted to come to this crazy world.”

The blue pony merely smirked at me again. “The Great and Forgiving Trixie pardons you for your crime.”

I reminded myself not to let Trixie get under my skin – or under my green coat I suppose. “Well, thanks a bunch, ‘Princess’. With that option of royal accommodation off the table, that still leaves me at loose ends. Maybe I should consult with that Guild of Mages that you mentioned. Maybe they could get me home?”

Trixie’s face fell and she waved her hooves in distress. “No! You can’t talk to them!”

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Why not?”

“If they learn what happened to the portal mirrors, they may decide it’s Trixie’s fault that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna can’t return.”

“I thought you were worried about being stuck with this job?”

“It’s a lot more preferable to the alternative. The Great and Wise Trixie rules only through the good graces of the Guild, the Element Bearers, and the nobles who sought stability in the absence of the alicorns. If they think that the Princesses will never return, Trixie’s days may be numbered.”

“Well, that sucks for you, but how else do I get home?”

“Hark Knells – do you really think that the Guild of Mages could do something that even the alicorns could not do without an enchanted portal?”

That brought me down to earth with a thud. I didn’t even feel like correcting Trixie for mangling my name again. I thought hard but only one alternative came up for the moment. “I suppose I need to stick around here in case something comes up. You wouldn’t happen to have an opening for a computer analyst, would you?”

“Trixie has no idea what that is, but what makes you think that the Important and Busy Trixie has need of you? She may just send you on your way.”

I gave her a level stare. “Are you telling me that you’re simply going to kick me out into a world I don’t know, homeless and destitute?”

“You could take a job as an air courier,” she suggested innocently.

“One – I don’t know how to fly. Two – I have a better idea. Seeing as you’re quite willing to just throw me out, I might be just as willing to spread the news about how the Great and Deceptive Trixie is the Princess of Scams. I wonder how much the local newspaper would pay me for that story?”

The de facto ruler of Equestria laughed nervously. “The Silly and Humorous Trixie was only kidding. She is sure that she can find a place for you here at the palace.”

Score one for me, but I had no intention of just hanging around doing nothing, even if it was in the lap of luxury. “Tell you what, Duchess – it sounds like you could use a little help running things around here. How about me lending a hand… I mean a hoof… and we can both try to make the best of the situation together.”

The mare brightened. “The Wise and Clever Trixie knows what to do. I will make you my Grand Vizier!”

I blinked in surprise. “That’s a rather… extreme title. How about just Advisor?”

“Nay! Raven Inkwell is already Empress Trixie’s chief advisor. You need a position that gives you an excuse to be at Trixie’s call at any time.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Okay – Grand Vizier it is. Do I get a uniform? I’m tired of walking around naked.”

Trixie looked askance at me. “What is wrong with that? Don’t you want the mares to see your breeding potential?”

“SAY WHAT?!” My God – I hadn’t been imagining the looks I had been getting from some of the staff.

“Never mind,” Trixie continued. “If you desire a uniform, one can be acquired. Besides, the Princess of Equestria can do without the distraction.”

So now I was a potential stud. I couldn’t imagine getting it on with a pony, but they had no idea that I was a human inside this horsehair coat. Those clothes could not come soon enough for me.

Trixie got up from her chair and headed towards the balcony. “Attend Trixie, Grand Vizier!”

Glad of the distraction, I followed Trixie as she opened the glass balcony doors and stepped outside. She went right up to the railing and gazed around proudly while I stopped a half-pace back to look around. The sun was fairly low in the west, about an hour from sunset, I guessed. The city below was still well lit, but lengthening shadows added sharp contrast to the various buildings. Everywhere I looked, there were ponies going about their business – predominantly unicorns, but I saw quite a few of the other kinds. Cute foals played in the streets without two-ton automobiles to worry about. It was colorful and idyllic, and suddenly it didn’t seem so bad being stranded in this world.

“The Magnificent and Illustrious Trixie comes out here every afternoon so that her subjects may see that she watches over them.”

“I don’t know how many of them actually notice you, except for some of those pegasi flying by,” I commented.

Trixie gave me a sour look, but then her smirk returned. “You say that you don’t know how to fly like those pegasi. Trixie reckons that you have yet to even try.”

Her horn glowed and I felt myself being lifted off the floor. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”

“Remember Trixie’s lesson with the knife – your body knows how to fly, so let it.”

She moved me over the balcony railing and there was nothing between me and the ground about fifty yards below. I froze in terror and I barely managed to squeak out, “Bring me back!”

“Like a mother bird pushing her chicks out of the nest to teach them to fly, Trixie will teach you how to be a proper pegasus. Spread your wings, Lark Bells, and fly!”

With that, she released her magic hold on me and I plummeted downwards. I tried to spread my wings, but they were locked to my sides in terror. A flagpole approached and I desperately grabbed for it with my two front hooves. Miraculously, the same magic grip that let me hold a knife with my hoof also seemed to work on flagpoles. I clung like a leech while the pole bent dangerously, creaking from the strain. Then it snapped back, almost managing to fling me off again, finally forcing my wings partially open to flop about uselessly. As the pole wobbled back and forth, I managed to wrap my hind legs around it, securing my position. I glanced nervously toward the ground which was still too far away for my taste.

“What do you think you are doing, Dark Smells? That’s no way to fly,” came Trixie’s voice way above me.

“I’m afraid of heights, you fool mare!”I yelled back.

I felt myself enveloped in her magic once more, but it took a mighty effort for her to separate me from my friend, the flagpole. I jammed my eyes closed as I ascended back to the balcony, and I did not open them again until I felt my hooves touch the floor. My legs shook uncontrollably and I nearly collapsed.

“What the hell was that idea, Trixie?” I asked shakily.

“You’re a pegasus – you need to be able to fly or you will look suspicious.”

“Well, you’re a terrible flight instructor, and I like my feet to stay on the ground, thank you very much!”

“Trixie does not know what a feet is, but she knows you must confront your fears as Trixie once had to.”

“Not today, I don’t. Give me a room so I can get some rest – it’s been a crazy day.”

“Very well, but you must wait until the sun has been set first.”

“I don’t want to wait an hour while you sunbathe.”

Trixie laughed condescendingly. “Don’t be foalish, Spark Gells – sunset is scheduled for a little over a minute from now. The Magnificent and Glorious Empress Trixie must be seen to perform her royal duty.”

“What in heaven's name are you talking about?”

Instead of answering me, she moved over to the railing and her horn glowed. The artificial wings that she still wore started unfolding under the influence of her magic until they were fully spread. I had to admit that she looked quite impressive, but I wondered what the show was for. Then I noticed something that nearly made my mind check out again – the sun was suddenly accelerating towards the horizon. Two seconds later, it had set. And just for an encore, I saw the moon rising nearby at the same inexplicable rate before it settled down to a more sedate orbit. Trixie folded her wings and turned back to me with a smile of satisfaction.

“There – that did not take long, did it?”

“Did you…? The sun and moon… But how?” I dithered.

“Did not Trixie tell you that the Guild of Mages maintains the sun and moon’s schedule? The Great and Powerful Trixie merely maintains the illusion that she controls them as Celestia and Luna once did.”

“I thought you were talking about some superstition, but you ponies really do control them!”

Trixie gave me a curious look. “Who controls them on your world, Bark Sells?”

“Nobody controls them! They’re too big to be controlled, and they don’t need to be anyway!” I screeched.

The mare shook her head and said, “The Sympathetic and Understanding Trixie thinks you need some rest. You are beginning to rave.”

I sighed and sagged. “Bed sounds very nice right now.”

Trixie summoned a maid who guided me to a guest room. Right then I didn’t really appreciate just how nice it was, instead heading for the en-suite bathroom to take care of necessities before climbing wearily into bed. So ended my first full day on a truly alien world, trapped in a form that was not of my choosing. Surely things had to get better tomorrow?

Despite my tiredness, I could not get to sleep. I had to get one thing off my chest before I could relax. I pulled back the sheet and raised my hoof towards the ceiling where I imagined Trixie’s room was, and I shook it like it was a fist. “My name is MARK WELLS, you dyslexic dipstick!”

Feeling a lot better, I settled back down and quickly went to sleep.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 4 - First Impressions

A shaft of sunlight speared my eyes and I groaned in frustration at being woken from a sound sleep. “Who the hell opened the curtains?” I grumbled as I turned away from the offending radiance.

“That would be me, sir,” came an unexpected voice from beside the bed.

Suddenly, I was wide awake and I shot upright. There was a dark blue pegasus stallion with a white and light blue-striped mane standing there, dressed in a white shirt, black bow tie, and a grey coat with tails. He looked exactly as comfortable as I would be if I was stuffed into a formal outfit like that. I was strictly a casual dresser – I hadn’t worn a shirt with a tie since my job interview years ago. I frowned at him. “Who are you, and what are you doing in my bedroom?”

“My name is Steady Flight, and I am your… butler, milord.”

I noticed the hesitation but I was more stunned by the answer. “Butler? Whose idea was that?”

“Princess Trixie’s, actually. You required a personal servant and I was selected to help you overcome your handicap.”

Alarm bells went off in my head. “What handicap?” I asked cautiously.

“The Great and Compassionate Trixie has informed me about how a severe allergic reaction sent you into a coma and when you finally awoke, your memory had been badly affected. Now you can’t recall your past and even need to re-learn how to fly.”

I stared at the stallion for a long moment in disbelief. Was that the best that crazy mare could come up with? Now I was going to have to play along as some sort of retarded idiot. I groaned and face-hoofed. OW! I had to learn not to do that too. For better or for worse, I now had to play along with the cover story. “Oh, that. Right. Still having trouble.” Then a thought occurred to me and my eyes narrowed. “What did our gracious monarch say that my name was?”

“Lord Shark Sells, sir.”

Called it! “Her Highness… misspoke. My name is Mark Wells. It’s one of the few things that my memory still recalls perfectly. I would appreciate it if you remember that.”

“Of course, sir. Would you care to get dressed now?”

“Shower first. Wait! Get dressed? You brought me clothes?”

“Yes, milord. Her Highness instructed that I bring you clothing suited to your station.”

Oh yeah – that Grand Vizier thing. Curiosity won out. “Let me see what you brought. And knock off that ‘milord’ stuff – it sounds too stuffy. Just ‘sir’ will do.”

“Very good, sir.”

I wasn’t sure, but I think he sounded a little relieved. He moved over to the nearby dresser where a pile of clothes that were not there last night lay waiting. He first held up a white shirt with ruffles. My nose wrinkled in distaste but it was nothing in comparison to the horror that he held up next. It was some sort of fancy red velvet coat with yards of lace and gold braid, plus oodles of shiny brass buttons.

“Who chose that tacky monstrosity?” I asked, aghast at the very thought of wearing it.

“Duchess Trixie selected it personally, I believe.”

What did she think I was, a stage assistant for her magic act designed to distract the audience with my garish looks? “Take those away and get rid of them. Burn them, preferably. While I’m showering, find me something decent to wear. Keep it simple and tasteful.” I particularly emphasized the last word.

“With pleasure, sir.”

“Good man… er… stallion.”

I slid out of bed and made my way over to the bathroom. I found it was well-stocked with shampoo and conditioner, which I suppose was virtually essential for any well-groomed pony, especially one that was supposed to be as important as me. Thanks to a long-handled scrubbing brush and my newly acquired magically magnetic hooves (that somehow worked on wood), I had a long and satisfying shower. Drying myself off was trickier, but there were plenty of towels to accomplish this task. I eyed the mirror suspiciously for a moment before deciding that it was unlikely that someone was going to put a door to another world in their bathroom. I regarded my appearance in the mirror and realized that I was going to need a damn good grooming. I missed my nice smooth, nearly hairless skin. And I still thought green looked silly, but after seeing the multitude of colors that these ponies came in, I realized that it could have been worse.

I found Steady Flight waiting for me impatiently. Perhaps he hadn’t meant to be seen like that, but I think I caught him by surprise after dawdling in the bathroom for so long. Rather amateurish of him, I reckoned. Not that I’d had much experience with butlers outside of the movies; I wasn’t that rich. He had put the new clothes on the bed and I checked them over. Simple off-white business shirt – not my favorite but I could deal with that. Dark grey business jacket – I suppose I had to at least look acceptable to the court. Steady had retained the bow tie, and after some thought, I agreed with his choice. A regular tie would just get in the way a lot. There was still something missing though.

“Aren’t there any pants?”

Steady Flight raised one confused eyebrow. “Pants, sir? I was not aware that you were into that fad.”

Pants were a fad? I sighed. “Got to show off my breeding potential, right?”

“I wouldn’t have put it quite that way, but yes.”

“Even if it’s a distraction to the mares?”

“That’s what the shirt and jacket are for, sir,” he replied as if explaining the obvious to a slow child. “They draw the eye and indicate refinement. Or at least that’s what I’m told.”

While he had mumbled the last bit, I still caught what he said with these large mobile ears that I now possessed. The stallion seemed even less of a house servant than I was. Buttling was supposed to be a highly professional career, but he was acting more like someone stuck with a job that he had little idea – or desire – to perform… Someone…? She didn’t, did she?

“Steady – what do you do for a job?” I asked casually.

“I’m a Royal Courier–” He slapped a hoof over his mouth.

“Too late. Let me guess – the Powerful and Annoying Trixie conscripted you because she needed a pegasus to teach me to fly. Again,” I added hastily.

Steady Flight was silent for a long moment before he nodded. “Yes, sir.”

I put an arm (yes, I know it’s a foreleg – humor me!) around his shoulders and said, “Looks like we’re both in a situation that we don’t want. I’ll make you a deal – I’ll treat you like one of the guys while you’re stuck with this job, and you do the same for me. Okay with you?”

“Works for me, sir.”

“The name’s Mark, Steady.”

“Okay, Mark, but I don’t want to get into the habit of using your name. I might blurt it out accidentally in front of someone important.”

“Fair enough. Anyway, I suppose I had better get dressed. I could do with some help, and you probably need to get some practice pretending to be my personal butler.”

“I can do that, but would you like your coat groomed and your mane and tail combed first?”

“Oops! That would probably be a good idea. You do know how to do that at least, I hope?”

“Of course! Wow – you really don’t remember anything, do you?”

“It’s like I’m from a whole other world sometimes,” I replied.

With the artificial formality set aside, Steady Flight proved to be quite a companionable stallion and very helpful for someone like me who didn’t know the first thing about pony personal care. And I admit the brushing was not a little pleasurable. We chatted a bit and I regretted that I had to maintain the fiction that I was an amnesiac. I would have liked to have talked about my world with someone who wasn’t a self-absorbed smart-ass mare.

After a quick preening of my wing feathers (which was novel to say the least), Steady eventually declared that the grooming was sufficient and he helped me get dressed. I observed the results in the mirror and nodded in satisfaction. I could tolerate this for the time being. I turned to Steady and asked, “What now?”

“You have time to have breakfast before Empress Trixie’s court starts. I’ll accompany you to the dining room and inform the chef that you are ready to eat.”

I headed for the door. “Will Trixie be there?”

As we exited, Steady replied, “My apologies, but I do not know Her Magnificence’s schedule, Lord Wells.”

Damn. Back in public and Steady’s back to being a stiff. Can’t blame the guy, I suppose. We trotted to the same dining room where I’d had dinner last night and found it empty, much to my relief. I wanted to get this day off to a better start than yesterday and I wasn’t ready to deal with the Great and Snarky Trixie yet. Steady informed the chef that I was ready to dine and I was able to order a stack of pancakes with fruit compote and whipped cream, two eggs on wheat toast, and a large mug of coffee. I don’t know how they had coffee in another universe, but I was deeply thankful that they did. I had a feeling that I was going to be needing it a lot.

I was sipping the last of the fine brew when Steady returned to inform me that I was expected in the throne room immediately. I sighed and nodded. Show time!

I had expected to see just Trixie and perhaps a couple of guards. Instead, there was a large gathering of ponies, mostly unicorns, all expensively dressed, lined up in front of the throne. Steady halted at the entrance while I nervously proceeded inside. I walked along the carpet that led to the throne which was the only clear path through the gathering of what I presumed were the nobles. Halting at the foot of the dais, I bowed extravagantly.

“I, Lord Mark Wells, am here by your command, your majesty.”

There – that pre-empted Trixie from mangling my name in front of everyone.

“Welcome to the court of the Grand and Mighty Trixie, Lord Sells.”

I rolled my eyes. Spoke too soon.

Trixie turned her attention to the gathered nobles. “Let it be known that the Wise and Learned Trixie has chosen Lord Dark Cells as Grand Vizier of the Canterlot Court. He shall be lending his unique perspective to aid in your Queen’s decisions and will speak with my authority.” She levitated a medallion hanging from a blue silk ribbon down to me and slipped it over my head. “Welcome your new Grand Vizier,” she proclaimed proudly.

There came nothing but muttering among the nobles.

Trixie stood up, stamped her forehoof on the dais and raised her false wings. “Your High Queen commands the Parliament of Nobles to welcome Lord Shells as the Grand Vizier of Equestria!”

There was some token applause sufficient to appease Trixie and she refolded her wings then sat down on the throne. “The Great and Astute Trixie recommends that the nobles get to know your new Grand Vizier.” She then turned her attention to buffing a forehoof with her cape.

I faced the nobles with some trepidation. They knew what the real circumstances of Trixie’s ascension to the throne were but they also knew that they needed her as a figurehead while they did most of the real work. The trouble with that arrangement was that all the citizens plus the nobles not in this select group were going to obey her over the authority of these nobles who were running things in the background, which meant that Trixie had quite a lot of real power, and she knew it. There was a delicate balance between her and them, and I had just been thrown into the situation to upset it. This was not going to be fun. Nevertheless, if for no other reason than not getting defenestrated before learning how to fly, I was going to do my best to support Trixie and for this fantasy land.

I bowed to the nobles – might as well make a good first impression. “I bid you greeting, my lords and ladies. I hope that we can work together well for the benefit of all Equestria.”

First mistake. I realized belatedly that the typical noble was more interested in what was good for themselves first and Equestria second. Therefore, they immediately regarded me as an attempt by Trixie to change that situation. Nevertheless, they kept up an appearance of decorum and started introducing themselves. After a lengthy string of backhanded compliments and digs at the validity of my appointment, I was just about ready to strangle half of them. The pompous unicorn Lord High Station was getting on my last nerve, particularly.

“Who are you exactly? Why haven’t I seen you before, Grand Vizier Mark Wells? Why should I not believe you are actually a changeling here to cast your terrible mind control magic on our Beloved and Wise Empress Trixie the First? You are a threat to Equestria that must be dealt with post haste.” His horn began to glow.

I smiled disarmingly. “Very good questions! But would a changeling do this?” I then verified that my skull was just as thick as it had been as a human and that a vicious head butt is almost always an effective way to end an argument.

Lord Fancy Pants looked down at the indisposed and barely-conscious noble, taking the time to sip his cocktail. “I’m inclined to agree with the Grand Vizier – changelings are much more subtle in their ways.”

I was very glad to hear the wry sense of humor in his voice. It seemed that at least one noble wasn’t talking disapprovingly to my face. I’d have to ask Trixie what the hell a changeling was later, but for now, I seem to have put that notion to rest. “My lords, while a lot of my past is a mystery due to my amnesia, there are certain aspects that I do still recall with great clarity. One of them is to deal directly and effectively with a problem without delay. If anyone else would care to dispute my legitimacy, please feel free to step forward now.”

It came as no surprise that no one took up my offer. People… and even ponies in this case… who relied on political machinations rarely had the stomach for more physical battles. However, I had established that I wasn’t about to be pushed around and now everyone was on record as tacitly agreeing with my appointment. I’d have to be on my toes… hooves… tippy-hooves? …and watch out for the more insidious attacks though.

“Attend us, Grand Vizier!” Trixie called imperiously.

I climbed up on the dais and stood beside Trixie’s throne, projecting what I hoped looked like quiet dignity.

Trixie then said, “This meeting of the Parliament of Nobles is now ended and you are dismissed. The Dutiful and Sagacious Trixie must begin Day Court soon and attend to the needs of her subjects.”

The nobles made curt bows and filed out of the throne room. When the last of them had left and the Royal Guards had closed the doors behind them, I turned to glare at Trixie.

“Thanks a lot for throwing me into the lions’ den!”

She just gave me that infuriating smug grin of hers. “I do not see what the problem was, Quark Tells. You seem to have handled the nobles with great efficacy.”

“Yeah, and most of them are already sharpening their knives.”

“They only care that their status and power are retained; if you do your job well, you can keep them happy and serve Equestria at the same time.”

“Not to mention keeping your royal ass safe, right?”

“The Forgiving and Gentle Trixie does not have a donkey retainer, merely yourself. If you wish to be referred to as ‘Your Royal Ass,’ Trixie will permit this. However, Trixie believes you might mean keeping my position safe. That would seem to be an agreeable side benefit,” she replied smugly.

I sighed and gave up. I was curious about my badge of office though – it seemed awfully light for a medallion. I lifted it with my hoof to take a good look at it. It was gold in color and had Trixie’s cutie mark upon it, but when I looked on the back, I discovered it was actually made of painted cardboard with the words: “One night only at the Trottingham Fairgrounds, Foals’ Stage.”

With a snicker, I showed the back to Trixie. She blanched, snatched it off my neck, and ran behind the throne. Curiously, I peered around the royal chair and saw a concealed doorway ajar. I waited a minute then followed into the maze of corridors that all looked the same to me. With the help of one of the guards, I headed towards Trixie’s private chambers. It was then that Trixie returned, triumphantly showing that the medallion now possessed her cutie mark on both sides. “Please add this to the list of things never to bring up again, Hark Hells.”

After her magic levitated the ribbon back around my neck and released it, I immediately noticed how heavy the medallion now felt. I picked up the disk with one hoof and tapped it hard with the other. It gave a metallic ‘clunk’ and, examining the edge, I did not see any damage. I looked up at Trixie. “Did you really use your magic to turn it to gold?”

Her smile grew wide. “You are welcome to believe that.”

I gave her the stink eye. “However...”

“However, the Efficient and Brilliant Trixie finds it much easier to add weight and permanence spells to produce the same effect.”

I lowered my hoof and let my new badge of office swing. I smiled devilishly. “I will think of it as representing everything that you are.”

Trixie’s smile brightened for a moment, then faltered as her brow furrowed. She glared at me and then suddenly focused on my nose for some reason. “Look out!”

“What?” I asked before she zapped my muzzle with her magic. “Ow! That stung!”

“You are most fortunate, Aardvark Smells, that the Quick and Considerate Trixie was able to slay that pesky fly with just one blow!”

I groaned and gave her a glare. “I thought you said yesterday that there were wards on the castle to keep flies out?”

The mare nodded in what was almost a sympathetic manner. “Yes, a most persistent pest indeed to get this far into the castle.” She moved up very close to my muzzle. “We will have to try to be more careful in the future.”

I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they were going to come out of their sockets. “The Wise and Totally-Not-Fooling-Anyone Trixie is correct, as always.”

She blinked and turned around with a smile. “And don’t you forget it! Now stop dallying – the Great and Punctual Trixie needs to open Day Court.”

I snorted and moved up beside her. Was I going to stand for this treatment? Certainly not! I swatted her rump with my tail and she let out a rather adorable ‘Meep!” sound. She turned to me with wide, I-can’t-believe-that-you-did-that eyes.

I grinned. “For a moment, I thought I saw that fly again. Looks like I was mistaken.”

Surprisingly, she just faced forward and chose not to say anything. It was a bit odd how her eyes were still wide and I now noticed that her cheek was a shade of pink.

I just didn’t get it. I’ll never understand girls no matter what the dimension.

Author's Note

No illustration for this chapter, but you should go back to the previous chapter to see the revised art for that one if you haven't already. The orientation better fits the story.

Once again, much credit to Airy Words for his input.

Chapter 5 - Crash Course

Whatever else I felt about Trixie, I had to admit that she actually did seem to care for the average pony. This session of the Day Court was for petitions from the commoners and she handled many quite well in my opinion. When she got stuck, she would consult with Raven Inkwell or her new Grand Vizier (mostly Raven though), and I began to feel less of a phony. It was an education watching her because it was clear that the public was generally in favor of their new princess, and it wasn’t hard to see why. Trixie played the crowd like the showmare that she was – bantering with them, doing minor magic tricks with perfect timing, and genuinely trying her best to please the majority of them. Once or twice, Raven or I had to rein her in to make a less popular but fairer decision, but overall, I would have to give my new ‘boss’ a pretty high grade in public relations so far. By the time that recess was called for lunch, I was in a pretty good mood.

To my surprise, Steady Flight already had a light meal waiting for me laid out on a sundeck, and I queried him about it.

“If I am going to be stuck with this job, I thought I’d ask some of the staff what would be expected of me. Turns out there’s quite a lot. I also got chewed out for calling myself a butler. I’m informed that my actual position is a valet.”

“Let me guess – Trixie was the one who called you a butler?”

“Got it in one, sir.”

“My first piece of advice to you – don’t take anything she tells you at face value. Second piece – don’t think I’m like those nobles who can’t do anything for themselves. That said, this looks like a nice light meal. Thank you for making it, Steady.”

“I prepared it in mind of your flying lesson. I’ve scheduled it for immediately after Day Court finishes – if that suits you?”

My appetite suddenly dropped at that reminder. I really had no particular desire to learn to fly in spite of my wings frequently twitching as if eager to get into the air. However, a pegasus who refused to learn how to fly would look pretty strange, and I was in enough of a pickle without adding another complication. Steady must have sensed my lack of enthusiasm because his brow furrowed and he looked at me intently.

“Is something the matter, sir? Did you want me to schedule the lesson for another time?”

Yeah – preferably the twelfth of never. How could I tell him that I had acquired a healthy respect for heights after my numerous falls from trees, from roofs, from a hang glider (how Phil got me into one, I’ll never understand), from… well… you get the picture. It was not for nothing that Phil called me Captain Klutz. Me and falling seemed to go hand in hand, or in hoof in this case. But I couldn’t tell Steady that because I’m supposed to have forgotten my past. I sighed and gave in to the inevitable. “No – that time is fine. Just warning you though that when Trixie tossed me over the balcony, I froze up like an icicle.”

“She what?! I mean, the princess’ methods may not be… suitable.”

“Let’s call it like it is while she’s not in earshot – the Great and Clueless Trixie has no idea how to teach a pegasus how to fly.”

“But… she has wings…?”

I so badly wanted to disabuse him of that notion. It surprised me that no one ever questions them, but for the moment, I had to play along with the charade. “I guess she’s too new to them to teach effectively. Anyway, that food isn’t going to eat itself, and it’s a nice day, so let’s relax while we can.”

“I need to look as if I’m on duty, sir.”

“I need a friend more than a valet, Steady.”

“We can chat while I stand here as if I am tending to your needs. I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Fair enough. So – tell me what life was like as a royal courier…”

The afternoon session proceeded much as the morning’s had, although I had to bring in some other-worldly knowledge to persuade Trixie not to give the green light to a project that I knew would cause considerable pollution. When I checked with Raven later, it turned out that this petitioner had tried before to get her project approved but Celestia had rejected it, probably for similar reasons to mine. I figure she thought she could slip it past the inexperienced monarch, and she would have been right if Trixie didn’t have two ponies looking over her shoulder.

The afternoon session was concluding when the sergeant-at-arms announced a surprise visitor.

“Twilight Sparkle! Isn’t she the pony who was supposed to get your job?” I whispered urgently in Trixie’s ear. “What is she doing here?” Had I come along just in time to get involved in a confrontation between them?

Trixie merely nodded and ignored my questions. She waited while a purple unicorn approached, a scowl on her face. When the mare halted at the base of the dais, Trixie stood up regally and said, “It is good of you to obey my summons so promptly, Miss Sparkle.”

Twilight’s frown deepened. “I only came because you said there was news about Celestia and Luna. Have you located them yet?”

“The Great and Regretful Trixie wishes that she could answer in the affirmative, but no, it is another matter that requires your attention.”

“I hope you haven’t just wasted my time, Trixie,” Twilight said warningly.

“You wound Trixie. Attend us, and you will see for yourself.” She stepped down from the dais and marched right past Twilight, with me hot on her heels.

Twilight snorted in annoyance and followed. “Where are we going?”

Once the three of us were out of earshot of anypony else, Trixie replied , “To the portal room.”

Twilight glanced at me before replying, “Should this pegasus be coming with us?”

“That pegasus is Trixie’s new Grand Vizier Bark Dells and he is involved with this.”

The purple mare looked startled for a moment before turning a hostile glare upon me. “Are you one of Trixie’s cronies then?”

I gulped and replied, “Firstly, my name is Mark Wells, no matter what Trixie may say. Secondly, I’m just as much a victim here. I’m only the Smug and Annoying Trixie’s Grand Vizier for lack of a better option.”

Twilight looked surprised at my reply. Maybe my description of Trixie helped. I certainly hope so. If everything that I heard was true, the Element of Magic was named that way for a reason. This was probably the most powerful magic-user in the world next to me, and pissing her off was right at the bottom of my list of things to do. I needed to make as positive an impression as possible before she saw what I had done, especially if this mare was my best hope to getting back home.

“Would you care to explain that statement?” Twilight asked.

“I’m afraid that it will have to wait until we get to the portal room. It’s all tied together. Whoops!”

We had just come to my mortal enemy – the stairs that led down to the corridor to the portal room. I glanced at them nervously and then looked back to Trixie. Unfortunately, the blue mare was already halfway down the steps, and Twilight paused to see why I had hesitated.

‘Come on, Mark – you practiced this earlier. Stairs are your friend.’

Moments later, the purple mare was staring at me with a concerned look as I lay on my back at the foot of the stairs.

“Are you alright?” Twilight asked.

“Don’t mind him – he does that a lot,” Trixie said as she continued on down the corridor.

Twilight shot a glare at Trixie before using her magic to right me.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll be fine. Just a little uncoordinated is all.”

Twilight gave me a skeptical look before she hastened after Trixie. I limped along after them both and got there just as the Guard unlocked the door to the portal room. I let the two mares go ahead but I stayed outside next to the Guard, putting my hooves over my ears. When the stallion gave me a questioning look, I said, “Wait for it.”

“WHAT THE BUCK HAPPENED HERE?!”

Lowering my hooves, I gave the Guard a sympathetic glance as he rubbed his abused ears before I entered the room. “Funny story,” I said. “I said almost the same thing when I arrived.”

Apparently Twilight was not amused.

After a long explanation which I survived with only some relatively minor singes, Twilight carefully examined the remains of the destroyed portal mirrors. This process took long enough for Trixie to grow bored and start yawning. I took this as a cue to extract myself from the shooting range of a very angry mare.

“Your Majesty, I believe you have other duties to attend, and I have an appointment to keep.”

The faux alicorn perked up. “You are quite correct, Park Dwells. The Busy and Responsible Trixie must keep to her schedule. Twilight Sparkle, your Empress commands that you make repairing the portals your top priority.”

Twilight snorted. “Like I wasn’t going to anyway, ‘Empress’.”

I had to give Twilight an A+ for the sheer amount of snark that she managed to put into that one word. It was like water off a duck’s back to Trixie though, and she left the room without any further comment. I hastily followed, pausing only long enough to warn the Guard to tread on eggshells while Twilight Sparkle was still there.

“No kidding!” he silently mouthed back.

As we headed back, Trixie inquired about my appointment. When I told her about the flying lesson, she brightened and said, “Ah, yes! The Curious and Studious Trixie must learn how flying is taught for the day she truly earns her wings. She will accompany you.”

I groaned. The last thing that I wanted was an audience, especially a mare with delusions of grandeur! The chances of Trixie gaining wings were somewhere between zero and none. Wait! You can earn wings?

Steady Flight was waiting for me in my room, but he was surprised that Trixie intended to watch. I suspect that he had expected to be a lot more informal with his lessons, but instead Steady ended up trying to instruct me as if he was being tested, and his nerves were really showing. I don’t know which of us felt worse, but at least he wasn’t going to have to worry about crashing to his doom if I got the lessons wrong.

We started on the ground, thank God – to be specific, on the floor in front of open bay windows. He had me extend my wings and gently flap them. He corrected the way I positioned them until I could feel a bit of lift from aerodynamics alone. Then he told me to reach for my flight magic and push it into my wings. I just stared at him for a long moment.

“How the buck am I supposed to do that?” Hey! I’ve already learned how to swear in Pony!

Steady opened his mouth, but was dumbstruck. Ha! Great teacher! Then I kicked myself mentally because that wasn’t fair to Steady. He probably never intended to teach flight school, and because he was born a pegasus, he would just instinctively know about his flight magic. Instinctively? Maybe if I just feel for something that I never had as a human? I continued to flap as Steady had instructed, but I also closed my eyes and attempted to discover something within me. After a minute or two with no results, I opened my eyes once more. The first thing that I saw was the open blue sky and something inside me suddenly yearned to be out there. Abruptly, my wings were alive with energy and I shot up into the air…

Crashed into the ceiling…

Bounced off the top of the railing beyond the window…

Spun out into the courtyard outside…

Froze in fear and plummeted down to the ground.

As I sat spitting the dirt and grass out of my mouth from my one-point touchdown (that is – face first), I heard a certain mare’s laughter behind me. “You are certainly always entertaining, Ballpark Spells!”

Steady fluttered down to land beside me. “Not bad, sir, but I think we’re going to have to work on your landings.”

“If I wasn’t now seeing two of you, I’d punch you,” I groaned before lying down on the cool grass. “Class dismissed!”

I forgave Steady when he produced a bottle of Eyrish Whiskey afterwards. The Unsympathetic and Nosy Trixie had departed, leaving us alone in my room once more. The stallion and I were partaking in the ancient tradition of bitching about the boss. He poured us both a double and it went down smooth.

As he refilled our glasses, Steady said, “Don’t let today’s incident get you down, Mark. You’ve shown that you still have it within you to fly. We’ll have you back in the air in no time.”

That was what I was afraid of. Maybe next time I’d have some of this whiskey before I try to fly again.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Will Mark get to go home before he breaks his neck while trying to learn how to fly? :rainbowhuh:
Good thing that pegasi are resilient.

Pre-reading by Airy Words.

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 6 - Class is In

I woke up before Steady Flight was due to call me, and I lazed in the luxurious comfort of the awesome bed that I had in my room. I could almost imagine that I was on holiday and away from the office. That left me wondering what my boss thought about me being a no-show for a couple of days. And of course, there was Phil. Had he stopped by my house to try to find out what happened to me? We had keys to each other’s homes, so if he came into my bedroom, would he find the mirror broken on that side too? I missed Phil. Steady was a great stallion and already developing into a good friend, but Phil and I had seen one another on a nearly daily basis since we were kids. It was hard to think that I might never see him again.

I was still daydreaming when there was a gentle knock on the door. Considering that Steady must have done the same yesterday, I could only conclude that I had managed to sleep through it because I was so tired. Right now though, I was well-rested even if I was still in bed; that was just plain laziness on my part. It’s not as if I had to punch a time clock now.

“Come in!”

Steady entered and snickered as he saw me sprawled on the bed with no motivation to move. “So – should I open the curtains again?” he asked.

“Don’t you dare! One of these days it’s going to be cloudy and rainy when you come to wake me, and you won’t be able to threaten me with that again.”

“No chance of that for a while. The weather team doesn’t schedule morning showers at this time of year. Nothing but bright, sunny mornings,” he added with a mischievous grin.

I sat up in surprise. “Say what? They schedule showers?”

Steady stared at me sideways as if to determine if I was pulling his leg or not, then he nodded. “Another hole in your memory, it seems. Yeah, the pegasi weather teams ensure that we only have rain when and if we need it. At this time of year, the commercial district relies on a lot of morning traffic, and rain definitely hurts sales. Nothing but sunny days for the rest of the week.”

“So, you’re saying that pegasi control the world’s weather?”

“Oh, no – just in Equestria and a few other places that hire the services of a weather team temporarily.”

And here I thought my world was technologically superior. These ponies could do something that humans could only dream about, and it was so normal that I get weird looks for asking it! Magic for the win, I suppose. What was next? ‘Well, of course, books grow on trees. Where else would they grow?’

I was fully awake now, and my lazy mood was busted, so I heaved myself out of bed… and stayed upright on all four hooves. See that, Mom? Isn’t your son a clever stallion? I learned that trick in just a couple of days! Stop giggling, Mom.

I noticed that Steady had brought some clean clothes, so I started getting dressed. This time, my valet slash friend had added a gold-colored vest and matching bowtie. As much as I didn’t like dressing too formal, I liked this combination. “What inspired you to bring this today?” I asked.

Steady shrugged. “I saw it and thought you might like it. The castle’s resident tailor said that no one had shown much interest in it so far.”

“No one, as in the nobles, I presume?”

“Exactly.”

“Their loss is my gain. Consider this as a contender for favorite outfit already,” I said as Steady tied the bowtie. That done, he stepped aside so I could look at the result in the mirror. I liked it and it complemented my mane color very nicely, but I still had to ask, “No matching pants?”

“The tailor rolled his eyes at me and muttered, ‘Foals!’ when I asked.”

Looks like I had to get used to airing my privates for the duration of my stay in Equestria. I just had to hope that the snazzy attire did an adequate job of distracting from them. “Okay, I give up. Let’s go get breakfast.”

After nothing fantastically unexpected happened during the morning, I was just settling in next to Trixie’s throne when Twilight Sparkle teleported into the room.

“Miss Sparkle!” Trixie called out while waving a hoof. I wasn’t sure why, because the purple unicorn was facing our way and already looking at her. “Miss Sparkle! Do you have any progress to report to the Benevolent and Wise Trixie on your special project?”

Twilight’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Actually, I’d like to speak privately with your ‘Grand Vizier’ for a while. I’m hoping he can prove useful.”

“Yes, I can see how such a rugged stallion would appeal to you.”

I’m not sure which of the two of us gaped more at Trixie, who merely smirked and gave us both a dismissive wave. “Do with him as you will.”

Damn that mare and her mind games. I very carefully walked down the few (thankfully) broad steps of the dais and nodded to the unicorn. “Good morning, your… uh… Elementness?”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think that’s a thing. Just Twilight, please. Come on.”

Twilight led me away from the throne and soon we were in a small meeting room – thankfully on the same floor.

She smiled pleasantly. “How did your flight lessons go yesterday?”

“As well as my ‘stairs lessons’ but with more dirt up my nose.”

Her smile faltered and she lowered her ears sympathetically. “Well, give it time. Flying is something that can’t be learned overnight, especially if your species has never flown before.”

I shook my head. “Oh, I’ve flown plenty of times, but always as a passenger.”

“Ah! So, hot air balloon?”

“Nope. Heavier-than-air craft. Fixed wing with two to four jet engines, though sometimes propeller-driven for private planes.”

It was actually kind of cute to see her ears prick forward as far as they could go, as if being another couple of millimeters closer would pull in more information. Her eyes took on a hungry look and I could have sworn I saw a little drool on the side of her mouth. But after a moment, she closed her eyes and shook her head.

“Uh… As… fascinating as it would be to learn about your heavier-than-air craft, we have to concentrate on the mirror portals.” Her horn lit and a scroll, what looked like a lab notebook, an inkwell, and a quill pen floated out of her saddlebags and arranged themselves on the central table. Doing all of this apparently didn’t require much of her attention because she continued to look at me the whole time. A second scroll and quill pen drifted out of the bag and hung in the air in front of her. “So, to recap what you said yesterday, your portal was one of the two that fell in the very center of the portal room, correct?”

I nodded. “I don’t know which one of the two, but it’s fifty-fifty whether it was the one the guard thought he saw glowing after the Royal Sisters left. Now that I’ve had a chance to think about it more, I kind of doubt that mine is the one they took.”

She looked up and raised an eyebrow.

“I checked up on the world and local news on my car radio earlier that day as Phil and I were driving home, and nothing noteworthy or especially dangerous was happening. Certainly, nothing that would require beings of their special brand of power to deal with such as an asteroid hurtling towards Earth or solar flares.” Twilight’s nose wrinkled as I think she puzzled over some of my words but nodded for me to continue. “Also, their greatest strength is their magic, and as far as I know, there is no magic in my world. Unless there’s something that we haven’t learned about the universe, the natural laws of physics there just might not allow it. The closest we have…” I gave a long, meaningful glance back in the direction of the throne room. “…are sleight of… uh… hoof artists and illusionists who pretend to be something they are not.”

She closed her eyes and stifled a laugh. It took her a few moments to get her composure back, then she squinted in concentration for several seconds. “I can’t fault your logic. I’ll start my efforts on the lighter-framed mirror because that’s the one the guard saw glow.” She looked up at me. “I’m sorry if that ultimately means it will take longer to attempt to fix what is more than likely the portal to your world.”

I just nodded. I had already figured out that was going to be the case. “Is there any other way I can help with your project?”

She shook her head. “Unless you saw them in your world, either in your ‘human’ form or in an equine form, then I can’t think of anything else at the moment.”

“So what do they look like anyway?”

Her eyes went wide. “Oh! That’s right. Other than the stained glass windows, you wouldn’t know unless you went to the Royal Museum and Art Gallery. In fact…!” Her horn lit brighter and a sheaf of papers and a flat framework holding several crystals appeared next to her. “Would you like me to give you the Introduction to Equestria short course? I’ve had a presentation ready just for situations like this!” She practically danced in place and had a beaming smile. Well, who was I to say ‘no’ to a pretty lady… uh… mare?

I sat down at the table to get comfortable. “Sure! As long as there’s not a test at the end!” I winked and gave hopefully my most disarming smile.

“That’s a great idea!” A wide beam of white light projected from her horn through the top sheet which had levitated off of the stack. The title slide was projected on the far wall.

My smile faltered and I eyed the four-inch stack of papers. What had I just signed up for?

“…and other than rumors of a shake-up in the Zebrican nobility, nothing of much interest has happened during the last two weeks. Any questions?”

I sat somewhat stunned at the sheer volume of material that the mare had managed to pack into my brain over the last two hours. Only the most pertinent information about Equestrian history, races and their special magic, culture, social norms, arts and science, transportation, and even sports now waffled around in my brain. Each crystal had projected what seemed like a full-color audio-visual hologram of some sort. What was more amazing was that I think I retained most if not all of it. I suspected Twilight had put some sort of memory-boosting magic into the presentation, but I decided it was safest not to ask about that. I knew her type and I didn’t want to sit here another two hours getting the full explanation.

“No thank you, Twilight. I can’t tell you how helpful that will be to me, and I don’t just mean for my new job!” I toasted her with the wine goblet in my right forehoof. Wait. When had that appeared?

She returned a kindhearted smile. “I’m very glad to help, Mark Wells. It’s the least I can do for a friend.”

“Just Mark is good. And thanks for considering me such.”

“I’m not only the Element of Magic, but also the Element of Friendship. In this world, Mark, Friendship is Magic!”

I had to smile at her enthusiasm. She obviously believed that to the core of her being, and who was I to doubt how crazy the laws of magic were in this crazy world?

She took out a new blank scroll. “Actually, I have a million questions about you and your world, if you don’t mind answering some of them.”

I thought about it. Lunch recess wasn’t for another couple of hours yet judging by the sun streaming through the skylights. And she had really gone all out to help me, so how could I say no?

“Sure. Fire away.”

“OK, thanks!” That same beaming smile. She leaned over her scroll, quill ready. “So let’s start with what you did in your world. What was your profession?”

I stammered a bit. “Ah… it was a job that was very much tied into the different technology we have there. I don’t know if there’s an equivalent here I can use for comparison.”

Her ears seemed to focus in on me even more. “Oh, that’s fantastic! Why don’t you start with some of the base concepts that underlie the technology?”

I thought back to my classes at college. “Okay… So imagine a series of switches, but minuscule in size… just a few hundred atoms across—”

“And how are these manufactured? What materials do they consist of?” Another scroll and pen levitated out of her bags. She was using her magic to scribble on both scrolls simultaneously while keeping her eyes and concentration on me.

“Do you really want me to go off topic and tell you about that?”

Her smile was like a little kid who just got told she could go into the candy store she had been looking at her whole life but now was allowed to buy anything her heart desired. Her eyes were wide and quite literally sparkled. Huh. If that’s the look she gave her parents, maybe that’s how she got her name.

“Okay. You start by growing a wafer of pure silicon crystal, polished perfectly flat…”

…Two hours later...

Twilight was waving a foreleg now as she walked around the table. Her eyes were wide and unfocused – an expression I was getting quite used to. She now had at least twelve scrolls and quills levitating around her, madly scribbling down who-knows-what without slowing down our conversation. “Ah! I get it! So it isn't until the program is run before the determination is made what code to use for a named function! So if the shape object is assigned to be a square during run-time, then the perimeter method called would return four multiplied by the side length. And if the shape is assigned to be a circle, then a different set of code with the same method name returns pi multiplied by the radius squared. I can see how powerful that is! You no longer have to fix the type of shape at compile-time!”

I blinked. I was having trouble believing how quickly this mare had devoured the concepts of semiconductor theory, circuit design, discrete mathematics, machine language programming, higher level programming and compiler design, and now object-oriented programming. Also, she had an uncanny ability to ask questions that led to the next area I was going to cover. This was a serious Brainiac, and the more she was intellectually stimulated, the faster she would pace and the more wildly she would wave a hoof around. If she had her goblet in her hoof at the time, this would lead to a rain of red wine around the room, sometimes landing on the scrolls. I took a peek at one of these and the stain had been carefully outlined with the caption: “Chateau Inglehoof Select Reserve Merlot. Two Sisters Year One. Moderately tannic with hints of raspberries. 3.5 out of 5 horseshoes.”

I looked up and saw the sun was directly overhead. I stood up from the table and stretched my muscles, sore from so much sitting. “…and that answers your first question of what it was I did in my world… with maybe going down the rabbit hole of tangential discussions once or twice.”

She ignored my attempt at humor and continued to walk around, muttering to herself.

“Anyway, it’s time for the mid-day recess. Would you like to join us for lunch?”

More mumbling and pacing. I can’t say I was surprised at a scientist in the grip of discovery ignoring any mention of food. I’d just take my leave then. I moved up closer to her path.

“Well, thank you for the discussion, Twilight. I hope you found it enjoyable.”

And that’s when I found out what a pony kiss feels like. If I hadn’t been so shocked, I might have enjoyed it more. Then in a flash, she was gone. A few seconds later, she teleported back in just long enough to take all of her stuff with her this time.

What was I supposed to think about that? This was something absolutely not covered in the slideshow.

I trotted back to the throne room to see Trixie turning around to sit back on the throne. She smiled. “Ah, Lark Quells! So good of you to join us again. I am sorry that you missed out on your salad, but the Thrifty and Considerate Trixie had your butler eat it so it would not go to waste.”

‘Considerate?’ I thought to myself.

I climbed the dais and stood impassively next to the throne. OK, lady. Two can play at this game. I didn’t have long to wait.

“So how was your rather lengthy meeting with Twilight Sparkle? She is quite attractive, is she not?”

I sighed dramatically and thought back to our four-hour conversation. “Wow. We went all over the place. And I know she doesn’t look it, but she’s quite the kisser.”

Silence. Blessed silence. Again, I knew I only had to keep a straight face and wait her out.

“How interesting. Tell us more.”

I turned to look at her and gave an apologetic shake of my head. “A true gentle-stallion does not speak of such things.” I turned to look back towards the doors that would soon open for the afternoon petitioners.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Trixie slowly turn back to face forward as well. She cleared her throat and put on her regal airs. “The Benevolent and Powerful Trixie orders that Day Court resume!”

The afternoon session was educational but otherwise unremarkable. Much credit goes to Raven Inkwell for instructing me in the unfamiliar topics as we discussed what our advice to Trixie should be. The court was closed and Trixie departed immediately without a word of thanks to either of us. Not that I expected any.

I headed off to my room with Steady Flight following close behind. I had hoped to kick back and relax, but as soon as I had removed my clothes, the stallion pointedly made his way over to the bay window.

“Must I?” I whined.

“I have a job to do, and you need to get your wings back,” he replied firmly.

I sighed but I knew he was right. I walked over to the window, trying for a more positive state of mind. I was a pegasus, and while I had never learned to fly, that was something this species lived for. I could do this!

Unlike the day before, I felt calm and collected. I sensed that maybe, just maybe, the force of Harmony that wove through everything in this land had found a place for me. My wings rose of their own accord, I opened my eyes and tried something different. Instead of just pushing my own magic through my wings, I tried to reach for a balance. To feel the magic that was within and to match its strength exactly with what I sensed around me; to be in perfect resonance with Equestria.

This time, I didn't bounce off the ceiling at all. Instead, my wings dragged my face along the tiles for a dozen feet, then propelled me in a barrel roll over the railing. That became a tight turn through some sort of fruit tree, several rose bushes (the kind with thorns), and finally another one-point landing – this time in a fountain.

With my face still half-submerged in the water, I heard the sound of a pegasus coming to a landing beside me accompanied by the more distant guffaws and hoof-clopping of that damn mare again.

“Are you alright, Mark?” came Steady’s voice.

I barely understood him through a haze of pain and dizziness, but I raised my head to respond. I felt water pouring off my head and I muttered, “I thought you said it wasn’t going to rain today?” I then slumped back down.

Steady chuckled. “Any pegasus that can respond like that after a crash-landing will be fine with a bit of rest. Frankly, I’m impressed. You show a great deal of flight power, but you have yet to re-learn how to control it. I’m surprised that your instincts haven’t kicked in yet.”

I groaned. If I was supposed to rely on my instincts, I was screwed because all mine were human. My greatest talent seemed to lie in falling from heights, without style.

“Let’s get you out of there. I think Princess Trixie has gotten her laughs for the day.”

He heaved my sodden self out of the fountain and somehow managed to lay me across his back. Mercifully, he did not try to fly us to my room. As he trotted through the damaged gardens, each hoofstep jolting my aching head, I admired the sheer amount of detritus that had been left in my wake. The gardeners were going to be horrified, and I wondered what would happen if they learned who the culprit was.

“Steady?”

“Yes, Mark?”

“You do have more of that whiskey, I hope?”

“Half a dozen bottles, actually.”

“Good stallion.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

This chapter was about 2/3rds by Airy Words. At this rate, I will soon be able to leave the writing to him and take all the credit. :rainbowlaugh:

Art by Foxenawolf

New cover art as of this chapter is by Mix-up and their DeviantArt account is Amalgamzaku.

Chapter 7 - Testing Time

I had a hell of a hangover the next morning, but on the plus side, the headache was the only pain that I was feeling. It was remarkable how resilient pegasus bodies were. Steady had assured me that it was so while we were getting drunk last night, but by that time I didn’t care anymore. I even managed to laugh a little when I saw Steady come to wake me up, looking even worse for wear than I felt. He actually cringed when he opened the curtains, like a vampire shunning the sun.

“I’ve… unh… I’ve ordered a hangover cure for you, Mark. It’ll be waiting for you at the breakfast table.”

“Why not bring it here?” I asked as I eased myself into an upright position. Despite my newfound talent for not falling on my face when getting out of bed, I took no chances and hung onto the bedside table for dear life.

“It needs to be made fresh and taken with food.”

“I don’t exactly have an appetite at the moment.”

“You will when you drink the potion.”

I decided not to argue, putting my energy instead into getting myself ready. I hadn’t showered before crawling into bed last night, so I took a quick one before getting dressed. Thank God for magic driers, otherwise, I’d still be there instead of looking at the smirking face of my present employer over the breakfast table. Come to think of it, maybe that wasn’t the best outcome after all.

“Were you celebrating your latest flight a little too much, Ark Smells?”

“Trying to blot out recollection of your tearful concern for me, Trixie; I’m too manly to admit any failure.”

Trixie snorted in amusement. “I recall no tears.”

“Neither do I. Must have worked.”

Just then, Steady arrived with a goblet of something green and fizzy, plus a huge stack of pancakes that made my stomach squirm just looking at them. My valet looked a whole lot better now, and I suspected that he’d had his dose of hangover cure already. Can’t say that I blame him, but I’d get even with him later for making me wait even one minute more.

I took the proffered goblet while lifting a questioning eyebrow at Steady.

“Just chug it down, sir.”

Ever had an electric shock? That’s what it felt like when the concoction hit my stomach. I must have buzzed for several seconds, but then it stopped and the only thing that I now felt was a deep, yawning hunger. I attacked the stack of pancakes like a person coming off a hunger strike.

After the tenth mouthful, and I do mean full, I managed to choke out, “Whath’s haffening?” before shoving another pancake in my mouth.

Steady placed a mug of coffee in front of me as he replied, “The magic potion clears out the system but at the expense of your energy reserves and certain bodily requirements. It forces you to eat until those needs are met.”

I washed down several more mouthfuls before I managed another sentence. “How muth more?”

“I have the second course on its way, sir.”

Why, oh why didn’t I take breakfast in my room? Stuffing my face like a crazy person was bad enough, but watching Trixie pounding the table with her hoof while crying tears of laughter was acutely annoying. Steady must have known this would happen but he did it like this anyway. It reminded me of the jokes Phil and I pulled on each other occasionally. I missed that now, but that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t get even with Steady later somehow.

The second course consisted of eggs Florentine, hash browns, fried mushrooms, and hay-bacon. This was followed by a bowl of fruit yogurt before my raging appetite was finally quelled. I sat back with a groan, finishing the dregs of my second coffee before slamming the empty mug on the table. I didn’t think I was going to be hungry again for a week!

Trixie got up from her chair, cheerfully saying, “No time to dawdle, Snark Swells – Day Court is due to start soon.”

I glared after the departing mare’s rear end before I averted my eyes when I realized what I was staring at. I was going to have to remind the Great and Infuriating Trixie that my job was Grand Vizier, not Court Jester.

#

Trixie and I were just settling down in preparation for Day Court when a messenger abruptly entered the throne room. The earth pony mare hastened to the foot of the dais and bowed deeply.

“O Great and Glorious Empress, I have urgent news!”

“Speak, messenger,” Trixie said imperiously.

“Princess Cadance and Prince Armor of the Crystal Empire have arrived in Canterlot and are coming here to see you, your Majesty.”

“What! Why was Trixie not informed of this sooner?”

“No one knew of their visit until their Highnesses’ special train arrived at Canterlot station. The Royal Guards on duty there sent me here to advise you of their approach.”

I looked at Trixie and quietly asked, “Did you invite them to visit?”

She shook her head. “Trixie has no idea why they are here. They haven’t come to Equestria since Trixie ascended to the throne.”

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” I turned back to the messenger. “How long before their Highnesses arrive?”

“I would say no more than a couple of minutes, sir.”

At least we wouldn’t be left sweating for long. “Thank you. You may go.”

The mare bowed again and departed hastily.

I looked past Trixie to Raven Inkwell on the other side of the throne. “What about you? Any clue?”

Raven looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. “I have been keeping Princess Cadance informed of the state of affairs in Canterlot. Up until now, her Highness has been satisfied with the status quo. Something may have changed recently that has precipitated this visit.”

Raven looked at me meaningfully, and a moment later, Trixie also turned her gaze upon me.

“Hey! Don’t jump to conclusions!” I said nervously.

Whatever either of them might have said was interrupted by the sergeant-at-arms loudly heralding newcomers.

“Announcing Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire!”

A very pink alicorn mare strode regally through the doors accompanied by a snow-white unicorn stallion. The princess was taller and leaner than any pony that I had seen so far, and her mane was ridiculously long. Perhaps not as voluminous as those of Celestia and Luna as I had seen in pictures, but it lacked the ethereal nature of the elder alicorns to lift it. The prince was dressed in a gold-trimmed, red military uniform. They both approached the throne in an unhurried manner.

Trixie put on her best poker face, and I did my best to emulate her. I’d bet that she was wondering what was going to happen when they reached the dais because I sure as hell was! Was Trixie about to be denounced and thrown in the dungeon? Was I going to share a cell with her as a collaborator? Never did anypony’s walk from the door to the throne seem so long!

It was to our shocked surprise when they both halted and bowed. Shining Armor’s expression remained neutral, but Cadance burst out into a genuine smile. “Princess Trixie – thank you for seeing us despite our unscheduled visit.”

Trixie’s stage presence served her in good stead as she maintained a slightly aloof demeanor as she replied, “The Great and Cordial Queen Trixie welcomes you to Canterlot. May we ask the purpose of your visit to Equestria?”

“My husband and I have been watching with great interest how Equestria has been thriving under the reign of Empress Trixie.”

How Cadance said that title without a trace of irony, I have no idea. The thought occurred to me that her political savvy made Princess Cadance a much better actor than the lifelong showmare. That just made me even more nervous.

The pink alicorn continued. “After Twilight Sparkle expressed such great concern at your coronation, I felt it wise to keep abreast of the affairs of the Crystal Empire’s greatest ally in the event that you would be requiring our assistance during the turmoil subsequent to the disappearance of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

Translation – we’ve been watching to see that you didn’t screw things up, pretender to the throne. I was particularly impressed by how Cadance maintained a genuine appearance of concern for the new ruler of this kingdom.

“However, we are most pleased that Equestria has stabilized under its new ruler, and you have had the foresight to employ some competent advisors, in particular, the newcomer to your court.” Cadance turned her gaze upon me, but to my surprise, there was real warmth in her smile. “Twilight informed me about her visit with you, Mark Wells, and your unfortunate circumstances.”

Oh, crap. She knows that I’m not an amnesiac.

“I would like to have a chat with your Grand Vizier during lunch, if I may. Meanwhile, I beg your permission to stay on while you hold court this morning.”

Great – we were going to be judged. I had better be on my ‘A’ game.

Trixie undoubtedly realized the same, but she kept up a bold front. “Trixie welcomes our fellow monarchs’ presence during her Day Court. It will give us something to discuss during our recess. Sergeant-at-Arms! Bring seating suitable for their Highnesses!”

“If it pleases your Majesty,” Shining Armor spoke up for the first time, “I would like to visit the Captain of the Royal Guard while my wife sits in at your court. I wish to catch up with my former comrades.”

A-n-d the prince was going to check to see how the military felt about serving Trixie and probably how they observed the general population’s attitude to Trixie’s rule. Marvelous. I felt like I was back at college and going into my final exam which I had to pass or I’d fail the whole year.

Trixie kept on smiling though. “Of course. Trixie is sure that her loyal Guards will be pleased to see you once more.”

Shining Armor gave Trixie a small smile, bowed, and then left the room just as a unicorn entered, two very comfy chairs carried in the glow of his magic. The stallion placed them beside the dais and bowed to Cadance who inclined her head in acknowledgement of his service before seating herself. She then smiled at Trixie who took it as her cue.

“Let Day Court commence!” she commanded.

I gulped and braced myself. Showtime!

#

I kept expecting the worst, and I had to stop second-guessing myself every time I gave Trixie advice. However, Cadance just sat there listening, a quiet smile on her face. The only time she spoke was in response to the petitioners who greeted her as well as Trixie. It was very unnerving. If she had offered the occasional comment, it would have been better than the silent judging that she had to be doing. I’m sure Trixie was better at hiding it, but I was also fairly certain that she was as nervous as me.

The end of morning court and lunch break could not come soon enough for me. It was with great relief that Trixie declared the recess and we prepared to head off to the dining room for a light snack (for her, not me!) and drinks. Of course, Cadance had already been invited to our lunch, and she was joined by her husband who had returned shortly before the session was done. The waiters served the refreshments before Trixie started a conversation.

“Trixie hopes that you weren’t too bored with this morning’s proceedings. The responsibilities of the Crown are not very exciting sometimes.”

Cadance smiled and replied, “Believe me; I have discovered that for myself. Getting the Crystal Empire up and running again has kept Shining Armor and myself very busy, hence why I have been unable to pay you a visit until now.”

“Trixie can only imagine. You are trying to bring an entire civilization forward a thousand years in every possible way.”

“That is indeed so; however, I was well prepared. I apprenticed under Princess Celestia for decades to master all branches of the Equestrian government.”

I held my breath. There were two ways Trixie could interpret what Cadance had just said.

“But there are only the two of you, Princess. Equestria stands ready to assist its closest ally, the Crystal Empire, in whatever areas you might require aid.”

I let out my breath. Three-point shot. Nothing but net.

Prince Shining Armor glanced at me and smirked. Apparently he had followed my train of thought, read my emotional reactions, and found my fleeting terror to be amusing.

Cadance gave that joy-inducing smile again. “Thank you, Princess Trixie. I will consider your generous offer. I fear it will be some time before the Crystal Empire runs as smoothly as Equestria.”

“Then you do realize that the Responsible and Hard-working Trixie has matters well in hoof?”

“Actually, yes. You do seem to have an effective team supporting you, and I certainly understand the importance of that. Shiny also informs me that the Royal Guard is fairly happy with the status quo until Celestia and Luna return.”

Relief that we had managed to impress the alicorn made the weight on my shoulders start to ease. But then Cadance continued.

“It will be interesting to see how you handle the afternoon session. I believe that you will be dealing with some new and ongoing projects, yes?”

“That is correct, your Highness,” I answered. Gah! Cadance had just been dealing with major projects in her own realm – she probably was very familiar with procedures, and here we were, two amateurs trying to bluff our way through. And Raven! Thank God we had her too. We may yet survive the silent inquisition.

With the agenda firmly set, the conversation turned to discussion of some of the morning’s petitions, in particular, ones that I had a firm hoof in deciding and my reasoning for my advice to Trixie. While many of the decisions that we had made seemed justified, naturally Cadance homed in on the difficult ones. However, one tangentially mentioned Twilight Sparkle and Trixie seized upon the opportunity to turn the subject to the purple mare’s visit and my time spent with the unicorn nerd.

Cadance nodded. “Ah, yes! As I said earlier, Twilight sent me a letter by dragonfire mentioning the fascinating subjects that you discussed with her. She was very excited about some new studies that she plans to do with that knowledge.”

At last, something that I could be comfortable with! I opened my mouth to mention some of the more interesting things that we had talked about, but Trixie beat me to the punch.

“Why don’t you tell the princess about how great a kisser Miss Sparkle is, Woodlark Dwells?”

I froze as the Princess of Love turned her attention on me full blast, her gaze fixed on me like a hawk on its prey. If I thought Twilight's eyes sparkled, that was nothing compared to the grinning Alicorn of Snu Snu.

“Twilight didn't mention that.”

I wilted under the laser-focus of the pink alicorn. I managed to mumble out, “Gee. Imagine that. Oh, look! It’s nearly time for the afternoon court session to start. Please excuse us, Your Highness, but Princess Trixie and I have to prepare.”

Cadance waved a hoof dismissively. “It can wait until later. Shiny and I will join you soon. We have a little errand to attend to first.”

Trixie replied, “We look forward to you both joining us once again.”

That better be the Royal We, because I had no desire to start that subject up again! Never had my daily crashing lessons sounded so appealing!

After Shining and Cadance left the room and started down the hallway, I turned to Trixie and hissed, “Thanks for throwing me under the carriage like that!”

She gave me what was supposed to be a wounded look, but it was ruined by her smirk. “Why, whatever do you mean, Earmark Gels?”

“Blabbing to the Princess of Roses and Baby Showers about Twilight and I kissing!”

“Oh, that! Well, the Kind and Refined Trixie was beginning to feel a tiny bit uncomfortable with the direction of Princess Cadance’s questions. And because your role as Grand Vizier is to provide whatever assistance your sovereign requires, Trixie decided that your dalliance with Miss Sparkle was the perfect distraction.”

I almost snarled. “It wasn’t a dalliance! It was...” I stopped myself mid-sentence, staring at the mare. She looked at me expectantly.

“Yes? Tell us more.”

I closed my mouth and glared at her. “Nope. Not gonna get tricked into telling you. No way.”

A touch of disappointment entered the mare’s face. She opened her mouth.

“Oh, poo.”

Except that had come from the doorway, not from Trixie. Both of us whipped our heads around to see the Alicorn of Love leaning around the door frame with a hoof over her mouth.

I pointed a hoof. “Ahhhh! Eavesdropper!”

She was entirely unabashed. “Well, of course! You don’t get to be in my profession without knowing how to uncover secrets.”

I wasn’t in the mood and I dropped any pretence. “Get lost, Queen of Sneaky-Sneaky!”

Trixie looked shocked, but for her part, Cadance let out a long laugh. “Oh, I’ve never heard that one before! Aren’t you fun? Yes, I could see this working out quite well.”

I frowned and continued to wave her away like a pesky fly.

After she had gone back down the hallway again, Trixie turned to stare at me. “What were you thinking? You can’t treat Princess Cadance that way!”

I snorted. “You’re right. You can’t. I can... and just did.”

#

On the way back to the throne room, and after Trixie had calmed down, I asked what I couldn’t before. “Why aren’t you more freaked out by Princess Cadance just sitting there in judgement and not saying anything?”

She arched an eyebrow. “What other choice would she have?”

I walked next to her for several steps before I finally said, “I’m missing something.”

Trixie smiled. “Consider the situation from the perspective of power. In Equestria, Princess Cadance and Shining Armor sit below the dais, symbolizing their lack of authority here. If Cadance were to provide unsolicited advice, it would be seen by those in Day Court as undermining my authority. Similarly, if Trixie asked her opinion on all but the narrowest of topics, Trixie would be seen as weak. The only subjects that Trixie could consult with Princess Cadence would be those concerning love or the Crystal Empire, because she is the undisputed authority on those.”

I looked down as I walked, mulling that over. “That clears things up, thanks. I guess I’m just not used to thinking in those terms.”

“Why not, Stark Parallels? Does your country of birth not have a King or Queen?”

“Nope. We outlawed the aristocracy when the country was founded over two hundred years ago.”

Now it was Trixie’s turn to think that over. “Truly?”

“Yep. Pandering to nobles has pretty much been bred out of our makeup. My countrymen have a tendency to treat everyone, everywhere as equals.” I smiled at a memory that brought up. “Or as my best friend Phil would say, ‘All men and women are created equal until they prove themselves to be inferior.’ ”

Trixie continued to look at me until we entered the throne room. “Trixie believes that explains more than a little about who you are, Monarch Quells.”

#

Thankfully, the afternoon session was fairly humdrum and there was little I felt I could contribute. It seemed knowing a bit more about Equestria now meant that I now knew how little I knew about Equestria. When it came to the commercial interactions with the Crown, I badly needed to know more. This was far more in Raven’s area of expertise than mine. I acquired a clipboard and started making notes about the subjects I needed to start studying. Note to self: between having to sharpen the point periodically and needing an inkwell (not the frowny kind), quills suck.

“Ah! Flim and Flam!” exclaimed Trixie.

I looked up to see the last two petitioners for the day. The pair of yellow unicorns with red and white manes and tails bowed simultaneously to their monarch. Their identical, synchronized movements confirmed what I already suspected – they were twins. They both also wore the same charcoal-colored, double-breasted suit jackets and burgundy ties. From my limited exposure to the nobility and business elite, I thought they looked like very tastefully and conservatively dressed bankers. In fact, the only obvious difference was that one had a prominent red mustache. Automatically, I wondered if this was artificial. If so, it would certainly allow any competent defense attorney to make a strong case for a not-guilty verdict based on witnesses being unable to positively identify the suspect – now why did I immediately think of that when seeing these two?

Trixie’s smile seemed genuine. “It’s been quite some time since we last crossed paths. I think it was after all three of us needed to leave that village outside of Baltimare because of… weather.”

I tried hard to suppress a smirk. More likely a sudden shower of rotten fruit best case and pitchforks worst case. I suppose I should have guessed that they were shysters from their names and the fact that Trixie ran in the same circles as them back before she reformed.

They lifted their heads and the mustached one said, “Hail, Great and Philanthropic Trixie! Empress of the East, Queen of the West, and Duchess of all in between!”

To my surprise, Trixie did not seem to soak up the approbations at all. Instead, her eyes narrowed and her smile turned a bit nasty. “Oh, Trixie knows both of you too well for that to work on her. Anyway…!” Her happy expression returned. “Introductions are in order.”

“Boys, on my right is Grand Vizier Stark Smells. On my left is my assistant Raven Inkwell.” Trixie looked at me, still smiling. “These… gentle-stallions… are Flim…” pointing to No-Mustache, “…and Flam,” now indicating Mr. Mustache. “You’ll never find a more hard-working, enterprising, faster-escaping pair of equines in all of Equestria, which is what made being around them so much fun.” She looked them over. “You two certainly have moved up in the world.”

Flim spoke up. “As if we should be the ones talking.” Trixie smirked at this but her eyes did not lose their friendly gaze. Instead, she nodded slightly, inviting them to continue.

Flam picked up on the cue. “We have indeed found success and station by concentrating our efforts on providing a boon for those who need it most. Our organizational skills, fundraising acumen, and networking talents have focused on a project that I know is dear to everypony’s heart.”

Flim took over. The cadence of their voices and practiced, smooth delivery for an audience reminded me of something – maybe circus ringmasters. “After many false starts over many years, we have succeeded where all others have failed. The Double F Investment Foundation is proud to announce that as of early last month, ground has finally been broken for the Canterlot Foals’ Hospital!”

There were some ooooohs and aaahhhs from the citizens present. I saw some of the nobles turn to each other with hoofshakes and nods.

While Flam floated shiny brochures out of his saddlebags to the three of us on the dais, Flim continued. “With the support of brave nobles such as High Station…” The aforementioned stallion nodded with a smile. “…and many more citizens of Canterlot, the Foal’s Benefit Fund is well on its way to providing a special and caring place for Canterlot’s, no all of Equestria’s most vulnerable citizens!” The applause was louder this time. I started to breathe more heavily and felt my ears lay flat on my head. What was wrong with me?

Flam took over the presentation and turned around to face the crowd. “For…the…Foals! For…the…Foals!” As he pumped a forehoof in the air, soon most of those present were cheering along – excepting the guards and those on the dais, of course.

After this had gone on for several rounds, Trixie stood. The cheers died away respectfully. “Most commendable, Flim and Flam. I’m very impressed with what you have accomplished. However, was there a reason you came to Day Court beyond announcing your progress so far?”

“Indeed, your majesty!” said Flim. “While at the current pace, the project is slated to be completed in thirty months, with the investment of some nominal funding from the Royal Treasury, my brother has calculated that the project can be completed in twenty months. Over the course of that time, the fund will be able to restore the entirety of the funding to the Crown. It is truly a win-win situation!”

“And!” began Flam, “In return for the temporary 250,000-bit contribution, we would change the name of the center to the Royal Canterlot Foals’ Hospital!” There was a great deal of discussion now amongst those gathered.

I tried to speak, but Flim raised a hoof and preempted me. “Now, I know many of you are asking how we could possibly guarantee repayment of everyone’s bits, plus interest… and have enough left over to build the hospital; furnish and equip it; hire the doctors, nurses, and specialists; and even have sufficient funding left over to cover expenses for the first four years of operation? The answer lies with my genius brother.” Flam smiled abashedly and took a small bow.

“He has developed a sophisticated investment strategy that combines real estate, stocks, bonds, and commodities. His return to investors during the first twelve months has been a consistent five percent per month! Far better than any investment vehicle available at a stodgy bank or institution…” He winked to the nobles. “…outside of getting kissed by Lady Luck in Las Pegasus, that is!” This was met with delighted laughter.

Flam raised his head. “So what do you say, Empress? Why should the Crown support this magnificent cause? Well, it’s obvious!” He turned back to the crowd and pumped his forehoof up and down. “For…the…foals! For…the…foals! For…the…foals!” By this point, all the nobles and commoners were gleefully shouting along, without any care for whether the pony next to them was of the same social class or not. I started to hear music swelling up from all around us, in time with the chanting.

“Cease!” commanded Trixie in her magically-amplified stage-voice. The music died out and all eyes moved to her. She nodded in acknowledgment to everyone who heeded her command, then looked to Raven. “Miss Inkwell?”

The white unicorn tapped her quill against her lips for several moments in thought. Apparently, she was somewhat accustomed to being the center of attention for everyone in court, including her ruler. It did not seem to faze her one bit. “On the face of it, providing we have sufficient written guarantees, I don’t have any objections.”

“Excellent!” Trixie turned to me. Her smile faltered a bit as she saw my face and how my front hooves were shaking. Quickly, I forced myself to be calm and put on a neutral expression. “Your thoughts, Grand Vizier?”

I took a calming breath and faced the twin ponies. I smiled and slowly descended the dais. “A once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity, wouldn’t you say, gentle-stallions?”

They both nodded their agreement and chuckled. Flim said, “Indeed! The contribution of the Great and Generous Trixie, ruler of Equestria will go down in history as the greatest moment of her reign, regardless of how many centuries that might be!”

I smirked a bit and looked steadily into Flim’s eyes. I decided to up the game a bit. “Now let’s be honest here. In return for 300,000 bits, you are asking for a full partner in the construction of the hospital, are you not?”

The two shared a look that lasted only a few seconds but allowed them to come to some sort of agreement. “It is as you say, Grand Vizier! Thank you for putting it so clearly.” They then bowed in sync again. Creepy. Cool, but creepy.

“Excellent!” I smiled as I brought up the brochure that was in my hoof. “The Court will require more than these very professional flyers to enter into that kind of arrangement.” I turned to Flam. “I see you brought your saddlebags. May I view your business plan?”

Their smiles froze. Flam recovered first. “I’m most terribly sorry, sir. We left it back in our office. My deepest apologies.”

I frowned. “That is unfortunate.” I glanced at the back of the brochure. “The hospital is being built at the corner of Cloverleaf Avenue and Star Blaze Lane?”

Flim answered. “Actually, the correct term is that the building is being ‘constructed,’ and we would be most pleased to give you a tour of the job site at any time of your convenience.” Both ponies smiled.

I waved a hoof. “It probably isn’t necessary for me to see the business plan. As your future business partner, I need to see the books you have with you, please. I’ll admit I don’t have a background as a financier, but I will need this act of faith.” I stepped back and waited impassively.

They shared a much longer look this time before Flam floated over a small spiral notebook from one of his saddlebags which was then quickly shut again. Instead of taking the proffered notebook, I looked back at Raven and waved her down to come to my side. When she was close, I softly said to her, “All of them.”

She pursed her lips and nodded. Outside of their view, her green magic lifted both of Flam’s saddlebag flaps and levitated out three more notebooks along with a stack of brochures. Their expression turned to shock as the paperwork floated past them. Flam cried out, “Those are my notes and formulae for my investment strategies! Also, all the confidential information from our investors!”

I replied, “Rest assured that the Crown of Equestria is accustomed to keeping secrets and protecting those who ally with them.” I turned to Raven. “Miss Inkwell, please place a copy of these items in the Royal Archives for safekeeping and return with the originals after you have had a chance to study them, please.” She nodded and disappeared in a flash of magic along with the items floating in her aura.

I looked back to the pair, who were not looking nearly as happy as they had been just moments before. I gave them a very genuine smile. “Well then! What shall we do while we wait for Miss Inkwell to return?” I walked back to the dais, noting Cadance’s intrigued expression as I did. After climbing it and turning around. I smiled wider. “I know! Gentle-stallions,” I said, looking down on the pair. “Which bank did you say is the one used by the Double F Foundation for the creation of the Royal Canterlot Foals’ Hospital?”

“Wells Farrier of Manehattan. Their main branch on Fifth Avenue.”

I nodded, then looked to one of the unicorn mage-pages. “What is your name, please?”

Her eyes went wide and she trembled out her reply. “V-v-vintage Scroll, Your Eminence.” Was that really my honorific? No clue. I was much more accustomed to ‘Hey, you.’

“Vintage Scroll, please go to the bank and bring back whoever is the floor manager at this time. By order of the Crown,” I added, glancing at Trixie for affirmation.

She seemed intrigued by my actions and indicated her agreement.

The page nodded vigorously for a few seconds then closed her eyes. She had to take a deep breath before her horn lit and she teleported away. New on the job and a bundle of nerves – I knew the feeling. Just not right now.

“What else? What else?” I looked back to see that the twins had retreated to the edge of the crowd. “Flim and Flam! Yes, I see you there! Please stay until Miss Inkwell returns.”

They turned around and Flim spoke up. “Our apologies, but we just remembered a very critical meeting with our general contractor. We must—”

“Nonsense!” I pointed to the two soldiers closest to them. “Your names, please, Guardsmen?”

The pegasus on the left spoke up with a feminine voice. “Lieutenant Buried Spear and Sergeant Crimson Boulder, Grand Vizier.” Oops. Guardsponies then. I’d make up for that later. Still, couldn’t ask for better names, and the Lieutenant was carrying a spear, too! I nodded to the twins. “Please ensure our two guests stay exactly where they are.”

Lord High Station separated himself from the crowd. “Your majesty, I must protest this ruffian’s treatment of these two fine businessponies. They have done more for Equestria than—”

“Lord High Station,” I interrupted. “The Crown is still considering the business proposition from the Double F Foundation. The only ponies who have the right to speak at the moment are Empress Trixie, myself, and any business partners of Flim and Flam. Do you consider yourself to be such?”

The pompous lord appeared to be taken aback by my temerity to address him that way, then he hesitated, possibly clued in by some remnant of prey instinct going off like a siren in his head. After a moment, he looked up at Queen Trixie.

She smiled. “Well, Your Lordship?”

He shifted uncomfortably for a bit then looked around at his fellow nobles. Apparently not seeing unwavering support there, he retreated – physically and from the conversation. “No, Your Majesty.”

I ignored him and walked up to the lone remaining unicorn page and gave him my brochure. Before I could ask, he volunteered, “Bright Candle at your service, sir!” Quick on the uptake.

“Please take a Chief Building Inspector from the Royal Assessor’s office…” (thank you for the cram session, Twilight!) “…to the construction site. Have him or her return in thirty minutes with a preliminary report.”

With a nod, he was gone.

I walked back up to my place on the dais. In the intervening time, Trixie had returned to the throne. I smiled back at the audience. “And now, we wait.”

Trixie had Steady bring refreshments for both of us in the interim, as well as for our royal guests. I noted the distinctive taste of something to calm the nerves that was probably not in Cadance and Shining’s cups though. I was slightly less peeved with Trixie for the Twilight comment after that.

I heard Cadance approach the throne during the recess and start making small talk about the Crystal Empire with Trixie. I wondered if I was expected to do the same with Shining Armor but decided I didn’t care. Instead, I kept my ears pointed forward and stared out over the ponies in front of me.

About a half-hour later, a dull red, elderly unicorn mare with a T-square for a cutie mark trotted into the room and stopped before the throne. Her coat was peppered with grey and her mane and tail had turned completely that color. Both were tightly braided. She glared at Trixie, then gave the smallest of fractional bows. “I understand the snap inspection was of some importance. Let me give my report so I can get back to my work.”

I nodded. “Thank you, Ms…?”

She looked at me for a moment, snorted, then proceeded like I didn’t exist. I was starting to like this mare more and more. She reminded me of my maternal grandmother.

“I pulled the records and permits for 501 Cloverleaf Avenue. The basement excavation inspection was passed on its third try exactly thirty-five days ago. Plans for the foundation were approved the same day but no pony has been called out to the site to inspect that work. No plans have been submitted for any further construction.”

She frowned even deeper, though I don’t know if it was professional disgust at the state of the construction site or personal disdain of the two ponies on the dais she was looking at. “The foundation has been poured on site but it violates twelve building codes in exactly forty-seven locations around the site. The nature of the concrete pour makes repair impossible. The girder-work frame attached to the foundation will also need to be dismantled. The majority of the framework materials could be reused once the foundation is replaced. Of more concern were the delivery crates of plumbing fixtures, roof shingles, and even shrubbery placed throughout the structure at the site. These materials would not be needed for months, even in the unlikely event that the structure reached that phase of construction by then.”

She stomped a hoof. “When I yelled… ahem… when I enquired with the few ponies on-site to find the general contractor in charge of construction, I was informed he was from either Hoofington, Mare-itonia, or Salt Lick City, take your pick. Also, that he had been fired two weeks ago with no replacement seen since that date. May I go now?”

Trixie nodded and the building inspector chose the straightest line to exit the room, requiring several ponies including two Royal Guards to scramble out of her way.

A minute later, Raven teleported back to her spot next to the throne. She looked between Trixie and me.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie asks you to give your report to all present.” Trixie sounded pleased, but I could tell her smile was forced.

The unicorn adjusted her glasses and referred to her clipboard. “I did a quick read through of every page in these notebooks. Flam’s investment strategy is not present. There are some calculations detailing monthly totals for building supplies. That’s this one.” She lifted the thin notepad that Flam originally had given me. “The remaining three notebooks are ledgers for incoming investments and outgoing interest payments of five, ten, or fifteen percent per month, plus outgoing payments of ten to twenty percent for a finder’s fee. All investors are marked with one or more code numbers rather than a name. Until I have that key, I will not be able to determine who made what investment.” She looked up.

I nodded. “Thank you, Miss Inkwell.”

My ears turned at the sound of hooves rapidly approaching.

A bespectacled stallion entered the room and literally slid into a kneeling bow in front of the throne. His dark grey suit jacket was darker in a few places from sweat and his blue tie was askew. His coat was a pale yellow and his mane and tail, now slicked down in places with sweat, was blue striped with green. His cutie mark was an old-style cash register. “Baron… ~gasp!~ …Baronet Even… ~gasp!~ …Even Ledger at your service… ~gasp!~ …Duchess Trixie! I came … ~gasp!~ …as quickly as I could!”

Trixie waved a hoof dramatically. “Your Kind and Generous Empress is pleased by your dedication to answering her call promptly. Please take a moment to catch your breath.” She then nodded to me.

I waited for the earth pony to collect himself and for Steady Flight to assist him in getting his clothes back in order. Good lad!

I cleared my throat. “Baronet Even Ledger, do you recognize the twin ponies over there?” I pointed with my hoof at the two stallions who seemed to be wilting under the constant gaze of the guardponies who would not take their eyes off their charges.

The banker smiled. “Yes! Lords Flim and Flam have been customers of ours for some time now.”

“Can you tell me the nature of their business with your bank?”

His smile fell. “Ah, I’m sorry, Grand Vizier. Without a judicial court order, I’m afraid bank confidentiality laws prevent me from discussing it.”

Damn! “Even in general terms?”

He nodded. “The laws are quite clear. I’m sorry.”

Double damn! Didn’t think of that. I heard an amused snort amongst the gathered nobles. I ignored it.

“No matter! Let me describe a situation to you that does not include any ponies by name, and you tell me if it sounds at all familiar. Does that sound reasonable? Would that run afoul of any privacy laws?”

The earth pony took off his glasses and cleaned them with a handkerchief while he blinked, deep in thought. He then put his glasses back on and looked back at me. “No. As long as there are no names or descriptions of individuals involved, that would be allowable.”

“Excellent!” I felt very calm now. “Imagine that you have a fairly new account, and the deposits and withdrawals are in ever-increasing amounts of bits, both in the size of the average transaction and the frequency. All transactions are in coins, not paper or credit or other means. It starts with nobles making fairly modest deposits, followed by smaller withdrawals to those same nobles on a monthly basis. Over time, the proportion of ponies making deposits are increasingly commoners. Lately whenever a new customer makes a deposit to this new account, more and more often it consists of their entire life savings. If one of these customers comes from your bank, they are reluctant to discuss why they are depositing their entire financial future with this new account and become defensive and antagonistic if questioned further. Occasionally, a percentage of the new customer’s funds are immediately transferred to an older investor. Lastly, nobles who are the oldest investors receive the largest payments, both in number of bits and in a higher percentage of the new customer’s funds that they draw in.”

Even Ledger couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Flim and Flam, then back to me. “How did…how did you know?”

I wandered down the steps and towards the trembling pair of well-dressed ponies. “It’s quite simple, really. There was never any investment done by these two. There was no plan to ever build a hospital. And most importantly, there was never any intention of paying back any of the investors.” Every pony started talking at once. I waved over several more Guards to form a ring around Flim and Flam. I suspected they were going to need protection in another minute.

My voice cut through the noise. “The way the scheme works is like this!” Everypony settled down. “An interest rate far higher than what can be gotten from banks is offered and sustained for a short time. Other ponies see how successful this is and put in their money. That money is used to pay the interest to the first set of ponies. Any pony who is unwilling to invest even more is given a higher interest rate. Finder’s fees encourage current investors to recommend others to invest. After a while, the outflow of money can’t be sustained by the addition of new investors. Then the scam artists have a choice: either take what is left in the nest egg and leave, or get a new investor with deep pockets…” I waved at Trixie. “…who will restore faith in a brand new group of suckers to lose their money.” The crowd started talking again, their voices rising to shouts.

Behind me, I heard Trixie stamp her hooves, the sound amplified somehow. That settled everypony down. “The Crown and the ponies of Equestria thank the Grand Vizier for the service he has done for us this day.” She had to frown and extend her wings before ‘thank yous’ started drifting out of the crowd.

Her wings folded back under her cloak. “As ruler of Equestria, I will ensure the victims of this crime are fully compensated.”

I turned to the mare and spoke loud enough for every pony to hear. “I’m afraid that is not advisable, Your Majesty.”

Raven moved up beside Trixie and said, “The Grand Vizier is correct; the Royal Treasury cannot be called upon to compensate for every fraudulent loss incurred by the citizens. Once the precedent is set, judges would expect this to happen for all future cases.”

I nodded. “Also, every pony entered into the fund of their own will. I recommend that we provide accountants to untangle the mess of exactly where every bit went. Obtain an injunction through the judicial courts to gather every coin in the brothers’ accounts along with every interest or finder’s fee payment made. Only then will investors receive back a portion of what they invested, with all ponies losing the same percentage.”

Raven followed up. “You can also suspend debt collection from the ponies who lost everything and provide them with public services until they receive their payment.”

Trixie looked down at the floor, ears drooping. She spoke softly. “And the hospital?”

I looked at Raven and she nodded sadly. “A total loss, Your Highness.”

Trixie sighed and frowned for several seconds. “Yes. I don’t like it but I see the necessity. Make it so.” Her voice returned to its normal volume for addressing everypony at Day Court. “Guards! Take these two to adjacent cells and have two soldiers watching them at all times.”

“Yes, My Queen!” replied Buried Spear. The guards before and behind her moved into formation around Flim and Flam, leading them away from the court. A shield spell was erected after the first rotten fruit (where had that come from, anyway?) was tossed, impacting Crimson Boulder on the side of the helmet. Nobles and their aim, I suppose.

“Day Court is now adjourned.”

By the time I turned around, Trixie was already halfway to the door behind the throne. I glanced towards Princess Cadance who appeared to be about to follow. I gave her a hard look and the briefest shake of my head before hurrying to catch up to Trixie. I found her in the hallway just beyond the door, which I closed behind me. She was slumped against the wall and her wings were canted at a completely unnatural angle. She looked down at something in her hoof. I poked my head around and saw that it was the flyer for the hospital. Let it be said that a similar situation years ago involving a frying pan made me not completely clueless when it comes to emotionally distraught women. I sat next to her, waiting for her to speak first.

“Trixie failed them,” she whispered. Then she sniffled. “She failed all of her ponies.”

I shook my head. “You couldn’t have known. I’m sure this is the first time this con has been seen in Equestria.”

She bowed her head. “But Trixie did know. She knew better than anyone how everything is just a get-rich-quick scheme to them. They played her like a fiddle. Trixie was stupid and fell for it like the biggest patsy in the whole world.”

I didn’t have a good answer to that, so I waited.

She wiped her eyes with her cape and brought her sniffling under control. She looked up at me with bloodshot eyes. Huge, freaky, totally out-of-proportion-for-the-size-of-her-face bloodshot eyes. “Yet you recognized them, thank Harmony.”

“My best friend back on Earth is a… stallion named Phil. His dad passed away years ago but set up his mom okay thanks to savings and life insurance. Then she got a phone call from an acquaintance running a Ponzi scheme like this one. She put in everything, even borrowed money because it seemed like a good idea. The bastard even told her how proud her son would be that she was doing all this independently.” I wished I could clench my fists, but that option was gone now.

“She was left with no money and a mountain of debt. The bastard got six months in prison for ruining her life but all his money is hidden in off-shore accounts. Her lawyer dropped her civil case because he decided it wasn’t worth the twenty-five percent he would have to work hard to track down. Now she just drifts between her children’s houses, feeling like a failure who doesn’t deserve to even talk to anyone. So, yeah.” I looked up into Trixie’s eyes. “I sure as hell recognized it when I saw it.”

Trixie hugged me, which was a first. “Trixie is sorry for your friend’s loss. Trixie can only say ‘Thank you’ for helping her and all of Equestria today.” She pulled back. “This could have… my mistake could have jeopardized the Crown and all those who serve me.”

I vaguely remembered what happened in Albania in the early 1990’s. “You’re not wrong. Governments have fallen over these schemes.”

She took a few deep breaths and straightened her wings. She nodded to herself. “Trixie will do better. The Great and Powerful Trixie will be the ruler that Equestria deserves.” Trixie looked at me with conviction. “I will protect My Little Ponies.” She smiled.

I smiled back. So she could say that word. Now for the other two.

“ ‘Thank you, Mark Wells?’ ” I suggested with a grin.

The blue unicorn put on her aristocratic air and looked to my flank, then back at my face. “It is unfortunate that your cutie mark is a black cloud pierced by a lightning bolt. It should have been a branch with a single fork.” She walked away, calling over her shoulder. “Thank you again, Dowser.”

I blinked. ‘Dowser’? ‘A branch with a single fork’? Like a dowsing rod for finding where to drill a well? Oh! I got it. ‘What does a dowser do?’ I chuckled. Well, it was at least a step in the right direction… I think.

#

It took twenty minutes to extricate myself from the royal clothesline that evening, but I noticed a distinct lack of laughter coming from the castle. As for Steady Flight though…. I’m keeping a list, buddy!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Seems like Trixie has had her wake-up call.

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 8 - Errands

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” I asked Trixie as breakfast was served – normal sane proportions this time.

“Trixie must meet with her ministers this morning. The Responsible and Concerned Trixie feels that she needs to have a firmer hoof in the affairs of her kingdom.”

It seemed that yesterday’s incident was still having repercussions. “Do you need me there also?”

She shook her head. “The ministers will be required to give Trixie an initial verbal report on the state of affairs. If they have any concerns to raise, Trixie will listen to them and give them due consideration. Any decisions will be deferred until a follow-up meeting at which time Trixie will expect a full and comprehensive written report for thorough assessment.”

I chewed thoughtfully on a vege-sausage before replying, “Do you suspect anything untoward happening within the ministry?”

“Recent events have made it obvious to the Great and Busy Trixie that she has not given sufficient time and attention to her underlings. Equestria is best served if she keeps them on their tippy-hooves.”

Heh! Translation – fraudsters of Flim and Flam’s ilk will be found and no longer tolerated, not to mention other slackers, tricksters, and incompetents. If I knew Trixie, and after a mere few days with the mare I thought I had her pretty well pegged, her pride had been stung, and no one in the employ of the Crown was going to exacerbate that. Her empathy for the common pony was greater than before, but I considered that a work in progress.

“Any suggestions about what I should do?”

“Trixie suggests that you spend the morning in Canterlot and get more familiar with the city and its citizens.”

I nodded. I think I felt ready to leave the relative calm of the palace and its grounds and mingle with the inhabitants of this fairytale city. At least I wouldn’t look like a slack-jawed yokel like I must have when I first arrived.

The blue unicorn wasn’t finished, however. “Trixie also thinks that it’s a perfect time to get a bit more ambitious with your flying lessons. Besides, Trixie is tired of listening to complaints from the groundskeepers about damage to the gardens and sundry items that you crash into.”

I nearly choked on the pancake that I was eating. Just because yesterday’s attempt to fly had been the least painful so far, did not mean that I thought that I was anywhere near airworthy yet. “But—”

“No ‘buts’, Watermark Clamshells – Trixie expects you to put more effort into… re-learning how to fly.”

If there hadn’t been a servant within earshot, I’m sure she would have come up with a more pointed jab than just mangling my name. Where did she come up with some of these? I hadn’t heard her repeat one yet! I swear she must have looked up all the words that rhyme with my names just to piss me off. Nevertheless, she had a point. I was never going to learn how to fly if I didn’t try and try again, and it was obvious by now that she wasn’t going to let me stay on the nice safe ground. If I balked, I had a feeling that she wouldn’t hesitate to order a pegasus Royal Guard to pick me up and drop me from a great altitude while calling it tough love.

“Okay, Your Royal Bossiness,” I conceded.

Trixie gave me her usual smug smile. Yeah, she hadn’t changed all that much.

“Are you bucking kidding me?!” I screamed.

Steady Flight just rolled his eyes. “No, I’m not. How can even amnesia make you forget about cloud-walking?”

Steady had decided to take me up the trail that ascended Mount Canterhorn. Admittedly it had excellent views of the city and the surrounding area, but that wasn’t the main reason why we had come this way. He suggested that it might be a better place to try learning how to control my flight magic. I found that hard to believe because it had trees and rocks aplenty to crash into, but I figured he had something else in mind. When I found out exactly what, I thought he had lost his marbles.

As I had been told previously, the weather pegasi kept the sky clear over Canterlot at this time, so I hadn’t seen them interact with clouds before. Up this high on the mountain though, some clouds persisted but were left alone as they did not affect the city’s weather, apparently, and they contributed to maintaining the snow that capped the peak. We had reached a plateau which brought us just above a couple of layers of clouds, and now the view downward was obscured by a billowing mist. That’s when and where Steady had freaked me out by telling me to walk out onto the cloud.

“Is that a euphemism for taking a blind leap into thin air?” I asked.

He gave me a flat look, then rather than answering, he turned around and stepped off the cliff… and walked a few yards out onto the cloud.

My jaw surely must have hit the ground as I gaped in disbelief at the sight. Flying ponies had been enough of a stretch, but at least they had wings. This just did not compute according to my logical brain.

“Are you going to get out here or not?” Steady asked impatiently.

“Hell, no!” I replied vehemently, my animal hindbrain shrieking in terror at the thought.

“Alright, you forced me to do this.” He took off and flew to hover over me. He reached down to put all four legs around me and lifted me off the ground.

I immediately figured out what he was going to do and I started squirming to try to get out of his grasp. I succeeded, but a little too late. We were already over the cloud, and I screeched in terror as I plummeted…

… all of six feet before I bounced and then rolled on what felt like a soft trampoline. I could barely make myself look, but when I did, all I saw was a sheet of thick vapor underneath me. Buck me! I was lying on a cloud.

“This is so impossible,” I muttered.

“Obviously not,” Steady replied. “Anyway, better to crash into one of these than a tree or a fountain, am I right?”

I found it hard to argue with that logic, but it wasn’t logic that had me quivering in fear on top of a cloud. “I still don’t like heights!” I protested.

Steady obviously had had enough of my reticence because he snorted with annoyance and said in his best drill instructor’s voice, “Listen up, Mark! Stop acting like a foal and get your act together. You’re a pegasus; even if you’ve forgotten everything about being one, you nevertheless are one still. You were born to fly, so get your plot off the cloud, spread your wings, and fly!”

Very motivational. It might have even worked if I wasn’t a human in a pony body. Still, my pride had been stung, and I was damned if was going to look like a baby in front of my new friend. I forced myself up onto my hooves and took a tentative step. The cloud remained firm beneath me, so I took another. The surface texture was spongey but firmed up after it gave about an inch. It reminded me of Oobleck, the non-Newtonian fluid that stiffened upon impact, except that these clouds remained firm if I stood still. Perhaps pegasus magic firmed the attraction between the water molecules, and flight magic decreased the effect of gravity.

Curiously, now that I had given myself a ‘scientific’ explanation of how cloud-walking worked, I felt far more confident about actually doing it. I walked around a bit, then experimentally hopped up and down. The cloud still held firm.

“Having fun?” Steady asked with a smirk on his face.

I begrudgingly admitted that I was. “It’s a little like a fairground thrill ride – it has an element of danger while still actually being safe.”

“I never thought of it like that. However, this is just the first stage. Now I want you to step off the edge of the cloud and glide down to the next one. Don’t try to power fly yet – just hold your wings out like this and feel how the air flows over them.”

He demonstrated exactly how he wanted me to position my wings for gliding, and I emulated that as best as I could. That was the easy part. Stepping off the cloud – not so simple. Did you know that you can cut furrows into clouds? I know because Steady had to shove my ass while my legs were locked in resistance to the concept of throwing myself off a perfectly secure platform. Clouds don’t make for great resistance though, and abruptly I was over the edge.

“Straighten out your wings!” Steady shouted. He accompanied me as I hurtled towards the lower cloud deck.

I had forgotten everything about flying though. My previous ‘flights’ had been powered and had me moving so fast that I did not have time to think as I crashed in and through various objects. This time, the only thing going through my mind during the drop was: “OHHHHHHHH! FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU—!”

~SPLAT!~

Let me tell you something about clouds – if you’re a pegasus and you hit one at speed, it’s like diving from the high tower at the pool. You better be angled properly or else it’s going to hurt. There was a flash of light and the boom of thunder, but I was too stunned to wonder about that.

Steady came to a gentle landing beside me. “Well, that could have gone better, but I think we just solved what your cutie mark represents.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked dizzily.

“That was an extremely impressive thunderbolt that you loosed from the cloud. Feels like it’s ready to dump its load of rain right now too,” he said as he tapped the cloud’s surface experimentally. “Better be careful or you’ll send a downpour into the outskirts of Canterlot, and the weather team will be pissed with you.”

I looked again at the cloud and noticed that it had darkened considerably. “I did that?”

“Yep. I think you may have been a storm wrangler, and a powerful one at that. It helps explain why your previous attempts to fly were so wild. Your body is built for power flying, not precision.”

Great. Not only was I having to figure out how to use this pegasus body properly, but it was like I was trying to learn to drive by getting into a Formula One racecar! “So, what do we do now?”

“We’d better get off this cloud before you accidentally trigger it. This time, don’t freeze up. Get the angle of your wings right and glide, not dive. And try looking outwards, not down. Your body will naturally try to fly the direction you are looking.”

I grumbled but tried to comply. That’s when I realized that there weren’t any more clouds below this one to break my fall. I started to point this out to Steady, but he just blew a gust of wind under my wings and I lifted off and over the edge.

There was a heck of a view of the city now that there were no more clouds obscuring the scenery. I think it motivated me not to become street pizza and cut through my fear so I could actually concentrate on using my wings. I began to feel what Steady had been trying to teach me – how the air moved around my body and wings. I changed the angle at which my feathered appendages met the sky and felt the lift that they were generating.

“You’re doing great!” Steady called from nearby. “You’ve got enough airspeed now to control your rate of fall. Start angling them up a bit more to pull out of your dive.”

Good suggestion, Steady. I had just realized how fast the cityscape was approaching, and slowing down seemed like a very good idea. I adjusted the angle of the wings so that they forced more air underneath, and I started to level out and wasn’t accelerating as much. It wasn’t happening fast enough though, so I tilted them a bit more. That worked! I was now tearing through the sky at a shallow angle, and it felt great! Despite the wind in my face, my eyes were largely unaffected, and only then did I realize that a kind of third eyelid had slid across my eyes to protect them instinctively.

“Now steer for the park and we’ll come in for a landing on the lawn,” Steady instructed.

My heart clenched in fear once more. “Steer? You haven’t shown me how to do that yet!” I yelled back.

The stallion’s mouth made an ‘Oops’ shape before he replied. “You have to adjust your wings like this.” He tried to demonstrate, but of course that made him steer away from me and I didn’t learn a thing.

The ground was approaching a bit too fast for comfort, and I started to panic. If I tried to use my flight magic like previously, I suspected that might make things even worse, considering the lack of control that I had over it.

Steady Flight came back close to me and yelled, “You’re heading into the flight lanes! Pull up! Flare your wings and pull up!”

Fortunately, I figured out what he was trying to tell me and I spread my feathers wide and tilted my wings to cup the air like I had seen eagles do. It seemed to be working and I was beginning to think I was going to survive this stunt when Steady yelled again.

“Watch out for—”

~WHAM!~

I collided with something. No, make that someone, and we both crashed to the ground.

Never did landing in a bush seem so welcome. The nearby pavement was a whole lot harder than a cloud! Judging from the amount of swearing coming from nearby, my unfortunate victim had also landed in the shrubbery. I saw a maroon mane pop up out of the leaves, followed by a very angry blue-furred stallion.

“WHAT THE BUCK WAS THAT, YOU MORON?! WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FLY? DISCORD?!”

I think he was irked. Maybe even slightly put out. “I’m so sorry, sir. I’m still re-learning how to fly.”

The stallion blinked in confusion before asking, “What do you mean by that?”

“I’m a victim of a disease that caused me a severe case of amnesia and I cannot recall even the basics from flight school. I’m still under instruction by this guy.” I pointed my hoof at Steady who had landed on the path beside the shrubs.

The incredulous look that he gave me made me curse the stupid cover story once more. “You’re sticking with that excuse? Sounds like the plot of a bad fiction to me.”

“It’s true, sir,” my flight instructor spoke up. “My name is Steady Flight, and I have been commanded by Princess Trixie to teach Mark Wells how to fly again.”

“Well, tell the princess to expect a bill from Airy Words if I’ve suffered any injuries requiring a hospital visit!” he snarled before extricating himself from the bush and limped away.

“Should I be worried?” I asked as I tried to disentangle myself from the shrub.

“Unlikely,” Steady replied. “Pegasi are extremely resilient, as you have had cause to find out for yourself. I think he’ll be okay. Looks like you’re fine too.”

I gave him a flat look as I finally got all four hooves back on the ground. “Speak for yourself.” I stumbled off in the direction of some nearby shops. “Steady – the Grape and Plotful Trixie said to check out the city, right?”

“Yes, Mark.”

“You know where to find a bar?”

“Yes, Mark.”

“You’re paying.”

Steady sighed. “Yes, Mark.”

“Trixie thought that you would still be exploring Canterlot, Pockmark Swells?”

“Too much to see in one morning. Besides, you didn’t say what was on the agenda for this afternoon. I didn’t expect to find you in here.”

Trixie was seated at the desk in Celestia’s study, surrounded by a stack of books which I could only suppose were magic tomes, based on some of the titles that I could see.

“Trixie’s lessons have been interrupted by her need to run Equestria. Some time needs to be set aside for resumption of her studies.”

I was impressed. It seemed that there were other repercussions from yesterday’s events.

“However,” Trixie continued, “Celestia would clearly understand Princess Trixie’s need to prioritize Equestria’s needs before these homework assignments, which is why Trixie is delegating them to someone of a lesser station.”

A-n-d there she goes ruining the moment. “Let me guess – you’re dumping them all on Twilight Sparkle?”

“You are most perspicacious, Hallmark Nutshells, which is why the Wise and Prudent Trixie made you her Grand Vizier.”

I gave her a sharp look. “I sense you’re setting me up for something.”

The mare gave me an innocent smile. “Trixie is merely asking you to take these books to Ponyville to pass on to Twilight Sparkle.” She levitated several of them into a pile in front of me. “Please tell her to pay particular attention to the book of spells by Starswirl the Bearded – Celestia bookmarked a page with a note mentioning her other personal student. Oh, and while you’re there, you can make good use of your time to judge the sentiments of the common ponies, not to mention Twilight herself.”

“So, not only do you want me to be your messenger boy, but you also want me to be your spy? Don’t trust what Twilight may be up to? Feeling slightly threatened, perhaps?” I asked with a smirk.

“Trixie does not know what you are talking about. She merely wishes to keep an ear to the ground, so to speak.”

“When do you want me to go?”

“This afternoon – have your butler make the travel arrangements.”

“He’s a valet, not a butler, and won’t you be needing me this afternoon?”

“There is no court session, and Trixie has more pressing engagements to attend to. Tomorrow is Saturday, so stay the weekend. I will expect you back for Monday morning’s court.”

“What pressing engagements? This is the first I’ve heard of them.”

Before Trixie could answer, a tan unicorn mare entered the room and bowed formally. “Empress Trixie? You asked me to remind you when it was time for your spa appointment.”

“Ah, yes. Trixie must invest many grueling hours to maintain her majestic appearance.” The blue mare turned towards the door and called over her shoulder. “Trixie will be expecting your report on Monday, Meadowlark Knells!”

I stared after the blue unicorn with a sense of chagrin. I should have known better. Just because she had a newfound sense of purpose didn’t mean that the mare’s nature had changed. Trixie was still Trixie. I looked at the pile of books and figured that at least one unicorn was going to appreciate getting them. I just had to hope that she wouldn’t shoot the messenger.

I had Steady arrange a first class compartment because it would take us several hours to get to the township, and if I was going on royal business, then the Royal Treasury was going to pay for it. I enjoyed watching the unfamiliar scenery pass by, but I also made good use of the time by getting my friend to tell me as much as he knew about Ponyville and its citizens, and what I could expect to find there. It turned out that Steady had never actually visited Ponyville, but it was famous for being the home of all the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Twilight’s presentation, surprisingly, had made only brief mention of her famous friends – just one slide with names and pictures and another with a bulleted list of the adventures that she thought worth mentioning. At the time, I wondered if the list might have been shortened by removing any tales that might have been embarrassing to one or more of the Elements. As such, more than the expected amount of news came from that small township, and some of it was quite intriguing.

The Ponyville station was quaint. For such an important place, it didn’t go out of its way to look it. Instead, just like the rest of the hamlet that I had seen from the carriage as we had pulled into the platform, it looked like some girl’s toy set. More than ever, I knew I had to be in some fantasy universe. Ah well, it beat smog-grimed buildings and ugly cement structures.

Only a couple of other ponies got off at that station, so the pink mare who was standing there apparently waiting for someone was very conspicuous. Imagine my surprise when she dashed up to me with a manic grin on her face.

“It’s you! You’re new to Ponyville and Equestria and you’re going to be our new best friend and I’m here to welcome you and invite you to a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party and get to introduce you to all my friends and all the citizens of our town and you’re going to love it here and enjoy our hospitality and sample the finest cider in Equestria and the bestest cakes in the world while having so much fun as you learn about the Element Bearers and how you’re going to change Twilight’s destiny but that’s not going to happen for a little while yet so don’t worry about it for the moment and just enjoy your visit. Gotta go!”

I blinked, and the pink crazy pony was gone. “Did you get any of that, Steady?”

“Umm… I think she was the welcoming committee. I’m not sure, but I think that was Pinkie Pie, one of the Element Bearers.”

“I hope the rest of them are a lot calmer than her. And if she was the welcoming committee, she could have stuck around long enough to give us directions to Twilight Sparkle’s residence.”

“She’s supposed to live in the town’s library.”

“Appropriate for a bookworm, I suppose, but not much help. We’ll have to ask for directions. Maybe the stationmaster will know?”

Whether the stationmaster could have helped, I never found out because apparently they had closed for the day. I suppose that our train was the last until morning, and as no one had required anything immediately after we had gotten off the train, they had simply packed up and gone home while we were distracted by Pinkie Pie. I couldn’t even find out if there was a service available to take our luggage to a hotel, so we had to carry it all ourselves as we went in search of the library.

We headed towards a gathering of ponies in a place that I quickly recognized as a market. Apparently, it too was shutting down for the day and the crowd was rapidly dispersing. However, the merchants who were packing up weren’t going anywhere for the moment. I selected an orange-coated mare who was packing apples from her stall into a cart.

“Pardon me, ma’am, but could I trouble you for some information?”

“Why, howdy, stranger! What can Ah do for ya?”

“I’m looking for the town library. I have some books to give to Twilight Sparkle whom I believe resides there.”

“She sure does. She’ll be happy to see ya if’n y’all are bringin’ her books. Never known a mare so happy to read so much.”

“If you could give me directions, I would be very grateful.”

“No problem.” She gave me pretty clear instructions of the ‘turn left at the fountain’ variety – didn’t they have street names here? “You’ll know the library tree when you see it,” she concluded.

Library tree? I was obviously missing something, but I supposed that it would become clear when I got there. “Thank you very much, ma’am.”

“Would ya care to buy some apples while yer here?”

I was going to say no because I had eaten well on the train, but the aroma of those perfect-looking apples persuaded me to change my mind. I pointed out a particularly nice type. “I’d like two of those, please – one for me and one for my friend.”

“Comin’ atcha!” She hoofed over the apples and said, “That’ll be two bits.”

Considering that those bits appeared to be made from gold, I thought that those apples were a little expensive, but because Steady didn’t blink an eye at the price, I decided that I needed to know more about the coins’ value relative to the goods before I started complaining. I passed the mare the two bits and then she held out a bag full of apples.

“What are those for?” I asked.

“A favah for a favah. Could you drop these off to Twahlight for me. Tell her Applejack sent ’em.”

I took the bag as that name rang a bell. “Applejack? You’re one of the Element Bearers, aren’t you?”

“Sure am. Element of Honesty here.”

“Pleased to meet you, Applejack. I didn’t expect to run into two of the Bearers within minutes of arriving in Ponyville. My name is Mark Wells, the new Grand Vizier to Princess Trixie, and I was hoping to get together with you all while I am visiting this weekend.”

Applejack’s jovial friendliness evaporated and the farm mare narrowed her eyes as she regarded me. “Ah recognize ya now.
Yer Trixie’s new pet advisah, aintcha? Ah’ve been readin’ the papers. So what exactly caused that there allergic reaction for ya?”

I was getting uncomfortable and looked around for a convenient excuse to get away. “I said I was allergic to blueberries.”

Applejack seemed to weigh my words carefully for a few seconds. “Well, yer not exactly lyin', but yer not exactly telling the truth neither. Ya ain't really allergic to them, are ya?”

I backed away and turned to leave, but I looked back at her with a smile. “Nope. I just said that I was.” I trotted away and called over my shoulder. “Pardon me, but I have books and apples to deliver.”

I could still feel her cold stare as we turned the corner.

Applejack’s directions proved to be pretty good, and soon we arrived at the Golden Oaks Library. I stopped and gaped. The library was a literal tree! It had a door and windows carved into it, and even a balcony in its upper branches. Light coming through the windows and smoke curling from a chimney showed that it was currently occupied. I turned to Steady Flight and asked, “Am I really seeing what I’m seeing?”

He gave me a puzzled expression. “I don’t know what you mean, Mark. It looks like a typical library tree to me.”

Of course it did. Silly me. Where else would you put a library? I sighed. “Come on, we have a tree-dwelling unicorn to meet.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Cameo appearance of Airy Words — no one is safe from Mark "Crash" Wells!

Art by Foxenawolf.

Help support me and keep up the frequent art additions by buying me a ko-fi!

Chapter 9 - Competitions

Steady knocked on the door of the library and we waited.

I heard “It’s always open!” from the other side, fairly low to the ground. A few moments later, the door opened and a diminutive dragon looked up at us. “Can I help you?”

I smiled. “You must be Twilight’s little brother Spike. Pleased to meet you. I’m Mark Wells.”

Spike paused for a moment, then pointed at me with a single claw. Briefly, I felt a pang from missing the ability to do the same thing. “You’re the guy from Canterlot. The Grand Whatsit that got her so excited about stuff.”

I was pretty sure he meant knowledge from my world and not kissing, but I was too smart to risk upsetting fire-breathing family members. “That’s me.”

“She said you were…”

He stopped as I frantically waved a forehoof back and forth that was out of Steady’s view. My eyes went wide and I glanced Steady’s way meaningfully.

“…uh…a really great guy! Yeah, that’s it!” If it was possible for a dragon to sweat, he would have done so while looking sheepishly at Steady. For his part, my valet/best friend narrowed his eyes and looked between us.

“Yep, that’s me. Say! Is Twilight in? I’ve got some spell books for her.”

That put the dragon back on familiar ground. “Oh, that’s just great. So much for her getting any sleep this month. Nope, she’ll be back late tonight. She devours spell books like...” Spike paused and tapped one claw against his teeth. “Like hayburgers,” he finished.

“Hayburgers?” I asked.

“Obviously, you haven't seen Twilight’s restraining order. There's a reason the Hayburger doesn't have an all-you-can-eat buffet any more, and she's it. Two of the employees suffered nervous breakdowns on her last visit, and one of the customers got bitten. Not too hard,” he added. “He just reached for the ketchup at the wrong time. Right now, she's just biding her time with take-out until the restaurant management turns over, which at the rate they blow through employees should be in about a week.” He gave a low chuckle. “Then the Monster will be unleashed again. Come on in.”

If my mind had been boggled at discovering that they put libraries in trees, it was nearly blue-screened by what I beheld inside. Room! Not only room to swing a cat, but a few ponies too. “Holy Doctor Who! This sucker is bigger on the inside than the outside!”

Totally belying its outer dimensions, the interior of the tree was easily twice the diameter of what it could possibly be, leaving plenty of space for some furniture and a staircase, not to mention its raison d’être – books. This was some serious magic! I had to marvel at the interior of the library being exactly what Steady had described it to be. The carefully organized books rested on shelves that were apparently exactly the right size for the number of books present. Any open slot contained a checkout card waiting for the item to return.

Spike gave me a strange look. “What about Doctor Whooves?” After a moment, he shrugged dismissively and said, “Go ahead and put them on the checkout desk. I’ll move them down to her laboratory later.”

“It’s no trouble for us to take them down there.”

“Nah. Better for no one but me to go to the basement. She gets all cranky when she finds anything out of place, though how she can tell in that mess, I have no idea.”

Steady spoke up. “So naturally, you always move one item slightly whenever she’s out, just to mess with her.”

Spike’s cheek scales actually blushed a bit, then he looked up appraisingly at my valet. “Sounds like you’re a younger sibling.”

Steady nodded. “Youngest of five. The two eldest were complete neat and organization freaks. My favorite pranks were to replace photos in frames and to reverse the order of two nearly identical books in their private libraries. The books would take maybe five minutes for them to recognize and freak out about but the photo of Count Stirrup of Mount Chocolate would stay in its revered place for months.”

Spike brightened. “Oh, yeah! I’m going to have to try both of those. Thanks!”

“Don’t mention it,” the blue pegasus grinned.

I remembered one detail from Trixie. “One of these books was written by Star Swirl, and Celestia has a personal note to Twilight in it about solving some problem inside.”

He pulled that volume out of the pile and turned to the page with the note. After reading it, he gave me a flat glare. “Looks like I’m going to have to ‘misfile’ these books for a day so she can actually enjoy the inevitable Pinkie Pie Party tomorrow. Oh, and if you see her, would you remind her she still owes me page 15 from Power Ponies comic number twelve? She substituted for it when she delivered the last invitation.”

I looked to Steady for help but just got a shrug.

The young dragon looked up at us with a smile. “Anything else I can help you with?”

“Actually, can you give us directions to our hotel? I don’t think we passed it on our way here.”

“No problem!”

Steady and I checked in at the Hearthbreak Hotel, and after carrying our bags upstairs, we decided to wander around town a bit before finding a place for a late dinner. The thatched roof cottages and small shops off of the town square reminded me of an idealized version of small-town America from the 50s. Plus, everypony was polite to the new ponies in town, some going as far as to call out, “See you at the party!” Apparently, everyone knew everyone else, and a new face meant a Pinkie Pie Party was in the works to change a stranger into a friend.

The most unusual buildings were a tailor’s shop in the shape of a carousel and a bakery that looked like it was waiting for Hansel and Gretel to stop by to be eaten. According to one of the guards back at the castle (Flash Sentry, I think), craziness happened often enough in Ponyville to just be called “Tuesday,” so some eclectic architecture didn’t seem to faze the inhabitants in the least.

We settled for the greasy spoon Spike had mentioned called ‘The Hayburger’ and it certainly lived up to the artery-clogging cholesterol-fueled yumminess as advertised. Between the two of us, Steady and I had almost devoured an extra-large order of fries when a whoosh of air sped past us between the tables. I blinked and noticed that my placemat had been replaced with a flyer. Steady looked suspiciously at the flyer in his hoof that had been a napkin just a moment before. I looked around and saw the other patrons glance at their new placemat, flyer sticking out of their book, or poster now in the window. They smiled and continued on with their conversations.

Steady looked at me questioningly and I shrugged my shoulders. He got up. “Well, looks like I at least have some bathroom reading. Excuse me.”

Picking up my former placemat in my greasy hooves, I saw a crude crayon sketch of two pegasi of approximately my and Steady’s colors in the center. Around the outside in pink crayon, the flyer declared ‘Welcome to Ponyville Pinkie Pie Party for Steady Flight and Mark Wells. Yay! Yay! The best time you’ll have all day! Noon Saturday at Sugarcube Corner! Check the Date! Don’t be Late! Celebrate A First Rate Pri-Mate Migrates To Consummate Soulmate!’

I blinked, but it made no more sense when I reread it. Checking a second flyer that had replaced the menu, I saw that every single mark was exactly identical to the one in my hoofs—down to the same shape and location of the tiny crayon-globs that made up the lines. Looking up, I noticed that the photo high on the wall of the two founders had been replaced with the image from the center of the flyer. I also noticed Steady coming back to the table.

“That was quick.”

He gave me a rather haunted look. “She got the toilet paper, too. I can wait until we get back to the hotel.”

After paying, it was nighttime when we went outside. I was enjoying the night sky, much clearer with more detail now that we were away from Canterlot’s lights. Steady was apparently not impressed and instead studied his flyer. “What’s this about a soulmate?”

“No idea,” I replied. I really didn’t want to get into the whole story about Twilight’s kiss. I recognized teasing material and knew better than to give any to the likes of this guy. He moved his lips for a while before he looked at me with a smirk.

“Not to overstate, but lubricate before you impregnate.”

My forehoof lashed out to clonk him behind his ribs. “Ingrate!” I accused.

We shared the kind of laugh only good buddies can share.

By unspoken agreement, both of us decided to invest our time the next morning in the most productive way possible: sleeping in for a change. When I finally woke up enough to accuse him of failing at valet-ifying by not having breakfast ready for me, he informed me that Pinkie Pie Parties were legendary for having unbelievably good food and we’d be better served waiting until then. I told him that would not excuse the lack of coffee to get my day started. With my token protest out of the way, we agreed to devote another hour attempting to unravel the secrets of pony hibernation.

As Steady pulled out my clothes, I decided to go with my best court regalia, including the gold vest and tie with the pendant of office. When he enquired if the Lazy and Bossy Trixie would have wanted us to have been talking with the town’s residents from before sunup (a bit late to realize that, boyo), I told him that Pinkie did all the work for us. All we had to do was show up fashionably early and let the ponies come to us. Not our fault that the Element of Laughter was such a convenient labor-saving device.

Getting to the bakery perhaps thirty minutes early allowed me to mingle and get to know some of the townsfolk before the party started. Pinkie was a whirling dervish of energy – getting the party ready while somehow serving customers at the same time. She gave me a pink, cotton-candy scented hug when I asked if there was anything Steady and I could do to help. “Nope! Your friend and neighbor Pinkie has it all under control! Just keep being friendly like you always are, Mr. Rodgers!” And she was gone.

Wait. What did she just say?

By the time the shindig started in earnest, I’d been shaking hooves with everypony in sight and hearing their good-natured tales about the frequent disasters that seemed to zero in on the locale. It appeared rebuilding was everyone’s second pastime. In between their generally-positive opinions of Trixie’s rule so far, I got an absolute nightmare-inducing amount of dirt on the mare. Gossip traveled fast in the countryside and the ears in Ponyville gathered up every mistimed spell and failed performance of her career. It might be possible that my clipboard contained more blackmail material than questions and concerns for her Highness. Tactical error on her part to send me out here, really. Can’t feel guilty about that.

I also got some heartfelt thanks for pulling the plug on Flim and Flam’s scheme, along with the tale of their attempt to take over Sweet Apple Acres. I wondered if that would get me in good with a certain orange farm pony, but she and the other Elements were not present. When I asked the pink roller-skating party mare about that, she told me they could only make it to an after-party at the Golden Oaks Library later in the afternoon. Not surprisingly, she gave me a flyer for that party, too. I decided it was safest to put that one away without checking to see if it contained any more suggestively-worded passages. Steady also showed his worth by ferrying punch and various treats to me as I basically stood in place with a changing cast of characters coming to shore briefly around Grand Vizier Island. Note to self: cherry chimichangas rock!

The most noteworthy pony I talked to was Mayor Mare, who wanted clarification on how quickly rebuilding funds could be released from the Royal Treasury. After going over her ledgers, I noticed how the cost of rebuilding each structure in town was always the same amount but that it required several delays and much back-and-forth before that number was settled upon. We agreed to have one of her assistants train at the Royal Assessor’s office under Miss Scares-Me-Down-To-My-Hooves (not her real name – still didn’t know what it is). Then the stallion would be able to give a final, official number within hours and funds could then be expedited. We even agreed to split the cost of the assistant’s training.

Other notables were Bon-Bon, who promised me a selection of toffees and fudges when I stopped by her shop on Sunday; Octavia Melody, whom I had met briefly at the castle at one dignitary function or another; and a bright-green unicorn mare named Lyra Heartstrings. She seemed fascinated by me; though at no time did I feel she was coming on to me romantically – if that makes any sense.

When the party wrapped up, Pinkie grabbed me and bounced off towards the library, pulling me along by happily holding my mane in her mouth. Several boxes bounced right along with the earth pony mare on her back, but somehow they didn’t fall off. Steady accepted Lyra’s invitation to go bowling and we agreed to meet up later at the hotel.

Eventually, I persuaded Pinkie that I was going along willingly and dragging me there wasn't necessary. She didn't appear to be entirely convinced and eyed me skeptically, even as we arrived and she pushed the door open without looking forward. After that, it promptly swung closed.

Stepping inside no more than a couple of seconds later, I saw streamers, balloons, a punch bowl, and more cupcakes than any five shows on Food Network. Did all that happen right before I opened the door? I didn’t see the boxes anywhere, but there was a party cannon of some sort next to the door, fortunately, pointing away from me at the moment.

The backdrop was the just-as-amazing well-stocked library where the books appeared to rest in bookshelves that literally grew out of the walls of the library tree. A large banner across said bookshelves proclaimed ‘Welcome to Ponyville, Jafar!’ I puzzled over the wording until I felt a strong tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a very unamused Element of Honesty.

“So what food was it again that caused yer amnesia?”

I shrugged and gave a friendly smile. “I honestly don't remember.”

Applejack snorted. “ 'Cause it never happened, I bet.”

I grinned. “But am I lying?”

She growled. “There ya go again. Ah think ya made the perfect career choice. Yer a born politician.” She then spat on the floor, lifted her head high, closed her eyes, and strode away.

I shook my head. So much for exposing Flim and Flam’s scheme to the world swaying this mare’s opinion of me. Twilight was happy to see me at least! She waved from her side of the library then returned to discussing something with Spike. I wandered over to an ongoing conversation.

“Just you wait, Rarity. I’ll be a junior Wonderbolt by this time next year, then a member of the varsity squad the year after that. I’ll also be the youngest squad leader by the time I’m done.” The white unicorn agreed with the rainbow-maned pegasus and excused herself.

That left me with the Element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash.

“Hi, Miss Dash. I’m Mark Wells.”

She didn’t bother looking at me and continued to hover a ways off of the floor. “Yeah. I’d be pleased to meet me too.”

I snorted. “Looking for something?”

She bobbed up and down slightly. At least this time she seemed to hear what I said. “Yeah. When’s Big Mac showing up with the good stuff?”

I'm pretty sure I recognized her type. Time to find out if I was right. “Excuse me, I was hoping I could find someone to play a challenging game with me. Unfortunately, it takes someone with a high pain tolerance.”

She stopped flapping and slowly drifted to the ground. If only I could master that trick! Her ears swiveled to point directly at me, then they seemed to draaaaaag her head around until she was looking me straight in the eyes. “Oh?”

Interesting. No bluster at all from the mare defined by bluster. She was serious about competition.

First of all, here are the rules for Red Hands/Hooves – Equestrian style. No horseshoes. A correct slap is the sole of the hoof against the pastern (the flesh just above the hoof). You slap to sting, not cause damage. If the slapper misses the slappee completely, they switch roles. The slapper is allowed to vibrate, twitch and try to set off the slappee, but is not allowed to start the movement of a slap. If they do, they switch sides and the new slapper gets a free shot. The slappee can pull their hooves away a bit without penalty. Only if they pull completely out of the way do they lose that round. Again, a free slap is the penalty. After the slapper wins five times in a row, you automatically switch sides.

Applejack had been following my explanation closely. “I think Ah'd like to give this a try.”

I glared suspiciously at this mare that had developed a healthy dislike of me. “Are you an earth pony?”

“What of it?”

“I hear your type can reduce a boulder to pebbles or uproot a tree with one blow, right? I'll pass.”

The farm mare frowned. Rarity tittered. “He's on to you, dear.” The yellow Pegasus who had to be Fluttershy hid behind her mane but peeked one bright-blue eye out.

Rainbow Dash and I sat on chairs facing each other. After we fixed the distance between us, she started out as the slapper. Her first two strikes were clean hits. I didn’t give her the satisfaction of showing any discomfort. “Ha! Looks like I’m already awesome at this game.” I anticipated her striking after the same time interval as her last strike and she missed, temporarily wiping off her grin. The moment her hooves were nearly over mine, I pounded them both by flipping over both of my hooves.

“Hey!” she yelled.

“Style points for going cross-hoof or double-hoof. Did I forget to mention…” I twitched. Her hooves flew back. She growled as they came back for a single free love pat. “…that?” My next attempt was a miss so we switched.

“Who wants cookies?” I heard Spike bellow. Rainbow had used the distraction to get in a clean shot.

“Darling! That was not fair! It should be his turn now,” complained Rarity.

I just smiled, never taking my eyes off of my opponent. “Distractions are part of the game. Besides, if you aren't cheating...” I winked at Rainbow. “...you aren't trying.”

“Darn straight!” she said, moving her hooves in a blur in time with the last word. I had anticipated this (because she hadn't tried it yet) and she missed. “Dang it!”

She held her hooves out for the obligatory slap, which I faked three times, teasing her. Her eyes narrowed at my antics. “Alright, buster. Time to put you in your place.”

At last, I gave her the required penalty slap. As before, she didn't flinch.

Let me tell you something about the game some of you may also know as Hand Slap – if you haven't spent your high school and college years honing your technique. It's all about reading your opponent and their tells. Any competent player will be too fast for you to pull away after they start moving. Reaction time just isn't quick enough to get out of the way in the tenth of a second or so it takes to spin your hand, or in my case, hoof around. This mare had incredibly quick reflexes, but that hard and fast rule still applied.

Slowly, it became apparent that she was getting a read on me. Two slaps to one... four slaps to one... then there was a long unbroken streak of her victories. One particularly strong blow on my now-sensitive pastern made me wince slightly.

Rarity shook her head. “Rainbow, darling. Would you please take it easy on the poor stallion? You've amply demonstrated that you are superior at this savage game.”

“No way!” She didn't stop looking at me for a second, even as her hooves continued to sporadically move in a blur and pound mine. “It was his idea to begin with. Not my fault I’m the best.”

She put her hooves on top of mine after yet another string of five victories that necessitated a change of position. I paused and looked at her. “Alright, fine then. How about we make the last one a bet this time? For the championship and all the marbles?”

Her upper body relaxed completely. I recognized this as a preview for her to be able to move with lightning speed. She grinned. “I'm game! What did you have in mind?”

I smirked. “A kiss from you, wherever I want it.”

Her smile disappeared and at that moment I moved. “Thwack!” She pulled her hooves back a moment too late. All her friends started chuckling at her expression as she gaped at me. It took her about two heartbeats to figure it out.

She pointed an accusatory hoof. “Your shoulder twitch! It was all baloney, wasn't it! You were setting me up the whole time!”

“I prefer to be known as 'Champ'.” I bounced my rear as I pranced away. “Aaaaaand you can go right ahead and kiss my behind, sucker!”

Even Fluttershy was laughing now, but again, I think it was more at Rainbow Dash's face shifting rapid-fire between anger, disgust, and disbelief than at my antics. Applejack and Pinkie Pie were rolling on the floor.

Rainbow hovered after me. “Come on. Best two out of three.”

I lifted my head high. “N-n-n-n-n-ope.”

For some reason, that made Rarity laugh louder but calmed down Applejack.

“There’s gotta be something. I’d never live it down! Especially around these mares.”

I slowed down and thought it over. A smirk appeared on my face then disappeared just as quickly. “Well-l-l-l, I suppose I could have pity on you just this one time.”

She scoffed. “I don’t need pity. I just need to do something that’s a lot more awesome than… that.” She almost looked and waved a wing at my posterior but appeared to catch herself.

I turned around fully to stare her in the eyes. I couldn’t hold back my smile any longer. “It’s simple. Just say ‘They’re called Wonderbolts because they’re always wondering what just happened.’ ”

The rest of the mares went silent and looked at the colorful pegasus. Even Spike, in his apron and with a half-full cookie tray in his claws peeked around Twilight Sparkle to get a good view. Rainbow Dash’s jaw moved around like she was chewing a bitter handful of gravel. Ultimately she said in a small voice. “I can’t do that.”

“Points for you!” I beamed. “I admire that kind of Loyalty.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah. Duh! Element of Loyalty and all that.”

“So that’s why you’ll only owe me twice as many kisses as the day before for each day that you don’t pay up. Sounds good?”

She looked away from me and grumbled. “Fine, fine! Until then, you can just cool your fetlocks.”

Twilight came up beside her. “Rainbow Dash, I don’t want to tell you what to do, but you might want to just get this over with.”

She scowled. “Why? What’s so bad about waiting until tomorrow when it’s two kisses? Or next week when it is eight? By then I might be in the mood for being humiliated in front of my friends… again!”

The unicorn shook her head. “I don’t think you understand the math. Tomorrow you would owe two kisses, the next day four, then eight, and so on. After a week, you’d owe 128 kisses. After two weeks, over sixteen-thousand. In a month, you’d be a billion kisses in the rear.” That earned her a glare. She grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. Figure of speech.”

Pinkie Pie pronked up to Rainbow, an abacus in her forehooves. “Yepparoni! In fact, if you don’t pay up by day twenty, you could spend all day and night doing nothing but kissing his cutie patootie and never, ever, ever, ever pay off your balance of smooches.”

Rainbow looked between the two, wide-eyed. After a few seconds, she slumped with a sigh. “OK, fine. I always make good on my debts, but just… not right now.”

I heard coughing from the other side of the room. I looked over and saw Spike burp and a scroll appeared in the resulting flames. He grabbed it and looked it over. “Special Delivery for Twilight! Is there a Twilight Sparkle in the library?” He waved it around, turning every which way. “Does anyone know a frazzled, crazy mare named Twilight?”

I caught Rarity’s eye and nodded towards the little dragon. “Does this happen often?”

She smiled. “The sibling teasing or the dragonfire delivery of scrolls?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Oh, absolutely.”

The mare being paged gently bopped her younger brother on the head and gave him a mock glare before rolling the scroll open. Her eyes brightened and she smiled. “It’s from Princess Cadance!”

As she read the letter, her smile fell. She appeared to re-read it once, then stared at me with one of those stares. Yes, you know exactly the kind I’m talking about.

“YOU!”

All conversation stopped as I instinctively backed up. In mere moments, I was trapped in the Self-Help section.

Twilight rolled up the scroll and shook it at me. I wasn’t sure exactly what she was threatening to do with it, but I was sure I didn’t want to know. “You will take back your lies now!”

From my left, I heard a drawl. “Well ain’t that a big surprise nopony saw comin’.” Gee, thanks for the support, Applejack.

Realizing my attempts to phase through the bookcase were not working, I switched to using my recently sharpened negotiation skills to get out of the situation. “Uhhhh, what?”

Twilight came up directly in front of me. Escape was impossible. “You will tell all of my friends that we never kissed, and then you will write a letter to tell Princess Kissance…” She closed her eyes and shook her head briefly. When she opened them, her angry expression was the same. “…Princess Cadance the same thing.”

“Ooooooooo…” I heard from my right. Both Twilight and I turned to see Fluttershy, her face consumed with interest. She seemed to suddenly notice she was the center of our attention and disappeared behind her mane with a “Meep!”

I had one forehoof up in front of my chest in a vain attempt to protect myself. So I did the obvious thing when a man is threatened with death or worse. “But you did.”

Twilight surged forward until our noses almost touched. “You dare lie to me with those lips!” At that point, she seemed to realize where her lips were with respect to mine. With a jerk, she backed up a couple of feet. “We did nothing of the sort!”

All the Elements were in a loose circle around us now, staring with interest but apparently not willing to intervene to save my hide. My eyes stopped on Pinkie, who was sharing a tub of popcorn with Applejack. I looked back to Twilight.

“I Pinkie Promise that right before you teleported away…uh, the first time… from our meeting in Canterlot, you kissed me.”

The mares’ eyes all got wider and, one by one, their looks all now focused on Twilight, who just stood there with her mouth hanging open.

She recovered with a frowned and a glare. “Well, I Pinkie Promise that we never—”

“STOP!” interrupted Pinkie Pie with an upraised hoof. Wait, did she have a vertically black and white striped umpire jersey on a second ago? And wasn’t her mane poofy instead of flat?

“But—”

Pinkie Pie looked more serious than any pony I had seen up to now. “Don’t go there, Twilight Sparkle. For on that path lies only pain.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped open even wider. “Really?” She looked me up and down. “Really?!”

OK, now, that was just rude.

Pinkie’s mane popped back into its normal shape and she offered the popcorn to the purple unicorn.

Twilight ignored it. “My first kiss, and I can’t even remember it?!”

Time for some payback for threatening and insulting me. I smirked and put on my best nerdy scientist voice… OK… I tried as hard as I could to sound like Twilight. “Well, there’s only one way to settle this. Sounds like an in-depth, full-blown, double-blind study is called for. Double-blind means I close both eyes, right Twilight?” She opened her mouth at this blasphemy of the Scientific Method but I barreled on. “In the names of Science and Safety, I’ll put on a lab coat and goggles. Then I’ll just close my eyes and you mares can take turns kissing me.”

All the girls except Twilight chorused “Ewww!” and most of them laughed. Spike made the universal pointing-a-claw-down-his-throat gesture. I noticed Rarity didn’t really have her heart in her protestation, though.

“And every time I get my guess wrong, we’ll have to repeat the trial until I finally…” I made an exaggerated eye roll and sigh, “…get it right…”

“EWWWWW!” Louder this time with more laughter.

“…nine times out of ten.”

Now everyone except for Twilight was laughing. Her mouth was twisted in annoyance and her friends guffawed even louder when they saw her.

I ambled up to the purple unicorn. “So, Miss Twilight.” I held up a hoof. “Would you give me the pleasure of this dance and submit to doing wonderful, beautiful, sensual science together?” I grinned, but her expression made my smile slip. About a half-second too late, I realized I might have pushed her sense of humor a bit too far.

“I have a better idea since you are so hot under the collar.” Her horn lit and she was replaced with blue sky. In fact, there was blue sky everywhere. I looked down and saw trees briefly then water rushing towards me. Instinctively, I spread my wings and accelerated… in the direction I was looking.

It really wasn’t all that bad of a landing. I was used to trees, walls, fountains, and other pegasi by now, and since I didn’t knock my breath out with a belly-flop, I was in better-than-average post-crash physical condition. OK, fine. I was desperate for a win and decided that was close enough, OK?

I tried using my flight magic to pull me up from ten feet underwater, but that didn’t work. Instead, since I was already standing on the bottom of the lake, I maneuvered myself upright then pushed firmly off of the gravel below me. With a couple of kicks of my legs, I reached the surface without any difficulty.

After taking a few breaths, I looked around and found the nearest shoreline was maybe a hundred feet away. I settled into a backstroke to keep my muzzle as far out of the water as possible and to conserve energy.

Moments later, I heard a whistling sound followed by Rainbow Dash hovering above me. “Dude! Are you dead?”

I shot the Pegasus a glare. “Do I look dead to you?”

She seemed to think about that for a bit. “Well, yeah, kind of. You’re flat on your back. Don’t know how you’re moving in the water though. No pony swims like that.”

I suppressed a grin. “Want to know the secret?”

Her face split with a smile and I waved her down as I stopped using my forelegs for my strokes. She hovered just a hair above where I could reach, so I settled for my second-best option. I raised both my forehooves in the air and thrust them down into the water. The resulting splashes almost caught the surprised pegasus, but she zipped out of the way then floated back to the same spot. She even got a little closer, daring me to try to grab her. “Nice one. Don’t make me drop rocks on you.”

I paused in my motions and looked up at her incredulously. “Seriously? You go from worried for my life to threatening it the next moment?”

She floated upwards a bit with her trademark grin. “Yep! Try to keep up, slowpoke.”

I shook my head as much as my partially-submerged position would allow. As I resumed swimming, I heard “Mark! Mark!” coming from the shore in the direction of my travel. Rainbow looked up.

“About time they got here. Twilight got terrified when Rarity pointed out you might not know how to swim.” She looked back at me. “So are you going to act all half-drowned when you get to shore?”

I squinted at her. “No?”

She smirked. “Then you’re an idiot. I bet that would get Twilight to kiss you again.”

I smirked back. “Double or nothing I can get Twilight to throw me back in the lake in fifteen minutes?”

“Ten.”

“Twelve.”

“Deal.”

She made to clop hooves to seal it but looked in my eyes first. “Yeah, deal,” she repeated then zoomed off. Crap! I could have used some company swimming the final leg.

I should have been more surprised when ten seconds later, Pinkie Pie walked out next to me on what looked like pontoons – one for the left legs, one for the right. “You doing alright there, wet pony? I can put you in my pocket for the trip back.”

I smiled in terror. “No, no, no! Thanks anyway, Pinkie. Actually, I’m kind of enjoying the swim… but don’t tell anypony, please.”

“Are you kidding? No pony can keep a secret like I can! I can tell that’s a secret you should only tell your friends.” With that, she stepped out of the pontoons and plummeted under the water’s surface. Briefly, I wondered if she meant my friends or her friends.

A minute or so later, I heard the lapping of water next to my head. Looking to the side, I could see that I was finally in the shallows.

I rolled over and was able to walk my way onto the shore. I was pleasantly surprised to feel the weight of my medallion of office still around my neck. I wasted no time taking it off and starting to remove my sodden clothing. I was thinking that this was a bit weird, getting naked in front of six mares and a baby dragon, but I guess the place was seriously rubbing off on me. I was even comfortable enough to give a little jab at a certain mare. “Gee, Twilight. Don’t you have a more subtle way to ask a stallion-friend to disrobe?”

She let out a nervous laugh, but I could tell from her eyes that she was genuinely concerned. “I’m so sorry, Mark. I had no idea if your birth species could swim. From my studies of simians and yetis, I was certain I had drowned you!”

“Wait, what now?” asked Applejack.

Rainbow Dash craned her neck down to look at the purple unicorn. “What the hay, Twilight? Do you need glasses or something? That right there is obviously a standard, ordinary, run-of-the-mill clueless pegasus stallion.”

“Who happens to be called ‘Champ,’ ” I snarked.

The mane on the pegasus’ neck bristled, and she glared at me. “OK, maybe not 100% ordinary… but only maybe.”

“See that, girls? Any standard, run-of-the-mill stallion can get the best of Rainbow Dash.”

“Oooooooo,” repeated Fluttershy. This time she hid behind her mane before anypony looked her way.

The Element of Loyalty started to drift closer threateningly while Pinkie munched on more popcorn that I’m sure she didn’t have a moment ago. Sadly, Twilight had to ruin our fun.

“Anyway! Getting back on topic! Mark Wells was born to a nearly hairless bipedal race called ‘humans.’ He came here through a dimensional portal and is now stranded in Equestria.” Remind me to send some flowers to Twilight for not mentioning the whole breaking-while-entering thing. I guess the edible kind rather than the pretty kind. Was it possible to be both? Pinkie’s voice brought me back to reality (such as it was).

“You mean you all didn’t already know?”

OK, reality is seriously overrated. I asked, “So explain to me how you knew, Pinkie?”

Everypony gave me a flat look and shook their heads. Twilight, of all mares, spoke up. “It’s really safer on your sanity just to grin and say ‘That’s just Pinkie.’ Trust me.”

After seeing something in Pinkie’s eyes that tickled my human survival instincts, I nodded my agreement.

Spike changed the subject away from the dangerous. “Aren’t humans those beings with the stubby clawed appendages that Lyra keeps obsessing about? She’ll go completely Twilight-level-eleven bonkers when she finds out.”

Before I could explain what fingers were, Twilight spoke up. “That’s right, but unfortunately, she must never know. Mark is doing a great job keeping fake-alicorn Trixie on an even keel, and the news of his origins would cause havoc, possibly destabilizing the Court. But as we are Equestria’s first line of defense, all of you deserve to know. Would you all mind making a Pinkie Promise not to reveal his secret?”

There were nods all around, and all seven of them went through the motions I had first seen in the Portal Room. Somehow, Rainbow Dash got in an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture in the middle of hers.

“Well thanks, ladies. I appreciate it.” Then I looked at Pinkie. “Was it your idea to have this after-party to let the rest of the Elements know, or Twilight’s?”

They both said the name of the other mare simultaneously, then looked at each other, and they both said 'it was mine', again at the same time. I shook my head.

Meanwhile, Applejack took off her Stetson. “Well, I figured you was a bit different from other folk, but I didn’t well know how much. I apologize if my accusations made ya uncomfortable.”

“That’s fine. You were spot on, actually.”

The earth pony mare glared at me as she slowly put her hat back on.

“Ummm, excuse me, Mark Wells, sir?”

It took me a moment to realize that it was Fluttershy who had finally decided to talk with me. “Yes, miss?”

She actually blushed while asking a question. “Does your world have talking animals? Or ponies at all?”

“No other sapient species besides humans, sorry. And yes, we have everything from Clydesdales to miniature ponies as far as equines go. None of them are smarter than your average domesticated animal, though.”

She seemed to shrink in on herself a bit. “Oh… oh, I see.”

Suddenly, I felt an irresistible urge to comfort this mare. I was certain a single tear would destroy my will to live. “Although, humans feel a great deal of love for their pets.”

“Pets?” she repeated, her ears perking up again.

“Yes, yes. Dogs, cats, hamsters, snakes, lizards, tarantulas, all sorts. And that doesn’t even count the sport and farm animals like cattle, goats, oxen, and all varieties of horses.”

“And turtles?” asked Rainbow.

“Yep.”

“And alligators?” asked Pinkie Pie, thrusting a tiny toy of one into my face. Actually, scratch that. It slowly blinked at me.

I pulled back a bit. “No. Actually not. They get to be a lot more rambunctious when they get older and bigger.”

“Awwww…little Gummy here wouldn’t hurt a fly, wouldya, wouldya, wouldya?” She caressed the possibly stunned reptile for a moment then shoved it into her mane.

Apparently, I was the only one that thought this was strange because Rarity spoke up without hesitation. “So tell us, darling. Since you’ve been gathering the opinions of us ponyfolk all day, why don’t you give us your impressions of the six of us.”

The little dragon spoke up. “Hey!”

“…and Spike, of course.”

Nice recovery, Rarity. “Spike’s a cool dude, and I think he understands a lot more about what’s going on than ponies give him credit for.” He beamed. “As for you mares… well, I don’t know. You are all pretty cool actually, and fun to be around.”

That seemed to have the opposite effect than what I expected. They all looked at each other with disbelieving faces. Twilight spoke up. “So…you’re not intimidated by us?”

I looked at her in confusion for a moment before I saw the light. “Ah. Let me guess. Are you saying that because now that the Royal Sisters are gone and Cadance went off to the Crystal Empire, that leaves you six as the most powerful force in Equestria? And that stallions don’t like being reminded how all of you working together or separately can kick their asses seventeen ways to Sunday?”

All of them looked uncomfortable. The white unicorn spoke up. “I wouldn’t have put it…quite that way, but that is the gist of it, I suppose.”

“Well, they don’t know what they’re missing. This is the most fun I’ve had since I got here.”

I noticed Rainbow Dash miss a couple of wingbeats then drift to the ground. The mares all looked at each other in a similar way to how Flim and Flam did in Day Court. Wordlessly, they seemed to come to a decision.

Fluttershy asked, “Ummm… if you don’t mind… and please tell me if you do, because that would be just fine…”

The blue pegasus mare made ‘keep going’ motions with her hooves for some reason.

Fluttershy looked back at me. “…ummm… would your species happen to be the herding kind?”

Well that came out of left field. “Nah. Pretty much strictly monogamous for life.”

The mares then seemed to all share a decidedly different look with each other. Whatever.

Rainbow Dash took the initiative with the conversation. “So what sports were you really good at in your world?”

I thought back. “Well in high school, I was pretty good at long distance running and decent at shot put. My best sport was swimming, though.”

“So you think you are a faster swimmer than me?”

I thought back to how horses swam on Earth, and how my joints’ extra flexibility would allow me to swim basically the same way I always had. If ponies swam with the doggie-paddle style here…

I smiled and lowered my head to look her in the eyes. “I doubt I’m the fastest swimmer in Equestria, but with one little stipulation, I think I’m certainly the fastest swimmer here. Care to prove me wrong?”

If her face was anything to go by, it was like she had just hit the Triple Happiness Jackpot on the Slot Machine of Life. “You’re on, buster. Double or nothing?”

I nodded.

Her mouth took on a predatory grin. “Now go get your staple-thing and we’ll get started right now.”

“Actually, a stipulation is a proviso, an extra condition, something to even the playing field, as it were…”

“Yeah, yeah, fine. Name it.”

“I’ll need Twilight Sparkle to throw me out into the lake for a head start.”

“WHAT! But… but… why?”

I started to pace back and forth, grinning the whole time. “Well, you are supposed to be the best athlete here, aren’t you? And I just survived a near-death experience, so you can’t expect me to be at my absolute best.”

She held out a very sympathetic hoof, which looked really uncharacteristic, actually. “Why don’t you take a breather then…say…five more minutes to rest up.”

Applejack said, “Are you stalling, Sugarcube?”

“No, no! I’m just…concerned that Mark may not be at a hundred percent is all and…uh…”

Twilight walked up next to me and stared at me pointedly. “You want me…to throw you out in the water?”

I nodded. “As far as you think is fair.”

She looked between Rainbow and me, then nodded. Rainbow growled for a few seconds. “OK, fine. Whatever. Let’s just get started already.”

Rarity had been scanning the lake. “Do you all see the branch that is floating about halfway out on the lake? First to swim around it and get back to the shore.”

I looked out. It was clearly visible and appeared to be about a hundred feet out, but in a different direction from the one I had taken. “I see it.”

I heard “Me too,” from right next to me on the shore. She was already crouched down, ready to start.

Bracing myself, I felt Twilight’s magic surround me. I was rehearsing the movements in my head to dive into the water and carry my momentum as far as I could take it.

“Fluttershy, you get to start them off,” I heard the cowpony say.

“Oh. Oh. Really? Do you really want me to?”

“Yep. It’s easy. Just say ‘Ready, Set…’”

“Go?”

I should have expected that, really. Rainbow Dash did, and she was off like a shot, plunging into the water.

I waited, tense and focused, then felt my body lifted for a tiny little hop. I looked down. Maybe an inch, if I was being generous. I tried to lean forward but my body and tail were still held in the purple unicorn’s magic. I looked at her and her eyes glittered back at me. “I think that distance is about fair. Oh, did I not do what you expected?”

Crap. That girl was just too darn smart. I heard the splashing from the lake suddenly stop. “Mark, what the hay?”

“Lover-mare here doesn’t want to let go of my tail.”

“Twilight, you let him go. I need to kick his flank fair-and-square. Look, I appreciate the support, but I want to do this my way, OK?”

I felt the magic release me. I mouthed the word “jealous” to Twilight but got no reaction out of her. Ah, too bad. No rocket-propelled assist.

I stretched luxuriously and took my sweet time to walk down to the water’s edge. I put in a hoof and pulled it back. “Hey! That water’s cold!” I heard chuckles behind me but the wet blue Pegasus just waited with a scowl. I realized then that she was standing on her back legs because the lake must still be shallow there.

I trotted into the water until it was up to my shoulders, then I started a nice, slow breaststroke out to where Rainbow was waiting. As I got close, I saw her rotate her body back to a swimming position. “Are you ready?” I asked.

“Been ready for hours,” she said, her muscles tensing.

My smile might have put her off slightly. “You just think you’re ready.” With that, I exhaled, dropped under the water, streamlined my body by tucking in my wings, and pushed with my back legs as hard as I could.

With the unexpected burst of speed, I coasted to a full body length lead by the time I breached the surface. I then shifted to a relaxed overhead crawl stroke. The flutter kick worked the same as when I was a human and I found my shoulder flexibility more than sufficient to make the required motion without excessive body roll. Fortunately, after just a few tries, I also figured out my head placement so I could side breathe while not creating excess drag or interrupting my rhythm. Meanwhile, Rainbow’s hooves flew like mad in her standard horsey paddle, turning the lake water to a froth and letting her slowly pull up alongside me. I could occasionally hear cheers from the beach as we got closer to the branch. Both of us reached it at the same time, but she had the inside track and was a half-body length ahead by the end of the turn home. I could now hear the cheers clearly.

Time to put up or shut up. I could only guess what my vo2 max was in this form, but I was betting on my muscles feeling the same as they did when I was a human. I punched up my pace to well above that level, knowing it was then a matter of whether the lactic acid shut my muscles down before I reached the shore. With my faster pace, I soon left an unhappy pegasus in my wake. My forelegs and hind legs were burning now, but I was confident they would not give out. Just then I heard a buzzing sound behind me and, looking to my left, got a face-full of water as the mare zoomed by, her wings fully out of the water and moving at incredible speed. The wake from her body passing mine threw me off my rhythm and I struggled to regain it. When I finally dragged myself up the shore and sat down completely spent, Rainbow was high-fiving and whooping it up enthusiastically with her friends.

Spike was there to give me a sincere few claps of applause. “Amazing race, dude. You might be wrong actually. I’ve never seen any pony cut through the water like that.”

“Except for Rainbow Dash, you mean.”

He grinned. “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

“But how did she do it? Water-logged wings are supposed to be useless for getting any kind of lift.”

The aforementioned mare alighted next to me. She held out her wings proudly. “That’s because I dried them off first.” She proceeded to vibrate them at that incredible speed. “After that, it was a matter of getting forward thrust without pushing me into a dive or lifting me off the water, which would have been a DQ.” She smiled. “If I didn’t need to win so bad, I probably would have taken hours to figure it out. So thanks, dude.”

I got back to my hooves and wobbled a bit. Rarity came up and gave me a hug. “That was absolutely exhilarating, darling! The most thrilling race I’ve seen in ages! I hope you aren’t upset at Rainbow’s… ahem… bending the rules.”

I shook my head. “Not at all. It’s not like I didn’t have wings of my own.” I demonstrated weakly. “There was nothing in the rules outlawing them either. Besides…” I shared a grin with the blue Pegasus. “If you aren’t cheating…”

“…you aren’t trying!” she finished, raising a hoof for me to clop. Then, of course, pulling it away when I tried to reciprocate. “Too slow!” This got some laughs from her friends.

“I thought we settled that one already?” I said.

Applejack smiled at me. “Boy, howdy! You sure know how to run yer mouth when it’s a bad idea, don’tcha? Yer more fun than a swarm of parasprites in a pear orchard!”

Rainbow turned around and came up to my face. “Actually, I prefer to be called ‘Champ’.”

“Oooooooo.” Neither of us had to look to know who said it that time.

I shook my head slightly. “I’m afraid not. Miss Twiggie Sprinkle is still the best kisser in your group, so she’s the Champ of my heart.”

Twilight rolled her eyes but smiled a bit, which surprised me. Maybe I was starting to wear off on her.

In front of me, Rainbow shoved me on one shoulder. I rocked back in place then everything happened quickly. She ducked underneath me and used my momentum to roll me over that same shoulder. I landed flat on my back and she gripped my head. One hoof sealing off my nostrils and her mouth covering mine. Then she inhaled.

Did I mention that pegasi are high-altitude flyers? And that their lung strength and capacity increases with practice? My lungs now felt like they were exposed to the harsh vacuum of space while Rainbow doubtless had two lungfuls of air. And her smiling eyes let me know exactly how badly I had been had.

I tried to roll over, to pull my lips back, to push her one way then the other, but she was very strong and knew how to use leverage. The hoots and hollers from her friends were not helping me one bit, either. As I started to see blackness at the edges of my vision, I tried to tickle her barrel, but while this made her quiver and shift position slightly, I could not take further advantage. When my vision narrowed to just being able to see her eyes, I weakly tapped the ground next to her three times, hoping this was a universally recognized gesture.

It was. Spike helped me to a sitting position while I gasped oxygen back into my system. After accepting another set of very loud congratulations, the mare sauntered back up to me. “So, what do you have to say now, Mark Wells?”

Pinkie Pie now had sunglasses, a lounger, and a fold-out lap reflector to sun the underside of her chin, I suppose. “Yeah. So what have you learned today?”

It didn’t really hit me at the time, but this was the first time Rainbow Dash had used my name. I turned to Twilight and held out my hoof dramatically. “Dearest Twilight Sparkle. Twinkle of my Soul. Our romance was a brief but passionate one. However, now another has stolen my heart, as well as my breath.”

The purple unicorn actually laughed at one of my jokes. “With that kind of hammy delivery, it’s a wonder you aren’t paired up with Rarity.”

Applejack said. “Nah. He’s just been spending too much time with Trixie is all. Picked himself up some bad habits.”

Fluttershy offered, “Well, I don’t know about all of you, but I sure had fun. Maybe we can all do this again tomorrow?”

This was met with a more somber mood.

“’Fraid not. Apples won’t pick themselves.”

“I’ve got day shift on the weather team.”

“I have a fashion order that I’ll need to work on all night and all tomorrow as it is.”

“I have to plan the next Welcome to Ponyville Party to be even more splenderific than this one!”

Twilight offered, “Well, at the risk of getting teased by my friends…”

“Poacher!” yelled Rainbow Dash.

“…I should have some time free—”

Spike finished for her. “That will be 100% taken up by studying the homework that Celestia gave you.”

Her head spun around.

He continued. “Her hoof-written note about the unfinished spell in Starswirl’s spell book?”

After about one second, there was a burst of light and she was gone.

Spike sighed. “It was too good to last. I’d better get back to the library. She’s going to forget to eat again.”

I gathered up my things and poked at Rainbow Dash with a hoof. “Hey, Champ! Do you know a spot in town with good beer?”

She smiled back. “Hah! And don’t you forget it! Yeah, I know just the place.”

“Fantastic. Let’s just rescue Steady Flight from Lyra at the Bowling Alley. I’ll get some dry clothes, then you can show me the town.”

Her smile slipped for a moment, then it returned. “Sounds good. The more the merrier!”

We set off at a slow pace that, much to Rainbow’s annoyance, became even slower as my muscles reminded me that they had not quite recovered completely.

Extricating Steady from the bowling alley proved to be trickier than expected. He and Lyra had just started the deciding game of a three-game match, and I didn’t want to spoil their fun. Instead, Rainbow and I were encouraged to bowl a game while we waited.

“Have you ever bowled before, Mark?” Steady asked after I had acquired bowling shoes to slip over my hooves.

I had done so with Phil many times and was reasonably good for a social bowler. That was when I was a biped and had hands though, and I already knew how hard it was to stand on just my hind legs to walk, let alone try to bowl at the same time. And then there was controlling the ball with a hoof instead of fingers. I decided to play it safe. “I know how to play, but I can’t say I can actually bowl.”

“Just watch how I do it, and then try to copy me,” he advised.

I was in the lane next to his, so I was able to watch closely. Aside from the weirdness of a quadruped assuming a bipedal stance, there was frankly little difference between pony and human bowling. The only mystery was how he controlled the ball, achieving a well-judged spin that resulted in a strike.

“And that’s how you do it,” Steady said with a smug grin in the direction of Lyra.

“Show-off! Don’t count your win just yet,” the mare replied.

Rainbow had agreed to be my partner for the game, and she replied, “That’s right, Lyra. Let’s show these stallions how it’s done!”

Of course, she probably had only agreed because she knew it would give her one more opportunity to show her superiority over me. She proceeded to demonstrate exactly that and bowled first. She knocked down nine pins with her first roll, and picked up the spare with her second. She smiled smugly as she went to mark down her score.

Time to see if I could get through this without being a total dork. I picked up a ball – odd for not having any finger holes, but otherwise just like any other bowling ball I had ever seen. It was even a nice shimmery green to go with my coat color. I promptly dropped it. It was a lot more slippery and heavy than I had anticipated, and my days-old knowledge of how to pick things up with hooves had not properly compensated.

“You might want to start with a lighter ball meant for novices,” Rainbow said with a smirk.

That stung my pride, so I focused a lot of effort into picking up the ball and holding it firmly. I would not drop it again and give her the satisfaction of having another dig at me. Walking on just three legs, I positioned myself in front of my lane and then rose up on my hind hooves, the ball held firmly in both forehooves while I got my balance. You would think that someone who had spent most of his life on just two legs would be better at this, but a pony’s sense of balance was a lot different from that of a human’s. Nevertheless, I steadied and focused on the pins ahead of me. I wouldn’t try to do any fancy spinning – just a straight power shot placed in exactly the right position. I took a wobbling step and firmed my hold on the ball to maintain control of it, swung my foreleg back as I took the next step, then powered through the forward swing as I crouched down to release…

I found myself flying down the lane with the ball still firmly attached to my hoof. Between my light pegasus frame, the weight of the ball, and my determination not to drop it, I had managed to launch myself towards the pins. The lane was well-oiled and I skidded down it with the ball’s momentum dragging me along. I couldn’t get myself to let go, and I squeaked in terror as I hurtled towards the pins. With a loud crash, I barreled through them to come to a painful halt at the back, flying pins landing on top of me and one nearly braining me. Dizzily, I looked up to see the attendant behind the lanes scowling at me.

“Players must keep off the lanes!” the stallion snarled.

“Sorry,” I replied woozily.

The unicorn lifted me out of the lane with his magic and pointed me to the door at the side. I tottered back to the players’ area to find Rainbow rolling on the floor, laughing her ass off.

Steady merely grinned and said, “I thought you didn’t know how to bowl? You got a strike with your first roll!”

“Yeah – too bad it was a foul,” Rainbow promptly added.

“Let’s see you get a strike with your head this time,” I shot back as I walked off.

“Where are you going? Giving up already?” she said slyly.

“Nope. Finding a foal’s ball. I can’t humiliate myself any worse tonight.” And if I could beat that super smug mare with that, maybe it would knock her down a peg or two. Mark ‘Crash” Wells was not going down without a fight!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Whereas the previous chapter was mostly mine, this one was mostly by Airy Words. He had been working on it while I was doing chapter 8 which is why you get another chapter so soon.

Twilight Sparkle's Hayburger Restraining Order appears courtesy the generous Georg!

Art by Foxenawolf. Help me pay for more by buying me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 11 - For What Ails Thee

I woke up and gasped, my heart thumping wildly. My vision was blurred, but the last thing that I recalled was my terrifying ascent. I flared my wings in panic, only to hit something solid, making me flip and fall for a brief moment before I came to an abrupt halt. My nose, of course, bore the brunt.

“I advise that you calm before you do more harm.”

The voice was female with what I would call some kind of African accent – if that continent even existed on this world. I blinked rapidly to try to clear my vision as I turned my head and looked up at a figure looming over me. Gradually the view came into focus and I beheld an equine form with a Mohawk-style mane with grey and white stripes, gold earrings and necklets. She was looking at me with mild concern. She should be more worried – zebras don’t belong in the stratosphere! It took a long moment before my befuddled mind realized that I was lying on a wooden floor and not a cirrus cloud. I decided to ask some cogent questions.

“Wha—?” I croaked.

She lifted me with her front hooves and placed me on the cushioned surface nearby which I suppose I fell off. “Your body went too long without air. Now we must take extra care of what's in there.” She poked me with a hoof.

Now that she had brought it to my attention, my lungs felt as if I was breathing sand. They ached mightily, which is not too surprising as I think I had reached some rarified heights. This had to be a new achievement for me – I had endured many pratfalls in my life, but this was the first time that I had fallen up! So, how did I get here? And where was here?

I looked about me and noted the décor. Masks, bottles, jugs, and canisters adorned the walls and shelves inlaid into what appeared to be another tree-house, albeit a smaller one than Twilight’s library tree. A bubbling cauldron sat in the middle of the room and a strange smell permeated the air. As I watched, the zebra used a ladle to scoop some of the contents of the cauldron into a cup and brought it over to me.

“Five sips of this brew will help you heal true,” she said, holding out the cup to me.

I eyed it suspiciously, suddenly realizing that I seemed to be in a witch-doctor’s hut. “What’s that? And what’s with all the rhyming?” I rasped.

“A herbal potion made just for Mark Wells, and my way of speaking is one of my tells.”

“You know who I am? How?”

“Because I told her, dufus!” came a much more familiar voice.

I looked over to see Rainbow Dash standing in the doorway, scowling at me. She then turned to face outside and yelled, “Hey, girls! Sleeping Beauty is awake now!” The mare then went back to glaring daggers at me.

“Dash! What happened? How did I get here?”

The colorful mare trotted over and said, “First, take your medicine. Zecora’s cool.”

The zebra held out the cup once more. If Rainbow thought it was safe, I’d look stupid refusing it now. I took the cup and sipped the elixir. As expected, it tasted worse than my older brother’s socks (Don’t ask me how I know that!) Quickly, I sipped it four more times as directed. My sore and scratchy throat was immediately soothed, and the ache in my lungs dulled. I passed the cup back and said, “Thanks.”

“That should cure the painful wheeze. With my potions, I aim to please.”

“So why does every potion in Equestria taste so awful, anyway?”

“It is not a matter of style, why potions taste so vile. It is an incentive perhaps, not to do the same again and relapse. Now I insist you rest for a day. Only then will my concerns allay.”

I couldn’t fault that logic. With a sigh, I laid back down again. My memory was scattered and I tried to put the pieces together. “Remind me, Dash. Did our last flying lesson go super bad for me?”

She shook her head and furrowed her brow. “Nothing like that. Don’t you remember?”

I sighed. “Oh, you gave me mouth-to-mouth again and made me pass out.”

I heard her stammer. “No! I… I mean… well, I did give you mouth-to-mouth but only on the way here to get help.”

“Why don’t you just admit that your kisses are a danger to all stallions, darling… they are just too fragile.”

I turned to see Rarity trotting into the room and smiled. “Hey, Rares.”

“Hey yourself, Mark. Is that meanie Rainbow Dash threatening to kiss you into submission again?”

“You know that’s not how it happened, Rarity! I saved his sorry flank with my quick thinking and quicker flying!”

Applejack followed Rarity into the room. “And yer high-energy smooches, Ah reckon.”

Rainbow waved her forelegs for emphasis. “He wasn’t breathing! We were still at 50,000 feet! Of course I had to use desperate measures to try to get him to breathe again!”

Rarity smirked. “Oh, I’m quite certain you were desperate, darling. It’s a surprise you can think of anything except those lips of his.”

Rainbow stood with her mouth open in indignation, no words coming out.

Rarity glanced at Applejack long enough for a shared look and they burst out laughing. A few moments later Applejack spoke up. “Ah’m sorry, Rainbow. It was just too good an opportunity to razz ya a bit. Truth is, ya saved Mark and we’re very glad for yer heroics.”

Rarity nodded and pulled the pegasus into a hug. “Do forgive us, dear. We were just having a bit of fun at your expense.” She pulled back and looked Rainbow in the eyes. “Just think of it as repayment for the prank you pulled – the incident with the spaghetti.”

The blue pegasus lowered her wings as her agitation eased. “Yeah, that one may have gotten out of hoof, even for me. I suppose I might have deserved some payback.”

“Welcome back!” Pink suddenly filled my world. That could only mean one thing.

“Hi, Pinkie.”

She stopped hugging me and my face was released from the poofiness of her mane. She straddled me on what had to be the zebra’s… Zecora’s?... bed and gave me her trademark huge smile. Curiously, she wasn’t as heavy as I had expected. “Didja have any cool dreams while you were away? I bet you had the one where a 200-foot ice cream monster is attacking you and all you have is a plastic spork!”

Applejack said, “Pinkie, get off the patient. That’s not helpin’ him heal up none.”

I blinked and everything was dark. I used a hoof to lift what looked like a cowboy hat off of my face, only to see Pinkie riding on the back of a very unamused Applejack, her head where the orange mare’s hat used to be. Not wanting to get any further on the Element of Honesty’s bad side, I held it out to her. “So what happened, exactly? My recollection is somewhat spotty.”

Pinkie answered while Applejack took the offered Stetson in her teeth. “The Noodle Incident? We don’t talk about it.”

“No, I mean what happened to me? I really don’t know how I ended up here.”

Rainbow moved closer. “Do you remember being at Fluttershy’s?”

I frowned, thinking back. Everypony gave me time to collect my thoughts. I started to trace a path through my memories. Arriving, evil bunnies, Discord, on the roof, hovering practice, then the curvature of the planet. Oh.

I looked up. “Yeah, I remember now. My flight magic got stuck on full blast and I couldn’t stop climbing. I don’t know why or how. I blacked out when I got too high. After that – nothing until I woke up here. Where’s here, by the way?”

“Zecora’s home,” Rainbow explained, waving to the mare who smiled back at me while she ground some reagent in a mortar and pestle. “We were over the Everfree Forest by the time I got you down to a safe altitude, and she was the closest medical help.”

“The Everfree? Isn’t that the place that I was warned to stay away from?”

“Yeah, but me and the girls know the safe route here.”

“So, how did you find out I was in trouble?”

“I was working nearby and heard Flutters cry out, and if you ever can hear her from any distance, then you know there’s big trouble. I zoomed over, saw where she was pointing as you were taking off for the moon, and gave chase.”

“Where is Fluttershy, by the way?”

Rarity answered. “She was called away by one of her songbird friends. Apparently, there was an emergency with a spider.”

“Oh. A poisonous bite, then?”

She shook her head. “No. Some creature stepped on the poor thing.”

While I tried to wrap my head around that thought, Pinkie apparently sensed my confusion and went in for the kill. “Rainbow Dash is just too shy to give you the good news! Discord was taking measurements. He even gave me her old, obsolete award to re-jigger. You’re the new champ!” She hoofed over a plaque with several words struck out and new words stamped next to them.

Highest Altitude – Unassisted Flight Category

Mark Wells Rainbow Dash

72,143 ft 60,534 ft

Awarded by the Greater Equus Aeronautics Council

Two Sisters Year 2, Day 38 212

I looked over at the pegasus and started to have a better understanding of her foul mood. I held the award out to her. “Rainbow, I can’t take this. It’s yours.”

She rolled her eyes and grumbled. “Not anymore.”

Pinkie bounced over to Rainbow and gave her a hug. “Aww, don’t be a Gloomy Gus! Discord only gave me the one trophy out of all the ones you have. And sharing is caring!”

Rainbow shook herself free of Pinkie’s embrace and stomped over to my bedside. “Yeah, so what’s the big idea? I try my best to teach you and what do you do? You go on break my second-most-favorite record!”

Rarity spoke up. “Actually, darling, it would be more accurate to say Mark demolished your record. Completely obliterated it by over ten thousand feet.” That earned her a glare over Dash’s shoulder. Rarity was nonplused and shrugged. “It’s best to be accurate, dear.”

“Second-most-favorite?” I asked.

Rainbow’s attention returned to me. “Yeah. I totally would be hating you if you broke my Unassisted Ground Speed in Level Flight record. No pony better touch that one.”

I nodded to preserve my safety, but then remembered something. “You said ‘Unassisted’? ”

This got Dash into a better mood. “Hoo boy! That was a great moment in Equestrian history. You see, there was this crazy Wonderbolt second-stringer named Good Doer D. She loved to tinker and told Celestia that she could make a device out of fireworks and liquid candle wax that would allow pegasi to travel anywhere across the country in just minutes flat. With the Princess’ blessing, she got to work. About a year later, she was ready for her maiden assisted flight.”

“How did it go?”

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?”

That was an easy one. The longer Dash wasn’t thinking about how angry she was at me, the better. “All the news.”

The pegasus grinned. “She was the first, and to date, only pony other than myself to achieve a sonic rainboom. And that was more than a mile before she got to the judge’s stand. She topped out at well over a thousand miles-per-hour. Eyewitness accounts said she was grinning like a maniac the whole time. The bad news is that the heat from her device burned her back legs horribly, and her parachute only partially functioned. She was busted up pretty bad and Celestia confiscated her device and banned further research into the technology. She had to drop out of the Wonderbolts but gained immortality and the undying respect of all flyers. Heck, every single active and retired Wonderbolt, some griffons and even a young dragon visited her in the hospital!”

I smirked. “And you’ve been trying to figure out a way to convince Celestia and now Trixie to let you get your hooves on that device.”

She started to nod, then caught herself. She narrowed her eyes, looking at me. “Tell you what. You get me that thing, and I’ll consider us square and fair, sounds good?”

“Sorry I’m late.” Everyone in the room turned to the new arrival. Twilight Sparkle looked like she hadn’t slept since the day before. Her mane and tail were a mess and there were bags of fatigue under her eyes. “Spike convinced me it was a matter of life or death.”

Applejack responded, “Well, Ah reckon that may have been the truth at the time, but Mark’s out of danger now. Zecora’s done a right dandy job of treating him.”

Twilight observed me lying on Zecora’s bed and hurried over. “So, tell me what led up to this, Mark,” she asked, concern furrowing her brow.

I smiled and glanced at Rainbow Dash. “Well first, Rainbow tried her hoof at teaching me how to fly. After I got tired of the physical abuse—”

“Hey!”

I grinned. “...Applejack suggested I ask Fluttershy to teach me to hover. When I tried to push just a small amount of my magic into my wings, it seemed to get stuck in the ‘full blast’ position—”

Pinkie offered, “You mean the “have-a-drink-from-a-firehose position!”

I nodded. “That actually describes better how it felt. I’ve never felt even a fraction of that much magic go into my wings before.”

Applejack smirked and walked up to Rainbow. “Golly, Dash. Remin' me never to ask Fluttershy to teach anyone how ta buck trees. She's such an awesome teacher that Ah'd jus' end up with an orchard fulla matchsticks.”

Rainbow growled. “Look, I get it. But I'd like to point out that I did a sonic rainboom to get up to Mark’s altitude over the Everfree, even if I did have to wait for him to fall down to my flight ceiling. And I did another to get him here to Zecora’s. I knew she had something for altitude sickness.” She looked at me. “So technically, you're the third pony to achieve a sonic rainboom.”

She leaned closer and I could see the concern in her eyes. “My advice? Find out what went wrong before you try to fly again. Seriously, the last pony to get to that height was Nightmare Moon on the way to her all-expense-paid vacation.”

“Thank you for saving me, Dash,” I said with all sincerity. “You are truly awesome.” That seemed to perk her mood up a bit.

I then turned to Twilight with a grin. “Wow. The third to experience a sonic rainboom! Such a momentous achievement in my life and I can't remember one bit of it. I wonder what that's like?”

She smiled. “Well, I think we can rule out brain damage—”

Dash had to get one in. “You mean that wasn't already there!”

Twilight chuckled. “...which is the most troubling side effect of hypoxia, but I still want to do some scans.”

I nodded. “Go right ahead.”

Twilight’s horn lit up. Rather than the usual glow surrounding the target (me) such as with levitation, this time her magic drew a series of arcane scripts in a circular pattern. It then passed around me in a manner reminding me of a CAT scan. The mauve unicorn hummed thoughtfully.

“What’s the news, doc?” I asked.

“Oh. If you weren’t a pegasus, I would say that you should have died, but between your constitution and Zecora’s medication, I don’t think there’s any permanent damage. I’ll have to do some more detailed tests when we get back to my laboratory.”

I gulped. The laboratory that Spike had recommended that I avoid. Hooboy! “Any idea why this happened?”

Twilight shrugged. “Insufficient data for a firm conclusion yet, but my first hypothesis is that you simply panicked. Do you know of the ‘fight or flight’ response?” I nodded. “Well, I have a hunch that you were unnerved when you accelerated upwards much faster than you expected, and you went into the ‘flight’ option, and the further you went up, the harder you got locked into it. You just kept going until you lost consciousness due to hypoxia and the flight magic turned off.”

“But what turned me into a huma… equine rocket?” I asked skeptically.

“We’ll know more after I do my tests,” she replied. Then her smile grew a little too wide. Her twitching eyelid also did little to inspire confidence. “And now I have a great reason to run a series of experiments on you!”

Suddenly, Zecora’s potions didn’t seem so bad. What had I gotten myself into now?

While walking back along the path out of Everfree Forest, I realized how hungry I was. While not as bad as the Sobering Up potion, I had certainly run down my reserves. Since I was at the back of the pack of chatting mares, I looked around for something to snack on. Why not try this small blue flower? It looked just as good as the other flowers that I had been served lately. Sure enough, it tasted great but kind of felt like Pop Rocks once it got to my stomach. I belched loudly.

Applejack looked back over her shoulder. “Ya OK, there pardner?”

I trotted to catch up with a smile. “Yep, fine! Couldn't be better.” Maybe I could ask Spike to whip up a salad when we got to the library.

While the rest of the Elements waited for Fluttershy and visited upstairs, Twilight led me down into the depths of the Basement of Terror. When I asked Spike for a snack, he didn’t respond. He just gave me a very sad look as I headed to my science-y fate. That did not bode well.

Coming to the bottom of the Forbidden Kingdom, it was both exactly what I expected and not-so-much. Like upstairs, hollows in the walls of the room held books, although here the walls were made of dirt and roots. There were science instruments aplenty, most likely powered and operated through magic since there were no power cords anywhere. One somewhat blackened area of the lab held a solid stone lab table complete with flasks containing different liquids. One green bubbling solution in particular was heated by a guttering flame. The sign next to it said in bold letters: “DANGER! DO NOT ALLOW LIQUID TO STOP BOILING!” While I tried to point this out to Twilight, she assured me that everything was fine because she was the one doing the science here. Well, okay then.

“Yeah, you've definitely got the whole 'Mad Scientist's Lab' vibe going on, Twilight. All you need are some mutant animals in cages and a Jacob’s Ladder arcing electricity across its wires and it will be complete.”

The mare's head was down over one of her instruments. “Yep. That's what it’s for, alright.” Hadn't heard me at all.

“Twilight, can we take a break first and get some food? I’m super hungry right now.”

She finally looked up. I had to admit that in her padded lab coat and goggles, she looked absolutely adorkable. Wait. Was she wearing protective gear because she thought I might blow up?

“The sooner we discover the cause of your power surge the better, Mark. I have some theories, but until we know more, there’s the potential for it to happen again. That’s why I asked Rainbow Dash to stay around until we at least have a way to keep you from losing control again.”

I sighed. Hopefully Spike heard what I said earlier and would come down with something soon. “OK, fine. What’s first?”

She beamed. “Science is first! It’s always first!”

Wonderful. I just gave this universe’s biggest nerd the green light to experiment on me.

The purple unicorn turned her head and levitated something out from behind one of the cabinets of equipment. I stood in shock at the sight of what was undoubtedly a hypodermic needle, but it was literally longer than I was!

“Whoa! Whoa! Ease off on the science, lady! I’m not a whale you can drain ten gallons from for a blood test!”

She tittered unnervingly. “Oh, Mark. It only has a five gallon capacity, and, you know – Science!”

I surprised myself by raising my forehooves while backing away balanced on my rear hooves. “Now, now, Twilight! I don’t—YEOWCH!” I felt a sharp sting behind me. I turned to see a much smaller, full hypodermic needle float away from my hindquarters.

“See now? Wasn’t that not so bad?” She levitated the prop back to its original spot while the real McCoy floated over to what was certainly a microscope. “Pinkie Pie gave me that one as a gag gift for Hearthswarming, and it does a great job distracting the test subject.”

I rubbed the sore spot and glowered at her. “I would have given you a sample willingly. Your bedside manner needs a little work, Doctor Sparkle.”

I doubt she heard me. She was very carefully putting a few drops of my blood into a small pipette which she then put under the microscope. A purple field enveloped the sample and a bright lamp lit on the base directly under the pipette. Twilight levitated over a scroll and quill, then began dictating to herself as she stared into the twin eyepieces. “Test Subject: Mark Wells. Blood sample: A. Volume: 0.2 milliliters. Magic Potential Plateau test, trial one. Magic current applied: one micro-thaum per second.”

I moved a bit closer, curious despite myself.

For about two minutes, there was a slowly increasing red glow from the vial. All the while, Twilight frowned. “That just can’t be right. At mark, changing current applied: ten micro-thaums per second… and time mark.”

The glow increased faster. I decided backing up would be the prudent course of action.

After several seconds, she stated, “One hundred micro-thaums per second… and time mark.” Followed soon by, “One milli-thaum per second… time mark.”

The glow from the sample was getting hard to look at. I could only see Twilight by her silhouette.

“Thirty milli-thaums per second… time mark.”

The sample began to rattle audibly. I was getting very concerned. “Twilight, get out of there!”

“One thaum per second…”

I looked around for something sturdy to dive behind. I first saw the stone table but remembered the flask and warning notice on top. I settled for the niche where the giant hypodermic needle was hidden.

“…time mark.”

There was a large explosion followed by the sounds of tinkling glass and various debris landing around the room. When the noise settled down, I peeked out. Twilight’s mane was swept back and one lock was on fire. Her lab coat was much worse for wear but her goggles were intact. For that matter, the microscope looked untouched as well. Sturdy stuff! While I watched, Twilight muttered, “Hmmm,” then looked up from the eyepieces to jot more notes down. The parchment was intact, but only the nub of her quill remained.

I stumbled out from my makeshift bomb shelter and came up to her. “Twilight, are you alright?”

She held up a hoof to stop me while she wrote down what was apparently a very important observation. I took the time to lick the sole of a forehoof and used it to put out the bit of her mane that was still smoldering. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Your mane was on fire.”

She nodded like that was entirely expected and recorded the observation.

“Is everypony alright down there?” I heard Rarity call down the stairs.

“Just doing science on Mark!” yelled back Twilight. “I kind of caught fire for a bit but that was within expected outcome parameters!”

There was silence for a time. Finally, I heard Rarity call back. “You can call it what you like, Darling, but please don’t break the poor stallion.” I then heard the door close again.

This too was jotted down on Twilight’s scroll with a nod from the purple unicorn.

With a sigh, Twilight turned to me, using a hoof to raise her goggles onto her forehead. The raccoon mask created by the soot of the explosion made it hard to take her seriously.

“Do your experiments always end in explosions, Twilight?”

She tossed her head and smiled. “Only on good days. That’s how I know I’m on the right track!”

A slight crinkling sound made me turn my head. The flame that had been sporadically heating the green liquid had been blown out and the flask above it was riddled with cracks. The glass container suddenly failed, expelling the liquid onto the stone table’s surface which it quickly ate through with a release of a bright yellow gas.

“Yellow this time…”

I turned to see Twilight scribbling on a second parchment that appeared out of somewhere. “I was expecting baby blue…” She looked up with a sheepish grin. “Sorry! Multitasking!”

I shook my head. I felt a great deal of sympathy for Spike who must have been roped into the job of lab assistant for years. No wonder he had looked at me with so much pity when I started downstairs. “So the results of your… Something Potential Something test?”

She brightened. “Ah, yes! The Magic Potential Plateau test. I’m afraid you are defective, Mark.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

She nodded and walked over to a chalkboard. It pivoted around pins inserted on the middle of both sides, so she rotated to a clean piece of slate. Twilight drew some very crude red circles that I recognized as blood cells.

She continued. “Magical energy is stored in the cells of a pony’s body. For each pony type, the source is different.” The mare then added arrows in white chalk pointed into the cells. “For earth ponies, they get their energy from the ground. For unicorns, from nearby ley lines. For pegasi, from the magical energy carried in the air. Alicorns, obviously, have access to all three.”

Twilight now drew arrows in blue chalk going away from the cells. “Now normally, a pony doesn’t need to store much energy in their cells. The process of drawing magic pulls in replacement energy from the surroundings, and any excess charge from the constant energy draw just leaks out naturally.”

She turned to me and away from the chalkboard. “Now there are two obvious maladies that can happen. First, if the cells don’t have any magic in them or are completely drained of it, they won’t refill. Speculation is that the act of releasing a tiny trickle of magic opens pores that allow the larger ambient background flow to slowly replenish the cells. No magic out, no magic in.”

“The next is your condition.” She erased the blue lines. “On rare occasions, a pony’s cells have trouble releasing energy smoothly, resulting in bursts of extremely strong magic use. Unfortunately, you have the severest form of this. I’m afraid when your body was created, your cells were made without the ability to radiate out excess magic naturally. You can only release the tiny trickle needed to constantly receive a background charge.”

I sat on my rump. I started to see where this was going.

Twilight continued. “When you accessed your flight magic, the amount you had stored was beyond anything any pony has experienced before. When you opened your cells to release magic, your natural regulatory mechanisms were overwhelmed. Your cells spent all of their excess energy propelling you until that reserve was gone. You still have magic left in your cells, but we need to give you an artificial way to help you regulate it.”

She held out a forehoof, her horn glowed, and a boot of some sort appeared. It was tall enough to completely enclose a pony’s foot up to the pastern. “Your condition isn’t common, but like I said, your cells take it to a new level. This hoofshoe will ground out any excess energy your body stores. This one is sized and calibrated for an adult pegasus stallion. You need to wear it at least once per day, even if for just a few minutes.”

She floated it over to me and I tried the boot on a rear hoof. It was adjustable and soon I had the thing fitted well enough. I experienced what felt like a mild electric shock when it touched the ground the first time, but not the second.

Twilight nodded. “That was a discharge you felt. It might be a day or so before you build up enough charge to feel that again.”

I looked down at the floor and considered. “This is a lot to take in. Is there anything else I should know?”

“There are a couple of things. Your cells can store an incredible amount of energy before failing…”

I gulped. “You mean before I explode.”

She nodded. “Yes, exactly that. So it is important to use that shoe regularly.”

That wouldn’t be a problem to remember. I nodded as I took off the boot.

“I’m guessing that is another adaptation or misconstruction from your passage into this world and into your pony form.” She looked at my cutie mark. “Also, you probably want to avoid being repeatedly hit by some types of lightning. I don’t know if that is related to your cutie mark or not, but some storm clouds, such as those coming out of the Everfree Forest, have a large magical component. Those could potentially charge up your cells very quickly. Any other questions for now?”

I shook my head. ”That’s it for that topic. Thank you for helping me, Twilight.”

The purple mare smiled and her horn glowed. The soot fell off her body and her lab coat mended itself. Her mane and tail were still crazy, though. “No problem, Mark. Anything for Friendship!”

I smiled back. “Oh! I actually do have a question .”

Twilight smiled with welcoming eyes.

“Do I have the cells of an alicorn?”

Her smile fell and she chewed her lip for a moment. “I’ll have to say ‘no’ and ‘probably not.’ Why do you ask?”

“Well, since I seem to have this ridiculously large reserve of power, I thought there may be a possibility.”

“I see. I said ‘No’ because your cells only react to pegasus magic. I did a quick test with unicorn and earth pony magic while calibrating your sample. ‘Probably not’ because I don’t know how much magic an alicorn’s cells can contain before they fail. It’s not a well-known fact, but medical information about alicorns is protected at the same level as the most sensitive secrets in Equestria. Extreme measures are taken to ensure no enemy of the state could use that information to endanger their safety. The next time Princess Cadance visits, with your permission, I’ll show her your test results and ask for her opinion, but that’s the best I can do.”

I nodded. That all made sense, even if it probably wouldn’t amount to anything in the long run.

She clapped her hooves. “OK! I know you’re hungry, but I want to do one more test to ensure you are safe to move around upstairs. Got it in you for just one more?”

I sighed. “Just point me where you want me to be.”

In short order, I was standing in an open section in the middle of the room, a silver helmet on my head. The helmet had a random assortment of gems and gadgets hot glued on. A green wire led from it to a console with a printout that Twilight was studying while she pranced in place. A red and a blue wire came out of the console to another piece of equipment upon which my forelegs had been loosely restrained by metal bands. I could swear Twilight was happily singing the word ‘Science’ over and over again.

I glared at her from beneath my chrome dome. “Twilight, this is not a device for measuring magic, it is a colander for straining pasta. Please don’t run placebo trials on me.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she replied, then went back to her private, happy song.

She stepped back, put her goggles on, and a familiar purple glow surrounded me, twice.

“Mark, I have a magic inhibiting shield up now over you, and a shield spell if anything goes wrong. I want you to try to push a little magic into your wings. Don't worry, it's completely safe.”

Safe for her or safe for me? Regardless, I spread my wings cautiously and did as she asked. I felt my stomach gurgle again and heard a loud 'PING!' and suddenly Twilight looked shorter. I belched.

She gasped and stared at me with wide eyes. “What did I do!? I know I should never have changed the poles from plus to minus and from minus to plus! I must have reversed the polarity!”

I frowned, slid my forelegs out of the restraints, took the colander off my head, and looked at it in my hooves – that seemed daintier and were attached to very white forelegs. As I ruffled my wings, I noticed something new – a spiraling horn poking up from my forehead. With a much higher-pitched voice, I said, “Maybe there's something to this whole placebo thing after all.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

You should have run while you had the chance, Mark.

About half and half me and Airy Words this time.

Art by Foxenawolf. Background by Oxinfree.

Chapter 12 - Royal Command Performance

I held out a foreleg and poked the sole of my hoof with the tip of my new horn. Yep, it was sharp alright. Wait – did I just permanently lose the body I was just getting used to? I looked at Twilight to ask her a question but she was preoccupied with talking to herself and trying to read several scrolls and books at the same time. I’d have to get through her wall of paper and ink before I could get her attention. I started to walk on my hind legs towards her, only to realize that I was still holding her repurposed pasta strainer. I leaned back to the console it belonged on, lifting one leg in the air to keep my balance. Smoothly, I set the thing down and returned to standing upright. That’s when it hit me.

“Whoa.”

Twilight spared me a glance. “It’s alright, Mark! I’m sure I can fix this if I can just figure out what I did wrong.”

“It’s not that. Did you just see what I did? My balance is as good as when I was a human.”

Curious, I tried standing on one leg and doing a quick spin. I did three flawless revolutions before I chose to stop of my own accord. During the spins, I saw that I had a multi-colored pastel mane and tail trailing behind me. “Scratch that. I have even better balance and coordination than I’ve ever had, even as a human.” I looked up at her again. “Wait. Do I look like Celestia now? YEOWCH!”

Turning around, I saw another hypodermic needle float away towards the microscope, followed closely by a trotting purple unicorn. She said, “Superficially, yes. You sound and look like her, except for your cutie mark.”

I glanced back and saw she was right. My cutie mark was unchanged, although now it was on an alabaster white flank. I rubbed the spot she had taken the second sample from and glared at her. I wanted to berate her again but was afraid it would sound like I preferred the terrifying distraction more than the unexpected jab.

The mare put a few drops of my blood in a new pipette and stared at it through the microscope eyepieces for less than a minute. She then walked towards me, levitating her lab coat back to the microscope. “Your cells are exactly the same, so you are definitely not a real alicorn. You should still be opaque to unicorn and earth pony magic.” She waved my head down to her level. When I complied, she crossed her horn with mine. Her horn glowed. “Do you feel that?”

No, not really. “Ummm. What am I supposed to be feeling?”

She broke the connection and the lavender aura around her horn ceased. “That’s a definitive ‘no,’ then.” She looked me over, then sat down as she lifted her goggles onto her forehead. “Ok, Mark, think back. Do you remember anything unusual happening to you today?”

Apparently, Celestia’s deadpan stare was even easier to read than mine.

“I mean, strange for Ponyville.”

“I had the impression that what just happened to me is commonly known as ‘every other Tuesday.’ “

The mare opened her mouth then closed it, settling for frowning at me. Hey, I’d like to be helpful but she’d have to be more specific.

“OK, hold still while I check something.”

Because she didn’t lower her goggles, I decided to comply. Twilight built up the same glowing rune circle as before. I sat down cross-legged and pulled my knees in to make it easier for her to scan me. Just as she was about to finish the circle, it flared and disappeared.

“Celestia doesn’t sit like that!”

“So?”

She fumed. “It’s distracting!”

“So is looking like an alicorn mare. Get on with it!”

With one last glare, Twilight turned around and started to build the circle again.

I smirked. I shouldn’t. I really, really shouldn’t. I uncoiled and licked Twilight’s ear.

“GAAAAH!” she shrieked and threw up a hoof to rub the spit out of her madly twitching ear. The runes collapsed in on themselves again and flickered out. After hopping about on three legs for a few moments, Twilight recovered enough to scowl at me. “Stop that! It’s not funny!”

“I beg to differ – you’re hilarious when you’re flustered. Besides…” I put on my most matronly voice. “…you wouldn’t dare do anything mean to your sweet, beloved teacher.” I batted my eyes with the most loving look I could muster.

She growled and lit her horn for a moment but then let it go out. Holy horseshoes and hand grenades, that actually worked!

“Besides, I’m starving. I haven’t had anything to eat since I snacked on that flower on the way back from Zecora’s. And that one gave me indigestion.”

Twilight’s mood changed to one of surprise. “Were you still in the Everfree? Was it a bright blue flower?”

“Yes and yes. Does it matter? I mean, it tasted good but—”

She waved a forehoof to silence me and her horn lit again. Crap—spoke too soon. I cringed. This time a wide beam of magic emanated from her horn and washed over me. When done, she nodded. “Yep. That’s it. Poison joke.”

I frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“The flower you ate. It’s called ‘poison joke.’ It has a different effect on every pony. At least for the Elements, it was something that was the exact opposite of their defining characteristics. Pinkie Pie couldn’t talk, I couldn’t cast magic, Rarity’s coat became long and tangled, Applejack became pint-sized with the equivalent strength, Fluttershy got a deep voice, and Rainbow Dash lost the ability to steer.”

I smirked. “Sounds hilarious.”

She furrowed her brow. “For Spike, it sure was. It wasn’t for all of us, though. Thus the two parts of the flower’s name.” She looked me up and down. “Now in your case… ummm…”

“I went from my origins with zero magic to the being with the most magic?”

Twilight brightened. “Yes! I bet that’s it. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Maybe you’re a bit emotionally attached to the form I’m in right now,” I suggested.

The purple mare’s smile fell and she averted her eyes. She started to clop her hooves together nervously.

“What is it, Twilight?”

She lowered her hooves and stared at the floor, mumbling something.

I pricked my ears forwards and walked closer. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

She raised her head slightly but couldn’t look me in the eyes. The unicorn stopped herself and shook her head. “It’s stupid. Just forget it.” She started rocking from side to side.

I had a pretty good idea now what it was. I pulled Twilight into a hug and she didn’t resist. She leaned into me and started sniffling. I wrapped my neck around her, letting my mane cover her face. After a little while, my neck started to feel wet. She pulled back and looked at me with bloodshot eyes, but a smile. “T-Thanks, Mark.”

I was very glad to help. “Is there anything you would like to hear ‘Celestia’ say?’

Twilight wiped her tears away with a forehoof. “W-w-well…she would call me her faithful student.”

I beamed down at her proudly (as I imagine the real Celestia had done). “Oh, Twilight, my brave and faithful student.”

She gasped, said “OooOooOooh…”, then threw her forelegs around my neck and started bawling her eyes out. After a few minutes, Twilight calmed down enough to say, “I miss you…I miss you so much…”

I continued patting her on the back, gently stroking her mane while she cried. “B-b-but the worst part… is when I don’t think about you for hours at a time… then days at a time.” She gulped down her tears. “I don’t want to get used to you not being here but I don’t have a choice. It’s like part of me is trying to forget you and how much you mean to me.” She hugged me tighter. I knew there was nothing I could say right now to help her with her grief, so I just kept holding her.

Several minutes later, Twilight pulled back and I saw a lab rag hover over towards us. She grabbed it in her hooves and blew her nose a few times. After another long pause, she was able to smile at me once again. “Thank you again, Mark. I didn’t mean to burden you with that.”

I waved a hoof dismissively. “Twilight, both of my parents passed away suddenly. If I have any idea how you feel, then you have nothing whatsoever to apologize for.”

She gave me another hug—this time I knew it was for me.

Twilight took several deep breaths and walked back over towards the microscope, picking up her lab coat with her magic and putting it on again. She looked back at me over her shoulder. “Actually, you’re taking this fairly well, Mark. It’s not every day that a stallion gets turned into a mare and… what looks like an alicorn, at least.”

I waved a hoof. “Compared to almost dying yesterday, this is really more of an inconvenience. And obviously, there is a cure for the condition. Besides, you already told me that my cells were the same, so the difference is just cosmetic, right?”

I got a flat stare in return.

“Rrrriiiiiight?”

The purple unicorn tilted her head slightly and shifted a bit on her hooves. “Well… it would be more accurate to say that your cells process energy the same way, even if you are technically a mare now.”

I blinked and went and checked. My wings spread open in alarm. “Oh… OK, so maybe a little bit of a bigger deal than I originally thought.”

Twilight snorted and covered her mouth. She closed her eyes and made a little squee-ing noise. She put another forehoof on her mouth and her shoulders began shaking.

I rolled my eyes. “OK, Twilight – out with it.”

Her hooves pulled away from her smiling lips. “Not anymore!” She then started rolling on the ground, her hooves flailing in the air as she howled with laughter.

I sat down and folded my forelegs. When she had gotten her cleverness mostly out of her system, I admonished her. “Twilight Sparkle. I cannot imagine you saying or even thinking such a thing. That ‘Mark Wells’ character is apparently a terrible influence on you.”

She rolled over onto her hooves again and got up. “Oh, stop. I do have an older brother you know. And you don’t want to know what the mares talk about when it’s just us.” She looked at me appraisingly. “Or maybe now you do.”

I shook my head. “I prefer to think of mares as pure and innocent as a blanket of freshly-fallen snow, thank you.”

Twilight smirked. “You do realize that snow cannot nucleate except around an airborne impurity, don’t you?”

“And another shimmering light of my innocence is forever stamped out by a cruel and heartless mare.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes. “I’m afraid I can’t take responsibility for your refusal to deal with reality.”

“Between the poison joke and…” Probably not safe to say her name aloud. “…a certain pink mare, my definition of reality has taken a beating lately.”

“Heh. A point. You have my sympathies.” She sat down and sighed. “Well, I think we’re done here. Now it’s a matter of the best way to break the news to the girls.”

I grinned. “Best way, or most entertaining way?”

She looked at me sideways. “Are you proposing we prank my friends?”

“Well, duh! When will you have this opportunity again?”

Twilight started dancing on her hooves. “Oh, yes! This is going to be great!” She moved closer and we started trading ideas in whispers—

Twilight ascended the stairs in front of me. She slammed the door open and I watched her walk into the main floor of the library in a dazed manner. All conversation stopped upstairs.

I heard her voice filter down to me. “I did it… The portal… I finally did it.” That was my cue.

I put on my most regal bearing (thanks for the unintentional lessons, Trixie) and clopped deliberately up the stairs.

The questions aimed at Twilight stopped as first my head, then most of my body exited the doorway. My right flank was pressed up against the side of the stairwell to make it invisible, and I held my tail to the side to cover my left flank. I glared down at the ponies in front of me. All of them except Pinkie took Twilight’s cue and bowed down deeply. For her part, Pinkie looked confused and her left ear and back right leg seemed to be experiencing tremors. Spike was absent, perhaps out running errands.

I drew in a breath and settled on a tone that would brook no argument. “Greetings, My Little Ponies. I am, on the whole, pleased to be back among you. Twilight has informed me of what has transpired in the absence of myself and my sister. As your rightful princess, I believe now is the time to make a few changes to set things right.”

There were some generally positive murmurs from those assembled, except for the party mare who stopped shaking random body parts and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. I’d better hurry up.

“Dame Pinkamena Diane Pie. All parties will henceforth be known as ‘pinkies.’ And I would like to request the biggest and pinkest Pinkie Pie pinkie that has ever been seen by anypony to celebrate our return.” Her eyes went wide and I leaned forward, matching her previous narrow-eyed glare. “Are you pink enough for the job, Pinkie?”

The party mare stood at attention and snapped off a salute. “Private Pinkie-class Pinkie Pie Publicizing Perfect Production of Prodigious and Profligate Pinkies, Princess!”

I nodded. “I am proud of you.” Twilight was having trouble keeping her composure. She hid her muzzle a bit more by curling her head even further between her front legs which were prostrate on the floor.

I turned to Applejack. “Dame Applejack Apple. Long have we endured without proper sustenance. Our time away from fair Equestria has only heightened our appreciation of the fine produce your family is known for. From this day forward, you will be known by the title ‘Duchess of Heavenly Fruit.’ ”

“Why, thank ya kindly, Princess!” The orange mare lifted her head with a warm smile.

I then muttered under my breath just loud enough for everyone to hear. “Too bad they don’t taste as good as pears.”

The farm pony’s mouth hung open and her pupils shrank to pinpricks. Twilight saw this, closed her eyes, and her whole body began to vibrate.

“Rarity. You are now the Official Seamstress for the Solar Throne. Congratulations.”

Somehow, the purple-coifed unicorn bowed even deeper. Boy, was she flexible! “My deepest thanks, Your Highness.”

I frowned. “As you can see, my vestments were lost between worlds. Rather than replicating my centuries-old designs, I charge you with creating something new and appealing for the Royal Gear.”

Rarity gasped and started to fan herself. Fluttershy pushed up a divan that I was sure was not there just a few seconds before. The yellow pegasus’ timing was outstanding as the Element of Generosity swooned majestically into its embrace. “Oh, thank you, Your Highness! I will, of course, work tirelessly to surpass your expectations.”

“Thank you. Keep in mind that my expectations will involve lace and silk.”

“…Oh?”

I nodded. “Indeed. I’m tired of being the ‘Ice Princess.’ Something with more sex appeal is required to break me out of my self-imposed rut with stallions.”

“Ah! So you are talking about...”

“Lingerie.” I waved a forehoof once dismissively and forcefully. “Don’t worry about the nobles. Once they see their Princess emphasizing her best aspects, they will follow suit. Fashion will bend to the Royal Will.”

“….ummmm…” Rarity raised a hoof to perhaps make a point, but I had moved on. I looked directly at Fluttershy.

“Gentle Fluttershy – Element of Kindness and friend to all animals. Would you do me the favor of teaching a new song to the birds in the Royal Gardens?”

The yellow mare’s eyes sparkled and she smiled. “Oh, yes! Absolutely, Your Highness. Of course, I can only ask for their help, I can’t force them to do so.”

I nodded. “As is proper. I would not have it any other way.” She beamed. “And while you’re at it, have that Angel of yours fixed.” Her smile fell. “If there is one thing that could make that devil bunny stop being such a terror to all around him, it is worth a try.”

I turned to the blue Pegasus who was still prostrate before me. “And lastly, but certainly not least, Rainbow Dash. I call on you to stand proudly before your Princess.” She sprang to do so like a coiled spring. “Element of Loyalty. Fastest of all Pegasi.” I pointed a hoof at her. “You’re awesome. Don’t ever change.”

That got the biggest smile I’d ever seen out of Rainbow Dash. “No, Princess. You’re awesome!”

Applejack had recovered somewhat and now her head swiveled back and forth between us as we traded compliments.

“No, Rainbow. You are the awesome one here.”

“Thanks, Princess – or can I call you Celestia? But you are truly awesome.”

I shook my head. “But your awesomeness is supersonic.”

“And yours is out-of-this-world.”

“True. Perhaps we’ll just have to make do with being awesome together.”

“That works for me! Hey, guys? How great is it that Celestia is back and more awesome than ever?”

That did it. Twilight fell over on her back and shrieked in laughter, kicking her hooves in the air as she had before. Everypony else looked at her for a few moments before their eyes settled back on me. I smirked in a way that I doubt Celestia ever had and strode the rest of the way into the room, letting my tail uncover my left flank.

Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack all pointed at my flanks and yelled, “Ahhhhhhh!”

This just made Twilight’s guffaws get louder.

Applejack marched up to me. “Ya done hoodwinked us!”

Fluttershy took some deep, calming breaths. “Oh, thank goodness.”

Rarity sputtered as she got close. “Mark! The nerve! That was not very—“

“Ladylike?” I suggested with a smile.

“…Polite!” finished the fashionista.

Pinkie deflated a bit. “So… no party?”

I turned to her. “Of course there should be a party! We’ll just have to call it a ‘party’ instead of a ‘pinkie’. ”

I then found myself staring down the barrel of a cannon which went off before I had a chance to move. I spit out some confetti as I absorbed a very pink hug.

Rainbow Dash looked around her friends and shrugged. “I don’t get it. So Celestia got Mark’s cutie mark. Big deal.”

Applejack rounded on her friend. “That’s there is Mark pretending…” She stopped and looked me up and down. “…really, really well to be Celestia. If’n you’d been paying attention ta what she said to us all, you’d a noticed that somethin’ was off about her.”

“Pfffft!” The pegasus gave the farm mare a very skeptical look. “Of course that’s the real Celestia. You’re just jealous because you’re not as awesome as the two of us.”

That got a new wave of laughter from Twilight, who was pounding the floor.

Applejack towered over her purple friend. “This was your idea?”

She got a smile and nonstop giggling in return.

The orange pony glared over her shoulder. “Both of y’all?”

I tried to look innocent but failed utterly.

After one last scowl, the Element of Honesty sat on her rump. “Horseapples. Ah hate when Ah get taken for a ride like that.”

I smiled apologetically to the stubborn blue pegasus. “Sorry, Rainbow. Poison joke did this to me. I’m afraid your Princess is still missing.”

She frowned with her forelegs crossed. After a few seconds, she said, “I don’t want to admit it, but I don’t have much choice, do I?”

“Don’t worry, Dash. You’ll always be awesome to me.”

That got her frown to go away for a second before it returned. “But there still needs to be payback. You made a fool out of me.”

Rarity spoke up. “Actually, I think you did that to yourself, darling. You can’t blame poor Mark for your stubbornness.”

“Sure I can.” She lifted off the ground and hovered just an inch before my nose. “I think you owe us now.”

I shrugged. That sounded harmless enough on the face of it. Might even be fun.

“Well, what did you mares have in mind? What’s something you always wanted Celestia to say or do but never had the guts to ask?”

I got several wide-eyed stares followed by thoughtful looks.

I felt a light poking on my side… almost like a butterfly trying to land but then thinking better of it.

“Umm… excuse me… Mark? I actually… I mean if you wouldn’t mind… would you please give a hug to all of the animals who stay with me? That would mean so much, really.”

My eyelid may have twitched once at the thought of a certain bunny rabbit, but I couldn’t refuse. “Of course, Miss Fluttershy, but I don’t know how I can get to your house without causing pandemonium in the streets.”

“Not a problem.” We turned to see Twilight walking up. She placed a forehoof on each of us. “Ready?”

Fluttershy and I looked at each other, smiled, and nodded.

In the end, even the spiders wanted hugs, and I didn’t skimp. Every creature great and small got the full nuzzle with wings wrapped around them, too. Harry Bear was the only one I had to stand to hug, but I came out of his bone-crushing grip only a bit short of breath so I counted that as a win. The other animals then insisted it was Fluttershy’s turn for an alicorn hug and Harry made sure she didn’t escape my cuddles. As expected, Angel Bunny wanted nothing to do with me and only relented when Fluttershy declared that it would make her sooooooo happy. Defeated, he marched into my embrace. He was a perfectly-behaved soft fluff of fur for the duration of the hug, only to kick me in the knee as soon as I raised my wings and let my guard down.

Twilight then teleported us back to the library. From the smirks of the remaining Elements in front of me, I knew they had all made up their minds what ‘favor’ they would ask. I held up a hoof to stop them before they started. “Girls, I’m sorry, but I need a break. Your Princess is absolutely famished.” They all took a step to the side to show me possibly the most wonderful sight I had ever seen – not one but two cakes on a collapsible table.

Pinkie stood up and put on a dramatic pose, holding one foreleg low and another high. “Ta-da! Since Applejack told me everything is being paid for by the Great and Just-Bill-Me Trixie, I thought to bring over a little something I whipped up this morning!”

I practically stumbled over to the table, doubtless leaving a trail of drool behind me. My royal nose told me on the left was a simple carrot cake with buttercream frosting. The one on the right, however, was more complex. Its plain, dark chocolate fondant exterior hid untold treasures within. Pinkie pulled out a very generous slice and set it on a plate in front of me, revealing all six colors of the rainbow swirled in a marbling pattern. I could practically taste the kaleidoscope of flavors: strawberry, orange, banana, lime, elderberries, and plums.

“I used up all the blueberry extract and pie filling yesterday,” apologized Pinkie. I barely heard her.

“But what are all you girls going to eat?” I asked as the mares gathered around the table. They all got a good laugh, except for Twilight, who lowered her goggles over her eyes.

I tasted carrots for a couple of seconds, followed by a rapid-fire wash of different sweet fruits for a couple seconds more. Then I lifted my head and burped with a sigh.

Looking around, I perceived a few things at the same time. Frosting and bits of cake were splattered everywhere. There were six pony-shaped clean sections on the books and bookshelves all around me. I was ringed by looks of horror except for Twilight, who raised her now-stained goggles and smiled.

“I’ve seen that look before. That was when Celestia got banned from the baker’s kitchen.”

I looked hopefully at all the frosting and cake bits that I had missed, only to have them all disappear in a wave of magic from the purple unicorn. Rather than looking relieved, the girls kept staring at me open-mouthed. I shrugged my shoulders. “I told you I was hungry.”

Applejack seemed to recover from her shock first. “Ya gonna be okay now for a while, Mark?”

I patted my stomach then made it look like I was really mulling over her question. I looked up. “No promises.”

The farm mare rolled her eyes and hoofed over a sheet of paper. I looked over the sets of four lines. “Sing these lyrics?”

She nodded with a smile.

“And amp up the country accent?”

“You betcha!” She turned to face Twilight. “Do ya know where I hang my banjo in up in the living room?”

“Yep!” The unicorn disappeared with a flash and a bang.

I headed to the far side of the library, grabbing the distracted Applejack’s Stetson on the way.

“Hey!” she protested.

“Method acting!” I called back, setting the hat on my head. When I did turn back around, I saw Twilight teleport in said banjo and float it over to Applejack and immediately pop out again. The farm mare checked her instrument’s tune as Twilight reappeared with a camera and what I guessed was an audio-recording device. The unicorn set up both as Applejack started plucking out a refrain. Twilight gave me a nod. I had no trouble picking out when to start singing.

“We travel the road of generations.
Joined by a common bond.
We sing our song 'cross the pony nation,
From Equestria and beyond.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDo9KFvMNX8

Applejack joined me for the first chorus, then the rest of the mares did the same each time it was repeated.

To my surprise, Pinkie jumped in at the end to do a stanza that wasn’t on my sheet, then we all belted out the last chorus together with an ending flourish from Applejack’s banjo.

When the song was over, everypony cheered Applejack. She returned the favor. “Thank ya kindly, everypony. Ever since I was a wee foal, Ah’ve wanted to hear Celestia sing the Apple Family Song.”

I walked up and held out her hat. “That was a load of fun. I thought you were going to ask me to try to drink you under the table on apple cider or something.”

She smiled and put the Stetson back where it belonged. “Naw. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Mark. I reckon we’ve got us a bit o’ time before we git to that.”

My grin slipped a bit, but Pinkie cured that for me. A pink foreleg moved in a blur in front of my vision. “Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!”

I laughed. “I guess I’ll pick Pinkie next.”

“YAY! I know just what I want Celestia to do.” Turning around once, she then faced me again, this time with one large ring and three smaller ones.

“Hula hoops?” I asked.

“Nope!” Pinkie beamed. “Loop-de-hoops! Show us what you can do, hot stuff!”

I took the proffered rings and walked on two legs back to the other side of the library. Twilight finished adjusting her camera and smiled at me. I tried to remember the last time I had used these and couldn’t. Oh, wait, yes I did. I tried to impress some girl in elementary school with my skills and the results were exactly what anyone would expect from a person with my level of coordination.

Holding the three smaller rings in one hoof, I placed the large ring around my waist and started to rotate my hips, keeping my wings tight to my barrel. Automatically, I sped up slightly when I could tell the hoop was getting too low. After just a short while, I found the sweet spot and was able to keep it there, even rotating my body in a circle to the whoops and hollers of a certain party mare. Holding my forelegs up high, I started a simple shower pattern with the three remaining rings, switching to a cascade, columns, and finally Mills Mess as my hips continued to work on their own. That was the extent of the tricks I knew from Phil trying to teach me in college. I was fairly certain this body could do more complicated patterns, but I didn’t have any muscle memory for them even if I had seen them done on occasion. Now, what else could I do with the smaller rings?

Inspiration struck. I called out, “Scrunchie!” and received a yellow band of some elastic material from Pinkie. I put the three smaller rings around a forearm while using my hooves to gather up my mane to rest more-or-less high up on my head.

I placed a smaller hoop at the base of my long neck and tried to synchronize my neck movements with those of my waist. After a few false starts, my body figured it out and I heard the appreciative calls of the mares present. For my final trick, I spun the two remaining rings around my forelegs. I heard hoof stomps and I know I was grinning like a loon. I had never had this kind of dexterity before and I was sure enjoying it.

“Think fast!” I heard Pinkie cry out. I saw another small ring arcing towards me and it landed squarely around my horn and started to spin to the base.

“Ack!” I called out but tried to keep the new intruder from rising too high or falling too low. At one point, the ring spun right at the tip of my horn and I thought I had lost it, only for the hoop to fall back to a workable height. For a few glorious seconds, I was in total control of every ring and my body twisted and turned in a perfectly coordinated dance.

Then I let the ring around my horn fall, slapped the two on my arms over my horn to follow the first, and bounced the large hoop over my barrel then shoulders. I finished with a huge smile and with every hoop resting around my neck.

All the mares yelled their approval and Pinkie was doing cartwheels across the room by bouncing off her rump and head alternately. At some point, Spike had snuck in and was giving me much more traditional applause with his hands and claws.

I bowed, sliding the rings off of my neck and head smoothly and returned to all fours… well, threes as I held them out to Pinkie. As the party pony took them, I turned to the purple unicorn. “Twilight? I’ve never had that kind of coordination before. Does Celestia really have this level of physical agility?”

She tapped her chin in thought. “Not that I’m aware of. I think this is more a case of poison joke making you the opposite of your normal, clumsy self.”

Huh. I spread my wings. “I wonder if that extends to flying, too?”

Rainbow Dash spoke up and drew close, flashing her trademark grin. “Just in case you’re wrong, let’s try that later. I still have my orders to give you.”

I frowned. “You mean your polite request or I’ll turn it down on principle.”

She backed up a step but her smile remained unchanged. “Yeah, yeah, pretty-please request, whatever.”

About as good as I was going to get, I suppose. I sat down. “So what do you have in mind?”

Having Applejack (right shoulder), Rarity (left shoulder), and Pinkie Pie (straddling both) climb my back and then stand on me was not that stressful. Keeping my balance on my hind legs was hard but doable. Holding a rear leg of Applejack and Rarity helped stabilize the mare-tower, despite the wobbling and shaking. Even when Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash alighted on us to make the third layer, that wasn’t the worst thing.

“Twilight!” intoned the five elements above me. I was too busy concentrating on my job as the basement of the structure to say anything.

The mare in question looked down into her camera’s eyepiece for at least the twentieth time. “Just one more second! The framing still isn’t right!”

“TWILIGHT!” I heard again. I could see that my muzzle was starting to turn a shade of pink from the exertion.

“Applejack, are you reaching out as far as you can? I don’t want to have it be outside the field of view.”

“TWILIGHT!”

“Fine, fine. I’ll just waste some of the negative and crop it later. Sheesh!” She turned to her draconic brother. “Snap the shutter as soon as I appear on top.” With that, she disappeared and I definitely felt the extra weight. I also heard gasps from above me as the rest of the girls did too.

After a few moments swaying, we kind-of, sort-of, got stable again.

“Now, Spike!” I heard Twilight call out.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want me to—”

“SPIKE!”

Ow. That hurt my ears. And now one of my knees was shaking uncontrollably. “Better….hurry…” I choked out.

“Ok, Ok, fine. How does this shutter release work again? Oh yeah, I remember. Smile everypony! …and……. now.”

My body didn’t wait to see if he was ‘just kidding’ or not. I collapsed followed by a thundershower of Elements of Harmony burying everything but my nose. Groans came from all around, including me.

“And there’s a second shot, just to preserve this majestic moment. Thanks for your cooperation, everypony.”

All I could do was make weak threats, but it would be better than nothing. “Spike? If I’m ever able to move again, I’m going to eat...” I addressed nopony in particular. “What does Spike collect?”

“Power Ponies Comics,” said two or three mares from the heap above me.

“…eat your entire Power Ponies collection… without salt.”

As the rest of the mares rolled off of me, I tried to get up, but my back started to spasm, bringing that to a quick halt. I heard the movement of wings and then I felt four hooves start pressing and pulling alternately on my back. It hurt for a little while, but soon my spasms ceased. I looked behind me to see Fluttershy continue to work my back muscles expertly.

She smiled. “Harry Bear has the worst time with his back after he wakes up from hibernation. Is this helping?”

I nodded. “Don’t you ever stop, Fluttershy. You’re a life-saver.” I spread my wings to their fullest and did my best impression of a limp noodle.

After a couple of minutes, Twilight limped up with a print of our formation. Gritting my teeth, I put in the effort to rotate my head straight so I could see it from the correct perspective. I whistled despite myself. We looked just like an act from the old circus shows back home. Four layers of mares standing upright with just me on the bottom. Legs and arms and wings stretched outwards wherever possible. Everypony except me had a reasonably convincing smile on their faces. Rainbow Dash snatched the photo away and studied it.

I looked up at her darkly. “We are not doing that stunt again, just to see if I can smile the next time.”

She looked down at me. “But it would be that extra little-bit awesome if you could just—”

“Unless you want to be on the bottom layer.”

“Nah, this is good. I’m happy.” With that, she flapped over to Applejack to show off the photo.

Rarity was back on her couch, fanning her face as she composed herself. After I caught her eye, I tried to put on my most piteous face. “Please tell me you don’t want me to do anything strenuous. Pretty please.”

“Not at all, Darling. Just some standing around.”

I waited for her to continue.

“There are some fashions I would love to try on a living alicorn model. It’s just that… it would be improper for me to ask the real Celestia.”

To my horror, I picked up on her hidden meaning right away. The wait until getting this over with was going to be just as bad as the act itself. “You want me to model lingerie. That was only supposed to be a joke!”

When I didn’t get any response contradicting my hunch, I covered my eyes with my forehooves. “…and that’s why you saved the most humiliating for last. Just wonderful.”

“Darling, don’t think of it that way. Making a mare feel desirable is the epitome of all fashion. Undergarments are just the purified essence of doing the most with the least.”

“…which you all will doubtless use to tease and torment me for the rest of my days.”

Applejack approached on my right. “Gosh-sakes, no, Mark. We all appreciate that yer helpin’ us out when ya don’t really hafta.” I lowered my hooves and looked up at her.

Rainbow Dash snorted. “Speak for yourself, Applejack. I plan to think back on today as the funniest in ages!”

Applejack growled. “An’ Ah’ll personally feed you yer left front hoof if ya go shamin’ Mark about any a this. Got that, pardner?”

The blue pegasus waved a hoof. “Yeah, yeah. Fine.” At the farm pony’s continued glare, she added, “Alright! I mean it!”

I turned to Rarity. “And you’ll want to photograph the heck out of this, right?”

The fashionista nodded proudly.

Twilight smiled. “I’m also going to set up one of the speak-and-see crystals to record the entire fashion show.”

I sighed. “I’m probably going to regret this, but I don’t see anything wrong with your request. Deeply, personally troubling but not wrong.”

“Thank you, dear.”

I wasn’t done. “Two conditions. One: No Spike.”

“Awww!”

“You don’t deserve it. Two: Trixie never, ever, ever finds out about this.”

That was met with nods all around. Pinkie spoke up. “Do you want us to Pinkie Promise?”

I shook my head. “No, I trust all of you, including Spike. All of you are good for your word.” That earned a smile from the mares, especially Applejack. It also seemed to perk up the small dragon a bit.

I looked back at my masseuse. “Thank you, Fluttershy. I think I’ll try to get up again now.” She smiled and hovered next to me, ready to assist. There were a couple of twinges, but no pain when I stood. I twisted my back around experimentally for a bit then smiled. “Your magic hooves did the trick! Thank you again.”

“I’m happy to help. Let me know if you need another session.”

“I will.” I turned to see the rest of the mares grinning at me, all of them lined up at the front door. Twilight carried her camera in her magic and floated a gray, hooded cloak over me. My furled wings and flanks were completely covered and my face was partially obscured. She then turned to her little brother. “Spike, you’re in charge of the library.”

He grumbled. “Fine. I want to see photos, though.”

“When you’re older…maybe,” replied Twilight in a practiced tone. “Let’s go, girls!”

Rarity led the way as we cantered along the streets of Ponyville. The remaining Elements chatted away behind me as I dutifully headed off to my silk and lace-trimmed fate. Belatedly, I noticed that Twilight placed herself behind me this time, perhaps afraid I would go off and bite some more greenery. Come to think of it, I was still very, very hungry. Despite this, I was pretty sure I’d be fine for Rarity’s private fashion show. That thought went out the window as soon as I smelled it. We must have moved just downwind of Sugarcube Corner because I stopped in my tracks and my nose started twitching.

Applejack almost collided with my backside. “Whoa! Ya OK there, Mark?”

I couldn’t speak as the scents of Snickerdoodles, eclairs, rhubarb and strawberry pie, and more varieties of cupcakes than I could count prodded the animal side of my brain. But I was not an animal. I was a living, breathing, thinking… horse. Crap.

In that moment of weakness, I smelled cherry chimichangas. I immediately spread my wings and hurled myself into a half-loop followed by a half barrel roll. I saw a flicker of Twilight’s horn lighting but my cloak ended up covering her face as it blew off of me. I’m sure the girls tried to say something but I was already picking up speed with powerful beats of my wings. I crested one house, angled between two more on the following block, and landed in a dead gallop with my destination in sight. Ponies shrieked and dove out of the way as I took the shortest path to Sugarcube Corner. I flicked an ear when I heard Rainbow Dash approach me from above, but her efforts were in vain… I was in no mood to share. With a flick of my wings and quick application of my flight magic, I bounded upwards and used my superior mass to bounce her away from my path to the door. I vaguely recalled the screams of ponies as I devoured my way through all the items in the display case. By the time the Elements had gotten past the fleeing customers, they were far, far too late. All that remained were perhaps a half-dozen cupcake wrappers littering the floor behind the display counter and my stomach was distended a bit. I sighed pleasantly and wondered why the mares in front of me looked so cross… and where was Rainbow Dash?

Pinkie looked especially serious as she aimed her party canon directly between my eyes. “Sir or Madam. I need you to put all four of your hooves in the air and move yourself off of Mr. Cake.”

I blinked, decided not to think too hard about the first part, and looked down. Sure enough. A quivering Mr. Cake (nice chap – remembered him fondly from the party) had been repurposed as my seat cushion. I quickly scrambled off of him. A quaking Mrs. Cake moved closer, brandishing a rolling pin for defense, and dragged him into the kitchen and safety.

I blinked and tried to collect my thoughts. It all seemed like it had happened to another pony and I was just a spectator. “What happened, exactly?”

Just then, Rainbow Dash swooped in, pieces of wood and roof tiles tangled in her mane and tail. She grinned and spread her forehooves wide. “I’ll tell you what happened! You gave me the most awesome body check ever! You’re going on my A-league air hoofball team, mister!”

Twilight glared at the pegasus. “Rainbow! We are not condoning this kind of destruction!”

The blue mare scoffed. “Are you kidding? Did you see that timing? Mark even clipped my wings so I had no choice but to go completely through the wall and the roof too. That was—”

“…totally awesome from your perspective, yes, I’m sure, darling. But now we have to deal with the damage he caused.”

I shrunk down a bit as I looked over what used to be a glass cabinet full of the shop’s wares. Now only empty trays and knocked-over shelves remained. I felt my ears flatten on my head. “I’m sorry.”

I turned to look at the kitchen, where the proprietors were now staring at me, probably scared I would go into another feeding frenzy.

I sighed. “I’m afraid the scent of your wonderful baked goods drove me temporarily insane. I thought I could resist but…”

Pinkie had come up beside me unnoticed and pulled my muzzle down to look me in the eyes. She gave me a sad, searching look. “It was the cherry chimichangas, wasn’t it?”

I closed my eyes in shame. I could only nod my head.

I felt Pinkie hug me, then two more sets of hooves shortly afterwards. I opened my eyes to see Mrs. Cake’s smiling face with her husband on my other side. “It’s alright, dear. Twilight is the same way about cheesy quesadillas.”

I heard an indignant noise from the other side of the counter.

Mr. Cake nodded to a sign on the wall behind him. “It’s why we don’t serve them anymore.” I looked at the sign:

No more quesadillas

You can blame Twilight Sparkle

“That is largely untrue!” protested the purple unicorn. The rest of the girls closed their eyes and left her standing by herself in the middle of the floor. “I’m not crazy! I was just a little high-strung that day, alright?” she protested as she followed the mares out of the shop.

By this point, only myself and the Cakes were left in the shop. I hugged each of the Cakes in turn and said, “Please bill Empress Trixie for all the damages I caused.” I was more than a bit concerned about how many times I had been forced to say those words.

Once again covered in Twilight’s cloak, we made it to the Carousel Boutique with no further property damage. I checked my stomach and it was back to its normal, slim outline. Twilight had followed my eyes and smiled at me. “Your body has already processed all the food you ate. I hope you’re not still hungry?”

I took stock of how I felt and decided I was not famished for a change. “Nope. Good for now.”

I shook off the garment and turned to Rarity. “Before we even get started, just plan to bill Trixie for everything I break or ruin, OK?”

Rarity put a gentle hoof on my shoulder, prompting me to look into her eyes. “Mark, I know that these last couple of days have been a bit of a rough patch, but please don’t beat yourself up like this. Ponyville has been largely destroyed four times in the last couple of years, and we always pull together to help each other and rebuild. Not to make you feel inferior, but I’m afraid your little Reign of Destruction doesn’t even count as an event worthy of the school paper. So promise me that you’ll forgive yourself the way all of us already have?”

I looked around at nothing but friendly smiles. And that was really it, wasn’t it? I had friends here that accepted me, even at my worst.

I turned back to Rarity and gave her a hug. “I think… no, I know I can do that, Rarity.”

She returned the hug. “Thank you, darling. We truly want the best for you.”

I pulled away and smirked. “And that includes the best in intimate, nighttime apparel, doesn’t it?”

The unicorn shuffled her hooves a bit. “If this makes you uncomfortable, Mark…”

I shook my head. “I know how much this opportunity means to you, Rarity. And I’m sure the rest of the audience won’t do or say anything to make me feel self-conscious.” I turned to glare at the other Elements but instead blinked.

Five poolside lounge chairs had been set up, complete with popcorn and fruity drinks with little paper umbrellas in them. Pinkie put on a pair of sunglasses and waved a hoof. “Let’s get this fashion show started!”

The first change the fashionista made was to apply two alabaster fabric patches to my flanks where they stuck like a second skin. They completely covered my cutie marks and then, with a quick spell from Rarity, took on Celestia’s instead. An invisibility spell on the edges made the effect look seamless. When I asked, the unicorn explained that the magic of cutie marks made it nearly impossible to alter them, so they had to be covered to get the desired effect. It was a common technique used in the fashion model profession.

After an hour of sewing, fitting, and alterations later, Rarity gave me some last minute advice before I was to step out of her side room and onto the improvised ‘runway’ with her first outfit. “Mark, we all hope that someday Celestia will return. Think of yourself as modeling for her and the camera to show how stunning she can be. Concentrate on helping her realize what a beautiful mare she is, and your confidence will shine through.”

That was some good advice. Trotting out to the appreciative calls from my audience, I was able to not think of myself at all as I displayed what Rarity called a Saddle Arabian-inspired bit, bridle, and saddle set, complete with sheer fabric that trailed down to my pasterns and veil that wrapped around my muzzle and neck. Small bells tinkled as I moved in a slow circle around the stage. I even batted my eyes at Twilight and her camera before playfully completing my circling of the runway and returning to the side room.

To say Rarity was happy would be a bit of an understatement. She nearly knocked me over with the force of her hug. “Mark! Oh, Mark! That was wonnnnnnnderful! An absolute dream come true! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

I laughed. I was surprised to be in such a good mood. Surely some of the fashion queen’s joy was rubbing off on me. “Careful, Rarity. You don’t want to crease the fabric.”

She stepped back and scoffed. Her magic stripped me bare in mere seconds as the next ensemble was already being fitted in place. “Hardly finished, darling. Just seeing you move in it let me know what needs to be improved. Frankly, runway fashions are only made well enough to last through the show, but no longer. The final works made for clients are professionally finished and much sturdier.”

I felt first my front legs being lifted in the air to have fishnet stockings rolled on, then my front hooves touched the ground as the same was done to my rear legs. Suddenly everything felt very wrong and I had a knot in the pit of my stomach. I shivered a bit, feeling my nerves coming back in full force. “I need another pep talk, Rarity.”

She stopped what she was doing and got down to look me directly in the eyes. After a few moments, she nodded and her stare bore into me. “You don’t exist. Only fashion exists. Your purpose is to display the clothing with flair. Repeat this to yourself: ‘I am the zest for life that all mares want to have.’ ”

I moved my lips silently, repeating the phrase over and over. Vaguely, I was aware of Rarity slipping something black with straps over my head and cinching it up in several places along my neck and barrel. I stepped into dull, gray metal shoes with spikes on them. Before I truly realized what I was doing, her magic had gently guided me back onto the runway where I pranced forwards with vigor. By then, my mood was set and I didn’t have to repeat the phrase to myself any longer. This time, there were gasps from everypony present. I turned around fully and reared, kicking my front legs and glaring down haughtily at the mares alongside the runway. I saw Applejack jab Twilight in the side. “Stop gaping, ya idjit! Take the gosh-darn photos!”

“Wha? Right! Of course!”

While Twilight scrambled to comply, I moved my angry gaze to the other mares present before lowering myself for one more parade around the stage.

This time, when I got back to Rarity’s side, I didn’t speak or look at her at all. I just stood there and kept perfectly still while waiting for more instructions.

This time, I saw blue silk with highlights sewn in gold thread. Panels of lace were placed strategically along the outfit and soon I felt it being laced along my back, ending below where my wings attached. Rarity wove thin gold chains through my feathers and instructed me to use them to alternately hide then show my body to the audience. Ribbons from two pairs of sandals wove three-quarters of the way up my legs. Rarity’s magic braided my mane and tail which were held in place with golden clasps. She looked me over and nodded. Moving to my ear, she whispered. “You are the most majestic beauty of all who walk in Equestria. You soak up the adoration of others with your gentle grace.”

I felt myself glide on my hooves through the doorway, slowly moving across the floor. I felt completely detached from my emotions as I used my wings to alternately hide myself and tease the audience. Eventually, I raised both wings proudly and turned in place. Slowly, I completed my circuit of the stage and returned to stand before the white unicorn, who was already busy lifting the components of the last ensemble. Belatedly, I realized that I had not noticed the Elements at all during my last trip to the main room.

My mane and tail were unbraided and all traces of the previous fashion removed. A pink corset tightened across my barrel and gold jewelry with large cabochons and faceted gems were floated onto my form. Pink hose covered my legs and this time bejeweled golden horseshoes went over them. A short, nearly sheer train, a horn ring, and a sun-patterned pendant that hung from the tip of my horn completed the look. Rarity took a moment to comb out my mane and tail before guiding me back to the runway. She whispered in my ear: “You are Joy. You bring happiness to all with your beauty.”

I smiled demurely at the mares in the audience. After regally walking around the stage, I lifted my wings higher and began beating them slowly to hover just off the floor. I felt the wind I generated fluff out my mane and tail. I turned my head this way and that, soaking up the applause from the Elements. Gently, I lowered myself to the ground, bowed, and walked proudly off of the stage.

I don’t really remember the curtain call. Twilight showed me a picture of Rarity and I standing on stage together, but I must have zoned out completely. I do remember coming to when the first adhesive fabric patch was peeled off – it was more than a bit painful. I noticed that I was not wearing anything else by that point. As Rarity moved to my other side and her magic took hold of the other patch, she smiled apologetically. The Element of Generosity floated over a shot of what smelled like Griffonian whiskey. She waited until I had downed it. “The pains of being in the fashion industry, darling.” With that, Rarity pulled it off in one quick movement. Ouch.

My energy level crashed just before the fashion mare led me out to meet up with the other mares. I got hugs from all of them and they all expressed their gratitude for helping Rarity.

“So how was your first modeling experience, Mark?” asked Pinkie.

I thought back then turned to look at Rarity. “Did you cast a spell or hypnotize me right after I finished with the first outfit? I felt like an outside observer after that, just playing the roles instead of really being present.”

Rarity smiled and shook her head. “I think you hypnotized yourself, Mark. You put your mind into another state of consciousness. I’ve seen it before with some of the models I’ve employed in Manehatten.”

Twilight spoke next. “Shining Armor talks about that happening pretty frequently with his fellow soldiers.”

I mulled that over. “Huh. Didn’t know I could do that.” I yawned hugely. “Well, I’m beat. I hope the next thing on our agenda isn’t as intense.”

I got the same wry smile from all the mares. Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Oh, you’re gonna love this…”

I groaned in contentment. A pink earth pony mare preened my wings while her blue twin massaged my rear legs.

Aloe (or was it Lotus?) spoke up. “Ze bath with ze poison joke cure eez ready for you, Meester Mark.”

“Nope. Enjoying this too much, thanks. Plus I’m far too relaxed to even try to move right now.”

I felt myself lift off of the massage table and looked up to see a very smug Twilight carrying me away in her magic and towards a huge tub that already held her friends. I frowned. “Spoilsport.”

She laughed, gently placing me in the center of the tub and then letting me go. I held my breath as my body submerged then pushed my way to the surface. Everyone now appeared to be back to their normal size. For confirmation, I held out a green wing before pulling it back in. I went to sit down next to Fluttershy on the underwater shelf that went around the tub. I missed and dunked myself. Coming back to the surface sputtering, I heard Rainbow Dash laugh at me.

“Yeah, cancel that invite to our League team, Mark. Looks like you’re back to your normal klutzy self again.”

Experimentally, I held out my wings. “Can you dry these off for a second, Twilight?”

After feeling a warm tingling sensation trace from the base of my wings to the tips, I tried to perceive how magic flowed in my wings. The feeling of knowing exactly how much magic was present in each and every feather was gone now, replaced by the impression of having one big, undefined lump of flesh. I sighed as I lowered my wings to my sides and then myself back into the water.

Fluttershy leaned forward and asked, “Do you still feel anything that’s the same from your time as Celestia?”

I considered before I realized something. Somehow, my body still felt the same in one aspect.

I smirked. “Well, I’m still hungry for cake.”

This was met with waves of laughter, followed by a different kind of wave as Rainbow started an impromptu water fight.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

When did I lose control of my own story? I just came up with some ideas for the chapter and Airy Words ran with it! Or should I say galloped away and left me in the dust? :rainbowlaugh:

So, while this is still a collaboration (I think!), most of this chapter is his. I get the next though!

By the way, if you're not into the cake-eating Celestia trope, let me remind you about the Comedy tag up top there.

All the art for this chapter was put together by us in Photoshop with the following credits:

Laboratory Hug – art by cheezedoodle96, background by oxinfree

Loop-de-Hoop – Celestia from art by kp-shadowsquirrel, background is a leaked show asset. Hoops by Airy Words.

Supermodel Celestia – art by Siberwar, background by BitterPlagueRat.

Chapter 13 - Tardy

I woke up the next day feeling well-rested and pain-free. Apparently, between being transformed and professionally massaged, my body had healed up quite well. I just laid there enjoying the lazy contentment of relaxing in a comfortable bed. Steady ought to be along soon to get me ready for breakfast. No rush to get out of bed…

My eyes sprang wide open. Steady was in Canterlot, just as I was supposed to be! How could I have forgotten that? I scrambled out of bed, ignored the fact that I fell on my nose again, and hastily dressed myself. Trixie was going to be pissed! Perhaps I could catch the next train and be in time for the afternoon session? That was before I spotted the clock by my bedside which could have woken me early if I had only thought to set the alarm. It showed 9:42 on the dial. I had slept in late too?! I groaned before grabbing my belongings and hurtled downstairs, tucked and rolled at the bottom and came to a creditable upright stop in front of the counter in the foyer, gave the startled mare at the desk the key to my room, checked out of the hotel, and headed out to the station. I moved at my best trot – I hadn’t mastered galloping in my own body yet – only to hear the train whistle and pull out of the station. I stumbled to a halt, panting and cursing my luck.

From what I remembered of the schedule, there wouldn’t be another train for a couple of hours. Ponyville simply was not big enough to justify a more frequent service at this time of day. I sighed and considered my options, but there weren’t many. First, I needed to let Trixie know that I would be delayed. Then I had to figure out what to tell her when she asked why I was tardy. Explaining that I was transformed into a copy of Celestia and spent an afternoon under the influence of poison joke would satisfy most, but the Great and Skeptical Princess would be less than impressed. “The show must go on!” she once had told me. I wonder what the nobles or the petitioners would have thought of “Celestia” sitting by Trixie’s throne as the unicorn held court? I snorted at the image that conjured up. I briefly considered doing that just for laughs, but then I realized it would be foolhardy to expect the magic of the Everfree Forest to do exactly the same thing twice.

I shook my head and reminded myself to be serious. I turned and headed for the library. Perhaps Spike could send a message to Trixie by dragonfire and ameliorate the situation? Better than doing nothing, I suppose. My stomach gurgled and I frowned. How could I be hungry after all the cake and pastries that I had gorged on yesterday with my bottomless appetite? Did they all just evaporate when I changed back into a pegasus stallion? My belly rumbled again. Maybe Spike would have pity on me and cook something up after sending the letter? I could do him a favor later – perhaps getting those comics in Canterlot that he was so fond of?

I entered the tree library without knocking – it was open at this hour, so I’d look silly doing so. Luckily, I found Spike re-shelving some books. He looked at me with a bit of surprise.

“Hey, dude, I thought you were going back to Canterlot?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m supposed to be there now. Between yesterday’s events and sleeping in late, that’s not going to happen. Can you send a letter to Trixie for me?”

“Sure, but don’t expect a reply. Princess Trixie doesn’t know a dragonfire spell like Princess Celestia and Luna do.”

“Maybe that’s for the best. Trixiefire might incinerate the reply.”

Spike laughed. “Ha! I bet you’re right. Let me grab a quill and paper.”

I dictated a note to briefly explain that I was delayed, and Spike sent it on its way in a puff of magic green fire. He then asked, “Would you like some breakfast, Mark?”

“Yes, I sure would, but why would you be making breakfast this late in the morning?”

The small dragon chuckled and replied, “It’s not late if you know Twilight. She often pulls all-nighters and falls asleep at dawn, if at all. She got to bed relatively early last night, and I was planning on waking her soon. Might as well prepare something for you too. I figure you were in too much of a hurry to stop for food.”

“How did you know that?”

“Your vest is on inside-out and your mane has a serious case of bed-head.”

“Oh. Right. Umm… did I leave anything edible here after yesterday…?”

“I went shopping this morning. Thanks for the bits, by the way. I’ve stocked up for the week, providing you don’t go on another binge.”

“Believe me, while it was an interesting experience, once was enough.”

“I hear ya.” Spike set about cooking a substantial breakfast for three people while I set about fixing my appearance. He served up my meal before heading up to Twilight’s bedroom.

The purple unicorn looked half asleep still when she joined me at the table. She downed a mug of coffee before her brain really kicked in and she cocked an eyebrow at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Canterlot by now?”

“Yes.”

She waited briefly for an explanation and then shrugged. “I wouldn’t be in a hurry to get back to her either.”

“Not my fault that I’m still here. Some ponies took me for a night on the town after the spa. I only woke up half an hour ago.”

“Oh. Right. Heh! But we had fun, didn’t we? That’s what good friends do.”

“Yes, Twilight, and I enjoyed myself, but I take my responsibilities seriously too. I had Spike send a note to Trixie to say that I was tardy.”

For some reason, the unicorn shuddered at that. “Say no more. I’ll make sure that you get back to Canterlot as soon as possible. I’m sorry that I can’t teleport you there because it’s too far.”

Just then, Spike belched and a scroll materialized from the resultant flames. Twilight took it in her magic and unrolled it. After glancing at the words, she passed the scroll over to me.

“It’s from Trixie,” she said flatly.

“I thought you said that Trixie didn’t know the dragonfire spell?” I queried Spike.

Twilight answered for him. “Maybe not, but she could always ask someone from the Guild of Mages. Some of them know the spell.”

“Right. Let’s see what she has to say.” I spread the scroll on the table with my hooves stopping it from curling back up again. I read the flowery script and winced.

“What’s it say?” Spike asked curiously.

“It says, ‘To the Grand Vizier Spark Dwells, the Magnificent and Patient Empress Trixie is sore displeased with your failure to present yourself as expected this morning.’ ” I paused to look at my audience. “When she’s in an ‘Empress’ mood, she’s definitely not happy.” I continued reading. “I have dispatched a Royal Guard pegasus chariot to Ponyville. Be on it. Signed, H. M. Trixie Lulamoon.”

“That’s a bit rude,” Twilight commented.

“I promised to be there this morning, so it’s my fault.”

“Still a bit of a curt way to treat her advisor. Not very princess-like.”

I sighed. “Twilight – I know you don’t like Trixie, but give her a chance. She’s not Celestia, but she’s trying hard, believe me. I wouldn’t stick around if I didn’t think she was worth the effort.”

“Or you didn’t want to get thrown out of your cushy room in the palace.”

Now I was irritated. “A week ago, I was stranded in a strange magical land in a body that was completely foreign to me. Trixie gave me someplace to be and a worthwhile job to do. I owe her a lot, but even if she threw me out, I would still have new friends to help me. Heck – Fluttershy even offered to let me crash on her couch last night. But Trixie is not going to abandon me because I know her better than you. Yeah, she’s a work-in-progress, but she cares, and that’s what matters to me, even if her attitude grates occasionally.”

Twilight stared at me for a long moment before her expression changed to one of chagrin. “If you were here back when Nightmare Moon returned, you might have become the Element of Loyalty instead of Rainbow Dash.”

I grinned. “As long as it doesn’t involve flying, I’m your stallion!”

We all laughed at that and finished our meals. Twilight then left to work on whatever her current project was, Spike went back to his book re-shelving, and I went outside to await the arrival of the chariot.

I settled down on the grass in the shade of the library tree. I had little idea how long it would take for the chariot to arrive, but I figured it would be at least half an hour. With nothing to do until then, I just relaxed and watched the world go by. I snorted softly. The world. A totally different one of ponies, griffons, dragons, and magic. Just over a week ago, I didn’t even believe in unicorns and pegasi and now I was one of them. A defective one, perhaps, but still…

I sighed. Did I belong here? The mares had made me feel welcome, especially Pinkie, but the truth was that I had just blundered into this situation and perhaps even made things worse by breaking the mirror portals. And although Twilight was endlessly fascinated by what she learned from me about Earth, I get the feeling that she’d happily trade me to get Celestia back, not to mention Luna. Aside from obscure knowledge from another dimension, what did I really have to offer to these people? My greatest skills were useless in a land where magic supplanted physics in almost every way. And yet, no one wanted to see me leave. What did they see in me? I was just going with the flow and trying to be helpful along the way. Mark Wells was not a moocher.

To get my thoughts from getting too morbid, I tried identifying the ponies who passed by. I quickly came to realize that I knew a surprisingly large number of them, and I put that down to the Pinkie party where I swear I must have been introduced to the whole town at one stage. Despite the blur of faces, I still remembered the names of so many of them. Aside from Twilight and her friends, there were Vinyl Scratch and Octavia – an oddly well-matched pair of musical mares; the postmare Muffins whom everyone nicknamed Derpy which she seemed to accept graciously; her companion Doctor Whooves, a most confounding stallion with a highly coincidental cutie mark; Mayor Mare – who could forget that name? – the spa twins, Aloe and Lotus; Applejack’s brother, Big Macintosh; Bon Bon and Lyra; Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily; the unforgettable Cutie Mark Crusaders; Nurse Redheart and Doctor Horse; Cloud Kicker and various other weather team members; Sea Swirl…

My mind screeched to a halt as I suddenly realized something: I recalled only a few stallions but a great many mares. I looked about me and didn’t even see one stallion at the moment. At the palace, the majority of the staff were female although I was fairly certain most of the Royal Guards were male. It was hard to be sure because their anonymizing magic armor made all the regular Guards look alike, but some had suspiciously feminine voices. Was I imagining things or did these ponies have a serious gender imbalance? So many mares and so few stallions made for a different social dynamic than I was used to. Thinking back on some of the interactions I’d had recently, I began to see some of them in a different light. My bachelor instincts started to kick in and I shuddered.

I don’t know exactly how long I had been daydreaming but my thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

“There he is!”

I looked up and saw Steady Flight coming in for a landing alongside two Royal Guard pegasi hauling a sky chariot. Apparently, my ride had arrived. I stood up and said, “Hi, Steady.”

“Hi yourself, Mark. What happened? Why are you still here and pissing off Princess Trixie?”

“Long story which I can tell you on the way back.” I approached the Guards and asked, “Do you need to rest for a bit before we go back to Canterlot?”

“No, sir,” one replied in a definitely masculine voice. “We are ready to return immediately.”

It made sense that the pegasi pulling a sky chariot for long distances would be strong males, but the other one didn’t speak, so I wasn’t sure of that fact. Steady had already piled my luggage onto the chariot, and I went to climb aboard. I had seen these used by others but I had not anticipated using one myself. I wasn’t looking forward to it. A week ago though, you could not have dragged me on one with a team of ponies, so I was definitely improving.

“Just a minute, Mark. I’ve got a message for you to deliver to Twilight Sparkle.”

“Huh? Why me?”

“Because you’re the Princess’ right hoof and scapegoat, of course,” the stallion replied, hoofing over a scroll.

“Right. Okay, this should take just a few minutes. She’s still in the library.”

I headed inside and found the mare surrounded by books. Literally. I decided not to ask why and passed her the scroll. “Message from the G&P,” I said simply.

Twilight lifted one eyebrow, shrugged, and unrolled the scroll with her magic. I saw her eyes flick back and forth as she read its contents, and then widen. She then rolled up the scroll once more.

“I have no idea about the contents, so is there an answer that I need to take back?” I asked.

Twilight looked thoughtful before replying, “Trixie has commanded me and my friends to go to the Crystal Empire. Princess Cadance has requested our help in impressing the head of the Equestrian Games Selection Committee. She’s hoping that holding the Games there will help re-establish the city’s fortunes and bring in tourists.”

“Sounds something like Earth’s Olympic Games. There was always quite a lot of competition to be the city to hold them every four years.”

“Then you’ll understand the importance. Tell Trixie that I’ll talk to the others first, but we should be able to go there on the scheduled date.”

I nodded. “Well, that’s my duty done, and now I have to get back to Canterlot as fast as possible. It’s been great visiting, and I hope that we’ll see each other again soon. No colanders though!”

Twilight giggled. “No promises!”

I smiled and waved to Spike as I left. I boarded the chariot and realized that there weren’t any safety harnesses. “How is this supposed to be safe?” I asked Steady.

He merely tapped a rune inscribed on the railing and I felt a gently yielding field surround me. “That’s a restraint spell – you can’t accidentally fall out.”

“That’s reassuring. Aren’t you getting in too?”

“I flew here on my own power and I’ll fly back too. I used to be a long-distance courier, remember?”

“Oh. Right. We’d better get going then. Trixie is going to be mad enough with me as it is, so let’s not dawdle.”

The chariot team took that as their cue to start, and they galloped a few yards before taking off. Damned if it wasn’t like one of the scariest roller coaster rides I’d ever been on. People back home would pay good money for a thrill like this!

Steady drew alongside the chariot and said, “Okay, spill it – how did you get yourself in trouble this time?”

The journey to Canterlot almost wasn’t long enough to tell it all – with some edits, of course.

We arrived during the lunch break and Empress Trixie gave me a flat look from her place at the dining room table. Raven Inkwell stood next to her, her magic rearranging the sheets on her ever-present clipboard. I bowed my head and neck, keeping them low until I heard her intone in her ‘bored’ voice, “Approach, Meadowlark Smells.”

I did so until I stood by her side. She gave me a quizzical look but I chose to say nothing. Eventually, she broke the silence.

“You delivered my note to Miss Sparkle?”

I nodded with a little smirk on my lips.

“She and her friends will go to the Crystal Empire?”

I nodded again. No words required, good.

“You canvased the mood of the townsfolk? And they approve of the rule of Trixie?”

I nodded a third time, though my smirk grew wider.

She narrowed her eyes, obviously displeased with me. That’s fine. I’d just wait her out and she’d speak again. Instead, she held out a hoof. Drat.

I looked back to my saddlebags and took out two items. I handed her my plaque. Trixie’s ears perked forward and Raven whistled.

When Trixie passed it back, I hoofed her a framed photo taken at the Day Spa. It showed the Mane Six gathered around “Celestia”, everyone smiling broadly.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “And why exactly are you showing me this old photo?”

Raven gasped and pointed her quill at the cutie mark on “Celestia’s” flank. Trixie’s attention was drawn back to the photo and now both eyebrows rose. Her ears actually waggled back and forth for a few seconds. What did that body language mean?

The mares then looked up at me at the same time, both wearing the same amused smile.

“Ponyville?” asked Trixie.

“Ponyville,” I replied.

She smiled broadly. “Welcome to the club.” She handed the photo back to me as she stood up. “I’ll expect a full account of your activities over dinner. But for now, we have Day Court to run.”

“Yes, Your Patient and Forgiving Majesty.”

She lifted her nose as she strode past. “Oh, you aren’t out of hot water yet, Mismark Sells. You have just delayed the hour of your judgement.”

Crap. Looks like I’d have to turn up the entertainment and humor factor this evening. I hoped it wouldn’t come back to haunt me with endless teasing later... who was I kidding? Of course it would.

As Trixie, Raven, and I walked to the throne room, I remembered one detail of the trip that was better brought up now than found out later.

When we were in a section of hallway with no pony to overhear us, I said. “So…Great and Powerful Trixie?”

That earned me a suspicious glance over her shoulder.

“There will be some bills arriving for various damages I caused when I was in Ponyville: specifically to Sugarcube Corner and Sweet Apple Acres.”

She turned away with a sly grin. “As much as it pleases Trixie that you faithfully brought back reports of the townsponies’ positive opinion of Trixie, the Royal Court cannot simply absorb such damages. Your pay will be—”

I thought so. I turned to Raven and cut off the Smug and Powerful Trixie. “So the notes you take are made part of the permanent record of the court and distributed to the local newspapers, right? I want to read into the public record the instructive story of a mare who put on a show at the orphanage of a sleepy little village called Hackamore—”

As Raven’s ears swiveled forwards and her eyes began to sparkle, I was rudely interrupted. “On second thought, the Great and Forgiving Trixie will overlook your carelessness this once.” She stopped and looked at me with a cold stare. “We expect this never to be brought up again.”

I bowed deeply. “As the Generous and Many-Storied Trixie commands.”

She hesitated, then continued down the hallway.

Raven’s hoof kept me from following. She broke into a smile once Trixie had rounded a corner. “Spill it.”

I grinned. “According to the Equestrian Township Grapevine, Trixie’s reputation was such that she was not allowed to perform her show until she completed some community service. During her performance next to the town orphanage, the fireworks at the end of the show went awry and burned the place down.”

Raven put a hoof over her mouth. “Oh no!” The corners of her eyes were pulled upwards though—a dead giveaway that she was smiling.

“Oh yes. Trixie’s wagon was impounded until she finished helping rebuild the orphanage. In those three weeks, she camped outside with the foals, who thought this was the greatest thing ever.”

“Really?”

I grinned. “You know foals. Anything different from the boring normal is awesome, and sleeping outside was just the ticket. Also, Trixie has a special gift with little ones and entertained them every night … maybe because she felt guilty for destroying their house, maybe because she loved the appreciative audience.”

Raven dropped her hoof. “So how did that embarrassing chapter of the Great and Powerful Trixie’s life end?”

I chuckled. “Remember how I said the foals loved having her around? On the last night before construction of the orphanage was completed, they tried to burn it down again.”

Raven laughed so hard she started to cry. Eventually she settled down enough to say, “Let me guess. The townsfolk threw her and her wagon out of town because she was such a bad influence?”

I nodded and started trotting to the throne room. “Come on. Let’s not keep Her Royal Highness waiting.”

Raven caught up. “But now you’ve promised not to use that bit of blackmail material again.”

I thought back to the pages of notes I took during Pinkie’s party. “Oh, don’t worry. There’s plenty more where that came from.”

The afternoon court session went pretty smoothly and it kept my mind occupied. Trixie had royal-commanded me to attend dinner with her that evening, so I knew that I was going to be put through the wringer then. There was one other thing that was on my mind though since that morning, and I finally got the chance to ask Steady as we headed up to my room to freshen up and change before dinner.

“Is it my imagination, or do mares greatly outnumber stallions in Equestria?”

His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You don’t remember that? Sheesh! Of course they do. Depending on where you live, there are three or four mares to every stallion.”

“And how do the mares deal with that?”

“Remember what you said about breeding potential on the day we first met?”

“Y-e-s?” I replied, not liking where this was going.

“The mares like to know what they’re competing for in advance.”

I recalled Rarity’s gifts, Fluttershy’s cuddles, Twilight’s fascination, and even Rainbow’s tomboy challenges in a new light. I gulped. Suddenly I longed for the company of the one mare who preferred to watch me crash into things. That seemed to be infinitely less frightening right now.

I didn’t give Trixie a chance to get on her high horse (Okay, I meant that pun!) at dinner. I started by telling her how I had almost died achieving that altitude record. Then, while she was still on the back hoof, I explained how Rainbow Dash had saved me, Zecora had healed me, and how I promptly screwed up again by eating poison joke. I played up the pranks and other craziness that I did as “Celestia”, managing to keep her laughing so much that she forgot all about being mad at me. Of course, I did not breathe a word about Rarity’s fashion parade. That was a private secret between the six mares and me (and perhaps an inquisitive dragon) that I would take to the grave and Trixie would never learn. That reminded me – I had better find a really good hiding spot for those 8 by 10 glossies that Twilight printed for me.

Oh, come on! You don’t think I’d want to relive my most glorious moments? For a brief time, I was a supermodel!

“Look, Mark – I know that the poison joke made a huge difference, but surely you must remember some of what it felt like to fly properly? Just recall that feeling and let it work for you!” Steady exhorted me. Just because Trixie had let me off the hook for my tardiness didn’t mean that she would allow me to shirk my flying lessons.

I just stood there on the balcony with my wings outstretched, trying to do exactly that, but it wasn’t working. “Steady – thanks to Twilight, I won’t be breaking altitude records again, but other than that, I feel no different.”

My friend sighed. “Okay, then we’re back to trying to re-learn the hard way. Maybe without the power surges, you may be able to control yourself better. You did pretty well with the unpowered gliding, after all.”

“You still haven’t shown me how to steer,” I reminded him.

“Oh, right. I’ll never be a proper flight instructor at this rate.”

“Yeah, you make a better valet,” I teased.

He poked his tongue out at me and I smirked back.

“Okay, smartarse, pay attention.” Steady showed me the methods for achieving basic turns and had me rehearse them a few times before he was satisfied. “Okay, let’s see if you can do it while actually flying. Take your position and carefully summon your flight magic.”

I recalled everything that Steady, Rainbow Dash, and even Fluttershy had shown me, and then firmed my will. ‘I can do this!’ I told myself sternly, and then took off over the Royal Gardens.

Half a minute later after madly careening all over the lawns and flower beds, frantically twisting and turning, overcompensating and spinning out of control, I crashed through a copse of trees and felt the vegetation bring me to an abrupt springy halt. My nose suffered not at all and I would have counted that as a victory if I wasn’t being strangled. Vines were looped about my body and my neck in particular, and I wheezed as I tried to call for aid.

“How?! How did you manage to do that?!” Steady Flight exclaimed as he descended through the canopy. “That kind of vine doesn’t even grow in this climate!”

“Less botany, more help,” I choked out.

“And what’s with those crazy turns? Didn’t I tell you to be moderate when angling your wings?” Steady asked as he hovered next to me.

“Still asphyxiating here.”

“I mean, come on! Surely you learned something while you were an alicorn. Don’t glare at me like that!”

“Can’t breathe, idiot!”

Maybe he finally heard me, or perhaps my face was turning blue, but Steady finally realized that I was choking to death while he babbled about his frustrations with me. He unraveled the vine around my neck before helping me get untangled. “How you managed not to kill yourself before your illness, I’ll never know. You have to be the greatest klutz I have ever met.”

I could have let that pass because I was well aware of my clumsiness that had only been highlighted by my perfect coordination as Celestia, but Steady had left one vine looped around my hind leg while freeing my barrel, and as I slipped free, that last vine upended me before releasing me to plummet to the ground… nose first.

I groaned, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

“Oops! Sorry about that. What was that you said?”

“I said you’re buying again.”

The stallion flinched. “I’m gonna need a raise at this rate.”

That’s what I was afraid of. Flying was for the birds!

The rest of the week was remarkable for being unremarkable. Considering all the weirdness that had happened to me in the first eight days of my arrival in colorful pony land, I considered this a great blessing. Steady Flight even made sure that my lessons were held somewhere without anything harder than a cloud to crash into. I may have made a little progress at last. Practice makes… well… not perfect, but at least it wasn’t painful either.

My first weekend off was basically spent enjoying myself in the city. I even got to see a stage play. I must admit that Roameo and Jeweliette done by ponies is quite fascinating. Just kidding – Steady and I went to some bawdy comedy. I made a return trip to Ponyville the following weekend on the pretext of passing on Trixie’s congratulations for the success of their mission to the Crystal Empire and securing Ms. Harshwhinny’s stamp of approval for the venue of the Equestria Games. Actually, I just wanted to hang out with my friends. Not sure if bringing Steady along with me was a good idea though. On the one hand… or hoof… he deflected attention from me as a potential mate for most of the mares, but on the other, that just left Twilight alone and still wanting to do more tests on me. Oh well, I still got cake. Seems I have quite a craving for it nowadays.

Three uninterrupted weeks of business as usual at the court gave me time to learn more about Equestria and the running of a country, and I had gotten into a comfortable routine. So when Twilight arrived unannounced one afternoon during Day Court, I knew immediately that something serious was going down. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been to Canterlot a few times over the past few weeks; she regularly researched books in the Royal library and made more tests in the portal room. The mare had always avoided confrontations with Trixie though, and definitely stayed out of the throne room. Not today though.

Twilight strode in near the end of the afternoon session, ignoring the sergeant-at-arms who tried to politely do his duty. Trixie waved him off though, and let her rival approach the dais. I could sense Trixie tense up, the barest hint of what I had come to recognize as nervousness that the showmare normally concealed with skill. The way that Twilight kept an unyielding stare at the Princess as she approached only served to increase the tension. I wondered what Twilight was up to as I knew that the unicorn had no intention of rocking the political boat, preferring instead to concentrate her efforts on getting the real princesses back. Yet here she was, obviously on a mission, and wearing a cape of all things. I’d never known her to wear anything before.

Trixie took the initiative and spoke first. “Greetings, my loyal subject. How can the Great and Powerful Trixie help you today?”

Twilight said, “You can get off that throne for starters.” Her horn lit and her cape floated away. From the concealment of the cloak, she lifted wings that matched her purple coat to the gasps of all attending, Empress Trixie and myself included. I noticed, however, that Twilight’s expression was very focused and nowhere near friendly.

Perhaps being the subject of her angry countenance helped Trixie gain her wits back faster than anypony else in the room. She smiled, although I could tell she was anxious. “This is wonderful news, Twilight! Now Equestria can once again have diarchs as—”

“No,” said the purple alicorn flatly.

“No?” repeated Trixie, her brow furrowing.

“No. I will take over as the one and true Princess of Equestria.”

Hooboy!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

You knew it was coming, but now you have to wait to see how it gets resolved! Mwa-ha-ha-haaaa!

Written mostly by me this time, although the reveal was penned a while back by Airy Words. So much has happened in between.

Art by Foxenawolf. If you would like to help me afford more, consider buying me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 14 - Challenge

I looked over nervously at Trixie. I could hear my heart beating wildly. I was about to advise her to just step down, but what I saw stopped me before I got out a sound.

Trixie raised her head slightly. Her anxiety was gone and she looked like a mother gazing at a disappointing child. She tapped her throne with one forehoof, her frown deepening. “Really?”

“Yes. The throne of Equestria was never meant for—”

“And how do you plan to take the Throne of Equestria, Miss Sparkle?”

Twilight paused for a moment, then ignored Trixie’s question. “Celestia meant for me to rule in her place while she was away, but I was called away to the Crystal Empire before—”

Trixie cut in again. “An interesting personal opinion, Miss Sparkle, but not one that holds any weight in law. I rule this country as recognized by the Guild of Mages, the Parliament of Nobles, and most importantly, by the grace of My Little Ponies. You have the support of none of these for your claim.”

I was shocked. I knew Trixie had stage presence, but what I was seeing now was something I had never seen before. She was dominating the conversation with the far more powerful mare.

Twilight lowered her head slightly, apparently to aim her horn at Trixie. “Princess Cadance and Shining Armor—”

“Are now leaders of a foreign nation allied with Equestria. The treaties they signed are with this country, not me, not you. Tell me, Miss Sparkle…” Trixie kept her eyes on the purple alicorn as she descended the dais. “…tell me exactly what the difference is between what you are trying to do now and what Queen Chrysalis attempted mere months ago? Are you not trying to usurp the leadership of Equestria through might alone?” Trixie came right up to Twilight’s nose. “Are you only doing this now because you have ascended to become what you now believe to be an alicorn more powerful than the Great and Beloved Trixie?”

Twilight was shaking. I could see the tendons on her neck clenching her jaw closed. Her eyes began to glow white. “You’re nothing! You’re not even—”

For the first time, Trixie raised her voice. “Would you dare to threaten to fight me here and now? To destroy the throne room and all the stained glass celebrating the missing rulers Celestia and Luna? To put in danger the lives of ALL THE LITTLE PONIES WHOM I LIVE TO SERVE?!”

Twilight’s eyes returned to their normal purple hue but her face remained twisted in anger. “I will not back down. As prescribed by the ancient Law of Alicorns, I challenge you for the right to rule Equestria.”

Trixie stared into Twilight’s eyes with a look I can only describe as pity. After a few moments, she turned around and marched past me towards the door that led to her chambers. “Very well, Miss Sparkle. I accept your challenge.”

The Element of Magic breathed out and relaxed slightly. She started to follow.

Without looking backward, Trixie called out, “Not now.”

Twilight Sparkle stopped mid-step. “But–”

Trixie interrupted. “I will inform you of an appropriate place and time. Remember that you are an immortal alicorn now, Miss Sparkle.” She opened the door with her magic. “Do try to learn some patience.” With that, Trixie finished walking through and closed it.

After a few moments, Twilight Sparkle looked at me. I don’t think my expression made her feel any better. With a flash and the pop of inrushing air, she teleported away. All eyes soon came to focus on me. I tried to keep any tremor out of my voice but failed utterly. “D-d-day Court is now adjourned!” I then scrambled to follow Trixie.

After closing the door behind me, I found her standing stock-still just a little way down the hallway. I came up to her side and looked at her face. She stood impassively gazing into the distance. I thought I could see pride radiating from her eyes.

“Trixie, that was incredible! I’ve never seen you act so… well… regal!”

She said nothing, just continuing to stare at some unknown point far away or maybe in the future.

“I mean it! I can see now why Celestia took you as her personal student. You were magnificent!”

Not a head nod, not a bigger smile, no indication whatsoever that she was accepting my praise… and given what I knew about this mare, it was getting downright creepy.

“Trixie? Hello? Earth… uh… Equestria to Trixie? Say something please!” I decided to wait her out.

After a full minute, she moved her lips without changing her expression in the slightest. “Are we alone?”

I nodded. “Yes. Yes, we are.”

She sighed. After some time, she said, “Trixie is so totally bucked.”

With that, she ran down the hallway screaming.

I didn’t try to chase after Trixie right then because I felt she needed a little time to herself, and besides, I needed to think about the situation. I was upset with how these circumstances came about too, and I needed to know more before I could deal with it. How did Twilight become an alicorn? Why was she so angry with Trixie? I thought that we had come to an understanding that the G&P was doing a reasonable job along with Raven and myself, and that Twilight would not really be suited for the job anyway. The former unicorn was a scholar at heart, not a princess.

I headed to my room. I needed to get out of my fancy clothes and freshen up. I doubted that I would get much of a chance to do so later. Steady Flight was waiting for me there having wisely not followed me when I chased after Trixie. I took off my jacket and passed it to him to hang up, but I put my vest aside before giving him my shirt and tie which he took wordlessly. Finally I asked, “What do you think of this situation?”

“You sure you want my opinion, Mark?”

I nodded. “Yeah – out with it.”

“The general population is going to be split on this. Princess Trixie is popular and doing a decent job, but they are also conditioned to believe alicorns are the true rulers of Equestria. Trixie had it right when she offered Twilight a diarchy – that could have satisfied everypony. Now, I don’t think Equestria is going to be better off for this challenge whoever wins.”

I grimaced. That pretty much aligned with my thoughts too. “That’s not an acceptable outcome.”

“I hate to say it, Mark, but I believe this has just become your problem. You’re the one who advises Trixie and moderates her impulses. You need to sort this out with Twilight Sparkle.”

“I agree, but I have a suspicion that my hooves are tied. This Alicorn Challenge that Twilight made sounds rather binding, so I don’t know if negotiating will solve anything.”

“Maybe, maybe not. I do know that whoever wins, we all will have to deal with the aftermath.”

I sighed and headed for the bathroom. I needed to run a washcloth over my face and brush my mane. I was going to have to look the part of someone who was calm and in control even while I was actually in turmoil too. Whatever I felt though had to be better than what Trixie was going through right now. When I was done, I went back and re-donned my vest. It looked good by itself and I felt confident and more in command. Time to stop delaying the inevitable. I instructed Steady to tell the kitchen to prepare Trixie’s favorite comfort foods and then headed out of my room. I made a beeline for Trixie’s suite and stopped just outside the doors.

“Is Princess Trixie within?” I asked the Royal Guards flanking the doors.

“Yes, sir,” one replied. “The Princess ordered that she was not to be disturbed.”

“I see. Her Highness needs me – are you going to stop me?” I gave the Guard who spoke my hardest stare.

The Guard met my gaze, but after a long moment, he relented and stepped aside. “I believe the Princess needs her stallion.”

I was her stallion? How did they get that impression? Nevertheless, I took advantage of that perception and entered the suite. As expected, I found Trixie on her bed, sobbing into her pillow. I quietly walked up beside the bed and sat down beside it. I reached over with my foreleg and gently hugged her.

Trixie flinched and turned her head to look at me with surprise, her cheek fur sodden from tears. “D-dowser? What… what are you doing here?”

No mangling of my name? This really was serious. “You needed me, so I’m here.”

Her lip quivered and then she buried her face in my neck and sobbed. I just held Trixie and let her cry herself out as I held her. Eventually, she sniffled and drew back.

“What am I going to do? I can’t beat an alicorn!” the mare wailed.

“Why not? I don’t know how Twilight became one, but she can’t know how to be one yet, while you have had years to practice your arts. Aren’t you the Amazing and Astounding Trixie who dazzles ponies with her stage magic in a world where nearly everything is magic? You just need to focus on what you do best.”

“Twilight Sparkle is one of the smartest ponies in Equestria. Trixie was thoroughly humiliated the two times that she clashed with her.”

“Then you have learned what not to do. And you have me, Raven, and Steady to help you prepare.”

Trixie propped herself up higher in the bed and wiped her eyes for a few moments. “Trixie will not go down without a fight, but don’t you think that Twilight has a right to rule?”

“You have earned that right – Twilight has yet to prove herself.”

“Twilight is an alicorn!”

“Are you all brainwashed into thinking that only alicorns can rule Equestria? You’ve already demonstrated that’s not true. Show her that.”

Trixie was quiet and thoughtful for a minute before her expression firmed. Her confident smile started to return. “Yes! Trixie will show her rival that she has earned the right her place on Equestria’s throne, and if Sparkle won’t accept that, then she needs to be put in her place!”

“Let’s not plan on antagonizing the new alicorn and concentrate on winning the challenge first, shall we?”

Trixie smirked a little. “Do you intend to do this planning in Trixie’s bedroom, Landmark Sells?”

“Umm… perhaps it would be better if we reconvene down in the dining room? I’ve ordered your favorites.” I got up and hastened towards the exit.

“That’s why I appreciate you, Mudlark Smells – you always treat Trixie like a princess!” she called out as I retreated.

I think the door guards heard that last bit before I closed the door to the suite. I'm pretty sure I saw smirks there for a moment before their neutral expressions returned.

“As you were!” I ordered and left before my blush got any worse.

Soon, Trixie joined us in the dining room. Raven appeared to be asleep with her head cradled by her hooves on the table. Steady arrived with a tray containing four mugs of jet-black coffee to tide us over while the royal chefs prepared a late meal.

Raven’s nose started to twitch, then it seemed to float on its own accord until she was sipping at the coffee daintily. After a few breaths to cool it down, she knocked back the entire cup and plonked it back on the table. After gaining another mug and a single sip later, the unicorn mare blearily opened her eyes. “Present,” she mumbled.

I started. “OK, Trixie. Can you tell us what was happening to you when Twilight made her challenge?”

Trixie’s eyes darted around a bit, then settled on Steady. “Whatever do you mean, Embark Propels?”

“You hired me to advise you. Now I’m doing exactly that. I’m advising you to tell us what happened out there. We can’t move forward until we know what we’re dealing with.”

The blue unicorn rubbed her hoof against her head, grimacing. With a defeated look, she sighed. “Trixie is not really sure. For whatever reason, despite the fact that the purple alicorn was powerful enough to obliterate Trixie with her dandruff…”

Steady interrupted. “Twilight Sparkle has dandruff?”

I tried to kick him to get him to shut up, but my coordination failed me and I hit Trixie instead.

She glared at me then continued. “…Trixie had absolutely zero fear of her and no intention of backing down. And it was like… no, this is going to sound stupid.”

Steady spoke up. “Nothing sounds stupid two hours after midnight.”

Trixie continued. “Trixie wasn’t angry about the idea of Twilight as the ruler of Equestria. Trixie means… Twilight was probably groomed for the job by Big White Flanks, and she’s a heck of a powerful mare, now with in-field command experience leading the other Elements of Harmony. It was just the way she demanded it. Sitting on the throne like Trixie was, looking out over the court, her demand just… triggered something inside me.”

She squinted, trying to find the right words. “It was like all of Trixie’s acting experience combined with the power of personality Trixie has seen Celestia use a few times. Trixie felt like she was truly defending all of Equestria.”

I thought back to my Intro to All Things Equestrian course. “Do you think it was the magic of Harmony speaking through you?”

She shook her head. “No. Ponies feel that whenever we burst into song. Totally different.”

Raven snuck another coffee away from under Steady Flight’s nose. A glance showed me both her earlier mugs were now dry. “Well, no use crying over spilled coffee. The first order of business is to study this part of Alicorn Law for loopholes or weaknesses.”

A scroll appeared in front of her and dropped into her coffee cup with a splash. She frowned. “Horseapples.”

Her magic lifted the scroll and she watched the liquid drain from the paper. She looked at Steady. “I’m going to need that last coffee. Mark Wells can have this one.”

Trixie waved a hoof. “Well? Who is it from?”

Raven unrolled the scroll and read the contents quickly. “Hmmm. That’s convenient.” She looked over the top of the letter. “It’s from Lord Fancy Pants. He’s already had his legal team go through every bit of Alicorn Law and find the pertinent bits relating to the challenge.” Her eyes returned to the paper. “One – The ruler and challenger have the option of following through with the challenge or accepting permanent banishment from Equestria.”

Trixie winced.

“Two – As the ruler, you get to choose the date, time, location, and the three challenges – pegasus, earth pony, then unicorn. Both the ruler and challenger must agree on the Arbitrator, although the ruler proposes the candidates until one is accepted.”

I spoke up. “Who was that? What’s an Arbitrator’s job?”

“The Arbitrator sets the rules and judges which of the two contestants is the winner. Their decision is absolute.”

Steady asked. “What else?”

Raven rolled up the scroll again. “Other than a ban on combat of any form, even by proxy, that’s it. Alicorn Law is written in Old Equish and is full of conditionals and apologies and compliments and all sorts of rubbish that was the style of the time. It takes pages to get a single point across. ‘Foresooth, oh ye grande soule, and partaken unto this most humbelle scribbe… blah, blah, blah.’ Kind of stupid when paper and ink were so expensive back then, but there you have it. Oh, and Fancy Pants advised not waiting too long to set a date to prevent… um… civil unrest.”

The gears in my mind started to turn. “That’s a pretty short and simple set of rules.”

Something about my tone of voice must have caught Trixie’s attention because first one ear, then one eye pointed at me. “What are you considering, Unmark Pastels?”

I chose to ignore her question for the moment. “OK, first things first. I assume we are all planning to fight rather than literally slinking across the border with our tails between our collective legs, aren’t we?”

Raven and Steady nodded immediately. Trixie looked back and forth. “You are all crazy. If we lose, you are all going to—”

I interrupted. “We don’t plan to lose. And we are with you all the way.” I put my hoof in the middle of the table.

Steady smiled. “I’m riding this crazy train all the way to its destination.” He put a hoof on top of mine.

Raven put her hoof onto Steady’s while smiling at Trixie. The coffee mug had no say in the matter and went along for the ride. “Loyalty to my sovereign is who I am and what I will always do.”

Trixie gaped at us, then smiled. Daintily, she wiped away tears then put her hoof on top of the pile. “Thank you. Thank you all. Trixie is… I am honored to have friends such as all of you.”

I placed my other hoof on top of hers. “It’s because we love you, Trixie.” She blinked and cutely blushed a bit. I then grabbed her hoof with the sole of mine and smiled evilly. “Besides, it will be your tail hairs going up in flames at the contest, not ours.”

Her smile disappeared and she tried to pull away unsuccessfully. Her horn lit and a large spark arced over my head and hit my flank. “Yeowch!”

Trixie’s hoof escaped when I was distracted. I frowned at her. “Strategy point number one: Trixie is a really good shot.”

She sniffed and tried to look disdainful, but couldn’t help but smile back.

I sighed. “The first meeting of ‘Kick Twilight’s Supple Flanks’ is now in order.” That got me an identical glare from both mares. I laughed. “OK! OK! Message received. So – first we list our opponent’s strengths.”

Raven had her omnipresent clipboard and quill out and ready. Steady started. “Probably the most knowledgeable and powerful spell-caster in Equestria since Star Swirl the Bearded, and even that is up for debate. And that was before she ascended.” He looked at Trixie. “Your pardon.”

Trixie waved away the apology. “Her friends were remarkable even before they became Element Bearers. Together, they are unstoppable.”

Raven spoke next. “She is very well regarded by the populace, although her recent actions have no doubt eroded that support somewhat.”

I nodded. “OK, that’s a good start. Now, what are her weaknesses?” Silence and searching looks surrounded the table. “Come on now. No pony is perfect. What are the areas where she isn’t awesome?”

Steady said, “Well, she just became an alicorn, right? So her pegasus and earth pony magic might be strong, and she may have read the theory, but she has no practice.”

I tapped my hoof on my chin. “That would be another reason to have the challenge take place sooner rather than later.”

Trixie spoke next. “She is mentally unstable.” Everyone looked at her in surprise. “I am not just talking about what happened in Day Court. Celestia sent her to Ponyville to learn the value of friendship and shared with me some of Twilight’s letters. She is prone to rationalization and fits of manic behavior. Twilight is well served when she allows the moderating influence of her pet Spike and the other Element Bearers.” Trixie seemed to understand my incredulous stare. “Yes, even Pinkie Pie has a stabilizing effect on her.”

Raven thought for several seconds. “She has a tendency to approach any problem initially from the most obvious path. Twilight does not always prepare contingency plans ahead of time. Instead, she relies on her intellect to steer her when the unexpected occurs. Also, she can become very frustrated when this happens and stops thinking clearly.”

I nodded. “Good. Now let’s get straight to the strengths of each of us at this table, not just Trixie. Anypony can chime in.”

Steady said, “Well, I had the chance to see Empress Trixie perform in her previous career. She has the ability to get an audience onto her side and her stage magic can get ponies to do things they wouldn’t normally do. At the performance I went to, she convinced a heckler to tar and feather himself.”

Trixie chuckled. “Good times. But how does that apply to the current situation?”

I spoke up. “It’s a matter of anticipating what your opponent will do and allowing them to act in a way that they think is in their self-interest, but instead draws them into your trap.”

After some time to consider this, Raven spoke up. “Mark, you frequently see situations from a perspective different from any other pony. Have… any memories come back from your life before your amnesia that would provide an approach to this problem that no pony has seen before?”

Steady looked at her with a furrowed brow, but I understood what she meant. So were there any sleights of hand or technology that would appear to be magic to every Equestrian? I could feel an idea buzzing in the back of my head, but couldn’t put my hoof on it. I tapped the table for a bit. “I’ll give that some thought. Now what about the individual challenges?”

Raven winced. “I don’t think you’re going to like hearing this…”

All of us nodded for her to continue.

“If we choose three challenges and Trixie wins two out of three or even three out of three, support among about half of the nobles will be severely damaged, perhaps irreparably. Especially if the challenges we select play directly to Trixie’s strengths: dancing, giving speeches, Cajun cooking, card tricks, etc.”

Trixie spoke up. “What do you suggest? We can’t let Twilight choose them. We might win some respect for the gesture, but we would have literally no chance to win.”

After taking a deep breath, the unicorn continued. “We let the Arbitrator select the challenges and they are only revealed during the contest.”

“What!” protested Steady. “That means we have no way to prepare!”

I said, “That also means Twilight will be at the same disadvantage.”

Steady continued, “Well, we could imitate general skills in those areas, like unicorn levitation magic to emulate flying.”

Raven said, “Or time magic to stimulate plant growth.”

I picked up the conversation. “OK, so that’s half of it. Who should we select as Arbitrator that we know Twilight would accept?”

All three ponies in front of me said “Lord Fancy Pants” simultaneously, looked at each other, then back at me.

“No argument. Can’t think of a more honorable pony who also has the best interests of Equestria at heart.” There were some nods and smiles around the table.

An unbidden thought came to me. I evaluated it and decided to share. “This conversation has brought up one memory from my earlier life.” I had everyone’s attention. “I heard that a martial arts champion once said that in the arena, he has two opponents: the pers… uh… pony sparring with him and the umpire.” I looked at Raven. “Does Alicorn Law state exactly what constitutes a victory in each of the areas of pony magic?”

She shook her head. “Just that the criteria are at the discretion of the Arbitrator, which I suppose is why he has to be agreed upon by both parties.”

I said, “So we may not be able to guess the exact nature of the challenges, but we should be able to make some good guesses as to what he’s looking for in a ruler.” Everyone looked deep in thought. “Come back with ideas.”

Steady spoke up. “So now the last question. How long do we need to prepare?”

Any hints of smiles stopped. Raven spoke first. “I… uh… just don’t know.”

Trixie buried her head in her hooves and groaned. Steady put a comforting wing on her withers and patted lightly. “There, there. We will all get through this.”

Surprisingly, I noticed two things. First that he was not holding his wing correctly for level flight. Second, that his coat color, which extended to his wings, was nearly identical to that of our revered leader. I felt my cheeks curl up in a smile as the pieces fell into place.

Raven stared at me. “Mark?”

The other two looked up at my manic smile and waited.

I stopped smiling long enough to ask, “Tell me how long everypony thinks it will take to get the following set up and working well enough for its grand debut…”

The food helped a lot, and between that and the initial plans that we made, Trixie was back close to her usual self. Which is why I was now in Ponyville once more, courtesy of the pegasus royal chariot. At least I got to learn the Guards’ names this time. Gusty Wind and Hardy Wings apparently were Trixie’s normal go-to team for these flights. The stallions were strong and fast flyers and they got me to the township later that morning, landing directly outside the Golden Oaks library. I told them to wait nearby because I was unsure of how long I would be there. At worst, I might be refused entry, but I had to try. Despite the library being officially open at this time, I still felt it wise to knock first.

Spike answered the door. He gave me a glum look and said, “I figured it might be you.”

“Can I come in, Spike?”

The dragon looked over his shoulder before nodding and opening the door completely. I walked inside but saw nothing amiss.

“Twilight is still out, so it’s safe to talk.”

“Did she tell you what happened at Canterlot?”

“Yeah. I told her that she shouldn’t challenge Trixie, but she wouldn’t be swayed.”

“She did strike me as being single-minded at times. So – how the heck did she become an alicorn?”

“That’s a wild story. Did you hear about some crazy weather in Ponyville recently?”

“No. What’s that got to do with it?”

What followed was an incredible story of swapped cutie marks, changed destinies, the resulting chaos, and the efforts by Twilight to fix the situation that had all been brought on by a spell that I had inadvertently given her among all the other material that I had brought from Canterlot for Celestia’s student to study. Apparently, the creation of new magic had pushed Twilight over some kind of threshold and she… well… ascended. Even the scholarly Twilight had not been able to fully describe it, but she had found herself on some spiritual plain all by herself. Scared and confused, the mare hadn’t noticed power growing within her until it burst forth and transformed her before returning her to Equestria. It was when Rarity said “You look like a princess” that the seed of an idea was planted in Twilight’s brain, and she became determined to become exactly that. The new alicorn announced her intention to confront Trixie, and despite Spike and her friends advising that she take some time to think it over, Twilight rushed off to Canterlot without any of them to back her up.

Great. Two headstrong mares and me in between. I wished Celestia had been here to guide them both still but it looked like we had to do it the hard way. I sighed and said, “Trixie’s determined to meet Twilight’s challenge. How’s your big sister taking it, by the way?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Just like she usually does – completely over the top. Now she realizes that she should have listened to us first. Instead…”

“I so totally messed up!” wailed Twilight Sparkle. She cried into her hooves, but it was hard to tell because she hid her head from sight with her brand new wings.

Spike sat by her side at a table in the Golden Oaks Library, gently stroking her withers with one set of claws while the other took notes. He looked up at the mares standing around the room with his best ‘please help me’ look.

Applejack waved her hat in an attempt to get some air onto the crying alicorn. “Beggin’ yer pardon, newly appointed Alicorn of Friendship and Magic and All Whatnot, but what in tarnation were you thinkin’ by pulling a stunt like that in Day Court? Did those newfound feathers get stuck in your brain or somethin’?”

“I don’t know!” moaned Twilight. “After I got these wings, I just had this feeling that this is what Celestia really wanted. That this was a sign I needed to take the throne.”

Rainbow Dash spoke from the back of the room, trying to hide the broken glass from the shattered window pane while Twilight was distracted. “Did you talk to Celestia in that weirdo place between worlds when you ass-mended? Did she tell you to throw Trixie out on her ear?”

The new alicorn lifted her wings slightly, poking her nose out. “It’s ‘ascended.’ There were panels floating in space showing me images from my past in Canterlot and Ponyville. Celestia was in some of them and you girls were, too. But no, I didn’t get any messages from Celestia or anyone else in that strange dimension.”

Fluttershy said. “Umm… well, it’s really not my place to say, but could you go back and apologize and accept her offer to be a Diarch?”

Twilight shook her head. “I invoked Alicorn Law when I challenged Trixie, and she accepted, alicorn or not. That means I can either go through with the challenge…” The purple alicorn looked down at the table and swallowed. “…or leave Equestria forever.” She lowered her voice and her tears started again. “Celestia would be so ashamed of me. Every single thing Trixie said about me was right. Maybe I should leave.”

“Awww. It’s no big deal, Twilight! You just kinda went...” Pinkie Pie jumped up on the table. Spike pulled Twilight back just before the party pony landed where Twilight’s head had been. Pinkie stood up on her back legs and her forelegs flopped around, looking uncannily like limp noodles. Her mane flowed to cover her face and looked just like tentacles wiggling in all directions. “… ‘Rrrraahhhh! I am now one of the Great Old Ones! Fear my power and the wrath of the Elder Gods! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! ’ ”

Everyone stared in a combination of fascination and terror. For Spike, it was like that helpless feeling you get when you watch a train go careening off a bridge, only to see it eaten by an Eldritch Horror that was inexplicably pink. He had to admit that Pinkie did a great job distracting his sister out of her mopey train of thought. Apparently, it was the same for everyone else in the room, based on the same slack-jawed expression he saw everywhere.

Rarity cleared her throat. “That’s… a new look for you, Pinkie.”

In a flash, the party pony was on all fours and back to her normal—uh, for her—look. “Actually, Rares, it’s an ooooooooooold look.” She winked then settled down on the table and closed her eyes.

Rarity blinked a few times then turned to Twilight. “If I understand correctly, the point she was trying to make—”

“Pinkie Pie Point!” chirped the mare in the center of the table, then settled her head down again.

“—yes. The ‘Pinkie Pie Point’ was that perhaps the change into an alicorn gave you much more power than you were used to. And that power went to your head, perhaps just a smidge.”

Rainbow Dash snorted. “More like you thought you were a goddess whose every whim was law.”

“Rainbow Dash!” scolded Fluttershy in a voice that was definitely audible, which is how Spike knew how upset she was. The pegasus mare moved over to Twilight who was hunched over herself now. Fluttershy gently extended a wing to cover her back and pulled Twilight closer. “We’re friends first, Twilight. All of us will always be there for you.”

Everypony crowded around the newest alicorn in Equestria and made her into a hug burrito.

She sniffled. “Maybe… maybe you’re right. It’s just that Trixie makes me so angry!” Twilight’s voice lost an octave with the last word and she snarled. “That mare is desecrating everything Celestia and Luna ever stood for.” Her eyes started to glow. “I have to—”

Applejack spoke up. “Whoa! Whoa now, Sugarcube!”

Twilight’s eyes regained their regular color and her voice returned to normal. “Whu?... What?”

Spike poked her in the side. “You were going off the deep end again.”

She put a hoof to her chest and breathed deeply for a few moments.

“Ugh! Maybe you all are right. I’m not used to these alicorn instincts. They are just so powerful that they make me seem crazy!” All of her friends shared the same knowing look with each other. Twilight noticed. “What?”

Applejack scuffed the floor for a moment with a forehoof, then spoke up. “Beggin’ your pardon, Twilight, but you act crazy a good fair amount of the time.”

“Hoo yeah!” said Rainbow Dash. “If it’s not Mr. Smartypants or freaking out about Zecora or trying to understand Pinkie Pie, then it’s something else that twists your tail into a knot!”

Fluttershy shot a glare at the other pegasus before looking back at the purple mare. “And for all those times, your friends were always there for you, Twilight. And we always will be.”

Rarity added her wisdom. “Darling, we have been your steadying influence for well over a year now. No matter what happens, we will continue to help you through this. Now honestly, is the situation really that bad?”

Spike raised a claw and spoke up. “Actually, it kinda is.” He pointed to two piles of scrolls that had arrived via Derpy Post first thing that morning. “The pile on the left are nobles who are swearing support to Twilight. The pile on the right are those who are informing her of their fealty to Trixie.” He then pointed to the one scroll on the table. “That one is from Fancy Pants. He had his legal team do an all-nighter reading through every bit of Alicorn Law in the Canterlot Library and Royal Archives. Unfortunately, he just confirmed what Twilight said about there being exactly two ways the challenge could end.”

Rarity gave her perfect smile. “Well, it’s good to have his support, at least.”

Spike really, really hated contradicting her again, but he shook his head. “I think he did this for the good of Equestria. He said he was providing the results of his research to Trixie as well. He asked if he could do anything to speed the process along so there wouldn’t be any ‘avoidable unpleasantries.’ ”

“Civil war,” translated Twilight. “That’s what I’ve set in motion. And Lord Fancy Pants is right. Trixie needs to present her three challenges as soon as possible.”

“Three challenges?” asked Rainbow Dash. “So like you choose three champions for trials or something?”

“No. One challenge for unicorn traits, one for pegasus, and one for earth pony. I have the power of all three now, but I need to start practicing.” She looked up. “Applejack, would you teach me how to talk to plants and buck trees? I don’t know how long I have to learn so I need to start now.”

The farm pony nodded. “Apple trees I can do, but for talking to all types of plants, the flower sisters are the best in town.”

“Umm…” spoke up Fluttershy. “I can ask my friend Tree Hugger to come over. I’m not saying anything bad about the sisters, but I’ve never met anyone who can commune with plants like she can.”

Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash. “Can you give me a crash course on flying?”

Rarity frowned. “Not the best choice of words, darling.”

The smile Rainbow Dash gave reminded Spike that she loved to eat fish, and it looked like Twilight was going to be her next meal. “Sure thing, Twi! I gotta tell ya, I’m a stern teacher and won’t go easy on you!”

“That’s fine. I just need to learn quickly. Trixie could summon me for the challenges at any time.”

For some reason, all of the mares looked at Spike and waited.

“What?” He met eyes with all of them but they just continued to stare. Then he got it. “No, I don’t feel a scroll coming through on dragonfire right now. You can relax.”

They all sighed in relief.

Twilight smiled for the first time. “Girls… thanks. This means so much to me.” They all smiled back.

Just then, there was a flash of light and a popping sound from the back of the library. A tall mare with a nondescript gray cloak proceeded to lift her hood, revealing a very familiar smile. The purple mare’s face lit up. “Cadance!”

Twilight’s old foalsitter jogged up to her and embraced the newest alicorn with her forelegs and wings. “Oh, Twilight! I’m so proud of you!” She pulled back. “Let me see those wings!” With a sheepish grin, the nation’s newest alicorn complied.

Princess Cadance literally danced on the tips of her hooves. “They look absolutely magnificent! Congratulations!” They then went for another big hug.

After all the other Elements and Spike had their chance to say hi, Cadance got serious. “I heard what happened in Day Court yesterday. I imagine you are wondering why you felt the need to depose Trixie from the throne.”

Twilight cringed and looked down. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do.”

That caused the purple alicorn to look up in surprise.

“Twilight, there is more to becoming an alicorn than gaining wings and access to the magic of all three tribes. Your ascension was arranged ahead of time by Celestia, I suspect?”

Twilight nodded. “I believe so.”

Cadance sighed. “If I had been made aware, I could have prepared you as she obviously intended to but couldn’t because of her absence.” She looked the mare directly in the eyes. “Twilight, one of the most important side-effects of becoming an alicorn is in your mind. Alicorns are compulsively driven to lead. Celestia started to prepare you by putting you in the leadership position of the Elements of Harmony, and you are considered a leader here in the Ponyville community.” She smiled. “Do you know what I did within an hour of the foal-sized, almost powerless Princess Luna arriving at Canterlot Castle?”

The newest alicorn shook her head.

“I got on my knees and pledged my undying fealty to her. Luna was disoriented, feeling incredibly guilty about her past, and surrounded by strangers, but she accepted my pledge without hesitation because she knew the alternative was a struggle for power as second-in-command of Equestria. Celestia was very pleased and reiterated her promise to provide me a kingdom to rule at the earliest opportunity.”

Pinkie Pie bounded up. “So that’s how you got the Crystal Empire! And you got Shining Armor too as a housewarming gift!”

Everypony gaped in shock, but Cadance erupted in laughter. “Oh, that’s hilarious, Pinkie!” She put on an uncharacteristically evil grin and spoke to an empty part of the room. “ ‘Honey? I’m going to take you back to Bedchambers-R-Us. I think I’ll get another set of sheets with the store credit.”

Pinkie blew a bubble from a pipe that she produced from her mane. “Nah. You forgot to save the receipt. Classic rookie mistake. Happens at most first weddings.”

Twilight frowned and pushed herself in front of Pinkie. “OK, thanks. That helps me understand my feelings, but I still have to follow through with the challenges. Can I count on your support, Cadance?”

The pink alicorn shook her head sadly. “Neither Shiny or I can attend or appear to side with either party because we cannot be seen as interfering with internal Equestrian affairs. Technically, I shouldn’t be here at all, but… Eeeeeeee!” She started dancing again with a huge grin on her muzzle. “I just had to see the wings on the foal I used to babysit!”

Cadance jumped forward into another hug. “Come on, Twilight. Give me a proper hug this time!”

At her prompting, Twilight Sparkle used her wings to envelop the back of the larger mare.

The Princess of Love held her for several seconds before breaking the embrace. She looked kindly into Twilight’s eyes. “Write to me with any questions you have about your new form. I wish your brother and I could do more for you now in your time of need, but our hooves are tied.”

Rainbow Dash called out, “So what are the unimportant ones?” At Cadance’s puzzled look, the blue Pegasus added, “So what are the unimportant changes of becoming an alicorn?”

The Princess of Love blinked. “Oh! Well, she’ll have a much better appreciation for the taste of all produce now. And she’ll love fish just like a pegasus.”

That got a disgusted look from Twilight. “Ugh! No, I don’t think so.”

Cadance smiled knowingly, then looked over the rest of the Elements. “Any time you want Twilight to do something, tempt her with smoked salmon. Shiny figured out this was an alicorn weakness years ago. You wouldn’t believe what he’s talked me into doing because of it. Why this one time—”

Twilight clopped her forehooves over her ears. “Too much information!”

Cadance chuckled and kissed the purple alicorn on the forehead. When Twilight set her hooves back down, the Alicorn of Love smiled. “Very well, Twilight. We’ll talk about those changes when you’re ready.”

Cadance then lifted her hood over her head, and with a flash of magic and a popping sound, she was gone.

Taking that as her cue, Pinkie Pie jumped onto the table, her mane now in a shape exactly matching Twilight’s. A scroll “floated” in front of her on a wire hanger that looped around her head for support. A quill was in her mouth. “All right, everypony! We have a checklist! Let’s get checking!”

Yeah, Fancypants’ scroll had dampened the mood for Team Trixie. However, now that I knew that Twilight had realized that she had screwed up, I felt that there was a better chance of us resolving the situation in a manner that would be best for everyone. Or at least avoiding some nasty repercussions like civil war.

“Thanks, Spike. I know that you have to be loyal to your sister and you didn’t need to tell me all this.”

“Dude – Twilight’s your friend. Not even this crisis will change that. I think she’d be happy that you’re trying to fix this mess.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “So, are you going to tell her about our chat?”

He gave me a flat look. “Do you think Twilight hatched an idiot?”

I chuckled. “Nope. I had better go before she returns. I just need you to pass on this message from Trixie.” I took a scroll from my saddlebag and gave it to him.

“What’s this?” Spike asked.

“The formal terms of the challenge. We looked them up.”

“Oh. You could have just sent it by dragonfire, y’know?”

“Yeah, but it was my excuse for visiting here so that I could try to learn what was happening on your side of this sticky situation.”

“That makes sense. Anything else you need to know?”

“Maybe, but I can’t think of anything at the moment and I’ve imposed on you enough.”

“Okay. Come back and visit when this is all over,” he said as we walked to the door. “Oh – and may the best princess win.”

I nodded. The best for Equestria, I sincerely hoped.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Oh, it is on! The confrontation that nobody really wants anymore will be coming next chapter.

Art by Foxenawolf.

Airy Words chipped in for part of the cost of the art, and you can too by buying me a Ko-fi! Pleeeeeze?

Chapter 15 - Challenges

The next five days of preparations went by in a blur. Day Court was postponed until after the challenge. Trixie, Raven, Steady, and I strategized, rehearsed, brainstormed, improved our plan of action, and maybe went through a bottle of whiskey in the process… for lubricating the creative gears, of course!

Finally, the afternoon of the fifth day arrived. The fountain at the center of the Hurricane Courtyard had been removed (no clue – pony magic, I guess), replaced with a low wooden platform. Flagstone pathways formed rings around the center with flowers and low bushes between them. Ponies crowded the windows and hallways around the circular courtyard but only three had their hooves inside it. Those gathered to witness the unprecedented event included the Elements of Harmony, Spike, the Guild of Mages, the Parliament of Nobles, and an assortment of lesser nobles, castle staff, and common ponies. Raven and I watched from the fourth and top storey, overlooking Hurricane Courtyard from the private enclosed balcony of the Royal Suite. The nature of the privacy enchantment on the glass allowed us to see and hear what happened outside without anypony looking in. When the sun was directly overhead, Lord Fancy Pants strode to the center of the platform.

“Mares and gentle-stallions. We are gathered here today to perform the Challenge of Royalty as prescribed by Alicorn Law that predates our kingdom. In their wisdom, Celestia and Luna decreed that blood would not be spilled in a contest for the leadership of Equestria. Instead, I will present three tasks to the challengers: the first being pegasus, then earth pony, and lastly unicorn. I will provide my judgment at the end of the challenge. The winner will be the undisputed leader of our nation.”

He waited for several seconds but no pony dared to speak. He looked at Equestria’s newest alicorn. “Twilight Sparkle, please step forward.”

With the clomp of her golden horseshoes, Twilight came up to Fancy Pants’ right side and stopped. Thanks to Rarity, no doubt, Twilight wore a very fashion-forward gown that certainly looked the part for a princess of Equestria. Gold fabric was tastefully draped over a dark pink dress. A white train completed the look. It was fortunate that hoof-to-hoof combat wasn’t on the list of activities for the day because that was definitely not appropriate attire. Actually, that would be pretty much an automatic win for Twilight, to the point that attire wouldn’t make a difference. Ultimately, I had to see the logic in her choice of clothing. Dress for the job that you want.

“Are you prepared to continue with your challenge for the leadership of Equestria?”

“I am,” she said. I didn’t hear any emotion in her voice, just confidence.

“Do you accept me as Arbitrator of this challenge, and will you abide by my decision?”

She nodded. “I do and I will.”

Fancy Pants turned to his left. “Princess Trixie Lulamoon, please step forward.”

Platinum horseshoes clopped onto the wood. Trixie stood with a relaxed smile just a few feet from Twilight Sparkle. Trixie wore a more practical outfit – a tight-fitting jacket underneath her most resplendent royal purple cloak. The cloak ended in sharp lapels over her shoulders and was held in place by a large platinum clasp with a star in front. Instead of light blue and white stars, the cloak was adorned by the logo of the day and night alicorns chasing each other in a circle. Instead of a hat or crown, Trixie’s headgear consisted of a pair of flight goggles on her forehead.

“Are you prepared to defend your right to be the leader of Equestria?”

She turned to the crowd and gave her most beaming smile. Here we go. “When the mantle of leadership was passed to me by the great Princess Celestia, I was uncertain of my worthiness for the office.” I saw Twilight sigh and her ears droop, but the audience was paying full attention. Trixie began to pace the stage in a wide circle, waving with one hoof as she addressed every part of the crowd.

“But these months have done something wonderful to my heart. Do you know what that is?”

She looked around with a smile full of affection. Damn, that mare could work an audience.

“I found the love that Celestia and Luna had for all My Little Ponies. I know now why they worked so tirelessly for you all. I learned of the many ways that make the Ponies of Equestria the most generous, kind, loyal, good-humored, and honest beings in the entire world.”

Twilight’s ears and head perked up at that. Stealing your lines? That one had to hurt.

Trixie had paced almost back to where she had started. “And in closing, let me tell you, one and all, that every breath I take, every move I make, every step I take, it will always be for you.”

I heard sniffs and saw some handkerchiefs coming out around the crowd. I turned to Raven and hissed under my breath, “She cribbed my lyrics!”

“Quiet,” she whispered back.

“She totally stole them!”

“Doesn’t matter. Pay attention.”

I looked back to see Trixie make the final step back to face Twilight Sparkle again. “I will defend my right to the throne with every fiber of my being, my honor, and my life.”

I believed her. Apparently Twilight did too because her eyes widened a bit. This was absolutely, positively, not supposed to be a battle to the death, but Trixie just pushed all her chips to the center of the table and I could tell it rattled the purple alicorn.

Showing no irritation at the delay, Lord Fancy Pants continued. “Do you accept me as Arbitrator of this challenge, and will you abide by my decision?”

She nodded. “I do and I will.”

I whispered to no one in particular. “Showtime.”

Fancy Pants addressed the crowd and the two mares. “The first trial is the pegasus challenge. You will each demonstrate your flying prowess.” He turned to Trixie. “Princess Trixie, you will be first.”

I heard Raven retreat back into the room behind me. Trixie kept her eyes on her opponent, unfastening the clasp on her cloak, folding it and placing it on the ground. Her vest was now shown to be a standard Equestrian military flight vest, her wings poking out of the holes made for that purpose. She lowered her flight goggles and smiled wider as her wings rustled slightly.

I turned and looked back. The room was dark, with the windows set to let in only a small amount of light. All furniture had been removed and Raven stood to the side, her hooves spread wide and her horn alight. Steady floated in the center of the chamber in her magic. He wore a flight jacket identical to the one worn by Trixie, except his wings were completely stiff and unmoving.

“Now,” I said to my valet.

He tapped his flight goggles. “I see it. Counting down. Five… Four…”

I turned back to face the courtyard. We had worked on dramatic timing and synchronizing movements for many hours.

“…Three… Two…”

Trixie finally took her eyes off of Twilight, looked upwards, spread her wings fully, and crouched – all the while wearing the same confident smile.

“…One… Now… Grruh!”

In the courtyard, Trixie sprang upwards like a shot. I could hear her happy laughter cut through the air.

Steady grunted in strain. “Brake… flip… open… dangit! Right hard… climb into loop… out into… crap!”

Well above the courtyard, I saw Trixie come out of her loop off-angle and she had to project a bubble on the side of the castle to keep from crashing into it. She bounced off the barrier into a graceful flip and her wings reopened. “Oh, yeah!” she yelled. Throughout the next couple of minutes, she kept a constant stream of laughter and whoops and hollers, occasionally using her magic to bounce off of an obstacle or grab onto a surface to execute an especially tight turn.

Steady moved his head to look down. “…slow spin to courtyard… and now… balconies…”

This was the part we practiced the most. Trixie grinned hugely as she galloped along the solid barriers that ringed the balconies on the three top levels, giving every observer a close-up look at her mastery of the aerial element. When she was done with the last layer, she sprung off, turned to fly directly over Twilight, then flared her wings to hover over the spot she had started. As she descended, she turned around and alighted on all four hooves simultaneously.

I could see Twilight’s frown from where I was standing and heard her voice clearly. “Nice ‘wings,’ Trixie. I’m curious. Would you mind taking off your jacket?”

Trixie, uncharacteristically, said nothing. She just smiled and reached for the zipper on her flight jacket.

I called out Trixie’s movements precisely. “Zipper pull… done… grabbing… out… forward… backward… half… done.”

Looking in the courtyard, I saw what appeared to be Trixie’s slightly-open wings slowly emerge from the holes of the flight jacket then furl back to her sides. Trixie carefully folded the jacket then levitated her cloak back onto herself, clasping it in place. She looked expectantly at her opponent.

Twilight blinked in obvious confusion.

I heard Steady and Raven come up beside me. Steady was huffing and puffing a bit, flexing the kinks out of his wings.

“I never, ever want to put any part of my body through dimensional portals again!”

“Join the club,” I deadpanned. “Miss Sparkle’s turn now.”

We heard Fancy Pants from the courtyard break Twilight’s contemplation. “Twilight Sparkle: it is now your turn.”

The purple alicorn looked away from Trixie to the stallion. She exhaled and closed her eyes. After a few deep breaths, her wings shot out to the sides, then upwards dramatically. She raised her head skyward, opening her eyes with resolve set in her face. Twilight crouched down, the wooden planks shivering from the magic building in her. With a roll of her shoulders, she burst upwards at incredible speed… only to turn sharply into horizontal flight and smash through a wall on the third storey. A series of crashes followed. Ponies that had dived out of the way peered into the hole, only to be moved aside by the other five Element Bearers who charged in after her. Curiously, Rarity brought along a large bag floating in her magic.

A few minutes later, Twilight stumbled out of the wreckage, looking embarrassed but not worse for wear. She was now wearing a royal purple dress with silver lace highlights and silver shoes. Her mane and tail were braided with silver chains throughout their length. The audience let out applause at both her returning safely and her new wardrobe. The rest of the Elements fanned out on the balcony as Twilight glided back down to her place in the courtyard. Twilight nodded to Fancy Pants, indicating she was ready to continue.

There was a knock at the door to the Royal Suite. Raven trotted towards it as Steady and I kept our eyes on the courtyard.

Fancy Pants motioned to a page that had been staying out-of-sight in a room at the lowest level of the courtyard. The unicorn servant floated two pots full of soil in her magic, resting one in front of each mare on the platform. Each earthenware pot was perhaps the size of a pony’s head and each held a small sapling or vine that only had a couple of small leaves. The page then returned to the room from which she had come.

Steady asked. “What kind of plant is that?”

“No clue,” I replied.

Fancy Pants addressed both mares. “The second challenge is earth pony magic. Attempt to make the plants grow.” He turned to the purple alicorn. “Twilight Sparkle, you are first.”

Twilight got down on her knees, removed her horseshoes and gently placed one forehoof on the soil in the pot while staring intently at the sprig within. She exhaled and the pot seemed to shimmer slightly but when the effect vanished, the plant looked the same. Twilight narrowed her eyes and tapped the pot with her forehoof a few times.

The mare then picked up the pot and walked off of the platform. Her magic lifted a flagstone and a large plug of soil from underneath it. The pot separated itself from the soil surrounding the small green growth and the young plant was gently placed in the ground.

Raven came up carrying Trixie’s flight jacket and goggles in her magic. “What did I miss?”

I growled. “Miss Sparkle is thinking outside the box. Fancy Pants did not say she had to leave the twig in the pot and she figured that out.”

In the courtyard, more flagstones floated away and Twilight stood with all four hooves on the soil. She closed her eyes and lowered her head. The ground beneath her began to turn the dark color of rich soil and small weeds started to sprout from it. The dirt turned that rich color in a slow-moving wave, followed by the second wave of tiny weeds coming up from the ground. The waves reached out to where the small plant lay dormant. After a few seconds, the dark soil surrounded the plug of earth from the pot. The sprouting greenery dutifully followed where the soil had darkened but did not penetrate the dirt that had been transplanted with the sprig.

Twilight opened her eyes and frowned at the stubborn plant. After several seconds, she lifted her head and wings and her eyes glowed white. A sphere of magic began to rotate in the air above the courtyard. It was almost as wide as the space and had splotches of color all along its surface. Slowly, it shrunk, growing less transparent as it descended. A faint crackling sound could be heard and a wind started to circle around the area. When the ball was the size of a melon, it touched the small plant. It continued to shrink until it appeared that its entirety had been absorbed by the small leaves and stem. The wind died down and Twilight was left glaring at the uncooperative twig.

She frowned and tilted her head for a few moments, her brow furrowed in thought. Then she clopped a forehoof against her forehead, leaving a dirty imprint. “Of course! I completely forgot.”

With a flash of her magic, a watering can appeared just above the plant. Twilight leaned in as she carefully sprinkled out the first drops.

I saw the purple alicorn spin away in midair as the plant grew skyward with the roar of earth being moved and flagstones flying away. It took less than a second to reach the level of the top of the courtyard and perhaps two more to grow beyond the height of the tallest castle tower. I glanced down to the courtyard and saw Fancy Pants sensibly backing up while Trixie, her pot safely floating in her magic, walked slowly up to the rapidly expanding trunk of what now was clearly a type of vine. As the growth slowed, she raised a hoof dramatically and lowered it in time with the deceleration of its growth.

“Duck!” I heard Steady yell as he shoved me and Raven down to the floor. A vine burst through the window right where my head had been. He pulled me away from the branch as he simultaneously pushed Raven towards the far wall. After a few more seconds, the vine had stopped its growth. A glance showed it had snaked throughout the chamber and as we watched, large bunches of grapes appeared all along its length.

We heard Trixie call out from the courtyard. “Everypony! Check yourselves and your neighbors for injuries. Call down for any assistance you require or if you cannot locate anypony.” I looked back down in time to see her pointing to the medical staff which had been sitting nearby. “Pegasi, fly up to the upper levels. Unicorns and earth ponies, start at the bottom and work your way up. This contest will not continue until every pony is accounted for.” She then seemed to catch herself and looked back at Fancy Pants. “Do you agree, Arbitrator?”

I looked back to the unicorn stallion who nodded and said, “I do.”

Raven gasped next to me and I followed her gaze. There was a large branch of the vine that had shot down one of the hallways on the second floor that led to the courtyard. From here, I could see that it had lifted the floor of the storey above as it expanded the hallway well beyond its original size. That branch was mirrored by several others that went off in other directions both above the roof and below it—the ones below the roof had punctured their way through whatever wall or window was in their path. The trunk itself was at least forty feet around.

As I watched, Twilight emerged from a demolished stone wall on the second floor. Her dress was ruined (again) and she gaped.

Trixie called up to her. “Twilight Sparkle! Assist Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash with any casualties on the upper storeys.” The blue mare didn’t wait for a response, instead trotting over to talk to ponies that lined the bottom of the courtyard.

In a very short period of time, all ponies had been found, the few scrapes and cuts had been bandaged and most spectators were now happily dining on bunches of grapes that were mere hooflengths away. Rarity had come through again and now Twilight wore a fuchsia dress with a pink saddle and lace along every edge. However, it seemed the fashionista had run out of hoofwear and Twilight was now bare-hoofed.

The three ponies in the courtyard had shifted over a bit, as the place formerly occupied by Twilight had been reduced to kindling by the explosive power of the grapevine’s growth. Fancy Pants looked at the blue mare. “Princess Trixie, it is now your turn.”

I found myself holding my breath and Trixie studied her pot and the tiny plant inside. She smiled at it and gently set it down. Looking at Fancy Pants but projecting her voice throughout the courtyard, Trixie said, “For the welfare of My Little Ponies, I decline to proceed with the earth pony trial.”

That generated a great deal of discussion amongst the spectators. One voice cut through them, however. “Yeah, that’s all well and good, but there’s still a problem.”

All eyes turned upwards to see a frowning Rainbow Dash hovering above the courtyard at about our level on the fourth floor. She pointed upwards. “See that cloud ceiling at about a hundred feet? The other weather pegasi and I pushed it into place along with more clouds further up to keep the vine from collapsing.” As she spoke, I noticed that much of the courtyard was now in the shade as other pegasi continued to push clouds in to buttress up the support for the vine.

Rainbow waved her forelegs wide. “This fix won't last. There are over a thousand feet of vine above that cloud that needs to come down before it collapses onto somepony or somepony’s home.”

Fancy Pants tapped his chin with a forehoof. “Twilight Sparkle and Princess Trixie. Your final task is to work together to take down the vine and remove it from wherever it penetrated the castle…”

Twilight nodded and her horn and eyes began to glow white.

The stallion continued. “…without causing further damage.”

Twilight’s magic winked out. “Oh… umm…” She looked up, chewing her lip.

Trixie stared directly at the purple alicorn. “Twilight Sparkle, does your magic have sufficient strength to bring down heavy sections of the vine? Say of the weight of ten ponies?”

The mare’s attention snapped to Trixie. “Yes, but I have to be able to see it.” She spread her wings. “I’ll just head up there.”

“No, you will not,” ordered Trixie. That made Twilight snap her gaze back to the blue mare. “You are very new to your wings. You cannot convince me that you can fly and levitate heavy objects at the same time.”

Twilight blinked and hesitated, her wings still stretched upwards. “I have to try.”

The blue mare made a negating gesture with a front hoof. “There is a better alternative.” She looked straight up at the Royal Suite and called out. “Pockmark Barbells! Bring down both sets of goggles!”

“Is she serious?” asked Raven.

“She’s writing the script as she goes. Yes, she’s serious.”

Steady gathered up both pairs of goggles. “Sorry, Mark, but it’s safer if I go.”

I stopped him with a forehoof. “And if someone notices that your wings no longer perfectly match your coat color? I don’t think so. Thanks for the concern, but gliding I can do just fine.” I yanked the goggles out of his grasp with my mouth. I turned and pulled one of the glass panels inwards that also acted as a door. Without giving myself more time to think, I jumped out into space and opened my wings.

I actually didn’t want to hear Steady’s counter-argument because I knew what it was going to be. There wasn’t enough room to glide all the way to the ground from the height I started. I did get as low as the second storey and managed to get all four of my hooves onto that opposite wall to stop my forward momentum with a minimum of pain. From there, it was a short drop to the ground that I was able to slow somewhat by keeping my wings spread. I trotted up to Trixie and gave her the goggles, only belatedly realizing that perhaps she expected me and my clumsiness to destroy them.

For her part, the blue mare waved down Rainbow Dash and gave her one pair after looking it over. She then gave the other pair to Twilight. “Go ahead. Put them on.”

They both complied and Rainbow frowned. “I don’t see anything different.”

Twilight, however, let out a happy “Ohhhhhh!” She then said to her friend. “Dash, look directly behind me, please.”

Dash did so after a puzzled look at Twilight. The pegasus gasped when several of the flagstones glowed with a lavender radiance and lifted off the ground, then quickly settled down again.

Twilight turned to talk to Trixie. “Are these the same goggles…” The mare was no longer there, however.

Trixie was trotting away, barking orders to those in the gallery. “Sergeant! Open the Royal Armory. Equip pegasi with any weapon that will allow them to cut the vines. You there, chef! Gather whomever you need to collect all of the grapes and transport them to the Royal Kitchens and the four food pantries in town. If there are still extra, place them in the pool in the Royal Spa. It is currently drained. You! Scary Inspector Mare! You are in charge of clearing the hallways and rooms of vines without causing further damage to the building. Permanent fixes can wait until later.”

I turned to see Rainbow ascend into the clouds, a short sword held in her mouth. A few minutes later, she escorted the first long length of vine into the courtyard. When the lavender aura winked out, Rainbow rocketed back into the cloud cover and a team of earth ponies gathered the grapes and chopped the plant into more manageable pieces. Trixie encouraged those on the ground and directed where the vine segments were to be stacked at the rear of the courtyard.

I felt useless with my lack of flying skills and didn’t trust myself with wielding an axe. Eventually, I was able to procure a saw, which I could use with little chance of damaging myself or others. Spirits were high and ponies broke into a work song.

I don’t want to work
I just want to pluck these grapes all day
I don’t want to play
I just want to eat these grapes all day

I watched enraptured as the ponies around me all started stomping their hooves in time with each other. In fact, all their movements were in sync. Even their voices were harmonizing wonderfully as no pony missed a beat or hit a bad note. So this was the magic of Harmony in action. I could feel some echo of it in my body and soul – like I was standing just a little ways into the surf and the waves were splashing against my ankles, inviting me to go further out in the water.

The song had faded away by the time Rainbow Dash and her crew pushed the final clouds away and the top of the vine was now only a hundred feet or so above us. The entire back of the courtyard was now stacked with pieces of the vine’s branches and stem. I saw a couple of lumberjack saws being carried by teams of pegasi, each at least fifty feet in length. Ponies who had delivered grapes around the city were returning and the last of the vine sections were being brought into the courtyard from the rooms in this area of the castle. The building inspector mare (I still don’t know her name) had directed her crew to bore a tunnel through the middle of a couple of the branches. That allowed ponies to pass through without removing the wood that was supporting the seriously damaged sections.

When the trunk had been altogether removed, the Arbitrator directed everyone to go to the throne room for his decision. Fancy Pants, Trixie, and Twilight moved to the front of the dais, which Trixie had recently upgraded. It now included two levels with ramps instead of stairs (yay!) and cascading pools (boo!—the sound of falling water always made me feel like I needed to pee).

When everypony was in their place (even Steady was present, discretely standing in the back wearing a cloak), the room became silent. I was in the front row of spectators, the other Elements of Harmony to my right and Raven Inkwell to my left. Fancy Pants stood directly in front of the throne, with Trixie on his right and Twilight Sparkle on his left. Both mares looked confident, but Trixie’s smile was relaxed while the Element of Magic’s expression showed determination.

Fancy Pants spoke with poise, his voice carrying through the hall. “I have sat in judgment of these two supremely qualified mares. This challenge was brought in accordance with Alicorn Law, and in keeping with the same, I have made my decision.”

Every pony in the throne room held their breath. Somehow, I felt the magic of Equestria flowing through every pony there, including myself.

“By winning all three trials, Princess Trixie Lulamoon is confirmed as the rightful ruler of Equestria.”

There were more than a few gasps as Trixie bowed her head to accept the platinum crown placed there by Fancy Pants’ hooves. Twilight stared wide-eyed, her mouth hanging open.

As Trixie began walking up the ramp of the dais, I could clearly hear the purple alicorn’s words. “But she didn’t do the first challenge alone, and she didn’t even try the second.”

Fancy Pants turned his calm gaze to Twilight. “There was nothing in the rules prohibiting assistance from other ponies. And I was judging both of you on your ability to lead and inspire the ponies around you, not merely your capacity to perform the tasks.”

Trixie had reached the landing halfway up the dais. She turned around and spread her wings. All present, some quickly, some slowly, took a knee and bowed to their sovereign. The only exceptions were the two ponies directly in front of the throne. Fancy Pants stood impassively, looking at Twilight. The purple alicorn stood still, breathing heavily. Trixie said nothing, choosing to smile benevolently and wait for Twilight’s next action.

Stiffly, The Element of Magic moved directly in front of Trixie. Still gulping air, she bent her knees and lowered her head until her horn and muzzle touched the red carpet. Twilight’s wide-eyed stare did not change, as if a large part of her could not believe what she was doing. “My fate is yours to command,” she said with a quavering voice.

Alicorn Law was clear – there could be no bloodshed. Other than that though, Trixie could command anything of the purple alicorn, an oath of absolute loyalty being the most likely, but banishment certainly was high on the list. The newly confirmed Princess cut the dramatic moment short. “Rise, Twilight Sparkle.”

With her hooves trembling, the purple alicorn did so.

Trixie raised her head. “Twilight Sparkle. Element of Magic. Finest mage in generations. I call on you once again to take your rightful place defending Equestria and serving all of its ponies.” She lowered her wings and held out a hoof. “Will you join Trixie as Princess and rightful Diarch of Equestria? Will you rule with me?” Trixie’s smile was warm and welcoming.

Twilight Sparkle gasped and held a hoof to her chest. I could feel the tension of the other Elements as they waited.

“Yes,” replied the purple mare. “Yes, I will serve My Little Ponies as their Princess.”

Trixie’s smile grew wider as Twilight climbed the ramp to stand by her left side. I saw Rarity’s aura float the Element of Magic tiara up to Trixie, who took it in her hooves and placed it on its owner’s head. The blue mare then grabbed the purple unicorn’s right forehoof and thrust it into the air. Trixie raised her wings, which were quickly followed by Twilight’s.

Trixie’s magically amplified voice reverberated across the throne room. “ALL HAIL TWILIGHT SPARKLE! PRINCESS OF EQUESTRIAAAAA!”

Her last drawn-out word was completely drowned out by the cheers of every mare and stallion present as they stomped, jumped, and reared.

I looked through the pandemonium and caught Pinkie’s eye. She winked and I grinned. This was going to be a hell of a party.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Trixie won not because she was the most powerful, but because she was the better mare for the job. Quite a turnaround from the person she used to be. But she had learned something that Twilight had yet to, and with a little help from her friends, she brought about the best result.

This chapter is mostly Airy Words' work.

Art by Mix-up a.k.a. Amalgamzaku

Chapter 16 - Ominous Visions

Trixie and Twilight had quickly worked out a schedule for sharing the duties required of the diarchs, with both attending to some royal business. Night Court had only been held on two occasions during the brief time that I had been in Equestria, but it was now a full four hours each evening Monday to Friday. Twilight took those more often than Trixie because on slow nights she got the chance to bone up on Equestrian law, research tax reforms, and continue her studies into magic. Ironically, she also took some lessons from Trixie.

Having come to terms with her defeat in the challenges, Twilight, as typical of the mare, wanted to learn how to better inspire ponies and exactly how we had pulled off the stunts. She was very impressed at the artifacts that we had created and complimented us. With her ego stroked, Trixie was happy to talk more about her particular skills. It was awesome watching the two bond over applications of magic and illusion that neither had considered before. Trixie also guided Twilight through situations where the new princess would motivate and entertain various audiences — everything from a puppet theater for foals to a pep talk in the Canterlot Comets’ locker room. The team still lost, but Trixie chalked it up as a win in the development of public speaker Twilight.

The new Princess of Friendship was working hard at living up to her title and, in return, Trixie dropped the use of the honorifics of Queen and Empress to show her new humility… most of the time. Twilight merely rolled her eyes now when Trixie went a bit over the top. The purple alicorn had started to grok the stage magician, which made my life a whole lot easier. Twilight gladly stepped into the role Celestia used to occupy as Trixie’s teacher of unicorn magic. It made me smile to see the former showmare put so much effort into improving her skills. While she would never reach Twilight’s level, that didn’t stop Trixie from practicing at every opportunity. I did have to complain to ‘teach’ about her student transforming every single item in my suite into teacups. Twilight didn’t let Trixie go to sleep that night until she mastered the counterspell and I had a place to lay my head again. The teacup motif on the pillows and sheets was a bit odd, but after all, I didn’t have to look at them in the dark.

I was just happy that my friendship with Twilight had not been soured by my support of Trixie. I certainly was welcomed when I paid my next visit to Ponyville where Twilight still chose to reside for those days that she did not serve Night Court duty. Her friends were also glad to see me again – perhaps a little too glad now that I had my eyes opened to the realities of pony society. My Bachelor Spidey Sense kept tingling constantly when either Rarity or Fluttershy was around, although what they saw in a pseudo-pegasus who couldn’t even fly well, I don’t know. At least Spike was just happy to see me and the comics that I brought him.

A firm routine was gradually established after a few weeks. Sometimes a little too routine. My mind was wandering during a particularly dull session and I almost missed Trixie addressing me.

“And what do you think on the matter, Grand Vizier?”

I blinked, bringing myself back to reality. I was standing in my accustomed spot to the right of Princess Trixie’s throne (or was she in a Duchess mood today? I could never keep track). Lately, Day Court was full of endless cases of noble ponies and commoners complaining about trivial little details of their lives I could hardly relate to and rarely understood. When I had brought this to the mare’s attention, she simply recommended I flip a coin to guide my advice to the throne, as her rulings were more often than not decided in a similar manner. I had discovered the true reason why she always wanted me by the throne when I had the misfortune to run into the pony on the losing end of my virtual coin flip two days after Day Court had ended. “Passing the buck”, or in her street parlance, “The Mark Left Holding the Bag For The Coppers To Find”, was an area of her expertise that translated well to her new duties.

In my most bored and condescending tone, I invoked, “I find that I have no wisdom to dispense in this case, Oh Imperial Highness.” In other words, stick it, Your Worship.

Her unamused stare lingered on me for a few moments without effect. Momma didn’t raise no fool. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her look down to her lap and reach for her Golden Bit of Destiny.

“Your Highness!” gasped a guard running into the throne room. “Come ~pant!~ quickly!”

I thought he and his full plate mail looked familiar, and then I recognized him. It was the guard from the Portal Room. Mentally, I kicked myself for settling for Trixie’s habit of calling everyone ‘guard’ or ‘soldier’ or ‘lackey.’ Actually, I guess the last one was mostly for me.

“Calm yourself! Catch your breath and then explain what is more important than the welfare of My Little Ponies here in Day Court.”

The guard shook his head as his sides heaved. “There is ~pant!~ new activity ~pant! pant!~ in one of the rooms!”

I sidled up to… wait, can I still say that? ... moved up to Trixie’s side and whispered, “Portal Room!” into her ear.

“Day Court is adjourned! Attend me, Jafar!” Trixie sprang off the throne in a dead run.

I galloped after her, glowering. I should never have told her that name. Never ever!

Thanks to my longer legs, I had almost caught up to her by the time we got to the stairs. To my amazement, a blue aura engulfed me and carried me safely to the bottom. Trixie let me run the rest of the way although I did call out ‘Thanks’ to her which got no reply.

We skidded to a stop in front of the door and the unicorn’s horn lit followed by the door… which remained closed. “He locked it! Of C-O-U-R-S-E he just had to lock it!” She stared up the hallway and started tapping a front hoof rapidly against the tile.

“Quiet!” I ordered.

“The Great…” she said before she heard it too. A tinkling, almost sizzling noise was faintly heard from the other side of the door.

Several seconds later, the doubly-winded guard ran up. “A thousand ~pant!~ pardons my—”

“Just give me the key, already,” interrupted Trixie . The keys were levitated in a green aura then grabbed in her blue field after which the guard collapsed in the hallway.

In short order, the door was open and Trixie and I went through. We saw immediately what the guard had been talking about. One of the twisted frames on the floor was warping like taffy and shards of glass danced through and around it. A second, darker frame and slightly pinker glass, doubtless from its own shattered mirror, also bumped and moved, but not as vigorously. Everything was covered in a rippling, clear field that made it look like the area around the frames was underwater.

“Do you know what is happening?” I asked.

“This is temporal magic, I’m certain. Trixie doesn’t have the skill Twilight Sparkle has in these matters. Trixie does not want to interfere unless absolutely necessary.”

Suddenly, the lighter frame and clear glass jumped upright, casting the darker frame upwards into the ceiling where it then crashed to the ground. The pink-hued glass shards exploded in all directions. I raised a protective hoof but a shield thrown up by Trixie stopped the fragments.

The now whole lighter-wooden frame did not appear to hold glass at all, but instead slowly whirling clouds that impossibly stretched into the distance.

After a minute, I saw the fuzzy silhouette of a tall human woman with blonde hair approach down the hallway of clouds. She dipped her head as she stepped through, and what could only be Celestia emerged. She raised her head and spread her wings, nearly knocking over one of the other mirrors. “Ahhh! That feels so good!” She stepped a few paces away from the portal, smiled at me like she knew who I was, then beamed down at Trixie. “Hey! Nice crown!”

Trixie didn’t have a chance to speak as another woman approached the boundary of the portal, this time with dark hair. Luna stepped out and spread her wings even before she was all the way through. Perhaps forewarned by Celestia’s entrance, a blue field caught the adjacent mirror that had nearly toppled as a result.

Luna turned and looked that way. “Oops!” Then forward to the source of the magic. “Nice catch! You have no idea what it’s like to not be able to feel or stretch your wings for ages.” She smiled. “I see that being a member of Canterlot Royalty has filled out your figure agreeably in our absence!”

Only then did I notice their accessories. Along with their tiaras, breastplates, and fancy metal horse slipper-things, they both had bulging saddlebags and… peculiar headgear. Celestia had a white and red baseball cap that was familiar to me, and Luna wore a foam finger declaring “#1” proudly on her horn.

Trixie apparently noticed at the same time. “What fiendish monster held you captive with those alien nullifiers on your heads? How did you escape? Do you need help removing them?”

The Royal Sisters laughed. “Oh, Trixie,” began Celestia, “you remind me more and more of Twilight.” She levitated the ‘I (heart) N J’ cap off of her head. “No, this is a… souvenir of our time in Mark’s world.”

I started. She smiled again. “Yes, Mark Wells, we are aware that you came to Equestria unwittingly.”

Apparently, I was getting used to the place. Of all the reactions I could have had, I chose to poke the blue unicorn in the ribs. “See? It’s not that hard to get my name right.”

Trixie gaped at the newly returned diarchs. “So Marked Bells was right. You did abandon Equestria to go shopping.”

Celestia gasped. “Nonsense! Completely untrue!” Both alicorns’ eyes went wide and their wings ruffled a bit in apparent agitation.

Luna picked up the conversation. “If you must know, our mother asked us to attend her on a matter of extreme importance, and time was of the essence so we could not delay!” She then burped in a very non-princess-like manner, which got her a glare from her sister. During her explanation, when Luna had finally gotten her wings under control and re-furled, she inadvertently pulled up the flap of one saddlebag. A hint of gold and green was visible until the flap fell back down again.

Trixie turned to look at me. “So what is your 'B.S. Meter' telling you?”

I snorted. “Everything they are saying is technically true but they are so full of it, I'm surprised grass isn't growing everywhere they walk.”

The sisters raised their heads up high, but sweaty foreheads and darting looks told me volumes. “I think the answer to what they were really doing is in Luna's saddlebag.”

Luna snapped a wing protectively over the offending item and sidestepped away. “That is none of your business! We have nothing to hide!”

Trixie strode up to her with a smile. “Then you'll have no problem showing it to me. Also... months of holding Equestria together. You. Owe. Me.”

Luna trembled then looked at her sister pleadingly. It was in vain because Celestia was hiding her head rather adorably under a wing. The Night Princess sighed then pulled her feathery appendage out of the way.

Trixie lifted the flap with her magic and levitated the item out, now revealed to be a trophy – a gold chalice on top supported by four green, malachite-pattern columns.

The blue unicorn frowned then floated the object over to me. “I cannot understand this writing.”

I squinted as I read aloud the tiny typeface on the much-too-small plaque at the bottom of the trophy. “Centennial Nathan's Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. Presented to Celestia Faust, Luna Faust, and Lauren Faust. Three Woman Team. 102 hot dogs in 10 minutes.”

Trixie and I gaped at the sisters. I swore I heard two “thunks” from our chins hitting the floor.

Trixie screeched, “You both ate MEAT?!”

I yelled, “102 hot dogs between the three of you! Holy crap, that's INCREDIBLE!”

Celestia looked anywhere but at both of us. “Meat by-products actually. There is a government allowed percentage of sawdust, animal bone, and even insect matter in the sausage casings.”

“Well, that's true,” I mused aloud.

Trixie started hopping up and down like an over-caffeinated chipmunk. “I don't care! How could you two of all ponies abandon Your Little Ponies for months to go off and eat meat!”

Luna turned to her, delicately removing the foam finger from her horn with one forehoof. “Young one, do not be so upset over nothing. Remember how old we are. When we were young, eating meat was a delicacy. It's only a few thousand years of culture that has made this a taboo practice.”

The crown slipped off Trixie's head then bounced and rolled away. I did not think she noticed.

Celestia brought her head out from under her wing and looked kindly at the unicorn. “And when our mother...” She turned to look at me briefly. “She manages a trailer park in Florida.” I nodded. My old landlady might be renting a spot from her right now.

The white alicorn looked back to Trixie. “...she asked us to enter the annals of immortality by getting our names engraved on the Hall of Fame Wall for the one-hundred-year-anniversary event!” She sighed. “It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity . How could we refuse?”

Trixie snapped out of her funk and started jumping up and down again. “But you're already immortal!”

“Just think of it as quality family time, then.”

I spoke up. “But why did it take you over three months to return?” Both sets of immortal eyes fixed on me, which was more disconcerting than I want to admit.

Luna answered. “Because of you, Mark Wells.”

I blinked.

Celestia spoke up. “We arrived on July 2nd, stepping into the antique store in the dead of night. Our mother picked us up in her Winnebago and we were off. Imagine our surprise when the mirror had been sold by the time we returned. It took some effort to sweet talk the proprietor—”

Luna spoke up. “I don’t think that is the right term, but it was enjoyable. Only eighty-years-old and most spirited!” She smirked, looking at her sister. “You, cradle-robber, you!”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “…anyway, we… gained access to your house—”

I scowled. “Broke down my front door.”

Luna moved out of her sister’s field of view, nodded vigorously, and silently mouthed “back door,” all while pointing an accusing hoof at Celestia, who continued without acknowledgment. “…found the mirror, and were unable to pass through. The two of us were ultimately able to restore the gateway by using our always-present link to the celestial bodies around Equestria, but there was a cost.”

Luna moved up alongside her sister. “In simple terms, the gateway is constructed by folding space-time. When the connection is lost, new material must be added. The results are… unpredictable. Only our expertise with temporal magic allowed us to return within a few months of leaving. In fact, we are still looking for one of Star Swirl’s classmates whom we believe will reemerge from one of the mirrors in this room in the next few millennia.”

Celestia finished. “…upon which time he will be given a ‘B–’ in his ‘Constructing Extra-Dimensional Gateways’ class and discover all of his other class credits have expired.”

“But why didn’t your mother just buy it and keep the mirror with her?”

The Day Alicorn frowned. “Let me repeat… Florida… trailer park.”

I silently made the ‘Ohhhhh’ sound with my lips.

She continued. “Truly much safer in an antique store where everything was priced out of reach, or at least so we thought.”

The Patient and Fairly Peeved Trixie finally got her voice back. “Do you two have any idea what Trixie has gone through to keep your precious Little Ponies from rioting? All so you can get some alien trinkets!? This show is over! The stage is closed!”

She galloped out, followed quickly by Celestia offering apologies and levitating Trixie’s crown behind her.

I brought my gaze back to the Night Princess, who look fixedly at me. I could not read her expression.

“Pleased to meet you, Your Majes… uh, Your Highness. My name is Mark Wells.” She continued to stare, not even blinking. “…but you already knew that.”

Silence. I was starting to feel uncomfortable as a gradual sense of wrongness began to creep over me. “Ummm… is there something you want to tell me, Princess?”

She seemed to look right through me a few seconds more and I suppressed a tremor that wanted to start in my legs. Suddenly she blinked. “Don’t you think it’s about time you woke up, Mark Wells?”

I opened my eyes and brought my head up with a gasp.

After falling out of bed and untangling my legs from the infernal blanket, I trotted for the Celestial Suite. After a few steps, I turned around, went back through my room to the bathroom (priorities, mind you), then, feeling much better, went off again to find Trixie.

The guards nodded to me and allowed me to knock on the double doors with the engraved sun motif. On the fourth set of knocks, I heard “go away!” on the other side.

I started tapping a tune on the door, whispering, “shave-and-a-hair-cut…”

Now I heard “Go away, Park Bells!”

After only three more different jingles (I filed away the “Wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper, too?” one as being the most annoying and therefore effective), the Rumpled and Cranky Trixie opened the door, wearing a sheer nightgown so large it must have been owned by the room’s previous resident. She looked at me blearily. “What is so important that you need to awaken the Great and … and…” She yawned. “…Sleepy Trixie and could not wait until morning?”

“Trixie! I had this weird dream about you and I!”

She gave me a skeptical look. Disappointment virtually dripping off of her next words. “Oh. Trixie has heard that one before.”

I shook my head. “No! Not like that! Celestia and Luna were in it, too!”

She blinked once. “Trixie has heard that one, also.”

“Look! It was not like a normal dream. I need to go over it with you before I forget all the details. It might be important! Maybe our first clue!”

She gave me a mistrustful look that lasted for some time. She glanced up and waved off the guards who were looming their shadows over me. She turned around. “Very well. The Patient and Forgiving Princess of All Equestria will listen to your rantings. Give us a moment to restore our beauty.”

When she emerged from the Royal Water Closet, she looked exactly as she had previously. I knew better than to point this out, though. She sat across from me on cushions in the center of the room. I gave her the Cliff Notes version and awaited her reaction.

She frowned, looking at the floor as she mulled over my words. “Trixie is sorry for almost turning you away and doubting your intentions. You were not, in fact, overcome with passion for our Royal Form as we had suspected.”

I knew a trap when I heard it, so I just kept silent.

She smirked a bit and looked up at me, then her face took a more serious expression. She tapped the floor with a forehoof as she thought. “Was there anything in your dream that was new information? Something we can independently verify that you did not already know before you went to sleep? Perhaps the Royal Sisters’ form and voices or that their mother was named Faust?”

I shook my head. “Those were part of Twilight Sparkle’s ‘What Every Alien Creature Needs to Know About Equestria’ audio-visual presentation.” I paused. “Did you know that the title slide had ‘Version 12.1’ on it? How many times has she given it?”

Trixie nodded. “You are doubtless the first. I have always known the Princess of Friendship to be… over-prepared.”

“More like O-C-D,” I mumbled.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.” I scowled. “Nothing new in the details from my world either. Does time magic look like the magic that is used to fix a broken window pane?”

“Ah, you have seen Rainbow Dash’s dramatic entrances, then. Yes, the appearance is the same. What about the trophy. Have you seen it previously?”

I nodded. “Last year’s contest was televised.”

“I will take that as a yes.”

We lapsed into silence that stretched out for some time.

The unicorn sighed. “Well, we still have work tomorrow, so let’s get some sleep...” She glared at me. “…in our own beds.”

I raised two hooves defensively. “No argument!”

She blinked and seemed to regard me for a moment before nodding to the door. When I was in the hallway, she spoke once more. “The behavior of Luna at the end of your dream is the greatest anomaly. She is the Alicorn of the Night and the Keeper of Dreams. Did she tell you anything that could have a second meaning?”

I thought back and shook my head.

“And what did she say to me?”

I shivered and started slowly backing away, alarm bells going off in my head. “Ahhh, nothing that I can remember—”

The mare held up a hoof and closed her eyes. “Luna’s ways are secretive and circumspect. If there is any chance we can gather a hidden message from her words, we owe it to them to try.”

I shuffled in place a bit. “Well, she said you had filled out during the time you were ruling Equestria and that you shouldn’t make a big deal out of nothing.”

I was on the receiving end of a very focused stare. I smiled sheepishly. Her horn lit up—

From the floor, curled up in a ball, I groaned. Yep. Any doubt getting hit there felt different when I was a stallion was gone now. The amused snorts, brief as they were, from the two guards were not helping.

I heard the offender’s voice from her doorway. “And that, Lark Dwells, is what we call in show business ‘the punchline.’ I hope to have imparted to you the wisdom on when to tell a mare the truth and when to use your fool head.”

I heard the door close followed by steps approaching me. One of the guards used his foreleg to help me to my hooves. I grimaced (closest I could get to a smile in the circumstances) in appreciation and he nodded, returning to his post.

The next morning, I limped into Trixie’s Sun Room, where she was already starting on pastries and coffee. Wincing with each step, I made a show of just barely reaching the chair across from her before collapsing. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please. Such acting would get you thrown off the stage, even in the cheapest venues.”

I raised my voice a couple of octaves in my best falsetto. “It’s all your fault. I’m a permanently changed stallion now!”

The unicorn nearly had coffee shoot out her nose. Instead, she brought a hoof up to her mouth and coughed while fighting back a smile. After a bit, she cleared her throat and looked up. “Almost humorous, but no more convincing than before.” Her tone of voice told a different story.

I resumed my normal speech. “Ah, well. Just trying to garner a bit of sympathy.”

She smirked. “Fortunately, I had mine surgically removed with my tonsils. Eat up. We have a big day ahead of us.”

‘We?’ I thought. She didn’t care to elaborate. I decided she would clarify in good time and besides, I was not in the mood to play her mind games this morning.

After some apple juice and a fantastic eclair, I spoke up. “I had one more thought about last night.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow at me. “Really, Bark Swells? I didn’t realize you were ‘into’ that kind of treatment. I can recommend some professional mares who can satisfy your cravings for—”

I broke in. “OK, I won’t tell you then.”

We sipped our drinks for several seconds before she gave in with a lazy wave of her hoof, inviting me to continue.

“Have you ever heard of Information Theory?”

I saw her ‘game face’ take over. She was fully engaged in the conversation now. “No. Explain.”

I leaned forward. “The basic principle is that information has an exact equivalent in energy. For example, if someone is talking to you face-to-face, they can impart a certain amount of information over a given time. Now imagine they are a football… uh… a city block away. They would have to either put in much more energy or settle for slower delivery of information.”

She nodded. “I’m with you so far.”

“Now imagine someone on one of the stars in the sky. How slow would they have to talk to be comprehensible?”

The unicorn frowned at me. “The location of the stars that Luna moves in and out of constellations is her domain. I do not rightly know exactly how far away they are.”

I tried to wrap my brain around that one and just failed utterly. Maybe something else? “How about the moon?”

Her expression brightened. “Ah! Yes, it would be exceedingly hard to understand even a single word spoken over a large stretch of time, or would require as much power as the Two Sisters could summon together.”

“Now how much information could be sent from a universe away?”

She looked downwards, lost in thought. “I see. They might be able to make a connection but not be able to send a single word or even a thought.” She looked up. “That both gives us hope and takes it away. Perhaps Luna did contact you, but it would be unreasonable to think she could do more than make the lightest impression on your primitive mind.”

For the sake of the team, I decided to let that one go. “Exactly.”

The blue unicorn narrowed her eyes in thought until she smirked and looked at me. “You should have realized it was a dream as soon as you found yourself galloping, and faster than myself.”

I nodded and returned the grin. “And especially when you were so thoughtful as to levitate me down those steps and protect me from the flying glass with your shield.”

She looked away and did that rapid swiveling of the ears thing again. After a bit, she got them under her control.

Trixie drummed her hoof on the marble tabletop for a few more moments, then stood up. “Very well. Continue to inform me of any similar dreams, regardless of the hour. Trixie promises not to castrate you in a similar manner.”

I winced and covered myself unconsciously. “Don’t you mean ‘castigate’?”

She looked at me with a furrowed brow. “Don’t they mean the same thing?”

I shook my head. “ ‘Castrate’ means to turn a stallion into a gelding.”

She whispered the words for a few moments before her eyes flew open wide. “Oh! Sorry! Trixie apologizes for implying… um… that.” She turned away with a blush. She coughed a couple of times then regained her composure. “No. That punishment was possibly the first thing outlawed by the Sisters when they took power. Trixie got the words mixed up because those two words you just said are just… not used anymore.”

“I don’t so much care whether the words are used, so much as whether the deeds are done!”

“Believe Trixie – she has no desire to do that to you.”

That was extremely reassuring. At least, I think so…

Today was one of those days when the schedules of both princesses overlapped. Twilight held court that morning, but due to the need to conference with Equestria’s government ministers, both she and Trixie would be spending the afternoon in discussions with them about some changes to the law. I turned up at the throne room about an hour before the end of Twilight’s Day Court session, but I just took a seat alongside some nobles who were attending. Some nodded politely to me while several studiously ignored me. I was fine by that – it helped sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

The petitioners were of the variety that Trixie and I had dealt with on a daily basis, and very little was different from the way we handled them. Raven Inkwell served to advise Twilight just as she had been doing for us, but that had been her day job long before Trixie had ascended to the throne. The purple alicorn had another advisor for the Night Court though. Even Raven needed some life of her own.

When Day Court was formally closed, Twilight wandered over to me when the throne room was cleared. “Come to spy on me?” she asked with a grin.

“The G&P just wants to keep you on your toes… er… hooves. That doesn’t translate too well. What the heck. Actually, seeing as I seem to be the unofficial moderator between you two, I thought I’d see how you handle things for a change.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow at me. “Oh? And how do you rate me?” she asked with a smirk.

I shrugged. “Different styles but same results. You both want the best for Equestria and its ponies, but you go about it in diverse ways.”

As we headed towards the dining room for lunch with Trixie, Twilight said, “Heh! Once upon a time, I would never have thought that she and I would think so much in parallel. I’m glad that I brought her to Celestia and asked her to teach Trixie, although I never foresaw anything like this happening.”

“Life tends to throw you unexpected twists. I never expected to be advising two pony princesses. For that matter, I never expected to be a pony!”

“And you neatly one-upped me,” Twilight admitted. “I’m still working on trying to restore the portal mirrors, you know?”

I nodded. “I’m not expecting miracles, Twilight. I’ve just been a bit homesick lately.”

“Understandable, but I hope we’ve been making things bearable for you?”

I chuckled. “Between Trixie, you, and your friends, I rarely get the chance to wallow in self-pity. After all, I got myself a good job in a palace with a new best friend for a valet, chef-prepared meals, and a palace suite that rivals a five-star hotel. I’m hardly suffering.”

“Even that doesn’t compensate for being parted from your friends and famileeeeeeek!”

I skidded to a halt and looked back to where Twilight was and gaped. A huge thorny black vine had snared the purple alicorn, wrapping around her barrel and dragging her away. Her horn flared and then fizzled, and despite her earth pony strength, she failed to break its hold. I broke out of my stupor and charged to her assistance. I managed to stop the vine’s progress by grabbing under the base of one wing on her back and hooking the other foreleg under a shoulder. Just when I thought I could feel her start to slip out of the vine’s hold, a second vine swatted me and tore her out of my grasp. I heard something bounce along the hallway as I raised my head, only to see more vines bar my way. Even as I struggled to get past the impediments, Twilight was dragged out of my sight, leaving only a few feathers behind indicating that she was ever there. I heard another scream, this time from the direction that we had been heading. Trixie!

I stopped trying to fight the vines and charged up the corridor to the dining room, passing Twilight’s tiara along the way. There I witnessed another vine had ensnared the unicorn mare, mostly by her wings. She, too, was attempting to use her magic to free herself but with as little success as Twilight.

Trixie spotted me and yelled, “Help Trixie, Dark Smells!”

I leaped to her side and tried to unfasten her artificial wings, figuring that it would be the best way to free her. The notice-me-not spell on the harness that served to make the fake wings seem a natural part of the blue unicorn made it difficult, and the vine had started dragging her away like Twilight. Mostly by touch, I managed to undo the buckles, and Trixie wrenched her hind legs free. If a vine could seem confused, this one was, but it coiled possessively around the wings and dragged them away without the mare attached. I stopped to help Trixie up and by the time I turned my attention back to the offending intruder, it was gone. I dashed back out of the dining room but did not see anything, so I went back to Trixie.

“What in heaven’s name was that?” I demanded.

“Trixie has no idea whatsoever, Hark Bells. She is just grateful that that your attempts to free her were successful. Those were Trixie’s favorite pair of wings though!”

“Never mind the wings – Twilight was taken by those vines too!”

“No!” she gasped. “Where did those vines come from?”

I gaped at her in horror. “You don’t know anything about them?”

Silently, Trixie shook her head.

Oh, buck. If the locals didn’t know anything about those vines, what the hell could I do for Twilight?

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Yes, we're going to be following show canon events with an alternative universe twist. Stick around for the ride!

Art by Kraden which I got as a convention sketch at Alicon 2018 in Adelaide, Australia.

Chapter 17 - Elemental Magic

When in doubt, act. Standing around like a stunned mullet was not going to help anyone. “Come with me,” I told Trixie and hastened in the direction that the vines had taken Twilight. Almost immediately, we came across the purple alicorn’s tiara and I picked it up. It held her Element of Magic and I had a feeling that we might be needing it. To keep it safe and my leg free, I put it on my head and continued onward.

Trixie snickered. “It suits you well, Princess Dumbbells.”

I frowned at her. “Not the time for this, Trixie.” We came to a spot where a couple of purple feathers lay on the floor. I picked them up and waved them in Trixie’s face. “Twilight lost these while struggling with one of those black vines. If an alicorn can’t stop them, then they’re a real threat. You just got lucky.”

Trixie’s smile faded and she nodded. “Sorry. Trixie is just a bit shaken still.”

“Understandable,” I conceded. I looked ahead and saw no sign of the vines anymore. I tucked the feathers into my mane and trotted down the hall to the throne room where I found a couple of the Royal Guards standing around a large hole in the floor surrounded by marble rubble. As I approached, a pegasus emerged and joined them. They faced us and saluted.

“Report!” I ordered.

“Sir!” the pegasus replied. “Enormous black spiky vines were seen to withdraw into this hole with Princess Twilight Sparkle in their grasp. I attempted to pursue but the tunnel has collapsed.”

“Damn! I suppose none of you has ever seen those vines before?”

They all shook their heads.

“Maybe the Guild of Mages can give us some answers?” Trixie suggested.

“Good idea. Let’s—” I was interrupted by a burst of dragonfire that materialized into a scroll. Trixie caught it in her glow and unrolled it.

The blue unicorn read, “Monstrous black vines are invading from the Everfree Forest and taking over Ponyville. Dragonfire letters to Twilight just bounce back to me. Send help! Spike.”

My face creased with a mixture of fear and worry. “Sounds like the situation is even worse than we thought. At least we have a lead now. I’m going to head off to Ponyville immediately.”

“Trixie will organize the Royal Chariot.”

“That’ll take too long. I’m going to fly there now.”

Trixie gaped at me. “You still haven’t learned to control your flight magic properly!”

“I’ve been getting better, and as long as I hold a steady course and don’t try any fancy maneuvers, I should get there just fine. And besides, I haven’t tapped off my excess mana today, so I should have a turbo boost that will get me there a lot quicker.” As we spoke, I headed to a balcony that overlooked the countryside where Ponyville could just be seen in the distance.

“Are you crazy? Trixie doesn’t know what a turbo is, but she does know what happens when you use that excess magic!”

“It’s a risk I’m prepared to take.”

“Then Trixie will come with you.”

I was startled and I stopped to look at her. Trixie’s expression held a little fear but a lot of determination, and I knew that she wasn’t going to be dissuaded. “Okay, but I’ve never had a passenger before.”

“Learn fast!” was all she replied as she headed toward the rear of the throne. “Guard! Inform the Guild of Mages of what has happened here and in Ponyville. Have them let Trixie know if their research discovers anything useful about the vines or how to combat them.”

“At once, Your Highness!” The Royal Guard dashed away.

“What are you doing? We need to go!”

The mare returned carrying another set of her prosthetic wings. “Trixie cannot go without her symbols of royal authority,” she said even as her magic quickly buckled them into place.

I rolled my eyes but was thankful that she didn’t want to get her full royal regalia too. When we got to the balcony, I pointed myself in the direction of Ponyville and spread my wings. “Climb aboard and hang on tight!” Trixie obviously hadn’t ridden a pegasus before and her hooves poked me painfully a couple of times as she got into position. I grunted but held my tongue.

“Trixie is ready.”

“You better be!” I focused on everything that I had been taught – wing position and curvature, take off and cruising procedures, and last of all my flight magic. The latter was still pretty much an all-or-nothing situation for me, so it was with mental fingers crossed, I drew upon it. I shot off the balcony like a missile.

Trixie squealed in terror, and if she hadn’t been half-strangling me, I would have found it funny. As it was, the seriousness of the situation made me ignore both the humor and the pain. Amazingly, I settled down into a stable flight in the correct direction. I didn’t try to press my luck by optimizing anything, merely maintaining the power beat of my wings. Trixie released the death-grip on my neck but still clung ferociously as we hurtled toward Ponyville.

We were rapidly closing in on our destination and I could already make out the Golden Oaks library. Worryingly, I could also see the mass of black vines that were invading the town. Spike sure hadn’t been exaggerating. Worse yet, now there were bizarre spiky black clouds dotting the skies. Dodging them seemed a very good idea, but hardly my forte. I barely managed to scrape by some and if I hadn’t been going so fast, I might have been hit by the lightning they hurled at me. I aimed as best as I could for the library tree and it rapidly approached.

“Trixie thinks you should be slowing down about now,” I heard her say above the sound of the rushing wind and her flapping cape.

Good idea. One problem though. Just like the day when I accidentally set a new altitude record, my flight magic seemed to be stuck on. Our destination approached at a breathtaking speed and then I saw the flash and heard the bang of teleportation. My load was suddenly gone just before I reached the tree. I desperately tried to flare my wings, but a moment later, I splatted against an upper round window. As I slid off the window with a squeak, all I could think was that they made mighty tough glass in Equestria.

I felt hooves grab me under my forelegs and heard Rainbow Dash’s voice behind me as she gently lowered me to the ground. “Yeah, Twilight got tired of me waking her up by smashing through her bedroom window. She enchanted it so I can’t do that anymore. Next time, choose one of the windows downstairs for your dramatic entrance, though it won’t be as awesome as mine!”

As I lay dizzily at the base of the tree, Applejack emerged from it and helped Rainbow Dash get me to my hooves. As they guided me inside, Applejack said, “Ah’m sure glad yer here, Mark. Mebbe you can figger out what’s goin’ on.”

I noticed that Applejack’s accent got stronger when she was stressed. Things had to be pretty bad. I saw that the rest of my friends were there and Trixie was safely inside too, sitting amidst a pile of books. I growled, “You couldn’t have teleported me in here too, could you?”

Trixie actually blushed. “Trixie is sorry, but she has never rehearsed such a trick before. Indeed, she has never managed to teleport before.”

“That was your first?” I asked incredulously.

The faux alicorn nodded. “Terror is a great motivator, apparently. I have you to thank for that, Embark Quells.”

Pinkie interrupted. “I don’t know if you have noticed, but the Everfree Forest is just a teeny-tiny bit out of control.” Her tail suddenly twitched and she ducked. A massive black vine shot through the window and right through the space she had been in a moment ago.

Applejack used her earth pony strength to cut the vine utilizing the window’s sliding frame.

Rarity said, “But perhaps you already know what’s causing all of this calamity? Has Princess Twilight sent you to dispel it post haste?”

I cringed. “Not exactly. You see, Twilight was kidnapped by those vines. Trixie was almost taken too.”

Everypony gasped dramatically.

“I don’t know exactly what’s happening, but I believe we’re going to need the Elements of Harmony to get Twilight back. I brought along hers.” I touched the tiara that was still on my head. A weird thing about pony manes is how they managed to hold things securely short of being knocked off physically like the vine had done to this. Or maybe I had inadvertently pulled it off along with a few of her feathers when the second vine smacked me away from her. I brought my attention back to the situation at hoof and addressed the other Elements. “You should grab yours too.”

Rarity used her magic to open the case where the necklaces of the other five Elements were kept, and she distributed them among her friends.

“Just like old times,” Rainbow Dash said as hers went into place.

Applejack said, “Ah reckon our connection with Twilight through the Elements will help us find her. Now we just have to figger out who to aim these bad boys at so we can get her back and keep the rest of Equestria from becoming plant food!” She paused, then looked at me. “Any ideas?”

“I haven’t found squat in any of the books that I’ve been looking through,” Pinkie exclaimed. “Oops! Missed a spot.” She grabbed a marker and proceeded to color in a picture.

I shook my head and turned back to the others. “Semi-sentient vines; bizarre aggressive clouds; chaos abounding – I’m starting to get an idea about who we might be up against. Anypony know how to find Discord?”

Fluttershy said, “I think we can summon him with the Elements. I mean, if he knows I really want to see him.”

“Okay, let’s give this a try. Umm… I suppose I’d better give Trixie the Element of Magic as she’s got a horn.”

Trixie looked pleased until Rarity spoke up. “Oh, no, darling – that’s not how it works. Twilight is the Princess of Friendship because the power of friendship is magic, and you’re our good friend, Mark. You must wear the Element.”

“Me?” I squeaked. “I’m just a defective pegasus!”

“No, Rarity has the right of it,” Applejack insisted. “You have what it takes to make it work.”

Rainbow added, “And you’re awesome too. If anyone can do it with us, it’s you.”

Trixie sighed. “Trixie is forced to agree with their logic, Embark Farewells. Trixie expects you to try your hardest.”

I shrugged helplessly. Who was I to argue? I was only talking to some of Equestria’s greatest heroes... and Trixie. They might know a thing or two more about this crazy pony magic than me. “Okay. Let’s try this.”

We all trotted outside at Fluttershy’s suggestion, and I concurred. Heaven knows what would happen when flinging around enough magic to summon a chaos god… if it even worked.

“Okay, how are we going to do this?” I asked as we arranged ourselves in a circle.

“We just concentrate on the traits that make us the Bearers of the Elements,” Rarity explained. “I suggest that you concentrate on our friendship.”

“If you say so.” I closed my eyes and thought of all the enjoyment that we six had while together. At first, nothing happened, but then I felt myself starting to rise even though I wasn’t using my flight magic. I peeked through one eye and saw the other Element Bearers enveloped in a glow and rising into the air also. Then a rainbow ribbon of light emitted from their necklaces and joined together. Then they merged with mine and I felt the inexplicable magic of Harmony flood within me. It was both wondrous and overwhelming. Despite the distraction, I managed to focus on the goal of summoning Discord, and the rainbow magic twisted into a whirlwind of color. When it dispersed, a bathtub was on the ground between us, with a draconequus in it, scrubbing himself and singing.

“Winter wrap-up, winter wrap-ooh! Oho! Now isn’t this interesting? Are you the new Princess of Friendship, Mark Wells? You could have been more considerate – if you hadn’t noticed, I was in the middle of a particularly invigorating shower.”

The way he toweled his butt at me was less than appealing. “Enough! What do you know about the kidnapping of Twilight Sparkle and the invasion by the Everfree Forest?” I demanded as I advanced sternly upon him.

A vine suddenly burst up out of the ground and coiled about me before transforming into Discord. “Why, whatever are you talking about?” he asked with a grin.

“Don’t you play dumb with us, Discord. We know that you’re the one behind all of this.”

The draconequus disappeared and popped up again on the roof of a house. “Don’t get me wrong – I absolutely l-o-v-e what you’ve done with the place.” He snaked through the air until he was next to a hovering Fluttershy. “But I couldn’t possibly take responsibility. I’m reformed; don’t you remember?” he asked, giving Fluttershy a nudge.

“Yeah, right!” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically. “This has got your cloven hoofprints all over it!”

“I’ll have you know that I have only one cloven hoof,” Discord replied in an offended tone. Said hoof and the disembodied leg it belonged to, gave the colorful pegasus a kick in the rear.

With his leg magically reattached, Discord walked away in a huff. “Such accusations! And here I thought we were friends.” He turned and gave us doe-eyes.

“Drop the act, buster!” Pinkie said. “We’re onto you.”

“Ladies! Ladies and lady-proxy! I’m innocent! Would I lie to you?”

“YES!” we all chorused except Fluttershy who added, “Um… maybe.”

“Well then, it seems we’ve reached an impasse. I’m telling the truth, but you think I’m lying. What do friends like us do in a situation like this, Princess Mark?” Discord asked as he poked at the Element that was still on my head. “Congrats on the promotion, by the way – you totally deserve it,” he said snarkily, then his look turned thoughtful.

“Although, I must say, you don’t quite look the part. Allow me to help!”

He snapped his fingers and everything went white for a moment. I blinked and saw a purple horn in the top of my field of view along with blue hair with a two-tone purple stripe. Looking back, I saw the first dress that Twilight had worn to the Alicorn Challenge. The same coloration on my tail and purple wings removed any doubt about my current form.

Discord clasped his hands together and beamed. “Oh, congratulations, Your Highness! Now your coronation can proceed as it was always meant to. Equestria is so lucky to no longer be short an alicorn.” He blinked and held an apologetic paw out to Trixie. “No offense intended.”

Trixie frown deepened. “Offense taken.”

Discord wasn’t wrong. I perceived what must have been unicorn magic running through my horn, and I could feel an uncanny connection to the ground beneath me. “I have to say…” I said in Twilight’s voice as I turned to face the draconequus again. “…been there, done that, taken the photos.” I tried to put on my most disappointed expression. “Frankly, I expected a self-styled Lord of Chaos to be more… original.”

He frowned at me for several seconds before snapping his fingers. The world went white again and everything felt normal.

I turned my back on Discord. “He’s useless. Who else can we turn to for help?” I was hoping the trickster would feel a need to prove me wrong, but instead, Applejack spoke up.

“Well, Zecora knows more about the Everfree than anypony.”

Rainbow Dash flapped upwards and craned her neck. She pointed. “Speaking of the zebra, there she is!”

Turning to look, I saw where the being in question was emerging from the forest with a huge sack on her back and pulling a cart full of what had to be all her worldly possessions. She seemed to be straining under the load, and she came to a tired stop nearby.

“Zecora!” I called out, rushing up to help her along with my friends and Trixie who had decided it was safe to join us now. The mare used her magic to relieve the zebra of her burden which Rainbow and Fluttershy took away while Applejack and Pinkie unhitched the cart.

“From my home, I’ve had to flee. The forest has grown too wild even for me,” Zecora said.

“Any idea why this is happenin’?” Applejack asked.

“I’m afraid it is a mystery to me as well. But, I may have something that may if combined with a spell.” Zecora rummaged around in her cart and pulled out a glass flask with a gold base and neck. “I do not dare to use it myself – the result would be tragic. It only responds to alicorn magic. Where is Princess Twilight? She can turn the potion from purple to white. Then after a sip, she may speak the answers that we all seek.”

“You just missed Twilight. Her timing is awful!” Rainbow Dash said as she gave me a glare.

I ignored the pegasus. I had no intention of begging Discord to change me into Twilight again unless it was absolutely necessary. “Then we have a real problem,” I said to Zecora. “Twilight has been captured by the vines.”

“Will I do in her place?” Trixie asked hopefully, unfolding her wings.

Zecora shook her head. “The spell of this mystic brew will only respond to alicorn magic true.”

“Perhaps we can get Cadance?” Rarity suggested.

“It would take far too long for her to get here,” I replied. I thought hard and something occurred to me. “Zecora – you said the potion responds to alicorn magic. What would happen if I combine it with these?” I pulled out the feathers that I had placed in my mane earlier and forgotten about. “They’re Twilight’s.”

The zebra examined them and shrugged. “Who can tell? Stir it well!” She passed the flask to me.

I dropped the feathers into the liquid and started stirring. At first, I thought that we were out of luck, but then the potion started getting paler. I renewed my efforts and then it abruptly turned white.

“It worked!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Who gets to try it?” I asked.

Zecora said, “The potion responded to you and your will. Take a drink but do not spill.”

“Me?!” I looked around and all my friends were nodding in agreement. Even Trixie seemed to glumly concur. I looked at the milky liquid and wondered what I was in for. “Oh, what the buck…” I lifted the beaker and took a few swallows. Of course, it tasted weird, but nothing happened. “Doesn’t seem to be working—” My vision exploded.

When my sight cleared, I found myself in a strange building, another castle, I believed. There were two thrones with matching banners – one in blue and the other in gold. Then I heard a voice.

“Not another step!”

An alicorn emerged from behind the thrones, one whom I recognized immediately. “Princess Luna!” Had I been somehow transported to where the sisters were stuck? “Where are we? Why did you and Princess Celestia disappear through the portal?”

“Did you expect me to stand idly by while they all basked in your precious light?”

I blinked at the non sequitur. “What the hell are you talking about?”

She walked over to a small balcony, saying, “There can only be one Princess of Equestria, and that Princess will be me!” She reared up and smashed the balcony wall, glaring angrily.

I cringed and watched in horror as cracks spread up the wall and a portion broke away to reveal the sun. Then Luna lifted her hooves and the moon rose to block its light. Shadows started to swirl and a wind arose. The darkness enveloped Luna, and in the moment before it had subsumed her, I saw the doubt and fear in her eyes. Dark magic englobed her and then exploded, revealing a black-coated alicorn with slit eyes in Luna’s place. She started laughing madly, revealing razor-sharp teeth. Suddenly I knew who I was facing from the stories I had been told. Nightmare Moon! Had I at last found the source of our troubles? And how had this happened to Luna?

Nightmare Moon started destroying the castle with blasts from her horn. I dodged the rubble just as a white alicorn walked up beside me. Princess Celestia looked sternly at Nightmare Moon who approached her with a scowl. The rogue alicorn fired a blast at Celestia who rose up to the ceiling to avoid it. A follow-up blast destroyed a section of the roof but again the white alicorn moved out of harm’s way.

“Luna! I will not fight you. You must lower the moon. It is your duty!” Celestia exclaimed.

“Luna? I am Nightmare Moon!”

Wait. How could Celestia not recognize her?

“I have but one royal duty now – to destroy you!” The Nightmare fired another blast at Celestia, but she had taken off through the hole in the roof.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Nightmare Moon asked as she pursued her sister.

Without thinking, I took off and followed, only to witness a major aerial battle. However, it was Nightmare Moon doing all the attacking while Celestia merely dodged her horn blasts. The castle was being torn apart, but that meant nothing to the mad alicorn. Finally, one of the blasts found its mark and Celestia fell with a cry back into the throne room. Nightmare laughed in triumph as I flew down to check on the white alicorn who lay on the floor, injured from the blow.

By now though, I knew something was screwy. Neither had acknowledged my presence, Celestia’s ignorance of Nightmare Moon was telling, and I was flying way too well. As Celestia began to rise again, still not seeing me right in front of her, I realized that this must be some sort of vision caused by the potion that I had drunk. Whatever it was, it was far more immersive and realistic than the best virtual reality that I’d ever experienced. I couldn’t interact with it though, so I could only wait and see how it turned out.

Celestia said, “Oh, dear sister, I am sorry, but you have given me no choice but to use these.” Her horn lit up and the floor opened to allow a pedestal to arise from the depths. It had five arms upon which rested large gems of different colors. She summoned them to her, and then a sixth gem emerged from the sphere atop the pedestal. It was identical in shape and color to the one that now adorned the tiara that I was still wearing. They started to spin about the alicorn and surrounded her with a rainbow of light.

Those had to be the Elements of Harmony as they had been in the past. Even in a vision, I could feel their power. Then Celestia rose back into the sky to confront Nightmare Moon. They faced off against each other and the dark alicorn fired off a massive bolt of magic at Celestia who met it with a combined beam of her own magic and that of the Elements. At first, it seemed stalemated, but then the harmony beam started pushing back the dark magic. As it reached Nightmare Moon, it surrounded her as she screamed, “NO-O-O-O-o-o-o!” Then it blasted off in a beam of light toward the moon where it impacted in a rainbow burst. The silhouette of a dark alicorn appeared on the satellite, completing what I knew of the tale of Nightmare Moon’s banishment.

Suddenly, I was back in Ponyville, with my friends giving me puzzled looks. “Why are you all staring at me like that?”

Applejack replied, “It’s just that… you were mumbling to yourself…”

“And don’t forget all the ‘What the bucks’ you kept exclaiming,” Pinkie brightly added.

“We were really worried about you,” Fluttershy said.

“I, for one, found it dee-lightful,” said Discord who was lounging on a nearby vine. “Sort of a one-pony theatre piece, if you will. You should really consider taking it on the road.” He unrolled a theater banner that showed me gaping like a fool and cringing and cursing. How the hell did he know what I had experienced?

“Did you find out whose rump we need to kick and where we can find them?” Rainbow asked, putting words into action.

“I saw a vision of when Celestia banished Nightmare Moon, but it doesn’t explain what’s happening now.” I lowered my head in thought. “Since the Royal Sisters aren’t here, maybe the vision was saying the Elements of Harmony are relevant to our current problem?” I shrugged. “That’s my best guess.”

Zecora stepped up to me and said, “Perhaps farther back still are the answers you seek. Another sip of the potion will give you a peek.” She hoofed over the beaker to me.

“You sure about this?” Spike asked.

I shrugged. It obviously hadn’t hurt me the first time, and so far I had no better ideas. I drank another couple of gulps of the potion.

Discord suddenly appeared dressed in an old-fashioned movie director’s outfit, along with a motion-picture camera on a tripod to record the event. “Oh, I do hope he breaks into a song this time!”

My sight exploded once more.

The first thing that I saw was a school of fish swimming through the air. Looking around, I saw that the ground was now a surreal checkerboard. Plants were distorted and houses floated in midair on chunks of earth. But it was the two alicorns who caught my attention. Celestia and Luna were deliberately walking towards a tall throne that faced away from us on top of a nearby hill. Both looked worse for wear, but they wore fancy saddlebags. They stopped to glare at the occupant of the throne – Discord!

“Oh, ho-ho! This is so much fun!” the draconequus exclaimed as he faced the alicorns. How about a game of pin the tail on the pony?” He held up a familiar pastel-streaked item.

Celestia gasped and flared her wings before looking around to see that her tail was missing. Then she frowned and said, “Playtime is over for you, Discord.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” he replied as he munched upon a bag of something that he held in his right paw. “Mmm! Hungry?” He threw what looked like dark-colored beans at them, but they ignored him and the beans bounced off their faces.

“Suit yourself.”

Celestia and Luna’s horns lit up, and out of the saddlebags rose the six mystic crystals. They hovered in front of the alicorns as Discord leaned forward to take a closer look.

“Hmm – what have you got there?”

“The Elements of Harmony!” Celestia replied.

“With them, we shall defeat you!” declared Luna.

Discord practically fell over laughing. “Ha ha ho hee hee! You should see yourselves right now. The expressions on your faces – so intense. So sure of yourselves! A-ha-haa!”

Luna and Celestia crossed their horns and a stream of rainbow light burst forth. It streaked towards the draconequus even as he exclaimed, “Hilarious!” Then the beam struck and froze in a stone pose that was destined to last centuries.

The vision abruptly changed and I was elsewhere. It appeared to be a cave, but I was transfixed by the sight of the magnificent glowing crystal tree in front of me. Five familiar gems resided in pods on the branches, and the star-shape of the Element of Magic was at its heart. Even what I believed to be Celestia and Luna’s cutie marks were on its trunk. The alicorns in question approached the tree just then.

Luna gasped and said, “The Tree of Harmony!”

There’s a tree of Harmony now? This was getting weird. I looked around and saw a wide entrance to the cave that appeared to exit out into the bottom of a ravine. I turned back to see Celestia rise to shoot a beam at the symbol of Magic.

Luna asked, “Are you sure?”

Her sister replied, “We have managed to discover the only means by which we can defeat Discord and free the citizens of Equestria. Even without these Elements, the tree will possess a powerful magic.” All six Elements were released from the tree and hovered around them. “As long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here.”

Then the view flared once more and I was back in Ponyville.

“So – what didja find out?” Spike asked eagerly.

“I’m not sure. This time I saw something called ‘The Tree of Harmony,’ which is where Celestia and Luna got the Elements. I also saw them turn Discord to stone.”

The Chaos Lord waved a paw dismissively, scattering popcorn everywhere. He reached into his bag of popcorn until his entire arm was inside. He pulled it out and glared at his empty hand. He then tipped the bag above his head and a large number of uncooked kernels poured into his mouth. Immediately after closing his lips, I heard the unmistakable sound of popcorn popping.

I frowned. Still hanging around with all of us as his entertainment? Fine. Time to turn up the pressure. “I think the vision meant we are supposed to turn him to stone again.”

His eyes went wide and melted butter shot out his nose as he swallowed then coughed. He stared at me for a moment then slapped both hands over his chest. A red, heart-shaped cartoon flew out his back and bounced away. “My heart!” he cried.

“Ummm…” began Fluttershy, a hesitant look on her face.

“I’ll second that!” said Rainbow Dash.

I continued. “I mean, what harm could it be? We can always turn him back, right?”

“Ummm…” said Fluttershy again.

Discord appeared directly in front of me. His head was now that of a white rooster, and both wings were draconic-looking and a shade of blue-grey. “Alright, buster. I think I’ve had enough of your chest-pounding in front of the mares. Maybe you don’t need to go on this little adventure after all.”

I felt my back legs begin to go numb. Looking back quickly, I saw they were turning to stone.

The rest of the mares and Spike covered their eyes, but Fluttershy flew right up next to us. “Discord, stop it! Mark, I promised Discord I would not turn him to stone. I’m not going to break that promise. So Discord, just stop.”

I turned to look back at the angry godlike creature in front of me. My hindquarters were numb now. I must have really pissed him off because he wasn’t listening to the yellow Pegasus at all. “You see there, human? That’s what friendship is all about. You could have learned a lot from these mares.” OK, selective hearing, maybe.

Fluttershy frowned and glared at the draconequus. “Discord! You’ve made your point. Change him back. Now!”

I narrowed my eyes and started thinking very quickly. As my chest went numb, I said, “I’d be glad to be petrified if it helped a friend. Friendship is when you think of someone else’s welfare above your own, wouldn’t you agree?”

Discord’s demeanor changed to resembling a professor beaming at his prized student. “Indeed! Now you’re getting it!”

I gave him a flat smile. “What’s wrong, Discord? Isn’t Twilight your friend?”

He froze in place and his eyebrows shot upwards, leaving his face entirely. At the same time, the numbness stopped at the base of my neck. Discord glanced at Fluttershy and I did as well. She was looking at him expectantly, her head tilted a bit.

After a few seconds, he blinked. With a snap of his fingers, I felt my body return to normal as his body returned to its original form.

I couldn’t help but let out a relieved sigh.

Discord frowned. “I know when I’m not wanted.” He turned into a white vine with balls sticking out of it instead of spikes. He shot into the air instead of the ground then disappeared.

With the source of the threat gone, my back legs started shaking uncontrollably. Trixie reached me first. She punched me in the shoulder with a hoof. “That was so stupid!” She then proceeded to hug me. “However, Trixie is glad you are safe.”

Applejack came up next. “Ah think there’s somethin’ seriously wrong inside yer skull, Mark. Why in tarnation did ya go pick a fight with him? And yeah, Ah know you were needlin’ him on purpose.”

Fluttershy came up to me. “I don’t know what got into him today. I’ve never seen him so aggressive before. I’ll have a long talk with him later about the proper way to behave around ponies, I assure you.” Her expression softened. “I know it may not look like it, Mark, but he really has reformed. Discord wouldn’t cause anypony permanent harm.”

I held onto Trixie while my heart slowed down. I was glad for the support because otherwise I probably would have fallen over. After several seconds and many deep breaths, the panic subsided to the point I could speak again. “Discord is pretty much omniscient and maybe even omnipotent here in Equestria. I did get him to admit that he expects us to go on some sort of adventure. For whatever reason, he wants us to team up to save Twilight.”

Rainbow Dash flew up, smiling. “Just the kind of hare-brained stunt I’ve come to expect from you, Mark.” She held out a forehoof. With a final pat on Trixie’s back, I separated myself from her and clopped my forehoof against Rainbow’s.

Rarity said, “I hope you are feeling well enough to continue, darling. I also recommend you not go around insulting demigods. There’s no future in it. However, I must ask: what was it that Discord said about chest-pounding?”

“Ah. Humans share a common ancestor with apes. One of these is the gorilla, who establishes dominance over other males for the females in the troop by a show of force, including pounding his chest.”

All the mares gave me amused looks. Zecora had a hoof over her mouth and I heard her snort. I was surrounded by smirks and raised eyebrows. I started to sweat. “Look, I can’t help it if Discord decides to see things that way!”

Pinkie Pie was the exception to the Skeptical Contingent. She came up and gave me a hug. “Then he’s just plumb crazy. You spend more time with us as a mare than as a stallion.”

I blinked. “I… hadn’t thought of it that way.”

Apparently, the party pony’s observation distracted the rest of the mares as well. I took advantage before the topic of my stallionhood could be brought back up again. “So, I’m thinking this ‘Tree of Harmony’ is in the Everfree somewhere. I saw a large cave at the bottom of a ravine. Zecora, do you know of such a place?”

The zebra shook her head. “I cannot be of service. I know of no such crevice. The forest’s center you must inspect. There you will find it, I suspect.”

I looked around. “Is everyone ready to go in after Twilight?”

Zecora shook her head sadly. “The forest will tolerate me no longer. But if all the Elements go, you will be stronger.”

“Well, alright then!” Applejack exclaimed. “Let’s go save the… tree. Uh – where is it exactly?”

I grimaced and pointed at the Everfree with my hoof. “Exactly? I don’t know.”

We approached the hostile forest with some trepidation.

“Seems like it was only yesterday we were heading into these woods to find the Elements of Harmony,” Rarity said.

“Was it always this creepy?” Trixie asked.

Applejack replied, “Well, it were in the dark that time with only moonlight to show the way.”

Trixie shivered. “At least the plants weren’t trying to abduct you then.”

“If’n yer feeling scared, you can leave it to us, Princess Trixie,” the apple mare replied. “This is kinda our job anyhow.”

Trixie sniffed haughtily. “Are you saying that the Great and Courageous Princess Trixie cannot deal with the same dangers as her subjects?”

Applejack was taken aback somewhat, but she persisted. “It’s just that if something happens to Twilight, Equestria will need its Princess.”

I added, “Those vines could come after you again. I’d feel a lot better if you stay safe back here.”

Trixie frowned. “Do you all really feel that way?”

Everyone nodded, some more reluctantly than others, but I was glad that they supported Applejack and me. I reckoned I’d have enough to worry about without having to watch over Trixie too.

“Very well. Trixie will help the citizens of Ponyville while you risk your lives. Don’t get yourself killed, Hallmark Farewells.”

“By your command, Princess,” I replied, then turned to the others. “Let’s go!”

In spite of my urging, my friends seemed inclined to maintain a walking pace. Even Rainbow Dash was keeping to a low and slow hover above the group. It took a scolding from Rarity to restrain my sense of urgency.

“Mark, dear, trust us when we say that the Everfree Forest is dangerous enough even without the addition of those horrendous malignant vines. We must proceed with caution lest we encounter one of those perils.”

Polite and reasonable as ever, but her delivery made me aware of how pushy I was being in the face of the unknown. I resolved to restrain my impatience and be more alert for danger. This was not the time for ‘Crash’ Wells to screw up. Not long into our trek, that caution paid off.

Our party came to a stream, but there were stepping stones there to help us get over it. As I didn’t trust my wings in this situation, I decided to use the stones and started to cross. Then there was a roar and the steps beneath me moved.

“Cragadile!” someone yelled.

Heedless of the consequences, I took off into the air out of reach of the snapping jaws of a creature that looked like a cross between an alligator and a pile of rocks. I may have bounced off a branch or two, but I landed safely enough amidst the others. I started shouting orders.

“Pinkie! Distractions! Rarity! Use your magic to throw stuff in its face and slow it down! Applejack! Grab a vine and lasso its jaws. Rainbow and Fluttershy – fly behind it and grab more vines and ensnare its legs. Rarity – when the others have it restrained, wrap it in vines to render it harmless!”

To my relief, everyone acted without question. Pinkie pulled a party cannon from who knows where and shot confetti and streamers in the cragadile’s face. Rarity followed up with a shower of stones that caused it to flinch, giving Applejack enough time to break off a vine and make a lasso which she expertly looped around the beast’s snout. With those dangerous jaws and teeth out of the equation, we just had to prevent trauma by other physical attacks. The pegasi were on the job though. Surprisingly, Fluttershy was doing a better job of restraining the cragadile than Rainbow Dash, although in retrospect I realized that the animal carer might know a thing or two about dealing with injured and uncooperative patients. However, Dash was faster at getting the vines to restrain it, and between the two, the monster’s movements were severely restricted. Applejack was already breaking off more vines and Rarity was telekinetically whipping them into place as fast as they were supplied. Soon, the cragadile was rendered harmless.

“Good work, ladies,” I said.

“You ain’t done so bad yerself,” Applejack replied. “You kept yer head and gave directions like a pro.”

I chuckled. “Thanks. I may not be great with the physical stuff, but I usually think fast in an emergency. Anyway, we’ve lost enough time already. Shall we proceed? Cautiously, of course,” I added with a wink.

There were some laughs that relieved the tension before we headed off again.

I wish that the cragadile was the only peril that we faced while venturing through that crazy forest. A wolf made out of pieces of wood thought to make a snack out of us. Ironically, it was snared by several of the black vines and smashed into kindling. I was informed that timberwolves could regenerate though, so we didn’t hang around.

At one point, a manticore blocked our path. Before I could make a plan of attack, Fluttershy stepped forward and said, “Don’t worry – Manny is a friend of mine.”

My jaw dropped as the fierce creature bent over to rub its cheek against the butter yellow pegasus and purred. The quietest and most timid pony whom I had ever met was utterly at ease with this beast. Not to mention the bear and other carnivorous creatures that frequented her cottage. That was very impressive. And she had her eyes on me too? I quietly ranked her way above Rarity as a threat to my single status.

We continued onwards, exploring every possible likely path. Without a clue as to where the Tree of Harmony was located, we had to risk ourselves many times, but working as a team, we overcame all obstacles. However, we were almost undone by a thicket of black vines that came up with a new trick.

Several rose around us and flowers that resembled a cross between a Venus fly-trap and a spider started hissing at us. Then bursts of choking mist were sprayed in our direction. I gagged and coughed before managing to say, “Rainbow – wind gusts!”

“On it!” The multicolored pegasus whipped up a whirlwind that took away the noxious cloud. With the rest of us able to breathe again, we could take action.

“Duck and weave! Tie up these suckers!” I yelled.

I didn’t have to say any more. Each of the ponies used their strengths to tangle, knot, and otherwise restrain every single one of those vines, and soon we stood in the midst of squirming but helpless creepy vegetation.

“Anypony think we’re getting nowhere?” Rainbow Dash asked. “We’ve been at this for hours and got nothing but danger after danger.”

“I don’t know, Dash,” I replied. “Seems to me that these black vines have been getting more aggressive all of a sudden. Makes me think that we may be getting to the heart of the problem.”

“You make a good point, darling, but which direction is this heart?” Rarity asked. “I am quite turned around.”

I nodded. “Good thing we’re out in the open then. Dash – can you get some altitude and scout the way?”

“Aye, Captain!” Rainbow streaked upward and paused to look around. “The vines are thickest thataway!” she yelled down to us while pointing with a hoof.

“Okay, ladies – shall we?”

They all gave me confident grins and followed me as I took the lead. Forewarned about the vines’ latest trick, we were prepared to act whenever they threatened again. Soon we came to a deep ravine with a rickety rope and plank bridge across it. I could see the ruins of a castle on the other side, and I wondered who would be crazy enough to build inside this dangerous forest.

“Oh my! That’s the Castle of the Two Sisters! Do you think that’s our destination?”

Thank you for the convenient answer to my unspoken question, Rarity. I’d have to ask about that later. “No, it was in a cave in a ravine, remember?” I peered over the edge.

“How about there?” Applejack said, pointing to a spot further up the ravine.

I looked where she was indicating and saw the glow emitting from a cave that had caught her attention. “Good eyes, Applejack. That matches what I saw in the vision. Now, how do we all get down there? Those of us with wings can manage. Maybe Dash can lower the rest down? I don’t trust myself to carry anypony.”

Rainbow Dash smirked. “Anypony except the Great and Screaming-Like-A-Little-Filly Trixie like you did all the way to Ponyville.”

My ears folded onto my head. “Uh… yeah. I suppose I could try—”

“Whoa! Oof! Ow! Eep! Ugh! Oops!”

Pinkie’s voice drew our attention down and to the right where we found her sprawled on the floor of the ravine.

“Take the stairs, silly!”

I facehoofed. How did I miss those? I blame the distractions. As Rainbow Dash flew into the ravine, the rest of the mares took the stairs. I eyed them warily and weighed the odds of falling down them or doing a flying face-plant. Then I manned up, spread my wings, and glided to the bottom. I managed a creditable landing beside Rainbow and waited for the others to join us. We then all headed into the cave.

I immediately knew that we had found our goal, but the crystalline tree in front of us was a far cry from the brilliantly vibrant one that I had seen in my vision. It was dull and choked with the malignant vines that festooned the cave, and dripped with some sort of noxious slime. Two coils of the black tendrils lay at the base of the tree and I found myself wondering what they held.

“I think it’s dying!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

“So, let’s save it already!” Applejack said as she leapt into action. She grabbed a vine in her teeth and yanked, but it flicked her away.

“Nice try,” Rainbow Dash said before launching into a flying kick. However, a vine whipped out and sent her hurtling away to crash ignominiously on the floor of the cave.

“Nice try on both your parts,” Rarity said. “But the tree remains in jeopardy.”

“And I suppose you have a better idea?” Applejack snarked.

I recalled what I had learned during the vision of the Tree of Harmony and what Celestia had said about how its magic controlled and contained all that grew here. That magic obviously was almost completely drained, which meant that it was dying, just as Fluttershy had said. There was only one solution.

“I know what we have to do.” Everypony looked at me expectantly. “We have to give the Elements back to the Tree to save it.”

“Whoa! How are we supposed to protect Equestria without them?!” Rainbow protested.

“How are we supposed to rein Discord in, especially if we can’t use the Elements to turn him to stone?” Rarity asked.

I held up my forehooves to halt the protests. “Girls – you’re missing the big picture. If we don’t deal with this problem here and now, Twilight Sparkle may be lost to us and all of Equestria may fall. Now – are you ready to do the right thing?”

They shared a glance and nodded. They concentrated and suddenly their Elements detached from their necklaces. I did not expect them to make a beeline for me and begin orbiting the Magic Element in the tiara that I still wore. I did not have the experience with them as the others had, but I tried to emulate them. I focused on sending the star-shaped gem to join its companions. Much to my surprise, it worked, but it drew the attention of the vines and they whipped out to wrap around me and try to grab the Elements.

My mind raced. Why capture me if the Elements were the danger? Was it because I controlled the Magic Element that was created by the union of the five others through friendship? I had to give it a try. I willed the Elements to go to their places on the Tree, and much to my relief, they complied. They shot forward, dodging the grasping vines, and clicked into place in their respective pods. As the Magic Element settled in, they all started to glow brilliantly. Then the vines that were wrapped around the tree started disintegrating. Like fuse cords, they fizzled away, racing past us and out of the cave. I had the feeling that they weren’t going to stop until every vine was turned to dust. Meanwhile, the two thick coils at the base of the Tree also disintegrated, revealing Twilight Sparkle in one, and a pair of blue wings in the other.

Twilight and the mares spotted each other and raced together into a group hug. I stood back and admired the Tree of Harmony that was now restored to the same brilliance that I had seen in the vision. The Elements throbbed with life and I knew that Equestria was safe once more.

“Hey, Mark! What are you doing just standing there? Come over and join us!” Pinkie demanded.

As the others chorused agreement, I grinned and trotted over to join their embrace. It was good to have such great friends.

And I definitely did not cop a feel from Fluttershy. Don’t look at me like that.

As the hug broke up, Twilight noticed something missing from the necklaces and tiara. “What have you done to my Element?!”

Wordlessly, we pointed to the tree where they all now resided.

“We had to give them back to the Tree of Harmony to save you and Equestria.”

“Tree of Harmony?” the alicorn queried as she turned to look at it.

“Long story,” I replied just as the Tree throbbed with power.

We watched as colored streams of magic ran from the five Elements on the branches and into the Magic Element where they combined and flowed down the trunk and down to the roots. It sent up a shoot that grew into a giant flower bud. Twilight walked up to it and cautiously touched it with her hoof and the flower bloomed. Nestling within the petals was a crystal hexagonal box with what looked like keyholes in some of the faces.

As we all crowded around it to have a good look, Twilight asked, “What’s inside it? How do we open it?”

I said, “Anyone got keys that might fit in those slots?” I got nothing but blank looks. “Well, considering that there are six Elements and six former Bearers, it’s probably up to you six to find them.”

“It should be seven, darling,” Rarity said. “You earned the title today, you know?”

“Thanks, Rares, but I have enough responsibilities. Besides, that would be just one more key to look for, right?”

Twilight said, “You can try to reject the title, but it doesn’t change the reality. You are now and forever more an Element Bearer.”

“I thought you’d be more upset about me using your Element,” I told her.

“Are you kidding, Mark? The Element of Magic is formed through the power of friendship. Besides, it confirms my theory that the Elements choose their Bearers. Anypony with the requisite characteristic that exemplifies any of the aspects can become a Bearer. You are the proof!”

“And she’s nerding away so all is right with the world once more,” I said drolly to the laughter of the others and a blush from the purple alicorn.

I waved a wing at the crystal box. “That thing is a conundrum that can be solved another day. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m tuckered out.” I grabbed Trixie’s wings. “Let’s go home.”

#

When we got back to Ponyville, the first thing that I saw was that it was totally free of the invading vines. That made it easy to spot Trixie haranguing Discord who actually looked relieved to see us.

Banners and streamers popped out of thin air and party horns tooted. “Bravo! However did you save the day this time?” Discord asked. “Blast the beastie with your magic necklaces, I presume? Where are those little trinkets of yours? You know – the ones that you use to send me to my extremely uncomfortable stone prison.”

“Gone,” Applejack admitted.

“Gone?” Discord asked with a smirk.

Fluttershy flew up and gave him a pointed look. “But our friendship remains.”

Discord wilted and Fluttershy poked him with a hoof.

“And if you want to remain friends, you’ll stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking and help us clean up.”

Discord popped away and reappeared in a maid’s outfit. “Fine! But I don’t do windows.”

I wasn’t done with the draconequus yet though. “You’re suspiciously blasé about this as if you knew what was happening. What part did you play in all this, and why only now?”

Discord shrugged. “I have no idea. Those seeds that I planted should have sprouted up ages ago.”

“What did you say?!” Twilight demanded.

“Why should I try to explain it when you can see for yourself?” Discord held out the flask of the white potion that I had drunk before.

“What’s that?” Twilight queried.

“Allow me, Twilight,” I said. “Might as well see the final pieces of this puzzle.” I took the flask and drank. My vision exploded once more.

I was back at the scene where Celestia and Luna confronted Discord, but this time the focus was on the beans that he was eating. The vision followed some to the ground where they buried themselves and started sprouting. Then I heard Discord’s voice narrating.

“Well, obviously things didn’t go according to my original plan. My plunderseeds should have stolen the magic from the Tree of Harmony and captured Princess Celestia and Princess Luna thousands of moons ago. Alas, it seems the Tree had enough magic to keep the seeds from growing up big and strong. Until now, that is.”

The vision showed the roots of the plunderseeds being stopped by the Tree of Harmony, and then I was back in Ponyville.

I glared at Discord. “So, not only was that information we could have used hours ago, but you were the cause of the problem in the first place. You could have stopped all this if you wanted to.”

“And rob you of a valuable bonding experience with the others? What kind of friend do you take me for?”

“One who should be a statue right now,” I replied.

“Not much you can do about that now. Without the Elements, there’s little you can do against a demigod.”

“I don’t believe in gods. I believe in friends.” I stepped back to join the six former Element Bearers and they closed in and presented a united front to the draconequus.

Discord gave me a sour look, but his trademark smirk soon returned. “I was right about you, Mark Wells. You are indeed delightfully disruptive.” He then disappeared in a flash of light.

When it was apparent that Discord was not returning, Trixie wandered over to me looking despondent.

“What’s wrong, G and P?” I asked.

“Trixie was not of much use,” she admitted.

“Did you keep Discord preoccupied while we were looking for the Tree of Harmony?” I asked.

Trixie snorted. “The Great and Indignant Princess Trixie had a thing or two to discuss with him. I got him to agree not to pull his antics on my little ponies any longer!” Her ears fell a bit. “Well, at least those outside of Ponyville.” Her ears pointed forward and her mood brightened. “Do you know what else? He told me I thought of myself as better than my friends, which was quite perceptive of him!”

This got an epic eye-roll and a smile from Twilight.

Trixie continued. “I think he tried to shame me into running into the forest to help you all, but Trixie knew that you’re a competent lot, so there was no reason to do so.” She gave a warm smile to the purple alicorn. “It’s good to have you back, Princess Twilight.”

Her co-ruler smiled. “It’s good to be back, Princess Trixie.”

I grinned. “I’m impressed. I suspect old snake-hips respects ponies who stand up to him, even if he’s insufferable a lot of the time. Heaven knows what he might have done if you didn’t keep him busy.”

“That makes Trixie feel better, but she notices that you did not include her with your friends.” She pouted.

I grinned back. “I have lots of friends, but only one princess.”

That brought a genuine smile to her face. “You are forgiven. Now, Trixie thinks it’s time we went home.”

I spread my wings. “Would you care for a lift, Your Highness?”

Trixie laughed. “Not a chance in Tartarus, Birthmark Smells. We’ll take the train.”

I smiled. It was good that everything was back to normal at last.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Mostly mine this time, but Airy Words thought of "Princess" Mark becoming more literally one, albeit as Twilight's doppelganger.

Art of Mark and Trixie by Foxenawolf. This was a recreation of the scene from the "Princess Twilight" episode as seen here.

Art credits for Princess Twilight and Discord:
Background by Somepony
Twilight Sparkle in Coronation Dress by Starnight5
Twilight's expression by Hakuno
Discord – Show asset.

Chapter 18 - Duties and Distractions

It was a particularly nice day and I was settled in a garden chair in the shade of the gazebo at the rear of the castle, overlooking the gardens and the hedge maze. Steady Flight had brought us both cool drinks and I was sipping at mine between playing my guitar. Oh, yeah – did I mention that I’d recently come across a shop that sold musical instruments and I had spotted this on display? Of course, I was intrigued by how a pony could possibly play one with hooves, but I really should have known better. I’d seen cello and violin playing done, so I had to know there was a trick to it, but still…

I queried the shopkeeper about it. Although he was a little surprised at the question, he did give me pointers. Turns out it’s mostly about focusing intention into the magic touch of one’s hooves. Just as I was able to manipulate table cutlery by not thinking about it and just doing it, the same was true for selecting chords and plucking strings. Naturally, I had to practice a little to do it right, but it didn’t take me long to get up to my normal degree of proficiency.

Of course, that did not make me a virtuoso. My talent was definitely modest, but Phil and I used to have a lot of fun singing around the campfire, me strumming my guitar while he laid down some beats with a couple of sticks and a log or a bucket. Once in a while, we attracted other campers and had a great time with the impromptu band. Right now though, I was introducing Steady, Trixie, Twilight, and anyone else who was prepared to listen to songs from Earth. Music seems to run in the veins of these ponies, and I was a hit. Maybe I should go commercial? Nah – too much work. I had always played for the fun of it, and I wasn’t about to change that.

This gazebo had become a favorite place for me to play if I didn’t want to attract too much attention, or I wanted to rehearse a new song. It was great for seeing the world pass by too. More than one session had been brought to a halt while I watched Twilight practicing flying. Honestly, aside from my power-handling problem, I was currently a better flyer than the young alicorn. She had been devoting so much of her time to her studies and her Element of Magic responsibilities that she rarely took the time for flying lessons. She had managed to overtake me in incurring the wrath of the groundskeepers for all the damage she did from crashing. Nevertheless, I envied her the earth pony fortitude that she possessed because she shook off incidents of the kind that had me begging for a healer, and of course she had perfect control of her magic flow. I took my laughs while I could.

Today though, I was a little introspective. A couple of weeks had passed since the incident with the plunderseeds, and I was assessing my life in Equestria so far. My aptitude at using the Element of Magic before I surrendered it to the Tree of Harmony had shaken me. It put me on a level that I felt I didn’t deserve, but more to the point, it had made me inextricably a part of this new world – a pony in a land full of magical colorful equines. What was happening to the human? I was now used to walking around butt naked, but instead, I was having to deal with the unexpected attention of several mares. Thank the heavens that they were all considerate of my stallion sensibilities, although Fluttershy tended to push the boundaries. Who knew that such a timid pony could be so assertive in these affairs? The reversal of the male/female status quo had been a little odd at first, but at least they could deal with a male who played hard to get. And believe me, I was going to be really hard to land. No female, human or equine, had tempted me yet from the joys of being single.

On the flip side, I had gained far more friends in these past weeks than I had ever possessed before. I missed Phil and my life back on Earth, but I was genuinely enjoying my stay here. Then again, I’d been regarding my residence in Equestria as a transitory thing – a sabbatical, if you will. Twilight was still researching ways of recreating the portals to get me home, and of course get the alicorns back, and while that hope remained, I could only regard this as a temporary arrangement. Tomorrow, Twilight might find the answer and I’d be back in my bedroom and my old life at last. I looked over to Steady who was nibbling on a pastry that he’d brought with the drinks, and I wondered what I would be giving up.

Besides my new friends, there was also flying. I hated to admit it, but after my very successful emergency flight to Ponyville, albeit with a less than stellar touchdown, I had grown in confidence and found myself losing the fear of heights that had plagued me originally. When I had mentioned this to Steady, he had scoffed knowingly and said, “Pegasi gotta fly”. How could I argue with that? There was something to be said for gliding through the sky under your own power that could only be poorly imitated by humans. I should know. Before I gave up on any activity that got me more than a couple of yards above the ground, I had tried sports such as skydiving. I’ll never do that again, but now I had wings and damned if I didn’t like them! If only I could lick the flight-magic regulation problem.

Yeah, I had it pretty good here in Equestria, so why was I feeling so melancholy right now? And where was Trixie? She should have joined us a while ago. This was her afternoon off while Twilight Sparkle took Day Court’s second shift. Another quarter hour passed before the Great and Miffed Princess Lulamoon arrived.

“Hi, Trixie! Grab yourself a drink to cool off and tell me about it,” I said when I saw her expression.

The blue unicorn grabbed the whole jug of iced tea and carried it and a tumbler over to a chair. She poured out a full glass and drank most of it before topping it up. “Trixie is having regrets over asking Sparkle to be her co-ruler.”

I sighed. “Let me guess – she was late again?”

“Of course, she was late!” she said with exasperation, dramatically sweeping the jug through the air and spilling half of its remaining contents. “The Princess of Books had lost track of time while studying again. Her lack of responsibility is irking.”

This wouldn’t be so bad if it was the first incident, or even the second or third. Unfortunately, just as I had judged before the Alicorn Challenge, Twilight was a student of magic first and the Element Bearer second. Running a nation came a distant third, despite her intention to do her best for Equestria. The purple alicorn had more than once gotten lost in her studies or had gone gallivanting about the country with her friends for one reason or another. All were legitimate activities, but it had shifted the burden of running the nation back onto Trixie too often. Even though she had previously ruled on her own, Trixie was peeved that she still had to do the majority of the work despite having willingly surrendered half her authority to Twilight. What had started as a pretty fair and friendly partnership was slowly degrading with incidents like these.

It didn’t help that Twilight was regarded as the more popular princess even though most of those in the government knew that Trixie was responsible for the majority of the hard work. Twilight had started a few pet projects and her focus was on those. It was a pity that Spike was still in Ponyville, looking after the library whenever the alicorn was in Canterlot. The hard-headed and sensible young dragon could usually keep her on time and in focus. Seriously, that little guy had all my respect. And he made the greatest pancakes too. I never forgot to bring him the latest comics as soon as they hit the stands here in Canterlot. I wished the problems with the diarchy were so easily solved.

Recently, Twilight and the other former Element Bearers had gone to the Rainbow Falls tryouts for the Equestria Games. As important as they were to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy as competitors (and didn’t the latter surprise the heck out of me), they weren’t something that required one of the nation’s rulers to attend. Of course, I did not think that she had to devote every moment to the business of being a princess. That concert by the Ponytones had been fun, and I had been truly impressed by Rarity’s singing (and stunned at the usually taciturn Big Macintosh’s bass virtuoso performance), but at least it had been in support of a charity event. That was definitely on the list of royal-appropriate duties and I was glad to have been invited. I planned to try to get to another recital if there was a corresponding break in my schedule.

“I will have a talk with Twilight after Day Court is finished,” I promised.

“Trixie would appreciate that, though she has little confidence in Twilight Sparkle listening,” the blue mare replied with an air of resignation.

“You just have to know how to handle her,” I replied with as much confidence as I could muster.

Trixie loudly scoffed at that but said nothing more, preferring to concentrate on her drink instead.

It was too nice an afternoon to let her spend it simmering in frustration, so I said to Steady, “How about we practice a few landings?”

He looked at me dubiously. “Are you sure, sir?”

I couldn’t blame him for his hesitation – they were still my worst ability discounting the power-control factor. I leaned my head in Trixie’s direction and winked.

Steady caught on and nodded. “Very well – let’s start with a short-runway drill.”

I followed the stallion out of the gazebo, girding myself for the challenge. If I couldn’t cheer up Trixie with words, a few pratfalls were guaranteed to make her laugh.

Twilight didn’t turn up at the dining room after Day Court, but that was hardly unusual. I knew exactly where to find her though. I headed directly for her research laboratory – site of many a failed experiment in portal creation and other undertakings. It was the latter that I had come to dread lately.

Upon noticing me enter her lab, Twilight came bouncing up to me, happily waving a forehoof while carrying a hypodermic needle in her aura.

Despite the fact that it was a standard-sized needle, I still flinched back. “No, you may not play ‘Science’ on me today. Go back to your play blocks and Erlenmeyer flasks.”

She laughed. I was a bit relieved that it was the ‘Twilight is happy’ version and not the ‘Twilight is in manic science mode’ one. “Oh, Mark. You know just as well as I do that no one really uses Air-land-mare flasks for science. Their shape and glass thickness just aren’t designed for rapid heating and cooling. Mostly, they are props to make everything look all science-y.” She levitated the needle directly between us. “No, I was wondering if I could get another blood sample. In fact, I’d like to get one on a weekly basis.”

I instantly regretted my choice not to eat raw garlic this morning. “Away, vampire! You won’t be draining me dry of my precious bodily fluids!”

This earned even more delighted laughter. Inwardly, I cringed a bit. There was no hope of dissuading this mare if she didn’t take anything I said seriously. She smiled at me. “No, no. I’m not a vampony, and honestly, that’s probably not a good word to say around here. The thestral contingent of Luna’s Night Guards might take offense.”

She sat down and tapped the floating needle with a forehoof. “You’ve inspired me to start another research project! Do you remember the discussion we had about the maladies ponies can have with magic and the cells in their bodies? Some on the other end of the spectrum from your condition can leak out magic almost as fast as the background field provides it. Others can only keep extremely small stores in their bodies. I’m researching a way to use a small sample of your blood as a mana battery to alleviate those conditions. Probably in an amulet that can be worn.” The purple alicorn winked and nudged me with a forehoof. “I was thinking of naming the product after you.”

I snorted. “The ‘Zero To Klutz Amulet’?”

Twilight put a hoof in front of her mouth as the skin at the corner of her eyes wrinkled.

“The ‘Never Take Stairs For Granted Again Good Luck Charm’?” I offered.

She snorted and closed her eyes.

“Maybe the ‘Interstellar Flight Aid… No Guaranteed Returns… Space Suit Not Included Talisman’?”

The Princess laughed out loud. After that petered out, she said, “Actually, I was thinking the ‘Minute of Arc Organelles Magic Aid.’ ”

I shook my head. “Not you too! And you’re really reaching there.”

She gaped in pretend shock. “Don’t blame me if my mangling of your perfectly fine name is science-oriented.”

I thought back on something that sounded off. “So why ‘Magic Aid’ instead of ‘Flight Aid’ or ‘Pegasus Magic Aid’?”

Twilight’s enthusiasm turned back up to eleven and I could tell lecture-mode was fully engaged. “Well, I already knew that your blood could do something previously only achieved by alicorn cells: namely process and store more than one kind of magic – wild Everfree and pegasus. What are the special properties of your makeup that allow this, and can that be adapted to suit the magic of the other tribes? Theoretically, there’s no reason to believe it isn’t possible.” She smiled. “Did you know that your cells are also opaque to dragon magic? I sealed a pipette with a few drops of your blood inside, placed it inside a scroll and had Spike try to transport it to me on the other side of the room with his dragonfire. The blood was the only thing not teleported! It absorbed the heat but not a bit of the magic, and all that was left was a little cloud of fully-oxidized blood cells!” She gave me the smile only a successful experiment could make on a mare passionate about her research.

I shrunk back reflexively and held up a hoof to protect myself. “Please assure Spike that I will not forget his request for back issues of Power Ponies Generation Z.”

She laughed a bit maniacally. “Anyway, I’ve made some progress. I think there’s hope that your cells can be adapted to restore earth pony magic to quadriplegics and unicorn magic to those with cracked or broken horns. Right now I’m investigating the idea of using a catalyst to bridge the gap between types of magic.”

“What about Chaos magic?” I blurted out.

Twilight’s eyes widened. A scroll and quill popped out of nowhere and the latter started scribbling furiously. “I hadn’t thought of that. I wonder if I can talk Discord into donating a few cells, or at least try to charge some samples for me?”

“Maybe you can ask for Fluttershy’s help on that.” I thought of something else. “But isn’t all of this experimenting incredibly dangerous? What if the amulet shatters? Or with even a single blood draw sample, you’d have enough explosive to level half of Ponyville, wouldn’t you?”

Twilight shook her head. “Barely a quarter, actually. Did the math.”

I glared and didn’t feel the need to speak.

“There are barriers, both magical and physical, that will eliminate that danger. Also, I don’t plan to store any of your cells charged. I’ll just put them in time-stasis for preservation until they are needed. But if the research proves fruitful, even if it is just for pegasi, the demand will be extreme. I’d rather provide amulets to everyone from samples slowly donated over time rather than asking for a wing and a leg all at once.”

I nodded then glared at her suspiciously. “No super-sized needles.”

“I promise!” She smiled back. “Oh, and the other reason I wanted to meet with you today.” She fished around in her mane, frowned, then searched from the other side with the opposite forehoof. “Ah!”

Twilight pulled out a green wristband (or was it a pastern-band? A fetlock-band?), then she levitated it in between us. Then it was surrounded by one of her shields. “During my experiments, I realized that you really have only a binary method of determining how much magic your cells have absorbed: either perfectly fine or smithereens!” The purple alicorn gave me a big smile but then it drooped a bit as I hadn’t found her joke to be all that funny.

Twilight sighed and continued. “See the middle third of the band? That is a luminescent strip that repeats four times along the circumference. It turns on for three seconds if you touch it with a hoof or if the cells inside it are over 25% of their maximum capacity. I’ve put some cells inside the band to show you how that works.” Her horn glowed brightly and after a few seconds, I saw a brighter green glow appear as a rectangle in the middle of the band. The rectangle grew outwards on both sides, the entire shape shifting to yellow and then to red as it stretched further across the surface. Eventually, it came to a stop as red sections from further around met up, now making a full, glowing red stripe across the entire surface. After several more seconds, there was a pop, a puff of smoke, and the band returned to its normal green hue.

After the shield dropped and Twilight floated the wristband closer, I allowed her to put it around my left forehoof. It shrunk in place and fit snugly but comfortably. It matched my light green coat color exactly and the edges were mostly hidden by my fetlock hairs. Curious, I touched it with my right front hoof and saw a very thin line of darker green appear. Maybe two percent. I’d already used up my excess magic that afternoon. I looked up. “I noticed that you still had to put in more magic after the band was fully red before my cells blew up.”

She nodded. “100% safety margin. Still, I would not recommend going higher than what the band indicates. While your cells will spread out the magic charge across them fairly evenly, this still takes some time. Getting hit by a lightning bolt will be safe up until the band turns fully red.”

I blinked.

She looked a bit abashed. “Well, as safe as it ever is for a pegasus to be hit by a lightning bolt.”

I looked at the band and grinned. “This will be quite useful and reassuring. Thanks, Twi.”

The purple alicorn smiled happily. “You’re welcome, Mark.”

“While we’re on the subject of magic research, I was talking to Trixie about it this afternoon…”

“Uggh! When will that mare start taking her magic lessons seriously? She hasn’t been practicing nearly as much as she should be, nor following the study courses that I’ve laid out for her. Now that she’s mastered teleportation, I don’t think she cares about getting better at anything.”

I sighed. It seemed that Twilight was determined to hijack the conversation I wanted to have with her. Better to let her get it off her chest, I suppose but try to steer her in the right direction. “You do realize that she has to spend extra time on royal duties whenever you go gallivanting off with our friends, don’t you? There’s little time left in the day to relax and unwind, let alone study.”

“All those occasions were for the benefit of Equestria,” Twilight replied with a pout. “And she makes me do extra Day Court sessions after each of them, so I don’t know why Trixie is so upset. She could still find time to do studies on those days. And after all, she had already been doing Day Court every weekday before my coronation, so she has to have plenty of spare time now.”

I was beginning to get exasperated with the mare. “Don’t you see, Twilight? You’re making time for your magic studies and are constantly arriving late for Court, dashing off on a mission, or some other excuse. You even found time to tend to Discord! If you can’t manage your responsibilities to be on schedule, why do you expect Trixie to be any better? I won’t let you overwork her even if you think she should be doing more.”

“She’s a Princess of Equestria – she should be working hard for the benefit of the nation!”

“Do you think Princess Celestia wasn’t glad to have her sister relieve her of some of the burden of ruling when Luna finally returned from exile?”

That hit the young alicorn hard. I didn’t like using the absent princesses against Twilight, but she had to see something other than her own narrow point of view. However, as the peacemaker between the two current rulers of Equestria, I had to utilize whatever means I could think of, and as I wasn’t a professional diplomat, sometimes I wasn’t as subtle as I would have liked.

“I… suppose you’re right, Mark. I’ll try to not be tardy and to give Trixie her time off. I just hope that she will spend some more of it on her studies. It’s what Princess Celestia would have wanted.”

I counted that as close to a win as I was likely to get. “Okay, I’ll have a chat with her about that. Now, how about you put away your mad scientist gear and come have dinner? Growing alicorns need their nourishment.”

Twilight giggled. “Another thing that I let slip. Thanks, Mark.” She went to put away a few items and then joined me. As we headed out the door, she said, “By the way, Rarity says that the Ponytones are playing their final engagement for the season tomorrow at the Ponyville Town Hall, and she would like you to be there for it.”

“Hmm, I was thinking of visiting anyway. I have a bundle of comics to take to Spike. When’s the event?”

From my spot behind Pinkie Pie, I had a great view of the stage. I was both surprised and pleased by the enthusiastic performance that Big Macintosh was putting into his singing. Frankly, I had not seen this side of him before. The audience was certainly into it with him. Then everything came crashing down – literally. I don’t know who was more stunned to see a certain butter-yellow pegasus belting out the words in the manliest bass voice I’d ever heard, but there were more than a few jaws scraping the floor, mine among them. It took a long moment for Fluttershy to realize that the rest of the group had stopped singing and the audience was staring at her. She froze and didn’t seem to notice when every pony started cheering and hoof-stomping in appreciation. No, it was classic stage-fright that overwhelmed my friend. I started to head up to the stage to try to calm her, but she raced off before I could get there. Applejack immediately started grilling her brother about the incident, and the truth quickly came out. Then we all hurried over to Fluttershy’s place.

It took a bit of doing and a chase around Ponyville, but we managed to convince Flutters that not only weren’t ponies upset with her, but they had loved her performance. Of course, we understood how she felt about singing in front of an audience, but we pointed out how she should now have more confidence in facing a crowd.

Having learned about how poison joke had affected the quiet pegasus, the only thing that surprised me was how pleasant the result was. I was also intrigued by the fact that apparently the blue flower changed someone exactly the same way if re-exposed. I made the tactical error of mentioning this to Twilight and Rarity overheard.

“Darling!” she exclaimed. “You know this means we simply must do another modelling session. I was inspired to create so many more designs for Princess Celestia after your previous fashion show.”

I arched an eyebrow at her. “What is it with you girls wanting me to be a mare so much?” I complained. “I thought you liked me as a stallion?”

That’s when I learned Rarity swung both ways. I was doomed.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

I bet Discord is chuckling right about now.

I was glad to be able to find a good screen capture that I could modify to include Mark, but I almost forgot his wings until Airy Words pointed out the omission. DOH!

Chapter 19 - Discoveries

I laughed joyfully as I looped and dived through the air. I did barrel rolls and Immelmann turns, inverted flight, and power climbs. I danced through the air, the perfection of grace and control. So, who cares if I had to be a mare to do it? Certainly not me. Every stressful moment trying to learn how to fly properly was forgotten as I practically made love to the winds. I was master of the air! I was… not alone.

At some point, Rainbow Dash had joined me, and she matched my aerial ballet. Two winged ponies moved as one, twisting and turning in tight formation as if we were bound together by ethereal chains. We took turns leading and daring the other to follow and match the other’s maneuvers. Both successful and failed attempts were followed by laughter. My sheer joy of flight was mirrored on my friend’s face as we cavorted above the canopy of the Everfree Forest, away from prying eyes, but not those of my dear friends.

My desire to be something other than my normal klutzy self had outweighed my misgivings about encouraging Rarity, and the Elements and I had headed off to Zecora’s home in the woods. She had been amused at my request and had given me a small bottle of her poison joke elixir. After being lyrically cautioned that only a sip was needed, she reminded me that the cure still required a bath, although she foresaw the need for a simpler ingestible antidote. Yeah, that zebra saw right through me. And I didn’t give a damn.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that while I had managed to avoid Rarity’s wish for a second, third, or twelfth Royal Fashion Show, I had played right into the hooves of my multi-hued dance partner. My magically induced near-perfection of flight was pushing the mare hard to match, and she was absolutely loving it. I found that while Rainbow’s top speed and maneuverability outstripped my own, Celestia’s form gave me instinctual control of how to release the magic in my overcharged cells. As a result, I had better acceleration and deceleration, especially in a straight line. It was in Dash’s nature to enjoy both flying and the challenge of being the best. One day, that pegasus was going to blow away the Wonderbolts, but for now, her eyes were only on me and the sky.

All good things have to come to an end, and the two of us came to a landing in front of the Castle of the Two Sisters, breathing only moderately hard after our exertions. She grinned at me and I returned the smile. Both of us knew that we would be doing this again sometime. But for now, our friends were waiting. Twilight was the first to approach, curiosity making her eyes sparkle like her name.

“So, did it feel any different after the mane cut?” she asked.

Trust her to be more concerned about the effects of trimming one’s mane on the dynamics of flight than of whether we had enjoyed ourselves. If there had been one thing about being transformed into a simulacrum of Celestia that had really bothered me, it wasn’t being female. No – it was that huge flowing mane of hers which is why I had used a scrunchy to tie it back last time. The annoying mass of ethereal hair had come back, and I had idly asked Twilight whether it would matter if I cut it. After her initial surprise at the question, she admitted she didn’t know. “Why does Celestia keep it so long anyway?” I asked. Twilight explained that not only was her mane a distinctive feature that Celestia liked, it also acted as a safety valve for her magic. Celestia is such a powerhouse that she often had an excess of magic, but unlike me though, she could handle it. However, if it did leak, it would do so in extremely destructive bursts. The constant slow release through her mane eliminated that problem. I, on the other hoof, even fully charged, would not have nearly enough magic to move the sun or moon an inch, even if I had been given a unicorn body. I had no need for such a big failsafe. I asked Rarity to cut it back to a reasonable length. After a little debate over how much constituted ‘reasonable’ (as in she didn’t believe I should cut it at all), I finally convinced her to cut it way back until I had just enough for a ponytail of attractive length as well as my over-sized tail. I loved the result, and I was able to inform Twilight that my mane gave me no problems during the flight and made maneuvering a lot easier. We were both wondering what would happen to the bag full of multi-pastel colored hair once I transformed back.

Okay, maybe one small problem. Rainbow Dash said it made me look sexy. Thinking back, I realized that she likely didn’t have any stallion friends (well, most of the time) that were so willing to compete with her and not care less if they won or not. As if I didn’t have enough problems with the attention of the Elements of Generosity and Kindness already. Fluttershy hadn’t said anything, but sometimes I caught her looking at me hungrily. Damn, that girl was scary sometimes!

So, I had no fewer than three mares measuring my stats – eligible young stallion, easygoing, friendly, fun-loving, well-positioned socially and professionally, and into kinky alicorn sex-changes. I think Twilight could have been a fourth only she got too immersed in the study of all things from the home-world of Mark Wells to worry about petty matters like relationships. I counted my blessings that neither Pinkie nor Applejack appeared to be interested in more than being just friends – three were enough! Steady Flight had informed me that three or four mares competing for a stallion’s favor was perfectly normal. If he ever makes it to America with me, he might be in for a shock.

While Rainbow and I had been indulging in aerobatics, the others had prepared a picnic. The ruined castle had been chosen for the site of the meal because it was not only an obvious landmark for me to aim for once I had finished flying, but it was also a relatively safe place in the midst of the dangerous forest. Between the warnings and tips Zecora shared with us plus the six mares’ experience and planning, the hike there had been relatively safe. The securest route had been mapped out, and Twilight had come prepared with a variety of spells to defend against any foreseeable peril.

We settled down on the blankets that had been brought along, spread out on the floor of what remained of the Great Hall. Fluttershy and Rarity had immediately lain down on either side of me, leaning up against my sides. I suppose I should have been concerned, but it felt nice, and I was in too good a mood to spoil it with a trivial gripe. Pinkie rapidly unloaded the contents of the picnic baskets that Spike had helped carry in. I swear that twice as much as could possibly fit inside those baskets was pulled out, but I shrugged and reminded myself that it was just magic. Still damn impressive though. The horned ones among us (me excepted due to a nonfunctional knock-off) passed the food and drinks around, and we were all soon happily munching on our favorite foods. Only then did I realize how much of an appetite I had worked up. Rainbow Dash also. I think we competed to see who could eat the most. Fortunately, Pinkie had accurately foreseen the need, and we didn’t run out of food before we were replete. Did I say double? I think it might be closer to triple. I wondered if those innocent-looking wicker baskets were actually dimensionally transcendental. I resolved to find out sometime. Right now I was too full and feeling torpid.

Apparently, the others were feeling much the same. Both mares by my sides pillowed their heads on my back. I was feeling that a siesta might be a good idea too, but there were questions that were growing in my mind. I resolved to find some answers. “Hey, Twi – do you know if poison joke has any mental effects?”

Twilight’s brow furrowed as she considered the question. “That’s a little hard to answer, Mark. Poison joke was virtually unknown before Zecora studied it.”

I snorted. “That means that she probably was forced to find the cure because she had been affected once also. I wonder what happened to her?”

“We can ask her the next time we visit if she’s willing to talk about it.” Twilight shook her head. “Anyway, we have too few data points. Everything that happened to the six of us was of a physical nature, and I had thought that the same was true for you too. Have you been experiencing anything that might prove otherwise?”

“Well, when I’m my normal self, I like being male. After my first transformation, I was glad to return to being a stallion again. However, back then and right now, I have no problems with being a mare and I have no strong urge to return to being male. I mean, it’s not a matter of sexual desires – I don’t really think about that at all. I just love being coordinated and skillful in this form. But why don’t I miss being myself?”

“Hmmm… That may be a question for a philosopher or a psychologist rather than a magician. I suppose it’s possible that you have had a shift in mental perspective, but it could also just be that you enjoy yourself too much while in Celestia’s form to worry about those details. Seeing as you seem prepared to do it again now that you have that bottle of Zecora’s potion, my opinion would lean toward the latter. Only time will tell. Does this bother you at all?”

“The first time that it happened, I was disturbed for a little while until I started having fun with it, which thanks to you was in about thirty seconds.” The purple alicorn chuckled at that. “This time, because I was totally in control of the situation, I didn’t feel any disquiet. I’m totally down with being a mare for the duration.” I looked at Fluttershy and Rarity who both seemed to have fallen asleep on me. “And I’m even enjoying being a pillow. It’s so not me, but I don’t care.”

Twilight flashed me a brilliant smile. “Then count your blessings, Mark. You got lucky and the joke has backfired. Enjoy it while you can.”

I nodded. “I think I’ll do that, even if it’s going to be hard to find occasions to transform without half of Equestria finding out.” I blew away a few stray strands of color-changing hair from my eye. “I’m wondering if this mane will grow back next time though.”

“If I was a betting mare, I would say yes. The poison joke has to get you somehow,” she answered with a smirk.

I sighed. “Nothing is ever quite perfect, is it?”

The alicorn looked around at her napping companions and her smirk changed into a fond smile. “I don’t know, Mark – I think this may just be one of those times.”

Who was I to argue with the smartest mare that I knew?

I let the two mares continue to nap while I chatted with the others. The subject turned to the upcoming Equestria Games, and of course, Rainbow Dash was filled with enthusiasm.

“Oh, yeah! The Ponyville team is looking strong. We’ve all been training hard for the Games. As coach, I’ve got to watch the time and dedication they’ve put into their preparations. Even Bulk Biceps and Fluttershy have been giving 101% in our practice sessions.”

“I’m surprised that Bulk is in a flying contest rather than something like weightlifting,” I commented.

Rainbow shrugged. “He may be the strongest pegasus in Equestria, but he can’t match an earth pony competitor. He still wanted to compete in some field though, and I needed a third for the relay team, so we both got what we needed.”

I had seen Bulk fly – now there was real magic! But competitive it wasn’t. Nevertheless, Dash was undaunted and I knew that if anypony could win a race with him and Fluttershy as teammates, it would be my colorful friend. I gave her a grin of confidence. She then told me about the other team members and their events, and I had to agree that Ponyville had some real contenders. I suppose that I should have been more supportive of the Canterlot team, but I had no involvement in their organization and no emotion investiture. I much preferred to root for my friends.

The topic of conversation turned to the ruined castle, and I learned a bit more about its history and how this had been the site of the girls’ confrontation with Nightmare Moon.

“This must be quite a historical site,” I said. “Has any effort gone into preserving or restoring it?”

Twilight looked chagrined. “Actually, I’d been intending to do something along those lines, but I’ve never gotten around to it. And now that I’m a princess, I definitely have been too busy. Perhaps I should remedy that?”

“Uh-uh, Twi. I know that you’d probably enjoy it, but you have to prioritize your royal duties. Need I remind you about how much you’ve been letting that slip lately? Keeping Trixie appeased is becoming a full-time job lately. I suggest that you appoint some expert to look into it and perhaps arrange something in the budget for restoration works if they’re considered feasible.”

Twilight sagged. “You’re right, Mark. I can’t indulge myself like I once could.”

“Well, not when you’re on duty, but right now on your day off…” I hinted with a grin.

The purple alicorn brightened. “Of course! Care to join me in a little exploring, anypony?”

“Nah,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Poking around a dusty castle with zero death-traps? Not my thing. Thinking of taking a nap actually.”

“Oh, good,” I replied. “You can be the pillow while Twilight and I look around.” I indicated the two sleeping mares to Twilight who quickly caught on and levitated them gently off of me and onto Dash. The pegasus rolled her eyes but tolerated the action before laying her head on her forelegs and shutting her eyes. I stood up regally and did my best imitation of what I thought Celestia should act like. “Come, my little ponies! Let us explore this magnificent relic of years gone by.”

Twilight and Pinkie giggled, and I even got a chuckle out of Applejack. I then led the way in what looked like a promising direction.

At first, we did not find much of great interest. Whatever had survived the battle between Celestia and Nightmare Moon had succumbed to the ravages of time. I saw a lot of potential in the intact rooms though, and I was sure that the throne room could be restored with a bit of effort and some investment from the Crown. I resolved to bring it up at the next budget meeting rather than let Twilight butt heads with Trixie about it. I reckoned that the blue mare would take a lot of convincing – she was always more on the practical side. But historically, I was sure this place was a gold mine, and that was my opinion even before we reached the next room.

Twilight had barely stepped through the doorway when she froze and gaped, her eyes going as big as saucers. “Oh, sweet Celestia!” she murmured in awe.

I managed to push past her to see what had enraptured her. A library. Of course. Any thoughts that I’d had about keeping Twilight focused on her royal duties had just gotten a swift kick in the butt. But I hear you say that all the books should be a moldering mess by now, and you’d be right normally. But there they were, all of them looking just as good as they must have been a thousand years ago despite the huge hole in the roof. Row after row, level after level of pristine books of all sizes and shapes filled the room.

“H-how?” I gasped.

Twilight’s horn lit up, and after a moment, a complex glowing pattern appeared in the air. “A preservation spell, and an extremely powerful one at that,” she commented. “Celestia must have intended that this collection of books be an enduring repository of knowledge, and enchanted it accordingly.” Her smile grew to epic proportions. “And it’s all mine!” She was off like a shot to start exploring the huge library.

I turned to the others. “Well, it would appear that we’ve lost one alicorn princess. When I get back to Canterlot, I’ll arrange a squad of the Royal Guard to drag her back.”

“Good luck with that,” Applejack said with a smirk.

I nodded. “You’re right. Better make it two squads.”

As it turned out, we didn’t have to resort to such drastic measures. After we had our fill of exploring the castle, we returned to the throne room as the napping mares were stirring from their sleep. After filling them in on what we had found, Rarity had shaken her head and tutted. “Show me the way, darling. I know just what to do. Pinkie, dear, would you happen to have one of your Death By Chocolate cupcakes with you?”

“Of course I do, silly! I always have one in case of Twilight Sparkle emergencies.”

That had me curious as I led Rarity to the library where we inevitably found the alicorn surrounded by several massive piles of books. She barely noticed us as we approached, but when she did, she gave us a manic grin.

“Look what I have found already! These books alone will fill in huge gaps in our history.” She indicated one pile and then switched to the next. “And these—”

“Twilight, darling,” Rarity interrupted, “I know that these are truly important, but they can wait. It’s time to go home, and Mark needs you to teleport him past the prying eyes of the citizens of Ponyville to the spa. Pinkie – if you please.”

“But how can I turn my back on all the—mmfff!” Twilight’s mouth was suddenly full with a rich chocolate cupcake, and her pupils dilated enormously. She then started chewing and moaning in ecstasy.

Rarity enveloped the alicorn in a bubble of levitation and lifted her away from the books. Turning to head back to the throne room with the mare in tow, she said to me, “Twilight has a serious chocolate addiction. We discovered that it’s the only way to break her from obsessing over something, and it also makes her much more compliant. She shouldn’t put up a struggle for a while.”

“And just in case, I have another cupcake!” Pinkie added happily.

I was concerned that this room with a hole in the roof would not protect books that had been left haphazardly strewn about the floor after they survived a millennium in the bookshelves. However, behind us, I saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash had found a fairly empty set of shelves and were stacking Twilight’s selections there rather than trying to find their original homes. Satisfied, I turned my attention back to the intervention team.

“Well, that’s one way to solve a problem. I’ll have to remember that next time she’s in a bad mood.” And perhaps get the recipe for that cupcake. Seriously – if it could disable a powerful alicorn with just one bite, I had to try it for myself!

Ultimately, my vacation from Crash Wells had to come to an end… of course, that only happened after a full massage treatment by a pair of spa ponies who were in on my secret. This time I got Twilight’s promise not to cut it short.

Fully satisfied and relaxed this time, I wandered over to the large tub which already held my friends. I stood in the middle of the tub, already feeling Zecora’s antidote starting to affect me.

I smirked. “Hey, girls! Want to see a magic trick that even the Great and Powerful Trixie can’t do?” With that, I dunked myself fully underwater.

When I stood up, I immediately noticed feeling a bit colder in spots than I expected. I heard Fluttershy gasp and turned to face her. She was staring at my back and Rarity sitting next to her in the tub winced. “Don’t worry, Darling. I… understand pulled manes are in style this year in Manehatten. I’m sure the twins can give you a wonderful dressage plait before you leave.”

I turned to look at the other Elements. Twilight’s eyes bugged out and her cheeks were red. Pinkie looked upwards thoughtfully then slipped beneath the water’s surface. Applejack’s head was tilted slightly and her brow was furrowed. Rainbow was laughing uproariously – always a bad sign.

With a sense of dread, I turned to look behind me. Where I had previously sported a mane that was about a foot long, now it was maybe a quarter that length. That wasn’t so bad, but when I unconsciously flicked my tail, my eyes went wide. My dock was now bare except for the same three inches of hair covering it. “My tail! What happened to my beautiful tail!” Wait. Did I really say that? I could tell Rainbow heard me because the volume of her laughter went up a notch.

“Found it!” Pinkie was outside the tub, happily waving at me while holding the bag open that used to contain the leftovers from Marklestia’s mane and tail cut.

I bowed my head and slumped my shoulders. Mentally, I knew I shouldn’t be so affected by losing something that I didn’t even have a few months ago, but I was. I really, really was. The poison joke had gotten the last laugh after all.

Some splashing noises approached me and my head was quickly resting on an alabaster coat and purple mane. “Mark, darling, don’t you worry. We’ll not leave the spa until you are back to feeling fabulous about your appearance. I promise.”

As I leaned into Rarity’s embrace, I heard Applejack yell. “Rainbow Dash, caint ya see how bad Mark’s feelin’ right now? Yer makin’ him feel worse than a Mayfly goin’ ice fishin’.”

As the blue pegasus got her chuckles under control, I heard a voice from outside the tub. “Ah, zis eez no problem, Meester Mark. You are most fortuneet zhat you have zee original hair for us to work weeth. Much eezierzhan ’aving to dye zee replaizment.”

I pulled my head away from the fashionista to look into her eyes questioningly. She smiled gently. “We are in exactly the right place for this cosmetic emergency, Mark. It is time to introduce you to another trick of the fashion industry.”

I felt a bit awkward just lying down on the massage table, trying not to move. My friends were busy chatting away happily, occasionally bringing me into the conversation as they sorted the different lengths of tail hair. I was especially grateful to Rarity who sat closest and refused to let my mood turn sour again.

I had accepted Aloe and the fashionista’s recommendation to have the spa mare try “the dressage look” which consisted of repeating tight braids all along my mane. Twilight pointed out that my new look matched the one Shining Armor sported after returning from enlisted training. The regulation mane style was very popular among the troops, although you couldn’t guess it as it was completely hidden by their armor and helmets.

My tail was a more complicated process, with very small bunches of hair called ‘wefts’ magically welded onto the base of the strands still attached to my dock. These were slowly covered by individual hairs that were attached one-by-one onto those that formed the outermost layer. Aloe and Lotus moved like a two-headed machine, each spending less than a second to connect each individual strand, all while gossiping with my friends.

After only a couple of hours, I was allowed to get up and examine my new look in an alcove containing three mirrors. As part of the recovery process, the underside of my dock had been trimmed with clippers. Apparently, this was expected for cultured stallions and no pony had bothered to tell me before today. The extensions were invisible and frankly, the care given to it made my tail look better than ever. I noticed the lingering oil on my coat from a quick massage the spa ponies had thrown in to relax me. It served to highlight the muscle definition I had developed over the months of flight lessons and just trotting around everywhere. I couldn’t help myself but swish my tail in delight and pride at what I saw.

Then it struck me.

For the first time, I felt as pleased looking at my equine body as when I had been admiring my human form in the full-length mirror just before I came to Equestria. I realized that another milestone had been crossed towards making me as contented here as I had ever been at home.

“Are you happy with the results, Mark?” asked the Element of Generosity. I glanced up in the mirror to see smiling and perhaps slightly covetous faces behind me. This time, it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I turned around and thanked the two spa ponies. Then I embraced Rarity. “I’ve never looked better.” I pulled back to look her in the eyes. “Ever.”

She sniffed a little bit but didn’t drop her smile. “Oh! You don’t know how wonderful that makes me feel, Mark.” The rest of my friends came up for their own hugs as I thanked each of them in turn.

I ended up only just making it to the station in time to catch the last train to Canterlot. In fact, I certainly would have missed it if a particular rainbow-hued mare hadn’t been arguing with the conductor about how fast the train could really go if the stallion would stop being so cautious around every bend in the track. As it was, her interference and standing where she wasn’t allowed gave me the extra minute I needed to climb aboard.

The trip home was uneventful and I finally started to relax when I entered my quarters. I noticed that Steady had cleaned up my mess, or had one of the maids picked up after me. I checked the bed. Neat comforter over a rumpled sheet. It was Steady. Speaking of the stallion, I heard a knock behind me and turned to see him smiling in the doorway. “How was your trip, sir?”

I smiled. “Steady Flight! My good stallion! Thank you very much for cleaning up after my mess. I think I owe you a drink for that one.”

To my surprise, he just shook his head. “My work is my own reward, sir.”

I looked at him quizzically. “Ummm… OK. Well, in any case, I had a great time kicking back with my friends there. Hopefully, you won’t be busy the next time I go.” I smiled and struck a pose. “So what do you think of my new look?”

Steady gave a broad smile and made a circular motion with a forehoof. Well, sure, I suppose. I walked around in a circle so he could see the full treatment. The tail repair was invisible even when I looked for it up close, so I was confident nothing looked out of place.

When I came back around to face him, he clapped, though I think a bit sarcastically. He said, “Your level of personal care just went up a few notches, to the point that it befits your station. Even more, I think you’re all set for one of Rarity’s fashion shows, sir.”

I stopped mid-step. After a pause, he continued. “I saw the dinner jacket and ascot that she made for you. With your mane and tail styles, I could definitely see you modeling them for her.”

I recovered quickly with a chuckle. “Uh, yeah. Maybe as her guest at her fashion show or her plus one at another fashion event... crap! I still owe her a dinner out. That’s what I said I’d do in payment for the outfit.”

I started pacing. “The next time I see her will be at the Equestria Games in the Crystal Empire. She won’t be competing, but she’ll want to spend all her time with her friends and fellow townsponies… or maybe she’ll think it’s the perfect opportunity to show off her fashion line at the ritziest restaurant there.” I looked up to Steady. “What do you think she’d prefer?”

My friend shook his head sadly. “I’m not mare enough to have any clue what any mare is thinking or feeling.” He opened his eyes. “I’d suggest bringing the articles with you in case the opportunity arises. Plus this lets her decide on her own whim and schedule, sir.”

I thought I had gotten him out of the constant “sir” stuff when it was just the two of us. Still…

“Yeah. That sounds like the best plan. Great job, dude!” I slapped him on the shoulder. He smirked and bowed his head respectfully. Yep. Definitely acting kind of weird today.

“May I unpack your bag, sir?”

“Ah, no. I’ve got it this time, thanks.” I smiled sheepishly, remembering I had some more private photos to put away. “What you can do is wake me up thirty minutes early. I want to go down to the pool and work on my gait. I’ll master galloping if it’s the last thing I do!”

He rolled his eyes. “I thought ‘flying’ was what you were going to master if it was the last thing you did.” There was the snark I was looking for!

“Yes, yes. I’m sure I’ll finish them all on the same night. Speaking of which, good night, Steady.”

He smiled. “Good night, sir. May you fly to sleep cradled in the gentle wings of Luna.” He bowed and left.

I was left frowning at the door. That last bit was unusual, but I suppose Luna was the Princess of Dreams. No worries. Something to brood on another day.

As much as I wished that I could have spent more time in Ponyville, I had obligations to keep. Monday morning saw me standing by Trixie’s throne once more. Today was a little different from normal as several nobles had requested a private audience with their ruler before Day Court commenced, and Trixie had agreed to it.

“Thank you for meeting with our group from the Parliament of Nobles, Princess Trixie.” Lady Opulent Affair bowed deeply but kept her eyes on the mare on the throne the entire time. The unicorn mare had a pale yellow coat, so light that it was almost white. Her mane was likewise faded, appearing to be frosted silver. This coloration provided a strong contrast to her deep purple irises, which were accented by her silk lavender gown and amethyst jewelry. Anypony talking to her would find their gaze automatically gravitating to her eyes, which the Lady had learned to use to their full, captivating effect. From my spot next to the throne, I thought back to when I asked about her striking features. She was glad to relay how her noble line was the product of dozens of generations of careful mate selection from only the finest stock to create the palest, most beautiful equines possible.

Next to me, the faux alicorn waved a hoof. “Trixie lives to serve all of my ponies, including the nobles. What is on your mind, Miss?”

The noblepony unicorn’s eye twitched slightly as she paused, but then continued. “Well, mostly we wanted to congratulate you on winning the Alicorn Challenge.”

Trixie beamed. “Yes, Trixie was certainly Great and Powerful that day.”

“But how did you do it? We would love to hear how you bested the Element of Magic.”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed slightly and she smirked.

“While in my previous career I would have said ‘A showmare never reveals her methods’, today I am obliged to say, ‘That information is classified as an Equestrian State Secret’.”

Trixie’s expression dialed back up to ‘joyful.’

“Still, what is important is that Princess Twilight Sparkle took her rightful place by my side. Equestria was the true winner that day. It has been restored to its rightful state of being ruled by two alicorns.”

“Ah, yes.” Lady Affair shuffled her hooves. “About that. I have heard some gossip among the nobles. I hesitate to bring it to your attention, but I knew you just had to be told…” She lowered her voice theatrically. “…and far better to hear this from your trusted allies!”

Rather than encourage the noble to continue, Trixie just smiled expectantly.

The pale mare cleared her throat. “Others are saying that you might now consider yourself more than the provisional co-regent of our great country.”

“Oh, they are quite correct, Lady Affair.” Trixie’s gaze was direct, as was her tone of voice. “When Lord Fancy Pants declared me the victor, I became the rightful ruler of Equestria. In fact, because I saw you and every other pony present bow to me, you have all sworn your fealty. Did you not understand that was the purpose Celestia and Luna had in mind for the Alicorn Challenge? It established unequivocally who the ruler of this land is.”

The nearly white unicorn face betrayed a mix of emotions and she blinked rapidly. “But… when the Royal Sisters return—”

“If they return, they will first and foremost respect the laws that they wrote with their own hooves. Then Twilight Sparkle and I will meet with them as equals and discuss the matter like civilized mares. Now, did you have any further concerns you wished to bring up before Day Court begins?”

Lady Opulent Affair stood straighter, her face now impassive. “No, Your Highness. You’ve made yourself quite clear.”

Trixie smiled but not very kindly. “Then I wish you and your fellow nobles a pleasant morning.”

After the group had left and the doors closed behind them, I turned to Trixie. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but right now I’m actually glad that you can be an uncompromising megalomaniac when the time comes for it.”

The blue mare laughed and pounded a forehoof on the throne. When Trixie was done, she said, “Why, Grand Vizier! That compliment was so backhoofed, I’m surprised I didn’t spin across the throne room!”

I shrugged. “You employ me to call it the way I see it, even if it involves you.” I looked her in the eyes. “Frankly, I’m surprised it took this long before some of the nobles began to try chipping away at your armor. Oh, I’m sorry, before your ‘trusted allies’ did.”

“Trying to plant rumors all by herself to undermine my confidence. Amateurish, at best.” She sighed. “No. I’m afraid Miss Affair is perhaps a bit too affected by all those uncles breeding their cousins. The true threats among the nobles will come from those we never suspect. That is one reason I keep myself distant from them, even those whose company I enjoy like Lord Fancy Pants. And the whole lot of the nobles are of little consequence compared to external threats, both real like Chrysalis or possible like a suddenly powerful again Griffonian army. That is why I have drastically increased the budgets of select portions of the Guild of Mages and Foreign Relations Department. Next time, Trixie would like to know about trouble before it erupts from the ground and steals her wings.”

I eyed her appraisingly. “You really are growing into your role, aren’t you? You wouldn’t happen to be classifying Celestia and Luna as ‘external threats,’ would you?”

Trixie gasped in pretend shock. “From anypony else, I would consider that to be treasonous! But from you, I’m only mildly surprised it took you this long.” She waved me a bit closer and leaned towards me. I stepped in to hear her whisper. “Celestia confided with me that she had been hoping for centuries that her ponies would take more and more responsibility for their own lives and safety. With the appearance of Twilight Sparkle and her friends, she thought her long-held dream was finally getting closer to becoming reality.”

I blinked. “So do you think they left because they thought their ponies were ready?”

She shook her head. “Too sloppily done. There was so much chaos that it’s a wonder why Discord didn’t break free that day. No, they were called away on some real emergency. Twilight Sparkle also believes the same.”

I nodded my head. “That reminds me. I had a talk with Princess Sparkle.” I described the purple alicorn’s new project and her hopes that it would benefit ponies who no longer had access to magic.

The blue mare thought for a bit then looked up at me. “Trixie has no doubt this is a worthwhile area of research with great potential; however, it is another example of her prioritizing research over her royal duties.” She tilted her head slightly. “Perhaps the personal connection to this endeavor prevented you from seeing this?”

I thought about it. “Hmmm. I hadn’t considered that. When I speak to her next, I’ll keep that in mind. In any case, she reiterated her commitment to make up for sessions of Day and Night Court that she misses and agreed to put extra effort into performing her royal duties on time.”

The unicorn mare narrowed her eyes at me. “You are a wonder, Question Mark Birdwell. How is it that you so easily wrap the will of your sovereigns around your hooves? Perhaps you are a greater threat to the independence of Equestria than we had previously surmised.”

I was used to this by now. “You’re welcome. And now it’s time to exercise my control over your independence and tell you what you are giving up in return. I want you to spend more time practicing your magic.” Trixie rolled her eyes and groaned. Fortunately, I had experience with teenagers. “Don’t give me that. You need to keep improving yourself, if for no other reason than to help protect Your Little Ponies.”

“But the Busy and Overworked Trixie has no time for this.”

“Then make time. Cut back on the number of Night Court sessions per week. Delegate more to the capable ponies who prove themselves. When you go to the spa, have someone read to you, even if it is a review of your spellbooks. Have Raven help arrange more of your schedule for efficiency.” The unicorn mare in question was just arriving in the throne room, her ears now perked forward in interest at hearing her name used.

The former showmare frowned and was silent for some time. After Raven had taken her place and I had silently promised “Later” to her, we both waited for our co-ruler to respond. At last, she said, “Trixie will make the effort and will consider all that you have said.”

I nodded. That meant I had to keep following up regularly to remind her.

Raven cleared her throat to get Trixie’s attention. “In any case, it’s time.”

We all turned to face the double doors where today’s petitioners waited. We had a lot to get through this week to build a buffer before we took a few days off for an official visit to the Crystal Empire for the Equestria Games.

Trixie’s magically amplified voice boomed, “Let Day Court commence!”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Isn't that a great picture of Marklestia and Rainbow Dash by Foxenawolf? Help me afford more by buying me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 20 - Games

If you can’t be royalty, the next best thing is being royalty’s right hoof stallion. First Class travel all the way to the Crystal Empire in the royal coach of the train that was currently wending its way through the foothills of the Crystal Mountains, the ranges that separated Equestria from the Crystal Empire. Both Trixie and Twilight were on board to attend the upcoming Equestria Games. Fortunately, they each had their own stateroom. While Celestia and Luna may have been happy to share with their sister, that would have been a disaster with their replacements.

Of course, I was hardly the only extra VIP passenger. All the Element Bearers were accompanying Twilight, although it had been difficult to drag Applejack away from the farm for the duration. Spike was here too, and he was teaching Steady Flight and me how to play Ogres & Oubliettes. Even though I had never played the game, I recognized it as being analogous to Dungeons & Dragons, something that I had not gotten around to dabbling with up until now. Discord teleported in to do the session with us, despite my misgivings at the presence of the draconequus. However, I had to admit that his unconventional approaches to problems our party encountered made it twice as fun. Between the game and the gorgeous scenery, I was far from bored despite the lengthy journey.

Because this was an overnight trip, it was good to be able to keep oneself amused. Twilight realized that this was also the perfect time to get Trixie to study her magic and had her hitting the spellbooks hard. Not to be outdone, Trixie had dumped the latest political headache on Twilight for her to sort out. It was remarkably peaceful while both were too preoccupied to snipe at each other. Fortunately, détente prevailed when they stopped for meals. That’s when I had to be at the top of my game and steer the conversation.

“So, Twilight – any progress on opening that box from the Tree of Harmony?” I asked.

The purple alicorn scrunched her face in frustration. “Not a bit. I wish that it came with a set of instructions, but considering its origins, I suspect that discovering the keys is part of a test.”

“If it’s anything to do with Harmony, I guess it might be tied to the Elements that you represent. Maybe do something that exemplifies that Element and you get a key. Isn’t that how you got those artifacts in the first place?”

“A reasonable hypothesis, but one that’s hard to test. Nevertheless, I’ll keep my eyes open for anything that fits the bill and ask the girls to do the same.”

I looked around for Rainbow Dash to inquire about her preparations for her events, but she was absent. Probably coaching her team members again. The prismatic mare took her role seriously, and I would be very surprised if Ponyville did poorly at the Games. Fluttershy was absent too. Being a team member, I suppose she had to train along with the others.

I chuckled at the memory of those two pegasi at the recent Traders’ Exchange at Rainbow Falls. Trixie had been the Princess in charge of settling disputes this year, and suffice to say that things had gotten a bit strange that day when Rainbow Dash was a tad too zealous in her quest to get a prized item. I didn’t think that Twilight had learned what happened there yet and I had an evil whim. “Hey, Twi – has Trixie told you about her day at the Traders’ Exchange yet?”

The alicorn looked up from her work and shook her head. “No, she hasn’t. How did that go, Trixie? Was it the great public relations opportunity for you that I thought it would be?” she asked eagerly.

The blue mare gave Twilight a flat look. “Oh, the crowds gave Trixie the great welcome that she deserved, but then she sat around being bored all day. Whose idiotic idea was it to have no less than an Equestrian Princess arbitrate petty disagreements between ponies? Do you remember how much real work Trixie has to do while you are hanging out with your friends? Not to mention the magic lessons that you consider so essential. But no, it seems that the Great and Underappreciated Trixie’s time was better spent at a trash and treasure market.”

“Oh. I’m sorry that it didn’t work out so well,” Twilight said.

“It wasn’t a total loss. Trixie got to rule on whether Rainbow Dash exchanging Fluttershy for a rare book was a fair trade.”

“She WHAT?!” Twilight screeched.

Trixie continued. “Since both of your friends entered the agreement willingly, Trixie was tempted to say yes, but in the end, Trixie decided that it would set too much of a precedent to start selling ponies into slavery.”

“I should hope so! I’m going to have words with Dash just as soon as she’s done with coaching.”

“Trixie has decided that future events shall have a vice-regal representative attend in our place. We have far more important things to do with our time.”

“But… the tradition…”

“…is one that needs to be retired. Trixie doesn’t know how it started, but she knows how it will end. The Wise and Busy Princess Trixie has spoken!”

Twilight took the defeat pretty well and accepted Trixie’s ruling. Discord gave me a wink and a thumbs-up for getting a rise out of Twilight. Hey, she’s my friend – I can prank her if I want to! If Rainbow and that trader hadn’t accidentally made a deal that was misinterpreted and came out wrong, it would have been possibly the most boring day of my life in Equestria, and perhaps ever. Trixie played it up like crazy though, and we had a laugh about it later. There was never any chance of the shy pegasus being forced into servitude, but we weren’t going to let Dash forget about it for a long time. Yeah, I’m merciless when it comes to teasing all of my friends.

I went to bed a bit later than I had intended due to the O&O game going longer than I thought it would. All the mares had already hit the sack by then, although one of them had hung around longer than the others. I think she may have had some desire for company, and I knew who her pony of choice was. However, I wasn’t in a hurry to encourage her, and with Discord there still, well… enough said.

I woke up to snow-covered scenery which, while not my first experience with the cold white flakes, had a certain fairytale appearance that I had not seen before. I suppose that was appropriate for a land of magical ponies, but it was new to me and I watched it as it passed by as I sat eating my breakfast. Royal chefs had accompanied our group, of course, and the culinary standards didn’t slip for the mere fact that we were still on a train. I was thoroughly spoiled, I know, but at least I burned through all those calories every day. No pudge on this pone!

It came as quite a surprise when snow abruptly transitioned into fertile green fields. Sure, I might have known about how the Crystal Heart keeps the ice and snow out of the Crystal Empire, but it was still a startling phenomenon to see with my own eyes. After a while, farms transitioned into houses and shops, and that’s where the train journey terminated. The rest of the way to the palace was an easy walk, but the G&PT insisted on a carriage ride. Protocol agreed with her, even though none of the rest of us minded the stroll, including Twilight. Besides, you got to see more when you weren’t travelling in a fast-moving carriage.

One thing that you couldn’t miss though was a giant statue of Spike holding up a crystalline heart. I would have asked him what that was all about, but he had been whisked off his feet by a pair of Crystal Guards who then galloped off towards the castle with him. I shrugged and figured that we’d find out what that was all about soon enough. Cadance and Shining Armor were waiting for us at the base of the castle where the actual Crystal Heart was spinning rather hypnotically. Twilight and Cadance exchanged an adorably cute greeting before we were all invited inside for a royal luncheon. There we found Spike snacking on a bowl full of gems that were being fed to him by an eager mare. Curiouser and curiouser. Not so unexpected was Trixie lounging in a chair, sipping wine and snacking on a selection of pastries. I hope she hadn’t eaten the apple turnovers that I liked and Cadance had promised me when I visited.

Over luncheon, I learned a lot more about the Crystal Empire and why Spike was regarded as a hero. I congratulated him even as I made a mental note to keep an eye on the young dragon. Fame like that could go to the head of a kid like him. Of course, Cadance had to go and stoke the fire.

“We were hoping that you could do us the honor of lighting the torch at the opening ceremony tomorrow. You’d be the very first dragon in the history of the Equestria Games to do so.”

Wow! Spike’s eyes lit up when Cadance said that. “Of course, I’ll do it! And I can even do it with my fire breath.”

He proceeded to demonstrate. Fortunately, we had a pitcher of ice water handy to put out the decorative centerpiece.

I was surprised to receive a summons from Princess Cadance the next morning. She asked me to join her for morning tea a half hour before she was to host the Royal Breakfast Buffet (or whatever it was called) for all the out-of-town dignitaries and athletes staying in the Crystal Castle. I hurried to comply, curious if she would be trying to set me up with another of the ponies attending or competing at the Games. As I followed the palace guard who led the way, I mentally compiled a list of the most and least likely being Cadance might invite to share tea with us. By the time the guard knocked politely on a mahogany-stained door, I had put Fluttershy on the top of my list of possibles and Discord at the bottom. As I heard the Alicorn of Love call out ‘Enter’, the thought occurred to me that if the other occupant of the room actually was the Lord of Chaos, that would be conclusive proof that the Pain-In-The-Arse could read minds.

The guard stood in the doorway a moment. “Presenting Grand Vizier Mark Wells, Your Highness.” He then stepped back gracefully while bowing.

I heard her melodious voice carry into the hallway. “Thank you, Amethyst Chip. That will be all.”

As I entered the room, I saw the Princess in her standard regalia sitting behind a small wrought-iron table. A blue and white porcelain tea set, two empty bread plates, and a small covered wicker basket sat on the table. Surrounding us were a variety of potted plants, several reaching nearly as high as the ceiling, perhaps ten feet overhead. Three walls showed the blending of blue and purple crystals that made up much of the castle. The fourth was made of clear, faceted columns of crystal and allowed morning sunlight to shine on the greenery.

Cadance smiled warmly as the Guardspony closed the door behind me. I used that time to verify that there was only one more chair in the room, and there were only two teacups in the set.

“Thank you for agreeing to join me this morning, Mark.”

Since we were apparently on a first name basis, I decided to do the same. “Thank you for inviting me, Cadance. It’s not often I get the chance to have tea in a beautiful Sun Room like this one.”

She looked around, her smile growing. “Yes. I find this room very relaxing and a wonderful spot to enjoy a few peaceful moments before my duties start in earnest.” She waved to the chair opposite her and picked up the teapot with a hoof.

As I sat down, I saw her practiced and steady hoof pour out tea for us, first my cup, then hers. She then gently set down the teapot and unfolded the napkin from the top of the basket, revealing two scones and small ramekins containing soft butter and some jams. She pointed one out in particular that was an odd combination of red, blue, and purple. “This is crystal berry jam and was made by the castle chefs just this morning. It is one of the few items that have been popular exports to Equestria, although our output is still very small. Our hope is that within four years, my crystal ponies will boost capacity to where we can export to other countries as well.” Her pride was evident in her voice.

My coordination with cutlery, at least, had come a long way since my first meal with the Great and Snarky Trixie. I soon found myself humming appreciatively over a piece of scone slathered with butter and the aforementioned jam. After swallowing, I said, “I can see why this is so popular. It reminds me a bit of cloudberries from back home.” I took a sip of the tea and smacked my lips. “Crystal berry as well?”

She smiled with a trace of embarrassment. “I think you’ll find many of the local foods and drinks here use them. They also make a great sugar-base for meads and liquors.”

As the co-ruler of the Crystal Empire prepared her own scone in a manner similar to mine, although with much more butter, it occurred to me that Cadance was being very relaxed and unguarded. I knew she had the skills of a politician hardened by decades of experience and could hide her emotions if she chose, but she was inviting me to let my guard down as well.

After finishing our scones, we both relaxed and stared out at the city before us. The random faces of the crystal columns and slight milkiness to their color distorted the light enough to prevent a clear view of the city, and I suppose, preserved the privacy of those within the sun room. Behind and above me, a songbird decided I was not a threat and started its gentle tune.

I exhaled, quite relaxed. “I know there isn’t a great deal of time before we have to attend breakfast with everypony else. Was there something you wanted to discuss before then?”

Cadance took a long sip of her tea and continued to look outside. “As much as anything, I wanted to get a better feel for you. You are such an important part of so many ponies’ lives now.” She looked at me and smiled. “We haven’t had the chance to spend any time together.”

I grinned back. “And so what have your perceptions told you, if I may be so bold as to ask?”

“Well, first of all, you were clearly expecting there to be someone here with me this morning.” I thought back to my near instantaneous counting of the number of cups. She smirked. “If I may also be so bold, who do you think was going to be here?” Her eyes twinkled in amusement as my eyes narrowed playfully. She knew all along I wouldn’t fall for that trap. I certainly wasn’t going to make it that easy for her to learn which mare was foremost in my thoughts.

“Nice try. But I’m willing to tell you who was the last one I expected to be here.”

Her ears perked forward.

“Discord dressed as Shining Armor.”

Cadance threw her head back and laughed, which was quite a wonderful thing. My respect for her husband moved up half a peg for getting to witness this on a regular basis.

The pink alicorn settled down and looked at me appraisingly.

“What?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I can only say that there are rules on what I can and cannot do in my role as Alicorn of Love.” She poured a bit more tea into our cups.

After a short pause, I spoke. “I noticed that you asked ‘who’ I expected and not ‘which pony.’ ”

She nodded. “I impose no restrictions on those I advise. Whether it is a single passionate fling, a bonding friendship, or finding your soulmate, love makes no distinction between species and, of course, neither do I.”

She looked at me conspiratorially. “Would you like to know a secret?” I leaned forward and nodded. “I am the anonymous patron for numerous academics, sculptors, playwrights, authors, and painters who push the envelope of what is considered socially acceptable love and friendship in Equestrian society. Everything from historical studies of homosexuality in ancient Saddle Arabia to a future-fiction play about a grounded dragoness and an earth pony soldier – mortal enemies forced to cooperate to survive the harsh climate of the Blasted Lands.”

I nodded. “I think you would have enjoyed the art and literature on Earth. Although we only have one sapient species, the notion of opposites attracting is timeless. And our ‘Science Fiction’ expands tales of love and friendship into other races.”

She smiled. “I hope someday you can share some of these stories; if you would be willing?”

“I’d be glad to. It sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for you in pony society.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “You have no idea. Do you know what the greatest barriers are for ponies to find their special somepony?”

I pursed my lips. “Well, the gender imbalance would have to be the first.”

She nodded.

“And then, at least for the Elements, the fact that they are so much more powerful than all the stallions around them.”

The Alicorn of Love blinked and her smile fell. “Ah! I see how you would think that, but no, that’s not it exactly.” She leaned back and used her magic to draw a series of pink lines in the air with a hoof, one on top of the other. “Think of pony society as a hierarchy of classes. Royalty on top, then a few levels of nobles, then important individuals in government and society, and so until you reach the common pony at the bottom. Pony tradition holds that everypony stays at or close to their birth position in society, at most moving up or down a level or two in their lifetime. As a result, a bankrupt noble will be regarded more highly than a hardworking and successful entrepreneur.”

Starting from the bottom, she swept a new curving line made of a shifting rainbow of colors until it crossed just below the top line. “Then the Elements of Harmony come along. Their power derives from the Essence of Harmony itself. Their importance to society is second only to the Princesses because of their role as protectors of Equestria. Now I’ll allow that Twilight Sparkle started at a higher position because of being Celestia’s personal student, but somepony like the reclusive Fluttershy had practically no social status beforehand, and now they are all securely above the most important nobles.”

I looked over the construct floating in the air. “I think I see the problem. Any that might have known them before they jumped up the ladder now believe themselves to be unworthy of their romantic attention, and those that are at the top of the steaming pile of nobles are resentful.”

The pink princess laughed freely. “An apt description if I ever heard one. I can see why Trixie finds your unfiltered input so valuable.”

“Still, there are always exceptions, aren’t there? What about ponies like Lord Fancy Pants?”

She beamed. “Very astute of you! Fancy Pants married the top supermodel in Equestria, now titled Lady Fleur De Lis, who hailed from an extremely humble background. Fancy was completely besotted, simply didn’t care about the opinions of others and married her regardless. Their story has spawned, indirectly, a number of romance stories and plays about true love finding a way regardless of the obstacles.”

I smirked. “No doubt sponsored by a mysterious donor.”

She flicked an ear but otherwise didn’t acknowledge my suspicions. “However, it has not been nonstop bliss for the couple. At various functions they attend, the noble mares especially take every opportunity to remind her that she has no place among them. It is so distressing for the poor dear that she’s taken to staying by her husband’s side for the duration of these events. Although I understand this has lessened after his commendable work as Arbitrator. Again, he has risen in stature and most nobles no longer feel they have the status to criticize him, even indirectly.”

I hesitated. “I was unaware of his marriage situation. I was actually referring to the way he treats everypony. I’ve seen how he interacts with the castle staff and guardsponies. He doesn’t talk down to anypony and is unfailingly polite.”

“He is just being true to his nature. He is also leading by example. I can only hope others choose to emulate him, although the urge to follow the herd mentality is exceptionally strong in our society…” She winked. “…especially among the weak-minded.”

I stared at the glowing lines and moved my hoof up and down. “So where exactly does ‘Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard’ appear on this list?”

“Not high enough,” grumbled Cadance. “Only my station as Alicorn of Love and Princess Celestia praising the union and declaring a holiday made the pairing acceptable in the eyes of all ponies.” I raised an eyebrow. She nodded. “Yes, even the common pony would have thought ill of the union without such extreme measures.”

“But don’t ponies worship and follow alicorns implicitly?”

She shook her head. “In my case, not so much worship as idolize and expect to set an example. Consider my role. I am the Alicorn of Love and all aspects of it. I cannot allow myself to become ostracized from society. Even as an alicorn, I am not permitted to outright break the social traditions, only bend them.”

The mare then put on a grin. “On the plus side, Shiny was supremely motivated to reach the top position in his profession. Confidence and ambition are quite the heady mix for a mare to behold in her chosen mate. We made the most of every fleeting moment together, whether sitting politely in a room with other ponies present or with a stolen kiss behind a convenient tapestry.” She shivered at the memory this evoked.

Not wanting to hear the details I said, “I expect the nobles despise me for not being sure of my background.”

Cadance shook her head. “At your introduction, you were an unknown quantity. You proceeded to defeat Lord High Station in single combat, such as it was. Also, you called for any more challengers with no response from those gathered. This established your social position as slightly above those in the Parliament of Nobles, irrespective of your background. Rather brilliant, if I must say.” She peered at me intensely. “Even if you did not understand the social repercussions at the time.”

I nodded, conceding the point of my ignorance. I considered what I had learned for some time as I stared at my cup. “On a separate topic, why don’t ponies form herds? That seems like the obvious solution and is common among equines in my world.”

“And this was common as well among our feral ancestors; however, the path to becoming the alpha male or female of the herd was strewn with enormous amounts of blood and suffering. When the Royal Sisters quelled the last independent city-state of what is now Equestria, many of the ‘old ways’ were outlawed, and enforced with a ruthlessness you wouldn’t recognize… oh, wait. You never met them. Anyway, Celestia and Luna worked without pause for a generation to improve the lot for every pony – overseeing the teaching of weather teams, ensuring crops were bountiful across the entire land, setting up mandatory schooling for all foals, teaching civics and law to local government ponies everywhere, and dismissing those who didn’t keep the welfare of all ponies at heart. They were the feudal ladies with absolute authority over an entire country. By the time newborn foals reached adulthood, they had grown accustomed to safety and prosperity. The poverty and scarcity of resources that drove the earlier violence was a distant memory.”

She smirked. “But getting back to your question, that’s also when the lack of stallions was solved through civility and culture. Do you know how an unmarried mare arranges to get pregnant?” I shook my head. “Outside of her heat, she asks a stallion she likes of a similar social status, married or not.”

My eyes went wide.

Before I could speak, she chuckled. “I take it this practice is unlike what you have in your homeworld?”

I shook my head. “Males and females are nearly equally split among humans. A woman choosing a man just for procreation doesn’t happen. Well … that’s probably going too far. It certainly happens, or a couple just doesn’t end up staying together before or shortly after the baby is born. However, the mother is looked down upon for having a child out of wedlock.”

“Ah, I see. No, that attitude does not exist here. It is perfectly natural for a single mare to have one or many foals. Her marefriends support them and society makes extra allowances for their maternal duties. The stallion is not socially required to have any interaction with the dam or foal afterwards.”

I glared at the pink alicorn. She merely grinned back. I’m sure she knew what I was going to say next. “So that makes me the obvious choice for any of the Elements of Harmony if or when they want a foal.”

“Please, Mark – not just then. You’re also their best chance to enjoy friendly stallion companionship and possibly courting, even if nothing permanent comes out of it.” She leaned forward. “You have the opportunity to court them as many times as you want.” She waggled her eyebrows, which looked very odd on the royal princess.

I rolled my eyes, trying to shrug off the thoughts that brought up, but I’m sure my cheeks were blushing. After she refilled my cup, I sat and thought for a bit. Cadance waited patiently.

I sighed. “The thing is… I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I enjoy my equine body… well, both of them.” I looked up to see her nod. She and doubtless Shining Armor knew already about my moonlighting as somepony with a shred of coordination. “But I don’t think I’m ready for romance yet. And certainly not ready to help raise a foal – even if society would not require me to do so, I would feel obligated to, regardless of the circumstances. Plus, I see myself as a human at heart, and a big part of me still wants to go home.”

Cadance seemed to weigh my words for some time. I was curious what insights she was getting or imagining about me. “Well, you will know if it is time to make a change. Just remember that you are Mark Wells no matter the shape and instincts of the form you inhabit. The most important lesson I teach is how someone can learn to love themselves. You have the unique problem of trying to do so with all three of your aspects. I’m concerned you may be focusing your self-respect on your memory of your human body. As a result, you don’t take the care needed to look and feel your best in either of your equine forms.” She shifted in her seat. “Tell me, Mark. How have you taken the initiative to be at your best physically?”

I thought about my recent trip to the Ponyville Spa. “Actually, only recently have I realized how much my stallion form means to me. It took me losing most of my mane and tail to do it, but take pride in my appearance now.”

She looked at my tail than back to my eyes with a quirked eyebrow.

“I got better.”

She laughed at that.

“But, if you don’t mind telling me…” She leaned forward again. “…who is the one you hold the dearest? With whom do you look forward to spending time with the most?”

I looked back down at my tea. “Oh, I don’t know.”

“Try. Let me in on your thoughts.”

Getting pushy, are we? Fine. “Well… it’s a bit embarrassing.”

She smiled. “Remember that I am the pony embodiment of all types of love. From material things to favorite foods to familial love to the most romantic. I am simply unable to judge ponies in matters of their hearts, only guide them when they allow.”

I took my time to set it up convincingly. “It’s… it’s… Steady.”

The alicorn blinked a couple of times then recovered. “That is only to be expected, with your new heritage.” Wait, what? That got me to prick my ears up. “When pegasi fly together, the emotional bonding can be quite intense. It is a natural reaction for that tribe. Romance novels about pegasi invariably include some form of coupling dance, whether it be in the air, underwater, on the dance floor, or even in battle. The tragedy The Generals of Canterbridge tells the story of two star-crossed lovers who meet thrice, each time as the finest and lead warrior of their aerial troops. In the end, the griffon leader kills the pegasus general, neither having declared their love except in their eyes. She screeches her heartsong then takes her own life over the body of her stallion, unable to continue without the only one she will ever love. Emotionally overwhelmed, the armies stop the battle and they dedicate themselves to building their memorial.” She sniffed and wiped away tears. “It’s such a beautiful and poetic story.”

I was too distracted to be empathic right then. “But it’s only a story, right?”

Cadance shook her head. “The ‘Peace of Canterbridge’ was the result. Pony and griffon playwrights collaborated to make the play. The text consists mostly of entries from their diaries.”

I felt my stomach drop. How did Steady feel about me? I mean really feel about me? “But… he’s my flight instructor.”

She nodded. “Having a specific purpose in mind helps alleviate the effect. But I can’t say how much long-term exposure has affected you given your unique heritage of being transformed into a pegasus.”

I leaned back in my chair. Did I really trust how I felt? And for how long? I blinked a couple of times to clear my head. No, I didn’t feel that way, but I’d have to watch for that. Flights with him when I was in Celestia’s form were out. Not happening. Then I thought back to the aerial ballet I had shared with Rainbow Dash. Did ‘just flying around for fun’ count as a ‘specific purpose’? Maybe. Maybe not. How about from Rainbow’s perspective? I took a deep breath.

“Thanks, Cadance. That… gives me a lot to think about.”

She beamed as she stood up. “Any time, Mark. Let me know if I can do anything to help your stay in Equestria and now here in the Crystal Empire happier.”

I set down my cup. “And thank you for the tea. I expect we need to head off to breakfast now?”

She nodded and we discussed more mundane details of the upcoming games on our walk through the crystal hallways. When we arrived at the dining hall, I saw many of the competitors and the entire Ponyville contingent mingling. It seemed breakfast started when the royal hosts decided it would. Fine by me. I grabbed a fluted crystal glass (what else would it be made out of?) and wandered over to where Trixie was holding forth.

After a while, I looked around to see if Steady had gotten up yet or had taken advantage of the opportunity to sleep in. I almost broke out laughing when I found him and saw his face. The Alicorn of Love had practically pinned him up against a wall and was cheerfully grilling him about something or another… probably how he felt about me. His eyes caught mine and I could see the desperate plea for help even from across the room. I waved pleasantly and went back to paying attention to Trixie.

When we were all seated for breakfast, I saw a clearly frustrated Cadance saying something to her husband from their place at the adjacent table. His smile got wider and wider before he flicked a glance my way. He leaned closer to her and I’m sure he exaggerated his mouth movements so I could read his lips. “As a friend.”

Cadance’s back went ramrod straight and she slowly turned to glare at me. I couldn’t help but let out a snicker as I touched the end of my nose with a hoof three times. Trixie’s voice brought my attention back to the table.

“Trixie understands you have had a busy morning, Patriarch Compels.”

As my eyes moved to the blue mare sitting on my left, they passed over Steady. He looked dumbfounded and was not responding to Princess Twilight’s attempts to get his attention. I smiled at Trixie. “You know what they say. Try to accomplish more in the morning than other ponies do all day.” She tilted her head slightly at the non sequitur but chose to nibble on her fruit salad rather than to say any more.

I spent the remainder of the morning inspecting the Games’ facilities and the brand new arena that had been built especially for large events like this in mind. Considering how short a time it was since the Crystal Empire returned, I was astounded at how quickly it had been built. Naturally, there were a lot of magic techniques that accelerated construction, but it was quite a feat nonetheless. I wondered how much money had been poured into it and the justification for doing so. There was no way that they could be certain of being the venue for the Equestria Games when they started. Then again, the Crystal Empire was banking on a huge tourist boom for prosperity as it had little else to offer besides its crystal riches, and you had to invest up front before you could attract the crowds. If I had to guess, it was a mixture of an astute assessment of its potential and a calculated risk. It certainly seemed to be paying off. Hotel rooms had been booked out almost since the announcement of the location of the Games. Extra trains had been scheduled to bring the spectators to the city and they were already pouring into the arena. Vendors were doing a roaring trade both inside and outside the sports ground. The Crystal Empire was certainly going to be a high-profile destination in the future, regardless of which competitors ultimately won.

My position of Princess Trixie’s right hoof stallion gained me access to all parts of the stadium. Comparing them to those that I had visited on Earth, I had to say that I did not find them lacking. I was accompanied by the new Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard Polished Barding who was inspecting the security arrangements. We both familiarized ourselves with the procedures for the opening ceremony before we returned to the castle.

Twilight was the only one of my mare friends present for lunch as the others were all preparing for the parade of athletes, either as competitors or in supporting roles. The purple alicorn was already dressed for the occasion – as in she had put on her new crown. It’s a wonder Rarity hadn’t managed to persuade her to wear something that the seamstress had whipped up just for the event, but Twilight didn’t even bother with the golden hoof shoes that she normally wore at court. Her explanation was that she preferred to project an image of approachability rather than putting herself too high above other ponies. Not what I would have recommended for most princesses, but it sure fit Twilight Sparkle.

We dawdled over the midday meal until it was time for us to make our way over to the stadium. Once Trixie, Twilight, and Cadance were settled on the thrones in the royal box, I excused myself to go down to check on the Ponyville team and Spike. It took me quite a while to find the young dragon amidst the huge crowd of competitors who were lining up to participate in the parade. Besides ponies of all kinds, there were griffons and even some minotaurs. It was the first time that I’d seen any of the latter in person, and damned if those biped bull people weren’t impressive. Let me tell you though that their females had a couple of assets that would have been the envy of Dolly Parton. Well, they were related to cows after all.

Having dealt with some griffons before at court, I was familiar with their aggressive personalities. I was a little surprised that the majority of their athletes were reasonably pleasant as their species goes. I figured that they focused most of that aggression into their sport and that would make them fierce competitors.

I eventually found Spike talking with Ms. Harshwhinny, apparently going over his role one final time. When she headed off down the tunnel that exited onto the torch platform, I approached him with a grin on my face. As we followed after the mare, I said, “So – are you ready for your big moment, Spike? After today, you won’t be just the hero of the Crystal Empire, but the public face of dragons for half the world.”

“Huh? What do you mean, Mark?”

I gestured down the tunnel through which the dull roar of the crowd could be heard. “Out there, tens of thousands of people of many species have gathered from many cities and nations to watch this event. You’ll be famous.”

Spike’s face fell as we reached the tunnel exit and he spotted the sea of faces. He gulped. “So many…”

Oops. I would never have picked the exuberant young drake for it, but stage fright seemed to be setting in. “Focus, Spike! Eyes on the prize. Don’t let it get to you.”

I don’t think I got through to him though, and before I could try again, Ms. Harshwhinny came over and chivied him out onto the platform. I was not allowed to follow, so Spike was left to stew by himself under the gaze of thousands of pairs of eyes. I did not envy him. I couldn’t do anything more here, so I decided to make my way back to the princesses before the parade began.

I barely made it back in time, but I was there to watch as the Cutie Mark Crusaders led the way for the opening parade of athletes. They did a great job, as I knew they would. No nerves for any of those fillies! It took a long time to introduce all the teams and have them march around the track, and throughout it all, Spike was sweating beside Ms. Harshwhinny. Finally, the mare made a short speech and introduced Spike. At that point, he was supposed to step up to the torch pedestal and climb the ladder to the cauldron. Instead, he did a great impression of a statue.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight murmured.

Pony ears are quite sensitive, so I caught that comment. I sidled over to her throne and whispered, “Spike has a bad case of stage fright. It started the moment that he saw the huge crowd.”

“Oh dear. I hope he pulls out of it.”

Judging by the way the Royal Guards were physically shoving the small dragon towards the torch, I had a feeling that wasn’t in the cards. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have a spell to overcome this, do you?”

Twilight’s eyes defocused as she searched her memory. “Aha! Mage Clover’s Concentration Cantrip! Triple C will get you an ‘A’,” she recited.

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t let Spike hang, Princess.”

“Oh, right!” Twilight’s horn lit up and a moment later, Spike jerked a little and then firmly stepped forward to the ladder and quickly climbed it. He paused for a dramatic moment before blowing a perfect plume of green dragonfire. The cauldron burst into flame to the cheers of the crowd. Only then did Spike suddenly become aware of where he was once more, but now that his task was done, he was able to relax. He grinned a little and waved to the spectators before climbing back down the ladder.

The entertainment began then, and a few minutes later, Spike joined us in the royal box. He gave me a wave before going over to Twilight. They exchanged whispered words and the alicorn nodded. The dragon gave her a short grateful hug before settling down on the chair that had been reserved for him. I smiled. Crisis averted and all was well. The rest of today was somebody else’s problem.

The goodwill from the opening ceremonies extended well into the evening, with the various teams mingling in mutual camaraderie and excitement for the upcoming competitions. Despite this, those athletes who had events the next day retired at a reasonable hour to ensure they were well rested. I stayed up until midnight before heading to the room in the castle that I had been assigned. As my valet, Steady had to wait until I turned in before he could do so too. I had observed with amusement how he was still a little uncertain around me. He obviously had no idea why Cadance had been grilling him about his personal feelings about me. And it wasn’t like he could just say “Hey, sir, did you give the Princess reason to think we could be a couple?” He knew instinctively I would deny it to my dying day while ensuring every moment up to then was filled with merciless teasing for him even imagining that delusions could have been true. He may have suspected he was the victim of a practical joke, but with the Alicorn of Love pushing it, there was plenty of room for doubt. Made me kind of wish I could change into Marklestia and muddy the waters a bit more. That’d teach him to “Sir” me!

After breakfast the next morning, the Princesses, Spike, the Element Bearers, and I headed off as a group to the stadium. When I asked about Shining Armor, I was informed that he had left hours earlier to stay on top of the arrangements. I wondered how his military training translated into organizing a diverse group of races, but considering how smoothly the opening ceremonies had proceeded, I suspected that he had everything well in hoof.

As we approached the gates to the stadium, I noticed that the unicorns were being directed to pass through a set of archways while all others went through normal turnstiles. I wondered why up until we reached the Security pony ticket inspectors. As part of the Royal Entourage, none of us required tickets, but I was shocked when the stallion politely asked Trixie to pass through the archway, saying, “All unicorns, including alicorns, must have their magic disabled to ensure no cheating happens.”

“WHAT?!” I screamed. “Are you bucking insane?! Whose crazy idea is this?”

The ticket-taker just raised an eyebrow at my outburst, although Princess Cadance was staring at me in shock. The stallion recovered quickly and replied, “Sir – it’s extremely important to ensure that there is no magical manipulation during the competition. In order not to show favoritism, all unicorns are treated equally regardless of rank. In any event, this does not affect pegasi such as yourself.”

“Like hell, it doesn’t affect me! As Princess Trixie Lulamoon’s Grand Vizier, I am responsible for her safety. While Captain Polished Barding is in charge of overall security, the Princess is my particular responsibility, and I will not allow her primary means of defending herself, not to mention performing normal everyday telekinetic manipulation, be inhibited. And not just Princess Trixie, but you intend to do it to your ruler too? Have you no idea what that says about the ponies of the Crystal Empire? That they can’t even trust their ultimate authority to not interfere? That they would rather have their Princess be vulnerable to every danger deliberate or otherwise because it would look good?”

The Security pony opened his mouth to say something, but I wasn’t finished yet.

“Do I need to remind you all that Equestria and by extension the Crystal Empire is in a state of war with Queen Chrysalis?” I looked at Princess Cadance and lowered the volume of my voice. “Has a foolproof way to identify changelings been developed? I don't recall anything in the security detail addressing that.”

She hesitated. “All I can say in the open is that Shining Armor has taken measures, but we are not one hundred percent certain they are foolproof.”

I expected as much. “All of the Element Bearers, the royalty of our nations and the lives of our visitors cannot be left vulnerable to attack. Beyond that, an entire stadium full of ponies would be at risk. It simply can't be justified.”

The stallion seemed set to dig his hooves in. “Sir, this was decided long ago and I have no say in the matter. This is a mere inconvenience…”

“Stop right there! Are you telling me that every single unicorn – spectators, vendors, stadium workers, invited guests, and even Security have been disabled?”

“Of course, sir. To be totally fair, no exceptions are made,” he replied.

“Then you’re all crazier than I first thought! Has no pony here heard of Occupational Health and Safety? What happens to the ability to do their jobs properly and safely? What does Security do if they have to break up a fight without getting physically involved? What happens in an emergency like a fire or an accident? Take away a unicorn’s magic and you render them as useful as a foal. They’re physically weaker than all the other tribes and they cannot fly like pegasi or griffons. They’re also less dexterous due to their reliance on magic. So, no – this isn’t a mere inconvenience. It’s a disaster waiting to happen! Back in my home town, this venue would be shut down in a heartbeat for safety violations, and I will not allow Princess Trixie to be put at risk.” I turned to look at Twilight and Cadance. “And if you have any sense, you won’t allow this either. I have no authority over you, but I implore you to reject this in the strongest terms.”

Cadance seemed stunned by my rant, and it took a while for her to recover and respond. “Grand Vizier Mark Wells, I authorized this request from the Equestria Games Committee. I thought it fair and reasonable.”

“With all due respect, Your Highness, the Games Committee is focused solely on its purview, while you and those you have delegated authority to have a much broader responsibility. You must think outside of the Games when considering drastic measures like this. And another thing…” I turned to Twilight. “As the foremost authority on magic in the world, can you tell me if there are suitable alternatives to this stupid idea?”

With an apologetic glance at Cadance, Twilight replied, “Umm… I can think of two or three off the top of my head.”

I turned back to the stallion who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else right at that moment. “So – what are you going to do about it?”

“Ah… sir… I don’t have the authority to do anything about set procedures.”

“Then how about contacting someone who does? Or just ask Princess Cadance. After all, as Her Highness said, she authorized this arrangement, so she can repeal it.”

“It isn’t that simple, Mark Wells,” Cadance said. “I can’t just unilaterally revoke an agreement with the Equestria Games Committee.”

“Then get Ms. Harshwhinny here and hash it out between you two. Meanwhile, Princess Twilight can start putting together the alternative protections, if you don’t mind, Your Highness?” I asked the purple alicorn.

“Of course! I’d be happy to do so. Anything for the welfare and safety of our citizens!”

“Great! Meanwhile, stop all unicorn admissions until this travesty is sorted out. General admission hasn’t started yet, correct?” I asked the ticket-taker.

“No, sir.”

“Good. That just leaves mostly the staff, vendors, and any athletes who have already arrived. They can be recalled to have the binding spell removed at their convenience. Now, let’s get this sorted out! Somepony find Ms. Harshwhinny.”

“I’ll do it,” said another of the Security ponies who had been very carefully staying out of the argument. He galloped away, no doubt glad to be out of the line of fire. Not that he needed to go in person, considering those earpieces that I could see them wearing, but he knew a good excuse when he heard one.

“What should the Great and Impatient Trixie do until then?” the faux alicorn asked with a frown.

I gave her a smile and replied, “I suggest that you proceed to the Royal Box as planned, Your Highness. You’re an honored guest, and this nice stallion isn’t going to stop you, is he?” I gave the pony in question a stern glare.

The stallion caved. “Please go right ahead, Your Highness, and your companions also.”

Trixie gave him a condescending smile and passed through the turnstiles. I sent Steady with Trixie to tend to her while I was preoccupied. Rarity gave me a wink and thanked me before she and the other mares followed. That just left Cadance, Twilight, Spike, and me to wait for Ms. Harshwhinny to make an appearance. I had learned how much of a hard-ass that mare was and I knew she wasn’t going to make this easy. I grinned to myself – I was already looking forward to butting heads with her.

The schedule was delayed that morning, but I got my way. All unicorns who’d had their magic bound had the spell removed before general admissions were allowed to start. Twilight set up several alternatives that, depending on the sport, either required very localized null zones, magic detectors, temporary horn rings, or other cheating prevention techniques that did not interfere with the spectators’ enjoyment of the sport. Finally, we were all able to relax and start enjoying the competitions.

I found the pony version of the decathlon the most interesting. It was divided between events that required strength, speed, and accuracy. For every earth pony or minotaur contestant that excelled at the strength events, there was an equal number of pegasi and griffons that were proficient at the speed events, even with their wings strapped down so they would not have an unfair advantage. Accuracy contests including archery, javelin throws through strong winds, and slinging rocks at moving targets were not dominated by any group. By the time the finals took place, I had noticed that the ponies in the field consisted of the smallest earth ponies and largest pegasi. When I asked Shining Armor about this, he explained that these athletes could earn 750 points out of the thousand possible in all the events. In contrast, a typical member of their tribe could get 900 points in events that matched their specialty but only 400 or so in the others.

While a griffon hen got the gold and a pegasus stallion from Manehatten got silver, an unexpected bronze was awarded to Maud Pie. She joined the Ponyville team as her closest relative lived there and her family rock farm was well outside of any city limits. She had the top scores in the rock breaking, plow pulling, and caber tossing events, but it was her perfect score with the sling in the final event that propelled her from fifth to the bronze spot. When I spoke to her afterwards, she insisted that her sling rock, named Boulder, had coached her to their combined victory, only taking a direct role in the one event. When I sincerely congratulated the small stone as well, there might have been a hint of a smile on her face for a moment – but then again, I might have imagined it. For my part, it was easier to accept that Maud possessed a stone with sentience than two-thirds of what her sister did before breakfast.

Other notable events were the steeplechase run complete with traditional saddle but no rider, fencing with a speed and grace on par with anything I had seen among humans, and the stallion’s heavyweight judo match between an absolutely massive minotaur bull and an earth pony stallion that made Bulk Biceps look diminutive. After their match completed with the nimbler pony winning on points, the stadium had to be evacuated for an hour to repair damage to the foundation caused by their repeated throws that measured somewhere in the middle of the Richter scale.

The final day of competition saw three teams in serious contention for winning the Equestria Games – Cloudsdale, Griffonstone, and Ponyville. Even after several days of intense effort, it was hard to separate those three and the crowd’s excitement at the tight finish was palpable. The aerial relay heats had eliminated all but five teams which included the trio of favorites, and the final race was about to start. My voice was getting a little hoarse (pun intended) from all the cheering and yells of encouragement that I had been giving all day, but I would scream my throat raw if I thought it would help Dash, Fluttershy, and Bulk get first place.

I had seen their previous heats and I was still impressed (and not a little envious) of how that huge stallion’s tiny wings still managed to put in a credible effort, and Fluttershy was all heart. Rainbow Dash anchored the team though and she brought them this far. But now they were up against three of the Wonderbolts, the most skilled flyers in Equestria. The prismatic mare had her work cut out for her, and she knew it. If the race had been a straight run, I had no doubt that she could pull it off, but the competitors had to navigate a series of hurdles and tubes too, bringing in other aerobatic skills. She was all grins despite this because Dash thrived on competition. If anypony could bring their team victory despite the handicap, she could.

The starting pistol fired and the athletes for the first leg of the relay took off. Fleetfoot of the Wonderbolts lived up to her name and took an early lead, closely followed by a male griffon. Bulk Biceps brought up the rear, barely fitting through some of the obstacles. Fleetfoot passed the horseshoe baton onto Soarin who proceeded to increase his team’s lead while Fluttershy patiently waited for Bulk to reach her. When they finally traded off the horseshoe, the yellow pegasus’ training obviously paid off because she flew faster than I had ever seen her manage before. She was still the second-slowest pegasus, but she was definitely holding up her part of the effort. However, by the time she passed the baton to Dash, Spitfire had a commanding lead. The colorful pegasus was undaunted, and she took off at eye-blurring speed, leaving her trademark rainbow trail behind her. The lead Wonderbolt was already on the home stretch while Dash wove her way through the obstacles, but despite Spitfire’s speed, she was up against the fastest pegasus in the world, and she knew it. She poured on the effort even as Rainbow Dash sped out of the last hurdle and shifted into high gear. The crowd held its collective breath but not for long at the velocities those mares were travelling. They seemed to hit the finish simultaneously and the spectators gasped in awe. Only the sharpest eyes could pick them apart. When the official results were posted, I groaned in disappointment – Spitfire had won by a hoof-length.

The ice archery finals were the concluding event of the Games, but Ponyville’s entry Davenport had been knocked out in the semis. Unfortunately, Cloudsdale had two competitors who made it to the finals. I say unfortunately because the medal tally had Ponyville leading the pegasus city’s team by only one – 37 to 36. Cloudsdale could either tie or win depending on the results of this last chance to score a medal.

Ice archery was a rather bizarre sport invented by pegasi to train for one of their weather-control techniques. Enchanted arrows gathered moisture from the air as they flew, removed the heat from it, and deposited the resulting ice on the target. The skill was placing the arrows such that the ice totally covered the target’s surface. A carelessly placed arrow could leave a tiny unfrozen patch that was difficult to hit with another arrow. Naturally, speed was a factor too. You could be the most accurate archer in the world and yet lose to someone who placed twice as many arrows as you. These final six archers were amazingly good at being both.

Half the targets were covered in ice when the crowd gasped. The earth pony competitor had stumbled against the bucket of arrows and fallen even as the stallion was drawing his bow. The arrow was loosed at a wild angle and flew high above the stadium where it pierced one of the clouds that were emplaced there either for shade or viewing platforms. I gaped in horror as huge icicles started growing out of it as the whole cloud froze and started falling into the arena.

Suddenly, a pink dome of magical energy expanded from the ground and stopped the aerial iceberg. Looking towards the source of the shield, I saw Shining Armor’s horn glowing brightly. His eyes were narrowed and he grimaced under the strain. I was boggled by the sheer amount of power that stallion possessed; it had to rival that of the alicorns. Considering that he was Twilight’s brother, I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising, but still…

Shining Armor started shouting commands, ordering spectators to evacuate as he maneuvered the frozen cloud to the center of the stadium. He directed pegasi to assist those in the stands that were still directly under outcrops of the ice before getting Royal Guard unicorns to start carving off chunks that overhung the seats. By the time the ice cloud had been whittled down enough to lower it safely to the floor of the stadium, several minutes had passed, but Shining bore the load steadfastly. Getting out from under it before releasing his shield was a bit tricky, but he managed it, grunting with the effort before sinking to the ground with a sigh of relief. We were left with a two-storey high block of ice that filled most of the arena, and that obviously meant that the Games were on hold until it was taken care of in some manner.

As relief washed over me, I realized that my caution had been vindicated in the most spectacular way possible. Heaven knows how many beings would have died if Shining had not been able to use his shield, or the other unicorns help to render the ice cloud relatively harmless. The stadium had incurred no damage whatsoever with the possible exception of the arena’s floor. I turned towards Princess Cadance who still looked a little shell-shocked. I caught her eye and inclined my head towards her husband. She caught my meaning immediately and had the grace to look embarrassed. I then started to head off.

Spike had been watching the event beside me and he asked, “Where are you going, Mark?”

“I’m going to find Ms. Harshwhinny and her team,” I told him loudly enough for those around me to hear. “I have one or two dozen I told you so’s to get out of my system,” I said with a grim smile. Looks like Team Wells won the final event of the Games, and I was going to collect my prize!

It was decided that the ice archery contest was null and void, which left the medal rankings at their previous standings. That meant Ponyville was the winner of the Equestria Games, with Cloudsdale taking second place and Griffonstone in third place. The presentation of the trophy and the closing ceremonies couldn’t go ahead though before the iceberg in the arena was dealt with, and there was some debate as to what to do. Melting it by application of heat was obvious but slow because too much heat was a fire risk.

To our surprise and amusement, the Cutie Mark Crusaders approached us and declared that we needed someponies with a youthful perspective to solve the problem. Intrigued, we asked for their opinions.

“Just carve some caves!”

“And slides!”

“And caverns!”

“And tunnels!”

“And tunnel slides!”

I had to admit that sounded like fun, but I doubt that Ms. Harshwhinny would approve. I was about to let them down gently when Spike spoke up.

“How about carving and stacking the frozen cloud into a gigantic statue of me – Spike the Great and Glorious?”

Twilight looked disapprovingly at her younger brother. “One huge statue of you is enough, Spike.”

“Aw!” he said with a pout before giving me a wink. “Gotcha!” he told his sister.

Twilight grimaced. “I fell right into that one, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. There’s only room for one massive ego here,” he replied.

Fortunately, Trixie was too busy ordering a hot drink and snacks to catch that, but judging by the guilty smiles of the rest of us, no one else had missed it.

Eventually, it was decided to level out the top of the iceberg and use that as the surface for the closing ceremonies, letting the ice melt naturally at a safe rate. Ponyville got its trophy, the top three teams’ contingents all got medals, and then the real celebrations began which were kicked off by a massive fireworks display. Impressed by the reaction that Spike had gotten from the lighting of the torch, Ms. Harshwhinny adjusted her plans and asked Spike to send up the opening volley. He agreed to do so, eager to put behind him the fears that had nearly paralyzed him at the opening ceremony. Twilight watched her younger brother like a hawk, but he stayed focused on his task and did his part with flair. The ceremony went off without a hitch and everyone gathered there, competitors and spectators alike, celebrated a spectacularly successful Equestria Games.

The week spent in the Crystal Empire at the Games had been an enjoyable diversion, but I was looking forward to going home and back to some quiet routine. Home? How about that? I actually thought of Canterlot as my home now. I must really be going native.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Two things I REALLY wanted NOT to go into this chapter – (1) Spike being treated like a moron, and (2) that idiotic idea of binding unicorn magic. That of course made it perfect fodder for a Mark Wells episode. I got to build up Spike and I hope to do a lot more for him in the future because I really don't like the way he was frequently used in the show. Also, as we get further away from the disappearance of Celestia and Luna, the events of this timeline diverge more and more from the original. Airy Words' major contribution (besides his normal pre-reading and editing) was the chat between Cadance and Mark. What did you think of that?

Character art is by Foxenawolf, but the background is from a screenshot from the episode. It was a major pain editing out the unwanted characters from the image, but I have a genuine stadium entrance background. Please show your appreciation by buying me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 21 - Secrets

Life settled back into a routine after the Equestria Games, which is not to say that it was all smooth sailing. Clashes between Trixie and Twilight continued to occur even as I did my best to act as a buffer between them. It’s not as if either mare disrespected the other, but rather they were of such different personalities that they could not help but rub each other the wrong way. Nevertheless, it was those very differences that Equestria needed as their different strengths enabled the diarchy to work effectively. Twilight hated the formality of Royal Court while Trixie reveled in it. The blue mare despised the paperwork, but the purple alicorn not only attacked hers with gusto; she also error-checked her co-ruler’s each day. Trixie came up with innovative ideas and Twilight analyzed them to ensure that they were practical and, if they passed inspection, directed them to the appropriate ponies or worked them into the budget for the future. Yes, they made quite a team – just as long as they weren’t together in the same room for too long. Sometimes that was impossible such as when the G&PT had to do her magic lessons. Those days were particularly exhausting for me. Thank heavens for weekends!

Every Friday afternoon, I would catch the last train to Ponyville. I had made permanent arrangements with the railway company to reserve a private compartment for me, and my status even bought me a few minutes grace once when I was running late and they delayed the departure until I arrived. There were a few big tips that day. Sometimes Steady Flight would accompany me. As my best friend, I enjoyed his company although I encouraged him to spend some time with his own family on the weekends. That was a little selfish of me, I admit, because I wanted to spend a little mare time as Marklestia. Having gotten a taste of perfection in flight, I couldn’t let it go anymore, and frankly, I enjoyed being something other than my klutzy self occasionally. That was one thing that no other magic seemed to be able to cure, although I was slowly improving my flight abilities as a stallion with Steady’s ever-patient tutelage. Why my skills and experience refused to transfer to my male self when I transformed back, I may never know.

Hanging out with the girls was always fun whichever form that I was in. Sometimes one couldn’t be available for some reason or another, especially Rarity whose efforts to grow her business would occasionally take her away from Ponyville. I heard that she was working towards branching out with a store in Canterlot, and I certainly could see why she would choose that locale. However, on the latest trip to the capital, she had found the time to visit me at the castle. I was delighted to entertain her there for once, but upon seeing her sly smile when we took afternoon tea in the privacy of my quarters, I got the sensation of a trap closing. And that’s why I was now packing up to go to Ponyville to give another fashion show for my friends.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come along with me this time?” I asked Steady again. He was my only hope for an excuse to bow out of modeling Rarity’s latest designs after the fashionista had browbeaten me into agreeing.

“Nah, I have other plans,” Steady replied. “Some friends want me to go with them to a special event, and it sounds intriguing.”

I sighed. I couldn’t blame him for doing exactly what I kept telling him to do on the weekends. Just why did it have to be now? “I’m sorry we won’t get to hang out this weekend,” I said as I finished packing my bag and slung it over my back.

Steady helped me fasten it securely into place. “Don’t sweat it, Mark – once you’re with your friends, you definitely won’t miss me.”

As I headed out the door, I told him to enjoy himself. He replied, “You too, Mark. Break a leg!”

What the heck did he mean by that?

The next day as I entered the boutique, Twilight gave me a hug in greeting then removed my wristband.

“First of all, this would clash with your coat during the show. Secondly, I have a new and improved version! The old one had the exact same problem we were trying to solve, just on the upper half of the magic storage range. Version 2.0 draws expanding black bands from the outside inwards when you are above 50%. The red line will get thinner and thinner until it disappears.” She looked up at me meaningfully.

“And that’s when I disappear.”

“A bit more spectacularly than that. Just don’t let that happen. The other feature is that the band will prevent your cells from discharging at a rate faster than you can control. When the entire band starts glowing slightly, you'll know that is happening. This also means you need to take longer to discharge your excess. You can monitor it with the band, but discharging from a 50% charge will take a couple of minutes now.”

I nodded. “Thank you for looking out for me, Twilight.”

She beamed. “That's what friends are for, Mark!”

I nodded fervently as we made our way to the backstage area of the catwalk that Rarity had set up. There we found the mare working on last-moment preparations for the show. From previous experience, I figured it would be at least an hour before the show would start, which is why only the three of us were present so far in advance.

“Mark, darling! Are you ready to make the magic?” Rarity asked as she came up to give me a hug.

“Only for you, Rares,” I replied, hoping that I would get over my bout of stage fright like I did last time. Right now, I hoped changing into Marklestia would help settle my nerves.

“Just a moment,” Twilight said as she lit up her horn. “I want to monitor the transformation process this time.”

I had not noticed before, but Twilight had brought the colander and printout machine up from her basement. I sighed and dutifully took the former pasta strainer from the hold of her magic and placed it on my head. The machine beeped to life and the paper roll in the machine started to scroll rapidly.

Twilight faced the machine, twisted a couple of dials and called over her shoulder, “Okay, I’m ready.”

I suppose I should have been relieved that she wasn’t wearing her padded lab coat and goggles this time. I shrugged and uncorked my bottle of potion, noting that it was getting a little low from all the occasions that I had used it. I drank a dose and felt the magic take hold of me.

When the transformation was complete, Twilight rolled the scroll back a ways and studied it. She spoke up with a distracted tone. “Interesting.”

“What did you find?” I asked in Celestia’s pleasant cultured voice as I put the colander onto the top of the machine.

“Your cells were in an intermediate state for around 20 milliseconds. They didn't read as pony cells at all.”

“Do you think they were human cells?”

“Maybe? I don't know. Hmmm…” She looked me over. “And your mane and tail are back to their regular length. That answers that question.”

I looked behind me to see that she was right and that Rarity was giving a little happy dance. Obviously, she had been counting on this to best show off her outfits.

Twilight turned off her machine and headed for the main room. “I need to set up the camera and speak-and-see crystal. I'll have to go over my data later, but for now...”

Rarity grinned possessively and finished Twilight’s sentence, “…you belong to me.”

I seriously started to reconsider the whole idea, but of course, Rarity was all business while getting the new outfits fitted and finished over the next hour. It kept my mind off the upcoming parade up until it came time to trot out the first outfit made from pink silk and black lace. I balked at the curtain when I saw two rows of ponies waiting in the audience. The Element Bearers were lined up on the back row of lounge chairs, while Steady, Trixie, and Raven relaxed in the front row, saying nothing but watching me expectantly.

I felt my ears droop as I quickly retreated back to Rarity. I could tell I was hyperventilating. “Trixie, Raven, and Steady are out there! What are they doing here? I can't go out there now!”

Rarity frowned and gave me a disappointed look. “Mark, do try to pull yourself together. They are here because I invited them.”

My mouth hung open as I stared at her in shock. I had never felt so betrayed.

“Tell me, darling – do you trust each and every one of them with your life?”

I looked down and thought about it as I got my breathing under control. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Your time as Celestia is an important part of your life in Equestria now. If you think of all three of them as close friends, why haven't you seriously considered letting them see you as you truly are when in this form? Don't you trust them that far?”

I really hadn't expected this to be thrown back into my face. I thought about it while my heart stopped racing.

“I... I don't know. I just... I'm afraid. I don't want to be humiliated, and that's how I feel right now.”

Rarity came up and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on her withers while I felt my panic slowly ebb away.

“That's not going to happen, Mark. Not in my shop.” She stepped back so she could look me in the eyes. “Princess Trixie wrote me a very polite letter asking if she, Raven, and Steady could attend your next fashion show, saying that the three had already made a Pinkie Promise to keep your moonlighting job and form a secret.”

I shouldn't have been surprised, but I still jumped when the aforementioned pink mare walked out from behind Rarity. “Completely true!” The Element of Laughter strolled past us into the main room.

Rarity continued as if nothing had happened. “After they arrived, they took an oath to all six of us not to do anything to make you feel embarrassed. If they do, Applejack has promised to buck them out of the shop and all the way to the train station.” I winced. “In Trixie's case, she went as far as to threaten to kick her through the marble walls of the palace for good measure. Bit of history there, I think.”

I sat on my rump as I processed everything. Then my eyes narrowed. “Who blabbed?”

“According to Trixie, it was Steady Flight.”

I blinked.

“Something about photos not being hidden very well and discovering them while cleaning up your mess.”

I facehoofed and groaned. His odd behavior was making a lot more sense now. He'd been dropping hints the last couple of weeks and I'd completely missed them. As far as pranking me back for tricking Cadance into interrogating him, I had to admit to myself this was epic payback.

After I had recovered, I glared at Rarity. “You could have just asked me beforehand.”

The fashionista sighed. “You are a very stubborn stallion, Mark Wells. Do you think you would have been so honest with your feelings unless you were confronted with them?”

I ground my teeth for a moment. She was right, of course. Then I stopped and looked at her appraisingly. “Wait. So is this one of those ‘Friendship Lessons’?”

She smiled. “Perceptive as always, dear. So now you have a choice. You can continue with the show or cancel it. It is entirely up to you. Exactly how much confidence do you have in your friends – all of them?”

I considered the bonds I had developed with Steady, Trixie, and Raven during our months in Canterlot together. All the hours spent in court, serving the nations ponies, flight lessons, defending Trixie’s crown, everything. I stood up. My hooves danced on the floor as I exercised my muscles — trotting, hopping, and flapping around as I built up my enthusiasm again. My head and neck bounced up and down and I snorted at nopony in particular. Rarity sat quietly as I moved around the room. After a couple of minutes, I had worked up a bit of a sweat and felt focused again. I turned to the alabaster mare. “OK. Let's do this.”

She nodded and came up to whisper in my ear as I panted from my recent exertion. “You are fearless. You are about to show your soulmate exactly how beautiful you are.” I nodded my head and repeated the mantra to myself, feeling the mindset of a confident mare start to take over me and guide all of my movements. I then pushed through the curtains and owned that stage!

This time, I felt my self-awareness return when Rarity and I were standing side-by-side on the makeshift catwalk at the completion of the show. Her flank was pressed against mine and I realized that might be what drew me out of my trance. Everyone in the audience was clopping their hooves together and wore enthusiastic smiles.

Rarity called out, “We have new members in the audience tonight. I would like them to give us their thoughts. Be completely honest please – we are all among friends here.”

Everypony looked to Trixie first. For once, she seemed to be at a loss for words.

“Ummm…”

The stares from all the mares present started to get a bit harder.

Trixie sighed. “Thank you for sharing that part of yourself with us. You should never be ashamed of who you are, even if you only let yourself go like this on rare occasion.” She looked up at me and the rest of those present gauged me for my reaction.

I smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Trixie. That means a lot to me.”

Raven spoke next. She was so energized that she had gotten out of her chair and was practically jumping up and down. “That was incredible! I loved the fashions! I don’t have to wish anymore that I could have seen Celestia dress up more than once per year for the Grand Galloping Gala. So thank you both for that!”

Rarity beamed and flipped her mane.

All eyes turned to Steady Flight, who was still gaping. An unsympathetic hoof to the side from Trixie seemed to break him out of his stupor. “Mark, that wasn’t you. I mean…” He waved a forehoof in front of him as he tried to formulate his words. “…I mean I got to meet Celestia briefly and had a pretty good impression of her personality from attending Day Court a few times. What you just showed us… the emotions and bearing you had… that just wasn’t you, and it certainly wasn’t Celestia, either.” He put his hoof down. “It was like there was a completely different pony on stage that I had never met before.”

I laughed. “But I’m back now.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I can see that. You returned just a minute ago.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed. “You just think so. Wait until you have a chance to fly with him now. You won’t recognize him all over again.”

The terror I saw on Steady’s face was probably mirrored on my own. He shook his head. “No thanks! I’ll take your word for it!”

I likewise demurred. “Yeah, I’ll pass, thanks.”

The rainbow-hued mare glanced between us, then shrugged her shoulders. “Alright then, your loss. All the more for me.”

I reached out a wing and pulled Rarity in for a side hug. “Thank you again, Rarity. It’s your generosity that allowed me to enjoy these moments… plus maybe giving me a boot in the plot when I needed one.”

The fashion mare smiled and closed her eyes as she rubbed her cheek against mine for a moment. In the audience, I saw Fluttershy blink a few times. “Darling, this is exactly what friends do for one another.” We shared a smile and I realized suddenly how close my lips were to hers. The noises in the room fell away. Time seemed to stop and I was only aware of the purple-maned mare.

A new voice cut through the comfortable silence. “Yes, bravo! Hooray for Friendship and all that!” I snapped back to reality and looked up to see Discord applauding from a lounge chair on the ceiling. “Great job, everypony!” He disappeared with a flash to be replaced with a confused Rarity now nursing a margarita from his former spot overhead. I felt his lion’s paw wrap around my withers. “I do hate to pop in and run, but I have a friendship problem that requires Mark’s unique perspective. Ta-ta!”

Before I could struggle out of his grasp or do more than open my mouth in protest, the world went inside out for a moment. It was something like the teleportation I had experienced with Twilight, but turned up to eleven, with trippy colors thrown in for that extra added bit of insanity. When it ended, even then I wasn’t sure if reality had completely re-exerted itself because I found myself inside the most insanely designed house that you could imagine. Singing teabags floated in formation through the air. Glowing blue origami cranes flew in the other direction. Lava flowed on the ceiling. And that was just the start of the lunacy! If I wasn’t with the Lord of Chaos, I might have thought that I was going crazy.

Discord blinked and asked, “Why are you wearing that?”

I glared at him. “It’s Rarity’s. I did a fashion show of her designs.”

“You did? I guess I wasn’t paying attention. Show’s over – I’ll return it.” With a snap of his talons, I was back to being nude… well, except for the patches covering my cutie marks.

I realized he must be pretty distracted to be this unobservant. “What do you want, Discord?”

He frowned, one of his eyelids twitched, and he patted his hand and claw together. For the first time, I saw him look less than one hundred percent confident. “Well, I have this personal problem and I realized maybe I had been going about it all wrong. You see…”

With a flash, I found myself leaning back in a burgundy Queen Anne leather high back chair (thanks for the antique lessons, Phil), a notepad in one hoof and a quill in the other. My legs were crossed and I was positioned to look down over Discord who was reclined on his back on a low couch in front of me. I glanced at the notepad. In uneven letters, the words on it spelled out, ‘JuST plAiN NuTS!’

The draconequus waved a paw. “It started soon after I was released from my stony prison. Over the course of the ensuing months, the feeling got stronger and stronger. But… no matter what I do…” his voice dropped off, his ears drooping.

I sighed then finished his sentence. “…no matter what you do, Fluttershy continues to treat you just as a friend and doesn’t ever seem to see you ‘that way’. ”

He blinked up at me in surprise. “You knew?”

I snorted. “Discord, I think Fluttershy is the only one who doesn’t, but none of her friends wants to interfere.” I paused. “I’m a bit surprised that you came to me with this problem.”

He waved his claw dismissively. “Take it as a measure of my desperation, then. Plus, you have your pick of dozens of mares and stallions.” I frowned but he didn’t look back this time. I supposed he was not trying to be insulting. He continued, “I just have the one. And yes, I’ve discussed this with the Pink Princess of Passion. She recommended just telling Fluttershy, but for all that alicorn knows about love, she doesn’t know the Element of Kindness very well.”

He sighed. “How would I know whether Fluttershy is just being nice out of pity or true affection? I really, really want Flutters to realize on her own how she feels about me, if that would even be possible. Well, how I hope she feels about me.”

I frowned and set the notepad and quill aside. “I find myself agreeing with Cadance on this. Fluttershy is honest, Discord. She deserves for you to deal with her honestly, as well.”

Discord was silent for some time. “I know,” he said. “And what is most important to me is her happiness. But as long as you keep waffling like the popular girl in high school who can’t decide which date gets to take her to prom, that still means I have a chance.”

I didn’t like the analogy, mostly because it sounded more accurate than I wanted to admit. “Actually, I was about to choose Rarity just before you kidnapped me for this little talk.”

“Reallllllly?” The mismatched creature leaned out of his couch and held his talons up, ready to snap them. His eyes were very bright.

I smirked. “But you had to interrupt. The moment’s gone now.”

He deflated and lay back down. “Harrumph! Figures. I’ve always had a lousy sense of timing. Goes with the job description.”

“Look, Discord – you must know much more than I do because you can presumably access all the self-help books both here and back home.”

“…and in a billion more universes, mortal. For every tidbit of advice, there is an opposing view.” He proceeded to change his voice for each sentence. “Treat her like a princess… Treat her with no respect at all… Buy her something she always wanted… Whatever you do, don’t buy her anything… Become what she idolizes most… Be true to yourself…” He sighed and returned to his normal voice. “Fat lot of good omniscience does when all the advice is contradictory.”

I leaned back into the chair. It was very, very comfortable. “Tell you what. In exchange for this chair, I’ll give you my best advice.”

The couch and he poofed away, to be replaced with a copy of the same chair with Discord sitting in it. He was smoking a pipe and dressed in a deep red jacquard smoking jacket over black silk pajamas. He nodded sagely for me to continue.

“How well do you know her? Have you asked about the moment she got her cutie mark? How much do you know about her family and how she grew up? Have you learned the names and personalities of all the animals she cares for? If you want to be that much a part of her life, you need to really get to know who she is… without creeping her out!” I suddenly remembered stalkers. “Just don’t go poking into anything she would consider intimate; you know, anything she would rather you ask about rather than find out through spying on her, past or present.”

I looked at my hooves for a few moments while I thought. “Look, if you commit yourself to do something special, she might see you differently because of all the time and effort you put into it. When have you seen her the happiest, or the most emotionally involved in what she was doing?”

The Lord of Chaos’ eyes widened and a grin appeared on his face. “Yes! Yes, I think that might do it! It will take some doing to not just snap my claws and make it happen, but I believe I can arrange it.” He beamed at me and clapped his hands. My chair disappeared and I fell to the ground on my rump with a painful thump.

Discord said, “Thank you again, Monseigneur Wells.” His smile turned a bit nasty and I was sure the lighting in the room darkened. “And may the best male win.”

The world turned inside out again and I was on Rarity’s stage once more. Discord was standing on my left, still with his arm around me. His firm grip kept me from falling over in my dizziness. Rarity waved at Discord from her spot on the ceiling while Twilight was directly underneath the fashionista. The alicorn’s horn was glowing and she had a puzzled look on her face.

“Discord, darling! You have to give me the recipe for this drink! I simply must serve this at my next fashion show.”

The draconequus waved back as he handed me a bottle pulled out of his ear. “I’m sure Mark here can mix up a batch for you. Well, we had a l-o-v-e-ly chit-chat, but now I must be going. More special order furniture to deliver. Busy, busy, busy!” With a snap of his talons, he was gone once more. Rarity floated gently to the ground in Twilight’s magic. The alicorn even managed to not spill a drop of the fashion mare’s drink.

I looked over the bottle. The label was missing but raised letters in the glass declared “JOSE CUERVO – 1795 – HECHO EN TEQUILA.” It seemed Discord had a taste for some items from my home world. If he was unwilling to send me back, I wonder if I could ask for some buffalo wings next time?

With a flourish of trumpets sounding from who-knows where, the burgundy chair appeared behind me and I sank into it with relief. It was just as comfortable as back in Discord’s house, and I wriggled in pleasure, grinning from ear to ear at the audience. “Gotta hand it to the Lord of Chaos – he has the comfiest furniture!” Surprisingly though, no pony appeared to be envious of my new acquisition.

“Mark, dear,” said Rarity. “Is that a leather chair?”

I blinked. “Yes? … And?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Leather is a banned material except for a very small allowance used for specialized applications. You do know that some cows are sapient here in Equestria?”

Rarity nodded. “I’m afraid it just isn’t legal to own such an item, despite its obvious refined appearance.”

I covered my face with my forehooves and groaned. I just couldn’t win. “But they aren’t in my homeworld! That’s where this chair comes from!”

Trixie strode up. “Never fear, Spark Seashells. The Great and Clever Trixie knows exactly how to dispose of your evil monstrosity.”

I gripped the arms of the chair possessively. “No! Anything but teacups!”

She smirked. “Your wish is granted.”

I glowered. I didn’t want to be here, but I wasn’t going to let this happen without me seeing it off.

With a flourish, Rarity removed the drape covering the beautiful chair that was fated to never again feel my sit-mark. The griffon ambassador next to me gasped. “Lady Rarity! What a marvelous piece of furniture! The artistry and craft put into its design are without equal.” Well, at least she had good taste.

The griffoness looked up. “You outdo yourself, even with your title as Element of Generosity. I simply cannot accept such a fine gift.”

I interrupted. “Ah, but first you should try it on for size before turning it down, don’t you think, ambassador?”

She turned to look at me, then to Rarity who motioned for her to try out the chair.

Hesitantly, the griffoness did so and sighed contentedly. “Oh, this is even more comfortable than I had imagined.”

I nodded. “There is something about a finely-crafted leather chair that defies easy description. The way it molds around you and grips you just so. The smell of the tanner’s art combines with the incomparable cool feeling of leather. I do hope you can enjoy it the way it is meant to be enjoyed.”

Rarity walked up to my right and cocked an eyebrow at me briefly then turned to face the chair and its very happy occupant, if her purring was any indication. “Indeed. Griffons have been friends to Equestria for generations. This is a small way our kingdom expresses gratitude for our alliance.”

I knew Ambassador Redfeather was sold. Ah well, maybe the next set of trade negotiations would be a lot more favorable to Equestria.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

ART CREDITS:
Lingerie Celestia by Longinius II – https://www.deviantart.com/longinius-ii
Celestia by Fantazyme – https://www.deviantart.com/fantazyme
Sexylestia by Shachza – https://www.deviantart.com/shachza
Discord's house – Background with Discord: Show Asset. Celestia Vector by Mihaaaa https://www.deviantart.com/mihaaaa

Next chapter — a certain centaur comes calling.

Chapter 22 - Centaur Crisis

Between my work and play both in Canterlot and in Ponyville, life was pretty fine although I still hoped for some good news regarding the portal. Twilight had used a complex spell that reintegrated the four broken mirrors, restoring them to their previous physical states. Unfortunately, they were all now just mirrors. The enchantment that turned them into portals to another world could not be similarly repaired, nor any useful trace of it be found. Magic-wise, we were back to square one. Twilight was researching as much as possible into the creation of portals, but it was such an obscure and arcane art that she was making little headway. The craft of making mirror portals had not been taught for centuries. The reference materials Twilight could find were lacking, even in the restricted sections of the Canterlot Archives and in the now fully catalogued but only partially explored library in the Castle of the Two Sisters. The purple alicorn explained that mages of great power would enchant their personal tomes to combust when opened by any pony else after their death. Only trusted disciples would be taught a portion of the secrets within. After a time, the only ponies remaining with the lost knowledge were the Royal Sisters. So unless Star Swirl the Bearded returned from his mysterious exile, Twilight was stuck trying to reinvent a lost art. I stopped asking for updates when it became apparent that the alicorn was struggling to give me any positive news. If she had a breakthrough, I was sure that I’d be the first to be told.

I was determined to not let that get me down though, so I made every effort to enjoy myself. The work was fulfilling, and my personal life enjoyable. I had it a lot better than several human acquaintances that I had known back on Earth, and I wasn’t going to be hypocritical and whine about my circumstances here in Equestria. Yes, this world was pretty nearly idyllic. However, it’s a pity that I didn’t follow up on Twilight’s cram session by reading more of its history.

The first we knew about the world-shattering disaster that was encroaching upon my happy life was a telegram from Baltimare. We had lost contact from a couple of small towns recently; ponies who had been dispatched to investigate had failed to report yet. The reason only became clear when the message arrived from the telegraph office. It read:

‘EMERGENCY STOP CENTAUR STEALING MAGIC FROM ALL PONIES STOP SEND HE—’

The telegram was abruptly cut off. Hopefully, the operator had not been killed while trying to warn us, but Twilight did not reassure me with the alternative.

“We are creatures of magic, Mark. Without it, we weaken and eventually die. Right now, there could be hundreds or even thousands of helpless ponies just lying around too weak to help themselves. If they don’t die of magic-deprivation, they could die of thirst or exposure.”

“What kind of monster would do that to innocent ponies?”

“The worst kind,” Twilight replied with a grim set to her face. “I seem to recall an old tale about a magic-stealing monster long ago. I’m going to check the records.”

While the alicorn was gone, Trixie called an emergency meeting of the nobles and the high-ranking military commanders. She also sent a telegram to the Crystal Empire to warn Cadance and Shining Armor about the threat. I made a note to myself that if we got through this peril, I was going to get some smart ponies together and invent the telephone. Equestria could not be forced to rely on the few who were skilled with telegraphic messaging to bring timely messages to the authorities in the future.

By the time Twilight returned, General Forthright had given orders to dispatch troops to Baltimare. When I queried what they could do against an enemy who could steal their magic, he stiffly asked me if I intended to just lie down and wait to be conquered. That shut me up quickly. I knew next to nothing about military tactics, and if nothing else, they could buy time for the rest of us to come up with a better plan. Certainly, some scouts could get back to Canterlot with some detailed intel that would help with that.

“I know who we’re up against, and it’s bad,” Twilight announced when she returned. “Centuries ago, a centaur named Tirek and his brother Scorpan came to Equestria to take its magic for themselves. If his brother had not grown to appreciate Equestria’s ways and warned Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, Equestria could have been lost. However, between the three, they overcame Tirek and banished him to Tartarus. Now it seems that he has found a way to escape, and this time we didn’t get any forewarning.” Twilight finished in a somber tone. “Tirek doesn’t just take a pony’s magic – he ingests it to grow in power. If he’s reached the point where he’s draining the population of an entire city, he may already be too strong for any of us to cope with.”

“Stronger than even an alicorn?” I asked incredulously.

“I fear so. At this point, I believe that if Cadance and myself together with the Guild of Mages were to combine our magic, we might have the power to overcome him. It depends on how quickly Cadance can come here and how much magic Tirek steals before then.”

“Hopefully General Forthright’s troops can get Tirek to waste some power… if they don’t end up feeding him even more,” Trixie said sourly.

A thought occurred to me – a truly desperate thought. “Umm… I really, really hate to suggest this, but might not there be someone who can match Tirek in sheer power? And by that, I mean Discord?”

Twilight looked shocked. “You can’t be serious?!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of sending just him, but he’s terribly fond of Fluttershy. If she accompanied him to try to persuade Tirek to give up his plans, maybe his protectiveness of her will keep him focused. And if things go bad, his chaos magic could trump Tirek’s.” And, of course, make him look good in Fluttershy’s eyes as a bonus.

Twilight stomped a hoof, making the entire castle tremble. “No! I won’t risk Fluttershy on such an outlandish plan. Discord has done little since his release into her care to convince me that he would really be interested in helping us. He is simply too unreliable. The risk is too high.”

I arched an eyebrow at the alicorn. “Higher than letting this Tirek monster come here and steal everyone’s magic? At least his actions are unambiguous.”

“Are Discord’s any less? After all, he did stand by and do nothing when the plunderseeds invaded, despite knowing their origin.”

“I know, but he helped when pushed to do so. Also, he didn’t take an active role in opposing us as he might well have done so. Like I said before – he’s mischievous, not evil. A thousand years ago, he didn’t have someone to give him bounds or a reason to care. Now he does.”

I got a lot of stares from everyone in the room, some dubious, many disgusted, none enthused including myself. I shrugged. “I admit that I’m grasping at straws here, but has anypony got a better plan yet?”

“Yes, actually,” Twilight said. “I’m going to go to the Everfree Forest with my friends and try to retrieve the Elements from the Tree of Harmony.”

“And what if the tree won’t relinquish them?” I pointed out.

Twilight grimaced. “Let’s just keep Discord as a last resort, okay?”

As much as they disliked the idea of asking the Lord of Chaos, the alternative was worse, so it remained under consideration. Frankly, I was rooting for Twilight to succeed too.

Word came back by dragonfire that Twilight and her friends had failed to retrieve the elements. I wish I could say I was surprised, but that particular McGuffin had been played out already. Desperation led them to try my idea, and to the surprise of everyone (and me too, a little), the butter yellow pegasus had persuaded Discord to help. Trixie and I could only wait and hope for good news.

Everything had gone wrong. We didn’t know what was said, but the centaur had been undeterred. Discord had promised to keep Fluttershy safe and take down Tirek by himself if negotiations failed, but instead, they had both been drained and imprisoned. The follow-up by the ground and aerial troops was a farce. The crystal recording brought in by a pegasus scout described how the ponies fell helpless without most even getting close to the monster. Ranged weapons might have been of far more use, but Tirek rarely stayed still in one spot for long, giving the military no chance to bring in their artillery, such as it was for this era.

Then the situation just got worse. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity insisted on trying to rescue their friend, and Twilight wholeheartedly agreed with them. At least she managed to get them to wait until Cadance and Shining Armor arrived via the Crystal Express. Telegrams had been sent ahead so that the track between Equestria and the Crystal Empire could be cleared for the high-speed locomotive, and the royal train pushed safety limits to get to its destination in half the usual time. The two alicorns, Shining, plus all the most powerful unicorn mages had left to confront Tirek. Equestria might have been better off if they had never done so. Although they put up a strong fight, Tirek quickly whittled down their numbers until even Twilight was overwhelmed. The scout who reported the disaster to Trixie barely escaped the rout.

I wished that had been the last of the bad news. The scout had also learned that Tirek was headed for Canterlot to steal Celestia and Luna’s magic now that his power was great enough to overcome theirs. He apparently hadn’t heard that they were missing, or chose not to believe, preferring to think that they had gone into hiding to avoid him. It didn’t matter – he was coming here and all that stood between him and total domination of Equestria was a faux alicorn with some fancy stage magic. Imagine my shock when said pony declared that it was her royal duty to defend her little ponies. I would have been proud of her too, but this was no time for heroics.

“Trixie, we have to retreat. We’ve got to fall back and try to make plans to defeat Tirek. He’s looking for the Royal Sisters right now, not you. You staying to meet him is pointless and will likely get you killed.”

“No!” she retorted grimly. “This is the Great and Responsible Trixie’s place. She will not shirk her duty!”

I grabbed her and started dragging her toward the balcony. “It’s called a tactical retreat, you stubborn mule!”

“Unhoof me, Shark Stairwells!”

Her horn lit up, but I was ready for that. I gave the horn a sharp rap near the base as I had been taught in unarmed combat lessons. Trixie yelped in pain and stopped resisting for the moment, and I brought her out onto the open deck. “Climb aboard,” I ordered her.

“What? No! I’d rather face Tirek than ride you again!”

“Well, I have no intention of that happening. Your safety is my primary concern, not to mention mine. Suck it up, Princess, or I’ll do this the hard way.”

Trixie glared at me furiously but I didn’t give an inch. Eventually, she growled and said, “Fine! But Trixie will have words with her impertinent vizier later.”

She climbed onto my back, making no effort to spare me any pain from her hooves. I ignored that and waited until she said she was ready. I checked the power band around my fetlock – about 80%. I had been letting it build up in anticipation of possibly needing the extra power. I was going to make good use of it now. I took off like a cannon shot.

Weeks and weeks of practice had improved my flying skills, but they were still woeful in comparison to most pegasi. I had just the one advantage – with all that extra magic behind my efforts, I was fast and my new power band regulated my output. As long as I didn’t have to deviate from a straight line, I could just about match speed with any pegasus short of Rainbow Dash. Of course, when your destination approaches at that same crazy speed, it’s just a trifle terrifying. Trixie’s screams were extra loud this time. I don’t know why – she got to teleport to a safe stop. I settled for being slowed down by the foliage of a copse of trees before tumbling to the earth. Remarkably, it turned out to be one of my less painful landings, and I hastily righted myself and cantered off to rendezvous with Trixie. We had to find the mayor of Ponyville and start planning our next move.

Sometimes I thought that the citizens of Ponyville had gotten way too blasé about all the dangers that their village had dealt with. While there had been a number of panicked ponies who locked themselves away in their houses, a huge number of them were here in the town hall hotly debating with Trixie about how to deal with Tirek without their heroes. I sat in the back listening to them suggest lame ideas and ineffectual defenses, but as I couldn’t come up with anything better, I chose to keep my mouth shut and try to think.

“Do ya know what happened to mah sister, Mark?” came a familiar young voice.

“And mine too?!”

“And Rainbow Dash?!”

I looked around to see Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all looking at me expectantly. I couldn’t bear to tell them the whole truth. “They all went to confront Tirek but they failed to stop him.”

“What are you going to do now?” Sweetie asked.

“What am I going to do? It’s not up to me. I just give advice and try to protect Princess Trixie. I just don’t know what anypony can do against a monster like Tirek.”

“Maybe Zecora might know a way?” Apple Bloom suggested.

I gave her a sad smile. “I’m not sure what one zebra can do to a magic-eating centaur.”

“Zecora doesn’t use magic spells though. She makes potions,” Scootaloo pointed out.

“They’re still magic though,” I replied.

Sweetie Belle spoke up, “Twilight says Zecora’s magic is totally different from pony magic.”

“Besides,” Apple Bloom said, “some of her potions are just natural ingredients prepared in a special way.”

My eyes widened as I was struck by a revelation. Tirek consumed raw magic, but Zecora’s potions were of a totally different nature. We could have been going about this the wrong way the whole time! “Girls – I think you might have just turned this battle around. I’m going to visit our resident shaman right now.”

The three fillies cheered and clopped their hooves together. “Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader Monster Fighters!”

#

I don’t know how Tirek found out that Trixie had gone to Ponyville as I had not informed anyone of my intentions to come here, but perhaps someone had seen us depart. Whatever the case, a scout had spotted the giant centaur headed our way. I say, giant, because apparently draining the magic of all those powerful mages, two alicorns, plus one draconequus had caused Tirek to grow considerably. I prayed it wouldn’t affect my plans.

I had spent the evening brainstorming with Zecora, and she had stayed up all night preparing a very special potion. Of course, it was untested, but we had no choice but to hope that it worked as desired. The trick was going to be administering it, and considering how ineffective the Equestrian military had been, that was by far the weakest factor in my plan. The most terrifying one was that I happened to be the optimum pony to deliver it, and that was because of my little secret. Fortunately, Tirek was just as ignorant of it as the citizens of Ponyville, and I intended to make the most of it. I just hoped that I wasn’t killed trying.

Trixie and Mayor Mare stood beside me. It hadn’t been easy persuading the mayor and the towns’ ponies to go along with my idea, but when Trixie threw the weight of her authority behind me, that had cleared the way for my plan.

Above me on the rooftops, about twenty pegasi waited to take off and attack Tirek, ostensibly to defend Ponyville, but in reality, so I could study how Tirek reacted. They were under no illusion that they had any hope of stopping the centaur, and in fact, it was possible that they would be drained of their magic before even reaching him, but they had volunteered anyway. They were already heroes in my book. If all went well, they would not have to cope with their loss for long. I just hoped that they didn’t try anything foolish that would get them hurt before being rendered helpless.

“Tirek has reached the checkpoint,” announced Cloud Kicker from her vantage point on a nearby rooftop.

I checked the power band one last time. It was ominously dark with only a thin red line across the center indicating that I was near the limit of my capacity. I was going to need every drop of that excess magic today. “Okay, everypony, Operation Stop That Centaur has begun,” I spoke loudly for everyone to hear. “I’m going to reveal my ace in the hole now. Only the Element Bearers and a select few others know of my secret, but I’m entrusting it to you now.” I took the bottle of poison joke potion that I had tucked under my wing and took a swig of its contents. I felt the effects take hold and my pegasus senses expand. There were gasps of surprise and mutters from perplexed ponies.

“Your Highness!” exclaimed the mayor. “How… why…?”

The mare had prostrated herself before me. I sighed but wasn’t surprised. “Mayor Mare, please get up and look at my cutie mark. It hasn’t changed. I’m still Mark Wells and although I look and sound like Celestia, I assure you that I’m not even a real alicorn. I’m not a princess, but I can fool Tirek into thinking I’m the one that he’s looking for. Trixie – please put those patches over my cutie marks now.”

Despite my words, the mayor and the other onlookers still looked doubtful even as Trixie applied the patches bearing Celestia’s cutie mark that I had fetched from Rarity’s boutique. Respect for the royal alicorns was very deeply ingrained. It didn’t matter as long as they did their part.

“Cloud Kicker! Begin your team’s attack now!”

The pegasus shook herself and refocused on the job. “Let’s go!” she shouted, and a flock of the winged ponies rose to join her in a charge towards the lumbering monster.

Those pegasi were not a military unit, but as members of the local weather service, they were used to working as a team. The makeshift weapons they carried were for appearance only and they had no real expectations of damaging the centaur with them. From the reports of previous encounters with Tirek, I knew approximately how close they would get before he started ingesting their magic, but before they reached that distance, they split into four sub-groups and powered off in different directions. Thus when they got within range, Tirek could at most face two of the groups. It did little good. Tirek merely laughed as he saw them attack.

“More foolish ponies come to feed me!”

He opened his mouth and started to inhale. The pegasi in his sights immediately started faltering. I’d advised them to make sure they weren’t too high above the ground when they attacked so that the fall would not be far when they lost their flight magic. Thankfully, they had taken my advice to heart, although I still winced as I saw them hit the turf. It took only a few seconds for them to be drained, but in that time, the two remaining groups had closed in. One hit high with pitchforks and crowbars while the other hit low with axes and mattocks. I thought that maybe they had actually accomplished something and my hopes soared for a brief moment, but Tirek merely grunted, his gigantic form nearly impervious to their attacks. He quickly drained the magic from one retreating group before turning to do the same to the last group before they could get out of range. Our first offense was over almost as soon as it had begun. I had learned what I needed to know though, and unfortunately, it was bad. I had hoped it would have taken longer. Right now, I dearly wished that Twilight was here so that she could teleport me into range, but she and all the unicorns capable of that had already succumbed to the centaur, and Trixie could barely teleport just herself maybe a hundred yards. Of course, if the alicorn had been here, I’d get her to deliver the secret weapon and I’d stay safely back with everypony else. But no, I had to do this the hard way.

Tirek stopped just outside of town and looked around. “Come out Princess Celestia, Princess Luna! I know that you’re cowering here among these puny ponies. Come out, give me your magic and I’ll spare your subjects.”

Yeah, like anyone really believed anything Tirek promised. That was my cue though. I spread my wings and lifted off from behind the concealment of a hedge. I did not charge at him as the pegasi had done. I approached as if I was acceding to his demands. Tirek noticed me and he smiled nastily.

“Wise move, Celestia. Your sister had better follow. I will not settle for one alicorn’s magic.”

I kept my steady approach but answered Tirek to try to buy time. “Luna is nearby and will come soon enough. Just do not harm My Little Ponies!”

Tirek’s horns flared and suddenly three bubble cages appeared. I recognized Fluttershy and Discord in one; Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor in another; while the remaining Element Bearers were in the third. They all looked ghastly from the effects of being drained of their magic.

“Your fellow alicorns and friends are still alive. Give me your magic and they will stay that way.”

I nodded as if agreeing and kept approaching him. Tirek opened his mouth and I knew what was coming next. “NOW!” I screamed, surprised at the sheer volume that I managed.

A dark cloud in the sky above Tirek suddenly shot a massive thunderbolt straight down at the centaur. He howled in pain and anger before his horns lit up. A ball of flame appeared between them and he fired a huge blast at the cloud, dissipating most of it. Fortunately, the pegasi that had carefully and surreptitiously maneuvered it into place before triggering it on my signal had already taken off at top speed to get out of range.

Meanwhile, I had poured on all the acceleration that my Celestial body could produce. I had to take maximum advantage of the ambush because Tirek wouldn’t be distracted for long. Sure enough, I hadn’t even closed half the distance between us before he started turning to face me again. He began to power up once more, but just before he released his magic firepower, I dodged to the left. The beam of energy missed me by only a couple of yards and blew up something behind me, but I had no time to look at what it was. My new flight path turned him away from Ponyville, hopefully sparing it and the helpless citizens from being blasted.

From that point, it was a matter of me frantically ducking and weaving, barely avoiding being fried several times but getting ever closer. I silently thanked Rainbow Dash for all the practice that I had gotten with her that gave me the familiarity with this body to enable it to perform at its best and keep me alive. Just a bit nearer and I could use my weapon. Then I got careless. I failed to consider a physical attack, and his gigantic palm slapped me out of the air. I tasted blood before I hit the ground and rolled. If I hadn’t been a pegasus, I’d probably be a broken mess, but I was stunned long enough for Tirek to grab me in his massive fist. He drew me up to eye level, laughing at my misfortune.

“You should not have done that, foolish alicorn. Now I will take your life after I have taken your magic.”

He opened his maw and I immediately felt power being sucked out of me. The worst thing though was that my forehoof was trapped in Tirek’s grasp and so was the secret weapon that it held. I screamed in pain as it felt like my soul was being ripped away.

Abruptly, Tirek stopped ingesting my magic. He furrowed his brow and looked at me closely. “What is this? Your magic doesn’t taste right, almost as if it isn’t alicorn magic at all. Not quite pegasus magic either.”

I didn’t know magic had a taste, but I’m glad it did because he quit just before I was drained completely. I had to stall him. Maybe I could get him to monologue. “Even if you drain my magic, you'll never win, Tirek. The Magic of Friendship will defeat you.”

Tirek laughed uproariously. “Friendship? Let me tell you what friendship has done for Equestria.” His free hand gestured to the floating prisons. Tirek continued. “Friendship caused all of your friends to selflessly attempt to challenge me. All fell before me and gave me their magic.” He frowned. “No, Princess – their sacrifices were in vain. The truth is what I learned from my brother ages ago. Friendship is weakness. And now, for opposing me, all your friends will watch you die, Princess.” He opened his mouth to suck in my remaining magic.

I heard Pinkie Pie's voice cut through the air. “That's not Celestia!”

Everypony looked at her in horror and gasped.

Tirek stopped and turned to her with a scowl. “What do you mean?”

Pinkie Pie pointed a hoof. “That's just a white unicorn mare with a mane dye job. I'm 99% sure.”

Tirek opened his fist to examine me closely and I sprawled on my right side on his open palm. His eyes narrowed as they studied my form.

Pinkie brightened. “Oops! My bad! That’s Princess Celestia, alright!”

“No matter, for her magic is mine!”

He started inhaling my magic again, but I was free to move at last. Thanks, Pinkie! Before I could be rendered helpless, I struggled to my hooves. Directly under the stream of magic that was being pulled from me, I hurled the small ball that I had been holding all this time into his face. The glowing magic that enshrouded it was drawn into his maw along with my own and I saw its magic shell dissipate just as it entered Tirek's mouth. I was elated for mere moments before I keeled over to my left as the last of my magic was ripped from me. I felt like I had run a marathon or two and was now weak as a kitten from exhaustion, but that wasn’t the only effect I noticed. I was a small stallion once more.

The centaur's voice rumbled like a mountain avalanche. “WHAT DECEPTION IS THIS?”

I started thinking quickly as Tirek was probably on the verge of killing me as he had promised. “You fiend!” With a monumental effort, I lifted my head and glared at him. “Is this your idea of a sick joke?”

Tirek pulled back then tilted his head slightly. “Uh ... Nooooo?"

Oh, thank the stars! I had managed to derail his train of thought. I struggled to sit up. “Not only do you steal the magic from all of My Little Ponies, but you also transform me into this?” I paused to stare where the cutie mark patch had been ripped off of my right flank in my struggles. I gaped as if seeing it for the first time and then turned back to stare daggers at the centaur. “And what did you do to my cutie mark? And where's my beautiful horn?”

Tirek looked decidedly uncomfortable now.

“Uhhh....”

I scraped together enough energy to yell at him as I tried to stand up. “I was also a mare! I swear to Faust, Tirek! Where are my—”

“We’re done here,” said the centaur as he dropped me.

I yelped in surprise as I fell the remainder of the way to the ground. I extended my wings, but without any magic, they had little effect, barely slowing my plunge. I landed next to a copse of trees that had been denuded of their leaves by one of Tirek's blasts, hitting the ground hard. I cried out in pain, but at least I hadn’t been killed by the fall. That condition looked as though it would quickly change as Tirek raised a hoof to stomp on me. Helpless, I cringed and waited for the blow.

Instead of oblivion, I heard a loud gurgling emit from the monster’s belly and he bent over, clutching at his torso. I started to smirk. “What’s wrong, Tirek? Ate something that disagreed with you?”

“Be quiet, fool! My power is boundless! I will not allow– *hurk*.” Tirek’s hand flew to his mouth as his cheeks bulged. A colorful viscous effluvium squirted from his nose. He wiped his face with the back of his arm and growled. “What have you done, wretched worm? You shall—” He doubled over, slapping one hand over his mouth again and plugging his nose with the other. The lurid spew squirted out of his ears instead, his eyes as wide as saucers. He heaved again, this time clamping his hands over ears and clenching his jaw trying to hold it in. He failed utterly and a gusher of rainbow-hued vomit poured out of his mouth… and onto me. There was no stopping it now. Time after time, Tirek puked and the waves of multi-colored liquid kept inundating me. However, each time he disgorged another flood, I noticed that he shrank in size. He was regurgitating all the magic that he had consumed which had given him his huge form. Zecora’s special potion that had been the core of my secret weapon was doing its job admirably.

I felt my magic gush back into me and I tried to stand up. I was knocked off my hooves again by yet another torrent of the disgusting vomit as Tirek shrank even more. It kept coming faster and faster and I closed my eyes to endure it. Then I noticed that something was wrong. My power was still growing, and I suddenly realized that my faulty pony form was packing in the raw magic at a prodigious rate. I felt my body surge and when I opened my eyes, I was Marklestia once more. If that had been the only thing that happened, I would not have been worried, but the magic-infused effluvium that coated me was pouring its power directly into me. I looked at the power band around my fetlocks and saw it had already passed through the red stage and was about to hit fully black! I leapt to my hooves to try to get away from the danger, but my hind legs skidded on the slimy fluid and I fell. As I tried to get up again, my body surged with the pent-up power and I yelled in pain and fear. It grew worse, – I felt an agonizing wave of heat sweep across my body and I knew I was about to die. I threw back my head and screamed as the pain grew unbearable.

Abruptly, there was a release of pressure and the landscape lit up as power gushed out of me in a rainbow torrent from my horn. My useless, non-active appendage was suddenly a fully functional conduit for the excess power which streaked up into the sky and spread out in rings as far as I could see. The magic was returning to its true owners. As for me, everything faded to black.

Waking up was a surprise. I thought for sure that I was going to die from the magic overload. Somehow, I had been saved that fate. I noticed that some ponies were washing the nasty spew from me and that it had lost its colorful look. The magic had been drained from it completely. A pity the physical remnants didn’t disappear too. I saw a scrawny centaur only about twice my size now not far away. He was bound with magic-absorbing bonds that prevented Tirek from regaining his lost power. Judging by the look and color of his face, he wasn’t yet recovered from the emetic that I had administered. The townsponies apparently had no problem restraining him once he had puked up all his stolen magic.

As for me, I was still Marklestia and a pseudo alicorn which, judging by the nearly reverential way the Flower Sisters were bathing me, everyone still thought I was. After this performance, I guess I was going to have a very hard time convincing them otherwise.

Upon noticing that I was alert once more, Roseluck asked with much concern, “Are you okay, Princess?”

Yep. I was screwed. Still, I had to try. “I’m feeling fine now, thank you, Roseluck, but I’m no Princess.” That might have sounded more convincing if it didn’t come out in Celestia’s regal tones. I needed to get my reversion treatment soon!

“You’re awake, Dowser! The Great and Concerned Trixie was worried about you!”

I turned to see Trixie looking uncharacteristically uncertain and distressed. I got to my hooves, careful not to knock over the mares attending to me. “Thanks, Princess, but it seems a magical vomit bath was the worst that happened to me,” I replied with a grin.

Trixie frowned at how flippantly I was treating the situation. She lifted a hoof and started poking me in the chest. “Don’t you dare do something so insanely dangerous again. Trixie needs her stallion and Equestria needs its Grand Vizier!”

“Yes, Princess,” I replied meekly, happy to get everything back to normal again. I don’t think even the faux alicorn realized how close to death I came. I wasn’t eager to repeat the effort; I might not be so lucky next time.

A shout drew my attention to a flying purple alicorn coming in for a landing. Apparently, Twilight and everypony else had recovered their magic and been freed.

“Mark! What happened?! How did you vanquish Tirek?!” She paused as if just realizing something. “And why are you in that form in front of everypony?”

“Long story, Twilight, but basically I gave him a tummy-ache.”

The alicorn mare blinked in incomprehension. “You what?”

“I’ll tell you later. The important part is that Tirek is defeated and everypony has gotten their magic back. And I have the horn-ache to prove it.” Actually, that was the first time that I realized that my horn was indeed feeling painful. I had just thought of it as a headache until then, but it was definitely focused in that appendage. That was very odd because, up until now, it was an insensate part of my Celestial form. I was really just a trumped-up pegasus despite my appearance.

Apparently Twilight also found that extremely strange. “Why would your horn be hurting?”

“I suppose it’s because of all the power that I released through it after soaking it up from Tirek’s puke.”

“That shouldn’t be possible. Lean down, please.”

I lowered my head and she touched her horn to mine as she had once done some months ago. I felt a distinct momentary thrill of energy and Twilight jerked back.

“I don’t know how, but your horn seems to be fully functional now. My diagnostic spell detected a completely normal unicorn matrix within it.”

My jaw went slack with shock. “Does this mean…?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, you’re still not an alicorn, but it seems that you can take in and utilize unicorn magic now. You can’t feel any affinity for the earth, can you?”

Having briefly been in Twilight’s alicorn form courtesy of Discord, I knew exactly what she meant. “No, I don’t. And I certainly don’t feel like I’m alicorn-level powerful either.” At least, not now that I had released all that power. “So, what am I now? A unisus? Pegacorn?”

Twilight laughed. “What you are is my laboratory subject for the next few days!”

I gulped. Crap. No good deed goes unpunished. I really wanted to be plain old Mark Wells again.

There was a flare of power and suddenly I was a green stallion. I blinked in surprise as Twilight and Trixie gaped at me. “Huh? That’s new.”

Before we headed off to Twilight’s place, I secured a promise from Mayor Mare to keep my secret and ask the rest of the citizens of Ponyville to do the same. I suspect that she still doubted that I was not an alicorn, but as long as nopony blabbed, I was satisfied. As we walked back into town, I noticed all the ponies whom I had met and become familiar with over the weeks resuming their normal lives. I suddenly realized that I knew them all by name by now, or at least most of them. I saw one nondescript earth pony whom I wasn’t familiar with entering an alley and an equally ordinary unknown pegasus fly out of it later. Odd. I suppose I couldn’t know everypony yet. As we turned a corner, Twilight stopped so abruptly that I barged right into her in my distracted condition. Her earth pony strength anchored her to the ground and I bounced off her, nearly falling over.

“What happened to my home?!” Twilight wailed.

The poor library tree was reduced to little more than a stump, a slightly singed Owlowicious perched on a remaining broken branch. The sole power blast from Tirek that had gone Ponyville’s way had hit the purple alicorn’s home with extreme prejudice. I was hit by two conflicting emotions: sympathy for my friend’s loss of everything she held dear, and terror at the memory of the blast that had passed just feet away. That could have been me!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Another major milestone in Mark Wells' new life. But what about Twilight's new castle? Umm... oops?

Spectacular art by Mix-up.

Chapter 23 - Homes

I finished spacing out and came to in my lounge chair. I had my robe on over my pajamas and the footrest was up. My slippers had fallen off at some point but I was too lazy to take my chair out of full-recline mode to get them.

Through the window, I saw the neighbors’ white picket fences and perfectly manicured lawns, just like mine. I spotted Phil taking his recycle bin to the curb and waved. He saw me and waved back. Boy, I loved that guy.

I looked back at the newspaper in my hooves… I mean hands and couldn’t really make out anything. Odd. I guess I really did need glasses. I turned to the comics just inside the back page and was happy to see that they were in perfect focus. Andy Capp and Peanuts never got old.

“Honey, I made your favorite!” I heard from just in front of me. I lowered the paper and saw…

“Pinkie Pie?!”

It was true. The pink mare was right there in my living room, smiling her perpetual friendly smile. “What are you doing in my house?”

She giggled. “Making sure you get enough to eat, hubby wubby!”

Wait, what?

She held a monster-sized pan of probably sixty chocolate cupcakes under my nose. “Germane chocolate frosting over triple chocolate cupcakes with molten fudge centers!” Warm, fuzzy feelings replaced my confusion. OK, those sounded and smelled pretty awesome, actually.

I reached out to grab a couple. The earth pony laughed. “Save some for our kids, silly!”

I felt a chill grip me and I froze before I touched the first cupcake. There were that many of them? “Kids?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Of course!” She turned to an entryway that I knew led to the rest of the house. “Come on in, girls!”

“Girls?” I wondered in increasing panic. I fumbled for the lever on the reclining chair so I could release myself from my polyester fiber prison, but I couldn’t find it on either side.

Small, pink copies of Pinkie Pie started pouring out of the entrance on every surface: floor, walls, and ceiling. Each pronked along and the mass started to converge on me like a cloud of locusts. As they appeared, I heard Pinkie drone on. “There’s Pinkamena, Pinklestia, Pinkalicious, Pink Album, Pink Rheus, Pinky Panky, Pinkerdoodle…” Her voice was drowned out by the swarm converging on me, each one calling out, “Daddy… daddy… daddy…”

As they all started to jump onto the chair with me, everything began to go pink. The last sight I saw was Phil standing outside the front window, pointing at me with one hand while the other held his sides. He was laughing his ass off.

I jerked awake to find Pinkie Pie leaning over me with a cupcake in hoof.

“Hey, dreamy stallion! Tell me what you think of my super-duper-quadruple-chocolate wakeup cupcake!”

I was lying back in a Divan with the rest of the Elements of Harmony groggily waking up around me. Trixie was sound asleep, using my barrel as a pillow.

Looking back to the cupcake, I had no doubt this was a German… or Germane… chocolate masterpiece worth dying for. Not being stupid, I took it in my hooves. “Thanks, Pinkie, but please stay out of my dreams; they are weird enough as it is.”

She laughed as she bounced away. “You are soooooooo funny in the mornings, Mark! I can tell you’re just kid-, kid-, kidding!”

I remembered retiring back to the royal wing of the palace with all my friends and making several attempts to get the margarita recipe just right. I also had tried to outdrink Rainbow Dash and Applejack but found that my Marklestia form gave me no extra stamina and was the first to drop out. After changing back to my stallion form, I just sipped the excellent Sweet Apple Acres hard cider until Rainbow slid gracelessly under the table, snoring in defeat.

“Well are all y’all gonna just laze the day away? Sun’ll be up soon an’ Ah don’t wanna waste it.” The orange mare was dusting off her Stetson and looked exactly zero percent worse for wear. Glancing over at a yawning Twilight, I saw her hop off of her couch with pep in her trot and a big smile.

Everyone else present groaned. “Too loud!” protested Rainbow Dash, pulling her sofa cushion over her head. Rarity tried to cover her ears with a couple of margarita glasses – thankfully empty.

I tore off a quarter of the cupcake and waved it menacingly. “Not everypony has earth pony constitution, you three. Not even remotely fair.” I popped it into my mouth and chewed. Delicious! My head was pounding and I seriously considered using the hangover cure potion. Today was a holiday in celebration of Tirek’s defeat (good thinking, Trixie), so maybe I’d just suffer through the morning instead. “What time is it anyway?”

Twilight’s horn lit for a moment. “About fifteen minutes until sunrise.”

I turned and waved the remainder of the cupcake under the nose of the blue mare draped on top of me. She opened one eye and it focused on the treat in front of her. “As your princess, Trixie orders you to unhoof that captive cupcake. Trixie hereby decrees that it is the property of the crown… specifically mine,” she added as she belatedly realized that this referred to more than one princess now.

Twilight made a sound of mock protest. Trixie glared at her. “Trixie is sorely lacking in vital minerals and vitamins that can only be found in chocolate.”

“I’ll give you half the cupcake if you get up now,” I said.

The blue mare’s horn started to glow. I brought up my hoof as if to strike the base of her horn. Her eyes went wide and the aura winked out. “You wouldn’t! Not to a mare with a hangover!”

I smirked. “My job is to help you perform your royal duties. And it is your turn to raise the sun, assuming the Guild of Mages is in better shape than all of us this morning.”

Twilight trotted past, her nose held high. “I was going to offer to perform the sun-raising ceremony today, but since you are in such an unfriendly mood, I suppose you’ll do it after all.”

Trixie groaned and fell back in the couch, holding a hoof to her forehead. After a few seconds, she slowly rolled off of me and onto her hooves, swaying slightly with her eyes still closed. I held out the remaining three-quarters of the cupcake. The scent enticed her to gently eat it out of my hoof, licking up the last crumbs. She sighed and started shakily making her way towards her chambers, only opening her eyes after jostling the couch.

Twilight bit her lip. “Trixie, I could teleport you there, if you like.”

“Celestia’s sake, no! My stomach is having enough trouble as it is. Besides, I’ve been in worse shape after spending a night celebrating. I should be able to make it there in fifteen minutes.” After leaning against the doorframe for several seconds to get her bearings, Trixie staggered down the hallway.

Meanwhile, Applejack’s not-so-subtle prodding was producing the desired results. Soon, a grumpy and disheveled group of Equestrian heroes were digging into pancakes, toast, jam, and lots and lots of coffee. I saved a cup for the blue princess but she apparently decided to sleep it off after performing her royal duties.

There was still a couple of hours before the next train to Ponyville would head out, so by mutual consent, we returned to the sitting room, which had now been thoroughly cleaned and set back aright. One thing I appreciated about the castle staff – they were very discreet and gave us our privacy immediately after finishing their duties. Sure, if you needed something, you’d have to chase somepony down, but on the plus side, all of us could speak freely.

Rainbow Dash looked me up and down. “So, when are you going for the trifecta, Mark? You’re already most of the way there.” Without waiting for an answer, she turned to her purple friend. “Hey, Twilight! Do you think you could blow him up again? After all his moaning and groaning this morning, I think he could use some earth pony to toughen him up.”

I remembered no such thing! Before I could respond, Twilight said, “Until I can get my lab back up and running again, I won’t be able to tell exactly what has changed about his new form.” She looked at me. “Does your wristband still work?”

I tapped the device. It displayed a green bar showing I was at around fifteen percent.

Twilight nodded. “Keep using your boot to regulate your charge until I say it’s safe not to.” I nodded. I was all about self-preservation.

“Whatever did you do with that Chair of Horrors Ah heard about, anyway?” asked Applejack.

“Gave it to the Griffon Ambassador. Funny you should ask that, Applejack. Back on my planet, the professions that use leather the most are farmers, furniture makers, bookbinders, and clothing makers.”

The orange mare tilted her head and said dryly, “Really?”

“Yep. Saddles, horse tack, chaps, whips, gloves – which are basically hoof covers.”

“Hmmm…” The earth pony squinted her eyes and looked off in the distance. “Ah suppose Ah could see the utility in a material that hardy, if’n it didn’t come from where it came from.”

Fluttershy turned to Rarity. “Is it true that… that animal skins can be used in fashion?”

Curiously, the alabaster mare said nothing. Wanting to fill the silence, I answered the yellow pegasus. “Absolutely: Belts, purses, skirts, pants, jackets, corsets I suppose. There are a sheen and suppleness to leather that no synthetic material can match.”

Now the fashion mare’s silence was getting very noticeable as she stared downwards impassively. Rainbow Dash moved up right next to her, studied her face for a moment, then broke out in a huge grin. “You’re blushing!”

The mare spun so quickly to face the pegasus that Rainbow almost got brained by the fashionista’s horn. Rainbow’s quick reflexes saved her. “I am not!” protested Rarity. Her cheeks turned even redder.

“Oh, my,” said Applejack with a growing smirk. “Our sweet innocent unicorn mare has a… ‘thing’… for leather.”

“Absolutely not true!” said the object of everypony’s attention, her face getting redder by the second.

I couldn’t help myself. “Don’t feel bad, Rarity. I should have known this would happen.” She cocked an eyebrow at me. “All those days with the forbidden piece of furniture in your shop, tempting you, calling you to enter its forbidden embrace.” Rarity sat a little straighter. Now her neck was starting to show color.

“Tell me, Rarity, were you tempted to cut off a piece for a fashion project you had dreamed of for ages but never thought you would have the opportunity to actually try?”

“I would never!” she gasped, holding a forehoof to her chest.

“I didn’t ask if you did, I just asked if you were tempted.” She went back to sitting up straight and staring down at the floor. I smiled. “Was there any excess material on the bottom of the chair, Rarity? Or did you replace the underside of the seat cushion with a large patch of fabric? That is a common way that seats are constructed, so no one would ever notice the difference.”

Every ear in the room was perked up fully and pointed towards the Element of Generosity. She said, “I will not deign to respond to this conversation any longer.”

Pinkie Pie came up and pulled her friend into a hug. “Now, now, Rarity. There’s nothing wrong with liking what you like. Plus, now I know what to get for your next surprise party!”

The fashionista’s eyes went wide and her jaw fell open. Then she just deflated like a popped balloon. Everypony laughed and came up to give her hugs and assure her she was still loved.

With no court today due to everypony dealing with Tirek’s destructive aftermath, I basically had been told to take the day off while Trixie and Twilight worked together with various department heads to fix things. That they could cooperate so smoothly was a miracle in itself, and I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, pun intended. I really needed the time-out and I used it to spend the morning with my friends until they had to catch the midday train back to Ponyville. Steady Flight was absent due to him taking a leave of absence to check on his parents’ welfare, their hometown being one of Tirek’s victims. I was left with nothing to do, so I headed back to my room, perhaps to do a little reading.

I lay on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, my mind a jumble of thoughts. I’d been like that for over an hour since I got back to my quarters and I couldn’t get motivated to move. Turns out that with nothing to do but think, I started getting depressed. That’s how Twilight eventually found me after the Royal Guard at my door let her in. Apparently, Princesses trump mere Viziers, even when the latter just wants to be left alone.

“What are you doing, Mark? I thought you would still be celebrating the victory over Tirek like everypony else.”

“Didn’t feel like it, Sparkles,” I replied dully.

Twilight sat herself down next to me. “Why would that be? You have more reason to party than anyone as it was your strategy that won the day.”

“I almost died, Twi. Twice. Tirek was about to squish me like a bug, and I nearly shat myself from fear. Then I absorbed all that magic and I would have exploded if my horn hadn’t suddenly started working. Have you ever felt so much power that it starts to rip you apart?”

“No, I haven’t. I suspect that you were trying to contain an alicorn’s amount of power in your faux alicorn body, and it’s a miracle that you survived. But you did, Mark. You went into that fight knowing that you could be hurt or even killed, but you emerged virtually unscathed, and even improved!”

I snorted derisively before concentrating for a moment. My body was enveloped in a brief flare of magic and I was suddenly in my Celestial form.

“You can definitely change at will now?” Twilight asked.

“Yes,” I replied in Celestia’s dulcet tones. “Easiest magic I can do right now. I can even tweak my form to suit.”

“I noticed you have the short mane-style that you tried weeks back. It doesn’t affect your stallion form when you change back?”

“Nope,” I replied, demonstrating it for her by returning to my normal stallion form. “The mane comes in full-size if I don’t think about it. Or the opposite extreme – I can make it stop waving around completely and have it hang like a normal mane. It turns an even pink then though. I didn’t intend that.”

“I believe that was Celestia’s natural mane and tail color before her power grew so much that it took on its current look. Anyway, that seems to me to be another reason to be happy about how things worked out.”

“Happy? Is that what Harmony wants me to be?”

Twilight blinked. “Huh? What are you talking about, Mark?”

“I mean… I fall into this world and almost immediately I start gaining friends, and not just any ponies but the Element Bearers. On top of that, I become an Element Bearer myself, weaving me so deeply into the fabric of Equestria that I can never leave. Then I get a new form that suddenly compensates for my faulty body, and it is bucking perfect! And even though it’s female, I’m more than comfortable with it. How can I not feel that the Magic of Harmony is crafting me to literally be Celestia’s replacement? And not only does that not deter any of my new friends, but it also seems to make me even more desirable. It may have taken a long while for it to sink in, but don’t think I haven’t noticed how you mares have been looking at me lately.”

Twilight blushed a little before starting to reply. “But isn’t—”

“Wait! I haven’t finished. So, not only do I have a perfect body, but now I can change into it at a whim and customize it too! How convenient! Everything laid out on a platter for poor Mark Wells, stuck as a pony in a world where he doesn’t belong. Let’s make him so happy that he forgets about going home!”

Twilight looked shocked. “But… isn’t happiness what everypony seeks?”

I surged to my hooves and stared down at Twilight from my vantage point on top of the sofa cushions. “I am not a pony! I am a human being!” I roared. Then I sighed and covered my face with a hoof. I settled down on my stomach as I regained my composure. “I was a human, but I’m afraid I’m losing my humanity – losing sight of what it means to be Mark Wells: a bipedal ape-descendant person from a world where the only magic is trickery. Day after day, I find it harder to recall what it felt like to walk on two feet, hold things in my hands, or manipulate them with my fingers.” I flicked my ears. “Moving these things is second nature to me now, as is my tail. I’ve become so acclimated to this world and this body that I feel like I’m being assimilated by the pony Borg.”

Twilight looked thoughtful for a long moment. “I don’t know what this Borg is, but I’m sure of one thing – you are still the same Mark Wells that I met shortly after you came to our world. You’re the same thoughtful, considerate, helpful, intelligent, and above all, friendly person. That hasn’t changed in the slightest in spite of everything else that has taken place. Nothing has happened to you that you didn’t bring upon yourself. The girls and I make a big thing about friendship because it’s such a powerful force in our world, but nopony said that you had to make friends with us. Nopony told you to eat the poison joke. Nopony forced you to enjoy your new form with your friends. And certainly, nopony or force made you risk your life for them. Good things do come to good people, Mark Wells, and you’re one of the best that I have known. It’s no wonder that mares find you desirable. This isn’t Harmony trying to force you into our mold – it’s all you. You earned your happiness, Mark.”

“And what about me losing sight of my humanity?” I retorted.

Twilight gave me a half-smile. “It seems to me that humanity and equinity are pretty interchangeable. You didn’t really have to learn how to fit in because you already knew how. Oh, sure! There are a huge number of minutiae that you’ve had to learn and still more in the future, but they’re just the fine details that make us interesting. Our fundamental values are still the same. And once you get back to Earth, I’m sure you’ll pick right up where you left off.” She smiled slyly. “You might have to get used to wearing pants again though.”

It was my turn to blush, especially when I saw where her gaze currently lay. Of course, I knew she was making a point of it, but I couldn’t resist anyway. “Don’t worry, Twi – I’m not going to start covering my firm plot in the meantime to preserve my humanity.”

Her blush matched mine as we regarded each other for a very long moment before bursting out in laughter.

After a bit, the purple alicorn turned serious. “Mark, there were never two beings more woven into every aspect of Equestria than Celestia and Luna – and yet, now they are gone, possibly forever. You are not permanently trapped here. If they could leave, so can you.”

I couldn’t poke any holes in that argument, so I nodded.

“Mark, is the problem really the form you are in or the people you miss? If you were able to regain your human body, would you want to stay? Or if your friend Phil were here with you, is there anyone else back there that would be worth giving up the life you have here? I understand that you miss your home and are afraid of it slipping away, but I want you to think about this differently. What specifically is worth the sacrifice of giving up your friends and life in Equestria and why?”

I looked at my forehooves and considered. She was right. I had been thinking about loss from only one direction. I would need to re-evaluate my priorities. I looked up and smiled at my friend.

“Okay – now that you’ve spoiled my perfectly good blue funk, why did you really come to my room?” I asked.

“What can I say? We missed you. Besides, lots of ponies want to meet the hero of the day. There’s even talk about awarding you a medal.”

“No, thanks. Not unless everypony else who helped me gets one too.”

“See? That’s the Mark Wells that I have known since the start. You really haven’t changed where it counts.”

“Thanks, Twilight. Sorry for yelling at you, by the way. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine – I understand. And while I hope you get to go home someday soon, I hope you won’t mind if we appreciate the pony you are right now.”

“I think I can live with that.” A thought suddenly occurred to me and I snickered.

Twilight gave me a suspicious look. “What was that about?”

“I just realized something. You have competition.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just before you arrived after I defeated Tirek, Trixie called me her stallion. I don’t think she even noticed saying that. It only just dawned on me too.”

Twilight goggled at me. “Trixie likes you that way too?!”

I arched an eyebrow at her. “Too?” I smirked.

She just blushed more and hurried towards the door. I followed, feeling much better. It was good to have close friends, but they were going to have to up their game if they wanted to claim this single stallion.

The next day was back to work, but not quite as normal. With her home destroyed, Twilight moved into her quarters in the palace on a semi-permanent basis until an alternative was decided upon. Unfortunately, the majority of her laboratory equipment in the basement was damaged although her immortal microscope didn’t even get singed. Twilight explained this was because of Germane engineering. In any case, testing my changed condition and several of her side projects were put on hold for now. This meant that she could devote more time to palace duties, and both Day and Night Courts were held for a week. However, this was more out of necessity than opportunity because Canterlot was flooded with ponies seeking help for problems caused by Tirek’s assault on several towns and cities. Both Princesses worked hard to get through the throngs of petitioners, and Raven and I were kept extremely busy as a consequence. However, as many of the problems that were brought up were of a similar nature, we developed solutions that were applicable to the majority, and by the end of the week, the schedule returned to some semblance of normality.

I was glad to be able to head off to Ponyville along with Steady Flight to have a well-earned break. My valet and friend had worked hard too, keeping me fed and refreshed and going on errands for me during the busiest time of my life. We both needed a couple of days without having to worry about anything more difficult than what to have for breakfast.

Thankfully, Rarity had the sense to realize that I would not be in the mood to be a fashion model for her this trip, and even Rainbow Dash agreed to wait until the following day for some flying time. Spike had organized an Ogres & Oubliettes full-immersion game though with Discord. You might think I’d want to avoid a battle-themed game after fighting a real one so recently, but because the only consequence for a ‘death’ in the game was disappointment, I could enjoy the challenge along with Discord’s special effects.

I managed to get Steady involved in the game too. He was a bit leery of the draconequus, but he mellowed as the adventure proceeded. I found that my attitude towards Discord had improved also. I was beginning to truly understand him now, and I realized that a being of Chaos needed to be kept involved and entertained to keep him from being annoying. His recent attempt to help with the Tirek situation had been motivated by friendship, especially with Fluttershy, and I think the Element Bearers had been vindicated in their decision to release him from his bondage shortly before I had arrived in Equestria. As I had said to others before – Discord was not an evil being. Just don’t let him get bored!

Several days later, the Ponyville Town Hall thronged with ponies, both noble and common, there to attend a ceremony to honor those instrumental in vanquishing one of the greatest threats to the realm in centuries. As the site of the victory, this town was chosen over Canterlot to be the venue for the celebration, but many important lords and ladies still chose to travel to this small community for the event. I stood among the crowd while both Princesses occupied the dais. Not only was I not needed to be at Trixie’s side, but I was one of the ponies for whom the crowd had come to see honored for their part in defeating Tirek. I would have preferred to just let it go as a highlight in history, but Equestrians loved their pomp and ceremony, and they wanted to see the heroes who had saved them from a terrible fate. I wasn’t given a choice in attending when both Trixie and Twilight ganged up on me and commanded me to attend. Pushy mares! Anyone would think they ruled this country or something.

The Ponyville contingent was gathered close to the dais. Cloud Kicker and her volunteer pegasi were all there, as was Zecora. The zebra looked uncomfortable amidst the crowd around her. I knew she liked her solitary lifestyle, and she preferred dealing with only a few visitors occasionally. She was a little overwhelmed right now, but Equestria needed to publicly acknowledge the contribution she had made, so she had agreed to go along with it despite her normal predilections. Of special note was one unusual spectator. Discord stood beside Fluttershy, looking a little impatient as we all waited for the ceremony to begin. Ponies were giving him plenty of personal space, and I could hardly blame them. He had only agreed to come because Fluttershy had gently but persistently asked him to.

The event began with a fanfare of trumpets by the Royal Guard. With the crowd’s attention now focused, Trixie stepped forward to start the ceremony.

“Mares and gentlestallions, today we are gathered to honor those ponies by whose outstanding efforts, Equestria was saved from a foe that threatened every being, a fiend who regarded us as little more than a source of magic that he craved for the power that it gave him. Tirek was a true monster, draining ponies of the magic that they needed to survive, and then left them to suffer. Many were too helpless to even do anything as simple as drink or eat, or get to shelter. Tragically, many ponies died as a consequence, and the Crown extends its deepest sympathies to those who lost loved ones.”

Twilight then stepped up beside Trixie and continued the speech. “However, today we celebrate those whose actions saved many more from that sad fate. Knowing full well that they could be badly injured or even killed, they nevertheless took action against Tirek at his most powerful and won the day. For this, Equestria can never fully repay them, but we can give recognition for their courage and loyalty. The first that we honor today is the stallion whose bold strategy worked where others had failed – a pony who didn’t merely give orders but who led the offensive and nearly paid the ultimate price for it. Mares and gentlestallions, I give you Lord Mark Wells.”

That was my cue. I stepped up onto the podium as the crowd cheered, even those who had never met or seen me before. It was a little daunting. I stopped in front of the Princesses and Trixie held up a medallion in the glow of her magic. She gave me a proud smile and I gave her a nod in acknowledgement. She then spoke up for the benefit of those listening.

“Lord Wells, in recognition for your victory and loyalty, the Diarchs of Equestria proclaim you to be Knight of the Realm, and by this token hold authority only second to the Crown.” As she moved closer, I saw that the platinum disk had the raised images of the day and night alicorns chasing each other. A row of stars were similarly embossed in circles inside and outside the two figures. She then placed the medallion around my neck.

I was shocked. They hadn’t told me about this part. I had only expected the medal that the others would be getting. Why had they done this? I had never wanted this much authority. I was quite happy just being Trixie’s advisor. The princesses weren’t finished yet though. Twilight spoke up next.

“Sir Mark Wells, I am honored to bestow upon you the Pink Heart of Courage for your bravery in the face of the enemy.” She levitated the second ribbon around my neck.

I was too stunned for words. I could only give them a deep respectful bow.

“Please stand beside us as we honor those who helped bring about this momentous victory,” Trixie commanded me.

I took up my familiar spot beside my Princess as she and Twilight turned to face the audience.

Twilight said, “Even the boldest plan needs the help of others to bring it to fulfilment. The potion that Sir Mark Wells delivered to such great effect was brewed by someone who once was feared but is now respected for her skills in creating medicines and salves that have improved our lives. I call upon Zecora the shaman to step up.”

The zebra joined us on stage accompanied by cheers and hoof-stomps. While they were not as loud as mine, they were still respectable and heartfelt. Trixie levitated a ribbon around her neck. “We bestow upon you the Pink Heart of Courage and name you Royal Potion-Maker to the Court.”

Zecora gave a short bow and replied, “I thank you for this honor grand. Your loyal servant is at your command.”

Twilight indicated that Zecora step to one side of the dais and Trixie then said, “Next, we call upon those ponies who helped distract and harass Tirek so that the plan of attack could be brought to a successful conclusion. First, I call upon the members of the Ponyville weather team who knew that they had no chance of winning against Tirek, but nevertheless attacked him so that the monster’s method of fighting could be observed and countered in the final offensive. Two of them provided a crucial blow that bought valuable time. The valor of these eighteen ponies is unsurpassed in all of Equestria, and for that, we award them the Pink Heart of Courage. First, I call upon the leader of the team, Cloud Kicker, to step up.”

The lavender-coated mare came up while the crowd applauded to receive her medal from Twilight and then moved over to join Zecora.

Trixie then continued with the rest of the team.

“Blossomforth!” “Open Skies!” “Thunderlane!” “Clear Skies!” “Sunshower!” “Parasol!” “Icy Rain!” And so forth.

Finally, all the pegasi involved in the offensive had received their medals and I thought that we were finished, but Twilight stepped forward to take over the speech.

“While the ponies whom we just honored were responsible for the victory over Tirek, many others fought with great dedication before the enemy reached Ponyville. One, in particular, was instrumental in slowing down Tirek’s advance before he also succumbed to the monster. This person had little reason to fight for us, and yet he did so in the name of the friendship that had been extended to him. While he has had a checkered past, he has proven that he is one of us. I call upon Lord Discord to join us on this stage.”

The crowd was stunned, and even I was taken by surprise. Discord’s jaw hit the floor – literally – before he gathered it back up and said incredulously, “Me?!”

Twilight nodded. “Please step up, Discord.”

The stunned draconequus stepped up onto the stage and Twilight levitated a medal up to him. With it settled on his shoulders, Twilight said, “Congratulations, my friend.”

Unlike with the rest of the recipients, the audience just murmured in surprise. I stamped one hoof and then raised my forelegs to loudly clap my hooves. First one, then more and more ponies joined in. Eventually, everypony was clapping and a smile grew wide on Discord’s face.

Trixie waited for the applause to die down before thanking all the honorees and ending the ceremony. Eventually, it was just the two Princesses, myself, and Discord left on the dais. I think Trixie was ready to leave, but I was watching the draconequus as he turned to Twilight.

“Was this your idea, Princess?” he asked.

“Yes, but Trixie and the Element Bearers all approved my nomination.”

“But still you were the one to bring it up. You truly are the Princess of Friendship.” He snapped his claws and a medallion appeared around the purple alicorn’s neck. It was a golden circular disk with Twilight’s cutie mark embossed in tapered wedges of white and pink jewels. She lifted it with a hoof to read the inscription on it.

“Best Princess.” Twilight grinned. “Thanks, Discord.”

“You’re welcome. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a certain yellow pegasus whom I plan to celebrate with.” In a flash, he and Fluttershy were gone.

“That was a wonderful thing to do,” I said to Twilight.

The mare shook her head. “He earned it. I would not have believed it was possible when we first met, but he has learned the meaning of friendship and it needed to be acknowledged.”

“Looks to me that worked both ways,” I said, pointing at her medallion.

She giggled. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Then she paused and her eyes widened. “Could it be…?” she said so softly that I barely heard her. She then leapt off the dais, calling out to our friends. “Rarity! Applejack! Rainbow! Pinkie! Find Fluttershy! I think I’ve got my token!”

I turned to Trixie and we exchanged puzzled glances. “This I gotta see.”

She nodded. “Follow them, Remark Fells.”

As we hastened to chase after the mares, I said, “By the way, nice of you to get my name right for once, even if it was just my surname.”

“Trixie does not know what you’re talking about,” she replied.

I chuckled. Yeah, sure.

As we all guessed, Fluttershy was back at her cottage and she and Discord were celebrating with tea and cucumber sandwiches. She was a little surprised at the unexpected invasion.

“Wh-what’s going on?” the shy pegasus asked uncertainly.

“I think I’ve gotten my Friendship token!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“What the heck are you talking about, Twilight?” I asked.

“That’s right – we haven’t told you yet,” the purple alicorn replied. “We recently figured out that we weren’t getting literal keys to the box. Instead, we have been receiving tokens as a result of embodying our Elements, such as a spool of thread for Rarity and a coin for Applejack. All the other girls got some token too for living up to the Element that they represent while under difficult circumstances, and now I think I’ve gotten mine from Discord.”

“Yay me!” the draconequus said with a grin.

“So, what happens now?” Trixie asked.

“We take our tokens to the Tree,” Twilight replied. “Girls, go fetch yours.”

Three mares scattered to grab their tokens. Fluttershy took her flower down from the shelf where she had left it, and Pinkie pulled Boneless, the rubber chicken she had received from Cheese Sandwich, from her mane. She explained that she had gotten an odd twitch and shimmy that morning that told her that she would be needing it. We weren’t kept waiting long by the others, and then we started to head off into the Everfree Forest to visit the Tree of Harmony. Discord was too impatient though, so he teleported us all to the cave. The six-sided box was there just as we had left it weeks ago.

“So – now what?” Applejack asked.

“There’s some way to use these tokens to open the box – I’m certain of it,” Twilight said, holding hers up.

“They still ain’t exactly keys,” the apple mare pointed out.

“Maybe you could transform them into keys like Trixie transmutes things into teacups?” I suggested, earning me a dig in the ribs from the blue faux alicorn.

Trixie frowned at me. “If these items are the literal keys to Equestria’s future, the last thing you want to do is have me try to transform them.”

Twilight shook her head. “Trixie’s right. Besides, something that is earned by earth ponies or pegasi should not need to be altered by unicorn magic.”

“Or alicorn magic?” I asked.

“No, that’s the same thing in this case. And if it was easy as that, we could have made keys from just about anything.”

We fell silent as we all stared at the pile of ordinary objects that sat on the ground in front of us, completely at a loss for what to do from this point.

Pinkie grabbed the rubber chicken, stood on her hind legs, and thrust it above her head dramatically. She lowered her voice a couple of octaves. “Oh, Great Tree of Harmony. We, your humble servants...” Rainbow Dash snorted. Twilight gave her a glare but Pinkie continued, “...present to you these offerings in the name of Friendship! Take them! Take them and rejoice!” She then spun the rubber chicken by the neck for a moment before letting it go.

Boneless flew majestically towards the tree and hit dead center over the Element of Magic star. It squeaked once and slid... well... bonelessly down the trunk.

Everyone just stared. Trixie said, “Well, we tried.”

Discord scratched his head. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

Trixie looked up to him. “Why choose just one?”

He grinned. “Excellent idea!” Discord proceeded to point a claw at Pinkie, close his eyes and laugh uproariously. Seconds later, streams of tears poured from him as he sobbed.

Fluttershy floated up to look him in the eye. “Discord! That isn’t very nice!”

He stopped immediately and shrank a bit. His clawed hand fidgeted with his medallion. “Sorry, Fluttershy... Pinkie Pie. Still kind of new to this whole ‘friendship’ thing.”

Pinkie bounced on her hooves. “No problemo, Discordo!”

Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. “Maybe we have to touch our token to the Element that we each represent.”

“Nothin’ easier,” said Applejack. Flipping her bit in a forehoof. “Y’all watch this.” With that, she flipped the golden coin extra high, turned around, and with a confident grin lashed out a rear hoof. The coin sailed through the air, passing cleanly over the crystal knot in the tree containing her jewel. The orange mare scowled and started to gallop around the tree. “Horseapples. Now Ah gotta go find it.”

Rarity levitated her spool and it started to drift forward.

“Betcha can’t hit it from here.”

The alabaster unicorn looked over at Rainbow Dash as her spool hovered in place. “This isn’t a contest, darling.”

“Not yet.” The blue pegasus glanced at me then whispered something into Rarity’s ear for a few seconds. They stared at each other and Rainbow increased her smile fractionally and nodded.

The fashionista looked back at her jewel and narrowed her eyes. The spool made a couple of test movements towards the tree before she let it fly. The token arced gracefully towards its target, only to clink off of one of the white crystalline balls hanging from just underneath her target. The milky sphere swung back and forth for a moment on the blue vines that attached it to the branches. All eyes turned to look at the increasingly jittery mare as the sound of her failure clacked on the stones on its way towards the back of the cave.

“Definitely more like laughing now,” Discord said. Then his eyes went wide. Slowly, he focused a very unamused stare at Twilight, his lips pulled into a tight frown.

“Ah, heh, heh, heh,” tittered the purple alicorn nervously. “I think I’ll just place my token against the Element of Magic...gently.”

Discord’s scowl only got more pronounced as she slowly flapped to the center of the tree. With deliberate care, the mare placed her amulet against the star. Pinkie gasped... but nothing else happened.

I heard a scoff from my left. “You guys just aren’t doing it right. Heads up, Twilight!”

The purple mare looked back just in time to see the Wonderbolt pin flying her direction. With a cry, she dove out of the way.

It clanked off the topmost knot, bounced off two lower branches, and careened towards the crystal chest. A golden glow shot out from the box, stopping the pin in midair. It spun around three times, transforming into a golden key that slid into one of the keyholes in the chest.

“I did it,” said the blue pegasus, her eyes and mouth wide. “I figured it out. I did.”

“Trixie thinks luck played more of a—” the faux alicorn said, only to be cut off.

The Element of Loyalty was already airborne, circling the Tree of Harmony with her trademark rainbow streak flowing in the air behind her. “I...”

She circled again.

“AM.”

Once more.

“AWESOME!”

The last word was drawn out as she rocketed out the cave, into the ravine, then straight upwards. The echoes of her exuberant cry were audible for some time as they bounced off the rocky surfaces.

“Do you think she’s coming back?” asked Fluttershy.

I nodded. “If for no other reason than to brag some more.”

Twilight practically pranced in place. “Quick everypony! Bring your tokens over to the chest!”

In quick succession, Fluttershy’s flower, Pinkie’s rubber chicken, and Twilight’s amulet were likewise grabbed in the same golden glow, spun, and turned into keys that fit other openings in the chest. Rainbow Dash flew in to land next to the box. “Hey, girls! Did you see what I did there? How I cracked the puzzle that even our resident Royal Egghead couldn’t figure out?”

I heard “Heads up!” from somewhere else in the cave. Twilight looked up and immediately ducked out of the way as a golden coin fell right where she had been. Just before it hit the chest, it was brought to a halt by the aura and seconds later a new key fit into the chest.

A grinning Applejack trotted up. “Hah! Second time’s the charm!”

Despite the near miss, Twilight was still grinning from ear to ear. “Girls, we’ve done it! Now all that remains is to unlock it. I think we have to do this together!”

The mares each grabbed the key that had been their token. Twilight said, “Ready, on three.”

“Ummm…” said Fluttershy.

“One…”

“Ummm…” repeated Fluttershy.

“Two…”

“Hey! Where’s Rarity?” asked Rainbow Dash.

The fashionista’s sing-song voice came from the furthest end of the cavern. “Just one minnnuuuute!” The roughly teardrop shape of the cavern meant that the unicorn was now near the locus of the egg-shaped chamber.

I couldn’t help myself. “Rarity! That sounds great! Just like you are on stage at a concert hall! Keep on singing!”

Trixie stepped on my hoof. “No, don’t! You can follow your musical career later. We just need the token for now!”

Rarity sang back. “Oooooh, just abouuuuut, darrrrlinnnnnnng! Therrrrrrre’s the spOOOoool!” Apparently, she decided the tasks were not mutually exclusive.

Everypony smiled but those smiles faded after it became apparent that there was no follow up clopping of hooves approaching.

Applejack said, “Rarity? Why ain'tcha hustlin’ back pronto?”

A disapproving pause was followed by, “I was gifted the spool and the thread, which has come… well… completely unwound. Patience, please.”

The five mares at the chest looked at each other uncomfortably. Discord, Trixie, and I were trying hard not to laugh.

Eventually, Fluttershy dropped her hoof off of her key. “So… umm… Twilight. I understand you went to give a pep talk to the Canterlot Comets?”

“What? Oh, yes! I gave them a motivational speech during halftime. Who knew that Canterlot had a professional hoofball team?”

Rainbow coughed. “Really, Twilight? They’ve been in existence for eighty years. How long did you live in Canterlot, again?”

The purple alicorn’s ears drooped. “Well… my whole life before I came to Ponyville.” She shuffled her hooves. “I guess I was a little focused on my studies.”

“Ya think?” said Applejack.

This was followed by more silence that was broken by Pinkie pointing upwards. “Look at that! The thread is still hanging off of some of those crystal chandelier type things up there, too.” I squinted. Sure enough, the thread could be seen hanging down on both sides of one of the vines under Rarity’s element, perhaps caught on one of the crystal spheres.

Rainbow growled, “I hate waiting,” and flew over to the hanging string.

“Don’t break it!” exclaimed all the remaining mares at the chest.

“Not gonna,” the blue pegasus replied. She traced the part of the string that went straight down until she found the end. Gripping that in her hoof, she moved to within a couple of feet of the chest before the thread went taut. “Hey, Rarity! Give me some slack!”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” was the answer called back and Rarity stopped spinning the spool in her magic.

The thread sagged a bit. “Perfect! Thanks!” Rainbow Dash pulled the thread a few inches closer and the end glowed gold and rose off of her hoof. A sparking, golden flare raced up the thread towards the tree, leaving a thick glowing line of magic behind. Rainbow turned around to face her friend. “Rarity, look out!”

“What?” Just then, the unicorn saw the golden ball of magical fire racing directly towards her from where it made a sharp turn high in the tree. With a scream, she jumped back and released the spool from her magic. Like the five other tokens, the spool spun around three times, warping into a golden key.

“Yes!” yelled the Element of Loyalty. “I did it! Once again I—”

Rarity’s key rocketed along the rope of magic into the tree, only to become tangled in two of the blue vines that hung under the knot containing Rarity’s cutie mark. The vines and attached white spheres leaned towards the chest and the cable of magic that led to it but made no further progress.

“Awwwww! Come on!” complained Rainbow Dash.

Trixie and I fell over ourselves laughing. I heard a cranking noise and turned to see Discord speaking into an antique wall-mounted phone, the candlestick receiver held over one ear. “Hello? … Yes, is this Harmony? … Can we order a new set of Element Bearers, please? This set is defective.”

Trixie and I howled while the other mares glared at us… all but Fluttershy who hid her smile behind her mane. Rarity trotted up to the chest just as Rainbow Dash finished untangling the key from the tree. It quickly found its way to the box and slid into the lone remaining slot.

Applejack frowned at the purple alicorn. “Twilight, Ah hold ya personally responsible fer what we’re all gonna endure for years.”

The Element of Magic blinked. “What?”

Rainbow swooped down to her place amongst the girls. “Did you see that? Rainbow saves the day once again! I tell you, without me, none of this would have happened, probably ever! I mean, I get it that we’re all equal here, but is it possible to be the greatest of all equals?”

“That,” replied the farm pony.

Twilight’s eyelid twitched once. She took a deep breath and smiled, looking around at her friends. “OK, girls. All together! One… Two… Three!”

The mares each grasped a key and turned it. A rainbow beam burst from the top of the box to strike the Element of Magic embedded in the Tree. From there, it spread amongst its branches to the other Elements, lighting them all up in turn. Then each shone forth to envelop each of its Bearers, filling them with its power. I could barely look at them as they levitated into the air, bursting with the magic of Harmony. When the glare died down, I could see each of the six had been transformed with rainbow colors, enhanced manes and tails, and replications of their cutie marks. Garish but damn impressive!

“Whoa! What’s happened?” Trixie asked.

Twilight observed her friends’ appearance and that of her own. “I think… from the way that I feel… we now embody our Elements.”

“It figures,” I said. “We could have used this when Tirek was doing his thing.”

Twilight chuckled. “I suppose we could have, but then you would never have had the chance to show how much of a hero you could be. By the way, why are you Marklestia right now?”

I blinked and then looked down at my legs. White. “Huh? How did that happen? I didn’t intend to change.”

“It’s all this Harmony magic, darling,” Rarity spoke up. “You’re as much in tune with it as us, remember? Substitute Element of Magic?”

“Makes sense to me,” Twilight said with a smile.

I then noticed that Discord was shaking like a leaf. “I can’t stand it!” He snapped his claws and was covered in bright light. When it faded, he was wearing an incredibly ostentatious tuxedo with every color of the rainbow in stripes across the bow tie, cummerbund, lapels, sleeves and pant legs. He continued in a dramatic tone while holding a paw to his forehead. “The fashion peer pressure! It was just too much for me to stand!”

Looking over at Trixie, I saw she was now wearing some sort of sundress with a ginormous hat, also with rainbow stripes everywhere they shouldn’t be. At Trixie’s shocked look in my direction, I steeled myself to look back over my body. I probably shouldn’t have. I was dressed in a black G-string that was clearly visible through a rainbow-hued fishnet mini-dress. A multi-colored garter belt and pink hose did not make me feel any more covered. “Discord!” I boomed, doing a decent impression of the Royal Canterlot Voice. I had to be loud to be heard over Applejack’s laughter.

“What?” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Too conservative?”

I narrowed my eyes.

He sighed. “Fine.” After he snapped his claws again, I was in a standard wedding dress with a spiraling rainbow that started at my neckline and twisted about me three times before fanning out into my train. A bouquet of carnations of every color completed my ensemble.

After looking myself over, I couldn’t believe it, but I said, “Better.”

“Golly, Mark,” drawled Applejack. “Ya plannin’ on getting’ hitched to all the Elements today?”

“Not better.” I returned to glaring at the draconequus.

He rolled his eyes. “You mares and your picky, picky, picky.” After his next claw snap, my outfit matched Trixie’s. Good enough for now.

Abruptly the whole cave started trembling and a burst of power came from the Tree of Harmony. The box and its keys flew upwards and smashed through the roof of the cave, disappearing in a rainbow streak.

We stood there stunned, not knowing what the heck was happening.

“Does anypony else think that we should be following that box?” I asked.

“Good idea!” Twilight said as she lit up her horn.

Moments later, we had all been teleported to the outskirts of Ponyville. From there, we could not miss the newest addition to the landscape on the other side of town – a huge crystal tree-shaped castle. As we stared at it, the girls’ forms reverted to their old selves, and I hastily changed back to my stallion body, hoping that I hadn’t been noticed by any visitors to the township.

“Ahem!” I got Discord’s attention. After he snickered once at the sight of a stallion in an ill-fitting dress, he made the clothing on himself disappear and Trixie and I reverted to our previous garments.

“Sweet Celestia! Where’d that castle come from?” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

“A gift from the Tree, perchance?” Rarity replied.

“But whose is it?” Twilight asked.

Rainbow Dash lifted off the ground and crossed her forelegs across her chest. “Well, since I was the driving force behind solving the mystery of the crystal box of mysteriousness, and I had the biggest hoof in getting two of the tokens to transform, it’s clearly mine. I’m gonna call it, ‘Rainbow’s Monument to Awesomeness Castle’.”

Applejack glared at Twilight. The alicorn’s ear twitched and she said, “I guess that means you’ll be giving up your home and will be ground-bound from now on. You’ll probably be spending all your time cleaning it.”

The blue pegasus waved a forehoof lazily. “On second thought, I don’t really like the colors all that much.”

Discord laughed and looked at Twilight. “Isn’t it obvious, Princess? It’s yours!”

“Ah think Discord’s got the right of it, sugah,” Applejack opined.

“Of course it’s yours, silly!” Pinkie exclaimed. “And now we have to have a castle-warming party!”

Twilight blinked. “I suppose all of you are right. Let’s check it out.”

We walked towards it, passing several stunned residents of Ponyville and some bemused tourists along the way. Spike was one of the former and he joined our party. I explained what had happened as we headed for the main doors and entered the castle. We all gaped at the huge foyer that eventually led to a large round room that contained several thrones made from the same crystal as the castle. The high backs of six of them were adorned with the cutie marks of the six Element Bearers, while a smaller one next to Twilight’s was bare of markings, although it was obvious whose it was.

“Sweet! I get a chair too!” Spike exclaimed.

“It’s interesting how they’re arranged so that we would all be facing each other,” Twilight pointed out.

“I don’t need no high-falootin’ throne,” Applejack declared, a slight curl on her lip.

“Well, I think that they are perfectly marvelous!” Rarity replied as she flounced up to hers and hopped upon it. The cutie mark on the back of the chair lit up.

Pinkie Pie pronked onto hers with a similar effect.

“I don’t think I deserve a throne,” Fluttershy almost whispered.

Discord strode up to Twilight, rubbing his chin. “Hmmmmm... I suppose it is a step up from the old place, but I just don’t know if it was worth trading away the medallion I spent so much time conjuring up from nothingness.”

Twilight laughed and pulled one of Discord’s legs into a wing hug (he was rather tall). “Oh, Discord! Now, whenever I see the pink crystal in these walls, I’ll be reminded of our friendship.”

Discord’s mouth opened a bit in surprise and then he smiled broadly, even wiping a tear away.

“While you’re all staring at some chairs, I’m gonna explore the rest of this place!” Rainbow Dash streaked away.

I looked at Twilight and said, “I’m with Dash. I think we should check out this new home of yours.”

The purple alicorn looked uncertain. “I don’t know if I could call it a home, Mark. Oh, it’s beautiful, but it seems a bit… cold to me.”

“You just miss your library still, don’t you?”

She nodded glumly.

“Best to keep your mind off it then. You’ve been given a magnificent gift, Princess – one that undoubtedly has exciting potential, considering its source. Shall we see what we can discover right now?” I waved a hoof in the general direction of Rainbow Dash’s exit and gave Twilight an encouraging smile.

The alicorn hesitantly returned it before replying. “You’re right, Mark. I already have so many questions.”

“Consider this to be a test then, and the right answers will get you an A+.”

Twilight grinned and her eyes gleamed. If there was one thing that mare loved, it was acing a quiz!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

You know we just had to get that silly castle, but the girls have yet to reveal the map table. Oh well, I'm sure it won't matter... will it?

Time to beg for a Ko-fi once more. You can show your appreciation for as little as $3. :pinkiehappy:

Illustrations from show assets.

Chapter 24 - Books

We split up into ones and twos as we explored the crystal castle in different directions. It was quickly obvious that just like the library tree, it was much bigger on the inside than the outside. I paired up with Twilight, wanting to gauge her reactions to her new abode. She and I later discovered Trixie wandering through the corridors, passing by virtually identical doors, hopelessly lost. Rainbow Dash had simply sped through the place until she found something of interest. Spike had apparently found the kitchen, while the other mares had made their own discoveries. It hadn’t taken Twilight long to figure out that there actually was a logical pattern to the rooms and quickly proved it by successfully nominating what she expected to find behind doors which I would then open and confirm her deduction.

We steered Trixie out onto a balcony and Rainbow rounded up the others so that we could have a meeting to discuss the new addition to Ponyville’s skyline. However, Spike excused himself to do some hasty shopping to stock the basics for the kitchen.

“Trixie supposes that now that you have a castle of your own, you will be spending much more time here,” the blue mare said with a slight frown. “Don’t think that this will exempt you from your current duties!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Sweet Celestia! I’ve just got the darn thing! I’ve not had the chance to make any plans yet. I imagine that it’s going to take me the best part of a day just to check this place out, catalog its facilities, and write up a plan of action.”

“Well, darling, the first thing that you will need to do is shop for some furniture,” Rarity said. “I do believe that aside from those thrones downstairs, there isn’t a chair, couch, or sofa in the place. Not even so much as a cushion! And unless you plan to eat off the floor, I suggest that you get a table or two while you’re at it.”

“And beds!” Rainbow added.

Trust the prismatic pegasus to think of that.

“Yes, yes! Trixie realizes that this place desperately needs furnishing… and some signposts,” she added in a low murmur. “However, the Great and Powerful Trixie is referring to the direction that the diarchy will take from now on.”

Twilight tilted her head and frowned a little. “What do you mean, Trixie?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Ponyville has always been your home despite the inconvenience of commuting to Canterlot. Now that you have your own castle, Our Little Ponies will expect you to rule from here. How do you intend to deal with being so far from the seat of government and still perform your royal duties?”

I had to admit it – Trixie had a point. We had been so caught up in the wonder of the new castle that none of us had thought of the ramifications yet. But Trixie had. Perhaps because she didn’t want to get saddled with all the work, but the credit still went to her.

Twilight was thoughtful for a long moment. “I’m going to have to think more about this. I’ll be needing some time to sort through things and figure out what our game plan will be. I’ll use the weekend to get a head start.”

“And if you cannot be back in Canterlot for your scheduled appointments?”

Twilight gave her co-ruler a hesitant smile. “Perhaps you could cover for me?”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “There’s more than enough work for two alicorns at the moment,” Trixie said, ignoring the fact that everyone here knew her wings weren’t real. “Having taken the day off for the award ceremony, we need two Princesses on the job on Monday.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Trixie.”

A smirk grew on the blue mare’s face. “If you don’t make it, the Dutiful and Diligent Trixie may have to appoint a new Princess.” She stood up on her hind legs and waved dramatically in my direction. “May I introduce the future co-ruler of Equestria – Princess Marklestia!”

I gaped and I stared at the grinning mare. I started slowly shaking my head, and then faster. “Nope! No bucking way! You’re not doing that to me!” I wasn’t even in my pegacorn form!

“What are you complaining about, Princess? You already do half the work,” Trixie pressed, her grin getting wider.

Twilight snickered and said, “Trixie has a point. Think of your responsibilities.”

“Nope! Not a chance! You’ll never make me!” I spun around and jumped over the railing of the balcony, not worrying about the possibility of a crash-landing. The sound of the laughter from all the mares faded as I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could.

Thankfully, the two eventually worked out a compromise that did not involve me. It may have been a joke, but those had a habit of backfiring on me lately, so I took no chances. I stuck strictly to advising Trixie and keeping my mouth shut otherwise. However, it wasn’t long before the new routine settled in.

Now that I could use unicorn magic, I needed a teacher. Twilight was happy to add me to her class in Trixie’s quarters and bumped up the frequency to every day when she was in Canterlot. Being in Celestia’s old chambers also served the purpose of hiding Marklestia from prying eyes. Rumors of Celestia’s return and subsequent disappearance were flying through the more disreputable tabloids, and I had to be especially careful not to make a public appearance. We also had to bring Trixie’s personal guards into the expanding group of ponies sworn to secrecy about Marklestia.

Very quickly, I found that my natural talent at unicorn magic was roughly the same as my natural talent at aerial flight. Yeah, that bad.

While Trixie’s recent exercises had her levitating half a dozen items of different weights and materials, I was left staring at a sawdust-filled foal’s toy sitting in the middle of the floor. Actually, calling it a toy was something of a stretch. A small, round burlap sack with two buttons sewn on was a far more accurate description. Twilight told me that in her youth, she practiced with a similar toy named ‘Mr. Smarty Pants.’ Mine was roughly the weight of a foal and I was expected to treat it as such to improve my precision and control. So far I had ripped the buttons off, torn the top half from the bottom half, thrown it into the ceiling, all four walls, and once off the balcony. Twilight did not find my difficulties amusing and accused me of not really trying. Trixie, on the other hoof, was always reduced to tears of laughter and had started to give the ‘foal’ nicknames. The most recent were: Colt Concussion, Filly Fracture, Wreck-O-Mended, and Sir Bursts-A-Lot.

Yesterday, I had given Trixie the idea of using stage props from her previous career and she was now able to maintain three juggling showers of five balls each, though she would invariably drop one or two when attempting to shift to a different pattern. What’s more, this exercise had captured her interest and she showed a genuine passion for improving her skills.

That, however, was yesterday. Today, we were listening to Twilight drone on about magic theory and thaumaturgical equations. In this area, both of us were bored to tears as we felt the same way about the incomprehensible scrawling the purple alicorn wrote on her chalkboard, her hoof dancing with her passion for the subject. In contrast, I imagine we both had the same unenthusiastic and slightly hostile stare aimed at our teacher.

I shoved Trixie with a shoulder. “You’re stupid.”

Like me, she continued to glare at Twilight as she poked me with a knee. “Well, you’re dumb.”

Push. “Magic is dumb.”

Jab. “Then you’re made of magic.”

Ooohh. Good one, Trixie. “Better than what you’re full of.”

I heard her gasp. She was familiar with that phrase as I had used it to describe certain nobles on occasion. She raised her voice, turned towards me, and shoved me with both hooves. “Stop pushing me!”

I faced her and windmilled my forelegs. “Stoooooooooooooooop!”

She did the same, matching my tone to completely drown out Twilight’s lecture. “Stoooooooooooooop!”

Our teacher finally noticed that her class was no longer even pretending to pay attention. “Mark! Trixie! Stop acting like foals!”

I took my cue. “You’re a meanie! Steady Flight is a much cuter teacher than you!”

The former showmare was just as quick on the uptake. “Teacher, I need to go to the bathroom! Can I get a hall pass?”

Twilight groaned and covered her face with her forehooves. When she looked up again, both Trixie and I burst out laughing, holding each other up for support. The Princess of Magic tossed her chalk to the tray at the bottom of her chalkboard. “Very funny, you two.” Neither of us bothered to tell her that the cause of our merriment was the white line on her lavender coat that streaked across her face from bottom to top.

Twilight frowned. “Fine. We’ll get started on practical applications then. Trixie: teleporting items to you from across the room.” The blue unicorn groaned. She had not mastered anything larger than a cherry pit so far. “Mark: levitation. Keep in mind that you are putting too much effort into it. Your magic is more than strong enough to do the task easily.”

As Twilight started reviewing the process of object teleportation to Trixie, I sat down in front of the bane of my existence and tuned them out. I tried to gently lift it upwards with the same effect as this normally had. Nothing. This had been my problem all along – either my magic was too weak to move the item at all, or it was strong enough to fling the bag around like a button-enhanced missile.

I thought about my difficulties, wondering if there was a different way to approach the problem. I checked my wristband – about thirty-five percent. Invariably, when I drew on my stored energy, it would come out too fast, although I had to admit that at least with flying, I was getting much better at regulating the outflow. Presumably, I would eventually get that kind of control when tapping my unicorn magic. Was there a way to “pre-charge” an item so it would respond to just a light touch of my magic? That was something I had not attempted.

I let out a deep breath and touched my horn to the sack. I concentrated on dumping some of my unicorn magic into it, though I was not sure how much. Better too much than too little. After a while, I checked my wristband. About ten percent now. That should be plenty. Raising my head, I noticed that my effort had been rewarded with a golden glow emanating through the tiny holes in the canvas. Perfect.

I reached out and tried to levitate the sack with just the smallest amount of my magic. Nothing. I tried my standard amount next, still very controlled. The bag jerked a bit but stayed on the floor. I frowned as I considered the problem. Maybe it just needed to be forced off the floor and then it would float freely. I gave the bag a sharp pull upwards with a strong burst of magic.

Burst was right. The sack shot into the ceiling and disintegrated, spreading glowing sawdust in all directions. When I opened my eyes, I saw the entire room bathed in a golden glow that seemed to coat every surface, including the parts of the two mares that had been facing the blast.

Trixie looked at the room in wonder. “Ooooooohhhhhh!” The effect was very pretty, I had to admit. Twilight glanced around then focused her unhappy gaze on me. Before she said anything, I noticed something odd out of the corner of my eye. Just before the last of the glow dissipated, I thought I saw a black spot on the wall next to the room’s large bookcase. I walked over and started to feel the unbroken expanse of marble with a forehoof.

“Mark?” Twilight trotted up on my left. “Did you see something?” Soon afterwards, Trixie came up on my right but said nothing.

I heard the door to the chamber open. “So what happened?” I turned to see Rainbow Dash enter, followed by the rest of the Elements. “I was flying below your tower and saw a puff of golden magic come out from your balcony, so I gathered up the girls.”

Trixie waved away the two guards who had also entered. They bowed and closed the door behind them as they left. Rarity sneezed. “A bit dusty in here. When was the last time your maid did her rounds?”

Trixie said. “No mortal housecleaning staff can keep up with Mismark Quells. His talent at creating Chaos is second to only… ah… one other.”

I grinned. Accidentally calling on a certain Lord of Chaos was not a good idea, and even when you did want to summon him it wasn’t without risk. Just because he was a friend didn’t stop him from being true to his nature. My hoof then found a depression in the wall. Lifting that hoof showed nothing but solid stone. I moved to the side. “Twilight, would you tell me what you feel right here?”

She walked up alongside me and ran her hoof along the surface, then lit up her horn. She gave a few experimental raps to the stone. “It feels like solid marble. Scans show nothing to the contrary.”

I carefully reached out my hoof. Twilight gasped when the front tip of it disappeared into the wall. I rotated my hoof around. “It’s a circular depression. Maybe two inches wide. I don’t know how deep.” Then I noticed what was sticking out in my upper view. I stared at my horn then looked questioningly at Twilight.

She nodded. “Try placing it inside then using a small amount of your magic.”

I hesitantly lined up my magic appendage to where my forehoof was pointing. I heard the mares around me hold their breath as I slowly sunk my horn directly into the wall. When I bottomed out, it felt like the hole had been made with me in mind—it fitted snugly on all sides. I guided a bit of magic into it.

CLICK

To my left, the bookcase moved away from the wall about an inch. Gently, I pulled straight back until my horn was free. Twilight was closer to the side of the bookcase and pushed it away from the wall. It rotated on some hidden hinges and all of us craned our necks to see what had been concealed behind it. What we saw was a chamber beyond shrouded in darkness. I blinked and looked at the nearest window in Trixie’s room. This was the outer wall to her quarters. There should be nothing but sky beyond it.

“A dimensional portal?” I asked Twilight.

She looked at the edges of the doorway and the floor of the room beyond, her horn glowing. “I think so. The floor consists of Alusian Granite. I think the room was carved out deep inside Canterlot Mountain. I suspect this is the only way in or out.” She levitated one of the door wedges from the front of the room and secured the bookcase in the open position.

I heard voices behind me.

“Well, ain’t that somethin’.”

“Huh! And I thought I knew every place in Equestria that could have a party.”

“Awesome! Just like in Daring Do and the Curse of the Spider King.”

“Princess Celestia’s own secret chamber… fabulous!”

“Should we go in there? I mean… is it safe?”

Twilight turned and started to move for the portal.

“Wait!” I said, holding out a forehoof to stop her. She glanced up at me and raised an eyebrow. I turned back to the yellow pegasus. “Thank you, Fluttershy.”

I looked back down at the purple alicorn. “Have you ever been here before?” She shook her head. “Then it stands to reason that Celestia could have put up some wards to prevent anypony else from entering, or at least until she had done so.” Twilight’s eyes widened and she stepped back.

I lit the end of my horn with the matchstick spell. It gave off a dim white light and was the easiest and first spell a unicorn ever learned. I was no exception. I swallowed and poked my horn through the opening, then when nothing happened, stepped through. The chamber was suddenly bathed in light as torches along the walls lit with a peculiar white flame that had to be magic. A wind swirled around the room, lifting some dust and replacing the stale air with fresh. I moved aside and looked back as Twilight entered, her horn bright. When she stood next to me, her horn aura winked out and she stared open-mouthed at everything around us.

Before following her gaze, I glanced next to the portal we had just exited. Sure enough, there was a hole in the stone wall, doubtless to allow a return journey. I trotted forwards and let go of the matchstick spell, glancing at everything quickly while the rest of the girls came in. The room was perhaps forty feet in length and width, with the center space empty. The vaulted ceiling was made of the same red granite and was high enough overhead to allow limited flying practice. The walls held a collection of weapons racks, ponykin forms holding different sets of armor, display cabinets, tall dressers, and a number of paintings slid into a storage framework that held them so they would stay vertical.

Twilight pointed to an irregular line of dull grey that cut across the ceiling. “Nullstone. That vein would make it impossible to teleport in or out of here, plus make it invisible to any type of magical scan. It must have taken an incredible amount of power to create the portal this close to the vein … probably both alicorns working together.”

The girls spread out and were talking animatedly about what they found.

“What is that?”

“I think it is a hoof-carved wooden figure – you know, like the kind foals get as a circus prize.”

“A scarf. A rock. A pencil. This cabinet is filled with mementos. I bet every one is a cherished memory.”

“I wonder how old that fauchard is? It still looks sharp.”

“Isn’t that a halberd?”

“Naw. No axe blade.”

“How do you know so much about polearms?”

“Ogres and Oubliettes, of course.”

“Silk pajamas! And I think this is Neighponese fine-weave… but the silkworms that made this were all lost during a typhoon hundreds of years ago!”

“That there is one mighty handsome stallion. The painter did a great job!”

“Actually, they prefer to be called artists, darling.”

“I wonder… was this a shelter? A safe hiding place?”

“I don’t think so, silly! No food, no water, no entertainment!”

I walked up next to Twilight. She stood gaping at two bookshelves that were set by themselves on one side of the room. One held books that were all bound in different types of animal hide. The ones on the top shelf were various shades of black and made my hair stand on end just being close to them. Twilight and I looked at each other and I knew exactly what she was thinking. I gently took the book closest to me on the lowest shelf. I held the forest green volume out for Twilight to inspect, turning it this way and that.

“Dragon hide,” she said, shuddering. After a deep breath, she continued. “No markings on the spine or covers.” She looked up and nodded.

I sat down and pulled the book into my lap, putting a hoof on the flap that held the book closed. I tried to lift it but it wouldn’t budge. I then tried holding the matchstick spell again, then a simple door opening spell, followed by a door unlocking spell. Nothing.

Twilight put her hoof on my shoulder. “A mystery for another time.”

Trixie came up to us. “What did you find, Grand Vizier?”

I glanced back. “These are Princess Celestia’s spellbooks.” I heard all conversation cease and the clip-clop of everypony approaching. “Inside these tomes are all the magic spells that Celestia thought worthwhile to preserve.” I glanced at the top shelf. “Perhaps including volumes from Sombra or copied from ponies equally as vile.”

I sighed as I stood and returned the book that was in my hooves. “Without a doubt, the magic spells needed to create and possibly repair mirror portals are in these books, but I can’t open them… not yet anyway.”

I then looked carefully at the volumes in the other bookcase. There were seven rows of books, the top six shelves containing ten identically sized thick tomes. The spines bore sequential numbers: 1 through 64. While the top set of books was the most worn and certainly the oldest, every book was in remarkably good shape. I reached out and took volume 64. To my surprise, it did not have a flap holding it closed and it opened easily in my grasp. I looked down at a blank page, perhaps halfway through the book.

I sat back down and felt the breath of seven mares over my shoulders as they jostled for position. I flipped backward and soon found the most recent update. I read aloud. “Ten days before Hearth’s Warming, Year Three of the 2 Sisters. Our efforts in Zebrica have borne fruit, and with it, the end of Zebrican warmongering against their eastern neighbor. Tribal Leader Thrush is to be commended. If we can ever convince him to leave his current position, he will have a safe home in Equestria. Abyssinia remains a problem, but our three agents there believe they will be too busy with internal divisions for the time being. If the political situation goes sour as quickly as I think it will, I will need to introduce them to each other for a ‘liberation’ mission.”

“Her private diary,” breathed Twilight Sparkle. “I had no idea she kept one.” She looked up to the top row of books. “Maybe going all the way back to her first days as ruler.”

Trixie frowned. “More importantly, the Solar Princess did not bother to record why she was leaving in a hurry.”

I flipped back a page to find a numbered list. “Twenty days before Hearth’s Warming, Year Three of the 2 Sisters. The One Hundred Hottest and Studliest Stallions in Equestria as voted on by Me.”

I heard Applejack’s voice moving back into the room behind me. “Now that there is jus’ plain invadin’ her privacy. Ah cain’t cotton any a that.”

I narrowed my brows. “Big Macintosh Apple is listed here.”

I heard gasps from behind me and in a moment, the orange earth pony had pushed her way up to look over my shoulder. “Lemme see that….” I pointed with my hoof. “Seventy-third?! T’aint no way in Tartarus that there are no seventy-two stallions better-lookin' than him. That’s an insult to all Apples!”

She frowned at the page. “How in tarnation did Donut Joe get all the way to twenty-fifth?”

I looked back. “Great donuts and coffee?” I proposed. Every other mare nodded their heads in agreement.

“And what’s this ‘Mountain Blood is always number one’ supposed to mean?”

I sighed and closed the book before any more bickering could start. “Despite Applejack’s reasonable argument that we have no place poking around in Princess Celestia’s private diaries…” This got a glare from the farm pony but a guffaw from Rainbow Dash. “…we actually do need to poke around in them.” I waved a hoof at the bookshelf. “Somewhere in these volumes is almost certainly the whole story or at least part of the story about what was so important that the Royal Sisters had to run off like they did. The question is, how do we find it?”

“We don’t,” answered Trixie. “We task somepony to read through the books and separate the wheat from the fairly entertaining chaff, as it were. Somepony with outstanding organizational skills who knows Celestia as well as any of us.”

“I’ll be happy to,” beamed Twilight Sparkle.

Trixie glared back at her. “The last thing you need right now, Princess, is another time-consuming side project. No. I was referring to Raven Inkwell.”

Twilight jumped a bit, then seemed to deflate. “Oh. Yes, I suppose she would be a good choice.”

I pulled the alicorn into a hug with my wing. “Raven will report back to all of us regularly, and I’m sure she will have questions to ask about specific magic spells and whatnot.”

The purple mare smiled a bit, her good mood returning. “Yes. That sounds good.”

Pinkie bounded up and gave Twilight a hug from the other side. “If you like, I can finish your face-drawing. Would that make you feel better, Twilight?” The lavender mare stared at the earth pony blankly. Pinkie pointed with a hoof. “You know, finish those white lines on your face.”

Twilight’s mouth opened and her eyes went wide before glaring at Trixie and myself. With a quick glow of her horn, the chalk line was wiped away. All the mares present started to chuckle.

I turned to Trixie. “I think she was happier when she was using her muzzle as a chalkboard.”

The blue mare smiled back. “Such a dedicated teacher.” Somehow, our witty comments failed to erase her scowl.

I turned to the rest of my audience. “Ladies, as neat as the stuff is in this room, I recommend we go back and leave everything else here.” I waved Celestia’s Diary, volume 64 in front of me. “For now, we have everything we need.” I got some grumbles and lots of glancing around.

“Just ten more minutes, darling.” Rarity jogged off towards a cabinet without waiting for my response. The rest of the Elements took that as their cue and likewise scattered across the room. Twilight watched them leave, shrugged her shoulders, and nosed the book in my hooves. For her part, Trixie just raised her eyebrow at me, perhaps curious if I could corral the other mares in the room.

Defeated, I sighed and stretched out on the floor with the book in front of me. Trixie and Twilight happily lay down on either side, each resting their head on one of my shoulders. I opened to the first page. Instead of reading aloud Celestia’s musings on modern aqueduct design, I substituted my own story. “Once upon a time, there was a stallion named Mark Wells. He quickly became aware that he had no say in the matter whenever the two princesses brought all their friends.” I heard giggling in stereo.

Trixie said, “Or any other time.”

Twilight was just as much help. “Better to learn that now than suffer disappointment later.” More giggling.

I rolled my eyes. I was starting to get an idea how long that “ten minutes” was going to take.

“Then our hero Mark Wells became the dashing heroine Marklestia, thinking this was the only way to be taken seriously in this mare-run world. Tragically, his noble sacrifice was in vain and still he was ignored and every brilliant idea pooh-poohed.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I didn’t catch it either. Must not have been important.”

I heard snickers and a hoof-clop somewhere over my back. The things I would do to help these two princesses get along.

I paused at the door to my quarters and said to the Royal Guard stationed there, “Good evening, Crimson Boulder.”

The large earth pony gave me a small smile and replied, “And the same to you, Your Lordship.”

“I believe your shift ends in about a quarter hour, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. When you are relieved, I would like to talk to you in my room.”

“Sir?”

“Unless you have a previous engagement?”

“No, Lord Wells.”

“Excellent. I’ll see you soon.” I then entered my quarters where I found Steady Flight waiting for me.

“Hi, Mark. How was your day?”

“Not bad. Destroyed another practice dummy. Made an interesting discovery.” I divested myself of my apparel which Steady took to put away properly in my wardrobe.

“May I ask what you found?”

“We found Celestia’s private diaries. We’re hoping to discover something in them that could reveal why she and Luna rushed away so unexpectedly. The fact that they didn’t enlighten anypony suggests that it was a private matter for the Royal Sisters, thus could be only found in the diaries.”

Steady looked thoughtful. “I wonder what else you’ll find?”

“Well, you didn’t make it onto her One Hundred Hottest and Studliest Stallions in Equestria list.”

His eyes opened wide and his ears perked up. “Say what?”

I chuckled. “I’ll tell you about that later. Right now I’d like you to prepare for a guest. I’ve invited Crimson Boulder in for a chat when he gets off his shift.”

“Oh? May I ask why?”

“A couple of reasons, one of which is that I’m hoping to learn something from the corporal’s point of view.”

“Okay. I’ll lay out extra cake and coffee. Did you want me to hang around?”

“Definitely. You’ll soon learn why.”

Steady nodded and got to work. I moved an extra chair to the coffee table where Steady and I would have our evening chats before I went to my bedroom’s en-suite bathroom to freshen up. I timed it nicely, getting back to my chair just before a loud rap on the door announced my visitor.

Steady let the Guard in, saying, “His Lordship is expecting you.” The formality was for the benefit of the relief Guard. Until I set the tone of the meeting, we had to keep up appearances.

“Come in!” I said. “Take off your helmet and anything else you’d like to, then make yourself comfortable.” I indicated the chair I’d placed for him.

A little hesitantly, Crimson Boulder took off his helmet and set it aside along with the spear that was part of his standard equipment. With the headpiece off, the enchantment that anonymized the Royal Guards was lifted and revealed the stallion’s crimson coat and purple mane. He walked over and sat in the chair which, despite its solid construction, creaked under the weight of the large earth pony.

“You wanted to talk to me, sir?” he asked.

“Yes, indeed, but first of all, that’s the last time I want to hear you call me ‘sir’ this evening. Understood? My name is Mark.”

“Uh, yes s– um, Mark.”

“Second of all – lighten up. This is just a friendly chat between you, me, and Steady here.”

My valet and good friend took the cue to drop the formal act. He placed a tray of pastries and a large mug in front of Crimson before sinking into his own chair. “Yeah, if Mark wants to be informal, don’t be concerned about pussyfooting around him. Ignore his titles and relax.”

“What he said,” I added with a smile. “Now – help yourself to coffee, or would you prefer tea?”

“Coffee’s fine. Umm… may I ask why you wanted to chat with me?”

“I’m glad you asked. I have two reasons, actually. First of all, my circle of male friends is pathetically small. Oh, I’m acquainted with a lot of stallions, but aside from Steady Flight, the only guys I hang out with are Spike and I suppose Discord. I’d like to remedy that.”

Crimson Boulder blinked in surprise. “Why me?”

“Because you smile,” I replied enigmatically.

“I don’t understand.”

“Of all the Royal Guards that I deal with, especially those who watch my quarters, you are the only one who ever gives me a smile when you greet me.”

“Oh. Actually, I’ve been reprimanded a few times for that. I’m supposed to maintain a neutral expression at all times.”

“Can’t keep it in though, can you?” I asked with a grin.

“No, I can’t help myself sometimes.”

“And that’s why I chose you. You seem to be a competent Royal Guard without your natural exuberant friendliness being completely repressed. I’ve gotten Steady to discreetly look into your off-duty habits, so I knew a little about you before inviting you in tonight. Basically, you seem to me to be my kind of guy. So, do you think you’re up to making friends with a small pegasus with a big title?”

Crimson chuckled and I finally saw him start to relax. “I suppose I can do that.”

“Great! Don’t let your coffee get cold, and help yourself to the pastries. I think that you’ll enjoy hanging out with Steady and me if this works out. However, as I said, I have two reasons for asking you in tonight. I’d like to pick your brain.”

“Oh? In what way?” the earth stallion asked before taking a large bite out of an apple turnover.

“I’m looking for insights into Equestria’s military. After the recent altercation with Tirek, I believe a shake-up is needed, but I need some education in those matters before I start shooting off my mouth in ignorance. While you won’t be the sole source of my edification, I want to get an insider’s viewpoint and experience. Do you reckon that you can do that for me, Crimson Boulder?”

“I’ll try my best, ah, Mark.”

“Awesome! Let’s enjoy these pastries and coffee first, then we can get down to business.”

Not surprisingly, Crimson Boulder was a little wary of my unexpected offer to be friends, and so it took a while for him to completely relax. It’s not as if it was a one-way thing either. I was taking a chance with asking a Royal Guard with whom I’d exchanged only a few words of greeting into my personal space, but I genuinely wanted some more male buddies and I had a good feeling about him. As the evening went on, we both got a better appreciation for each other, and with Steady there being obviously at ease with his supposed superior, he finally let his guard down and chatted without reservation.

We didn’t just talk about the military though. I found out that he was a bachelor like me, although not without fillyfriends. He liked ten-pin bowling, so I told him about my first disastrous efforts. After he finished laughing, he invited me and Steady to have a game with him later that week which we accepted. We found that we had a pub that we liked in common, although I liked it more for the craft beer that they served rather than the barmaids that Crimson liked to flirt with. After several months in Equestria, I was gaining an appreciation for the finer points of feminine pony beauty and had to agree that they were easy on the eyes.

We would have chatted for a lot longer except that Crimson had to turn in for the night to be fully rested for duty the next day. I promised that we’d chat again tomorrow evening before Steady let him out.

When the door had closed behind the earth pony, Steady said, “Nice guy. I like him a lot.”

“Me too. Really earthy sense of humor, which I suppose is not too surprising.”

“Are you going to tell him about Marklestia?”

“Not yet. I think we both need to be more familiar with each other and build some trust before I let him onto that secret.”

Steady nodded. “I’d play it safe for a while. His indoctrination into loyalty to the alicorns might cause him some angst. Even though your alter ego is only a pegacorn, you still look exactly like Celestia barring your cutie mark.”

Recalling how the citizens of Ponyville had reacted, I had to agree. “Don’t worry – deep friendships take a while to form. I’ll wait until he’s ready for that.”

“So – did you learn from him what you wanted to know?”

“Yes, for the most part. Now I want to have a chat with someone higher on the chain of command and see things from that point of view.”

“Who did you have in mind?”

“Prince Shining Armor.”

Steady blinked. “You don’t aim low, do you?”

I grinned. “Helps to know ponies in high places.”

Once he learned that I was researching the ineffectiveness of the military in significant recent events, Shining Armor set aside half a day to meet with me. I came back from the Crystal Empire with pages of notes and a decent idea of what I was going to present. It took a week to get everything ready, and a dry run with Shining Armor let me do some fine tuning before his wife arrived the following day.

The next morning I was as ready as I would ever be. I just hoped the others would forgive me for what I was about to do.

Trixie, Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor all filed into the small conference room in Canterlot Castle. Shining put up a shield spell to keep everypony else out, and his sister put up wards to prevent anyone from listening in. Because no known magic could stop scroll delivery by dragonfire, Spike or the Guild of Mages could still reach us if an emergency arose.

I braced myself – this was not going to be pleasant. “Thank you all for agreeing to this summit meeting. I neither expected nor wanted the title of Knight of the Realm with the rank and responsibility that came with it, but I assure you that I take it very seriously. With this in mind, I have undertaken a review of Equestria’s military readiness to cope with extraordinary circumstances and found it extremely wanting. As I am not a military expert, I consulted with Prince Shining Armor to verify my findings and identify areas where we desperately need to make improvements.”

I looked at them with a frown. “Let’s start with where we are right now. I’ve already heard what Shining has to say on the matter, so I’d like to learn what everypony else has done or plans to do. What changes were made in the Royal Guards and the Equestrian armed forces as a result of the Changeling Invasion?”

The three mares looked at each other, then Twilight answered. “Additional research was started to detect changeling magic and counter their illusions. New spells have been created and existing ones modified. Sweeps are done throughout the castle on an irregular schedule. Biographical data has been compiled on all castle staff members and military ponies. Random members of both are questioned informally to determine if they recall these unimportant facts that no changeling infiltrator would know.”

Trixie continued. “A bounty on changelings, living or dead, has been extended to all nations, including agreements to share intelligence on their race. To date, we have not shared our additional countermeasures with any groups except for the griffons and of course the Crystal Empire.”

“And do we have any defectors or live specimens? Do we know about any other changeling hives? If so, are they a threat too?”

Cadance said, “No to the first two questions, and unknown to the last.”

I looked at the pink alicorn. “And what about military tactics? How has the Royal Guard, the Crystal Pony military, and the Equestrian Navy and Army changed to better deal with the threat?”

She looked to her husband, but he sat impassively. I had to give him marks for that. Cadance looked back to me. “After a six-week study, the senior military leadership determined the problem to be lack of training. Troops are being rotated through—”

I held up a hoof to stop her. “Same question with Tirek. What has changed to deal with that kind of threat?”

Twilight shifted uncomfortably. “There is no preliminary report out yet, although we’ve been promised one in four weeks’ time.”

“I’m sure Equestria’s enemies will be gracious enough to wait a month or two while we get our act together,” I replied sarcastically. I sighed and frowned, gripping the skin at the top of my muzzle with a hoof. After waiting a full minute, I asked, “Does anyone here think that is good enough? Any of it?”

Trixie said, “In your role as Grand Vizier and now Knight of the Realm, if you have suggestions on how to improve—”

“I have already brought up the need for a vastly improved communications system; if I had others, I would have said so already. No, if I just had suggestions, this meeting would not be necessary. The situation is far too potentially catastrophic to simply make ‘suggestions’. ”

Looking around the room, I saw that I certainly had their attention now. “Let me tell you something about my world that you’re really not going to like but you need to know and understand. I apologize in advance for the distress that I am about to cause you. A century ago, we used to approach war in a way similar to how you ponies do now – respect for the enemy’s basic rights; allowing bodies to be removed from the battlefield; keeping conflict away from civilian areas; that sort of thing. And then, everything changed.”

I stood up and started pacing. “A hundred years ago, the opening months of war resulted in ten thousand humans dying and ten thousand more wounded on each side, every single day. Soon, there were no more soldiers left to throw into the grinder and all the rules of war went out the window. Killing civilians. Poison gas attacks. Nonstop bombardments of explosive shells that would last for days. The next war was worse. Cities of hundreds of thousands killed. Entire populations killed or starved to death. Millions dead.”

Twilight vomited up her breakfast, quickly followed by Cadance. Trixie was trembling and went pale.

I waited until they had recovered somewhat before continuing. I pointed a foreleg to the side. “Somewhere out there, you have an enemy that is perfectly willing to do that and more to you. Chrysalis would have enslaved all ponykind and bred you like carp to use you as nothing but a food source. Tirek would have continued his rampage and let every last pony die, not to mention all other beings that rely on magic for survival. Shining Armor has enlightened me about major threats from the past such as windigos that could have destroyed Equestrian civilization. And from what little I’ve gathered from our foreign intelligence, I’m sure there are worse out there.”

I straightened up. “Here – let me give you an example of what war can be.” I pulled two brass cylinders from a cloth bag I had sitting on the desk. One end of each had been filed and polished into a blunt point. The smallest was about half an inch long. The largest an inch and a half. “Imagine this is flying through the air at the speed of sound at a line of Equestrian soldiers. Now picture this being done accurately from three hundred yards away. Now imagine each enemy soldier can cast out ten of these per second, all from a hoof-held device that requires minimal training. That is what the science-based technology from my world could do. With the addition of the magic of yours, the lethality could be made much worse.”

I tossed the larger cylinder to Shining Armor. I had not shown the dummy shells to him earlier. “You have one of the strongest magical shields in Equestria, right? If this was travelling at twice the speed of sound and all that kinetic energy hit a point on your shield the size of the tip of this shell, what would happen?”

The prince rolled the brass cylinder on his hoof. “If I was protecting a city, the area around the impact would be weakened for several seconds. If my shield was just protecting myself, it would stop the shell but shatter in the process. The feedback would prevent me from casting a new shield for around a minute.”

I turned to the remaining Equestrian leaders. “Waiting six weeks to be told that everything in ‘the book’ is just fine and soldiers just need to better understand what is in ‘the book’ is no longer acceptable. Your enemies have read ‘the book’ and are using your incompetence and predictability to defeat you.”

I slammed my hoof on the table. “I want every senior member of the military and Royal Guard to be fired. Let go. Told their services are no longer required. That would send the right message. That doing things the same old way is no longer acceptable. I don’t want the likes of General Forthright telling me or anyone else in authority to mind our own business because he ‘knows better’.”

Twilight spoke. “I … I don’t think military regulations will allow this. There are limits on what the princesses are allowed to change.”

Shining Armor said, “Actually, sister, if a declaration of war is made, then you and Trixie would have the authority to do so. Nevertheless, I believe that is going too far.”

I waved a hoof. “If you can’t stomach that, then give them the option of retiring or being demoted back to Lieutenant rank. If they can prove themselves to be competent enough to be promoted again, so be it. As Knight of the Realm and the top-most authority under the Crown, I insist upon it.”

No pony spoke, so I continued. “My job, the job that you foisted upon me, is to make sure Equestria and the Crystal Empire are ready when, not if, the next enemy comes. There are smart ponies in the services that can solve these problems and make new strategies. Tactics from the single soldier all the way up to full army level. Equipment improvements. Taking the information from the foreign services department and feeding it into strategy sessions and adjusting our tactics.”

I placed a deck of playing cards on the table. I picked up the first and showed it was a blank card that now had my writing on it. “Using what I remember from Earth’s conflicts, our literature, and even several role-playing games, I put together a set of fifty-two scenarios and challenges for our potential new top officers and non-coms. I’ll also be asking soldiers to provide their own suggestions. Shining Armor picked out sixteen individuals who I’ll run through the first session later today. Shining will be disguised as a generic Royal Guardsman and will take notes. We hope to have recommendations for promotions by the end of the week. We’ll also likely have a list of ponies that simply can’t adjust to the new reality of the threats to Equestria. They can serve Equestria in other ways than be in the military. Either they decide on their own to leave or we can help them out the door. After one year, I want to see a military force that has an effective plan of action for any eventuality we can foresee and knows how to formulate one for those that we can’t.”

I looked around the room. “Any questions? Objections?”

Twilight stood up, a bit shaky but determined. “Mark, I had no idea your world was capable of so much… darkness. It’s a miracle that you came out of that environment as the person that you are.” She took a deep breath. “The magic of Harmony and Friendship are real here, Mark. I’m afraid that if Equestria goes down the path your world did, then all that magic would die.”

I smiled reassuringly. “That’s why I’m not advocating the use of weapons like those on my world. That’s also why I used an emetic against Tirek rather than something that would have killed him. I want to preserve Equestria’s way of life, but to do that I need ponies to be prepared for everything up to and including the worst possibilities. Ponies who can think, not just act. Pony soldiers need to be confident in their ability to defend their nation. Let’s face it, Twilight – the last two conflicts showed how weak the Equestrian military is right now. Only through radical action will it improve in time for the next. I got lucky with Tirek – we can’t rely on luck in the future.”

Shining said, “No, Mark – we won because you thought outside the box, and that’s exactly what we need to be able to do too. We relied entirely on our conventional magical abilities at a time when magic only compounded the problem. You came up with a solution which used Tirek’s ability to consume magic against him. That’s what you’re trying to teach us, and that’s why you’re the ideal pony for the job, even though you don’t want it.”

As much as I hated to admit it, it took a non-pony like me, or at least like I used to be, to think differently from the normal ponies. And that’s why I was stuck with this job. If I could not get back to Earth and Equestria was going to be my permanent new home, I wanted to protect it to the best of my modest abilities. Maybe Harmony had this in mind for me from the beginning, but I didn’t care anymore. I had friends here that I would do anything to protect, and if it took a former human like me to do it, I would not be found wanting.

I deliberately chose not to wear my badge of office, Knight of the Realm medallion, or Pink Heart of Courage to the classroom. The soldiers I was looking for would not be affected one way or the other by trappings of power. Besides the teacher’s desk at the front, there were sixteen chairs in the center and four small tables, one in each corner. Shining held a clipboard in his magic and stood behind me, the regulation armor and helmet rendering him anonymous. The chairs were filled with an interesting set of young officers and not-quite-so-young sergeants, all in civilian dress or none at all. Each sat at attention as the last of them to arrive found a chair. Two crystal ponies, four pegasi, four unicorns, two thestrals, three earth ponies, and a griffon made up the class. To a last one, they did not stare directly ahead as they waited. Instead, their gazes wandered around to the other occupants, most frequently to me. That was a good sign – inquisitive minds that chose not to suppress the curiosity their training had attempted to drive out of them. It also meant I didn’t need to introduce myself — they would already know who I am and my position in the Equestrian government.

The moment the last one was seated, I nodded to the door. Shining Armor closed it with his magic and the walls, ceiling, and floor glowed as the room’s privacy wards activated. I pointed to the thick tome on the edge of the desk. “Who can give me the title of this book?” Every hoof and claw went up almost simultaneously. I couldn’t help but grin.

I looked at the closest student and nodded. She was an earth pony with two crossed anchors as her cutie mark: one gold and one silver. “Sir. That is the Equestrian Military Handbook, Revised Edition.”

I looked to the thestral on her left. Her cutie mark was an open book and a quill pen. “And when was it revised?”

“Sir. Two hundred and fifty-seven years ago, next month.”

Hmm. I hadn’t known it down to the month. I looked to the back at the crystal pony mare. “And after that major revision, what are the extent of the changes made on a yearly basis?”

She blinked. “Umm… sir, I believe the only updates are to keep the troop and population levels current.”

I nodded. “Do you know where I found this? In a used bookstore a short jog away from the palace. Nothing illegal about it being for sale there. It’s not like something that ancient and codified can be kept secret anyway.”

I stood up and walked in front of the table. I nodded to the lone griffon hen. “And what do you think Equestria’s enemies do with this illustrated guidebook to all of our tactics and procedures?”

“They use it to find our weaknesses and exploit them.”

I let that hang in the air for a few moments. Without looking, I tapped the volume with my hoof and it toppled into the wastebasket below. “Today’s class will be about changing this. From this point forward, everyone is at ease and a full partner in coming up with solutions. I will present a scenario and you will all have to work in teams to determine possible solutions. You will present three possible approaches and defend why you chose your favorite.” I picked up the deck of playing cards from the table and held it up. “I’ve written out fifty-two scenarios as a starting point. At the end of our hour together, I’d like you to suggest your own. They can cover any aspect of our joint mission to protect Equestria and the Crystal Empire that you feel could be improved.”

I shuffled the cards loosely and flipped the top one so I could read it. “Ah! Princess Celestia has returned but she is insane.” I looked up. “In a matter of hours, she killed every citizen of Vanhoover. Delegations consisting of ponies she personally knew and cared about have all been killed as well. Your intelligence has revealed that she will be advancing towards Canterlot next after a known amount of time. You have 100% confidence in the time estimate.”

“Each of you is in a group of four that is closest to a corner table. Each group has a different amount of time to prepare for her arrival. I pointed to the different tables in turn. Group 1: You have four hours. Group 2: Four days. Group 3: Four months. Group 4: Four years. Sergeant Scratchy…” I nodded to Shining Armor who raised an eyebrow. “…will be observing but not participating. Each group has an hour to make their recommendations. Begin.”

I let Shining walk around with the clipboard while I sat at my desk, making observations. Swiveling my ears to listen in to each table in turn, I was again impressed with the caliber of minds that Shining had found for this preliminary class. I had not actually chosen the scenario randomly, but to weed out any old guard that had their priorities wrong. Not one balked at the notion of opposing their former ruler for the sake of the ponies they had sworn to protect.

After twenty-five minutes, I called a halt. Everyone turned to me. I smirked. “No, this is not the mind game where you were supposed to be done in half the time you were allotted.” That got some chuckles and smiles. Apparently, everyone was more than familiar with that trick. “Instead, the teams are going to share the ideas you have come up with so far. If you are sitting at the outside corner of your table, stay there. Otherwise, move to the table closest to where you are sitting. Each new table will have one member from each old table. Continue.” The ponies and griffon rearranged themselves and discussion resumed. “Sergeant Scratchy” gave me a quick grin then went back to cycling around the tables.

I gave the teams a five-minute warning then called time. Each had nominated a presenter and defended their conclusions. I let Shining do the majority of the questioning while I wrote down notes to supplement the extensive ones already taken by Shining. The ideas ranged from producing a clone to fight Celestia (perhaps precipitated by certain rumors), to producing clouds of nullstone dust, to overpowering her with a thousand hidden unicorns at the outskirts of town, to reactivating the Elements of Harmony, to forming a mutual-defense pact with Queen Chrysalis. The last one was the most surprising but was well defended by the speaker arguing that everything that had been developed to detect and counter the changelings could be tried surreptitiously during the chaos of battle, likely resulting in a drastic reduction of the threat the changelings would hold in the future. I wrote down Lieutenant Race Sulky as one to watch.

After the participants had provided a couple dozen more scenario suggestions, I thanked every pony and hen for coming. After they had left, Shining Armor took off his helmet. “Were you satisfied, Grand Vizier?”

“It’s still Mark. And yes. All of these soldiers were outstanding. I suspect you don’t have another group that promising lined up for the second session?”

He shook his head. “All these were the best of the best. It will be hit or miss from now on. You should have saved the ‘Celestia’ scenario for some of the ponies that accepted demotion.”

I waved a hoof. “I wanted to use it now to gauge reactions. I should have picked up more quickly that this was not a typical group.”

The Prince sighed as he sat down. “I have to admit my complicity in all this, Mark. I saw many of these problems while I was in the Royal Guard. I tried to suggest better ways to prepare guardsmen for their duties. My ideas were appreciated but rarely acted upon. Once I got to the top position...” he paused, then sighed. “I’m afraid Celestia was even less interested in having the force be more than occasional policemen for the generally law-abiding citizenry. I had to threaten to resign my commission just to get the best quality weapons for every soldier under my command.”

I smiled. “I think your fiancée at the time would have screamed at her aunt for days in the full Royal Canterlot Voice if Celestia had accepted your resignation.”

He snorted. “Wasn’t on my mind at the time. I should have pushed harder. Much harder. The result of my failure, you already know.”

“Well, you now have the opposite problem. By the time we’re done with these sessions, we will have too many ideas to pursue all of them.”

He gave me a genuine smile. “A good problem to have. I assume that since you brought it up, you already have a solution?”

I nodded. “Cost-Benefit Analysis. Something Raven is already somewhat familiar with, at least in general terms. You score different alternatives based on their risk; possible benefit; and the resources needed in ponies, time, and bits. We also have the advantage that no pony is better than your sister at evaluating ideas on new fields or applications of magic.”

“The hardest part is getting her to delegate the research. She’s going to hate that.”

“She has to. There will be too many important projects going on at once. And that’s in addition to all of her other royal duties. Besides, after the first round of projects are complete, she’ll have a team of researchers that will allow her to multiply what she could have ever done on her own.”

“And there’s the carrot.” Shining chuckled as he got up, stowing away his papers as he put on his saddlebags. “Trixie has several ideas on how our nations can project the appearance of a formidable military during this period when the chain of command is still being determined. Cady is tearing through the procedures of the departments in the castle to speed up the approval process for everything, and yes, I do mean everything. But now, it would only be polite to meet our mares for dinner.” He glanced back to me with a questioning look.

I shook my head and grinned. I likewise put away my notes and card deck then donned my panniers. I lifted the Equestrian Military Handbook, Revised Edition out of the wastebasket and set it at the edge of the desk again. I trotted through the door he held open for me. “I think you hang around your wife a bit too much. Her nosiness is rubbing off on you.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Nothing like nearly dying to make one take one's role very seriously, even one unasked for.

If you have read this far and haven't given the story a thumbs-up yet, we'd certainly appreciate it!

Celestia’s first true love Mountain Blood is a shout out to Aegis Shield.

And if you'd like to leave a tip, I have a Kofi account. :twilightsheepish:

Chapter 25 - Strange Visit

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with me?” I asked Steady.

The stallion rolled his eyes. “Unless you change your itinerary, what makes you think I would enjoy this 'girls’ day out' of yours?”

I smirked and waggled my eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t you want to be surrounded by lots of mares?”

He gave me a flat look. “Well, you would be one of those mares, for starters. I still don’t get it – why do you want to do such girlish things anyway? You certainly don’t behave that way when we go to the pub or play a few games of ten-pin bowling.”

I paused my packing to regard my friend seriously. “When I was first transformed by the poison joke, I was shocked and worried that I might not be able to become a stallion again for a long time, but after Twilight reassured me that the cure was simple and effective, I relaxed and let myself enjoy the temporary change of form. What I didn’t expect to discover was how much I enjoyed being Marklestia. Believe me, I was puzzled at first when I realized that I wanted to experience that again. The more I became a mare, the more I became comfortable with my alter ego, but I didn’t understand why until recently when I visited the Crystal Empire. Princess Cadance actually opened my eyes to that. Turns out that being Princess of Love doesn’t mean just romantic love, but all kinds of love including of oneself.”

“I don’t get it,” Steady confessed.

“It’s simple, really. We are happiest when we understand ourselves and live by that. In my case, it was important to realize that everyone has a masculine and a feminine side. Of course, most stallions have a very strong masculine side, while most mares have a very strong feminine side. However, it’s our opposite side that tempers our personalities. My case is special though because when I become Marklestia, my personality shifts to my feminine side so that I behave and enjoy doing female stuff. I was asked if I wanted to have a girls’ day out in Ponyville while I was a mare and that intrigued me, so I agreed to do it this weekend.”

“But you’re a stallion now, so why do you feel the need to go through with it? Surely you don’t think it’s a great idea now?”

I chuckled. “No, I don’t right now, but I also know that once I’m Marklestia, my enthusiasm will return in full. You see, while my personal leanings may change between forms, I’m still me. I am one hundred percent Mark Wells whether I am a mare or a stallion, and I remember what it’s like to be the opposite gender. That’s why I am now totally comfortable with myself as a mare, even though I still prefer to be my normal stallion self for the majority of the time. I’m privileged to be able to enjoy both sides of my nature. Besides, I promised the girls I’d do it.”

“Okay, but now that you’re currently a stallion, you should realize why I don’t want to be involved.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, but it would have been fun having you there as the token male. I could get lessons from plenty of perspectives about how to tease you.”

Steady rolled his eyes again. “Some friend you are.”

“Don’t worry – we’ll plan something to suit us both next weekend,” I replied with a laugh.

I finished packing my saddlebags. Because I was effectively packing for two, the contents had grown considerably from my initial trips to Ponyville. I was also taking some gifts for my friends in another pack. Steady offered to carry it to the station for me, but I told him to go and enjoy his evening in whatever stallion-y way he preferred as I would get Crimson Boulder to carry it for me. The Royal Guard had been reassigned as my personal guardian after both Princesses had insisted that my elevated status required a full-time attendant. After failing to convince them I didn’t need one, I had nominated Crimson for the post. He was delighted by the promotion which helped our budding friendship, so at least I gained some benefit that way. Unfortunately, the flip side was having to ditch him when I wanted to become Marklestia. I still hadn’t decided on whether to let him into my confidence yet, but I was about to go to a town where virtually everypony knew it and yet still managed to keep it to themselves. However, there had been increasing rumors of sightings of Celestia circulating, so I doubt that it was a perfectly kept secret.

Steady opened the door to my quarters and informed Crimson that I was ready to depart. The burly earth pony barely noticed the weight of the pack that Steady lifted and placed on his back. It wouldn’t hinder him in the slightest in the performance of his duties. I said my farewell to Steady, and Crimson and I headed out to catch the train.

Both Twilight and Rarity were at the Ponyville station to greet me upon arrival. As I was a guest in the alicorn’s castle, she insisted upon being the perfect host. As for the fashionista – I knew exactly why she was there despite the late hour. I had to admit that I was flattered, and if I had been interested in having a fillyfriend, Rarity would be a strong contender, especially as the mare liked me just as much in either of my forms and she really brought out the mare in me during those fashion parades. I also liked that she was willing to challenge me when I had my head up my plot, which I think some of the other girls were too polite to do.

Twilight had assigned one of the new castle’s many rooms as my permanent quarters for whenever I visited. Some of the stuff that I had packed for this trip was destined to stay here and personalize the bare room, and of course, to stock up my bathroom with the necessities for both my mild-mannered royal advisor and leap-tall-buildings-in-a-single-wing-assisted-bound forms. After Crimson had deposited my pack, I dismissed him so that he could go off-duty. He told me he intended to enter a marathon bowling tournament in town and perhaps find some fillies worth looking up on return trips since he knew my stops here were a regular occurrence. Friendship Castle, as Twilight had named it, was secured by Royal Guards at both of the entrances – the main front door and the upper balcony. The alicorn hadn’t wanted any at all, but after insisting on one for me, she didn’t have a leg to stand on when applying the same logic to her own domicile.

Spike informed me that supper would be ready soon, but Twilight insisted on showing me something first. She led me downstairs to one of the larger rooms that branched from the throne room. To my surprise, it was partially-filled with shelves of books.

“How’d you get so many books so quickly?” I asked.

“Simple! These all came from the Castle of the Two Sisters,” Twilight replied smugly. “I had the entire contents transferred here over the past week. Now I’ll be able to research the books at my convenience and they won’t be affected by restoration work on the castle. I’ve also got large orders with various publishers coming in to replace the books that were destroyed by Tirek. By the time I have this room filled, I will have the second biggest collection in the world. Only the Royal Canterlot Library will have more, and those mostly being unique and rare items.”

I grinned. “I bet you’d snarf them up too if allowed.”

Twilight blushed and nodded. “You know me too well.”

“What else have you already brought here?”

“I had all the portal mirrors transferred to my new laboratory. The one that Cadance was safekeeping arrived only yesterday.”

I gave the purple alicorn a suspicious look. “How close to being finished is this new laboratory?”

“Oh, I’d estimate 87% so far.”

“And when it’s done… guinea pig?”

She just grinned widely at me.

I looked to the heavens and sighed. “Thought so.”

The three of us enjoyed the supper that Spike had prepared, and we discussed our plans for the next day before retiring for the night. It was the end of a very long day for me, so I fell asleep almost the moment that my head hit the pillow. My last thought was that Rainbow Dash must have approved these beds – mine was as soft and embracing as a cloud!

I had set my alarm for an early rise, giving me time to shower, transform into Marklestia, and primp and prepare for the day out. I now better understood why females took longer to get ready than males. A couple of the simpler spells that I had managed to learn dealt with speeding up this process though, so I was able to get down to the breakfast table in a reasonable amount of time. Twilight was already on her second mug of coffee, so she was almost ready to face the day. Spike piled a large stack of syrup-coated pancakes on my plate which I quickly ate and asked for seconds. Hey! I’m a big mare with a big appetite – don’t judge me! I washed them down with a large mug of orange juice and a café latte. Spike’s also an awesome barista.

Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash joined us not much later, also enjoying a coffee courtesy of Spike before we got our day underway. Only Applejack was yet to arrive, but she had morning chores to attend to first. The life of a farmer was a busy one all week, and it was remarkable that we had managed to persuade her to take most of a day off. I was just glad that all of my friends could participate in this day out.

It was remarkable to be able to walk around Ponyville in my mare form. My friends kept their eyes open for non-residents of the town, especially Dash who maintained an aerial watch, so I was able to move about with little concern. Despite being the home of one of Equestria’s rulers, Ponyville remained a quiet village for now, and there were few visitors on the weekends. The biggest trick was giving the Royal Guards the slip so we could enjoy the day without them intruding on us. Fortunately, Twilight was adept at teleporting us past them.

I was frequently stopped by the locals who wanted to either just say hello, express their gratitude once again, or have a brief chat. Some insisted on bowing to me, but I told all of them that there was only one Princess here and I wasn’t it. Didn’t stop a single one of them though. Can’t win them all, I suppose.

We did all the things that mares did when out in a group. Shopping was high on the list. Rarity helped me pick out a lovely sunhat that I wore the rest of the time we walked around. We also visited a furniture shop to offer our views as to what would suit Twilight’s castle because only a handful of rooms had any furnishings. There was a huge difference of opinion amongst them which I helped get them to compromise on. I can’t imagine what the place would look like if they all had their way. Twilight was just too accommodating to her friends’ whims. Throughout the process, Davenport, the earth pony proprietor, was ecstatic at the prospect of a furniture order larger than anything he had previously dreamed was possible for this small village. He pulled me aside and told me that Twilight was already his best customer because of all the quill pens that she went through. I was reminded of her exothermic research methods and was suddenly glad her new laboratory was still under construction.

We had luncheon at Café Hay, the fanciest restaurant in town, my treat. I had little to spend my money on anyway, so why not spend it on my friends? Then, before Rainbow Dash blew a gasket, those with wings among us went flying. Naturally, she and I outflew the others, but we didn’t abandon them. Instead, we incorporated them into our sky-dance and put on a show for those still ground-bound. After that, we all headed to the spa where we had the deluxe package. We had booked out the place so that the staff could devote their full attention to just us. By the way, Bulk Biceps gives the most awesome massages and I highly recommend him. Even Applejack had to concede that the stallion knew how to work out the knots in her muscles.

We left the spa tired but highly satisfied. We started heading back to Twilight’s castle to wind down for the day and find out what Spike had prepared for dinner. The citizens of Ponyville obviously had similar plans as there was a general surge of ponies heading for their homes, although we met Vinyl Scratch pushing her equipment in the opposite direction. Saturday nights had to be her busiest, I presumed, and she was probably going to set up for a gig. I high-hoofed her and turned to continue onward, only to nearly bump into another pony emerging from a side street.

“Oops! Sorry about that. Wasn’t looking…” My apology ground to a stop as I recognized the pony with whom I nearly collided. “Crimson?”

The off-duty Royal Guard gaped at me in shock before abruptly bowing deeply. “Your Highness! You have returned at last!”

Oh, crap. I glanced upwards to where Rainbow Dash was hovering and hissed, “What happened to warning me?!”

The multi-hued mare gave me a puzzled look. “I thought your personal guard already knew?”

I facehoofed.

“Rainbow, darling – weren’t you paying attention when Mark told you about Crimson Boulder?”

Dash just shrugged.

Meanwhile, Crimson had looked up from his bowed position with a bewildered expression. “Your Highness?”

I sighed. “Get up, please, Crimson Boulder. Despite my looks, I’m not Princess Celestia. This wasn’t the way that I intended to tell you, but look at my cutie mark.” I turned to show my hindquarters.

The way Crimson’s eyes boggled was quite comical. He started spluttering. “What? How? But that’s impossible. I mean, no way! How did you get Mark Wells’ cutie mark?”

I facehoofed again.

Pinkie Pie burst into a fit of giggles. “No, silly! Mark got Celestia’s everything else!”

Well, that was one way of putting it, I suppose.

“I’m Mark Wells, Crimson. I can shape-change into this form. Long story.” I could tell that he was still failing to process this. Damn it. I said I wouldn’t change back until after dinner which was when our girls’ day out officially ended, but… “Twilight – would you hold my saddlebags for me, please?”

The alicorn obliged and I activated my magic. Abruptly, I was a small pegasus once more, and my lovely sunhat was now too big and flopped over my eyes so I didn’t see Crimson’s reaction. I sure heard him gasp though.

“Lord Wells! Wait! Is Mark Wells Princess Celestia’s secret identity?”

I lifted my hat up to stare at him in disbelief. “No! I’m just Mark Wells! I told you – I’m a shapeshifter.”

“You’re a changeling?!”

“Are you freaking messing with me?!” I yelled. “No, I’m not a changeling!”

Twilight decided to step in. “Sergeant Crimson Boulder, Mark Wells gained the ability to take Celestia’s form first due to poison joke, and then had that form become a permanent alter ego due to a massive infusion of magic. Now he likes to spend time with us occasionally in that form. The citizens of Ponyville are all privy to that secret as he used it to defeat Tirek, so that’s why she was openly walking around the town today.”

Crimson blinked as comprehension dawned. “So that’s why you wanted me to take the day off so badly.”

“Exactly. I didn’t want this to color our growing friendship yet. I intended to tell you soon.”

“I have so many questions…”

“Which I will answer later. We’re headed back to the castle for dinner right now.”

Rarity cleared her throat and looked at me pointedly.

Oops! I changed back into Marklestia. A promise is a promise. “Sorry, Crimson, but I have a previous engagement,” I said in Celestia’s sweet tones.

“This is so weird,” the earth pony said, staring at my Celestial form.

I giggled. “You don’t know the half of it!” That could have gone worse, I suppose. It was going to be an interesting talk with Crimson later, but right now I was looking forward to having dinner with my friends.

Once again, Twilight teleported us past the guards. As we passed through the entry hall and into the throne room, I asked my friends to wait for a moment. I’d been taking photographs all day of us doing everything, and I wanted to finish it off by getting each of them to pose on their thrones. I did Rainbow Dash first in case she lost patience waiting her turn. I was intrigued by how the cutie marks on each crystal chair lit up when they sat upon them, and it made for some impressive portraits. Maybe I could persuade Twilight to get some sort of table in there later and take another group picture of them looking serious as a meeting of Equestria’s Harmony Bearers. That was a project for another day though, and dinner awaited us.

Spike did us proud and had a wonderful feast ready for us with the help of some recently hired castle staff who had already left for the day. Once again, Trixie had been adamant that Twilight have some servants cater to guests so that she could concentrate on her royal duties. So far, that had boiled down to just her close friends and Twilight’s parents when they had visited earlier during the week, but it gave the staff something to do. As we dined, we recounted the events of the day including bumping into Crimson Boulder.

“Told you that you should’ve let him know last night,” Spike said. “Knowing your luck, meeting him today was inevitable.”

I sighed. “You were correct. I owe you ten bits.” Yeah, I bet him that he would be wrong. I should have known better.

After dinner, we settled into the lounge room that had just been furnished with the chairs and sofas that had been delivered in time for us to enjoy them this evening. A lot more was yet to come, but we had what we needed for now. Spike brought us our beverages of choice and we chatted a lot. Frankly, as a stallion, I would have been bored pretty quickly, but as I had told Steady, my attitude and biases swung toward the feminine in my Marklestia form. Naturally, I gossiped as much as any other mare.

I had promised a full day as Marklestia, and considering that we were capping off the day with a slumber party, I wasn’t about to switch back to my normal male form anyway. The girls made it quite clear that they were not sleeping with a stallion, period! I had to chuckle to myself though. Individually, several of those mares were either subtly or blatantly chasing after me, but as a group, they thought it was improper. I wonder if I’ll ever get accustomed to the social dynamics of this world. Then again, I was currently a mare, so who was I to complain?

Silly but fun slumber party games ensued, complete with several pillows losing their life due to earth pony strength or sharp horns. As the last of the down feathers floated to the ground, we gradually settled into quiet conversations. Those also faded out as the mares fell asleep one by one. I’m not sure if I was the last to succumb, but I do recall Rarity using my barrel as a pillow. I drifted off to sleep feeling quite content.

I had no idea what the time was when I was disturbed by distant shouting and muffled noises. I lifted my head to blearily look around the darkened room, my ears swiveling to try to locate the source of the sound that had woken me. I realized that whatever it was, it was happening somewhere in the depths of the castle. Since the only ponies who should be awake at that time would be the Night Guard, that was a little alarming, so I decided to get up and investigate.

That proved to be a little difficult. Rarity was still fast asleep, drooling on my back. I thought I might use telekinesis to shift her, but that’s when I discovered that I had reverted to my normal stallion self during my sleep. That would have been very awkward to explain in the morning, but right now it was a different problem. That’s also when I remembered that even if I was in my Marklestia form, my telekinesis was still in the ‘brush it lightly or throw it into orbit’ stage of control. Fortunately, I was able to lift her head with my wing gently enough to crawl away from under her and put her head down elsewhere.

The ruckus outside was getting louder, and I managed to make out somepony calling out to an intruder to stop. I didn’t want the girls to be upset, so I was careful to make my way around the sleeping mares and slip through the door. Bedazzled by the bright lighting in the corridor, I failed to notice a pony hurtling in my direction. Our skulls crashed together and we fell to the floor in a dizzy heap. Next thing that I knew, a thestral Night Guard was bending over me, asking if I was okay. With the beginnings of a huge headache making my head throb, I nevertheless managed to reply in the affirmative and strained to get up to see who I had just collided with.

It was a pale yellow unicorn mare with bright yellow and red striped mane and tail. The thestral’s partner was slipping a magic-suppressing ring on her horn as she groaned in semi-conscious pain. It seemed that I had the harder head – not too surprising considering the number of times I had used it to break my fall over the past few months.

“Who is this?” I asked.

“No idea, sir. We encountered her skulking about inside the castle and she took off when I ordered her to halt. We’ve been chasing her around the corridors for several minutes, but she eluded us up until you stopped her.”

“You’re pretty fast with those wings,” I observed. “How come you couldn’t catch her?”

“She teleported whenever I got close to her, sir.”

“I see.” Teleportation was a highly advanced skill. Not any unicorn could master it. That horn ring was certainly a necessity until we figured out why she was trespassing in Twilight’s castle. The hoofcuffs that were now being added would stop her running away again.

“Take her down to the—”

“What’s going on here?” Twilight’s voice interrupted me.

Damn it! I had hoped that I could get this sorted out without disturbing anypony until it could be dealt with in the morning. My head throbbed a bit more. “The guards caught an intruder,” I replied.

“With the help of Sir Wells,” added the thestral.

“Yes, I used my head,” wincing at my own bad pun. “I was just about to have her taken down to the… um… does this castle even have a dungeon?”

“I don’t think so, but I would like to talk to this mare anyway. I don’t understand why anypony would want to sneak into my castle. It’s not as if everypony isn’t welcome to visit me during daylight hours anyway.”

“Ooooh…” groaned the mystery mare. “Did someone get the license plate of the truck that hit me?”

I blinked and stared at her. Truck? License plate? Those weren’t things in magical tiny horse land. I was suddenly very interested in talking to this mare too.

“Who are you?” Twilight asked sternly.

The mare tried to get to her hooves but got tangled with the hoofcuffs and fell over again. She craned her head up to look up at her questioner and gasped. “You… you’re an alicorn!”

Twilight tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “You’ve invaded my domain and yet don’t even know about me?”

I decided to up the ante. “You are in the presence of Princess Twilight Sparkle, co-ruler of the Diarchy of Equestria, Bearer of the Element of Magic, and Princess of Friendship. Answer Her Highness’ question!” I said sternly.

Twilight gave me a curious look before turning her attention back to the intruder.

“Princess…? Co-ruler…? What’s going on?” she sputtered before noticing my glare. “My name is Sunset Shimmer,” she finally answered.

Twilight frowned thoughtfully. “Sunset Shimmer? I seem to recall somepony by that name. Something about a former student of Celestia before me.”

“Yes, that was me. I left under… strained circumstances. But how could you have ascended after being Celestia’s student for such a short time?”

Now both Twilight and I were puzzled. Something was not adding up here. The purple alicorn was about to speak when another voice interrupted.

“What in Sam Hill is goin’ on out here? Cain’t a body get some sleep? Ah got chores in the mornin’!”

Sunset Shimmer’s head snapped around to stare at the farm mare. “Applejack?” she asked uncertainly.

The earth pony gave the unicorn a curious look. “Do Ah know you?”

“It’s me, Sunset Shimmer!”

Applejack shrugged. “That name don’t ring no bell for me.”

“But…” Sunset trailed off, obviously confused.

“Mark, darling – don’t you know it’s rude to abandon a mare in the middle of the night?”

Rarity stood in the doorway in all her mane- and tail-curler enhanced glory, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Is everyone awake now?” I asked.

“Well, you’re hardly being quiet out here, so it should not come as a surprise, dear.”

She was right – we had neglected to keep our voices down, and the door was still ajar. I looked back to the pony whose fault it was and caught her staring at the fashionista. I saw her silently mouth the word – ‘Rarity?’ Okay, this was getting weird.

Twilight said, “Perhaps we had better start from the beginning. Let’s do this where we can all be more comfortable.” Her horn lit up and Sunset Shimmer was levitated in its glow. As Twilight carried her into the room, Applejack and Rarity followed. I dismissed the Night Guards.

“Are you sure you will be okay with the prisoner?” the first thestral asked.

“Six of the most powerful mares in Equestria are in that room, so what do you think?” I asked with a smirk.

“Point taken, sir.”

I entered the room just as Twilight was settling Sunset Shimmer on a sofa. The other mares were gathering about her curiously except for Rainbow Dash. That mare could sleep through a thunderstorm! Still, I had a premonition that it was important to have everypony awake for this. It took a bit of doing and some loud complaints, but I managed to rouse the colorful pegasus. She perked up though, once she realized that we had a hoofcuffed prisoner in the room.

“Alright – let’s get started,” Twilight said. “First of all, let me introduce my friends. You seem to already know Applejack. These are Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Mark Wells. Girls, this is Sunset Shimmer who is about to explain to us why she was caught trespassing in my home in the middle of the night.”

Sunset’s eyes had grown wider and her jaw had dropped ever further each time one of the mares was introduced. However, she’d had no reaction to my name. “This can’t be…” she trailed off. I cleared my throat to gain her attention and frowned. “Oh! Sorry. I didn’t mean to enter your home. I fully expected to exit the portal in Canterlot Castle. I also had no idea that it was nighttime.”

My ears had shot up at the mention of the portal, and so had Twilight’s.

“You came through one of the portal mirrors?” the alicorn asked. “You didn’t break it, did you?”

“Yes, I came through the mirror. No, I didn’t break it or any other. As soon as I knew that I was a pony again, I lit my horn to illuminate the room. It wasn’t the same as the one that the mirror had been in when I first used it, so I was confused and disoriented when I left the room.”

I picked out a salient point in Sunset’s answer. “You said ‘as soon as you knew you were a pony again’ – what were you on the other side?”

“A bipedal species that call themselves ‘humans’.”

I looked at Twilight and she stared back at me. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Twilight?”

“I suppose it’s feasible. I didn’t consider the possibility of redundancy, although it does raise other questions.”

Sunset said, “I never met anyone named Mark Wells or Twilight Sparkle there, but–” She waved at the other five mares. “I know all five of you. Or at least your human equivalents.”

Rainbow Dash leaned forward and eagerly asked, “Tell us more about me! How awesome am I there?”

Sunset laughed. “Just as awesome as you are here, I think. You really do have the same personality.” I took this as a good sign. Sunset was starting to relax around us.

Twilight said, “Better yet – start from the beginning when you first went through the portal.”

The yellow mare sighed and stretched out to make herself more comfortable. “Well, it started out about as bad as it possibly could. I exited the portal crawling on all fours, only to notice that all the creatures around me were bipedal. So I stood on my hind legs and saw that everyone there looked like a young adult and they were all staring at me. First, I thought they had seen me exit the portal which was in the base of a statue. Then I noticed that everyone there was wearing clothes on their tops and bottoms, and I wasn’t. All I had were my saddlebags which slid right off of me.” She looked around. “That race has a massive taboo against public nudity, can you believe it?”

I spoke up. “Imagine that.” Applejack poked me in the ribs.

The yellow unicorn looked at me curiously, then continued. “Anyway, the statue was just outside Canterlot High School, and school security whisked me inside. The Principal gave me a shirt, sweats, footwear called flip-flops, and some school supplies from the school’s Lost and Found …”

“What’s a foot?” Rainbow Dash interjected.

“What humans have instead of hind hooves. Anyway, she got me registered in no time flat, gave me a class schedule, and admonished me that even foreign exchange students had to adhere to the school’s dress code.”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “That sounds pretty sweet. Better to make a strong first impression, than be a wallflower.” She blinked and turned to the yellow pegasus. “No offense, Fluttershy.”

Sunset chuckled. “You could say that. The boys I met thought I was the most awesome thing ever. Several asked me that day to be their date to the upcoming school dance. Most of the girls hated me for stealing away the attention of the boys. I was just trying to figure out how to walk correctly and use my newfound hands—” The unicorn held up a forehoof to stop Dash from interrupting again. “Those are like what minotaurs have on the end of their upper limbs – manipulative appendages. I ended up ditching my flip-flops after the third time they caused me to fall. When I returned to the portal after school let out, it was closed – I had no idea for how long. I’d been expecting it to stay open for a couple more days at least. Without my horn and magic, I didn’t know if I could ever get it to open again.”

Fluttershy said, “Oh, dear! That sounds awful.”

Something was bugging me. “I don’t mean to be rude, but… aren’t you a little old to be going to high school?”

Sunset smiled; she hadn’t taken offense. “Actually it was a great place for me to end up. Sheltered and safe, with all the resources I needed to learn about that new world. Also, the transformation gave me the body of a female human that age.”

That was interesting. I wondered what it would do to me? Could this be a virtual fountain of youth? Reset your age every time you pass through the portal?

The purple alicorn tilted her head. “You said ‘most of the girls’.”

Sunset nodded. “I’m not too proud to say I was crying at the base of the statue when all of you found me… at least your human equivalents.”

Pinkie gasped. “Am I a party pony in that world too?”

“Yes, but in human form. I think all of you have the same interests there. Your voices and personalities match theirs, and you even resemble them in a pony sort of way such as your manestyles. It’s some sort of parallel dimension. Anyway, despite me wanting nothing more than to be left alone, the five of you wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and took care of me. Applejack found me a job after school. Rarity sewed a wardrobe for me. Fluttershy found me a place to stay. Rainbow Dash helped me understand how to convert the gold I brought into the local currency and how to not get ripped off. Pinkie Pie stayed with me that whole first week and basically was my physical therapist as I had to relearn how to do everything. By the time the weekend came around, I wanted to just sulk in peace, but none of you would have any of it. You all took me to a carnival, the high school football game, a gaming arcade, and even the Canterlot Zoo. I never had the time or chance to get depressed, and by the time the weekend was over, I realized that for the first time in my life, I had five friends that I truly cared about.”

The five mares all smiled. Pinkie said, “Yep! That sounds like us alright!”

“But as I said, I never met your equivalents,” Sunset said to Twilight and me.

“That might make sense in my case. I need to check this out, Twilight,” I said.

“And we will. Carefully.” Twilight turned back to Sunset. “You said that the portal had closed, but here you are now. How long before it reopened?”

“I’m not sure. I checked it every day that I could, but if it was only open for a few hours, I could have missed it. It’s been about eighteen months since I first went through.”

“And when was that?”

Sunset looked at her quizzically. “I don’t understand the question. About a year and a half ago, as I said.”

“But you don’t know me at all?”

The unicorn shook her head.

The girls and I shared a look with each other. Applejack said, “When exactly did you leave Equestria?”

The mare turned to look at the farm pony. “It was just after Hearth’s Warming in the New Equestrian Year 988.”

Rarity sucked in a breath. After a long silence with Sunset looking around questioningly, the fashion mare said, “That was fifteen years ago, Sunset.”

The unicorn’s jaw dropped. “I… I…” She shivered. “Oh.”

Twilight looked at Applejack and asked, “Is she telling the truth?”

The earth pony sadly nodded. “Every word, Twi.”

“I see.” The alicorn turned back to Sunset. “It appears that time moves at a much slower rate in that world, or vice versa, much faster in Equestria. That explains why the portal was closed when you expected it to be open for another two days. Instead, it was only open for a few hours on that side.”

Fluttershy put a wing around Sunset and gave her a comforting hug. Sunset Shimmer took a few deep breaths to collect herself. “So much time has passed; will it be too late now?”

“What do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked.

“As I said earlier, I left under strained conditions. I had a falling-out with Princess Celestia. I was her personal student until I blew up at her. She wanted me to put aside my studies and make some friends, but I was so impatient to earn my wings that I left the moment I thought she wasn’t teaching me at the speed I wanted.”

Everypony’s eyes focused on Twilight, who fidgeted under our scrutiny.

Sunset continued, “I didn’t really have any friends here when I departed. I didn’t see any need for them at the time, really. I went through the portal seeking knowledge and power. Since then, I learned how wrong I was and I want to try to repair my relationship with Celestia. I came back expecting to arrive in Canterlot and hoping to contact her before returning to Canterlot High.”

The girls looked around uncomfortably. Twilight spoke up. “I’m afraid both Celestia and her sister left through a dimensional portal almost a year ago and haven’t returned.”

Sunset gaped. “Sister? You mean Luna?”

I was shocked. “How did you know that? Did they go to your world?”

The unicorn shook her head, then stopped. “Yes and no. The Principal of the school is Celestia and her sister Luna is the Vice-Principal.”

“Another parallel,” said Rarity.

“But they had been running the school for years before I got there. So they aren’t the ones from Equestria.”

Disappointing but not a cause for eliminating that world as my own. “You say you want to go back?” I asked.

“Yes. I have friends there and I want to finish the school year and graduate.”

“You have a small window of opportunity then.” I smirked. “Well… if you came this far just to see Celestia, I think it wouldn’t hurt for me to try to summon her… you know… one more time.”

All the mares’ ears pointed at me and a few badly suppressed grins were seen. Applejack said drily, “Really, Mark? Ya sure ya wanna try doin’ that?”

I grinned, showing lots of teeth. “Sure. Why not? Sunset might not be able to come back for years and this would be a great chance for them to work through their friendship problem. What do you think, Princess of Friendship?”

I could tell that Twilight was torn between agreeing and telling me not to do something silly. Eventually, she nodded and said, “This might be a good friendship lesson.”

I excused myself and headed into the hallway then back to my room. I grabbed a long cloak to cover my flanks and switched to my Marklestia form. I looked in the mirror then switched again when I realized I had not chosen the long-maned and tailed version. I couldn’t do anything about the lack of a crown or other royal regalia. I’d have to hope Sunset didn’t pay that close of attention.

I clopped deliberately back to the room where everypony was waiting. I put on my most displeased face and walked in like I owned the place. Twilight took the hint, bowing down deeply. The other mares did the same, but all had an open eye pointed at Sunset, who had started hyperventilating. As she was before I left, Sunset was lying on her side but started to move to get off the couch and take a genuflecting position. I raised a hoof and she stopped.

I frowned. “Sunset Shimmer, my former student. Doubtless returning to demand that which you have not earned.”

She was defiant, even if her pupils had reduced to pinpricks and she had to speak through chattering teeth. “I’ve learned what you tried to teach me, Celestia. I just want—”

“Silence!” Not the Royal Canterlot Voice, but close enough for this enclosed space. “Do you truly think I can take you at your word? How can I believe you after what you said to me before you left so long ago?”

“I made friends, Celestia! Five of the dearest and most wonderful friends in any world! I understand now what you wanted me to learn. I came back not seeking power but your forgiveness.”

“My forgiveness is not given without a price. You have a choice. You may accept the penance I decree, or you will be forever banished from Equestria.” I moved closer to her face, narrowing my eyes. “There is only one punishment suitable, and it is one I have reserved especially for you.”

The unicorn was shaking uncontrollably now. Her eyes darted to her horn unconsciously. I raised my head to loom over her. She cast her eyes back down and said meekly, “I accept your punishment.”

“Very well. I hereby sentence you to… five…” I paused dramatically as the flame-haired mare cowered beneath me. “…zerberts.”

She stopped shaking and furrowed her brow. “Zerberts?”

I nodded.

“Uh… I’m afraid to ask, but... what’s a zerbert?”

I beamed. “I’m so glad you asked!” I took a long, theatrical intake of breath then bent my neck to place my lips on her unprotected belly. Then I blew the loudest, longest raspberry I could muster.

“Bwa! Ha, ha! Sto— ha, ha, ha, ha!” She struggled and bucked but couldn’t get away. All the strength left her body and she writhed on the couch.

Just when she started to recover, I said in my most serious tone. “One.”

Her head shot up. “What?! No, no! Don’t ha, ha, ha, ha! Plea— ha, ha, ha!”

When I finished the second, I heard Pinkie behind me say, “I never knew Justice could be so merciless.”

I looked up a Sunset’s face. “Are you sorry?”

She couldn’t speak but nodded her head frantically.

“Really, really sorry?”

“Yes!” she gasped out. “Yes! I’m really, really sorry!”

“I don’t believe you.” I lowered my head again.

“No, no, no! Wait, I can— bwa, ha, ha, ha!” She fell off of the sofa in her attempts to get away.

Once her punishment was finished, I gestured to Twilight who unlocked and removed the nullstone ring from her horn and took off the shackles from her forehooves. Sunset was too busy lying limp and giggling to move in any way.

Rainbow Dash floated next to me. “Yeah… I don’t know if she’s quite sorry enough.”

I winked at Twilight and turned to the blue pegasus. “You know, I think I have one more zerbert in me.”

The Element of Loyalty’s smile grew. “Well, go ahead then!” When I wouldn’t look away, her expression fell. “No way, you’re not—”

This time Twilight’s magic grabbed Rainbow’s hooves long enough for me to plant my lips on the flying mare’s tummy. When I was done, there were two twitching but smiling mares on the ground.

Applejack guffawed. “Well, then. Anytime Ah want to ground Rainbow, Ah know what to do.”

I grinned and looked back to our visitor. “Are you feeling better now, Sunset Shimmer?”

She gave me a small smile. “Yes, I do. Thank you, Princess Celestia. Thank you for believing in me.”

“I’m sure that’s exactly what you deserved, but as there was no other way to bring about closure, I’m afraid I had to deceive you a little, my dear.”

Sunset frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Celestia and Luna never returned after they went through the portal because it was smashed. I only acted as Celestia’s proxy.” I willed the change, and once more I was a pegasus stallion.

Sunset gaped at me. “What the fu—?”

I held up a hoof to stop her. “I’m sure that Twilight will agree with me that you’re among friends now, and I hope you will forgive my little playacting, but I knew you needed to make your peace with Celestia, and this was the only way you could do it.”

Sunset stared at me for a long time before asking, “How did you do that?”

“Very long story. Short version – poison joke plus tons of magic equals permanent alter ego.”

The unicorn blinked. “Okay. Can’t wait to hear the long version. Meanwhile, I have other questions.” She turned to face Twilight. “You said you were the co-ruler of Equestria now?”

“Yes. I took the role after I ascended.”

“You have to tell me how you managed that later. Who is the other Princess?”

“My co-regent is Princess Trixie Lulamoon.”

Sunset gaped. “The showmare!? She became an alicorn?!”

Twilight’s smile was wooden and she hesitated more than a bit too long. “Yes. Yes, she did.”

I fought hard to suppress an eye roll. I mentally added ‘Learn to Prevaricate Convincingly’ to the list of skills Twilight still needed to learn from Trixie. I had to follow up before Sunset noticed.

“You know Trixie?”

“Well, yeah, or at least her human equivalent. Both her and her oversized ego.”

All the mares laughed, although Fluttershy stopped with a hoof over her mouth and a blush.

“Principal Celestia and her sister were the judges for the school talent show held at the outdoor amphitheater. Trixie was the last act and every magic trick she tried to perform fell apart at the last second. A dove escaped its cage while Trixie was talking to the audience. As soon as her back was turned, a rabbit jumped out of her top hat and ran offstage. Card decks fell out of pockets and sleeves while she was ranting on and on about how amazed we would be. Celestia and Luna were laughing along with the rest of the audience.”

Everypony chuckled. Applejack said, “That sounds about right.”

“And she kept up her role as a condescending blowhard the entire time! She looked truly puzzled each time a trick failed or her equipment went missing. After a few minutes, she had everyone in the theater chanting along with her, ‘This went better during rehearsal’.”

That got a laugh out of everypony. This tale was certainly lining up well with the stories from Trixie’s early performances around Equestria from what I had heard from Ponyville citizens.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “And her assistant! How she talked Button Mash into helping her, I have no idea. But he truly looked terrified for his life up there on stage! I still don’t know if he was in on the act or not. He would miss his cues, forget when to duck, and make a terrible racket from behind the back curtain when he was supposed to have vanished into thin air. By this point, the Principal and Vice-Principal were holding onto each other to keep from falling out of their seats.”

“Trixie’s big finale ended with Button’s coat catching on fire and Trixie chasing after him, yelling at him to stop ruining her show. As he sprinted around, he seemed to inadvertently set fire to every prop Trixie had on stage before the janitor put him out with a fire extinguisher.”

The mares were all laughing loudly now.

“That universe’s Trixie is either the most brilliant actress or the least competent, egotistical fraud I’ve ever seen. Regardless, it was as entertaining as Tartarus. Celestia praised it as the finest display of ‘Performance Art’ she had ever seen. Even then, Trixie wouldn’t break character. ‘See? Even the Wise Principal Celestia recognizes the art of my performance as the best she has ever witnessed!’ As if she truly had no idea what ‘Performance Art’ was!”

When I could be heard over the laughter, I said, “I think there’s a decent chance you might recognize her when you see her.”

Sunset smirked. “I’m not so sure about that. I can’t imagine my Trixie ever becoming a Princess.”

“You have a point there.”

Sunset asked, “What other incredible things have happened since I left fifteen years ago? Still can’t believe it’s been that long.”

Twilight replied, “Princess Luna returned from her banishment, obviously. The Elements of Harmony were rediscovered and my friends and I became their bearers. Discord, the Lord of Chaos broke free of his stone prison, was defeated, and reformed. Queen Chrysalis and her changeling horde invaded Canterlot and were repelled. The Crystal Empire returned and Princess Cadance and my brother now rule that land. And recently, Tirek invaded Equestria and stole the magic from most of its citizens.”

Sunset blinked in shock. “All that in less than two decades? Equestria has been at peace for ages, but suddenly everything went crazy? And the Elements of Harmony aren’t just a myth?”

“Not only aren’t they a myth, but they are what saved Equestria a few times. In fact, that was what Celestia was trying to teach you. Only through the power of friendship were we able to harness their potential. You were Celestia’s chosen pupil to learn and discover their power to save her sister. Instead, it devolved upon me.”

Sunset sighed and shook her head. “I really screwed things up badly, didn’t I?”

I put a wing about Sunset and hugged her. “Come on, we’ve just gone through this. It’s time to put the past behind you and look to the future. Now that you’ve had some catharsis, what do you really want to do?”

She gave me a smile. “Like I said, I want to finish school and graduate. I also want to spend those months with my friends while deciding what I want to do with my life.”

“So, you don’t want to move back to Equestria?”

“If the portal is closed for fifteen years, I wouldn’t be able to see my friends. I don’t think I could bear that now.”

“You don’t have to,” Twilight said.

The yellow unicorn lifted a curious eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been studying portals intensely lately for reasons that I’ll explain later. It’s true that they all have their default cycles probably because they are tied to natural phenomena, but I discovered that with the right spell, they can be opened at any time. In fact, as part of my research, I have already enchanted a medallion to act as a key.”

I opened my mouth to ask something, but Twilight beat me.

“I only recently completed making it, Mark. I was going to field test it soon.”

“Why did you need a key? You certainly couldn’t have expected me,” Sunset said.

“It’s for me,” I said. “Can I trust you with a secret?”

Sunset nodded.

“I’m actually a human who came to Equestria through one of those portals, but it got smashed and I’ve been stuck here ever since. You just want to see your friends again, but I want to go home.”

“And you think my world might be yours?” Sunset asked.

“It’s my best lead so far, so I have to check it out.”

Sunset looked thoughtful. “I’m sure my friends would love to help you if you go there, and so would I. But are you sure you won’t get stuck there as I did?”

I looked at Twilight. “Are you certain about that key?”

She nodded vigorously. “I’ve tested it thoroughly and it opens the portals every time from this side. Theoretically, the same should be true for the other side too. And even if not, I could open it again for you from this side.”

“Good enough for me. Let’s do this!”

“Aren’t you being a bit hasty, darling?” Rarity said. “You can’t just charge through the portal without preparing.”

“I’m just going to take a quick look. If it’s my world, it won’t take me long to confirm that with Sunset’s help.”

“So you’re just going to walk through that portal right now, naked?” She arched an eyebrow questioningly.

I opened my mouth to reply but failed to say anything as her words hit home. I had gotten so used to pony nudity that I hadn’t even given a moment’s thought to that little problem.

Sunset giggled. “I think you had better get something suitable to wear before going through the portal. Oh, and it has to be large because ponies are relatively small compared to humans.”

Nothing I owned fitted that description. Why would it? Maybe a bathrobe? Perhaps not – that would probably still leave my nether regions rather drafty. “Any suggestions, Rarity?” I asked. Maybe she could put something together for me.

“Oh, but you already own the perfect apparel, Mark, dear.” She smiled enigmatically.

What was that mare getting at? The only clothing that I owned were a few shirts, two cloaks, a couple of vests, and a formal jacket, none of which were suitable. The only other things in my wardrobe were… Oh, no! My eyes widened and I stared at the fashionista who started nodding and smiling broadly.

I felt really silly wearing one of Rarity’s high-fashion outfits meant for Marklestia. It fit my small frame very badly and some temporary ties held the cuffs up so that I wouldn’t trip on the material. To make things worse, Twilight brought out her camera and started taking photographs. If Trixie or Steady ever saw those….

Sunset had left her human clothing by the mirror before heading out of the room, and she had donned them again in preparation for going back through. Despite the purple shirt and khaki shorts also being too large and silly on a pony, she still looked a hundred times less ridiculous than me. Well, okay – maybe the purple and black cowboy boots on the hind legs of a pony were close. I grabbed the camera from the snap-happy alicorn and took a couple of shots of Sunset before stuffing it into the folds of my dress.

“I’ll take some pics on the other side. Now – can we get on with this, please?” I begged.

“That depends on Sunset Shimmer,” Twilight replied.

Sunset held up the medallion that Twilight had given her. “As long as this thing works, I’ll be able to come and go whenever I need to, so I can come back and visit at any time. So, might as well do this now before Mark Wells pops a gasket.”

“Okay. I have just one other thing to give you before you go through.” Twilight’s magic levitated a stopwatch on a lanyard over my head and settled it around my neck. “I want you to do a short countdown and hit the button on the stopwatch at zero and jump through the portal. I have another stopwatch which I’ll start at the same time. When you come back, I want you to stop the timer immediately and I will stop mine as well. That way we can determine a fairly exact ratio of the rate at which time flows over there. Sunset, please remind Mark in case he forgets.”

“I’ll do that, Twilight. Ready to go, Mark?”

I sighed. If I didn’t want so badly to find out if that was my world on the other side of the mirror that I’d wear this dress… “Ready as I’ll ever be,” I replied.

Twilight moved over to the mirror that was Sunset’s portal. It had a mauve elongated horseshoe-shaped frame embedded with pink crystals, plus some fancy filigree ironwork surrounding it. It was all mounted on a much sturdier foundation than my mirror had been. Twilight stepped up onto the base and lifted a foreleg to poke at the mirror. Her hoof passed through it as if it was water, the surface of the mirror rippling like such.

“The portal is still open and probably will be for a couple more days if Sunset’s information is correct. Just a reminder that you only have a few hours at most on the other side. We can’t be sure how long it has been open, although evidence suggests that it’s tied to the full moon and this is the first night of three. If we’re wrong and it does close, use your amulet. If the portal still fails to re-open, I will activate it from this side. Now, prepare to go through. Sunset – you first.”

The yellow unicorn nodded, stepped up to the mirror and hopped though. No fanfare; no technicolor display; just a ripple of the surface and she was gone.

“Excellent! Now you, Mark. On the count of zero, jump through.”

I held up the stopwatch and nodded.

The alicorn began her countdown. “Three. Two. One. Zero!”

I pushed the button to start the timer and leaped.

I had not thought to ask Sunset what the transition would be like. Perhaps I would pop out the other end at the same time as I entered Equestria’s end? No, that didn’t happen. Instead, I was subjected to a swirling tunnel that I could not focus on. I felt forces tugging at me from random directions and a sense of vertigo rapidly built up. Then suddenly, I was stumbling on concrete on all fours.

My excessively long sleeves did nothing to reduce the discomfort of scraped hands from my fall, but I realized that if I had hands again, I also had legs. For the first time since arriving in Equestria so long ago, I got to my feet and stood proudly upright. I gazed about me and saw it was nighttime and several humans were gaping at me. I knew immediately who they had to be because their hairstyles and colors matched my pony friends. Colors. Pinkie Pie was pink. Rainbow Dash was blue. Applejack was orange. I pulled back a sleeve to look at my hand. Green. Sunset hadn’t mentioned skin colors because why would she? It was perfectly normal for her. These people may have been human by many measures, but they weren’t my humans. Despite the familiar street, buildings, parked cars, and school building, this wasn’t my Earth.

“SHIT!”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

There are such huge logical inconsistencies and really stupid scenes in Equestria Girls that there was no way that this story was going to follow that script. So you get something a bit more fun instead.

Art by Foxenawolf.
Help me afford more art by buying me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 26 - Surprises

“Who’s yer foul-mouthed friend, Sunset?” growled the orange cowgirl. She glared at me under her Stetson.

I face-palmed. Instant bad first impression with Applejack. Some things never change.

“And why is that boy wearing that weird dress?” Rainbow Dash asked, her expression torn between puzzlement and amusement.

Rarity gave the blue-skinned girl a disappointed look. “I disagree in the strongest terms, darling. The fashion sense that went into that dress is on par with my own.” She looked at the dress critically then came up and started pulling at it to look at the seam work. I was used to Equestria’s Rarity doing this but a bit taken aback by this world’s version automatically treating me like a fashion model. “In fact… if I didn’t know better, I would say I designed and made this.”

I was about to protest when she pulled the bottom of the skirt up to chest level, exposing a large swath of my leg… and maybe more. I yelped and fought to keep my private parts private. Rarity pointed at a seam. “Do you see this covering chain stitch? I don’t know any other designer who uses it on fabric to fabric seams on the lower half of their skirts.” Sunset wasn’t much help as she was trying to keep from falling over with laughter.

I attempted to turn into Marklestia… well, either world’s Celestia, I suppose. Nothing. It was worth a shot.

Pinkie Pie was tilting her head and was probably looking at more than just the stitching. Fluttershy was blushing madly with only one eye peeking out from behind her hair. Even Applejack’s face was a bit redder. “Rares, maybe ya don’t wanna be showing off that boy’s derriere in public.”

The fashionista looked back and just then seemed to be aware that I existed. She dropped the hem and retreated a bit at seeing my frown.

“A bit forward no matter the dimension, aren’t you?” I groused.

“Yes she is!” declared Rainbow Dash with a huge grin.

Rarity blinked rapidly as she backed up a few steps. “Oh! I’m terribly sorry, sir! I saw fashion and just…”

I waved a hand dismissively and then stopped, looking at it with a smile and wiggling my fingers experimentally. Just like riding a bicycle, it seemed you never forgot how. I looked at Rarity again. “This dress was indeed made by your counterpart in Equestria.” I looked up to the oddly familiar sight of the five friends. “I bet the special talents for all of you are the same there.”

While the other girls gasped at the news, Pinkie Pie’s left leg trembled and she pointed at me. “You came from another dimension, too! One where you had hands and walked upright!” Oh yeah, I forgot. Pinkie was Sunset’s physical therapist in this world. Trust her to notice my coordination right away.

I smiled. “That’s right. My name is Mark Wells. I’m sorry for cursing earlier, but I had my hopes up that this was my home dimension.”

Rarity said, “And the dress?”

I grimaced. “The only thing big enough to cover my larger form here. My Rarity was kind enough to loan it to me.”

Rainbow snorted. “More like she wanted to be the first fashionista able to claim she had an inter-dimensional fashion show.” For some reason that made the Rarity in front of me blush profusely.

I smirked. “Now you wish that you had thought of that, don’t you?”

Rarity stammered, trying to formulate a reply. The other girls got a light-hearted laugh in at her expense. Applejack came up and hugged Rarity from the side. “We’re just teasin’ ya, sugarcube. We don’t mean nothing by it.” Yep. Definitely like the same group of friends in Equestria.

I took a closer look at my arm. The same exact light green color of my equine form. Now I wanted to try coming across in my Marklestia form to see how that would turn out. I chuckled to myself. Apparently being around Twilight increased my tolerance to experiments. “At the risk of sounding vain, may I borrow a mirror?”

The fashionista had one out of her purse so fast that it made me wonder if it was in her hand already. Even Trixie would have been impressed at the apparent sleight-of-hand.

I took the offered clamshell case, popped it open and studied my face… or should I say my face when I was in high school. “Huh,” I said aloud. I then snapped the compact closed and gave it back. “Thanks, Rarity. Your fashions took a good ten years off of my body.”

Fluttershy said, “Umm… what do you mean? If you don’t mind telling us, that is.”

“In my home dimension, I’m twenty-six years old. But passing through the mirror to this land reset me to about sixteen, I think.” I nodded towards Sunset. “The same happened to her.”

All eyes swiveled to their returned friend, who shrunk a bit. If these humans had swiveling ears, I’m sure all would have been pointed directly at her.

“Is that true?” asked Rainbow Dash. “How old are you, really?”

Sunset fidgeted with her shirt. “Well, it’s not polite for a ma… lady to say her age in front of a man.”

“Pfffffft!” Pinkie Pie waved both hands dismissively. “That only counts when you’ve got the hots for him!”

If anything, the stares got more intense and every other girl there leaned forward a bit with the same amused smile on their faces.

Sunset backed up a step. “No, no! It’s nothing like that! I just…”

Since she was laughing at my expense earlier and she ran out of words, I’d supply them for her. “Sunset Shimmer, dear. Why won’t you tell them how much you love me? How I sacrificed not one but two lives to be with you here?”

Her open-mouthed shock was priceless and I couldn’t keep a straight face, doubling over with laughter. The rest of the girls caught on and joined in.

When I got my breath back, I saw Sunset standing with her legs apart, her arms crossed, and a scowl on her face. “Alright, mister. That’s two that I owe you now.”

“Two?” chorused her friends.

Rarity said, “Now you have to tell us all about the first one.” Sunset’s eyes went wide and she face-palmed to more chuckles.

Rainbow waved an arm at me. “Actually, this dude is perfect for you, Sunset. Finally a guy with some backbone who isn’t intimidated by how mean you are!” That got a groan from the yellow-skinned girl.

Fluttershy came up to hug her friend. “We’re just glad you’re back, Sunset.” After a bit, Sunset returned it. This was quickly followed by the rest of her friends joining in.

When the hugs were done with, trust Rainbow Dash to ruin the mood. “You’re not getting out of answering the question, Sunset! How old are you?”

The flame-haired girl glared at me for some reason then looked at Rainbow. “I left Equestria when I was 28 years old.”

All the girls gasped, but I saw Applejack wink at me. They were just being theatrical. I smirked. “And if you went back to Equestria right now, how old would you be?”

Now she was really frowning. “That doesn’t count! Time passes… like… ten days in Equestria for every day here!”

“She’s actually forty-three,” I supplied helpfully. This time the gasps were punctuated with laughter. Sunset shook a fist at me along with her glare.

Before she could move towards me, Applejack held her by the shoulder. “Sunset. If time moves that much faster there, the longer ya stay here, the more ya will lose touch with folks ya know there.”

Everyone fell silent. Sunset deflated. “Yes… I know. But… I’m going to finish out the school year here with my friends before I decide what to do.” That got her another round of hugs.

I fidgeted a bit. “Ummm… I’m sorry to interrupt…” The girls all looked my way. “…but now that I know this isn’t my dimension, I need to get back. I’d like to ask if I can return at some point though, please.”

The friends all shared a look. Rainbow grinned. “As long as you promise to keep giving Sunset grief every time you show up, then sure!”

I smiled. “If I could ask a favor from you, Rarity. Would you mind taking my measurements so I can tell your counterpart in Equestria how to make clothes for me?”

Rarity strode up, brandishing a cloth tape measure. “Nothing easier, darling.” In surprisingly little time, she had taken about a dozen measurements on me, moving my arms as needed.

“Inseam!” she demanded. It took a stern look and a couple of seconds before I figured out what she meant. After I held the end of the measuring tape where Rarity indicated, she took the last measurement. The fashionista stood up with a beaming smile. “And done! I hope you don’t disapprove, Mark, but I think I might be able to make something for you with your coloration in mind.”

I opened my mouth to protest but then turned to her friends. “There’s no point in my arguing is there?” They laughed and shook their heads. I looked back at this world’s personification of generosity. “That would be wonderful, Rarity, but please keep in mind that my closet is already full of dresses.”

She chuckled. “Yes, you are a bit more mature than the average boy that we meet at school, aren’t you?” Rarity cocked an eyebrow and stared at Sunset who shook her head.

“Not happening, Rarity! Don’t even try to set us up.”

“I’m finally realizing what you have been looking for all along, darling.”

Rainbow was having a field day. “Yeah! A guy with a walker and dentures!” More laughs from all around.

Pinkie was bouncing up and down. “Can all of your friends come visit? Can we have the first ever Pinkie-to-Pinkie Party Extravaganza?”

“Maybe,” I said. “I’ll run it past the gir— mares but I think they’d love to.” I stopped. “But they would all need one outfit.”

Rarity opened her mouth but Applejack beat her to it. “Before we put Rares any more out of her sleep schedule, how’s about each of us toss in an outfit and send it to our counterparts?”

That did sound good. “Thank you, ladies.” I emphasized the last word with a bow.

This was met by smirks and a round of “oooOOOOOOooo’s” from the girls. I rolled my eyes. “But if you would also put in an outfit for Twilight Sparkle, that would be great.”

Pinkie Pie tapped her chin. “Why does that name sound familiar… other than the fact that her birthday is in three days, of course.”

Fluttershy said, “It is?”

Pinkie Pie smiled. “Yep! I hacked into the databases for all the schools in the area and downloaded the pertinent student data. I didn’t keep the school name field, though. Didn’t see the point.” This was met by a chorus of stares. The pink girl raised her arms up. “What? It was for a good cause!”

Rarity asked me, “What does she look like?”

“Well, in your world, she’d be your age, and have lavender skin, I suppose.”

Sunset said, “Dark blue hair with a purple and mulberry streak.”

Rarity looked at me sideways. “Glasses?”

I shrugged. “Possibly. She’s super smart. May not have many friends though.”

Fluttershy said, “Umm… do you all remember that girl from Crystal Prep Academy? The one that beat our entire school at the Quiz Bowl while her teammates slept?”

Applejack groused, “And the 4-H Photography, Horticulture, and Mechanics blue ribbons.”

Rarity said, “And the Science Olympiad.”

“You might want to get to know her. The six of you are the best of friends in Equestria.”

Pinkie waved her hand like she wanted to be picked in class. “I know! Let’s show up at her house on her birthday!”

Fluttershy’s whole body shook. “You mean… uninvited?”

Pinkie grinned. “I’ll bring a cake!”

“You have her address?” Sunset asked.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well, duh! I only said I deleted the school names. How else would I know where to send birthday cards?”

Rarity handed me a sheet of paper torn from a small notepad. “Here are your human measurements for my counterpart. I’ll include the measurements of all of us when I send your care package, darling.”

“Thanks, Rarity.” I turned towards the statue with the intention of returning to Equestria when I suddenly remembered something. “Oops! Almost forgot.” I pulled a camera from within the folds of my dress. “I’m supposed to take a few pictures while I’m here.”

Sunset Shimmer winced. “Sorry, Mark – I should have reminded you.”

“No problem, Sunset. I can’t get really good shots of the neighborhood at night, but I should get a few of you and the girls at least.”

The six of them posed as a group and individually. I didn’t try anything fancy as time was against me, although Rarity unsurprisingly was a bit fussier about her portrait. Those completed, I reached behind me and tried tapping the portal. It was solid stone again. “Sunset, if you wouldn’t mind? It seems it’s time to try out that medallion.”

I stepped out of the mirror on the Equestrian side of the portal and promptly fell on my face. What hurt more than my poor abused muzzle was the humiliation of forgetting that I would be returning to quadrupedal form upon my exit. At least, it seemed that only Spike was there to witness it. Belatedly, I clicked the button on my stopwatch before getting to my hooves again.

“Welcome back, Mark,” the dragon said cheerfully as he put down the other stopwatch.

“Where’s everypony?” I asked.

“Twilight’s in the bathroom and asked me to keep watch. The others are still asleep. Because they had no idea when you would return, Applejack apparently convinced the rest of the girls that they needed a full night’s rest.”

“Ever the practical mare,” I agreed. “So, did Twilight wake you up to keep watch in her place?”

“Nah. It’s morning and I had just gotten up to start breakfast for everypony. I found a note telling me that Twilight was here, watching and waiting for you. She was in urgent need to go to the little filly’s room, and that was just a few minutes ago. I’m glad I was here to see you come through that mirror though; that was amazing! Almost as amazing as how silly you look in that dress.”

“Laugh it up, lizard-breath – it’s not half as ridiculous as I looked on the other side of that portal.”

The young dragon smirked. “Is that a camera I see?”

Damn. Pinkie had insisted on taking a picture of me too in human form. I groaned. Me and my big mouth!

Twilight was excited that I had returned and annoyed that she had not been there to see it. She quickly got down to business though and checked the stopwatches for their elapsed times. She calculated that within a small margin of error due to the crudity of the measurement technique, clocks progressed 10.13 times faster here in Equestria than in Sunset’s Earth. She queried me about my experience in travelling through the portal and would have given me a thorough debriefing on my visit if I hadn’t stopped her and insisted on telling everypony at the same time. The purple alicorn settled for taking the camera to get the photographs printed.

I gave a jaw-cracking yawn as tiredness caught up to me. After all, I’d been woken in the middle of the night. Of course, so had Twilight, but the Princess of Books regularly burned the midnight oil. I told Spike that I was going to take a nap and to call me when breakfast was ready. I headed to my room and finally got out of my inappropriate garment. I carefully hung it up in the closet – Rarity would not forgive me for abusing it any further. Then I sprawled on the bed and was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

I was amused to find Twilight asleep in her pancakes. I still felt a bit groggy from insufficient sleep, but that sight made it worth it. I’m sure that the one that was speared on her horn didn’t get there by accident though. I suspected Rainbow Dash but everyone had guilty looks, perhaps because no one was doing anything about fixing it. I reminded myself to not nod off at the table with those mares around. The sight of Twilight’s camera perked me up. As I framed the first shot of the sleeping, pancake-decorated alicorn, I knew she was definitely going to regret bringing that to the table.

As I had said to Twilight, I intended to tell everypony about my interdimensional visit all at once, but as the alicorn was asleep, that meant that I got to eat my breakfast and drink my coffee with only a modicum of nagging from the girls. Aside from confirming that they all indeed had counterparts over there, I kept them hanging until Twilight awoke with a snort and a defiant, “I’m pancake! I mean... awake!”

How we all kept a straight face while she carried on oblivious to said breakfast item impaled on her horn, I don’t know, but the longer it was there, the funnier it got. I got an even deeper appreciation of Twilight’s ability to focus to the exclusion of anything extraneous! The purple mare asked me twice if everything was okay as I tried to give my reconnaissance report without bursting into laughter. There is nothing more distracting than a deadly serious Alicorn of Magic gravely listening with a flapjack on her head.

Rarity was thrilled at the news that she was going to get detailed measurements from her doppelganger, secure in the knowledge that they would be exactly what she needed. Plans were made for a visit next weekend, which would be around midday tomorrow in Alt-Earth time. Apparently, it had been Friday night over there, so there ought not to be anyone at the school when we arrived. As long as Sunset sent human Rarity’s package through the portal before then, we should all be attired far more suitably than I had been.

Applejack had to head back to the farm and Fluttershy had her animals to feed. Twilight was already lost to us as her mind worked on the ramifications of what we had learned from Sunset and my interdimensional foray. Pinkie was in a tizzy about planning a ‘Welcome Back to Equestria’ party for Sunset when she returned and the prospect of what she could bring to her counterpart’s welcoming party. That just left Rarity and Rainbow Dash to keep Spike and me company, and I could tell that the fashionista was torn between politely staying and galloping back to her boutique to start working on an outfit for me. So I gave her a way out.

“Rainbow and I want to get in some more flying, Rares. You’re welcome to come watch if you like?”

The white unicorn smiled and shook her head. “Go ahead and have your fun, darling. I hear inspiration calling me anyway. Enjoy yourselves, dears.”

Rainbow’s ears had pricked up when I had mentioned flying, and as soon as Rarity had given us her blessing, the prismatic mare hooked a foreleg around mine and dragged me off at ludicrous speeds through the castle. The Guards at the front door barely glimpsed us as we sped past, and I wasn’t even in my Marklestia form yet!

It had been a great weekend, but all good things come to an end eventually. Crimson and I caught an earlier train than normal, and during the ride back to Canterlot, I was on the receiving end of a severe tongue-lashing from him for not putting enough trust in the guards assigned to me. He had several valid points. For instance, the fact that they had dedicated their lives to protecting me specifically, and that I would not want the general alarm raised if they came in to find their former ruler standing in my suite. When I admitted that Trixie’s personal guard also knew because of where we held Twilight’s magic lessons, he just stared at me until I caved.

I was glad to arrive at the Canterlot Train Station if only to get a distraction from Crimson Boulder’s stern glare. That was just his way of telling me things would not be right between the two of us until I fulfilled my obligation.

Steady and my two day guards greeted us after we disembarked. The guards took our bags and flew them back to the room while we traveled the rest of the way on hoof. Once we entered the castle proper, I noticed Steady and Crimson were being much more jovial than normal. I tuned into their conversation.

Steady said, “But seriously, one of the worst parts of living with a mare? Having to clean out the drains daily. I mean…” He glanced back at me briefly. “…you’d think multi-color pastel hairs would do something magical like turn into cotton candy or something, but I can tell you for sure that’s not the case.”

Crimson laughed uproariously. “Yeah, but have you ever had a situation where you have a mare as a roommate but none of the benefits? That was me in Drill Sergeant School. Having only brothers to grow up with, let me tell you, that was an eye-opener. Mares are gross! Picking the dirt out of their frogs and leaving it wherever, their hair gets everywhere, and the snuffling noises they make at all hours of the day.”

Steady rolled his eyes so hard, I could see it from walking behind the two of them. “Tell me about it! I get to live that every day!”

Now it was Crimson’s turn to give me a quick look. I’m fairly sure my tight frown just made him smile wider. “So tell me, are magical royalty farts any sweeter than regular gas?”

“Nope. If anything, they are worse. Something about a certain mare’s–” He not-so-subtly pointed back to me. “…delicate feminine makeup gives them outgasses that smell like a decaying swamp. And that’s something that carries over for every other part of the day, too!”

I thought the stained glass was in jeopardy of cracking at the braying laugh that Crimson let out.

Steady continued. “And the mess they make! It’s like they manufacture half-filled glasses of water wherever they walk and leave them as a trap! If you take it back to the kitchen, you weren’t supposed to, they were still using it. If you refill it, they wonder why you didn’t clean it up. If you just leave it, you’re lazy.” He shook his head. “I tell you, Crimson, it’s a no-win situation.”

I suppressed a growl and kept repeating to myself, “Patience…patience.” Sometimes I wonder if it had been a mistake to tell my friends to ignore my status and treat me like one of the guys. What does a stallion have to do to get a little respect?! They didn’t see me smirk a bit before I immediately repressed it.

Not being willing to let me delay it any further, Crimson made arrangements for all four ponies to be present in my quarters at the next shift change after we returned.

I looked over the four guardsponies standing at attention in my living room. The thestral stallions Ebon Flight and Nightbloom stood next to the pegasus mare Easy Breeze and unicorn stallion Far Sight.

I smiled. “Guardsponies, at ease.” Their muscles appeared to lose a small amount of their stiffness. I glowered. “Around me, that means sit down and relax.”

With apparent reluctance and a few glances at Crimson Boulder standing next to me, they did so in stages. I punched my assistant in the shoulder. “Cut it out. You’re making them all nervous.” Steady snorted once but then went back to making lemonade for everypony. I had instructed him not to serve anypony until I was done unless he wanted to clean up broken glass.

Crimson sat also, then shook his head. “Actually, sir, you have a bit of a reputation after sacking so much of the brass and the senior non-coms.”

My eyes widened a bit. I hadn’t considered that. Still, I could use it to my advantage. I turned back to the guardsponies. “In that case, please keep in mind that the kind of shit that was being pulled by the stay-the-course-until-Equestria-is-defeated Old Guard will not be tolerated by me. If I ask you for your opinion, I expect it to be your honest one, not some namby-pamby crap that you think I want to hear. Is that perfectly clear?”

“Yes, sir!” the four said in sync. Far Sight started to stand up to give his response in proper attention stance, but thought better of it and sat down again.

I nodded. “Good. Now, gentlestallions and mare, what I am about to reveal to you will not leave this room. I don’t want to hear about you discussing this even amongst yourselves outside of these chambers.”

I received a chorus of “Yes, sirs.”

I stood so that my side was facing them. “Would you all please keep your eyes on my cutie mark? I am going to show you a bit of magic that even the Great and Illustrious Trixie cannot perform.” I waited until their eyes were set, then switched in and out of the long-maned and tailed Celestia form as quickly as I could – perhaps a tenth of a second total. The reactions were as entertaining as I had hoped.

Far Sight gaped and fell over on his side. Ebon Flight narrowed his eyes and tapped his chin thoughtfully with a forehoof. Easy Breeze prostrated herself fully. Nightbloom looked around in confusion. “What? I think I blinked.”

“I’ll do it again,” I offered.

Apparently, he saw it this time. His mouth dropped open. “Celestia’s flaming teats!” Then he slammed a hoof against his mouth.

Crimson burst out laughing. “Well, you wanted honest reactions.”

Easy Breeze returned to a sitting position and said, “Are you… a changeling?”

Far Sight had recovered and shook his head. “Changeling magic looks like green flames that last for a half second or so. There’s a burning sound associated with it also. No, that’s more like near-instantaneous unicorn magic.”

“Yes, I have the ability to turn into…” I shifted forms. “…a copy of your former ruler at will…” Now the short-maned and tailed version “…excepting the cutie mark which remains constant.” I followed this with the pink haired version then back to their familiar long-maned version.

I ignored Steady muttering something like “Show off”.

I continued talking in Celestia’s dulcet tones. “But despite the exterior appearance, I am still Mark Wells.” I was receiving several skeptical looks. I sighed.

I spread my wings, did a half roll and used my flight magic to stand on the ceiling. “In case you are all not already aware, I’m receiving flight lessons from Steady Flight.” I nodded towards him as I walked in a circle around the chandelier. “My flying ability in my stallion form is still not very good. Something like this would be completely beyond me otherwise.” By this point, I had walked a full circle so I pulled in my wings, did a quick half roll then spread them out to halt my fall an inch above the floor. I rose up gently until I settled on my hooves again and furled my wings.

“I believe you are who you say you are, sir,” said Easy Breeze.

I smiled. “And what convinced you?”

“Well, a true mare, especially one of Celestia’s refinement, would have kept her tail down to cover her lady parts, even while upside down.”

There was no mistaking Crimson’s and Steady’s suppressed laughter for anything else now. I glanced over to glare at my valet and noticed myself in a mirror. My cheeks were quite pink.

Ebon Flight looked up at me critically. “This is how you got close to Tirek, isn’t it, sir?”

I added Ebon Flight to a list I was compiling in my head. He would be attending one of the strategy sessions Shining Armor and I would be holding this week. “Very good, Sergeant.” I was also glad for the distraction. “What made you realize that I used this form, Ebon Flight?”

“Well, sir. Other than your straight-line speed, your flight ability is absolute shit, so it has been an ongoing mystery exactly how you were able to get close enough to the centaur to apply the emetic. The tactical report is deliberately vague, but this certainly helps clear things up.”

Both Steady and Crimson were still trying hard to hold their laughter in. I wasn’t very pleased and I’m pretty sure is showed in my voice. I switched back to my stallion form. “Really?”

The thestral nodded. “Yes, sir. But don’t take it personally. This is just the standard Equestrian rating scale for recruits in all areas of their training. It starts at ‘Dog Shit’, then ‘Rat Shit’, ‘Absolute Shit’, ‘Plain Old Fashioned Shit’…” The other guards in front of me all nodded their heads in remembrance. “…and so on until you achieve ‘Barely Acceptable Shit’ and you know you’ve made it. Sir.”

I processed this. “I suppose I’ll have to keep at my lessons until I at least get to ‘Just Smells Like Shit’.” They all made sounds of agreement. Apparently, that was a thing, too. “So please keep this a secret, guardsponies. My ability was the ace-in-the-hole that allowed Equestria to survive the attack from Tirek. Rumors of Celestia’s return are one thing, but I’d like to keep my ability confidential for as long as possible. I’m sure you have a million questions, but I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to say more about my situation. Because all of you are risking your lives for me, it’s only proper that I put some faith in you as well. Plus, if you have to enter my rooms unexpectedly, you need to be able to act without hesitation.” I glanced to the side. “Crimson Boulder was able to cure my Craniorectal vision on this matter.”

Taking this as their cue, all four ponies stood. Ebon Flight spoke up. “You can count on us, sir.”

I smiled. “I know I can.” I looked up to Steady. “How about that lemonade?”

I was feeling the itch to get back at Steady. After all, he had known about my Marklestia form for two weeks and had been teasing me about it without my realizing what he was doing. This simply could not stand. Add that to his yuck-up session with Crimson plus laughing at my misstep in front of my guards and payback was now a necessity.

I waved a wing towards the bathroom. “Steady, would you draw a bath for me? I need to try out some mane-care products I got from the girls.”

“Of course. Your Lad—Lordship.” He bowed and trotted towards the bathroom.

Oh, just you wait, buster.

After he left the room, I locked the bay windows and put the key in my bedroom. Returning to the living room and my saddlebags, I pulled out a couple of bottles, a curry comb, a brush, and a round flask I had gotten from a certain Zebrican shaman. When I heard the squeak of the bath faucet being turned off, I removed the stopper from the flask, shifted to my Marklestia form, and used my wings to waft the fumes from the bottle towards the bathroom. I then set down the flask and waited.

Steady walked back into the living room and froze. “Sir, it’s rea…gurk!” His body went rigid and his eyes opened wide at the sultry look I was giving him, plus his noticing the scent in the air. Zecora was sympathetic to my quest to prank Steady and had provided me with an herbal concoction that mimicked the smell of a mare in heat… without the hormones, of course.

I licked my lips. “Oh, Steady. All those flights together. I should have known.” I slowly started to walk forward swaying my hips comically.

Steady opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and bolted to the bay windows, finding that he couldn’t open them.

I chuckled. “Did you want me to chase you? Is that the standard thing here to get your hot stallion blood boiling? I’m game. Just try to outfly me now.” Yeah, sure I was laying it on a bit thick, but oh well.

He turned around with genuine fear in his eyes. “N-n-now, Mark, you don’t know what you’re doing. Your heat cycle just isn’t synced with the mares in Canterlot is all.” My smile deepened and I lolled my tongue out. He gulped and started to circle around me. “L-l-let me go get a doctor to—”

I cut him off by spreading my wings. “Oh, I’ve got all the help I need right in front of me. What do you say, Steady? Want to play doctor?” Oh, my lord, the cheese! Surely he was catching on?

He held his forehooves in front of himself protectively as he stood up and backpedaled. I jumped to the side to put the door to the bathroom directly behind him. “Mark, Mark! You aren’t thinking straight. Just lie down and relax for a while.”

“OK,” I said sweetly.

He paused. “OK?”

My predatory grin returned tenfold. “As long as you are on top of me.”

He walked backwards into the bathroom, hastened by a coy attempt of mine to nip at him. “Th-that’s not a good idea.”

This was just too easy. “You’re right. Once again.”

He was standing right next to the tub now. He looked up at me hopefully.

“A stallion like you would be much more at home on the bottom.”

As soon as I was completely inside the bathroom, I reared to my full height and spread my wings wide. Steady tried to take a step back but instead toppled into the tub. As he sputtered to the surface, I put a gentle hoof on his mouth and moved my lips next to his ear as he froze.

“Gotcha!”

I roared with laughter as I fell back on my haunches. He looked at me in bewilderment until it finally sank in. “Mark! You don’t joke with a stallion about stuff like that!”

Eventually, I got my guffaws somewhat under control. “Oh, you so had that one coming! That was epic! Even Phil would have loved this one!”

Steady slowly climbed out of the tub, water streaming off of his clothes and feathers. “Fill? Who is Fill?” His head was lowered and he did not look like my friendly valet anymore.

I backed up a step. “Oh! Oh... ah... yeah! That's right! My best buddy Fill! Didn't I tell you that I had suddenly remembered him? Must have slipped my mind.”

By this time, he had backed me up until we both had left the bathroom. Steady glared at me. “Fill? Is that a griffon name?”

“Oh... Oh... I meant... that’s his first name... the first part of his name, you know, his nickname. He's actually called...” Think! Think! “Fill Agreed!”

“Filigreed?” repeated Steady as he stalked me. “I suppose his brother's names are 'Fill Buster' and 'Fill Turd'?”

“Well, actually they are... I mean he's an only child!”

His eyes narrowed. “You certainly seem to remember a lot about ‘Fill’ all of a sudden.”

By this point, he had marched me up against the bay windows. I stammered, “Uh, I can see you'll need some time to dry off and cool down, so I'll just... leave you for a bit.”

I turned around and tried to open the windows, only to remember that I had locked them to prevent Steady from escaping, and the key was in the next room. Drat.

I heard from behind me, “But this is your room. And you can't go anywhere in that form.” I turned around to doubtless say something else brilliant but was met with a leaping pegasus who in no time at all was on top of me with his hooves around my throat and his face in mine.

“Enough of these games! I want the truth, and I want it now! Give it to me! Give it to me!”

I struggled to get my forehooves on his forelegs in an attempt to push him off of me when we both froze at an unexpected sound.

Knock! Knock!

The front door swung open to reveal Trixie, complete with cape and her large crown.

She looked at the two of us, blinked once, then turned around, not bothering to close the door. “Trixie does not want to know.”

I was in my stallion form again. Steady and I had gone through half a bottle of Eyrish Whiskey.

“…and that’s what my life was like before I ended up in this magical horse-land,” I concluded.

Steady had stopped drinking a few minutes ago, just staring at his glass. I had continued on, figuring his body would catch up to his brain eventually. I waited for him to speak for a couple of minutes. At that point, I lost patience.

I put down the glass and made to stand up. “Of course, if you don’t believe me and would rather accept the reality where Celestia has the hots for you…” That earned me a venomous glare, so I sat down with a smirk. “Sorry. Wasn’t sure if you were ever coming back to the conversation.”

He rolled the glass in his hoof then motioned for me to fill it. “That’s a lot to take in, but… well… I believe you. It explains a lot that I had been noticing. Plus why you think so differently from every other pony I know.”

After fulfilling his request, I put the bottle back down. “Steady, I value your friendship as much as I valued Phil’s and I don’t want to lose it over this… minor spat.”

His glance caught me chuckling and he looked back at his glass but with a smile.

“I’m sure you have questions.”

He took a sip. “So what happened when you arrived?”

I thought about the portals I destroyed, possibly stranding the Royal Sisters forever. I thought about waking up in the hospital, making a deal with Trixie, and everything she told me. When I opened my mouth to speak, I felt a gentle breath across my neck and my nose caught the hint of cotton candy. That’s when I also remembered my Pinkie Promise. I shivered, closed my mouth, and reconsidered.

“That’s… not something I’m supposed to talk about, sorry. I mean, you’re already in a pretty select group. The Element Bearers, Spike, Trixie, and… uh… one guard are the only ones who know about my true origins. Even Raven doesn’t know.”

He sighed. “Well, that’s understandable, I guess.” He looked thoughtful for a long moment before putting down his glass. “Mark, as you’re a newcomer to Equestria and its customs, I can’t emphasize this in stronger terms – you simply, absolutely, positively cannot pull a trick like you just did on any male ever.”

I looked up and may have slurred my words a bit. “So – do the same to Crimson?”

“Absolutely. Give me some time to get hold of an invisibility charm first. I gotta see that.”

I considered through an alcohol-imbued haze. “Problem. If I do the same thing to him, he might punch the door open or buck a hole in the wall. If he tried to escape via the balcony, the bay windows wouldn't even slow him down. His forte is strength, after all.”

“Hmmm. Better planning needed.” Steady was quiet for a while before he unsteadily got to his hooves. “I think I’m going to sleep this one off and give myself time to think about it.”

As he started for the door, I said, “No, you’re not.”

He wobbled to a stop and narrowed his eyes at me.

I pointed with a forehoof. “You left some in your glass. Fine whiskey should never be wasted.”

He grinned and turned back to the table. With one hoof on it to keep from falling over, Steady finished his glass. He smacked his lips.

He had a wide smile when he stepped next to me again. “And before I forget, thanks for choosing to trust me… and I’m glad that you think of me on par with your lifelong friend Filigreed.”

He made it four more steps before he collapsed in a heap and started snoring.

I rolled my eyes. “Lightweight.” I put a blanket on him before deciding to skip the now very cold bath and hauling myself off to sleep.

The hardest part of arranging the visit to Alt-Earth was convincing Trixie to let us go away for several days. Even half a day spent in Sunset’s world meant five days back in Equestria. Starting on Saturday morning saved us two working days, but both Twilight and I had to skip Monday through Wednesday’s courts at least. Nevertheless, there was little point in making the interdimensional trip if we didn’t make the most of it. I did find it amusing though that the true alicorn had to plead with the fake one to be allowed to go.

Shining Armor and I finished our challenge classes with the remaining candidates. After giving my input, I trusted Shining's judgment to make the final decisions on interim ranks for the newly assigned staff officers and senior non-coms. Each candidate would have to prove their ability in their new roles to make their positions permanent. All told, about a quarter of the new leaders consisted of the old guard, though Shining promised the final list would not assign anyone their old rank or previous responsibilities. In between classes, Shining tried to teach me a variety of shield spells, since he was the expert. Ultimately, I proved capable of creating a generic shield bubble that stopped both magical and physical attacks. I could vary its size from barely larger than my Marklestia form to about ten body lengths in size. It grew stronger the more magic I poured into it. At my maximum regulated output, Shining called the results "very good." When I asked if this was on the recruit "shit" scale, he laughed and said that it actually was.

Human Rarity had come through in plenty of time for mare Rarity to fashion clothing for all the girls. So while the spares sent through with the care package proved instructional for our fashionista, the mares ultimately did not need to wear them. My Rarity already had my outfit ready before I had left Ponyville the previous weekend. I had left them in my room in Twilight’s castle as there was no point taking them with me. I had examined them with some bemusement. Rarity’s idea of street casual was a lot different from mine, but I supposed that it was better to be overdressed than under, or ridiculously so.

Despite the amount of time that she would be forced to stay away from the farm, even Applejack was curious enough to spend the time on Earth, and she didn’t want to let her friends down. Big Macintosh assured her several times that they could cope without her for a week as it wasn’t the busy season. Fluttershy arranged with a friend to feed her animals, and the rest had arranged time off from their jobs. We were all dressed in our new clothes and waiting for Twilight to arrive.

The alicorn eventually showed up with two books carried in the glow of her magic. She passed one to Spike and smiled at us. “Is everypony ready?”

We all assured her that we were eager to go, and I asked, “What’s the book for?”

“Oh. I figured that communications would be a bit awkward if somepony had to go through the portal every time, so I magically linked these two books. Anything written in one will also appear on the pages of the other, and the receiving book will glow when the sending book is closed upon completion of the message. I’ll leave our book somewhere conspicuous so that it can be checked easily. Anyway, enough of that – let’s go!”

Twilight activated the portal and I led the way. This time I was ready for the change to bipedal status and I straightened up and looked around. It was daylight this time, and all the girls were gathered around the statue. I realized that they were deliberately obscuring the portal exit in case of curious eyes – smart thinking on their part.

“Hi girls! What do you think?” I spread my arms and did a partial spin to show off my outfit.

“Much better than the dress!” Rainbow said with a chuckle.

“Exactly what I would have designed,” Rarity said as she came over to examine the fit.

“I’m glad that you approve. Anyhow, you’d better stand back and give some room for the rest of my friends. They expected me to clear the way for them. Better stand by to help them though. None of them have had experience being bipedal.”

About ten seconds later, Twilight stepped through. Damned if she didn’t look cute as a human. Not unexpectedly, she was disoriented and she lifted up a hand and gawked at it in amazement.

Sunset helped Twilight to her feet. “Don’t worry – you’ll get used to that eventually. Better not block the exit now though.”

Moments later, Rainbow Dash stepped through, just as colorful as ever. She looked at herself and laughed. “This is so crazy!” When her counterpart helped her to stand up, they both stared at each other before my Rainbow said, “Yeah, you’re nearly as awesome as me.”

Her mirror self replied, “Whaddaya mean? You can only dream of being as amazing as me!”

We all laughed – that was so Dash regardless of which world she belonged to.

Pinkie Pie came through next. To my astonishment, she was up on her feet like she’d had them since birth. She and her counterpart exchanged enthusiastic hugs and moved off to chatter excitedly with each other.

Rarity came next. I helped her up and the first thing that she did was check out how her clothes fit on her new body. Human Rarity came over to greet her counterpart and, of course, start discussing the design and fit.

Fluttershy fell through the portal with an “Eep!” Fortunately, a blanket spread on the pavement saved her from scraped knees, her skirt being too short to protect them. Sunset had probably foreseen the need.

“Oh, you poor dear! Let me help you,” human Fluttershy said.

Between her and me, we lifted the yellow girl up, then the two of them shyly looked at each other with half their faces hidden by their long hair. They blushed and giggled. I figured that would be about as much conversation as they would have for the moment and ushered them out of the way just in time to allow Applejack to come barreling through.

She hauled herself to her feet showing better preparedness for her change of status than anyone bar me and Pinkie. She looked about and grinned. “Boy and howdy! Ain’t this a treat?! You shor do look mighty like mah friends. Matter of fact, if’n it weren’t fer the clothes, Ah’d have a tough time pickin’ you apart!”

Sunset grinned and said, “Well, now that you’re all here, welcome to Earth. I hope you enjoy visiting my home of the past eighteen months… or fifteen years, if you will.”

“I can’t wait to look around,” Twilight replied.

Sunset continued, “Due to the time differential, we know that you’re on a tight schedule, so we’ve taken the liberty of planning an itinerary for you. However, we have one more person to pick up before we proceed. Fortunately, the local bus will be here in about eight minutes and you will get to see some of our city along the way.”

Sunset picked up the blanket, folded it, and put it in her backpack, confirming my guess that she had provided it. We were then ushered over to the bus stop. I hung back to keep a watch on my friends in case they needed help. I had no trouble adapting to this version of Earth, but I knew it would be as confusing to them as Equestria had been to me upon my arrival there.

The bus trip revealed little different from my Earth with the exception that it seemed a bit brighter and cleaner than what I was familiar with. My friends found it all fascinating though. The bus itself was an object of immense curiosity. Twilight found the concept of internal combustion engines quite interesting, but the others soon found many more things to grab their attention, both inside the bus and out the windows as we passed through the suburban areas of the city.

When we alighted from the bus, Pinkie led the way down a street to a nondescript house.

“Are you sure this is where she lives?” human Rarity asked.

“Yepperoonie!” the pink one replied, skipping down the path to the front door. She pushed the doorbell long before the rest of us got there.

The young man who answered had white skin and two-tone blue hair. I realized that this had to be Shining Armor and almost burst out laughing at how much like a surfer dude he looked. His voice matched his appearance too as he asked, “What is this? A twins convention?” Then he spotted Twilight and gaped. “Sis? What are you…? But you were just…”

“Who’s at the door, Shiny?” came a familiar voice from within the house.

Without taking his eyes off the girl in front of him, he replied, “You’d better come see this, Twily.”

A lavender-skinned girl with dark-blue hair with purple and pink stripes came to the door. With the exception of the spectacles she was wearing, she was Twilight’s twin. She too stared at the people gathered at the door before my Twilight stepped forward.

“Are you familiar with the multiverse theory and the concept of parallel worlds?” she asked her twin who nodded. “Great! Because that’s where I and my friends just came from. Our world is called Equus and we come from a nation named Equestria where we are actually ponies. But in passing through the portal to this world, we get transformed into humans. I’m your counterpart from another world, and so are the other five twins that you see.”

“Are you believing any of this, Twily?” Shining asked dubiously.

“Yes, actually. It’s easier to believe than six identical twins just turning up all of a sudden, including one of me. In fact, I think I recognize some of them. Canterlot High, right?”

“That’s right,” human Applejack replied.

“But why me?” Twilight asked. “What have five students from Canterlot High got in common with me?”

Equestria Twilight replied, “Because the six of us are the very best of friends in Equestria, and these girls seem to think that they and you could be the same here.”

Shining said, “Dean Cadance has been trying to get you to make some friends, Twily. I guess if everything they’ve said is true, these girls are a great way to start.”

Human Twilight still looked uncertain, but mine said, “Come with me and I’ll tell you about my world, and you can tell me about yours. We can then write up papers on them afterward.”

Her counterpart brightened, her interest piqued. “That sounds like a great idea. Sorry, BBBFF, but do you mind if I cancel our plans for today?”

The young man chuckled. “Just go, Twily. Opportunities like these don’t come around every day.”

“Let me go grab a few things!” She dashed off into the house, no doubt to fetch several notebooks, pens, and her phone. Just like my Twilight! Except for the phone, of course, but maybe not for much longer.

As Sunset had said, they had an itinerary planned for us. That consisted of a guided tour of the city that concentrated on places and sights that were significantly different from those in Equestria. I was struck by how similar to my world it was, and yet with a surreal edge to everything. Nevertheless, I was far more at home than the Equestrians. Lunch was at a vegetarian Thai restaurant, which I thought was very considerate of our hosts. The only downside was human Rainbow Dash and Equestrian Rainbow Dash challenging each other to eat “Thai hot” jungle curry. They were both much more subdued for the rest of the journey as they nursed their aching tongues and stomachs. Neither had been able to outdo the other, which at least meant they could commiserate in their suffering. I had no illusions that this lesson would be the end of their future attempts to outdo each other.

Perhaps it was a good thing that we only had half a day before we had to go back. I think even Twilight was a bit overwhelmed by the time we returned to Canterlot High.

Twilight gave Sunset the book that she had prepared and instructed her on its use. Then Pinkie stepped up to Sunset.

“I’ll have a party ready for you and all your friends when you visit Equestria next time.”

“Thanks, Pinkie,” Sunset said with a smile.

“And I’m inviting your parents too,” Pinkie added.

Sunset’s smile fell. “Oh. I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Don’t be a Silly Billy! Of course they’ll want to see you again.”

“I didn’t exactly leave under pleasant circumstances, Pinkie. Princess Celestia wasn’t the only pony with whom I burned my bridges.”

“All the more reason to rebuild those bridges!” Pinkie replied cheerfully. “Am I right?”

“Listen to her, Sunny,” human Applejack said. “Family is more important than anything.”

“You won’t let me skip this, will you?” Sunset asked of her friends.

There was a chorus of ‘Nope’ from everyone present and we all laughed.

There were hugs all around before we made our final farewells and stepped back through the portal. The final thing that I saw before I took my turn was Earth’s Twilight with Sunset’s arm around her waist. I was the last person to start shipping people, but damned if I didn’t think those two had hit it off. Made me wonder about my Twilight.

Crimson Boulder was the watcher on duty on the other side. Once he had ascertained that our trip had gone without a hitch, he left to have Spike send a report to Trixie via dragonfire. We divested ourselves of our ill-fitting human clothing before heading off to our rooms to freshen up. Then we gathered again in the dining room for a snack and drink while Spike prepared a proper meal for us. Not surprisingly, Rainbow Dash wasn’t hungry and probably wouldn’t be for a while. We had plenty to discuss while we waited, but we all agreed that the visit had been a rousing success.

We were sitting around the dining table after finishing our meal when Spike spoke up.

“By the way, Twilight – the table that you ordered turned up yesterday. I had the delivery ponies put it into place.”

“Oh! That’s wonderful! Everypony – you have to see this,” Twilight replied, getting out of her chair and heading out of the room.

We all followed, wondering what was so special about this new addition to the furniture. When we entered the throne room, the answer became clear. A large, circular table occupied the area between the thrones and Twilight examined it closely.

“Yes, it’s perfect! Now we can all sit here and discuss our plans for the future. Come on everypony – take your places!” she insisted excitedly.

We all chuckled but the girls indulged her. I watched as the marks on the chair backs lit up as each took their throne. Fluttershy was the last to settle herself on the cushioned seat and that’s when things started getting wild. Beams of light shot out from the marks on the chairs and through the table. The floor shook and rumbled as crystal formations started pushing up out of the floor, knocking the table askew. Then something else started emerging from the center under the table which only I could see from my vantage point outside the circle of thrones. It shot up abruptly, flipping the table into the air. I froze for a moment as I realized that it was heading for me! Belatedly, I hastened to get out of its way, but it still caught me, trapping me beneath it.

Moments later, Twilight’s magic lifted the table off of me.

“Mark! Are you okay?”

I swayed dizzily on my hooves. “That’s new. Something crashed into me instead of me into it.”

“He’s okay,” Rainbow concluded. “Now would somepony tell me what this is?”

A new crystal table had replaced the wooden one which was now slightly worse for wear. Unlike that one, the new one sported a 3D map on its surface featuring towns and landmarks that even I was familiar with.

Spike hopped up onto the table and started walking through the map. “This is incredible! It’s got all of Equestria.”

“It is incredible,” Twilight agreed, “but what is it for?”

“I’ve got a better question,” I said. “Why are your butts glowing?”

Each of the mare’s cutie marks was now flashing brightly, and they stared at them in confusion. Then Twilight said, “We’re not the only ones, Mark.”

I looked around and saw mine was flashing too. Weird. Suddenly it and everypony else’s cutie marks projected a copy of itself out and over the map table. They orbited Twilight’s for a moment before lowering down to hover over a point in north-eastern Equestria.

Fluttershy pointed to the map and said, “If this is Ponyville, why are our cutie marks over there?”

“I don’t know, but it seems like the map wants us to find out. That must be the reason behind the Tree of Harmony giving us this castle. It finally makes sense! We have to follow it,” Twilight declared.

“Aw, shoot! Ah reckon yer right,” Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash hovered over the map, examining it more closely. “I’m all for it. Seems like there’s tons of opportunity for fun adventures.”

Pinkie and Rarity were willing to go along with them, but Fluttershy was a bit more reluctant. Then all six turned to me.

“What about you, Mark?”

“You’ve gotta be kidding! Trixie will kill me if I’m not back soon.”

“But you’ve been summoned by the map too,” Rarity argued.

Applejack grinned. “Plus, she’s likely to lock ya up in yer room because yer cutie mark will be glowin’ the whole time. That would distract everypony’s attention away from her.”

They all looked at me expectantly and I groaned. “Okay! Okay! I give up. I’ll go too.”

You only live once.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Next stop: Our Town!

Illustration credits:
Guy Chat by Foxenawolf and background by KC Guzman.
Awkward Interruption by Amalgamzaku.

Have you enjoyed this chapter? Consider giving me a tip via Ko-fi!

Chapter 27 - Cult of Equality

I wrote a long letter to Trixie explaining what had happened and our reasons for pursuing the strange summons of the map table. I guessed that it would take us a few days to get to the place, figure out why we were there, and then return. Hopefully, I would be back in Canterlot in time for next Monday’s court. I then gave the scroll to Spike to deliver it by dragonfire… long after the girls and I had departed on the train. I’m no idiot! It was better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission, and I sure as hell didn’t think the Great and Apoplectic Trixie would be particularly approving of our little jaunt.

The next problem was Twilight’s contingent of Royal Guards. It was the unanimous consensus of all six mares that the map had summoned the seven of us and only us. It was a quest if you will, and one that we had to undertake without the benefit of a plethora of soldiers backing us up. It was not as if my friends did not have a point – as the Element Bearers, they had successfully dealt with many problems by themselves. Most of them were accomplished before Twilight had become an alicorn which spoke for their competence. However, that point became moot after she ascended and became a princess of Equestria. What had been fine for a civilian was not appropriate for one of the rulers of the nation. I told her point blank that she did not have the right to gallivant into the unknown without at least a couple of bodyguards. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few more Royal Guards to keep an eye on the rest of the group too. Twilight was still on the fence and the ever-overconfident Rainbow Dash openly scoffed, so I played my ace.

“If you don’t take some Royal Guards, I’ll tell Spike to send that scroll now.”

Twilight sourly conceded, which just left my own bodyguard. He might as well have been a literal rock for all the impression their arguments had upon him.

“Magical maps are not included one way or the other in my orders, Your Highness. My duties are quite clear irrespective of Harmony-infused manifestations.”

Since he had been appointed by Trixie, Twilight could not simply override his orders. She at least won the concession that Crimson be counted as one of the protection detail. And so, we left with a squad of four bodyguards.

We boarded the Manehattan line train, although we would have to make a transfer well before we reached that city. It would be nightfall before we got there though, so we planned to stay at a hotel overnight. This wasn’t the first trip on this train done by the mares, but it was all new to me, and I enjoyed watching the countryside pass by. Rarity was happy to tell me all about their first visit to Manehattan, the fashion show that she won, and the new friend that they had made. One of these days, I would have to go see the sights for myself.

Speculation on why the map was sending us to a remote part of Equestria was brief – there was only so much that could be gleaned from so little information. Instead, we spent the majority of the journey discussing our little adventure in Sunset’s world. While we all felt that we’d like to visit again, the burden of the extreme time differential was going to make that awkward for the time being. On the flip side, Sunset could afford to spend a few days in Equestria and still be home in time for dinner. Twilight was already making plans for when that came about.

We pulled into a station of a township that was nestled in the foothills of a mountain range. From the platform, I could see the spur line that headed northwards to service the farming communities out that way. Due to handling a very low volume of passengers, the trains ran infrequently on that line and there would not be another until tomorrow morning. Thus, we had to stay here overnight. Twilight consulted with the station master who gave her directions to the hotel. While this was only a small township not unlike Ponyville, it was a local hub for road and train transport, so finding suitable accommodation for the seven of us was not a problem. Fluttershy offered to share a room with me, but then Rarity and Rainbow Dash wanted to do the same. I ended up in a room by myself, much to my relief. If I hadn’t, I think I would have had to take on my pegacorn form for the night. I wondered if I’d ever get used to being such an overt target for the mares.

After an early breakfast, we headed back to the station in time for the morning service on the North-East Line. Farms soon gave way to undeveloped lands with stations few and far between. Apparently, there were only a few mines out this way that the train serviced, and even then, it terminated abruptly in what seemed the middle of nowhere. The conductor had explained to us that the train normally didn’t even go this far and had only done so because we had purchased tickets to the end of the line. There wasn’t even a proper platform - only a raised level hard-packed gravel area suitable for loading and unloading. From this point, we hoofed it.

I actually enjoyed the walk. Phil and I not only went camping but also did a lot of hiking, and this was brand new territory for me to explore. It wasn’t quite untouched wilderness, as evidenced by tracks cut through the land and a rope bridge that spanned a chasm, and it showed that we were likely to be on the right track. Eventually, we were rewarded by the sight of a small village at the bottom of a valley that matched the image seen on the map table. I estimated that there were four dozen small homes clustered around a broad main street

Pinkie insisted on scouting ahead in the most cliché manner possible. She zipped from cover to cover, even lifting boulders to hide under. We just rolled our eyes and followed normally. This wasn’t a covert mission, after all, and acting suspiciously wasn’t the impression that we wanted to make on the inhabitants of the town. We paused on the outskirts to observe before entering. It seemed like a very ordinary place with some very bland buildings lined up on just one street that terminated with another dull house.

“This is the place that the map sent us?” Rainbow Dash asked in a disgusted tone. “It looks like the most boring place in Equestria!”

“It could do with some architectural flourishes,” Rarity said.

“I don’t like it! Not one bit!” Pinkie declared. “I know smiles, and those smiles – they’re just not right.”

“Forget the smiles – look at the cutie marks!” Twilight said.

I had been distracted by the big, creepy smiles plastered on the faces of every pony, but now that it had been pointed out, I saw that without exception, their cutie marks were the same – an ‘equals’ symbol.

“That’s weird. Is this sort of thing common?” I asked.

“Not at all,” Twilight replied. “I can’t understand how this can be! It’s hard to find two cutie marks alike, let alone a whole town with the same one.”

“Well, we’re not gonna find out what’s goin’ on just standing here yammering,” Applejack said. “Ah reckon we should go on into town and have a chat with the locals.”

It was the obvious and practical thing to do, so we headed in, although not without Pinkie declaring that those smiles were bad news. We were quickly spotted and the ponies started coming our way.

“Welcome!” the first one said, his smile growing even larger.

There was a chorus of welcomes from the other ponies, all of them grinning almost manically. A light blue unicorn stallion clad in a rather ratty cloak approached and also welcomed us but addressed Twilight directly.

“Pardon me, but are you an alicorn?” he asked.

“That there’s the Princess of Friendship,” Applejack announced as Twilight gave the pony a delighted smile.

“Well, you certainly came to the right place for friendship,” the stallion replied.

I couldn’t help but shudder at the way he said the word ‘friendship’. I was already getting weirded out.

“What brings you to town?” a white earth pony stallion asked.

“We’re… not entirely sure,” Twilight replied.

“No matter. All are welcome in our little village. My name is Double Diamond and this is Party Favor.”

“Howdy!” Applejack replied before introducing the rest of us.

“And you all have your own unique cutie marks!”

The girls and I all looked at each other, wondering how this could be such a novelty. Twilight put that mystery aside and asked if there had been any sort of problem affecting them recently. They denied ever having trouble in their village and suggested that we should speak to the town’s founder. With nothing else to go on, we decided to follow Double Diamond and hope that this Starlight Glimmer person could enlighten us. Fluttershy was quite taken by the friendliness of the townsfolk, but Pinkie was still suspicious. Frankly, I was on her side. Something definitely was not right here, and this was from a guy who had only been a pony for a few months.

We were led to the house that was at the end of the street, and after knocking, went straight in without waiting for an answer. I would have kicked their butts for rudely barging in without an invitation, but maybe they had different standards.

“Starlight! We have some new visitors!” announced Double Diamond.

On my guard for just about anything, I was disappointed when a seemingly average unicorn mare came out from another room. She had a pink coat and a purple mane with a blue stripe, plus the ubiquitous equals cutie mark.

“Welcome!” she declared.

We were introduced but Starlight seemed to have eyes mostly for Twilight.

“Forgive me, but would that be Princess Twilight Sparkle? We don’t get many alicorns around here. How did you find out about our little town?”

“Let’s just say that we found it on a map, and you can call me Twilight.”

“We’re happy to have you and anypony who wishes to experience true friendship for the first time.”

“Say what?” Applejack asked.

Starlight Glimmer then proudly told us that here they didn’t flaunt their special talents because they didn’t have any to flaunt. When Twilight asked if that was why they all had the same cutie mark, the unicorn suggested that a tour of the town would give us the answers that we were seeking. She led us outside and called out to the townsponies to gather. What followed was both bizarre and frightening. In what was obviously a well-rehearsed routine, they paraded and danced while Starlight extolled the virtues of “Our Town”. The stallions and the mares all matched step and the slightest imperfection corrected while the joys of conformity were celebrated. I didn’t know what my friends thought of this display, but I recognized repressive propaganda when I saw it and it raised my hackles. Somehow, the coloration of the townsponies also looked off to me, but I couldn’t figure out exactly why.

When the singing was done, Rainbow Dash burst into laughter and scoffed at giving up her cutie mark. Fluttershy scolded her, pointing out that the villagers seemed perfectly content with their choice. Twilight was plainly confused and said so.

Starlight said, “We have no judgments in our village. Each of us was confused once as well, blinded by the false promises of our cutie marks.”

Twilight said, “When we were sent here, we assumed it was to help in some way.”

The head mare replied, “Have you considered that you were sent here so that we may help you? After all, nopony has ever wanted to leave our village once they arrived. Why should you be any different? But that’s entirely your choice. In the meantime, please enjoy our little corner of Equestria. We’re all quite proud of it. Double Diamond – would you see to our guests, please?”

“Certainly, Starlight,” the white stallion replied enthusiastically.

As the unicorn walked back to her house, we wandered down the street to take a closer look at the houses and shops. Rarity nearly fainted at the sight of some poorly made clothing on sale. A farmer’s stand had some of the most miserable-looking vegetables and fruits that I had ever seen in two worlds. A furniture store had rickety chairs and lopsided tables on display. More evidence confirming what I already suspected, making me growl under my breath. We paused at what seemed to be a café judging by the sign and a table with chairs outside. I tested mine for structural integrity before parking my butt on it. I could crash well enough without the assistance of defective furniture, thank you!

A hot debate quickly started with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash at polar extremes with their opinions. I was about to add my two bits worth when the proprietor came out and I held my tongue. The others continued bickering until the mare spoke up.

“Is this a bad time? Is your friendship ending?”

“Are you crazy?!” Pinkie squealed. “We’d never let a disagreement get in the way of food!”

The mare looked a little taken aback. “O–kay. Well, my name is Sugar Belle. What can I bring you? We have muffins….”

She let the sentence hang. If the food situation was as bad as the rest that I had seen, I wasn’t too hopeful for a decent meal. “I guess we’ll have seven muffins then,” I said.

“Make that twelve!” Pinkie declared as Sugar Belle walked off to get our order.

As soon as the mare was out of earshot, I said, “Twilight, we have a problem. Did you notice how artificial their solidarity seems?”

The alicorn nodded. “It did seem very orchestrated – not like a heartsong at all.”

Oh yeah – those. I’d been caught up in a couple of them. Music coming from nowhere and everypony instinctively singing in Harmony. That had been totally absent here though. “Do you recognize this kind of thing?”

“No, it’s unlike anything that I’ve read about. Do you?”

“Unfortunately, yes. It has the hallmarks of a Stalinist regime.”

Applejack tilted her head and asked, “A what now?”

“It’s named after a human named Joseph Stalin who was responsible for imposing things like collectivism and forced labor on his country. People who disagreed with his policies were either arrested or executed. He was the worst of dictators and millions died under his leadership. Anyone who did not conform was considered a threat to the State.”

“What about the awful clothes and produce?” Rarity asked.

“Some of the results of Stalin’s ideologies were shortages of food and goods. I admit, however, that there seems to be an additional element at play here. I have never seen so much universally poor-quality stuff anywhere. I’m missing something.”

Sugar Belle returned with a tray full of muffins. Just looking at them, I could tell they were burnt. She put them on the table and gave us a slightly confused look.

“Were you arguing again? All those different cutie marks must make for a lot of disharmony. You really should consider having them removed.”

Applejack was aghast. “Are you plumb loco? Why would we ever do that?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not making myself clear. Different talents lead to disagreements which lead to bitterness and misery.”

She was interrupted by the sound of Pinkie gagging and then spitting out a mouthful of the muffin that she had just bitten into. She plastered a fake smile on her face and said, “Sorry – it went down the wrong way. It’s really… good.”

Sugar Belle apparently wasn’t fooled. “It’s alright – I know they’re not very good. I’m no better baker than anypony else in the village, but that’s my job.” Then she jerked as she realized something and I noticed Double Diamond across the street seeming to take a lot of interest in what she was saying. “Well, I hope you enjoy your stay in our little village!” The mare then hastily retreated.

Pinkie immediately started trying to remove the remnants of the muffin from her mouth. I decided to risk tasting one to find out for myself what they were like. For starters, they were almost rock-hard, and the burnt exterior was unpleasant. I would like to describe the taste, but I’ve chewed cardboard with more flavor. Pinkie’s more discerning taste buds must have been seriously offended. The best that I could possibly say about the muffin is that it seemed to be edible… barely, and that was only at the risk of cracking a tooth. This was the last straw. I forced myself to swallow the mouthful and then turned back to Twilight.

“Something is seriously wrong here, Twilight. I don’t understand why everything is of universally bad quality, but what Sugar Belle said about different talents must have something to do with it. The townsponies are all acting like they’re brainwashed into conformity. And then there’s our friend over there spying on us.” I pointed a hoof at the white stallion who buried his head in a book and tried to look as if he had not been hanging on our every word. Unsurprisingly, the cover of the book had a huge equals sign on it.

“Perhaps we should clear this up with Starlight Glimmer?” Fluttershy softly suggested. “After all, despite what we’ve seen, the ponies here seem very happy.”

I groaned. Fluttershy was painfully naïve. However, she did make a good suggestion. Of all the ponies here, she seemed too good to be true to her ideals, and the way she had led those townsfolk in fervent celebration of their village spoke to me of a manipulation. “I agree – let’s get some answers from Starlight that aren’t a propaganda campaign.”

As no one seemed inclined to eat the muffins, the motion was carried and we all headed back to the founder’s house. Only then did I notice that our minder Double Diamond was no longer at his table.

The pink unicorn seemed unsurprised at our return. She smiled disarmingly and said, “You have some questions, I believe?”

Twilight said, “Yes, we’ve noticed that despite all the positive spin that you’ve put on your community’s practices, there seems to be a shortage of quality anything here. If surrendering their cutie marks has led to this, why do you keep doing it?”

“Oh, Princess, you have it all backward!” Starlight replied. “We’re trying to build a community of equality, not of superiority. How would you know that every one of these ponies was a lesser light in their field? Although their cutie marks said that their talent lay in cooking or farming or building, other ponies were better than them, leading to resentment and anger. Here, nopony is better than any other, so no such conflicts exist. And where there is no animosity, friendship can truly grow! The lack of perfection is a small price to pay.”

“And what happens if anypony does decide that the price was too high?” I asked.

“Nopony ever has,” the mare replied smugly.

Yeah, due to the brainwashing and ruthless application of social pressure, no doubt. I knew a cult leader when I saw one. They were always the most fervent.

“How do you remove cutie marks anyway?” Twilight asked.

I sighed. This wasn’t the time to indulge your scientific curiosity, Twi. Then I changed my mind. It could help supply the piece of the puzzle that I hadn’t figured out yet.

Starlight looked delighted and excited to be asked. “I could show you if you wish?”

“Yes, please,” the alicorn replied.

“I can take you there right now. Please follow me.”

We followed the unicorn out and up a path leading into the surrounding hills, our bodyguards in tow. Starlight continued to exude enthusiasm for the practice of removing cutie marks and putting them in a vault. That surprised me. I had been thinking that they had been erased, but apparently, they were literally taken off ponies. Sounded painful!

Starlight said, “I’m so delighted at your interest in the cutie mark vault. Someday we hope that everypony in Equestria will make a pilgrimage here to see how perfect equality leads to perfect friendship.”

“Yeah, sure, Comrade Glimmer,” I muttered, noticing that we had a tail. Double Diamond was tagging along like a good little stooge. I had a bad feeling about this. Still, there were seven of us to two, so we ought to be okay.

We were led inside a cavern where we were confronted by a glowing lattice of crystal cells, each one containing a cutie mark suspended in the glow of the magic holding them there. In front of them was a small platform with a twisted wooden staff with two prongs on the end.

Starlight’s horn glowed and lifted the pole to present it to us. “This is the Staff of Sameness, one of Mage Meadowbrook’s nine enchanted items. This is the tool that allows us to free ourselves from our marks to bring about harmonious equality.” Then she frowned. “But I hear that you’ve been bringing disruptive thoughts to our community. All kinds of dangerous free-thinking.”

Uh-oh! Danger, Will Robinson! She’s leading up to something.

Rarity attempted to placate the mare. “Oh! We never meant to cause any disruptions to your charming little community.”

“Good! Let’s make sure of that, shall we?” Starlight declared.

“Girls – I suggest we leave. Now!” I said urgently.

I turned around, only to see many of the other villagers quietly crowding into the cavern behind us, blocking our escape. They still had that creepy smile on their faces, and that made me even more worried. And what had happened to our guards?

“It’s a trap!” yelled Twilight. She lit up her horn to attack, but Starlight was ready for her, striking the alicorn with a beam from the staff. Twilight’s spell was disrupted and she groaned in pain.

“Everypony – stop Starlight!” I screamed and charged at the mare.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack were at my sides instantly, but we were too late. A second beam from the Staff of Sameness enveloped all of us, freezing us in our tracks. I felt something tearing at my very soul and I moaned in agony. I couldn’t see what was happening to me, but I had a perfect view of what it was doing to Twilight. Abruptly, her cutie mark ripped away from her hindquarters and zipped over to the staff, quickly joined by mine and those of my friends. Then Starlight pointed the staff at the vault and each mark flew to an open cell and was locked within. Meanwhile, we all collapsed, feeling weak and hollow. I didn’t feel as drained as I did after Tirek sucked away my magic, but the feeling of depletion was similar. The coats and manes on all of us took on a washed-out hue that I only now realized was what looked wrong about the townsponies. I glanced back and saw that horrendous equals sign where the cloud and thunderbolt used to be, and I shuddered. I never used to care about my cutie mark, but now that it was gone, I felt a profound loss.

Starlight approached us as we struggled to our hooves. “I don’t blame you for what you tried to do here today. You’ve spent your whole lives thinking those marks are a good thing.”

“Give them back!” demanded Twilight.

“No, I think not. Now you can spend the rest of your lives here and learn how much better off you will be without your cutie marks, and contribute to the community in perfect equality.”

“Dream on, sister! We’re not going to let you keep our cutie marks. Come on, girls!”

I tried to lead another attack on Starlight, but that’s when the villagers pounced on us. There were two or three to every one of us and we were quickly overwhelmed. Their sheer numbers probably accounted for our missing guards too. Starlight just stood there smiling smugly. I never wanted to plant a hoof in a face as badly as I did then. I couldn’t extricate myself from the grip of the townsponies though. What shocked me was that Applejack was similarly confined. I’ve seen that mare buck a boulder fifty feet, but now a unicorn and a pegasus were having little difficulty holding her. Then Rainbow Dash managed to wriggle her way free and she took to the air… and promptly crashed into the ceiling and fell back to the floor. I winced in sympathy knowing how that felt. Come to think of it, I knew exactly how that felt. She had just performed as badly as I did in some situations. I shuddered. Were her skills now equal to mine?

The missing piece of the puzzle fell into place. The Staff of Sameness could not elevate a pony’s skills to match those of others, so it had to repress them until they were the same as everypony else who had been affected. That’s why everything was so bad back at the village. The baker was only as good as the worst pastry-maker in the community. The tailor was only as competent as the worst clothes-maker. The furniture-maker was only as skilled as the worst carpenter. I looked over to Twilight to see her attempting what had to be a powerful spell, but her efforts were doomed because I knew that she was now just as inept as the worst magic user in the group. We were screwed.

“Take them back to the village,” ordered Starlight. “They need to be re-educated before they can become full members of our community.”

We were dragged back to town and locked into an empty building. Like all the others, construction was shoddy but the door was adequate enough to keep us confined. That didn’t stop Rainbow Dash from trying, but the mare who once boasted of demolishing a barn by dive-bombing it barely made the door shudder. I tried changing into Marklestia, but that was a total failure too. It would not have been so bad being stuck there with my friends, but a speaker in the ceiling soon started spouting slogans and propaganda incessantly. I could hear echoes from outside, so it seemed that the locals weren’t spared reinforcement of their brainwashing either.

Twilight was going nuts listening to the drivel on the speaker. Rarity was upset that she could not tell if the drapes were tasteful or not. Then again, neither could I. Fluttershy tried to talk to a bird to get help but neither understood the other. However, her efforts might not be necessary.

“Cheer up, girls. I don’t think Starlight realizes what a can of worms she’s opened.”

“What do you mean?” Applejack asked.

“I mean that Trixie knows where we went by now, and you know for certain that she’s going to send a squad of Royal Guards after us, and me in particular. Spike will point out the map, so they’ll know where this village is. That means they’re only a day behind us. As long as they stay away from that damned staff, they’re more than a match for the villagers.”

“As long as they don’t get caught by surprise like we were,” Rainbow Dash said sourly.

“Ah’m plumb sorry Ah argued against bringing more guards,” Applejack confessed. “Maybe ours wouldn’t have been overwhelmed lahk we were.”

“What if Starlight brings the Staff of Sameness to her house?” Twilight replied. “She caught all seven of us at once without any problem. We can’t take the chance that she’ll do that to the Guards too. We have to try to persuade her to give back our cutie marks.”

“Good luck with that,” I scoffed. “I know a fanatical cultist when I hear one.”

The alicorn sighed. “There’s something odd about that staff. I’m certain that Mage Meadowbrook only had eight magical items, not nine, and the staff wasn’t one of them.” She tried again to manipulate the lock with her magic but only succeeded in rattling the latch.

I thought about what she said. My bullshit-detecting senses were still tingling and that only made it worse. I scowled as I watched Starlight walking down the street, occasionally nudging a citizen into line. I saw her braid a mare’s mane after a ribbon holding it fell off. My eyebrows threatened to disappear into my hairline. “Twilight – do me a favor, will you? Could you braid Applejack’s mane for me?”

Applejack was startled. “Why would ya want to do that to me? Ain’t we supposed to be resistin’ conformity?”

“It’s an experiment, AJ. It’ll only be temporary. Can you do it, Twi?”

“I suppose. I’ve done it many times for others.” Her horn lit and Applejack’s mane started getting manipulated. After several excruciating minutes, the final result was a disaster. She stared at it and groaned. “I can’t even do that right now!”

“I figured that might be the case. So, tell me this – why can Starlight do it effortlessly?” I asked.

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise, as did those of a couple of the other mares. The implications were obvious.

“She’s not equally talented,” Rarity blurted out.

I nodded. “That’s my conclusion too. So, what else is she lying about? The staff that Twilight doesn’t recall learning about? Their supposed true friendship? What I see out there are ponies who have been cowed into conforming and brainwashed into thinking that it’s a good thing.”

“You didn’t need all that to tell me Starlight’s up to no good,” Rainbow Dash said. “But how’s that going to help us?”

“Well, we might not be able to persuade her that she’s wrong, but maybe we can make the villagers see what she’s doing to them and they can help us.”

“And if that doesn’t work?” Applejack asked skeptically.

I shrugged. “Sic Fluttershy onto her?”

The butter yellow pegasus went, “Eep!”

“How’s that supposed to help us, darling?” Rarity asked.

“Fluttershy has been quite openly pleased with what she’s seen here. I don’t think it would take much convincing to get Starlight to accept her as a convert. Once out of here, she could get our cutie marks back.”

We all looked expectantly at her and she cringed. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

Twilight said, “It’s okay, Fluttershy. We’ll try getting the villagers on our side first.”

I looked back out the window just in time to see two pegasi crash into each other mid-air. After the latest round of downgrades, they might be getting a little more frustrated with their plight. Between my clumsiness and Fluttershy’s weak flying, the winged ponies were definitely worse off. Spike did all the cooking back home because Twilight was terrible at it, and I could only imagine what that would do to mealtimes here. While everypony had their special talents, it was also true that most ponies had something that they were really bad at doing. When everypony was that bad, things would start falling apart pretty quickly. We just needed to give these villagers a push in the right direction.

Sheer exhaustion finally allowed us to sleep through the incessant propaganda spouting from the speaker all night. Rainbow Dash’s attempts to break it had failed, and Twilight’s magic had only managed to create static for as long as she could maintain her casting, which wasn’t very long at all now.

We were let out with the promise of breakfast, but only after we confronted Starlight and the villagers first. Knowing some of the tactics used, I suspected we’d go back inside hungry.

“Come and greet your friends!” Starlight exhorted us as we trudged outside. “Are you ready yet to put aside your false dreams of superiority and join us in true equality? There are so many friends to be made once you do!”

“Forget it, lady!” Rainbow spat out. “We’re going to get our cutie marks back!”

Applejack frowned and said, “Friendship don’t work like that! You can’t force nopony to be friends!”

“We love new friends!” one of the villagers cried out. “Please join our community.”

“It’s alright, everypony,” Starlight said. “It’s a perfectly normal part of the equalization process…”

“No, it isn’t!” I yelled, interrupting the unicorn. “This is a straight-out attempt to brainwash us through threats, propaganda, and physical abuse. And the worst of it is that Starlight Glimmer is lying to you. She’s not a shining example of what she preaches either. She’s obviously better at doing some things than the rest of us who have been equalized.”

“What are you talking about?” Starlight asked with a frown. “Have we not shown you how we all are so happy working for a common cause in our equality? Conformity is a blessing that comes with not having cutie marks telling us that we’re better than other ponies.”

“I notice that you didn’t explain how you’re not equal to everypony else,” I retorted. “And if conformity is so good, why do you have a manestyle that’s different from all the other mares’? I noticed you correcting other ponies’ manes.”

“My mane is irrelevant. If the villagers wish me to change it, I will. I’ve had enough of this. It’s clear that you’re not ready to accept our friendship yet. Lock them up again. Perhaps they’ll be more reasonable tomorrow.”

As a couple of stallions started herding us back, I resisted, saying, “What right do you have to give orders, Starlight? If you’re all equal, why are you the one who always says how things are done? I don’t see true friendship here; I see nothing but a power-hungry mare imposing her will on some ponies she has shamelessly taken advantage of.”

“Don’t listen to that stallion’s rants! I’ve done nothing but work hard for the happiness of our village.”

“And see what that’s got you! Bad food and shoddy workmanship. Her leadership has worked to the detriment of everypony. It’s time for fresh ideas, and if you are equal, you should elect a new mare or stallion to improve your current standing.”

“Quiet!” Starlight ordered angrily. “I founded this town and the principles on which it was built. That is why I lead.”

I poked my face in hers. “Your town is doomed, Starlight Glimmer. Your methods are as deeply flawed as your reasoning. Equalizing everypony only brings us all down to our worst common traits, and with every new pony you add, that problem gets worse. How many ponies have had accidents since you stole our cutie marks? I hate to admit it, but I’m a klutz. Flying straight is a major effort for me, and falling down stairs is a regular occurrence, but now it’s the same for every other pony here. All of us are bad at something, and your stupid Staff of Sameness just makes everypony else that bad too. Eventually, this whole village will die because nopony will be able to do anything useful. And it will be all because of you!” I jabbed her in the chest for emphasis.

That finally shook the mare and for a moment I thought I might have gotten through to her. That moment passed though and she scowled back at me. “No! Cutie marks bring nothing but misery. I’ve brought true happiness to everypony for the first time in their lives.”

I grinned at her. “So, you are saying that you have succeeded here, correct? That everypony is an equal now? There are no special ponies, right?”

She lifted her head proudly. “Exactly! And soon, you all will see—”

I cut her off by pointing my hoof at a random pony surrounding us. “You! What is your name, citizen?”

The chartreuse earth pony mare with two-tone yellow hair took a step back and looked to Starlight for guidance.

“No, no,” I continued. “Don’t look to her for permission to speak. Everypony is equal here. Now, what is your name?”

“It’s…” After another glance at the pink unicorn, she put down her hoof, threw out her chest, and put on a brave show, though her smile was not very convincing. “My name is Sure Shot!”

I looked back to the pink unicorn who was smiling proudly. Not for long.

“Sure Shot, you will now be referred to as ‘Founder’.”

Starlight’s smile disappeared but I kept talking before she could protest. “Sure Shot, you will now live in the house at the end of the street. The townsponies will look to you for guidance now, not Starlight Glimmer. No pony gets to keep special privileges or possessions or accommodations. Starlight seems to have forgotten that.” I shouted to continue speaking over the mare’s protests. “After every other pony in town has been able to be ‘Founder’ for a month, then Starlight can return for her fair turn. If you truly believe in equality, you would not object, but you do object, don’t you?”

Starlight scoffed, but I saw her glance nervously to her flock. “Ridiculous. I only hold my position because of the love my ponies have for me.”

I sneered. “And you are counting on that love to always allow you to lead. You may promise to step down someday but you never will because you want everypony to be equal… except for you. You would rather die than give up control of this town, wouldn’t you, Starlight? You would rather kill than give up control of this town, wouldn’t you, Starlight? You are no different than every other petty dictator that ever walked on Equus.”

I pointed at Sure Shot, who was backing up quickly. “There she is, Starlight. There is the threat to your leadership, right there. Every single pony in this town believes with all their being in exactly what you told them… that this is the only place where they can be happy by being the same as everypony else. But now they are terrified of you because they know you aren’t equal… and you never will be.”

“Enough! Lock them up!” Starlight yelled.

I had managed to sow the seeds of uncertainty though, and the villagers hesitated. I didn’t. “Let’s go get our cutie marks back!”

My friends and I tried to charge off, got tangled with other ponies as they wavered, and then the problem was compounded as pegasi crashed into us and Starlight. There was a long confusing scuffle before we found ourselves overwhelmed again. But as I stood there panting, held by two stallions, I noticed something that brought a grin to my face.

“Hey, Starlight – your slip is showing!”

“What are you talking about?” she asked irritably.

I raised a hoof to point at her backside where makeup had been smeared, revealing something beneath the ubiquitous equals sign.

Several of the townsponies gasped as they recognized the different cutie mark that had been hidden underneath.

“You have a cutie mark!” one pony screamed.

“How could you?” a mare practically sobbed.

“You said cutie marks were evil and only led to pain and heartache!” Double Diamond choked out.

Oh, yeah – the lie was falling to pieces now.

“NO! I’m not the problem!” Starlight insisted. She pointed at us. “They are. Look at all the disharmony and trouble they’ve caused just trying to get their cutie marks back!”

“But they’ve been blessed by the Staff of Sameness, so according to you, they should not want them anymore. They should be happy to have them gone, but they’re not, and neither are we!”

I was impressed. Starlight’s former stooge was now the one speaking loudest against her.

“Why did you take ours and not give up your own?” Sugar Belle asked.

Starlight looked like a cornered rat. “I… I had to, you fools! How could I collect your cutie marks without my magic?!”

“But… the Staff has all the magic that we need,” Night Glider pointed out.

“The Staff is a stick of wood that I found in the desert!” Starlight sneered. “It’s my magic that made this all possible. If it wasn’t for me, you’d all still be living your miserable lives thinking that you’re better than everypony else. I brought you friendship. I brought you equality. I created harmony!”

“You lied to us!” Double Diamond yelled.

“So what? Everything else I’ve said is true. The only way for us to be happy is for us to be all equal.”

Party Favor scowled and replied, “As Mark Wells pointed out, all except you.”

Starlight’s expression was thunderous and her horn lit up. I gulped. Things were looking bad. If Starlight snapped…

Twilight stepped forward, trying to ameliorate the situation. “Everypony has unique talents and gifts, and when we share them with each other—”

“QUIET!” screamed Starlight.

“No, Starlight, I won’t be quiet. You’ve had your say, and now it’s my turn. I don’t call myself the Princess of Friendship for nothing. Discovering true friendship and the happiness that it brings is the lesson I learned that enabled me and my friends to save Equestria from Nightmare Moon, and to defeat Discord, and then make him an ally. It’s what helped me earn my wings and gave me direction in my life. And it’s why the Tree of Harmony gifted us with a magical means to find those who need our friendship the most. What you have espoused is a delusion based on a lie, and honesty is one of the basic tenets of Harmony and friendship.” She stepped back and my friends and I gathered around her. “We’re all so much stronger because of it.”

The gathered ponies gasped. Without noticing it at first, we had begun to glow. Then our hooves left the ground as we started rising into the air. When colors started flashing around us, I suddenly recognized what was happening. Just as it had back in the Tree of Harmony’s cave, the Elements were expressing themselves through their special rainbow magic. The Elements of Harmony were once again adorned with bright flowing colors. The pink unicorn lowered her head and shot a light-blue beam, but it was absorbed harmlessly by a pulsing yellow sphere that surrounded the seven of us.

“No! How is this possible? You have no special magic!” gasped Starlight.

“You’re wrong, Starlight. You may have taken my cutie mark, but within me, I carry the most powerful magic of all. The Magic of Friendship makes all things possible,” Twilight replied as her horn lit up. Not just from the alicorn, but from all of us, a rainbow beam formed from the bubble and arced towards the unicorn.

A moment before Starlight was struck, she teleported away. With the threat gone, the sphere surrounding us faded away.

As we settled down on the ground, Double Diamond yelled, “Let’s get our cutie marks back!”

“Yeah!” the villagers chorused, dashing off towards the cave.

My friends and I followed them. Without knowing where Starlight had teleported, getting our cutie marks back was the next highest priority. On the way, I turned to Twilight and said, “You know – if you had managed to open that box before Tirek showed his face, that stunt we just pulled would have been really useful fighting him.”

Twilight nodded. “True. And if wishes were fishes, pegasi would never starve. Besides, you might never have gained your present ability to transform at will into your pegacorn form.”

Yeah, she had me there.

By the time we got to the cave, the villagers were already pounding at the vault with their hooves, but in their weak equalized state, their efforts were insufficient to break it. We were still powered up with the rainbow power of Harmony, and Twilight drew on our strength to shatter the crystal cutie mark container. Brightly glowing balls of light shot out of the vault and flew around the cave until they found their owners. As each pony’s mark found its place, that mare or stallion rose into the air and glowed, then returned to the earth restored to their true selves, delight bringing smiles of joy to their faces.

“Now that’s what I call true smiles!” Pinkie said with great satisfaction.

“But where are our cutie marks?” I asked as our rainbow power died away, leaving us in our equalized and weakened state.

Double Diamond walked up to us with regret etched on his features. “I’m sorry, but Starlight told me to fetch your cutie marks and bring them to her house. She said that she had special plans for them.”

“Oh, no!” Rarity gasped. “We must go there at once!”

“We’ll help,” several of the villagers said.

We dashed out of the cave but the normalized ponies quickly outpaced us. Night Glider knocked down the locked door just as we caught up, and we rushed into the house. I tripped on my nemesis the stairs, blocking the way before I was helped to my hooves by a sympathetic pony. We spread out, checking all the rooms before Fluttershy found a now uncovered secret tunnel that had been hidden under the bed. Night Glider took the lead down the tunnel, followed by Party Favor, Sure Shot, and Double Diamond. Twilight and I came next, with our friends right behind us. We eventually emerged from the tunnel somewhere in the hills surrounding the village and we started looking around for the fleeing unicorn.

“There she is!” Night Glider shouted, her superior pegasus vision picking the galloping mare out on a path leading into the mountains.

Party Favor pulled some balloons out of nowhere, blew them up, and started manipulating them. He held the result up to his eyes like the binoculars that they now resembled. I shrugged – I’d seen Pinkie do crazier things.

“That’s Starlight alright,” Party Favor said. “She’s pulling a cart and I see jars with your cutie marks in them.”

Sugar Belle said, “There’s a whole network of caves and tunnels up there. She could lose us easily and your cutie marks will be gone forever if she gets there before we can catch her.”

“Then let’s get moving, y’all!” Applejack declared, trotting off.

Rainbow Dash tried her best to speed away but was stymied by her diminished capabilities. She looked so frustrated! “Oh, come on!” she screamed.

Sure Shot pulled a large slingshot out of her mane. I noted that its shape matched the one now on her flanks. “Night Glider! Can you get me close to her?”

The pegasus nodded and went to pick up the earth pony around her barrel but Sure Shot held up a hoof. “Wait! I need something to shoot! It has to be the size of my hoof or smaller and hard. The more spherical the better.”

Everypony looked around at each other with frowns. Double Diamond said, “Everything is back at town. There aren’t even any good-sized rocks out here.”

Pinkie trotted up with a bag in hoof. “Will these muffins do?”

Twilight blinked. “You held onto those?”

The party mare shrugged. “I was waiting until I was hungry enough to eat them. Even with my taste buds comatose, I still didn’t want to.” She turned to Sugar Belle. “No offense.”

Sure Shot grabbed the bag and opened it, peering inside. “These will do.” She nodded at Night Glider and the pegasus soon was carrying the mare away from us at an impressive speed. I had a thought and yelled after them “Free Twilight’s cutie mark first!” Sure Shot looked back at me, the bag in her mouth. She nodded then looked forward again.

Everypony ran after Starlight, but there were no other fliers in the group of citizens who had followed us through the tunnel. The pegasus aversion to enclosed spaces had doubtless deterred them. Soon, the other townsponies left my friends and I behind as we could only travel at my quick canter – I still had not mastered a full gallop.

The Elements and I stopped at a bend in the mountain path that let us overlook a valley below. A long, thin stone bridge connected our mountain to another. The path led to a clearing with a large cave, obviously her destination.

Starlight was past the bridge and looked over her shoulder directly at us and came to a halt. Turning herself and the wagon around completely, she looked where the townsponies were descending the mountain, perhaps a minute away from reaching her. The pink unicorn pointed her horn down at the bridge and it began to glow brighter and brighter.

Just then, Night Glider flew up above the side of the mountain just behind Starlight and Sure Shot let fly one of Sugar Belle’s muffins.

At the tinkling sound, Starlight’s eyes went wide and she looked around to see Night Glider, who wisely dove out of the way of Starlight’s horn blast. While she was distracted, I looked more closely at a burst of energy that was streaking towards us. It was lavender in color.

Glancing back at Starlight, I saw she had turned around again and was galloping for the cave and safety. Turning to Twilight, I observed her cutie mark attaching itself followed by a blinding flash of magic that made Twilight look like a black silhouette against pure white.

When the spots cleared from my eyes, I saw Twilight’s mane and coat colors had returned to normal. She had her wings spread, a confident smile on her face, and her eyes started to glow.

I felt the wrench of teleportation and all of us were standing in the mouth of the cave, looking back at the mountainside we had come from and Starlight galloping at full speed, almost on top of us. Her eyes opened wide and she teleported back several feet as the wagon continued to hurtle towards us. Twilight threw up a shield and the wagon smashed to pieces on it, though the remaining jars floated to safety in the pink unicorn’s aura to a spot behind her. Starlight used the distraction to cast the familiar cutie mark-stealing spell at all of us, but it flowed harmlessly around the bubble Twilight created.

“Wha—?” gasped Starlight. “It took me years to perfect that spell! How could you—?”

“I studied magic for years too, but what I didn’t know then was that studying could only take me so far. Each of my friends has taught me something different about myself. It was their unique gifts, talents, and passions that helped bring out the magic inside of me. I never would have learned that I represent the Element of Magic without these five mares. And I certainly wouldn’t be here to stop you now.” Twilight smiled. “Besides, cutie mark magic is extremely difficult, not impossible. Once I saw how you did it, I knew how to counter it.”

“Spare me your sentimental nonsense!” The pink unicorn powered up her horn and turned to the side. “You have a choice, Princess. Either let me pass with your friends’ cutie marks or I will destroy the bridge with the villagers on it.”

I was struck by fear but surprised to see Twilight smirk. “So, you are saying Mark Wells was right. You would rather kill ponies than let them live free of your control.”

Starlight’s head jerked back and her eyes went wide. That’s when Twilight struck. Snow spiraled towards Starlight from her left which the unicorn easily blocked with a shield. That meant she did not see the stones Twilight had thrown from her other side until it was nearly too late. Despite a second shield thrown up that protected the jars more than the mare, I heard the tinkling of glass, and an orange streak of energy shot toward us. Applejack soon joined the fray.

Beams of magic, numerous teleports, and rocks flying everywhere added to the chaos. The nature of cutie marks or the cages that confined them apparently made them unable to be teleported. Instead, the pink mare would send them flying in the direction she was going to go, then catch them the moment she reappeared. To my amazement, Starlight seemed perfectly capable of blocking and countering Twilight’s attacks. The mare was limited by needing to keep the remaining jars away from every pony and all the debris, but she wasn’t perfect. A snowball from down the path knocked another jar out of Starlight’s magic field. I turned to see that Double Diamond, Sugar Belle, and Party Favor had arrived. A restored Rarity ran out of the cave and immediately started clumping and throwing snowballs at a prodigious rate.

Soon, I saw a wagon wheel fly through the air and barely miss a distracted Starlight Glimmer, though it did break another of the jars on its way past. A revitalized Fluttershy trotted out from the cave entrance and tried to calm everypony down, but no one was listening.

I had seen Twilight’s lavender field start to form around the blue aura surrounding the jars, only to slough off as it could not get enough purchase. Suddenly, solid spikes of purple magic shot in from both sides, smashing two of the three remaining jars together.

As Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash waited for their cutie marks to reach them, Starlight screamed in frustration. The final jar whizzed towards me, not far overhead. I heard the sound of teleportation from inside the cave and saw the pink unicorn way down the cavern. This time, Twilight and Starlight grabbed the jar simultaneously and both fields overlapped as they fought for it. My cutie mark vibrated in its prison as it became apparent how much Starlight was a match for Twilight in the strength of their unicorn magic. I leaped for it but it remained tantalizingly out of reach. The tug-of-war was settled by another muffin from Sure Shot.

As I felt the magic of my cutie mark settle on my flank, I looked back to Starlight Glimmer. Her face was twisted in rage as she glared at me. “I gave these ponies real friendships they could never have had otherwise!”

“How do you know that?” demanded Double Diamond as he trotted up beside me. “You never even gave us a chance!”

“Forget it, guys,” I said. “You’re talking to a fanatic who can’t see past her own bias.”

Starlight scowled at me before her horn lit up again. Twilight prepared to shield us but the unicorn abruptly disappeared in another teleport. Hoofbeats echoed from the cave informing us where she had gone.

“She’s getting away!” cried Rainbow Dash.

“Don’t bother trying to follow her,” Double Diamond said. “It’s a real maze in there, and the echoes only deceive you as to where they’re coming from.”

Twilight said, “We can only hope that when she’s had the time to think it over, she’ll realize that you all have taught her something.” I frowned. That last look made me doubt the zealot was going to do anything but blame the seven of us and plan her revenge. One of the scenarios Shining and I had run with the Royal Guards involved stopping an overpowered unicorn, and I mentally moved way up the need to find countermeasures.

Party Favor said, “It’s you who have taught us something. We all came to this village because we were searching for something missing from our lives. We thought that Starlight had given it to us. But now it seems it was in front of us all along. It’s us!” He and Double Diamond, Night Glider, Sure Shot, and Sugar Belle all embraced.

Ponies were such huggy people!

“Does that mean you’ll stay in the village?” Twilight asked.

“It’s our home,” Night Glider replied. “I’m not going anywhere!”

Sure Shot said, “This is our chance to really get to know each other for the very first time.”

“And I have a chance to bake something other than terrible muffins!” declared Sugar Belle.

We all laughed at that, and Pinkie wiped her brow in relief.

Upon returning to the village, we found our embarrassed bodyguards who had freed themselves after getting their cutie marks back. Considering how easily we had been captured, I could hardly blame them for being caught by surprise.

While Sugar Belle baked up a storm with the help of some willing (and competent) assistants, the rest of the villagers went about fixing up the town for some celebrations. By the time the feast was ready, Party Favor had the street gaily decorated to Pinkie’s high standards. She was also approving of the genuinely happy expressions that had replaced the forced smiles.

A weird sensation from my upper thigh caused me to look around to see what it was, and I saw the girls do the same. Our cutie marks were flashing once more.

“I’m never gonna get used to that,” Applejack declared.

“Well, I think it’s divine,” Rarity demurred.

“Does that mean the map is calling us somewhere else?” Fluttershy asked.

Twilight replied, “I have a feeling that it means our work here is done.”

“Looks like you were right, Twilight,” Applejack said. “The map did have a reason for sending us here. We brought real friendship to these here ponies. Ah guess why that’s the reason why yer the Princess of Friendship.”

“But the map didn’t just send me – it sent us. You’re a part of me. All of you,” she added, looking at me in particular. “And there’s no doubt that you’re a part of my mission to spread friendship too.”

The girls ‘awwed’ and hugged Twilight. I rolled my eyes at their sappiness but joined in after Rarity gave me a pointed look.

After we broke apart, Pinkie asked, “Now that our mission is complete, do we have to go? Because that Sugar Belle sure can bake!”

Twilight chuckled and replied, “I think we can stay a little while longer.”

We walked down the street to join the others, and the villagers welcomed us joyfully. Pinkie was right – Sugar Belle’s pastries were awesome.

Our feasting was nearly complete when something caught my eye.

“Don’t look now, guys, but the cavalry has arrived.” I pointed up into the hills.

Coming over the rise was Steady Flight at the vanguard of a full squad of Royal Guards.

“Time to face the music,” I sighed.

“Don’t worry, friends,” Party Favor said with a grin. “We’ve got this. Coming, Pinkie?”

The military never stood a chance.

Oh, there were consequences once we got back home. Trixie was not amused, and she read the riot act to all of us including Twilight. The alicorn was adamant that they had done the right thing and wouldn’t back down. The two spent all day thrashing out a new agreement, while Raven and I worked to stop either of them going too far. Frankly, I was pleased that Twilight was finally getting some backbone in her role as Princess of Equestria, but I still had to side with Trixie because she rightfully pointed out that the problem could have waited a few days while proper security arrangements were made. That, of course, screwed me too because I had ditched Trixie and she sure didn’t let me forget it.

After things calmed down, I began to think more about the temporary removal of my cutie mark and how it had affected me. Up until now, it really hadn’t mattered to me and, frankly, I could have lived without ever having one. But I did, and it had to mean something. It didn’t change when I took my pegacorn form, so it was an integral part of me, but I didn’t understand what. Its loss had profoundly troubled me but I didn’t know why. I felt it was time to find out.

There was just one other mystery to clear up, and I can’t believe that not one of us thought to ask – what the heck was the name of Starlight’s village?!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Don't worry - there weren't too many casualties among the Royal Guard – nothing that a bit of antacid wouldn't cure. :rainbowlaugh:

This was a hard chapter to write because so many aspects had to stay the same but events needed to play out differently. Hopefully you liked the result. Please don't tell me that Starlight's village is called Our Town because it is Mark who doesn't realize this.

Art by Foxenawolf.
Background is a show asset.

Chapter 28 - New Acquaintances

Trixie had confined me to Canterlot for a month, therefore I missed it when the map table sent Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie on a mission to Griffonstone. I suppose it’s a good thing that it didn’t summon me too. Heaven knows how I would have convinced the G&PT to let me go. Thanks to Twilight insisting that they take photos of the ‘glorious’ griffon city, I got to see how decayed the mountaintop capital had become. No wonder the nation’s representatives were so often at the Canterlot court – they were always after some deal to bring in the bits, and they probably ate better here than back home. I wondered if the Equestrian griffons were aware of how low their brethren had sunk. Still, if what Pinkie and Rainbow had told me was accurate, they might be on the upswing again at last. Job well done, guys.

I didn’t get the chance to congratulate them in person until after my time was served. Crimson Boulder had ensured that I didn’t sneak off to Ponyville. While he was quite prepared to go out to the bar or club with me and Steady Flight, if I even gave the impression that I wanted to visit the girls, my genial buddy very quickly became an unsympathetic duty-bound Royal Guard. Princess Trixie made it crystal clear that her commands superseded any summons from a mystical object, even with the complicity of her fellow diarch. Social visits were right out for now.

During the royalty-imposed timeout, Trixie ordered me to address a deficiency in my learning. While I had taken a very basic self-defense class in high school, that didn’t translate at all to my current form. Add that to my overall lack of coordination and that made me one of the most vulnerable stallions in Canterlot.

Twilight added offensive and defensive spells to the magic training sessions, Ebon Flight and Easy Breeze began familiarizing me with aerial tactics and weapons, and Crimson Boulder was responsible for teaching me hoof-to-hoof combat. The latter two subjects included lessons in both my stallion and pegacorn forms.

By royal order, the enclosed Canterlot Comet Stadium was cleared out for the two hours before midnight, Monday through Thursday. Whenever Twilight was in town, she joined me for aerial and hoof-to-hoof training. Today, however, it was just Crimson Boulder and myself.

“You know, Mark, all of the moves and techniques that I show you are just ‘B.S.’, as you call it. Learning them is not a bad thing, but unfortunately, it creates a sense of complacency. That is not what keeps you alive in combat.” He twirled a short spear on one hoof.

I pricked my ears. “You have my attention.”

He pointed the spear at one of the ponykin practice dummies, a hulking form made of some extremely dense wood and heavily chipped from years of use. “For example, run over and apply a knockout blow to that enemy. Go.”

I took off in a gallop, which I could now do thanks to sessions with Twilight. She had used her levitation skills to keep me from falling while I repeatedly switched between my pegasus and pegacorn form. After only a couple of hours spread out over a week, the muscle memory sunk in and I got it. Still couldn’t corner at speed, but I could live with that for now. Similar attempts with flying hadn’t worked, apparently because of the way magic needs to be channeled to precise locations in each wing. My pegasus form was only developing this awareness in slow increments that wouldn't be rushed.

I quickly reached the wooden form and struck it with a hoof at the nerve cluster in the neck as I had been taught.

“Think fast!”

I whirled around to so see the spear hurtling towards me. I froze and it hit midway along my barrel, nearly knocking me off my hooves. Looking down, I saw it had bounced off of my side and what I had assumed were metal blades were actually foam, now deformed from the impact. The tip glowed slightly as it reformed into its previous shape.

Crimson trotted up next to me. “Why didn’t you change to your Marklestia form to stop it?”

I looked back at him. “First of all, ‘Ow.’ Secondly…” I paused as I thought it over, seeing the problem immediately. “…I always double and triple-check who is around before doing so.”

He nodded. “I don’t want you to get that healed. It needs to be your reminder that when it comes to defending yourself and those around you, act first and worry about the ramifications later. I’ll be testing you at times you don’t expect: just after you wake up, in the castle hallways, strolling around Ponyville, etc. Sometimes you will see me, often times you will not.” He picked up the spear and twirled it again. “There might even be some new ponies who need to be sworn to secrecy, but that’s the price I’m willing to pay to get your head screwed on straight. As you are right now, I’m in more danger of dying in my sleep than suffering a scratch from you. Until you are a threat to do more than just make messes and stinks, I’m not going to be satisfied.”

I frowned then looked back at the reminder Crimson had given me. It was going to turn into an ugly bruise. “The Zen of situational awareness.”

He blinked. “I don’t know what that is, but if it means ‘mindset,’ then yes. Now then. Do you know why you aren’t sparring against opponents yet?”

I smirked, recalling how a Zen Masters taught through experience rather than just words. “Wouldn’t it be easier to show you?”

He looked me in the eyes for a moment then nodded.

I turned into Marklestia, grabbed the ponykin in my magic and threw it into the air to arc down on top of a second practice form. Both shattered under the impact. I felt a sharp pain in my side.

Crimson had poked me with the tip of the spear – directly on my bruise. “Don’t stand still. You might not get the same strength in your levitation, but you need to not be a stationary target.”

I ground my teeth as I absorbed the pain. In front of us, the enchantment placed on the wooden ponykins activated and they began to reform. “Now you’re going to tell me I could have shielded myself or, better yet, paid attention to what you were doing.”

“Exactly. You need to be able to react instantly to your opponent doing something unexpected. Far too many ponies have died with a look of surprise on their faces.” He smiled. “For a soft and flabby mare that’s known more for the power of your flatulence, you are quick on the uptake.”

I growled. “Anyway, I got a request from Shining Armor. I need to experience the feedback that happens when my shield is shattered. Is now a good time?”

He tossed the spear aside and shrugged. “As good as any.” I immediately raised my physical and magical defense shield, rather than learning the same lesson twice. I repositioned myself and faced him directly. Crimson gave me an amused smile. “You’ll need to put some strength into it, though. Think you can do that, Mark?”

I smirked. Two could play the goading game. “Show me what you’ve got … Corporal.”

He turned around and gave the golden barrier a solid kick with one hoof. Ripples formed from the point of impact but they soon dissipated. That kick would have probably broken the ribs of anything but an earth pony if it had landed, but as Shining Armor had said, I was fairly decent at this particular spell. I tapped a hoof impatiently. “I’m waiting.”

A series of progressively harder kicks followed. I could feel the magical energy drawn from me spike with each impact. Finally, a buck from both hooves caused cracks to appear which rapidly faded away. I had been keeping my fetlock-band in view and saw it glow slightly, indicating the last blow had drawn magic from me at the fastest rate my band would allow. I sneered. “Come on, Private! Stop just showing off your plot and put your back into it!”

Crimson’s eyes narrowed and I saw him push backward from his front hooves, getting ready to transfer the momentum to his rear legs. I quickly switched to the other shield that Shining Armor taught me. Or should I say the only other shield spell where I showed some proficiency.

Immediately after his hooves connected, the shield wall bounced. Crimson shot away from me at high speed, all the energy from his kick returned to him. Cracks spread across the surface of the bubble swiftly and it collapsed. I felt the magic from the shield force its way painfully back into my horn and I yelped.

After holding my head for a second, I started trotting, remembering the lesson about not being a sitting duck. I tried to raise the first shield only to generate a headache. I switched to a canter then to a moderate gallop. So my physical abilities were not affected. Good thing to know.

By the time I got to the wall on the other side of the stadium, I could hold a matchstick spell without flinching, but that was it. I used it to illuminate the hole in the wall as I carefully stepped through. After following the trail of debris through an office, a janitor’s closet, and a locker room, I found Crimson covered in tile from the collapsed wall on the far side of a gym shower.

I looked behind me and used my magic to flick on the switch that controlled the overhead light orb. It took a few tries because apparently the maximum strength of my magic was decreased as I recovered. Curious but I guess that made sense. Plus, another reason not to let my shield break in combat.

I turned to face the source of a moan coming in front of me. “Not bad for a flabby mare not good for anything but messes and stinks, wouldn’t you say?”

There was a pause in the groans followed by a weak “Good one.”

I trotted away, calling over my shoulder. “By the way, you are in the mares’ shower. Come back over to the correct side when you are ready to clean yourself up.”

It took overtime pay and a team of construction ponies, but everything was repaired before the stadium opened for business early the next afternoon. The one addition was a small brass plaque I had added to a certain wall in the mare’s shower stall:

Crimson Boulder

Got His Plot Handed To Him Here

Maybe someday I’d tell him. Until then, he would just have to wonder about the smirks and knowing looks mares would occasionally give him.

The exile was over at last, and I was on the next train to Ponyville as soon as Day Court was concluded on Friday. The scheduled departure was mere minutes afterwards, but I had already packed everything and Steady Flight had taken it all to the station where he waited for me and Crimson to arrive. I had already shamelessly bribed the stationmaster to give me a few minutes extra time if I was delayed. Sorry, fellow passengers! Not only did I want to see my friends, but I was itching for some mare action too. The only times I had taken my Marklestia form was when Twilight was giving me lessons in unicorn magic and combat training sessions. I just didn’t get to do any fun stuff. I fully intended to make up for lost time this weekend. Besides, Rarity had sent me a note to tell me she had the new fashion line-up ready. Twilight had already arranged with Pinkie for an evening of “frocks, food, and festivity”. I think they missed me too.

The good thing about the new fashions is that Rarity had promised me something special that she said I’d love to wear around the town. Considering the nature of the majority of her works, I found that possibility intriguing. Anyway, I hoped so because I wanted something really nice to wear at the wedding ceremony for Cranky Doodle and Matilda. I’m so glad that my punishment ended in time for me to attend that event. My friends had told me it had been the talk of Ponyville for weeks! The old curmudgeon had been positively sappy lately.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were waiting to greet us when we arrived at the Ponyville station. Dash informed me that Twilight’s guards had been socializing with the town’s citizens and as a result had found out about my alternate form. Fluttershy assured me that Twilight had sworn them to secrecy. Personally, I was ambivalent. It certainly made going to Friendship Castle less of a hassle, but it just added more ponies to the growing list of ones “in the know.” I admit I was a little exasperated, wondering to myself who would be next?

As soon as the train had left and it was safe to do so, I switched to my pegacorn form and the three of us and Steady flew off to Twilight’s castle, leaving Crimson to bring our luggage. So not sorry about that. As long as Steady and the two Element Bearers were with me, Crimson couldn’t complain about me being unguarded, and I was done with my penance.

Rarity and Pinkie were putting the final touches on their preparations for the evening’s entertainment, but it was Spike’s cooking that most interested me right then. I’d left Canterlot without having dinner, and I had quite an appetite. Not to mention that as a pegacorn, I was twice as hungry! The meal was a great time to catch up on what we had been doing. Twilight had passed on the highlights such as the visit to Griffonstone, but there were plenty of little things that good friends like to share. Pinkie’s desserts capped off the meal delightfully before Rarity dragged me off to prepare for her latest fashion show.

After we entered the boutique, Crimson waited in the main room while Rarity asked to speak with me in the kitchen. Once there, Rarity turned around and looked pointedly at my side. “Mark. Darling. Why are you running around with that ugly bruise on your side? It just won’t do. Stand still for a moment and I’ll take care of that.”

I held up a hoof to stop her. “That is the result of my self-defense training. I am supposed to let it heal naturally as a reminder of what not to do in certain situations.”

The fashionista gave me a very level glare. “And was this your idea or your guard’s?”

I blinked. “It was his, but I agreed to it.”

She smiled and raised her head. “If you’ll excuse me for just a moment, please.”

She trotted out and was back in ten seconds flat. “There we go. No problem. Your dear hoof-to-hoof combat instructor agreed that I should heal you up. Stand still, please.”

Before I could say anything to protest, Rarity was aiming a pulsating beam of magic at my bruise. It shrank visibly as I watched. I was perplexed. “Rarity, how exactly did you get him to agree so quickly?”

“Nothing easier, darling. I simply informed him that his authority over your actions ended when it interfered with my livelihood.” She glanced up to look me in the eyes. “Honestly, Mark. You do need to learn how a mare talks to a stallion when she knows she is right. Saves all sorts of time and heartache.”

Her horn stopped glowing and I looked at my barrel. As good as new. I smiled back at her. “You truly are an amazing mare, Rarity. And how exactly did you get so good at healing magic? I don’t think the nurses at the castle are this capable, and I’ve seen them on multiple occasions.” I winced, remembering the end of many of my flight lessons.

She snorted. “Did you forget that Sweetie Belle is a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders? More often than not, their schemes end up with the three of them in a row right here in the kitchen, waiting for their turn for me to fix their scratches, scrapes, and bruises. Outside of wartime, I don’t think there are any unicorns who get more practice than I do.” She lifted her head and smiled. “Now then, off to where the true magic happens!”

We then trotted to her fitting room. To my surprise, the unicorn didn’t immediately bring out her latest designs to start fitting me with one. Instead, she said, “Darling, there’s been a minor change in plans. Now, I would not dream of imposing on your desire to remain relatively anonymous outside of Ponyville, but the fact of the matter is that too many ponies know about you and rumors spread.”

“Are you saying that somepony has found out about me?” I asked.

“Deduced the truth, actually.”

“Who?”

“Lord Fancy Pants.”

My eyebrows raised in surprise. Not who I expected, but then again, he was a particularly astute individual and one of the few nobles I truly respected. “So, what has that got to do with our plans?”

She gave me a pointed look. “You do know who his wife is, don’t you, dear?”

Oh. Of course. “Fleur de Lis, the retired fashion model. Are you saying that she’s here?”

“Fancy Pants begged a personal favor on behalf of his wife. She only retired from modelling because she could no longer face the public due to constant harassment from the noble mares. As she was a commoner who married into nobility, she was seen as an inferior—”

I held up a hoof to stop Rarity. “Say no more. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Trixie and I never miss a chance to try to bring those pompous fools down a peg or two. So – Fleur. What about her?”

“Fancy Pants brought Fleur here to meet with you. He hopes that you can help draw her out of the shell she’s withdrawn into.”

“I’m not exactly a psychologist, Rares. Are you sure I can help?”

Rarity shrugged. “Neither am I, darling, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t go the extra mile to try to help her.”

She was right, and I’d be ashamed of myself if I didn’t try too. “Okay. How do you want to go about this?”

The fashionista smiled. “While designing clothes is my skill, Fleur’s is modelling them. Tonight, you are doing a fashion shoot. You’re going to show her what you’ve got, and if I know my mares, she will want to fix what you’re doing wrong.”

Suddenly, it clicked. “You want me to channel some of my klutzy side, don’t you? Do you know how hard that’s going to be? The magical transformation changes more than my looks, y’know?”

“Believe me, Mark, I realize that you’re the epitome of grace in this form, but do try to fake it. Also, trotting fashions onto the runway is quite different from showing them and yourself off for the camera. Now, I do believe that we have been keeping our guests waiting for long enough. Are you ready to meet them?”

I nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Rarity smiled and walked over to the door. Upon opening it, I saw Twilight waiting outside. “She’s ready,” the unicorn told the alicorn. Twilight nodded and left. Rarity then closed the door and came back to me. “We have a couple of minutes before they arrive, but we can’t have you meet them completely unadorned. I have this perfectly divine vest that I designed for smart casual occasions which will work splendidly for this first meeting.”

Rarity was back to her normal fashionista mode. She took the item she had mentioned off the hanger. It was pastel blue of the same shade as one of the colors in my mane, tastefully trimmed in gold and tiny gemstones. Of course, Rarity’s idea of ‘casual’ was a lot more lavish than mine, but I expected nothing less from her. She artfully dressed me in it in time for the return of Twilight.

The purple mare paused in the doorway and met Rarity’s eyes. Upon getting a nod of confirmation, Twilight fully opened the door and said to the ponies out of sight, “Please come in – Mark Wells is ready to see you now.”

“Thank you, Princess Sparkle,” Fancy Pants said as he followed Twilight inside, closely accompanied by the willowy mare that was his wife, Fleur de Lis. They both paused as they caught sight of me, and I gave them what I hoped was my best welcoming smile.

“Oh, my! Knowing something and seeing it are two different things,” Fancy said as he gazed at me. He shook himself and then said, “Please forgive my rudeness, Lady Wells. In spite of everything, I am still struck by your resemblance to our missing Princess Celestia.”

“Nopony was more surprised than me when the transformation first happened,” I replied.

“If it wasn’t for your cutie mark, I would have been hard pressed not to believe that you weren’t our Diarch in hiding.” He turned to gesture to his wife who had been diffidently standing back from our meeting. “Come, dear – you’ve met Mark Wells before, albeit as a stallion at the time.”

Fleur hesitantly stepped forward and curtseyed. “A pleasure to meet you again, Your Highness.” This was by far the most words I had heard from the former model. At previous social occasions, I had seen her nod or shake her head but only speak to her husband, and then, only with whispers in his ear.

It took an immense effort for me to not roll my eyes. “Lady Fleur, I’m not a princess, nor am I even an alicorn. I’m a pegacorn who resembles that royal mare in looks only. Please, just relax and treat me as a friend.” I really didn’t expect to be the one doing all the reassuring. Considering how I felt the first time I was in a situation like this.

Rarity said, “Perhaps if we get started, we can all begin to relax and enjoy ourselves?”

I knew that the white unicorn was eager to show off her latest designs, but her suggestion made sense anyway. “Yes, let’s do that. Twilight, could you tell the others that we will be starting soon? Rarity and I have to prepare for the first outfit.”

Twilight nodded. “Please take a seat, Fancy and Fleur. I’ll have Spike bring in drinks for us all. I believe we have a nice hard cider set aside for special occasions.”

She left and Rarity and I went backstage to get ready. I stopped in my tracks when I got a good look at the first fashion that consisted of silver studs and delicate chains that decorated black pants, a vest, and straps. “Rarity, is that leather?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself, Mark?” she replied coyly.

I walked up to the clothes rack and felt the material with my hoof. The grain looked spot on. It felt cool in just the right way and the weight was right, at least the parts that didn’t have studs or other adornments. The tooling and grooves looked correct as well. I bent the corner of the outfit to see how it creased. More supple than average, but this application was not supposed to be hardened leather. I ran my hoof along the edge then looked up. “This is a bit too uniform here. When leather is burnished, some amount of imperfections show through.”

Rarity nodded. “I’ll take it as a compliment that your expert eye took so long to recognize that this is imitation leather.”

She began applying the first adhesive swatch over my left cutie mark. “I’m always on the lookout for the next big thing in fashion, and that includes new fabrics. Add to that a certain rule-breaking mare kindling my interest in leather…” She paused and gave what was supposed to be a disapproving look which just made me smile. “…and I went to the yearly agricultural products expo at Bridlemount University with numerous designs in my head but no way to realize them.” The fashionista waved a hoof airily. “There was nothing I hadn’t seen before on the convention floor, but one of the postgraduate students had a display set up in the hallway. The young minotaur heifer had devised a means to create imitation leather from the fibers extracted from pineapple leaves. The fabric takes dye well, breathes, and possesses sturdiness comparable to the real thing.”

Rarity moved to my other side with the remaining patch. “Despite creating this wondrous material from what would have otherwise been a waste product, she could not get funding for more research. I proposed that she start a business with myself providing the venture capital in exchange for a percentage of the company. I also have exclusive rights for the fabric’s use in the fashion industry for the upcoming season.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Just for the fall season? Why not keep it as a Carousel Boutique exclusive?”

She smiled in a way that reminded me of Rainbow Dash. “Now why would I do that, darling, when I could have other designers paying me to use the material instead?”

I chuckled. “You are going to make a mint, Rarity.”

She shrugged and stood up, now finished with the remaining patch. “We can only hope so, but the first step is a successful photo shoot tonight.”

What is the purpose of clothing to a species that needs none? How can anypony make a career of designing such useless things? Because they serve a purpose that has no relationship to protection as they were to humans. Almost every item of pony couture was created for the purpose of highlighting an aspect of the pony who wore it, and tonight’s line-up was no exception. Rarity had always dreamed of bringing out Celestia’s myriad facets, and with me, she finally had the means to accomplish that.

Sometimes I wonder why Rarity puts so much time and effort into these designs. For many of them, there is exactly one pony who could pull them off – me. I could see how some of them could be adapted to suit customers of more regular proportions, but that still left many that were ultimately going to languish in my wardrobe for the rare occasion that I would actually find a good reason to wear them. If these fashion parades were more public, they would certainly be a vehicle by which she could exhibit her design skills. Come to think of it, now that the citizens of Ponyville all knew about me, perhaps that would be a good idea. Rarity had done so much for me, so it was only right that I returned the favors in any way that I could. Still, that left quite a lot that would only ever be suitable for one non-paying client. She had absolutely refused to consider selling them to me, stating the pleasure and gratification of my modeling her designs for the alicorn I resembled. Of course, I was not blind to the fact that Rarity was smitten with me. I just didn’t know yet if I wanted to do something more about that. Ten months as a pony in Equestria were still not enough for me to be totally comfortable with all their ways and mores. But I could repay her with doing my best to show off her creations in their most favorable light. Ironically, I was being asked to do less than my best for this session. It was for a good cause though, and I hoped that this plan worked.

As per Rarity’s instructions, I waited in the side room while she told the audience the history behind the fabric she used. At her cue, I trotted proudly onto the stage. I heard the oohs and aahs from the audience and pranced around the runway so everypony could get a look at all sides of the outfit. I heard “C’est magnifique” from Fleur and nodded happily her way. She and Fancy had seats in the front row, just to the side of where Rarity stood with her camera and tripod. The Elements were in the second row, again reclining on their lounge chairs.

I had quite a bit of pep to my step and felt great… quite a departure from my first modelling experience. I stopped on a raised black platform set in front of a dark gray backdrop. I put on a cheesy smile and lifted one foreleg awkwardly. I looked straight ahead and froze in place.

Rarity asked me to turn to the side and I complied, twisting my neck around to look at the camera. This time I raised a rear hoof. I was then asked to stand on my back hooves while facing the camera. I put on a determined face, making it look like I was trying hard to keep my balance.

Before Rarity could take the shot, I heard “Non! Non! This will not do!”

I looked down to see a frowning Fleur De Lis up on the stage directly below me. “Mark, I am sorry to say, but you do not know what you are doing.”

She waved me down to her level and I complied. “To model for the camera is not the same as walking the runway. You must build a relationship with the photographer. You will become what they ask of you moment by moment. Do you understand?” I nodded.

She moved back to position herself beside Rarity. “Now raise your right front leg. Higher. Now stick your left back leg out behind you. Relax a bit. Keep your head straight. Good.” Her horn lit and I felt my mane and tail being repositioned. “Now for your expression. You are looking to the left across the city plaza and see a good friend you haven’t met for far too long. You are happily looking forward to talking with them again… Quelle jolie jument! Just like that! Keep yourself just like that!”

I felt the platform begin to rotate slowly and I dutifully kept my body and expression firmly in place.

In hindsight, I probably didn’t need to go out of my way to do a terrible job at the first few shots. There was so much to modelling that I didn’t know that doubtless Fleur would have jumped in regardless. Was she successful? The photos spoke for themselves.

I loved the first outfit and after the photo shoot was done, I asked Rarity if I could model it around town for the rest of the day. She didn’t need much convincing and soon everypony was heading off to Café Hay to celebrate.

Savoir Faire seated us in their large private dining room where Fleur held forth with tales about the colorful characters she had met in the fashion industry. I was both intrigued and slightly scared at the prospect of meeting Photo Finish one day.

Fleur ended by raising a toast to Rarity. “Your new line will be magnifique, madame.” She then turned to her husband. “And this means I am officially ending my retirement. Ponies must see how beautiful Lady Rarity can make everypony.”

Lord Fancy Pants gave me a smile and mouthed, “Thank you.”

Mission accomplished!

Nopony was particularly surprised when I turned up to breakfast the next morning dressed in my new favorite outfit. I felt so empowered by it, and it fitted my personality as snugly as it did my body. The fact that it also hid my ‘mare bits’ finally satisfied that little piece of human in me that always felt naked and ashamed. I stepped out of Twilight’s castle with a spring in my step and confidence in my heart.

To say that it caught the attention of the townsponies would be a serious understatement. I think Crimson Boulder who was shadowing me today nearly had a heart attack to see so many converging on me all at once. I got quite a giggle out of seeing his expression, especially as the mares totally ignored his pleas for them not to crowd me. I added “show off great fashion” to my mental list of ways to render a Royal Guard ineffective without harming them. Rarity had accompanied me to gauge the reactions of the locals and she was soon virtually bursting with pride at the compliments sent her way. I foresaw a surge in patronage for the Carousel Boutique in the near future.

The Flower Sisters normally insisted on giving me a posy, nosegay, or boutonniere to go with whatever outfit that I was wearing on the day, but Roseluck said, “Forgive us, Your Highness, but anything that we could give you would detract from your marvelous ensemble.” Yeah, they still insisted on considering me royalty, and while I did nothing to encourage it, I had long ago stopped trying to persuade them otherwise. To them and a few others in Ponyville, any alicorn was a princess, even a faux one. The fact that they thought they couldn’t improve on perfection made me feel absolutely marvelous. Today was a good day.

It was also a busy day. So many ponies were preparing for the wedding scheduled for later that morning. I had made sure to order my gift in plenty of time and I merely had to go collect it. I encountered Cranky Doodle along the way and greeted him.

“Looking forward to the big event, Cranky,” I said with my best smile.

“Dunno what all the fuss is about,” he replied dourly.

If he wasn’t a donkey, I would have said that was a bit flippant, but I could tell that the burro was pleased despite his demeanor.

I had never seen Quills and Sofas so crowded. Davenport used his business connections to arrange for odd items from all over Equestria and beyond to be brought in by rail or by post. Add to that several ponies who had left their shopping for gifts until the last moment and the storekeeper and his assistant were kept very busy checking off items from the Bridal Registry. I waited patiently, both Rarity and I chatting with some of the customers to help pass the time and relieve the pressure from the staff. Eventually, I was able to collect my gift and I tucked it under my wing for safekeeping.

The next stop was the spa where both of us had an appointment for manestyling. While I could control the length and even the color of my mane to some extent, I had neither the magic nor the skill to do anything more than put it in a ponytail, so this occasion called for professionals. However, as we approached the establishment, our attention was drawn to screams in the distance.

“What do you suppose that is?” I asked, looking in the direction of the sound.

“I have no idea, darling, but it can’t be good. Can you see anything?”

As a matter of fact, I could. My superior pegasus vision spotted a large flying creature dive-bombing some ponies at the edge of town. I relayed that fact to Rarity.

“Oh dear,” she replied. “It seems that I must postpone my visit. Do go on ahead, Mark, and let Aloe know that I may be delayed.”

“Would you like my help, Rarity?”

“Thank you, darling, but no. This looks like a job for the girls and me.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Am I not one of the girls now?”

She blushed. “You have a point, but this is our responsibility. Besides, our earth pony friend here seems unlikely to let you go.”

I glanced at Crimson Boulder who gave me a stern glare. Nope – not getting past him today. Not unless there was a genuine need anyway. And as Rarity had pointed out, it was my friends’ responsibility to watch over this town. “Okay, I’ll let Aloe know.”

Rarity cantered away and I resumed heading for the spa where I was greeted with the usual enthusiasm. Somehow, I was unable to talk Crimson Boulder into getting a hooficure. With a regretful flick of my tail, I left him in the waiting room to read fashion and gossip magazines. I was directed to a corner of the main room where there was a variety of tools and products related to the cutting and styling of manes. I saw Matilda Donkey was already there getting hers done, but my eyes were quickly drawn to the other occupant of the room who was currently lounging in the hot tub. Despite the size of the tub, he barely fit in it. I say ‘he’ because his huge moustache would have looked odd on a female sea serpent. I stopped and gaped in awe.

“Oh my! Is that Celestia I see?” the serpent asked in a voice I definitely would not have associated with creatures of his kind. “I’d heard that you and your sister had disappeared.”

“Oh, no, sir,” Aloe responded. “This is Mark Wells. While she bears a strong resemblance to Princess Celestia, she is in fact unrelated. Mark, this is Steven Magnet, Cranky Doodle’s friend.”

“Stephen… Magnet…? Just when I thought nothing could surprise me, I meet someone like you.”

“Oh, I know!” the serpent replied enthusiastically. “Cranky and I met years ago and had such fantastic adventures together. We made such a great team.”

“Wait!” Matilda said, her eyes wide and staring. “You’re Steven Magnet. Cranky’s best friend?”

“And Best Beast,” he replied proudly. “I am so looking forward to seeing him finally getting hitched to his childhood sweetheart.”

As I allowed Aloe to guide me into a chair in preparation for my manestyling, I said, “If you don’t mind, Steven, please keep my current form a secret. The folks around town know, but very few others.”

The sea serpent made the universal “zipper-across-the-lips” gesture and I nodded gratefully.

“Sounds like you have a lot of stories to tell about your and Cranky’s experiences. I, for one, am terribly curious.”

Steven looked pleased and his eyes took on a faraway look as he reminisced. “It all started when I met him in the Hayseed Swamp while he was searching for his beloved Matilda…”

It was with a greater appreciation of Cranky’s past and effeminate sea monsters that I left the spa after my manestyle was completed. Crimson and I found Steady Flight waiting for me outside, apparently keeping an eye on the situation. It was fairly obvious that the problem that had drawn Rarity away was still unresolved due to the fact that she had not turned up at the spa. I could see the disturbance had proceeded further into town, and I wondered why my friends hadn’t dealt with it yet.

“What’s going on?” I asked Steady.

“The Element Bearers are trying to herd the bugbear out of town without harming it,” he replied.

“Bugbear? There’s seriously a monster called that?” I asked incredulously.

“See for yourself,” he said as he pointed out that it was headed our way.

I could see Twilight zapping it and Rainbow Dash dive-bombing it, but the beast seemed very durable and merely annoyed by the attacks. It eventually passed by us literally across the street from me. Despite the fact that Steady and Crimson placed themselves protectively in front of me, looking over their shoulders I clearly saw what looked like a cross between a six-limbed panda and a wasp fly by. A literal bug-bear. I should have known better than to question it. Despite the minimal effect that my six friends were having, they nevertheless seemed to have the situation under control. What was more surprising was the general lack of concern from the majority of the townsponies.

“Does this sort of thing happen often around here?” I asked.

“Ponyville’s proximity to the Everfree Forest makes it a regular target for creatures from there,” Crimson Boulder replied. “The citizens have gotten pretty blasé about it for the most part.”

I looked about me as my ears swiveled to catch snatches of conversation. As far as I could tell, most were calmly avoiding the action while those who were frantically dashing about seemed more concerned with some problem or another regarding the wedding than the bugbear. I shrugged. Not my problem, apparently.

I heard a musical “Hi, Mark!” from behind me and turned to see Steven exit the spa with a huge grin on his face.

While Crimson and Steady scrambled to get in front of me, I waved and called out in matching sing-song tones, “Don’t be late to the wedding, now!”

He rolled his eyes, which given their size was pretty impressive. “As if I would dream of it!” He then slithered off towards town hall.

I turned back to Crimson who was still very much on edge. “If you see more of those creatures from the Everfree, let me know. Personally, I think it’s just your imagination getting the better of you.”

That got his wide-eyed attention while Steady got a badly concealed chuckle at his expense.

“Let’s go kill some time at the café,” I suggested. I would have proposed the pub, but it was still a bit early in the day for alcohol, and there was sure to be plenty at the wedding reception later. The three of us ordered coffee and cake, and we chatted with the other patrons. Well, mostly me. My clothing was still the big eye-catcher. God, I loved this outfit!

The time came for us to start heading for the town hall where the wedding ceremony was being held. It was a little early yet, but it was a good opportunity to socialize with the other guests before the nuptials. We had just exited from the café and turned down the street when a series of shouts and screams could be heard heading our way from behind us. I could see the continuing efforts to deal with the bugbear in front of us, so that wasn’t what was causing the new disturbance.

Steady suddenly yelled, “Get up into the air!”

Without hesitation, I unfurled my wings and flung myself into the sky, closely followed by Steady. When he came to an immediate hover, I followed his example before giving him a puzzled look. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“Land shark,” he replied, pointing a hoof down the street. “It’s been attracted to the violence in town. That fight’s been going on too long.”

I stared in utter disbelief as I saw a fin parting the earth, leaving a V-shaped ripple behind it. “Oh, come on! You’ve gotta be shitting me?!”

“I wish I was. Large crowds normally deter them, but whip up enough fear and they smell it and come charging in.”

Not quite what I meant, but that didn’t dispel the reality in front of me. “What about Crimson?” I asked.

Steady grinned. “There’s a reason why land sharks normally avoid Ponyville. The population is dominated by earth ponies. Watch Crimson and you’ll learn why.”

Crimson Boulder had moved into the center of the street directly in line with the path of the shark fin. As it drew close, the stallion reared up on his hind legs and then flung himself down again, slamming his forehooves down with brutal force. A shockwave rippled the ground and collided with the underground menace, making it burst to the surface. It frantically tried to submerge itself again as Crimson bore down upon it. How such a creature could ‘swim’ in solid earth escaped me, but then again, magical beasts seemed to do the impossible on a regular basis here in Equestria.

The shark went swimming off in another direction and Crimson went chasing after it. Steady and I followed cautiously from above as the earth pony continued to herd it towards the edge of town. We were only halfway there though when a strange cacophony assaulted our ears. A bizarre combination of dubstep and cello, if my ears didn’t deceive me. It grew louder and closer before it burst over the apex of a hill, clearing the road by several feet, and not incidentally jumping over the startled shark. It wasn’t the only one.

I gawked as Vinyl Scratch and her mobile DJ equipment came hurtling down the street with Octavia Melody poised unflappably on one of the speakers. I watched in disbelief as they maneuvered around corners and started accumulating surprised ponies as they plummeted further into the center of town. To my horror, I saw them heading straight for Matilda accompanying Mr. and Mrs. Cake, a towering wedding cake on the back of the stallion. As quickly as I could, I lit up my horn and cast a spell. I couldn’t stop the collision, but I was able to ameliorate it. Everypony landed safely on top of the runaway DJ gear with Carrot Cake standing at the top of a pyramid of ponies, the intact cake held out of harm’s way above his head. Not quite what I had aimed to achieve, but I was no Twilight Sparkle. Then, as they rushed towards an impending collision with the town hall, the wheels of their impromptu ride hit something on the road and everypony went flying. There were far too many for me to deal with, and I could only watch as ponies plunged through the air and… safely passed through the doors? I watched in total disbelief as each pony landed softly in a chair, while Vinyl and Octavia ended up exactly where they were supposed to play for the wedding. What the buck?

Then I heard the soft sound of laughter echoing from every direction. Of course. Only the Master of Chaos could have pulled that one off. Kudos to him. First, though, we still had a shark to deal with. Crimson resumed herding the creature. Every time the shark looked like it wanted to head back into town, the earth stallion sent another shockwave its way. When it finally reached the outskirts, I fired up a spell that I had just recently learned. I targeted a line of earth with a freeze ray and the moisture in the earth turned it into a solid wall. When the shark tried to swim through it, it bashed its nose against an unyielding blockade. After several unsuccessful attempts, it finally gave up and swam off in the direction of the Everfree Forest. Our job done, we headed back to the town hall.

I knew if we didn’t get a hustle on, we would miss the start of Cranky and Matilda’s wedding ceremony. I poured on the speed and reached the town hall just as Doctor Whooves and Derpy were entering. Considering how empty the streets were except for my friends still tangling with the annoyingly persistent bugbear, I figured that we had to be the last to arrive. I landed at the entry and nearly tripped on the long scarf that the Doctor was trailing. Something awfully familiar about that, but I didn’t have the time to worry about it now. I hastened inside and looked around for a seat. To my relief, there seemed to be a few still available near some foals, so I headed over there. I was puzzled by the way they were all bunched together and staring at something. I followed their line of sight and was slightly stunned by the sight of a small changeling drone calmly sitting on a chair.

Not having experienced the invasion of Canterlot, all I knew of them were from rather dry reports and a history lesson. I found its appearance to be quite fascinating with its glossy chitin and glowing blue eyes. The fangs were a little daunting, but there was no hint of menace when it looked at me curiously. I shrugged. If it was here peacefully, I wasn’t about to stir up trouble for the bride and groom. I sat down in the chair beside the changeling, placing myself between it and the worried foals. The colts and fillies all calmed down after that. One benefit of being a local celebrity was that I inspired confidence in ponies, and if I looked to be unconcerned, then they felt able to relax too. Crimson wasn’t impressed, but a sharp look and a shake of my head made him hold his peace. He settled down in the chair on the other side of the changeling, his eyes glued on the potential threat.

“Hi, I’m Mark Wells,” I said to the little drone.

The changeling blinked and hesitated, perhaps surprised that I was talking to it. “Hello,” was the eventual reply. “My name is Thorax, but everypony has been calling me Kevin.”

“Why would they call you that?”

“Mostly because nopony ever stops to ask my real name.”

“Oh. That makes sense, I suppose. May I ask why you’re here, Thorax?”

“To watch the wedding ceremony, of course. Lots of love in the air to feast upon,” he replied, licking his fangs.

“That’s right – you eat love. But that isn’t what I meant. I was asking why you’re in Ponyville.”

“It’s where I crash-landed after being expelled from Canterlot during the invasion.”

I lifted a curious eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little young to be a fighter?”

“Not really. I just made myself smaller to look less threatening.”

“Ah, yes – shapeshifter. Still, it’s a wonder the townsponies didn’t throw you into jail or something.”

“News of the invasion didn’t reach Ponyville until the next day. The Cutie Mark Crusaders found me lying injured at the edge of the Everfree Forest and patched me up and kept me hidden. They were trying to get a cutie mark in field medicine or something. We became friends and I hung around with them in disguise as a foal. They even made me a Cutie Mark Crusader too because I was a blank flank. I pointed out that changelings don’t get cutie marks, but it didn’t seem to matter to them.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course not. Nothing as simple as that ever slowed them down. Anyway, if you were in disguise, how come you’re not now, and Ponyville’s citizens know what you are?”

“I’m not an infiltrator, so I was careless and kept being seen while in my natural form. Ponies got really nervous when they saw me, but eventually they got used to me being around. Now if somepony new sees me, the others shrug and say, ‘That’s just Kevin’.”

“You can’t blame them for being worried – the invasion was hardly a trivial matter. Lots of innocent ponies got hurt that day,” I pointed out.

“I know, and I’m really sorry about that, but I had no choice. Queen Chrysalis ordered us to attack and we had to obey. Some didn’t mind, but I hated it. I’ve despised violence since I was a nymph and other nymphs would pick on me. Only my brother ever made them back off.”

I smiled. “And there’s the other side of the coin. I’ve only ever learned about the changeling invasion from the pony perspective, but there are always two sides to a story. Seems to me that I could learn a lot more about changelings if we could have a chat later.”

“If you’d like that, I would be happy to tell you what I know. I’m only a common drone though.”

I smirked. “A drone living peacefully among ponies that still fear him a little, if those foals are any indication. Nothing too common about that.”

He gave me a small, sad smile. “Some of the adults told their foals about the bad things changelings have done and use me as a threat, but I just want to be friends.”

“Come with me to the castle afterwards and let’s see if we can do something about that. Oops – the ceremony is starting.”

“Dearly beloved,” the mayor was saying. “We are gathered here today to join these two in matrimony. As I look around this room, I can only imagine how uncomfortable Cranky must be.”

We all chuckled. Good one, Mayor.

Fortunately, the Element Bearers had arrived just after the mayor’s speech and right before vows were exchanged. The ceremony was brief but poignant, and the flameless fireworks were a lovely touch. Thorax looked a little bloated by the time it was all over. Even for a non-empath like me, the love in the air was practically tangible, and not just from the bride and groom. Looking around, I saw many couples hugging and cuddling, and for the first time in my life, I wondered what it would be like to have a special someone too.

I watched out for the Cutie Mark Crusaders as the rest of the guests settled in for the wedding reception. I suspected that they would try to smuggle Thorax out after the ceremony once they saw that he’d let his disguise slip again. I was not disappointed. Scootaloo made a transparent attempt to distract me while the other two tried to make off with the slightly giddy changeling. I foiled them by sweeping the changeling under one wing and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom under the other. I then headed for the door with the pegasus filly hot on my heels, protesting about the mistreatment of her friends, and a scowling Royal Guard grumpily bringing up the rear.

I paused outside where it was quieter and more private. “Stop worrying so much, Scoots. We’re just heading over to Twilight’s castle to have a chat.”

“But, Mark! You know how Twilight feels about changelings!” Scootaloo objected.

“Yeah!” came a muffled agreement from under my wing. “We don’t want her to hurt our friend.”

“Have a little faith in me, girls. Thorax can’t just hang around here indefinitely with his status unresolved. Best to work things out while we have the opportunity.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Scootaloo replied uncertainly.

“Good.” I let Sweetie and Bloom out. “Go back inside and find Twilight. Tell her that I want to see her and the other Element Bearers back at the castle about a friendship problem. Give me a few minutes to get there first though. Knowing her, she’ll be so excited about dealing with something as Princess of Friendship that she might teleport right over. Hmm… Better tell her that I want to see you three in connection with the problem and that you’d rather walk there. I know you’ll all want to be there too.”

“Right!” Bloom declared. “Cutie Mark Crusader Friendship Makers!” She and the other two high-hoofed and charged inside.

“Thorax?”

“Yes, Mark Wells?” came the muffled response.

“Can you disguise yourself as a foal, please?”

“Okay.”

I felt a peculiar tingle as his magic worked, and I opened my wing to release him. A perfectly ordinary unicorn foal with a dark grey coat and deep blue mane stood there looking at me with innocent green eyes.

“Cute,” I said with a grin. “Come along, ‘Kevin’ – we’ve got to get to the castle.”

He looked at Crimson Boulder uncertainly.

“Don’t worry about him,” I reassured the changeling. “If he does anything rash, I’ll report him to the Captain of the Guard for mistreatment of a foal.”

“What?!” sputtered Crimson. “You can’t do that!”

I grinned as I turned to head off towards the castle. “Then stop frightening him with your expression. You’d think he was an assassin here to wipe out half the town with his evil changeling powers.”

“My what?!” Thorax protested.

“He could be!” Crimson insisted.

“Good thing I have a big, strong Royal Guard to protect this dainty mare, isn’t it?” I snarked.

“Ain’t nothing bucking dainty about you,” he grumbled.

I giggled and broke into a trot. “And watch your language in front of a foal. Hurry up now. We can’t let Twilight beat us, can we?”

With everyone at the wedding reception including Spike and not counting the Guards stationed at the door, we had the castle to ourselves. I stopped in the map table room to await the others. Crimson objected to showing Thorax “classified secrets” and I replied that with the castle open to visitors every day, it was about as secret as my real identity in Ponyville.

We didn’t have to wait long before the Element Bearers arrived along with the CMCs. Twilight looked around the room, barely noting the strange colt before she addressed me.

“What’s this about, Mark? The Crusaders insist that there’s a friendship problem, but the cutie map isn’t showing us anything.”

Ugh. I hated that name for the map table. “It doesn’t need to because I’ve got the problem right here.” I gestured with my right wing towards Thorax.

Twilight frowned. “The foal? What are you talking about, Mark?”

“Have you heard about a changeling in town?”

“I have. They’ve all been unsubstantiated rumors.”

“They’re not rumors, Twilight. One changeling has been living peacefully in Ponyville since your brother’s wedding.”

Twilight was no fool. Her eyes narrowed and focused on the odd colt, and her horn lit up.

I spread my wing to block her view of the shivering changeling. “Stop it, Twilight.”

“You don’t know changelings, Mark. They can’t be trusted!”

I felt her magic thrust my wing aside as she resumed whatever she intended to do to Thorax.

This time I stepped in front of the changeling and bellowed, “I said ‘STOP IT!’” My voice shook the room, impressing even me, but it had the desired effect on Twilight. Her magic aura died away as she gave me a perplexed and anguished look.

“But… Mark…”

“I told you that you had a friendship problem to solve and this is it. Twilight, meet Thorax. Thorax, please show us your regular self.”

Despite quaking with fear, the changeling complied, his fiery green magic revealing a normal-sized drone.

“I asked Thorax to come here and talk with you in your role as Princess of Friendship. You say that I don’t know changelings, but I think that you have the same problem. Your only experience with them was Chrysalis’ invasion. What do you truly know about them beyond that? Here’s one of them that can answer your questions and is willing to be a friend. Are you going to screw up this golden opportunity?”

The alicorn frowned. “How do I know this isn’t a trick, or if you’re even the real Mark Wells?”

I turned to Applejack who had been sternly watching and listening. “I am the genuine Mark Wells and Thorax has not used any magic on me, as can be verified by Crimson Boulder. Am I telling the truth, Applejack?”

The farm mare nodded. “He’s the real deal, Twi.”

“That still doesn’t mean that Thorax can be trusted!” Twilight objected.

“Then why is your butt glowing?” I asked with a smirk.

Unnoticed in the heat of the moment, Twilight’s cutie mark had started flashing. She looked back at it and then over to the map table. Sure enough, her cutie mark was hovering there directly above the castle. It wasn’t alone though – mine was accompanying it. I glanced back and saw my rear end flashing too. Looks like I had roped myself into the friendship problem well and truly.

Confronted with reality by her favorite new toy, Twilight calmed down and started approaching the situation in a much more rational fashion. First, we all adjourned to the comfort of a lounge room where Twilight entertained official guests. Then Thorax reiterated what he had told me about how he had come here and what he had been doing since. Since nothing bad had happened in town in nearly a year since the invasion… OK, let me qualify that… nothing bad attributable to changelings had happened, Twilight was forced to admit that the resident bug-pony was, in fact, a peaceful non-threat who just wanted to make friends.

“However,” Twilight said as a thought occurred to her, “If Chrysalis could force you to attack Canterlot, what is there to stop her from imposing her will on you again to do her bidding?”

“Well, first of all, my link to the hive was broken in the love blast,” Thorax replied. “Secondly, I didn’t really know better back then. I knew nothing but the hive and my queen. Everything we did, we did at the behest of Chrysalis, and anyone who displeased her was punished. Now though, I have learned what it is like to live differently and to have friends. Chrysalis could never convince me to obey her again.”

“Do you think there may be others like you?” I asked.

Thorax shrugged. “Maybe. Even if there are, they’d probably be too afraid to admit it.”

Applejack shook her head. “It seems mighty sad to me that yer whole species is forced to act at the whims of such an evil ruler.”

“To be honest, Applejack, not all of them needed to be forced. Changelings are normally aggressive from the day they are hatched.”

“But it is up to the parents and other authority figures to teach their foals restraint and respect,” Rarity said with a pointed look at Sweetie Belle. “Clearly, none of this has happened in your hive.”

“I know! What they need is a party!” Pinkie suggested. “Then maybe they won’t be so nasty anymore.”

I grinned and said, “That may be a little ambitious, Pinkie, but if we can get the changelings to see that there are better alternatives, perhaps we can make peace with them and eliminate a threat to Equestria forever.”

“Yeah, sure!” scoffed Rainbow Dash. “Ya think that’s gonna be easy?”

Twilight straightened up in her chair and resolve firmed on her features. “No, it won’t be easy, but that’s why I’m the Princess of Friendship and Diarch of Equestria. It’s up to me to find a way.”

“It’s up to us,” I reminded her.

She nodded. “But first, we need to make a diplomatic visit to Queen Chrysalis. While we haven’t heard from her since the invasion, I have no doubt that she survived. So, tell us where your hive is and we’ll start immediately.”

Thorax shrank a little. “I can’t.”

Twilight frowned. “Why not? I thought you wanted this to happen?”

“I do! I just don’t know where the hive is. I’d never even been on the surface before. It was nighttime and I just flew along with the rest of the swarm until we reached a staging point near Canterlot.”

Twilight scanned her eyes across the ponies around her but got nothing but frowns and shrugs in return. It looked like we’d have to find the changeling hive some other way.

Thorax folded his ears onto his head and shrank down. Time to change the subject. “We’ve discussed what you can do for us, but nothing about what we can do for you. What do you want to do with your life away from the hive?”

Thorax looked a little stunned. “I have a choice?”

Twilight’s face lit up. “Of course, you do! What kind of friends would we be if we replaced your queen with another absolute authority figure?”

“Then… I’d like to stay with my friends.”

“Where have you been living, dear?” Rarity asked.

“In the CMC clubhouse. I have a little nest in a cupboard where I could hide when I wasn’t disguised as a foal.”

“Oh dear, that won’t do. We can’t have an official resident of Ponyville slumming it. Twilight, darling – can you spare a guest room until Thorax gets more permanent accommodations?”

The alicorn blinked in surprise. “I can’t see why not, and it would be helpful in my studies of changelings if Thorax is willing?”

“You want me to live here?” Thorax asked, incredulity on his face.

“If you like. Nopony is forcing you,” Twilight reassured him.

Slowly, hope dawned on the changeling’s face. “Can the Crusaders visit me?”

“Anytime within reason.”

He burst into a smile. “I accept!”

“Great!” I said. “Pinkie – one welcome home party, stat!”

“Roger dodger, mon Capitan!” Pinkie said with a salute. She then pulled a huge party cannon from who knows where and fired it. Instantly, the room was decorated and all kinds of party foods adorned the coffee tables. The CMCs ran up to hug Thorax and congratulate him. And topping it off, Twilight and my cutie marks started flashing. We grinned at each other.

“Mission accomplished?” I asked.

She shook her head with a smile. “No, it just signals the end of the beginning. Today, we made a start that could have major repercussions for the future, but like all friendships, we have to keep working on it. I have a good feeling about this though.”

“Me too. And now I have a shape-changing buddy.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Just don’t have him turn into you as a prank, okay? One of you is enough!”

“Oh, I don’t know. Considering how many mares want a piece of me, I could do with a stand-in.” I gave her a wink.

The alicorn blushed and I wondered if I had given her ideas. Wonderful, naughty ideas.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Putting Mark into the "Slice of Life" episode was always going to be fun, but it was also hard work. We didn't want to cover the existing events too much, but the shark and the changeling were great targets for some original alternative world-building.

Art credits:
Photo Shoot — Original art by shuxer59 and modified by Airy Words to put it in photo format.

Marklestia in Ponyville — Original art by yakovlev-vad and inserted into Ponyville background by Goldfur. Background is a show asset.

Thorax at the Wedding — Two screen captures combined to show both foals and changeling. Show asset modified by Goldfur.

Crash-Landing — Art by askbubblelee .

All original art is used with the permission of its creator.

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Chapter 30 - A Dark and Stormy Night

When I returned to Canterlot, I discovered Day Court would begin a fourteen day Spring Holiday the upcoming weekend. I was more surprised to see many shops around town also planning to close for the occasion. I meant to query Steady about this but the rush of trying to cram three weeks of work into just one crowded such minutia out of my mind. This was not helped by the fact that Raven Inkwell had trouble concentrating the last couple of days. I noticed that despite her wearing more perfume, she smelled a bit… musky. It may have been my imagination, but I started to catch sideways glances and smirks from many of the mares in the castle, including some of the guardsponies. Even more strange was that mares started looking more appealing to me for some reason.

At the end of Day Court on Friday, Trixie told me, “I do not expect to see you for two weeks.” Then she left for her chambers without a backward glance. Well, that was rather rude.

When I arrived at my rooms, Crimson excused himself and said he would be back in twenty minutes. Inside, Steady had my clothes, brushes, shampoos and whatnot spread out on my bed and my open pannier-style saddlebags next to them. I noticed all the accessories were for my male form. He looked up. “You ready? Since you haven’t done this before, Crimson and I are going to make sure you have a great time.”

I frowned. “My first time at what, exactly? Is this some sort of enforced two-week vacation?”

He gaped at me for a moment then checked to make sure the door was closed. He waved me closer and looked me in the eyes. “Mark, the mares in Equestria go into heat in the spring. Canterlot and the West Coast towns like Vanhoover start around now, while East Coast cities such as Baltimare and Manehatten start next week.”

I made the “Oh” shape with my lips and I’m sure my eyes were wide as saucers. Hadn’t thought of that.

“Unless a couple is trying for a foal, the stallions clear out,” Steady smirked. “Now I know you are all about getting in touch with your mare side, do you want—”

“No,” I said flatly. “You go right on packing for me. Don’t let me slow you down.”

I went to my wardrobe to gather a few more items that I took on every trip: camera with extra film, magic grounding boot, emergency bag, and the pouch from Zecora. While I no longer used the poison joke, I was dying to see what it did to Crimson and Steady. I figured I wasn’t quite done getting even with them for their pranks… or maybe I wanted to get in the lead again. Who cares? Anyway, I put Zecora’s pouch at the bottom of my bags and the folded clothes and other items fit around them.

A multi-purpose tool and flint striker gave me a hunch about our destination but when my valet attached a tackle box to the cross strap connecting the bags, it became a certainty. “We’re going fishing?”

Steady looked up with a smile. “I remembered you telling me about the great times you and Phil had going fishing and camping. It turns out both Crimson and I love fish, the fresher the better. I booked the three of us a luxury cabin at the Camp Shady Brook Resort at the base of Canterlot Mountain. Giant kitchen... bay windows… full-sized bath attached to every suite…we’re gonna live like kings for a week then go out and camp at the trout-filled streams and beaver ponds in the area. Stallions only, mostly current or former guardponies or military. More fun than the Stallion’s Quarter here in town, unless you want to spend the entire two weeks drunk.”

I shook my head then paused. “I thought only pegasi liked fish?”

“Apparently Crimson developed a taste for it in survival training, or from a pegasus fishmonger’s daughter he dated—I forget which. I think he enjoys it more than we do.”

I grinned hugely and pulled Steady into a hug, slapping him on the back a few times with a wing. “Steady, my good stallion, thanks for looking out for me. I have a feeling this is going to be an unforgettable trip.”

After leaving word for Trixie and Twilight where we were headed, the next couple of days were happily spent scouting a few possible camping spots for an extended fishing hike. We hauled back our catch each evening to our cabin, where Crimson showed his impressive skills at preparing fish. Tonight I was able to add a rice pilaf side dish to his version of Cajun-style blackened trout. Steady kept the beers flowing and cleaned up after us.

After dinner, we sat around the living room, sampling a new whiskey brand that was made by Equestrian griffons living near Baltimare. Crimson was relaying his part in war game plans that were coming up next month.

“I trust both of you have the discretion not to relate this to anypony else.” He looked up to see both Steady and I nodding. “Being the ‘bad guys’, my group will have illusions on them to have the appearance of armored lizards from Saddle Arabian lore. As we close with the Equestrian ranks, the illusions on half will change to show changeling drones. The strongest pegasi in my group will have the lightest unicorns harnessed to their backs to create an aerial magic attack. Ground troops like me will have their illusions drop to show ponies that look identical to the Equestrians, right down to the unit badges.”

While Steady got a chuckle, I remembered this particular scenario and figured the description wasn’t quite done yet. “And?” I asked.

Crimson pursed his lips. “After a minute of close combat, that’s when the surprise comes out to play. Fluttershy has been trying to get a tatzelwurm to agree to come in and just scare everybody, basically causing chaos without harming anyone. Unfortunately, while the adult Fluttershy has been speaking to is, and I quote ‘an absolute dear’, the beastie is concerned she will just get too excited and end up hurting somepony.”

Steady laughed then stopped. “Wait. You’re serious?”

Crimson nodded. “Every word. I would not want to make that mare angry, especially when she counts the Element Bearers and the most terrifying creatures imaginable as her friends.” He poured himself another shot of Last Clutch. “Anyway, since we couldn’t get reservations with that terror, we settled for a gang of screaming teenage dragons with pugil sticks. Should do a similar job of mucking up anything the troops are trying to do.”

I asked, “What do you predict the outcome to be?”

“I think the Equestrians will actually win this time, but with about 60% marked as casualties, which is the same as a loss, really. Many opportunities for lessons learned in the post-scenario briefings.”

I sat back in my chair. Crimson had gotten me thinking tactically again. I knew something was bothering me but it took some time to figure out exactly what. “Wait a minute. For the next two weeks, the Equestrian armed forces are basically split. Every unit has been divided up.” For some reason, both Crimson and Steady were giving me knowing smiles. “What’s to keep an enemy from attacking now? It’s the perfect time.”

My friends fell into each other laughing, slapping each other’s backs. Eventually, they got their jollies out of their system. Crimson started. “You know, the griffons thought the same thing… about eight hundred years ago. A large group of them descended on Canterlot when it was a much smaller city. You know, steal some gold and gems, grab some food, and terrorize a thousand or so soft pony civilians. Nothing easier while Celestia and the army were out teaching a lesson to Diamond Dogs, right?”

Steady picked up the story. “Well, it went about as expected, mares running around screaming, no resistance to speak of until one griffon made the mistake of heading towards the stallion’s enclave which was at the south edge of town.”

Crimson put on his best falsetto voice. “Suddenly, a mare called out, ‘They’re trying to steal our stallions!’ ”

My valet held up his hooves dramatically. “And then there was silence… ”

I pricked my ears up. Obviously, they weren’t going to continue until I said something. “And then?”

Crimson said. “And that’s when Tartarus came to Equestria, at least for the griffons. Every mare came outside and they fought together like a well-oiled machine. Earth ponies flung themselves off of buildings to try to grab griffons on the wing, and few hollow-boned griffons are a match for an earth pony. Pegasi gathered up hundreds of clouds into a gigantic thunderhead and kicked it into spewing lightning everywhere. Of course, you can’t aim lightning so it basically blew pieces off of half the buildings and set fire to the other half, all while forcing the griffons to fly lower.”

Steady continued. “The unicorn mares acted as teams, plucking griffons out of the sky to waiting earth ponies who would tie up the males and subdue the females. Soon after the battle started in earnest, the stallions charged in to protect their mares, helping where they could and dragging the griffon hens away before they were killed. A few griffons escaped that rout, but not many. They named the battle ‘The Day of the Red Feather’.”

Crimson raised his glass. “To stallions who know to stay out of the way of their mares this time of year.” We all took a shot and sat back.

I needed to hear the rest of the story. “So what was the aftermath?”

My valet looked up. “A few things. When Celestia came back with her two gender-segregated armies, she found most of the wooden structures in the town destroyed by fire. Everypony was camped out in the still-under-construction castle. Every single mare was pregnant from the celebrations that followed. Oh, and you can’t find spirits older than that year—the royal wine cellar was sacked.”

My bodyguard said, “A few of the griffon hens who had been healed and treated very well by the stallions decided to stay and become Equestria’s first griffon citizens. The exhausted males, however, all were happy to finally be allowed to leave.”

“Exhausted?”

Crimson smiled. “Ten days and nights of spells to keep them awake and ‘useful’ to a mare. Legend has that most of them survived.”

Steady grinned. “Where else did you think hippogriffs came from, Mark?”

“And that’s why no stallion in their right mind will go into the Mares’ Quarter for the next two weeks… unless they want to risk the same thing happening to them.”

I sat back. Death by Snu-Snu. It was a real thing here.

Crimson stood up. “But no more moping about the most glorious death possible. We have midnight bowling to attend to!”

I blinked. “But it’s not midnight yet, and I’ve probably had a few too many shots to be anything but a source of amusement for you two.”

Crimson thumped his chest. “I guess you should have moderated yourself like Steady or had an earth pony constitution like me. And it’s called ‘midnight bowling’ because no matter what, the tournament has to end at midnight. That’s when the weather teams bring in the thunderclouds. Prizes for the… what?” He turned to Steady.

The pegasus smiled. “Prizes for the top four score totals from three games. And as for you being a laughing stock… why do you think we brought out the good stuff so early in the week?”

I rolled my eyes. These stallions got me again.

Not wanting to repeat my previous tactic of leading with my head, I stuck to a foal’s weight bowling ball. As it turned out, my slight buzz… OK, my significant buzz just caused me to relax and not try to force any of my shots. Despite my friends’ attempts to make me cave under the pressure, I found myself yawning at their good-natured attempts to make me nervous. I did accept the occasional bolstering shot of whiskey to try to stay at the same level of a-bit-more-than-tipsy. This proved to be a very inexact science, especially with a drink whose flavor I truly enjoyed. It didn’t hurt that many of the competitors were in much worse shape than I was—either from getting an earlier head-start on drinking today or lagging from the third day without sleep. I jumped up the leaderboard a couple of spots when one competitor turned an even greener shade than his natural color and ran off to the bathroom, never to return. A second could not be roused to complete his third game.

Back in my room, I proudly set the third-place prize fruit basket down on the nightstand just as I heard the rain start outside. I picked up the candle holder with the cool-burning safety candle already lit. I put on my nightcap before visiting the little-colts-room in my suite. In the mirror, I smirked at how much I looked like Ebenezer Scrooge.

I heard the bang of the bay windows slamming open followed by the whistling of the wind. I grumbled as I came back out and swung them shut again, this time throwing the hook latches on the bottom and top to better fasten the windows together. I studied the windows flexing slightly as they battled the wind. They were moving much more than I would like. Maybe I could find a wedge of some sort to brace them closed?

Just then, I saw the reflection in the window glass of a red light from behind me. I turned around and didn’t see anything, only then realizing that perhaps the light was from outside the cabin. I spun around and peered into the darkness. The light was not there either, and a flash of lightning showed nothing but an expanse of wet grass all the way to the forest, maybe a hundred yards away.

I frowned as I moved back into my room. Were Steady and Crimson playing mind games with me? I knew about the firefly tool that could create a point of light a few feet ahead, even through obstacles. I had seen ones that projected a point of white light, so it was feasible there was a model that created a red spot. I grabbed my candle from the bathroom and quickly moved to the door. Opening it, I looked into the hallway. It was still well lit but also empty. Hmmm.

I returned to the bathroom and washed my face. I stopped when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise up. I looked in the mirror, unsure what I would see, but there was nothing but the empty chamber and the sound of the wind trying to claw its way into my room. I brought the candle back into my bedroom, looking out the window at the indistinct shapes of rain washing against the glass. I checked inside and behind the wardrobe and under the bed. Nothing. Phil and I had camped through this kind of weather more than once. What was it that was spooking me so?

The feeling was getting worse. I hesitantly opened the door to the hallway again only to hear the windows slam open behind me, accompanied by the howling of the wind and crash of thunder. A chill went up my back and I froze.

My hoof shaking, I turned around to see a smiling Fluttershy. I sighed in relief. “Oh, my goodness, you scared me half to death!” I stepped closer to her. “But shouldn’t you… be…” My pace ground to a halt as it dawned on me that she didn’t look quite right. Her smile was too wide and her ears were tufted. I thought I could see light through parts of her wings, which made no sense. When the next flash of lightning struck somewhere outside, I saw fangs and a joyous, feral hunger in her slit pupils.

“Gyah!” I backed up just as my now-batpony friend leaped at me. Instinct drilled into me by hoof-to-hoof combat sessions took over and I rolled straight back, using her momentum and my rear hooves to toss her past me. I dropped the candle holder and heard it clatter away. When I got to my hooves, the now hissing Fluttershy was blocking my room’s only exit to the hallway. She spread her membranous wings, perhaps to block any attempt to get past her. I briefly considered jumping out the window, but I would be at a great disadvantage without night vision, and I had to assume nocturnes shared the mating flight tradition with pegasi. I could still do one thing, though.

“Steady! Crimson! Help!”

I dived to the side to get out of the way of her next leap, unfortunately resulting with me sprawled on my bed. In a moment, Fluttershy was on top of me and I struggled to grapple with her using what little I had learned. I’m not proud to say I landed a good punch on the side of my friend’s head, but this just caused her to grin wider. The now-batpony was also very strong in this form and her hips grinding against mine was getting very distracting.

Just as Fluttershy started to pin me, she hesitated, her nose wrinkling. The thestral looked up at my nightstand. Her tongue shot out like a chameleon’s, returning wrapped around an apple. The fruit was quickly pierced by her fangs and drained to a withered husk. She spat it on the ground.

I stopped struggling for a moment. “OK. I’m officially saying that is the least sexy thing I have ever seen in my entire life.”

Then I saw salvation arrive in the doorway.

“Mark, what are— ” Steady stopped in his tracks after he had walked a step into my room, his candleholder held high. Crimson was right behind him.

Fluttershy turned and hissed at the two for a second, then smiled and licked her fangs.

Steady backed out of the room and Crimson grabbed the doorknob as he looked me in the eyes. “Sorry, Mark. You’re on your own for this one.” With that, the door was closed behind them.

As Fluttershy looked back at me, my sense of betrayal was replaced by the need to act and act now. I knew I was down to one option. Well, two actually, but let’s not go there. I switched to my long-maned Marklestia form and used my magic to levitate her off of me with probably more force than was necessary.

She flipped over and landed face first into the closed wardrobe across the room. When she sat up in the candlelight, the fluffy batpony wore a little pout as she rubbed her nose with a hoof. It was absolutely adorable.

I couldn’t help myself as I got out of my bed. “D’awwww.”

Fluttershy looked at me and hissed. She jumped forward and slammed into the door. It wouldn’t budge, no doubt braced by two panicked stallions on the other side.

I jumped forward and spread my wings to their fullest, which practically filled the room. I yelled “Mine!” as loud as I could. I also made my matchstick spell as bright as I could muster. Apparently, huge wings and a glowing horn were an effective sign of dominance because she backed away.

I herded her towards the bay windows, ready to throw her outside if needed. She hissed one more time, then in rapid succession, used her tongue to snag three apples from my nightstand. The first two were dropped into her forehooves and the last stayed in her mouth as the thestral leaped through the open window and into the night. I watched her take flight and closed the window after I was sure she wasn’t returning.

I sighed and moved to pick up my candle holder from the floor. “You brave, strong stallions who are sworn to protect me from bodily harm can come out from hiding now.”

Hesitantly, the door opened and two eyes peered into the room. I glared back at them as they entered.

Steady couldn’t look me in the eye. “Sorry, Mark. I just couldn’t.”

Crimson was less embarrassed. “Mark, a bodyguard’s job is to protect his charge from physical harm, not pleasant exercise. As your self-defense instructor, I knew you were perfectly capable of handling the situation. Even if, once again, you hesitated to transform into your pegacorn alter-ego.”

I waved my forehooves over my head. “But she had fangs! I even got a close-up demonstration of how she uses them!”

Crimson shrugged. “Personally, I like fangs on my mares. Adds the spice of danger and some incentive not to disappoint.”

“Too much information. I think you two are just terrified of mares in heat.”

Both nodded their heads vigorously. “Guilty,” they said in unison.

“So you’re telling me that both of you would rather face off against an angry hydra or a manticore with a toothache rather than tangle with a single ovulating, feral mare.”

My valet said, “A manticore won’t nag at you to stop drinking or be back home at sundown every night.”

Crimson chimed in, “And a hydra won’t smack you upside the head if you glance at another mare just one second too long.”

Shaking my head in disappointment I said, “I had no idea bachelorhood was synonymous with cowardice.” I waved them to go out of the room. “Come on. I need to let Twilight know about Flutter-batpony and it’s too dark to write in here.”

As they retreated, I grabbed my emergency bag. “Umm, Mark?” said Steady. “Shouldn’t you change back to your stallion form now?”

“In a minute. The piece of paper I have for the note is pretty small and this form has the best handwriting.”

Ten minutes and lots of grumbling later, I had my note written. What I wouldn’t have given for a ballpoint pen right then. Twilight had promised to pass that wish along with her other communications to Sunset Shimmer. I could only hope they would show up in the next care package instead of “Rutledge’s Comprehensive Guide to Semi-Conductor Theory, 17th Edition” or whatever other pricey item was on Twilight’s list of absolute must-haves from Sunset’s world. The comments from the peanut gallery did not help either.

Crimson grinned. “Really, Mark? Did she ‘try to take advantage of you’? You know that the word ‘mate’ has fewer letters, right? I would have thought you would try to make this note concise and all that.”

Steady added, “Shouldn’t you also ask for some apple-scented cologne from Applejack? That way you and Fluttershy can bite and make up!”

I cast an ink-drying spell and folded the sheet in quarters, leaving a two inch by two inch square with the embossed name of the destination pony, Twilight Sparkle in this case, facing up. I placed a hollow glass sphere on top of it, the center a slowly moving swirl of yellow and green flame. These crisis notes were great for instant communications but the transfer mechanism had a limited shelf life. Also, their inventor Twilight said the defect rate in creating a sphere that could capture Spike’s dragonfire was very high, so I had been issued just the one. Research into more reliable instant communication systems continued.

I hesitated. “So I won’t be cut by the glass?”

Crimson shook his head. “Powder glass. Enchanted to crumble to dust as soon as it breaks.”

I pressed down hard with my hoof and was rewarded with a pop and a flash. Gray smoke snaked its way out a window we had cracked open. Lifting my hoof revealed a small amount of dust the same color. The moment the smoke had left, Steady latched the window shut and returned to the table. He shuddered. “Somehow even having the window open for that long felt like a terrible risk.”

I grinned and smothered him with one of my enormous wings, perhaps accidentally pressing his face into the table. “Awwww. Don’t be scared, little colt. Big and strong Momma Mark is going to make sure you stay single and unattached for the rest of your life.” I put on a maniacal grin. “No more looking or talking to any other mares for you. You will always be mine! Bwu-ha-ha-ha!”

Steady knocked my wing away with a glare. “Yeah, we heard what you told Fluttershy when she was trying to break down the door.”

I shrugged and pulled my wing back. “Hey, it worked, didn’t it? Frankly, I don’t think she understood a word I said. It was the alpha-mare attitude that got through to her.”

Crimson raised an eyebrow. “Speaking of that… ”

I blinked. “Oh, right.” I willed the change back to my stallion form. Nothing. Then I willed it again. Still nothing. I closed my eyes and cleared my head, focusing on exactly what I wanted my body to do.

After a full minute, I looked up at my friends. “I’m stuck.” Then I remembered. “No, wait! I’m not! I still have a dose of the poison joke cure from Zecora. Be back in a minute.”

I quickly got to my room and had to wait for what seemed like an eternity for the oversized clawfoot tub to fill to the point I could fully immerse myself. I dumped in the powder and swirled it with my hoof. I smiled as I felt the familiar tingle of the neutralizing magic. I carefully climbed into the tub. It was a tight fit, but I got all of my body under the surface of the water. I felt the expected prickling crawl all over my body… and that was it. Eventually, I had to come up for air.

Snarling, I grabbed a towel and stomped back out to the kitchen. “It’s not working.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” deadpanned Crimson. I glared at my bodyguard. He crossed his hooves. “Then you have to leave. Fly to Friendship Castle. Your friends there will help. Off with you.”

“What?! I don’t think so!”

Steady spoke up. “Mares stay with mares, Mark.”

“But I feel fine! Both of you still look ugly as sin to me.”

“That’s not going to last. You are just at the beginning of your cycle. Trust me, it’s going to get bad.”

I scoffed. “That’s stupid. If I have to, I’ll just lock the door to my room.”

Crimson said “Mark... ”

“We can just play card games or something, sliding them under the door.”

“Mark... ”

“And you can feed me by sliding flat foods like pancakes the same way.”

“Mark... ”

I waved a forehoof across my body forcefully. “No, that’s it. If I have to pull rank, I will. I am not leaving this cabin, period.”

Steady sighed. “Mark, since this is your first heat, it is going to be especially intense. Being a powerful pegacorn will probably make it even worse.”

I frowned and looked away, my forelegs crossed on my chest.

Crimson leaned forward. “Ten bits to your two that the heat will overwhelm your self-control after seven days and nights without sleep. Do you want to spend the next eleven months pregnant?”

I got up. “Flight bags. Steady, can I borrow your flight bags? I didn’t think to bring the barrel cinch for mine.”

I stood impassively, letting Steady secure his flight bags onto my barrel. In practically no time at all, the cinch was tightened and I was standing by myself next to the front door of the cabin. Since all my stallion stuff was useless to me now, the bags were less than half-full. I held my head low and absolutely every part of my body drooped. My valet snapped the two halves of Ever-Dry bands around the base of each wing. I felt a tingling along their length until everything to the furthest tip of my primaries was covered in their magic field. I looked pleadingly up at my friends, now standing a safe distance away. I noticed they were both leaning backward as well.

I sniffled. “But I was so looking forward to spending time with you two. And now I’ve ruined it.” I turned away, wiping imaginary tears with my fetlock.

That got Steady to come up to me and give me a tentative wing hug. “Mark, I think the mood swings are starting to get to you. And, well, you never know. It may not be... all that bad.” He didn't sound convinced in the slightest. I sure wasn’t.

I quickly wrapped him up in a foreleg and wing hug. “You are such a great friend! I love you so, so, so much, Steady!” I gave the now slightly panicked stallion a kiss on the cheek then moved my lips next to his ear on the side away from Crimson. With my forehoof, I shoved a small bottle under Steady’s wing, whispering, “This is poison joke. You know what to do.”

I pulled away and stared meaningfully into his eyes. “I’ll be at Friendship Castle. Write to me.”

I saw comprehension dawn on my valet’s face as he pulled away from my hug. “Uh… sure thing, Mark.”

I looked longingly at Crimson who said, “I think the season is hitting you hard, Mark. You’d better go.”

I sighed, turned to reach for the door then paused.

“No.”

I sat back down and crossed my forelegs. “I am not leaving without one last drink together. If we’ve got to bring this bachelor party to a close, we’ll do it properly.”

Crimson opened his mouth to say something but Steady piped up, “I know just the thing!”

A couple of minutes later, Steady called us into the kitchen. He placed a mixed drink in our hooves, no ice. Crimson frowned. “Have I had this before?”

Steady’s delivery was perfect. “Nope. It’s a surprise. To friendship… ” He looked at me levelly. “… just friendship… ” He grinned wickedly at Crimson. “… and everything that comes with it!”

“Here, here!” I said and drained my glass. Bringing my head down, I saw that both my friends had done the same.

Steady and I looked at Crimson and waited. He frowned at the taste then noticed our stares. “What?” Then he started tapping his hooves.

I turned to Steady. “Well, that’s catchy.” I started tapping mine.

He grinned. “I’ll say. I think I’ve got the rhythm!”

Both of us started to do a reasonably decent impression of tap dancing around the room, to be followed by our bodyguard putting us to shame with his lightning-quick footwork. His face was a delightful shade of panic. “I can’t control them!”

I nodded my head in time with an imaginary beat. “Don’t try to, baby! Just let the music floooooooow through you! Steady, there’s a record player here, right? Spin us some tunes!”

“On it!”

After a particularly graceful pirouette, Crimson returned to all fours and did something similar to the Charleston. “I can’t believe this! This whole thing was a set up to get me to drink poison joke? Fluttershy? Pretending to get stuck in your Marklestia form? All to see what would happen to me?”

I grinned as I shuffled gracefully across the floor. “Nah. I’ve got no idea what happened to Fluttershy, and I really am stuck in this form.” I lowered my head, grinned evilly and paraphrased. “ ‘Sometimes you will see the pranks coming. Often times you will not.’ ” His eyes opened wide in recognition.

I took off Steady’s flight bags. “Lighten up, Crimson. Take it from me. Enjoy it while it lasts, then take a bath in my tub for the cure.”

Now how could I change up his dance steps? I tried to sing the first show tune I could think of, “There’s No Business Like Show Business”, but stopped after only getting that far. It seemed Celestia did not have a voice for the theater. It was so bad that Crimson stopped dancing for a moment to cover his ears.

A classical waltz started up. When Steady walked closer, I lifted a flap of the bags and handed him my camera. I turned to Crimson to see him already standing in ready position, waiting for his partner. If his face was any indication, he was a bit conflicted.

I gushed dramatically. “I will have this dance!” I stood up, stepped confidently into his embrace and turned my head, as was proper. We then started gliding across the floor but soon came to an uneven halt.

Crimson said with a frown, “Mark, stop leading.”

Oops.

I think Steady had more fun taking photos of us than we did dancing together. He opined that the best photos were taken after he put on a DJ Pon3 record. Still, an earth pony break dancing was not healthy for the furniture, even if it was made in the rustic, log furniture style. In any case, a couple of hours of good times later, Crimson had had enough and took his bath.

I put the camera back in Steady’s flight-bags once again and he helped fasten them around my barrel. I opened the front door and checked my wristband—that I should probably call a cannon-band, but oh well. About thirty percent. That would allow a quick sprint to Ponyville. The storm chose right then to release a lightning bolt close by. This was followed by a deafening clap of thunder a couple of seconds later. I cringed and felt my ears flatten against my skull.

“Are you sure you guys don’t want me around until the storm breaks? We had a heck of a lot of fun, and I’m not too keen on flying through all that.”

Steady shook his head. “The thunderstorm is scheduled to go through tomorrow evening. The weather control team is using the holiday to do flood control testing since there is no commerce on the roads.”

Crimson came up and gave me a clonk on the shoulder. “Mark, you’re a pegasus, even in that form. That means a lightning strike or two won’t hurt you. It’s part of your makeup. Also, you’re just a dot in the sky – the chances of that happening are a million to one.”

I sighed and lowered my head. Of course, they were right. “I’m gonna miss you guys.”

My valet smirked. “More like you’re going to miss the whiskey.”

I brightened and looked up to smile at him. “Great idea! Wrap up one of the bottles of Last Clutch for me. Use one of my shirts that I otherwise won’t be using.”

My friends grumbled. I smirked. “It’s your fault for reminding me. Now come on.”

When my flight bags had the last item loaded, I gave a hoofbump to my friends (like a proper ‘bro’), took a deep breath, and flew off into the night.

I should have insisted on staying until the storm broke. Even for a trumped-up pegasus like me, this weather was crazy difficult to deal with. For starters, the wind was in my face as I turned towards Ponyville… or at least what I hoped was the right direction. Visibility sucked big time when the only illumination aside from my glowing horn came from the frequent lightning. Of course, while that gave me light, it also had me nervous about getting struck by a bolt. It’s one thing to be told that I could cope with it and an entirely different thing to be cool with that knowledge.

I could swear that I saw several flying creatures out in the storm with me, but would even thestrals want to be out on a night like this? The rain blown into my eyes sure didn’t help despite the third eyelid protecting them. I made a mental note to add flight goggles to my ‘Must Pack’ list in the future.

Gah! Almost flew into a tree! How did I not notice how close to the ground I had gotten? Oh yeah – the storm. Helluva downdraft! Thank heavens for that lightning at the last mom—

BOOMCRASHSIZZLE!

I nearly plowed into the ground before I recovered. Holy shit! I was just struck by lightning and survived! What an experience! I hope to hell that doesn’t hap—

BOOMZAPCRACKLE!

Bucking hell! Again?! Is this storm targeting me? I tried to look at my power band but couldn’t read it in the poor light. I decided to play it safe. Perhaps my proximity to the ground was exacerbating the situation? I poured power into my wings to gain elevation fast. Unfortunately, now I was in real danger of losing my bearings because I couldn’t see any landmarks and my horn only illuminated the raindrops. Still, if the wind remained in my face, I guess I was more or less headed the right way.

Then it started hailing. Not pea-sized hail but marble-sized and bigger. I winced whenever one struck a tender spot, and when a big one struck my horn, I ended up with a blinding headache. I was seriously considering what mayhem I could inflict on my so-called buddies for forcing me out into this torture. I screamed my defiance at the storm.

It laughed back with a bone-shaking rumble and a blinding flash. The hell?! Lightning in a hailstorm? The magical land of Equestria just lost some of its luster right then.

It wasn’t any better being struck for a third time. And I think it caused a brief short in one of the Ever-Dry bands. I had to struggle to achieve lift while the field worked to get my appendage completely dry again. From that point, my experience went downhill, as impossible as that seems.

The cold and wet had pushed me into the foulest mood by the time Ponyville came into sight. My mane and tail were both sodden, heavy messes. I headed straight for the balcony entrance at the top of Friendship Castle. It was closer to my room and I didn’t feel like wasting time getting to a warm shower.

I saw the two batpony guards take notice of me as I glided to a landing at the edge of the platform. The rain bounced off the protective fields generated by their armor. Both took hold of their spears and moved in front of the balcony entrance.

I frowned as I marched up to them. The one on the right spoke up in a voice I recognized.

“Good evening, Mark Wells. Password?”

I brought my muzzle right up to hers and snarled. “I’m in heat and I’ll go nuclear on your ass if you slow me down one more second, Ebony Blade!”

She retreated a step before repeating her demand for the password in a terrified squeak.

I swear the rainwater must have started steaming off me as I felt my anger grow white hot, but I managed to throttle it down enough to realize that this was exactly what I wanted of the Royal Guards. “Persimmons,” I grated out between clenched teeth.

“Uh… OK, sir. That’s an older password but it checks out.” Ebony stepped aside. “Have a good evening, Grand Vizier.”

I pushed my way past. My sensitive ears picked up their conversation as I strode into the castle.

“Wow. The season is hitting her hard. What does ‘go nuclear’ mean?”

“No clue. I just know I don’t want to find out.”

“How many times?” Twilight asked incredulously.

I sat by the fireplace, a blanket pulled around me and the remains of a steaming mug of cocoa held in the glow of my magic. “Seven,” I repeated.

I could tell that was abnormal judging by the way she gaped at me. “Mark – pegasi can handle being hit by lightning, but they usually have to land and recover after only one or two hits at the most. Only lightning wranglers have that much resistance to harm from being zapped.” She looked at where my cutie mark would be if it wasn’t hidden by the blanket. “And you are sure you’re not overloaded with energy?”

I poked my leg out from under the blanket to show the monitoring band – still green. “I was at around 30% before I left.”

The alicorn tapped the band, read the power level, and nodded thoughtfully. “About the same. I think your cells can release excess energy now and you’re no longer in danger of blowing up. Of course, that needs to be verified.”

I got a sinking feeling. “You don’t mean…?”

Twilight grinned happily. She put a hoof on my mug and it disappeared. “Yep! Off to the laboratory!”

Damn pushy mares! It didn’t help that I was probably stuck as one for the next couple of weeks.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

I wonder how Mark will feel about his alter ego after the next couple of weeks? :trixieshiftright:

Art by Amalgamzaku

Chapter 31 - Learning About You

As we walked to Twilight’s newly upgraded dungeon of scientific curiosities, Twilight gave me a fairly clinical rundown of what I was to expect and the alternatives mares had available to them to ‘cool their heat’.

After digesting that, I decided to change the subject. “Has Fluttershy come back?”

“Not yet. I don’t expect her until she changes back to her pegasus form in the morning.” She looked me in my eyes. “Yes, this has happened before; and no, the Elements and I didn’t expect it to happen again. Also, we haven’t told anyone else out of respect for her privacy – although I’ll recommend she go to see a thestral doctor I know. Perhaps he can recommend something to alleviate the symptoms.”

I considered. “How did she know where to find me?”

“I read aloud the note you sent at the beginning of the week. Obviously, Fluttershy thought of you first when her instincts told her it was time to mate.” She looked at me with a furrowed brow. “What I don’t understand, Mark, is how you got synched up to her season so quickly. This is a very well researched subject from there being an east coast and a west coast season and mares frequently relocating at all times of the year. Or in your case, for those that have their First Season.”

I looked at the alicorn. “So how does it normally work?”

“For mature females, the pheromones of the many mares around the new arrival affect her subconsciously, triggering a change in the ovulation cycle after a couple of days. For the first season, the response is much faster, but I assume you tried to change back to your stallion form right away, didn’t you? I mean, you would have to practically bathe in a mare’s pheromones for ten to fifteen minutes to kick off a First Season.”

I stopped in the hallway, sat down, and put my head in my hooves.

Twilight continued on without me, her hoofsteps slowed, then she came trotting back. “Mark?”

It was some time before I could speak. “That’s exactly what happened. Fluttershy was all over me in my stallion form. I had to change to this one to convince her to leave. Then I didn’t change back until I was done writing the note to you that I sent via dragonfire. I didn’t think to wash myself off either. I could have changed back earlier but I didn’t. Crap, crap, crap.”

After several seconds, Twilight pulled my hooves down so she could look me in the eyes. “Mark, what’s done is done. At this point, you need to move forward, and I’m going to tell you the rest of what I suspect now rather than let it be a surprise later.”

I closed my eyes and braced myself. I nodded for her to continue.

“I strongly suspect your Marklestia form will have this cycle from now on. If you refrain from turning into your pegacorn form for the two weeks of the season and some weeks thereafter, you will start the clock as soon as you do change. You might be able to delay, but you can’t avoid it.”

I winced then opened my eyes. “You said might.”

“It’s just as likely your body will transition to this form without your input once the Season starts. Maybe in your sleep, maybe not.”

I frowned. “Is that it?”

“Nope.” Doctor Twilight might need to work on her bedside manner. All the bad news all the time and all at once. “If you do get pregnant, your body will not be able to change back until after the foal is born.” Her horn glowed for a few seconds. “I’ve cast a birth-control spell on you, but it’s only about 90% effective.”

She chuckled. “Funny story, actually. The spell used to be 100% reliable until…” Twilight caught my unamused stare. “…well, that might be an interesting history lesson for another time.”

I looked at the floor and let that sink in. Surprisingly, the overwhelming feeling I had was not what I would have expected. I chose to act on it and pulled the Element of Magic into a side hug with my wing which she accepted with only a light squawk and her eyes snapping wide open.

I nuzzled her once. “Thanks for being there for me, Twilight. It means a huge amount for me that you and all the girls are here to support me. I know it’s going to be rough and I trust all of you to help me through it.”

She looked up at me with a smile. “Always glad to help, Mark.”

The alicorn let me hold her for as long as it took until I was ready. Eventually, I let her out of my embrace and we continued our journey.

We arrived at Twilight’s new research laboratory. I saw that this room was at least three times the size of her previous space in the basement of the library tree. I recognized some of the equipment but frowned when I saw how many shiny new toys the mare had. No doubt she had procured a number of them with me and the puzzles my form presented in mind.

This time I didn’t flinch when I saw the hypodermic needle float towards me. I was quite used to giving her blood samples by now. “Any progress on the amulets?”

Twilight floated the now filled syringe towards the immortal microscope. “Only partial. I’ve verified that your samples gathered after the battle with Tirek can also gather energy from ley lines. Potentially, the magic aid could help unicorns as well as pegasi.” She placed a few drops in a small pipette and floated that under the eyepiece. Having seen this before, I kept my distance and raised my shield spell.

“The problem is interfacing the amulet to the thaumic system of the subject. I’ve had some momentary successes with test subjects, but the link keeps evaporating and can’t be re-established for weeks. Still researching the mechanism responsible for this. One moment, please.”

I waited as Twilight set up two metal balls on either side of the sample. I wondered why they looked familiar and got my answer a few seconds after Twilight put on her padded lab coat and goggles then looked through the eyepiece. Powerful electric arcs shot between the balls and passed through the test sample. Twilight’s mane blew backward and was limned in the bright blue light. When the arcs stopped, the sample glowed for just a moment and then returned to normal. This repeated perhaps a dozen times.

“Interesting,” said the purple alicorn as she made a spiral notebook appear along with…

“A pen!” I practically yelled. “A ballpoint pen! So Sunset came through with my wish list?”

Twilight looked up with a furrowed brow before her eyes went wide. She grinned sheepishly and brought a hoof to the back of her neck. “Oh, heh, heh. I… might have forgotten to mention that to her. No, she just left me this notebook and pen last week when she visited for something unrelated. In fact, let me do that right now!”

The book Twilight used to communicate with Sunset Shimmer popped into existence in front of her. She opened to a bookmark that looked like a fractal design and wrote in it for a moment. I trotted up just as she finished and turned it to face me. In Twilight’s familiar tiny script, I read “Mark wants ballpoint pens, please!” in blue ink. As I watched, I was shocked to see a quickly drawn response appear in black ink directly underneath. ‘OK’.

Twilight nodded and closed the book and teleported it away again. “When she visited, Sunset recommended always having a light on in the portal room, just in case we got a visitor who didn’t have the ability to illuminate the room.” She looked at me meaningfully.

I winced. “I should have thought of that.”

She nodded. “You aren’t the only one. I’ve even put a note on the back of the door welcoming anypony new and giving them directions to the front atrium.”

I pointed with a hoof. “Back to the pen. Can you make me a dozen of those so we don’t have to wait for Sunset?”

Twilight gave me one of those ‘are you serious?’ looks that normally came from the other ruling mare. “And how would I do that?”

I shrugged. “Unicorns have duplication spells, don’t they? Raven was able to copy and read four notebooks in about a half-hour.”

The lavender mare smiled. “Ah! I see where you get that impression. No, I can’t duplicate this… ‘ballpoint pen’ was it? Very descriptive.” She looked at the tip of the pen briefly before returning her gaze to me.

“Tell me, Mark, why do you think I have to order new books for the library rather than just creating copies from the stacks at another library? Or why farmers continue to sell their produce to unicorns when they could presumably keep making copies of the same apple from a single sample encased in a stasis spell?”

I looked down as I considered. “I hadn’t thought about it, but… I would guess the energy expenditure is too great?”

She smiled. “That’s part of the reason, but there are other limiting factors. The spell Raven used actually made a copy of the ink on the pages at the same time she was reading them, then floating over to a second, blank volume to be recorded there. Yes, the same thing could be done with published books, but Equestrian Law only allows this with ones that are out of print or with compensation to the author and publishing house. Even then you don’t have the correct binding and page count. The result is always more expensive and inferior in comparison to the original volume, so it just isn’t practical.”

Twilight floated the pen between us in her magic. “In the case of this pen, the plastic used is not available here in Equestria, so that would have to be changed in any duplication spell, which is quite complicated and a challenge even for me. What I absolutely cannot do is duplicate the material used for the ‘ball’. ” She pointed to the business end. “That alloy is harder than any material made in the forges of Equestria by a wide margin. Now maybe you can buy a thousand pounds of that metal from the nearest grocery store in your world for a single bit, but here I don’t have a clue what it is made of, much less how to manufacture it. Without that information, it simply cannot be duplicated.”

I frowned. “Well, thanks for explaining that to me. I suppose I’ll just wait for my care package, then.”

“No problem, Mark!” She smiled then caught herself. “Oh, and your test results! Your cells treat lightning differently from other forms of energy. They are instantaneously pumped up to around 90% of their capacity, the excess just passing through them without being absorbed. The surplus energy in the cells bleeds off at an exponential rate until the cell is back to its starting power level in about five seconds.” She started to hop up and down in her excitement. “With some practice and good timing, I’m sure you could apply that extra energy to your spells.”

Obviously, she was contemplating more experiments. I demurred. “And all I’d have to do is get zapped by lightning repeatedly until I don’t freak out every time, then concentrate through the pain to cast a spell in less than a second after I was blinded and struck deaf? I think I’ll pass.”

“No problem, Mark! Doing science with you is always its own reward.”

I smirked. “As in ‘wonderful, beautiful, sensual science’?”

Twilight rolled her eyes but with a smile. “Don’t make me throw you into the lake again.”

“Good point. Give me some time to make a bet with Rainbow Dash.”

We shared a laugh as she trotted to the far wall of her laboratory, which I just realized wasn’t solid after all. There was a door on thick hinges on the side of a very large horizontal cylinder that reached beyond the ceiling and floor. Its width ran the length of the room, perhaps forty feet. I whistled. “What is that?” The slightly curved door reminded me of something from home.

The purple alicorn grinned. “That is Equestria’s first and only wind tunnel that will soon be rated for supersonic flight.”

That’s what it was! The door looked like an airlock or the door to an airplane, except with the extra bits on the outside rather than the inside. I nodded. “I’m impressed. It’s huge!”

“Well, I had to make it big enough to fit my favorite test subject!” I rolled my eyes.

Twilight threw back a couple of latches and pulled the door open. A headphone assembly appeared in her hoof and she put it on her head. “Rainbow has been helping me get the chamber calibrated, but we still have weeks to go before she can try a sonic rainboom inside. In the meantime, want to see what it can do?”

I nodded and moved forward. The walls were very thick and one reason became apparent when I stepped in the tunnel itself. “You have all sorts of ports and probes all around the wind tunnel walls. You put the majority of the instrumentation inside the walls with just the sensors sticking in here, didn’t you?”

I turned to see the door close and latch behind me and I heard her voice come from speakers overhead. “That’s right. The walls are hollow with a reinforced concrete skin on the inside and outside. Maintenance ports are put at regular intervals for current and future needs. Look up here!”

I looked around. The front and rear walls were flat faces of concrete with a wide metal mesh set perhaps two feet in front. Each was about forty feet away, confirming that the wind tunnel extended beyond the length of the laboratory. I looked up a bit to see Twilight waving from beyond a large, clear viewport at the top and front of the cylinder. From the consoles I could see, I bet that was the control room.

I waved back. “So how does it work?”

She smiled. “Pretty well, actually.”

I scoffed. “I said ‘how’, not ‘how well’.”

“Oh! Multiple layers of fields to keep the test subject from getting too close to the walls or ends. I can control the air temperature, humidity, and wind speed including limited shear. Here, let me show you.”

A black circle appeared on the concrete walls on the front and back of the tunnel, behind the screens. Wind began to howl through the chamber and I realized these were portals. The circle expanded as the wind velocity increased. I spread my wings and flew into the wind. As I got used to the feeling of flying in the enclosed space, I naturally drifted around a bit. There was an area about ten feet on each side that felt like natural flight. When my torso wandered too far away from the center, a gradually increasing force pushed me back. The force was on my barrel and legs and did not interfere with my wings in the slightest.

In very little time, I was moving along at about half my top speed. I tried a couple of snap rolls and some intentional bounces off the side fields with turns. I grinned and glanced up. “I see why Rainbow likes this. I’m having a blast! If you could pipe in some music it would be absolutely perfect!”

Apparently, the microphones in the chamber had no trouble picking up my speech. I heard Twilight’s laugh. “Rainbow said the same thing. She’s off making a playlist for her recreation time after we finish the next round of testing. Now just keep flying straight for a bit while I check my readings.”

Soon I had a thought. How had she heard what I said and talked to me when she was closing the door to the chamber?

“Twilight? Is your headset mobile?”

“Yes, it is. I don’t need to be wired into a console.”

“How?”

She grinned at me then walked to a cabinet at the back of the control room. “It’s your trick, Mark. I created a stable dimensional micro-portal between two metal plates. It’s just wide enough for the wire to pass through and with the plates bolted close to the microphone on one end and the console input port on the other, the connection works fine. Electromagnetic forces are not disrupted by the portal, at least over distances of less than a dozen miles or so. A second set of portals transfers the speaker signals to prevent crosstalk.”

“What about over much longer distances? Could that be developed? If so, that would give us the instant communication we need.”

I saw Twilight stop and consider. “Maybe. Permanence is not a problem but I haven’t looked into why the signal degrades.”

“Maybe a boost in signal power?”

“No, the decay falloff is very steep so that would not buy us much more distance. That still gives us a huge number of single point-to-point connections.”

I smiled. “We could send almost all connections through a switchboard. Trained ponies would connect incoming calls to any desired destination. A tone sent through the line to the receiving party would notify them to come to their microphone and speaker to take the call.”

The alicorn tapped her chin with a hoof. “We’d have to make more than one switchboard location. Can’t have a single point of failure take down every possible connection. I could even create a rotary switch for each unit so it could connect to multiple switchboards.” She looked down. “It’s feasible. I’ll get to work right away on fixing the attenuation problem; maybe a grounded shield for the signal cable.”

I shouted, “Not right away! I don’t want to be here for hours! Can I be done now?”

Twilight laughed in that special way that made me know she was in full-blown science mode right now. Every objection would be considered an attempt at humor. “But Mark, I’m not done showing you all the features! Do you want to try flying through a fog bank at speed?”

“Done enough of that already today. And I don’t have my flight goggles.”

“Then I guess we just have one more experiment to run before we call it quits.”

When she didn’t say anything more, I looked up. She was standing next to a huge, double-poled knife switch on the back wall of the control room. The DANGER symbol and universal lightning bolt logo gave me no illusions about what it controlled. “Why the buck do you even have one of those?!”

She reached up to take hold of the switch handle.

“Twilight! Don’t you dare!”

I could see her manic grin from here. Between that and the reflective goggles, lab coat, and rubber hoof gloves, she could have just walked off the set of a monster movie. “Awwwww… but Rainbow gets all frazzled out by lightning so she couldn’t do this test. And you just shrug it off like nothing! How else am I supposed to get this calibration done?”

I felt very vulnerable now, realizing that I simply could not leave the wind tunnel until that mare allowed me to. “Twilight, that’s enough. Getting hit by lightning hurts, well… a bit. In any case, it’s quite unpleasant! Let me out of here now, please.”

“Hey, Mark?”

“Hey, what?”

“When was the last time you were worried about your heat?”

I stopped to consider as I drifted around the center of the wind tunnel, my wings compensating automatically for changes in speed and position. “Right before I got my cocoa, I think. I’ve been too busy and involved with everything else to worry about it or even notice it.”

She came closer to the window. “That’s really the best way to get through this week.”

I was silent for a time. “All that mad scientist stuff was just to keep my mind off of me?”

“Pretty much. I actually do need to test the lightning system, but I’m trying to schedule time with the best lightning wrangler around: a pegasus stallion named Blue Arc from the Cloudsdale Weather Factory. Obviously, that won’t be for at least a couple of weeks. While getting readings from you would be helpful, I won’t have a baseline until he works with me to get the system calibrated.”

I glared up at her. She smiled sheepishly and said, “I’ll get you out of there now. Powering down.”

“Hold on, Twilight.” She looked back up. “I don’t mind a single shot, if you think that would truly be helpful. Like I said, it is not a pleasant feeling.”

“Thank you, Mark! I’ll owe you one! Let me just get the recording instruments ready. Oh, and to prevent results affected by forewarning, I’m not going to tell you when I generate the bolt.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better!”

“Sorry!” I saw her start moving around to another console in the room.

I stared straight forward and waited. My thoughts wandered to what she had named me earlier: a lightning wrangler. So apparently I could exert my will on an elemental force of nature in some sort of pony magic way. I wondered how that would work, maybe just imagining—

I ran out of time to think about it as lightning seemed to appear instantaneously between the left and right walls. I was the connecting point in the middle. For the first flash, I felt the arc bounce off the tips of my primaries and connect a few feet in front of me. I saw a ball of white energy form for the briefest of moments before the structure collapsed and the subsequent two flashes went through me, with the familiar jolting discomfort bordering on pain.

I only faltered for a moment before recovering. I called out, hearing the joy in my voice. “Did you see that? I think I almost had control of it for a moment!”

The alicorn smiled down at me. “Actually, I was looking at my instruments, but there was a definite change after the first bolt.”

“Do you think we can get Blue Arc to give me lessons?”

She shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Would be a great thing for you to learn. I’m almost as curious as you about what your cutie mark signifies. Want to try it again?”

It didn’t take me long to decide. “Nah. I’d rather get taught by someone who knows what they’re doing. There’s only so much preventable danger I want in my life right now.”

“Sensible. Powering down.”

I watched the portals shrink to nothing with an accompanying decrease in wind speed until the air was still again. Moments later, I heard the latches moving on the door and Twilight pulled it open. She looked in with a grin, her lab coat and goggles still on, giving her the mad scientist look. An adorable one, but still, quite mad. “Ready to push the boundaries of scientific knowledge even further, Mark?”

I let out a huge yawn as I exited the wind tunnel. “Sorry, Twilight. I just can’t keep up with you and your boundless enthusiasm for the subject. Maybe in the morning we can continue, but first, I think I’m going to need a nap.”

Breakfast next morning was late, but I had a good sleep thanks to an herbal brew Twilight gave me that eased the hormonally induced effects of the Season. Of course, the rest of the mares had a head start on me and I knew that worse was to come. The education that Twilight had given me last night had certainly enlightened me intellectually, but as she had warned, the actual experience was something you could not completely prepare for. At least I wasn’t a teenage filly dealing with puberty at the same time.

Nevertheless, I had decisions to make, some more embarrassing than others. It didn’t matter how many times Twilight reassured me that it was all perfectly normal – if you grow up as a male human, this was always going to be weird. Naturally, I procrastinated and sought out something to distract me. A certain changeling proved to be quite useful for that purpose.

Thorax was in pony form, but as an adult mare out of deference to the Season. Not that we had anything to worry about otherwise as changelings weren’t inter-fertile with ponies. I suggested that perhaps this would be a good time to visit some of the female citizens of Ponyville as they would likely appreciate anything to get their minds off their heat. Only one thing made me hesitate – it was still pouring rain outside. The storm was scheduled to continue until the evening so there was no way I could avoid getting drenched just crossing the street.

Twilight to the rescue! She teleported us all to the town hall where there was a big social event being held for the mares who didn’t have other plans to deal with the Season. I was amused by the look on Thorax’s face when he got hit by the flood of emotions in the hall until I caught the scent of several dozen horny mares. I wondered if this was a good idea after all but I was committed now. Fortunately, Thorax managed to keep me distracted too.

The changeling told me that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had done their bit for the past week, getting up to their usual hijinks but accompanied by Thorax wherever they went. In just the five days that I was back in Canterlot, the sighs of resignation and exasperated comments went from “Those three are at it again” to “Those four”. I admit that it wasn’t the way that I thought that the citizens of Ponyville would get used to having a bug-pony in their midst, but whatever worked was fine by me.

This event was different though. No adolescent mayhem at least. Now that the ice was well and truly broken, I figured that it was about time that Thorax mingled with the adults more. Having retained the gossamer wings, it was obvious that the mare was, in fact, a changeling in an alter ego, but that familiar form made it a lot easier for ponies to relate to Thorax. It only needed one exceptionally curious mare to start up a conversation and others began joining in. It wasn’t long before our resident shapeshifter was the center of attention for a couple of dozen ardent listeners. I would have probably been part of that crowd for a lot longer if Rarity hadn’t turned up then.

The alabaster unicorn looked at me with wide eyes and a slowly growing smile. “Mark, darling! Whatever are you doing here like this?”

“Bit of a long story there, Rares. Short version – I had to change to mare form and then got stuck. Twilight’s prevailing opinion is that hormonal changes are preventing me from transforming back to a stallion and I won’t be able to do so until my heat is over.”

“Oh, dear. Has Twilight explained what you’re in for?”

I shuddered. “In graphic detail.”

She gave me a long look before appearing to come to a decision. “Mark, dear, I realize that this must be a bit frightening for somepony who not only has never experienced this before but also never expected to know what it is like. However, this can also be a time of wonderful revelations and growing bonds. Many mares take advantage of the Season to grow closer to the ones that they love. If I may be so bold as to say so, I think that you and I have something special between us. Would you do me the honor of spending some time with me? I can promise that I will be most considerate of your first experience with another mare.”

I gaped at Rarity in shock. I’m not an idiot – I knew she liked me for more reasons than to model her fashions, but it still came as a surprise for her to come right out and say it. But what astonished me most was that I liked what I was hearing. I hadn’t felt that way when Twilight had been listing off the alternatives for dealing with being in heat, but as soon as Rarity had suggested it, something lit up inside of me. A part of me was asking if I would feel this way if I wasn’t a mare and hopped up on hormones, but the rest of me was telling it to get lost. The beautiful unicorn made me feel wonderful when I was modelling for her and I had no doubt that she could do the same for me in other ways. The only qualm that I had was if I would prove good enough for the mare who had done so much for me. However, telling her no was virtually out of the question.

I licked my suddenly dry lips. “Rarity, the honor would be mine.”

Her face lit up. “Thank you, Mark. When would you prefer to come home with me?”

“Well… I’m kind of looking out for Thorax at the moment,” I said, pointing a hoof in the changeling’s direction.

The fashionista appeared to notice the center of attention of one of the biggest groups for the first time. “So I see. Our newest citizen seems to have hit it off quite well.”

“I credit the Crusaders with some of that success.”

Rarity giggled. “Oh my, yes. It was a bit hard to miss what those four got up to this past week. With Thorax’s presence revealed, all restraints came off, and that’s always a dangerous thing when it comes to the Cutie Mark Crusaders .”

“No argument from me there, but the results were worth it. Look at him, Rares – he’s happier than he’s probably been in his entire life.”

Rarity snickered. “It’s a good thing that he’s taken a female form right now or else the mares might be making him even ‘happier’,” she said with a smirk.

I chuckled. “Are you sure that anypony would be that desperate?”

The unicorn gave me a flat look. “Mark, dear, half the mares here would bed him right this moment if he was in stallion form. The other half would do the same a few days from now. A lover who can’t get them pregnant when they’re in heat? That’s a dream date, darling.”

I could tell that Rarity was perfectly serious, and it was a strong indicator of what lengths these horny mares would go to when in Season. And, God help me, I was one of them! “Rarity, do me a favor?”

“Yes, Mark?”

“Don’t leave my side while we’re here. I think I need you to save me from myself.”

The unicorn gave a rich, bubbling laugh. “No need to be such a drama queen, darling, but I will nevertheless accede to your wishes.”

Rarity and I spent the next couple of hours there during which I gave her the full story behind my gender change and subsequent arrival in Ponyville. She was somewhat concerned about Fluttershy’s unexpected transformation but, like Twilight, suspected that she would have come to her senses with the dawn. If so, nothing would stop her from coming back to Ponyville to tend to her animals. And if not, her friends would go out and search for her. As I had found out for myself, Flutterbat was a creature of passion but not terribly much thought, so we had to make sure that she did not get herself into trouble. Speaking of which though…

“So, basically you’re telling me that Fluttershy’s condition is what drove her to force herself upon me?”

“Goodness me, yes! We are not animals, Mark. Even the most… inflamed mare still understands that no means no. However, it’s due to the difficulty of making that decision while under the influence of strong hormones that we keep the sexes apart. Better to avoid the problem than exacerbate it.”

I frowned. “Then if Fluttershy’s actions were beyond the norm, Crimson should have recognized that and acted when I asked for help.”

Rarity bit her lower lip as she considered my words, then she sighed. “Far be it for me to be critical of a Royal Guard in the performance of his duties, but I would have to agree.”

“Thanks, Rarity – your point of view clarified the situation better than Twilight’s more clinical approach.” I scowled. “I’m going to have some strong words with my supposed bodyguard when this is over.”

“Don’t be too harsh, darling. After all, he’s only a stallion,” she said with a small smirk.

I stared at her for a long moment before I started chuckling. I had no other way of responding to that without shooting myself in the hoof.

As it turned out, we didn’t need to worry about Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus turned up at the town hall, dripping wet from the unceasing rainfall. Rarity spotted her first and nudged me. Fluttershy had already spotted us and was making a beeline our way. I prudently put Rarity between her and me. The fashionista merely rolled her eyes at my antics and addressed the approaching mare.

“Fluttershy, darling! It’s so good to see you here.”

“Umm, thank you, Rarity, but… umm… if you don’t mind, I would like to… er… talk with Mark. If that’s okay with you?”

“Do you wish for me to leave you two alone?”

“Oh, no! That won’t be necessary. Umm… has Mark told you what happened?”

“Yes, dear. It’s okay – go ahead.”

Fluttershy looked at me with shimmering eyes and I realized that those were tears brimming and not rainwater. “I’m so sorry, Mark. I didn’t know that would happen to me. I hate what I did to you.”

Reassured that my friend was back to almost normal, estrus aside, I bent down to give her a hug. “It’s alright, Flutters. Twilight told me about the magical accident and how it affected you. I always thought those cute fangs of yours were a bit odd.” Considering how shy she was, a grin was a rare sight on her face, but I had glimpsed those unusual canines on a couple of occasions. They weren’t full-on sharp fangs but had more of a point than standard equine teeth. I figured that she might have a bit of thestral in her ancestry until Twilight had explained their origin last night.

“But it’s not alright, Mark! I remember everything now. I tried to force myself upon you and that was unforgivable.” She started wringing her hooves.

“Please stop, Fluttershy. You aren’t to blame for your condition. If anyone is at fault, it’s me.”

Both mares’ eyes widened in surprise at that statement.

“What?” the pegasus asked in bewilderment. “No, that’s wrong.”

I sighed. “Look – I knew how much you desired me as a stallion but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you that I wasn’t interested in you that way. If I had done the right thing and spoke up earlier to make that clear, you would not have had the urge to hunt me down. Fluttershy – you’re my very good friend, but that’s all.”

The yellow pegasus sagged, her eyes downcast. “No, I should have realized that from the start. I’m just a stupid mare with a crush on somepony who never shared my feelings. I’m… so sorry.” She then turned and dashed for the door.

“Flutters!” I called out to her, taking a step in her direction.

Rarity put a restraining hoof on my chest. “No, Mark. It’s not you that she needs right now.”

I watched as Fluttershy headed back out into the pouring rain and I realized that she was right. But perhaps I knew someone who did fill the bill. The catch was trying to get in contact with him. I had no clue, but perhaps someone else did. “Rarity – any idea how to get in contact with Discord?”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

The incident at the cabin obviously isn't really over as yet but you'll have to wait until next chapter to find out the repercussions. At least Thorax's life is looking up.

If I had thought about it earlier, we could have written a Hearth's Warming episode that could have been published now. Alas, it was not to be.

Chapter 32 - 'Tis The Season

Rarity shook her head. “Mark, Discord is not someone who is simply found. He shows up when and if he desires to.” She frowned in thought. “Well, actually, since all of us now embody the aspect of Harmony that we represent, I suppose the six or seven of us could summon him, but I doubt Fluttershy is in any mood to participate right now.”

“I really would like to talk to him, for Fluttershy’s sake.” My wings drooped a bit. “I was hoping it would be no more complicated than saying ‘Discord, Discord, Discord’.”

“I AM NOT BETELGEUSE!” yelled a familiar voice behind me, making me jump and poomf out my wings in panic. I spun around to see the Lord of Chaos frowning down at me. He sniffed the air a few times, looked at Rarity and me, then shrunk back slightly and slapped a black gas mask over his face. His exaggerated inhales and exhales echoed around the room, they were so loud. He stood up with his back straight and held out his clawed hand. “Pinkie Pie. I am your father.”

“If I hadn’t met some of her family, I could believe that,” I deadpanned. “Give it up, Discord. No one else gets that reference here. And besides, I don’t think pony mares being in heat would have any effect on you.”

The gasmask turned into a thick, black snake which quickly crawled into one of his ears and disappeared. “First of all, human, I’ll have you remember that I am a ‘draconequus,’ not a ‘dracosapien’. I see no reason why I can’t use the time of Season to be all snippy and catty like the rest of you mares.”

“Because you’re male.”

He blinked, held up a claw as if to make a point, then seemed to think better of it. “Well, you have me there. I forgot what gender I was in this dimension. So sue me.”

Before I could speak, his eyes narrowed and he continued. “On to the second point. Are you trying to tell me that you haven’t told all of your friends here the space-faring adventure that defined the youth of your entire generation?”

Rarity lifted her head and smirked. “It sounds like you have been holding out on us, Mark. I believe story-time will be on tonight’s list of activities.”

Discord slithered next to me and mock-whispered in my ear. “I forgive you not mentioning the prequels… unless you changed it to have Jar Jar as the evil Sith mastermind.”

The fashionista furrowed her brow. “Sith? Mastermind?”

I punched Discord in the neck. “Way to go, Spoiler-King.”

He pulled back and clapped his hand and paw together. “Sorry.” He held out a paw. “Look, I’ll give you an edited screenplay for the sequels if that’s any help. But you have to promise to tell the good episodes first.”

None of this was what I called him here to talk about, but with Rarity looking on expectantly, I nodded my acquiescence.

Discord beamed. “Good show, Glen or Glenda! Now that that is settled, I simply must get back—”

I held up a hoof. “STOP!” When he refrained from snapping his talons, I turned to Rarity. “Would you mind giving us some privacy, please?”

“Not at all, darling. You boys can, of course, keep your secrets. I don’t mind in the least.” The alabaster mare jauntily trotted out of the room with both of us watching her go.

Discord leaned close. “She minds. Good luck keeping anything a secret from her.”

“Don’t I know it!” I turned to look the draconequus in the eyes. “It’s time.”

He blinked and frowned.

“I just told Fluttershy that I was not interested in her as more than as just a friend. She left in tears, running right out in the thunderstorm to go home. If you were planning to do something special for her, now is the time.”

His head snapped back. “Oh… oh, I see.” He fidgeted a bit, looking unsure of himself. “Well, I just have one more thing to request and then…” He teleported away, then a rift appeared and his head poked through. I could see the place he was in was perhaps a valley of some sort – and it was sunny there. “Thanks,” he said, then pulled his head back through as the tear in space disappeared.

A few seconds later, a stack of three-ring binders appeared from the same spot and dropped straight to the ground. I opened the top binder and read the title page. “Star Wars Shooting Script for Episode I With Improvements As Voted On By Alt.Fan.Starwars.”

I considered as I looked through the binders. Each spine bore a Roman numeral from one to six. I probably could recite most of Episodes IV through VI from memory, but it was helpful to have these so I wouldn’t be transcribing for ages. Phil and I had watched them almost religiously during our grade school years. We had even acted out some of the scenes with cardboard tubes, plastic models, and other cheap props with our active imaginations filling in the blanks. I guess I was going to be the storyteller for the next six nights. I’d have to review my memories and make notes to prepare for the first three… I wonder if Twilight would let me borrow the ballpoint pen for a while?

After stashing the binders in my saddlebags, I rejoined Rarity and we participated in the various diversions. They proved very effective and I had little trouble with the growing symptoms of my heat. In fact, I might have been there longer except for Thorax. Not that he was causing a problem – far from it. No, I was actually worried that he was overdosing on positive emotions again. I had no idea what that would do for a changeling that was used to only subsistence feeding, but I felt a little caution was called for. At an opportune moment, I got the drone’s attention and took him (or her since still in mare form) aside.

“Thorax, I think you’re getting a bit ditzy again.”

Thorax grinned from ear to ear, and believe me, that’s quite impressive on a changeling. “It’s okay – I feel great!”

“You did yesterday also, then you crashed. By the way, what’s with the sparkling wings? Fashion tip from one of the mares?”

Thorax craned his/her head around to look at the appendages which were actually scintillating quite a lot. “Huh! That’s new. I didn’t do that.”

I frowned. “All the more reason to call it quits for the day. Better come with me back to the castle.”

“Alright. Let me say goodbye to the ladies first.”

I watched as the bug-pony went from mare to mare to say farewell and was impressed by the number of hugs received. The speed that the inhabitants of Ponyville adapted to novel situations was enough to give me whiplash, but the results were worth it. I briefly wondered if the Season had anything to do with it, but that would be devaluing the ponies’ genuine friendliness to the changeling. When Thorax had finished making the rounds and joined back with Rarity and me, we headed out.

When the white unicorn had arrived earlier, it did not occur to me that she had turned up completely dry despite the fact that she couldn’t teleport. After assuring me that we did not need Twilight’s services, we stepped out into the rain. Not a drop hit us as Rarity skillfully diverted all the rain around us with her telekinesis. While she didn’t know very many spells, she was masterful at manipulating objects magically. She even avoided the numerous puddles and arrived at the castle without a splash upon her. Neither Thorax nor I had been as diligent with where we had placed our hooves, but we were otherwise nearly as dry. I recommended that Thorax head up to his room and take a nap while digesting his food, and he cheerfully agreed.

As soon as the changeling was out of sight, Rarity turned to me with a coy smile. “Finally, a chance to be by ourselves. I can’t tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to this, darling.”

I giggled. I didn’t mean to but I did. I think it must have been a mood swing because I was feeling a little silly. “So, my beauteous damsel, what is your desire?”

Her laugh was like music to my ears. “Mark, dear, you have no idea.”

That was true, but she soon taught me.

Let me tell you that a stallion cannot truly completely understand a mare without becoming one. Rarity showed me so much that afternoon and I believe I still have much to learn, but she opened my eyes to the many delights of the female gender that I would never have known but for the strange turns my life had taken. Through it all, she remained a perfect lady and only hinted of what was to come over the next several days as my heat progressed, but it was more than enough to thrill and delight me. I only hoped that I was a good student so that I could reciprocate adequately.

We didn’t overdo things that first time. In fact, we spent some time just talking about ourselves until Spike knocked on the door of my room and called out that dinner was ready. We came down to the dining room to find Twilight and my other friends barring Fluttershy already there. We got a few knowing looks before we settled down to mundane chat about our day after explaining the yellow pegasus’ absence. Thorax was there too and back in natural form, although his wings still sparkled. While he got his energy needs from consuming emotions, the changeling still had to ingest water and the occasional bit of physical food to maintain his body in perfect health. He could enjoy one of Spike’s meals almost as much as we ponies.

We discussed the evening’s entertainment and I brought up the Star Wars stories. During our discussions, we all decided that the most entertaining way to tell the story would be to give everypony a copy of the script and have them act out the major characters. It was agreed that we’d do one each night, starting tomorrow. After dinner, Twilight devoured the Episode IV script in a matter of seconds and used her magic to quickly assemble action figures (they aren’t dolls!), small models of spaceships and illusions of the more important set pieces, quizzing me the whole time about the details. Rarity, of course, asked about the wardrobe of each important character and was sketching like mad. After we finished the first three, Twilight and I would look over the prequel trilogy of scripts and decide if they were worth the same level of effort to re-enact. I swore that this world would never know the idiocy of midichlorians!

Discord hadn’t told me that the binders could play the full orchestral film score and special effects sounds! I wonder if he could supply some lightsabers, too. That would be so cool!

I awoke the next morning sweating profusely. It was not for nothing that they called this condition being ‘in heat’. I took a long, cold shower. I despise cold showers, but I needed it more than I hated it. I stood under the icy flow until I was sure I was in control of my urges once more before I headed downstairs for my breakfast.

I got a lot of sympathy from Twilight but apparently, this was nothing unusual for a first-timer. I knew I would be taking up Rarity’s offer to help cool me down again later. The time for subtleties was past. I was a big strong mare in the throes of estrus and I knew I needed more drastic treatment. God knows how I was going to get through several days of this!

Rarity took me to bed that afternoon. That’s when I discovered that a mare could be a tigress too. This time when I was confronted by a passionate female, it was because both of us wanted it. It made an enormous difference. She fanned my ardor but then satisfied it, or at least for that night. Whatever happened in the future, I knew things would forever be changed between us. I think it was then that I knew that I would never be returning to Earth even if the correct universe was located. My heart had been lost right here.

I continued to let Twilight run tests on me in an effort to keep distracted from physical needs. We, therefore, had plenty of time to chat about many subjects. One of the surprising things that I learned was that Applejack and Rainbow Dash normally spent their Seasons together. Considering how hyper-competitive they were and the insults they regularly let fly at each other, I found this quite puzzling and said so to Twilight.

She giggled and replied, “Don’t you realize they’re like that because they are so alike? Both are strong-willed and talented mares and it takes somepony of a similar nature to cope with them. Those two are probably the most enthusiastic lovers in Equestria when the heat is upon them. If one of them had been a stallion, they’d have a couple of foals by now and more if they had become friends years earlier.”

Despite that, I could not picture Dash as part of the Apple family, but it amused me thinking of a pegasus foal eagerly working beside her earth pony parent in the orchards.

I asked the purple alicorn if she had a special someone to share her Season with. She just blushed and mumbled something about extending the boundaries of friendship before clamming up. I had myself an extra little project to keep my mind off the urges.

Regardless, once dinner was finished, everyone had taken care of their ‘other urges’ at some point during the day so it was showtime!

Two nights and lots of hot cocoa later, the Elements (minus Fluttershy who still had not returned) and I had just finished re-enacting our third stage play, Return of the Jedi. Twilight’s sets had become more elaborate and Rarity’s costumes had grown more intricate each night. We did the live retelling on a small stage in Friendship Castle with an ecstatic Thorax as the lone person in the audience.

Rainbow Dash was an outstanding Han Solo – dialing back on her brashness to exude more of her natural confidence instead. Pinkie Pie showed great acting range to pull off the evolution of Luke Skywalker. Rarity got into the Leia Organa character, to the point of replicating her trademark cinnamon bun earmuff hairstyle. She may have broken character a bit during the trash compactor scene, but it was much to the enjoyment of everyone there. Twilight played Obi-Wan Kenobi and later, Emperor Palpatine. Maybe her leadership experience and acting lessons with Trixie paid off because she was more than passable. Applejack got tired very quickly at everypony falling all over themselves every time she belted out Chewbacca’s “lines”, so she got the roles of Lando Calrissian and Admiral “It’s A Trap!” in the later episodes. I played the two robots and Darth Vader, possibly camping it up a bit more than necessary. Bit parts were played by whoever didn’t have a major character on stage at the moment.

My favorite and least favorite parts turned out to be the same scene. It was somewhat surreal and cathartic picking up a screaming Twilight Sparkle and carrying her across the stage, all the while trying to ignore the stinging arcs of real lightning spewing into me from her horn. I might have gotten a bit cross at the treatment because my toss onto the mattress “pit” a few feet away was a bit strong. She bounced off of the top with a “Yeek!” and careened onto the stage floor. After Rainbow’s laughter died down, she called out “And the Emperor perished with a ‘Yeek’! ”

At the after-party, thrown by Pinkie, of course, we were all relaxing and discussing our favorite parts of the story and I was being peppered with questions about the prequels, which I honestly said I couldn’t answer with the multiple changes made to them by people unknown to me. We had all missed Fluttershy, but Twilight had recorded everything on her speak-and-say crystals so she could get caught up later.

Speaking of the pegasus, Fluttershy chose that moment to walk in, one foreleg holding onto Discord’s clawed hand. As everypony crowded around the pair, I noticed that Discord looked happy but particularly subdued. Fluttershy just looked plain happy. In response to everyone’s queries, Fluttershy cleared her throat. “Friends, I want you all to know that Discord is now my special somepony.”

With a different group of friends, that might have caused an uncomfortable pause, but with this bunch, everypony gave their congratulations immediately. Both of them were obviously extremely fond of each other. After being the last to get close enough to give the yellow mare a hug, I reached a hoof up to Discord and he obligingly gave it a bump with his closed fist.

“So why doncha tell us how all that happened, Flutters,” said Applejack.

Fluttershy squeezed up against Discord as everypony lay down to listen. “Well, you see… When I left the town hall a few days ago, I was very sad.” She looked up to see lots of nodding heads. Everypony here knew why so there was no reason to go into it again. “And after I had been home for a while, crying to myself, Discord came into my bedroom, asking for my help.”

She looked up and gave the draconequus a proud smile. “It seemed he had made friends over the last month somewhere in the mountains outside of Equestria. He was scheduled to take care of the kirin foals while the adults tended to some ritual of theirs.”

Twilight said. “But… kirin are just creatures of legend. They aren’t real.”

The Element of Kindness actually smirked at the alicorn. “If you say so, Twilight.” Oh, my. Some sass from the butter-yellow pegasus. She was feeling better. “Anyway, there were going to be so many foals that he needed my assistance. But then I remembered my heat and didn’t want that to affect the whole village. Discord said he could neutralize it for 24 hours, warning me that it would hit twice as hard after that. So, of course, I said yes, I would help.”

Her eyes got a far-away look. “The little dears were an absolute delight and I loved playing with them and helping them build crafts. I also interacted with some of the adults a bit, although that was hard because none of them could speak a word or even laugh out loud. Still, they made it clear that they appreciated me being there and could come back with Discord any time.” Her smile stopped and she looked around at her friends. “Honestly, the hardest part was not talking the whole time, but I think they really liked that I respected their customs.”

I looked at Discord. He shrugged. Apparently, this was a mystery to him too or was outside his desire to know.

Fluttershy looked down. “So after Discord brought us back, I was very, very happy and, ummm….” She pulled Discord’s clawed hand closer and blushed. I looked up to see Discord was doing the same, suddenly finding something very interesting on the ceiling. Fluttershy continued. “I… well… we decided to be a couple.” I had to chortle a bit. That had to be the gentlest way I could have imagined that news being delivered.

The two got a fresh round of congratulations and Discord gave me a wink and a smile.

The Element of Kindness blushed even more, getting pink all the way down her neck. “So… Discord stayed with me to help me through the next few days…”

Rainbow snickered. “Just with feeding the animals, right?” I didn’t think it would be possible, but Fluttershy blushed even more. Thorax, for his part, looked confused.

“Discord let me sit on his chest and watch some entertainment from Mark’s world. He’d put these silver disks in his mouth and moving images would appear on his eyes while the sound came out of his ears. This really helped me stay distracted during my Season.”

I put my hoof over Rainbow’s mouth before she could make any more crass remarks. “What movies did you see?”

“Oh! Some cartoons with talking animals, some nature documentaries and three of his favorites about adventures on planets far, far away. Even though most of the characters were bipedal, the stories were really exciting!”

All eyes turned to me. I grinned. “Well, you’re in luck. The girls and I finished acting out that trilogy and we’re just about to start the next three, which take place before the ones you saw. Would you two like to join in?”

Discord nodded. “I can do the music and special effects.”

Fluttershy looked a bit nervous for the first time today. “Really? You want me to perform on stage?”

Twilight spoke up. “The only ones here will be your special somepony, us mares…” She looked at me with an arched eyebrow. “…and mare wannabes.” I rolled my eyes and ignored the laughs from around me. The purple alicorn looked back at the pegasus mare. “It’s just us friends, Fluttershy. The only difference is that you’re reading from a script. Oh, and Thorax will be the audience.”

For the first time, Fluttershy seemed to notice the changeling. “Oh, hello, Thorax.” She came up close to him. “I haven’t seen you since the wedding. Your wings look different now.”

Thorax put on a huge smile and spread them fully. “I know, right? I thought you might like them with your cutie mark and all. No idea why this happened, but I’m very happy with them!”

“How interesting! Do they feel different? Did it hurt when they came in?”

“Really, they feel the same and I can fly even better. They transformed at the party! I didn’t even know until Mark pointed them out.”

Fluttershy smiled at the changeling. “May I touch them?”

“Sure!” Thorax moved forward a bit so Fluttershy could run her hoof along the length, which caused him to giggle. “OK, maybe not exactly the same. They tickle more!” That got a delighted laugh out of the pegasus.

Twilight walked closer to get the mare’s attention. “Fluttershy, would you like to join us for the next play? And can Thorax stay in the audience?”

“Well… yes, I guess that would be fine. Umm… what part should I play?”

I looked at Discord and he nodded. “How about young Anakin Skywalker?”

All of us mares gathered over the script for a read-through but after an hour it finally became apparent even to me that this was going to be a gossip session. Maybe the show would go on, but it wouldn’t be tonight.

I excused myself and wandered off to find Discord in the library, lounging in a copy of the same leather chair that brought up memories of what could have been. A Rubik’s cube floated in the air before him. His eyes were glowing white and his hand and paw were gesturing in the air. Each gesture was followed by a twist on one of the six faces of the puzzle.

I sat down next to him. “Finding it to be a challenge?”

He nodded. “I’ve put my perspective inside the puzzle and remapped the inside faces to correspond to the living room of my house. The context is almost as distracting as your scent.”

I smiled and waited for him to finish. After another few minutes, he snapped a claw and the unfinished puzzle disappeared and his eyes returned to normal. “I’ll rearrange my room when I get back if I don’t decide I like it better this way.” He then looked at me levelly for some time.

“You want something.”

I smiled. “Granted. And what do you think that might be?”

“I’m not sending you back to your home.”

“I don’t want to go back.”

That got his eyes to widen. “All these changes happening on top of one another… curious.” He tapped his chin. “And what brought about this change of heart, may I ask?”

I sighed. “It’s taken a long time… almost a year now… but I’ve made Equestria my home. All but one of my friends are here. I have a fulfilling job where I can make a difference, which is more than I can say about what I used to have. I know that I can—”

Discord interrupted. “You got laid.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Projecting a little, aren’t we?”

He blinked and let out a long laugh. “Touché, Monsieur Marcus.”

I nodded and had a new thought. “Now that that’s out of the way and no longer on the table, would you mind telling me why that was something you were unwilling or unable to do? In simple four-dimensional terms I might be able to understand?”

He regarded me through lidded eyes. “It is true, you know. You do not think like a pony. Twilight Sparkle will attack a problem from many angles, but she simply lacks your… perspective.”

I waited, curious if he would continue but finding myself no longer emotionally invested with the answer.

The draconequus leaned back and steepled his clawed hand and paw, which I didn’t think would be possible if I hadn’t seen it. “At my power level, human, it may appear that I can do whatever I wish with no consequences. I could return the entire galaxy to a state of pure Chaos – turn everything into a soup of gluon-quark plasma just like mom’s old place.” He jerked a bit than stared at me. “You didn’t hear that.”

I cocked my head. “Hear what?”

“Good man.” Discord nodded then resumed his far-away stare. “But the fact of the matter is that this universe, and especially this planet requires a balance.”

“Otherwise known as Harmony,” I said.

He nodded. “I’ve been knocked down by the purveyors of Order enough times to get that through my head. Only by maintaining a balance between Chaos and Order with my actions am I allowed to exist here. If I sent you back, it would be putting Equestria off center again, and my happiness might be forfeit directly or indirectly.” He looked at me with a hard stare. “And I’ve grown rather attached to my friends and acquaintances here. I no more want their molecules to fly apart than I desire the merciless Order of absolute zero to render them lifeless statues.”

I nodded. “That would apply to bringing my friend Phil here too, wouldn’t it?”

He snorted. “You mean besides stealing him away from his life there? Yes. Even if he came willingly, I cannot foresee what the ripples would be.” He frowned. “You may not believe it, but you have been a force for Order here in Equestria since your arrival. Acknowledgment by the Element of Friendship, your current form, and your position in the Royal Court are no accidents. When the Sisters were taken from us, Harmony provided a replacement.”

I stared at him for several seconds. “You said ‘taken’.”

Discord nodded. “As much as you would like to accept all the blame for their loss, I simply can’t agree. Celestia and Luna are resourceful and I have known them to be well prepared for many eventualities. Also, when immortal creatures die, there are signs that can be read by those that know how. In addition, I have consulted with entities that exist between dimensions that would likely know of their passing. Add to that the timing of your not-very-coincidental arrival and I am increasingly convinced that their disappearance is not of their will.”

I considered this and thought of Raven’s ongoing research. “Which unfortunately leaves most of us twiddling our non-existent thumbs until we learn something new.”

Discord cocked his head. I decided to reciprocate his trust by sharing with him. “Raven Inkwell is looking through Celestia’s diaries for clues.”

A huge smile split the draconequus’ face. “Oh, ho, ho! Do let me know if our dear princess wrote about what she really thought of my roguish charm and good looks.”

I waved a hoof absently. “You didn’t make the top hundred.”

Discord’s smile faltered. I smirked. “Actually, since we’re not on the subject, by the ironclad rules that bind us in the Interdimensional Brotherhood of Bro’s, I am calling on you to repay the boon you now owe me by letting me talk to Phil.”

His eyes narrowed. “I’ll have you know that the I.B.B. kicked my flank out centuries ago for exactly that reason… not trying to pay back my obligations until the debtee was dead for generations and as you know…” He winked. “…death cancels all debts. And I’ve already told you about how balance doesn’t allow me to just go out and do something lopsidedly sweet and nice and feel-goody, especially across dimensions.”

I grinned. “Who said anything about being nice?”

Discord lowered his head down to my level, a smile spreading across his lips. “Are we talking about a prank here? If so, I just might be interested.”

I pulled my lips into a carnivorous smile. “Oh, it’s been a while. I’ve been saving up.”

I shuffled towards the familiar pegasus and unicorn mirror frame. The space around me was completely featureless and black, but I could tell from my gnarled, dark hands in front of me that I was bathed in a spotlight of some sort. Through the glass, I could see Phil’s room, with my friend asleep on his bed. As I approached the mirror boundary, I started moaning piteously. Gradually, I made my cries louder and louder. Phil turned once under his sheets, but that’s it. Discord had made it clear that I couldn’t pass anything through the portal because the glass was still in place. Frowning, I had to settle for my backup plan.

“Valerie McPherson has your phone number.”

Phil shot out of bed, his eyes wide and scanning for threats. His panicked breathing stopped when he caught sight of me.

Showtime.

I raised my hands, lifting some of the masses of dreadlocks that cascaded in bunches off of my head. “Youuuuuuuu, Phillippe Martine. Youuuuuuuu cannot see them now, man, but you carry with you the chains you forged in life, the same as I, Bob Marley.”

Phil narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

I continued. “I forged these bonds dread by dread, of mine own free will, man; just as you have. Every time you listen to elevator muzak or light jazz instead of reggae and death metal, you form another ponderous weight to plague you for the rest of time. You must understand this one and only warning! Oooooooooo!” I waved the dreads in my hands in a manner I hoped was threatening.

“Hi, Mark.”

I stopped moving and spoke again. “How did you know it was me?”

“You’ve been giving me shit since seventh grade when I got Bob and Jacob Marley confused in Mr. Fessler’s English Lit class. Besides, you look more like Cousin Itt than Rasta right now. I’m dreaming all this, aren’t I?”

I transformed into my pegasus form and waved a hoof. “Why don’t you find out for sure? Go ahead and pinch yourself. No, go ahead and slug yourself in the head as hard as you can.”

He snorted and then smiled. “So where have you been?”

I pointed with a hoof, “Yeah, we’ll get to that, but what the hell is up with those PJ bottoms? Pod racers? No one hates Episode I more than you.”

He laughed. “Trust you to talk about the important stuff first after being gone for eleven months. My mom gave these to me for Christmas.”

My eyes went wide and I looked into his. “So she’s feeling better? I remember when she’d do stuff like that all the time.”

“Yeah. She’s got a job as a clerk at City Market. No luck finding a new civil lawyer, but she’s come a long way.”

“I’m glad to hear that. That’s awesome.”

Phil grinned. “Yeah, you’re Mark alright, despite the weird form.”

“Oh, that. Yep. I see you grabbed the mirror.” I gave him a hard look. “Don’t sell it. Yes, I broke the one on the other side, but if that ever gets fixed, then this is probably the only way to get between dimensions.”

I sat down. “Anyway, yes, I arrived as a green pegasus stallion, and even klutzier than I was as a human if that can be believed.”

“I believe it,” Phil said with a straight face.

I glared at him before I continued. “So I won’t bore you with all the details, but I’ve built a life here in this land of magical flying horses, unicorns and all sorts of other mythical creatures. I made a bunch of good friends, have a job where I make a difference, and even have a marefriend of sorts now.” I looked at him soberly. “Still miss my best friend though, so I called in a big favor to have this conversation. What have you been up to?”

Phil paused for a moment then said, “I missed you too, buddy. Well, since your sister was off doing what-the-heck-ever and didn’t want to be bothered, I was the executor of your estate. I converted what I could to cash and put mementos, clothes, and other personal stuff in a storage unit. You’re good for another forty years or so.” He winced. “I held a memorial service or whatever you want to call it when a person is MIA. Your boss and a few of your co-workers came. Only Tina and Chris from our high school days.”

“Chris Otwell?”

“No, Chris Barry.”

“Oh, yeah! I remember him from track. Go on.”

Phil looked directly at me. “That’s it. Other than my mom, no one else showed up. We still had a good time, but I’m afraid you didn’t leave much of a footprint here on Earth when you left.”

I considered that glumly. I knew that Phil was my only social outlet in my old life, but I hadn’t realized how much that was true. “And yourself?”

He smiled wickedly. “Finally got offered that promotion my boss had been promising for years. I got to tell him to stick it and turned in my two-week notice. I’m working for a venture capital startup now. We’re hoping to get our electric ten-passenger plane design through FAA certification in two more years. Pays the bills and I love the people I work with.” His expression fell. “Uh… I mean…”

I waved off his apology. “Dude, I’m happy for you. Really.”

Then I remembered the other important topic to bring up. I stood up and changed into my long-maned Celestia form. “One other thing. If you ever see anything resembling what I look like right now, either in horse or human form, put a sticky note on the mirror.”

He gaped at me. “Dude, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you’re a mare.”

I rolled my eyes, which given the size of them must have been impressive. “Gee, really? I hadn’t noticed.” I looked at him again. “Also, do a Google and/or deep web search for ‘Celestia Faust’, ‘Luna Faust’, or ‘Celestia and Luna’. ” He finished looking me up and down and started to smirk. “And, Phil? Use a VPN, just in case.”

He caught the seriousness of my expression and whatever quip he was planning died before birth. “Umm… OK, Mark. ‘Celestia or Luna Faust.’ Got it. Can you tell me how you got that form along with your other one?”

The spotlight above me started to fade. That was Discord’s signal to bring stuff to a close. “I only have a little time left. If I have a chance to talk to you again, I will. But until then, you take care, buddy.” I started to tear up. Damn female hormones!

I sniffed in a very un-manly way. “I’ll always miss you, Phil. Take care.”

“You too, Mark.”

Phil looked so sad. I wished I could reach out and hug him one last time, but I knew that wasn’t possible. Instead, I put a forehoof on the glass. “Tale of Two Cities quote, man.”

He smiled and put his hand opposite mine. “Right back atcha, but neither of us is Spock this time.”

I smiled and may have had a tear or two fall from my eyes. Then I pulled back and slowly retreated into the darkness. “But you just can’t quite be sure it was me and not some delusion, can you? I mean, what kind of friend would I be without leaving you something to remember me by?”

Phil went stock still and I detected a trace of fear in his eyes. “What did you do?”

“Do you still have that colander that your mom gave you in college?”

“Yeah?”

I grinned wickedly. “You’ll be pooping out diamonds for the next 24 hours, starting with one the size of a chicken egg. Good luck, buddy!”

With one last glance at his delicious look of horror, I saw the mirror fade away, to be replaced with a grinning Discord.

“You were right. That was fun. Oh, and I put some ex-lax in his gallon of milk just in case he's stressed out or dehydrated.”

“By 'some', how much do you mean?”

“Half... but he'll never taste the difference.”

Waking up with Rarity as the little spoon was delightful but short-lived as I was wracked by the burning of my heat. On the other hoof, apparently my bed-mate had similar problems as she joined me under the shower soon after I started. Not the best way to cool one’s ardor, but certainly a fun way to start the day.

Rarity excused herself after breakfast to head back to her home. Between her regular commissions and the inspiration of the plays, she had given herself many projects to work on, and with her Season appeased temporarily, she was keen to get some of them done. I, of course, had yet another round of examinations with Twilight. I had no idea how she continued to find things to test me for, but I presumed her monomania was her way of coping with the Season, so I didn’t question her. I wasn’t the only one though. Thorax was an enthusiastic subject of her research too – suspiciously enthusiastic. I kept catching glances, smiles, and giggles between those two which I might have ignored as a stallion, but my mare instincts were telling me something quite mind-boggling. Were those two becoming an item? The mumbled reply of the other day came back to me – “extending the boundaries of friendship”, I think it was. I hid a smirk as I realized what those boundaries might be. And he was in his normal male form too. I reckon inter-species fertility may have been one of Twilight’s topics of interest.

The alicorn couldn’t keep me cooped up all day in her castle though, and since the storm was long gone, I took advantage of the fair weather to get in some flying. Exercise was also a good way of distracting oneself from the incessant urges. This afternoon, I encountered Rainbow Dash doing exactly the same thing. One glance at each other and an exchange of grins was all it took for us to begin a couple of hours of our most outrageous aerial stunts, games of tag, and races. Eventually, we both came to a landing on the grassy banks of a lake north of the Everfree, panting and sweaty. For once, the mare who almost never shut up was quiet. There was nothing to be said that we hadn’t both expressed in our flight together. Flying was the prismatic mare’s life and one of the major reasons why I enjoyed this form, and today we had expressed that joy to the utmost. As we cooled down, we quietly watched the scenery. Spring blossoms were on some of the trees and waterfowl dotted the lake. The mountain range in the background made it one of the most picturesque sights I had beheld in my entire stay in this magical land.

Rainbow leaned up against me and I liked the feel of her athletic body against my own larger form. I impulsively nuzzled her and to my surprise, she kissed me back. I looked her in the eyes and she smiled almost shyly back at me. It was then that I learned that Dash’s interest in me was not just as a stallion or as a flying buddy. I recalled Twilight’s words about how she and AJ were attracted to each other because they were both strong and capable mares, and here I was in exactly the same situation. I understood completely now and I smiled back and kissed her. Then we made love.

With so many mares interested in me, I had found the Season to be an unexpected blessing. Fluttershy had been eliminated from contention, probably to her greater benefit since Discord proved to be truly enamored with her. Twilight had been the most circumspect in her interest, but that seemed to have been diverted towards another. I had thought that Rainbow could be crossed off the list too because of her thing with Applejack, but apparently, I was very wrong. In fact, it was possible that I had exacerbated her feelings towards me. Would they be the same once the Season was over?

And yet, I could not regret the encounter. This was Equestria where the mares’ attitude towards partners was literally worlds’ different from Earth, and I was definitely going native. Rainbow Dash didn’t fascinate me as Rarity did, but her pure lustiness for life was intoxicating. I knew that we would be spending more time together while the enforced confinement to my female form lasted, and I looked forward to it. My sole concern was what would happen when Rarity found out what we did. I kept forgetting that I was not on Earth anymore. Mores and customs evolved from that world simply did not translate to Equestria in some circumstances. I actually caught the moment when Rainbow told Rarity what we had done that afternoon. Far from being jealous, I saw the delight at learning that juicy piece of gossip, and perhaps a touch of anticipation for this evening. I think I still had a lot to learn as a pegacorn mare.

Inevitably, not everything that happened during the Season was as positive as my times spent with the girls and Thorax. There were days when the hormone surges nearly drove me nuts. Then there was the morning when I was unpacking my saddlebags, looking for… hell, I can’t even remember what anymore. I do recall wondering what Steady and Crimson were doing without me – two big strong stallions alone in that cabin for two weeks. I could almost smell my pegasus valet’s scent…

I found myself holding the saddlebags up to my nose, breathing deeply of the various aromas including the familiar muskiness of Steady’s scent. To my horror, I realized that I had started daydreaming about what it would be like to be held in his strong hooves and wrapped in his wings, his lips close to mine…

I threw the bags away from me and galloped for the bathroom. I spent ten minutes under the cold water trying to scrub those thoughts and images from my mind. If ever I doubted the wisdom of sending me away to Ponyville, it was forever laid to rest that day. I liked mares! No matter if I was in stallion or mare form, that part of me stayed the same. The thought that hormones could so easily override my conscious desires was frightening and another lesson burned into my memory. I had a lifetime of Seasons ahead of me and I needed to be better prepared in the future.

Every day, before I went to breakfast, I tried to shift back to stallion form. At the height of my heat, I knew that it was probably futile but I still tried. As many things as I found to enjoy about being here with my friends and lovers, it was being trapped as a pegacorn that really bothered me. Marklestia was a very gratifying alter ego that I got much pleasure in taking occasionally but my primary self was still a pegasus stallion, and I wanted to return to that normalcy. On the thirteenth day, I succeeded. I didn’t even bother brushing my mane or any of my usual morning preparations. I just raced out the door, hurtled down the stairs, crashed and rolled, got up again with a laugh and resumed my charge to the dining room.

Considering how early I was, it was surprising that there was anyone there besides Spike or the castle staff, but Twilight and Thorax were already seated at the table, enjoying their morning coffee. For Twilight, it was an essential kick-start to the day, but the changeling had picked up the habit from her. They both looked at me curiously when I burst in.

“I’m b-a-a-c-k!” I crowed as I waved my forehooves over my head expansively.

Twilight giggled. “I thought that might happen soon. Even for first-timers, your heat should have been over by now. The rest of us girls were virtually back to normal a couple of days ago.”

I grinned. “You would be hard pressed to tell judging by how Rarity and I were going at it last night.”

Twilight blushed as she glanced at Thorax. “Well, once hormones cease to be an influence, other factors become apparent. And keep in mind that even though the Season is over, mares will still be ovulating and can get pregnant for the next several months.”

I sat down and poured myself some coffee. “Yeah, I’m not completely dense. I know that Rarity and I have something special going on. Now that I’m a stallion again, we need to talk things over and figure out how we want to go from here.”

Twilight’s face settled into serious lines. “I hope you haven’t got too many preconceptions, Mark.”

I waved a hoof dismissively. “If there’s anything that I’ve learned over the past fortnight, it’s that I still have much to learn. I’m trying very hard not to make assumptions and I’ve considered several ways this may go. It’s important that we take care of this as soon as possible to make sure that neither of us is hurt.”

“That’s an extremely mature approach and I’m pleased that you’ve adapted so well to our world. Where is Rarity, by the way?”

“She was in the bathroom, getting ready for the day when I tried to change back. She’ll probably be there a while yet.”

The alicorn nodded. “Not surprising. We can have breakfast while waiting for her.”

Thorax spoke up for the first time. “I’m glad that you’re able to change again, Mark. I know I wouldn’t like it if I wasn’t able to shape-change at will. I do have a question though. What did Twilight mean by adapting to our world?”

I looked at Twilight whose eyes had widened in realization of her slip. Oops.

And that’s how Thorax became one of the few who knew about my true origins. He actually compared it to his own situation – a changeling who openly lived among ponies. We were both beings from one world thrust into another, but we were both enjoying our change of lifestyle. I probably had it better than him though – there was a lot of baggage to overcome with regards to changelings, but at least one town was virtually one hundred percent behind him. What would the average pony think of a hairless ape becoming one of them?

Rarity was delighted to see that I was a stallion once more. After breakfast, we went back to my room for a private heart-to-heart chat. I didn’t beat around the bush though.

“So, Rares, how do we stand now?”

The ivory mare smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek. “That’s what I like about you, Mark – so practical and straightforward. That also sums up your life and career. You’re the Grand Vizier of Canterlot, Princess Trixie’s right hoof. That’s the place that you’ve made for yourself and where you belong. And as for me, I am a professional fashion designer with much to accomplish still. Neither of us can devote ourselves to a full-time relationship yet. But whenever you’re visiting Ponyville, I hope that you will want to spend your evenings with me.”

I cupped her cheek with my hoof and gazed into her eyes. “We have something special, Rarity, and I would never want to spoil that. Whenever you’re in Canterlot, I hope you’ll find the time to come see me too. I’ve always been a bachelor, but I’m glad to have a special somepony in my life now. I admit that I never pictured that it would be a mare like you, but life keeps giving me wonderful twists.”

“And I’m grateful that one of those twists brought you into my life too. But darling, don’t be blind to other opportunities. We may be wonderful part-time lovers but are we suited as life-partners? As you said, I am not what you imagined as such, and I certainly did not dream of a stallion like you.”

“So – take it slow and easy, you’re saying?” I asked.

She nodded. “As you observed, we have something special between us, so let’s make sure we don’t ruin that.”

“That sounds good to me. After being single for so long, I don’t want to jump in too deep on the basis of a couple of weeks of hormone-stoked lust.”

She gave me a coy smile. “My heat ended two nights ago. However, if it wasn’t for the risk of a potential unwanted pregnancy, I would make love to you right now.”

“And I would not stop you,” I admitted. “I think that it’s best that we rejoin the others now while we both have some semblance of self-control.”

“I agree, darling.” Then she nearly ruined my resolve by giving me a heartfelt kiss before making her way out of my room.

I did not join up with her and the others until after a cold shower. Damned if I wasn’t getting used to them.

Because not all mares synched exactly to the day with their heats, I wasn’t allowed to leave the castle that day unless I changed back to being a mare. Having been stuck that way for two weeks, there was no chance that I was going to do that, so I amused myself around the castle as best I could. Fortunately, Twilight was also back to normal, so there wasn’t any problem being around her all day.

The girls all came around for dinner that night, including Fluttershy with Discord. While he spiced up our mealtime, he was otherwise well-behaved, so it went smoothly enough. We had our final social night and another play based upon a popular Star Wars fanfic this time. As it wasn’t canon, we took a few more liberties with it than the official movies. Actually, we took it very unseriously and ended up laughing a lot at the ad-libs and screw-ups. It was perfect. Then came the time for everypony to go home.

Normally the one to rush off anywhere first, Rainbow Dash lingered until she was the last visitor left. Twilight and Thorax excused themselves and just the multi-colored mare and I were all that remained. She approached me, one forehoof rubbing the back of her head self-consciously, a slight blush of red on her blue cheek fur. Weird how that worked.

“Umm… I guess this is goodbye.”

“Yeah, I’ll be catching the morning train to Canterlot tomorrow.”

“I… just want to say… I regret nothing and… I hope we can do this again. Soon.” She hesitated and then gave me a quick kiss on the lips before zooming out of the room leaving behind a rainbow trail.

As the prismatic display faded, I knew for a fact that I now had two marefriends in Ponyville, and due to the way that mares treated their stallions, neither would mind the other vying for my attention. It just brought one thing to mind though. I was about to return to Canterlot where a certain faux alicorn was waiting for “her” stallion. Was I trotting into a three-way tug of war for my heart? And how did I feel about that?

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Well, there it is – Mark definitely isn't going back to his birth world, but Celestia and Luna's fate is just a little more mysterious.

Now that the Season is over, Mark may not be eager to be a mare for a little while, but his other mare problems may have only just begun.

Sorry, no illustration again. Too many artists taking holidays. How rude of them! :rainbowlaugh:

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Chapter 33 - Repercussions

The train arrived in the Canterlot Train Station late in the morning with Crimson, Steady, and my two day guards there to meet me. The guards once again took my bags up to my suite while my valet, bodyguard, and I traveled on hoof. Both of them picked up on my serious mood and chose not to say anything beyond a brief greeting.

All around us, the city was waking up again. Flower arrangements were put out and sandwich board signs were updated with tomorrow’s specials. Friends caught up outside their favorite cafés that wouldn’t be open until the next day. Store owners and employees rushed every which way to get stocks resupplied. In some cases, boards were coming down off of windows and I wondered if this precaution came from paranoia or lessons learned from previous bouts of vandalism during the holiday. I made a mental note to follow up on that thought later.

Once we were in the privacy of my quarters, I decided to get the most uncomfortable but important matter done immediately. I turned to face Crimson. “I want to talk about your decision-making with regards to leaving Fluttershy and myself alone when she was assaulting me.”

I saw the earth pony stiffen. “I take it you believe that was a mistake on my part.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Steady lower his head and his ears droop.

“I do. I understand your desire to prepare me for unexpected threats, but this was not the time to do it. It put my safety at risk and more so to Fluttershy. She could have come out of the situation pregnant or could have been permanently injured by my pegacorn form. It was too great of a risk and this leads me to question your judgment.”

Crimson frowned. “Sir, let me tell you how I see things from my perspective. You are in a position of authority that makes you one of the top targets for the absolute best infiltrators and assassins of Equestria’s enemies. These are beings that have a frighteningly good track record of success at fulfilling their missions. Our job as your bodyguards is to be that much better than all of them and to put ourselves in their way so you have the opportunity to get to safety, best case or have time to react, worst case.”

“I am also your hoof-to-hoof combat instructor. I admit that I did see the situation from the perspective of that responsibility. Your warrior instincts and situational awareness are, frankly, underdeveloped, but you have the potential to get much better. They have to get much better, and I’ve made the commitment to get you there as quickly as possible because Equestria’s enemies won’t wait for you to get ready.”

He sighed. “May I give you a personal example?” I nodded.

“My first deployment was on the Oilseed Peninsula. Our green unit was tasked with cleaning up the den of a pack of Diamond Dogs that had been driven out of the territory. We were given the responsibility to open up the dozen or so storage warrens they left behind before the entire complex was to be collapsed. These bunkers were just rooms with a doorway blocked off with solid stone. Not a problem if you’re a Diamond Dog and you know which ones were booby-trapped.”

“The procedure we used was the same and done by the book each time. Set the charge in place. Attach the detonation wires to the blasting box. Retreat behind our barricade thirty feet away. Announce the blast warning three times. Trigger the blast. If that failed, trigger a second time. If that failed, detach the wires, wait a full minute, then send in the unicorn with the strongest shield and specialized armor to defuse the charge. Each member of our company got to do this under the Lieutenant’s gaze while the rest of us waited behind the barricade.”

“When it got to Private Sorrel Diamond, he had two misfires then raised his head to look when he heard clicking noises. It was a completely instinctual reaction. Unfortunately, before anypony even had the chance to yell at him to get his head down, that’s when the charge went off. A piece of shrapnel went through his eye and lodged in his brain. Despite the medical care given to him during evac and in the best hospitals in Baltimare, he died a week later.”

Crimson paused to let that sink in, then he continued, “Until you learn to put your guard up and act unpredictably, your natural tendencies are exactly what will be used against you. Do you run towards any foal in distress? Do you stop and turn your head when your name is called? And most importantly, can you react effectively and quickly to unexpected circumstances? Until then, you will be a soft target.”

He finished talking and I considered his words before replying. “I understand what you are saying and appreciate your efforts to make me competent at defending myself. However, in my mind, that does not justify your actions two weeks ago. If I find myself in a situation where I feel the need to call for help, I expect to get that help, not a lesson in self-defense. If it turns out to be a situation where I should have been able to cope on my own, I'll suffer the lecture gladly later. But this wasn't one of those times. Your lack of action had real consequences and you're lucky that both Fluttershy and I came out of it relatively well, although Princess Twilight believes I will be compelled to endure going into heat every Season from now on. I'm not looking forward to that at all. Crimson Boulder, I am terminating your position as my personal bodyguard. I would like to keep you as my hoof-to-hoof combat instructor, but that is up to you.”

The silence stretched out between us. We looked at each other for several seconds. Finally, he saluted and said, “I’ll see you on the practice field tomorrow, sir.”

I nodded. “I’ll be there. Dismissed.”

He turned with perfect military precision and left the room. I let out a breath.

Steady came up and nuzzled me in the barrel, which he had never done before. “I’m so sorry, Mark. I should have…” He lapsed into silence.

I nuzzled him back. I supposed this must be a very heartfelt gesture between equines. “It’s alright, Steady. Your job is to be my valet, not my bodyguard. It wasn’t your responsibility.”

“I’m still sorry. I think we both lost him as a friend. I’m going to start taking those self-defense classes with you. I want to be more than useless next time.”

I smiled. “You can if you want. I won’t stop you. Just don’t forget your first obligation is to attend to my personal needs and appearance. I don’t want you thinking you are supposed to fill his horseshoes.”

Steady ran a hoof through his mane. “Yeah. OK… got it.” He looked me in the eyes. “Thanks, Mark.”

“You’re welcome. Now I think lunch with Trixie is next on my agenda?”

He got up, moved to the wardrobe, and opened it. He put on a forced smile. “Can I recommend something with extra padding and maybe a hint of armor underneath? Her Royal Highness looked particularly displeased all day yesterday.”

I grinned. “Out of one fire and into the next. Sure. Show me what you’ve got for me.”

When I walked into the dining room to have lunch, I found Trixie there already. She was wearing her prosthetic wings as usual, although they were mostly hidden by her cape which was reminiscent of the one she wore as a travelling performer. This one was a fancier version with gold braiding along the edges, what she liked to call “Princess Casual”. I got the impression that she was trying to be both serious and informal, but it came off as being awkward. Although she was seated at the table with a plate of food and a glass of wine in front of her, both were untouched and I got the impression that they were going to remain that way. The attending maidservant was standing by in uncomfortable silence and I wondered just how long the Princess had kept her waiting like that. Trixie fixed me with a gaze that quietly rebuked me as I took my place at the table. Steady read the mood like I did and kept his mouth shut as he stood awaiting his orders.

“Lace Doily, please inform the chef that the Grand Vizier has arrived and wishes his luncheon,” Trixie said without taking her eyes off me.

As the maidservant nodded and moved promptly to comply, I said, “Go assist her, Steady.”

The pegasus hastened to follow the mare, only too willing to leave the tense atmosphere.

When both ponies were gone and we were alone, Trixie said, “Welcome back to Canterlot, Park Dwells.” At least, those were her words. What it felt like was more of the nature of ‘Let the accused step forward’.

“Good to be back, Beatrix.” If she was going to play that game, I intended to get my licks in too.

“Two weeks with your stallion friends not good enough for you?”

“I was forced to change into Marklestia for reasons that don’t concern you. Once I realized that I was stuck as a mare, I had to leave. I had Spike inform you that I was in Ponyville.”

“Why Ponyville and not Canterlot?”

“I didn’t know for sure if I was trapped in mare form yet, so I wanted to check with Twilight Sparkle to see if she had a solution.”

“Obviously, she did not. Did you not then think to consult the mages here in Canterlot?”

“No, I didn’t, but I also didn’t dispute Twilight’s findings after she had tested me thoroughly.”

“So you spent two weeks learning what it was like to be a mare in heat?”

I nodded. “Yes, and because it was my first Season, it was very strong.”

“But you were shown all the ways to cope, I presume?”

“Yes, I was.”

“How many?”

“How many ways?” I asked.

“How many mares?”

Her eyes bore into me, seeking the answers she craved. “Two.”

“Sparkle?”

“No.”

Trixie leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. “So, you were happy to dally with two commoner mares, but Trixie wasn’t good enough for you?”

There it was. She didn’t want just her stallion, she wanted me. Even as a mare, she had hungered for me. She had been forced to send me away as a male, but as a female, I could have assuaged her needs and desires. But that hardly was my fault. “You never said anything, Trixie – not to me as a stallion, nor after I sent word from Ponyville.”

Trixie slammed her forehooves on the table and stood up. “Does Trixie mean so little to you that you did not think to ask her? Have we not worked together, ate together, learned together, socialized together for these past months? If you had but inquired, I would have gladly welcomed you into my bedroom and taught you what it was like to make love to a princess!”

“And yet you were too proud to ask me to come!” I retorted hotly as I stood up too. “If there’s one thing that I learned early, it’s that this is a matriarchal society – the mares take the initiative!”

“You were a mare for two weeks – you could’ve asked then!” she growled back.

I knew that it was time to settle this once and for all. I walked closer, stopping only when I was practically nose to nose with her. “You’re a mare now. What are you going to do about it?”

Trixie stared at me for a long, tense moment. Then she surged forward, throwing her foreleg around my neck to pull me to her, and she kissed me on the lips. I was momentarily surprised, but then I felt her trembling in fear of rejection.

I closed my eyes and willingly returned the kiss. I had spent most of the train trip to Canterlot considering what I had learned in the recent months, what Trixie might truly feel about me, and how I felt about that. The past two weeks had forced me to confront a lot about myself and what path I intended my life to take. Rarity had educated me on the passions of mares and opened my eyes to how the proud princess might feel about me but was afraid to speak up because she did not wish to appear weak. We both knew that Trixie had assumed the throne due to extraordinary circumstances and retained it only by the constant political maneuvers that we danced. Winning the Alicorn Challenge and sharing power with Twilight had added legitimacy, but the nobles were forever testing us. I had stood by Trixie’s side throughout it all; helping her beat them at their own games, and bringing my otherworldly experience to bear on unusual problems. We were a team, but starting a relationship would inevitably affect that. Fear and pride had held her back until now, but a new worry had turned that around – she had competition for my heart and she was afraid of losing me to another mare.

Trixie drew back from the kiss, her anger gone but replaced with doubt and hope. “Does that answer your question, Dowser?”

The pet name for me only turned up when she felt emotional and vulnerable. It only added to my convictions. “Yes, it did, Trixie.”

“Then where does Trixie stand now?”

“First, let me tell you a little of what happened while I was in Ponyville. Rarity Belle already was very interested in me, both as a male and as a female. It was she who taught me how to love a mare. She is sophisticated, witty, and skillful. I could never have had a better teacher. I look forward to spending more nights with her.”

I saw Trixie sag a little, but I continued before she could stew too much on what I had just said.

“My other lover was Rainbow Dash. She was the epitome of passion and lust for life. I’m pretty sure that she will seek me out again someday, and I won’t say no.”

Trixie was really looking downcast now. I reached up and cupped her cheek to draw her gaze back to mine. Her eyes widened in surprise.

“But neither of them are my soulmates. Rarity has a firm place in my heart, and Rainbow too, but I need someone to challenge me, to push me, to make me greater. Trixie, in the nearly a year that we’ve been together, I have achieved so much more than in my entire previous life because of you. You gave me a place to grow into my full potential and that has brought me happiness that I never dreamed of having before. You intrigue and frustrate me, you dazzle and delight me, and you amuse and infuriate me. But you never bore me. I need someone who is not afraid to kick me in the ass occasionally if I deserve it but who will listen even when they think I’m wrong. I need a partner in life, not an unattainable ideal. I need a reason to not regret my decision to not return to my world if the opportunity ever arises. As they put it in this world, I need a Special Somepony.”

Trixie’s lip quivered as she took this little speech of mine in. “Can Trixie… can I be that Special Somepony?”

I smiled and kissed her briefly before pulling back to look her sincerely in the eyes. “I have been waiting all this time for you to ask. Yes, Trixie Lulamoon – you can be my Special Somepony, and I will be yours.”

She gave a squeal of glee and launched herself into another passionate kiss, throwing us both to the floor. We embraced and kissed until we had to come up for air. Blushing, Trixie got up on her hooves and adjusted her wings which had been knocked askew. I pushed my unruly mane back into place and noted that Steady was going to have to replace a button on my vest. Then my stomach growled, making me chuckle and Trixie giggle.

“Perhaps we can wait until after lunch to begin our new relationship?” I suggested.

My love’s eyes twinkled and she grinned back at me. “Trixie has waited this long – she supposes she can wait a little longer. Besides, Trixie ordered a special treat to welcome her stallion back.”

“Aw! I could have gotten the bribe first!” I complained.

Trixie stuck her tongue out at me. “Now you’ll just have to share.”

I nuzzled her. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, dear.”

Let it be known that I love Trixie’s laugh of joy.

I raised my voice and called, “It’s safe to come out now, Steady!”

My clever wing-stallion had kept the curious staff at bay while Trixie and I had had our heart-to-heart talk. His happy smile told me that he had heard the result while preventing others from overhearing. I had already forgiven him for abandoning me to Flutterbat, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t get some revenge in later. Maybe that thestral mare weightlifter who owed me a favor for getting Princess Trixie’s signature…

I had one foreleg tucked behind my head on the pillow and the other around Trixie’s barrel as she laid her head on my chest, a soft sigh of contentment coming from her. Her gaze lifted to meet my eyes and she giggled.

I raised an eyebrow. “What’s so amusing?”

“Trixie thinks she will have to thank Ms. Rarity for teaching you how to pleasure a mare so well.”

I chuckled. “You have a point, but you’re a fast learner. Am I really your first stallion?”

“Mm-hmm. Trixie never felt the need for one before, not counting the unreasonable urges of the Season.”

I shuddered as I recalled my experience with smelling Steady’s scent on my saddlebags. “I understand that part all too well.”

My lover was quiet for a short while before continuing our pillow talk. “Trixie is prepared to share her stallion with Rarity if that is what it takes to keep you.”

I lifted my hoof off her barrel and tousled her mane. “Silly mare – there’s no need to worry about that. I meant what I said when I wanted you as my Special Somepony. Yes, I foresee some pleasant times with her in the future, and one day maybe even something more within the customs of this world. But Rarity is a career pony with so much ambition and commitment to her work that she doesn’t have the time for a full-time relationship right now, and maybe not for years to come. In fact, she’s about to open a new boutique in Canterlot and she’ll be busier than ever. Rainbow Dash is committed too. She’s a Wonderbolt Reservist now and intends to be a full-fledged member in the future, so she’s focused on that and a relationship doesn’t factor in.”

Trixie playfully pouted. “So – Trixie only won her stallion because she was available?”

I stuck my tongue out at her before replying, “That, and you’re a great kisser.”

“The Beautiful and Sexy Trixie is great at more than just that,” she replied smugly.

I grinned. “No argument from me, darling.”

We shared a laugh and a hug before we relaxed again.

“Were you serious when you said you would not be going back to your world?”

I nodded. “There are some things that I’ll miss such as my friend Phil. Oh, and fingers.”

“What are fingers?”

“The digits on the end of hands, like the minotaurs have on their upper limbs.”

“Oh, those. What good are they?”

I leered at her and said, “If I had them now, I’d show you what I could do to you with them.”

“Trixie is both amused and worried about the implications.”

“You’re unlikely to ever need to be concerned. Anyway, as I was saying, there are some things that I’ll miss, but now I have much more to live for here in Equestria. Besides, in a discussion that I had with Discord, it seems that I am pretty much destined to be here. I’m some sort of cosmic balance for Harmony.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I do, actually. Not that it was necessarily the deciding factor.”

“What was that?”

“I’m holding her right now.”

As I watched, I saw tears welling in her eyes. “You truly gave up your world for me?”

“What can I say? I love you, Trixie Lulamoon. You stole my heart and hid it here in this beautiful world, so I must stay so it doesn’t get broken.” I tilted my head forward and kissed her, and she returned it with renewed passion.

When we finally parted, panting a little for breath, I said, “Whatever the future brings, for better or for worse, you’re stuck with me.”

“Trixie can live with that,” she replied, tears of happiness making her cheek fur sodden.

We cuddled for a while, just enjoying being together.

Eventually, Trixie broke the silence. “Tell me about your two weeks away.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Everything.”

“Everything? Including the juicy bits?”

She giggled. “Especially the juicy bits.”

So I told her, leaving nothing out, and then she told me how she spent her fortnight. So much of it was spent pining for me and her regrets for not speaking up sooner. Having bared our souls and cleared the air, we made love once more.

I sat on the balcony of Trixie’s room, strumming my guitar. I had Steady fetch it while Trixie finished freshening up. Now I played songs for my mare as we watched the sun set over the land that I had come to love.

Just as Trixie leaned in for another kiss, a scroll materialized out of smoke in between us. I jerked away from the dragonfire but apparently not fast enough as I smelled the distinctive scent of burned hair. I growled, “Your timing is just impeccable, Spike.”

I heard my Special Somepony chuckling as she unrolled the offending item. “Indeed it is, Oligarch Cartels. Fortunately, you have an eyebrow to spare.”

I sighed. Some things never change.

Trixie paraphrased as she read through the contents. “It is from the other princess of Equestria. The book of Star Swirl's spells has gone missing. Twilight is concerned because of the powerful nature of the spells.”

“So it was stolen?”

“No. It was checked out from the castle library.”

I paused and may have put some sarcasm in my response. “Seriously?”

“It seems the book was in a restricted section, but of course Twilight had put every book she owned through the entire cataloging process so she could cross-reference them. That included adding a checkout card and sleeve.” Trixie looked up. “Also, the process adds three different methods to track down late or misplaced volumes. All three have been disabled.”

I looked down in thought. “What was the name signed on the checkout card?”

“'Sunny Skies', but no one living in Ponyville has that name. The guards and patrons remember a slight unicorn mare that was there today. Dull yellow coat and light brown mane. A white sunburst pattern for her cutie mark. Nothing remarkable about her appearance.”

The more I thought about it, the more I shared Twilight's sense of disquiet. I looked up at Trixie. “I recommend we give the mare's description to the Royal Guard and to the police forces at the major cities around Equestria. Also, we'll put a word in at antiquarian bookstores to keep their eyes out for the book.”

Trixie nodded. “I'll get that done and send Twilight our response.” She trotted back into the room.

A few minutes later, she returned, a couple of cool drinks carried in the glow of her magic. She placed one on the table at my side and invited me to continue my playing with just a look. I liked to steal glances at Trixie’s face as I sang. Her public mask was gone and I could see how much she was enjoying it, and I could foresee more times like these in the days to come. Tomorrow, we would be back at work as the Princess and her Grand Vizier deciding matters of great importance, but for the moment, we were just two ponies in love, and that was all that mattered.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

End of Book One

Don't go away! Book Two – "Further Off The Mark" – begins in Chapter 34.

One stage in Mark's life has ended and a new one has just begun. He knows now that Harmony has a purpose for him, and that probably means his life isn't going to be easy. Then again, being attached to Trixie makes that pretty much a given.

Art by Silfoe

Tips to help pay for more art can be given via my Ko-fi account.

Chapter 34 - New Associates

BOOK TWO – "FURTHER OFF THE MARK"

I was finishing my morning ablutions, brushing the tangles out of my mane, when I paused to look at myself in the mirror. I mean really look at myself. After nearly eleven months in Equestria, I realized that I could barely remember what my human reflection looked like. The pony that stared back at me was far more familiar by this time and, to be truthful with myself, the person that I identified with now. While I had been shocked and dismayed at becoming a small equine with a green pelt of all things when I had first arrived in Equestria, that seemed totally normal to me now. When you live among a species that comes in all the colors of the rainbow, it’s very hard to stand out. Green ponies were less common though, and I liked that. In fact, I liked everything about my body now, right down to the wings that I was finally starting to master. Still figuring out my butt mark though.

On the face of it, I wasn’t a particularly outstanding pony, but somehow I had won the affection of several mares, one of whom also won my heart and was now pretty much my fiancée. I had a position of prestige and power, and the respect of a large portion of the population. I even had an alternate form with more amazing abilities. I grinned at my reflection. “Mark Wells – you are one lucky sonofabitch.”

“Are you going to stand there admiring yourself all morning, or will you be ready to be dressed soon?” Steady Flight asked drolly.

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the unexpected voice. With my heart pounding in my chest, I turned to my smirking valet/best friend and glared at him. “Can’t a handsome pony admire himself once in a while?” I complained.

“Yeah, but only if he likes to keep his marefriend waiting,” he retorted.

Right. My Great and Powerful Special Somepony was not known for her patience. “Good point. Be there in a moment.”

I hastily completed my mane brushing and went to see what outfit Steady had chosen for me today. Trixie liked to see her stallion well-attired, and I rather liked the appreciative looks and kisses she gave me at the breakfast table in the mornings. No more snacking in the nude up in my room anymore. Hmmm. Actually, maybe I could interest Trixie in coming up to my room for dinner consisting of a couple of pizzas, perhaps some wine, and snuggles on the balcony while watching the stars. We’d been “Special Someponies” for a few days now and I reckoned that we were past due for a date night.

Later that day, I was sitting in my office preparing for the afternoon session of Day Court when my door burst open and somepony hurtled through and came to a crash-landing on my desk. I found myself staring into a face with fangs and slit eyes, a knife at my throat. I gulped nervously.

“Bad date last night, Penumbra?” I asked.

The thestral mare with flying fox coloration grinned and put away the knife. “Great date, actually. Heard you needed a new personal bodyguard. Thought I’d see if the position is still open.”

“And the reason for scaring a year off my life is why?”

“To show you how unprepared you are and how much you need me.”

“And what would you have done about them?” I pointed to the doorway.

Penumbra looked around and saw my two regular Royal Guards, Easy Breeze and Far Sight, glaring at her, one with a crossbow aimed and the other with a sword held in his magic, ready to swing in an instant. The mare shrugged. “Bad plan if I intended to escape, but great plan if I was a suicidal assassin. You’d be dead already.”

“Good point. Now, unless you wish to be perforated and/or filleted, I suggest that you get off my desk.”

The thestral back-winged and came to a soft landing in front of the desk. I dismissed the Guards with a wave of my hoof.

“Okay, you’ve gotten my attention. Why do you want to be my personal bodyguard?”

“Ooh, I could say that I have ambition and it would be true. The prestige would be nice too. I might be after the pay raise – I could use a few more bits each week. But the truth is that I’m bored.”

I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow. “Bored?”

“Yeah. Since Princess Luna disappeared, we Night Guard have had next to nothing to do but dull patrols. I want to get where the action is, and that seems to be around you most of the time nowadays.”

“A bit too often lately, actually,” I grumbled. “I’d prefer a bit of peace and quiet. Ironically, you’d be charged with giving me that.”

Penumbra smiled confidently. “The best bodyguards make sure to hog all the fun.”

I grinned. I liked the thestral when she was introduced to me by her weightlifter friend the other day, and she certainly was more interesting than the two admittedly competent stiffs that were outside the door. I had blown off attempts to assign me a new personal bodyguard since I dismissed Crimson Boulder, settling for several Royal Guards if I left the palace. I would have done without them too except Trixie would have a fit if I went out without protection. As she was in the right this time, I only griped a little. The fact was – I just didn’t want anypony getting that personally involved with me after being let down by someone that I had considered a friend. Seemed I had let my guard down in more than one way though because Penumbra was growing on me. However…

“The majority of the trips are made during the day – won’t that be a problem for you?”

“Pfft!” She waved a wing dismissively. “I have some cool shades and I actually like the feel of the sun on my fur.”

I pictured the bat-pony in Ray-Ban sunglasses, giving a fang-filled sneer at some poor wretch who dared to accost me. Sounded awesome, actually. “Alright – you’ve intrigued me and I’m prepared to give you a trial. You just have to convince Princess Trixie to approve you. I suggest that you don’t try the same stunt that you pulled on me though.”

“Why does the Princess have to approve the appointment?”

“She might not like the… ah… competition,” I replied.

Penumbra grinned. “Hey, you know who I went out on a date with last night, so no problems there, right?”

“You’d be surprised,” I replied, not willing to tell the lesbian mare any more than that. “Now shoo! I have work to do before Court starts.”

“Okay. Catch you later!” she replied confidently.

I smirked after the retreating thestral. Terrible personality for a professional Royal Guard but I could see why Luna had liked the mare. Her weightlifter friend, Maximum ‘Maxi’ Lift, had told me a lot about her stint in Luna’s personal squad, and now I realized that she’d been laying the groundwork for today’s impromptu interview. I reckoned that Penumbra had a lot of potential. Now if only Trixie didn’t screw this up for me. While my marefriend had indicated that she was willing to share her stallion, the number included in that concession was exactly two others right now. The fact that I could become a mare only made things worse. Thank God I didn’t turn into a copy of Luna! Anyway, that was a complication that I would deal with later. It would be worth it to be able to get out of the palace without a damn retinue!

I wrapped up my work and put the files relevant to this afternoon’s needs into a folder which I tucked under a wing. I then headed for the dining hall to have the lunchtime meal. Never go into a court session on an empty stomach! I had learned the hard way how some had gone overtime due to urgency requiring an immediate resolution, and my stomach was a growling cavern by the time it was done.

Trixie arrived at the same time as I did and I gave her a quick kiss before we entered the room. While we expected to find Raven Inkwell there, surprisingly, Twilight Sparkle was present also. Not that she wasn’t entitled to lunch after her morning court session, but that she usually wasn’t that prompt. Very frequently, she would hang around the throne room just chatting with somepony as befitted the Princess of Friendship. The fact that she wasn’t alone might have something to do with it though.

Twilight smiled when she saw us enter and greeted us. Then she looked over to her companion – a unicorn mare with a light yellowish-gray coat, and red mane and tail with purple highlights which strongly reminded me of Twilight’s own mane-style. Only the short topknot was significantly different. She had purple eyes seen through large black-rimmed spectacles, and a cutie mark of a crescent moon and three stars. She also wore a very dowdy turtleneck jumper.

“I’d like you to meet my friend, Moon Dancer. I invited her to have lunch with me. I hope you don’t mind.”

We didn’t mind, but company always put Trixie into Princess mode, and I valued our semi-informal lunchtimes with Raven. Still, it wasn’t as if we didn’t have guests occasionally, and Twilight had an equal right to do so.

Trixie smiled benevolently at Moon Dancer. “It’s always a pleasure for us to meet one of our little ponies. Princess Twilight hasn't mentioned your name before, as far as Trixie knows.”

“We… ah… recently reconnected, Your Highness,” Moon Dancer replied.

Twilight said, “I’m embarrassed to admit that I let my old friendships slip while I was concerned with other matters, and my move to Ponyville took me away from regular contact. I had some bridges to re-build, but Moonie and I are getting to know each other once again. I invited her to spend a morning in Day Court to see what I do and to meet you too.”

“The Great and Wise Trixie is pleased that you show such interest in our endeavors, Moon Dancer. Can you really spare this much time from your work though?”

Moon Dancer licked her lips and hesitated. “I am a scholar, actually. I make my own hours.”

“I see. What subjects do you study?”

“Everything, Your Highness.”

“Everything? Trixie was not aware that any university offered such a course,” she said with a small smirk.

“Oh, no. I graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns the same year as Twilight. I’ve just continued studying on my own.”

Trixie frowned. “If you are not a registered student nor employed, how do you earn money to pay for food or shelter?”

“I get a stipend from the Royal Treasury.”

“I see. And what do you do in return for this stipend?”

“I… do research.”

“For whom?”

“No one, Your Highness. I seek knowledge for its own sake.”

Trixie walked up to Moon Dancer and regarded her for a long, uncomfortable moment. “So – correct Trixie if she misunderstands the situation. You are paid to read books all day and you do nothing else?”

Twilight’s eyes widened and her ears folded back. “Hey! You make that sound like a crime!”

Trixie held up a hoof in a wordless demand for silence. “Princess Twilight, hold your peace. Trixie is not finished.” The faux alicorn returned her attention to the unicorn. “Please answer Trixie’s question.”

Moon Dancer seemed to wither a bit under Trixie’s stern gaze. “That is… ah… essentially true.”

Trixie nodded, turned away, and headed for her chair. “Trixie sees why she is your friend, Princess Twilight. Nevertheless, while Trixie understands the value of a good education, having been an alumnus of Celestia’s school too, we also expect that knowledge to be put to good use.”

“Yeah, like you did with your traveling magic act,” Twilight muttered almost inaudibly.

Trixie shot her a sharp glance before continuing. “Your stipend will be terminated as of now.”

Moon Dancer gasped, and I was not a little surprised too, but I suspected my marefriend was up to something so I held my tongue. Twilight wasn’t quite so restrained.

“You can’t do that! Moon Dancer does valuable work!”

“Valuable to whom?” Trixie asked snidely.

“Well… to me, anyway.”

Trixie grinned like a shark that had caught its prey. “Exactly. It’s time to put that knowledge and ability to use. Raven Inkwell has been barely coping with the workload after the backlog from the Season. It’s time that she was given an assistant. Raven will continue to attend to Trixie’s Court sessions, but Moon Dancer will now fulfill that role for you, Princess Twilight. She will be paid a wage commensurate with that position, and she can continue her studies when not required in Court.” She smiled smugly and looked at Moon Dancer. “Unless you would prefer to find a job as a shop assistant or foalsitter, perhaps?”

Moon Dancer looked stunned. “I… that is… it sounds fair to me, Your Highness.”

Twilight’s mood flipped to enthusiastic excitement. “That’s a great idea, Trixie! That’ll give Moonie and me more time together as well as giving her meaningful employment.”

“Sounds good to me too,” I said. “But can we get on with lunch now? I’m starving!”

#

After the food was served up, conversation mostly devolved upon discussion of how Moon Dancer would take up her new responsibilities. It was agreed that Raven would coach her through the first few times and henceforth report to Raven after each Court session for a probationary period until she got into the swing of things.

Trixie said, “Oh, and one other thing. Have Moon Dancer see the Royal Seamstress to find something more suitable than… that to wear.” She glared disdainfully at the unicorn’s jumper. “She must present a certain standard in the throne room lest she be mocked by the nobles and cast Princess Twilight in a poor light.”

I had to agree with Trixie on that one – presentation was everything, especially to the nobles.

Now that Moon Dancer was officially assigned to be Twilight’s assistant, there was no reason to put off my question. “Would you mind putting up a privacy bubble please, Twilight? Just over the five of us.”

She nodded and her horn glowed. A translucent hemisphere covered Raven, Trixie, Moon Dancer, Twilight, and myself, rendering us inaudible to the wait-staff.

“Moon Dancer, everything we will discuss here is protected at the highest level of Equestrian security. It will not be written down or talked about without security measures comparable to this.”

The yellow unicorn nodded. “I understand. Thank you for including me in this discussion.”

I smiled. “Scheduling related to these topics will certainly fall within your responsibilities, so welcome aboard!” I turned back to Twilight. “How is progress going with your teams of researchers investigating ways to counter threats to Equestria?”

Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt. Twilight grinned and started dancing on her hooves. “Oh, it’s going great! I have nine teams working under me now. I limit my input to ten minutes per day for each team when I’m here in town or a one scroll status update with the same space restriction for the guidance I return. All but two members of the Guild of Mages are now involved, and not always as team leaders. Some are just born researchers and not good at project management, which is fine.”

She waved a forehoof as she frowned. “We kept having problems with getting upgrades and gadgets accepted by the military, so I ordered that no research team move on to the next project until all problems found in the initial field checkouts had been solved to the brass’ and non-coms’ satisfaction. In return, the military agreed not to allow the project scope to evolve unless a Level One or Level Two critical vulnerability was discovered. If they want more changes, they need to submit the upgrades as a separate project for evaluation and scheduling.”

“So far, twenty-two projects have been completed with another five in various stages of testing. Eight finished projects are related to the changeling threat, which is in line with a third of the teams dedicated to those issues.” Twilight smiled. “I swear the teams are getting more efficient, too! They just don’t need as much supervision and are getting better at working their way through problems on their own. And I love the Cost-Benefit Analysis tool. I use it for my other research as well.”

Twilight’s eyes widened for a moment. “Oh! I almost forgot. Your care package came in.” She opened her saddlebags and a familiar wide blister pack levitated out. The packaging broke apart in her magic, leaving ten glorious ballpoint pens floating in the air—two each of five different colors. The imminent end of months of sharpening quills and getting ink stains all over my hooves made me hop up and down once in joy.

That got a snort of laughter out of Trixie. “And these trinkets are?”

The purple alicorn glanced at me and then to her co-ruler. “The world that Sunset Shimmer now calls home has these ‘ballpoint pens.’ Mark saw one that Sunset sent through the portal to me and asked for a supply. They act like a quill with an internal ink well that lasts for many hours.”

“May I try one?” asked Raven.

I frowned as a green pen floated to Raven and she set to work on her clipboard. Trixie leaned on the arm of her chair to watch her assistant scribble away. Actually, that was fine. Raven probably needed one even more than I did. She certainly took more notes.

I turned back to see Moon Dancer pulling a black pen out of Twilight’s field, pulling off the cap and placing it on the blunt end at Twilight’s suggestion. This was followed by a minute or so of pen scratching noises in stereo. “Having trouble getting the letters to look right,” I heard Raven grumble.

Twilight looked up at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, Mark, but I used up mine then disassembled it for study. I’ll need one for personal use, and there are two projects regarding quick messaging between the troops that need to use a pen as well. These might be just the special trick needed to make them work.” Three of the ballpoint pens—one blue, one red, and one green—floated back into her saddlebag, leaving five.

“Got it!” declared Raven proudly. Everypony gathered around to look at her notepad.

I blinked. My mind was blown. “But… you can’t change the width of a stroke with a ballpoint pen.”

“And how would you know?” asked Raven.

I thought quickly. “Twilight let me use hers quite a bit. It just makes an even-width line. That’s how it’s designed to work. How did you…?”

Rather than answering my question, she flipped to a new page and continued writing.

She sighed. “A bit rough, but I’m sure I’ll get better with practice. Just takes regulating the amount of pressure and a steady horn. Oh, and I’ll need this one and three other colors for my special project of looking for clues in Celestia’s diaries; plus one for my work in Day Court.”

Twilight levitated four more over to the white unicorn, leaving me aghast. Only a single blue pen remained floating in front of the alicorn as she spoke. “Oh, that’s right. How is that going? Any solid leads?”

I interrupted. “Wait a minute. Why do you need five pens exactly?”

“Starting from the last diary entry, I’ve been working backward in time, creating two items as I go. The synopsis stays in chronological order and uses four colors of ink to summarize the entries into four categories: Personal, Magic, Equestria, and Foreign Affairs. The reference cards give the volume number and date for every time Celestia used key phrases or referred to an individual or topic. I’ve just started the eleventh volume, number fifty-four, but progress is starting to slow with the increasing number of entries on each card that have to be checked for patterns.”

Trixie said. “And what patterns have you detected?”

“Celestia was an absolute master at manipulating world events. Time and time again potential threats were dealt with proactively and not allowed to fester. Everything from overt bribes to assassination or as she called them ‘liberation missions.’ I’ve given relevant details to the Foreign Relations department, but with each passing day, the information grows more stale.”

Her ears drooped. “Celestia’s agents around Equis would report to her directly, often because of obligations or friendships that spanned generations. They owed their allegiance to her, not to Equestria. Having a pony contact them to try to re-establish that connection would be very dangerous for all involved, and the few times we have tried, our government’s pony was turned down flat. Add to that the scroll delivery system is somehow tied to the magic of the sun itself. One of Twilight’s projects is to try to recreate this mechanism so we can use it as an alternative to dragonfire.”

Twilight’s body stiffened, then she took a deep breath. “Any clues where they might have gone?”

Raven shook her head sadly. “I’ve found exactly zero references to other dimensions or traveling through the mirror portals. As soon as I find anything, I’ll let everypony know right away.”

I looked down and frowned. That answer I could have guessed. I had heard some of the rest from an earlier summary. Anything that important would have been brought to our immediate attention.

While I was distracted, Trixie leaned forward and grabbed the last pen with her hoof.

“Hey! Those are my pens! Sunset gave them to me and I need at least one of them.”

Trixie shrugged as the other three mares tried to hide their smiles. “And you can doubtless ask for many more. But for right now, I need one for my magic homework assignments and royal correspondence. Everypony else here has a job or task with a higher priority than your note-taking in court, even if only slightly. I must compliment your initiative though.” She examined her pen closely. “This is indeed superior in many ways to a quill and ink bottle, so thank you for these.”

There was a chorus of “Thank-yous” all around as I flattened my ears. I couldn’t fault Trixie’s logic, but I suspected this had just a little to do with the fact I was the only stallion in the group. “Can… no, may I please borrow one of those pens, Raven?”

Twilight held up a forehoof to stop Raven from answering. “Hmm… Perhaps we should put this to a vote? I don’t want him accidentally losing one.” That got a laugh from Trixie and a quick chuckle from Raven and Moon Dancer. I think the fact I was grinding my teeth had something to do with their amusement.

“I’ll sweeten the deal,” I said. “Loan me a pen and I’ll not bite each of you on the flank.”

That caused Moon Dancer to stare at me with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t!”

I grinned as wide as I could. “I would start with yours.”

“Meep!” The yellow unicorn’s magic winked out and she dropped her pen.

Trixie scoffed. “Pay him no mind. He is ‘all bark and no bite’.”

I turned to smile at my marefriend. “That’s not what you said last night.”

This time it was Trixie’s turn to have her magic cut out, followed by her entire face turning red.

Twilight howled with laughter. When she had calmed down, she tossed one of her pens my way. “Here. You can use this for the rest of Day Court… which has a brand new meaning now.” She poked me in the side. “Congratulations to you both, by the way. It’s about time you two woke up and smelled each other… or perhaps it was—”

“Yes, yes, you are very clever, Princess Sparkle.” Trixie had regained some of her composure and glared at me. “There will be a reckoning for your actions today.”

I grinned without shame. “Sooner rather than later, I hope. That sounds like fun!” Trixie rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop herself from smiling.

Moon Dancer picked up her pen and pointed it towards Trixie. “Is it too late to change my mind? I had no idea this was such a pit of lunacy.”

“Tragically, yes, Miss Moon Dancer. We all must endure our burdens.” She narrowed her eyes at me, leaving little doubt who she was referring to.

I picked up Trixie’s pen and offered it to her. She paused, then carefully took it with her hoof, perhaps thinking I had one more trick I was going to play on her.

Twilight cleared her throat. “I’m going to drop the privacy bubble if everypony is ready.” Trixie spent a few moments composing herself, then nodded.

After her purple field dissipated, Twilight pranced away, “I’ll be in my lab if you need me. See you two starry-eyed foals at dinner!”

Moon Dancer trotted close behind. “I don’t think so. According to the schedule Raven gave me, you have a parade inspection, two department meetings, your horseshoe fitting…”

As they left the dining hall, I heard the alicorn groan and saw her ears fold backward in annoyance.

“Sergeant Penumbra of the Night Guard!” the Sergeant-at-Arms announced.

I felt my eyebrows rise in surprise. I knew I’d told Penumbra to check with Trixie, but I didn’t expect her to do so in the middle of Day Court. Just getting onto the list for today meant that she must have planned to do so at least a day in advance. I was beginning to get even more impressed with her foresight.

The thestral marched up to the throne dressed in full formal Guard armor and bowed to Trixie.

The faux alicorn gave me a glance before addressing Penumbra. “This is most unusual, Sergeant Penumbra. What is so important that you need petition the Great and Powerful Trixie instead of working through normal channels?”

“Your Highness, I am seeking the position of personal bodyguard to the Grand Vizier. He has given his conditional acceptance pending your approval.”

“Is that so?” Trixie asked, raising a curious eyebrow as she turned to me for clarification.

I said, “Sergeant Penumbra gave a convincing argument for assuming the post. She has the necessary skills and the personality to fit the job. Given how closely she will need to work with me, I felt it desirable to give you the final blessing.” Or to paraphrase, I wanted to cover my ass and let my marefriend know that I wanted a female to be my bodyguard.

Trixie gave me a flat look. “Do you think a mare is better suited to watch over you?”

“She would be better qualified to pull unwanted ponies off of me, at least,” I reminded her quietly.

She whispered back, “A point, but will Trixie need to pull her off of you?”

“Penumbra prefers mares.”

“Not a compelling argument in your case.”

“Would you prefer trying to pull a stallion off Marklestia?” I inquired archly.

My marefriend shuddered. “Trixie did not need that image in her head.” She turned back to Penumbra and raised her voice back to a normal level. “The Great and Wise Trixie grants your petition. Your duties begin immediately.”

Penumbra bowed again to Trixie. “Thank you, Princess.” She then moved to a position at the side of dais near to me. She flashed me a grin before putting on her stoic Royal Guard face.

I gave her a wink before turning my attention back to the court.

Penumbra was present during the remainder of Day Court. That suited me fine because I needed to go shopping for a horn ring tomorrow – one suitable for a princess and the mare who made me realize that bachelorhood wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I made my new bodyguard aware of my plans when the session concluded before Trixie and I headed up to my room. Pizza waited for nopony!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

And we're off on the second arc! We've got some twists and turns planned which you'll hopefully enjoy.

Penumbra art by Foxenawolf.

Raven's calligraphy by Airy Words.

Chapter 35 - Status Change

I found Penumbra waiting outside the door to my room the next morning, ready and eager to be my shadow. She was smirking, undoubtedly because of something that she had just said to the door guards which I had only heard muffled by the intervening wood. Whatever she had told them had left both red-faced despite their efforts to make their expressions professionally neutral when I emerged. I recognized Dauntless Blade as one of Trixie’s door guards the time she had said something that sounded salacious when heard out of context just as I was emerging from her room. Recalling how he’d reacted then, I paused to stare at the stallion as if I’d heard everything. He got even redder and I saw beads of sweat start to form. I let him stew for a few seconds longer before turning away and saying to my bodyguard, “Really, Penumbra?”

“Yep!” she replied with a huge fang-bearing smile.

As we trotted off to breakfast, I still had no idea what they were talking about, but I didn’t care. I’d finally gotten my revenge on that guard! Maybe Easy Breeze or Far Sight would learn what it was from their comrade later and tell me about it. Then I could enjoy it all over again!

Trixie had the morning Court session that day, so I couldn’t go shopping until the lunch break. As the Sergeant-At-Arms closed the throne room doors, I said to Trixie, “Penumbra and I are going to Donut Joe’s for lunch. She’s going to show me a trick with a couple of choc-iced rings and a bear claw. Wanna come along?”

Trixie stared at me for a long moment before shaking her head in exasperation. “Truly, you are from another world, Radiarc Bells. If you don’t wish to tell Trixie what you’re really going to do, just say so.”

I gave her a nuzzle. “I’m just going to do a little shopping and observe how Penny works a crowd. I’ll pick up something a tad more nourishing for myself than a donut, I promise.” I saw Penumbra wince at the nickname I’d given her. Maybe next time she wouldn’t bring a knife to a job interview.

My marefriend nuzzled me back. “Have fun, but not too much!”

“I hear and obey, O Great and Powerfully Sexy Trixie.”

She gave me a telekinetic swat on the rump as I descended the throne’s dais. Worth it!

As we emerged from the throne room, Penumbra said, “You’ve got me thinking of all the things Maxi and I can do with Joe’s pastries.”

I chuckled. “You can figure that out later. We have lunch and a much more important errand to get done first.”

“All you’ve told me so far is that you want my opinion on something. Can I make a guess?”

“Dazzle me with your powers of observation!”

“You’re shopping for a gift for your Special Somepony,” she replied confidently.

Trixie and I still kept things strictly businesslike when in public, but we were much less restrained in the presence of only our closest confidantes. Penumbra hadn’t been with me long, but she would have been blind not to have realized how Trixie and I felt about each other. Still… “Close, but not quite.”

“Oh? What did I miss?”

“I’m going to buy an engagement ring for her.”

A puzzled expression crossed Penumbra’s face. “A what?”

After a little under a year here, I still had things to learn about Equestria, and it seemed I may have just stumbled upon another. “Where I come from, it’s customary to offer a ring when proposing marriage. If she accepts, then she will wear the ring to show her commitment.”

“Oh! A promise ring! That’s the kind of thing that only the nobility normally bothers with. The average pony can’t afford both a promise ring and a wedding ring, even if they subscribe to that tradition.”

“I didn’t realize that. Still, I’d like to bring some of my customs into the relationship, and it’s not as if I can’t afford it. A Grand Vizier gets paid decently well.”

“You’re confident that Princess Trixie will accept your suit then?”

“Yep. Heck, she practically proposed to me!”

“You make that sound unusual,” Penumbra said with a raised eyebrow.

I sometimes forget that it’s a mare-dominated society, so one proposing to a stallion shouldn’t have surprised me. Nevertheless, I wanted this particular tradition to be more like what I was used to. “Don’t mind me – I have some weird ideas occasionally.”

“Just occasionally?” she asked with a broad grin.

I gave the mare a flat look. “Yeah. Last time, I hired a smart-ass batpony. I gotta stop doing crazy things like that.”

“Crazy like marrying the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

I grew serious for a moment. “No. For once, I think I was perfectly sane. We’re both an odd fit for most ponies, but we go well together. I was a committed bachelor until now.”

“Now you just ought to be committed,” Penumbra chortled.

“Just for that, I’m not buying you lunch,” I said with an exaggerated huff.

“Aw! I’ll be good,” she whined. “So – I’m guessing you want my help in choosing a ring?”

“Yep. I’m almost totally ignorant of what is appropriate, and I don’t want a jeweler to pull a fast one on me either.”

“Hmm… I can’t say that I’m an expert, but I’ll offer my opinion. Might have a look around for something while we’re there.”

We stepped out of the palace front gate and the Royal Guards stationed there snapped a salute to me. I nodded in acknowledgement while Penumbra put on her shades and her business face. We then headed down the road into the restaurant sector. While the ring was important, it was midday and I was hungry!

I chewed on my oatburger thoughtfully. Penumbra was already demolishing her third mango sundae and thoroughly ruining her dignified and serious bodyguard image. Not that I cared. The restaurant’s patrons goggled at the thestral’s antics or had a quiet chuckle. It was a pity that I needed to interrupt her.

“Have you noticed that yellow unicorn mare with the blue mane?” I asked.

“You mean the one that followed us all the way from the castle?” she replied without taking her eyes off her dish, barely pausing between spoonfuls of fruit and ice cream to talk.

Okay, I was impressed. I hadn’t noticed anyone following me that far back. “So I’m not imagining that I’m being watched?”

“Nope. As long as that’s all she’s doing, I wouldn’t worry too much. Weirdo fans happen all the time.”

“Judging from her expression, she doesn’t strike me as a fan.”

“Me neither, but as long as she keeps her distance, she can do what she likes.”

I didn’t bother asking what she’d do if the mare didn’t keep her distance. That was Penumbra’s job and I’d let her do it without me meddling unless it was really called for. Still, I had to wonder why I was being watched so closely.

With my hunger quenched and presumably Penumbra’s also, we headed off to the retail sector in search of a jeweler’s shop. I’d heard of one mentioned several times by various nobles showing off their latest bling, but I wasn’t sure where exactly it was. My bodyguard had a better idea of this area of town though, and it wasn’t too long before we entered the establishment of the Brilliant Cut Jewelry Emporium. I noticed a faint shimmer in the air as I passed over the threshold. Some kind of security spell, perhaps?

I may as well have walked into any such shop on Earth – exactly the same kind of ostentatious display of finely crafted jewelry that the average pony could never afford, all lovingly displayed on acres of black velvet with strategically placed lights to bring the highlights of the pieces. And, of course, one finely dressed and obsequious unicorn salespony waiting for me just inside the entrance, off to the side so as not to block my path. Barely glancing at the thestral, his eyes lit up upon recognizing me. I don’t think that I’d ever met the stallion before, but someone in his line of business undoubtedly knew all the upper echelon ponies. He approached me with an ingratiating smile.

“Good afternoon, Grand Vizier Mark Wells. Welcome to my humble shop. My name is Sparkling Brooch and it would be my great pleasure to assist you today.”

Behind me, I heard a distinct ‘pop.’ Looking back, I saw Penumbra give me her most innocent look. I also noticed that she was standing exactly where the shield had been.

I turned back to the now frowning stallion and gave him my well-practiced neutral smile – it didn’t pay to seem too eager. “Good day. I am interested in purchasing a promise ring for a Special Somepony. You come highly recommended by several nobles at the Court.”

“Ah! A delightful old tradition! I’m sure that I can find something that will suit both you and your Special Somepony’s taste.” The unicorn ushered me toward one of the clear crystal display cases. “Firstly, may I ask which tribe does the recipient belong to?”

“She’s a unicorn.”

“Excellent! Horn rings work so well to enhance a mare’s sophistication and elegance.”

I rolled my eyes while he was occupied with extracting something from the case. Not that I hadn’t expected him to lay it on thick, but I certainly saw why the nobles liked him.

“Grand Vizier, let me show you something that I guarantee no other jeweler in Canterlot has in their possession.”

Sparkling Brooch levitated a black velvet box onto the countertop and opened it with a flourish. Inside was a thin, unassuming, silver-ish horn ring.

“Aluminum,” he breathed in awe. “Aluminum like you’ve never seen before.”

Behind me, Penumbra whistled.

I looked up at the proprietor and tried to sound impressed. “Wow.”

Nope. Just couldn’t manage it.

The jeweler didn’t notice. “Salvaged from the ruins of the foundry of a First Age Sorcerer-King, this is likely the only example of eighty-five percent pure aluminum in all of Equestria. Lovingly crafted into this promise ring, the lucky mare receiving this will treasure it for generations. By any measure worth its fifty thousand bit price, wouldn’t you agree?”

While the workmanship was adequate, it was evident that the lack of material had drastically limited the options available for the artist who created the ring. Frankly, it took an effort to take it seriously. If I hadn’t learned about how expensive and extremely rare pure aluminum was before an effective smelting process was invented, I would have laughed in the stallion’s face at the absurd price. Nevertheless, I sniffed an opportunity. I tapped my hoof on the crystal countertop as I smiled. “I have an alternate proposal. What if I supply you with, say, a quarter pound of aluminum and you craft a beautiful horn ring that incorporates the elements I specify. In return, you can keep the rest of the raw metal as your payment. Does that sound fair?”

Sparkling Brooch sputtered for a moment. “Are you serious?”

I nodded, smiling wider.

The fawning salespony was gone, replaced by the look of a calculating businessman. “What purity?”

I tried to remember what got mixed into aluminum alloys and couldn’t. Best to be on the safe side. “At least ninety-five percent.”

His eyes bored into mine, perhaps trying to detect some form of scam, then he held out his forehoof. “Grand Vizier, it is a pleasure doing business with you.”

As we left the Brilliant Cut, I asked my bodyguard, “What do you think? Did the aluminum come from an ancient foundry?”

Penumbra snorted. “No... or at least, not directly. Do you know where I've seen metallic aluminum before?”

I shook my head.

“At the Royal Canterlot Museum, a few of the oldest suits of armor have threads of the metal added. Commander Hurricane's breastplate is there and has a wing design added in filigree. The method to extract the aluminum from ore was lost well before even Celestia and Luna's time.”

I stopped in the middle of the street. “Have there been any recent thefts from the museum? Or fakes substituted for the real pieces.”

She smiled. “You are devious, but no. I bet that an archeologist's graduate student uncovered then hid some armor fragments. After passing through a number of hooves, the metals were recycled and given a clean provenance. Considering how little those students are paid, it's hardly surprising.” Penumbra eyed me skeptically. “I know that look. You’re scheming.”

I tried to keep my expression neutral. “I don’t know why you would think that. Just because I’ll be adding a special request to my next care package order…”

Boy, did I ever get a reaction out of Twilight when I asked her to pass on a very specific request to Sunset! I recommended she added books on metallurgy and aluminum smelting to her own list. I also advised adding one on hydroelectric power generation if she planned to produce aluminum anytime soon. She took up the suggestion, but only because she was curious about the knowledge she would gain. The adorkable nerd wasn’t the slightest bit interested in the value of the metal at all!

During the week, Penumbra asked if Steady and I wanted to go someplace special that Friday right after Day Court. Apparently, “The Anticyclone was scheduled to blow in that weekend.” My valet was more than excited, and I reluctantly agreed, even though neither of them would tell me exactly what it was.

“That’s easy,” said Steady. “It’s a surprise.”

Trixie was no help at all, just smirking when I asked. “Not really my kind of place.”

Thirty minutes before Day Court ended on Friday, Penumbra gave up her spot next to me and Far Sight took her place. I was curious, but apparently, this had been set up ahead of time, so I didn’t interrupt court proceedings to ask about it.

When the last petitioner left, my bodyguard stepped in just before the throne room doors closed. She was out of uniform and held a small purse. She raised her wings for emphasis. “So are you coming or what? If we want a good seat, you’ve got to get a move on!”

I turned to Trixie. “Last chance to tell me exactly what I’m getting into.”

She smirked. “And spoil it? Trixie thinks not.” She gave me a quick kiss and a level stare. “You have fun.”

I got the message. ‘Have too much fun at your own peril.’

I bowed. “Yes, your worship.”

She chuckled. “Plenty of time for that later. Now off with you, Dowser.” Still on her good side… for now.

I saw Penumbra was already airborne and headed for one of the staff exits. I put on some speed to catch up to her. “Just let me head back to my room to change.”

She shook her head. “Nope! You look fine. Besides, Steady and Maxi are waiting for us just outside of castle airspace. Come on!”

Penumbra nimbly wove through the columns separating the balcony from one of the many courtyards then climbed out of sight. I grumbled as I followed as best I could. Maneuverability was still a weak spot in my pegasus form. Once I rose above the castle rooftops, I saw a frowning Penumbra impatiently circling above me. A bit chagrined, I powered after her as she left the castle grounds, still heading upwards.

Two more specks approached and resolved into Steady Flight and Maximum Lift as I chased after my bodyguard. They took their places on either side of me with Penumbra in the lead perhaps thirty feet ahead of us.

Steady grinned at me. “About time you showed up. Didn’t Penumbra tell you to hurry it up a bit?”

I growled. “Forgive me if I can’t keep up with all of you quite yet.”

Maxi smiled. “No problem, Mark. Unfortunately, the bodybuilding competitions I enter don’t give any more credit for flight muscles than they do for every other one. This is pretty much my… ” She paused with a wink. “... ‘Maxi speed’.”

I rolled my eyes at the bad pun. Knowing this mare, it was doubtless the first of many to come. “So why are we still climbing? I know for a fact we are way above the highest building in town.”

In answer, the thestral mare stared forward. I saw Penumbra had leveled off her flight, and beyond her…

I whistled. What looked from below like any other cloudbank revealed its secrets once I got to this height. A sprawling resort complex made of sculpted clouds rested on top. Graceful spires and arches shifted in a gradient from dark blue to blinding white. Arching pathways connected the buildings that all rested on different levels. I could make out a four-storey-high hotel, a small stadium, several pools bathed in lights under the surface, and a large flat building covered in neon tubes that just started to light up as we approached. The sign over the entrance proudly declared The Anticyclone Bar and Grill.

As I touched down next to Penumbra, she grinned. “Don’t let the sign fool you – this place is famous for being a dance club.”

Maxi pushed her marefriend out of the way to get my attention. “Don’t listen to her. Chef Gustave Cere-nare’s cuisine is famous across Equestria.”

Penumbra flapped up onto Maxi’s back. “Yeah, since the Anticyclone travels all across Equestria, that’s kind of by definition, birdbrain.”

Maxi shrugged her off with a playful swat of a forehoof. “I’ll have you know that I have no choice but to eat a lot of protein to keep my muscles happy and body trim.”

“And of course you might as well only have the best, right?”

“I didn’t settle for anyone but you, now did I?”

They shared a kiss and a smile.

I cleared my throat before they got too distracted with each other. “I thought we were in some kind of hurry?”

Penumbra waved a forehoof. “Nah. I’m good with the maître d’. We got reservations.”

As she trotted towards the building entrance I said, “So why the big rush to get up here?”

She shrugged. “Just wanted to get the weekend started. Anything’s more fun than waiting for you to freshen up.”

I sighed and followed the mares.

Steady chortled as he jogged past me. “She’s right you know. I swear you are worse than a mare sometimes.”

I raised my head and gave my valet a glare. He just laughed and continued on ahead of me. In my head, I added a tally mark to a list I was keeping.

After Penumbra exchanged a hug and quick conversation with the well-dressed pegasus stallion at the entrance, we were shown to our table, which consisted of two red alcove benches on either side of a circular table. Each bench could fit two ponies – I suppose to allow two couples to sit next to their dates while they socialized. However, the mares got to the table first and Steady ended up sitting beside Maxi while I sat next to my bodyguard. I was curious if this was because of Penumbra’s ongoing duty to protect my person but decided not to comment.

We got our drink and food orders in early and were soon feasting on blackened trout on steamed rice accented with a spicy kale and kidney bean salad. It was delicious and reminded me of Cajun cooking back home. True to her word, Maxi ordered three servings and the wait staff somehow brought each successive plate out just after she finished the previous. The meal was made even better by Maximum Lift’s stories of the outrageous antics her fellow weightlifters got into. Between whirlwind romances, crazy superstitions, and wildly different diets and workout regimens, Steady and I were convinced the professional rivals spent more time arguing with each other than competing!

As we waited for DJ Pon-3 to set up her gear on the parquet flooring that covered the stage, talk shifted to Maxi’s plans for the future. “Actually, I’m thinking of taking a break from competing for a bit. It’s all I’ve done and all I’ve cared about for years, but now with Penumbra in my life, I’m half-tempted to borrow me a stallion who isn’t easily breakable. Maybe try my hoof at foal-rearing for a couple of years and see if there really is life outside the gym and the spotlights on the stage.” She turned to me and grinned widely, baring her rather long fangs. I noticed Steady recoil backward slightly. “So what do you think, Mr. Grand Poobah? Are you good breeding material, and more importantly, how quickly do you heal?”

I rolled my eyes. This kind of over-the-top flirtation was nothing new. “I am so tragically sorry, my dear friend. With great reluctance, I must turn down your request because of the supremely unfair social mores of this time. No matter how strongly and passionately I might desire your flanks, my high status makes me completely unattainable. However, I will remember you if a position opens up for somepony to be my personal slave and broodmare.”

That got a head shake from Maxi while Penumbra roared with laughter. After several seconds, my bodyguard calmed down enough to say, “Oh, how the tables have been turned! A brand new collar and a rubber bone for you! Fetch, girl!”

Maxi leaned towards me and closed her jaws with an exaggerated snap. Then she smiled. “I had forgotten how filthy your mind is, Mark. Still, you make a point. I just don’t rank in your social strata.”

I waved a hoof at Steady. “How about I sacrifice my loyal retainer to the cause? As long as you have him out of a full body cast and traction in a couple of months, then I’m fine with it.”

Steady frowned. “Ha, ha, Mark. Very funn-GERK!”

Maxi had interrupted his speech by pulling his lower jaw down with a hoof and was ignoring his wide-eyed panic. “Hmmmm… Good teeth. Decent muscle tone. I think this one’s a keeper.” Penumbra and I couldn’t help but laugh at Maxi’s antics.

Steady finally got Maxi’s hoof dislodged and pulled his head back with a frown. “No, I don’t think so. I try very hard to avoid the kind of excitement that puts me in the hospital.”

I smirked and erased Steady’s recently acquired tally mark in my head. “Don’t listen to him. He’s just shy and afraid to say how much he enjoys the sight of fangs.”

Both mares caught Steady’s look of terror and betrayal that he shot my way. Unfortunately for him, this delay was more than enough time for Penumbra to scoot onto the bench on his other side, trapping him between two dangerous mares. Their fangs were on full display mere inches away from his face. I could see his body shaking from across the table.

I waved a hoof. “You work with thestrals most every day, Steady. Best to use conditioning therapy to get over your irrational fears now.”

Those fears didn’t look entirely irrational as my valet sat frozen in place, his neck being licked, nuzzled, and brushed with fangs from both sides. He stammered out, “L-l-ladies. No means no!”

“Awwwwww!” Both thestrals backed off and gave each other a knowing smile.

Steady took several deep breaths while Penumbra sat back on my bench and turned to look at him. “In all honesty, Steady Flight, I have to agree with Mark. You really should get over that phobia of yours. It can only hold you back. I can recommend a few fun mares for you to meet. And they aren’t nearly as forward as the two of us.”

Maxi said, “Are you thinking of Bent Bar?”

That got her a glare. “Maxi, dear, that girl is probably three-quarters earth pony. Yeah, she’s shy except when on stage, but even I wouldn’t want to be near her hooves when she gets excited.”

“Hmmm. I suppose you’re right. Free Weights is in the bantamweight class and she’s single right now.”

“Is that the one with the… kind of dangerous fetish?”

Maximum Lift clopped a hoof to her forehead. “I forgot! Yeah, the reason she’s single is that her guy is still in the hospital. So that’s a ‘probably not’ for her, then.” For his part, Steady shuddered.

A clear tone cut through the air, which was quickly reduced in volume. All of us turned to see DJ Pon-3 look up from her keyboard and control panel, sending a test tone through each of the many speakers in turn. She had her trademark sunglasses on and her headphones covered only one ear as she evaluated each speaker’s output. Lying down on the stage near her, a willowy unicorn mare was dressed in a material that looked like liquid silver. Her horn glowed and several compact light platforms slowly orbited around her. Occasionally, a spotlight on the platforms would flash different colors or the structures would rotate on one of their axes. As I watched, one dipped below the cloud surface of the dance floor, lighting the area from below before re-emerging seconds later.

Penumbra clopped her hooves together. “I told you this would be awesome, didn’t I? This is going to be awesome!”

Let the record state that being part of a flock of happy pegasi, griffons, and thestrals flying around the dance floor to techno music while lights flashed everywhere was indeed awesome. The magic of Harmony flowed through me and everypony else that night. At times, every flyer moved in lockstep in a spiraling dance that had exactly one mind and one soul, all guided by the DJ and her music. Being able to relax my ego and join into something greater than myself was an experience I would not forget. Once again, Steady’s claim that being a pegasus was amazing was proven right.

Hours later, many of the dancers chose to stay at the resort hotel, but our foursome flew back to Canterlot. Soon I was resting in Trixie’s bed with my marefriend. She was snoring lightly, her head on my barrel. Despite the lateness of the hour and my physical exhaustion, I wasn’t quite ready to sleep. That experience was so incredible that I started making plans. I knew that functional prosthetic wings were on the list of projects Twilight’s research teams were considering. Failing that, maybe I could arrange for the return of Steady Flight-winged Trixie to join me when the Anticyclone moored itself next to Canterlot again.

Of course, I’d have to get on Steady’s good side before that could happen. Maybe I could just ignore the remaining tally marks he had left on the clipboard in my mind.

. . .

Nah.

Who am I kidding? Where’s the fun in that?

The first visit back to Ponyville since my enforced two-week stay was also the first by my new bodyguard. Up until now, I had no complaints about her unwavering dedication to her job, and I enjoyed having her around. But I had yet to reveal my secret to her and I desperately wanted to get in some flying time with Rainbow Dash. While I wasn’t in any hurry to be a mare again, the best part of my Marklestia form was its superior flight capabilities and I wanted to stretch my wings. Ditching Penumbra proved difficult, but I managed to get her to take a short break by leaving her at Friendship Castle with the promise that I’d take two of the Royal Guards with me. As they were from Twilight’s regular squad, they already knew I could shape-change, so that wasn’t a problem.

Not my fault if they couldn’t keep up with Rainbow and me!

Of course, I introduced Penumbra to all my friends. She was very puzzled when some of the townsfolk addressed me as “Your Highness”, and she questioned why they did that and why I didn’t correct them.

I grinned. “One day soon, I’ll explain the reason behind that. And trust me – nothing I have ever said has persuaded those ponies to stop calling me that, so now I just let it slide.”

She gave me a hard stare as if I was trying to pull a fast one on her, but she couldn’t see the joke. I was really looking forward to seeing the expression on her face when I showed her my best party trick once she passed her trial period.

The look on Sparkling Brooch’s face was the highlight of my day when I hoofed over the “ingots” of aluminum to him. I presume that despite his avarice, he had still been skeptical of my ability to produce the “rare” metal. The four-inch ingots were actually cut from a commercially available flat extrusion about three-quarter inches wide by three-eighths thick. The real cost was a pittance compared to its value in Equestria. I could see dreams of vast profits in the stallion’s eyes as he regarded the three shiny bars of the nearly pure metal.

“I trust that this is sufficient incentive to produce a ring worthy of my Special Somepony in an expeditious manner?” I asked haughtily.

Without taking his eyes off the aluminum, the jeweler replied, “My Lord, this will buy you my undivided attention for the next several days, and your sketch has already been approved by my head craftspony. You have my word that your commission will be treated with the utmost discretion. Nopony outside this shop will know of it until you give us permission to advertise that fact. I will inform you when the ring is ready.”

I said, “Looking forward to it!”

I admit to being surprised at how quickly the ring was completed mere days later. However, it fitted well with my plans for a special night with Trixie culminating with my formal proposal. I hastened to the Brilliant Cut to pick it up before the afternoon Day Court session. Sparkling Brooch greeted me eagerly, almost like a colt with a new toy. He ushered me over to a locked cabinet which he opened and drew forth an ornate box. Holding it up in his magic in front of me, he slowly revealed its contents.

Inside the box was a horn ring made of delicately woven silvery filigree. As I had specified, a number of stars and crescent moons floated in a wavy background that gave the piece a “Starry Night” feel. Slight color variations and the weaving of the aluminum threads between and behind the stars and moons gave a three-dimensional quality to the band that exceeded what I had imagined. I reached up to take it from its bed of crushed velvet and I could feel the lightness of the material, confirming that it was indeed aluminum. I still couldn’t feel at all thrilled about the metal, but the exquisite workmanship more than made up for it.

The shopkeeper said, “There are three different permanence spells woven into the band, plus a location spell that only activates when not worn. I hope this heirloom meets with your satisfaction?”

I smiled at the stallion. “Sparkling Brooch, I am very pleased with your workmanship and I am satisfied with our deal. If you would please provide me with the papers for it, I will be on my way.”

“Certainly, My Lord, and it has been a distinct delight to do business with you.”

After we concluded everything and I started to head for the door, I said, “If my Special Somepony is happy with my proposal, perhaps I’ll return to get a wedding ring.”

Brooch’s eyes gleamed at the thought. “Perhaps a companion piece for the promise ring with the same business arrangement?” he asked hopefully.

I laughed. “What? Do you think I can just pick up some more aluminum at the local store? Have a good day, sir!”

I should have felt more relaxed. After all, Trixie had already made her feelings quite clear. But as Day Court closed on Friday and we headed out of the throne room, I felt a whole flock of butterflies in my stomach. Trixie and I parted ways to go to our rooms to freshen up before dinner, but I made sure to get down to the dining room before her. I checked with the wait-staff to ensure that everything that I had prepared earlier was ready. Then it was just a matter of waiting for Trixie to turn up.

When my Special Somepony arrived, I gave her a kiss and said, “I’ve arranged to have our meal out in the courtyard this evening. I thought it would make for a nice change.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow but smiled in return. “That does sound nice. Lead on, Bark Yells.”

It was a simple matter of opening one of the sets of glass doors to get to the courtyard which was enclosed by trellis fencing that was covered in blooming wisteria. Some branches also grew along wires overhead to give us dappled shade from the late afternoon sun. Competing with the wisteria on one side of the courtyard were vines of a familiar grape variety. I had playfully nicknamed it “Trixie’s Victory” and this never failed to get a cute blush from my marefriend, even before I had asked her to be such. Glancing over, I saw that just a knowing look was needed to cause the same effect. The gentlest of breezes carried the scent of the flowers through the courtyard. A small table with a sky blue tablecloth had been set up with just two place settings. Unlike most other evenings, we would be dining by ourselves tonight, and I had made sure that our guards were discreetly placed out of sight.

Trixie’s smile grew wider as I held a chair out for her. She sat down and I then took my place on the other side of the table.

“I’ve arranged a special menu for tonight. I hope you approve,” I said.

“If it’s as pleasant as this arrangement, I’m sure I will.”

I signaled to the waiting servant. She nodded and left the courtyard, returning promptly with the first course on a serving trolley. Two bowls of pumpkin soup with sweet potato and goat’s cheese garnished with parsley were set before us and then the waitress left the courtyard.

Trixie sniffed the aroma of the soup and her eyebrows rose. “Trixie is a pony of simple tastes, but this intrigues me.”

“It’s from a recipe that my mother used to make for special occasions.”

“And this is such an occasion?”

“Patience, dear. Try the soup.”

She levitated a spoonful to her lips and cautiously tasted it. Judging by how she tucked into the rest with gusto, I reckoned she approved.

The rest of the meal was similarly exciting, but the desserts came with one additional covered tray. I refused to let Trixie see what was under it until we finished the sweets. When the servant had removed the dishes, she left the courtyard and closed the doors behind her, giving us privacy. Only then did I remove the cover to reveal a small box which I picked up and brought over to Trixie. I squatted on my haunches and opened the lid of the box to reveal the ring that I had commissioned.

“Trixie Lulamoon, would you do me the honor and joy of marrying me?” I asked as I gazed at her.

Her eyes widened and she gaped in shock for a moment, then her face lit up and she squealed in delight. “A promise ring! Oh, how delightfully traditional of you, Dowser!” The ring levitated out of the box to hover in front of her nose. It rotated as she examined it closely before it rose up, slipped over her horn, and settled into place. She smiled and said, “It’s beautiful. I accept your proposal.” She then leaned forward and passionately kissed me.

As I stood up, she clopped her hooves together. “Eeeeeee! I can’t wait to tell my mother! Who knows? Maybe this will convince her to travel to Canterlot.”

I blinked. “Seriously? She hasn’t visited you since you took the throne?”

“Or even answered my letters. She’s still expressing her displeasure about my choice to become a showmare like my father after paying to get me through Celestia’s school. Trixie is somewhat impressed that she’s still holding onto her grudge until I come home to apologize. For her, it is a matter of principle. But don’t worry yourself.” She gave me a peck on the cheek. “At some point, we’ll reconcile. Being passionate runs in my family and I accept that.”

“You mean ‘being stubborn and unreasonable.’ ”

“Yes, that’s what I said. I do love how you always understand me so well.” Trixie got up from the table and shared a longer, deeper kiss.

After we finally parted, I grinned and said, “I look forward to seeing the reaction of the nobles at Day Court next week.”

Trixie shook her head. “Oh, no – I can’t wear it to Court.”

I was stunned by that totally unexpected reaction. “But… why not?”

“By long-standing tradition, royalty does not announce a promise to marry until shortly before the wedding. Most preparations are made in secret until then. If you had been around at the time Princess Cadance married Shining Armor, you would not have heard of their impending wedding until two weeks before the event.”

I stared in disbelief. “I don’t get it. Why do you do that?”

“There are many reasons – some complicated and others trivial. There are those who would take advantage of the impending nuptials, whether it be political, social, or financial. It can be disruptive to the business of running the kingdom. There are also those who would see your role as Grand Vizier being biased due to our relationship.”

“But that would still be true after we’re married!” I objected.

“But you would be a prince then and my equal, so their arguments would be invalid.”

I blinked. “Wait. What? Why would I get a crown? I thought I’d be your consort or something?”

Trixie smirked and replied, “By Equestrian law, you acquire the same rank as your spouse. That is why Shining Armor is a prince. Now do you see why we give the nobility and others so little time to object or maneuver to take advantage?”

I frowned. “I also see the fruits of your and Twilight’s efforts to give me even more responsibility for the welfare of Equestria .”

She waved a hoof airily. “A purely coincidental side effect… probably.”

“Mmm-hmm. Sure it is,” I replied sulkily, knowing I had been outmaneuvered again. “But I really wanted to see you wearing that ring.”

My fiancée nuzzled me. “I will wear it whenever there are only those about who know of our relationship and can be trusted not to tell. I, too, look forward to the day that we formally announce the wedding and I will proudly show it off. It’s a beautiful ring.” She levitated the filigree band off of her horn and placed it on her hoof to examine it. “And so light, too. What is it made of?”

“Almost pure aluminum,” I answered and waited for her reaction.

Trixie gasped. “What! It can’t be! So much precious metal must have cost an insane amount. I did not think this much aluminum existed in Equestria. Did you melt down Commander Hurricane's armor? As much as I loved the surprise, I would have preferred if you had told me first. Still, this gesture was so romantic that Trixie is—”

I was horrified. “No! I would never do that to a priceless Equestrian artifact!”

She paused and then gave me a hard look. “Where did you get the aluminum?”

“I… ah… have connections.”

She frowned. “Do you mean that it came from that human world?”

There was no fooling Trixie. I gulped and nodded.

“And how rare is aluminum there?”

“It’s… not. But I wanted to give you something unique for a simple promise ring!” I objected.

“Simple and cheap, you mean!”

I was starting to get annoyed. I tried to keep it out of my voice. “This ring was made by the finest jewelers I could find. It’s probably more valuable than any given wing of the palace.”

She looked it over critically. “Trixie agrees that the craftsmanship is first-rate. Its value in Equestrian bits indeed would be difficult to calculate.” She gave me a level stare. “Or at least until Twilight Sparkle reproduces the method to create the raw metal in huge quantities. Is Trixie correct on this?”

Trixie had switched back to the third person. That was not a good sign.

She nodded and placed the ring back on her horn. “As Trixie suspected. Did you pay for the craftsmanship with bits or was it part of the barter agreement?”

“The latter,” I admitted.

“And what was the equivalent in Equestrian bits that you paid altogether?”

I crossed my forehooves. “I know when to keep my ‘fool mouth’ shut.”

She held up a hoof. “Trixie… I apologize for my past actions when I struck you… down there. My reaction was uncalled for.”

I was not done grousing. “Or at least until your ‘passionate’ nature causes the same thing to happen.”

She shook her head. “That was no excuse. Trixie swears that she will not do that again.”

I waited a bit and then nodded.

My marefriend arched an eyebrow. “So then. A hundred gold bits? More?”

I paused for several seconds then sighed.

“Less? Twenty gold bits? Ten?”

I shuffled uncomfortably.

Her eyes went wide. “One gold bit?”

I did some math in my head. “Less than a silver bit.”

She stared open-mouthed then broke out in laughter, pounding the floor. “Oh, by Celestia! No wonder you don’t like Flim and Flam! They are such rank amateurs compared to you, Aardvark Expels.”

I frowned as I waited for her to stop laughing. I had wanted to leave the twins in prison forever as an example to fraudsters everywhere, but Trixie offered them a plea bargain. In return for public service work and putting pony names to every one of the numerical transactions in their ledgers, they had a chance to work off their debt to society. At night, they slept in their cells. By day, they scanned magazines and newspapers in the Department of the Treasury, ferreting out schemes and questionable business practices. In return for each scam they uncovered, the Treasury provided restitution to their victims. Their ability to sniff out cons was almost supernatural, but it would still be years before they completed their obligation to the kingdom.

Once I was sure Trixie was paying attention again I said, “I’m sorry you don’t like the ring.”

“Oh, but I do like it! It will forever remind me of how shrewd a stallion you are, which is one of the reasons I love you. But cheap is still cheap. Trixie expects better of her future husband. Good night, Shark Smells!” She stalked off regally, leaving my plans for a romantic evening shattered.

Sighing sadly, I trudged out of the courtyard. I found Penumbra waiting for me outside of the dining hall.

“Well? How did it go?”

“She accepted my proposal,” I replied.

“Then why did she just leave here by herself and you look like someone died?”

“It seems she was unimpressed by the aluminum. She figured out where it came from in nothing flat.”

“I thought she’d do that.”

I stopped and stared at the mare. “You knew that Trixie wouldn’t like it? Why didn’t you say something?”

“My job is to keep your cute bod safe, not mess with your relationships. Besides, you never did ask my opinion about the ring.”

She was right – I had outsmarted myself. So here I was with a brand new fiancée and I was already in the dog house. Crap.

I didn’t get to spend the night with Trixie for a week, but she always wore the ring when in private. I’ll take my wins where I can.

The knock on my door this morning was fifteen minutes early, as I had requested the previous night. “Come in.”

A smiling Penumbra stepped into my room. Steady was busy laying out my attire for the day.

“Would you close the door, please?”

Her grin grew to epic proportions as she did so. “Ah! So here’s where we find out if two moderate-size stallions can equal one thestral bodybuilder. Bring it on, colts!”

I rolled my eyes and I heard Steady snort. “I don’t think I want to find out how long either of us would survive the aftermath. No, but thanks for offering.”

That got a laugh out of my bodyguard. “Oh, you’d be surprised how generous my Maxi can be… sometimes.”

I smiled. I could never seem to get in the last word with her because of her quick wit. Time to get down to business.

“First of all, congratulations on becoming my permanent bodyguard. Your probationary period is officially over.”

Penumbra gave me a theatrical and very smooth bow, complete with wing flourish. She then stood back up and waited.

“There’s something you need to know so you are prepared in case I have to use my special talent to defend myself. This is considered a state secret, not to be shared with anypony outside of my, Twilight’s, and Trixie’s personal guard detail.” I changed into my long-maned Marklestia body, posing regally but taking care to keep my cutie mark visible. “Also, I take this form most of the time when I visit Ponyville.”

Penumbra’s mouth opened in shock for a second before she recovered, showing an even bigger fanged grin than before. “Just when I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.”

I blinked and pulled my head back. Then it was my turn to recover and I glared at her.

Penumbra was rolling on the floor, her hooves flailing in the air. “Your face! The look on your face!” She went back to laughing uproariously.

I turned to Steady for help, but he was no use. “It was a good try, Mark. At this point, you should just give up on getting the better of her.”

I sighed as I reverted to my normal form. It looked like pulling successful pranks on my new bodyguard might be a challenge way beyond my ability.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Yes, aluminium (or aluminum as Americans insist on spelling it) used to be considered a precious metal until someone figured out a way to extract it from ore cheaply. It's an electrolytic process, and since Equestria isn't big on electricity yet, it remains a rare metal... for the moment.

Art by Skyeypony

Chapter 36 - Looking Back, Looking Forward

When I next spent the weekend in Ponyville, I didn’t need to explain to Penumbra anymore why some of the citizens of that town always called me “Your Highness”. Naturally, she insisted on calling me “Princess” from then on. Of course, I was indulging in wearing my Marklestia form, so she had a good excuse, but I resorted to calling her “Penny” until she got the hint. Didn’t stop her from snickering every time I was addressed as royalty though. I would have stuck to my normal stallion form, but this was a special occasion and the townsponies wanted to see both of me. I had hoped Steady could join us but he was hosting family visiting Canterlot. One side effect of Tirek’s attack was the renewed appreciation of relatives living across Equestria. Steady’s family was no exception and they made it a priority to get together much more frequently.

The special occasion? The anniversary of my arrival in Equestria! Yes, one whole year in this land of magical and colorful equines. However, the residents of Ponyville were told it was to celebrate my move to Canterlot to take up the role of Grand Vizier to Princess Trixie, a fiction that my fiancée happily maintained whenever she was asked.

Of course, Trixie was there too! You didn’t think I’d leave my future wife behind while I went to party with my friends, did you? She brought along Raven Inkwell also and persuaded Moon Dancer to get away from her books and join in the fun. In hindsight, that might have been a bad idea.

Our entourage had arrived at the Ponyville station, traveling in the Royal Coach, of course. It was a first for Twilight’s new advisor and she had apparently enjoyed the experience. There was a carriage waiting for us as Trixie had insisted, so we rode through the town in style, flanked by her personal Guards and of course, Penumbra. Trixie regally waved at the townsfolk who greeted us, but I didn’t dare tell her that the majority of the reception was actually for me. Between my hero status and all the friends I’d made, the residents of Ponyville enjoyed my visits as much as I did. I made sure to keep close by my fiancée’s side though so that they seemed to be focused on her. We pulled up outside of Twilight’s castle and we alighted. The Royal Guards stationed by the door saluted as we entered to find Twilight and my friends waiting to greet us in the entrance hall.

Twilight welcomed us and especially Moon Dancer who had never been to Ponyville before. She then introduced her friends and finally asked Spike to fetch the last guest.

Twilight said to Moon Dancer, “I asked my stallionfriend to hold back until I could introduce him. He’s not like other ponies, and in fact, you may be shocked, but I want you to know that he’s a good person. Moony, I’d like you to meet Thorax.”

As soon as Moon Dancer saw the changeling, she started to tremble and excused herself, visibly upset.

Twilight was offended for Thorax’s sake and started to follow the unicorn, but he stopped her.

“It’s alright, Twilight – I understand how she feels,” Thorax said.

“But you’re not like those other changelings!” the alicorn protested.

“It doesn’t matter. You were there and you saw some of the terrible things that my kind did during the invasion. Lots of ponies were mentally scarred by the experience. That’s not going to go away anytime soon.”

“I know that, but it also won’t go away without doing something about it!”

“You’re right, but she needs reassurance, not a lecture,” he replied softly. “We can’t force her to accept me. Let her come to me on her own when she’s ready.”

Twilight bit her lip and nodded. “I’ll do that, but she also needs to know how different you are from your former hive-mates.”

Different was right and in more than one way. Thorax’s wings glittered more than ever, and the holes in his limbs had nearly filled in. Twilight speculated that because he was getting a steady diet of positive emotions including a healthy dose of love which he didn’t need to share with the other changelings, he was finally getting nourished properly. That led to the corollary that all the other changelings had to be perpetually malnourished, something that had given Twilight, Trixie, and me considerable food for thought. But Moon Dancer wasn’t going to be interested in any of that right now.

I approached Twilight and said, “I’ll go with you to help reassure Moon Dancer.”

She nodded, gave Thorax a kiss, and then we trotted off together.

We found Moon Dancer in the castle library. She had backed herself into a corner between two bookshelves and was shaking uncontrollably. I shared a look with Twilight as we walked up near to her. We both lay down on the floor and waited for her to acknowledge us. Eventually, she noticed us.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just… I just…” She trailed off and started sobbing. Twilight came up and gave her a hug with both her forelegs and her wings. They stayed like this for some time, with Moon Dancer crying gently and Twilight stroking her mane.

When Moon Dancer had calmed down a bit I said, “Thorax has been helping Equestria develop better spells and defenses for use against Queen Chrysalis. He let Shining Armor cast spells on him and has provided samples of resin so we can find potions and spells that counteract it. He’s not an infiltrator, just a common drone that was forced with many others to join the attack on Canterlot. He has earned our trust and I think, if you give him a chance, he can earn yours.”

Twilight pulled back and said, “I trust him, Moon Dancer. Other than my brother and sister-in-law, nopony held a bigger grudge against changelings than me, and I’m happy to call Thorax my close friend now.” Twilight gave her another hug. “Can you tell us what happened to you during the invasion? We’re here to support and help you, Moony.”

Moon Dancer took several deep breaths before she spoke. “T-Thank you, Twilight. I just... I can't talk about it right now. I'm sure Thorax is a nice... pony... but I just can't right now.” She gulped a couple of times. “I’ll… I’ll be alright, but… I just need to be alone for a bit. Thank you, Twilight.”

“Can I help?”

Twilight and I turned around to see Spike standing behind us. That gave him a line-of-sight to Moon Dancer.

He craned his head. “Hey, Moon Dancer. Long time, no see.”

She sniffed and brushed away tears with a hoof. “H-h-hi, Spike. I’m sorry you have to see me so upset.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Are you kidding? I’m the terrifying, fire-breathing, ferocious dragon of Ponyville. If ponies aren’t fainting at the sight of me, I think something is wrong.” He held up his claws and gave out a very half-hearted, “Roar.”

Everypony just blinked at him. He smiled. “Well, it’s official. Either I’m losing my touch or you are definitely not related to the Flower Sisters.”

Moon Dancer smiled a bit.

“You have no idea how long Twilight paced around this very library worrying about how all of her old friends at school think about her now.” He raised his voice in a decent falsetto impersonation of his sister and started walking around, miming her nervously nibbling on a forehoof. “I don’t know, Spike. I’m sure all of my school friends hate me for just forgetting about them! I mean, who just moves on from their friends like that?”

Spike returned to his normal look. He arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms. In his regular voice, he said, “Everypony in the history of ever?”

Back to Twilight’s voice and walking around. “No! But I’m the Princess of Friendship! I’m exempt from the rules that everypony else lives by!”

That got a chuckle out of both me and Moon Dancer. Twilight narrowed her eyes and frowned.

Spike resumed his ‘himself’ pose. “Twilight, why don’t you just talk to them?”

Back to Twilight’s voice. Spike threw his hands over his head. “No! I get much more accomplished by walking around in circles and pretending I can just think the problem away!”

That got a bigger laugh out of Moon Dancer. It was obvious that Spike had a lot of practice at paraphrasing his sister’s manic episodes.

Twilight said levelly, “I don’t remember the conversation going exactly like that, Spike.”

“Pretty much nailed it, I think.” Spike walked up to Moon Dancer. “In any case, you’re in just the right spot. This is the ‘Castle of the Two Sisters’ wing of the library. No book here is less than a thousand years old.” He held out a clawed hand to the unicorn. “I read your graduate thesis, by the way. Did you know that Elderberry the Unready wrote about the same topic almost fifteen hundred years ago?”

“Really?” Moon Dancer’s ears perked forward and she let Spike help her up. “He wrote about underground ley lines?”

Spike lead her to a nearby bookcase. “More than that. He even experimented with diamond dogs, a dragon, and a pegasus to map their strength in the caves under what would later be Canterlot. Can you guess what he hypothesized about their strength compared to earth and air magic in any given area?”

Moon Dancer gasped. “No! I never thought about that.”

Spike grinned. “Fortunately, he included the raw data so you can decide for yourself if his conclusions were justified.” He pointed. “Sixth shelf up. The second and third books from the right side.”

As Moon Dancer’s magic glow surrounded the books in question, Twilight and I slipped out.

Once we were in the hallway, I gave Twilight a bump in the side with my hip. “You’ve got a great little brother, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” She frowned. “I still don’t think the conversation happened that way.”

I smiled. “Just the gist of it.”

Her ears flattened back, but she didn’t dispute what I had said.

When we rejoined the others, I escorted Trixie up to her room. She had a separate one because we were still keeping our engagement a secret, but it was right next to mine so we didn’t have to go out of the way to be together. My fiancée was amused by how protective Twilight was of her stallionfriend and I wondered if Trixie realized how deep the feelings between them really were. Actually, I wondered if even Twilight knew. She had the superpower of denial, but it was obvious from Twilight’s body language that our nerdy alicorn was badly smitten. The time spent with him during the Season had certainly done much to build that relationship, and I couldn’t say that it was a bad thing. Heck, I liked the guy!

We had a light luncheon, saving ourselves for the big party this evening. I wasn’t sure if Pinkie was going to last that long – she was already vibrating from excitement. Actually, she seemed a little out of kilter today. Her smile was a little too wide and her left eyelid twitched a little too much. I put that down to being barely able to restrain herself – Party Ponies take themselves seriously!

After the meal, I excused myself to slip into something more comfortable. Although I had invited Trixie to accompany me, she had begged off, preferring to hang around with the other mares. I pointed out that I was going to be one of the mares very soon, but she was uninterested. What does a shape-changing alien from another universe have to do to impress his fiancée?

Penumbra came up to my room with me and waited while I changed – both form and clothing. I managed to stun her for a whole five seconds when I showed off my faux leather outfit.

The thestral whistled and said, “Wow! You’re lucky you’re spoken for. I’d be so all over you right now otherwise.”

I grinned. “Sorry – you’re not my type.”

“Too bad your type isn’t smart, sexy, and dangerous mares. Best to leave those to Maxi, and now Thorax.” Penumbra gave me a triumphant grin.

I smirked. “And now Trixie.”

“Meh.” Her smile fell and she tilted her head. “We’ll get you there eventually.”

I sighed and shook my head. I don’t know why I still tried to get the best of her.

We headed out to visit my Ponyville friends, and Penny learned all about what I did during my previous visits to the village. We passed by the former library tree and we paused to admire its regrowth. With Tree Hugger and Applejack’s guidance, Twilight had been using her earth pony powers to stimulate budding of new branches from the blasted stump that had remained after Tirek’s attack. On weekends, she always spent at least a half hour pouring her magic into her former home, and it had responded marvelously. While it still had a long way to go, the tree now had a crown of leafy growth that displayed its renewed health. She had consulted books on the construction of library trees and had made it her personal goal to have it once again serve that purpose, although I doubted that she would ever live there again. There were some things that a Princess of Equestria just could not do.

On the way, I saw Fluttershy buying produce at the Ponyville market. I separated myself from the two princesses and their guards to say hello, my thestral shadow right behind me. She saw Penumbra and I coming and pranced up to us, happily carrying the handle of a woven basket in her mouth. She set it down and gave both of us a hug.

“It’s great to see you two again, Mark and Penumbra.”

“Just want to make sure you know about the party tonight, Flutters.”

“I wouldn’t miss it! I can’t believe it’s been a whole year already.”

“And who else would I celebrate it with than all of my friends?”

Fluttershy looked uncertainly at Penumbra then back to me. “Mark? If you don't mind, may I ask why you didn't bring your other bodyguard with you?”

I gave her a sad smile. “I'm afraid Crimson Boulder isn't my personal bodyguard any longer.”

Fluttershy's eyes went wide and her pupils shrunk to pinpricks. “Wait. Was this because of me?” She started to tremble.

“No, Fluttershy. I can't go into the reasons, but no.”

She stopped shaking and glared at me. “If I hadn’t burst into your room that night, would he still be your bodyguard?”

I hesitated. “I'm afraid it was inevitable.”

“I thought so. It was because of me.” She frowned. “Did you know that he came to my cottage the evening after you finally left for Canterlot?”

“He did?” I was genuinely surprised.

She nodded. “It was not long after the last train came into town, I think...”

Fluttershy jumped at the knock at the door.

Discord looked up from his knitting. The free ends of the ramen noodles took that opportunity to hiss at him, which Discord quickly swatted back into limpness. “Would you like me to get that for you, my dear?”

Fluttershy swallowed. “Umm... no. No thank you, Discord. I'll... I'll go see who it is.”

Taking a deep breath, the pegasus opened the upper door far enough to peek outside. A slightly familiar earth pony stallion stood on her front porch. He wasn’t wearing any clothes that would give her a clue as to his profession. The stallion held a very grumpy badger by the nape of its neck. “Good evening, Miss Fluttershy. Would you mind asking your friend here to stop trying to bite me?”

She flung the upper door open with a bang. “Reginald! What have I told you about attacking ponies?”

The badger proceeded to let out a long series of growls and chirps combined with various arm and hand motions, most pointing back at the stallion.

Fluttershy held up a hoof. “I won't hear a word of it. Now I want you to apologize to the nice pony.”

Reginald made one final plea that had no effect on the mare. He collapsed into a limp heap, letting out a soft moan.

“That's better. Off you go now.”

The earth pony stallion gently set the badger down. It scampered off, but not before giving a glare over its shoulder at the pony.

Fluttershy smiled as she opened the lower door. “I am so sorry, sir. He's usually the gentlest soul in the whole town. I don't know what got into him. He didn't actually bite you, did he?”

He shook his head. “That's quite alright, miss. I'm Crimson Boulder, by the way.”

Her face lit up in recognition. “Oh, that's right! You've come to Ponyville before with Mark and Steady. Umm... would you like to come in?”

“If you wouldn't mind.”

“Oh... umm... of course. Please have a seat in the living room. I'll make some tea and be with you in a moment.”

Fluttershy found the guardspony sitting on her sofa when she brought in the teapot and two cups. Discord floated upside down on the other side of the room, now somehow lacing his knitting needles together using woven squares of ramen noodles. She blinked and looked away before the sight gave her a headache. Angel Bunny was standing on top of a prone Harry, apparently trying to get the bear's attention by tapping a rear leg.

Crimson Boulder took the offered cup. “Thank you, Miss Fluttershy.”

“Oh, you're very welcome. Umm... if you don't mind my asking, does this have something to do with Mark?”

“Yes, ma'am. But first, is it alright if I talk about what happened two weeks ago?” He glanced around the room, earning a raised (or in this case, lowered) eyebrow from the upside-down Discord.

“Oh! Yes, that's fine. All of my friends here know about my condition and what happened to me.”

Crimson nodded and sipped his tea. “Thank you. Well, I don't know if you remember, but I had the opportunity to stop you when Mark called for help. Instead, I refrained from doing so and I am here to apologize. My actions put both you and Mark in much greater danger than if I had simply used my training to subdue you. Because Mark is not proficient at defending himself, he could have potentially maimed or killed you, or he could have been overwhelmed and you would have gotten pregnant, entirely outside of your ability to choose.”

Harry Bear loomed over the back of the sofa, glaring down at Crimson. Discord had righted himself and floated in from the left. Angel hopped menacingly in from the right.

If Crimson noticed the trio converging on him, he didn't show it. “There was no excuse for my failure to take proper actions, Miss Fluttershy. Keeping all citizens of Equestria safe is—”

“Colts,” said the yellow pegasus firmly, all trace of shyness gone from her voice. They stopped moving forward and looked at her. Her level stare moved across each of them. “At what point were you part of this conversation?”

Angel and Harry's eyes went wide and they retreated until they left the room. Fluttershy then settled her stare on Discord, who wilted visibly. “Uh... I'll just... leave you two to work things out then.” At her continued glare, he trembled a bit, then finally added, “I won't do anything to him.” He held up his clawed hand and paused. “I promise.” Fluttershy nodded and Discord disappeared with a snap of his claws.

Fluttershy smiled and turned back to the guardsman. “Now then, Crimson Boulder.” She took a sip of her tea. “What were you saying before we were so rudely interrupted?”

“... but the important thing is that your friend was genuinely sorry for his mistake and was willing to do whatever it took to atone for it.”

I nodded. “That was very commendable of him. Thank you for telling me.”

She narrowed her gaze. “Are you still friends?”

I hesitated. “I still consider him such, and he teaches me self-defense on a weekly basis.”

“You didn't answer my question. Since you fired him, have you gone out and done anything that friends do with each other?”

“No.”

Fluttershy moved a little closer. I had heard of her ‘stare’ that could cow even the largest of dragons, and what I was experiencing now couldn't be far from that. “Mark, if I couldn't forgive my friends—truly forgive them—every time they made a mistake, I would be very lonely.”

I sighed and looked down. “I'll give that serious thought. Thank you, Fluttershy.”

She nodded, picked up her basket of vegetables, and trotted off.

Penumbra moved up next to me. “And here I thought Twilight Sparkle was the Element of Friendship.”

I grimaced. “Well, apparently I fall a bit short.”

Our meandering about town eventually brought us to the train station. I had steered us there upon hearing the locomotive’s steam whistle in the distance. I was joined by Twilight and Trixie as we were expecting important visitors. Right on schedule, the Crystal Express pulled up at the platform and it wasn’t long before Princess Cadance and Shining Armor stepped out.

After the usual round of greetings and hugs, we headed back to the castle. Shiny used the opportunity to have a chat with me.

“It’s really good to see you again, Mark. Are you going to the party like that?”

I shook my head. “Nah – I was just enjoying schmoozing with the townsponies. I’ll switch back to stallion form later.”

“I hear you have something extra to celebrate,” he said with a wink.

I smirked. “Seems royal gossip supersedes protocol. We’re not ready to announce the date yet, so it still has to stay hushed up. It’s a pain.”

Shining nodded. “I hear you. I hated keeping the news of my wedding to Cadance a secret from Twily and my parents, and then the state of emergency screwed things up even more. I hope yours goes a lot smoother.”

“As long as it isn’t boring. I won’t jinx myself by saying anything more.”

He chuckled. “Somehow, I won’t be surprised if something does happen.”

“Me neither.” My life was one long series of weird happenings, so why would it change now?

“Anyway, as you can’t say anything yet, Cady and I will step up instead.”

“Oh? What are you planning?”

He gave me a wink. “Can’t tell you yet. It’s going to be a big surprise for Twily though.”

I turned over the possibilities in my mind, then I considered the timing. I glanced over to Cadance who was looking exceptionally cheerful today. I tried an experimental probe. “So – how did you feel when you got the news?”

A slow smile spread on Shining’s face until he caught himself and flattened his expression. “What news?”

“Uh-huh.” That answered my unspoken question. Most ponies weren’t half as good at keeping secrets as they thought they were.

We continued to converse about what had been happening in our lives since we last talked, waving and greeting ponies along the way. Abruptly, we were halted by three excited fillies who came up to give me a hug. They were practically bouncing on their hooves!

“Mark! Guess what!” Applebloom squeaked.

“You’re hyped up about the party?” I asked with a smile.

“No! We got our cutie marks!” they chorused.

The Crusaders turned sideways to proudly display their no longer blank flanks.

I grinned and said, “Congrats! I see that they all are themed alike. Did you get them at the same time?”

“Yes, we did!” Scootaloo replied. “It was awesome!”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for your cuteceñiera, girls.”

“That’s okay, Mark. We can celebrate at your party,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Awesome. You can tell me all about how you got them there.”

“We will. Seeya!”

And then they were gone at their normal precipitous rate. I chuckled and resumed my trek.

Back at the castle, after the usual round of greetings, I slipped away to change. By the time I rejoined them, I discovered that Twilight and the other Element Bearers were going off on a kind of scavenger hunt, urged on by an extremely hyper Pinkie. That left just Trixie, Cadance, Shining Armor, Thorax, Spike, and myself until the party was due to begin. Spike played the host and went to fetch snacks for the visitors. I noticed Thorax gazing intently at Cadance’s barrel and I wondered if he could sense something that I couldn’t. Cadance noticed and put a hoof to her lips with a soft “shhh” sound. I decided that I might as well say something as the target of the surprise was currently absent.

“By the way, Cadance, I believe congratulations are in order.”

The Princess of Love gave me a surprised look before glaring at her husband.

Shining waved his forehooves in denial. “I didn’t say anything!”

“He really didn’t. I’m just good at putting together clues, which is why I’m Trixie’s advisor.”

Trixie was startled. “You mean, you’re pregnant?”

Cadance nodded. “We took advantage of the Season to ensure conception, but we always wanted it to be a surprise for Twilight. When we got the invitation to Mark’s party, we thought it was the perfect excuse to visit Ponyville and spring the news. We sent a note ahead to the Cakes to prepare something special. Pinkie got wind of it accidentally, so she promised not to say anything until we could do so. The poor dear has been practically bursting to spill the beans. Hopefully, the scavenger hunt will help keep her occupied for a little longer.”

Trixie got up to hug Cadance. “Trixie is happy for her fellow princess. So – are you hoping for a pegasus or a unicorn?”

“I’m leaning toward a pegasus like I was before I ascended, but Shiny doesn’t care as long as it’s a colt that he can play hoofball with,” she said with a chuckle.

Knowing the odds of a male birth, I kind of hoped it would be a unicorn like the father. Time would tell though. Pony pregnancies were a lot longer than human ones, so we all had a considerable wait for the answer.

We had a chance to converse for a while before the scavenger hunters returned a bit sooner than expected, no doubt hustled by a now-manic Pinkie Pie. Cadance and Shining got to make their announcement, and it was adorable how Twilight freaked out at the news.

And so, we had one heck of a combined party to celebrate both the pregnancy and my anniversary. Many of our Ponyville friends joined us, and I found out that Vinyl Scratch had volunteered her services for a dance session later. It was quite a blow-out, and Trixie and I enjoyed ourselves immensely. Thorax had to leave earlier than most, citing bloating from overeating. While his capacity for consuming love had increased over the weeks, there was more than enough to feed dozens of changelings at that event. Twilight excused herself to help Thorax work off some of that excess energy. Yes, Twily, I know how you plan to do that. When are you going to realize that the rest of us aren’t blind?

Then again, Trixie was quite frisky herself that night. I wondered if our eventual wedding announcement would be an unsurprising event for our friends too. Not that I cared. I was with my mare and I was happy.

At the party, Rarity had announced her plans to open a boutique in Canterlot. It had been a dream of hers since foalhood and long in the planning. The perfect location had finally opened up but the catch was that she needed to raise some funds to afford it. Since I had saved so much money due to the aluminum ring debacle, I had cash to spare, so I offered to help her out. She accepted on the condition that I was a silent partner rather than a mere investor. Considering all she had done for me, I was happy to accommodate her wishes.

After several weeks spent extensively remodeling the shop, making preparations, and hiring a mare to manage the store, the fashionista was ready for opening day. Regrettably, it coincided with a Day Court morning session that I had to attend, so I was not there for the grand opening. Instead, I had arranged with Rarity to have a tentative luncheon date that day so that she could tell me how it went. I quietly hoped that she would be so busy making her new clients happy that she would ask me to just bring her back something.

I arrived at the shop a little after midday, finding it satisfyingly full of customers. To my surprise though, the range of dresses that I had seen Rarity prepare were absent, replaced by multiple copies of a design that Trixie had worn at a recent major event that my fiancée had commissioned Rarity to make. A sign at the counter said, “Order your Princess Dress here”, and apparently many mares were doing just that. I raised an eyebrow at the obsession for the current fad. Even as a mare, I had never felt the urge to wear the “in” thing, but whatever made these mares happy, I suppose. Rarity had to be making a lot of money from all the sales. It just felt odd to me that she was making so many of a single design. It just didn’t seem like… Rarity.

Speaking of whom, she was nowhere to be seen. Only her shop manager, Sassy Saddles, whom I had met briefly once, was in attendance, cheerfully taking orders. I was surprised that Rarity wasn’t out here with the customers as she loved to be. However, I knew where to find her. I headed towards the back room.

Abruptly, I was confronted by Sassy who blocked the way. “I’m afraid that is off-limits to customers, sir,” she said politely but coolly.

“It’s alright, Ms. Saddles – I’m here to meet Rarity for a luncheon date.”

Apparently, she recognized me then. “Ah, yes – Mr. Wells, isn’t it? I’m afraid Rarity will be unable to go out today as she is quite busy. Her Princess Dress is overwhelmingly popular, and she is committed to giving her customers outstanding service, so she is currently hard at work.”

“I see. Well, I’ll just pop in and have a quick word with her to see if she needs a short break instead of a long lunch.”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Mr. Wells.” The tall mare emphasized her words by looming over me.

My eyebrows raised. “You can’t let me?” I echoed. Sassy wasn’t aware that I was Rarity’s business partner, but that didn’t give her the right to stop me from seeing my friend, especially for a prearranged date. I called over my shoulder, “Penumbra – this mare is in my way.”

Suddenly, a leathery wing intervened between us and the thestral hissed at Sassy menacingly. Sassy squealed and jumped aside. I thanked Penny and headed through the door into Rarity’s workshop.

I found my friend working just as hard as Sassy had implied. Several finished dresses hung on hangers while many more were in various stages of construction. Materials and tools were flying around in a bewildering display of telekinetic talent, assembling more dress components as Rarity diligently worked at the sewing machine. How one mare could coordinate so many things at once, I had no idea, but it left me in awe. Eventually, I cleared my throat loudly to get her attention.

The aerial ballet paused as Rarity turned around to face me. “Mark, darling! Forgive me for not being ready for our luncheon date. I… I’m afraid that I am going to have to beg off as the response to my opening day has far exceeded my expectations.”

“So I see. Can I get you something to eat and drink anyway?”

“Thank you, but no. Sassy has that well in hoof.”

“Okay. Would you like to reschedule for tomorrow then?”

“That would be wonderful. I look forward to it.”

I gave her a nuzzle. “Keep up the good work, and I’ll see you then.”

She nuzzled me back. “Have a nice day, darling.”

She was back in full production mode before I was out the door.

Sassy glared at me as I passed through the shop, but I merely smiled politely and said, “See you tomorrow, Ms. Saddles!” That was sure to piss her off. I left with a grin on my face.

The shop seemed no less busy the next day, but at least Sassy Saddles didn’t try to stop me this time. She gave me the stink eye though and said, “Do make it quick. Mr. Wells.”

The workshop was filled with even more dresses than yesterday, all of the same design. Rarity was hard at work still and barely noticed when I greeted her.

“Oh, dear! Is that the time? I’m truly sorry, Mark, but the sales orders have been coming in so fast that I can barely cope. I’m going to be busy for the rest of the day and until late into the evening.”

“So, luncheon is cancelled, I presume?”

“I’m afraid so. Perhaps I can find the time tomorrow…”

“I’m afraid not. My time is already committed tomorrow – the day after too. Trixie and I have to be out of town.”

“I see. Perhaps when you return, we can catch up then? I’ll surely be on top of this rush by that time.”

I smiled. “It’s a date. Take it easy, Rarity. Don’t let this run you into the ground.”

She smiled faintly. “I will do my best. Thank you for coming, Mark.”

“Anytime, Rares.”

I left feeling glum. In all the time that I had known Rarity, she had never been less than upbeat about her dressmaking. It was a passion and raison dêtre of her life. Right now though, she more resembled a harassed factory worker. It was difficult to see how the success of her store had so backfired on her. After so much time planning the boutique, what had she done wrong?

Rarity looked and sounded like a wreck when I returned to Canterlot. If I didn’t know better, I would have said that she hadn’t left the room since I had last visited her. I didn’t know a lot about the fashion industry, but I knew that this had to stop.

“What are you doing to yourself, Rarity? You look awful!”

The unicorn looked as if she was ready to burst into tears. “I know! I had finally caught up to all the orders when Cosmare magazine came out. My boutique was the cover story with an article by Fashion Plate enthusing over my fashions. Then even more orders for the Princess Dress poured in!”

“You must be making a stack of money. You’ll be able to buy out my share of the business already.”

“I don’t want to buy you out! I want to make fashions for the ponies of Canterlot. I want to pour TLC into every dress!” She bowed her head. “I have achieved everything that I dreamed of, and I’m miserable, Mark. How can I put in the TLC they deserve?”

TLC – the mantra that Rarity lived by. Time, Love, and Couture. I had learned all about that when she was making the fashions for me. Her enthusiasm then was infectious. I glanced around me at all the identical dresses and shook my head. “Where’s the TLC here, Rares?”

She stiffened and looked about her workshop. I saw her expression firm and she got up off her chair. “You are quite right, Mark. Pardon me – I need to talk with Sassy Saddles.”

She marched out to the shop with determination.

“Sassy, we need to talk!”

“I know!” enthused the blue unicorn. “Isn’t it marvelous how successful this week has been? I took another hundred orders for the Princess Dress today!”

“Cancel them. I can’t keep up this rate of production.”

“I have the perfect solution for that,” Sassy replied, undeterred. “Assemble the assembly line! You’ll never have to sew again.”

“What? No! You’re missing the point.”

“Yes! Then the Canterlot Carousel never closes and Sassy Saddles’ boutique succeeds!”

“Stop! This is not your boutique – it’s mine, and I want nothing to do with your vision for this store. As such, I have decided to close the shop. Make up some flyers for a going-out-of-business sale.”

“WHAT?! You can’t, Rarity. I’ve worked too hard to make this a success. I can’t be a part of another failed boutique!”

“It’s a victim of its own success, Sassy. You got what you wanted but neglected everything that I dreamed of achieving.” She firmly closed the shop door, flipping the ‘OPEN’ sign to ‘CLOSED’. Rarity gathered up all the Princess Dresses on display and stashed them in the workshop, returning with all the other dresses that she had designed. “So nice to see you out here again,” she said with a smile as she put them on display.

“What am I supposed to do?” Sassy asked helplessly.

“Get started on those flyers. Oh, and deliver the finished dresses to those who have already paid for theirs. Cancel all the other orders.”

The unicorn sighed in resignation. “Yes, Rarity.”

“And as for you,” Rarity said, turning towards me, “we have an overdue luncheon date to keep.”

I smiled, happy to see my friend back to her normal self. “Anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”

“Anywhere they won’t mind us lingering for a few hours, darling.” Rarity looked in one of the shop’s full-length mirrors and tidied up her mane and tail with her magic. I waited until she decided she looked presentable again and walked next to me.

“I have the perfect place in mind. Shall we?” I offered her an arm. No, it’s not a leg when you do this!

She took it in hers and replied, “We shall!”

We had a marvelous luncheon, even if Rarity fell asleep after dessert. I tipped the staff well to ensure we weren’t disturbed. I passed the time chatting with some of the patrons who were delighted to be able to bend the ear of one of the princesses’ advisors. I was going nowhere until my friend had her richly deserved nap.

I was able to be at the boutique the next morning when Rarity opened the store. Sassy sulked in the background while Rarity personally welcomed the waiting mares to the closing down sale. She was almost run over by the stampede, and I could tell she was a little surprised. I listened and watched as the customers circulated around the shop, but while there were several inquiries about the Princess Dress, every one of them was happy to consider one of the other wonderful designs on display. Now that the other dress was taken off the market, the customers didn’t have the option of the fad to follow, so they chose what actually suited them better. One by one, each mare admired her reflection while wearing a dress that she had fallen in love with. And with each sale, I saw Rarity light up with delight.

Rarity was positively giddy with glee when she saw how delighted the mares were with her dresses. I knew that feeling well. When you wear something that speaks to you and makes you feel wonderful, it stokes the fires of the creator, and right now, Rarity was near exploding with joy.

“Attention, everypony!” Rarity suddenly called out. “I would like to announce that Canterlot Carousel will not be closing after all.”

There were many cheers from the customers. A goth-looking pony queried whether the dresses were still on sale and Rarity reassured her that they were. Then Sassy came over and started to apologize. I hung around close enough to hear what they were saying, and it seemed that her shop manager had finally learned the Rules of Rarity. Unsurprisingly, she thought she had lost her job, but I knew my friend better than that. Rarity made it quite clear that she trusted Sassy to follow her philosophy from then on when Rarity returned to Ponyville.

With that cleared up, I joined Rarity. “Looks like everything has worked out for the best, Rares.”

“It would seem so. Thank you for helping me realize what I was doing to myself.” She turned to Sassy. “If you run into any unexpected problems, you can let my partner know if it’s truly urgent.”

Sassy blinked in surprise. “Your partner? Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wells! I had no idea.”

“It’s just Mark, please, and that’s why it’s called a silent partner. But Rarity and I have had a close relationship fashion-wise for about a year now.”

“Is that so? What do you do, Mark? Promoter? Distributor?”

“Model,” I replied with a wink.

Rarity and I shared a laugh as we left the bewildered unicorn to look after the shop. It was time for us to celebrate!

For the next few months, life in Equestria proceeded without any of the extremes that had dotted my existence since arriving in Equestria. Sure, there were a few highlights, especially when Twilight or one of the other Element Bearers went to check out a friendship problem, but overall, we had a relatively peaceful period. I took advantage of that to do as many romantic things for my fiancée as I could within the restrictions of the stupid secrecy. When Hearts and Hooves Day rolled around, I took Trixie to a theater restaurant followed by a moonlit walk through Canterlot Gardens. We didn’t stand out amongst the many other couples celebrating the day, and if anypony read more into it… well, rumors always abounded anyway.

When Pinkie organized a charity event featuring Countess Coloratura, I made sure to schedule a visit to Ponyville to see the concert, not to mention make a contribution. We were both surprised when the star led off the event with a beautiful song in a totally different style to her normal one, but she did do some of the classics later with her dance troupe. It was a roaring success despite Pinkie having some sort of hiccup with Coloratura’s manager.

Nightmare Night was especially fun for us. I pasted on an artificial unicorn horn and pulled off a number of magic tricks to the puzzlement of Twilight. In actuality, Trixie had been teaching me a lot of her stage magic and she was helping me from behind the scenes. A lot of ponies would have figured out what was happening sooner, but Twilight had a habit of taking things too much at face value. We kept her bamboozled for half the night!

Eventually, winter rolled around and it was Hearth’s Warming Eve for the second time since I’d been here. The first time had been subdued because I had not fully acclimated to being a denizen of this magical world as yet, although I did see the traditional play about the events that had inspired the celebration. However, I threw myself into the festivities with gusto this year. Twilight invited Trixie and me to spend the holidays with her, Thorax, and Spike. Despite the friction that existed between the two of them occasionally, my fiancée graciously accepted and we had a wonderful time.

“Weirdest thing happened during my lecture at Celestia’s school this morning,” Twilight said as she met us for lunch before she started the afternoon session of Friday’s Day Court.

“Oh? What happened?” I asked.

“I could swear that I saw Starlight Glimmer in the audience. When I looked again though, she was gone.”

I frowned. “We haven’t seen or heard from her in all this time. Do you suppose she’s up to something?”

“Trixie doesn’t know why you two are in any doubt. If it was Trixie in her position, she would have had her revenge by now. What’s more, Trixie knows how she thinks. She will want to rub your muzzle in it. She is going to make a big, dramatic entrance complete with over-the-top speeches.”

Unfortunately, that made a whole lot of sense to me, but until Starlight moved against us, it was difficult to decide what course of action to take.

Twilight said, “I’m probably her biggest target, but I’m sure Mark isn’t far behind. Perhaps all of us should stay together for the next few days. Trixie, you can bring some extra Royal Guards to my castle. I’ll increase the defenses there too. At worst, we will have run a training exercise, but if anything happens, we will have the other Element Bearers nearby to help.”

I looked over to my fiancée who was nodding thoughtfully. “Trixie agrees. She will also send out agents to try to spot your elusive enemy. They will be equipped with the rogue unicorn counter-measures developed by Twilight’s research teams. If she is finally showing her hoof, she may be easier to find.”

“Okay, it’s decided,” I said. “I’ll get the Captain of the Guard to strengthen security immediately, then tonight, straight after Twilight finishes her Day Court session, we’ll head off to Ponyville. I’ll arrange some sky chariots and an extra squad of Guards to accompany us.”

Twilight nodded in satisfaction. “If Starlight tries anything funny in Ponyville, she’s in for a big surprise!”

# # # # # # #

Chapter 37 - Time Trap

As soon as lunch was over, I made my way to the office of the Captain of the Royal Guards. Luck was with me and I found Polished Barding behind the desk. Because the unicorn regularly checked up on the status of the Palace Guards to keep them on their toes – or hooves in this case – it had been quite likely that I would’ve had to go looking for him. I knocked on his open door and he looked up from his paperwork.

“Grand Vizier – please come in.”

“Thank you, Captain.” I settled into one of the chairs.

Barding steepled his forelegs and rested his chin on his hooves. “As you never come just to chat, I gather something has come up?”

I nodded. “We may have a situation. Princess Twilight says that she spotted Starlight Glimmer this morning at her lecture at Celestia’s school.”

The stallion frowned. “How certain is Her Highness about that?”

“You know the Princess’ obsession for detail. If she said she saw Starlight, it’s almost a certainty, even if she doubts herself. That brings up a very important question.”

Barding nodded. “How did Starlight Glimmer manage to infiltrate a medium-security building without any Royal Guards identifying her despite the alert we have in place specifically for that mare?”

“Exactly,” I said. “And if Starlight could so easily get in there, what are the chances that she’s been able to get into the high-security areas of the castle?”

“If that is the case, why hasn’t she attacked the Princess or you by now?”

I shook my head. “Starlight is not the type of pony who kills her enemies; she wants to get revenge in a manner that will hurt them badly in other ways. We ruined her plans so she’ll try to do something of a similar nature. The trouble is guessing what that will be.”

“So, without further information to go on, all we can do is step up security.”

“For now, but this place may already be compromised. Princess Twilight and Princess Trixie have decided to go to Ponyville this afternoon after Day Court and stay in Twilight’s castle. Its smaller size will be more defensible, and we’ll be within convenient proximity to the Element Bearers if necessary. Since Twilight developed a counter-spell to Starlight’s equalization enchantment, they should not be hobbled by it again. And even if Twilight is unable to seek the other Bearers out, well, Harmony seems to have a use for me which is probably why I was able to substitute for the Element of Magic previously, so I can be a backup.”

“The Guard detail currently assigned to Princess Twilight Sparkle’s castle would be grossly insufficient for the task of protecting you all,” Barding pointed out.

“I agree. Therefore I want you to send as many Royal Guards as you see fit to do the job along with us when we depart. They will serve as security on the trip to Ponyville, and reinforce the existing arrangements. I’ll leave the exact details to you.”

“It will be done. We’ll be ready to depart when you are.”

“Thank you, Captain. I’ll let you get on with your work.” I got up and we shook hooves. Barding was already calling for his adjutant before I left his office. The Captain was a competent stallion and I was confident that his preparations would be excellent. The only nagging doubt was the question that Barding himself had asked – how had Starlight Glimmer not been spotted by anyone except Twilight? And was that exception deliberate?

As an extra precaution, I had taken my pegacorn form that morning and used the ley line running over the castle to charge myself up to about 90% of my capacity. If I hit 100%, I would involuntarily change into Marklestia, so I knew I needed to keep an eye on my fetlock band over the next few days. If the ponies attending that afternoon’s session of Day Court noticed the heightened security in the throne room, no one pointed it out. As soon as Court concluded, I hustled Twilight off to the waiting sky chariots where her baggage already was aboard. The ever-organized alicorn had, of course, pre-packed her bags for the trip home for the weekend, so it had been just a matter of picking them up from her room. I also arranged to have some food for her to consume along the way because she wouldn’t be stopping for dinner. Trixie and I had ours early, as well as our bodyguards. Captain Barding elected to personally guard Trixie while Crimson Boulder had been selected to mind Twilight due to his greater familiarity with Ponyville in general and the castle in particular. I gave Crimson a nod but otherwise said nothing. While I had patched up our friendship after Fluttershy’s tongue-lashing, things were not the same between us. Although I had forgiven him, the absolute trust that I’d had in him was irreparably broken, and Penny remained my personal bodyguard.

We took off from Canterlot Castle without incident, along with two squads of pegasi surrounding us. A contingent of unicorns and earth ponies had been dispatched earlier by train, but the faster pegasi would still beat them to Ponyville, so a few of them rode in sky chariots along with us.

What with Starlight being a unicorn, we really did not expect an attack along the way, but the Captain made no assumptions just because we were a mile off the ground. Nevertheless, the journey to Ponyville went without incident. We landed in front of the castle doors and disembarked. Half the Guards immediately peeled off to take up prearranged positions as we headed inside. The unicorns at the door scanned us before allowing us entry. We were halfway through the entry hallway when we heard shouts of alarm from outside. Our bodyguards immediately turned their attention behind us, wary of somepony following us inside who didn’t belong.

Penumbra said, “Keep going. It’ll be more secure deeper within the castle. The Royal Guards can watch the entrance.”

We hurried into the next room which contained the map table but no sooner had we entered than the doors slammed shut, separating us from the Guard contingent, leaving just the six of us in the chamber. I could hear somepony shouting something about the rooftop sentries, but whatever warning they were trying to give, they were too late. We were not alone.

From behind Twilight’s throne, a smugly grinning Starlight Glimmer appeared.

“Nice of you to—,” Starlight began.

Our three bodyguards didn’t wait to hear her monologue. “Get down!” yelled Polished Barding as he shoved Trixie bodily under the map table. Penumbra tried to do the same to me but I fell to my knees, keeping the top of my head high enough to keep an eye on Starlight. The mare snarled and her horn lit. Her aura briefly surrounded the three guardsponies but slid off as they moved.

Polished Barding galloped off to the left while Crimson Boulder and Penumbra sprinted right. Starlight was on the opposite side of the table so hopefully, she could not escape. As she charged her horn, Captain Barding threw a segmented strip at her that I recognized as a nullstone horn pacifier. Starlight erected a large spherical shield that burst like a soap bubble when the ring of stone touched it. The band uncurled and changed direction to head directly towards the mare’s horn.

Her eyes went wide and there was a crunching sound. Just before the nullstone band reached her, Spike’s crystal throne shot into the air, catching the strip and continuing through the ceiling.

“Now!” shouted Polished Barding. Twilight and the Guardspony fired blasts from their horns which ricocheted off of a new shield that Starlight threw around herself. One of the deflected bolts whizzed by my head and I flinched. I scrambled to put myself more directly behind Twilight and her shield. Then I saw two more bands fly in from the right, thrown by Crimson and Penumbra at the distracted unicorn.

Starlight glanced over just in time to see the bands reach her shield. With a pop, she teleported to a spot behind Crimson and Penumbra. I looked forward again and saw the bands had now changed course and were headed for the nearest ponies casting magic —namely Polished and Twilight. As I jumped onto the map table, I heard the sounds of horn blasts behind me as the spell casters resumed their duel. I threw out my forelegs and caught the nullstone strip heading for Twilight, pulling it into my chest. It writhed as it tried to wriggle out of my grasp, almost like a living snake. I lowered my head and whispered the word “verdant” to it. The band went limp and I wasted no time diving off of the table. As I landed, I saw Polished Barding directly in front of me. He lay prone on the floor with his eyes closed. Smoke rose from his horn, now encased in the other nullstone strip. Twilight shifted position slightly to get cover from one of the other thrones while continuously casting a hail of multicolor blasts towards Starlight.

I saw Starlight’s aura glow around the edges of Crimson’s armor as she backed away from the two guardsponies now charging towards her. She dived to the side to avoid a set of bolas thrown by Penumbra, apparently tipped off by the horn pacifier to not bother trying to deflect the weapon with her magic. When Crimson reached her shield and spun around to buck it, his armor split apart into two halves as the connecting straps gave way. With a telekinetic shove, Starlight flung him at Penumbra who was attempting a flanking maneuver. The earth pony’s body smashed the poor thestral into the crystal wall and she collapsed in a moaning heap. Crimson was made of sterner stuff though, and he sprang to his hooves. He yanked a spear free of Penumbra’s weapons pack and charged again. It was no good though. As our fight with Starlight back at her village had shown, she was not only a powerful magic user but a versatile one. Crimson slammed into a new shield which wrapped itself around him and lifted him off the ground. It then burst in a flash of light and a crackle of power, and when the smoke cleared, the earth pony lay motionless on the floor, his deep red coat singed all over.

I was now much closer to Twilight than Starlight Glimmer so I couldn’t throw the nullstone band, and I was also wary of that trick backfiring on us again. Panting visibly, Starlight glanced once at me then stared at Twilight whose continuous barrage had the effect of collapsing the unicorn’s shield to the point where it barely covered her form. As I hurried to Twilight’s side, I saw Trixie crawl out from under the table to cast what looked like a sleep spell at Starlight. Unfortunately, it bounced off of Starlight’s shield and hit my fiancée, causing her to collapse in a heap. I desperately wanted to go to my lover’s side, but I steeled myself to only look at my enemy.

Not lessening her assault, Twilight sternly demanded, “Why are you here, Starlight?”

The unicorn laughed and harshly replied, “I’d tell you, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise.” She then brought out a parchment scroll which floated in a separate shield bubble in front of her. A beam from her horn illuminated the scroll, causing it to rise into the air. A burst of power shot out from the scroll and activated the holographic map on the table’s surface.

Rings of light-purple magic floated upwards from the edges of the table, forming a ghostly translucent bubble about ten feet in the air above us, runes drifting over its surface. The bottom of the bubble was cut off, showing what was undoubtedly a portal of some sort. White arc-shaped sections on the sphere and around the perimeter of the opening moved periodically clockwise or counterclockwise and the sound of watch movements filled the air.

I said softly to Twilight, “scroll” then moved several steps away from her. Starlight grinned triumphantly as she levitated herself and the scroll towards the portal. She was only seconds away from escaping. It was now or never.

“Starlight!” I yelled to get her attention.

She sneered, staring at me with disdain. I rose up, placing a hoof on the map table as I transformed into my long-maned Marklestia form. I put as much magic as I could into one of the showy stage magic spells Trixie had taught me. Rings of light danced around my horn and arcs of harmless static shot everywhere. I’m sure my eyes were glowing white with the amount of magic I was holding. I raised my wings and screamed at the top of my lungs in Celestia’s voice. “DIE!”

Starlight’s confident look shattered into one of pure terror as she screamed. Just before my wide beam of light glanced harmlessly off of her shield, the bubble encasing the scroll winked out. The parchment was caught immediately by the aura of Twilight’s magic and it zoomed to the alicorn’s side. I saw a very confused unicorn reach the portal, get stretched like taffy, then disappear into its maw.

“Got it!” yelled Twilight as she came to the edge of the table just to my right. Her triumphant smile disappeared as the world abruptly plunged into darkness.

“What happened?” I yelped.

“I… I don’t know,” Twilight replied.

“Trixie – are you okay?”

There was no reply, but as my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I saw why. She was no longer on the floor by the table. In fact, the crystal floor was gone, replaced with dead grass and dirt.

“Umm, Mark – are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

I looked around at the landscape illuminated by the dim light of the moon high in the sky. “If you mean that the castle has disappeared, then yes, I am.”

“But the map table is still here,” she said, looking down to the faintly glowing hologram at our hooves. “So, where’s my castle gone?”

“I’ve got a better question – where has my fiancée and everypony else gone?”

Not even our vanquished bodyguards were to be found. All I could see were the buildings of Ponyville silhouetted in the background. There wasn’t even a cheerful street lamp to dispel the darkness.

“It must be something that Starlight has done. I think only the two of us are here because you were touching the map table and my magic was holding the scroll when Starlight entered the portal, so we were caught up in the sorcery’s effects. I’ll examine the scroll to learn what spell she used.” Twilight’s horn tip lit up and she started reading the parchment.

“While you’re doing that, I’m going to scout around to see if I can pick up any clues as to what’s happened.” I shivered a bit as I put the nullstone band away into my saddlebags. Why was it so cold? And wasn’t sunset/moonrise not scheduled for half an hour yet? I spread my wings and took off, a light spell like Twilight’s on my horn. I figured that it was safer to retain my Marklestia form for the moment so that I had access to some basic magic, not to mention superior flight skills. If our Royal Guard contingent spotted me like this, I’d deal with it later. The situation was potentially too dire to worry about petty secrets.

As I flew over the town though, I didn’t spot a single being, pony or otherwise. No light leaked through closed curtains and no sound came from the pub. I suddenly realized just how deathly quiet it was. Even in the middle of the night, there was always the sound of nocturnal animals and birds or even just insects. Nothing but the sigh of wind through the bare branches of the trees.

Bare branches? It wasn’t Fall yet. I flew down to look closer and alighted by a stand of trees. They were all devoid of any leaves and looked quite dead, although it was hard to see clearly. My attention was so focused on the trees that I stumbled over something on the ground. Lowering my horn to see what it was, I squealed in shock as I recognized it.

A skeleton. Specifically, a pony skeleton. It was just lying there in the open, untouched until I disturbed it. I hastily backed away and turned towards nearby dwellings. I went to the nearest house and rapped on the door, startled when it creaked open due to the impact of my hoof. It was totally dark inside, but my horn illuminated it as I cautiously poked my head in the doorway.

“Hello? Anypony… here…?” I stopped and stared. There were ponies there – past tense. More decaying forms were huddled together like a family, perhaps waiting for their deaths. I backed out of the room and galloped over to the next house. Not bothering to knock, I opened the unlocked door and looked inside. There weren’t any bodies here, but the place looked as if it had been hastily stripped of essentials and then abandoned. House after house I checked out, some containing corpses. Then I came to the Carousel Boutique. It looked just as vacant and run down as the rest of the town. I hesitated, afraid of what I might find there. Then I chickened out and flew back to where Twilight’s castle used to be.

I found the alicorn frowning heavily as she stared at the scroll. The map of Equestria on its surface was glowing much more brightly now. Twilight looked up as I alighted and said, “Did you find anything?”

I shuddered. “Everything is decaying and everypony is dead or missing. Ponyville is a ghost town. Have you figured out what happened as yet?”

“I’m afraid I have, or at least part of it.” She held up the scroll. “This contains Star Swirl the Bearded’s time-travel spell, only it has been modified in some way that I have yet to fully decipher to interact with the magic of the map table. It also has some other side functions that Starlight added. She’s a formidable sorceress in so many ways.”

I gulped. “Time travel? Are you saying that Starlight has gone back in time and changed history to this?” I waved a hoof in the direction of the dead village.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Why would she want to do this to Ponyville though?”

“I have no idea, but I’m afraid that it isn’t just Ponyville that has been affected. Meddling with time could have far-reaching consequences.”

“Then why is the map table still here if nothing else is?”

“The table is connected to the Tree of Harmony and its enormous magic must sustain and anchor it somehow. The Tree must sense that we need it.”

“Can we do anything about this situation?”

A determined smile grew on Twilight’s face. “Yes! Thank Celestia, you made sure to get this scroll because I can use it to reactivate the spell and we can chase after Starlight Glimmer.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s fix this mess!”

Twilight nodded and lit up her horn. Just as Starlight had done, she triggered the spell and the time portal formed overhead once more. As we were directly under it this time, we felt ourselves drawn up into it. Then it was like we were stretched to infinity, passing through a tunnel streaked with light and images. Abruptly, we burst into daylight and we found ourselves falling through the air. We both spread our wings and glided down to the surface of a cloud with structures on it.

I blinked in surprise as I recognized where we were. “Cloudsdale? We’ve moved through space as well as time?”

“So it seems. Perhaps due to the link to the map table?”

“Watch out!” shouted a pegasus filly as she streaked by us in a flash of color.

I stared in shock. “Rainbow Dash?”

Twilight observed what was happening all around them as she tucked the scroll into her saddlebags. “I think I know when we are. Rainbow has described it often enough. This is the day when she did her very first sonic rainboom.”

“The one that was responsible for you and your friends getting their cutie marks?”

“Yes, that one. But if Rainbow doesn’t do her rainboom…”

A flash of magic enveloped us and we found ourselves trapped in a crystal block, unable to move a muscle. A smugly grinning Starlight Glimmer emerged from a cloud and levitated over to us. “If Rainbow Dash doesn’t do her sonic rainboom, no cutie marks, and no meddling alicorns!” She hovered in front of us as our crystal prison slowly sunk into the cloud. She looked at me and sneered. “Speaking of which, you’re no alicorn. That spell you hit me with wouldn’t have harmed a foal. But you made me drop the spell, so I figured you would try to come after me and stop my plans.”

We couldn’t answer, but that didn’t stop her from ranting.

“That’s all you do, isn’t it? Going around and meddling in other ponies’ affairs. I had built a perfect village with equality for everypony in it, but you had to go and ruin it! You turned my ponies against me and drove me out!”

‘Seems you’re forgetting how you stole our cutie marks and kept “your” citizens in line through propaganda and intimidation,’ I thought.

“So, now I’m turning the tables on you and spoiling your futures. No more so-called Princess of Friendship, and no more loud-mouthed know-it-all stallions to spread dissension and question my authority.”

As the crystal block slid down nearly out of sight, Starlight laughed nastily. “Goodbye, meddlers!”

Then our prison slipped free of the cloud and began hurtling toward the ground far below. I was beginning to think that this was one crash that I was not going to recover from when I saw a glow out of the corner of my eye. The crystal suddenly shattered and we were free once more.

“Come on!” shouted Twilight as she headed back up again. “We have to stop Starlight before it’s too late!”

As I was still in Celestial form, I rapidly overtook Twilight. I didn’t wait for her though because she was right – we had to stop that crazy unicorn because the fool didn’t realize what the full consequences of her actions would be. I crested the cloud to see that the race between Rainbow Dash and the smart-mouthed colts was already underway. I looked around frantically for Starlight Glimmer but failed to spot her. As Twilight finally joined me, I saw Rainbow start the power dive that I knew was the precursor of her performing her first sonic rainboom. Then, from the concealment of a cloud bank, a beam of magic shot out to engulf the filly and bring her to a halt. Starlight emerged from the cloud, smiling smugly. “You’re too late,” she gloated.

I felt as if the whole world shuddered slightly, and the temporal portal opened. It pulled Twilight and myself inexorably into its maw, and we plunged through time again. We spilled out onto the map table, once more lit only by the night sky, although it was much brighter this time.

I scrambled up onto my hooves and said, “We have to go back and try again!”

Twilight shook her head. “The map table needs to recharge. Do you remember how dim the table was when we first arrived in the changed future? It was recharging during your scouting mission and needs to do so again. It’s depleted now, so we’re going to have to bide our time.”

“Shit!” I cursed, ignoring Twilight’s disapproving glare. Looking around, my eyes were drawn to the source of our illumination and I gasped. The sky was alive! Stars danced in patterns unseen in my entire life and meteors occasionally punctuated the display. Colorful nebulae pulsed and stretched from one horizon to the other like auroras. The full moon was the Queen of the Skies and the other heavenly bodies paid homage to her. Despite all this, the satellite somehow felt disapproving and oppressive compared to the one I knew. Tearing my eyes away, I saw that the landscape was grimly familiar. “So, why is this future so dead?”

“My educated guess has to do with our friends. If our lives were changed as foals, we may never have met and teamed up to fight Nightmare Moon. Her stated intention was to make night last forever. Well, vegetation can’t survive without sunlight, and animals, including ponies, can’t live without the food produced by the plants. Eventually, everything starves. This whole world is dying, Mark.”

That was a mighty kick in the gut. Equestria was the epitome of life and growth, and to see it like this was heart-wrenching. “Surely Starlight saw what went wrong? What happened to her? Is she still in the past?”

“Probably. She isn’t linked to the map table the way we are because of the Elements. She doesn’t have to come back to the present to re-start her cult of equalization. By the time she finds out what a mistake she’s made, it will be too late. Not even she can beat Nightmare Moon by herself. The evidence is all around us.”

That’s when I noticed something new, aside from the night sky. An overturned wagon lay a dozen hoofsteps away. “That wasn’t there before.”

Twilight looked where I was staring and her face became grim. “I can’t say I’m surprised. One of the reasons time-travel is banned by Royal Decree is what’s called the ‘Parasprite Effect.’ Even the tiniest alteration in the past can start an avalanche of changes that reach into the future, getting larger and more severe the further you go. Discord and I had a long discussion on the topic.”

I brightened. “Discord! He’s probably still in the Canterlot Castle gardens. Could we free him? If there is one creature that might be able to follow us through the portal and help us, it would be him.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mark. This timestream’s Discord would be completely unreformed. Plus, he was freed from his stone prison by chaotic events happening around his statue. This reality is nothing but order.”

I sighed. “How long until the table recharges and we can try again?”

“I won’t be sure until it does. If you want an educated guess, though, I’d say about twenty minutes.”

I sighed. “I don’t suppose it really matters. We’ll just have to go back a little earlier than last time and try to take Starlight by surprise.”

“I doubt we can do that,” Twilight replied with a frown. “If I’m interpreting these spell modifications correctly, Starlight will also be drawn back in time to the same moment. She’ll remember what happened in the last iteration and know to expect us. On the other hoof, she’ll have to stop Rainbow Dash anew every time she gets sent back. We just have to prevent her from doing that and bring her back to the present so that history can resume its correct course.”

“It’s stopping her that’s the real problem, isn’t it? I can’t believe that she managed to defeat all our bodyguards and hold you off too. She’s even more powerful than we thought if she’s a match for an alicorn.”

Twilight shook her head. “She’s an extraordinarily powerful unicorn, but she still can’t do earth pony or pegasus magic. She wouldn’t have an alicorn’s stamina either. However, she obviously has a special talent for spells which is why she can match me in a mage fight. And I admit that she’s a lot more ruthless than I am. I tend to hold back whereas she didn’t in the slightest.”

“You’re going to have to toughen up, Twi. We’re fighting for the survival of all of Equestria and I’m certainly no match for Starlight. I can outfly her, but she’d just laugh off my unicorn magic.” I paused as I remembered something. With a slight smile, I added, “Although I might have a surprise for her if I get the chance.”

“Mark – you said the town was completely lifeless, didn’t you?” Twilight was staring off into the distance behind me.

“Yes, I did. Why?”

“Then what are those lights?” She pointed with her hoof.

I looked in that direction and immediately spotted what she meant. “Stay here – I’m going to scout around a bit.”

“Be careful!”

I took off and flew as silently as I could. My white coat was very conspicuous in the moonlight but I wasn’t about to sacrifice my alter-form’s superior abilities. I re-surveyed the town as I swept over the roofs, and I realized that there weren’t any dead trees anymore. There were no trees at all, nor shrubs or garden beds. The houses were in good repair. The abandoned feeling was gone, but the unseasonal cold persisted.

I spotted more light sources than just the couple we had seen from the map table. Every one of them was emanating from behind poorly closed curtains – no outdoor lighting whatsoever. I landed next to a house and cautiously peered through the window. Through the narrow slit, I could see a mare whom I recognized as Minuette. She seemed to be talking to someone, but I couldn’t see who. However, that meant that there were at least two living ponies here where none had been before. I flitted to each light I saw and peered within – sometimes catching a glimpse of a pony but often not. I could hear the muffled sounds of them talking but I could not make out any of the words.

I took to the skies once more and broadened my survey. That’s when I spotted the orchard on the outskirts of town. Sweet Apple Acres was still there! I hastened over and landed beside the first of the fruit trees. The leaves glistened in the moonlight and fruit hung heavy on the branches. I lit up my horn with a light spell and discovered that the foliage was all silver instead of green. The apples were a dull gray color that reminded me of something Big Mac had told me once but I couldn’t recall just what. Were the trees photosynthesizing by the light of the moon alone?

I eventually tore myself away from the mystery and flew back to Twilight. “There are several ponies living there now, Twi. I don’t get it – this seems to be the same as it was before, but life still survives.”

“As I said before, the tiniest change can affect the future. Perhaps Nightmare Moon used her power in some way to sustain life. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be anypony to worship her.”

A thunderbolt suddenly illuminated the immediate area, and the sound nearly made me jump out of my skin.

“Most perceptive of thee, intruder! Who art thou, and how didst thou free my sister?”

Twilight and I stared aghast at the black alicorn with bat wings and nebulous mane and tail. Her slit eyes and fanged scowl made the mane-hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Nightmare Moon’s horn glowed with pent-up power, ready to use at a whim.

“Oh, buck,” I whispered through a suddenly dry throat.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Starlight has sprung her trap to get her vengeance, but how will Mark's presence affect the outcome? Stay tuned for some surprises!

Excellent art by Mix-up.

Please consider helping finance more art by giving us a tip on Ko-fi!

Chapter 38 - Impasse

Even with an alicorn on my side, I didn’t think it would be enough to survive an encounter with Nightmare Moon for long. When she raised her shield, I thought our chances got even lower. Fighting was not an option, and from what I had heard about her, she was unlikely to be reasoned with if I showed my true self. One alternative was left – take advantage of her confusing me with Celestia to buy time.

“You’ve changed, Moony,” I said.

Nightmare Moon frowned. “How, pray tell?”

“You didn’t use to care about the common pony. You would have just let them all starve to death.”

She smirked. “Ah. Is that what thou dost think?”

I gave her a haunted stare and shook my head. “That is what I know.”

She stopped smiling. “Thou dost know nothing, sister! Thou never did!”

Nightmare Moon’s horn glowed brighter, doubtless preparing a spell to disable or kill us both. I thought about how it took a few seconds to activate the scroll and float up to the portal. We would need a distraction.

I gaped as I sidestepped closer to the map table. “Is that... it is!”

Nightmare Moon furrowed her brow. “Doth our countenance—”

I pointed a forehoof to where I was staring – a spot above and behind her. “It’s the Goodrich Blimp!”

When Nightmare Moon turned to look, Twilight triggered the spell and threw up a shield covering us and the table. The dark alicorn whipped around and saw Twilight and I drifting towards the portal. She fired a blast from her horn that Twilight’s shield effortlessly deflected.

Before the dark alicorn could voice her rage, I yelled down to her, “Silly mare! Goodrich doesn’t have a blimp!”

Back in Cloudsdale again, Twilight tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged. “Hey, whatever works. Let’s find Starlight.”

Twilight’s response was to throw up her shield, blocking a magic blast. “Found her,” she replied smugly.

We hurtled toward the source of the magic attack but Starlight was already on the move. A dogfight started up between us with Twilight and Starlight exchanging fire while I took the opportunity to dive-bomb her whenever she left an opening, easily dodging her counterattacks. While the unicorn was managing to hold up against us, the stalemate couldn’t last. She didn’t have alicorn stamina, so levitating and exchanging magic blasts would deplete her long before we tired. I was beginning to scent victory when I noticed something wrong. We had an audience!

All the foals had settled down on a convenient cloud to watch the fight, including the filly who was supposed to be racing her heart out. “Twilight! Rainbow Dash isn’t doing her rainboom!” Said filly dropped her bag of popcorn and switched her wide-eyed stare between the two of us.

Starlight started laughing as the familiar feel of the world lurching shook us and the time portal opened to draw us in once more.

As before, we were dumped out onto the map table, but this time a lowering sun bathed it in light. Still no castle, so history had not been restored, but what alternate future had we arrived in this time? Nightmare Moon obviously was not in control, so what had changed?

Our arrival had attracted some attention. Several ponies started trotting over to investigate. I hastily shifted back to my normal stallion form, hoping that I was too far away to identify. Helpfully, I had fallen off the table on the side farthest from the town, concealing much of me. The first ponies to reach us only had eyes for Twilight though.

The purple alicorn shifted uncomfortably under their awed gaze and I wondered what the heck was going on. Just then, four fillies ran up, three of them very familiar. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had a new member, and it was my turn to gape at the black-coated filly with a dark purple mane and tail.

“What’s happened to Twilight?” Apple Bloom asked Scootaloo.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing, Nyx?” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

The alicorn filly’s mouth hung open as her slit-pupiled teal eyes stared at Twilight in wonder. “Mom! You’re an alicorn now too!” She rushed up to embrace a very confused Twilight. I noticed that she had a cutie mark – a dark blue shield with a light blue crescent moon.

“Mom?” she repeated as Twilight hesitantly returned the hug. She looked desperately at me for answers, but I had none. How could I explain a foal version of Nightmare Moon being the daughter of Twilight Sparkle?

A crowd of townsponies developed around us, all of them curious about Twilight’s ascension. I was more concerned about what other surprises this timeline had for us. The lack of a crystal castle was a clear enough indication that something was still very wrong, but it was hard to believe considering the normalcy of the scene otherwise. We would have to go back and try again, but a lot could happen in the twenty or so minutes needed for the table to recharge. It took less than two.

“Get away from my daughter, imposter!”

An angry and wingless version of Twilight Sparkle pushed her way through the crowd, her horn lit and ready to use.

Nyx looked around in confusion. “Mom?”

“Get over here, Nyx!” unicorn Twilight commanded.

Nyx stared up at my Twilight who said, “It’s alright. Go!”

As the filly joined her actual mother, that Twilight said, “Not even a changeling would be stupid enough to imitate me with wings. Who and what are you?”

“I am exactly who I seem to be, but I’m not from this timeline,” alicorn Twilight replied. “A fanatical unicorn mare named Starlight Glimmer modified Star Swirl the Bearded’s time travel spell to change history. Mark Wells and I have been trying to stop her.”

The other Twilight looked at me for the first time, then apparently dismissed me as being unimportant. It seemed that my first meeting with Twilight in this timeline went almost as badly as the one in mine, and I resisted the temptation to change into Marklestia just to give her a shock.

“Do you have that spell to prove your words?”

My Twilight levitated the scroll from her saddlebag and passed it to her counterpart who unfurled it and read its contents. Nodding occasionally, she eventually rolled it up and gave it back.

“You’re telling the truth. I have seldom seen such a complex spell, but it seems to do what you said it does. The question now is what to do about it.”

Nyx said, “Does that mean that she’s really another you, Mom?”

Unicorn Twilight nodded. “Yes, darling, but one who has never known you, I wager. I’m very curious as to how I became an alicorn in your timeline though.”

Alicorn Twilight replied, “I’ll tell you all about it if you tell me how you defeated Nightmare Moon.”

Nyx’s mother blinked in confusion. “How I defeated her? No, that was Sunset Shimmer and her friends, the Element Bearers.”

I spoke up. “Do you know a pegasus named Rainbow Dash?”

“The lazy weather mare? I don’t know her personally.”

“Believe it or not, she’s the key to the change in history.”

The unicorn gave me a flat disbelieving look.

I sighed. “Look – we can’t go back to fix history for a while yet, so why don’t we exchange knowledge. It could be useful in our fight with Starlight.”

Unicorn Twilight said, “If I’m right, if you reset history, Nyx will not exist. Correct?”

I exchanged a nervous glance with my Twilight. We both realized at that moment that we were coming between a mother and her child. I prevaricated. “Nyx has not shown up in our timeline yet.” I was bargaining on the fact that this filly could not possibly be Twilight’s natural foal due to insufficient time passing between the Nightmare Moon incident and the present. There had to be another cause, one that had yet to occur in our timeline.

Twilight stared at us silently for an eternity while holding her daughter in a protective hug. Eventually, she sighed and said, “Let’s go somewhere private to talk. I’ll tell you how Nyx came to be my daughter so that if the same circumstances come about in your timeline, you will be able to avoid the mistakes I made. In return, you will explain why your timeline is better for Equestria than the current one and why I should not try to stop you.”

I exchanged glances with my Twilight and we nodded. It was a reasonable compromise. The only alternative was to start a fight that would be nasty for all involved, regardless of who won. “We agree,” I replied.

Nyx helped her mother serve up refreshments for us in the Golden Oak Library. This world’s Twilight was the town’s librarian, unsurprisingly, but that was about all she was. She had attended Celestia’s school but was never her most important student. That role was fulfilled by Sunset Shimmer whose story went a lot differently from the one I’d met. That had probably blinded Celestia to Twilight’s potential, so the filly hadn’t gotten the support and encouragement that she otherwise would have. That didn’t mean that she was any less smart though. She had come to Ponyville to fill in for the retiring librarian and solve a problem with the Everfree Forest, but she ended up staying as she fell in love with the town and its citizens. Unfortunately, her magical strength had made her a target for the Children of Nightmare cult. Led by a unicorn named Spell Nexus, they were trying to reincarnate Nightmare Moon for whatever insane reasons that fanatics use to convince themselves. Instead, unbeknownst to them, they created a filly version who remembered nothing about being that villain. While Twilight had been fearful of the filly at first, she eventually decided to adopt her and raise her as a daughter, giving her the name Nyx, a character from a book that Twilight liked.

After some dastardly manipulation of Celestia by Spell Nexus, the Headmaster of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, Nyx was forcibly transformed into Nightmare Moon who set about establishing her rule of Equestria and banished Celestia and Luna. Equestria was in the thrall of night for a fortnight before Nightmare Moon relented. It had taken the love and friendship of her mother and the Cutie Mark Crusaders along with Nightmare Moon’s self-doubts and previously unknown feelings of empathy to bring about the fall of the cult and Nightmare’s rejection of their plans for her. Celestia and Luna were released and Nightmare Moon was subjected to their judgement. After some passionate support by those who loved Nyx, Luna decreed that she was not to blame for the cult’s actions. Luna then removed all the magic and memories that the Spell Nexus had imbued Nyx with, returning her to her innocent filly state. Now, she was growing up as a normal alicorn filly, although not without dealing with some ponies who hated and resented her for what the Nightmare had done.

From what I had seen so far, and hearing how the CMC had taken to her, Nyx was indeed a perfectly nice filly who loved her mother as much as Twilight loved her. It occurred to me that this Twilight had managed to have a daughter before her brother back in our world. The difference was that Twilight had an alicorn child, while Cadance and Shining expected either a unicorn or pegasus. I wondered what they would think about this when we got the chance to tell them. If we got the chance to tell them. We still had to convince this Twilight that our history was better than this alternate one. Frankly, if my Twilight hadn’t ascended, I don’t think we would have stood much chance of succeeding.

Unicorn Twilight was fascinated by alicorn Twilight’s synopsis of how her life had taken a different course since the test for Celestia’s school. The friends that she had made and the challenges that she had met until eventually ascending to alicorn status made that Twilight feel regret for a life not lived to her full potential. But she still held that our timeline was not inherently superior to hers. I argued that our Twilight and her friends had successfully defeated Tirek, Chrysalis, and even reformed Discord. This reality’s Twilight related how the same had happened here, though with more direct involvement from the Royal Sisters. Belatedly, I regretted passing on that bit of information because it weighed in favor of keeping things as they were. The news that caused the strongest reaction was not what I would have expected.

“Wait! Your Cadance is pregnant!?”

I blinked. “Yes. Is that a surprise?”

This timeline’s Twilight sighed. “Not long after Shiny and Cadance started ruling the Crystal Empire, the windigoes attacked. Sunset Shimmer and the other Element Bearers went north to help defeat them, but Cadance was gravely injured in the battle. She can’t have foals now.”

The silence hung in the air for several seconds after that. Nyx nuzzled her mother while the unicorn absently stroked her mane with a hoof. My Twilight and I shared a sympathetic glance. Not knowing what else to do, we continued to talk about the recent developments in our dimension.

Soon, I finished covering the important parts of our history, leaving out my transformations which I didn’t think were relevant. Sadly, unicorn Twilight concluded that she had to oppose our efforts to change history once more.

My Twilight nodded in understanding. “I know exactly how you feel. It’s how I feel about my friends and my special somepony, none of whom know this version of me in this timeline. That is why I can’t let you stop me.”

I had never encountered this kind of situation before. A year spent as an advisor to the Royal Court did not prepare me to deal with a situation where both sides were in the right and equally deserving of resolution in their favor. That left just one distasteful alternative – we had to follow our course in spite of what would inevitably be vehement opposition. Frankly, though, my Twilight was a highly trained alicorn while this timeline’s was a far less experienced unicorn. The mare didn’t stand much of a chance of stopping the two of us and might get hurt trying. The fact that she would cease to exist once we succeeded did not make it any more right to either of us.

“Can we sleep on this?” I asked. When both Twilights looked at me questioningly, I added, “It doesn’t make a scrap of difference if we go back in time now or tomorrow, does it?”

My Twilight shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. It’s just hard to sit here doing nothing.”

“Then perhaps we’ll come up with a solution once we’ve rested and had more time to think about this.”

Both of the purple mares looked relieved to put off the inevitable for a while.

“You can use my guest room,” the unicorn said before hesitating. “Umm… do you mind sharing?”

Mischievously, I replied, “We’ve slept together before.”

My Twilight rolled her eyes which did not go unnoticed by the other.

“I’m sensing that there’s more to that than you’re telling, but as long as you’re okay with it, the room’s yours. Nyx, dear, will you show our guests to their room? I’m going to start dinner.”

Nyx practically danced on her hooves. “Okay, Mom! C’mon, Princess!”

I wasn’t sure if Nyx fully understood the implications because she was still so upbeat. I had a hard time visualizing relegating the likeable filly to an unrealized possibility. There had to be a solution to this awful situation.

The room had a bed large enough for at least three average ponies, which was good because I would be taking up two places. I did not expect Twilight to share her bed with a stallion, even one who was a trusted friend. Maybe especially not a close friend. It was too easy to want to find comfort with each other under these trying circumstances.

I was woken by the sound of a cheerful filly’s voice.

“Morning! Mom says that breakfast will be ready in ten… GASP! Oh, wow!” There was a clatter of little hooves and a receding voice shouting, “Mom! Princess Celestia is in the guest room!”

Oops. I didn’t count on Nyx barging in without regard to our privacy. I hadn’t planned to show my pegacorn form, but it was too late to hide that now. I got out of bed as Twilight groaned at being forced to leave Slumberland. I was in my preferred short mane form but I turned sideways to the door to show my cutie mark to our host when she burst into the room moments later.

“Omigosh! Princess! What are you doing… I mean, welcome to my home! I suppose you’ve come to investigate this alicorn that looks like me—”

“Calm down, Twilight! I’m not Celestia – I’m Mark Wells. See my cutie mark? I’m a shape-changer and this is my alter form. Long story!”

“She’s telling the truth,” my Twilight said blearily while scratching at her belly fur.

I shifted back to my stallion form. “And not a changeling either.”

The unicorn stared at me for a long moment before groaning. “You can tell me over breakfast,” she said as she turned away to head back to the kitchen, followed by her daughter.

“Want to use the bathroom first, Twi?” I asked when we were alone once more.

“You go. I’m still waking up.”

That was my Twilight – definitely not a morning person.

After quickly freshening up, I threatened to dump a bowl of cold water on the alicorn if she didn’t get out of bed. She said something rude but complied. She knew I wasn’t bluffing.

We made it to the breakfast table relatively on time. It was laden with bowls of oatmeal, hard boiled eggs, toast and jams, and various fruits. Our host had really laid on a feast. I told the story about how I came to be a pegacorn, with occasional curious questions from Nyx. She asked me to change again and I obliged, giving her the full-maned version. I gave her a motherly look and asked in Celestia’s sweetest tones, “It’s so cool, right?” Okay, Celestia wouldn’t ever say that, but I’m not her.

Nyx squeeed and gave me a hug. I giggled and hugged her back before resuming my stallion form.

When breakfast was finished, our host looked at the dirty crockery and utensils sadly. “I don’t suppose there’s any point in cleaning up. It’ll all be gone soon anyway.”

“Does that mean that you have decided not to oppose us?” my Twilight asked.

“Not exactly. I first had to face the reality that I could not stop you without trying to incapacitate you, and I would never do that. I spent all night trying to work out a solution to our dilemma, and I believe I have one.”

“Oh? Let’s hear it,” I said.

“I don’t care what happens to me – if everything works out, I’ll be you anyway,” she said to her counterpart. “It’s Nyx who matters above all.”

We nodded in agreement and waited for more.

“What I propose is mind magic,” Nyx’s mom said. “I will give you memories of my entire experience with Nyx so that you will know and understand everything you need to be her mother. Since we’re essentially the same person, it shouldn’t be difficult to do this.”

The alicorn looked at the little filly who was listening keenly. “How will Nyx feel about that?”

“I’ve already talked to her about my plans. She understands… or at least as much as a filly her age can do so. It only remains for you to agree to it.”

My Twilight smiled sadly. “You already know the answer to that.”

“Then, there’s no sense in putting this off any longer.” The unicorn moved in front of her alicorn counterpart. “Touch your horn to mine and we can begin.”

I stood back from the two and Nyx leaned up against my foreleg, wanting reassurance. I wing-hugged her as we watched the glow of magic build on their horns.

Whatever they were doing seemed to be proceeding uneventfully when my Twilight’s eyes flew open.

“Wait! That’s not—”

She suddenly froze and I was filled with dread. Had this timeline’s Twilight deceived us after all? If so, I didn’t think I could do anything about it now. My magic lessons had been punctuated with stern warnings about disrupting complex spells. The consequences ranged from uncomfortable to dire. I had no choice but to trust in Twilight’s base nature whatever its iteration.

I watched helplessly, but then I blinked as I saw the unicorn fading away. Within seconds of it beginning, she was gone and just one Twilight remained. She gasped, staring at nothing in particular, her lips moving silently as if talking to somepony we could not see.

“Twi? Are you alright?”

After a very long moment, she turned to face me, her eyes haunted. “She tricked me. She didn’t just give me her memories – she merged herself totally with me.”

“You mean there are two of you in your head?” I asked.

“Something like that. I just have an extra set of memories that diverge from when I joined Celestia’s school. I remember everything!” Tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I remember how badly I needed to prove myself after failing to hatch the dragon egg but was still admitted to the school. I remember how obsessed I was about becoming Celestia’s special student, only to learn that Celestia had traveled to another dimension to convince Sunset Shimmer to return. I remember how I ignored the other students to study instead and ended up alone. I remember accepting a job here in Ponyville and staying because my skills were appreciated, but the loneliness was awful. Then I found Nyx and everything changed. I remember the terrible things that happened but my faith in Nyx never wavered. I remember that she’s my beloved daughter and I’m not lonely anymore.”

Nyx stepped out from under my wing and said, “Are you okay, Princess?”

Twilight looked at her with tear-stained cheeks and gave her a trembling smile and held out her forehooves. “Mommy needs a hug.”

Nyx didn't hesitate. She flew into the embrace and hugged the stuffing out of Twilight. I didn't intrude, but I had to smile. Maybe this timeline’s Twilight had pulled a fast one on us, but I think it was going to work out.

When the two finally drew apart, Twilight said to Nyx, “You know, your mommy is a princess, so that means you’re one now too.”

Nyx’s eyes went wide. “Oh, wow! I can’t wait to tell the other Crusaders!”

Twilight gave her a serious look. “You understand what I told you about going to another timeline with me? The Crusaders there have never met you, but I’m sure they’ll love having you join them. Especially now that Thorax has stopped becoming a little colt to play with them.”

“Who’s Thorax, Mom?”

Twilight fondly smiled. “Someone who I think you’re really going to like. In fact, how would you like to have a daddy as well as a mommy?”

Nyx looked as if all her birthdays had come at once. “Really?! That’s super awesome, Mom!” She hugged Twilight again and then said, “I gotta tell the others!” She dashed out of the room, her hooves clattering down the passage at a gallop.

I chuckled. “That was so adorable.” I turned to look at Twilight. “So – how are you really, Twi?”

She gave me a crooked smile. “Still sorting out memories, but now that I’m not so overwhelmed, I can tell the new memories from the old much better. Not that I want to ignore some of them. I’m truly merged with my other self, and my feelings for Nyx are genuine. I would have been happy to become Nyx’s mom, but now I really am.”

“Then congratulations on gaining an instant daughter. I think I’m going to like having her around.” I smirked. “But what’s this about giving her a father?”

Twilight blushed. “Well… you see…”

I held up a hoof. “Don’t bother. Worst kept secret. Just make sure that Thorax knows to turn up for the wedding.”

Twilight’s cheek fur turned a deeper shade of red. I’ll never get over how that’s possible, but it looked adorable on her.

The alicorn giggled. “As long as you help get him to the ceremony. He’s a little shy.”

“Oh? I thought I could be Best Mare,” I replied, switching to Celestial form.

Twilight laughed and replied, “You’re going to have a lot of competition for that position.”

“Bring 'em on!” I declared with a grin.

We laughed together. It was good to see her do so again. Eventually, our current situation reasserted itself and I returned to stallion form.

“How are we going to deal with bringing Nyx along?” I asked.

“I already figured that out. I mean, the other me did. Oh, this is going to be so weird for a while.”

“Take it easy, Sparkles. You don’t have to deal with it all at once. Don’t bother explaining which of you knew or did what. Just accept that it’s all you now and get on with the job. So – what did you work out?”

“I prepared a set of saddlebags and applied a Bag of Holding spell to each side of it. Nyx can travel in one and she’ll be safely in stasis while inside.”

“And the other side?”

“Lots of personal stuff that I lost when Tirek blew up my old home. I never thought I’d be able to get them back after they were destroyed.”

I chuckled. “Go nuts, then. I’m pretty sure that you’ll have plenty of time, if I know the Crusaders well. It’s not as if it’ll make any difference how long we spend here. We can chase after Starlight again anytime.”

Twilight paused as she was sorting through some books on the shelves to find those that she hadn’t been able to replace. “That’s not strictly true.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“Because the more time we spend in alternate futures, the firmer the new timelines become. Eventually, the spell won’t be able to overcome the time inertia anymore. That’s why Star Swirl’s original spell could only be used once.”

“How long have we got then?” I asked with trepidation.

“I estimate several days, but we’ve used a large portion of one already. Starlight is going to be tricky to stop, and if we need to rest between attempts, we’re going to use up that time.”

I sighed with relief. “I thought that you were going to say we had only an hour or so.”

She poked her tongue out at me. “That’s for making me feel embarrassed.”

“Sorry, not sorry.”

She smirked. “I know.”

I had a thought. “Is there anything from this dimension we can use to subdue Starlight?”

Twilight looked down and furrowed her brow for several seconds. “No. In fact, searching my new memories, they haven’t even developed the countermeasures that we tried to use on Starlight.” She looked up. “You still have the nullstone horn pacifier?”

I nodded.

“We’ll have to settle for that and our wits. We’ll keep forcing her to do something different than the previous times she was able to stop the rainboom. Eventually, she’ll slip up.”

I bit my lip. “Twilight – do you think we should ask this dimension’s Celestia and Luna to come with us? Equestria would have the Royal Sisters again and Starlight Glimmer wouldn’t stand a chance.”

The alicorn’s face turned serious. “If someone asked you to be complicit with the destruction of your timeline, including all the ponies you’ve sworn to protect, what would your answer be?”

I winced. “Scratch that idea, and if we ever run across them in an alternate future, I’ll keep my big mouth shut.”

“Probably a good idea,” Twilight replied, going back to pulling out books.

I shrugged and wandered off. It was a nice day and I thought I’d take the opportunity to enjoy a bit of it while I could.

Nyx insisted on a lengthy farewell to Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom. They all seemed to believe that Nyx was going away with her mother to a new home. I don’t think even the alicorn filly understood that when we left, this timeline would become unrealized and simply cease to exist. And while we hoped that the next time we came back to the present, it would be to find the castle restored, even those realities would never be our home if we failed to stop Starlight.

It was fascinating to watch Nyx entering a saddlebag that was obviously too small for her, and yet showed no signs of its burden when she was completely within. My friend reassured me that the stasis effect was completely harmless to living creatures, feeling like holding your breath for a few seconds as you entered and left the bag.

It was amazing magic, and I wondered how many tons of goods were being carried effortlessly due to that one spell. Belatedly, I understood that this was how Twilight had moved the library at the Castle of Two Sisters to her own which she confirmed. NASA would kill for a working dimensionally transcendental container. They would be able to carry as much fuel and supplies as they wished, thereby truly opening up space exploration.

Twilight levitated the saddlebags onto my back. When I raised my eyebrow questioningly, she said, “I applied the same Bag of Holding spell to my saddlebags, but Starlight will concentrate her attacks on me while you’re better at dodging. I want Nyx to be put at the least possible risk.”

I nodded. That was the drawback of having to take the filly with us – there was no totally safe place to leave her while we went after Starlight. I transferred everything from my original bags to the side that did not contain the filly. I then ensured the flexible cinch that went around my flanks held the saddlebags securely in both my pegasus and larger alicorn forms. It was time to stop procrastinating. We flew back to the map table and I felt very awkward waving back to the few ponies who greeted us along the way. Twilight pulled out the scroll and activated the spell. Once again, we dived into the past to try to save history.

This time, when we dropped out of the portal, Twilight put up her shield as soon as we hit the ground. Meanwhile, I had been looking in the general direction Starlight’s spell blast had come from in the previous iteration. There were a dozen or so clouds in that area, but only one changed shape suddenly, abruptly pinching in at one corner.

I smirked and thought to myself, “Gotcha!” Next time around would be different.

Twilight and I spent several minutes in a fruitless hunt for the unicorn, only to find her talking with a much younger Fluttershy and two colts. As we watched, the three youngsters hugged and flapped off together while Starlight gave us a triumphant grin. “Twilight, what just happened?”

“Rainbow Dash challenged Hoops and Dumb-bell to the race after she saw them bullying Fluttershy. I think Starlight just talked them into getting along instead of fighting—” She stiffened. “Don’t say it.”

I couldn’t help myself. “Undone by friendship.”

The familiar time portal opening behind us removed all doubt. Again, Twilight and I were helplessly pulled out of the past.

This time, when we flared our wings and settled directly on the map table, the countryside was as different as it could be. The wan daylight showed Friendship Castle was still gone and only a few free-standing walls were left of Ponyville. The moon was also in the sky, low on the opposite horizon, but while that would not have been odd on Earth, it was very strange for Equestria. Pools of green and yellow chemicals disfigured the landscape in what I could only assume to be bomb craters. The ground had been churned into an irregular mess of clods, stones, and boulders. What were undoubtedly bones and limbs of ponies were scattered around the landscape like macabre decorations. The worst part, however, was the stench. The nearby lake was no longer being filled by a clear waterfall. Instead, the black, viscous fluid inside smelled like a combination of burned rubber and petroleum.

“Twilight – shield,” I said.

She did so, covering the entire map table as well. “What in… I don’t even think Tartarus smells this bad. And there’s death everywhere! What happened here?”

I took a deep breath. “Do you remember that human war I told you about? The one where thousands died every day?” I spotted something familiar and levitated it to just outside Twilight's shield. It was a simple metal tube with a rectangular magazine connected to a small spherical chamber on one end. The tube had split and the weapon abandoned. The peeled-back sections showed somepony had rifled the inside of the barrel. I tossed the weapon away from the table. “This battlefield looks like the very worst of it. The only thing missing is acres of mud, but with weather control, I bet the combatants had to deal with that, too.”

I pointed to a foreleg nearby that didn’t show any signs of decay. “This battle was fairly recent. I suggest we get out of here as soon as possible. We might be in no-pony’s-land right now, or we might be behind the front lines, but I don’t want to wait for us to be discovered.” I looked over to Twilight then followed her gaze. The moon was moving higher in the sky. Some force pulled it upwards a bit, then it would stop, only to resume its journey a short time later. The sun kept to the same spot near the horizon, but it grew progressively larger and brighter.

Twilight cleared her throat. “Or the sudden appearance of a powerful magical artifact could have tipped off somepony already.”

I glanced at my fetlock band: about eighty percent. I latched onto the nearest ley line, which so far had not been different anywhere or anywhen.

Turning around in a full circle, I saw the Everfree Forest to the south, unyielding and unchanged. To the east, Canterlot looked the same, except for a swarm of black dots headed straight for us. The blackness dissipated as it moved to the right, revealing to me what I was seeing. My guess was that either missiles or planes were heading our way. As Twilight and I waited, the shapes became more distinct. Individual ponies with jetpacks of some sort, each trailing a plume of black smoke. Just then, numerous portals opened in the field to our west.

The seed of an idea sprouted in my head. I whispered to Twilight, “Just lie down and act disinterested. Let me do all the talking and play along.”

I raised my head high and marched to the west side of the map table, being careful not to block Twilight’s view of the largest portal at the center of the group. Ponies marched lockstep out of each portal, taking up positions with no regards to the cover available. Almost all were earth ponies—no, make that crystal ponies—and every one wore an identical metal mask with glowing green slits where the eyes would be. Each carried two weapons: a spear or sword for close combat and an unbroken rifle of the same design as the one I had seen earlier. They stood neither at attention nor at rest. Somehow, I imagined they would continue standing where they were until either they received a new order or died of exposure and starvation. The largest portal swept backward quickly, revealing a smiling unicorn stallion the likes of which I had never seen before. He wore a full set of plate mail that ended at the top of his neck, over which rested a red cape trimmed in white fur with black spots. The stallion’s mane and tail seemed to absorb all light—only the edges were visible. The unicorn’s most distinctive feature was his curving horn that shifted from gray to bright red along its length. The combination made his identity unmistakable: Sombra. Behind him spun the Crystal Heart, though this version was riddled with red streaks and gave off a pulsing glow of the same color.

His haughty smile faltered when he saw my alicorn form. Before he had the chance to speak, I took the initiative. “Who are you and why do you bother the Time Lord Doctor Sparkle during her contemplations?”

Slowly, he turned his attention away from ‘Celestia’ and looked at the purple alicorn by my side. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an unconcerned Twilight float a blank scroll and a ballpoint pen from her saddlebags. She placed the parchment on the table surface and began writing. The entire time, she had not spared the unicorn more than a single bored glance. Those acting lessons with Trixie were now paying off in spades.

Sombra frowned, apparently evaluating his options. I began to turn away from him dismissively when he spoke. “I am Sombra, King of Equestria. I require the artifact you are protecting. Give it to me now.”

Twilight flicked an ear as if shooing away a bothersome fly. I didn’t do quite so well and managed only an unconvincing laugh. “Oh, please. Can we refrain from speaking nothing but falsehoods? You are obviously not the only ruler who claims this land. You do not ‘require this artifact’ because you don’t know what it is or the first thing about it, and a being of my Mistress’ power has no reason to accede to your demands.”

He glared at me. “I do not negotiate with sycophants. I will have what I want. Leave or die.”

I leaned forward, matching his stare. I decided to take a risk by revealing something that I hoped would give him pause. “Must we? Must my Mistress obliterate this timeline entirely? I suppose, after a fashion, that would convince you.”

“Ah wouldn’t tempt her, if’n Ah was you, ya damn bastard.”

The familiar drawl drew Twilight’s and my attention to the south. A thin and scarred Applejack was set on the ground by the changeling carrying her. In quick succession, numerous other ponies were dropped off to immediately take what little cover was available. Pegasi and changelings flew together in formation over their troops. They likewise carried a longer version of the metal-tube firearm and a ragged assortment of hoof-to-hoof combat weapons.

What was obviously Chrysalis alighted next to Applejack. She smiled at Sombra. “I would believe the mare if I were you, pretender. She has quite the talent for detecting falsehoods. Don’t go doing anything to get yourself and everypony else snuffed out of existence, will you?”

When Chrysalis smiled, I noticed a number of odd details. She was wearing Celestia’s crown, of all things, and her irises were round like pony’s instead of the slits of a cat or dragon. She had no holes in her legs, mane, or tail, and she was perhaps twice Applejack’s height.

A twisting pink beam connected her to a couple of figures floating a distance behind her. I almost jumped when I recognized them as Cadance and Shining Armor wrapped in an embrace. Their eyes glowed green and their expressions were blank. The dozen or so unicorns surrounding them scanned the area for threats, their horns already lit and their eyes free of any hypnotizing magic. I recognized two mares from the Guild of Mages and a stallion from Princess Trixie’s private guard.

Sombra sneered. “There is nopony here that will listen to your falsehoods, insect. You only know how to achieve power through the lies and treachery that is endemic to your loathsome species.”

“I will rule this land. My children will flourish here after you are dead and buried. All my children, including the ponies I have accepted into my hive after they pledged their fealty. All it will take is killing the only creature in the Crystal Empire that is still capable of independent thought.”

“We are insulted to be forgotten so.”

The voice carried over to us from the east. I turned that way to see Nightmare Moon, now wearing considerably more armor than when I saw her in a previous timeline. To her right stood a unicorn Twilight Sparkle who glared at my Twilight. For her part, the alicorn smirked, beat her wings once playfully, then resumed work on whatever she was writing. Goodness, she was doing a fantastic job.

Behind the dark alicorn, her troops arrived in waves, the unicorns and earth ponies unbuckling from their jetpacks and immediately digging into the ground to create defensible positions. They carried firearms with two, shorter barrels. Behind the first line of troops, what must be this universe’s equivalent of multi-barreled Gatling guns were set on the ground by teams of pegasi.

Nightmare Moon raised her voice to be heard over the cacophony behind her. “We believe the artifice to be dispelled. None can possess yon artifact by sheer might ere the others arrive.” This universe’s Twilight moved closer and whispered something into the alicorn’s ear. Nightmare Moon straightened her neck and smiled in a way that was not at all pleasant. “However, we are most curious why thou dost take such particular forms.”

I scoffed and started slowly walking around the table. “Ah, indeed.” Step. “We had forgotten…” Step. Straight, pink-haired Celestia. “…how much importance…” Step. Pegasus stallion form. “… you ponies place…” Step. Long-maned Celestia again. “… in appearance. Time Lords and their servants do not have such restrictions. My apologies.” Nightmare Moon looked at Chrysalis and I followed the glance. I saw from the changeling queen’s expression that she was just as surprised. I hoped that my Twilight would give me a signal when the map table was charged, and soon. I was starting to run out of tricks.

Sombra spoke from behind me. “I will give a place by my side as co-ruler of Equestria for the Time Lord’s support in destroying these two fools.”

Chrysalis laughed. “Lies. You have nothing but lies to offer to anypony. Still, I will pay a million bits of gold for your support, Time Lord.”

The dark alicorn lit her horn. “The dead cannot make promises, for they have no way to keep them. I will turn over every treasure in Canterlot.”

Sombra said, “Your threats are as meaningless as your promises. The sun moves in the sky at my will and mine alone. Without me, all life on this planet will end. I will add the treasures of Canterlot to my offer.”

“And I will likewise add a hundred of my finest drone warriors and infiltrators to what has been committed so far.”

The king laughed. “And if you help me capture these two mares, I will break their minds with my magic so they become your eager playthings for all time. Truly, this was a pleasure I had hoped to keep for myself, but I am feeling especially generous today.”

Nightmare Moon snarled. “Untruths heaped on more untruths. I am willing to swear my offer and true allegiance to the Great One.” All ponies and many of the changelings present shook for a moment, then crossed their hearts in a familiar gesture. Sombra’s soldiers all moved their right forehoof in exact synchronization to their leader’s.

Nightmare Moon continued. “Would you do the same, deceiver?”

Sombra frowned but did not answer.

I spoke up. “Oh, you mean Pinkie Pie?”

This time, everypony gasped. Those digging trenches stopped their movements and a few pegasi fell out of the sky. I was looking at Nightmare Moon at that moment and saw her ears flatten back onto her head. Next to her, this universe’s Twilight stammered out, “The Great One’s pony name is never spoken, lest she hears!”

A cool breeze blew across the battlefield. Applejack took off her Stetson, revealing a metal helmet underneath, “Did the two of y’all also leave the mirror pool by goin’ sideways?”

I shook my head and waved a forehoof in what I hoped was an unconcerned manner. “The Mistress and I are in the good graces of the Pink One.” Much murmuring all around us now.

My Twilight stood up and all talking ceased. I dutifully moved to her side, keeping my head low in obvious supplication. I almost laughed when I saw Twilight had been working on building a crossword puzzle this whole time. She lowered her lips to my left ear. “I need all the powerful spellcasters distracted for the three seconds it takes for the portal to draw us in.”

I prostrated myself fully with a flare of my wings. Twilight smiled and resumed her prone position, this time working on a vertical set of letters. After enough time to demonstrate my respect for my ‘Mistress’, not to mention thinking up how to play this, I rose to my hooves.

“All these competing offers to my Mistress – slaves, warriors, gold, treasures. And everypony promising some of what the others are offering. It’s just so confusing. Come back to my Mistress when there are fewer of you to bargain,” I said disdainfully.

The silence lasted about one second. Then the noise came from everywhere – screams, explosions, gunfire, cries, magical blasts, everything. I threw up my own shield just outside of Twilight’s and my head immediately started to ache from the repeated blows. Twilight and I were not the targets, but the area around the map table was in the way of the fighting armies. The portal appeared above us and my shield winked out the moment the bubble touched it. I reformed my shield around myself just in time to see Sombra glaring at me, the tip of his red horn glowing with incredible power. His shot went wide when a teleporting Nightmare Moon rammed her horn into the left side of his neck. The last thing that I saw a moment later was a green blast from his right which twisted his head nearly around backward.

When we re-appeared in Cloudsdale, both Twilight and I took a few moments to compose ourselves behind our shields.

“That was too close,” I said.

“I agree. If we enter a future where there is no breathable atmosphere or is overrun with dragons, we won’t be so fortunate. We need to find Starlight as quickly as possible.”

“That reminds me. I saw exactly where she appears in the past. Don’t look directly at it, but do you see the big cloud bank to your right? And the small cloud just below it? The very right edge is where Starlight started out in the previous iteration.”

Twilight smiled. “OK. That will be helpful. You keep an eye on Rainbow Dash and I’ll look for Starlight.”

Several minutes later, I had seen nothing but occasional glimpses of Twilight zipping through the clouds. The two colts and Rainbow were lined up at the starting line and Fluttershy was getting ready to wave the flag to start the race. A loud boom followed by pelting hail caused the racers and spectators to scatter. Looking up, I saw three pegasi foals jumping up and down on a dark cloud above the starting line, laughing at the panic they caused.

Twilight zoomed back to my side. “I never saw her. Starlight must have found those three and convinced them to disrupt the race.”

The sound of the time portal opening behind me confirmed what I already knew.

“Shit!”

Although I was in my pegacorn form, my bad luck chose to intervene, and I found myself being spat out of the time portal at an extremely awkward angle. Before I had time to correct my fall, my head encountered the map table. I don’t think Twilight fared much better as I heard a thump and a cry from my left.

Now, it’s not as if I haven’t collided with walls or fountains or the ground itself faster and harder than that, but this time I had a horn to take some of the impact, and that left me dizzy with a huge headache. I groaned in pain, my eyes scrunched tight as I tried to calm my throbbing brain.

“Ooh! That looked like it smarted,” came a mare’s voice that sounded vaguely familiar but definitely wasn’t Twilight’s. “I thought you’d given up one-point landings, Captain Klutz?”

My eyes shot open. Only one person ever called me that, but it wasn’t the dark orange-coated mare with a tri-tone blue mane in front of me. “Wha–? Who are you?”

The mare looked at me quizzically. “What do you mean? Come on, Mark – you’ve hit your head harder than that before, so stop screwing around.”

“Why’d you call me Captain Klutz?”

She stared at me as if I’d gone crazy, and then a worried frown replaced her expression. “I’ve been calling you that since we were kids. Don’t you remember? It’s me – Phil.”

“Phil? Phillip Martine?” She nodded. “But… you’re a mare!”

“So are you, at the moment,” Phil pointed out. “Besides, it’d be hard to be your wife if I was a stallion now, wouldn’t it?” she asked with a smirk.

My… wife? That was one too many shocks for me, and my world went black.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Oops. How is Mark going to explain this one to Trixie later? :rainbowlaugh:

Nyx and Twilight picture by Vasillium.

Fillip Martin picture by Foxenawolf.

Nyx is the creation of Pen Stroke.

If you've enjoyed this story so far, please consider leaving a tip on Ko-fi.

Chapter 39 - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

When I came back to consciousness, I found myself floating over the ground, carried in the magic field of the unicorn beside me – the mare who claimed to be both my former best friend and now wife. “What’s going on?” I asked, wincing as the effort made my head throb.

“Taking you to the hospital to get you checked out,” Phil replied. “You seem to be concussed. I warned you that working with Princess Twilight was hazardous, but noooooo, you still had to go check out that weird table that appeared.”

Well, she nagged like a wife at least. “Put me down and tell me what happened.”

She frowned but put me back on my hooves. I took the opportunity to switch back to stallion form and swayed momentarily. Phil steadied my wobbles and then embraced me.

“I thought that I had lost you when you were sucked up into that magic bubble thing.”

“It’s a time portal, and things have changed more than you think.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean that you had better come with me to discuss this with Twilight… Where is she, by the way?”

“Twilight Sparkle refused assistance and headed for her home. She told me to bring you but I headed for the hospital instead.”

Because the map table was outside sans Castle of Friendship, I started heading for the Golden Oaks Library where I undoubtedly would find the alicorn. If what Phil had said was true, there would not be a doppelganger there this time as we had replaced our counterparts. “I’m skipping the doc. I’ve got a bit of a headache still, but it was caused by bashing my horn hard, and changing back to being a pegasus has cleared that up a lot.”

Phil came trotting up beside me looking relieved. “Good. So, you’re no longer confused?”

I sighed. “I wish I could tell you that things are back to normal, but they’re not. And you’re not going to like it. I already don’t.” How was I going to explain to this version of my best friend that I was not her husband? In every other respect, I was the person she had married. I was curious as hell to find out how this had come about, and why she was in Equestria at all.

“Sounds like a lot happened in the brief time you were gone.”

“You have no idea!”

As expected, I found Twilight in her basement laboratory. She was scrawling magic equations on her blackboards that were far too complex for a tyro like me to follow.

“What are you up to, Twi?” I asked as soon as I could get her attention.

“Trying to determine why our transit through the time vortex was so rough. I felt forces at work that weren’t present in all our previous trips.”

“What other previous trips?” Phil asked suspiciously.

Twilight frowned. “I saw you at the map table taking care of Mark. Who are you and why are you in my laboratory?”

The mare rolled her eyes and said, “Not you too!”

I said, “Twilight, this is Phil – Phillip Martine.”

“That’s Fillip Martin now, as you well know,” my supposed wife said, punching me on the shoulder.

Twilight’s eyes opened wide and she gaped. “Your best friend from Earth?”

“Yes, apparently. Don’t ask me how.”

Phil looked back and forth between us as if we had both gone crazy. “Will somepony tell me what’s going on here?”

I said, “Keep on with whatever you’re doing, Sparkles. I’ll handle this.” I turned back to my ‘wife’. “You had better sit down for this one, Phil. It’s a bit of a doozy.”

“More so than all the other craziness we’ve been through already?” the mare asked even as she complied.

“Yeah, I’m afraid so. I know you well enough that I’m sure that you’re familiar with the concepts of parallel worlds and alternate timelines.”

Phil nodded, a hint of dread on her features.

I gestured vaguely in the direction of the map table. “That magic bubble you saw was a time portal created by a powerful unicorn mare designed to screw with my and Twilight’s history. We’ve been chasing Starlight Glimmer into the past to stop her from doing this and failed so far. Each time that we’ve returned to the present, something different has confronted us from dead worlds to wars to one where Twilight has an alicorn daughter. This time, we’ve come back to a world where the best friend that I thought I would never see again not only is here too but is now female and married to me. Phil – I hate to say this, but I am not the Mark Wells that you saw leave with Twilight, or this alicorn the same one that left with your Mark for that matter.”

Phil gaped at me, tears starting to well in her eyes as she comprehended what I was telling her. “But, if you’re not my Mark… where is he?”

I glanced at Twilight but she only shrugged helplessly. I bit my lip and considered my response. “To be totally honest, I don’t know for sure. But, considering what we’ve been going through, I’m guessing that he’ll return when we set history right again.”

“Or he’ll never come back at all!” she cried.

I winced. That was what I had been thinking but hadn’t dared to say.

Suddenly Phil was up in my face. “How do I know that my Mark is not the original and you’re the alternate?! Or you are my Mark but with changed memories due to the meddling with time?”

Those were great questions. It was a pity that I didn’t have equally great answers. Hell – I couldn’t even prove the latter to myself. “I’m sorry, Phil. I don’t know.”

Phil burst into tears and leaned her head against my chest. Without even thinking about it, I brought up a forehoof to stroke her mane and neck reassuringly.

“I want my husband back, Mark. I want our future foal to have his father.”

I froze. “Say what?”

She looked up at me with cheeks sodden with tears. “I’m pregnant, Mark. I was saving that up as a surprise.”

My rear legs gave out and I sat down hard. While a different iteration of me had been the sire, the child was no less mine too. I looked up at Twilight, but she was just as shocked. I groaned and mumbled, “How on Earth did this happen?”

I hadn’t really expected an answer, but Phil heard and replied, “Because you fell into the portal, Captain Klutz.”

“And how does that explain you?” I retorted.

“I tried to catch you but instead I was pulled into the portal with you.”

“So, it didn’t happen when I was by myself?”

“Obviously not,” she replied with a little exasperation, wiping the wetness from her cheeks with a foreleg.

“And you ended up a mare? Or did you have an encounter with poison joke too?”

“No, I’ve always been a mare in Equestria.”

“How did you feel about that?” I asked, recalling my first experience with gender-swapping.

“I was fine with it.” When she noticed my skeptical expression, she added, “You know that I’ve always been bisexual.”

I blinked and stared at Twilight, searching for answers, but she looked just as surprised. No – my Phil had been cool with the idea but not inclined to it. So, the difference in universes could extend to a different version of mine as well. I turned back to Phil. “And how did we… y’know…?”

“Become mates? We were two strangers in a strange land and we supported each other as we found our hooves. One night, we both needed a little more comfort and biology happened. After we got over the awkwardness, we realized that we both felt strongly about each other and started getting serious about a relationship. After I nearly lost you when you fought Tirek, I proposed to you. It’s a good thing that the mares usually pop the question here because you might never have gotten around to it. You were definitely caught flat-footed. You still said yes though, and we finally got married.” She had started to look much more alive than before, but then she paused and her expression fell. “Because your job as Princess Twilight’s assistant gave us such security, I decided that it was time to start a family. But then… you went to investigate that weird table and… everything…” Phil sobbed, then turned and bolted up the stairs.

I stared helplessly after her. Despite the change of species and gender, she was still my best friend and I could think of nothing to do for her. We had known each other since childhood, but now I didn’t know the most intimate part of ‘our’ relationship. Even though it was this universe’s Mark Wells who actually was her mate, I felt a massive loss. I found myself beginning to despise this alternate future.

“Are you going to go after her?” Twilight asked.

“And do what?” I replied bitterly. “I’m not the Mark Wells she needs.”

“No, I suppose not, but she does raise some very perplexing questions. You originate from a different universe rather than just another timeline, so Fillip’s presence here indicates that there’s something wrong with my current theory on how Starlight’s spell is affecting reality.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been operating on the presumption that Starlight simply changes history to cause these different futures that we’ve experienced, but what if instead we have been shifted to a parallel reality rather than an alternative timeline? In this case, one where your friend Phil also stumbled into Equestria. Starlight’s spell might not be able to change history at all – I know how futile it was when I used Star Swirl’s original spell and actually ended up causing everything that I had intended to prevent. So, instead of having our present altered, we’ve jumped to the present time of a parallel universe. Back in our Equestria, the castle is still there and our friends are wondering where we are.”

“So you’re saying that Phil’s Mark has also been diverted to another timeline? Then there’s a possibility that he’ll come back?”

“If he and his Twilight Sparkle have figured out what’s going on, then yes.”

“What about the map table?”

Twilight shrugged. “As an educated guess, it’s a common anchor point for the timelines.”

“A guess? Can’t you do better than that?”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “What do you expect of me, Mark? This is all untrodden territory here with concepts barely touched upon by Star Swirl himself! Starlight had months to work on this spell and I’ve barely begun to unravel its equations and runes. I’m not sure if even she fully understood the consequences of this enchantment. Her formulas are brilliant but full of approximations, leaving open the possibility of unforeseen consequences.”

I groaned and shook my head. “Sorry, Sparkles – I should have known better. It’s just that I hate to see Phil like that, and she’s carrying our foal. Don’t tell me it’s the other Mark’s because we’re identical genetically, and I would be him if things turned out differently.”

Twilight put a reassuring hoof on my withers. “You don’t have to convince me, Mark. I’m now a mother to an alicorn foal because of all these events. I’m still wondering if I did the right thing.”

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. “I thought that you said that you were fine with that now?”

“That’s not the point, Mark. If we are in a parallel world rather than a changed one, then Nyx could have stayed with her Twilight and they would have continued their lives unaffected.”

“Then all those other futures were equally real?” I recalled the ghastly worlds we had escaped.

“The dying world and the war-ravaged Equestria could be just as real as ours and any others we may go to.”

I shuddered. “I hope you’re wrong, but if this is just a fragile timeline, then Phil would go poof when we leave. Could we bring her along like Nyx?”

Twilight sighed. “I’m afraid not. In fact, bringing Nyx is what caused all that turbulence in the time vortex.”

“Why? How could she affect it when she was safely stowed in the saddlebag?”

The alicorn waved at the equations she had written on the blackboards. It might as well have been in Sanskrit for all the good it did. I was barely in magic kindergarten while Twilight lived and breathed it. She wasn’t the Element of Magic for nothing.

Twilight said, “Now that I’ve looked more closely at the relevant equations, I’ve noticed something that I missed before. The spell specifically calls upon the matrices that are our arcane representations and Starlight’s. That’s why we remained exactly where and as we were after she changed the past – not because we were in contact with the map table or the spell scroll. It makes so much more sense now! She hates us and wanted us to suffer the consequences of her meddling with the past. But if changing history was all that happened, we would have been totally unaware of the change, thus spoiling her revenge.”

“What has that to do with Nyx though?”

“Simple – she’s not included in the spell, but we found a loophole in it by putting her in the saddlebag. However, that doesn’t completely eliminate arcano-temporal interference resulting in a destabilization of the time vortex. As a result, we will sometimes experience severe turbulence. Adding yet another pony would likely completely disrupt it and relegate us all to unrealized temporal anomalies!”

“What’s that in plain Equish?” I asked dizzily.

“We’d cease to exist!”

“Okay! Okay! I get it. So, bringing Phil back with us is a super bad idea.”

“And possibly pointless if his Mark Wells returns.”

“How sure are you of that?”

Twilight just waved at the equations again. Right – she had barely started to figure it out yet. And I still didn’t know what to do about Phil. It’s not as if she was the only one wanting her loved one back. I desperately wanted Phil back in my life too! I had a wild thought.

“Sparkles – what if I stayed while you went back? Would that reduce the turbulence?”

She looked at me sharply. “You want to replace this world’s Mark? What if my theory is wrong? What if I can’t go back without you?” She got right up into my face. “What about Trixie?”

My mouth opened but no words came out.

Twilight nodded. “I thought so.” She turned back to her equations and considered them for a long moment. Then she snorted and an eraser swiped through the chalk marks. “Enough of this. It’s time we got back to our task.”

“What about Nyx and the turbulence?”

“Maybe I could add Nyx’s matrix to the spell, but I don’t even have enough time to make a wild guess at balancing the thaumatic equations. We’re just going to have to risk it.”

I nodded. “Let’s go before I start thinking about this mess again.”

Twilight grabbed her saddlebags and headed out of the laboratory. “I couldn’t agree more.”

We headed back to where the map table still stood incongruously amidst the grassy field. Just before we got there though, I heard a familiar voice calling out to us.

“Wait! Don’t go without me!”

We looked back to see Fillip galloping in our direction. Within moments, she skidded to a halt beside us.

She glared at me defiantly. “You’re not leaving me again, Mark!”

I groaned and face-hoofed. “Phil – I… I can’t. I want to bring you, but I just can’t.”

“Says who? We made a promise to each other. For better or for worse, remember?”

It was clear that Phil could not or would not see me as being a different pony from her Mark Wells. I could hardly blame the mare because I felt much the same way about her. I wanted to be there for her. But another pony had already claimed my heart and I could not betray her. My duty was clear even if it caused me pain. I firmed my resolve and looked Fillip Martin in the eyes.

“In my reality, I am Sir Mark Wells, Knight of the Realm of Equestria, soon to be Prince and husband of Her Royal Highness Beatrix Lulamoon. My own personal preferences do not matter in this situation, and unfortunately, neither do yours, Phil. I am obligated to act in the best interest of my ponies... the ones in my reality.” I bowed my head then gave Phil a softer look. “I'm sorry, Phil, but I have to go back and fix this.”

Phil stared at me for a moment, then visibly slumped, her whole body shaking.

I moved closer to catch her eye. “Have faith in your mate. He and your Twilight Sparkle will not rest until they return to you. Trust me – I know.”

After several seconds, my best friend of forever looked at me blankly, then sadly smiled. “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

I quietly replied, “Or the one.”

Phil rushed up to embrace me and I returned it without hesitation. I felt her tears on my coat and I knew I was crying just as hard. When she pulled back, both of us had the same impulsive thought and we kissed passionately. But the kiss was not warm or joyful. Both of us knew it was a kiss goodbye.

I switched to my Marklestia form and flew to stand next to Twilight as she levitated out Starlight's scroll and positioned it above the map table. She noticed my shaking forehooves. “Are you going to be okay, Mark?”

I ground my teeth and charged my horn. “I'm not going to lie to you, Twilight. I'm pretty pissed off right now.”

She nodded wordlessly, activated the spell, and we were drawn into the maelstrom once more.

This time when we reappeared, Twilight was immediately struck by a blast from our left. I dove to catch her and barely got my shield up in time to deflect a similar blast coming my way. I set Twilight on the roadway directly below us and my horn ached as my shield absorbed another hit. I saw a triumphant Starlight Glimmer floating closer to us.

“I’m done messing with the two of you.” She glanced up and I followed her gaze. Her magic had caught Star Swirl’s scroll when Twilight had dropped it. I gasped when it erupted in flames and disappeared in a flash of smoke and ash. She sneered at me. “Goodbye, Mark Wells.” Then her horn blasts resumed.

I realized how completely screwed we were. I couldn’t leave an unconscious Twilight unprotected while I flew to dodge Starlight’s blasts. My shield was strong, but Starlight’s unicorn magic was much more powerful than mine. Cracks were already appearing on my shield spell.

That left me only one option. I removed my fetlock band.

The band served two purposes. Besides telling me how much mana my cells were holding, the band also limited how fast I could release it. My horn had been forged by channeling through it in a matter of seconds the majority of the magic of Equestria that Tirek had spewed into me. During her testing, Twilight concluded that even alicorn horns could not channel the volume of magic at the speed mine could. The drawback was that even when my cells were charged to 100% capacity, my limited reserves would only last a few seconds. I was basically a one-shot wonder.

Shining Armor had taught me how to project my physical and magical protection shield around an object and use my unfettered magic flow to rapidly reduce its size. I had spent a long afternoon with Shining attempting to protect the chair I was trying to crush, then waiting the hour or so for me to recharge. His first three attempts had resulted in a smoldering ball of wood and some nasty headaches on his part. On his fourth attempt, a completely re-written spell full of runes of reinforcement, direct connections to a half dozen ley lines, and a feedback loop drawing strength directly from my shield held up for the full three seconds.

Of course, he wanted to test the spell around himself the next time, which I flat out refused. Even with Cadance and Twilight offering to augment his shielding for extra safety, I simply wouldn’t do it. Once I had cast the spell, it would take me a half second to stop if anything went wrong. Despite his confidence, it was just too dangerous. I simply couldn’t live with myself if anything had gone wrong.

I didn’t feel that way right now.

Everything started to happen as if in slow motion. I made a shield bubble about thirty feet wide that surrounded Starlight. The unicorn’s next blast bounced off of it and struck her, causing the mare to cry out. She threw up her own shield inside mine but it broke apart into sheets of energy as mine shrunk.

She looked at me in panic as my shield bubble continued its inexorable collapse. I’m pretty sure I was screaming. Her horn glowed brighter than I had ever seen it before, casting energy in all directions, but the bubble didn’t even slow down its contraction. Just when my shield started to contort her body, there was a flash and she was gone. In her place was a marble-sized golden sphere. When I felt the last of my magic drain from my body, the marble exploded with a bang as the liquefied air inside expanded.

“That was… that was...”

Panting, I turned to see the young Rainbow Dash hovering nearby, her eyes practically glowing in excitement.

“…awesome?” I suggested.

“Even more than that. It was amazing!”

I sighed. I knew what was coming next. I grabbed Twilight around her barrel with my forelegs as I heard the familiar sound behind me.

My wings didn’t break our fall very well because I was virtually devoid of magic. I did manage to protect Twilight from the worst of it, though I twisted a rear ankle.

I looked around and was not pleased with what I saw. The Castle of Friendship was here, but much of it had been destroyed, perhaps in some cataclysmic battle. Through a large hole in the wall of the map room, I could see Ponyville, but from the level of disrepair, it seemed to be deserted. It was daytime, and the sky was overcast. That’s when I noticed it was raining.

As carefully as I could, I dragged Twilight under the cover of the map table. My attempts to rouse her were unsuccessful.

I pulled Twilight closer to me, covering her with a wing to keep her warm. I took stock of the situation. We were in another reality that so far appeared to be devoid of pony life. I couldn’t wake up Twilight. We both needed medical attention. Star Swirl’s scroll was gone. And it was raining. Only one word could sum up how I felt.

“Fuck.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

To find out what happens next, please donate to my Ko-fi account. When the tips total over one million Equestrian Bits, I will post chapter 40. :raritywink:

Chapter 40 - Bad Dreams

After a few minutes, I decided the current situation was untenable. I had to do something … I had to move. Fixing in my mind an image of what I wanted, I reached into my right saddlebag. Feeling my set of Ever-Dry bands, I pulled them out and snapped them around the base of my wings. After a few seconds to think about it, I also retrieved my spare pair and snapped them around the base of Twilight’s wings. Lastly, I put my fetlock band into my saddlebag. I had scared Starlight badly, but she had gotten away. Until she was dealt with, I’d have to cope with nothing regulating my magic flow.

Leaving Twilight as protected from the rain as I could manage, I latched into the nearby ley line and searched the remains of the castle. I quickly discovered that my twisted ankle was not cooperating so I settled for a limping trot and lots of hovering. I found my room and retrieved a pillow and several wool blankets. I knew the blankets had a spell on them to prevent them from getting wet, so they should work fine. A quick check showed me that Thorax’s room was still next to mine but empty.

I put two blankets on the ground under the map table before levitating Twilight onto them. I gently laid her head on the pillow and covered her with three more blankets before turning to Ponyville.

From the air, everything appeared to be deserted. The plants looked fine if overgrown and I definitely saw a raccoon scurry behind a house. Mentally, I made a note to stop by Fluttershy’s if I had a chance. Some of the animals there might remember ponies fondly and be able to mime out what had happened.

I landed at the entrance to Ponyville Hospital and hopped through the broken doors at the entrance. I had been here once for a checkup a few days after my early attempts to fly, so I knew the general layout. The lobby was empty, as was the triage/examination room. Checking out all of the cabinets, I found a sealed first aid kit. Opening it, I smiled upon seeing everything I needed for self-treatment.

I swallowed a general-purpose pain killer tablet, sprayed my ankle with a numbing compound, then wrapped it with a self-adhesive tape for support. I’d try to keep my weight off of it, but worst case, I needed to move free of pain. Our luck had been especially bad in several of these realities and I had to assume the same might happen here. I closed the kit and put it in my right saddlebag.

I took a few minutes to explore the hospital. There were pony corpses in some of the rooms in various states of decay, either in the beds or next to them. There were none in the hallways or nurses’ stations. I left the hospital puzzled. Did the staff just abandon the hospital with all the patients inside?

Entering a house nearby, there were no ponies in the kitchen or living room. Instead, every bedroom had one or more dead ponies tangled in sheets near their beds. That’s when it hit me.

Flying back to the castle, I was glad to see that the rain had stopped, for now. While landing, I saw my friend was whimpering and struggling in her sleep. I dug out the first aid kit and found the smelling salts. Holding those under her nose had the desired effect and she struggled back to wakefulness.

“No. No. Look out… What? What?” Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up, her panic ebbing away as she slowly recognized me. “Mark? Is that you? I was having this terrible dream…”

I nodded, folding the top three blankets before shoving them into my saddlebag along with the first aid kit. Who knows when they might be useful again? “I believe it. Twilight, this is one of the bad realities. Everypony here died in their sleep, I think while experiencing nightmares.”

She let me help her out from under the table and struggled to her hooves. “Then we need to get out of here as soon as possible.” She checked the map table which was glowing steadily then turned back to me. “Are you ready?”

Sadly, I shook my head. “I was able to fight off Starlight, but she destroyed the scroll. We’re stuck here.”

Twilight blinked. “Didn’t I tell you that I made copies of the scroll? I made copies of the scroll.” She levitated two scrolls from her saddlebag. “I put another copy in your bag. Never hurts to have backups!”

I slumped and gave her “that look.” I frowned until she gave me a sheepish grin.

“Sorry. Forgot to tell you. Even if I hadn’t, I’ve memorized the spell now. I’d just have to write it out again on a blank scroll if needed.”

I sighed. “So the game plan for the next time around?”

“Starlight must have struck me the moment we appeared.” Twilight looked to me for confirmation which I gave with a nod.

“I don’t think she’s going to attack us directly anymore,” I said grimly.

She blinked. “And why is that?”

“I nearly killed her with my collapsing forcefield.”

Twilight gasped and looked to where my fetlock band normally rested. She looked me in the eyes, apparently evaluating me. After a pause, she said. “OK. We can talk about that later, but for now, we just need to get out of here. I don’t want to find out why these ponies died the way they did.”

I nodded and we moved on top of the map table. All but one of the scrolls returned to her saddlebags and her horn illuminated the lone remaining scroll which… did nothing. Frowning, Twilight tried again with the same result. I opened my mouth to say something, but Twilight held up a forehoof. She stared at the table, furrowing her brow for several seconds.

Raising her head, dozens of small white spheres appeared above us. They formed two rings about ten feet in the air, then one side pinched outwards, drawing all the spheres in that direction. They flowed away like water heading for a distant drain. Twilight said, “There is a very powerful source of magical interference nearby.” Her horn remained lit and she sent another ring of bubbles skywards. They sped off in the same direction even faster than the first ones. “And it is getting closer.”

I had only been here for perhaps forty minutes. I didn’t need my band to tell me I wasn’t fully charged. I moved up next to Twilight and held my shield spell at the ready. Looking at the destruction in that direction, I had an epiphany. “Twilight, your counterpart in this dimension fought it and lost, but she was able to hold it off for a while.”

Twilight looked critically at the damage around us. “Get your best beam spell ready. It looks like a wide-area magical blast was used here.”

I nodded but kept scanning the direction Twilight was pointing her horn. Occasionally, she would send up a single white sphere which would invariably head the same direction as the others.

I blinked…

…and was somewhere else. A family of earth ponies wailed piteously in front of me. Glancing around, I recognized the location as a grain silo. The door behind me let in bright sunlight and illuminated the light brown wheat which was dotted with sections the color of rust.

The sky blue stallion cried out, “Our grain! Our poor, precious grain!”

His mate was a dark brown mare with a red and pink mane and tail. She sobbed, “The mold has ruined it! It’s all gone!”

Their dark green foal yelled, “We’ll all starve! What will we eat?”

I frowned. “Well, you could try eating fish.”

They all stopped their hysterics and looked at me in obvious disappointment as if I was a stage actor who had flubbed my lines. Suddenly, I felt my awareness being pulled upwards. What appeared to be clouds of cotton rushed by me.

I blinked and was in the castle map room again. I heard mumbling to my right. Glancing at Twilight, I saw her horn was still lit but she was looking at the floor.

Needing to try something, I clonked her in the barrel with a hoof. She gasped and scowled at me. “Hey!”

“We don’t have to be asleep. It’s strong enough to make us hallucinate, and we can’t even see it yet. Pain can pull us out of the hallucination, though.”

She grimaced. “Understood. It will only get worse the closer it gets to us. We need something—”

A sound reverberated in my skull that was closest to a moan, though I was sure it didn’t get there through my ears. Both of us gaped at the strangest apparition I’d ever seen. It stepped into the area where the entry hallway had once been. The thing was three times the height of a pony and looked like a blue amoeba full of purple stars. The overall shape was definitely equine, including a unicorn’s horn. Its edges were bordered in a bright purple, almost like a see-through skin that rippled with a will of its own.

“Are you seeing this, Twilight?”

Not getting a response, I turned…

…to see the breakfast dining nook of my parents’ house. Daylight poured in past the yellow curtains I had always detested. It was definitely Sunday from the pancakes and syrup on the table, though I don’t remember them ever being a bright lime green in color. I was currently alone, though I heard someone coming down the stairs behind me. I didn’t have time for this.

“Of course you do.”

I glanced down to where the voice had come from. A large, blue-irised eye stared at me from the back of my hand, making me jump. It blinked and a mouth along my forearm opened and pulled in a breath.

‘Pain’, I thought. I ducked my head, willing myself to see the horn that was there.

The mouth spoke again, “Hey, now! Don’t go—”

I stabbed the back of my hand with my horn, causing the eye to explode its fluid everywhere. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the map table underneath my bleeding pastern.

I dislodged the back of my hoof from my horn and saw the creature was slowly moving closer. I had the terrifying impression that it was studying us, drawing out our suffering from sheer curiosity. A bright lavender beam from next to me caused it to stagger back, collapsing in on itself like a partly filled balloon. When the beam stopped, it slowly unfolded into its previous form.

I heard Twilight yell, “We need something unique! Something it isn’t prepared for!”

I did an inventory of what we had available. “Your books from the library! Are any of them spell books that we could—”

Phil stood in front of me. We were both in the black void where I had last talked to my Phil. The outline of the mirror frame and a partial view of Phil’s room was directly behind her. This Phil was the pony version, except her eyes were black, hollow holes with dark ichor staining her cheeks like tears.

“You left me, Mark. You left me to—”

I interrupted her. “Don’t be such a wuss, Phil.” That at least shut her up for a second. I struck my face with a forehoof…

“…not in those books! If we had the Elements of Harmony…”

The thing was close enough for me to try my trump card. I raised my shield around it and compressed as quickly as I could. The apparition deformed into a rough sphere, but then I couldn’t shrink it any further. If felt just like when I tried to crush a sphere of water that Shining had held up for me. Fluids resisted compression too much for me to squeeze them any further. My magic ran out followed by my shield flickering and disappearing. Almost leisurely, the beast expanded once again to its former shape.

“Damn—”

Trixie was dancing in my arms. There were candles all throughout the Throne Room. My friends were applauding from around the edges of the dance floor. Except they didn’t look right. Looking outwards, I saw they were all zombies. Trixie’s hoof pulled my head back to look at her. She was nothing but a skeleton now, although admittedly in a stunning wedding gown. Her horn glowed as her jaw clattered.

“You can join me forever now, my beloved.”

I struck the base of her horn to make her let go.

“Nope. You’ve lost too much weight.”

Hitting the base of my horn, I came back to reality to hear Twilight’s frantic voice.

“…hallucinations are getting more personal. It’s harder and harder to break free.”

Twilight had her shield up surrounding an area the size of the original map room. The apparition used its horn to tear a gateway to a dark realm filled with empty spheres. At the same time, an identical rent appeared inside the shield. I knew what would come next. I looked over to see a clear-eyed Twilight, but her muzzle was bloody.

“Twilight, can we escape into that realm?”

“No! That’s the Dream Realm. That’s where this monster will be the strongest.”

What else did I have? Could that work? “Drop the shield.”

“What?! If it touches us—”

I saw spiders everywhere. They were crawling all over me. Everything from the size of pinheads to goliaths twice my size. The webbing holding my limbs in place didn’t allow me to strike myself to generate any pain. I realized they were all moving towards my head. I felt them crawl up my nose but had to ignore them.

“Back for more hugs?”

They paused for just a moment. I took it and chomped down on my tongue…

…I gasped for air, reaching into my saddlebag for my last hope. Finding it, I looked up to see the monster had completely moved through the rent it had made in reality and the tear sealed behind it. I felt my rear legs tremble and my ears folded straight back on my head as the beast towered over us. Every fiber of my being wanted to just curl up and close my eyes, but I forced myself to keep moving. I threw the nullstone band towards where its chest pulsated.

It penetrated the blue field like a rock entering a lake, except lakes don’t catch on fire. A jet of flame erupted from either side of the rolled suppression band. The loop of nullstone rotated quickly illuminating the creature with gouts of fire in all directions. I knew the band would convert magical energy to heat and naturally move to the center of the source of magic. It was finding plenty to convert inside its new host.

My skull felt like it nearly exploded with the bellow of pain that drowned out all thought. The beast lifted its head high in apparent agony as spouts of fire sprayed through the purple barrier surrounding the barrel of the creature, making jet black bubbles appear where they had passed. The spectral form crashed through the nearest wall and back into the entry hallway in its blind attempt to escape the burning pain inside it. A huge rent materialized before the creature and it galloped inside.

“Now! It’s gone! Cast the spell, Twilight!”

Not hearing or seeing a response, I turned to see Twilight lying flat on the map table, her eyes wide as saucers and mouth open in horror. Muttering an apology, I yanked hard on her mane, bringing her head up close to mine. She whimpered once but gave no other response.

“Twilight, wake up!” Think! Think! “Thorax needs you!”

She blinked twice and turned one eye to look at me. Twilight struggled to get her hooves underneath herself. She choked out, “What…”

“The creature is gone! I don’t know for how long! Cast the spell.”

She didn’t hesitate and the scroll was lit once more. The welcoming sight of the time portal appeared and we began to float upwards. Just then, a new rent appeared next to the table. With horror, I realized I was drained of magic and completely unprotected.

“Twilight! Help!”

The alicorn’s horn lit and everything I saw was covered with a lavender tint. Glancing at Twilight, I saw a glowing skin of light covering her body. Looking down, I saw she had done the same to me.

The monster placed a front hoof on the map table as it reached up for me with the other. The crystal surface flared red, pulling the hoof downwards somehow into the table itself. The beast paused and looked down just as Twilight and I shot into the portal. In the realm between worlds, the foreleg of the monster floated between us, caught in the same eldritch current that dragged us between dimensions. The leg stretched and grew thin. A moment later, it broke like a dark thread and a fading scream echoed in my mind.

Twilight and I spilled gracelessly on the roadway, groaning softly. A few seconds later, Rainbow Dash zoomed over us, paying us no mind.

I got up and limped over to Twilight, the adrenaline and painkillers apparently as spent as I felt right then. Her face was a mess, with bruises and blood where she had pummeled herself back to awareness. She pulled me into a hug and we sat like that for I don’t know how long.

“That was horrible. The worst yet.” She sniffled.

I held her but noticed little tremors were racing across my body every once in a while. I had no idea why that was happening. I just knew I had to keep doing something or I couldn’t hold it together. I couldn’t stop to think. I didn’t want to stop and think.

I pulled back. “Let me patch you up. Let’s park ourselves somewhere with a good view of the race and just keep an eye out.”

Twilight nodded, her wings sagging in obvious relief.

She looked pretty close to normal when I put the first aid kit away. Both of us held out hope that the diving Rainbow Dash would achieve her rainboom, but she was stopped in mid-air at the last moment. Searching for the source of the field that held her, I spotted Starlight, but she teleported away after giving me no more than a quick glance. Even if I had been full of magic, there wouldn’t have been time to do anything to her.

We had no control whatsoever over how the portal ejected us from the time vortex, but when we came out on the Cloudsdale side, we had plenty of room to recover. That was not the case on the Ponyville side. This time, I was shot out backward, landing on my rump before I got my bearings. My tail was going to ache for days!

Twilight managed a more graceful landing on the map table beside me. Her wings hung limply at her sides and her head drooped almost to the ground. “I don’t know about you, but I could do with a dreamless sleep right now.”

“You said a mouthful, Sparkles,” I replied as I looked around to determine if we were going to get a chance to take a nap in this alternative future.

“TWILY! YOU’RE BACK!”

My ears swiveled in the direction of that very familiar voice. I scrambled to my hooves to face the stallion who was galloping up to the table. Shining Armor’s expression of relief at seeing Twilight quickly turned to puzzlement when he realized who was standing beside his sister.

“Princess Celestia? You’ve returned? And where’s Mark Wells?”

Oops. Looks like this world’s version of me never ate the poison joke. I raised a forehoof. “Present. Check out the cutie mark.” I turned sideways and lifted a wing to make sure he could see it clearly.

Shining gaped. “What happened to you?” He stared at Twilight. “To both of you? One moment you’re checking this weird table out, and the next moment, you’re sucked up into a big magic bubble. And you two look like you’ve been through a twelve-round prize fight. Actually, shouldn’t you be getting off that thing just in case it happens again?”

“It’s a long story, Shiny,” Twilight replied as she fluttered tiredly down beside him.

I switched to my stallion form as I followed suit, startling Shining again.

“Wow. Wait until Chryssy gets a look at that.”

Twilight’s eyes opened wide. “Chryssy?”

“Yeah,” he replied as he turned to head toward the library tree. “Both the girls have been so worried about you, but now that you’re back safe, she’ll be especially curious about the addition to Mark’s repertoire.”

As we followed the stallion, I started putting two and two together. Now, I had just a few minutes of exposure to the mare in question, but Twilight had told me much about her. I wondered if I should be concerned for my health.

Before we reached Twilight’s tree home, a certain pink princess burst out of the door and made a beeline for us. She obviously had spotted us through a window. She called back over her shoulder, “Hurry up, Chryssy! Twilight and Mark are back!” A moment later, Cadance practically crash-tackled Twilight. “Thank Celestia, you’re safe, Twilight!”

“Can’t… breathe…” wheezed the purple alicorn.

“Oh! Sorry! We were so worried about you. What happened to you two?”

“It’s complicated, and it isn’t over. We need to talk.”

“Can it wait until after you give a hug to your other sister-in-law?” came another female voice.

Distracted by the overenthusiastic greeting by the Princess of Love, I hadn’t noticed the other mare approach. I got a good look at this Chryssy now. Despite the sparkling wings, unfeigned joyful smile, and unblemished black carapace, I recognized Queen Chrysalis from the war setting. The changeling held open her forehooves for the requested hug.

Twilight looked like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. She tried to say something, but all that came out was, “GKK!” Then her eyes rolled up in her head and she keeled over.

Chrysalis blinked in incomprehension. “Was it something I said?” she asked in a hurt tone.

My earlier worry about a threat to my life was oddly validated – I think I might die laughing.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

After such a stressful time, it's good to have a laugh.

Chapter 41 - Positive Changes

Shining Armor picked up his swooning sister with some concern while the mares looked at me as if I was nuts.

I finally managed to dial down my manic laughter to chuckling. “I’m sorry, but you need to know what’s been happening to understand why I laughed. To start with, we’re not the same Mark Wells or Twilight Sparkle that you know, and Chrysalis, you’re definitely not the same changeling we know. It’s a long story, so may I suggest we go inside and make ourselves comfortable while I fill you all in? I could do with something to eat and drink too. Twilight as well when she recovers consciousness. Not sure how long that will be because we’re both pretty exhausted.”

“Okay, Scrumptious,” Chrysalis replied with a smirk, “but this better be a doozy of an explanation!”

I blinked and gaped. Did she just call me Scrumptious? What have I gotten myself into this time?

They all took my suggestion though. Shining gently settled Twilight into a big overstuffed chair of the type that I’d seen her fall asleep in many a time after trying to read all night, so I knew she’d be okay. Cadance, Shining, and Chrysalis made themselves comfortable on the sofa – the stallion happily sandwiched between the mares. I had to get a picture of that to take with me. If we ever managed to get back to our home reality, I would need proof of such an outrageous improbability. Yet I couldn’t fault it from looking at them. The way they casually touched and exchanged glances told me volumes.

Spike was here in this alternate world, and he happily went to prepare food and drink for Twilight and me. I didn’t wait for him to return to begin my explanation.

I covered almost everything about our current situation while avoiding saying anything about Chrysalis in Twilight’s and my home dimension. However, I eventually bit the bullet and brought up the war dimension. From her facial expressions, Chrysalis looked pleased that she was defending both ponies and changelings, then confused when I described Shining and Cadance being used as a love battery. Lastly, I recounted the events of the Royal Canterlot Wedding. I don’t think I could have upset both mares more if I’d told them I was drowning kittens as a hobby.

“But why?!” wailed Chrysalis, her wings vibrating with her irritation. “Why would I ever do such a thing?”

Cadance and Shining tried to console the love bug, but she’d apparently taken her counterpart’s actions to heart.

“The princesses couldn’t understand her motivations either because it was a crazy plan,” I replied. “I wasn’t there to witness it, so everything about the invasion I learned later. What’s more, it seems to me that it’s hard to harvest love from ponies you’ve enslaved.”

“That’s why we call her the Mad Queen,” came Twilight’s voice.

I turned to look at Twilight who was gazing at Chrysalis with a mixture of curiosity, fear, and confusion. It seemed that she had regained consciousness during my explanation and kept quiet until now.

“Perhaps if Chryssy can tell us about her past, it might throw some light on the situation,” I suggested. “Meanwhile, get some food and drink into you. Spike left it on the side table.”

The purple alicorn’s eyes snapped to the mentioned repast and she began to tear into her meal. She must have been starving based on the noises she was making.

I turned back to the others. “How about it?” I asked the changeling.

Chrysalis nodded, getting her wings under control. “I suppose my story starts when my mother died and I took over the hive when I was still very young. We had huge troubles and the hive was slowly dying. Our remote location in the Badlands and changes in pony civilization had led to a serious decline in the love harvest. Add to that just rotten timing. Every fifty years or so, ponies would be spooked by rumors of dangerous beasts taking the shape of their loved ones. Strangers wandering into town used to be a common occurrence, but with the advances in cheap communication across Equestria, the infrequent visitors had to come from somewhere. Without a credible backstory, our love harvesters had to spend months or even years establishing themselves. And with the increasing threat of being exposed by suspicious neighbors or even customers, changelings often had to abandon their pony identities and run for their lives. At my hive, many changelings were dying from malnutrition. My mother had been a staunch traditionalist and had refused to do anything differently from how changelings had done things for centuries, but I knew that we had to change our ways to survive. That was when I heard about this new alicorn whose special aspect was that of love. I was certain then that the Alicorn of Food was the key to our salvation.”

Cadance’s eyes narrowed and she lifted her nose slightly. “Shiny, be a dear and punch her for me, please.”

Shining Armor leaned back in their sofa, putting one foreleg around each of his wives. “No can do, Cady. You should have put ‘dole out punishment for teasing’ into our marriage contract. So it’s your fault, really.”

The pink alicorn’s icy gaze turned to her husband.

Chrysalis’ grin grew wider. “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant to say ‘The Princess of Indigestion and Tooth Decay’.” From Shining’s chuckle, I surmised that this was not the first time the topic had come up.

Cadance’s horn started to glow. “Just one more, little love bug, and we’ll see if you’re still ticklish…” A pink glow appeared on the inside of the changeling’s forelegs, causing Chrysalis to jerk them backward with a gasp. “… just inside your knees?”

The changeling wrapped those forelegs around her husband and wailed theatrically. “Shiny, darling! Save meeeeeeeee!”

“As if he could protect you!” Cadance reached for a giggling Chrysalis, leaning further onto Shining Armor who was now truly squished between his mares.

Twilight coughed and the three on the couch stopped moving to look back at Twilight then myself. They sat back down again and composed themselves, a slight blush on Cadance’s face.

The changeling smiled. “Sorry. Your counterparts are quite used to our antics and… well…”

I shared a look with Twilight and she nodded. Whatever else could be said about this universe, these three were truly happy with each other.

Chrysalis continued. “… because you two always have your hooves all over each other…”

I know my eyes went as wide as Twilight’s. Looking back, I saw the same predatory grin on both mares sitting on the couch. Together, they said “Reeeeeaaaalllllllyyyyy….” Even the tone of their voices was the same throughout.

Shining sat up straighter. “What? What did I miss?”

Cadance pointed a hoof at Twilight and myself. “Those two. Purely platonic friendship.”

He snorted and frowned at me. “Are you telling me you think Twily is not pretty enough? That she’s not good enough for you?” Chrysalis put a hoof on his shoulder to keep him from standing up. Cadance merely rolled her eyes.

I waved off his accusation and looked at Twilight. “No. Nothing like that.”

“Is it the snoring? Or the bad table manners?” suggested Shining helpfully.

“No. Well, yes, those are super annoying.” Twilight’s questioning look turned into a glare and her nostrils expanded with a huff. “But that’s not the deal-breaker. It’s…”

I turned back to three expectant faces, waiting on my every word. I smiled.

“It’s the future in-laws.”

All three jaws in front of me dropped in unison. Both Twilight and I cracked up.

When we were done laughing, Cadance said, “Twilight, this pony has no respect whatsoever for royalty.”

Chrysalis finished. “He’s perfect for you.”

Cadance and Chrysalis nodded to each other sagely.

Shining said, “Don’t I get any say in the matter?”

“No,” chorused both mares. Shining glowered and crossed his forelegs across his chest.

I prompted, “You were talking about realizing Cadance was your best hope?”

Chrysalis paused to look at Cadance and smiled. “It wasn’t easy to get a private audience, and even trickier to reveal my true nature to her. Changelings have always kept themselves apart from other species, hiding our very existence from all. I knew that the other hives would be upset with me for violating that principle, but the survival of mine was at stake and I didn’t care. I begged my case with Cadance and her guardian, Princess Celestia. They agreed to help on certain conditions. Cadance came to my hive and replenished half of our love stores merely from her power alone. As for me, I had to stay in Canterlot to learn more about ponies and how to rule wisely. I was the same apparent age as Cadance, and I went to school with her while a regent was appointed among my changelings to look after the hive during the week. I came back on the weekends to deal with royal matters.”

Chrysalis’ eyes defocused as she recalled those times. A hint of sadness crept into her voice. “It wasn’t easy at first. I was the only changeling in a class of mostly unicorns, many of them children of the snobbish nobles. Cadance stood by me though and refused to let the other fillies and colts harass me. She cared so much, and I felt just as strongly. We grew into BFF’s and I could no longer imagine my life without her. Then we met Shining Armor.”

Cadance exchanged a giggle with Chryssy before the changeling continued. “We both fell for the young stallion. He was handsome, true, but he was also smart and ambitious. A pity he was also very bashful around mares.”

Shining groaned. “Do you always have to tell everypony that part?”

Chrysalis patted his hoof with hers. “Yes, dear, I do. I could taste your emotions, remember? Cadance and I had to figure out ways to get you to notice us, one of which led to us becoming foalsitters for Twilight when she was still a little filly.”

“You foalsat me?!” squeaked Twilight.

“Of course!” Chrysalis replied with a fond grin. “We even came up with our own special welcoming chant.”

I remembered seeing Cadance and Twilight’s bizarre little ritual and I grinned. “Can I see that?”

Chrysalis exchanged a look with Cadance who shrugged. “Okay. Umm, Twily – want to join in?”

I think Twilight was caught off guard because she started blinking rapidly. “Ah… my ritual might differ from yours.”

“Fair enough.”

Both mares got off the sofa and faced each other. Then they began.

“Sunshine, sunshine,
love bugs awake!
Clap your hooves,
and do a little shake!”

They did all the motions that Twilight and her Cadance had done too. I chuckled and then guffawed when I saw the look on Twilight’s face.

“That… that’s virtually identical to mine,” she gasped. “You’ve only substituted love bugs for ladybugs.”

The mares resumed their seats with smiles on their faces. “We’re not that different despite being from different worlds, apparently,” Cadance replied.

“I gather you finally managed to land your stallion?” I asked.

Chrysalis nodded. “It took until a formal school dance before this loveable twit got around to doing anything about his feelings, but we eventually became a threesome. Then, after graduation, he proposed to us and we accepted. He had to go off to Royal Guard training, and Cadance and I had royal duties too. I needed to make improvements to my hive that were now possible due to a constant love supply, and Cadance helped me to start integrating changelings into Equestrian society. Years passed and Shiny distinguished himself in the Royal Guard, eventually becoming the Captain of the Canterlot Guard when the previous one passed away.”

Cadance spoke up. “That’s when Auntie Celestia insisted that it was time that we got married. He had the rank worthy of two princesses now, and the nobility couldn’t bitch and moan as much.”

Shining Armor said, “Although Twily was pretty pissed off about not being told about the wedding until shortly before because of the royal protocol for secrecy. However, she got over it quickly when she learned that she was our Best Mare, and her friends were Mares-in-Waiting.”

I asked, “Are they also Element Bearers?”

Cadance said, “Yes. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity.”

“And did they all get their cutie marks when Rainbow Dash did her first sonic rainboom?”

Shining Armor said, “Exactly. I take it that is the same as in your world?”

I looked at Twilight and she answered my unspoken question. “So that confirms it. The futures we are now travelling to no longer have to be tied to Starlight Glimmer preventing that key event from happening. That also means Star Swirl’s spell is destabilizing. It will always take us back to the same moment in time in our universe, but our return destination will only get more unpredictable.”

Twilight looked down and was silent for a long moment as she took it all in. She sighed. “Still, I find myself envying this world’s Twilight Sparkle. I could have had so much more if our Chrysalis was as wonderful as you. I’m truly sorry for my reaction earlier, and I hope we can still be friends, if not your actual sister-in-law.”

Chrysalis smiled and said, “I would expect no less from the Princess of Friendship.” She got off the sofa again and went over to Twilight. She spread her forehooves and said, “Can I have that hug now?”

Twilight giggled and got down to exchange a fervent hug with the changeling.

“Camera!” I cried. “Where’s a camera when you need one?!”

Everyone laughed at that. Damn, it was good to hear.

When the conversation resumed, something occurred to me. “Are you the rulers of the Crystal Empire in this reality?”

“Yes, we are,” Cadance replied.

“Okay. Chryssy, if you’re married to Shining and Cadance and they reside in the Empire, I presume you do too?”

The changeling nodded. “My title is Princess Chrysalis of the Crystal Empire, so I certainly need to,” she said with amusement.

“So, what happened to your hive?”

“It’s back where it belongs.”

I blinked. “Say what?”

Chryssy’s smile grew. “Did you wonder why my hive was located so far away that it was dying? It didn’t use to be in the Badlands. It was the only territory in Equestria not claimed by other hives when the queen was forced to move it over a thousand years ago.”

A thousand years? If I remembered the history lessons I’d been given… “Do you mean to tell me that your hive used to be in the Crystal Empire before Sombra banished the city?”

Chryssy grinned. “You catch on fast. Yes, we are Crystal Changelings. That’s why our wings sparkle when we’re fully nourished. However, when all the ponies and their city disappeared, we had no source of food and had to relocate. Now we’re back where we belong and I can care for my hive as part of my duties to the Crystal Empire.”

“That’s awesome. I’m very happy for you. I don’t know why it’s still called an empire though. It lost all its territories after it disappeared. Shouldn’t it be called the Crystal Kingdom?”

Cadance replied, “Actually, we already suggested the change of name but the citizens are resistant to the idea. It’s not too surprising considering that by their perception, the empire was in full bloom just a couple of years ago. We’re going to let some time pass before we try again. By then, the citizens will be more used to their change of status and a new generation will begin to have its influence.”

“Fair enough. So – what other things about your domain might be different from ours?”

Twilight pulled out a book and ballpoint pen to take notes. “Yes, please elaborate! It could be very useful when we get back to our reality,” she said enthusiastically.

So that’s what the three rulers of the Crystal Empire did, but only after checking out Twilight’s peculiar writing instrument. My counterpart here must have missed that chance. That reminded me – only Shining Armor had seen me as Marklestia so far – something else their Mark apparently couldn’t do. I had quite a party trick to play on the others later. The opportunity came up when the subject of Tirek came along.

Shining explained, “By the time Tirek escaped from Tartarus, changeling-pony couples were already becoming fairly common, and one such pair were walking nearby when the unicorn, Rare Find, had his magic stolen. Talus sensed his despair and investigated the problem. Tirek’s disguise was seen through and Talus kept an eye on him until a swarm of changeling guard drones could subdue him. He never got the chance to grow too much in power.”

I shook my head. “I wish we’d been so lucky. He had managed to steal most of the magic in Equestria before I confronted and defeated him.”

Chrysalis’s eyebrows shot up. “You defeated him? By yourself?”

“Good grief, no! I had lots of help, although I was the one who had to pull off the final part of the plan. I had to get close enough to him to do it without being killed or drained of my magic.”

The mare gave me a skeptical look. “Mark, you’re a good friend and a competent pony, but we both know that you’re an awful flyer. How could you have pulled off that critical part of your plan?”

I grinned. “I had an ace in the hole that your Mark apparently does not. Behold my ultimate form!” I said melodramatically. I then stood, switched to Marklestia and posed heroically.

The result was every bit as entertaining as I had hoped. The looks of shock, confusion, and sheer disbelief were only topped by the massive spit-take by Cadance who had been sipping on a mug of coffee at the time. Timed it perfectly! Twilight was giggling mightily and we exchanged grins. Let’s see them top that! Of course, I then had to explain what had happened to me that hadn’t transpired with my counterpart. I even dug out a few photos from my saddlebag of my favorites of Rarity’s fashions. I do believe Cadance was envious of me, but by the gleam in Chrysalis’s eyes, I think I might have given the changeling some ideas.

Digging in the saddlebags reminded Twilight of the contents of my left one, and she brought Nyx out to introduce her new daughter. Cadance took that as an excuse to berate Shining Armor for not giving her a foal yet. She was most interested when informed that our Cadance was expecting. Chrysalis then trumped them all by telling us that Shining was already a father to several nymphs. The changeling looked a little embarrassed and explained that a hive queen’s biology made her produce eggs prolifically and, well… Shiny was quite the stud. I could hardly wait to tell our Shining that one! It was sure to top Twilight’s reaction by a mile. When Chrysalis called in one of her daughters by Shining named Peytral, Nyx promptly started a game of tag with her. This was moved outside after minor damage to the library and lots of yelling by various parents. I tried to take a photo of the two of them but it proved impossible. Separately, they might stay still for a second or two, but together they were a two-headed swarm of boundless energy.

After our experience with the nightmare creature, both Twilight and I badly needed some rest and recuperation. Even knowing that we weren’t their real relatives, everyone made us feel right at home. After our injuries were given further treatment including a healing spell to speed up the recovery of my ankle, we headed off to bed.

Despite teasing from Cadance and Chrysalis, we decided on the same sleeping arrangements that we had used in Nyx’s home dimension, just in a different room. This time, Shining Armor, his two mares, and Peytral slept in the guest room while Twilight and I took her counterpart’s room. I stayed in my Marklestia form and rested next to Twilight in the spacious bed. Nyx curled up in her mother’s embrace and both were asleep in minutes.

I, on the other hoof, didn’t feel drowsy at all. Each time I tried to close my eyes, I found I couldn’t do so for more than a few seconds before a sense of impending dread forced them open again. Plus my rear right leg was bouncing every time I took my attention off of it. After fifteen minutes of this, I reluctantly made my way to the guest room. Thankfully, I could still hear voices so I wouldn’t be waking them up.

Just as I got ready to knock, the door opened to reveal Chrysalis with a very tired Peytral clinging to her, alternately declaring she was not sleepy and demanding her mother curl up in bed with her. “Can I…” The changeling princess leaned forward and narrowed her eyes, studying me for a moment. “How can we help you, Mark?”

I shifted on my hooves, feeling more than a bit embarrassed. “Uhhh… I’m sorry but… I’m having trouble getting to sleep. Would Shining Armor mind putting a shield around the tree? I think that would make me feel safer.”

Chrysalis pulled her head back and gave a meaningful glance to Cadance, who was brushing her mane further in the room. The changeling princess then turned back to me. “Absolutely. As soon as Shiny gets out of the little colt’s closet, I’ll have him put up that shield. Is there anything else?”

I smiled. “Nope. Nope. That will do it, thanks. Good night. See you in the morning.”

Only after I got back in bed did I realize I hadn’t waited to get a response from Chrysalis, instead just turning back down the hall. Outside the window, I saw the telltale shimmer of light reflecting off of Shining’s magenta shield. Somehow, I still didn’t feel like sleeping. In fact, the frogs of my hooves were sweaty and I found my front hooves playing with my mane, wrapping it around a few times then pulling it out, again and again. Why did I have so much nervous energy? It wasn’t like I had tea or coffee or anything like that.

Frankly, the last time I felt like this was before my senior thesis presentation. For two days and nights, I prepared, tried to rest and couldn’t, then got up and prepared some more. A few colas and pure terror got me through my thesis defense, and then I crashed for twenty-four hours straight. I didn’t know what could be making me feel that way now. I hadn’t seen anything in this dimension to even raise a little suspicion about the ponies here.

So why couldn’t I sleep?

Maybe thirty minutes later, I finally gave up listening to Twilight’s snores and headed downstairs. Perhaps some salad or bread or something would calm down my stomach and make me feel drowsy. I blinked a couple of times when I saw Cadance sitting in a reading chair near the center of the library.

I smirked as I walked up to her. “Couldn’t sleep either, huh?”

She smiled gently. “I suppose you could say that. It turns out that the reason is the same as yours.”

“Oh?”

“Chrysalis told me how troubled your emotions were when you came by our room. I decided to wait to see if you’d come down.”

I started to back up, heading for the kitchen. “I’m fine, really. Thanks, though.”

“Mark, do you normally have trouble falling asleep?”

I stopped and considered. “No. The last time was… well, it doesn’t matter.”

“Are you sure, Mark? I think it matters.”

I clenched my jaw a few times. “It’s nothing. I’ve been through worse. Recently, even.”

Cadance leaned forward. “Which is why I’d like to give you the chance to talk about exactly that. Have you had the opportunity to decompress since you left Nyx’s universe? Or have you been stoically bottling it up inside and kept on pressing forward, kept on moving to keep your mind off of thinking too hard about anything that happened?”

I was shocked to hear her say aloud exactly what I had been telling myself for some time now: “Keep moving.” “You have to keep doing something.” “Don’t think about it now.” That’s when I noticed one of my legs was shaking again. I stopped it with a conscious effort.

I smirked. “Sounds like you have personal experience with that kind of reaction. Does Shining Armor do that, maybe?”

She didn’t respond, just giving me that same warm, inviting smile while waiting for my answer.

I ran a hoof through my mane a few times. My neck felt numb in some places and entirely too sensitive in others. Slowly, I sat down on the divan that was set across from her. “Yeah. OK. Maybe I’m not quite firing on all cylinders right now.” I looked up to see her tilt her head. “Which means I admit I’m not thinking straight.”

“Tell me about how you feel right now.”

I tried to take stock of my emotional state. Somehow, this was easier in my pegacorn form. “Jumpy. Anxious. Like there is a new threat nearby that I can’t see or sense or taste. Like it isn’t safe to close my eyes no matter what.”

Cadance settled back into her chair. “Go ahead and lie down on your back, Mark.” As I hesitantly did so, she asked, “What do you think caused you to feel this way?”

I settled myself on the divan and looked up at the ceiling, reviewing the last few trips. “I don’t know. I can’t pinpoint exactly when I started feeling off.”

“Why don’t you tell me what happened in the jump just before this one?”

“Well, that would be the one I mentioned before; the Ponyville where ponies died in their sleep.”

“Did you come directly to this reality from there?”

I jumped a bit. How did I forget that? “Ah, no. Sorry. After that, Twilight and I had another unsuccessful attempt to stop Starlight Glimmer in Cloudsdale.”

Cadance’s horn flared and a pitcher of water appeared next to her with two glasses. She filled one and levitated herself and the chair closer so she could lean forward and hoof the glass over to me. “Why don’t you tell me all the details you remember. Include anything you recall about how you were feeling at the time.”

I proceeded to tell her everything I recalled about the Cloudsdale jump where Starlight grabbed Rainbow in her magic, then talked about the alternate universe with the nightmare creature, followed by the Cloudsdale attempt where I scared off Starlight. Throughout my tale, Cadance listened intently, only stopping me occasionally to ask a question to clarify one point or another, usually when I used idioms that just didn’t translate to this world.

She smiled at me. “Mark, let’s go over a couple of things. I know that the hallucinations you experienced would have been mortally terrifying to many ponies. Do you remember feeling fear during any of them?”

I pursed my lips. “No, not really. When I was a human, I had a few lucid dreams, and these were pretty similar. I knew the whole time that they weren’t real. It was just a matter of causing a break in the flow so I could force myself awake again.”

“And the creature itself?”

I nodded fervently. “Oh, hell yeah. That was scary. When it was up close to us and when it reached for me, I was terrified. I just knew I had to keep moving… keep doing something. I couldn’t rest. That’s why I’m still alive.”

Cadance was silent for some time. Eventually, I looked over to her. She was studying me, then smiled again. “Help me understand. You felt scared in that situation, and it was only a compulsion to keep moving that caused you to save yourself. Is that correct?”

I blinked then looked at the ceiling again. “Uh. Yeah. Maybe.” I didn’t say that with much conviction. What I’d said before had all come out of me without me thinking about it.

“Do you feel any guilt about what happened to the creature?”

I scoffed. “No. Not at all. It had most likely killed all of the ponies in Equestria. If anything deserved to die, that was it. I don’t even feel bad about how it died. Yeah, it got royally screwed by being stretched out and popped over miles of distance and decades of time. But it was the combination of Star Swirl’s spell and unhappy Elements of Harmony acting through the map table that did it – not me. At least, I’m guessing that’s what happened.”

I noticed that I was feeling a bit more relaxed now. I didn’t feel like I needed to leap off of the couch at a moment’s notice.

After several seconds, Cadance said, “Let’s take a look at a different event. Can you go over your emotions when you protected yourself and Twilight from Starlight Glimmer?”

“Uh… sure. Immediately after I saw Twilight get struck, I felt concern for her and dove to catch her. Umm… I was shocked and felt despair when Starlight destroyed the spell scroll. And I was afraid when Starlight told me she was done messing with us.”

I shifted on the couch, trying to get comfortable. “That fear went away when she started to attack me again. I felt determined, like I had to act when she started to break through my shield. So I took off my regulating band and I think… yeah… I was feeling desperate when I cast my shield around her and started to contract it.” I blinked then twisted my upper body to look directly at Cadance. “Wait. I crushed her shield and she was still able to cast spells. She even teleported. Why didn’t the feedback cause her to become helpless?”

Cadance looked away and narrowed her eyes. “Did her shield crack like a glass dome or fall apart in plates and arcs?”

“The latter. Does that mean something?”

Cadance nodded. “Being married to the foremost shield-caster in generations has its benefits. Starlight Glimmer cast a frangible shield. Excellent against magic attacks but nearly useless against physical ones. About as strong as the general purpose shield against magic, but its main benefit is that the casting energy is absorbed by the way it fractures. No magical feedback.”

“Oh.” I rolled back onto the couch. “I guess that makes sense.”

After ten seconds or so, Cadance said, “So you felt desperate when you cast the shield around Starlight Glimmer.”

“Yeah. Then she teleported away. After that—”

“Mark, could you go over that part once again? What happened right after you saw Starlight’s shield start to fail, and what emotions were you feeling?”

I frowned, thinking back. “Umm… I was feeling angry when I started to collapse the shield with as much magic as I could. One of the side effects of this form is that I can dump all of my magic into a spell in just a few seconds. So for any spell that gets stronger with more magic flow, I’m the strongest there is for about three seconds.”

“Could you walk me through those three seconds?”

I noticed one of my rear legs was starting to vibrate again until I willed it to stop. “S-s-so Starlight’s blast bounced back and hit her, then she tried to push my bubble away by casting magic in all directions but that didn’t stop it.”

“And what were you feeling?”

I swallowed. “Angry. Determined. Like I had to keep going.” I breathed deeply a few times.

“Can you tell me what happened next?”

I started to cry. I wiped away tears with a fetlock. “She looked at me. I saw how scared she was.” I had to breathe for a bit before I could continue. “I think I was screaming at that point. It was pure hate. I wanted to keep going until she was dead. I wanted to kill her.” I was openly sobbing now. “I – I saw her body start to bend as my shield pressed in on her. Then the bubble went white and she was gone.”

I broke down and cried my eyes out. It took me a few minutes to collect myself. I went through maybe half a box of tissues that Cadance floated over to me. Eventually, I was able to continue.

“I don’t know if your Mark Wells told you much about his world, but mine is pretty safe. Very, very few people ever get in a situation where they need to try to kill anyone else. And since I wasn’t a police officer or a soldier, I never experienced anything remotely like that. Not ever. I should have found another way. There had to be something I could have done differently.”

Cadance said, “Do you regret going to protect Twilight?”

I shook my head. “No. I had to do that. Starlight could have killed her in a second if I left her unprotected.”

“So you feel good about protecting Twilight and not flying off to perform some different kind of attack. Is that correct?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“So you were by Twilight’s side with your shield protecting her. Thinking about it now, when there is plenty of time to consider your options, is there a different spell you know that could have delayed or distracted Starlight Glimmer?”

“No. But I should have known something. I should have learned something.”

“Have you been taking lessons regularly to improve your unicorn magic?”

I paused. “Yeah. But it wasn’t enough.”

I felt Cadance’s hoof on my shoulder, comforting me. “It’s very common for a pony to look back with hindsight, wishing they had a different spell or skill or tool. But you did have the right tool after all. You were able to keep your friend safe. Even now, looking back, do you agree that there was no other course that would keep Twilight alive?”

I thought about it but didn’t have any other answers. “Yes.”

“Do you think you can feel some pride for keeping your friend safe?”

“I don’t think I can feel proud about how I did it.”

“That’s fine. But for now, just think about the fact that you almost certainly saved Twilight’s life. Can you feel proud of that?”

I thought about all of Twilight’s friends that loved her – about how sad they would be if she had died. I thought about Nyx and Thorax. I blew my nose once again and looked up to where Twilight was sleeping. “Yes. I think I can feel good about that.”

“That’s wonderful. Hold onto that thought.” Cadance got up. “How do you feel now?”

I smiled up at her as I took stock of my body. “Quite a bit better, thanks. Thank you, Cadance.”

“I’m very glad to help. I think that is enough talking for tonight. You can sleep here if you like, but I think you’ll rest better next to your friend.”

I got up slowly, feeling the late hour in my fatigue. “Yeah, I think I’ll do that.”

From behind me, I heard, “Oh, and Mark?”

I looked back. Cadance said, “Your homework is to stop and examine how you feel about saving Twilight’s life. Do this before you go to sleep each night and any time the doubts start creeping in again.” She came up and gave me a wing hug. “Mark, this is just the beginning of your road to recovery. When you get back to Twilight’s and your home dimension, seek out my counterpart or another experienced counselor. Don’t be afraid to talk to Twilight, either. She is a very strong mare and can listen to her friend without taking on your problems.”

I nodded. “OK. I’ll… I’ll do that. Thanks again, Cadance. This has helped me a lot.”

Cadance folded her wing back and took a step to the side. “Good night, Mark.”

“Good night.”

Soon, I was climbing back into bed. My large frame wasn’t very stealthy and Twilight looked over at me. “Everything alright, Mark?”

I smiled. “Better. Had a talk with Cadance and I think I can sleep now. I’ll tell you about it in the morning.”

“I’ll…” Twilight yawned hugely. “I’ll hold you to that. Sweet dreams.” She turned back to curl her neck around her daughter and soon I heard the alicorn’s snores again.

I closed my eyes and smiled. “Yeah. I think they just might be.”

I got all the pictures that I wanted of Chryssy with Twilight the next day. Cadance and Shining Armor joined in for several photos. The changeling was more than willing to have the pictures taken, declaring that if we should ever find the opportunity, we had to rub them in the face of the mad queen. And we finally got Nyx and Peytral to stay still long enough to get at least one photo of them together.

After replenishing our supplies, Twilight returned Nyx to the saddlebag, but not before putting a spell on her that would hopefully ameliorate the interference with the temporal vortex. We would have liked to have stayed longer with these wonderful alternate versions of the ponies we knew, but we had a responsibility to our own timeline and a miscreant to apprehend. Personally, I felt that we could have stayed a little longer, but I think Twilight was a bit too conflicted when she found out that the local Thorax was Chrysalis, Cadance, and Shining’s butler. He did look quite good in that tuxedo, I have to admit. Poor Twilight though! When she tried to talk with him, Thorax was quite formal and distant. Apparently he could feel her emotions for his form and he answered most of her questions with nothing more than an arched eyebrow and disapproving stare. Cadance asked me what was up with Twilight and I quietly told her about their relationship back in our reality. I left the pink alicorn with a wild gleam in her eyes. I wondered if I had accidentally started something but then I shrugged. Let that Twilight deal with her sister-in-law’s machinations.

They were all there to see us depart, and I do mean everyone. I’m pretty sure the whole town had gathered to watch us activate the temporal vortex after hearing the news about us, including several changelings that were now citizens of Ponyville. It didn’t take a genius to notice that some were obviously partners of the ponies, and I knew that Chryssy had certainly started a trend when she had married Shining and Cadance. All of them had the same sparkling wings and lack of holes as Chrysalis. Integration with pony society had done them a world of good and Chrysalis proudly told me that other changeling hives were taking the first steps to follow hers out of the shadows.

Twilight and I got hugs from everyone – Chryssy gives very nice ones. She told me, “Stay safe, Scrumptious.” No, I didn’t dare ask why she had nicknamed me, or at least the other Mark, that. Some things were best left unknown.

The crowd oohed as I transformed into my pegacorn form and aahed as Twilight activated the vortex and we were drawn up into it. I truly hoped that they would get our counterparts back soon.

When we exited the portal, Twilight had a shield up already. However, Starlight didn’t try to attack us. Of course, she probably thought that we were stuck in the future due to destroying the original scroll and hadn’t expected Twilight’s forethought to save us from that fate. Even so, after I had nearly killed her, I bet she was going to be a whole lot more cautious from now on.

The odds were still stacked against us though. There were a million ways this delicate event in history could be disrupted. Our best strategy was to try to protect Rainbow Dash while observing as best we could how Starlight went about her disruption of events. If we could find some pattern or unconscious bias, we could possibly take advantage of it. The rogue unicorn just had to slip up once.

But not this time. From the cover of a cloud, Starlight cast a spell that hit Rainbow Dash and caused her to slump over at the starting line. By the time she rolled onto her side, Rainbow was already snoring. Twilight and I looked at each other for just a moment before we were whisked away to the unknown once more.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. Let's see what happens to Mark and Twilight next.

Art by Mix-up.

And if you'd like to leave me a tip, buy me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 42 - Chaos and Kinks

When we landed on the map table, I was shocked by the familiarity of it all. We were in the map room of Twilight’s castle. The roof was intact. Everything seemed well maintained and not abandoned. The air smelled clear with just the faintest hint of apples. The floor was… I leaned over the table to get a better look. The floor was a checkerboard of black and white squares that shifted between the two colors like a malfunctioning TV set.

I turned around and opened my mouth to say something only to see Twilight staring at me intensely, a forehoof vertically touching her lips. She glanced out one of the windows then back at me. Following her gaze, I saw a large whale, a blue whale I think, slowly swim through the air perhaps a mile away. As it passed, I saw it was wearing a purple mumu and strings of gigantic tin cans were tied to its tail flukes.

I faced Twilight again and nodded. Message received. Just don’t draw his attention for twenty minutes and then leave.

Sadly, we didn’t last half of that time.

Spike pushed open the door, a mop in one hand and a bucket in the other. The sunglasses made sense, actually, given how much light the floor was giving off. While Twilight and I both tried to ‘hush’ him and tell him to be quiet, he pushed the sunglasses up on his forehead. “Twilight? Princess Celestia? How did you get here? How did you escape from Discord?”

Black and white streamers spiraled up from the floor all around the table. A familiar chuckle echoed all around us. I sighed while Twilight facehoofed.

Spike looked between us. “Did I do something wrong?”

I felt a paw land on my shoulder and the familiar wrench of teleportation mixed in with a psychedelic light show.

Staggering a bit to regain my balance, I said, “I’ll never get used to that.”

When my eyes refocused, it was to see Discord frowning at me. Apparently, this version had not invited my pegacorn self to his house for a friendship problem. Go figure.

Realizing that I was perhaps doing something unwise, I ignored Discord for the moment and looked around the room, recognizing it immediately. It was the Canterlot Castle throne room, except all the stained glass now showed the same scenes but with Discord taking the place of every pony or other creature. Instead of Celestia’s throne, there was a low divan on the dais. The smug draconequus appeared on the couch with a flash, giving me a calculating stare. The back wall was gone, showing instead a view of Canterlot. An enormous potted plant slowly juggled what I thought was Canterlot Stadium, Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and Joe’s Donut Shop. Other buildings, parks, and sections of the mountain floated either right-side-up or upside down. The rearranged city of Canterlot shared the air space with structures made of gigantic children’s building toys such as brightly-colored wooden blocks. To top it off, the sky color was divided into three layers: pink at the bottom, then white, and a medium brown on top. A flock of glowing blue origami cranes flapped past as I watched.

In front of the distracting backdrop, the dais stretched across the length of the room and was filled with statuary. I recognized Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance; Shining Armor; all six Element Bearers; and Queen Chrysalis. Most had looks of surprise or anger on their faces. None were in a pose that would be suitable for a statue, which led to only one logical conclusion.

I heard Twilight gasp on my right as she reached it at the same time. Discord had not been defeated by the Elements of Harmony upon his escape from his stone prison. Instead, he had returned the favor to anypony he considered a threat. And now Twilight and I were right in his crosshairs.

There were two ways I could think of to play this. Even without my regulating band, I knew brute force was a losing bet. That left one more option: try to keep him off balance until something better came to mind. I smiled. “It’s good to see you again, Discord.”

His smile was much more predatory than friendly. “Moi? Oh, you are most mistaken, fellow chimera. We’ve never met.”

I smirked. “Prove to me that you’re not the Discord we know.”

He opened his mouth and lifted a claw but no words came out. Then his smile turned much more genuine. “Points for you, however—”

I waved him silent with a hoof. “Fine then. I’ll do it. Who shot first, Han or Greedo?”

Discord lips made a tight line and he tilted his head.

“Han did,” said Twilight. When I glanced at her, she shrugged. “Even I know that. It’s what establishes his character for the audience.”

When I turned back to Discord he was standing right in front of me, his nose inches from mine, images whirling across his eyes at dizzying speed. “Ah, how very interesting!” Before I could speak, he snapped his fingers and I was standing on two legs in my human form.

I staggered to get my balance. When I got it back, I saw Discord waving to the row of statues. “You’ll make such an odd addition to my collection, I just love it!” He held up his claws, ready to snap them.

I quickly said, “What, again?”

He paused and stared at me intently, then lowered his clawed hand. “Oh. I see. Well, lucky for you I make it a point never to repeat myself.” His gaze then moved to my saddlebags, which had slid to the floor when I transformed, particularly my left saddlebag. “Fortunately, you brought a suitable replacement.”

Twilight growled. “Discord, don’t even –”

I heard the snap of his fingers and Twilight was now a statue frozen with a glare and bared teeth. Discord hadn’t even bothered to look her way. “I’m going to have to settle for the alicorn version being sufficiently different from the unicorn one. Bending the rules a bit, but that’s kind of my thing, don’t you know.”

He grinned at me and clasped his paw and clawed hand together. “That’s your cue. Come on. You’re supposed to say, ‘Discord, you turn her back right now!’ ”

I had swallowed when Twilight was turned to stone, but I had my wits about me again. “How about, ‘Discord, don’t make me take out my secret weapon.’ ”

The draconequus tilted his head and dropped his arms to his sides. “OK. I’ll admit it. You’re just strange.” He narrowed his eyes and tapped his chin for a few seconds, then waved dismissively. “No, don’t let me stop you. I’m bored. Do something interesting.”

I nodded and opened my left saddlebag. I thought of Nyx and felt her coat touch my hand. I gently pulled Nyx out of the bag, holding her over the floor.

As the stasis field faded away, she blinked up at me and smiled. “Whoa! Cool new form, Mark! Kinda ugly, though.” She got on her hooves and looked past me as I stepped back. She gasped upon seeing Discord, who had a nasty grin and who was steepling his paw digits with the claws on his other hand.

Instantaneously, she had closed the distance and was hugging him around one leg. “Discord! Discord! Discord!” The draconequus frowned and shook his leg feebly in an attempt to get her off.

He needn’t have bothered. She zoomed in front of the petrified Twilight and let out another gasp. “This is soooooooo cooooool! It looks just like mom!”

Discord got his composure back and held up his clawed hand. “Would you like to see how I did it?”

Before Nyx could answer, I interrupted. “Nyx, is there a trick you can show Mr. Discord first?”

She pulled her lips to the side for a second then beamed. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Nyx bounced on her hooves to punctuate each word. The foal then took a deep breath, held it, and squeezed her eyes shut.

Discord turned to me and cocked his head, hand still upraised. I ignored him and folded my arms across my chest. After several seconds, hundreds of small orange tubes sprouted from all over the little alicorn’s body, slowly growing until they were a few inches long. Nyx’s eyes scrunched even tighter and the new appendages wiggled around slightly like neon worms.

Her breath left her explosively and the illusion disappeared with it. She beamed up at the draconequus. “So whaddya think?”

“Absolutely hideous,” he replied. “Orange is just not your color.”

The foal laughed freely. “I know, right!” She looked past Discord and gasped again. “Did you do all that to the outside? That is so awesome!”

Discord blinked and hesitated. “Ummm…”

Nyx opened her wings. “I gotta go see this! See you later! Bye!” She shot over the two of us, past the row of statues and banked out of sight.

I elbowed Discord in the side. “Had no idea that was going to happen, did you?”

“None whatsoever.” He turned to look at me and rolled his eyes. “So now you try to convince me to see the error of my ways? Some friendship-flavored attempt to appeal to my better nature which I tragically left in the dentist waiting room?”

“Nope.” I smiled. “Now we have cucumber sandwiches and tea.” I then noticed how parts of me were colder than they should be. “Oh, and … uh … if you wouldn't mind whipping up some clothes for me?”

One snap later, I was wearing black pajamas that felt like silk. I looked down and tented out the fabric of my top. A silkscreened image of a happily smiling Discord stared back at me. I lifted my gaze to see Discord already seated in mid-air with his feet on the ground. A simple wooden chair spun across the floor to stop positioned directly beneath him. I felt a blow on the back of my knees, and I fell backward into another chair which marched me forward. A circular wrought iron table laden with a tea set and a plate of sandwiches rose from the floor to fill the space between us.

I think I did a good job of keeping my hands shaking to a minimum as I poured. Discord stared flatly at me as I leaned back, a sandwich in one hand and a cup in the other. He chewed his cup thoughtfully. “And now I’m getting bored.”

I smirked. “You know, I can tell you are not exactly the same as our Discord. You’re just….” I waved a hand as I acted like I was searching for the right word. “… less.”

The draconequus grew a second set of ears and they perked forward along with his original pair. “Oh? In what way, pray tell?”

“Less disciplined, less patient, but mostly less wise.”

He chortled. “And what grand lesson that unlocked the secrets of the universe does my counterpart know that I am not privy to, hmmm?”

I took a sip, swallowed, and looked at him steadily. “That Chaos and Order need to work together in balance, and you will be slapped down again and again until you learn this.”

Discord fell off his chair and rolled on the ground, holding his stomach. Eventually, his laughter ceased. “Oh, you are truly the most entertaining sort! You, the hornless and wingless Champion of Harmony, are going to defeat me! This is just too rich!”

I snorted. “Nothing of the sort. You have already defeated yourself. You are no longer able to represent the Spirit of Chaos that you describe yourself to be.”

His laughter ceased and he appeared as a miniature version of himself standing on my left shoulder. Discord’s voice was a couple of octaves higher. “Now that was just plain-brown-wrapper insulting! I am the embodiment of Chaos itself. I have—”

“Failed to live up to your station.” I finished for him then pointed to the statues on the dais. “What was life like for Celestia yesterday? And the day before that? How was it different?” The miniature Discord on my shoulder scowled. I ignored the cuteness of it and continued. “And let's look outside, shall we?”

I stood up and stepped closer to the dais to better see the view of the mixed up city and skyline. “I see a city that has been rearranged into islands with some things right-side-up and others upside-down. Plus easily-recognized items and parts of items arranged in a colorful and eye-catching way.” I stared at the creature on my shoulder. “And what will I see tomorrow? Some parts of the city right-side-up and others upside-down, with easily-recognized items and parts of items arranged in a colorful and eye-catching way.”

Discord let out an adorable high-pitched growl. “The pieces will be new, arranged in a different order.”

“Doesn’t matter. The general description is the same. In other words, you have become static, unchanging, and completely devoid of any innovation or true change.”

Discord rubbed his chin and reappeared in his normal size in front of me. He stared off into space. “I suppose… if you wanted to twist things around, it could be seen that way.”

I nodded. “And what happens to a Lord of Chaos when he stops being true to his nature?”

Discord glanced at me then held up his clawed hand. It was now translucent with some of the background clearly visible through it. He snarled and brought his face down to mine. “Did you truly think you could just wish me away so easily? I’ll just create some chaos by—”

I frowned back. “Of course not! Don’t be so paranoid. I’m here to help you.”

His head jerked back and his entire body was opaque again. His wide eyes spiraled in his skull. “What?”

“Discord, you’re my friend, and that means I put your interests ahead of my own. You need my help right now. Let me do so.”

He regarded me with a furrowed brow. “Hmm… For a moment there, I was certain you were trying to blindside me somehow.”

Nyx barreled into Discord from the side with a flying hug. “Oh my gosh, this place is just so cool oh look sandwiches!” She flew down to the table, shoved a couple into her mouth then surveyed the room. With a grin, she snatched up my teacup and flew past us. Her horn glowed and a field of her light-blue magic surrounded her as she sat down on the wall a few feet off the floor. She glanced up at us disdainfully as she pretended to sip from the cup.

I smiled. “Nyx, why are you sitting on the wall?”

She lowered her cup and cocked an eyebrow at me. “I’m afraid you are mistaken, Mark. It is the two of you who are standing on a wall.”

I let my mouth hang open in mock surprise, then looked over at Discord. All the color literally drained from his face to pool beneath his feet. “Egads!” he breathed.

“She’s right!” I said.

Discord and I rushed over to the same wall and made a big deal of being stuck there. I’ll admit the draconequus did a much better job at it complete with squishing noises and parts of him sticking to the wall. “Help us!” he wailed. “Help us, all-powerful Nyx!”

Her field cut out and she fell to the floor giggling. “You two are great!” The alicorn foal stood up and gave us a huge grin. “I’m gonna look around some more.” With a rapid buzz of her wings, she was gone again.

Discord tried to pull himself away from the wall, only to have parts of himself that had melted into elastic goo pull him back. He sighed. “Not very nice of her to leave us stuck here.”

I stepped away from the wall. “Admit it, Discord. You are actually happy now, for the first time in ages.”

Discord stepped out of the image on my shirt and faced me. “Oh, but you are mistaken, dear human. I am extremely happy doing whatever I want in this land.”

I shook my head. “What you are talking about is ‘pleasure’. It is pleasurable to do anything you want without hindrance. Tell me. If you woke up in a box and stayed there all day, would you be happy? My Discord would be.”

The draconequus looked down on me and frowned.

I continued. “The main difference between you two is that my Discord was willing to work for what he desired. He stopped being lazy and just snapping his fingers to satisfy every whim.”

Discord pulled off a horn and showed it to me. “But that’s my nature. It’s as much a part of me as this is.”

I shook my head. “My Discord encourages change in those around him. His friends accept this and value him for it. He also fell in love and worked very hard for a long time to have that love reciprocated.”

He tilted his head. “Who?”

I balled my fists, put them on my hips and beamed up at him.

I got a level stare in return. “No. Just no.”

I cracked up. “Sorry. Your look was priceless.” I then stared into his eyes. “I’ve already given you a big hint.”

At his continued glare, I glanced over to the table, which was now eating the tea set and remaining sandwiches.

“Fluttershy?!” With a flash, the pegasus’ statue was floating in front of Discord as he considered it. “Well… I suppose she would be the most accepting of the bunch.”

I grinned. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the other you is considering having foals someday.”

He blinked and stared at me.

I chuckled. “Or is that just a bit too much chaos for you to handle?”

Discord floated Fluttershy back to her spot on the dais. I had to make my final pitch.

“Discord, life for you in my reality is interesting. It’s unpredictable. You wake up happy. That’s something you can have here. All you need to do is allow these ponies to teach you how.”

The draconequus wilted a bit and stared at the statues arrayed before the two of us. For several seconds, he just stood there. OK, time for my second final pitch. “Do you need me to literally twist your arm?”

He snorted. “It’s no use. There’s no way they would accept me.”

I scoffed. “Are you seriously doubting ponies’ ability to forgive in the name of friendship?”

He chuckled. “I suppose that does sound a bit naive. Still, the Element Bearers will blast me back into stone the moment they are released.”

“That’s what my secret weapon is for.”

A smile started to grow on Discord’s face.

The skyline returned to normal. I was sure the same had happened all across Equestria. The throne room returned to its natural state, except that the stained glass image of the Elements defeating Discord now showed me in silk pajamas as the center of attention. I suppose I couldn’t expect everything to be the same.

Lastly, Discord snapped his claws and every petrified statue was replaced with their live counterparts. At the same time, I found myself in my pink maned Marklestia form.

Celestia turned and shouted, “Dis..” She paused when she saw me, then glared at the draconequus. “Discord!”

He held up his clawed hand with one digit upraised, the paw of his other hand on Nyx’s back. “First of all, I sincerely apologize for my actions. I take full responsibility for them and will do everything it takes to make it up to all of you and to Equestria. Second…” He rustled Nyx’s mane. “… let me introduce you all to Nyx!”

The little alicorn bounced in place and beamed. “Hi! Who’s the best flyer here? Who wants to race?”

“That would be me!” Rainbow Dash grinned.

“Three-two-one-go!” The little alicorn rocketed down a corridor, narrowly missing a dull gray unicorn mare that dived out of the way. A rainbow streak followed immediately afterwards. The mare blinked a couple of times, finding she was now the center of attention. She quickly scampered out of the throne room. See you later, Chrysalis. Better watch out, though—I know where you are ticklish.

The remaining mares and Shining Armor looked at each other, seemingly at a loss for words. Without the Element of Loyalty, their options against Discord were limited.

My Twilight fluffed her wings and spoke up. “Perhaps some introductions are in order.”

Discord provided tea and cucumber sandwiches for everypony, also conjuring up a long wooden table for all of us to use. Each chair was emblazoned with their occupant’s cutie mark, except for the one my Twilight occupied which also had Nyx’s cutie mark, which I thought was a nice touch. Perhaps not coincidentally, Discord’s chair (with a scribble for his symbol) sat next to Fluttershy’s and he doted on her during the discussion. The yellow pegasus was blushing slightly but her shy smile was constant. I counted that as a good sign.

I jumped when Rainbow Dash and Nyx buzzed the table once, but they were gone again before anything could be said to them. Only then did I notice that my half-eaten sandwich was gone.

Alicorn Twilight had just finished an abbreviated version of our background and turned to me. “Was there anything you wanted to add, Mark?”

I had switched to my pegasus form early in the discussion, partly in deference to the Celestia Version 1.0 model that sat across from Twilight and myself. I now smiled at the Royal Sisters. “First of all, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Your Highnesses.”

I then got to hear Celestia’s familiar melodic voice. “Mark. Call us Celestia and Luna. Please accept our deep thanks. Is there anything either of you…” Celestia’s horn flared and the sandwich in front of her disappeared with a pop. Two whooshes of air passed over the table in quick succession. The sandwich then returned with a flash of light. “… or the filly requires, please just ask.”

“Actually, there are two things. Did either of you recently receive a scroll through one of the mirrors in the portal room?”

The sisters glanced at each other then Luna replied. “We fear not. Mayhap we can travel there posthaste.”

Discord said. “Ahhhh…” He lowered his head. “I’m very sorry, but I broke all of them to prevent anyone from coming to challenge me from other dimensions. I will do whatever needs to be done to make things right, but I simply don’t have the ability to re-establish the gateways. Again… sorry.” He lowered his head and closed his eyes, only to give a surprised look at Fluttershy when she stroked his arm gently.

I turned back to the obviously displeased alicorn sisters. “Can you think of any message that could arrive by scroll from one of the dimensions that would cause you to leave Equestria immediately? A matter so sensitive that you would not tell anypony the name of the sender or the contents of the message?”

Celestia and Luna frowned at each other but didn’t share any words. Celestia shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mark. That simply isn’t enough information to narrow it down. It is possible that we were asked to deal with an existential threat elsewhere or one that could make its way to Equestria. Among these are beings and places that are not named.”

Luna said, “Mere supposition. ‘Tis just as likely neither was the inducement.”

I deflated a bit. On to topic number two. “Do you have anything we could use to subdue a rogue unicorn mage?”

This universe’s Twilight looked up from where she was studying a copy of Star Swirl’s spell. “I’m afraid the two options are to overwhelm them with more power or place a nullstone ring on their horn. We can provide you both with as many as you like.”

I glanced to my Twilight and she nodded. I said, “If we each could get two that would be wonderful, thank you.”

My Twilight added, “Unfortunately, we can’t stay any longer than absolutely necessary. We’re both well rested and ready to try again.”

Princess Cadance spoke up. “I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say we are sorry to see you go.”

The alicorn Twilight inclined her head towards her unicorn counterpart. “I think it is for the best. Besides, I suspect there may be someone who will be growing into new responsibilities soon.” She waved her wings for emphasis.

This universe’s Twilight blushed while Pinkie Pie jumped on the table. “I need to start the ‘Congratulations On Your Soon To Become An Alicorn Party’ planning now!”

We did take the time to ride in the Royal Carriages from the Canterlot Train Station. I socialized and related the stories I knew about the other passenger’s counterparts. Once again, it seemed only my universe had a pregnant Cadance. While I was hobnobbing, the two Twilights, Celestia, and Luna discussed Star Swirl’s spell along with Starlight Glimmer’s modifications. My Twilight had a few pages of notes by the time we arrived in Ponyville.

It occurred to me belatedly to ask my Twilight if it would be possible to replace the nullstone band that I had sacrificed to the nightmare creature. Unfortunately, I was informed that due to the difficulty of working with nullstone and infusing the homing spells into the metal binders despite the insulating material, it would take over a week to make one, time that we could not spare.

As promised, Rainbow Dash brought a very tired Nyx back to us as we walked up to the map table. The foal was already asleep by the time her mom put the stasis and temporal masking spells on her. After changing to my short-maned Marklestia form and placing Nyx in my left saddlebag, we waved goodbye to our new friends. Twilight activated the scroll and we floated upwards to the portal. My last sight of that universe was Discord surreptitiously giving me a wink and a thumbs-up while Fluttershy passionately described something of interest, complete with gesticulations with her forehooves.

When we exited the portal, Twilight put in action the strategy we had discussed just before she cast the spell. The moment we appeared in Cloudsdale, Twilight already had her shield up, her horn charged, and was facing the direction of the cloud I had pointed out to her earlier. Before I even had a good look at her target, she had loosed a bright beam of energy that way. Unfortunately, the cloud pinched just as Twilight’s spell got there: Starlight had already teleported away.

“Crap!” exclaimed Twilight, which shocked me a bit. That had to be the strongest curse I had ever heard from the alicorn.

This time, we never even saw Starlight before or after the spell blast that paralyzed Rainbow Dash.

We dropped out of the time vortex into searing heat and blinding light. The very atmosphere we tried to breathe seemed to be on fire. Twilight’s horn flared and a shield exploded out from her and swept over me, driving away the worst of the oven baked atmosphere. However, the temperature of the table under us was about to give us severe burns. We took to the air and hovered while we assessed our new situation. I switched to my pegasus form and sure enough, the smaller body and surface area could withstand the heat better than my pegacorn self could. I had heard tales that Celestia could walk on the sun, but if so, that was one area we were definitely not alike.

Twilight’s shield also cut down the brightness, reflecting light as well as heat. As it cooled down inside our bubble, we looked for familiar landmarks, but there was little to see. The only visible signs of vegetation were the desiccated and scorched stumps of some trees in the direction of the Everfree Forest. Everything else seemed to have turned to dust and blown away, leaving just dirt and stones. I didn’t see any signs of a township ever being here, nor of the lake that used to reside behind Twilight’s castle.

I looked over to my friend who seemed just as puzzled as me. “What do you think happened in this timeline, Twi?”

“I only have one hypothesis, Mark, and I don’t want to stick around long enough to test it out,” she replied nervously.

“Spit it out, Sparkles. I’m a big pony now.”

“Here’s a hint then. What kind of world did we end up in after our first jump back to the present?”

I thought about it – Nightmare Moon had made the night eternal, depriving Equestria of the vital warmth of the sun. But what if the reverse was true? While the Celestia I had been taught to know had always been beneficent, if not a little self-absorbed when she was younger, what would happen if she was the one corrupted instead of Luna? Eternal day? I shuddered. Experience told me that it was all too possible.

“We don’t want to hang around if Nightmare Celestia reigns over this furnace,” I said fervently.

“I agree. The moment the map table has recharged, we leave.”

I nodded. Hovering here for the twenty odd minutes required wasn’t a strain, and I was sure that Twilight could maintain the shield for that long. It was the nervous wait that was causing me to sweat.

A quarter hour passed without incident before our luck ran out. There was a flare of light and then a brilliantly white alicorn with a flaming mane and tail stood nearby, staring intently at us with slit-pupiled golden eyes with umber sclera. Her mouth twisted in an unpleasant grin.

“We can’t believe it! We thought it was just another delusion like all the others, but it’s true. Ponies have returned to Equestria and an alicorn among them. Welcome to my domain! The domain of Queen Daybreaker.”

Daybreaker? I suppose that makes sense considering Luna’s corrupt form was named Nightmare Moon. At least we wouldn’t insult or provoke her by calling her Celestia.

Twilight replied, “We’re just passing through. A time portal spell dumped us here and we are preparing to return.”

The white alicorn’s face went slack. “Time travel? Time travel. Time travel! I never considered… Star Swirl …”

She mumbled to herself for several moments before her head jerked upwards to face us again. “Oh, but I insist that you stay. I haven’t had company in centuries!” She snarled the last word.

I shuddered. If she had been by herself for that long, there was no doubt that she had gone quite insane. Everything else must have died after the sun stopped setting and the heat became too great to sustain life. Unless you were the avatar of the sun itself, of course.

“We regret that we cannot stay, Your Majesty,” I said carefully. “Even if the heat doesn’t kill us, there’s no food to sustain us.”

“What do I care about your ephemeral lives? You will entertain me for as long as you survive, and I will make certain that you do for many days.”

I noticed that she said nothing about us enjoying it. She had even contradicted herself. We had to get away from this mad pony as soon as possible. I looked over to Twilight to suggest something, but by the expression on her face, I realized that she already knew how much trouble we were in.

“Stall for two more minutes,” she whispered to me.

Sure, but how? Logic certainly wasn’t going to work. So I fell back on trying to baffle her with bullshit.

“Queen Daybreaker, we are not here to amuse you but to confront you with your own failings!” I said sternly. Twilight gave me a ‘What the buck are you doing?’ look, but I continued on. “Your duty was to be warden of the sun for the benefit of the ponies of Equestria, but instead you chose to arrogantly wield your power for your own satisfaction. Instead of yielding the day to your sister’s night, you allowed the land to shrivel and burn, and your subjects to die. Daybreaker, I find you guilty of willfully committing genocide merely to satisfy your own ego!”

Not my best speech, but I was extemporizing under pressure. It did have the intended effect, although Twilight probably thought I’d gone crazy too. Daybreaker seemed to swell up and her mane grew brighter and hotter. It didn’t escape me that the strain on Twilight’s shield was increasing, and that was before whatever Daybreaker intended to do with her now-glowing horn.

“Who are you to accuse the Monarch of the Sun? Do I not rule by right of my power?!”

“Only one pony here has that right, mighty queen, and that is your true self!” With that, I ensured my body was facing her directly and transformed into full-maned Marklestia. “You have betrayed us!” I roared.

Crazy or not, the sight of seeing her uncorrupted self in front of her was more than enough to make her stop and gape in confusion. The glow on her horn cut out and she seemed to shrink in on herself. Her mouth and lips moved but no words came forth. I let her stew for as long as I dared before continuing.

“Instead of being the beloved ruler of a nation of ponies, you are a murderer with only ashes for company. Instead of having the love of family, you did away with your sister. Instead of Harmony, you brought Entropy. Queen Daybreaker, I condemn you to your just fate for what you did to us!”

Maybe I went too far, or perhaps she was getting over the shock of seeing her former self, but Daybreaker’s expression firmed. “Then you shall suffer my punishment with me, doppelganger!” Her horn lit up again.

“Hsst! The spell’s ready,” Twilight muttered.

“What are you waiting for?” I hissed back.

Twilight cast the spell and the temporal portal started to form.

“What are you doing?!” demanded Daybreaker.

“Enacting your sentence!” I replied as we were drawn up to the maw of the portal.

“NO! DON’T LEAVE ME A-L-L-O-o-n-n-e…”

Daybreaker’s voice abruptly terminated as we plunged into the vortex. I hated to leave the alicorn there with nothing but the memory of her crimes, but she was hopelessly insane and could have killed us at a whim, even if she regretted it later. This was one pony that we could not save. Would it be the same with Starlight Glimmer? I was beginning to fear that it would be so. But we had to at least try.

This time, when we returned to the future after another futile attempt to stop Starlight, I managed to almost fall flat on my face but broke my plummet just in time to save a bloody nose. As I dizzily tried to regain my footing, I heard a very familiar voice right beside me.

“Sweet Celestia! What happened to you?!”

I turned to find the source of my beloved Trixie’s voice and ended up staring at her from a few feet away and at eye level. That was very strange because I was standing on the map table and she was beside it. I looked down and realized that she was standing on just two legs – not hind legs – two very shapely humanlike but digitigrade legs. They still ended in hooves and they were still covered in her normal blue pelt which continued on to her torso with wide hips, narrow waist, and broad shoulders which had two very human arms terminating in hands. But from the neck up, she was still the pony that I knew with her cute muzzle and white mane. I just stared at the mare before me, utterly gobsmacked.

Trixie was not quite as tongue-tied. “My husband has been turned into an animal!” she wailed.

She rushed up to the map table and flung her arms around my neck and pulled me towards her, pressing me to her plush bosom. Did I forget to mention that she also had a pair of D-cup breasts? My muzzle was now firmly pushed into her cleavage and I was left torn between wanting to disabuse this Trixie of her misconceptions and motor-boating her boobs. As much as I had come to appreciate the sexiness of my fiancée’s pony form, I still had fond memories of one of my favorite human female features. And just to make it even more tempting, this Trixie was wearing exactly as much clothing as mine did, and I assure you that a cape doesn’t hide much up front.

Twilight spoke up then. “Trixie! That Mark Wells is not your husband! Give us a chance to explain.”

“What? You can still talk?” To my dismay, Trixie pushed me away from her sweet pillows to look at me closely. “Is that true?”

I nodded. “I’m afraid so, Lulu.” I used one of the nicknames that I only said in private and it seemed that I scored a hit with this Trixie Lulamoon too.

“Quark Tells – explain yourself!” she demanded.

“You’ve already used that version of my name.”

Trixie sputtered, counted on her fingers, then protested, “No, I haven’t!”

I smirked and said, “S-u-r-e! Anyway, short version – time travel and alternate universes.” I tapped the map table with my hoof. “This table is an anchor point between realities and we’re trying to get back to ours. Your Mark is probably in another right now. Your Twilight Sparkle too, if I’m guessing right.”

Trixie looked over to the alicorn as if seeing her for the first time, then back to me. “Trixie told you not to meddle with this strange artifact… the other you, that is. But no – you and Princess Twilight had to investigate it!”

“Sorry, Trixie, but that’s kind of my job…” I trailed off as I noticed other anthro ponies approaching, perhaps attracted by Trixie’s loud wails. I recognized each face. Every Ponyville citizen that I knew seemed to have a two-legged counterpart here, and every mare had a gorgeous figure with nothing less than C-cup breasts, all just as nude as Trixie. I suppose that having a full pelt was just as effective on a humanoid body as a four-legged one, but it was still extremely distracting. I was having a very hard time not getting aroused. Then along came something to quell my urges. A stallion.

And not just any stallion, but Big Macintosh – just as lacking in clothes aside from the ubiquitous yoke around his neck. What has been seen cannot be unseen; the stallion was an absolute specimen – everywhere. I looked away and saw that Twilight had noticed the burly stallion too. Her eyes had grown wide and her mouth gaped a little. I couldn’t blame her. Somehow, two-legged nakedness was a lot different from four-legged, even for someone who had never stood on two legs outside of Sunset Shimmer’s universe.

We were attracting quite a crowd and, for a while, we just stared at each other. A griffoness flew in for a landing to smirk at us. She was an anthro too and I was beginning to wonder if that was true of all the intelligent species here. I bet Zecora looked pretty exotic. I shook my head to clear that image and tried to focus on the situation. We had about a twenty-minute wait before the table would be ready to send us back to the past and it seemed we weren’t in any danger, so might as well entertain our audience in the meantime.

“Gather round, folks! Have we got a story to tell you!”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

This chapter was ready three days ago, but we held off publishing it until the problem with externally hosted images was fixed so that you could see the illustrations.

Daybreaker by Frownfactory. Background added by me.
Gobsmacked by Foxenawolf.

Before anyone says anything, I wish to announce that there will be just two more chapters in this arc. Bear with us – we have some fun stuff to come before we find out how it concludes.

Chapter 43 - Extremes

Once the curiosity of the Ponyville crowd had been satisfied, most of the ponies had dispersed to go about their normal business. Besides Trixie, that just left Big Mac, Shining Armor, and Cadance who had arrived right before I started my tale. Let me tell you that the Princess of Love is drop-dead gorgeous in anthro form. Not that I was paying particular attention to her right now as Trixie had flipped from being worried that her husband had become a feral pony, to being delighted to cuddle one. She was constantly stroking my fur and running her fingers through my mane, sending shivers of pleasure through me. Then there was the thing that she did by rubbing the heels of her palm on my withers that put anything that Aloe and Lotus could do to shame. It felt even better than being brushed! But best of all, my head was cradled on her ample chest while she was doing all of that. The goofy smile on my face caused Twilight to look at me funny, but a pony born and bred simply cannot understand the joy of boobs. Besides, she was having her own issues.

Big Mac had finished his chores for the day and took it upon himself to help Twilight relax by giving her a good rubdown. Every time she protested that her wings were too sensitive to be stroked, he would boop her on the nose with an index finger. After some confused blinking, she’d say “What just happened?” then go back to telling our story. I giggled every time – our Princess of Friendship had a built-in reset button. Shining tried to do the same to his wife but she quickly put an end to that with a sharp elbow.

After the recap, we were discussing ways of dealing with Starlight Glimmer. By now it was obvious that the unicorn was maintaining both a levitation spell and an invisibility spell when we arrived in the past, only dropping the latter when she was ready to make her move on Rainbow Dash. She was apparently moving at random so that we could not guess where she would be when she was forced to drop the mana-intensive invisibility spell to charge up for casting her attack.

Trixie spoke up. “So, you two need a foolproof way to surprise this Starlight Glimmer, correct? Have you forgotten Trixie’s Fourth Law of Showponyship?”

I blinked. That was new. Time to make a good guess. “Scout out at least two paths of escape?”

The blue mare frowned while Cadance and Shining Armor got in a good chuckle at her expense. I earned myself a stern rap on the top of my head for my remark. “No. I am referring to the written rules. ‘Establish an expectation in your audience then break it to bring the house down’.”

Trixie continued, “Why don’t you use the same tactics against her?”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“Invisibility is a two-edged weapon.”

“But if I use it to turn invisible, Starlight will realize what I’m up to and be even more cautious.”

Trixie gave her a knowing smirk. “Not if you misdirect her. Cast it on Mark instead before you go back to the past. Then, when you arrive, don’t bother trying to hunt Starlight. Put on an act and pretend that you’re crying. Your motivation is that you’ve lost Mark to whatever horrible future you just left. Wail and curse Starlight for causing Mark’s death. Meanwhile, Mark is scouting around for Starlight. You might not find her the first time, or the second or third, but eventually, she will appear close enough for Mark to make his move.”

Shining Armor nodded and looked at his sister. “That’s a sound strategy. As long as Starlight thinks that Mark has been eliminated, she will only be on guard against the visible threat. Unconsciously, Starlight will allow herself to be exposed to anypony behind her as long as she sees you in front, Twily.”

Twilight looked thoughtful. “That… could work.”

Trixie looked smug. “Of course it will! Misdirection is key to stage magic, and the Great and Powerful Trixie is the best there is!”

I said, “Let’s do it, Twi. It’s better than anything we’ve come up with up until now. Let’s also switch saddlebags. If Starlight is paying attention, that will be more evidence that I’m gone.” A virtual lightbulb went off in my head. “Hey! Even better. Let’s put your saddlebags inside of mine.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide and her head jerked back. She gave me one of those, “You’re kidding, right? ’Cause it’s not funny” laughs. “Mark, that converts the stored mass directly into energy. I really, really don’t want to reduce Ponyville to debris no larger than a toothpick.”

My ears flattened. Maybe not such a brilliant idea. That also explained why I didn’t see bags with this spell commonly in use across Equestria.

Twilight said, “We should switch saddlebags though. That’s a good suggestion. It will be safer for Nyx, too.” She turned back to Trixie and grimaced. “I’m not really much of an actor though.”

Trixie released her embrace of me, making me pout. She got up and approached the alicorn. “Come with Trixie, Princess. We are going to make the perfect stage assistant out of you.”

She started leading Twilight away and I jumped off the table to follow. Shining and Cadance walked on either side of me – the mare’s delicate fingers tousling my mane with occasional light scratches from her nails sending delightful tremors down my back.

Oh, hell yeah! Even if the acting lessons weren’t entertaining, I wasn’t going to complain either way.

Our ruse was put in motion when we returned to Cloudsdale, and while I don’t think Twilight would ever win any acting awards, I reckoned it was convincing enough.

I quickly understood the limitations of my invisible form. I could not get too close to clouds for fear of disturbing them with my wingbeats. I couldn’t fly too quickly for the same reason. I had to avoid all the other flyers and try to keep Twilight in view as much as possible so we would not be duplicating our searches. Add to that Starlight’s ability to stop a speeding Rainbow Dash in midair from even a mile away, and I had a huge bubble of space to survey. The only advantages I had were that Starlight had never returned to the same location twice and that she more often than not appeared somewhere roughly on the opposite side of where Twilight or I had been at the time she launched her spell at Rainbow Dash.

As Trixie had predicted, I was nowhere near Starlight when she made her appearance. Hopefully, she wasn’t fully on the alert for anyone besides the tear-stained alicorn who was scanning the skies for her. No matter – I was counting on the odds eventually catching up to Starlight and she would get careless – or I would get lucky.

When we landed in whatever alternate future the portal had taken us to this time, the invisibility spell had failed. Twilight had warned me that the temporal vortex could destabilize it, and apparently, it couldn’t survive a second trip. It would have to be re-cast. Hopefully I wouldn’t need it for the moment. At least I retained my pegacorn form. Looking about, it was immediately obvious that this was not the Ponyville that we knew. There were very few houses of the type that ponies would use. Instead, towering structures with perches dominated the landscape, several of them occupied by griffons. There were a few ponies about but they were all wearing collars and chains. I only had a moment to observe this because my attention was immediately drawn by a gruff screech from my left.

“Halt, ponies! You are under arrest!”

Twilight and I immediately shifted to defensive mode, powering up our horns. The source of the command proved to be a huge griffon warrior in full armor standing nearby. He had leveled a sword in our direction.

Twilight said, “What is the meaning of this? We have done nothing wrong.”

The griffon looked at us as if we were crazy. “No slaves may travel without their bonds and in the presence of their masters. That is the law of the Griffonian Protectorate of Equestria. Now – get down from that table and present your necks or forfeit your lives for your crimes!”

I glanced at Twilight who seemed to be thinking the same thing as me – we had big trouble! It appeared that this world had been conquered by the griffons and we faced either slavery or death. Then again, he didn’t know us too well.

“No, thanks,” I replied. “We’ve got better things to do today.”

I had to hand it to the warrior – he didn’t hesitate or try to threaten us more. No, he went straight into a murderous rage. Fortunately, Twilight was on the job and the griffon bounced off her protective shield. I tensed my body but held my power in reserve as I knew no mere physical attack was going to get through her defenses in a hurry.

The warrior backed off and glared at us for a long moment before letting off a series of screeches. Answering calls came from the village and soon after, a squad of griffons flew in to land beside the warrior. One of them had fancier armor and looked to be in charge, an assessment that he quickly confirmed.

“Report, Ripclaw!” he commanded while keeping his eyes on us.

“Sir! These two ponies fell from the sky moments ago and landed on the artifact that I am assigned to watch. Said ponies refused to comply with my orders, upon which I attempted to kill them as per standard procedure. The shield that you now see prevented me from carrying out my duties.”

The commander nodded and turned to a female griffon in his squad. “Return to base and requisition the spell-breaker.”

“Yes, sir!”

A spell-breaker? That sounded very bad for us. These were an enemy that had conquered a nation of magical ponies and obviously had some form of means of dealing with unicorns. I didn’t hesitate to zap that griffoness with a stun spell before she had flown more than a few yards.

“Scatter and shield!” ordered the squad leader. “Ripclaw – get the spell-breaker!”

The warriors spread out, each activating an energy shield on their left foreleg in front of them which fanned out to nearly the height of a griffon. Ripclaw took off and flew towards Ponyville, also raising a shield which he kept between me and him. I fired a burst at him anyway, but his barrier easily withstood the attack. I had to up the ante. I’d only stunned the griffoness because we just needed to buy time before leaving this world, but we might not get that chance if the griffons brought a weapon that could neutralize our magic.

“Sorry about this bud, but you leave me no choice,” I murmured.

I gave him my power shot. The might of my unrestrained mana release was capable of burning through any magic barrier within the three seconds it lasted before I was exhausted. It only needed one. Then there was a jagged hole in the shield and a similar one through the chest of the shocked griffon behind it. He fell to the ground and lay unmoving. I hadn’t intended to kill him – I had seriously overestimated the shield’s capabilities and used too much power in my haste. Unfortunately, the squad commander took advantage of my distress and hesitation to pull off a tactical retreat. As they spiraled away from us, I recovered quickly enough to try stunning more griffons with Twilight’s help, but the lighter spells were ineffective against the shields. They would certainly be back though and with overwhelming force next time. My hooves were shaking; I didn’t know if it was from adrenaline or from what I had just done. I turned to look at Twilight and her facial expression was ashen.

“Twi – I didn’t mean to kill Ripclaw—”

She held up a hoof to stop me and she shook her head. “Don’t, Mark. I know. I hate it but I understand. I may be the Princess of Friendship, but Princess Celestia taught me what happened in Equestria’s past when friendship failed. I had hoped to never see it occur again after Tirek, and I regret that this had to happen to you. Neither of us are warriors, but we are fighting a battle anyway.”

“I’m going to need a lot of therapy when we get through this.”

“If we get through this. There are still several minutes to go before the map table is fully charged. If the griffons get back here with that spell-breaker of theirs before it’s ready, we could be in huge trouble. If they conquered Equestria, they would have had to defeat Celestia at least, and if they have a weapon effective against alicorns, neither of us are going to be able to hold out against them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured before I zapped the griffons. Could we turn invisible and hide outside of town for a while? Then fly back here when we know the map table has recharged?”

Twilight shook her head. “There’s too much risk that the griffons will find a way to move or shield the map table so we can’t get back to it. It’s the logical thing for them to do and we also don’t know their tracking capabilities. They may even have something like the nullstone band but improved to not have its deficiencies.” She looked nervously in the direction that the griffons had fled. “As a last resort, I can teleport us to the Castle of the Two Sisters. Let’s hope that any piece of equipment powerful enough to take down an alicorn isn’t easy or fast to move.”

“Amen to that,” I murmured fervently.

That was the worst wait of my life – even more nerve-wracking than waiting to see if Daybreaker turned up. With a few minutes to go, we both groaned as we spotted a team of four earth ponies pulling a large cart. They were being whipped into great speed and headed in our direction, the spell-breaker undoubtedly their cargo.

“We have to stop them, Twilight.”

“I… I don’t know if I can fire on innocent ponies, Mark.”

“Stun one and the others will be tangled up with him when he falls!”

“I can’t do it!” she wailed.

I gritted my teeth. Twilight might know academically what needed to be done, but she wasn’t really a fighter. As much as I detested it, that was my job. I faced the cart and checked my power level with my fetlock band that I had pulled out of my saddlebags earlier. It was low after my attacks on the squad – once more showing how inferior a souped-up pegacorn was to a real alicorn. It would have to do. I took aim at one of the lead ponies and fired… only to have my beam blocked by a griffon leaping between us with his shield. I cursed myself. I had used too little power because I hadn’t wanted to harm the pony either, and now I had almost depleted myself without achieving anything. My remaining power would not be strong enough to get through their defenses.

Then it occurred to me that I didn’t have to – I only had to stop the cart. But it had to get nearer as my range was limited as yet. I sweated as the cart drew close before casting my levitation spell on a rock by the side of the road. It flew into one of the front wheels, shattering it. The unbalanced load on the cart caused it to lean and the corner without support sank until it dug into the ground, making it twist and then flip. The earth ponies were pulled off their hooves but were unharmed, hopefully. I had to hand it to the griffons – they worked hard to get the spell-breaker off the overturned cart even while Twilight peppered them with stun shots, scoring an occasional hit. It appeared to be some sort of scaffolding about six feet tall that held a battering ram, and it was armored with a material that looked suspiciously like nullstone. An attempt by me to grab it proved my supposition correct as my magic seemed to just slide off. The weapon was on skids and the griffons pushed it towards us in slow but steady progress. A solid layer of griffons and their shields surrounded the device, some flying overhead to protect it from above.

The ram reached Twilight’s barrier and the griffons pulled it back and released it to slam against the magic wall. It shattered, making Twilight stagger. I felt a spike of fear, remembering how breaking my own shield spell had crippled my magic casting ability. True alicorns, it seemed, were made of sterner stuff. Twilight quickly recovered and threw smaller personal shields around the two of us so that we remained safe from more conventional weapons. The ram was too cumbersome to hit us as we moved about the map table, but the griffons could now approach us closely and I had no doubt that they had other weapons at their disposal.

Twilight dropped all her attacks that had been keeping the warriors at bay and focused only on maintaining the shields while casting the invisibility spell on me. I think the griffons thought that I had teleported away because they focused all their efforts on Twilight from then on. They were closing in on her when the alicorn activated the map table. I used the dregs of my magical reserves to protect Twilight’s back before we were both swept up into the vortex once more.

Both Twilight and I were physically, mentally, and magically drained when we were dumped into Cloudsdale. I latched onto a ley line to at least get some of my magic reserves restored. By now, I knew exactly where Rainbow Dash would be every single moment before Starlight interfered in some manner. I put myself in places far away from anywhere Starlight had been before, moving my positions as I followed Rainbow through the sky. Also, I tried to stay on the opposite side of where I knew Twilight would be.

A spell blast coming from over my shoulder hit Rainbow Dash at the starting line. I turned around to see the aftermath of Starlight Glimmer teleporting away from the cloud behind me. As I was pulled towards the time portal, I realized the unicorn hadn’t seen me, but that was a closer call than I would have preferred.

When we returned from the past, Twilight had a multi-purpose shield ready even as we exited the portal and landed on the map table. I changed to my normal stallion form while I built up my power levels again. It wasn’t as fast as tapping a ley line, but I preferred to keep my Marklestia alter ego as a secret weapon if needed. An underpowered, single-shot-at-best secret weapon, but those were the cards I was holding right then, so it would have to be enough. A quick appraising glance around didn’t reveal any threats, so I relaxed a little. From what I could see, this was a fairly normal idyllic day in Ponyville, if there truly was such a thing as ‘normal’ when it came to this town. Ponies were going about their business just like any other day. There were no signs of griffons or any other sapient creature, and there was nothing obviously wrong.

“Looks like we’re safe for the moment, Twi,” I said.

She nodded and powered down her shield. “I think somepony has noticed our arrival though.”

I looked in the direction that she was pointing. A mint-green stallion was headed our way and I heard him calling out to some other pony. His voice sounded oddly familiar although I didn’t recall a male unicorn of that coloration. He trotted up to the table and an earth pony stallion was not far behind. Actually, now that I had a good look, there were far more stallions than mares within view – a highly unusual circumstance for anywhere in this gender-skewed country.

“Mark! Twilight! What happened to you?” the unicorn asked, gaping in shock.

I was about to answer when Twilight spoke up in a puzzled tone.

“Lyra?”

I blinked and looked a little harder at the unicorn. Same golden lyre cutie mark, and his voice was an octave lower than the mare I knew. I looked over to the earth pony stallion approaching – light grey coat, dark grey mane, and a violet treble clef cutie mark. Lyra’s fellow musician, Octavia, if she was male.

The two had started a trend. More and more ponies were being drawn to the activity at the map table while Twilight and I could only stare dumbfounded. A light brown mare with a spiky dark brown mane, an hourglass mark, and wearing a bow tie had to be Doctor Whooves. A grey coated stallion with a blond mane and skewed eyes was the local mail-pony. A large yoke-wearing red mare with an apple cutie mark who ambled up had to be Big Mac. Then a pink alicorn stallion arrived accompanied by a white unicorn mare with two-tone blue mane and tail. Their cutie marks confirmed that these were Cadance and Shining Armor. Right then, I started praying.

“Please, oh please, don’t let there be—” I was interrupted by a distraught blue stallion with a white mane.

“What has happened to Trixie’s beautiful mare?!”

I groaned and face-hoofed. “Why me, God?”

As awkward as the transgendered world was for us, it was nevertheless a safe place to rest and recoup our energy. Naturally, we didn’t want to stay any longer than necessary, but we filled the time by making the usual explanations. If nothing else, Twilight and I were getting very efficient at telling our tale to new versions of our friends. We also were treated to some decent food. One constant in every dimension was that Spike was a great chef—although Twilight had to get used to her little brother now being a sister.

Oh – and I took a couple of photos of Cadance and Shiny. I wanted to find out which would make our Shining Armor gag more – this one of him as a mare or him hugging Chrysalis. I did not ask if Shiny was pregnant or had a foal already. That would be too much information for both Twilight and me, I reckoned.

Cadance, Trixie, and I engaged in some male bonding time, though I couldn’t help but be slightly weirded out by the surreal air to the whole conversation. It ended with Cadance teleporting away, only to return with a white paper bag held proudly before him. As I watched, the grease stain at the bottom spread out at a speed easily seen with the naked eye. Cadance grinned. “One Hayburger Deluxe Fried Fish Combo Meal with an extra-large order of waffle fries. Their shake machine is broken again, so they dumped in more fries to make up for it.”

This was pretty darn cool; two menu items from back home I never realized I missed so much. Gently, I took the bag and placed it in my right saddlebag, trying to do so before the bottom of the bag gave up its losing battle and dissolved. I had to swallow my saliva before I could even think of speaking. “Cadance, this is fantastic! Our Hayburger is just as unhealthy but doesn’t have this kind of selection.” I smiled wickedly at Twilight. “Now I just have to convince her not to steal my sandwich.”

Twilight shook her head and doubled down by waving both forehooves back in forth to get her point across. “No. No. Absolutely not! I will never, ever, ever eat fish. I want absolutely nothing to do with that bag. If you want it, you carry it.”

“So you think,” Shining Armor said then turned back to me. “Next time she takes a nap, wave the deliciousness under her nose and see if her mouth waters. In fact, I’ll bet ten bits to your one that she scarfs it down without bothering to wake up.”

As Twilight turned away and covered her mouth, I said, “Sure. I’ll take that bet.” Shining Armor let out a delighted laugh when she heard her ‘sister’ gag. I suppose some aspects of sibling relationships never changed, regardless of the dimension.

From behind me, I heard, “Can’t keep from teasing any ‘me’ you find, can you?”

Turning around, I snorted with amusement at the sight of a male Twilight Sparkle standing in the doorway and glaring good-naturedly at his sister. My Twilight’s eyes threatened to pop out of her head as she stared at her transgendered other self. That set off another round of giggles from the white mare.

Prince Cadance asked, “Where’s Mark?” Then, after glancing at me, he added, “Our Mark, that is.”

Stallion Twilight switched his gaze to me and regarded me with great interest. “Trixie was waiting and pounced on her the moment we came back. She kept protesting that Trixie was being overprotective but he whisked her back to Canterlot anyway. My co-ruler does dote on his wife a little too much, but I can’t deny how much he loves her. Anyway, it was up to Lyra, of all stallions, to fill me in on our transgendered visitors. I hope they can elucidate me on what is happening.”

I noted that, yet again, the local Trixie and Mark were already married. When we got back to our world, I was going to insist on bringing forward the wedding day. Well… as much as a stallion has a say in such matters. If it was good enough for our counterparts, it was good enough for us! But for now, I had to wait. Meanwhile, I had an explanation to give yet again while my Twilight’s mind reset.

After our mana levels were fully topped up, it was time to make our farewells and we headed off to the past once more.

After another failed attempt to locate Starlight Glimmer, the next alternate world seemed as totally normal as the last but still lacked Twilight’s castle. As was my norm for dimensions that didn’t present an immediate threat, I switched to my pegasus form shortly after landing on the map table. Twilight decided to be more cautious, keeping a hemispherical shield over the table and ourselves. Our exit from the portal attracted the attention of a nearby pony who came over to investigate. Abruptly, she stopped and stared at me. Usually, it was Twilight and her wings that were considered fascinating, but this mare’s eyes were practically popping out of her head while she gaped at me in astonishment. I was beginning to get a little nervous and confused when she started squealing.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! IT’S A STALLION!”

I had no idea why being male was so remarkable, but it didn’t escape my notice that several other mares within earshot suddenly stopped what they were doing and started galloping our way. To my astonishment, first one spatial portal then another opened nearby, each disgorging more ponies. Paying closer attention, I saw that a wooden pole was placed in the ground by an arriving mare before a new portal opened in the same location. Each stake was the height of a pony and was topped by something that glowed with an iridescent spray of colors before being replaced by a swirling mass of gray and white. In next to no time, the map table was surrounded by a throng of ponies. Some were reaching out for me but bumping up against the force field that Twilight had kept up. I glanced at her with an eyebrow raised, but she just shrugged helplessly, obviously just as baffled as me. Meanwhile, some of the mares closest to the table had started begging me to come join them. This was getting ridiculous. I stood up on my hind legs and waved my forelegs, motioning for them to be quiet. Eventually, they calmed down enough for me to attempt to find out what the heck was going on.

“Okay, ladies – Twilight and I have been jumping between alternate worlds and this is another new one for us, so we don’t know what’s happening here. So, why in Celestia’s name are you all desperate to get your hooves on me?”

The silence was deafening. All talking and even movement had stopped the moment I started to speak. When I finished, each mare stared at me blankly. If I had been the ghost of a long lost friend, come to speak to a loved one again, this is the kind of shocked reaction I would have expected. A sense of unease started to crawl up my back to join the bewilderment in my head. A familiar tan-colored pony with a greying mane and tail pushed forward through the crowd. I recognized the mayor of Ponyville and hoped that I would get a calm and concise answer from her.

“Young stallion – are you telling us that Princess Twilight Sparkle did not bring you back with her to alleviate our problem?”

Now I was even more confused. “I don’t know what problem you’re talking about, and this isn’t even your Twilight. As I said, we’ve been travelling back and forth through this portal and coming to different worlds. We’ve never been to this one before. What’s so special about me that has you mares so excited?”

The old mare chuckled. “Us mares? Haven’t you noticed the total absence of stallions here?”

I looked around and beyond the still-growing crowd of ponies around us. Not a single stallion among them, nor any within eyesight, and pegasus distance vision is excellent. “Where are they?”

“They’re all gone!” shouted one mare.

“Gone where?” I asked.

“She means that they’re all deceased,” the mayor gravely replied.

I reeled in shock. “All the stallions are dead? What happened?”

“A few years back, an epidemic of a previously unknown disease, probably brought from overseas, raged through the population. While everypony got sick, it was fatal to males. After the disease finished ravaging our nation, over 98% of all male ponies – foals and adults alike – were dead. Of those remaining, many were too young or too old for any sort of intimate relationship. To put it bluntly, the mares of Equestria need virile stallions.”

I gulped. As much as I enjoyed sex, to be regarded by so many mares as a stud stallion was more than a little daunting. Now I understood the hungry looks of the mares around me. While not every one of them was looking for a relationship right now, they all knew that getting access to a stallion in the future was going to be extremely difficult, so they wanted to take advantage of this golden opportunity while it lasted. Unfortunately, they didn’t take into account that I had no desire to participate in a mass breeding program.

And of course, that’s when the guilt hit me. Without males, the pony population couldn’t survive. They were desperate and I had what they needed. It would be very selfish of me not to help them out. I didn’t even have the excuse that this was an altered history. No – this was a different universe which had a problem that would not go away when I left. I felt like a jerk just considering telling them no.

But as I was trying to wrap my head around the quandary, the universe threw another wrench in the gears.

“Dowser?! But I watched you die in my hooves!”

I looked towards the sound of the familiar voice and saw a blue unicorn pushing her way through the crowd. The crown on her head fell off as she surged forward but from the look on her face, I doubt she noticed or cared. Moments later, Trixie was pressed up against the shield and staring up at me with tears in her eyes.

“Trixie doesn’t know how her husband came back from the afterlife, but Trixie longs to hug you and never let you go again!”

I gaped at the visage of my fiancée and gulped. What was I going to do now?

Twilight settled the matter for me. “I cannot lower the shield and you all know it. Do you really want him to die from the same disease that devastated your population? All of you are probably carriers. Mark, take your other form.”

That made more than a little sense. I changed to my long-haired Celestia form and was greeted with an equal amount of gasps of astonishment and groans of disappointment. Well, I guess you can’t please everypony.

I turned 360 degrees to better display my cutie mark to everyone. “I’m still Mark Wells. It’s a long story, but this is my alternate form.”

The field around the table shimmered slightly and everything took on a familiar lavender tint. I looked over to see a very stern Twilight Sparkle now covered with a glowing shimmer of magic. Holding out a foreleg, I saw the same effect had been placed on me. My friend had put up personal shields again, obviously as an extra precaution.

Trixie waved a hoof to get Twilight’s attention. “We are thoroughly aware of how the disease progressed. It required six months and the efforts of thousands, but we have a vaccine that has proven effective in the few instances when a reclusive male was found before the disease burned itself out. Every pony, hippogriff, seapony, and zebra on Equus has been treated three times with the vaccine and scanned to ensure no trace remains.”

“Wait! Seapony?” Twilight blurted out.

Trixie nodded. “Indeed. Equestria has had amicable relations with Queen Novo’s kingdom for centuries.”

Well, that settled that. Definitely a different reality and not an alternate timeline.

The blue unicorn tapped her horn. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, if you would allow Trixie?”

My friend remained stock still for several moments as she doubtless weighed the probabilities in her head. Eventually, she dropped the shield covering the table. Trixie nodded in acknowledgement, then scanned first Twilight, then myself with a wide beam of magic. “Now your stallion form.”

After getting concurrence from Twilight, I changed back. Trixie swallowed and repeated the scan. “Clean.”

A white earth pony mare with a light pink mane done up in a bun climbed up onto the map table. From her red cross cutie mark which matched the symbol on her hat, I recognized Nurse Redheart. She pulled a case from her saddlebags and held it out on her forehoof. “Inject in your flank, just above your cutie mark. The vaccine needs about eighteen hours to take full effect.”

Twilight levitated the case in her magic and opened it. Inside, two rows of five hypodermic needles were held securely in place by a pair of straps around each. She broke the stasis field surrounding two of the needles and floated them closer. A pale green liquid was visible in the clear barrel of the syringe. “May I have a copy of the research describing the disease and the vaccine, please?”

Trixie closed her eyes and three thin books and a pair of scrolls popped into existence next to her. Teleporting in specific items all the way from Canterlot? This unicorn was a far superior spellcaster compared to my Trixie.

Twilight injected both of us with the vaccine, returned the hypodermic needles to their case and addressed Nurse Redheart. “May we keep these samples?”

“Of course. I’ll prepare as many needles or vaccine reservoirs as you like. If you’ll excuse me.” The nurse stepped down from the table and pushed her way through the crowd, eventually disappearing into one of the portals, which I had to assume led to the Ponyville Hospital. I turned to look at Twilight to ask her opinion of the ubiquitous gateways, but she was poring over the scrolls and books, taking notes on two of her own scrolls as she cross-referenced. I had to smile. Once again, protected from the outside world by a wall of paper.

Trixie climbed onto the table and lied down next to me. She turned her gaze upon the throng and said, “While no doubt that many a mare here would give their right foreleg to bed Trixie’s husband right this moment, the Great and Possessive Princess Trixie would like to remind them that Equestria has a perfectly good semen bank program.”

I sighed with some relief. While being a sperm donor had never been high on my list of things to do, that had been a totally acceptable alternative for mares in my home universe who wanted foals without a stallion partner. It was also a guilt-free way of siring foals without being responsible for raising them. No doubt, some of the mares here wanted a little more than a child though. Judging by the salacious looks in the eyes of a couple of them, a roll in the hay was their prime desire. After being without a male for years, I can’t say that I blamed them – not that I had any intention whatsoever of satisfying that itch. Although, as my gaze slid back to Princess Trixie, I wondered if I was going to have to make an exception to that. Despite apparently understanding that I was from another universe, she still referred to me as her husband. I saw in her everything that I loved in my fiancée and it broke my heart to think that she lost this world’s version of me.

“E-Excuse me, Mark Wells?” I looked down to see Cloud Kicker at the edge of the table. “Would you mind just… talking some more?” I saw rapid nods and expectant smiles from the crowd in front of me. They pressed up even closer, pricking their ears forward.

My stomach felt like it dropped all the way through the table. Oh, wow. These mares were so beside themselves with loneliness that just the sound of a stallion’s voice would make their day… maybe their whole year. There was no way I was going to deny them that. Besides, Twilight and I had to take every possible precaution not to unwittingly take the disease with us from this dimension. I settled down next to Trixie, reflecting again how in this reality, they had gotten married. Indeed, a familiar ring graced her horn, but it was made in gold rather than aluminum. She followed my gaze and smiled, encouraging me with a nod.

I turned back to the eager crowd. “Well, my story really began when I started working for the counterpart to your Princess Trixie…”

It was early evening before I reached the part where Twilight and I exited the portal into the current world. I didn’t tell them about my other-worldly origins, but I did change to my Marklestia form for the appropriate sections of my tale. I don’t think any of the mares would have left during those hours if Trixie hadn’t decreed a couple of breaks so everypony could grab some dinner and take care of other necessities.

After I brought everypony up to the point where Twilight and I arrived here, the blue mare declared the presentation over and put up a bubble of silence around the two of us. A tapping sound coming from the table brought our attention back to Twilight, who was frowning at Trixie. The unicorn smiled sheepishly and dropped the barrier then reformed it – this time covering the entire table. With a nod, Twilight resumed her work on the books and scrolls floating around her.

Trixie made sure to speak loudly enough for Twilight to hear our conversation. “Trixie was – I was mistaken. You are not the same pony as the stallion I married. Perhaps you started out much the same, but the events in your life have sculpted you into someone else.” She winked. “Now I just have to decide whether I love you even more now.”

I rolled my eyes but matched her smile. “You’ve heard my story. When did everything take a different turn with me in this reality?”

“Well, you were friends with the Elements of Harmony, but not to the same extent. My Mark never tried eating poison joke, which appeared to precipitate the majority of your bonding experiences, including you gaining your alternate form. We had to find our own ways to stop threats to Equestria. For example, when Tirek escaped Tartarus, high altitude weather ponies kept him slowed down with hail and torrential rain. Using our portals, we evacuated everypony within a fifty-mile radius of him. By the time he struggled into a deserted Baltimare, three weeks had passed and he proved equine enough to die from the plague. Good riddance.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. I also was a bit shocked at Trixie’s callousness regarding the centaur’s death, but the alicorn recovered first. “Could you tell me about those portals?”

“Ah. You don’t have them, do you? That’s not a surprise as you don’t have a trading relationship with the seaponies in your world… assuming they exist in your reality. Tell me, Princess. Do you remember from the Advanced Thaumaturgic Media class how pure calcite crystals can carry spatial magic spells over a short distance before the thaumatic flux loss becomes untenable?”

“Yes. The dimensional attenuation factor is 0.08, I think. Still, it’s the best material available.”

Trixie shook her head. “It’s 0.076, but the point is the same – only useful for specialized applications where you just need a small amount of magic at the other end of the crystal.” This version of my fiancée reinforced what I had seen earlier. She was a scholar of magic and obviously a powerful mage in her own right. “Now consider the abyssal deeps of the Celestial Sea. Most predators swallow their prey whole. The daggertooth fish has developed a unique counter-strategy: it generates an extremely weak spatial magic field and uses it to teleport back into the ocean, even overcoming the inertia of displacing highly compressed water to do so. Seaponies collect their iridescent scales for decoration, but can you guess what we found when we tested them for magical resonance?”

Twilight frowned and shrugged.

“The attenuation factor is seven. On the flawless scales of the largest and oldest fish, we’ve measured them to be as high as twenty-two.”

I had to wait out Twilight’s gaping look of disbelief. Briefly, I wished I had paid more attention to the chalkboard lectures. “A single scale is an amplifier?!”

The blue mare grinned. “I know what you’re thinking: Can power be amplified twice in succession? Or many times? The answer is no. Also, the scales are single use only. It’s a trivial matter to construct a portal between two of them that lasts no longer than two hours. After that, the scale has to be replaced. Good thing we get them by the bushel.”

Twilight blinked rapidly. “Ummm… could we get a few samples of the portals and the scales?”

“Of course. I’ll get you a copy of the spells we place on the teleportation poles as well. But back to our story.” Trixie turned to look at me again. “Our romance started almost right away, soon after I banished Flim and Flam to the Mustang Archipelago. We were married the week after I invited Twilight Sparkle to join me as co-regent of Equestria.” Trixie craned her neck backward and raised her voice. “Which my Twilight graciously accepted, by the way.” Twilight’s ears flicked a few times and she made a big show about only paying attention to the papers she was levitating in front of her.

Trixie looked back at me with a mischievous smile, only for it to fade away. “The plague hit Manehattan right after we returned from our honeymoon. Within a few days, quarantine zones were put in place all over Equestria, but it was not enough. In just three weeks, almost every stallion in Equestria was infected. The notable exceptions were stallions who had contracted Hemiplegic Fever when exploring the Zebrican Coast or other tropical locales. That was the clue we needed to hone in on the vaccine that taught the body how to fight the infection.” She lowered her head and paused. I covered her back with my wing, even if the gesture was muted by the field that surrounded me. Suddenly, the field winked out and my wing settled on Trixie’s back.

I looked up questioningly at Twilight. She said, “From what I’ve read, I’m confident the threat is minimal to non-existent. We will still need to stay the full eighteen hours, however.”

Trixie gave a weak smile at me and sighed before continuing. “Tragically, by then it was too late. We harvested as much sperm as we could, but despite what I told the mares earlier, our scientists are very concerned about a lack of genetic variability leading to inbreeding. Because of cultural norms, very few mares want to go through with the insemination procedure, even with the seed of their former spouse.” She winced and her ears drooped. “The r-rate of s-successful impregnation is low. The entire sample is sometimes used up without yielding a foal.”

I felt a wave of sympathy for this world’s Trixie. No doubt, she had tried to set an example for her subjects.

She continued. “There is only one thestral stallion left, and I understand seapony losses were nearly as bad as ours. I am very concerned about the future of our world. My scientists expect pony society will likely shrink to a tenth its current size unless we find a solution. To make things worse, Diamond Dogs attacked Canterlot soon after they heard of the Royal Sisters’ disappearance. They were decisively routed, but not before they collapsed the West Wing of Canterlot Castle destroying all the mirror portals. Without that avenue to get help, Princess Twilight Sparkle volunteered to try to reach other realities with the cutie mark table. Three days ago, she was sucked into a portal and I’ve been waiting for word since then.”

I lowered my head. This was a problem far beyond my magical pay-grade. Even thinking back to the technology available back on Earth, I didn’t see any viable solutions. I looked up. “Twilight, any ideas?”

The blizzard of paper now rested on the table and her quills and one ballpoint pen sat idle. If she wasn’t even working through the probabilities of wild ideas, that was a bad sign. “Nothing I can think of Mark. Equestrian magic can’t change the gender of a pony from a mare to a stallion. The genetic information just isn’t there.”

Alright then – time to think sideways. “Could their Twilight be on the right track? How difficult would it be to bring stallions in from another reality?”

“Not practical. We’ve seen how unpredictable the results are. There is no way to target an alternate reality because that was never intended as part of the spell’s design. The only degree of predictability we have is where and when it dumps us out in the past.

I tapped my forehoof on the map table as I wracked my brains. No, I would not call it the ‘cutie mark table’. “What about a second time-travel spell? Could we make a link to their past and pull ponies through or pass the vaccine to them there?”

Trixie shook her head. “No, Mark. The best that could be done is to branch off another time stream – an alternate future that we could not access. More than likely, you’d just end up unwittingly causing exactly what you were trying to avoid.”

Twilight groused. “As I found out the hard way. Creating a mirror portal wouldn’t work either. It can only be created between independent realities, not alternate futures.”

I said, “OK, what’s the easiest way to set up a mirror portal between realities?”

“Oh, like the gender-swap world? Unfortunately, that would require a mirror made in this reality passed over there and vice-versa. Then the linking spell is trivial for alicorn-level magic. Add in a triggering amulet on either side and you’re done.” Twilight stroked her chin thoughtfully. “We could set up a temporary portal if we possessed something of sufficient mass that has the unique quantum resonance of that dimension.”

I started to smile. Trixie looked between the two of us. “What? You have something from a dimension with an excess of stallions?”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. She ruffled her wings and looked down at the table. “Ummm… Mark. Would you pass me the bag, please?”

I played dumb. “What bag would that be, Twilight?”

I could hear her grind her teeth while Trixie looked between us with a furrowed brow. “The bag with all the greasy fries.”

I chuckled, enjoying myself perhaps a bit too much. “I’m still not entirely sure which bag you mean. Could you be more specific?”

The purple alicorn facehoofed and sighed. Her wings drooped in defeat. “I want the bag with the barbaric fish sandwich.”

“Why, of course, Twilight. Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

Her answering growl made me laugh.

Trixie spoke up. “I don’t follow. What do Mark’s carnivorous inclinations have to do with anything?”

I smiled. “I hope the mares here don’t mind greasy food, Trixie. Because Twilight and I know a Hayburger that might just become the most popular restaurant in any Equestria.”

Twilight and Trixie stayed more than busy opening the initial portal, contacting the gender-swapped Twilight Sparkle (took longer than expected to convince him to enter the Hayburger mare’s room where the bathroom mirror was doing something it was never designed for), passing a trio of mirrors through the portal in both directions, linking the mirrors at the pre-arranged time, and setting up precautionary quarantine and testing areas on both sides. At the end of eighteen hours, Trixie proudly announced to the mares of Ponyville that when the spring heat rolled around in a couple of months, there would likely be a large influx of willing stallions coming to their Equestria on ‘vacation.’

Afterward, we took a very much deserved nap… well, Twilight did. Trixie made a heartfelt request that appealed to my logical and emotional sides... and perhaps other parts of me as well. Fate had given her one more chance to carry the legacy of her beloved within her. When she knelt before me to beg for that chance… well, I simply could not find it within myself to refuse. I had to hope that my Trixie would be understanding. Given the tragic circumstances, I thought my chances of survival were at least fifty-fifty.

Given the same situation, would I do it again?

Oh, hell yeah.

After another failed effort by my invisible self to find Starlight Glimmer, Twilight and I exited the portal. We seemed to have ended up in a classic pastoral scene this time. There were no structures whatsoever aside from the map table which was incongruously sitting in the middle of a wild pasture. I could see maybe half a dozen ponies scattered around, all quietly grazing on the sweet grass and dandelions. That set off alarm bells in my head. Ponies simply didn’t graze – they harvested grass and hay. Most of the time they preferred vegetables and cereals that were properly prepared. To them, pushing their snouts to the ground and feeding on the grass directly was the equivalent of humans trying to eat meat raw and with just their teeth. It was very uncivilized at best, feral at worst. Scanning the group, I saw they were all adults – most of them earth ponies with a couple of unicorns thrown in.

I looked at Twilight and I could see that she was just as confused as me. I decided to investigate.

“Keep your eyes open, Sparkles – I’m going to go talk with the locals.

“Be careful, Mark. Dangers aren’t always obvious.”

I certainly hadn’t forgotten that, but I still took her words to heart. I switched to my pegasus form, hopped off the table and slowly made my way over to the nearest pony. It was an orange-coated earth pony mare with an unkempt blond mane. She could have been Applejack if her hair and tail were tied in ponytails and she wore a hat.

I said, “Pardon me, but can I ask you a couple of questions?”

The mare snorted and trotted away from me before resuming her grazing.

“I’ll take that as a no.” I moved on to the next nearest – another earth pony mare, this time pink with a two-tone purple mane. I repeated my question. She whinnied and drew back from me, then stood staring at me with fearful eyes. I hurried away from her and looked around. “Third times the charm,” I murmured and headed towards a black unicorn stallion. I didn’t even get the chance to talk this time.

The stallion snorted angrily and lowered his horn. Then he lunged at me while his horn started to spark. I took off into the air, dreading a magic attack, but the stallion merely glared and stamped the ground before heading back towards the mares I’d approached. Then I noticed something that I really should have seen immediately. None of them had cutie marks! From my aerial vantage point, I could see that the other ponies all lacked them as well. One stallion and a handful of mares… Damn! I was a strange male butting into another stallion’s herd! These were just animals!

I flew back to Twilight who looked at me with some concern.

“Did that stallion just attack you for no reason?”

I grimaced. “I suppose he had his reasons considering the circumstances. Twi – these ponies are non-sapient!”

Twilight stared in shock at the locals. “Sweet Celestia! A world where ponies never evolved into sapience – it’s hard to imagine.”

“You don’t have to imagine it. The evidence is right there.”

It was a rather depressing scenario, although perhaps relatively safe if these ponies were foraging this close to the Everfree Forest. Or was it the same domain of wild magic that I knew back home? Still, who knew what predators preyed on ponies here? We left that world just as soon as it was practical.

The next time we returned to the future, the township was back, but even at a glance, I could tell that there was something very wrong about it. Many buildings were in a state of disrepair, and those with thatched roofs no longer gave much shelter from the elements. After waiting for a potential threat to arrive without anything happening, I turned to Twilight and said, “I’m going to scout around while the map table recharges.”

The alicorn nodded. “Be careful, Mark. Remember that some dangers took a while to turn up.”

I gestured towards the township. “Somehow I get the vibe that this isn’t one of those situations. I’ll be careful anyway. Would you cast the invisibility spell on me? From the looks of the town, I doubt there are any threats there, but I’d rather be cautious.”

After Twilight did so, I spread my wings. “I’ve got my camera. If there’s anything of interest, I’ll take photos. If you’d drop your shield?”

“Mark.”

At the disappointed tone in Twilight’s voice, I looked down to see her holding out a forehoof. “What’s the problem with taking photos with an invisible camera?”

“…Oh.”

I placed it carefully in her hoof. Twilight made the camera visible with a beam from her horn then returned it.

As soon as Twilight dropped her shield, I took off to check out the neighborhood from a safe height.

It became immediately apparent that the buildings weren’t the only neglected things here. A fountain was dried up and the desiccated remains of fish lay amongst the leaf litter on the bottom. Flower beds were overgrown with brambles and trees had fallen limbs lying where they had crashed to the ground. Weeds grew in cracks in the streets where wagons lay with broken axles or wheels. But the thing that hit me the hardest was the condition of the citizens. There were far fewer than would normally be about, but those that I could see were in poor condition, with ribs showing in many cases. The few who wore some form of clothing now had rags. I recoiled in horror when I saw the corpse of a pony lying on the side of the road while another slowly stumbled past it. The ponies here had been reduced to the point where even the most basic tenets of society had broken down. What had brought Ponyville to this sorry state? Then I saw something that I should have noticed sooner – the flag that flew in the town square. It sent a shudder down my spine when I recognized it – the ‘equals’ sign!

When I flew lower, I looked at the hindquarters of the ponies and saw that they all had their cutie marks replaced by the sign of equality. This was the realization of exactly what I predicted would happen when I learned what Starlight Glimmer had in mind for the ponies of Equestria. Back then I had determined that Starlight’s spell could only make ponies “equal” by reducing everyone’s abilities to the least talented among them. Sooner or later, you would end up with a population that was incapable of doing almost anything. I couldn’t see the citizens of this town all submitting willingly to the process, but having been overpowered by the few in Starlight Glimmer’s little settlement, I figured that if the cult had grown sufficiently, they could start imposing themselves on more and larger groups. A thought even worse than that entered my mind. Perhaps she had found some way to cast the spell across all of Equestria. And knowing the rogue unicorn, she still had her true power to back up her ambitions in this universe.

That opinion changed when I saw what was next to the flagpole. A new life-sized statue crudely depicted a familiar unicorn mare with a haughty grin. I had to suppress my first urge to turn around and buck it into oblivion. Bringing my eyes down, I saw the name “FOUNDER” carved into the pedestal. What surprised me was the faded handmade wooden sign beneath the inscription. It said, “IN LUVNG MEMRY”.

How ironic. Her grandest vision became her greatest victory, and she wasn’t even alive to see the misery it brought. I took a lot of photos before I flew back to Twilight, suddenly afraid that whatever force or spell that had claimed the cutie marks of Ponyville’s residents might still be active. As soon as I landed next to her on the table, I said, “Put up your strongest shield!”

She did so without hesitation before asking why.

I waved a hoof in the general direction of the township, forgetting that she couldn’t see me. “Welcome to Starlight Glimmer’s paradise where everypony is equal and civilization is dying.”

Twilight blanched. “Even I didn’t imagine it would get this bad.”

“I did, and it terrifies me to see it coming true. I want to get out of here right now.”

“Two more minutes and we can go,” she replied.

I sweated those hundred and twenty seconds, my imagination conjuring up a group of fanatics exempt from the equalizing effects so they could do the Founder’s will by stealing our cutie marks and we would never be able to get back home again. More than ever, I was determined to stop that crazy mare, no matter how many times we had to try to catch her or how many different universes we would encounter along the way.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Don't make Mark angry. You won't like him when he's angry.

Next chapter – the conclusion to this arc. (Yeah, yeah. It's about time, I hear some say. All things happen for a reason.)

Chapter 44 - Final Confrontation

The days that followed were filled with frustration and near misses. The times when I was close enough to be within earshot but too far way still to catch Starlight, I heard her laughing after disabling Rainbow in some way. This obviously had begun to be a game to Starlight Glimmer, taunting Twilight with her inability to catch her. By now, we were sure that the rogue unicorn was totally convinced of my death, so at least that improved the odds slightly in our favor. I looked forward to wiping that smirk off her face, preferably with my hooves.

Most often, Starlight fired a telekinesis spell to stop Rainbow Dash in her tracks from the vast airspace beneath the clouds. There was simply too much volume to cover; I was never less than a couple hundred yards away. I decided to try a new strategy. There were two clouds fairly close to the starting line that Starlight Glimmer had never used. Above them was a nearby cloud with a good view of them, in fact, it was the one Starlight hid behind when her sleep blast narrowly missed me. Twilight would abandon the clouds thirty seconds before the race started, supposedly to get a good position below them. I would still search other areas before and after the race started, but that was my go-to spot for the couple of minutes Rainbow Dash was at the starting line. Now Twilight and I had to hope Starlight would take the bait.

In the meanwhile, Twilight and I endured world after alternate world. Some were benign, some dangerous, and a few nearly fatal. If it wasn’t for Twilight having a strong shield in place the moment we got spat out of the portal, we would have suffocated the one time we arrived in the airlessness of a barren world that had never known life. We also saw many endless nights, some buried in snowdrifts over our heads. There were deserts and verdant fields, and once we found the table jammed between towering trees resembling sequoias. One world had an intact Ponyville but it was patrolled by huge, hulking grey creatures with a white ruff that reached down their backs. Each carried a diamond-shaped shield and a forked spear. Twilight and I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and hid behind the map table for the twenty minutes we were there. After getting the invisibility spell put on me and given the camera, Twilight activated the portal. I yelled to get the beasts’ attention as we floated upwards and snapped off a photo. I felt proud of myself until Twilight pointed out I had left the lens cap on.

Crap.

The next world had a feature that would gravely upset my friend and fellow traveler.

Twilight and I alighted on the map table. Thankfully, we had not been spit out upside down and there was plenty of time to prepare for a gentle landing.

As I furled my wings, I saw Twilight staring upwards, her eyes wide and mouth agape. Following her gaze, I was equally confused.

I heard her say, “What in Celestia’s name is a root system doing on the ceiling of my map room?! Did they not even try to regrow the library tree?!”

I tried hard to find an upside. “Well, it’s kind of... pretty?”

She shook her head. “More like wasteful. I just hope we don’t see this again.”

We did. Several times. It never got easier for Twilight, either.

Then there was the world where every pony was a unicorn. However, there was a considerable variation in physiques. Unicorn Applejack was more conspicuously muscled, but her spells were mostly related to growing things so there really wasn’t much net difference. Unicorn Rainbow Dash was small, sleek, and a skilled levitator – probably better than Starlight Glimmer. Her winged self was still the better flyer though. Naturally, Twilight’s wings in addition to a horn was a source of great interest, but the fact that I had just wings and no horn at all in my normal form was frankly incredible to them. And when I pulled down a piece of cloud and laid myself down on it, I blew their minds!

As for the civilizations we encountered, many were minor variations of our home universe, while others varied wildly. One was foundering under the rule of Princess Trixie who was a true alicorn this time, but an incompetent ruler. There was no evidence of there being a local version of me to help guide her, and I wondered if my role back home was really that vital to Equestria’s welfare.

Then there was the world where changelings lived alongside ponies and apparently always had done so as far back as history went. That was a social dynamic that I would have liked to have explored more if we didn’t have an important mission that took priority. Of course, there was the reverse situation where Chrysalis had not lost back when she had invaded Canterlot. Unfortunately, as any sane person could have told her, you can’t sustain an emotivore race on the positive emotions of an enslaved race, especially when the population of the predatory species exploded after their victory. Starvation was rampant.

Then there was the world where griffons and ponies had made an alliance way back in history that had changed both considerably. They were literally wedded together. Pony mares married griffon males, and pony stallions married griffon hens. While it was acceptable for each species to have some form of relationship with their own kind, it was so deeply ingrained into their social psyche that they always had to find a life-partner in the other species. How this came about, Twilight would have loved to research, but we couldn’t hang around. Basically, the griffon partner was the primary protector while the pony spouse was the primary breadwinner. “Protector” meant a lot more than physically defending their partner and children though; it involved ensuring that they were well cared for, and children nurtured and educated. The roles were independent of the gender of the spouse, and male griffons were equally doting parents as females. And yes, ponies and griffons could interbreed because of the magic of love, I suppose. Their offspring were either griffon cubs or pony foals of the same sub-species as the parent, but hippogriffs did happen occasionally. Considering that our Equestria had hippogriffs too, I’d say that history had only varied slightly back in the past. Oh, and I found out that the local Mark Wells was not immune to the customs of this world. I met my “wife” – a wonderfully snarky griffoness named Gilda. Twilight nearly choked when she found that out. I made it a point to look into that later when I had the chance.

We got to meet Celestia and Luna again several times, but unfortunately, none of them were able to enlighten us about the motivations for leaving by our universe’s versions. I did find out though that the local Mark was married to Celestia in one world, and to Luna in another (I’m so fickle!). But the best one was when the local Twilight was married to Celestia. My friend’s blush was so great, her whole face glowed. Yes, I took pictures. No, Sparkles – I’m not going to burn them.

One of the most intriguing worlds featured a new alliance between changelings, ponies, and griffons that was led by a progressive civilian group named House Path. It was backed by the rulers of Equestria, Griffonia, and all the hives. As we were due to have dinner and get some sleep anyway, Twilight convinced me to stop in this world overnight so that she could cram in some studies with an earth pony named Long Path, a changeling griffon called Free Agent, and her local counterpart. I had to practically drag her back to the map table the next day! On another occasion, we spent an evening with a griffon priest. In this world, griffons apparently colonized a pony-less Equestria peacefully. In some ways, their philosophy resembled that of the Shaolin monks that I knew back on my Earth. I don’t know how that notoriously hotheaded species managed to achieve that state, but I wished them the best.

And speaking of alternative civilizations, there was this one time when deer replaced ponies, and I don’t mean that they displaced them. No, here elk were the equivalent of earth ponies, reindeer flew like pegasi, and roe deer were this world’s unicorns, only with two antlers to cast their magic. I never got to see what the local alicorns were like though; I just hope they weren’t moose!

Then there were the Elements of Harmony and their Bearers. On one world, none of the six that I knew held that office. Instead, a gangly stallion named Cheese Sandwich was the Bearer of the Element of Laughter, a self-effacing fashion designer named Coco Pommel was Generosity, a grey spectacle-wearing stallion was Honesty, a tiny breezie (first time I’d seen one of those!) was Kindness, and a Wonderbolt named Spitfire was Loyalty. As for the Element of Magic – I swear I don’t understand how I ended up as a Bearer here. I scarcely believed it when I worked as a stand-in for Twilight due to the “Magic of Friendship” back when we summoned Discord during the plunder-seeds crisis. It just seemed too farfetched, but there it was. Perhaps my counterpart could have explained it better to me but, once again, he had been whisked away by the portal before we arrived. I wondered who else could have gotten that office. Discord? That would have been wild!

One thing that struck me eventually was although we met several versions of Twilight, not once did I encounter my own equivalent. My counterpart was dead, unknown, just missed him, or taken away by the portal. Was it because I had arrived in Equestria from another universe? Was the multiverse playing games with me? Or was it all just a massive coincidence? That was a question that would never be resolved but would forever bug me.

The trips through the space between worlds were taking longer and longer, which Twilight interpreted as the spell beginning to break down. We were approaching the limit that Twilight had predicted. It didn’t seem like two weeks lived across different dimensions, but my sense of time had been thrown completely out of whack. If we reached the threshold of no return, we would simply never re-emerge into another reality.

Fortunately, our journey through the alternative worlds had not ended when luck finally ran out for Starlight Glimmer. The mare dropped her invisibility spell directly behind one of the two clouds next to the starting line that I had been keeping under surveillance. I held a nullstone ring in each hoof as I poured on as much speed as I could squeeze out of my pegacorn form. However, Starlight fired off her spell at Rainbow Dash a moment before I reached her. It didn’t stop me from slamming into her frangible shield a half-second later, shattering it and disorienting her long enough for me to wrap my hind legs around her barrel. Twilight’s invisibility spell broke the moment I hit the shield. I channeled a temporal static spell that Twilight had taught me; as long as I kept it up, nopony could teleport to or away from the area directly around me. It turned out that wasn’t Starlight’s first instinct.

As we plummeted through the cloud, I struggled to keep her horn pointed away from me as I attempted to slip one of the nullstone rings onto her horn. Instead of trying to teleport away, Starlight sent a searing beam of magic whizzing by my ear. Finally, I managed to get her head partially immobilized by putting her in a choke hold and with my other hoof pressing a ring against the base of her horn. I heard a terrified scream come from somewhere nearby as Starlight recovered quickly and tried to zap me again, but all that happened was a fizzle and a wisp of smoke. Vaguely, I realized that the scream had come from above us and not from Starlight. I heard the familiar sound as the portal reopened and started drawing me and Twilight into its maw. This time, Starlight was not going to get away!

Although Starlight struggled mightily in my grasp, she wasn’t able to wriggle free. Unicorns were the physically weakest of the three main pony races, and my months of self-defense training let me control the situation easily, even if I couldn’t free up a second hoof to slip a ring around her horn. With her horn out of action, she had no hope of escape as we plunged into the vortex and emerged into the latest alternative world. I flared my wings and landed with the unicorn mare underneath me, her face pressed into the table and my hoof still holding a nullstone ring against her horn. I grunted with effort and gritted my teeth as I continued to hold the mare with as much strength as I could muster. Starlight yelled and cursed even as Twilight took over control of the recalcitrant unicorn, locking a nullstone band on her horn and wrapping her in a restraining field. Belatedly, I realized I had performed the choke hold incorrectly as Starlight’s airflow had not been shut off. Instead, I had applied a safer technique that was used in practice. Ah, well. No plan survives first contact with the enemy. With our objective taken care of, Twilight and I took stock of our situation.

The sky was overcast and gloomy, and the stench of death and other things permeated the air within our shield. Ponyville was dilapidated and obviously abandoned long ago. The local vegetation looked unhealthy too. I saw no sign of any ponies at all, or any animal life for that matter. I heard Twilight gasp and I followed her gaze to where Canterlot could just be seen in the distance. A pink fog seemed to be slowly spilling out of the city into the valley below. I speculated that the Equestrian capital had suffered some form of attack that still endured. The devastated countryside showed the effects of war, but who the enemy was, I could not tell. I wasn’t about to leave the safety of Twilight’s shield to find out.

“What have you done?! Where is this?!” demanded Starlight angrily.

I turned to her with a sneer. “Don’t you recognize your utopian future, Starlight Glimmer?” I had no intention of telling her that this was likely an alternative world and not ours with history changed.

Thankfully, Twilight had the same idea. “Every time we failed to stop you from preventing Rainbow Dash from doing her sonic rainboom, we got sent back to a different horrible future. For starters, because my friends and I never met, Nightmare Moon was able to make night last forever and the world was dying. In others, some quirk prevented that fate but allowed other disasters to happen. The Element Bearers have been responsible for averting some terrible outcomes, not the least of which was your cult of equality.”

“My town was perfect, and my goals were for the benefit of all ponies!” Starlight snarled. “This is just a trick.”

I concentrated on a specific set of photos and pulled them out of my bag. “No, it’s not a trick. I have photographic proof of what the consequences of your cult’s success are. I warned you, Starlight – you were dooming the ones whom you professed to be helping.”

“HA! You expect me to believe your lies? Do I look like a fool to you?”

“Yes, you do. You look like the blindest fanatic I have ever met. What do you see around you? Does this look like something we could possibly set up merely to convince you that you’re wrong? You are going to face justice no matter what you believe. You are going to face charges of mass murder and intent to commit regicide at the very least. If you are unrepentant, I will have no hesitation in recommending life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. You are a threat to the entire world and far too dangerous to bargain with.”

Twilight spoke up. “Mark, I cannot agree with you there. I don’t believe that Starlight can’t see the error of her ways and learn the meaning of true friendship.”

I sighed. “You’re the Princess of Friendship, Sparkles, but I think you’re biting off more than you can chew here.”

“Nopony is a hopeless case, Mark.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, but a trial of such a serious nature will require the Supreme Court, which means Princess Cadance will join you and Trixie in judgement. I am going to pass my recommendation to Trixie at Starlight’s trial, and unless you can come up with some extremely convincing arguments, I’m betting that Starlight Glimmer is going to live out the remainder of her life in a jail cell.”

Twilight played up her ‘good cop’ role, as we had strategized on more than one occasion. “You’re such a pessimist—”

And that was the cue for my ‘bad cop’. “No, I’m a realist. She’s already rejected us once and she went to an extraordinary amount of effort to get revenge on us for ruining her plans. Those aren’t the actions of a sane mare, Twi.”

Twilight looked at the unicorn and frowned. “No, but there’s always hope. I don’t know how yet, but I will do my best for her.”

Starlight sneered. “I don’t want or need your ‘help’, Princess. You think you’re scaring me with all this talk? You don’t fool me. This is all just an elaborate ruse to make me—”

Twilight interrupted her. “It’s not. When I was flying up to get to you, I saw your beam shoot out from the cloud. It passed through the starting line area and I saw a lot of blood shoot in the air.” That explained the anguished shriek I heard. “I don’t know who, but I’m fairly sure somepony was killed. This reality you see around us is the result.”

Starlight’s haughty expression fell. Apparently, she had heard the blood-curdling scream as well. “But…”

I didn’t let her get any further with her excuses. “Let her look at the photos of ‘Ponyville Our Town’, Twilight.”

After some hesitation, my friend complied and the field holding Starlight immobile winked out. I had gotten these printed in a friendly dimension and sorted them just for this occasion. I levitated the stack of images to a scowling Starlight. She clearly realized if she didn’t cooperate, she would be shown the photos anyway. The mare took them in a hoof and began looking through them. Her face became pale as she got deeper in the stack. I gave her a running commentary.

“You actually did win in one and only one of these futures, Starlight. No matter what future we ended up in, we never saw you again. Doubtless, you had been killed or enslaved by the different races we encountered.” I waited until she got to the last photo, the one of her memorial statue. Her self-confident expression was gone, replaced with a look of horror.

I said, “And the one time your cult of equality succeeded, you weren’t around to see it. Twilight thought you had been killed by an underling desperate for power, but I don’t believe it. I think you succeeded in permanently equalizing all of Equestria, then realized too late what you had done. All the suffering and destruction you see here rested on your shoulders alone. I think you couldn’t live with yourself and took the coward’s way out and killed yourself.” That tore the mare’s gaze away from the photo and she stared at me. Her ears were pinned back and her teeth chattered while tears flowed down her cheeks. Ponies were so resilient and mentally tough that suicide was nearly unheard of. Yet I had just shown her that her life’s work was garbage and she couldn’t even argue that I was mistaken.

Shakily, the mare said, “I didn’t… I don’t…” Slowly, Starlight sank down on the table and curled up around herself, her body shaking.

Twilight looked at me with a furrowed brow but didn’t say anything. She knew that Starlight had to see the error of her ways and that it would not be pretty. Maybe reality was finally sinking into that thick skull of hers.

I sighed and looked out over the depressing environment. “Well, what should we do with the rest of our time here?”

Twilight said, “Might as well take some photos. That flower looks interesting.”

I hadn’t been looking the direction she had been pointing. I did see a group of yellowish flowers… that were pointed away from us, or were they? They kept moving in an unnatural manner, given that there was no wind. I looked away, just seeing them out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, as a group, they slowly turned to face the table. I snapped my head back to look at them directly and they were all pointed away again. OK, that was just creepy.

“You mean the disturbing yellow ones?” I asked Twilight while reaching into my saddlebag while envisioning the camera in my mind.

“No, the pink one,” was Twilight’s reply. Now, why did that sound oddly familiar?

The back of my foreleg bumped up against something in the multi-dimensional space in the saddlebag just as the frog of my hoof made contact with the familiar camera. I blinked. That had never happened before. Leaving the camera behind, I spun my hoof around to grab the object that had a wide and flat surface. With growing curiosity, I pulled out my foreleg to find it holding a white box made out of thin cardboard. It looked like a clothing box… no… a pastry carry-out box. But it was what was drawn on the top that made me freeze up in shock. Twilight came over to take a look and gasped. In messy but still recognizable crayon, there was a depiction of Starlight Glimmer’s cutie mark.

Twilight and I glanced at each other and the silence stretched out. Eventually, I took the only course of action that seemed reasonable. I placed the box in front of the cowering mare and said, “These are for you.”

On a hunch, I pictured an identical cardboard box and, sure enough, pulled out a box similarly designated for Twilight Sparkle then one for myself.

Starlight had recovered from her sniffling enough to say, “What…”

“No idea,” I replied while opening my box. Inside were a half-dozen cupcakes topped with bright pink frosting and hundreds of multi-colored flakes of sugar. Twilight’s box contained dark chocolate cupcakes with two-tone swirled chocolate topping, no sprinkles. Starlight’s had the same as Twilight’s but decorated with peppermint candy shavings.

“I don’t understand,” said Starlight Glimmer from her spot sprawled on the map table.

“What’s to understand,” replied Twilight. “Chocolate.” Apparently, that was all the reason required, because she impulsively took a bite of one. I didn’t even have time to warn her not to, remembering the stupefying effects of Pinkie’s ‘Death by Chocolate’ cupcakes. Instead, Twilight’s shield actually grew brighter for a moment as she hummed appreciatively. “Oh, these are soooooooo good.”

As much as I desperately wanted to point out this was not the place or time for snacks, we were essentially stuck here until the map table recharged. And my nose was telling me in no uncertain terms that I absolutely must try at least one of the treats in my box. I lifted one up in my magic, peeling off the liner as I popped it in my mouth. I quickly determined that the frosting was a lie – simply a colored buttercream that added sweetness but no flavor to the delicacy. Instead, the punch of the dessert was provided by the swirl of different fruit and berry flavors in the cake itself. Removing the wrapper of a second showed me the six colors in a marbled pattern that I had only tasted for a few seconds back in the Golden Oak Library. I also noticed my power reserves felt like they were fully charged, which was certainly odd.

Starlight Glimmer looked between us with an expression on her face that I can only describe as ‘don’t tell me I’m the only sane one here’.

Looking over at Twilight, I saw there were only three cupcakes left in her box. “Whoa! Slow down there, Twi! Save some for later.” I closed the lid on her box with my magic at the same time I put my second cupcake back in my box.

Around chocolate crumbs, the smiling alicorn said, “I can’t help it! They’re perfect!”

I waved a forehoof down at Starlight. “Stop thinking so much. Eat one of yours or the purple vacuum cleaner will snarf down all of yours as well.”

That got me a glare from my friend, followed by a covetous gaze downwards at Starlight’s box. Tentatively, Starlight took a sniff, followed by a lick, followed by a bite of the cupcake. One bite later and it was gone. She looked up. “OK, that was the best cupcake I ever had. It’s like this flavor was made with just me in mind. I still don’t understand why you had that box in your saddlebags.”

“Neither do I,” I said. “I can’t even imagine what kind of powerful entity could put those in my saddlebags from a universe away.” That’s when my mind finished connecting the dots. “Oh.” I turned to Twilight. “I guess you did kind of call out… her name.”

After a moment, Twilight’s eyes went wide, remembering the remark from the world where Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, and Sombra warred for control of Equestria.

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted as the table shuddered and our protective shield flared. I looked around and almost gagged. While we had been focused on our argument with Starlight, some… things… had approached us unnoticed and had attacked without warning. Only Twilight’s protective field had saved us from the vile creatures that were starting to besiege us. Their bodies were gaunt and unwholesome, open sores and rotting flesh all over, their manes and tails were but stringy remnants, and those that used to be pegasi had a few wretched feathers left on their wings. Their eyes were bloodshot and their gaze insane.

“Zombie ponies! What the buck happened here for these to exist?!” I yelped.

Twilight tilted her head but didn’t express disgust at these vile monsters. “Hmm. I’ve been sensing some old dark magic lingering around here. Some dangerous spells must have been used in whatever conflict they had.”

“Are they even alive?” I asked.

“I don’t think there’s any necromancy involved. They’re just horribly mutated.”

“And mindlessly violent. How’s your shield holding up?”

“As long as they just bump into it—” Twilight was interrupted by a much brighter flare of her shield. I noticed what must have been an earth pony once rear back for another buck. The horns of the unicorns around us started to spark to life. A beam lanced out from one and struck the shield, causing a spot to glow brightly. Each unicorn soon followed with a beam to the same location. Looking up, I saw more ponies shambling in from where Ponyville had once been. Twilight frowned. “Hmmm. Maybe I spoke too soon. We still have several minutes before the table recharges.”

I looked around for any safe place around us. The zombie ponies were giving the patch of yellow flowers a wide berth as they approached the table. Levitating above the center of them would protect us from all but the unicorn blasts, but I figured there was a good reason why even these monstrosities stayed away from the flora, and I didn’t want to find out what it was. “Twilight, can you teleport us away from here? All of these ponies are pretty slow.”

“Not while Starlight is wearing the nullstone band.”

Amazing how a threat to one’s life can break through any funk. Starlight was on her hooves now, her pupils were shrunk to pinpricks. “You can’t leave me here! Please!”

Twilight pointedly said, “We are not going to.” She accompanied this with a sharp stare at me. “Plus, I don’t want to come back to a map table crawling with these things for fear of drawing one or more in after us.”

Starlight said, “Let me help you! I can help hold off these… these abominations that I created.”

I snarled. “So you can finally knock us out and leave us to die while you go back to Equestria and make the same mistakes all over again.”

“No, I won’t! Look, I’m stubborn, but I’m not stupid.” She pointed at the photos now scattered on the table. “I can see with my own eyes that my dream didn’t work. And I know I caused this timeline by k-killing a foal.” She swallowed. “Please let me help. I give you my word I won’t try to escape or stop you in the past.” Twilight and I shared a skeptical look. Starlight continued. “I won’t try to stop you from taking me into custody. I swear it!”

Twilight’s shield was starting to glow white in the spot where the unicorns were firing. I used my levitation to pick up one of the earth ponies and slam him down hard on one of the unicorns. I grunted with effort as I picked up the next earth pony bucking the barrier, ignoring the pegasi for now. They were also bucking the shield but not as hard as the earth ponies could. “I’ll leave the decision to you, Twilight.”

I almost didn’t notice when a light blue dome formed outside the lavender one. I was too distracted by the sight of dozens of more ponies slowly trotting towards us. That’s when I detected something even more disturbing. Several small creatures were emerging from the mouths of the ponies I had slammed into one another. One flew close and I saw a dark, spherical body the size of a ping pong ball and four rapidly beating wings. A dark red streak ran along its middle. “Twilight, is that a parasprite? It just came out of one of the ponies.”

She squinted. “Mutated, but yes it is. They appear to be parasitic now. Well, that explains the zombie-like behavior. I bet they take over neural control of the host creature.”

Before I had the chance to be horrified or wonder why Twilight was not, a cracking sound from overhead drew my attention. Several pegasi were still capable of flight and they dropped onto the top of the shield to strike it with their hooves. I reached out with my magic and snapped the wing bones on all that I could see. They limply slid off of the shield and the assault on the barrier lessened for several seconds. I just about lost my lunch when I saw why.

“Oh, that is sooooo gross!” said Twilight.

“Are they… eating the wounded?” gagged Starlight. Then she emptied the contents of her stomach onto the map table. Points for keeping her shield up, though.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Lightweight.” Apparently, visiting all these nightmare dimensions had toughened her up more than a bit. Either that or she really, really didn’t want to upchuck her cupcakes.

…. cupcakes…

I turned to the pink unicorn. “Starlight! Teleport one of your cupcakes outside the shield and smear it on the coats of as many zombie ponies as you can.” She looked up with disbelieving eyes while she wiped her mouth with a forehoof. I said, “These ponies are starving. If we get them fighting each other, that will give us more time.”

Standing up again on wavering hooves, Starlight Glimmer lifted up a cupcake from her box. Once again, I saw a yearning look on Twilight’s face. Boy, that chocolate must have done something to her brain because she was not acting like her normal, squeamish self.

With a pop, the baked treat appeared outside the double shield and bounced off of the back of several unicorns. Immediately, they abandoned their attack on the shield and fell over each other with teeth bared. They were all soon buried in a pile of other ponies converging on them. I turned back to see Starlight retching again and Twilight quietly munching on a cupcake stolen from Starlight’s box.

“Twilight!” I admonished. “We need those to help defend ourselves!”

She waved the hoof holding the rest of the cupcake breezily. “Relaaaaax, Mark. These cupcakes help recharge my magic reserve. Don’t know how. Don’t really care.” With that, she popped the rest of the treat in her mouth and closed her eyes in contentment, letting out a happy hum.

Her bizarre behavior finally made sense. “Twilight, you are drunk on chocolate right now—or whatever is in those cupcakes. Don’t eat any more of them.”

“What in Equestria is wrong with you two?!” yelled Starlight after recovering from her second round of stomach emptying. “We’re fighting for our lives here and you two are bickering like an old married couple!”

Twilight let out a delighted laugh. Yeah, definitely a suit short in her mental deck of cards. “Oh, that’s funny! But let’s stay serious. Starlight, drop your shield. I will let you know if and when it is needed. Instead, target the earth ponies with your blasts and the unicorns with the cupcakes. Send out one every minute. Mark, along with dealing with pegasi, keep an eye out for anything new approaching the table. Call me if you need help.” Twilight then levitated a scroll and a ballpoint pen out of her saddlebags and started taking notes.

Starlight and I shared a concerned look before getting to our appointed tasks. Perhaps five minutes later, I noticed that something was different. There were no more attacks on one quadrant of the table. No ponies were standing in that area at all, which was strange because they were definitely there a minute ago. A little further away in that direction was the clump of yellow flowers, pointing towards… no, pointing away from us. Was it closer now? I looked away and in my peripheral vision saw the entire patch definitely pointing directly at us, and it had moved just outside of the shield. Well, that was still fine as long as…

“Twilight! Does your shield reach underground?”

“No, why?”

Looking over the edge of the table, I saw nothing. Glancing to my right, I immediately jerked my head back and tried to keep the panic out of my voice. “Twilight! The flowers are starting to grow inside the shield!” A few seconds later, she came up next to me with a bemused smile on her face. I said, “You can only see them in your peripheral vision.”

She followed my instructions and gave a happy gasp. “Oh, wow! Biologically-induced psychosomatic camouflage! I wonder if this is achieved across all herbivorous species?”

From the glimpse I had seen, the plants were rapidly reaching maturity. I really didn’t want to find out what fascinating mechanism they had to ensnare or kill their prey. “Less geeking! More burning!”

“Fine, fine,” Twilight groused as she stepped back and her horn glowed brighter. Flames danced up from beneath the table for about ten seconds. The alicorn then marched back to her scroll and pen, doubtless to write down more fascinating observations. “Starlight! Mark’s pyromancy is awful. Burn the entire area where there are no ponies. Super-heat the ground to a depth of a few feet if you can.”

I had to take a couple of steps back because Starlight Glimmer was following Twilight’s orders with extreme prejudice and the shield was not preventing much of the heat from coming through.

I was not immune to the irony of Starlight and I making such a highly effective team fighting off the zombie ponies’ attacks from that point forward. Some interminable length of time later, Twilight tucked her pen and scroll back in her saddlebags as she stood up. “Starlight, there are too many of those parasprites flying around.”

The unicorn closed her eyes and shimmering waves of heat burst out from the dome. The zombie ponies staggered, all plants within fifty feet caught fire, and dozens of flaming balls fell out of the sky. Silently, I confirmed my early impression that Starlight’s unicorn magic was incredibly strong.

As soon as the heat blast was over, Twilight locked the nullstone band back around Starlight’s horn and held her in an immobilization field. The unicorn looked at Twilight with wide eyes, as that was the only part of her body that could move. The alicorn smiled as she levitated a scroll from her saddlebags and activated the portal. “Time to go.”

All three of us were drawn up into the portal for what I hoped would be our final trip to the past.

Twilight threw an invisibility spell over us just before we entered the portal. We settled down on a cloud near to where the foals would soon be racing. This time, there would be no distractions or interference with the events that needed to play out for us to consider this mission to be a success. It didn’t take long before the critical moment came.

It was fascinating to watch Rainbow Dash power dive. We could see the energy build-up as the young filly neared the speed of sound. And then – BOOM! A rainbow ring of light exploded from the pegasus as she cracked the sound barrier and performed her first sonic rainboom. It was awesome! I’d seen adult Dash perform it several times, but to think she had managed it at this age was incredible. She truly lived up to her boast of being the best flyer in Equestria.

Suddenly, I realized that nothing was happening. The portal didn’t materialize to take us back to our proper time. “What’s gone wrong, Twi? Why are we still here?”

Twilight replied, “Stop worrying, Mark. The return spell was only triggered by Starlight’s attempts to change history. This time, there was no attempt, so no trigger. I just have to do it manually.”

I heaved a sigh of relief and switched to my pegasus form. While Equestria was in safe hooves now, I didn’t want to wait years to see my fiancée again. Then I suddenly realized that this was a golden opportunity to go to Canterlot to get some answers from the Celestia of our world. “Wait, Twi—”

Too late. Twilight had already triggered the spell and I felt the familiar sensation of being sucked into the time portal.

We landed gracefully on the map table – or at least Twilight and I did. Starlight not so much due to being bound still. The first thing that I noticed was that we were back inside Twilight’s castle. So far, so good. Before I could further verify that we were back in our correct world, a scream came from behind me.

“Dowser! You’re back!” *SPLAT*

I turned to see Trixie plastered against Twilight’s shield. While we believed we were headed home, it hadn’t hurt to play it safe. Then I saw Penumbra and Crimson approaching with expressions of happiness and relief. “Sparkles, I think we’re home.”

Twilight smiled and nodded. She dropped the shield and floated our prisoner towards the guardsponies. My attention was grabbed by Trixie stumbling to the edge of the table. I moved over and bent down to gaze into my love’s eyes. “Hi, beautiful. Miss me?”

Trixie didn’t bother answering. She just threw a foreleg around my neck and pulled me close to kiss me. We didn’t rush it because we had a few days to make up for. When she finally came up for breath (pegasi have much more lung power), I said, “Wedding. Two weeks from now. No arguments.”

“Anything you say. Just don’t leave Trixie like that again.”

“Won’t be by my choice or desire, my princess.”

She smiled gloriously before kissing me again.

I barely noticed Thorax turning up, but I heard Twilight’s cry of delight upon seeing him. She jumped down and flew into his embrace. They kissed and crooned happily, and then Twilight started nuzzling and stroking him with her head much like a cat would. Thorax squatted there, his eyes closed and a goofy grin on his face as he lapped up her affection. That was by far the oddest thing I’d seen Twilight do, but what did I know about changeling/pony relationships? They looked happy, and that’s what really counted.

I turned to Trixie and said, “There’s one more thing I have to do, dear. Oh, how long were we gone, by the way?” I hopped off the table and trotted over towards the other couple.

Trixie blinked and cocked her head as she stayed by my side. “Exactly one week. Oh, and Polished Barding is expected to make a full recovery. He’s been transferred back to Canterlot General Hospital.”

“That’s good news.” I turned to face the changeling drone. “Thorax, if you feel something off about Twilight, it’s because she’s on a massive chocolate high right now.”

He blinked and smacked his lips. “I don’t feel anything odd-d-d-d-d-d!” Thorax shivered and his eyes went wide. Apparently, Twilight nibbling on his neck added to whatever emotions she was giving off right then. The result was extremely distracting.

He panted and pulled away. “OK. I’m starting to see what you mean. What are the symptoms?”

I thought back. “She’s incapable of feeling fear or disgust right now.”

Thorax shrugged. “I don’t see that as a bad thing.”

I stared at him levelly. “On its own, it’s not. Unfortunately, she’s going to crash back down at some point. That’s when you’ll need to be there for her.”

“Oh,” he said, looking a bit glum. “Thank you, Mark. I will do that.” Twilight cured his sad expression with a nip to his withers, which caused his wings to shoot out to his sides. Trixie and I watched them briefly before her horn lit up and I felt myself being carried away. It seemed my presence was urgently required elsewhere. I called back over my shoulder, “I guess I’ll leave it to you to make explanations, Twi.”

I’m not sure if she heard me, but at least I got some laughs from Penny and Crimson who had taken charge of Starlight Glimmer. I soon stopped caring once Trixie and I reached my room and the door closed behind us.

It was a couple of hours before Trixie let me go. Not that I was in any hurry to leave, but there were still loose ends to tie up. We’d spent little time actually talking about my adventures with Twilight beyond a bare outline. We were much more interested in making love, talking about wedding plans, making love, deciding on who to head up the ceremony (Cadance, of course. Other universe versions of her made me promise to ask mine!), making love, speculating on what Twilight and Thorax were going to do, making… well… you get the idea.

When we finally made our way downstairs, we found everyone starting to gather around the dinner table. Cadance and Shining Armor had arrived during our absence, plus all of the Element Bearers. Even Discord came at Fluttershy’s invitation. He gave me a painfully hard slap on the back and congratulated me on my safe return.

Spike walked in with a huge platter of food and put it on the table. He grinned at us and said, “Great timing! We were just about to send someone up to see if you were hungry.”

After all I’d been through lately, I was starving! But I had to wait just a little bit longer while Twilight levitated over to herself the saddlebags that we’d been carrying for days.

“My friends, I would like to introduce to you someone who is very special in my heart – my new daughter, Nyx Sparkle!”

She reached into the saddlebag as she spoke and drew out the little alicorn filly.

Nyx blinked in the bright light, then grinned. “Are we home yet, mom?”

“Yes, Nyx. We’re home at last.”

“Awesome!” She looked around at the surprised faces. “I know you and you and you, but I’ve never seen you before. Hi! I’m Nyx.”

Penumbra stared at the beaming filly for a moment before saying, “Sweet Celestia! You’re adorable! Can I hug you?”

“Sure!” Nyx trotted over to get a wing hug from the bat pony.

“I’m your Auntie Penumbra. You can call me Penny if you like.”

I had to chuckle. My bodyguard had not only promoted herself to family, but she actually wanted Nyx to use the nickname I’d given her that she always said annoyed her. I noticed, though, that Discord had a thoughtful frown as he looked at the alicorn filly. I’d have to ask him what that was about later.

Applejack spoke up. “Twilight, sugarcube, Ah can tell yer tellin’ the truth when ya say she’s yer daughter, but… how?”

“It’s a long story, AJ, but now that everypony’s here, Mark and I can tell you it all. But, can it wait until we eat? I’m starving!”

“I’m not,” I heard Thorax murmur smugly from where he sat beside me.

I leaned over and said in a quiet voice, “When are you going to ask Twilight to marry you?”

He looked at me askance and licked his fangs nervously. “I can’t do that. She deserves better than a changeling.”

“She deserves someone whom she loves dearly and who loves her unconditionally back. Take it from someone who put it off for too long – now’s the time to ask.”

“Do you really think so?”

“She’s one of my best friends, so would you think I would suggest it if I didn’t think you were good for each other?”

“I… suppose not.”

“Then propose.”

“Can it wait until after dinner?”

“Okay, but if you chicken out, I’ll tell Twi.”

He waved his forehooves in denial. “No! No! I’ll do it.”

“Good bug. Now, let’s see what Spike has cooked up for us.”

It was a big meal and we were well into dessert before we got to the part where we met the threesome of Shining Armor and his mares, Cadance and Chrysalis. Shiny nearly choked on his apple pie (freshly baked at Sweet Apple Acres) and Cadance looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck barreling at her. Discord pounded the table as he roared with laughter.

After Shining got over his coughing fit, he glared at me and said, “You made that up!”

I smiled smugly. “Nope! I have photographs.” I pulled the photos out of the pouch I had hanging around my neck and Cadance snatched them up in her magic. The couple stared at them, their mouths agape while I passed around some copies to the others. I noted with amazement that Shining could actually turn whiter than he already was, while Cadance was blushing furiously.

Thorax gave me a nudge and whispered, “You’re not going to believe this, but Princess Cadance is getting turned on.”

I looked at the love bug with a raised eyebrow. He just grinned and nodded. If you can’t trust an emotivore to read emotions correctly, who can you trust? I suppose if alternate world Cadance could like her Chrysalis, I was unable to see why mine couldn’t. She was the Alicorn of Love, after all. Shining, on the other hoof, looked like he swallowed rancid chili. I almost felt bad about pulling out the pics of his female counterpart. Almost.

Discord nearly twisted himself in knots from laughing so hard. I grinned. ‘Top that, buddy,” I thought.

Cadance ordered 8 x 10 glossy prints of the best glamor shot of female Shiny and another of the loving couple together.

Shining sulked until Cadance whispered something in his ear and he immediately brightened up. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what the pink mare had said. Lucky stallion.

When we finally completed recounting our adventures, Trixie gave me a smile and asked, “Since you had the chance to talk to Celestia on more than one occasion, did you ask her how to open her spellbooks?”

I blinked and then facehoofed. “CRAP!”

Later that evening after Nyx had been put to bed, Discord took me and Twilight aside. The draconequus had an unusually serious look on his face.

“I am a little perturbed by the presence of that alicorn filly,” he started, confirming my earlier impression.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Adding another alicorn to this world by choice rather than through the machinations of Harmony could have some serious consequences. It is not outside the realm of possibility that Nyx could bring harm to Equestria.”

“Is that a threat?” Twilight snarled, her maternal instincts aroused.

Discord raised his hands defensively and shook his head. “Not at all. I will defend her with my life as much as all your friends would do, but you need to expect that trouble might come to this world as a consequence.”

I replied, “Is it possible that if I’m a replacement for Celestia, Nyx is Harmony’s way of compensating for the loss of Luna?”

Discord looked unconvinced. “We can only hope so.” He then snapped his fingers and disappeared, leaving us with troubled thoughts.

The next day after breakfast, it was time to deal with Starlight Glimmer. She had been housed overnight in the rarely utilized jail cell in the office of Ponyville’s sheriff. Like all such cells, it was fortified against the magic of all types of ponies, but she still had the horn ring locked on also. No chances were being taken with Starlight, although the forlorn mare was a far cry from the defiant cult leader that we had known before. We had really managed to rattle her world view. Now it only remained to see if Twilight could reform her as she claimed she would. Personally, I would have been satisfied to lock her in a dungeon and throw away the key, but the alicorn was a better pony than me and had a great track record of success. I wished her luck.

We arranged to take Starlight back to Canterlot with us. A formal trial would be held as soon as we could arrange it, but Cadance and Trixie agreed to give Twilight a chance to put together a plan to rehabilitate the unicorn. Equestria was all about redemption, not punishment. Even I had to admit that if Starlight put her skills towards the genuine betterment of the nation rather than her own twisted ideas, the benefits could be considerable. I’d be damned if I ever trusted her, though. Hopefully, the trial would bring out the reasons for creating her cult in the first place and give me a better understanding of the mare.

But in the meantime, Trixie and I had a lot of work to catch up on. It turned out that my fiancée let her duties slide while I was away due to worrying about me. I was touched. I was also blown out of the water by the reaction of the nobles when Trixie kept her promise and formally announced at the first session of Day Court that we were to be wed. Let me just say that Trixie had not exaggerated the ramifications of making that public. It was going to be a long two weeks.

Trixie merely turned to me with a smirk and said, “Trixie looks forward to your coronation, my prince.”

I groaned. I suppose you can’t win them all.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Home at last. So many worlds visited though. We didn't even mention the one where the ponies were centaurs, or the one... OK! OK! You've had enough, I know. But you can't say it was boring.

So – what's next? Well, we still have to decide what to do with Starlight Glimmer, although she may finally be on the right path. We'll see.

Twilight Nuzzle and Loving Couple (TG Cadance and Shiny) by Foxenawolf.
Nyx by Vasillium.

Chapter 45 - Court Affairs

As much as the commotion caused by Trixie’s announcement of our engagement annoyed me, it proved a useful distraction from the cause of our absence for the past week. A brief glib answer was all that my fiancée gave before firmly turning the subject to the business at hoof. “Confidential Royal Duties” seemed to cover a lot of territory. The one noble who tried to get more details out of us not only failed to get through Trixie’s obfuscation, she also forfeited her audience with the Princess and was required to go to the back of the queue and make another appointment. Not everypony was kept out of the loop, though. Shining Armor had started more military brainstorming sessions based on what Twilight and I had learned during our trips through multiple worlds. Likewise, Twilight's research teams were jump-started by a brand new set of possibilities opened up by our confidential trip report.

Of course, it would have been simpler just to explain to those assembled in court that we were trying to catch a criminal who had been attempting to change history for her own benefit, but that would have needlessly panicked ponies. However, Twilight and Cadance insisted that knowledge of Starlight Glimmer’s actions be suppressed so that there would be no prejudice against her. That went against my instincts, of course, because I was already quite happy to throw her in a cell and lose the key. The princesses were a lot more ready to forgive though and were looking for ways to redeem the rogue unicorn. Even Trixie didn’t put up much of an objection to Twilight when the alicorn declared that she wanted to show Starlight the true path to friendship. We did agree to put off the upcoming trial for at least a couple of weeks. Starlight Glimmer was a problem that would keep. Others needed more immediate attention.

“…While I understand you must be overwhelmed with concern for the young alicorn’s wellbeing, I can assure you that Celestia’s School is by far the best place for her. Our staff is trained for all eventualities, far more than any incompetent earth pony teacher can provide. Our institution is the best for a reason, Miss Sparkle. Frankly, it would be an insult for Miss Nyx to be considered for any other academy.”

Twilight had invited the Headmaster of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns to her private office to discuss Nyx’s future before her public unveiling. I was otherwise occupied by examining a CD player gifted to us by Sunset Shimmer.

Twilight kept her expression perfectly neutral. “Thank you for coming over to discuss Nyx’s further education, Headmaster Nexus. You have answered my questions fully and I will give your recommendation due consideration.”

The dark gray unicorn blinked and turned to me with an ingratiating smile. “Sir Wells, surely you see the necessity of Equestria’s only alicorn foal attending my institution? You do comprehend that it is the only logical choice? Surely you can appeal—”

I shook my head. “Don’t mind me, Headmaster. I am here on separate business.” Currently, I was trying to figure out a workable method for pony hooves to manipulate the tiny buttons on the appliance.

Spell Nexus pursed his lips for a moment, then gave a fractional bow to Twilight. “Of course, Your Highness. I am delighted to make time for you and your concerns. If you will excuse me, I have been away from my duties for too long.”

As he headed for the door, Twilight stopped him with a question. “Oh, and before I forget, did you like the photo I sent you?”

He stopped and paused just a little too long. He turned around to face her. “Beg pardon?”

Twilight smiled in a way that reminded me of Trixie on a bad day. “You know. The photo of Nyx I had dropped off at your house the other day. The one I had taken from outside the castle through one of the ground floor windows.”

His head lifted slightly. “Ah! No, I’m afraid my servants are not very competent. I was not made aware of any such photo. Truly, I will have to find the rascal who would lose a letter bearing your personal seal. I promise this indignity will not stand, Your Highness.” His smug grin returned.

“Oh, no. The photo was not delivered under my personal seal. Simply a plain envelope dropped off in the most discrete manner possible. Although the paper the photo was printed on was quite unusual. Specially formulated to give off temporal magic but only after it has been teleported. Not the sort of thing anypony making a magical scan would think to look for, I’m sure you would agree.”

I kept an eye on the wary unicorn as Twilight pulled out a scroll from her desk. “Tell me, Headmaster. Do any of these names sound familiar? Gray Gale, Night Wind, Red Cleaver, Stonewall, Jump Spring, Autumn Meadow, Garrote Wire, Endless Night…”

The Headmaster’s horn glowed then guttered out with a few sparks. Twilight tipped the entire desk out of the way with a kick of her hooves (away from me, fortunately). Now revealed was a large slab of granite suffused with veins of gray rock. The desk crashed against the wall as she continued to read.

“… Dead Clover, Strident Wings, Sarsaparilla, Autumn Glow, and three other ponies that I don’t yet have the names of. You see, the Night Guard Special Task Force injected tracer dust into the room where you were meeting. Either not enough got on those ponies’ cloaks, or they just haven’t been identified yet. Would you care to help?”

The unicorn took a step backwards. “I don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t know any of those ponies.”

Twilight waved a forehoof. “Of course not. And I’m sure none of them would even dream of implicating you when told they are facing life imprisonment for attempting to bring back Nightmare Moon. Since the tracer dust is on your cloak as well, and they all know your voice…” She pointed to the microcassette tape recorder as I took it down from the shelf nearest the stallion. “…then it is just a matter of process of elimination to determine who their leader is.”

She gave me a nod and I rewound the tape for a bit and then hit ‘Play’. While a bit tinny, Spell Nexus’ voice and especially his condescending way of speaking was still very identifiable. “…Highness. I am delighted to make time for you and your concerns.”

I hit the stop button and looked up. “Amazing technology. Doesn’t rely on any magical components.”

Twilight smiled. “Your co-conspirators are being rounded up as we speak. They will each be told that their only chance to save themselves from banishment to the moon for a thousand years—”

“My idea, actually,” I said.

Twilight gave me a disapproving glance and continued, “… will be to identify you by voice. Each will be held in isolation and interrogated separately. They will be told that a few others have already pointed their hoof at you, whether that is true or not. How much faith do you have in the ability of every single one of them to not single you out as their leader? And if that isn’t enough, Mark can…” She looked at me. “What was that word?”

“Splice,” I replied.

“Ah, yes. Mark can ‘splice’ together different words from the long-winded selection you have provided today. We can make a credible recording of any words you have said today in whatever order we require.” She stood up slowly. “Now then, would you like us to record your confession now, or do you really want to bother Knight of the Realm Mark Wells with all of that extra work?”

The Headmaster licked his lips. His eyes jumped between Twilight and myself, eventually stopping on the tape player I held in both hooves. He jumped forward…

… only to be intercepted by a leaping Twilight Sparkle. Specifically, a Twilight Sparkle who had earth pony strength, months of hoof-to-hoof combat training, was very angry, and doubtless felt like she was defending her child. I definitely saw a different side to the purple alicorn that day. Merging with the other Twilight Sparkle may have affected her more than I had realized.

Once all the thumping and screaming was done, I asked, “Feeling better?”

“No,” said Twilight between huffs to catch her breath. “Not until every one of those… ponies are locked up. I don’t want the Special Task Force put on any other duties until the last of that group is found.”

“No argument from me,” I replied as I locked a nullstone horn ring on Nexus.

Twilight glared at me for a moment, then marched to the door, giving it the pre-arranged signal of three quick knocks. It opened to reveal her personal guards. Twilight barked out, “Headmaster Nexus attempted to assault Mark Wells. I have subdued him. Further charges against him will be forthcoming. Take him to the high-security wing of the infirmary after locking a second nullstone band on his horn. Am I perfectly clear?”

Both guards snapped off a salute and chorused, “Yes, Your Highness!”

“Good.” Twilight stormed down the corridor and I had to use my wings to keep up with her.

“Where are you off to now?”

“Sparring practice. See if you can get Crimson Boulder to join me in the training yards. I need to blow off some steam without hurting anypony.”

“Will do.” I flew off to put away the tape recorder and find the earth pony guardsman. I made a mental note to tell him to wear extra padding.

That Friday, Day Court proceeded much as any other time, although we were still trying to pick up the pace a little to make up for the delay. The real fun would start in the afternoon session when it was Twilight’s turn to take the throne. When recess was called for the lunch break, Trixie and I headed to the dining room where we met Twilight and a disguised but extremely nervous changeling. Thorax was going to be presented to the court this afternoon as a representative of his race with a message that not all changelings were out to conquer Equestria. That was going to be a formidable task and I didn’t envy either him or Twilight to sell it. That’s why they weren’t even going to hint at the fact that they were engaged to be married yet.

Oh, yeah. The bug-pony finally got up the nerve to propose that night at Twilight’s castle. I’d had to give him another nudge after dinner, and he’d insisted on talking to Twilight in private in the next room, but none of us failed to hear through the wall when an ecstatic Twilight started shouting, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Careful Twi – dirty minds might think you were up to something else entirely! Anyway, a very excited alicorn and a furiously blushing changeling (Carapaces can blush? Who knew?) came back to the dining room to announce their engagement. Shining Armor looked ready to explode before I reminded the unicorn about his happy marriage to Chrysalis in another timeline. He deflated rapidly after that. Cadance reacted just as you’d expect the Alicorn of Love would do and hugged both Twilight and her future brother-in-law. She saw only their love and not his species.

The two were going to need all the support they could get. The vast majority of ponies only knew of changelings through the invasion of Canterlot. We had subsequently learned from our trips through the alternate worlds that our Equestria likely had several other hives that had never caused problems. Thanks to Thorax, we understood that even some of Chrysalis’ drones were puzzled by their queen’s actions. However, those facts had to stand up against the tide of personal experience. It was going to be a bumpy ride. Until then, their engagement was a state secret to be revealed when it was strategically advantageous. To the public at large, it would seem like a political marriage to bring peace between our species. They didn’t have to know the depth of their true feelings.

Trixie and Cadance accompanied Twilight to her afternoon session of Day Court to give the alicorn moral support and to emphasize the official nature of the announcement. Thorax remained in disguise as a grey-coated unicorn until the moment that he would be revealed. Shining and I stood with him next to the dais with our personal guards just in case of trouble. Both the nobles and the commoners realized that something unusual was happening and there was a loud buzz of speculation until the Sergeant-at-Arms called for order. They were in for a little surprise though.

Twilight stood in front of the throne and spread her wings. Dressed in her full regalia, she made quite an impression, as was intended. She gave everypony a benevolent smile and then addressed the audience. “My beloved subjects – much has happened this past week, some of which cannot be revealed yet for reasons of Equestrian state security. However, my co-ruler and I wish to announce some significant events that have come about as a consequence. While I cannot be more specific at this time, I can say that we have been dealing with a problem that affected not only our world but also those of alternate universes. We learned much during that time, some of which will be used to add to the security of our nation, some that will enhance everypony’s lives, and some that have deep meaning to me personally.”

There was a loud murmur as the audience members reacted to this news and Twilight allowed them a brief time to quiet down again.

“One of the most fascinating and sometimes dangerous things that we discovered was how events may have played out if just one small change had happened. Some were very bad, but others were equally as good. Some were mixed blessings, but as a consequence of one of them, someone has come into my life to bring me joy and happiness.” She turned towards where I was standing, but not to look at Thorax but at the black-coated filly that stood by my side. “Lords and Ladies, mares and gentlecolts, may I present to you my adopted daughter, Nyx Sparkle.”

With a grin, Nyx threw off her CMC cloak which had been hiding her wings and flew up to the dais to join her foster mother. She wore her enchanted glasses that disguised her slit pupils, but the audience was focused on the fact that they were looking at an alicorn filly. There were shocked expressions among the ponies, but just as many delighted ones. The irrepressible smile that Nyx was giving everypony certainly helped to sway the feelings of many of them.

Twilight continued, “As you can see, Nyx is an alicorn and that, combined with the fact that she is my daughter, makes her a princess and a future ruler of Equestria. Please give her a warm welcome to Canterlot.”

Nyx waved ferociously. “Hi, everypony!”

Only about half the audience started clapping their hooves and stomping the floor at first until the nobles saw which way the wind was blowing and joined in. Twilight let it go on until it died down naturally.

“Thank you, everypony. Nyx will be living in my castle in Ponyville where she can play and learn with foals of her own age, but you will be seeing her here on occasion as she studies what it means to be a Princess of Equestria. I know you must be curious about her and I assure you that we will tell the full story behind her and the other events of the past week in due time. But for now, my daughter has some lessons to attend.”

“Awwww!” Nyx complained, causing several ponies to chuckle in sympathy.

Raven Inkwell accompanied Nyx out of the throne room and to the private areas of the castle. As the audience settled down, Twilight’s expression grew serious. It was time to roll the dice and present some assumptions as facts.

“A couple of years back, many of you experienced the horror of the invasion of Canterlot by Queen Chrysalis and her changeling horde. Since then, the royal court has been striving to develop ways to defend against their kind and learn more about them. To our surprise, we discovered that what we thought we knew about changelings was shockingly incomplete and extremely biased due to that one event. One of the things that we learned during this past week is how prevalent their kind is. It turns out that there are several hives within the borders of Equestria, all of which have been coexisting with ponies since this nation was established. The fact that they choose to do so secretly only made Chrysalis’ actions more shocking when we first learned about the other hives. The truth is – the vast majority of the changeling race desires nothing but peaceful relationships between them and us and the other queens were horrified by Chrysalis’ attempt to seize power. She is an aberration and an enemy of Equestria, but even some of the drones that served her were unhappy with her actions. As such, it is the duty of Princess Trixie and myself to ensure not only the protection of our subjects from this mad queen but to also promote peaceful relationships between us and the other hives in Equestria. To this end, a representative of one of their kind has begun working with me to learn more about how we can achieve these goals. Thorax – will you please join me now?”

I saw Thorax swallow nervously before nodding and making his way up the dais to join Twilight. He shuffled his hooves awkwardly as everypony stared at him. Twilight quietly reassured him with a smile before she turned back to the murmuring audience.

“Lords and Ladies, mares and gentlecolts, I wish to present Thorax, ambassador for the changelings.”

Ambassador was a title that we had chosen to give him even though refugee was a more apt description. We couldn’t afford to give ponies the idea that he was acting on his own even if it was for our benefit. Everypony needed the comforting perception that there were formal relations in place. Now if only Thorax didn’t faint from stage fright!

“Thorax, please show your true form.”

The bug-pony nodded and green magic fire enveloped his body to reveal his black carapace, blue wing casings, and sparkling gossamer wings. There was a hush as the audience took in the sight. Then he spoke up, a slight tremor in his voice. “Thank you, Princess Twilight. I am pleased to act on the behalf of the changeling race and assure you of the peaceful intentions of the majority of our kind. Equestria has had enemies attack it in the past and has come out the stronger for it. Just as the griffon kingdom once tried to conquer this nation but now is a staunch ally, I hope that the same will soon be said of our kind. We recognize that Queen Chrysalis and her followers remain a threat and we will be working to ameliorate that problem. However, in the meantime, we wish to assure you that while there may be changelings among you, they are not your enemies. In fact, they may even be your best friend.”

There was a smattering of applause as Thorax concluded his speech and stepped back to let Twilight take center stage once again. She was about to speak but was beaten to the punch.

“Are you bucking kidding me?!” somepony yelled.

Twilight frowned. “Do you have a problem, my little pony?”

A maroon unicorn stallion pushed forward through the crowd. “Yes, I have a problem. I have a great big problem with playing nice with bugs that killed my best friend!”

Twilight bowed her head and sighed. “I am sorry for your loss, but do you think that you’re the only pony to suffer so? While my best friends didn’t die, Chrysalis had every intention of executing them and me, not to mention Celestia herself. There were castle staff members whom I had known since I was a foal who were not so lucky. There are few ponies among us who did not suffer some kind of loss or injury. The point of this outreach to the changelings is that only one queen and her followers were to blame for those atrocities and we would be as bad as them if we assigned blame to the innocent.”

“That doesn’t stop me from reliving his death in my nightmares every night!”

“Then I would suggest that you seek out a mental health counsellor. The crown continues to pay for all counselling expenses for issues stemming from the changeling invasion. My duty is to do what is best for all of Equestria, and if a formal peaceful relationship can be made, then I will do whatever it takes to achieve it. Princess Celestia spent over a millennium working to bring peace between the three tribes at first, then with other nations, and to deal with special threats in the most humane way possible. I have sworn to follow her example and will only resort to violence when all else has failed. Friendship is Equestria’s most powerful magic, and as Princess of Friendship and the Bearer of the Element of Magic, I promise that I will do my best to prevent you from ever having to witness that horror again.”

The unicorn looked set to argue further, but Cadance approached him, saying, “I would like to help you with your grief. Will you come with me so that we can talk?”

The stallion hesitated then nodded. Cadance put a wing around him and gently guided him out of the throne room.

Twilight addressed the crowd once more. “I recognize that this isn’t going to be easy, but then again, making peace with former enemies has never been simple. It will take time and effort on both sides, but today we start. With your support, we can make this work. Thank you, Ambassador Thorax for coming here today.”

“You’re welcome, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” Thorax replied formally.

The alicorn looked towards two of her personal guards. “Please escort the ambassador to his room.”

The guards saluted and Thorax stepped down from the dais to join them. They flanked him as they left the throne room. Once they were in private, I knew he would take up a new disguise and be allowed to return by the guards who knew his real relationship with Twilight. Sure enough, it wasn’t long before a red unicorn mare – an alter ego Thorax had used during the Season – quietly joined me. The changeling had every intention of spending the whole session with his fiancée to watch how she worked and see if other problems arose as a consequence of their announcement.

As it happened, most of the rest of the session was normal business. We all expected that would change in the following days as both the nobles and the commoners assessed and responded to this extraordinary venture. The session closed after dealing with a significant portion of the backlog, and Twilight sighed with relief. As the doors closed to the last of the attendees, one of the Royal Guards by the dais abruptly left his post to stand in front of the throne.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle – I humbly request an audience!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “This is most unusual, Sergeant Sterling. I take it you have a very good reason?”

“I do, Your Highness.”

“Then proceed.”

The unicorn Guard removed his helmet and then was engulfed in red magic flame, revealing a changeling with red-tinted chitin underneath his armor. The other Guards, Penny, and I came to full alert, but thankfully no one made an aggressive move. While I felt Trixie tense up beside me, we had anticipated this possibility. Still, the tension in the room could not have been any higher.

“Oh, wow! I wanna play ‘Hide and Seek’ with you! You’re good!”

Everyone in the room turned to look behind me where a grinning Nyx had entered unobserved. Trixie did a rather poor job of hiding her laughter. An apologetic Raven Inkwell trotted up behind the young filly, only to come up short with a gasp when she saw who was standing in front of the throne. Her clipboard and quill appeared in her hooves and she looked pleadingly up at Princess Twilight.

The purple alicorn sighed. “Nyx, you may stay if you promise not to speak or do anything else to disrupt the court.”

Nyx opened her mouth to say something, caught herself, and settled for just nodding with a happy smile. Smart girl.

Everypony’s attention returned to the changeling in front of the throne. Sterling bowed and said, “On behalf of Queen Carpacia, I bring greetings from the Red Hive. Since the events of the Canterlot invasion, my queen has had us on the alert for anything that may affect her subjects. As head of operations for the Canterlot group, I have been authorized to make contact with the diarchy if circumstances dictate it. Your intention to start talks with the Hives has necessitated that I reveal myself to you in order to facilitate negotiations.”

“I see,” Twilight replied. “How long have you been a Royal Guard, may I ask?”

“Thirteen years, Your Highness.”

The alicorn nodded thoughtfully. “Thirteen years in the elite military with enough experience and capability to reach the rank of sergeant but not proceed to officer class – a very ordinary and inconspicuous pony who always had access to the castle and the princesses. Quite the ideal infiltrator, wouldn’t you say?”

The changeling nodded. “Your assessment is correct, ma’am.”

“How is it that the changeling detection spells didn’t spot you?”

“They are too specific, Princess. They are attuned to the crystal changelings but miss us.”

“I see. I had not realized that there might be such a significant difference between your hives. I look forward to learning more.” Twilight grinned. “Sergeant Sterling, please pass on my compliments to Queen Carpacia and my request for a summit meeting at her earliest convenience.”

Sterling saluted and replied, “At once, Your Highness.” He resumed his unicorn disguise and replaced his helmet, but as he turned to leave, Trixie spoke up.

“Sergeant Sterling!”

The changeling halted and turned to face my fiancée. “Yes, Princess Trixie?”

“Are you or are you not a Royal Guard?”

His body stiffened as he automatically stood at attention. Still, I could hear the confusion in his voice when he replied, “I am, Your Highness.”

“Has your shift ended?”

“Not yet, ma’am.”

“Then resume your post. When you go off duty, report to the Captain of the Guard. Inform him that the Diarchs have assigned you to a special mission which will require your temporary absence.”

“You wish me to continue in my role here as a Royal Guard despite now knowing what I am?”

“The Great and Wise Trixie would be a hypocrite if she did otherwise. We realize that you have been a loyal Guard in the past and have no reason to doubt that you will remain so in the future.”

Sterling bowed deeply. “Thank you, Princess. I will do my best to justify your faith in me.” He then resumed his post.

I recognized that my fiancée had walked a very fine line. Twilight had not formally requested that Sterling leave immediately so Trixie’s orders did not directly contradict those of the presiding diarch. “Nice one, Trixie,” I murmured to her.

She gave me a smug look. “Trixie knows how to play the audience.”

Twilight spoke up. “As Sergeant Sterling will be remaining as a Royal Guard, I am commanding that no pony reveal his true nature to anyone outside of this room and he be treated no differently on penalty of incurring our royal displeasure. Am I understood?” Her voice had an unusual amount of steel in it.

The other Royal Guards snapped a salute and replied in unison, “Yes, Your Highness.”

“Excellent.” Then she gave everyone a more relaxed smile. “Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have worked up quite an appetite. Time for dinner and to find out what else my daughter has been up to this afternoon.” That was met with more looks Nyx’s way and quite a few chuckles.

Thorax, Trixie, and I joined Twilight as we headed out with Nyx bounding up behind and Raven hustling after her. It would be interesting to find out Nyx’s impressions of her mother’s workplace. At least we had already begun to deal with one thing that posed a potential threat to her.

When I woke up in Trixie’s bedroom, she had already gotten up and left to start her day. Everypony had just finished a hectic week of catching up on all of Trixie’s and Twilight’s shared responsibilities and it was finally time for a relaxing Saturday. Well, as relaxed as a Saturday could be with a Royal Wedding planned for the following weekend. Still, that was a problem for the afternoon. Trixie and I had arranged our schedules to spend some quality time with each other, at least for the morning. I had to wonder why she had left for breakfast without me.

After freshening up, I headed for Trixie’s sunroom, only to hear the laughter of two delighted mares coming from within. That was strange because Twilight had flown off to Ponyville at the conclusion of her afternoon session and it didn’t sound like her anyway. I nodded to the four guards and stepped into the room, only to stop in my tracks. Trixie was having morning tea and pastries with Starlight Glimmer, and they were getting along like nobody’s business. A quick check showed that at least Starlight’s two horn rings were still in place.

Trixie recovered from her laughter first. “And then… and then Princess Luna told Remark Dumbbells ‘Don’t you think it’s time to wake up?’.”

The pink mare held onto her sides while she convulsed with laughter, spilling some of her tea in the process. “Oh… oh, my goodness, Trixie!” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Apparently, the hilarity of laughing at my expense had been going on for some time. My morning-without-coffee-yet frown turned into a scowl.

My fiancée noticed me and her face brightened even further. “Oh, Dowser! What wonderful timing! We’re just about to get to the good part.”

I growled, sharing my angry look between both mares equally. “Why don’t you just give her a demonstration, since you two are getting along so well?”

Trixie wasn’t taken aback at all by my brusqueness, instead, getting to her hooves and giving me a loving kiss, followed by her warm embrace. I felt some of my tension ease. “I didn’t know you were granting a private audience with the accused,” I grumbled.

“Her name is Starlight Glimmer, dear. I just thought it proper to get to know her a bit better. She has a fascinating past, as it turns out. The two of us have quite a bit in common, which I certainly didn’t expect.”

“And your budding friendship with this master manipulator isn’t going to color your judgment in the least, is it?”

Trixie gave me one more squeeze and pulled back to look in my eyes. She actually tut-tutted me! “Dear, you know I always have the needs of Equestria foremost in my mind when it comes to my little ponies.”

Starlight spoke up. “I see why you like him so much. He’s extremely practical and keeps you on an even keel, doesn’t he?” She then sipped her tea, looking entirely too relaxed for my liking. I couldn’t think of a good response to the sincere compliment.

My fiancée gave me a peck on the cheek before replying to her guest. “Now that I think of it, before the trial, there is one task I need you to complete, Starlight.”

“Of course. What would that be, Trixie?”

I was still looking at Starlight when I heard Trixie’s next words. “You will need to travel by Royal Pegasus Carriage to Our Town and apologize to the citizens there.” The saucer and cup rattled as the pink unicorn’s face lost all of its composure. If Starlight had been a stage assistant and showmare Trixie had just asked her to stand in front of a large wooden sheet with the outline of a pony on it, this was the facial expression I would have expected. In fact, I bet Starlight would have preferred that job right now, even if I had shared my knowledge of Trixie’s questionable aim with throwing knives.

Trixie continued. “I’ve arranged for Princess Twilight to accompany you. She will ensure your safety and report back regarding your conduct and theirs.”

With shaking hooves, Starlight Glimmer placed her tea back on the tray. “Y-y-yes, Your Highness. I-I’m ready now if that is what you would like.”

Trixie smiled and nodded. Looking down at the floor, Starlight retreated quietly from the room, two of the guards escorting her down the hallway.

Once they were out of earshot, I cocked an eyebrow at the blue mare. She gave me a smug smile. “It was Twilight’s idea, actually. I just took the opportunity to gauge her potential, which to say the least is considerable. Some sort of work-release arrangement would be best, I think.”

I sat in the chair Starlight had vacated. Pouring myself some tea and sipping lightly, I mulled over what had just happened, trying to fill in the blanks on what was motivating Trixie’s behavior. “Is there a particular reason why you are taking the risk of trying to rehabilitate Starlight Glimmer so quickly?”

Trixie sat down across from me and waited while I refilled her cup. She likewise blew on it and didn’t answer until she took a sip. “Southern Abyssinia has been closed off for the last two weeks. Nopony or other being that approaches the Green Mountains is ever seen again. That includes the griffons of the Sunlit Eyrie, and you know how stealthy and professional they are with their intelligence gathering.” She set down her cup. “I’m taking the worst-case scenario of Discord’s warning to heart. I fear that soon, Equestria will need every possible ally at their beck and call. It might even be possible to get the dragons on board, assuming it is an issue the Dragon Lord feels is in his best interest.”

I chuckled. “And here I was thinking you were about to give the most dangerous unicorn in Equestria a full pardon just because you sympathized with her.”

“Starlight Glimmer is lost right now, Dowser. I’d like to give her a reason for living again. Twilight and her friends are probably the best way to get there from where she is at now, assuming she is properly motivated.” My marefriend smirked. “It’s actually quite fortunate that we’re getting married, otherwise I might feel tempted by such an interesting personality. Tell me, dear. What do you feel about an open marriage? Are you the herding type?”

I could tell from her wry smile that she was just needling me. She knew all about how humans were usually monogamous. That did bring up an uncomfortable topic that I decided was best brought in the open now. I felt my hoof tap rapidly against the floor until I willed it to stop. “Would you mind setting up a privacy bubble?” Trixie’s eyebrows rose but she complied.

I took in a deep breath and let it out. “Something happened in the Stallion Plague Dimension that I need to confess to you. You already know Twilight and that world’s Trixie had set up three portals to the gender-swapped dimension over the course of a day. Afterward, Twilight got some much-needed rest but that universe’s Trixie asked me for the chance to get a foal by the closest thing she had to her husband, and I accepted.”

Trixie was silent for some time, she stared at me and took another slow sip from her cup. I couldn’t read her emotions one way or another, so I just waited. Eventually, she said, “And?”

I blinked. “And that’s it. I was expecting you to be… upset.” At her continued silence, I added. “Perhaps much more than upset.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m pleased, Dowser.” She set the cup down on the tray. “However, I believe you are not telling me all of the circumstances.”

I considered. “Um… She married her Mark after only a few months and he got sick soon after they returned from their honeymoon. That Trixie was too busy with the crisis to spend more than a brief amount of time with him as he grew sicker and sicker. This was also before the exclusivity of the disease was well known, so her doctors forbade her from seeing him for the last week of his life.” Trixie winced at that. “She tried to get pregnant with artificial insemination from his semen but that failed. And when she got on her knees and begged me for a chance for a foal, I just…” I choked a bit. “I just couldn’t…”

Trixie’s forelegs went around me. I sniffled a bit. Damnit! I was supposed to be the one asking for forgiveness here, not feeling sorry for myself. After a minute or so of wiping away my tears, Trixie pulled back and looked in my eyes. “I can only imagine the road to Tartarus that she traveled. I truly sympathize with her, and I see how much empathy you have, Dowser. It is one of the things I love most about you.”

I nodded, at a loss for words.

My fiancée said, “Tell me, do you feel obligated to be there for any child that resulted from your mating? Do you want to bed her again?”

I blinked. “No, not really for both questions. In fact, I had to keep pretending she was you the whole time.”

A huge grin split Trixie’s face. She leaned in and kissed me tenderly. After a bit, she said. “You must understand, Dowser, that it’s out of necessity that Equestrian society does not practice strict monogamy. Your upbringing might cause you to feel guilt, but most mares find such a worthy pairing by their stallion to conceive a foal to be celebrated, not condemned.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “You are not ‘most mares’.”

She laughed. “Indeed not. No, if Her Highness Trixie had asked me for permission, I would have hesitated to grant it. Do you know why?”

I shook my head.

Trixie placed the tip of a hoof against my forehead. “Because of the unusual way of thinking that you have. I can’t predict how you will feel about practically any situation. Another reason why I am so fond of you.”

I pulled her into another kiss. “You really are the only mare for that place in my heart. I don’t want to lose you.”

“And you won’t.” After another long embrace, she asked, “You have been doing counseling sessions, with Cadance, yes?”

I nodded. “Yes. It’s been helpful. I guess we have something new to talk about now.”

“Indeed.”

I sat back down and looked at my bride-to-be. “Trixie, I’ve woken up from nightmares a few times this week. I don’t think I’m exactly the same pony you fell in love with. I’m not even the same stallion you knew a couple of weeks ago.”

“We’ll get through this, Dowser. You fought to get back to me and succeeded despite all obstacles. I’m not letting you get away so easily next time.”

I laughed, then fell into silence.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s just walk around Canterlot for a bit this morning. You need some grounding to reset your brain and I think Donut Joe has just the thing to do that.”

I smirked. “You mean his coffee that eats the spoon that stirs it?”

“No, the completely inappropriate jokes that he tells, even to a princess of Equestria. Twilight has to cover her ears every time she visits, but keeps coming back because she’s addicted to his coffee.” She dropped her shield. “Shall we?”

I nodded and gave her another kiss. “Love you.”

“Never forget it,” she replied, with a bit more warning in her eyes than I expected. Before I could recover, she was already prancing out of the room.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Next: You are cordially invited to the marriage of Princess Beatrix Lulamoon to Sir Mark Wells. It's sure to be a dignified royal affair, so be on your best behavior.

Nyx and Spell Nexus are the creations of Pen Stroke from the story, "Past Sins".
Art is by Vasillium.

Chapter 46 - Wedding Wells

We were running pretty much on schedule during the morning session. Everything looked good to get fully caught up on petitions to the court. Of course, that’s when our carefully arranged plans went out the window.

Trixie, Raven, and I heard loud voices coming from the hallways and then movement at the rear of the line of petitioners. The ponies stepped aside to reveal six royal guards, one of whom I suspected was Sergeant Sterling, escorting two large but unarmed changelings with red chitin on their back and barrel plates. Or maybe one of the changelings was Sergeant Sterling? I was struck by the irony of the anonymizing spell on the Royal Guards’ armor making both sets of warriors impossible to identify… at least from this distance. The manes and tails of the changeling guards were cut short and showed a grayish red color.

Between the two was a red changeling queen, easily identifiable by both appearance and bearing. Her pink mane and tail flowed freely almost to the floor. Her chitin and that on her bodyguards appeared to be thicker than any I had seen on Crystal Changelings. All three showed scars doubtless earned during battles. I knew from Thorax that these would go away after a molt, so I had to conclude this hive most likely preferred not to do so or had them reapplied after each molt. Their build was also stockier than any changeling I had seen. I wondered if this hive specialized in strength, although I couldn’t imagine they could top an earth pony for sheer physical power, at least in their native forms. The queen was distinct from her warrior drones by being larger and possessing a growth on her head that resembled a spiked crown. That and the “everything I see is beneath me” attitude she was giving off.

Trixie stood up from the throne and gave what was supposed to be a convincing smile. I had to suppress an eye-roll. With changelings, there was no such thing as hiding your true emotions. She swallowed and bowed her head and neck. “Ah! Thank you for accepting our invitation, Your Majesty. On behalf of all my subjects, welcome to the Royal Court of Equestria. Let me introduce you to Sir Mark Wells, Knight of the Realm of Equestria, and my personal advisor Raven Inkwell.”

I bowed my head and neck in a similar manner to how Trixie had done, keeping my eyes on the queen the entire time. Royal protocol dictated I should keep my head bowed until acknowledged by the other monarch.

Queen Carpacia said, “You asked for a meeting. Talk. Explain why I should form an alliance with you.”

I blinked in surprise at the queen’s blunt manner. Before anypony else reacted, I raised my head and spoke to Trixie. “Your Highness, I propose we receive the changeling delegation in one of the private studies. I have no objection to beginning negotiations right away.”

I heard dissatisfied muttering from the crowd as Trixie paused, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Make it so.”

I spoke to the remaining petitioners. “Morning court is concluded for today, but please stay for the afternoon session. Take the opportunity to refresh yourselves in the dining hall and stroll the castle gardens. Afternoon court will be extended if necessary to ensure everypony is heard.” The gathered ponies started whispering and many had open smiles. Nothing like the prospect of free food to lift the spirits.

I turned to the guards near the door. “Please inform the chefs about the change in the number of ponies who will dine at the castle for lunch. Also, please ask Princess Twilight Sparkle and Ambassador Thorax to join us.” After a moment’s thought, I added, “Miss Moon Dancer will not be required.”

I turned back to the red queen and bowed my head slightly. “If you would follow me, Your Majesty.” I took her stare to be acknowledgement, stepped down off the dais, and headed for one of the exits that led deeper into the castle.

Trixie walked next to Carpacia and attempted to make small talk with her on the way. I put myself on Trixie’s other side while guards of both species escorted us from the front and behind. Raven trotted along in the rear. The changeling queen made non-committal noises in response to Trixie’s occasional questions. That is, until she decided to speak to me directly as we stopped at the entrance to the Royal Lounge closest to the throne room. “You are not yet royalty. You will not be needed.”

Trixie’s mood changed in a flash, but I cut her off before she could respond. “I am responsible for Princess Trixie’s personal safety. I will be accompanying both of you until I am satisfied you are not Queen Chrysalis in disguise.”

I heard agitated buzzing in front and behind me. The two changeling guards didn’t like that answer. For her part, Carpacia scoffed. “I am nothing like that insane betrayer of commandments. There is no resemblance.”

I smirked. “The last time a changeling queen came to the throne room, she was needlessly rude, looked down on all ponies beneath her station, and did not seem to care the effect her actions had on the perceptions of the common pony. I see no difference so far.”

Trixie lifted an eyebrow at me then looked back to the queen, whose face was unreadable. Her guards, however, moved a step closer to me and crouched. Behind them, each pair of Equestrian guards on either side took a ready stance and had their hooves on their sword hilts. From my right, I heard, “You will not speak to Her Majesty that way.” Well, that answered that. I couldn’t imagine Sterling Shield threatening me in such a manner because of the oaths he had taken as a Royal Guardsman. These two changelings were not so encumbered.

I considered my options. The four guardsponies that had accompanied us were from Trixie’s personal guard, so they already knew of my alternate form. Most likely, the Queen did as well. Was this aggression a pre-arranged test? It was the sort of thing I would expect from a hive that by all appearances had a strong warrior caste. Regardless, I wasn’t going to back down. I’d only attack if I thought there was an imminent threat. In preparation, I forced myself to relax my shoulders.

Although I was staring at Carpacia’s face, in my peripheral vision I could see Trixie fight down her worry then turn to the queen. “Well, Carpacia? What’s it going to be?” No honorific that time. Trixie was definitely angry.

The changeling queen broke the silence. “Arculus. Cubitus. Stand down. You will guard the hallway here.” She faced forward again and strode past all the guards into the room. My fiancée, Raven, and I shared a look and followed. Just before entering, Trixie told the Royal Guardsmen to likewise wait outside the chamber. For additional security, I knew the areas of the castle above, below, and outside the nearest walls would be under heavy patrol.

This particular gallery served as a relaxing place to meet and greet royal guests. Large sunburst-shaped windows ran down one wall while contemporary paintings lined the opposite. The center of the room consisted of a collection of soft couches and padded chairs spread out in a rough circle. Trixie and I settled into the couch directly across from the Queen who had taken her own. Raven stood well back, apparently considered to be an acceptable presence as long as she kept to her job as a recorder of what was said and possibly agreed to. As soon as the guardsmen had closed the door, Carpacia waved a hoof. “Your meaning is understood, Sir Wells. It was not my intention to cause offense.”

I nodded. “None taken, Your Majesty. Your guards’ zeal to protect you from all threats is admirable.”

She frowned slightly but I just stared at her. She could certainly tell my words and emotions didn’t match up, but that was fine by me until she proved herself further.

Trixie said, “I left instructions for my guards to escort you to the presiding diarch immediately upon your arrival. I take it you did not experience any unnecessary delays?” She was stalling, but realistically, the main business could not start until Twilight and Thorax arrived.

Carpacia nodded. “Your guards performed their jobs… adequately.” She shifted a bit and looked away. That’s when it occurred to me that perhaps this queen simply wasn’t very good at small talk. At least with pony royalty, which was doubtless a novelty for her.

A commotion arose in the hallway and everyone looked that direction. A few seconds later, the door was encased in a lavender field and a beaming Twilight strode in, pushing a cart ahead of her. Behind the alicorn, I saw a nervous maid wringing her hooves. Trust the Princess of Friendship to take on the role of one of the castle servants in front of this rigidly caste-based monarch. “Hi! You must be Queen Carpacia! I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle, but please just call me Twilight. How do you like your tea? I think I’ve fallen in love with the chamomile we just got in.” She proceeded to levitate the teapot; sugar bowl; a plate of lemon slices; and half a dozen cups, saucers, and spoons without any apparent effort.

The queen’s ears vibrated a bit and fortunately, she looked bemused rather than scandalized. Still, she made one more attempt at proper decorum. “Ahh… a pleasure to meet you, Princess Twilight. I prefer my tea pure. But shouldn’t your Raven Inkwell do the serving?”

Twilight laughed and effortlessly performed an impressive display of magic. The stream of liquid coming from the teapot split into six equal parts on its way to the waiting cups. “Oh, I’ve got it, thanks. Just one of the duties I choose to take on as Princess of Friendship!” Ah well, that was that. Decorum had officially fled the premises via the nearest window.

Stumbling into the room a bit late was Thorax in his natural form although dressed in a well-tailored suit. His legs trembled and his ears were splayed back onto his head. He took two deep breaths to compose himself as the door was closed behind him. “Greet… greetings, Your Majesty.” And after a long pause. “I am Ambassador Thorax.”

The changeling queen seemed to get her composure back while studying the crystal changeling. “Most interesting.” Her magic took the offered cup and saucer. Carpacia took a sip, looked in the cup, then up at Twilight. “Indeed. This is most excellent tea. Chamomile is a personal favorite of mine.”

The purple alicorn smiled back. “I’ll get you some before you leave if you like.”

For the first time, Carpacia smiled. “I would like that very much, Twilight. Thank you.” Well, how about that. The stodgy queen was capable of some flexibility.

Twilight floated a cup back to Thorax, who looked up to shake his head. Twilight paused for just a moment, but that was enough. I was looking at Carpacia and saw her jaw fall open. She recovered quickly, but that was another pony secret in the possession of at least one changeling hive.

Trixie said, “As long as it is not breaking confidence, would you tell us how the other changeling hives in Equestria are reacting to their species’ unmasking?”

Queen Carpacia snorted and placed her cup and saucer down on the low table in front of her. “Like the passive fools they have always been. When they aren’t running around screaming and lamenting their fate, they are paralyzed by indecision.”

I said, “However, you do not seem to have that difficulty.”

“Certainly not. The Red Hive has been more closely involved with ponies than any other. It is our nature to face problems head on rather than to hide from them, thus why I am here. Now, back to my original question: What do you want from my hive?”

I started with an easy one. “Assistance to eliminate the threat to Equestria brought by Chrysalis.”

“Decidedly open-ended and vague, but I agree in principle.”

Twilight sat down on a chair next to our couch. Thorax remained standing, though his nerves would probably have been better suited by getting off his hooves. The alicorn said, “What is it that you want, Queen Carpacia?”

“So quickly?” the queen responded then leaned back. “As much as I would like ‘things to go back to the way they were’…” She accompanied this with a wave of her hoof. “… only a fool or time traveler would dream such a thing to be possible. No. I would live in a world where ponies and changelings live together freely. It will take many years, but that is my end goal. Until then, I require love to feed my children. The manner in which it is acquired is of lesser importance, however, minimizing disruption would be best. Many of my infiltrators are in your armed forces. I ask that those services not undergo a purging of changelings. In fact, to lessen the strain on all hives, I strongly recommend no sweeps whatsoever beyond the scans you make now for crystal changelings.”

Trixie said, “Very well. I will hold off on any such hunts for changelings. It would be better if Equestria could announce a formal treaty with your hive before you leave. Even if the agreement is limited in scope, it will demonstrate to the populace that some changelings can be their allies against Chrysalis.”

I said, “I’d like to propose something more substantial than just a mutual defense pact.” At the Red Queen’s nod, I continued. “I would like you to assign one undisguised red changeling to each company of the Equestrian Army, plus a platoon of only changelings. In addition, you provide the best tactical minds from your forces to go through a round of Shining's brainstorming sessions. We are sorely lacking a changeling perspective on how to solve military problems.”

Carpacia leaned back in her couch and regarded Trixie and me for some time. “You are both offering and asking for a great deal of trust from us.”

I said, “Which we have given implicitly for centuries up until a few years ago.”

She sipped her tea and I glanced over at Trixie. She said, “That only leaves the question of divided loyalties…”

The queen nodded. “Indeed. How can you trust a soldier whose life is dedicated to serving his queen and yet has taken oaths to serve his Equestrian Princesses? Know that our hive values loyalty above all else. The red changelings in your ranks hold their oath to Equestria to be of primary importance. The only exception being they would not carry out an order to attack me personally. This is not unlike one of your soldiers refusing to kill their own mother. If so commanded, the soldier would attack and kill other red changelings, though only with great reluctance. Also, they would likely resign their commission at the first opportunity after the battle was concluded.”

I didn’t have to look at Trixie to know that was entirely acceptable. Any Equestrian army that committed such atrocities would not be worthy of their loyalty.

After a long pause, it was apparent that the Queen would not commit to any such agreement right away. Twilight said, “Queen Carpacia, would you like to stay as our guest for the royal wedding tomorrow? It will also allow you to meet the other Element Bearers, Princess Cadance, Prince Shining Armor, and many more of the ponies of our kingdom.”

The queen smiled and stood. “I would like that very much, Your Highness. I have never attended a pony wedding, much less a royal one. I trust it will be an interesting experience.”

Trixie and I shared a fearful glance. Did we just get jinxed?

Carpacia frowned and looked between us. “Was it something I said?”

Anyone who thinks two weeks to organize a wedding is plenty of time obviously has never gotten formally married. Even with a retinue of servants to delegate the majority of the responsibilities to, both Trixie and I had found every spare moment tied up with some detail that needed our personal attention. In hindsight, insisting on getting married in a fortnight wasn’t my best idea, but I didn’t really regret it. The day was finally here and I was excited and full of nervous energy. For that reason and one other, I was currently flying around the airspace above the valley that Canterlot overlooked.

The fresh air was doing wonders for clearing my head and the relative solitude was helping calm the butterflies in my stomach. Only my diligent bodyguard shared the local skies with me, and Penumbra was keeping her distance to give me this precious chance to relax. Strange how I now thought of flying as a way to take a breather considering my inauspicious start to learning how to be a pegasus. You could hardly see the remnants of the damage I’d done to the castle gardens anymore. I’d probably never be a great flier, at least in my normal form, but after nearly two years in my new home, I was now confidently competent. I could enjoy the wind in my feathers and an unobstructed view of the ground a very long distance below me.

Right now, though, it was Canterlot that was the more interesting sight. The palace remained a magnificent and breathtaking structure in the way it defied gravity as it hung off the side of the mountain. The engineering and magic skills of its builders were remarkable even centuries after it had been built. The city that had grown around it was beautiful in normal times, but it was currently adorned in flowers and bunting for the royal wedding and looked quite spectacular. The citizens of Equestria’s capital loved their special occasions and threw themselves into them with great enthusiasm. It reminded me of Britain’s monarchy and the public’s obsession with the royal family. I can’t say that I wasn’t caught up in the spirit of it a little bit too. When ponies wanted to celebrate, it was very contagious.

Eventually, I stopped both my sightseeing and introspection to head off to a very particular destination which had been my excuse to get out of the palace for a while. It wasn’t long before I alighted before a very familiar boutique where a smiling unicorn awaited to let me into the premises which were closed to the public today.

“Good morning, Rarity. Ready for the big day?”

Rarity chuckled and replied, “Shouldn’t I be asking that of you, darling?”

“I’m not the one who insisted on designing the wedding outfits for both Trixie and me with just two weeks to prepare.”

Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. “You talk as if I haven’t been planning for this occasion for months.”

I blinked and stared for a moment. “You figured out that Trixie and I would get married that long ago?”

She laughed gaily. “Darling, I knew from soon after I met you that some mare would catch your eye. You certainly caught mine. I’ve had your wedding ensemble planned for simply ages! And as for your bride-to-be, well, a lady would have to be blind to not see how you two mesh so well.” She sighed daintily. “I must admit that Princess Trixie was the better mare on this occasion.”

I gave Rarity a kiss on the cheek, making her blush. “I haven’t forgotten what we mean to each other, Rares. There’s no such thing as second place as far as I’m concerned. I’ve made promises that I intend to keep. Right now, however, I need my clothes. Some ponies will get very annoyed with me if I dawdle too much.”

“Quite rightly too,” the fashionista replied as she lit up her horn. A collection of clothing floated over in her magic and she proceeded to dress me. First came a silk shirt with jewel-encrusted cufflinks and pearl buttons both up front and for the wing slits. Then a tie the same shade of blue as my fiancée’s fur. Next came the coat which was a dark chocolate brown that went better with my green fur than black would have. Nice color sense, Rarity! The mare tucked a single red rose into its breast pocket. Last of all were spats for my hind legs. A few tasteful bits of costume jewelry and the outfit was complete.

Rarity had made the final adjustments yesterday and now the entire ensemble fit me so perfectly, I hardly noticed it when I flexed my legs or wings. I admired myself in the full-length mirror and whistled appreciatively. “Rarity – you’ve outdone yourself. I think I’m going to be the envy of every stallion at the wedding.”

The unicorn laughed delightedly. “Such high praise. I’m so happy that my silent partner approves.”

“Not to mention the business this will drum up from the elite,” I added with a wink.

“Well, I am a business mare,” she replied demurely.

I chuckled. “I can hardly wait to see the outfit you’ve made for Trixie.”

“You’ll have to wait until the wedding like everypony else. And if my ears don’t deceive me, that’s the royal carriage arriving with your fiancée for her final fitting.”

“And my ride back to the castle so I don’t muss my clothes.”

“Do try not to fall down any stairs in the meantime, darling.”

“C’mon, Rares! I haven’t done that in months.” After the skeptical look she gave me, I added, “Would you believe weeks?”

A knock on the shop door forestalled further comment from my dear friend. We walked over to the entrance and Rarity opened the door where Penumbra had been standing guard. Penny stepped aside to allow Trixie to enter. She paused to admire me before giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

“Run along, Skylark Bluebells, before Trixie gets too distracted by her hunky stallion.”

“As my Empress commands,” I replied with a grin.

She blushed faintly in recollection of our first meeting. Who would have believed then that one day we would be lovers?

I bid farewell to both mares and headed for the carriage, flanked by two of the Royal Guards who had escorted Trixie here. Four others stayed behind to provide security until the vehicle returned. Penny joined me in the carriage and grinned smugly when the door closed behind us.

“What’s so amusing?” I asked the bat-pony.

“You two are acting like a colt and a filly on a first date.”

I shrugged. “It’s not like either of us have done this before. It’s both exciting and scary.”

“Serves you right for marrying royalty. Weddings are for the birds. I plan to shack up with some cute mare someday without all this fuss.”

I smirked. “Are you sure about that? I was a confirmed bachelor before I came here. Wouldn’t catch me dead at a wedding.”

“Nah, we bat-ponies are too practical for that.”

“S-u-u-r-e!” I replied.

She just stuck her tongue out and razzed me.

We rode in silence the rest of the way back to the castle, enjoying the peace before the madness that was ensuing inside. All our friends had insisted on doing their bit to make our day special, and it was all that the palace staff could do to keep Pinkie from covering the castle in streamers and balloons. I had to firmly remind her that she was in charge of the after-nuptials party, not the whole wedding.

Several of the guests had already arrived and more were pulling up at the castle gates every few minutes. Access to the more private section of the palace was much more exclusive, so it was a bit of a surprise when I saw Twilight accompanied by a vaguely familiar red griffon and gray earth pony with a two-tone green mane. My memory was jolted when the griffon came over and slapped me on the back and cheerfully said, “Congrats, buddy! Great to see you stop pussyfooting around and marry the mare!”

I blinked and gaped. “Free Agent? Don’t get me wrong, but what are you and Long Path doing here?”

The griffon grinned. “When your Twi told us that you were getting hitched, we begged an invite. We had to see for ourselves what your world and your Trixie were like.”

I glared accusingly at Twilight. “With all the stuff keeping us busy these past two weeks, when did you find the time to set up a portal and go visiting other universes?”

The alicorn rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Well… you know how fascinating I found their world. I just had to go back and make a quick arrangement for further studies.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Quick arrangement, hey?” I turned to our guests. “How many visits?”

“Six,” Path replied, barely holding back a grin.

“Uh-huh. Thought as much.” I sighed in resignation. “Oh well, it’s good to see you again. Where are your wives?”

Path replied, “Roseclaw and Twilight are chatting with some of the other guests, especially your version of Carpacia. You won’t recognize our Twilight because she’s wearing an illusion so that she and your Twilight don’t get mixed up. Just look out for a unicorn that matches Free’s coloration. She thought it was a cute idea.”

“It’s romantic!” objected my Twilight.

“Careful, Twi,” Free said with a grin. “If you act too much like my wife, I might go home with the wrong alicorn.”

Twilight blushed and retorted, “My fiancé might have something to say about that!”

The griffon’s smile grew broader. “Oho! So, who’s the lucky stallion? Or did you wise up and go for a dashing griffon like me?”

Knowing Free Agent’s heritage, I murmured, “You’re half right, anyway.”

Twilight still heard me and gave me a glare before replying, “I’ll introduce you to him soon. Right now, though, both Mark and I need to attend to our other guests. Please enjoy yourselves.”

Schmoozing with the guests was interrupted by the arrival of Cadance and Shining Armor. Upon spying me, the pink alicorn hastened over to give me a hug. Actually, waddled over would be more accurate. She was so gravid by now that she probably would have been better off flying rather than trying to walk. It was hard to tell, but she seemed a little strained.

“It’s great that you’re officiating, Cadance,” I said after we disengaged from the hug, “but are you going to be okay doing the entire ceremony while you’re like this?”

Cadance frowned at me. “You’re not trying to take this away from me, are you?”

I raised my forehooves defensively. “No, no! Just trying to be considerate. I wouldn’t dream of denying you the privilege. Both Trixie and I have been looking forward to having you preside over the wedding ceremony. Besides, changing things around now would be a royal pain, if you’ll pardon the pun.”

The alicorn’s smile returned. “So – are you ready for the big moment?”

“I’ve been trying not to think about it too much because it just sets off another flock of butterflies in my belly, but yeah, I reckon I am.”

Shining Armor chuckled. “Take it from me, Mark – it’ll get worse when you get up on the dais with Trixie, but it’ll all be worth it.”

“That’s the one thing that I don’t doubt, Shining. Marrying Trixie is going to be one of the best events of my life.”

“When do you plan to have foals?” Cadance asked.

I gave her a flat look. “I know a trick question when I hear it. We’ll have them when Trixie says we will.”

The pink Princess giggled. “Sounds like you already have a good idea how to be an acceptable husband.”

“I like to think that I’m wise enough to know when to shut my mouth and let my future wife make those decisions.”

Shining added with a grin, “And if you want the benefit of my experience, just ask. Being the husband of the Alicorn of Love has a lot of perks.”

Cadance punched Shining Armor in the shoulder but despite her earth pony strength, she barely moved the heavily toned former Captain of the Royal Guard. The stallion had not let his elevation to princedom affect his exercise regime, and he remained at peak readiness to lead an army if necessary. I wonder if he was as ready for fatherhood though.

“Those subjects can wait until after the ceremony,” I replied with a grin. “We have about half an hour before it’s due to start, so let me introduce you to some of the other guests whom you haven’t met before.”

Cadance replied, “Shining and I spoke with Carpacia over breakfast… or should I say I spoke to Carpacia while Shining talked changeling battle tactics with her guards? The queen shared with me a variety of smoked fish that can only be caught deep underground. It happens to be one of her favorite delicacies and now mine as well! We’re making arrangements for her to visit the Crystal Empire, where she can sample our crystal berry wine and smoked salmon I had brought in from Vanhoover. So, you see, I’ve already met your surprise wedding guests.”

I smirked. “I dunno – some of them are out of this world!”

The moment came when according to Twilight’s checklist, we had to make our way out to the castle gardens to begin the ceremony.

Along the way, Steady gave me one final pep talk. “You ready for this, Mark? It’s my job as best stallion to provide a diversion if you get frozen hooves or need more time to be comfortable with throwing the rest of your life away.” He tried to keep a straight face but grinned almost immediately.

I laughed. “A distraction, huh? What did you have in mind that would dissuade the Great and Powerful monarch?”

He waved a hoof. “Oh, I don’t know… something along the lines of ‘Blah, blah, blah… you caught us that one time in Mark’s room… blah, blah, blah… declared our true love for each other… blah, blah, blah.’ Something along those lines.”

I shook my head. “She would see through your poor stage show in a second. Thanks but no thanks, buddy.”

My valet and best friend threw a foreleg around my withers. “Maybe you’re right, Mark. Your future is going to be different from here on out, you realize. Becoming actual royalty. I mean, when was the last time you saw a stallion leading Equestria?”

Something was a bit off in his voice, but I quickly answered, “You mean besides Prince Shining Armor?”

“Doesn’t count. He’s royalty of a neighboring empire.”

I thought back to Twilight’s slideshow. “I guess that would be… all the way back to Commander Hurricane, then.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you see a stallion ruling part of Equestria in one of the first alternate worlds you visited?”

“Oh, you’re right! The self-styled King Sombra.”

Steady Flight stopped walking, forcing me to stop as well. After a short pause, he said, “How did things turn out for him?”

I grimaced. “He got impaled by a horn then his neck was broken.”

Steady froze, then carefully lifted his foreleg from across my back and took two deliberate steps to the side to put some distance between us. “Uh… yeah. You’ll be fine… yeah.”

I sighed and shook my head. He had set me up well for that one. Regardless, we had arrived.

The garden’s largest open space had been decorated with garlands, banners, and a heart-shaped archway festooned with blooming vines. Fluttershy encouraged a mixture of different bird species to sing a tune while Octavia Melody provided a melodious counterpoint in a lower octave. I picked out the Element Bearers, Spike, several ponies from Ponyville, and numerous members of the Canterlot nobility who had likely decided they just had to be seen at the social event of the year.

A low platform had been set up in front of the archway and rows of chairs placed in front of it with a wide aisle between them down the center. After the guests were ushered to their seats, Cadance, Steady, and I made our way up to the dais. Penny and my Ponyville friends took their places on the right side of the aisle, while Trixie’s family and friends occupied the chairs on the left. The various nobles and celebrities filled the rest of the seating. The ceremony began with music played by the Equestrian Royal Guard Band which culminated with the flower fillies entering the room and scattering rose petals along the path leading up to the dais. Against Twilight’s better judgement, I had insisted that the Crusaders play that role, now with a fourth member. Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Nyx got along like a house on fire... don't ask exactly why I put it that way. Suffice it to say that the fillies in each universe did not have the same adventures and these four were determined to fix that, regardless of the collateral damage. While I was a bit worried they would not be calm enough to do the job right, they were perfectly behaved with not a sign of tree sap anywhere. Belatedly, I realized I did not have anypony check their manes for slingshots or other contraband, but it was too late to do anything about my suspicions now.

Then my bride appeared in the castle’s doorway, gliding gracefully out onto the manicured lawn to make her way down the aisle, a bouquet of flowers held in her magic in front of her. My heart skipped a beat. I knew that Rarity was good, but the wedding dress that she had designed for Trixie was heavenly. Without a doubt, the gown emphasized how she was every inch a princess without excessive gaudiness. Rarity had created a fitted bodice from light ivory-colored silk that accentuated Trixie’s beautiful form. The wide, full skirt consisted of breezy chiffon, over which rested a layer of lace with patterns hinting of stars and moons. Trixie’s eyes met mine and we wordlessly exchanged our joy at this moment. She was flanked by her father who had come from Las Pegasus to give away his daughter.

I had met Jack Pot for the first time mere days ago and I was taken aback by how closely he resembled the male Trixie I’d met during my inter-universal travels. His cutie mark was different, of course, but there was absolutely no doubt that he was Trixie’s sire. And while he and Trixie had been estranged for a long while, they had reconciled for this moment and the pride in his daughter shone from his face. The only warning I got from my bride was to keep him away from Spectacle. Trixie’s mom had come to Canterlot via the Royal Guard pegasus chariot two days earlier and was a delightfully effervescent pony. The orange unicorn mare with two-tone yellow mane and tail had a sunny outlook that matched her sunflower cutie mark. Unfortunately, she and Jack Pot got along like lighter fluid and matches. The best way to avoid drama was to keep them separated. I barely glanced at him though because my attention was riveted by the most beautiful mare in the world as she paced down the path to the dais. Twilight took up the rear, holding up the train of Trixie’s dress in her magic.

Trixie mounted the steps of the dais to come to a stop by my side. I held out my hoof and her father passed hers to me with a smile as happy tears started to leak from his eyes. “Take good care of my little Starbeam,” he whispered. Next to us, Twilight and Steady took their places as best mare and stallion.

“You look gorgeous,” I said softly to Trixie.

“You’re looking mighty fine yourself,” she purred before she turned to face Cadance.

I did likewise and the alicorn took that as her cue.

Smiling indulgently, Cadance magically enhanced her voice so that everyone could hear her clearly. “My ladies, lords, mares, gentlestallions, friends, and relatives of the bride and groom – we are ahh… gathered here to bind in wedlock these two ponies in the sight of you all as witnesses to their love. As the Alicorn of Love, I know oooh… and understand the depth of their feelings toward each other. I declare that ohhh… their love is true and their union will be blessed by Harmony.”

While Cadance’s voice was strong, she was shifting around uncomfortably and I could see beads of sweat on her forehead. I was now worried that her breakfast was not agreeing with her. Nevertheless, she soldiered on.

“Sir Mark Wells, you have chosen this mare as your bride. You may make your vows to her.”

I turned to gaze lovingly at my fiancée. “Beatrix Lulamoon – I have said this before but I will say it again for the entire world to hear: you complete me. You made this bachelor pony see that life will be much better with you than without you. I never knew what true love was like until you showed me. I promise that I will love you and do my very best to make every moment in your life a joy. I will be your partner in all things and I look forward to the future that we will shape together.”

I looked at Cadance and she nodded, acknowledging my vows. “Thank you, Sir Wells. Unggh… Princess Beatrix Lulamoon, you have chosen this stallion as your husbaaaaah… husband. You may make your vows to him.”

I don’t think Trixie’s gaze had ever left me. She smiled that glorious smile of hers before saying, “Dowser, Trixie had… I had never felt the need for a stallion in my life until I met you. From the day we met, you amused and intrigued me. Your wit and intelligence attracted me. Your caring and love captured me. You made me realize that I was missing something in my life and you filled that hole in my heart. I love you, Mark Wells, and I promise to cherish you and be your partner in life. And give you lots of foals!”

I’m sure Trixie improvised that last bit. Nice to know her intentions anyway. We faced Cadance whose eyes were sparkling and her face reflecting the love between Trixie and me. She gave us a happy but slightly quivering smile. She had promised to make the next part of this ceremony interesting with some ancient rites from the time of the Three Kingdoms, but she wanted them to be a surprise so we didn’t know exactly what to expect. ‘Trust me,’ she had said.

“Beatrix and Mark – your vows have been heard and your commitment is acknowledged,” the pink alicorn said formally even as the sweat continued to drip off her face. “Now, both repeat after me… Oh my goodness, I think my water just broke!”

I furrowed my brow but dutifully repeated, “Oh my goodness, I think my water just broke.” I heard Trixie echoing the words in a puzzled tone.

“No, no! I mean it. I think the foal is coming!” Cadance gasped as she collapsed on the dais.

Now I admit that my mind had been stuck on one track, but this jolted my thoughts out of marriage mode. Cadance had gone into labor… no. She had already been in labor earlier, but she’d obviously been suppressing it somehow so that she could perform the ceremony. Either that or the first-time mother didn’t know the signs well enough to recognize what was happening. No wonder she was so short with me earlier. Unfortunately, the baby didn’t want to follow its mother’s schedule.

Twilight turned to the nearest Royal Guard. “Fetch the palace physician immediately!”

The Guard saluted and hastened away.

Cadance started moaning and writhing uncomfortably. I looked at the audience. “Has anypony had any experience being a midwife?”

My bride sighed and passed her bouquet to Twilight. “Trixie’s license is still current.” She hiked up her skirts and moved around to kneel down behind Cadance. In response to my questioning glance, she said, “Trixie took great pride in making her shows stressful and exciting for the audience. After the first time that Trixie had to fake her way through helping a mare deliver, she swore never to be caught flat-hooved again.” She smiled. “If you encounter a young mare named Beatrix anywhere around Equestria, there is a good chance Trixie delivered her and the grateful parents named her after me.”

I gave that a moment’s thought and asked, “And if it was a colt?”

“Ah. That only happened once. His name is Bernard. Now take this veil and get it out of Trixie’s way.”

I did as she asked and then organized some Guards to gather around Cadance to give her some privacy. That then left a very confused audience to deal with. I raised my hooves to gain everyone’s attention.

“Ladies and Gentlestallions, Princess Cadance has gone into labor and the ceremony is on hold. I ask that you make your way back into the palace. Everypony is welcome to await us in the dining hall. Thank you.”

With the help of the Royal Guards, the guests were herded out of the garden. I stood by Trixie offering moral support if nothing else. The Element Bearers also stayed, ready to provide assistance if needed.

Shining literally danced on his hooves and stared at his wife. Either he was beside himself or really, really had to go to the stallions’ room. “Our baby? Now?! Cadance, can’t you just wait until we’re in the hospital? There are all sorts of nurses and doctors and everything there!”

A very un-princess-like growl escaped his wife. “No, Shiny. The baby won’t wait.”

He swung his head to stare all around the gardens. “What do I do? How can I do? I don’t know what to do!” I suppose I couldn’t blame him. Aside from being his first child and having zero experience, he was virtually useless in this situation. A stallion like him needed structure, and this unplanned event was far from that.

Trixie said, “Shining Armor, pull yourself together. If you must feel useful, bring me a large bowl with lukewarm water.”

“On it!” he cried happily and disappeared in a flash of horseshoes.

I noticed Fluttershy give a level glare at her Plus One Discord, who was vibrating in his attempts to keep in his mirth. After one last skeptical look caused him to just shrug his shoulders, the mare came up to Cadance’s side and took hold of a foreleg. The pegasus softly offered a comforting voice to distract and soothe the gasping alicorn.

In less time than I thought physically possible without teleportation, Shining Armor returned with the punch bowl from the reception area. The bright red liquid inside boiled and steam rose from its surface. The soon-to-be-father’s expression reminded me of a foal hoping to hear from his parents that he did good. Twilight levitated the bowl away from him, which I silently applauded. “What else? What else? What else?” he said.

Fluttershy hesitated then said, “We’ll need delivery blankets.” She blushed and glanced for just a moment at Trixie. “I brought some in my gift.”

“Got it!” Shining yelled and galloped off again.

Fluttershy called after him. “It’s in a wicker basket that’s not wrapped!”

I didn’t think he heard her. That was confirmed when I saw tissue paper, empty bags, and wrapping paper fly out of the corner of the dining hall where gifts were received. Well. Unwrapping was one less chore Trixie and I would have to worry about. I decided to not inform her of the ‘good news’ for the moment. She had enough to be concerned with.

“Can we help?”

I turned around to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Nyx, and Scootaloo beaming up at me. Oh, why not?

“A large bowl with lukewarm water, please. And some washcloths.”

The four fillies gasped and clopped their hooves together as they chanted, “Cutie Mark Crusaders: Princess Deliverers, yay!”

They disappeared in a cloud of dust. Just then, a very pleased Shining Armor came up with the requested blankets. “It wasn’t in the gift boxes after all! It was in a basket!”

I decided to take charge. “Well done, Shining. Please stand right over there and keep quiet until Trixie asks for them.”

He slumped in relief, probably because he had finally received orders that he knew he could follow.

I had no idea how long labor lasted for a pony, but I was determined to be there for both mares if needed. When the Royal Physician arrived, he observed what Trixie was doing, declared that he couldn’t do anything better than she, but would stand by in case he was needed.

Suddenly, I became aware of someone standing beside me. I looked up into the face of Discord who was grinning ear to ear. The eye-hurtingly awful suit that he had worn to the ceremony now had a conspicuous badge pinned to it that read: “Official Event Videographer”.

Discord held up a movie camera and said to me, “Such glorious chaos! You never disappoint me, Mark Wells.”

I rolled my eyes. “As if I’m to blame for this.”

The draconequus tutted and murmured in my ear. “My dear former human, you are a veritable chaos magnet; a catalyst if you will. It’s one of the reasons that I like you so much.”

“You’re not going to win more friends if you wave that camera around here right now.”

“Oh, pshaw! Every mother wants to preserve these precious moments for posterity. Isn’t that right, Princess Cadance? You won’t mind if I film the arrival of your bundle of joy? I'm sure Fluttershy and Miss Cheerilee would find it wonderfully educational for the foals.”

Cadance responded with a snarl and a gout of flame from her horn which covered Discord's upper half with soot.

He blinked and said, “Still pregnant, I see. I'll come back later.” He then packed the camera into a bag that hadn’t been there a moment ago and then dived inside it. The bag and its contents then disappeared in a flash of magic.

I think it was about a quarter hour or so later that Cadance delivered a crying foal into the world. I saw that Shining Armor’s blue was the accent color for her mane and tail. The filly got her pink coat and purple mane and tail color from her mother, but that wasn’t all. The fact that it was a filly was barely noted as her horn and wings drew most of the attention.

I broke the shocked silence. “Ladies and gentlestallions, we have ourselves an alicorn foal. Now what?”

While most of us stood around like stunned mullets, Fluttershy apologetically asked ponies to move aside so Shining could bring over the baby blankets. The Cutie Mark Crusaders brought over washcloths along with the basin of warm water. Trixie relieved them of the bowl and started washing the foal.

With the baby all cleaned up, she was swaddled in one of the blankets. Fluttershy helped Trixie deal with the afterbirth. I’m glad that those mares had so much experience with birthing because I sure didn’t expect that mess! Fortunately, another wing of the castle bordered the side of the gardens opposite the dining hall. Shining Armor and Cadance were staying in the ground floor guest suite and we all entered through a set of Prench doors. Shining levitated his tired wife in the glow of his magic. Twilight carried her new niece as if she was made of the most delicate glass. Rather than going to bed, Cadance insisted on staying with us and her husband laid her on the couch. We did our best to make the pink alicorn comfortable and the doctor gave her a final check before declaring her in good condition.

Shining stayed next to Cadance who had their child tucked into the crook of her foreleg. The rest of us gathered at the other side of the living room to discuss this twist. I saw Pinkie Pie crying profusely and Twilight came up to her and pulled her into a wing hug.

“There, there, Pinkie. It's just fine. Lots of ponies cry at weddings.”

The pink mare pulled herself together for just a moment. “It's not that. It's just... I ONLY BROUGHT ONE CAKE! WAHHHHHHH!”

Twilight was left with her mouth hanging open and tilting her head so as not to drown in the cascade of tears coming from her friend.

“Now what happens?” I asked the room in general.

“We have to name the baby, of course, darling,” Rarity immediately piped up.

I blinked and stared for a moment. “We have a palace full of guests expecting to celebrate Trixie’s and my wedding, and you want us to come up with baby names?”

“Well, naturally, dear. You don’t think that you’ll be able to go out there and not bring along the foal, do you? Of course, the ponies will demand to know the name of their newest princess.”

“I wasn’t planning on taking the baby at all!”

Rarity shook her head pityingly. “Mark, darling, the moment that you explain that the wedding was interrupted by Cadance giving birth, you will be bombarded by questions about her. It wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that she’s an alicorn. I may be mistaken, but that has never happened before. All alicorns have ascended, just as Twilight was once a unicorn and Cadance was a pegasus. This is a watershed event and you must be ready to deal with it.”

I gave in to her relentless logic even though I figured that it could have waited for a little while longer. “Okay, let’s have some suggestions for names. Cadance – any preferences?”

“I always wanted Heart to be part of the name if I had a filly to emphasize her position as Princess of the Crystal Empire. I suppose that may be moot now that she’s an alicorn, but I still like it.”

“Alright, we have a Heart starter. Any ideas, anyone?”

“Every filly that I have delivered has been named Beatrix in my honor,” Trixie pointed out, which I knew had to be a slight exaggeration.

There were murmurs of dissent and Twilight shook her head. “We’re not naming my niece Beatrix Heart. How about Friendship Heart?”

To her disappointment, she was shot down even harder than Trixie.

“You've got friendship on the brain, Sparkles,” I said.

Discord stepped out from behind a lamp stand that would have been hard-pressed to conceal an anorexic ferret and said, “Obviously, her name should be Chaos Heart.”

Applejack gave him the stink eye and replied, “Now why would we be goin’ and doin’ somethin’ like that fer?”

He gestured to the dining hall on the other side of the gardens. The news of the successful delivery must have reached those ponies because the wine was flowing freely, ponies were dancing about, and at least three or four songs were being belted out by the room’s occupants. The only exceptions to the universal happy mood were Jack Pot and Spectacle, who had both stepped into the gardens and were yelling at each other with lots of hoof waving. We had not noticed them because one of the Royal Guards had erected a soundproofing hemisphere around them. I could also faintly hear DJ Pon3’s music coming from the grand ballroom adjacent to the dining room. Discord’s expression dared the farm mare to refute the obvious.

Cadance spoke up. “Perhaps some reminder of the circumstances of her birth would be appropriate. Wedding Heart... Heart Royale... Betrothal Heart...”

Discord’s gagging sounds grew louder with each suggestion.

“What about something else that represents the Crystal Empire?” Shining offered. I suspected that was an attempt to diplomatically get away from that line of thought without outright telling his wife he didn’t like the names either. I needed to start taking notes.

“Compromise!” Discord replied. “Considering her brand of chaos, Blizzard Heart sounds appropriate.”

That actually got some quiet contemplation from everyone. Eventually, Cadance nixed it, deciding that it sounded too ominous of a fate to try to live up to. “How about something smaller?”

Twilight tried again. “Like Flurry Heart?”

Long pause.

“Yer first idea was better,” said Applejack.

“Isn't that the name of a blended drink?” Rarity asked.

“Nah! More like an ice cream soda with sprinkles on top!” declared Pinkie enthusiastically.

“Sounds like the name of a foal’s book,” Rainbow Dash complained.

“Flurry is a nice, gentle name,” Fluttershy quietly opined.

“Too fru-fru fer my likin’,” Applejack declared.

“Well, I think it’s cute!” Twilight persevered.

“Chaos Flurry!” Discord suggested.

“No!” everypony chorused.

Frustrated, he said, “Well, make up your minds! It's either that or Beatrix.”

“Her name is Flurry Heart,” Cadance decided firmly.

Rarity smiled. “Now that that’s been decided, there’s one last thing to take care of. Trixie dear, I simply cannot let you walk around like that for one moment longer. Fortunately, I know an excellent cleaning spell to restore your gown to pristine condition.”

“Does Trixie need to take it off first?” my bride asked.

“No, although it might tickle a bit. Hold still, please.”

Without waiting for permission, Rarity cast her cleaning spell. Trixie burst into a fit of giggles that only ceased when the spell was done.

“That was like bathing in a sea of bubbles,” Trixie said as she looked over her restored dress. She nodded with satisfaction. “Trixie supposes we shall need to placate our little ponies now. Is the foal ready?”

Cadance reluctantly allowed Shining Armor to take Flurry from her grasp and the stallion stepped into the outer room to join us.

Twilight gave her niece a gentle nuzzle. “You’re going to be a beautiful mare one day, but right now, Equestria waits to see you.”

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” I said before realizing something. “Wait... Are we actually married or not? Cadance didn’t complete the ceremony, after all.”

Twilight grimaced and said, “By my authority as Princess of Equestria, if you're not already married, I pronounce you husband and wife. Now kiss and get out there with the baby!”

I’d heard worse suggestions and kissed my wife. She ardently returned it. We only broke it with a laugh as Cadance was heard whining from behind us, “But I wanted to say that!”

“You’ll have to save it for Twi’s wedding!” I replied.

Twilight blushed and started herding us out of the room and down the hall to the second floor balcony which overlooked the public courtyard. Along the way, Trixie retrieved her crown from Raven’s safekeeping. Raven also pulled out a necklace, confiding that she had made a quick scan of the wreckage of Shining Armor’s passage through the wedding presents. The gift was from the ponies of the Crystal Empire and consisted of a large carved pink crystal star suspended from a tight-fitting choker. Trixie hugged her advisor, saying it was wonderfully appropriate. My wife (I get to say that now!) swapped her pearl necklace for the new one.

A herald stood at the ready next to the balcony doors. At a nod from Trixie, he stepped out and we heard the crowd hush in anticipation. When it was nearly silent, the herald began.

“Citizens, friends, and allies of Equestria, we present to you for the first time Princess Beatrix Lulamoon and Prince Mark Wells, joined this day in royal matrimony.”

Prince! In all the craziness, I’d forgotten that I would be automatically raised to that rank upon being wed to Trixie. They had even made a crown for me, although I had strenuously insisted that it be a simple gold circlet – a token really. I felt no need for anything more than something symbolic of my new station. Right this moment, I think I could have used that as a reassurance that I wasn’t a fraud with delusions of grandeur, but it had been left behind in the confusion. It took a nudge from Trixie to make me stumble out onto the balcony.

The crowd roared and we waved as streamers and tinsel rained down upon us. Trixie lapped it up while I struggled to maintain my composure. Not even the busiest session of Day Court had made me feel this uncomfortable. I just waved to the crowd until the cheers died down. Then Trixie magically amplified her voice to address the spectators.

“My little ponies, it is with much joy that I can now say that Mark Wells is my husband. We look forward to serving you as your prince and princess for many years to come. However, we also have an amazing announcement. You may be aware of the delay caused by an interruption to the wedding ceremony due to Princess Cadance unexpectedly going into labor. She has given birth to a beautiful filly whom the parents have named Flurry Heart. But this foal is special – something never seen before. Princess Flurry Heart is an alicorn!”

The spectators gasped and started murmuring to each other, shocked by the announcement. Shining Armor stepped up with the little filly and, to my surprise, unwrapped her from the blanket and passed her to me.

“This should be your and Trixie’s moment,” he said. “Please show Flurry to the crowd.”

I was hesitant but Trixie told me to go ahead. I took the foal in my forehooves and carefully raised her into the air. She started squirming while spreading her wings and shaking her head. Her tiny horn flickered and flashed with magic but didn’t seem to do anything at first. The ponies began to cheer which grew into a roar as I lifted above the balcony. Although I had my wings spread, it wasn’t my flight magic that was at work. Looking around, I saw neither Trixie’s nor Shining’s horns were glowing – only little Flurry’s. Hooboy! Her parents were going to have their work cut out for them with this foal!

The reception was a relief. Some food and drink helped smooth down my jitters while Trixie and I mingled and chatted with our guests. We were with Queen Carpacia when Twilight brought over a piece of cake for her.

“So what did you think of the wedding, Your Majesty?” Twilight asked.

The changeling queen gave the alicorn a flat stare as if asking if the mare was serious. Eventually, she sighed and levitated the offered plate and fork in her magic. “With the Lord of Chaos in attendance, I should have set my expectations accordingly.”

A miniature Discord popped out of Carpacia's slice of cake, raised his arms and grinned. “But I didn't do anything!”

Carpacia put on a long face and arched a brow. Discord's smile slipped and his arms lowered. “Well, until right now, that is. I promised I wouldn't do anything to disrupt the wedding. Nope! All my pony friends are tiny little Deputies of Chaos. They do this without even trying!”

At the queen's continued stare, Discord sighed and jumped out of the cake. “Fine, fine. I'll get you a new slice.”

Carpacia floated the plate back to Twilight with the slightest of grins. “How do you stay sane, Your Highness?”

Twilight chuckled and waved a hoof. “Oh, I've found sanity to be overrated lately.” At the return of the queen's unamused expression, she quickly added, “But the honest answer is 'friendship', Your Majesty. We're all there for each other, no matter what.”

“I can vouch for that,” I said. “If it wasn’t for all the friends that I made here in… um… Canterlot and Ponyville, I very much doubt that I would be married to this wonderful mare today.”

Trixie gave me a smooch for that.

Carpacia replied, “I see. While I was happy with the status quo, the winds of change are blowing strongly, and I would be a fool not to see how the world is changing. You will have the alliance you sought, Your Highnesses. We shall speak more of this at a more appropriate moment. Now – where is that annoying chimera with my cake?!”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

And there you have it – a wedding worthy of Mark Wells. There's no way he'll ever forget the date of his anniversary after that!

Wedding Ceremony art is by Pinefool

Awesome balcony scene art is by Mix-up. How many artists do so much great background work? He's available to illustrate your stories too! Check out his Amalgamzaku DA page.

Chapter 47 - Conversations

Just because we were newlyweds didn’t mean that Trixie and I were suddenly free of all our responsibilities. As Princess and Prince (sigh) of Equestria, we couldn’t just walk out in the middle of important matters, and there were two meetings that had to happen before my wife and I could leave on our honeymoon.

The morning after the wedding, one of Carpacia’s guards passed on a message. The queen planned to leave that evening but needed to speak with Trixie, myself, and Thorax before then. Both my wife and I were surprised at the omission of Twilight Sparkle, but then Carpacia didn’t specifically ask her not to be there. We passed on the invitation to both Twilight and Thorax, deciding to meet in the same gallery as our first get-together. This time, however, Trixie thought it best for Raven Inkwell to stay in the hallway until she was needed.

Once the door was closed and the five of us were settled, Carpacia launched into the topic she wanted to discuss. “As enjoyable as yesterday was…” She seemed to catch herself then looked at Trixie and me. “Thank you for allowing me to attend, Your Highnesses.”

I don’t know if I was ever going to get used to that. “It was our pleasure to have you as our guest, Your Majesty.”

She gave a perfunctory smile then continued. “We need to strategize how my hive and you ponies can work together to destroy Queen Chrysalis and all of the crystal changelings.”

Thorax’s ears pricked up. Twilight frowned. “Is that really necessary? I can’t hold every crystal changeling accountable for following the orders of their queen.”

Carpacia waved a hoof dismissively. “They follow their leader’s orders without question. While their demise is regrettable, it is ultimately inevitable.” She turned to face Thorax. “Tell me, drone. How many princesses are there among the Crystal Changelings?”

Thorax blinked and stammered. “I… none, Your Majesty. I had never heard of such while I was a member of her hive. Neither awake nor hibernating in pods.”

The changeling queen nodded. “As I suspected. The Mad Queen would consider any such as a threat to her rule, so she simply chose not to have any. And once she is killed or her connection to her hive severed, all in her hive will sicken and die. It is an unfortunate weakness of our kind. Hives with a sane leader take great care to ensure this can never happen.”

I didn’t hold out much hope for the answer, but I said, “As a queen, can you detect infiltrators?”

“Just those from my own hive, and for them, solely by touch. From other hives, only those that are incompetent. Infiltrators receive extensive training to hide not just from ponies but also from the infiltrators of other hives. They learn to instinctively project emotions that do not necessarily reflect their inner state. I have been tasting the reactions of all the ponies near to me since I arrived at your city. I only encountered one instance of ‘shocked recognition,’ and that was from a common drone.” She glanced momentarily at Thorax, who shrank back upon himself.

Trixie asked, “Is there a way using changeling magic or other means to reveal a changeling’s true form?”

“Unfortunately not. Even nullstone or death will not cause an infiltrator to revert forms.”

There was a long pause as all of us were lost in our thoughts.

Thorax said, “There must be some way to wrest control of the hive from Chrysalis. What would happen if you defeated her?”

The Red Queen arched an eyebrow. “Our hives are not compatible. There is no way I can accept another hive’s changelings into my own.”

Thorax took a deep breath and looked directly at Carpacia for the first time. “What if I defeated her?”

Carpacia scoffed. “I do not believe you have the will to do so.”

Twilight bristled visibly. The drone stood straighter. “I am not going to give up on my brothers and sisters. I will endure whatever hardships are required to save them.”

“Oh, will you?” The changeling queen stood up and moved directly in front of Thorax. “Would you be willing to sacrifice your happiness? Your relationship with your beloved princess? Every day from now until you die? Do you mean to convince me that you would give up all this?”

Twilight’s ears folded back and she opened her mouth to speak, but I got her attention and shook my head. This was Thorax’s decision.

The drone gritted his teeth. “Yes. I am willing to sacrifice everything to save my hive from Chrysalis.”

Carpacia moved closer and sneered. “And would you expend the lives of your friends among the ponies? Would you squander their lives as the Mad Queen throws away those of her subjects?”

Thorax frowned and narrowed his eyes. “No.”

“True dedication means paying any price. You are not ready to—”

Thorax cut her off. “I said no! I would ask for their help in friendship’s name, but I cannot sacrifice what is not mine.”

Twilight was standing with her hooves apart. She was breathing heavily and her horn was glowing. Trixie punched me in the shoulder and flicked her eyes towards the alicorn. I got the message and I left my chair and moved next to Twilight, putting a comforting foreleg on her withers.

Carpacia was silent for a long time, then she smiled. “So you can stand up to a queen. Very good.”

The changeling queen turned serious again and began speaking in a very formal tone. “There is only one path to be followed.”

Thorax caught his breath, sat down, then answered. “The safety of the hive is all.”

She slowly circled him. “The life of no changeling is more important than that of the hive.”

“None shall breach our walls, for they are made of the will of our people.”

Carpacia stopped in front of him. “What of all your tomorrows?”

The crystal changeling’s body shook. “I give them freely, and of my own free will.”

The Red Queen bowed her head for a moment and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they were glowing white. She rushed forward and bit Thorax on the neck. He cried out and his eyes likewise glowed white.

Twilight yelled in anguish and her horn shined brighter. I twisted her head around to force her to look at me. “No, Twilight! You can’t interrupt this powerful magic!”

She struggled for a moment then her eyes focused on me. “But Thorax!”

“It would be more dangerous to him if we interrupted whatever ritual this is! We have to wait!”

The alicorn panted a few times, then the magic surrounding her horn winked out. We both turned back to see the changelings were still frozen in place. Moments later, the two changeling guards forced their way into the room, closely followed by the four Equestrian guardsponies. The normally stoic changeling warriors stared in open-mouthed shock.

I said to the purple alicorn, “Don’t let them interfere, Twilight. For Thorax’s sake.” I saw her horn flare out of the corner of my eye and the two changelings were held immobile by a glowing lavender nimbus surrounding each of them.

One of the changelings said, “My… my queen…” then fell silent.

After what must have been a full minute, Thorax closed his eyes and slumped to the floor. Carpacia sat down and her legs trembled. While Twilight went to Thorax’s side, I waved for Trixie to join me. I caught Carpacia just as she started to collapse. Trixie and I embraced with the red queen sandwiched between us. I concentrated on the love I felt for my wife, which was not made easier by the curses and threats shouted by the two changeling guards.

After a few seconds, Carpacia softly said, “Silence.” Somehow, her soldiers heard her over their bellowing and both stopped in mid-insult. I suppose I’d never know exactly what part of a hydra’s anatomy I was being compared to.

Next to me, I heard Twilight enunciate her words very clearly. “What. Did. You. Do. To. Him?”

The queen continued to catch her breath and her trembling lessened. Eventually, she said, “What needed to be done – tradition and common sense be damned.” She nodded. “Thank you, Your Highnesses. That will be sufficient.”

Carpacia walked slowly towards the couch she had vacated. After making a visible effort to not simply collapse on to it, she said, “Princess Twilight. You will want to let your love flow into him for the next week. That will give the transformation the best chance of succeeding.”

“Chance?!” said Twilight with a snarl. The glows surrounding the two changelings glowed brighter and I heard a few popping noises. To their credit, the guards did not cry out but their eyes did grow wider.

Trixie admonished her co-ruler. “Twilight. The immediate threat is over. Release them.”

After some grinding of teeth from our fellow ruler, the glow surrounding the two changelings ceased and they immediately took a large intake of breath. Carpacia said, “Arculus. Cubitus. Put Thorax into a pod.” To my surprise, they hesitated for a moment, staring at their queen. At her sharp glare, they politely asked Princess Twilight to move out of the way before starting their task. They pulled resin from their mouths, shaped it into plates, and started to build a roughly oval-shaped structure. I was left wondering exactly what could cause these dedicated warriors to hesitate in carrying out their queen’s orders since it didn’t appear to be fear of an upset alicorn.

“More tea? Or more love?” asked Trixie. This earned a dark stare from Twilight.

Carpacia turned quickly to look at my wife. “No thank you, Your Highness.” She sighed. “I should explain to you exactly what perversion of all that the changeling race holds sacred has been committed today.”

She composed herself for a moment then lifted her head proudly. “A changeling queen can choose to give birth to a princess or prince once per year. Each hive has its own traditions regarding the number and roles taken by the lesser royals. For the Red Hive, our princesses will lead scouting missions or infiltration teams.”

“Fifty years ago, a group of four changelings led by a princess were patrolling the outer edge of our territory when they were attacked by a flock of juvenile dragons. The youngest and least experienced member of the squad successfully beat off attack after attack, all while protecting her injured soldiers and not dropping her griffon form. Despite receiving a dozen wounds, she was able to drive off the dragons after crippling two and killing three of their number. The warrior drone Hibernia survived the return journey and I had the honor of rewarding her.”

“On extremely rare circumstances such as these, a drone of lesser standing performs an accomplishment far beyond their station. After repeating the oath of fealty, I elevated her to the rank of Princess. That was the only other time I have performed the rite.”

Twilight’s jaw hung open and I’m sure mine did too. She said, “You elevated Thorax!? To be a prince of the Red Hive!?”

“No… or at least, I doubt it. The ceremony is the same across hives.”

That’s when it hit me. “You’re making him capable of leading the Crystal Hive after Chrysalis is killed or deposed.”

“If she is killed or deposed,” corrected Carpacia. Then she laughed but without any humor. “Producing a noble for another hive has never been done before today. It was considered so unthinkable that there was no need for a commandment to forbid it. An oversight.”

Carpacia waved towards Trixie who levitated the previously offered teacup to the queen. She took a sip and stared off in space. “What Thorax said was correct. The crystal changelings deserve a chance to live beyond their current queen. Even if there was a commandment forbidding what I have done, now is not the time for half-measures and tentative gambits. Thorax will need to challenge her to a trial by combat for the control of the hive.”

By this point, Thorax had been placed in the red crystalline pod and the end sealed off. Twilight’s unhappy stare made the two changeling guards retreat. The alicorn teleported away with the pod, only to return by herself a few moments later.

Twilight let out a breath and said, “What can we do to prepare him?”

I said, “He can learn to fight like a pony during our sparring sessions.” I turned to look at Carpacia. “And with your leave, he can learn how to fight like a changeling from Sterling Shield or another of your infiltrators.”

She nodded. “It will be so. Also, I will provide the tacticians you requested and one squad of red changelings. If relations with the common pony continue to improve, I may provide the additional soldiers you requested.”

That was fair enough so I nodded.

Trixie said, “Is there anything else you require? You still look drained.”

The red queen froze for a moment then waved a hoof. “I am fine. I merely require some rest before I return to my hive.”

I grinned. “And a friend is not afraid to ask for what is freely given.” No response other than a slight smile.

I turned to face the changeling guard who had threatened me two days earlier. “Has she always been this stubborn?”

He blinked, licked his lips, and looked between his queen and me. “Please don’t involve me in this.”

Trixie snorted. Looking over at her, we came to an agreement with a glance. We moved to either side of Carpacia and wrapped her in another hug. She didn’t move away, but I’m sure I heard the word “undignified” among her displeased mumblings as she tried to keep her tea from spilling.

Twilight smiled, which was the first time in quite a while. “You are among ponies now, Carpacia. It would be best to forget that you ever had pride while you are here.”

Carpacia shifted a bit to get more comfortable in our embrace. “This too can be tolerated. There is no better cause than replacing that <Click-burr-clack-buzzzz-tik> queen.”

I asked, “What does that changeling word mean?”

“Ah, it is an insult that is difficult to translate. The closest I can provide is 'bat guano that is no good for fertilizer'.”

I looked over to Twilight. “Want to join us?”

She shook her head. “After Thorax is safely out of his pod.”

Trixie asked, “Do you want us to delay our honeymoon until then?”

“No, thank you. I’ll… I’ll just have to wait.”

Carpacia said, “He is young, strong, and has every reason to come back to you. Put your trust in him.”

Twilight said, “And my love.”

Carpacia finally relaxed in our grasp. “Ahhhh. Yes, that too.”

I was in a particularly good mood. Besides completing a very successful meeting with Carpacia, let’s just say that the wedding night went a whole lot better than the ceremony – one reason why we were able to boost the queen’s flagging energy so readily. But now, we were preparing to head off on our honeymoon – first stop: the Crystal Empire! Back when they first learned that Trixie and I were going to get married, Cadance and Shining had offered us a room in their palace for a few nights and a number of special diversions for newlyweds. We had been happy to accept, although the slightly premature arrival of their foal had somewhat thrown a spanner in the works. Nevertheless, our plans were mostly unchanged except for the addition of a special event on behalf of Flurry Heart which was called a ‘Crystalling’. As these only happened when a foal was born, they didn’t happen often. My wife and I agreed that we had to experience it, so we were accompanying the new parents back to the Empire aboard the Crystal Express.

My wife… I still couldn’t stop smiling whenever I thought those words. I’d made a lot of mistakes in my life, but this definitely wasn’t one of them. Not that I would have ever dreamed of marrying a pony princess up until a couple of years ago, but this felt so right! So it was in a very upbeat frame of mind that I was now descending into the bowels of the castle to the dungeon.

Yes, I know that’s a weird juxtaposition, but it was really for the best because of the pony I was going to meet. I felt that I needed to be in the best state of mind for the confrontation. Now, despite the name, Canterlot Castle’s dungeon was far from a miserable place. It was warm, dry, and well lit, and the cells were clean and adequately furnished for their occupants. There were only a few dozen cells because the dungeon was reserved for special prisoners – ones who had either directly threatened the royalty or Equestria as a whole. The City Watch jail took care of the vast majority of the others which were far fewer than in a human city. Ponies weren’t perfect, but they did manage to keep a lower rate of crime than back on Earth. However, the current single occupant of the dungeon had managed to rate a cell for both reasons for admission.

The prison was designed keeping in mind that anypony who ended up there was likely to be very dangerous, hence the liberal use of nullstone and high-powered wards. No less than three guards were ever on duty at one time. Nevertheless, the unicorn in the cell had two magic-neutralizing rings on her horn and I still didn’t trust her. She heard me approaching and looked up from the book that she was reading.

“If it isn’t Prince Mark Wells,” Starlight said with a smirk. “I like the crown.”

I groaned. Trixie had insisted that I wear it and I wanted to make her happy, but I felt like a bit of a fraud. I suppose I’d get used to it eventually even if I preferred to be called just Mark. Starlight was the exception though. “You can call me ‘Your Highness’, Glim Glam.”

Starlight’s ears folded back and she frowned. Apparently, she didn’t like my nickname for her much. “Have you come to gloat, Your Highness?” she asked sarcastically.

“Nope. I’ve come to talk. I’m in the best disposition since our little adventure, so now’s as good a time as ever.”

She gave me a strange look. “On the day that you’re supposed to be going on your honeymoon? Are you serious?”

“Quite serious, and if you want to get out of that cell for a while, it might pay for you to listen.”

“Okay – you have my attention and my curiosity. I thought you were advocating throwing away the key to my cell?”

“Don’t worry – it’s still high on my list of options, but unlike you, I don’t act unilaterally with only my own interests in mind. Let me ask you – what did you think of your little trip back to your village with Twilight?”

The mare’s mouth opened in surprise and she sat down hard on her rump. She hesitated before replying, “It was one of the most frightening and surprising events of my life.”

“And why was that?” I asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t Twilight tell you about it?”

“She did. I want to hear it from you.”

Starlight took in a deep breath and let it out in a huff. “I really didn’t want to face the villagers. After seeing what would have happened if my plans had continued unchallenged, I was horrified about what I had done to them in my misguided attempt to bring about equality and my misconceptions about friendship. I thought that they would revile and hate me, and drive me out of the village.”

“And what actually happened?” I prompted.

The unicorn had a look of wonder on her face. “They accepted my apology and welcomed me back. They even threw a feast for us. Really nice food too, I admit. Too bad I didn’t see back when I was in charge what I was doing to them.”

“You united those ponies and gave them a place to be a community. Admittedly, they were only able to progress once their cutie marks were returned, but you gave them the basis for a new start to their lives. It just goes to prove Twilight’s assertion that you have the potential to do great good as well as great evil.”

Starlight gave me a lopsided smile. “And yet you’d be happy to see me locked up forever, wouldn’t you?”

I shrugged. “Twilight and Trixie are better ponies than me. I tend to hold grudges, and I still recall clearly how you intended to murder me and Twilight. You have a long way to go before I’m ready to trust you.”

Starlight cringed at that reminder. “I understand, and I truly regret that. I let my fears, hate, and frustration get the better of me which is why Trixie has mandated sessions for me with a psychiatrist. All I can say is that I’m sorry for what I did.”

“One day, I might accept that apology, but first, I have to be convinced that you deserve forgiveness. I’m hard on you because Equestria needs ponies like me to be like that to balance out ponies such as Twilight who are far too trusting and open to betrayal.”

“Then why are you here today of all days?”

“Because I’m giving you another opportunity to persuade me that you’re on the right path. Twilight says she doesn’t want to dwell on the past, and my wife thinks she has something in common with you, so they’ve convinced me to allow you to participate in what Twi calls ‘friendship lessons’. That’s why you’re going to the Crystal Empire with us.”

Starlight looked at me quizzically. “The Crystal Empire? Why there?”

“Twilight has been researching your past in an effort to understand your motivations better, and she discovered that one of your earliest friends lives there. A stallion named Sunburst, I believe.”

Starlight got a ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ expression on her face. “Sunburst?!”

I smirked. “Hit a nerve there, did I? Good. Twilight will explain it in more detail to you, but basically, I think you have to reconnect with him or something. Not my business. So, you have two choices. One – you can continue enjoying the all-expenses-paid vacation in this lovely locale with the friendly natives.” The guards who had been listening in recognized a cue when they heard one, and they all gave her a grim stare. I let that sink in before continuing. “Or: two – enrolment in Princess Sparkle’s Friendship Program. You have five seconds to decide.”

“Urk! Okay, I’ll do it! But why didn’t Princess Twilight ask me herself?”

I gave her a flat look. “Because I want you to understand that while I support Twilight’s initiative, I’ll be there if you screw up again. And I’ll remind you that I’m the pony who defeated Tirek and nearly killed you in combat, so think twice about what you plan to do.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” Starlight replied in what I believed was truly a humble and respectful manner. “Umm… any chance of taking these horn rings off me?”

I chuckled. “About as much chance as a snowball in the lava pits of Tartarus. Consider this to be valuable practice in using your hooves instead of your horn.” I turned to the guards. “Release Starlight Glimmer from her cell and escort her to the Great Hall where the rest of us will be waiting to depart for the Crystal Empire.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” replied the guard in charge with a salute.

I headed out of the dungeon well satisfied with the outcome. I hope Starlight enjoyed traveling alongside Empire Guards because she sure wasn’t going to be sharing the royal carriage with Trixie and me. We had other plans in mind for the trip!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

No comments and no art. Just an announcement:

I'm in America on holidays for the next couple of weeks and writing could be slowed down, so the next chapter might be delayed a little.

Chapter 49 - New Alliances

It quickly became apparent to us that Seaquestria’s capital was as big a city as its counterpart above the waves, and just as well populated. With so many seaponies around us, this compromised my secret alter-form, but as the marine forms of the hippogriffs were apparently just as big a secret, I reckoned that the knowledge would not spread far. Consequently, I got to enjoy my Celestial form’s greater strength and coordination while taking in the scenery with my wife.

Trixie positively gushed over the undersea realm with Novo as the queen showed us around before a servant came along to remind her that her regularly scheduled massage was due. The queen once more turned over sightseeing duties to her daughter which Skystar enthusiastically undertook after showing us her shell collection. They were pretty, but who gives pet names to seashells? That’s when I noticed one of them was trying to crawl away from me! The seapony princess tut-tutted, picked up the shell to reveal the mollusk inhabiting it, and gave it a stern talking to. Soon, she gave the little pet a few gentle strokes on its eye stalks then fed it a tiny sliver of fish that she apparently kept on hoof for just such occurrences. Because I remembered that some species of cone snails had highly toxic venom, I demurred when Skystar offered to let me play with her collection. I had no idea which ones had their own built-in booby traps—an idea that made Skystar and my wife laugh to no end.

The Princess took us out of the city and we encountered a huge school of tiny silvery fish. As we swam through their midst, I discovered to my delight that if I gently pushed water to the left or right, the whole school responded in a rippling wave, following the direction of my hoof. Trixie giggled as I orchestrated an entire impromptu dance of the shimmering fishes.

We got to see the kelp farms and oyster fields as well as a demonstration of how the seaponies caught fish in nets pulled by a team. It left no doubt in our minds that they were more than capable of feeding their entire population with seafood, but it begged the question – why? When Queen Novo rejoined us later, I sought to get an answer.

“Your Majesty, I believe that I speak for Trixie when I say that we’re extremely impressed with your undersea realm and we’ve seen how it can be self-sufficient. In fact, the entirety of your surface city could be evacuated down here without undue stress. Is this deliberate?”

The queen’s expression grew serious. “Indeed, you have guessed it. While we have been able to live both above and below the waves for much of our history, Seaquestria has long served as our defense against invasion. No hostile force can reach us down here. In fact, without the magic that I bestowed upon you with my necklace’s link to the Pearl of Transformation, even our close allies cannot visit this city. Our farms feed us in either form, so they are always ready to serve our needs if we are forced to take refuge down here. And that may be sooner than you think. Have you heard the reports of disappearances in the South lately?”

Trixie replied, “Yes, and they have been troubling. My husband has been working with the Royal Guard, the E.U.P. armed forces, and the Empire Guard to develop strategies to deal with potential threats. In fact, we were hoping that you might wish to join us in these efforts.”

Novo frowned. “My first duty is the defense and safety of my subjects. If we can offer help that won’t compromise our neutrality, then it may be possible. I know my friend, Princess Celestia, would do the same for us.”

I said, “That’s all we could ask for, Your Highness. I’ll arrange for somepony to come here to negotiate mutually agreeable terms after we return to Canterlot. Meanwhile though,” I gave Trixie a smile, “my wife and I are still on our honeymoon and we’ll put all that aside for the moment.”

Novo nodded. “I have arranged for a feast in your honor this evening. If you’d like to indulge yourselves until then, Skystar will ensure that you will not be late.”

“Sounds good to me although I have to ask if it’s going to be held down here or up above?” I inquired.

“I will be entertaining my Equestrian guests as Queen of the hippogriffs. It would seem odd if you both disappeared for the entire day.”

I chuckled. “Not to mention giving my personal bodyguard a heart attack. Since we effectively ditched her by coming down here, she’s going to be really pissed at me.”

Novo laughed and handed her necklace with the single pink pearl to her daughter. “Princess Skystar or I will be sure to transform her as well next time… if you survive her wrath.”

We put off the inevitable for as long as we could. Trixie enjoyed entertaining the foals (minnows?) with her magic while I played the part of her lovely assistant. Hey, if I had to be a mare down here, I might as well! Skystar led us deep underwater where the light from the surface could not reach. After teaching us how to dim the glow that our seapony bodies gave off, she carefully led us through a narrow sea cave. Several types of bioluminescent crustaceans scuttled out of our way as we traversed its length. The Princess was excitedly giving us a lecture about the little creatures with only the occasional one being snatched up and tossed in her mouth. It was both fascinating and a bit disturbing to witness how the live snacks barely slowed down Skystar’s bubbly commentary. In fact, a few small and not-quite-fast enough eels only caused a brief exclamation of “My favorite!” before her lecture continued.

After returning to the surface, Trixie and I got to race some friendly dolphins and following their example taught us how to breach the surface in long jumps. As we swam back to shore, Skystar promised more activities that we could indulge in tomorrow and we made a point of scheduling an early start to the day to squeeze as much in as possible.

Penumbra started to give me a blistering earful the moment my head poked above the surface. She must have been preparing the whole time we were gone because her language was much more colorful than usual. We might still be there except Skystar ‘helpfully’ turned Penny into a seapony as she was hovering above us while haranguing me. She fell into the sea with a squawk of surprise. Penumbra rose to the surface, sputtering in indignation.

“This is no place for a bat-pony!” she protested, struggling to keep her armored body at the surface.

“Well, if you insist on shadowing me, you’re going to have to live with it,” I told her smugly.

She narrowed her eyes. “I suppose somepony will have to help keep the stallions off you, Princess Mark.”

I poked my tongue out at her and replied, “I have a very possessive wife and I’m not afraid to use her.”

My spouse smirked. “Trixie’s husband better be a stallion again tonight or else she may trade him in for another.”

Penny gave her a fanged grin and said, “I might take you up on that. I always thought Mark looked hotter as a mare anyway.”

I rolled my eyes. If she was back to taking digs at me, she obviously had calmed down. I swam closer to the shore. “Can I have my legs back now, Skystar?”

The hippogriff princess transformed us all back into ponies and we stepped out onto the beach. Skystar then flew off to the palace to inform her mother that we were on our way. I was still in pegacorn form, but as a large proportion of the hippogriff population had already seen me in the seapony version, it didn’t bother me. Instead, I took advantage of it to carry Trixie quickly back to our suite before switching back to my normal form. We washed the salt from our coats, groomed each other, and prepared for dinner. With her secret already revealed, Trixie chose not to put on the artificial wings which Penumbra had rescued from the sea.

I insisted that Penumbra go off duty for the duration of the meal. Only after I gave a direct order did she finally relax and allow herself to enjoy the exotic dishes that were worthy of the royalty of any kingdom! A fatty piece of something resembling tuna wrapped in seaweed, raw oysters (including one suspiciously large pearl each found by Trixie and Penumbra), sliced and buttered crustacean steaks over bread (I didn’t want to think how huge the tail or claw was that it came from), a rainbow-hued caviar over sushi rolls, and a white fish that had been marinated in a salty dark sauce then brushed with a sweet glaze for the last few minutes on the grill. Penny was effusive in her praise, declaring each successive dish as the best seafood she had ever eaten. By the end, she lamented that it would be impossible to enjoy the once-frozen dreck that was the only moderately affordable option available in the capital of Equestria. Her mood brightened when Princess Skystar promised to give her bottles of the marinade and glaze.

I was a bit worried that my unicorn wife would not find the fish palatable, but she genuinely enjoyed each mouthful. Trixie insisted the castle’s Head Chef, named Butter Filet, come out to receive her justly deserved adulation. Privately, I wondered if Trixie’s former profession as an entertainer affected the choosiness of her palate. A performer just scraping by on the passion to follow her dream didn’t have the option to turn up her nose at any kind of food. And if a patron offered to buy the magician a meal, she had to make it disappear or risk upsetting an admirer and possible financial supporter.

Trixie offered Butter Filet the Royal Chef’s position in Canterlot, declaring that what the castle ponies needed was a break from their boring sense of culinary normalcy. Here, I had to put the brakes on my wife’s plans. Just because she loved seafood didn’t mean that every other pony in her employ would do the same. Queen Novo looked on in bemusement while my wife and I debated. This went on until the chef gently but firmly announced that she was very happy in her current position but would be open to doing an exchange at some point with her Equestrian counterpart. After Butter Filet left, I had a suspicious thought. “Trixie, this wouldn’t have anything to do with our co-regent’s opinion on seafood, would it?”

My wife’s eyes went wide and her smile grew three sizes that day. “Oh, Trixie had forgotten! Yes, an exchange program is an absolute must. But don‘t worry, Shark Farewells; Trixie knows how to keep our poor, gastronomically-deprived Princess distracted. She won’t think to ask what it was she ate until the meal is done.”

Wonderful. Somehow, I knew I would be taking the blame regardless of how this turned out.

After dinner, we all sipped a delightful sweet wine and sampled a fudge recipe that Princess Skystar herself had prepared. I tried very hard not to think about the food preferences the Princess had demonstrated and how that might have affected the ingredients used. Over dessert, I retold an edited version of the trip through alternate timelines and worlds that Twilight and I had endured. I spent the most time on the plague dimension where we had learned of the connection between seaponies and Queen Novo. As I related the percentages of males that survived for each species, Princess Skystar visibly wilted, her happy mood leaving her like a leaky balloon. For her part, the Seapony Queen was very upset at the prospect of her counterpart ruling over a devastated kingdom and began pacing.

“This is awful! The sheer virulence of the disease! I had no idea the scale of the disaster!” She took a couple of deep breaths and sat down. “I have Equestria to thank that the same will never happen here. By this time next week, the vaccines that you provided will have been given to all my subjects.”

Princess Skystar spoke up. “This portal you helped make from that dimension to the gender-swapped one – do you know for certain that seaponies exist in the second one?” I said that was what that realm’s Princess Trixie had told me.

Queen Novo nodded approvingly at her daughter then looked back to Trixie and me. “I will give you a scroll to be delivered to the Queen Novo of that unfortunate realm. Our nation will not allow them to go extinct for lack of virile males. Could Princess Twilight provide our realm with a portal to Mount Aris or their equivalent in that world?”

Here I had to check with Trixie. I didn’t feel comfortable making that call. She tapped her chin thoughtfully with a forehoof. “Given the gravity of the crisis, Trixie doesn’t have an objection, but Princess Twilight is the expert on portals and how to safeguard their use. For instance, how to secure against an invasion by a third party from the other dimension. Regardless, Trixie will open a dialog with my counterpart in the plague dimension to ensure your scroll is delivered.”

Probably not Trixie’s first choice of mare to speak to, but I knew she would follow through. Another reason why I loved my wife – she always put the needs of the common pony first, even if they weren’t under her rule.

While there was plenty of lighter after-dinner conversation, Trixie and I nevertheless elected to turn in early so that we could make the most of the next day before we had to start our journey back to Canterlot. Our honeymoon was drawing to a close soon, so we had to make the most of it. However, we took our time making love that evening. The night was balmy and the sea breeze was welcome as we reaffirmed our bond with each other.

The next day was filled with underwater activities, this time with Penny keeping us company. She had to leave behind the majority of her equipment and armor, but she still had a short sword strapped to her barrel which didn’t seem to slow her down at all. Skystar guided us to a couple of shipwrecks which we explored, swimming through the rents in the hull that had been their downfall. Because much of the ships’ contents was of no interest to the hippogriffs/seaponies, they were largely untouched since the day they sank. We found wooden furniture and tableware stacked in a hold of the second ship. The origin of the goods was solved when I found a Zebrican mask staring up at me from the ocean floor. I tried putting it on and turning to my companions but was disappointed by their reactions. Penny declared the nightmarish visage to be a marked improvement and Trixie said I looked exactly like that every morning. Even Skystar couldn’t keep a straight face… well… to be fair, she was almost always smiling, so it was just a matter of her giggling a bit longer than usual.

Diving into deeper and darker waters, we were shown vents that were spewing hot, mineral-rich clouds into the sea. Just like in the documentaries I’d seen back on Earth, they were a haven for a rich variety of lifeforms. Thankfully, Skystar didn’t eat any of these – tasted too strongly of sulfur, she said.

Back at the surface, we got involved with one of the local sports – dolphin racing. This particular type called Hackamore Dolphins had been bred specifically for the activity, and while there were professional jockeys, amateurs loved to hire dolphins and run races of their own. It was a lot more chaotic than horse race meetings on Earth, but a lot more fun. More so for Trixie though because, unlike me, she managed to stay on her mount.

After some lunch to stoke up our energy – fresh seafood, of course – we explored a coral reef and braved the perils of a deep-water canyon. Apparently, the giant moray-type eels there liked the taste of seapony, or so I was told. Not sure if I believed that or not, but we didn’t take any chances thanks to a contingent of guardsponies that kept us in the center of their formation. Although we saw some large eyes reflecting light back to us from nearby caves, they did not show themselves further. I guessed that the beasts were wary of the sparking bidents carried by the soldiers.

After that, it was back to the surface and a change back to our normal forms. We then did some windsurfing as the afternoon wind-shift became favorable for that activity. A couple of hippogriffs instructed us on technique. Trixie caught on immediately – clever mare. I found that being a pegasus gave me a great sense of the wind, but I was poor in putting it into practice. After Penny taunted my inability to travel more than a few yards without landing in the drink, I switched to Marklestia in frustration. I soon showed her how quickly and spectacularly I could crash in that form as well. It seemed that the sea might have been Celestia’s bane too because Queen Novo nearly died laughing when she witnessed me struggling to stand upright again on my board. I only succeeded in getting water shoved up every orifice as I was unceremoniously dragged across the surface. She practically fell over when I pulled my disheveled form out of the waves. Lesson learned – my alter ego wasn’t better at everything.

Trixie and I lounged on the beach afterwards and drank exotic concoctions while chatting with Novo. Then we took a dip in the sea to cool off before heading to the castle. As much fun as this had been, it was time to pack and say our farewells. There was a specially scheduled train arriving soon to take us back to Canterlot, and while it couldn’t leave without us, the train’s crew would not appreciate it if we delayed their departure.

Queen Novo invited us back when we could find the opportunity, and I hoped we would be able to take advantage of that someday. Trixie and I extended our wish that she and Princess Skystar would visit Canterlot in the near future so we could return their hospitality. The citizens of this realm truly had a wonderful lifestyle here, although I’d probably get a bit bored with it eventually. I needed the challenges that my role in Equestria brought. It sobered me to think that those responsibilities were now greater than ever since I had been elevated to the rank of prince. Fun-time was over and it was nearly time to get serious again. Fortunately, the trip back to Canterlot was long and Trixie and I could indulge in a lot of private time before being thrown back into the public eye once more.

We arrived in Canterlot around mid-morning on Monday. That gave my wife and I a chance to refresh ourselves, get updated on the week’s significant happenings, and have lunch with Twilight who had overseen the morning session of Day Court. We learned that Thorax had not yet emerged from his cocoon, but a visiting red changeling doctor declared him to be in good health and his re-emergence set to occur any day now. That’s when we gave Twilight our gifts for watching over Equestria while we were gone. I presented her with a signed copy of the hippogriff scientist Ebony Deep’s magnum opus ‘Exhaustive Compilation of Equus Sea Life Research,’ which wasn’t due to reach stores for another month. Trixie gave Twilight six flawless daggertooth scales from Princess Skystar’s personal collection; each was the size of an Equestrian bit and dwarfed any that Twilight and I had received from the plague dimension. It was very hard to tell which made the alicorn more excited as she hopped, pronked, and pranced around nonstop in her adorkable way. After the Princess left with her newfound loot, Moon Dancer thanked us profusely as the week had been much more stressful for Twilight than she would ever admit.

I had a present for Steady Flight too. I presented him with a bottle of a thousand-year-old Royal Reserve Crystal Berry Liqueur. Okay, technically it was only aged for eight, but you still wouldn't find anything like it elsewhere.

Then it was our turn to do the afternoon session. Stepping into the throne room, it was quickly apparent that one significant change had been made. There were now two thrones on the dais. I had always stood beside Trixie while she held court, but now I ranked equally with her. This hit me harder than anything else up until now as the real world pushed aside the surreal feelings I had been experiencing. Then the Sergeant-at-Arms made the announcement that sealed it.

“Day Court is now in session! Princess Trixie Lulamoon and Prince Mark Wells presiding!”

I gulped. It was just like my first day as Trixie’s Grand Vizier – sink or swim, Mark! I gave the first supplicant my best smile but let Trixie take the lead. As it turned out, we both fell back into our normal roles with Trixie skillfully extracting the relevant details while I analyzed them and offered her my recommendations. Our lifeline Raven Inkwell looked even more fashionable with her new pearl-encrusted mane band. As always, she supplied us with critical background information on the case before us. Trixie then pronounced the decision on our behalf. I started to relax – nothing had changed… wait… no, that was wrong. One important thing had changed. My wife’s promise ring glinted in the sunlight streaming through the stained glass, affirming our everlasting bond. As Trixie and I shared a quiet smile as the petitioner left, we both knew that we were now and forever a team and we were proud to show that to all of Equestria.

“Love you, my Princess,” I whispered to her before the next supplicant stepped up.

“Love you, my Prince,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.

We turned our attention back to the Court. Our Little Ponies awaited us.

The next morning’s schedule was slightly different. It was finally time to put Starlight Glimmer on trial. Because I was now a Prince of the Realm, calling in Cadance to fill the third judge’s position for the Supreme Court was unnecessary. Considering how busy they were with their young foal, I had no doubt that this was a welcome relief to her and Shining Armor. So, a third throne was brought in and Twilight, Trixie, and I occupied the dais while desks had been set up for the prosecutor and defender. Twilight had asked Moon Dancer to represent Starlight Glimmer and the mare had agreed. It turned out that Moon Dancer received a Doctorate in Juridical Science among her twelve degrees. Various royal legal departments were still trying to resolve the over two thousand contradictions and over seven thousand deficiencies in the Equestrian Legal Code that the unicorn mare had uncovered for her doctoral thesis. The Royal Counsel , an elderly unicorn stallion named Full Accountability, would represent the Crown’s side.

Starlight was brought into the court by two Royal Guards and led to a chair next to Moon Dancer’s where she was told to sit. Her guards then took a pace back and remained on alert for trouble from their charge. When everypony was settled, the Sergeant-at-Arms announced, “Court is now in session! The trial of the Equestrian Crown versus Starlight Glimmer will now commence! Prince Mark Wells, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, and Princess Twilight Sparkle will be presiding in judgement!”

“Thank you, Sergeant-at-Arms,” Trixie said. “Prosecutor – please read out the charges.”

The unicorn stallion stood up, lifted a scroll with his magic, and commenced reading. “The defendant is charged with treason, attempted regicide, first-degree murder, second-degree murder, ponyslaughter, attempted murder, multiple counts of theft of cutie marks, attempted brainwashing, enslavement through illegal cult activities….”

The pony droned on and Starlight visibly wilted the longer he spoke. While it would be next to impossible to prove some of the accusations, it was felt that Starlight needed to appreciate the full weight of her wrongdoing. In fact, I expected Moon Dancer to argue that all charges committed in alternate timelines and worlds should be thrown out for occurring outside of the space-time boundaries of Equestrian jurisdiction. The actual amount of culpability would be determined by this trial. We anticipated that this was going to require at least a week of two-hour hearings each weekday.

The prosecutor hadn’t quite finished reading all the charges when Moon Dancer suddenly spoke up.

“I beg the Court’s pardon, but my client’s cutie mark is doing something very strange.”

All eyes turned to Starlight who in turn craned her head around to look at her flank. Her cutie mark was visibly pulsing. She said, “What in Equestria…?”

Twilight gasped. “That’s the signal from the Cutie Map! Starlight has been summoned to deal with a Friendship Problem!”

“Aren’t there always at least two ponies assigned to those?” Trixie asked.

“Yes, but who’s the other?” Twilight replied.

I scratched at an irritating tingle in my haunches. “And why did it have to be now?”

Trixie turned to respond to me, stopped and stared, then snorted as she tried to contain a laugh. “Trixie thinks you may have to find that out for yourself.”

“What are you talking about…” I stopped as a horrible thought crossed my mind. Slowly, I turned my head to look at my cutie mark. It was pulsing in synchronization with Starlight’s. “Oh, you have got to be bucking kidding me!”

“That’s not appropriate language for a Prince of the Realm,” Trixie reproved me even as she tried unsuccessfully to smother a smirk.

Twilight said, “It doesn’t matter when it happens – you have to answer the call of the Map, Mark.”

“Seriously?” I groaned. “Me with her? Could you possibly think of a worse mismatch?”

“I have to disagree,” Twilight insisted. “You two fought well as a team in the zombified dimension. Lighten up, Mark! I don’t think the friendship problem will be anything that dangerous.”

My wife nodded. “The Great and Wise Trixie agrees. This trial is hereby postponed until the fulfilment of the Friendship Mission. Trixie wishes you good fortune, Bulwark Tramells.”

“Traitor,” I muttered sullenly as I got up to head over to where Starlight sat with a stunned expression. I had grabbed my folder with the trial materials so at least I’d have something useful to do. “Come on, Glim Glam. You and I have a date with a carriage to Ponyville.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Back to work for our protagonist – just not the kind he expected!

Art by Sin Ligereep.

Please help keep me in art money by buying me a Ko-fi!

Chapter 50 - Are You Being Served?

I was in a lousy mood as I headed for the main exit of the throne room. Just before I left, I saw somepony that gave me an idea. “Sterling Shield. You will be responsible for bringing the prisoner.”

To his credit, he didn’t show any surprise to his change of orders beyond a couple of blinks. He yelled out in best military style, “Yes, Your Highness!”

Not to my credit, I did flinch a bit. Might be a while before I got used to my new title. I called over my shoulder. “Sergeant Penumbra. Arrange for somepony to find out if Gusty Wind and Hardy Wings are on duty. Also, if there is a sky carriage available that can seat four.”

“Yes, Your Highness!” she barked, not a trace of sarcasm in her voice. That was another reason I valued her – 100% professional and uncompromising when it came to her official duties.

I didn’t think there was anything else I needed, and I didn’t care to ask if Starlight thought she was ready or not. The sooner we got this over with, the better. Behind me, I heard several sets of hoofsteps and assumed this was Sergeant Shield and other guards leading the prisoner, though I didn’t bother to check.

By the time we arrived at the skyport, Trixie’s two personal chariot pegasi were already hitched to a moderately-sized carriage. I noted how this design was different than the ones I had seen previously. Golden armor resembling small scales covered the bottom and sides. Over the open canopy, I could detect at least three hemispherical shields in place by the slight changes in their hue. Another set of the same shields covered a large space around the two pegasi. The royal carriage was identified as a weak point during the security brainstorming sessions, and this was my first chance to see the latest upgrades. I made a mental note to find out the specifics later.

I nodded to the two pegasi then did the same to a unicorn guardspony who used her magic to open the carriage door. The fields over the carriage winked out and I entered, taking a rear bench seat as I preferred to see where we were going. I was followed by Penumbra who sat next to me, then Starlight and Sterling who sat on the opposite bench. As the door closed, the protective shields reappeared and a squad of pegasi passed overhead to take the lead. Soon, we were soaring over the Canterlot skyline then angling slightly downwards on our way to Ponyville.

After a few minutes of silence, Starlight spoke up. “So… since we’ll be working together on this, would you tell me if you have been called on one of these missions before?”

“Once,” I replied. “It was to Our Town.”

Her eyes went wide, and then she looked down at the floorboards. The rest of the trip was spent in silence.

After we were ground-bound again, Starlight and Sterling Shield exited the carriage first. Before I could follow, Penumbra stopped me with a wing. Ah, of course. She had to inspect the area in front of Friendship Castle first.

She moved next to me and stopped, staring me in the eyes. “Friendship mission.”

After she stepped outside, I mulled that over. She might be right… OK, she almost certainly was right. My continuing therapy sessions with Cadance made me strongly aware that I was not ‘just fine’. Seeing the alternate timelines filled with death and misery had cemented my opinion of the prisoner and were doubtless coloring my current perceptions.

I sat for a few seconds and took some deep breaths. Clearing my head, I theorized why the Map Table had called on the two of us specifically to solve a friendship problem. I didn’t like the most probable answer. Starlight was going to become so important to Equestria’s future that the Forces of Harmony arranged a little adventure for us. They were preventing my ruling on her fate until I could get over my bias against her.

I took a few more deep breaths. I could at least try – try to treat her like any other pony.

When I left the carriage, nopony looked my way with a questioning look, wondering why I had taken so long. Royal prerogative, I suppose. Still, there was something I needed to do.

“Starlight.” She turned to look at me. “I’m sorry I’ve been a bit gruff this morning.”

The mare blinked with her mouth hanging open. She said, “Apology accepted.”

I nodded and started walking towards the castle’s main entrance. We found Spike waiting for us when we walked through the front doors.

“I’ve been expecting you, Mark.” The young dragon glanced at Starlight. “Although, I wasn’t sure about her. I thought I recognized the cutie mark but I couldn’t imagine the map teaming you two up. Just when you think you’ve seen it all.”

“Yeah – not my first choice for my second Friendship Mission. I gather you know where we have to go?” I asked as we headed for the map table room.

Spike smirked. “Yeah. You’re not going to like it.”

I sighed. “I already didn’t.”

We entered the room and I stepped between two of the thrones to see where our cutie marks hovered over the map. At this point, my cutie mark siren stopped flashing. Finally! Getting a good look at the ghostly image floating above the table, I growled and said, “Seriously?!”

Spike chuckled. “Told ya.”

I’d seen the cutie map (still don’t like that name!) in action a few times and knew that there would be no ambiguity. I glared at the magical image and my cutie mark and Starlight’s floating over our destination – Canterlot.

I closed my eyes, groaned, counted to ten, and then turned to Spike.

“Couldn’t you have sent a message to Twilight to let us know where to go?”

The drake shrugged. “I did, but it’s not as if I sit around here all day waiting for the map to send somepony on a mission. Judging by the time it took you to arrive after I noticed the map had activated, I reckon you were about halfway here already.”

It certainly wasn’t Spike’s job to watch the map all day, so I couldn’t argue about that. “Okay, if nothing else, we can narrow down the search area a little.”

After being sent to locations like Manehattan with no clue where to start, it was Twilight who discovered that if you mentally focused on the objective, the map would zoom in, making it much easier to find where to start looking for the Friendship Problem. I raised an eyebrow when the map settled on a particular location in the city. I turned to Starlight and said, “I hope you’re hungry.”

The mare gave me a curious look. “What makes you say that?”

“Our destination appears to be Restaurant Row.”

“How odd. Are you familiar with the area?”

“Not really. I never go there.”

Starlight sniffed with apparent disgust. “I suppose if you have a gourmet chef at your call, you don’t need to go to any restaurants.”

“Actually, I’ve been to plenty, several of them with my wife. We know a few places with house specialties that are always novel and appealing, and there are sometimes added attractions such as the theater restaurants which offer various forms of entertainment.”

The unicorn frowned. “But you just said you don’t go to restaurants.”

“No, I said I don’t go to Restaurant Row. That’s a section of town that’s full of high-class dining establishments that are focused on drawing their custom from the nobles and rich citizens. Snobbery at its finest. I prefer eating somewhere more warm and welcoming. Any place that attracts a large clientele from the common pony, sometimes despite its high prices, is far more likely to give me a pleasant dining experience. So far, both Trixie and I have had no cause for complaint… perhaps because we’ve been avoiding Restaurant Row. And as a bonus, we get to dodge suck-ups spoiling our dinner.”

Starlight snorted in amusement. “You truly are anything but refined, Your Highness.”

“Born and bred a commoner, and proud of it,” I replied as I turned back to the map to have another look at our destination. “But I suppose I’ll just have to grin and bear it this once. Bucked if I know what could be happening in the high-end food industry that requires our attention. Any ideas?”

“Don’t look at me – I always thought those establishments as classist. Too much – ‘separate us from them’ and the antithesis of equality.”

“Looks like we’re both going to find out what it’s like.” I looked at Starlight once more. “So, like I asked before – are you feeling hungry?”

“Actually, I am. I couldn’t bear to eat breakfast with my trial starting this morning. My appetite has come back now though.”

“Well, I don’t know how much eating will be involved, but let’s find out. Spike – could you let Twi and Trixie know what we’ll be doing?”

“Sure thing, Mark.”

“Thanks, pal.” I headed for the door but caught Penumbra’s eye. “Penny, any place you’d recommend?”

The bat-pony rolled her eyes. “You think that I could afford to dine anywhere on that street on my salary? And would this be a good time to ask for a raise? I’ve got a fillyfriend I want to take out to dinner or a show more often.” She had taken my cue to be more informal, which I counted as a good thing.

“You already get paid fifty percent more than you did as a normal Royal Guard. And you get extra perks too.”

“But I have to put up with you,” she said.

“That’s one of the perks,” I replied smugly.

“You are a majority of one, on that opinion. And you already know your wife would agree with me.” She stuck her tongue out and razzed me.

I noticed Starlight listening dubiously to our byplay and smiled to myself. Someone who fervently believed that ponies like me considered ourselves above such things was constantly having her preconceptions challenged.

We walked back to the carriage for our journey back to Canterlot. If nothing else, I was going to find out if snob food tasted any better than normal restaurant fare.

After the carriage lifted off, I made a command decision. I pulled the classified Incident Report from my trial folder and handed it to Starlight. “Read this.” As she hesitantly took it in her hooves, I said, “This is the trip report of everything Twilight and I experienced while chasing you through alternate timelines and parallel dimensions. I would like your honest reaction to this.” I flicked a glance at Sterling Shield and his eyes widened a bit. He nodded almost imperceptibly. Message received.

I said, “All of this material is not to be discussed except with properly cleared Equestrian personnel. Agreed?”

Starlight slowly nodded as she searched my eyes. “My defense materials included—”

I interrupted her. “… a redacted version that included only what was felt to be relevant for the trial. This is the complete report.” Well, maybe not one hundred percent complete. For example, there was no mention of Phillip Martine coming from my home dimension, and nothing relating to my counseling session with Cadance. But most everything was there.

I held up a forehoof. “Now repeat after me and follow the motions. ‘Cross my heart…’ .”

After she had completed the oath, I warned her that the consequences of breaking the promise would be dire and motioned for her to go ahead.

Starlight read through the report at an impressive clip, both ears going into waggling fits a few times (still don’t know what that body language means). When she was done, the pages were held limply in her hooves as she stared into space, processing the information. She ran a shaky hoof through her mane.

After a minute, she looked straight at me. “I’ll say this to Princess Twilight Sparkle as well. I’m very sorry for what I put you through.”

I swallowed and sat back, my emotions running all over the place. I didn’t trust myself to open my mouth. After several seconds, I settled down a bit. “Understood,” I said.

I waved my hoof for her to continue. Starlight said, “Ummm… Is there any way to know which realities are alternate timelines and which are completely independent dimensions?”

“Kind of. If Twilight has something from that world that weighs as much as a small book, she can try to open a dimensional portal. Her attempts with the plague-devastated and House Path worlds were successful. When she tried with Nyx’s home dimension and the realm with the nightmare creature, it was like there was nothing on the other side.”

She shuddered. “So the last dimension we visited…”

I nodded. “We didn’t take anything with us from there, so there is nothing to form an anchor on the other side. We even left the cupcakes and their boxes behind, although those likely came from the war dimension. In short, while we suspect that it was an alternate timeline, there is no way to know for sure.”

The unicorn was silent for some time. After a couple of minutes, she sat up straighter and tapped the report with a hoof. “How prepared is Equestria to face threats like these?”

“Currently? Not very. Twilight is leading research teams to develop countermeasures and some of the brightest and best military minds are coming up with tactical and strategic approaches when we identify a weakness.”

“Like the portals?”

I paused. “What do you mean?”

“Twilight has made a number of portals and you already have others, correct? How are you preventing an unfriendly entity from coming to Equestria through one of these? Or an army, for that matter?”

I nodded my head. “Twilight has been working on this problem herself. I … can’t say what steps she’s taken so far because I just don’t know.”

Starlight drew imaginary lines in the air with her hooves. “I recommend separating each of the portals, even if it is just with a forcefield. Have a few methods available to destroy the portal that can be triggered remotely, both by magic and purely physical means. Set up a multi-chamber system that prevents any being from leaving without being cleared. If they force their way through, the portal is destroyed behind them.”

An airlock. That was a good idea and had the advantage of being scalable to support multiple portals in the same room if clear shield spells were used.

Starlight might have taken my pause as me being judgmental or disapproving. She said, “I just want to help. Please.”

I cocked my head. “Can I believe you? How can I take you at your word?”

“I am telling the truth!” In my peripheral vision, I saw Sterling Shield nod his head slightly. “Look, you’ve already decided you can trust me with this.” She waved the mission report. “Test me. I want to start a new life. Let me pay back Equestria by working for her.”

I frowned. “Starlight, I just don’t know. What if you run into another idea that catches your fancy? You still strike me as the kind of pony that would be willing to kill to achieve your goals.”

She waved a hoof dramatically and said in a sarcastic tone, “Well, I guess we have that in common, don’t we?”

I stared out the side of the carriage. I had to look past Penumbra, who only had eyes for Starlight in the narrow confines of the interior. After a while, I said, “You might be right.”

Starlight Glimmer snorted. “So, this is Restaurant Row? Color me unimpressed.”

The carriage had touched down in a section obviously meant for parking such vehicles. There were several other teams of pegasi with their chariots already present, though none of the others consisted of Royal Guards. On our final approach, I saw slouches and hung heads spring to attention when they noticed us. I wondered if these teams were just another ostentatious show of wealth by the hoity-toity because these ponies were bored out of their minds. The four of us had emerged to find ourselves at the top of a street filled with shopfronts of similar design and coloration. None of them had any semblance of originality or distinctiveness. They even all had the same sign hanging outside their front doors that bore three horseshoes. I had to agree with Starlight’s assessment.

“Any idea what those signs mean?” I asked, looking at the two Guards.

Both Penny and Sterling shook their heads.

I noticed a diner emerging from one of the restaurants. Recognizing the stallion as one of the minor nobles whom I’d met in Court, I approached him. “Good day to you, Argent Streak. May I have a word with you?”

“Prince Mark Wells! What a pleasure to see you here, Your Highness. What can I do for you?”

“My companions and I are visiting Restaurant Row for the first time and I wouldn’t mind a brief overview of the dining experience here. What would you recommend and why? And what is the significance of those signs?” I asked, pointing to the nearest.

“I must say, sire, that I am surprised that you have never dined here before. A pony of your standing would do well to patronize these establishments, each of impeccable quality. Those signs are a guarantee that they have been three-hoof rated by the noted food critic, Zesty Gourmand. Only those restaurants meeting her exacting standards gain the right to display that mark of excellence.”

“I see. And you come here to dine regularly?”

“At least twice a week. Anypony in our social echelons should be seen to frequent only the finest restaurants in Canterlot.”

Translation – if you wanted to be considered an important pony, you had to be seen in the most socially acceptable places on a regular basis. I gave Argent a small smile. “Thank you for the advice, My Lord Streak.”

“You’re most welcome, Your Highness.”

I turned back to my companions after he had walked off. “What do you think of that?”

Starlight sniffed disdainfully. “Worse than I thought. That stallion talked about how superior everything is without even mentioning what is so good about them. And they all seem to rely on the opinions of a single pony to determine what is acceptable. This is classic snobbery at its worst and it has all the hallmarks of one cult leader controlling all the restaurants in town. Trust me – I would know.”

“Can’t say that my impressions are much better. Okay, let’s find out what all the fuss is about. I trust your contempt hasn’t dulled your appetite?”

Starlight’s stomach chose to gurgle just as she was about to reply. I smirked as she rolled her eyes. “'Nuff said. Let’s go in here just because it’s the nearest.”

I led the way into the restaurant. The Maitre D’ was there to greet me at the door and he smiled obsequiously in recognition.

“Your Highness! Welcome to the Camellia Garden. How many in your party?”

“Four,” I replied just as the two Guards followed us inside.

The stallion regarded the two with a faint sneer. “I see. Would you and the lady prefer separate seating?”

I already didn’t like this place. “Surely you would not seek to compromise my personal safety by separating me from my guard detail?” After seeing his panicked look, I cut him off before he could spew out an apology. “No, we’ll all dine together.”

The slightly more polite stallion led us to a table in a corner. I did not fail to notice that the Maitre D’ seated me so that I could be seen prominently by anypony in the restaurant while Penny and Sterling were obscured by the décor… such as it was. Unnecessary drapes covering sections of wall. Uncomfortable couches instead of chairs. Childish paintings of a single shape masquerading as artwork. And everything slavishly adhering to a washed-out color palette. We were given menus and I opened mine to peruse it. I was shocked by how few choices there were, and there weren’t prices next to any of them. I recalled the saying – if you have to ask the cost, you can’t afford it. That wasn’t a problem for me but it raised the bar for my expectations astronomically.

…Or was it gastronomically? … Probably both!

“Choose whatever you like – I’ll pay the tab,” I assured everypony.

“I don’t even know what I’d be ordering,” Penny said as she glared at the fancy script. “What is… umm… peau de tofu avec festin d'aneth et de haricots?” she asked, struggling with the pronunciation.

I recognized maybe two words in that sentence. “That’s French, I mean Prench for whatever meal they’re serving. Whatever it is, it has tofu in it… I think.”

“What’s the point of writing menus in a language we don’t understand?”

“It makes nobles feel superior,” Starlight replied with a sneer.

“Let’s give it a chance. We’re here to find out why the Cutie Map thinks there’s a Friendship Problem to solve, and right now we have next to nothing to go on.”

“I suppose,” Starlight conceded. She pointed to something with a lengthy description. “I’ll have whatever this is. At least there seems to be a lot of it.”

I chuckled. “Sounds good. I’ll try it too and we can compare our opinions.”

“I’ll stick to this tofu thing,” Penumbra decreed. “At least I can pronounce that.”

Sterling, whom I knew didn’t eat much food due to being a changeling who fed on positive emotions, said, “I’m not very hungry. This looks small, so I’ll try that.”

A waitress came just then and asked us what we wanted to drink. “We have a selection of fine wines from Prance and Roam. Shall I fetch the sommelier?”

“No alcohol,” I replied. “The Guards are on duty and we’re on a mission. Do you have coffee?”

“This is a three-horseshoe rated restaurant, not a café,” the mare replied with a sniff.

“Just water all round then,” I said.

“Sparkling, still, or mineral?”

“Glass of!” Penumbra said snidely before I could reply.

“Still will do,” I said before the waitress could react. “We’re ready to order our meals also.”

“I’ll take your orders after I bring your drinks,” the mare replied and left huffily.

“Why couldn’t she take them now?” Starlight asked irritably.

I rolled my eyes. “For some unknown reason, high-end restaurants make you wait. I suspect wasting the diners’ time is part of the ambiance section of the horseshoe rating system. Plus, we’re not the kind of customers she’s used to dealing with.”

Despite the relative lack of other diners, it took a ridiculous amount of time to get our glasses of water during which we had nothing better to do than look at the décor. It was just as bland and uninspiring as the outside of the establishment. When our drinks arrived, they were in fancy but small goblets which probably didn’t hold enough water to satisfy any of us, disguised changeling included. I didn’t dare ask for more in case it took another several minutes before we could order the food.

The waitress had an ill-concealed sneer on her face as Starlight struggled with the pronunciation of the chosen dish, although I noticed she was far more respectful to me when I said that I’d have the same. Even supercilious wait-staff know better than to aggravate a Prince of the Realm, apparently. It was back to form though when Penny ordered her “tofu thing”. Something about Sterling’s expression when he ordered his menu item seemed to cause the mare to rein in her attitude though.

Then we waited.

And waited.

“This better be the best food I’ve ever tasted,” Starlight said with some exasperation.

I quietly agreed. It wasn’t as if the restaurant was particularly busy at the moment. I imagined that the nobles who frequented this restaurant must use the time to discuss things of importance to them if my observations of the other patrons were typical.

At last, the waitress came out with two covered dishes. Placing them on the table, she lifted the lid on the one in front of me and proudly and flawlessly pronounced the name of the dish. I blinked and stared. I had no idea what I was looking at but several things stood out. One – they were very pretty. Two – I still had no idea what they were. Three – they were very small.

I looked at the waitress. “I didn’t realize we’d be getting appetizers first. When is the main course coming?”

The mare looked faintly outraged. “Sir, those are the main course.”

“Are you bucking kidding me?” Starlight blurted out.

“I assure madam that this is our finest example of gourmet cooking as approved by Zesty Gourmand. We take pride in serving only the most carefully crafted meals in this establishment.”

“Let’s see what mine looks like,” Penny demanded.

The waitress uncovered the second dish to reveal two more minuscule works of art. “I trust that this meets madam’s expectations.”

Penny raised an eyebrow and looked the mare in the eyes. “Do you think this is enough to keep up my energy while I’m on duty?”

“Madam did order the feast,” the waitress replied.

I said, “I take it the rest of the meals will be along shortly?”

She looked at me like I was from another world.

I continued, “You’ve only brought out two of them, correct?”

After a pause, the mare laughed gaily. “Oh, Your Highness! You are just too funny!” She levitated four clean dinner plates to rest in front of us, then floated the two sets of two white porcelain boards up from the serving platters. “Of course your meals were all brought out at once!” She proceeded to place one board onto each of our plates. I had not noticed that there were actually two sets of three minuscule servings placed in front of me earlier. Wonderful. Now on half-rations, such as they were.

I regarded Penumbra’s ‘feast’ of three beans, two sprigs of dill, and a morsel of tofu almost with envy. Sterling’s meal consisted of a single olive artfully balanced on a slice of cucumber.

“Well, I did say I wasn’t very hungry,” Sterling said with a half-smile.

The waitress disappeared before we could voice any further objections. I looked around and shrugged helplessly. “Bon appetit?”

“I hope that means ‘No tip’,” Penny grumbled before she flicked out her tongue and made her ‘feast’ disappear.

“Penny, Penny, tut tut tut. Do try to use your utensils. One must keep up appearances in this level of establishment.” I said with a haughtily cocked eyebrow. Then I dropped the act and frowned. “Because we’re definitely not going to be doing much actual eating here.” I returned to Penumbra’s implied question. “Sadly, these kinds of places load the tip into the price of the meals.”

“So we’re doubly screwed?” Starlight asked.

“Stop complaining – you’re not the one paying for it.”

Starlight sighed and ate the… whatever. I followed suit. I honestly can say that I still have no idea what I just ate, but it was awfully bland.

“Can we leave now and find somewhere that sells cuisine and not sculptures?” Starlight asked.

“Just as soon as we get the check,” I replied.

“And how long are we going to have to wait for that?” Penny asked.

“An excellent question. Let’s motivate them.” I stood up and the others quickly did the same. I headed for the exit with the rest of my entourage following. The Maitre D’ stopped us at the door.

“Has Your Highness forgotten something?”

“Nope. Send the bill to the castle. I’ll make sure it gets paid just as fast as we were served today. Good day to you, my little pony.” Okay, for once I didn’t feel silly using that traditional phrase. It was good to be the king… er... prince!

That got a laugh out of Starlight as we left the restaurant. “What a jerk. Now, can we find someplace that actually serves food?”

I looked around at the several alternatives left. “An excellent question. Where shall we try our luck next?”

We selected the next restaurant very scientifically – eenie, meenie, miney, moe…

“Weren’t we just in here?” Starlight asked.

I almost wondered the same thing. The décor, while not identical, was only varying in minor changes. Round art shapes on the wall instead of square. Lavender drapes with teal table accessories instead of the inverse. That sort of thing. And the staff – different ponies but exactly the same uniforms and attitude. And the menus….

“Sweet Celestia, not again!” Starlight protested.

Much too much later, we emerged from the restaurant.

“I’m still hungry,” Starlight complained.

“I swear they share the same kitchen,” Penny said as she scowled at the establishment adjacent.

“I suppose we could try another place,” I suggested.

“As long as you keep paying,” Penny replied.

“They can’t all be this bad,” Starlight decided as she chose a restaurant across the street and headed for it.

I shrugged and followed. The moment that I stepped inside, I knew we were doomed. Diamond shaped art objects and gold drapes this time, but otherwise, the restaurant might as well have been stamped from the same mold as the other two.

Starlight sighed. “I’m going to starve to death surrounded by restaurants, I just know it.”

“What’s with these places?!” Penny grumbled as we left behind yet another disappointing dining experience. “Our bodies are burning more energy waiting for the food than we’re getting from it. Maybe this is why it is so fashionable for rich mares to be skinny… they don’t have a choice!”

“I don’t know,” Starlight replied, “but our Friendship Mission surely can’t be more of this.”

“You’re right, Glim Glam. We’re missing something. I think we’ve been going about this all wrong. Let’s scope out the entire street and see if we can spot something.”

“Anything’s better than going into another of these food art museums,” the unicorn grumped.

I headed off down the street with the other three in tow. I looked around carefully but saw nothing but shop after shop bearing that same three-hoof sign. The terrible sameness of them was depressing although I could understand why the nobles patronized them, and it definitely wasn’t for the food. They were places to be seen in the company of their peers that said – “I am wealthy and important” – and nothing more.

We were about three-quarters down the street when a magnificent odor wafted past my nostrils. I sniffed in deeply, savoring the scent, and my mouth started to water. With my nose raised, I chased the smell around the corner into a narrow alley. It widened into a cul-de-sac that had another restaurant at the end, but one that bore absolutely no resemblance to its neighbors. A sign with the head of an elephant holding a spoon in its trunk surmounted the door through which the heavenly odor was emerging.

“Ladies and gent, I think we’ve struck the jackpot,” I said as I trotted forward eagerly.

“There’s a blank rating sign on it,” Sterling observed.

“A point in its favor, I reckon,” Penny replied, obviously just as captivated by the scent as I was.

Starlight said, “I’ve never smelled anything like it before, but it’s already my favorite meal!” She was even swishing her tail around happily!

We stepped inside and gazed in awe at the décor. I didn’t know what the culture would be called here in magical talking pony world, but on Earth, I would call it Indian. Colorfully patterned drapes and ceiling hangings complimented the art featuring elephants, exotic flowers, and more. Comfortable cushioned stools and large overstuffed chairs were set around tables bearing candlelit lanterns. I loved it!

No one whatsoever was in the place, so I chose a table and sat down. The others quickly followed suit.

“Strange that this place is empty of customers,” Penny commented.

“I hope that doesn’t say anything about the food,” Starlight replied. “No rating, remember?”

Just then, an orange unicorn mare with a marvelous flouncy mane and golden jewelry walked in from the kitchen. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing us there, but that rapidly changed to a beaming smile.

“Welcome to the Tasty Treat. My name is Saffron Masala and I am the chef here. Can I interest you in today’s specials?”

Starlight replied, “Saffron – if they’re what I smell right now, I’m very interested.”

Saffron’s smile broadened. “We have a curried oatmeal cake or a grass sandwich marinated in a mustard Dijon dressing.”

“I’m not sure what that is…” Starlight began.

“She’ll have one of each for starters,” I interrupted. “In fact, same for the rest of us.”

Penny gave me a curious look but said nothing. Saffron said, “Wonderful! I’ll have those out for you in just a moment.” She then hastened back into the kitchen.

“I know that scheming look. What is it that you’re not telling us?” Penny asked.

I gave them all a confident smile. “If this is what I think it is, you’re gonna love it.”

As we waited, a full-figured unicorn stallion emerged from the back and started stacking stools on the tables, grumbling under his breath. He was startled when he saw us sitting there but then resumed his task.

“Pardon me, but do you work here too?” I asked, wondering why he seemed to be closing up the place in the middle of the day.

“I am Coriander Cumin. I am the host. My daughter cooks.”

Short and to the point, I suppose. “Did we come at a bad time? We thought you’d be open for the day.”

“No point in staying open when there are no customers.”

“Father! Stop closing the shop up around our guests!” Saffron had come out of the kitchen bearing several plates in the glow of her magic. She laid them on the table as she glared at her dad.

“The only guests we’ve had for days! Once they leave, we may as well close. Nopony else will be coming in.”

“Well, your attitude isn’t going to bring anypony in!”

I said, “But this meal should. Dig in, everypony!” The plates were laden with far more food than expected, even forgetting about the traumatizing portions we had experienced so far today. I recognized naan bread accompanying the order too.

Everyone eagerly began chowing down, even Sterling for whom food was an indulgence rather than a necessity. That said more about the meal than almost anything else.

“Thiff iff derishish!” Penny exclaimed with her mouth full and a piece of naan bread skewered on a fang.

I had to agree, but I was distracted by the continuing bickering between father and daughter.

“Can’t you at least pretend to be positive?” Saffron asked, marching up to her dad.

“What is the point? Nopony here wants to try anything new or different. I know when to throw in the towel.”

“Maybe if you would listen to my ideas for once…”

“Oh, yes! I would never listen to my daughter for whom I moved halfway across Equus to start this restaurant.”

I nudged Starlight. “Hey, Glimmy – are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

The mare stopped stuffing her face long enough to say, “Friendship Problem?” Then she resumed eating.

I nodded as I watched the two arguing. “Yep. I think we finally found it.”

“Great, but can it wait until after the meal? Scratch that. Can it wait until after this course?”

I overheard Coriander say, “We can’t even get Zesty Gourmand to rate our restaurant! She took one look at the empty room and said it wasn’t worth her time.” I took a bite of the curried oatcake and decided that if the other restaurants were any indication of the food critic’s tastes, a rating by her wasn’t the only path to the restaurant’s success. All it really needed was some good advertising. I would have to think about it more… later. Damn, this food was amazing.

The two were still squabbling when I finished my serving. I was in the mood for more and I was sure Starlight would be too. I wondered if the menu here extended to what I knew of Indian cooking back on Earth and I had an idea. A positively evil idea, so naturally, I had to do it.

I got up from the table. “I’m going to try to get our hosts to stop fighting for long enough to take our order for more food.” By now, Saffron and Coriander had bickered their way back to the kitchen door and I managed to catch them just as they went inside. Perfect! “Excuse me, but my friends and I would like to order another course.”

Both of them looked a little shocked but Saffron recovered quickly and smiled with delight. “Certainly, sir! Do please pardon us for neglecting you.”

“It’s okay. I’m reminded of a dish that I tried once before in a foreign land called chicken vindaloo. Would you happen to serve that here?”

Now that certainly surprised them.

Coriander spoke up hesitantly. “We do, sir, but are you aware of its ingredients?”

Saffron added, “We had griffon customers in mind when we put that on the…” She looked around as if to see if there were any witnesses. “… special menu.”

“If you’re trying to gently tell me that it actually contains chicken meat, I’m well aware of that fact, just as I’m aware that we ponies can eat modest amounts of meat and it’s a valuable source of protein in some places.” I had learned my lesson way back when I first arrived in Equestria that ponies couldn’t eat large steaks, but I had been wrong concluding that we couldn’t eat meat at all. After discovering that pegasi were fond of seafood, I subsequently learned that judicious amounts of some meat, in particular, lean types, were actually good for us.

Saffron brightened. “I would be happy to cook some for you then.”

“Make that four servings, but keep it reasonably mild. My companions might be a little taken aback by a full-strength vindaloo.”

“I understand, sir. It will take a little while to prepare though. Could I interest you in something in the meantime?”

“That would be great. Something to nibble on while we wait – maybe pakora or samosas; I’m not a huge fan of papadum. Oh – and hot tea if you have it?”

Coriander said, “It will be my pleasure to serve those for you, sir. If you would return to your table, I will have them out shortly.”

I nodded and left, pleased with the outcome. I’d stopped the bickering for now, got us more food, and set my prank in motion. I sat down at the table with a smile on my face.

“What are you so happy about?” Starlight asked.

“I’ve ordered some more food. I think you’ll like it. It’s a bit spicy but very flavorful.”

“My tongue is still comatose from the horrible bland stuff that we ate at the other restaurants. See?” Penny then proceeded to demonstrate exactly how long her tongue was, which I had to admit to myself was fairly amazing. Personally, I suspect she just wanted an excuse to stick out her tongue at me – all of it. She continued, “I think I would enjoy something with a bit of zing.”

“It’ll take a little while for it to be prepared, but I’ve asked for something to snack on while we wait. Meanwhile, we can discuss the Friendship Problem.”

“Did you have anything in mind?” Starlight asked.

“Well, it seems to me that their biggest problem is that they lack the stupid three-hoof rating needed to draw in customers, but if it’s endorsement they need, perhaps a prince extolling the virtues of the food here while ‘casually’ chatting with the nobles will make a difference.”

Starlight frowned. “A handful of nobles won’t sustain this business, and you don’t know that the snobs will like this type of food anyway. No, what this place needs is a lot more of the common ponies who will pass the word around and bring in their friends.”

“But will they even come in the first place? It seems to me that this whole street thrives on its reputation based on those signs out there. We need the nobles to come and try the food so that this Zesty critic can consider the restaurant worth her time and give it a rating.”

“Ratings don’t bring in repeat business – good food does! Celestia knows how much I appreciated it even while I was in the dungeon. Prison fare was much better than the meals in Our Town. Yeah, I’m aware whose fault that was, but that means I also know what I’m talking about. And how do you plan to go about changing this critic’s mind? She seems to have everything under control exactly the way she wants it right now.”

I was about to argue more but Coriander arrived just then with a tray heaped with samosas and another with a teapot and four cups. In his magic, he floated over clean plates and two ramekins for each of us. Looking inside and taking a sniff, I recognized mint and tamarind sauces. He placed it all on the table and said that he hoped that we would enjoy them before leaving us.

“Will you pour tea for us, Glimmy?” I asked.

The unicorn nodded and started that task while I took a couple of samosas from the tray. “Help yourselves, but keep in mind that another course is coming.”

Penny needed no urging and quickly ate a couple of them before taking the cup of tea that Starlight passed to her. “I’ve never drunk tea before, but then again, I’ve never eaten this awesome food before, so I’m all for trying new things in this place.”

While we ate and drank, I mulled over what Starlight had said. While I was still convinced that getting this place rated was a priority, what Glimmer had said also made sense. It just irked me that it was her telling me this.

Despite some self-restraint, the samosas were finished before the vindaloo was ready so we discussed the food served to us so far. The unanimous opinion was that the restaurant deserved its name, Tasty Treat, and it was a shame that nopony had looked past its lack of a three-hoof rating to give it a try.

Coriander Cumin eventually turned up with four servings of the chicken vindaloo and placed them on the table in front of us. Each plate also held a generous scoop of basmati rice and three more quarter-sections of naan, although this time the bread smelled of the garlic that was baked in. “As requested, I have prepared the vindaloo with only mild spiciness, but I must still warn you if you have not sampled a vindaloo before, it may still have more kick than you may be used to. Please enjoy!”

Knowing what a full-strength vindaloo was like, I wasn’t surprised at all that the mild version still had ‘kick’ as Coriander warned. Nevertheless, it tasted just as marvelous as all the other food. I watched as Starlight’s eyes bulged as the heat hit her, but after a gulp of tea, she soldiered on. Penny also looked a little shocked, but she only grinned and dug in with gusto. Sterling was the wildcard I couldn't predict . The changeling sense of taste was different from that of ponies, so I wasn’t sure how he would react. I saw him raise an eyebrow and look at the dish keenly before smiling and continuing to eat, apparently savoring each mouthful.

When everypony had finished, I asked, “Well? What did you think?”

Sterling smacked his lips with satisfaction and said in an almost surprised tone, “I really liked that. So much more flavorful than typical pony fare. Can I get another order in a to-go box?”

How about that? All this time and we never knew that it took something really spicy to stir their taste buds. “Sure,” I replied. “Would you like to try the full-strength vindaloo?”

“Sounds good to me. I like this version of their bread as well. I can’t wait to tell my friends about this, or better yet, share it with them.”

I guessed that the Tasty Treat might be getting a few more changeling customers if they all reacted the same way as Sterling did.

Penny said, “I’ve never had anything so bitey before. Damn good though.”

“Good doesn’t begin to describe it,” Starlight gushed. “I was caught off guard by how hot it was, but the rich texture and flavors were awesome! Do you know what goes into a… vindaloo, was it?”

I searched my memory. “Umm… I’m not exactly an expert on this, but I believe it contains tomatoes, onions, ginger, garlic, chilies, and a couple of other things. Oh, and I almost forgot one of the most important ingredients – meat.”

Starlight’s eyes snapped open wide and she stared at me in shock. “M-meat?”

“Yes, chicken in this case, but you can make it with other kinds.”

Starlight’s hoof flew to her mouth. “I… think I’m going to be…” She got up from the table and started tottering away. She made about five steps before collapsing in a dead faint.

“Tch! Some ponies just can’t handle their vindaloos,” I said with a smirk. I turned back to the table to see Penny staring levelly at me with a huge, fanged grin on her face. I tried to stare back but eventually caved. “What?”

After a bit more of a pause, the bat-pony said, “I didn't think you had it in you. That seals it. I'll be naming my first foal after you.”

I blinked a few times and then smirked. “And what if it's a filly?”

Penumbra waved a hoof dismissively. “I reckon ‘Hey, Dumbass!’ works just as well for either gender.”

This actually got the stoic and normally disaffected Sterling Shield to fall off his chair, laughing. I shook my head at how well I had been set up. The Queen of the Jab strikes again!

I got up from the table. “Sterling – would you mind picking up Ms. Delicate Flower and taking her outside? Penny, you can accompany them. I’ll arrange Sterling’s to-go box and settle the bill.”

The changeling Guard levitated Starlight in his magic and exited the restaurant followed by a chuckling Penumbra. I was about to go to the kitchen door when Coriander came out. He noticed with dismay that Sterling was levitating the unconscious unicorn.

“Oh dear! I do hope the young mare is alright.”

“Don’t worry, Mister Cumin – Starlight is prone to fainting occasionally.” I placed the to-go order and while Saffron Masala was preparing it, I paid the bill and gave Coriander a generous tip. That done, I turned to one more important task. “Coriander – the food that you serve here is a welcome addition to Restaurant Row, but I understand your position due to the lack of custom. I heard that you intend to close up shop because of it. I’m asking you to withhold that decision because my friends and I intend to bring in more customers. In fact, we’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that we can come back and savor Saffron’s cooking again and make your restaurant a success.”

“That is most generous of you, sir, but we have already tried very hard to bring in customers. Zesty Gourmand’s refusal to consider rating our restaurant discourages everypony from even giving us a chance.”

I smiled. “Perhaps you need someone with a bigger reputation than a food critic to extol your virtues. You haven’t recognized me at all, have you?”

“I humbly beg your pardon, sir, but indeed, I do not know you.”

“Not unexpected for newcomers to Canterlot. I am Prince Mark Wells, husband to Princess Trixie Lulamoon.”

The portly stallion’s eyes widened in shock. “Your Highness! Please forgive the rudeness with which we have treated you—”

I held up a hoof to stop him. “It’s okay, Coriander – I came here on a personal mission, not royal business. I don’t expect everypony to recognize me on sight. But it does mean that I have some authority to back up my attempts to help you out. So – will you stay open for now?”

“I am humbled by your patronage, Your Highness. We will keep the restaurant open as you wish.”

“Great! And here’s Sterling’s vindaloo. Nice timing, Saffron.”

“I overheard what you said to my father,” the mare said as she passed the box to me. “You have my thanks too, Your Highness.”

“You’re welcome. But as this isn’t royal business, just call me Mark. My wife is the stickler for titles.” I gave them a wink and a grin before heading out of the shop.

Starlight was woozily getting to her hooves when I emerged back onto the cul-de-sac. “Good to see you conscious again, Glim Glam. Come on – we’ve got work to do.”

She gave me a death-glare. “You set me up!”

“Yeah. Kind of makes up for a lot of what you did to me and Twilight, don’t you think? And a lot less fatal too, despite what you used to think of meat.”

“You’re a barbarian!”

“That’s Prince Barbarian to you. Besides, you don’t see either Penumbra or Sterling Shield complaining, do you? Saffron and Coriander don’t cook it just to make their customers queasy. Broaden your mind a little, Glimmy. Admit it; you’re just angry because you have an unreasonable bias against your favorite dish.”

Starlight opened and closed her mouth a few times. I think she was trying to deny it but couldn’t make herself believe those words. Eventually, she frowned and settled for: “Whatever. Can we get back to our mission?”

“Certainly. I intend to go back to the castle and make myself available to all those nobles who keep wanting to ingratiate themselves with me. I’ll extol the virtues of the Tasty Treat and prod them to give it a try as the latest sensation of Restaurant Row.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “So, you want to turn it into another of these carbon copy shops that exist just for their snob value? What next? Redecorate the Tasty Treat like the other restaurants so Zesty Gourmand won’t ignore it?”

“What kind of idiotic idea is that? Can't you come up with anything better?” I replied.

Before Starlight could say more, Penny interrupted. “Can you two stop bickering long enough to solve the Friendship Problem?”

“We’re going to do our best to smooth out the tension between father and daughter,” I assured her.

“Yeah, we’re just getting started. We really want to help Saffron and Coriander’s relationship,” Starlight added.

Penumbra gave us a level stare. “I wasn't talking about them.”

Oh. “Touché, Penny. Okay, Starlight – what did you have in mind?”

“The only way the Tasty Treat will survive and thus take the pressure off Saffron and Coriander is to bring in large numbers of repeat customers, not just the occasional visit from a noble trying to make an impression. What they need is a massive publicity campaign. Make ponies look beyond the three-hoof ranking system and tempt them to try something different. Once they’ve tasted Saffron’s cooking, they’ll be hooked.”

“Do you really think it can sustain itself against the relentless peer pressure of the rating system though? Where I come from originally, restaurants can live or die by their online customer ratings.”

Starlight gave me a puzzled look. “Sometimes, I really can’t figure you out, Prince Mark. You come up with some very strange comments. What’s an online rating?”

I shook my head. “Never mind – it’s not applicable here. Still, reputation is important.”

“Then go ahead and do your thing and let me do mine. You can leave me with Sterling Shield to watch me, can’t you?”

I glanced at the Royal Guard who gave me a reassuring nod. “Okay, let’s do that. Good luck!”

Ever beat your head against a wall repeatedly? It’s only marginally more painful than trying to persuade arrogant snobbish nobles to try something that doesn’t fit their perfect world. Almost every one of them asked one question first – “What is its hoof rating?” I got a few vague promises to give the Tasty Treat a try but I doubted that they were sincere. Only Fancy Pants was genuinely intrigued and said he’d bring his wife, Fleur de Lis, that evening. I had better luck with Raven and some of the other castle staff, but while that would bring the restaurant some much-needed custom, it wouldn’t be hitting my goal of getting it an elite reputation. I eventually gave up on trying any more that day and went back to Restaurant Row to see how Starlight was doing.

I found the unicorn sitting dejectedly at one of the tables in the Tasty Treat, commiserating with Saffron Masala over some tea and a snack. Coriander was standing behind the counter at the back of the room. Starlight looked frazzled and just as frustrated as me. Penny and I sat down beside them. “You look like you want to strangle somepony, glimmy. Good thing I left Sterling with you.”

She gave a growl of frustration. “It’s also a good thing that I have these horn rings on or else I might use my magic to rip all those stupid signs off the shops. Almost everypony who comes to Restaurant Row does so based on its reputation for the impeccable rating of all its restaurants. I’ve been approaching ponies in the street all afternoon extolling the Tasty Treat’s virtues and I can get plenty of ponies interested. Then they see the blank rating sign and have second thoughts. Frankly, Coriander and Saffron should never have set up their business here. I’m sorry, Saffron, but if you thought you were going to get a lot of customers because of the restaurant’s location, I’m afraid you got it horribly wrong.”

Saffron Masala’s ears drooped and she looked glum. Slowly, she nodded her head in agreement.

I sighed and my own ears wilted with the news. “So, both our approaches have failed. I couldn’t persuade many of the nobles either. I don’t know where to go from this point.”

“Oh, for buck’s sake!” Penumbra growled. “You’re a pair of dumbasses, you know that?”

I turned and stared at the bat-pony. “What in Tartarus are you talking about?”

She jabbed the claw of her leathery wing at me. “You’ve got the rep.” The claw shifted to Starlight. “You’ve got the gift of the gab.” She spread her wings dramatically. “Do I really need to point out that if you work together, you might be able to overcome your problem?”

I looked at Starlight and she seemed just as thunderstruck as me. The map table had sent the two of us on this mission, but we’d been acting as separate agents instead of as a team. We were both to blame for this – me for my attitude towards Starlight and she for her contempt for the elite which I represented. That changed right now.

“Glimmy – truce? I think we can do this.”

She nodded. “Yeah. How do you want to go about it?”

“First – I need props. I’m going back to the castle. Meanwhile, you visit the other restaurants and inform the owners that the royal couple is officially giving the Crown's first stamp of approval to one of the shops on Restaurant Row. Spin it as if I’ve been quietly appraising them all and have come to a decision. Grab their attention and make them want to come and see who gets the award. Then start working the crowd. Tell them to expect a royal event. It’s coming up to dinner time and you should be able to attract a large number of common ponies. Use Sterling as a prop to lend legitimacy. I don’t care how you do it – that’s your department. I’ll return in a carriage with my wife, crown on my head, and a squad of Royal Guards. We make a great fanfare and a short speech which is when I announce that the Tasty Treat is the winner. What do you think?”

Saffron gasped and put a hoof on her chest while Starlight thoughtfully replied, “Sounds good. Best of both worlds, I hope.”

“That’s what I hope too. Okay, it should take me about an hour to get my bit done.”

Penumbra gave me a dry look. “Do you really think you can rush your wife?”

“Make that two hours.”

“I’ll be ready,” Starlight replied confidently.

I heard a few sniffs from my right. “Mmmmmango…” said Penny in a dreamy tone of voice. I looked over Starlight’s table for the first time – tea, some crispy, thin papadum with a chutney sauce (apparently mango if my drooling guardspony was to be believed), and a shallow bowl of what smelled like sweetened water of some sort. “Ah! Just the thing.” I picked up the bowl and drained it, only belatedly registering that both Starlight and Saffron tried to raise an objection.

I frowned as I smacked my lips. “That didn’t taste good at all.”

Saffron said, “That’s... because that was rose water. It’s used to ... wash your hooves.”

I smacked my lips one more time. I swore I could hear Penumbra grinning beside me. “Nopony breathes a word about this. At least for the time being.”

Starlight furrowed her brow. “You’re planning to prank your wife, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. In any case, back to business! We’re going to pack this place to the brim!”

Saffron turned to her dad and said, “A full restaurant! Father, I know we agreed that you would be the host, but would you please also help me in the kitchen?”

“Help you cook? But I thought you were determined to do that yourself. That cooking alone is what would make you happy.”

“Father, my happiest memories are of the two of us in the kitchen: cooking, sharing, and experimenting. I was with you when I got my cutie mark, remember?”

Coriander laughed, “You called it ‘Mughlai Karahi Gosht’. The griffon judge called it the best meal he had ever tasted. You didn’t even wait until you got the first place ribbon before your cutie mark appeared!” They both shared a delighted laugh at the memory.

Saffron picked up her father’s hoof. “Will you make me that happy again?”

Coriander matched her smile. “For my daughter – anything.”

They embraced and Starlight and I were entranced by the tender scene. Trust Penny to cut it short with a hoof-bump to my flank. I turned to see her looking there with narrowed eyes. “Hmmm. Nope. Not yet,” she murmured.

I sighed. “Come on, Glimmy. We’ve got work to do.”

She jabbed me with a hoof on the other flank. “It’s ‘Starlight Glimmer’,” she said darkly.

I frowned and started for the door. “What is it with mares and my flanks?”

Penumbra gave her trademark grin. “Maybe Princess Trixie was right about one thing.”

I shook my head. Despite my new title, it seemed mares still ran this world.

It wasn’t difficult to persuade Trixie to come with me for a dinner date. However, most of the time that it took us to get to Restaurant Row was taken up by her preparing for the outing. That wasn’t unexpected though and I used the time to organize the royal carriage (pulled by earth ponies this time), an honor guard, and to get into some snazzy threads, specifically, the wonderful dinner jacket and ascot ensemble that Rarity had made just for me. When we arrived, it was obvious that Starlight had done her job and a small crowd was gathered midway down the street. We pulled up just short of the crowd and one of the Royal Guards opened the door to the carriage. I emerged first and ‘assisted’ Trixie down. Then, side-by-side, we approached Starlight who was giving the crowd an introductory spiel. She had somehow found a small platform for us and we stood upon it and faced the crowd.

Apparently, Starlight had given Sterling instructions because he suddenly spoke up in his loud parade-ground voice. “Silence for His Highness, Prince Mark Wells!”

I gave him a nod of acknowledgement and then addressed the crowd. “Mares and gentlestallions, we are here today to bestow upon one of these restaurants the Royal Seal of approval. I have personally sampled the finest that these purveyors of top-class fare can provide. My advisors and I have come to the unanimous conclusion that one restaurant stands above the rest in excellence. It was no simple decision (‘yeah, I can bullshit with the best’), but I think that you will agree that the winner is deserving of its award. It’s not easy making an impression with a new style of gourmet cooking, but I believe that you will come to love it as much as I do. The first restaurant to gain the Royal Seal is… the Tasty Treat.”

There was applause and a murmur of curiosity from the crowd which I let die down a bit before continuing.

“Her Royal Highness Princess Trixie and I will be dining at the Tasty Treat this evening. I invite you all to join us and discover for yourselves the wonders of the cooking of chef Saffron Masala.” I turned to Trixie and held out a hoof. “Shall we, my dear?”

“We shall,” she replied. “The Great and Hungry Trixie is looking forward to this enormously.”

We stepped off the platform and headed towards the Tasty Treat. To my satisfaction, a significant number of ponies trailed after us. I assumed Starlight would have a table for two reserved for us, but I was hoping that we would fill the rest with new customers. Sterling took up a post at the door while Penny and Starlight accompanied us inside.

I got to see Coriander’s face as pony after pony followed us. I gave him a wink and he shook himself out of his stupor and got to work seating us. When Trixie saw that Starlight and Penumbra weren’t being seated also, she insisted on them joining us and had us moved to a table for four.

“We can’t spoil your evening with your husband, Your Highness,” Starlight protested.

“Nonsense! Join us! I will need your recommendations because, frankly, my husband’s choices are a bit suspect. No offense, dear.”

‘Rose water,’ I thought to myself. “None taken, dear.”

Coriander then attended to the rest of his customers. His daughter came out to help with the sudden influx. Soon, the shop was at capacity and there were still more ponies outside seeking to try out the food. That wasn’t a bad thing either because now they could say that the restaurant was so popular that it had to turn away diners. That always made a place even more enticing. I think we could safely say – mission accomplished. Time to pay attention to my wife, even if my cutie mark wasn’t flashing yet.

After studying the menu for a while, my spouse said, “Trixie has no idea what any of these are. What do you suggest?”

I smiled. “May I recommend the vindaloo from the special menu? It made quite an impression on Starlight Glimmer.” Oh, I was going to pay for that later!

To my chagrin, the date with my wife was turning into a mare gabfest. I was almost tempted to change into Marklestia to fit in. That’d sure put the restaurant on the map and give the diners something to talk about!

We were halfway through our meal when the front door burst open and a sharp-faced gray mare in fancy clothing strode inside. She stopped in the middle of the restaurant and looked about herself with disdain.

“What are all of you ponies doing here? This place has no hooves! This restaurant does not meet the standards I have set for Canterlot.”

One of the patrons said, “Well, if the cuisine is good enough for Prince Mark Wells, then it’s good enough for me.”

Zesty sniffed disparagingly as she glanced in our direction. “If I have a problem with zoning regulations, I'll talk to the Prince. He cannot tell you what food you can eat.”

Before I could respond, Starlight got up from our table and walked up to Zesty. “Exactly. I've been in the position you are trying to occupy now, except I controlled every aspect of my townsponies’ lives, not just what they ate. And I was wrong to do so. Suppressing what other ponies enjoy in their life is a crime. Using shame and a position of authority to do so is indefensible. If you don't believe me, come to my trial. No pony decides what is best for other ponies, especially something as uniquely personal as their taste in cuisine.”

I stood up to move beside Starlight and added, “You've made your recommendations and provided your opinion. Now it’s time for you to leave.”

Zesty glared at me then turned and left in a huff. There were laughs and cheers from the other diners and three of them came over to our table.

“Pardon us, Your Highnesses, but we wish to thank you for what you have done today. I own the Smoked Oat and my friends own the Bake Stop and Del Pesto here in Restaurant Row and we have wanted to change our menus and decor for a long time, but Zesty Gourmand has had a stranglehold on the dining scene and we’ve had to comply with her ideas or go out of business. But the wonderful food that is served here and the support that you’ve given to the owners have given us the courage and confidence to break away from Zesty’s grip. We will go back to doing what we got into the restaurant business for in the first place – making delicious food. Thank you very much!”

I grinned and replied, “You’re very welcome, but please thank Starlight Glimmer also. Without her help, I could not have accomplished this.”

The three did as I suggested which got a nod of gratitude from the unicorn. Then Coriander and Saffron found a moment to spare to thank us profusely before rushing back to work. I love it when a plan comes together.

After a very enjoyable dinner, Trixie, Starlight, Penumbra, and I exited the restaurant feeling very satisfied. Sterling Shield who had been standing at his post at the door joined up with us as some waiting patrons eagerly took our place. That pleased me. Anypony willing to wait that long to be seated in a restaurant was likely to appreciate the meal a lot and come back again. I paused to look at the shopfront and noticed the empty rating board.

“It’s a pity that we didn’t have an actual Equestrian Royal Seal to put up there,” I mused.

I noticed Starlight shuffling her hooves a bit but she said nothing.

I turned to her and asked, “Could you do it?”

With a bit of a stammer, she replied, “W-well, I could have, but...”

“Will you promise not to try to escape?”

“You want me to make one of those Pinkie Promises again?”

“No – I’ll take your word for it. You did a lot of wrong things, Starlight, but you always said what you meant, and meant what you said.”

Her face lit up with gratitude. “You have my word of honor that I will not try to escape.”

“Thank you. Sergeants Penumbra and Sterling Shield – please remove the magic suppression bands.”

Both guards took out a flat disk and whispered a short phrase, causing the disks to transform into keys. The fact that Sterling did so promptly reinforced my faith in Starlight’s oath. If the changeling didn’t detect any falsehood, then the unicorn was totally sincere.

Starlight fired up her horn and, a moment later, the seal of the Royal Sisters was emblazoned on the board.

My wife spoke up. “Trixie reckons that it is time that a new Royal Seal be created to reflect the current rulers of Equestria.”

“True,” I agreed, “but this works nicely for now and it’s the final touch that the place needed.” I shared a smile and a high hoof with Starlight and then I felt a familiar tingle on my rear end. Looking around, I saw my cutie mark flashing and so was Starlight’s.

“It seems our first Friendship Mission is over,” I said.

“You say that as if you think there will be others,” Starlight commented.

“Time will tell. We worked well when we got our act together.”

Starlight chuckled. “I guess we did.”

“Wait!” Penny said. “Was the friendship mission to reconcile the father and daughter and save their restaurant and by extension many of those on Restaurant Row, or was it to spark friendship between you two hardheaded idiots?”

Starlight and I shared a grin. “Yes,” we said in unison.

Penny grimaced. “Serves me right for asking you two nitwits.”

My wife laughed as we stepped up to the royal carriage. “Now you know what the Great and Forbearing Trixie has to put up with.”

“Yak it up while you can,” I grumped as I followed Trixie into our ride.

Penny, Starlight, and Sterling joined us and then the Royal Guard earth ponies who were hitched to the carriage commenced to take us back to the castle.

Starlight’s smile faded. “I suppose it’s back to the trial tomorrow?”

I nodded. “That needs to be done regardless of anything that happened today.”

“I understand. I have to say that I’m happy to have had this opportunity though.”

I grinned. “Believe it or not, so am I.”

As originally planned, we spent the remainder of the week in a series of sessions for Starlight’s trial. However, with the benefit of our shared experience, I was able to deal with it dispassionately, free of the animosity which I had prior to the Friendship Mission. On her part, Starlight was calm and accepting of her inevitable fate.

Eventually, all the evidence was heard, each scenario analyzed thoroughly, with prosecution and defense raising point and counterpoint. Trixie declared a recess while she, Twilight, and I shared our views on the proceedings and debated the most appropriate course of action. It was during this that I asked Raven Inkwell yet again for assistance in looking up something from one of the earlier sessions.

“Birthmark Barbells, when will you stop using Trixie’s Great and Competent Advisor as your own?”

I opened my mouth to protest that Raven had always worked with me while I was Trixie’s Grand Vizier, but then I realized that my wife was right. I was a prince now and I needed my own staff. That made a lightbulb go on in my head. “Tell me what you think of this idea…”

We three triarchs filed back into the throne room and took our places. Starlight looked truly nervous for the first time. She had a right to be because it was her moment of truth.

“Starlight Glimmer – step forth,” I commanded.

The unicorn got up from her seat and walked up to the base of the dais and bowed.

“My fellow regents have elected me to give our verdicts.” I held up a scroll and read from it. “On the charge of attempted regicide, we find you guilty.”

Starlight sagged visibly, her ears wilting.

I continued. “By request of the intended victim, Princess Twilight Sparkle, you are hereby granted a royal pardon.”

Starlight’s ears shot up again and she stared at us in disbelief. I didn’t let her think about it for long.

“On the charge of attempted murder of myself – guilty.”

That took the wind out of her sails once more. I smirked a little and continued.

“The penalty shall be one chicken vindaloo dinner, full-strength, upon completion of which you will be pardoned of that charge.”

“What…? Are you serious?” Starlight blurted out.

“I am. Deadly serious, you could say,” I replied smugly. Yeah, I was never going to be one of those grave judges you saw on TV dramas. “On the charges of stealing cutie marks and brainwashing the inhabitants of Our Town, in consultation with its citizens, you have been granted amnesty on all counts.”

Starlight looked grateful, no doubt recalling her return trip to Our Town. Perhaps she realized how much her willingness to ask their forgiveness had affected them.

I moved on to the next item. “On the charge of attempting to pervert the course of history to the detriment of all of Equestria – guilty. While it has been subsequently determined that it is likely impossible to change history, your meddling resulted in divergent timelines, many of which may have ponies who suffered greatly due to your prevention of Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom. You have seen the photographic proof of at least one of them. Princess Twilight Sparkle believes it is impossible for us to correct those and thus the seriousness of the charge. However, your remorse and acceptance of your culpability have been taken into account.”

I put down the scroll and regarded the mare seriously. “Starlight, we have both learned much over the past few months. The three of us believe that you have genuinely seen the error of your actions, while I have learned that Equestrian justice is not about punishment but redemption. Throwing you in jail will not fix the problems that you created but learning how to help others avoid the traps that you fell into will benefit the entire realm. As such, as requested by Princess Twilight Sparkle, you will engage under her tutelage in what she has called friendship lessons until such time as Her Highness determines that you completely understand true friendship.”

“I… I thank Your Highnesses for this opportunity…” Starlight began.

“Not quite done yet, Starlight,” I interrupted. She gulped nervously. “You are aware of the very long list of offences which I’m not going to bother reading out right now. However, at the root of them all was a desire to correct what you perceived was a gross injustice. The problems caused by inequality in Equestria are very real although your methods of dealing with them were deeply flawed and misguided. To make amends for your actions, you will be given the opportunity to do something more positive towards your goal. I am offering you the position of Royal Advisor to myself. You will be responsible for providing me with important information, giving advice, and acting on my behalf. Do you accept?”

Starlight stared at me, blinking in disbelief. “You… want me… to work for you?”

“Or we could still use the dungeon option if you don’t like that idea. This is a very long scroll of offences,” I replied, waving said document.

“Why would you want me as your advisor after all that I’ve done?”

“You’re a smart and talented mare, Starlight Glimmer, and I really need somepony like that working for me. I believe Harmony has shown me that you have a special destiny and I’m not going to argue with the mystical butt signal. When we stopped competing with each other and worked together, we accomplished something neither of us could accomplish alone. I reckon that we can keep doing that on a permanent basis. So, what do you say, Glimmy? You said you wanted to make a difference and I’m giving you that opportunity.”

Starlight raised her head proudly. “I accept your offer, Your Highness. And it’s Starlight, not Glimmy.”

I smirked. “As you wish, Glim Glam. As you have accepted the condition of amnesty, all remaining charges have now been dropped. Upon completion of your penalty, you will begin working with me immediately.”

“Which penalty?”

“Your favorite meal, remember?”

She gaped at me for a long moment. “You were serious about that?”

I grinned and nodded.

“With all due respect, Your Highness, you’re an ass.”

I chuckled. “No, I’m now your royal pain in the ass. Enjoy your meal, Advisor Glimmer.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

We've reached fifty chapters! I hope you liked this extra-long one. Stick around for the next fifty! :raritystarry:

All illustrations are show assets. Some were slightly altered to match the story.
Equestrian Flag source for the sign: https://www.deviantart.com/qtmarx

Chapter 51 - Secrets and Changes

Starlight’s trial had not been the only one on the docket of the Royal Equestrian Court. A hoof-selected group consisting of members of the Guild of Mages and an architect searched Spell Nexus’ mansion where they found a hidden room with several scrolls and two books of spells that included the dark arts. Unlike Starlight, the unicorn mage had been utterly corrupted by dark magic, a subject that he had chosen to study in spite of Princess Celestia’s long-standing prohibition of the discipline. However, just before the trial of the ring leader and his accomplices was about to start, something happened that threw everything on its head.

Princess Cadance had come down to Canterlot to shop for some foal clothes and just possibly show off Flurry Heart. With Sunburst in tow, the new mother had joined all three triarchs to socialize in the Large Castle Sunroom before she planned to head out. A baby-talking Sunburst was in charge of attempting to get food close to the little foal’s mouth while a snickering Starlight had the job of cleaning it up from wherever the little tyke tossed it.

Suddenly, both Cadance and Penumbra looked up and gasped. My bodyguard said, “Major Dusky Wings?!” I turned to find myself a few body lengths away from the most physically fit thestral I had ever seen. If there was any fat on his body, I couldn’t see it. His movements, even in armor, were completely silent and flowed like water.

I recognized him now, or at least his eyes as he hesitantly raised his head and nodded. I had only seen him at night when darkness seemed to pool around him like a cloak. The leader of the Night Guard Special Task Force looked as out-of-place in the daytime as… well… I was tempted to say ‘Pinkie Pie on a rock farm,’ but this was Equestria where highly improbable things happened on a fairly regular basis.

Princess Cadance said, “Major, if I recall correctly, you once said that the only time you would be seen during the day—”

The soldier finished, “… would be right before they closed the coffin. Yes, Your Highness. An unexpected pleasure to see you again.” He sighed. “I’ve already undergone four identity checks just on the way here.”

Trixie gave me a nervous glance then lifted her chin. “Such is the burden of those who establish a reputation, Major. Well, then this must be a matter of great importance! What did you need to say to the three leaders of Equestria?”

The stallion took a deep breath then said, “With regret, Your Highnesses, I must respectfully request that I be immediately relieved as leader of the Special Task Force. I also request an indefinite leave of absence from my military duties.”

All of us paused. Twilight said, “May we learn why you are deciding to do so, and why at this time?”

“I must decline, Your Highness. It is a personal matter. In any event, I do not feel I am capable of fulfilling my duties in the manner they deserve.”

The timing of this stunk to high heaven. I gave Cadance a hard stare then turned to address the bat pony. “Major Dusky Wings, I’m afraid we cannot accept your request at this time. This is not because of your service record, which is impeccable, but because of the unusual circumstances of your most recent missions. However, if Princess Cadance is willing, she is an experienced counselor who holds patient confidentiality in the highest regard. The three of us would consider her recommendation very seriously if you choose to speak with her.”

The soldier’s expression became hard and his eyes showed that same iron determination that I was familiar with.

Princess Cadance walked up to him and said, “It has been a long time since we talked, Major. Would you do me the favor of at least letting us get caught up? If nothing else, I’d like to know if your team discovered anything of interest in the Crystal Caverns in the weeks they were searched after my wedding. I never did get to read that report.”

With a blink, the hardness was gone from the thestral’s face. “Of course, Your Highness. But I don’t want to inconvenience you and upset your plans for the day.”

Cadance had gently guided Dusky Wings to walk with her towards the entrance to the room. “Nonsense, my little pony. It’s a rare treat to speak with you. In fact, I had been meaning…” The rest of the words were cut off by the door closing behind them.

I tapped my hoof on the floor a few times as I gathered my thoughts. “I’d like to delay the start of Afternoon Court today.”

That got me a surprised look from my wife. “Is there something you’d like to share, Dowser?”

I shook my head. “My gut is telling me this is something critical. In fact, I don’t want to start the trials tomorrow until we’ve gotten to the bottom of this mystery.”

Twilight said, “I can take the shift if you and Trixie want to wait until Cadance returns.”

“No, I feel this is important enough for all of us to stick around.”

Twilight and my wife shared a look before Trixie said to a guardsman, “Please inform our petitioners that there will be a two–hour delay to the start of afternoon court and that will run an extra two hours in length if necessary.”

The unicorn soldier saluted. “At once, Your Highness!” She then teleported away.

Trixie turned back to me. “Any guesses?”

“I’d rather not speculate without more information. Let’s take the opportunity to get to know if Little Miss Sunshine back there is a delightful cherub or a rampaging demon.” I smiled. “Frankly, from Shining Armor’s letters, I’d swear he has two different children.”

Over the next hour, all confusion was laid to rest – looked and cooed like a cherub when happy, wailed and screamed like a demon when she wasn’t. For instance, as soon as she realized she couldn’t see her mother any longer. Internally, I wondered how long this would affect my now quite-frazzled wife, whose sleight of hoof tricks and light shows were only aggravating the baby. At least for the moment, I estimated the chance of Trixie asking me to stay with her through the next heat season to be approximately zero. Thank goodness little Flurry’s magic-suppressing mane clip stayed in place – with the help of a few spells, I understood. Otherwise, this time it would have been Canterlot Castle that looked like Swiss cheese.

Right after Sunburst gave up his last emergency lollipop to briefly appease the monster, the beast’s mother returned with a noticeably more relaxed thestral major. Cadance smiled and came to pick up her now beaming infant. “Oh, look who’s been good! You have, haven’t you?” This was followed by a gentle nose boop that sent the tiny slice of Tartarus into giggling fits. The new mom gave us an innocent smile as if the unkempt looks of everypony that had tried to assuage her daughter were either not obvious or not important. “Major Wings has decided he would like to share something with you, although I must insist that no pony here discuss it elsewhere.” She waited until she got nods from everypony present, including the guards. After Trixie, Twilight, and I resumed our previous seating locations with Sunburst and Starlight behind us, he began.

“Exactly thirty-two days ago, I perceived emotional stirrings of the way I did … well… the way every single thestral did in the approximately two hours that Nightmare Moon had returned to Equestria. You are all aware that she created our race a thousand years ago. Along with that heritage comes the desire to serve her… no, that’s inaccurate. My apologies. Not just serve her, but to give our souls completely. Surrender our free will and be nothing but unthinking meat-puppets – slaves to her whimsy. I will admit it is a seductive call but I’ve been able to ignore it, believing it to be a side effect of being close to the Doomsday Cult members that the Task Force is charged to guard. I’ve assigned to myself the security of Prisoner Zero One named Spell Nexus. Unfortunately, that made me constantly exposed to his nonstop blathering about ‘Her Inevitable Dark and Glorious Rule.” My schedule rolled me off duty for two days of mandatory leave yesterday at sunrise. When I awoke five hours before sundown, I found the disturbing call to be the same, if not stronger.”

He shuffled his hooves and took a drink of water from a glass offered by Cadance. “This morning at ten minutes past sunrise, I sacked out per my standard routine. Normally, I don’t remember my dreams, but I sure as Tartarus did this time. Nightmare Moon flew before me, with all the dark glory and magnificence that Prisoner Zero One had promised.”

I shared a look with Twilight. She nodded, probably following the same avenue of thought. OK, most likely several city blocks ahead of me after having already explored and discarded numerous dead-ends I hadn’t even reached yet.

Dusky Wings said, “Of course, I got over my initial shock and sprang to attack her with my wing blades and vibro-sword, screaming to keep her words from reaching my ears. The apparition swirled away like a dark fog and I was left with nothing but her mocking laughter surrounding me. That’s when I awoke and decided I needed to get my head knocked around and proper stuffing shoved in before going back to duty. Cadan… Her Highness Mi Amore Cadenza convinced me that you five would be the most qualified to identify and eliminate the problem.”

Twilight said, “Starlight? Please scan Major Dusky Wings as we have been doing recently.”

Starlight trotted up to face the thestral and gave a reassuring smile. “With your permission, I’m going to scan you for the magic that your body is holding. May I proceed?” At his nod, her horn let out a wide beam that swept up and down his form. She repositioned herself to his right side, then behind him, repeating the scan. When done, she looked up to her friendship studies teacher. “710 millithaums of Dark Magic.”

I had suspected being close to the cult members over a long period of time had affected him in some way. Trust the Nerd Princess to nail it on her first guess. Her reaction was not one of joy at having a scientific theory validated.

“Blast it all to Tartarus! They aren’t recovering at all. The Dark Magic isn’t dissipating as we theorized. It’s leaking into every pony around them.”

Twilight, Starlight, Cadance, and Sunburst huddled up and started brainstorming. Princess Sparkle teleported in a few standing chalkboards and the magical equations started appearing at a fast and furious rate. Their speech was hardly more understandable as they started discussing tensors, convolution, closed surface integrals, contours, and other terms and names of spells that I did not recognize.

I took the opportunity to walk up to Major Dusky Wings and hold out a hoof. He snapped to attention with a sharp salute, but I just grinned and held my pose. That was fine, I could do this all day. Eventually, he got the hint, relaxed, and completed the hoof bump. I said, “I want to thank you personally for your courage, Major. If you hadn’t spoken up, no pony would have known about this new threat. Now, at least, we can let the eggheads work on the right problem.”

“I am satisfied that I could do my duties, Your Highness.”

I suppose that’s as close to a ‘You're Welcome’ as I could reasonably expect.

Behind me, I heard my wife sigh. She said into my ear, “Trixie thinks she has had enough of these ‘eggheads’ as you called them.” She raised her voice to be heard over the yammering of the brain trust. “If you four are done wasting our time, perhaps we can concentrate on the real problem!”

That brought their discussion to a halt. Twilight said, “But we’re trying to determine the mechanism by which the Dark Magic leaves the body. That has to be—”

“Trixie knows what you are discussing; Trixie’s strenuous exertions at studying unicorn spellcraft let me glean that much from your deliberations. No – we need to concentrate on counteracting the Dark Magic; nullifying it in the host body so it can no longer contaminate others.”

The foursome glanced back and forth. Sunburst said, “That sounds… prudent, but there is no single type of magic that is the direct opposite of Dark Magic. I read through Twilight’s dissertation she prepared for the upcoming trial. Her recent studies confirmed that along with all types of pony magic; dragon, changeling, and even chaos magic cannot nullify Dark Magic.”

Penumbra spoke up. “Well, how about just plain ‘light’ then?” All eyes turned to her. “I mean, as a foal, I was told that Celestia’s poison… uh…. her magic flowed along each beam of light from her sun. Surely Dark Magic can’t like that.”

“Excuse me,” said Dusky Wings. “Are you seriously asking me to…” he shivered and his mouth contorted. “… sun-bathe?”

“Not yet!” said a smiling Twilight. “We have to set up proper testing conditions first!”

The thestral stallion stood in place, blinking in apparent shock. I walked up next to him and clapped a forehoof on his shoulder. “Cheer up, soldier. If I can survive Princess Twilight and her rounds of testing, then you can power through them with little or no difficulty.”

Through my hoof, I felt a few trembles in his body. He muttered, “The shadows will never be my friends again.”

The four magic experts were at it once more, although their discussion did not last long before Starlight began constructing a large hexagonal frame and stand from reddish wooden boards. Meanwhile, Cadance and Twilight continuously applied a spell of some sort to four large clear crystals on the floor in front of them. Sunburst bent over and examined each crystal, which I now recognized as calcite. After a minute or so, he declared the results to be good and the two princesses switched to using their magic to divide the crystals into thin slices, then the slices into much smaller pieces. These tiny stone shapes apparently interlocked because, in a very short period of time, all four crystals had been transformed into a slightly rippling hexagonal sheet of tiny pieces of milky-white stone. Twilight fit the sheet snugly into the now completed frame that was a bit wider than a pegasus’ wingspan.

Cadance came over to encourage the major to put a foreleg into the light streaming through one of the room’s large windows while Starlight levitated the frame to allow every part of the sheet to be exposed to sunlight. The shadow cast upon the screen by the major’s leg made an unremarkable silhouette when viewed from the other side of the sheet. Several seconds later, it began to change. Spots of red appeared and occasionally shifted in the area defined by the shadow. Starlight and Twilight shared a delighted laugh and a high hoof. Dusky Wings craned his head around the frame to see what the fuss was about.

I, however, was confused. “What, exactly, are we looking at here?”

Sunburst said, “Each tiny crystal in the array is detecting the Dark Magic present between itself and the sun.”

Trixie moved up to my side to study the glowing dots. “So like an X-Ray?”

“Yes, but this one updates continuously, though with a few seconds delay.”

Twilight’s lavender aura enveloped the thestral stallion and lifted him slightly off the ground and directly into the sunlight. To his credit, Dusky only hissed once before he got control of himself. Twilight said, “Please relax, Major. Face your body and wings directly at the sun and hold that position.”

Dusky Wings followed his orders, though his breathing was shallow and rapid. Meanwhile, every other eye was staring at the patterns and intensity of the red dots and lines on his silhouette.

Starlight said, “It seems to be fairly evenly distributed throughout the body. The thickest parts have the most Dark Magic, where the sun’s magic has to go through the most tissue.”

“I can see additional definition for the bone structure,” said Sunburst. “It must accumulate in the skeleton, at least a bit.”

The conversation died away and the only sound heard was Dusky’s breathing, slowly becoming more regular, and the scratch of Twilight’s quill as it furiously recorded data and her observations.

After a few minutes, Penumbra said, “Is it my imagination, or is there less Dark Magic in the wings now?”

I said, “I think… you’re right. There aren’t as many red dots and their intensity has lessened.”

By the time Twilight decided to end the trial at ten minutes, very little red remained in the thestral’s wings. Dusky Wings sighed in relief as soon as he was set down in the shade again while Starlight took a fresh scan. After two more scans from different angles, she declared, “704 millithaums.”

Trixie asked, “Was that just from the decrease we saw in the wings?”

Twilight referred to her calculations. “No. That would account for only about thirty percent of the decrease. The formula characterizing the nullification process appears to be a combination of surface area and volume. Another hour of tests should narrow down the coefficients to an acceptable range of values.”

The stallion took a drink from the glass floated to him by Princess Cadance and said, “Let’s get on with it then.”

“Not as bad as you thought?” I asked with a smirk.

He gave me a sheepish look before striding back into the full sunlight and holding his wings out at his sides, waiting for Twilight’s magic to levitate him back in place. “Fairly restful, once I got used to it.”

Over the next hour, while the deadliest thestral alive hung in the air like a bizarre suncatcher, the rest of us formulated a plan. By the following afternoon, we were ready.

Reporters from all of Canterlot’s newspapers were brought to the throne room. Trixie, myself, and Twilight had all dressed up for the occasion in our finest royal vestments.

Twilight had wanted to make the announcement but, after a long discussion, begrudgingly admitted that she was not yet skilled at telling little white lies in a convincing manner. Perhaps that was putting it kindly if her pot of chips at the end of any Royal Poker Night was an indicator. Instead, Princess Trixie took a step forward and smiled. “My little ponies – the triarchs of Equestria have gathered you here to make a Royal Announcement. Only yesterday, our castle medical staff determined all of the Nightmare Cult members are suffering from a magical illness that saps the victim of Vitamin D and causes anti-social behavior. As a result, their trials will be put on indefinite hold until they are deemed cured upon which time they will be re-evaluated.”

“The Crown has reserved the entire Celestia Wing of the famous Villa Jodhpurs in the sunny Hebridal Archipelago. The afflicted ponies will stay there until they show no sign of the disease, then stay an additional day as an extra precaution.”

Only after that information had been processed and the murmuring died down did she continue. “The disease has also been found at low but detectable levels in some ponies that are friends, co-workers, or family members of the accused. Those ponies will also be guests at the resort for a minimum of two days at the Crown’s expense. If anypony has had close or frequent contact with the list of ponies I am again providing to the press, please report to the castle so you can be tested.”

She smiled. “With your help, this disease will be eradicated quickly and efficiently. While the threat it poses to a pony’s health is minor, the insidious effects it can have on the psyche make it a high priority for the Equestrian Throne. We will provide updates as we receive information from our medical staff on location. Thank you.”

With that, the three of us left, ignoring the questions called after us.

What we didn’t announce was the exact nature of the “disease,” or that the cult members would receive career counseling. Each would have a chance to get a fresh start at a new profession while on supervised probation. I didn’t expect them all to keep their noses clean, but this was another step towards me embracing the rehabilitation vs. punishment aspect that reflected the spirit of Harmony that made Equestria prosper. As it turned out, all but three of the cultists stayed out of trouble. Garrote Wire, for instance, got a job at a griffon slaughterhouse where his special talent was greatly appreciated.

The ruse to uncover all ponies who might have been exposed to Dark Magic worked a little too well. When the first batch of civilians returned after two days of sunbathing at arguably the ritziest resort in Equestria, the castle was flooded by every ‘business partner’, jilted lover, passing acquaintance, and milkmaid that might conceivably have had contact with one of the accused. For a week, the Crown also reserved two-thirds of the Luna Wing at the resort just to keep up with the crush of infected tropical paradise vacation-seekers.

As for Spell Nexus, his extensive knowledge of all types of magic let him see through our ruse. I understand he vowed to bring about the return of his precious Nightmare Moon with or without her Dark Magic. Fine. Without it is.

The archmage was confined to his own private sunroom at the outskirts of the resort, attended to by a cast of guards that rotated frequently to stay decontaminated. It would be months before he was drained of all Dark Magic, and if Spell Nexus was ever allowed to return to Canterlot, he would be kept under house arrest in his mansion, with multiple horn suppression rings in place. He would never hold a position of authority again.

Our lives settled down into normality for a while, but I have learned that normal was a very transient state in Equestria before something came along to make our lives ‘interesting’ once more. This time, it was heralded by a Royal Guard bursting into the dining room where the princesses and I were having a meal.

This being a Wednesday, there was no afternoon session of Day Court. This was reserved for various activities such as the magic lessons that Twilight gave to both Trixie and me. The alicorn would be doing a Night Court session after dinner although Trixie and I alternated with her each week. Once a week had been found to be adequate to deal with the needs of our subjects who found it difficult to attend Day Court. The length of Night Court varied in proportion to those needs and the presiding royalty made sure they had a good sleep beforehand. Therefore, while Trixie and I had eaten lunch, Twilight had just finished her breakfast when Private Diligent Watch hastily entered the dining room.

The Royal Guard saluted and then rather breathlessly said, “Your Highnesses – Ambassador Thorax’s cocoon is showing activity. We believe he’s hatching!”

Twilight leaped to her hooves and raced for the door.

“Have you informed Queen Carpacia?” I asked as Trixie and I hastened to follow.

“Sergeant Sterling Shield said that he would attend to that detail, Your Highness.”

Of course, he would. The private didn’t have to be aware that Sterling was a Red Changeling to know that he was the official liaison between the Red Hive and Canterlot.

We caused quite a stir as we galloped through the palace to the room where Thorax’s cocoon was kept. We royals were supposed to keep a calm dignity when traversing the castle, although I stretched that quite a lot on many occasions in my constant effort not to end up like the stuffy nobles. Our obvious haste was a cause for concern for many, and I heard Diligent Watch trying to allay their fears. I tripped on my nemesis, the stairs, but caught myself with my wings. It had been a while since I had face-planted thanks to finally getting competent with flying, but it would have been nicer if my klutziness could be dealt with in any way besides turning into Marklestia.

The door guard saw us coming and held it open for us. We found Corporal Keen Eyes watching the writhing cocoon suspended from the ceiling. The Royal Guards were always assigned in pairs to watch over Thorax because it was an extremely boring task. They had permission to do just about anything they felt like during their watches as long as they constantly checked on their responsibility. However, it also meant that one of them could be sent as a messenger while the other remained to observe.

“Report!” Twilight commanded.

Keen Eyes saluted and said, “Ambassador Thorax’s cocoon started twitching approximately a quarter hour ago. That rapidly grew to what you are seeing now, upon which I dispatched Private Diligent Watch to report to you. That is all, Your Highness.”

Twilight frowned. “He should have split the cocoon by now. Why is he still inside?”

“Maybe he’s too weak?” I said.

“Trixie thinks you know what you should do, Princess Twilight. Thorax needs you.”

Twilight nodded and approached the cocoon. She touched her horn to it and it abruptly stilled. There was no glow because she was pouring her love into him, not magic. Then with a mighty heave, the cocoon split and its occupant spilled out with a splash of fluids. The changeling sprawled on the floor, coughing for a moment before he raised his head and his eyes met Twilight’s.

“Hello, my love,” he said.

I don’t think he had noticed either Trixie or me staring at him. The changeling had changed. A lot. Gone was the black chitin, replaced by various muted shades of green. As his gossamer wings stretched out, we could see that they were larger with whorls of light green that seemed to glow on their own. He now possessed wing casings of green highlighted in red. A muted reddish mane had replaced the head crest, and while his horn had grown a little, it was nothing like either Chrysalis’ or Carpacia’s. Instead, he had sprouted a pair of pale red antlers. And when he got up onto his hooves, another fact became obvious.

Twilight embraced him passionately. “I missed you so much.” She apparently didn’t care about the leftover goo that covered his form, but my wife did. With a roll of her eyes, Trixie’s horn flashed and all the sticky fluids covering the floor and two lovers shrank and disappeared. Quite a handy trick!

Thorax returned the hug and replied, “I felt your presence every day. But why are you smaller now?”

Twilight drew back just enough to look at his face. She giggled and said, “I haven’t gotten smaller – you’ve gotten taller.”

Indeed he had. While not quite as big as Carpacia, or at least not yet, Thorax had grown quite a lot in stature as befitted a new queen, or a king, in this case, I suppose. Hopefully, metamorphosis hadn’t changed that part about Thorax. I really couldn’t tell although his voice still sounded masculine to me. He also seemed to be very different from anypony’s expectations, including his own. He blinked in surprise as he turned his head to look at himself.

“This is very strange,” he muttered.

Twilight said, “Not even Queen Carpacia was sure what would happen. The mixing of two hives had not been done before even in their distant past. The important thing though is – how do you feel?”

Thorax lowered the leg that he had been examining and faced Twilight. “I feel… different. Good, but strange. I sense a need but I don’t know what it is.”

A voice came from the doorway. “You are experiencing the need to lead other changelings. It is instinctive in all changeling princes and princesses.”

I turned to see Carpacia there with her two familiar guards. Her prompt arrival suggested that she had expected Thorax to hatch about this time and had been staying in Canterlot in anticipation for the rebirth. She strode into the room and started looking over Thorax with a critical eye. We waited patiently for her to be done.

“This is unprecedented,” Carpacia finally declared. “While I had been unsure of what the result would be, it’s fairly obvious that Thorax gets some of his traits from either Red Changelings or Crystal Changelings. However, there are aspects that are a mystery to me. I believe the extent of your changes explains why you needed an extra month of time and a steady supply of Twilight’s love to complete your metamorphosis. The coloration is quite remarkable and I half expected Thorax to emerge as a female, but he has not.”

I thought to myself that the continuance of Thorax’s gender would be a relief to Twi, at least. I turned to her bodyguard who had threatened me soon after Carpacia’s arrival. “So does that mean your queen lost a bet?”

The changeling winced, looked guiltily at Carpacia, then pretended I hadn’t said anything. The other bodyguard tried to suppress a smile while indicating his companion with a slight head nod, then resumed his ‘at attention’ stance.

“It is none of your concern, and please do not badger my guards, Prince Mark Wells,” said the queen.

I smirked. Not afraid to bet and a bit salty when tasting defeat. That sounded like fun to me. I’d have to ask Twi if it was possible to play card games with an emotivore and still keep it fair.

Carpacia continued, “Anyway, I believe my Emergence-Day gift can be modified to suit.” She proceeded to float three items from her saddlebags: a ring, a crown in the shape of a short arc, and a collar. “These electrum pieces are the regalia once worn by my first daughter, Princess Pterostigma.” The jewelry lengthened and warped in her magic. “May you wear these as proudly and fight as nobly as she, Prince Thorax of the Crystal Hive. I look forward to the day you depose the mad queen and become the first true king of a changeling hive.”

Thorax bent his neck down to allow the jewelry to be placed on his horn, between his antlers, and around his neck. When he raised his head again, he indeed looked as royal as his name suggested.

He said, “Thank you, Queen Carpacia. I will endeavor with every fiber of my being to make the Crystal Changelings worthy of becoming friends of both Equestria and the other hives.”

“Good,” replied the queen. “Completely non-standard, but I have come to expect that. Very Good.”

“What about those antlers? Do other changelings possess them?” I asked.

“I have antlers?” Thorax asked, reaching up to his head.

“No, they don’t,” Carpacia replied. “But likewise, there never has been a changeling king before. All previous changeling princes could not ascend because they were sterile. I can only speculate that your antlers and the diamond-shaped bulges on your chest are male traits.”

That made as much sense as anything else. We were probably looking at a being that Equestria had never seen until now, and what that meant for the changeling race, only time would tell.

“So, what happens now?” Trixie asked.

“Thorax must come to my hive to start his training,” Carpacia said.

“What?! No!” Twilight exclaimed. “I’ve only just gotten him back after all these weeks. Besides, I believe he can get all the instruction he needs right here in Canterlot. He can be taught self-defense, pony government, the art of friendship, and learn more about his pony allies.”

Carpacia scowled. “The whole point of elevating Thorax to royalty was to prepare him to take over Chrysalis’ hive. He can’t learn how to run one in a pony city!”

Twilight was not cowed. “Thorax was already learning how to be a leader and he’s supposed to be the ambassador for all changelings. He can’t do that from your hive!”

“He’s already feeling the pull of leadership – he needs to be among his kind to hone that skill!”

“You can’t just take away the stallion that I love to suit your preferences!”

“You’re a princess, and you must sometimes sacrifice your desires for the greater good!”

“Don’t tell me how to do my job – I’ve been working toward the greater good with Thorax long before you even knew about him!”

I could see this turning into an all-out bitch-fight and a glance at my wife suggested that she was thinking the same thing. Before Carpacia could respond to Twilight, I bellowed, “QUIET!”

Both Twilight and Carpacia stared at me in surprise. I took advantage of the lull.

“Has either of you considered what Thorax wants to do?”

All eyes turned to Thorax. His ears were laid back against his head and he bit his lip. After a pregnant pause, he finally replied. “I want to be with Twilight, but I undertook this because I understood that I would be the Crystal Hive’s only hope for survival if Chrysalis is caught or killed. I want to learn how to run a hive, but my heart belongs here in Canterlot.”

He gazed with adoration at Twilight and Carpacia and her guards gasped.

“What’s wrong, Your Majesty?” I asked.

She gave me a puzzled look. “Wrong? There’s nothing wrong. Thorax is radiating love energy at a prodigious rate! Where is he getting it from?”

“Trixie thinks it’s obvious – from Princess Twilight, of course.”

“No, he should have consumed all of it to power his metamorphosis and rebirth,” Carpacia replied.

“I may be speaking from a position of relative ignorance,” I said, “but I think we may be looking at something new in the changeling species – something that probably should have happened centuries ago except for your tradition for never interbreeding between the hives. Thorax is a hybrid, and hybrids are known to be healthier, stronger, and possess new traits. To put it bluntly, he is an evolved changeling. I’m guessing he doesn’t just consume love – he creates it too.”

“Such a thing has never been heard of, and yet I cannot deny what I am witnessing.” Carpacia’s expression firmed. “But that just makes it even more imperative that he trains at my hive.”

“But it’s his heart that makes him strong, so that should be nurtured here!” Twilight countered.

‘Here we go again,’ I thought. “Ladies! This is getting us nowhere!” I said sternly.

“Indeed. The Great and Wise Trixie sees that a compromise must be made. Both of you make equally legitimate points, so the obvious course of action is that both of you must train Prince Thorax. If he is to eventually reign as our equal, he must be able to work with both ponies and his own kind.”

I backed up my wife. “There’s no point in maintaining the status quo, so doing everything the changeling way would be pointless, but the knowledge and skills of the past can’t be ignored either. I propose that Thorax spends each alternate week at the hive and at Canterlot. He can swap each weekend. He can start in the hive this Saturday.”

Carpacia said, “Why not now?”

I raised an eyebrow and gave her a level stare. “Surely you’re not proposing to tear him away from Twilight just when they’ve been reunited? That would only foster feelings of resentment towards you. Both of you need to be on good terms to make this arrangement work well.”

The Red Queen looked back to Thorax who was gazing longingly at the alicorn. Carpacia sighed and said, “A fair argument. I will return on Saturday at noon. Make sure he is ready.” She then turned and left without any acknowledgement from Twilight or Thorax.

“Trixie supposes that’s as good as it gets. At least, Twilight will be fully distracted with her stallion and we get to skip class today.”

I grinned and we started to head for the door.

“Not so fast,” Twilight said. “Starswirl’s Compendium of Intermediate Spells, Volume Three, chapters six and seven. Read them! I’ll be testing you later.”

She managed to say this without taking her eyes off Thorax. I groaned. There was no beating the book pony.

Most evenings, Trixie and I would go to her suite after dinner. Unfortunately, while Celestia’s former rooms were plenty of space for a single mare, they were not designed to fit two adults with all of their accumulated stuff. Sometimes I would stay the night – at least the bed designed for the large alicorn was big enough for the two of us. Other times I would return to my chambers, but for the thirty minutes before sunset, I could almost always be found with my wife in her rooms.

This evening, there was a cheery knock at the door. In response, Trixie yelled, “Come in, Princess Sparkle!” The door was surrounded in a lavender energy field and it swung open to reveal a beaming Twilight.

I turned to my wife, “How do you do that?”

She waved a forehoof absently. “Mares are mysterious creatures. We have abilities that no stallion can possibly understand.”

After Twilight pranced inside and closed the door behind her, I changed to my short-maned Celestia form and said, “How about now?”

Twilight sat down next to Trixie and they shared a knowing grin. Twilight just shook her head while my wife said, “Nah. Probably not. Check back in a few years when that disguise has some mileage on it.”

Our co-ruler said, “Mark, I’m glad you’re in that form. Guess what I just got back earlier today?” She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out two familiar spellbooks, a metal box, and a canvas bag.

I asked, “Are those the spellbooks we loaned to the Celestia of the House Path dimension?”

“Yes, they are. Unfortunately, their Celestia was unable to get them open. She kept one in case they get any new ideas.”

Trixie said, “The box is the lead-lined one that we used to transport the dark magic book from the top shelf, I take it? But what’s in the bag?”

I had a suspicion what it might contain, which Twilight confirmed. “Do you remember how we authorized their Celestia to try to force books to open? The hope was that the self-destruction spells could be either stopped in their tracks or fully analyzed so the next attempt would be successful. Unfortunately, neither happened and we just have a pile of ashes now.” She looked at the bag sadly. “There is a chance that an object memory spell was cast on the pages inside, and the right incantation would restore the book, but again, she was not able to find it.”

I frowned. “So, another dead end.”

Twilight said, “I’m afraid so. Their Celestia tried all of her ‘common’ passcodes and opening spells with no response. She feels it is unlikely a universal passphrase was used. She believes her counterpart chose a randomized pattern of letters, numbers, and/or words for each book.”

My head shot up. “So that would mean there is likely a codebook somewhere that holds all the passphrases. Even Celestia would not have trusted just her memory to keep track of dozens of randomly created passwords.”

Trixie said, “That book would have to be either in this room or the chamber under Canterlot Mountain. Most likely it’s protected by an invisibility spell or perhaps hidden as code inside one of the volumes in this bookcase. I have not removed any of Celestia’s books.”

We spent the next hour poking around in Trixie’s chambers, interrupted briefly for Trixie to be seen lowering the sun and raising the moon. Trixie even let me apply a coating of magically-glowing sawdust to every part of the bookcase including its contents, the walls, and the floor in an attempt to find invisible or otherwise hidden items. Unfortunately, the second time was not the charm. At that point, I called a halt.

“Ladies, my magic is just about depleted. Maybe tomorrow I can dust the rest of the furniture and see what happens.”

Twilight sighed. “We might as well return the books to their rightful place, then. We can poke around in Celestia’s Chamber as well.”

After finding the hole in the wall with my forehoof, I unlocked the bookcase which triggered the portal behind it. As with every other time we had visited here, I took the lead. Maybe “Celestia” had to go in first to prevent the room’s defenses going off and maybe not, but there was no need to risk anypony’s safety.

We jogged up to the two bookshelves and Twilight levitated the remaining books (and bag) to their previous locations. I had enough glowing sawdust left to coat the insides and outsides of both bookcases. Again, nothing found.

Trixie said, “You also need to check the back of the bookcases as well. Twilight, can you pull them away from the walls?” Twilight nodded and carefully rotated the shelving so that they appeared to be double doors opened from the middle with hinges on the outside.

“What’s that?” I asked. Stepping up to the revealed section of wall, I saw a familiar circular hole nearly at eye level.

“One second.” I cantered back across the room to the hole next to the portal we had used to enter the chamber. I lowered my head until it pointed to the center of the depression. After jogging back to the far side of the room, I did the same to the new opening. “It’s a good six inches lower than the other hole, and this one is a bit wider.” I gently pushed my horn into the opening until it bottomed out, much sooner than it had done with the hole in Trixie’s quarters. After channeling a bit of magic into my horn with no result, I could only come to one conclusion that Twilight said aloud.

“This has to be a portal to Luna’s secret chamber. So it does exist.”

As I removed my horn from the shallow depression in the wall, Trixie said, “And it is tuned to her magic alone, doubtless. Perhaps Nyx can open this for us?”

Twilight shook her head. “I don't think so. I’ve been doing extensive testing with my daughter and had a chance to do a couple of sessions with Luna before she left. Their magical signatures are quite different, though perhaps Nyx’s will mature with her body as she grows up.”

I said, “Twilight… is there anything in Luna’s chambers that might retain a portion of Luna’s magic? Didn’t she make a model of the sun, moon, and several stars rotating around Equus that could be switched on?”

“The orrery you are talking about only moves when magic is applied; it doesn’t have any stored in it. I haven’t run into any charged mana crystals in her chambers, but I’ll go back and look.” Twilight then slowly rotated the bookshelves back against the wall of the stone chamber. “Actually, I know there aren’t any. I just remembered that I scanned for active magic sources in both Celestia and Luna’s rooms after the Elements finally returned from the Crystal Empire.”

“That was shortly after the diarchs disappeared, correct?”

Twilight nodded and we lapsed into silence.

Trixie motioned with her head towards the portal back to her chambers. As was our standard practice, I was the last one to leave.

After Trixie’s bookcase was once more resting against the white marble of her outer wall, Twilight turned to us with a twinkle in her eye. “Well, if you are both not ready to sleep yet, we could get in more magic practice?”

I swear that mare liked to teach almost as much as she liked to research and read books. Not tonight though! I had other plans that only involved my wife. “Say, Trixie, isn’t it Friday? Doesn’t that mean Thorax leaves at noon tomorrow?”

The purple alicorn made a little jump and her smile vanished. “Oh! Ah… actually, I just remembered I have new things to try… I mean things to do.”

Trixie’s stage presence was flawless. “Are you sure, Twilight? I’m kind of in the mood for an hour of magic lessons right now, and that doesn’t happen just any night.”

Twilight had backed up slowly until her rump hit the door. “No, I mean not tonight. You know, Thorax gets lonely and… um… Good night!” She opened the door and slithered through at impressive speed. We heard galloping hoofsteps echoing further and further down the corridor.

My wife chuckled as her magic closed the door again. She put her forelegs around my neck and kissed me deeply. When we came up for air, she said, “So can you think of any new things to try?”

“Hmmm…” I tapped the floor with a hoof. “Well, I don’t have quite the selection of forms that Thorax has at his beck and call, but I believe I can give you a surprise or two.”

She smiled. “Would that be the good kind of surprise or the bad kind?”

“How about I let you be the judge?” I switched to my long-maned Marklestia form and began nibbling Trixie’s neck.

“Oh, I suppose.” She shivered when I found a particularly sensitive spot. “Just be prepared to have to repeat the experiment until I’m… Ah! … I’m confident in my conclusions.”

Yep. Even when she was talking nerdy, my wife was awesome.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art of Prince Thorax by Evehly.

Chapter 52 - Can Starlight Glimmer Stand The Heat?

Exacting Starlight Glimmer’s penance proved to be trickier than I had anticipated. I took her to the Tasty Treat for lunch only to discover a crowd outside the door. A quick inquiry with the ponies in line and we immediately headed back to the castle. We were a victim of our success in promoting the restaurant as it currently had a wait time for a table of almost two hours. I was gratified to see ponies of every social class waiting patiently for their turn to sample Saffron Masala’s cuisine.

On the second try, we avoided the obvious lunchtime rush. Unfortunately, that idea occurred to a lot of other ponies too along with one of the few minotaurs who lived in the city. The line contained an especially large number of the City Guard who took their breaks between peak citizen activity. This time, I got smart and went inside to talk to Coriander Cumin about reserving a table for later in the day. The stallion looked offended.

“Reservations are for lazy ponies! If you really wish to dine here, you must make the effort.”

“Father!” Saffron’s voice floated out from the nearby kitchen. “You cannot expect everypony to have the time to wait in line.”

“As long as I am in charge of hosting, I will not prioritize anypony. No reservations!”

I was both surprised and impressed by Coriander’s ethics. Considering how so many ponies would bow and scrape in front of royalty, the stallion was unwaveringly adamant in his equal treatment of all customers, and this in spite of the fact that we were the ones responsible for bringing in those clients. When some of the City Guards offered their places to us, I politely refused. Not only did I not want to make a mockery of Coriander’s policy, but I also was not the kind of person to abuse my authority like that. Starlight’s grin at seeing me stymied yet again was starting to get to me.

“Isn’t it a shame that you can’t pull rank as is due your station, Prince Mark Wells?”

I snorted. “I think you’ve been around me well enough to know that isn’t how I do things. Just you wait. Your time will come.”

“We’ll see,” chuckled the mare with a spring in her step.

We surprised Sterling Shield when we returned early to the castle once more. Upon hearing the reason, he gave me a knowing smile. “If I may suggest, Your Highness, go to the restaurant on Thursday afternoon. The Tasty Treat will be hosting a private event for military ponies. I can pass the word to expect you two.”

I blinked in confusion for a moment. “But… if Coriander won’t take reservations, how did you get the restaurant to yourselves for the event?”

“Work the system, sir. If the management will only take ponies on a ‘first come – first served basis’, then make sure that you have your group in place to guarantee that you will fill every table by the time the event starts. That way, we relieve Mr. Coriander Cumin of the responsibility of seating ponies.”

“That’ll do it, although I suppose we’ll still have to stand in line for a while.”

“Not necessarily, Your Highness. My partner and I can ask for a table for four if that is amenable to you.”

“Excellent. Let me know when to turn up.” Then something occurred to me. “Partner?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sterling just smiled in reply.

“O-okay. I suppose I’ll find out more then.”

After confirming the time, Starlight and I got back to work. She had come up with a few suggestions already on how to improve Equestrian weapons and armor that we were investigating for practicality and affordability. The budget had been getting a little strained lately due to unusual outlays for such things as the Dark Magic therapy, massive upgrades to the military, and all of Twilight’s research teams getting a new shot of blood thanks to Red Changelings adding their skills and knowledge.

When Thursday afternoon came around, Starlight, Penumbra, and I got into the Royal Sky Chariot as usual for the trip into the city. Upon being told our destination, the two Royal Guards pulling the chariot shared a knowing grin. Only then did I really wonder what the private event was for but I figured that I would find out soon enough.

There was quite a crowd of soldiers outside of the restaurant but our timing was good. Sterling was waiting with only two others in front of him. While I got respectful salutes from the Guards, they were off-duty, as evidenced by them all being out of uniform, and they were more relaxed around me than normal. I noted that they included a couple of the new griffon recruits. One even said, “We’ve been looking forward to you joining us, sir.”

Sterling had obviously made sure that the others would know to expect us so that we would not be thought to be queue-jumping. We took our place next to him and I got to meet his partner. I smiled in recognition.

“Corporal Keen Eyes – a pleasure to see you again,” I said.

Since none of the off-duty Guards was wearing their helmet, it was easy to see the mare blush a little as she leaned up against Sterling. “I’m glad that you could join us, Your Highness.”

“Consider me off-duty too, Keen – call me Mark, please. So – you and Sterling?”

Her blush deepened and she nodded shyly.

I looked at Sterling with an eyebrow raised questioningly.

“She knows,” he replied quietly.

I wondered how many other changelings had partners or even lovers who knew what they were. None of my business normally, but considering what we were trying to do for pony-changeling relationships, it was relevant. Keen Eyes’ work with Thorax and Twilight might have influenced her feelings though.

“So,” I said, changing the subject to save the mare from further embarrassment, “what’s the special event that’s drawing in so many Royal Guards?”

Sterling replied, “I introduced my fellow soldiers to the Tasty Treat and in particular to my favorite meal there. It started a new tradition.”

His favorite…? “You’re seriously getting them all to try the vindaloo?” I asked incredulously.

“You’ll see, sir,” he replied mysteriously as a rather nauseated earth pony emerged from the restaurant.

We were able to enter not long after and we were taken to a table centrally located in the Tasty Treat but Penny chose to watch outside. While the restaurant was still basically laid out the same as I had last seen it, across the room from us, one of the tables had been pulled aside a little to allow a line of Guards to queue up in front of it. Seated at the table was a pegasus who wasn’t eating but seemed to be watching intently as a unicorn hesitantly lifted a fork full of what I recognized was the chicken vindaloo. I observed as what would have normally been a fearless soldier scrunched up his eyes and brought the fork to his muzzle. He hesitantly put it in his mouth and gave it a chew and swallow before his eyes bulged out and he grabbed for a waiting glass of water. He nearly choked on it and stood up coughing and spluttering as his fellow Guards cheered and slapped him on the back. He was given high hooves as he made way for the next victim. Sterling took advantage of the pause to introduce the judge-mare as Specialist Rampant Gale. We nodded to each other in acknowledgment and she went back to watching the next in line—a burly earth pony stallion with a halberd for his cutie mark.

“Okay, is this some kind of hazing?” I asked Sterling.

“No, more like an initiation into an elite group,” he replied.

“What elite group?”

“Fire-meat-eating ponies,” he replied with a grin.

“That vindaloo is full-strength?”

“Yep. First, each pony has to get up the nerve to eat at least one bite of meat. If they want the bragging rights of having more, that’s up to them. Because pegasi and thestrals frequently will indulge in fish, they have to eat at least two bites. However, all ponies have to survive the fiery curry. Even the griffons have a hard time with that.”

I gave Starlight a toothy smile. “Looks like you’re going to have to outdo all these Royal Guards. Think you’re up to it?”

“Do I have a choice?” she replied with ears flattened to her head.

“Nope. You are required to eat an entire serving, and if you fail, you have to try again another time.”

“Celestia help you!” Keen Eyes exclaimed.

“You’ve been initiated already, I gather?” I asked Keen.

“Yes, I have. I had to eat two bites as I’m a pegasus. My head nearly exploded.”

I chuckled as I knew what that image was doing to Starlight. Coriander came along just then to take our orders. Sterling, unsurprisingly, ordered a medium-strength chicken vindaloo but Keen went for something a lot milder – the spinach dish palak paneer. I ordered a mild heat cauliflower and potato curry entrée called Aloo Gobi Masala that sounded interesting… and of course, a dish of chicken vindaloo for Starlight. I made sure that Coriander understood that I wanted it full five-alarm-strength for her. He gave her a doubtful look but took the order. Then we waited and watched the Guard initiation continue while Rampant Gale watched carefully to ensure they didn’t cheat somehow. Some coped better than others, and while the burn would not be soon forgotten, I knew that it was the memory of eating chicken that nauseated them. Except for the griffons, of course. They confidently ate the vindaloo before squawking in alarm. It was hilarious watching the water squirting from the sides of their beaks as they tried to quench the fire in their mouths.

Eventually, the ponies at our table were served their meals. As Starlight stared doubtfully at her full plate, I stood up and loudly called for attention.

“Mares, stallions, and griffs, while I admire your audacity in trying the vindaloo, I’m afraid my Advisor is going to have to show you all up. Starlight Glimmer is about to attempt to eat an entire serving of full-strength chicken vindaloo, right here, right now. Starlight, are you ready?”

“Are you kidding me?” she replied sourly.

“Yep – you’ve got no choice, ready or not. And no magic tricks or you start all over again.”

“O-Okay. Give me a second.” She took a deep breath while looking at the plate in front of her.

Discussion started up among the guards who had crowded inside after hearing my pronouncement.

“Five bits she doesn’t get more than four bites.”

“Fifteen she doesn’t get further than halfway through.”

Sterling barked out a laugh that got everyone’s attention. “I’ll take every one of those bets if you’re all dumb enough to make them. This here is Starlight Glimmer. She defeated the Captain of the Guard and two of the best Royal Bodyguards in the force—all while holding off attacks from the alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now she’s playing hoofball on our team. You should be making bets on how long it will take her to finish.”

All of the guardsman’s eyes shifted from the plate of vindaloo up to Starlight’s nervous face.

“Twenty-five bits on ten minutes!”

“I’ve got forty bits for anyone who thinks it will take her longer than eight!”

I smiled to myself. Sterling had deftly shifted the spectators to rooting for her.

I gave the soldiers a minute to make their bets and for Starlight to get up her nerve. Loudly, I said, “Begin!”

She took a deep breath and started shoveling the food into her mouth as fast as she could. Not a bad technique, I admit. She was trying to get it down before the burn set in. Too bad that it didn’t take long for the fire in her mouth to become nigh unbearable. Nevertheless, she kept going. The Guards stared in wonder and then started chanting in encouragement.

“Go! Go! Go!”

Starlight started sweating profusely and each bite progressively took longer to cope with but she powered through it all. Her eyes did seem to almost puff out of her face and her pupils reduced to pinpricks. I had to stifle my laughter at her facial expressions because that wouldn’t be fair to her. Not once did her fork waver as she levitated the next mouthful up. Sterling and Rampant were watching carefully to ensure none of the magic she was using to levitate the fork was used to deal with the food in any way. Then she was down to the last mouthful and she seemed to relax a tad.

“You got this!” yelled a thestral mare.

Starlight smiled and turned to face her. “What can I say? It’s my favorite dish!”

She stared at the last bite and seemed to have second thoughts. Slowly, she brought it to her lips. She opened her mouth and took it in, shuddering and wincing, but then she swallowed, belched loudly, and opened her mouth to show that it was empty.

Pandemonium broke out as the Guards burst into an enormous cheer. Four of them grabbed her and hoisted her up onto their withers and carried her through the restaurant as others gave her congratulatory slaps in passing. They exited the establishment with the rest of the raucous soldiers following. The last that I saw of her was the mare raised up onto even more hooves as they paraded her down the street. Only Sterling, Keen, Rampant Gale, and I were left in the suddenly empty restaurant. Even those Guards waiting to get in had followed the others having witnessed Starlight’s feat through the open door. Penumbra looked inside with a raised eyebrow but chose not to say anything.

Sterling said, “I reckon Starlight’s reform is off to a good start. She’s managed to earn the respect and admiration of a group of ponies that would have otherwise been very difficult to win over.”

I smirked. “I hope she enjoys it while it lasts. Tomorrow, she’s going to find out that what goes in must come out again.”

Sterling gave me a long look before he shook his head. “Starlight Glimmer’s assessment was right, sir. You are, indeed, a pain in the ass.”

My smile just grew broader. “You just need to look on the bright side, Sterling. Now that it’s nice and quiet in here, we should be able to enjoy our meals properly.”

Keen Eyes brought a hoof up but couldn’t hide her smile. Rampant Gale laughed while Sterling sighed. “I knew having you spend that much time with Sergeant Penumbra was a bad idea.”

Penumbra called out from the entrance to the shop, “My understudy is gradually improving, but I will always be the Grandmaster of Snark.”

I shook my head. Even here, she managed to get in the last word.

I ran into Twilight practically skipping down the hallway a few weeks later. “Good evening, Twilight. I see you are in a great mood today.”

She laughed. “Is it that obvious? I guess I'm not that surprised. Starlight has been doing so well at her friendship lessons! If she keeps this up, I may have to spend an evening just thinking up new ones! We're already at the point where she's teaching the concept of friendship to others.”

I smiled. Starlight had been a tiny bit full of herself lately. Apparently, acing her way through Twilight’s lesson plans had something to do with it.

Hmmm. Should I? Or rather, why should I not? “I'm very glad you are getting along so well with my Advisor. All things considered, I didn't really expect that.”

Twilight stopped her pleased humming and looked me in the eyes. “All things considered?”

I waved a hoof. “Well sure... I mean... doesn't she still have a book checked out that's way overdue?”

The mare blinked a couple of times.

“Star Swirl’s book of spells?” I offered helpfully.

Twilight’s eyes went white and her mane caught on fire. Just before she teleported away, the alicorn twisted her mouth in a fearsome scowl.

A few seconds later, I heard Twilight's Royal Canterlot Voice echoing through the hallways of the castle, “STAAAAAAARLIIIIIIIIIGHT!”

Whistling a happy tune, I continued my trot toward my wife’s chambers.

Just before I reached it, Starlight tore around the far corner of the hallway at a full gallop. She had to put three hooves up on the wall to keep from skidding face-first into it. The two door guards tensed as she approached, her wide eyes and flattened ears enough to cause them alarm. I waved the two back to their positions by the wall just as the mare zoomed by in a clatter of horseshoes.

Her head only turned towards me fractionally as she blurted out,
“BossIgottagotoOurTownI’llbebackassoonasIcanbye!”

I got a whiff of something unpleasant after she passed. Looking after her, I saw a thin stream of smoke coming from her tail.

“Wow,” said the guard on my right – Gilded Buckler, I think from his voice and build. “Her tail really is on fire.”

I turned to look him in the eyes with my most serious expression. “Never piss off a librarian. Never ever.”

He nodded enthusiastically with a fearful gaze down the corridor.

Resuming my happy tune, I pushed open the doors to my wife’s chambers. All was right with the world again.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 53 - Games Ponies Play

A castle maid entered the dining room and walked up to stand beside me.

“Pardon me, Your Highness – I have a letter for you.”

By necessity as one of the rulers of Equestria, all mail intended for me went through the castle staff first, then to my personal assistant, Starlight, vetted for urgency and relevance. While I was flattered by the sheer amount of mail that I started receiving after becoming a prince, there are only so many ways to tell prospective mares that I wasn’t planning to change Equestrian Law to make herds legal and start one anytime soon, or diplomatic ways of telling citizens that I couldn’t possibly attend every ribbon-cutting ceremony in a city that thrived on frequent events like those.

However, there were a few exceptions to the rule, and judging by the familiar scent imbued upon the missive, I already knew which one this was. I thanked the maid and opened the letter. I smiled and looked up to see Trixie gazing curiously at me. “Rarity has just finalized her Spring Fashion Line.”

My wife’s eyes lit up. “Trixie presumes that this will entail the usual pre-release modeling session?”

I grinned. My business partner always made Celestia-sized versions for me to strut down the catwalk, not to mention some new unique designs specifically for me. My wardrobe was getting quite full of them. Perhaps one day I’d get to wear them in public outside of Ponyville, but for now, the modeling sessions were my and Rarity’s guilty pleasure and my spouse never missed the opportunity to watch one. Few of my close friends ever did.

“Yep. It’s this weekend.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Weren’t you and your friends doing an Ogres & Oubliettes session this weekend too?”

“Yes, but that’s on Saturday. Rarity knew that I would be in town for it, so she scheduled the modeling for Sunday.”

“Ah – that makes sense. Trixie hopes that Lady Rarity has finished her special commission so that it may be collected then.”

It was my turn to give my wife a puzzled look. “Special commission? You’ve not mentioned that before.”

“You are indeed perceptive, Dowser.”

I opened my mouth to ask what it was when my brain caught up. Wife being mysterious. Special commission. Probably meant as a surprise. Shut your mouth, Mark. I did so and pushed my curiosity down – I’d find out soon enough.

As was a regular occurrence for us at the end of the week, Trixie and I, along with our retinue, headed to the station for the Ponyville Express Special. The railway company had taken note of the great increase in the frequency of the impromptu royal visits and had added a regular Friday evening service that ran express to its namesake. A similar service reversed the route on Sunday evening. This was of benefit to the growing number of Ponyville citizens who regularly worked in Canterlot but preferred to be home for the weekend. It enabled us all to enjoy a leisurely trip which nonetheless got us to our destination fairly quickly. That gave us all a chance to chat at Twilight’s castle and catch up on the week’s happenings. Some of them were more remarkable than others.

“Let me tell you about how I became the Dragonlord,” Spike announced.

We all stared at him in utter disbelief but I noticed Twilight wearing a knowing grin. Okay – there was definitely a story here.

“Alright, Spike – let’s hear it,” I said.

So he told us all about how he had received an irresistible summons from Torch, the Dragonlord, and attended the convocation of hundreds of dragons where Torch announced that he was retiring and passing on the mantle of leadership. Ambitious dragons had to compete to gain the staff that was the magical symbol of power. Spike hadn’t intended to participate but he was pressured into it. The task was difficult but the little drake was true to his upbringing in the pony way and his selfless cooperation with another dragon was rewarded. And that’s how Spike became Lord of all dragonkind.

For about a minute!

Spike passed the mantle on to the dragon who had gone out of her way to help him, showing him her great leadership potential. I looked forward to meeting Ember, the new Dragonlord. Although she was the daughter of Torch, it sounded as if she would be a progressive voice among the notoriously hidebound and aggressive race. As for Spike, he already knew where he belonged. Twilight’s little brother and number one assistant would always be there for her, and that made him a prime substitute for the Element of Loyalty, in my opinion.

Torch’s retirement got me thinking how that would affect Equestria, but I put those thoughts aside for the moment. This was the time for socializing, not work.

“That was amazing, Spike. You never cease to surprise me.” I gave him a grin and a wink. “So, what else is going on here in Ponyville besides young dragons becoming the all-powerful Dragonlord?”

The purple alicorn replied, “Lots of work to be done to get crops sown and projects finished before Mating Season starts. Did you make your plans yet?”

Eep! I’d forgotten about that. “Well, because we’re not 100% sure if I’ll be forced to change into a mare as yet, I was thinking of staying in Canterlot until it’s clear one way or the other. If I become Marklestia, we’ll join you here in Ponyville.”

Twilight looked over to Trixie. “He’s going to stay with you into the Season?”

My wife just smiled slyly.

I said, “Trixie made it very clear that she wants to share every day with me, whichever way things work out.” And I kinda had to make up for leaving her alone last Season too. Despite the risk of pregnancy, she had been very adamant that it was her choice to make. I had already conceded that point and, frankly, I was cool with it. But she had in turn conceded that if I became a mare as expected, I had a promise to keep to Rarity.

Conversation devolved into talk about foals and who had gotten pregnant last Season and who planned to do so this time. I felt that with so much estrogen in the air, I might as well join in, so I switched to my long-maned Marklestia form. Trixie certainly didn’t mind because my large alter-ego wrapped my much smaller wife in a wing hug with occasional kisses hidden by my huge mane and plumage. I suspect our giggles might have given us away though.

Everypony slept in on Saturday. It was a jealously guarded perk after a week’s hard work. Trixie and I were in no hurry to get out of our bed in the morning, so it was approaching noon before we rose to break our fast. Straight afterwards, though, I gave my wife a parting kiss and left to begin setting up for the Ogres & Oubliettes game. At the end of our last meeting, everyone liked the idea of me taking over the role of Dungeon Master for the next session. Now I had to track down Discord and walk through my plan so he could get the campaign props set up. He had already sworn on his Scout’s Honor (including the correct hand gesture) that he would cast a temporary spell on himself that would make him forget those details until the end of the game so it would not spoil the enjoyment of the adventure for either him or his companions. I carefully refrained from pointing out that he never was a Boy Scout... as far as I knew.

As I had hoped, Discord was in the Map Room, trying his paw at interior decorating. I recognized the root structure now attached to the ceiling. The glowing pastel-colored globes of light hanging from the arrangement did nothing to hide its origin. I said, “You know that when Twilight sees this, she’ll freak out. If you got it from the Golden Oak Library she’s been trying so diligently to restore to health, she’s going to have a literal cow.”

Discord continued to squint at the oversized light fixture, rubbing a paw on his chin. “Like you, I don’t really see the appeal. However, one of the dimensions over slantways and twelve parsecs up was unpopulated, so I left a note and took this gaudy eyesore.”

“Do I want to know what killed everypony there?”

“No. No, you don’t. It won’t be coming here, though. I made sure of that.” He clapped his paw and hand together and beamed down at me. “But since we’ll have to wait until later to entertain ourselves with the purple pooh-pooher’s reaction, I believe we have a world to set up. Not cardboard standees this time, I’m guessing?”

“Correct. I think it’s time to move our adventurers into…” I struck a pose and said in my most commanding tone, “… The Third Dimension!”

After Rainbow Dash arrived only ten minutes late, everyone was present and sitting around the Map Table. OK, maybe Discord was snaking his way around and through the root system above us, but no one was paying him any attention. In fact, his update to the décor had generated only a few compliments and an observation from Rainbow Dash that the globe lighting matched the coat colors of the six Element Bearers. I’d missed that detail. We’d see how good her skills of perception were soon enough. Across from me, Spike and Big Mac were carrying on a spirited conversation about what to expect in the next edition of the O&O rulebook due out in a couple of months. I appreciated that Big Mac dropped his laconic two-syllable speaking style as soon as he sat down to play. It made adventuring so much easier when he didn’t have to play a monk every single time. Specifically, a monk whose vow of silence restricted him to just two words.

I cleared my throat and got everyone’s attention. “As I promised, I will be doing the DM duties today in a module of my own design. I will also be playing the speaking NPCs throughout the adventure. You’ll find the setting, weapons, and monsters different this time. No more cardboard cut-outs. Now you will experience real, three-dimensional settings and threats. As always, Discord will ensure that if anyone loses their head, it will be returned by the end of the adventure.” I heard chuckles all around. This was an old joke from an earlier gaming session when Discord’s body had been lost early in the journey and the remaining members took turns ensuring he made it to the Well of Renewal at the end. Of course, decapitation did not even slow down his dialog, with his advice alternately leading us into helpful and harrowing situations.

“Also, I am going to be assigning each of you to an unfamiliar character class to further put you outside your comfort zone. Big Mac, you are a wizard wielding a staff. Rainbow Dash is a bow-wielding archer.”

“Still awesome!” she declared with her trademark huge grin.

I couldn’t help but smile back before I continued. “Spike, you will be the party’s barbarian/tank with a war hammer. Discord is the cleric and wields a mace.”

The draconequus put on a very pious air. “It is against the commandments of the all-powerful Graham Cracker to cause an opponent to bleed. Thus I only carry a weapon that induces minor denting.”

Spike smirked. “And what if said opponent starts bleeding after you dent him halfway through?”

Discord shrugged but maintained his angelic appearance, somewhat aided by the halo over his head and heralding trumpets rising into the air from behind him. “It’s not my fault if their deities designed them so that they leak easily.”

Big Mac rolled his eyes. Out of the bunch, Discord got the most involved in role-play. No one complained as it added another layer of fun to the games.

I asked, “Any questions?” The only responses I got were four pairs of eager eyes staring back at me.

I turned to Discord. “Maestro, the show may begin.”

After a snap of Discord's fingers, everyone found themselves in a standard Equestrian Bar – lots of dark wood everywhere, more than a few stains on the stone tile floor, and the ever-present smell of beer. I switched to my pink-haired Marklestia form and looked behind me. Above the bar was a hastily amended sign:

DEfiniTELY NoT Berry Punch’s Bar

No wonder it looked so familiar. Regardless, I needed to get going. I threw on an apron I found behind the bar and trotted out to the only occupied table.

All four adventurers were now wearing clothes that matched their player class. Discord wore a deep purple robe and hood. Rainbow Dash’s natural flair marvelously pulled off the green tunic and woodspony cap (complete with one of her feathers). Big Mac had on a flowing red cloak that hooked together with a dragon-shaped silver clasp around his neck. If he noticed his omnipresent yoke was gone, he didn’t show any sign of it. Spike had a blue scale-mail shirt over a white undergarment of some sort. All were carrying on a cheerful conversation as I came up and slipped into character.

“Oh! Thank heavens! Would you be the courageous adventuring party that all of Equestria knows by the fame of their bravery?” OK, yeah, I was laying it on thick, so what?

Spike turned to me and said. “Indeed, fair maiden. We have defeated monsters, warlords, demons, trolls, and even a walking squid during our travels.”

I gushed and took a huge intake of breath, clasping both forehooves against my chest in a sign of adulation. “Oh, I am so honored to be in your presence. And I, who am in such dire need! It must be fate itself, or blessings from the great Blueberry Waffle!”

Discord frowned and rapped the table with the handle of his mace, causing the mugs to jump. “We do not follow that pretender! The four of us…” He looked around to see three shaking heads. “… well, I at least direct my panders elsewhere. I am a Crackerovian, through and through.”

I gasped again and fell into a curtsy. “My deepest apologies, oh most learned and devout one. I meant no offense.”

Discord waved a paw. “None taken, little trollop. Our numbers are few and growing lesser all the time.”

Trollop was it? Yes, it was. Time to get back into character. I stood up and began sashaying around the table, trying to maximize my flank and tail’s contact with the party members I passed. Soon I focused on Big Mac. I leaned into him and nuzzled his ear. “My poor, poor little brother who means the world to me. He left this morning to play up at the cave on the mountainside and hasn’t come back. Now I hear there are ferocious…” Kissed the earth pony’s jaw. “… scary…” Kissed the base of his ear and heard him gulp. “… evil monsters up there. Are you big and strong enough to save him?” I lightly nipped the top of his ear with my teeth.

The stallion dropped straight onto his belly. I tried to act all innocent. “Oh, I’m sorry. Did little-old-me make you weak in the knees?”

He shifted a moment as he looked up at me, and then turned to look straight ahead. “Something like that.”

Rainbow Dash wasn’t even trying to hold back her laughter. She’d be next.

I coiled myself around her lower body. “I would do anything to get my little brother back safe.” I nipped a certain spot on her mane and pulled. Her laughter stopped and her wings popped out to their full wingspan.

“Anything?” asked Discord skeptically.

I waved a hoof. “At least make you anything that the bar can serve up.” I tilted the pegasus mare’s hat over her eyes before swaying my way to the draconequus. I nuzzled my head under his chin for a moment. “I am so, so, so grateful that you are here.” I lifted my head and started to hover as I bent his neck backward. “Surely all of you can understand the utter direness of my situation!” I continued to push his head further and further until it rested literally on his back. “Can you imagine the desperation I feel right now? Will you not help me?”

Discord wheezed out, “I think I am beginning to see things from her perspective.”

One more. I strode confidently up to Spike who gave me the stink eye. I smiled back. “And you are clearly the leader of this august band of heroes. Will you accept this quest and further cement your legacy?”

Spike snorted and turned away. “I think not. Pretty talk and a wiggly rump will only get you so far, miss.”

I leaned down to speak softly into his ear. “Free root beer until closing.”

I had to jerk my head back quickly to avoid being hit in the snout by a leaping dragon. Now standing in a wide stance on the table, Spike lifted his war hammer skywards. “Now that’s a cause I can fight for!”

“Here, here!” I heard from all around the table. Everyone stood up and raised their mugs except for Big Mac, who apparently needed a bit more time to recover.

After politely refusing their coin for a minute or so, the party wizard was able to stand again safely. The four began to file out as I set to work cleaning the table.

Rainbow Dash turned back to me. “Hey! What’s the kid’s name?”

I shrugged. “Does it really matter? He never even looks my way when I yell out his name and ask him to do something. Since you are all strangers, you’ve got even less of a chance. Just call him ‘Shrimp’.”

Right after they left, I tapped the back of my left front pastern twice and saw it disappear along with every other part of my body that was in view. Now that the party couldn’t see me, I exited the building and took to the air. The group was ascending the one path towards a very realistic mountain. Discord had warned me not to fly beyond the clearing I could see ahead of them, as his pocket dimension had limits in the form of unyielding walls that could not be seen. I hovered a hundred feet or so above the group to watch their progress.

After a couple of minutes, a series of clanks and whirrs caused Spike to hold up a hand to stop the group. A metallic construct blocked their path and now slowly moved closer. The center was a silvery dome about the size of a pony covered with lights of different colors. The dome rotated occasionally, making it appear to be scanning every member of the party. Its three legs that also served as arms were arranged in a tripod, each made of overlapping sections of the same metal. The legs were two body-lengths long and ended in a grasping array of three curved spikes.

Following their leader’s orders, the party fanned out around the clockwork apparatus and it spun its central core repeatedly, almost like it was confused which way to turn. Suddenly, with surprising speed, it raced towards Big Mac and cocked a leg to the left once it was in range. Before it could strike, the earth pony shot the limb with a beam from his staff that encased the lower half of the leg in ice. After the briefest hesitation, the beast moved forward a bit more and struck the party’s wizard with the frozen appendage. Big Mac sprawled to the ground with an ‘Oof!” but quickly jumped up again. In the meantime, Spike rushed forward to strike the beast, calling out, “Come on, guys! Now’s our chance!” Belatedly, the rest of the party closed in and took the opportunity to pound the distracted machine. A strike from Spike’s war hammer broke off the end segment to one arm, while Discord’s mace strike missed and three quick arrows from Rainbow Dash yielded only a single hit that stuck in one of the red dots on the dome.

Grunts of effort and yells of encouragement floated up to me as, little by little, the party wore down the mechanical beast. At last, with a final blow to the dome by Discord, the remainder of the creature fell apart.

The four tired but elated adventurers clasped limbs above their vanquished foe then started retelling their exploits as they walked up the trail once more.

Their happy joking and camaraderie died out when they heard clanking and humming noises just ahead. Moments later, a second identical beast crested the hill in front of them and charged.

The second beast went down with a bit less effort than the first, but the third took much longer. The party’s efforts were complicated by Rainbow Dash flying wherever she chose rather than keeping to one side. As a result, the monster would attack whomever was on the opposite side of where she was supposed to be. Also, Spike’s orders to the rest of the party were sometimes vague, requiring time wasted in getting clarification. Finishing off the fourth monster was by no means a sure thing, with the archer out of commission and designated as “unconscious” at zero hit points and Big Mac wielding his staff as a club by the end if the battle.

Discord restored everyone to two-thirds health then declared his healing magic was used up for the next twenty rounds. Rainbow announced she could only make five-second flights until she got back some of her depleted endurance points.

“So do we rest here and regain our spell, endurance, and hit points or do we press on?” asked Big Mac.

“It looks like the ground flattens out into a clearing just ahead,” said Rainbow Dash, “I’m betting that was the last of them.”

Discord reached into his robe, pulled out a set of knucklebones and rolled them on the ground. He stared at the macabre dice with a frown, tapping his chin.

“Well, what does your patron deity have to say?” asked Spike.

“ ‘Out to Lunch. Try again later.’ ” Discord swept up the makeshift cubes and returned them to his pocket. In a hurt tone, he said, “If the Great and All-powerful Graham Cracker was a pony, I would just call him/her/them/it lazy. Not even good for a joke to add frivolity to our day.”

Spike looked between the party members for a few moments. “Let’s go on. If we’re done, we’re done. If not, we’ll improvise; after this many adventures, we’re experts.” He held his arm out and it was quickly grasped by the remaining three.

“Are you guys ready?” asked Spike.

“Hey!” protested Rainbow Dash.

“Meant in the most general sense, like ‘Hey, you guys.’”

“Oh, OK. Yeah, I’m ready.”

The four spread out as the trail widened. They jogged to the crest where they entered a wide, flat field in front of them. Knee-high grass rippled in flowing patterns in the chill breeze. A scattering of blue flowers poked above the meadow, adding to the tranquility of the scene. A cave pierced the mountain on the far side, its depths lost in shadow. In front of the opening, with a loud clank and a rising whine, something very large stood up.

Easily three times the size of its smaller brethren, the machine had a thick cylinder in the center, again covered with spots of several colors. Its legs were proportionally longer and thicker, and as it moved, all six of them came into view. The metal used to make the beast appeared to be the same but had reinforcing ribs and plates over its leg segments. It moved with a deeper whine and the bass thump of its legs hitting the ground made me a bit afraid, even from my spot far above the reach of those clawed limbs.

Unlike the previous encounters, the four adventurers made no attempt to spread out as it approached. Instead, when the monster reached the center of the field and continued without pause, Spike called out, “Tactical retreat!”

I had to chuckle a bit as their pell-mell scamper down the mountainside looked nothing like an organized anything. I dipped a wing and poured on some speed to reach the tavern before the adventurers. As I landed, I tapped my left front pastern two times and I could see my forelegs again. After tapping my right front pastern twice, my legs were a dull orange color. I reached up and felt the moustache part of my disguise. Yep. A nice, ridiculously long handlebar on each side.

Looking across the street, I saw the newly appeared sign declaring “Carnival of Fate.” Turning my head to noises on my left, I watched the exhausted party come around the side of the tavern. Showtime.

“Did you see what those first two beasts were doing?” asked Discord.

“Yep,” said Big Mac. “They were reforming.”

Rainbow Dash raised her hooves and looked skywards. “Auuuuugh! That means we’ll have to bust them apart again!”

Spike turned his war hammer over in his grip. “There has to be a secret to defeating them, or maybe we need something stronger than our current weapons.”

Sounded like my cue. “Greetings, my fellow travelers! Scrambled Egg is my name and solving problems is my game! Sounds like you’ve been having troubles with the local wildlife that… uh… isn’t technically alive.” I tried to recover with a beaming smile and a twirl of my waxed moustache.

Spike looked up at me suspiciously. “Indeed.”

After waiting a bit for him to continue, I said, “Ahhh, the joys of youth. I used to be an adventurer like the rest of you, but I took an arrow to the knee and now I am reduced to assisting brave, stalwart heroes like yourselves... for a nominal fee. No, not even a fee, a favor, rather!”

Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs and frowned. “Exactly what kind of fee?”

I waved a hoof. “Never mind that right now. First, I must prove to you the worth of my services.” I waved to Spike to come closer. “Please, sir! Step up and try your hand.”

When he was close, I handed him a standard, ordinary hatchet. Next, I reached down to pick up a wooden cube the size of his head. A thick coat of white paint covered every face. I placed it on a low and slightly angled tree stump nearby then stood back.

“Please, noble barbarian. Take a swing. Attempt to cleave the block in two.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow at me, then walked up to the stump. He lifted the hatchet and brought it down hard. The blade struck and the block bounced away. A sizable chip flew off a different direction.

I smiled. “Well struck, sir! Now if you would just hold that out towards me for a moment.” I pulled a short wand from my mane as Spike did so.

Putting on a serious face, I touched my wand to the blade of the hatchet. In my most solemn voice, I intoned, “Aurum Mortadella.” The hatchet took on a pleasant, golden glow from the bottom of the handle to the top edge of the blade.

I retrieved the wood block and placed it on the stump again, giving Spike a fresh face to strike.

“Now try, young sir! Try with all your considerable might!”

Spike growled as he raised the weapon and brought it down with a war cry. This time, he cut the block cleanly in two.

The party shared a look with each other then returned to staring at me. As I retrieved the hatchet from Spike, I nodded my head. “I’m glad you asked! As you know, my old bones can’t do what they used to. I promised my sweet, sweet little filly that I would get her all four princess toys from the Carnival that’s in town.”

I gestured with a hoof to the other side of the street. Not much of a Carnival, to be honest. A sign and a few prize game stands, but hey, Discord and I could only get in so much prep time. I let the party look it over for a few seconds then got their attention. “Four permanent plus to hit and damage enchantments in return for four plush princesses. Good luck!”

The party trudged under the sign then up to the nearest carnival prize booth while I followed close behind.

There were a total of four carnival stations arranged in a cross with their backs to an empty area in the center. All had the standard wide netting on the sides with several foal-sized plush toys hanging high up. The closest booth had Princess Twilight plushies as the prize. A teenage unicorn colt stood slack-jawed just behind the counter, a terminally bored expression on his face. A black curtain hid the game area, and on the counter rested a large slingshot and four silver balls, each the size of an orange.

Spike stepped up and picked up the slingshot and one of the spheres. And waited. He turned to the attendant. “Well? Pull back the curtain.”

In response, the young pony used a forehoof to tap a symbol that was previously under the slingshot.

Spike looked down. “Oh.” Turning, he held out the slingshot, “Discord! There’s a cleric symbol on the counter.”

“Oh, how fun!” said the draconequus, grabbing the slingshot with his paw and taking the ball with his clawed hand. The colt nodded and pulled back on a giant lever that came out of the ground. Obediently, the curtains pulled back, revealing a wall consisting of a hundred or so multi-color blocks. Yellow was the most common color, but green, red, blue, and purple blocks were also present.

Discord lifted the slingshot with his paw, loaded and pulled back the basket with his clawed hand, and closed one eye. Just before releasing, his paw jerked and the shot went high and wide. One of the Twilight Sparkle dolls swayed wildly.

The colt running the stand snorted but quickly wiped his grin away. Discord turned with an unapologetic smile. “Oops. Must have slipped.”

I got just as big of a grin out of his antics as everyone else... except Spike who apparently felt a bit protective of his big sister, even by proxy. Discord fired off the next three spheres in quick succession, leaving over half of the blocks still standing. The attendant pushed his lever forward and then back again. The black curtains closed then reopened a few seconds later. The wall was whole again although the blocks were rearranged.

The colt reached down to pick up four more balls and put them on the counter. “Awwww... Too bad, so sad, geezer. Fail again... oh, I mean ‘Try again!’” He snorted. “Yeah, as if.”

Big Mac said, “I guess these guys don’t get tips very often.”

Rainbow Dash said, “Gee, I wonder why?”

Spike said, “Probably because they are as salty as you are.” That earned him a glare but a few chuckles from everyone except the mare. “Find your stations, guys.”

Soon, each party member stood before one of the booths, slingshot in hand or hoof or paw. I set myself up so I could watch both Discord on my right and Rainbow Dash on my left. Spike was further around to my left and Big Mac was further around to my right. Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash called out, “Hey! Knocking down a red block causes other blocks to fall!”

Spike called back, “Same with the purple blocks!”

After a minute, Discord said, “I’m still left with blocks at the end. I can’t get all of them down.”

This was tacitly agreed with until Big Mac yelled, “I got it! There are four blue blocks. That’s the puzzle’s weak spot. Shoot all of them and the whole wall falls down.”

Jogging around to the right, I got a quick glimpse of Big Mac’s demolished wall just as the curtains began closing. His attendant sighed then reached down to pick up something small which he then gave to Big Mac. I looked over the party mage’s shoulder to take a better look. It was a wooden coin with the words “YOU WON!” on one side. He flipped it over to read “YAY!” on the other.

“But,” said Big Mac, “I wanted the princess.”

“How do we win the princess doll?” said Rainbow Dash, who had stopped playing to watch from the spot in front of her counter.

For the first time, I saw a station attendant smile openly. In fact, all three that I could see were grinning, and not in a pleasant way. The teenage colt running Big Mac’s game twisted the knob at the top of his lever three times, then pulled back hard. Along with the black curtains opening, three huge, segmented wooden arms rose from behind the booth. Simultaneously, the same number rose from behind the remaining booths. Discord’s were painted purple, Rainbow’s green, Spike’s blue, and Big Mac’s were red. When they toppled forwards, the party members weren’t the only ones that had to scramble to get away as I had forgotten that I was so close to look at Big Mac’s coin.

Again at a safe distance, the adventurers regrouped while the flailing arms pounded the spaces in front of them. I used that time to return to my spot between Spike and Discord’s booths.

Spike said, “I have a ball but I can’t shoot accurately from here.”

Rainbow Dash added, “Yeah. Not to mention the arms getting in the way.”

There was a pause as the appendages continued to pound the dirt.

Big Mac called out, “There is a little space to stand up right at the counter. The arms sometimes bend over that spot, at least for a while.”

Spike said, “Well, let’s see if we can get there.”

They couldn’t, though it was amusing to watch them try. No permanent damage was done, but each member got a few bumps and bruises for their trouble. The party members made some successful shots, only to see their progress wiped out by the puzzle resetting when the player got hit by an arm. Although I think the laughter from the colt attendants whenever that happened may have smarted more.

Rainbow called out. “I think I see it!” She dodged her way to the counter, grabbed a ball, took a shot, then quickly retreated. Panting, she said, “Look for a pattern! There’s a window when you can get in, shoot, then get out.”

One by one, her teammates figured out the right sequence of moves to safely score hits on their targets. The arms on Spike’s game moved slower than the others as a concession to the speed of the player and he was the first to knock out all four blue blocks. His booth attendant pushed his lever forward. The blue arms over the game stretched straight upwards, then retreated behind the back of the stand where they had come from. The teenage colt sighed then reached down and picked up a trumpet. What followed was the saddest, most pitiful excuse for a fanfare I had ever heard in my life. After setting down the trumpet again, he took a long, hooked pole and used it to lift down one of the plush toys from high on the netting— in Spike’s case, Princess Trixie.

Big Mac and Rainbow Dash finished at nearly the same time, resulting in a duel between their carnival game workers as to who could put out the most terrible, off-tune wailing excuse for what was supposed to be a happy sound. I concluded that everyone listening was the loser.

I decided to walk back to my original spot outside the park. A few minutes later, I found that being forty feet further away did lessen the nausea caused by the sound that I can only describe as halfway between a donkey’s bray and a death rattle.

The four strode back to me through the gate of the park, each holding a plush toy.

The party cleric said, “I tell you, the great Graham Cracker is not helping my luck or my skill rolls at all.”

“Which is why none of us follow him... or her or them or it,” said Big Mac.

Spike bellowed out, “Hey, enchanter guy! Here you go! Four princess plushies for your little one, so now it’s time for you to pay up!”

I carefully examined each toy in turn. “Princess Twilight, good... Princess Cadance, fine... the always sexy Princess Trixie...”. I turned to face Spike. “My favorite, actually.” Spike glowered while Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Big Mac and Discord got a laugh out of their reactions.

I frowned at the last figure. “What’s this? Prince Mark in a wedding dress!?” I held it as far away from me as I could, wrinkling up my muzzle. “No. No-no-no-no-no-no. You call that a princess? Look, my little filly may not be the most socially aware pony on the face of Equus, but even she knows the difference between a real princess and this half-assed attempt at wishful-thinking. I mean, who likes cross-dressing stallions?”

“Pot, meet kettle,” grumbled Spike.

I tossed the plush version of myself at their hooves. “Take that thing back. I don’t want to see it again. No, I want the plush toy of Princess Flurry Heart. She’s my little filly’s favorite.”

Discord picked up the future resident of the Island of Unwanted Toys and shoved it into his robe. “But there was no Princess Flurry Heart prize.”

I smirked and waved a hoof towards the carnival. “Look again.”

Now suspended by magic high above the space between the four game stands was a huge plush toy of Flurry Heart, complete with diaper and pacifier. It had to be twice the size of an adult pony.

I poured on the snark. “I mean, how did you miss that?” This earned an amusing grumble from the party archer along with an “I’m watching you” hoof gesture.

“Come on, guys,” said Spike, ignoring my insult. I jogged along, taking my previous spot diagonal to two of the games and a safe distance back.

Each player went back to their same stand. Rainbow Dash got to her spot first so I saw her grab her slingshot and a ball before everyone else had reached their counters. All four attendants pulled their levers at the same time. Immediately, all four sets of segmented arms rose from behind the stands and toppled forwards. The other three members followed Rainbow’s example of beating a hasty retreat to get out of range, having chosen not to risk getting pummeled over trying to grab their slingshots.

Spike yelled, “Hey, Rainbow! What the heck?”

Big Mac said, “No, this is important. All the booths are acting in sync now. I bet we’ll all have to beat our games to win the prize.”

Discord pointed, “That’s not the only thing different. Look at the colors!”

Good. So at least one of them noticed the huge limbs pounding the ground in front of them.

Discord continued, “I’ve got the blue arms now.”

Big Mac said, “Mine are green. Can we rotate around to our old colors?”

“I don’t think so,” called back Spike. “The booths are still tied to our character classes. Who had purple last time?”

“That would be me,” answered Discord.

“What was the pattern?”

“Wait until the arms strike left to right then right to left. Run in on the right side, take a shot, and run out through the middle.”

“Got it. You’ve got blue, so your pattern is to go in through the middle after the middle arm strikes the ground three times. Run out starting on the left, making your way over to the right as you go.”

Instructions were likewise shouted across between Big Mac and Rainbow Dash. Each studied their new obstacle for a time while the ground was repeatedly pummeled by the appendages.

“Is everyone ready?” asked Spike. When he got answering noises in the affirmative, he yelled “Go!”

Each player ran forward together as the windows of opportunity were timed to occur simultaneously. Discord and Spike successfully completed their trials but Rainbow Dash and Big Mac got clobbered.

“Hey, mine reset too!” called out Discord.

Big Mac said, “We all have to succeed together!”

“Let’s try again,” said Spike. “Go!”

This time, Discord was the only one that got knocked down. The third time proved to be the charm. As I retreated to my spot outside the park, I saw the joyous adventurers high-hoofing as dour attendants brought their trumpets up again. Forewarned, I stopped and covered my ears with my forehooves. The Dirge from Hell was soon over, and I saw a much more subdued adventuring party wait for the game workers to levitate the monster-sized plush toy to them.

Back outside the tavern, I idly twirled my moustache while putting on a cheesy grin.

“Are you satisfied now?” asked Big Mac, more sarcasm in his voice than I had ever heard before.

“Yes, yes. Veeeeeeery niiiiiiiiice.” I looked the massive plush princess up and down... and left and right. “Not sure how I’ll be getting it home, though.”

“That would be your problem,” said Spike holding out his war hammer. This was quickly followed by the other three doing likewise with their weapons.

“Fine, fine. A deal is a deal, and you chaps did admirably,” I said as I pulled out my wand.

“Hey!” protested Rainbow Dash.

“‘Chaps’ meant in the most general sense, like ‘guys’,” I clarified. That seemed to mollify the pegasus.

I repeated the previous incantation and now each party member had a weapon that glowed with a rich, golden aura.

I intoned, “Now, with the improvements bestowed upon you, go forth to victory!” Big Mac frowned at my curious wording, but didn’t say anything.

After they left, I switched again to my pink-haired Marklestia form, although my moustache stayed for some reason. Oh, well. A glitch to sort out later. I turned invisible and took to the air, arriving just as the party waited for the first three-legged mechanical monster to approach. I was close enough to hear their discussion.

“So just bash it with our improved weapons?” asked Discord.

Big Mac replied, “Maybe it has weak spots?”

“Hold that thought,” said Rainbow Dash. She lifted into the air and swooped to just outside the range of the beast’s arms. She cocked her bow and let an arrow fly that hit one of the blue spots on the dome. Sparks flew and the monster staggered back a step. She called out, “Blue marks its weak spots!”

“There are blue parts between some of the joints,” said Spike, who demonstrated this by running up and bashing off a third of one leg with a well-aimed blow. In about a minute, they reduced the first beast to nothing but parts. The adventurers surrounded the second and turned it into scrap in half that time. The third and fourth came at the party together, but the group coordinated their efforts into groups of two, with Big Mac and Rainbow Dash breaking off pieces with well-placed shots at a distance. Meanwhile, Discord and Spike stayed close enough to keep the beast’s attention without being in any danger of getting hit.

The party was more winded by the climb than the combat by the time they arrived just below the plateau with the wide meadow.

“Strategy, boss?” said Rainbow.

Spike thought for a moment. “Other than the spots on its central cylinder, I didn’t notice any other blue parts of the big boss. Did anyone else see any?” This was met by three head-shakes. “In that case, I recommend surrounding it and trying to hit those with your arrows and Big Mac’s fire bolts. Other than that, keep calling out your observations. Any other suggestions?” A bit longer this time, but there were three more head-shakes.

“Alright then.” Spike put his hand in the center of the group.

“For the everlasting glory of the Great Graham Cracker!” proclaimed Discord as he put his clawed hand onto Spike’s.

“To save the poor, innocent foal and rid the world of one more monster,” said Big Mac as he put a hoof in the center.

“Because we love to break stuff!” added Rainbow Dash, reaching a hoof forward.

“For free root beer until we can swim in it!” concluded Spike. “Let’s do this!”

The party spread out before cresting into the clearing together. The massive beast seemed to wake up from a resting state, raising its center section off of the ground before marching forward on the thunderous pummeling of its segmented legs.

When it reached the center of the clearing, the party had positioned themselves on all four sides.

“Now!” called out Rainbow Dash as she loosed an arrow. Big Mac was ready and a flaming ball shot towards the creature. Just before the two projectiles hit, the central cylinder turned on its axis and the shots missed their intended marks.

“It’s no use,” said Big Mac. “I can’t hit my target at this range.”

“I have to get closer,” said Rainbow Dash. “I can’t get a good shot from here, and its legs are too long for me to get near enough.”

“Does anyone see any other blue spots?” asked Spike. A chorus of noes answered him. “Then we’ll just have to get closer.”

Cautiously, the party approached the monster, their weapons at the ready.

The adventurers made some ineffective blows on the legs and claws as they avoided its attacks. Then Spike dodged left when he should have gone right and one of the creature’s claws grabbed him around the middle and hoisted him in the air. “Help! It’s got me!”

Rainbow Dash said, “More importantly, there are blue spots all along the underside of its legs!”

Spike stopped yelling to glare at the pegasus. “How is that more important?”

Rainbow called out, “Guys! Keep the two adjacent legs busy! I’m going to free Spike!”

Flying under the raised tentacle, Rainbow shot an arrow point blank into the blue spot on a joint between segments, causing the leg to break apart and the claw to open. Spike started falling (and yelling) again. Rainbow caught him easily and set him down out of range of the creature’s legs. The monster backed a dozen feet away from the party and rotated the injured limb behind itself.

Big Mac called out, “That was great work, Spike! Now you just have to do it five more times.”

“I don’t want to do that five more times!”

Discord said, “Frankly, I don’t know how you made it out of that in one piece. Anyway, Big Mac’s strategy is sound. The blessings of the Almighty Cracker of Unfettered Grahamness will be on you always for your noble sacrifice. Doesn’t a long sermon in your memory sound like a fitting tribute?”

Spike shook his head for emphasis. “No it doesn’t! We need to give it something else to fixate on.”

Rainbow said, “The only other thing we have is a plush doll of a cross-dressing prince.” She held out a hoof and received it from Discord.

Big Mac yelled, “Sacrifice it to the cause!” He grabbed it in his mouth and heaved it at the center of the machine in a high arc. One of the tentacles shot upwards and caught it, only to have blasts from Big Mac and arrows from Rainbow Dash break it apart into several pieces while Discord and Spike harassed the tentacles on either side.

The adventurers used the same tactic again and again, and it was not clear if the mechanical beast or the “Princess Mark” plush toy was taking more of a beating. In short order, three of the beast’s arms were completely gone and it had difficulty trying to balance on the three that remained. The four team members went right up to the central cylinder and pounded on the blue spots until the last one winked out and the machine expired with a final clatter.

The players cheered and embraced, slapping each other on the backs. After a while, they headed off to the cave at the far side of the meadow. I flew ahead and put myself further back in the cavern to witness what they would do next.

The four approached a young colt sleeping on a flat rock just inside the entrance. He had a white coat like his sister and a dull blue mane. Curiously, the number “4” was his cutie mark.

Rainbow Dash walked up to him. “Hey, kid!” No response except another snore. She poked him with the nock of an arrow. “Hey, Shrimp! Wake up! Your sis wants to see you.”

The foal woke up with a huge yawn. He blinked a few times and focused on Rainbow’s face. “OK, I guess so. Don’t know why she sent you guys. I always sleep up here in the afternoons.” He hopped down off of the rock and galloped out of the cave and in the direction of the tavern.

Big Mac said, “What did he just say?”

Spike said, “Who cares? All I care about is who’s buying!”

They hurried down the mountainside as I flew ahead of them. I got to the tavern in plenty of time and tapped my right pastern twice to resume the “Scrambled Egg” persona. I put on my brightest smile as I waited for them to arrive. When they did so, they ignored me and headed for the entrance to the drinking establishment.

Oops. Forgot something. Might as well use it to my advantage. Just before they reached the door, I tapped my left pastern twice and called out, “Hello there! From your smiles, I take it you were successful in vanquishing the monsters.”

They all stopped and turned, though Rainbow Dash reflexively cocked an arrow and pointed it my way before lowering her bow.

“Indeed,” said Discord. “The Invincible Blueberry Waffle came through to grant myself and by extension our party the luck rolls to vanquish our foes.” Only now did I notice that his robe was more blue than purple.

“What happened to being a Crackerovian?” asked Rainbow Dash.

Discord waved his paw dismissively. “No help to us whatsoever. A complete washout of an almighty being, that one. I was most likely the last of his/her/their/its adherents anyway. Besides, I’m not allergic to blueberries, so why not?”

I got their attention again. “I take it the weapons performed satisfactorily?”

“Maybe,” said Big Mac. “Except whenever I scored a hit anywhere that wasn’t a weak spot, I’d swear the damage was the same as when we didn’t have your enchantment. And what happened to your moustache?”

“Very perceptive of you... uh... on both counts.” I had no idea why my moustache had stayed on my Marklestia form. Maybe the world was glitching out more and more. Regardless, I waved my wand and the golden glow winked out on all four weapons. “Instead of counting on the crutch of improved weapons, you four relied on three much more powerful sources of magic: Communication, Observation, and Teamwork. Armed with these, you make a capable and powerful force.”

After a pause, Spike said, “I… guess we did learn all three of those. Even if we didn’t realize it at the time.”

Discord said, “And, unlike the cheap and tawdry enchantment this fraud put on our weapons, the bonuses we get will indeed be permanent.” I frowned but didn’t say anything.

Big Mac rubbed his chin. “Actually, I kind of like being a spell-caster. Me having some sort of ranged weapon from now on would help the party and be more fun.”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I don’t know. We were already pretty awesome.” At a glare from the other three, she said, “But I guess being more awesome doesn’t hurt.”

Spike waved everyone quiet. “Gentlebeings. I recommend we retire to Berry Punch’s bar, where a certain Dungeon Master will be picking up the tab for the evening.”

Rainbow Dash grinned wickedly and went to Big Mac’s saddlebags. She pulled out the much-worse-for-wear but still recognizable plush toy of Prince Mark in a wedding dress. Scorch marks and oil obscured its features and one leg was gone, along with about two-thirds of the fabric. The pegasus said “Tonight we’ll toast our patron as loudly as we can for each round of drinks, just so no pony in the bar has any doubt about who’s really buying.”

I face-hooved. “I should never have put that joke in the module.” With that, I figured the adventure was truly over. I sighed and looked up, changing into my pink-maned Marklestia form. “Ah well. You all definitely deserve it. Let’s head out to Berry Punch’s tavern. First round is a toast to Discord for making all of this possible. Drinks are on me!”

That got full-throated cheers from everyone and Discord got congratulatory slaps on the legs rather than the back on account of his height. All of the clothing and gear disappeared along with the surroundings. Once again, we were standing in the Map Room.

As we trotted towards the entrance to the castle. I levitated my saddlebags from where they were resting against a wall. I turned to Discord, “Oh, and would you mind getting rid of the handlebar moustache now?”

Discord grinned. “Why, yes, I would mind. Thank you for asking. I think it makes you look more… distinguished.”

“You mean ‘ridiculous’.”

“Exactly! It’s quite a good look for you.”

I shook my head. It wasn’t even 10 PM and this had all the hallmarks of a long and memorable night that my ego would not survive.

My Marklestia form had one other great advantage – I could drink most ponies under the table. Extra body mass comes in handy sometimes. I wonder if Celestia counted that among her diplomatic tools? Out-drinking a griffon always impresses them. I know because there was one at the bar that night. Don’t remember his name… okay, maybe I was a teensy bit inebriated. However, between my pegacorn body’s extra capacity for alcohol and keeping up the salty snacks, I was saved from a raging hangover in the morning. Pity it didn’t do the same for the tongue-lashing Trixie gave me for crawling into our bed at 2:00 AM. She was more annoyed about the moustache though – said it turned her off. I suppose it’s a little hard to be amorous when a big handlebar ’tash is tickling places you don’t want tickled.

Anyhow, I was able to get up at a reasonable time of the morning and prepare for the day’s special event. Thankfully, the unwanted lip hair disappeared in my sleep (knowing Discord, only to reappear later at a more inconvenient time) because the first stop was Rarity’s boutique where she was going to do some final fittings for her latest creations in preparation for the fashion parade later. Trixie accompanied me there to pick up her special commission. The two unicorns went into the fitting room without me, but I did hear some muffled delighted squeals. That got me burning with curiosity but I manfully refrained from sticking my nose in. My wife would probably move my bed to the dungeon if I spoiled her surprise.

The fashion parade was scheduled for straight after lunch which all the invited guests attended. While Fleur de Lis was very busy now that she was back into her modelling full time, she made sure to come to my and Rarity’s show, along with her husband, Fancy Pants. I debated whether I should mention that in an alternate world, a changeling queen had her name and was married to that stallion. I’m not sure how that worked out even when dealing with weird probabilities. Perhaps the changeling had taken the original’s place after an accident? I’d have to ask sometime when Twilight paid another visit to the House Path world. She loved picking up bits of odd trivia like that, which is how I had come to know about it. Not that she should have blabbed it to me because it was a secret still, but they knew mine, so I suppose it balanced out.

Everypony who knew my secret outside of Ponyville (excluding certain Royal Guards, Shining, and Cadance) was in attendance for the Spring Fashion Fest, as Rarity called it. It had the usual array of formal, casual, and sensual items which I displayed with the greatest professionalism. With Fleur watching, I felt like I was being judged, but I didn’t let that get in the way of enjoying showing off the outfits. Rarity and I did this because we both got a kick out of it. If it ever became a chore or a job, I’d quit it immediately. I was in it for the fun and the comments of the audience afterwards.

Maybe it was a mistake letting Penny watch the show though. Trixie had been right back when the bat-pony had applied for the bodyguard job that her being a lesbian didn’t stop her from being potential competition. That mare was practically drooling over some of the outfits and the pony wearing them! I suppose self-preservation saved Penny from doing anything after the show. Trixie might have been prepared to share her stallion with a mare like Rarity, but the wisecracking thestral didn’t stand a chance.

I found out that Fleur wasn’t there merely to watch me though. As a favor for what we had done for her, the fashion model had agreed to strut down the catwalk in some outfits that Rarity had designed with Fleur specifically in mind. I got to sit back and watch for a change after I had dressed in my favorite black imitation leather outfit. I made sure to seat myself between Trixie and Fancy Pants although I swear I could still feel Penny staring lustfully at me from behind.

The Spring Fashion Fest was quite a success. We wrapped it up with a light afternoon tea after which Fancy and Fleur had to depart. As for me, this was my afternoon with the Ponyville citizens. I spent a couple of hours just wandering around the town meeting and chatting with friends and acquaintances. While the Flower Sisters weren’t trading that afternoon, I did bump into Roseluck who gifted me her namesake.

“A beautiful flower for the most beautiful princess,” she said with a huge smile.

I couldn’t even argue with her calling me that anymore because I really was royalty now and in my pegacorn form. I accepted the flower and the compliment with as much grace as I could summon, only slightly marred by the snicker that I heard from my personal guardian.

I got back to the castle in time to freshen up before heading to the station for the journey back to Canterlot. I switched back to my normal stallion form, retiring Marklestia for the weekend before we bade farewell to our friends. Then Twilight, Trixie, and I departed with our retinues.

When we got back to Canterlot Castle, Trixie and I parted ways at the door of her suite.

“Be back in half an hour,” she said as she gave me a peck on the cheek.

“By your command, my Princess.”

I headed to my room where Steady Flight and I unpacked the latest additions to Marklestia’s wardrobe and carefully put them away. I hoped that the new suite that was being built for the two of us would be ready soon because I was rapidly running out of rack space. That was not a common problem for a stallion but my requirements were far from normal. After thirty minutes had passed, I dismissed Steady for the night and made my way back to Trixie’s room. The Royal Guards on duty nodded and one said, “Her Royal Highness wishes me to inform you that she’s ready. You may go right in.”

“Thank you, Sterling Shield. Aren’t you supposed to be off-duty now?”

He gave me a slight smile. “I am exactly where I need to be right now, sir.”

I was about to argue before I got a clue. “Very well. Carry on.” I then opened the door to the suite and firmly closed it behind me before heading to the bedroom.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called out as I entered Trixie’s boudoir, and then I froze.

My wife was waiting for me by the bed and she had dressed for the occasion. Her body was facing away from me but she had her head turned to look back with a smoldering gaze. Her muzzle was covered by a sheer veil that did nothing to conceal the coy smile underneath. She wore lavender stockings with gold slippers and a fancier version of her normal cape. Then her bejeweled horn lit up to pull the cape aside to reveal the lacy lingerie and other adornments highlighting her buxom booty. She swished her tail enticingly and I gulped, my mouth suddenly dry.

“Who wears this best, Dowser? Trixie or Marklestia?” she asked in a sultry tone.

I swallowed and croaked, “No contest, Lulu.”

She turned and sauntered over to me, rubbing up against my right side and then turning to nuzzle me as she came back down my left, neatly dodging my wings as they sprang out rigidly of their own accord. “Right answer, husband. Care to take a closer look, stud?” she said as she sashayed over to the bed.

‘Thank you, Rarity,’ I thought as I sprang to do my wife’s bidding. It was times like these that I was very happy to be a stallion and I was about to get a whole lot happier.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Longinius.

Chapter 54 - A Change For The Worse

The builders had promised that the new large suite for Trixie and me would be ready for us soon although their definition of soon probably didn’t match mine. Anyway, I still occasionally woke up in my old quarters depending on what happened the previous evening. Being a prince had its perks but it also had its downsides and getting out of synch with my wife happened occasionally. I looked forward to that not being an issue in the near future. Until then though, I still had to occasionally greet Trixie for the first time in the morning at the breakfast table.

I am the first to admit that I liked to sleep in, so it was no great surprise to find my wife had been up for half an hour or more before me. That held true for others too, and I could hear Starlight Glimmer sharing a laugh with Trixie well before I entered the room. From early on, it had become apparent that the two mares got along very well and I had to say that I was happy for Trixie. It wasn’t easy to be the “Great and Powerful” ruler of Equestria and still be able to have a casual relationship with another mare. The majority of the nobility made that very difficult due to their rigid social structure. An outsider like Starlight was an entirely different proposition, however, and because she didn’t work directly for Trixie, she could afford to be a friend instead. I’d like to say my Advisor could be my friend too, but today I was going to have to be her boss.

“Good morning, ladies,” I said as I entered the room.

“Good morning, lazybones,” Trixie replied, angling her head for the expected kiss which I happily gave her.

“Morning, Mark,” Starlight said. I had insisted on her calling me by name when not in a public situation such as Day Court. Despite my elevation in status, I never wanted to lose sight of the fact that I was just a commoner who got lucky. Being addressed familiarly was just one way of keeping a sense of proportion. Besides, I still felt uncomfortable being called “Your Highness”. It had its drawbacks though.

As I seated myself at the table, the maid immediately poured my coffee and then left to fetch my food. I took a sip of the delicious brew and sighed. “Starlight, I want to talk to you in my office immediately after breakfast.”

We were scheduled for the afternoon session of Day Court today and normally we would go over the day’s tasks about half an hour before lunch. This unusual early meeting immediately made Starlight nervous.

“Umm, yes, sir.”

Trixie gave me a glance with an upraised eyebrow, wordlessly questioning me. I gave her a slight shake of the head. This was a private matter between me and my personal assistant.

Starlight completed her meal in silence while my wife and I made light conversation. When Twilight Sparkle arrived to have a coffee before starting her morning shift at Day Court, I excused myself and left the two mares to chat while indicating to Starlight to follow me. We walked to my office with Penumbra quietly shadowing, alert to the mood. The bat-pony stationed herself outside my office door as we entered. I seated myself at my desk as Starlight closed the door.

“This isn’t a briefing session, is it?” the mare asked as she settled down in front of my desk.

“No, it isn’t. I’ve been talking to Princess Twilight, discussing your progress with your friendship lessons with her.”

“Oh.” By the way her ears immediately wilted, I knew she realized what was coming up.

“I have to wonder if you’re relapsing, Starlight. Using your magic to mind-control the Element Bearers even in the pursuit of accomplishing a task that Twilight set for you is by no means an acceptable thing. That you even considered it as an option is too much of a callback to your days at Our Town.”

Starlight’s eyes were downcast as she replied, “I know. It was a bad mistake and I apologized to all of them.”

“An apology is good and I believe that you meant it, but you still need to try harder, Starlight. Need I remind you that you’re still on probation until Twilight declares that you have learned the true meaning of friendship? Your punishment was suspended contingent on that outcome.”

“I realize that, sir, and believe me, I’m trying.”

“That wasn’t the only incident though, was it? It was only the most egregious. You’re one of the most talented magic-users in Equestria, but magic is not the answer to everything. Stop and think for a moment and ask yourself if there’s a better solution that doesn’t involve casting a spell. I honestly don’t want you getting yourself into a situation that you can’t get out of with just a heartfelt apology. I like the work that you do for me and you have the potential to do great good for our nation. I need your help to accomplish this, so please don’t disappoint me like this again.”

“I won’t let you down, sir.”

“I have confidence in you, Starlight. I consider this incident closed now. Let’s get back to work.”

Mating Season came and went much as expected. I confined myself to Trixie’s suite for the first couple of days, thus allowing the segregation of the castle staff to proceed without problems. Penumbra and other female Royal Guards were stationed outside the room. Despite the fact that it was only the buffer days before the heat really set in, I was semi-optimistic about remaining a stallion. Then I woke up as Marklestia on the third day. I briefly tried to turn back but failed, as expected. I poked my nose out the door and spotted my bodyguard already on duty.

“Penny – alert the Royal Skychariot team to be ready for Trixie and me. We’ll be heading for Ponyville immediately after breakfast.”

“Yes, Your Svelte Worshipfulness,” she replied with cheeky formality.

Twilight welcomed us to her castle, and Rarity was delighted to see me. As I had promised, I spent much intimate time with her. However, Trixie got to share my time this year, and to my surprise, sometimes it was a threesome. Despite being reminded that mares shared their stallions (even gender-swapped ones like me), I still had a lingering of my human sensibilities when it came to things like that. To be honest, I was totally nervous the first time that Rarity suggested it. Trixie acted as if there was nothing unusual about the idea though, and it turned out to be a delightful experience. Fortunately, Rainbow Dash was preoccupied with Applejack this year and I didn’t need to push my luck.

Unsurprisingly, like the previous year, Twilight spent the Season with Thorax who suspended his visit to the Red Hive for the occasion. Having a lover who couldn’t get you pregnant was a heck of an advantage to a mare in heat. Now that their relationship had progressed, it was even better for them this year.

While I enjoyed my time with Rarity and Trixie as a mare, I was still relieved to be able to return to my stallion self once more, even if it meant refraining from sex with the white unicorn who was still feeling the lingering effects of being on heat. I simply couldn’t risk an accidental impregnation. Sure, I could have swapped back to being a mare temporarily, but after being stuck as one for over a week, I wasn’t in a hurry to be one again for a while despite the pleasant aspects. Marklestia was a permanent and enjoyable side of me, but she wasn’t my primary identity. It amused me to realize though that said identity was a pony stallion and not the human that I used to be.

As time passed, I found it harder and harder to even remember what it was like to be one. Not that I cared terribly much. My life here in Equestria was wonderful and better than I had ever dreamed of. It had come at the sacrifice of a long friendship with Phil Martine and a career that had no relevance here in Equestria, but I had found so much more in this world of magic. I was a pony now with a pony wife, and I was extremely happy with that. I could deal with the annual inconvenience of the Mating Season.

I heaved a sigh of relief as Canterlot hove into sight. I had been anxiously watching out the window because that was better than looking at the smirking face of Penumbra. She was a constant reminder that Trixie wasn’t going to be happy with me arriving home half a day late. Of course, if my personal guard had chosen to do so, she could have pointed out to me that the O&O session was running late and I would miss the last train back to the capital. However, as she was very fond of reminding me, she was there to protect my life, not the relationship with my wife. And I had to bear the responsibility of getting wrapped up in the game. As Prince of Equestria and co-ruler of the nation, I had to not let these things interfere with my duties, not to mention keeping Trixie happy. At least she tolerated letting me go off on my own to Ponyville a couple of times a month, and that’s more than I can say for some married couples.

I had briefly considered asking Discord a favor and zap me home, but considering that he probably would be more amused at the thought of the havoc Trixie would raise by my no-show, I thought my chances were slim to none. Besides, he might be a friend, but he was still the Lord of Chaos. One did not lightly become beholden to him – or give him the opportunity to “even the scales” in whatever manner he chose for doing something helpful. Wearing a tremendous moustache for an evening of drinking had taught me that. So, I ended up staying overnight in Twilight’s castle. I got Spike to send a message to Trixie by dragonfire, of course, letting her know that I would be on the first train from Ponyville in the morning. I wasn’t stupid enough to leave her wondering.

As we stepped out of the train, I was surprised to see a Royal Guard waiting there. As soon as the pegasus stallion spotted me, he hastened over and I recognized him as Lieutenant Cold Strike, the head of Trixie’s guard detail. I had to wonder if some sort of trouble had arisen during my absence as I wasn’t normally met at the station despite my elevation in rank. I had deemed Penny to be sufficient – I didn’t want to lose touch with the common pony. I didn’t even wear my crown on my trips to Ponyville, although Trixie wanted me to pack it in my bag “in case of royal emergencies”, whatever they were supposed to be. I certainly didn’t need to convince any citizen of Ponyville that I was a prince… or princess, depending on the circumstances.

“Sergeant Penumbra, you are relieved,” Cold Strike said to my bodyguard.

Penny narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

The lieutenant then addressed me. “Sir, Her Highness, Princess Trixie, has sent me to escort you to your new suite.”

I raised an eyebrow even as I headed off the platform. “Belay that order, Penumbra. Does my wife think I’ve suddenly forgotten where our new rooms are, Cold Strike?” The much larger Royal Suite had finally been completed just before the weekend. However, the process of moving our possessions from our respective rooms had barely started, although I imagine that Trixie had taken advantage of my absence to get a head-start on that. Crap! That meant I had the side of the bed furthest away from the bathroom and she already had filled the top shelves of the dressers. Oh, well. Considering how much fussier she was likely to be than me, I think it was for the best that I wasn’t around to get under her hooves. Steady Flight and I had already planned our move and he would relocate my things when Trixie was busy with Court and other duties.

The Guard looked uncertain for a moment. “I don’t think that’s the problem, Your Highness. Princess Trixie was just insistent that I bring you there.”

Why my wife wanted me to be brought to the new apartment was a mystery to me. However, I was in no hurry to face Trixie’s wrath, and besides, I had to get myself ready for the morning session of Day Court and my crown was still languishing on the dresser in my old suite. I needed to freshen up a bit too. “Tell Her Highness that I’ll meet up with her on the way to the Throne Room. I need to get ready first and I don’t have enough time to spare for a detour.”

The pegasus gave me a worried glance. “Her Highness was most adamant that I bring you.”

I chuckled as I approached the royal carriage that was waiting for me. “Let me deal with my wife. I don’t think she’ll do anything particularly fatal if I delay seeing her for a few minutes.”

For a moment, it looked as if the Guard was going to keep insisting, but after an uncertain glance at Penumbra, he said, “As you command, Your Highness.” He then took to the air and headed for the castle.

“I hope you’re not going to nag me to go to see Princess Trixie immediately too,” I said to Corporal Trotter, the earth pony who was the lead stallion in the carriage team.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Your Highness,” he replied.

That was odd. Trotter should have been aware of what was so high priority. I looked in the direction that the pegasus had gone but he was out of sight already. As Penumbra settled in beside me in the carriage, I pondered the significance of that anomaly. I’d have to ask Trixie when I met up with her.

When I finally got to my old suite, I noticed that there was no Guard posted at my doorway. I groaned a little and hoped that didn’t mean that Trixie had already had my stuff transferred to the new apartment. Once inside though, I saw that Steady Flight was there and he had my vest laid out on the bed and my crown laid beside it.

“Cutting it a bit fine, aren’t you?” my valet and best friend asked.

“Yeah, and I’ll pay for that later. I just need a quick grooming first. I didn’t have time to do much before hurrying to catch the train back to Canterlot. I even ate breakfast in the dining car.” I grinned as we headed into the bathroom where Steady picked up a curry brush. It actually gave me a touch of nostalgia to be shoulder to shoulder (or should that be withers to withers?) with a lot of other ponies all trying to get something to eat before going to work. I felt like one of them, nothing special. I suppose that it would have been a lot different with a group of ponies from another town, but these were Ponyvillians and my friends. I got a few laughs and a lot of sympathy when I explained why I was joining them on their commute to work that morning.

I brushed my unruly mane into a “marginally good enough for Day Court” level of neatness, cleaned my teeth, and put on a bit of cologne. With my coat looking shiny due to Steady’s efforts, I was ready to get dressed. My golden vest was little different from the one that I wore as Grand Vizier. Aside from a little bit more fancy trim, the only real difference was the tri-pointed crown badge on my left breast, symbolizing the triarchy. Simple and tasteful – just how I liked it. Then I put on the gold circlet that indicated my status as Prince of Equestria. It was the minimum that I had been allowed to get away with. Trixie might like a fancy crown but the only one that I had ever worn besides this had been the Element of Magic tiara, and I had felt silly wearing it. Mine was a loop of gold alloy that had been shaped to fit comfortably on my head, with a blue multi-faceted sapphire embedded in it which sat on my forehead between my eyes. I looked in the mirror and checked myself out. Not bad – I might even get used to it one of these days.

“Okay, I’m ready. No sense in putting off meeting with my Great and Irritable Wife any longer. Don’t be in too much of a hurry to move everything to the new suite. Depending on Trixie’s mood, I might be sleeping here tonight. She’s been a bit grumpier in the mornings lately, and my late return won’t have improved that situation.”

Steady laughed. “I guess not. I was planning on leaving the essentials here anyway, just in case of emergencies.”

“Smart stallion! Catch you later.”

I rejoined Penny outside where she had stationed herself and we headed off in the direction of the new suite. As I neared it, the door opened and an unfamiliar Royal Guard exited and joined the other Guard standing by the entrance to the apartment. Because Trixie hated having them in her private quarters, this was very unusual and I wondered if it had anything to do with why she had wanted me to come here so insistently. I supposed I’d soon find out. I saw the two Guards giving a worried look at Penumbra whom I noticed had taken an at-the-ready stance with one forehoof on her sword. Something was setting off her instincts and the Guards seemed to realize it.

“Good morning, Sergeant Thunderbolt,” I said to my wife’s personal bodyguard, a rather uptight unicorn who did his job well enough but fitted in with us like a square peg in a round hole and didn’t seem to know what the word ‘informal’ meant. “Could you inform Princess Trixie that Prince Mark is here and ready to escort her to Day Court.”

The stallion gave Penny another glance before nodding and rapping on the door. Shortly, another Royal Guard opened it and Thunderbolt passed on the message before the door closed again. Half a minute passed before Trixie emerged and walked toward me. I was going to give her a kiss but she bustled right past.

“It’s about time,” she said coldly. “We can’t let our plans be upset by being late to the Day Court.”

I hastened to join her strident march down the hall. Sheesh! She must be really pissed off with me. Wait a minute. “Our plans?” There were no meetings with ministers or foreign dignitaries scheduled for today, so Day Court should be fairly routine and short. I had self-defense training this afternoon (polearms) and Trixie had a spa appointment after lunch. Did the two of us have something scheduled that I didn’t know about? I guess I would find out later. I briefly wondered why Thunderbolt didn’t accompany us but I supposed the unknown Guard who followed along would provide standard security instead.

“Anything unusual that I should be aware of?” I asked. If anything significant happened while I was away on one of my visits to Ponyville, I was normally briefed about it before Day Court, but my late arrival had forestalled that.

“No, Mark Wells – you and I will hold Court as planned and defer anything critical until later.”

We will? Since when did we do that? Trixie and I made it a habit to be proactive about problems. The dynamic that we had discovered while I was her Grand Vizier still carried into our new relationship. It was an important part of our success at this nation-ruling gig. And my wife actually said “I” in public? And she called me by my correct name? Then something really odd hit me. As long as I had known her, Trixie had always worn a cape, but she had different ones for various occasions. Naturally, she had a very fancy one for use during Court, but right now she was wearing what she deemed to be ‘Princess Casual’. It was only used for informal occasions and she would never wear it in front of the overly fashion-conscious nobility. Alarm bells started to go off in my head. Too many inconsistencies!

I gave Trixie a hard look and then said, “Princess – some of your feathers are askew. We can’t let those at Court see you like that. Let me straighten them out for you.”

Trixie nodded. “Very well. Make it quick.” She stopped and spread the wing nearest to me, pushing aside the cape that half-concealed it.

I moved in close to take care of the problem. Despite having seen her prosthetic wings in action many times before, I still found it hard to detect the harness that secured them to her barrel because of the notice-me-not spell on it. However, one thing they could not do was replicate the natural muscle-flex of the joint to the body. These ones did. They were real wings! I swallowed as my throat went dry and pretended to adjust a few feathers. “That’s fixed. Let me do the other wing now.”

The mare folded her wing and extended the far wing instead. As I started to walk around Trixie, I looked in Penny’s direction and said, “It’s time to make a definite change for the better.”

Penumbra’s eyes widened slightly and she gave the barest of nods.

As I passed in front of Trixie, I turned to face away from her and then lashed out with a powerful buck to her head. The unicorn collapsed like a sack of potatoes and a dribble of blood started leaking from her mouth. I barely noticed the sound of a scuffle happening beside me and, for a long moment, nothing else happened. Trixie just kept bleeding on the floor.

“Oh shit! Oh shit! I was wrong! She must have upgraded her prosthetics! I’m so dead!”

Then a green glow caught my eye and I looked up to see one of her hind hooves was burning with green fire. The magic rapidly spread up her body, leaving behind a crystal changeling in its natural form, still unconscious.

“Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I was right!” While I was immensely relieved that I hadn’t severely assaulted my wife, this meant that she, and presumably many others, had been replaced. That must have been why they had wanted me to go to the new suite in a big hurry. That Guard who met me at the station must have been a changeling slated to take my place, but I had upset their plans, and time had run out before we had to start Day Court as normal so as not to cause unwanted questions.

I looked around to see that Penny had taken care of the fake Royal Guard after being clued in by the code phrase that we had arranged long ago. She was panting a little after the soldier had put up a fight. The armor the changeling wore was real and presumably taken from the pony that had been replaced. Unfortunately for the changeling, Penny was exceptionally well-trained to deal with even armored foes. Ever since Sterling Shield had shown the inadequacy of our changeling identification methods, we had been working on a multi-pronged plan for both detecting and reacting to an incursion by Chrysalis. That dread day had come and we had still been found wanting. Only my intimate familiarity with Trixie’s foibles had let me see through the disguise.

“What now?” Penumbra asked, all levity now evaporated.

“If Trixie has been replaced and they tried to do the same for me, then it’s a safe bet that many others have similarly been taken. I’m guessing that the changelings haven’t cemented their hold on Canterlot as yet if this fake was going to keep up appearances, so we need to start alerting and consolidating our forces. You’re familiar with our contingency plans, so I want you to go and make contact with everyone. Arrange a Code 17 for noon in Ponyville and Canterlot. Hopefully, we’ll be able to get the Harmony Bearers together along with whatever loyal forces we can gather. When all her puppets are in place, Chrysalis is sure to make her move and secure her power.”

“And what do you plan to do?”

I turned and started heading back to the new suite. “Trixie might be being held captive, so I’m going to rescue her.”

Penumbra was in front of me in a flash, her wings flared to halt my progress. “Are you insane, Your Highness? You don’t even know how many changelings there are in that room!”

I glared at her. “I’m not abandoning my wife. Besides, you know I have an ace up my sleeve,” I added with a grim smirk.

“Better make it a full house. I’m coming with you.”

I was about to tell Penny that the task that I had given her was more important, but I realized that saving my ass was literally her highest priority and I’d lose the argument. “Okay, but let’s play this smart. I think I have an idea…”

I tore around the corner and pelted full speed back to the Imperial Suite, wildly waving Trixie’s tiara which I was holding in one wing. I saw the two guards at the door brace at my unexpected appearance as I skidded to a halt in front of them.

“You idiots! You let the Great and Powerful Trixie leave her room for Day Court without her most impressive crown! This is just her casual one!” I tossed it to Sergeant Thunderbolt who managed to catch it. “Go get her platinum crown now!”

At his hesitation, I continued. “Do you really want to tell the Peeved and Impatient Trixie that you are the reason she couldn't start Day Court on time?” The two guards looked at each other. From that, I realized that whomever the changeling was that was impersonating Trixie, these two did not want to cross her. Maybe she was even the one in charge of the operation.

“Wait here,” said the Sergeant.

As soon as he opened the door and stepped through, I surged forward, yelling, “Oh! And the cape too!”

The other guard attempted to stop me but I was ready for that and leaped up into the air with a powerful flap of my wings to slip past over him. Inside, I spotted at least five occupants besides the guard that I followed. I also caught a glimpse of a familiar pod hanging from the ceiling. As all eyes turned toward me, I closed mine, tapped the sapphire on my crown, and gave a mental command. The enchanted gemstone released the full power of the spell that had been bound into it, resulting in an enormous flash of light that nevertheless left spots before my eyes despite my shut eyelids. That wasn’t its major effect though. Every being in range of that flash was instantly stunned. Only I, as the crown’s wearer, was insulated from its effects. There were thuds as bodies hit the floor and another as Penny dealt with the remaining guard outside who had been distracted by me long enough not to notice the bat-pony silently gliding in to attack. She was inside the room moments later, dragging the limp form of the door guard with her. As far as I could tell – yes, he was still breathing.

Looking around, ready to defend me if necessary, Penumbra relaxed a bit when she determined that every changeling was disabled for the moment. While most had been in pony form when I had entered, the spell that had floored them was designed specifically to neutralize the disguised forms of changelings. Whereas the fake Trixie had only resumed her natural form after a long pause, these ones had reverted immediately. I belatedly remembered that changelings could hold their shapeshift even when unconscious, sleeping, or even dead; but because I had injured her badly, my wife's doppelganger had gone into a coma-like state and its disguise had failed. Otherwise, I might still be paralyzed with fear for having attacked her. I silently offered a prayer of thanks to Twilight Sparkle who had come up with the idea to use my crown as a secret weapon of last resort. Sadly, it was a one-shot item and would be useless until it was re-enchanted.

“Looks like you got them all,” Penny remarked.

“Check the bathroom, but I think you’re right.”

As the bat-pony made sure that there wasn’t another changeling lurking out of sight, I rushed over to the pod. Through its translucent green shell, I could see Trixie suspended upside down within it. I switched to pegacorn form and used a beam of magic to carefully cut the pod open. As the sticky fluid gushed onto the floor, I levitated Trixie out and floated her over to the bed. Ignoring how gross it was, I began wiping off the gunk that clung to her with the expensive sheets.

“Trixie! Are you okay?” I got no response though.

“All clear,” announced Penny. “How’s the Princess?”

“Still unconscious. I know that the pod’s fluids have a sedative effect though, so she’ll probably wake up not too long after I get her cleaned up.”

“Probably best to shove her under the shower then. You do that while I fetch some nullstone manacles.”

“Good idea. And fetch Steady Flight too. Make sure that he’s safe.”

“Right. I’ll be back soon. Don’t open the door to anypony without the code phrase.”

“Believe me, I won’t!”

I levitated Trixie toward the bathroom as Penumbra slipped out the door, locking it as she went. Not even the shower woke up my wife, but she seemed perfectly fine otherwise. After stripping off the soiled sheets, I laid Trixie back on the bed and reverted to my normal stallion form. Just then, there was a rap on the door and I went over to it.

“Who’s there?” I asked loudly through the door.

“Penumbra and Steady Flight,” came my bodyguard’s voice.

“Password?”

“Celestia is a cake-oholic.”

I unlocked the door and the two ponies hastened in. My valet stopped just inside the doorway and blanched when he saw the changelings spread all over the floor. I shoved him out of the way so I could close and lock the doors again. That broke him out of his stupor and he trotted forwards into the suite. I moved past him to the bedroom and checked on Trixie. Moments later, I heard him come up beside me.

“Is she okay?”

I nodded. “I think so. As soon as the sedative effects of the pod’s gel wear off, she should be fine.”

“What are we going to do now?”

“For starters, you’re getting your old job back.”

The pegasus gave me a surprised look. “I am?”

“Yep. I know you’ve kept up your exercise routine and you’re still one of the fastest long-distance fliers in service to the Crown. I need you to go to the Crystal Empire and warn Princess Cadance and Prince Armor of what is happening here. Use the code phrases or better yet, do a recollection check on the ponies you actually know. If you suspect that they’ve already been replaced, I want you to find somepony you can trust in the Empire Guard to pass on a message. Tell them ‘Code 17 at noon tomorrow’.”

“What’s a Code 17?”

“It’s a contingency plan for all military personnel. You don’t need to know the details. Every legitimate soldier should know what it is though. After thoroughly checking that each individual was either a genuine pony, griffon, or even one of our trusted Red Changeling allies, they were comprehensively briefed on what to do if a Code 17 or other contingency plan was called. They were also told not to discuss these plans with anypony whatsoever on penalty of court-martial. Hopefully, all our efforts have not been in vain and we can put that plan into action without interference.”

Steady nodded thoughtfully. “And because I have no knowledge of what that plan is, I can’t blab if I’m caught. Can’t you use the new communications system though?”

Penumbra replied, “That would have been one of the first targets for the changelings. It’s almost certainly compromised by now.”

“Makes sense. Okay, I’ll leave immediately. Anything else?”

“Nope. Just… good luck and may Harmony guide your flight.” I wasn’t big on mysticism, but it seemed like the right time to call upon it.

Steady headed straight to the balcony door, stripping off his formal attire as he went. He wanted nothing to interfere with his flying. The moment he was outside, he took off in a northerly direction and was quickly out of sight.

Meanwhile, Penny had finished securing all the changelings. The manacles had been tested on volunteers to ensure that they would prevent them from using their shape-changing ability to set themselves free. That would only buy ourselves some time though because, sooner or later, some ’ling would come here and discover things weren’t right.

“We need to get out of here and get more allies,” I said.

“I agree. How and who?”

“How is also answered by who. We need Starlight Glimmer. If she hasn’t been replaced, she should be in the throne room, wondering why Trixie and I haven’t turned up yet. Find her and get her to come here—”

There was a “Bamf!” and a flash of light and the unicorn in question was standing next to us, peering around with a frown on her face.

“What’s going on? Somepony just tried to tell me that Princess Trixie was sick and you were looking after her and wanted to see me.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “So, rather than accompany that pony, you decided to just barge right in here without asking.”

Starlight had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“No need this time. I hadn’t asked to see you but I was just about to send Penumbra to fetch you. In fact, because you teleported in and Queen Carpacia confirmed that changelings can’t do that, you’ve automatically verified that you’re the real Starlight Glimmer. And that’s vital because we have a major changeling situation.” I pointed to the room behind her.

She turned around and saw all the unconscious manacled changelings. “Oh.”

Penumbra headed to the door, “There are two more just up the hallway. Excuse me while I go grab them.”

I said, “Trixie had already been replaced but I detected the fake. They tried to nab me too, and you were probably the target of that messenger. I have no idea how deep this goes, but right now we have to get to a place of safety but also instigate a Code 17." I went into Trixie's walk-in closet and rummaged around in the back of it.

“Ah! You want me to teleport us all out of the castle.”

I pulled out two sets of contingency saddlebags and came back to the group. “Yep. But first, we have one stop to make.”

“Where to?”

“The Royal Guard training yard.”

We teleported into the training yard where I knew a certain earth pony could always be found at this time of the day. Crimson Boulder’s self-defense classes were held every morning and he began with a long warm-up regimen before anypony arrived. It was at this time he had the yard to himself and when we sometimes had private training sessions, so it was no surprise that he was currently alone.

Despite our abrupt unexpected appearance, Crimson was instantly on the alert and eyeing us warily. The sight of the unconscious Trixie being held in Starlight’s magic caused him to frown deeply.

“What’s going on?” he asked suspiciously.

I barked out, “What place did I get in the Midnight Bowling tournament?”

Boulder took a step towards me, “Sir, I...”

I cut him off by changing to my short-maned Marklestia form, charging up my most powerful fire-bolt spell and aiming my horn at his chest. If this was the real Crimson Boulder, he would survive my attack, although with a lengthy stay in the hospital.

The earth pony stopped and said, “Third place. You got a fruit basket.”

I was 90% sure now. “And what happened to that basket?”

He blinked but otherwise didn't move. “The apples were eaten by an unexpected guest at midnight.”

I powered down my horn and switched back to my pegasus form. “Code 17. Noon tomorrow. Start by telling soldiers at the bottom of the ranks. You are in charge until you find an uncompromised officer to take command.”

He nodded. “What will you be doing?”

I smiled. “Going after the source of the problem.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Chrysalis has finally made her move!

Art by Foxenawolf.

There's another illustration for earlier in the chapter, but it's NSFW and so I'm not allowed to link directly to it. But if anybody wants to see Sinfoe's extremely gorgeous art, I might be persuaded to show it to those who contribute to my art fund via Paypal or Ko-fi. 😈

Chapter 55 - Hidden Ally

While I had confidently stated my goal of dealing with our problem, I had yet to figure a way of going about it. Right now, I wasn’t even sure who I could trust beyond those already with me. My first impulse was to get hold of Twilight Sparkle but on reflection, I had no way of knowing if she had been caught up in a similar operation in Ponyville. I suspected that Trixie and others were substituted in the course of the morning change of shift among the Royal Guards and the same ploy could have been used in the Crystal Empire and Ponyville. However, I had left before then on the red-eye to Canterlot, thus avoiding being captured in the operation that I assumed happened there. The fact that we weren’t kidnapped and substituted earlier supported my conclusion of a dawn operation.

But this was still hypothetical. If Twilight was still free, we needed her plus the Harmony Bearers and anypony else we could find to back us up. She was due in by train later this morning. Despite Trixie’s urging, she almost never used a royal pegasus carriage to commute, preferring instead to chat with the citizens of Equestria on the way to Canterlot. She also loved trains for some reason. Not that I was one to point fingers… er… hooves. I never took the carriage either, but that was because I still felt embarrassed being treated like royalty even though I actually was a prince now. I still didn’t feel like it! If I’d had the carriage though, I would have been back at Canterlot last night and probably in a pod next to Trixie right now.

Anyway, the station was where I got Starlight to take me and Penny next after killing some time in the training yard. I had her put us in the waiting room which would afford us some protection from discovery by changelings. We startled a few ponies waiting there, but we were also surprised by seeing someone else already waiting for Twilight.

“Thorax! What are you doing here?” I blurted out.

He blinked with confusion. “I always wait for Twilight on Mondays when I get back from training at the Red Hive. We spend the morning together before she does the afternoon shift of Day Court.”

I face-hoofed. Of course they did. How could I forget that? Although I hadn’t realized that he met her at the station, but that was usually none of my business. But now, was this the same Thorax? “Starlight – a privacy spell, please.”

The unicorn nodded and her horn briefly glowed.

Satisfied that we weren’t going to be overheard, I casually asked Thorax, “Did you bring some quesadillas for her to snack on?”

The changeling prince gave me a hard look. “Twilight hates those and you know it. What’s going on, Mark Wells?”

“Code 17,” I replied.

His eyes opened wide. “Oh, no!”

“Yes. They already replaced Trixie but I spotted the fake. We took out a number of the infiltrators but we have no idea how deep it goes. We need Twilight but we don’t know if she’s been replaced too. So, if she turns up as expected, we’ll need to verify her identity and deal with her if she’s not the genuine article.”

Thorax’s expression hardened. “If they’ve done anything to harm her…”

“They had Trixie safely stored in a pod, so I’m guessing they’d do the same for Twilight. Keep calm and think clearly, Thorax. We don’t know how deeply it goes yet, and hopefully, the word that we have captured several of the changelings won’t get out too soon. I’ve gotten the Code 17 alert out to Canterlot and the Crystal Empire will follow soon. We need to go to Ponyville to do the same.”

He nodded. “I understand. I hope Chrysalis hasn’t gotten to her though.”

“Me too, pal. Me too.”

It was a nervous wait for us but at least the train arrived on schedule. As long as a possible fake had kept to Twilight’s routine, we would either be meeting an alicorn or a changeling any minute now. At least I didn’t have to rely on sneaky code phrases to determine which. I looked at the stern changeling next to me and smiled inwardly. While the infiltrators could emulate emotions to fool other changelings, there could be no faking the love the two had for each other.

I spotted the purple alicorn alighting from the train. Showtime! Starlight used a notice-me-not spell on herself and me but stood out of the way of traffic. The spell might save us from being spotted, but not from ponies running into us because they hadn’t seen us standing there! It did allow us to be within earshot of Thorax as he intercepted Twilight as she walked down the platform.

The alicorn looked a little surprised. “Ambassador Thorax – what an unexpected pleasure to meet you.”

Ooh. While Twilight and Thorax’s true relationship was not public knowledge and that was his title, the part about being unexpected didn’t sit well with me.

Thorax replied, “I came to meet you here, Your Highness, because I will be unable to make our appointment later. An important matter has come up and duty calls. I just wish to apologize for standing you up.”

Well, that settled it. Thorax was ditching her, so this Twilight was a fake. Our job just got harder.

The changeling duplicate gave Thorax a condescending smile. “No matter – we can reschedule. Have a good day, Ambassador.”

“May Harmony go with you, Princess Sparkle.”

Thorax retreated to the now empty waiting room and we joined him. As soon as Starlight dropped the concealing spell, I put a reassuring wing around the glum changeling. He had visibly wilted once there were no witnesses.

“Be strong, my friend. We’ll get her back.”

Thorax slowly nodded. “It’s just… seeing her there but without even a wisp of love… it tore my heart.”

“I know exactly how you feel. We’ll find the real Twilight and make Chrysalis pay. However, we have to get a bit more help first.”

“What did you have in mind, Mark?”

“Gathering the Harmony Bearers is at the top of my list.”

“But Twilight has been captured. You need all six Elements to use Harmony,” Thorax pointed out.

“Remind me to tell you later how I once stood in for Twilight. Anyway, we need to get to Ponyville and track down the others.”

Starlight said, “This train is due to leave for the return trip in about ten minutes if we want to be on it.”

“How did you know that? Did you use the train a lot?” I asked curiously.

“Train schedule,” she replied drolly while pointing to the wall right next to me.

I turned to look and saw a large poster with the destinations and departure times conspicuously printed upon it. “Oh. Right. Better book a First Class compartment so that we can travel without being seen. Thorax, could you do that for us?”

The changeling merely lit up with magic fire and assumed the form of a blue crystal pony with an urn cutie mark. He gave me a wink. “Crystal Hoof at your service!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Crystal Hoof?”

The changeling pony shrugged. “I needed an incognito identity for times when I didn’t want to cause a stir.”

“Fair enough. You secure us a compartment and Starlight and I will go fetch the rest of the team.”

“Will do.” He turned to head out of the waiting room.

Starlight then promptly teleported us back to the training yard. Much to my relief, Trixie had finally regained consciousness, although she still seemed a little unsteady on her hooves. She gave me a suspicious frown.

“Footmark Smells – is that really you this time?”

“I gather a fake me came by the suite this morning?”

“Indeed. The Great and Righteous Trixie had just started to give you a well-deserved tongue-lashing when the craven beast transformed and attacked her.”

“Consider this my apology for arriving late.” I swept her into my forehooves and gave her a huge kiss.

“Mmmm. Trixie is convinced that you’re her real husband. Under the circumstances, she will dispense with the lecture… this time.”

“Thanks, Lulu. But right now we have to all get back to the train station. We bumped into Thorax there and he positively identified Twilight as a doppelgänger, so she’s been captured. We’ll try to get the rest of the Element Bearers before they get replaced also. Thorax is booking a First Class compartment so that we can travel in privacy.”

“What if they have been captured too?” Penny asked.

“We’ll strategize on the way to Ponyville,” I replied. “Starlight – if you please?”

My advisor teleported us all back to the empty waiting room. "Crystal Hoof" was waiting there for us with tickets in his grasp.

“Better hurry up, guys – the train’s going to leave any minute.”

“Which compartment?” Starlight asked.

“Three.”

“Hang on – this’ll be tight!” the unicorn said.

A moment later, Starlight, Penumbra, Trixie, Thorax, and I were all crammed into the designated compartment. We immediately started sorting ourselves out and finding places to sit to make room. At least we didn’t have to find room for luggage!

“Who’s this?” Trixie asked, casting a suspicious glance at Crystal Hoof.

Thorax immediately resumed his normal form. “Hi, Princess Trixie. I’m glad to see you’re okay.”

“Ah, Thorax. Trixie is a little upset with your former Queen right now.”

He grimaced. “Believe me, Your Highness – so am I.”

We had an uneventful trip to Ponyville. Only the appearance of the conductor coming to check our tickets caused a minor stir. The bearded pony asked why ‘Crystal Hoof’ had five tickets when there was only one pony in the cabin. Thorax smiled and said his fellow passengers were no-shows. As long the rest of us stayed silent, the notice-me-not spell kept us hidden. The train pony gave back four unpunched tickets and recommended Thorax get more reliable friends.

We left the train the same way as we had boarded, courtesy of Starlight. I had her take us in the opposite direction of the town center. If we were going to hunt for the Bearers without being observed, I figured we might as well head for Sweet Apple Acres first and try to find Applejack.

We struck out at the farm though. Granny Smith complained about not being able to see us, after which Starlight apologized and dropped the notice-me-not spell. Granny squinted and said, “I still cain’t see y’all!”

After Starlight levitated Granny her glasses, she gave us a smile and informed us that Applejack was on an urgent errand. Whether that was true or a changeling cover-up, no one could tell. Fluttershy’s cottage wasn’t too far away, so we tried our luck there next.

Instead of the butter-yellow pegasus, we found her brother, Zephyr Breeze, in residence. He was complaining about being overwhelmed by the amount of work needed to care for the animals, but I noticed that Fluttershy's couch already had a half-dozen empty bags of take-out hay fries scattered around it. He informed us that Fluttershy had suggested to Discord that they go on a vacation to some exotic locale. Zephyr had been staying with her "just to get my hooves under my barrel again" and she up and left without even leaving any instructions. He couldn't count on the animals for help because he was pretty sure that "Anger Bunny" was not supposed to get a twenty-ingredient salad for every meal.

It was pretty obvious by then that Fluttershy not only had been substituted, but they had also taken one of the power players out of contention. Discord was either now enjoying the company of a fake pegasus in some far-off location or was Chrysalis’ captive.

“What now?” Penny asked as we left the cottage to Zephyr’s ministrations.

“Now we see what we can find at Friendship Castle. We need to check on Nyx, and Twilight had lots of equipment there that might come in handy.”

We had to assume that all of Twilight’s entire sparse contingent of Royal Guard detail had been replaced. That wasn’t a problem as I had Starlight teleport us into her room at the Castle of Friendship.

I asked Penumbra, “When do the guards start patrolling the inside of the castle?”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “You mean ‘when would the real guards do so?’ ”

I felt a bit chagrined. “Uh, yeah. Exactly.”

Penumbra didn’t take the opportunity to get in a free verbal jab. “Sundown. Everypony quiet please.” She sat with her ear pressed to the space between the door and the wall for a couple of minutes. Then she opened it slightly and waited another minute. Eventually, she turned to us. “I recommend we decide where we want to go now and not talk in the hallways.”

“Nyx’s room,” I decided. Penumbra nodded and took point.

Ever try sneaking around in a crystal hallway where everypony is wearing horseshoes? Only Penumbra and a hovering Thorax managed to be anything close to silent. That soon became just Penumbra as she turned to the changeling, pointed to his wings, then to her ear while shaking her head. He got the message and walked the rest of the way.

Entering the little alicorn’s room, I saw she had decorated the walls with posters of all six Element Bearers. Toys, books, and a few plates were scattered about, but most importantly, the room was empty. Thorax walked over to the far side of the bed and sniffed the floor where one stain looked a bit fresher than the others.

“She was taken and put in a stasis pod.”

Trixie groaned, which pretty much summed up everyone’s mood.

I turned to the changeling. “Thorax, can you tell us where the Crystal Hive is located?”

He shuffled his hooves and hung his head. “I… I don’t think so. The Canterlot Invasion was my first time out of the hive. I didn’t know about landmarks, whether I was going north or south, how fast we were flying, or anything, really. I had never even seen a tree before, though we flew over a forest soon after leaving the hive. I just know that the hive is hidden somehow from ponies being able to see it.”

Starlight said, “Do you think you could recognize where you came from if we zoomed in on the Map Table?”

“It can do that? … Maybe.”

I said, “Then that’s our next destination.”

Penny took the lead again, followed by Trixie and me walking side by side and Thorax and Starlight directly behind us. We had made it halfway down the corridor when I heard a thump from behind me. I turned around to see a door had opened into Starlight’s path. Apparently, the sound I heard was Starlight meeting it with her face. The door was surrounded by a light yellow aura which also held a large and ancient-looking book in the air. The aura matched the color of Moon Dancer’s horn as she strode out of the room, a contented smile on her face. As she wasn’t currently on duty, instead of wearing her standard court attire of a white blouse and tailored gray jacket, she was dressed in her favorite casual turtleneck jumper. Her mane was pinched up with a rubber band over the top of her head and she didn’t have her glasses on, explaining why her nose was maybe an inch away from the tome.

The rest of us stopped in place and turned to face her. Before I could say anything, she bumped shoulders with Thorax and they both gasped loudly and recoiled. The book fell to the floor and they stared at each other, a look of shock on Thorax’s face and pure horror on Moon Dancer’s.

The mare said, “No! Please, no!” Then with a flash of light and inrush of air, she was gone.

Starlight came around the door, rubbing her nose as Thorax gesticulated with his forehooves. “She’s… Moon Dancer’s a crystal changeling!”

“What? How do you know that?” asked Starlight.

“I can tell! Since I became a Prince, I can detect any red changeling by touch, no matter the disguise. I hadn’t touched a crystal changeling yet, but… I know she was one in the same way!”

I shook my head then looked at Trixie. “But changelings can’t teleport!”

She frowned and waved a hoof at the spot where Moon Dancer had been. “Don’t try to convince me. Tell her that!”

I blinked and tried to think of a counter-argument. “OK, so at least one changeling can teleport. So the real Moon Dancer has been replaced and is going to summon more of them. We have to—”

“I don’t think so, Prince Mark,” said Thorax. “The fear she experienced felt the same as when we first met, just stronger.”

Penumbra came up to my side, “Did you see her face? She was terrified of Thorax, of being discovered for what she really was. An infiltrator would not react that way, especially in the middle of an operation.”

Trixie said, “So Moon Dancer was replaced earlier, maybe much earlier. OK. Could she not have been aware of Chrysalis’ plans?”

Starlight tapped her chin with a hoof, then winced and set it back down again. “If so, she would have run away to somewhere she felt safe.”

Penny sighed. “Which doesn’t exactly narrow things down in this castle that is bigger on the inside than on the outside.”

It was my turn to tap my chin. “Actually, I have an idea where she might be.”

As I gently opened the door to the library, I could hear anguished sobs coming from within. I led us inside and Penumbra closed the door behind us. I motioned for everyone to stand back a bit as I quietly walked up to within a body-length of the inconsolable mare. She was in the exact same spot that she retreated to after seeing Thorax for the first time, wedged into a corner between two bookshelves.

I settled myself down on my stomach. “Moon Dancer, I’m here to listen if you want to talk.”

Her crying was broken up by gulping and swallowing. I saw Trixie’s magic float a box of tissues over to the mare.

After blowing her nose several times, she choked out. “It’s no use. It’s all over. I can never… It’s all over.” Her head hung down until her nose touched the ground and sobs began rocking her body again.

I debated going over to comfort her but was beaten by Starlight who walked by me, got down and pulled the mare’s shoulders into a hug. “Hey. How about you let us be the judge of that. I mean on the scale of messing things up, you haven’t even reached my Amateur Night level.”

That got Moon Dancer to laugh a bit which was mixed in with hiccups. She hugged Starlight’s forelegs in return.

After a couple of minutes, I thought she had calmed down enough for me to ask, “Why don’t you come out here with us?”

With the support of Starlight, Moon Dancer let herself be led onto a couch at the center of the library, every part of her drooping in despair. The two mares sat down together and the revealed changeling would not let go of Starlight’s foreleg wrapped around her shoulders. “Just start at the beginning.”

With one last shuddering breath, Moon Dancer began. “Well, OK. I suppose it couldn’t get much worse.” She wiped her eyes. “When I was a little nymph, all of us were led to a cavern far away from the hive to practice our pony magic…”

“… and by supplying your changeling magic to the standard transmutation construct at the base of the equation…” the instructor tapped the chalkboard with his pointing stick. “… you can supply sufficient unicorn magic to activate the spell. I know you all just got done with Ochre Wing’s class. Don’t use that construct because earth pony magic can’t be used for unicorn spells.”

“Stupid,” I thought to myself with a frown. “Wasteful. Low efficiency.”

“Now I’m going to show you what happens when you do it right. Pay attention because I’m not going to demonstrate again.” Shattering Blast aimed his horn at the ceiling and a small ball of fire shot from it, nearly dissipating completely before reaching the roof of the cavern. I saw his shield spell activate. “Now I’m going to point at each of you in turn. Don’t waste my time. Give me your best shot.”

“Did noling here read StarSwirl’s treatise on Power Modulation? Why not connect the ley line directly above us to the input of the spell? I’ll get rid of all those bottlenecks that limit thaumaturgical flow while I’m at it.”

By the time it was my turn, I was ready with the spell modifications. By linking to the ley line, I wasn’t limited by what my body could channel, just what my horn could withstand. For some reason, my horn grew so bright that I could no longer see Shattering Blast. Still, he had given me an order. I was knocked backward head over tail when I released the spell. I heard the fireball shoot away and felt the heat when it impacted the wall. When I looked up, my instructor was somewhat on fire. He had apparently moved before I cast the spell and was certainly moving a lot now. And screaming. Belatedly, I thought the limiting elements in the original spell may have been there for a reason.

I heard amused laughter coming from directly above me just when a large hoof pressed my back against the floor. Looking up, I saw the hive-mother, Queen Chrysalis. “Someling put out the fire on the instructor.” When this had been done, she said, “Shattering Blast – you are remanded to two months of training to improve your shield magic. Dismissed!”

The instructor gave me a worried look before bowing and scurrying away.

Now the Queen’s eyes turned downwards. My body quaked in fear while she studied me. She said, “Does any changeling know what this drone did wrong?”

Looking around, I saw one hoof slowly raise up. It was Earwig. “She didn’t go for the head?”

Chrysalis beamed. “You will make an excellent soldier. Report to the sparring caves for your training.”

The little drone gasped. “Thank you, My Queen!” He was lucky to get an assignment. Not every changeling did. Those that didn’t… well, I didn’t know exactly what happened to them, but they were of no use to the hive. I was very scared that the Queen would say the same of me after my mistake.

Chrysalis turned to regard me again, a small smile on her face. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to come along for many generations, little Timpani. You are going to be a very important changeling for the future of the hive.’ ”

Thorax interrupted, “Wait. You’re Timpani? I remember you from years ago.”

Moon Dancer smiled. “And I remember you. No other changeling tried to make me happy, which you did for everyling.”

Thorax got a faraway look. “Yeah. I think you were the nymph who appreciated it the most. Nearly all other ‘lings were too busy with their duties or just fighting each other.” He looked back at Moon Dancer. “So if you knew who I was, why were you so afraid of me?”

“I’ll… I’ll get to that. So I started training to be an infiltrator. I learned all that the hive could teach me about pony culture and the world of Equus. I studied pony magic the hardest because that’s where I excelled. Chrysalis herself took over when I exhausted the knowledge of the teachers and the few books in the library. As for me, I was living in pure bliss. Nothing made me happier than learning something new, especially if it had to do with magic. I devoured books faster than they could be procured by the infiltrators and scavengers.”

One night, Chrysalis told me to put on the disguise of a pegasus foal. One of the field infiltrators took the role of my mother and we flew to Baltimare. There I met my adopted family. They had been just moved to the town on Chrysalis’ orders after being greenlocked.”

Trixie said, “What does that mean?”

Moon Dancer cringed a bit. “It means they spent long enough under constant mental control that they followed every order from any changeling without hesitation. And they would never remember it.”

While Trixie growled, I asked, “Does this happen often?”

“No. Just like any other perturbation to pony society, it is only done for important missions. In this case, me. I was told to take the form of a light gray unicorn filly with a medium-brown mane and tail. My cutie mark was an open scroll and my name was assigned as ‘Deep Grasp.’ I was introduced to the unicorn couple as their daughter of eight years, which they instantly believed. Straight Shooter and his wife Bright Gaze were the best parents I could ever have had, showering me with love and insisting I spend time with friends instead of devoting all my free time at the library. I cared for them deeply in return, possibly because of the example you set, Thorax.”

The changeling prince smiled. “That’s what I do now, too. I want to show changelings everywhere that we can all care for ponies and work with them as equals.”

Moon Dancer returned the smile then continued. “Everything changed right after I turned eleven when my supervising field infiltrator was replaced…”

“… and Garnet Gleam asked me to have a sleep-over at her house on Saturday. Can I please, Daddy?”

My mom and dad shared a grin and I felt their happiness spike. Then he gave me that playful narrowing of his eyes that let me know a ‘dad joke’ was incoming. “Hmm… I don’t know. Did you get your homework done?”

I rolled my eyes. “Dad. You know I always finish it the night I get it.”

He tapped the table thoughtfully and smirked. “Well… is that really good enough? I mean, couldn’t there be a filly out there that gets it done within an hour?”

“Daaaaaaaaaad!”

Both my parents burst out laughing. I soaked up some of the positive emotions. I was almost full but their unfettered love was so wonderful that I had saved some room.

The front door burst open and three pegasus stallions trotted in. They weren’t bothering to radiate any emotions, so I knew exactly what they were.

My dad got up from the table as my mom said, “What are—”

The last closed the door and all three dropped their disguises. The first said, “Shut up! Don’t move!” My parents became still as statues. This was getting scary. I didn’t recognize any of them.

The first changeling came up to me and shoved me to the floor, holding me in place with a hoof on my neck. The other two went over to my parents and began forcibly draining them of emotions.

“Hey! I need them!”

“You only need one thing, stupid grub: to serve the hive. Creased Wing was… reassigned because our Queen was dissatisfied with your progress. She believes you are becoming too comfortable with the food. From now on, you will be under my hoof. I will decide what you do with every moment of your life. Every act, every movement, every thought you have will be to better serve Queen Chrysalis. Do you understand?”

My parents were now slumped on the floor, their eyes vacant. I fought down my emotions and looked up into the lead changeling’s eyes. “The hive is all, we serve the hive by serving Queen Chrysalis in all things.”

He nodded.

I said, “But I don’t know your name.”

He lifted his hoof and followed the other two changelings to the front door. They all put on their pegasus disguises on the way. “You don’t need to know. I’ve heard you are intelligent. Let’s see how well you can follow orders on your own initiative. In seven days, I want to be impressed with your progress toward becoming a powerful mage. Do not disappoint me.”

They left and I stared at my adopted parents. Creased Wing had never drained either of them to this extent. It would be days before they were back to normal. At that moment, I knew my foalhood was over. For that matter, so was my commitment to the hive and Queen Chrysalis.

I growled under my breath. “Yes. Let’s see what I can accomplish on my own initiative.”

Moon Dancer took another tissue from the box and blew her nose.

“After that, I stopped doing anything with my friends. I threw myself into studying harder than ever, but with an end goal in mind. I practiced teleporting objects every night for three months but didn’t tell the new field infiltrator. I did a report on the Baltimare Mortuary for extra credit in my Civics class, again not telling my overseer. For my class project, I chose to study fire containment magic. The last part was the hardest. I had to obtain three unicorn corpses that were close enough to my family’s description to fool everypony. My first successful teleport was into the Mortuary. Every evening after midnight, I would go back and check. Then one night, I found a unicorn couple and their young colt in the vaults of the processing room. I borrowed a floating gurney and took them to the service entrance. I knew it would open from the inside and restore its protective field when closed. A notice-me-not spell later, I was pushing the gurney through the streets of the city.”

She took a deep breath. “I dropped my disguise in front of my parents and ordered them to go outside and wait for further instructions. I put the adult bodies in their bed and put the colt in front of the fireplace. Then I put an inferno salamander in a wooden box inside the lit fireplace. It was a natural mistake a young magic user could make. Fires caused by elemental sources can only be controlled by a different class of spells. With how close I placed the body to the fireplace, I had to hope that there would be nothing left to identify that it was a colt and not me.”

“Two more notice-me-not spells later, my parents and I walked away from our old life. On the way to the mortuary, I ordered my parents to change their names and hairstyles. Mane dye jobs would have to wait until later. I told them to remember that somepony had threatened to kill me and they both decided we had to leave our old lives immediately, taking nothing with us. That’s also when I changed my appearance and name to what you see now. Stopping by the mortuary, I returned the gurney and recorded the three corpses as ‘retrieved by family’.”

Moon Dancer’s hooves shook and Starlight put her free hoof on the mare’s shoulder. The yellow mare smiled gratefully. “I… I looked back from a hill outside the city. I could see that the flames had completely engulfed the house. I heard the sirens, too. But the fire wouldn’t go out until they brought in a mage that could contain the salamander.”

She looked up at us. “The rest you know. I was a studious mare who got into Celestia’s school, though a year earlier than when Chrysalis had scheduled me to do so. I didn’t really make good friends after that, just study buddies and acquaintances. My parents reestablished themselves as Forthright and his wife Steady Look. Everything went fine until Chrysalis invaded Canterlot. I galloped back to my parents’ house, took them into the basement and hid us by actively maintaining every changeling and unicorn illusion and concealment spell I could think of. That worked until Shining Armor and Cadance’s love blast threw me into a wall and I lost consciousness.”

“I woke up in my changeling form. Later I realized it was because I had been actively casting changeling magic when I was knocked out. I was still in the basement and my curious and concerned parents were treating my injuries. I quickly shifted to my unicorn form but knew it was far too late. I thought about just ordering them to forget, but I couldn’t make myself do it again. Instead, I told them everything, crying most of the time. When I was done, they looked at each other and I could tell they wordlessly came to a decision. My mother said, ‘Moon Dancer, dear. Everything you have done has been to protect us. You will always be our daughter, no matter the form.’ ”

“I was so shocked I couldn’t speak! But the love flowing off of them let me know they meant every word.”

“Then my dad got that smirk. ‘Although I am rather jealous about you having wings.’ ”

“’Daaaad.’ ”

“’Who knew our little filly would grow up to have both a horn and wings?’ He bowed deeply to me. ‘Grace us with your wisdom, oh wondrous alicorn Princess Moon Dancer.’ ”

“’Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!’ ”

Everyone in the room laughed at her reenactment. It seemed that all of us knew the type of jokes her dad favored.

Moon Dancer said, “My mom told me, ‘Moonie, would you please command us both to never accept an order from a changeling ever again?’ I literally slapped my forehead with a hoof. I had never thought of that!”

“And that’s about it. I just laid low, researching and learning until Trixie forced me into a more public role. I did everything I could to avoid all other changelings. If Chrysalis found out I survived, she would capture my family to extort me into doing her will. Or do much worse.”

Starlight asked, “But how did you avoid the detection spells meant for finding crystal changelings?”

Moon Dancer gave her a disappointed look. “Twilight gave them to me, asking if I could think of any improvements. The one I couldn’t immediately counter got an update that made sure I could.”

“And Twilight trusted you because you passed all her background checks, but that was because you’ve always been Moon Dancer for as long as she’s known you,” I said. “But one thing still puzzles me – Queen Carpacia told me changelings can’t teleport.”

The yellow mare’s eyes went wide. “Really? I didn’t know that. I was really motivated, though.”

Trixie nudged me in the side. “Give it up, Ballpark Spells. You were wrong.”

“I was misinformed,” I said, trying to save some face. I got no sympathetic looks in return. “Well, in any case, we need to get to the crystal changeling hive to get our friends back.”

“Wait! What?” Moon Dancer’s mouth hung open. “What do you mean?”

Trixie said, “Chrysalis has again moved to take over Equestria and probably the Crystal Empire. This morning, she replaced Twilight, Fluttershy, and most likely the other Elements of Harmony.”

Moon Dancer gaped. “But… Twilight was supposed to wake me so we could get to the Afternoon Court in time.”

Penumbra said, “She must have been replaced before then. It’s possible that ponies such as the advisors were purposely left alone to help keep everything as normal as possible until Chrysalis decided to make her move. Starlight was probably excepted because her power level made her a threat.”

Trixie added, “Except they didn’t know about Twilight’s habit of waking you if you stayed up late studying.”

The mare’s ears flattened onto her head. I had a pretty good idea of how often that happened. Regardless… “Moon Dancer, we need your help.”

She shrunk down again. “I… I want to help, but just the few of us can’t free our friends from the hive. They are likely suspended in pods above Chrysalis’ throne in the main chamber. There will be dozens of changeling soldiers there at all times. And pony magic doesn’t work close to the hive.”

I said, “I don’t expect that we will. Our job is to provide a distraction and get Thorax close enough that he can challenge Chrysalis for leadership of the hive. That, we can do.”

Moon Dancer looked into my eyes for a long moment, then scanned the rest of us. Eventually, she turned back to me. “OK. What can I do?”

After Thorax retrieved his saddlebags from his cave-like chambers, we tried Spike’s room. He was busy sleeping off his breakfast, a Power Ponies comic covering his face. I nudged him a few times, each push a little harder than the last.

He finally woke with an exclamation of, “No, Rarity, I didn’t eat the emeralds off the dress!” He blinked a few times to clear his head. “Mark? What are you doing in Ponyville?”

I smiled. I sincerely doubted any changeling would dream about getting in trouble with Spike’s crush, but I had to be sure. “Spike, what was the first item I enchanted during the adventure I DM’ed?”

He cocked his head. “A hatchet. You never told me why it split the wood apart the second time I used it.”

“Remember the thick paint? The first time, you tried to chop across the grain. The second time I gave you a new face so you could cut along it.”

“Ah, OK. That makes sense.” He looked around the room then back up at me. “Better question. Why are all of you in my room?”

I frowned. “Chrysalis is moving to take over Equestria. Probably the Crystal Empire too. She’s already replaced Twilight and Fluttershy that we know of.”

Spike’s eyes went wide and he bolted for the door. I shifted to my Marklestia form and grabbed him with my magic, holding the dragon a few inches off of the floor.

“Lemme go! I have to go save my sister!”

Trixie got directly in front of him. “We need to plan. If you run off, that will warn the changelings that their operation is no longer a secret. That includes the guards at the entrances to this castle.”

Spike stopped struggling and took a few deep breaths. “OK, you can let me down.”

After releasing him, I said, “We’ll get them back, Spike. We need your help though.”

He nodded. “You got it.”

I took my stallion form again only to notice Moon Dancer’s nose about an inch away from my flank. “Wow,” said the mare. “Twilight had told me about this, but to actually see it. So much more efficient than either any changeling or unicorn magic I know. Just … wow.”

Penumbra smirked. “Marklestia is pretty hot, isn't she?”

“Yes,” the unicorn answered quickly, then her eyes opened wide. “I mean...” Moon Dancer glared at my chuckling bodyguard.

The batpony's grin grew wider. “What I'd give right now to know the mix of emotions you're feeling.”

All eyes turned to Thorax, who was finding the ceiling exceptionally fascinating. “I see nothing. I feel nothing. I know nothing.” He may not have been born a pony stallion, but he was already wise enough to know when not to say anything that might enrage a mare.

My wife shrugged. “Trixie doesn't mind that you find my husband attractive. Trixie takes this as more evidence that she chose well when she allowed Embark Foretells to marry her.”

'Allowed?!' I thought to myself. My shoulders slumped. “Let's get back on task, shall we?”

Spike asked if Moon Dancer needed her glasses since she was chronically near-sighted. One quick blast of green fire later she said, “Not anymore.”

“Clever,” said my bodyguard. “Willingly giving yourself a handicap like that? No wonder Chrysalis never suspected who you were.”

After a brief discussion, we decided the next course of action was to survey the area around the Crystal Hive by using the Map Table.

As we headed towards the front of the castle, we heard pony voices and buzzing from up ahead. I heard laughter and a raised voice saying “always late”.

Penumbra waved us all back and we retreated to a guest room along the corridor. After the door was closed, Trixie asked, “Could they be looking for us? Did they detect our emotions?”

Moon Dancer said, “That sounded like regular, conversational voices so I don’t think so. You bring up a good point, though. Changelings can find their prey… I mean… can find ponies by detecting their emotions from a short distance away. The stronger the emotion, the easier it is to detect. If there are changelings in the main foyer, it wouldn’t be safe for a pony to look down on them.”

Penumbra growled. “Plus I heard the hum of them flying around. Those weren’t pegasus wings making that noise.”

Thorax said, “Well if they aren’t searching for us, why are they here? Did they come for Moon Dancer or Spike?”

I furrowed my brow. “I don’t think so. One was complaining about some pony or changeling being late. I think they are here for a meeting.”

Spike said, “In the Map Room?”

“That makes the most sense. Is there a room on this floor that has a wall in common with it?”

“Sure! The last room on the left. If we could make it there without being seen.”

Trixie asked, “But won’t they feel our emotions from that close?”

Moon Dancer shook her head. “The crystal walls block emotional energy completely. Still haven’t figured out how. It’s one reason I didn’t realize you were all walking past me in the corridor.”

Spike grinned. “The other reason begins with the letter ‘B’ and rhymes with ‘Look’, as in ‘Look where you’re going, you crazy mare!’ ”

Moon Dancer frowned but Thorax chuckled. “Spike wasn’t talking about you, Timpani.”

The mare blinked and smiled. “Yes, I suppose you’ve heard that a few million times, haven’t you?”

I asked, “Is there some way to eavesdrop through the wall?”

Moon Dancer smirked. “Are you asking if changelings are good at intelligence gathering?”

“Ahhh.. no. I guess I’ll take that as a given. How do we get there undetected?”

“I can levitate all of us so we are silent,” said Starlight.

Moon Dancer said, “And I can mask all of us from their sight. Starlight, keep everyone close to me, please.”

“Anything else?” I asked. When no one spoke up, I said, “Everyone keep their emotions under control, please. Let’s go.”

The trip through the corridor was uneventful, even if the sight of changelings flying past in the foyer made my anxiety jump. I resolved not to look that direction at all and tried to meditate my emotions away. Soon, all of us were in the room at the end of the hallway and Moon Dancer’s magic closed the door. She trotted to the far wall and her horn glowed green then yellow. A small yellow cone grew out of the wall like a flower then stopped when it was the size of a pony’s head.

We could hear voices as everyone clustered around. “… and I could feel his desire for my form as sure as eggs. Maybe afterward, I’ll take him up on his offer… you know, maybe give him a little surprise when he least expects it.” The voice was Rarity’s but didn’t have a trace of kindness.

Some harsh laughter came through the cone. ‘Rainbow Dash’ said, “Whatever. Just make sure you’ve had your fill before you start playing with the food.”

Applejack’s voice was next. “As long as I get your rations after you’re dead.” The laughter around the room stopped. “Do you want to risk upsetting her plan? I, for one, don’t want to get reprocessed because I couldn’t read her mind.” This version of Applejack was making no attempt to put on a country accent when it was only talking to changelings.

A fourth voice said, “She hasn’t told us what to do after the transition happens. Especially after the last time when she… after events occurred.”

‘Rainbow Dash’ said, “Whadya mean?” OK, at least one was trying to stay in character.

“Did you hear what happened in the Canterlot Throne Room?” Pause. “Dimplehorn told me the Queen wanted to draw out the suffering of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. She turned her back on them because she thought they were no longer a threat.” A longer pause. “Buuuuuut you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Shards,” said ‘Rarity.’ “No wonder she’s being so thorough this time.”

‘Rainbow Dash’ said, “Well, what about Moon Dancer and Spike? They’re still in the castle, right? Why haven’t they been rounded up?”

‘Rarity’ replied, “Remember the guidelines for the operation: Only beings that are a threat are replaced. Minimal disruption. Anyway, they sleep in. If they don’t, we’ll pod ‘em.” I heard various grunts and sounds of agreement. “Anyway, it’s our appointed time to call in. I don’t want to be late.”

For a moment, the only sounds coming from the Map Room was a periodic buzzing. Then we all heard Chrysalis’ voice but with a tinny quality. “Hello?”

‘Rarity’ said, “My Queen, we—”

Except Chrysalis had spoken right over her. “Who is this?”

After a pause, the faux unicorn said, “My Queen—”

Once again, his timing was bad. “This better not be Hindwing again.”

There was a small choking sound, followed by ‘Rarity’ talking more loudly this time. “Your Majesty, this is—”

“Because if it is, you are going to have your stomachs turned into playthings for my nymphs, do you understand?” Her tone betrayed her growing irritation.

Rainbow Dash spoke into the silence immediately after Chrysalis was done. “Hey! This is Ponyville calling, My Queen.”

Even angrier now. “What! Why didn’t you say so? And where is Pollen Press?”

‘Rarity’ said, “Here, Your Majesty! And there was… interference with the… crystal walls.”

We heard an intake of breath from many drones.

Chrysalis said, “Hmf. Very well. Status report.”

The sound of many beings letting out their breath. Pollen Press continued, “All five element bearers replaced and on their way to the hive. Discord lulled into his ‘vacation’ with Fluttershy. All castle guards replaced. No complications. Awaiting further orders.” By the end, she was sounding rather smug.

There was a long, drawn-out pause. I looked to Moon Dancer but she shook her head. Finally, we heard Chrysalis speak again, the coldness virtually dripping from her voice. “And what ‘extra’ actions have been taken without my authorization?”

“Anyling?” asked Pollen Press. Another pause. “Every changeling reports none have been taken, My Queen. No additional ponies detained. Friendship Castle is closed as per Princess Sparkle’s orders.”

“Then get back to work. Report back the same time tomorrow.”

A chorus of, “Yes, My Queen!” came from the cone followed by buzzing and galloping noises. After a few seconds, all was quiet again.

The cone faded away and no one dared to speak. Penumbra crept to the door and listened for a few minutes, then she nodded. “OK, I’m fairly sure they all went back to their assigned tasks.”

Trixie said, “Which means none of them are in the castle right now.”

Spike said, “Sooooooo… Map Room?”

We cautiously made our way downstairs and walked up to the Map Table which was showing its ghostly representation of Equestria. Moon Dancer’s jaw clenched and the projection changed to show an area of the Badlands even more barren than what passed as normal there.

Penumbra said, “No landmarks nearby. Not even any easily visible mountains to triangulate with.”

“Well, that was a bust,” I said. “How else can we communicate where the hive is located to the rest of the Equestrian forces?”

Moon Dancer said, “Follow me.”

Moon Dancer led us down two flights of stairs then to a large steel door. “This is a Daggertooth Scale Portal Room. There is a second in the Crystal Empire and the third is still under construction in Canterlot Castle. It’s a storage spot for the teleportation pole network that has been set up in secret for any emergency that requires rapid travel around Equestria or to the Crystal Empire.”

The mare stood in front of the door and her horn glowed for several seconds. After a series of audible clicks, she walked forward and her magic pushed the door open with the rest of the party following.

The large room was unfamiliar to me. A low platform was at the far end of the room with stacks of wood poles next to it. A dozen large cabinets ran along one wall, each containing five drawers. Closest to us was one shorter cabinet with two tall drawers. Each was labeled with one letter identifying the cabinet and a second letter for the drawer.

The opposite wall held a blown-up map of Equestria with hundreds of flagged pins. Moon Dancer walked up to the lower right corner where Equestria ended and the Badlands began. She levitated a pin from a cork strip along the side of the map and placed it near the center of the area. “Pin X-1 is exactly where the Crystal Hive is located. Because of changeling camouflage spells, it hasn’t been discovered. Or more correctly, if anypony got close enough to get inside the illusions, they were captured by the patrols and either released after having their recent memories wiped, or possibly shoved in a pod to feed the hive.”

Trixie asked, “Why would Chrysalis willingly let ponies go?”

Penumbra replied, “Doubtless because any location where ponies disappear is a good candidate for a patrol in force to find out why, and neutralize it.”

“Exactly,” said Moon Dancer.

I was busy writing out a note on a blank scroll. “What’s the grid location?”

Penumbra took a closer look. “Grid W-22, Subgrid J-4. Scale Portal GB-71 is the closest to that location—maybe ten miles away.”

I rolled up the sheet of paper and handed it to Spike. “This goes to Crimson Boulder.”

“Wait,” said Trixie. “What did you write?”

“Who is in our party, coordinates of the hive, and a rough outline of our plan. I’m leaving all the rest of the details to him. Did I forget anything?”

Penumbra said, “What about confirming that all the Element Bearers have been replaced, along with the castle guards?”

I grumbled and unrolled the scroll.

Thorax added, “Umm… Mark, did you include which portal we are taking?”

My grumbling intensified.

Trixie trotted up behind me. I swear I could hear her smile as she said, “That would be GB-71, darling.”

“Yes, yes. Thank you, dear.”

After asking again if everything important was on the scroll, I had Spike send it on its way to Crimson Boulder. After that was done, the next debate started.

“The sooner we leave, the sooner we get there,” said Trixie.

Penumbra said, “We still need supplies – food; water; shelter. And we need to time our arrival at the hive with the start of the operation at noon tomorrow.”

Thorax said, “Can we spend the night here in the castle?”

I shook my head. “With the changeling patrols, there’s too much of a chance we’ll be discovered. I agree with Penumbra. There’s less risk to go through now and camp on the other side.”

Spike raised a hand. “Problem!” Once he had our attention he said, “Moon Dancer and I can’t just disappear. The guards will know something is up.”

Trixie said, “Then why don’t you two go out and get the supplies we need, but let the door guards overhear you both talking about going to Canterlot?”

I said, “I like it. Any better ideas?” Everyone looked around but no one spoke. “That should be perfectly safe because Chrysalis has her drones terrified of taking any initiative. They won’t be putting either of you in a pod since you aren’t regarded as a threat.”

Penumbra compiled a list of the needed items and the unicorn and dragon left the room. The rest of us quizzed Thorax on the layout of the hive until they returned an hour later.

When they stepped inside the chamber, Moon Dancer shut the door and her horn glowed for a few moments. Spike looked me in the eyes and asked, “What kind of cleric was Discord during your DM session?”

I smiled. “A Crakerovian. What kind of cleric was he at the end of the adventure?”

“A Wafflizer… Waffle-ite? …Waffle-something.”

“That’ll do. Any problems?”

“Nope. Tents and Bicycles had everything we need.”

Ponyville’s tendency to marry two apparently unrelated sets of good into one retail shop was not something I would ever get used to. “Spike – your job is to warn the dragons and ask for help against Chrysalis.”

“But I…” he started to protest then looked down at his feet. “No, you’re right.”

“Is there anything you need?” asked Starlight.

The dragon shook his head. “No, I’m ready now, I suppose.”

Moon Dancer went to the second to last cabinet and pulled out four disks the size of a large coin. “I have DL-1 and DL-2 along with spares Z-7 and Z-8.”

“Noted,” said Penumbra, placing more pins on the map.

Moon Dancer looked over stacks of wooden poles of different lengths piled next to the platform. She levitated four approximately twice the height of a pony off of the stacks. After attaching each to one of the disks, the mare slid one pole into a hole in the floor of the platform. With a touch of her magic, a portal opened up in space, showing a forest clearing with pine trees on the far side. Snow-topped mountains rose in the distance.

“Good luck, Spike!” Trixie said next to me.

Spike gave her a grim smile and stepped through with Moon Dancer. On the other side, we saw Moon Dancer jam two of the poles into the ground then activate the first. A second portal opened, this time showing a flat plain with brown hexagonal pillars jutting up from the ground. The pair stepped through again. Moon Dancer planted the last pole in the ground then got down on one knee to give Spike a proper hug.

The dragon jogged out of view with Moon Dancer following him with her eyes for a few moments. She walked back through the second portal then deactivated it with a glow of her horn. She came back into the room and shut off the first portal the same way.

Penumbra walked up to the unicorn mare, holding more poles with discs already attached. “I have three more spares already marked on the map. I’ll set them up after we go through.”

I said, “Last chance to get anything before we go.” I didn’t need to be a changeling to detect the nervousness in the air. “Alright then, let’s do this.”

Penumbra removed the now spent portal disk on the top of the pole on the platform. After throwing it to the side, she attached a replacement and stood back. Reading the writing on the face of the disk, I saw “GB-71”.

“Mind if I try?” asked Starlight. Moon Dancer turned and nodded with a smile. The pink mare activated the portal and immediately stepped through.

After giving my wife a brief wing-hug, I followed.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Who saw Moon Dancer playing a bigger role in this story?

Our intrepid heroes take on the hive next chapter. What new surprises will be in store for them?

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 56 - Invading The Hive

We stepped out into a landscape that had a few stunted trees, scraggly bushes, a few rocks, and much sandy soil. So this was the perimeter of the Badlands? Not a very inviting place but I felt pleased that the Equestrian Army Engineer Corps had already managed to equip even this remote area with an emergency teleportation portal. Actually, it was areas like these that needed them as a priority because there were no pony settlements around to act on Equestria’s behalf. An invading force might well try to avoid detection by coming through unpopulated parts of the country. Of course, they would have to deal with rather hostile territory. Ahead of me, I could see that even this sparse vegetation petered out into a nearly barren desert. Of the changeling hive, however, I could see nothing.

“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” I asked.

Moon Dancer pointed in a roughly southern direction. “As I said, it’s hidden from pony view, but it’s about ten miles that way. I can feel it.”

“You can take a changeling out of the hive but you can’t take the hive out of the changeling, right?”

“Something like that,” she acknowledged sourly.

“Mark, please don’t bring up our connection to the hive,” Thorax said. “Neither of us likes to be reminded that we were once part of Chrysalis’ ambitions.”

“Sorry. Anyway, everypony have a look around for a suitable spot to set up camp. We have the rest of the day and the night to kill, and this close to the hive, it’s best to be inconspicuous.”

Trixie’s days as an itinerant entertainer served her well. She quickly scoped out an ideal spot nestled between some huge boulders that would conceal us from ground patrols. Carefully arranged fly sheets over our tents rendered them inconspicuous to aerial surveillance. I checked the area from above and deemed it adequate. Short of military-grade camouflage, we were never going to be invisible.

Next came the worst part – waiting. We had nothing to do besides discuss strategies for when we had gained access to the hive. When night fell, we turned in early because we couldn’t risk any sort of light or fire. Thankfully, Trixie and I had a tent to ourselves, so we got in a bit of personal time together. Starlight and Penny shared a second tent while Thorax and Moon Dancer were in the third. I got the impression that Moonie wanted to chat with her former hive-mate now that her identity had been revealed. I figured they both had plenty to talk about. Penny insisted on taking watch duty all night, asserting that one night without sleep would not hinder her performance.

Desert nights are cold! Getting out of our warm sleeping bags in the morning was not a pleasant prospect. Trixie clung to me and demanded ten minutes more. I would have probably given her twenty if it wasn’t for my overly-cheerful bodyguard sticking her nose into the tent.

“Good – you’re awake. I have breakfast ready.”

Trixie and I chorused groans of displeasure while Penny just chuckled. Yeah, neither of us were gritty heroes inured to the rigors of the campaign.

Nonetheless, we did get up and dine on our morning repast. The sun had risen sufficiently to burn the chill out of the air by the time we were ready. There was no point in breaking camp because we did not plan to sleep outside again.

“Should we try one more time?” asked Starlight.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Calling Discord.”

“Oh, sure.” I had tried yesterday while waiting for Moon Dancer and Spike to return. “Discord! Discord! Discord!”

The silence stretched out for several seconds. I sighed. “We had better get moving. That’s a long march ahead of us.”

“I can save us some time,” Starlight said, powering up her horn. “I’ll teleport us closer.”

“No, don’t!” Moon Dancer exclaimed with alarm.

Either the scholar was too late or Starlight ignored her, but I felt the teleport spell take hold of us. Next moment, we were elsewhere and collapsing on the ground, puking our guts out. We all lay on the sand, groaning in misery for a minute or so before Trixie managed to speak.

“Wh-what happened?”

After a long pause, Moon Dancer replied, “We’re lucky to be alive.”

“I feel like death warmed over,” I groaned.

Moon Dancer said, “That’s because the teleport matrix was disrupted. If Starlight’s spell had been even a little less powerful, we might never have arrived.”

“The Great and Nauseous Trixie wants to know why?”

“As I mentioned yesterday, the hive has protection against all kinds of pony magic. It disrupted Starlight’s spell weave.”

“How’s that possible?” Starlight asked as she tried to test that assertion. Her horn fizzled and popped, but nothing else happened.

Thorax replied, “As Timpani was trying to warn you, Chrysalis’ throne is carved from an ancient dark stone that soaks up outside magic the same way changelings soak up love. Only changeling magic works in its vicinity. It’s how she keeps the hive safe.”

I struggled dizzily to my hooves. “That just made our job a lot harder.” I tried my wings and found that their flight magic was also neutralized. They were just feathery fans now.

“I suggest that we all rest a bit and have a drink of water,” Moon Dancer said as she opened her own flask. “Don’t try to eat anything until the nausea settles down.”

“At least you didn’t have as much actual food to lose,” Penny said queasily.

“No, but I burned through a lot of my love reserves saving us from Starlight’s ill-advised teleport. I was able to tap into her spell to provide it with extra power to reinforce the weave until the completion of the teleport. It’s a good thing that I studied how they work.”

So that’s why we were still alive. “Thanks, Moonie. You’ve earned a big bonus in your next pay packet.”

“First we have to defeat Chrysalis,” Trixie said. “Moon Dancer, are you sure that you’ll be able to conceal us?”

She turned into a crystal changeling drone, shrinking in size. “Please call me Timpani from here forward. I don’t want to put my parents at risk.”

I nodded in agreement, then toward her sparkly appendages. “Nice wings, by the way.”

She turned around to look and gasped. “How did that happen?!”

Thorax said, “I found that when I shared love, my wings did the same thing. You must have been expressing love for your foster parents for years.”

“I had no idea,” the changeling drone said in a dreamy voice. “I haven’t taken this form since I left Baltimare, other than with my parents after the invasion and I didn’t notice then. Well, can’t let anyling see this.” With a burst of green fire, her wings took the shape of a common drone’s.

Penny said, “No, go back to your unicorn form. No sense in giving away an advantage if the enemy doesn’t realize you’re one of them.”

“But… my parents…”

I said, “Penny’s right. Chrysalis won’t believe that your parents are still alive. The way she thinks, she will almost certainly believe you sacrificed them to make your escape more believable.”

“I could never do that… but you’re correct – the Queen would think that way.” Moon Dancer resumed her normal guise and then turned to Trixie. “To answer your question, I’ll be employing the same magic used to conceal that,” Moon Dancer replied, pointing a hoof beyond the ridge.

We moved over to see what she was indicating and gaped. In a deep depression in the desert floor, surrounded by low forest that must have benefitted from the meager rainfall all flowing to that point, a very tall and spiky structure rose high into the air with a lot of black specks flying around it. Even from ten miles away, it should have been visible, but only now that we were within the concealing spell could we see the hive. No wonder aerial surveys never spotted it. That was damn effective magic.

I turned to Thorax. “You plan to formally challenge Chrysalis for the leadership of the Crystal Hive, correct? Would the guards recognize a changeling prince’s right to do so and let you through?”

He pondered for a moment. “I don’t… no, I don’t think so. They are more likely to just follow their orders to capture any trespassers. I have to get close enough to provoke her directly. She won’t be able to back down from a challenge made within earshot of her drones. She could never show that kind of weakness and continue to rule the hive.”

When we were all finally fit enough to continue, it was time for Moon Dancer to cast the obscuring spell over us. However, there was a problem.

“I’m too low on energy,” the changeling unicorn explained. “Saving us from Starlight’s teleport took too much out of me.”

Starlight looked guilty but Trixie gave her a nudge and inclined her head towards Moon Dancer. Starlight seemed to understand the unspoken suggestion and they both stepped forward to glom onto the surprised changeling. As they stood there with smiles on their faces with their forelegs wrapped around Moon Dancer, I realized that they were feeding her love. I wasn’t about to let my wife and advisor show me up. Besides, I liked Moonie too. It was a little awkward, but I joined the hug and concentrated on pouring those feelings into her.

After a couple of minutes, Moon Dancer cleared her throat and said, “Thanks, everypony. I feel a lot better now.” Her horn lit briefly and then she nodded in satisfaction. “Done!”

We forged on. Despite the near disaster, we had in fact saved a lot of time covering about nine-tenths of the distance from where the portal had been. Every minute saved was to our advantage.

“Remember to stay together,” Moon Dancer advised in a low voice. “My concealment spell is only effective within a few yards range.”

It was indeed effective. Despite the changeling patrols that occasionally passed over our heads, we were not spotted. It wasn’t long before we stood next to the wall of the hive.

“How do we get in?” I asked. “I can’t fly up to one of those entrances.”

“No problem,” Thorax replied as he tapped the wall.

A hole opened up and he stepped inside.

As we hastened to follow, Moon Dancer explained, “The hive constantly changes too, and it responds to our needs. Ponies like you four would get hopelessly lost though, so don’t get separated from us.”

“What if we do?” I asked and promptly clipped my hoof on the edge of the hole and fell on my face.

Trixie sighed. “Aside from knowing your klutziness anywhere, Trixie thinks we need a code phrase.”

“How about ‘klutzy pegasus’?” Penny suggested with a smirk.

“Oh, ha-ha,” I replied as I got back on my hooves.

Starlight grinned and said, “Works for me.”

“Prince of Equestria and I still can’t get any respect,” I muttered.

We very carefully made our way deeper into the hive, Moon Dancer in the lead. Surprisingly, we encountered no changelings at all for a long while. Thorax assured us that there were plenty around but the majority was engaged in outside activities ranging from patrols to gathering supplies or training. Our ultra-cautious movement from one passage to another slowed us down considerably, but it let us hide from those few of the hive’s inhabitants that we spotted coming. The malleable nature of the hive worked in our favor, with either Thorax or Moonie creating a hidey-hole or obscuring wall for us until the changelings passed. However, we must have spent hours travelling a distance that should have taken us minutes. Then our luck ran out.

A hole opened in a wall unexpectedly and a changeling nearly ran into Trixie. He hissed an alarm before dropping unconscious as Penny’s club found his head. The damage was done though. The alarm could be heard spreading further away and then an ominous hum started approaching.

“Changeling patrol!” exclaimed Thorax.

“If you hide, I can misdirect them,” Moon Dancer suggested.

I shook my head. “Now that the alarm has been sounded, won’t they just keep looking around here until they find us?”

Thorax replied, “Yes. Even if I helped Moon Dancer, they would persist.”

“Trixie has a better idea,” my wife said.

“Better tell us quickly,” Penny urged. “That patrol sounds very close.”

Trixie rummaged in her saddlebag and brought out a pouch which she opened up to reveal what I recognized as her smoke pellets. Hurling one onto the ground would provide a burst of dense white smoke. She passed several to Thorax and Moon Dancer. “This is what I want you to do…”

Not long after Trixie finished her hasty instructions, Penny, Starlight, and I watched as Trixie led the changeling patrol on a merry chase, appearing and disappearing again in a puff of smoke, only to turn up a moment later in a spot much further away. From our hiding place in an alcove, we saw that between two changelings and my wife, the guards were deceived into thinking that the pony intruder was heading in a completely different direction from us. One Trixie came back to join us, kissing me on the cheek as she said, “Klutzy pegasus.” Unlike our changeling allies, she couldn’t move very fast without wings, so she merely initiated the pursuit with a boastful taunt as Thorax and Moonie got into position. It had nearly given me a heart attack when the patrol dived to attack her, but she knew what she was doing and they missed her entirely in the obscuring smoke.

“Well done, darling,” I said.

“Trixie is still Great and Powerful, Skylark Swells,” she reminded me.

“Oh, she is indeed,” I replied with a fond smile.

“Not the time!” Starlight hissed.

“Glimmer is right,” Penny said. “That won’t fool them for long.”

“We still have to wait for our guides,” I replied.

Two Trixies turned up at the same time. One said “Klutzy–” while the other followed with “Pegasus!” Thorax and Moon Dancer resumed their normal forms and beckoned us to follow, which we hastily did. We managed to make quite a lot of progress before we were forced to halt once more.

I said, “I suppose it would have been too much to ask for them not to post guards at strategic places. How are we going to get past them?”

Penny replied, “Time to use some of those fancy doodads we brought with us.”

I sighed. “You know that the moment we do, it’ll focus all their efforts to catch us right in this area?”

“Can’t be helped,” the batpony replied cheerfully as she dug out the various weapons we had stocked up on at Twilight’s castle.

The Royal Guard contingent there may have been small, but it was well supplied with everything that could possibly be needed to defend their princess. Frustratingly, several had to be discarded due to needing pony magic to activate them, but there were still a few useful ones that did not rely on a mana supply. I had introduced the ponies to the concept of pepper spray, inspired by the fiery meals at the Tasty Treat. The huge eyes of many species were an inviting target. Alchemists had concocted various potions that provided everything from smoke bombs to high explosives. Egg-sized balls shattered to produce a fine sticky web that could thoroughly entangle an enemy. Then there was my favorite because I invented it – the slap taser. Little discs which were actually super-capacitors that were pre-energized or pegasi could charge up with electricity supplied the power to disable an opponent by zapping exactly like a mini lightning bolt. I gave Crimson Boulder a hard time with those!

“Just remember that those were meant to be used by a squad of well-trained ponies, not one Guard and several civvies.”

“That’s why I’ll be doing all the fighting. The rest of you get past while I draw them away.”

“What?! We can’t just let you do this by yourself!” Trixie exclaimed.

Penumbra gave Trixie and then the rest of us a deadly serious look. “That’s exactly what you’re going to do. I’m a Royal Guard and that’s my job. Don’t worry about me – I might not be able to fly, but the rest of me is fighting fit. Crimson has been drilling me for months on flightless combat.”

“She’s right,” I said. “Let’s not forget our objective.”

The others didn’t like it but they knew there was no alternative. I wished Penny good luck as she made like a ninja and disappeared. A minute later on the opposite side of the chamber, the thestral stepped out of the shadows and called out to the guards, “Can anypony show me where the bathroom is? I seem to have taken a wrong turn somewhere.”

As much as I would have loved to watch the mayhem, as soon as the changelings that were blocking our way had moved to capture the intruder, the rest of us started sneaking to the tunnel. Penny kept up a loud running commentary as she cheerfully kicked butt, so we knew she was still in the fight long after we had passed from the guards’ view.

“Whoops! Did I do that?”

“Is that leg supposed to bend that way?”

“What? You don’t like capsaicin squirted in your eyes? You probably don’t like spicy food either, do you?”

“Don’t you know it’s impolite to touch a lady there?” *CRUNCH*

“I hear chitin takes weeks to heal. Ooh! Make that months.”

“Didn’t I tell you not to step in that glue?”

“Ew! Do you know how hard it is to get ichor out of battle vests?”

“One at a time, colts! I promise to dance with you all eventually.”

“Now see what you did to my second-best sword?!”

Angry chittering and distance drowned out the rest, but I would have loved to have heard them. Even with the benefits of her weapons, the batpony surely would not be able to last much longer anyway. I prayed that they didn’t harm her too much in subduing her. None of us was under the illusion that she had a prayer of defeating them all.

Moonie confidently led us upwards through the hive for quite a while before we hit our next snag. A bend in the tunnel disgorged us into a chamber with two exits. In front of one stood Penumbra with an unconscious changeling by her side.

“It’s about time you got here,” she said. “That shortcut I got out of one of the guards was quicker than I thought.”

Starlight said, “Blame Mark Wells. He’s so klutzy that he slowed us down.”

The batpony nodded. “No matter – we’re all together again. Follow me. The changeling said this is the way to the throne room.” She turned and headed up the left tunnel.

Looking at my companions, I knew that they all realized that this Penumbra was a fake.

Moon Dancer murmured, “Classic trap.” She sighed. “Somepony has to spring it, and I have the best chance of turning the tables. She won’t be expecting a unicorn who can actually do magic in the hive.” She started to step forward.

“No, wait!” Starlight said, extending a hoof to block the disguised changeling. “You’re right, Moon Dancer, you do stand the best chance, while I’m completely useless without my magic. Let me spring the trap while you prepare to knock her out.”

Moon Dancer looked ready to argue, but when Penumbra’s voice came down the tunnel saying, “Will you ponies hurry up!”, we could not delay any longer.

“Go, Glimmy,” I said. “And stay safe! You too, Moon Dancer.”

Starlight nodded and trotted for the left tunnel and Moon Dancer followed her shortly after. We didn’t dally either. We headed down the right tunnel but we hadn’t gotten too far before I heard the telltale sound of magic blasts. Starlight’s plan had worked, but the way the attacks continued told me that there were far more changelings in that tunnel than Moonie would likely be able to deal with.

“How much longer to the throne room, Thorax?” Trixie asked.

“I’m not sure. The fake Penumbra did tell one truth – that tunnel was the fastest route there. This one kind of loops around a bit.”

“As long as we can get to the throne room, the plan can still work,” I said. “Let’s try to get there without being spotted again.”

Perhaps we had fooled the changelings into thinking we were taking a more direct route, or maybe we just got lucky, but we didn’t encounter any more of the enemy. Not that we had thrown caution to the wind. While we continued with a bit more alacrity than before, we still took pains to not be seen. No sense tempting fate. We would have enough to deal with when we got to our goal.

When Thorax finally opened an entrance to a vast room, I knew that we had reached our destination. On one side, raised above the floor on a pedestal made from the normal hive material was an enormous throne carved from a single piece of ebon rock. That had to be the source of the pony-magic nullifying field. I hoped that one of the explosives that I had packed could solve that particular problem.

Trixie distracted me by prodding me and pointing up. That’s when I saw all the cocoons suspended from the ceiling directly above the throne. Their translucent walls let me identify a large number of their inhabitants. I spotted Applejack first, then Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie. There were partially obscured pods behind them but I could see one held Princess Cadance. Horrifyingly, unlike Trixie had been, they seemed to be awake and aware of what was happening but helpless to do anything. Then I noticed an extra-large one next to Fluttershy that held a draconequus. As I had feared, Chrysalis had taken out one of our most powerful allies. My heart sank as I realized that any explosion powerful enough to destroy the rock throne would create enough shrapnel to eviscerate the cocoons above them and the inhabitants inside. The chemical explosive that I had reserved just for this purpose was now useless.

“Watch out! It’s a trap!”

I recognized Moon Dancer’s voice coming from further along the ceiling. I focused on that area and spotted a changeling apparently glued to the roof, her sparkly wings identifying her. The cocoons next to her held Penny and Starlight. But it was the maniacal laughter coming from nearby that drew my attention away from my friends. Crawling from between the two cocoons came the Changeling Queen.

“It seems my uninvited guests have finally arrived. You didn’t seriously think that you could invade my domain with impunity, did you? Even with the help of these two traitors, you never were a threat.”

At that point, numerous holes opened up in the walls of the throne room and changelings poured out, surrounding us. They stripped the three of us of our saddlebags and herded us forward as Chrysalis flew down from the ceiling to meet us at the foot of the pedestal.

“Don’t count us out, Mad Queen,” I snarled.

Chrysalis cackled. “I am your doom, pony! Look on me and despair!”

I smacked my lips, my unimpressed gaze unchanging. “OK, I'll bite. What are you going to do? Put your eggs in us and have the grubs explode out of our chests?”

Chrysalis recoiled, her mouth agape. “Ick! That is disgusting! Of course not!”

I tilted my head. “So maybe you'll melt the flesh off our bones, mold us into giant cakes, then eat us while we are still alive?”

Chrysalis clopped her forehooves over her ears. “Bleh! That's just ... just ... I can't believe a happy-go-lucky pony could even think such a thing!”

I frowned. “Then maybe you'll pre-digest us by—”

Chrysalis ran behind the throne and I could hear the sound of vomiting for several seconds. Eventually, she came back, wide-eyed and wiping acid from her mouth.

I shrugged. “So why, exactly, am I supposed to be afraid of you?”

Chrysalis stopped moving entirely. After several seconds, she looked at Trixie. “I can see why he likes you. He is completely insane.”

“The Great and Wise Trixie knows insanity when she sees it, and it isn’t her husband that she’s looking at now.”

Chrysalis snarled. “Great and wise? You have delusions of replacing Celestia and you think that makes you powerful? I defeated Celestia – you lot are nothing to me!”

I said, “Maybe not, but Thorax here is your superior in every way.”

Chrysalis’ lips curled in contempt as she glanced at Thorax who was cowering under her gaze. “This mentally defective aberration? He’s not a true changeling. His very form is a mockery of crystal changelings. I don’t know how you managed to evolve him to a prince, but I already have enough royalty under my control. I don’t need a freak contaminating my hive.”

Thorax trembled and looked at me but I shook my head. It was too soon yet. Thorax had a precise sense of the time of day while inside the hive. I had asked what it was just before we entered the chamber and, despite the delays getting here, we were still ahead of schedule. I had to buy us some time. “Thorax learned the true meaning of friendship and that is how he has grown to be so much greater than the mere drone that got left behind after your failed invasion of Canterlot. Timpani turned her back on you when you tried to destroy the friendships she made as a filly. They both risked everything to try to rescue our friends. That is the power of friendship.”

Chrysalis just laughed in my face. “The power to lead you into a trap, you mean. I do have to thank you, Mark Wells. My operation would not have been a complete success without your help. A few ponies escaped my grasp and you thoughtfully brought them to the center of my hive. Well done.”

I refused to let her bait me and just returned her stare levelly.

My lack of a shred of anger or irritation at her remarks wiped the smile off the changeling queen’s face. She narrowed her eyes and her gaze bored into me. “You are not a pony, are you?”

I blinked then smirked. “Well, I look like a duck, walk like a duck, and quack like a duck, so I must be a pony, don't you think?”

She smiled. “You left out ‘think like a duck’ which is something you can't quite do in either form you take, can you?”

I regarded her a bit longer as I considered her words. “The nondescript earth pony that turned into a pegasus back in Ponyville?” Chrysalis said nothing but did not try to deny it. “It seems a bit of a coincidence that it was there at the time.”

I got to see the queen’s fangs again. “Oh, it was no coincidence at all. I had my spies everywhere when Tirek was advancing from Baltimare. I learned of your plans to disable the centaur or have him killed by Zecora’s poisons if you failed. To aid this, I had one of my drones inform Tirek that the princesses were to be found in Ponyville rather than Canterlot. By doing so, he was not bolstered by the magic of the hundreds of ponies who remained. Instead, he marched off to his defeat. By hastening the return of the magic to the little ponies, I saved many lives that day, wouldn't you agree?”

I was genuinely surprised. I thought only Zecora and I knew about the backup plan. The venom of a dozen tiny snails, scrapings from the back of a colorful frog, and a white fungus; all placed on the tips of blow-darts that she thankfully did not need to use. If Tirek had started to drain the town, that would have been Zecora’s cue to emerge from her hiding spot behind him. One way or the other, the centaur would have been dead within twenty-four hours. The changeling queen's intelligence-gathering acumen was beyond what I had imagined.

She continued. “Do not believe I was working for the good of you ponies. Eventually, Tirek would have come for me and my children. He had already drained some of them in Baltimare and the surrounding areas. Unlike ponies, my kind dies instantly when deprived of magic because our power derives from love energy. When all of this is drained, our disguises fail and hearts stop beating. It was only luck, the recall of all drones from Equestria's armed forces, and quick retrieval of the corpses that prevented them from being discovered.”

“And the ponies that had seen the corpses?”

She waved a hoof absently. “They were forced to forget the last day of their lives. I do not waste food without reason.”

I paused as I evaluated my response. Might as well go with it. I looked her directly in the eyes. “That confirms what I first thought about your species. Under your leadership, they could have a symbiotic relationship with ponies. I’ve been to another world where crystal changelings and ponies live in peace together. You and Cadance both married Shining Armor there.”

The changeling queen scoffed. “You lie.”

“Do I?” I turned to a changeling guard nearby. “You! Open my right saddlebag. Pull out the photo in the very front of the compartment.”

After getting a nod from his queen, the drone went to my saddlebags on the floor nearby and retrieved the image of Shining Armor, Cadance, Chryssy, and Peytral in front of the Golden Oak Library. The very happy and healthy Chryssy. The same could be said for her family. When the drone gave the photo to Chrysalis, I had the pleasure of seeing her reel in shock. The hoof holding the picture shook while the other ran through her mane as she apparently tried to compose herself.

“You could have had that same level of happiness and fulfilment if you had chosen differently. But let’s get back to what your changelings are to ponies right now. You are just parasites, aren't you? Do you know the definition of the word? Unable to live without us, you take from your host while returning nothing.”

Chrysalis sneered. “Be careful, Prince.”

I smiled. “It only stings because it's true. What is your plan for when Tirek escapes again? Or the next time a threat comes along that doesn't fall down when you throw your swarm at it? You don't have one, do you? You depend on ponies to protect you from threats because you are incapable of protecting yourself. In other words, you rely on the host creature.”

She snarled as she towered over me. “You are just like all the ponies you claim to serve. You can't see beyond your deluded sense of self-importance.”

“You would know something about that, wouldn't you? You are the reason that the rest of the crystal changelings live in desperation and hunger. Your pride is what keeps you from asking for aid. Your delusion that changelings are superior to all other races is the only thing holding them back from evolving to their full potential. Yet you still cling to the belief that you are the only one able to lead them when the opposite is true. Your changelings are perfectly capable of guiding themselves but you don't allow it.”

She smiled in a way I did not like, looking like a true predator. “Ah, but there is where you are projecting what you know to be true about ponies, aren't you? It is they who cannot function without leaders telling them what to do. I saw the panic in the streets when rumors of the Sisters’ disappearance became a certainty among the common rabble.” She waved a hoof at the cocoons hanging above her throne. “As you can see, I've replaced everypony in a position of authority with my drones. Now all ponies can have the same leader – me. I have already won.”

I matched her smug grin with my best steak-eating carnivorous smile. That made hers slip a bit. “Are you sure?”

She was an emotion-eater, so I let her soak in my confidence for several seconds. She said, “You obviously believe I have overlooked something.”

I shrugged. “Why don't you check in with your drones who are leading the ponies right now? Just so you can tell me how well they are doing.”

The queen frowned at me for a long moment before touching a device hanging around her neck. I heard a buzzing noise come from the mechanism, but nothing else. Chrysalis gave me a hard stare then pressed several places on the object in quick succession. The buzzing continued for perhaps half a minute when it stopped with another jab of her hoof.

I smirked. “I'm guessing they have all been captured or are on the run at this point. They just couldn't prove they knew all the little details of the lives of those they were replacing. I reckon you can't count on ponies being predictable any longer, can you? It's almost like you can't imagine exactly what they will do when they arrive at your hive, isn't it?”

I started to move closer to her but was stopped by the large guard drones that flanked us. “It's not too late. We can help your changelings, but this is your last chance to do so as their leader. Once ponies and changelings start dying again, I won’t be able to stop it, especially if anypony you have trapped here is harmed. No pony will stop until you are dead and resting on a huge pile of corpses of your children. Their lives would be wasted because you did not have the courage to see anything beyond your personal ambitions. Then the surviving crystal changelings will be integrated with ponies and your name and your failure will live in infamy for both races until the end of days.”

For the first time, I saw hesitation in the changelings around me. They looked at each other rather than standing steadfastly with their queen.

Chrysalis moved up to within an inch of my face and hissed. “You are nothing! All ponies will bow to me. My hive will rule them all.”

I turned away from her and walked towards the pods above the throne. “Put me up there with my friends. I might as well await the inevitable there.”

Thorax raised his head proudly and spoke with authority. “No, Mark Wells – this is where it ends. Queen Chrysalis – I challenge you to the right to rule this hive!” He levitated his royal jewelry out of his nearby saddlebags and put them on.

Chrysalis laughed scornfully. “It takes more than evolving into a changeling prince to lead a hive. It takes power, strength, and iron will! You cannot defeat me while I have an entire hive backing my rule.”

A rumble shook the hive, startling Chrysalis. Thorax smiled more confidently. “You’re right, Queen Chrysalis. But I am strong in ways that you may never understand. That’s why I make friends, not capture them and use them.” The short rumbling sound happened again and again at regular intervals, slowly getting louder.

The changelings surrounding us were perturbed and Chrysalis ordered some to investigate the unexpected noise. Chrysalis scowled at Thorax. “Idiot! You’re not worth the risk of keeping you around where you can subvert my subjects. I will take the love that you have gained from your pony princess and use it to conquer all of Equestria.”

“I think not!” Thorax replied with the most confident and commanding tone that I’d ever heard from my friend before. He lowered his horns to fire a magic blast at Chrysalis.

The changeling queen deflected the attack and riposted with one of her own, but Thorax stopped it with a shield as his wings carried him upwards. Chrysalis also took to the air and fired again. They continued to exchange powerful magical blows, neither of them finding their target. Meanwhile, the rumbling shakes grew stronger and the changelings grew more confused. One returned from a tunnel overhead and tried to get the queen’s attention, but Chrysalis was focused on her battle with Thorax. He had closed the distance and was grappling with the Queen. After dishing out more punishment than he took, Thorax almost had control of Chrysalis with a choke hold from behind when she slipped away. A series of horn blasts allowed her to get to a safe distance.

As the fight continued, despite the immense amount of power that he had stored due to the love of an alicorn princess and all his friends, Thorax’s spells began to falter. Chrysalis, on the other hoof, was obviously drawing on reserves from elsewhere. Once again, it seemed that she was taking from what belonged to the entire hive for her own selfish purposes.

Chrysalis laughed. “Where’s your power now, Thorax?”

Just then, part of the roof and wall shattered, raining down resin and stone. Three enormous steel blades lined up in a row poked through high on one wall, shortly followed by another three perhaps twenty meters further away. Thorax smiled.

“My power is in my friends. That leads to alliances. While some of those allies are capturing your infiltrators, others have come to join me in my fight against your tyranny!” While he had been talking, the blades had withdrawn to reappear further down the wall, making two lines of wide punctures in the resin. Two more lines were quickly punched through along the top and bottom, creating a huge square of damaged wall. Metal encased claw tips burst through the punctures on either side, flexed inward, and pulled the entire section of the hive away, revealing the sky outside.

A huge dragon head poked through the hole in the hive, totally oblivious to the attacks on him made by the changelings. The dragon smiled. “There you are, little ponies. I love these clever gauntlets you made for me! There are a couple of dragons I’ll use them on when I get home!”

“About time you got here, Torch!” I called out, noticing he was wearing a vest of some sort. Standing on his back were a couple of nocturne ponies using projectile weapons to battle the flying changelings.

“Stupid anti-magic field slowed us down,” he rumbled.

I pointed with a hoof. “Destroy Chrysalis’ throne! It’s the source of the field!”

Chrysalis screamed, “NO! Protect the throne at all costs!” She turned her attention away from Thorax, but he had been anticipating the gigantic dragon’s arrival and wasn’t distracted. He took full advantage of the situation and renewed his attack on the Queen, scoring a direct hit at the base of one of her wings. She screamed and lost altitude quickly.

Meanwhile, Torch tried to pull his head back out of the hole, but his massive horns caught on the remaining portions of the wall. He frowned and wrenched his head backward, tearing out yet another large section. Then he reached in with a massive arm and smashed the throne with one enormous hive-shaking blow.

I immediately felt my wings come alive with magic again. Amidst the chaos, I transformed into pegacorn form and flew up to the cocoons. I started cutting them open, releasing their occupants and lowering them to the floor by levitation while fighting off the occasional changeling trying to stop me. Suddenly, I was surrounded by batponies running interference and protecting the area of the floor where I was placing the freed ponies.

From my right, I heard, “Keep going, sir!” I only had a brief glimpse of Major Dusky Wings before he seemed to disappear then reappear behind a changeling headed for me. That let me concentrate on just getting my friends out of their prisons.

The tide of the battle turned as dozens of dragons, griffons, and pegasi poured into the opening made by Torch after having flown from where they were waiting outside the influence of the anti-magic field while the behemoth lumbered to the hive. These were quickly followed by unicorns and earth ponies arriving by levitation and the occasional teleport. Resin balls spat by the changelings would not stick to the Equestrian armor, and dragons caught in the stuff were quickly freed to rejoin the fight. Many of the Equestrian force wore a multi-colored flashing light, designating them as a friendly. It could be duplicated with changeling magic, but only after having time to observe the sequence of colors used – time that the crystal changelings did not have. With this as a guide, spells that incapacitated groups of changelings were directed at combatants that otherwise looked like allies. As Chrysalis’ support disappeared, more ponies joined Thorax, first of whom was Twilight who bolstered him with her love. As more of his friends joined her, his attacks on Chrysalis grew stronger. The changeling horde protecting their queen was whittled away until a powerful blast from Thorax broke through Chrysalis’ shield and impacted the side of her head. She collapsed with a scream of pain and went limp.

Thorax raised his head and announced in a voice augmented by Twilight’s magic, “Chrysalis is defeated. I declare that I, King Thorax, am now the leader of the Crystal Hive. All fighting must cease!”

The changelings immediately stopped their assault, conditioned to respond unhesitatingly to their ruler. With the cessation of hostilities, our allies also cautiously ceased their attacks.

I flew down to join Thorax and the others, switching back to my normal form, uncaring that I had been seen by so many as Marklestia. Perhaps things would change for me because of today’s events, but I had known that it would happen inevitably one day. It had never been my intention to keep my secret forever, only preserving it for its surprise value. Between the inhabitants of Ponyville and Seaquestria, plus Chrysalis’ spying, that secret had been getting a little thin anyway.

As Royal Guards snapped two nullstone horn-rings onto Chrysalis and manacled her limbs, I suddenly realized that we hadn’t made plans for after winning the battle. “What happens now?”

The changelings were milling about uncertainly, suddenly directionless after so long under Chrysalis’ rule. A slightly mocking voice came from among them.

“Typical. You finally get a spine but you still don’t think ahead.”

Thorax blinked in surprise and looked toward where one slightly larger than average changeling was pushing himself through the crowd. “Pharynx?”

The changeling marched right up to the new ruler of the hive, ignoring Twilight and Penumbra’s attempts to push him back. “So, you’re a King now? I knew if I kicked your butt often enough, you’d finally make something of yourself. Never would have guessed it would be this, but you have a long way to go before you can replace what Chrysalis meant for the Crystal Hive. The pony has it right – what are you going to do now, little brother?”

Brother? Now that was an interesting twist. I was intrigued to see where this was going. So far, it seemed that Pharynx was the practical sort.

Thorax seemed to firm his stance. “All hostile actions against ponies and their allies must stop immediately.”

“Better take Chrysalis’ communication device then,” Pharynx suggested.

“You take it, Pharynx. You were Chrysalis’ general, so I can’t see why you can’t be mine too if you accept my rule.”

His brother smiled. “My only desire is to protect the hive. If you can do that, I will follow you, King Thorax. Don’t disappoint me.”

“I’ll try not to, Pharynx. With the help of my friends, I intend to remake this hive into something much greater.”

Pharynx shook his head and smiled ruefully. “Friends with ponies, griffons, and dragons… what have we come to?” He walked over to where the unconscious Chrysalis was being held and removed the pendant from her neck and placed it around his own. Just as the former Queen had done, Pharynx pressed a series of locations on the device as he walked away.

I chose to trust Thorax’s judgement with regards to his brother’s loyalty to him and turned back to the problem at hoof. The dragons had already withdrawn and some pegasi, thestrals, and griffons had retreated to watchful perches. The changelings waited for orders. “You surely have some idea of what you want to do, don’t you? After all, taking over from Chrysalis was your eventual goal.”

Thorax nodded. “Yes, although this happened a lot sooner than I anticipated. I’m going to need a lot of help, and I want Twilight to be by my side while I reorganize the hive. Can you and Princess Trixie handle the royal duties without her for a while?”

I looked at my wife who nodded and gave me a wink. I replied, “I don’t know if we can spare her at the moment. We have a lot of cleaning up to do in the wake of this attempt to overthrow Equestria.”

Thorax looked disappointed. “I suppose you’re right, Mark.”

“On the other hoof,” I continued, “we couldn’t very well keep a wife away from her husband, could we?”

“What?!” Twilight and Thorax chorused.

Trixie said, “Nark Cells and I have had enough of your excuses, Twilight Sparkle. Everypony knows how you two feel about each other, so formalize it. Now seems to be a good time.”

Twilight stared at her aghast. “What? Right here, right now?”

“Trixie will throw you a big formal ceremony at a later date. You have just one choice – do you want Trixie or her husband to perform the ceremony?”

“Oh, no no no no no! I don’t think so.” Princess Cadance walked up, one foreleg cradling Flurry Heart. “I missed out on performing the last Royal Wedding. Nothing short of a natural disaster will prevent me from officiating this one.”

Flurry Heart stretched and yawned in her mother’s grasp. My stomach felt like it dropped to my hooves when I saw she was not wearing her magic-regulating mane clip. The foal looked around curiously at the scene around her: ponies, changelings, griffons, and the wreckage of a battlefield complete with a gigantic dragon head poking in from the outside, jesting with a hovering batpony. Apparently unimpressed, the foal curled up again and snuggled up against her mother.

Shining Armor came up next to his wife. “I can take her for you, dear.”

Before she could answer, I said, “If she’s happy like that, let’s just let the adorable natural disaster sleep until you can get a hair clip on her again.”

Shining Armor looked at his daughter and blanched. “Umm… Yeah. Good idea.”

“Would you perform the ceremony, Princess Cadance?” Thorax asked.

Smart bug. My wife would have been miffed if I’d been chosen. Suited me anyway.

The pink alicorn smiled. “Given the circumstances, I will keep this short. Stand beside her, please.”

Twilight and Thorax hastily took their positions. I saw the rest of the Element Bearers come close. Every changeling in the chamber turned to face their new king and soon-to-be queen. Discord was sobbing uncontrollably, even with Fluttershy patting his arm. He didn’t act this way at my wedding. I’d have to ask him why another time.

“Prince Thorax, do you love this mare and will you forevermore?”

“I do.”

“Princess Twilight, do you love this stallion and will you for all your years?”

“Yes, with all my heart.”

“Before these witnesses of ponies, griffons, and changelings, and by my authority as Princess of the Crystal Empire and Alicorn of Love, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss, and make it a good one because you’re not going to have time to do much else besides work for the next few days.”

They took Cadance’s advice and snogged long and passionately. They got a few catcalls from the griffons and snickers from the mares. A changeling beside me sighed and said, “King of the hive for five minutes and he turns everything upside down.”

I turned and recognized Pharynx. “What are you talking about?”

He gave me a grumpy look. “By marrying her, Twilight Sparkle is now Queen of the Crystal Hive. She now has as much authority as Thorax – more in certain cases.”

“More? Why?”

He looked at me as if I was daft. “Because she’s the new Hive Mother.”

“But changelings and ponies can’t interbreed.”

He stared at me for a long moment before laughing uproariously. Shaking his head, he walked away, still chuckling. Glad I gave him a laugh. He couldn’t seriously mean what I thought he meant though, could he?

“He seems like a fun guy,” Penny commented. I hadn’t even noticed her taking her place by me.

“Yeah. We’ll be dealing with him a bit more in the future because of his position in the hive. I truly hope Thorax’s faith in him isn’t misplaced.”

“My gut tells me he’ll be fine. Might not like what he has to say sometimes, but he has the hive’s interests at heart, and right now, his brother is the hive as far as he’s concerned.”

“You’re probably right. Let’s go congratulate the newlyweds.”

We joined the others in giving Twilight and Thorax our best wishes for their future together. Twilight blushed furiously, but she was smiling all the time. Her husband seemed a little overwhelmed by it all. Cadance hugged the stuffing out of her sister-in-law while Shining was somewhat bemused.

While we were chatting, a small and very young changeling child came up to our group in the company of a female drone. It was unusual in that it had a multi-tone blue mane instead of the ubiquitous frill. The foal tapped on Shining Armor’s leg to get his attention. When the stallion looked down at the child, the changeling gave him a fang-filled yet innocent smile.

“Mommy says that you’re my daddy.”

Conversation immediately ground to a halt and everypony stared at the young changeling with a mane matching Shining’s. Now, I had only heard about how Cadance had been replaced by Chrysalis before the wedding, but even I immediately thought about pre-marital sex which was quite common in this society. And if Chrysalis had kept up the pretense to that point…

The implications were not lost on the stallion as he stared at what was almost certainly his son. We’d never asked Chryssy from the alternate world how she and Shiny had children, but if a pony stallion could impregnate a changeling queen without some sort of compatibility spell, then could a changeling prince and now king do the same for an alicorn mare?

Twilight had gone pale and she gulped. “Guys? You know how I’ve been feeling a bit unwell these past several days? I… I think… it might be morning sickness.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

It's all about the foals!

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 57 - Rewards and Revelations

Everypony just stared and gaped at those at the center of this shocking turn of events. Shocking as in unexpected, not awful, at least according to my sensibilities. After all, I had already met a Shining Armor who had not one but several changeling children. In the meantime, this Shining Armor looked around wildly and motioned for his wife to come over to him. I found it amusing to discover that my Prince Armor was in all likelihood also a sire to a changeling, and damned if he wasn’t cute. Still, it didn’t hurt to get a second opinion.

Moon Dancer, now back in her unicorn disguise, had taken refuge between Penny and me in order to avoid contact with any changelings and further betraying her true nature. I quietly asked her, “What do you think?”

“Shining Armor is definitely the sire. I imagine that Chrysalis planned to use the child against the Prince somehow. Judging by the cheerful demeanor, I’d say that the Queen has kept the foal aside from its peers to give him special schooling and treatment. Prince Armor is lucky that his son hasn’t been indoctrinated against him as yet because he’s a little too young.”

“That’s if Shining accepts the foal,” I pointed out. “The circumstances are enormously different from the alternate world’s had been.”

“What makes you think the decision will be his?” She pointed to Cadance who was now approaching the child.

The pink mare crouched down and asked, “What is your name, youngling?”

“Shiny Button, Miss.”

The princess smiled. “That’s a very nice name. You look a lot like your dad.”

“I can look even more like him,” he replied excitedly. “Wanna see?”

“Of course.”

Shiny Button’s form lit with magic fire and soon we were looking at a colt with a pale blue coat and eyes matching Shining Armor’s. At this point, it was impossible not to see the family resemblance, although realistically, I had to admit that it could be disregarded due to changeling shapeshifting ability. My instincts and experience said otherwise however, and with Moon Dancer backing me up, I was certain that I was looking at the stallion’s love child. There just remained one potential sticking point.

“How do you feel about this, Cadance?” I asked.

She looked up at me and smiled. “I forgave my husband for everything that he did with Chrysalis long ago. He was not culpable for anything that happened, and that includes this colt. While I’ll never forgive Chrysalis for what she did to Shining, what kind of Alicorn of Love would I be if I blamed him or this child for something that she did?” Cadance turned and held out her forehooves to Shiny Button. “I’m going to be your new mother. Can you give me a hug?”

The colt’s smile grew even brighter and he rushed into the alicorn’s embrace, drinking in the love that she was projecting for him.

I saw Shining Armor wipe his brow with relief. I suppose that having been a parent for a while now, at least he wouldn’t be going into this stone cold. Maybe Twilight and I could get in contact with Chryssy about getting tips on raising changeling foals later. Speaking of Twilight though, could we be dealing with another potential bun in the oven?

I noticed that Thorax had gone to his new wife and they were quietly talking to each other. I only managed to catch a word or two, but it wasn’t hard to figure out what they were discussing. Whatever it was, they ended up embracing and kissing. I figured that she was in good hooves and would deal with the situation. And if not, we’d be there to help her.

I turned to Trixie and said, “Looks like we’ll soon be the only royals without foals.”

She gave me a strange look. “As far as you know, Pressmark Harebells.”

Wait. What?! “Trixie – are you saying…”

She just smiled and walked off towards Thorax and Twilight to congratulate them.

“But… but how?” I muttered.

“By sexual intercourse,” Moon Dancer replied sarcastically.

“But I was stuck as a mare during the Season!” I objected.

“And what about immediately before?”

“Trixie insisted on making love while we still had the opportunity.”

“It is a biological fact that semen remains viable for up to five days. While her best bet to conceive would have been during the Season, she still had a very good chance of being impregnated by having sex immediately beforehand. Congratulations – you’re going to be a father.”

I sat down hard on my rump, dazed by the revelation. While I had entertained the idea of siring a foal, I hadn’t planned on doing so for some time as yet; therefore, I was unprepared for the news. Trixie had obviously planned this though. I remembered back to when I was asked when I intended to have foals and I had replied, ‘When Trixie decides’. Apparently, she had. Now it seemed that the only questions that remained were – would Twilight or Trixie give birth first? And who would be the only Triarch left to run the kingdom while they were busy being new moms? I felt a huge headache coming on.

While I was pondering all this, General Crushing Blow came up to me. The massive earth pony was a full head taller than the rest of us, making her instantly recognizable despite the anonymizing effects of the Royal Guard armor. Her size masked a keen strategic intellect that catapulted the mare into her position as the new leader of the Equestrian armed forces. “Sire, what are your orders?”

Glad of the distraction, I brought my attention back to the matter at hoof. “Has the situation been secured, General?”

“Yes, Your Highness. The changelings are fully cooperating with King Thorax’s orders and are even helping with the injured.”

“Any deaths?” I asked with some trepidation.

“No, Sire. All pony casualties are confirmed as non-life threatening. I spoke with one of the medical drones and the preliminary assessment of changelings showed the same. Our preparations for this day were excellent and we were able to execute this operation in an optimal fashion.”

“Well done, General. Pass on our thanks to our allies and prepare to withdraw.”

“What about the hive?”

“As agreed to by treaties signed by King Thorax and the Equestrian Triarchy, the hive and its immediate environs are to be considered a territory independent of but allied with Equestria. While we can offer our help, this is now Thorax’s responsibility. And Twilight’s too, I suppose, now that they’re married. I think that with her help, Thorax will cope.”

“And the security of Equestria?” the general asked, sounding not quite convinced.

I gave her my most assured smile. “Sometimes, you have to take something on faith, General. I believe in Thorax and I suggest that you do too. With his new title of Prince Consort, he is even more committed to the defense of Equestria even if he does not have any political power there. I reckon that you should coordinate with his brother, Pharynx, on security matters. We don’t want any misunderstandings happening such as what got your predecessor forcibly retired.”

I let that threat hang although I didn’t believe that it would come about. We had selected Crushing Blow for the position not only for her military acumen, but also for her unusual store of hard common sense.

The mare snapped to attention and saluted. “Yes, Sire!” She spun around and marched off to do as she had been ordered.

“Nice show of command,” Penny said with a grin.

“We haven’t gone to all this effort to let things slide back to the way they used to be,” I replied. “If I’m fated to be a Prince of Equestria, then I’ll be the best ruler that a former I.T. expert can be.”

Trixie narrowed her eyes. “You still haven’t explained to Trixie what precisely that means… to Trixie’s satisfaction.”

I smirked. “I understand being a stallion of mystery is highly appealing to mares.” I got the eye-roll and smile I had been looking for. “Now, let’s get everypony home, shall we?”

That was easier said than done. The sight of somepony her size had brought Flurry Heart to full alert. She had managed to squirm free from her mother’s grasp and was now playing a fast-paced game of tag with Shiny Button that careened all over the throne room and even some of the airspace above it. Cadance and her husband were frantically trying to corral them once more along with one of the changelings whom I guessed was Button’s nanny. Matters weren’t helped any when Nyx decided that she wanted in on the fun too. And to think – I was going to have one of those little terrors too someday. I shuddered before putting on my best smile for my wife.

“Let’s go, Lulu. We have a lot to talk about.”

There were plenty of citations and awards to go around after the successful raid on the Crystal Hive; however, only five individuals earned the Pink Heart of Courage. After discussing the matter with my fellow royals, we decided a large-scale public celebration would be detrimental to integrating crystal changelings into Equestrian society. Many ponies would be willing to shake hooves with a fallen enemy, but some would not be as magnanimous. Those feelings of intolerance would be strengthened by a celebration of Chrysalis’ and by extension the Crystal Hive’s downfall.

To counteract this, the Royal Court provided the newspapers with as many examples as feasible of infiltrators whose alternate identities provided care for other ponies. A report that ‘a common crystal changeling drone named Timpani’ aided the rescue mission and Twilight’s upcoming public wedding ceremony to Thorax also helped break down the prejudice.

I proposed a private ceremony to the five recipients before Day Court commenced and they all heartily agreed. Three days after the rescue operation, the five soldiers lined up in front of Trixie and myself in the Canterlot throne room. Twilight and Thorax were still at the Crystal Hive, too busy to send more than status reports and the occasional request for needed supplies. Cadance and Shining Armor had returned to the Crystal Empire on the first available train along with their new son and his nanny. Ah, well. The two remaining royals decked out in their finest accouterments would have to do.

I had suggested to my wife that I bestow the medals and speak with each of the recipients. She agreed, informing me that I needed the practice. Absolutely not about foisting another royal duty on me, was it, dear? Sure it wasn’t.

I started with the non-pony in our midst… or at least the only one that wasn’t disguised. Even I did not have a full listing of who was and was not a red changeling in the Equestrian Army. The Triarchs’ agreement with Queen Carpacia meant we would not pursue that information either, and I wasn’t about to upset our alliance that had performed so brilliantly.

Princess Tarsalia had led the red changeling force that was not integrated with the Equestrian military. They had provided critical air cover to allow our forces to approach during the time Torch was running to the hive and breaking through its outer wall. I took the ribbon and pendant levitated to me by Trixie and carefully draped it over her head and onto her neck. While the butterfly-shaped ruby at the center of the pendant shone brightly, it was overwhelmed by the mirror-like polish on the changeling’s chitin. “On behalf of all of Equestria, the Triarchy thanks you and all red changelings who stood with Equestria to defeat Chrysalis.”

The red hive princess shot off a sharp salute. “It was our duty and pleasure, sir.”

I smiled. “At ease, soldier. Please relay to Queen Carpacia our thanks. Also, tell her acceptance of red changelings is at unprecedented levels. I understand undisguised drones can’t patrol the streets right now because they keep getting embraced by dozens of ponies doing what they can to show their appreciation.”

She shifted a bit on her hooves. “Ahh… that’s true, Your Highness. Overfeeding has been a problem as of late.”

I patted her on the shoulder. “I’m sure everything will calm down eventually. Better than the opposite problem of being shunned.”

“Yes, sir. The median where red changelings are accepted and treated like any other pony would be ideal.”

“Your actions and those of your troops have brought that day much closer. Thank you, Princess.”

She saluted again. “Sir!” Couldn’t stay at ease for more than a minute. Ah, well.

Next came General Crushing Blow. She bowed her neck until it was level with her body and I still struggled a bit to get the ribbon down to her withers.

After she straightened up, I gave her a salute which she returned. “Crushing Blow. This operation was a success in large part because of the discipline you drilled into our troops, the training you ensured they received, and outstanding execution of the battle plan you led, all under tight time constraints. Well done, General.”

She lowered her hoof after I dropped mine. “Thank you, Your Highness. Our success was the result of the combined effort of thousands of ponies and members of other races. I am proud to wear this medal for them and will think of their accomplishments whenever I see it in the future.”

Next was a familiar bat-pony who fidgeted slightly under the glare of reflected sunlight. After I had bestowed his medal, we traded salutes. “Major Dusky Wings. You led the Night Guard Special Task Force to vet the key personnel for the operation in under an hour. During the raid, your force provided security for Torch from the swarms of changelings trying to disrupt his efforts. In addition, your team’s cover allowed me to free the captives which helped turn the tide of the battle. I am proud to award you with a well-deserved promotion for your efforts. Congratulations, Lt. Colonel.” I held out a hoof.

He took mine and shook it. “Thank you, Your Highness. And thank you for making this a private ceremony.”

“Don’t want it getting out that you do your best work in the daylight, I take it? I’ll try to set the time for the next Equestria-saving battle to be at midnight,” I joked.

“I would appreciate it, sir.”

Ah well. So much for testing his sense of humor.

Next came Colonel Double Geode of the Crystal Empire Guard. After giving her the award, I said, “Colonel, your quick and decisive actions resulted in the capture of the three changeling imposters and maintained calm and order among the crystal ponies. Congratulations.” Because the crystal pony, like Princess Tarsalia, was not under my direct command, we could not exchange salutes.

The mare bowed her head respectfully. “On behalf of the Crystal Empire, please allow me to reaffirm our commitment to stand with Equestria in her times of need.”

“And I reaffirm Equestria’s pledge to protect the Crystal Empire from all threats.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

The last recipient was a very familiar dark-red stallion who stood impassively at attention.

I smiled. “Crimson Boulder. This entire operation had one linchpin and that was you. It was your responsibility to interrogate the first key personnel to establish they were not replaced by Chrysalis’ drones. Further, you passed the information I sent to only those with a need-to-know. You also coordinated the use of the teleportation portals to retrieve troops and allies. The result was the largest and fastest movement of Equestrian troops in the history of warfare. For all these reasons, the Triarchs of Equestria are promoting you. Our hope is that your new rank is the beginning of the next chapter in your military career where you can fully realize your potential. Congratulations, Lieutenant Crimson Boulder.”

I snapped off my best salute which he returned automatically despite the shocked expression on his face. I lowered my hoof, but the dazed stallion didn’t follow suit, instead just staring ahead with a glazed look in his eyes. Dusky Wings came up to clap him on the back with his wing… rather hard. “Well done, soldier. I rose up through the non-com ranks myself before becoming an officer. I assure you that the rumors about requiring two holes in the front of your skull to attend officer school are largely unfounded.”

That seemed to break Crimson out of his trance. “Oh… Ah… Thank you, Your Highness. I’ll have to get used to the idea of my being a Lieutenant now.” Then more quietly. “Never in my wildest dreams…” The bat-pony grinned as he returned to his previous spot.

I chuckled as I trotted back up to my wife’s side. I did my part.

Now it was her turn. “Changeling, mares, and stallions. The greatest threat to our country has now been neutralized and a new, powerful ally stands with all of us. You five more than any other soldiers are responsible for that success.” Trixie gave them a salute which each and every one returned immediately. Thinking back, I couldn’t recall a single time when Trixie had saluted anypony, either on her own accord or in response to another’s salute.

After lowering her hoof, she nodded. “Dismissed.”

The five started talking among each other as they walked out of the throne room in a group. I suspected a drink was in their immediate future as all had been given the day off from official duties.

I turned around to face the mares on the dais. Besides my wife, there was Starlight Glimmer and Moon Dancer who had elected to stay in Canterlot for more Royal Advisor training with Raven, who was also with us.

I said, “Moon Dancer, you also were critical to the success of the mission. If you would have allowed it, you would also be getting the same medal.”

The unicorn mare shook her head emphatically. “No… no, thank you, Your Highness. I… I might want to return there someday, but for now, I want to keep some distance away from my former life.” Although I’m sure Twilight would have preferred to have Moon Dancer’s help in the ongoing transformation of the Crystal Hive, the Princess had allowed her assistant to stay in Canterlot as her go-between and surrogate.

Trixie said, “Regardless, we shall not allow your contributions to go unrewarded. Trixie and her husband have decreed that your probationary period as Royal Advisor is over. Additionally, you have been promoted two levels to an E-5 pay-grade. Congratulations.”

The mare bowed deeply. “Thank you, Princess. I’ll keep working hard, I swear.”

I said, “We know you will, Moon Dancer.” I then turned to Starlight Glimmer. “Starlight, your bravery and commitment were also exemplary. After discussing the matter with my wife, we have decided that your probationary period is also over, but for you, it relates to your crimes against Equestria. We know that you have a great future ahead of you.”

Starlight also bowed and came up grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you both. And thank you for believing in me when neither of you had to.”

Trixie said, “In addition, we are likewise promoting you to the E-5 pay grade as is fitting for your station.”

The pink mare smiled more openly and looked at Raven. “Well, I don’t know if I can accept. I don’t want Raven getting jealous about the newbies jumping up to the same pay grade as herself.”

Raven lifted one eyebrow and looked down her muzzle at Starlight. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that.”

“And why is that?”

Raven smirked. “You’d have to get another half-dozen double-bumps in your pay grade before you got to mine.”

That made Starlight gape. “You’re an E-17?! But General Crushing Blow is an E-12! The Council of Mages are E-14s!”

“Well, I don’t like to brag, but you did ask.”

My wife spoke up. “Then Trixie will brag for you. After all, it is something Trixie is supremely good at.” She turned to Starlight and smiled. “Fifteen years at the most important civil position in the government: The Right Hoof of Celestia then Great and Powerful Trixie. Essential to the smooth governance of Equestria. Thought of highly by all who come in contact with her. All three rulers have Raven to thank for training them how Equestria can be governed. Is it any wonder why her name always comes up first when it is time for merit promotions?”

Starlight stammered. “I… well… when you put it that way, it makes sense. I guess I just didn’t expect that because Raven is always so low-key. Frankly, I suppose I didn’t have faith that the Equestrian government acknowledged her true value.”

Trixie waved a hoof. “Put those fears to rest. Her worth is recognized and rewarded.”

I frowned as I considered the larger picture for a moment. Raven's salary was just an afterthought compared to the price Equestria agreed to for Torch's help against the Crystal Hive.

In the intervening silence, I decided to bring up another matter. “Well, then. I suppose the last order of business is… who’s next?”

All of the mares cocked their heads to the side slightly and gave me the exact same puzzled look. I fought hard to keep from busting out laughing. My wife asked, “What do you mean, Embark Bluebells?”

“Do I need to spell it out? I think you all know what’s happening right now.” I waved a hoof at my wife. “First we find out Trixie is pregnant, then Twilight announces the same, and since Chrysalis was defeated, the newspapers are reporting that many mares feel secure enough to start a family.”

I then pointed to Starlight, Moon Dancer, and Raven in turn. “My powers of deduction lead me to conclude that there is something in the air. It’s not a matter of if one of you will be with foal soon, it’s a matter of when.” I ignored the narrowed eyes and tight-lipped frowns now directed my way. I raised an eyebrow and stared skeptically at each displeased Royal Advisor in turn. “So… which one of you is it going to be?”

Trixie broke the silence. “Dowser, you are the best kind of idiot.”

I smiled and kissed her. “The only kind of idiot I know how to be.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “On that note, you still have to make preparations before visiting our Royal Guest downstairs.”

“Ah, thank you for the reminder, E-5 no-longer-probationary Royal Advisor Starlight Glimmer.” I used that as a new excuse to kiss my wife. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

As I trotted out of the throne room, Penumbra pulled up alongside me. “I thought you knew better than to annoy four mares at once.”

I grinned. “Nope. You must be thinking about a different Mark Wells.”

“Apparently so. What exactly were you thinking, anyway?”

I decided to come clean. “Honestly? One of the most important responsibilities I have is to find common ground between Trixie and Twilight. Personalities that are about as different as any two mares can have. Just now, I didn’t mind playing the fool to allow all four of the mares to bond over laughing at my antics.”

Penny leaned closer and her grin made me uncomfortable. “Well, next time, I recommend not implying that you are offering yourself as the stud male to provide each or all of them with a foal.”

I stopped in my tracks. “WHAT?!”

The bat-pony chuckled at my response. “Oh, yes. The implication was quite clear. The Royal Advisors will remember the day when Prince Mark Wells asked each when they would be pregnant. While it is traditional for the mare to do the asking, a stallion is allowed to express his willingness to serve as stud. Pretty straightforward, wouldn’t you agree?”

My mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Finally, I sighed and trotted faster down the hallway. “Come on, Penny. I suddenly find myself looking forward to talking with Queen Chrysalis.”

I sat down at the stone table opposite Prisoner Q1. She glared at me with enough venom to kill any cobra. The two guards flanking her did not take their eyes off of her for a moment. I was sure the same could be said for my personal bodyguard and the two guards standing just behind me on either side. The concrete and brick room was largely featureless: four recessed light panels in the ceiling and a steel-reinforced door behind the prisoner and myself. The table stretched from wall to wall, effectively dividing the room in half. Five immovable concrete chairs were on my side while the prisoner’s side had just the one.

Undeterred by her attitude, I gave her a beaming smile. “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Your Majesty.”

Chrysalis snorted, “I’m not going to deign to answer that.”

I continued smiling. “Ah, so you are in a talkative mood today. Looks like I won’t be buying the drinks tonight. You see, Sergeant Penumbra here bet that you wouldn’t say a single word. However, to be completely honest, I kind of rigged the game. Only leaving you the most recent Daring Do book to read. The one with the shape-changing enemies, that is. Doubtless, you refused to read it and are now starved for any social contact. Or am I mistaken? Did you read it out of boredom? Or desire to study your prey? Did you actually ‘deign’ to enjoy it?”

Chrysalis had stared at me the entire time. As I sat patiently, a predatory smile slowly crept onto her face. “You are out of your depth, colt. Do not attempt to manipulate me.”

I kept the same pose as I continued to wait. She drummed the table with a forehoof. “Still, you mix truth, lies, and half-truths admirably. You would have made a fine infiltrator.”

Interesting. Also unexpected. Might as well segue to the topic I came here to discuss. “While we are on that subject, I’d like to bring up a related one— your favorite food.”

The changeling queen perked her ears for a moment before they swiveled back to their original place. “Ah. You are talking about ponies and their emotions.”

“Correct. I would very much appreciate your perspective on some aspects of pony-changeling relations that I find confusing.”

“All caused by your inability to think like a true pony.” She leaned forward. “So why is that exactly? Perhaps you were originally a griffon or the result of some experiment by Princess Sparkle?” Chrysalis’ eyes bore into me and I was certain her emotion-sensing awareness was turned up to its maximum. Because emotion-gathering was innate to all changelings, the two nullstone bands on her horn could not dampen that ability. And we had seen no need to drug the queen to deprive of her of this faculty… yet. And, as there were never less than three watchdogs on alert in the dungeon, if Chrysalis tried to drain a guard, the others would soon make her see the error of her ways.

I had to chuckle at her hypothesis. “A failed experiment, you mean.” Both Trixie and Twilight were going to get a big laugh when I retold that shot in the dark.

Chrysalis leaned back slowly, regarding me all the while. “Perhaps a truth for a truth, then?”

I didn’t think so. “How about I’ll continue to allow you to speculate and you answer my questions as you see fit... assuming you don’t have any other pressing engagements?”

“Why don’t you ask your pet queen Carpacia? I’m sure she would provide you with whatever answers would make her master the happiest.”

“Because I don’t trust her to answer me honestly.”

“Yet you have either already asked these questions of her or plan to do so in the near future.”

I didn’t try to deny it, instead just waiting for her decision. The silence stretched out longer this time, but I didn’t have to move or say anything more. This was a voluntary discussion and she could quit it any time she wished.

Finally, she waved a hoof. “Very well. You may ask.”

I nodded with a hint of gratitude. “So as I understand it, changelings have lived among ponies for at least 1800 years, using what ponies would term both ethical and unethical means to gather love.”

She nodded slightly, which I took as a good sign. She was involved with the conversation.

I continued. “An example of an ‘ethical’ method would be creating a brand new personality and integrating into pony society. Whether as a member of a community or an itinerant pony. I suppose there should be a ‘quasi-ethical’ category for changelings that find a pony dying or dead and take their place, stepping into their lives. The morals there are entirely subjective.”

No comment came from the changeling queen, but I hadn’t expected one since I had not asked a question. I put both forehooves on the table. “Now let’s get to the interesting bit. A changeling captures a lone pony or group of ponies, puts them in cocoons, hangs them upside down in their hive, and they never leave. Are you telling me that no general alarm is raised? That the pony-powers-that-be don’t notice that individuals and groups just disappear?”

Chrysalis shrugged. “This is not done carelessly, as you imply. The practice dates back to before the hives split. Do not believe that no hive besides my own did this. Every hive will do what is necessary to survive in lean times, though others may release the amnesiac ponies when prosperity returns. Permanent encasement is a last resort because of the risk of raising just such an alarm. There is a folk tale of a careless queen who abducted the daughter of a pony warlord before the time of the Two Sisters. The warlord proceeded to slaughter all the food for miles around in an attempt to exact revenge on anything that might have killed her, whether pony or beast.”

“No – changelings have to be cautious. Signs are left to explain their absence, whether a hoof-scrawled note describing a trip or carefully placed marks and scents for manticore, hydra, or other threat. The thirteen ponies you stole... excuse me... freed from my hive were far less than what the hive needed but as many as I was willing to dare.”

I nodded. “Another thing puzzles me—”

She interrupted. “Ah, but first I get my question regarding your lack of coordination and terrible flying ability after you first appeared. You also completely lack a herd mentality. You weren’t born a pony, were you? Perhaps a minotaur?”

I felt a slight pang of anxiety, which I knew Chrysalis detected when her grin widened. Even though I didn’t say I would answer her questions, the changeling queen was more than capable of inferring answers from my emotional responses.

I forced myself to smile. “So, you asked two questions. My turn. There must have been dozens of times a changeling has been revealed in their true from over the centuries. Add to that the inability of changelings to teleport—”

“Who told you…” Chrysalis snapped her mouth closed before completing the question.

Still, my curiosity was piqued. “Would you care to elaborate?”

Chrysalis sighed and her eyes defocused as she looked off to the side. “Mastering unicorn magic to the point that a changeling can teleport is extremely rare. The last one to do so in my hive was over two hundred years ago. Resplendent Scroll worked her way up from pony elementary school through Celestia's unicorn school to become leader of the Council of Mages. Those days were the zenith of the Crystal Hive’s prosperity. She even got a full state funeral with a tearful eulogy from Celestia upon her passing.” The Queen’s wistful smile changed to a frown and she turned to look me in the eyes. “I had hoped Timpani would be the next to do so. Her loss forced me to scrap my plans completely and start over. Your second question.”

I stared at the table as I considered. Did Carpacia lie to me about changelings and teleportation? Or had her hive never produced that kind of prodigy? Regardless, I’d never get her to admit she had lied to me, so I’d have to settle for her original answer.

I looked up again. “It seems incredible to me that changelings haven’t been discovered before now. It’s not possible to learn every quirk of the pony you are trying to replace. To say nothing of the ignorance they have of the life their target shared with others. The same problem happens to a lesser extent for infiltrators trying to establish a new identity. They are ignorant of current events and thousands of trivial details of daily pony life that anypony would be expected to know. Add to that, changeling disguises fail on occasion. I could see the infrequent claim of encountering a nightmare creature being laughed off as the result of a bad batch of moonshine, but this must have happened hundreds or even thousands of times through the centuries. No offense, but you’re likely the most accomplished changeling infiltrator alive but I’m told that your portrayal of Cadance was abysmal.” The changeling queen scowled but said nothing. I narrowed my eyes. “So how, exactly, have changelings remained undiscovered until recently?”

Chrysalis fidgeted a bit and looked down at her forehooves. “Well… umm… aside from minimizing high-risk operations such as replacing a living pony, changelings rely on… certain aspects of pony behavior.”

I waited, leaning back in my chair with forelimbs across my chest.

“You see… ponies will accept pretty much any excuse to avoid facing something that would upset their world view, despite all evidence to the contrary. On more than one occasion, exposed drones have received sympathy for their terrible skin condition, been treated like a lost pet, hailed as the next great magic act, or just ignored until they went away. The go-to phrase that every infiltrator learns is ‘Sorry about my appearance. I’m a bat-pony with mange.’.” She raised her forehooves and gave me an almost apologetic smile. “Works almost every time!”

I stared at the changeling queen. With what I had learned about ponies, I found this disturbingly plausible. “So you’re telling me that the average pony just… isn’t all that bright.”

Chrysalis pursed her lips for a second. “… yeah.”

That squared with how Trixie ended up as ruler of Equestria. We sat in silence for a while until she spoke up again. “My turn. Did you come to Equestria with the express intent of seizing power, seducing the monarch to achieve your goal?”

Chrysalis fit a lot into that single question, doubtless gauging my reactions throughout. “Very little has gone according to anypony’s plan. My question. How did you expect to be able to keep Canterlot with the remaining ponies and the other hives all mobilizing against you?”

She scoffed. “I think you underestimate the amount of power I had at my disposal. By the time I revealed myself, I had been draining Shining Dolt for weeks. At that point, I had sufficient power to take down Celestia.

The changeling queen continued. “Of primary importance was speed. If I could have drained or placed in pods the entire Canterlot population before Carpacia arrived, it would be a matter of overwhelming her and her dozen-or-so princesses with brute force. Perhaps I would have lost a portion of the ponies from excessive draining of their love, but those losses would have been made up with the food in the countryside and smaller towns. The remaining hives combined were not the threat posed by the Red Hive. After that, it would be a matter of hypnotizing ponies to breed more feedstock and my children would have finally gone without hunger for the first time in the history of the hive.” Chrysalis gave me a smug grin like she had explained something obvious to a foal. Grimly, I couldn't fault her logic. Her approach was feasible. I was gladder than ever that Cadance and Shining Armor had defeated the invasion.

Her smile grew to show her fangs. “So you came from one of those alternate worlds you talked about, didn’t you?”

That question I was prepared for. “Actually, I feel I owe you an apology. That family photo I showed you? The one with you, Cadance, and Shining Armor as a happy family with nymphs of your own? Pure fabrication to weaken your resolve.”

I watched her narrow her eyes. I had told her something she wanted to believe, which was doubtless warring with what her senses were telling her.

I looked to the side, tapping my chin. “Although…” A dramatic pause. “Maybe I was telling the truth after all.”

I turned to Penumbra and nodded. She opened the door behind me as I scooted to the chair to my left. Chryssy entered the room and calmly sat down directly across from her counterpart.

I was watching Chrysalis carefully and saw her eyebrows rise when she saw the newcomer. Then she frowned and sneered. “Which changeling did you convince to help support this fabrication of yours, Mark Wells? Is that you, Thorax?”

Chryssy sadly shook her head. “I am not Thorax, nor am I any other changeling from this world. I am exactly what I appear to be – what you could have been if you hadn’t chosen the path of darkness.”

“Oh, this is too much,” sneered Chrysalis. “Other me is going to preach to me!”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” She held up a foreleg encased in unblemished chitin. “What don’t you see, Queen Chrysalis? Don’t worry – I’ll make it easy and give you the answer. Voids. Voids that are a symptom of constant hunger. Holes that are present in every one of your former subjects and even yourself. Despite taking a large share of the love that your drones harvested, you never had enough to sate you except for one occasion, and even then you did not stay that way long enough to heal. Not one changeling in my hive has voids anymore because, for years, they have fed well, and all because I dared to break tradition and seek help from the ponies.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “You’re not convincing me that you’re not a fake. No true changeling queen would ever betray her hive by allying herself with the food.”

“Just as no changeling queen would ever reveal herself and her hive to ponies by attacking them. Ponies are the source of food, not the food itself,” Chryssy replied. “And for all their flaws, their virtues far outweigh them. I didn’t merely get a meal – I gained allies, friends, family, respect, and a joy that has sustained my hive and made it greater than all the others in Equestria. I have the love of a husband and a wife, and I have children who have never known hunger. What have you got, Chrysalis, Queen of the Dungeon? Why, in Mother’s Name did you choose to betray the changeling race and pursue a course of fear and hate?”

“Don’t invoke Mother’s name and speak of betrayal when she was the one who showed us that we could only get what we want through strength!” snarled Chrysalis. “I merely was the one who best took her lessons to heart and tried to take my hive to its true position of greatness with me as the absolute ruler of Equestria.”

“We must have had very different lessons, then. Mother believed in strength of will, not arms.”

“Wrong! She believed in strength in everything! That is why she had to die before I could fulfill my own ambitions.”

Chryssy reeled back in her seat. “You… you killed Mother?”

Chrysalis snorted. “Of course! She made it clear that that was the only way I, or any of my sisters, would ever succeed her. She made us fight each other to make us strong.”

Tears started welling in Chryssy’s eyes. “My mother sacrificed herself to save her daughters and her hive when a quarray eel attacked the nursery. My sisters decided that I was the one best suited to lead the hive out of its slow death.”

“And you did so by making yourself a pony too. No wonder you don’t have the voids of a true changeling; you’re a soft, namby-pamby, spoiled grub!”

Chryssy stiffened and drew herself up, wiping away her tears with a swipe of her fetlock. “I am Princess Chryssy, Triarch of the Crystal Empire and Queen of the Crystal Hive, the largest and strongest in Equus. I have the love and respect of my family and my subjects. Sharing love has made us all strong – stronger than we could ever be without those ponies that you hold in such contempt. You could have had all this too – you still can, if only you open your eyes to where true strength lies.”

“True strength?” Chrysalis laughed contemptuously. “Thorax stole my throne by force, not by hugs and kisses. For all his failings, the traitor knew how to bring me down.”

“Are you blind? Thorax only had the backing of so many because he made friends and built relationships. Haven’t you ever cared for someone or had someone care for you to that degree? That they would literally do anything to ensure your happiness and well-being?”

That question seemed to shake the changeling queen and Chryssy pressed the question.

“You have, haven’t you? Who was it? Why aren’t they here to support or defend you?”

“Because she’s dead!” Chrysalis spat back.

“Who died, and why?” Chryssy asked gently.

“My older sister, Postgena. She… she helped me endure mother’s trials as we grew up, and then when we were set against each other in mortal combat by the Queen, she sacrificed herself. Postgena urged me to be strong and then told me how to kill her without arousing mother’s suspicions.”

A sudden sob interrupted the explanation, slightly shocking me. Chryssy had hit a nerve!

“Why would she do that, Chrysalis, if all that your hive respected was power?” Chryssy asked softly.

Chrysalis continued, her eyes shimmering with unspilled tears. “Because she… she…”

“Because she loved you,” finished the Crystal Princess sympathetically. “Just as my Postgena loves me and recommended me to succeed our mother when she died. It would seem that we have something in common in spite of everything else.”

Chrysalis slowly nodded. “I despised mother for forcing us to fight like that, and I knew that sooner or later, she would do the same with my four sisters and me. That’s why I conspired with them to get rid of her. Two were killed during the coup. Trochanter left with some drones to start her own hive outside of griffon territory but she was slain when she ran afoul of marauders. Flagellum went to live with an earth pony stallion that she professed to care for. They disappeared without a trace shortly thereafter. I think she was afraid of me and what I might do.”

Chryssy closed her eyes and tried to take that in. She sighed and shook her head sadly. “I can understand the source of your anger and hate, but you did not learn its lesson. You had the opportunity to be better than your mother, but instead, you took her poisonous teachings to heart. Your sisters rightly feared what you might do despite helping you take your place as Queen.”

“They abandoned me – they deserved their fate!”

“Don’t deceive yourself – you drove them away with your ambition and lust for power. My sisters were my regents and ran the hive while I studied under Celestia. They continue to do so whenever my duties as Princess of the Crystal Empire call me away from the hive.”

Chrysalis gave her alternate world double a sharp look. “You trust them that much?”

“I completely trust all my sisters. I once suggested that I should surrender the hive to Postgena and concentrate on being a Crystal Princess and wife to my spouses. All of them flatly rejected the idea. None of them is interested in being Queen. Postgena is happy and fulfilled exactly as she is currently. Trochanter, like yours, is planning to start another hive, but she’s doing it in a slow, methodical way that doesn’t disrupt the hive. I will gift her with a substantial number of drones when she’s ready. Flagellum… she’s expecting her third foal. I’m an auntie to two adorable crystal ponylings. And as for—”

“Enough! Your gloating irritates me!”

Chryssy gave her a sad look. “You know I wasn’t gloating; I was trying to show you how much better your life could be if you changed your ways. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Would you like a visit by Postgena?”

Chrysalis reeled back in shock. “N-no… I can’t…”

“Can’t? Why not? Is it because you’re ashamed? Did your Postgena expect so much more of you that you cannot even face another world’s version of her? No one in this world could possibly know her as well as you do, so anyling that claims to be her could not possibly hope to fool you. Then you would know that everything she tells you is the truth and you just can’t face that, can you?”

“No, but I can doubt all the lies you’re spewing!” Chrysalis snarled back.

Chryssy shook her head. “You still refuse to believe that I’m telling the truth. I suppose there’s one thing that you can’t refute though.” She turned to the Guard stationed at the door to the dungeon. “Would you ask my husband to come in, please?”

The Guard nodded and poked his nose out the door and said, “The Princess would like you to come in now.” He then stepped back to allow a white unicorn with a multi-toned blue mane to enter.

Chrysalis gasped as she recognized Shining Armor. He gave her a deeply appraising look and she cringed. I sensed that he found her wanting. He then walked up beside Chryssy and asked, “You wanted to see me, dear?”

“Yes. Could I ask you to express how you feel about me so that my doppelganger can witness?”

Shining Armor smiled, pulled her into his embrace, and then gave her a long kiss as he poured his love out for her. I could see Chrysalis react to that and knew exactly what she was feeling. Her senses were telling her that this unicorn was a real pony, not a changeling, and he was giving Chryssy pure, uncoerced love, so much that what merely spilled over amounted to a meal for Chrysalis.

When the stallion finished, Chryssy said, “Thank you, darling.” She turned back to the prisoner. “Obviously, this is the Shining Armor from my world. This world’s version has an understandable aversion to me, although he’s trying to overcome that. My wife, Cadance, would express the same feelings but she had to mind our Crystal Empire while we made this visit. This is what you could have had, Chrysalis. It’s still something that you could aspire to if you choose.” She looked over to me. “Thank you for this opportunity. I think I now understand her fully. I hope that she takes my words to heart.”

“You’re a better person than me, Chryssy. I would happily let her rot here, as she well realizes.”

“I don’t see her as a hopeless case, Mark.” She faced Chrysalis once more. “I meant what I said about Postgena visiting you. Just let somepony know and I’ll arrange it.”

Chrysalis sullenly turned away from us without replying.

“I think we’re done here for today,” I said. “Now, I believe that my wife has arranged a special dinner for our visitors.”

Shining Armor added with a chuckle, “And a poker game afterwards. Your Shining Armor wants revenge.”

Chryssy giggled as we exited the interview room together. “He’ll never get it. My hubby had to develop the world’s best poker face when playing with changelings all the time.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Pinefool.

Chapter 58 - Dragon Deal

While handing out awards had been a private ceremony, the public wouldn’t be easily satisfied without some answers. A large-scale mobilization of a multi-species armed force against a national threat was not something that could be swept under the proverbial rug. The average pony would settle for nothing less than a pronouncement from the palace, along with all the juicy details. The rumors alone were taking on a life of their own. While some of them were actually beneficial to our changeling allies, they would also set up unrealistic expectations of them. Some ponies suspected the dragons of blackmailing us for their help in our time of desperation. And, of course, there was the one rumor that could no longer be totally denied because there were too many witnesses – the return of Celestia.

While I regretted that I would have to finally reveal my special ability, it wasn’t as if I didn’t know that it was inevitable. Too many ponies already knew about it, let alone Chrysalis and her spies. The surprise value of being able to transform into a powerful alter-ego was now virtually gone. Even if they had no proof, potential enemies would nonetheless be wary of me, so I figured it was time to announce it to the world and clear up any mistaken beliefs.

A special session of Day Court was announced for the afternoon in the morning newspapers. The City Guard were instructed to spread the word as they walked their beats. Consequently, the throne room was thoroughly packed with curious citizens and reporters. I led off with a speech that comprehensively explained the events of Chrysalis’ second attempt to gain control of Equestria, leaving out Timpani’s pony name and some other details for security purposes. Then Trixie opened up the floor for questions, ensuring that there was a fair allocation of time to nobles, commoners, and professional newsponies alike. It didn’t take long before the expected query came up.

Lord Jet Set said, “I have it on good authority that Princess Celestia was seen leading the battle within the hive. Why has her return been hushed up, and why has she not taken her proper place as ruler of Equestria?”

Leave it up to an entitled noble pony to not only reveal that alicorn’s apparent participation but also make it yet another challenge to our authority. I looked forward to deflating the entitled prick.

“You are correct in your belief that an alicorn matching Celestia’s appearance was present at the hive. I can assure you though that the Princess was not there and played no part in the battle.”

The noble stallion scoffed. “This reeks of a cover-up by the usurpers to the throne!”

You had to go there, Jerk Set. Shot yourself in the hoof though because now a throne room full of ponies know what you think of the Triarchy. I gave him my smuggest smile. “No cover-up, Jet Set – you were merely misinformed. I was the pony that your witness saw.”

The idiot had the nerve to laugh in my face. “Do you take me for a fool?”

“Why, yes, I do. Thank you for asking.” This generated some chuckling in the crowd – mostly from the commoners. After that settled down, I transformed into Marklestia with full mane and tail, and with my wings outspread. In my best imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice, I proclaimed, “I am Princess Mark Wells, Triarch of Equestria. Do you doubt my word now, My Little Pony?” I stared down at him with my best haughty glare.

I’m fairly certain every single guest gasped in perfect harmony. Penumbra was at the base of the throne and took advantage of everypony’s distraction to give a sarcastic eye roll to my theatrics. Jet Set, however, was a bit more impressed. My change of form had the desired effect of making the noble do his best imitation of a goldfish, his jaw opening and closing without any sound coming out of his mouth. It also started a storm of conversation among the crowd. A unicorn mare stepped forward and curtsied to me. I acknowledged her with a nod.

“Your Highness, are you truly an alicorn too? If so, may I ask why you have chosen to take the appearance of a pegasus stallion?”

I gave her a beneficent smile. “No, I am not an alicorn. I am actually a pegacorn in this form. I have only average unicorn magic although I am an excellent flier. I have zero earth pony ability, however. And this is not my natural form. Although I am indeed a mare right now, my true form is that of a male pegasus, and I believe my wife prefers it that way.” I gave Trixie a smile who returned it with some amusement. Yeah, no need to tell the public what we did with my alternate form in private.

The unicorn giggled nervously; I think she saw the possibilities too.

“May I ask why you look like Princess Celestia then?”

“You may indeed. I have not always had this ability to transform. It all began one day when I was walking through the Everfree Forest….”

I gave the avid listeners an account of how I gained my alter-ego and what I did with it since. I left out the personal bits that they did not need to know and the still-secret ability to channel an enormous torrent of magic in a short burst. Being known to be a “one-shot wonder” would greatly lessen the advantage that would give me in battle. If Starlight had known what I could do, she might have been able to trick me into a wasted effort and then take me at her leisure after I was totally depleted.

I concluded with, “I put my empowered form at the service of our nation, but I remain your Triarch, Mark Wells, in whatever form I am in.”

There were a few seconds of silence as the audience took this all in. Then the hoof-stomping began. It grew into a roar of applause and the castle shook from its fervor. I beamed and smiled, then bowed in acknowledgement to my subjects. I noticed that Jet Set had slunk away when I had taken my attention off of him. With this level of approval from the common pony and most nobles, his credibility was likely to be shot for quite a while.

As the applause finally died down, a young unicorn stallion stepped forward to take the place of the mare. I raised an eyebrow questioningly. He fidgeted for a moment before speaking up nervously.

“Pardon me, Your Highness. My name is Thunder Clop and I would like to know if your transformation into a mare is just on the surface?”

“No, it isn’t,” I replied happily. “I am one hundred percent a mare in body, thoughts, and sensibilities in this form.”

The stallion perked up a little. “Then, would you be interested in going out to dinner with me tomorrow evening?”

I froze. He was asking me for a date? Did he really see me as so separate from my pegasus identity that he thought I might be available? My head spun when I realized that I was feeling flattered. Changing into a mare often brought different perspectives to me than when I was a stallion, and it impressed me mightily that this young pony had felt comfortable enough with Marklestia that he dared to ask me out in front of this huge crowd. Nevertheless, I had to disappoint him.

“I am sorry, my little pony, but I cannot accept your invitation. Not only am I happily married, but I also happen to like mares in either of my forms.”

The stallion looked disappointed. “I understand, Your Highness.”

I changed back into a pegasus and rejoined my wife who was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. One of the things that I adored about her was that she felt secure enough in my love for her that she did not feel threatened by amorous approaches by other ponies. Of course, having a laugh at my expense was the price I paid for that. I would willingly keep paying it too. I loved to see my wife happy.

Trixie composed herself and addressed the audience once more. “Has anypony any further questions?”

One newspony mare got in ahead of the others. “There’s a rumor that the dragons have demanded the entire Royal Treasury in payment for their services. If so, how is this going to affect the Equestrian economy?”

I gave the mare a hard stare as many of the ponies murmured in dismay. How had such an outlandish exaggeration come about? Torch required payment for his and the other dragons’ participation in the raid, of course, but bankrupting the nation was never an option.

I spoke up. “That is not true. In keeping with the royal policy of making alliances with several races for mutual defense, negotiations had been held with the Dragonlord and Torch in particular. An agreement was reached for fair remuneration which, while large, would certainly not be beyond our means. Subsequent to the raid though, we went to the Dragon Lands with a proposal that we believed would be of great benefit to both the dragons and the Triarchy….”

There was no sense putting off the inevitable, so I gathered my team and headed to Twilight’s Castle. Back in the Portal Room, I nodded to the Princess of Friendship. Twilight activated the string of six pony-sized portals that took us in stages to the Dragon Lands on the far side of the Black Spine Mountains. At each stop, she planted spares into the ground. We might be gone longer than the two hours that the gateways would last so we needed a way back.

At General Crushing Blow’s order, Crimson had used four of the six biggest portals Equestria possessed to create enormous gateways that Torch could traverse from his home to the staging location a mile from the Crystal Hive. Along with portal size, the bigger daggertooth scales reached a much longer distance, but were still limited to the two hour lifetime. Until we procured more of the large, flawless scales from the Seaquestrians, we wouldn’t hire Torch for any similar mission… if we could even afford a second one. Which brought up why we were here today.

I stepped out onto the basalt flats, closely followed by Spike, Twilight, Moon Dancer, and a bespectacled elderly earth stallion. His gray suit jacket was a shade darker than his neatly trimmed mane and tail and his cutie mark was a gold coin resting on an iron bar. He pulled a clipboard out of his saddlebags and sat down at the rear of our group, an amused smile on his face.

Turning to the front, I saw the new Dragonlord, a bright blue young dragon female casually holding her staff of office. She had a wry grin on her face that grew wider when she saw Spike waving. Behind Ember loomed her father in the mouth of his cave, just as enormous as his impressive bulk. He was beaming from ear to ear, and why shouldn’t he be? It was payday. An assortment of lesser dragons surrounded him, though respectfully at a distance and none within Torch’s reach. I recognized a couple of them from the battle at the Crystal Hive. I had to assume these were the other dragons who had helped. They had come based on promises from the former Dragonlord. Subcontractors, essentially. Regardless, Equestria’s contract was with Torch, so that’s who we would address.

Spike walked between our groups and raised his hands. “Greetings, Dragonlord Ember! Great to see you again!” The little dragon was trying as hard as he could to be formal for this business meeting but it just ran counter to everything he was. Nevertheless, it had been through his efforts that this alliance had been created in the first place after I had gotten curious about what a retired dragon did, so we had nothing to complain about.

Ember smiled back and I could hear the affection in her tone. “I’m glad to see you too, Spike. Why don’t you introduce everypony to me and my father?”

“Sure thing! First, there’s my big sister, Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

The purple alicorn bowed. “Please, just call me Twilight.”

Spike continued. “…aaaaaand Prince Mark Wells.”

I took a step forward and bowed. “A pleasure to finally meet you, Dragonlord. Spike had told us all about your adventure together.”

Ember replied. “Likewise. I haven’t been able to visit Equestria since I took the throne, but I look forward to accepting your invitation to visit Canterlot Castle.”

I looked up… way up to see Torch’s smiling face. He said, “If it isn’t the little shape-changing pony prince.” I couldn’t really take offense. Compared to him, I was certainly little.

He waved a hand with claws longer than my body. “Take your other form, would you? Celestia and I would have the most wonderful screaming matches. All the way from the time I was barely a hatchling. My favorite pony ever.”

I didn’t want to offend him this early in our talks, so I did as he requested, standing proud and tall in my long-maned form. The dragons surrounding us started muttering appreciatively. It seemed Celestia had left quite a positive impression on many of the dragons. Considering she could most likely mop the floor with any of them, I shouldn’t have been surprised. I said, “I’m also glad to see you again when you aren’t tearing hives apart, Torch.”

The dragon’s laugh rolled like thunder. “Oh, that was the most fun I’ve had in ages! Working as a team? Taking orders from a pony? What a strange and interesting day that was.”

His eye-ridges rose higher. “Ah! And remember when I said there were a couple of dragons I wanted to use those clever gauntlets on when I got home? Guess which pair of brothers decided to lay claim to my hoard, gambling that I would not return from the battle?” He gestured to a couple of strings of boulders that decorated the lip of rock at the top of his cave. They were a slightly different color than the surrounding stone. Looking carefully, I picked out spines on one and a fin on the other. The sections of rock were actually tails from a pair of unlucky dragons. Torch’s smile was proud but his eyes were appraising me.

I glanced back to see Twilight with a forced and unconvincing smile and Moon Dancer swaying on her hooves a bit. In contrast, the earth pony stallion was calmly cleaning his glasses then went back to look over his clipboard. Bankers.

I turned back to Torch, ignoring Spike retreating back to our group. I gave the gigantic dragon a smile. “I’m glad you have continued to find the gauntlets to be useful.”

“Indeed.” Torch’s smile turned more genuine. Apparently, the tiny faux-Celestia passed some sort of test. “Now I just need to decide what price I want them to pay for their body parts before they scab up. Or I could just keep them as decorations, I suppose.” He tapped his chin with a claw, causing deep tremors to fill the air.

I said, “I’ll leave that to you, Torch. Spike, would you introduce our last two ponies?”

Spike jumped as if he had been poked with a stick. “Wha? Oh, yeah! The mare is Moon Dancer, our resident legal expert. And the stallion is Fiduciary Trustee. His family owns the largest privately held bank in all of Equestria.”

Moon Dancer bowed deeply which was matched by the stallion. After straightening up, he said, “A pleasure to finally talk to the last dragon to successfully snatch the gold and jewels from an Equestrian bank. A hundred and seventy-eight years ago at our branch office in Fillydelphia.”

Torch’s smile crinkled the sides of his eyes. “Ah, you bring back great memories, pony. The times before dragon-proof vaults that can’t be pulled out of the ground because of your earth pony magic.” He leaned closer and blew a puff of smoke from his nostrils. “I hope you aren’t here to try to reclaim my properly-won spoils.”

The stallion waved a hoof. “Absolutely not. There’s no reason to. Your raid took place right after closing so no customers or employees were injured. Our bank received full compensation from one insurance company for the property damage and from another for the loss in assets. Besides, that branch was long overdue for refurbishment. And that’s not even mentioning the lax security measures you conclusively demonstrated. As a result of that day, all creatures across Equus can now rely on Equestria to keep their valuables totally safe.” He had said this last sentence loudly as he scanned his eyes across the gathered dragons. After a pause, he returned his gaze to Torch. “If anything, you did us a favor.”

While I heard murmuring from the throng that surrounded us, Torch had stopped moving, staring levelly at the earth pony. The dragon seemed to be critically evaluating what Fiduciary Trustee had said from multiple angles. No, despite his bluster, this was not a simple beast that only thought with his claws and teeth.

Ember spoke up. “You are all welcome here in the Dragon Lands. Let’s move on to the topic at hoof, as you ponies would put it. With the Dragonlord’s permission, three months ago, Torch entered into a contractual agreement with Equestria. The gauntlets were to be provided as a retainer for his services but were completed just before the raid. If Torch were to be called into battle, he would be paid his weight in gold and medium to high-quality gems within one month. He could bring other dragons along if he desired, paid for by himself from his fee. A last moment change to the contract required him not to harm any of the captive ponies held prisoner in the hive, otherwise, he would forfeit his payment. Does this all sound correct?”

Moon Dancer said, “Yes, it does.”

“And were any of the ponies held prisoner harmed by Torch’s actions?”

The mare shook her head. “They were not.”

Torch’s tone of voice was a bit more menacing than before. “I can’t help but notice that you did not bring a mountain of gold and jewels along with you.”

I looked up. “Equestria will honor its agreement and make full payment by the end of the one month period if that is your desire, Torch. What we are here to propose today is something potentially more lucrative. Something that will increase your wealth over time instead of letting it decrease.”

The dragon lowered his head until it was level with mine. His eyes narrowed. “Gold and gems outlive even the dragons. How can they lose value if they are eternal?”

I said, “Dragons consume gems for sustenance and hoard both gold and gems for their value. Other races prize them for their rarity and usefulness. For instance, some unicorn spells can be stored in high-quality gems for invoking later. Their value depends upon how much of that item is available compared to how many want to use it. We call that ‘supply and demand’.”

I sat down and waved a hoof. “There have been some recent developments that are changing the value placed on most gems. A couple of diamond dog packs have entered into partnership agreements with pony corporations to greatly expand their operations. With the help of unicorns and their spells, one clan has vastly increased both the quality and quantity of their gem mining. The other is producing three times as much gold as they did before the partnership, and they are still in the early stages. While this will greatly increase the prosperity of those diamond dogs, it will also decrease the value of gold and gems that are already out of the ground. That includes those in your hoards. I know dragons trade for items from other races: wine, jewelry, exotic gemstones, and other things you find valuable. Soon, those things will be going up in price. It will cost more and more gold and gems to acquire them.”

The dragons surrounding us started up their discussions again, not sounding pleased.

Torch said, “And you have a better idea.”

I nodded. “Let me have Fiduciary Trustee explain it.”

The earth pony stallion walked up to my side and sat down. “I could go into all sorts of numbers and financial terms to describe the idea, but it boils down to this: Have the ponies pay you in gold and gems on a regular basis.”

Torch narrowed his eyes. “Why would ponies do this?”

“Because that is what they do all the time at my bank. We give them temporary use of some of the funds we control. They return the money in installments. For the privilege of using those funds, they pay us back more than what they borrowed.”

Ember said, “And this is successful? You don’t lose funds to failed businesses and dishonest ponies?”

Fiduciary turned to face her. “That does happen on occasion, but we’ve been in business for over three hundred years. Our experience prevents most losses from becoming grievous. Our income pays for our employees’ salaries, upkeep of our properties, and expansion to new territories. Our newest branch office opened in Griffonstone last year.”

He sighed and took off his glasses. He cleaned them with a handkerchief (or was it a hoofkerchief?) before continuing. “The First Lipizzan Bank and Trust has been in my family for a dozen generations, but I am the last to bear a cutie mark and talent for my profession. My siblings, their children, and their grandchildren all have followed different paths. At this point, I want to retire and found a museum celebrating the history of Equestrian Art. While I have received offers for the purchase of my institution, none of the interested parties has impressed me. They want the prestige of owning a bank without remembering its purpose…” He jammed his glasses back on his muzzle forcefully then glared at Torch. “… make a damn profit!”

He pointed his hoof at the enormous dragon. “You and your lot understand the concept of growing your hoard slowly over time. You all also lack the ability to exchange the gems you don’t want for those that you do. A branch office here would be a benefit for all dragons.”

Torch tilted his head slightly. “You expect me to spend my reward to buy your bank?”

Fiduciary Trustee scoffed. “No. You would buy full control of the bank for less than a third of it. The rest would go to greatly expanding the banks’ investments all over Equus. Our bank alone has received a dozen inquiries from other diamond dog clans. The griffons finally have their beaks out of their collective rear ends and are approaching business seriously for the first time in generations. Dozens of public service projects are shovel-ready, just waiting for funding. The entire world of Equus is now opening up. The personnel I’ve hired through the years are all a capable lot. They could expand to be the premier bank across multiple nations but they need the capital and leadership to make that happen.”

The earth pony frowned. “Now then – are you the being for the job or did I waste my time coming out here?”

A smile grew across Torch’s face and he started laughing. When he was done, he looked down at the banker. “You are so much like your ancestor. When I pulled the vault out of the ground, ponies scattered away as fast as they could – except for one pony with the same color coat as yours. He just gave me a disapproving look and said something about ‘paying over time’ before turning away and ignoring me.” The huge dragon lay down and waved a claw. “Get comfortable, pony. I am intrigued, but I will need to know more before I give my answer.”

Torch turned to me. “Princess Mark Wells, I will need a fifth-part of my fee to pay those dragons that came with me. They won’t accept promises of wealth in the future.”

“E-Excuse me.” All of us turned to see a medium-sized dragon slowly move forward. She had scales very similar in color to Twilight’s lavender hue with a shock of dark purple fins on her head. Her most surprising features were two large ears that would have made a rabbit proud. After nodding, she said, “My name is Scrounger. Would you explain what you meant about getting ponies to pay us?”

Fiduciary blinked a couple of times. “The most basic way is to leave your portion of the reward with us, and the bank pays you one-twentieth-part of that in your choice of gems or in gold once per year.”

Scrounger nodded again, signaling her understanding… or perhaps it was just a habit. “For how long?”

The earth pony shrugged. “As long as you want. Potentially forever.” That got a gasp out of the dragons all around us.

A stout green male spoke next. “What if we want to increase our hoard faster?”

“Then you have several options. You can put your yearly payments back into your account. Now you have more money generating wealth for you. By doing this, you will double your wealth in 14 years. Also, you could deposit gems and gold that you do not want to guard, as Equestrian banks have an outstanding record for keeping all funds safe.” That got many looks between the assembled dragons. I imagined the smallest and most vulnerable ones found that idea appealing.

Fiduciary continued. “Also, you can team up with other dragons to provide capital directly to Chapter-P corporations such as the diamond dog ventures. The risk is higher, but there is also the chance to double, triple, or even quadruple your investment in a year’s time.”

Torch blew out a large cloud of black smoke. “And what if I or one of these whelps decides to take back their entire hoard? What then?”

“Then you need to remember how a bank works. We do not dig a pit and put all of the gold and gems inside. We let other beings use that money to make more. The bits sitting around the bank doing nothing are just losing value. If a dragon wants to take out all of their funds, that’s fine. It might take a week or two depending upon the size of their account. If all dragons decide to withdraw their hoards at once, the bank will refuse. When that happens, the bank will allow small withdrawals until the loaned out money returns.”

The huge dragon snorted. “So it’s all a gamble.”

The earth pony smiled. “One that has been paying off for over three hundred years.”

The dragon and pony smiled at each other.

Torch turned his gaze to his daughter. “What do you think, Dragon Lord?”

The blue dragoness tapped her staff of office against her palm a few times as she looked down at the ground. She then turned to face the rest of her subjects. “Dragons! You have heard what the ponies have to offer. By show of claws, how many of you would want your bits and gems from the Equestrians now?”

Slowly, more and more drakes lifted a clawed hand until about a third had been raised.

“And now who would try the pony way of gaining more wealth?”

Much faster, the remainder of the dragons put their hands up. I noticed that many of these were the smaller and presumably younger individuals.

Ember turned to look at her father. “I think this bank would tie the fate of dragons more closely than ever to that of ponies. However, the benefits would outweigh the negatives, especially if we could entice diamond dogs and their unicorn business partners to the Black Spire Mountains. You have the Dragon Lord’s permission if you choose to continue.”

Torch smiled proudly at his daughter. “Indeed. Strip mining by dragons already fails to reveal as many rich veins as it did in my youth.”

Ember turned to face the earth pony. “None of your pony rules prevent dragons from owning these banks?”

Moon Dancer stepped up. “I’ve reviewed all of the applicable legal codes. There are no such restrictions. In addition, because the customers and bank employees have a contractual mechanism in place with the bank, not with the owner, Torch’s personal savings would be protected by law. That includes the funds used to expand the bank’s investments.”

In the intervening silence, Twilight spoke up. “Torch, umm… if you decide to make this investment, I thought of something those two dragons could do for you to earn their… tails back.” Her own tail twitched uncomfortably. “Not all business matters can come to you. Sometimes, you will need to make a personal appearance at meetings of the bank Board of Directors and other occasions. I’ve put in a couple of requests to get more daggertooth scales that can be used to set up portals big enough to get you to Canterlot. When you are gone, perhaps those two dragons can, in turn, guard your treasure for you?” She gave a nervous smile.

A low, rumbling sound came from Torch’s throat. “Hmmmm.. Yes. That would be of value to me. I think a period of twenty years. He craned his head to look beyond the gathered dragons at two more a good distance away. I saw them nod their heads vigorously.

I had to grin at Twilight’s suggestion. Always the Princess of Friendship.

Torch looked back at Fiduciary Trustee. “The name of the bank is unacceptable.”

It was Fiduciary’s turn to snort. “Since you were not born a Lipizzaner pony, I would hardly think the name would stay the same.”

Ember spoke up. “As impressive as ‘The Bank of the Dragon Lord’ might have been, it would no longer be accurate. How does this sound as an alternative…?”

“…and so, thanks to the First Draconian Bank, Equestria can look forward to a significant boost to its economy and the Treasury will reap some much-needed taxes that will be utilized for several projects that we presently have on hold pending financing. In all, it’s a win-win for everypony and dragon. I hope this has allayed any fears that you may have had. Next question, please!”

The Law of Unintended Consequences holds true in Equestria just as well as it did on Earth. We had to dispatch several squads of Royal Guards to rescue ponies from the trouble that they got into when they ventured into the Everfree Forest in pursuit of poison joke. They all had visions of some amazing transformation similar to mine, every one of them ignoring the fact that my Celestial form was likely shaped by Harmony for its own purposes, while all the other changes were ridiculous and/or inconvenient. Beyond removing the ponies from the forest, the Guards were under orders not to further assist any victims unless there was a risk to their wellbeing. It was felt that they should suffer the consequences of their foolishness. One mare whose udders had been enlarged to such a huge degree that she could barely waddle took over half a day to make it from the outskirts of the Everfree to the Ponyville Spa to get the cure. Rainbow Dash was taking bets on how many ponies were cursed and what kind of silliness had been imposed on them by the treacherous blue flowers.

Despite the multitude of failures, ponies kept coming. The Ponyville Spa was making a fortune charging for the cure. At first, they were requiring just a little above the standard rate for the use of the cure-infused waters of the big tub, but as the clients kept coming, they upped the price to one hundred bits. The next day, the cost went up to two hundred bits. Still, the victims kept coming. At the urging of the Crown, they jacked up the price to three hundred with signs prominently displayed near the forest to advise that it would continue to climb each day. Nevertheless, it was two weeks before the last of the idiots tried their luck.

I didn’t escape the consequences either. Zecora gave me quite a tongue-lashing in iambic pentameter for encouraging that behavior. After a five minute melodic brow-beating, I shook my head in wonder and said, “That's incredible. How in the world can you do that?”

Zecora just glared at me, closed her mouth, and stomped off.

Penny asked, “Were you listening to any of the things she called you? I was taking notes! She's extremely creative.”

“No, not really. I was too amazed at how she was doing it.”

Penny gave me her trademark fang-filled grin. “Don't worry. I'll feed them back to you when you are least expecting them and more likely to pay attention.”

If Equestria wasn't bad enough already – now I have mares teaming up to knock me down!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

So, what kind of silly things do you think happened to all the foolish ponies who tried their luck with the poison joke? Give us your suggestions in the comments! We'll publish the best ones in the next chapter. Airy Words and I will select our favorite and the reader who suggested it can have a cameo appearance of their OC in the story. This can be as a victim of the poison joke or an extra in a future chapter. :pinkiehappy:

EDIT: Obviously the above offer is closed now, but if you think of something unique, don't hesitate to make a comment.

Chapter 59 - There's Something Different About You

Aside from my regular weekend visits to Ponyville, I did not have the time to spare to check on the craziness that happened during the fortnight which the locals have started calling the Last Laugh Festival. I did get to read Rainbow’s records on how many ponies (and surprisingly some other species) tried their luck with the poison joke. There were 237 victims of the flower’s curse, although I suspect a lot more had been successfully turned away by the Royal Guard patrols. And not all of them could truly be called victims either. Not long after the idiots started flooding in, a few of the more curious and daring Ponyville residents decided it would be fun to find out in what strange way they would be affected by the magical plant. Bolstered by the knowledge that there was a cure readily available, two slightly drunken stallion and mare couples headed into the forest, each egging the other on.

Berryshine grew butterfly wings. Not large ones capable of giving her flight though – insect-sized ones that apparently did nothing. That is until she started getting mobbed by butterflies with the same wing pattern. It took Fluttershy to identify that they were all males attracted to the female butterfly pheromones that the mare was oozing copiously.

Woodwind Warble was a talented unicorn musician, but he didn’t much like the tunes his horn played after getting the curse. Every time he used magic, his horn emitted fart noises, and not just one kind. A whole symphony of sounds from long high-pitched whistles to cheek-shuddering blasts. Kind of sorry I missed witnessing that one!

Candy Mane’s tail grew as fast as she walked, leaving a two-tone pink trail all the way from the forest to the spa. I heard that the Crusaders had gathered much of the tail hair. What they plan to do with it, I shudder to think.

The pegasus of the group, Chromatic Tone, found his hooves would light up different colors when they struck the ground. At the same time, they would let out a random note from a concert instrument. Flapping his wings once would change which instrument it was. Too bad every note was a wavering, out-of-tune monstrosity.

One of the earliest on Rainbow’s list of non-Ponyville citizens was intriguing. Jet Set had apparently sought to regain some credibility in the foolish expectation that a noble would deserve something better than a mere upstart who had gotten lucky. Instead, he got some poetic justice. I now have in my office a framed 8” x 12” glossy print that Rainbow Dash provided of Jet Set, complete with his very large jackass ears. I regret that I wasn’t there that day. Apparently, his aural appendages weren’t the only thing affected. Every time he tried to speak, only braying came out. My devoted subjects pretended that they misunderstood what he was trying to ask, so it took him all day to find out that the spa was where to get the cure. At least Dash gave me a discount on a bulk run of the prints so I could pass them out to everypony at court.

There were a few stories that Rainbow insisted telling me about in person. When the Royal Carriage had almost reached Ponyville station on Saturday morning, I heard a series of rapid knocks on the window. Looking over, I saw Rainbow Dash was frowning at me as she matched the train’s velocity.

With a grin, I lowered the window sash. “Just a bit impatient, are we today, Rainbow?”

“You’re darn right I am. I didn’t wake up early to wait for you to laze the day away. Now c’mon!”

I chuckled. “Can’t I wait for the train to stop first?”

“No. You used to have an excuse, sort of, when ponies outside of Ponyville didn’t know your secret. You don’t even have that anymore.” She did a couple of quick, tight loops outside the window. “Let’s go! Time to stretch those wings!” The pegasus looked back in the cabin. “Oh. Hey, Trixie! I’m stealing Mark for some flying practice.”

Trixie waved a hoof dismissively but didn’t bother to look up from her newspaper.

I had an evil thought. First the barb. “Penumbra, would you please carry my luggage to Friendship Castle?”

The batpony snorted. “Not my job and you know it. I’ll be coming with you.”

Now the dare. I said, “Yeah, but we’ll be going pretty fast and furious.”

“Not a problem. I can keep up with you two even on a bad day.”

Gotcha. I smiled at Rainbow as I turned into my short-maned Marklestia body. The rainbow-maned mare narrowed her eyes. Her voice was dangerously level. “I think that was a challenge.”

I shook my head. “I’ve promised to stay within sight of my foalsitter, but that sounded like she was up for trying to match our aerobatics.”

“Well, OK then!” Rainbow zipped away and I headed to the front of the train. I gave a quick peck to my wife with a “See you at lunch.” Then a light punch of Penny’s shoulder with a “Good luck.” Seconds later, I was following a receding rainbow-colored streak gaining altitude over the Everfree Forest.

Rainbow and I attempted to push our speed and maneuverability to the absolute limit. I spun out of turns a half dozen times and even Rainbow lost control twice. By the time the blue mare and I landed on a grassy knoll about a half-mile north of the forest, both of us were panting and sweating heavily. I suppose the high-intensity flying was not terribly fair for Penumbra. She was encumbered with armor and a few weapons and had gamely tried to follow our lead… for a short while. She collapsed onto the ground nearby and her sides heaved like bellows in a blacksmith’s shop.

Rainbow’s hooves were shaking a bit from the exertion, but you couldn’t tell from her voice. With a wicked grin, she said, “OK, I’m good. Ready for round two?”

A groan was the answer from Penumbra. I winked to the pegasus. “Nah. You said you had some special poison joke tales to tell.”

“Oh yeah! Did I tell you I personally rescued a couple of dozen ponies that couldn’t get out of the forest? But did I get any thanks from them? Noooooo. Of course not.” She settled down next to me and put her wing on my back. “Anyways, an earth pony stallion named Bright Spark tried his luck. He started building up a static charge that was awesome! He had kind of a long coat and his hairs stood out straight from his body. What was more impressive was that his mane and tail did the same thing! True to his name, when he shorted out by getting too close to somepony or something touching the ground, a tiny bolt of lightning would shoot out from him and he’d start building up a charge again. Both he and any pony he got too close to got an unpleasant jolt out of it.”

Her smile turned predatory. “Of course, since I have to wrangle lightning on occasion, I had to investigate. Turns out that touching him while hovering made me just as static-y, which I used to surprise-shock every pony I could find!” Her grin was infectious. “Yep. Had to cement my reputation as the Ponyville Queen of Pranks!”

Then her smile fell. “Except for Twilight. She hardly ever goes outside during the day, so when I saw her reading a book and heading into town, I glided in behind her, only to smack into a shield she threw up!” Her wings twitched. “I mean, I can be super quiet when I want to be. But she still caught me every time I got close! I don’t get it.”

I chuckled. “Twilight has been taking lessons in situational awareness as directed by Crimson Boulder. He recruited a bunch of ponies to catch her when she least expects it. For the first few weeks, she was getting pelted regularly by water balloons from everywhere and everywhen: Night Court, walking around Canterlot, even when she was sleeping in her bed at Friendship Castle. Once she could sense things coming and stop the balloons from hitting her, Crimson allowed Twilight to use spells to augment her senses.”

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, that’s nice. The Queen still needs to prank every last pony, though.”

I jumped when Penumbra suddenly spoke up from where she had snuck up behind us. “Twilight is still pretty bad at detecting anypony approaching her at night.” My bodyguard didn’t sound tired in the slightest.

Getting control of my heart, I tried to keep my voice level. “Well, look who recovers quickly.”

Rainbow said, “Nah. She was play-acting the whole time.” The blue mare then looked at me. “You didn’t know?”

I frowned at the batpony. Penny helpfully said, “Nope. Crimson thinks Mark isn’t ready yet to go through the same training. Foal’s steps first.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose with a hoof. “So what other stories have you been waiting to tell me?”

That brightened her mood. “Well, the weirdest one was a fashion model named Violet Shores. After taking a bite, she turned into a female draconequus! Couldn’t work chaos magic, though.”

I grinned. “And what did Fluttershy’s stallionfriend do?”

The pegasus laughed. “Discord waved a pamphlet above his head as he chased her all over town… Wait! I had to write down what he kept saying.” She pulled a piece of paper from her mane, unfolded it and read aloud. “ ‘But, Miss! If you would only give me a few minutes of your time to tell you about the health benefits of Blue-Green Algae. What’s more, there’s huge income potential if you join my distribution network!’ ”

It was my turn to laugh. When I was done, I was facing two confused mares. Rainbow asked, “So what does that mean, anyway?”

“It’s something truly nefarious from my world. Best if you never know.”

Rainbow paused. “So that means it’s bad?”

I nodded. “Flim-and-Flam-level bad.”

“Huh.” The pegasus craned her neck and looked past me. She then smiled and faced me again. “And here’s the last story I wanted to tell you – sneaking up on you when you weren’t looking.”

A shadow fell over all of us. I turned around to see a purple sea serpent grinning down at me from his standard lofty heights as he crested the hill. He waved so enthusiastically that his mullet hairstyle rocked back and forth. “Hi, Mark!”

“Great to see you again, Steven!” The gigantic denizen of Everfree Forest could give Fluttershy a serious challenge as the nicest being in Equestria. “I’m always glad to see my favorite sea serpent. Rainbow was just telling me about ponies and their transformations these last two weeks. Don’t tell me you ate poison joke, too!”

He actually blushed and looked very demure. “No. But… well… let me introduce you to Lucky.” He held out a hand and a blue sea serpent with kinky yellow hair came up to take it.

She bowed shyly and said, “H.. Hello, Your Highness.”

Well, well. Maybe not everything that happened was bad or fed into Rainbow’s schemes for pranks. “Just call me Mark when I’m not in Court, Miss Lucky. I take it there’s a story here.”

Lucky shrank a bit but her smile didn’t waver. Steven gave her hand a little squeeze. “Go ahead, dear. Mark is a good friend of mine. An absolute heart of gold.” His eyes radiated care and encouragement.

She cleared her throat. “Well, I suppose I should tell you my pony name. It’s Rancid Luck. My parents were gamblers and… let’s just say life for a pudgy earth pony mare who keeps having terrible things happen to her was… well… I didn’t get much joy out of it. So hearing about how poison joke worked, I thought I would give it a try. I mean, how much worse could my luck get?” Lucky looked up to Steven and he nodded for her to continue.

“Well, after the first few mouthfuls of poison joke, I turned into this. I started screaming and panicking. I couldn’t even figure out how to move. I was still thrashing about when I heard a terrible crashing noise coming through the forest directly at me. I closed my eyes and waited for the end, only to hear…” She looked up to the male sea serpent with a smile.

Steven picked up from there. “ ‘Oh, you poor dear. Please let me help you.’ ”

Lucky said, “He was just so kind and gentle. I tried to fuss over the cuts and bruises he got smashing a straight line through the forest to get to me, but he insisted on taking care of me first.” She sighed. “He supported me so I could move around and head towards the spa where I knew there was the cure. It was slow going, so we had a chance to talk and get to know each other. But there was something he said that made me stop in my… uh… coils.”

Steven again took his cue and looked a bit bashful. “Well. I’m afraid I got a little cross.” I blinked. I hadn’t thought that was possible.

He continued. “I said, ‘No, no. I don’t want to know what has happened to you in your life. That doesn’t tell me who you are. I want to know if you like sunsets. What ice cream flavor do you like best? How do you feel when you hear your favorite music? Let me get to know Lucky.’ ”

The former mare beamed. “Nopony… no one had ever shown interest in me before. And I really didn’t want to go back to what I was – to the life I had.” She gave Steven a quick kiss, which made him blush again. “So now I’m going to just see where Harmony leads me.”

I stared up at the two. “I’m very happy for you both. You two deserve all the joy in the world.” My smile slipped a bit when they didn’t respond, staring into each other’s eyes instead.

Rainbow said, “Hello? Equus to Steven?” It was no use. They had disappeared into their own world.

I unfurled my wings. “Ah, well. They’re obviously busy. I’m sure we’ll see them again soon.” The other two mares followed my lead and we quietly flew away. A glance over my shoulder showed the sea serpents in the same pose—still lost in their love for each other.

Between our aerial dancing, Rainbow told me of several other interesting poison joke curses. She’d had to carry a stallion with a rusty-gray coat who had been frozen like a statue. She might never have realized he was alive if he hadn’t kept repeating “Oil can” when she was in earshot.

One unicorn mare ended up with masses of flowers growing out of her coat, but while that was bad enough, she had to run from swarms of bees attracted to the sweet-smelling pony every time she got close to the spa.

A rather vain mare who was excessively proud of her long-legged looks found out that having giraffe-length legs did not work well on a pony. She also had a heck of a time trying to get into the spa like that!

One pegasus lost all of his feathers. His plucked chicken-wings were so embarrassing to him that he tried to sneak through Ponyville, only to run into the Crusaders. Naturally, he quickly became the center of attention for half the population.

Then there was the unicorn whose coat color constantly changed with every step he took. That was bad enough but it wasn’t just one hue but often several badly clashing colors or even polka-dots.

The town gossip from Whitetail Village was turned mute. There was a rumor that the villagers were quietly trying to acquire some of Zecora’s poison joke potion. Not sure if that was true or not, but I could empathize in any case.

But I think my favorite was the postal worker, Rainy Day, who actually succeeded in becoming an alicorn… at least, technically-speaking. Do penguin wings and giraffe horns count? Rainbow had a photo of the mare with the caption: “Equestria’s Newest Princess” on it. Oddly enough, she never came to claim her crown.

The speed of a change due to poison joke was dependent on the degree of exposure. That was why Zecora’s potion worked within a second or two while ponies who had only touched the flower didn’t transform for half a day or even overnight as had happened to my friends. The idiots who munched on several flowers usually were affected within minutes, while those who just had a nibble might not learn their fate for an hour.

Some ponies were accidentally affected. The Royal Guard squads sent to evict or rescue the ones trying their luck occasionally got contaminated by those ponies. Of course, the Guards got prompt free treatment and were none the worse for the experience. However, one did not normally hear of anypony actually enjoying it.

I had done away with the use of the anonymizing enchantment on the Guard armor within the palace and its grounds. I felt it was unnecessary and even counterproductive if an imposter slipped through security, and I was tired of trying to guess who I was talking to by subtle clues. I liked to be able to greet the Guards by name and maybe even have a chat with some of them. I made it a point to know every one of the Guardponies who worked hard to make our lives easier and more secure.

Thus, I was slightly taken aback when I failed to identify a pegasus stallion on watch in the hallway outside the royal suite one morning, although his face was tantalizingly familiar. I paused and stared at him for a long moment.

“Can I help you, Your Highness?” he asked.

Even his voice seemed like I should know who it belonged to. “What’s your name, soldier?”

“Golden Gleam, Sire.”

I momentarily blinked in confusion. “Didn’t you used to be a mare?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“And…?”

“Poison joke.”

“I see. You do know that you may request to be relieved in order to be cured, don’t you?”

“Yes, Sire, but I do not require curing.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“Gender dysphoria – I was a stallion born into the body of a mare. Now, I am what I should be.”

“Ah, I see. When did this happen?”

“I got up this morning to prepare for my shift. Went to the barracks bathroom to shower and was promptly chased out by the mares. Woke up enough to realize that I had changed overnight. After dragging myself away from the mirror in the stallion’s bathroom, I made my way to the armory to exchange my uniform armor for something that fit my new body. Then my watch started.”

I grinned. “Going to celebrate when you get off-duty?”

“Like no pony ever celebrated before, Your Highness,” he replied with a hint of a smile.

“Take the next day off with my permission. You’re going to need it,” I said with a chuckle.

“Thank you, Sire.”

“Carry on.” I continued on my way, speculating whether the poison joke curse had backfired, or if Harmony had corrected a mistake that day.

Arranging a visit by Chryssy from her home dimension had not been the only inter-world travelling we had been doing lately. After I had caught out Twilight making several trips to the House Path dimension, I promised I’d not bug her about it anymore if she did me a favor. Okay – I pretty much blackmailed her. I wouldn’t let Twilight have her fun if she didn’t let me do the same.

During the entire time-battle with Starlight Glimmer, Twilight had gotten to meet various iterations of herself, whereas I had encountered none of mine for various reasons. I was not only incredibly curious but I also figured that my alternate selves might have some insights into our situation to share. So I arranged a meet-up. Fortunately, just as Twilight had the camera from Chryssy’s dimension to get a fix on it, we had both acquired souvenirs or gifts from several other worlds that were used to create portals to return to those places. Twilight could also open portals blindly and she figured that she would do some exploring sometime in the future, but for now, she stuck with the known safe destinations.

She informed me that she had managed to arrange to bring four Marks to her castle next Saturday. “I aimed for as many different versions of you as I could within my time constraints. I think you’ll find them all fascinating. Each of them is just as curious as you are to meet the others.”

So, I waited in the hallway outside the room which Twilight had set aside for her portals. She made me stay out because she feared I’d stumble into something and break it. Rude, but not totally unjustified. I didn’t have to wait long before the first visitor exited. He was my spitting image but would never be mistaken for me because he was a unicorn instead of a pegasus.

“Whoa! Wings! Aren’t you afraid of heights like me?” he asked as he offered me his hoof.

I gave him a hoofshake as I replied, “You know if you’re like me that it’s a reasonable fear due to clumsiness and not a phobia. Once I had received some flying lessons and I got confident in the air, that fear went away. For the first few weeks though, I would have happily traded them away for a horn like yours.”

He nodded. “Can’t say I blame you. I don’t know how I could have got along without magic to help me do things. Although, now that I’ve met you, obviously you figured it out.”

“Yeah, but I still miss my fingers. If I’m really desperate, I now have an alternative though.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“First, I have to ask if you have a special ability that you prefer to keep a secret?”

“A bit vague, but I don’t believe I can do anything that you may be obliquely referring to.”

I grinned. “Good. I’ll show you later. Another of us is arriving.”

This newcomer was hard to miss. He easily stood twice as tall as us, but that was due mostly to him being a biped. Without something to directly compare to him, I still guessed that he was a little taller than my human self due to the different foot/hoof structure. He had to be double our mass too. This Mark was an anthropomorphic pegasus whom I would bet was mated to the boobalicious Trixie that I had encountered during our time battle. He chuckled at seeing us.

“I knew I would be meeting quadruped versions of me after seeing your Twilight Sparkle, but it’s still amusing to see cute four-hooved ponies like you two.”

“You lucky bastard – you got hands!” unicorn Mark commented.

“What are you complaining about? You got a horn,” Goliath pointed out.

“Which took me months to get competent enough with to be useful. And this guy didn’t even have that!” Unimark waved a hoof in my direction.

Trying to keep my view above anthro Mark’s waist level, I said, “At least I didn’t have to look at naked bipeds with all their junk on display. I notice that you seem fine with being nude though.”

“You get used to anything after a while. I did try wearing clothes at first, but I soon realized that ponies were staring at me more because I was dressed in weird clothes. However, as soon as I got the nerve to strip off, I essentially became just another pony. Still felt drafty for a long time though.”

Just then, another being emerged from the portal room. To my astonishment, he was a griffon! This had to be another Mark Wells though because he had feathers of the exact same shade of green as mine, while his leonine rear half was a match for my yellow mane and tail. He looked us over and chuckled.

“Looks like I got to be the cool creature,” Mark Griff said.

“What makes you think that?” Unimark asked, unimpressed.

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe it’s the talons or this powerhouse bod,” he replied smugly.

“And how many times did you embarrass yourself in front of other griffons while trying to learn how to fly?” I asked.

Mark Griff blushed. Seems that weird ability worked for griffons too. “Too many,” he muttered.

Knowing griffon arrogance, I was pretty sure this Mark was probably a laughing stock if he lived among them. Come to think of it, Twilight probably wouldn’t have found him easily if he didn’t live among ponies either in Canterlot or Ponyville, so I could imagine his actual status among the griffon community.

Before I could inquire further, the fourth and final guest turned up. Twilight accompanied a pegasus almost exactly like me, but a tad smaller, a much longer mane, somewhat larger wings, and slightly softer features. I suddenly realized that this was a mare and I could guess which dimension she had come from.

“Hi! Would I be correct in assuming that you’re the wife of a stallion named Trixie whom we met several weeks ago?”

She nodded and smiled. “Yes, I am. When Trixie told me about your visit, I was very sorry that I had missed you. I’m glad to get the opportunity to meet you. Now I see that you’re not even close to being the strangest version of me that’s around.”

“I have to know something. What was it like turning up as a mare in Equestria?” I asked.

“Probably exactly the same as it was for you. Twilight commented on how similar my world is to yours.”

“No, what I meant was how you dealt with the gender-swap.”

The mare blinked in confusion. “Huh? What gender-swap?”

I gestured at the other Marks. “We all ended up in differing forms but still male.”

Realization dawned on the mare and she started laughing. “No – I’ve always been female. I was a woman back on Earth.”

Oops. Serves me right for making assumptions. “My apologies – I should have known better.”

Mare Mark shrugged. “You’re a stallion – I’m used to it.”

I shook my head. “Actually, I have far less excuse than that. I’ll show you why later, unless you can do something that other ponies can’t do but I can.”

She gave me a curious look. “Sounds like a story there.”

“Yeah, but let’s go to the Great Hall and make ourselves comfortable so we can chat. Spike has prepared some snacks for us. He can even dig up something a bit more carnivorous for the beaky one,” I added with a smirk to the griffon.

“Great! Lead on!” Mark Griff declared unabashed.

Twilight did the actual leading but two of them already knew the way as it seemed that her castle was a constant for the griffon and unicorn Marks.

Because the visitors were all alternate world versions of me, I presumed that they all had the same tastes as me too, so foods that I particularly liked were prepared in advance. Of course, we hadn’t taken a griffon into account, but as Twilight occasionally played host to them, she did have something appropriate for the cat-birds in storage. It didn’t take long for Spike to whip up a snack for Mark Griff who nibbled on pony food while he waited. Also, being a dragon, Spike didn't have a pony’s aversion to handling or preparing meat. That saved my bacon more than once… well, not really. Usually, it was just fish.

When everyone including Twilight and Spike were comfortable, I said, “I suppose that as the host of this get-together, I should be the one to tell you about myself first. Then you can each relate your versions and see how we differ.”

“Sounds good to me,” Unimark said.

The others nodded agreement and I took a swig of my drink before I started.

I told them every relevant detail including the embarrassing ones. Going by Twilight’s experience with her alternate selves, our personalities and foibles were basically the same and they wouldn’t mock me for anything that they could easily have done, and may indeed have done, in identical circumstances. When I got to the part about the poison joke though, even they had to laugh. All except mare Mark, I noticed.

“What possessed you to try eating those flowers?” Anthromark asked.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time. I’d learned that ponies liked to eat flowers and tasted several before, so I experimented.”

Mark Griff chuckled. “I’d give a hundred bits to see that.”

“You’re on!” I replied. I stood up and transformed into full-maned Marklestia.

Two jaws and one beak practically scraped the floor, and even the mare was surprised this time. I gave them one of my best fashion model poses and said, “What do you think, boys?”

“Holy crap!” Unimark said. “I’m quite familiar with Celestia and you’re the spitting image of her except for your cutie mark. You sound like her, too!”

I grinned and nodded. “Yes, I’ve met a few versions of her in various dimensions. She finds it very amusing to have an identical twin sister. She’s kind of jealous of the one trick that I can do though that she can’t.” I switched to my preferred short-mane and tail version.

Unimark stared and blushed. Suddenly I got the feeling that perhaps he might be more than just familiar with his Celestia and I felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze, so I switched back to my pegasus self.

“You owe me a hundred bits,” I told the griffon.

“Worth it,” he replied. “How did you do that though?”

“That part is coming up.” I continued my tale and stunned them with how I defeated Tirek and gained the ability to change my form at will. Once again, the mare didn’t react like the others and I was determined that she would be the next one to tell her story. I was sure that there would be some very interesting differences between our lives in Equestria. Eventually, I caught up to the present day and I turned to mare Mark.

“By the way, I never asked, but is your name Mark or something more feminine?”

She grinned. “You’re making assumptions again. Mark is a female name, just like Phil, Robert, or Edward. Boys’ names are Trixie, Gilda, Sally, Anne, and so forth.”

“That’s so weird,” I said.

She nodded. “I know. That’s how I felt when I learned about all these worlds where I am male.”

“I’m going to call you Marek just to stop the confusion,” I said with a smirk.

“You’re an ass,” she replied.

“Takes one to know one, right?”

She giggled but didn’t deny it.

“How about you tell your version next?”

“Okay, although it’s surprising how similar our stories are up to a point. Like you, I fell through the mirror portal and smashed the one at the Equestrian end. I was brought before Prince Trixie and became his advisor. However, he took a personal liking to me sooner than your Trixie apparently did, presumably because there’s a far greater pressure on the stallions to gain the interest of the limited number of mares and I was very much available. Well, just as your Trixie’s personality appealed to you, so did mine. We became an item much faster than you did, but other than getting married sooner, I’d say that our relationship has been much the same. I made the same mistake as you and ate some poison joke. I transformed into Prince Celestia in Twilight’s laboratory too. And yes, Rarity had me modelling his stallion fashions too. Like you, I found that repeated doses of poison joke extract would consistently turn me back into Marklestia. However, I can’t transform whenever I want like you can.”

“That came as a consequence of being saturated in Equestrian magic barfed up by Tirek. Did your history go another way?”

“Yes, it did. Right up until getting the emetic into Tirek, the plan was working. At the last moment, things went wrong. Tirek knocked me unconscious with a slap of her hand and we had to go to the back-up plan.”

As Chrysalis had learned, if I had failed to get the emetic into Tirek, Zecora was hidden in a covered pit nearby with non-magical weapons at her disposal. Three sets of three darts, each with a different poison that would kill Tirek over the course of no more than a day. Because ponies always strove to capture rather than kill, it was our last resort which, thankfully, we hadn’t needed to use.

“You were forced to kill Tirek instead,” I said softly.

Marek nodded. “Equestria got its magic back and I got to feel guilty as hell. And that’s why I can’t transform at will like you. I still do some fashion shows with Rarity though, but I have to use the potion each time.”

“I’ve got some of that potion still sitting around since I don’t need it anymore. Would you care to show your other self off?”

Marek blushed. “I could, but I get a rush of testosterone whenever I transform, so for the first minute, I kind of swing in the wind, if you know what I mean?”

Anthromark chuckled. “Lady – you don’t know the half of it. Wait until I tell you all about suddenly being a naked stallion in a country full of hot nude mares!”

Marek managed a smirk. “I get your point. Okay, I’ll do it.”

I turned to Twilight who had been quietly listening all this time. “Could you…?”

A bottle popped into existence and hovered in front of me and a scroll, quill, and lab goggles next to Twilight. I noticed a very eager look on the alicorn’s face. I chuckled to myself. Nothing turned on this mare more than Science!

I took the flask out of the air and passed it to the mare. She hesitated for a moment before unstoppering it and taking a swig. The concentrated poison joke did its job and a moment later, a stallion Celestia stood before us. An extremely well-hung stallion. Alicorn-level, you might even say. Rapidly growing a boner. Can’t say we weren’t warned.

Living among nude ponies, you get used to seeing the occasional unwanted stiffy in public, especially among pubescent colts who really can’t help themselves, so I didn’t let that distract me for long and took in his other features. He still had the multi-colored mane and tail but trimmed to a more masculine style. His musculature was also more defined and his features squarer. A glance at Twilight showed her practically drooling over the stallion. I stood corrected. Apparently, there was one thing that could turn her on more than Science. Her husband was probably going to fulfill some guilty pleasure tonight.

“Well, what do you think?” male Marklestia asked in a deep and very masculine voice. He blushed a little as he held his wings to conceal the embarrassing spectacle.

I replied, “I’d say that I was jealous that you got to be male except that I quite enjoy being female as Marklestia. Is the reverse true for you too?”

“Yeah, it is. Once I get the erection under control, I like to visit around Ponyville like you do. I still prefer stallions though.”

That was consistent with how poison joke affected me. It made us comfortable in our new forms but didn’t change our basic nature. “Do you want to continue your story like that, or would you prefer taking the cure first?”

He shrugged and settled down on his belly. “I’m comfortable like this for the moment. Not that there’s much more to tell you because it’s virtually the same as your story.”

“What about your wedding to Trixie? Was it as crazy as mine?”

“Pretty much. Prince Cadance rushed off in the middle of the ceremony to attend to his wife. Princess Shining Armor gave birth to an alicorn colt and Prince Twilight finished tying the knot for us.”

I could hardly wait to tell my Shining Armor about his female counterpart giving birth. It was sure to make him cringe! “Speaking of babies, my Trixie is currently pregnant. May I ask if you’re expecting too?”

He rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have done this transformation if I was pregnant, would I?”

I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of that.

Stallion Marklestia continued, “And no, I’m not in any hurry to have a foal either. That’s where I differ from your Trixie, apparently.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Does Prince Trixie have a nickname for you? Mine calls me Dowser occasionally.”

“Hmm. My husband sometimes calls me Diviner, which is pretty much the same thing.”

“Yeah. Just one more question – is Prince Twilight married to a changeling?”

“Queen Thorax? Yes, he is.”

“So, the gender-flipped universe is almost identical to mine. How about the rest of you?”

“My story’s a lot different from yours,” Unimark replied.

“Your turn then.”

“For starters, in my Equestria, Celestia and Luna never left. So, while the Royal Sisters took sympathy on my plight, I was never introduced to Trixie. Celestia did take some interest in my other-world point-of-view and we had some long talks about it. She also took over my magic lessons when my instructor couldn’t cope.”

“Why was that?” Anthromark asked.

“Remember his description of his flying lessons?” Unimark answered, pointing to me.

“Yep.”

“Now translate that to magic lessons instead. I ran up quite a repair bill for the palace before Celestia started taking me somewhere remote where I couldn’t do any real damage.”

“Wasn’t that a big inconvenience for the ruler of Equestria?” Anthromark asked.

“Technically, yes, but in actuality, Celestia enjoyed getting a break from the court, and she also regarded it as a good excuse for Luna to get some experience with Day Court rather than only doing Night Court.”

“Sounds like you and Celestia got along quite well,” male Marklestia said.

Unimark blushed. “Better than that. Turns out that after dealing with stuffy nobles and hero-worshipping commoners all the time, I was a bit of fresh air for her. I simply didn’t have the same attitude for royalty as everypony else beyond basic respect. We ended up spending quite a lot of time together and I did get put in a lesser advisory position. I didn’t take any part in those major events you described though. That was mostly Twilight and her friends. Then Chrysalis kidnapped me and tried to do the same to Celestia, but she defeated the changelings sent to replace her. Celestia stormed the hive to rescue me with the help of a few dozen dragon friends of hers and the biggest tatzlwurm anypony had ever seen.”

“You obviously had a Thorax to tell you where the hive was and Celestia would have listened to the warning about Equestrian magic being neutralized. But why did Chrysalis bother to kidnap you in the first place?” Mark Griff asked.

I smirked. “You clearly don’t know Celestia. I’ve met a few versions of her and she’s a very passionate mare. If someone discovered that she cared deeply about somepony, that could be used as a weapon against her.”

The griffon gave Unimark a sharp look. “Then you’re saying…?”

“We were lovers behind closed doors. We got married after that incident. I’m royalty too, now,” Unimark admitted.

“You bagged a real alicorn though,” stallion Marklestia said. “Nice one!”

Unimark rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to deal with Luna as a sister-in-law!”

Mark Griff guffawed. “Serves you right hooking up with a princess.”

I said, “I guess you’re not going to claim to be a prince then.”

“Nope. After I got debriefed by the princesses when I arrived in Equestria, they soon transferred me to the care of a griffon Royal Guard who taught me how to griff. Gracie found me a place in the Canterlot griffon enclave where she and I live together. We’re expecting our second cub in six months.”

I blinked in surprise for several seconds. “Well… that was short but sweet. You didn’t take part in any major events?”

“Not unless you count getting the magic sucked out of me by Tirek like everybody else in Canterlot. Gracie’s the one who’s in all the action. I just tinker and try to re-invent Earth gadgets with Equestrian technology.”

Male Marklestia said, “I have to say that being a griffon has affected you a lot more than we three ponies.”

The griffon just shrugged. “Can’t really argue with that, but I’m happy the way I am. So is Phil.”

“WHAT?!” the rest of us chorused.

“You mean to say that Phil fell through the portal with you?” I asked, barely beating the others.

“Yeah. We were carrying the mirror into my room when the glass suddenly became intangible. I lost my grip and stumbled into the mirror and started falling through. Phil tried to grab me but he was off-balance and got pulled in with me. He ended up as a griffon too, but female. That didn’t bother her much though.”

“I met a mare Phil during my time battle and she was married to her Mark. Turns out that Phil was bisexual which is why the gender change didn’t concern her too much. But obviously, your Phil didn’t marry you.”

“Nah. She’s got the hots for another hen. Gloria and Phil double-date with us regularly.”

“Well, your story is certainly different from ours,” I said. “I’d like to learn a bit more about life as a griffon later. Right now, let’s hear from our two-legged Mark.”

Anthromark chuckled. “I think mine will be the least exciting. Unlike you, I didn’t fall over and break the mirror when I tried to stand up after arriving in Equestria. Unfortunately, these things—” He indicated his large wings. “—opened of their own accord and did the dirty work. I got taken before Celestia, me totally nude and she only wearing her regalia, her necklace resting on a huge pair of beautifully-shaped boobs. It was as distracting as hell! After talking to Celestia, she put me into the care of Twilight Sparkle who was interested in researching what Earth was like while she and her friends helped me adjust to a new world. Like these two pegasi, I crashed and burned a heck of a lot while trying to learn how to fly. I even did the high-altitude thing, but I never tried to eat poison joke after leaving Zecora’s place. Apparently, anthro ponies aren’t as much into eating flowers as you quadrupeds.”

“You should try some of the potion and find out how it affects you,” suggested male Marklestia.

Anthromark eyed the bottle on the coffee table. “I can’t say that I’m not curious. Maybe later.”

I said, “Let’s hear the rest of your story first.”

“Well, I helped Twilight for a while, then one day a travelling entertainer came to town.”

“Trixie?” I asked.

“Yep. She put on quite an impressive show. In a land where real magic is common, her stage magic was quite unusual and remarkable. I realized that she had gotten a rather small recompense for her efforts though, so I thought I might offer to take her out for dinner. She’s a proud mare and resisted at first, but I managed to persuade her. Best idea of my life. We spent hours at the restaurant. The waiter got a heck of a tip to keep up the coffee and snacks and leave us alone. Trixie stayed a week in Ponyville, but when she left, I went with her. I toured Equestria with Trixie and was her stage assistant. When we eventually came back to Ponyville, I asked Twilight to marry us. We’re now expecting our first child.”

I smiled. “Trixie insisted that you stick around last Season?”

Anthromark returned my smile. “Yep.”

“Seems like you have had quite an ideal life,” stallion Marklestia commented.

“No argument from me, but you two seem to have had a more significant one. You’ve really done a lot for your Equestrias while I’ve just been an onlooker.”

I shook my head. “None of us had a choice of circumstances. Just because you didn’t get the same opportunities as we did doesn’t mean that your life means any less. I know I would have been happy touring around with Trixie too. At least I get some private shows at the palace.”

Male Marklestia nodded in agreement. “Same here.”

“Seems a bit too tame to me,” Mark Griff said.

Stallion Marklestia levitated the bottle of poison joke potion. “Then how about a dare? Take a swig and see what happens.”

The griffon eyed the potion uncertainly but knew he had backed himself into a corner. He shrugged. “Can’t be much worse than you two.”

He took the bottle in his talons, drank a swig, and put the stopper back in. There was a flash of magic as the poison joke’s curse took instant effect. I don’t know which of us started laughing first, but the tiny pink earth pony filly that took the griffon’s place didn’t join in.

“You have got to be shitting me!” she squeaked. “Where’s the antidote?!”

Male Marklestia picked up the filly in his magic and brought her into a hug. “Don’t worry, dear – daddy’s got you.”

We all roared with laughter as the foal sputtered in outrage.

“Next!” I declared, picking up the bottle from the floor. I held it out to Anthromark who grinned and took it. “I won’t tempt fate, but I bet I will deal with whatever happens better than our tough griffon Mark.”

He drank a dose and handed it back to me before the magic took hold. At first, I thought he had disappeared, but then I focused on a tiny creature hovering in midair.

“He’s a breezie!” exclaimed Unimark.

An anthro breezie, as it turned out.

“Now I know what a bug feels like!” exclaimed Anthromark, barely audibly. As promised, he wasn’t freaking out.

We all turned to look at the remaining Mark. The unicorn groaned.

“I suppose I must, even if I’m not curious.” He took the bottle, eyed the blue contents dubiously, and then sighed. “Here goes nothing.” He took a swig and passed the flask back to me.

At first, nothing seemed to happen. Then he started to expand like a balloon being inflated. This continued until he started floating off the floor, rising until he bounced off the ceiling like a helium balloon.

“I hope you’re all happy now,” he said in a long-suffering tone.

“Perfectly!” I replied, switching to my short-maned Celestial form. I used my magic to pull Unimark down from the ceiling as I said to Twilight, “Could you grab my camera? I want to take a group photo.”

“Sure thing, Mark,” she replied with a grin. It popped into the air in front of me.

“No! I don’t wanna be photographed like this!” objected the filly.

“Who will know besides those in this room?” male Marklestia asked, holding the pink pony firmly.

I got my group photos including a macro shot of Breezie Mark and then asked Spike to draw a bath and add some poison joke cure to it.

“Already done,” he replied. “As soon as the first Mark took some, I knew it would be needed.”

“Thanks, buddy. Okay, guys – bath time!”

Male Marklestia opted to stay that way for now.

“Might as well make this an all-male Mark party. Besides, I haven’t had the opportunity to be my other self for a while. I don’t have the ability to change at a whim, unfortunately.”

We had dinner once everyone else was restored to normal. We talked about all the little differences between our worlds while Twilight eagerly asked questions.

Afterwards, my wife dragged the alicorn away to let us chat in peace and generally be stallions. We drank some Last Clutch whiskey and had a few laughs. Sooner than anyone thought possible, it was late and time to show our guests to their rooms for the night. The five of us… or would it be the five of me?... were bantering back and forth in the hallway on the way upstairs when Trixie and Twilight walked up to us and all conversation stopped. Twilight had an expectant look on her face but was interrupted before she could get out a word.

Mark Griff smirked and said, “I’ve got one bit that says Trixie can’t tell which of us is her husband, just by the way we kiss. Any takers?”

Twilight’s eyes grew wide and she looked at her co-regent. Her mouth closed as whatever she had wanted to say to all the Marks apparently got put on the back burner.

I was about to shoot down the proposal when Trixie spoke up first. “The Great and Perspicacious Trixie will bet you all ten bits each that not only can Trixie tell who is my husband, but Trixie can identify each of you by kiss as well.” I recognized her confident tone. The most recent time I heard it was when I challenged her to explain a magic act we had seen in the Canterlot Royal Theater… done by an earth pony. I won’t reveal what the stakes were, but it was something I valued more than a few bits.

Anthro Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at me. “Any objections, Celestee-Mark?” I wasn’t in love with his nickname for me but the bipedal pegasus figured that it fit my situation more than my mare counterpart. The name had stuck but I supposed it could have been much worse.

I shook my head. “I’m fully aware of who gets to decide what my wife does and doesn’t do of her own recognizance.” Four answering grins let me know the feeling was mutual with regard to their own mates.

Trixie gave me a smile that she reserved for when I or anypony else said something obvious. She then held out a hoof. “Twilight. Blindfold, please.”

The purple mare clopped her forehooves together joyfully. “Actually, I could whip up a localized light-absorbing field that—”

Trixie interrupted. “Please allow the stage magician her props, my dear.” My wife’s latest affectation was to add ‘dear’, ‘honey’, ‘sugar’, and other sweet ways to address others at random times. I speculated that it was due to her pregnancy and was sure that would fade away after a while just as the Alternate Tuesday Manestyle had done.

Twilight shrugged and her horn glowed, causing a large envelope to appear on her outstretched hoof. From it, the purple alicorn pulled out a wide strip of black cloth. “Shall I?” At Trixie’s nod, Twilight’s magic wrapped the silk blindfold around Trixie’s head and knotted it.

Twilight turned to face the five of us. “I’ll be casting a sound deadening spell so Trixie can’t get clues from hearing how you move up to her. ” She drew in another breath to say more but paused. “Umm… hmm.”

The purple mare trotted forward until her nose was buried in my mane. She took a deep whiff then turned to Unicorn Mark and did the same. Both of us shared a one-eyebrow-raised look of surprise. Twilight pulled her head back and beamed at both of us. Moving back to Trixie’s side, she cheerfully said, “In addition, because you all don’t share exactly the same scent, I’ll suppress everypony’s sensitivity to olfactory stimuli during this experiment.”

“But garlic is good for you!” protested Unimark.

“Onions too!” joked my anthropomorphic twin.

“Let me tell you about these splendid mice I caught…” started my griffon self.

Twilight raised her voice to break through our chuckles. “Anyway! Muzzles… uh… mouths touching mouths only. I will choose the order by a pseudo-random process that uses the tens place value of the thirteenth root of a one to two hundred digit number.” A scroll appeared in her hoof, one end gripped there and the other rolling away on the floor. “Trixie, are you ready?”

My wife nodded, the confident smile on her face unwavering.

Twilight said, “Begin.” Her horn glowed fuchsia and a hemisphere of the same color surrounded all of us. As promised, all ambient sound went away. Breathing in through my nose revealed my sense of smell was likewise disabled. Griffon Mark started jumping up and down with a huge grin on his face, making no noise whatsoever. Moments later, the rest of us were doing the same, hopping around like a bunch of crazed schoolcolts. The amount of alcohol in our systems probably had something to do with it.

Eventually, I noticed Twilight waving a forehoof to get our attention, then she pointed at the griffon in our midst. OK, fine. Get that one out of the way first. As he walked up, he motioned for Twilight to turn Trixie sideways so the rest of us could see what would happen next. Twilight did so, drawing a protest from my wife that would never be known.

Perhaps before Trixie was entirely ready, Mark Griff lightly pressed his beak to Trixie’s lips. After a few seconds of smooches, they both opened their mouths and wrestled with their tongues in a manner far more gentle than I would have expected from anyone from that carnivorous species. After breaking the kiss, the griffon proudly strutted back to the rest of us, hamming it up for all he was worth. I found myself laughing along with the other Marks. To my surprise, I did not mind the other me giving my wife a kiss. I felt entirely secure that my Trixie was my Trixie… something I doubt I would have felt if I was still a human.

Speaking of humans, Twilight next picked the anthro stallion. He knelt down and almost lifted Trixie’s chin with a hand before catching himself. Instead, he went from kneeling to all fours then leaned forward. His specialty turned out to be gently nibbling on Trixie’s lips when not kissing more deeply. That made me frown. I honestly didn’t know if Trixie liked that or not. I’d have to find out. I did not expect this exercise to be educational.

Twilight read another number from down her list, closed her eyes for a few seconds, then pointed at me. Well then. I wasn’t going to make it easy. I shifted to my short-maned Marklestia form and kissed my wife from slightly to the side, moving my muzzle away and coming in from a different angle each time she tried to compensate. When she stopped twisting her head in an attempt to follow mine, I gave her a strong kiss that ended by pulling gently at her tongue with mine, which was something I had never done. Returning to my stallion form as I rejoined the others, I saw plenty of laughter, smiles, and applause. One plus about having so many of me around, I didn’t have to explain why I did what I did. They all already knew.

As I turned around, stallion Marklestia was just getting close to Trixie. He gave me a wink before practically attacking my wife’s lips, demanding entry. One very deep and energetic kiss later, he returned to find the griffon whistling silently with a circle of two talons just inside his mouth.

Unicorn me stared straight at Trixie as he approached, only to veer to the side at the last moment. Pulling Twilight into his forelegs, he swept her off her hooves as he passionately kissed the surprised mare. I laughed so hard I fell over. After I could look up again, I saw him pantomiming a question to Twilight, asking if Trixie was the mare he was supposed to kiss. After rolling his eyes and bouncing a hoof off his forehead, he set the purple mare back on her hooves and moved off towards Trixie. A quick jump on his part let all of us know Twilight had given him a telekinetic pinch on the rump for his transgression. Despite Twilight’s narrow-eyed glare, I was sure I could see a hint of a smile at the end of her lips.

Trixie looked a touch anxious, clearly uncomfortable at the unexpected delay. Unicorn Mark tilted his head back and forth a couple of times as if deciding what to do next. He settled for a quick peck on the lips then immediately headed back to the rest of the stallions. On the way, he caught Twilight’s eye. He pointed at her and nodded his head, then pointed behind himself and shook it. This was followed by a grinning leer and a lascivious wink. Unsurprisingly, his gait hitched again when Twilight’s horn glowed.

Twilight released her spell and unknotted the blindfold. She then levitated it into the envelope which disappeared with a flash.

Trixie’s self-assured smile was back. She looked at Twilight then each of the stallions arrayed in front of her. Being the showmare she was, she waited to draw out the tension and also be sure she had the audience’s full attention. “Griffon Mark, Tiny, my Mark who was trying to be tricky, Marklestia, and Unicorn Mark who seems to think purple alicorns are tasty.”

All of the stallions whooped, clapped, and stamped their hooves. Meanwhile, Twilight gaped— her end of the scroll dropped and forgotten as it bounced away from her. “How… how did you know about that?!”

“A professional stage magician never gives up her secrets.”

“Indeed.” Griffon Mark came up close to Trixie and waved his clawed hands dramatically, producing a stack of ten gold bits seemingly out of thin air. “I acknowledge your flawless victory.”

Trixie took the coins in her magic and beamed. “Trixie hopes you have all learned something today.”

“That all Trixies are truly Great and Powerful!” said Mare Mark, which was met with another round of cheering. Trixie smiled even wider and trotted up to my side, where I gave her my ‘I love you dearly’ kiss.

Twilight appeared to have recovered, from both the snogging and my wife’s insight. “Well, actually, since you are all here, I came out to ask our guest Marks for a favor.” All eyes turned to her as she clopped her hooves together excitedly. “This is such a great opportunity! Would all of you mind letting me run a couple of tests? I still don’t know exactly what magical and biological factors you have in common, and I don’t know the next time there will be this chance for the advancement of Science!” She finished with a beaming smile that was met with guarded looks and a couple of Marks retreating a step.

“Count me out.”

“It’s past my bedtime.”

“Ahhhhhhh…. I’ll pass, thanks.”

“You mean willingly go to the Basement of Terror?”

Twilight’s smile didn’t waver. Instead, she reached into her saddlebag and pulled out four ballpoint pens, arrayed in a fan-pattern extending from her hoof. The identical gasps and wide-eyed looks from the three stallions and griffon around me were hilarious.

“Well, I suppose I could help out… you know… for Science.”

“Since we’re guests here in your castle, it would only be polite to provide you with some assistance.”

“I guess I can make time. I’m not that sleepy yet.”

“Yeah, I want that pen!”

Twilight tucked the pens away as she turned and trotted down the hall. “An extra two pens for the Mark who is the best test subject.”

Unicorn Mark asked, “Anything you can think of for extra credit?”

The purple mare said, “No!”, but I think her tail swished a bit more than it normally would.

Trixie nudged me in the side. I turned to see her smirking at me. “Just like showing a shiny toy to a foal.”

I glared back at her. “I know exactly who you are talking about right now, and that particular Mark didn’t follow Twilight to his science-y doom.”

My wife condescendingly patted me on the head. “Such a smart stallion. Trixie was so wise to not trade you in for a newer model.”

I growled playfully. “Perhaps we can retire to my room and we’ll see if this ‘old dog’ can come up with any new tricks.”

The blue mare held out a forehoof and I took it in mine. We started heading for the nearest stairwell. “A perfect way to spend quality time, Dowser.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

SIGAWESOME won our vote for favorite poison joke transformation and wanted us to show some love for the postal service. Therefore, Rainy Days became our victim for the penguin-winged "alicorn". :rainbowlaugh:

BTW – All the effects on the alternate world Marks were decided before the competition.

Anthromark pic by Toxi De Vyne who drew this for me at the FurDU convention.
The four Marks pic is by Pinefool.
Male Marklestia was modified from a pic by Craptastics and had a background by Limedreaming inserted by me.

Chapter 60 - An Interesting Week

While it had been fun getting together with my other selves on the weekend, Monday saw me back to work as usual with Trixie and I holding the morning session of Day Court. Twilight had also gotten up early so she could wait for her husband to arrive from his hive. I had a feeling she was eager to tell him about some of the things she had learned that weekend. After a pretty standard session and then a break for lunch, I went to my scheduled training with Crimson Boulder. That afternoon was brutal. Crimson had obtained the services of a lightning wrangler named Blue Arc from the Cloudsdale Weather Factory a few weeks ago and they had been working on techniques that took advantage of my ability to handle lightning. I remembered Twilight talking about having him calibrate the lightning system in her wind tunnel, but the subsequent lessons with him had never materialized due to his and my schedules never lining up. Now with my secret out and my self-defense a national priority, arrangements had been made for his time.

Blue Arc had obtained permission from the Canterlot Weather Service to bring in a small storm cloud to utilize for generating the massive electrical bolts. Of course, we couldn’t use the usual training grounds for this purpose and, instead, located ourselves on the plateau from where I was first pushed off in an attempt to teach me to fly. I had almost accidentally set off some lightning then when I crashed into a cloud and it was obvious why in hindsight. But just because I had a talent for generating it didn’t mean that I was good at controlling it yet. Between Crimson and Blue, they worked out a way to challenge me to bolster my defenses and work on some new attacks. After my alter-ego became publicly known, I had smirked and switched to Marklestia form for the next training session, handling it all with ease. I made the mistake of feeling a bit too full of myself and bragged a little. Blue Arc’s only response was to give Crimson a knowing glance and nod.

“Good,” Blue said, “Now we can finally go up to the next level.”

Me and my big mouth. If I thought I had worked hard before, my instructors cured me of that delusion. But I was learning. The pegasus showed me how to better harness the power being thrown at me, and my special ability allowed me to store the electricity in my cells and then release it at will. My aim was rough but that still managed to impress Blue. Usually, the lightning wranglers used the power to charge the weather factories systems and let it go in a controlled fashion into massive batteries. Then again, none of them was a pegacorn with my additional capabilities. Nevertheless, I was exhausted by the time I dragged myself back to the royal suite to freshen up before dinner. Trixie was already there and joined me in the shower to help me clean up. We took a long time cleaning up.

Tuesday was our regularly scheduled all-day session with the nobles and ministry. All three triarchs worked that day on national business. The Treasury was happy to report that we were already seeing the benefits flowing in from the new financial arrangements with the dragons. The First Draconian Bank’s extensive investments into new businesses increased tax revenues and the economy was picking up. Various heads of industries were brought in to further discuss how best to take advantage of this. It was the unglamorous and tiring side of being the co-ruler of a nation but it had its occasional bright moments. Twilight proposed a new festival that would capitalize on all the new alliances we’d been making with the various races. It would also attract special event vendors and entertainers, therefore not just being good for the population’s morale but also for the Canterlot economy. The resolution was passed and the Festival of Friendship was officially a go. Of course, it would take a few months to organize but an appropriate firm date was set. Twilight was confident that she could put it together in that time… with a little bit of help from her friends, naturally.

Wednesday morning, I was delayed getting back from yet another ribbon-cutting ceremony. A sinkhole opened up in the middle of the main thoroughfare for that part of the city. Thanks to heightened security rules, I had to “shelter in place” until the Royal Guard had determined it was safe to continue. I pointed out that I could have flown back to the castle but that was shot down. My guardsponies didn’t like the idea of me traveling between Point A and Point B with any of my possible routes restricted. Once it was determined that a faulty sewer line was the cause, I was allowed to return, though a full hour and a half late.

Hastening back to the interior of the castle, I turned off a side passage towards the conference room where I was supposed to be a long time ago. I stopped when I heard my wife’s voice behind me. Turning my head, I saw Trixie walking down the hallway with a very large bipedal creature that was unfamiliar to me.

I said “Trixie?” to get her attention. She and the ambassador to the Storm King’s Realm turned around as I trotted up to them.

The blue mare said, “Ah! There you are, Patriarch Hotels. The Venerable Kreesach and Trixie just finished a very enjoyable talk.”

The yeti’s form was covered in layers of beautifully patterned silks and he pressed his hands together in front of his chest, possibly in a form of greeting. I didn’t feel any pang of regret this time. It seemed my psyche was no longer bothered by the loss of those appendages.

If the color of his beard was any indication, the ambassador was rather old. I had heard that yetis were quite trim, but the Ambassador’s bulk was nearly the width of his impressive horn-spread. He smiled in a way that emphasized his fangs. If the ambassador had been a human, the expression would be considered condescending. However, this was the first yeti I had met and I couldn’t pretend to know how to read his non-verbal cues. That made me wish one of the Royal Guards present had been a red changeling. I would have to fix that for future meetings.

The ambassador said, “Ah, Prince Mark Wells. A thousand greetings I to you extend from the Storm King. May your empire never know a final sunset and prosperness come from every victory, small and large.”

Not exactly perfect at our language, but I certainly wasn’t going to correct him. It’s not as if I knew even one word of his tongue. I bowed fractionally. “I apologize for the delay, ambassador. Sometimes I feel my security controls me rather than the other way around.”

The old yeti’s head leaned back and he laughed freely. He then said, “Oh, this is problem same, everywhere, I think. Much like twenty protective swans a single chick guarding. Yes, I know this problem well.”

He was probably talking about his travels in the Storm King’s empire because he had no guards with him here… or perhaps about the Storm King’s personal security.

I said, “I am ready to sit down with you now if you would like.”

My wife said, “Never mind that, Honey. Trixie has already taken care of the diplomatic niceties. You may get to know Dear Kreesach over lunch.” With a toss of her tail, she started down the corridor. I fought my urge to roll my eyes as I trotted up beside my wife. Again with the sweetie-pie affectations.

The blue mare smiled. “Since we had so long to wait, Trixie had the chance to tell our honored guest about Trixie’s plans for the Friendship Festival.”

Wait, she did? Despite it being her pet project, Twilight had not hesitated to enlist both my help and Trixie’s for organizing the festival. I was the stallion in charge of security and coordinating with all of the Canterlot vendors and tradesponies. Trixie was in charge of entertainment and Twilight had her hooves full with everything else.

“Oh? Pray tell.”

Trixie’s smile answered my question before her words did. “Sadly, you missed that chance, Embark Smells. I’m afraid it will have to remain our secret.” She looked up at the yeti and they shared a conspiratorial chuckle. She looked back to me. “I have invited the ambassador to the Festival, in the name of Friendship.”

Glancing back, I saw that same smile as before. “Ah, yes. This one hopes he can be there. For the name of Friendship, of course.”

On Thursday, Trixie and I had lunch in the Canterlot Castle dining room with two very excited expectant parents… well, Twilight was so energized that she bounced in her seat while Thorax sat there with a supportive smile for his wife. The purple mare was definitely excited enough for both of them.

“… and I thought ‘wouldn’t it be great to have the exact same room in the hive for our foal and also in my palace?’ The hive workers I have living in both places could easily make that happen! I mean, that way, the little cherub would be in a familiar, comforting location no matter what! What do you think?”

Trixie said, “I—” only to be cut off by Twilight.

“Except 54% of the articles and 34% of the books I read on foal-rearing recommend lots of variety to encourage active brain development; which makes sense when you think about it, though the quality of the research data is admittedly poor in the newer articles and laughably biased in the earliest books, skewing the results to the point they are pretty much just guesstimations.”

Thorax’s smile was starting to look strained. My wife tried again. “You could—”

No use. “And don’t get me started on what décor to choose. And did you know how widely disparate foals’ toys are just among the tribes? Not to mention between species. And hubby and I have decided to be surprised by the sex and makeup of the foal. No high-tech scans to give us any clues beyond the health of our Little Sprouting Legacy.” She giggled at her cute pet name.

Despite the brief pause, Trixie once again failed to get in a word edgewise.

“Thorax and I are considering having a permanent portal set up between the Crystal Hive and Friendship Castle. Though that’s a bit of a misnomer. Because the daggerscale portals only last a couple of hours, and mirror portals can only go between realms, the gender-swapped Twilight agreed to wall off a small closet for me which would house two portals facing each other. Portal… step… portal and we’re there! Although I have to run tests to make sure there are no molecular side effects from multiple portal transitions in quick succession. But it’s all for the foal so it’s worth the time and effort, right?”

I could hear the strain in my wife’s voice and saw her ears twitch. “That’s—”

Twilight wasn’t paying attention. Instead, she had lifted her hooves skywards while looking up. “And don’t even get me started on education! No matter what, Miss Cheerilee will need help teaching our foal.” She leaned her head to the side. “There’s all the Equestrian princess stuuuuuff…” Leaned it the other way. “…and all the changeling princess stuuuuuff…” Back to the middle. “…and everything about nature that Zecora has offered to teach our little one. I can only imagine you are going through the same.”

Trixie said, “Act—”

“Fortunately, we have Rarity poised on a moment’s notice to provide a wardrobe in no-time flat! I don’t know what I’d do if everything wasn’t perfect for our little foal…”

This was going to be a very long lunch. I leaned back in my chair and sighed heavily, only to hear the exact same sound directly across from me. I looked up to see a resigned look on Thorax’s face that doubtless matched my own. He, likewise, had slumped back in his chair at exactly the same time I had.

Both of us burst out laughing, almost drowning out Twilight, who only shot a couple of quick glances our way. She leaned forward with wide eyes, looking desperate to keep Trixie’s attention. “… from the Crystal Empire to remind him of his heritage, and crystal is the perfect material for a crib. That’s because…”

Friday afternoon, Cadance and Shining paid us a visit with Sunburst looking after Flurry Heart and the changeling nanny whom we learned was named Brachia keeping her eye on Shiny Button. The ponyling was evidently excited to be visiting Canterlot and he was proving to be a handful. Or should that be a hoofful?

“How’s your new son been behaving?” I asked his parents when Twilight and Trixie were amusing themselves with the foals elsewhere while we sat down for tea.

“I have never known such a curious child,” Cadance said with a smile.

“I should know,” groaned Shining Armor. “I’ve had to dig him out of all kinds of places. If it wasn’t for Brachia, I’m not sure I would have even found him a couple of times.”

I chuckled. “Besides that, how are you both coping with a changeling foal?”

Interestingly, Cadance was quiet but looked toward her husband. Shining paused for a long moment, mixed emotions flickering through his expressions before he replied, “I was quite prepared to hate him. It’s bad enough that his mother is Chrysalis, but he’s also the result of her raping me. I have every reason for not wanting him around but… he’s just so darn… nice! I mean, I was sure I was going to think of nothing but how Chrysalis used me to make him every time I looked at him, but then he just smiles happily at me and tells me how much fun he’s having, and I find it impossible to be mad at him.”

Cadance gave him a poke with a hoof. “Tell him!”

The stallion rolled his eyes. “Cady – they don’t have to know every little thing.”

“It isn’t little. Tell him!”

Shining sighed. “Alright. I had just found Button after he escaped Brachia once again. I discovered him playing with Flurry under Sunburst’s watchful eyes. Sunburst informed me that Flurry had been a bit difficult that morning, but once Button arrived, she settled down and they had been playing peacefully ever since. I went over to Button and asked him why he was here instead of with his nanny. He told me that he felt that Flurry needed him. That surprised me but I said, ‘I want you to listen to Sunburst and play nicely with your sister.’ He gave me that adorable smile of his and replied, ‘Okay, daddy. Love you!’ Then he hugged me before returning to play with Flurry. I then left to tell Brachia where Button was.”

Cadance smirked and said, “What my tough as nails hubby hasn’t said is that he lost his heart to Button then.”

Shining blushed. “He’s my son and I have accepted that. Why shouldn’t I care about him?”

“Then you shouldn’t have problems that any other couple with two young foals would have,” I said.

“It’s not that simple, Mark!”

“Oh? What am I missing?”

“He’s the eldest!”

“So?”

“It means that by royal right of succession, Button is heir to the Crystal Empire’s throne.”

“I hope it’s called the Crystal Principality by that time,” I commented.

Shining stared at me for a moment before face-hoofing. “You don’t get it! How will the citizens react to the fact that a changeling may be their future ruler?”

“Given the fact that it’s extremely unlikely to happen for a very long time, especially considering Cadance’s potential longevity, I think they’ll have time to get used to the idea.”

“Are you serious? A changeling ruling a pony kingdom?”

I shrugged. “Why not? Your sister is now a Hive Mother.”

“It’s not the same though!”

“I concede that the role is far different, but no less a huge change to the status quo. In fact, I reckon that Thorax’s hive is going through a much greater upheaval than the Crystal Empire.”

“You seem awfully confident that the crystal ponies will accept Button.”

“Prince Button,” I corrected. “It’s not as if you don’t have an excellent example to go by. You’ve met Chryssy. Not only is she an honored and respected co-ruler of the Crystal Empire, but her offspring are also recognized as heirs to the throne. Why should Button’s situation be any different?”

Shining sighed. “When you put it like that, I suppose I’m overreacting.”

“Give it some time, my friend. It’s not as if I adjusted quickly to my rude introduction to Equestria. Now I am married and expecting a foal and it’s awesome. Life has thrown some pretty crazy things at both of us but we’ve learned to cope and found out that things weren’t so bad.”

The stallion chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Cadance said, “At last! Nothing I said seemed to get through to you.”

“Sorry, Cadance,” I said. “Sometimes a guy just needs to talk to another guy about these things. Don’t worry – I still think you’re a great therapist.”

The pink alicorn giggled. “It’s not as if I can change gender like a certain somepony.”

“I’m not ashamed to cheat,” I replied with a grin. “So how do you feel now that you’ve gotten used to your expanded family, Cadance?”

The mare returned my smile then looked thoughtful. “I never would have expected having a second foal so soon would be so rewarding. Our lives have truly been blessed.” She gave a loving glance at her husband and swished her tail.

Just then, two energetic youngsters burst into the room, closely followed by their caretakers and my wife. Flurry made a beeline for her mother but Button bounded up to Shining Armor.

“Daddy! Miss Trixie showed us some neat tricks!”

The stallion picked up his son in his forelegs and sat back on his rump. “So, you’ve been enjoying the visit, Button?”

“Yeah!’ the colt replied enthusiastically.

“Then we’ll have to visit Aunt Trixie more often.”

Trixie smiled smugly. “Foals know Great and Powerful magic when they see it.”

“Preaching to the converted, hon,” I replied, but my eyes remained on sire and offspring. Shining was hugging Button and, judging by the expression on the ponyling, he was lapping up some quality love. I smiled. No wonder a whole race could subsist on the positive emotions of another – ponies had so much love to give. Shining just needed a little reassurance that its recipient deserved it. But Button was his son and I never doubted the outcome. I only hoped this former human could be just as good a father.

One of the true pleasures of Saturday mornings is the late sleep-in. Combine that with snuggles with my wife and then a leisurely breakfast with our host, Twilight, and you have the start to a great weekend. This one began that way, at least. Then Rainbow Dash abruptly burst into the dining room.

“It’s a disaster!” she cried.

We immediately went on alert. The pegasus wasn’t prone to seeking help for a problem if she didn’t think she could handle it herself.

Penny’s replacement for the day put himself between the pegasus and me and grasped the hilt of his sword in his teeth.

I called out, “It’s alright, Staunch Blade. Let her through.”

“What’s wrong, Rainbow?” Twilight asked.

Pushing herself past the earth pony guard, Dash held her forehooves on the sides of her head as if to contain her horror. “AK Yearling is retiring! There won’t be any more Daring Do books!”

I groaned. All this drama over some cheesy novels? Twilight had told me how she managed to get the pegasus interested in reading through them and Dash loved the stories, but it was hardly the end of the world if the author wanted to put away the typewriter. To my surprise, however, Twilight looked equally shocked.

“What?! Do you know why?” the alicorn asked.

Rainbow Dash waved a copy of the Ponyville Chronicle in front of her. “No, the article only said that she was quitting. But a pony like her just wouldn’t do something like that out of the blue.”

“What’s so weird about that?” I asked. “Maybe she got tired of writing.”

Dash was suddenly in my face. “A world-famous author and adventurer like her doesn’t!”

I blinked. “Adventurer? Just because she writes that stuff doesn’t make her one. I admit I’m not too much into Yearling’s works – I find Daring Do’s adventures a tad unrealistic. And although they weren’t dull, I usually prefer reading a book that’s a bit more sophisticated than an Indiana Jones knock-off.”

“A who what now?” Rainbow asked. Then she shook her head. “Forget I asked. Something from your human world, I suppose. But you’re wrong about AK’s stories because they’re all true!”

“Ha! Pull the other one, Dash!”

Twilight said, “Rainbow! You can’t tell him that.”

My ears pricked up. I smelled something interesting that Twilight thought I shouldn’t know. “Tell me more, Dash.”

“We’ve met Daring Do – she’s a real pony, not a story character.”

Twilight facehoofed. I smirked. “Sure she is. I bet Yearling has somepony cosplay her character for hardcore fans like you.”

“No – AK Yearling is Daring Do, and we’ve been on an adventure with her.”

“Rainbow Dash! That’s supposed to be a secret!” Twilight scolded the pegasus.

“Not you too, Twi?” I asked with one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

Twilight sighed. “Might as well tell you the rest. Daring Do is a real pony just as Rainbow said. She’s a professional archeologist who funds her expeditions by selling books about her adventures. AK Yearling is her pen name and an alter ego to take to book signings and conventions. Yes, her stories are dramatized versions of her experiences but the core events are genuine.”

I was briefly stunned. Then I considered all the fantastic adventures that I’d had and realized that it wasn’t so farfetched after all. “Okay, I suppose it could be true, but it still isn’t the end of the world.”

Rainbow Dash’s expression hardened. “No, there’s something wrong, I just know it. Come on!”

She grabbed my foreleg and started dragging me out of the room.

“Wait! What do you think you’re doing?” I protested.

“We’re going to visit AK Yearling and you’re going to see for yourself that she’s not only real but she’s also in some sort of trouble.”

I looked back helplessly to Trixie who merely said, “Be back in time for Monday afternoon’s Day Court session, Tanbark Upswells.”

Abandoned by my wife! Sure, she wasn’t going to go on anything too adventuresome now that she was pregnant, but the least she could have done was to rescue me from the obsessed pegasus.

“Hold up, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight cried out.

At last, somepony was intervening in this craziness.

Twilight continued, “You’ll save a lot of time if you use one of the daggerscale portals.” She started heading out of the room.

“What?! You’re going to waste our limited resources on this?” Then a thought occurred to me. “And how come there’s a portal anchor near AK Yearling’s place anyway?”

“The anchors are set up everywhere – I’m just sending you to the one nearest her home.”

I might have found that more credible if she wasn’t avoiding looking me in the eyes.

Twilight said, “OK, the oversize scales that can accommodate someone as large as Torch are still hard to come by, but Starlight and Moon Dancer found a way to mass enchant a roomful of the pony-sized portals. Thanks to the latest delivery from Queen Novo, we literally have thousands of spares now.”

And so, I found myself stepping out onto a path that wound through a forest. I had put on my travelling cloak for protection from any weather that might crop up. The fact that it hid my cutie mark was a bonus. After I planted the replacement scale-topped pole, I didn’t get the chance to look around because Dash immediately began to drag me away once more. I gave in to the inevitable and stopped resisting. It was only a matter of a couple of minutes before we came to a neat little cottage which further cemented my suspicions about the convenience of the location of the anchor. The remote glade in which the house lay probably made for a peaceful place to work on Yearling’s stories but it hardly seemed a strategic military location. Only then did I realize that my substitute bodyguard-shadow wasn’t with me. I guessed he’d catch up eventually.

Rainbow immediately hammered on the door to the cottage, calling out Yearling’s name. When there was no response, she grew even more agitated and pounded again.

“She’s not answering. Maybe something has happened to her. She could be in big trouble!” she wailed.

“Or she could be just ignoring you,” I said drolly.

“Waddya mean?”

I pointed to the window through which I could barely see a pony slumped in a chair. “Looks like she’s shaking her head a lot, but that’s hardly a crisis.”

So, what does Dash do? Doubles down on bashing the door with her hoof.

“AK! It’s me – Rainbow Dash! Your friend! Let me in!”

That seemed to motivate the pony inside to slide off her chair and slowly head for the door. It opened and an orange coated mare with what looked like a greyscale version of Rainbow’s mane, wearing large glasses and a maroon cloak, answered the door. After glancing at Dash, she looked at me and raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“You brought a prince with you, Dash?” In hindsight, I shouldn’t have been surprised that the worldly author would recognize me right away, despite the cloak.

“Mark’s cool, AK. But we’re here because of you. What’s this crazy idea about retiring?”

Yearling sighed and turned around, heading back inside. As she left the door wide open, Rainbow took that as an invitation to come in and I followed her. The first thing that I noticed was what were obviously relics scattered all around the room, some in the process of being packed up. This gave a lot more credence to the assertion that AK Yearling was an archaeologist too. The jury was still out on the fantasy alter ego though.

“Whoa! This place looks like it’s been ransacked!” Dash said. “Have you been attacked by Caballeron again?”

“No, nothing like that, Dash.”

“Then what’s going on? You love this stuff, so why are you saying you want to retire?”

AK said, “There’s nothing to tell. It’s just time for me to put away the typewriter. I explained it all to the Ponyville Chronicle.”

Rainbow held up the aforementioned newspaper and started reading from it. “ ‘Author AK Yearling announced yesterday that the next adventure novel in her popular series, Daring Do and the Curse of the Pharaoh’s Tomb, will be her last. Yearling looks forward to her retirement.’ That doesn’t explain anything! All it tells me is that you’re giving up writing stories and having adventures. Maybe an ordinary mare would do that but we know that you’re not. What the public doesn’t know is that the stories are real and you’re actually Daring Do, the adventurer who laughs at danger and never gives up when she’s in trouble.”

“Hsst! Ixnay!” AK said, inclining her head toward me.

“It’s okay – Mark Wells knows you’re Daring Do.”

I said, “Actually, I believe that you put yourself in the role of your character. I admit that it helps the reader get immersed in your stories. Anyway, Dash dragged me here when she learned that you were retiring but I think she’s overreacting. If she’s as good a friend as she claims to be, she should be supportive of your decision.” I gave the pegasus a meaningful look.

“Uh, right. Of course, if you really want to do that, it’s fine. You just haven’t told us why yet.”

AK waved a hoof. “Okay, fine. If you really want to know, my last quest took me to a village in southern Equestria where I started seeing these.” She dug a folder out of a chest. Upon opening it, there were numerous clippings inside.

We began reading the headlines. “ ‘Wake of Destruction: Daring Do Ruins Entire Marketplace’ … ‘Dare or Scare: Local Rogue Daring Do Involved in Frightful Fiasco’ … ‘Daring Do Leads Minotaur Bull into China Shop During High-speed Chase’…”

“That’s enough!” AK cried. “Every pony I try to help is angry with me instead.”

“Technically speaking, they’re mad at Daring Do,” I said, “but what brought this about?”

“I guess that I was so focused on saving the relics and defeating the bad guys that I didn’t notice the mess that I was leaving in my wake.”

I swept a wing to indicate the house full of relics. “But you’ve obviously been doing this for years, so why is this only becoming a problem now?”

“I don’t know. Maybe this was the last straw. Either way, my adventuring days are over – having or writing.”

Rainbow frowned. “Come on! There have to be thousands of ponies who appreciate what you’ve done for them versus this hoofful in this village—” Dash looked down at the clippings. “—Som-nam-bu-la.”

I looked critically at the articles. “Wait. All these are from the same newspaper? Are you sure you didn’t just earn the wrath of one snubbed journalist?”

The author and adventurer looked forward intently for a moment, then dropped her head. “It doesn’t matter. I leave a trail of destruction everywhere I go. I’m sure the same things are said about me everywhere.”

“But you don’t know that!” protested Rainbow Dash. “Look, why don’t we go there and sort this out? There’s got to be an explanation for all this and we’ll see what a heap of rotten apple cores these articles are!”

For the first time, AK looked hopeful. “You really think so?”

“I know so! Let’s go there right now!”

I said, “All the way down to southern Equestria? That’ll take days for a round trip. We can’t do that. Trixie will flay me if I’m not back in time.”

Dash nodded. “You’re right. Let’s go back to the castle and get Twilight to open another portal down that way.”

I sighed in resignation. I knew there was no point in trying to argue with the colorful mare.

“A portal?” AK queried as she put on a large floppy hat that hid her mane. “What am I missing?”

As we headed out the door, I replied, “Seeing as the one that we used to get here should still be open, you’ll soon find out.”

Despite Rainbow Dash’s heartfelt predictions, what we found in the quaint desert village of Somnambula was a horde of ponies justifiably angry at Daring Do. Apple carts destroyed, rude behavior, and bills not paid were just the start. Those were isolated incidents with individual ponies. The coup de grace was a pile of rubble in the central square that used to be a huge statue of the heroic pony from whom the town took its name. When Rainbow and I cocked an ear towards AK Yearling, she whispered that her battle with a glorified grave robber named Dr. Caballeron and his goons ‘got a bit out of hand’.

No pony could seem to remember much about the doctor or his sidekicks. They did say that Daring Do had burgled their homes over the course of the past three days, which couldn’t be true since it took a pegasus that long to fly to the part of Equestria where the author lived. Neither she nor anypony else had taken the daggerscale portal either, as the identification number on the one we used matched the one placed by the Equestrian Corps of Engineers months ago.

The three of us split up to try to learn more about the recent string of thefts. An hour later, I trotted to the agreed meeting spot at the base of the nearest pyramid that towered over the village. Idly, I wondered about the construction techniques and preservation spells of the ancient civilization that made a structure that could last to the current day and still look brand new. AK Yearling looked up as I approached. “Any luck?” I asked.

The mare adjusted her glasses and frowned. “I got several ponies to admit they had not seen Daring Do for the last few days. There’s just one stallion that no pony can name going around saying he’d seen her slinking out of ponies’ houses.”

I nodded. “Huh. Sounds like a setup to me. I got a long lecture about the town’s patron saint Somnambula. The short version is that over a thousand years ago, she outwitted a sphinx to rescue the prince of the land. Apparently, this beast was ten times the height of a pony and lived in the pyramid ruins about two miles to the east.”

The town’s clock tower chimed in the distance, and we both looked around us and overhead. AK said, “Where’s Rainbow?”

I frowned. “I doubt she’s taking a nap – she’s too keen on clearing your name. If she found a lead, she would have come back to find us. Come on.”

We trotted over to the outskirts of town where we had last seen the blue mare. I pulled up short when my companion held out a hoof to stop me. She was staring intently at the ground at marks in the dirt I couldn’t make sense of.

“Somepony was tied up here.” She shook off her cloak and glasses while trading her hat for a pith helmet, her facial expression deadly serious. Suddenly, any impression that I’d had that the mare was just an overblown legend was wiped away. I had no doubt that I was seeing an experienced and determined adventurer. Daring Do scanned the surroundings until her head stopped. The mare crossed the street and reached into a bush, pulling out a small blue feather. She started galloping towards the desert. “Rainbow was dragged off this way.”

I put my trust in my guide’s tracking skills by staying a couple of body lengths behind her. After a few minutes, we were on a lightly worn trail. Cresting a hill, I saw a large pyramid in the distance. Daring and I passed between two gigantic statues of sphinxes. Curiously, the one on the left was in a much better state of repair. We slowed our pace to a walk as we stepped inside the entryway. I noted with some disquiet that it was more than ten ponies in height above our heads.

“How many ponies?”

“Five. At this point, one was heavier than he was earlier. Obviously carrying Rainbow Dash.”

Both of us started calling out for our friend as we descended into the depths of the structure. I was happy to let my partner take the lead in case there were any traps along the way that she could detect before I blundered into them. We ignored side passages, instead advancing towards a dimly lit opening in the distance.

When we heard Rainbow’s answering calls, we pressed forward as quickly as we dared, coming to a stop in a huge chamber that must have been at the center of the pyramid. Sunlight bounced off of a square column overhead that opened to the sky above. Ancient glyphs of some long-dead language inscribed the walls of the chamber. The most prominent feature was a rectangular pit that filled the center of the room. A viscous, bubbling green liquid filled the bottom of the pool. A stone pillar rose from the pit and tied to the top was a blindfolded blue pegasus.

“We’ll get you out of there, Rainbow!” I called out as I spread my wings. I hesitated as booming laughter filled the chamber, echoing off of every surface.

“Will you, ponies? I think not. Without your flying magic, you will simply watch your friend perish!”

Daring and I took a couple of steps back as a shadow emerged from a landing overhead and leaped down to the chamber floor. It… I suppose she… had the body of a lion and the head of a mare. The resemblance to equines ended when the creature smiled, revealing a set of jagged, sharp teeth that would have looked at home on a shark. She had a deep reddish-purple coat, wings, and a two-tone bluish-purple mane. She wore gold jewelry, including a wide choker, a headpiece, and a single armband. So this was a sphinx. Interesting.

She regarded us with her yellow, slitted eyes. Her smile turned a bit cruel as Daring and I both tried to lift off the ground, only to find that our flying magic was indeed being suppressed somehow. However, as long as unicorn magic was unaffected, I still had my ace-in-the-hole.

“Foolish mortals! Witness the doom of your fellow equine!” With a wave of her paw, the stone pillar began to sink with the sound of stone grinding on stone. Rainbow must have sensed it because her limbs started flailing so quickly that they were a blur.

Despite the danger of the situation, I couldn’t suppress a question. “Aren’t you supposed to be as tall as ten ponies? I mean, you’re not little, but you can’t be more than a couple of ponies high.”

Daring gave me an incredulous stare while the sphinx rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes. I can hardly be held responsible if each generation retelling the story exaggerates more than the last, now can I?”

“Hardly,” I agreed. “In any case, mistress of the pyramid, I challenge you to a contest of riddles.” I was pretty sure that was how things worked with a sphinx, wasn’t it?

The creature’s paw shot out and the pillar stopped its descent. “Foolish pony. I would have freed your compatriot if you had merely answered my one riddle, but now you will have to answer true while presenting me with a riddle I cannot answer.” She leaned closer, showing me all of her teeth. “And I spent centuries learning every riddle there has ever been.”

Rainbow yelled out, “Mark! Stop messing around and kick her sorry flank already!” The sphinx’s self-confident grin slipped a bit.

I laughed and yelled back, “Don’t worry about it, Rainbow. Daring and I have got this!” I glanced over at the adventurer. Her eyes were narrowed and she was looking critically around the chamber. I wanted to know what was the source of her frown, but I didn’t have the luxury of time to ask.

I turned back to the sphinx. “As you now know, my name is Mark. May I ask yours?”

The creature sat back on her haunches and blinked twice. “It’s Asperitrex.” Her grin returned, along with her booming voice effect. I had to assume this was an aspect of her race’s inherent magical abilities. “Now pay attention, little pony, for your friend’s fate depends upon it.” She sat up straighter and her voice took on a melodious tone.

“A box without hinges, key, or lid,…”

I interrupted her before she could finish. “An egg. My turn.” Her wide-eyed look of surprise almost made me chortle, but I had other matters to attend to. So you’ve heard every riddle there is, have you? Let’s see about that. “How is a raven like a writer’s desk?”

This time her mouth hung open to go along with the wide eyes. She recovered quickly, though and began to mutter to herself. “Ah, let’s see… A raven. .. Writer’s desk… Bird… What a bird does… Parts of a bird… Parts of a desk... Supplies…”

She looked up and gave me a haughty grin. “They both have quills!” When I didn’t respond right away, her voice dropped in volume. “… right?”

I beamed. “That’s as good of an answer as I’ve ever heard. Full credit!”

She returned a very warm smile, only to shake her head and glare down at me again. “I see you are wise in the way of puzzles. No matter. My next riddle will confound you!”

I do not breathe, but I run and jump.
I do not eat, but I swim and stretch.
I do not drink, but I sleep and stand.
I do not think, but I grow and play.
I do not see, but you see me every day.

Now that was one I hadn’t heard before. The default answer to lots of riddles ‘shadow’ didn’t work. I tried to think of a creature that would do all of the second and third actions but not the first. After several seconds, I had the suspicion I was on the wrong track.

“Do you admit defeat, mortal?”

I just shook my head, not wanting to say anything aloud that might be taken for my answer. That might work for Bilbo Baggins, but I didn’t think it would work for me. I was tempted to ask Daring for help, but she was… sniffing the rubble at the back of the room? What the buck?

Bringing my attention back to the matter at hoof, I decided to try a different tack. OK, how did Asperitrex go about puzzling through my question? Parts? Like body parts? With that, the answer leaped into my mind.

I smiled. “A leg.”

“Bah! You ponies are so troublesome. Very well. Ask your next question.”

Well, this was all fun and good, but I think it was time to end the game. “Are you ready for a surprise?”

Asperitrex cocked her head to the side. Again, she forgot to make her voice reverberate around the chamber. “What?”

I released the clasp holding my cloak in place while I switched to my long-maned Marklestia form. I spread my wings wide, tossing my cloak away, and used my own magic to amplify my voice. “Surprise!”

“GAH!” The sphinx stumbled backwards a few steps. “No! Stop! Don’t blast me to the moon, Princess Luna!!”

Rainbow Dash laughed, having heard and recognized my change of voice. “I think you mean ‘Princess Celestia’. ”

The sphinx glanced between us, cocking her head. “What kind of name is ‘Princess Sir Lestia’? ”

I used my magic to untie the bow knot securing the rope around Rainbow. A few seconds later, I was levitating her across the pit to come to rest next to Daring Do, who was looking at Asperitrex with a raised eyebrow.

As Rainbow Dash removed her blindfold, the yellow mare said, “Are we done here now?”

The sphinx reared back and threw her arms upwards in exasperation. “Fine! You win the Challenge of the Sphinx! I’d tell you to pick up your complimentary T-shirt at the souvenir stand, but that won’t be open for a while.” Her accent and delivery had changed completely.

She continued, “More than a bit off script, but it was fun for this rehearsal to be something out of the ordinary. Might have to do something about unicorn magic before we open though.” She looked down and tapped the knuckle of one paw against her chin.

Now it was my and Rainbow’s turn to stare with our mouths hanging open.

Not so for Daring Do. She said, “This is all just a set isn’t it? Is this a stage production?”

The sphinx nodded with a bright and friendly smile… which meant she didn’t show her teeth. “Of course! The grand opening of the park isn’t for several weeks. Did you see the big pyramid south of town? The work crew just last week finished doing the outside of it. They have a bunch left to get fixed up in this place. I do double-duty as watch-sphinx on the job site since it’s the weekend. Can’t really stay in town with my size and all.”

Rainbow turned to her idol. “How did you know?”

The yellow mare smiled. “Well, aside from the antagonist breaking character a few times…”

“Hey! I’m just getting used to my role, OK?”

Daring smiled and continued. “…there is fresh plaster and paint on the wall behind us. Plus this.” She held up a paper label.

Moving closer, I read aloud, “Economy-size lime pudding mix. One gross weight.”

Rainbow exclaimed, “You mean that isn’t boiling green acid at the bottom of the pool?”

The sphinx laughed. “As if! Do you think the Southern Equestria Board of Tourism would let us open if there was anything harmful at the theme park? The first thing we did was drain the old goop from the pool and replace it with pudding. The bubbles come from air blowers we just got working yesterday. There’s even a spell over the entrance to warn us if anyone is allergic to limes.”

I switched back to my stallion form, sat down, and gestured with a hoof. “Asperitrex, would you mind telling us how the theme park idea came about?”

“Sure! First, you need to know that I grew up on my great-grandmatron’s stories about her adventures here and other places around Equus.”

Daring Do asked. “Wait. So the sphinx that Somnambula outsmarted is still alive?”

“Yeah, yeah. Rub it in, why don’t you?” Her friendly grin belied her words. “You bet she’s still alive! She runs a falafel restaurant in Catmandu. Anyway, in my hometown south of Abyssinia, I met a venture capitalist from the First Draconian Bank looking for unusual projects. I pitched the idea of a Somnambula theme park and flew the bank rep over here. After a meeting with the town elders, seed money was acquired and we are tentatively looking at the park opening in a couple of months. Like I said, the outside repairs on the big pyramid next to town are already finished. Inside, all excavation work is done, including wall and ceiling reinforcement by hidden steel columns and permanence spells.” The sphinx gave me a hopeful smile. “The hotel and restaurants inside should be open in six weeks if you and your two wives would like to return then.”

I could only sputter while both mares rolled on the ground, holding their stomachs and laughing their asses off.

“Oh, that’s one I’m telling Trixie!” said Rainbow Dash. “It might be safer if you decide to wait here for the hotel to open!”

There was no graceful recovery possible. All I could do was get us back on track. “So what happened when Rainbow was brought here?”

“Oh, yeah! Your five friends dropped her off to play the role of the prince.” The sphinx brought her head down towards the blue pegasus. “And you stayed in character the whole time! Better than me, that’s for sure. I almost believed you really had been foal-napped.”

Rainbow got to her hooves and spread her wings aggressively. “That’s because I was!”

Asperitrex looked at me while pointing at my friend with a claw. “See? A true professional!”

Daring Do asked, “What did the lead pony look like?”

“Hmm. Well, I admit I am not the best at telling you ponies apart. Let’s see. An earth pony. You know what? They were all earth pony stallions. Anyway, the leader had two-tone grey hair that looked kind of nice, actually. I think he was trying to grow a beard. And definitely the kind of pony that thinks he’s better than anyone else.”

The pegasus shifted her pith helmet. “Did he have a golden monkey skull as his cutie mark?”

“Yep. That's him.”

“Caballeron,” Daring said with a snarl.

The sphinx laughed again. “Well, you’ll be happy to know I stayed in character for them at least. I even got them to give me these as ‘payment’ for not eating them.” She reached into a chest and pulled out five necklaces made of square plates of a green stone that gave off its own light.

“Glowpaz,” said the adventurer then looked up into Asperitrex’s eyes. “I’m afraid those are stolen property. May we take them back to town?”

The sphinx’s expression fell. “Bummer. I thought it was a little too good to be true. Well, okay – I don’t want any part of that.” She carefully placed them on the archeologist’s outstretched hoof.

I said, “We’d better go if we want to stand a chance to catch them.” I turned to our host. “Asperitrex, it’s been a pleasure. I hope to see you again the next time we visit.”

Rainbow held up the blindfold. “Do you mind if I keep this as a souvenir? I mean since you don’t have the T-shirts and all.”

The sphinx smiled and waved a paw. “Sure thing. One of the workers found that at the bottom of the pool after we drained it. Once it was cleaned up, it looked as good as new.” She winked at my friend with a smile full of dagger-like teeth. “Who knows? That piece of cloth may date all the way back to the age of Somnambula herself!”

I grinned. Asperitrex was starting to get into the spirit of showmanship…

Show-pony-ship?

Show-sphinx-ship?

You know what? Never mind.

The three of us made up for lost time by flying back to town. Rainbow and I followed Daring Do’s lead and landed behind five earth ponies about to exit the central square, heading north. The rear two ponies were dragging a huge sack between them.

Daring Do spread her forehooves wide. “Caballeron!”

All talk in the square ceased and the villagers turned to look. The earth pony in the lead turned around and smiled. He had a light brownish-gray coat and dark gray mane and tail. A red ascot with white polka dots with a white, collared shirt told me everything I needed to know about his imagined station in life. He pointed at Daring while yelling to the townsponies. “There she is! The one who has been stealing all your jewelry!”

Rainbow scoffed and took to the air. With her trademark blinding speed, she zipped over and struck the bag, splitting it open. Glowpaz necklaces and loose stones cascaded out and onto the ground. The ponies around us gasped. The blue mare landed gracefully between Daring and myself, peering down at a raised forehoof with a disinterested expression while pointing her ears at me. Yes, Rainbow, you are awesome, but this is not the right time to tell you so.

Dr. Caballeron stopped smiling. “You are too late, Daring Do. You and your band of misfits can’t stop me from leaving with my prize.” One of the goons made good on his word by pulling a number of smaller empty sacks from his saddlebags and began to fill them with loot.

Daring’s rival continued. “You should have just stayed beaten. You were a worthy opponent once, but now you are merely another forgotten artifact. Go back to your place as a dusty relic, forever lost on the back shelf of that antique store in the slums of Fillydelpia.”

That reference seemed to hit a nerve with Daring Do and she ground her teeth. Looking past Caballeron and his goons, I noticed Penumbra stalking into town from the north. She wore her full set of armor and had let her shades slip down so I could see her eyes. I knew this was extremely painful to the thestral, but apparently, she wanted me to see her heartless, icy glare. And she was looking directly at me. Well, then. Time to do something about that.

I said to the earth pony, “And do you think you will just walk out of town with everything you have stolen from these good ponies?”

Penumbra stopped in her tracks and her eyes widened.

Caballeron snorted. “My four stallions are the best money can buy. Not you, your friends, nor the ungrateful wretches in this Celestia-forsaken hovel can do anything to stop me.”

Behind him, a grin slowly spread across Penny’s face until she was positively beaming.

I smirked. “I’ll give you five minutes to change your mind.”

The earth pony tilted his head and didn’t respond. That’s fine. I wasn’t talking to him. Penumbra nodded and slid her sunglasses back up to cover her eyes.

Four minutes and five seconds later (Penny was able to entertain herself for a minute with each of the hired thugs, but their leader folded like a wet napkin at the first solid strike), Penny was dusting off her armor.

“Sorry I’m late. I spent a little while imprinting into Staunch Blade’s head that he should not have assumed you and Rainbow were ‘dallying’ and wanted privacy.”

I said to my bodyguard, “So are we good now?”

“Oh absolutely not. But I’ll call this an acceptable early birthday present.” She gave me that smile that promised imminent mayhem. “Now stand still while I ‘thank you’ for my getting called back to work on my day off.”

I fervently hoped this was an empty threat, but the surge of adrenaline cleared my head and gave me an inspiration. I grinned and threw a wing around each of the mares at my sides. “Before you do, let me introduce you to my two new wives.”

Penny snorted. “Yeah, right. As if...” Her smile fell as she looked between Daring Do and Rainbow Dash. “Neither of you are laughing.” All three of us just grinned as we waited.

Finally, Penumbra turned away. “Fine! Punishment for that is above my pay grade. I want no part of this.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” said Rainbow in her best approximation of a low, sultry voice.

“Not listening! Your Highness, I’ll need your help to levitate these five glass jaws to wherever they store the pony trash around here.”

We ended up spending the night at Somnambula as the citizens insisted on celebrating the capture of the true villains and the return of their stolen glowpaz. Daring Do went around the various establishments that she had genuinely affected in her earlier attempts to deal with the Caballeron gang and promised reparations backed by my guarantee as Prince of Equestria. I also commissioned a sculptor to replace the broken statue. As Trixie had given me until Monday morning to get back, I felt safe staying and relaxing a bit. Daring Do was a lot of fun when she wasn’t completely depressed from the bad publicity, and she, Rainbow, Penny, and I enjoyed several drinks at the local bar. It turned into a bit of a drinking contest and I shamelessly cheated by switching to my pegacorn form which had far more capacity for the hard cider. Still, I was glad to be able to sleep it off before going home the next morning. Well… most of it. I had a bit of a headache while levitating the four hired goons to where the daggerscale portal was scheduled to open. Dr. Caballeron had escaped his cell sometime in the very early morning much to the chagrin of the local peacekeepers. The fact that he couldn’t be bothered to free his hired help spoke volumes of his true character. Curiously, Daring Do was neither surprised nor dismayed at the news. Privately, I wondered if she wouldn’t feel complete unless her arch enemy was still loose and trying to thwart her. Ah, well. That was more of a question for Cadance to ask than myself. In any case, I reckon we four mares left quite an impression by then – thankfully a favorable one this time.

Relating our experiences to Trixie and Twilight when we got back to Ponyville was enjoyable. There were the gasps of dismay at the beginning, puzzlement when I told them about what our investigations had found out, concern at Rainbow’s abduction, and amazement at the encounter with Asperitrex. But it was the laughter when I told them about the multiple wives misunderstanding that made me feel good. Then after relating how Penny reacted to our ‘new status’, my co-rulers were crying tears from laughing so much. If I hadn’t had Trixie firmly under one wing, I think she would have been rolling on the floor. Poor Thorax, though, was smiling the smile that you make when you don’t understand the joke. I was sure that Twilight would explain the context to the changeling later, but for now, he would have to settle for supping on our positive emotions.

It was great to be sharing this much time with Trixie, but when Rainbow Dash returned later that day, it was time for our postponed session of sky-dancing. As we rose to get some altitude, I noticed a new accessory around her neck.

“Is that the blindfold souvenir?”

“Sure is!”

I grinned. “You’re going to lose it over the Everfree. That knot will come untied and you’ll never see it again.”

Rainbow did a few quick snap rolls in either direction. “Nope! I checked the knot with Twilight before I left. She said the permanence charm on the fabric not only makes it super-tough, knots won’t come undone until you want them to.”

I did a couple of upright spins around the mare as I likewise warmed myself up.

Rainbow said, “Get this. Our know-it-all mare hasn’t seen a preservation spell this strong anywhere before.”

I smiled. “Huh! Somepony must have really valued it.”

“And now you’re talking about me again, not that I mind.”

We shared grins, then I saw a familiar sparkle in her eyes. “You finally ready?”

“Been ready for hours!” I shot back.

That made her pause only long enough to give me a pleased smile. “Three-Two-One-Go!”

As the prismatic mare and I cleaved the air with our acrobatics (shadowed by Penny, of course), I reflected on how much excitement this week had brought and how enjoyable my life was. I had added to my long list of friends, Equestria was growing in prosperity, and I was going to be a father in several months. Life was good.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Not a bad life if you can have it. :raritystarry:

Art by Amalgamzaku.

Chapter 61 - Treasure Hunt

“Rockin' the punk look, Rarity!”

“Why, thank you, Mark darling.”

“Kind of daring for you, isn't it?”

“Oh, heavens yes! But one must take risks occasionally when you're in the fashion business.”

“Hmm. I wonder if I can pull off that look with my control over my mane length?”

“Do I hear a request for some punk-themed outfits?” the fashionista asked coyly.

I shrugged. “Gotta go where the muse points you.”

“Indeed! Step into my boutique and we'll experiment a little.”

“Okay. And while we're doing that, you can tell me what brought on this fashion impulse.”

Minutes later, I was rolling on the floor with laughter. “You... you ought to... call it... punk shampoo!” I gasped out between chortles.

Rarity pouted. “Have a care, Mark, or I might determine how efficacious it is upon pegacorns!”

Having to attend to Day Court for only the morning session while Twilight took care of the afternoon enabled me to accomplish some personal tasks. Some were more royal duties, but now and then it was something as ordinary as shopping. To the scandal of the pompous nobles, I never sent out a lackey to buy things for me. Besides not being a stuck-up ass, I actually enjoyed my occasional trips into the Canterlot Market and other stores. Not only did I maintain an approachable face to the Triarchy, I liked to chat with both the storekeepers and the customers. I certainly had more in common with them than the nobility!

And so, with Penny ever shadowing me, I tried to get out at least once a week. Sometimes it was just to have coffee and pastries at Donut Joe’s place. Other times, I was looking for something in particular, frequently a little thoughtful gift for Trixie. Today though, I was wandering through the market and checking out the season’s latest offerings. I was delighted to spot a large crate of mangoes on sale and, because I hadn’t had one in ages, bought a few to eat for dessert that evening. As I turned around after paying for the fruit, I noticed Penumbra staring and actually drooling a little. I waved a hoof in front of her face. She shook her head and her eyes lost their glazed look.

“Something catch your eye, Penny?” I asked.

“My nose, actually.”

I retrieved one of the mangoes from my saddlebag and her eyes immediately riveted on it. I grinned at her reaction. “Like mangoes, do you?”

“Most thestrals do,” she admitted. “Something about their smell attracts us, and these are almost overripe.”

“Must be the fruit bat in you,” I said with a chuckle. “Why don’t you buy a couple while you’re here?”

“You know I don’t shop when I’m on duty,” she replied with a lot less conviction than normal.

“Oh well, you could always come back later.”

Juicy Fruit, the greengrocer, spoke up. “I would not put off buying them too long. These are the first mangoes available this season and they’re very popular. There won’t be more for a while, so when they’re gone, you’ll have to wait a couple of weeks for the next shipment. They can’t be grown locally.”

“I’ll come back as soon as I’m off-duty,” my bodyguard replied, wiping another dribble of drool from her lips.

Thankfully, she failed to see my evil grin. I’d had a wonderful idea. A wonderfully wicked idea. I announced that I was going to put off the rest of my shopping until tomorrow. I’d have to rearrange my schedule a little but it would be worth it to pull off an epic prank on Penny. As soon as we got back to the castle, I headed to my old quarters. I maintained that room to store my alter ego’s dresses and a few other items that Trixie didn’t want in our suite. Steady Flight used it to prepare any special garments I might need for an event besides my standard simple outfits instead of intruding on the privacy of my wife and me. He also packed saddlebags for excursions both regular and unexpected. And finally, he kept a stash of particularly fine liquor there for whenever I felt the need for some stallion talk. I hoped that I would find him there because, otherwise, I would have to send a Guard to track him down. However, I got lucky today.

“You’re back early,” he said as he saw me entering the room.

“Change of plans. First, before I forget, I have some mangoes that I’d like you to take to the kitchen to be prepared for our dessert.” I pulled the fruit out of my saddlebags, noticing Penumbra sniff and then lick her lips. I gave her my best concerned smile. “It seems these are a little distracting, Penny. You’d better wait outside until I’m done with Steady.”

“Probably a good idea,” the bat-pony admitted. She stepped back into the hallway and took up her post as I closed the door behind her.

“I know that shit-eating grin,” Steady said quietly. “You’re scheming something and I’m betting it involves Penumbra.”

“Yep. Got it in one,” I replied, keeping my voice equally low. The rooms were well insulated from noise, but thestrals had excellent hearing and I wasn’t going to screw up my plan by letting her eavesdrop.

“Haven’t you learned your lesson yet? The Archmagus of Pranks always trumps you.”

“Yeah, but this time is going to be different.”

I had my valet’s attention. “How so?”

“You saw how these mangoes affected Penny? Well, this is what I want you to do…”

Cadance arrived that evening for one of her regular visits, bringing along both the foals while Shining stayed in the Crystal Empire to take care of business. Lately, it wasn’t often that both could be absent from their duties at the same time. Sunburst, as usual, accompanied the foals, so Cadance didn’t have to spend every moment watching over them. They all got treated to sweet sticky rice with fresh mango for dessert that night. The way Button squeed in delight at the taste was adorable. Sometimes I had to remind myself that just because changelings subsisted on love, it didn’t mean that they couldn’t enjoy normal food too. I suspected that a hybrid like Shining’s son probably appreciated it even more.

As Cadance intended to spend time with her sister-in-law’s family, I had volunteered to help Sunburst watch the children for the morning. Part of it was as a favor to Twilight, but I also wanted to get a little experience with having foals around. In a few months, I was going to be a father and I knew I desperately needed some first-hoof knowledge of what that would be like. As Sunburst had been there for Flurry Heart from the start, I intended to tap him for hints and suggestions. In return, I kept an eye on the foals while he checked out the Canterlot book stores for rare tomes and magical bric-a-brac for his studies. Naturally, we had to intersperse those shops with visits to toy stores and arcades to amuse the foals, but our destinations frequently had one thing in common.

“Another one!” whimpered Penny.

“What’s wrong?” I asked the bat-pony, keeping an innocent look of concern on my face.

“Everywhere we go, mangoes! The shopkeeper at Edifying Editions had a mango in his lunchbox. There was one in the fruit basket in the window of the café that we stopped at for drinks. The toy store owner had one on the counter. Cunning Collectibles had two! The ice cream parlor had just started making mango sundaes! Treasured Tomes had dust over practically everything except that one fruit next to the cash register! It’s driving me crazy!”

“Didn’t you go buy yourself some after you went off-duty yesterday?” I asked ingenuously.

“They were all sold out!” she practically screeched.

“Ah, that’s a pity. Should’ve bought a couple while we were there.”

“You know I don’t shop while I’m on duty.”

“Who was going to object? I’m your boss, after all.”

The look she gave me said more than words ever could. Time to twist the knife.

“Let’s go to Donut Joe’s place and pick up some snacks for the foals for later. I’m sure Sunburst wouldn’t mind coffee and donuts right about now. I’ll treat you too.”

Sunburst said, “You’re right. I’ve been so preoccupied with my book hunting that I didn’t notice how thirsty I am. A snack wouldn’t be bad either. Besides, I think Flurry and Button could do with a little rest too.”

We soon arrived at the famous donut shop and walked inside to greet its proprietor. Penny gave a strangled moan, her eyes riveted on a very familiar fruit on the counter.

“What’s with the mango, Joe?” I asked. “Not your normal offering, is it?”

“It’s for my lunch,” he replied. “A stallion doesn’t live by pastries alone, y’know?”

I chuckled. “Right. However, we could do with some of those right now. Wouldn’t happen to have a mango-flavored offering, would you?”

“Nope, but that ain’t a half-bad idea. Pity that mangoes are hard to get at the moment. Anyhow, what can I get ya?”

Poor Penny. Even the delicious sugary treat that I got for her was no match for the lure of that mango that so tantalizingly sat mere feet away. The scent must have been driving her… batty!

After that break, we had time for a visit to just one more place on our itinerary – an antiques store which Sunburst wanted to check out. As soon as Penny spotted the old mare at the counter peeling yet another of those alluring fruits, she stiffened and then excused herself to wait outside the door.

“What’s so funny?” Button asked me.

I grinned at him. “A little joke I’ve been playing on Aunt Penny. Don’t tell her that I said that though.” I turned to face the proprietor. “Enjoying your mango, ma’am?”

She smiled. “Very much, Your Highness. Thanks for giving me one. Not sure why you wanted me to wait until you arrived before eating it, however.”

I chuckled. “I’d better not tell you – otherwise you won’t be able to claim innocence when my prank comes to fruition.”

“Ah, I see. I hope it doesn’t backfire on you.”

“Doesn’t matter – I’ve already been getting plenty of chuckles out of it.”

“By the way, I’d watch the foals carefully in here. They break it, you bought it!”

Remembering what had happened to me as a consequence of visiting an antique store once before, I shuddered.

“Thanks for the warning.”

Actually, having to keep an eye on Flurry and Button while Sunburst was preoccupied kept me from being as bored as I normally was in stores like these. I also had to watch the time as we needed to be back for lunch with Cadance and Twilight before my wife and I were to preside over the afternoon session of Day Court. Eventually, I had to drag the stallion away despite his protests.

“Come on, Sunburst. You can spend all day in the stores in Ponyville tomorrow. We have to go now.”

“I know. Ponyville has some of the best antiques in Equestria. Still, I’m ecstatic with the hundred or so vintage books I bought. The shopkeeper just got them in and hadn’t even unpacked them yet from their crates yet! She even threw in a mystery barrel! I’ll go through and catalog them when I get home. It’ll be great!”

I smirked. “Just promise me you won’t use Twilight’s cataloging system.” Spike, Moon Dancer, and Starlight Glimmer were the only ones I knew who fully understood the complexities of the Book Princess’ convoluted organizing method.

He frowned back at me. “Yes, I’m sure it works for her, but it just doesn’t do enough for my needs, I’m afraid. Let me give you the short version of the plusses and minuses of our competing cataloging processes.”

I would have to apologize to Twilight about calling her obsessive about her books, now that I knew at least one pony that was more so. “Maybe another time. We really need to leave now.”

I think Penny was relieved that we were headed back to the castle and away from the ubiquitous mangoes. However, I truly thought she was going to break when she saw a groundskeeper inside the castle wall munching on one of the fruits just as we arrived.

We headed directly for the dining room where we found the princesses already waiting for us. Typically, there was a bowl of various fresh fruit on the table. Today, it held just one kind. When Penny spotted it, she locked up, her mouth slightly agape and drool already starting to overflow.

The foals ran over to their mother and Twilight said, “Hi, Sunburst. Did you have a good shopping trip?”

“It was great! I can’t wait to show you what I’ve found.”

Trixie gave me a smirk. “And how was your morning, Demark Misspells?”

“Quite fruitful, Lulu,” I replied with a grin.

“Trixie fears your bodyguard may explode though.”

“You may be right. Frustration is a terrible thing.”

“And what brought on this attack of frustration?”

“It seems somepony bought all the mangoes in town and distributed them to every place on our itinerary. Penny couldn’t even buy one from anypony because she was on duty and won’t do any shopping—”

“You did WHAT?!” Penny screeched.

I rubbed my poor abused ears. They were going to be ringing for hours, but it was worth it. I’d made her crack! The time and effort that I’d spent arranging everything had paid off handsomely. The death glare she was giving me was delicious, but I didn’t let it linger too long or else I might regret it. I scooped up a mango from the bowl and slung it at the bat-pony. She caught the fruit and sank her fangs into it. Better it than me! In mere seconds, the mango deflated until the fruit was nothing more than a seed loosely covered by the skin. Fortunately, I had another ready to pass on. With a bit of luck, she’d eat the whole bowl and be too torpid to insist on an unscheduled ‘Combat Readiness Exercise’. I’d worry about her revenge another day.

A few weeks later, Trixie and I lounged in the Ponyville spa with some of our friends. As a rule, I stayed in my pegacorn form whenever relaxing there. Rainbow Dash, of course, challenged me to a breath-holding competition. I agreed on the condition that floating off of the bottom of the pool was considered a DQ. That way, we would both have to empty our lungs, evening the odds a bit for me.

It didn’t make a lick of difference.

After I burst to the surface gasping like my life depended on it, Rainbow casually raised her head out of the water and looked around. “Where are Twilight and Fluttershy?”

After I could speak again, I replied, “They’ll be along soon. They just got back from a quest for a cure to swamp fever.”

“Huh? What’s been happening while I’ve been training with the Wonderbolts?”

Rarity spoke up. “Oh, darling, it was terrible! Zecora contracted swamp fever while helping Fluttershy gather crisscross moss. There was no known treatment and Fluttershy felt very guilty and was determined to find a remedy. She and Twilight did some research that took them on a journey to Hayseed Swamp.”

When Rarity didn’t say any more, Dash prompted her. “And…?”

“I don’t know, dear. I only know that much because I saw them leaving in a hurry and I got a hasty explanation from Twilight before they took off. And, as Mark explained, they have only just returned.”

Pinkie piped up, “You should have seen Zecora – she looked so silly with branches growing from her head!” She giggled.

Applejack said, “T’weren’t funny, Pinkie. We could have lost a friend if that there disease had plumb run its course!”

“I know that, but she’s alright, so it’s okay to laugh about it now.”

Rainbow Dash turned to me. “So, what did they do?”

I chuckled. “Patience, Dash. Not even I know all the details. They’ll tell you themselves just as soon as they deal with some matters. Fluttershy had to check on her animals and Twilight had a few urgent matters waiting for her return. Moon Dancer wouldn’t let her go without dealing with the priority items first. While she’s Twilight’s advisor and she is empowered to act on some things, she’s not a princess, y’know?”

Dash frowned and slid deeper into the water, blowing bubbles with her grumbling. Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait too long before our missing friends turned up together.

“Sorry to be late,” Twilight said as she got into the tub. “Some responsibilities just can’t be put off, even if you have a good excuse.”

“And Mister Bear had a bee sting on his nose again,” Fluttershy said as she put down some odd headgear that she was carrying and slid into the water between Applejack and Pinkie Pie. “I keep asking him to leave the hive alone but he has such a sweet tooth. Of course, I also had to put out more seed for the birds. We were gone for a few days, after all.”

“Enough about the birds and the bees – tell us about your adventure!” Rainbow demanded. Then she scowled as we all started laughing. That turned into a blush as she realized what she had just said.

Fluttershy gave Rainbow a small smile. “You heard how Zecora came down with swamp fever?” Dash nodded. “Well, Twilight and I searched her library for a cure but we didn't find one.”

Twilight took up the tale. “Then Fluttershy discovered that a famous healer of the past who was reputed to have cured the fever was none other than Mage Meadowbrook, one of the Pillars of Old Equestria. She lived in Hayseed Swamp before she mysteriously disappeared centuries ago. Fluttershy was most insistent that we go out there immediately to see if we could find any clues to how she managed to cure the disease.”

Fluttershy blushed, obviously embarrassed, but I didn’t push her about it.

In an apparent attempt to gloss over the subject, the butter-yellow pegasus continued. “We found a descendant of Meadowbrook named Cattail who knew the cure for swamp fever. The only problem was that it was flash bee honey and nopony knew how to get it from their hive. Meadowbrook didn’t write down the method that she had used to procure some to treat her mother and all the afflicted villagers.”

Twilight said, “But it was Fluttershy who noticed that the flash bees would land on one of the masks and completely lose their agitation. The disguise apparently had the same markings as the queen bee which allowed Fluttershy to acquire the honey while wearing it.”

“And that’s the mask you brought in with you?” I asked.

Fluttershy nodded. “Cattail said that he felt that the mantle of healer had been passed on to me and that I deserved to keep the mask. I promised to take good care of it, but I just had to show it to all of you.”

“I’ve submitted a paper to the Journal of Equestrian Medicine fully detailing the symptoms and treatment. After it is published, knowing how to cure the disease will become common knowledge!” Twilight added.

“Common knowledge among eggheads, you mean,” Dash said dryly before turning to the yellow pegasus. “Congrats, Fluttershy – that was awesome,” Dash said. “What else has been happening lately?”

“Not much other than the usual. Oh! Daring Do dropped by Twilight’s place. She left advance copies of Daring Do and the Curse of the Pharaoh’s Tomb for me and you. Yours is back at the castle.”

Rainbow started climbing out of the tub. “It is? I’ll go get it!”

Applejack grabbed the blue mare's leg and hauled her back into the tub. “Now is that the way to treat yer friends who you haven’t seen fer a few weeks?” she chided.

“A-heh. Sorry. You know how I am about her books. What’s Daring doing right now? Is she off on another adventure?”

I replied, “She said she was joining a colleague at an archaeological site on a volcanic island reputed to be the home of a mythical hero named Rockhoof.”

Applejack straightened up and stared at me. “Rockhoof of the Mighty Helm? One of the Pillars of Old Equestria?”

“Yeah, I suppose so. They were looking for evidence that the legend was, in fact, a real pony and not just a tall tale. After uncovering the truth about Somnambula, Daring Do got interested in pursuing the other fabled Pillars.”

“Rockhoof’s no dang fable! He’s a hero to us earth ponies!” Applejack exclaimed.

I nodded my understanding. “Oh, and Trixie decided to make Daring’s job a little easier. Thanks in large part to the mass production of the daggerscale portals and the great impression the adventurer made on all of us, my wife issued a decree.”

Trixie smiled down at me from her lounge chair adjacent to the pool. “Indeed! Trixie felt such a great teller of stories, both in person and in print, must be given the assistance of the Crown, however modest that—”

A chorus of yells from the other side of the room interrupted the blue mare. “COWABUNGA!”

Everypony turned to see four shapes hurtle into the pool in front of us. All I managed to do was turn my head to the side so I didn’t get a faceful of water. I noticed Twilight smiling as the splash deflected off her shield, funneling directly at Trixie who got a double-dose of water. Did she do that on purpose?

Nyx’s head broke the surface in the middle of the other three Crusaders. “RETREAT!” she yelled as she spread her wings and forelegs out to touch her friends. With a pop and an inrush of water, they were gone.

After about five seconds of stunned silence, I heard Penumbra say in a completely unconvincing manner, “Wait! … Hey! … Look out!”

I turned to her and scowled. That had the opposite effect than I had intended as her smile just got wider. “I thought my bodyguard was supposed to keep me safe from threats?”

“Exactly!” she beamed.

My wife grumbled and tried to towel off her mane, only to discover the towel had more water on it than her hair. Part of the job of being a good husband is to help your wife recover her composure. As I waved to the attendants to get replacements for the sodden towels, I prompted, “Dear, you were telling us about the Royal Decree?”

Trixie blinked then her smile and royal bearing returned. “Ah, yes! Miss Do has been added to the list of ponies with full access to the daggerscale portal network. She is the first civilian to be so honored.”

I finished the thought. “The portals cut a couple of weeks of the time and loads of expense off of what it would have taken to get herself and the next month’s supplies out to the dig site.”

Applejack said, “Ah guess we won’t be seein’ her fer a while then. Ah hope ya let me know if’n she finds anythin’ to prove Rockhoof was a real pony.”

“You’ll know almost as soon as we do,” I promised.

Rarity said, “Applejack, darling, I was wondering if I could ask a favor of you?”

“That depends on whatcha need done, Ah suppose,” the farm mare replied.

“Well, in my quest to seek out inspiration in new forms, my eyes were drawn to an advertisement for a gardening competition.”

“Ah, and you need a little earth pony help, Ah suppose? Gotta admit though that Ah never woulda imagined you soilin’ yer hooves with that kinda work.”

“Normally, you would be quite right, but this is no ordinary competition. You see, the Mistmane estate was once home to a wondrous collection of flowers and shrubs. Ponies would come hundreds of miles to see the beautiful landscapes. Alas, time has not been kind to the gardens and the caretaker has not been able to cope with their upkeep. In order to help bring them back to their former glory, a challenge was issued to the best designers and landscapers to bring their skills to this national treasure.”

“And what do they gain for their efforts besides Brownie points?” I asked.

Rarity beamed at me. “Only the most sought-after prize in the gardening world – Mistmane’s everlasting flower!”

“What? A dried flower arrangement?”

The alabaster unicorn looked offended. “No, dear. A living flower symbolic of all that is beautiful, and true beauty never dies so neither does this flower. Any gardener worth their seeds would give their right hind leg to possess it.”

Applejack said, “Now, that Ah’d like to see!”

Rarity gave her a pleased smile. “So, you’ll do it?”

“When’s it on?”

“In two weeks.”

Applejack nodded. “Ah’ll be between harvests then, so Ah reckon Ah can make it.”

“Excellent! And Trixie – the event could stand a little promotion in the way of royal patronage. Apparently, the caretaker intends to hire staff to maintain the refurbished gardens after the competition. To afford that, they’ll be charging admission. With the support of the Crown, the publicity would help attract ponies once more.”

Trixie shook her head. “While the Great and Talented Trixie has many skills, a green hoof is not among them. However, your suggestion has merit, and as senior Triarch, I am appointing Princess Mark to be our official representative.”

I blinked. Had I just been volun-told? “I thought we were equals, Lulu?”

She gave me a smug smile. “We are, but some of us are more equal than others.”

I didn’t believe for a moment that she truly thought that way, but my wife likes to mess with me sometimes. Okay, she likes to mess with me a lot. It was just her way of suggesting that I should be the one to go while having a bit of fun at my expense. No matter – I’d give her my comeback later.

“I notice that you wanted me to go in my pegacorn form – any particular reason for that?”

“Trixie knows you like to be a mare on your weekends and she would not wish you to forego the pleasure for the event. Besides, would Trixie be wrong in presuming that your stallion self would not be as interested in gardening as you are now?”

She had a point. While I was always myself, nevertheless, my male and female sides had different emphases on my various interests. As a stallion, I liked gardens a lot but disliked working in them. However, as a mare, I found myself already thinking about the possibilities.

Trixie took my thoughtful silence as assent. “Now that that’s been settled, Trixie will arrange for some funding on Monday.”

“And I’ll spread the word,” Twilight added. “Once it’s known that the Equestrian Crown supports Mistmane’s garden, that should help bring in the tourists to watch the competition.”

“Excuse me, but could I come along too?” Fluttershy asked quietly, almost drowned out by the alicorn’s enthusiasm.

Rarity replied, “You would be very welcome, darling, but why do you want to join the team?”

“A complete garden is more than just flowers and trees. There are butterflies, birds, and other small creatures. The area should balance out flora and fauna. The right animals can protect your garden from destructive pests while bringing it alive.”

“An excellent point, dear,” Rarity conceded. “That makes four of us. It saves me from trying to find another to fill out the team. We also have a nice blend of talents. While I will still be seeking inspiration for a new Spring collection, I must say that we may be in for a chance of winning that prize.”

“Sugarcube, if’n ya put the honest effort into what ya do, anythin’s possible.”

The gardens were in a far more dilapidated condition than I had imagined. Once I learned that only one elderly gray-coated unicorn with a pink mane and tail was all that was left of the family that traditionally cared for the plants, it was understandable. I noticed that her mane and tail moved slightly on their own, an effect I had previously only seen in the mirror… in this Equestria at least. That certainly dispelled any doubts of her ancestry to the legendary mare of old. I hoped that the competition achieved the revitalization that the old mare sought.

With Rarity’s vision, my planning, Fluttershy’s knowledge of interdependent species, and Applejack’s talent for growing things, we attacked our allotted section of the garden with gusto. To my surprise, Rarity was as adept with a pair of pruning shears as with dressmaking scissors. While Applejack naturally took care of the heavy lifting, I was able to contribute unicorn magic also.

The competition was a two-day event, so, when the bell rang at six o’clock to signal the end of work for the day, all the competitors were invited to a pavilion set up in the caretaker’s yard for a feast. Everypony in the twelve competing teams had worked up quite an appetite, so it was fortunate that I had arranged both the food and the catering staff as part of the sponsorship by the Crown. The elderly mare would have probably been completely overwhelmed otherwise.

The second day, we had exactly six hours to complete our work before all competing crews had to put down our tools. While the landscaping teams went to have a well-earned luncheon, the public was allowed to enter to view the results. Each attendee had a ballot card that they filled out with their votes for the best garden design. We also checked out our competitors’ work and we were very impressed. Obviously, only the best landscapers and designers had been allowed into the competition, which is how Rarity had qualified. Of course, we had been able to see some of this being done while we were working on our section, but you couldn’t truly appreciate the results without being up close and immersed within them. After seeing them all, I honestly couldn’t tell who was likely to win. Rarity’s design was a modern take on the old formal style that took advantage of the existing foliage, but there were some radically different arrangements that were equally pleasing to my eye.

When the votes were tallied, I admit to being a little shocked that our team had won. Rarity had spent half the afternoon sketching new designs, working off the nervous energy, but she looked fit to burst with pride when it was announced that we had taken first place. I was glad that the voters had no clue who worked on which section until the results were announced because that assured there would not be any hint of bias in the voting.

When we returned home with our trophy, we agreed that we would share it around, each of us having it for a week before passing it on to the next. As it had been Rarity’s idea to participate, she got to put it on display in her shop first. The rest of us took possession in the order in which we joined the team. I was eager to have my turn because I had something planned.

The everlasting flower was well named. It was a magical object and virtually indestructible, yet still possessing all the vibrant life of a fresh bloom. Naturally, I had to do something silly with it. The first night I had it, Trixie came to bed to find me lying there provocatively with the flower clenched in my teeth.

When she finally stopped giggling, she said, “Trixie wants to find out if you can outlast the flower.”

Obviously, I couldn’t, but I gave it my very best try!

Tuesday morning’s day court was going so well, I started to relax. For a change, there was not a full slate of petitioners and the cases brought to us were being expedited by Starlight and Raven’s thorough prep-work. With only two ponies left on our docket, I shared a happy smile with my wife. Unscheduled time was a luxury that we both cherished, and for both of us to have it together was a rare treat indeed.

When the doors to the throne room crashed open, I couldn’t suppress a groan. Not because of the sight of the visiting Yak prince and his two attendants loudly tromping their way into the room, but because I knew we had jinxed ourselves.

I slipped back into ‘regal triarch’ mode. “Prince Rutherford, what a pleasant surprise! Trixie and I weren’t expecting to see you until this evening. How can we help you?”

The prince finished making tremors that rattled me in my throne when he got to the center of the room. “Yaks demand explanation! Yaks not happy with grave insult to all yaks!”

And then we waited. Eventually, Trixie cleared her throat. “And what insult would that be?”

Prince Rutherford pulled something out from under the blanket on his back. “Yaks want to know what is meaning of THIS?!”

From a distance, the object in question looked like a highly accurate plush doll of the being holding it. “Your stuffed animal likeness?”

“Is it too fat?” asked my wife.

The three yaks laughed. “Oh, no! Fat looks good on yak. Like this.” He turned to face the attendant on his right. “Hey, Bartleby! You look especially skinny for yak today.”

The second yak laughed and said. “What! How dare yak insult yak like that!” They slammed their horns into each other a few times then laughed again freely.

“No!” shouted the yak leader with a stomp of a hoof, silencing his companions. “Yak no take offense at plush poofiness of little yak toy. Material used is not yak fabric, but yak understands ponies don’t have access to yak fabric because talks not finished on countervailing subsidies. Better pony fabric is OK substitute. Yak even like cute smile on yak doll. Reminds yak of little yaks back home. Makes yak homesick.”

All three teared up for a few moments. Trixie and I shared a worried look. Twilight had told us about her earlier dealings with the prince. His cultural norms were often inscrutable and he was painfully easy to take offense. Which translated into ‘just plain nuts’ from the average pony perspective.

“This yak and all yaks take offense at bad portrayal of yaks. When pony make yak doll, yaks treat as yak doll. Needs to be just like real yak doll…” The attendant on his left bumped Prince Rutherford to get his attention then whispered into his ear. “Oh. Yes, with the exception of pony fabric for yak fabric because yaks understanding that way.”

He jumped up and down a few times with a scowl on his face, his companions immediately followed suit. The resulting tremors put a dozen cracks in the stained glass window of the night sky that had the misfortune of being closest to their royal party. When they stopped, my wife triggered the spell that began repairing the damage. I saw pieces of glass floating upwards and cracks shrinking back down to the floor.

“NO!” roared the Prince. “Pony leaders listen to this!” He shook the doll, and a light ringing sound could be heard from the tiny bells in the toy’s ears. “Now listen to yak’s!” Prince Rutherford shook his head and I could hear the much louder ringing of his own bells. “Pony bells are C sharp note! Real yak bells are B flat! Add to this pony doll has blue eyes. Yak’s eyes are greeeeeeeeeen! YAKS DESTROOOOOOOOOOOY!”

He and his attendants spent much longer jumping up and down on the plush toy, grunting and yelling the whole time. To my surprise, the doll stayed in some semblance of its shape, bouncing back into its original form between each stomp. That gave me an idea.

I turned to talk to Starlight but she was no longer by my side. I looked around until I saw she had fallen into one of the waterfall pools that flanked the top of the dais. I waved for her to come closer. She levitated up next to me with worry etched in her face. I had to yell over the sounds the yaks were making and the shattering of glass in the room. There was no point fixing them until the yak-quake was over. “Go get the flower!” I yelled. My advisor nodded and disappeared in a flash of light.

The prince stopped his bouncing and picked up the doll. The fabric was torn off and one ear was gone, but it was still recognizable and still smiling. “Hey!” said the yak attendant on the left. “Pony stitching pretty good! Tougher than yak stitching.”

Prince Rutherford frowned at his companion. “Uhhhh… that because yaks like to crush things! Yak make toys so can be crushed!”

The other yak looked confused for a second until he caught his prince’s head shake towards the throne. “Oh,” he said, backing up a step.

The prince looked up at Trixie and me. “Anyway, yaks take greaaaaat offense at mostly inferior yak toy made by ponies. Yaks mad now. Yak’s take out mad on weak pony castle.”

I heard Starlight teleport back to my side. I gave my warmest smile. “Well, Your Highness, I’m afraid the Crown will have to disappoint you. You see, pony magic is stronger than yak magic.”

The three yaks fell over themselves laughing. They pounded the floor with their hooves as tears leaked out of their eyes. I swear as a race they were bipolar.

Prince Rutherford got his breath back first. “Pony prince is funny! Yaks like pony prince, but not enough to prevent weak pony castle from falling down.”

I sniffed the everlasting flower after taking it from Starlight. I then nodded my head to indicate she float it out to the yak party.

Trixie caught on immediately. “No, Prince Trademark Barbells is correct. Trixie can’t get ourselves to believe that yak magic is stronger. In fact, yak magic is so weak here in Equestria that yaks can’t even crush a flower.”

I winced, anticipating what was coming next. Sure enough, with an impressive flying tackle from all three yaks, the flower was squashed beneath them. For another quarter-hour, the sounds of smashing, stomping, and breaking glass filled the throne room. Eventually, the Prince lifted a hoof to stop his attendants. He held up the flower, looking just as fresh and beautiful as when I first saw it.

“Good workout!” said one of the yaks with a smile.

For his part, the Prince frowned. “This above-average pony flower.” After a few more seconds of contemplation, he dropped it and looked up to the throne. “Fine! Yak honor satisfied. Ponies can keep weak castle. Yaks go try slip-and-slide at amusement park now.”

The three turned around, trotting to the open doors. Just before exiting, Prince Rutherford looked back over his shoulder. “Too bad ponies can’t make everything out of pony flower!” After giving us a wry smile, he and his companions clattered down the hall.

“Trixie wonders what trick you will pull next time we need to calm Prince Rutherford.”

“You and me both, dear.”

The next Saturday saw the return of Ogres and Oubliettes night at Twilight’s castle. While Trixie and Twilight headed out to dinner, Discord, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and I lounged around the Map Room while we waited for Big Mac to arrive. This time, I elected to experience the adventure as a stallion. Penumbra was given the choice of joining the adventure or guarding the hallway. She walked out, saying she didn’t need any more craziness because life with me around was insane enough as it was. Ouch.

That left Rainbow Dash’s wheedling as the main source of entertainment. “Come on!” she whined as she repositioned the knotted blindfold/scarf around her neck. “You have to give us a hint!”

Discord shook his head. “What kind of Dungeon Master would I be if I gave you a clue when your full party wasn’t here?”

The pegasus raised her front hooves over her head. “An awesome one!”

The draconequus folded his arms across his chest. “No, no, and absolutely not. You can’t make me talk. I will not be persuaded no matter what devious ploy you try. You will just have to wait, young lady.”

Rainbow leaned over the table. “Please?”

“Of course! All you had to do was ask.” Discord smiled. “I hope you brought your snorkels!”

“Yes!” The mare pumped her hoof. “Underwater adventure! Just you wait! I’ll be the one wearing a necklace of shark’s teeth by the end!”

I smirked. “Oh, I don’t know. The first beach we come across, you’ll find a nice shady spot under a palm tree and take a nap. After all, aren’t you the Element of Sleeping In?”

Spike covered his eyes with his hands. He knew where this was going. For her part, Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Better than being the Element of Cross-Dressing.”

I laughed. “Good one! You’ve been taking lessons from Penny, haven’t you, Element of Laziness?”

“Naturally, Element of Lame Jokes.” She started to circle behind me, grinning.

I moved away from the table a bit and turned to keep facing her. “I thought so, Element of Slowness… of Wit.”

“Oh my!” said Discord, pulling binoculars out of thin air, quickly followed by opera glasses, a telescope, and a microscope. A moment later, they were all trained on me.

I glanced back to Rainbow Dash to see her in a crouch, all traces of her happy smile gone. “No pony calls me slow.”

Her wings buzzed at incredible speed and I could only make out a blur coming towards me, doubtless to smash me into or over the table. I was already rolling backwards, moving my forelegs and rear legs as Crimson had taught me through hours of painful sessions. My timing was perfect and I got a quick glimpse at Rainbow’s surprised face as I tossed her above my head. I saw her tumble over the lip of the table, flipped upside down and wings angling to control her trajectory. Then the table erupted with flares of color.

I rolled onto my hooves to see showers of light illuminating the entire room and the root system above us. Directly across from me, Rainbow was on her hooves at the far edge of the table. What was remarkable about the sight was her scarf. It glowed a deep golden color.

“Rainbow! Your… Oof!” The breath left my lungs as the mare tackled me hard. We skidded to a stop against the far wall, my head being used as the brakes. “Ow.”

“And that’s what you get for allowing yourself to get distracted.”

I blinked to see a smiling Penumbra looking down at me. She turned to Rainbow Dash, gave an acknowledging nod, then trotted out of the room.

Rainbow looked down from directly on top of me. “Dang it, Mark. I can’t properly roughhouse with you if you’re going to be such a pushover. And why is your face glowing anyway? I couldn’t have hit you that hard.”

I ground my teeth. “First of all, you’re not my wife, so get off of me.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

The lithe mare grabbed one of my forelegs and back-winged. As a result, I ended up on all fours again, though a bit wobbly. After getting my balance back, I pointed with my nose, not trusting to use a hoof. “Second, it’s your scarf that’s glowing.”

“And the map!” yelled Spike. “And your blindfold is on it, too!”

Big Mac trotted through the doors and came to a stop at the table, looking at the light show and then around to the rest of us. “What did I miss?”

“Absolutely nothing that can’t wait for later,” said Discord, raising his clawed hand. “And off we go!”

After he snapped his fingers, the four of us were on a desolate beach, the sun directly overhead. However, the map table was still with us, glowing cheerfully. Discord frowned and snapped again, this time we were all underwater with huge indistinct shapes swimming around us. All I could make out were large eyes reflecting the light of the table back at us. With another snap, we were in a forest, then in outer space (fortunately with spacesuits on), then we were all clinging precariously to a path about a hoof and a half wide three-quarters of the way up a wind-swept cliff side. Every time, the map table came with us.

Spike lost his grip and started to plummet. “DISSssscooorrrr…”

I spread my wings and took a strong beat downwards to catch the drake, only to smack my nose on a crystal floor. “Ow.”

“You say that a lot,” said Rainbow Dash. Looking up, I saw we were in the map room again. I lurched to my feet… again.

Discord said, “Fine! Duty calls and at least two of you can’t put it off, it seems. Maybe next weekend. Maybe.”

The draconequus positively drooped. His hanging ears and antlers accentuated by scales falling off of his body.

Spike got down from his crystal throne. “Looks like it’s mission time again. I’ll go make snacks. Big Mac, want to help me make Mark’s ‘Buffalo Dip’? He says it’s missing one ingredient but I think it’s great as is.”

Big Mac nodded as he ambled next to the little dragon. “Eeeyup!” If I needed any more confirmation that O&O night was over, that was it.

Rainbow Dash said, “Huh. No helping it now. I’ll go get the girls.” With a whoosh, she was gone.

Looking back to Discord, seeing him so sad reminded me of something. I came up beside him, still rubbing my sore nose. “Say, Discord. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

He used his paw to lift an eyebrow, staring down at me skeptically.

“I noticed that you were crying at Twilight’s wedding, but not at mine. Would you be willing to tell me why?”

If anything, he looked even sadder. After a full minute, he sighed. “Oh, alright. Fluttershy tells me I should share the good and the bad with my friends, though she had the tact not to ask me directly about it.” He glared at me, but I was ready for the near-omnipotent demi-god’s displeasure.

“You don’t have to tell me. Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

He stared at the floor. “No. Not in this case.” With a snap of his fingers, we were sitting in two lounge chairs at the beach we had first travelled to a few minutes earlier. Since he chose to ignore the ever-present map table, I did the same.

He took off his sunglasses and held them in his paw, looking more thoughtful than I had ever seen him before. “As you know, I’ve been visiting neighboring universes, looking for clues to the Sister’s disappearance. During that time, I’ve run into more copies and variations of myself and my friends than even you and Twilight did. Out of all of these, there was only one dimension that left a lasting impression.”

The sunglasses morphed into a small statue of a creature that was a draconequus, but with an overall lavender color scheme and obviously female. Discord said, “Screwball was the child of that realm’s Discord and Twilight Sparkle. Loyal. Smart. Bold. Willing to do anything for her friends regardless of the personal cost. The absolute best of both of us.”

The statue faded away slowly until nothing was left above his paw but air. “Mark – understand that a being of chaos doesn’t experience reality the same way mortals do. Probabilities feel real. With effort, I can steer towards or away from them. Sometimes I get glimpses of lifetimes down one path or another. That was definitely the case with Screwball.”

His paw dropped to his side and his head lowered further. “When Twilight said her vows to Thorax, the thread of probability that connected me to the child we had together went to zero.” He paused. “It was like losing the daughter I never had.”

I didn’t know what to say, but I had to do something. I stood up from the lounge chair and walked up next to him, placing a hoof on his shoulder. Finally, words came. “I’m sorry, Discord.”

We stayed that way for a few minutes. Then his ears perked up and he smiled. “Thanks.” He looked back behind himself where I could see nothing but an endless stretch of sand on the coastline. “And I think that’s my cue.” With a flash of light, he was gone and I was standing in the map room again next to the returned table. I was just in time to watch Rainbow Dash fly back into the room.

She landed on her crystal throne and beamed up at me. “All done! They’ll be here soon. Pretty easy to convince them thanks to my own personal overpowered magic item!” She waved a hoof unnecessarily at her scarf which had not stopped glowing. “I’d challenge you to another fall… by you… but I think you’ve absorbed enough punishment for one day.”

I grinned back at her. “Thanks for that, Element of Consideration.”

“You bet!” She turned to look at the door. “Where’s Spike with the goodies? Can’t he just breathe flame on them or something to get it done quicker?”

With nothing else to do, I decided to get a head start on studying what the table was showing to us. The standard translucent blue and purple map of Equestria was displayed, along with six golden icons glowing above the table. Two hovered over Canterlot and three over Ponyville. The last appeared to be a worn book that floated over the Crystal Kingdom. Sighing, I settled down to wait.

Once all of the Element Bearers and Trixie arrived, everyone took their seat with the exception of Trixie and myself who stood next to Twilight’s throne. Oh, and Big Mac came in with Spike, carrying the king-sized (or should that be triarch-sized?) dip bowl on his back. He seemed more interested in the pita chips and spicy dip if his grin and swishing tail were to be believed. He happily dug in, ignoring the ghostly image of Fillydelphia that emerged from the jumbo-sized dip bowl.

Twilight called the meeting to order. “Isn’t this exciting! The map table is calling on us to retrieve these powerful magic items. They must be the next step in restoring Harmony to Equestria!”

Rainbow Dash yawned. “Speak for yourself. I think your glowy furniture just wants to congratulate me on doing such an awesome job!” She spun the scarf around her neck to emphasize the point.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ya ever hear a sumthin’ called ‘subtlely’, Dash? You should try it, sometime.”

“Nope. Never found use for it.”

“I agree with Dashie!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

With no apparent effort, Twilight expanded the image of Ponyville on the table. “I believe these items to be the tokens of the six Pillars of Old Equestria. They all disappeared without a trace over thirteen centuries ago. In town, we have Meadowbrook’s mask…” Everypony looked at Fluttershy who cowered a bit under the attention but still managed a smile. “… Mistmane’s everlasting flower…” I nodded. Alongside the mask’s symbol, the flower’s icon hovered above a familiar cottage outside of town where I had earlier dropped it off because it was Fluttershy’s turn to have it for a week. “… and Somnambula’s blindfold.”

“It’s a scarf!” protested the prismatic mare.

Twilight continued without pause, causing the map to swiftly traverse the countryside until it centered on a view of Canterlot that covered the entire table. I blinked. “Twilight, why is that image of a shovel moving?”

As we all watched, the glowing icon exited the castle grounds and moved over the city.

Pinkie snorted. “Well, obviously, it heard there was a reunion party in Ponyville and didn’t want to be left out.” As much as my rational brain wanted to disbelieve the mare, I couldn’t think of anything more reasonable. It did seem to be heading in the right direction.

Rainbow Dash had been studying the shape with her eyes narrowed. She pointed with a hoof. “Nah. A pegasus is carrying that thing. She’ll get here in an hour and a half, tops.”

“Not a carriage?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“And a mare, not a stallion?”

She gave me that insufferable grin. “Trust me. I betcha one bit to your ten that she’s coming here. We’ll all be seeing that whatever-it-is soon enough.”

Twilight clapped her front hooves. “Based on the evidence so far, that has to be Rockhoof’s shovel.”

Big Mac said, “Rockhoof?” Everyone looked up to him, surprised at his uncharacteristic outburst. They hadn’t heard anything yet. “Don’t believe what others will tell you about him being a myth. He was as real as any of us here. He and his friends travelled Old Equestria, helping ponies wherever they went. His bravery and compassion made him the paragon of what all earth pony stallions yearn to be.”

All the mares continued to stare. Eventually, Rarity said, “Spikey Wikey, darling. You positively must give me that recipe. It turns Big Mac into a brand new pony.”

The earth pony stallion gaped and turned a slightly brighter shade of red. He dropped his head and his tail was tucked between his legs as he started towards the door… only to turn around and return to the table. He dug out a large scoop of the dip and placed it on a big, round pita bread. So encumbered, he swiftly trotted out of the room, now with his tail moving in a slight but happy wave.

I narrowed my eyes at the map table. “Twilight, I think that’s a shield floating over Canterlot.”

The purple mare nodded. “Yes. That’s Flash Magnus’ token. He used it to protect himself while distracting a group of dragons so his fellow soldiers could rescue some ponies who had been captured. According to legend, it’s fireproof.”

I nodded. “Could you zoom in?”

When she did so, Rarity said, “Isn’t that the First Lipizzan Bank?”

I looked up. “It’s called the First Draconian Bank now. You can also see the construction going on. They bought out the entire city block and have razed or repurposed all of the other buildings to suit their needs. Many of those needs relate to accommodating the size of their new owners.”

Trixie said, “Doubtless, this priceless and powerful artifact of Equestria’s past is being kept in one of the safety deposit boxes managed by the bank. You simply need to visit the bank and order they all be opened for your inspection.”

Twilight gaped. “You can’t do that! I mean we can’t do that! Even the triarchs have no legal way to compel the bank to do so.”

My wife raised an eyebrow. “Do you know for certain whether Spell Nexus was one of the bank’s customers?”

I said, “Trixie makes a good point. We probably know less than half of the aliases he used, and no pony on his staff has cooperated with the authorities. Can we do a security and safety inspection?”

“I…” Twilight blinked a couple of times. “Well, yes. Only bank employees are allowed to touch the contents unless a clear threat is found. And the entire process is thoroughly documented and witnessed.”

I smiled. “Then I know what the two of us will be doing on Monday afternoon while my lovely wife sits on the throne at Day Court.”

Trixie bumped me in the side with a hoof. “Trixie knows you are just flattering me, but Trixie will graciously accept your praise. Dealing with fawning sycophants and duplicitous nobles sounds much more fun than hours spent rummaging around boxes of letters from previous lovers.”

I chuckled. There was no way every safety deposit box would contain mundane and perhaps crude items. Worst case, I’d find out that the average pony was a bit boring and lacked imagination.

Without warning, the map shifted at blinding speed, mountains, valleys and villages whizzing past in the blink of an eye. I felt disoriented and had to look away, meeting Applejack’s gaze who looked just as queasy.

A few seconds later, the map stopped on the Crystal Empire, though with a pulled-back view. “Sorry, everypony,” said Twilight. “I can’t seem to zoom in. I’m guessing because of the magical interference caused by the Crystal Heart.”

The map table projected a golden book high above what looked to be near the center of the city. The purple mare continued. “And lastly, but certainly not leastly…” she giggled at her own joke. She was alone in this. “… is Star Swirl’s Journal.”

Rarity asked. “Do you mean spellbook, darling?”

“No. He kept a series of personal journals of his adventures. Each is a powerful magic item in its own right. Only a few survive to this day, but it’s known that the last one was lost. Reading it could solve the mystery of what happened to the greatest unicorn magician who ever lived!” She had gone back to clapping her hooves, and if her smile was any indication, she would not be stopping any time soon.

A thought occurred to me. “Twilight – if Star Swirl disappeared centuries ago, how did his journal turn up in the Crystal Empire?”

The alicorn considered the question. “I suppose it depends on whether he disappeared before or after Luna and Celestia fought Sombra and the city was banished. History is a little unclear on the order of events a millennium ago, and neither of the princesses is here to clarify.”

The map expanded out until it covered the entirety of Equestria again. All of us stared at the golden image of a shovel moving at almost imperceptible speed toward Ponyville.

Applejack sighed. “Well, it looks like we’re gonna have some company. Ah’ll fetch us all some cider.”

I heard Pinkie say, “All you had to say was ‘party,’ silly!” I looked up to find dozens of paper lanterns hanging from the root system overhead, every color of balloon, three levels of garlands along the walls, and even a balloon arch over the entrance. When did this happen? No, don’t think about it. The only way to stay safe was to stay sane. Or at least try to stay sane.

Applejack walked to the door, only to jump back in surprise as her brother came in, a wooden barrel on his back. The farm mare said, “Big Mac, what’s all this?”

“Triple X Cider. Special order,” he replied, unfolding a flimsy-looking stand, then gently placing the barrel on it. Considering the barrel was doubtless full and about the size of the stallion, I was surprised the frame didn’t so much as creak. He jogged over to Pinkie and held out a clipboard. “Sign here, please.” The party mare quickly put on some lipstick and kissed the paper. Big Mac looked at the returned clipboard for a moment, shrugged, and trotted back towards the door… after a quick detour to the dip bowl.

All of us were soon very relaxed and… happy. This may have been partly due to the drinking games that Pinkie insisted everypony play. Spike stuck to hot chocolate, though with whipped cream and diamond dust, which was a double luxury for him.

I had stopped my wife before her first drink, concerned about the harmful effects of alcohol on our developing foal. She informed me that every pregnant mare is treated monthly with a warding spell that protects the developing fetus from not just alcohol but also many poisons and countless diseases. A magical inoculation, I suppose you would call it. When Twilight asked if pregnant mares in my world were known to drink, I sadly had to answer that this was sometimes the case. The shocked and sad mood didn’t last, however, as Pinkie pulled all three of us into a playing card drinking game called “Pony Race” where you bet on the aces with your drinks.

Let’s just say Twilight’s rotten luck at poker extended to other games of chance. So much so that she was soon sound asleep on the map table, complete with a cone on her head. Rainbow had scrawled “drinking dunce” on the headgear before taking a few photos.

The doors burst open and a proudly smiling Daring Do marched in. “Aha! You’re all here! You’ll never guess in a thousand years… no, over a thousand years what I brought with me.” I saw a bulky object on her back wrapped in wide strips of cloth.

Rainbow called out, “You mean besides Rockhoof’s Shovel?”

The tan pegasus’ smile fell. She jogged up to the map table. After studying it for a few seconds, she scanned the room, her eyes settling on the cards in front of Pinkie. I noticed that the pink mare now wore a green translucent visor and a snazzy gold vest. I could have sworn she didn’t have those on just a minute ago.

Daring Do took off her pith helmet and tossed it to the center of the map table. “’Pony race’, huh? Deal me in. And double the size of my shots. I have some catching up to do!”

The bank’s new president was a very shrewd young dragon, barely out of his teens. Xyrdur had just finished his apprenticeship under the old president who was now fully retired. Torch had selected the drake because his temperament did not let him fit in well in the Dragon Lands, but his intelligence and focus were well suited to running the dragons’ first venture into high finance in the city. Ponies had at first been a little concerned about having a dragon in charge of a bank, but he had quickly proved his mettle. The fact that dragons were reputed to be fanatical about protecting their hordes – and by extension, their customers’ – the First Draconian Bank had soon become the institution of choice for ponies to store their valuables. Therefore, it was no great surprise that Xyrdur had been very unhappy at being required to open the safety deposit boxes for the sake of state security. However, the inspection was perfectly legal. After we were sworn to keep customer identities in the strictest confidentiality, the dragon, Twilight, and I were in the designated vault.

Even though I hadn’t said anything aloud, I owed my wife an apology. I had scoffed at the suggestion that I’d find scandalous items in the safety deposit boxes, but the truth was even weirder. As it turned out, it was more than jeweled heirlooms that the bank had been protecting, which I should have anticipated in this land where gold and gems were so plentiful. Not a few reputations would be tainted if knowledge of what we found got out. I wasn’t talking about illegal stuff, although there were a couple of suspicious items. No – it was such things as the diamond dog porn found in the box of a famous unicorn who preached about racial purity, or the lingerie collection obviously sized to fit its portly stallion owner that would have raised a few eyebrows. I saw evidence that one stallion was running a herd to which I turned a blind eye. It worked in alternate worlds and I didn’t think it was any of my business as long as it wasn’t formally put to me in my position as Prince of the Realm. Twilight blushed mightily at the contents of another box which she hastily told Xyrdur to close again before I saw what was inside. Too late! I was impressed by the collection of Playmare magazines, even if sexily posing stallions weren’t my thing. The stash that made me smile the widest were pristinely bagged and boarded comics – the one on top an advance proof copy of Power Ponies #1 signed by the artist. I’m sure Spike would have given half his hoard for it!

Then there was the truly unusual. Twilight levitated a small wooden case out of the current deposit box. At least four colors of magic fields surrounded it. She murmured, “The current version of Hilldale’s Cryptic Lock spell, a scanning phase disruption charm, Balderdash’s Impossible Puzzle Field, and Final Problem’s Calculation Padlock. Disappointing.” She smiled back at me. “Good thing I’ve been doing those thirteenth roots for fun!” A few seconds later the case was free of any magical glow but Twilight’s. Xyrdur stared at my friend for a moment, swallowed, then went back to taking notes on his clipboard.

The lid slowly opened, revealing a squat crystal vial with a dropper. The container was about three-quarters full of a red liquid. Twilight frowned. “My scans can’t penetrate the crystal. The color and viscosity look consistent with blood.” She began to unscrew the top.

“If I may, Princess,” interrupted Xyrdur. Twilight paused and floated the bottle over to his outstretched palm. The dragon put down his clipboard and used that hand to grip the lid with two claws. Carefully, he unscrewed the top and lifted the dropper in front of his nose. He took a tiny sniff and blinked furiously.

Hastily, he returned the lid and screwed it tight again, but not before I got a whiff of what was inside and my eyes began to water. “That’s what I thought. Death blossom extract. This sample is especially pure. The spiciest substance on Equus.”

Xyrdur picked up his clipboard as Twilight floated the vial back to its container. A few seconds later, the multi-colored glow of the protective spells had been restored and she returned it to the safe deposit box.

I asked, “So I take it this box belongs to a dragon?”

“No. A unicorn mare actually. The extract is a very… acquired taste even among dragons.”

I smiled. “You don’t like it, do you?”

The dragon hesitated. “Can’t stand it. I was forced to try it once and couldn’t taste anything for a month.” He scratched something onto his clipboard. “That much of the extract almost qualifies as a biological hazard. Despite my personal preferences, bank regulations allow it to stay… though that may change at the next board meeting.”

In the meantime, Twilight had returned the previous safety deposit box and levitated the next one, this one the size of a loaf of bread. Although the shield we sought couldn’t possibly fit in it, we had to check all the boxes due to the statutory loophole we had used for this search. When she got the nod from Xyrdur that he was ready to continue, she opened the lid a crack and both Twilight and I recoiled. The stench was overpowering. Like all the nightmares of Tartarus had been rolled into one and then left out in the sun to spoil for a month… maybe two. Fortunately, Xyrdur took charge. He jumped forward and grabbed the box with one clawed hand and slammed the lid shut with the other. He shoved the box into his mouth and pulled back his lips. Pointing his head at the ceiling high overhead, he shot gout after gout of flame between his teeth for a full minute. When he stopped, the ceiling water-cooling spell turned off, sensing no more flames present.

A very sodden Twilight got to her hooves. “What… what was…”

After swallowing, the bank manager scowled. “Durian. Extremely overripe durian fruit. Every civilized nation bans their use in times of war. I believe I will have a little talk with the owner of that box about using my bank to hide his banned produce. Plus charge him for the cost of getting the stench out of this room.”

I recalled something from Twilight’s two-hour lecture on fiscal laws and regulations I had to endure before I was allowed to set foot in the bank. It would have been less than an hour if I had passed her pop quizzes, but she didn’t let up until the information was properly drilled into my brain. “Excuse me, Xyrdur, but isn’t it true that only the Crown’s Inspector is allowed to dispose of a bank customer’s property?”

The young dragon’s eyes became very wide and unfocused. Twilight said, “And that’s what happened. Teleported straight into the sun.”

The bank president gave us a pleased smile and a nod. So he could feel that emotion. He picked up his clipboard and his quill scratched on it for a few seconds. “So noted. Shall we continue?”

I frowned. “Not until the stench is gone. Twilight, can you do something about that?”

Recycling the air a dozen times and Twilight casting a cleaning spell on each of us four times did not do enough to clear the stink. Ultimately, my shirt was lost to the cause as were the original copies of Xyrdur’s notes. Only then did the inspection continue.

To our disappointment, the last box was opened without finding the shield. After securing the safety deposit vault once more, we followed Xyrdur back to his office.

“Thank you, once again, for your cooperation in this matter, sir,” I said as we settled down into chairs.

Xyrdur nodded curtly. “While I am happy to be able to confirm that the First Draconian Bank harbors no contraband or threats to this institution or Equestria, I trust that this will be the last time that this exercise will be done?”

Twilight replied, “The Crown certainly hopes so. We will compensate you for your valuable time, of course.”

The drake smiled toothily, always happy at the thought of getting more money. “Shall we conclude with a drink? I have a particularly fine wine distilled from lava berries from the Dragon Lands.” He pulled a bottle containing a red liquid from one of the drawers in his desk.

As it would have gravely insulted the dragon to refuse, we both accepted with caution. Lava berry wine was reputed to be able to blow the head off dragons, let alone ponies. “Just a small one, please,” I said.

The glasses that Xyrdur supplied were small enough, but even a sip of the potent brew started both of us sweating.

Time to make some small talk. “So I understand you have completed the transition period and Fiduciary Trustee has now retired?”

The young dragon took a long drink from his wine glass before leaning back in his chair. “Yes. The cranky perfectionist had me learn by preparing for both sides of a different business deal every week: Venture capital, re-amortization, currency exchange, business loans, guarantee of credit, corporate purchases. I would study my tail off and then fight for every possible bit on Saturday, matching wits with the old stallion. I had my mistakes deducted from my salary, which was very good for my motivation and learning process. Each Monday, I would go over the fine points of what I did right and wrong with the bank employees who were experts in that area.”

He finished off his wine and set the glass on his desk. “Then came the topic of real estate purchases. The applicable case law, regulations, and breadth of different classifications of land was far more than I could adequately prepare for. Not to mention the variances of these across cities, counties, and kingdoms. Late in the afternoon on Friday, I had an epiphany, doubtless because being around all you ponies was rubbing off on me.”

He looked us in the eyes. “I had gone in with the assumption that the testing was for me alone. I showed up on Saturday with ten experts in tow, only half of them bank employees. The old stallion smiled and told me he could finally retire, knowing the bank was in good claws.”

Despite having sweat trail down her back, Twilight smiled. “I’m glad you learned about teamwork. I’m sure that was a novel lesson for you after your experiences growing up in the Dragon Lands. I recommend you next learn the power of friendship. Please let me know if I can help you in any way.”

Xyrdur smiled for the third time that day, which I believe classified him as borderline-psychotic for a banker. “Thank you, Princess. I’ll take that into consideration.”

I said, “So where did Fiduciary Trustee end up?”

The dragon waved a clawed hand. “Oh, that was my ‘final exam.’ I negotiated the purchase of the Villa Jodhpurs Resort in the Hebridal Archipelago. He was so pleased with the resulting price that he decided to invest the savings into expansion. The Trixie Wing will be open for guests in little over a year.”

Twilight’s body shook for a moment. “The… the Trixie Wing?”

“Yes. She is the senior triarch, after all. I understand she has committed to be at the ribbon-cutting, regardless of schedule changes.”

The mare's wings shivered. I stifled a laugh but may have smiled a bit. Twilight might be the senior and most powerful alicorn of the rulers of Equestria— by benefit of being the only real alicorn in the triarchy – but that didn’t carry over to the public’s eye. “Would you care for another shot of wine, Twilight?”

She blinked. “Yes, I think I could use that right now.”

I gamely joined her in downing another dose of the powerful beverage. Twilight didn’t fare as well the second time around, leading to her having a coughing fit.

“Are you well, Princess Twilight?” Xyrdur asked.

My friend cleared her throat twice. “It seems… to be a bit warm in here,” she replied.

“Ah, yes. My apologies. I tend to keep my office warmer than the rest of the bank. Gives it a homey feel. Let me cool it down a little for you.”

He went to the window and raised the sash, letting in a pleasant cool breeze. Reaching behind the curtain, he pulled out a large object which he used to prop open the window. “I need to get the renovators back to fix that sometime. I can’t get it to stay open without something to hold it up.”

I stared at said prop. It was the shield that we had been searching for. It was horribly dented and blackened, but the shape was unmistakable. All this time, it had been in the bank president’s office even as we had been negotiating with him to allow us to examine the safety deposit boxes. I gave Twilight a nudge, my eyes glancing toward the shield. Hers widened in recognition.

Twilight said, “Thank you for the fresh air. That’s a particularly interesting shield you have there. It seems a bit strange to use it just as a window prop.”

Xyrdur replied, “That old thing? I suppose that it is. I gathered up what few Equestrian items I could find in the Dragon Lands before setting out. I haven’t found a place suitable to display it, so I felt I could put it to good use in the meantime.”

“Would you consider selling it?”

The dragon’s eyes narrowed and he looked at Twilight keenly. His genial smile suddenly turned more shark-like. “My dear Princess, even window props are of great value to the First Draconian Bank. How much are you offering?”

That overgrown lizard screwed us for every bit we had brought with us but, eventually, we walked away with our prize. We now had five of the six tokens of the Pillars of Old Equestria. Guessing that we would find Star Swirl’s journal in the Crystal City’s library, we figured that we’d have all of them soon. It remained to be seen what Twilight could make of them once they were together again. I just hoped that the alicorn wouldn’t get too carried away with her research. Then I mentally kicked myself. Of course, she would get carried away. What I should be wondering was how to contain it! But that was a problem for later. Right now, it was time to get back to our royal duties. The map table’s riddle could wait another day to solve.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Back from my vacation and Bronycon, so another chapter can be posted at last. It's an extra-big one to make up for the wait.

Screwball art by Glacier Frostclaw.

Chapter 63 - Chasing Shadows

Damn. Well, despite what Star Swirl apparently thought, recriminations weren’t going to get us anywhere. Nothing to do but go forward.

Before I could say more, my wife cleared her throat and spoke in a slightly wavering voice. “Honored heroes of old. On behalf of myself Trixie Lulamoon, Twilight Sparkle, and … Mark Wells, we, the Triarchs of Equestria welcome you back to your home.” Wait, Trixie used my real name? Being in the presence of the Pillars and Star Swirl, in particular, must have really unnerved her.

Star Swirl rounded on her with a frown and his horn glowed briefly. “An irresponsible alicorn and a pegasus too young to shave lead Equestria? Times are more dire than I had imagined.” He turned dismissively and walked away. “And I’ll just pretend that I didn’t see the fake alicorn.”

I know my nostrils flared and I heard Twilight gasp to my left. I also saw Trixie narrow her eyes. My brain told me that disrespecting the former showmare would put her back on her hooves, so to speak. Any breathless adoration she may have had for the mage was gone now. My heart was telling me to do something entirely different. After grinding my teeth for a few moments, I still didn’t trust myself to speak. Twilight moved her mouth but no words came out.

Starlight came to our rescue. “Everypony! We’re going up to the map room now.” She led the way towards the stairs. The rest of the Elements trotted after her, effectively ending any discussion on the matter unless somepony wanted to stay in the lowest floor of the castle.

As everypony followed my advisor, I saw Mistmane smiling in delight at the sparkling crystal hallway. As she passed by potted plants, they grew and bloomed merely from her presence.

“Such a beautiful castle!” Mistmane exclaimed. “And so well-lit despite the lack of windows.”

Twilight explained, “It’s part of the magic of the castle. Each room and hallway has exactly as much light as it needs.”

Rockhoof smiled as he looked one of the crystal walls up and down. “Oh, aye. Made wi’ earth pony magic. Ah ken the signs well.” He reached out a hoof and placed it midway up the wall. When he pulled it back, the outline of his hoof pulsed green for a few seconds before fading. The stallion grunted with a nod of satisfaction and walked after Starlight.

Twilight trotted up and lowered her head, squinting at the spot that now looked exactly like the rest of the crystal. She closed her eyes, let out a deep breath, and reached out to place her hoof in the same location. However, when she returned her hoof to the floor, there was no sign of any reaction. Her ears perked up and she cantered after the earth pony. “Um... excuse me? Rockhoof?”

Applejack came up with a wry smile on her face. She tapped the wall once, eliciting a dull green flash. “Yup. Thought so.”

I came up beside her as she followed the others. “You gonna teach her how it’s done?”

“Nope. And doncha go tellin’ her about my knowin’ how neither.”

I chuckled. I had no doubt Twilight would learn this nuance of earth pony magic eventually... just not right away.

We followed the others and entered the map room just as Twilight finished explaining how to use the table. The mage frowned and stroked his beard, staring hard at the map. Occasionally, the view would zoom in and out on a spot then traverse to a different location. As I walked up between Star Swirl and Pinkie Pie, I heard him mutter, “A most remarkable artifact. So much of Equestria has changed…” The pink mare was looking down at her hooves with her hair somewhat deflated.

I said to her, “I think we’ll need a ‘Welcome Back to Equestria Party’ to lighten the mood, don’t you think?”

Before she could answer, Discord appeared over the center of the table, a margarita in his paw and a huge noise rattle spinning in his clawed hand. The sunglasses, Hawaiian shirt, and yellow sombrero completed the outfit with absolutely no regard to taste. He yelled, “Did someone just say, ‘party’?!”

“Demon!” shouted Star Swirl as he lowered his stance and his horn glowed with power. I have to thank Crimson Boulder for what happened next. Instinctively, I lashed out with a hoof exactly as I had been trained to do. It impacted the base of the stallion’s horn, disrupting his magic completely. He fell onto his side with a cry and I advanced, staying within striking distance. I heard shouts of alarm from around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Starlight’s blue magic holding everypony else back from the two of us.

“You fool!” the mage practically spat. “That’s a draconequus!”

“I know!” I yelled back. “He’s also one of our closest friends.”

Star Swirl struggled to get back onto his hooves. “It’s a being of pure chaos! You can’t make friends with something like that!”

I sneered. “Already have. Already did. Discord has proven himself and we all trust him with our lives. I don’t know much about your time, but here and now, the Magic of Friendship means a lot.”

“Then you are even more a fool than I imagined. You simply don’t understand because you are too young and too ignorant.” He cast a sneering glare at all the others watching him with expressions varying from anger to shock. His eyes settled on Trixie and Twilight. “It’s clear that the leadership of this nation is manifestly inadequate if it permits the likes of that creature to be free.”

Discord gave Star Swirl a hurt look and his magic flashed, leaving him dressed in a robe with paper angel wings covering his real ones and a halo held up by a wire. “Whatever did I do to you? Besides…” He turned into a stone statue but his voice continued. “Been there, done that.”

My wife gave Star Swirl a disgusted look and Twilight was evidently dismayed.

I stared at Star Swirl through slitted eyes. “Yeah, I know your type. Quick to judge and dismiss anything or anyone that doesn’t meet your personal biases. So used to being the smartest pony in the room that you’re immune from admitting you are wrong. Think you know it all? Well, guess what, grandpa? You’re over a thousand years out of date. Twilight ascended by finishing the spell you couldn’t complete. Multiple ponies modified your time-travel spell. Twilight reconstructed your banishing spell and figured out how to reverse it from your poor notes in only a couple of days. If you are going to be any use against the Pony of Shadows, you need to take the ‘I’ out of your worldview of ‘team’, and you need to do it now.”

Star Swirl glared back. “I will not be lectured to by a pegasus foal! Begone!” His horn lit up and his magic surrounded me before I could react. He started pushing me out the door but two could play at that game. I switched to pegacorn form and used my magic to dispel his telekinetic grip on me. Then I marched right up to him, wings spread, glaring down at him furiously.

“Who do you think you are to manhandle (ponyhandle?) a legitimate ruler of Equestria like that? Your age and reputation do not give you that right!”

Star Swirl stared in surprise and retreated a step. “C-Celestia? Is that really you? Why were you masquerading as a pegasus stallion?”

“Because she isn’t, you fool! I’m Princess Mark Wells, not her. Check out the cutie mark, and then stop making and acting on assumptions!”

Twilight stepped up then. “Mark Wells is right – just because we’re all young does not make us incompetent. Yes, we still make mistakes but everypony does, even you. I let tiredness cloud my judgement and I should have listened to my friends when they told me to rest instead of working on your banishment spell. While I don’t regret releasing you and the other Pillars of Old Equestria, we need to stop arguing and start figuring out ways to deal with the unintended consequences.” She started to turn away but then paused. “Oh, and one more thing, Star Swirl – don’t ever disrespect my fellow Triarchs again. Trixie held Equestria together in the absence of Celestia and Luna until Mark joined her. As prescribed by Alicorn Law, I challenged her right to lead Equestria and lost, but she still reached out to me and asked me to rule by her side. She is part of what makes the Triarchy strong and you will treat her with the respect that she deserves.”

Trixie gave her a gratified look. Star Swirl seemed conflicted, but in the end, he nodded and replied, “As you command, Your Highness.”

I was impressed by how Twilight had grown a backbone and, satisfied that the old mage was at least deciding to be cooperative for the moment, I switched back to my stallion form.

Star Swirl said, “I have not seen the likes of this magic before. You are not a unicorn mage, so how is it that you can transform so readily?”

“Long story for another time. We have bigger problems right now.” I turned to Twilight. “Until we can figure out some plan of action, I strongly recommend that you get some sleep. You’ll be of far more use to us when your thinking is not affected by fatigue.”

Twilight looked ready to argue for a moment before she sighed in resignation. “You’re right, Mark. Just promise to wake me if something important comes up.”

“Deal. Spike – get Twilight hot cocoa and make sure she goes to bed.”

“On it!” Spike replied. “Come on, Twilight – I’ve had stuff ready for you in the kitchen for ages.”

I chuckled at the look that the old-timers had on their faces as Spike led the alicorn away gently but firmly. “Yes, that dragon is Twilight’s adopted brother and he dotes on her, not to mention being her number one assistant. Bet they didn’t do that sort of thing back in your day.”

“Nay, they did not,” Flash Magnus replied. “It is clear that much has changed in our absence.”

“Aye. I fought many a dragon,” Rockhoof said, “but none served me dinner.”

I grinned. “I think you will enjoy learning what Equestria is like a millennium later. Pinkie – that’s your cue.”

There was an explosion of streamers in the air and the sound of party noisemakers. “Yes! It’s time for your Welcome Back From Limbo Not The Dancing Kind Party! Follow me, everypony!”

Star Swirl blinked. “Are you seriously suggesting that we drop our efforts to deal with the Pony of Shadows?”

“No, but instead of working yourselves into a frenzy, go have something to eat and drink, relax, catch up with current events, and then discuss the situation calmly and rationally with your new friends. Trust me – that works better than you may believe. We have some of the smartest and most competent ponies in Equestria gathered together, and the map table will still be here later when you need it.”

The bearded unicorn very reluctantly walked after the others. I followed behind to make sure he didn’t try to slip back.

“Oh, and one more thing – if you value your sanity, don’t try to figure Pinkie Pie out. There are some things a pony is not supposed to know.”

We gathered together in the Great Hall which had been decorated for a party complete with a “Welcome Back” sign that probably hadn’t even existed a few minutes ago. By now, I had learned not to question such things. The party pony’s magic extended to a table laden with various foods and drink appropriate to the occasion which she probably whipped up early this morning on a body-twitching premonition she would need them later. I actually had regrets about warning Star Swirl about Pinkie’s uncanny abilities – it would have been fun watching him go nuts trying to determine how she did what she did. Pinkie was already serving cake to Somnambula by the time I arrived.

I waited for everypony to get a snack excepting Star Swirl who seemed determined to be contrary, then I called for attention. “On behalf of Princess Twilight, I welcome you all to Friendship Castle. Due to certain recent events, everypony here is familiar with the Pillars of Old Equestria despite your absence for over a thousand years. I’d like to take this opportunity to formally introduce ourselves to you. First of all, you have already met Twilight who is not only the alicorn Princess of Friendship but also the Bearer of the Element of Magic and the most powerful mage of the modern era.” I looked pointedly at Star Swirl before adding, “Bar none.”

He grumbled but said nothing.

“Next, I would like to present my wife, Princess Trixie Lulamoon. Trixie is the senior of the Equestrian Triarchs and wears her wings as a badge of office.” As Beardie had already outed my wife as a fake alicorn, I thought that this was the best way of explaining why she had them. “This information is not known by the public at large as that knowledge might cause panic. We would all appreciate if you would not share it. Since the disappearance of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, she has been responsible for the welfare of the citizens of Equestria and has earned their respect.” No need to tell them that she had been a little over her head with the task. From her glance, I knew that I had earned a few snuggle points with her though.

“Next, there is me, Prince Mark Wells, completing the Triarchy. My role started as Grand Vizier to Princess Trixie, advising and assisting her with my unusual knowledge and way of thinking. Our relationship grew into something more, however, and eventually, Trixie decided that I was her stallion and I could not disagree. We were wed and due to the laws of the realm, that made me a prince too.” I switched shape to Marklestia. “In this form, I have my own horn to go with my wings but I am not a true alicorn. I call this form a pegacorn, capable of both average unicorn magic but superior pegasus abilities. And yes, I am truly female in this body.” I switched back. “However, I still prefer my natural stallion form.”

“As do I!” Trixie added with a smirk.

Many of those assembled chuckled before I continued. “I spoke of Twilight being the bearer of the Element of Magic, but there are five others. First, Rarity Belle – Bearer of the Element of Generosity.”

“Charmed to make your acquaintance,” Rarity said.

“Rainbow Dash – Element of Loyalty,” I said, pointing to the colorful pegasus.

“Hi! No need to thank us for getting you outa Limbo!”

“Then there’s Applejack Apple – Bearer of the Element of Honesty.”

The mare doffed her hat. “Pleased to meetcha.”

“Fluttershy – Bearer of the Element of Kindness.”

“Umm… hello.”

“And, of course, your hostess and Bearer of the Element of Laughter – Pinkie Pie.”

Confetti showered from everywhere and the mare was nearly overcome by giggles. “And I just wanna say how happy we are to have you back with us and we can hear all the marvelous things that you did as heroes of Equestria and all the places and ponies you’ve met and parties you’ve had and you gotta meet all our friends in Ponyville and the rest of Equestria and then there’s Seaquestria too because I know that the hippogriffs are going to want to talk to you too and not to mention—”

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I interrupted. “I’m sure you can tell our guests all about that later. I have a few more ponies to introduce still.”

“Oh. Okay!” Pinkie replied brightly and went about serving up drinks.

“Next, I’d like to introduce Starlight Glimmer, my personal advisor and a powerful mage in her own right. Then there’s Twilight’s own advisor and Royal Researcher, Moon Dancer. Sunburst is also a scholar and advisor to Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire. He was the one who discovered Star Swirl’s last journal which enabled us to learn what happened to the Pillars of Equestria so long ago. The bat-pony is my personal guard and close friend, Penumbra. And last but not least, Discord, the Lord of Chaos and a heck of an Ogres and Oubliettes player.”

“Well, it’s about time somepony acknowledged that. I put a lot of effort into setting up those games, you know?”

“I still feel that you are a fool befriending a draconequus,” Star Swirl said in a surly tone.

“Chaos is not inherently evil or good,” I replied. “All Discord needed was a reason to choose between them. Because you apparently never understood the Magic of Friendship, you could never achieve what these ponies have done. I suggest that you get used to the idea that you have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Harrumph! And what are these Elements that you so proudly boast about?”

“Only Equestria’s most powerful defense against the forces of evil,” Rarity replied.

“Then we are going to need them if we are to stand a chance of capturing and re-imprisoning the Pony of Shadows,” Star Swirl declared.

I said, “Speaking of which, I want to hear about everything that happened when you released the Pillars. Applejack, could you enlighten me?” I chose her because I trusted her not to embellish the tale.

Applejack described how Twilight had gathered all her friends to help with the ritual. When she couldn’t find me, she was too impatient to wait and took off for Ponehenge along with all the tokens that we had found. They were needed to act as anchors for the spell to draw the six Pillars back from Limbo which they succeeded in doing. However, they belatedly found out that they had drawn the Pony of Shadows back at the same time.

“Why didn’t any of you consider that possibility?” I asked.

Starlight raised a hoof. “I did, actually, but Twilight was too fatigued and focused on the task to pay attention to me. I’m sorry – I should have stopped her when I could.”

“No recriminations, Starlight. What’s done is done. Besides, I’m not sure if anything would have stopped Twilight short of tackling her and forcing her to rest and think it over. She also needs to take better care of herself now that she’s pregnant, so we all need to look out for her. I also could have made her take a break, but that was my failure. We need to move on and start considering how to deal with the Pony of Shadows.”

“But how are we going to find him?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Somnambula replied, “The Pony of Shadows could always be found where the darkness was deepest and evil beings lurked.”

“Perhaps the map table could help us there?” Sunburst suggested.

“Not a bad idea,” Starlight replied. “After all, it was what got us started on collecting the tokens in the first place. Surely it had a reason.”

“I’m still wondering how an inanimate object can be such a know-it-all,” I muttered, then louder, “For what reason would the Pony of Shadows seek that kind of thing out, besides the obviously cliché, of course.”

Star Swirl smirked at me. “Don’t you know, Prince Wells?” he said sarcastically. “The Pony of Shadows consumes the dark of heart to make himself stronger. Why do you think we needed to sacrifice ourselves to send him to Limbo? If he gets too powerful, not all the magic in Equestria will save us.”

All our guests were given rooms for the night although Star Swirl insisted that he would be working on ways of dealing with our foe. I left Starlight to watch over and assist the old coot with strict instructions to let me know if he got up to anything suspicious. Trixie and I left for Canterlot via a daggerscale portal immediately afterwards. Not only did we have Day Court in the morning, but we also had to put the Royal Guard on alert for sightings of the Pony of Shadows. The Night Guard was put on yellow alert, doubling their numbers at key points in the castle. We sent messages to the local authorities of the cities and major townships to look out for signs of this new threat. The head of the Guild of Mages wasn’t thrilled about being woken. He always had an early night because of his regular duty as leader of the group that raised the sun and lowered the moon. The sleep-deprived stallion also did not suffer from Twilight’s hero-worship of the returned mage. He promised to send a research team to join Star Swirl in Ponyville in the morning before politely but firmly telling us goodnight. Can’t say I blamed him. At least he knew the value of getting a good night’s sleep before attempting anything important.

With those things accomplished, there was little else we could do besides worry, so my wife and I headed to our suite. Neither of us was in the mood for anything more than snuggling up together in bed. We lay there quietly for a while before Trixie spoke up.

“Dowser – thank you for having faith in Trixie.”

“No need to thank me, Lulu. I only spoke the truth.”

She giggled. “Only slightly embellished.”

“Sometimes the truth has to be embellished to be seen as the truth,” I replied with a kiss. “Otherwise ponies would not know how truly Great and Powerful my wife is.”

“And a Great and Powerful Princess needs her Wise and Masterful husband at her side.”

“Always, my love.”

She was silent for a while before speaking up again.

“Will our child be safe, Dowser?”

“I promise that I will protect both of you with my life if need be.”

“Silly stallion – our daughter will need her father too.”

“I fully intend to be there for our son if possible.”

“You do realize that our foal is statistically likely to be a filly, don’t you?”

“Is it too late to order twins?”

She giggled again. “You forgot to specify that when you rutted Trixie.”

“My sneaky wife failed to tell me that I could get her pregnant by making love to her immediately before the heat.”

“It’s a good thing that Trixie did or she might still be waiting for you to get your courage up for starting a family.”

It suddenly occurred to me that I might have been missing subtle cues up to that point. Good thing one of us knew what she was doing. After all this time, I was still learning how to be a pony. “Sorry that I kept you waiting, Lulu.”

“Trixie forgives you because she knows our foal will be perfect.”

I nuzzled her and then we kissed. We fell into silence once more. I thought that she had fallen asleep when suddenly she said, “Hold us tight, Mark.”

I did as she asked, feeling the slight shiver of fear go through her body. She had good cause. We faced a villain stronger than six of the greatest heroes Equestria had ever seen. Even after joining forces with their modern counterparts, we were in for a tough battle against a foe that had declared his intention to bring darkness to the world. Nevertheless, I was damned if I would let that happen to my wife and unborn child. I knew I couldn’t do that alone, but fortunately, I had powerful friends.

While the map table had shown us a number of candidates for locations of darkness throughout Equestria, they were a bust. Some may have been gathering places for evil a millennia ago, but they had been changed beyond recognition over the years. The daggerscale portals did allow Twilight to give the Pillars a whirlwind tour of some places in Equestria. I understand their reaction to Las Pegasus and Manehattan was comical. Nothing like all the culture shock all at once. Rockhoof caught onto one modern idea a bit too well though and got kicked out of the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Golden Horseshoe!

One ancient desert ruin had looked promising, but nopony had been home. Twilight stationed a squadron of guards there along with several mages. Constantly renewed portals to the area allowed reinforcements to be brought at a moment’s notice. Unfortunately, the Pony of Shadows was busy elsewhere.

It didn’t take long before reports of anomalous occurrences started coming in. The first was brought into Day Court on Tuesday by the Captain of the Guard who had orders to bring these to our attention immediately. The Manehattan jail had been raided overnight and several inmates were missing. A couple of hours later, Baltimare sent a similar message. Neither of their reinforced security details had been able to stop the Pony of Shadows. Perhaps the Element Bearers and the Pillars together could have achieved more, but we had no idea where our foe would strike next. I should have known better.

I frowned as I stood in the final hallway. Ragged Edge and Lost Scroll swept the area ahead of me with wide beams from their horns. Curiously, the motes of dust floating in the air reflected a different color back to us with each pass of their magic. Not having anything else to do, I stood quietly. It wasn’t often the Guild of Mages were conscripted into the defense of Equestria. I certainly wasn’t going to insult their contribution by being impatient.

After a full minute or more, the elder of the two, Lost Scroll, said, “Clear!”

We marched forward— I couldn’t hear the dozens of hoofsteps behind me. I expected that of the Night Guard, but Penumbra had also done something to mask any noise she made. I suppressed a wince as we passed by the cell previously occupied by Flim and Flam. A maid was wiping away blood from the back wall. The unicorn twins were expected to make a full recovery, but Flam would need to be in traction for weeks.

At the end of the corridor, the mages and guards performed a coordinated dance to exchange places with their counterparts already stationed there. Each tried to carry out their movements without losing a direct line of sight with the cell’s occupant. When that was done, Penny gave me a nod.

I walked up to sit in front of the open doorway I had visited only a week past. Chrysalis lay in the same position, as far as I could tell. Still knitting her scarf, though she was openly smirking this time.

I waited until she finished her current line of loops. “I understand you had a busy evening.” When she said nothing, I continued. “You wanted to see me?”

With extreme care, the changeling queen set down her work. She fixed me with a sardonic smile. “I feel I was in error... and thought you might like to know. It seems there is at least one pony who is both interesting and powerful enough for me to consider it to be an equal.”

Still no indication of what she wanted. Fine. I’d get what I wanted first: information. I waved a hoof and nodded for her to elaborate.

Chrysalis sighed, looking almost, but not quite, like a young filly pining after an unrequited love. “You may find this difficult to believe, but I was just lying here, knitting – not bothering anypony...”

~ ~ ~

Shouts came from further up the hallway – alarmed ponies yelling punctuated by occasional screams and horn blasts. Two of my guards ran up the hallway, then one of the mages. The final mage and pair of guards alternately glanced at me and the direction their companions had gone. This continued until I heard a loud thump from nearby and a limp guard hurtled past my door, slamming into one of his fellow guardsponies. The lone remaining mage took a broad stance and his eyes and horn glowed white. He said, “Cover your eyes,” doubtless to the armored earth pony next to him.

I narrowed mine to slits so I could witness his casting crackling sphere after sphere of power at some enemy I could not see. The hallway was bathed in bright pulses of light that made him appear to be nothing but a silhouette. Even in my room, enough light poured in to obliterate every shadow. The assault was having its desired effect if the thundering howls of pain were any indication.

The stallion nor his guard saw the tendrils of smoke coming up behind them. The coils grabbed each around a hind leg and yanked them backward. After a few loud thuds, their screams cut off.

“Well then,” I thought to myself as I set down my work. “Somepony went through a great deal of trouble to visit me. I wonder if they are employed by the Storm King? If so, my options are limited.”

The deep, echoing voice I had heard earlier had stopped to talk with the two dolts who also resided in my level of the dungeon. “You two. Truly your crimes must be monumental! Recount them so we may revel in the glory of their retelling!”

A weak, trembling voice answered after a long pause. “Well... uh... we’re accountants.”

The booming voice answered. “Ah! Truly! Truly! And what is this ‘accounting’ of which you speak? Doubtless, it involves counting the victims you dispatch. Tell me. What is your body count? Between the two of you?” The voice betrayed a hint of excitement. “Dozens? Hundreds?”

More silence. “Well... none, actually.”

The brother chipped in. “We were stopped before we could make off with all their money.”

“That was unwise,” I muttered under my breath, picking up my knitting again. True to my prediction, there was a very brief period of screams and thumping.

I heard the dark voice grumble as it grew closer. “This era is so disappointing— even in the dungeons there is no true villainy. Everypony farts butterflies and urinates rainbows.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a swirling gray shape stop outside my doorway. Until it chose to do something, it was of no concern, so I continued with my work. It glanced briefly at the fields keeping me in my cell, then the room plunged into darkness. When light returned, the magic barriers were gone and it moved silently into my cell. Only then did I notice my manacles were gone, as well as the chains that had attached them to the wall. I had not heard or sensed their disappearance, which I found unnerving. Still, I could show no weakness. I ignored the creature approaching me.

“What a vulgar and unsightly monster you are. Doubtless, imprisoned because of the unpardonable crime of scaring foals.”

I laughed. “Hardly, though I believe you are accurate about tales of me being used to terrify colts and fillies.”

I set down my needles and stared up into glowing, featureless white eyes. That was the only solid detail of its form as its outline wavered everywhere else. “No, I am here because my invasion resulted in the death of... I’m not sure... a hundred and thirty ponies? ... two hundred?” I shook my head. “I can’t rightly remember. Anyway, there’s a scroll of their names and occupations in the far corner. I’m supposed to read it and weep about them or some other pony-like reaction.”

The thing in front of me smiled, its lips pulling back far beyond what would have been possible for a being of flesh and blood. Even I was a bit intimidated, though I could not dare show it. “Ah! At last! A creature of pure evil.”

I blinked. “I don’t understand.”

The smile faltered. “You are indifferent to the suffering you cause ponies. You have no empathy for them. That is the definition of evil.”

I laughed and stood up. I started lecturing the apparition like I would a nymph. “Oh, I see your misconception. As you can tell, I am not a pony. I am a changeling. A queen changeling. Ponies are food to me. A tool to be used, nothing more.”

I moved close enough to see that the stallion was made of folding shadows, not smoke as I had first assumed. “Tell me – is a cragadile evil for stepping on an ant mound? Is a bird evil for feeding worms to its chicks? No. It is nothing more than nature at work.”

The creature frowned. “But ponies can think and feel. They are sapient. It is a crime to kill such beings.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Your argument is pointless. What about manticores? Or hydras? Are they evil for killing ponies? No. They are simply higher up on the food chain, just like I am.”

“But you delight in their suffering, do you not?”

A dozen small clues from its speech and body movements coalesced in my mind. At its base, this was a stallion... I was not sure yet of the tribe. “No. My only concern is for the welfare of my children. That they no longer starve while surrounded by abundance.”

His wide grin returned. “You lie. I recognize that gleam in your eyes, regardless of your species. You enjoy causing pain, rejoicing in your victories, crushing the spirits of your enemies.” His head lowered until we were staring eye to eye. “You crave nothing more than the moment when your foe realizes they have no hope.”

I answered his stare. “I will not deny that such would give me pleasure in the past, but I no longer let such thoughts distract me. That weakness was the cause of my downfall. I have since purged it from my psyche.”

The creature began to pace around me slowly. “Ah, but you have the potential to do so again. Once you and your brood are glutted, you will return to the same thoughts, emotions, and actions as before. Just having that capability is all that is required to make you evil.”

I smirked. “Then you had best place every pony alive into the same herd. All ponies would do reprehensible acts if put under sufficient stress for long enough time. No. Mere potential is not sufficient. The capability to act on those feelings is required and my discipline will no longer allow it. You imagine me to be on a path that no longer exists.”

“Yet ponies died because of your actions.”

I tilted my head. “You would judge somepony to be evil because of outcomes? That is just as ludicrous. The saintliest pony could unintentionally spread their disease to an elderly mare who does not survive. Does that make them ‘evil’? I intended no pony to die during my invasion because I valued all of them as a food source. Does that make me ‘good’? Your pony legend of Flash Magnus…” The being snarled at the mention of the mythical pony’s name. Interesting. “… fought and slew dragons while his fellow soldiers rescued his compatriots. Does this make him ‘good’ in the eyes of ponies or ‘evil’ in the eyes of dragons? No, the label of ‘evil’ is arbitrary. A meaningless word bestowed upon the loser by those who write the history books.”

I stamped my hoof. “I am Chrysalis, Queen of Changelings. I fight for the destiny of my race where no other has the courage. I stand by my actions without repentance because they were mine alone.”

“So you physically consume your prey while they are still alive?”

I sighed. Yet another morbid stallion. “No, my kind does not. We are emotivores, not carnivores.” I tapped one of the bands on my horn. “These prevent me from forcefully absorbing the positive emotions that sustain those of my kind. I can feel you have none. I am no threat to you. But what use could you be for my goals?”

Its head jerked upwards. “A collaboration? I promise revenge upon those that defeated and imprisoned you. After you join with me, you will help plunge all of Equestria into darkness and despair.”

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “‘Join with you?’” I sat down so I could wave my hoof. “Allow myself to be consumed body and mind for such a goal? I think not. My will is stronger than any pony’s. More likely I would tear control of the shadow being away from you and make it my own, unicorn.”

The creature blinked, telling me my hunch was correct. It wasn’t smiling anymore. I pressed my advantage and asked for what I wanted from this monster. “No. I propose an alliance. I share what I know of these ponies and their capabilities. You remove these bands and provide the muscle to defeat them.”

He sneered. “Follow your orders? Be a slave to your will? I am no one’s slave. I will rule over all Equestria and beyond.”

He was slipping away. Time for the final appeal. “Which is the same promise I have made to myself. We are not so different, you and I. As I have already said, I am not a threat to you. We can accomplish more together than we can apart.”

“I think not. I will leave you to rot in your cell, changeling. Do not let me see you again. If I do, you will be vivisected.” The edges of the creature’s form collapsed. It drew inwards upon itself until there was nothing left.

I sighed as I muttered aloud. “Stupid ponies. I actually liked that one. Such promise. All wasted because it thought too much of itself.”

I stood up, stretched, then walked out of my doorway. “Time to make the best of the situation.”

~ ~ ~

I frowned as I stared at Chrysalis. She was positively beaming.

“Why aren’t you happy, Prince Mark Wells? After all, you’ve been proven to be correct, yet again. Now I just have to sit in my cell like the parasite I am, waiting for the host creatures to deal with the problem I could not.”

After a pause, I said, “Just for the record, it was thirty ponies that died during your invasion.”

She gasped, her smile unchanging. “Was it really? Thank you for correcting me. Though my debt to Equestria should be reduced by three or four, wouldn’t you agree? My quick actions saved a few lives among the injured guards, mages, and the twin dolts, I am to understand.”

“Your application of first aid likely saved the lives of two guards and a mage. Thank you. However, I know you were acting out of self-interest. What is your game, Chrysalis? Why did you stay when you could have made a run for it?”

The queen came closer to the restored magical field at the doorway and sat down. “Perhaps I have started to make friends among the ponies that guard but refuse to speak to me? No? Not believable?” She tapped a magic suppression ring with a hoof. “I would most likely have been captured or killed on sight. I surmised the dungeons had been pacified but not the city or the rest of the castle.”

Her smile grew sharper and her eyes bore into mine. “Besides, that powerful oaf and I were at cross purposes. Cause suffering and death among my food? How would that help me or my future hive in any way? It was wise not to trust me.”

She leaned back. “I know you will fight me to your last breath, trying to prevent me taking my rightful place as ruler of ponies. But you could give me the other thing I desire.”

“The Storm King? You know I can’t do that.”

Her fanged grin returned. “Ah, but that’s just it, isn’t it? Twilight Sparkle would not give it a moment’s thought. Your beloved Trixie does not have it in her either, but you, Prince Mark Wells, would consider it. Soon, you will find that reason.” She waved a hoof. “I am not indirectly threatening your wife or friends. I am saying we live in interesting times. Someday, you will need my skills to save your beloved Equestria. Out of all the royals, for you, the idea stops being a ‘can’t’ and becomes a ‘might’.”

I frowned and continued to stare at the smiling changeling queen. With the scarf hanging in arcs behind her, she looked very much like a spider waiting for me to step into her web.

I stood up. “Until that day, Your Majesty.”

I didn’t wait for her response. Once my bodyguard and I were up to the next level of the dungeons, I asked, “Your thoughts, Penny?”

There was no trace of frivolity to her voice. “Let’s hope that day never comes.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Star Swirl, Mark, & Trixie art by Baron Engel.

Chapter 64 - The Light of Truth

“You want to what?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed with horror.

All the Pillars and other Elements were watching me try to reason with the pegasus mare next to the map table. “Calm down, Dash. We just want a few threads,” I replied.

“You’re not ruining my scarf!”

“Like I said, we just need a few threads from it. Rarity will make sure it’s as good as new when we’re done. Besides, technically it belongs to Somnambula and she is fine with the idea.”

The Pillar of Hope nodded her head while smiling encouragingly at my friend. Rainbow continued to grumble but reluctantly hoofed the token over to Twilight who had been waiting patiently for her friend to get over her inevitable tantrum.

“Thanks, Rainbow,” the alicorn said before she took it over to a table where she and Star Swirl examined it with their magic.

The preservation spell on the blindfold, now scarf, resisted any attempts to unravel it, so that had to be undone before we could go further. That kind of magic wasn’t intended to be cancelled, so it was tricky, even with Star Swirl and Twilight working together. Between the two mages, they were able to set up a localized field where the preservation spell was temporarily neutralized. Rarity moved in and swiftly pulled out a seam, removed a single thread, and stitched the seam back in place. The entire task was accomplished in a few minutes and I honestly could not tell the difference from the original. Remind me to have Rarity do the stitching if I ever needed surgery.

I placed the thread in a pouch for easier handling and so it wouldn’t get lost. Then I hoofed it over to Dash.

The colorful mare glared at the bag and then at me. “What, is this my consolation prize? I don’t need it, thanks so much.”

She turned and trotted away, making me have to chase after her. “Rainbow, this will help us find the Pony of Shadows.”

Dash turned back and regarded the bag again after I successfully gave it to her. “How? What am I supposed to do with this?”

“You know how we’ve been unable to track down the whereabouts of the Pony of Shadows all week? Well, Starlight suggested that instead of attempting to find him, let’s try finding the criminals that he’s been taking to increase his power. However, to track them, we need something that the Map Table can detect. As it can consistently find the Pillars’ tokens, we’re hoping it can do the same for a part of one. So, what we want you to do is go for a flight and we’ll watch the Map to see if our theory holds weight.”

“Blah, blah, blah, egghead stuff, you want me to go on a joy flight. Got it.” With that, she exited the room at her usual breakneck speed.

The rest of us headed to the map room to check out the table. Twilight was the first there and she immediately exclaimed, “It’s working!”

Sure enough, we could all see two icons of the scarf, one stationary at Friendship Castle and the other rapidly heading south, skirting the Everfree Forest. Then the path changed trajectory to head east over Froggy Bottom Bog to Rambling Rock Ridge before heading back to the castle. This took only a few minutes. Rainbow Dash had to be going supersonic to get around that fast. Flash Magnus whistled as he watched the icon of Somnambula's blindfold zoom across the map.

A crash of thunder announced the return of the prismatic mare to Ponyville airspace. Yep – sonic rainboom. She must have been wanting to let off some steam after having her precious scarf ‘mutilated’.

Rainbow raced back into the map room trailed by her trademark rainbow streak. She landed next to Sunburst while tossing the bag onto the table. “Well?” she demanded.

“The experiment was a success,” Twilight replied with delight. She described the path we had witnessed and Rainbow Dash nodded.

“But how exactly are we supposed to get the Pony of Shadows to take one of these?” Dash asked.

“Simple,” I replied. “Rarity will weave the thread into the prison uniform of a criminal that we consider to be a prime target for our nemesis. We’ll go to the jails that the demon pony hasn’t struck yet, pick out candidates and put a thread tracker on them. Neither the criminals nor the Pony of Shadows will be able to detect them.”

“More threads!” Dash groaned. “My poor scarf.”

Despite our friend’s worries, very little harm was done to her favorite piece of apparel, and Rarity kept reassuring her that it could be restored as good as new later.

The fashionista traveled with Twilight to all the cities that had not been hit yet. While the alicorn kept the chosen inmates distracted with an informative slideshow about the Pony of Shadows, Rarity used her magic to deftly weave a thread into the collar of their prison garb where it wouldn’t be noticed. I don’t think the prisoners appreciated the pop quiz at the end of the lesson. For that matter, I don’t think the guards liked the convicts’ unanimous requests for a repeat of the entire lecture “just to make sure they got the idea.” Doubtless, the Princess of Knowledge was the most entertaining break to the monotony of prison life in the history of ever. Fortunately, Rarity was there to tear Twilight from her appreciative audience and on to the next town and another jail.

We had immediate success. That night, the Vanhoover Penitentiary was raided and three ponies disappeared. When the Map Table was consulted, we found the duplicate icons hovering over Hollow Shades.

“Didn’t we already go there?” Flash Magnus asked.

“We did,” I confirmed. “Of course, we didn’t find the Pony of Shadows at the time, and while it seemed to be a prime candidate, there wasn’t any proof that he was anywhere nearby. Now we know for sure. Even if he’s not present when we arrive, we can wait for him to return.”

Twilight said, “Star Swirl and I have worked out a new, stronger banishment spell utilizing the Elements in conjunction with the Tokens. It will be able to send the Pony of Shadows to Limbo without dragging any of us along with him.”

“Wait!” Starlight said with a frown. “The Map only ever sends us to solve friendship problems but you’re going to send Stygian to Limbo without even trying to help him as the Princess of Friendship? Just zap him and wipe your hooves of the matter?”

Twilight looked startled. “What? Oh, no! I’m sorry that I didn’t make myself clear. Of course, we’re going to try talking to him first, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll try to cleanse him just as we did Nightmare Moon. Hopefully, we can evict the shadow demon and redeem Stygian. Star Swirl insisted that we have a backup plan though, and it does make sense. We’ll only banish him if all else fails.”

“I see,” Starlight said with a nod of understanding. “I would hate to think what would have happened to me if your first impulse had been to send me to Limbo rather than show me the error of my ways.”

Twilight gave her a hug. “Don’t worry, Starlight. Trust us to do the right thing.”

“So, what happens now?” Pinkie asked as she passed around bags of popcorn.

Twilight replied, “Now, we go to the Tree of Harmony and retrieve the Elements.”

Fluttershy said, “Umm… Won’t that hurt it?”

Twilight shook her head. “The Tree survived a thousand years without them. We’re only going to borrow them for a day or so and then put them back.”

There was a daggerscale portal located at the Castle of the Two Sisters which we used to quickly get to the cave that was home to the Tree of Harmony. It was a short walk, but that gave me time to think over something Starlight had said. The Map sent us all over the world to solve “Friendship Problems” and it had been particularly proactive with regard to the Pillars and the Pony of Shadows. The explanation from the Pillars about Stygian’s motives seemed too glib and simplistic to me regardless of Star Swirl’s emphatic opinion. Despite standing up to the old wizard earlier, I believed that Twilight was still seeing him through rose-colored glasses. Something felt wrong but I didn’t know exactly what, so I went with the flow for the moment.

All six of the Pillars were awed by the sight of the Tree of Harmony.

Somnambula said, “I am pleased to see what has grown from our efforts so long ago.”

“It truly is beautiful,” Mistmane agreed. “It seems a shame to harm it.”

“A necessary sacrifice,” Star Swirl said sternly. “With the addition of the Elements’ power, we will be able to bind the Pony of Shadows in Limbo when Twilight’s plan to talk the Pony of Shadows into submission fails.”

The alicorn’s face fell at the lack of faith her idol showed in her and Starlight frowned at his dismissive attitude.

Star Swirl’s horn lit up and the Elements were plucked from where they resided within the Tree of Harmony. Of their accord, they flew to their Bearers and transformed into their familiar necklaces. Star Swirl tried to intercept the Element of Magic only to have it slip from the glow of his telekinetic field. It made a beeline for Twilight, transforming into her tiara and settling on her head.

Star Swirl gasped. “What is this? I am one of its creators and yet it rejects me?”

Twilight smiled apologetically. “The Elements choose their Bearers. For example…” She levitated the Element crown from her head and placed it on mine. I gave a sheepish smile, aware of my substitute nature.

The old mage glared at me and tried to take the Element once more. Again, it slipped out of his magical grasp and settled back on my head.

“But he’s not even a unicorn!” objected Star Swirl.

“I can be,” I said, switching to Marklestia form.

“The point is,” Twilight began hastily to forestall argument, taking back the tiara, “Mark has been accepted by the Element of Magic as a Bearer. You have not, unfortunately.”

“And why is that?” he demanded.

I rolled my eyes. “Because, as we keep telling you, you don’t understand the Magic of Friendship. Until you do, you won’t ever be able to be a Bearer or even as powerful as Twilight. Think about that when we go try to redeem Stygian.”

He gave me the stink-eye but refrained from saying more.

Rockhoof broke the uncomfortable silence. “How do ye use these wee Elements of yours?”

Rarity replied, “Well we… umm… they just seem to work for us.”

“It does not matter,” Star Swirl said. “The spell will take care of that aspect. We merely have to use them paired with the Pillar’s tokens to create an irresistible portal to Limbo to banish the threat to Equestria.”

Flash Magnus said, “It will be an honor to fight the demon by your sides.”

As everypony started to walk off, I heard Starlight murmur, “I hope Twilight knows what she’s doing.”

Me too, Glim-Glam. Me too.

We made our way back to Twilight’s castle. Trixie was waiting in the map room and she reported that the icons over Hollow Shades were still there. It was decided that we go immediately and strike while the iron was hot.

My wife came up to me and said, “You don’t have to go with them, Dowser. The Elements and the Pillars should be able to take care of this problem by themselves.”

Problem. There it was again. Was this a Friendship Problem? “Sorry, Lulu, but I get the feeling that I’ll be needed. I have to go.”

“Don’t take any stupid risks or Trixie will never forgive you!”

I leaned over to give her a kiss. “I’ll do my very best to obey my Princess, but as a Prince of Equestria, it’s my duty to be part of this quest. And it’s your duty to take care of yourself and our foal that you bear.”

After a final parting hug, I left to join my companions.

Hollow Shades was a dismal place. Between the ruined buildings, perpetual cloud cover, and blighted vegetation, it gave me the shivers. No wonder it had been abandoned centuries ago.

“I don’t recall the village being anything like this when we visited it back in our time,” Meadowbrook said.

Mistmane replied, “That was long in the past. The Pony of Shadows must have twisted it to match his own dark desires before we banished him.”

“Yeah, the whole place stinks of dark magic,” Starlight commented.

I had to agree. This former small township was nestled in the midst of an otherwise healthy forest, so there wasn’t any other reason for it to be in this condition. We cautiously made our way to the center where a wide well was located, looking for evidence of our quarry. The detachment of Royal Guards that we had brought along to back us up spread out to search the deserted village.

Rainbow Dash peered into the well but couldn’t see anything through the gloom. “Maybe he’s down there?”

Before anyone could respond, sinister laughter came at us from all directions, confirming that the Pony of Shadows was not only present but also aware of us.

Star Swirl said, “Prepare yourselves.” Then he shouted, “Stygian! Come out and face us!”

In response, the laughter only grew louder and the ground started quaking. Before anyone realized what was happening, the area surrounding the well collapsed. Those of us with wings halted our fall and Rainbow Dash and Flash Magnus had enough presence of mind to catch Rarity and Mistmane. Twilight, Star Swirl, and Starlight all lit up their horns to cushion everypony’s fall with their magic. I’m sorry to say that I was caught completely by surprise and didn’t help. So, while most ended up in a pile on the floor, it was only with mussed manes at worst. For the moment, I was still in my pegasus form with my ace-in-the-hole still available.

As we either landed or got back on our hooves, I paused to look around. We found ourselves in an underground building of some kind – a temple if I was to guess. While there were sconces on the walls, none contained any form of illumination and all the light in the room came through the hole in the roof. Consequently, much of the interior was shadowed, but one corner got darker as a black cloud started to grow to the sound of echoing laughter. Star Swirl immediately threw a protective dome around us as the Pony of Shadows strode out from the midst of the cloud.

“Welcome to the Well of Shade!” the demon pony declared. “When you ‘heroes’ turned your backs on me, I discovered this place. It spoke to me with a power beyond any that I could imagine and I listened. The shadow and I became one. Soon, all of Equestria will be the same and then all ponies will feel the anger and despair that I did when you cast me out!”

Star Swirl sternly replied, “We did what we had to do when you tried to steal our powers for yourself!”

“NO! It was you who were selfish. Now you will pay!”

“WAIT!” shouted Twilight. “You have your grievances with the Pillars, but surely there must be a way for settling them without resorting to extreme measures. Why do you feel they were selfish?”

“They were unwilling to share their power and glory. I was always the one to organize and strategize, but when the deed was done, they reaped the rewards while I was ignored in the background. So I decided to take what was mine by right!”

“But these were your friends! Surely you could have talked with them and explain your resentment and being sidelined?”

“Talk? HA! If you listened to Star Swirl, you would believe that he was the one solely responsible for our victories, that it was his infallible plans and power that won the day. I was but a footnote in the tale.”

Star Swirl replied before Twilight could. “You seek to obfuscate the truth with your lies and exaggerations. The only thing that matters is that you were caught stealing our possessions in order to take more than you deserved!”

“LIAR!” roared the Pony of Shadows. He lashed out with an enormous ebony beam of power. How something can glow black, I could not understand, but I could see its effects. Our shield immediately began to crack and buckle under the onslaught. Moments later, it shattered. I switched to pegacorn form to assist Starlight and Mistmane with a new shield while the Element Bearers did their thing.

Realizing that the moment to talk was lost, Twilight called out, “Now, girls!”

Their Elements started to glow and the Bearers began to rise from the ground. However, before they were even halfway done, the Pony of Shadows reacted.

“NO! The villains whom I’ve taken within myself recognize the Elements of Harmony and you will not use them against me!”

Even as he talked, thick ropes of shadow shot out from the ground in our midst and knocked the Bearers from the air, breaking their concentration. Everypony then used their abilities to fight the tentacles but Applejack decided to go one step further. She charged right through our shield – it was designed to keep magic out, not ponies in. The farm mare raced over to the Pony of Shadows, pivoted on her forelegs, lashed out with a massive buck to one dark leg… and got stuck.

“A little help here!” she called out nervously.

Even as some of us turned to rescue her, she began to sink in further. Before anypony could get to Applejack, she disappeared within the shadowy form. The demon pony started laughing again.

“Without one of your precious Bearers, you cannot use the Elements. Enough of this nonsense – time to die!”

He lashed out at us again with his beam and tendrils of darkness. Between us horned ponies, now with Twilight and a recovered Star Swirl helping, we managed to block his attacks once more.

“Your plan has failed, Princess Twilight,” Star Swirl said. “It’s time to use the banishment spell. We don’t need all the Elements for that, but we can’t afford to lose more.”

Twilight looked torn but, before she could respond, there came a pained groan from the Pony of Shadows. A moment later, from amidst the swirling darkness of his body, Applejack burst forth doing a somersault and landing on all four hooves.

Even as Twilight used her magic to drag her friend to safety, Applejack started tearing into the reeling Pony of Shadows. “You double-crossin’, pear-lovin’, foul as a pigsty in summer, no good excuse for a low-down varmint! Ah’m gonna give you a heap more trouble than you can handle!”

“Applejack! What happened?” Twilight called out.

“That ornery son of a snake stole my hat!”

Yep. The country mare’s accent definitely dialed up a few notches when she was upset.

Twilight blinked as she absorbed what her friend said. “OK. I’m sorry for your loss, but can you tell us what you saw inside the Pony of Shadows?”

“Well… Ah’m not rightly sure. Ah kept fightin’ even as Ah was sucked in. Then mah Element started glowin’ and the shadows retreated from its light. So Ah concentrated on it and fought mah way through until Ah was plum spat out.”

Twilight’s eyes widened in understanding. “As a creature of darkness, it can’t abide the light!”

“That’s not all though, Twi,” Applejack continued. “While Ah was inside, Ah saw rows of ponies in prisoner garb, all looking asleep on their hooves. In front of them Ah spotted a very much awake small grey unicorn with a blue and teal striped mane. He just up and decided to help himself to my hat and Ah’m madder than a wet hen!”

Somnambula gasped. “That was Stygian!”

I said, “I thought the Pony of Shadows was Stygian?”

Twilight furrowed her brow in thought. “If my theory is correct, Stygian is just the core of the consciousness of the Pony of Shadows, giving the demon direction and purpose.”

I frowned. Chrysalis’ intuition about there being a unicorn stallion inside the Pony of Shadows was correct. “I think you’re right, Twilight.”

The alicorn continued. “He’s not so much possessed as subsumed, much as Applejack was. Unlike her though, he never fought his way out. Instead, he gave his will over to the demon.”

Starlight said, “If he’s still separate from the Pony of Shadows, you can’t banish Stygian along with the spirit that possesses him! The prisoners don’t deserve that fate either.”

Meadowbrook said, “If there is any hope for Stygian and the others, it is in light. Enough may cure them of this affliction.”

Flash Magnus added, “But we can’t use it. If we flood the chamber with light, the Pony of Shadows will just teleport away.”

Our opponent had recovered as we talked and resumed lashing out at us with magic and tentacles of darkness. We were forced back on the defensive. That’s when Mistmane strode up and levitated her flower to act as a shield. Sure enough, it absorbed the dark magic thrown its way with no ill effects. A thin blue form took shape around her, morphing into a translucent dragon that swam through the air to dredge a channel out of our opponent with its jaws. Unfortunately, the roiling shadow healed the wound in just a few seconds. Flash Magnus used his shield to provide cover for Rockhoof who hurled large pieces of rubble at our foe with a flick of his shovel. Their efforts partially distracted the demon pony and gave us more time to change our strategy.

“If we try to use the Elements against him, he’ll just disrupt us again,” protested Rainbow Dash as she dodged the attacks.

“Then we have no choice. We must banish him,” Star Swirl declared.

“No!” Twilight exclaimed. “If Applejack can get out, then we can get Stygian out too!” She aimed her horn at the Pony of Shadows and a burst of intense white light streamed forth. The demon roared in pain but didn’t stop his assault.

Starlight added her power to Twilight’s attack. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going in. Star Swirl – you and the Pillars hold the Pony of Shadows.”

“Don’t be a fool!” Star Swirl said angrily. “We may never have another opportunity to deal with this threat.”

“No, I’m done with that plan. I’m the Princess of Friendship, not Banishment.” With that, she spread her wings and hurtled into the shadow body where it had been weakened by the light.

“Twilight Sparkle has lost her mind,” the bearded wizard said as he fended off another dark tentacle.

“No, she hasn’t,” I replied. “The only thing wrong about her plan is thinking she can do this without her friends. Hold the demon as your Princess commanded.” I then took off after Twilight, imitating her beam of light to give me access.

As the darkness closed in around me, I prayed that I hadn’t just made a terrible mistake. If Trixie ever heard about this stunt, she was going to kill me. I found myself in a dull gray expanse that snuffed out the light within a dozen feet of my horn. I folded my wings and started walking towards the sound of muffled voices. Not sure what I was walking on within a demon made of darkness, but I soon came across Twilight standing by a very downcast grey unicorn who looked just like the illustration in Star Swirl’s journal. So, that was Stygian. Frankly, the Stetson on his head didn’t really do anything for him.

“…Swirl said you betrayed them. You wanted their magic,” Twilight was saying.

“That’s not true,” he replied. “I wanted their respect. I brought them together; I planned strategy, and I read all I could about the beasts that we faced. But my body and magic were too weak to actually join in their battles so nopony ever noticed me. I decided that only by strengthening my magic could I truly join them, so I went to Ponehenge to make my own copies of their tokens. With them, I believed I could be a Pillar too and stand by their side in combat. I never wanted to steal their power. But instead of sharing and letting me help, they threw me out.”

The pony took off Applejack’s hat and tossed it away. Stygian’s eyes turned dark and his mouth twisted in a scowl. “So I became stronger than any of them. The darkness welcomed me when nopony would, and I will do what I must to protect it.”

By now, Stygian’s appearance had changed from meek and helpless to something more threatening, clouds of shadow roiling off his form.

Twilight protested, “This has all been a misunderstanding. If the Pillars truly knew how you felt, I’m sure they would never have turned their backs on you. The Shadow isn’t what you really are. Let me help you be Stygian again.”

“Even if my friends still cared, what makes you think you have the power to help me?”

“Because that’s exactly what she does,” I replied, stepping up to them. “She and her friends are renowned for their tireless work to bring friendship and harmony to Equestria and beyond. And as the Princess of Friendship, she reaches out to all beings of all nations to bring us all together in peaceful coexistence. It’s that friendship that gives all of us strength.”

Stygian scoffed. “What would you, a powerful alicorn, know of being weak and useless?”

I reverted to my normal form. “Because I’m just a clumsy pegasus with a pretty good parlor trick. Before I gained the power to transform at will, I only had my wits to serve Equestria. My biggest talent was crashing into things. Now, I am a prince of the realm and I fight alongside my friends to protect the citizens who are now my responsibility. You, too, can be a force for good once more.”

“It’s too late for that,” growled Stygian.

“It’s never too late,” came another voice. Out of the shadows strode Starlight Glimmer. She walked right up to Stygian and looked him fearlessly in his darkly glowing eyes. “Mark and Twilight once had to fight me to save all the world from my actions. And I didn’t even have a shadow demon to blame, only my own misguided and selfish motives. They saved me from my destructive course and now I am Twilight’s student. If anyponies can save a friendship, these two can.”

Stygian hesitated. “I… I want to believe you…” He looked up and snarled – his eyes glowing black. “... BUT THE DARKNESS CANNOT BE STOPPED!”

A wave of power shoved us back.

“Light will always win over darkness,” I said, switching back to pegacorn form. “Right, ladies?”

“Right!” they chorused, powering up their horns with their strongest light spell, as did I.

For a moment, I thought we had won but the demon redoubled its efforts, pushing us back further into the shadows and away from Stygian.

“You are too weak to stop me!”

Then I heard a welcome newcomer.

“Don’t be silly, Stygy-widgy! Mark didn’t mean just Twilight and Starlight.”

First Pinkie Pie pronked out of the gloom, closely followed by Rarity lighting the way, then Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and finally Fluttershy joined us, their Elements glowing.

As the darkness around Stygian whipped into a frenzy, he lowered his horn at the new arrivals. That’s when Applejack spoke up. “Ah feel Ah have to apologize. I shoudn’ta said y’all was pear-lovin’.”

The stallion blinked. “What?”

His confusion gave us the time we needed. When we gathered together, all eight of us joined hooves – not to attack but to dispel the darkness. As the pure brilliance grew, we heard the Pony of Shadows wailing in pain and fear from the darkness all around us… then abruptly, it stopped and we sprawled on the floor of the Well of Shade with no sign of the demon any longer.

As I looked around, a shaft of light flooded the temple as the clouds above us cleared away. I could see several other ponies in jail garb scattered around – undoubtedly the prisoners that the Pony of Shadows had taken from their cells. No matter – the Royal Guards who were already making their way into the Well would take care of them. The Pillars walked up as we climbed to our hooves, leaving just one haggard unicorn cowering on the stone tiles. Star Swirl stepped up to him and held out a hoof to his former comrade.

“Stygian, we could hear everything you and the others were saying. Long ago, you needed our help but instead of listening, we ignored your plight and turned our backs on you. Pride clouded my judgement. I owe you my deepest and most sincere apology.” He turned to address Twilight. “Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. It seems that I truly have something to learn about the Magic of Friendship.”

‘He finally gets it!’ I thought to myself. Not really the time to say ‘I told you so’ to his face, however.

That didn’t stop Starlight though. She stepped up to the old wizard with a smirk and said, “Well, it seems that a conversation can save Equestria.”

Star Swirl chuckled with chagrin. “Something tells me I’ll be making a lot of apologies today.”

Behind the three unicorns, I saw a delighted Applejack dusting off her hat and putting it back where it belonged. Pinkie Pie bounced up and said, “You can make them at your ‘Welcome Back to the Good Guys and We All Appreciate Stygian Party’!”

“My what?” Stygian asked, still a little confused and bewildered.

I said, “Just relax and go with the flow, my friend. You’ll enjoy it all a lot more that way.”

After a couple of hours of Pinkie Partying at Twilight’s castle, my wife gave a Royal Decree that the festivities move to the Ponyville Spa. I certainly had no problem with this. Winding down with a massage and a good soak was practically becoming a welcome routine after saving Equus. I excused myself long enough to go up to my room then returned to Twilight’s Great Hall as Marklestia wearing my favorite black imitation leather outfit. The pleased gasps of astonishment from the Pillars made me happily swish my tail, but I swished it even harder when Rarity got effusive praise for creating such fantastic apparel. On the way to the spa, the mare Pillars peppered her with questions about modern fashions, the secrets of her trade, and what might look good on themselves. Their stallion counterparts did not participate in the discussion but had their ears pointed that way, betraying their interest.

The spa was an… interesting experience for the Pillars of Old Equestria. Meadowbrook insisted on getting hoof-on lessons on giving a massage. Her test subject Rockhoof proved unsuitable. As it turned out, even the strongest earth pony masseur on staff couldn’t make a dent in his muscles. The old earth pony jogged off to the hot tub to see if that could knock his brawn down from granite to maybe just sandstone. Maybe.

I cheerfully volunteered to take Rockhoof’s place. Meadowbrook chattered away in Old Germane with Aloe while discussing the particulars of alicorn anatomy… I think. The mare proved to be a quick study if my intermittent dozing was anything to go by.

Flash Magnus proved very reluctant to remove his armor and helm. At first, I thought this was a matter of his strict adherence to military discipline. When Rarity threatened to strip him in place, the real reason became apparent. His madly blushing face told volumes, and he refused to look at the mares after he had disrobed and entered the hot tub. The soldier was deathly shy around females! This, of course, made him the target of lots of attention as he ineffectively tried to inch away from the teasing mares. I had the distinct impression of a school of sharks circling a wounded fish as they all danced for position while trying to keep their conversation as mundane as possible.

I was awoken by a hoof tapping my shoulder insistently. “Come, Dowser. Enough lazing the day away. Let us see if you have learned anything from your ministrations. You will massage Trixie’s back while she carefully relaxes in the tub.”

With a groan, I willed my muscles into working again as I slowly made my way to a standing position. After thanking Meadowbrook, I followed after my wife. “Why carefully?”

“Trixie has just completed getting her treatment. The oils and essential essences that Soothing Touch applied will restore my mane to its former glory. However, Trixie needs to keep it dry for the next hour.”

I leaned closer and sniffed deeply. The blue mare recoiled back. “Ack! Do not put your runny nose into Trixie’s mane!”

I grinned. “But your hair smells soooooooo gooooood!”

That earned me a flat glare. “Trixie will have you know that you risk more nights on the couch by threatening to undo all of Trixie’s hard work.”

“Your hard work? Don’t you mean Soothing Touch’s hard work?”

“Trixie thinks she will replace the royal couch with a shorter, harder version.”

I sighed. I wasn’t sure if she was serious, but it was probably best for me not to push my luck.

My wife took slow, deliberate steps down the stairs into the huge communal hot tub, only stopping to allow Flash Magnus to drift past. He was keeping his eyes on Rarity and Rainbow Dash. The grinning mares pursued him with all the nonchalant grace they could muster. The three were very politely discussing campfire cooking, of all things. Directly in the pegasus stallion’s path was a very relaxed Fluttershy with her back turned to him. The butter-yellow pegasus sat next to Somnambula and they both had their eyes closed as they discussed something or another. So what happens when shyness collides with even more shyness? As Twilight would say, a scientific trial must be done!

Just seconds before they would have collided, a happy screech filled the air. I whipped my head around to see a delighted Nyx diving into the water… right in front of my wife. Trixie only had time to frown before she was drenched.

I came up to my wife as she sputtered in outrage. She turned to yell at the filly. “Nyx!”

I decided not to point out that the young alicorn would not hear her underwater. Besides, I had a better idea. “Can I smell your mane now?” Trixie’s eyes glared daggers at me as her anger found a willing target. Still, I laughed even as her horn started to glow. “Get used to it, dear. That will be our colt or filly doing the same thing before you know it.”

My wife’s magic aura winked out. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You… you are correct… dear. Thank you for reminding Tr… me.”

I pulled her into a hug and she slumped into me. I held her in my embrace for a while until she pulled back sharply. “You could have used your shield to protect Trixie!”

I shrugged. “Same goes for you. I think we were all distracted by the upcoming fireworks.”

Fluttershy said, “Umm… what fireworks? It’s not safe to use fireworks inside.”

“Never mind. False alarm.”

I pulled Trixie back to my side and she leaned her head on my shoulder. One thing I liked about being in my pegacorn form in these circumstances was how I could put my long foreleg right around my wife and hold her so snugly. This made her feel both loved and secure and that made me happy. We watched as Nyx suddenly surfaced in front of her mother and squirted a mouthful of water in her face. Our companions chuckled as the cheeky filly dived again before a sputtering Twilight could react.

It was good to see Nyx getting a little revenge for being ignored for days. The worst aspect of it was that Twilight had spent all that time working on a spell that we ended up not needing. The alicorn was going to get a very stern lecture from several of us about her responsibilities as a mother, especially as she now had another on the way. But this wasn’t the time for that. This moment was for relaxing and healing. I had been observing Stygian as he had been pampered along with the rest of us. He wore a slightly dazed smile even as he chatted with my friends and answered questions about his role with the Pillars. Where the stallion had once felt unappreciated, now he seemed a little overwhelmed by all the attention. Good. He was overdue all of this and more. I looked forward to discussing a future role for him in the defense of Equestria, but for now, he deserved a little R&R.

My attention shifted to my side opposite to Trixie as another pony slid into the available space. She turned and gave me a tight smile, the tips of her fangs showing. Penny said, “I hear that you went and played hero and charged into danger on my day off… again.” The last word practically dripped venom.

I shuddered. Maybe I could convince Stygian to reprise his role as the Pony of Shadows. Right now, that seemed the safer alternative to the mayhem my bodyguard’s smile promised.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Foxenawolf

And if you would like to contribute a bit of funding for more art, you can Paypal me! or leave a tip on Ko-fi.

Chapter 65 - Got the Blues

I confess that I take a certain amount of guilty pleasure in the disruptions to my routine, even world-threatening incidents such as the Pony of Shadows. Then I get it out of my system and get back to work, happy to have some quiet routine. Of course, it wasn’t quite back to normal as yet. After we had settled the Stygian affair, several of us took Twilight aside for a long talk about how her princess responsibilities needed to be balanced with those of being a parent. We brought out the big guns – Cadance and Shining Armor. The daggerscale portals were being utilized a lot lately! Anyway, as much as Twilight would have respected her friends’ opinions, her brother and sister-in-law’s experience with a foal spoke much louder. Trixie and I also paid attention to what they had to say because we would be in their situation in several months.

Anyway, among other decisions and compromises, we gave Twilight two days off from royal duties to allow her to spend some quality time with Nyx. My wife and I treated it like one of those times when our co-regent had to dash off on some Friendship Problem quest. Fortunately, that didn’t happen too often as others were normally chosen for the task, but we had gotten used to reorganizing the schedule at a moment’s notice. Today’s itinerary was fairly light as we were hearing citizens’ petitions rather than dealing with the nobles, government ministers, or visiting dignitaries. Starlight and I were going to take the morning’s session of Day Court while Trixie would do the afternoon with Raven. That freed us for several hours to do our respective paperwork, the main reason why I enjoyed the breaks in our routine.

We were still setting up for opening Day Court when a side door to the Throne Room burst open. That led to one of the parts of the castle that wasn’t open to the public, therefore it was a surprise when a strange unicorn barged into the room with a couple of protesting Royal Guards asking him to stop. Puzzled as to why they simply didn’t arrest the stallion on the spot, I examined him closely while he approached, even as Penny moved protectively between us. He was strongly built for a unicorn, white of coat and golden of mane and tail, and possessing a compass rose cutie mark. He wore a smart vest with a bow tie, making for a handsome specimen. A very drunk specimen, judging by the way he staggered across the intervening space.

“Day Court is not yet in session,” I said sternly. “Why is this pony here?” I asked Corporal Trotter.

“My apologies, Your Highness, but he insisted—”

“Who are you and where’s Princess Trixie?” interrupted the stranger with a slight slurring of his speech.

I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow. “You are in the throne room of the Equestrian Triarchy and you don’t know who I am?”

“You’re not Princess Trixie or even Princess Twilight Sparkle, that’s for sure. What are you doing on the throne? I demand you remove yourself forthwith!”

I should have had him dragged away but my curiosity was aroused. “I am Prince Mark Wells – who are you?”

He drew himself up proudly. “I am Prince Blueblood, Duke of Canterlot, and nephew of Princess Celestia.” He then spoiled the regal impression with a loud belch.

Blueblood – that name rang a bell. I looked at Starlight but she only shrugged. “Corporal Trotter – do you know this pony?”

“Yes, sire. He is exactly who he claims to be – a noble of the Court. Her Highness, Princess Trixie, sent him on a tour of the Prench vineyards a couple of years back.”

The light dawned. So that’s why the Guards had not immediately stopped him forcibly. “Oh, yeah. Now I remember.” I also recalled why he was sent on that extended vacation. “Why are you here, Blueblood?”

He seemed offended by the lack of formal title before his name. “I don’t answer to any pegasus commoner trying on the throne while the princesses aren’t around to put him in his place. Begone, upstart!” He advanced on the dais, his horn lighting up.

Normally, I would have wondered how he could not know of me despite being a prince for only a few months, but considering that he had likely been on a bender for well over two years, he probably had forgotten or it had never penetrated his alcohol-soaked brain. I briefly felt his magic grab me before Trotter and another Guard crash-tackled him. A suppressor ring was slipped on his horn and the tug on me disappeared. He was dragged away, protesting his treatment vehemently.

I turned to the Sergeant-at-Arms. “Please have someone notify Princess Trixie of Blueblood’s arrival. I want to be informed when he’s sober enough to answer some questions. He is not to be released until then in spite of his station.”

“Sire, he tried to assault you. Shouldn’t he be put up on charges?”

“Gotta play politics, Sergeant. Besides, when have I ever been conventional?”

“Point taken, Your Highness. It shall be done.” He moved off to delegate responsibility to other Guards.

I looked at Starlight and Penny and said, “Well, ladies, that’s an interesting beginning to the day. Let’s hope the rest of the morning is a little saner.”

“Why do you always attract the weirdoes, sir?” the bat-pony asked.

“Just lucky, I guess. Some of them even work for me.” Before either mare could riposte, I turned and announced loudly, “Alright! Fun’s over. Let’s get Day Court underway!”

“Trixie honestly didn’t expect Blueblood to return so soon.”

I finished chewing on my daisy and tomato sandwich before replying. “Considering how inebriated he was, I can see why you would think that. Something must have prompted him to come back to Equestria.”

“He was always a wine-lover which is why Trixie thought to send him on the tour of Prench vineyards, but he didn’t use to be a lush.”

“I suppose we’ll have to wait until he sobers up before we can get any straight answers.”

My wife thoughtfully considered the glass of wine that was accompanying her lunchtime meal. “Trixie thinks that questioning him while he has a hangover would be an appropriate punishment for assaulting you.”

I grinned. “Works for me. Let’s do that straight after you finish Day Court.”

Trixie, Penny, and I made our way to the top level of the dungeon. Blueblood had been placed in the cell nearest to the entrance so I didn’t get to see how much longer Chrysalis’ endless scarf had gotten. I saw the stallion sprawled indecorously on the pallet, snoring fitfully. He had been dressed in prison orange and I raised a curious eyebrow.

“The outfit is a bit much for a pony sleeping off a drunk, don’t you think?” I asked the Guard.

He replied, “But not for one who attempted to assault a triarch, sire.” Before I could mention that I wasn’t pursuing that charge, he continued. “This is S.O.P. for these situations.”

I reminded myself to not tell the jailor how to do his job although I briefly wondered if they had tried to put a prison uniform on Chrysalis when she first arrived. It might have been amusing to see the result. I told the Guard to wake him and bring him up to the conference room, then we left.

After waiting for a minute or so, a very disheveled Blueblood tottered into the room, the Guard prodding him to keep going. I turned my attention to Blueblood. “Good evening. I trust your accommodations were to your satisfaction?”

The stallion looked at me, held a hoof to his head and groaned.

“I had hoped you were a product of my imagination. Come to join me in my cell now that Princess Trixie has caught you, peasant?”

My wife looked affronted. “Trixie won’t be throwing her husband in jail, Blueblood.”

That caused the stallion to raise an eyebrow. “Really? You should tell your husband to mind his place. He was trying on your throne in your absence.”

“Dark Jells is a Prince of Equestria and rules by my side.”

Blueblood glared at me with his bloodshot eyes. “What arrogance to believe he has the right to rule. Only princesses may claim the throne!”

I knew that was not true. In trying to find a way to get out of the ruling gig before I married Trixie, I had looked up the laws governing accession. They were pretty straightforward and dashed any hope of me avoiding the responsibility. I was a legitimate ruler of Equestria whether I wanted to be or not. Still, I couldn’t help having a dig at him.

“So – according to you, only a princess may rule? Got that covered.” I switched to pegacorn form and gave him a snarky grin.

“CHANGELING!” he yelled and lunged at me, his inert horn lowered to stab me.

Penny and the Royal Guard crash-tackled him before he was halfway to me. I was beginning to think he enjoyed it. For my part, I think I could watch him getting subdued all day long and not get bored.

“Fools! Are you blind or are you changelings too?” Blueblood said as he struggled with his captors.

I switched back to pegasus form as my wife sighed. “Trixie thinks she should have sent a minder with you to keep you up to date with happenings in Equestria. Trixie’s husband is not a changeling. While he can transform into what he calls Marklestia, it’s his only alternate form. Everypony in the nation knows this by now.”

I added, “Besides, Queen Chrysalis was conquered and her hive is now allied with Equestria under the rule of King Thorax.”

Blueblood stopped struggling and gave us a look of disbelief. “Allying with changelings? Has the world gone mad?”

“You’ve missed out on nearly three years of significant changes,” I replied. “It’s about time to bring you up to date, I reckon. What brought you back to Equestria anyway?”

“I am a noble of the Court – I do not need an excuse to be here.”

Trixie said, “That did not stop you from indulging in your wine tour for over two and a half years.”

“No, but my wife deserved to take her place among her peers.”

“Your what?!” Trixie and I chorused.

Blueblood frowned. “Have neither of you been introduced yet?”

“I think you were too busy trying to assault me,” I replied drolly. “Where is your wife right now?”

“I left her in my quarters while I sought out Princess Trixie. I intended to arrange a formal presentation to the Court.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “You turned up drunk, as Trixie has been informed.”

Blueblood’s ears lowered and I think he blushed a little. “We were celebrating my return. Our airship arrived too late last night to seek an audience or even see my fellow nobles, but I did want to give my wife an appropriate welcome to her new home. We had brought some of her father’s finest vintage with us and I felt it was an appropriate moment to sample it.”

“A pity you didn’t stop at sampling,” I said. “You probably haven’t had any sense of moderation in ages.”

Blueblood frowned. “My wife has helped turn that around but I relapse occasionally. I apologize to the Crown for my boorish behavior.” He bowed to Trixie but not to me. I found the snub only slightly irritating. The opinions of fools didn’t bother me. However, the political scene would be changing with Blueblood’s return with a wife, so it was best to get this sorted out immediately.

“Guard – escort this stallion to his quarters. Blueblood, you have an hour to make yourself presentable and bring your wife to the Throne Room where you will formally introduce us. There, you will behave yourself or be returned to your cell for an extended stay. Am I understood?”

He gave me a disdainful glance. “Of course, Prince.” Trust him to make the title sound like an insult.

I looked at Trixie and inclined my head toward the door. She nodded and we headed out.

When we were alone, my wife said, “What are you thinking, Dowser?”

“I’m thinking that he’s potentially as much trouble as when you sent him off to Prance. We need to get on top of him immediately and make sure he knows his place. From what you told me about Blueblood, he was influential even among the other nobles.”

“Trixie thinks his long absence may have diminished that influence, but his pedigree will still serve him well.”

“Yeah, there’s that Prince title of his to consider, but I think that’s due for a change. It’s only a hereditary title, after all. Comes from being the great, great, multi-great nephew on Celestia’s mother’s side, correct?”

“Trixie believes that is the case.”

“Well, Celestia isn’t here nor in charge anymore. It’s time to put an end to that indulgence. What’s his actual rank again?”

“Duke – just one level below Prince.”

“He’ll have to be satisfied with that.”

“Agreed. Trixie wishes she had thought of that.”

“You probably wouldn’t have been able to make it stick. Your hold on power was a bit thin then.”

“True. Trixie has much to thank you for. Still, Trixie thinks it would be wise to have Princess Twilight Sparkle in attendance to present a united front.”

“That’s an excellent suggestion. I’ll send a note to her requesting her to come immediately. Thorax also, if he’s available.”

Trixie smirked and said, “Have her bring Nyx. She’s officially a Princess too and outranks him. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

I chuckled and agreed. “And I think there are a few others we’ll want there to add emphasis to how much things have changed in Equestria.”

Twilight was able to come promptly although Thorax was apparently at his hive at this time. Nevertheless, the alicorn was accompanied by an evolved changeling who was the guardian her husband had assigned to her. Nyx was there and wearing her little tiara that rarely saw use. She was chatting with Penny, showing off some craftwork that she apparently had made along with her mother. The ever-diligent Raven had delayed her evening’s activities to attend the impromptu Night Court session and I had made arrangements with the Captain of the Guard to have certain members present as an honor guard. A squad of griffons lined one wall and bat-ponies the other. After all, it was evening and the thestrals were the normal Royal Guards for Night Court, even for a session that was called on short notice just for one purpose.

The griffons were a new twist though. Relationships between Griffonstone and Equestria had grown considerably lately. Their elected leader Gilda’s efforts to turn around her home country’s fortunes starting with baked goods, of all things, were bearing fruit. The recent opening of a bank branch in their city was an indication of growth in the economy, but they still needed a huge injection of funds and aid to rebound from the economic depression that had once gripped the nation. To facilitate this, Gilda had proposed that Griffonstone become an independent commonwealth of Equestria, just like the Crystal Empire. She had been educated in our country and understood the benefits of it, but that didn’t stop a furor among the citizens. Some strongly supported her while others were as vehemently opposed to the idea. I believe her side won simply because they were progressive and prepared to put effort into the new system whereas the ones who wanted to retain the status quo weren’t nearly as motivated. However, Gilda almost lost her marbles when her supporters wanted to make her Queen of Griffonstone in order to revive the royal line. She told them to stick their beaks where the sun didn’t shine, but they still had the last laugh. She griped that she had nevertheless been made a princess instead because the griffons felt that the Equestrians had to deal with the Griffonstonians on an equal basis.

Negotiations with grumpy Princess Gilda were still proceeding, but one of the agreements made was an exchange of services. A squad of young griffons with more open minds than their elders were sent to be trained as Royal Guards while professional tradesponies were sent to Griffonstone to aid in the rebuilding of the decaying city. Through the other guards, I heard that the dozen new soldiers were ecstatic to have three square meals a day and a career with a bright future. Every one of those griffons except the squad leader was a rookie, although they didn’t look it in their shiny Equestrian armor and fierce gazes. The leader, however, was a veteran Equestrian griffon who had been put in charge of the recruits. I think I recognized him from the challenge at the Tasty Treat.

All this had been done to emphasize to Blueblood that many things had changed since he had last been in Canterlot. That started with myself and Trixie seated at the two thrones and Twilight Sparkle standing to our left. It wasn’t long before we got to see his reaction.

The Sergeant-at-Arms called out, “Announcing Duke Blueblood and wife!”

I had instructed that Blueblood be introduced by his rank, not his hereditary title. I noticed the stallion give the Sergeant-at-Arms a glare which was blithely ignored. The hoofful of nobles who had made it to the unscheduled Night Court session started muttering among themselves. They certainly didn’t miss the drop in status.

Blueblood was now properly groomed and wore a tasteful shirt with a bow tie. He was accompanied by a yellow-coated unicorn mare with a pale green mane with a slim branching streak of bright green. She had a build similar to that of Fleur de Lis but didn’t have the same dainty gait. The stallion was levitating a crate and what looked like a large scroll. Both smiled and nodded to the gallery of nobles as they approached the dais. Blueblood gave Twilight’s personal bodyguard, a crystal changeling mare named Vespa, an uncertain look before they both stopped and bowed.

Trixie, as senior Princess, took the lead. “We welcome you back to Canterlot, Duke Blueblood. Please introduce your companion to the Court and assembled dignitaries.”

“Your Highnesses, may I present my beloved wife, Duchess Vigne Dorée.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Your Highnesses,” she said with a soft Prench accent. “Please feel free to call me Golden Grapevine, if you prefer.” She gave Nyx a kind smile as the filly sat quietly next to her mother.

“You are most welcome too, Duchess. We were quite surprised to hear of your marriage though.”

The mare had a beautiful laugh – unforced and genuine. “Believe me, Your Highness, I quite understand.”

Trixie said, “Blueblood gave everypony the impression that he intended to remain a bachelor. His disdain of the institution of marriage was legendary.”

Blueblood spoke up. “To be fair, Your Highness, much of my reputation was a fabrication.”

“Trixie was a witness to some of these ‘fabrications’, my dear Duke.”

“Were you also witness to all the social climbers and money-grubbers who sought to use me for their own benefit? I had grown tired of all the shallow and ambitious mares who constantly approached me with no true feelings behind their actions. While I respect the necessity of political alliances, I was not interested in that, nor their favors in exchange for influence. Therefore I began the practice of acting as the most boorish of nobles – selfish and self-absorbed to the extreme. It served me well.”

I said, “I can see how that would work, but you also hurt some mares whose only fault was a little naivety. You were a handsome bachelor and a logical target for any single mare regardless of your position. My friend, Lady Rarity Belle was one such pony. I believe that you owe her an apology.”

Blueblood looked reluctant to cooperate but his wife gave him a nudge and said, “The Prince says the truth, mon cher.”

He regarded her for a moment and then nodded. “I will offer my apology at the soonest opportunity.”

“Thank you, Blueblood. Now, can you explain how Duchess Vigne Dorée accomplished what no other mare could?”

The mare laughed. “I did nothing. He came wooing me.”

Blueblood blushed. “It is a little embarrassing to admit, but I finally realized what mares saw in the opposite gender when I met Viney. She was attractive and smart – a credit to her parents and to their winery. I believe it was her very disinterest in me that spurred me on to court her. I even cut down on my drinking to better my chances.”

“Vraiment, he was a changed pony when sober, and quite charming when he tried. Also very talented and knowledgeable.”

“What is your talent anyway, Blueblood?” I asked.

“I am a cartographer, Your Highness.” The last words almost stuck in his throat, but he was at least giving lip service to my position now. He continued, “I have been doing more than visiting winery after winery. During my tour, I created maps of the countryside surrounding each estate. I have brought along a copy of the Doreé Estate map to show you, as well as a crate of their finest vintage… minus two bottles.”

Well, now I knew what he had gotten drunk on. I looked forward to sampling the wine myself.

Blueblood floated the rolled-up map to Trixie and Twilight and I moved over to look at it too. My wife used her magic to open it up and we all examined the result of the stallion's efforts.

Twilight looked up and said, “This is excellent work. Blueblood. And you say you have more of these?”

“I have copies of all the maps that I made if you wish to have them.”

“Please,” Twilight replied. “I want to add them to the cartography section of the Canterlot Library.”

I said, “Equestria has changed a lot since you left on your vacation. New territories have opened up and alliances made.” I inclined my head toward the griffon Guards. “We could use your talent to map these areas and update others.”

“And take me away from Court at the same time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

He might have been biased, but he wasn’t an idiot. He had immediately seen through my motives.

Blueblood smirked. “I am tempted to reject your offer, but I believe my wife would probably scold me if I did. Nevertheless, it would be good to be exercising my talent for a change instead of my wine-drinking. Besides, it will take me a while to catch up with all the court intrigues and reestablish my position in the hierarchy.”

Well, at least that last bit sounded a lot more like what I expected from him. Still, I counted on his wife being a moderating influence. I looked forward to having a long conversation with her and hearing things from her perspective.

Trixie said, “I trust you will also stop trying to assault my husband and acknowledge his rank as Prince of Equestria?”

Vigne Dorée frowned at her husband. “You did what?”

Blueblood gave her a nervous smile. “Just a little misunderstanding, darling.”

Oh yeah, I already liked her.

“The Great and Powerful Princess Trixie invites Golden Grapevine to join Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Mark Wells at our next all-mares spa session so that we may get to know the latest addition to the Canterlot elite in an informal environment.”

“I would be honored, Your Highness.” Then she blinked and looked at me. “Umm… Princess?”

I switched to Marklestia and smiled benignly. “As my wife said, all mares.”

She stared for a moment before turning to her husband. “You never mentioned this, Bluey.”

“I only learned an hour ago, Viney.” He gave me a keen look. “Or are you really my Auntie Celestia and you decided to be a stallion for your wife? You can tell me. I mean, it’s not as if you need my approval and it’s not any of my business really. I don’t mind if that’s what you want—”

I interrupted him there. “I’m not Celestia. My ability to shape-shift into this form is a long story involving poison joke, powerful magic, and Harmony. I’ll tell you the details at another time. The only changelings in this room are Twilight’s guardian from the Crystal Hive and two of the Royal Guards from the Red Hive. Which two, you can have the fun of trying to figure out.”

“You’re trusting changelings as Royal Guards?” Blueblood asked with wide eyes and not a little trepidation.

Twilight said, “As we have done implicitly for centuries.” She gave the stallion a friendly smile. “Much has changed since you’ve been gone. We not only work with changelings, I married one.”

Blueblood stared at Twilight in disbelief and I wondered if he was going to take it into his head that she was corrupted as well. Then he abruptly deflated.

“I see that I have missed too much. My congratulations, Princess Trixie – you played me well. I will resume my duties the day after tomorrow. My wife and I require a day to settle in.”

“Trixie finds that acceptable. You may take your leave. This session of Night Court is now closed.”

Blueblood and Vigne Dorée bowed and departed.

When they were out of earshot, I said to Trixie, “I don’t know about you and Twilight, but I think I’d like to try some of that wine.”

Twilight said, “No, thanks – I really should head back home. It’s nearly Nyx’s bedtime.” She looked over to where the filly was doing an inspection of the Royal Guards, her nose held high as she pretended to be formal. It amused me to see each Guard straighten up and stiffen to attention as she approached. They were quite fond of the young alicorn and often indulged her, even though she sometimes caused a bit of chaos in the castle. Maybe even because of it. It got boring just standing watch all the time.

My wife said, “Trixie promises to save some bottles for you.”

“You’d better!” Twilight replied with a grin.

Raven spoke up for the first time. “I don’t think you will need to worry about reserving as many bottles of wine as you want.”

“Why is that?” Trixie asked.

“I learned from the castle servants who were storing goods unloaded from Blueblood’s airship that he brought more cases of wine with him.”

“How many more?”

“I’m told he took a case of the best wines from every vineyard that he visited.”

I blinked in shock. “But… hasn’t he been visiting two wineries per day for over two and a half years?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“That would mean there are hundreds of cases!”

“Closer to two thousand, I would say,” Twilight said drolly.

Raven shook her head. “I didn’t make myself clear. He bought a case of each of the finest vintages from each of the wineries he visited. Because he stored the cases in a container with a transcendental dimension spell applied, nopony is exactly sure how many cases he brought back with him yet. It’s on the order of several thousand.”

Trixie grumbled. “That would explain the exorbitant bills Trixie has been receiving.”

Raven added, “He left instructions to send the majority of them to the castle cellars. Apparently, they’re a gift to the Crown.”

Twilight giggled. “I’ll settle for half a dozen bottles.”

My wife looked equally amused. “Trixie thinks we won’t lack for gifts for visiting dignitaries for a long time.”

I reckoned that we were going to have a lot of very drunk ambassadors.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Gilda’s new status inspired by the story – “The 8th Rank” by Winter Quill.

Art by Foxenawolf.

A thank-you goes out to the person who recently donated toward my art costs. I don't know if they want their name plastered up here, but I do want them to know that I am grateful.

If you would like to donate also, you can either Paypal me or leave a tip on Ko-fi!

Chapter 66 - Filly Point of View

I trotted back to our suite after a particularly good session of morning Day Court. On a dare from Penumbra, I stayed in my Marklestia form until my shift ended. The petitioners were unfailingly polite, even when I delivered a decision that didn’t go their way. OK, maybe playing off of the love and respect every pony had for alicorns was a bit manipulative, but I couldn’t knock the results. Of course, that meant I felt honor-bound to do something nice for my bodyguard. Good thing that wasn’t a hard one to figure out. Now I’d just had to find a greengrocer who could import mangoes when they were out of season.

When I reached the entrance of the chambers I shared with my wife, Ebon Flask and Spectral Blade saluted and opened the doors. I nodded to them both and walked inside. As usual, Penumbra stationed herself across the hall from the entrance. I didn’t find Trixie in bed where I had left her this morning, so I went to our bathroom. There I found her standing unsteadily. She was leaning against the wall and a long groan escaped her lips.

I started rubbing gently along her back. I don’t know if all equine pregnancies were like hers, but she was having a particularly hard time. Apparently, morning sickness considered 1 AM to be ‘morning’ and Trixie had woken up feeling awful at that time all week. She had only let me stay up for an hour with her each time, insisting that one of us be well-rested for the sake of Our Little Ponies. Besides, “Trixie has napped during the day and Trixie will be fine for our royal duties tomorrow.” That held true up until today.

After a minute of deep breaths, she opened her eyes and glared at me. “Trix…(gulp)… Trixie is sore displeased with what you have done to her. Trixie no longer has any questions about how you earned your true name, Dark Hells.”

It wouldn’t do me any good to point out that it was her decision to get pregnant, so I just smiled. This was an old argument anyway. It was just Trixie’s way of telling me she was feeling terrible.

I said, “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink yet, have you?”

She shook her head. “Just the thought of…” Her eyes went wide and she leaped to the toilet, making dry heaves. I helped hold her head and rubbed her withers. Not the most glamorous job, but being an expectant father meant you did whatever was needed. Which led me to my next decision.

After Trixie got her breath back, I said. “Dear, you are not going to preside over afternoon court.”

My wife sat up and pushed her mane back into some semblance of order. I retrieved a glass of water and a lathered toothbrush from the cabinet above her sink. After finishing with them, she said, “Non… Nonsense. Trixie lives for her little ponies. Trixie is merely pregnant, not an invalid.”

I returned the items to the marble counter-top. “Never said you were. But we need to make accommodations for both you and Twilight being pregnant. I will not be picking up all of the sessions for both of you, and that means your little ponies will need to be flexible when either or both of you are indisposed. That will officially start today. Instead, I propose we leave early to go see our friends in Ponyville. Full spa treatment. My treat.”

Trixie was nothing if not proud. “You cannot order us so. Need Trixie remind you that she is the senior triarch? Trixie can overcome this with her willpower alone.”

“And stress both your body and that of our foal? No, I’m afraid I’m pulling rank on you. Listen to your coach when he says you are not fit to go into the game this afternoon.”

The blue mare put on a tight frown and lifted her head high while still leaning into my hoof that was rubbing gently along her spine. Yep. She felt awful. Time to play dirty.

“If you don’t follow my… suggestion… I’ll feed you all of the foods you love.”

She furrowed her brow. “But I will just throw them…” Her eyes widened in realization. “You would make Trixie associate them with being sick! They would turn from my favorites into foods Trixie could never…”

She gave me a scowl that by all rights should have made me cringe. Instead, I started rubbing a second hoof on her back to help her relax and feel better.

She sighed. “Very well. But only because it is for the health of our foal.”

“Of course.” I tried not to grin. I really did. Before she could comment on my impertinence, I changed the subject. “I’ll have the portals set up to get us there.”

My wife shook her head. “No. Trixie wants to take the train. It has been too long since we used the Royal Carriage Car and Trixie needs the fresh air… but not as much as we get in the flying carriage.”

I nodded. “Alright. I’ll make the announcement to the remaining petitioners and get everything arranged. Are you going to be good for a walk to the station?”

“Trixie has grown accustomed to enduring this torture you have inflicted upon her. Trixie knows her recovery will be quick.” She demonstrated this by stepping away from me and walking on shaking hooves back into our bedroom. “Simply give us a half-hour to make ourselves presentable.”

That meant a half-hour in bed before starting with any beauty preparations. I’d also have the vis-à-vis carriage waiting just in case she didn’t want to walk. I stood by her side in case she needed help climbing into bed. “As my princess commands.”

“Thank you, Dowser.” She gave me a quick kiss, then followed it with a much longer one. “You take good care of us.” It took me a moment to realize she was not talking in the royal “we.”

I said, “As every husband and future father should.”

“But you are Trixie’s, you see. And I appreciate you more every day.”

She slipped under the covers and her breathing slowed. Silently leaving the room, I decided to take my time making the necessary arrangements.

There were a few advantages of the vis-à-vis carriage. Trixie and I could face each other, which meant she could stretch out on her bench seat. Because there was no canopy, it allowed her to get plenty of fresh air and wave to the ponies as we passed by. Lastly, the suspension was enchanted to provide the smoothest ride possible. My wife was feeling so good by the time we arrived at the train station that her hunger returned with a vengeance. I tried to object to her choice of artisanal hay with pickles and fudge syrup but was informed that the baby knew what it needed and I would have to discuss the matter with her, not Trixie.

Ten minutes into the train ride, either the food choice or the lurching compartment of our train car took their toll on my wife. She didn’t lose her long-overdue breakfast, but suffice it to say Trixie did not enjoy the train ride. Once again, I was called into my duty to provide gentle hugs and back massages.

Putting on a cheery face for the brief carriage ride to Friendship Castle sapped the last bit of strength out of Trixie. When we entered the Great Hall, I was practically carrying my wife.

Fluttershy zoomed to Trixie’s side and literally took the blue mare under her wing. “I’ve got you, dear. Let’s get you in a nice, warm bath. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Spike yelled, “On it!” and ran out the back entrance. “I’ll get the water to exactly the temperature that Her Highness enjoys!”

The yellow pegasus pulled Trixie away from me so she could support my wife’s weight. Fluttershy said, “Mark, why don’t you help put up decorations?”

On cue, there was a pink blur and I found a coil of flower garland was in my hooves. I said to Trixie, “Are you—”

She interrupted me with a wave of her hoof. “The Great and Pregnant Trixie will be fine, Oligarch Dwells. Spend some time with your friends.” Trixie put an end to the conversation by starting forward. I caught up long enough to give her a kiss on the cheek before flying up to the top of the columns in the room. Belatedly, I flew back down to take off my jacket and shirt. No use getting them dirty or sweaty if I wanted to look my best for the party!

The welcome distraction had me hard at work with Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack; all of us preparing the room for Nyx’s birthday party. The filly and her parents had been at the Crystal Hive since Sunday and were due to return early this evening. All too soon, we were done.

Pinkie treated us to fruit punch then left to finish what she called “the ginormous every flavor cake.” I shuddered. With my luck, I’d get the “rancid guacamole” slice. Even so, maybe it would not be all bad. Perhaps I could get the party mare to point out the “cheesy quesadilla” quadrant so I could politely give that piece to Twilight and enjoy her reaction.

I think the unnatural quiet broke me out of my daydream. Why weren’t my friends talking to each other? Looking around showed that all three were staring at their cups with glum looks on their faces.

I cleared my throat. “OK, what’s up? This is supposed to be a happy occasion.”

Applejack adjusted her Stetson. “Uh, yeah. Well, that would be on account of the CMC breakin’ up.”

I perked my ears forward. “You’re kidding. What happened?”

Rarity said, “I’m afraid we don’t know, darling. They all met up last Saturday and… something happened.”

Rainbow Dash said, “Yeah, it’s like they hate each other’s guts now! None of them will talk to us about it.”

I looked between them. “But they’ll all come to Nyx’s party though?” I got three frowns in return. “Right?”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Applejack said, “Ah don’t ever recall them bein’ this put out at each other for this long a spell.”

I frowned and put my cup down. “Well, that’s unacceptable. Let me see if I can get to the bottom of this.”

The three mares looked up. They shared the same hopeful expression.

Rarity said, “Would you darling? Perhaps they would talk to someone that isn’t family.”

“And they respect ya a bunch. Maybe they’ll even listen to ya,” said Applejack.

Rainbow Dash opened her wings and disappeared in a streak of rainbow-colored light. When I looked at the two remaining Element Bearers, they were counting out loud. “… six… seven… eight… nine… ten.”

Right on cue, the pegasus mare returned and back-winged to a stop. “Lemme tell you where they’re at…”

#

I clomped up the ramp leading to the Cutie Mark Crusaders Headquarters. Gently, I gave the door three raps. From inside, a muffled voice called out “Go away!”

“But I need your help!” After changing to my pegacorn form, I said, “I can’t figure out if I’m a Prince or Princess!”

The door opened and Sweetie Belle practically flew into my chest with a huge hug. I wrapped my wings around her and hugged back. After several seconds, the filly pulled back and attempted to hide that she was wiping away tears. She sniffed and tried to act all casual. “Oh hey, Mark. It’s great to see you.”

I smiled. “It’s great to see you too, Sweetie Belle. Would you mind if I come in?”

She looked up into my eyes. After a few seconds, she smirked. “Not unless you can teleport inside. Apple Bloom… we made the door a bit too small for ancient alicorns… or their knockoffs.”

I hammed it up with a hoof over my heart and an exaggerated gasp. That got me a chuckle and a wider smile. I switched back to my pegasus form. “How about now?”

The unicorn filly turned around and disappeared through the door. “Duck.”

I had to do more than just lower my head, but eventually, I squeezed my way inside. We sat cross-legged on the floor while I studied the walls. This was my first time inside the Temple of Cutie Mark Expertise. Dozens of pieces of paper were tacked to the walls, each containing ten or more crossed-out symbols of different professions, hobbies, interests, and… things. If it was a noun or verb, there was a good chance it was represented here. I had an inkling of how much dedication that the three fillies’ had put into finding their cutie marks and special talents, but being here reinforced how much time, effort, and property damage had been poured into their quest.

A sigh brought my attention back to Sweetie Belle. She was looking down at the wooden plank floor. “You wanna talk to me about what happened on Saturday with those two jerks, huh?”

I nodded. The young mare fidgeted a bit. I said, “Would you tell me, please? I promise not to judge.”

She hesitated then shook her head.

“Would it help if I Pinkie-Promised not to talk about it without your permission?”

Sweetie paused a little longer. “I… no. Not now. Maybe later.”

Time to approach the problem differently. “Sweetie Belle, you know I have the best interests of all three of you at heart. Let me help you fillies work through this.”

The unicorn filly flattened her ears against her head and slumped a bit. After waiting as long as I dared, I decided to try something else. “What about if we trade favors? You tell me what happened, and I do you a favor as Prince or Princess of Equestria.”

That got her to come out of her shell. Her ears perked forward and her eyes glistened. “Really? Anything I want?”

I shrugged. “As long as it doesn’t interfere with my personal commitments and my oath to serve my little ponies.”

“Oh, ah… well… there is one thing?” She looked up with questioning eyes.

I smiled and nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“Would you let me see Celestia’s secret room in Canterlot Castle?”

I froze a bit. “That’s supposed to be a state secret. How did you find out, and have you told anypony else?”

She shook her head. “I haven’t told anypony. I just figured it out. My sister talks in her sleep sometimes. A couple of months ago, she yelled out ‘the most magnificent secret! And you kept it hidden for so long!’”

The filly pulled out a thick stack of papers from a desk drawer. “All I had to do was stay up a couple of hours later each night and take notes. Six weeks ago, she said ‘secret entrance in Trixie’s chambers’. Two weeks ago, she said ‘carved out centuries ago by the Royal Sisters.’ Then on Thursday night, she said ‘Celestia’s private collection’.” She looked up. “So was I right?”

I had to curl up as tightly as I could, but there was just enough room below the ceiling for me to take on my Marklestia form. “Two things. Let’s take care of the important one first.” I levitated the stack of paper out of her hooves and floated it between us. I grabbed either side of the stack with my magic and started tearing.

At her shocked look, I said, “What you did was a very serious breach of your sister’s privacy. Pony’s show their most personal and intimate sides in their dreams. Things they never share with anypony. You were eavesdropping when Rarity was the most vulnerable.”

Sweetie Belle’s ears and nose sagged. “Oh. I didn’t…” After a bit, I got the puppy-dog-eyes treatment turned up to eleven. “You aren’t going to tell her, are you?”

Good thing my pegacorn form had a bit of immunity built-in. I frowned. “I won’t have to. You are going to apologize to her yourself.” The filly wiped tears away from her eyes for a minute or so, then she nodded.

“And yes, I can take you to Celestia’s secret chamber but only if you Pinkie Promise not to talk about it with anypony but the very few who are in on the secret. The same goes for the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

She gasped. “Really? My friends too?”

That was a good sign. She was referring to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo as her friends again. I nodded. “Trying to keep something like this a secret between such close friends would be torture. I couldn’t do that to you.”

Sweetie started dancing on her tippy-hooves with a huge, beaming smile on her face. “We get to go! We get to go!” She jumped forward and threw her forelegs around my neck. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I had to try a couple of times to get a wing free without knocking something over, but I was able to hug her back.

After a while, she shifted so she was nestled along my side with her front hooves holding my wing like an oversized blanket. The filly wiped her tears away again, but this time she was smiling.

“Well, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and I planned to meet up at the pier on Percheron Lake at noon on Saturday…”

~ ~ ~

I galloped up the wooden planks on the pier. I wrapped Apple Bloom up in a hug, both of us giggling like mad. Before we could really say anything, Scoots zoomed up on her kick scooter. She flipped the kickstand down, put her helmet on the handlebars, and swaggered her way over to us with her cheeky grin.

We all shared a hoof bump then Scootaloo’s smile slipped. “Where’s Nyx?”

Apple Bloom said, “Her mom was feeling right bad ‘bout ignorin’ her, so they’re spendin’ the day together.”

Scoots smiled a bit wickedly. “Too bad. She’s gonna miss out on all the fun.” My friend grabbed three buckets from the back of her scooter and returned. After setting them about ten feet apart in a triangle, she waved us over, indicating who should be by which bucket.

I trotted up to mine and looked at the red, yellow, green, and blue bags inside. “Water balloons? I suppose we could get into a water balloon fight…” I looked up at her with narrowed eyes and put some magic in my horn. I saw my light green aura on the edges of my vision. “…or I could just push you into the lake.”

Scootaloo ignored me and talked to Apple Bloom. “We could pelt each other, but I’d rather share them in town with ponies who look thirsty.”

Apple Bloom frowned. “I dunno, Scoots. Don’t ya think we’re gettin’ a mite bit old fer doin’ that?”

Scootaloo trotted up to her aggressively. “No. It’s called having fun. You haven’t forgotten ‘fun’ have you?”

The farm filly raised her forehoofs as if to ward off an attack. “Ah’m just sayin’ that adults aren’t as forgivin’ as they used ta be fer our antics. No reason why we cain’t hunt out Diamond Tiara, though.”

I came up beside Apple Bloom and said, “What’s up with her anyway? First she saves the school playground and we’re all buddy-buddy. Then she’s back to calling us names and laughing it off as a joke.”

“Don’t rightly know. All Ah know is that this week she was callin’ me ‘Pineapple Gloom, the entombed zombie nopony should assume to exhume’.”

Scootaloo snorted and tried to hide her smirk.

I said, “You have to admit that’s kinda funny.”

“No Ah do not!”

Scoots rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. So what did you two bring?”

I opened my mouth to speak but Apple Bloom cut me off. “Granny’s apple fritters... and some wine for our whiner.” She pointed both forehooves at Scootaloo. Apple Bloom also gave me a knowing glance while nodding her head into Scootaloo hard enough to almost knock her over. Yeah, pretty sure she was talking about Scoots. Typical earth pony subtlety.

“Huh. OK. What do you think, Scoots?”

My pegasus friend looked up. “Mmmm… I think we should get started doing whatever we’re gonna do.” She smirked. “I’m just getting older over here. And old people are boring.”

Apple Bloom said, “Ya mean like how Rainbow Dash is boring?”

“Yes.” Scoots’ eyes went wide. “I mean no!”

I said, “She’s got to be… what… over twenty. That sounds pretty old to me.”

My friend stammered. “It’s not… I mean… Rainbow is the exception! She’ll always be cool! Even when she’s a hundred years old she’ll be cooler than you!”

I rolled my eyes and smacked my lips. “Yeah, OK. Whatever you say.”

That earned me a frown. Scootaloo said, “OK, so what’d you bring?”

I tried to act all relaxed and cool. “Oh, nothing important.” I lifted the cover of my left saddlebag to show off a very old book. It was half-a-hoof thick and I could see some pink color on the spine. “Just the diary of Endless Laughter—a filly about our age from the Crystal Empire. She lived there before the time of Sombra.”

Apple Bloom pulled her lips to the side for a second. “OK, Ah’ll bite. What’s so darn cool about her?”

I let the saddlebag cover drop back down so I could wave that hoof. “Well first, she was the daughter of a minor noble family and had to put up with rich and snooty classmates, just like us.”

“And?” challenged Scootaloo after giving me a fake yawn.

“Sooooo, she outwitted her rivals at every turn… and me too.”

“Whatcha mean?” asked Scootaloo.

“The Hearts and Hoofs Day School Dance is coming up, right? On Monday I’m gonna ask Button Mash to be my date.”

“Ick!” shouted Scootaloo. “The colt who mashed a grasshopper in your mane?”

I yelled right back. “That was years ago! He said he just wanted to show it to me and tripped!”

Scoots snarked, “Oh, I’m sure he said that. He’s not good enough for ya. No good at hoofball, paddleball, hopscotch…”

“Yeah, but he crushes you at chess and checkers. And does he whine and moan when you beat him at ball games like Snips or Snails do? Or does he keep trying?”

Scootaloo frowned and fluttered her wings. “I… I guess he’s not all bad.”

Apple Bloom scoffed. “That don’t matter none. Diamond Tiara’s gonna get wind of it and ask him first—not ’cause she likes him. She jus’ don’t want ya ta get anythin’ or any colt ya want.”

I closed my eyes and waved a hoof. “Endless Laughter and I took care of that.” Both of my friends perked their ears forward. I smirked. “I let Silver Spoon overhear me confiding to Peachy Pie that I was going to ask Caramel.”

My friends chorused, “Oooooooooo.”

“Sneaky,” said Apple Bloom. “OK, Ah wanna hear the other tricks that filly got up ta. How about it, Scoots?”

“Mmmm. I guess. But we always go together, just the three of us. Why do you wanna mess that up? We always have more fun than you can with any dumb colt.”

I shrugged, “I dunno, I just wanna do something different.”

Apple Bloom turned to face Scootaloo. “She’s gotta point. We three are always the ones tryin’ somethin’ different.”

Scoots crossed her forelegs. “That was before we got our cutie marks.”

“So? Why stop havin’ fun tryin’ new stuff now?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not saying that. I’m just saying we always put our friendship first, right? Always!” She gave us an excited smile and put a hoof over her heart. “I’m ready to Pinkie Promise that I’ll always put you guys first. How about it? You two game?”

Apple Bloom scrunched her muzzle. “Mmmmmm…”

I frowned but didn’t say anything.

“What?” asked Scootaloo.

The farm filly sighed. “Ah figure Ah’ll be getting married someday. And Ah’ll have foals a mah own.”

I agreed with Apple Bloom. “So no. I won’t make that promise either. Who knows what will happen to us in ten years? Would you give up being in the Wonderbolts to stay in Ponyville just because of that promise?”

Scootaloo frowned and looked away. “I can’t believe you guys.”

I jogged up to my friend and out of the corner of my eye saw Apple Bloom do the same. “Hey! Don’t be all grumpy! I’ll Pinkie Promise that we’ll always be friends. OK?”

My pegasus friend snorted. “I already know that. That’s never gonna change no matter what.”

We all shared a grin and we each brought up our right forelegs together to share a hoof bump. Recognizing when to do so was so automatic that we never had to worry about our timing.

Trust Scoots to break up the cool moment because she was so impatient. “So what’s first?”

Apple Bloom said, “Well, Ah don’t rightly know about ya two, but Ah’m all sweaty from my mornin’ chores.”

I said, “My big sis tells me a true lady doesn’t sweat, she perspires.” If I do say so, my imitation of Rarity’s voice and hair flip was pretty good by now.

Apple Bloom said, “Well, this lady don’t perspire, she sweats! And Ah know Scoots agrees with me ‘cause she always smells worse than any colt Ah know when she gets herself back from playin’ in the playground.”

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “Maybe I’ll keep all three of the buckets and throw all of them at your head, farm pony.”

I laughed. “Well, she’s right.” That got Scootaloo’s death glare to change targets. “Come on, Scoots. It’s a hot day and I’ve got a volleyball. We can splash and dive around in the shallows, trying to keep the ball up as long as we can. Aren’t you hot?”

She shook her head. “Nope. I spent the morning inside doing homework.”

Apple Bloom and I rushed up until our noses were only an inch away from Scootaloo’s. My earth pony friend said, “I thought ya said ya done chores this mornin’. Who are ya and whatcha done with our friend?”

I tried to sound just as serious but couldn’t help the smile from taking over my face. “Yeah! Fess up! You’re Thorax, aren’t you?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes again. “No, I’m not. My aunt forced me to get that done too before I could meet up with you guys.”

Apple Bloom gave her a mock glare. “So ya say. What would the real Scoots say if she got hit in the head with a water balloon?”

She turned quickly to snarl at her friend. “I’d say you’d better think twice before… wait…”

My horn lit up the moment Scootaloo’s attention was on Apple Bloom. I used my magic to lift a blue balloon from the bucket directly behind Scoots and sent the projectile into the back of her head. Globs of the shattered restraining field and water splashed everywhere. Unfortunately, quite a bit got on me and Apple Bloom.

All three of us retreated to our buckets and the fight started. We laughed and squealed like little foals for the next few minutes until all the water balloons were used up. Thanks to my magic protecting me, I barely got wet at all. Most of my tosses were right on target, too.

I panted until I got my voice back. “All done? Everypony out of balloons? You were right, Scoots. That was fun.”

Scootaloo sat down and put on the fakest shocked look ever. “It was? Really, that was fun?” Her face took on a sinister smile as she lifted the flaps on her saddlebags with both forehooves. “Good thing I brought more… just for me.”

Apple Bloom jumped between us and pointed her hoof. “Now that there’s just not fair, Scoots! Either ya share those with both of us…” She slammed one forehoof into the other with a loud crack. “… or we all see how far ya can fly upside down.”

I walked up behind Apple Bloom, staying out of her sight. From there, I stuck my tongue out at my pegasus friend.

Scootaloo hesitated then brought her forehooves back forward—empty. “OK, fine. I’ll refill the buckets, but I’m not going so easy on you two next time.”

While she did so, Apple Bloom turned to me. “Cooled off a mite now, Sweets?”

“Yep. Maybe it’s time for one of those apple snacks?”

“Well, ya never have ta ask me twice on that one.” She opened a saddlebag and pulled out a fritter. The fritter shot away when a water balloon hit it out of her hoof. “Hey!”

Apple Bloom glared at Scootaloo, just looking up from refilling her bucket. “What?”

“Why’d ya do that?”

Scootaloo stood up straighter. “Do what?”

“Ya done ruined one a Granny’s fritters with a water balloon, that’s what!”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, ya did!”

Scootaloo lowered her head and growled, “You calling me a liar? I don’t even like apple fritters.”

I jumped between the two. “Whoa, whoa! Everypony take a breath now. Calm down.”

Apple Bloom said, “Ya saw her throw it, right?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Sorry. Wasn’t looking her way. I would like a fritter, though. Please.”

Apple Bloom gave another dark glare at a sputtering Scootaloo before reaching into her saddlebag and pulling out one of the treats for me.

After I had it, I said, “Thanks, Bloom Baby.”

Her glare turned to me. “Dontcha go calling me that.”

“OK, Apple Zits.”

“Scoots, gimme one of them there buckets of balloons.”

I laughed and held up my forehooves. “Sorry! Sorry! I said I’m sorry!”

Apple Bloom eyed me suspiciously before snorting.

I smiled and pulled the ancient diary out of my saddlebags with my unoccupied hoof and started leafing through it. “Anyway, there’s an entry in here that I bookmarked. I know you both are gonna—” Anything else I was going to say was cut off by a water balloon that hit me in the face and blew up. If that wasn’t bad enough, I heard giggling from in front of me.

I yelled at Apple Bloom. “Hey! That hurt!”

She tried to play dumb. “What hurt?”

“And you got the book wet! It’s over a thousand years old!”

Scootaloo laughed. “What’s the big deal? Twilight puts a billion spells on the books to keep ‘em safe. Stop being so sensitive.”

I ground my teeth. Apple Bloom said, “Ah didn’t throw nuthin’ at ya, and Ah mean it.”

“So I’m just imagining that I heard you chuckling after?”

Before she could answer, Scoots cut in. “She’s got you there, Apple Doom. I heard you, too.”

Apple Bloom slammed her hooves into the ground. “If ya two would stop and listen for a minute, Ah’m sayin’ Ah was gettin’ me this here fritter!”

Scootaloo said, “While your other hoof was…” She looked at her friend expectantly. Apple Bloom’s ears were flattened down to her skull and she was scowling.

I sighed and looked down at the diary. I hoped Scoots was right about the protection spells. If not, first my sister then Twilight would yell my ears off for ruining the book I checked out of the library.

I saw a blue flash and then heard Scootaloo gasp. “Dang it, Sweets! I’m on your side! What was that for?”

I looked up to see Scootaloo’s face dripping wet. I looked down at the bucket by my side. “But… I didn’t…”

My friend turned around and walked towards her scooter. “I’ve had enough of both of you losers. Good-bye!” With a buzz of her wings, she was gone. I knew she was upset because she didn’t even put her helmet on.

I heard Apple Bloom cantering away. “Yeah, Ah think Ah’m done with you two also. And stop callin’ me a liar. Come back when yer willin’ to ‘pologize.”

I didn’t say anything to my retreating friend. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what happened.

I found Apple Bloom where Dash said she would be. She was sitting on the pier where everything had gone to Tartarus a week ago. It wasn’t hard to figure out from her body language that she was missing her friends terribly.

I turned back into my pegasus form and called out, “You don’t know how it all went so wrong, do you?”

The young earth pony gave me a glare before turning back to stare down into the water. “Sure don’t. Did mah sister send ya? Ah don’t wanna talk about it.”

I sat down next to her and likewise looked out into the water. “Actually, I think all of the Element Bearers want me to help. Well, I haven’t exactly talked to Twilight this week but it’s a pretty safe bet that she would.” I decided to not waste time. “I’ll tell you what. If you do me a big favor by telling me what happened, I’ll do you a big favor in return.”

The filly looked straight at me. “What kinda favor?”

I shrugged. “What kind of favor would you like?”

Apple Bloom’s eyes narrowed and she tapped her chin with a hoof. Her ears were pointed forward, showing her mood was much better already.

After a minute, she said, “OK, but ya gotta do my favor first.” I waved a hoof for her to continue. “The girls and Thorax and Ah kinda… lost Applejack’s canoe ‘bout a year ago.”

“Where, exactly?”

“Well, it’s stuck on the bottom, right over there.” She pointed with a hoof toward the center of the lake. The filly hesitated and moved her hoof to the left. “Maybe over thataway.” Then to the right. “Or was it thataway?”

I blinked. “The canoe is made out of wood, right? Isn’t wood supposed to float? I’m afraid to ask, but why did it sink?”

“Ah, yeah. That would be ’cause of the bloop.”

“The what?”

Apple Bloom waved her forehooves. “Ya know, the bloop! That’s the sound a rock makes when it hits the water. Scoots had the idea that if we got a big enough rock and hauled it out ta the center, she would toss it overboard and… BLOOP!”

I processed that for a while. “You fillies seriously tried to get your cutie marks in ‘blooping’?”

She smiled. “Hey, it made plenty a’ sense at the time. We’d already tried near everythin’ else!”

I couldn’t really fault their logic, such as it was. No wonder the CMC had won Discord’s ‘Favorite Chaos Makers – Group Act’ award twelve months in a row. I had seen the statuette in their clubhouse. “So what happened?”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Weren’t ya listening? Ah already told ya that ya’d have ta do me the favor first.”

“I meant ‘what happened to the canoe?’ ”

“Oh. Well, the rock took all four of us ta load inta the canoe. It was ridin’ mighty low in the water but we got it out ta the middle. Just when Scoots tried ta lift it, the canoe tipped a tad and filled with water lickitly split. Oh, and ya cain’t be blabbin’ ta my sister or nopony else ’bout this.”

“Got it. Just point me to where you think the canoe might be.”

One of the few areas where my pegasus body was superior to my pegacorn form was in the water. Especially after the struggles I had windsurfing during our honeymoon, I had learned not to fight it. An hour of diving later, I found the sunken canoe. After the rock was rolled out by brute strength, the canoe popped up back to the surface like a cork with me sprawled inside from the unexpected ‘up periscope’ ascent.

Once the canoe was on the shore and turned upside down to drain, Apple Bloom related her version of events.

~ ~ ~

Ah got ta the pier right at noon, like Ah was supposed ta. Even woke up early ta make sure Ah got the pigs run through the whole South Orchard ta clean up all the dropped apples. Maybe Ah shouldn’t a bothered with mah always tardy friends. Ah had ta wait fer maybe half an hour ’fore they bothered ta show up ’round the same time. Still, Ah didn’t hold nothin’ against ’em and hugged ’em both.

Sweetie said, “Scoots, it’s great ta see ya.”

My pegasus friend poked her with a hoof and said, “Ah’m always late, but ya done got no excuse. Yer actually Thorax, aintcha?”

Sweetie belted out part of a song in that unmistakable singin’ voice of hers. That still didn’t convince Scoots. “Not bad, Thorax, but yer not foolin’ me. Whadya do with our friend?”

Sweetie gave one of those meat-eater grins that she saves jus’ for folk that get her annoyed. “Would Thorax know ‘bout yer favorite kind a’ underwear we saw in that big fancy store in Canterlot? Ya know, the one ya was droolin’ over? With the red ribbons and—”

Scoots jumped inta another hug ta shut her up. “It’s good ta see ya, Sweets!”

Ah shared a nod and a wink with Sweetie over Scootaloo’s shoulder. Ah’d hear the rest of that story later. Ah then got mah friend’s attention. “So why are ya late this time, Scoots?”

She dropped out of the hug and turned ta face me. “Ah was supposed ta get done with all mah chores and homework, but only got ’bout half done ’fore mah Aunt finally lemme go.”

Ah just nodded then both of us looked at Sweetie Belle. She pushed her mane up with a hoof, blinked her eyes and declared, “Ah was re-jahoovinatin’ myself. Gettin’ me some beauty sleep.”

“Sleep harder!” both Scoots and Ah said together. We giggled and high-hooved. Ah heard Sweetie giggle too, but she was frownin’ when Ah looked back.

She said, “Jus’ fer that, maybe Ah won’t be readin’ ta ya from the diary of Endless Chuckles.”

“An who’s that supposed ta be?” asked Scoots.

“Jus’ a super-smart filly our age who was the Queen of Pranks back in the day.”

“OK, Ah’d like ta hear that. How ‘bout it, Scoots?”

“Mmmmm… nah.” Then Ah saw her look up at Sweetie’s face. Ma unicorn friend looked mighty disappointed. Scoots stammered out, “Uhhh… maybe later.” Nice save, dumb-flank. Scoots looked at me ta change the subject. “OK, so what didya bring?”

“Granny’s apple fritters.”

“Aaaaaand?” asked Scoots.

Ah rolled my eyes. “And a bit of zap apple wine that Red Delicious didn’t finish when he visited.”

“Yes!” my pegasus friend shouted with a hoof pump.

Sweetie shrugged. “What’s the big deal? My sis lets me taste her wine sometimes.”

Scoots narrowed her eyes. “The big deal is that this is zap apple wine, which is like, super ’spensive. Right, Apple Bloom?”

Ah nodded. “Forty bits a bottle for last year’s late squeezin’ like this here bottle. The early squeezin’ goes for right near a hun’red.”

Sweetie smirked. “So Red Delicious ain’t worth wastin’ a bottle of early sqeezin’?”

“Well, he’s family… so no.”

Ma friends got a chuckle out of that. Sweets asked, “How come ya know so much about the price of every bottle?”

“’Cause Ah figure Ah’ll be takin’ over the farm eventually. Ah need ta know all there is about every product we make, from applesauce ta zap apple brandy.”

Ma unicorn friend tilted her head. “Howdya figure that? Applejack ain’t gonna retire or nothin’, is she?”

“Nope. But she gets pulled every which way as the Element of Honesty and that’s only gonna get worse. Soon, Ah’ll need ta step in whenever and do whatever.”

“What about Big Mac?”

“He can run the farm but he don’t want ta run it. Not somethin’ he likes doin’. Which is fine by me.”

Sweets tapped her chin with a hoof. “Huh. OK. What do ya think, Scoots?”

Rather than say anythin’, Scoots trotted back ta her scooter and hoofed over a bucket ta each of us. “Ya guys ready? Set, Go!” ‘Efore Ah could even say one word crosswise, Ah was duckin’ out of the way of somethin’ green Scoots threw at me. Ah reached inta the bucket as Ah skittered back and away. Ah grabbed whatever it was on top and tossed it at mah pegasus friend. It was a red water balloon and it hit her right on the cutie mark!

A bit later, all of us was out a balloons. Ah wasn’t all that wet, least compared ta mah two friends, though Scoots and Ah teamed up a bit on Sweetie and her cheater shield and tele-ka-whatsis.

Sweetie and Ah had happy smiles but Scoots had a mean one. “Yer all out? Good. ‘Cause Ah’m not.”

Ah jumped between Scoots and Sweetie. “Ya better think that over real careful, young lady.” Ah slammed my hoof inta the ground hard enuf ta make a rock break. It was shale, but ya know, Ah didn’t need ta tell Scoots that. Ah heard Sweetie giggle from a ways behind me then she was right behind mah shoulder, quick as a wink.

Scoots frowned at both of us. “Alright. Ah’ll refill yer buckets with balloons, but Ah’m keepin’ the roundest ones for me.”

Ah just nodded and went back over ta mah bucket while Sweets did the same. Ah heard her call out, “Kin Ah get one of them fritters, please?”

“Sure can!” Ah reached inta my saddlebag and pulled one out, only ta see a purple blur headin’ mah way. It hit my hoof and the desert was knocked away.

Ah turned and yelled the direction the water balloon came from. “Hey! What’s the big idea!”

Scoots looked up from her bucket. She sneered at me and waited too long ta answer. “What?”

“Whydya go ruinin’ one a Granny’s fritters?”

She started ta smirk but then stopped. Sarcastically, she said, “Now why would Ah do that? Ah plumb hate ‘em anyway.”

“S’not funny, Scoots! Ah’m not laughin’!”

She was grinning openly now. “Snot isn’t funny? Pretty sure it is.”

Ah think Sweetie Belle jus’ didn’t want us fightin’. “Kin Ah have another, please?”

Keepin’ mah eyes on Scoots the whole time, Ah pulled out one more. Out of the corner of mah eye, Ah saw it float away in Sweetie’s green aura.

Ah was still starin’ at the pegasus when Ah heard somethin’ and Sweetie yelled at me. “Hey! This book is ancient! Ah’ll get my hide tanned if it gets ruined.”

Ah heard Scoots giggle as Ah turned ta face Sweetie. “What?” She was all wet, includin’ the fritter and what must be the diary she was talkin’ ‘bout earlier.

“Ya was laughin’ at me!”

Ah narrowed mah eyes. “Ah was not! And Ah didn’t throw no balloon at ya neither.”

“Yer a no-good rotten liar,’’ said Scoots.

Ah yelled at her. “Don’t ya ever call me that! And Ah’d never go ruinin’ one of Granny’s fritters, neither.”

Ma pegasus friend said, “Pretty neat, Pineapple Gloom. Been takin’ sleight-of-hoof lessons from Miss Trixie?”

Ah was about ta say more when Ah saw a bluish-green flash from my right, where Sweetie was at. Ah wasn’t displeased ta see a water balloon smash onta Scoots’ cheek and burst.

Scoots said, “Dang it all, Sweetie Belle! That hurt!”

Ah shrugged. “Might be that she knew ya deserved it.”

She glared at me but Sweetie didn’t say anything ta contradict what Ah’d said.

Scootaloo yelled, “That’s it! Ah’m done with both of y’all!” She galloped ta her scooter and was gone in seconds.

Ah figured Ah’d had mah fill, too. Ah cantered back ta Sweet Apple Acres without another word.

I found Scootaloo’s beat-up scooter at the base of the tallest tree in the park just north of the Ponyville Schoolhouse. There was rustling from somewhere in the canopy, but I couldn’t see anypony.

I called up, “Hey, Scootaloo!”

The noises stopped for a moment. “Hey what?”

“Hey, this is Mark Wells. Can you come down so we can talk?”

“’Bout what?”

“About what happened at the lakeshore last Saturday with your friends.”

“No way. Not interested. Too busy.” The sounds of movement resumed overhead.

I sighed. “I really would appreciate it if you would come down so I could talk to you face-to-face.”

“Then fly up here. Nopony is stopping you. Besides, anything you want to say can be said to my—”

That’s when I heard a loud snap and the pegasus filly yelled out “Whoa!”

As soon as I saw her body falling through the branches, I switched to my pegacorn form and threw a shield spell around her. It was a new one Twilight insisted I learn before becoming a father.

The sphere surrounding the filly hit the ground. A shower of small branches and leaves followed. Scootaloo opened one eye experimentally. “Why didn’t I feel that?”

I dissipated the shield and Scootaloo returned to all fours on the ground. “Because I threw a Foal’s Fall shield spell on you. All the kinetic energy is absorbed by the shield.”

She got a wicked grin. “That is so awesome! I want to get to the top of the tree and try again!”

I shook my head. “Not happening. And I still want to hear your side of the story.” Would she take the hint?

Her smile got even wider. “Tell ya what. I’ll tell you what happened for you protecting me on ten drops from the top of the tree.”

“Ten?!” I exclaimed in mock surprise. “More like one more from halfway up. You already got one so that makes two.”

“Nuh-uh. That was a freebie because you’re such a nice stallion. Three drops from medium and three from on top.”

I narrowed my eyes. Apparently, bartering was second nature to this filly. She had learned well from her mentor. “One from the same spot, one from three-quarters up, and one from the top. The height goes up only if I think I can handle the jump in magic drain.”

“Deal!” Scootaloo spat on the frog of a forehoof and extended it. I smiled and repeated the gesture, saliva and all.

Ten nerve-wracking minutes later that would not be spoken of ever again, Scootaloo started on her version of events.

“Well, first of all, you need to know that I spent all morning hard at work doing my chores and homework. When my aunt finally said I was done for the day, I spent at least thirty minutes making water balloons for the CMC get-together. Even after all that hard work, I got there on time… OK, maybe a few minutes late, but Apple Bloom got there just after me, so I don’t feel too bad…”

#

I bounded off my scooter and put on my biggest smile. My two friends met me where the pier started at the shoreline. Sweetie narrowed her eyes and poked me with a hoof. “Who are you and what did you do to Scootaloo?”

“Whadya mean?”

“The filly I know is always fashionably late. What did you do to the real Scootaloo?”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t think so. Zero percent changeling. I’m soooo sorry to disappoint you.”

Sweets wouldn’t let it go. “That’s exactly what I’d expect Thorax to say!”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, clearly on my side. “Come on, Sweetie Belle—”

Sweetie Belle waved a hoof to cut her off. “No, listen! Do you know how long it’s been since Thorax pranked us? He used to hang out all the time and this is just like something he would do.” She faced me and folded her forelegs across her chest. “OK, so-called-Scootaloo. Prove to me that you aren’t Thorax pranking us.”

I grinned and tossed my helmet behind me. Only after it was airborne did I look back. My helmet sailed twenty feet or so and landed on the scooter’s handlebar. The helmet spun a bit but stayed on.

Turning back, I saw Apple Bloom gave our unicorn doubter a raised eyebrow and the corners of her mouth pulled up. “So are ya satisfied, sugarcube?”

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Mmmmm…. Good enough for now. How ya doin’, Scoots?” She practically tackled me with a hug which I returned. I felt Apple Bloom glomp in from the side to give her hug on top of ours.

I said, “Good. I got my chores done this morning. Now I’m ready to have some fun!”

Sweetie pulled back and held me at foreleg’s length. “OK. Now I know you’re not Scootaloo.”

I chuckled. “Yeah? Tell me about it. My aunt forced me to. Worth it to get together with my posse again. Hold on a sec.”

I trotted back to my scooter and unstrapped the three buckets I had there. Coming back to my friends, I gave them each one. “Let’s start our fun with a bang… or a burst, I guess.”

Sweetie sighed. “Really? Do we have to?”

Don’t know why she was in such a bad mood. “Yeah, we do. It’s a hot day and it’ll be fun. I promise!”

“Ah figure Ah could use a bit of high-speed bathin’ myself,” said Apple Bloom. “C’mon, Sweets.”

My unicorn friend pulled her lips to the side, obviously uncertain. I started backing up. “Look, I’ll let you get the first shot.” Of course, I didn’t say anything about letting it land on me.

Sweetie’s green magic field lifted a big, round yellow water balloon. I could see the ripples in the magic skin surrounding the water as my friend bounced it up and down, getting a feel for its weight.

I sat on my haunches so I could wave both forehooves high in the air. “Any day now, Sweetie! I’m not getting any younger, ya know.” I lifted my rump off the ground a bit so I could leap sideways when the moment came. “I said you could have the first shot!”

She arched an eyebrow at me. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

I smiled and waved for her to bring it. “Born ready!”

That’s when a different water balloon slammed into Sweetie’s side. I barely heard Apple Bloom’s giggle right after Sweetie Belle’s gasp. What made it worse for her was that my unicorn friend instinctively jumped to the left just as her magic cut out. I guess she forgot she had been levitating her own water balloon which fell on her head and broke.

“It’s on!” I yelled and picked up a couple of balloons and threw them at Apple Bloom. She dodged one but the other hit her cutie mark dead center. Direct hit!

After I don’t know how long, we had all run out of balloons. Naturally, I had scored the most hits and been hit the least in return. I was just too quick and athletic for them to match up with me. When I asked if my friends wanted me to refill their buckets with the ones in my saddlebags, they both happily nodded their heads.

I was pouring out the last of the water balloons into my bucket when I felt a balloon hit my neck and burst. I stood back up. “Hey! I wasn’t ready!”

Apple Bloom snorted. “What happened to ya bein’ born ready and all that?” When my attention was on her, I saw a blue flash way off to my left. I tried to duck but it was too late. The balloon from Sweetie Belle hit me in the eye.

After I got the pain under control, I glared at both of my “friends.”

“You know what? I’m done. See ya.”

I was so mad, I just left my stuff there and buzzed off on my scooter.

~ ~ ~

“… and I haven’t talked to those two jerks since.” Every bit of the filly drooped. Her demeanor looked so much like Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom that it hurt.

I sat back and thought about everything I’d heard from the three fillies. The fact that they met on the lakeshore was about the only thing they agreed on.

Just about.

There were a couple of things…

I’d need to go back to Twilight’s Castle to be sure.

“Scootaloo, thanks for telling me. Of course, you wouldn’t let Nyx down by missing her birthday party, would you?”

The filly stammered for a moment. “Nuh… No way! I’ve already got the best present too!” Then her smile fell. “That’s tonight?”

I nodded. “Be at the castle at sundown.”

She threw on her helmet and pulled her scooter away from the tree. “I gotta go do… uh… stuff. See ya!”

I had enough experience with Scootaloo to raise up a protective wing to stop the gravel thrown up by her acceleration. After watching the dust cloud rocket away, I took off to get to the castle before Twilight and Nyx returned. That’s when I could find out if my hunch was right.

I entered the Great Hall to see Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and the rest of the Elements listening to my wife carry forth about her exploits during Day Court this week. The audience’s polite attention made my heart sing – truly I couldn’t ask for better friends anywhere.

“Ah, Dowser!” Trixie broke off her story and trotted up to kiss me. I quickly answered her kiss with one in my stallion form.

“Feeling better, aren’t ‘we’?”

“Yes, the little one and Trixie are indeed feeling much improved. Miss Fluttershy is quite the expert at the healing arts.”

The pegasus smiled and lowered her head as if ducking to avoid the complement. “Well, I do get to help many of my animal friends through their pregnancies. I’m just glad to help.”

“Your skills are exemplary. Trixie won’t hear any word to the contrary.” My wife turned her attention back to me. “Trixie understands you have been trying to repair friendships between the CMC fillies.”

I nodded. “Which I will discuss with Twilight first. For now, all I will say is that all three of them will be here for Nyx’s party.”

My wife turned to Penumbra, who had soundlessly entered the room behind me. “Sergeant Penumbra. Your Royal Highness Trixie Lulamoon orders you to tell us what my husband is up to.” Penny had been so discrete in shadowing me that none of the fillies had any idea she was there. Sigh. To be honest, I hadn’t seen any indication she had been there either.

I heard a chuckle behind me. “Sorry, Your Worship. I am tasked with protecting my charge from all threats, including impatient mares.”

Applejack said, “Uh, huh. Sure. You ain’t got no idea, do ya?”

I turned to see my bodyguard shrug. “Had other things to do than foalsit everything he did. So no clue.”

Before the mares tried some new angle to get information out of me, I said, “OK, ladies. Why don’t you catch me up on what you have been doing these last couple of weeks while we head down to the daggerscale portal room. Twilight, Thorax, and the filly-of-the-hour should be arriving any time now.”

The suspicious looks I got even from Fluttershy told me not a single one of them was fooled by my abrupt change of topic.

#

“… and now Griffonstone has allowed our hive to establish an embassy in the New Talon District which is already over half full with new projects. The future looks bright for resin and resin-enhanced building materials. The griffons are on board and might even let us showcase experimental designs in their city.” Twilight practically danced on her hooves and her beaming smile was constant. I could see the bags under her eyes, though. Once again, she was addressing new problems by working herself too hard rather than delegating. Trixie and I would have to sit her down for another long talk, but the occasion of Nyx’s birthday was not it.

“Say, Twilight, would you tell me something?”

The purple mare looked me in the eyes and nodded.

“What did you do with Nyx last Saturday? Trixie and I are curious how that Mother/Daughter day turned out.”

Twilight looked back down the corridor as we approached the Great Hall. “Oh, it was quite wonderful! First, we made breakfast for each other, then she asked me how to cast two spells at once. I showed Nyx how to levitate objects while invisible and she was pretty successful. Then we played hide-and-seek. After that we took a portal up to Cloudsdale and watched a Wonderbolt training session. From the way her eyes lit up, I think she might be the first alicorn member someday!”

It was obvious how proud Twilight was of her daughter, which made me hate to break my friend’s mood. “Just so you know, Twilight, I’ll make sure Nyx apologizes to her CMC friends tonight.”

My friend’s eyes grew concerned. “Oh, why is that?”

“I’ll let her tell everypony at once.”

Right then, we arrived at the Great Hall. Nyx gasped at the decorations and immediately took flight to inspect all the ribbons, banners, and flowers that lined the walls. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo were all there but stood as far away from each other as physically possible while trying to look anywhere except at their former friends.

When the alicorn filly came back down to the floor, I motioned for Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity to bring their young charges over to where Nyx was gawking at her eleven or twelve layer cake.

Pinkie Pie brandished two pie slicers that were at least as long as she was. “Is the birthday alicorn ready to have some cake? Whoops! Forgot!” The pink mare turned around in place, facing the cake for only the briefest of moments. When she looked at Nyx again, every candle on the cake was lit. “Is the special-filly-of-the-day ready to blow out her candles first?”

“Sure am!” said Nyx. She took in a big, dramatic breath and let it out at the same time her horn flashed blue. The sudden gust of wind tore the top layer off and it hit the back wall with a splat. Please let that layer have the rancid guacamole flavor. The rest of the layers were caught in Twilight’s magic and gently floated back in place.

Nyx pouted. “Awww. I only got about half of the candles out. Can I try again?”

Her mother rustled her mane with a hoof. “You did just great, dear. How about instead, let’s have Pinkie serve your guests, OK?”

“Oh, that sounds good, too!”

As Pinkie’s blades of culinary doom flashed through the cake, the Cutie Mark Crusaders finally got close enough to wish Happy Birthday to Nyx, though from three different directions. With a squee, Nyx tackled each in turn to give them a hug.

Before Nyx could pick up on the sour mood, I asked, “Nyx, would you tell your friends what you learned from your mother on Saturday?”

With a huge grin, the young alicorn marched to a spot in the middle of her friends. Along the way, she levitated three forks off of the serving table and they floated in front of her. “Well, nothing major, just how to be invisible and levitate at the same time, even when I’m flying… like this!” Nyx opened her wings and disappeared, with only a brief flash of blue from her horn whenever she grabbed and threw one of the forks in a shower juggling pattern. A giggle escaped the space where she had previously been visible.

Her three friends stood with their eyes bugging out and their mouths gaping.

Apple Bloom said, “That giggle…”

Sweetie Belle said, “That blue flash…”

Scootaloo said, “The pranks…”

All three pointed a hoof at the open space that appeared to juggle the three forks with only an occasional spark of light. They chorused, “It was you!”

Nyx dropped her invisibility spell and the forks clattered to the floor. A moment later, she landed and folded her wings. Nyx frowned and reached up to touch her horn. “Really? You can still see my magic? Bumming.”

I smiled. “Now Nyx, I think you should—”

Scootaloo interrupted me while she moved to Nyx’s side. “That is so cool! Just think about what we can do now!”

I tried again. “Uh, yes. Nyx, don’t you feel—”

Apple Bloom trotted up to her friends. “Diamond Tiara is supposed to be havin’ a picnic with Silver Spoon on the far side of the lake. Scoots, you got any more water balloons?”

“Yep. I was planning to use them on you two.”

Sweetie Belle had come to join the other fillies and the four shared a laugh. The unicorn filly said, “As if! I won’t go easy on you next time!”

Apple Bloom said, “Ah… uh… found my sis’ canoe, so we can sneak up on ’em all quiet like and have Nyx drench ’em!”

I said, “Nyx, this is a good time—”

The four lifted their right forehooves as one, touching them together. “Cutie Mark Crusaders – Master Pranksters – yay!” In a clatter of hooves, they stormed off together.

In the silence that followed, I said to the party mare. “Sorry, Pinkie. Looks like because of me, the fillies will be having their cake slices later rather than sooner.”

“Pffft.” Pinkie waved a hoof in an unconcerned manner. “No worries, Mark. I’ll save a few slices for each of them.”

I thought to follow up by asking what exactly would happen to the metric ton of cake that wouldn’t be kept for the CMC members, then decided I probably didn’t want to know.

I turned around to see Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight giving me the same knowing smirk. The farm mare said, “Didn’t quite go like ya planned now did it?”

I shook my head. “Friendship lesson?”

“No,” said Twilight. “Parenting lesson. No plan with foals survives contact with their reality.”

Rarity said, “Darling, it would be best to simply disabuse yourself of the notion you can guide them where you want them to go. They will get there, just not at the pace or on the path that you wanted.”

Rainbow Dash laughed. “Yeah, what Rares said but with less fancy words. Just focus on how much you love 'em and the rest will turn out OK.”

I got a kiss from my wife who put an empty wineglass into my hoof. “Well done, Dowser. Trixie decrees that you have succeeded in your task. Now the adults can get to the serious matter of enjoying our time without having fillies underfoot.”

I sat down and waited for my wife to finish pouring. I took a sip then looked at the bottle she had in her hoof. Prench – doubtless like hundreds more that had been transferred over to the newly discovered wine cellar in Twilight’s basement.

Well, I supposed it was never too early for my first lesson in parenthood.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Airy Words felt the acute lack of a Rashomon effect chapter in Off The Mark. It took him many months to come up with a new spin on the PPOV episode... and almost as long to write it! :rainbowlaugh:

Chapter 67 - Stormed

If I had thought that Canterlot had been abuzz on my wedding day, it was nothing compared to this. Months of planning had culminated in this absolute orgy of celebration and good times that was the inaugural Festival of Friendship. Twilight Sparkle had spent every spare moment when she wasn’t doing royal duties, being a mother to Nyx, and being Hive Mother to Thorax’s changelings working on all the little details involved in Equestria’s largest-ever public party. Throughout the final two weeks, I heard Twilight repeat a mantra to herself over and over again. By the day of the event, she believed in her words enough to say them with confidence to anypony who would listen. “Trust in Harmony.”

Of course, she couldn’t do it on her own. Thankfully, she had learned her lessons and delegated responsibility for each particular aspect of the festival to those who were best at that kind of thing.

Naturally, Pinkie Pie was charged with supervising the catering and various games for the foals, but she had the help of many others too. Rainbow Dash had organized a special appearance of the Wonderbolts and they were scheduled to put on an exhibition at two o’clock. Trixie had insisted on being in charge of the entertainment, and evidence of the former magician’s touch in this showed in the carnival-style sideshows and the gaudy decorations. The glistening life-size statues of Celestia and Luna in the main square were her idea too. However, she had overachieved by booking no less than three superstar performers for the evening concert. Countess Coloratura had arrived early to spend time with her fillyhood friend, Applejack, before meeting with the foals from the Canterlot Orphanage. Sapphire Shores, the Pony of Pop, arrived next, making her way immediately to Rarity’s boutique to be fitted with the latest of her amazing outfits for which the singer was famous, to be showcased at tonight’s concert for the first time. Yet to arrive was the headlining act – Songbird Serenade. The pegasus performer was due to appear soon to run through sound checks and rehearsals, and security was ready to deal with her hordes of fans. That was where I came in.

Festival security was my responsibility. That didn’t involve just organizing the Royal Guard for special duties. I had recruited some members of the Crystal Guard too, but with the attendance of Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor, that was a relatively simple addition to the squads on patrol. Less obvious were the crystal changelings that Thorax had assigned to me. His brother, Pharynx, led the covert team, and while I found him to be an abrasive personality, I had no qualms about his competence. Dozens of changelings mingled among the festival-goers disguised as ponies. Although on duty, they waded through a veritable feast of positive emotions even as they kept alert for the sour taste of troublemakers. I had hoped to have the Pillars of Old Equestria here too, but with the exception of Rockhoof, they were all involved in personal projects all around the country. With these and a few other arrangements, I had done my best to ensure that Twilight’s special event proceeded without incident.

The concert wasn’t going to start until after sunset and there was so much more happening before then. Everything from street performers to amusement rides entertained the crowd and a plethora of food stalls catered to a huge variety of tastes. This was no mere carnival though. Pavilions had been set up with cultural displays from many places including Mount Aris, the Crystal Empire, Yakyakistan (Yaks make best exhibition!), Griffonstone, the Crystal Hive, the Buffalo Tribe, and even Dragon Lord Ember had sent a few representatives with strict instructions to “be nice”. They had a gigantic tent set up where they gave demonstrations of dragon superiority which, while not quite the theme of the event, was as close to it as the dragon tribes had yet gotten. The ponies who dared visit them inevitably left an impression on the dragons, so it wasn’t as if there wasn’t some sort of two-way cultural exchange happening.

Surprisingly, Zecora had also set up a booth to educate everycreature on Zebra culture. She was assisted by her new apprentice, a zebra colt. I had been startled to see him as the zebra nation was infamous for its isolationism. Zecora was an outcast due to her more progressive attitudes towards other species which was why she had left Zebrica and set up her home in the Everfree Forest. How she managed to acquire a zebra apprentice was a mystery she soon explained to me.

“Not everything is as such you see. He changed his looks to learn from me,” Zecora intoned.

Zuberi was, in fact, an evolved crystal changeling who was fascinated by Zecora’s culture and potion-making magic. He had begged her for the opportunity to be her student and the shaman mare had finally relented after testing him for aptitude. He had taken the permanent alter-ego of a teenage zebra colt typical of such neophytes. As far as he was concerned, he was now a zebra, and the more immersed he got into Zecora’s culture, the more that became the literal truth. I found this to be very intriguing and wondered what other developments we would see in this new era of changelings. As for his rhyming… well… let’s just say his aptitude for natural medicines didn’t yet flow over to that part of the job.

Trixie and I started the day off with breakfast with Twilight and Thorax. Trixie was especially looking forward to the festival as it was the first big event since getting over months of morning sickness. The changeling king had brought his contingent of subjects to Canterlot the previous evening so they could get an early start to their preparations. To my surprise, Thorax had brought something extra specifically for me.

“As Head of Security and because you have done so much for us, the Crystal Hive wishes to present this gift to you, Prince Mark.” Thorax held up a circlet crown, this one adorned with a large green gem. “The Changeling Stone is imbued with special magic created for Chrysalis’ mother as a gift to her mate. It bestows upon the pony who wears it some portion of our changeling abilities.”

I blinked in surprise. “Wait! Are you saying Chrysalis’ sire was a pony?”

“Yes. Other than changeling drones that ascend, all princesses have a pony father. Something about preserving genetic viability, I understand. Chrysalis detests that fact with a passion and she used to punish any changeling who dared mention it.”

I felt a huge smirk grow on my face. “Oh, I can’t wait to have a chat with her about that! Who was he?”

“An itinerant unicorn named Winding Way. He encountered the Queen Mother at a town where he was passing through. They dallied together for several days, him oblivious to her nature, of course. She was captivated by the stallion and took the unusual step of bringing him to the hive without rendering him unconscious. You can imagine the stir that caused but the Queen’s wishes were paramount. Winding Way, to everybuggy’s surprise, was quite fascinated by the hive and sought to learn more. The Queen doted on him and he responded in kind. He said that he had found what he had been searching for after so many years. They mated and had three daughters. Chrysalis was the eldest, though there were older princesses from other fathers that did not know the Queen Mother’s true nature.”

“So why does Chrysalis hate her father?”

“Because he monopolized all of her mother’s love and caring. She treated her daughters with indifference and cruelty. What’s more, the daughters could be called upon at any time to fight each other to the death. This way, the princesses were always at each other’s throats and too weak to challenge for the leadership of the hive. Aware of his pony sensibilities, the Queen Mother ordered none of this be revealed to her mate. She didn’t want to change the stallion in any way. He was enthralled to her and oblivious to his children’s mistreatment. Chrysalis grew to despise ponies because of him and her mother’s pandering to the stallion. That’s why the Changeling Stone exists. The Queen wanted some way that her mate could blend in more with the hive and also serve as a means of protection for him whenever they ventured away from it. Queen Dactylia of the Southern Wastes Hive was commissioned to produce the Changeling Stone as they had the superior knowledge of magic. It was set into this crown for Winding Way to wear when the Queen declared him king of the hive. That was the last straw for Chrysalis.”

“What did she do?” I asked, dreading the answer.

“Chrysalis used her charisma and promises to do what the Queen Mother never foresaw – convincing the five princesses to join forces to assassinate their mother. Two daughters were killed during the attack and two others left the hive soon afterwards, leaving Chrysalis sitting on the throne. She slew her father, of course. She had the Changeling Stone buried in a forgotten corner of the hive. We only recently found it again.”

“So, why are you giving such a valuable artifact to me?”

“What use do we have for it? Twilight doesn’t need it, and no evolved changeling would ever treat any potential pony mate that way either. Best to give it to somepony who both deserves it and may find it useful.”

“Then, thank you for such a precious gift.” I put the circlet on and it fit my head perfectly.

When Thorax noticed my raised eyebrows, he said, “It’s a changeling device – it adjusts to the wearer.”

I nodded. Of course, it would. “How do I use it?”

“You just need to focus on what you wish to do. Let’s start with a full-body illusion. Try changing your coat color.”

While I had been bemused by having a green coat when I first arrived in Equestria, I had grown used to it and had never thought about changing it… until now. I closed my eyes and concentrated.

“Well done,” I heard Thorax say.

I opened my eyes and looked at my foreleg. It now appeared to be the same shade of blue as my wife.

“Trixie approves of her husband’s taste,” she said.

Thorax said, “Practice will make the changes easier and last longer. The illusion will last a couple of hours at least unless you release it. Now, let’s try a physical change. This will take more effort and will require constant focus, although it will likely get easier over time. Remember – start small.”

I thought about it for a moment, looking around the room for inspiration, and then I smiled. I closed my eyes again and focused on the change I desired. This time I felt the stone on my forehead warm up and I took that as a sign that it was working. When the heat ebbed, I opened my eyes and looked at Trixie.

She gasped. “You have slit pupils like a batpony!”

“The room seems a lot brighter too. I bet I have excellent night vision now.”

“Just don’t expect to borrow my shades,” said my ever-present guardian.

I grinned at Penny, showing the fangs that I had grown as well.

“Oh, for the love of…. Put them away! They look silly on you!”

I laughed. This broke my concentration enough to cause me to revert to my normal form. “I call this a success. I’ll practice a bit more later. Meanwhile, we have work to do. This event won’t run itself!”

The festival had gotten off to an early start with the official opening at nine o’clock. The crowd had grown considerably since then. Canterlot was a predominantly unicorn city, but today the sky was busy with pegasi and griffons enjoying the festivities while earth ponies galore and several other species rubbed shoulders with the earthbound unicorns. Eye-catching displays and lots of street music entertained the visitors as they wandered through the streets of Canterlot, discovering new things on every corner. Twilight’s smile was so wide that it threatened to break her face in half as she delighted in the culmination of all her efforts. Not even when the Crusaders had whisked Nyx away did she worry. Everything was just perfect!

Cadance and Shining Armor had arrived in time for the opening ceremonies, bringing along Shiny Button and Flurry Heart. The Princess of Love excused herself promptly after that, causing Twilight to raise an eyebrow.

Shining gave his sister a sheepish grin. “With Button around, Cady was inspired to have another foal. Maybe she wants to be one up on Chrysalis. Anyway, I asked her if she didn’t think two were enough for now. The fact that she’s suffering from morning sickness at the moment might tell you what her answer was.”

Twilight was looking conspicuously pregnant by now, as was Trixie. It seemed that pregnant princesses were all the rage this season. I most definitely didn’t intend to join the club though. I was going to be busy enough as a father. I was still hoping for a colt but my wife and I had resisted the temptation to find out in advance whether Trixie was bearing a filly instead. While there was a spell for determining the sex of the foal, most parents preferred to learn at the time of birth. Trixie and I were in that camp. Shining didn’t have to look after his children alone, at least. Sunburst was there to keep an eye on his charge, leaving the prince able to concentrate on Flurry’s brother. While the changeling-pony hybrid was only a few months older, he had developed a lot faster than his sister and needed to be constantly supervised as he was fascinated by absolutely everything that was going on around him. I saw his father galloping flat-out more than once just to keep up. I had to chuckle. Shining didn’t look at all like a somber, dignified leader of the commonwealth most closely allied to Equestria. Then my smile fell. In a few months, that would be me throwing dignity to the wind for more pressing familial concerns. Ah, well. Thanks to the part-royal jester and part-Tartarus-spawn Penumbra, who was absently scanning the crowd while crunching on a lollipop, my dignity was pretty much shot anyway.

It was just after noon when Songbird Serenade arrived. Her personal security ponies flanked her as she exited her carriage and allowed Twilight to approach to greet her. Shining Armor saved both his sister and the diva from an errant giant cake but, otherwise, the meeting went well and the Royal Guards escorted the rock star to the venue. With the last of the celebrities accounted for, I was free to wander around and enjoy the atmosphere for a while. I didn’t try to join any of the lines for the amusement rides though. I’d already ridden them all, some with Trixie, the previous evening. For testing purposes, of course. Safety first!

It was during my wanderings that I noticed some heavy clouds drifting in from the south. I frowned and said to Penny, “Wasn’t the weather scheduled to be clear all day?”

“I recall hearing Princess Twilight ordering that from the weather team, so, yeah,” she replied. “But it’s coming from the direction of the Everfree Forest, so it could be one of those patches of wild weather that escapes it occasionally.”

“Hmmm. Better deal with it before it affects the festival. Page!” One of the castle staff was always available at my call, although they only had to work in hour-long shifts so that they could enjoy the festival too.

A young unicorn mare stepped up. “Yes, Your Highness?”

“Contact the head of the Canterlot Weather Service and tell them to send out a team to drive away the approaching clouds. We don’t want unexpected showers to ruin the festivities.”

“At once, sir!” she said with a salute before teleporting away. All of the castle pages had that ability which is what made them so useful. They were able to access any part of Canterlot in an instant. Unfortunately, I knew that the majority of the city’s weather team had already done their job for the day and had taken the rest off to enjoy the festival. Dealing with the clouds would be delayed until the team leader could round enough of them up to handle the problem. I hoped that she could before the clouds spoiled the fun.

I kept an eye on the situation even as I continued mingling. I knew Penny was a little on edge due to me being surrounded by the crowd all the time, but it wasn’t as if she had sole responsibility for my protection under these circumstances. I was being constantly shadowed by Royal Guards, both visible and hidden, although I didn’t really feel threatened at any time. But that was their job, and at least they were fairly discreet about it. At last, I noticed a flock of pegasi heading directly for the clouds which hadn’t quite reached Canterlot yet. While the magic-resistant wild weather was notoriously difficult to corral, I was confident that the weather team would soon have it under control. Therefore, it came as a shock to me when that didn’t happen and the sun began to be eclipsed by the encroaching grey clouds with the occasional flash of internal lightning illuminating them.

Then an airship sailed out of their midst, trailing dark plumes of smoke that indicated some dirty form of power being utilized for propulsion. From its pennants, I recognized that it had to belong to the Storm King. My ears lowered as I felt a strong sense of unease. Either this was his way of making a grand entrance or the precursor to my worst fears. However, because security was my responsibility, I elected to play it safe. I beckoned to one of the Royal Guards. When he came over, I said, “Tell General Crushing Blow to be ready to put our contingency plans into immediate effect. Go!”

The pegasus Guard saluted and took off for the general’s command post.

I turned to Penny whom I noticed had gone into full Guard mode already. “Trixie might want to greet the Storm King because she invited him, but Twilight will almost certainly be there as it’s her festival which she’s promoting as the Princess of Friendship. We’re going to keep a close eye on them.”

“Alright,” she replied, “but my first responsibility is your safety, not theirs.”

We headed for the square which was quickly being cleared of festival-goers as they realized that the airship was coming in to land. Sure enough, I spotted Twilight headed there with her brother beside her. Shining Armor must have decided to spend some time with his sister while his wife was resting up in the castle. Good. That put one of the strongest defenders in Equestria by the alicorn’s side. However, I was perturbed that he had Flurry Heart riding on his back too. Maybe I could persuade him to let somepony else mind her for the moment.

“Coming to greet our guest too, Tanbark Bombshells?”

I turned to see Trixie almost upon me. I paused to let her catch up and the Guards rearrange themselves to protect both of us. “Trixie, I hope that this is just the Storm King grandstanding, but I have a bad feeling about this.”

“You worry too much. The yeti ambassador was nothing less than charming.”

I glanced up at the dark clouds that had not blown away, wondering what had happened to the weather ponies. “I don’t doubt that but my gut says otherwise.”

“We shall soon see.”

The airship settled down to a stop but not without some collateral damage to the surrounding structures. Then a hatch opened and a gangplank extended. Twilight started heading towards it with her brother and Button on one side of her and her daughter on the other, her bodyguard, Vespa, trailing slightly behind. “This should be a good experience for how a princess greets special guests, Nyx,” she said with a reassuring smile.

Nyx looked uncertain but nodded anyway.

“We should join them,” Trixie said.

“No, we shouldn’t,” I replied sternly, holding out a foreleg to stop her from going forward. “Let’s see how this plays out first.” We were close enough to be in earshot but still obscured by the crowd and our guards.

Trixie gave me an annoyed look but complied.

Just then, a being appeared in the doorway. Unexpectedly, it wasn’t a yeti. Instead, it was some sort of squat and rotund creature with a huge crest of fur that I had never seen before. Rather than armor, he wore a bib emblazoned with the Storm King’s blue lightning bolts. Was this an infant of his race? He was carrying sound equipment though, so it was obvious what he was about to do. There was a short screech of feedback before he began speaking.

“Ponieth of Equethtria, we come on behalf of the fearsome, the powerful, the almighty...Thtorm King!”

In spite of the lisp, his words chilled the crowd, as did the huge banner that unfurled over the airship that showed the Storm King’s visage.

He continued, “And now, to deliver his methage, put your hooveth together for Commander Tempetht!”

There were some minor fireworks and a red haze through which emerged someone quite unexpected.

Twilight said, “Is that a... unicorn?”

Shining replied, “I think so, but what happened to her horn?”

A tall, maroon-coated pony with a bright red mane held in a tall crest stood in the doorway gazing contemptuously at the crowd. She had a long scar over her right eye and, although it was not easy to see from where I was standing, she had a ragged stump of a horn above her forehead.

“Tempest, is it?” Twilight asked. “How may we help you?”

Tempest’s smile held no warmth. “I'm so glad you asked. How about we start with your complete and total surrender?”

I turned to Penny and spat out, “Evacuation drill!”

She nodded, lifted up into the air and blew a whistle twice to get everypony’s attention. “Colts and fillies, this is an evacuation drill. Lead your nearest adult to the evacuation portals. First to arrive there gets to activate it.” This was received by a chorus of young cheers. The portals had an activation button that any pony could press to open the gateway, not just a unicorn. All foals had been instructed not to mess with them or risk a year’s detention helping the school janitors. For the festival, guards were posted by each portal because, well, kids would be kids. The lure of actually being allowed to activate a portal had foals racing for the nearest ones, their parents and other adults gamely trying to keep up with them. Every schoolfoal in Canterlot had gone through two portal evacuation drills at this point, and all adults were at least familiar with the procedure. How many would follow through remained to be seen.

Tempest looked over the retreating ponies and frowned. Apparently this part was not going according to plan. Twilight was taken aback for a moment, but then she gamely continued on. “I am the Princess of Friendship, and while I’m not exactly sure what's going on, I know we can talk things out.” Despite her words, she surreptitiously pushed Nyx back towards Vespa who took the hint and drew her away before doing the same with Button. Sunburst pushed his way up to Shining’s side, grabbed Flurry Heart off of his back, and retreated the way he came.

Tempest’s eyes flicked over to where Trixie and myself were standing before she replied, “No need for talk – I know what I want. Here's the deal, ladies. I need your magic. Give it up nicely, please, or we make it difficult for everyone!”

Shining Armor frowned, crouching a little into full battle alert mode. “And why should we cower before you? There's one of you and hundreds of us.”

The Storm King’s envoy chuckled. “I was hoping you'd choose difficult. I have something for you, Princess.” Tempest tossed a small sphere at the alicorn.

Twilight reflexively tried to catch it with her magic but it merely pulsed with power, slipping through her field and striking her on the neck where it shattered. Immediately, rock-like growths started spreading from the impact point to the rest of her body. She screamed briefly in terror before the stony growths covered her completely.

“Release Twilight NOW!” roared Shining aiming a blast of his horn at Tempest.

However, Tempest dodged even as dozens of tall, furry creatures started to pour out of the hatch behind her. I recognized the hulking beasts as the ones from the reality where I had tried and failed to take a photo of them. One of them raised a shield that absorbed the impact of the blast, barely staggering the powerful beast. Tempest spun around and kicked another of the spheres at Shining who immediately threw up his shield.

I’ve witnessed Shining Armor’s shield in action. Huge boulders bounce off it without making him blink. Magic attacks ground themselves out. His shield is stronger than any pony’s in Equestria, perhaps even Celestia’s, because it was his special talent. I had no doubt that he was safe. Therefore I was stunned when the sphere neither rebounded nor sputtered out. Instead, it clung, hissing and snarling, throwing off gouts of raw energy.

“It’s feeding off the magic in my shield!” gasped Shining. “I can’t stop it!”

Abruptly, it burst through and struck the stallion. A repeat of what had happened to Twilight swiftly overwhelmed Shining Armor and another statue adorned the square.

“Get out of here!” I yelled at Trixie when I noticed that Tempest had her eyes on my wife now.

Sure enough, another of those magic balls was sent on its way. Penny and the Guards were already preoccupied by the Storm King’s troops, so I grabbed a pole bearing a pennant and swung it while yelling, “Batter up!” I had only ever been an average baseball player and hadn’t practiced once since coming to Equestria, but I managed to hit the sphere cleanly and it went flying away from me without harm. Apparently, it had to touch magic or a pony to activate it. The ball headed towards the retreating crowd but landed safely before reaching them. However, at the last moment, somepony yelled, “I got it!” A grey pegasus flew over to pick it up.

“Derpy! NO!” I screamed, but it was too late. Her hoof touched it and the weapon did its foul deed.

I turned to see that even more of the creatures were pouring out of the ship and surrounding Trixie and me. Our protectors were on the verge of being overwhelmed. “Teleport, dammit!” I ordered my wife.

“Trixie can’t just leave you!” she wailed.

“I’m not going to just let them take me. Go!” I switched to pegacorn form and launched myself into the air. I then used my magic to hurl her in the direction of the retreating crowd.

With a squeal of fear, she popped away. Hopefully, she teleported herself to the palace which was heavily guarded. From my new vantage point, I could see General Crushing Blow’s forces coming to meet the invaders. With luck, all our preparations for such an eventuality would soon have this situation under control. However, those stormtroopers were still pouring out of the airship though. How many were in there? They must have been packed in like sardines!

A crash of thunder accompanying a bolt of lightning slamming into the square startled me and drew my attention up to the clouds. Another ship was emerging from under its cover. No – two… three… six…. How many more? They just kept coming! This was a full-scale invasion! I was suddenly sure of what had happened to the weather ponies who had been sent to clear the clouds. More bolts of lightning rained down then, some striking buildings and pavilions, but others struck the oncoming Equestrian troops, sending many hurtling away in the blasts. How many were killed or incapacitated in just these first few seconds? I snarled and slammed my wings down to thrust myself up to the enemy ships, drawing their attention away from the ground. Sure enough, lightning bolts quickly came my way. I could have dodged them in my Celestial form, but instead, I let two hit me.

For months, I had been training with Blue Arc to handle lightning. Not just endure it but actually use it. It still stung like crazy but it didn’t injure me in the slightest. By the time the stallion had taught me all he knew, I had exceeded his every expectation. I truly understood what my cutie mark meant now. Even from my earliest attempts to learn to fly, lightning and I had an affinity. From nearly loosing a thunderbolt by accident to unconsciously drawing all the lightning to me when I was flying through the storm to Twilight’s palace, my special talent had been trying to express itself. Now I understood it though, and I was going to use it!

More lightning bolts struck me but did no more harm than the first ones. Little did the Storm King know but he was charging me up for my attack. My normal pegasus form was equally immune but had nowhere near as much capacity as my pegacorn form. I was practically buzzing when I judged the time was right and I loosed a gigantic bolt of power at the nearest airship. The timbers and other materials exploded like a bomb had hit it, flames already licking at the more flammable parts. Scores of bodies fell out of the ship that had nearly been rent in half. More shock troops. I could not afford to worry about the lives that I had just taken or those who would soon die in the fall. The remaining ships were already targeting me.

Some of the ships were ignoring me though, heading for a landing. I had to stop them, but I was no longer alone. Pegasus, thestral, and griffon troops had joined in the attack and even the dragons were coming to our defense. Opposing them were creatures that resembled stone gargoyles taking off from the airships. Were they magical golems of some sort? Regardless, I could only see a few dozen and my allies were engaging them. That left me free to concentrate on the highest priorities. The futile lightning attacks kept charging me up and I kept blowing up ship after ship. But then I noticed that the lowest ships were dropping their troops anyway. The creatures apparently were tough enough to cope with a high fall. They were immediately getting up and marching into the city. I realized that I needed to stop the ships before they got within drop range.

“Heads up!” somepony yelled.

I whipped my head around to see Penny intercept a weighted net that had been aimed at me. I think she intended just to deflect it but a leg got tangled and the net dragged her down. I had gotten careless. Just because lightning was apparently the Storm King’s primary weapon didn’t mean it was his only one. Penny had doubtless been watching my back almost from the start, but I had to be more alert now. I resumed my attack on the airships, but even as I did so, I perceived that our aerial troops had gradually thinned out. Diverting a bit of my attention, I soon saw why. Pegasi are naturally resistant to lightning, but after being struck, they generally were too stunned to do anything for a while and were vulnerable to follow-up attacks with weighted nets. Weather ponies were usually a bit more hardy, but even they were out of the fighting after two or three hits. My backup was quickly being whittled away. How many were dying this day?

At least the civilians in the area seemed to have managed to get away via the portals which were now closed. Deeper into the city, I saw other portals were still open with ponies running towards them. Around the square, unicorn troops were firing offensive spells at both the invading ships and the hulking beasts pouring into the city but they were having little effect. Their armor had to have some way of blocking magic, much like Chrysalis’ throne had nullified pony powers. Arrows, swords, and spears might have been more effective, but those our soldiers had on hoof were inadequate for the task. I recalled the changeling queen’s story of how the Southern Wastes Hive had been overrun and now I could see why. Even after everything we had learned, we had still underestimated the Storm King. Pegasus sight showed me how the stormtroopers were taking the streets as they overwhelmed our defenses. If we were to have any chance at all of stopping them, we had to prevent the rest of the fleet of ships from landing.

I redoubled my efforts but the enemy had finally gotten wise. Fewer lightning bolts came my way and then they stopped altogether. After discharging my last store of electrical energy, I was left with just my pegasus abilities and my special one-shot magic attack. Then I spotted him. The Storm King. While not the gargantuan size depicted in his banner, the yeti was still at least four times my height. The Storm King was even taller than his ambassador but without a trace of fat on his body. He was standing on the bow of his ship, holding a strange, blue-crystal-topped staff in one hand and steadying himself with a cable in the other. And he was laughing. He watched as the ship I had just blown up go crashing into the cliff-side and he laughed louder. Great – I was dealing with a loony. An extremely dangerous loony. He was my target. I put on my best speed and prepared my one-shot. If I could take him out, we could probably end this battle now. He saw me approaching and he grinned. He raised his staff and pointed it at me but I was prepared to dodge if needed. I was ready to fire when something slammed into me from above and the world turned black.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

The Storm King didn't find Canterlot to be such a pushover in this universe, but it looks like he may have come out on top after all. Find out what happens in the next thrilling chapter!

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 69 - A New Dawn

I woke with a start. My vision was filled with blue which, when I lifted my head, turned out to be my wife’s fur coat. A darker patch showed where I had been drooling on her in my sleep.

“Did you enjoy your nap, Birthmark Clamshells?” Trixie asked with a smirk.

I smiled with chagrin. “I guess I was tired.”

“Trixie has reason to believe that was true.”

After we had set up a command post in one of the unoccupied tents, I had grabbed some snacks from an abandoned food cart. Of course, I left a generous payment! After expending so much energy during my battle with the Storm King, my body had been demanding nourishment to make up for the loss. Twilight explained that a portion of the biomatter used during the regeneration process came from my body’s reserves. Given all that, when I relaxed with food in my belly, torpor had quickly set in. Thankfully, my wife hadn’t objected to being my pillow.

“Sorry I left all the work to you, Twilight, and Thorax, Lulu.”

“Trixie thinks you’ve done enough today. Let your co-rulers do some of the work.”

I shakily got to my hooves and took in the current situation in the tent. Starlight Glimmer was discussing the return of Canterlot’s citizens with Trixie. Spike was making a report on the casualties to Twilight. Trixie told me soldiers occasionally brought word from General Crushing Blow who was dealing with the aftermath and the surrendered storm troopers. Around the perimeter, Royal Guards awaited commands from their triarchs.

Looking out of the tent, I no longer saw smoke billowing from multiple fires across the city. Instead, I glanced up to see a smoke representation of Discord floating high overhead. The figure was at least as tall as Mount Canterhorn. I gaped as it billowed and churned across the sky, maneuvering through one dance move after another. Only when it seemed to wink in my direction did I break out of my stupor.

I interrupted my wife. “Ummm… did Discord—”

Trixie waved her hoof. “Yes, yes. Put out all the fires. Many buildings and homes repaired but interiors upside down or inside out. Every foal in Canterlot happily distracted by trying to follow along as he line-dances. If you’ll excuse me, Pockmark Barbells.” She then went back to discussing food stores with Starlight.

There was also a line of drones in front of Thorax ready to act as couriers for our instructions. Many of them were unevolved but one thing was noticeable about all of those – the voids in their limbs were noticeably diminished. Some of them had virtually unblemished carapaces. The time spent mingling with the citizens of Ponyville and being of service to them had not only normalized the presence of changelings in the community, but it had brought out the ponies’ natural goodwill and appreciation. Just as “Kevin” had done in the past, the drones had been lapping up all the freely given positive emotions and were very much healthier for it.

The next changeling came to the head of the queue. Not only was her carapace fully intact, but her wings also sparkled. Thorax looked at the drone keenly. Rather than giving her a task, he said, “You’re ready.”

The changeling gasped. “Are you sure, Your Majesty?”

“Yes. You are ready for the next stage. Come around here, Papilla.” Thorax indicated a spot beside him.

Papilla moved to the indicated position and Thorax faced her. The Changeling King lowered his head until his antler touched her horn. I watched in fascination as he closed his eyes and both of his antlers glowed. The light was echoed in the drone’s eyes and then they closed too. The glow spread through Papilla’s body until it was surrounded by an intense aura. Then, when it faded, what remained was a cocoon. This was the first time that I had witnessed the metamorphosis of a drone to the evolved stage. I had wondered how that worked.

“Take Papilla to the incubation nest,” Thorax instructed the next changeling.

As the cocoon was picked up and taken away, I recalled when Thorax had been in a similar situation. “How long until she emerges?” I asked.

Thorax replied, “Much faster than my transformation because the changes aren’t as drastic. She’ll be out and enjoying her new self in about three days.”

“Cool. Do you have to trigger the change?”

“Yes. I mind-link with them to imprint the upgrade on their body, so to speak. Otherwise, they just remain in the sparkly wing stage. Very healthy but they can’t reach their full potential.”

I considered. “I saw Pharynx earlier. Why hasn’t he taken the lead and evolved?”

Thorax guffawed. “My brother will be the very last changeling to do so. I offered it to him soon after I took the throne and he laughed in my face. He was the only changeling to out-stubborn the queen during her reign – even going so far as to tell her off…” I raised an eyebrow. That didn’t sound like the Chrysalis I knew. “… in private.” I nodded. That was believable.

“You realize that your unique elevation to royal status might alter changelings forever? How many of your hive have evolved so far?”

“About forty percent, I’d say. There would be more, but I can only spare so many to do duties in Ponyville where they can get the necessary emotional sustenance to bring them to the point where they can evolve.”

“Maybe more can be deployed in Canterlot?” I suggested. “Carpacia’s changelings are already accepted by most of the citizens here.”

“Because of the part they played in rescuing the Elements of Harmony and defeating Chrysalis. I can only hope that the same will happen for the drones of my hive. Someday.”

“Considering how they fought in our defense, I reckon they must have earned a lot of goodwill.”

“Maybe,” Thorax replied. “Remember, most of the ordinary citizens were evacuating while my drones were staying back to fight.”

We stood in comfortable silence until a thought occurred to me. “Have you offered to elevate one of the Red Hive changelings?”

Thorax didn’t say anything, but his ears flattened onto his head.

I continued. “Are you worried about Carpacia’s reaction? Having one or more members of her hive elevated and no longer requiring a love supply—”

“I know what you meant, Prince Mark… it’s just…” He pawed the ground with a hoof. “I can’t imagine she would take the suggestion well.”

I shrugged. “Just one more perversion of the static traditions that she has already kicked to the curb. I’m not saying she will agree, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s waiting for you to offer.”

The changeling king shuffled on his hooves. His head slowly lowered until it was below my chest. “If… if you want to mention the idea to her—”

“Nope.” I shook my head. “This is one responsibility you need to take upon yourself as leader of your hive. I can’t make the offer for you, and it isn’t fair to Carpacia to not even have the option.” At his continued silence, I said, “Just tell her, in private, that you are willing to try if she determines it is worth the attempt. That way you aren’t presuming anything and the decision is entirely hers.”

Thorax lifted his head and set his mouth in a tight line. “Yes. You’re right. Thank you for reminding me, Mark. As the Ambassador to Changelings, I have a duty to all of them. I won’t shirk that responsibility.”

Shining Armor arrived just then. One of the things that I had managed to do before succumbing to sleep was unpetrifying him, Derpy, and Pharynx. Thorax’s brother had led the changeling attack on the invading forces. Of course, that had made him a prime target for one of Tempest’s petrifying balls. We hadn’t found any others who had been turned into statues, so either Tempest had a limited supply of them or else she didn’t get the opportunity to effectively use more.

Shining grinned at me. “I see that Sleeping Beauty has woken.”

“Unlike you, I didn’t get to take a rest during the battle,” I snarked back.

“You really should try it sometime – all sorts of weird things happen if you don’t get enough rest,” he replied, looking at my new horn.

That addition to my forehead had caused quite a stir among everybody, but my close friends were ribbing me mercilessly. “Maybe that’s why you haven’t gotten wings yet – Cadance is letting you slack off too much.”

“If being a parent of three foals will be as much work as I hear it is, I’ll probably get two pairs!” he said with a laugh.

I chuckled but it brought back to mind my own impending fatherhood. Things were going to change forever when our foal was born. But this wasn’t the time to dwell on that. “So – what brings you here?”

“I’ve been checking on the status of our visiting celebrities. They want to go on with their performances.”

“What?! You’re kidding?”

“Nope. All three agreed that putting on a concert would be good for the morale of the returning citizens. They want to start as soon as possible.”

I nodded thoughtfully. They had a good point. I had learned that it had taken Canterlot months to recover from the changeling invasion when Shining and Cadance had gotten married. Anything that could ameliorate that same situation happening now would definitely be beneficial.

“Trixie – want to help organize that?” I asked.

“The Great and Talented Trixie will make this concert even better than what was originally promised!” she declared, getting up on her hooves. She gave me a kiss and headed out of the tent.

“Anything else?” I asked the white stallion.

“Some relatively good news. I’ve gotten an initial military casualty list. Due to armor modifications to address deficiencies found in war games, plus the revamped training and tactics, deaths were remarkably low among the Royal Guard and E.U.P. forces. Casualties among the civilians consisted mainly of those who ignored the evacuation order and stayed to fight. Even then, there were hardly any deaths because the Storm troops were trying to capture rather than kill.”

“Yeah, they were big on taking slaves, I hear.”

Twilight trotted over. “My reports back that up. The hospitals and medics have not been as busy as we feared. We can thank Mark’s paranoia and Shining’s restructuring of the military for that.”

“It’s not paranoia if it’s true,” I pointed out. “I wish that I had been wrong though. Hopefully, there won’t be another opportunity to put those preparations to the test. This battle was still too costly” It was hard to think of all the ponies and other creatures I had saved by my insistence on improving the military when I had to look at the stark reality of those who had not been saved. The bodies of the weather team I sent out had been found. The Storm King’s troops had killed all members of Morning Glory’s squad – apparently in too much of a hurry to bother capturing them.

Shining Armor must have noticed my change of mood. He came over to me, put a forehoof on my shoulder, and gave me a sympathetic look. “My friend, you did your best but you had to learn the hard way that there would be times like these. When I started my military career, I accepted this possibility whereas you have had it thrust upon you. From what I have been told about your fight with the Storm King, you responded magnificently but now that the fight is over, you have time to think about what has happened. If you let it, you could sink into a depression that will serve nopony, let alone yourself. Focus on what you have achieved and know that your subjects are grateful. Celestia knows I had to face the same situation after Chrysalis used me.”

I gave him a half-smile. “What do you prescribe, Doctor Armor?”

He chuckled. “Continue your counseling sessions with Cadance, but that’s something for tomorrow. Come to the concert at least. There we will celebrate life and friendship. That’s the pony way.”

I’d had hooves for about three years, but sometimes I still needed to be reminded that I was a pony. It was sensible to take the advice of a friend who knew what was best for me. I turned to Twilight and Thorax. “Come on, you two. I think Canterlot needs to see all its leaders right now.”

Thorax said, “I’m not a Triarch though.”

“Don’t give me technicalities. You’re Twilight’s husband, prince consort of Equestria, and the new face of changelings everywhere. You have as much right to stand beside us as anypony.”

“What about the command post?” Twilight asked.

“It’s wherever we set ourselves down. Thorax’s drones and our Royal Guards can direct anyone to go there.” I looked around to Spike, Starlight, and Penny. “Let’s go everybody – let’s show Equestria that we stand strong together!”

It was a great concert. Although not exactly what had been planned due to the mess made by the invasion, I believed it was better for the spirits that were lifted and I could feel the magic of Harmony flowing through the crowd. We even had fireworks which hadn’t been part of the original plans. What was most surprising was their source. Tempest Shadow was standing by my wife, firing off bursts of raw magic from her broken horn which exploded high in the air above us. She gave me an almost shy smile when she noticed me watching.

“I told you I’d show you what I was truly capable of doing, didn’t I?” she said.

I nodded in approval. I knew that many would be baying for Tempest’s head but I had learned that it was better to make allies than corpses. While I wasn’t about to blindly accept her change of heart, I had confidence that she had the potential to be quite an asset for Equestria in the future.

The show ended with an impromptu performance of all three divas on stage. They alternately traded off and blended their voices in magnificent… well… harmony. That last performance brought the house down!

I said to Twilight, “Congratulations on the success of your festival.”

She looked at me as if I was insane. “How could you say that, Mark?”

I waved a hoof at the madly cheering crowd. “Just look at them. Ponies, griffons, dragons, changelings, hippogriffs, and others all bonding. The invasion was awful, but they all banded together to defend the city, and now they’re reveling in their victory also together. I think we’ve achieved a lot towards spreading friendship between different races today.”

Twilight looked at the happy pandemonium around herself for a moment and then smiled. “You may be right. That makes it a doubly good reason to celebrate.”

Trixie came over to give me a nuzzle, then she pulled back to look at me keenly. “Are you trying to grow some kind of weird moustache, Dowser?”

I gave her a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?”

She reached up a hoof to touch my cheek where I had been injured. It felt curiously padded. I brought up my right foreleg to feel the spot and felt thick hair there. I also noticed huge tufts of my green coat hanging off my raised leg. “What the buck?!”

Every spot that had been treated by Twilight’s experimental miracle cure experienced rapid hair growth for five days! I had to shave my face with shears. The next morning, I tripped over a tangle of hair flowing down my leg. I had four-foot feathers sticking awkwardly out of my right wing. I might have accepted Twilight’s apologies for the unanticipated side-effect of her treatment if only she could have stopped giggling and wiped that grin off of her face!

During his trial, the Storm King ignored the Triarchs, his defense attorney, the prosecutor, and anypony else present. All five days, he chose to fall asleep in his cage while Moon Dancer did her best to represent his interests. Time was allotted for those who suffered the loss of loved ones to address the court, though the yeti paid them no more attention. The senior remaining dragon representative recalled the life accomplishments of Wing Shredder, emphasizing his valor and success against the Storm King’s troops before he was brought down. After completing the eulogy, the dragon leaned toward the prisoner’s cage and uttered an oath in the draconian tongue. That drew the one and only reaction from the Storm King over the course of the week – a brief smile. I turned to ask Spike what it meant, but he had covered his mouth and ran out of the throne room. I glanced at Twilight to see if she could help, but her wide eyes and pale face made me reconsider. Perhaps it was better not to know.

Once the trial was finished, I volunteered to deliver the verdict to the Storm King after he awoke. I walked into the top level of the Canterlot Castle dungeons. Twenty Royal Guards and a half-dozen mages surrounded the cage where my former opponent lounged, examining his claws with a frown. He was wearing black shorts sewn for him by Rarity and sported an eye patch over his right eye socket. His eyebrows rose as his remaining eye looked me up and down.

I stopped a few feet away from the cell – well within arm’s length if he chose to reach through the bars.

He spoke for the first time since his defeat. “You don’t really believe you can prevent me from taking my revenge, do you, cute little pony?” He yawned, showing all his fangs. “I’m just that good!”

“Since you couldn’t be bothered to stay awake earlier, I thought I’d tell you the verdict now that you’re well-rested.” Ignoring his eye-roll, I said, “You’ve been found guilty of all charges and sentenced to banishment to Tartarus, where you will spend the rest of your days. The nature of the place prevents you from feeling hunger or thirst. Instead, you will have plenty of time to reflect on your crimes.”

The yeti waggled a finger. “MistAAAAaaaaake. You know I’m not going to be reformed during the few sleepless nights you can hold me. Better to go with what you recommended to your co-rulers and give me a one-way train ticket to the afterlife – no exchanges, no returns.” He gave me a knowing smile. “But you couldn’t convince the softies, could you?”

My turn for a knowing smile. “But what would be the purpose of that? You would have to be a threat, which you are not. In the unlikely event that you eventually escape, all of your conquered lands will be used to their freedom and will have Equestria’s help to keep it that way.”

He laughed. “Oh, I wasn’t talking about that. My empire comes later.” The yeti showed me all of his fangs. “First, I have another matter to attend to. You see, I always keep my word, and I made you a promise regarding your friends.”

It was my turn to show him all of my teeth. “I look forward to that day. Then I won’t have to hold back.”

The Storm King fell onto his back, clutching his stomach as he convulsed with laughter. After a minute or so, he rolled back to a crouch and placed his hands on the bars. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see guards take a step forward. I also saw a mage’s horn start to glow.

“I take personal offense at your threat to my life, cute little pony. I can’t be satisfied until—”

I cut him off. “Oh, I wasn’t threatening your life. Not one bit. No, I’d rather take your other eye. Just use my telekinetic magic to rip it right out of its socket. I just can’t be satisfied until I have a matching set, you see.” Unicorn magic didn’t work that way, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. Instead, it was my turn to give a carnivorous smile.

The Storm King smirked and tapped his chin. “Well, well, well. We will just have to wait and see which of us is a liar, won’t we?”

I turned around and trotted away, calling over my shoulder. “Wait and see? Only one of us will.”

Two days later, Trixie and I heard a knock on the door to our suite.

My beloved said, “It isn’t quite the season yet, Mismark Clienteles. Trixie doesn’t mind you calling up a paramour, but your timing could use some work.”

I chuckled and gave my smiling wife a kiss. Though I didn’t know who it could be at this hour, they had to have a valid reason to interrupt our private time, otherwise our guards would have intervened.

Opening the door, I recognized the pony immediately. Mystic Confluence was one of the senior members of the Guild of Mages and could only be here for one reason. She said, “Your Highness, the temporal distortion preventing access to the bottom level of the dungeons has dissipated at last. All beings are accounted for. You wished to be informed.”

I did. The last-ditch safeguard was triggered during the Storm King’s attack. Apparently, the senior guardspony Ebon Blade determined that the risk to his charges had been great enough to energize the artifact that displaced the entire level of the dungeon in time. While an hour would pass for the guards and prisoners, approximately a week would elapse for the rest of us. “Approximately” turned out to be a little over nine days. Not even Discord could penetrate the boundary layer of temporal interference.

I turned to Trixie while I reached for my circlet crown. “Might as well get this over with.”

She came up and nuzzled me. “Would you like me to come with you for moral support, Dowser? After all, it is unlikely she has any.”

I snorted. “Our prize prisoner certainly has morals. You just have to understand where she’s coming from.” I gave Trixie a kiss then a gentle pat on her distended barrel. “I’ll be back soon.”

At the entrance to the dungeons, I personally thanked Ebon Blade for his quick judgment and the rest of the team for their service. They had been relieved of duty after their re-emergence into our time stream. I ordered them to take three days’ paid leave to catch up on events. That got me a round of cheers. Then I recommended they celebrate their good fortune of receiving nine days of overtime pay by Royal Decree. That got a much louder reaction and I got a sore barrel from all the back-slaps I received.

A few minutes later, after exchanging pleasantries with Flim and Flam, I was standing outside the familiar cell of our captive changeling queen. She decided to ignore me while continuing the endless scarf that draped around the entire chamber.

Chrysalis blinked a few times and frowned. After finishing a row she looked up. Her eyes widened and she glanced just above my eyes, then she scowled. “If you mean to upset me by wearing—”

I said, “The Changeling Stone which was instrumental in my defeating the Storm King.”

She continued, “… my favorite piece of jewelry. Ever.” Chrysalis got up and walked to stand in front of the doorway, her chains clinking along the ground behind her. The changeling queen stood quietly, an expectant look on her face.

She hadn’t commented on my new appendage. Chrysalis only cared about her revenge. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything different. “The Storm King has been sentenced to imprisonment in Tartarus.” I waited but got no reaction. “If you wish, you can be sent there as well. I’ll even authorize you two sharing the same cell.”

Chrysalis showed me all of her fangs, reminding me more than a bit of the condemned yeti. Weren’t they a great match for each other?

I said, “I had the area of the prison scouted by changelings. They confirmed that the magic that sustains ponies, centaurs, yetis, and other creatures there does not do so for changelings. You would be responsible for procuring your own nourishment.” The queen’s smile fell. I continued. “Perhaps you could coax love from the Storm King, Tirek, or the various creatures that are likewise imprisoned there.”

Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips, then retreated to the center of her cell. She once again picked up her knitting and ignored me.

I turned around and trotted up the hallway.

Once I had reached the next level, Penumbra glided up beside me. “In the mood to twist the knife a bit, are we?”

I shrugged. “She wanted the chance. I gave it to her. I let Chrysalis decide if it was worth the price. Obviously, it wasn’t. Her choice, not mine.”

“Hmmm. Yeah. I noticed how she didn’t complain.” The next minute or so was spent in silence.

Penny looked at me with a smirk. “Still, it would have been entertaining to see those two in the same cage, or in the same room for that matter.”

“Maybe,” I said. “Like you, I can’t imagine any such reunion would last very long.”

I think it was the sliver of moonlight falling on my eyes that woke me. Glancing at the clock with its softly glowing dial, I saw that it was a little before dawn, yet I felt not even a tiny bit sleepy anymore. I was wide awake and knew I wasn’t going back to sleep again, so I decided to get out of bed. Carefully extricating myself from my wife’s limbs, I managed to slip out of the covers without waking her.

With just the tiny amount of lunar illumination peeking through the curtains to guide me, I made my way to the balcony door. I brushed aside the hangings and stepped out, closing the door behind me. The moon was almost full and I could see well enough now, so I made my way over to the railing without tripping over any furniture. Rearing up, I placed my forelegs over the railing and looked at the scenery.

To my left, I could see the main square where the Storm King’s invasion had started weeks ago. Repairs had been completed and the entire area looked as it always had, at least under the moonlight. By day, it was more obvious what was replaced if you knew where to look.

Ahead of me and to the south, the valley that Mount Canterhorn overlooked was partially lit although the lowering moon’s light was starting to be blocked by the high mountain ranges to the west. In the shadows, I could see points of light – isolated farmhouses whose occupants were already preparing for the day’s work. Further south, a cluster of lights in the distance showed the location of Ponyville. I thought I could see moonbeams glistening off Twilight’s castle too. It was all very serene and beautiful.

“Hello, Equestria,” I said softly. “Thank you for welcoming me into your world. I never knew what I was missing before Harmony decided I was needed here. Oh, I know I was pissed off at first, but I didn’t realize how much I needed more friends and to get out of the comfortable rut that I had made for myself. I only thought that I was happy back then, but you showed me I could be so much more. And I’ve grown too. I never would have believed that I could be a leader but here I am, co-ruler of the greatest country on Equus. In that time, I’ve changed from a bumbling pegasus to a competent pegacorn – how much more do you have planned for me?”

I chuckled a bit. “I suppose I’ll find out in good time. I think I’m up to the challenge though. I just wanted to say… thanks. Thank you for my new life. Thank you for my beautiful wife and wonderful friends. And thank you for the child that will soon make my life complete.”

“Talking to the world again, Dowser?”

I turned to see Trixie in the balcony doorway. I smiled at how gorgeous she looked in the moonlight. “You know how I get philosophical at times like these, Lulu. Anyway, shouldn’t you be asleep still? You need your rest.”

“The bed felt empty without you. It woke me up.”

I walked over to the broad bench seat and jumped up onto the cushions. Patting a spot beside me, I said, “Care to join me here instead?”

She nodded and climbed up, somewhat less agile due to her gravid belly. She had to lie on her side to be comfortable but she leaned on me for support. I put a wing over her barrel to help keep her warm. As a pegasus, even one with a horn, I didn’t even notice the coolness of the pre-dawn air but I knew she would quickly feel it.

“This is nice,” she said, snuggling up closer to me.

“Mmm, yes, I agree.” I kissed her.

We stayed like that for a while before Trixie spoke up again.

“Which do you think will happen first – the birth of our foal or the dedication ceremony marking the completion of the throne room remodeling?”

I snorted. “Knowing our luck, you’ll probably go into labor the moment of the big event.”

Trixie giggled. “Cadance has done that already, remember? Besides, at the rate the contractors are going, Trixie suspects she won’t get the chance to preside in it for months.”

“I think they’re trying to come up with something to match the awesomeness of Discord’s gravity-defying fountain on the ceiling.”

“Thanks for keeping that. Trixie finds it amusing.”

“It’ll probably make a certain draconequus happy too.”

We lapsed into silence for a little while before Trixie spoke up again.

“Twilight Sparkle asked if I would be interested in playing a role in her new School of Friendship.”

“She did? In what capacity?”

“That hasn’t been decided yet, although Trixie suggested that she would need a headmare.”

“And when would you have time to do a second full-time job? Or do you plan to give up princessing?”

“Don’t be silly, Dowser. It can’t be that hard after running a nation.”

Somehow I doubted it would be that simple, but Twilight’s pet project was months away from fruition and much would change between now and then. It would be interesting to see how a special school where part of the curriculum specifically dealt with learning about friendship would fare. However, I agreed with the alicorn that the current goodwill among the various races needed to be capitalized upon. Nevertheless, there was still a lot that could be done beforehand, especially in light of all the new species we had to deal with as a result of temporarily annexing all of the Storm King’s former conquered territories.

“Don’t forget how busy we’ll be for the foreseeable future. We’re going to have to spend years propping up some of the countries and cities that suffered most under the Storm King’s domination. I think you should devote your spare time to our family for a while.”

My wife sighed. “Trixie supposes you’re right.”

I nuzzled her and said, “Don’t worry, Lulu – I’ll always be there by your side. I really am looking forward to being a father.”

“Are you nervous, darling?”

“Terrified. Utterly out of my depth,” I admitted.

“Trixie too. Just a little.”

“Good thing we’re doing this together and have so many friends to help us.”

The moon suddenly accelerated toward the western horizon, setting with the haste that was typical of this magical world. We looked over to the east which rapidly brightened with the approach of the sun. Silhouetted against the dawn light was Twilight who was standing on another balcony attached to her suite. Her horn was glowing as she used her alicorn power to raise the solar orb. Perhaps she wasn’t the smoothest yet, but she was getting better every day. I think she actually found it harder to get out of bed at this early hour than taking over responsibility for raising and setting the sun and the moon from the Guild of Mages.

Twilight had really grown into her role. With all the changes that had happened to me, I wondered if I would have to face something similar someday. That was a problem for future me though. Right now, I concentrated on snuggling and loving the mare beside me.

After several minutes of intimate silence, Trixie said, “Dowser?”

“Yes, darling?”

“I think my water just broke.”

Hoo boy!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

END OF BOOK TWO!

But fear not – Book Three begins next chapter. :twilightsmile:

Sorry that it took so long to get this chapter up. However, we were waiting for the final piece of art by Pinefool to close out Book Two.
Mark's bad hair day picture is by Foxenawolf.

If you've enjoyed the story so far, please consider sending a tip to the authors and buy us a Ko-fi.

Chapter 70 - New Generation

BOOK THREE – "ON THE MARK"

When I first arrived in Equestria, I felt frightened by my unexpected transformation into a small green-coated winged pony but fought through it as best I could. Despite my abundance of caution for high places (no, I’m not going to call it ‘fear of heights’), I persevered through countless injuries and embarrassments until I mastered the aerial element. When I battled Tirek, I knew there was a good chance that I would be killed, but despite the worst case of butterflies in the world, I still faced him. Then there was the time that Starlight almost murdered me which left me trembling despite fighting her off. And, of course, I was scared nearly out of my mind when I attacked the Storm King knowing that I was overmatched. But nothing compared to the heart-freezing terror that gripped me when my wife said those six little words:

“I think my water just broke.”

It’s not as if we hadn’t prepared for this moment. A mare giving birth is hardly a novelty in this world. It’s just that this mare was my wife and she was about to go into labor and give birth to our first child. I admit that I froze up for a moment. A sharp poke in my chest made me jump though.

“Did you hear Trixie?”

“Yes, love. You caught me by surprise. Just relax while I get things rolling.”

I gave Trixie a kiss, got off the bench seat, and headed for the door to our suite. Opening it, I found that the morning shift had already taken over. Penumbra was there and she raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Aren’t you up a little early? It doesn’t even look like you’ve groomed yourself.”

“We have a code F,” I replied.

Penny’s eyes opened wide. “Oh! On it!” She shot down the corridor in a blur.

“Code F, Your Highness?” queried one of the door guards, alert to a possible problem.

I gave him a nervous smile. “F for foal. Princess Trixie is going into labor.”

“I see, sir. I presume to expect several visitors?”

“You better believe it!” I replied fervently.

I retreated into the suite and opened all the curtains to give us plenty of light. I then prepared our bed with a waterproof sheet and extra pillows. I got that done just before our maid Whisk Broom came in. She wrung her hooves a couple of times, giving me only a brief disappointed glance for finishing her task before she had the chance to do so. The mare then bowed quickly and left.

With the bed ready, I went back outside and reassured Trixie that everything was underway. Grateful that I now had a horn in my stallion form, I lifted my wife in its telekinetic field and levitated her inside, making her comfortable on the bed. I then fetched a glass of water for her, brought over a jar of cookies, poured her something to drink, drew one curtain to get the sun out of her face, and got her a glass of water.

There was a perfunctory knock on the door which opened even before I responded. A portly yellow unicorn mare with a blue and white mane stepped inside and I gave a relieved sigh.

“Thanks for coming so promptly, Calming Hooves.”

She gave me an amused smile. “As Princess Trixie’s midwife, I am rather obliged to be prompt if only to help her by calming down the expectant father.”

My wife snorted and stifled a laugh. “Trixie thinks you have your work cut out for you.” Her eyes indicated the three tumblers of water by the bedside, all untouched.

I honestly didn’t recall fetching any of them.

Calming Hooves nodded with a knowing smile as she went over to her patient. “Relax, Your Highness. It’s far too soon to be stressing yourself out like this. You need to be calm and ready for when Princess Trixie needs you the most.” She proceeded to examine Trixie while I immediately forgot what it was she said.

Thankfully, Steady Flight turned up right then. “May I come in, sir?”

I nodded, glad of the company. “Come in, Steady, and drop the ‘sir’. I need a friend right now, not my valet.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” he said as he came over to my side. “I was seven years old when my eldest sister had her first foal. Despite having five children, this was Dad’s first grandfoal and he was a nervous wreck. I never thought I’d be the one giving emotional support to my father.”

“Do you think I’m a nervous wreck?”

“Not yet, but I see the signs.”

“Gah! We planned for this! The pregnancy has been trouble-free. There’s absolutely no reason for me to be so worried.”

“Yep, but you’re plagued by the ‘what-ifs’ right now, aren’t you?”

I nodded guiltily.

Steady turned to the midwife. “Hey, Calming – how long before Mark is needed?”

“Not for a long while yet, judging by the signs. Do us both a favor and get some breakfast into Prince Mark. Maybe a stiff drink too. I’ll send word when you’re needed.”

“But what if Trixie needs something?” I asked.

“My assistant, Nurse Gentle Touch, should be here soon and will be able to provide help as needed.”

“What about breakfast for my wife? Can she even have breakfast?”

“I sent your bodyguard to the kitchen to let them know to send a light meal up to this suite.”

Steady put a foreleg around my withers and gave me a gentle pull. “Come on, Mark – let’s get from under hoof.”

I allowed myself to be dragged out of the room, resisting just long enough to say, “Love you, Lulu!”

Penny met me in the hallway and we made our way to the dining room where we found Twilight already halfway through her breakfast. One thing about the mare had not changed with the ascension to alicornhood or her elevation to Princess of the Realm: her table manners still left much to be desired.

Through a mouthful of food she said, “Good morning, Mark. I’m told that Trixie’s gone into labor.”

“Yeah. Well, actually, her water has broken. I don’t think she’s started contractions yet. I think. I dunno.”

“Sit down and have something to eat. It’ll be a while, so no point in worrying over it just yet.”

I sat down at the table and a servant hastened up to take my order.

“I’m not really hungry,” I said.

Twilight just rolled her eyes and said, “He’ll have two eggs over easy with hay-bacon, four pancakes with extra maple syrup, and a café latte.”

The servant nodded and left for the kitchen. I arched a querying eyebrow at the alicorn.

“You’re going to be hungry and you’ll need your strength to support Trixie later.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I grumbled. “When do you think you’re going to have your foal? You’ll have to take all of Trixie’s court duties for a while.”

Twilight shrugged. “We still don’t know when I’m due. The hybrid nature of the foal throws the rulebook out the window. We already determined long ago that I won’t be laying an egg like Chryssy, but other than that, we have nothing to go by. All we know is that the foal seems to be healthy so far. There’s never been any situation like this before in the recorded history of either of our species.”

“I suppose not. Heck, even though I encouraged Thorax to ask you to marry him, I admit I was as surprised as everypony else that he was able to give you a foal. I assumed the sterility of his drone form carried over to his elevation to princedom… princehood?” I shook my head. “I know that Shining and Chryssy from the other dimension have had several foals, but their roles were reversed and the biology slightly different.”

Twilight chuckled. “Neither of us expected Thorax to be virile, either. Otherwise, I might not have gotten pregnant at all that Season. We thought we were pretty safe in that regard.”

“That seems most unlike you, Twi. You don’t normally leave those things to chance or wishful thinking. Methinks you subconsciously, at least, wanted a foal.”

The alicorn shrugged. “I won’t argue with you because I’m happy that I was wrong.”

I smiled. “You were such an unlikely couple but you’ve proven over and over again how much you two care for each other. It’s easy to see how an emotivore like Thorax can fall deeply for someone who loves him like you do, but I have never quite grasped how you came to do the same for him.”

A distant dreamy look came into Twilight’s eyes. “It’s something that you have to experience for yourself. First of all, he is intensely loyal and dedicated to his friends, which appeals to me. And while it’s true that I found him interesting and fun to be with, it’s the sheer intensity of a changeling’s emotions that make the difference. When I say that I feel immersed in his love, it’s not just hyperbole. The more time we spent together, the more intense the feeling became. In the end, it was impossible not to love him.”

“So, you’re a love junkie,” I concluded with a smirk.

Twilight giggled. “I suppose I am. If it wasn’t for the fact that we already shared so many interests and goals, I’d have to say I married him because I was addicted to his love. However, that was just the icing on the cake. He’s been a wonderful and supportive husband despite our differences and responsibilities.”

The servant came back just then with a tray laden with the food that Twilight had ordered for me. I suddenly realized that I was hungry and started to tuck into it. As I chewed on the first mouthful, it occurred to me that the alicorn had been keeping me preoccupied to prevent me from worrying about what was happening upstairs. Clever girl. Let’s see if she was this calm and collected when it came time to give birth to her and Thorax’s foal!

Mmm… this hay-bacon is especially good this morning.

Of course, the moment that I got word that I was needed at our suite, my nerves came crashing back again. I galloped all the way there, offending the sensibilities of the more staid palace staff, no doubt. Trixie had gone into full labor and wanted me by her side, so I took one of her hooves in mine, stroked her mane, and did all the other things a helpless stallion could do while his mate did all the real work. Fortunately, I recalled the example of Fluttershy helping Cadance during the pink alicorn’s labor to go by: lots of encouragement and always keeping a soothing tone, regardless of how much my stomach was doing flips.

I suppose I could tell you about all the cliché things that occur during childbirth such as the moans of pain, the cursing of the sire, and the bone-crushing grip on my foreleg during contractions, but throughout it all, Calming Hooves reassured us that everything was proceeding perfectly. Nevertheless, it was an immense relief to both of us when the first cries of the newborn foal reached our ears and the midwife made her announcement.

“Congratulations! You are now the parents of a beautiful unicorn filly.”

I was so happy for Trixie as she had gotten the child that she had hoped for. Maybe a son for me next time although I didn’t think that my wife would be in a hurry to go through this again soon. The filly was still a little slick with birth fluids and Calming swaddled her in a small blanket before passing her to Trixie. Although my wife was tired and frazzled from labor, she nevertheless looked proudly at her unicorn daughter. We could both get a good look at her now. She had a bright yellow coat and her little mop of mane was green like me but with a mauve stripe through it. She was the cutest thing I had seen in my entire life!

“You did well, Dowser,” Trixie said quietly.

“We both did, Lulu,” I replied, kissing her on the cheek.

Calming Hooves gave us a few more moments before saying, “We still need to deal with the afterbirth. Gentle Touch will take your foal to Doctor Bellows in the meantime. He’ll give her a thorough check-up, shots, and booster spells before bringing her back.”

Trixie was reluctant to let the foal go but I gently pried her out of my wife’s grasp while murmuring reassurances. Gentle Touch was a cream-colored unicorn mare with bright orange hair and the kindest eyes I had ever seen. The nurse carried the foal in the glow of her magic into the living room where the doctor had been waiting in case he was needed. From there, I heard him instruct her to place my foal onto his portable examination table.

I rubbed my chin. Hmm… we’re going to have to start thinking of a name for our child. Don’t want to keep referring to our child as “the foal” all the time.

Childbirth is messy and it took a little while to finish up and replace the bedding. The nurse returned shortly after we were done and Trixie was starting to get a bit impatient. The look on the mare’s face as she approached us changed that to dread.

“What happened?” I demanded. “Is there something wrong with our foal?”

“No, the foal is perfectly healthy,” she hastened to reassure us. “It’s just that… well… see for yourselves.”

She drew back the blanket to reveal a pegasus colt with a pale bluish-green coat and mauve mane with a green stripe.

“That’s not my daughter!” exclaimed Trixie.

“I… I know,” Gentle Touch protested. “But one moment she’s on the scales as we measured her birth weight, and the next moment, this colt was in her place.”

We stared in disbelief at the incredible story. If it wasn’t for the colt’s mane which was an exact reversal of the filly’s, I would have dismissed it instantly. “Let me have the foal,” I ordered, extricating him from the nurse’s grasp. When he was in my forelegs, I looked at him closely. He was the son that I had been wishing for, no doubt about that. He opened his eyes and looked at me and I saw that his left eye was green while the right was blue. He burbled happily and I was both charmed and confused. “Who are you?” I asked softly.

There was a brief flash of light and suddenly I held a yellow unicorn filly in my hooves. The heterochromic eyes never left me.

“Umm… Lulu…” I held out the foal to Trixie and her jaw dropped and eyes bulged.

Almost snatching her from my grasp, Trixie took the filly and brought her into an embrace. She sniffed her scent and declared, “This is our foal!” She nuzzled and crooned at the filly who giggled in response.

I looked at the midwife for answers but she looked equally perplexed. Then the foal began to squirm and appeared to be looking for something. Trixie eventually relaxed her hold and the filly made a beeline for my wife’s udders and started suckling hungrily.

“Well, at least that is normal,” I said.

There was another flash and there was now a colt feeding at his mother’s teats.

“But that can’t possibly be,” I added.

Trixie gave me a flat look. “If there was even a shred of doubt before, there’s no possibility that my foal was sired by anypony but you, Dowser.”

I shrugged, conceding the point. Now that I thought about it, I recognized the effect from looking in the mirror when I transferred to my Marklestia form and back, though the burst of light was brighter with my foal. Given my unusual nature, it seemed the most likely explanation for what had to be an unprecedented situation.

We watched the foal feed for a while, mulling over the situation. Eventually, I said, “It seems that we both got the child that we wished for. He… she… they are going to cause quite a stir.”

“Trixie thinks you are the Prince of Understatement. What are we going to name… them?”

A word suddenly sprang to mind. “How about Gemini?”

The colt switched back to a filly. Trixie looked at her while she considered my question. “Trixie assumes this name is from your home? Is it associated with a being possessing a dual nature?”

“An ancient god, actually.”

My wife smirked. “You don’t like setting your expectations for our child low do you, Dowser?” She looked thoughtful for a long moment before eventually nodding with approval. “It suits them. Trixie just hopes our foal will settle down to one form for more than a minute at a time, otherwise, they are going to have an awkward childhood.”

“I think we should hold off the public announcement of the birth until we know a little more about Gemini.”

“A wise idea, Birthmark Bombshells.”

My mouth twisted in a smirk. “Twilight is going to have a hard time topping this!”

A smile crept onto my wife’s face. She carefully leaned over to give me a kiss. “You always know what to say to make Trixie feel better, Dowser.”

Thankfully, Gemini settled down into one gender for more than a minute at a time although changing who was holding them often prompted a switch. Nevertheless, when we settled them down that evening, they were a filly for the rest of the night.

Twilight was amazed to put it mildly. Trixie burst out laughing at her co-ruler’s unintentional impression of a fish out of water. Some research later confirmed what we already believed – Gemini was unique in the history of Equestria, changelings naturally excepted. We had fraternal twins in one body and it was going to be an adventure finding out what that meant for our first foal. And they definitely weren’t going to be the last if my wife’s words had any weight.

As we stood gazing at the peacefully sleeping Gemini, my mate nuzzled me and said, “Trixie would have been disappointed if our foal wasn’t unique and she wonders what our next will be like.”

Me too, darling. Me too.

Unsurprisingly, Trixie succumbed to tiredness and I left her enjoying a sound sleep. My wife insisted that our newborn stay in the room with her but we had the nurse there to keep watch over both of them. Hopefully, Gemini would not disturb their mother too soon.

Meanwhile, with Twilight taking care of Day Court all day, I was pretty free for the moment. Calming Hooves last piece of advice to me before she left was to take every opportunity to rest, or even sleep. For the first few weeks with the new foal, I would be finding precious little time for either. No, not even with a castle full of servants to help, she insisted. Recalling Shining Armor’s bleary-eyed countenance after the birth of Flurry Heart, I decided not to argue. There was one thing that I had to do first, however.

There were a number of ponies who were eagerly awaiting news of the birth. Since there were only the midwife and her assistant in the room with us then, word had not got out as yet. Penny tried to pry an answer out of me the moment that I stepped out of my suite. Thankfully, good sound insulation defeated even batpony hearing. I merely smiled and told her that she would have to wait until I rounded up a few more of our friends. I found Steady Flight, Starlight Glimmer, Raven Inkwell, and Crimson Boulder in the sunroom where we liked to gather informally. All eyes turned to me and Penny punched me in the shoulder.

“Okay, spit it out!” the batpony demanded.

“Mother and foal are both doing well,” I said with a proud smile.

“Unicorn or pegasus?” Steady asked.

“Is it a colt or a filly?” Starlight added.

“Yes,” I replied with a grin.

There was a moment of puzzled silence before Steady said, “I know that you’re probably worn out and not thinking straight, but those were either/or questions, Mark.”

“Are you quite sure about that?” My grin grew wider.

“Wait! Trixie didn’t have twins, did she?” Raven asked. “There wasn’t a hint of that beforehoof though.”

“Mark said, ‘mother and foal’ singular,” Starlight pointed out.

I said, “Quite correct – only one foal, and they are doing well.”

Crimson narrowed his gaze at me. “You’re dancing around with words, aren’t you? Fine. If you want to play that game, I’ll remind you about it next training session.”

Oops! No thanks! “Okay, you got me. But after the surprise that Trixie and I got, I thought it only fair to spread the joy. The truth is – yes – is the correct answer.” I back-winged out of reach before Starlight could punch me. Sorry, Glim-Glam – I saw that coming a mile away! Pity I missed Crimson though. Gah! So that’s what the floor tasted like.

“Speak plain Equish or I’ll see how far I can bend this leg.”

“Penny – you’re supposed to be protecting me!” I protested.

She gave me a flat look. “Your best defense is to do as he asks,” she advised.

“But I’ve been telling the truth all this time! URK! Okay! Okay! The foal is a shape-changer! They’re both a unicorn filly and a pegasus colt.”

The room turned totally silent for a long moment before Starlight started howling with laughter. Steady just shook his head in disbelief.

“Only you, Mark. This could only happen to you.”

“Gotta agree with you,” I said as I got back to my hooves after Crimson released me. “But at least I should be able to look forward to both playing hoofball with them and trying out Rarity’s latest fashions together.”

Aside from our foal’s unique trick, they proved to be like any other newborn pony. The biggest problem we had was keeping a magic surge suppressor on Gemini when they were in unicorn form because it would fall off whenever they switched into a pegasus. Having seen what Flurry Heart did to the Crystal Castle, we were in no hurry to find out if Gemini could be equally destructive to Canterlot. Upon learning of this problem, Twilight teleported to her parent’s house and, sure enough, they were able to lend us a spare regulating hairclip. They kept it “just in case their granddaughter needed an emergency spare.” Sure, our foal wasn’t an alicorn, but we weren’t taking any chances.

Once Gemini’s shape-changing had settled down into long periods in one form, we decided to make the formal announcement of the royal birth and made arrangements for a reception for friends and family. Cadance and Shining brought along Flurry and Button, of course, along with the changeling nanny that they had acquired. One of the evolved drones from Thorax’s hive had expressed an interest in a career in foal care. Cadance had heard about it and took her on as an example of cooperation with the changeling race. This relieved Sunburst of part of the burden that the role of Crystaller put upon him, enabling him to resume his studies. Although, I heard that Twilight wanted to talk with him about another role now that Flurry Heart was old enough.

However, it wasn’t any of our Crystal Empire guests whom I most wanted to see. Eventually, Fluttershy turned up with a certain draconequus known for his pranks. I wasted no time in introducing him to our unusual child who obligingly changed as we spoke.

I said, “Discord. This kind of phenomenon is not completely unknown to me. One of my elementary school classmates had a cat with an even split between black and calico coloration on her face. It’s called a chimera cat. Two sets of genes in one body.” I put on my most serious face. “Would you care to explain, Resident Chimera?”

Discord chuckled, though only after a nervous glance to Fluttershy. “Oh, I had nothing to do with this, Mark. You can’t think to blame me for whatever mixed-up soup of genetics is floating around in your body, now can you? Heck, after the Chaos Heart incident—”

Cadance interrupted. “Flurry Heart.”

“— yes, that one. Anyway, I had my bits on an alicorn mare with a green coat and teal eyes.” He frowned and looked down at our foal. “Pity. I got good odds, too.”

I took advantage of his distraction to catch Trixie’s eye and give her a wink. Crossing my forelegs across my chest, I said in a dark tone. “No. I’m asking if you had a much more active role in providing a chimera’s genetic material to my wife.”

“What?!” Discord’s head spun to face me and a few smaller Discords fell out of his ears, screeching the same thing, though in a higher pitch.

Trixie gasped. “Oh no! He knows!”

“WHAT?!” The draconequus’ head kept spinning around until it was looking at my wife again.

“It’s alright, darling. We’ll make it work somehow. Our love-foal will not be without the love it needs, no matter what happens,” she said passionately.

Fluttershy suppressed a grin long enough to let out a cute whine and say, “Oh, Discord. How could you?”

“WHAAAAAAT?!”

Discord’s head spun around another 270 degrees until he was looking at his marefriend. At that point, his neck had twisted around too far for him to keep his balance and he toppled over.

Everypony lost it and we all laughed. Discord picked himself up... literally... glaring at me while dusting himself off with a feather duster. “Hmmmph. One more mark in the ‘Mark’ column for you, Mister. Just for that, I won’t be taping your foal announcement card to that mirror for your buddy back home.”

All Fluttershy had to do was clear her throat behind her coltfriend to make him cringe.

“... until next week,” he finished.

While we all had a good laugh about it, I was slightly disappointed that Discord didn’t have any insights beyond what we had figured out for ourselves. Time would tell if we would learn more, I supposed. And while some of the nobles were aghast at Gemini’s odd nature, at least this royal foal would have no problems sitting on the throne as a Princess to satisfy the conservative members of the elite.

The guessing game as to when Twilight would give birth ended three weeks and four days after Gemini’s arrival. As with Trixie’s labor, Twilight just had Thorax in the room with midwife and assistant, so I waited along with everypony else to find out what the foal would turn out to be. Unlike my child, Twilight’s was expected to be some unique mixture of characteristics of its parents’ two species.

The birth was quick. Calming Hooves suspected that the foal instinctively assisted to make it easier. Because of this, Twilight was nowhere near as tired as Trixie had been and she and Thorax invited us to come into the suite to see their new son.

There was no mistaking the foal’s dual heritage. He had a coat of green fur a couple of shades lighter than mine, but that stopped halfway down his legs which were encased in shiny purple chitin. His wings were purple too and had features of both pegasus structure and dragonfly wing “feathers”. From his father’s heritage, the foal got a slightly jagged horn shape, compound eyes the shade of amethyst, and a beaming smile. But the most telling trait from his mother was the color of his mane and tail. They were the same shades of dark blue streaked with red as found in Twilight’s tresses.

“What’s his name, Mama?” Nyx asked, staring fascinatedly at the foal.

“We’ve decided to call him Regis Novellus,” Twilight said proudly.

Ah, book-pony – never change!

After a long debate, Applejack and Steady Flight had split the pot for ‘Best guess as to what Trixie and Mark’s foal will look like.” After a perfunctory discussion, it was unanimously decided that no one was remotely close in Twilight’s pool. The bits ended up going to Canterlot’s orphanage. That was quickly followed by contributions from Applejack and Steady Flight.

However, Discord was declared the overall winner with the extra entry he paid for:

“None of you will get either right.”

I bought him an Eyrish whiskey on the rocks. Igneous rocks. I think he was touched by the gesture.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Here's a sneak peek at Gemini (both forms) and Regis at about age six:

Author's Note

Two families get off to an unusual start. The foals are too young to do great things yet, but they will both make quite a difference politically speaking.

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 71 - Evolving Relationships

Pony pregnancies being ten months in Equestria, it wasn’t long before the next mating season came around. That’s when I learned that nursing mothers didn’t go into heat, so Trixie and Twilight were spared that for this year. Naturally, I was not. Twilight offered me a solution though.

“I know of a spell that induces lactation in new mothers who have trouble feeding their foals. If you’d like to share nursing duties with Trixie…?”

Somehow, I could not quite wrap my head around that idea. Nevertheless, was I being selfish not offering to share the burden with my wife? I decided that was best answered by her.

“Feeding our foal is Trixie’s job!” she told me most emphatically. “Besides, Lady Rarity would be most disappointed if you are not there for her this Season.”

I blinked several times, stunned by that bald-faced statement. I know that Trixie had been fine with sharing me with Rarity last Season, but she was effectively giving me carte blanche to be alone with my occasional marefriend. Not that Trixie had lost interest in love-making with me when we had the time (and energy!) to spare, but she had made it abundantly clear that Gemini was her priority for several months. This was one step beyond that though.

“It’s almost as if you want us to start a herd, Lulu.”

“Of course, Dowser. Rarity would make a fine addition.”

I stared at her for a long moment. “But herds are illegal,” I pointed out.

My wife gave me that flat look she reserved for when I said something particularly dense, and I knew that I had somehow stuffed up big time. Then she sighed long-sufferingly.

“Trixie sometimes forgets that you’re not born of this world, Stark Fells. To be precise, herds are not a legal form of marriage. De facto herds, though, are very common. You don’t think every unmarried mare who wants a foal raises it by herself, do you? While that’s true for some, many are in a herd relationship with a married couple and the foal is raised within the family.”

“Why haven’t I heard about this before?” I complained.

“Probably because you spend too much time among the nobility. They are the reason why herds are not a legal form of marriage.”

“And why is that?”

“You are already aware that mares have the right to ask any stallion to sire a foal with them, regardless of whether that stallion is married to another mare or not?”

I had learned long ago that the disproportionate number of mares to stallions had necessitated that practice. “Yes, but only those stallions near their status in society.”

Trixie nodded. “Yes, yes. Obviously. Usually. Well, that tradition includes the nobility, and while those stallions have the right to refuse, they frequently don’t. They are males, after all.”

I felt slighted but I couldn’t really disagree with her.

“However,” she continued, “no noble wants to have children born out of marriage having a legal claim to any form of rights peculiar to the nobility, and especially not any inheritance. Therefore, centuries ago, they successfully enshrined in law that herd relationships are not marriages. They had zero hope of banning them, but this law effectively worked around that problem. Fortunately for those already in herds, this only had the effect that the nobles desired and didn’t affect the relationships of the commoners.”

“I see. It makes sense. So, what you’re saying is that not only is a herd arrangement with Rarity not a problem, you’re encouraging it?” I queried.

“As Trixie said, Lady Rarity would make a fine herd mare for the royal family. Trixie knew that you had strong feelings for her long ago, but you chose to marry Trixie,” she replied smugly.

I admit that I was glad that Rarity and I could continue our unusual relationship, but I never expected it to be quite like this. Every time that I think I have this world figured out, I get thrown for a loop. At least I didn’t have to worry about Rainbow Dash any longer. While it had been fairly obvious that she and Applejack had a growing attraction for each other last Season, a year later, it was pretty blatant. On the surface, they still bickered, but lately, they could hardly keep their hooves off each other in public. Maybe Dash would still seek me out one day for stallion service, but until then, I was happy that she was content with her marefriend.

I said, “I won’t leave you to cope with Gemini alone since all our support is here. I’ll invite Rarity to spend the Season in Canterlot this year.”

Trixie nodded. “A fine idea. I will have the servants prepare a suite for her.”

So, that’s how I came to spend the majority of my Season with my marefriend. Trixie had seen the same thing in Rarity and me that I’d seen in Rainbow and Applejack and she approved. I have the best wife! I told Rarity about Trixie’s views on our relationship and she had to agree with my assessment. While the white unicorn still had no intention of having foals yet, becoming an official part of a herd sat well with her, and of course, with me too. I made sure to make my feelings for her well evident.

The first evening when the Season had forced my change into my Marklestia form, Rarity and I sat on the balcony of her suite looking over the lamp lit city. She was snuggled up to me and I had a wing around her while we quietly watched the night sky. Then we looked at each other, turned, and wordlessly, we kissed.

It had taken me a while to understand but I had finally realized something about myself. Or more specifically, about Marklestia. I had always thought my feelings were the same whether I was a mare or my normal stallion form, but I was mistaken. Marklestia definitely had the hots for Rarity and that feeling was certainly returned. I had been too close to the situation to recognize it but Trixie had seen it and acted for the benefit of all three of us.

When we finally broke apart, Rarity said, “I suppose that makes things official, darling.”

“Almost,” I replied. “I think we should let Trixie give us her blessing in person.”

“Should we go see her now?”

“Not if it means waking her. I’ll have a servant pass a message to Trixie to let her know we’d like to see her at a convenient moment.”

“Yes, Gemini does tire the poor dear out. She will doubtless be in a more receptive mood if she gets to choose the moment.”

“Speaking of Gemini, are you ready to be known as Auntie Rarity?” I asked with a grin.

She returned it with a smile of her own. “Part of the perks, darling.”

The Season was just the annual speed bump in our regular royal duties. With Rarity returned to her work, we triarchs settled down to the business of running Equestria again. High on the list of major projects was Twilight’s School of Friendship initiative. Unlike the alicorn’s castle, the new institution did not build itself and it needed to be completed in time for the new school year. Of course, constructing the building was only one part of the task. The biggest job was signing up students. Getting enough ponies to participate wasn’t a problem – it was all the other races that had to be persuaded that a mixed-species school was a good idea.

Aside from the obvious inclusion of some changelings from Thorax's hive, a Canterlot griffon couple decided they would send their two cubs and, with the help of Princess Gilda, Twilight managed to get a promise of a third cat-bird student from Griffonstone. Queen Novo was a lot more helpful and she was going to send two hippogriff pupils – a brother and sister. Then there was an Abyssinian, two minotaur calves – male and female, two does, a parrot, a diamond dog, a buffalo, and even a yak. Tempest Shadow arranged to have a yeti girl and a young storm beast sent to learn our culture. It took a couple of months to acquire a zebra student, but the greatest surprise was the sphinx. Although she wasn’t any older than the average pupil, she was already a lot bigger than all but one of the others. When classes started, the yak girl would take the prize for largest being on campus! Good thing she was, by all reports, super friendly. Anyway, it certainly was going to be a very diverse class when the school opened. I hoped Twilight hadn’t bitten off more than she could chew.

Naturally, there were the inevitable snags, and the biggest had the initials E.E.A. While the Triarchy was responsible for the budget and thus the financing of the construction, it turned out it also needed to be accredited by the Equestrian Education Association. Frankly, I knew next to nothing about the organization except that they were responsible for the codification and regulation of every aspect of all Equestrian schools. I was shocked when Twilight showed me the massive tome that contained every minute detail that needed to be complied with in order for the new school to gain accreditation. I had a terrible sinking feeling despite Twilight’s cheerful confidence. Anything that hidebound was not going to sit well with the alicorn’s radical new ideas. Nevertheless, this was Twilight’s baby and it was up to her to make it work. My focus was definitely much further abroad.

While it was business as usual in Equestria, the new lands in the Southern Protectorate presented regular problems. Rooting out sympathisers of the Storm King was the hardest and at the same time the most important. The former rulers of the territories and cities were still unaccounted for. They had all been replaced with leaders who had flourished under the yeti’s rule. To a being, they were resisting changing back to how each region was run before it had been invaded. However, they were difficult to extricate from their positions of power so that new leaders could be elected. It was a slow process and Tempest Shadow sometimes had to resort to military action for the most recalcitrant. That was definitely the last option on our list and we only authorized it when all else failed. Many civilians hailed our forces as heroes for liberating them, but we certainly didn’t win friends in every place. The yeti clan that birthed the Storm King had resorted to occasional guerilla-style attacks in the high mountains of South Abyssinia. Their home village had been located but all the adults had left. After the first attack on our troops there, the remaining citizens were relocated for their own safety. Now the search was underway for the warriors’ hideout.

It was one of those recently rare quiet times when my wife and I could spend a little quality time with our foal. I relaxed on a chair, watching my mate sweet talk Gemini. Trixie’s back was propped up against the headboard by a thick pillow and she had our child in her lap.

“Say my name little one. You don’t have to say ‘Great and Powerful.’ Just ‘Trix-ie’… ‘Trix-ie’.”

Our little filly gazed up at their mother and giggled.

Trixie’s smile did not change. “Let’s try ‘Mom-my’… ‘Mom-my’.”

A shift into pegasus colt form but the same delighted giggles.

I smirked. “Are you trying to be funny, dear? Because you are certainly succeeding.”

That earned me a dark glare that drew a wave of snickers from Gemini. Trixie blinked a few times then gave our little one her best scowl. Peals of laughter this time. Trixie proceeded to pull ever weirder faces which set off even more enthusiastic laughter.

I was about to warn my wife not to make Gemini die laughing when I heard many hoofsteps outside our door followed by a brief conversation. A few seconds later, somepony knocked. “Your Highnesses, Tempest Shadow has asked to give you an urgent report.”

I looked to Trixie and saw the same surprise that doubtless appeared on my face. The provisional leader of the Equestrian Southern Protectorate reported to the Triarchy on a weekly basis, always in person with the exception of last week because of an “ongoing operation.” Now she was reporting in three days early, and late in the evening.

Trixie gave me a nod, wordlessly agreeing with my thoughts. This had to be something important or dire. “Let her in, please.”

Tempest was preceded by our two door guards and four more who positioned themselves around the suite before the remaining soldiers allowed her to enter. I noted there were at least four more guards in the hallway.

“You look most fetching in your armor, Tempest,” said my wife.

Indeed, the unicorn wore a standard set of Equestrian officer’s gear, though she had not been allowed to bring in her helmet or saddlebags. Trust only went so far when it came to the welfare of royalty in their own chambers.

Tempest Shadow bowed formally. “Thank you, Your Highness. The spells woven into the breastplate saved me from a homing arrow on more than one occasion.”

“Fizz! Fizz!”

Everypony’s attention turned to Gemini, who was jumping up and down in their mother’s grasp. “Buzz! Buzz!” They pointed vaguely in the direction of the newcomer’s horn.

Tempest aka Fizzlepop put on a gentle smile and moved closer to the bed. The unicorn mare that kept legions in line with merely a disappointed frown now gave a theatrical gasp and let several colorful sparks escape her horn.

“Eeeeee! Fizz! Fizz! Eeeeeeeee!” Our foal jumped even higher and laughed even louder, clapping their hooves together as fast as they could. Trixie rolled her eyes and I had to chuckle. All that effort spent to get our child to say their mother’s name, or (barely acceptable) their father’s. So naturally, who was the pony graced with the honor of being the first name uttered by our child?

There was no denying it. Auntie Fizz (no pony else should even think about calling her that), was the most entertaining being in existence. Even Discord couldn’t get this kind of reaction. However, while "Fizz" was unquestionably popular with our foal, we did not begrudge it because Gemini was having a similar effect on Tempest. The normally taciturn mare was a different pony when with our child and, little by little, Tempest was opening her heart again to others. This boded well for her future and Twilight was particularly pleased that extending the hoof of Friendship to our former foe was paying off so well. I was happy that my recommendation to make her our provisional leader of the Protectorate had worked out. Under the circumstances, I could wait a little longer for Gemini to say "Daddy".

I smiled, hating to bring the moment to an end. “Do you mind if I ask why you came to Canterlot early and obviously straight from the battlefield? And why the guard on our room has been tripled?”

Tempest Shadow tore her eyes away from her number one fan. “Hmm? Oh. Quadrupled, actually. That’s because I learned of a serious threat to your life, Your Highness.” The mare then went back to making silly faces while sending up the occasional tiny firework that exploded against the ceiling to the unending delight of my now-daughter.

This time, it was my turn to blink a few times. Well, that put a damper on the evening.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Silfoe. Modified slightly with permission.

Before anyone insists that natural ponies have an eleven month gestation period, we know that already. First of all, these are not natural ponies. Secondly, pregnancy length is not only a matter of race but also of size. Thirdly, these are fantasy creatures with no canon data for this particular matter. We chose ten months as an acceptable compromise.

Chapter 72 - Targets and Victims

“Ummm. Care to be a bit more specific?” One could not go wrong when asking for more details about a potential assassin. I was rather attached to living and seeing my foal grow up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Penumbra move up close to my side.

Tempest held up a hoof to forestall giving me an answer. After a few seconds, several balls of static erupted from her horn and weaved around each other as they spiraled upwards, exploding into clouds of sparks when they hit the ceiling. Not only was that trick new, I had to admit it was also fairly impressive. My foal caught their breath, switching rapidly between their two forms as if trying to process the scene every way possible. Then they settled on pegasus colt and clapped their hooves together. “Yay! Fizz Fizz! Moooooooooooore!”

The unicorn laughed. “That’s enough for today. Time for your nap, I think.”

“No nap!” Gemini opened their mouth to say more but closed their eyes when a huge yawn overtook them. Trixie pulled a baby blanket (a gift from Fluttershy) over the foal’s withers and gently stroked the frog of one hoof down Gemini’s face. I’d seen this before and it never ceased to amaze me. No magic involved, just the timeless knowledge of foal-rearing. In stages, Gemini settled down and got sleepier with each slow pass of Trixie’s hoof. In less than a minute, they were letting out little snores on my wife’s chest.

Trixie looked up at Tempest once she was sure our foal was truly asleep. My wife said in her quietest voice, “Trixie takes it you asked for the extra guards?”

The red mare nodded as she sat down as I moved up next to my wife. “Yes, Your Highnesses. As you know, my troops have been searching for the group that has been launching attacks against the military and civilians. A week ago, an informant told me where to find their base deep in the mountains. Their leader was known only as ‘Overseer.’ He came from the Storm King’s clan and acted as the empire’s spymaster and ‘population manager’. Completely loyal. He left immediately after the Storm King’s defeat was announced.”

“My troops took up positions outside their walled-off mountain cleft. Numerous arrow slits allowed the Overseer's followers to cover every approach to their base with overlapping fields of fire. He chose to answer my call to return to his previous job with magic blasts and a very well-aimed arrow. Not that I was serious, mind you. He knew his brutal subjugation of the conquered territories could never be without consequences. I simply tried to spare his clansmates the same fate he would suffer.”

When a castle servant offered Tempest a glass of water, she shook her head and continued. “That’s when I gave the signal to attack. The two dragons loaned to us by the former Dragonlord and their subcontracted diamond dog clan were most useful. While my soldiers and one dragon kept the foe busy by attacking the front gate, his brother and the diamond dogs quickly found one of the base’s escape tunnels and widened it. Within an hour, the defenders were sharing their cramped compound with an angry, fire-breathing dragon. By the time he tore the gate open from the inside, there was very little left for the rest of us to do. Picking through the wreckage, we found that all usable intelligence had been disintegrated or burned even before the dragon arrived. I did find Overseer who laughed at me despite his grievous wounds. He used his final breath to swear a blood oath, which is very powerful among the yeti. He said something I must report but I’m afraid I do not understand. ‘Our Princess will kill your Prince.’ ”

I accepted a goblet of water from the servant and stared at the liquid inside as I considered. There was only one way I could think of to interpret this. I glanced up at my wife who gave me a very concerned look. Gemini chose that moment to start fussing so I put down my glass and stroked her mane until they settled down again. “Tempest, were you involved with the Storm King’s raid on the Southern Wastes changeling hive? It would have happened about a year ago.”

The mare shook her head. “At that time, I was overhauling the army’s air defenses. I heard there was an operation in the barren lands to the east of the newly conquered city of Sisophon. I was not in the ‘need to know’ for the details.”

“The Storm King conquered the hive and killed their queen. Queen Chrysalis and, by extension, I had assumed that their hive and all their drones were killed, but it looks like we were a bit hasty.”

Tempest shook her head. “That’s not the Storm King’s manner of operating. He always used his resources in creative ways. The more unusual, the better.”

Trixie said, “So at least one of the hive’s princesses must still be alive.”

I frowned. “And now she is out to kill me. Either by coercion or free choice.”

Tempest’s lips tightened into a thin line. “Because Overseer was involved, I doubt it was her idea.”

Trixie gently set Gemini down onto the bed. “Tempest Shadow, who came with you through the portal to Canterlot?”

The unicorns’ eyes went wide and her horn sparked once. She barked out, “Lieutenant Rancid Clover, front and center!”

A large earth pony mare marched into the room and saluted.

Tempest said, “What did you get for your baby brother for Hearth’s Warming?”

Rancid Clover grinned. “A set of Abyssinian throwing knives. I’ll have them sharpened when he gets a bit older.”

“And your older sister?”

The soldier’s smile fell. “You know she died in a training accident two months ago. Why are—”

Tempest interrupted. “Code 37. Target: Prince Mark Wells.”

“Oh!” She glanced at me and saluted again. “By your leave, Your Highness?”

I nodded. The earth pony left the room, barking orders.

“Anypony else?” I asked the Commander of our Foreign Forces.

“Yes. The apprentice from your Guild of Mages. Because he does not report directly to you, I dismissed Hexbreaker as soon as we arrived.” She winced. “That may have been a tactical error.”

Penumbra nodded to two of the guards stationed around the room. They filed out and I heard them gallop down the hall. The remaining four guards repositioned themselves.

I picked up my goblet again. “Now we just need to figure out the most unobtrusive way an assassin could get to me.”

“Sir!”

Penumbra never called me that. I stopped with the water halfway to my lips.

“Please set the goblet down and move away from it.”

I froze for only a moment, then did as she requested, being sure to not spill a drop. Corporal Broad Stripe moved in from her corner of the room, covered the container in a bubble of yellow magic then stared at the liquid as her horn glowed. After a few seconds, she said, “Some sort of nerve poison.”

Trixie said, “Go find Gilded Tapestry! She left just a minute ago.”

I took a couple of deep breaths while two more guardsponies left our room to be replaced by another pair. Penumbra started quizzing each to verify their identities. After Broad Stripe had passed inspection she asked, “Should I destroy this, Your Highness?”

I shook my head. “No. Take it to the apothecary. I doubt our assassin will try the same trick twice, but if there is an antidote, we need to know what it is.”

Trixie said, “And take two guards as an escort.”

“Yes, Your Highnesses.” The soldier levitated the goblet off of the floor in her sphere of magic and carried it out of the room.

When Penumbra was done verifying the identity of the replacement guards, she came back to my side.

“Thanks, Penny. I owe you one.”

“Just doing my job, Your Highness. Please take your other form.”

Oh, yeah. More powerful and presumably less vulnerable, despite being a bigger target. After changing into Marklestia, I noticed the tendons in the batpony’s neck were visible from clenching her jaws closed. Probably angry with herself for letting me get that close to death. She was in one hundred percent focused, on-alert professional mode right now.

I turned to see Tempest Shadow kneeling with her nose almost touching the floor. “Your Highnesses, I have failed you. I offer my—”

“Enough.” I really wasn’t in the mood.

“But I did exactly what the Overseer expected of me. My actions—”

Trixie interrupted this time. “Tempest Shadow. Your Triarchs do not expect you to be aware of everything this Overseer could have planned. Your new orders are to find the Southern Wastes Hive and secure it. Report back when you have done so. Inform us if there are any survivors among the changelings.”

I added, “We especially need to know if there are any other princesses still alive. When the last princess dies, the hive dies.”

The unicorn stood and bowed. “Immediately, my lieges.”

After she had left, Penny said, “I recommend you and your wife stay here this evening, sir. I’ll make sure everypony is fully screened before they enter your suite.”

Everypony’s head turned to the door and the conversation going on outside. After several seconds, the door opened but the guard pony stayed in the hallway upon seeing Penny’s upraised hoof. “Report.”

The guardspony said, “The real Gilded Tapestry has been found, Your Highnesses. She was unconscious in one of the castle pantries. Also, her uniform was gone. The last thing she remembers was talking with a young apprentice mage just before he cast a spell.”

“About what Trixie expected. Guard, please use the portals to go to Friendship Castle and ask Princess Twilight and King Thorax to come to our chambers as soon as they are able.”

“At once, Your Highness.” He bowed then galloped away.

My wife turned to me after picking up Gemini, who had started fussing again. “The Great and Wise Trixie decided our co-regent needed to be informed. This was the most expedient way to do so. Also, we could use more of a changeling perspective on this.”

I mulled that over. “I agree. But there is one more changeling I want to talk to.”

“Queen Carpacia? I believe she could get here tomorrow evening for a round table discussion. Trixie wants the Elements to be there as well.”

I nodded. “And the Old Pillars of Equestria. I think with all of us together, we can devise some strategies. No. I meant our resident psychopath in the basement. She has first-hoof knowledge of what their clan can do. But that can wait until our special visitors arrive tomorrow morning.”

Twilight teleported Penumbra and me directly to the entrance of the dungeon. The familiar lavender shield appeared so quickly that I would have sworn she teleported with it. We materialized into the center of a ring of mages and soldiers, all facing outward. Those weren’t the only precautions for this trip. Following the suggestion of Twilight and Thorax, I agreed to stay in my short-maned Marklestia form until the threat was over. Also, I would be wearing my crown with the Changeling Stone whenever I left the safety of my chambers.

The purple alicorn touched me on the shoulder with a hoof. “Are you good, Mark?”

I smiled. “As good as can be expected. Thanks, Twilight.”

She glanced briefly at Penumbra before dropping her shield. That’s when I noticed at least three shields covering the entire group of ponies. Twilight grinned with a twinkle in her eye. “I’ll go get your special guests.”

We traveled in tight formation down to the interview room at the lowest level of the dungeon. Entering, I saw four guards on each side standing against the walls. This was the same room I had previously used to interview Chrysalis, with five immobile concrete chairs on either side of a concrete table that stretched from wall to wall, dividing the cinder block room. There was hardly enough space for Penny to take up a spot next to the door as I took the seat in the middle directly across from a frowning Chrysalis. Reluctantly, I changed back to my stallion form because the chair was not made with towering alicorns in mind. I steepled my hooves and gave her a knowing smile, choosing to say nothing. As her glare became more venomous, I just grinned wider.

Eventually, she sighed. “Why have you interrupted my knitting, so-called pony? I will not sit here for your amusement.”

I gasped. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise. You see, I heard that it was your birthday, so that means you deserve a special present, just for you.”

She snarled. “Do not toy with me. I want only one thing from you and that heart’s owner is currently rotting in Tartarus. And it is not my birthday.”

“Then when is it?”

The changeling queen opened her mouth then froze. “I… I have no idea.”

The door behind Chrysalis opened and Pinkie Pie bounced in, a small cake on a plate held in one hoof. While every pony in the room recoiled in shock, the pink mare slid the dessert onto the table and wrapped the changeling in a hug. “Silly queenie! Of course, it’s your birthday!”

It was? Really?

Chrysalis’ eyes vibrated and her mouth was caught in a soundless scream. Her hooves grabbed her chair so hard they started to shake. I could sympathize with Chrysalis’ desire to hold onto anything sturdy in a vain attempt to ground herself back into a reality she could understand and deal with.

Of course, that was a futile effort.

I said, “Pinkie! This is a maximum-security facility!”

The pink mare looked up and released her squeeze toy. Chrysalis slid bonelessly to the floor, her eyes never leaving the Element of Laughter. The pink pony smiled. “Well, it was a maximum-security emergency that our resident Queen of Crankiness have an extra-specially-awesome day today! Did you know she’s gone ninety-eight years without a cake or present? I can’t stand for that! And looks like Queenie can’t either.”

Chrysalis’ head re-appeared as her front hooves flailed for purchase on the table and a chair back. “I will… I will… I will...” Obviously, she was trying to put together a threat of some sort, but her brain had not recovered from a concentrated dose of Pinkie. When the party mare leaned over the queen, the changeling flinched down so far I could barely see her quivering eyes.

“Yeperonni! I made your faaaaaaavorite cake in the whole world. Tastes like yeti heart!”

Chrysalis gasped and I think I did as well. The queen’s shivering stopped. “Really?” Her voice was tinged with hope.

“Nah, not really. But you can always pretend. That’s what I do!” Pinkie cleared the table in one leap then punched me in the shoulder with a hoof. Ow. Earth pony strength. “Great job arranging the super-duper awesome-licious present, Marky Mark! I’m proud of you!”

Pinkie opened the door behind me and pronked away. One of the equally stunned soldiers in the hallway closed it behind her. A guard opposite of me did the same to the door on that side.

Penumbra said, “Ummm… I suppose there was no need to verify her identity, was there?”

I shook my head. “The universe can’t handle more than one Pinkie.”

Across from me, Chrysalis tried to crawl back into her chair with some semblance of grace. Tried. After taking a few deep breaths, she eyed the cake dubiously. “I have changed my mind. There is one more thing I desire. I do not want to ever encounter that pony again.”

I smiled. “Oh, but that wouldn’t be fair to you, now would it? Think of all those parties and cakes you would be missing out on.”

Chrysalis’ head jerked back. “You wouldn’t!”

I gave her my best impression of a shark eyeing a minnow.

“You would.” Chrysalis sighed. “Just don’t expect me to eat any of that cake.”

A gentle breeze blew through the room, carrying the scent of cotton candy.

“… until later,” concluded Chrysalis. She shivered slightly with her forelegs wrapped around her.

Three knocks came from the door behind me. I slid to the side to allow two mares to enter so they could face the prisoner directly. I kept my eyes on Chrysalis the whole time, seeing her reaction to Chryssy’s co-ruler Princess Cadance (a snarl followed by a head tilt), then that universe’s Princess Postgena (mouth gaping open and irises narrowing to slits thinner than a pencil-lead).

The changeling queen recovered quickly. She sprang away from the table and lowered her head in an aggressive stance. “Blast you to Tartarus, stallion! I never gave permission for you to bring her here!”

The blue changeling princess slammed her hoof on the table. “Do not presume that I am controlled by any Prince, near-sister. Am I not allowed to make my own decisions? Am I not allowed to act on my own will and wish?”

I got my first look at the Crystal Hive princess as she stood just on the other side of Cadance. Unlike Chrysalis, the mare had a pure blue mane and tail. While her lower legs and wings had the familiar voids, her horn was as straight and spiraled as any unicorns. Perhaps a steady diet of love affected changeling royalty differently than for drones? I’d have to ask about that later. Postgena had a pony’s flat teeth and round irises, but her piercing stare and smile would have looked at home on Chrysalis. Being charitable, I would call her expression ‘zealous.’ Not being charitable, I would call it ‘borderline deranged.’

Chrysalis blinked a few times then rounded on Cadance. “And you! Perverter of hives! You can go—”

Anything else the queen was going to say died in her throat when Postgena put a second hoof on the table. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza has been declared Hive Savior and holds a place in our royalty on par with my own. If you insult her, you are insulting me and my hive. What was it exactly that you were going to say?”

All the guards in the room tensed and I prepared a spell. It would be very difficult to get anything through the invisible fields over the table that divided the room in two. Wait! Pinkie jumped through the space where they should have been. Never mind. Can’t think about that. For now, every pony waited for Chrysalis to speak.

The disdain had disappeared from Chrysalis’ face as she stared at Postgena. “I apologize for my words. They were spoken in haste and ignorance. I meant no offense to you or your glorious hive.” Her voice was sincere.

Wow. The changeling queen backtracked so quickly her hooves should have touched ground last week.

Next to me, a seated Cadance said, “Because Queen Chrysalis and I have never met, I cannot accept this apology. No insult was given or taken. The scales of our chitin are still balanced.”

This got an appraising but not hostile look from Chrysalis. Mentally, I made a note to learn more about changeling customs.

Postgena smiled a bit wider, which in no way was more comforting. She sat down in a chair and leaned back, lounging in it while waving a hoof at Chrysalis. The changeling queen carefully sat down and studied her counterpart. “You… really do resemble my sister. Though your demeanor is not what I remembered.”

The changeling princess laughed. “I would hope not. I’m… what? ...at least seventy years older than the one you knew, yes?”

Chrysalis turned to Cadance. “May I ask why you are here? And you are wearing an emotion-suppressing charm of some sort. You are… are you here to probe me for weaknesses?”

The alicorn shook her head. “I’m also here of my own recognizance. And no, I’m not wearing any emotion-masking jewelry. I’m afraid I just do that automatically when Postgena is around.” She narrowed her eyes and glared at the mare seated next to her. “Mostly because she keeps robbing me blind every time we play betting games!”

Postgena’s smile was unchanged. “You just need to get better: better at dice, better at card games, better at hiding your emotions, but mostly, better at bluffing.”

“I will win my crown back, you insufferable royal pain-in-the-flank!”

That earned her a chuckle and a lazy wave of one hoof. “Well, alicorns are supposed to be immortal, so that raises your odds to about… oh… twenty percent, I’d say.”

Chrysalis had that deer-in-the-headlights look on her face again. Definitely not a good day for her grip on reality. Or sanity, I suppose. Regardless, I needed to butt in.

I said, “As much as I hate to interrupt family-reunion-time, I have some news that will interest you, Chrysalis.”

She snorted derisively. “I highly doubt—”

“At least one daughter of Queen Dactylia is alive. I’ve sent troops to the Southern Waste Hive to see if there are more.”

Chrysalis gasped. “Who? What is her name?”

I smiled grimly. “I was hoping you could tell me. One of the Storm King’s loyalists sent her to kill me.”

She smiled and leaned forward. “Oh, that would be Princess Apicula. She has a perfect record of accomplishing her assigned missions. You are dead and just don’t know it yet.”

I matched her stare and likewise leaned forward. “Don’t you mean ‘you are dead without my help to save your sorry pony hide?’ ”

Her grin turned mocking. “You know what my price is. I will not waste my time repeating myself.”

I waved a hoof. “Already offered you what you wanted. You turned it down. Pay attention, Chrysalis. This is a different subject. What is your different price so I can turn you down this time?”

The bug queen got up from her seat and leaned over the table. “These nullifying bands removed and my unfettered access to the entire castle. But you don’t have the courage for that, do you? Or the sense to fear what you struggle to comprehend?”

I likewise stood up and moved closer. “With the way you act like the Queen of the Universe and regard every pony around you with contempt? Give you free rein of the castle? You haven’t demonstrated anything to earn that kind of trust.”

Cadance rolled her eyes and yelled, “By sun and moon!”

Postgena followed up, “Would you two just find an alcove and get it over with already?”

I gaped at the two then glanced back at Chrysalis. We shared a look that confirmed our agreement on the subject. She recovered her voice first. “We are not… flirting.”

Our two guests laughed and held onto each other. Both Chrysalis and I slowly sat back in our seats.

Cadance said, “Of course you are. Please don’t tell me I don’t know my own aspect.” She pointed a hoof at me. “Are you trying to tell me you aren’t attracted to strong-willed and prideful mares?”

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times. Eventually, I settled on, “I prefer my mares to not be… pathological.”

Cadance and Postgena shared a skeptical but knowing look. The princess addressed Chrysalis. “You need a strong stallion that will give you the best possible princesses for your new hive. Who better than the one that outsmarted you, outfought you, and is at the very least your equal in will and wit?”

Chrysalis frowned and decidedly did not look my way. After several seconds she answered. “I hate him too much to consider giving him any part of myself. I will never allow him to lord over my body.”

“A most creative objection,” mused Cadance, the corners of her mouth pulled upwards in a smirk.

“Yes,” agreed Postgena. “Tragically, that is a pony’s way of seeing things. Changeling queens are only interested in the welfare of their hive and are immune from such sentiments, aren’t they?”

Chrysalis fidgeted in her seat. For exactly once in my life, I found myself wanting to bail her out. “It’s customary to offer your birthday guests a slice of your cake.” The changeling queen looked at me with wide eyes, then at the cake. I had no doubt she knew exactly what I was doing and why. Still, I couldn’t resist twisting the knife. “It’s the pony way of seeing things.”

That earned me a renewed glare from across the table and I heard a wave of giggles next to me. Cadance tittered, “Oh, you two.” That stung, but it was still worth it.

“If I may?” asked Cadance. Not taking her disapproving gaze off of me, Chrysalis nodded. The plate was wrapped in a blue glow and levitated to a spot behind me. I heard Penumbra step closer, then a few seconds later, four roughly-equal sized slices of the cake floated back over the table, Chrysalis’ slice still on the plate. I grabbed a piece in my magic, took a bite, then stopped chewing. It tasted like bacon. As in real bacon. Was Pinkie telling the truth? No. She had said that it wasn’t really made with yeti heart.

“Ugh! Disgusting!” Cadance spat out her bite and ran two hooves over her tongue. “That is… unspeakably vile! Give me crickets or locusts any day over this!”

Postgena raised an eyebrow and floated Cadance’s remaining piece closer to herself.

I looked back at Chrysalis, shrugged, and took a second bite. Time to be done twisting the knife and just shove it in deeper. I batted my eyelashes. “Go ahead… dear. Have more. You never know when you’re going to need your strength.”

From Cadance’s attempts to stifle her laughter, she understood what I was hinting at. Chrysalis put the slice back on her plate, only one bite missing. “I’ve lost my appetite. And stop trying to humiliate me.”

More snickers from the mares on my left. I heard Cadance say, “No. No flirting whatsoever.”

Postgena said, “Please, near-sister. This is embarrassing. You are allowing this stallion to control your every action. Try to show some self-respect, at least.”

That earned the princess a snarl. “I will not be toyed with by this annoying worm! He is beneath the dirt on my hooves!”

The blue princess wasn’t paying attention, having turned to Cadance. “Has my near-sister tried to mate with him already? Be honest now.”

The pink alicorn shook her head. “No. Chrysalis sent one of her finest infiltrators to stand in for Trixie Lulamoon during her attempted take-over of Equestria. Mark saw through the ruse almost immediately.”

Postgena gave me an appraising smile. “Is that so? How did it turn out?”

“Princess Twilight shared the conflict’s out-briefing and lessons-learned reports with me. Mark bucked the infiltrator in the head. Put her in a coma for a month.”

The changeling princess roared with laughter and rolled onto the floor, holding her stomach. The magic field levitating both pieces of cake cut out and the slices splattered a bit on the table. After a minute or so, she returned to her seat, wiping tears away from her eyes. “Oh… Oh, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages. You must share those reports with me, then I can go over all of my near-sister’s failures with her in excruciating detail.”

I said, “No, you will not.”

Postgena’s unnerving stare and smile were now pointed directly at me. Every pony else was completely silent. “Oh?”

“Neither you nor Cadance will share our intelligence with a sworn enemy of Equestria.”

The blue princess smiled wider. “Are you saying you have control of what I or the Hive Savior choose to do?”

I leaned closer. I felt as much as heard Penumbra move to my side. “No, I am not. What I can say is that neither of you will ever visit this dimension again if you do not do as I say in this matter.”

I was shown how carnivorous a set of flat pony-like teeth can appear. After a few seconds, Postgena leaned back. “You were correct, Cadance. A most unusual mix of emotions for a pony. Why is that, I wonder?” She didn’t wait for my response, instead looking across the table. “I’m tired of your petty resentment. Your resulting spawn would be adequate, regardless of your inflated standards. Stop trying to convince me of his unworthiness.”

Chrysalis splayed her ears back and snarled. “I don’t know what lessons you learned from your mother, but mine taught my sisters and me that all ponies were inferior. Nothing I have seen or experienced has caused me to doubt this. Mother betrayed her entire race by forgetting this and her obligations as ruler of our hive. Tragically, she sought to elevate one of them to our level. I say ‘tragically’ because—”

“Ha!” Postgena slammed her hoof on the table. “That’s it! I know who you remind me of now!” She grinned even wider, turning to the alicorn. “Hey, Cady. Remember what I told you about growing up with Aunt Calyxia?”

“Oh, dear.” Cadance covered her eyes with a hoof.

Chrysalis furrowed her brow. “I… I don’t recognize that name.”

The blue princess smiled even wider. “Calyxia was the Crystal Hive’s most experienced infiltrator. Everyling respected her knowledge and accomplishments. All of us sat at her hooves for hours and hours. More than any changeling now or since, she understood the minutia of pony lives. She taught us how to build a framework to establish the unconscious reactions of the race we fed upon. Because of her, even the least-experienced infiltrators could quickly switch our thought processes between genders and ages for all three tribes. And do so convincingly.”

I waited for the other horseshoe to drop. I was not disappointed.

Postgena chuckled. “Of course, everyling was embarrassed to admit she was part of the family.”

“She had this insane idea that changelings were supposed to be carnivores. You know… eat the essence of your enemies to make yourself stronger. Actually killed a juvenile manticore and got violently ill after eating its liver. Claimed she was twice the ’ling she used to be… after she could walk again. My squad and I had to personally pull her plot out of the fire when she put her sights on an adult hydra. At that point, we knew she was crazy.”

I remembered a similar belief from primitive tribes on Earth. “Did she eat any ponies?” All eyes turned to me and I shrugged. “You know – eat their hearts and all that.”

As the resulting silence stretched out, I realized that maybe my genuine curiosity was misplaced here.

Chrysalis sighed. “Can you, just once, stop being so maddeningly grotesque?”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you say, Honey Bug.” I heard a growl but didn’t spare her a glance.

I perceived small shifts in Postgena’s smile. “You’re even odder than Cady and Chryssy would have had me believe. We will face off across the sparring field or a card table before my visit to your kingdom is done.”

Cadance said, “Prince Mark, if you wouldn’t mind, Postgena and I would like to speak privately with Queen Chrysalis. We will be quite safe without any guards present.”

I noticed she did not promise anything regarding our prisoner’s safety. Still, it wasn’t entirely my decision. “Well, Your Majesty? Your protection is my primary concern.”

Chrysalis regarded the two mares next to me for several seconds. Without looking at me, she raised a hoof and waved it lazily. “Leave.”

I nodded to the guards on the far side of the table and to those behind me. I exited the room, followed by Penumbra then the four guards, the last of whom closed the door. At Penny’s loud clearing of her throat, I remembered to change back into my short-maned Marklestia form.

I walked back to the stairs leading up towards the castle proper. Again, our contingent of mages and guardsponies surrounded Penny and me. I couldn’t really relax, though. Every castle servant or guard we passed could be the assassin. I wanted to look behind and in front of me at the same time. Once Penny and I were within sight of the door to my suite, I heard my bodyguard exhale loudly. Had she been holding her breath during the whole walk?

I put up a privacy bubble around just the two of us. Learned how to do that just last week! I asked, “You good?”

“Sure am. I got what I needed, but I don’t think you realize how tense that situation was back there. It could have gone very badly very quickly. And not just the two obvious times.”

I thought about the interview room’s three remaining occupants. “And when we left?”

Penumbra shook her head. “They’ll be fine. Already worked through all their crises, I think.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Even here, I was keeping my eyes moving and ears open. I dropped the bubble shield and waited for the door guard to open the door to the room after she exchanged a code phrase with the watch on the inside.

Later that morning, my guardsponies nixed the idea of me sparring with Postgena, so our two guests and I settled for a game of chance. Trixie answered my request for her to join us with a dark stare and a view of her backside. Very efficient with words when she wanted to be.

I knew I couldn’t out-bluff a changeling, so I opted for the impartial odds given to me by a set of dice. It didn’t make a lick of difference. Despite Cadance’s urging that ‘I was so close to getting luck to turn my way,’ I resisted the temptation to buy back into the pot with my crown. Sorry, Cady. Your misery can get by just fine without my company.

After some discussion with Penumbra and my guard detail, I was not allowed to visit Duke Blueblood. He was, however, given an armed escort to my suite. I looked up from my desk to see a very upset stallion.

“Why are you sending your goons to harass me? I am an upstanding noble of royal blood who has every—”

I interrupted. “And that’s exactly the point. I thought you’d like to know that Equestria has received a credible threat from the Storm King’s deputy. He said, ‘Our Princess will kill your Prince.’ ”

“That does not excuse…” At that point, his brain appeared to catch up to his ears and the Duke’s eyes went wide. “Oh… I… umm.” He took a couple of deep breaths. “How… how credible is this threat?”

“Credible enough that one attempt has already been made on my life.”

“And you think my… former title may put myself and my wife in danger.” It wasn’t a question.

I nodded. “I have no idea how picky the changeling assassin is. May I recommend you both take another vacation? Feel free to use the daggerscale portal room. These guards will accompany you for as long as it takes to get you two on your way.”

Blueblood bowed respectfully. “Thank you, Your Highness. I… greatly appreciate your consideration. I’ll… um… let Vigne know about the… ah… change in plans.”

As he was about to exit the room, I called out, “Oh, and Blueblood?”

He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

“Don’t tell anyone of your destination.”

He looked around the room suspiciously, nodded, and left at a trot.

The meeting of Equestria’s brain-and-power-trust ended with a few actions agreed upon. Every guard detail for the Triarchs now had two additional members. Upon orders from his brother, Pharynx had nominated a pair of evolved changelings to accompany the three of us at all times. Thorax and Carpacia explained that no unevolved changeling could pretend to be an evolved one. Something about how internally-generated love “tasted different”. That meant each guard detail had a one hundred percent effective way to verify the identity of the two changelings arriving for the next shift.

After some heated debate, I was allowed to take a shift of Day Court, though the number of nobles in their gallery was drastically reduced and petitioners were extensively screened. Limiting where and when the assassin could make her next attempt meant we controlled the situation rather than the other way around. In addition, three different teams made a sweep of the Throne Room before the session. Also, a few dozen mages and guards stationed themselves around the chamber.

Two hours into the session, everything had progressed in a normal fashion, if a bit slower than usual because of last moment checks of petitioners. That’s when Baron Top Drawer started babbling nonsense at the top of his lungs. His eyes were wide and his body shook uncontrollably. I raised my personal shield and glanced at Penny. Unlike everypony else, she was looking up.

I jumped off my throne and opened my wings. To my right, I heard and felt the heat of a horn blast from Starlight Glimmer. Clear of the dais, I moved to the left but felt my magic being sucked out of me through my shield. Glancing up, I saw a pegasus that resembled Rainbow Dash dodge a few spells cast her way. Water ran off her body but her wings were dry. This mare was definitely not my friend, because this set of eyes held no warmth or pity. Directly above me, a metal sphere sparked and hissed as it pushed its way through my shield. I only had a moment to recognize the similarity to the stone sphere used to petrify Twilight during the Storm King’s invasion.

Just before my shield collapsed, Penny was there. She flew above me, grabbing the ball with both hooves. Unlike the ones used before, this petrification bomb acted almost instantaneously – Penumbra was encased in stone in less than a second. I caught her in my magic and put her on the floor next to me as quickly as I could. Then the world went white. Fortunately, I happened to blink right when the blinding flash went off so I only saw a few spots in my vision.

I lifted my gaze and saw the assassin. The magic blasts impacting the now-damaged ceiling missed her by a wide margin. This time, she threw a brown sphere towards me that I recognized. It was an explosive grenade from the Storm King’s inventory. I caught it in a bubble of my magic and redirected its trajectory to shoot out one of the stained-glass windows. Before I could release the bomb, it exploded and my shield shattered. I was struck with a massive headache as the magical feedback forced its way into my horn.

Through gritted teeth, I looked up at my attacker. The faux-pegasus had a ghost of a smile now as she pulled back a foreleg, only for her expression to change to wide eyes and a gaping mouth. The last beat of her wings made a loud high-pitched whirring sound. Dimly, I perceived that the air in the room glowed the same color as Starlight’s magic. Every horn in the room excluding mine shot a beam at that spot and a number of weapons were thrown that way. Even over the sounds of the marble ceiling crumbling under the assault, the droning of her wings was clearly audible. After dozens of near misses and a couple of glancing hits, the frantically turning assassin shot through an opening above her and was gone.

At the last moment, I saw where some of the ceiling debris was falling. “No!”

A few pieces struck Penumbra’s outstretched wings. I heard two sickening snaps and they fell to the floor, having broken off at the base. One wing further shattered into several pieces when it landed.

I ran up next to her, a yawning pit growing in my stomach. I had never felt this helpless. “No! Goddammit, no!”

Starlight blinked a few times then focused on me. She followed my eyes and gasped. “I’ll… I’ll go get Twilight and Thorax.” With an inrush of air, she was gone.

“Your Highness! He’s dying!”

I looked to where the voice came from. A noble mare was cradling Baron Top Drawer’s head as his shaking lessened. Vaguely, I recalled this was his wife, although I couldn’t remember her name. I turned to an earth pony mare to my left. “Stark Herbalist! Apply the nerve poison antidote immediately!”

All around me, the pieces of stone began to levitate in the air, slowly floating toward the ceiling. Somepony had triggered the restoration enchantment that had been incorporated into the reconstructed Throne Room. I pointed at the two evolved changelings. “You two! Protective shields around Sergeant Penumbra right now.” I was not going to risk the untried spell failing halfway.

The pair followed my orders and shields covered me and Penny, cutting us off from the rest of the room. Looking back at my bodyguard, I saw blood slowly leaking from the wing nub closest to me.

With a flash of light, the ceiling was restored to its previous state. Looking up, I ground my teeth. Some things weren’t going to be so easily repaired.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by LeftDuality.

Chapter 73 - Assassin's Revenge

My mind was racing, trying to think of a plan of action when Starlight returned with Twilight and Thorax. The alicorn’s gaze immediately shifted to Penumbra’s petrified form, her eyes widened, and she gasped. Her horn lit up as she moved closer to examine the injuries.

“You gotta help her, Twi! Penny saved me from being petrified but I couldn’t stop her wings from getting broken off. I failed her!”

Twilight’s gaze shifted to me and she frowned. “What do you mean?”

“After the assassin’s attempt to turn me to stone was intercepted by Penny, the changeling threw one of the Storm King’s grenades at me. I confined it in a shield and tried to hurl it out the window, but when it exploded, I couldn’t contain it. The feedback shut down my unicorn magic. I couldn’t do a thing about the rubble that fell onto Penny and broke her wings.”

“What rubble? I assumed Penumbra must have fallen when she was encased in stone. Wait – the restoration enchantment was activated?”

I nodded then paused. “What do you mean by encased in stone? I thought she was petrified like you were.”

Twilight looked back at Penny. “This is different; otherwise the stumps of her wings wouldn’t be bleeding. However, as it’s a very slow leak, I believe that the rest of Penumbra’s body is virtually in stasis. We have some time to work with.”

“Then we can depetrify her and use your special healing gel on her wings?” I asked hopefully.

Twilight shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Mark. I haven’t worked all the bugs out of it as yet. You saw what happened when I used it on you, and that’s not even close to the worst problem. Growth is sometimes disproportionate and the final result might not even work properly. Ponies with limb loss were among the first volunteers to sign up for experimental trials with the gel. For two of the twelve pegasi who regrew small sections of their wing, the new areas were opaque to magic and the patient could not fly. I’m still researching why that happens. Also, while regenerating, the wing isn’t strong enough to withstand gravity. I don’t know how to support the growing structure yet.” She looked down at the one intact wing on the floor. “Maybe if I made a mold then created a mirror image… but how would I hold it in place?”

“That’s still better than not doing anything at all!” I protested. “Even if she can’t fly, at least she’ll have wings again.”

Thorax spoke up. “There’s one thing that hasn’t been tried yet.”

We both looked at the changeling king with a mixture of surprise and hope.

“Spit it out, Thorax!”

“Well, Twilight’s experiments were purely with variations of the new healing gel. What they all had in common is that they acted very fast, just like with Mark’s wounds. I suggest that we put her in a changeling healing pod and introduce a little of the gel at a time. The fluid in the pod will dilute the gel’s effects–”

“Thus controlling the growth rate!” interjected Twilight, hope shining in her eyes. “Plus it eliminates the problem of gravity distorting the wings. I can set up a spell to regulate the speed of the flow of the gel directly to the area that is regrowing. The more restrained growth could allow the mana paths to form properly and prevent the opacity problem. Thorax, love – you’re a genius!”

The changeling blushed. “Not really. I talked it over with our healer Flagellum and she also suggested using our largest pod.”

I thought to myself, ‘Sometimes the smartest thing to do is to ask the right pony, or 'ling in this case.’ I turned back to Twilight. “How soon can we do this? We don’t know what will happen to the exposed open wound if it’s left like that too long.”

The alicorn replied, “I have some pods back at my lab for experimental purposes, including one that is oversized. We can have Penumbra in it very soon. Thorax, tell Flagellum that the Hive Mother requires her services. Starlight, could you take my husband to the hive, please? Then bring him and the healer to my castle.”

Starlight nodded and said, “On it!” She teleported away with Thorax.

“I want to go with you, Twilight,” I said.

“Sorry, Mark, but you’d just be in the way,” she replied, and a moment later, both she and Penny were gone.

I looked forlornly at the broken wings that had been left on the floor. I was still gazing at them, cursing my inability to protect my friend when my wife arrived.

“Trixie has been told what happened. Are you alright, Dowser?”

I slowly shook my still-aching head. “No, I’m not, Lulu. One of my best friends just got maimed because I was too useless to prevent it. Twilight thinks we may be able to regrow Penny’s wings but that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Why do you blame yourself, darling? You aren’t responsible for the assassin’s actions.”

“Because I should have been able to contain that blast that knocked out my levitation ability.”

“Pardon me, sire, but no, you couldn’t,” came another voice.

I turned to face the Royal Guard. “What do you mean, Sterling?” I asked.

He held up a shard of something. “This is shrapnel from the grenade. It’s nullstone. That weapon was fabricated to look like a standard grenade but was specifically designed to incapacitate unicorns by breaking their shields. If you had let it drop onto your personal shield, the grenade would have broken it, most likely causing you and all around you serious wounds in the process. Redirecting it was your best option but I suspect it was intended to detonate upon encountering any unicorn magic.”

I frowned. “I see. That assassin wasn’t worried about casualties among innocent bystanders attending court, was she? With that nullstone flying around, not even the armored guards would have been safe.”

“Correct, sir.”

“Then nopony is safe around me. I’m going to go to Twilight’s castle. If I can’t be here on royal duty, at least I can give Penumbra my support.” I started heading out but Trixie stopped me.

“You’re not going anywhere until you have your personal bodyguard, Trademark Upsells!” Trixie said imperiously.

I choked back a retort before turning back to Sterling. “Have Crimson Boulder report to me at once!”

Sterling saluted and galloped out of the throne room.

I stewed in my anger and frustration for several minutes while I waited for my earth pony friend to turn up. Trixie tried to calm me down by putting her foreleg around my neck and nuzzling me. It did work a bit. When Crimson arrived at the same precipitous rate at which the Royal Guard left, his grim expression told me that he’d been informed about what had happened.

I said, “Lieutenant Crimson Boulder, you are hereby promoted back to being my personal bodyguard. We’re going to Princess Twilight’s castle. Choose your team.”

He nodded and immediately began selecting several of the Royal Guards who regularly worked with Penny. As soon as he was ready, we started for the daggerscale portal room. Minutes later, we exited from its counterpart in the Ponyville castle and I headed directly for Twilight’s laboratory.

“Coordinate with Twilight’s guards,” I said. “While I don’t expect the assassin to try again today or here in this castle, I don’t intend to take any chances.”

When we reached the lab, we found Twilight and an evolved changeling in the act of preparing a healing pod. Penny’s stony form was lying on a nearby bench out of harm’s way. Starlight was bent over it, her eyes closed and horn glowing. Thorax was standing to one side and watching the procedures but he came over to me as soon as he saw us arrive.

“We’re almost ready,” Thorax said. “Flagellum has optimized the healing pod and Twilight is crafting the spell needed to feed in the regenerative gel. However, due to being unique and unprecedented, it’s taking her a lot of time to craft it.”

“What’s Starlight doing?”

“She’s deconstructing the petrifying spell. She reckons that its similarity to the one used on Twilight should make it fairly straightforward.”

“Yeah, for a magical expert like her, I suppose. I see that the stumps don’t seem to be weeping fluids anymore. Is the delay going to affect those open wounds?” I asked with a worried frown.

“I’m no authority on these matters, Mark, but I know that when Twilight was performing trials with the regenerative gel on the amputees, she had to cut the stumps to present unscarred tissue to begin the process.”

I winced. I knew that the damage was already done but deliberately cutting off a bit more of the remaining wing still seemed horrible.

“I’m ready,” declared Starlight.

“Just a minute more,” Twilight said. “I have the spell in place but I’m triple-checking it before I commit.”

Even if every second seemed like an eternity to me, I preferred that the alicorn was sure that she had gotten it correct. There were so many ways this could go wrong and leave Penny crippled.

Eventually, Twilight stepped back from the pod and moved over to my stricken bodyguard. “Okay, now for the final step. At least, Penumbra won’t be caused any extra pain when I do this.” Her horn flashed twice and a slice fell off each wing stump, replacing the ragged breaks with clean cuts. Fluid started oozing out once more from both.

Twilight nodded at Starlight who gritted her teeth in concentration. The glow of her magic surrounded Penny’s form and the stony shell shattered, falling in a rain around the batpony.

Penumbra arched her back and screamed in agony. I winced in sympathetic pain. Twilight quickly cast another spell and my friend slumped into unconsciousness. The alicorn then levitated Penny’s limp body over to the healing pod and lowered her into the liquid. Barely any spilled over as the batpony was immersed and Flagellum closed the pod. There was a bladder attached and it pulsed with magic. I saw two silvery lines extend to the wing stumps and start discharging the contents of the bladder. It mixed with the pod fluid, diluting it as had been suggested back at Canterlot.

Twilight turned away, nodding in satisfaction. “The process has begun. Now it’s just a matter of time before we find out if we got everything right.”

“How long, Twi?”

“We erred on the safe side, so instead of just a few minutes like was done with your healing process, Penumbra’s should take a minimum of six hours. The pod will supply Penumbra with all her needs indefinitely, so there’s no point in rushing the regeneration process.”

“You know I’m going to be a nervous wreck by then?”

Twilight gave me a sympathetic smile. “You can visit her as often as you like to see her progress. Don’t worry, Mark – she means a lot to all of us and we’ll take the very best care of her.”

“Thanks, Sparkles.” I looked around at the others. “Thanks, all of you. Without you, Penny would never be whole again.” My expression hardened. “But now that tending to Penny is out of the way, it’s time to deal with the cause of the problem. Up until now, we were satisfied with setting a trap which the assassin avoided. Today showed us that that’s not enough. We need to go actively eliminate that threat.”

Twilight frowned. “Does that mean killing the assassin?”

“If necessary,” I confirmed.

The alicorn shook her head. “No. That’s absolutely the last resort. We haven’t heard back from Tempest yet. Killing Apicula might spell the end of every changeling in her hive.”

I glared at her. “What if the target had been Thorax instead?” I grimaced in satisfaction as she winced and looked a little guilty.

“Be that as it may,” Twilight riposted, “we still do not know for certain if she is doing this on her own initiative. In fact, why in Tartarus would she willingly follow the orders of the subordinate of the yeti who killed her mother?”

I exhaled slowly and let go of my anger. “You're probably right. The one responsible for Penumbra’s injuries was the Overseer who is now dead, along with those who fought with him. There's no one left to take revenge on, is there?”

Twilight let me reflect on that without comment.

After a bit, I said, “OK. We'll continue to try to capture and kill only if we have to. Now, it’s time we figured out how the assassin got past our defenses.”

Neither Trixie nor I were happy when Sterling brought the report to us in our suite.

“Are you sure Apicula hid in Trixie’s ceiling fountain?” my wife asked forlornly.

The changeling Royal Guard nodded. “The battle forensic team positively identified that as her place of concealment. The ambient chaos magic that makes the gravity-defying water feature possible also interfered with the magical scans used to detect intruders. Apicula avoided visual identification by taking the place of one of the stone fishes at the bottom of the pool. We estimate that she had to have been in place for at least three days.” He shook his head in amazement. “That level of mimicry and endurance is well beyond anything any red changeling can achieve, and my fellow guardlings tell me the same can be said for the crystal changelings.”

I frowned. Chrysalis had not been exaggerating about the skills of this princess. “How is Baron Top Drawer?”

Sterling replied, “We found a dart loaded with the nerve poison embedded in his rump; it had been obscured by his tail. That’s another thing. The skill needed to hit him from the height of the fountain, passing through two different gravity fields. I don’t think the Equestrian military has anypony comparable. Anyway, he was obviously meant to be a diversion while the assassin pursued her real target. Fortunately for the Baron, the prompt application of the antidote saved his life. He is expected to make a full recovery.”

“Good. At least nopony had to die in this attempt. However, Apicula has already outwitted us once despite the heightened security. She’s been calling the shots from the start and it’s time we changed that. We need to adopt a plan to catch her before she can figure out another way past our defenses.”

Crimson Boulder said, “Apicula could only bring so many tools with her and she’s already been forced to repeat using one of them, to wit – the nerve poison. Her next attempt is now more likely to be based on straight deception and substitution.”

I thought about that for a moment, remembering back to the round table meeting from five days earlier. I smiled slightly. “Then let’s give her that opportunity.”

The shocked looks of the others made me chuckle, then I turned serious. I muttered, “Although, I don’t think I’m going to like it.”

From my suite, I received hourly reports on Penumbra’s recovery. Her wings were growing slowly but steadily, with no visible abnormalities. This filled me with much relief as it meant that my friend would at least have her wings back. Now, all we had to do was hope that they formed correctly and worked properly. Through Sterling Shield, I heard that Twilight fussed over her patient constantly, optimizing the flow of the regenerative gel and adjusting its distribution as the surface area of the new limbs grew.

Trixie had to assume the majority of the royal duties because it was deemed too risky for me to appear in public for the time being. Twilight helped out as much as possible, but both mares still needed to devote time to their foals. At least, with more time on my hooves, I was able to spend much of it with Gemini. Twilight and Trixie pared down the court sessions to the most essential and urgent matters, but that still left me plenty to do paperwork-wise. Therefore, I spent every day of the next week and a half in the office portion of the Royal Suite with Crimson Boulder by the door, my foal’s cot by my side, and their changeling nanny quietly watching over Gemini and attending to their needs. It was a good thing that I had a big workspace!

One of the things that I noticed due to spending a lot more time with my child was that Gemini tended to be in their filly form when sleeping and switched to colt form when they wanted something. I wondered if they were developing two distinct personalities or just showing each side of the one. Only time would answer that question but I hoped that we would figure it out soon enough to deal with our unusual foal’s psychological needs.

I sighed. Doing paperwork was boring enough, but being confined to my suite for the sake of security meant there was no break from the current scenery. At least I got a new Marklestia-sized desk out of this ordeal. For my protection, the pieces were nailed together in my room to ensure they were exactly what they appeared to be.

I yawned and stretched my forelegs and wings. This earned me a disapproving glare from Penumbra as if any unnecessary movement was a precursor for a desperate escape attempt via the balcony. As if that would work. The sliding doors had been replaced by a brick wall, making it impassable to anypony or even any insect. A shifting array of anti-teleport shields removed the chance for magical entry from that or any other direction. Both Discord and Twilight gave them their seal of approval. I reflected on my extended incarceration.

Sparring practice? Canceled.

Flight lessons? Read books on aerodynamics and weather control instead.

A quick trip down to the Royal Kitchens for food? The oats and dried vegetables stored in our emptied-out closet would last for two months. Get used to them.

Preside over another session of Day Court? That got a round of laughter out of Penumbra, and not the friendly kind. I felt far too guilty to bring up the subject again. Maybe in another week or so.

At least Trixie and Gemini got to escape this gilded prison. My wife took over my old rooms and came back daily with more happy stories of how she was changing it for the better. Steady's expression behind her back perfectly expressed what I was feeling on the inside at the “marvelous news.” I was fairly certain my wife was taking advantage of this unique opportunity to prank me. Whispered conversations between her and Starlight with occasional glances my way only strengthened my conviction.

The knock at the door almost made me cry with relief. “Come in!”

After giving me a glare for breaking protocol, Penumbra moved halfway between my desk and the double doors. A green glow enveloped them and they swung inwards, revealing a shivering earth pony mare surrounded by four frowning guardsponies. I recognized Lieutenants Crimson Boulder and Crumb Catcher, a very short unicorn stallion. The pegasus mare, Sergeant Storm Flag, stood closest to the entrance to my suite. Next to her, Corporal Soup Sandwich was inspecting a set of folded sheets with both his horn and hooves. The maid sported a dull gray coat with an even duller brown mane and tail. She wrung her hooves piteously while trying to stammer out her reason for being here. “I'm... Your Highness... I...”

“Gilded Tapestry! I'm so glad to see you. Thank you for taking up your station again. I know your encounter with the infiltrator was quite terrifying.”

Corporal Sandwich finished his examination of the bedsheets and levitated them a few feet into the room. He stepped back and gave Gilded a nod. The mare hadn't taken a step forward before Penumbra stopped her with an upraised hoof. “Mother's name?”

“S-Satin Sheets.”

“Name one of the ponies at your cute-ceañera.”

That made her eyes go wide. “Oh, umm... Jawbreaker. He was my coltfriend… umm… but not now.”

Penumbra walked back to my side. Only after my bodyguard nodded did the guards in the hallway encourage Gilded Tapestry to walk the rest of the way into the room. The same green glow from guardspony Crumb Catcher closed the doors to my chamber.

The maid wrung her hooves a couple more times before moving to my bed and efficiently stripping off the sheets.

I smirked and glanced at my bodyguard. “You know, Penny, I'm sure you could do that job... and you'd even rock the new uniform.”

Penny's ear twitched as if a persistent fly had tried to make it their home. “Please keep your personal fantasies to yourself, Your Highness.”

I chuckled and turned back to my paperwork.

After a couple of minutes, I heard Gilded Tapestry cough a couple of times. Looking up, I saw her bring a hoof up to her mouth while the other held a pillowcase.

“Amateurish,” said my bodyguard as she stepped forward. Green flames enveloped her form, revealing the former Crystal Hive Queen. Immediately, I raised my personal shield.

The earth pony mare squeaked in terror and dropped the pillowcase, retreating until her rump hit the back wall. “Ch… Ch… Change—”

Chrysalis snarled. “I am no mere changeling! My name is Chrysalis, Queen of Changelings! If you are going to impersonate a pony, have the decency not to cast insults that would cost you your life!”

Chrysalis’ horn glowed a sickly green as she advanced on the maid. “I expected better from the daughter of Queen Dactylia. It’s bad enough for you to work for the murderers of your hive, but retrieving a vial of poison from your mouth with a cough? That’s just sloppy – unforgivably so.” The changeling queen towered over the maid, who was now huddled on the floor. “Your mother praised your efficiency and perseverance, though I can hardly see why.”

I said, “How sure are you, Chrysalis?”

She tilted her head. “The mix of emotions is most convincing, but I suspect she will not want to reveal what is in her hooves.”

Gilded Tapestry shot a pleading look my way as her whole body trembled. I nodded. “Show us, please.”

Shakily, she revealed the frogs of her empty hooves.

I saw Chrysalis’ ears twitch in annoyance, then she scanned both the hooves and the pillowcase with a beam from her horn. With a final snarl that caused the earth pony to shrink down even further, the changeling queen stalked back to my side and sat down. “Disappointing.”

I clasped my forehooves together and lowered my shield. “Please forgive us, Gilded. We’ve been running this test for over a week now. Everyone from new guards to each maid to Lady Stylish Soiree.”

“Who?” Chrysalis inclined her head fractionally towards me.

I glared. “Baron Top Drawer’s wife.”

The changeling queen nodded. “Ah, yes. Such a marvelous conversationalist. Adept at speaking the least number of words necessary and no more.”

I ground my teeth. “She screamed at the top of her lungs and then fainted.”

Chrysalis smiled. “Yes. Like I said. Exactly the right number of words for a pony meeting their betters.”

I turned back to the maid with a sigh. “Again, I apologize for the bit of theatre and for the distress we caused you. Please keep this incident secret until we find the intruder, Miss Gilded.”

With a couple of fearful glances at my companion, the earth pony mare shakily got to her hooves. “As… as you wish, Your Highness.” She took a couple of deep breaths and continued her work.

When she finished, she bowed deeply. I could still see her legs shivering. “Is… is there anything else you need, Your Highness?”

I steepled my hooves on the desk. “Actually, there is one thing. Kind of puzzling, really.”

The maid looked directly into my eyes.

I raised my shield again before I continued. “Sergeant Sterling Shield visited you at home six days ago and told the real you about the new security arrangements. But you didn’t know that, did you?”

There was a brief pause and then everything happened very quickly. Gilded Tapestry jumped to the side, bringing a forehoof to her mouth as blue-green flames enveloped her. When they dissipated, Chrysalis and I faced a gray changeling with a violet mane and tail that shifted to yellow at the ends. A few sections of her hair were wrapped in green bindings of some sort and she wore leg coverings of greenish-gray metal. Her carapace was yellow on her stomach with bands of green along her sides and back. Her foreleg was a blur as she threw something towards me… which stopped in mid-air along with the changeling herself. A white bubble encased her motionless form and what was a dart of some sort. As I watched, the bubble shrunk, leaving the dart to fall towards the floor. Chrysalis’ magic caught it and levitated the dart to the nightstand next to my bed.

From behind me, I heard a crunching noise. Turning, I saw Star Swirl step out from my closet, shadows seeming to fall off his body as he moved forward. His horn glowed softly and a pile of oats rested on his hoof. He grinned. “I must have gained a couple of pounds this week. Can either of you appreciate how enticing those oats smell after sitting next to them all day?”

Green flames enveloped Chrysalis, leaving Thorax standing next to me. He took in a deep breath then stuck his tongue out. “Bleh! Taking the form of my mother always leaves a terrible taste in my mouth! Give me some of those oats, please.”

Star Swirl levitated half of his pile into the changeling king’s mouth. After Thorax was done munching on his snack, I said, “Your impression of Queen Chrysalis was far better than that of my bodyguard. ‘Keep your personal fantasies to yourself’? What kind of comeback is that?”

Thorax shrugged his shoulders and waved at the bearded wizard. Obligingly, more oats levitated to the changeling’s outstretched hoof. “Thanks to seeing Chrysalis’ reactions to you and her two visitors last week, I had a good read on who she is now. Definitely not the same as when she led the hive.”

I snorted in amusement. “I’m just glad you didn’t have to say anything then.”

Thorax grinned. “Sorry, Mark. Insults from Chrysalis are like a bludgeon and easy to mimic. Those from Penumbra are like a surgeon’s scalpel. I just can’t wrap my brain around how to think that way.”

Star Swirl walked past me and up to our prisoner. “So, here is the result of the time I sacrificed. All because there is no way to force a changeling to take their natural form. Isn’t that so, King Thorax?”

“That’s right. Sometimes we will revert when unconscious or dead, but not often.”

I ruminated on how lucky I had been when the disguise of Trixie’s doppelganger had failed after I had bucked her senseless.

The wizard tilted his head. “Let’s see exactly what we have here. Princess Apicula of the Southern Wastes Hive, wasn’t it?”

Thorax walked next to him and pointed. “No, she’s a queen now. Changeling royalty does not grow a crown until they lead their hive. Those wires on her head are not natural though… are they… going into her skull?”

The wizard narrowed his eyes at the unblinking changeling queen. “Mmmm… yes. I suspect they control her actions by implanting orders directly into her brain. Very nasty. No doubt including instructions to kill herself rather than be captured.”

I said, “Fortunately, time has stopped for her so that won’t happen, correct?”

Star Swirl turned to me and put on a condescending smile. “Actually, slowed down to the point where a single eye-blink takes her a decade. But if it’s easier to think of it as time stopping entirely, that’s fine.” He missed my eye roll as he turned back to face the captive changeling. “My plan to capture your would-be assassin worked perfectly, even if it took more than a week.”

I shared a glance with Thorax then said, “From what I remember of the meeting everypony attended, it was Stygian’s idea.”

Star Swirl waved a hoof. “Yes, yes. But it was my support and refinement of the plan that convinced everypony to adapt it, as I’m sure you agree.”

I wasn’t sure at all but decided not to argue the point.

The mage said, “Now Twilight, Thorax, and I will see about getting that bit of nastiness removed without causing any traps to go off or brain damage.” He smiled at me. “Shouldn’t be a challenge seeing as we have all the time in the world!” With a flash, I was alone in my chambers.

I walked to the door and rapped on it twice, then twice again. The doors opened, revealing Crimson Boulder.

I said, “Code Green.”

He looked into the empty room behind me then snorted. “Finally. I’ll have somepony sent to Gilded Tapestry’s house. With Hexbreaker also being found unharmed, I have high hopes that your servant’s bravery did not cost the mare her life.”

Behind Crimson, Storm Flag poked Soup Sandwich with a hoof. “If you wouldn’t mind? As in now?”

The unicorn regained his balance, turned to the pegasus mare, and his horn glowed. Her form shimmered, leaving a widely grinning thestral mare in her place.

I had sighed hugely in relief when I had heard that Penumbra emerged from the healing pod with a beautiful set of flawless wings that responded as well as ever to flight magic. However, they had ended up about twenty percent bigger than her previous pair. Twilight had not allowed Penumbra to return to duty until extensive testing showed no or only minimal adverse effects. As it turned out, the batpony had proved to be in perfect condition.

“Ahhhh!” Penumbra stretched her wings outwards, causing a couple of guards to duck out of the way. “Sooooo much better!”

I said in my most deadpan voice. “Please don’t knock holes in the walls with those things, Sergeant Penumbra. The castle is only so wide, you know.”

She returned a grin. “Yes. You should fear my larger and more powerful form now. Don’t believe everypony that says you can’t be trained.” I heard several choked-back laughs from my guards.

Oh, well. I should have known better, but I still had to try. Speaking of trying, time to change the subject. I asked Crimson, “When did you hear about Hexbreaker?”

He inclined his head down the hallway where Tempest Shadow was standing. She bowed her head respectfully.

When she raised it, she said, “My Liege, I take it the assassin has been killed or captured?”

“Captured,” I said, waving for her to follow me into my room.

Crimson Boulder and Penny entered before the unicorn mare. She dropped to one knee in a formal bow.

The rituals of subservience were something I could do without, but if it made the Commander of our Foreign Forces more comfortable, I could put up with it. “Report, General.”

She stood up and brought herself to attention. “It took a week to locate the changeling hive. I found a civilian contractor who had helped build the command center placed just outside the single hive entrance. From her, I learned the layout of the base and where the base commander would be located. The specialists the Triarchy loaned to me were essential. Colonel Dusky Wings flew me into the command compound undetected. I walked up behind the Abyssinian commander, telling him ‘The package has been delivered.’ He asked for clarification but I refused, saying he was either in the need to know or was not. I then demanded an inspection of the hive.”

I smiled. “So he interpreted that as meaning you successfully brought the assassin to Equestria.”

She shrugged. “Or he was confused enough to allow me to perform the tour while he decided what to do. Regardless, after the inspection, I asked to speak to all of the staff that could be freed from their duties. I praised their work for the Empire under trying circumstances and promised them a full month’s bonus payable as soon as they were relieved in twenty-four hours. That earned me a round of cheers from all but the commander. I believe he realized then that his mind had been made up for him, regardless his personal convictions. Loyal troops now occupy the hive and I have allowed the drone workers to begin repairing the damage made during the Storm King’s attack. I believe that made them even happier than the departing soldiers. Oh, and to answer your earlier question, three princesses live in the hive but none have had their molt to adult form.”

I held out a hoof which Tempest Shadow looked at for a moment before clopping with hers. “Fantastic work, Tempest. I speak for all the Triarchs when I say how proud we are. Is there anything we can do for you in return?”

Her smile remained unchanged but her eyes narrowed slightly. A single spark rose from her horn.

“Ah,” I said. “I got the latest report yesterday from Twilight and Thorax. They have made significant progress with the regeneration gel, as demonstrated by my personal guard, but there have been instances where the new growth is opaque to magic or deformed in some way.”

“I’d like to point out that ‘even more awesome’ does not count as ‘deformed’,” said Penumbra, flapping her wings once for emphasis.

I continued. “Awesome or not, Twilight hasn’t figured out why these anomalies happen. Also, all scar tissue needs to be removed before the process starts, so there is a finite number of times the treatment can be retried. In some cases, it can only be attempted once. She’s made progress with regrowing wings and legs, but she’s being much more cautious with horns because of the far greater density of magic that will need to flow through it. Considering how little is left of your horn, you’ll probably only get one shot at fixing it.”

The unicorn mare let out a small sigh. “So… progress, but still foolhardy to try now?”

I nodded. That summed it up nicely.

Tempest smiled. “Very well. I have waited this long. I can wait a bit longer.” Her eyes widened. “Ah! I almost forgot. The Storm King ordered a new, large chamber be constructed in the hive. It is filled with pods containing many of the former leaders of the cities and countries he had conquered. It seems the Storm King found a use for them after all.”

I was genuinely surprised. “Really? That will make returning them to independence much easier.”

The mare smiled. “My thoughts exactly. I would like to discuss with King Thorax how to do this in a manner that does not deprive the hive of its food source. All love gatherers had been placed in stasis pods by order of their captors. I cannot say whether the new queen cooperated with the Storm King out of her own free will.”

I tapped my head with a hoof. “That I can answer. She had a network of wires implanted into her skull.”

Tempest winced. “I see. An abomination doubtless created by the Overseer. Anyway, that is my full report. What are your new orders, My Liege?”

I smiled. “Take a break, General. You’ve earned it. Plan to meet with your Triarchs tomorrow after the morning session of Day Court. In the meantime, I know Trixie insisted on taking you to the Ponyville Spa as soon as you returned.”

For the first time, the unicorn mare looked uncertain. Her eyes darted around the room and her ears flattened onto the back of her head. “Ahhhh… I’m honored, but must respectfully decline, Your Highness. I just don’t do spas. The whole idea… simply doesn’t appeal to me.”

I grinned. “Don’t knock it until you try it. Consider this an order then. If you go quietly, I’ll see what I can do to talk Trixie out of you getting a hooficure.”

Tempest’s ears perked forwards again. “I would appreciate that. Thank you.”

I nodded. “Dismissed. Please report to Princess Trixie. Tell her I will meet her there.”

The mare again genuflected. “Immediately, My Liege.”

After she rose onto her hooves and trotted out of the room, I turned to Crimson. “Tell me. Is it raining outside?”

“There is no rain scheduled for today, sire.”

I smirked. “But you can’t be one hundred percent sure, now can you?”

Crimson finally got my meaning and he returned my smile. “No, Your Highness. Would you like me to be sure?”

I smiled wider, showing all my teeth this time.

The earth pony trotted up to the bricks that cut off the room from the balcony. I heard Penny say something disapproving but wasn’t paying any attention. With a well-placed buck, Crimson Boulder caused the entire wall to collapse. The sunlight streaming into the room blinded me for a moment but that didn’t stop me from rushing forward.

I leaped over a ducking Crimson and spread my wings fully.

“FREEDOM!”

Tartarus was not what I expected.

Instead of pits of lava and screaming, there were rocky outcrops and eerie silence. Well, excluding the happy panting of Cerberus. Thank goodness Twilight brought along a red rubber ball enchanted with invincibility and retrieval charms. Between the guardian’s slavering jaws and the seemingly bottomless crevasses that surrounded our path, the distraction wouldn't have lasted ten seconds otherwise. Fortunately, a few scritches and compliments from Fluttershy along with an hour of playtime earned the towering beast’s consent. Or at least, tired him out enough that he didn't mind if we visited the realm’s newest prisoner.

The fourth member of our group flew up to the Storm King’s cage. Queen Apicula had polished her leg armor to a fine sheen and the wounds on her head caused by the removal of the control mesh were fully healed. A well-thrown rock woke the yeti warlord and he glared at the changeling queen. That turned into a smirk as he regarded her.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Queen Apicula spoke first. “Your Overseer is dead, along with his followers. The prisoners you encapsulated in my hive have now returned to lead their cities and realms. The Southern Wastes Hive is rebuilding and will flourish.” She narrowed her eyes and scowled. “All you have done is now undone. You have failed.”

“Again,” I added with a cheery grin.

The Storm King’s smile vanished. He regarded both of us with a promise in his remaining eye. The yeti then turned away from us.

I exchanged a look with Apicula. She nodded in satisfaction and we started to head back.

Movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn to see Tirek waving at Twilight from the adjacent peak. “Hey! You over there! Bring me pizza the next time you come! Extra anchovies!”

I laughed. After what I fed him the last time, you’d think he’d know better by now!

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Art by Margony.

If you are enjoying this story please consider donating towards the rehabilitation of changeling queens by paying for a Ko-fi!

Chapter 74 - School Dazed

It was a glorious summery day and I was thoroughly enjoying the walk through Ponyville. I glanced at my bodyguard who was wearing her usual dark glasses and fanning herself with her recently enlarged wings. I smirked and said, “Penny, when I said that I could use some shade, I didn’t mean for you to do so for the entire town!”

She tipped her spectacles down and gave me a flat look. “You’re just envious that your featherdusters don’t work as well as mine. Add to that being a male with a tiny set of wings and I can see how that would make you... anxious.” She patted me reassuringly with an oversize wing. “Don't worry. I'm sure your performance is still just as moderately acceptable as it ever wasn't.”

I smirked. She had left me an opening to get her back. “I didn't realize you thought of me that way, Penny.”

Her smile was unchanged. “All mares think of all stallions ‘that way’. I just think about you...” She glanced at my wings. “... proportionately less often.”

I rolled my eyes. No she hadn't. I chuckled and we continued on our way, greeting friends as we went.

One big advantage that Twilight had while trying to build her school, attend to royal duties, and be a new mother all at the same time was that the new educational facilities were built right next to her castle in Ponyville. Thus, she only needed to teleport to Canterlot for a few four-hour sessions during the week and the rest of the time she could work out of her everyday office.

I got to see the progress being made each time I visited the little township and I was quite impressed. The local craftsponies had done a wonderful job, and I could see Rarity’s hoof in the décor. Earth ponies were currently ensuring that the new gardens would be fully established and ready for the grand opening.

One of Twilight’s biggest tasks was recruiting teachers for the new school. Although the focus would be on friendship-themed classes, of course it had to provide lessons on all the normal subjects as required by the Equestria Education Association, which I admit made a lot of sense. The trick was to hire educators who not only knew their respective subjects whether it was mathematics, magic theory, Equish, or history but were capable of teaching them in a way that all species could appreciate and to foster the spirit of cooperation among their pupils. The Element Bearers volunteered to donate some of their time to friendship-specific classes that focused on their particular virtues. Naturally, this would only be an hour or so each day because they all had their own regular jobs. Applejack, in particular, would have to fit it into her very busy schedule. It was a good thing that the farm mare liked hard work. I think Fluttershy would have it easiest because she could bring some of her beloved animals along as examples for her classes.

Two days before the school was due to open, Twilight asked me to come to her office. When I got there, the mare was fairly dancing on her hooves with excitement.

“Guess what?!” she said the moment I poked my head in the door of her office.

“You’ve been voted most photogenic changeling queen,” I shot back.

She paused and blinked before sticking her tongue out at me. “Don’t be silly! I didn’t even make the finals.”

We shared a chuckle before she continued.

“Silliness aside, I just got some great news. Dragon Lord Ember just confirmed that she will be sending a young dragoness to take part in the school program.”

“Awesome! I know you’ve been trying hard to convince her to include a dragon student.”

“It’s actually Spike who finally persuaded Ember. I think she felt she was doing a favor for a friend.”

“Your little brother deserves a lot of credit for all he’s done to support you, but I don’t think that’s why you asked me to come here today.”

Twilight nodded and sat down behind her desk, her expression grew a little more businesslike. “I want to steal Starlight Glimmer from you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Come again?”

Twilight sighed. “As much as I want to be hooves-on with my school, I know that I won’t have the time to spare to do it full-time. Therefore, I need an assistant headmare to take my place when I can’t be available. As my star friendship pupil, Starlight is a prime candidate, and because she has proven her organizational skills as your advisor, that makes her the perfect pony for the job.”

“I see. And what am I supposed to do for a replacement? Starlight was there at exactly the right time because I had no other good options then. Still don’t.”

“There are plenty of competent public servants—”

“Who won’t be suitable,” I interrupted. “Otherwise, you could recruit one of them as headmare. You and I both know from personal experience that the job requires something extra.”

Twilight nodded glumly. “I know, but that’s exactly why I need her. How about one of Thorax’s evolved drones? I know that there are several applying for positions in Canterlot.”

“What experience do they have? This isn’t exactly an entry-level job, y’know?”

“Good point.” Then she brightened. “I know! How about Sunburst? He’s an excellent researcher and a meticulous record keeper.”

I frowned. “I thought you wanted him as a teacher?”

“I do, but I need a headmare more.”

“How do you think he’d feel about the position? And besides, while his duties as Royal Crystaller have lightened, they haven’t gone away. If he’s in Canterlot all the time, he would not be able to fulfill that obligation. And that’s not even considering his own personal desires.”

The alicorn held up her forehooves and shrugged. “What else can I do? None of our friends can spare the time to do the job, and I’d run myself ragged if I tried to do everything myself.”

I gave the issue a bit of thought before replying. “As I see it, as Princess of Friendship, this school is a major part of your responsibility to Equestria. Therefore, shifting more of your time to it is the best thing to do for now. Trixie and I can handle the majority of the work back at Canterlot, although you could schedule meetings with us when major decisions requiring all three of us have to be made. Once we have a better feel of how everything is working out, we can revisit your idea. Also, if you find an outstanding candidate, you can ask an evolved changeling to shadow Moony, Glimmy, and Inky as they do their jobs.”

“So, no Starlight?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Not yet, at least. Besides, we still need to find out Starlight’s thoughts on the matter.”

“Not even if I offered Moon Dancer’s services?”

“Not fair to Moony. It’d take time away from researching which is her real love.”

Twilight sighed. “Okay, we’ll do it your way.”

“Cheer up, Twi,” I said with a grin. “Look at it this way – Trixie and I were running the country pretty well by ourselves before you joined us. The nation won’t fall apart just because you can’t devote your entire day to the Royal Court.”

The mare smirked. “We might still have Empress Trixie if I hadn’t challenged her. And she might never have decided to marry you either.”

“Maybe. We’ll never know for sure, will we? Even after seeing all those alternate worlds and the multitude of different histories, we can’t be certain. And frankly, I prefer it that way. Predictability is boring.”

“Exactly what I always say!” boomed Discord from the chair beside me that definitely had been empty a moment ago.

“If you always say that, doesn’t it make it predictable?” I pointed out.

He opened his mouth to reply, paused a moment to think about it, then shrugged. “Never mind. I’ve come to apply for the job?”

“As my advisor or headmare of the school?” I asked, aghast at the possibility of either.

“Yes,” he replied without clarification.

“No,” I replied.

“I’m afraid not,” Twilight replied more diplomatically. “While I’d like it if you were to come to a class and talk about your own journey to friendship, I regret that your nature is diametrically opposed to what we need in a headmare.”

Discord snorted and turned to me, abruptly transforming into a bearded unicorn wearing spectacles, white shirt, red tie, and black suit-coat. “Don’t discount me as a top-class advisor. After all, I ruled Equestria for several years by myself.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, until Celestia and Luna turned you into a statue. That’s called ‘a negative performance review’. Besides, I think there have been a few policy changes since then.”

“Everyone’s a critic,” he complained, his spectacles turning into spring-mounted googly eyes and his clothes into a clown’s outfit.

“Don’t worry, Discord – you still get to DM the next O&O session. I think that there are plenty of opportunities to show us what you can do then.”

He switched back to normal draconequus form but dressed in a thick robe with a hood that left his face in deep shadow. “You better believe it, O warrior maiden!” his voice came sepulchrally from the depths of the cowl. Then he disappeared in a flash.

“Warrior maiden?” Twilight asked with an eyebrow raised.

I shrugged. “It seems I can’t even play a role-playing game without being transformed into a mare,” I confessed.

The alicorn chuckled. “You have the strangest problems, Mark.”

“Don’t I know it!” I replied with a long-suffering sigh.

The long-awaited day had finally arrived and the School of Friendship opened with a lot of fanfare. I had never seen so many species gathered in one place before and, amazingly, with a minimum of fuss. I supposed that because all the students’ parents were open to the idea of a mixed-species institution that they were more tolerant of other races but even so, it was pretty cool. The students certainly seemed enthusiastic. Kids are so much more adaptable than grown-ups though.

Because Twilight wanted to maximize the exposure of each student to other species, when there were two or more of that kind or pony tribe, they were placed in separate classes and with a roommate from a different species. A last-minute admission was a single batpony colt. Apparently, it had taken that long to convince his parents that living on a daylight schedule would not be a problem for him. Twilight also kept the class size down to a minimum so that the teachers could spend more time with each student, especially those who might be having more difficulty than others. This way, the first year students were divided into three groups which seemed like a manageable start.

Trixie and I hung around only a little while after the first classes began as we needed to return to Canterlot. Royal duties awaited us and we were sure that Twilight would give us a full appraisal later about how the first day transpired, complete with the obligatory graphs and pages of supplemental material. However, when Twilight joined us for dinner that evening, she was a little more subdued than we expected.

“Anything wrong, Twi?” I asked.

“Umm… teething problems, I figure. Most of the standard lessons are proceeding as expected, but our friends have been complaining about the restrictions put on them for the friendship lessons.”

“Why are you restricting them if they’re the whole point of the school?” Trixie asked before I could do the same.

“Because the procedures of what we can and cannot do are strictly mandated by the E.E.A. rules. I structured the lessons around them and it’s up to us to make them work.”

I was afraid of this. I saw that dilemma coming from a mile away but I’d hoped that Twilight would find workarounds to get past these problems. Instead, it would seem that she had embraced the rules to the letter. Sometimes, I forget how much of a stickler for tradition she could be.

“What do you intend to do if you can’t make them work under the E.E.A. regulations?”

“But we must! Otherwise, the school will lose its accreditation.”

“Wishful thinking isn’t a plan, Sparkles.”

Twilight shook her head. “Friendships have grown in schools across Equestria for centuries under the E.E.A guidelines. Just because my school has gone one step further doesn’t mean that we can’t do the same.”

Well, it seemed she was determined to stay the course, so it was time to butt out and let this situation play out a little longer. I looked at my wife and she nodded in silent accord.

“The Great and Helpful Trixie and Stark Shells have faith in you, but we will be available if you need help.”

“Thanks, Trixie. You too, Mark. But don’t worry – I got this.”

Twilight arrived in the throne room with the usual flash of teleportation, badly startling the noble who was currently petitioning me for a tax break for a new factory that he wanted to set up to produce aluminum. I was not opposed to the idea, but knowing how polluting the process could be, I was not about to grant it without some very big strings attached. This was one world I would not allow to be despoiled by greed if it was within my power to prevent it.

All thoughts about the deal went out the window when I saw that the alicorn was crying. “Baron Glomgold – I will pass on your proposal to my analysts and get back to you soon. Court is adjourned!” I stepped down from the throne to embrace Twilight and she cried on my shoulder as the Royal Guards chivvied everypony out of the room.

When we were alone, relatively speaking – Penny and at least two Guards still remained, I asked my friend what was distressing her.

She sniffled and replied, “Chancellor Neighsay has canceled our accreditation and shut down the school!”

“What brought this on?” I asked gently.

“We were having an open day for parents to show what progress we had been making for the first week. Chancellor Neighsay was present to assess the school’s operations too. It was in the middle of the meeting when six students who should have been in class arrived unexpectedly. The fact that they were being truant was bad enough but one of them was Ocellus, a changeling, and she had been showing off a scary monster form to her friends. Now, I realize that they must have forgotten about the open day because they just barged in and caused chaos. By the time the situation was sorted out, the damage was done. Neighsay was appalled by all our failings from absentee students to the lack of discipline. He also scoffed at the idea that other races could live in harmony with ponies even though I pointed out there had been a community of griffons living in Canterlot for centuries, not to mention the village in the Smokey Mountains. And we’ve been trading with the minotaurs for years. But he would have none of that.” She continued to detail the incident for another minute and I think she would have said more but she had to pause to pant for breath. I felt it time to interject.

“What do you intend to do about it?”

“There’s nothing I can do!” she wailed. “Without accreditation, the school cannot reopen.”

“That’s what you think. We have a visit to make, Sparkles.”

She screwed up her face in puzzlement. “What? Where to?”

“The E.E.A., of course.”

She wiped the tears from her cheeks although they were still sodden from the soaking they had gotten. “What is that going to achieve? Neighsay has made his decision.”

“It’s time to drag them into the Twelfth Century*.” (*Since unification)

“Ah… okay. If you say so.”

I had another thought. “Oh, and would you send Spike a note asking him to gather all the students, teachers, and parents near the school’s entrance? Just in case.”

After she had quickly written out a scroll and sent it away, she looked up. “Umm… why are we just standing here then?”

I smirked at her. “Because I don’t know where the E.E.A. office is and you do. Care to do the honors?” I asked, gesturing for Penny to move closer to us.

“Oh. Right.” She lit up her horn and teleported us away.

My stomach did its usual flip-flop but it settled down fairly promptly. Twilight was trying to teach me how to do it for myself because that eliminated the side-effects. However, it was a hideously complex spell even though she performed it almost without thinking. She was the Alicorn of Magic though and I was a mere pegacorn. Even in my Marklestia form, the spell was still way above my pay grade.

We appeared to be in an outer office with a startled secretary seated behind a desk. I approached the mare and said, “Prince Mark Wells and Princess Twilight Sparkle here to see the board of the Equestrian Education Association.”

The secretary gathered her wits and said, “Do you have an appointment?”

“No, this is a surprise visit.”

“The board does not see anypony without a previous appointment,” she said primly.

“I see. Let me rephrase myself. Your Prince is demanding to speak to the board. I’ll give them five minutes to get their carcasses here before I send my aide to fetch them, ready or not.”

Penny always knew a cue when she heard it, and she stepped up to give the secretary a fang-filled snarl, flaring her oversized leathery wings for effect.

The mare went “Eep!” before dashing off down a corridor which presumably led to the offices of the board members.

I looked at Penny and noted her subtle tail swish. I said, “You enjoy that too much.”

“I rarely get to play ‘big mean fanged monster pony’, so I gotta make the most of it!” she replied smugly.

I chuckled and settled in to wait. Twilight looked a little stunned, but she usually did whenever I approached a problem in this manner. She’d cope.

I think it was only four minutes before the secretary returned and said, “The board will see you now.”

“Really? I didn’t see any ponies coming by,” I said.

“Their offices connect directly to the boardroom,” she replied, gesturing towards the double doors next to her desk.

“All the better not to have to interact with anypony, I suppose. Or any radical new ideas they might bring,” I said with a touch of contempt.

“Umm…” the mare started, but I didn’t wait for a reply. I gestured to Twilight to follow me and pushed through the doors. They swung shut behind Penny, leaving us in a gloomy chamber with raised seating along three walls and a pulpit on the back wall that towered over the others. Weak lighting let me see several mares and stallions sitting there, most of them quite elderly if my eyes didn’t deceive me in the poor illumination. Chancellor Neighsay occupied the high pulpit and his scowl was obvious.

A spotlight turned on suddenly to light up our group, dazzling us and making it even harder to look at the board members.

“What is the meaning of this unseemly demand on our time?” Neighsay said haughtily.

Ignoring him, I said, “What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?” With a pulse of my horn, I shot out the blinding spotlight. Then I turned to Twilight. “Can you provide us with some suitable illumination, please?”

She nodded and her horn flashed. Half a dozen softly glowing balls of light appeared and took up position around the room, gently but thoroughly illuminating the auditorium. I could better see how the seating arrangement was designed so that even Princess Celestia would have had to look up to the lowest board members. This was obviously designed to intimidate anyone who came to address the E.E.A. It was a pity for them that I didn’t take any crap like that.

I spread my wings and lifted up to the board members’ eye level and gestured to Twilight and Penny to do the same.

“What do you think you’re doing? How dare you—” Neighsay began to shout.

“SHUT UP!” I said in my best approximation of the Royal Canterlot Voice. An interesting little spell that. I learned it soon after I gained a horn. I think Neighsay was too surprised to not comply. I pointed to my head. “See this crown? That tells you that I’m the top authority in this meeting and you will stop trying to talk over me.” I then turned to Twilight again. “Any chance of giving us a platform?”

She smirked, getting into the mood I was setting. A moment later, a large table appeared beneath us and we settled down upon it. Neighsay was still well above us but, short of cutting that pulpit out from under him, there was little I could do about that – at least, physically.

“Good. Now that we have things organized a bit more reasonably, let’s get down to business. I demand that the E.E.A. show due cause for shutting down Princess Twilight’s School of Friendship.”

“Is that all?” Neighsay replied. “The Princess already has been given the reasons for my ruling. Multiple violations of the Equestrian Education Association’s rules as codified in the E.E.A. Teaching Guidelines book that she was provided.”

“Which book is this?” I replied coldly, although I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“This one.” He levitated one of the monstrous tomes over to me.

I gave it a disinterested glance. “Ah, yes. I took the opportunity to look through that when Twilight loaned her copy to me. I have seldom seen such a hidebound collection of anachronistic, obsolete, counterproductive, and even prejudicial material in my life.” I had lost a lot of sleep going over every one of the rules in that book, so I wasn’t just speaking hyperbolically.

Neighsay drew himself up and glared at me. “Those rules have served Equestria well for centuries!”

“That in itself should be a warning flag,” I countered. “Anything that old is certain to be badly out of date. I found references to intertribe courtesies that haven’t been used in generations, many of which would be considered insulting if used today. Yet those haven’t been enforced.”

“Well, of course not. Nopony follows those traditions nowadays.”

I tilted my head and frowned. “It’s puzzling then why you chose to invoke other rules which I would consider equally invalid. Why is that, chancellor?”

“Every guideline is made with the welfare of the students in mind.”

“How is closing Princess Twilight’s school of benefit to the students? As I heard it, among other complaints, you cited endangerment of ponies, but not specifically the pupils. The danger turned out to be nonexistent but you still canceled the school’s accreditation on that basis.”

“There were other infractions—”

“All of which happen at other schools, otherwise there wouldn’t be a need for truancy laws and the like. However, no other school has been shut down that I have ever heard of.”

Neighsay stood up, placed his forehooves on the railing and leaned forward aggressively. “It is within the E.E.A.’s purview to decide what constitutes an actionable offense. It was my decision that the School of Friendship did not meet the standards that this association is duty-bound to uphold!”

I narrowed my eyes. “Your decision? By what authority, may I ask?”

“By the authority of the charter enacted by Princess Celestia in the year 27 A.U.,” the stallion replied triumphantly.

I nodded. “I see. Celestia commissioned the Equestrian Education Association to standardize and codify education standards as required in that era. Do you know what I found when reading this pile of outdated drivel? Not one obsolete rule has ever been deleted. Oh, there have been plenty of new additions, but every ridiculous requirement that has no use in this day and age still remains but is generally ignored, only to be trotted out when it seems to suit the E.E.A. board members. The very definition of what is best for Equestria is massively underwhelming in the context of current events. And yet, not one of you…” I took a long look at the row of disapproving faces on the board. “…not even one board member seems to see anything wrong with that.”

“This board has served Equestria for centuries and we have the knowledge and experience to back up our decisions,” one elderly mare protested. “Ponies are the most educated of all the races of Equus.”

“While that may be true, I can see that most of you are moribund in your opinions. I don’t believe a new idea has successfully gotten past any of you in decades. I reckon you should reconsider your beliefs.”

“Your opinion is noted, Your Highness,” Neighsay said with a curl of his lip. “Nevertheless, we are the authority in this matter, and our decision stands.”

I started laughing.

The chancellor glared at me for a long moment before he shouted, “ENOUGH! What do you consider so amusing?”

I smirked at him. “Remember when I asked you by what authority you act?”

“Yes.”

“You confirmed that the association was commissioned by Princess Celestia. A royal commission. Such grants can be equally withdrawn by royalty at any time for failing to perform as desired. Let me put this in plain Equish for you, Chancellor Neighsay. I am your boss and I am firing you and every member of this board. The E.E.A.’s commission is hereby rescinded. The Triarchs will begin work on a replacement for it immediately. You may apply for a position on it if you wish, but I don’t like your prospects.”

The board members burst into an excited babble. “You… you can’t do this!” Neighsay squawked.

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “You know, you’re right. It takes a majority of the Triarchy to—”

“Seconded!” yelped Twilight.

I gave her a wink and turned back to Neighsay. “Sorry – still out of a job. Go home, ex-chancellor. You’ve got a résumé to write up. Come on, Twilight – we’ve both got work to do.”

A moment later, the three of us were in Ponyville in front of the school’s main gate.

Twilight began to giggle and that blossomed into howls of laughter. I let her get it out of her system before saying, “Are you okay now, Sparkles?”

She wiped the tears of relief from her cheeks that were sodden once more. “Never better, Mark. Thank you.”

“I ought to be mad at you, y’know?”

She quirked an eyebrow at me. “Why?”

“Do you have any idea how much more work you’ve given us now that we have to replace the E.E.A.? Whenever am I going to get a chance to play with my foal?”

She grinned back at me. “Don’t worry – leave it to the expert organizer. I’m already totally familiar with all the useful stuff in the E.E.A. manual. With the school year already started, all the hard work has already been done. Nothing major needs to be completed for a little while anyway.”

I inclined my head toward the glowing chains that bound the school door. “Just one major thing, O Head of Education Pro Tem.”

She nodded and lit up her horn. One powerful blast was all it took to shatter the bindings and a cheer came from the crowd that had gathered as soon as they had spotted us arrive. The alicorn then faced the students and parents and said, “The School of Friendship is officially back in business. I would also like to announce a change in the curriculum. With the E.E.A. now defunct, I will implement the full program that I had intended from the start.” She shot a grin at a particular sextet of students near the front that consisted of a male griffon, a female yak, a dragoness, a female changeling, an earth pony colt,and a female hippogriff. “And I promise that it will be a lot more enjoyable than it has been in the past week, so no more sneaking out of class, okay?”

There were some chagrined smiles and nods from the students.

I gave Twilight a nudge and asked quietly, “Those are the six who snuck out together?” When she nodded, I continued. “Seems like your friendship lessons might already be working if that disparate lot chose to hang out as a group.”

She gave me a pleased nod. “I know. That’s why they won’t be getting detention… this time.”

I chuckled and then spoke up. “Okay – you heard the Headmare. School’s in! Off to your classrooms. Parents – now you will get to see how your children really learn what friendship means.”

“Thanks again, Mark. You always seem to know what to do.”

I shook my head and lowered my voice. “Nah, sometimes it just takes a pigheaded stallion to bring a little hometown orneriness to the table. Friendship may be the best method but, when that fails, have a good backup plan and be prepared to kick ass.”

“What have you got against donkeys?” she asked with a puzzled frown.

I snorted with laughter. “Never change, my too-innocent friend. Now, I had better be going. I left a gaggle of petitioners cooling their fetlocks back in Canterlot.”

“I’ll teleport you two back,” she said and put words into action. Much quicker than me using a portal to get there!

Twilight paused and said, “I still want Starlight as an assistant, you know? I’m going to need her help more than ever now.”

“I’ll think about it,” I promised before the purple mare disappeared once more.

“Admit it,” Penny said. “You enjoyed handing Neighsay his butt.”

“Yeah, I did. Jerks like him deserve it. I’m just glad I was in a position to do something about it. I might not have wanted this job but it has its perks. As the saying goes – it’s good to be the king!”

“Prince,” she corrected.

“To-may-to, to-mah-to,” I replied. “Anyway, fun’s over. Thrilling adventures in tax relief await us!”

“Idiot,” she muttered as I mounted the dais.

My loyal subject!

I stopped in front of my throne as I heard galloping hoofsteps behind me. Starlight gave me a sheepish smile as she trotted up to the throne and took her place by my side. It seemed she had made productive use of the time I was gone. I leaned my head closer and whispered, “Twilight and I have something to discuss with you after Day Court.”

Her ears pricked forward and her smile turned wily. “Looking forward to hearing about it – all of it, not just the parts you think I need to know.”

I chuckled as I sat down on the throne and gave a signal to the Sergeant-at-Arms. With the likes of these two to keep me grounded, I sincerely hoped I’d never end up like former Chancellor Neighsay.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

I've been dying to write this scene for months. While Celestia could have accomplished the same thing a lot more diplomatically than Mark, she was her usual ineffectual self in the show. Somepony that experienced should have known better and certainly was in a position to do something about it.

Art by Vector-Brony.

Chapter 75 - Surf And Turf

I have yet to understand changeling queens. From Chrysalis to Carpacia and now Apicula, they all confused me as to their reasoning and desires. I had found out earlier that day that, as her liberator, the Southern Wastes Hive queen now felt she had an obligation to me. And yes, that included Apicula trying to appoint herself to serve as my advisor, despite the fact that the position was already filled. When she told me her intentions, we were in the privacy of my office. After recovering from my surprise, I told her that she could best serve Equestria by rebuilding her hive and allying it with Equestria under our authority.

“You would be our ruler?” she had asked, looking at me intently.

“Only if you wish. One option is for Equestria to annex the Southern Wastes territory and that would automatically make you citizens entitled to our royal support and protection.”

She nodded. “I expected that might be your response. You are always concerned foremost with the welfare of your little ponies and now for my changelings under your guardianship. You will make a fine mate.”

I had a coughing fit. “I… wait… what?”

She tilted her head and gave me a puzzled frown. “Did you not know that changeling queens mate with pony stallions?”

“Yes, but you already have three princesses.”

“They are my sisters; I need heirs. And did you know that almost all of my hive’s warriors were killed in its defense? Besides, a mating is required to stimulate egg-laying for the drones needed to replace those lost to the Storm King.”

That was something that Chryssy had neglected to tell me, and I realized that I had just virtually offered myself as a stud for Apicula because I misunderstood her. “I already have a wife and herd-mate!” I protested.

“Why does that matter? You pony stallions protest a lot but you still service your mares whenever you are asked.”

She had a point. By Equestrian custom, she had a right to ask, and she certainly had the social rank. The fact that she was a changeling rather than a pony was only a minor sticking point compared to how Trixie might feel about the matter. Not that this was completely without precedent. I had, after all, acceded to the pleading of the Plague-Dimension Trixie to be a surrogate for her deceased husband. Then again, I hadn’t been married at the time. “I’ll think about it,” I promised. “I need to talk to my wife about this.”

Apicula nodded. “I will expect your answer soon. Meanwhile, my eldest sister, Diadem, seeks experience working with ponies. I had been training her before we were invaded and I believe she could fit in well at the Royal Court.”

While I suspected that the changeling queen had mentioned her sister at this moment because I was flustered, nevertheless, I was happy to grasp the offered straw. “Sure, I reckon we can find a place for her. Just one proviso though.”

“And what is that?”

“She has to work in her natural form. No disguises. After all, we are trying to normalize the presence of changelings in our society. And don’t bother telling me that you’ve always been among us – I know. Logic does not play a part in that argument.”

Apicula smirked. “Yes, I noticed that tendency among you ponies.”

“And used it against us on many occasions, no doubt,” I replied.

She said nothing but her smile seemed smugger than ever.

As I had promised Twilight, Trixie and I took care of the majority of the royal duties while the alicorn concentrated on running the school. Our co-regent spent the first few weeks fine-tuning the classes after the E.E.A. had their authority to meddle taken away. Actually, that’s not quite right. The E.E.A. had their entire everything taken away. Their building got repurposed as a community fine arts center. Twilight’s duties at school and creating the new E.B.E. (Equestrian Board of Education) were certainly keeping the mare very busy. Therefore, when the weekends rolled around, my wife and I took it upon ourselves to ensure that Twilight relaxed for a couple of days. While our co-ruler was a workaholic, there was no point in letting her grind herself into the ground. And so, as was our wont, we dragged her to our favorite relaxing place – the Ponyville Spa.

Of course, that did not stop Twilight from languidly nagging me for Starlight Glimmer’s services. That the mare in question was also soaking in the big tub with us made no difference. My advisor seemed amused but I knew that she had been intrigued by the idea of becoming headmare of the School of Friendship ever since I had passed on Twilight’s intentions.

“Look, Twi,” I began, “I still haven’t found a replacement for Glimmy—”

“Not quite true,” Penny interrupted with a grin. For once, she was out of uniform and in the tub with us while Crimson Boulder had guard duty. Let it be known that, even in my Marklestia form, I could no longer match my bodyguard for the sheer volume of water thrown up by my wings. Regrettably, Aloe and Lotus showed no tolerance for our attempts to submerge each other one sheet of water at a time.

I frowned at Penumbra. “No matter how competent Queen Apicula might be or how much she wants the position, she’s not the right mare for the job.”

Both Trixie and Penny snorted in laughter and shared a knowing look. My wife said, “Trixie believes that is not the only position she wants from you.”

The batpony showed me all her fangs. “Let’s see… there’s reverse cowpony, eastern-facing weathervane, the hydra…”

Trixie added, “Diamond doggy, the hot seat…”

I dunked my head under the water so I wouldn’t have to listen to their overactive imaginations. Fortunately, they seemed to have run out of options by the time I had to resurface. “What I want to know is what is it about changeling queens? Cady reckons Chrysalis is flirting with me despite her rabid denials, Postgena also insists that it’s true, and now Apicula wants me to be her stud! What’s next – Carpacia coming over for a little nookie? Stop laughing! I’m serious!”

Every mare in the tub was chuckling over my discomfiture and I thought I could hear Aloe and Lotus giggling too. I suppose I had to be a little grateful though. Trixie had originally been a little terse about her response to the news. ‘It is your choice, Park Smells.’ Now, she was laughing along with the others. My dilemma might not be solved, but at least I wouldn’t be sleeping on the proverbial couch later.

As none of the mares offered a way out for me, I was forced to assume that they were all making it my own problem to solve. Sheesh! See if I help them out of a jam next time! I was going to have a good sulk when a familiar voice put that thought out of my head for the moment.

“COWABUNGA!”

Everyone with a horn threw up a shield to save themselves from the mighty splash as an exuberant black alicorn filly plunged into the middle of the tub. No matter how often she was scolded, Nyx still kept doing it. I blamed the Crusaders for teaching her how much she could get away with, and Twilight was way too lenient. Probably just as lenient as I would be if Gemini followed suit, admittedly. I looked forward to that day.

As the giggling filly surfaced, Twilight said, “Nyx, you know you don’t need to drench us to get my attention. Why do you keep doing it?”

“Because it’s fun to see your faces,” she replied with a grin.

The alicorn sighed. “You have a point. Anyway, what do you want that couldn’t wait until later?”

“I want to go to the School of Friendship.”

Twilight blinked. “Why? I thought you liked being in Cheerilee’s school with your Crusader friends.”

“I do, but they want to go to your school too.”

“Ah, I see. However, they don’t need to go to my school. They’re already ready and willing to make friends with any creature. After the lesson that they learned with Zecora, they’ve always been open to novel experiences, and that includes getting to know some of the species that are new to Equestria.”

“Yeah, but we hardly get the chance to talk to any of your students. They’re always holed up in the school and involved with some sort of friendship exercise,” Nyx said with a pout.

“Even on the weekends?” I queried.

Twilight replied, “The school provides a wide range of activities for the students so that they can indulge in and further the bonds of friendship. I suppose that they’ve been having too much fun to get out and about much as yet.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hmmm. Maybe that’s a little counterproductive. We want the foreign students to also get acquainted with the citizens of Ponyville and vice versa. The townsponies are pretty adept at adjusting to sudden changes, both big and small.”

“It’s early days yet,” my wife said. “The novelty will wear off and the students will start exploring new options. No matter how Great and Marvelous one of Trixie’s shows was, the audience members rarely came back for a fifth performance and she had to move on.”

Twilight blinked and then nodded. “You have a point, but maybe we can adjust things to encourage the students to go out and interact with the Ponyville citizens. Perhaps I could arrange a field trip with Cheerilee for her students to meet ours.”

“That’d be awesome, mom!”

The alicorn mare nuzzled her daughter and then raised her voice slightly. “Did you hear that, girls?”

“Yes, Twilight,” chorused a trio of young voices from out of view just beyond the edge of the hot tub.

We all chuckled. No one was surprised that the Crusaders had sent Nyx ahead to butter up her mother.

Trixie asked, “So how is your new colt faring?”

Twilight beamed. “Regis Novellus is the most curious foal I’ve ever seen or known! I turn around and he’s gotten into something else. I’ve had to foalproof the entire castle and he still gets into places he has no reason to be. Now I know to look for drawers pulled out to be used as stairs or a ladder. Plus I listen for his snores coming from every cabinet or box that was locked or sealed just the day before. On a couple of occasions, he’s gotten out of his crib, through locked doors, and even around some of the more benign wards I’ve set up. Given the construction of the Castle of Friendship, I’m beginning to suspect he’s a latent crystalmancer!”

She waved a hoof. “His latest obsession is Moon Dancer, or more specifically, the crystallized honeycomb that she keeps as a snack. Ever since she gave him a piece to sample, Regis has been tracking her down late at night during her study sessions. It doesn’t matter if she’s in the library, her room, or the kitchen; Moon Dancer is sure to find his expectant and cheerful face looking up at her.”

Twilight continued with a bit of a frown. “I thought about discouraging both of them, but at least this way, I always know where to find my foal around 1 AM: curled up on Moon Dancer’s back and snoring peacefully.”

I chuckled along with the other listeners. Trixie and I shared a look of understanding and a nod. While Gemini hadn’t been that much of a hoofful yet, we knew it was just a matter of time.

Nopony saw this coming. Twilight, Trixie, and I stared at the map table and the four cutie marks hovering over Ponyville. I already suspected that my plans for the coming week were going to have to be changed in spite of the fact that none of the floating symbols was mine.

“How soon do you think it’ll take them to get here?” I asked.

“Trixie wonders why they aren’t here already.”

Twilight said, “If they were at their clubhouse, which is where they typically are at this time on Saturday, then they’ll probably arrive right about—”

“TWILIGHT!” chorused four filly voices as their owners burst into the map room.

“—now,” Twilight concluded.

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Nyx, and Apple Bloom crowded around the table, pointing excitedly at their symbols above the map and the pulsating cutie marks on their flanks.

“It’s true!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“We’ve been summoned by the cutie map!” Scootaloo crowed.

“The Crusaders have a mission!” Apple Bloom said proudly.

“Where do we have to go, mom?” Nyx asked.

“Let’s see,” Twilight replied, focusing on the map. It zoomed in until it was over the School of Friendship, specifically the courtyard. The alicorn raised her eyebrows. “Does one of the students have a friendship problem? That doesn’t make sense! The whole point of the school is to teach ways of dealing with them.”

I said, “Obviously, there’s something we’re missing. No point in speculating though – let’s go there and see if we can help narrow it down for our junior Friendship Problem solvers.”

Twilight said, “The students are my responsibility so I have to go, but you don’t, Mark.”

I shrugged. “I’m an honorary Crusader, so why not?”

My wife lounged on Twilight’s crystal throne and put her rear hooves on the table. “Trixie will monitor the situation from here, Earmark Clamshells.” She tilted her sun hat over her eyes and yawned.

Scootaloo grabbed one of my forelegs and started dragging me toward the door. “Right! Now, let’s stop wasting time and get on with it.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Alright, girls, I know you’re excited to get your first Friendship Mission, but try to curb your normal overabundance of energy. This is a serious task.”

“We know, Twilight,” Sweetie Belle replied, “but the map table didn’t summon any adult pony for the job, just us!”

I smirked at the alicorn. “She’s got you there, Sparkles.”

My co-ruler did not dignify my comment with an answer as we exited the castle and made a left turn towards the School of Friendship.

It has been my experience that it’s seldom obvious what the friendship problem could be. Even in Our Town, although the problem was pretty blatant, it had still taken the Elements and me some time to identify the root cause. However, I think the Crusaders got a lucky break this time. While most students were elsewhere engaged with one of Twilight’s many activities, a somber male hippogriff was sitting in the central courtyard staring at some papers held in one of his talons. The foals obviously had the same thought as me because they took one glance at each other, nodded, and then charged over to talk to the student.

“Hi!” Nyx said.

“We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Apple Bloom added with a smile.

Scootaloo said, “You look like you have a problem.”

Sweetie Belle held out a hoof. “Can we help?”

The hippogriff looked at the four and then up at Twilight and me. He shook his head. “Thanks, but I don’t think you can.”

“You can at least talk about it,” Apple Bloom encouraged. “Mah big sister always says it’s best to get yer troubles off’n yer chest. What’s yer name?”

The hippogriff sighed. “I suppose it can’t hurt. I’m Terramar. Me and my sister, Silverstream, were sent here as students. She loves it at school but I get a little homesick. So our parents send me letters to keep me up to date with the news back home.”

“Are those the letters?” Nyx asked, pointing to the papers with a wing.

Terramar nodded. “I got them both in today’s mail.”

“That’s good though, isn’t it?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, but they both want me to come home next holiday to stay with them.”

“Why is that a problem?” Sweetie asked.

“Because I can’t decide which one to stay with.”

Oops! It looked like his parents were separated. This sounded more like a counselor’s job than the Crusaders’, but I didn’t even get a chance to open my mouth before Apple Bloom spoke up.

“Okay, girls – seems like we done found ourselves our mission.”

She held a hoof up in the air and the other three joins theirs to hers. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Friendship Problem Solvers!” they chorused.

Terramar looked a little bewildered. “What’s going on?”

Scootaloo said, “We’re going to help you figure out your problems. Don’t worry because we’ve been summoned for this so you know it’s going to work out.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Well, obviously we have to go there and see the situation for ourselves,” Sweetie replied.

“But the holidays don’t start until next fortnight and it takes a day by train just to get there.”

Nyx turned to Twilight and gave her the puppy-dog eyes. “Please, mom, can we go to Terramar’s home?”

Twilight put a hoof to her forehead and groaned. “You four really shouldn’t because you’ll miss out on school for at least two days.”

“Pleeeeaaase, Twilight!” the four fillies pleaded.

“Even if I said yes, you can’t travel there by yourselves, and I can’t go because I have too many responsibilities here at the school,” Twilight objected.

I said, “I’m already going to be headed down that way with Queen Apicula to pick up her sister, Diadem. We could leave sooner and do that on the way back. It’ll give me an excuse to touch base with Queen Novo and introduce her to Apicula too.”

Twilight glared at me for pulling the rug from under her.

“Sorry, not sorry, Sparkles. I’m curious to see how this is going to work out.”

The alicorn groaned. “If this wasn’t an official Friendship Problem from the Cutie Map, I would say no—”

“We’re going!” Scootaloo crowed.

“—But… Mark’s in charge of looking after you so, while it’s not his mission, you will pay attention to what he tells you.”

“Okay, mom.” Nyx gave Twilight a hug.

The other three also hugged the alicorn and thanked her.

Twilight said, “You three, let your families know what’s going to happen. I’ll make some arrangements in the meantime and will let Cheerilee know that you’ll be absent for at least Monday and Tuesday. Expect her to give you homework to do on the train.”

Coincidentally, each of the fillies developed a horrible toothache right then. That’s the only explanation I could come up with for their piteous moaning.

The purple alicorn then turned to the confused hippogriff. “Terramar, you’re excused from classes until you return. Since the map table believes it to be so important, I suggest you focus on this family problem. I’ll talk to your teachers. You can catch up on your homework when you return. Don’t dawdle though.”

“Yes, Headmare. I don’t know what these fillies can do to help, but it’ll be nice to go home, even if it’s just for a little while.”

Twilight then gave me a sly smile. “And since you won’t be needing your advisor for a few days, Starlight can spend that time getting to know how the school runs.”

My ears drooped. Suckered again.

When the train from Canterlot stopped at Ponyville station, Queen Apicula greeted me regally as I entered the Royal Carriage. I settled down on a couch and the changeling queen sat by my side. The placement was not lost on me but I chose to ignore it. She was accompanied by a contingent of Royal Guards who had escorted her to Canterlot station. They had been there more to prevent some skittish ponies from panicking at seeing a changeling queen waiting for the train than to protect her. I dismissed them, leaving just Penny and Crimson Boulder. Apicula eyed Terramar and the fillies who had followed me into the carriage.

“Are these younglings lost?”

I grinned and shook my head. “Nope. They’re the reason for our change in plans. Don’t worry – they have their own sleeping compartments but, for now, they’ll be traveling with us.”

“You are a strange royal, Prince Mark Wells.”

“Comes from rising from the peasantry, Your Majesty.”

She rolled her eyes but said nothing more, so I introduced the “younglings” to her with the exception of Nyx whom she had already met. This was reinforced when they greeted each other with a complicated series of hoof clops done so quickly that I could barely follow their movements. I then filled her in on the nature of map table missions and the CMC’s in particular. I had left those details out of the message sent to Canterlot warning Apicula about the altered itinerary. After I was done, she made two surprise announcements.

“I have learned much during my talks with the Triarchy, in particular, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s research teams. You have already benefitted from my hive’s advanced magitek,” she said as she indicated my crown. “It seems to me that you would find uses for many of our other inventions. So, in gratitude for saving me and my hive, I am gifting the Equestrian Crown with all of the Southern Wastes Hive’s most sophisticated devices. They will be accompanied by our most brilliant scientist and inventor.”

“That is most generous of you. I’m sure that Equestria will be better for them.” I chuckled. “Not to mention sending Twilight into a tizzy with delight.”

“No doubt,” Apicula barely cracked a smile. She really needed to lighten up a bit. She continued, “On another subject, as you are aware, I have been insisting on convening an emergency session of the Council of Queens because of the recent rapid changes to society. I have been coordinating with the other changeling hives across Equestria and Hivemother Twilight Sparkle jumped at the opportunity. She has given me her full support and offered to host the meeting at Friendship Castle. However, she has insisted that her husband be allowed to attend. Queen Carpacia agreed to Twilight Sparkle’s proposed meeting without comment. Queens Polistae and Sanguine Dreams objected but nevertheless agreed once we acceded to their demand that King Thorax not be allowed to vote.”

That gave me the impression that the two queens I had yet to meet, Polistae and Sanguine Dreams, would rather pretend the existence of a changeling king was something to be ignored. Knowing Carpacia’s dry sense of humor, I suspected she intended to further obliterate a thousand years of tradition that guided the changeling queens. If Carpacia had to swim without a life vest, why not force the other hives to do the same? “Sounds promising. If we are going to successfully integrate changelings into the new society, it’s important that every hive is part of the discussion.”

“If it was that simple, we would be halfway there. However, while the queens will represent all changelings, it’s equally important that ponies and other Equestrian citizens be represented. Therefore, I insisted that you and Princess Trixie be allowed to attend. That’s where the proposed council nearly fell apart but I persisted. With Twilight Sparkle and Carpacia’s support, the vote was three to two in favor of the proposal. However, there is no way to force Queens Sanguine Dreams or Polistae to attend. In the end, after I pointed out that the precedent of non-voting attendees had been their idea, they agreed, but only on the condition that Queen Chrysalis be included.”

“Which one suggested that?”

“Sanguine Dreams.”

I grimaced, my ears lowering. “Sounds like she thinks that we’ll refuse, giving them both an excuse not to come.”

“You or Princess Trixie certainly can veto the Council on that basis if you so choose.”

I shook my head. Once again, the mares around me had made all the relevant decisions. However, I certainly wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to normalize relations with two more changeling hives. “If that’s what it takes to get them all together, then Chrysalis can attend. Trixie might not like it but I think she’ll support my decision.”

Apicula nodded. “Good.” She hesitated for a moment before continuing diffidently. “With respect, may I suggest that you attend in your mare form?”

I could see the sense in that idea even if I’d prefer that they dealt with my normal gender. “Anything to appease the Queens. A minor concession like that won’t make any difference to our goals.”

“Then it’s settled. Once Princess Trixie is informed and gives her formal consent, I will coordinate with everyling to set the date for the Council of Queens.”

Terramar was the only one amongst the children to have made this long journey before but it hardly made a difference to him. Along with the four fillies, he spent much of the journey watching the passing scenery before night fell. However, that didn’t stop the Crusaders from talking with him in the hope of getting more information to solve the Friendship Problem. They quickly found out that while his father was a hippogriff, his mother was a seapony.

“I don’t get it,” Scootaloo said. “If your mom’s a seapony then you obviously can’t stay with her.” She frowned in puzzlement. “Actually, how can she even be your mother?”

It still was not common knowledge that the two races were actually different aspects of a single one. I spoke up, giving Terramar a wink. “Wait and see, girls. I think you’ll be surprised.”

The young hippogriff caught on and grinned back. It would let him have some fun showing off their ability to swap between species. Maybe the fillies would get the chance to see what it was like to be a seapony too as Trixie and I had done on our honeymoon.

After dinner was served up to us by the royal chef who had accompanied Apicula from Canterlot, I let the foals play a few games before chasing them off to bed. If I had timed it right, they wouldn’t wake until after sunrise. That would give them a chance to freshen up and have breakfast before we arrived at the Mount Aris station. Apicula was a little surprised at the casual chat that I enjoyed with Penny, Crimson, and Chef Brandy Flambé over a delightful white chocolate fondue and a glass of ice wine. Despite all she had learned about me, the changeling queen still had difficulty comprehending my preference for informal relationships with my underlings when I was “off the clock”. True, I was the bane of the Royal Guard and EUP officers who needed to maintain discipline amongst their troops, but nothing instills loyalty and camaraderie like being one of them. Penny had not hesitated for an instant to protect me from the petrifying spell, I think in part because of our personal bond. Her bravery earned her a promotion to lieutenant. Perhaps none of my other guardsponies would ever need to do so, but I knew they would if they had to. Besides, I’d rather have a drink and a laugh with them than put up with being treated deferentially all the time. That wore thin on me very quickly, hence why I reserved that mostly for when I was on duty. By now, all the regular guards knew when and where they could put aside their helmet and call me by name rather than title. I think the good humor and a couple of glasses of wine managed to loosen up Apicula a bit eventually, but she was still scandalized when we finished the evening with a game of Cards Against Ponanity.

When I retired to my sleeping compartment, I did not expect a knock on my door shortly afterward. Answering it, I saw Penumbra standing there with a frown on her face.

“What’s wrong, Penny?”

Her eyes shifted to the side and I noticed Apicula waiting to the side in the corridor. “Her Highness insists on talking to you alone.”

“I see.” I had a suspicion about what she wanted but I reckoned I’d better deal with it now. “Okay, let her in.”

Penny stepped aside to let the changeling enter and then closed the door behind her.

“What can I do for you, Apicula?”

“Now would be a perfect time for us to mate.”

Blunt and to the point. Also not unexpected. With Trixie being absent, the changeling queen would see this as the ideal time to do the deed and she would be right except for one thing.

“I regret that I cannot agree to us mating.”

Apicula frowned. “Why not? You would be an ideal sire and it would strengthen ties between us politically.”

“Because I don’t use my offspring as political pawns. Nor do I wish to be an absentee parent. Your child would be a changeling princess and, although I believe we could raise her in Canterlot to be a happy and healthy individual, your stated intention is to produce an heir who would need to grow up in the hive and learn how to rule one day. I could not be there for her and I am not the kind of pony who can sire a foal and not have a relationship with her.”

The changeling queen pursed her lips. “I believe you are making a mistake if your goal is to make closer ties between ponies and changelings.”

“There are other ways to do that than conceiving children together. You changeling queens have been doing that for centuries without furthering that cause, so it’s time you began considering alternatives. For one, you can stop regarding your hive as being totally apart from all others. As far as I can determine, each hive has as little interaction with the others as you can possibly get away with. That should change. This coming Queens’ Council is your golden opportunity to start working together towards that goal. And one more thing – there’s already one hive that is making the transition.”

“You are talking about King Thorax’s hive,” Apicula said.

“Correct. And if you want to have a suitable sire, may I suggest that Thorax might be qualified?”

The queen looked shocked. “But he’s not a pony stallion!”

“So what? As far as I can see, the only reason queens don’t mate with changeling princes is that there have never been any. Now one has evolved and, to be honest, he’s superior to you.”

“Because he and his colorful drones are more appealing to pony sensibilities?” Apicula scoffed.

“Well, there is that, but the real reason is that he and all the evolved changelings of his hive can generate their own love. They are no longer dependent on harvesting it from other species.”

The changeling queen stared at me intensely, her mouth slightly open and tongue licking her lips. I recognized this behavior as tasting my emotions and she quickly confirmed it.

“I cannot detect any deception from you and yet I find it hard to credit that this is possible.”

I shrugged. “What you choose to believe is irrelevant. If you had spent more time studying Thorax and the evolved changelings instead of me and the castle’s security, you might have found that out for yourself. For now, though, you’ll just have to take my word for it. That changeling king probably represents the best hope for your kind in the future.”

“He has not impressed me as a strong ruler in the few brief meetings that I have had with him.”

“I admit that he’s not who I would have chosen as a leader, but he did wrestle control of his hive away from Chrysalis. He also achieved something that no other of his kind had done – independence from ponies for the sustenance of his hive. That’s a precious commodity in the midst of sameness. You need someone to stir things up, look at things a different way, and bring life into a stagnant society. If you’re not careful, Thorax’s hive is going to leave yours and every other hive in the dust of history. Adapt or die.” I used my horn to open the compartment door. “Think hard about what I have said, Queen Apicula. For now, I bid you good night.”

Thankfully, she took the hint and departed. Penumbra raised a questioning eyebrow and I shook my head. “I doubt that she’ll come back but if she does, the answer is still ‘no’. I’m going to bed now, so I don’t want any more disturbances barring emergencies. Have an uneventful evening, Penny.”

The batpony smirked. “Pleasant dreams, Your Hardness… I mean Highness.”

My face must have been burning as I swiftly closed the door.

After breakfast the next morning, the fillies were back to watching the ever-changing scenery and discussing things known only to themselves. While the train had stopped at Klugetown, that happened after they were asleep so the children had not been tempted to get out and have a look around. It was not the safest city to be in even after Tempest had established a garrison there. I would have to keep a closer eye on the Crusaders on the way back though because it would be daytime when we passed through.

It wasn’t long before Mount Aris hove into sight. Pegasi, and apparently hippogriffs, have superior eyesight, so Scootaloo and I were soon able to make out details. Terramar started pointing out the features to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom as they became clearer. I was relieved to see that it looked unchanged from my previous visit. There had not been any reports of destruction when the Storm King’s forces invaded on the same day that he attacked Canterlot. We hadn’t been sure if it was because there was little or no damage, or because the hippogriffs were too proud to say anything about it.

Sweetie turned to me, practically vibrating with excitement. “Can we go visit Harmonizing Heights as soon as we get to Mount Aris? Terramar makes it sound so amazing!”

I grinned. “We’ll get there soon enough, but first I have to pay a visit to Queen Novo.”

“But that’s got nothing to do with the Friendship Problem,” the unicorn filly whined.

“Maybe not, but as a ruler of Equestria, it would be gravely insulting of me not to pay a formal visit to Her Majesty, even for a minor occasion such as this. Don’t worry – it shouldn’t take long.”

“Perhaps Terramar can show us around while you’re doing that?”

I gave her a flat look. “Young lady, you know as well as I do that you’re only able to do this because I am here to chaperone you. While this may be Terramar’s home, this is unknown territory for you. Just be patient. You have plenty of time to see the sights and, of course, work on your Friendship Problem.”

The unicorn filly pouted but nodded. With a sigh, she turned back to the window.

When we pulled into the station at the end of the line, a small contingent of hippogriff guards was waiting on the platform for us. Or more particularly, for one of the rulers of Equestria. Word had been sent ahead to expect me and my group, so the honor guard was not a surprise. I saw a familiar face among them as I disembarked.

“Captain Stratus Skyranger! Good to see you again.”

He gave me a tight smile. “And you too, Your Highness. Queen Novo is expecting you and will see you immediately.” He looked at the four fillies. “And these are the foals who are on some kind of quest, I believe?”

I nodded. “Yes, along with Terramar who is apparently at the center of whatever the problem might be.”

Stratus raised an eyebrow. “Indeed? I was not aware that we had any problems large enough to warrant a visit from one of the Equestrian Triarchs.”

“While I’ll be touching base with Her Majesty to see how everything has been going since the Storm King’s defeat, I’m mostly here as just the fillies’ foalsitter.”

“I see. I think. The fillies must be important if they rate a royal chaperone.”

I chuckled. “They’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and I’m an honorary one too.”

Stratus looked more confused than ever. After a few blinks, the Captain apparently decided to quit while he was still behind. He gave a shrug and said, “Please follow me. We must not keep Queen Novo waiting.”

He led us to a carriage which we all boarded before being taken to the palace. Judging by the expressions on the faces of the four Crusaders, I think they were sufficiently distracted by the sights for the moment. Hopefully, the queen would not drag out the visit. Last time I had been here though, she tended to be short and to the point, so I was optimistic.

We were led straight to the great hall and into the throne room. I came to a halt at the base of the dais and gave Queen Novo a short but respectful bow. “A pleasure to see you once more, Your Majesty.”

She smiled and replied, “The pleasure’s mine, Prince Mark Wells. How is your wife? I’ve heard that you have been blessed with a foal?”

“Princess Trixie is doing well, thank you for asking. She is currently looking after Gemini, our little one, while I am engaged on this trip.”

“Did you have a filly or a colt? Reports were unclear on that for some reason.”

“We had both.”

“Both? Twins? I thought you said you had one foal?”

“We did. Apparently, Gemini inherited my form-changing ability. They can be either a unicorn filly or a pegasus colt, depending on their mood.”

Novo stared at me for a long moment before she started to chuckle. “You were always an unusual stallion, Prince Mark Wells. I can see that your family is going to be equally interesting.”

“I certainly hope so, Your Majesty.”

The hippogriff queen then looked at Apicula. “And this is a changeling queen, I believe?”

I replied, “Yes. Let me introduce Queen Apicula of the Southern Wastes Hive. She is currently making arrangements with the Triarchy for an alliance between her hive and Equestria.”

“I see. As Prince Mark Wells vouches for you, I welcome you to my kingdom.”

Apicula stepped forward and inclined her head in modest acknowledgment of the queen. “Thank you, Your Majesty. If it pleases you, I would like to have some initial discussions about mutually beneficial services while I am here. Perhaps while Prince Mark Wells is otherwise occupied?”

Novo raised an eyebrow. “How curious. You are unlike what I have heard about changelings, King Thorax’s hive notwithstanding.”

“Times change and so must we to survive and progress.”

“Wise words.” Novo then turned back to me. “So, what brings you to Mount Aris and Seaquestria, Your Highness? Your missive spoke of some kind of quest?”

“Specifically, a Friendship Problem that the map table in the Castle of Friendship assigned to these four fillies.” I beckoned for the fillies to come forward. “You may already know of Princess Nyx, Twilight Sparkle’s adopted daughter. These are Nyx’s best friends and fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders – Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.”

Each of the fillies curtsied and didn’t speak out of turn. I mentally gave them a tick of approval.

I continued, gesturing towards the last of our party. “These four will be helping Terramar resolve his problem.”

Novo frowned a little. “Terramar… Aren’t you one of the youngsters that I sent to Twilight Sparkle’s School of Friendship?”

“I am, Your Majesty.”

“I hope that the school is not the cause of your problem this time?”

“Oh, no! School’s great. It’s something a lot more… personal.”

Novo seemed to weigh his words for a moment before smiling. “Then I wish you all good fortune. Prince Wells, I will assign Captain Skyranger to accompany you and your charges. You are free to visit wherever you wish, but I hope you will return to the palace in time for dinner. I have ordered a banquet to be prepared. You and I can talk at leisure then about other matters.”

“You are too kind, Your Majesty.”

Novo said, “And before I forget, the secret of the hippogriffs is no longer such. Enough beings became aware during our flight from the grasp of the Storm King that it is no longer practical to expect the knowledge to remain hidden any longer.”

I nodded. I certainly knew how that felt. “Just like what happened with too many sightings of ‘Celestia’ some months back. Very well. I will inform my wife that you are releasing us from our oath.” I glanced behind me to see the fillies looking between each other with furrowed brows. Likewise, Crimson Boulder stole a glance at Penumbra, who smirked and gave a slight shaking of her head.

I smiled and turned back to Novo. “With your permission, we will depart now so that the fillies may begin their quest.”

“Very well – we will await your return. Enjoy your visit. Queen Apicula, let us converse in my private sunroom.”

I bowed and turned. As we walked away from the throne, I said, “Okay, girls – now for the fun part. Told you it wouldn’t take us long, Sweetie.”

“Can we go to Harmonizing Heights now?”

“Don’t look at me; Terramar is your guide from this point forward. This is your quest. You four and he call the shots.”

“Yay!” The four fillies began one of their famous cries. “Cutie Mark Crusader Friendship Problem Solvers!” They clopped hooves and charged out the throne room. Terramar seemed to be fully on board as evidenced by his taking wing to keep pace. So much for palace decorum.

I looked at Stratus and said, “I suppose we had better catch up before we lose sight of them.”

He nodded and broke into a canter along with me. “At least we know where they are headed.”

Fortunately, there was much to grab the attention of the Crusaders along the way and, despite Sweetie’s rush to see Harmonizing Heights, the other three were prepared to stop and observe a lot more, usually with Terramar explaining points of significance. Some kind of ceremony and aerial display particularly caught their attention. I think that was new since my previous visit. It was obvious that the hippogriffs took great pride in their home and culture. I wondered how it would stack up against the seapony way of life. It turned out that Terramar’s father was one of those taking part in the ceremony. Sky Beak was a little surprised to see his son but pleased that he could visit for a while. I promised him that we would all come back and see him later that day, but for now, we had to move on.

Even I was surprised at the sheer exuberance Sweetie manifested when we got to Harmonizing Heights. The beautiful foliage and enchanting notes created by wind blowing through the rock formations made the area just as wonderful and captivating as when Trixie and I had strolled through here, but I reckon the unicorn filly was totally entranced by it. Apple Bloom was almost as bad. It took some effort to drag them away so that they could investigate the lifestyle of Terramar’s mother next.

All the fillies were surprised when the young hippogriff not only led them to the beach but also began wading into the water. Penny glared at the fillies and me from the sand, knowing what was going to happen but refusing to be part of it this time.

“I call Senior Bodyguard privilege – it’s Crimson’s turn,” she insisted. “Leave your armor but take your sword and belt.”

Crimson Boulder had no idea what she was talking about but shrugged and followed me into the sea after heeding Penny’s instructions.

“Are we supposed to swim somewhere to see your mom?” Scootaloo asked. “Wouldn’t it be easier in a boat?”

“Not to where we’re going,” Terramar replied. He turned to look at the large hippogriff guard. “Captain, would you help me, please? There are too many for me.”

“No problem, young one. The queen has put me at your party’s disposal, so long as Prince Mark Wells is part of your group.”

“What’s going on?” Nyx asked.

“Wait and see,” I replied. I nodded at Stratus and he and Terramar reached for the pearls on their necklaces.

Moments later, we were all seaponies and slipped beneath the surface. As expected, I assumed my Marklestia seapony form as had happened previously, so I was completely prepared for this. The fillies were all reacting to the change though, but none more so than Scootaloo.

“This is awesome!” She zoomed off and swam circles around us. Unlike me, she took to her new form like a fish to water. Okay, that was a silly comparison even if appropriate. She was whooping and hollering as she cavorted through the sea and leaped through the waves.

“This is what it must feel like to fly!” the filly yelled.

The others had found their fins and started trying to match the exuberant filly. Nyx was soon gamboling with Scootaloo just as enthusiastically. As for me, my attention was on Crimson Boulder as he struggled to cope with his seapony body. I chuckled at his efforts even as I recalled that I was probably just as bad the first time. I did a roll around him and tickled him with my tail fin.

“Take it slow and easy, Crimson. You’ll get the hang of it if you stop fighting your instincts.”

“You knew this was going to happen?” he growled.

“Yep. Trixie and I honeymooned here, remember?”

“You could have warned me.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“How can I be a proper bodyguard for you when I’m like this?”

“Consider it a training session.” I flicked his nose with a fin. “Or payback for all the humiliations in the arena.”

“Arrgh!” He lunged for me but I slipped out of his reach with ease.

Stratus was watching with some amusement and I gave him a wink. “Better keep an eye on Crimson. I think he’s going to need more help than any of the foals.”

He chuckled and said, “I’ll do that, Your Highness.”

Meanwhile, Terramar was trying to rein in the fillies. “Come on! If you’re going to meet my mom, we need to go now.”

The young seapony led the way, closely followed by the girls. Stratus and I brought up the rear, helping Crimson along by distracting him from thinking too much about what his body was doing. The group slowed up a bit as the fillies took in the wonders of the undersea city of Seaquestria but, eventually, Terramar led us to one of the unusual structures that the seaponies called home.

Opening a side panel, he yelled, “Mom! I’m home!”

An adult seapony mare turned to see who was there and her eyes widened in surprised delight.

“Terramar!” She swam up to give her son a hug. “What are you doing here? School holidays aren’t for weeks yet.”

“I know. Something came up and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are here to help. Fillies, this is my mom, Ocean Flow.”

“Pleased to meetcha!” Apple Bloom said while the others nodded enthusiastically.

Ocean Flow then noticed me hanging back. “Oh! You’re Princess… uh… Prince? You’re Mark Wells, aren’t you? To what do I owe the honor of this visit?”

I shook my head with a smile. “Don’t mind me, ma’am. I’m just chaperoning the foals at the moment as a favor to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Enjoy your son’s visit.”

She turned back to the others. “Well, since you’re here in time for lunch, let me treat you to some delicious Seaquestrian food. Terramar – I have some of your favorite squid in the pantry.”

“Oh boy! Guys – you gotta try this!”

“You’re invited too, Your Highness,” Ocean Flow said to me.

“Thanks, but Queen Novo is throwing a banquet for me later. I’ll wait until then to eat. I think you’ll have your hooves… er, fins full with these foals.”

I did end up trying a sample of the squid at Terramar’s insistence. Who knew you could marinate seafood underwater? He was right – it tasted great!

Our return to the beach was slowed up by Scootaloo who was a bundle of boundless energy and kept having to be herded back to the group, usually by Sweetie Belle who appeared to have had enough of the sea. The pegasus filly didn’t want to change back but I levitated her out of the water and Terramar transformed her with the others. She pouted as the Crusaders gathered on the beach. Terramar’s mother had accompanied us to the shore and she gave her son a parting hug just as a flock of hippogriffs came in for a landing nearby.

“There you are, Terramar,” Sky Beak said. “We were about to begin some games and I thought you and your friends might like to join in. I see you’ve introduced them to your mother though.” He gave the seapony a fond smile.

Ocean Flow said, “We chatted over lunch. Terramar has been enjoying his time at the School of Friendship.”

Sky Beak nodded. “Our decision to send him and Silverstream there was a good one then.”

They continued chatting while Terramar joined the Crusaders.

“Now you see why I can’t choose between mom and dad to stay with one of them,” he said with a sigh. “They’re both great parents.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sweetie Belle cried. “You have the most beautiful mountain in the world and the music of Harmonizing Heights is wonderful! Mount Aris is the obvious choice.”

“Not so fast, Sweetie,” Scootaloo protested. “Seaquestria is just as amazing and it has such a bunch of fantastic fish and animals too!”

“But it’s got dark and gloomy caves and creepy creatures,” the unicorn filly objected. “Mount Aris is open and bright, and the hippogriffs can fly around as much as they like.”

“Swimming is just as good as flying! I’ve never felt so free!” Scootaloo replied enthusiastically. “What do you think, Nyx?”

The little alicorn nodded. “I liked Seaquestria a lot too, but Sweetie was right when she says Harmonizing Heights is amazing. I know you also liked that, Apple Bloom.”

The earth pony filly said, “It’s gorgeous, but Ah got to feel what it’s like to fly like a pegasus while in Seaquestria.”

“See, Sweetie?” Scootaloo asked. “Terramar staying with his mom is the better idea.”

“No way! Terramar belongs with his dad and the hippogriffs.”

Scootaloo scowled. “No! Seaquestria!”

“Mount Aris!” retorted Sweetie.

“Guys! You’re not helping at all!” Terramar interrupted. “How can I choose if you can’t even agree among yourselves?”

I facehoofed. The girls were too focused on what they liked rather than what was best for him. They clearly weren’t thinking this through. However, the map table had assigned them to this problem and I couldn’t solve it for them. I looked over to where Ocean Flow and Sky Beak were still chatting amiably. Hmm. Maybe I could give them a hint though.

“Terramar,” I said, catching the colt’s attention. “I know that Seaquestria was created as a safe haven for the hippogriffs and that’s how you avoided the conflict with the Storm King, but your parents obviously must have met before then. I find it unlikely that a seapony and a hippogriff found the opportunity for a relationship.”

“Oh, yeah. Mom was a hippogriff back then but, after Seaquestria was created, she found that she preferred life in the water and moved there permanently. My sister and I were old enough by then that it didn’t matter that dad and mom lived in different places.”

“And it seems they are still quite fond of each other.” I inclined my head towards the couple.

“Uh-huh. Dad was surprised that mom wanted to stay a seapony but he’s an understanding guy. He and mom live the way they want to and are happy.”

“Wait!” Apple Bloom said, a puzzled look on her face. “If they both love you and you love them, and they’re still in love despite their different lifestyles, why do you even need to make a choice?”

I tried to hide a satisfied grin. Trust the ever-practical filly to make the logical leap.

Nyx chimed in next. “Yeah. My mom’s a princess and so am I, but I get to hang out with you guys all the time. I’m not stuck in Canterlot Castle with the noble foals. I don’t have to go to Celestia’s School with them either.”

Scootaloo shrugged. “If your parents think it’s okay for you to come and go between them as you like, what’s the problem?”

Sweetie Belle said, “And I suppose Harmonizing Heights will always be there when you want it, so why choose between them?”

“Because they’re together so few times!” Terramar groaned.

Apple Bloom’s eyes widened. “Oh! Girls – I think we’ve been getting this all wrong. We’re not supposed to be helping Terramar choose between his parents. The Friendship Problem is getting the seapony and the hippogriff friends and families back together again!”

“Oh!” the others chorused.

“Well, we know what to do about that, don’t we, Crusaders?” Scootaloo said with the determined grin.

The four clopped their hooves together. “Cutie Mark Crusader Family Togetherness Planners!”

How they could spontaneously and unanimously come up with those titles, I’ll never know. I suppose that’s why I’ll only ever be an honorary Crusader. At least I did my bit to help point them in the right direction.

“Terramar – we’ve got a job for your parents,” Apple Bloom said.

Less than an hour later, the beach was filled with hippogriffs on the sand and seaponies in the waves. Several of each were on pontoons sharing the water and the sky. Some of them were changing back and forth between forms, especially the children. I watched from afar as Terramar conversed with his parents and noticed his joy as he splashed in the ocean as a seapony and then leaped back into the air as a hippogriff and then into the water again. He had worked things out to split time with both his parents and when the Crusaders’ cutie marks started flashing, I knew that they had accomplished their task. It was time for me to butt out and let them enjoy their success.

“Crimson, I want you to keep an eye on the girls but otherwise allow them to have fun. I have an appointment to keep with Queen Novo. When this winds up, bring the Crusaders up to the castle. I’m sure there will be accommodations ready for them and you.”

“What about Terramar?” the stallion asked.

“I reckon he’ll be staying with one of his parents tonight. Just remind him that we’ll all be catching the train back to Equestria early tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, will do, sir.”

“Thanks.” I turned to Penny as Stratus Skyranger and I started heading to the castle. “Do you think there will be seafood at the banquet? I have a sudden craving for raw, marinated squid.”

The batpony gave me a horrified look. I smirked. I was going to make her try it.

The next morning as we made our way to the station, my attention was caught by some bellowing from a nearby ship at the dock.

“That voice sounds awfully familiar,” I commented.

“That would be Lord Rock Hoof, Your Highness,” Stratus told me.

“Rock Hoof? What’s he doing here?”

“The Pillar of Equestria has been seeking his place in this world, I am told. He’s currently trying a career with the Seaquestrian Navy.”

“Oh? How’s he doing?”

I heard the distinctive sound of wood shattering followed by a burst of very colorful swear words from the ship.

“He’s… trying, sir. It’s an honor to have him join us. He has a lot of experience to share with Seaquestria.”

“And not a few choice nautical curses too,” I said with a grin.

Stratus sighed. “Actually, those are from the captain. She has been exercising her vocabulary quite a bit since her ship came into port.”

I chuckled in sympathy. While I wished the best for the powerful earth pony, somehow I could not envision him as a sailor. Only time would tell, I suppose. I had more important things to worry about, such as Twilight trying to poach my advisor.

The train pulled up at what I would have called a one-horse town if this was Earth and not a world occupied by sapient equines. The only reasons for this tiny community’s existence situated on the edges of the Bone Dry Desert were to provide water sourced from the local spring for the steam engine and as a train station to service the widely scattered ranches. However, unknown to the few ponies who lived in this rather remote region, it was also the main connection to the Southern Wastes Hive. No one, not even the Equestrian Crown, had known that the town had been built by changelings in the first place until after the war with the Storm King.

A group of ponies was waiting in the shade of the station’s roof – two mares and two stallions. None of them looked out of place in their garb, but I would have been surprised if they had. Apicula assured me that these were Princess Diadem and her retinue. I directed the Royal Guards to escort them to my carriage and ordered the blinds to be drawn. When they were all aboard and the door closed, all four flared with magic fire, revealing a changeling princess, a burly guard, and two other drones. They all bowed to Apicula.

“Greetings, sister,” Diadem said.

“Welcome, sister,” Apicula replied, giving her a hug. Then the queen turned to me. “Prince Mark Wells, may I introduce Princess Diadem.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Princess,” I said.

“The pleasure is mine, Your Highness. I understand that I will get to work with you in the Royal Court.”

“Yes, I promised your sister to give you the opportunity to learn how Equestria is governed and perhaps teach us a thing or two of your own realm.”

“I hope so, Prince Mark Wells.”

“The first thing you need to know is that, outside of business hours and in private times like these, I prefer informality. Just call me Mark, please.”

Diadem shuffled on her hooves. “If you say so, sir.”

Seems like that was the best that I could expect so soon. Time would tell if she would loosen up into someone that knew how to work with me properly. As for the others…

“I’m guessing that this strapping fellow is your bodyguard, but who are these two other ’lings?” I asked. The drone on the left shifted form into a pale teal unicorn mare with a silvery mane and tail. As she dropped into a textbook-perfect curtsey, I realized I had seen this mare before.

Apicula said, “Silver Dreams is our hive’s premier love gatherer. She will be rejoining Canterlot high society after… let’s see…” She looked up and pulled her lips to the side.

The now unicorn mare supplied, “… after being called out of town to care for my poor, sick mother who thankfully is well on her way to recovery from a nasty case of Sleeping Sickness.”

My smile was a bit forced. I recognized her now. She had been part of Lady Opulent Affair’s retinue when a group of nobles tried to exert their influence on Trixie after her Alicorn Challenge victory. “Silver Dreams, I am trying to normalize pony relations with all changeling hives as quickly as possible. I would strongly prefer that you retain your true form in Equestria.”

The mare shook her head and her gentle smile did not change. “I’m afraid I must decline, Your Highness. Until my queen’s hive obtains a sufficient amount of love from alternate sources, we will be dependent upon love gatherers like myself performing our duties. Now that all the Storm King’s prisoners have been released, our survival is more dependent than ever upon a constant love supply. Also, I believe the Triarchy committed to not search out changelings throughout Equestria to minimize disruption to changelings as a whole. I hope that this privilege extends to our hive as well.”

Well, damn. Put in place by my own orders. “Of course. I look forward to the day when such deception is no longer required.”

Silver Dreams curtseyed again. “As do we all, Your Highness.”

I brought my attention back to Apicula who nodded toward the drone on her right. “May I introduce Crispberry. He is the hive’s preeminent researcher that I mentioned earlier.” At the sound of his name, the gray-barreled drone with lime-green wings flicked an ear but did not raise his head from the book in front of his nose.

After a brief pause, Apicula said, “Crispberry. Please say ‘hello’ to Prince Mark Wells.”

Without changing his gaze, the drone’s hoof rose and moved back and forth fractionally. “Hi.” As he lowered his hoof again, I read the book title: Orthogonal Vectors and Their Analogs in Social Relationships. Yep. He’d get along with Twilight famously.

Apicula frowned at the drone then sighed. “They… well… primarily Silver will be continuing her observations of Canterlot society. Crispberry will be available to give lectures on our hive’s magitek. They are both very interested in the School of Friendship and hope to exchange ideas there with Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“I’m sure that she will appreciate that. Right now though, we have a long journey ahead of us. I suggest that you all stow your baggage in your compartments and then make yourselves comfortable in the lounge. We can chat over food and refreshments then.”

Diadem smiled. “That sounds good. And perhaps we can also discuss how to get some suitable mates for me and my sisters?”

Sheesh! Do all royal changelings have one-track minds?

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Last update for 2019, but it's a pretty big one. Sorry that I didn't get the chance to procure some original art for it though.

Queen Polistae is a shout out to Blissey1 from his fic A Novel Tale which was the inspiration for my first FimFic story Change of Life.

Queen Sanguine Dreams is the author of Necromancy for Foals and I Am a Pet Changeling.

Both are used here with the permission of the authors

Chapter 76 - New Careers

It would take a while to organize the Queen’s Council but, for the most part, that was somepony else’s problem. I only had to figure out how to get Chrysalis to cooperate and not disrupt the entire proceedings. Right at this moment, I didn’t know how I was going to manage that, so I decided to sleep on it. I had my hooves full with breaking in an assistant advisor.

Diadem threw herself into the task with admirable vigor. Too much, actually. I think she must have been coached in Apicula’s intense manner. Fortunately, Starlight Glimmer had the personality to deal with the changeling and quickly began correcting and guiding her. My biggest problem was self-inflicted. As I had insisted that Diadem perform her role in her natural form, the presence of a changeling standing by the throne was of great concern to the nobles and not a few of the other citizens. My introductory speech had done little to assuage the fears and biases of the upper-class ponies. However, like the rest of the revolutionary changes that Trixie, Twilight, and I had introduced, I intended that they get used to it and start working with her, even if reluctantly at first. It amused me that none of them realized that they had already been dealing with a changeling on a constant basis ever since Moon Dancer assumed the position of Twilight’s advisor. Moonie was never going to tell them that though and, to be honest, I seldom thought of her as anything but the unicorn she presented herself to be.

Diadem had a trait that even Starlight could not match. She remembered everything. If she had read it or been taught it in some way, she could always recall it perfectly. If I asked her to remind me of something that somepony had said the day before during Day Court, she would unhesitatingly repeat it verbatim, and with the same inflection. If asked, she would shape-change into the speaker and give a perfect reproduction of the conversation. She was also a keen observer and noticed auditory and visual behaviors that indicated when ponies were and were not being forthcoming. Most of these had escaped my notice. I had not expected having her present would be so educational. Still, my attention couldn’t be focused on reading the more subtle tells of every petitioner. I reckoned that having Diadem around would come in handy in the future.

Trixie and I received an invitation from Spike for a Friday evening meal at Friendship Castle. The event was the second anniversary of Ember’s ascension to Dragonlord. Plans for a first-anniversary party had been derailed by Chrysalis’ second attempted takeover of Equestria. Spike insisted that this was a blessing in disguise as it allowed him to gather up even more exotic gems for the young dragon leader to sample. Privately, I hoped Spike was shifting away from his infatuation with Rarity now that she had formally joined Trixie and my de facto herd. I had noticed that he had been avoiding me a bit since then, and his warm greeting when we arrived felt much more like the old Spike I knew. It might have helped that I brought along a few chips of exotic gemstones shared by Daring Do for the occasion. I was supposed to ask about getting permission for the adventurer to visit a desert ruin only accessible by trekking through the heart of the Dragonlands, but that would wait until an opportune moment later in the evening.

Ember was in great spirits at the unexpected meal in her honor and gave a few hugs to a blushing Spike as he guided her along the Priceless Geological Treasure Display… excuse me… Dragon Snack Table. She laughed at every joke thrown her way until I complimented her for bringing her own contribution to the night’s menu fastened to the end of the bloodstone scepter. That earned me a stern glare from the Dragonlord and a rap on the head from my wife.

Spike excused himself to finish meal arrangements for the rest of the Elements, myself, Thorax, and Trixie. That’s when I noticed something, or rather, the lack of somepony. I trotted after Spike to find him giving last-minute directions to the head chef of the team of caterers that had taken over the kitchen. After he was done, I got my friend’s attention. “Hey, Spike! Where’s Twilight?”

He looked back with a smile, scratching an itch on his right cheek. “Hey yourself, Mark! She’s been holed up with Crispberry in one of the basement labs. Something about ‘innovations to make Pinkie Pie proud.’ Could you tell them it’s time to join the rest of the living world? The first course will be served in ten minutes.”

I nodded. “Will do, but… ahhh….”

“Directions?” He smiled, knowing how easily I got lost in this place where nearly every corridor and door looked the same. My suggestion to put up signs always got rejected but that just meant I got to try again the next time. “Go back the way you came and take the stairway on your left down two levels. Then follow the smell of smoke and sounds of explosions.”

Sounded like lots of science was happening. “Thanks, Spike! Hopefully, I won’t need a Death by Chocolate cupcake to drag her away.” I turned around after waving to the dragon. As soon as I faced forward again, Pinkie came up from behind me and shoved one of the aforementioned cupcakes in my outstretched hoof. Wordlessly, she pronked back to the party. Rather than wondering exactly how she got behind me where I had been looking not a second before, I stowed the Alicorn Quaalude into my saddlebags and sought out the stairwell.

I arrived at the lowest level of the castle just in time to see Twilight levitating the twisted remnants of an oven into the hallway. She wore her white lab coat, goggles, and a curved face shield. Maximum protection for the most intense science, I suppose. Unceremoniously, she dropped the wrecked appliance next to the blasted out remains of several more along the corridor. Her magic aura surrounded the lone remaining shiny and unblemished oven and lifted it into the air. “Crispy! We’ve only got one test appliance left!”

I heard the changeling drone’s voice drift into the hallway. “Then we’ll need to change all the parameters at once for the last test… you know… just in case the results are moderately exothermic again.”

Twilight nodded sagely as she re-entered the doorway from which she had come.

Deciding self-preservation was the better part of valor, I switched to my short-maned Marklestia form and raised a general-purpose shield before following. When I entered the laboratory, I saw scorch marks on every wall and the ceiling. The surfaces sprouted a few pieces of metal sheeting that had obviously been propelled at sufficient speed to embed them in the solid crystal. Piles of metal debris and blackened chunks of I-don’t-know-what had been pushed out of the way into every corner. Quietly, I doubled the strength of my shield.

Twilight lifted her wings theatrically as a scroll and quill materialized next to her. “Soon-to-be-co-author Crispberry, report your unbiased, clinical observations of test batch 7-G!”

The drone in question was wearing some sort of banded armor with Twilight’s colander over his face to provide that extra layer of protection. If anything, the alicorn had hot-glued even more gems onto the pasta strainer. In front of Crispberry hovered a roughly spherical burned lump of… something. “My initial assessment is that the sample is very dark. Black in fact… Oh, wait.” He lifted the colander out of the way with a hoof, revealing circular lab goggles with dark lenses. “Still black.” Crispberry lifted the goggles for a moment, revealing his yellow compound eyes narrowed in a squint. “Yep,” he said, snapping the goggles back in place. “Definitely a black exterior.”

“Consistency?” asked Twilight as she moved closer to her partner in crime. That crime being the wanton destruction of perfectly good appliances.

To my shock, the changeling took a large bite of the undefined mass and cocked his head as he chewed thoughtfully. “Dry, dense, burned, with a taste slightly better than locust droppings.” Pieces of the mouthful escaped his jaws and fell all around him. Add table manners to the ways he and Twilight were like peas in a pod.

“Progress!” yelled Twilight. She lifted a forehoof for a clop, which the drone readily supplied. “And the interior?”

With a flash of the changeling’s magic, the lump broke into a left and right half, now dripping a pale yellowish goo onto the floor. Crispberry said, “Once again, the cake batter in the center did not heat sufficiently. No sign of yeast activity either.”

I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Is that what you two have been trying to do? Flash-bake a cake in half the time?”

The pair of experimenters started laughing; so much so that they held each other up to keep from falling over. After several seconds, Twilight said, “Of course not! That would be mere incremental science.”

“Indeed,” said Crispberry. “Super-geniuses like myself and the Magus of Science here concern ourselves in nothing less than the revolutionary!”

Twilight beamed. “We’ve set our goal at perfecting the one-hundredth-of-a-second cake! And we are so close now!”

I sighed. Sure they were.

The alicorn turned to the drone and scoffed. “As if we would settle for anything that took longer.”

The changeling matched her smirk as he looked into her eyes. “Not in the ten dimensions I call home.”

Twilight caught her tongue between her teeth for a moment, making her look positively adorkable. “Could be eleven.”

Crispberry made a show of scratching his chin with a hoof. “Mmmmmmmm—No.”

“Might even be twenty-six.”

The drone made the head motion as if he were rolling his eyes under his goggles. Wouldn’t have worked with compound eyes but it was easy enough to interpret all the same. “Don’t get me started. There’s a reason ‘bosonic’ and ‘moronic’ rhyme.”

What were they talking about? Were these… theoretical physics puns? I said, “You two know that there are books on the science of cooking, right?”

They turned to me with exactly the same scandalized expression on their faces.

Crispberry said, “We will not be held back by the mistakes of the past!”

“Indeed,” said Twilight. “We’re going to make our own mistakes… in the Grand Tradition of Scientific Discovery!” That earned her another hoof clop from the drone.

I shook my head. “Well, regardless, Spike sent me to fetch you two. The meal is about to start.”

The changeling stood straighter and smiled, “Free food!”

Twilight tilted her head. “I thought you ate just before we came down to the lab.”

With flashes of blue-green fire, Crispberry possessed a pair of minotaur hands which he used to tick off his points. “First of all: Free Food. Secondly: That was twelve hours ago.”

“It was?” The ends of the scroll held in Twilight’s magic spun at incredible speed until she was reading the top of the scroll. “It was.”

“Thirdly: Happy ponies expressing their love for each other. Fourthly: Pinkie Pie all on her own. Fifthly: … Uh… uh… free food.” With that, he gave a smug smile and transformed back to his hooved self.

Twilight smirked. “Forgot that minotaurs had five digits, did you?”

He shrugged. “Point conceded—should have gone for griffon claws. Anyway…” With a burst of flame, Crispberry took the form of a male zebra. “…we have time for one last trial, so let’s make it worth our while.”

The alicorn nodded. “Nice cadence. Try for anapestic next time. Anyway, our gravity and mix degradation problems were trivial to solve.”

Crispberry nodded as he shifted back to his changeling form. “Done.”

“We’ll need a bigger infrared micro-portal array for the heat distribution issue.”

“Done for now.”

“That leaves us with the complete and utter failure of the cake to get light and fluffy. Why is that happening?”

The two researchers furrowed their brows and looked at the floor, apparently for answers. Doubting they would find them there, I decided to help out. “Because yeast takes time to eat the starches in the dough.” At the pair of confused looks I received, I said, “The yeast makes carbon dioxide as a byproduct and that’s what puts the bubbles in the bread.”

“Ooooohhhh,” the two scientists said together.

Twilight turned to the drone and said, “Only one thing to do.”

Crispberry replied, “Yep. Engineer a better, faster, stronger version of yeast that reproduces in microseconds.”

I tried to voice a protest, but Twilight beat me to it. “No, too great of a chance of evolving a hyper-intelligent race of super-yeast that takes over the planet.”

The drone tapped his chin. “Hmmm. Hadn’t considered that. Personally, I don’t want to bow my knee to our fungal overlords.”

Twilight nodded. “And I’d feel bad about eating a budding civilization.”

Crispberry shrugged. “As long as they were yummy, I wouldn’t. What about a localized time dilation field synchronized with the heat array?”

Twilight’s look went from scandalized to contemplative. “I think… yes… it could be done.” She smirked. “All that heat focused in one place. It might be dangerous.”

He snorted. “Scientists and inventors dance on the bleeding edge of disaster every day.”

“So true. Still, the time distortion will be limited. We’ll need to increase the baking time to a quarter second.”

I said, “What happened to not settling for anything that took longer than—”

Twilight cut me off, yelling instructions to her fellow scientist. “Alter the mixture for Test Batch 8-A! Triple… no… quadruple the yeast proportions!”

Crispberry laughed, “Now that’s dancing with danger!” He went to a nearby table and threw three packets into a bowl. After a pause, he removed the packets, tore them open, and emptied the contents into the bowl before discarding the packets on the floor. Quietly, I started to edge toward the hallway.

The drone called out, “Adding a pinch of vanilla extract for that extra added something!” After a couple of perfunctory stirs with a soup ladle, Crispberry declared, “The sample is prepared!”

The lavender glow of the alicorn’s magic lifted a spherical mass of cake batter out of the bowl and into the oven cavity. Before the oven door slammed shut, I noticed that no wire racks were installed, leaving just the ball of dough floating in roughly the center.

Twilight rose onto her rear hooves and slashed her quill in the air like it was a deadly rapier. “Confirm ready for note-taking!”

“Confirmed!” Crispberry’s voice was a bit muffled. Looking over, I saw the pasta strainer was again adding a layer of protection to his face.

Twilight’s wings spread out and a multi-layer shield coalesced around her as she drifted off the floor. With a mad cackle of glee, she called out, “Stand back! We’re about to try SCIENCE!” She flipped down her face shield as I hustled into the hallway. From my vantage point, I could see Twilight but had a solid crystal wall between myself and the oven.

Crispberry called out, “Three… Two… One… SCIENCE!”

If the bright flash and subsequent tinkling noises were any indications, SCIENCE had indeed happened. That and the joyful laughter of the two experimenters. Cautiously, I moved my head back into the chamber. The smoking wreckage of the final oven sat like an enormous broken tooth in the center of the room. I did not see where the top half ended up. There did seem to be a bit more scrap metal around the area than I had remembered.

“Verdict?” asked the alicorn.

The drone discarded the colander revealing a furrowed brow. “The sample is still burnt on the exterior but retained its spherical shape.” Again, his magic split the black mass in half vertically. Again, uncooked batter leaked out, but noticeably less this time.

Twilight came up and her shredded lab coat disappeared in a flash along with her face shield. She raised her lab goggles onto her forehead as she squinted at the sample. “Hold on…” A few shells flaked away from the inside and outside of the two hemispheres. Believing the area to be safe, I moved up closer.

The alicorn sniffed the sample which looked quite a bit like… “Cake,” she said. Twilight tore off a small piece from one edge and floated it over to me. “If you would sample this and tell us what you experience?”

I looked at the roughly cubical plug of material. It did kind of look about right. “Is it safe?”

Twilight answered, “Of course” just as Crispberry said, “Almost certainly.” Wonderful. Here goes nothing.

I let the alicorn float the piece into my mouth and tentatively chewed. “It’s… cake. Very, very vanilla-y cake.”

Both scientists rose up onto their hind legs, making a 45-degree angle with the ground. They tucked their forelegs onto their chests and performed a few hops while punctuating each little jump by gleefully yelling “SCIENCE!” The fifth and final hop was accompanied with a double rear leg kick straight behind them that ended with them both landing on all fours. With a little more training, I reckon they could qualify as stand-ins for the famous Lipizzaner Stallions… if they ignore that one’s a purple mare and the other bugpony!

Twilight gushed, “Just think of the applications! Now Pinkie Pie can create cake shells in no time flat!”

A smoking metal fragment chose that moment to fall to the ground. I looked up at the ceiling dubiously, saying, “With only a modest amount of collateral damage.”

The alicorn waved a dismissive hoof. “My number-one assistant will take care of that. Then we can get back to doing even more science!”

Crispberry took off his goggles and tossed them into the remains of the oven. “Yes, that’s a great plan. But now… free food!” In a clatter of hooves, he was gone.

Twilight was not far behind, levitating her prize cake shell halves along with her. “Come on, Mark. Aren’t you hungry?”

Now alone amidst the wreckage of the room, I sighed. Now I knew why Spike gave Twilight and her labs a wide berth when she was in full mad-scientist mode. Stepping carefully around the shrapnel, I headed back to the party.

“Mark, my students have a favor to ask of you,” Twilight said.

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“One of their assignments is to put on a class play and their chosen theme is the 1,111th anniversary of when Princess Celestia first raised the sun.”

I began to suspect where this was going. “You need someone to play Celestia?”

Twilight nodded vigorously.

“Shouldn’t one of the students play her?”

“Well, it’s really just a supporting role. The others would be portraying various significant ponies of the time and how the event affected them and the society of that period. And not everyone in the class will be acting – some of them will be responsible for the other aspects of production such as building the set. The bottom line is that they could use somepony to take the role and you seemed the obvious first choice.”

I chuckled. “Not if they had ever seen me in my class play.”

Twilight tilted her head and frowned a little. “What do you mean?”

“I was relegated to playing a tree after my efforts were described as ‘wooden’.”

The alicorn snickered and various snorts and chuckles came from the others. Twilight said, “Considering what you’ve learned to do since coming to Canterlot, I suspect that you’d be adequate for the task. It’s not as if the play is going to be seen on Boardtrot.”

I held up my hooves in surrender. “Okay! Okay! Sounds like fun. As long as they can work around my schedule, I’m in. Oh, and it turns out that this Marklestia form is completely tone-deaf. No singing parts for me. Let Starlight know when they want to get together for rehearsals and the show.”

“I’ll work it out with the students on Monday,” Twilight replied.

“So, when is this anniversary anyway?”

Half the people in the room gave me a look that told me I had just said something incredibly dumb. Then my brain engaged and I facehoofed.

“It’s the next Summer Sun Celebration, right?”

There were nods and smirks all around.

I thought about it for a moment and realized something. “If Celestia first raised the sun 1,111 years ago, I assume that’s the day she earned her cutie mark?”

Twilight replied, “That’s correct.”

“And if she gained it at the typical time that ponies get them, that would put her age at somewhere around 1,120 to 1,130 years.”

“Right again. She is 1,125 years of age.” Twilight sagged and sighed. “This will be the fourth time that I won’t be able to wish her a happy birthday. I miss her.”

“Still haven’t had any luck with the rebuilt portals?”

The alicorn shook her head. “Even with Star Swirl’s assistance, I can’t re-establish contact with the dimensions that they were linked to. When the mirrors were broken, so was the spell containing the critical data. Star Swirl didn’t memorize the coordinates and I’m finding more and more often that, although he’s a brilliant theoretician, he’s terrible at documenting his work. Aside from a few facts about your dimension, he doesn’t recall anything about the realms the four repaired portals led to.”

I nodded. “I remember the trouble we had deciphering his journal.”

She snorted. “Do you recall the Royal Decree I pushed through to force collectors to provide access to the eight journals in private hooves? Even Star Swirl had difficulty reading his early diaries. Still, he examined those and the four journals housed in libraries. None cover the time period when the portals were established.”

“Did you find out anything new with his help?”

“Some small details. Most I had figured out for myself while trying to repair the mirrors. He also pointed out that the sisters should be able to set up a new portal to Equestria utilizing the unique quantum resonance intrinsic with any piece of their armor.”

I nodded. “And since Discord hasn’t found any indication of their passing, that means either they lost all their possessions or are unable to create a portal for some reason.”

“Those are the most probable scenarios. One thing is likely though – yours probably wasn’t the portal Celestia and Luna went through.”

I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow. “Really? Why is that?”

“Because, if they went through yours, they would have become humans without all their vast powers. Star Swirl confirmed that, unlike in Sunset Shimmer’s dimension, most Equestrian magic does not work in yours. The Royal Sisters had to use a third party to transport the companion mirror to your realm.”

“Third party? Like Discord?”

Twilight shrugged. “According to Star Swirl, an unnamed being that travels between dimensions and takes the memories of its presence along with it as part of its payment. Apparently, the entity values its privacy even more than Spike when a new issue of Power Ponies arrives.”

I chuckled at that. More than once, moments after I had received a hug in return for the latest copy of Spike’s favorite comic book, my next sight was the young dragon’s back as he sprinted for the solitude of his room.

Twilight waved a hoof. “Anyway, if we assume Celestia and Luna left to combat some immense peril, then they would have needed all the magic they had. Ergo, it was one of the other portals.”

“Well, at least they won’t have to try to find the mirror that I came through.”

“That’s true.” She frowned a little. “Will that still be at your house? You’ve been gone for years now.”

“Phil and I left our properties to each other in our wills. He has it in his bedroom now.”

“He could have sold it, you know?”

Oh. That’s right – I’d never told Twilight about the favor Discord did for me. I gave her the short version. “Trust me – it’s there.”

“Okay. Maybe we’ll find a way to connect to that mirror again someday. Maybe Discord can give me the coordinates?”

Little balloons suddenly appeared out of nowhere and, as each popped, Discord could be heard saying, “Nope!” in various tones and pitches.

I sighed. I get the hint, pal.

Yona helped pick me up off the floor and I rubbed my sore nose. “Nopony told me that there was a dance number in the play,” I complained.

“That was the students’ idea,” Twilight told me from her director’s chair.

My spouse was watching the rehearsal from the audience while keeping Gemini occupied. She laughed and said, “Trixie didn’t know this was going to be a slapstick comedy, Twilight Sparkle.”

That’s my wife – always so supportive.

“Sorry, Princess Mark,” Silverstream said. “We thought that it would be fun.”

I gave the young hippogriff a reassuring smile. “It’s not your fault if I have four left hooves for dancing. Let’s try again, okay?”

I managed to get through the rest of the first rehearsal without tripping myself up more than a couple of times. Oh, and Twilight said my acting was barely adequate. That was still a big step up from wooden, so I counted it as a win. Nevertheless, I contacted a few acting coaches to give me some pointers. Also, my wife was very happy to instruct me on the finer points of projecting confidence on stage. No way was I going to screw up the students’ play over my inadequacies. I was there as a supporting actor and support them I would!

It’ll be alright on the night. Isn’t that the saying? Well, it was, although not without a lot of hard work. Trixie even added a bit of her illusion magic to enhance the props. I nixed the firework finale though – safety first! I’m happy to say that I did not fluff a line or make a misstep, although I’ll be glad to retire from acting from now on. The kids were ecstatic though. With just a bit of direction from Twilight and assistance from the teachers, they had pulled off a great play. I even learned a bit of history. The best part about it was the grateful hugs they gave me after the curtain rang down. I hoped Gemini grows up to be as wonderful as this lot.

Crap. Now I understood why Starlight was so interested in the headmare job.

“Ready to fly solo, Diadem?” I asked as I sat down on my throne.

“I am up to the task, Your Highness,” the changeling replied confidently.

Starlight’s butt signal had gone off earlier today while Sunburst was visiting, so I’d had the choice of borrowing Raven for the afternoon session of Day Court or putting my faith in the pink unicorn’s training of her apprentice. I trusted my advisor’s word that Diadem was ready and here we were. I was looking forward to finding out what friendship problem Sunburst and Starlight were supposed to resolve. I was not so keen on what was going to inevitably happen when Starlight returned. If Diadem’s work was up to par, that would give Twilight more ammunition in her crusade to wrest my favorite advisor from me. I could only put off the inevitable for so long before losing Glimmy. I sighed. Diadem wasn’t half as much fun to tease.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

If you'd like to learn more about the advanced dressage techniques demonstrated by Twilight and Crispberry, watch this video showcasing the World Famous Lipizzaner Stallions.

Art by Foxenawolf
Paid for by a generous donation to my Ko-fi account. Please support my addiction to illustrations! :twilightsmile:

Chapter 77 - Compromises

With Starlight Glimmer off in Sire’s Hollow on her cutie mark mission, that gave my provisional advisor her first opportunity to fly solo... although I had to put an asterisk to the ‘advisor’ part of her title. Princess Diadem’s recommendations tended toward the bizarre at times: enforced labor to complete stalled public works projects; mandatory two-weeks-per-year healing-pod vacations for all citizens at their nearest hive; and nutrition pellets! Apparently, these tasteless mineral and vitamin pills (I tried them) were the solutions to everything from drought to crop failures to fish die-offs.

I was tempted to ask Diadem to not provide me with solutions that ran counter to pony sensibilities until I realized it was my job to teach her what that meant. As a result, my feedback would often be along the line of: “What do you think that pony’s reaction would be?” or “That’s not likely to work. Do some research by talking with pony/griffon/changeling ______, then we’ll discuss it again.”

Apicula’s intentions for leaving her sister with me made perfect sense now. She needed seasoning. Plus lessons on how ponies think and react rather than how a changeling from her hive might approach the same problem.

The last petitioner for the day looked interesting. My roll sheet named her as Cozy Glow who wanted my endorsement for something or another.

Looking up, my eyes widened in surprise. It wasn’t often that young foals came to Day Court as petitioners. Minors needed a parent’s permission to do so and I did not see one accompanying this filly. The small pegasus mare appeared to be about twelve years old. She had two-tone blue sausage roll curls and a pink coat. Her mane and tail were decorated with lime-green ribbons. Overall, she gave off an air of deliberately crafted cuteness in a Shirley Temple kind of way. Her facial expression was much more direct and calculating than I would expect for a filly her age.

I said, “How can I help you, young mare?”

She came to a stop and smiled. “Actually, I’m over twenty. I have dwarfism.”

Diadem buzzed her wings. “You mean, ‘I have dwarfism, Your Highness’.”

“Oh.” That explained how her bearing didn’t mesh with her apparent age. “My apologies for making that assumption, although I suspect that happens pretty frequently.”

The mare bowed. “Apology accepted, Your Highness.”

The silence stretched out for a few moments. I said, “I understand you wanted a personal endorsement, Cozy Glow?”

She brightened and straightened up. “Yes, exactly! But first, let me tell you a bit about my qualifications. I had been working for nine months as the vice-matron at the Sunny Outlook Orphanage in Baltimare when my boss, Miss Gentle Heart, told me she was looking to retire soon. Because I had done such a great job and was practically running the place anyway, she asked if I wanted to be the next lead matron. That’s when I had an idea.”

Cozy Glow’s gaze grew very intense and she started to pace. “What if all three orphanages in town combined under one roof! This would allow everything to be done more efficiently. For example, instead of one retired nurse at each house who mostly slept during daylight hours, we could have two nurses cover eight hours each and always be busy. Plus the one off-duty could be called in for any emergency. I had developed contacts with the city’s rich patrons and was sure I could get them to fund a brand new, larger facility to replace the three ancient relics of the past. I didn’t get an agreement, but I at least got the conversation started.” If nothing else, I could see the mare’s salespony skills.

The pegasus mare stopped and so did her smile. “And then Tirek happened.”

I winced. Baltimare suffered more fatalities than any other city both because of its size and the fact that the residents attempted to survive without their magic for thirty hours.

Cozy Glow sighed and looked at the ground. “Lead matron Hobnail of the Caring Hooves Orphanage was a feisty elderly earth pony. Was. Tragically, she did not survive.” She looked up. “Soon after the magic returned, we got the terrible news. I appealed directly to the mayor to combine the orphanages, at least for the short term. It was a good thing because now that everypony was in the basketball stadium, the combined staff of all three institutions could care for all of the incoming displaced and orphaned foals from one, centralized location. I’m very proud of my staff working non-stop for a week to process everypony who came in and contact every relative that could be found in the public records. When everything settled down, I arranged for a celebration dinner for everypony’s hard work. I asked the combined staff if they wanted to return to their old orphanages. Unanimously, they voted to remain as a team. I took that news to the Mayor and I’m happy to tell you the Cozy Dreams Orphanage opened its doors for the first time just four months later!”

I nodded my head. That was indeed impressive. “I applaud your initiative. Not many ponies could have carried through or even come up with a plan that ambitious, especially under such trying circumstances.”

Diadem leaned closer and I pointed my ear towards her. She said, “What about the foals?”

I glanced at my provisional advisor and nodded before turning back to the pegasus. “Can you tell me more about the foals in your care?”

Cozy Glow blinked and her face went blank. “What?”

I clarified. “How many were in your care before and after the transition? And how many were successfully placed? That is the main purpose of any orphanage, isn’t it?”

The pegasus lifted a hoof and her ears folded back a bit. “O-of course. Absolutely. Umm.” She looked down and put the hoof to her lips. “Ummm. There were twenty-six foals under my care at Sunny Outlook and one hundred and five when I resigned from my leadership of the combined orphanage. During the crisis, we took in almost a thousand foals, though it was usually a case of parents getting separated and the children needing a safe place to stay until they were reunited.”

I said, “And how many of the long-term charges were placed?”

The mare grimaced as the silence stretched out. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. I don’t have those numbers. I could make an estimate, but I would rather not. Especially for the foals who started at the other two orphanages, I just don’t know that information.” She put on a grin that seemed a little too wide. Probably nervous. “I’ll certainly remember their little faces forever, though! I can write back and find out if you like.”

I waved a hoof. “I don’t think that’s necessary. One thing puzzles me, though. I would have thought that would be your dream job. I take it your coming here today has something to do with why you left the leadership position of the combined orphanage?”

She beamed as she showed me her flank. “You’re absolutely right! You see my cutie mark of a red rook chess piece? My special talent is strategy, and with all the challenges overcome in Baltimare, I needed to find new pastures. Through the foal-care grapevine, I heard that Princess Twilight Sparkle was looking for a headmare at her brand-new School of Friendship.”

Her irises grew huge and she put on a childish voice. “I thought to myself, ‘Golly, Cozy Glow. What could be better than getting the personal endorsement of Prince Mark Wells for that position?’”

A smile grew on my face. “I don’t know if you heard, but Twilight already has her eye on my personal advisor, Starlight Glimmer.”

Cozy Glow didn’t even bat an eyelash and her voice returned to normal. “Then it will be that more impressive when I win your endorsement.”

I leaned back in my throne and laughed long and hard. Damn this mare had some moxie. I looked back down at her with a smile on my lips. “Well, I’m certainly impressed with your ambition and can-do attitude.” She stood with the same confident and expectant smile. “Tell you what. I’ll write a note to Princess Twilight strongly recommending that she review your qualifications and interview you for the position.”

The pegasus’ doe-eyed expression and childlike voice returned. “But I would reeeeeeeally appreciate your heartfelt endorsement.”

My smile fell a bit. “Let me give you some free advice. Because you are applying for an adult’s position, you should drop the cutesy act when talking with the Princess… and get yourself a professional dress or outfit for the interview. That will say in more than words how serious you are.”

Her ears splayed onto her head and she jerked back as if I had slapped her. “Oh, ahhhh… of course, Your Highness. I’ll… thank you very much.” She bowed in a proper curtsy.

“You are dismissed, my little pony.”

Cozy Glow hesitated then nodded.

As the pegasus headed to the exit, I called out, “Oh, and Cozy Glow?”

She looked over her shoulder.

“Good luck. Twilight would have to be crazy not to see your potential.”

The mare gave me the best smile I had seen so far. Thanks to pointers from Diadem, I noticed this one came up all the way to the corners of her eyes.

“Thank you, Prince Wells! I’ll write to you and let you know how it went!”

She practically skipped her way out of the throne room.

I turned to my provisional advisor. Unsurprisingly, Diadem had the same mildly displeased look that always greeted me when we were working. “So, what do you think of her?”

The changeling princess raised one eyebrow, which was new. “I admit you surprised me. You managed to get an honest reaction out of her at the very end.”

“So, the Friendship Problem turned out to be between you and your parents after all?” I asked as I settled on the sofa in Twilight’s castle. It was the only piece of furniture in her private library that I really felt comfortable resting on while I was in Marklestia form. Its plush cushioning was sinfully cozy.

Starlight had just arrived back from Sire’s Hollow that morning and, because it was Saturday, she had got off the train at Ponyville rather than continuing on to Canterlot. She slumped into one of the other chairs and sighed. “Yeah. We came to an understanding, but it’s still a work in progress.”

“Aren’t relationships always that way?”

“I suppose,” Starlight conceded. “I spent too much of my life avoiding the confrontation.”

Twilight smiled. “Still, your second Friendship Mission was a success and that’s what counts.”

The pink unicorn gave her a lopsided grin. “True, but I hope to get something a lot less personal next time.”

“You never know,” the alicorn replied before looking at me. “Now that Starlight is back, maybe you’ll tell me how well Diadem worked out filling in as advisor?”

I groaned. I knew this was coming and dreaded it, and there was no putting it off any longer. “She was great, I admit. Not perfect but about the same as Starlight’s early days. Diadem will probably be as good as her very quickly as she gets more practice.”

Twilight’s grinned. “Then you’ll finally relent and let me hire Starlight as headmare?”

I perked my ears forward. “I know you got my note regarding Cozy Glow. How did the interview go yesterday?”

The alicorn beamed. “I agree with you one hundred percent. A very impressive mare! Definitely somepony who gets things done when she sets her mind to it. I offered her the vice-headmare spot and she accepted. I’m very happy to have her on the staff!”

I noticed Twilight said she was happy but didn’t say that Cozy Glow felt the same way. Still, the pegasus mare had been in the number two position before, so that must have been sufficient because she took the job.

I looked at Starlight and she gave me a nervous smile without saying anything.

“Do you really want the job? I gave you the position as my advisor because you wanted to have a positive role in the future of Equestria.”

“And I still do,” Starlight replied, “but this would be even more significant. Being in the position to help teach young minds of several species the value of friendship as I have learned would be extremely gratifying. Plus they will take what they learn back with them to their homelands. There’s the potential for the power of Friendship to spread all across Equus! You’ve already heard how much griffons have improved their lot in Griffonstone.”

I sighed and nodded to Twilight. “I surrender. When do you really need Starlight to take over as headmare?”

“The start of next term unless I get called away sooner for any reason. However, just as you had to train Diadem to suit your needs, I’d prefer to give Starlight some experience with the job as my assistant before hoofing it over to her permanently.”

“And you would just be a teacher after that?”

The alicorn shook her head. “While I won’t be involved in the day-to-day running of the school anymore, I’ll still be reviewing results and adjusting the curriculum to optimize the lessons. However, that will involve a lot less work than having to be headmare at the same time. While the School of Friendship is my baby, I have other responsibilities as a mother and a princess.”

“About time! Between the school and a couple of foals, I’ve had to run the country by myself too often. Maybe I should stage a coup and take over as Queen of Equestria.” I looked over to where Crimson Boulder was quietly drinking his coffee and saw him rolling his eyes. “My loyal minions will hold off all pretenders to the throne.”

Crimson smirked. “Better let Penumbra know well in advance. Her marefriend might be upset at having their date canceled.”

With Crimson restored to full-time personal bodyguard status, Penny now had more opportunities for her personal life and she had been taking great advantage of it. Last I heard, Penny and a Royal Guard mare named Lightning Strike were spending most evenings together. Penumbra became unattached soon after Maximum Lift finally won the millstone-weight class Ms. Equestria World Title. The bodybuilding mare decided to take her long-anticipated break from the sport before the Fall Heat. Now she was happily convalescing with family in Vanhoover and waiting for her first foal. Penumbra stayed in touch and assured me that ‘convalescing’ meant no more than two hours of working-out per day with no cuts for weight or body fat.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I agreed. “Better put the coup off for a bit. Sorry, Twi, I’ll have to schedule it for a more convenient time.”

Twilight replied drolly, “Shall I pencil you in for after Hearth’s Warming then?”

“Sounds good. Maybe make that my New Year’s resolution – take over Equestria as all-powerful monarch.”

Everyone chuckled just as my wife walked into the room with Gemini nestled on her back. She looked at us suspiciously. “What has the Great and Curious Trixie missed?”

Starlight replied, “Your husband is plotting the overthrow of you and Twilight next year.”

“Not if he wants to continue enjoying bed privileges with Trixie.”

“Rats. Foiled again. Crimson – cancel the coup for now.”

“Sheesh! Make up your mind, Mark!”

There was a fresh round of laughter just as Spike arrived, pushing a cart of morning tea and snacks.

“Sorry I wasn’t here when you guys arrived, but I had to go shopping. We were out of your favorite cherry chimichangas, Mark. How many would you like?”

“My usual,” I replied.

“All of them, in other words,” Spike said with a smirk.

“You know me and my weaknesses too well.”

Spike offered some snacks to Trixie first as she was nearest. Fortunately, my wife preferred eclairs and didn’t claim any of my prized pastries. When my dragon friend got to me, he passed over a plate loaded with the heavenly treats. Then he turned around and said, “Notice anything different about me?” He spread his new wings.

Rarity had mentioned the incident where she and Zecora had been grabbed by a roc that had been attracted by the smell of the dragon molt. The scratching that I had noticed last time that I had seen Spike had apparently been the start of the symptoms that had led to this change. My marefriend expounded on Spike’s heroics in rescuing them with Twilight’s help. Therefore, I knew all about his new appendages. Naturally, I had to be an ass.

“Have you had your scales waxed?” I asked.

Spike stared at me as if I was daft. He then flapped up to my eye level and hovered there. “No – try again.”

“Um…” I chewed thoughtfully on a chimichanga. “You’ve had your claws trimmed?”

“What? No! I’ve got wings! See!” He turned so they were practically in my face.

I chuckled. “Rarity spilled the beans, Spike. Congratulations – you’re a big dragon now.”

Spike scowled at me. “Just see if I go out to buy you chimichangas again.”

“I brought the latest Power Ponies comic,” I replied.

“You’re forgiven! Gimme!”

I lifted it from my saddlebag with my magic and he snatched it out of the air and scurried away. He might have started the dragon equivalent of puberty but he hadn’t abandoned his first love yet!

“Speaking of growing up, Twi,” I segued, “I noticed that your library tree is looking almost as big as I remember it pre-Tirek.”

The alicorn beamed happily. “Yes, it’s almost ready. The earth pony magic that I’ve been pouring into it whenever I’ve had the chance has done its job well.”

“Shouldn’t it have been ready sooner though? I’ve seen what Applejack can do with her damaged trees.”

“Normally, you would be right. If this was an apple tree, it could have been restored long before this. But you’ve seen for yourself that, internally, it’s far more sophisticated.”

“You mean the bigger on the inside than the outside thing?” I guessed.

Twilight nodded. “That and several other magical aspects that encourage the tree to create chambers suitable for a library with living quarters. There’s an awful lot of magic involved in one.”

“And I reckon that you want to restore it exactly the way it used to be,” I said with a smile.

The book mare blushed a little. “Well… it will never be exact because it’s a living thing, but yes, it was my first home in Ponyville and I’ve never really gotten over losing it.”

I chuckled. “Some fillies dream of being princesses in castles of their own. This princess just wants her tree.” I waved a hoof around to indicate the crystalline structure we were in. “What are you going to do? Move back to the library tree and rent out the castle?”

“Don’t be silly, Mark. I’m going to reopen the library, of course. Then sleep on the books!”

We all had a chuckle over that although we privately reckoned that Twilight would do exactly that for at least the first night.

The rest of the weekend was pretty typical. Our friends joined us, with Applejack arriving last after finishing up with the Saturday morning market. Even Rainbow Dash had a break from Wonderbolts training that weekend and she regaled us with anecdotes from the team. We relaxed, visited the townsponies, went to the spa, ate a meal at a restaurant, and so forth. After the evening’s socializing wound up for the night, our companions headed off home, except for Rarity. Tonight, my herdmate would join us.

Trixie surprised me though. When we reached our usual quarters, she paused in the doorway, blocking our entry. I raised a querying eyebrow. “What’s up, Lulu?”

“It is time you performed your stallion duty, Pockmark Windbells. Your herdmate will attend to you… in her chambers.” She then firmly closed the door in my face.

I looked at Rarity who smiled coyly. “Am I being dense, Rares?”

She nodded with a small smile. “A little, darling. Do be a dear and resume your normal self.”

I always preferred to reserve the weekend as Marklestia time, but there was an exception for everything. With a thought, I was a stallion again. Rarity nodded and headed for the suite next door, glancing back to see that I followed her. Once inside, she paused to kiss me.

“The moment has come to properly bed me, Mark.”

“Are you sure about this, Rarity?”

“It’s time that we consummated our union as mare and stallion, don’t you think? I’m nowhere near my heat so I won’t accidentally get pregnant.”

We had made love many a time during the Season to alleviate the urges but, of course, always both as mares. However, this was the first time we had the opportunity to be heterosexual since she had joined Trixie and me in a de facto herd. I held out my hoof and she took it in hers. I drew her close and kissed her deeply.

When we parted, I said, “Join me in bed, my mare?”

“I would be delighted, my stallion.”

Let it be known that while the alabaster unicorn is dignified and refined in public, she’s a wildcat in the sheets!

Ultimately, it took both Thorax’s putting a hoof down and Trixie’s increasingly impatient demands to get Twilight to spend a week at Canterlot Castle. The purple alicorn’s premonition that catastrophe was just around the next bend of the road grew a little thin – even if she might be technically correct given Ponyville’s colorful history of disasters. Regardless of her concerns, there were portals connecting the palaces, alert guardsponies, and Starlight Glimmer wanting a trial run at the reins of the School of Friendship. My friend’s vague feelings of impending doom coming to Ponyville were not sufficient to escape her long-overdue turn to preside over Day Court. To everypony’s surprise, it was not Ponyville she should have been worried about.

Furious knocking at our door awoke Trixie and me very late in the evening.

My wife shifted in my embrace to call out, “The Tired and Very Comfortable Trixie hereby orders the latest emergency threatening the realm to reschedule itself to a more reasonable hour!” She gripped my forelegs tighter around her barrel and snuggled into me, letting out a contented sigh. I also sighed but for a different reason. I didn’t share my wife’s optimism at our chances to get back to sleep.

Right on cue, the knocking got even louder, accompanied by a mare’s voice I thought I recognized. I moved my mouth close to my wife’s ear. “Pretty sure that’s Twilight.”

Trixie nodded. “You can thank me in the morning for leaving the anti-teleportation fields up around our chambers. Perfect for times exactly like this.”

The knocking became so strong that I saw the protective spells on the door spark to life. In the crib next to our bed, Gemini started to whine. I gave my wife a kiss. “Come on, dear. Time to be a good friend.”

Trixie muttered under her breath as she scooted towards our foal. “For waking our little Gemmy, somepony won’t be for much longer.”

I found that one of my legs had fallen asleep while wrapped around my wife, forcing me to limp while wincing at the pins-and-needles feeling. To stop the infernal thumping noise as quickly as possible, I used my unicorn magic to open the door. As I suspected, a very frustrated Twilight was on the other side, surrounded by four of my guardsponies. Thorax stood behind her. It was his worried look as much as anything that brought me to full wakefulness.

Without preamble, the alicorn marched inside, her wings ruffling. “Regis Novellus is missing. Did he come here to play with Gemini?”

“No,” came the sharp response from Trixie. A glance showed me that my wife had picked up our foal and was trying to soothe them.

Thorax said, “I’m sorry for waking you… all of you. But it’s three in the morning and Regis has never been out this late. He’ll either suddenly reappear around two or we’ll find him with Moon Dancer. She came with us, and with a whole box of honeycomb. She was still reading in the room next to ours and hasn’t seen him.”

Twilight began pacing, staring at the ground. “I sent Moony to the castle library. Maybe he went there? That can’t be right, though. We showed him where she was staying. Maybe he went in the same direction as in my castle? Down a floor and three rooms to the southeast?”

“Your Highness… uh… Highnesses!”

We all turned to see a batpony night guard in the hallway. His eyes were wide and darted between Twilight and me.

“Report, Sergeant Night Streak,” I ordered.

He shifted on his hooves. “There’s… a situation. Please come with me to the prisoner cells.”

I heard Twilight gasp. Before I could respond, there was a flash of light and Thorax, Twilight, and I stood at the entrance to the castle dungeons. I had to gallop to try to keep up with the alicorn. The numbness in my leg was dissipating, but not fast enough.

When we reached the door to Chrysalis’ cell, I saw Twilight standing in a wide stance, her mane and tail on fire and her eyes radiating white light. She had used a shield to push the guards and mages further down the corridor and keep them there. The alicorn’s voice had a bass undertone as it echoed off the walls of the hallway. “Move away from my son, you monster.”

Thorax wrapped his forelegs around his wife, apparently trusting his chitin to keep him from incurring serious burns. He pushed her back a couple of steps. “No sudden movements, dear. Stay calm.”

That gave me just enough room to peer inside. It may have been the tension in the atmosphere that made me do it. I laughed. “The situation is under control, Twilight. Your son has tackled the bad guy.”

Indeed, Chrysalis’ head was pressed down into one of the many lengths of her endless scarf, Regis Novellus lying on top. Her crown was completely flattened by his body and one eye was shut to keep little hooves from poking it. If the foal’s smile and the changeling queen’s grimace were any indications, only one of them was comfortable.

Twilight’s mane and tail flared a bit brighter, causing her husband to wince. “She’s drained him of all his emotions! Who knows how much pain he is in right now!”

Regis chose that moment to snort and snuggle a bit more into his pillow.

Chrysalis hissed, “Quiet, all of you! You’ll wake the nymph.”

The alicorn’s mane and tail fires extinguished as she gaped. Her eyes were still glowing. I heard the shield holding back the guardsponies dissipate as Twilight ordered, “Lower the fields protecting this cell. I need to get inside, now!”

A unicorn guardspony trotted past us, saying, “None of us have the key code, Your Highness. I’ll get Linear Algorithm and bring her here!”

The pinned-down changeling queen rolled the one eye she had open. “Idiots. All of you. I give you my word as a queen that no harm will befall my grandfoal while in my presence.”

That caused Twilight to release the magic she was holding, revealing her purple irises. If anything, her mouth dropped open even more. The changeling’s actions and lack of remorse were beyond reprehensible by any measure, but her pride would never allow her to go against her word.

It was Thorax who recovered first. “What is your game, mother? How did you lure our foal to you?”

Chrysalis hissed as Regis wriggled on top of her. The foal rolled over and lay stretched out like a cat, bending his back at an angle that would have made any adult pony painfully uncomfortable. Regis, however, just grinned happily as his front and rear hooves draped over her skull. The new position did allow “grandma” to open her other eye a bit.

The queen said, “Still a bit slow. Your increased responsibilities haven’t changed you for the better, have they? Do you really think I have any way to influence anyling through all the shields you have draped around my chamber? No. I was shocked when I heard something behind me three nights ago. Turning, I saw this nymph staring up at me with that infuriating grin.”

She licked her lips then froze as her head ornament stretched. If nothing else, Chrysalis was certainly concerned about the foal’s comfort. After he settled down with only one accidental poke in her eye, she continued. “Not a single scrap of fear in his body. I accept him as a worthy heir.”

Well, wasn’t that interesting? Maternal instincts kicking in, I suppose.

“I will not trust you with my foal, mad queen,” Twilight snarled. Regis twitched an ear then looked up, blinking slowly. His eyes opened as wide as saucers and he sprang off his makeshift bed with a happy cry, moving as fast as his little legs could carry him – directly toward his mother and the layers of shielding in the doorway.

Twilight gasped. “Regis, stop!” If the foal hit the shields designed to painfully halt a full-grown changeling queen…

The foal halted in mid-stride as I heard a thump. Chrysalis had his tail clamped in her teeth. Her forelegs were stretched straight behind her as she had reached the limit of what the chains fastened above her hooves and to the back wall would allow. The queen’s neck and head pressed against the floor to allow her to reach forward as far as possible. Unfortunately, Chrysalis’ momentum had propelled her rump high up over her head – definitely not the most dignified position for any monarch, past or present. Through her teeth, she said, “No, child. Do not go near the doorway. Bad magic.”

The foal pointed up at his grandmother’s rear end and laughed. She growled at his finding humor in her predicament which just caused him to laugh louder.

Suddenly, Regis was trotting up to the doorway. I saw Chrysalis’ eyes go wide. He must have slipped away when she relaxed a bit.

The foal sat down upon seeing his mother’s outstretched hoof. “Regis Novellus, you will listen to your mother. Do not touch the pretty magic field. Owies. No… touch.”

The foal giggled and looked the doorway up and down. As he reached for the fields, a unicorn mare slid to a stop behind me. Linear Algorithm took stock of the situation quickly and with a flash of her horn, the entrance to the cell was free of magic.

The foal pronked up to his mother. “Mommy! Mommy!”

“What? What?” she answered automatically.

“Come! Come! See funny gramma!” Regis beamed at Thorax. “Hi, Daddy!” The foal grabbed one of Twilight’s forehooves and dragged her into the cell. “Come! Come!”

Linear Algorithm gave me an uncertain look. I shook my head and followed Twilight into the cell with Thorax close behind. Chrysalis had righted herself to a sitting position. She leaned back slightly as the alicorn approached.

Twilight’s scowl returned. “You are trying to turn my own son against me, aren’t you? He always listens but now he’s defying me.”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Oh, please. Children have minds of their own. Don’t blame me for the curiosity that obviously comes from you. Your worse half doesn’t have the mental facility for it.”

Twilight’s deeper frown drew a delighted laugh from her son. “Funny face! Funny face!”

The alicorn’s ears flicked a few times in annoyance. “I will not allow you to corrupt my foal. You are the worst kind of influence.”

Chrysalis laughed in the alicorn’s face. “You are every bit an overprotective first-time mother, aren’t you? I suppose I should not have expected anything else. And all you know about children and what they think and feel comes from books, doesn’t it? Perhaps you should rely more upon your dear, dear mother-in-law to help you.” She chuckled. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

The changeling queen loomed over Regis, capturing his attention. She put on a deep, echoing voice. “You, Regis Novellus, will become greater than all your forebears. For you, all changelings, ponies, and alicorns will bend their knee. You will lord over all of Equus as its absolute ruler! Your power will be boundless! Your whim will be law! None will dare oppose a creature so immense in power.” She raised her head and paused dramatically. “You… will rule… all!”

The foal gasped and looked up higher and higher to keep staring into his grandmother’s eyes… then kept going. He rolled onto his back and laughed uproariously, kicking his hooves in the air with his eyes closed just as his mother would sometimes do.

Chrysalis smirked at Twilight. “Does your little one appear to be corrupted? Or just amused?”

I turned to the guardspony next to me. “Linear, could Chrysalis be telling the truth? Could Regis have visited here three nights ago or even the nights afterward?”

The mare glanced at Chrysalis before returning her gaze to me. “It’s possible. The guards perform hourly checks on the prisoner, and there is a sound-dampening spell applied to the doorway in the evenings.”

“Sound-dampening spell?” I asked.

“Yes. The queen has… um… terrible flatulence at night.”

Chrysalis' unhappy voice cut through the air. “It’s that low-quality love you dolts keep feeding me!” I turned to see her expression change into a toothy grin. “Now if you could arrange for some of Shining Armor’s love…”

“Enough!” said Twilight. “We’re leaving. Regis – bedtime!” As she reached for her foal, he deftly bounced onto his hooves and scampered away. His delighted giggles traced his path into a shadowy corner of the cell. His mother spared Chrysalis a glance and wove her way through the hanging scarf sections until her horn lit up the area, revealing it to be empty. “What?”

At the last moment, I saw Regis creep up behind Twilight and pull her tail. He yelled, “BOO!”

“GYAH!” Twilight jumped high in the air and came down tangled in parts of the scarf that draped everywhere. The foal laughed and clapped his hooves before darting away to a new corner. The alicorn held a hoof to her chest, trying to slow her breathing as a concerned Thorax put a comforting hoof on her withers.

Meanwhile, Chrysalis chortled off to my right. “Good nymph! Go scare that mean old hag!”

Untangling herself, the alicorn glared at her mother-in-law then cast a broad beam of light in the direction her foal had scampered, showing a small table carrying the scroll naming the victims of Chrysalis’ attack during the Royal Wedding. No Regis, though, and no shadow big enough for him to hide in.

I glanced back at Chrysalis in time to see her flick an ear then grin even wider. A few seconds later, she spun her head to point at her tail and yelled, “Boo!”

Sure enough, Regis stood there with a hoof upraised, ready to grab and yank on his grandmother’s tail. The colt tumbled backward, laughing gaily at being caught out. While Thorax and a light-casting Twilight raced around Chrysalis’ left side, Linear Algorithm and I sprinted to the right to cut off his means of escape… well, at least the unicorn guard did. I got my hooves caught on the Queen’s endless scarf and tumbled to the stone floor.

After needing a second to absorb the pain, I opened my eyes. Immediately, I perceived two things: the sound of Chrysalis’ howling laughter behind me and the sight of a well-lit corner of the cell in front. Regis jumped into a small section of the wall cast into shadow by one of the loops of the scarf and just… disappeared. Well, maybe the shadows seemed to shimmer on their edges briefly, but I could have imagined it.

Linear’s shocked gasp let me know I hadn’t. “Shadow-walker!”

“What?” asked Twilight. “What do you mean?” Meanwhile, I stood and pulled my legs from their blue and green knit bindings.

The visibly shaking guardsmare stammered. “The foal stepped into the darkness and it embraced him! He will reappear in another shadow to stalk his victims! To steal their very—YAAAHHHHH!”

The flightless unicorn’s jump put the alicorn’s positively to shame. The clang of her helmet against the stone roof echoed through the chamber. At this point, Chrysalis rolled onto her back and kicked her legs in the air just like her grandfoal had done – accompanied by unrestrained peals of laughter. Regis looked at the prone form of Linear Algorithm and whimpered, his ears flat on his head. He glanced up at his mother with wide eyes before bolting for the nearest corner of the room.

Twilight’s horn flared and the cell was bathed in light. Regis dived at a shadow only to have it disappear. Instead, he slammed headfirst into the wall and crumpled into a heap. Thorax quickly scooped up his sniffling son and held him to his chest. The foal broke out into wails of distress and I could see tears glisten at the edges of his closed eyes.

Chrysalis righted herself and snorted, turning to Twilight. “I should have expected as much. You really are a…”

Her words stopped and her head snapped back as Twilight’s eyes glowed white and looked directly at Chrysalis. The changeling queen’s words may have halted, but her smirk remained the same. After a ten-second stare-down, Twilight turned away. “We’re leaving.”

I said, “No. Not yet. Bring Regis over here.” With a steadying hoof, I brought the guardsmare to her hooves. “Linear Algorithm, what pony were you referring to? Which one can walk through shadows?”

The mare’s eyes regained focus only to find visibly displeased parents staring daggers at her – the mother’s daggers hidden behind eyes shining white or possibly a smoldering mane and tail. To her credit, Linear answered the question. “The… Pony of Shadows. It is rumored he consumed the very souls of his victims.” Behind me, the quiet snickering of Chrysalis ended abruptly.

I pointed a hoof, saying, “Does this foal look like the Pony of Shadows to you? In any way at all?”

A tear-streaked muzzle and desperate clutching at his father’s chitin emphasized the point better than any argument I could express with words.

The unicorn’s ears drooped and her head followed soon afterward. “No, Your Highness.”

“No,” I repeated. “Isn’t it true that Princess Luna could likewise do so?” I was taking a gamble on this one.

Linear opened her mouth and closed it. She tried again. “It was rumored that she could, sir.”

“Indeed.” I looked to the entrance to the cell where another mage and four guardsponies watched silently. “I want all of you to keep that in mind. Also, allow the parents to break the news of their foal’s special talent in the way they see fit, rather than hearing about it from half-truths and distorted lies. Everything you hear and see tonight is not to be reported or repeated. Am I clear?” All of them nodded their heads immediately and fervently. Good. The parents had enough to deal with.

Linear’s voice was very quiet. “I’m sorry, Your Highnesses…” She turned to King Thorax. “…Your Majesty.”

“Apology accepted,” said Chrysalis.

Turning to look at her face, she seemed to be entirely serious.

“Likewise,” I heard Twilight say behind me. “And as I said before, we’re leaving. Are you coming, Mark?”

“In a minute. I have something to discuss with Her Majesty.”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow but said nothing. As I heard the foal’s cries get softer along with the sound of receding footsteps, the guardsmare said, “If you’d like a replacement, Your Highness—”

I sat down. “Please take your place by my side, Linear.” A few seconds later, I heard the unicorn mare walk up to my left. Chrysalis’ eyes had not left mine.

After the last of the hoofbeats and cries had faded away in the distance, the queen finished her earlier sentence. “… mean old nag.” She sighed and put on a more pleasant smile. “Thank you for being of use to my grandnymph.”

“More so than you,” I replied.

She looked to the side and tapped her chin with a hoof. After a few moments, Chrysalis lowered her hoof and said, “Yet.”

That might be true. It would be difficult to prevent Regis from visiting his imprisoned grandmother who had essentially sworn her life to protect the foal while in our presence. Perhaps bathing the room in light from multiple sources and removing all obstacles that could create a shadow would work. Still, I didn’t want to use that card unless I both needed and wanted to. Chrysalis sat back and smiled, obviously willing to wait me out this time rather than the other way around.

I said, “A Council of Changeling Hive Queens is being called. You have been invited to attend as a non-voting member but may refuse if you wish.”

The former hive queen scowled at my thinly-veiled insult but recovered quickly with a pitiless smile. “But why would I wish to participate? That is what you want, but not I.” Chrysalis stood up and began pacing back and forth, keeping her eyes and toothy smile focused on me. “I might be persuaded to come, but there is a price for all things.”

I rolled my eyes then put my head in my hooves. “Here it comes.”

“I demand to be set free after… stop shaking your head! Look at me!”

I acquiesced to her last two requests so I could look her in the face again. “No. Just no. I’d rather hold the Council later when that single queen drops her demand.” That gave me an idea. “Which reminds me to ask you. Which queen would you say holds the biggest grudge against you? Out of all of them, which is most likely to try to get even at the Council, considering that they all agreed you had to retain your nullifying bands.”

Chrysalis’ smile fell and she stared at me. I waved a forehoof. “Don’t say Twilight Sparkle or Carpacia. The first no longer considers you a threat… uh… until you cleverly made yourself one tonight. The second won’t do so until you have an army following you again.”

“Queen Sanguine Dreams,” said Chrysalis.

“Right in one!” I cheered. “I wonder why that might be?”

Chrysalis tapped a hoof rapidly as she narrowed her eyes. “I withdraw my demand. Instead, one part of my fee will be a promise from all of the participants not to cause me harm. In addition, your troops will ensure this is so.”

That only covered part of what I wanted. I said, “Of course, so long as you understand that the other queens gagging, binding, and stuffing you under the table for being disruptive is not considered ‘harmful’.”

The queen narrowed her eyes further, then nodded.

I clapped my hooves. “See how easy compromise is, Queen Chrysalis? It’s one of the key principles of Friendship. I’m pleased you already grasp the concept so thoroughly.”

“Stop trying to distract me. I’m not done with my conditions.”

I nodded. We at least had some momentum going.

Her grin returned. “I have changed my mind. After a few conversations with my near-sister, Postgena, and to a lesser extent her Hive Savior, Cadance, I have decided to… ugh… ‘compromise’.” Her smile twisted into a leering grin. “I will accept your seed to spawn my next of kin.”

Momentum stopped. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s what you really want.” In the background, my mind was racing for a way to turn her down that wouldn’t jeopardize the Council.

“Oh, but I am quite serious. Once I got over my ‘pony-like concerns’, I saw the wisdom in the suggestion. Surely you wouldn’t refuse just because of your personal convictions, especially now that we are so close to the agreement you wanted?”

I noticed what she didn’t say. “Are you telling me that this single favor would gain your commitment?”

Chrysalis waved a hoof. “Oh no, no, no! This is just the start of negotiations. We still need to discuss establishing my new hive, tribute Equestria will provide, restitution, and many other matters.”

Stalled too long, queen-bitch. My panicked brain had finally found and grasped a Get Out of Jail Free card. I smiled, which immediately caused Chrysalis’ to slip a bit. I said, “You have to realize that I am not a mere common stallion that ruts every tail shoved his direction. No, I am royalty.”

The changeling lowered her horn threateningly. “You dare to—?”

I closed my eyes and waved a hoof. “No, I am not. I apologize. That was phrased poorly.” I opened my eyes to stare into hers. “What I am saying is that I only mate with mares in our de-facto herd. As I understand it, you are asking to become a member, is that correct?”

Chrysalis pulled her head back and squinted slightly. After a few seconds, she said, “What would that imply?”

I laughed. “Oh, nothing you can’t handle, I’m sure. I hardly want to bore you with the details.”

My smile didn’t seem to provide any assurance. Chrysalis said, “Tell me.”

“Well, let’s see… as third-mare, you would be oath-sworn to do the bidding of Trixie and Rarity at all times. And of course, they do listen to my suggestions.” I put my head on a hoof in a thoughtful pose. “Hmmm. The first thing we’d have to do is cut off those disgracefully messy tail and mane hairs. Yes, I think a buzz-cut would do you a world of good.”

Her eyes went wide and she opened her mouth to say something but I barreled on. “Maybe spending a month as a table or a year as a statue would be educational. You would certainly have something to talk about with Discord.”

“Enough!” the queen’s wings buzzed in agitation until she got them under control. After several breaths through her nose, Chrysalis said through gritted teeth, “I withdraw my demand… for now.”

While Chrysalis thought about her next request… and doubtless triple-checked it for flaws… I considered how to best tell Trixie about this conversation and make it amusing. Unfortunately, anything related to herd management fell squarely into her hooves, and I had discovered Trixie’s sense of humor didn’t extend there. Frankly, I couldn’t see a way to tell my wife about my “offer” and avoid sleeping on the couch for an extended length of time. Good thing all the guards were sworn to secrecy.

Chrysalis held the underside of one hoof in front of her and was pressing on different areas with the other, apparently counting something out while mumbling to herself. I interrupted her musings.

“Do you wish to retire or do you want to start a new hive?”

“A barren changeling queen has no reason to exist. Of course, I will start a new hive. And it will—”

“Let’s talk about location. Would the Crystal Caves under Canterlot serve your needs?”

That earned me a sharp look. She said, “Are you serious?” After a pause. “You are serious.”

“I am. Close to a ready food source. Plenty of room to expand. Lots of materials at your beck and call. What’s not to like?”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Living under the hooves of my oppressors. All my actions under constant scrutiny thanks to your pet hives placing ‘observers’ in every chamber. Continuous poisoning of the minds of my children.”

“And still the best offer you’ve had… by far. And a challenge that I think you are capable of meeting.”

Her nostrils flared. “Don’t patronize me, stallion. What would keep me from just leaving? I could abandon such a perverted excuse for a hive and start over someplace your reach doesn’t extend.”

“Your word.”

Chrysalis stared at me intently as if she could somehow extract every secret from my soul. After giving her a minute, I stood up. “We can talk more about that topic later. Right now, I want to get back to bed. Do we have an agreement regarding the Council? Your guaranteed safety in return for attendance?”

Chrysalis snorted. “Also: daily excursions through Canterlot and the castle, only the finest quality love, and my grandnymph allowed to visit me whenever he wishes.”

I said, “We’ll start with weekly, I’ll arrange it, and that’s Twilight’s decision… but I will recommend it.”

The changeling queen smiled. “Well, well. Perhaps you were right, Mark Wells. Compromise can be a good thing.” I didn’t need a changeling next to me to read the condescending emotion in her grin.

I smiled back. “Just keep in mind that ‘compromise’ doesn’t mean taking half a slice until you can grab the whole cake when the other isn’t looking.”

Chrysalis’ lips curled back, showing even more of her fangs. “Of course not. Why would I settle for just a cake?”

Yep. Still the same ‘mad queen’. I shook my head as I turned around and marched to the doorway. “Good night, Chrysalis. Don’t let the bedbugs pull your tail.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Obviously, both Airy Words and I could not imagine how a filly like Cozy Glow could be like she is. I suggested that she was actually an adult midget embittered by being treated like a child all the time and it grew from there. So this version of Cozy will be a lot different from canon.

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 78 - And Now For Something Completely Different

Dear Prince Mark Wells,

I’m sorry I didn’t write earlier, but I’ve been super-busy learning everything there is to know about the Power of Friendship and how the school is run. To be honest, I’ll admit I was a little disappointed that I only got the vice-headmare position, but I’m determined to make myself completely indispensable to both Twilight and especially Starlight Glimmer!

Right now I’ve taken it upon myself to make suggestions to Twilight’s first draft for the bylaws of the Equestrian Board of Education, resolve scheduling conflicts with the Element Bearers, and renegotiate most of the school’s subcontracts for necessary supplies and maintenance work. I also put a bug in Starlight’s ear to let me take care of the performance reviews and raises for the school employees at the end of the term. She’s not agreed to that yet, but I’m evaluating everyone’s work in preparation for that day!

The jobs Starlight HAS assigned to me are:

1) Preparing an on-call substitute teacher list,

2) Making sure the upcoming Spell-Venger Hunt goes off without a hitch

3) After all the above are done, If I have time, I’ll reach out to a Mr. Discord to see if he can help in some way. I haven’t met the pony yet, but I understand he has a unique perspective on Friendship that might be worth a guest talk to the students.

So, in short, everything is going pretty great and I’m certainly feeling useful. Please let me know when you can visit so I can give you a special tour!

Your Vice-headmare in Friendship,

Cozy Glow

For a being of immeasurable power, the Lord of Chaos certainly had thin skin. This evening, it was Princess Diadem’s turn to learn this fact the hard way.

Today was my stint to preside over Night Court. Early this session, I was listening to Count Chalk Cola describe in minute detail why he should be advanced in the Peerage of Equestria to the rank of Baron. I was tempted to acquiesce to his request, not because of deeds done for the welfare of the nation, which were minor and infrequent, but because I had to blink away tears every time I heard him say his name. So far, I had kept from laughing out loud, but my advisor’s head tilt and confounded expression at my emotional state were not making it any easier. She just wasn’t in on the joke.

I pricked up my ears as a familiar sound filled the throne room. I held up a hoof to stop the unicorn as he related a particularly embellished recounting of his heroics during the Storm King’s invasion. The good Count had opened an evacuation portal. Big deal. Perhaps I should likewise raise dozens of schoolfoals to the same station or higher. The sound of bubbles being released underwater bounced off of every wall and surface.

Looking up, I felt a smile tug on the corners of my mouth. With big, exaggerated movements, Discord swam down from the ceiling fountain while upside down. He wore oversized flippers and a primitive scuba tank on his back. His wide eyes beneath diving goggles and unused snorkel completed the look. Over the sound of the respirator and air bubbles, I heard a voice from my childhood.

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”

Jacques Cousteau. I hadn’t heard his voice in ages but I could never forget that combination of French accent and earnest intent.

I watched Discord slowly float downwards until he entered the pool on the right of the throne. Having a hunch about what would happen next, I saw Discord’s head and neck emerge from the left pool.

The draconequus spit out his regulator and gasped theatrically. “Point to remember. Never mix TriOx and laughing gas, no matter how good of an idea it seems at the time.”

I laughed. “Well, thanks for that, Discord. You’ve made my evening.”

The unicorn noblepony stammered and made various sounds of polite outrage. Had to get that out of the way first. I turned to the stallion. “Count Chocu— Count Chalk Cola. I will review your request with the other Triarchs at the next Peerage Council. Thank you for the… exhaustive rundown of your qualifications.” Hopefully, that would do it.

It didn’t. The Count said, “And will I receive your endorsement?”

My smile turned much more formal. “I make it a practice to no longer give out my endorsement except in cases that relate to the continued security of Equestria.”

Discord slithered up to sit on Trixie’s throne. He wore my wife’s ‘Night Court Formal’ cloak and ‘show off to minor nobility’ crown. He said, “Say! That’s exactly the subject I came here to discuss with you. You really are clever.” He turned to my advisor. “Have you been training him? Goodness knows Trixie has been trying and failing for years.”

The nonplussed changeling princess looked up from her clipboard. I had to hand it to her – the mildly disapproving stare hadn’t changed one iota even after the Lord of Chaos arrived. “Are you on the list of approved supplicants to the Throne?”

Discord gasped happily. “I can supply all sorts of thrones!” He then proceeded to demonstrate this with a wave of his clawed hand. A downpour of gilded royal chairs cascaded into the pools on both sides of the raised platform.

Her eyes narrowed. “Then you need to get in line like everybeing else.”

I needed to stop this battle of stubbornness before it started. “I’m always willing to make time for an unscheduled visit from the second-best Ogres & Oubliettes Dungeon Master on Equus.”

The draconequus clapped. “Oh, you tried to make a funny, didn’t you? Perhaps you got your wires crossed in that double-personality brain of yours. Vous better than moi? Pshaw and double pshaw!” He plopped a bowler hat onto his head and removed it, revealing a much smaller Discord going through the same motions to uncover an even smaller Discord, and so on and so on. Together, they chanted, “Quantity over quality, that’s what I always say!”

Well, I’d admit that Discord took his turn at DM more often than the rest of us combined, in no small part because of his endless creativity and ability to bring worlds to life. Still, his phrasing could have been better. “So you and Fluttershy plan to out-beget changeling queens at their own game? Fine. I’ll expect a few score mini-Discords in your first round of kids.”

The Lord of Chaos slammed the hat back onto his head and crushed it flat. “Better to do something right once than wrong a thousand times, I always say!”

I chuckled. “What’s on your mind, Discord?”

The flattened hat zoomed behind him and expanded around the Lord of Chaos. In a moment, he was sitting in a floating space pod chair that would have felt at home in the 60s. “Well, if you must know, I understand you are giving out endorsements willy-nilly, left-and-right, and slantways-and-sideways for the vice-headmare position at Twilight’s School of Adolescent Chaos. Just thought I’d add your thum… ah, hoof’s up to the references section of my résumé.” He pulled a scroll out of Diadem’s ear and unrolled it in front of us. It contained a list of names, one on each line with two checkboxes labeled “Nice” and “Naughty.”

I chuckled. “I don’t think Santa Hooves’ checklist will impress anyone but Twilight Sparkle… and that’s only because she loves checklists.”

Discord’s eyes doubled in size as he turned the scroll so he could look at it. “Egads! I’d best return this before that ancient reindeer notices it’s missing! A couple of corrections first, though.” He let out the scroll until it showed names starting with the letter ‘D’. “Blah, blah, blah …‘Derpy Hooves: Nice’ … yada, yada … ‘Diadem: Nice’” He squinted at my advisor. “Mmmm... no. Can’t have that.”

A pink eraser in the shape of Discord’s head appeared in his paw. The draconequus furiously scraped the offending checkbox clean, much to the displeasure of the protesting eraser. He winked at Diadem. “Nothing but anthracite for you, young lady.” The eraser transformed into a self-inking stamp that rotates in the center when pressed down. When Discord did so, a large black checkmark was left in Diadem’s ‘Naughty’ box.

“Foalish,” said the changeling with a roll of her eyes.

“But fun!” countered Discord, returning his gaze to the list. “Anyway, on to… Dis… cord.” His voice fell when he saw what was on the scroll. A black rectangle filled the space normally held by two checkboxes. The heading for the box was three times as large as that for any other name on the list: ‘FOREVER NAUGHTY.’

Diadem snickered, bringing a hoof up to hide her mouth.

Discord looked sad for only a moment before he recovered. “Aha! I see the problem. I’ll translate from Ye Eldest Druidish. I had forgotten how old that bearded ungulate was.” The ink on the page flowed until Discord’s label read: ‘FOREVER NICEST.’

He smiled. “There we go!”

The scroll whirled at high speed until the full length of the paper was once again rolled up. It continued to spin with a “thwack, thwack, thwack” sound until it disappeared in a flash of magic.

With a burst of light, Discord was wearing an argyle sweater and glasses. Yes, the pattern on the frames and lenses of the glasses was argyle as well. The Einstein hairstyle was a bit much. “Back to the matter at paw. I know, I know. You don’t have to remind me. Twilight turned me down for the headmare spot, but you must admit that as vice-headmare I would keep things stimulating for the students at Twilight’s school. And nothing is more important for early brain development.”

I smiled. “Sorry to burst your bubble, Discord, but Twilight has already chosen Cozy Glow for that job.”

“Whoooo?” Discord turned to face Princess Diadem who transformed into Cozy Glow with a jump and squawk of surprise. Her clipboard went flying and I heard a splash from one of the pools.

The draconequus rubbed his chin. “Can’t say we’ve ever met. I just bet the little mare won’t mind being reassigned to something more useful, like head groundskeeper.”

I sighed. “Discord, please let my advisor transform on her own.”

Both he and Diadem disappeared with a pop. When the light faded, a wide-eyed Diadem sat on Trixie’s throne, now wearing my wife’s cape and crown. She cradled a golden scepter in one hoof topped with the smiling likeness of Twilight’s head. When the disembodied head said “Hi” in a perfect imitation of Twilight’s voice, Diadem squeaked and tossed it away from herself. It spun off the stage and clattered on the marble floor, declaring “Ow” every time it bounced. Discord stood next to me, a dripping wet clipboard in his paw. He gave Diadem a mildly disapproving stare that was a spot-on mimicry of the changeling princess.

As my advisor took off the regalia and scrambled back to her hooves, I said. “Sorry, friend. No endorsement. I bet you would give a great guest lecture, though.”

Discord’s face went slack and his ears drooped in obvious boredom. “Too blasé. Too predictable. Too little chance of glorious sustained chaos.”

Diadem yanked the clipboard away from the draconequus with her magic. “You’ve got your answer. Now you need to leave. Stop wasting the time of His Highness and all the ponies in Night Court.”

His face came alight with interest, and not in a friendly way if I recognized that gleam in his eyes. Discord shrugged his shoulders and he was wearing a long brown jacket that reached to his knees. The floppy hat and scarf with stripes of varying width completed the ‘Fourth Doctor’ look. “Ah, so it is worthwhile time management you are worried about, is it?”

This could not end well. I said, “Discord—”

He talked right over me, staring into Diadem’s eyes. “You need to lighten up a bit. Fortunately for you, I’m always ready to help those in need.”

In another flash, Discord, the pools, and the dais were gone. My throne now sat on a wide wooden stage, illuminated by spotlights beaming down from overhead scaffolding. All the magic lanterns around the chamber were gone, leaving the spotlights as the only source of illumination. One rather dim light illuminated me while the rest clearly designated my advisor as the star of the show. Princess Diadem now wore a very snazzy tuxedo top complete with a starched white dress shirt, black bow tie, and dark red jacket with tails.

She raised a hoof and shook it furiously before belting out the finest tenor vibrato I had ever heard.

“Discooooooooooord! I find this has no amuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUuuusmeeeeeeent.” It wasn’t just the voice that effortlessly zoomed between window-rattling strength and an ending whisper. Nor the captivating phrasing and color of her vocalization. It was her stage presence that made me lose my train of thought entirely. I had never sat in the front row of the Met or any other opera house on Earth, but I could only imagine this is what a rich patron would have experienced when Luciano Pavarotti performed. Well, assuming Pavarotti suddenly picked up Meryl Streep-level acting skills. Trixie had fallen asleep at the few opera performances she had dragged me to in Canterlot, but it would be literally impossible to do so here. It may have been my imagination, but I think the very walls of the throne room had vibrated with the resonant power of her voice.

Looking around, I saw every eye on every pony was staring at Diadem. Apparently, I had recovered before anypony else. Even Crimson Boulder had turned around, forgetting he was supposed to be watching the room and petitioners.

I leaned my head toward my advisor. “If you like, you can take a break. Or I can cancel the rest of this session.”

“NO!” Diadem punctuated the word with a stamp of a front hoof. I saw every member of the audience, for that’s what they were now, rock backward.

“NO!” She repeated. “I shall not beg! I shall not yield! I shall not bend a knee to that knave of a fool! I… shall… overCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!”

I had to cast a quick sound-deadening spell on my ears when Diadem reached that last, drawn-out note. When it ended, I heard a cracking noise. Glancing to the side I saw the stained-glass image of Tirek’s defeat now had a piece missing. Discord’s fictional presence as an active participant in the final battle had just been deleted. Maybe I’d cast the restoration spell later. Maybe.

“Very well.” I turned my head to Crimson who continued to stare slack-jawed at my advisor. Since I didn’t have a bucket of water, or even waterfalls or pools to work with, I had to snap my bodyguard out of his trance in a different way. “Please summon the next petitioner to the throne.”

The earth pony jumped and blinked rapidly. After an apologetic look to me with his ears flattened back, he turned around. “Sergeant-at-arms! Announce the next petitioner!”

A single spotlight flicked on, illuminating a space in front of the stage. From the petitioner’s doorway, I heard the Sergeant-at-arms call out, “Presenting Lord Jet Set!”

Wonderful. The one noble who made Count Chocula seem like a saint in comparison.

I forced a smile as the stallion stepped into the spotlight, blinking at the brilliance of the illumination. I said, “How may the Triarchy help you, my little pony?”

The petitioner stammered for a moment, looking only at my advisor. “Umm… If it pleases the Court, I would ask that Princess Diadem proclaim my request.” Jet Set then bowed respectfully.

Well, that was unexpected. “Only if you are willing,” I told her softly.

In answer, Diadem rose dramatically onto her rear hooves. One forehoof reached for the ceiling and her gaze followed. “Let it be knoooooooown in the great lands of EquEEEEEEEstriaaaaaa….”

Over the next couple of hours, the petitioners didn’t react at all to my ruling at the end of each spontaneous performance. That got me wondering. The next supplicant didn’t bat an eye when I suggested she eat a pint of strawberries instead of expecting the Crown to do anything about her neighbor’s unkempt lawn. Dame Proper Place curtseyed, thanked me and my advisor, and trotted out with a happily swishing tail. Glancing over at the Court Recorder, I saw that Majestic Quill didn’t have a sheet of paper on her clipboard, or a quill in her hoof for that matter. Ah well. It was going to be one of those times when no royal business was accomplished.

That’s when I noticed tears at the corners of Princess Diadem’s eyes. She held the same proud bearing as she had all night, but her ears twitched and her hooves shook noticeably.

I said to the Sergeant-at-arms. “Night Court will take a brief recess. My advisor and I will require privacy.”

Without waiting for his response, I covered the changeling princess and myself with an opaque privacy bubble. Diadem collapsed onto the stage, reminding me of a marionette whose strings had been cut. I had hoped that shutting her off from the audience would stop the glamour or spell that Discord had placed on her.

She ran a hoof over her eyes, sniffling. “That…. that…” My advisor let out a series of clicks and chirps that did not sound complimentary at all. “… excuse for a Lord of Chaos. He’s ruined me.”

I blinked in surprise and put a comforting hoof on her withers. “In what way?”

The changeling princess knocked my hoof away. “Don’t touch me! All I have is my reputation and he’s destroyed it. No pony will respect me ever again.” She looked down. “They will all point their hooves and laugh at the pathetic sideshow that he made out of me.”

Time to put on my counselor's hat. “Princess, were you sampling the emotions of the ponies at court today? Did you detect any amusement or derision from them.”

Diadem paused for a moment then shook her head.

“What was that?”

“I… No, I didn’t think to do so.”

“That’s because you were focusing on yourself. Diadem, ponies love music, and you have given each and every one of these supplicants a once-in-a-lifetime gift that they never could have imagined before they arrived at Night Court.”

She looked up at me with wide eyes.

I said, “Now, all pranks from Discord have a time limit. Do you think you could sing this well after the effect expires? Do you think you could hold an audience enraptured with your voice, creating all the positive emotions that you haven’t noticed until now because you’ve been too wrapped up in yourself?”

The princess blinked then slowly shook her head. “I could repeat the voice, but not the skill that makes the music. And I’ve never acted on stage before. I don’t know the first thing about it.”

“Would you like to know what it feels like to walk out on stage and captivate ponies with your own skill and presence?”

Diadem took a couple of deep breaths. In a soft voice, she said, “Yes, Your Highness.”

I smiled. “OK, I think this will work. Brace yourself just in case you go back into showpony mode.”

After dispelling the privacy bubble, I saw all the doors were closed and every guard was resolutely looking anywhere except at the throne. Only Crimson Boulder moved, and that was to glare at the others present, apparently to make sure they didn’t waver in their duties.

A glance showed me Diadem was still herself. No audience paying attention to her, no performer.

I said, “Discord! Discord! Discord!”

Crimson Boulder turned around from his position at the bottom of the stage, revealing Discord’s face on an earth pony body. He said, “Yeeeeeeeesssss?” Splashing noises brought my attention upwards. My bodyguard looked down at me from the fountain pool. The white swan floaty ring around his barrel helped lighten up his frown just a little.

When I looked back, the draconequus was himself again, lounging on a hammock set between two palm trees.

“You’re in rare form today, Discord. Anyway, I believe my advisor has something to say to you.”

In a burst of light, Diadem’s outfit was gone and Discord was standing between my advisor and myself. He wrapped an arm around each of us. The princess shuffled her hooves before quietly asking, “Would you teach me how to sing and act … please?”

Between reining in the excesses of the self-entitled nobles, dealing with the ministers who handled the day-to-day intricacies of running a country, and keeping a Chaos Lord amused, it wasn’t easy to find the time to fit in the more interesting duties. One of them was keeping up diplomatic relations between our world and the various others that Twilight and I had visited when chasing Starlight. It was fascinating to see the diversity between our Equestrias and how various events had played out differently. However, it was those very differences that enabled us to do trade to our mutual benefit. There were very few physical items that one world had that the other didn’t, but knowledge was an extremely valuable commodity. For example, I was able to license the aluminum production method we had developed to several worlds while we gained in other areas. The House Path dimension was very adept at blending technologies from a multitude of species which was revolutionizing our aeronautics industry.

The exceptions to the rule for physical item exports were the unique artifacts created by the Southern Wastes Hive. Communication hubs like the one worn by Chrysalis during her second invasion and the two-way communication plates were extremely popular. The methods of production were kept secret and even Twilight had to be shown how they were created by her resident Southern Wastes Hive scientist, Crisp Berry. If the Alicorn of Magic couldn’t reverse engineer these enchanted items, I didn’t expect any of her counterparts would do so either. At Queen Apicula’s insistence, revenue from their sale was equally split between the Equestrian Crown and her hive.

Anyway, this required the occasional visits back and forth between the worlds which were always fun, especially when we ended up in one of the very different Equestrias. Therefore, it was exceedingly strange that a certain anomaly had never occurred to me before.

“Hey, Twilight, I have a question for you about the mirror portals.”

The alicorn looked up from the paperwork on her desk. “Sure – what is it?”

“You know how when I came to Equestria, I was transformed into a pony, and when I went to Sunset Shimmer's Earth, I became a green-skinned humanoid?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How come when we were chasing Starlight Glimmer through all those alternate worlds, we never changed despite ending up in places where ponies were anthros or were all deer instead?”

I could almost see her teacher’s hat being donned. “Oh, that's easy. The time portal didn't have an auxiliary accommodation spell.”

“A what?”

“It's a secondary spell applied to a portal that adapts the user to the target dimension. When you set up a portal to an unknown destination, you can't always be sure of the conditions there, so the accommodation spell transforms you into the optimum lifeform at the end-point in order to cope.”

“That makes sense. I assume the reverse is true?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I smirked. “Some of the other species on this world might dispute the idea that ponies are the optimum lifeform.”

Twilight gave me an embarrassed smile. “Well, Star Swirl may have been a t-e-e-e-nsy bit biased when he made the auxiliary accommodation spell for the mirror portals.”

“You don’t say,” I replied drolly.

“Anyway, why did this suddenly come up?”

“I was just wondering what it's like to be some of the other lifeforms.”

Twilight arched an eyebrow. “Oh? Anything in particular?”

“W-e-l-l, maybe the anthro world for starters.”

“And why that one? Want to see what it's like to be as well-hung as that Mark was?”

I blushed a little. When I first arrived in Equestria, I had to learn to deal with all my privates being exposed to these habitual nudists. The fact that the mares seemed to expect stallions to “show their breeding potential” hadn’t made it any easier, but I’d gotten used to it eventually. I could still get thrown by innocent casual remarks like Twilight’s though. “Actually, I want to see if Marklestia is as sexy as I imagine she could be as an anthro.”

Twilight giggled. “Honestly, Mark, sometimes you’re more girly than half my mare friends.”

I shrugged. “Guilty. No complaints from Rarity though.”

“I’m beside myself that she and you found love together. After her experience with Blueblood, I wondered if her perception of stallions was permanently tainted.”

“I’m just happy that Rarity and my wife get along together so well. It made it a lot easier for me that it was Trixie who suggested that Rarity would make a good herdmate.”

Twilight nodded. “Sometimes we mares need to nudge our stallions to do the right thing. With your lack of upbringing in our culture, it’s even more important that you listen to Trixie when it comes to your relationships. Don’t think that you’ve learned everything there is to know yet.”

“I’ll keep that in mind but you know me when it comes to relationships – Mr. Hoof-in-Mouth.”

“Don’t worry,” Twilight said with a laugh. “We always make allowances for clueless stallions.”

“Gee, thanks, Snarkles.”

She giggled some more before replying, “You’re welcome. But we got off-topic, didn’t we? I’m guessing that you’re wondering if I could put an accommodation spell on the portal to the anthro-pony world.”

“Yeah.”

The alicorn looked thoughtful for a moment. “Hmm… I could do that easily enough but I don’t think that it’s a good idea to do so on the existing portal. It’s important to differentiate between our worlds and some ponies might not appreciate being forced to undergo a change. However, there’s nothing stopping us from setting up a second portal specifically for this purpose. I’ll contact that world’s Twilight and make arrangements.”

I grinned. “That’d be great, Twi. Thank you for indulging me.”

She returned the grin. “Hey, it sounds like fun. And after my experience in Sunset’s world, I reckon I could handle being a biped pony too.”

I suddenly found myself very curious about what a nude anthro Twilight would look like. And then I was afflicted by that very problem that being a naked stallion had caused me from day one in Equestria. I made a hasty exit from Twilight’s office and hoped that I wouldn’t bump into any of the staff as I headed for mine.

Due to prior commitments and her time filled with being both a princess and a mother, Twilight didn’t get around to working on the new portal for a few weeks. However, the day came when she announced that it was ready. The alicorn stood next to the new mirror that she had set up in the room reserved for all the portals and gestured towards it.

“After you,” Twilight said with a grin.

Knowing the mare, I was positive that she had already tested it. The only question was ‘how many times?’ I stepped through the portal and emerged into an identical room on the other side. I swayed briefly as I adjusted my balance for a biped stance and then looked around. An anthro Twilight smiled at me, looking just as sexy as I thought she would. I clamped down on those thoughts though and looked over my new body. Still a small stallion but nicely toned. I had kept up my training with Crimson and it showed. However, something else was conspicuous and I wondered if all stallions in this world were well-endowed regardless of size.

Twilight giggled. “You’re like a colt with a new toy.”

I smirked. “Curious wording there, Twilight.”

Her eyes went wide. This time it was her turn to blush. She stammered a bit before she recovered. “A-a-anyway, as I said, I didn't have much trouble adapting to standing on two legs despite the differences between humanoids and ponies.”

I blinked. “Wait. Does that mean…?” I pointed to the mirror.

The anthro alicorn grinned. “Yep. That was the Twilight from this world who wanted to experience what it was like being a quadruped. Fair exchange, I reckon.”

“Knowing you, I suppose I should have expected it. Anyway, now that I’m here, it’s time to answer the question…” With a surge of my magic, I assumed the taller Marklestia form. “Yep, it still works.” I used the portal as an actual mirror and looked myself over. Nice boobs – large without being too big. Broad hips and pleasing curves with just the right amount of padding. Pretty much identical to the local Celestia, I reckoned, including the full-length wavy pastel-rainbow of hair although still with my own cutie mark. I posed with one hand on my hip. “What do you think?”

“Nice, but you better stick to the pink short-mane version while you’re here. Don’t want to have somepony mistake you for their princess.”

“Good point,” I replied as I changed hair and tail lengths and colors. I looked at the result in the portal mirror and nodded in satisfaction. “I’ll make sure that Celestia is aware of this form before I take it out in public.” I switched back to being a stallion. “Okay, curiosity satisfied. Let’s go visit Ponyville in our new bodies for a while.”

“A while” turned out to be all morning which included a visit to Sugarcube Corner. Let’s just say that Pinkie Pie bouncing everywhere was the same in both dimensions but the effect on me was exponentially greater in the anthro world. After returning to my Equestria, I found being in my pony form helped me regain control of my libido.

It was later that afternoon when I ambled into Rarity’s guest room to find her swooning on the divan, sighing theatrically. I smiled. “Have you been practicing your pout all day while waiting for me?”

Rarity scoffed. “Please, dear. I don't need to practice. A lady is perfectly capable of garnering sympathy from her stallion at any time.” She plopped a throw pillow over her face and struck it half-heartedly. “No. I am beset by an affliction more terrible than swamp fever or feather flu. I lack... inspiration!” She threw the pillow dramatically away from her. Somewhat ruining the effect of the tantrum, it landed directly at its designated spot in between the pillows at the top of the guest room’s bed.

I yawned and scratched my neck with a rear hoof. “Well, it's a good thing you don't have feather flu. That would mean you've been masquerading as a unicorn this whole time.”

The fashionista gave me a narrow-eyed frown. “Don't scratch like a dog, dear. It is unbecoming.”

Of course, I then lolled my tongue out and started panting. I put on a goofy, empty-eyed grin as my rear hoof scratched harder than ever.

The unicorn mare sighed and rolled away from me. “Please, darling. You make it so difficult for a mare to have a good sulk. My Muse has escaped my grasp and I must mourn the loss of my talent for designing nighttime apparel. I would prefer you to leave me to wallow in my state of perpetual mediocrity.”

I sat down. So it was inspiration she was looking for? Perhaps she needed a new perspective? “Want me to tell you about how Twilight and I spent half the day today?”

“If you must,” she replied in a long-suffering tone.

“You know that other dimension where all the ponies are anthros?” The unicorn turned her head to give me a blank look. I expounded, “They walk upright on just their hind legs and instead of forelegs, they have arms with hands.”

“Ah, yes, I am with you now.”

“Twilight figured out how to apply an accommodation spell to a portal that switches our body type just like when we visit Sunset Shimmer’s world. She and I spent the morning wandering around their Ponyville with hardly anypony realizing we weren’t the local versions. Although I had to admit the truth to Snips when he asked me if my presence meant that the Great and Powerful Trixie was back in town for another show. My counterpart and his wife are presumably touring elsewhere at the moment.”

“What moved Twilight to do such a thing? What is wrong with visiting in our perfectly wonderful natural forms?”

I held up a hoof. “Guilty. I wanted to see what Marklestia would be like as an anthro.”

Rarity gave me a sly grin. “My dear, if you’re not careful, you are going to get altogether too self-enamored.”

I chuckled and switched to Celestial form. “Who? Me? Nah! I’m just a sexy exhibitionist when I’m a mare.” I made a graceful twirl in front of her before bending down to give my herdmate a kiss. “I just love to share it with you and my friends, so what’s the point in only pleasing myself?”

Rarity giggled. “So, you had fun as Marklestia then?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t want to be the cause of confusion considering they still have their Celestia, so I kept strictly to stallion form while in public for my first visit.” I paused to stare into the distance for a moment. “Although, I possibly missed an opportunity to pick up something nice. Perhaps some lace gloves that go down below the elbow.” I indicated what I meant then shrugged. “Though the effect is somewhat lost without fingers.”

“I'm sorry, what?” asked Rarity.

“You know – the wiggly appendages on the end of the hands. Like on a minotaur.” I looked down, feeling kind of dumb. “But, I guess that only works for anthropomorphs, though.” I changed back to stallion form and sighed.

I heard Rarity's singsong voice chime out. “IDEEEEEAAAAA!”

I looked up to see her beaming smile just an inch in front of my muzzle. I hadn't heard her get up off the couch.

She said, “Mark, darling, you and I will be visiting their fashion district in Canterlot. The new body shape is exactly what I need to kick my laziness back into the hole it climbed out of. I foresee dozens of pages of sketches in our near future!”

I let Rarity gently but firmly guide me toward the door. “Our future?”

She beamed. “But of course, Mark dear. You will have to model for me in your mare form. I'm just dying to see what you look like in their native style of lingerie!”

Well, that did sound enticing. Specifically, Rarity's reactions to her own private fashion show and seeing her get “in the zone” of her inspiration. There was no more vivacious and lively mare than the fashionista caught in the whirlwind of her creativity. Still, I felt honor-bound to point something out. “Rares, even more so than in our Equestria, clothing serves a decorative function there. I don’t even know if they have the concept of lingerie. It’s not like Sunset Shimmer’s world where clothing is mandatory. Even nobles being seen in public without clothes is standard. In fact, the two of us will be walking around in anthropomorphic form, completely nude.”

She let out her bright and silvery laugh. “Don't be ridiculous. You will have me draped on your arm, and I will be wearing a hat.”

It was actually too late in the day to take the train to Canterlot to check out the stores in the fashion district, but we already had the next best thing. As promised, Rarity had found herself a sunhat and we strolled arm-in-arm from Twilight’s castle towards Carousel Boutique. The unicorn was not yet quite steady on just two legs as her experience in Sunset’s world was several months ago. There was also a significant difference between walking on a dainty hoof and a foot. The latter was far better suited to bipedal locomotion but I knew it wouldn’t take her as long to adapt as I had to quadrupedal locomotion. Meanwhile, I inconspicuously supported her when she occasionally wobbled.

Rarity said, “It’s much brisker than I thought it would be. I regret not bringing something warm to wear.”

“Sorry, Rares. I should have thought of that. Like back in our world, it’s close to Hearth’s Warming but winter was scheduled a bit sooner here. Because of my pegasus genes, I’m adapted to the cold so I didn’t really notice it. As an alicorn, Twilight has pegasus traits too and was equally unaffected. However…” I swept my free arm to indicate several earth and unicorn ponies. “As you can see, winter apparel isn’t unknown here.”

Rarity drew closer to share in my warmth. “No matter, darling. It’s a good reason to cuddle up to you.”

I gave her a playful smile. “As if you need an excuse anyway.”

I think the fact that Rarity was leaning possessively on my arm raised more eyebrows than any missteps. The local Rarity might have to contend with some gossip later. Anthro Mark might be surprised to learn that he’d been seen with the local fashionista, but stallions were expected to attract several mares. It was this unavoidable confusion that made me suggest that I talk to the local Rarity first before confronting her with a doppelganger. And so, I entered the boutique by myself while my herdmate cooled her heels outside.

Anthro Rarity was fussing with a dress on a mannequin when the bell rang announcing her visitor. She looked up and gave me a pleasant smile. In deference to the cooler weather, she was wearing a long, light blue scarf which, coincidentally or not, hid her naughty bits much of the time. However, as she walked over, she managed to make it look sexy and she was as drop-dead gorgeous as my mate.

“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique.” She paused as her eyes lit up with recognition. “Mark Wells, isn’t it? Does this mean that Trixie is back in town? Are you looking for something for your wife?”

I smiled. “Right name but wrong stallion. You know those quadrupedal ponies that have been visiting lately?”

She tilted her head and gave me a cute frown. “Yes, I do indeed.”

“Well, I asked Twilight if it was possible to get the portal to change us to match the locals. She could and here I am.”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Hmm… While that does sound like something Twilight would do, it also sounds a lot like one of Trixie’s tall tales. What proof have you?”

I grinned. “Easy – I brought my herdmate with me. I think you’ll know her.” I opened the door and gave a nod to my Rarity and then stood aside.

My mate strode confidently into the boutique and said, “Hello, darling. So pleased to meet you.”

Anthro Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh my! It’s almost like looking in a mirror. To what do I owe the pleasure of this unusual meeting?”

“A little proposal. I have found my Muse lacking lately and I seek inspiration in a new body form. First, though, I need to get a fuller understanding of it and who better to ask?”

“Heavens! That’s a marvelous idea, and I imagine the reverse might be true too.” Her lips pursed and she looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “I do wonder what it would be like to walk on all fours, and now you have me curious about your fashions, especially after seeing your exquisite sunhat. Exactly the right shade of yellow for your natural coloration. Canary, I believe?”

My Rarity smiled. “Precisely.”

Anthro Rarity shook her head. “But that’s food for thought later. Did you come here with anything specific in mind?”

“Yes, actually. Tell me – have you ever considered designing intimate apparel for Princess Celestia?”

Anthro Rarity blushed a little. “If you are just like me, you would know it’s a guilty pleasure. Not that I could ever dare to show it to the Princess, even if I ventured to make them.”

My mate smiled slyly. “How would you like to make those dreams come true?”

“You’re not just teasing me, darling?”

“I would never make promises I couldn’t keep, although it does require the assistance of my lovely stallion’s special trick. Oh, and for the record, he’s not a changeling.”

Anthro Rarity frowned. “What do you mean by—”

I took the cue to transform into Marklestia – full-maned version. The unicorn’s eyes widened and jaw dropped as I gracefully stepped up to her and said, “Would you do this princess the honor of designing a new range of intimate apparel to suit my royal personage?”

The fashionista stared at me in stunned silence for a long moment. Then, without taking her eyes off me for an instant, she said, “Rarity?”

“Yes, Rarity?” answered my herdmate as she took off her hat. That was a sure sign that the designing was about to get serious.

Anthro Rarity likewise removed her scarf and took a moment to stretch and crack her knuckles, which I found very distracting. “You have my undivided attention. I hope you’re prepared for a late night.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, darling.”

The next few hours were spent measuring and brainstorming. I was somewhat amused by how quickly Anthro Rarity got into the spirit of bossing me around. “Raise that arm.” “Hold the fabric here – no, with your magic, not your hands.” “Twist your torso.” “Walk gracefully, not like a hoofball player on her way to a buffet.” Both Rarities kept me hopping with orders. While this wasn’t my first time as a live ponyquin, it was the most intense because of two designers giving directions. I didn’t mind the attention, though. More than a few of my feminine sensibilities were flattered at being the focus of their design talent.

It was interesting to watch their varied techniques for assembling apparel. Anthro Rarity was very nimble-fingered while my herdmate barely used her hands to do more than hold things. However, her horn-work far outmatched that of her counterpart. I, of course, was somewhere in between, although I had grown more adept with my levitation lately due to frequent practice. That was thanks to the diligence of my wife who insisted that I work on it for at least as long as she pursued her magic studies. I believe we egged each other on a lot, not wishing to be outdone.

After yet another ensemble had been deemed complete, my Rarity surprised me with a long and sensuous kiss, which I happily returned. I do like making my marefriend happy, and I knew this fashion adventure was doing exactly that.

Right when it was starting to get steamy, I heard from my left. “Mark, darling, I need to stop by Spools and Shovels for… **gasp**!”

I broke the kiss to see the other Rarity wearing her yellow sunhat, her mouth open in shock. My eyes must have gone as wide as hers. “Rarity?”

My Rarity stomped up as I retreated a couple of steps. Now I could see Anthro Rarity smirking with the unabashed expression of a cat who had eaten the canary right under the nose of the bird’s owner.

My Rarity stopped next to the mare, glaring at me. “Do… you… mind? Do I have to put a collar on you to get you to behave?”

The other Rarity looked upward and raised her pointing finger in the air. “IDEEEEEAAAAA!”

I stammered out, “Why are you angry at me? She’s the one who started it! If anything, you should be mad at her for kissing me!”

My Rarity frowned and tilted her head. “Now why should I be angry, darling?” She transferred the hat over to the other mare. “After all, she is your herdmate.”

I gawked for a few seconds as the mares held onto each other to keep from falling over in their laughter. Now that I was paying attention, I could see that the Rarity that kissed me did not have the balance, coordination, and grace that the other mare possessed. I’d been had.

Anthro Rarity trotted away, grabbing a clutch purse from a work table. “Back in a few minutes, dears. Do try to keep out of trouble.” With a flirtatious wave of her tail, she practically sashayed out the front door.

The remaining fashionista walked up to me, her arms stretched out a bit to her sides to help keep her balance. Her smile beamed and her eyes sparkled. “Now that wasn’t so terrible, was it?” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Now where were we?”

I clasped my hands around her waist. She certainly felt nice in this form. Her breasts pressing into me made everything even better. My leering smile made Rarity smile wider, then she shrank back slightly when I didn’t say anything or move to kiss her.

I said, “Well, before we were so rudely interrupted, I believe I was about to show you how ticklish this anthro form can be.”

She gasped and tried to pull out of my embrace to no avail. If she thought she had been laughing hard at my expense before, she had not seen anything yet.

With my experience at anthro-form tickle fights, Rarity didn’t stand a chance.

Eventually, I had to drag away my herdmate as we both needed to get some sleep. I assured our hostess that I would still be available for at least some of tomorrow before we headed back to Twilight’s castle. This time, Rarity was clad in a warm cloak given to her by her double. We bumped into the local Twilight who was surprised to see us, so we had to explain ourselves. I made a strenuous effort to focus my attention solely on the princess’ eyes. Then Rarity gave me a mischievous look before turning back to the alicorn.

“Twilight, darling, would you mind terribly if Mark and I stay the night here?”

The purple anthro mare looked back and forth between us and smirked. “Third guestroom on the left. Try not to wake Spike. Have a good night.”

Twilight then headed back to her study, clutching her mug of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. It seemed none of us were likely to get to sleep anytime soon.

While I did spend a couple of hours after breakfast with the fashionista twins, I had obligations to others in my home dimension. I was assured that they both had plenty of work ahead of them that didn’t require my presence, so I headed back through the portal. Amazingly, Rarity turned up in time for dinner that evening with me, Trixie, and our friends. After verifying that she was my herdmate and not the anthro version trying to prank me again, I gave her a kiss and inquired about their progress.

“Oh, we’re far from finished, darling. Your anthro form has been extremely inspiring and our collaboration has been most fruitful. Nevertheless, if we’re going to have a fashion show for our bipedal acquaintances next weekend, we will focus on a selection of the finest of the creations. We will need your cooperation for the final fittings next Saturday morning in order to have a post-dinner show ready.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do I get a say in this at all? I might have plans for next weekend already.”

Rarity tittered. “Mark, dear, are you really going to try to tell me that you aren’t champing at the bit to strut down the catwalk again, this time with the novelty of a new style of fashion and on two legs?”

I shook my head with chagrin. “I’ve gotten too predictable, haven’t I?”

My wife paused lifting her spoon to say, “Trixie penciled it into her husband’s diary the moment she heard where you had gone.” She resumed slurping her spicy tomato soup.

Yep, entirely too easy to predict. I might have to have a chat with Discord and figure out a surprise for next time.

“So,” I said, “Who wants to come? I’m not sure if you’ll appreciate fashions designed for anthros.”

Twilight was the first to confirm that she would be there, and even Rainbow Dash said she would try to make it.

When I expressed my surprise, Fluttershy said, “Umm… are you forgetting that we’ve all been to Sunset Shimmer’s world several times?”

I remembered then when all of us went on a clothes shopping expedition. Of course, their choices were widely different such as Rainbow’s athletic gear versus Applejack’s jeans and shirt or Pinkie’s party frock. The fact that they were unable to wear them anywhere but in that world hadn’t deterred them at all.

“They’re not going to be those kinds of fashions,” I pointed out.

Everyone laughed.

“We know, dude,” Rainbow said with a smirk. “We know.”

Okay, I blushed.

We had quite a crowd for the first-ever cross-dimension fashion show. Anthro Rarity had convinced all her friends to attend and it was a bit startling to see two of everybody in the audience except Penny and Trixie. I was kind of glad that my wife wasn’t paired with her twin because it would have meant that Anthro Mark would have been in town. Considering what I was going to model this evening, that could have been awkward in spite of the fact that I’d be in Marklestia form. As for my primary bodyguard, it was impossible to keep Penny away once she found out where I’d be sneaking away to on Saturday and Sunday.

Anthro Rarity let mine take the lead with running the production due to knowing how we worked together for these events. I was particularly eager to strut my stuff as this was going to be quite a departure from the previous fashion shows. It was interesting to see the differences between what the Raritys had created and the human equivalents from my world of origin. Whereas items of this nature were designed to skillfully reveal on a human, for habitual nudists such as these anthro ponies, the art was in how the apparel concealed and drew the eyes.

We started off on the tame side with a slinky black dress that hugged all my curves and split at the hips to reveal my cutie mark. For the anthro guests who had not seen my Marklestia form as yet, it was quite the jaw-dropping moment when I pushed through the curtain to slink sexily down the catwalk. From that point, the amount of material in the creations gradually got less and less. I varied my mane and tail length to suit the outfit, and for the final (and favorite!) lingerie design, I kept them short so the focus was entirely on the lacy blue creation with its accompanying stockings and see-through robe.

The applause was most gratifying, and so was the contented smile on my herdmate’s face. As for Anthro Rarity – I could almost see her counting the bits already. I also overheard her strategizing with both Twilights about bringing the new fashion to the attention of their monarch. Belatedly, I realized my world’s Twilight was waving around a speak-and-see crystal. Cool. I needed to get a copy of that.

I ended up taking home a couple of anthro Rarity’s mannequins as my “modeling fee”. After all, I might not be ever able to wear any of those designs back in my world, but I sure as hell wanted to put some of them on display in my growing collection!

A squad of griffons in Griffonstone Guard armor marched through the doors of the throne room. As they proceeded down the carpeted approach to the dais, individuals peeled off to take up positions beside the walkway. When the last of the griffons had placed himself near the thrones, they simultaneously slammed the butt of their spears onto the marble floor and gave an eagle scream.

The guard closest to Trixie, Twilight, and me then bellowed, “Announcing Her Royal Highness, Princess Gilda, Supreme Ruler of Griffonstone.”

The aforementioned royal cat-bird made an appearance in the doorway, bedecked in a variety of regal accouterments. She wore a purple cape ringed in white fur, a platinum crown that was a bit askew, and rather snazzy gold talon sheaths on right claws. The air of royalty was somewhat muted by the way she dragged a jeweled scepter behind her with all the enthusiasm of a high-schooler on her way to final exams. She stalked down the carpet followed two paces behind by Greta, her personal assistant. Gilda stopped at the base of the steps and inclined her head slightly in deference to us. While she was a princess too, her dominion was a protectorate of Equestria thus making us Triarchs her superiors.

“Welcome, Princess Gilda,” Trixie said regally. “It pleases us to have you visit Canterlot once more.”

Gilda replied, “Thank you, Your Highness. It has been too long since I enjoyed your hospitality.”

I noticed that the griffoness was struggling to keep a serious expression and I smirked. “How long did you practice that impressive entrance?”

Gilda grimaced and rolled her eyes. “It took those birdbrains a week to get it right.” She turned around and squawked, “Dismissed! Go get some lunch!”

The soldiers’ exit was far less polished but a whole lot more enthusiastic. When the throne room was cleared but for our advisors and one personal guard for each of us, the doors were closed for private talks.

“So, how’s ruling a nation of griffons coming along, Gilda?” I asked as Trixie, Twilight, and I stepped down from the dais.

We all moved off to the side where a table was set up with refreshments and comfortable chairs were provided.

The Griffonstone Princess shrugged and replied, “About as well as you can expect for a bunch of argumentative, greedy birds.”

“So – progress then?”

Gilda chuckled. “Yeah. Sometimes it’s like bashing my beak repeatedly into a brick wall but we’re beginning to see the fruits of our labor. One of these days I’m going to get even with you for sticking me with this headache though.”

“As I recall, that was self-inflicted. You were the one who came to us with the proposal of Griffonstone joining the Equestrian Commonwealth. Can’t blame us that your citizens made you a princess to put you on our level.”

“Yeah, and dumped all their troubles onto my wings,” she griped. She sampled a smoked salmon sushi roll and her eyebrows rose. “Although I might just forgive you a little bit if you supply me with more of these.”

Twilight said, “We were surprised when we got word that you were going to pay us a visit so close to Hearth’s Warming. To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Gilda replied, “A bit of this and a bit of that. Greta here wanted to sort out a few supply problems that we’ve been having. I also wanted to get away from court for a while, especially as the Blue Moon Festival is coming up.” She piled up a plate with three of every sushi roll on the table and settled into one of the chairs.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “But isn’t that when you get together with your family as we do for Hearth’s Warming?”

“Have you met my relatives? Pass! Besides, I preferred spending the time here when I was a student in Equestria years back. A lot more fun than putting up with a bunch of snarky relatives.”

“But… they’re still your family!” Twilight objected.

“Trixie reckons that you should give it a rest, Sparkle,” my wife said. “The Great and Powerful Trixie made the mistake of believing that the Blue Moon Festival would be a good time to perform one of her incredible shows. She barely made it out of the kingdom with the last of her bits.”

Gilda chuckled. “Let me guess – fined for disturbing the peace during the festival?”

“And parking fees for her wagon among other usurious charges,” Trixie confirmed. “Griffons manage to tolerate each other for one day by taking out their frustrations on anypony else.”

“Trixie’s got it right,” Gilda confirmed between chews, spraying a little bit of rice at the same time. “There ain’t much love lost between me and my family. Umm… Gabby excepted, perhaps. Too damn cheerful though. Anyway, rather than forcing an uncomfortable reunion, I decided it’d be more fun spending the time here. Besides, I reckon Gallus could do with the company.”

Twilight frowned. “Wouldn’t he be going back to Griffonstone to be with his family for Blue Moon?”

“Nah. He hasn’t got a family. Parents got the feather flu a couple of years back and didn’t survive.”

“What?! How about Grandpa Gruff?”

“That’s his name, not his relationship. Gruff is Gallus’s reluctant guardian. Why do you think I chose Gallus to come to your school? He’s way better off here.”

I said, “So, he has no family at all? That really sucks. Hmm…” I carefully weighed the consequences of the idea that popped into my head. After doing so, I decided to trust my gut… and my heart.

I broke into the ongoing conversation that had gone on without me. “Twi – can you arrange to have Gallus meet me sometime before your school closes for Hearth’s Warming?”

The purple mare raised an eyebrow. “I could do that. Did you have something in mind?”

“Something in common, actually.”

As Gallus entered Twilight’s office, he looked about nervously, unsure why he had been summoned here. He immediately spotted me sitting to one side and stiffened in surprise. I had hoped Trixie could be here as well but she had a prior engagement scheduled weeks ago to visit patients at Ponyville Hospital.

As Twilight closed the door with her magic, she said, “Prince Mark Wells would like to have a chat with you, Gallus.”

“M-me?” squeaked the young griffon.

“Relax, Gallus,” I assured him. “It’s nothing bad. I learned recently from Princess Gilda that you are an orphan.”

“Yeah, so?” he replied suspiciously.

“Me too. My parents died in a… uh… carriage accident. Their insurance paid for my upbringing and college education. My older sister was a legal adult and reluctantly took care of me until I was old enough to be independent. Didn’t see her much after that. The one thing that made a big difference during those years is that I had a best friend who shared everything with me.”

Gallus turned away and stared down at his talons. “At least your friend didn’t leave you at Hearth’s Warming,” he mumbled.

“No, he didn’t. In fact, each year, I spent the previous evening and the whole next day at his place. His parents treated me like part of the family.” I didn’t waste time trying to explain that we were celebrating Christmas rather than Hearth’s Warming. My inter-dimensional origins were still secret, much to the frustration of the paparazzi.

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“Headmare Twilight informs me that at least one of the friends that you made here lives in Ponyville. How would you like to skip the Blue Moon Festival and spend the Hearth’s Warming holidays here instead?”

Gallus looked up at me, his eyes widening. “I… I can do that?” Then doubt set in again. “But I can’t stay with Sandbar. His family has no room for guests, even if they wanted to take a griffon in for the holidays.”

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to stay at Sandbar’s place. Tell me something, Gallus – do you see a future for yourself in Griffonstone?”

His expression turned bitter. “No way!”

“Even with Princess Gilda turning the society on its collective ear and rebuilding the kingdom?”

“Ask me again when the common griffon changes their attitude. I’ve learned more about friendship in the months I’ve spent here than they’ll ever learn. I don’t want any part of that place.”

I smiled. “Princess Gilda thought you’d say that. I have a proposal for you, young cock. How would you feel if I took you in as Ward of the State?”

Gallus frowned. “What would that mean?”

“Legal mumbo-jumbo aside, Trixie and I would basically be adopting you. Twilight has agreed to give you your own room here in her palace. I’d take personal responsibility for your upbringing and Trixie and I would be here for you anytime you need us. In other words, you would be in our family.” I chuckled. “And not the kind that barely tolerates each other for one day of the year either.”

The griffon gaped at me, probably finding it hard to believe what I had just told him. “Why? Why would you do that?”

I gave him a reassuring smile. “Because everyone, whether they are a pony, a griffon, or any other being, deserves friends and family. Phil and his parents were mine while I grew up – I’m passing on the favor to the next generation. So – how about it?”

His eyes lit up and a grin slowly spread across his face… to the extent it can on a griffon with a fixed beak. “That sounds amazing. So, what do I have to do?”

I held up my forelegs invitingly. “How about sealing the deal with a hug?”

He stared for a moment before rushing into my embrace. “Thank you! Thank you!” I saw tears squeezing past his eyelids and I let him hold onto me long enough for him to regain his composure. He swiped a foreleg across his eyes in a furtive attempt to hide the fact that he had been crying which both Twilight and I ignored. “What happens now?”

“Well, technically, you and I need to sign the paperwork that Princess Gilda and Princess Twilight arranged to formalize your adoption, but that can wait a bit. Let’s make sure that you’re going to be happy with the arrangement first. Want to see your new room?”

“Yeah!”

Twilight said, “Spike tells me the castle has it ready for you.”

Gallus blinked at that statement. “The castle has it ready?”

The alicorn smiled. “Friendship Castle has an uncanny ability to mold itself for the benefit of its occupants. It adapts to the needs of those who reside in it. You should see my husband’s study! Anyway, when it configured a room to suit a young griffon, we were pretty sure that you would agree to Mark’s proposal.”

As we made our way to the residential area, Gallus hesitantly said, “Umm… if you’re adopting me, Your Highness, what am I supposed to call you now?”

I chuckled. “Well, for starters, unless it’s a very formal occasion, drop the ‘Your Highness’. In fact, just call me Mark. A word of advice though – call my wife ‘Princess Trixie’ unless she tells you otherwise.”

“Gotcha.”

“Here we are,” Twilight announced, stopping outside a door.

Gallus looked around at the row of identical doorways. “How do you tell them apart?”

I laughed. “You count the doors from the entry point. Don’t worry – we’ll stick a sign on yours so you don’t mix it up. Go on in.”

Gallus opened the door, stepped inside, and stopped. We watched as he gazed in awe at the spacious room. It was lightly furnished with a bed, chest of drawers, a desk, and a chair. It had several shelves for books and other personal items. Unlike other guest rooms, this one was both double-sized and twice the height. The rooms on the level above this had apparently been repurposed by the castle. A long cylinder stretched from wall to wall on one side and a wide platform bordered the opposite wall. Both were halfway between the ceiling and floor to serve as ideal perches for the young griffon. More shelves lined these upper areas, some already containing volumes likely absconded from the library. Most importantly, the room had a small balcony that a winged creature could use as a means of coming and going. The room also had plenty of space to fit an extra bed if Gallus had a friend here for a sleepover.

Twilight said, “It’s a bit sparse on decoration yet, but I think we can leave that to you to fix up to suit your tastes.”

“This is so cool! When do I move in?”

“As soon as you want, although I suggest that you do the big move the same day as the rest of the students leave for the holidays. You can bring everything from your dorm room then.”

“Can I bring my friends around to see it?”

“Of course,” Twilight replied.

“Awesome!” He bounded over to the balcony and was gone in a flash of tail feathers.

Twilight blinked. “Well, that was a bit abrupt.”

I chuckled. “He’s still a griffon, Sparkles. We’re both going to have to get used to that.”

She smiled in return. “True. It will be a learning experience for both of us.”

“Thanks again for giving Gallus a place to stay.”

The alicorn waved it off. “How could I not? This is everything that I preach. It’s you who should be thanked for doing this for him.”

I shook my head. “Like I told Gallus, I’m paying a debt forward. I could have had a terrible childhood growing up without my dad and mom but Phil and his parents made a new family for me. I knew this was the right thing to do the moment that Gilda told us about Gallus’ situation.”

“Think he’ll ever call you ‘Dad’?”

I blinked, a little stunned. That possibility hadn’t really occurred to me. I gave Twilight a lopsided smile. “Stranger things have happened to me, Twi.”

“That, Mark Wells, is the understatement of the century.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Mark did a lot of firsts this chapter. Never a dull moment for him.

Art by Foxenawolf and
FairDahlia – https://www.deviantart.com/fairdahlia

Chapter 79 - Hearth's Warming

Dear Mark Wells,

The so-called Lord of Chaos may have been important in the distant past, but this is today. Frankly, I’d never heard of him. Maybe he made a big splash in Ponyville when he returned to a world that left him behind a millennium ago, but that didn’t make a saltlick of difference to everypony’s lives out in Baltimare. He’s got an exaggerated sense of self-importance, throws fits like a teenage mare, and obviously doesn’t care about any being but himself. When I protested that he was destroying all the hard work I put in to make the Spell-venger hunt a success, he had the gall to tell me to my face that I need to “lighten up”.

This Discord is a menace and needs to be locked away again wherever…

Maybe I should back up a bit.

I suppose it was inevitable. Twilight and the rest of her friends got a call from the Map Table to attend to a Friendship Problem mere days before the end of the school term and Fall Wrap-up. The alicorn came to me during the lunch break in Day Court to explain the situation.

I sighed. “So, you want Starlight to take over as headmare of the school while you’re away?”

She gave me a smile of embarrassment. “Yes, I know I promised not to take her until the next term, but I really need her right now. With all our friends going too, there’s no pony left to fill in for me.”

I knew there was no getting around this, so I nodded. “Alright, if Starlight is okay with this, you can have her.”

We both turned to the pink mare who looked slightly nervous. “I don’t know. I was going to go over the procedures during winter break to make sure I was ready to oversee the school. I have nothing prepared for filling in at the last minute.”

“Don’t worry,” Twilight reassured her as she pulled out a huge scroll. “I’ve planned for this possibility and everything that you need to know is listed here. Spike has already finished the school meal schedule for the remainder of the term. Also, Cozy Glow has been immensely helpful to me and will be able to assist you with everything else. You can trust her as your right hoof mare.”

Starlight smiled. “You’re right. I definitely should be able to handle this for at least a few days until you get back.”

I said, “Good luck, Starlight. Diadem – you’re on full-time advisor duty until Starlight returns.”

“I am prepared, Your Highness,” the changeling princess replied in a melodious contralto. Those singing lessons were really paying off, not to mention her dedication to practicing at all times.

Although I expected that Starlight might have a bit of difficulty due to having to take over with no notice, I felt sure that she would cope. It wasn’t unexpected then that I didn’t hear of anything from her. What came as a surprise were some comments from Gallus.

As our new relationship was still in the stage where we were learning each other’s boundaries, I was making the effort to at least have a chat with him after school each day. Thanks go to Twilight for insisting a portal remain open between the two castles at all times. That changed the commute from an hour-long flight or even longer train trip into a five-minute trot. It also made sense for our ever-busier royal lifestyle.

I didn’t try to force things. If all Gallus wanted to do was tell me that he had no problems and could he go play with his friends now, then that was fine. I had made a point with him earlier that weekends were family time and I expected a little more interaction then. However, during the week, he could carry on much as he had since starting school if nothing called for a change. This afternoon turned out to be different.

“Discord is driving us nuts!”

I blinked in surprise. “Discord? What’s he been doing? I’ve heard nothing from Starlight.”

“Mucking with gravity for a start. Yona didn’t like floating around the ceiling.”

“Was anyone hurt?”

Gallus shook his head. “Nope, just a little frightened. The other pranks didn’t help though.”

I frowned. “I wonder why he’s doing that? While the pranks are pretty standard, he normally has a reason for them.”

“Ocellus says she overheard something about how he wanted to be acting headmare while Twilight was away.”

“Odd. He should have known that Starlight already was lined up for the job when he…” I trailed off when it suddenly occurred to me that I’d never seen him at the school or talked about it with him. I’d told him that Cozy Glow got the vice-headmare spot, but nothing about Twilight’s plans for Starlight. “Uh, oh.”

Gallus looked at me keenly. “What do you mean by that? Are my friends in trouble?”

“If by that, do I reckon that they’ll get hurt? No, Discord won’t do that. They might be in for a lot more chaos though.”

“Why? What did we do?”

“Nothing. And that’s the problem. Discord’s ego won’t allow him to be ignored, but I can’t recall any of us formally inviting him to participate in the school in any manner. I told him that I thought he’d make a great guest lecturer, but I never followed up by arranging for him to do so. I’d have to check with Twilight, but I think our resident draconequus is jealous.”

The young griffon looked uneasy. “What are you going to do about it?”

I sighed. “The hardest thing I can do – butt out.”

Confusion reigned on Gallus’ face. “What?”

“I would only be seen as interfering, and this is Starlight’s responsibility. Discord is her friend too, so they need to sort this out between themselves. I’m afraid she’s in for a bit of trial by fire.”

“What about the rest of us?”

“If things get too out of hoof, let me know, but try to put up with Discord’s antics for the time being. While his pranks are annoying sometimes, they aren’t really dangerous.”

“That’s all you can offer?”

I gave the griffon a reassuring wing hug. “In the end, I am just a pony while he’s the Spirit of Chaos. Battles with him are won by the mind and the heart, not by force. Once you understand where his motivations are, work with those. In the end, Discord just wants to be included.”

“Yeah, lay a heavy trip on us, Mark,” he replied drolly.

I chuckled. “Just wait until it’s up to you to save Equestria a couple of times before complaining.”

In the end, that’s pretty much how things played out. I hear the Spell-venger Hunt had been nothing short of wild until Starlight sorted out Discord’s problem. The angriest pony at the school had to be Cozy Glow. She was livid about how the draconequus had ruined her arrangements for hunting the magical artifacts which had all been thrown into chaos, literally! I received a thirteen-page letter on the matter. Because the Spell-venger hunt was Cozy’s responsibility, she took the Lord of Chaos’ antics personally. It seems that when Discord wasn’t “doing everything in his power to make me look bad,” he was “ignoring me completely.” I believe she was even more outraged than Twilight and her companions who had discovered that they had been tricked into a phony Friendship Quest by the Lord of Chaos. I advised Cozy to take a chill pill and to try to see the matter from Discord’s perspective.

Gallus admitted later that the scavenger hunt (I hated the silly name Twilight had given it) had actually been more fun with the flying paintings, animated armor, and so forth making the somewhat boring event about ancient history a lot more interesting… and exciting. Trying to remember facts you had read a week ago while dodging at a full sprint proved to be exhilarating for the students. When every creature realized what was happening, they played along with the pranks instead of fearing them. Starlight told me that she asked Discord to work with her to do similar events in the future. I knew that mare was smart. I’m really going to miss my advisor.

As I had promised Chrysalis, she was now allowed weekly supervised visits around Canterlot. While the first had been only as far as the castle grounds, the next was as a result of a visit from Twilight Sparkle’s mother. Twilight Velvet took every opportunity to visit her grandfoal and, upon learning that Regis was doing the same to spend time with Chrysalis, suggested the two grandparents spend an afternoon together. They could bond over their grandson that way.

Naturally, I was leery of the idea. Nevertheless, Velvet wore me down. I could see where Twi got her streak of stubbornness. It was Velvet’s idea that they take Regis to the nearest playground and give him the opportunity to interact with other foals. While it was going to be difficult to provide security, I reckoned that it sounded like a good idea.

After Twilight was informed and her mother calmed her down, I told Chrysalis about the playdate and warned her about trying to manipulate Velvet. Of course, she treated my words with disdain but at least she acknowledged them.

As Velvet was about to leave, I offered to come and help keep an eye on the changeling queen. She politely but firmly told me that while she could not prevent me from going where I wanted in the city, I was to have no part in their conversation. This was going to be between just Chrysalis and her. Tirek I could defeat but not a determined grandmother.

I turned up at the playground with Crimson Boulder to inform Chrysalis that her allotted time was done. I found her deep in discussion with Velvet while Regis played on the jungle gym with a pegasus filly. However, all the other parents were keeping the rest of the foals far away from the infamous changeling queen. Several guards were stationed nearby but they all seemed at ease with the situation, so that boded well.

The filly’s mother was lying on the grass nearby and watching with a contented smile on her face. Evidently, she was not concerned about Chrysalis or the hybrid foal. I wondered what differentiated her from all the other adult ponies. Perhaps her filly could be regular playmates with Twilight’s son? They seemed to be of similar age and obviously enjoyed each other’s company. She and Regis were having a great time zooming in and out of the bars and rings, playing a high-speed game of tag.

As I approached the grandparents who were seated on a nearby park bench, I overheard their discussion.

Chrysalis said, “Velvet, I do not understand why you insist my grandnymph play with the rabble like this. It is unbecoming of their station.”

The unicorn gave the queen a pointed stare. “Chrysalis. Dear. You are letting your prejudice cloud your judgment. Again. What do all of the alicorns excluding Flurry Heart have in common?”

The changeling gave the question some thought before replying, “They were born as simple ponies then ascended.”

“Precisely. Now consider Mark Wells. While he is not a true alicorn, it could be argued that Harmony arranged for his alternate form to signify his right to rule. The service he has done for Equestria since then only makes my point stronger.”

Chrysalis frowned. “So, at its heart, you are saying that Equestria is a meritocracy?”

Twilight Velvet beamed. “Exactly! Now, how much faith do you have in your grandfoal to rise to his potential?”

After a brief pause, the queen turned to face the jungle gym. “Regis! Feel free to debase yourself with the inconsequential commoners. It will do you no permanent damage.”

The foal called back, “OK, grandma!”

I spoke up. “Good afternoon, ladies. I’m afraid that it’s time for Regis to rejoin his mother.” Unspoken was the implication that it was also time for Chrysalis to return to her cell.

Velvet got up and gave Chrysalis a smile. “It has been most elucidating chatting with you, dear. We must do so again soon.”

The smile that the changeling queen gave in return was a lot smugger. “I look forward to it, Twilight Velvet.”

Velvet called to Regis to come along and the foal reluctantly said goodbye to his new friend. As they walked off towards the castle, four of the Royal Guards accompanied them but at a discrete distance. The remainder closed in around us. Chrysalis sighed and rose from the bench. She kept her head held regally as we began to follow the others, Crimson two paces behind us.

“Did you enjoy your chat with Twilight Velvet?” I asked curiously.

“It was… illuminating,” she conceded. “As I expected, Twilight Sparkle’s mother is not easily intimidated. She is a formidable mare.”

“Agreed. Do you know who the mother of Regis’ playmate is?”

“Yes. She is a former Royal Guard who retired to have a family.”

I raised an eyebrow and smirked. “She assessed your threat level and determined that you weren’t one, didn’t she? That’s why she was happy to let her filly play with Regis.”

Chrysalis’ lip curled in a small snarl. “You are correct.”

I chuckled, tickled that Chrysalis was irked by the fact that she was considered harmless. “Don’t stress over it too much – you obviously had the rest of the parents properly cowed.”

Her expression resumed its normal supercilious look. “Yes. Yes, I did.” Her smile fell and she gave me a sharp look. “Stop trying to manipulate my emotions, stallion.”

I snorted, unable to hold in my amusement. “But it’s so easy… and so much fun!”

For some reason, I was not able to get the changeling queen to converse with me further on our way back to the castle dungeons.

Fall Wrap-up came and along with it the first scheduled dumping of snow. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to how the weather is almost perfectly controlled here in Equestria, but it’s convenient to know in advance what to prepare for with certainty. The School of Friendship closed for the Hearth’s Warming holiday break and Gallus officially moved into his room in Twilight’s castle. Pinkie Pie threw him a “Welcome To Your New Home” party which he celebrated with all his school chums. Some of them had delayed returning to their own homes just for this occasion. My ward certainly had made some very good friends in the time he’d been here. Silverstream, Ocellus, and Yona had to leave the next day to join their own families’ celebrations but they promised to come back a few days before the break ended. Sandbar lived locally, of course, but Smolder reckoned she would rather spend the holidays with Gallus. To no one’s surprise, Friendship Castle prepared a guest room suitable for the young dragon next to Gallus’ quarters.

Although schools were closed all over Equestria for the holidays, work went on for the Triarchy. I couldn’t be in Ponyville any more than normal but I was confident that Gallus and his friends could keep themselves amused for a few days until Hearth’s Warming Eve. He managed to surprise me though.

“Can I visit you at your court?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to do that? It’s usually quite boring for youngsters.”

“I just want to see where you work and what you do when you’re not goofing around as a mare in Ponyville.”

I laughed. “Okay, I’ll pay that. How about this? I’m scheduled to do the afternoon session of Day Court tomorrow. If you can be ready before noon, I can arrange for somepony to escort you from Ponyville to Canterlot and you can have lunch with Trixie and me. Then you can accompany me to the throne room and watch the proceedings until you get bored. After that, you can be shown around the castle. I planned to do that anyway on Hearth’s Warming Eve but it won’t hurt to bring that forward. I just won’t be able to join you until Day Court ends.”

“Sounds cool. Can Smolder and Sandbar come too?”

“Sure! Your friends are welcome to join you.”

“Awesome! Seeya at dinner!”

And he was off like a shot to rejoin his friends. God, he reminded me of myself when I was his age.

Note to self – when your ward asks if he can bring friends, don’t give him carte blanche. His friends brought their friends and the group grew considerably. Steady Flight did not appreciate playing tour guide to a dozen excitable youngsters and the nobles at Day Court don’t appreciate the snickering and comments from a bunch of foals. Aside from lunch, I didn’t have to deal with any of them because they went home before Day Court ended. I think I owe Steady a drink or three.

Speaking of lunchtime though, it was a barrel of laughs because the chef had to cater to their whims when they were told they could order anything they wanted. I might have to try some of the things they dreamed up!

Ever hear those stories about mothers-in-law? That’s all they were to me... just stories. I hadn’t even seen my in-laws since the wedding. So it was quite a shock when Spectacle turned up at the castle and invited herself to our Hearth’s Warming celebrations. She had visited briefly when news of the birth of Gemini reached her but we hadn’t seen nor heard from her since then. I suppose she wasn’t under any obligation to be part of our lives, but her stand-offish attitude toward her grandfoal did seem unusual for a pony. That was until I learned the reason why.

Trixie had always been uncomfortable in the presence of her mother, at least in private situations. As part of the wedding crowd, Trixie could ignore her. Because Spectacle would be our guest for a few days, that option was not available to Trixie right now. My wife was in a particularly bad mood all day and once we were in bed that evening, I wrapped my forelegs around her. “OK, dear – what is it exactly between you and Spectacle?”

Trixie shifted her weight as if to get out of bed rather than answer but I pulled her back into my barrel. She looked over her shoulder to glare at me for a long moment, then she lowered her eyes and sighed. “Trixie’s mother hates foals.”

I blinked in confusion for a long moment. “Why? And how does that pertain to us?”

This time, there was a much longer pause. Trixie nuzzled the mane of our sleeping foal. She rarely ever brought Gemini to bed with us, which showed me exactly how protective their mother was feeling.

My wife said, “Because Trixie was the foal who ruined her mother’s career.”

I took a few seconds to process this. “I’m not sure I can believe that.”

This time, Trixie scooted back into me and I gripped her tightly for a moment to reassure her.

“Trixie nev… I never met my grandparents on her side of the family and doubt I ever will. Vanquished Will could tame any beast into some level of compliance, excluding thinking creatures like dragons and anything larger than a full-grown manticore. His wife, Spring Bouquet, had a natural affinity for birds and woodland creatures similar to Fluttershy’s, though she could not directly converse with them. Between the two, they supplied all of Equestria with both exotic and mundane animals for circuses, zoos, and research that was safe for both the scientist and animal being tested. My mother inherited natural talent from both of them and worked hard to make up the difference. As the only child, she was the perfect pony to carry on the family legacy.”

I had a hunch what happened next. “And that’s when she met your father.”

Trixie nodded. “Spectacle delivered a well-trained juvenile manticore to Jackpot for use in his stage act. They fell in love and my father asked her to join him as his stage assistant and animal handler for the stops on his Spring Tour. My mother accepted. When summer rolled in, she was pregnant and had fallen in love with life on the stage. Spectacle set the manticore free, doubtless to symbolize her own freedom from the life her parents had chosen for her.”

“When I was born the following spring, my mother had been living on the road with Jackpot for a year. With no place to call home, she didn’t have a support network of friends to help with childcare. Because the stage was no place for a foal, Spectacle couldn’t take part in the shows or train dangerous animals.”

When Trixie stopped, I nuzzled her neck, letting her know I was here for her.

“Eventually, my parents bought a run-down house at a military base outside of Neighagra Falls. The community of ponies waiting for their spouses to return from deployment had nothing in common with Spectacle and shunned her. The foals took their cue from their parents and no pony would be my friend at school or talk to my mother. I would live for the days when my father would return home. He’d give me my own private show, dazzling his number one fan with the newest tricks he’d come up with. Meanwhile, Spectacle was stuck being the disciplinarian at home. She would tell me ‘no’ all the time while my father never did. And the fights!”

Gemini stirred at Trixie’s raised voice. She murmured softly to our foal until they settled down again.

Trixie continued. “Both of my parents were not very mature ponies. They settled every disagreement with shouting matches sometimes followed by lovemaking while I tried to hide from it all. A lack of bits and Jackpot’s marefriends in every town didn’t help matters. When I was eight, my father left for the last time. Spectacle threw me on her back and we moved straight to Canterlot. She worked as a maid for three years until I could test for Celestia’s school. I got in but… I’m a terrible student. Soon after Twilight Sparkle blew up the school, I dropped out to learn how to be a show pony. Now my mother felt as betrayed by me as she had been by Jackpot. Rather than yelling back, I just left. Spectacle has apologized since then, but the special bond between mother and daughter is gone.”

I took it all in and let my heart do the talking for me. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Know that I’ll always be there for you…” I grinned. “… even if I can’t live forever because I’m only two-thirds alicorn.”

Trixie snorted and playfully bucked me with a rear hoof. “The Great and Wise Trixie knows this already, Dowser – with every fiber of Trixie’s being.” She leaned back to give me a long kiss. “And I will always love you too.”

As Trixie turned to face Gemini, I felt accomplished. I knew my wife was feeling better by how she switched to third person again... even if for just a little while.

After a long silence, I said, “You're not like your mother – you love foals. I’ve never seen you so alive as when you were performing for the colts and fillies at the resort in the Crystal Empire.”

“Of course I love foals.” My wife wrapped her body a bit tighter around Gemini and she got a faraway look. “Seeing their smiling faces… every one of them reminds me of how happy I felt every time my father came home.”

I was learning the hard way what it meant to be a foster parent of a young teen. When I told Gallus that we would be attending the traditional Hearth’s Warming Eve play, naturally he wanted Smolder to come along too. That was not unexpected as the young dragoness had stayed in Ponyville basically because of the griffon. Then Sandbar had been invited too. Again, that was reasonable because he’s one of Gallus’ best friends, but I honestly thought the colt would be spending that time with his family. Apparently, I was wrong. His parents were delighted that he had such a good friend. Maybe Sandbar had been too much of a loner before? I’d have to ask Twilight at some time to find out if she knew his background.

Nevertheless, it wasn’t a real problem bringing two guests. Then Nyx found out that Gallus had gotten to bring his friends and begged Twilight to let her bring some too. Long story short, we had a full quorum of Cutie Mark Crusaders tagging along. Even though I was made an honorary CMC, I could never live up to the manic energy of Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom. Not to mention how terrifying it was when the four got quiet all at once. Inevitably, when that happened they were staring at something with a glint in their eyes. The kind of glint that said, “what’s the most dangerous way to weaponize that?”

The Diamond Tiara relationship pendulum had apparently swung back to the “friend” side. She came along with the promise of having a chance to mingle with the elite of Canterlot. The young earth pony kept being sidetracked when she spotted nobles and celebrities in the crowd waiting to be seated at the “event of the season to be seen attending.” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon kept gravitating away from our group towards whichever member of the upper crust was on top of their stack of parlor cards. Nyx kept trying to drag everypony away to see something interesting in the castle. Herding cats? Pshaw! Try herding foals!

I was afraid my young, energetic charge would be bored to tears when it was just me, him, and Trixie going to the play. I thought I had dodged an arrow when Gallus had brought so many friends to Canterlot, but now karma was having its revenge. Trixie and Twilight had their hooves full with Gemini and Regis, so it was up to Thorax and me to keep this mob relatively under control. Trixie’s mother washed her hooves of any responsibility. Spike would have helped but he was involved with the production of the play this year and had to be backstage preparing. Our guards just smirked and made a point of surveilling the crowd whenever I tried to get them to lend a hoof with the foals. The message was loud and clear – not their job; not their problem.

I overheard Smolder talking to the jabbering earth pony friends. “Who are you two gushing about now?”

Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses. “That’s Countess Coloratura up on the balcony!”

Diamond Tiara added, “Did you hear that Princess Trixie gave her the real rank of countess after she raised everybeing’s spirits with the concert after the Storm King’s invasion?”

Smolder smiled at Diamond. “Just like she did for Sapphire Shores and Songbird Serenade. Yes, I heard. I see you have a picture card for the pegasus diva as well. She’s close by. Did you want her to sign it?”

‘They’re parlor cards. But… I couldn’t go over to Songbird and just…”

Smolder placed a clawed hand on the earth pony’s shoulder. “You need to think like a dragon. Find a common point of interest and just go up there. Come on.”

The young dragon practically dragged Diamond through the crowd until she got the singer’s attention. “Excuse me, Miss Serenade. Aren’t those opals in your necklace from the Sheltered Valley? It’s just about impossible to get the kirin to part with them.”

The pegasus pop star turned her head to point her muzzle at the three youths. The two-tone manestyle that fell over her face made it impossible to tell exactly where she was looking. “They are indeed. I hope you don’t find them appetizing.”

The dragoness laughed. “Hardly. Opals are an acquired taste. Besides, dragons appreciate the beauty of jewelry even more than they like the taste of jewels. You should see my uncle Shatterhorn’s collection. Maybe not the biggest in the Dragon Lands but he has the largest collection of necklaces and bracelets anywhere.”

From the sound of her voice, I bet the diva’s eyebrows rose. “You don’t say?”

Smolder gave a theatrical little gasp. “Oh, but where are my manners? Let me introduce you to Diamond Tiara of the Rich family in Ponyville and her bestie Silver Spoon.”

Diamond Tiara held out her parlor card. “H.. Hi. Would you mind signing this for me, please?”

The singer held a hoof out to her side and one of her well-suited bodyguards slapped a gold-colored marker into her hoof. “Of course, my dear. Shall I make it out to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

Both fillies gasped. “Oh, yes please!” they chorused.

Despite sidetracks like these, by some miracle, we managed to get everyone to their seats in time for the show to start. While the play was the main feature of the night, this was Canterlot and nothing was ever done in a small way. There were skits, musicians, and comedians who entertained us for the first half of the program, then came intermission. Ever try to arrange snacks and drinks for nine foals, a griffon, a dragoness, a changeling, and four adult ponies? Me neither. Thankfully, Twilight was better prepared than I was and had some castle servants on standby to take orders and get food. Not that Trixie and I had it easy. The alicorn delegated us to watch out for the youngsters who needed to go to the restroom. *sigh*

Despite the tribulations, the evening was quite a success. Everyone enjoyed the event and there were no disasters. A small miracle, if you know the Crusaders. Eventually, we saw all the foals safely back to their respective homes and that just left Gallus and Smolder with us at Twilight’s castle. We were finishing the night with hot chocolate prepared by a very chuffed Spike whose hard work with the play had borne fruit. At least, he couldn’t stop bragging about it. He certainly had more success than when he was trying to help me act!

Gallus had gone into the kitchen to fetch snacks to go with the drinks and he passed them around before taking a plate of sapphire chip cookies to Smolder. He then sat on the sofa next to the dragoness, nibbling on a piece of jerky and watching while Smolder happily munched on her gem-encrusted treats.

We chatted for a while about our favorite parts of the show. Eventually, it was time to send Gallus and Smolder to bed. I made sure that they settled down before I went back to join the others. It was going to be a big day tomorrow and I had no doubt that it would be hectic for all of us.

I returned to snuggle up to my wife and drape a wing around her. “Is it my imagination or does Gallus have a crush on Smolder?”

My wife rolled her eyes. “Truly, Hark Knells, you are the epitome of observation. The crush is mutual. Why do you think Smolder elected to stay with Gallus during the holidays?”

“Because she preferred being with her friend rather than some grumpy dragons?” I offered weakly.

Trixie snorted but didn’t bother saying anything more. That was telling enough.

Great. I’d had a foster son for mere days and I already had to deal with a potential girlfriend, and a dragon at that. Maybe I needed to enroll in the School of Friendship and learn a bit more about how that works.

While Trixie and I had enjoyed celebrating previous Hearth’s Warmings together, I hadn’t realized how much I missed the Christmas gatherings with Phil’s family until this morning. Twilight’s living room was lavishly decorated and it included a huge tree festooned with lights and baubles. Underneath it were presents for everyone, but especially for the new additions to the family. Twilight, Thorax, Trixie, and I watched as Regis and Gemini were going nuts with their gifts from Santa Hooves, but it was the reaction from Gallus that made my heart ache.

The young griffon was on the verge of tears when he saw the presents waiting for him. I knew from the chats that I’d had with him that he had never experienced the like. Life in Griffonstone was often harsh and, for this orphan, especially so. Even after weeks spent boarding at Twilight’s school, he was still not accustomed to the open friendship and joy of Equestrian society. And then he opened his gifts…

The first few were the kind of presents that a typical young male teenager would like, although we tried to adjust our thinking for a griffon rather than a pony. Fortunately, many of his tastes were similar to those of a pegasus and I think we scored with each of them: a genuine Wonderbolts pin, a league-sanctioned hoofball, two fine-toothed feather-combs, and a set of steel talon-extensions for catching fish on the fly. I personally levitated the last one to him. It was a very small box but his air of anticipation was no less as he untied the ribbon holding it closed. He lifted the lid and his eyes widened. His talons closed upon the object within and he pulled out a golden medallion. Gallus held it up and asked, “This is nice, but what exactly does it mean?”

I replied, “My and Trixie’s cutie marks embossed upon it indicate that this belongs to our royal family. The silhouette of a griffon represents you being part of that family. The medallion is magically attuned to your aura and, if scanned, identifies you in a manner that can’t be forged. It’s your key to Canterlot Castle. With it, you may go anywhere within reason in the castle and its grounds without needing to seek permission or clearance. It’s a symbol of our trust in you as our adopted son.”

Gallus’ beak dropped in shock and he stared at the medallion for a moment as if he could not believe that such a thing was real. Then he rushed over and gave me and Trixie a huge hug.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” the young griffon kept repeating.

“You are most welcome,” Trixie replied. “But please don’t abuse this privilege.”

I added, “As I said, you can go anywhere within reason. There are some places such as the dungeons that are out of bounds to everyone including you for now without special permission. The Royal Guards are under instruction in those cases to politely but firmly deny you entrance.”

“Gotcha, Mark. It’s enough that you trust me this much.” He put the medallion on and posed proudly as I took a photograph.

“Heh! Lookin’ good, Gallus,” Smolder said with a grin.

“She’s right,” I said, turning to the dragoness. “And don’t think we’re going to ignore you, Smolder. While you are staying with us, you’re an honorary member of the family. We have a little something for you too.” Again, this hearkened back to my days with Phil’s family and, despite the fact that Smolder was a dragon, I didn’t think this was so different. However, because I couldn’t think of what Smolder might like, Trixie had agreed to arrange something. Even I didn’t know what it was until the dragoness opened her small box.

Smolder lifted out a card and I saw her lips move silently as she read it. Then her eyes opened wide and a blush bloomed on her face as she stared at the card, stunned.

“What’s it say, Smolder?” Gallus asked, plucking it out of her claws.

“Wait! Don’t—” she started to object, reaching out to grab the card.

Gallus held her back with a wing as he began to read aloud, “This coupon is good for one complete en-sem-ble from Rarity’s Carousel Boutique. With love from Princess Trixie Lulamoon, Prince Mark Wells, and Princess Twilight Sparkle.” He looked up at her. “Jeez, Smolder, what are you going to do with this?”

The dragoness frowned and snatched the coupon back while sticking her tongue out at him.

I looked at Trixie and raised an eyebrow. I whispered, “Really? Smolder in a dress?”

My wife looked at me smugly. “Trust the Great and Perceptive Trixie.”

Not that I had a choice, but I did anyway. There were many reasons why I was a bachelor for so long and not knowing how to read females was one of them.

After the youngsters finished opening their presents, it was the adults’ turn. We even had a gift each for Penumbra and Steady Flight. While Crimson Boulder was spending the day with his family, Penny maintained that just because it was Hearth’s Warming, that didn’t mean she was excused from her duty. I’m sure she had plans to join her marefriend later when she was relieved. Steady was more than just my valet nowadays and his help with Gemini, while Trixie and I were busy getting ready in the morning, was invaluable. Besides, I wanted my best friend to share this family event with me.

Everything was so wonderfully perfect and reminiscent of my life back on Earth that, for the first time in many months, I felt a touch of homesickness. But then I looked around me and realized that I had gained so much more since then. I had a Great and Powerful Wife, a wonderful family, and friends that meant the world to me. I knew with utter certainty that I was the luckiest stallion in Equestria.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

If you have enjoyed this chapter, please consider leaving a tip by buying me a ko-fi.

Chapter 80 - Families

Dear Mark Wells,

Ummm… Have you ever had a situation when you don’t know whether your subordinates are grossly incompetent or stunningly brilliant? Applejack and Rainbow Dash are twisting my brain into knots!

They took a group of students out on a field trip supposedly to teach them about teamwork, only to demonstrate every feasible way how to NOT work as a team. Not settling for that, they moved on to unfeasible ways!

The students finally took charge and worked together to overcome obstacles while their “teachers” sat back and did nothing. Despite the multiple disasters, the youths were lavish with their praise, saying the “acting” showed more than words ever could how critical teamwork is for group success.

I’m just not convinced that it was an act.

The pupils usurped my authority by jointly giving Applejack and Rainbow Dash the Teacher of the Month award. I’ll not let that happen again. Especially since I’ll have to pay to get the two halves of the trophy joined back together before awarding it next month. I don’t care how funny the students find the antics of those two; can’t they stop play fighting (or real fighting) for ten minutes?

~ ~ ~

I put down the letter and chuckled. Apparently Cozy didn't understand the relationship between those two. Even a dunce like me could tell that they had the hots for each other and they liked to try to show off to their marefriend. However, their hyper-competitive personalities were so similar that they inevitably ended up with conflict and drama instead.

There were several aspects of winter that I enjoyed. The snow-capped roofs made Canterlot picture-postcard pretty for starters. Foals loved to make snowponies and have snowball fights. I might have been guilty of throwing one or two myself. Sitting in a warm café, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and eating warm cinnamon doughnuts was a particular pleasure. Thankfully, the current weather while cold was not too frigid and there wasn’t any wind chill factor, so that made those indulgences even more pleasant.

Since being very publicly coronated, traveling around the city was a lot trickier than when I was just Trixie’s advisor. Now, besides my personal bodyguard, I was normally shadowed by Royal Guards. This was understandable but hardly conducive to my goal of casually interacting with the citizens. Pomp and formality were for the Court; while I was out among the common ponies, I wanted to be like them as much as I could. This was very hard to do as ponies loved to treat royalty like… well… royalty. I just wanted to shoot the breeze with anypony I happened to interact with. This was difficult at best during the warmer months but, right now, I was cloaked in anonymity.

Actually, I was cloaked in a very stylish piece of apparel designed by (who else?) Rarity. While it ostensibly protected me from the cold, as a pegasus, now pegacorn, I was quite resistant to these chilly temperatures even without clothing. However, by keeping my wings close to my body and allowing the cape to cover my entire barrel including my cutie mark, I became just another unicorn stallion, albeit a smaller than average one. It was amazing the difference that made. I could wander the streets without anypony blinking an eye. I also had Gemini on my back, all bundled-up against the cold. They were in their unicorn filly form so we were just one more stallion and his daughter enjoying the brisk winter day.

Of course, I still had my bodyguard – Penny would have ripped me a new one if I tried to sneak out without protection. She did concede that a tall batpony following me everywhere was rather suspicious, so it was Crimson Boulder wearing a cloak over his armor who had the duty this day.

However, my other companion might have had a part in distracting from the three of us. There weren’t too many griffons who made Canterlot their home and the young cock walking by my side drew a few curious looks. Because Gallus had not been publicly announced as my ward, he was relatively anonymous for now. That would change in the future, but we would enjoy it while we could.

Now – about that cocoa and doughnuts… Gallus and I stepped into the shop with Crimson on our heels. Joe looked over to see who had rung the bell on the door and his eyes lit up in recognition. There was no fooling him as I was one of his regulars.

“Good afternoon, Mark! Your usual?” The proprietor was used to dealing informally with his famous customers.

“Yep. And double for my pal here. He looks like he’s wasting away.” I patted Crimson’s rock-solid barrel.

Joe and I chuckled as the earth pony rolled his eyes. He was still twice my mass and my regular training sessions with him showed that he was still in top form. I had resolved to fatten him up in an attempt to slow his reflexes but I think he was on to me.

I indicated Gallus with my hoof. “This fine young griffon is a new addition to my family. Gallus, I’d like you to meet Donut Joe, the finest purveyor of pastries in the kingdom.”

A frigid gust of wind blew open the front door of the shop, carrying what sounded like a moaning scream with it. “NOoooooooooooo….”

Quickly I amended what I had just said. “… except for cupcakes and cakes from Sugarcube Corner.”

The breeze changed direction, slamming the door closed.

“Pleased to meet you, sir,” Gallus said into the intervening silence. He hadn’t noticed anything unusual. What was I thinking? He’d been living in Ponyville for the whole semester. This probably was quite ordinary.

Joe grinned, and replied, “Same here, young fella. But the name’s Joe, not sir. What would you like to eat and drink?”

Gallus looked at me questioningly and I said, “Order anything you like, but I recommend the hot cocoa.”

The griffon nodded. “I’ll have what Mark’s having… for starters.”

I chuckled. “Now that’s what I expect from a hungry teen.”

Joe shared my grin. “Coming right up! I’ll bring them all to the back booth for you.”

That booth was our normal place to sit because it afforded us some privacy if we wanted to chat with Joe or the other staff. However, it also allowed my bodyguard to keep watch with a wall at his (or her) back, making the Security ponies much happier. For these reasons, Joe would hold the table in reserve unless it got too busy. It was fairly crowded right now as many ponies, a griffon, and even two evolved changelings had the same idea as me but fortunately our table was still available. And if anypony had recognized me from Joe calling out my name, they kept it to themselves. That was pretty typical of Joe’s clientele and another reason why I liked coming here.

We made ourselves comfortable in the booth. There was plenty of room remaining and we would have been happy to have Smolder along with us, but the dragoness had begged off. Not too surprising, really. This was a species that enjoyed bathing in lava and made their home where the climate was always warm – Equestrian winter was one step from a frozen hell to them. Smolder was rugged up until she was almost unrecognizable under layers of clothing whenever she went outside. Hmm… maybe next time I could arrange with Twilight to teleport her here to join us. I’d have to forewarn everypony first though. Having a dragon pop into their midst unexpectedly was a good way to panic skittish ponies. However, for now, Trixie was keeping her company at the castle. My wife was none too fond of winter – something about too many nights on the road spent in a poorly insulated wagon.

When Joe returned with our cocoa and snacks, we conversed for a while. I explained Gallus’s relationship with me and how it came about. “And if he brings around Smolder or any other friends for a treat, you can charge it all to my account.” I gave Gallus a pointed look. “As long as he promises not to abuse the privilege.”

“Sounds fair,” he replied. “Maybe when school resumes next week, I can bring my pals up here for a visit.”

“That’s a good idea. Maybe explore the city a bit while you’re at it.” I glanced at Crimson who gave a small nod of understanding. I knew he’d make arrangements for some discreet guardians for the group.

After we were sufficiently fortified with warm sugary goodness, we ventured out onto the streets again. Now, you might think that the city would be pretty dead outside in the middle of winter, but you don’t know ponies too well. There was a street fair happening which was our main excuse besides Joe’s place to go outdoors. This was a family day for me, my daughter-son, and my new adopted son – an opportunity for us to bond over some mutually enjoyable activities. We must have visited every single booth, some more than once. Gallus gravitated to the games of skill like ring toss and dart throwing. Gemini couldn’t get enough of the Pony Race booth where each contestant aimed a stream of water at a target to get their clockwork pony to run faster. My foal definitely was in it for the fun. Gemini rolled off their seat with laughter every time one of the ponies lurched forward in their clumsy way. The funniest thing since “Fizz Fizz”, apparently. Trixie and Smolder didn’t know what they were missing.

It was a tired but happy group that eventually returned to the castle. I had brought back a bag of doughnuts for my wife and another bag of the treats with gem-sprinkles on them for Smolder. We sat around the fireplace and talked about the day that we’d had, and Gallus showed off the inflatable hydra toy prize that he had won at one of the games of skill at the fair—fortunately not life sized. It was all so perfect.

Winter only lasted a few short weeks in Equestria – just long enough for plants to go dormant for pruning, insect pests to be killed by the cold, and plant diseases kept at bay. Some ponies liked it for the winter sports but for others, Winter Wrap-up couldn’t come soon enough. It wouldn’t be long now before Spring was here and Gallus would go back to school. But, for now, we could be a real family.

Speaking of family, Shining Armor and Cadance visited Canterlot to share the holidays with Twilight for a couple of days. Naturally, they brought along Flurry Heart and Shiny Button. The latter surprised us as he currently looked like an alicorn colt.

Apparently, Button had spontaneously taken that form one day, seemingly oblivious to the stir that he caused. He certainly looked even more like Shining’s son that way, not that his parents cared. The changeling colt had endeared himself thoroughly by this time and was obviously enjoying a steady diet of rich love.

“Does he stay that way now?” Twilight asked.

Shining shook his head. “No, although he’s remaining as an alicorn for longer each time. He usually switches back to his natural changeling form when he’s tired or eating. We think it’s because he hasn’t gotten used to feeding on emotions and retaining his pony form at the same time yet.”

I nodded. “I suppose that makes sense. I’ll ask Chrysalis about it next time I see her.”

“Trixie thinks you would be better off asking Diadem,” my wife opined.

“Perhaps, but Chrysalis is Button’s dam, so she may be interested in his progress.”

Cadance’s expression soured a little. “I may be the Princess of Love but I still have difficulty accepting her relationship to our son.”

I gave her a sympathetic look. “I know, but we do not make progress by ignoring that which we don’t like.” I sighed. “Heaven knows I keep trying to get through to Chrysalis, but she’s a hard nut to crack.”

Shining grimaced. “Are you sure she’s worth the effort?”

“No, but I’ve been surprised before.” I shrugged. “Still, it must make things a little easier for your subjects that Button doesn’t obviously look like he’s related to her now.”

Cadence shook her head. “Most Crystal Kingdom citizens never experienced the invasion of Canterlot, so it’s the ponies who came later who have a reason for their concern. The majority of those also work for the Crown, and they’ve gotten used to having a changeling prince around. So, really, whether Button is in his natural form or like he is at the moment doesn’t matter to us.”

Shining added, “And we won’t be forcing him to make a choice either.”

“It might not matter anyway,” Twilight said.

Cadance raised an inquiring eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’m reminded of Free Agent from the House Path world. He’s actually a changeling but he spontaneously became a griffon after living with his natural father and adoptive mother for a while. He stayed that way all his life and didn’t realize that he was a changeling until years later. I believe that this is a normal response by changelings that are in a permanent relationship with another species. Adaptation is their primary survival trait, after all.”

Shining Armor looked thoughtful. “So, it’s probable that Button will soon remain in alicorn colt form? A bit of me and a bit of Cadance? Sounds great to me.”

Cadance gave her husband a kiss. “Me too, darling.”

I smiled, pleased by how they had taken to their new son. “On a related subject, you’re really starting to show now, Cadance. Do you think you’ll have a colt this time?”

The pink alicorn brightened. “While I’d like that, I suspect it’ll be another filly. At least, it feels the same as when I was carrying Flurry.”

Twilight said, “I think she’ll like having a younger sister. She already has an older brother, after all.”

“I think so too. But it’s not as if I won’t give her another chance at more,” Cadance said with a small smirk.

“Just how many do you plan to have?” I asked.

“I’m the Alicorn of Love – why should I set a cap?”

Shining said, “That’s Cady-speak for ‘I will stop when Shiny can’t keep it up anymore’.”

I chuckled. “Any sign of that happening soon?”

“Nope!” he replied with a huge grin.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Stallions!”

Ah! Family is such fun.

After school resumed, Gallus returned to the dormitory that he shared with his friends. He wanted their companionship and I concurred with his desire. Trixie and I still had the weekends with him, and sometimes we also hosted a special event for him with his pals. I think we struck a fair balance between his and our needs and desires. And while griffons are naturally taciturn, Gallus could hardly wait to tell us about anything particularly new and exciting that he had learned. Except for history, perhaps. He kept moaning about failing that. Of course, we never expected this unusual tale…

“… and when the Tree of Harmony declared that we do have friendship within us, it opened up the way out of the caves under the school and we climbed back into the library.”

I nodded thoughtfully. “So, once you all overcame your fears and doubts and showed your commitment to your friends, you had passed the test?”

Gallus nodded. “That’s right.”

“And Smolder really does like cute and pretty things?”

The griffon looked embarrassed. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

My wife spoke up, giving me a condescending look. “No matter – Trixie had realized that already.”

Well, that certainly explained Smolder’s Hearth’s Warming present. “I never knew that you had a fear of small enclosed spaces. Or any of the others’ concerns for that matter. Gallus, I’m still learning how to be a parent, but I want you to know that you can always come to me or Trixie if you have a problem. That’s kind of what we signed up for when we offered to take you into our family. It’s great that you have so many friends to support you, but don’t be afraid to approach us too.”

“Umm… what if it’s something that you don’t like?”

I chuckled. “I think that you know by now that not everything in life is going to be pleasant or satisfactory. Doubtless, some things that you do growing up will end up displeasing me and vice versa. The Tree of Harmony showed you that you had problems to overcome and you had to work at solving them. There will be other tests, and I’m not talking about school. Sometimes, things aren’t going to work out the way you would have liked but don’t let that stop you.”

“Just like I didn’t let my fears stop me from helping my friends, right?” Gallus said.

“Exactly. And don’t let your difficulty with history prevent you from trying your hardest.”

Gallus groaned. “Did you have to bring that up?”

I chuckled. “Don’t let it stress you too much. I’ll let you into a little secret – I sucked at history too when I was in school. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it – I just couldn’t remember names and dates when it came to exams. I barely scraped through with a pass. It didn’t stop me from excelling in other areas which led to my first career.”

“Okay, I promise to try my best.”

“That’s all we ask.”

“I’d better get back to school. My friends and I have a study group this evening.”

“Right. Thanks for coming over and telling us about your little adventure. Oh, and could you ask Smolder to come to see me this weekend?”

“Sure. Why?”

I smiled mysteriously. “That’s between me and her.”

Gallus stared at me for a moment before shrugging. “Okay then. Seeya.”

He gave us both a quick hug before leaving.

When he was gone, my wife said, “Can Trixie guess what you want to talk to Smolder about?”

I grinned. “You’re the Great and Perceptive One – I have no doubt you’ve figured it out already.”

“Should Trixie invite Smolder’s friends to the next event?”

“I don’t think Gallus would forgive you if you didn’t,” I replied with a smirk.

My wife’s smile matched mine before she changed the subject. “How do you think Twilight will react when she learns of the Tree of Harmony’s evolution?”

I chuckled. “It’ll probably send her to geek heaven, followed by an intense investigation. Hmm… y’ know, her castle can be considered the offspring of the Tree. Bearing that in mind and Gallus’ recent revelations, it goes a long way to explain how it can adapt to its occupier’s needs.”

“It’s a living, sapient thing, you mean?”

“Most likely. I can picture it now – our co-regent trying to have conversations with the castle walls. How long before our subjects start wondering if she’s gone completely loopy?”

Trixie started laughing and I had to join her. That would be so like Twilight.

I entered Celestia’s old chambers with my wife. The six Element Bearers followed, all chatting simultaneously. How they each made sense of what the other five were saying, I’ll never understand, regardless of which form I was in.

Trailing them were the three Royal Advisors, whose demeanors couldn’t have been any different. Raven Inkwell was prancing on her tippy-hooves with a Pinkie Pie-sized smile on her face. Moon Dancer had her nose stuck in a book. I asked her once if she avoided running into anything by echolocation. She had laughed and said that only happened when the book was especially fascinating. Princess Diadem trembled slightly and looked physically smaller today. The ears splayed back on her head and wide eyes told me in more than words that she didn’t feel like she belonged here. The reason why was the two mares who were the last to enter. After the guards in the hallway closed the door, they both shrugged off their cloaks and dropped the illusions that hid their true forms.

“Ahhhhh!” said Celestia as she stretched her wings. “Luna, remind me to disguise myself as a pegasus next time.”

The Night Princess turned to her with a smirk. “Oh, thou canst be assured I won’t let my dearest sister live down any mistake. That is my burden, and I have years to catch up on.” She looked around. “To mine eyes, this looks nearly identical to thy chamber in our Canterlot.” Luna’s gaze stopped at one wall. “Though I don’t recall seeing that bookcase and thy full-length mirror is missing.”

My wife said, “Ah… Trixie particularly enjoys that mirror and had it moved to our new quarters. The rest of the furnishings are unchanged from when Trixie became a princess. Trixie found no reason to alter them.”

Celestia nodded with a pleased smile as she finished scanning the room. “I agree. The pony who decorated this room is truly a genius.” She raised a hoof to her chest and gasped dramatically. “Oh, sorry! I was talking about myself again, wasn’t I?”

Luna poked her with a hoof. “Thou canst only dream of possessing such talent. Trust me, for I would know.”

Luna grinned. “I can not in good conscience allow thy head to grow even larger than its already monstrous size. Mayhap, that might just get ponies starting cults to worship thee... again.”

“Oh, I had almost forgotten! Dealing with those imbeciles was most cathartic! I suppose pony worship was a natural consequence of quelling the city-states and assuming absolute authority over our growing country. I did enjoy breaking wings and singeing coats of ponies that decided the ‘Night Deity’ was the only source of Absolute Truth. Remember that one group of earth ponies heard that you liked salmon and all they would eat was that fish? And raw?”

Luna laughed freely. “I despise salmon! The only fish our family could acquire on account of its abundance. I loathe it with great passion. A millennium is too short a time to yearn for its taste again.” She narrowed her eyes. “If I remember correctly, thou didst enjoy thy cogent persuasion of the jackanapes before they died of malnutrition.”

“Indeed. Nothing short of extreme measures would convince them to see the error of their ways. Even so, we had to control ourselves. Enough ponies died fighting for their petty warlords before our arrival. I had no wish to add to the body count for such an infraction.” Celestia smiled. “Still, I admit I secretly enjoyed answering pleas to the ‘Immaculate Sun Goddess’ by sending you in my stead.”

Luna motioned with her head towards the balcony. Celestia nodded and the pair walked that way.

Twilight blinked rapidly. Apparently, hearing such a carefree attitude towards violence from any Celestia jarred the purple alicorn’s sensibilities. I knew the Equestria of over a thousand years ago was a brutal place. Obviously, that also held true for the House Path dimension.

Luna barked out a laugh. “Ha! Naturally, the ‘Divine Bringer of the Sun’ had more churches founded in thy name. That meant I got more exercise than thee, which suited me well enough. Didst thou knowest I would yell at them while knocking their heads together? ‘Mine sister wetteth her bed when she was ten! I saw her eateth her very own snot yesterday! What kind of fool worshipeth that kind of pony?’”

Celestia stopped in her tracks just as she stepped onto the balcony. “Luna! You didn’t!”

Luna’s horn lit followed immediately by Celestia’s. The sun and moon quickly changed places in the sky, quite a bit faster than I had ever seen before.

The blue mare shrugged. “Every word was true, dear sister. The greatest foe in any battle is the enemy’s morale. Crush that, and they never return to the field.”

I said, “Umm... Perhaps you should not have lowered the sun and raised the moon.” Both mares looked at me then back outside. They wore the same abashed smile when they turned around to face the rest of us.

“Oops,” said Luna. “We dost perform our duty without forethought.”

“Maybe no pony noticed,” offered her sister.

A scroll appeared in front of Twilight’s horn and fell to the floor – followed by another, and another, and another.

Then the same cascade started for Trixie. Then for me.

Applejack’s voice came out in a drawl loud enough to be heard over Rainbow’s laughter. “Wanna bet on that, Sugarcube?”

Celestia and Luna hunched over a bit and snuck back inside. I could only hope nopony had looked up at the balcony.

A certain Princess of Friendship spent the next ten minutes scrawling off “false alarm” notes to every current and past member of the Guild of Mages. I don’t know what oaths she was muttering, but they did not sound friendly.

Fluttershy draped a wing over her friend’s back. Her gentle and sympathetic smile was constant. “Just breathe, Twilight. Relax. It’s all over now.”

In stages, the purple mare’s grumbling became quieter. Finally, she took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out slowly. “Thanks, Fluttershy. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Speak for yourself. That was hilarious, especially your pouty-face. I’m gonna announce to Canterlot that their princesses are back—Hey!”

The last bit was in response to a lasso tightening around the pegasus’ barrel, pinning her wings and dragging Dash down to the floor.

Applejack growled, “Y’all ain’t doing none of that, Sugarcube.”

The pegasus grinned and whispered just loud enough for everypony to hear. “Pssst! Enough with the ropes. We don’t want anypony to know about that.”

The farm mare flicked her lasso in a quick pattern and now Rainbow’s muzzle was clamped shut by a second loop of rope. That didn’t distract anypony from Applejack’s scarlet cheeks.

Rarity’s voice cut through the chuckles from all around us. “Rainbow is quite correct, dear. Entirely the wrong knot for the job. Please feel free to see me if you need some pointers.”

Wait. Did that mean that Rarity...? Well, I knew what would happen if I asked. Time to set that thought aside for the moment.

I placed my hoof onto the wall next to the bookcase. This time, I was in my pegasus stallion form so there was only one white alicorn in the room for this experiment. “Celestia, would you mind putting your horn into the hole hidden over here?”

“Of course. I am most eager to see this sanctuary my counterpart created.” The white mare’s horn lit and a golden shimmer of magic covered the area of marble I was pointing to. Slowly, a black circle appeared. When she had lined up her appendage, the glowing field winked out, leaving her delicate horn nearly touching apparently unblemished marble. Slowly, she pushed forward, her horn disappearing until her forehead touched the wall. As before when I did this, everypony held their breath.

A familiar ‘click’ issued from behind the bookcase and I saw Twilight’s aura rotate the cabinet outward. The portal blended seamlessly into the wall, making it appear as if the darkened chamber beyond was adjacent to this one.

The delighted gasps from our two visitors made me smile. Just as these Royal Sisters had told us, their House Path dimension contained nothing like it.

As she started forward, I held out a forehoof to hold Luna back. At her quizzical stare, I said, “We don’t know what security measures our Celestia put in place. I hold a matchstick spell when I am the first to enter and the last to leave.”

“Sensible,” said Celestia as she poked her glowing horn into the room beyond the wall. Immediately, a wind came up, disturbing the dust. As the smokeless torches lit in a sequence reaching to the rear of the chamber, I saw the alicorn’s eyes open wider and mouth hang open further.

“Sister!” The Sun Princess entered the room at a full gallop. How she did this from a standing start, I have no idea. “It’s here! It’s all here!”

As the two mares pranced about the chamber, I could hear snippets of their conversation while the rest of us occupied ourselves by staying out of their way. Celestia soon had her sister trapped under an outstretched wing, but Luna didn’t seem to mind in the least, her ears pointed forward in interest. All of the Element Bearers chuckled at their enthusiasm and for good reason. Both looked every inch like teenage fillies dashing through a candy store.

“My parade armor that Rolled Steel gifted me on my first centennial! … The falchion forged by Ghost Blade! Hmm. This one has seen more use than mine. ... And here! I wore this outfit to my two hundredth Summer Sun Celebration! ... Do you remember the pegasus colt I had a crush on when I was little? Semiplume won that carving for me at the Hearth’s Warming Fair when I was twelve. ... Mother’s scarf! ... And... oh.”

Celestia stopped her dashing around the room and sat down with a thump. Her wings went slack, freeing her sister. The wood scaffolding holding the room’s paintings glowed in her magic for a moment and the portrait of the stalwart earth pony floated out. His red coat reminded me of Big Mac. Cleanly defined muscles and a rigid stance identified him as a soldier, though his eyes and smile showed a gentleness that belied his strength.

Luna asked, “Is that him?”

Celestia’s hoof went to her mouth. “Yes. I ... I need...” Tears flowed freely from her eyes.

This time it was Luna that put a comforting wing around her sister. I came up next to the blue mare. “I didn’t hear how Mountain Blood became so dear to your sister.” I heard the rest of the herd trot up behind me.

Luna gave Celestia a squeeze with her wing before turning to ten expectant faces. “Well, first thou dost need to understand that my sister fell into despondency for years after she banished me to the moon. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, Mountain Blood was born that very day. He advanced through the ranks to become his ruler’s personal bodyguard when he was a mere thirty turns of the seasons. Then he began playing The Slow Game. Little by little, with a comment here and a jest there, he drew my broken sister out of her shell. After ten years, they progressed to gifts and the occasional touch. After twenty, she declared her love to her stallion and through him to her ponies again. There shall never be another who could hold as special a place in the heart of mine sister.”

Behind me, I recognized Rarity’s familiar gasp. I’d be hearing about how romantic this all was for years.

Diadem walked up next to me, her ears pointing forward as she studied the depiction. I put a hoof on her withers to get her attention and shook my head.

She blinked a few times and whispered into my ear. “But she’s giving off such a confusing mix of emotions right now – grief being the most prominent. Wouldn’t seeing him again make her happy?”

“No, Diadem. Your heart is in the right place, but that would just make her feel the loss even greater. Trust me.”

She gazed into my eyes, apparently to gauge how sure I was. Then she nodded.

I asked Luna, “Do you know if your sister had a painting like this?”

Celestia answered. “Many years ago. Many, many years ago.” She took a hoofkerchief floated to her by Twilight’s magic and used it to wipe her eyes. She followed that by blowing her nose with a loud and very undignified honk. Briefly, I wondered if the hoofkerchief was made of priceless Nipponese silk. Well, not my problem. For any ‘Celestia’ to use however she wished, I suppose.

The white alicorn continued. “I started a collection like this. Cherished mementos and gifts. Diaries and dresses. Artifacts of my sister’s that I held in the hope of her return. All of them were destroyed while I was away with my armies fighting the diamond dogs. Most of Canterlot burned on the Day of the Red Feather when griffons attacked eight-hundred years ago. That included the castle which was still under construction and full of wood scaffolding. It was gutted with fire and collapsed on itself.” She sighed. “After losing everything, I didn’t have the heart to start over again.”

Luna smiled and raised her chin. Her eyes twinkled and she pulled me close with a very strong wing. “Prince Mark, I think it appropriate that thou allowst my Celestia to keepeth this painting ... as what you call in this era a ‘door prize’.”

I chuckled. “No, I don’t think so. The other Celestia might be a bit upset if she returned to find any of her most cherished belongings missing.”

“Let us ask, shall we?” Luna craned her neck upwards. “Say, This-World’s-Celestia? Dost thou mind if my sister receiveth a tiny, insignificant reminder of her time here? No?”

She looked back at me and her horn glowed slightly. Her wing gripped me tighter than ever. This time I saw slit pupils and fangs. “I hear no objections.”

Two could play at this game. My chest was pressed into her side but my forelegs were free. I used them to tickle her barrel with both forehooves. She squee’d like a foal, releasing me from her wing’s grasp. Her horn glow winked out, causing the illusion on her teeth and eyes to dispel.

After sputtering for a moment, Luna said, “Such impertinence! Very well, we will settle for a long-term loan.”

I snorted. “‘Long-term’ means something entirely different for alicorns. Still no.”

“Bah!”

Celestia spoke up. “Sister, enough.”

“But he is so much fun to tease, Tia! He fights back, unlike most of the stallions of this time. If it wasn’t for Long Path, I’d have no hope for any of them.”

The white alicorn drew her sister into a hug, which was quickly returned. After a while, Celestia pulled back. “It is enough to know I can come here when I wish to see his likeness again.” She took a deep breath and put on an unconvincing smile. Her horn glowed and the portrait gently floated back to the supporting framework. “Now let’s see what other surprises ‘other me’ has in store for us.”

Each of the Elements had their favorite items from the Celestia CollectionTM. This version was happy to supply the backstory for each, except for a short sword and blouse that did not spark any memories. Whether this was from events unfolding differently between universes or the items being forgotten as unimportant, we would likely never know.

Ultimately, all of us stood in front of the two bookcases. Celestia’s eyes sparkled. “I never thought I would see these again! And after the fire, I no longer kept a diary.”

Raven’s magic floated Volume Thirty-Five from her saddlebags back to its spot on the bookshelf. She said, “I’m so looking forward to hearing all the memories that these volumes spark! I have so many questions about everything the diaries talked around instead of talking about.”

Encased in a golden glow, Volume One floated down to the floor in front of the prone alicorn. Emotions ran quickly across Celestia’s face as she flipped through the book at a rapid pace, only needing a second to read each page. I suppose it made sense that she could speed read after over a thousand years of governance. Celestia was already levitating Volume Two to her side before she was a quarter way through the first volume. Raven Inkwell lay down next to the alicorn, levitating three stacks of index cards out of her saddlebags. As Celestia flipped through the first book, Trixie’s advisor stopped her with a whispered question. The alicorn paused to answer, only resuming her torrid reading pace when Raven had finished scribbling her notes.

Luna cleared her throat. “While my dear sister is otherwise occupied, I believe thou hast a salient reason for bringing me here? Regarding what secrets my counterpart has hidden away.”

Twilight jumped like she had been pricked by a pin. “Oh, of course!” The lavender mare’s horn lit and the bookcases rotated away from the wall like double doors, revealing the stone wall behind them.

Luna trotted up and skeptically eyed the hole at the height of her muzzle. I could just hear her mumble, “Yes, this is wider at the base than the other. It would not fit mine sister’s horn.” She hesitated. “This hadst best not be one of Tia’s elaborate pranks.”

Slowly, carefully, she pushed her horn into the space. When she bottomed out, nothing happened.

The silence was broken by Pinkie Pie. “That’s it? No party?”

Rainbow Dash said, “Nah. I don’t believe it. No way is Princess Luna that lame.”

Twilight said, “Princess, please channel a bit of magic into your horn.”

“Oh? Why didst thou not sayest ... never mind.”

This time, there was a WHOOMPH sound as the air pressure equalized. Where there had been a blank wall moments before, I could now see a dark corridor just to Luna’s left. The princess backed up carefully to free her horn then craned her head to look down the passageway. She turned back to us and smiled, rearing for a few seconds while kicking her front legs. “Huzzah! On to adventure!”

Luna led us single-file through a roughly-hewn twisting passageway deeper underground. Those of us with horns spaced ourselves throughout the party to provide illumination. Studying the walls, I became fairly certain they were composed of limestone.

I heard a gasp from ahead of me followed by Luna’s voice. “Everypony stop and put out thy horns.”

All did so and absolute darkness surrounded us. It was not silent as I could hear the breathing of everypony before and behind me. Occasionally, Applejack’s muzzle or Rainbow Dash’s rump would jostle into me… or maybe I was bumping them by shifting in place. Regardless, the physical reminders of my friends being here filled me with comfort. Was that pony sensibilities taking hold in my psyche, making me feel safe as long as I was part of the herd? Did I feel the same way among my friends when I was a human? I honestly couldn’t remember.

After a minute or so, my eyes had adjusted enough to see a faint glow from up ahead, somewhere beyond the ponies in front.

“Follow,” said Luna. I felt Applejack grab hold of my tail with her teeth and did likewise with Rainbow Dash.

Slowly, we moved forward until I felt the walls open up around me. I took my place as the next in a line of ponies standing on the cavern floor. I felt Trixie wedge herself next to me on my left, pushing Applejack out of the way. Only when she was settled did I look up.

Patterns of green, violet, and blue lichens glowed in arcs and patches high overhead. The rock dome of the chamber must have been a hundred feet above us. My eyes traced down stalactites to their companion stalagmites rising from the floor which sat among a forest of stone cups and rounded projections of differing sizes. These structures ended at the edge of an underground stream. Following the water to its source, I saw a small waterfall at the highest point of the cavern. A tiny white fish jumped out of the water and fell back in with a plop. On our side of the stream, flowstone made a smooth but irregular surface that cascaded down to three round pools held in by rims of rock. In the dim light, I could tell the ground beneath us consisted of several different shades of stone. Bands of lighter or darker rock spread out in organic patterns beneath us. Directly across the chamber, I could see the outline of another passageway through the rock. Did it lead to a portal to Luna’s chambers in Canterlot? To somewhere in the Castle of Two Sisters? Or to another secret room filled with her memories?

Luna broke the silence. “What a wondrous place my counterpart found.” She flapped her wings until she landed on a huge stalagmite in the center of the room with a bulbous top. She squinted at the places her hooves touched the stone. “Why would there be hoof-shaped depressions sunk into… oh.”

We all knew why she had stopped. The acoustics of the dome overhead brought her voice back to us amplified and clarified somehow. She must be at the locus point made by the dome of the arching ceiling. Luna’s melodic tones slowly faded away as they bounced off the many walls and alcoves of the cavern.

Rarity said, “Isn’t it obvious, darling? Your counterpart came down here to sing.”

The Alicorn of the Night gaped for a moment then whipped her tail back and forth. “I… umm… “

Rainbow Dash spoke up. “You’ve totally got this, Princess! Give us what you’ve got!”

Supporting murmurs came from the audience and I sat down, pulling Trixie close with one wing and Rainbow with the other.

Luna settled and a smile slowly took over her face. “Oh, very well. I shall sing to thee the lully which mine mother would sing to Tia and me when we needed to sleep.”

Lully, lullah, thou little tiny child,
Bye bye, lully, lullay.
Thou little tiny child,
Bye-bye, lully, lullay.

O sisters too, how may we do
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling for whom we sing,
"Bye-bye, lully, lullay"?

Brutish the king, in his raging,
Chargèd he hath this day
His knights of might in his own sight
All young children to slay.

That woe is me, poor child, for thee
And ever mourn and may
For thy parting neither say nor sing,
"Bye-bye, lully, lullay." (*1)

As the last echoes of the mare’s voice faded into the distance, everypony clopped their hooves in a very restrained manner. Somehow, even Dash knew that this stone cathedral was not a place for clamorous applause. Kind of depressing and brutal lyrics for a lullaby, but I suppose that honestly reflected the age when it was composed.

Luna bowed her head in acknowledgment then swooped down to land in front of us. “Who is next? Who amongst the Element Bearers has the finest voice?”

All eyes landed on Fluttershy. She had remained nearly unnoticed until now, which I suspect was to her liking. She hid one eye behind her mane as she shrunk down. “Umm… I only have a nice voice after I’ve had poison joke. Sorry.”

“Wait,” I said. Rummaging through my saddlebags, my hoof finally came across the vial I sought. “Aha! I thought these old bags might have a… dose…” When I looked up, I saw exactly what kind of look Fluttershy used to cow a full-grown dragon. Let me tell you, THE STARE is not something to be ignored or laughed off.

My advisor came to my rescue. “Would… would you all mind if I gave it a try? I mean, I would really like to.”

That caused Fluttershy to look away. Fortunately for me, Trixie caught my limp form before my nose smacked into the stone floor.

The Element of Kindness said, “Of course! Nopony minds at all.” She spoke the last two words with a hint of steel and a barely hidden warning. Lots of sounds of agreement from all around.

Luna didn’t seem to notice the butter-colored monster in our midst. “Splendid! Up thou goest, Princess!”

After settling herself on the stone, Diadem smiled nervously. “This is from a batpony theater production. It closed some years ago but I think this song is perfect for our royal audience.”

Luna made a mild snorting noise and waved a hoof dismissively. Her ears, however, were pointed directly at my advisor. Diadem raised her head proudly and began.

Before Night Mother made the sea and the land,
Luna held all the stars in the frog of her hoof.
And they ran through her fetlock like grains of sand,
And one little star fell aloof…(*2)

In no uncertain terms, Pinkie declared the event to be a “singing party” and everypony had to take their turn. Trixie belted out a vaudeville number about “Miss Susie” (*3) where every verse that would end in a profanity instead used that word innocuously to start the next verse. When it was Applejack’s turn, Pinkie Pie stood on her back to help sing the Apple family song “Apples to the Core.” (*4) I followed their duo with “Thank Faust I’m a Country Colt!” (*5), may John Denver forgive me.

Only after everypony had their turn on top of the column – yes, even a bass baritone-voiced Fluttershy let loose with “Mighty Lak’ A Rose” (*6) – did we start our way back. Luna insisted the passageway on the far side of the chamber could wait until their next visit. “This way, thou art all sure to invite us back! Besides, we have left mine sister to her own devices for too long.”

As we emerged into Celestia’s chamber, Luna kept trying to get her point across to Moon Dancer, though to my ears it sounded more like the alicorn was trying to convince herself. “Perhaps Tia and I were rash to ban all worship of our Royal Personages. If ponies are inspired to create such marvelous songs about us, wouldst it not be fair to… sister, what troubles thee?”

Celestia squinted at the page before her. Volume Eight if the pile of books on her left was an honest indication. Raven had pulled out four more stacks of cards to go with the first three and she riffled through several stacks at once. Behind me, I heard the bookcases slide back to their original location.

The white alicorn sighed as she looked up. “I just don’t understand it, Luna. Most details are as I remember them, with only a few differences here and there. Then I run into a page like this one that is just… plain wrong. My majordomo at this time was Spring Gale, not Zesty Tart. He loved flying in airships, not ‘loathed.’ And he introduced a new variety of pear tree, not ‘a peanut tree.’ That doesn’t even exist!”

Luna tapped her chin with a hoof. “Most vexing. Didst perhaps thy write those pages while exhausted? Or drunk?”

That earned her a pointed stare. “First of all, it was my counterpart, not me. Secondly, the horn writing on those pages is just as neat. Compare the left and right pages here.” She floated the book to her sister who took it in her magic.

Luna brought the tome close to her muzzle. Moon Dancer and Twilight crowded in on either side to do the same. Wordlessly, the two book nerds came to the same conclusion. They moved back a step, having nothing to contribute.

As the Night Alicorn set the volume on the floor, Fluttershy’s deep rolling voice said, “Maybe their history is just that different from ours?”

The pegasus mare’s dramatic change of voice drew a wide-eyed stare from the Sun Princess. Meanwhile, Raven waved a few cards in the air with her magic. “No. Spring Gale is mentioned both before and after this date as the castle’s majordomo. Zesty Tart was the sous chef from sixty years earlier. These are exactly the type of inconsistencies I was hoping your world’s Celestia could clear up.”

I pulled the book closer, giving me the chance to examine it. Other than Celestia having dog-eared the upper corner of the left page, I could not see any significant differences between the style in which they were written.

Luna frowned. “Art thou sure? I dost not see the problem. A bad day. A trying session with ambassadors. Simple fatigue. All these could explaineth this happenstance.”

Pinkie Pie said, “A bad cupcake!”

Luna turned to her and nodded. “Several, but yes. That too.”

The white alicorn scowled and her horn glowed. Volume 1 floated over and opened to another dog-eared page. “Then explain this, dear sister. ‘Our stalwart earth pony royal guard Sharp Lance once again refuseth to become mine own personal bodyguard, just as he hath done for mine sister. Dear Luna was mightily impressed by his fortitude as he runneth like the wind. And such a noble heart beateth in yon chest! On his off days, he traveleth to be with his mother in the Smokey Mountains.’ ”

“Lies!” shouted Luna with ferocity, her wings spreading out and slightly forward—very clear pegasus body language indicating aggression. It worked on both Twilight and Moon Dancer. They skipped backward rather quickly.

Luna’s sister was not so easily cowed. “Art thou sure,’ dear sister? Mayhap thou didst partake in too much moonshine.”

“Mocking my speech as well as my sanity now, doth thee? No! Sharp Lance was a pegasus stallion of the highest quality, not an earth pony. He flew like the wind, not galloped. His mother Evening Gale lived in the White Tail Woods. She made the finest teacakes in all of Equestria.”

Celestia’s derisive smile didn’t change. She tilted her head back and forth. “Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong.”

“I know thou rememberest the same as I.” She stomped a hoof. “He told me I had no equal for preening his wings!”

That finally got Celestia to stop smiling. Her magic cut out and the book dropped to the floor, forgotten. The white alicorn gaped and stared without blinking at her sister.

Together, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash said, “Oooooo...”

I said, “What? What did I miss?”

Rarity came up to put a hoof on my withers. “Mark, dear – you should read more historical romances. Back in those days, if a stallion let a mare preen his wings, that meant they were most intimate.”

A glance at Luna’s blush and restless wings told me this must have been true. Luna stammered out, “Well, sister? There was no crime in it. We were both full-grown.”

After several seconds, Celestia said in a small voice, “Sharp Lance told me I had no equal at preening his wings.”

“What!?” everypony chorused at once. Then the laughter started.

After a bit, Applejack said, “Ya mean that stallion was beddin’ ya both and neither of y’all had any idea?”

“Wow. That was one courageous stallion,” said Rainbow Dash. “Risking the wrath of one or both goddess-queens.”

Rarity said, “Indeed, darlings. I must know all the details. Such audacity must be made known to all ponies, and what better way than as the theme for my spring line?”

Both madly blushing Royal Sisters now studied the ceiling and the walls. Neither wanted to look at each other or the amused audience. I, however, looked at the open book. “Celestia, did you dog-ear both of those pages?”

“What?”

“Did you fold the corners of the pages on this book or the other one?”

“No. No, I didn’t. They were already that way.”

The chuckling died out as I moved in front of the bookcase containing the spellbooks. I said, “Raven, when the two of us did the quick flip-through of every diary, how many pages were folded in the corners?”

She answered immediately. “Thirty-seven in the upper corner, nine in the lower.”

I counted the volumes. Thirty-six books and one bag on the lower shelves. Nine tomes in black hide of one sort or another on the top shelf.

I felt Celestia come up to my side. She floated down the two oldest volumes from the second shelf if their upper-and-leftmost placement were anything to go by. Holding one in each hoof, she said, “The pegasus flieth to White Tail Woods.”

The left book glowed white and lifted upwards a few inches. Its segmented silver clasp fell away. Red-stained snakeskin had been used to make the cover which now opened of its own accord.

“Huzzah!” declared Luna.

“Huzzah, indeed,” said Celestia with a look of wonder on her face. She set down the second book and leafed through this one with her right hoof.

I turned to see two very intense mares. Raven scribbled down the passphrase while levitating a new stack of cards from her saddlebags. Pinkie Pie quivered on her hooves, holding her party canon with a manic grin plastered on her face. Manic even for Pinkie.

I nodded with a smirk. “Good idea, Pinkie. It is definitely time for—”

“A PARTY!” she finished for me. Her canon went off and Celestia’s secret chamber was filled with confetti.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. Pinkie’s first reaction upon seeing the room was that she thought she knew every place in Equestria where there could be a party. Now it seemed that void in the cosmos had been filled.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

(1) Luna: Coventry Carol – 16th Century British Pageant Carol.
(2) Diadem: Lost in the Stars – Kurt Weill.
(3) Trixie: Miss Susie Had a Steamboat – Vaudeville tune with many versions and authors.
(4) Applejack and Pinkie Pie: Apples to the Core – show canon.
(5) Mark (with some paraphrasing): Thank God I'm A Country Boy – John Denver.
(6) Fluttershy: Mighty Lak’ a Rose – Stanton and Nevin.

Art by Zelaná.

Chapter 81 - Learning Their Place

Twilight arrived a little late for lunch at the Royal Dining Hall in Canterlot Castle. Because she had the afternoon session this day, I asked if she had been delayed by her preparations. She brought Trixie and me up to speed in between spoonfuls of vegetable medley soup. “In between” meaning I got to see the soup in her mouth as she talked. Trixie and I had given up on the alicorn’s table manners whenever she got enthusiastic about one thing or another.

“No,” she cheerfully informed me. “The Cutie Map summoned Applejack and Fluttershy for a Friendship Quest this morning. I wanted to prepare them as much as I could, so I did some research before they arrived.”

“Where are they going this time?” Trixie asked.

“A place called the Peaks of Peril.”

I raised an eyebrow. “For such an ominous name, you seem quite happy to dispatch them there.”

Twilight waved a dismissive hoof while the other dunked her spoon down into the bowl quickly. Today Twilight was using her hoof instead of her magic as part of a regimen to improve her dexterity. She had a long way to go. If this continued, Twilight would have to cast a cleaning spell on the table when she was done… and her dress… and Trixie… and me. “It’s just a name. Besides, it’s what Fluttershy tells me is there that is so fascinating.”

“Wait! You just said you had to research that place but Flutters already knows?” I asked.

Twilight blushed. “Remember when you joined us in Ponyville to get through your first heat? She told us then. Discord had taken Fluttershy to their village to foalsit for the mythical creatures. But because she made extraordinary claims without extraordinary evidence, I thought I knew better. When I zoomed in with the Map Table, Fluttershy recognized it right away.”

Twilight’s ears lowered onto her head. “Honestly, I should have put more trust in my friend. I apologized to Fluttershy for not believing her. I’ll do the same when I talk to Discord next.”

“Apology accepted!” yelled Twilight’s spoon a moment before it reached her mouth. The alicorn screamed and toppled backward onto the floor, her forelegs flailing. The silvery spoon hovered in place. It rotated towards me and folded onto itself, looking uncannily like a wink. With a flash, it disappeared.

I came over to help Twilight back onto her hooves. In her thrashing around, the rest of the soup ended up on her dress and the bowl on her head. I had to chuckle. “Twilight, you do realize that having that kind of comic reaction is just going to encourage him.”

My friend’s eyes went wide and she said “Shhhh!” with a hoof vertically across her lips.

“Too late, I heard!” said her suddenly animated bowl before dropping to the floor with a clatter.

Twilight actually growled at me and narrowed her eyes. I beat a hasty retreat back to my side of the table. My wife said, “Anyway, you were talking about this village that Applejack and Fluttershy are going to visit?”

I got a long glare before the alicorn continued. She took a moment to cast a cleaning spell on herself and the surroundings before taking her seat again. “A race called the kirin make that area their home.” Twilight’s bright smile returned. Nothing like the prospect of learning something new to raise her spirits. “That’s why I’m so excited! Applejack and Fluttershy will be interacting with a species that has long been regarded as a myth. Not only will we get to learn more about them, but it’s also possible that we’ll be able to add them to the many others that Equestria has allied with over the last year.”

“Hmmm…” I knitted my brow. “From what I can remember of the myths back where I come from, the kirin are powerful magic-users that look like a cross between a dragon and a horse. Naturally, what they look like here may be completely different. After all, we didn’t have green ponies with wings back there but we did have the legend of Pegasus, the winged horse.”

“The progenitor of the pegasus race after which they were named, you mean?” Twilight asked.

I gave the alicorn a sharp look. “You’re telling me that you know of a first? A mutant perhaps?”

Twilight shook her head. “Only legends passed down by song before the invention of writing.”

“I see. Still, my point stands.”

“Have you heard of nirik also?”

“No. What are they, besides kirin spelled backwards?”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Huh? So it is. I hadn’t noticed that. Anyway, they are supposed to be a dangerous race of beings of fire.”

“And Fluttershy still wants to go there without Discord to protect her?” Trixie asked pointedly.

“Well… the Cutie Map paired her with Applejack and I presume it knows what it’s doing.”

“I’m looking forward to hearing the results of this quest,” I said before Twilight’s replacement soup arrived and put a halt to the discussion. Because of her bad habit of talking with her mouth full, I wasn’t going to encourage it any further!

A few days later, we had a surprise visitor. Not only did Fluttershy and Applejack have a successful Friendship Mission, but they also brought along an informal ambassador of the kirin. As I suspected, she was a lot different from my memories of the legendary race while still retaining the basics. Autumn Blaze was about average pony size, had bifurcated hooves, green scales on her back and leathery nose ridge, leonine mane, and a slim tufted tail. She also had an intriguing branched horn with chevrons that glowed when she used her magic. Her stand-out feature though was her buoyant personality. She was exuberant almost to Pinkie Pie levels, entranced by every new thing she encountered.

It took a while but we eventually got the whole story about how our friends had encountered the kirin race hidden in a valley within the Peaks of Peril. Oh, and while the mountains had gotten their name due to the completely understandable danger of trying to cross over them, they had done an excellent job of protecting the kirin and their village from the hazards of the outside world. It was obvious why they were basically unknown away from their home too. However, Autumn Blaze was fascinated by the stories told by our friends and wanted to explore the world outside of her safe haven. Applejack and Fluttershy had been happy to oblige her.

So, Canterlot was currently host to its first kirin ever. We all got to hear about the problem that had taken our friends there and the successful resolution of it. Autumn Blaze demonstrated how she could turn into a nirik – really just an alternate form rather than another species – at will by manifesting her anger. If she wasn’t such an amiable being, I could see her being a formidable foe. No wonder her whole village had resorted to imposing speech and emotion dampening upon everyone. Any kirin that refused was shunned as a social outcast. Not really an ideal solution, especially when it came to kirin like Autumn Blaze.

A visit to the School of Friendship was especially eye-opening for her. She had never seen so many species all in one place. The journey to Ponyville had revealed a few to her, but the sheer variety among the students awed the kirin. I asked Cozy Glow to give Autumn a tour of the school facilities. The tiny mare agreed, but it seemed to me that her helpful manner was a trifle forced, barely hiding her impatience to get back to her other tasks. Weird. None of her letters to me had indicated that she wasn’t coping with her work. Now that I thought about it, she hadn’t sent me a letter for a couple of weeks now. Anyway, after the tour, Autumn was determined that there would be a kirin foal attending soon if she could persuade her village chief to agree. The Crusaders were disappointed to learn that kirin did not get cutie marks despite their resemblance to ponies. Can’t win ’em all, guys.

“Mark – can you do something about that greedy dragon?” Gallus grumbled.

I put down the document that I had been working on and stared at the young griffon with surprise. Not only was this the first time that Gallus had actively complained about something, but this was also the first occasion that he had come to my office other than when I was showing him around Canterlot castle. He knew better than to interrupt me while I was attending to my duties. Something must have been really bothering him.

“I assume we’re talking about Spike’s father?” Twilight had informed Trixie and me about the recent turn of events back at her castle. According to the dragon, he had lost Spike’s mother years ago and had only now tracked down his son. I figured that Spike would be busy catching up with a lifetime of events and I could indulge my curiosity on the weekend, so I had yet to meet the reptile in question.

“Yeah. I thought he was going to be cool like Smolder. And Spike.” I didn’t miss that hasty addition. My ward definitely had one dragon uppermost in his thoughts. I kept my face straight though as he continued. “Instead, he’s lazy and greedy. He took all the cupcakes that were supposed to be for me and my friends. He took the pillows out of my room. He’s always lying around doing nothing which wouldn’t bother me too much except he’s doing it in the throne room and hogging the living room. He’s got Spike waiting on him all the time. And I think he’s stealing stuff.”

“That’s a pretty serious accusation. Have you any proof?”

“No,” he admitted. “Twilight won’t let me check out his room. Something about valuing his privacy in these emotional times.”

I considered what Gallus said. I had to balance out what I knew of dragons in general versus the impressions of a teenager. I had promised myself that I would not be dismissive of my ward’s grievances though, and this demanded a bit of investigation. Fortunately, my paperwork wasn’t especially pressing. I got up and said, “Let’s go meet this dragon. What was his name again?”

“Sludge.”

I grimaced. Not the most inspiring of names. As we exited the office, I glanced at Penumbra who was standing at her usual spot outside and she raised an eyebrow questioningly. “We’re going to Ponyville to check out Twilight’s latest guest.”

The bat-pony smirked. “I figured that would happen sooner or later.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked as we headed to the daggerscale portal room.

“Just the scuttlebutt that I’ve heard from the Royal Guards stationed at Twilight’s castle.”

Hmm. Correlation in favor of Gallus already. I hoped we weren’t going to cause a shit-storm when we arrived.

I sighed. If anything, Gallus had been generous in his restraint. Frankly, if this was my castle, I likely would have trusted what my friends and guards told me and booted Sludge out on his rump ages ago, Spike’s dad or not. However, I was also beginning to doubt that relationship. Still, I couldn’t just start interrogating the dragon. He obviously had Twilight and Spike fooled and my suspicions would not be welcome. Nevertheless, there was something that I could do.

“So – you reckon that this isn’t typical dragon behavior, Smolder?”

“Nah. Dragons are rude and rebellious, but they aren’t lazy slobs who take advantage of their offspring.”

I nodded. “That’s what I figured. You and Gallus keep an eye on Sludge. I’m going to fetch our secret weapon.”

Gallus gave me a puzzled look. “Secret weapon?”

“You’ll see,” I replied with a grin.

Penny and I headed out. We took flight and made a beeline for Sweet Apple Acres. I figured that Applejack would be working the orchards at this time and I soon spotted her among the trees. I called out to her as I came in for a landing.

The mare gave me a mildly curious look. “Howdy, Mark. What brings y’all out here in the middle o’ the afternoon?”

“Looking for a favor, Applejack. Twi’s got a guest who has outstayed his welcome. Problem is – I need to convince Spike and Twilight of that.”

Applejack grimaced. “Ah’ve been hearing tales about that there dragon. Reckon it weren’t none of my business though. You got a problem with him?”

“Yeah, a big one. I don’t believe he’s really Spike’s father.”

The earth pony frowned. “Now that’s just plum wrong. Spike don’t deserve that.”

I nodded. “That’s why I want you to come and judge his veracity for yourself.”

“If those fancy words mean you want me to tell if he’s being honest, then Ah’m your mare. When do you wanna do this?”

“Can you spare a few minutes right now?”

“If’n you can take time from your royal duties for Spike, Ah reckon I can spare some too. Let’s go!”

She took off at a gallop that I could not hope to match, so Penny and I spread our wings to follow. We got to Twilight’s castle in next to no time. Despite not slowing a bit, Applejack wasn’t even breathing hard. I led her to the room where Sludge was still lounging on the sofa. We were just in time to see the glutton scoff down a huge pile of pastries that Spike had brought. I waited until the dragon’s mouth was empty before addressing him.

“Hey, Sludge. I’m Prince Mark Wells. Let me extend my welcome to Equestria.” Before he had the chance to do more than grin at me, I barreled on. “I’ve got somepony I’d like you to meet. This is Applejack. She’s a friend of mine who places a lot of store in family and she would love to hear your tale of your lost love and how you spent years searching for Spike’s egg.”

Sludge gave Applejack a smarmy grin. “The little lady likes that kind of story, hey? Well, settle down and I’ll tell you about the tragedy and loss of my wife and son. But first – Spike! Bring me another pitcher of cider!”

Eventually, Sludge started retelling his tale of how his wife went searching for treasure, leaving Spike’s egg in his care, and when she failed to return, he went searching for his lost love, only to be captured and have their egg stolen in the Land of the Scale Collectors. When he managed to escape a long time later, he went in search of his egg, only to find that it had been hatched and raised by ponies. When he was done, Applejack nodded thoughtfully.

“Well, Sludge, Ah gotta admit Ah’m impressed.”

The dragon beamed with satisfaction and I was startled. Was I mistaken?

Applejack continued. “In all mah life, Ah’ve never heard such a load of malarkey. Not a single word you spoke was the truth.”

“Told ya,” Smolder said smugly.

Spike looked devastated. “No! Why would he lie? You have to be wrong, Applejack.”

The mare shook her head. “Sorry, Spike. ’Fraid not.”

The young dragon was definitely in denial though and Sludge wasn’t about to give up.

“Don’t listen to them, son. They don’t know what dragons are really like.”

I snorted. Maybe not, but there was one who did. “Smolder – how about you educate Spike on how real dragon parents treat their children?”

“Anything to get this jerk outta here,” she agreed. She walked over to Spike and put an arm around his shoulder to lead him away. “Come with me, kiddo. I taught you to fly like a proper dragon – now let me tell you how a proper dragon values their family. And, believe me, it ain’t like him.”

As the bewildered young drake left with Smolder, I turned to frown at Sludge. “I’d suggest that you start packing your things but I suspect that none of them are yours. You better go before Twilight finds out how you’ve been lying to her little brother and mistreating him. You might escape with your tail intact.”

“You gonna make me, puny pony?” he growled.

Penny was by my side instantly but I switched to Marklestia and summoned all my magic. “On second thought, I’ll do it myself.”

Sludge was startled by my transformation and blinked in the glare of my burning horn and glowing eyes. For extra added effect, I arced bolts of lightning between my horn and both extended wingtips. He snarled and then dived for the open window.

I drew back my magic and resumed my normal form. I noticed Gallus gaping at me and I grinned. “Mission accomplished.”

“Wow! That was awesome.”

“Thanks, but you’re the real hero today.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because you saw a problem and made sure that something was done about it. Most youths your age would not have asked for help, either unwisely trying to tackle the issue themselves or just getting angry about it. Heaven knows how long that farce would have continued if Sludge hadn’t been confronted.”

“Mark’s right,” Applejack agreed. “Spike could have been seriously hurt if this had gone on too long. The little fella so badly wants to know who he is and he was plumb blind to what Sludge was doin’ to him. T’was a good thing that ya done caught it early.”

I nodded. “And I would not have known until I visited next weekend, so you alerting me helped a lot.”

Gallus blushed. “Nah – I just thought he was being a jerk.”

I ruffled his head feathers and grinned. “Whatever works. Anyhow, I have got to get back to the office. I’ll see you tonight for dinner. I’ll ask the chef to make something special for you. Bring Smolder along too. She’s been a big help.”

He grinned happily. “Sure thing, Mark.”

I thanked Applejack for helping expose Sludge and then headed off with Penny who grinned at me.

“You’re really on board with Smolder being Gallus’ marefriend now.”

I smirked. “Hey, I might be a bit dense sometimes, but I like the young dragoness and I think she and Gallus go well together. They’re a bit young yet to be too serious, but I won’t stand in their way if it becomes more.”

“Stand in their way? A moment ago, you invited her to come to dinner with Gallus. You’re actively shipping them!” she scoffed.

I poked out my tongue at her. “Just being a good father to my foster son is all.”

“S-u-u-re,” she drawled.

I hastily changed the subject. “So, when are you and Lightning Strike going to tie the knot?”

Penny promptly clammed up.

“Well?” I prompted.

“When she accepts my proposal,” she muttered.

I blinked and then grinned. I hadn’t thought that their relationship had gotten that far. “You’ve actually proposed? Why haven’t I heard about this yet?”

“Because we can’t agree on who is going to have a foal first and we don’t intend to make it official until we can.”

“Umm… since you’re both mares, who would you get to be the sire anyway?”

“That’s another thing we can’t agree on.”

“Well, you’ve got me curious. Do you want to go first or will Lightning be the mother? I can see your dedication to your job getting in the way.”

“I want a foal. It wouldn’t slow me down at all until a few weeks before it’s due. And thanks to all my friends in Canterlot, I’ll have no trouble getting foalsitters so I won’t be out of commission for long.”

“I see. You’ve been planning this for a while, haven’t you?”

“Since before I became your bodyguard. Finding the right partner has been the problem.”

“And Lightning disagrees?”

“She thinks I should concentrate on my duty to the Crown and she should have our foal.”

I shook my head. “Tell her to leave the Crown out of this. Being my bodyguard is a job, not a never-ending obligation. You have the right to live your own life and make your own choices regardless of my needs. Besides, you’re more than just my bodyguard; you are my friend. I’d never come between you two.”

She snorted. “As if I’d let you.”

“Fair point. Now, seeing as I’m your nosy friend – got a stallion in mind as a stud?”

She nodded. “Yes – a very good friend of mine.”

“That’s great. I’d like to—” My mind screeched to a halt, as did my hooves. I stared at her and she raised an eyebrow expectantly. “You don’t mean…?”

She nodded.

“Me?”

“You.”

“Why me?”

“Because no stallion has ever earned as much respect from me as you have. Because you put your heart and soul into everything you do. Because you are passionate about protecting Equestria and the ones whom you love. What more could I ask for in the future sire of my foal?”

I sat down hard on the cool crystal floor. “Trixie will have a fit.”

“Nah, Princess Trixie will be fine with the idea. You’ll see.”

“But… mating between us… you don’t care about the different status levels?”

She gave me a hard stare. “You of all ponies want to bring up those noble horse-apples and their attitudes?”

She was right. I might understand those elitist practices but I never agreed with them. However, the right of mares to ask any stallion to be their stud was a practical necessity. Be that as it may, I rarely thought about how it applied to me. Just when I thought I had gone completely pony, something like this came along and slapped me in the face to remind me that I was a human for many more years. And that was a potential sticking point.

“Penny – you do have the right to ask, but I can’t not be a part of the life of any foal that I sire. By law, I cannot demand that but, as your friend, I would expect nothing less.”

“I know. If it makes you feel better, when you took Gallus as your ward, I was thrilled. You showed that you could be a part-time father and today you demonstrated that you would be there when needed. I promise that if I ask you to sire a foal in me, you will have a part in their life.”

“And how does Lightning Strike feel about that?”

Penumbra chuckled. “She wouldn’t dare to ask one of the Triarchs to give us stud service.” She pulled a lollipop from her saddlebag and offered it to me. Having no idea if there was a deeper cultural meaning to accepting it, I shook my head. The thestral shrugged and put it in her mouth. Probably not then.

I snorted. “Tell her I’m just another stallion and she should be a big brave Royal Guard.” My conscience started to nag at me. Before Penny went through with this, there was a secret I had to reveal.

I cast an opaque privacy bubble around us. She raised both eyebrows and smiled. “What? Right here? Right now?”

I blinked. “No, no. Penny, there’s something—”

“Well, drat. So much for ‘Practice makes perfect’.” She waved a hoof. “Go on. Disappoint me further.” Her amused smile told me she was anything but crushed.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not even on heat at the moment!” I started again. “Look – there’s something you should know about me. You’ve been my bodyguard for over a year and placed your life on the line for me more times than I can count. It’s only right that I trust you with—”

Penny pulled the lollipop out of her mouth with a pop. I got the hint of mango wafting in the air. “Oh, you mean how your amnesia about your former life is a load of cow dung and you used to be a hee-you-mane?”

I must have stammered for a few seconds before my brain got back in gear. “Uh… It’s human, and how did you know?”

She snorted. “You’re not exactly subtle about recalling detailed information about your past. ‘The Legend of Pegasus’? ‘Kirin are powerful magic users’? And that’s just today. Add to that incautious comments from your friends, especially Rainbow Dash. I’d have to be deaf to not figure it out by now.”

I let out a breath. How many other guardsponies knew?

Penumbra grinned. “Nope. I’m good with how irreparably weird you are. It’s how you treat ponies and everybeing else that matters to me.” Her expression turned serious. “So – you’ll agree to being my stud when I ask? I promise it won’t be life-threatening, but not Pinkie Promise.”

I had to process that for a second. “Yes, on one condition. You have to ask in front of Trixie and she has to consent.”

“Deal!” She then startled me by leaning forward and kissing me. “If you’d been a mare, I would have married you.”

“Like when I’m Marklestia?”

She rolled her eyes. “You have no idea how tempting you were when roleplaying as Celestia. Still are.”

I decided to quit while I was ahead and dropped the privacy bubble. “Time to get back to work, Lieutenant Penumbra.”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

However, despite the formalities, I knew things were never going to be quite the same between us ever again.

Twilight convinced Trixie and me that Friendship Castle was the perfect location for the Council of Changeling Queens. The forewarned citizens of Ponyville didn’t spook at the sight of groups of bugponies flying overhead… with the possible exception of the Flower Sisters. Royal Guards kept the townsponies and occasional protester away. An unfortunate miscommunication resulted in paparazzi not being allowed to leave the train station. The Triarchy prepared a statement of apology along with the promise that the next regularly scheduled Council would be far more accommodating to the press. I was not certain if they knew that changeling queens met every twenty years.

Trixie and I joined Twilight and Thorax just outside the Map Room. All of us were wearing our best royal finery. From her bearing, I saw that Trixie was in full showpony-mode. For the meeting with two unknown dignitaries, she chose her midnight-black cloak and largest platinum crown. Twilight wore a sparkling translucent dress that shifted between green, red, and orange. That was a clever touch to emphasize her position as Hive Mother of the Crystal Hive. She wore the Element of Magic tiara, though with a replacement jewel since the original was back with the Tree of Harmony. Thorax got by with the jewelry gifted to him by Carpacia.

Only yesterday, Rarity finished a cloak for me to wear at the Council. As Marklestia, it reached down below my knees and hocks. If I changed to my stallion form, it would reach my fetlocks so it would always fit stylishly. The fashionista dyed the silk herself as evidenced by stains on her forehooves. The body of the garment showed two shades of royal purple with gold braiding accenting the edges. My emerald circlet crown rounded out the look and was a good reminder of the ties we had already forged with our allied changeling hives.

“Ready?” I asked.

Trixie answered by starting forward for the door. I put out a hoof to stop her. “Dear, this is Twilight and Thorax’s meeting. They have to enter first.”

My wife stopped. “Ah, quite right, Dowser. Well, to answer your question, Trixie is most anxious to begin the performance of a lifetime!”

I glanced over to see Twilight dancing on her tippy-hooves. “Oh, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” The chance to establish friendships with two more hives and further cement the bonds with two others? In hindsight, I should have expected this level of enthusiasm.

Thorax fidgeted a bit. He took a deep breath and raised his head proudly. He nodded. Too bad his limbs were still shaking enough to be noticed. I fervently hoped he would hold together. Regardless, I knew all three of us would stand by him.

The Element of Magic trotted forward, Thorax hustling to get to his wife’s side before her magic opened the doors fully. As we stepped into the Map Room, all conversation stopped. The four changeling queens had seated themselves at four of the thrones around the Map Table, leaving Twilight’s seat open and the Stone chair directly across from her which belonged to Pinkie Pie. Queen Apicula jerked her muzzle upwards slightly in a friendly greeting. Carpacia may have cracked a small smile, but it was difficult to tell with her. After nodding in acknowledgment to both rulers, my eyes were drawn to the newcomers.

Carpacia had refused to tell me anything useful about the other queens beyond a brief physical description so I could recognize them. Like all other unevolved changelings, Queen Polistae had the same deep-charcoal colored chitin as Chrysalis, but her mane was a vibrant blue done up in a bun and accented by her green crystalline crown. Rounded blue gems filled every void in her horn, neck, and legs, doubtless the work of years of crafting. This gave the effect of glowing eggs emerging from her body. To my eyes, at least, the look was striking and not at all creepy. She stared directly at me, ignoring the rest of the Equestrian royalty and the first Changeling King in existence. Her look made me wonder exactly how many ways she was judging me. I was now curious about the age of the Blue Hive sovereign and how much she knew about me.

Queen Sanguine Dreams was the perfect antipode. Her narrowed eyes and sparse armor glowed yellow, along with the stones of her necklace. She had a red mane and tail along with fins on the back of her head and ears of the same color. Spikes on her horn and belligerent frown made me guess hers was a changeling hive that emphasized combat much like Carpacia’s.

Twilight stood in front of her throne with her husband in front of Spike’s stone chair to her right. Trixie and I positioned ourselves to her left. The purple alicorn said, “Greetings, fellow Hive Mothers! On behalf of Princess Trixie and Prince Mark Wells, thank you for agreeing to meet with us. Before we begin the actual business of the Council of Queens, Equestria has a gift for all of you.” Her horn lit and four square, flat boxes levitated from her saddlebags and settled down in front of each queen. “Thanks to the knowledge shared with us by Apicula, my hive created these communication plates which can be used whenever you wish to contact us. I will assign a drone to monitor them at all times. While I could not determine a way to trace the location of the companion of the original plate design, that didn’t mean it would be impossible! These prototypes include magic storage and several layers of masking spells. The first configures a—”

Before Twilight could launch into full lecture-mode, my wife interrupted. “We know that the protection of your hive is every queen’s first responsibility. The Triarchs of Equestria hope these tokens will assure you of our willingness to help you should you ever find yourself in a time of need.”

I watched Carpacia lift the lid off of her box and levitate out a square plate the color of Trixie’s coat. The queen then lifted out a black metal stand and arranged for the plate to face her.

Twilight said, “The support framework grips onto the plate until it is manually removed. The stand also creates a protective field when anything approaches at a moderate or high speed. It will protect the communication plate from nearly all hazards.”

Queen Polistae said, “Thank you, Hive Mother. I will treasure this generous boon from your hive.” I noticed that she had not opened her package but her smile appeared to be genuine. Turning to me, she said, “If I could make a request, would you mind taking your natural form, Prince Mark Wells?”

Sanguine Dreams said, “Yes. The queens are in their native forms. Is it too much to expect the same of the Triarchs?”

Trixie frowned for a moment then said, “An excellent suggestion. Please do so, my dear.” Making the best of the situation, I suppose.

I shifted to my stallion form then said, “Of course. I meant no offense.”

“And none was taken,” said Apicula. She looked at Sanguine Dreams. “If you are satisfied now, may we start with the meeting proper?”

“No. We are missing one member of the Council, even if she is an embarrassment to all changelings.”

I turned to the door and called out, “Buried Spear, have the prisoner brought here.”

Less than a minute later, Crimson Boulder and Penumbra escorted Chrysalis into the Map Room. For her part, the deposed changeling queen positively beamed at her four counterparts as she sauntered over to the lone remaining throne. “Ahhh! My fellow rulers! Thank you for inviting the only queen with the ambition and confidence to break away from the old traditions. So good to see most of you again.”

Sanguine Dreams snorted. “You mean the only one to be stripped of her hive by the changes rocking Equestria.”

Chrysalis ignored her, instead nodding to Queen Apicula after she had settled into Pinkie’s throne. “My deepest condolences to you and your hive, Queen Apicula. Your mother was everything a changeling queen could hope to be. She was also my only friend. Thank you for taking your revenge on the cur that slew her.”

Apicula simply nodded, though I thought I saw some tears in her eyes.

Sanguine Dreams broke the uncomfortable silence. “Hive Mother Twilight Sparkle – the two guards will not be required. They have no place overhearing the business of the Council.”

I said, “The safety of the Councilmembers and Queen Chrysalis is my responsibility. As the hosts of this meeting, the Triarchs of Equestria have decided they will stay.” That earned me a stare from the red-maned queen but no further comment. Chrysalis smirked and lounged into her throne a bit more.

“I second the motion,” said Thorax.

“You have no business speaking here among queens,” snapped Sanguine Dreams. “Mind your place.”

“Don’t mind him,” said Chrysalis. “He’s always been a bit slow and unworthy of his responsibilities, even as a drone. For example, he doesn’t understand that until the meeting officially opens, no motions can be seconded.”

Thorax’s eyes opened wider. Before he could respond, my wife jumped into the conversation. “Hive Mother Twilight, would you call the Council to order?”

Twilight’s horn had been glowing slightly but that cut out when Trixie distracted her. After a deep breath, the alicorn cleared her throat. “Yes, thank you, Princess Trixie.” She looked over the table again. “This session of the Council of Changeling Queens is hereby called to order. As the first order of business, the Crystal Hive has an announcement to make.” She looked pointedly at her husband then shot a warning glare at Sanguine Dreams.

Thorax blinked. “Oh, yes. Umm… We’ve… The Crystal Hive received a request from the Crystal Hive of an alternate world. They have requested that Princess Trochanter of their realm immigrate to this world with a cadre of drones. They will take possession of the long-abandoned hive in the Crystal Empire.”

Queen Sanguine Dreams narrowed her eyes. “Not without the Council’s approval. This queen must petition us directly for permission to enter Equestrian territory.”

Polistae said, “I must reluctantly agree. Such decisions have always been under the authority of the Council.”

Thorax stood up straighter. “I’m sorry for the miscommunication.” Sanguine Dreams smiled until Thorax said his next words. “I was not asking for permission, I was simply informing all of you.”

“First of all, the Crystal Empire is not in Equestria. Second, the Crystal Hive never renounced its claim on its hive in the Crystal Empire. Lastly, we will deal with our territory however we see fit.

“Enough!” roared Sanguine Dreams. “It’s bad enough the Council is forced to accept this aberration of a Hive Mother among their ranks. I will no longer stand by as something that was never meant to exist defiles the sanctity of this Council!” I noticed Chrysalis was smiling openly as she watched the drama unfold.

Thorax’s legs stopped shivering. “Well then. Perhaps I was hasty in my judgment. I’ll tell you what.” He climbed up onto the Map Table. “If you can remove me from this table, then I will reverse my decision and allow the assembled queens to rule on this immigration.” He paused. “Or are you willing to back down and accept my authority?”

Trixie glanced at me and I nodded. Thorax was deliberately goading the changeling queen by not specifying exactly how much authority. If Sanguine Dreams capitulated, she could be seen as acknowledging his rule in all matters.

The changeling queen scoffed and flew up onto the opposite side of the table as her answer.

“Oh, and one more thing.” Thorax waved a hoof at Crimson and Penumbra. “There will be no magic used in this contest.”

Nullstone tracking bands flew over Chrysalis and wrapped around the horns of the two combatants. The improved design could be set to target and track a single individual, even in a roomful of horns.

Sanguine Dreams raised a hoof to the band and opened her mouth, perhaps to make a protest. Thorax was already moving towards the center of the table. “Begin when you are ready.”

With a snarl, the changeling queen trotted forward. At the same time, I heard my wife say, “I’ll take that bet.” I glanced over to see Carpacia and my wife nodding to each other.

Both combatants met at the center of the table and reared. Thorax easily blocked every kick of Sanguine Dreams forelegs. Occasionally, he got in a slap of a hoof across her muzzle.

The queen dropped to all fours and feinted a charge with her horn. Thorax likewise put all his hooves down and dodged a bit to his right. Sanguine Dreams spun quickly and lashed out with a powerful buck with both hind legs. However, the changeling king had already reversed direction to the left, and the blow whooshed by close to his side, passing through the space where he had been a moment earlier.

Thorax brought up his right foreleg, capturing a rear leg before it could hit the floor. When Sanguine Dreams instinctively brought her head up to view her trapped leg, Thorax smashed the base of her horn with his other forehoof.

In the second or so that the queen was stunned, Thorax ducked his head under her barrel and got his left foreleg over the queen’s neck and under her chin. Slowly, he bent the queen further and further backward until finally, with a curse, her legs left the table and her three remaining legs flailed in the air. Despite the queen’s struggles, the changeling king continued to pull her leg and head downwards until they met under his barrel. Very calmly, he said, “Do you yield?” At her continued attempts to get free, he said, “I don’t mind keeping you here all day.”

Sanguine Dreams’ curses turned into something like coughs and her movements slowed. After a short while, I realized she was laughing, or at least as much as someone can when they are being choked. “Ye… Yes, I yield.”

Thorax set her back on her hooves and she laughed freely in between grimaces. “Ah, fantastic! My back will be complaining for weeks!” She waved down to Carpacia. “Did you teach him all that? I never had a chance, did I?”

The other red changeling queen raised an eyebrow. “More than I gave you credit for. I bet Princess Trixie that you wouldn’t last thirty seconds. To answer your other question, the blocks and leg trap were taught by my hive. The horn strike and submission hold are pony techniques; I suspect learned from the earth pony stallion.” She nodded towards Crimson Boulder.

Sanguine Dreams smiled again. “Is that so? Splendid!” She clapped Thorax on a shoulder with a hoof. “My apologies to you, your wife, and your glorious hive. I simply had to find out what these new, evolved changelings were made of. I will speak to your Hive Mother about a convenient time for your services.”

I couldn’t tell if Thorax’s stunned expression came from her words and change of attitude or the fact that she flicked her tail in his face as she turned to climb off the table. It seemed some acts of flirtation crossed between species.

After Thorax had returned to his place next to his wife, he studiously ignored her penetrating stare.

Across the table, Sanguine Dreams chuckled as she looked at Chrysalis. “You are truly astonishing in your own way. Wrong to invade Canterlot, not once but twice. Wrong about ponies. Wrong about how to achieve and keep power. You are even wrong about your spawn. I can’t think of a single matter where you proved to be correct. You truly are a failure in every possible way.”

“We will see,” growled the deposed queen.

“Yes, we have,” said Sanguine Dreams, turning away.

Chrysalis seethed and ground her teeth for the remainder of the Council, but didn’t have much to say.

Tuesday mornings were reserved for magic lessons with Twilight. Despite everything that had happened since I had gained a useable horn, Trixie and I rarely missed a day. And I have to admit that it was paying off. I already knew more spells than the average unicorn and, while I’d never be anywhere near as good as Twilight, I took pride in the fact that once I mastered a spell, it became second-nature to me. My teacher was delighted with my progress and probably would have had me doing magic lessons all day if I didn’t gently but firmly remind her that we had other duties.

Trixie had been improving too. While she had once been a student at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns before dropping out, it was easy to see how she had qualified in the first place. However, although she’d had the talent, she did not have the dedication of her peers and succumbed to the lure of the road and showbiz. Twilight managed to keep her focused, unlike her original teachers, and my wife had to admit that it was benefitting her. She had already figured out several new ways to adapt spells to her shows. Oh well, you could take Trixie out of showbiz, but you couldn’t take showbiz out of her. She didn’t much like the homework though, but I could empathize with her there. I had more fun things to do with my wife in the evening.

However, Trixie was getting off easy today. She was assigned practice in transmutation and we were getting quite a collection of teacups. Each one varied in some way or another: size, color, texture, material, etc. Meanwhile, Twilight wanted me to try to learn a particularly tricky spell which, if I could master, might indicate if I was capable of learning how to teleport. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. She reckoned that I could learn that now. Doing it safely was an entirely different matter. After hearing some of the horror stories on ’ports that had gone wrong, I was quite prepared to postpone that lesson until I had the basics thoroughly drilled into me.

Earth ponies and pegasi probably think that complex spells involve a lot of mathematics and they would not be entirely wrong. However, an aptitude for languages was even more important. Why? Because a spell is basically an instruction for how you want mana to be focused and executed as magic. If you cannot properly phrase it, the spell is just so much garbage. Exactly like writing software, my previous profession. Sure – all the parameters and rules were different, but once I learned those, I was able to quickly comprehend how a spell was supposed to work. Executing it was another problem, but one that could normally be overcome through practice. A lot of practice. Oh, and just because I knew the rules didn’t mean that I was capable of doing every spell now. While keeping up the software analogy, just try to quickly comprehend a program that took many thousands of man-hours to write and debug! So, while many spells are a few lines of verse written into a book, they are only the trigger for the actual mechanics of the magic.

Today’s lesson was translocation – basically teleporting objects rather than oneself. It involved visualization of the target in four dimensions, adjusting for inertia, and calculating the energy requirements before executing the spell. Simple, right? Get one of those wrong and you could, for example, embed the object in another, have it shoot off like a bullet, or expend excess mana as an explosive burst. Tricky. You might think it was too difficult but, once again, it came down to talent and practice. Rainbow Dash pulled off extraordinary aerial maneuvers and sonic rainbooms because of her intimate understanding of how her flight magic worked, but she hadn’t gotten to that level of expertise without a ton of practice. And if you wanted to be good at magic, you had to keep working at it. While I could only spare one morning a week for magic school, I nevertheless took the opportunity in my spare time to practice new spells until I had them down pat. That was going to take a while with this one.

I frowned and poked my tongue out of the side of my mouth as I concentrated on the ball that I was holding up by levitation. The golden glow of my magic was rock-steady as I pictured the coordinates that I wished to send it to – the desk across the room. I visualized the structure of the translocation spell, applied the mana, and then executed.

The ball fell to the ground.

I blinked and wondered what went wrong.

“It’s okay, Mark,” Twilight said. “You built the spell correctly but failed to give it enough power.”

“I could have sworn I had. In fact, I was erring on the side of a little extra, if anything.”

The alicorn shrugged. “The results speak for themselves. Watch me once more and then you can try again.” She picked up the ball in her magic and cast her spell.

The ball fell to the ground.

We both stared at it and then at each other.

“Something is very wrong,” Twilight said with a frown.

“You can say that again,” Trixie said.

We looked over to where my wife had been working and beheld half a dozen things that only a pre-school foal would generously call a teacup. Or an ashtray. Or… something.

Now the alicorn looked worried. “Let me test something.” She picked up a top with her magic and set it spinning in midair. We used it for practice in applying rotational forces. Right now, Twilight was pushing it to spin faster and faster. Suddenly it dropped to the floor where it spun like any ordinary toy, oblivious to Twilight’s efforts to pick it up again with her magic.

She looked up at us. “This is a disaster. The ambient mana is virtually gone.”

“What about our inner mana stores?” Trixie asked. “We should still be able to cast our spells properly.”

“No, something is draining that too even as we use it. That’s what is making our spells fail.”

“What could be causing it?” I asked.

Twilight sat down hard on her rump and stared off into space. “I… haven’t the slightest idea.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Queen Polistae art and OC used with permission of Blissey1.
Art: https://derpibooru.org/images/1828223
Artist: Silfoe

Art and OC used with permission of Queen Sanguine Dreams
Art: https://derpibooru.org/images/1360689
Artist: The Minuscule Task/

Autumn Blaze art by JoeMasterPencil.

As always, if you would like to show your support of this story, you can send me a tip via Ko-Fi, or buy our books (see blog), or even just give us a thumbs-up and fave!

Oh! And "Off The Mark" the novel is a contender for the 2019 Ursa Major Award for Best Anthropomorphic Novel as well its cover art in the Best Anthropomorphic Published Illustration category. We would appreciate a vote. :twilightsheepish: And while you're there, MLP: FiM is a contender for the the Best Anthropomorphic Dramatic Series or Short Work.

Chapter 82 - Crisis

Well, this wasn’t achieving anything. I grabbed Twilight’s foreleg and started pulling her out of the room, catching Trixie’s eye and inclining my head to get her to follow.

“What are you doing, Mark?” the alicorn gasped as she stumbled along with me.

“We’re going to the Guild of Mages to see if we can figure out what’s going on. Trixie – I can foresee a lot of demands coming from the nobles who will want to know what’s happening. I suggest you head for the throne room to reassure them.”

“And what is Trixie going to tell them?” she asked with some exasperation.

“Tell them that their Triarchs are already looking into the situation and will keep them up to date with any new developments. If that doesn’t satisfy them, I’m sure that you can find some other way to handle the situation.”

My wife smirked. “Yes – Trixie can imagine a few.”

Some minutes later, I was beginning to regret not doing Trixie’s job and letting her take Twilight to the Guild. There are few things sadder than a room full of powerful unicorns who are suddenly helpless because they don’t know how to manage anything without using their magic. It didn’t take long for Twilight and me to realize that this was a dead end. We did learn that enchanted objects were still functioning although Twilight suspected that if the drain continued, they might fail too.

When Twilight and I got back to the throne room, we found my wife listening patiently to a shouting Lord Jet Set.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me clearly, Princess. I demand to know what the Triarchy is doing to fix the current crisis!”

Radiating calm and concern, Trixie said, “Trixie cannot disclose that information, my Lord. However, if it makes you feel any better, Trixie is now ordering the arrest of any pony that interferes with the Triarchs efforts to fix the situation.”

“No, I am not satisfied! You must inform—”

“Guards! That pony is preventing Trixie from performing our duties.”

I couldn’t suppress a snort. He really should have seen that coming. Twilight and I had stepped up to the throne by the time Jet Set’s yells of protest had faded away. My wife smiled at me then addressed the nobles. “Anypony else?”

To my surprise, one hoof rose hesitantly. I recognized Silver Dreams, Queen Apicula’s premier love gatherer and a hanger-on of Lady Opulent Affair who took every opportunity to undermine Trixie’s authority. Trixie said, “Yes, my little pony?”

“Is… is there anything we can do to help?”

My wife smiled. “Thank you, Silver Dreams. Trixie will return to inform the gallant nobility of Canterlot how they can best be of service to Equestria.”

She nodded to the Sergeant-at-Arms. The stallion called out, “Day Court is adjourned!”

Trixie motioned with her head and the three of us headed to the lounge closest to the Throne Room. I said to my wife, “I suspect you enjoy some parts of your job more than others.”

“All a part of protecting Equestria, Quark Smells.”

Waiting for us in the lounge room were Lyra Heartstrings and Rainbow Dash. As Dash wasn’t in Wonderbolt uniform, I assumed that this was one of her teaching days.

“Rainbow? Did something go wrong at the school? Is it about the magic failure?”

“You can say that again! We had taken a class to visit Cloudsdale with Lyra providing the cloud-walking spell. Then bam! Every student without wings starts falling! Poor Yona was terrified.”

“I gather you caught them? No being was hurt?”

“ ’Course not! Trixie told us what’s happening. Got any more news?” She grinned. “I’ll take the good news first.”

“Sorry, not really. The Guild of Mages is useless but Twilight assures me that Moonie will be working on the problem. Until we have an answer, I suggest that you tell Starlight Glimmer to suspend classes after advising the students of the issue.”

“Good idea. What about Discord? Do you think he might have a clue?”

I grimaced. “Tried that. He didn’t respond to my usual summons. Either the magic that allows him to hear it didn’t work or his power is failing like the unicorns’. Maybe both.”

“Trixie cannot imagine him not turning up amid all this chaos so she is leaning towards Discord having a magic shortage too.”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said. “I better head back to the school right away. There might be other problems brewing because of all this.”

Lyra said, “I don’t know how much I can do without my magic, but at least I can pass the word to Mayor Mare about the current situation.”

“Good idea,” Twilight said. “The citizens of Ponyville deserve to know that their Triarchs are working on the problem.”

After Rainbow and Lyra departed, the rest of us began discussing ideas in the hopes of inspiration.

“The only thing that I find remotely similar to what’s happening now is when Tirek was stealing everypony’s magic,” Twilight observed.

“Seems a bit of a stretch considering his modus operandi,” I said. “However, we’re desperate for answers and he might have some if we can pry them out of him.”

Trixie beckoned to a nearby Royal Guard who came over and saluted.

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Corporal, your Great and Powerful Princess needs information quickly. Inform the Captain of the Guard that the Triarchs orders a squad be sent immediately to Tartarus to check on Tirek’s status. Additionally, they should look for anything unusual that might be relevant to this crisis, then report back to us with due haste.”

“At once, Your Highness!” He departed promptly.

Trixie nodded with satisfaction. “Thankfully, with the daggerscale network, we now have the means to rapidly check every corner of Equestria in very little time. We should have a report soon.”

We resumed our discussion while we waited. However, a commotion at the door quickly got everypony’s attention. The guards held back a frantic evolved changeling which didn’t stop him from jumping up and down while waving one forehoof. “Hive Mother! Hive Mother! All of the communication plates are flashing! Even the one to your castle!”

Twilight, Trixie, and I sprang up and galloped after the changeling back to Twilight’s chambers. She always kept the plates close by and monitored although I didn’t know she also kept a pair employed to communicate with Friendship Castle. When we entered her room, I saw Twilight had arrayed the five plates in a wide arc across a large square table. The three of us came to a stop where we could all see the faces of each plate. Twilight had recovered enough magic to activate all five flashing plates at once. Of course, that meant all four queens and Moon Dancer began talking simultaneously the moment they appeared.

Twilight yelled, “Quiet!” Surprisingly, all of them did so. “Yes, the Triarchs are aware of the utmost danger this threat poses to you all. When a changeling is drained of all magic, it dies.” The alicorn turned to the leftmost plate. “Queen Carpacia – status, please.”

“Fifteen minutes ago, almost half the magic reserves in my drones were drained suddenly. The remainder is being sucked out at a slow rate. Our love vats are unaffected and consuming love recharges us normally, but with the continuing magic drain, the situation is untenable.”

Queen Apicula spoke next. “I have used my communication devices to order all drones to return to the hive where they will be podded. As theorized by your problem-solving teams, this greatly reduces the rate of magic loss.”

Queen Polistae asked, “Could Tirek have escaped Tartarus?”

Trixie said, “Unlikely. The guardspony report from yesterday included the correct passcode indicating nothing was amiss. Trixie expects confirmation soon.”

I turned to one of the Royal Guards. “Bright Beam, check on Queen Chrysalis.” The unicorn mare nodded and her horn sparked. With a disappointed sigh, she turned and galloped out of Twilight’s room. She almost collided with King Thorax coming the other way.

He trotted up to us. “I’ve ordered all of my drones to return to the hive.” He looked at Twilight. “Regis and his nanny have to leave with the other changeling princesses.”

Apicula said, “I will send my sister, Diadem. Your agreement with Dragon Lord Ember is still in effect, yes?”

“Yes,” I said. Glancing at Sanguine Dreams, I saw her confused expression. Queen Polistae, as always, looked perfectly relaxed and in control of the situation. I cleared my throat. “Equestria has a commitment from the Dragon Lands for them to shelter one princess from each hive in case of emergency. The daggerscale portals still work, for the moment. If you can get one of your princesses to the palace before—”

I paused. “Twilight? How long do you expect the portals to remain working?”

Moon Dancer answered. “Crispberry and I just started studying the continuing mana drain. As a rough guess, they will work for at least the next eighteen hours.”

Crispberry shoved Moon Dancer out of the way. “Hey! Queen-types! We need you to run an experiment.”

Twilight said, “Crispy? You’re still there? Get back to your hive so you can be safe!”

The drone lifted his ever-present lab goggles so he could stare at the alicorn. “Right when all the interesting science is happening? Are you mad?” He snapped his goggles back down. “Now then. Moon-face and I have an experiment to determine where the locus is for the magic suck. On my mark, I need everyling and Sparkles to lift their plate with the absolute minimum amount of magic necessary to do the job. Don’t draw on your reserves, we’re testing when the magic fails on its own. I’ll do the honors here. Moony will record the times. Call out your name when your magic cuts out. Ready? And…. mark!”

I saw the horns on every changeling queen light and the perspectives shown in their plates changed slightly. Crispberry’s plate fell almost immediately, soon followed by Twilight’s. One-by-one, the queens called out when their magic failed. Apicula’s must have been at the edge of a table because her drop was followed by much crashing and cursing. By the time she brought her plate back up to show her embarrassed face, most of us had the smirks wiped off of our faces.

In the plate to Friendship Castle, I saw Crispberry roll out a large map onto the Map Table. I thought to point out the irony of it but decided the situation was too dire. Besides, Apicula had already supplied the comic relief. The drone raised an opaque privacy bubble over the table, pulled a tape measure and clipboard out of his saddlebags, and then disappeared inside the barrier. He called out to Moon Dancer for the number of seconds before the Canterlot plate fell.

Everyone waited for a couple of minutes. “Well?” demanded Sanguine Dreams.

We heard Moon Dancer and Crispberry continue to discuss numbers between themselves. Finally, the shield dissipated and the pair approached the comm plate. The drone scientist said, “You’ll neeeeever guess the town at the epicenter of the latest threat to Equestria.”

Every pony and changeling chorused out, “Ponyville.”

“Right in one!” Crispberry beamed. “Because the Southern Wastes Hive delivers artifacts to every Equestrian hive, I am aware of their locations. The percentage of initial mana loss is directly proportional to each hive’s distance from Ponyville plus a constant. Thanks to that constant, even Ponyville still has some of its magic left.”

“Where in Ponyville, exactly?” asked Queen Polistae.

Crispberry shrugged. “Don’t ask where exactly – too few data points for that level of accuracy. Moon-mare and I will try running a few more tests and triangulating, but I don’t expect much. No, scratch that. We’ll try to estimate the rate of loss first. Better to know how much longer the remaining magic will last.”

I turned to the purple alicorn. “Twilight, would those spheres of magic you made in the Nightmare Dimension work here? Would they drift toward the source of the drain?”

In answer, Twilight created one of the clear bubbles above our heads. We stared at it for a moment as it stubbornly floated in place.

“I’m sorry, Mark. These are tuned to seek out magical interference. Maybe if we get closer to the source.”

That’s when I noticed somepony lurking at the back of the Map Room. “Cozy Glow? What are you doing there?”

The mare came up closer to the plate. “It’s Starlight Glimmer. She’s not in her office at school or anywhere I’ve looked in Friendship Castle! I can’t find anypony that has seen her since yesterday!”

Sanguine Dreams spoke up. “Isn’t she the unicorn who once tried to steal ponies’ cutie marks and later tried to eliminate Princess Twilight Sparkle by changing history?”

‘You’re extremely well informed,’ I thought to myself. There was no point in denying it. “Yes, she is.”

“I find it suspicious that she has gone absent at this time,” the changeling queen said with narrowed eyes.

Twilight scowled. “Starlight Glimmer has proven herself to be reformed and of good character. It was why I chose her to be headmare of my school.”

I added, “Besides, as she’s a unicorn, she would be affected by this power drain too.”

Sanguine Dreams said, “How do you know that? If she is responsible, she could also have a way of insulating herself from its effect.”

I frowned. “That is just paranoia speaking. Correlation is not causation.”

Carpacia said, “Perhaps, but her disappearance bears investigation nevertheless.”

That much I could agree with. “Cozy – I want you to organize search parties. Recruit students and teachers. Check everywhere both in and under the school. Also, check the town in case she’s left the grounds.”

“Yes, Your Highness! I’ll get on that right away!”

The tiny mare galloped out of the Map Room and Moon Dancer resumed her place at the communication plate. She was frowning for some reason.

“Anything wrong, Moonie?”

She slowly shook her head. “I’m not sure. Cozy Glow seemed more excited than scared.”

I nodded. “She’s most engaged when she has the chance to lead and strategize. It’s the nature of her cutie mark.”

“Very well. What’s our next move?”

Carpacia spoke up. “By the terms agreed to in our Mutual Defense Pact, I am formally requesting the Triarchy implement Code 76.”

“And I,” said Queen Apicula and Thorax together.

“Code 76? What is that?” asked Queen Sanguine Dreams.

I said, “Code 76 is the protocol for Equestria to protect a hive if Tirek or some creature like him drains magic from an area. A squadron of Equestrian troops armed with non-magical weapons takes over protection duties for a hive while an equal number of caretaker ponies are in charge of supplying love to the podded changelings.”

Sanguine Dreams pulled her head back and her nostrils flared. “No. We have away to deal with this crisis.”

That sounded familiar. “Ah, you mean hypnotizing a group of ponies to do the same tasks then wiping their memories once the emergency has passed, all so you can keep the location of your hive secret. Well, if that’s the only way you are willing to accept any help, then I suppose—”

“Wait,” interrupted Queen Polistae. “You would expect us to believe that you would authorize this treatment of the ponies you are sworn to protect?”

I leaned toward the plates showing Polistae and Sanguine Dreams. “What I expect is that you will do whatever you feel is necessary to protect your hives and all of your children. Keep in mind that entranced ponies can only do exactly what you told them to do. What happens if your hive floods? Or a quarray eel gets inside? Or there’s an attack by diamond dogs? If something novel happens, you will be defenseless.”

Trixie spoke up, a hint of annoyance in her voice. “Let Trixie remind your majesties that you both were only willing to sign a Treaty of Friendship at the Queen’s Council.” That was a development that pleased Twilight no end but stuck in the craw for both my wife and I. Neither queen had felt any need to do more than acquiesce to the most watered-down and symbolic of agreements with the pony kingdom in which they resided. At the time, there was no pressure to get them to commit even a single drone to further their ties with Equestria.

My wife continued. “The Triarchy of Equestria vows to provide a full contingent of soldiers and careponies only for the hives whose queens have signed the Mutual Defense Pact that we proposed at the Council. To do otherwise would put the ponies in our care at unacceptable risk.” I had played poker with my wife many times and even I couldn’t tell if she was bluffing. Belatedly, I figured that Sanguine Dreams and Polistae would be at even more of a disadvantage since they were not in the same room.

Twilight frowned and opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. “I agree with these conditions.” That caused our outvoted co-ruler to come up short and slowly close her mouth.

As Sanguine Dreams studied us, Polistae’s smile grew wider. “You have the sworn agreement of the White Tail Woods Hive. I will have the portal with identification mark Y37 moved to our north entrance within the hour.”

All three Triarchs stared at Sanguine Dreams until finally, she spoke. “The Hollow Shades Hive pledges our fortunes and shared defense with the Kingdom of Equestria. Portal KJ13 will be in our main chamber forty minutes from now. You have my word that your ponies will be treated as our honored guests.”

I turned to the door and was unsurprised to see General Crushing Blow and Chief Nurse Cherish Blossom standing in the hallway. “Both of you need to expand your Code 76 teams to cover two more hives. And do so within eighteen hours. We can’t be certain the portals will last longer than that. Nurse Cherish, ask the nobles waiting in the throne room if any want to assist. General, after the teams leave, open the portals to the Dragon Lands for the hive princesses to get to safety.”

“As you wish, Your Highness,” said Cherish Blossom.

The towering guardspony said, “Your Highnesses, that will be our only opportunity to get Torch to come to Equestria. Shall I use the largest portals? Do you want him here?”

I looked between Trixie and Twilight. The purple mare said, “I… I don’t think so. Yes, this could be the first step to an invasion, but we haven’t seen any evidence to support that theory.”

“Trixie agrees.” My wife turned to the General. “Equestria will not call on the former Dragon Lord’s services, General.”

Crushing Blow bowed. “By your leave.” With that, she galloped down the hallway along with Cherish Blossom.

Before we could resume our summit meeting, Bright Beam burst into the room and gave us a quick salute. “Your Highnesses, Queen Chrysalis has encased herself in a pod already. The dungeon guards witnessed her doing so and were unsure of her motives so they brought in reinforcements. However, they were obviously not needed.”

I nodded. “Good – she had the right idea. Arrange to have her pod taken to the Crystal Hive.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “What?! Why would we do that?”

I faced the upset alicorn. “Twi, she’s the Crown’s prisoner and her protection is our responsibility. We cannot allow her to starve to death while in our care. Besides, as Princess of Friendship, don’t you think we should show her some kindness and generosity in this dire situation?”

Twilight cast her eyes down, her ears flattening. “I’m sorry, Mark. That is the right thing to do even if I’m not happy about it.”

I gave her a wing hug. “Preaching to the choir, Sparkles.” I looked over to Bright Beam. “You have your orders.”

The unicorn mare saluted again, turned smartly, and hastened to obey.

“If you’re all finished agonizing over the fate of Chrysalis, we have some news,” came Moon Dancer’s sarcastic voice from the comm plate. Understandably, she didn’t much care what happened to the changeling queen.

“Speak!” Trixie ordered.

“While you’ve been discussing other matters, we’ve been running a quick experiment to measure the magic loss.”

Twilight’s ears perked up. “What have you learned?”

“Bearing in mind that these are only initial assessments based on a small sample over a brief period, I estimate that approximately 65% of magic was lost in an initial quick surge but the rate of loss has slowed down to a steady drain. Higher spellworking such as that done by unicorns is most vulnerable which is why the effects were first noticed by them, not to mention changelings for which magic is literally a vital necessity.”

‘Which makes me distressed that you aren’t evacuating too,’ I thought to myself.

“By the end of the day, no unicorn, changeling, kirin, or even alicorn will be able to cast the smallest of spells.”

“What about innate magical abilities?” Twilight asked.

“Judging by the way it’s affecting your castle guards, those will be the next to go. Pegasi will lose the ability to fly and manipulate clouds and earth ponies their strength and power over plants. Changelings who are not in pods will start to die.”

“And how long before all the magic is gone?” Trixie asked.

“Three days tops. More like two and a half. By the third day, even our enchanted objects will fail. And if all magic is drained, then the damage will be irreversible. Unlike Tirek who merely drained the magic from sapient beings, this affects all magic in all things. We need to find the cause and we need to find it now.”

Twilight asked, “Can you narrow down the source of the drain?”

“Not yet, but I’m working on it,” Moon Dancer replied.

Before anyone could say anything else, there was a rapping on the door. Penny investigated and then admitted a pegasus Royal Guard who saluted.

“I got back here as fast as I could, Your Highnesses. The rest of the squad is still in Tartarus looking for more clues.”

“What did you find out, Easy Breeze?” Twilight asked.

“Tirek is still caged but he’s acting suspiciously. He kept grinning at us for no apparent reason. When questioned, he said he might know something but he’d only speak when all the Triarchs and Element Bearers were present.”

“Does anypony else have the word ‘trap’ screaming in their heads right now?” I asked.

Everyone held their hooves up, including the images of all the queens on their communication plates.

“Thought so. Tirek knows something alright, but he’s got no incentive to tell us. Did you find out anything useful while you were there, Easy Breeze?”

The mare nodded. “Yes. There were several muffin wrappers on the ground. When we asked Tirek about them, he said the mailmare must have dropped them.”

“Tirek gets mail?” I blurted out.

“Surprised us too. All Tirek said though was that he was bored and he was exchanging letters with a pen pal.”

My wife muttered, “Somepony’s head is going to roll when Trixie finds out how this failure of security occurred.”

“Does any being know who this mailmare is?” Carpacia asked.

I addressed the room. “Which mare do we know who would be naïve enough to deliver to Tartarus, eats muffins, and happens to live in Ponyville, the epicenter of the problem?”

“Derpy!” chorused everyone in the room including our bodyguards.

“We need to talk to her,” I told Easy Breeze.

“I’ll get right on it, sir,” she replied. She then saluted and left the room.

While we waited for Easy Breeze to return, we spent the time working out the fastest way to implement Equestria’s emergency measures and bringing our two newest allies up to speed on the finer details of Code 76 plans. While many ponies could get along without magic for a little while, without mana to sustain many aspects of normal life, Equestrian society was going to descend into chaos if efforts weren’t made to forestall it. Cloudsdale would have to be evacuated and warnings sent out to all the pegasi who lived in cloud homes. Without their flight magic, pegasi could plunge to their doom as their tenuous constructs failed to support them anymore. Less obvious dangers were everyday practices by the other races. For example, earth pony construction workers who routinely handled very heavy materials with their enormous strength might find themselves crushed as their enhanced fortitude failed them.

Eventually, Easy Breeze returned with a puzzled gray mare in tow. As soon as Derpy saw me, she gave me her usual cheery smile.

“Hi, Mark. You wanted to see me? Are you missing a parcel? You’ll have to check with the post office first.”

“Nothing like that, Derpy. I’m afraid this is serious royal business. Have you been delivering mail to Tirek in Tartarus?”

“Of course! The Royal Equestrian Mail Service delivers everywhere.”

Twilight sputtered. “But it’s Tartarus! How did you even get in there? Entry to that place is strictly controlled.”

Derpy giggled. “Don’t be silly, Princess. If a letter is correctly addressed and postage paid, then REMS will deliver it.”

The purple alicorn face-hoofed. “That’s not what I meant, Derpy. You can’t just walk or fly into that place.”

Before Derpy could further boggle everyone, I interrupted. “That’s not important now. What we need to know is how often you’ve delivered letters to Tirek, who sent them, and did he send letters back?”

One of Derpy’s eyes looked up to the ceiling thoughtfully while the other wandered around. “Hmm. I’d say that Tirek has been getting mail for about six months now.”

“From whom?” Trixie demanded.

The gray mare shook her head. “That is strictly confidential information. By law, we of the Royal Equestrian Mail Service are required to maintain the privacy of those who utilize said service.”

Trixie, Twilight, and I winced. Then a glance of understanding passed between us and we nodded.

Trixie imperiously stated, “By unanimous royal decree, that provision is temporarily suspended in the interests of national security. Please inform us of the recipient of Tirek’s mail.”

Derpy tilted her head, considered what Trixie said for a moment, then opened up her mailbag and pulled out her favorite treat. “Would you like a muffin instead? I really shouldn’t tell you. It’s not right.”

I groaned and my co-rulers looked ready to pull their manes out. Behind us, I heard one of the queens say, “This is a waste of time.”

I said, “This is a national emergency, Derpy. Ponies may die if we cannot find what is causing the loss of magic.”

Derpy munched thoughtfully on her muffin for a moment before coming to a decision. “The letters don’t have return addresses on them, and I don’t sort the mail so I don’t know who posted them.”

Trixie ground her teeth. “But surely Tirek responds to them! Who are they addressed to?”

The mailmare looked a little startled. “Oh! Of course. They go to Nom De Plume at the School of Friendship,” she replied proudly.

I face-hoofed this time. “Derpy – ‘nom de plume’ means ‘pen name’. It’s not a real pony’s name. Do you have any idea who this pony is?”

She shook her head. “All mail delivered to the school goes into the one mailbox to be sorted by the staff.”

“I wonder which of the staff that would be?” Carpacia said sarcastically.

“Still only circumstantial evidence!” I barked back irritably.

Twilight said, “Maybe Cozy Glow can help us there? As Assistant Headmare, she should have her hoof on most things happening at the school. She used to bring the mail to me each day when she started but she would have had to delegate that job to concentrate on more important things.”

I said, “We’ve got to interrogate Tirek about these letters and query Cozy about the mail going to the school. However, she’s probably busy with the search for Starlight right now.”

My wife spoke up. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and King Thorax will have their hooves full with the changeling situation. My husband needs to pursue the investigation of both the mail and Starlight Glimmer’s whereabouts. It is up to Trixie to visit Tartarus to interrogate Tirek.”

I said, “Do you think you can make him talk?”

“I will wear my Number One Show-cloak. The experience of witnessing the Most Dazzling Show On Hooves will doubtless convince the centaur to talk.” Trixie smiled. “Also, the Great and Cunning Trixie will have a secret weapon.”

“And that is…?” I prompted.

“Have you ever been cornered into a conversation with Pinkie Pie when you couldn’t get away?”

I shuddered. “That’s borderline torture.”

Trixie smiled tightly. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

I said, “If it wasn’t too dangerous for them to stay unpodded for too long, I’d have changeling volunteers take our place. If Tirek supposedly got his wish to talk with all the Bearers and Triarchs, he might reveal what he knows. Meanwhile, we would be free to act still.”

“Wouldn’t that be risky for them?”

“Very. But I suspect that he might just want to get us out of the way until we have no magic to overcome his trap, whatever it is.”

Carpacia spoke up. “I like this plan. My drones attached to the Royal Guard will join Princess Trixie and Pinkie Pie.”

Twilight gasped. “What will happen if they run out of magic while they are in Tartarus?”

Carpacia smiled smugly. “Do not presume that you know all our secrets yet, Crystal Hive Mother. They will be sustained long enough to accomplish their mission.”

The alicorn slowly nodded. “I don’t like it but we have no choice.”

A thought suddenly occurred to me. “Wait! Speaking of days, if you and the entire Guild of Mages can’t use your magic, how are you going to set the sun and raise it again in the morning?”

The alicorn gave me a glum look. “Simple – we can’t.”

“Then what’s going to happen to the sun?”

“It will hang near the horizon until it’s moved.”

I felt relieved. “Phew! While it isn’t ideal, at least that’s one disaster averted.”

Twilight looked nervous. “Not quite.”

I gave her a sharp look. “What do you mean by that?”

“While the sun won’t go much lower, it will continue drifting further away. If it goes too far, eternal winter will set in. The need for the sun to be close enough to warm our world is why its rising and setting needs to be controlled. It won’t orbit close enough naturally on its own.”

The fact that a tiny star orbited a planet in this universe instead of the other way around still boggled me. Right now though, all it did was add to my concerns. Equestria was screwed one way or another if we didn’t sort this out soon.

After the changeling queens shut down their end of the communication plates to attend to their emergency preparations, Twilight left with Thorax to deal with their hive and the Canterlot changelings under their protection. She would later meet up with the rest of the Element Bearers at her castle. Seven armored Royal Guards entered the suite and saluted Trixie in perfect synchronization. Some of them were in pony guise but a few showed their natural selves. Whether this was how they normally did their duty, we did not ask. It was part of the agreement that we had with Queen Carpacia – she put them under our direct authority with the proviso that we used them in good faith.

At a nod from my wife, they removed their armor, placing it in a pile on the floor. Soon, duplicates of the Elements of Harmony (complete with simulated jewelry) and myself were standing at attention before us. Trixie rolled her eyes. “At ease, soldiers. Try to act like the ponies you look like.”

The group did so, with the six mares chatting happily. My clone walked up to my wife with a smirk on his face. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning another eye roll.

“Hardly convincing. My husband is more prone to action than teasing. Still, Trixie shall consider you a work in progress."

As she turned to leave, I held up a hoof. “Wait. Wasn’t Pinkie Pie, uh, the real one supposed to accompany you?”

An agonized scream tore through the room and I jumped. All of the disguised changelings fell into identical Royal Guard ready stances.

Heart pounding in my ears, I turned behind me to see a pink foreleg shoot out of the pile of armor, scattering pieces left and right. Another foreleg appeared, similarly clad in gold-plated shin guards. With a continuing yell, a fully-armored Pinkie Pie climbed off the hill of helmets, breastplates, and greaves. The scene reminded me of a John Romero movie—so much so that I did a double-take to make sure the Element of Laughter hadn’t turned into a zombie.

When free of the pile, Pinkie gave her biggest grin and pronked noisily around the room. She clapped her counterpart changeling on the shoulder. “Thanks, Sawfly! I’ve got it from here!” She smiled at the remaining ‘Elements.’ “And the rest of you need to stop reacting to every surprise like a soldier guarding a princess, even though you totally are!” With a tumultuous clatter, she bounced out the door. “Time to deliver a centaur party!”

I briefly wondered if Pinkie would stop doing impossible things if she lost all her magic, then decided it was slightly preferable never to find out.

My wife gave me a parting kiss and left in the company of a facsimile of me by her side, along with doppelgangers of Twilight and the rest of the Element Bearers. Trixie would requisition a squad of normal Royal Guards who would be unaware of the nature of her companions and therefore not inadvertently give away the fact that they weren’t the real deal. As for me, I headed for the throne room.

Sawfly fidgeted a bit before saying aloud, “How did she know my name?” He shook his head before resuming his red changeling form and picking through the spread-out armor pieces. “And how did she know which armor pieces were mine?”

I said, “I advise you to just not think about it, soldier.”

He shivered. “Yes, sir. I hope I can do that.”

I nodded sympathetically. I knew the feeling.

A few minutes later, I entered the throne room to find Silver Dreams praising the remaining two dozen or so nobles for their willingness to help in this time of Equestria’s need. Belatedly, I recognized the tremendous personal risk that the disguised changeling was taking. If her magic ran out, she would die like any other member of her race. Also, she was ignoring her queen’s order to return to the hive. I updated her and those still present on what we had learned. I put Silver in charge of organizing emergency relief efforts for unicorns that found themselves in trouble due to the absence of their magic. I cautioned her that pegasi might soon be in the same predicament, followed by earth ponies. I subtly stressed the danger to changelings, knowing her true nature. She assured me that she could handle the situation. Hopefully, she was right about that. I certainly didn’t know any better yet.

I left Canterlot for Ponyville with both Penumbra and Crimson accompanying me. I didn’t even try to argue when they double-teamed me. Sometimes the situation was too dire to warrant anything less. Besides, I thought I might need somepony whom I could explicitly trust to act on my behalf, and neither would leave me unattended if they were acting by themselves alone. I immediately headed for the School of Friendship to try to find Cozy Glow and get an update on the situation there. I found the place abuzz with excitement with teams of teachers and students searching every nook and cranny for Starlight Glimmer. What I did not find was Cozy.

With neither her nor Starlight to question, I had no idea how I could go about tracing the letters that had been sent to “Nom-de-Plume” at the school. None of the other teachers whom I asked were aware of how the mail was handled. It was when I started getting desperate and asking the students that I noticed that I hadn’t seen Gallus anywhere. His friends too, for that matter. I turned to face my guardsponies once we reached the school courtyard.

“Perhaps they are searching the town for Starlight?” Crimson suggested.

I nodded. “That’s quite possible. As a resident of Ponyville, Sandbar would be familiar with some of the more obscure places. Still, I don’t like the thought of Gallus or the others being out under these circumstances. Despite what I said to Cozy earlier, all the students should confine themselves to their dorms for now. We have enough to concern ourselves with at the moment without worrying about the welfare of the younglings in the school’s care.”

“But that’s Starlight’s or Cozy’s responsibility,” Penny pointed out.

I sighed. “And we can’t seem to find either.” I came to a decision. “I’m going to head into town to see if I can find Gallus, his friends, or perhaps even Cozy. She might have decided to check Ponyville once the school search was fruitless. However, if she’s still here, I need her to meet up with me as soon as possible. Crimson, you stay here and watch out for Cozy Glow while Penny accompanies me.”

Penumbra and I headed out of the school and were just passing by Twilight’s castle when I felt a familiar tingling in my hindquarters. I stopped and turned to look at myself and saw my cutie mark flashing. A Friendship Problem now? Either this was related to our present predicament or the most massively ill-timed event ever. We altered course and galloped to the Map Room.

I stared at the sight of my cutie mark hovering over the Map Table like the first time it had called me. And just like that time, it was sending me back to where I’d just come from!

“The Friendship Problem is in the School of Friendship,” Penny said.

“I can see that,” I replied with some asperity. “Like I didn’t already know we have a problem there.”

“It’s a bit vague, isn’t it?”

“Twilight has the knack of getting it to focus down to someplace more specific. I’ve never gotten the hang of it even though she’s told me how. Not that I’ve had many opportunities to practice with an ongoing event.”

“Well, maybe if you wait long enough, you’ll have a better chance than right now.”

I gave Penny a dirty look but had to admit that she was right. I concentrated on the image and tried to project my intentions as Twilight had taught me, but for a long minute or so, nothing happened. I growled and shouted, “For buck’s sake! Show me where you want me to go!”

Abruptly, the view zoomed in on the school. It filled the whole table and continued to close in on the library wing. Then it appeared to pass through the walls and I could see the rows of bookshelves. Right in the middle was a grate in the floor which I realized was what Gallus had told me led to the crystal caverns underneath. I blinked in surprise.

“Wow! I don’t think it’s ever gotten that specific for anypony before.”

Penny chuckled. “You had to show it who’s the boss first.” Her lips pulled back and I could see her fangs. “Good thing it listens better than me.”

“Whatever. We’re heading back to the school. I think we’re going to find our answers there.”

We retraced our steps and found Crimson. After informing him where we were headed, he frowned and said, “I’ve been asking every creature about Cozy’s whereabouts and no one knows. Some students suggested she was underground but the teachers were checking that out. However, one of the professors told me that a team of students had been sent. I haven’t been able to get a definitive answer.”

I said, “That would make sense. Gallus and his friends are the ones most familiar with the caves under the school. We’ll have to find out for ourselves, I suppose.”

Penny and I made a beeline for the library. Unlike the image in the Map Table, the grate was closed. Had someone put it back or was the image I saw Harmony’s way of telling me where to go? We made our way down and I looked around. I knew to expect the crystal-lined tunnels as Gallus had described them to me, but they were still impressive. Despite the lack of any kind of lamp, there was adequate illumination due to a soft glow coming from the crystal itself and we could see our way as we headed downslope. There were a few side passages that opened up into caves, one of which had a small lake in it. Nothing else of interest was in any of them though, so we continued further.

“Do you hear that?” Penny asked.

Now that she had pointed it out, I became aware of a low buzzing hum. “It’s coming from straight ahead. Looks like it’s a bit brighter there too. Could be what we’ve been looking for.”

After a short bend in the tunnel, it abruptly opened up into a large cavern. We walked up to what turned out to be a balcony wall and gaped at what half-filled the enormous volume. On the floor below, a gigantic circular rune glowed. Six objects hovered equally spaced above its perimeter surrounded by blue spheres of energy that were shooting beams into a coruscating sphere of raw mana. But it was what was within that sphere that made me gasp. Gallus and his friends were all trapped within, not to mention our missing headmare. When they spotted us, they all started gesticulating wildly but we couldn’t hear a word that they were saying.

“This has got to be the source of the magic drain,” Penny said.

“Yeah, I can feel it tugging on my mana stores. Gallus and his comrades must have decided to check this place out and found Starlight in there.” I looked around and saw a passage down to the floor and headed that way. “But how did they get trapped inside?”

“I have a better question,” Penny said as she took the lead to look for danger. “How didn’t word get back to anypony about this?”

The answer hit me like a ton of bricks. “Oh, buck! Cozy already knows!”

A beam of magic force came from behind me and struck Penumbra. She crashed into the crystal wall and went limp. I whirled to face our attacker, switching to Marklestia form and raising my shield. Through the bubble, I got a glimpse of Cozy Glow, not so small anymore and wearing a large green bell around her neck. And she had a horn! A beam shot out from the bell, hitting my shield and then myself as the bubble collapsed. My stomach hurt with the same empty sensation I experienced when Tirek sucked out all my magic. I stumbled onto my knees, overcome with fatigue. Once again I was in my stallion form.

In front of me, a smiling Cozy Glow spread her wings and angled the cracked bell upwards. This time magic flowed out of the artifact to strike the mare on the jaw. She grew slightly, now an even taller alicorn than Twilight. “Ahhhh! Thanks for all your magic! I needed a pick-me-up.”

Her smile turned nasty as she aimed her horn at me. It glowed red and a beam shot out, slamming into me as if I had flown into a brick wall. As my consciousness faded, I heard Cozy laugh.

“That’s what I like about you, Prince Mark – so clever and yet just as gullible as all the rest.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Cozy finally shows her true colors. And isn't that bell familiar?

Thank you to those people who have donated to my Ko-fi account. If you have been enjoying this story, please consider dropping in a few bucks.

Chapter 84 - Responsibilities And Repercussions

My wife and I headed towards the far chamber where the majority of the battle with the alicorn version of Cozy Glow had taken place. Crimson had galloped ahead of us to check on the condition of the guardsponies that had fallen.

“Trixie, my love, would you please explain to me again exactly how you earned your wings? Twilight had to complete a spell that remained unfinished for over a millennium. Based on the collection of spell-books in her private chambers, no pony has ever known more about magic than Celestia, and she couldn’t do it. Frankly, Twilight achieved the impossible. I became a pegacorn only after half the magic in Equestria flowed through me. While you… outwrestled a pegasus with dwarfism. Am I getting that right, dear?”

Trixie turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “You are one to talk. Let’s discuss your ascent to alicornhood, shall we? You failed to outwrestle that same pegasus mare and spent half your time gallivanting back and forth between two rooms underground. Hardly the stuff to be passed down in legend and song for generations.” My wife smiled sweetly. “Am I getting that right, dear?”

Penumbra laughed at us, definitely not with us, and she got more amusement from my wife’s verbal jabs than mine. Some things never change. Frankly, I expected my bodyguard to have a bag of popcorn in hoof to enjoy the show, courtesy of Pinkie Pie. Speaking of whom, where was she?

Looking ahead, I spotted the normally effervescent pony trudging toward us, her mane and tail limp and falling like rain. I halted in my tracks and held out a hoof to stop Trixie as well.

The pink mare fell on her haunches and looked up at us with tears spilling down her cheeks. “All of the changeling guards are dead.”

I heard my wife gasp and Penumbra growl. Six deaths at the hooves of the mare that impressed me so much at Day Court. Possibly more caused by the magic drain throughout Equestria.

My eyes shot open at a sudden thought. “Pinkie, find Sawfly. He needs someone to keep up his spirits.”

Her mane regained some of its poofiness and Pinkie saluted. “Oui, mon capitan! Je suis le meilleur bouffon!” Pinkie bounded past us.

Trixie glanced at me, cocked her head, and waited. I said, “Sawfly is the last surviving member of his Red Changeling squad. He was replaced by the real Pinkie at the last minute.” My wife made the “Oh” shape with her lips.

Crimson jogged up and motioned for us to turn around and follow him. “Two ponies are dead. None of the other injuries are life-threatening but we’ll need stretchers or unicorns to carry them out. I’ll arrange for it topside.”

I shuddered and Trixie leaned up against me; more deaths to add to Cozy’s list of crimes.

The four of us were more subdued during our walk back to the cave entrance under the library. We all put on our professional happy faces when we caught up with the six students who had saved Equestria. Silently, the adults agreed there was no reason to bring them down with the news, letting the friends bask in their moment of greatness.

After sending word back to Canterlot to inform everypony that the situation had been resolved, we joined Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy in the Friendship Castle dining room for lunch. Dash explained that Rarity had been detained by needing to visit the hospital. Upon my concerned inquiry, she replied, “Rarity was levitating something heavy when her magic failed and got her leg messed up when it fell. I looked it over and said it wasn’t too bad but she wanted a doctor to have a look at it. You’d think she’d trust me about self-inflicted injuries by now. All my high-speed crashes make me the Ponyville expert!” I just rolled my eyes. Trust Rainbow to turn this into a competition between herself and the doctors at Ponyville Hospital.

The rest of the Element Bearers had been searching Ponyville for Starlight and Cozy, only returning to the castle when everything had returned to normal. Spike had his now-permanent kitchen staff busy slicing, broiling, baking, and sautéing up a storm… again! The first round was for the victorious teenagers who were humble but soaked up the adulation all the same. They had retired back to their school dorms, signaling the end of one raucous party and the start of a sober one.

By this time, Rarity had arrived, her right foreleg bandaged but not causing any visible discomfort. I nuzzled her and asked, “How’s the leg?”

“It’s fine, darling. I’ll tell you about it later. More importantly, what has happened while I was otherwise detained?”

We brought her up to speed about Cozy Glow and the Student Six as they had begun to call themselves. By mutual agreement, the adults had held off on having more than punch and hors d'oeuvres while we waited for our missing members. Not that any of us had an appetite. Instead, we sat moping at the dining room table, nopony willing to make small talk.

Starlight came in with Twilight, who looked haggard beyond her years. When Rarity went to pour the alicorn a glass of an especially fine vintage of Prench wine, Twilight magicked the bottle out of her hoof and chugged straight from the bottle. Thorax came up beside her, changing into the form of the male Marklestia who visited some months ago. He wrapped a wing around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. Even this calculated distraction didn’t get a response out of his wife beyond leaning into him a little.

Thorax gave her a loving nuzzle. “Don’t bottle it up. Just let it out, dear.” Curious choice of words and Twilight responded with another chug of wine before replying.

“I’m just so… naïve. I always see the best in everypony. I should have known this would happen. It’s my job to make sure this doesn’t happen.”

The sound of a cannon went off behind me and I flinched. Confetti fell like rain over the table, making me glad the first course had not arrived.

From above my head, I heard. “Awww, don’t be such a gloomy goof! We’ve got e-v-e-r-y reason to have a party!” Pinkie Pie looked down from her perch on my withers as I looked up. “Princess Phenolgia Pinkie-Promised to protect, pamper, and preoccupy poor Private Sawfly. Besides…” She did a double front flip onto the table, landing in the splits. “… my right front knee and left mandibular wolf tooth twitched three times, and I knew where I was needed even more!”

Twilight looked up blearily. Yep. Cheapest and fastest drunk in Equestria. Might be why she was always the first to bust out at poker parties. Perfect understanding of odds and bluffing theory went out the window ten seconds after the first sip. “Sorry, Pinkie. Not in the mood right now. I just threw my assistant headmare into the cell next to Chrysalis after magically gagging her. She’ll need to feed herself through a straw until her trial.”

“Awww! But you haven’t heard all the supercalifragilistic good news yet!”

Wait – how did Pinkie know that word?

The pink mare continued. “Mark is now a full-blown, genuine-article alicorn and Trixie took his place as the only pegacorn in Equestria!”

Twilight’s eyes lost their dazed look and she sat up straight. “Wait. What?”

Every eye on the table swiveled to look at us. I heard my wife’s wings rustle nervously and I put on a sheepish smile. “Uh, yeah. That’s true. Kind of forgot to mention that.”

Everypony rushed over to congratulate Trixie and me, giving us hugs and high hooves. Everypony except Rarity that is. I glanced over to see her giving me a predatory smile that rivaled Discord’s. It was as if the world of possibilities had opened up and her Muse had gotten a triple-dose of caffeine. I was fairly sure the next few evenings I spent with my herdmate might cost me some of my sanity.

When everypony resumed their seats, I smirked. “And let me tell you, Trixie is just dying to go through multiple hours of testing to find out everything there is to know about her new body… starting with a blood test, of course!” I hadn’t told my wife about Twilight’s five-gallon prop hypodermic needle. Best for her to find out for herself. Under the table, I pulled earth pony magic out of the ground to toughen my legs. Sure enough, I got the kick I was expecting from Trixie. When I didn’t react fast enough, she gave me a much harder kick.

Twilight didn’t notice, instead, clopping her hooves together quickly and bouncing in her seat. “Oh, goody! More science to perform, even if Moondancer and Crispy are on bed rest for twenty-four hours. I can just see wonderful data pouring in! We can start right away!”

Thorax put his forelegs on her shoulders to keep her seated. “There will be plenty of time for that tomorrow, dear. For now, let’s just relax and enjoy the party.”

A metal loop appeared over the table with a flash. The structure enveloped both the inside and outside edges of a rune-inscribed stone ring that rotated freely in the construct. When the stone circle slowed to a halt, lightning flashed everywhere followed by a vortex of water shooting from the center. The spinning bubble of water reached the end of the table before retreating to fill the space inside the ring. Trixie and I had dived to the floor to avoid the liquid, but now we stood up to see a rippling mirror surface filling the center of the ring. A cloven hoof stepped through, followed by the rest of the familiar draconequus.

Discord smirked as he looked down at us. With a snap of his claws, the portal behind him disappeared. “I’m baaaaaack!” When nopony spoke, he deflated slightly. “Well don’t everyone crowd me all at once, you hear?”

He zipped down to Fluttershy’s side. “Missed you, Dear Heart.” He gave the giggling mare a few kisses.

She said, “Missed you too, Smelly.”

He gaped. “Just because I burnt the toast that one time!” At her pointed stare, he amended himself. “Those four or five times!” Discord folded his arms and looked away, huffing. “It doesn’t mean I’m as hopeless as Princess Twinkle Flanks in the kitchen. It’s just grain-derived products and other complex starches that give me trouble!”

Discord recovered quickly. He smiled and raised his arms upwards. “Now where is that delightful Cozy Glow? I do need to thank her, and there’s nothing better than a draconequus hug, now is there?”

Everypony at the table looked at each other awkwardly, except for Pinkie Pie who nodded her head with a big smile on her lips. There wasn’t a good way to break the news to Discord. And what was with this change of attitude? Last I heard, he didn’t want to have anything to do with the mare. The Lord of Chaos called her ‘more insistent on an orderly day than Celestia’ and the insult he held back for only a special few – ‘no fun.’

Discord’s gaze landed on Trixie and me. The draconequus blinked and pulled binoculars out of somewhere. He leaned forward to thoroughly scrutinize us, looking through the big lenses rather than the eyepieces – and not bothering to take off the lens caps. “My, my! What have you two been up to?” He swung his head to point the eyepieces at Twilight. After fiddling with the focus knob, he said, “You’ve been playing ‘Mad Scientist’ again, haven’t you?”

The alicorn stammered. “No! Well… possibly. But not with those two.” She fluttered her wings a bit and squirmed in her seat. “Not yet!”

“Never mind all that, where the heck-fire have y'all been?” demanded Applejack.

Fluttershy said, “Oh, didn’t I tell everypony? Discord went on a little vacation.”

“A vacation,” said Rainbow Dash. “And you didn’t think to invite any of your friends?”

Discord tossed the binoculars into the air where they turned into more confetti. He waved a dismissive paw. “Not your kind of place. No offense.”

Rarity smiled. “Why don’t you tell us all about it, darling?”

“Now why would I just tell you when it’s so much better to show you?” Discord snapped his claws and an old-time television set fell the last six inches onto the far end of the table. It came complete with UHF and VHF channel knobs and a V-shaped antenna on top.

The TV stubbornly showed nothing but static. Discord frowned and his magic turned the main channel knob with a familiar clunking sound. That took me back to afternoons in my youth spent watching reruns of Star Trek. Phil and I would plop ourselves down in front of the second-hand TV upstairs at his mom’s house and eat our Pop-Tarts. During commercials, we’d debate serious topics like whether a completed Tholian Web could stand up to the Romulan super-weapon. The worst thing about that old TV was the reception.

“Discord, try grabbing one of the rabbit ears.”

“Oh my,” said Fluttershy.

Starlight squinted at me. “The what now?”

Discord looked my way with a raised eyebrow then slithered over to the set. Only when he grabbed one of the two antenna rods and took the pose of an Egyptian hieroglyph did the picture clear up after another clunking pass through the channels.

{Click icon below to see video or HERE to see the high-res version}

The scene showed the draconequus standing in front of a class at the School of Friendship. He wore a very tasteful vest, tie, and starched-collar shirt combination. The pince-nez glasses completed his respectable and scholarly look. Personally, I thought the pink glow emanating from him was a bit much. Discord stroked his beard. “… and that’s why you never want to mix Styrofoam with petroleum distillates. Any questions?”

Smolder raised a claw. “What’s Spyro-foam?”

Yona yelled out, “What’s a pet-er-o-lion?”

Discord cleaned his glasses with his tongue and put them back on his nose. “Nope, sorry. You have to figure those out on your own. Next question.”

Cozy Glow asked, “You talked about magical artifacts during your last lecture. Are there more hidden about Equestria and beyond?”

Their teacher grinned. “Of course there are! The Zebras have their golden goblet of Zircon the First. They’ll tell you it’s buried deep in their Catacombs of Legends.” He dropped his voice and gave a conspiratorial smile. “What they don’t know is that Zondervan the Clumsy broke it over a millennia ago. Rather than fixing it, he just painted a cheap clay vessel with gold paint, locked it up, and decreed no zebra was worthy of seeing the thing. The real artifact’s pieces were melted down and added to the vat of gold used to make their coinage that year, not so coincidentally with his ugly mug stamped onto it. Thanks to each ruler trying to wipe out the memory of the last one, this happened again and again, diluting the original gold over the centuries.”

He pulled a shiny coin out of thin air, showed it to the class, then popped it in his mouth. “Zebrican crescents are delicious! Plus they are considered lucky coins to this very day. That should give you a clue to the strength of the original goblet’s enchantments.”

“Then there’s the Bewitching Bell. Gusty the Overblown hid it high up in a cave on Mount Everhoof. Extra credit if you want to go find it and get past the magic barrier. No! Better idea! We’ll make it a field trip for the last trimester just before summer recess!”

Discord shuddered. “The less said about Stalwart the Tasty’s Carnivorous Tome the better. On a lighter note, pieces of—”

Static took over the screen again.

Discord rapped the top of the set a few times. “Don’t know how that channel is still broadcasting that lecture from two months ago. I haven’t donated to their pledge drive and I’m their only patron…” He took on a ballerina’s pose, delicately standing on his tippy toes as his clawed hand still held the antenna. After a few more spins of the channel dial, Discord smiled. “Aha! Here’s what I really wanted to show you. This is from yester-yesterday.”

{Click icon below to see video or HERE to see the high-res version}

The TV showed Cozy Glow smiling up at someone high above her. “Excuse me, Mr. Discord?”

The draconequus’ bored voice filtered through the TV’s speakers. He was out of view.

“Hmmmm?”

The pegasus mare said, “I wanted to thank you for taking the time to give all those lectures to our students.”

“Mmmmm.”

Rather than looking offended, Cozy Glow smiled even wider. “Anyway, I’m hoping I can return the favor. I ran across a reference to ‘the Draconequus Dimension’ in a very old book from the Canterlot Archives. Here, catch!” She used her forelegs to toss a scroll high into the air. “I copied down the numbers from that page. I think they might be dimensional coordinates?”

A few seconds later, Discord’s smiling face dropped into the frame. “My dear, thank you. I had my doubts about you but this!” He waved the scroll after it rolled itself up again on one of his claws. “… this is going to be as fun as a barrel of rabid monkeys!”

Cozy shrugged. “I’m just glad I could be a helpful friend. Do you want me to delay the weekend school picnic? Or not schedule you for classes next week?”

The draconequus waved a dismissive paw as he stood up. “No need. I’ll only be gone for a couple of days. Ta ta!” A flash of light washed over Cozy and the rest of the room she was in.

The mare’s smile reached the corner of her eyes. “Have fun!”

Trixie and I shared a knowing look and a frown. Discord didn’t notice as he was slapping the sides of the TV to try to cure the static, once again.

He said. “Think of Draconequusville as Ponyville, but with a big upgrade. Every resident there is a draconequus! Of course, they don’t have anything close to my abilities, but they’re all undeniably brilliant! They treated me like a god!”

“I thought you already were a god?” I asked drily.

Discord blinked a couple of times. “Anyway, the citizens all took my form and gathered around to be amazed at my powers.” The screen cleared up, showing an idyllic country town full of various smaller versions of our draconequus.

Discord smiled. “Here we go! Watch their amazement as I take common, boring apples…” I heard a growl to my right and didn’t have to guess which mare it came from. “… and from them create the miracle of…”

{Click icon below to see video or HERE AND HIT PLAY to see the high-res version}

Discord’s narrative changed as he talked directly to the television. “… Hey, Stanley! Get out from in front of the camera! Don’t you dare turn off…”

Discord slumped. He snapped his claws and the television disappeared with a pop. He sighed. “There’s always that one draconequus that ruins the fun for everyone else. Am I right?”

Rarity piped up. “Couldn’t agree with you more. Besides, you’re the expert, darling. We’ll certainly take your word for it.”

Discord nodded gratefully until Rainbow Dash laughed. “She’s talking about you, blockhead!”

His smile fell and the draconequus narrowed his eyes at my herdmate. “Well, aren’t you snippy today.” Discord shrugged. “Anyway, my lovely, lovely marefriend and I have some catching up to do… but don’t think I wasn’t thinking about your when I thought about bringing back your thoughtful gifts.”

With a flash, he and Fluttershy disappeared, leaving behind three-inch-high bobble-head dolls in front of every pony at the table. Thorax picked his up, looked it over thoughtfully, then popped it in his mouth. After some munching noises, he swallowed. Noticing everypony’s stare, he shrugged. “Not bad. Nice and crunchy and the taste isn’t unpleasant.”

The oversize head on mine jiggled and wiggled in a particularly happy way.

CRASH!

I whipped my head around to see Applejack pull her hoof back from the remains of her doll, now scattered across the table. She folded her ears onto the back of her head. “Sorry, y’all. That thing gave me the heebie-jeebies something fierce.”

Rainbow elbowed her in the side. “Yeah, sure it did. More like revenge for Discord insulting apples, if you ask me.”

“ ’Course not! It was just…” the farm pony shuddered. “The way the head moved ‘round while still starin’ at ya. Just weren’t right natural.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw my doll wink at me. When I turned to examine it closely, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Did I imagine it?

CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

Trixie, Starlight, and Twilight had destroyed their bobbleheads. They all had startled looks on their faces. Maybe I hadn’t imagined it.

Pinkie joyfully bounced onto the table, landing on her doll.

CRASH!

Unlike the other mares, Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. “Whee!!! I like this kind of party!” With a single bound, she reached the other side of the table, crushing Rainbow Dash’s bobblehead under her hooves.

CRASH!

I hesitated. Sure the thing was creepy, but it was also a gift. Trixie made up my mind for me.

CRASH!

My wife gave me a long kiss. “Don’t overthink it, Dowser. Show some solidarity.”

Across the table, I heard Rarity protesting that she didn’t want her ‘ugly little troll’ destroyed even as the other mares in the room closed in like sharks on a wounded fish.

I said to Trixie. “OK, dear. We still have to talk to our co-ruler about the bell when she’s not busy.”

Rarity’s cry of protest ended with a…

CRASH!

My wife smiled. “She’s free now.”

“… and that’s why Trixie and I won’t be letting you and especially you and Crispberry do any experiments on the Bewitching Bell, assuming the three of us don’t decide to destroy it. We’ll revisit the subject next month. We’ll look over your test plan and evaluate it then. Keep in mind our first concern will be safety. By the way, Cozy forged your signature to authorize the placement of a daggerscale portal on top of Mount Everhoof. The Royal Engineers had to contract with a couple of dragons to lift a hut up to the summit and stake it into the ground. The winds keep anyone from climbing the mountain but skiing down isn’t a problem. In fact, there’s a petition before the Court to build up a resort. Anyway, two guardsponies skied down and found a bag with a small amount of nullstone dust outside the cave Discord mentioned.”

Twilight stared into space, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Trixie and I had taken our co-ruler to the castle library and told her what happened earlier that day, including everything we had perceived about the Bewitching Bell.

After several seconds, I glanced at Trixie who shrugged. I had expected Twilight to be upset; instead, she was completely lost in her thoughts. By silent agreement, my wife and I decided to wait for our friend to finish processing the information.

A minute or so later, Twilight said, “Cozy Glow lashed out with magic and wind blasts at the same time she started a ground quake, correct? That would have to be alicorn magic.”

Trixie said, “She could have absorbed the magic of one or more ponies of each tribe then given it back to herself with the bell.”

The purple mare shook her head. “Pegacorns are rare but well-documented. Pegasus and unicorn magic are not mutually exclusive. There have never been earth pony hybrids, however. The magical resonances prevent simultaneous use of earth pony and other magics, unless you have ascended.”

I asked, “Then why couldn’t I power my horn or wings after I charged myself?”

Twilight laughed. “If you had seen me trying to buck trees getting ready for the Alicorn Challenge, you would know. It was a complete failure. Applejack had to teach me how to draw earth pony magic out of the ground first. Now I can pull in earth pony magic and convert it to unicorn magic and vice versa, but it took months of practice before my cells got the hang of it. Going into the challenge, I had to power myself up with both a ley line and the ground.”

I nodded. I only hoped my lessons with earth pony magic would go better than my initial attempts at flight and levitation…. Who was I kidding? Of course they wouldn’t.

I said, “Cozy had no problem executing complex unicorn spells.”

Twilight gave me a calculating look. “There is more to the artifact than just the ability to transfer power. Perhaps much more.” She smiled sweetly. “We’ll never know until it’s fully tested.”

My wife ignored the hint and got us back on topic. “That means whatever being possessed the bell used it on an alicorn. Could it have been Celestia or Luna in the distant past?”

“No. The three of us had a heart-to-heart talk after I became the Element of Magic. I asked if there existed any weapon that could devolve an alicorn or take their powers away. They said no, at least they didn’t know of any.” Twilight dipped her head and her ears angled backward. She put on an embarrassed smile. “I even leaned on them a bit; saying that in my new role as protector of the realm, they had to tell me why their alicorn mother was no longer here. They never talk about Faust to anypony, but they did say she left of her own free will, not because of any ancient threat to Equestria.”

I pursed my lips. “So where did the alicorn magic stored in the bell come from?”

Twilight said, “The same place as the bell – another dimension. That would also explain why Cozy Glow was so confident she would rule Equestria. Because the bell came from another world, it was not affected by the sphere’s draining effect. If Equestrian magic had been sealed in that other dimension, Cozy would have returned the magic stored in the bell to herself. Nopony could have stood up to her.”

“Cutie mark in strategy,” I mused.

Twilight’s grin grew wider. “Anyway, when would I have time to run experiments on yet another magical artifact when I have two such willing test subjects standing right in front of me?” She swished her tail and skipped toward the hallway. “The sooner we start, the more likely you two will get at least a little sleep before I raise the sun!”

My wife and I groaned in stereo. This had all the hallmarks of a very long night.

When Trixie and I arrived back at the Canterlot throne room, we expected to be met with scenes of pandemonium. Even though the peril to Equestria had been dealt with, emergencies always stirred up the nobility. Now that the crisis had passed, they were no longer constrained by fear and uncertainty. No – now it would be all about how the crisis had affected them and what were the Triarchs going to do about it? Even more, why didn’t we magically know and deal with this disaster in advance and why won’t we guarantee no other emergencies will ever happen in the future? However, although it was far from the normal Day Court, the atmosphere was remarkably constrained. The reason why proved to be quite surprising. While Silver Dreams was still coordinating crisis-mitigating efforts from a desk that had been set up on the events stage, she had been joined by an unexpected helper.

We paused at the entrance and I looked at Trixie, my eyebrow raised. “Did you know Blueblood was back in town?”

My wife shook her head. “The last that Trixie knew, he and his wife were still incommunicado. He was doing a marvelous job of hiding from the royal assassin… and everypony else. Trixie imagined he would return when he thought Canterlot was safe again.”

“I wonder what motivated him to come back and help? Complain about the loss of magic, I can imagine, but this?”

“Trixie must admit that he seems to have a knack for handling the nobles.”

“And yet Silver Dreams still seems to be in charge. That doesn’t sound much like the Blueblood I’ve come to know.”

“One can only hope that this is a sign of Vigne Dorée’s influence on him.”

Our speculation ended when Blueblood noticed that we had arrived. He rose from behind the desk and gave us a perfunctory bow.

“Trixie did not expect to see you here, Duke Blueblood,” my wife said with an acknowledging nod of her head.

The unicorn gave us a tight smile. “You were expecting me to be still cowering in some forgotten corner of Equestria perhaps?”

I replied, “Obviously not, although we heard no word of you long after the danger to yourself had passed.”

“After receiving your warning and taking time to consider the situation and make plans, I concluded that either of my estates would be too obvious as a retreat. However, Your Highness had tasked me with using my talents to map new territories, and if I didn’t know exactly where I would be the next day, I figured that a pursuing assassin was unlikely to divine my whereabouts.”

“I have to give you credit, Duke – that was a good idea. But why are you here now? Surely you didn’t come from some distant land to find out what was happening?”

“Of course not,” he scoffed. “I have been in my mansion turning all the data that I accrued into those maps that you require. Such concise work takes time and is best achieved in the comfort of my estate with my wife.”

I smirked a little. “I can’t argue with that.”

My wife said, “That still does not explain why you are here. Trixie believes she left Silver Dreams in charge of coordinating mitigation efforts.”

Blueblood raised an eyebrow. “With no disrespect to the good Lady, while she is a competent organizer, she lacks the authority to persuade some of the more… obdurate of the nobility. Whereas I, being the highest-ranked among them, have the requisite status to enforce a directive.”

I chuckled. “And at the same time, re-establish yourself firmly in the pecking order. Nice use of the crisis to create an opportunity for yourself.”

The stallion gave me a tight smile. “I’m glad that we see eye to eye on this, Your Highness.”

“Indeed. Duke, we may have gotten off to a poor start, but I believe we can work in harmony now that we both know where the other stands.”

“Quite so. With that out of the way, may I inquire about the matter at hoof? We noticed the return of magic a while back.”

“We found the source of the problem and, thanks to the efforts of my Great and Powerful Wife, myself, and many brave Royal Guards, the crisis has been averted.”

Trixie shrugged her wings and said, “It is nothing that a Wise and Dedicated Princess like myself wouldn’t do for Our Little Ponies.”

Blueblood was looking at her wings keenly. Like many others in the court, I’m sure he had suspected her feathered appendages, normally half-concealed by her cape, to be fakes. However, the way she was using them now was clearly natural and, annoyingly, a lot better than I had handled mine even after a week in Equestria. I bet Blueblood would strongly prefer to call her an alicorn rather than me who actually was one. I still found my ascension a bit hard to swallow, but the extra few inches of height were nice.

I brought attention back to myself by saying, “The Triarchy will give a full report on the matter in Day Court when the trial has concluded. Suffice to say that the culprit has been taken into custody and everything is returning to normal. The remaining unfortunate consequences of the temporary loss of magic still need to be attended to but you seem to have those matters well in hoof.”

Trixie added, “The Triarchs have some repercussions with our allies to deal with right now, so we will leave you to your work.”

“Very well, Your Highnesses.” Blueblood made a stiff bow and returned to the desk.

As we left the throne room, I quietly asked, “What do you think of the new Blueblood?”

My wife snorted. “Trixie doesn’t trust him much more than before. Perhaps he could be encouraged to finish his tour of the Prench vineyards? Trixie doubts that maps were the only things he was working on while we were ignorant of his return.”

“I’m afraid that’s not going to work twice,” I replied with a chuckle. “The fact that he still wields so much authority with the nobles makes him a threat, but now that we know he’s here, we can keep an eye on him. As long as we maintain our vigilance, we can use him just as much as he wants to use us.”

“Trixie was half expecting you to tell him that you’re an alicorn now.”

I shook my head. “He probably wouldn’t believe me. I think it’s best to save that for another time when we can use it to our tactical advantage. My Marklestia form and mana-channeling capacity saved the day more than once because they were secrets. No reason to let our enemies know about my new powers. I’ll definitely need training to get the most out of my elevated status.”

“That is understandable. Trixie needs to acquaint herself with her beautiful new wings too.”

I grinned and said, “And I’ll be delighted to give you your first flying lessons, my dear.”

Trixie’s face fell. “No need to trouble yourself, Dowser.”

“Oh, but I insist, darling.”

“Trixie was afraid you’d say that.”

When we finally finished for the day, Trixie and I headed off for a late supper. To our surprise, we found Twilight there in the dining room. We had expected her to be dealing with the problems that had arisen in her hive but she told us Thorax had reassured her that freeing his subjects from their cocoons would take little time and he would take care of them. Her friend needed her more. That friend was Rarity who had been having a drink with Twilight. Surprisingly, the unicorn mare levitated a concoction that I recognized from Rainbow’s training regimen. Normally, the unicorn was fond of a glass or two of sparkling wine before bedtime, not a vitamin drink.

I arched an eyebrow in Rarity’s direction. “So, what brings you here tonight? You’ve already told everypony about the fracture in your cannon bone and that it had been healed.”

My herdmate gave me an enigmatic smile. “While that’s true, it was not the only thing that I learned today. Doctor Horse ran a series of standard tests while I was at the hospital He called me back this afternoon when the results from my blood work came in. There were… some anomalies.”

I was suddenly worried. “What anomalies?”

Rarity laid a dainty hoof on my withers. “Mark, darling – I’m pregnant.”

I blinked as my mind blue-screened. “What?”

“The good doctor informed me that, judging by the results of the tests, I’ve been pregnant for about three weeks.”

“But… but you haven’t been on heat for a couple of months, and we avoided sex then!”

Equestrian ponies had minor heats about three months apart culminating in the major heat during Mating Season. I was never forced to change during the minor heats but I always had to avoid procreative sex with both Trixie and Rarity during those times.

Twilight spoke up. “Rarity brought that mystery to me tonight while we waited for you. We discussed all the opportunities that you two had to inseminate her. You’ve been indulging in lots of trips to the anthro world, haven’t you?”

As a male, normally I would be appalled about how readily Rarity had talked about our sex lives, but as a part-time mare, I understood how this wasn’t an unusual thing. I might have even been guilty of it too while I was Marklestia, so there was no point in denying it. “Yes, we enjoy the occasional anthro frolic.”

That earned me a roll of the eyes from Trixie.

Twilight ignored my wife. “Did you know that anthro ponies don’t have heats like us?”

My eyebrows rose. “No, I didn’t, but you’re the one who has been studying them.”

“Exactly. I found that their cycle is similar to those of the humans in Sunset’s world.”

My mind suddenly lurched as it latched onto a basic fact. “Humans have a monthly sexual cycle without necessarily showing any overt signs of fertility.” I looked at Rarity. “Are you telling me that we…?”

The unicorn nodded. “It seems so, darling.” She shrunk down on herself and shivered. “Mark, dear, this is so unexpected and frightening. This changes everything that we had planned for our future.”

I put my wing around my herdmate and hugged her tightly. “Rarity, my love, it changes very little. You and I will have a foal much sooner, it’s true, but you have our herd and all your friends to support you.”

My wife came over and added her wing. “Trixie has always approved of her stallion’s choice of herdmate and will do what she can to make your pregnancy seem like a minor inconvenience.”

Twilight then added her wings to hug the three of us. “It’s time for the Element of Generosity to get some back. We’ll all be here to help you, my dear friend.”

Rarity sniffled a little and then smiled. “Thank you. Thank you all.”

And that’s how I learned that I was going to be a father again. The only unanswered question was – how was this odd conception going to affect Rarity’s foal?

“ALL RISE FOR THEIR HIGHNESSES!”

The Sergeant-at-Arms’ voice cut through the babble of conversation and brought a hush to the nobles and commoners alike. I followed Trixie and Twilight out into the throne room and mounted the dais. We took our usual places – Trixie in the middle, me to her right, and Twilight seated to her left. We gazed solemnly over the throng that filled the room to capacity, aware that we needed to bring closure to Equestria’s latest crisis. My wife let silence reign for a moment before she began to speak.

“Citizens of Equestria, representatives of the changeling hives, and our esteemed allies from other nations – you have all come here seeking answers and we are here today to give them to you. As some of you undoubtedly have already heard from other sources, the recent loss of magic was due to one pony’s insidious plot to take all power for herself.”

Trixie then gave a concise report on how it had been done and who and what had been affected, leaving out unnecessary details but emphasizing the cost in lives. By the time she had finished, there was a loud angry muttering that kept rising in volume until I gave the Sergeant-at-Arms a meaningful look.

“SILENCE IN THE COURT!” the sergeant bellowed.

The babble died down and I said, “Bring out the prisoner.”

Two Royal Guards – a unicorn and an earth pony flanked Cozy Glow as they led her into the room. The tiny mare was dressed in an orange prison uniform that covered her wings, preventing them from being used, plus manacles around her legs. She shuffled to the front of the dais even as the crowd murmured in surprise at the sight of someone the size of a foal being treated in such a manner. During her report, Trixie had told everyone that the accused was a diminutive adult assigned to a trusted position at the School of Friendship. From the whispers I overheard, some of our subjects were trusting their eyes rather than their monarchs. None of this seemed to matter to Cozy as she just glared at us defiantly. I nodded to Twilight and she lifted the silencing spell on the mare.

Time for me to play the bad guy and summarize the verdict of the mare’s trial. Moon Dancer had done her best but even she couldn’t form a defense half as convincing as the one she made on behalf of Starlight Glimmer. I got up from my throne and stepped to the front of the dais to stare sternly at the accused. “Cozy Glow – you have been found guilty of treason, multiple counts of murder, attempted regicide, attempted genocide, and actions that would have destroyed this nation. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Cozy’s lip curled. “Think you’re so smart, don’t you? Well, you’re not. You just got lucky. You won’t next time.”

The words stung. “We trusted you, Cozy Glow. Didn’t you learn anything while you were at the School of Friendship?”

“I learned that friendship is just another way to gain power over others. You’re fooling yourselves if you think it’s anything more.”

“Was that power worth all the lives that you took?”

The mare shrugged. “If they hadn’t tried to stop me, some of them might still be alive, right?”

By now, it was obvious to everyone present that Cozy was an irredeemable sociopath who remained an existential threat to Equestria and more. There was only one punishment suitable for a being such as her. Trixie, Twilight, and I had already decided how to deal with her but the nobles and the public needed to see for themselves why it had to be.

I sighed and returned to my throne. Trixie took her cue and took my place in front of Cozy. Flaring her wings, she lifted her voice and said, “By the authority of the Triarchs of Equestria, Cozy Glow is hereby sentenced to indefinite incarceration in Tartarus. Guards – carry out the sentence!”

Cozy’s guards saluted and led the mare away. She looked back at me and smirked. “Don’t think you’ve seen the last of me, Prince Mark.”

If she was going to say any more, it was cut off as Twilight re-established the gagging spell on her. There would be no further conspiring with the inmates of Tartarus. When Cozy was gone, the alicorn announced, “While there has been much tragedy, there have also been those who stepped forward when Equestria needed them most. Among them were two who worked tirelessly to mitigate the disastrous effects of the loss of magic. Duke Blueblood, Lady Silver Dreams, please step forward.

Silver Dreams looked surprised but Blueblood seemed unaffected by the announcement. They paused at the foot of the dais and Twilight continued.

“Silver Dreams was the first to volunteer her help when we Triarchs were needed elsewhere. Her organizational skills helped coordinate assistance to those in desperate need and kept chaos from taking over.”

In my ear, I heard a familiar voice. “As if that would be a bad thing.” Wow. Discord had learned some restraint. Either that or he was afraid of his marefriend’s reaction if he disrupted Day Court… again.

Our co-ruler continued. “Silver Dreams had assistance from several ponies, but it was Duke Blueblood’s experienced hoof that made it all work. The Crown recognizes their invaluable service and awards them the Royal Commendation for Meritorious Conduct.”

Silver looked delighted but Blueblood appeared quietly smug. “Thank you, Your Highnesses,” they said in unison.

Of course, we knew the stallion’s real motivations, but it was important to show the nobility that the Triarchy was willing to offer the carrot as well as the stick. Service to the Crown would be rewarded, whether materially or by increasing their status. Blueblood had earned the latter even if it was self-serving. I amused myself by wondering how he would react if I told him that he had been working so closely with a changeling. Alas, that was not my secret to divulge.

“Thank you, Duke Blueblood and Lady Silver Dreams,” Trixie said. “We will now take a short recess. Day Court will resu—”

“What happened to the bell? Are we still in danger from it?” came a voice from the crowd.

My wife glared at the pony who had dared interrupt her as our old nemesis, Jet Set, stepped forth from the gathered nobles. Trixie said coldly, “You need to learn more respect for your betters, Lord Jet Set.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” he replied belligerently.

I spoke up before my irate spouse could say something we’d all regret. “The Triarchy agrees that it is extremely dangerous and we decided that it needed to be destroyed. Unfortunately, we discovered this morning that it is indestructible. Therefore, we have had to resort to concealing it in a secure location. Obviously, I cannot say more for fear of compromising that security. Now, as my wife was about to announce, Day Court will resume after recess.” I saw Jet Set open his mouth to say something anyway but no sound came out. I looked over to Twilight who gave me a wink. Yeah, that silence spell came in handy occasionally. Pity we couldn’t use it too often.

We spent the rest of Day Court dealing with the aftermath of the Cozy Crisis as we had begun to call it. However, we closed early to spend time with our foals whom we had been forced to leave in the care of others for a while. We also threw a bigger party for the Student Six who had been instrumental in the restoration of magic. I admit that I let my foster son indulge himself a wee bit much on Pinkie’s desserts, but how often do you save the world?

However, it was that evening after dinner that I was most looking forward to. That was when I was giving my wife her first flying lesson. I couldn’t get the grin off my face.

“Now, now, dear! Flying into fountains is for Lesson Two!”

The murderous look she gave me suggested that I might be sleeping in my old room tonight.

# # # # # # # #

Author's Note

Animated art? What next – fully rendered 3D scenes? Anyway, if you've enjoyed the story, please consider leaving us a tip on Ko-fi.

Credits:

Backgrounds are show assets.

MLP Scroll by Stinkehund

Professor Discord by BlueThunder66

Countless Discord vectors by Estories

Chapter 85 - Critical Developments

For me, it was just another Friday Day Court. Trixie got to do the fun bit, spending the morning with Gemini and Regis, keeping an eye on them as they zoomed around the Castle Gardens. Well… perhaps ‘tore through’ would be the better description. Regardless, the pair had loads of fun together playing tag, keep away, bury Trixie’s book, and other fun games only cute foals could get away with. The two of them didn’t cause all that much damage in a day, at least compared to my average early flight lessons. Still, I had high hopes they would rise to my level eventually.

Later that evening, Trixie and I sat in one of the Royal Lounge Suites, helping Twilight brainstorm ideas for the final term of Friendship School.

I said, “Zecora still recommends that we not take the students to Zebrica. Their attitude towards other races is still ‘barely tolerate and then only if you are an ambassador or trader’.”

Trixie said, “Don’t zebras populate an island north of Seadragon Deep? Trixie would think that because they are on the main shipping route, they would be more tolerant of outsiders.”

Twilight shook her head. “More like ‘disappointed with the mainlanders speaking to those that are impure. Let’s go somewhere where nopony will bother us’.”

I smiled. “Sounds like you have personal experience with them.”

“I sure do. They were… reluctant to take the vaccine we brought back from the Plague Dimension. Only when the zebras discovered they could not break through my shield and I could sing in the Canterlot Royal Voice for twenty-four hours straight did they relent, even if it was just to get me off their island.”

My wife said, “Trixie is offended for your sake. You have a lovely singing voice. It’s as if a professional singer takes over. The zebras should have been honored by such a gift.”

Twilight smirked. “I sang like your husband in his Celestial form.”

I winced, not wishing that punishment upon any being.

We all swiveled our ears and then our heads toward the sound of galloping horseshoes hitting the stone. A moment later, a guardspony stopped in the hallway, held back by the guards stationed there. “Your Highnesses! It’s Regis! There’s an emergency! Chrysalis is demanding that we bring Thorax immediately!”

Twilight said, “Why does—”

Trixie and I were already running for the doorway. Relying entirely on my gut instinct, I yelled back over my withers, “Do it, Twilight!” I heard the sound of teleportation from behind me as I followed the guardspony back down the corridor. Crimson Boulder and Feather Staff, Trixie’s unicorn bodyguard for this shift, thundered after us.

Twilight reappeared with Thorax at the entrance to the dungeon just as my wife and I arrived. Together, we galloped down the passages and stairways to get to the bottom level. Belatedly, I realized I hadn’t tripped or stumbled on the stairs once – probably because I wasn’t thinking about it.

Fortunately, the fields were missing from the entrance to Chrysalis’ cell so the four of us entered the chamber immediately. Chrysalis held the limp form of Regis Novellus between her hooves. A chill ran through my body. I knew the difference between ‘asleep relaxed’ and ‘dead relaxed’ from being there for my cat when she had to be put down. This did not look like the asleep kind.

Twilight reached out. “Give me—”

The changeling queen snarled. “Shut up! Thorax, link your nymph into the hive immediately! He has expended all of his love reserves and can’t stop!”

Thorax pushed his way past his stunned wife and placed a hoof on his son’s forehead. Regis began to shiver then flailed about wildly with random movements of every appendage. I gripped onto Twilight with both forehooves. She warned me long ago about interfering with powerful magic. I didn’t trust my friend to control herself when her child looked like he was drowning.

With one last jerk, Regis went still. I sighed with relief. Now he just looked to be sleeping. That ended with a huge yawn and lots of blinking.

I released Twilight. She rushed up to him. “Regis! Are you OK? Say something!”

Her foal looked around at his parents and one grandparent. All three hovered so closely that their manes intertwined. Regis smirked and two forehooves and one hind hoof extended to lightly touch three noses. “One-two-three boop!” He laughed uproariously. Apparently, this was a kiddo win of the highest order.

Twilight gently took her delighted foal from Chrysalis’ grasp. She kept her voice level as she glared at the changeling queen. “Explain.”

Chrysalis laid her head down on the floor and sighed. “As hive-mother, you should already know. Since that is not the case, understand that every changeling since the First Egg can only expend or share a portion of their love stores. A part is always preserved to maintain bodily functions. At worst, a changeling will lapse into unconsciousness. They will need external love given to them or they perish within two or three days.” She shifted to look at Thorax. “At least, that was the case before today. My grand-nymph obviously has no such reserve.”

Thorax said, “What did you do, exactly?” His voice was even, devoid of anger. Meanwhile, Regis snuggled up against his mother, still giggling.

“I led my grand-nymph through exercises on controlled transformation. A hoof, an eye, a wing.” She looked down. “I could see him growing bored with the exercise so I declared a break for playtime. I started the game ‘I spy with my huge, freaky eye’ but Regis did not respond, looking elsewhere. Then, his expression brightened. ‘I know! Look at what I can do, Grandma!’ That’s when he changed into his mother’s shape, adult-sized and complete with glowing eyes and horn.”

She winced. “My command for him to stop was already too late. He reverted to his base form with a look of shock on his muzzle, collapsing in my hooves. I poured my love into him but some part of the shape-change had not dissipated. It was like pouring water into an endless well. I could only hope that what I provided could sustain him on the way out his body.”

Thorax looked at his wife. “By linking him to the hive, I could enter his mind and understand what was happening. I took over control of his magic and canceled the remnants of the transformation. Then I restored his reserves.”

Twilight hugged her foal protectively, frowning. “I told all of you it was a terrible idea, allowing Regis to come here.” She glared at the changeling queen. “This is all your fault.”

My wife said, “It sounds to Trixie like this event was unprecedented and could not have been predicted.”

Chrysalis said, “No, the hive-mother is correct. Her foal’s safety was my responsibility and continues to be.” She shifted her wings on her back. “If you would allow it, hive-mother, I will work with King Thorax to find a means to ensure this does not happen again.”

I blinked in surprise for two reasons. First, I had never heard Chrysalis acknowledge her son’s royal title. As for the second…

“Chrysalis, look behind you.”

Slowly, the changeling queen craned her head backward. She extended her wings and examined them. They sparkled in the dim light like a thousand fireflies. As she swished her tail, it shimmered, matching her mane’s new glory.

Chrysalis sighed as she furled her wings again. She grumbled, “Wonderful. Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any better.”

Trixie cocked an eyebrow, “Was that a regretful sigh I heard, Your Majesty?”

“Of course not,” the changeling queen snapped. “I swore that I would protect my grand-nymph with my life. This corruption of my beauty is merely cosmetic.”

Twilight carried Regis out of the room, closely followed by Thorax.

I smirked. “Still, this change is hardly ideal, is it? Looking adorable in the eyes of ponies isn’t going to help you cow them with fear.”

The queen frowned and rustled her wings before stopping herself with obvious effort. After a pause, she said, “I will admit that the circumstances are… unfortunate.”

My wife caught my eye and pointed with her muzzle to the chains leading from the prisoner’s manacles. They both ran under her body, but the changeling made no effort to get up. That couldn’t be comfortable. “Are you well, Chrysalis? Why aren’t you returning to your knitting?”

A longer pause this time. “I had to estimate how long it would take for Thorax to reach my cell, knowing that I needed to stay conscious long enough to instruct him. Then I metered out my love stores to flow into my grand-nymph. Unfortunately, my time estimate was a bit optimistic.” She lied down on her side. “I am unable to stand.”

I turned to the nearest guard in the hallway. “Get the prisoner a double… no, a triple ration of her daily love supply!”

The pegasus mare, Torch Blaze, I think, said, “Immediately, Your Highness!” She galloped up the hallway.

Trixie said, “In the meantime, why don’t you share some of your ample supply with her, Patriarch Parallels?”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Think of it as… making yourself useful.”

I turned to Penny for help. My bodyguard shrugged. “Don’t look at me. I wouldn’t be able to generate anything more than grudging respect.”

Feather Staff shook her head, but not enough to stop aiming her horn at the prisoner. “Sorry, Your Highness. The pretty wings aren’t enough. She still scares me.”

A wheezing sound brought my attention back down to Chrysalis. Her smile didn’t falter through her coughs. “Idiot stallion. I thought you would have accepted by now that mares make all the decisions in Equestria.”

Bloody hell.

I awkwardly moved over to the changeling, trying to hug her barrel with the minimum amount of body contact. Rather than being hard and unyielding, her chitin felt more like thick leather.

Concentrating on the love I held for my wife was complicated by a nagging doubt. I had to beat down the paranoid suspicion that every mare in my life kept me around just for their amusement. With a mental effort, I refused to count the number of times I looked like a fool, especially since many of those occasions were self-inflicted.

Chrysalis’ breathing grew steadier and slower. After I don’t know how long (what was holding up those damn rations?), the changeling smacked her lips and her body shifted into a more comfortable position. I glanced up to see her craning her neck to look me in the eye.

“Odd. Your love is different from any I have tasted.”

That sounded uncomfortably familiar. “Tirek said the same thing about my magic.”

“Did he now?” Chrysalis lowered her head back down and closed her eyes. “Someday, I will need to discuss the matter with him.”

“Another cherry chimichanga, Mark?”

I groaned and pushed away the tray of nigh irresistible treats. “I’ve already had way too many, Pinkie.”

“Okay. Waste not, want not!” She then proceeded to tip the entire contents of the tray into her open muzzle and swallowed them all in one gulp. How she managed that, I have no idea, especially after consuming massive quantities of other party foods already. I mourned the loss of my favorite dessert.

“I could have saved those for tomorrow,” I protested.

“Don’t be a Silly-Billy! Do you really think I wouldn’t have enough treats for everypony to go home with goodies for breakfast?”

“I’m not the birthday boy though,” I replied while looking over in Gallus’ direction.

I had only learned that it was my adopted son’s birthday when Pinkie came around about a week ago and asked me what I intended to do for it. Not surprisingly, the precocious party planner knew his date of birth despite not even him clearly remembering due to griffon culture never celebrating it. Of course, we needed to do something to remedy that situation. I suggested that we make it an all-out birthday bash and hold it in Canterlot. Things had been quiet for several weeks now and no major events were scheduled, so why not make a big fuss over him? He could invite as many friends as he liked and not have to worry about whether they could all be crammed into one place. He ended up inviting every student at the school. The Canterlot Castle banquet hall was being well utilized today!

Pinkie said, “The perfect party has every creature fully satisfied so that the special pony of the day can enjoy themselves without feeling guilty.” One of her ears twitched up and down, which I didn’t think was possible. “Gotta go! I sense a fruit punch alert!” In a blink and a cloud of dust (flour, I think), she was gone, leaving me wondering what a fruit punch alert was.

My wife and I let Pinkie do all of the planning, of course. We just followed her instructions, sure in the knowledge that the party mare knew what she was doing far better than us. Everything from the decorations to the entertainment was perfectly matched to the young griffon’s tastes and he was having a ball. As for Trixie and me – we got to sit back and relax while watching our son enjoy his day. And eat too many treats. My wife had a blob of whipped cream clinging to the side of her muzzle that I hadn’t told her about yet. Would she find out before one of the students told her… or should I just surprise her by licking it off?

A Royal Guard burst into the room and made a beeline for us. As the Guards were under instruction to secure the room and not to interrupt us short of an emergency, this could only mean bad news. The unicorn came to a halt in front of us and snapped a salute.

“Your Highnesses! Please come with me immediately. Princess Twilight Sparkle wishes to speak with you in the throne room.”

I shared a worried glance with Trixie and we both got up. We headed out of the room with the Royal Guard, while Crimson Boulder and Diadem followed close behind. The changeling princess had been attending the party at my insistence for her further education in Equestrian culture, not to mention the emotional feast I knew she would get. I think she was feeling as bloated as me right about now.

We hastened to the throne room where we found our co-ruler in the company of a squad of Royal Guards in white barding with gloss black engraving. I shuddered when I realized who they were – the Guardians of Tartarus. I had a sinking feeling.

Security for that realm had been stepped up since Cozy Glow’s banishment there. Its defense was not left up to just Cerberus – a terrible oversight of ours that allowed Derpy to be used as a go-between for Cozy and Tirek who assisted in the mini-mare’s plot. Now, there was a full-time contingent of Guardians of Tartarus to watch for intruders and unauthorized visitors, not to mention checking that the prisoners didn’t find some way of escaping their cells. However, if all three shifts of the Guardians were here, what the heck had happened?

“Report!” I said before I was halfway across the floor.

An earth pony mare stepped forward and saluted. “Sir! Sergeant Daisy Cutter reporting! At approximately 1320 hours, a large blue ram approached the guard post at the gates of Tartarus. Upon being warned away, he laughed at us and said, ‘Begone!’ Then the world exploded.”

“What do you mean by that, Sergeant?” Trixie asked.

“I mean that there was an enormous blinding flash and we all dropped unconscious. By the time that we recovered, the gates of Tartarus had been forced open. The creatures caged there are all still accounted for, but three of the prisoners were missing – Tirek, the Storm King, and Cozy Glow.”

“Oh, buck,” I whispered.

“You have a knack for understatement, Dark Quells,” my wife replied with a tremor in her voice.

“Ditto,” was Twilight’s contribution.

After a long moment while we stood in stunned silence, Crimson cleared his throat. “What are your orders, Your Highnesses?”

As my bodyguard, it was not his place to do anything but maintain his vigilance for my safety, but his words achieved their desired effect. I shook off the feeling of helplessness and faced Diadem. “Put out the alert that I want every creature of importance here immediately.”

“Every creature?” Diadem repeated.

“Yes! I want General Crushing Blow here soonest. I want the Captain of the Royal Guard, the Head Ranger, the Changeling Squad Commander, the Captain of the Griffon Contingent, the Element Bearers, the changeling queens, the Pillars of Equestria, Prince Armor, Princess Cadance, Princess Gilda, Starlight Glimmer, and recall Tempest Shadow. Hell, I even want Duke Blueblood. Go!”

The changeling princess hastened away, her wings a blur as she zipped out the door.

Twilight said, “That will take a couple of days. What are we going to do while we wait for everybeing to turn up?”

“There’s one more person invited to this party,” I replied. “Discord! Discord! Discord!”

The was a crash of thunder accompanied by a puff of black smoke and the draconequus emerged dressed in a black and white striped suit, with a green fright wig and blackened eyes. His head was spinning on his neck until he grabbed it in his paws his hands to stop it. His eyes spun like a poker machine reels until they both came up ‘TILT’. He shook himself, returning his eyes to their normal yellow, and then grinned at me.

“What’s got you in such a delightful tizzy, Markicorn?”

“More like who. Know any powerful blue rams who like busting prisoners out of Tartarus?”

“Oho! Sounds like someone wants his bell back in the absolute worst way.”

I blinked. “You don’t mean…?”

“I do. Grogar hasn’t been seen since before Faust’s time. I wouldn’t be surprised if using the bell was the alarm clock that woke him from his long nap… or opened a portal to this dimension from his own. The old goat must have tracked down the one who wielded its power.” The stripes on Discord’s suit began to shift back and forth, fighting for territory across his chest and pants. The distant sounds of swords clanging against shields amplified the war-like scene.

“That explains why Cozy Glow was taken, but what about Tirek and the Storm King?”

Discord held up a clawed finger as if he just remembered a point. “Did I mention that he likes to conquer worlds with the help of powerful lackeys? By the way, during my dimension-hopping adventures, I ran into Tirek’s brother. Nice chap – we traded crochet patterns. Anyway, Scorpan mentioned that Grogar also hails from that dimension. He was deposed ages ago and spends his time shuffling around alternate worlds, trying to become the Biggest Cheese once more.”

I tapped my chin. “Did you ever encounter him? Either in this dimension or another.”

He shrugged. “Before my time, sorry. I caused mischief as soon as I arrived. I was … a bit of an attention seeker at the time.”

My wife asked dryly, “Only then?” Trixie emphasized her point by poking the draconequus’ suit with a hoof. That seemed to be the turning point ‘black’ needed. The disruption behind the ‘white’ front lines caused an immediate collapse of their defenses. To my surprise, the only thought I had on the matter was that Discord actually looked fairly dapper in a black suit.

“Well, can I help it if everypony found me both strange and wonderful?”

“You mean you were an immature twit with no self-control.”

Discord blinked. “Ahhh… maybe.”

I said, “Would you please join us at the council?”

His grin was not friendly. “And miss the chance to prank all those overblown leaders at once?” His smile fell and every part of him drooped. “Meh. You are all going to be intensely boring; I can smell it from here.”

Discord’s smile returned and he gave me a wink. “What’s that? Show up as a personal favor to you? Done! Consider yourself to be in my debt. Ta ta!”

Before I could protest, the Spirit of Chaos was gone in a puff of pink smoke. His laughter echoed off the walls for a few seconds until it faded away.

My wife punched me on the shoulder as she walked past. “Well done, Dowser. Trixie was concerned she would unfairly be held responsible for your impertinent summons. Please repay your IOU without involving Trixie… or her wardrobe.”

The draconequus’ voice reverberated around the room. “But where’s the fun in…. fine! Something else!”

I took it back. It wasn’t just the mares that got a laugh at my expense.

“May I have a private word with you, Your Highnesses?” Tempest asked.

I think the three of us had the same idea about what the Commander of our Foreign Forces wanted and, after a nod from Twilight, Trixie said, “Come with us, General.”

We headed off to my wife’s office. While we all had a personal workspace, my wife’s was bigger and used for private meetings which involved all three Triarchs or large groups. Once inside, Twilight took the initiative.

“You wish to know if we are ready to restore your horn yet, correct?”

Tempest nodded. “I will be more productive in my service to Equestria if I can properly control my magic. The sooner that my horn is healed, the sooner I can train myself to use it most effectively.”

“Of course, and you will be pleased to know that, yes, I am confident that I can restore your horn with a better than 93% chance of success.”

The unicorn gave her a wry smile. “So – not a sure thing?”

The alicorn shook her head. “Still too few test subjects and too little data to consider it completely effective or safe.”

Tempest tapped her chin. “Hmm. Prince Mark told me that I would likely have only one chance because of the length of my horn stub. Is that still the case?”

“That’s right. The process involves paring back the horn to get rid of the dead or damaged parts before starting the regeneration process. This would leave you with even less than you have now if it fails. In all likelihood, there won’t be enough left to try again.”

“I see. And when can you be certain that this won’t happen?”

Twilight started to answer but I interrupted. “With all due respect, Twilight, I get where you’re coming from but you have to draw the line somewhere.” I turned to Tempest. “My co-ruler is a perfectionist and there is a real possibility that she will never be 100% certain of success. I have been getting updates on the progress of Princess Twilight’s work and the opinions of her learned colleagues who worked with her on this, and we agree that the horn restoration process is ready to be used. As long as you are aware that there remains a real risk of failure, we are ready to fulfill our promise to you.”

Tempest considered my words for a moment before nodding. “I am prepared to take that risk.”

Twilight gave me an annoyed glance before saying, “Very well. If you would care to follow me to my castle laboratory, Tempest, we will attend to it immediately.”

The two left and my wife gave me a smirk. “Trixie thinks that Twilight is ticked with you, Stark Tells.”

I grimaced. “Maybe, but this isn’t the time to be too cautious. I’ve worked hard to fortify Equestria’s defenses and we keep encountering stronger foes to test them. We’re going to need everything we’ve got to meet this latest threat, and perhaps more. In the end, though, this was Tempest’s choice to make and our promise to keep.”

As I had found out back when Twilight used her healing salve on me, basic repairs happened immediately but the healing effect could keep working for several hours after application. The horn-restoration treatment couldn’t change the long time-frame needed for the process. The big difference was in the degree of control over the procedure. The salve had gifted me with yard-long tufts of hair and massive feathers sticking wildly out of place. Immersing the subject in a healing pod and controlled delivery of the regeneration gel drastically slowed the speed of the regrowth. This allowed the mana channels to develop naturally. In any case, we had to wait until the next day to see the results.

Twilight invited Trixie and me to come to the room where Tempest had stayed overnight. It was the same laboratory where Penny had been healed months ago, though now populated with a half-dozen jumbo-sized pods. At least a dozen ponies and an equal number of changelings scurried about, paying the visitors no mind. The identical lab coats and reflective goggles made them all nearly as adorkable as our co-ruler. Trixie and I found the maroon unicorn standing proudly and showing off her new horn. It was slightly shorter than expected but otherwise perfect… well… except for the odd coloration. The bottom half-inch of the horn matched her coat, but from the point where the new growth had begun, it abruptly changed its hue to a golden yellow.

Twilight gave me a chagrined smile. “I never gave a moment’s thought to the horn’s color. I assumed it would match her original hue.”

Tempest said, “My mother’s horn was this color. I guess that’s where I got it from. It doesn’t matter.” The unicorn skipped a bit on her hooves and a beaming smile took over her face. I wondered if her mother would recognize her foal Fizzlepop Berrytwist at this moment. “I have a fully functional horn! After so many years without one, I can feel my magic is under control for the first time since my horn was broken.” The grinning unicorn did an adorable little dance. Then, with visible effort, Tempest dialed her expression back down to a nonchalant smile and she gave us a bow. “I am extremely thankful.”

I noticed a tremor in Tempest’s voice and her eyes were glistening. Despite her calm words, their were tears of joy leaking from the corners of her eyes. Only a lifetime of discipline was keeping her together right now. “We’ll leave you to start familiarizing yourself with your restored abilities. Let us know if you require an instructor or just someone to help practice. Just be certain to turn up for tomorrow morning’s all-hooves meeting.”

“I will be there, Your Highness – Your Highnesses. You have my eternal gratitude and loyalty.”

“Thank us by continuing to serve Equestria well, General.” I turned to my wife and Twilight. “Shall we go, ladies? I believe Tempest has some long-overdue horn practice to get in.” And in need of a little privacy to deal with her emotions, no doubt.

The next morning, the conference in the Canterlot Castle Great Hall began with a bit of a thud. Discord, Star Swirl, Somnambula, the Head Ranger Eagle Gaze, Pinkie, and Applejack were not in attendance. Weekly reports with vague plans of where ponies might be was a luxury we could no longer afford. After sending out dozens of ponies to track them down, we could expect everypony’s return in the next couple of days. The one exception was Star Swirl who had left to thoroughly explore three dimensions where he once took the Royal Sisters in hopes of finding them again. Of course, he didn’t bother to inform anyone of the coordinates of his destinations. On the plus side, Queen Sanguine Dreams and Apicula participated via their communication plates while Polistae, Trochanter, and Carpacia were in attendance. Queen Novo likewise attended remotely through her own communication plate.

Twilight pulled select members from her research teams to form a new one with the ponies, changelings, and griffons best qualified for a new project. Their job was to prevent no-shows from happening in the future by finding a way to mass-produce miniature versions of the communication plates.

Princess Diadem served as her sister’s go-between for the meeting. At first, I thought my advisor was just tracking down anyone that Queen Apicula wanted to speak with, but I overheard Diadem explaining to her sister the finer details of our countermeasures against rogue unicorns. Later, the princess took charge by moderating the side sessions on improving pony/changeling relations by leaps and bounds. Carpacia, Trochanter, and Trixie all deferred to Diadem’s authority for the purpose of keeping the meeting productive. During the lunch recess, my advisor announced an agreement hammered out between the hives and Equestria. Now that changelings had ready and open access to ponies, this was the perfect time for radical expansion. New towns consisting of an equal number of ponies and changelings would be founded throughout the less populated regions. Using the lessons learned by the Crystal Hive in Queen Trochanter’s home dimension, brand new, exciting communities would soon dot the countryside, integrating the two cultures like never before. Diadem’s wings buzzed in excitement and she smiled constantly. Such a transformation from the inexperienced changeling who recommended mandatory podding of Equestrian ponies only months ago.

Discord arrived fashionably late, at least I think that was the joke. I couldn’t think of any other reason for him to show up wearing a grandfather clock. He sat to the side knitting a baby blanket from a ball of yarn the same shimmering blue shade as Chrysalis’ mane and tail hairs. I refused to humor him by asking why that particular color, sticking to the topic of Equestria’s defense. With an apologetic nod, Discord explained to the Triarchs that the Precepts of Chaos would prevent him from taking an active role in our attempts to restore order to Equestria. “I’ll have to settle for being reactive, which can be just as much fun!” That left me more confused than when I started the conversation with him.

The conference with the power figures of Equestria and her allies had been progressing for several hours. Plans to deal with our foes both individually and in groups were being put forward and analyzed. Some were approved while others were rejected. There was surprisingly little infighting between the species which I put down to how truly concerned or even frightened that they all were of this unprecedented crisis. At least, that meant I didn’t have to butt their heads together to make them cooperate and I could concentrate on devising plans of my own.

At the dinner break, everyone gathered around the expansive dining table. The remotely attending Queens Apicula, Sanguine Dreams, and Novo had their communication plates set on the table in front of one of the chairs.

Queen Polistae happened to be seated next to Cadance. She leaned forward to catch her husband’s eye. “So, Prince Armor – is it true that your love is the most powerful in the entirety of Equus?”

Her timing was perfect and Shining practically choked on his drink. While he recovered, the queen turned to face an obviously displeased Cadance. Polistae’s smile, as always, conveyed goodwill and shrewdness in equal measure. “It would only stand to reason since he is married to the Alicorn of Love.”

Cadance’s expression softened, then she got a mischievous smirk. “Hmmm. I don’t honestly know. Perhaps one of my sister-in-law’s studies would be in order. How well can my husband share his love?”

Shining Armor stammered. “Wait. Cady… what?”

Cadance gave him a wide-eyed smile, the picture of innocence. “Purely for the purpose of increasing scientific knowledge, my dear. What could be more platonic than that?”

I chuckled. Cadance had been trying to get Shining to loosen up more around changelings. I figured this was as much tough-love therapy as much as an opportunistic prank.

Trixie said, “Indeed. While I suspect my stallion will only prove half as… potent in that area, he does have recent hoofs-on experience in the matter.”

Every changeling queen turned and their gazes bore into me, their swiveling ears betraying their sudden interest in the current topic of conversation. Maybe it was being around Princess Diadem every day at Day Court, but all the changeling attention didn’t faze me… this time. Instead, I rolled my eyes. “You just had to mention that, didn’t you dear?”

Rainbow Dash said, “You know, queenies, when a pony says something here in Equestria and they mean it, they’re willing to put a few bits down on the table to back it up.”

After a short silence, Rarity gave me a sly smile. “Here, my darling queens. Let me make it easy for you. I’ll bet a shiny bit that Prince Mark's love has over half the strength of Shining Armor's. Any takers?”

Carpacia rapped the table once with a hoof and I heard Sanguine Dreams do the same in her chamber. The Red Hive queen said, “Setting up testing conditions might be tricky. Princess Twilight, is it not best to keep the vict—, the subject ignorant that any test is happening?”

Twilight turned away from Thorax, “Hmm? Sorry, I didn’t catch all of that, but yes. The more relaxed and ignorant the test subject the better. If you’ll excuse me.” Our co-ruler returned to her discussion with her husband.

I felt a paw land on my back and a heard a familiar chuckle in my ear. Looking across the table, I saw Discord’s clawed hand emerging from a floating envelope to pat Shining Armor’s withers. “Oh, you two lucky, lucky stallions! To be the focus of so many mares. Why, there must be at least five other males in the world that would just die for such attention.”

Queen Trochanter said, “I’ll bet five hundred bits that the trickster god has more love than the two ponies combined.”

The draconequus froze. His eyes bounced on the table with a clatter, ending with them blinking at the realm’s newest changeling queen, freshly arrived from Chryssy’s dimension.

Queen Apicula asked, “What makes you so sure?”

In answer, Trochanter nodded her head towards Fluttershy. The pegasus was no longer butter yellow. Instead, her blush extended from bright red on her face down to light pink at the base of her tail. Silently, every other mare leaned back in their chairs. It seemed no being was fool enough to take that bet.

Twilight brought her attention back to the rest of the table. Her eyes settled on her brother. “What’s on your mind, B.B.B.F.F?”

The unicorn stallion looked up. “Nothing… it’s just… I have this nagging suspicion we’re overlooking something. Something big.”

Tempest Shadow snorted and a single spark rose from her horn. “I wouldn’t say ‘overlooked.’ More like ‘we looked hard but didn’t get any satisfying answers in our side session on the topic’.” She waved a hoof. “What is it that Grogar is thinking right now? The others we are familiar with to some extent and can prepare for.”

I turned the question back around on her. “Well, Tempest, if you were Grogar, what would you be doing?”

“I’d either be at this meeting in disguise or spying on it.” Then her brain seemed to catch up to her mouth. Her ears flattened down and her eyes darted around the table.

Queen Sanguine Dreams voice carried from her communication plate. “A reasonable concern. Everyling and pony, talk to your two closest beings. Use what you know to verify they are who they claim to be.” Princess Diadem repeated word-for-word what I had said to Cozy Glow during her appearance at Day Court and I listed off the names of all four griffons assigned to Night Guard duty.

I smirked as I turned around. Verifying my wife’s identity would be much more pleasant and would involve kissing. I stopped short when I saw a miniaturized Discord sitting on the edge of the table between Trixie and myself. He kicked his legs like a schoolfoal and pointed to his puckering lips. My wife finished her conversation with Twilight and regarded first Discord, then me. Her raised eyebrow and tight frown promised a week on the couch for the wrong answer.

Bringing my hoof up to my face, I pressed my lips to the frog of my hoof then blew the kiss Discord’s way. A horseshoe-shaped impression dented his cheek and the draconequus went limp, slumping bonelessly off the table and onto the floor.

My wife glanced across the table then back to me. She grinned. “Don’t look now, but The Stare just might be aimed your way.”

I didn’t look. Once was enough, thank you very much.

“Everyone checks out? That’s great!” Twilight beamed. “That just leaves espionage. Maybe… something we’d never think to look for?”

Starlight Glimmer said, “Like a trans-dimensional rift covering itself by warping light around itself?”

“Yes! Like that!” The purple alicorn lifted her head, horn glowing. “Now let’s see…”

The world went crazy, specifically, black and white crazy. I could see everyone and everything as black shadows with a white background that snapped to white silhouettes in front of a black sky. These two perspectives shifted back and forth a dozen times per second, threatening to overload my brain. A tan lion’s paw slammed into the table next to me and I stared at it, grateful at the island of normality. Looking up, I saw Discord was entirely unaffected by the otherworldly effect. His ears and gaze were focused at something over the table. “There,” he said.

Twilight shrank the flashing, color draining area until it encompassed a space a couple of feet across hovering well above the center of the table. Now that the flashing area filled only a small part of my vision, I could barely make out a perfect sphere the size of an adult’s hoof. It was only visible because the shifting black and white pattern lagged a bit around whatever it was.

Discord’s clawed arm stretched until he could flick the object with a talon. The sphere changed into a circular window showing a pale green eye with a red iris. White eyebrows rose and the window winked out right before a knife sailed through the space it had just occupied.

“Got it!”

Everyone turned to see Starlight Glimmer wearing a triumphant smile. “When it popped, the cloaking spell gave up its secrets. I’ve got a fairly good idea of how the eavesdropping window functions as well. Give Moony, Crispberry, and me a week and we’ll have those spells collapsing before they form. But for now…” Her horn flashed and a light blue glow filled the chamber. “… this will keep everything we say or do private.”

I saw Twilight’s magic return Penumbra’s knife to my scowling bodyguard. Apparently, the batpony had been hoping for a different outcome from her throw.

I winced. “Ok, everyone. We’ll have to throw out all of the strategies we’ve come up with so far because our enemy knows them. We’re going to mix up the members of each side session and start over from scratch.”

Trixie said, “And that will start tomorrow morning. I know many of you only planned to attend for a day, but the Triarchy asks you to stay on because of the change of circumstances.”

Twilight added, “Please take this evening to relax and let your imaginations roam free. We’ll meet up again after breakfast. The council is adjourned!”

Trixie and Twilight stood and walked away from the table. With an inrush of air, the purple mare teleported away. I quickly followed my wife.

Once we were alone in the hallway (well, excluding our bodyguards), I said, “Thanks, dear. I wasn’t thinking clearly. You’re right. Starting tomorrow would be better than an all-nighter.”

“Of course, Dowser.”

I noticed my wife’s tail twitching much more than usual. “Having our enemy spy on us made you nervous, didn’t it?”

“No, it’s just…” My wife ground her teeth. “Trixie will admit that seeing you talk to all those mares and queens made Trixie… even more appreciative of her husband.”

I smirked. “Not to mention possessive.”

Her wings fluttered. “Certainly not!” She narrowed her eyes. “Unless you intend to sleep on the couch when you should be showing me how much you love Trixie, you will drop that line of thought.”

I bowed as we walked. “As the Great and Sexy Empress Trixie demands, so shall it be done.”

“Indeed.” My wife leaned into me and gave my neck a nuzzle. “Trixie does indeed wish to feel like an empress tonight.”

Everyone stayed over to continue our planning and brainstorming. While we were engaged in these discussions, we had left instructions not to be disturbed unless a matter of vital importance came up. Therefore, it was with some surprise and a lot of dread that a soldier was allowed entrance to the conference hall. The Crystal Guard made his way over to Cadance and Shining Armor and had a quiet word with them. The Princess turned to face the rest of us, her expression etched with worry. “Gentlebeings, our city is under attack.”

Trixie asked, “Is it Grogar or one of his minions?”

“Neither. It seems that King Sombra has been resurrected through some unknown means. The city is besieged by shadow demons and mind-controlled ponies.”

There was a burst of frantic conversation as everyone tried to take in this new threat. My thoughts were consumed by the question of how a supposedly dead umbrum now lived again and who had revived him. Was it the work of Grogar and, if so, how were we supposed to defeat a power that could raise the dead to serve him?

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Well, at least we know that Grogar isn't Discord in disguise. It's a pity that that's all we know!

At least Tempest finally got her horn fixed. No doubt, she'll earn it though.

Art by Foxenawolf

Chapter 86 - Crystal City Conflict

Shining and Cadance stood up and headed towards the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked. All conversation stopped.

Cadance scowled at me. “Our subjects are under attack. We have to—”

“We are all under attack. Everyone at this table will be helping defend the Crystal Empire. You two are not going back alone. Your soldiers are instructed to evacuate your foals and the townsponies, aren’t they?” The royal couple nodded. “Then let’s prepare our response together.”

I turned to my co-ruler. “Twilight, you and the other Elements repelled an invasion from Sombra some years ago, correct? I don’t think our strategy sessions ever discussed what Sombra could have learned from that defeat. If you were him, how would you approach this invasion differently?”

Shining Armor and Cadance didn’t sit down, but within an hour we had a workable strategy in place with contingency plans.

The most powerful combatants would lead the charge: Twilight, Cadance, Shining, and me. Each of us carried a pair of communication plates on the outside of our saddlebags to provide intelligence back to the conference attendees. For my plates, Diadem was responsible for filtering their suggestions and observations. She would inform me as needed.

Behind us would come our bodyguards, then a full squad of twenty red changelings led by their Princess Oralia, the Night Guard Special Task Force, and the griffon squad. The last three would establish aerial superiority and provide reconnaissance. Royal Guardsponies soldiers would arrive after those groups with an emphasis on unicorns and hoof-to-hoof combat experts to subdue mind-controlled ponies without causing permanent damage.

Soon our assembled strike force entered the repurposed Great Hall. The tables had been removed and the room divided into sections. To the left, next to the two operating portals, a few poles were set in the ground with inactivate disks on top. Only two were active. As we watched, a nearby pegasus guardspony with a clipboard called out, “That’s the final soldier guarding CA17. Close it.” Another soldier touched the gateway with a nullstone ring attached to the end of a wooden dowel. The portal pulsed for a couple of seconds then cut out, leaving only one remaining. Through the last window to the Crystal Empire, I could only see a gray expanse. A curious side effect of the gateways removed all sense of depth from the scene on the other side. The portal could be facing a flat gray wall or an opaque cloud of smoke, there was no way to tell.

In the middle of the room, unicorns scanned the recently-arrived crystal ponies while a couple of medical drones examined them for injuries.

“Checking for mind-control magic?” I asked Twilight.

My co-ruler narrowed her eyes, looking critically at the spell being cast before nodding.

On the right side of the room, a few civilians and several Crystal Guardsmen talked to Equestrian soldiers who jotted down notes on clipboards. Gathering usable intelligence, I would imagine. That was confirmed when an earth pony mare galloped up to us.

She snapped off a salute. “Your Highnesses, Major Igneous Strata reporting. The shield around Crystal City is still holding back the shadow demons. Bright light obliterates them but there are always more to take their place.” Pointing to the final remaining open gateway, the mare said, “The Crystal Guard retreated to the castle to provide cover for the last of the escaping citizens. We estimate over two hundred were brainwashed and now fight for Sombra.” She gestured to the poles that stood nearby. “Four emergency escape portals from the city outskirts remain inactivated and intact. Do you want them opened for your deployment?”

I replied, “We considered that in the counsel and decided to concentrate our forces.”

I turned to Shining Armor. “No other portals lead out of the Empire, correct? Sombra has to go through us if he wants to escape.”

The stallion said, “Correct. Although he will try to consolidate his hold on the Empire first.”

Twilight asked, “Lieutenant, are the enslaved ponies wearing a metal helmet with green light emanating from the eye-slits?”

“Around half, Your Highness. The others look normal except for their eyes which glow green.”

I shared a look with Twilight. That was new and troubling. The Sombra we encountered briefly in an alternate history didn’t show that ability.

Cadance said, “Have Shiny Button and Flurry Heart come through the portals?”

Igneous Strata said, “Shiny Button and his nurse arrived an hour ago. He and the rest of the evacuees are in Hurricane Courtyard.” She flipped through the pages on her clipboard. “I don’t think… No, we haven’t seen—”

A changeling drone staggered out of the remaining open portal, grabbing everypony’s attention. She was bleeding from her forehead and chest. I recognized her as Flurry’s nanny, Bright Wing.

Despite having her eyes nearly closed because of the blood, she caught sight of Cadance and Shining while waving off the medical drone who had come over. “Your Highnesses! Flurry Heart wiggled out of my grasp when I got outside! She flew off of the castle grounds but I couldn’t find her!”

I looked over my shoulder. “Is everybody ready?” I received determined looks from Penumbra, Crimson, and the other royal bodyguards. After that were nods from Princess Oralia, Griffon Squad Commander Ragged Beak, General Crushing Blow, and the thestral Colonel Dusky Wings, the last with a pronounced scowl. Sorry, soldier… yet another day operation. Behind them stretched lines of their troops waiting for the order to go.

I looked at Shining. “Lead us through.”

All four of us charged our horns and moved forward. Just as Cadance passed through the portal, I was distracted by a flash to my right. Bright Wing’s eyes opened fully, showing a bright green glow. She was throwing something at the portal that I recognized as a nullstone ring just as it penetrated the magical barrier.

“Now, Twilight!” I yelled as I poured on the speed. My stomach lurched as I cleared the collapsing field. I collided into Cadance’s rear followed immediately by what I presumed Twilight smashing into mine. Any desire to throw up disappeared when I saw a mace descending toward my skull. I jumped forward, blocking the forearm of the attacking pony with my forehoof. A familiar gray mask with green, glowing eye-slits covered the head of my assailant. An attempt to shove them away with magic did nothing. Once again, years of hoof-to-hoof training kicked in. I pushed my attacker onto their heels then spun and bucked. As it crashed through rows of ponies, I saw that all had glowing green eyes but only about half wore masks. That’s when I noticed my vision was obscured by a cloud of grey dust that grew thicker in the distance. I could barely see the bottom of Crystal Castle which couldn’t be more than a mile away. Nullstone dust.

Bucking away another entranced pony, my brain kicked into gear. How had the portal worked with all the nullstone dust in the air? I spared a glance past the portal and got my answer. Beyond the gateway lay a street reaching toward the edge of town. Nothing obscured my view of the houses along the way except hordes of subjugated ponies.

Striking out with my wings and forehooves, I created a small pocket of space. I leaped onto the top of the inactive portal frame and jumped outwards, spreading my wings to glide. A crowd of green-glowing eyes craned their heads to follow me and dozens of hooves reached upward. I fell into their midst just as magic flowed through me again. I crouched and leaped into the air, ignoring the flailing blows from all sides. Unfortunately, several hooves gripped my sides and rear legs so I only got my head, shoulders, and barrel above the crowd. I transformed into Marklestia and used my wings to blow a hurricane-force wind toward my friends who were obscured by the portal. I saw everypony in a ten-foot swath fall onto their backs as the entranced ponies dragged me back to the ground. I tried to spin in place to ward off my attackers but stumbled on a pony wrapped around my legs.

“Ears!”

That was Twilight using the Royal Canterlot Voice. I dutifully clapped my forehooves over mine, my enchanted horseshoes cutting out all sound even as impacts rocked my body.

As one, everypony around me fell to their knees, clutching their heads with both forehooves. Those without helmets collapsed almost immediately, followed a couple of seconds later by our helmeted foes.

After counting slowly to five, I put my forehooves on the ground and struggled free from the pile of ponies covering me like a blanket. I flapped my wings to look over the portal, only to see my friends standing fifty feet to my right, clear of the unconscious horde. Twilight or Cadance must have teleported them there. As I angled my wings to meet them, Shining raised a shield, deflecting a blast of black energy. Forewarned, I raised my shield and looked to the castle. There on a balcony stood a familiar pony — Sombra wore his plate mail and flowing red cloak. He sneered as he pointed his blood-red horn directly at me and fired. I dodged upward but needn’t have bothered. The remnants of the nullstone cloud dissolved his magic well before it got close.

As I landed behind Shining, I saw a nullstone tracking band uncoil on its path toward the unicorn mage. Sombra didn’t try to blast or stop the band. Instead, he teleported away in a burst of dark magic.

The band slowed, stopped, then flew back to Cadance’s outstretched hoof. She said, “Help should be arriving any second from the other four portals.”

Her husband said, “Unless Sombra knew about them and had them destroyed when he sprung this trap.”

I winced. “No one brought another disk with them, did they?”

Everypony frowned and shook their heads. Twilight said, “For the moment, it looks like we are on our own.” Looking down at my two communication plates confirmed what she said. I tried to re-activate my plates and they stubbornly remained opaque. Looking up, I saw my friends having the same lack of success.

I said, “Bright Wing was mind-controlled. She threw a nullstone ring to destabilize the portal.”

Cadance narrowed her eyes. “Then everything she said is suspect, if not an outright lie. Flurry Heart is probably still sleeping in her room.”

I recalled how she awoke only briefly after the battle at the Crystal Hive, returning to slumber in her mother’s hooves rather than caring about the chaos of the combat’s aftermath surrounding her. That foal could sleep through anything.

Shining Armor said, “Twilight, can you teleport all of us to Flurry’s room?” His sister nodded and charged her horn.

“Wait!” Everyone looked at me. “That’s exactly what Sombra would expect. Her nanny has a room attached to Flurry’s bedroom, correct?” I got three nods. “Then let’s go there. It may give us the half-second we need.”

The stallion stared at the castle for a few moments before turning to his left. “You’re right. Everypony face this direction.”

Twilight and I pulled out nullstone tracking bands and crouched.

The purple alicorn counted down, “Three… two… one…”

With the familiar lurch of disorienting magic, all of us appeared in an unfurnished room composed of crystal walls, floor, and ceiling. Directly in front of us, Sombra spun our way and fired a bolt of black magic that Twilight’s hastily raised shield absorbed with an uncanny, bubbling effect. I readied to throw my nullstone band until I noticed that a slumbering Flurry Heart rested against the unicorn’s chest armor, loosely held by a foreleg. If Twilight dropped the shield, I could disable the stallion mage, but not prevent him from harming his captive. The band would only render its wearer unconscious if they were unwise enough to attempt to cast a powerful spell.

Sombra stopped his attack and dark tendrils snaked through the crystal floor under our hooves. Spires of black crystal sprouted rapidly from beneath us.

Bitch, please.

I was only proficient at one aspect of earth pony magic, but I could do that one thing very, very well. Concentrating, I made the spires shrink back into the crystal floor and imagined a river of water washing all the dark magic away. The inky darkness in the floor retreated until it stopped perhaps six feet away from the stallion. The black area flowed around and behind him like the wake of a boat. I clenched my jaw. Once again, the strength of my earth pony magic grew weaker the further away it was from my body. For his part, Sombra glared at Twilight and bared his teeth. Fine. If he mistakenly thought this was her doing, that was one more slight advantage for us.

His expression changed into a confident smirk. “Ah, so good of you to come to my summons so promptly. You have a choice, Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor. Either—”

I interrupted his monologue. “Ah-ha! It is Twiggy!” I ignored Sombra and turned to Twilight. “I told you it was Twiggy.”

That finally got Sombra to look at me. He fumed and sputtered. “I am Sombra, Dread Lord of the Crystal Empire! How dare you—”

I looked back at the stallion and waved a hoof. “I know who you are. We’ve met before. That’s how you got your nickname.”

Sombra stammered a moment. “You are insane. We have never—”

I tapped the back of my neck. “Your neck armor… crinet, right? Anyway, it’s designed to spread out the impact of blows but that’s it. It doesn’t provide your neck with any torsional reinforcement, especially at the base of your skull. We saw the bottom of your neck impaled and fixed in place, then your head whipped around to face your rear. The sound of the self-styled King of Equestria having his neck broken… well... that’s not the sort of thing you ever forget. Kind of like a dry twig snapping, wouldn’t you say, Twilight?”

“It was the weak connection between the first and second cervical vertebrae. It sounded more like a tree branch, but live wood, not dead.” She shivered. “Please don’t remind me, I still have nightmares.”

“Fine, fine,” I laughed as I turned back to the unicorn. “Anyway, you should surrender now, or do you want history to repeat itself?”

Sombra blinked uncertainly for a moment, then his scowl returned. “Shut up, fool! I am not talking to you. Empress Cadance, you have a choice: your kingdom or your spawn?” His yell woke up Flurry and she looked around. The alicorn filly smiled upon seeing her mother. A tighter squeeze from Sombra ended Flurry’s attempts to reach for Cadance, causing the filly to look up.

Shining and Cadance shared a knowing look. Shining said, “Well, it has finally come to pass.”

Flurry’s mane clip glowed for a moment then winked out. From her spot held next to Sombra’s chest, he could not have noticed.

Cadance smiled at the dark stallion. “Very well, Sombra, you win.”

Cadance and Shining walked cautiously into the room while Sombra backed up to keep us at the same distance. Twilight and I followed close behind.

Sombra smiled. “You will all lower your shields and submit to my will. I do not require your oaths of obedience. I have more reliable methods of ensuring that.”

Flurry’s parents backed up until the four of us were on the far side of the room and we reached the door to the chamber, Twilight’s shield protecting us the whole time. Shining motioned for Twilight and me to go through the open door into the hallway. As he did so, he said to Sombra, “No. You misunderstand.”

The dark unicorn frowned. “What? What do you mean?”

First I, then Twilight backed out of the room. Shining Armor said, “Flurry, you have a new dad now. Bye-bye. You’ll never see old mommy or daddy ever again.” Our friend turned deliberately away from his foal, strode through the door, and out of Flurry’s line of sight.

Flurry Heart lowered her outstretched forelegs. Her smile fell. “Blurble?”

Sombra scoffed and he pulled the foal tighter against his armor. “A trick! You two would never—”

Cadance backed out through the doorway. “Oh, and Flurry Heart? You are a bad filly. Mommy hates you.” She then closed the door, cutting off the bellows of the unicorn stallion. The pink alicorn turned to Twilight. “Outside, now!”

Twilight teleported the four of us to the outskirts of the main courtyard. We stood far enough away from the center to easily see the top of the tower. The Crystal Heart spun perhaps three hundred feet away, directly under the arches that supported the castle. Large piles of lavender fabric lay near the archways, which took me a second to recognize. The curtains that used to cover the area directly under the castle had been torn away and discarded. Now we could see the far side of the courtyard and city past the Crystal Heart.

“Wait for it,” said Shining Armor.

The wail of his foal tore through the air, shattering a nearby crystal statue. Beams of uncontrolled magic sliced through the castle and into the city, cutting through buildings like they were paper.

Sombra teleported to the other side of the courtyard, smoke pouring off his body and part of his mane gone. His cape also appeared to be on fire. Twilight and I threw our tracking suppression bands as one. The stallion raised a dome of clear crystal three-ponies-high and the nullstone strips bounced ineffectually against the surface. Cadance’s horn glowed and the screams of her daughter sharply decreased in volume while the smacks of the bands striking the crystal sounded like they were directly in front of us. Through the slight distortion of the translucent crystal, I saw Sombra look down at his melted chest armor. I heard him mutter, “Damn Tartarus-spawn.” Cadance must have cast a communication spell linking us sonically to an area just outside his protective dome. That allowed us to hear him, and vice versa. I tried to pull his protective rock shield back into the ground but encountered stiff resistance. Once again, I was too far away.

Twilight’s horn glowed brightly and she nodded. Finally, a part of our strategy was going according to plan. My co-ruler maintained a temporal static spell powerful enough to prevent any teleportation within a mile radius. The four of us advanced on the unicorn. He was pinned down and I just needed to get closer to poke a hole in his protective layer of rock which would end the fight.

Cadance demanded, “How did you return, Sombra? Who restored you and made you their thrall?”

The unicorn’s head shot up and he snarled. “I am a slave to no one!”

Shining said, “Who is helping you? Who brought you back from the brink of death?”

Our progress stopped when a powerful wail created shock waves in the air, shattering the Crystal Heart.

Shining glared at Sombra. “You idiot! You mentally defective fool! Now the endless winter will swallow the entire Empire! Because of you!”

I yelled, “At least we get to watch you freeze to death alongside us!” We started forward again.

Sombra shuffled on his hooves, his face indecisive.

Another of Flurry’s screams pierced the air. Looking up, I could just see the top of the castle over the bending arch that sheltered the central courtyard of the castle. A beam of magic from Flurry’s horn cleaved free the topmost portion of the spire. It began its slow fall toward the far end of the courtyard. All four of us stopped and layered our shields concentrically around our group. Looking ahead, a black portal appeared behind Sombra and he stepped through. We got a quick glimpse of a cave through the gateway before the portal shrunk and disappeared. We kept up our shields, knowing the shrapnel was going to be tremendous. I looked at the broken shards of the Crystal Heart and my eyes went wide. I remembered Starlight telling me in detail how she and Sunburst had reassembled and healed the powerful artifact. If the pieces got scattered by the broken shards of the tower or got mixed in…

I dropped my shield and reformed it around the Crystal Heart’s remains just as the castle’s spire hit the ground and exploded. Sombra’s protective dome popped as the tower’s fragments swept it away like a bamboo shack in a tidal wave. I grit my teeth as the shield strained and cracked even as I poured in as much magic as I could. Finally, it shattered. I grabbed my head, trying to ride out the migraine caused by magical feedback. I felt a comforting wing on my withers as I drew in sharp breaths. At last, I recovered enough to look up. Debris surrounded the center of the courtyard but the broken remains of the Crystal Heart had not been swept away.

Shining Armor said, “Twilight, our enemy could be observing us.”

Twilight lifted her head and the lavender glow of her magic filled the air. Following her gaze, I saw a spot high overhead flash black twice then return to show the normal sky. I doubted my friend would cease casting her interfering magic anytime soon.

Shining turned to face me. “That was quick thinking. You good?” With a wince, I nodded in the affirmative, earning me a clop on the shoulder. “Cadance and I will calm down Flurry. You two find a way to bring back Sunburst, Starlight, our citizens, lots of powerful unicorns, and even more troops.” With a flash, Cadance teleported the two of them away.

Twilight asked, “Can you fly?”

I spread my wings and checked my ability to channel magic into them. “No, not yet.” Lavender filled my vision as Twilight’s magic lifted me off the ground.

She said, “Let’s see if they’re already here.”

We rose into the sky, both of us within Twilight’s protective shield, which was nice. I didn’t want to be cut in half by one of the foal’s stray blasts. Suddenly, the wailing and hornbeams cut off.

My friend angled her wings downward. Griffons, changelings, and batponies rose into the air from one of the suburban areas of the city. Twilight and I alighted in front of the ground forces galloping our way.

As the troops came to a stop, I recognized General Crushing Blow, Crimson Boulder, and Penumbra leading the group. Dusky Wings, Princess Oralia, and Ragged Beak landed beside them.

Twilight pointed to a spot near the castle. “Sombra has retreated. There are between 220 and 230 unconscious ponies at the edge of the courtyard, both with and without helmets. Each of them was under Sombra’s control. They all have broken eardrums. Do not awaken them until they have been healed and their mind-control neutralized. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Your Highness!” chorused everybeing in front of us. The flyers took off while Crushing Blow gave orders to different squads.

Penumbra had been using the time to look me up and down. She growled out, “From your bruises, I’d say you’ve been putting yourself in mortal danger without your bodyguards… again.”

I snorted. “Would I do that?”

She showed me her fangs. “I am so going to kick your rump all the way to next Tuesday for abandoning us.”

I snorted. “I love you too, Penny.” Then I got serious. “You get to wait until after the situation is under control.” The batpony nodded.

Time to change the subject. “I take it the remaining four portals didn’t work?”

Crimson said, “Exactly. As your intelligence predicted, it seems Sombra can issue commands to all his troops simultaneously. The four corresponding portal disks in the Empire were destroyed at the same time your portal collapsed. We polled all the evacuated citizens to find out if any other daggerscale portal disks remained in the Crystal City. Sunburst remembered he had one in a desk drawer in his study. There was a delay while a pegasus used the portal connection to the Castle of Friendship to retrieve its counterpart.”

Penumbra waved her hoof to get our attention. “Normally, trying to open a daggerscale portal in an enclosed space gives you an immediate fail. Starlight Glimmer overloaded the portal when it opened. That destroyed the desk but gave us enough time to throw four more portal disks through the gateway before it failed. Rinse and repeat until we got a weighted pole through that stayed upright and stable. Knock out some walls and windows and we had a serviceable egress point.”

I winced along with Twilight. We’d have to make it up to Sunburst later. Unfortunately, his retreat of scholarly pursuits got caught up in a war zone. Sometimes, the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the one.

General Crushing Blow turned back to face me, a sizeable contingent of troops awaiting our orders. “I recommend we get Your Highnesses to safety.”

The first wisps of snow blew across my vision, reminding me that we weren’t out of the woods yet. I said, “No. The Crystal Heart has shattered and we need to repair it.”

My co-ruler said, “General, send someone back to get Sunburst and Starlight Glimmer. Tell them what happened and have them brought here along with all the refugees. Also, we’ll need a foal for the Crystalling Ceremony. Doesn’t matter whose.”

That sparked a memory and I turned to face Twilight. “Wasn’t Rarity involved in some way?”

“Oh! You’re right. She identified the purest diamond seed crystal.” She turned to the General. “Bring the Element of Generosity as well.”

The towering mare only needed to look up at a hovering pegasus stallion who saluted and took off at high speed the way the troops had come.

By the time we galloped back into the Crystal Palace courtyard, Cadance was tossing a giggling Flurry Heart in the air and catching her. “Who’s a good filly who set that mean old stallion on fire? You are!” Her daughter squealed in delight as her mother’s magic caught her right-side-up then upside-down. I made a mental note to discuss parenting styles with the Alicorn of Love at a later date.

Shining Armor looked over the troops. “Soldiers! Clear the rubble away from the central courtyard but do not disturb the crystal shards at the center.”

Twilight and I walked up to the remains of the Crystal Heart. I had recovered enough of my magic to levitate a few pieces in the air. “3D puzzle?”

She smiled. “Exactly! With your help, I estimate it will take half the time to solve, so about twelve minutes!”

It took a bit over thirty. Having two ponies trying to sort pieces according to different rules made it worse than just a single pony working alone. I wish I could claim that the extra time lined up perfectly with all the other ingredients for the ceremony arriving, but the fact of the matter was that I delayed the start of the Crystalling by at least five minutes. Twilight grumbled to herself as she took her place next to Starlight Glimmer in the ring of unicorns surrounding the center of the courtyard. The purple alicorn levitated the reconstituted artifact between the crystal spires that sat above and below the Crystal Heart. I moved quickly out of the circle to avoid their magic beams that focused on the symbol of the Crystal Empire. I heard a ringing sound as the hairline fractures slowly began to shrink.

Trixie came up and hoofed Gemini onto my back, currently a unicorn filly. That gave me a wonderful reason to ignore Twilight, who continued to glare and scowl at me even as she poured magic into the Crystal Heart.

My wife said, “Because we were so rudely deprived of the chance of experiencing the Crystalling when we visited, Trixie decided this was the perfect time to right that wrong.” She tousled the mane of our foal, who smiled back with their eyes closed. They were very happy just snuggling next to either parent in their cocoon of thick blankets.

I kissed my wife then trotted to a raised platform under the nearest archway. The remaining Elements of Harmony, Sunburst, Cadance, and Shining Armor waited for us there. I positioned myself in front of the rulers of the Crystal Empire, blinking away the snow that blew directly into my face. Should have turned around when I had the chance. Too late now.

Cadance and Shining Armor crossed their horns and a golden glow appeared above me. Gemini floated off my back and into the center of the field. They shifted into pegasus colt form and spread their wings, tossing away the blankets. Our foal giggled because the effect was tickling them.

Wait. How did I know that?

Then I noticed that my hooves were no longer on the crystal floor. I was being sucked up into the golden aura as well.

Trixie snorted and lit her horn, dragging me down to the ground and out of the way. “A poor time to upstage our foal, Dowser.”

We trotted next to Rarity who held a spike-shaped diamond out toward Sunburst. For his part, the stallion’s expression was blank and he had the ‘million-mile stare’ on his face. Poor guy. He must have come in through the portal in the remains of his house. I’d have to tell Cadance later that Sunburst needed her counseling services for his case of shellshock.

Trixie jabbed him in the barrel with a horseshoe, making him stumble. “Take the stage. You’re up.”

Sunburst blinked a few times, rubbing his side. Rarity moved the diamond closer to his face and arched an eyebrow.

“What? Oh, yes! Of course!”

He took the offered gem and trotted to the edge of the platform. After taking a deep breath, Sunburst held out a hoof as his voice carried out over the assembled crystal ponies. “Citizens! Today, Equestria and her allies came to your defense, repelling the ancient threat of Sombra and restoring peace to our realm! Now, we strengthen the bonds between our kingdoms! May I present to you the newest citizen of the Crystal Empire, Prince—”

“Ohhhhh!” gasped the crowd.

Sunburst stopped with a frown then looked over his shoulder, blinking at our foal, now a happily giggling unicorn filly.

He faced the crowd with a renewed smile. “Princess—”

“Ahhhhh!” exclaimed the citizens.

Another glance. The unicorn’s voice dropped a bit in volume. “Prince—”

“Ohhhh!”

“Ahhhh!”

“Ohhhh!”

“Ahhhh!”

Sunburst’s eye twitched a bit. “The first foal of Princess Trixie Lulamoon and Prince Mark Wells… Gemini!”

“YAYYYYYYY!”

After the cheers and hoof stomping died out, the closest citizen bowed her head. She placed one forehoof well in front of them and lifted the other in supplication. One by one, other citizens joined her. As they did so, a pale blue light emanated from the ground beneath them. As more and more crystal ponies did the same, the effect spread faster and faster across the ground until the courtyard and every street glowed intensely.

Sunburst lowered the gem until it touched the floor. The light blue glow drained into the diamond until no more remained in the ground. With the glowing gem in hoof, the stallion ran back to the ring of unicorns surrounding the Crystal Heart. After pushing himself through, he touched the diamond to the gleaming artifact, causing it to let out alternating flashes of lavender and blue light. The unicorns stopped their flow of magic as the Crystal Heart spun faster and faster. With one more pulse of light, the glow disappeared, showing a single piece of unblemished crystal.

Suddenly, a bright wave of blue light exploded outward. I covered my eyes for a moment and when I uncovered them, all the ponies in front of me shone with the translucent, faceted glory I had seen once before.

I turned to look at Penumbra, who frowned at her extended wings. The effect didn’t appear to be her favorite thing in the world. I smirked. “Golly, Miss Penumbra. What an improvement! You almost look cute and cuddly now!”

Her glare shifted to me and she pulled her spear from its holder. “There’s an experiment I’ve been wanting to try on see-through ponies. Hold still.”

My wife moved in front of me. “Most perceptive of you, Lieutenant. The Great and Powerful Trixie had the same idea. You are in charge of Gemini. Come along, Dowser.”

Dutifully, I trotted after Trixie, leaving a gaping Penny behind us. My wife said, “Pinkie will ensure everypony will be celebrating for some time.” Her grin turned a bit more salacious. “Since our last visit to this city, Trixie has had… some ideas and brought the necessary supplies. Our friends won’t miss us for an hour.”

My brain was trying to catch up. “An hour?”

Trixie shrugged. “Or so.”

The next afternoon found Crispberry sprawled on my chair in the Canterlot Castle Great Hall, forcing me to stand. “It’s a good thing that somepony was smart enough to throw a time-stop spell on Bright Wing. If they hadn’t, we wouldn’t know anything!”

Moon Dancer had the decency to look a bit embarrassed for her fellow researcher. The Southern Wastes Hive drone didn’t have any such problem, waving his forehooves for emphasis while he propped his rear hooves on the table.

Crispberry continued after lifting his goggles, showing off his yellow compound eyes. “Every single helmet and control block in the Crystal Empire shorted out, probably when Sombra skedaddled. No magic residue, no spell signatures, no clues as to how his magic or devices work. Nothing!”

King Thorax held up a hoof. “Sorry. What’s a control block?”

The drone tossed a small rectangular item my way, which I caught automatically. It appeared to be made of porcelain with metal inscribed etchings on one side.

Moon Dancer said, “All ponies without helmets and most of those with helmets had one of these attached at the base of the skull. They are hidden by an invisibility charm when active. We determined how they take control of the host by overriding the higher cognitive functions. Sombra passes his voice orders via an encrypted transmission. The good news is that we know how to block it. That way, any entranced pony has to be close enough to hear the new commands. The bad news is that commands can be given that are only acted out later, as we saw with Bright Wing. Also, Sombra almost certainly won’t use the same encryption key again. We can’t give overriding orders on that same magical frequency. Unless we can capture a new control block, reverse engineer the new encryption key, then transmit it. That would take ten hours on average.”

I turned over the innocuous object in my hooves. I said, “How well did our countermeasures work?”

Crispberry barked out a laugh. “You mean how badly did they not work? Crystal Empire soldiers and the few citizens with training to resist mind control report they were incapacitated by the control blocks. While they struggled against that, another pony dropped a helmet on them and – BAM! – instant convert to the worship of thousand-year-old ponies that by all rights should be dead.”

The silence in the room was total. Every pony guard shifted their eyes to glare at Crispberry. To my surprise, that seemed to get through to the otherwise socially inept drone. Either that or he tasted the emotion of unfiltered hostility directed his way from all sides. He pulled his hooves off the table and folded his ears back. “Uhhh… no offense intended. Wasn’t talking about, you know, Celestia or Luna.”

I sighed. Here we go again. “So given what we have learned, what are new ideas on how to counteract our foes: Sombra, Tirek, Cozy Glow, the Storm King, and Grogar. Let’s go, everyone. The crazier the ideas, the better.”

This time, the discussion did not stop after dinnertime and continued late into the night.

#

When it came to earth pony magic, I had proved to be pretty much a one-trick alicorn. That had to change. While Crimson Boulder was an excellent teacher of unarmed combat, he was not a specialist in all the types of magic that earth ponies were capable of, especially the more subtle ones. While you might think that the ability to grow things fast was hardly a battle tactic, the alicorn challenge by Twilight years back had shown how devastating one plant could be with enough power behind it. Nevertheless, while power was not an issue, control was. Therefore, I was now being taught by the Element Bearer of Honesty on how to harvest apples.

I can already imagine people scoffing at that, but have they ever seen how the Apple Family does it? They buck the trees! I mean, how the hell do you expect that to work? Except that it does. The trees tremble and the ripe apples not only fall, they almost invariably land safely in the baskets arrayed under the tree. That is control. And that is what I lacked in spades. I had been remarkably good at getting them to fall on my head though and it was getting somewhat bruised and not a little juicy. The harder I tried, the worse it seemed to get. It got to the point that apples were falling off the trees even as I approached them!

“Now look what ya done! You up and skeered them,” Applejack scolded me.

“I’m trying to persuade them like you told me, not terrify them!” I complained.

“Mah family has been bucking apples fer decades and even a foal can do better’n that. Try again.”

I scowled and glared at my latest target. I sized it up, turned around, pictured what I was trying to achieve to focus my magic, and then gave the trunk a hard buck. With a mighty crack, a large branch broke off and brained me. As I lay there waiting for the world to stop spinning, Applejack walked over, shaking her head.

“Ah should have known better. These trees have a bone ta pick with you.”

“Wh… what do you mean?” I asked dizzily.

“Ah just remembered – this is the orchard ya done tore up durin’ yer flight lessons. Seems they’ve been holdin’ a grudge.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said as I struggled to my hooves.

“Nope. Best thing ya can do is ta say yer sorry.”

“Buh?”

I spent the next three hours hugging, apologizing, and helping grow every last tree in that orchard. Who knew that trees held grievances? When I tried to hurry things along, Applejack told me that wasn’t good enough.

“Think like ya was a tree,” she said.

I made sure to spend a full minute talking to each one.

When I reached the final apple tree in the last row, I asked, “Am I done now?”

“Ya sure are!”

I sighed with relief.

“Ya can start with the South Orchard tomorrow.”

#

One of the best things about married life is curling up in bed with Trixie after a hard day. We liked to spoon and, some nights, she showed off her role as lead mare and protector by being the big spoon. Most times though, I was the one who had his legs wrapped in embracement of my wife, my wing spread over both of us. She felt loved and I felt that all was right with the world, even if the leg underneath my spouse sometimes went to sleep. Totally worth it. We both slept well and soundly like this most nights. Not tonight though.

I was awoken by noises in the room. It sounded like flapping but not quite like Gemini’s wings. Then I heard scurrying. Were there vermin in the room? I let go of Trixie and rolled over, lighting my horn with a gentle glow. The first thing I saw was a white face with big eyes, nose to nose with me.

“GAH! What the buck?!”

I lurched back, bumping hard into Trixie. Between the shout and the physical abuse, my wife woke up, grumbling.

“Why are you disturbing Trixie’s beauty sleep, Pugmark Cowbells?”

I recognized the culprit now. It was Tiberius, the opossum pet that had belonged to Luna. Nowadays, he was much like a house cat – demanding the nearest pony feed him and then ignoring everypony for the rest of the day. No one bothered to do anything more for the opossum but at least he seemed to be housebroken. Given that, I decided to ignore him for now. It was Trixie who spotted the source of the other noise that had disturbed my slumber.

“Philomena?”

The phoenix was perched on the bedpost and she was quickly joined by Tiberius. Unlike the possum, Philomena had left the castle soon after the Royal Sisters disappearance and had not been seen again. Now the two pets stared at the large full-length oval mirror up against the wall. I no longer needed to illuminate the room with my horn because the mirror was now glowing and rapidly getting brighter.

Trixie and I leaped out of bed. While she headed over to Gemini’s crib to pick up our foal, I stumbled (darn leg fell asleep again!) over to the trigger for the emergency evacuation spell. One tap and the wards around our room would drop and we would be teleported away to a safe destination. Twilight had set that up for us so I was confident enough in its efficacy to allow whatever was happening to continue without scramming immediately.

As streamers of light grew to blinding proportions, a silhouette blocked some of the radiance and something seemed to step through the mirror, much like one of the portals we used. Another silhouette quickly followed the first. The light died down enough for me to get a good look at our visitors. I gasped in shock and my hoof dropped away from the trigger.

Two alicorns dressed in samurai-style armor complete with banners glared about themselves. They wore demon-visage masks that hung from chains around their necks. Both had polearms raised and ready to use, although that did not seem to deter the two pets. Philomena flew over to land on the white alicorn’s helmet. She spread her wings and cawed happily. Tiberius scurried up the armor of the dark blue one and hung by the tail from the crescent moon adorning her helmet. I’d never met either of them but I knew who they were instantly.

“Celestia? Luna? You’re back!”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Who cares about the big battle? The Royal Sisters are back!

Art by Mix-up.

Chapter 87 - Catching Up

Calling out the names of the long-missing alicorn princesses might have been a mistake because it focused their attention and polearms solely on me. I wilted a little under their wary gaze but then stiffened my resolve. I wasn’t the intruder here.

Celestia frowned. “Who are you and what are you doing in my…” She looked around. “…not in my chambers?” Turning back to me, her eyes widened. “An alicorn stallion? How can this be?”

Luna spoke up. “Sister – is that not thy student?” She pointed at Trixie with her polearm.

Celestia tore her eyes away from me to look at my wife. The Solar Alicorn’s jaw dropped. “Beatrix Lulamoon? What is going on here?”

“The Great and Powerful Princess Trixie would ask the same of you!” she replied defiantly.

Luna turned to her sister and said, “Tia – hast thou brought us to the correct dimension?”

The white alicorn said, “It has to be, Lulu. The affinity component of the portal spell could only link up with an object that I am personally acquainted with. The same mirror in another dimension would not work.”

“Mayhap, but mine eyes tell me a different story.”

While the sisters bickered, I covertly checked one of the many discreet contingency spells in the room. This particular one would cause a jewel decoration on my nightstand to glow red if it detected disguised changelings. However, it was not reacting to the interlopers so at least that possibility was virtually eliminated. A month ago, Moon Dancer examined the spell placed there by the Guild of Mages and rolled her eyes. ‘As long as it helps you sleep better, I guess that means it does something.’ Since even she set it off before examining the jewel, the precaution did actually make me feel better.

On the other hoof, perhaps Luna was correct and this wasn’t their world. I felt it was time I took control of this situation and ask a few questions. “Ladies! Could I have your attention please!”

That drew the alicorns’ gaze back to me, their weapons ready to strike.

“For starters, could you put those down?” I asked, pointedly looking at the instruments of mayhem. “You’re the ones who barged into our bedroom, not the other way around.”

They had the grace to look embarrassed as they brought their polearms up to a rest position.

“Thank you. Now, I gather that you are the Princesses Celestia and Luna who disappeared long ago?”

Luna raised an eyebrow. “I would hardly consider a couple of months that long, even though we were delayed by a broken portal.”

Trixie exclaimed, “A couple of months? You’ve been gone for nearly four years!”

“What?!” they chorused, both reeling back in shock. “How is that possible?” Celestia added.

I recalled my encounter with Sunset Shimmer and face-hoofed. “Don’t tell me, let me guess – you didn’t take into account the time differential between here and wherever you went to?”

Celestia’s face went even whiter making me realize that the alicorn normally had the faintest blush of pink to her coat color. “Oh, by the sun! I’m such a fool. I had completely forgotten that aspect. Star Swirl would be disgusted with me for forgetting my lessons on the nature of interdimensional time variance.”

“What dost thou mean, sister?” Luna asked, giving Celestia a glare.

“Time runs at different rates in other realities. Some are identical to ours while others run much slower or faster. The portal to that realm kept our time-streams synchronized but the spell that did so broke along with the gateway. Days spent there were months here.”

“You can get Star Swirl to give you a refresher course later,” I said.

“He disappeared over a thousand years ago,” Celestia replied.

“I talked to him last month.” At their shocked expressions, I added, “Don’t look at me like that – plenty has happened in your absence.”

Luna said, “One can imagine! Without their princesses, the kingdom must have devolved into chaos.”

Celestia shook her head. “No, I left Twilight Sparkle in charge. While she would not have been completely ready to take over the throne, I have been preparing her for the role for years. She has obviously done an outstanding job.”

I chuckled, drawing odd looks from the sisters. “Yeah, about that. You did leave somepony in charge, but you should have been a bit more precise in the wording of your orders.”

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked with a frown.

My wife chose to speak up then. “My husband means that your instructions left the Great and Wise Trixie to run the show – the show being all of Equestria.”

Luna said, “That is a poor jest, as are those false wings thou dost wear.”

My spouse stepped up to glare defiantly at the Alicorn of the Moon while extending and furling her new appendages. “The wings are real. Trixie earned them defending Equestria from its enemies.”

“And I’m really an alicorn too,” I added. “Harmony itself seems to have chosen me as its champion when I came to Equestria. I have since worked with Princess Trixie for the benefit of the nation. There have been many threats since you left, but we Triarchs have been able to deal with them and grow in power as we did so.”

“Triarchs? There are three rulers?” Celestia queried.

I gave her a smile. “You taught your student well. Twilight Sparkle ascended to alicornhood and rules by our side.”

Celestia smiled for the first time. “I was certain that she had the potential. I am so gratified to find out that I was right. Equestria has never had so much alicorn royalty. It looks like I will need to start planning my retirement sooner than I thought.”

My wife giggled. “Trixie is actually a pegacorn, and you are a little late for that, Celestia.”

The alicorn raised an eyebrow, perhaps surprised by the blue mare’s familiarity. “What do you mean by that?”

“Trixie means that you have been gone from Equestria for longer than a year and a day. By Equestrian law, you have both forfeited your title. You and Luna are no longer princesses.”

They both chorused, “What? No!”

At their shocked looks, I added, “I’m afraid so. Trixie was confirmed as Princess in your absence. After Twilight Sparkle ascended to alicorn status, Trixie offered the role of diarch to her and she accepted.” I didn’t think it was the right time to tell them about the Alicorn Challenge. “When I subsequently married Trixie, I became a Prince. You are now our subjects.”

After a lengthy stunned silence, Celestia spoke up.

“May this pony ask a favor of her Prince… er…?”

“Mark Wells,” I supplied.

Luna cocked her head, “Why doth that name sound familiar?”

Celestia said, “Don’t you remember, sister? A month ago you had a dream about a pony named ‘Dark Smells’ that managed some sort of rolling food cart.”

“Aha! Indeed. Sausages of the lowest quality but finest taste.” The dark alicorn narrowed her eyes at me and her weapon rose in the air. “Thou didst refuse to provide me with grilled onions without fee!”

Celestia glanced at her sister’s polearm and said, “Prince Mark Wells – do you still have Eyrish whiskey available?”

“Several bottles of the griffons’ finest,” I confirmed.

“My sister and I would like to have a chat with the current rulers over a few drinks.”

I looked at Trixie who nodded in agreement. “I think we can arrange that.” I took a moment to don my Gift-from-the-Crystal-Hive Crown and vest while Trixie did the same with her finest cape and Impress-Foreign-Dignitaries Crown once she was done giving her mane a quick brushing. After doing so, she placed Gemini on her back nestled between her wings, still swaddled in their blanket. Celestia took a closer look at our child who was currently in unicorn form.

“Your foal, I take it?”

“Yes, this is Gemini, our first foal.”

My wife said, “Of what Trixie promises will be several.”

“That’s an interesting name. Is Gemini a colt or a filly?”

“Yes!” Trixie and I chorused.

Celestia blinked in confusion for a moment and sighed. “I sense that there’s even more to this story than I initially believed.”

I chuckled. “Enough to fill a couple of books at least. Anyway, give me a moment to forewarn the guards.” I went to the door and opened it enough to speak to the half-dozen posted outside.

“Is everything alright, Your Highness?” the surprised thestral Night Guard in charge asked. Due to the privacy wards, they were unaware of the happenings in our room.

“Something has come up,” I told the bat pony. “I just wanted to warn you about a couple of visitors who portaled into our room.” Then I noticed the guard’s companion. “Gah! Disguise yourself quickly!”

The red changeling’s eyes went wide but he obeyed after only a moment’s hesitation, shape-shifting into a nearly identical version of the batpony. I told him, “Go wake Twilight and have her come to the Royal Lounge. You’ll see why in a moment.”

I opened the door fully and said to those in the room, “Okay, let’s go.”

Celestia and Luna followed me out and the guards gaped in shock. If I hadn’t been there, they might have thought Celestia was me in Marklestia form, but with Luna present also, there was no mistaking who the alicorns were. As it was still nighttime, we didn’t encounter too many others on our way to our destination. When we did, Celestia and Luna were met with shock and disbelief that quickly turned to joy.

Just before we reached the Royal Lounge, there came the sound of rapidly approaching hoofbeats. Seconds later, Penumbra tore around a corner and skidded to a stop in front of our group. Celestia and Luna had warily raised their weapons but otherwise seemed calm. The batpony stared at our visitors for a long moment before respectfully bowing her head.

“So, it’s true – you have finally returned, Your Highnesses.”

I was impressed that my bodyguard had responded in short order despite not being called upon directly. That made me realize that I didn’t know what the time was. In all likelihood, it was just before dawn, and Penny had already been up and preparing for her daily duties. There was a reason why I never failed to find her waiting outside my bedroom door every morning that she was on duty.

“Celestia and Luna, this is Lieutenant Penumbra of the Royal Guard, my bodyguard and close friend. Penny, remember the mirror Trixie… uh… borrowed from Celestia’s chambers when she decorated our new suite? The Royal Sisters just returned using it as a portal. We’re about to have a chat with them and bring them up to speed with what has happened in their absence.”

“That’s going to take some time. Perhaps I could get somepony to bring refreshments?”

“It’s okay – we bumped into a castle servant who is already working on that. Come, join us. You can help fill in some details while we talk.”

The guards who had followed us from our suite were stationed outside the Royal Lounge with orders to allow the servant to bring the food inside. Others were permitted at their discretion – we figured that Twilight would not be the only important person to join us this morning.

My wife said, “Trixie assures you that you are quite safe and would recommend that you take off your armor and make yourselves comfortable.”

The sisters looked at each other and nodded. Their horns glowed and the intricate protective gear started coming apart. Barding, weapons, and banners were neatly stacked against a wall, leaving both alicorns bare of any accouterments aside from their peytrals which had been hidden under their armor. Each pulled their respective crown out of sacks that had been hidden under their barding. Doubtless, both bags had a trans-dimensional storage spell placed on them. After sharing a look, they both laid their crowns down on top of their piles of armor. In a way, it was symbolic of their loss of status in our nation.

I walked over to the bar. “How do you prefer your whiskey, ladies?”

Luna replied, “I would like my first libation to be straight. Sister?”

“I’ve been dying for a Manehattan since we left our Equestria. Do you know how to make one?” I nodded. “Thank you, Your Highness. A little fortification is in order.”

“Trixie?”

“Too early for alcohol, Dowser. Trixie will wait for the food.”

I didn’t bother asking Penny – she never touched booze during the week, even if she was off-duty unlike now, and only moderately on the weekends. She always wanted to be at her peak at a moment’s notice.

Celestia and Luna made themselves comfortable on the two biggest cushions. I brought their drinks over – large glasses to match their presumably greater capacity. I also brought over the whiskey bottle in case Luna wanted a top-up or Celestia changed her mind. They didn’t exactly slam their drinks down but they did not last long. I sat next to Trixie on a sofa after she settled Gemini into a lounge chair. Aside from turning a little to snuggle deeper into their blanket, our foal continued sleeping.

I was procrastinating a little as I expected Twilight to turn up soon and she didn’t disappoint. With the usual flash-bang of teleportation, the purple alicorn appeared with a serious case of bed-head. She was completely oblivious to it though as she looked around wildly until her eyes locked onto Celestia. Our co-ruler squealed like a little filly and flew into the waiting arms of her former mentor.

“Princess Celestia! It really is you! I was beginning to lose hope that we’d ever see you again after all this time!”

Celestia laughed as she hugged Twilight almost as enthusiastically. “I’m delighted to see you too, although I am led to believe that Luna and I have been gone far longer than we thought.”

I said, “Twilight – there was a huge time differential between our worlds. They’ve only been gone a couple of months from their perspective.”

Twilight’s eyes opened as wide as saucers in comprehension before she started babbling. “Of course! Breaking the portal caused the inter-dimensional flux to skew the synchronization of the integrated time-slip cantrips. A cascading disruption of tensor vectors followed by the unraveling of superstring pathways was bound to occur… but why couldn’t I detect any polarized Rattan Radiation or Holly Scattering? Is Chubby Chef’s Theorem only applicable in specialized non-temporal causalities instead of universal general closed system variations?” She brought a hoof up to her chin. “Hmmm. Now I really have to think about this.”

Luna chuckled and said to Trixie and me, “I am gladdened to see that some things have not changed in our absence.” Then her ears perked up and her head swiveled to stare at a shadowy corner of the room.

At that moment, Regis scampered out of its darkest depths and cried excitedly, “Mommy! Mommy!” He skipped over to Twilight and gave her a quick hug then looked up at Celestia who was gaping in surprise.

“Hi, Auntie Mark! You’re sure different today!” Regis said brightly then turned to stare at the other new alicorn in the room. That’s when he noticed me sitting nearby Luna and he looked puzzled for a moment. He shrugged and said to Luna, “Hi, pretty lady!” Then he spotted Philomena perched on a nearby shelf and his eyes opened in wonder. “Ooooh!”

With a flash of green magic fire, there was a duplicate of the phoenix in place of Regis.

“By the stars!” exclaimed Luna as the new firebird flew over to the original. Philomena wasn’t impressed and squawked in annoyance. She tried to avoid her doppelganger but Regis wanted to play.

“You have a changeling child, Twilight?” Celestia asked in a bewildered tone.

“Yes. That’s my son, Regis Novellus,” she replied proudly.

“I think I’m going to need that whiskey straight after all,” the white alicorn said, picking up the bottle in her magic.

Twilight called out to her foal, “Regis! Stop bothering Philomena and change back.”

To the phoenix’s relief, Regis obeyed, alighting next to his mother and resuming his normal form.

Twilight gave him a stern look and said, “How disappointed do you think your Grandma Chrysalis will be when I tell her about your thoughtless transformations… again!”

I heard a gasp and a crash to my right. Glancing that way, I saw that Celestia had dropped the bottle.

The foal said, “Sorry, mommy.”

Trixie chuckled and said, “Just wait until you meet her husband.”

My wife’s years on the stage must have honed her sense of timing. At that moment, the door to the lounge opened and Thorax hastened in, only to stop short. Both alicorn sisters stared at the newcomer in shock. In the silence that followed, a maid pushing a cart laden with various drinks and snacks had to swerve around the unmoving king of the Crystal Hive. The changeling uncertainly returned the Royal Sisters’ gaze for a long-drawn-out moment before apparently realizing that these were indeed the real deal. He gave them a nervous grin.

“H-hello. I’m Thorax, Twilight’s husband. You must be Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

I spoke up. “Thorax is more than just Twilight’s spouse – he’s also King of the Crystal Hive, not to mention the son of Queen Chrysalis. That makes Twilight a Hive Mother.” I admit that I took delight in freaking out the sisters a bit more. Sue me.

Luna held up her empty glass and simply said, “More.”

Celestia looked at the shattered bottle on the floor and then back to her sister. “I don’t think any amount of alcohol is going to help us adjust to this new reality. Would you like some of that coffee that I can smell instead?”

Luna shook her head. “Nay. The whiskey shall be doubled!”

I got up and fetched an unopened bottle of Eyrish whiskey for Luna while Twilight used her magic to clear up the mess and the maid poured coffee for everypony. Well, everypony except the foals and Luna. According to Twilight, Regis’ sweet tooth led him to steal a cup of honey and cream infused brew from Twilight early one morning. After that very long and tiring day, Twilight drank her java black. Along with the coffee, a few slices of cake seemed to improve Celestia’s mood a lot too. Rumor confirmed!

The maid bowed and left us to enjoy our food and drink. As the Solar Alicorn put down her empty plate with a contented sigh, she noticed Regis staring at her with a grin on his face. “What amuses you so, child?” she asked with an indulgent smile.

Regis danced on his hooves in front of Celestia. “You've got such big wings! And big flanks!”

“Aye, that she does,” quipped Luna. Celestia blinked away a frown to keep her attention on the foal.

“And big, big mane! And big, big, big tail!”

Twilight gently said, “You've seen Uncle Mark have all those before, too.”

The Royal Sisters looked up questioningly at the purple alicorn then to me.

Regis pointed a hoof at Celestia. “But she has big emotions! And big, big, big, big power! Mark is like pfffft!”

All the adults cracked up, except for me. Foals had no social filter whatsoever, and I had just been compared to a fart noise.

After everypony calmed down again, Luna asked me, “What doth Twilight’s spawn mean, precisely?”

I smiled, changing into my pink-haired Celestia form. “Oh, nothing much.” Short-haired form. “Just a party trick...” Long haired Celestial form. “... I picked up a while back.”

The Royal Sisters’ eyes just about bugged out of their heads. After a few seconds, Luna recovered enough to say, “How didst–”

I interrupted her. “It’s how we got into Celestia’s secret chamber under Canterlot Mountain, and Luna’s secret cave.”

Their jaws dropped open again. Regis pointed at both of them and laughed. Apparently, the emotion of gobsmacked amazement was very amusing to the changeling foal.

Celestia ruffled her wings as she struggled to get ahold of her emotions. “Well… um… well.” She cleared her throat and gave me a piercing stare. “I hope I have some secrets left in my extremely private, personal chamber.”

Might as well get it over with. I said, “Oh, you mean like the hoof-carved gift from Semiplume? Or ‘The pegasus flieth to White Tail Woods’?”

“Buck me,” muttered Celestia.

“Buck me! Buck me!” Regis joyously pronked around the room, wings outstretched. “Buck me!”

Now it was my turn to laugh and I wasn’t alone. Luna fell off her cushion in her mirth. Twilight tried in vain to get her son to ‘stop saying that bad word’, all the while shooting dark glares at both Celestia and me. The purple mare practically growled. “It’s not funny!”

“Snot’s funny! Snot’s funny!” Regis bounced around, yelling his new mantra.

After she finished laughing, my wife said, “Trixie is not certain why our co-ruler is still upset.”

“Indeed,” said Luna, pushing herself back onto her haunches. “ ’Tis quite an improvement over my sister’s foul utterances.”

All the excitement woke up Gemini and, thankfully, Regis was distracted into playing with them. After Twilight teleported in some toys for the two, everyone was settled once more and it was time to start clearing up some mysteries.

“Now – can we finally know what took you away from Equestria for so long?” my wife asked.

Luna replied, “Before we tell you our tale, I am most curious about how our dear sister managed to leave thee in charge of the kingdom.”

My wife smiled. “Celestia, do you recall the exact wording of the orders you gave to the Captain of the Guard?”

“Yes. I said that Twilight Sparkle awaits me in my chambers and that she was empowered to govern Equestria until the Diarchs returned.”

Luna frowned and shook her head. “Nay, sister. Thou didst state that thy student awaited…”

Celestia and Luna stared wide-eyed at Trixie who gave them her best “cat ate the canary” grin.

I said, “An emergency arose in the Crystal Kingdom. Before the Captain arrived to give your proclamation, Twilight had left to gather the Element Bearers and deal with the situation.”

My wife added. “And was Trixie Lulamoon the First not your brave and faithful student also?”

One massive facehoof later, a much chagrined Celestia said, “Let that be a lesson to the current rulers – never make orders in haste, no matter how urgent the issue.”

“Believe me, I understand,” I said. “Okay – your turn.”

Celestia nodded. “As you may have surmised already, we have been in contact for centuries with several alternate worlds through the mirror portals created by Star Swirl the Bearded and others. We had established a close relationship with a particular version of Equestria which had not fared as well as ours. It suffered frequent attacks from its neighbors and we provided support in various ways. In return, we had access to resources not available in our world, and valuable intelligence on possible threats to our home dimension. Their situation seemed stable right up until the day we left. We got word that a surprise attack had left that world’s Celestia and Luna dead and their Canterlot Castle under siege. As there was no time to lose, I immediately headed off to Luna’s room to have her join me in defense of the other Equestria, leaving my excessively hasty instructions for Twilight. We didn’t stop to fetch our battle armor, relying instead on our enchanted regalia for the moment. We intended to return as soon as we secured the immediate situation, if just to make more thorough preparations and set up a better interim leadership arrangement.”

“So, why didn’t you?” I asked.

“The battle was being fought within the castle and had reached their portal room when we arrived. During our fight with the invaders, a stray blast destroyed the connection back to our Equestria. We were trapped in that dimension until we could re-establish a new gateway to our world.”

I was greatly relieved to find out that it wasn’t anything to do with me smashing some of the mirrors upon my arrival. “That’s one reason why we’ve been setting up redundant portals, just in case something happens to the first.”

“A wise precaution,” Luna commented with a sharp look at her sister.

“It also explains the unusual style of armor you were wearing,” I said with a wave of a hoof in the direction of said equipment. “I take it that there are significant differences between our Equestria and theirs?”

“Vast differences in many things, and yet so familiar in others,” Celestia replied, Luna nodding in agreement. “These are the weapons and personal armor of their Royal Sisters and they suit us perfectly. We made good use of them in place of ours.”

Trixie asked, “What took you so long to make a new portal? Starting from scratch, Sparkle learned how to rebuild a broken portal and create new ones within weeks whereas you must have already known.”

Celestia shook her head. “While my knowledge of magic is vast, there are areas in which I had little reason to practice for centuries. On the other hoof, my former student’s special talent is magic and it’s of little surprise that she managed to learn on her own what Star Swirl taught us so long ago.”

The Alicorn of the Moon frowned. “Whyfore didst thou need to rebuild a portal?”

“That would be my fault,” I confessed. “I was unaware that the mirror that I had bought in my home dimension was also a portal, and when it opened by itself, I was caught by surprise and fell through it into a totally dark room. My attempts to right myself caused me to knock over several mirrors.”

“Several? That was clumsiness most uncommon,” Luna pointed out.

Trixie laughed. “That trait has not changed in the years since my husband’s arrival.”

I gave my wife a flat look before continuing. “In my defense, I was not expecting to have four legs. You see, back on my former world, I was not a pony.”

“Oh? What species were you?” Celestia asked.

“Have you heard of humans?” I asked.

Both sisters nodded.

“Then you know that they are bipeds. Ponies are not naturally inclined to walk around on their hind legs, so you can imagine what happened when I tried.”

Luna said, “Even an alicorn could not expect to do better if thou didst not know that thou had become one.”

“Actually, I hadn’t. I arrived as a pegasus.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. “You ascended? That is even more remarkable than being gifted the form. You must tell me more.”

“It’s a very long story. I—”

A softly persistent chime interrupted me.

“What is that sound?” Luna asked with a frown as the noise grew louder.

Twilight chuckled sheepishly. “Oops. I forgot. It’s time to raise the sun. That’s my alarm spell.”

Celestia gave the purple alicorn a delighted smile. “You have been raising the sun instead of the Council of Mages? You truly have grown into your power, my former student.”

Twilight blushed. “It took a lot of practice to do it even half as well as you. Now that you’re back, I will defer the task to you as you’re the Solar Princess.”

The white alicorn shook her head. “I am a princess no more, remember? I have no right to take this royal responsibility from you.”

“Oh, no! It’s not just a matter of duty. You’ve performed that task for over a thousand years – more than for anypony else. It’s your right!” Twilight protested.

“A right that I have abrogated for several years, it seems. Equestria has prospered under its new custodian of the sun.”

“It’s not your fault that you couldn’t tend to the sun. I wouldn’t dream of thinking that I’m better suited to the task.”

“My dear Twilight, I insist that you continue the duty you have undertaken.”

“But I would feel like I’m stealing it from you. The sun is yours!”

“You are the reigning Princess – you have a responsibility to Equestria!”

“And as the Princess, I assert that it is your place to begin the day!”

The volume of the responses had gradually grown louder and I was beginning to wonder if the sun was ever going to be raised today. Fortunately, my wife had had enough of the polite bickering.

“Ladies! If neither of you will attend to the sun, I will get my husband to perform the duty.”

Both alicorns stopped and blinked in surprise. For my part, I stammered and took a step back, stunned beyond words. The Royal Sisters turned to stare at me before bursting out in hysterical laughter. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I forced myself to reconsider my initial incredulous reaction. The idea wasn’t that far-fetched, was it? I was an alicorn, after all. I mean, just because I didn’t have a clue how was no excuse for being so summarily dismissed by two of the most powerful beings in the world… On second thoughts, shut up, Mark.

When the giggles finally stopped, I said, “Sparkles, as much as you are dedicated to your duty, I know you hate getting out of bed to raise the sun. You’re just not a morning pony. Celestia, you’re the Alicorn of the Sun – it’s your special talent and it won’t be denied by your change of status. At least for now, I propose that you handle the sunrises and Twilight the sunsets.

Celestia nodded. “That seems reasonable to me.”

“I suppose so,” Twilight said.

“Good. Luna – how do you feel about the moon?”

“I would retake sole stewardship of it, if it pleases the Triarchy.”

A glance at my co-rulers was enough to confirm that. “Okay, ladies, you’re up. Go put on a show for the citizens to celebrate your return.”

They rose from their cushions and made their way to the bay window. The Royal Lounge did not have a balcony but the large glassed area was almost as good. I suppose they could have simply teleported to a better vantage point, but I think that they were proving something to us as well as themselves. I have watched many a sun and moon rise and set but I had never beheld such a glorious show as the sisters wove their magic. The stars danced through vibrant auroras of every shade as the moon settled below the horizon. Determined not to be outdone, the fiery sunrise cast arcs and flares of more shades of yellow, orange, and red than I had ever seen. The display was topped off with a powerful glow that made everything in sight—mountains, forests, buildings, and streets—appear to be dipped in gold. Any pony who witnessed the dawn today would know instinctively that Alicorns of the Sun and Moon had returned without ever laying eyes on them.

Celestia and Luna skipped to their seats, palpably pleased with themselves. I poured celebratory drinks for all and we savored them for a while. Eventually though, I brought us back to the important subjects.

“While I am sure you’re very curious about what has been happening in your absence, there are nearly four years to catch up on as opposed to several weeks on your part. It would be better if we get your tale done first. We still haven’t heard much about what happened to you after the gateway was destroyed. I gather that you won the battle and turned your efforts to rebuilding the portal?”

Luna replied, “We wish ’twas so simple. Alas, there was no clear victory for many weeks. We repulsed the invasion and bulwarked the nation’s borders at the end, but considering the nature of Grogar’s attack—”

“Grogar?!” we all chorused.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Bet you thought you'd have to wait a couple of weeks to learn more about the return of the Royal Sisters! Well, after keeping you waiting for 86 chapters, we think you deserve a quick update.

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Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 88 - Questions and Challenges

Celestia frowned at our outburst. “Am I correct in assuming that you have had the displeasure of dealing with Grogar?”

Trixie replied, “Not directly, as such, but he was recently responsible for the release of three of Equestria’s most dangerous enemies and we have reason to believe that he has been spying on us in preparation for an attack.”

Luna asked, “And who are those three?”

My wife said, “Cozy Glow, a diminutive pegasus mare that tried to steal all the magic in Equestria, Tirek, who… um… tried the same thing in a different way, and the Storm King—”

Celestia interrupted. “The Storm King!?”

Trixie shrank back at the solar alicorn’s uncharacteristic outburst. “… Yes. He led his airborne forces in an attempt to take over Canterlot.”

Celestia closed her eyes and put a hoof on her forehead. “Sunspots and ashes, I knew he would become a serious threat! Before we left, I contemplated having him…” She looked up at Regis and Gemini, who listened to her quite intently if their perked ears were any indication. “Uhh… ‘liberated’ by three of my agents.”

She passed her gaze across Twilight, Trixie, and me. “Instead, Equestria and you three, in particular, had to bear the weight of my failure to nip the problem in the bud. I sincerely apologize. This was my fault.”

I considered anew the time of Celestia’s reign. Some aspects of the Equestrian government had stagnated badly, such as the fighting strength of its armed forces and the Equestria Education Association. On the other hoof, the country had seen over five-hundred years of peace. Her foreign relations acumen couldn’t be denied. I’d have to discuss that with my co-rulers.

Twilight took a deep breath. “Apology accepted. That was a painful day, but all of us are better leaders as a result.” I was impressed. My co-ruler affirmed her role as her former teacher’s superior.

I added, “And we suspect that Grogar had a hoof in the recent resurrection of King Sombra. The timing is too coincidental.”

The sisters both nodded. Luna said, “That doth match the cur’s modus operandi. Although powerful in his own right, Grogar prefereth to work through others.”

Celestia nickered in an annoyed tone. “He gained the cooperation of Queen Chrysalis with the promise of revenge against her Celestia and Luna, and while she did manage to assassinate them, it turned out to be a suicide mission. However, that was just the opening move in Grogar’s plans. Equestria was immediately attacked and, without the diarchs’ leadership, strong incursions were made including into Canterlot itself, which is when we were summoned. We no sooner dealt with one enemy when we were confronted by another. Grogar had conscripted the help of many old foes of Equestria with the lure of power. Only after the Shah of Saddle Arabia, Lord of Snow Pinkerton of the Yak Kingdom, the Air Marshall of the Griffonian Hegemony, and the entire High Council of the Zebrican Clergy were killed and moderate replacements were found did we make any progress towards peace.”

Twilight frowned. “In light of that knowledge, it’s a wonder you were able to win in only a couple of months.”

Luna laughed. “Nay, child, the conflict is far from settled. However, with the nation’s borders secured for now and negotiations begun, it was time for us to return to our royal duties in our home dimension.”

Celestia nodded. “Princess Cadance and Prince Armor have undertaken the leadership of Equestria and, while they were extremely grateful for our help, they reminded us that we were visitors to their world. Only then did we find the time to repair the portal and use my peytral’s native dimensional frequency to link to my mirror to find our way back home.” She sighed. “However, home seems to have changed so much in our absence. To tell you the truth, I still had my doubts that we had returned to the correct universe.”

“Had?” I echoed. “Are you now sure?”

Luna smiled. “I believe that I speak for my sister when I say that we affirmed our place doth belong in this world when I set the moon and she brought the dawn. Our affinity with our heavenly orbs was unmistakable.”

“Exactly,” Celestia confirmed. “Until then, such revelations as Twilight’s child gave us much reason to question my conviction. I was wondering if we had ended up in a reality where Chrysalis had married Shining Armor or something equally as unbelievable.”

Trixie laughed. “No, you’re thinking of Princess Chryssy. She stops by with her husband, Prince Shining Armor, and wife, Princess Cadance occasionally.”

In response to the uncomprehending looks, I said, “Different dimension entirely. As a matter of fact, Queen Trochanter from their realm took over the abandoned Crystal Empire Hive in our world with Thorax and Twilight's permission. Princesses Postgena and Chryssy regularly visit our mad Queen Chrysalis who currently resides in the Canterlot Castle dungeons.” I sighed. “All part of reforming in the name of Friendship and Harmony.” I don't think I was very convincing with that last bit.

Luna glanced at Thorax. “Far too much has happened in our absence. We could never have imagined any Chrysalis cooperating peacefully with ponykind.”

I shared a look with Trixie and Twilight. “Chrysalis doesn't know about Grogar or the escaped prisoners, does she? Let's keep it that way.”

Twilight nodded. “I will give orders to all who interact with her.” She blinked. “Uhhh... and ask my mom nicely.”

Celestia said, “While I suspect that we will have much to contribute towards Equestria’s defense against Grogar in light of our recent experiences, I think it’s time that you start bringing us up to speed with the events of the past few years.”

“Fair enough,” my wife replied. “However, it is nearly time for our normal breakfast and while Trixie has enjoyed these snacks, she needs something more substantial to sustain her through the day. Besides, you will need to meet the rest of the family.”

Twilight’s eyes shot open and she suddenly looked nervous. “Umm, yes. Quite right.”

I chuckled to myself as Twilight squirmed. I could guess what she was thinking – how was Luna going to react to a foal version of Nightmare Moon?

“Oh, yeah! Brekky!” exclaimed Regis.

“Me too!” agreed Gemini who decided to change to their colt form for the first time since they had woken up. “I’m starving!”

A typical response of a not-so-typical foal. Both Celestia and Luna stared at my child who was excitedly flapping around the room with Regis.

“What magic is this?” Luna asked.

“The reason why our first child is named Gemini,” I replied. “They are both a pegasus colt and a unicorn filly in one.”

“I have never beheld the like in all my centuries,” Celestia said. “Truly, you are an unusual alicorn to have sired such a foal, Prince Wells.”

My wife laughed. “Dowser managed that even before he ascended. Trixie wonders what our next foal will be like.” She gave me a pointed look.

I gulped. Come to think of it, she did seem to be bringing the topic up a lot lately. Time to change the subject. “I’m feeling hungry too. Shall we go?”

As they headed out, the foals took the lead, subtly urging the adults to hurry up.

Luna smiled indulgently at the two. “Calm down, children – I am sure the repast will still be there if we take a minute longer to arrive.”

“But it’s way past breakfast time!” Regis protested.

Luna gave him a flat look. “By my reckoning, we are scarcely more than a quarter-hour after dawn.”

“Yeah, like I said – w-a-a-y past breakfast!”

Luna chuckled. “I would not have thought thou needest much food. Art thou not a changeling who dost subsist on love?”

“Grammy says I’m different ’cause of dad. I eat both!”

“Thou art indeed an unusual foal. I note that thou didst shadow-walk into the room. What is it like for thee and how didst thou find thy mother there?”

Regis replied, “It’s kind of like walking through a big fluffy black curtain. Except when I’m halfway, I can twist around and stuff. Can you, I don’t know, smell the ponies around you and go to the one you want? Mom smells like books and Daddy. Daddy smells like love and raspberries.”

The night alicorn nodded. “Indeed. Thou hast described the sensation quite well. It has been many a moon since I last partook in such discussion. Tell me, canst thou ‘smell’ they that approach?”

The changeling nymph bobbed his head. “Uh-huh. Not in a bright room or in the daytime when I’m playing outside, but I can here 'cause there are shadows over there.” He waved a hoof toward a dark corner of the hallway then dropped his voice and whispered quite loudly. “It's how I know my sister is trying to sneak up on us.”

Luna’s grin widened a bit. “Is that who it is? Fret not. I shall feign great bewilderment.”

A few seconds later (with a very noticeable buzzing), Nyx flew up the hallway and landed on Luna’s back. The alicorn stopped and reared her head without turning around, only to have small hooves cover her closed eyes.

“Guess who?” asked the small alicorn. She used a foreleg to straighten the enchanted glasses that maintained the illusion of circular, ponylike irises.

Twilight frowned. “Nyx, dear. Please stop—”

“Shush! Shush!” admonished her daughter. “Guess who!”

Yep. That made sense. Covering up what your mom just said by repeating yourself… but louder.

Luna furrowed her brow. “Is it… an Ursa Minor?”

Nyx giggled. “No! Guess again!”

“Oh, no! My dear sister, save me from this Ursa Major most foul!”

Celestia snorted in amusement at Luna’s mock terror.

This time, Twilight’s daughter laughed out loud. “No, silly! I’ll give you a big hint. I have wings!”

“Hmmm… most perplexing.” Luna was certainly playing this up to the hilt. “I know! Thou art the fairest thestral filly in all the land!”

More giggles. “Pretty close.” Nyx released her hold on the night alicorn and sat straight on her back. “Look! Look!”

Luna twisted her head with the greatest caution—her chattering teeth and quivering eyes making the young filly bounce in place in excitement…. Or maybe Nyx was just impatient.

Luna froze for a second when she got a good look at the foal on her back. Then a smile took over her face. “Aha! Certes, another changeling child! Thou art most prodigious with thy new station. Commendable, Hive Mother Twilight.” Luna turned to face Nyx’s mother with a sly look. “A most noble attempt, but I fear you will find me harder to prank than my dear sister.”

For her part, my co-ruler scuffed the marble tile with a forehoof. “Umm… Nyx is my daughter from another timeline. It’s… a long story.”

Luna’s smirk of disbelief fell away as she scanned first my face, then Trixie’s. Slowly, she turned back to Nyx.

The foal gave her winningest fang-filled smile. “Can I call you Aunt Luna again? Yeah, I know you’re not the same one I knew, but can we go flying around Canterlot Mountain tonight? I’m a really good night flyer!” Nyx lifted her glasses, showing off her slit pupils. “See?”

Luna’s expression was priceless. Shock, alarm, fear, and confusion all warred for control of her face.

Everypony lost it, falling over each other in our laughter. Even Penny held her sides while tears streamed down her face.

Luna took a couple of tries to get any words out. First, she addressed the filly. “I will fly with thee in the coming week.”

Nyx gave her neck a big hug. “Thanks, Auntie!” The foal then flapped over to land on her mother’s withers.

The night alicorn lifted a forehoof to her brow. “Methinks I shall rest for a brief respite. I take it… may I retire to mine old chambers?”

Trixie smiled. “Of course! Your observatory and Celestia’s suite have been kept for you two.”

Why did that sound a bit off? I couldn’t remember.

“My deepest thanks,” said Luna, who then disappeared with a flash and the pop of inrushing air, only to return a few seconds later.

“My chamber is overflowing with… stage props! What is the meaning of this?”

Trixie tilted her head back. “Oh, yes! How forgetful of Trixie. When the Hearth’s Warming Play ended three years past, the theater troupe needed a place to securely store their things. Trixie authorized the use of your quarters for this worthy cause. Trixie, of course, will order the castle servants to put everything aright.”

Luna waved a hoof. “No. Methinks I feel quite recovered now. I have been cured. I hold no more expectations of normalcy. Let us continue to the dining hall and exchange more tales of the Triarch’s adventures.” She lowered her voice to a nearly inaudible murmur. “And mayhap I won’t find the Tantabus working as a maidservant.”

Thankfully, there were no further delays and we made our way to the dining room. Unsurprisingly, Diadem was already present and we introduced her to the Royal Sisters. After meeting Thorax, they were able to take a changeling princess in stride although they were still surprised to find that she was my advisor. Because school had closed for the summer holiday break, Gallus was staying in Canterlot and soon turned up with his girlfriend, Smolder. While their relationship was not official, no one was under any illusion that they weren’t smitten with each other. Celestia was absolutely delighted by my foster son and his dragon belle. It was proof that her efforts to bring peace between the species, both directly and through her disciple, Twilight were bearing fruit.

Just as our food was being served up, two more guests joined us. Cadance and Shining Armor both looked slightly disheveled after having undoubtedly rushed to get here after receiving the news of the return of the Royal Sisters. Celestia and Cadance exchanged tearful hugs before the newcomers joined us at the breakfast table.

As the youngsters demolished their bowls of oatmeal, we recounted the events of the past few years. After finishing their meal, Gemini started yawning, probably due to having been woken early, so Trixie sent them off for a nap. Nyx grew bored and left when the Cutie Mark Crusaders turned up to take her along on their latest adventure. Gallus and Smolder contributed a bit to the conversation before they also left to do whatever they had planned. Trixie sent word that the morning session of Day Court would be delayed but there would be a special event starting at noon. We not only had to announce the return of the Royal Sisters but also determine how we wanted to go about it.

We intrigued and stunned them with tales of what had happened after their departure. I got a few laughs by playing up some of my misadventures. They were also dismayed by the sheer number of threats we had faced in their absence. It was not all one-sided though as our stories reminded them of events in the other world and we got to see a side of the sisters that most did not know.

Luna was saying, “…and just when we had gotten the upper hand in the South, that's when the portal to the Fifth Circle of Tartarus appeared in Ponyville. Within an hour, demons began pouring out.”

I blinked. “Wait. Circles? Demons?”

Celestia replied, “Yes. Their Tartarus is divided into nine levels or ‘circles’ at different depths under the surface of Equus. Unlike our Tartarus which is a single, vast underground area.”

“As far as we know,” Luna added.

Celestia glanced at her and then continued. “Uh... yes. Well, the way demons work is, when they are killed, they are reborn the next day in their home realm. Normally, they cannot return to the surface for a year and a day, but when my sister and I killed the same demons again and again, we knew Grogar had mitigated that restriction somehow.”

Luna said, “'Tis not indubitable, but that doth be the most plausible reason.”

“Yes... my sister and I abandoned the battle, instructing all ponies to retreat. We sealed the entrances above and below the circle within an hour.”

Luna said, “More like two. The residents of the Fourth and Sixth Circle did not enjoy our incursion.”

The solar alicorn’s eyelid twitched. “Umm. Anyway, the core of both of our worlds consists mainly of molten iron.” Celestia paused and looked at her sister, who opened her mouth for a moment before closing it, smirking. “We filled the Fifth layer with material from the core. It should harden in four thousand years—”

Luna interrupted, “Closer to five. I did the math.”

Celestia continued in a more strained tone, “Then it was just a matter of tracking down every demon left on the surface and sending them home.”

“Ha!” Luna exclaimed. “More like ‘No! I didn't mean to kill all those ponies! Don't take it out on... Blargh!! Guh!’ CHOP!” The last was accompanied by two thrusts and a slice from an imaginary polearm.

Celestia waited. “Are you done?”

Luna smiled. “Yes! Yes! Please continue, dear sister.”

Celestia said, “Then it was a matter of making our position known to the lords of the remaining eight Circles of Tartarus. Luna and I would hold them all accountable for the actions of any of their brethren.”

Luna laughed. “So much fun! Blast through their defenses, levitating their bloated forms over the cauldron of molten metal, then submerge them after our brief pep talk, I believe it is called. They would reappear to rule in their home realms a day later, assuming they had not been overthrown.”

Celestia said, “And that's it! All the demons from the Fifth Circle were killed—”

“All but one!” Luna corrected.

Celestia angrily turned to her sister. “Must you contradict every single thing I say?”

Luna grinned. “Of course! 'Tis my duty as the youngest sibling! And I have sorely neglected my responsibilities for centuries! Thou hast many, many more years to endure.”

Celestia growled. “You are going to stop now! Or so help me I'll make you stop!”

Luna stuck her tongue out. “Perhaps when thou wert younger, but now thou dost dodder like the venerable mare thou art!”

Celestia stood up to tower over her sibling. “That's it!”

Trixie yelled, “For Faust's sake, you two! Grow up!”

The Royal Sisters burst out laughing, holding each other for support.

Eventually, Celestia said, “That is likely the first time that oath has been used properly.”

Luna said, “Please mindest not my sister and me. Our antics can appear foal-like at times.”

Trixie raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Appear?”

I was more concerned about another detail. “You were saying that one demon remained?”

Celestia turned her attention back to me. “Hmm? Oh, yes. Well, one demon from the Fifth Circle had been living in Ponyville for decades, changing disguises as needed. When the portal to Tartarus opened, the citizenry happened to be gathered at the Town Hall for the results of the Running of the Leaves. The demon swept up all the townsponies into a pocket dimension for over a month, though it felt like only a moment to them. When they returned, it was to find the war over but their town leveled.”

Luna added, “Fortunately, the residents of Ponyville in any dimension are most accustomed to disaster recovery.”

Celestia nodded. “After we talked at length to the demon, she was allowed to stay and continue to look after her adopted charges.”

Luna sighed. “To think – a most perfect masquerade. How could any suspect a cross-eyed mailmare to be an archdemon in truth?”

Trixie and I looked at each other. I murmured, “I think I'm going to place that information in the Pinkie File. That's the one labeled: Just don't think about it: You really don't want to know.”

Our exchange of stories continued and we reached the part about the Storm King’s invasion. I was describing how I attacked the fleet with my lightning power when I heard the night alicorn make a scoffing noise. All eyes turned to her and I frowned.

“What’s the matter, Luna?” I asked.

“Any weather pegasus worth their salt can manipulate lightning. Why dost thou thinkest that makest thee special?”

“Don’t be rude, sister,” Celestia scolded.

“Nay, this upstart hath made mighty claims with no proof beyond mere words. If we are to believe that Equestria is in good hooves, the nation needs rulers that can back up their boasts.”

I scowled and my nostrils flared. “May I remind you that I am not called the Alicorn of Lightning for nothing?”

“Thy cutie mark may sayeth that thou art good at raining on somepony’s parade for all I know,” she replied with a smirk.

I felt a swelling of anger and outrage growing within my breast. I got up from my chair and walked up face to face with Luna. “Are you calling me a liar and a fake?”

She sneered back. “I have no reason to believe that an alicorn stallion is a real thing or worthy of ruling.”

Twilight attempted to interject. “Princess Luna, I assure you—”

“Hush, child!” Luna interrupted before turning her attention back to me. “Well? Hast thou nothing to say?”

I poked her in the sternum with my forehoof. “I have worked hard and fought several battles to protect this nation which you left undefended. I earned my horn and right to rule!”

Luna’s lip curled and she haughtily replied, “Prove it!”

I quivered in rage and grated out, “The EUP combat training ground, right now!”

Celestia said, “Are you sure about this, Prince Mark Wells?”

I turned to the alabaster alicorn. “I have been challenged and I won’t back down.” That sounded familiar for some reason. No time to think about that now.

“I feared as much. Very well, I shall take us all there.” Her horn lit up.

Moments later, I was standing in the middle of a grassy field with the two sisters, my co-rulers, Cadance, Shining Armor, Thorax, Diadem, Crimson Boulder, and Penny. The latter glared at Luna and stood by my side in combat-ready stance, her protective instincts aroused. When Crimson started trotting towards us, I barked out, “Your services are not required, Lieutenant!” That made him stop in his tracks.

The Alicorn of the Moon grinned as she looked up at the clear blue sky. “There are no clouds upon which to draw lightning, O Alicorn of Boasting. What dost thou propose to do now?”

“Get this over and done with,” I replied. “Stand back, everypony. You too, Penny. This is between Moonbutt and me.”

My bodyguard reluctantly retreated along with the others, leaving Luna and me staring defiantly at each other.

“How do you want to do this?”

“I have nothing to prove, so it is up to thee to impress me. I will defend myself against thee and judge the veracity of thy claims.” She gave me that annoying smirk again. “And said abilities need must be effective in all circumstances and not just those advantageous to thee.”

“Hence the clear sunny day,” I said. “You think you have it all figured out. I’m going to make you eat your words.”

Luna snorted. “Bring it on!” Her horn lit up and a spherical shield surrounded her.

I had to laugh. “You think that is going to protect you?”

The alicorn gave me a smug grin. “My power has grown over a thousand years; a mere stripling like thee will not find my defenses wanting.”

“If you say so.” Despite Luna’s opinions, I had not been resting on my laurels. The training with my power had continued so that I was familiar with its use and proficient in its application. After becoming an alicorn, I found my skills with lightning quickly improved in my male form. By now, my special talent worked equally in either body. At least, I would not have to ‘cheat’ by assuming my Celestial form.

The alicorn had gotten another thing wrong – since the Grogar emergency had begun, I had made it a habit to ensure that I was at least 95% charged at all times so that I would be ready in an emergency. My ascension to alicornhood had also enabled me to handle this with ease. Bottom line – I did not need any clouds to tease lightning from.

“Give me thy best shot,” Luna demanded.

“As you wish,” I replied and discharged a mighty bolt of power.

The Alicorn of the Moon had made one final mistake. Most shields were optimized for either kinetic or magic attacks. One could deal with weapons such as swords, arrows, or boulders while the other could fend off mana blasts, assault spells, and curses. I recognized that Luna was utilizing a dual-layer shield effective against both. Unfortunately for her, neither type was particularly efficacious against raw electricity. The lightning bolt tore through her barrier with ease and struck the alicorn with a flare of blinding light and deafening thunder.

Blinking away the spots before my eyes, I saw Luna standing rigidly on the field where the grass was scorched by the electricity grounding through her hooves. Her mane was frizzed and a few licks of flame were on it and the tip of her horn. Her pupils were mere pinpricks and she had a thousand-mile stare.

“Snrrk!” Celestia unsuccessfully stifled a laugh before asking, “Have you gotten his measure yet, sister?”

Without adjusting her stiff stance, Luna opened her mouth. A waft of steam came from within before she spoke. “I… kaff, kaff… I seem to have… kaff… underestimated his ability.”

Celestia lost it then and fell onto the grass, rolling around as she laughed her head off.

“Do you doubt me now, Luna?” I asked.

“I may have… wheeze… been mistaken.”

Twilight came over and extinguished the flames. I think she might have used a healing spell too as Luna’s muscles finally relaxed and her eyes returned to normal.

That reminded me. “Oh, and one more thing. Don’t refer to Twilight as a ‘child’ anymore. You’ve done so twice and I don’t want to hear it.”

Luna looked at me then bowed her head to my co-ruler. “My apologies, Princess. I will refrain from addressing you in such a manner as Prince Mark commands.”

Twilight smiled. “As always, Luna, please just call me Twilight.”

With my victory and Luna’s acknowledgment of my rank, I felt my anger and indignation fall away. Then I started feeling ashamed of how badly I had reacted to Luna’s taunting. Nevertheless, I had to be sure that this challenge was over.

“Well, Luna, have I proven myself to your satisfaction, or are you ready for round two?”

“Peace, Prince Mark Wells. I was merely testing thee. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. I wished to put aside any doubts about thine ability to defend the realm.”

I felt my sense of humor returning and I snickered. “Was it worth it?”

“Methinks I will need a bath to remove the smell of burnt mane and ozone. Still, I survived thy mightiest effort with no more damage.”

“Umm, no, you didn’t.”

Luna tilted her head and cocked an eyebrow. “What dost thou meanest?”

“I didn’t want to kill you, so I only used half-power.” At her shocked stare, I continued, “Only Shining Armor has been able to prepare and create a shield strong enough and tuned specifically to cope with a lightning assault to survive my full-power attack, and even he didn’t want to do it more than once.”

“You can say that again,” Shining muttered.

The dark alicorn’s eyes widened and she gaped. “That was merely half-power?”

“Yep.”

“Then I thank thee for thy restraint.”

Celestia said, “Perhaps you will choose a less hazardous manner with which to test claims from alicorns in future, sister.”

“Thou dost speakest true, Tia.”

Twilight stepped closer and gave me a wry smile. “Are you more relaxed now, Mark? No more incoherent rage clouding your judgment while battling for leadership of Equestria?”

I blinked in shock. “I… That’s what you felt, wasn’t it? The compulsion to lead. The urge to defeat any challenger.” I thought back. “I even said ‘I won’t back down’ just like you did to Trixie.”

My co-ruler clonked me on the shoulder with a hoof. “Welcome to the club of ‘doing before thinking’ alicorns. If it makes you feel any better, I think you controlled yourself more than I did.”

I took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly. This was one of the exercises Cadance taught me for regulating my emotions when they felt overwhelming. It seemed to be working as my wings finally settled down on my sides again.

I turned to my earth pony friend and combat instructor. “Sorry, Crimson. I kind of bit your head off there.”

“No worries, Your Highness.” He smirked. “You know I’ll just take it out on you tomorrow afternoon during your next training session.”

I laughed. “Looking forward to it.”

My wife said, “While the Great and Powerful Trixie had no doubts about her husband’s capabilities, it is good that we got this matter dealt with before we announced your return to Equestria. Speaking of which, it’s nearly time to do so. Trixie suggests that we return and prepare ourselves for the event.”

“I agree,” said Celestia. “Come, sister. You can use the bathroom in my quarters, assuming they are not stuffed with spare furniture.” She smirked. “Just don’t clog the drains with your mane and tail hairs again.” As Luna began to protest the impossibility of such a thing happening, Celestia put words into actions and we were all back in the dining hall, followed immediately by another teleport that took the Royal Sisters away. At least, Celestia would not have to explain the grass stains on her otherwise pristine coat any more than Luna would have to fend off questions about the scorch marks in her mane.

Twilight and Trixie left to make some hasty arrangements for the special event while I sent some Royal Guards to stand by the entrance to Celestia’s suite and have them escort the sisters to the throne room at the appointed time. I then arranged to have some more go out and announce the impromptu occasion in the streets as it was far too late to do otherwise. I did not want this to be an event purely for the nobles who had much closer communications with the Royal Court and its events.

With our foals already off with their nannies and teachers, that left me with nothing to do but freshen up. I surprised Steady Flight with a request for a quick grooming which he immediately set about doing. I rarely made much of a fuss over my appearance, so this was an exception to my normal habit. I knew my wife would not expect anything less. I opted for my fancier vest, the one with real gold filigree as well as the gold crown symbol on the left side.

Trixie quickly joined me along with a gaggle of maids fussing over her coat, feathers, mane, and tail. They even gave her hooves a polish and Trixie sicced them onto mine when they were done. We both donned matching amulets that bore the royal seal – a symbol of our authority. My wife then chose her most impressive crown which she reserved for special occasions, but I stuck with my usual understated circlet with the enchanted gem.

Steady pointed out that it was time for us to make our way to the throne room. Trixie was still worried that she looked less than perfect, but I gave her a kiss on the cheek and assured her that she looked every bit as regal as she could possibly be. We then headed out and made our way in a dignified manner to face the Court. We were joined along the way by Twilight who had undergone a similar process as Trixie. This was a little surprising as the purple alicorn’s attitude towards personal grooming and attire leaned a lot more my way than my wife’s.

Twilight noticed my gaze and she blushed a little. “Trixie sent some maids to attend to me,” she confessed.

That explained it and was certainly in keeping with my wife’s focus on appearances. Also, Twilight was wearing her crown and a jeweled peytral, the latter of which she chose in emulation of Celestia.

The three of us stepped into the antechamber adjacent to the Throne Room. Moments later, Celestia and Luna arrived with their escort of Guards. Celestia’s coat was clean and brushed, while Luna’s showed no signs of her flirtation with lightning. Her mane had resumed its normal appearance and the scent of honeysuckle had replaced that of burnt hair. Both wore their peytrals and fancy hoofshoes, but neither wore their crowns. I’m pretty sure that neither of my co-rulers would have objected to them, but it did display their acceptance of their demotion.

A unicorn guardspony held both symbols of their former station in the glow of her magic. “What do Your Highnesses wish to do with these?” she asked.

Trixie replied, “Hold onto them until you are called upon.”

The mare nodded and stepped back. Then the sergeant-at-arms spoke up.

“Your Highnesses – it is now midday. Are you ready to begin?”

I looked at the others and they nodded. I said, “Proceed, Sergeant.”

The stallion stepped through the door and we heard his booming voice call for the attention of the audience. “All rise for Their Highnesses, Princess Trixie Lulamoon, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and Prince Mark Wells!”

As we stepped forth, I murmured to my wife, “Y’know, I miss the time when you were called Empress Trixie at moments like these.”

She smiled smugly without looking my way. “It seems Equestria can truly be called an empire now, so perhaps we can revive the tradition.”

I glanced at Twilight who was on the other side of Trixie and had evidently heard her words. The alicorn looked a little surprised then thoughtful. Quite a change from years ago when she had first confronted the accidentally appointed new leader of the nation.

We did not go to our thrones. Instead, we made our way to the stage that was used for special events. This one had been redecorated along with the rest of the Throne Room when it had been rebuilt. The motif was totally in keeping with Trixie’s tastes and certainly looked like a magician’s stage. Twilight hadn’t been thrilled with the look but did not insist on changing it, and I certainly wasn’t about to upset my wife over it, so it stayed looking like a bit of a sideshow more than something more staid and dignified.

We mounted the stage and turned to face the assembled nobles and commoners, spreading our wings slightly to emphasize our appearance. I was pleased to see a fairly large crowd of citizens despite the hasty and belated notification. I’m sure some of the nobles would have preferred it to be otherwise but we were not doing this just for them.

Trixie took a short step forward and addressed the Court with the usual voice-amplification spell. “My lords, ladies, and citizens of Equestria – we are gathered here for this momentous occasion to announce the long-awaited return of the Royal Sisters. It is our pleasure and joy to present to you the Alicorns of the Sun and Moon – Celestia and Luna!”

I noted that Trixie had carefully avoided calling either a princess. Nevertheless, the two alicorns looked completely regal as they strode forth from the side entrance where they had been waiting. The murmuring of the crowd grew loud as hoof-stomping began, mostly with the commoners. I noticed the more calculated responses among the nobles and had my eyes on a couple in particular. I glanced at my co-rulers. Trixie’s stage presence was perfect as always. She matched the Royal Sisters in quiet dignity and power. Twilight, on the other hoof, was gawking with delight. I suspected it was at seeing her mentor back in the throne room.

Celestia and Luna stopped at the base of the stage and bowed their heads to us.

“Welcome home, Celestia and Luna,” Trixie continued when the noise had died down. “Equestria has missed you.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Celestia replied. “It is our great pleasure to be home at last.”

“Please join us on the stage so that our citizens may behold their beloved former rulers once more.”

The two started to do just that when Jet Set shouted, “What is this about former rulers? Princess Celestia and Princess Luna must immediately take back the throne from these upstarts!”

Well, that didn’t take long, but it was totally expected. It was a given that many nobles would expect Celestia and Luna to resume ruling Equestria and we had discussed this back at the dining hall. No one would take the bet that Jet Set would be the first to open his mouth. The sisters kept mounting the steps and took a place on either side of the three of us as we had previously arranged.

My wife waited until they were in position, listening to growing murmurs among the nobles. She gave them a stern glare and I cued the Sergeant-at-Arms.

“Quiet in the Court!” he bellowed.

When the noise died away, Trixie said, “According to Equestrian law, by being absent from the nation for more than a year and a day, Celestia and Luna forfeited their right to rule. They have both declined the option of the Alicorn Challenge to re-take their position of authority. However, the Triarchy recognizes their station and accomplishments and has decided to confer upon them the title of Princess once more, although in a non-ruling capacity.”

The unicorn Guard with the sisters’ crowns stepped up to the stage then. Trixie levitated one to place on Luna’s head and Twilight proudly put the other on her former mentor.

We had chosen to restore their titles for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it gave the two alicorns official authority to act if needed at all but the highest level, and secondly, we knew we had zero hope of stopping ponies from calling them Princess anyway. It wasn’t as if Equestria wasn’t suffering from a surfeit of princesses already, so what did it matter to have a couple more? We might have to seriously look at the titles of us Triarchs though. Maybe the suggestion of bringing back the Empress title was not such a bad idea after all. With so many other nations under Equestria’s wings now, it would be quite accurate. Not that I wanted to be named an emperor. I barely got used to being called a prince! But that was a subject for another day. Jet Set was shooting off his mouth again.

“You must reconsider your decision not to challenge for the throne, Your Highnesses!”

Celestia merely raised an eyebrow. “Why? I had already planned to retire and had been grooming Twilight Sparkle as my successor. I see that she not only has that position but ascended to alicornhood as I had hoped. In Twilight, not to mention Mark Wells and Trixie Lulamoon also, you have your rightful rulers already.”

Luna spoke up next. “In truth, I had not intended to step down from the throne so soon, but I have satisfied myself that the present rulers are worthy successors. I have yet to decide upon my immediate future, but thou mayest rest assured that I will answer the call if Equestria needeth me.”

“That sounds awfully convenient for the Triarchs,” Opulent Affair said snidely. “How do we know that these aren’t changelings trotted out to appease or mislead us?”

That particular accusation was hardly new and easily anticipated. Fortunately, it was also easily countered.

Trixie replied, “How many of those present witnessed the moonset and sunrise this morning?”

A fair number of hooves were raised among the commoners but only two among the nobles.

“There are your witnesses, Lady Affair. The Alicorns of the Sun and Moon celebrated their return with an unmistakable display of their power. If that is not enough, tonight, Princess Luna has declared her intention to put on a spectacular stellar display that could not be performed by any other being. I trust this will suffice to convince you of their veracity?”

It was obvious that neither was happy but they were stymied for the moment. There would inevitably be more clashes with them and other nobles who resented our positions of power but, for now, the Triarchy remained firm.

Trixie turned her attention to her main audience – the average ponies, griffons, changelings, and other species that comprised the Canterlot populace. “To celebrate the return of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, we declare that tomorrow will be a public holiday. The Crown will host a festival that the Solar and Lunar Alicorns will be attending. Please feel free to meet them in person.” It was a very tight schedule but Twilight had expressed confidence in being able to organize a modest event in the available time. However, she had already declared her intention to pull out all the stops for the Summer Sun Festival.

There were cheers and hoof-stomps from the audience and smiles from the sisters. It was good to know that the populace still loved Celestia and Luna despite being missing for the best part of four years.

My wife continued. “Normal Day Court will resume after lunch. Your Triarchs thank you for attending.” She then led the way off the stage and out of the room, we alicorns following close behind.

We made our way back to the dining hall for lunch. To the sisters’ delight, the royal chefs had remembered their favorite foods and had them ready. I started the conversation with a subject that had me curious.

“Celestia – you said back in the Throne Room that you had been planning to retire. Any particular reason for that?”

The Alicorn of the Sun gave me one of her wise smiles. “I reigned for over a thousand years and it’s time that I stepped aside for new blood. I don’t know if you had noticed, but certain institutions were becoming hidebound and unresponsive to the evolving needs of society. I have already seen more changes in the few hours that we have been back than in the past several decades.”

Twilight frowned. “If you could see those problems, why couldn’t you do anything about them?”

Celestia laughed. “Tell me that you haven’t clashed with the conservative nobility many times? If you let them, they will tie you up in their web. I have danced around them many a time but, inexorably, the web grows tighter at the slightest slip. I am more than willing to step back and let someone take over with newer and fresher approaches. I spent many years searching for an appropriate candidate. I came close once with a young mare with skills almost on a par with Twilight’s but, ultimately, she did not understand the magic of friendship.”

I exchanged knowing glances with Twilight before saying, “Don’t worry. Sunset Shimmer did eventually learn the lesson you tried to teach.”

Celestia’s eyes widened and she gasped. “You know where Sunset is?”

“Yep. We can arrange a visit if you want to. I know for a fact that she wants to square things up with you.”

“I would be most grateful if you would.”

“Done. Anyway, you were saying that you were looking for a candidate. I gather that Twilight was the next after Sunset?”

“Indeed. I am so pleased that you completed your education and achieved ascension, my dear former student.”

Twilight blushed. “It was not without some hiccups.”

“Nothing important ever is,” Celestia reassured her. “So, I had my potential successor and I figured that I would be able to start planning for my retirement about… well… now, considering the years that have passed in our absence.”

“What do you plan to do now that you’re no longer the ruler of Equestria?” Trixie asked.

“I don’t intend to leave you in the lurch while Grogar remains a threat. However, after that, I want to go on some kind of adventure just for the fun of it.”

“And what about you, Luna?” I asked.

The Lunar Alicorn looked thoughtful. “As I said in the throne room, I am too young to be comfortable with the idea of retiring, unlike my ancient and broken-down sister.”

Celestia stuck out her tongue at her before resuming the consumption of a particularly large slice of cake.

Luna continued, “I have yet to decide, but I have been thinking. Thou didst become Prince by marrying Princess Trixie. Mayhap I can marry thee too and regain my throne?”

I gulped. “The law allows only one wife,” I hastily pointed out.

“Herdmate then. Tell me, Trixie, dost thy stallion break easily?”

Trixie rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Just how broken are we talking?” At the look of horror on my face, my wife burst out laughing. “The Great and Wise Empress Trixie must decline your petition, Luna. She prefers her spouse to be in optimum condition to perform his husbandly duties.”

Luna gave me a disappointed look. “A pity, although perhaps a roll in the sheets with him might not be out of the question someday?”

While Trixie could reject an application to join the herd, she had no say in whom I chose to bed. That right lay entirely with the stallion. The wise male listened to his lead mare though and, on this occasion, hide behind her. I may have defeated Luna on the combat ground, but the thought of confronting her in the bedroom made my legs quiver, and not in a good way. “My apologies, Luna, but I am satisfied with my current arrangements.”

Everyone chuckled at this. And that is how the Royal Sisters achieved solidarity with many of the other mares in my life in making me their favorite pony to tease.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

What does a stallion have to do around here to get a little respect?

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 89 - Royal Command Performance #2

Anyone who has ever organized an event knows how much time and effort goes into planning and executing one. Therefore, expecting somebody to put together an impromptu festival to be held the next day would be a ridiculous concept. That is unless you had met Twilight Sparkle. I don’t know how much sleep she got that night, but by the next morning, she had Canterlot buzzing with activity. Of course, most of the populace had heard about the return of the Royal Sisters by then. With everypony fired up to celebrate their return, it wasn’t hard to persuade them to throw in a lot of effort into making it happen.

And so, right at noon after Trixie and I had closed Court for the day, we joined the Princess of Friendship on the stage erected in the City Square. Stalls decorated with bunting and streamers were selling food and souvenirs, the latter most likely dug out of storage… hopefully not the former.

There was even a marching band and the Ponytones entertaining the growing crowd. Fluttershy’s deep, melodic voice carried out over the throng. I was so glad to see her case of stage jitters completely under control. That made me wonder if Zecora put something extra in the Poison Joke extract potion to help the shy mare relax. I caught Rarity’s eye after her performance and she trotted over.

After kissing me, she said, “Isn’t this exciting?!”

“It sure is. I wasn’t expecting to see you and your group though.”

“Oh, darling! How could we stay away? Even Big Macintosh had no trouble taking the time to be with us due to helping Applejack bring their wares to Canterlot and setting up a stall.”

“Kill two birds with one stone – makes sense. How’s the foal? Giving you any problem?” I asked as I caressed her growing belly.

“None whatsoever. I admit that my fears about her interfering with my work have so far been unfounded.”

“Just don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it in the future. I want only the best for both of you.”

“I know you do, dear. Don’t fret so much. Fluttershy has also offered a helping hoof when I get more gravid.”

“She has? That’s odd. I don’t think she was so forward when Twilight was pregnant.”

“To be honest, I think she still harbors some guilt over what she did to you and this is her way of making amends.”

I considered that thought and realized that it was something that Element of Kindness would likely do despite me forgiving her ages ago. “Well, I guess her knowledge of sewing would make her a particularly apt assistant. Still, royal resources will be available when required.”

“That is months away yet. Of more immediate concern is whether you are prepared for our next fashion show tonight.”

I blinked. “Wait. Isn’t that supposed to be next weekend?”

“Darling, the outfits are ready and we have the perfect excuse to move up the schedule. A Royal Command Performance, shall we say?” She gave me a sly grin.

I stared at her, my eyes growing wider. “You want me to show off those outfits in front of Celestia herself?”

“You know that has always been my dream. We both know you look absolutely wonderful in them, so why wouldn’t you want to show them off for the Princess?”

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how right she was. However, that didn’t help the case of nerves that had descended upon me. I hadn’t felt this flustered since the first time I strutted the catwalk.

The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a blur because I was so distracted. I was aware that Trixie had gotten up on the stage and made a stirring speech, although I don’t think I could recall a single word of it. The Royal Sisters flew in from the castle, landing with a flourish. Together, they yelled their greeting in the Royal Canterlot Voice – 'We love you all!' The applause, hoofstomps, and cheers lasted for many minutes. Then the band started playing and… well… somehow I ended up back at the castle with a plush toy of Trixie on my back and carrying half a dozen apple turnovers in my magic. I think it must have been Twilight who jerked me back to reality.

“What did you say?” I asked.

Twilight turned to me with that manic smile of hers that she gets when she has one of her brilliant ideas. “I said, ‘Let's invite Chrysalis to the fashion show’.”

I blinked and stared. “Why would we do that?”

“As part of socializing and friendship lessons, of course. Oh, I forgot to tell you, but now that their existence is out in the open, every changeling queen and several princesses want to meet the Royal Sisters. They’ll all be here before the show starts. Carpacia said she’s been looking forward to this day for over a century. Just think of the bonds of friendship that will be forged tonight!” As always, Twilight positively beamed when talking about her favorite subject matter.

My co-ruler sighed. “Back on topic. How can we expect Chrysalis to feel accepted if we don’t allow her to participate in the activities of her peers?”

“And what do you think Celestia is going to think about that? Not to mention how I feel about having the bug queen mocking me!”

“How do you know that she will do that?” Twilight challenged.

I didn’t, but that didn’t stop it from feeling weird. I turned to Rarity as my last hope. “What do you think, Rares?”

My herdmate looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well… I admit that I am not enthused at the thought, but it would be remiss of me to overlook getting the viewpoint of another changeling queen. Come to think of it, perhaps her opinions might inspire a new line of fashions to suit changeling royalty.”

I stared, betrayed. She was supposed to rescue her stallion! Now I was truly stuck. I sighed. “I give up. Chrysalis can come – if you can persuade her.” The way my luck was running, the changeling queen was probably a closet fashionista too.

As much as I enjoy strutting my stuff on the catwalk, the truth of the matter is that being a fashion model is hard work. The many periods of intense emotional focus and physical activity always left me worn out by the end of the fashion show. That made the after-party my favorite time of the entire day.

The Element Bearers and more changeling and pony royalty than I had ever seen in one place milled around the Canterlot Castle banquet room. Wide swaths of fabric draped across the ceiling, alternating between the purple of Rarity’s mane and the sapphire blue of her cutie mark. The lady of the hour was holding forth on the far side of the chamber. She waxed lyrical about the fine points of her Spring Collection to Queen Carpacia and the Red Hive princesses. Secretly, I suspected the changeling royals were there to soak up the freely given love my herdmate gave off when discussing her passion.

As always, Pinkie Pie bounced around the party, double-checking that everybeing was staying at the appropriate level of Pinkie-scale happiness. The Element of Laughter had suggested that Rarity’s Spring Fashion Royal Rollout Blowout (her words, not Rarity’s) be a crownless affair. All the various queens, princesses plus the odd prince or king were instructed to arrive without their royal finery and just mingle like equals for the show and after-party. Rarity had added the proviso that a fashion show was still a business affair and foals were not allowed to attend.

As for me, I had remained in my long-maned Marklestia form since the fashion show and hadn’t bothered to remove the cutie-mark patches applied to my flanks. They weren’t getting in the way while I lounged against my wife who insisted on pampering me with champagne and the occasional hors d’oeuvres. I luxuriated in her embrace and wasn’t about to argue, given how infrequently this happened.

Trixie said, “You’ve worked hard today, Dowser. Let Twilight worry about entertaining the guests. After all, that is why Trixie invited her to become a co-ruler of Equestria.”

I snorted and looked up into Trixie’s eyes from where my head lay against her chest. “Is that the only reason?”

My wife shrugged. “As good a reason as any other.” She leaned her head down and we shared a kiss.

When our lips parted, I gave my wife her just due. “I don’t think the show would have been as good without you providing those marvelous backdrops for me to work in. Your illusion magic has certainly kicked up a couple of notches since you gained your wings.”

“Trixie has been working hard on her Great and Powerful skills. She is destined to be an alicorn too, one day,” she replied with her usual utter confidence.

“I have no doubts at all about that,” I replied with a proud smile.

A cheer went up, drawing our attention to the doorway. Luna pranced toward us, smiling and nodding to those who had acknowledged her. She settled down next to the real Celestia, who was nursing a tall mug of something Pinkie called “butterbeer”. According to the party pony, Discord had brought the recipe back from one of the more nonsensical dimensions he had visited during his quest to find the Royal Sisters.

Just like the original Solar Alicorn model, I found the sugary rum-infused drink to be delightful. My current state of relaxation might have had something to do with the drinking contest Celestia and I were goaded into. We had stood up, crossed forelegs, then downed mug after mug of butterbeer. After four rounds ended in a dead heat, the fifth resulted in a stumble and a crash of flailing limbs. Worst of all, beer was spilled, even if it was just butterbeer. I will swear to my dying day that Celestia was the one who lost her balance first.

I pricked my ears. “So I understand you had an eventful evening, Luna?”

“Bwa, ha, ha! The most entertaining in ages! And I have thee and Lady Rarity to thank for that. Permit me to retell how it began...”

I walked down the hallway in the lowest level of the dungeon, head held high. Mine escort of four guardsponies and two mages scanning their eyes and horns in all directions. Soon, I came to my destination and turned to face the cell’s occupant. Chrysalis was lying down, knitting the longest scarf I had beheld in my considerable lifetime. The queen’s head jerked upwards in apparent surprise, her eyes wide and ears perked forward. As I had hoped, she had not been informed of the return of myself or my sister.

At my nod, the unicorn guard on my right dropped the magic fields in the doorway. I said, “I believe 'tis traditional for thou to walk to our destination.”

Chrysalis shuddered and took a deep breath. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then appeared to change her mind. Slowly, she stood, carefully laying her knitting needles onto the floor as to not disturb her work. The prisoner strode by my side until we reached the Castle Theater, neither of us saying a word. The jailers waited outside as Chrysalis and I entered through a doorway below and to the left of the stage. Numerous voices and the sounds of carpentry emanated behind the deep red curtain.

I turned to face Chrysalis. “I believe thou already knowest the changeling queens and princesses, the Element Bearers, as well as Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor.” Indeed, all turned to face us. Many showed differing levels of hostility. I smiled at the blinking queen. “Well, no more dilly-dallying, as they say. Come hither.” I trotted up the aisle toward the upper rows of orchestra seating. The mezzanine and balcony were empty.

My companion didn’t move. “Wait… what? … Why is everybeing here?”

I stopped and turned around. “Lady Rarity is presenting her Spring Line and she hath arranged for a Royal Opening Show! Twilight pointed out most sensibly that we cannot have it without every royal, now can we? We get to see these latest fashions before all others. Verily, is that not exciting?” At her continued open-mouthed stare, I said, “Why? What didst thou thinkest the event would be?”

“I…” she shook her head. “Never mind.”

“Come along then! Tia loves to sit further to the rear of the theater and thou shalt sit between us.” Chrysalis stumbled a bit as she started forward. Because she seemed to be distracted just putting one hoof in front of the other, it fell to me to wave to the various attendees. I whispered in the queen’s ear. “Thy responsibility is to inform me of my sister’s emotions at all times.”

Celestia stared levelly at my plus one as I practically shoved the queen into the seat between us. Slowly, my sister turned to face forward again, though one eye stayed fixed on Chrysalis.

I jolted the queen out of her stupor. The fake smile and ears splayed on her head were unbecoming of her station. I arched an eyebrow. “Well?”

Chrysalis put on a most unconvincing smile. “Suspicious and unfriendly.”

“Hmm, I suppose that doth stands to reason.” Then I smirked and motioned toward the stage. “That will change once the show begins.”

After a brief silence, Chrysalis found her voice again. “Just so I understand, why is it that I don't feel hate radiating off of you?”

I could only presume she meant in comparison to many of the other attendees. Still, I scoffed. “Pshaw. Hate the only other mare to survive two attempts to take over Equestria? Unlikely. I choose to believe we have both paid for our missteps and became the wiser for it.” Then I frowned. “Why are there not boiled peanuts being handed out? I require sustenance. Or better yet, roses and rotten fruit. How can the audience convey their admiration or scorn without the proper projectiles?

The lights dimmed and everybeing migrated to their seats. Princess Diadem strode up to the center of the stage, entering the glare of a single spotlight. She looked most impressive in her black suit, black tie, and starched white shirt.

“Changelings, ponies, honored guests all. Today is a special day. For this day, you shall be transported away from your cares and into the world of fashion. All things are possible in this realm of the imagination. Consider, if you will, how the life of every alicorn is like a jewel. Each day, each lifetime a facet forever turning – forever showing you a new aspect previously unseen. Come! Delight in these lives of the alicorn by day! Experience the Spring Gale Line by Rarity!”

The changeling princess spread her wings and zoomed upwards into the stage rigging. In a moment, she was lost among the spotlights and girders. A peppy orchestral number started up, the sound carrying from wooden boxes lining the walls of the theater. The curtain pulled back, revealing a screen of frosted glass spread across half the stage. Lighting from behind showed the silhouette of my sister but dressed in apparel unfamiliar to me. When the music reached the second refrain, Mark Wells in his Celestial form trotted out from behind the screen and posed.

As more lights illuminated the stage, the screen faded away. Instead, I beheld a stone walkway surrounded by flowering bushes. A breeze blew Marklestia’s mane and tail to the side, revealing a sharp but exquisitely feminine suit of faint stripes. Jeweled slippers and a pendant completed the look. She bounced down the catwalk that split the first twenty rows of theater seating. Spotlights illuminated her as she strode the length, flashing her winning smile first one direction then the next. Light applause and an appreciative buzzing rolled through the audience.

“Oh!”

I turned to look at Chrysalis. She continued. “That Celestia is supremely confident and pleased with the adulation directed her way.” Chrysalis then inclined her head toward my sister. “This one is more than a bit scandalized but can't hide her pleasure all the same.”

Luna grinned as she looked around. By this point, the remaining conversations had died out and the Night Alicorn had everyone’s undivided attention. “The changeling queen and I leaned closer and closer to each other as we enjoyed the show. Trixie’s flawless scenery illusions exquisitely highlighted each fashion bringing out another aspect of my sister. Aspects that no pony beside myself had beheld since our youth: coquettish, imperial, rebellious. Chrysalis praised the emotional content of the production as well. Mark inhabited each role with vigor and conviction. I was assured all emotivores found the event doubly entertaining as a result.”

Murmuring from all around me along with head nods and smiles emphasized the point. I felt a warm spot in my chest… or perhaps that was the result of Trixie idly rubbing my coat there.

Luna cocked an eyebrow at her sister, who tried to shrink down and hide behind her mug of butterbeer – without any degree of success. “Each fashion trotted out made my dear sister slightly abashed at the intrusion into her life but much more gratified by the adoration she received from the audience, even by proxy. Who wouldn't be pleased with having their beauty revealed to others? Why, by the time the curtain fell on the first line of fashions, my dear sister was positively smug.”

The dark alicorn’s smile turned nasty. I was almost certain I saw a hint of fangs. “After the intermission, the real show started.”

Again, the bedlam past the red curtain had died down. Princess Diadem strode up to the center of the stage.

“Most revered audience, it is because of you that these creations exist. Thank you for the patronage of your attention. We can only hope that this day will live on in your memories, for it is there that true immortality lies.” With a large flourish, the changeling princess bowed.

Just before the silence became uncomfortable, the whispers of a steady beat filled the air. Slowly, it rose in volume. Diadem stood tall again and raised her voice to be heard above the pulsing rhythm. I recognized the music of the Ponyville musician Pony DJ Pon 3. This was one of her more energetic songs.

Diadem began swaying her hips to the beat. “Alicorns are beings of great passion. For every foray into the responsibilities of the day, there is another into the pleasures of the night.” She raised her wings and her voice. “Gentlebeings! I present to you, the Sharp Lance Line from Rarity!”

That got mine attention. Next to me, Chrysalis exclaimed, “Both of you have the same mix of pleasure, scandal, and excitement? Who is this ‘Sharp Lance’?”

Before I could answer, Diadem had again escaped to the rafters and the curtain pulled back… to reveal a side of my sister that I, without question, had never beheld.

The black straps certainly looked like leather from this distance, making the ensemble even more shocking. Add that to the salacious look Marklestia shot our way and I couldn’t hold back a gasp, hearing the same mere inches away. Somehow, Chrysalis and I ended up with our forelegs wrapped around each other. A glance showed the changeling queen wore the same wide-eyed, open-mouthed grin that was doubtless plastered on my face. As for my sister, her eyes were even bigger and pink was spreading rapidly across her cheeks.

Marklestia showed off every aspect of my sister’s body much to the delight of the whooping and hollering crowd. To be honest, I know Celestia hath not that level of coordination or the ability to take over a stage with such a display of raw sexiness.

Soon, Chrysalis and I were jumping up and down like best friends at a stallion’s club. The queen yelled out, “I have a bit! I have a bit!” but there is no way her voice carried over the deep bass beat of the music.

The fun continued throughout the show with Marklestia flaunting imaginatively daring designs that I had never perceived even in the wildest imaginations of ponies’ dreams. My sister’s increasing mortification and envy, as confirmed by my plus one, lasted until the final fashion of the night.

The lighting fell until there was but a single spotlight on the stage and the outfit was strutted out by a changeling who was definitely not in Celestia’s form.

Black velvet leggings and corsets hugged the body of my doppelganger on stage. Deep purple highlights defined the edges of the fabric and thus my form. Hoof slippers and a choker constructed of silver filigree accented with amethysts completed the ensemble. I was quite certain I never wiggled my backside in the manner of this copy of myself that strode confidently out onto the catwalk. I stammered a bit, quite at a loss for words. This time, 'twas Chrysalis and my sister’s turn to hold each other upright as they laughed themselves silly at my stupor.

Luna sighed. “Turnabout is fair play, I admit. Still, all things come to an end. After the curtain call, I traveled with our resident changeling queen back down to her dungeon cell. We compared notes about our favorite pieces. I inquired about the existence of changeling fashions. Chrysalis objected that such an endeavor would be pointless since changelings could assume any shape. I countered that unless Chrysalis had the fashion sense of Lady Rarity, a disguised changeling’s effect on stallions and mares would never be as strong as it could be. She conceded the point. Ultimately, both of us hummed the opening song to the second part of the fashion show.”

“I held out a hoof to stop Chrysalis from entering her cell. I said, ‘Forsooth, thou cannot pretend to me that thou didst not enjoy the festivities of today. There is a path thou canst choose to follow that doth not end in this dungeon. All of Equestria and Equus awaits thee. Methinks thou canst make that transition.’ At the queen’s unyielding expression, I decided to make one more appeal. ‘Is pride so important that thou must continue into this cell forevermore?’ ”

“Chrysalis’ expression hardened for a moment, then she looked at me with a glint in her eye. Her smile showed off her fangs. ‘Ah, Your Highness – do not assume I am only motivated by pride’. ”

“She walked regally back into her cell, settled down, and again picked up her knitting.”

Luna forcefully levitated the nearly full mug away from her sister. When it arrived in the night alicorn’s hoof, she downed the contents faster than either Celestia or I had managed.

She belched loudly then smiled. “Now then. Enough about my day. 'Tis now evening and I insist that we party!”

Cheers erupted from all around me and several mugs and glasses lifted in the air. I rolled back onto my hooves and stood up. The Mistress of the Night had given an order and I was not one to disobey!

Trixie had been particularly amorous that evening, more than the stimulation of the fashion show could be responsible for. The reason why was quite obvious now that I knew better than to ignore the signs – one of the minor heats had come around. With all the hints about foals that she had been making lately, I would not be surprised if she declared that tonight was the night to do something about it. While I wasn’t sure if having another child already was a good idea, Trixie was the one who got to make the final decision. I was just along for the ride, so to speak.

During intermissions of our lovemaking, my wife insisted I give her pole dancing shows. Thanks to the two weeks of lessons taught by professional dance-ponies, Carousel and Petina, my Celestial form never failed to restore my wife’s libido. My stallion form, however, did not have anything close to that level of dexterity and muscle control. That allowed me to play up the pratfalls and over-the-top sultry looks, both of which reduced Trixie to howls of laughter.

The next night, Penny walked with us to our suite, as usual, prior to going off-duty. I was about to bid her goodnight before entering the bedroom but she spoke up.

“Beg pardon, Your Highnesses, but may I have a word with both of you in private?”

I raised an eyebrow but Trixie merely nodded and said, “Come inside, Lieutenant Penumbra.” She dismissed her own bodyguard, Sergeant Thunderbolt, with Royal Guards taking over the protective duties.

After I shut the door behind us, I asked, “Okay, what’s bugging you, Penny?”

“The same thing that’s bothering Princess Trixie at the moment. I’m in heat too and it’s time you fulfilled your promise to sire a foal in me.”

“Oh. Right.” I was momentarily nonplussed but Trixie giggled at my reaction. My dear wife was determined to milk this moment to the end. However, I had a slight twist to add.

“Y’know, you still haven’t brought Lightning Strike to meet me. You’d think that your special somepony would be interested in having a little bit of interaction with the sire of her future foal.”

Penny’s expression was uncertain and she looked down at her shuffling hooves. “Yeah, well, while Strike was more than pleased with my choice of stud, she didn’t want to presume on any familiarity with one of the Triarchs.”

“She certainly doesn’t,” I agreed affably, “And she was quite surprised to find out that she was in a relationship with you.”

Penny’s head jerked up and her eyes went wide for a moment. “Oh. You’ve met her,” the bat pony said with a nervous smile.

“Yep. Your drinking buddy is quite the nice mare,” I said with a grin. “Very fun-loving lesbian and dedicated single. Definitely not ready for a foal either.”

Penny wilted a little but said nothing.

I turned my expression serious. “Time to fess up. Why the charade?”

The bat pony sighed. “I knew you would say no if I didn’t have a mate.”

“You might be right, but whatever happened to Maximum Lift? You never explained why you two broke up.”

“We had irreconcilable differences over ideas about our future. I wanted the security of a herd while Maxie wanted nothing to do with a stallion beyond a casual acquaintance.”

“But she’s had a foal now – did she just settle for stud service?”

“Yeah. I don’t even know who with.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted me to do?”

Penny shook her head. “Maxie is a pure lesbian. To her, a male was an obligatory compromise to conceive a foal. Me? I have a sexual preference for mares, but it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like the occasional roll in the hay with a stallion. Even you,” she added with a hint of her usual snarkiness.

“Trixie is not surprised,” my wife said with a smirk. “She thought so from the day you applied to be Park Yells’ bodyguard.”

“Thanks a lot, Lulu.” I turned back to Penny. “So, why did you ask me to just be your stud if you wanted to mate into a herd?”

Penny sighed. “If you must know, it’s because I have no prospects for a herd at the moment but I want a foal now. I know that you, with your bizarre otherworldly ideas, would want to take an interest in any foal you sired. And, because I work with you almost every day, I would be able to share her with you as she grew up. Plus, as your bodyguard, I would still play the role of protecting my stallion as any good herd-mare should.”

The reversal of gender roles was never so blatant as this. I had learned that both Trixie and Rarity were expected to protect me rather than the other way around. Any additional mares joining the herd would be obligated to do the same by this society’s values. It felt weird but I could understand why considering the relative shortage of stallions. “So, what you’re saying is that you were aiming to get the benefits of a herd without officially being in a herd.”

She hung her head. “Yeah, I suppose that’s what I was doing. I’m sorry.”

I sighed. “I wish you had been honest with me. I can’t accept that, Penny.”

“I understand. I’ll take my leave now, sir.” Penny turned towards the door.

“Trixie thinks you don’t understand at all.”

Penny paused and looked back with a small frown. “What do you mean, Your Highness?”

“You asked us, specifically me, the wrong question.”

I regarded my wife with a lifted eyebrow. She merely smiled and nodded.

“What question?” Penny asked, obviously confused.

“You know the answer to that. Now be off with you two – the Great and Wise Trixie needs her beauty sleep.” The smug blue pegacorn then kissed me and headed off to the bathroom to prepare for the night.

“Goodnight, love,” I said before I started for the door to our chambers. As I opened it, Penny spoke up.

“What did Princess Trixie mean? She was as confusing as you, and that takes effort.”

“She meant that you don’t know me as well as you think you do. Come on – you can figure it out as we go to my room.” I gave a nod to Trixie’s Guards as we passed. Thestral Night Guards would be along soon to relieve them. I then headed up the hall towards my suite.

Once we were out of earshot, Penny asked, “Is this another one of those ‘think like a hee-you-man’ mysteries? Okay, I give up.”

“I’ll give you a clue. I’ll keep my promise to sire a foal for you, but only if you raise her or him in the security of a herd.”

She frowned. “But I told you that I don’t have any prospects for joining a herd.”

I chuckled. “So, I finally found your blind spot. Yes, you do.” A minute later, we reached my room and one of the Royal Guards stationed there opened the door for me. “After you,” I said to Penny with a sweep of my hoof.

“But…”

I just raised an eyebrow and waited.

She rolled her eyes and went inside. I gave the Guard a wink and followed Penumbra, closing the door firmly behind me.

“What now?” Penny queried. “Twenty questions? OK, I’ll start. Have you hit your head against a hard surface recently?”

“No. Now, you need to ask the right question,” I replied as I took off my vest and crown.

“Argh! Why must you be so obtuse? I swear you’re worse than Zecora! And you can’t even rhyme!”

“It took me a while to learn most of the social rules for ponies. Even if they’ve sent me into a spin occasionally, I’ve come to understand them. I’m sure about this one – you’re the one who has to ask.”

“I’ve already asked for your foal!”

“And I’ve told you that I’ll give you one if you’ll join a herd,” I replied with a smile.

“But I haven’t got… a…” Her words dried up as her eyes widened. “Wait. You don’t mean—? But I couldn’t…”

Awesome – she was completely flustered. I could tell because her voice didn’t even have a hint of snark.

“This is just a formality because the lead-mare has already given her consent. Nevertheless, ask,” I said simply.

Penny gulped. “Mark Wells, would you do me the honor of being my stallion and allowing me to join your herd?”

“Penumbra, I could not ask for a more loyal and trustworthy friend. It would be my honor to have you as my mare. Welcome to our herd,” I replied formally, then I grinned. “There! That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Penny pulled a face. “You didn’t have to be such a pain in the plot about it.”

I laughed. “Oh, yes I did. If ever I was going to be one up on you, it had to be now. So, are you ready to consummate the union?”

“I’m not sure if I’m in the mood now,” she said with a growl.

I switched to Marklestia form and posed sexily. “Does this help, lover-mare?”

She grinned, showing off her fangs. I shuddered a bit. Admittedly, I may not have thought through all the implications. “Now you're talking!” she declared.

Foreplay with the mare of her dreams certainly did the trick. When she was good and ready, I switched back to being a stallion and, suffice to say, I gave her that foal she wanted. Despite the extra height I'd gained after becoming an alicorn, she was still significantly bigger than me which made the act… interesting. I admit that while I had never planned to take on another herdmate, this was a decision that I reckoned I would never regret.

Even if I never won a battle of wits with her again!

I woke the next morning to find Penny already awake and gazing at me with an inscrutable expression on her face.

“A bit for your thoughts,” I said.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’d better not have given me an alicorn foal.”

“You know I have no control over that.”

Penny stuck her very long tongue out at me. “No excuses!”

“It's like having a second wife,” I grumbled.

She giggled, which was a first. “Let me show you the benefits of being a good stallion.”

Sometimes I’m very glad it's a mare’s world.

# # # # # # #

Please read Author's Note!

Author's Note

So much art for one chapter! Did you like the one of Mark mating with Penny?
What? There isn't one? Well, the picture that I commissioned from Backlash91 exists but, while it is tasteful, it still exceeds Fimfiction's rules for NSFW art. However, if you're curious and feeling generous, give me a tip on Ko-Fi and send me a note. I will then send you a link to the pic. Or just send me a note without the tip – I'm not greedy.

Other art credits:
Marklestia Fashion Model – Fantazyme - commissioned for this chapter.
Pole Dancer – Baron Engel - used with permission.
Mixed Reactions – Foxenawolf - commissioned for this chapter.
Lingerie Luna – Longinius - used with permission.

Chapter 90 - Look Who's Back!

Staying on high alert constantly can be very wearing to the spirit, and the performance of one’s duties can suffer if it is allowed to continue without a break. So, although Grogar and his stooges remained a major threat, the Triarchy made sure that all levels of defense got regular relief. That included Trixie, Twilight, and me. Because at least one of Equestria’s rulers needed to be at hoof at any time, Sparkles took her break on a different day from me and my wife. Therefore, it was just the two of us at Twilight’s castle preparing to spend the afternoon at the Ponyville Spa with our friends. However, we had not planned on others dropping in unannounced.

Spike poked his head into the living room where I was waiting for my spouse and said, “Hey, Mark – you’ve got a visitor.”

“Yeah? I wasn’t expecting anypony. Who is it?”

“See for yourself,” he answered with a grin, opening the door wide to reveal a dark yellow unicorn mare with a yellow and red-striped mane.

I blinked. “Sunset Shimmer? Not that I’m unhappy to see you again but what are you doing in Equestria?” I noticed Rainbow Dash and Twilight behind her although something looked off about them. “Did Twi bring you here? Is there a problem back on your world?”

“Yes and no,” Sunset replied. “Twilight didn’t bring me – I brought her.”

I glanced at Twilight for confirmation and realized that she was wearing glasses, something she only used when reading occasionally. Only then did I perceive a distinct lack of wings. “Sci-Twi?”

The mare nodded nervously.

I looked at Rainbow Dash who appeared to be far from her usual confident self. “Can I presume that you’re the human Dash?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” she replied. “Weird to see you as a pony, Mark.”

I had paid a couple of brief visits to Sunset’s Earth since our first encounter once my Twilight determined that the mirror portals could be opened deliberately if you knew how. Therefore, I had met the alicorn’s human counterpart but this was the first time that any of them had come to this world aside from Sunset. I grinned. “I know what you mean, Rainbow. I felt just as weird when I first arrived in Equestria. At least you won’t be stuck here. Anyway, welcome to Equestria.” I turned back to Sunset. “So, why are you here? I don’t reckon you suddenly decided to pay us a visit.”

Sunset laughed. “No, far from it. The girls and I were on a holiday cruise when we encountered a weird storm.”

“An evil magic storm!” Dash declared, her wings flaring unconsciously to emphasize the point. The mare’s eyes went wide as she looked over her withers. Dash glanced at me, her cheeks a shade of pink as she tried to push her unruly appendages back down with her forehooves.

The yellow unicorn rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, Rainbow Dash ran off alone in search of this magic and as the storm was getting worse, Twilight and I went to find her. We ended up on an island and found Rainbow stuck in what seemed to be quicksand. Before we could rescue her, we were attacked by a huge vicious plant monster.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Plant monster? Pardon my ignorance, but I didn’t think that kind of thing happened in your world.”

Sunset nodded. “It doesn’t. Anyhow, while Twilight held it off, I tried to get Rainbow out but she was truly stuck. Then I realized that it wasn’t quicksand but just some dirt covering up a portal that locked onto her somehow.”

An alarm bell went off in my head. “Portals don’t just happen,” I said with a frown.

“I’m not an expert on them like your Twilight, but I agree. However, it was there and leaking Equestrian magic which explained the animated botanical nightmare trying to eat us. The only safe route out of there was going through the portal. I figured that if it led to Equestria, then we could take a less dangerous way back home.”

“Where did you emerge into this world?” I asked.

“The Everfree Forest.”

I snorted. “No wonder you encountered a monstrous plant then. The question is – what is a portal doing there at all? We’re currently dealing with an enemy named Grogar who has traveled between dimensions and now intends to conquer this world. I suspect that yours might have been a way-stop for him, or some other part in his plans.”

Sunset frowned. “If he’s that bad, why didn’t he attack our world?”

“This is just speculation but, because he’s a heavy-duty magic-user and your dimension is a bit sparse on the mana side, it might have not suited him.”

“Thank Celestia for small mercies.”

Her comment made me realize something. I waved over Spike who had been listening curiously to our conversation. “Can you send a message for me, pal?” I asked as I picked up one of the ballpoint pens that Sunset had sent to me.

“Sure, Mark. Who to?”

“You’ll see.” I wrote a note and showed it to him.

Spike read it and grinned. “Gotcha.” One burst of dragonfire later, the message was on its way.

“Why did Spike burn the message?” Sci-Twi asked, fascinated by the dragon form of the dog she was familiar with. She rubbed behind one of his ears with a hoof. I was about to admonish the purple now-mare for treating Spike like a pet when Spike’s grin made me stop.

“Oh, yeah! That’s the spot, alright. Anyway, I didn’t just burn it,” he replied. “It’s magic fire and it transports the note to the intended recipient.”

“Oh, that’s fascinating. How does that work?”

I forestalled this turning into a science lecture. “Time for that later. I’ve asked my Twilight to join us to discuss this portal, plus one other expert.”

“Who?” asked Sunset. “Do I know them?”

Before I could answer, there was a flash-pop of teleportation into the room and two alicorns appeared.

“You could say so,” I replied drolly.

Sunset’s eyes widened enormously, her jaw dropped, and she gasped. “Princess Celestia?”

The Alicorn of the Sun’s face was radiating joy. “Sunset Shimmer! Is it truly you after all these years?”

For a long moment, it seemed that both were frozen in place by the strength of their emotions. I snorted and lit up my horn, telekinetically pushing them together. “For buck’s sake, you two. Hug and make up!”

The ice broken, the mares did exactly that. Wordlessly, they clung together as if afraid the other would disappear, Celestia’s wings wrapped around the smaller mare in a feathery embrace. I saw tears beginning to leak from the eyes of both participants.

The hug lasted a long time while the rest of us waited. Eventually, Sunset pushed back from Celestia to look up to her former mentor.

“I’m so sorry. You were right—”

“Hush! This is not the occasion for regrets. I am just so happy to see you alive and well. I never knew what happened to you when you left.”

Sunset sniffled and wiped her cheeks with her hoof before turning to face Sci-Twi and Rainbow. “I ended up in a place that I needed to be to learn the true meaning of friendship. Princess, these are two of my best friends – Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle… not to be confused with Princess Twilight. They’re normally human, other-world equivalents to the ponies here.”

“It’s hard not to see the resemblance and yet some subtle differences,” Celestia remarked, looking over our visitors. “Thank you for being Sunset’s friends.”

“Yeah, no biggy,” Dash said with a grin.

Sci-Twi looked embarrassed. “Actually, it was Sunset who taught me about friendship. I was late to the scene.”

“That is wonderful too. You must tell me all about it later.” Celestia turned back to Sunset. “May I ask what brought you back to Equestria today? Although I am overjoyed about our reunion, you could not have known I would be here.”

Our visitors repeated their tale about the storm and the portal. Twilight frowned at the news.

“I don’t like this – it’s too coincidental.”

I nodded. “Agreed. I propose we go back to Sunset’s world and check it out. Besides, if that storm is magical, their ship could be in serious danger.”

“Oh, it’s magical, alright!” Rainbow insisted. “The others didn’t see that weird symbol in the storm waters but I know magic when I see it.”

“What symbol was that?” Alicorn Twilight asked.

“Got a piece of paper and pen?”

Spike handed one of Twilight’s ballpoint pens to her and I got to see a repeat of my initial performance with a knife when entering this world. Grab with a hoof, drop, grab, drop. Rainbow’s scowl made me fight hard to suppress a laugh.

“Try using your mouth,” I said. That earned me a glare. “Earth ponies write that way all the time.” After one more suspicious look, the blue mare picked up the pen with her teeth.

Spike and I held the paper in place while Rainbow sketched an all too familiar pair of jagged bolts before spitting out the pen.

I looked at Twilight and we simultaneously said, “Storm King.”

“Who’s this Storm King?” asked Sci-Twi with a furrowed brow.

“One of the major threats to Equestria,” I replied. “Ask us about him later. Right now, we need to go check this out pronto.”

“Check what out?” Trixie asked as she belatedly arrived wearing a bath-robe in anticipation of our trip to the spa. Then she blinked in confusion at seeing two Twilights before noticing Sunset Shimmer. “Will somepony tell the Great and Curious Trixie what is going on?”

Rainbow cocked her head. “Huh. You really did marry Trixie.”

I said, “A possible incursion by the Storm King, love. We have to investigate it and help Sunset and her friends. Spike can fill you in. Give my apologies to the rest of the girls.” I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and hastened out of the room, motioning for Sunset to follow. No doubt my wife was going to give me hell for ditching her like that, but I figured that time was of the essence.

Penny was waiting for me outside the room. It was her day off too but I knew better than to leave her behind. “Get my staff. We have a storm problem.”

Instantly professional, Penumbra nodded and flew off at top speed.

“I’ll be back in a moment!” my Twilight declared before teleporting away.

Celestia and I walked toward the castle entrance, taking it slow for our visitor’s sake. I looked up to the white alicorn. “Are you sure you want to come with us, Celestia? You will likely end up in human form there and won’t have your full powers at your disposal. In fact, you might not have any at all.”

She arched an eyebrow at me. “Might not the same be said about you?”

I grinned. “Yeah, but I will have something to even the odds.”

Penny rejoined us just before we left the castle, bearing the Staff of Sacanas. After all the stolen magic in it had been returned to its rightful owners, Twilight and Trixie decided that it would best serve as my personal weapon because it matched my special power. It was still very large compared to me, but I could handle it well enough with my magic. It didn’t stop the smart-ass remarks though.

“Trying to compensate for something, Mark?” Rainbow asked with a grin. She was covered in a lavender field and flapping first one wing, then the other in an uncoordinated dance. Sure enough, Princess Twilight was hovering nearby like a mother hen making sure her chick didn’t go flying off into the nearest tree.

“Very funny, Rainbow Crash,” I replied. Compared to how little my Rainbow cared to stay on the ground, the human Dash had not tried to take to the air the entire time she had been here up until now. This little display led me to believe that she had been having almost as hard a time learning to fly as a pony as I’d had. The blush coloring her cheeks told me that I had scored.

Twilight returned, wearing her crown. While it wasn’t the one that bore the Element of Magic, it was nevertheless imbued with several powerful spells of Twilight’s creation that could be very useful where we would be going.

Because Sci-Twi and Rainbow were slowing us down due to unfamiliarity with their pony bodies, Twilight levitated them both so that they could keep up, much to Dash’s embarrassment. Celestia did the same for Sunset so that the rest of us could take wing and make speed for the forest. Sunset guided us to the site of the rogue portal which, fortunately, was not too far from the protected safe path to the Castle of the Two Sisters.

Twilight examined the portal, her horn lit with probing spells.

“Hmmm. It uses a binding matrix different from Star Swirl’s method. That could account for its persistence despite the sub-optimal conditions.”

“Time for analysis later, Sparkles,” I said. “As long as it can get us there and back, you can examine it to your heart’s content later.”

Twilight looked disappointed but nodded. “Alright. It’s safe to proceed.”

“I’m going first,” I said, firmly grasping my staff. I dived into the portal to find myself hip-deep in quicksand. No… it was dry. Just sand then.

Fortunately, I had my weapon raised high enough that it was free and ready to use against the plant monster if it chose to attack. I was not disappointed. One thoroughly fried inimical vegetable later, I had secured the area and was joined by the others. I used the staff to levitate everyone free of the portal’s grip, just as I had done for myself.

Because clothing was often a problem when transitioning between dimensions as my initial foray to Sunset’s world had shown, Twilight had developed a persistent spell that clothed us in garments as our bodies transformed. Therefore, I was currently dressed in jeans, polo shirt, and sneakers. Twilight arrived in a skirt, blouse, and boots, while Penny wore slacks, halter top, and shoes. Sunset and friends retrieved their abandoned clothing, but Celestia had neither option. The alicorn arrived as a naked, tall, well-endowed woman. While curious about her new form, she was completely oblivious to her nudity. The same could not be said for myself and I was very happy to be clothed right then and my wife was not there to observe me. Penny’s smirk told me that she had not missed my reaction though. I made an effort to focus on the task at hand.

“Okay, Sunset – which way from here?”

“Follow me.”

The dense forest had been protecting us from the winds of the storm that was darkening the skies, but we were subjected to the worst of it when we emerged onto the beach. While it was not raining yet, the black clouds threatened to drench us soon.

Sci-Twi gasped. “The ship!”

Far too close to the shore, a modern cruise ship could be seen through the haze listing to one side. I guessed that it had run aground, perhaps tearing open the hull. Whatever the case, we had to deal with the storm first. The girls stood back as I planted the base of my staff into the sand and called upon my magic. Just as Sunset and her friends had amulets to call upon Equestrian magic, so did the Staff of Sacanas work for me as I had hoped. I felt the connection to the storm and confirmed the unnatural power flowing inside it. I pushed my will through the link and a flare of lightning reached up to the clouds, drawing them in. I pulled the Equestrian magic out of the storm, robbing it of its supernatural energy. After several minutes, the wind died down and the skies cleared.

“Whew!” I said, trembling a little from my efforts. Magic did not come without a price. I sank to the sand to rest. “Your turn, ladies.”

My magic in this form was very limited, but the other mares, or I should say, girls, had other talents. I got to watch as the seven friends quickly and efficiently evacuated all the passengers and crew from the ship before it overturned and sank. Rainbow Dash was as effective as her pony counterpart now that she was back in her natural form, while Sci-Twi and Rarity were also particularly useful. Even Celestia did her share, a previously unnoticed bracelet glowing with power as she levitated people from the boats to the shore. She saw me watching and gave me a wink. I should have known that the centuries-old alicorn had a few tricks up her sleeve. At least she had a sleeve now that Rainbow Dash had brought her a robe taken from beside the deck pool on her first trip over to the ship. Unfortunately, I found the very long swath of leg that appeared where the robe folded over to be even more distracting than plain-old nude Celestia. Rarity’s mantra of the purpose of intimate fashion came to mind: hint at what is underneath to entice any stallion. Celestia’s smirk told me that she noticed my discomfort. The statuesque woman added in unnecessary rolling movements here and there.

Blast it. Must every mare in Equestria delight in teasing me? Even escaping to another world didn’t help.

Now that everyone was safe, it was time to decide what to do next. We found out from the crew that the unnatural storm had completely blocked radio transmissions and nobody was aware that the ship had gotten into trouble, let alone sunk. Waiting for the authorities to realize that the ship was overdue and send out Search & Rescue was not a particularly good option with this many mouths to feed. The only obvious alternative was to bring everyone into Equestria. Of course, that meant they would all be turned into ponies or other beings and I wasn’t sure what effect on their mental health that would cause. I was debating this with Twilight when Penny groaned and rolled her eyes.

“For buck’s sake – why don’t you just bring food and camping equipment here? Everyone can be fed and sheltered until rescue turns up. Seems like a nice place to spend a short beach vacation.”

I love my herdmate; I really do. But sometimes she makes me feel like a real dunce.

Celestia, Penny, and I returned to Equestria to organize exactly that. Twilight stayed to study the portal from that side for a while. I had a feeling she wanted to spend some time with her friends too. Just before we left the Everfree side of the portal, Sunset Shimmer leaped through. She giggled at the sight of Celestia incongruously dressed in the robe still.

“The Princess and I have some catching up to do,” Sunset said. “My friends understand.”

The white alicorn beamed. “Indeed we do, my dear former student, but please, just call me Celestia. I’m no longer your ruler nor your teacher, and I would rather be regarded as your friend.”

The yellow mare’s eyes widened. “You’re no longer a princess?”

The white alicorn smiled reassuringly. “Not a ruling one, at least. Just one of the many things we will talk about.”

“And I know the perfect place that you can do that,” I said.

I sent them both off to the spa to join our friends there. Meanwhile, Penny and I had work to do.

We Triarchs, the Element Bearers, and the Royal Sisters were gathered at a hastily summoned Security Council. The hive queens, Cadance, and Shining Armor attended via communication plates. After I gave a rundown of the recent events, Trixie asked, “What have we learned from this?”

Twilight replied, “The nature of the portal was different from any that have been created by Star Swirl’s method. I confirmed this through extensive testing. The only other beings we know of who can make freestanding interdimensional portals are Grogar and Discord.”

I said, “The magical storm definitely bore the signature of the Storm King. I could feel it as I used the Staff of Sacanas to dispel the magical tempest. How he accomplished this without the Staff, I don’t know, but I speculate that it has something to do with Grogar.”

Celestia spoke up next. “The experience my sister and I had fighting Grogar points to a multi-pronged approach to his attacks. The portal may have been a test for the Storm King, an attempt to get resources, a means of bypassing our defenses, or something we have not even considered yet.”

Luna continued for them both. “Grogar always learned from his defeats and he has grown ever more wily. We would recommend a reappraisal of all our preparations in light of these new events. For while we cannot know his thoughts, his actions betray his intentions. We believe that he is almost ready and his attack will come soon.”

The next day began like many others. My wife and I declared Day Court to be open. The first petitioner had started their rather snazzy audio-visual presentation regarding a proposed nature center on the outskirts of Hayseed Swamp. Then I was distracted as I noticed a guardspony whispering into Trixie’s ear. She nodded then stood as the soldier retreated.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie regrets to inform her subjects that a matter of some urgency has arisen. Day Court is concluded.” With a flourish of her cape, she bowed and teleported away. That’s when I knew it was serious.

Of course, every eye in the Throne Room focused on me. Dang it, Trixie. Leaving me in the lurch again.

I cleared my throat. “Day Court will resume tomorrow at the standard hour. For those in line, please give your names to the Sergeant at Arms. Day Court is adjourned.”

When I reached the staging chamber, a scene of controlled chaos greeted me as battle preparations were made. Glancing to my left, I saw griffon and pegasi soldiers milling about. Princess Oralia of the Red Hive addressed her changeling squad at the far corner of the room. My eyes landed on my wife who flexed her wings and adjusted her helmet.

Because my abilities in stallion form had progressed so far since my ascension, I chose to go into combat in my natural form. Princess Diadem entered the chamber, levitating the Staff of Sacanas. After she dropped it into my awaiting hooves, I used a trick Celestia taught me to place it into a pocket dimension. Pushing items into and pulling them out of there was within my abilities, just not the creation of the storage area. While the Solar Alicorn could generate pocket dimensions at whim, I had to rely on an enchanted gem under my peytral.

When I cinched up my enchanted saddlebags, the multi-layer shield activated, turning everything around me a shade of pink for a moment before settling on just a hint of red. With a tap of my hoof on my leg armor, the field cut out. They would need to be off when we traveled to our destination. Crispberry and Moon Dancer were still attempting to overcome that limitation of the portals.

Celestia and Luna teleported in, already wearing battle armor. Both wore full sets of plate mail over chain—Celestia’s was a burnished gold while Luna’s a dark bronze. Both were upgrades from the oriental-style armor they brought back from the dimension where they last fought. The Solar Alicorn carried four longswords in her magic while the Night Princess wielded a long-handled scythe with a blade of absolute blackness. Throwing knives of the same material rested in webbing along her flanks. They would be the only two combatants fully armored. The rest of us relied on the magic shielding provided by saddlebags, helmets that allowed instant communication, and lastly our training. Cadance and Shining trotted in, decked out in their battle gear. They stood ready to defend Canterlot or travel to a second destination if this first attack proved to be a distraction.

Twilight and the other Bearers came through a portal on our right. Each wore their necklace and jewel around their necks, excluding Twilight who wore the Element of Magic tiara.

The purple mare lifted her wings to get everypony’s attention. “Something is attacking Las Pegasus.”

Applejack said, “What ‘bout—” before she, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity were encased in a lavender glow.

Twilight continued, “I’ve placed a cloud-walking spell on all of you. You three will be kept in reserve in case we need to use the Elements together. The main attack force will be the Triarchs, Royal Sisters, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and a squad each of changeling, pegasi, and griffon flyers.”

“What are we facing?” I asked.

“Reports describe a large metal golem with immense strength. Also, it sends out explosive bombs that travel very quickly. The modest security garrison did not try to engage it, instead, concentrating on evacuating the populace and guests. That should be complete.”

Luna shook her body, doubtless checking the fit of her armor. “Can it fly?”

Twilight dipped her head as a changeling attendant fit segmented chitin onto her neck. “Unknown, but it can cloud-walk. If our target can fly, it won’t be fast because of its weight. We’ll scout it out first. Eyes One? You’re up.”

A sleek griffoness walked to the unopened portal next to Twilight. She wore a sky blue bodysuit with thin plates of the same color along the front edges of her wings. Natalya had the distinction of being as silent as a batpony and easily the fastest griffon flyer alive. This also made boasting sessions between herself and Rainbow Dash incredibly entertaining. They could go on for hours about the imagined flaws of their rival.

For now, Natalya lowered her goggles and turned to face Twilight. The purple mare did the same with her goggles and nodded. Twilight then activated the portal. “Go.”

The griffon faded from view as her invisibility charms took hold. By the time the portal activated fully, I could only assume she had already passed through.

Twilight continued to look down slightly as she called out progress. “The exit portal is behind the Golden Horseshoe casino. No sign of the golem from the portal exit. Eyes One is climbing… there it is. It’s tearing apart the Cloud Blaster Roller Coaster at the north end of town. The golem is bipedal—the height of five or six ponies.” She lifted her goggles. “We’ll stage behind the hotel, surround it then attack together using Pattern Two. Any questions?” In response, everybeing queued up behind her.

Twilight said, “Remember to activate your shields only when you have distance between yourself and your neighbor.” She dove through the portal, followed by Trixie, then me.

Bright daylight and heat assaulted my body, almost stopping me in my tracks. I blinked as my eyes adjusted, moving to the edge of the towering casino. To my side, the clouds extended another hundred feet or so before dropping off over the countryside. When I peeked around the building, I shivered. Every edifice showed some level of destruction: fires, caved in façades, upper stories separated from the lower. Half the walkways were gone. What kind of power did our opponent have to tear off the upper floors of the Steel Spike Hotel and jam it through the eye of the Mustached Stallion Casino?

Looking at the far edge of town, I saw our assailant and recognized him immediately. If the booming laughter didn’t identify him, the dual teal lightning bolt symbol on his dark gray armor certainly did: The Storm King. He was covered from head to foot in segmented metal armor. It fit his form loosely but that made sense. The shell doubtless hid and protected weapons, a power source, and some way to augment his strength. The dome-shaped helmet confused me. Had the yeti put his horns through dimensional portals so they wouldn’t be in the way?

That’s when I saw one of his gauntleted hands held a rollercoaster car in front of his face.

My pegasus vision showed an earth pony family. A stallion and mare sat in the back seat, slack-jawed with their eyes open. The front held a filly and colt, both perhaps eight years in age. They screamed in terror… no… the pair were smiling and bouncing up and down in their seats as much as their safety harnesses would allow.

I could just hear the colt from this distance. “Again! Again!”

His sister chimed in. “You’re the best!”

The yeti’s voice was distorted and amplified. “I am, aren’t I? All the way up in the sky and all the way down to the ground?”

“YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!” the two chorused.

Motion at my side made me turn my head. I waved back Celestia and Luna who had started to move out of cover. They gave me a glare that I matched.

“eeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeee!”

I looked up to see the car fly nearly overhead. As it reached the level of the cloud-floor well outside the city, four parachutes deployed and slowed its descent.

“Awwwww!”

I turned back to the Royal Sisters. “The cars have more safety measures built-in than—”

Luna’s eyes went wide. “Shield!”

I barely got mine up in time. Explosive rounds detonated around me, forcing me to retreat away from the wall that rapidly broke apart.

Following Twilight, I dove through the cloud cover to emerge beneath the city. With the rest of the flyers in view, we split up, each going to a spot roughly a half-mile in a radius around where the Storm King had been standing. Through my earpiece, I heard Natalya’s voice. “This is Eyes One. The target is moving quickly back toward the center of town. It is ignoring… whoa!”

I heard panting and the “Nnnnn!” sound made during high-G maneuvers. How could she have been detected, and now tracked?

My eyes flew open. “Natalya! Cut your transmission!”

A second later, I heard the click of her connection turning off.

Everybeing spent a couple of seconds adjusting our positions before, with a signaling flash of Twilight’s horn, we all ascended through the cloud cover. When I emerged, I saw the logic in the Storm King’s tactic. Now that he was inside the rough ring of casinos, only half of us had a clear view. The rest would have to reposition.

All who could see our target fired our weapons: alicorn horn blasts, nullstone-tipped crossbow bolts, and resin canisters. Our opponent stopped, threw his head back, and laughed as every shot bounced away or broke harmlessly. Everything stopped perhaps twenty feet away from him by a shield that glowed red and sometimes yellow at the points of impact. The bolts and freed resin sunk into the cloud layer. Squinting, I could see that there were no runes on his armor beyond the decoration of his symbol. That left me with one conclusion.

I toggled my microphone on. “The shield and armor are technology-based, not magic! Concentrate fire on one spot! Explosives and high-velocity!”

The Storm King’s helmet rotated until the reflective visor faced me directly and he raised his right arm. Just behind him, a black rent appeared in midair. On the far side of the city, I saw a similar tear. Just beyond, Luna pulled back her scythe and cocked the weapon over her shoulder, leaning forward.

Our opponent twisted his body. Without looking behind him, the armored yeti lifted his left arm to shoot something through the tear in space that exploded against Luna’s armor. I couldn’t spare another glance because something rocketed toward me at high speed, leaving a plume of smoke behind. I threw up frangible shields that barely slowed it down. After each exploded like glass, the missile pointed off-angle for a moment before righting itself and aiming directly at me. That gave me an idea.

I made the next shield at a sharp angle, guiding the projectile to ricochet wildly. I had enough time to get a bead on the missile, blasting the center with my most powerful beam spell. Just before it detonated, I heard a familiar sound in front of me. I looked down to see another missile less than a hundred feet away. A golden blur flashed by my vision, closely followed by an explosion that rattled my molars. When the flames went out, I saw gold, blue, and purple beams striking the Storm King’s shield at the same spot, which glowed green then blue at that location. I added my beam just as two of Celestia’s blades and a handful of crossbow bolts flew to the same location.

The shield glowed purple then broke, the beams now hitting their intended target. He grunted and sidestepped, shattering Celestia’s swords with two point-blank shots from the projectile weapon I now saw mounted on the top of his wrist. I tracked that spot with my horn blasts. We might have to take out his weapons one-by-one because his armor didn’t have much difficultly handling our beams of magic.

Our adversary stopped and nearly lost his balance. He looked down to see green strands connecting his legs. In his attempt to dodge, the Storm King had stumbled into a patch of changeling resin.

Just as our hornbeams centered on his chest, the Storm King pulled out a faceted metal sphere. Something about the design made my blood run cold.

I yelled into my microphone, “Cease fire! Reinforcing shields around the target!”

Spurred by my shield failing during our encounter with Sombra, Shining Armor taught all of the alicorns how to use sympathetic harmonics. Each added spellcaster doubled the overall strength of the combined shield. Five alicorns: Sixteen times the strength. Because my ‘one-shot wonder’ ability only lasted a few seconds, unless I could gauge exactly when to dump in all my stored magic, my ability to make an overpowered shield had limited usefulness and would leave me a nearly powerless sitting duck.

The Storm King’s throw resulted in the metal sphere bouncing back and landing at his feet. He stared at it, unmoving. I heard him say, “Uh oh.”

Bright light forced me to shut my eyes as a wave of force buffeted our combined shield. After a couple of seconds that felt like minutes, the pressure dissipated. Our shield had held.

When I looked back, I saw an area of the cloud floor had vanished as if a giant ice cream scoop had made off with it. Twilight flew toward the spot saying, “Alicorns, shields to stand-by!” As my co-ruler examined the outcome of our battle, I joined Trixie and Celestia to attend to Luna.

The Night Alicorn removed her helmet with her right forehoof, dropping it onto the cloud floor. “Fret…” She coughed weakly. “Fret not. Methinks ’twas merely a scratch.” When she stood up straight, everyone could see the hoof-sized dent in her armor on her left side, just behind the shoulder.

Celestia scanned Luna’s barrel with her horn. “Three ribs – compound fractures. Two with clean breaks. Most of the remainder with hairline fractures. You are done for today, sister.”

“Balderdash! I helped with the shield. I am perfectly capable of continuing the fight.”

Celestia shuffled her wings. Embarrassment and concern flowed across her face. “Luna, this is not the time to be stubborn.”

The dark alicorn snorted then closed her eyes, apparently to absorb the pain. When she opened them, her frown deepened. “Enough, sister. ’Tis not time for weakness. We know not if the battle is truly won.”

I drew closer. “Luna, you can stay.” That earned me a glare from Celestia and a smile from her sister. I raised my foreleg high on her left side. “But only if you high-hoof me for all your help today.”

Luna blinked a few times then sighed. “We suppose Cadance could taketh our place for a brief respite.” She opened her wings, managing only a tiny flap which ended with a gasp. “Dear Sister, if thou wouldst assist? The battle rage and its immunity to discomfort hath ceased.”

As Celestia took to the sky with Luna gently held in her telekinetic grasp, I heard Rainbow Dash’s voice in my helmet. “Eyes One, are you good? Speak to me, Natalya!”

After a click, Natalya’s voice came through. She did not sound pleased. “Yeah… Just a bit wet. That flying bomb thing followed me through the forest no matter what I did. Had to dive into a lake to get it to miss me and blow up on the other side.”

Rainbow barked out a laugh. “I didn’t think you could swim.”

“Highly motivated to learn. I’ll fly back up once my feathers dry off. Eyes One, out.”

Trixie and I flew over to Twilight. The rest of the Element Bearers already stood nearby, occasionally glancing at the hole in the cloud layer.

After another minute of scans, the glow of Twilight’s horn lessened. “I don’t get it,” she said.

Rarity asked, “What is it, darling?”

“There’s nothing left – no body tissue, energy signature, metal fragments, or anything. Not even water vapor from the clouds.” Twilight’s horn winked out and a faint lavender glow disappeared from the surface of the hole. As I watched, wisps of white leaked in from the edges. The cloud bank was already healing itself.

I thought back to the last few seconds of the battle. “Could the metal sphere been some sort of technology-based disintegration weapon?”

The purple mare shrugged. “I… guess so? It’s just… I can’t imagine anything magical or otherwise that so blatantly disobeys the Laws of Conservation of Energy and Mass.”

My wife said, “Your suspicions are well-founded. Trixie believes the entire affair was too easy.”

Rainbow Dash grumbled, “Tell that to Luna.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Were there other casualties besides Luna?”

Princess Oralia’s voice echoed in my helmet. “No, Your Highness. All griffons, changelings, and pegasi accounted for.”

I blinked. Forgot I was still transmitting. “Thank you, Princess. Prepare to move out.” With a jerk of my head, I turned off the microphone.

Pinkie Pie’s right ear twitched and the muscles on her back tensed in a rolling wave. “Hmm. My party sense is conflicted. I don’t know if this deserves a party or not.”

Applejack said, “Well, Twi? Is there anythin’ more ya can learn from this here hole in the clouds?”

My co-ruler scowled. “No, I suppose not. Might as well go back and arrange for cleanup and reconstruction.”

Back at Canterlot Castle, Trixie took charge of coordinating relief efforts, which made sense because she was the Triarch most familiar with the departments of government. That worked out fine because Twilight quizzed me on anything I could tell her about this technology.

“Sorry, Twilight. That suit was more advanced than anything I’ve seen or heard about. Only our speculative fiction had anything like this.”

“Perfect. What are the hypothetical weaknesses then?” She looked back at her friends and waved her hoof for them to follow.

I frowned. “Shouldn’t we discuss this at the Security Council?”

“We need to return the Elements first. This will only take a second.”

“Hmm. OK. Drop them in deep water… Exposure to extreme heat or cold.”

A few guards went through the portal ahead of us.

“Umm… Hit them with energy or a force they were never designed to resist, though the shield and even the armor did a better job against magic blasts than I think it was ever designed to face.”

“Grogar must have modified it in some way.”

I nodded. “Best of both worlds.”

A pegasus mare poked her head back through the gateway. Corporal Dusty Dreams, I think. “Clear!”

The seven of us filed through the portal and stood on the floor of the ravine in the Everfree Forest. Twilight’s magic floated the necklaces away from the Bearers, the gold bands dissolving into nothingness, leaving only the Elements. My co-ruler trotted closer to the Tree of Harmony, levitating the jewels into their places. Rainbow colors and pleasing tones accompanied each jewel as it fitted into its socket.

Twilight turned around and smiled at us. Clunking noises made her look down near her hooves. Three segmented spheres of metal rolled to a stop around the tree. I saw a brass-colored circle rested in the middle of each pentagonal facet. The purple mare looked down at the closest, perhaps a yard away from her hooves.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. I threw my shield up around Penny, the other Elements, and myself, pouring all my magic into it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the pegasi guards flying forward. I yelled, “Twilight! Get—”

The alicorn disappeared just before the first bomb went off. In the middle of the bright flash of light, I saw fragments of the tree shooting through the air. My shield held through the three explosions, but I used up all my stored energy to do it. The magic barrier winked out the same time the last of the bombs’ glow faded away. The passage of time seemed to return to normal as I looked up. I almost didn’t recognize where I was.

Three craters marred the landscape. The cave that sheltered the Tree of Harmony had partially collapsed. And the Tree? Shards of crystal covered the ground everywhere. The only exceptions were chunks a couple of feet wide that still held the Elements.

A tear in space appeared high above one – Dash’s Loyalty jewel. A familiar armored figure fell out of the rent in space and landed on the mass of crystal which popped in a spray of fragments. As the portal closed, Penny took off and I heard the other mares fan out behind me. For my part, I willed as much magic as I could out of the ground.

Our attacker ignored us, stepping off the very much intact jewel and shooting an explosive bomb from his wrist. The red lightning bolt-shaped stone bounced away from the detonation to the far wall. A missile from the metal suit’s other arm hurtled to the gem. The concussion from the much larger blast almost knocked me over; only my earth pony strength and connection to the ground held me upright. Penny had been closer to the blast. Her limp form separated from her spear and tumbled through the air. I tried to use magic to grab her, but she passed through my grip. I didn’t have enough unicorn magic at my disposal. Rainbow zipped up and caught my bodyguard before she hit the ground.

I reached to open my right saddlebag but then froze at the sound of a filtered but recognizable voice.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!”

I turned to face our adversary. The red Loyalty gem clattered to a stop on the broken ground, but our opponent no longer paid attention to it. The visor on top of the massive suit of armor now faced directly at me, along with both arms. From a spot behind me and to my right, a boulder flew into its chest plate, breaking apart with a dull crunch. Our opponent didn’t flinch or move at all, ignoring the attack like it had never happened.

After a few seconds, the arms and helmet moved to point at spots behind me and to the right. The distorted voice said, “I must say thanks for the reminder. You will recall I made you a promise regarding your friends.”

I said, “Who are you?”

The being stopped, its visor rotating toward me again.

I stepped forward. “I mean, I know who you are pretending to be, but who are you, really?”

“Ah, gallows humor! You know full well the promise—”

I interrupted. “… that was put into the intelligence report read by every Equestrian soldier. Plus, it was sent to our allies and even less than allies. Congratulations, you know how to read.”

The right arm pointed at me again, causing my hooves to stop moving but not my mouth.

“Truly one of the least convincing acts I have ever seen. During our fight less than an hour ago, you said exactly two words. Do you remember? ‘Uh’ and ‘oh’. The real Storm King is a lot more talkative and even he is wittier than that.”

The armored suit’s head leaned toward me. “You know that—”

“And that helmet! Are you trying to convince me the Storm King let someone cut off his horns? Unlike you, the yeti warlord would have killed anyone that tried. You’re a slave of some sort, aren’t you?”

A snarl. “I am a slave to no being!”

I smirked as I thought quickly. “Wait. I know who you are. You’re that changeling warrior from Saddle Arabia that was so insistent on dueling me. You’re…” I needed a name. “… Asperatrix! Only the King’s order made you back down. But the King’s command doesn’t hold any weight here, does it?”

I stepped closer, pressing my luck. Points of light on his wrist grew an even brighter blue.

“And the real Storm King is faster than you. A lot faster. And he favors his left and only eye, which you don’t. Oh, and if you are pretending to be someone, check their height first. He’s a good twenty percent taller than you, shrimp.” I started walking away.

Behind me, I heard movement followed by a click. The unmistakable voice of the Storm King called after me.

“Dead pony, you are mistaken.”

I turned back to see the helmet off, held in both hands. From the underside of the helmet, I could hear the tinny voice of somebeing yelling. The revealed yeti warlord showed me all of his fangs as he stared with two perfectly good eyes.

“I’m alllll better now. And I cut off my horns. Revenge can be expensive, don’t you know.” The helmet shifted to his left hand as his right extended outward.

Why wasn’t Twilight blasting him? It didn’t matter. Plan B.

I said, “Well, balls.”

The Storm King smiled wider as his arm pointed at me once more.

Two spheres the size of my hoof appeared inches from the yeti’s face, right before each exploded with a loud crack. Grey goo covered his left cheek and right eye, hardening immediately into a black shell.

The Storm King staggered backward, trying to replace his headgear with one hand, then two. In those couple of seconds, a dozen more balls exploded onto his head. A black crust covered his face almost completely. Each of our saddlebags carried a goo ball attached to the outside, but you couldn’t see them. The self-propelled orbs only turned visible when inches from their target.

I fumbled, reaching into my left saddlebag. A large tear in space appeared behind the armored yeti revealing the cave system I had last glimpsed in the Crystal Empire. All the rocks in the cavern were a consistent muddy brown with stalagmites and stalactites. In the far end of the cave, an old blue goat stared at me through the clear visor of his helmet.

Grogar.

The Storm King stumbled through the portal which closed immediately. A small communication plate whizzed through the air where the portal had been a moment before.

“Blast it!” Rarity came up next to me, scowling. “I was too late!”

Fluttershy landed next to Rarity. “Maybe Twilight knows…” The pegasus mare‘s face went pale as she looked somewhere behind me.

I whipped my head around. Our guards lay slumped against the walls of the ravine. About a hundred feet away, my co-ruler stood immobile, green light spilling out from her eyes. A dark-gray helmet with black eye-sockets lowered onto her face, covering up the look of frozen terror. When the eye slits turned bright green, the pony behind her stepped into view. His cape was gone, but the red horn and plate armor identified him immediately: Sombra.

I pulled a tracking nullstone band out of each saddlebag, targeting one at each pony in front of me. More followed, thrown by my friends.

Sombra put a foreleg around his captive. “Neutralize those bands.”

Twilight’s horn flashed and two saddlebags appeared. They were the pan-dimensional ones she used during our trip through multiple dimensions. In ones and twos, she caught the bands, teleporting several times with her passenger never letting go. A hoof-full of seconds later, the last tracking band disappeared into a saddlebag. Twilight returned to her original spot, dropping the bags by her sides.

“Good slave,” said Sombra. “Now, destroy the Elements.”

Twilight shifted her focus. Six beams of black magic poured from her horn followed by six beams of white.

“No!” yelled Rarity. She reached out a hoof, possibly to draw her jewel back to herself. I tried to push the dark energy out of the jewels with my earth pony magic. It had worked against Sombra’s magic in the Crystal Empire. Maybe—

One after the other, the Element jewels shook, cracks appeared all across the facets, then fell apart into colored dust.

“It cain’t be!” exclaimed Applejack.

My eyes turned back to Sombra and Twilight.

The dark unicorn stallion smiled as he stepped away from our friend. His teeth gleamed in the sun. “Kill these fools.”

Twilight’s wings opened fully. Her head swiveled until both eye slits pointed directly at me.

Oh boy.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Some reunions are definitely more desirable than others. Is Mark going to regret this one?

Reunion of the Two Suns – art by SilFoe

Human Mark with Staff – art by Foxenawolf, inserted by me into background taken from the Equestria Girls special.

And as usual, I hold out my cap for tips to help pay for more art. You can do so through Ko-Fi! (With working link this time!)

P.S. If you wanted last chapter's bonus art but couldn't use the Ko-fi link then, just do so now.

Chapter 91 - So Long! I Must Be Going!

Chapter 91 - So Long! I Must Be Going!

Twilight tilted her wings upwards then slammed them down to take flight. I prepared to pull a rock spire out of the ground to protect myself. As long as she wasn’t too close, I might be able to raise it in time to stop her first horn blast.

To my surprise, the alicorn did a tight loop, driving all four hooves into Sombra’s back and forcing him to the ground.

“ARRGH!” The dark unicorn turned his head to look up at Twilight. She slammed a forehoof into the side of his skull once, twice, three times. I started galloping forward just as the self-styled King’s crown rolled away.

Twilight placed her rear hooves on the ground then lifted the stallion’s head by his horn. His eyes were glazed over and he offered no resistance. I knew what would come next from training sessions with Crimson.

Twilight’s other forehoof moved in a blur to strike the base of Sombra’s horn. With a sickening snap, it came free.

His shriek died out as his form dissolved, armor and all. Black globules flowed up to his horn where they shrank and disappeared. In just a few seconds, his essence had gone back to its secure repository. Twilight had told everypony how the dark unicorn returned from such a state years ago when he was presumed dead.

Twilight levitated the horn in front of her face as the eye slits in her helmet turned from green to white. The horn shook, smoldered, then caught fire. The blaze intensified, black wisps of magic writhing around it. In my skull, I heard a drawn-out, anguished scream. When I came up to my co-ruler’s side, the eye slits stopped glowing and went black. Her horn glow extinguished, letting a hoofful of ash flow away in the wind.

I used my hooves to lift the helmet off her head. It was hot enough that I tossed it aside immediately. I heard the other mares clattering up all around us.

Twilight stood motionless, her eyes closed and a frown etched on her face. Her nostrils flared and she breathed in deeply.

Fluttershy broke the silence. “Twilight, umm… how do you feel?”

Through the unnatural silence, I was very worried about my friend. Twilight had never taken a life before. I could only imagine the conflict going on inside her head.

Rarity said, “Twilight, darling, speak to us.”

The lavender mare swept the mane away from the top of her head with a hoof. A network of white strands slowly appeared. With a snarl, she opened her eyes and said, “Will somepony please take these bucking wires out of my skull now?”

Yep. Twilight was cursing. She was definitely not alright.

“On approach!”

I looked up to see a squad of evolved changeling soldiers touch down a short distance away, Thorax in the lead. He galloped up to his wife and pulled Twilight into his embrace, her head against his chest. She didn’t resist, just continuing to frown and stare off into space. He murmured soft words into her ear, but I suspected his emotivore senses were doing the real work—draining out the stress and shock from Twilight.

Slowly, his wife relaxed. Her breathing became regular and her wings drooped.

A changeling came up to me. “Your Highness! Respectfully request you all return to Canterlot Castle.” I looked back at the portal that brought us here. Only a broken pole remained. Of course. They were designed to shut down immediately if an explosion happened near either side. That’s when I noticed a form slumped at the far side of the ravine. One of the other changeling soldiers knelt next to the body.

I said, “We came here with a half dozen guardsponies.”

The changeling tilted his head and his face went blank. I knew this meant he was receiving information over the hive mind connection. A couple of seconds later, he looked back at me. “Only the Element Bearers, yourself, and Lieutenant Penumbra survived, sir.”

My jaw clenched. I knew Dusty Dreams’ family. More lives to hold Grogar and now the Storm King responsible for. But that had to wait. Right now, we needed to get someplace safer. I addressed the changeling. “Twilight will need time to recover. Do you have a portal to her castle?”

“Yes, sir!”

In no time, he had placed a disk onto a new wooden pole and a portal opened to the entry room of Friendship Castle.

I heard Applejack say, “So what do ya want done with this evil thing?”

I turned to see her pointing at Sombra’s crown on the ground.

“I’ll take care of it.”

Twilight walked up with her husband pressed up to her side. My co-ruler ripped something off of her neck. She tossed a flat, smooth rectangle into the center of the ring made by the crown. I recognized it as one of Sombra’s control blocks. As I watched, it shattered and burned while the crown melted down to a ring of slag. Twilight’s horn winked out. “OK, I’m ready now.”

I waved everybody towards the portal. “Everyone through!” I ordered.

We were all in a very somber mood as we returned to Ponyville. One of our enemies had been permanently erased but at the cost of Equestria’s prime weapons in defense of the realm. In hindsight, Grogar had played us masterfully. The easy resolution to the attack on Las Pegasus had obviously been a ruse.

The very worst aspect was that Grogar must have found a way to overcome our block on his eavesdropping and tracked us to the Tree of Harmony’s cave. A unicorn guardspony always went through a portal first to put up Twilight’s anti-spying field. Yet, Grogar knew exactly where and when to drop the three bombs. Not a single one of our strategies could now be counted on in the future. It was hard to imagine how things could get worse.

Back in the Map Room, the changeling researcher Flagellum left with the remains of eight wire matrixes levitated behind her. Sombra’s death meant there no longer existed a reason to keep our brains wired up to resist his magic. From all indications, it hadn’t worked as desired anyway.

I set up a communication plate with the Canterlot Castle Great Hall so my wife and the members of our alliance could listen in. I gave everybeing a quick rundown of the loss of the Tree and its Elements. Trixie quit trying to call order to the meeting after that. She set up a one-way privacy bubble so Twilight would not be distracted.

Celestia and Luna walked in, the latter sporting a chitin patch, obviously to protect her wounded area. Luna’s giggling and her sister’s repeated efforts to steer her in the right direction caught my attention.

I walked up to the solar alicorn. “What’s up with her?”

Celestia spared one last glance at her sister before facing me. “Luna’s fractures are healed; the bandage is precautionary. I refused to let her endure the painful bone-knitting spell until she had taken sufficient medication. And… well… I told Doctor Nipper to use the same amount I would require.”

Luna’s delighted laughter rang through the chamber. She had wandered away during the ten seconds she was unsupervised and now faced the wall. “Look, Tia! When I strike my muzzle against yon crystal wall, I feel it not!” She rocked forward, impacting the wall with her nose. “Boop!” Back for another round. “Boop!” She followed that with more foalish laughter.

I couldn’t help but grin. “Is there a chance you’ve developed a bit of a tolerance for this medicine over the centuries? And you take a much larger dose now than you did, say, a thousand years ago?”

The white alicorn slumped. “As my sister would say, ‘Mayhap.’ ” She came up to Luna’s side. “Come, dear sister. Let us get you some rest.”

The lunar alicorn raised a hoof and her voice took an air of authority. “Enough. Thou knowest that strategy hath always been my strength. I shall remain.”

Alright then. She should be able to focus when needed. That made me feel better.

“Boop! Tee hee!”

But not much.

Thorax sat on Twilight’s throne with his wife on his lap. His forelegs wrapped around her barrel and his eyes never left her face. Twilight leaned back into her husband, eyes closed. The rest of the… well… former Element Bearers stood or sat around the room. They occasionally attempted to converse with their friend but the lavender mare remained unresponsive. Penny and a few changelings stood guard next to the closed doors.

Pinkie Pie came up to the side of Twilight’s throne. “Doctor Pinkie orders you to take two big swallows. Chop, chop!”

The purple mare sat up a bit straighter and blinked. “What is it?”

Pinkie vibrated a goblet in front of her friend. Drops of green liquid spilled out. “CHOP, CHOP!”

Twilight slumped in defeat. “Fine.”

Her magic field took the proffered chalice and she dutifully gulped some of it down.

“BLEAH!” The lavender mare’s wings shot out, one eye dilated more than the other, and her tongue hung out the side of her mouth. “Pinkie! What are you trying to do to me! That’s the vilest, most unsavory, nauseating concoction I’ve ever imbibed!”

Pinkie smiled and pronked to her throne. “Completely incomprehensible. Mission accomplished. Our Twilight is back!”

I had to agree. Twilight’s ears pointed forward as she glared after her friend. Her scowl and annoyed huff confirmed that the pink party mare had it right.

Fluttershy reached over to place a hoof on Twilight’s foreleg. “Umm… if you don’t mind... would you tell us what happened? Please?”

My co-ruler looked around the room. I think she was noticing us for the first time. She took a deep breath and tapped her husband’s hooves twice. Thorax let her go with one hoof but kept the other firmly in place. Twilight gave him a mock glare, then they shared a nuzzle while the rest of us waited.

Twilight sighed. “I teleported away from the bombs and set up a shield just slightly bigger than my body to better ride out the explosions.” That hadn’t been an option for me. As a consequence of my location, I was closer and protecting several others.

“When the blasts had cleared, I waited until Mark got the Storm King to take off his helmet. Just as I dropped my shield and readied my most powerful stun spell, I heard something above me. Before I could look up or raise another shield, I felt the control block attach to my neck. At the same time, Sombra focused his mind control magic on me. The Overseer’s wire matrix let me think clearly but I couldn’t move. After Sombra lowered the mask onto my head and activated it, I felt like a prisoner trapped in my own body.”

Twilight went to take a sip from the goblet, caught herself, and set it down. She levitated the glass out of my grasp. One gulp later, her whole body shook. At her look of betrayal, I said, “Eyrish whiskey – straight.”

“Hmm…” My co-ruler took a cautious sip before continuing. “Sombra’s first order was to stop the nullstone tracking bands. I had to obey, but I theorized I might have some freedom choosing exactly how. I retrieved my pan-dimensional saddlebags and tried to separate myself from Sombra by teleporting more times than I needed to. Unfortunately, he stayed with me.”

“Next, he ordered me to destroy the Elements. That could mean either the jewels or all my friends. I fervently interpreted his order as meaning the jewels.”

Rainbow asked, “But… how in Equus did you have a clue how to destroy them?”

I answered. “Because one of the many, many scenarios we prepared for involved the Elements of Harmony being corrupted or some antithesis being discovered.”

The blue pegasus tilted her head and furrowed her brow. “Anti-what? Oh, I get it. So like… the Elements of Disharmony?”

I nodded. “With all the crazy worlds Twilight and I encountered in our chase to stop Starlight, I’m almost surprised we didn’t run across them. Anyway, the strategy chosen by that brainstorming session was to set up a resonance between dark magic and unicorn magic inside the gems. They would then tear themselves apart.”

Twilight took a deep breath. “Then Sombra said ‘Kill these fools’.” Silence fell over the room.

Our friend shrugged her shoulders and one corner of her lip twitched. “Well, I only saw one fool in attendance. And he had given me a direct order.”

I sat down on my rump, shaking. Penumbra gave me a meaningful look and a frown. I had admitted to Penny and my wife that I played the fool at times to get my two co-rulers to see eye-to-eye. I was very, very grateful that I had never admitted the same to Twilight.

The Element of Magic noticed my discomfort and tilted her head. “You OK there, Mark?”

I levitated the glass away from Twilight and slammed down the rest of the contents. My body took a while to stop shivering – not all of it due to the alcohol.

I said, “I’ll tell you later.”

As my heart quit racing, something stuck out as odd. It took a bit for me to put a hoof on it. “Didn’t you tell me eyes couldn’t be regenerated?”

The purple mare shook her head. “No longer. If the optic nerve is intact, there is a fifty percent chance at full optical restoration and up to 90 percent for partial. Our trials are continuing. Grogar may have a superior method or just decided to take the risk.”

Thorax said, “Excuse me, Celestia? You fought Grogar for months – does this attack sound familiar? Was this consistent with Grogar’s tactics?”

Luna cut off her sister just as the solar alicorn was about to speak. “Nay. Simultaneous attacks we have endured. Long days of tarry betwixt incursions and counter-tactics applied with great precision, aye. But layered attacks with stringent timing and contingency plans? This we have not encountered heretofore.”

The pieces fell into place. I said, “Cozy Glow.” Every eye turned toward me. “Her cutie mark is in strategy. Now she has a whole new arsenal of weapons and capabilities to work with. Grogar let her call the shots for this engagement. This was her trial-by-fire exam which she passed. Even with the loss of the pawn, Sombra, her plan knocked out our most powerful piece.”

Just as I began to feel the whiskey mellow me out a bit, I heard noise come from the communication plate – a constant babble of multiple agitated voices speaking at once. Where had Trixie gone? Did she get called away?

There was a commotion outside and, looking around, I saw a Royal Messenger talking urgently with the changeling guards. After confirming her identity, they let the mare pass. Once inside, her eyes locked on me.

“Prince Mark!” The messenger’s gaze switched briefly to Twilight, acknowledging her. “Your Highnesses! Princess Trixie requests that you return to Canterlot as soon as possible. Queen Chrysalis has escaped.”

The palace was in an uproar. In the throne room, Trixie was busy directing Royal Guards and EUP soldiers. Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts stood by her side, briefing batpony and griffon soldiers while pointing at a map.

Twilight hurried over to Trixie with Celestia and me following closely. Luna… not so much. My co-ruler asked, “What’s happening?”

My wife gave us a grim look. “Trixie has been organizing search parties since she learned of Chrysalis’ escape.”

Celestia frowned. “How was this possible? Her security was extra tight.”

“Unknown as yet. The guards were all found unconscious with terrible injuries. I have left instructions with the doctors to notify me when any of them regain consciousness.”

No pony had anything else to say.

Eventually, the Solar Alicorn frowned and sighed. “The loss of the Elements is incalculable and Equestria’s position more perilous for it.”

My wife grimaced. “Trixie thinks we have been too reliant on them. They became too big of a target and we were easily manipulated into bringing them.”

From the expressions of several ponies in the room, you would have thought Trixie had blasphemed but I was beginning to agree with her. Returning the gems had almost cost the Element Bearers and me our lives.

Before anyone could comment, a commotion at the throne room doors drew our attention. A gurney was being wheeled in with a pegasus mare on it. Despite the lack of armor, I recognized the Royal Guard as one I had personally chosen to watch over our changeling prisoner.

My spouse said, “What is this? Trixie asked you to notify her, not bring them here.”

The attendant bowed. “My apologies, Princess, but she was most insistent on giving her report before allowing us to continue treating her.”

I said, “It’s okay – I’m more surprised that she didn’t march here while dragging you along.” I moved over to the gurney. “East Wind, can you tell us what happened? You were stationed directly outside of Chrysalis’ cell, weren’t you?”

The pegasus mare was obviously in pain and she took a couple of deep breaths to steady herself. “Yes, Your Highness. None of the remote alarm gems had lit, so we had no forewarning …”

“… And then he stepped on the ball!”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

A deep thrum reverberated down the corridor, followed by a blast of wind. A high-pitched scream rang out as the hallway and room lighting failed. The only illumination now came from the yellow glow of our armor’s enchantments and blue shine from the artifact behind us.

Grinding Stone, Pocket Watch, and Bright Beam shared a look with me, then we fell into our ready positions: Grinding bracing the nullstone infused permaglass shield, Bright holding a spell with his horn just below the shield’s notch, and me pointing a crossbow loaded with a bundle of ten electrodarts. A second crossbow with a vial of chaos gas was on my hip. Ten feet behind us, Pocket Watch had her hoof on the trigger switch next to the time displacement artifact.

I faced forward again, drawn by the sound of hooves striking the stone. Quadruped. In no hurry.

When I judged the intruder to be in the middle of the long hallway, I reared and fired. There was no cover for it to use and no time for it to dodge forward or backward. I ducked down behind the shield just before the darts returned in our direction. A few clanged off the shield and I heard Pocket hiss in pain. I didn’t spare her a glance because our armor dissipates the electricity. Besides, I saw my target now. A yellow gem glowed down the corridor. A dark rune appeared to be inscribed on it. More importantly, I could see the dim outline of the intruder’s head.

“Gotcha,” I whispered as I rose and fired the second crossbow in one motion. The gem pulsed again while I smiled, pressing closer to my guardsponies to watch the show. We only had a few predestination crossbow bolts in our inventory because of how hideously expensive they are. Not even dimensional rifts can prevent them from reaching their target, assuming the aim was true. Mine was.

I heard glass breaking followed by a deep roar of pain. Bright aligned her horn with the slot and sent a pulsating blast of white magic down the hallway, striking and illuminating the intruder. It was an elderly male goat, but much larger than any I had seen. He had a blue coat with dark blue horns. The ram wore a red collar low on his chest embedded with yellow stones. Just when I thought we were overwhelming him, the intruder glared at us.

“Enough!”

The floor erupted, throwing all of us into the ceiling then back to the floor, back and forth until my head spun. I crashed into the ground, my front legs bent at unnatural angles and the agony in my right wing telling me that it had suffered the same fate. Past an unconscious Bright Beam, Grinding charged forward, still holding the shield. The same yellow jewel glowed and the earth pony went sailing through the air. He got the shield in front of him just before impacting the fields at the cell entrance. Sparks of magic flew everywhere as he tumbled through, only to be yanked back and into the wall across from the entrance. Grinding slumped to the ground, finally releasing the shield.

I twisted my head to look back at Pocket Watch. The pegasus was slumped down next to her station, her hind legs obviously broken. She had thrown the switch but I hadn’t felt the brief feeling of displacement and nausea that Ebon Blade had described. What had gone wrong?

I looked back to see the elderly ram approaching at the same unhurried pace, calm and confident. I could now make out that his mane and tail were white or possibly silver.

“Most interesting”, he said. The goat stepped past me to the temporal artifact. When he flipped the switch up, the yellow jewel closest to me stopped glowing. A smile crept across his lips as he caught my eye. “You all have taught me a few novel things today. For that, I will let you live.” His smile fell. “But I didn’t come here for you.”

From the cell next to me, I heard, “Oh, it’s this again.”

The goat stood tall. “Come out, Chrysalis, Queen of Changelings! Your long-awaited time of vengeance is at hoof!”

I heard snickering come from the cell. “Not very observant are you? Or has old age robbed you of your sight?”

He blinked. “What?”

Chrysalis’ voice dripped with sarcasm. “Chains?”

“Oh, right. My apologies.” A jewel glowed again and I heard a tinkling sound. This time, I had the chance to count. There were four rune-inscribed jewels on his collar with a gold buckle in the middle from which hung an empty ring.

The changeling queen strode into the hallway and looked at the intruder with a jaundiced eye. “Let’s get this over with. Who are you and what do you want?”

“I am Grogar the Magnificent. Ponies have ruled this realm for too long. Together, we will make a force that they cannot stand against!”

She sighed. “Look, Grover—”

The ram narrowed his eyes. “It’s … Grogar.”

“Yes, that. I’ve heard this sales pitch before. The one who made it was more formidable than little ancient you. He ended up scattered into wisps of smoke. Completely obliterated from existence.”

“I know. I’ve been studying this dimension for years. I am aware of all our enemy’s tactics and how to counter them.”

“That’s just great, Grover.”

“Grogar.”

“Ah, is it? Anyway, you don’t impress me. May I go now?”

He stammered. “But… this is your chance at revenge! I am gathering all the finest villains in the land to my side. I will teach you how to fight as a team, multiplying your strengths and covering your weaknesses.”

Chrysalis smacked her lips and let out an unimpressed, “Hmmm.” She turned and walked toward her doorway.

Grogar continued. “I have already been to Tartarus and freed Tirek, Cozy Glow, and the Storm King.” The changeling queen stopped in her tracks. “Your skills and intellect must join us. You give me—”

She turned with a beaming smile. “Say no more… Grogar… you’ve convinced me.”

“I have?”

“Indeed. There is no better reason to undertake a task than revenge, is there?” She stopped smiling. “But I will need sufficient love reserves to be useful. I’m at hardly a tenth of my power.”

Grogar waved a hoof at me. “Will these suffice? I promised I would not kill them but said nothing about what you would do.”

The changeling queen snorted and didn’t bother to look down. “If you had been watching Equestria as you claimed, you would know that I drained Shining Armor for three weeks to reach my full potential. No. A love vat from a changeling hive will do.”

Grogar said, “Very well. Let us walk up to the next level—”

She tilted her head and smiled condescendingly. “What? You can’t teleport through their wards?”

He huffed. “Yes, it can be done from inside, but it’s so bothersome!”

Chrysalis kept up her smile and blinked sweetly. “Impress me.”

He grumbled. “Very well.” Grogar touched the gems on his collar in what looked like a random order. After a minute, he then grabbed Chrysalis’ barrel and they disappeared.

I sat back on my haunches. I heard whistling before realizing it was me.

Trixie said, “Thank you, Sergeant. The Triarchy will spare no expense to ensure you and your teammates are returned to full health. Trixie is also granting you two weeks’ leave.”

The pegasus inclined her head. “Thank you, Your Highness, but I believe I speak for all of us when I say we’d like to get back to duty as soon as possible.”

Twilight smiled. “Your dedication is a credit to all in the Royal Guard. If that is your wish, then it will be so.”

“Thank you, Your Highnesses.”

After the pegasus had been carried back out, the doors to the throne room closed with a boom. The loud noise made Luna squawk, followed by peals of laughter from the alicorn.

Twilight sighed, her eyes downcast. “I don’t understand it. Chrysalis was making real progress, I am certain of it. Also, she once refused to join the Pony of Shadows despite him offering to free her from the dungeon. Why would she agree to go with Grogar this time? What could he offer that the other villain couldn’t?”

My wife turned to me. “Dowser?”

I looked at my co-rulers. “Twilight, I don’t know if you’re aware, but Chrysalis pleaded with me until I gave her a moment-by-moment run-down of my fight with the Storm King.”

Trixie said, “And she gave training sessions to the Royal Guard on how to best fight, disable, and kill changeling princesses and queens, much to the displeasure of Carpacia and Apicula. In return, she learned every strategy taught to my husband and all Equestrian troops on how to fight yetis.”

Twilight blanched. “I… oh.”

I nodded. “I think this will be a very short honeymoon.”

Spitfire frowned. “Wouldn’t that get her killed too?”

I replied, “She’s too smart for that. She has a ton of patience and she’ll wait until the right moment to make her move.”

Spitfire said, “That means we have another enemy to deal with who will play along with Grogar’s wishes until then.”

As much as I wanted to disagree with the Wonderbolt, I had to concur with her. Chrysalis was the most pragmatic being that I knew. I said, “Chrysalis has always lived by her own code. If she feels it is in her and her new hive’s best interest to enslave all the ponies of Equestria, she’ll do everything in her power to make that a reality.”

An earth pony palace messenger came up to us. “Your Highnesses! Queen Polistae wishes to speak with you urgently!”

All of us shared a look, except for Luna who looked straight up while humming a tune. A drinking song if I wasn’t mistaken.

I said, “Please ask Queen Polistae what the Triarchy can do to restore her love reserves.”

Luna piped up. “If perchance her hive be sorely pressed, inform Polistae to collect from her fellow hive queens. By decree of the treaties all queens put to pen, they shalt be fain to assist.” The night alicorn started flapping her wings in time to her humming.

All of us looked at Celestia who blinked then shrugged her shoulders.

“So, what do we do now?” Trixie asked.

“First – we have to secure our discussions once more,” Twilight replied.

“Correct,” Celestia said. “And then we have to answer the burning question.”

“Which is…?” Trixie prompted.

“Simple,” I said. “With power players like Tirek, Cozy Glow, and the Storm King on his side, why does Grogar need Chrysalis too?”

Spitfire replied, “Because she can accomplish something that none of the others can.”

The Wonderbolt Captain was no dummy. “Exactly,” I replied. “Now we have to figure out what.”

Unfortunately, the answer to that was not obvious. While the Elements had been an overt target, Equestria was not short on other means of defense and secrets. Even the act of ordering an increase in security could betray their existence or deployment. Nevertheless, we couldn’t just sit on our plots and not do anything. Every possible resource that we thought could be of value was called in. The Pillars of Equestria had been among the earliest to respond with the sole exception of Star Swirl. The mage had last been known to be engaged in his search for the Royal Sisters and, presumably, was unaware that they had returned a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, the stubborn old stallion had refused help and was very bad at keeping in touch, so we had no idea where he was.

One plus was regaining the services of Celestia’s agents. Over the many years of her reign, the alicorn had built a secret network throughout Equestria and many other nations. These consisted of beings of many races who were beholden to her in various ways and were utterly loyal. Unfortunately, that loyalty had not extended to Equestria’s new rulers when the Royal Sisters disappeared, but as the news of their return spread, so did the agents reestablish contact. Celestia kept us abreast of these developments but we left her in charge of them. There was no way of transferring their allegiance to the Triarchy and the Solar Alicorn knew how best to handle them anyway. Hopefully, they would be a useful tool in our conflict with Grogar.

Three days after the Elements were destroyed, Star Swirl finally turned up. The event was hard to miss as the curmudgeon was berating the Royal Guards who were stationed at the door to the council chamber where we were meeting. While the room had been fortified further against every imaginable form of spying or intrusion, it was unable to stop the wizard’s bellowing voice from penetrating. At my signal, Penny opened the door to show Star Swirl glaring at the Guards who had been adamantly denying him entrance.

I trotted over to the door. “Where have you been, Star Swirl?”

He ignored my question. “Prince Mark! Tell these fools to let me pass. I have no time for their silly passwords!”

I sighed. Of course, he didn’t know about the passwords because he had been absent when they had been made mandatory. “Star Swirl, we’re in the midst of a crisis and your sense of entitlement is not helping. The security is there for a good reason. Tell me, why have you come here now?”

He glowered at me for a long moment, reminding me how little he respected my authority despite having his muzzle rubbed in it a couple of times. Eventually, he replied, “I have been spending every waking moment searching dimensional realms for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, as you well know. Recently, my tracking spells have pointed back to Canterlot, so I came here as soon as possible. Now they’re telling me that my former students are in that room.” He tried to peer around me and apparently caught sight of them. Looking behind me, I saw that both had come over to the doorway to greet their former teacher. Turning back to the old mage, his expression had turned smug. “There, you see, youngling? I told you that I would find them.”

I rolled my eyes. “Your powers continue to astound me, Star Swirl.” It was no use – sarcasm was wasted on him.

By this time, the Royal Sisters had joyfully embraced the mage. While I took pleasure in the way his face was turning red, I realized that his presence was going to be disruptive for a while and there was no point in continuing the meeting. We had been bashing our heads against a brick wall anyway. Mostly, it was a waiting game to see what happened first – one of our agents discovering our enemies’ whereabouts or them launching another attack.

We said our goodbyes to the Hive Queens who had been attending again via communication plates. Trixie invited everyone else to join us for afternoon tea and we all moved in the general direction of the drawing room to relax and enjoy it while Celestia and Luna reminisced with Star Swirl. The other Element Bearers had left for Ponyville the day before and would return in a few days. Their everyday lives continued despite the national emergency. The Triarchs determined the threat to their persons had been reduced dramatically with the loss of the jewels. Now each only required a team of six guard ponies at any given time.

The new members of the Security Council chose to stay with us for the time being. Princess Skystar jabbered incessantly to Princess Gilda. The griffoness looked amused, though I didn’t know whether her enjoyment stemmed from the hippogriff’s bubbly personality or what her fellow regent was saying. Councilor Anticline of the Diamond Dog Primal Clan preferred observation over participation. I hadn’t heard him say a single word since he arrived yesterday. Instead, the elderly diamond dog preferred to communicate with grunts and meaningful stares. Overall, he had the demeanor of someone who was required to be somewhere rather than choosing through his free will.

It did not take long for the topic of Grogar to come up when Star Swirl inquired about all the security. The old stallion looked startled.

“Grogar? As in the owner of the Bewitching Bell?”

“You know about the bell?” Celestia asked.

“How it was stolen by Gusty the Great and a host of other powerful unicorns well before your time? How it is activated by rotating a four-dimensional construct in your head? How it is indestructible by anything in this dimension? That is just the beginning of my knowledge of the artifact.”

I said, “Then perhaps you can show us how to turn it against its former owner.”

He tapped the floor with a hoof. His frown and glare showed me his impatience. “Go fetch it and I will instruct Twilight in its use.”

“I’m not your errand colt,” I replied with a frown.

Meanwhile, Twilight did a little dance in place. “Oh! That would be wonderful!”

I sighed and turned to Penny. “Go find you-know-who and ask them to retrieve Grogar’s bell.”

Penny nodded, understanding the discretion I needed, and she hastened away.

In the meantime, we settled in for our refreshments and conversation in a small conference room. Star Swirl casually asked if Luna and Celestia had been keeping up with their assigned amounts of magic practice. The sisters’ demeanor changed to look like chastened schoolfillies. They folded back ears, fluttered their wings, and couldn’t meet their former teacher’s eye.

I don’t know where Starlight concealed the Bewitching Bell, but it did not take too long for her to return in Penny’s company. She set it down on the coffee table and gave me a worried look.

“Are you sure about this, Mark? I don’t like the idea of it being exposed while Grogar is always trying to spy on us and the Triarchy in particular.”

“Nothing is a sure thing, Starlight, but Star Swirl seems to think that we can use it against the old goat and we need every advantage we can get right now.”

“Ooooooo!” The artifact captured the interest of Skystar. Sorry, Princess. This is one bauble that would not be going into your collection. For her part, Gilda gave the bell a brief look then went back to talking quietly with Trixie.

“The metal is not from Equus.” Everyone turned to stare at Councilor Anticline. He studied the talisman with narrowed eyes. “The pattern on the surface came from varying the size and orientation of the metal grains during the forging process. Most interesting.” So he could speak Equish.

The old mage approached the bell. “Have a little confidence, Prince Wells! With this, you can be certain that the odds will turn in our favor.” Despite his words, my anxiety spiked when his horn glowed and his white magic field grabbed the artifact. I was about to say something when he passed the bell to my co-regent. “First, I shall have Miss Twilight give you a demonstration of its use. Then, I will run through the procedure slowly in the hope that you can comprehend—”

I cut him off. “A number of us have already seen how it works – in battle. Nopony will be draining anyone's magic, period.”

He gave me that condescending smile. “Ah, but do you know how to determine how much and what types of magic are currently stored in the bell?”

I ground my teeth. “No.”

“I see.” The old wizard turned his back to me. “Twilight. Hold the bell straight up and down in your magic… Yes, just like that… Now, I presume you are familiar with four-dimensional shapes. Picture a three-dimensional shadow of a tesseract in your head. Now rotate it so that the inner cube rotates out of the top of the construct, flowing down the outsides.”

“Got it,” said Twilight, closing her eyes.

All of us waited while nothing happened.

Star Swirl stroked his beard. “This is most odd. Try the other five rotational modes.”

Several seconds later, Twilight reached the obvious conclusion. “Nothing.”

“Hmm…” At Star Swirl’s wave of a hoof, Twilight levitated the bell in front of the old stallion, allowing his magic to take over.

Suddenly, I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong but I couldn’t lay my hoof on it. I said, “Keep the bell on the coffee table, please. We don’t want any accidents.”

Star Swirl didn’t acknowledge my words but did set the artifact back on the table. He grandly said, “Obviously, Twilight didn’t… something did not function correctly.” From my co-ruler’s glare, the less-than-graceful save didn’t work.

"Now I shall demonstrate. Observe."

His horn glowed for a few seconds then cut out. The bell vibrated and fell over, inert.

‘Incompetent old fart,” I thought, distracted from whatever was bugging me.

The bell started glowing and a beam lashed out to strike Celestia. She staggered and her mane lost its ethereal look and turned pink.

“Everypony stay calm!” ordered Star Swirl with a frown. “I will fix this immediately!”

His horn lit up again but just then, a commotion erupted outside the room.

“I’ve no patience for your blasted security protocols!” came a very familiar voice.

A second beam shot from the artifact and struck Luna. By the time the night alicorn’s magic had been sucked into the Bewitching Bell, I was on my hooves and Penny was charging from the doorway. Penumbra’s body bounced off a shield that surrounded Star Swirl and my beam spell scattered across the surface. The barrier glowed orange then yellow where we had struck.

My nagging doubt exploded into realization – Star Swirl’s magic holding the bell wasn’t white any longer, it was green!

The wizard smirked and stepped back from us. “Perhaps another time.” He turned and jumped.

A tear seemed to open in midair, widening out into a portal that the fake Star Swirl passed through. I had a clear view through the gateway and saw a well-lit cavern beyond it. To my horror, I could also see a large blue goat grinning at us. To the right, the armored gauntlet of the Storm King reached down, apparently to bump the hoof of their returning infiltrator. To the left, Cozy Glow hovered a yard into the cavern, her forelegs outstretched. In my mind, I imagined she was gesturing for the Royal Sisters’ stolen magic. She said, “Poor Mark. You—”

I concentrated my magic into a single shot, pouring through a third of my magic reserves in just a second. Cozy’s smile turned to shock as my tight beam tore through the barrier, forcing it through the colors of the rainbow in a second. The wildly diving pegasus mare barely avoided my blast which lanced through the space her head just vacated. The gateway disappeared and I stopped my beam, leaving me looking at a melted hole in the marble wall.

The doors slammed open as the guardsponies in the hallway scanned the chamber for the source of the commotion on the inside. A moment later, the real Star Swirl teleported past the Royal Guards that had so inconvenienced him. The irritated look on his face rapidly turned to pleasure upon spotting Celestia and Luna.

“My former students!! There you are! Do you see, Mark Wells? I told you I would find them!”

I face-hoofed. We were so bucked.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

You done bucked up bad. Now what are you going to do?

Chapter 92 - Anyone For Tea?

“I am somewhat disappointed in the lack of enthusiasm at our long-awaited reunion,” Star Swirl commented. I couldn’t quite tell that he was pouting because of his thick beard, but he sure sounded like it.

“Forgive us,” Celestia said as she moved to embrace the old mage. “However, for my sister and me, this is the second occasion that we have met you for the first time in centuries.”

“You speak in riddles, my dear. What are you talking about?”

Starlight Glimmer didn’t wait for the alicorn to answer. She glared at me and said, “It means that somepony screwed up and let himself be duped. I told you this was a bad idea!”

I groaned, shut my eyes, and shook my head. “I admit it – I let you all down. I knew something felt wrong and yet I rationalized my gut feelings away. I fooled myself into thinking it was just how much Star Swirl irritates me.” I started bashing my head against the coffee table repeatedly. “Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

Luna came over and stopped me. “Fret not, Mark Wells. We all doth make simpletons of ourselves upon occasion. Being a ruler does not make you infallible.”

Celestia gave me her most reassuring smile. “Trust me, Prince Wells – my sister and I made our share of blunders in the early days of our rule. You have had but a few years of experience and have done extraordinarily well, but mistakes are inevitable. Even after a millennium, we still make them. Learn from your missteps and move on.”

“I can’t afford to make these kinds of mistakes though. Look what’s happened to you because of them! I’m the one who was pushing hardest for security, but I got totally suckered by Chrysalis.”

Celestia said, “We were no less guilty in being too ready to believe that he was our former mentor, even after chatting with him for several minutes. The imposter’s performance was flawless.”

I threw up my forehooves. “I know! He was the same exasperating, nerve-grating, condescending, opinionated—”

“HARRUMPH!” The object of my characterization frowned at me. “Would you care to tell me just what is going on? When we talked yesterday, there was no news about the missing princesses having returned and yet—”

“What?!” I interrupted him. “We didn’t talk yesterday.”

Star Swirl gave me a flat look. “Of course we did. In truth, I could hardly get you to leave and let me get on with my efforts to find Celestia and Luna.”

Trixie said, “Perhaps if you had looked under your nose, you might have found them.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, it sounds as if Star Swirl’s tracking spell was being blocked. It explains how Chrysalis’ impersonation was so good though. She met Star Swirl disguised as Mark, with whom she is extremely familiar, and interacted with Star Swirl who responded exactly as he would normally with Mark. She got the mannerisms and form down pat so she could pull off this ploy.”

“And Cozy Glow undoubtedly coached her with relevant details,” Thorax said. When everyone looked at him, he added, “Queen Chrysalis always used to say that you could never have too much information when impersonating a pony.”

Cadance frowned. “That reminds me – Princess Diadem, why couldn’t you detect that he was a fraud?”

Diadem lowered her clipboard and replied, “Changeling queens can project false emotions and, while we all can do it, Chrysalis is admittedly a master of the technique.” She grimaced ruefully. “I was as deceived as any other being present.”

My wife nodded thoughtfully. “The Great and Talented Trixie is most impressed. Queen Chrysalis is quite the performer. She should have chosen the stage as a career.”

“Indeed,” Celestia concurred. “And she knows both me and Luna from the days while she deceived everyone when she impersonated Cadance. Only Twilight managed to see through her act then because Chrysalis was unfamiliar with her.”

The purple alicorn blushed. “It didn’t stop me from being blinded by my hero-worshipping this time.”

Starlight grimaced. “I suppose I’m not blameless either. I should have refused Mark’s request. I had reasonable grounds.”

Star Swirl frowned. “I gather that there was an imposter of me here. What was his objective?”

“It was Queen Chrysalis,” I replied. “She stole Grogar’s Bewitching Bell and used it to take Celestia and Luna’s alicorn power. She might have gotten more if you hadn’t turned up and made it obvious she was a fake.”

Star Swirl turned to look at the Royal Sisters. “I had not noticed but now that you have mentioned it, I cannot sense their magic. And your mane has not been its original pink in years, my dear.”

“Centuries, actually, not counting a certain doppelganger,” she replied while giving me a small smile. “But that is the least of our concerns. Grogar has again inflicted a great loss upon us and we have yet to make any progress in return.”

Luna scowled. “The balance of power keeps shifting in his favor. No doubt, our magic will be used by Grogar’s minions against us. We are in the strange position of fighting ourselves, in a manner of speaking. But that doth also means we know our own powers best and how to counter them while the thieves are unfamiliar with their nuances.”

Trixie groaned theatrically. “Even if we know every weakness, we can’t plan on taking advantage of them without the near inevitability of said plan being overheard!” She waved a hoof in the direction of the melted stone wall. “All our precautions were operating in force, but they were ludicrously inadequate.”

Silence descended upon us as the truth of her words sunk in. Every effort on our part so far to keep secrets from Grogar had proven fruitless. How could you fight an enemy who knew every one of your battle plans?

Councilor Anticline pushed his way past me and flared his nostrils next to Star Swirl. “You! Old pony! I take it you are the knowledgeable one here? You studied that bell you are all so worked up about?”

The mage stared down his nose at the diamond dog. “I am. And yes, I led a team of the finest minds in Equestria to divine—”

Anticline waved a paw dismissively. “Enough. I want to discuss the pattern of cracks in the metal, obviously put there to allow for expansion. The artifact increased in size a bit more than three percent after absorbing the magic of two alicorns.”

Star Swirl’s eyebrows shot upwards.

The diamond dog squinted. “You didn’t notice? Now or when your ‘finest minds’ examined it?”

The stallion’s hat drooped a bit. “Ahhh…. No.”

“Well, regardless of your past and present failings, do you believe the bell will simply stop consuming energy when it runs out of space to expand, or would it explode?”

I winced at the mental image of indestructible metal shards propelled by enough magic to power multiple alicorns.

Star Swirl shuffled his hooves. “I… umm… I don’t know.”

Trixie whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. “Are we sure this is the real Star Swirl? I don’t recall him admitting ignorance about anything, ancient or modern, even when the facts stared him in the face.”

The old wizard glared at the two of us. Behind him, Luna lifted a hoof to cover her smirk.

I heard the sound of a hinge in desperate need of oil, and it came from the ceiling. We all looked up to see a trapdoor that definitely had not been there earlier. It slowly opened in jerks as the rusty hinges reluctantly performed their function. Abruptly, they gave way and the twin trapdoor panels flew to the sides, allowing sundry objects to fall into the middle of the room. First, a throw rug followed by a coffee table fell to the floor. Next came a two-seater couch, hat rack, umbrella stand, goldfish bowl, pet shark, vase with poison ivy, a tea set, then finally, one draconequus.

Discord extricated himself from the pile, muttering, “Note to self: Next time I clean up before receiving guests, don’t throw everything in the broom closet.” Right on cue, a dustpan and a couple of brooms fell out of the space overhead and bounced off his horns.

The event distracted me from my growing funk. “Nice of you to pay a visit, Discord. We would have appreciated it if you’d been here earlier though.”

The Lord of Chaos snapped his talons and all his furniture flew back up through the trapdoor which snapped shut with a clang. “I know! I had forgotten all about this party. But I’m here now. Where are the refreshments? I could swear that Fluttershy made oodles of those delightful cucumber sandwiches just this morning!”

“Um, not quite what I meant,” I said.

“Oh, right,” Discord said, looking contrite. “You keep inviting me to all these parties and I never return the favor. It’s been ages since any of you have been over for tea!”

I wondered what the heck he was going on about, but it was nice that he was making the effort. Still, this wasn’t the time for such things. “It’s alright, Discord.”

Suddenly, he was right in my face, staring intently at me. “At my own private house in my own cozy pocket universe. I’m sure you’ll love it!”

Beat me over the head often enough and, eventually, the message gets through. I didn’t have to make it obvious to potential eavesdroppers though. “You know – you’re right. Invitation accepted, my friend. Diadem – mark it on my calendar. How about… three weeks from next Saturday?”

“Oh, but I insist that you come over right now. I even redecorated! Hardly anything will drive you insane now.”

My wife smirked, “Trixie knows you mean well, but this is not a good time.”

“Oh, Pshaw!” Discord said with a dismissive wave of his lion paw. “It’s no trouble at all. In fact, let me get us started right now.” He snapped his dragon talons and the trapdoor opened once more. This time, a whirlwind emerged and started sucking people into it.

The room quickly emptied and, as it headed for me, I summoned up my outrage and yelled, “DISCORD!”

Then I was vacuumed up into the unknown.

A moment later, all of us were standing in the middle of a bizarrely decorated home, wavering dizzily on our hooves, claws, paws, or whatever. The two brooms from earlier put on a show, parrying and riposting their way across the ceiling. Underneath us, the constellations of outer space slowly rotated past. The planet Equus, barely the size of a marble, descended from a wall of multi-colored ivy. Glancing up a bit, I saw Pinkie Pie munching on one of the leaves, a critical look on her face.

Wait. Pinkie Pie? When did she get here?

Glancing behind her, I saw Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash in a tangled heap. Behind them were the five changeling queens, similarly trying to unhook themselves. Diadem rushed over to help her sister extract her horn from one of the voids in Sanguine Dreams’ legs.

“Yes, Mark?” the draconequus asked innocently.

I gave him a wink. “Nice one, buddy. Think that fooled them?”

The chimera shrugged. “Even if it didn’t, you can still make your plans in secret and I get to fulfill an obligation. Cucumber sandwiches anyone? I’m fairly sure I got the recipe right this time.”

Fluttershy walked slowly out of a side door, two plates of the snacks balanced on her back, and another on each outstretched wing. “Discord has been experimenting! One of these has sandwiches also made with iridescent bumble flies.” She frowned, craning her head around. “I honestly can’t remember which one, though.”

“Really?” asked Sanguine Dreams as she levitated one of the plates off of Fluttershy’s back. “I love bumble flies.”

My stomach tried to do a somersault. I was definitely not hungry any longer.

Apicula ignored the offer of food and asked, “Are you able to spy on Grogar as he has been doing on us?”

Discord frowned. “As much as it pains me to admit it, I am not omnipotent. I haven’t been able to counter his icons.”

“What icons?” Twilight asked.

“His enchanted equipment,” Discord replied. “He’s what I call a mechanic. By himself, Grogar is only an above-average magic-user. A skilled unicorn could beat him every time, or possibly even Mark. However, that isn’t the source of his greatest power; that resides in his equipment. The enchantments on the jewels in his collar can efficiently and powerfully enact many enchantments, one of which blocks scrying spells. The Bewitching Bell was Grogar’s greatest creation and is even more powerful, but some of the materials required to make it were exceedingly rare, so only one was ever made. Those are but some of his devices.”

Queen Trochanter said, “So why don’t you just snap your claws and turn all these powerful whatnots into toothpaste or something?” She opened another sandwich, apparently looking for one with the beetles inside. Knowing how Discord worked, I didn’t like her chances.

I said, “Discord is by his nature a being of Chaos. Any action he takes to directly counter Grogar would drastically swing the balance of this dimension towards Order.”

Discord’s eyes grew huge and he made a choking sound. “Too far out of whack and I can’t control the consequences. Chaos itself could restore the balance by, say, replacing all the water in your world with acid. Let’s all agree just not to go there.”

His smile returned. “Anyway, back to Grogar. His talent for making powerful icons is only exceeded by his ambition to conquer every world. However, even he can’t see into other dimensions like this, so your privacy is assured.”

I pricked up my ears. “So, Grogar would not be able to spy on us if we were in, say, the anthro world?”

“Not unless he has some agent there with more conventional means of doing so. His most powerful spells are in his collar and bell, so they remain with him at all times.”

I nodded and smiled grimly. “Then getting help from our interdimensional friends must be on top of our to-do list, even if it’s just a place to set up a think tank.”

Discord said, “Let’s do this right!” He snapped his fingers and the room changed. Everyone now stood in a dark chamber with large maps of Equestria placed high on one wall. The slanted ceiling started at the floor behind us and rose fifty feet in the air where it met the map wall. The remaining two walls were made of the same dark gray concrete as the ceiling. The middle of the chamber housed an enormous circular table with a suspended halo of fluorescent lights providing illumination. A polished black Formica floor and wheeled office chairs completed the space. The room looked familiar, but I couldn’t put a hoof on where I’d seen the like of it before.

The draconequus said, “There! This should set the mood nicely. Now, who wants to get the ball rolling?”

Twilight said, “I suppose we should start with updating the newcomers.” She sat on the floor and recounted the events of the last hour to the latest arrivals. All eyes settled on me and I shuffled uncomfortably under their gaze.

Rarity said, “Well… at least you scared Cozy Glow a bit. That counts for something, doesn’t it?”

I frowned. “I’m afraid that’s another mark in the fail category.”

Pinkie piped up. “No pun intended!”

“Umm… yes. Grogar and his crew had not seen my power shot before. Now they know it takes a full second to get through their shield. By the time we see them again, they will have made it stronger or countered it in some other way.”

Rainbow Dash said around a mouthful of sandwich, “So why did ya shoot at Cozy? You had your choice of who to take out.”

I considered. “The Storm King and Grogar had their own shields. There was no way I could get through both the shield surrounding the portal and theirs.”

Applejack asked, “So why didn't you aim at Chrysalis?”

“Well... Cozy goaded me and the fake Star Swirl had already gone through the portal with the bell. Plus, I didn't think it was ethical to shoot Chrysalis in the rear.”

Applejack and Cadance shared a knowing look.

The pink alicorn said, “Perhaps you should have been spending less time staring at Chrysalis' rear.”

Trixie snorted down a laugh. Pretty much every female in the room now shared the same amused smile.

I protested, “Don't be ridiculous. She was in Star Swirl's form.”

“And how, exactly, is that better?” asked my wife. For his part, the old mage raised an eyebrow.

I heard muted laughter all around me. I said, “That didn't come out quite as I intended.”

I had to try to get the meeting back on topic. I sat down in one of the chairs and rolled up to the table. I think every mare in the room gasped and raced to claim chairs of their own. Ponies, changelings, hippogriff, and griffon slid around everywhere. Spins, impromptu races, and more than a few crashes ensued. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose with a hoof. I hadn’t considered that rolling office chairs would be a new thing to Equestrians.

The only ones not participating were the males who crowded around me alongside the table. Maybe they hoped it was a safe zone from the endorphin-fueled mayhem that careened across the floor.

A tiny Discord appeared on my shoulder. “Should we tell them these are leather chairs?” he asked in a chipmunk voice.

I shrugged. “I’m sure Rarity already knows. For the others… let’s not spoil their fun for now, OK?”

“Save it for an inopportune moment later, got it.”

Twilight spun past us, giggling. Her upstretched hooves gripped the base of Gilda’s chair. The griffoness used her wings to rotate around even faster while holding the legs of a third chair. Above her, Rainbow Dash used their starting speed to whirl around in a blur.

“That’s new,” said Shining.

The diamond dog grunted in agreement – I think.

“Yep,” added Thorax.

“I must concur,” said Star Swirl. “I may be a lifelong bachelor, but even I know when not to interrupt mares having their fun.”

Ten minutes later, I called out, “Can we please get started now?”

The squealing and laughter stopped, followed by the mares all taking suspiciously long and circuitous routes to the table. After further unnecessary switching of places that I swear took another ten minutes, I called the meeting to order.

“The Security Council is now in session. Diadem, what is the first item on the agenda?”

I looked over at my advisor when she did not answer right away. Diadem was listening to her sister whisper something in her ear. The changeling princess smiled and said, “The first order of business is for a vote of commendation to Fluttershy for making those delightful sandwiches.”

Lots of head nods and murmuring from around the table. Fluttershy let out a little ‘Meep!’ before hiding behind her mane.

Before I could speak, Apicula said, “All those in favor?” Over half of those seated raised a hoof. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Penny raising hers.

“The motion passes!”

Fluttershy beamed shyly and smiled at the muted hoof stomping. That’s when I noticed all the mares in the room looking at me and chuckling.

I quickly wiped the scowl off of my face. “There are only five of them and hundreds of allies opposing him. Grogar and his goons can’t observe every one of us all the time. The more work we can have done by those under our commands, the less likely he will get wind of it. We can write out notes of instruction and have Lieutenant Penumbra deliver them to the Equestrian Postal Service.”

Discord said. “Pffft! Don’t bother. The mail service delivers mail out here in my dimension. I’m sure that cross-eyed mare would pick up mail as well. Don’t know how she gets here. Didn’t care to ask.”

Sanguine Dreams growled. “That same gray mare drops off packages at my hive as well. She has for years. That pegasus is so bloody cheerful that my warrior drones are loath to put her in a pod as is… was standard procedure for trespassers.”

Polistae smiled. “At least you get a muffin with every delivery, don’t you?”

“You too? Yes, I suppose that is her saving grace.”

Celestia and Luna stared at me intently and I remembered their words about the Ponyville mailmare from the dimension where they were trapped. Some mysterious things about Derpy might make a little more sense now. Regardless, we had to get back on topic.

Starlight said, “So while others are doing the real preparations, those in this room and especially the triarchs can be feeding bogus clues to our adversaries.”

“What do ya mean?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“We’ll make Grogar focus on overcoming strategies that we have no intention of using. An elite changeling squad consisting of one warrior drone from each hive. Researching brand new spells that would take even Twilight years to perfect. Tiny improvements in our existing strategies, like slap-tasers that hold ten percent more charge.”

Pinkie waved a hoof as she bounced in her seat. “Oh! Oh! Oh! I get it! We’ll be sending red herrings to all the Triarchs! A whole school of them!”

I blinked. “I… never would have thought to put it that way, but yes, that’s exactly right, Pinkie.”

The party mare squeed in delight then elbowed Skystar. “I’ll be needing your help on this one, sweetie!”

Maybe Pinkie didn’t quite get it.

Trochanter said, “Grogar has enlisted the aid of Chrysalis. Who else would be motivated to aid him to end the Triarchy?”

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “You mean besides a quarter of the nobles in Canterlot?”

Rarity said, “You know, darling… that makes sense. The disgruntled among the social elite always feel slighted to a degree—some more than others.”

A name sprang to mind. “Archmage Spell Nexus. I can ask Lieutenant Colonel Dusky Wings to put him back in protective isolation when I see him again.”

Every eye across the table stared at something just above the height of my head. I sighed. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”

“You didn’t know?” asked Thorax.

Trixie patted me on the withers with an outstretched wing. “You must forgive my husband. He… focuses on other things.”

I turned around to see a mouthful of fangs. “I am duty-bound to say you need to work on your situational awareness, Your Highness.”

“Never mind that,” I snapped. “I want you to relocate Spell Nexus to a secure facility.”

The batpony shrugged. “My squad razed the sunroom on the Hebrides Archipelago to the ground after he was declared free of dark magic. That is no longer available.”

“I don’t care if you throw him into a broom closet! Find another location and keep it secret!”

The officer’s lips pulled back further until I saw every inch of every fang in his mouth. “Your orders will be carried out to the letter, sir.”

“Good.”

I turned back around, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

Now feeling a bit calmer, I said, “Who would like to speak next?”

A couple of hours later, every one of us found ourselves standing on the ceiling of the throne room. I checked and discovered I was not using any flight magic to do so. After those with wings shuttled all the non-flyers down to the floor, the familiar double trapdoor opened in mid-air.

Discord snaked his head out of the opening and grinned. "Thanks to you all for joining Fluttershy and me for tea and sandwiches. I do hope the lucky ones enjoy my parting gifts. Ta ta!" The doors swung closed with a horrendous squeal then fell to the floor.

Looking around, I saw Queens Sanguine Dreams and Apicula flaunted enough bright colors to make Pinkie’s confetti canon jealous. They hadn’t looked like that a moment ago.

Trixie said, “You are both evolved changelings now, aren’t you?”

I said, “Don’t be concerned. Discord’s tricks always come with a time limit. By this time tomorrow—”

Apicula galloped up and kicked one of the trap doors which obligingly skipped across the marble floor. “Discord! You moth-eaten sack of discontent! Get back here and take back this curse!”

Discord’s head and neck appeared from under the other trapdoor as he lifted it with his paw. “It would be my august pleasure. You do realize that you would then owe me a favor in return?”

Apicula's neck pulled back and the anger drained from her face. “Ahh… I suppose... I can withstand this abomination of my form... for a short while.” The draconequus winked and fell back into a dark space where the floor should be, pulling the door closed after him. I remembered that I owed Discord a favor and shuddered.

Sanguine Dreams looked over her withers, inspecting her body. “While disagreeable, I find this form acceptable for the time being. The sensation of generating love is most unusual. This warrants further study.” The queen turned to face my herdmate. “Lady Rarity! Would you be willing to practice the art of sharing love with me?”

The alabaster mare made some noises half-way between scandalized and pleased. Meanwhile, she fussed with her mane and tail until she got her composure back.

She stood tall and proud. “And why, pray tell, did you choose me of all ponies, darling?”

Sanguine Dreams cocked her head for a moment then brought it back up straight. “Because you are the least ugly of the ponies here.”

The temperature of the room dropped a few degrees. Even Twilight took a couple of steps away from the changeling queen.

Rarity enunciated every word with an edge that could cut steel. “In that case, no.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

If life gives you lemons, then make... cucumber sandwiches!
What do you mean – it's supposed to be lemonade? This is Discord's place, not your boring logical "fact".

The illustration is a homage to "Dr. Strangelove".

Chapter 93 - Circumventing Surveillance

I was thoroughly enjoying sky-dancing with Rainbow Dash as Marklestia. While my lightning talent as a stallion now matched or even exceeded that in my mare body, only my Celestial form could keep up with the Element of Loyalty. We still delighted in times like these which had become rarer due to how complicated and busy both our careers had gotten.

Today, though, we had an ulterior motive. I defy Grogar or anyone else to keep up with us, let alone eavesdrop, while we were rocketing through the sky and pirouetting in our spontaneous dance. It was a virtual certainty that we were able to exchange information and orders without being overheard.

My next stop after we had parted ways was one of the backup mirror portal rooms. I dropped my invisibility spell only after landing in front of the cave entrance in the Everfree and venturing inside. With reasonable confidence that my location was unknown, I switched back to being a stallion and stepped into the anthro world. This portal was not the same one that Rarity and I used to take on anthro forms, so I was still my regular alicorn self when I emerged. My destination today was the Canterlot Throne Room where I hoped to have an unscheduled meeting with the local Princess Celestia.

I had never met this version of the Alicorn of the Sun although the Diarchs were aware of us. So far, we had only dealt with their Princess Twilight Sparkle who had taken it upon herself to be the liaison between our worlds. What I needed went a bit beyond friendly relations, so she accompanied me to the capital to ensure a meeting would happen. The Mark Wells of this world had described this Celestia to me and, if anything, he had been restrained in his description of her voluptuous appearance. She was conspicuously more so than my own anthro Marklestia form, and that’s saying something! Aside from the familiar regalia that our alicorn wore, she was just as nude as every other pony. The thing that bemused me was how little I was turned on by the sight. I could only assume that I was so thoroughly ponified that I found quadrupedal mares sexier now, except for a certain Element of Generosity.

Stop thinking those thoughts, Mark. Now’s definitely not the time!

We had a relatively short meeting and Celestia agreed to discuss my request for aid with her sister and let me know in what ways they could contribute to our defense. I had come prepared with a detailed report that they could review at leisure. Meanwhile, I hastened to return to my dimension before my absence was noted.

On the way out of the Throne Room, I ran into my counterpart and we shared a fist-to-hoof bump. As we walked back to my portal, Anthromark explained that Celestia and Luna had basically conscripted him, much to his Trixie's displeasure. He strategized the future of his Equestria by evaluating new technologies from different dimensions. Anthromark also filled the role that Shining Armor and I teamed up to do in my realm: dragging the military into the modern age. He promised to look over my report with the diarchs and pass on any novel strategies they could devise.

I stepped through the portal mirror and emerged not into Canterlot Castle but Discord’s War Room instead. After a moment’s disorientation, I realized that I wasn’t the only one there. Twilight was seated at the table along with a couple of other familiar faces.

“See, Path? Proof positive that anypony can be an alicorn if they try,” the griffon said.

I grinned as I trotted up to them. “Sure, Free Agent, but you wouldn’t believe the crap you have to go through to earn a horn.”

The griffon rolled his eyes. “Don’t I know it!”

What? Never mind – I could hear that story later.

I turned to his earth pony companion and hoof-bumped him. “Hi, Long Path. I didn’t expect Twilight to drag you here.”

He gave me a lopsided smile. “She didn’t. A certain draconequus of our acquaintance had a paw in this.”

“No big surprise there. So, has Twilight finished filling you in yet?”

“Yes, and I can tell you that House Path will be fully behind your efforts to defend Equestria against Grogar. Helping in situations like yours is virtually our mission statement. We’ll start organizing our resources immediately. However, in the meantime, I suggest hooking you up with our technology expert, Techbird. In light of what has happened to your Celestia and Luna, they will need something to make up for the loss of their powers.”

“I thought that they would be contributing only with their experience and previous knowledge of Grogar’s methods.”

Free let out a cawing laugh. “You really think those two will sit back and let you do all the fighting?”

I thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Good point. What did you have in mind?”

Path said, “Techbird built my power armor. It’s so good that I can even fly, and it has been proven in battle. I figure that if she can make something that good for a magicless pony like me, she shouldn’t have any problem doing the same for the Royal Sisters too.”

I frowned. “That sounds pretty awesome, but will she have the time to do it? We figure that Grogar must be pretty close to making his big move.”

“You haven’t seen Techbird in action. With the full resources of House Path at her disposal, she can accomplish near miracles.”

“She’s scary good,” agreed Free.

“I’ll second that,” said Twilight, but not the one sitting next to me. I turned to see a second purple alicorn entering the room flanked by a griffoness with purple plumage. They were followed by Celestia and Luna. The former’s pink mane was the only way I could be reasonably sure that these were our alicorns and not from the House Path dimension.

I smiled and said, “Welcome, Twilight and Roseclaw, to the Discordian War Room. Did you mean to come here or did you get re-routed like us?”

The new lavender alicorn nodded to her counterpart and replied, “I was taking the place of your realm’s Twilight to make it less obvious that she was absent while negotiating with my herdmates. I had intended to bring Celestia and Luna to meet Techbird to get a jump start on preparations but ended up here instead.” She looked around. “Interesting décor.”

“I’ll tell you about its inspiration some other time.” I just wouldn’t mention the titular lunatic who was the central character of the movie … or the cautionary tale about nuclear annihilation. Yeah, I had eventually recalled Dr. Strangelove. I looked back to Path. “So, regarding armor for our Royal Sisters – a fait accompli?”

The grey pony shrugged. “You said yourself that time was short.”

“No argument. Sparkles is quite capable of deciding things without me. Anything else you need to know before I head back? I don’t want my absence to be noticed.”

Free Agent answered, “Nah.” He waved at my Twilight. “This attractive mare has been pretty thorough.”

“Good. Then perhaps one of them can fill us in,” came another very familiar voice.

I turned to see Trixie entering in the company of a crystal changeling queen. From the voidless mane and tail, I could tell that this one was our friend Chryssy and not Grogar’s ally.

Unless… ugh! Never mind. I trusted that Trixie vetted her thoroughly.

Unless… argh! This was going to drive me crazy! Fine. I trusted that Discord had a handle on the situation and that my universe’s Chrysalis was smart enough not to walk into the Lion’s Den twice… this time with zero chance of backup or timely escape.

A little forewarning would have been useful because Free, Path, and one of the Twilights all immediately leaped out of their chairs and prepared for action.

“Stand down, guys,” I said, stepping between our guests. “She’s on our side.”

My wife said, “Princess Chryssy and Trixie were just heading to the palace gardens for afternoon tea, but the door seems to have led here instead.”

“There’s a lot of that going around today,” Twilight Path said drolly as she resumed her seat.

I gave Chryssy a welcoming hug before turning to our House Path allies. “Friends, I’d like you to meet Chryssy, wife of Shining Armor and Cadance, and Princess of the Crystal Kingdom.”

Free Agent started guffawing, holding onto his chair to stay upright. Unfortunately for him, the griffon did not count on the chair having wheels and he went ass over beak. Long Path’s expression shifted to a wry grin. “I can’t wait to tell our Shining and Cadance about this.”

Chryssy smiled. “Been there, done that with these ponies already.” She hugged our Twilight with one wing. “It never grows old.”

My co-ruler returned the hug. “Well, it seems you were brought here to get acquainted as well as informed, so I’ll leave you to it. I need to get back to Canterlot.”

“Oh, no need to rush!” exclaimed Discord as he emerged from the glowing map of Equestria closest to the huge table. He wore a maid’s outfit and pushed a tea cart laden with sandwich platters. And when I say laden, I meant a mountain. The poor cart was groaning under the weight of the edibles. “I spent all afternoon preparing snacks!” he whined in a faux female voice.

“You know I have to get back before I’m missed,” I said.

Discord booped me on the nose. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head. I passed on word that you wanted Diadem to pretend she was you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “And if they note the absence of my right-hoof mare?”

“Another changeling is impersonating her. There’s not a shortage, you know?”

I blinked for a moment. “Why not just get that changeling to impersonate me then?”

“That would be too simple. Honestly, you should know me better than that!”

Silly me. Oh well… “I suppose I could stay and chat for a bit then.”

“Tut! We still have a few more guests to invite. Be a good chap and fetch them.”

Discord looked at me expectantly. Although I had no idea whom he meant, I figured just standing there waiting for hints wasn’t going to achieve anything. Therefore, I headed for the door. It wasn’t a complete surprise that I emerged into a portal mirror room rather than Discord’s living room. One look at the Royal Guard stationed there was enough to tell me that I wasn’t in my universe. She recognized me and saluted, her full set of plate mail clanging as she sprung to attention.

“Welcome, Prince Wells. I was not told to expect you.”

“Thanks, Sergeant.” What was his… her name again? Why could I never remember it? “Actually, this was unplanned. Are the Princes available?”

“The afternoon session of Day Court has not yet begun, sir. I foresee no problems getting an audience. I will assign Corporal Pansy to accompany you.” A burly stallion stepped forth.

“Much obliged.”

We headed to the Throne Room. There were some startled looks from several of the nobles and citizens that we passed. After all, the Mark Wells of this universe was a mare and hadn’t become an alicorn the last I heard. It was my turn to be thrown for a loop when we arrived and I saw Prince Luna and Prince Celestia in conversation with Prince Cadance and Princess Shining Armor. Celestia noticed me immediately and started smiling.

“Welcome, Prince Wells. I suspect you are the answer to our perplexing situation.”

“Thank you, Your Highness. What situation would that be?”

Cadance was the one to reply. “Shiny and I received a summons to Canterlot from the Diarchy. When we got here though, neither Uncle Celestia nor Uncle Luna knew anything about it.”

I nodded. “Sounds like our Discord had a hoof in this. He has been expediting some meetings due to our current crisis. I’m supposed to bring some of you along for a conference. Oh, and sandwiches,” I added.

Shining lifted one of her eyebrows. “Sandwiches?” she asked in a sweet contralto voice.

“Don’t knock 'em 'til you try 'em – Discord makes a mean one. Who knew that chives and garlic would go so well with cucumber?”

I took my leave from the strategy session as soon as I could. While Diadem might be able to do a fair imitation of me due to her familiarity, she did not have my authority to act if an emergency occurred. At least one of us Triarchs needed to be present.

I did not return alone though. Prince Cadance asked to visit his counterpart upon hearing how close to giving birth she was. Maybe I should have insisted he refrain but the Prince pointed out that we regularly had guests from the other worlds. Stopping all visitors would be almost as suspicious as an influx of them. I couldn’t counter that argument, so here we were.

“I suppose you had better call me Mi Amore Cadenza to help prevent confusion while I'm visiting your dimension,” the alicorn stallion told me.

So, I left Prince Cadenza and Princess Cadance gushing over the incipient arrival. My life is weird.

To be honest, I’m astonished that we got as much time to prepare as we did. We could only speculate on why Grogar didn’t attack us immediately after stealing Celestia and Luna’s magic. We didn’t waste our reprieve though, and none of us got a full night’s rest for several days. It was almost a relief when the goat made his move at last. The first we knew that we were in trouble was when I tried to visit the House Path dimension to coordinate the posting of several squads of the House’s finest warriors led by their Warmaster, General Warfist.

I moved to step through the portal mirror as I had done so many times before, only to bash my snout painfully on its surface. A few quick tests showed that all the portals were non-functional. I sent Penny to find Twilight while I attempted to re-open them. Crimson Boulder remained to watch my back while I was distracted. It did not take long for this dimension’s expert on portals to turn up and throw a diagnostic spell at them. She wandered between several mirrors, stopping the longest at the full-length unenchanted mirror just inside the entrance to the room. That one was only used by new arrivals to check their appearance before entering the castle proper. Her expression hardened and she faced me with a deeply puzzled frown.

“Lay it on me, Sparkles – are we bucked?”

“The portals are still functioning but the interdimensional fabric has been disrupted and their link to their counterparts broken. I just tried opening a new portal to the House Path dimension but that is blocked as well. I don’t know how that was achieved, but until that disruption is stopped, we have no access to any of the other worlds. Thank Celestia that the daggerscale portals operate on a different system and still work. I opened a new one on the way over to make sure.”

I suspected this was one of the reasons why Grogar had not attacked as yet – it had taken him some time to craft a spell to cut us off from our allies. I wondered how quickly he, or more likely Cozy, had caught onto our efforts. It did not matter – our enemy had dealt us another blow.

I opened my wings and hovered off the floor. I said, “Privacy?”

Twilight flapped her wings once and drifted in front of me. She closed her eyes and a silver bubble of magic appeared between us. It rapidly expanded, passing through our bodies. Both of us pulled in our wings as much as possible and moved together until we nearly touched. In seconds, the two of us floated inside a mirror-like sphere. The distorted reflections of ourselves were a bit distracting so I focused on Twilight’s face.

My co-ruler smiled as she opened her eyes again. “Until Grogar guesses the shield frequencies, it should be safe to talk. At least a couple of minutes.”

That gave me time. I smirked. “So how often have you and Thorax stepped away for a bit of ‘alone time’ this way?”

The alicorn sputtered and blushed. She punched me with a hoof. “Behave… and don’t get any ideas! I’m only this close to you by necessity, Mister.”

I chuckled before getting serious. “We still have access to other dimensions through Discord’s pocket universe, don’t we?”

Twilight frowned and looked down. Her eyes were unfocused. “I don’t… I don’t think so. His realm can only be accessed from ours. That means it inherits the same restrictions.”

“Are you sure?”

There was a flash of light and the silvery surface of the sphere was replaced with adjacent white rectangles that shrunk in size toward the top and bottom. Each sign wrote out in blue text “SORRY… TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE.”

I blinked. “How did—”

Twilight smiled. “I used Fluttershy’s anthro fashion measurements for the shield frequency values. I discussed this with Discord a while ago. Anything else?”

“We’ve got to mobilize at once! Grogar could strike at any moment.”

“But we don’t have even half the forces we planned to use to defend ourselves!”

“No, but we’re still better off than we were a few days ago and we have to make the most of that. Right now though, time is of the essence!”

Twilight dispelled the shield and we dropped to the floor. The rest of what we had to do couldn’t be hidden from Grogar’s sight.

I rubbed my hoof through my mane. A gentle breeze brought the scent of pine needles from the forest at the base of Canterlot Mountain. Short-cropped grass covered the flat meadow for a couple of miles in each direction. The demonstration was supposed to take place at noon, after which Trixie and I could go back to presiding over the afternoon session of Day Court. Instead, I listened to Twilight, Crispberry, Moon Dancer, and three changeling scientists argue about what was holding up the experiment this time. State transitions, equivalency vectors, transmutation barriers, and other terms went in one of my ears and out the other.

Crimson and Penumbra shared a few words and drifted apart. At least they had something to do, namely guarding me. A dozen changeling guards formed a ring around the noisy scientists at the center of the field, serving as Twilight’s protection detail. My co-ruler chose to rotate out her bodyguards often enough that I seldom recognized who she brought with her.

Trixie jabbed me in the side. “Tell Miss Sparkle that we will not wait any longer. Trixie will return to Canterlot if she is not ready now.”

I rubbed my barrel. Even without earth pony strength, my wife knew where to poke to get my attention. “Yes, your worshipfulness.” She gave me a roll of the eyes and a grin. Yep, I’ll call that a win.

“Lab coat!” yelled Moon Dancer as I approached.

The nearest changeling scientist took off her suspiciously thick lab coat and helped me put it on. Once I fastened the top button, the weight of the armor plates lessened as the spells kicked in. Everything now had a lime green tinge thanks to the personal protection field that hugged my skin. After Trixie and I had our heart-to-heart chat with Twilight, the purple mare had completely revamped her approach to safety. Everyone in attendance today had to wear goggles at all times – even the soldiers stationed fifty yards away. Twilight’s procedures also emphasized rigorous adherence to checklists rather than ‘science on the wing’ as Trixie called it.

Twilight fluttered her wings in excitement – prattling on and on about staying within acceptable limits and something being ten digits after the decimal place.

I raised a hoof to get her attention. “Trixie and I need to leave.”

Twilight waved her clipboard. “We’re finally ready! Just stand outside the white circle, please!”

I frowned at the red pen writing on her checklist. “You are all certain that the test will be safe?”

Moon Dancer smiled. “Absolutely! A simple matter of tuning the yield profile. We tripled the thickness of the shell after the last test to maximize safety in transport. Only today did we realize the internal pressure wave wouldn’t be sufficient to rupture the surface.”

Crispberry said, “Fortunately, such a simple problem had a trivial solution. Increase the pressure wave by a factor of three. Twilight and I were smart enough to make the accelerant tunable, so we’re good to go!”

Twilight and the other three scientists nodded their heads. One of the changelings said, “If you would follow me, sir.”

Reluctantly, I joined Moon Dancer and the three changeling scientists gathered twenty feet away from Crispberry and Twilight. Fifty feet beyond them, Trixie tried to start a conversation with Sergeant Thunderbolt, her bodyguard. I still had never met a soldier more dedicated to soldiering at the expense of anything else, like personality. My wife would be more likely to get a casual conversation from her slippers. Yes, I said that for a reason and yes, it had to do with Discord’s pranks.

Crispberry loaded the oversized crossbow with a hoof-sized metallic sphere. The front end of the weapon rested on a solid tripod while the stock dove into the ground at a thirty-degree angle. The crossbow was already cocked and a densely woven rectangle of fabric loosely cradled the projectile. Curiously, the metal ball gave off a clear ringing sound when it settled into place. I looked downrange to see a cage perhaps two hundred yards away. Fluttershy convinced a snake inside to volunteer for today’s experiment. According to the butter-yellow mare, ‘Dimples’ didn’t care where he was, so long as he was allowed to sleep. In return, Twilight promised to bring back the snake as soon as the demonstration was over.

Crispberry placed his hoof next to the crossbow. “Ready to release the trigger lock.”

Twilight's horn glowed for several seconds as she looked over every part of the crossbow. She glanced down at her checklist. “Release trigger lock.”

The changeling inventor moved his hoof. “Trigger lock released. Confirm?”

Another pause. “Confirmed. Verify the target zone is clear.”

“Target zone is clear.”

Crispberry crouched. “Ready to fire.”

“Fire!”

THHHHHWUMPPPP!

Crispberry and Twilight had their attention directed at the target area. I had not seen one of these crossbows in action so my focus was on the mechanism. That’s why I noticed the silver sphere falling off the near side of the barrel track. I tried to yell a warning at the same time I fired up my horn. By the time that half-second was over, it was too late.

With a loud tinkling sound, the sphere broke and a wave of white magic spread out in all directions. I raised my shield but the magic passed right through. Belatedly, I remembered that this weapon could only be countered with a modified shield spell that was just as new.

I saw the color washing out of Twilight and Crispberry’s bodies, leaving a dull gray behind. Past them, Trixie teleported away just before the wave reached Thunderbolt.

I felt my every movement stop and heard a cracking sound seeming to come from everywhere. My peripheral vision showed my ashen gray muzzle and horn. I could still see and hear, which matched Twilight’s description of how the petrification effect would be perceived.

With a flash, Trixie stood next to Thunderbolt. “NO!” She teleported directly in front of me, her eyes wide as saucers. “NO!”

A pegasus guardspony landed behind her. “Your Highness! What are your orders?”

“I… I…” My wife’s voice shook as she brought a hoof up to her mouth.

The stallion frowned. “Princess Trixie!”

She tore her eyes away from me and looked back to where Twilight. The Element of Magic was frozen in stone – her eyes and mouth opened wide in shock. Trixie said, “I… Only Twilight, Moon Dancer, and the changeling scientists knew how to reverse the petrification. Now they are all…” She turned to face the guardspony. “Go to her castle. Talk to the rest of her lab workers and bring one back with the counter-agent.”

The pegasus nodded and jumped into the air with a mighty thrust of his wings. His body folded in on itself with a sickening thunk and blood filled the air. His form sailed over my head.

Fifty yards away, the Storm King’s armored form strode out of a familiar portal. His right arm pointed to spots behind me and the blur of some projectile shot out again and again from above his wrist. Each time, I saw his fist tighten, I heard screams or the sound of breaking stone.

Behind the yeti and to both sides, a dozen portals opened, disgorging monstrous creatures, only some of which I recognized. Behind the first rank, more fearsome beasts moved forward to exit from the same cave system I had seen before.

“NO!” yelled Trixie. She raised a large shield that must have covered me, Moon Dancer, and the three changeling scientists. As Grogar and Tirek marched out of the portal behind the Storm King, the yeti shifted his aim and two blurs hit the top of Trixie’s shield in quick succession. The second blow shattered it and my wife collapsed in pain, grabbing her skull in her hooves.

The Storm King’s amplified laughter rang out. “Good! Good! Now to finish what I should have done months ago.” His arm pointed directly at Twilight.

“Wait!” yelled Trixie as she struggled to stand up.

The yeti didn’t. His arm fist tightened but nothing else happened. After a pause, he tried again with the same lack of effect. The visored helmet rotated to look down at Grogar, now standing with Chrysalis on the Storm King’s left while Cozy Glow and Tirek placed themselves on the yeti’s right. Cozy Glow was in full adult-sized alicorn form again and Chrysalis stood a foot taller than I remembered. The red-coated centaur loomed over all the others at twice the height of the enhanced changeling queen. The Bewitching Bell hung from the gold loop on the old goat’s collar. That answered where Celestia and Luna’s magic had gone.

My wife looked around the field in all directions, her face pale. I could only surmise that we were surrounded by monsters on all sides. In front of me, I recognized a tatzlwurm, a bugbear, two chimeras, several timber wolves, and an ursa minor. Mixed in with them were enormous black spiders, an orange-furred primate the size of the Storm King, a pink crustacean of some sort, and what looked like pill bugs the size of a wagon. Those were just the monsters I could adequately describe… there were many more that I couldn’t. Celestia and Luna told us one of Grogar’s titles was “King of Monsters.” He was certainly living up to that title. Because I could do nothing more than watch, I saw the last of the portals shrink and disappear behind the horde of beasts.

Crimson Boulder, Penumbra, and a pair of changeling guards rushed to form a defensive wall between Grogar and us although I was certain it was a futile effort. Nevertheless, my wife glared defiantly at our enemies and spat out through clenched teeth. “What do you want?”

The old ram smiled. “The unconditional surrender of Equestria, Your Highness. You have five seconds to comply.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Now this is a pretty pickle. What do you suppose Trixie will do?

Art by Medivin.

Chapter 94 - Fateful Campaign

Trixie snarled at Grogar. “I wasn’t talking to you.” He blinked and frowned.

My wife shifted her head to scan across the other villains. “Grogar will take anything he wants from you then move on to conquer other worlds. There’s nothing you four also-rans can do about it.” She stepped to a point roughly between Twilight and myself. “Because you have the Triarchy surrounded, I have no choice but to comply with your demands. What do all of you want?”

The four collaborators tried to talk at once. The Storm King’s amplified voice drowned out the others. “My lands will be returned to me after I take care of some personal business.”

Trixie shrugged. “Those countries are merely protectorates of Equestria. The Triarchs have no way to compel them against their will, and none of them want you back as their emperor.”

“Ahhhh. Emperor! I do like the sound of that.” His arms dropped their aim slightly. “I would have you order your troops to conquer them for me…”

The Storm King again pointing his wrist weapons at my wife. “… but they would refuse to carry out those orders, wouldn’t they? You will not deceive me by promising me this.”

The armored yeti lowered an arm and condescendingly patted Chrysalis on the back. “Instead, you will take possession of all Equestrian hives and order their armies to do my bidding.”

The changeling queen raised an eyebrow. “Even if I captured every queen and princess, no drone would follow the order of another hive’s queen. They would choose to die first. It’s an unfortunate trait of my people. Ironically, the Southern Wastes Hive accepted your orders because you were not a changeling.” She turned away from him. “When my hive is strong enough, I will support your conquests.”

Tirek snorted. “And how long will that take? Decades?”

Grogar said, “These trivial details can wait until—”

Chrysalis ignored her boss. “Four years, with the resources I will get from being the absolute monarch of Canterlot.”

“What?” exclaimed Cozy Glow. “No! I will be the sole ruler of Equestria, ruling from my castle as all alicorns have done before me.”

Chrysalis laughed and turned to face Cozy. “I have subdued alicorns on multiple occasions. Do not overestimate your importance or power.” She waved a hoof. “You may have the rest of Equestria for all I care.” From Cozy Glow’s snarl, she did not take the suggestion well.

The old goat raised his voice, “Enough! This bickering can wait until—”

Tirek stood as tall as the Storm King. His voice boomed in the same way it had when the two of us fought outside of Ponyville. “But why? We’ve already won. I recognize my greed led to my downfall. I won’t make that mistake again. I’ll settle for the eastern seaboard. No further than a hundred miles inland.”

Trixie interrupted. “But I thought Cozy Glow controlled the rest of Equestria.”

“Everybeing wait,” said the new alicorn. Unlike with Grogar, the other villains did not try to talk over her. Cozy Glow narrowed her eyes. “Something’s wrong… Princess Trixie is stalling.”

My wife gasped. “Stalling?” She knelt until her head nearly touched the ground. “I already acknowledged that you won. You have the Triarchs under your control. Please don’t—”

The Storm King didn’t wait for an answer, sending a projectile hurling toward my wife. At the same time, Grogar activated his bell, and its dark magic shot outwards… to pass through Trixie and wash over me. Nothing returned to the bell.

When my wife stood up, a foot-long metal dart stuck out of the ground just behind her. A second impacted next to it, likewise leaving my wife unharmed.

“… kill us.” Trixie finished her sentence with a sigh, turning around to walk away from the villains. “Like I said before…” Her eyes glowed red and a nasty smile formed on her lips. “… you have us surrounded. What could be worse than that?”

Trixie’s form faded and disappeared in a whiff of smoke.

“No!” yelled Cozy Glow, turning towards Grogar. “I told you that something was fishy about this!”

The armored yeti resumed his fire, targeting spots behind me. I heard the sounds of metal striking rock and stones tumbling against each other. A moment after he pointed my direction, the world spun wildly in front of my eyes and everything turned black.

I felt the stasis field surrounding my body dissipate and I took a deep breath. I pulled off my goggles to get a bearing on my surroundings. I felt grass beneath my hooves though it appeared I was floating a hundred feet off the ground. My wife stood next to me, the red gleam from the amulet around her neck matching that of her eyes. She was sweating profusely and her breath hissed through clenched teeth. She was maintaining I didn’t know how many illusions. No need to distract her.

A line of guardsponies and changelings walked past us, shedding their goggles as they went. They faded from view and I could only hear their hoofbeats and wings buzzing until that stopped somewhere ahead and below Trixie and myself. Similarly, I knew no outside observer more than thirty feet away would be able to see me.

My pegasus vision picked out our five adversaries a little over a mile away. Monstrous beasts surrounded them in a ring over two hundred feet wide. Nobody else could be seen. That was about to change.

Diadem hoofed over a helmet. I put it on while Steady Flight draped something over my back. Looking behind me, I saw an interlocking sheet of calcite crystals formed into a loose robe. These were similar to the sheet used to detect dark magic in Colonel Dusky Wings but these had been enhanced with an entirely different set of enchantments. I felt the clasps connect around my barrel and legs, then my neck. With luck, this would deflect the effect of Grogar’s Bewitching Bell. Only a few of us received this crystalline armor from the Plague Dimension before the portals went offline and this was my first time wearing mine. The rest of the troops received a thin, sprayed-on layer of crystal that might or might not turn back the magic-stealing beam. The crystal floor of the caves under the Castle of Friendship had reflected the bell’s magic, now we would find out if scaled-down versions would do the same.

I turned on my headset to hear Fluttershy feeding information to everyone on the channel.

“… looks awfully hungry. It’s breeding season for chimeras and… yes… all three of these are males. Umm. The rounded insects will like rotting flesh more than anything. And… that’s it. Over.”

After guiding my armor to seal around my forelegs, my valet clonked me on the helmet. Penny hoofed over the Staff of Sacanus and we took off – Steady on my right and Penumbra on my left. As we moved away from my wife, she faded from my view, but through my headset, I heard her say, “Three, Two, One, Showtime.”

The empty fields all around us shimmered and warped. In just a few seconds, thousands of Equestrian troops materialized into view. Ponies, griffons, hippogriffs, zebras, changelings, minotaurs, sphinxes, several juvenile dragons, and even two sea serpents. Oops. Stephen Magnet’s unmistakable form appeared in a couple of other spots as I rotated in place. I talked into my microphone, “Trixie, remove all the sea serpents.” Right on cue, they vanished. I had to hope our opponents did not notice this mistake.

There was no sign of the daggerscale portals that brought everyone here. So far, so good. I would oversee the battle until the illusion covering me failed or I needed to get personally involved. “Advance,” I ordered. The sounds of wings and the thrum of steps filled the air.

Grogar spoke to Chrysalis and she nodded then took off.

The changeling queen’s horn lit and she disappeared with a flash. Crap. I was too slow. I cast the long-distance hearing spell that Cadance had taught me.

The Storm King waved his hands. “No retreat! Attack! Attack now!” The warlord pointed his arms in random directions, causing Tirek to duck. However, no projectiles shot from the warlord’s wrists.

The armored yeti turned back to face Grogar. “Where is my ammunition, goat? Do not try to control me by—”

Grogar waved him silent then touched a glowing jewel on his collar. “Move forward! Kill!” The ring of beasts slowly trudged outward, their footfalls adding to the din. They moved with military precision, without a screech or a roar, slowly spreading out into a well-organized skirmish line. The ram looked at Tirek. “Check the caverns.”

Tirek turned around and made a gesture with his hand. A portal to the cave system appeared in midair. I saw scores of diamond dogs running through the cavern. At the far end of the underground room, a large chunk of the ceiling dropped toward a console of machinery. The rock stopped perhaps a foot above the equipment, the protective shield glowing purple. Three dragons flew down from above, grabbing the stone with their claws and their wings a blur of motion. The shield exploded with a bang, followed by a hollow crunch as the boulder fell the rest of the way. The crushed machinery spewed sparks in all directions.

Tirek built up a ball of magic between his curved horns only to stumble backward as two dragons matching his size leaped through the portal. One breathed fire onto the centaur’s face while the other bit into his foreleg. Tirek roared in pain as the portal collapsed.

The Storm King charged ahead of the monsters, crushing ponies and griffons with his sheer strength. Then he disappeared from view, replaced with the illusion of another pink-furred ape that roared and pounded its chest. The real ape on the battlefield shuddered for a couple of seconds before snarling. He answered the challenge with a roar of his own. One more howl that drowned out the armored yeti’s protests was all it took for the pink ape’s territorial instincts to override Grogar’s commands. It leaped through the air and, after two bounds, slammed into the Storm King, knocking him off his feet. With Pink Kong keeping the yeti busy, our forces could deal with the rest of the horde of monsters.

Celestia and Luna had described in great detail the multitude of creatures and the many ways they had been put to use in the other dimension. They had been the major reason why it had taken the two alicorns so long to defeat Grogar and we were under no delusion that it would be any easier this time. Garnering four powerful allies was merely the ram’s insurance policy for his latest attempt to conquer a world. We had spent an awful lot of time and effort planning ways to deal with every one of the possible beasts Grogar might call to his side.

Swift ground creatures led the charge. A dozen pukwudgies fired a barrage of spines at our soldiers but their armor was sufficient to cope. Several cipactli (crocodile-frogs), orthros (two-headed dogs), cragadiles, and an ophiotaurus (half bull – half serpent) were a greater threat, but our shock troops consisted mainly of well-trained earth ponies whose strength allowed them to wield immense weapons that inflicted massive casualties among their foes. The gigantic timberwolf was another story though. Despite our troops breaking off large portions of its body, dark magic always reassembled the beast for further attacks upon our allies.

“Pull back from the timberwolf,” I instructed over the headset. “Operation Barbecue!”

This was my code to Trixie. As soon as the warriors were clear, a ring of raging fire sprung up around the timberwolf. It seemed that our intel about its vulnerability was correct because it shied away from the illusory flames, rearing up on its hind legs to get as far from them as possible. I heard Grogar’s magically amplified voice directed its way. “Jump over the flames. Now!” The wooden animation shook its head emphatically, pulling its forelegs even tighter to its chest. The giant timberwolf’s fear of immolation allowed Trixie to herd it towards a portal that was set up behind it. A blast from a unicorn horn made it stumble through the gateway onto a deserted island where it could harm no one. A few of the other smaller monsters that had been caught up in the trap were similarly disposed of before the portal collapsed.

Not everything was going our way, of course. Giant spiders were both fast and deadly. The Equestrians that they did not attack with their mandibles were instead rendered helpless with webbing. Two could play at that game though. The Wonderbolts arrived carrying nets holding several globes in each. They bombarded the spiders with those and the shells shattered on impact, releasing a rapidly expanding foam that quickly hardened, trapping the arachnids and rendering them helpless. I directed a squad of changelings to help out a company of unicorns that was under attack by slime creatures that appeared to be immune to all magic offensives. Polistae’s hive had developed some nasty defenses against the slimes which included some kind of powder that made their gelatinous bodies fizz and break down amidst high-pitched keening.

One monster stood out due to its erratic behavior. Focusing on it, I identified it as a chimera, and it was… arguing with itself? The best that I could make out from this distance was the goat head was screaming at the tiger head to stop fighting. “Are you trying to get us killed?!” The tiger part strained to obey Grogar’s commands but the goat part evidently had some control of its shared body and it kept jerking to a stop. The snake head kept busy apologizing to every being in the area. “Ssssorry, everyone! Ssssorry! I don’t know what got into him today. No, really! He’ssss ussssually not like thisssss.”

Looking across the battlefield showed me another chimera was not having the same multiple personality issues. How exactly was Grogar controlling these monsters? Regardless, I judged that this chimera posed no threat and turned my attention back to the next problem, and it was a doozy.

An Ursa Minor waded into the midst of the battle, its gigantic paws batting away all combatants within reach, some of them its allies. The part physical and part ethereal nature of its body made it a difficult threat to cope with. Fortunately, there was a way of dealing with the creature that did not involve violence, one that Twilight and Trixie had worked out together due to previous experience with one. Ursa Minors were basically big children which is probably why it was so indiscriminate with the warriors and monsters it was ‘playing’ with. What we needed was a parent to take charge. No problem! Operation Babysitter commenced with an illusion of an Ursa Major stomping up and glaring sternly at the Ursa Minor. Once the cub had stopped and cringed under her gaze, momma Ursa motioned with her head and started to walk away, the child dutifully following. The Ursa Minor would be taken to the cave where Zecora had a sleep mist prepared for creatures like these.

While we had made a big dent in the attacking horde, there were still countless other beasts to deal with. To help even the odds, we had chosen this area for the battle because of the terrain and we intended to make full use of it. While Trixie was disrupting the attacks of the ground-based monsters with her illusions of perilous cliffs and searing lava pits, there were real treacherous gorges and traps hidden beneath an apparition of an innocuous field of grass and wildflowers. I saw a twenty-legged horror appear to fall into the ground leaving nary a trace. A cyclops and two gegenees (six-armed giants) chased a phantom squad of ponies only to discover the camouflaged river ravine the hard way.

Of course, many of the monsters quickly figured out the dangers and started avoiding them to take safe routes that some of their numbers had already found. Too bad that I was directing earth pony and diamond dog teams to create new crevasses in their path under cover of normality. Our forces were not having everything go their way though. Maulwurfs were the biggest problem. Their digging claws could tunnel faster than a diamond dog and were a terrible weapon to face. Fortunately, Thorax’s changeling soldiers were familiar with this threat and I directed Pharynx to come to the digging team’s assistance.

The air wasn’t safe either. Harpies and Pyrausta (four-legged insects with filmy wings and a dragon's head) attacked our aerial forces. We had traps for them too. A grove of tall trees had been strung with enchanted nets and disguised as an almost completely open meadow. The two visible trees were an illusion too but, when lined up, they served as a guide for the safe path for the pegasi and griffons who lured in their pursuers. The Wonderbolts played their part too with more classic dogfighting. Between their flawless maneuvering and tight teamwork, they knocked a mob of winged monkeys out of action in the space of a few minutes.

Several bugbears were a threat too, but they were cumbersome and slow compared to our troops. A squad of griffons armed with bolas, weighted ropes, and nets dealt with them one by one until they were all helplessly tied up and out of the action.

The biggest aerial threat was the roc. This giant bird with slate for feathers was virtually immune to both physical and magical attacks. It also seemed to hate dragons. But even that gargantuan avian was brought low when it flew at full speed into an invisible cliff face to which I guided Dragon Lord Ember who played bait. Rocs are almost impossible to kill but I was willing to bet this one wasn’t going to play a part in the rest of the battle.

It seemed like Trixie and her amazing illusions were winning the day for us, but there was still a huge amount of action on the ground due to the sheer number of monsters. Swarms of myrmekes (gigantic ants) were causing huge problems as two replaced every one that was cut down. On the other hoof, a flock of cockatrices was not as big a danger as they normally would be. Special lenses in the helmets of our battle armor filtered out the magic effect of their gaze. Only those beings who refused to wear helmets were at risk. A few statues dotted the field that would have to be depetrified later. Just like during the battle against the Storm King’s forces, retrieval teams rushed in to carry away our allies that had been injured or turned to stone. Tempest Shadow flew past me laughing up a storm, riding the back of a huge beetle which she was herding with bursts from her restored horn. The insect didn’t seem happy about its passenger but it had no say in the matter. The Pillars of Equestria and Stygian had more experience than any of us at corralling monsters. They worked like a well-oiled machine neutralizing anything that got near them at the south edge of the battlefield. The Emergency Response Squad from the House Path world arrived before the interdimensional portals had been rendered useless. They were backing up the changeling forces from all the hives, not to mention the dragons under Ember’s command. Between them all, they were doing a fine job of combatting and controlling the monster horde. That just left the major players to deal with.

All the villains were spread out over the battlefield. Chrysalis was still unaccounted for but I couldn’t worry about that now. Near the center of the clearing, I saw Cozy Glow performing the same job as me for Grogar’s forces – directing their combatants with the Royal Canterlot Voice and throwing out the occasional hex to briefly dispel an illusion. Nullstone tracking bands occasionally flew her way but she countered each with a quick spell that left them inert. Even when one of the bands approached from directly behind her, somehow the mare knew and neutralized it without any apparent difficulty.

I flicked to a new channel on my headset. “Operation Behemoth – you’re up.”

The ground beneath Cozy Glow shook and she took to the air. The fighting to the north paused as the ground quaked in a repeating rhythm. The disturbance grew closer to the center of the battlefield, made obvious by which combatants lost their balance, both friend and foe. A gigantic form appeared as a dim outline, then a silhouette, and with a final step, came directly in view. Torch rose to his full height, loose-fitting armor plates covering his entire body. His bladed gauntlets rose high in the air then started downwards, slowly at first.

Cozy Glow screamed and teleported repeatedly. Each time she reappeared, she loosed another horn blast that didn’t so much as dent the former dragon lord’s armor. His fists impacted the field, throwing Grogar and Tirek to the ground. When the gauntlets rose again, there was no damage to the grass. Would Cozy notice?

“HA!”

The curly-haired alicorn shot out a wide beam and Torch seemed to fold in on himself and disappear. In his place, I saw a small adult yak facing away from Cozy Glow, a conductor’s baton in one hoof. Three large male yaks stood to her left and three to the right. The yak cow waved her wand saying, “Clementine say left yaks all together… jump!”

The six large yaks gaped at Cozy Glow who looked directly at them. The alicorn let out a magic blast that charred the grass where Clementine had been standing a moment before. The smaller yak had been thrown onto the back of one of the fleeing adults who said, “No! Yak say yaks run now!”

Cozy charged her horn and started to follow, only to stop when her mane blew forward as I heard a deep huffing sound. The mare turned around as another Torch materialized out of thin air. This dragon stood on his hind legs and wore nothing but bladed gauntlets. He glared down at the alicorn balefully.

Cozy laughed. “Trixie, you really are an idiot.” She sent out the same wide beam of magic. “If you think that trick will work…” The alicorn’s expression changed just before the gauntlets slammed together with her in the middle. When Torch opened them again, she dropped like a stone. For emphasis, the huge dragon stepped on Cozy Glow and ground her into the dirt with his heel.

A pulsing sphere of light floated upward. I thought I recognized it from my training session with Crimson Boulder. I screwed my eyes shut as I yelled into my microphone, “Torch! Close your—”

Even through my eyelids, everything went white for a moment. Looking down again, I saw Torch bellowing in pain as he stumbled backward, one huge hand covering his face. I perceived a blue magic field lifting Cozy Glow out of the dragon’s footprint just before a cylinder of magic encased her. Her end of the tube shrank at startling speed until the mare was ejected from the far side, skidding to a stop in front of Grogar.

Good! He was distracted. I threw one of my four nullstone tracking bands. Penumbra’s followed directly behind mine. Before they reached their target, they burst into flame. A hemisphere twenty pony-lengths wide solidified around them, cutting us off from the pair. I heard a blood-curdling scream come from inside the dome.

Blast it! I said into my microphone, “Grogar is healing Cozy Glow with a bone-knitting spell. She’s still in the fight. Also, Grogar has an invisible immolating shield that extends ten body-lengths in all directions.”

I saw a changeling fly up to Torch’s right ear. He growled and raised a clawed hand to bat the drone away.

“Wait!” I heard through the open channel. “It’s me, Moon Dancer! Let me help you! I can be your eyes!”

The dragon’s snarled with even more viciousness. “That pony was a unicorn.”

“My true identity is a changeling. In the Dragon Lands, I told you no Equestrian Laws forbid the ownership of banks by dragons.”

Torch held his breath for a couple of seconds. Then he let it out. “Very well. Point me to a monster uglier than ponies.”

Timpani surveyed the field. “Which do you prefer? A gigantic crustacean or the biggest tatzlwurm I’ve ever seen?”

The former dragon ruler smiled. “I choose both.”

“Good. Turn to your left and take three steps forward.”

I was not able to follow all of Scorch and Timpani’s tag-team battle because Tirek could no longer be contained. Despite instructions to avoid getting too close to the centaur, he had managed to steal enough magic from our troops to recover from earlier attacks and grown considerably both in stature and power. The nets and changeling resin bombs could no longer impede him for more than a few seconds. The dragons that had pounced on him at the cave had been his first victims, but I could see several others strewn along his path. Grogar’s monstrous minions kept forcing our allies within range of Tirek’s magic-consuming ability. However, two could play at that game.

Under cover of the horizon-wide overcast, clouds had been enchanted to create solid platforms, not unlike those found in Cloudsdale. Stockpiles of munitions had been gathered ranging from mere boulders to enchanted bombs. While some of them were to be used on the monsters, the primary target was Tirek. Under the guidance of pegasi outside of the centaur’s range, unicorns launched a barrage at him. Rocks had no magic to steal and, when falling at terminal velocity, they were a lethal threat to Tirek, so he wasted no time blasting them away. Pegasi and griffons had spent much of the day building up the stockpile, so the bombardment kept coming, forcing him to burn through power at a prodigious rate. He hadn’t stolen enough magic yet to cope indefinitely, so instead of standing his ground, he started retreating. Time for the next phase.

“Operation Gopher,” I instructed.

The barrage was not random. We had anticipated that Tirek would try to avoid the bombs and had deliberately left a weak spot in our attack. Naturally, the centaur took that route but we had a team of diamond dogs on the job. Unseen beneath the ground, large shafts were dug with just a thin layer of clay and dirt left covering them. Inevitably, one of Tirek’s forelegs fell through a concealed pit and he collapsed, his forward momentum causing excessive strain on the limb. I heard his cannon bone snap from where I hovered, followed immediately by the centaur’s scream of agony. We had no intention of leaving him like that though. Tirek was still dangerous as long as he was conscious and able to steal magic to accelerate his healing. That’s when the enchanted munitions came into action. Tirek was now a sitting duck and projectiles rained down on him. Nearly all of them were mana leeches, clinging to him and drawing his magic out. His talent was unable to affect them, so his best defense was to try to blast the weapons before they reached him. Many were destroyed but enough got through that he could not pull them off his body quickly enough and the centaur was weakening fast. He was visibly shrinking and his beams were fading. Then a boulder hit him on the head and he went limp.

“Halt bombardment and secure Tirek,” I ordered before turning my attention to the rest of the battle.

Grogar was proving to be an issue. All his gimmicks were giving a hard time to any being that tried to get to him. The armor coating was proving to be of little benefit as evidenced by the number of our allies that had been rendered helpless. I wondered if even Torch would be immune to the Bewitching Bell. Then I heard a sound that hadn’t met my fuzzy ears in a long, long time – a noise that had resonated only once before through Equestria’s crystal blue skies. I heard jet engines. Or at least, something very similar. As my aural appendages swiveled to track the sound, my eyes followed to pick out two very large ponies in bulky armor cutting through the air on a course for Grogar. The ram must have heard it too because he turned to face the new threat, his bell at the ready.

As Equestria’s new sky knights drew closer, I could see the dark blue feathers of the wings of one of them and the pearly white ones on the other. I afforded myself a smile. It seemed that the Royal Sisters had gotten the hang of their magitek armor just in time. Each alicorn was fully enclosed in the House Path technological wonders, with only their wings free to maneuver, their vulnerable leading edge also protected. The jet sound was just that – a magical version of the more prosaic ones that I had known since I was a kid. And the thrust that they gave would leave the average pegasus in the dust. The power for them was provided by a battery pack on their backs which Techbird said were good for two to four hours of use, depending on how much work they did. It wasn’t just the jet that the batteries powered, of course. A whole slew of weapons was incorporated into their armor. Fortunately, these were off-the-shelf items back in Techbird’s dimension and she merely had to hook them up to the custom suits of armor which she had put together in a ridiculously short amount of time. Tony Stark – move over! Iron Mare is here. Both of her!

Naturally, Grogar’s first instinct was to try to steal the magic from the rapidly closing alicorns. Too bad for him that they had no magic left to steal and the battle armor’s battery was well shielded. They were almost on top of him before he hastily teleported away. I spotted him reappearing amidst a group of monsters that had remained to guard the ram. Slingtails started hurling boulders at their aerial enemies but the Royal Sisters easily evaded them. The rocks proved to be more of a menace to the soldiers who were coming in to back up Celestia and Luna. Giant pill-bugs were also a major impediment; their segmented carapace was virtually impenetrable, so when they rolled into a ball and hurtled at a soldier, there was only one course of action and that was to get out of the way fast! However, the real threat to the two knights in magitek armor was the hydra.

If my memory served me correctly, the hydra of Greek legend had nine heads. This one had only seven, which was still six too many. Between them all, they could track the movements of both sisters, spitting highly corrosive goo at every opportunity. Several dracanae, monsters with the upper body of a human female and the lower of a sort of dragon, flew in to harass the alicorns, but the simple-minded hydra was proving to be a problem to them too. I waited until Celestia disposed of the last of the dracanae before I activated my headset.

“Fluttershy – are you and your team in position yet?”

Her hesitant voice came back. “I… yes, I believe so.”

“OK. Start Operation Dinnertime.”

A couple of the hoof-soldiers peeled away from the squad. Moments later, they opened a gigantic portal. Through it, I got a view of a swamp and a huge pile of fish on its shore. Because we had intentionally positioned the portal downwind of the rotting heap, I was quickly hit with a god-awful stench. It must have smelled like ambrosia to the hydra and pill bugs though because they both stopped fighting and stared longingly at the free meal. Green rectangles glowed on their bodies, one on the head of each pill bug and one on the neck of every hydra-head which now waved in apparent agony. I recognized them as control blocks and ordered them destroyed. Fluttershy flew in and hovered in front of the monsters to get their attention before unleashing her Stare. They all ceased thrashing about and were fixated on the small mare. How she could do that to so many sets of eyes at once, I don’t know, but it worked. It gave the unicorns and earth ponies in her team the time and opportunity to shatter the enslaving devices by horn blasts and crossbow bolts. The moment that Fluttershy let up her Stare, the hydra and pill bugs charged through the portal which was then promptly shut down. Suddenly, Grogar was left without some of his strongest defenders.

Judging by his frantic activity, the ram was calling in backup from the monsters he previously sent marching to battle. Celestia and Luna had no intention of waiting for that help to arrive. Still, they could use some assistance. Only when I keyed on my microphone did I notice that all I could hear was static. I switched to the army-wide frequency, then a few others. All channels were down and what I said into my microphone did not get echoed back to my ears.

I heard Penumbra cry out, “Head’s up!”

My batpony guard shot upward, colliding with a flying serpent three times her size. The green snake sported a ruff of colorful feathers which also adorned its undersized wings. The pair spun out of sight as they battled.

I turned to Steady. “Communication is down. Order the flyers to stop Grogar’s reinforcements.” Without a word, my valet sped off on a mission more suitable to his original career. I was about to gather more flyers for the task when I heard a familiar demented laugh. A trail of broken bodies led to the outskirts of the battlefield, starting with the massive, pink-haired ape. At the end of the bloody trail, the Storm King charged forward, his rocket-assisted boots allowing him to chase down any ground-based foe. Before my eyes, the yeti picked up an earth pony soldier and slammed him into the dirt. The armored foe followed this up with punches that shook the ground and unquestionably ended the guardspony’s life. Still more thundering blows rained down. This only ended when a yak ran horn-first into the back of the Storm King’s knee. The yeti fought to keep his balance, then pivoted around and slapped the yak away with a backhand, causing our ally to tumble head over tail.

I growled. Nothing we threw at him even slowed the Storm King down. He would just go on slaughtering our troops with impunity, one by one. Half our traps were rendered ineffective by his strength and the other half by his ability to fly short distances. I looked closely at his armor, only seeing a few small dents. The only thing that could penetrate his armor…

My eyes went wide. I stored the Staff of Sacanas in its pocket dimension as I dived down to the central field. Quickly, I collected six of the Storm King’s darts, putting five in my saddlebags. I held the last in both hooves as I gained altitude, looking it up and down. The stake was made of a hard and dense metal. The projectile tapered to a point on one end and flared out into thick stabilizing fins on the other. There was no hole for propellant so it must be fired some other way, maybe a magnetic railgun.

I glided as silently as I could toward the back of the armored suit. A second before I got to him, the Storm King stopped moving.

On instinct, I flapped hard and started a climb. I felt the air whoosh underneath me as I gained altitude, avoiding his attempted strike. Grunting with effort, I banked hard until I spiraled downward. Looking below me, I saw the yeti holding up a hand where he expected me to fly. Instead, I turned harder and passed inside of his reach. I locked my elbows and used my momentum to drive the metal stake into the gap between his helmet and neck armor directly above his back.

I pulled out two more darts as I circled the yeti. I stayed at a safe distance while I sized up my enemy, being careful not to come anywhere near his reach. The helmet was now stuck looking ahead and to his left – once again reduced to using one eye. The yeti tried to reach the spike but could not touch it with the power armor’s reduced flexibility. Power armor… where could his power source be? Only his chest and back plates extended far enough out to enclose anything like a battery.

There! A thin line showing an access plate of some sort on the front. That had to be it.

I dived to the ground in front of the yeti, landing hard. I pulled rock up from the ground to encase both of his arms. He braced his legs as he twisted and strained. The Storm King grunted then said, “You won’t—”

I wasn’t listening. I flew forward, my forehooves outstretched with my elbows locked again. When the access door opened and something shot out, there was no time to dodge. A net covered me and threw me onto my back. Electrical shocks ran across my body. I heard the yeti’s amplified voice. “Eaaaaasy.”

The powerful shocks might have incapacitated a different person, but my affinity for lightning meant I could move freely. I dropped the spikes and tried to access my unicorn magic, then my earth pony magic. Nothing. Reaching upward, I grabbed and pulled. A weight at the end of the netting hit my head, but at least that was free now. The sound of rockets came from somewhere above me. I looked up to see the flames shooting from the bottom of the Storm King’s boots cut out and he started to plummet downward.

Again, I tried to cast unicorn and earth pony magic and again I failed.

With a screeching cry, a roc slammed into the armored yeti, sending both crashing to the ground by my side. They rolled further away, giving me more time to extract myself.

CRACK!

I looked up as I tried to pull my rear legs free of the netting. The roc hung limp with the base of one wing gripped by the Storm King’s fist. The bird’s neck hung at an unnatural angle. Blue-green flames enveloped the roc, leaving my advisor in its place. I gasped.

“Sister!” I spared a glance to see Queen Apicula a half-mile away, flying directly toward us.

I turned back just as I pulled my tail free. My advisor gave me a slow head shake before the Storm King shifted his grip, catching her barrel in his fist and squeezing. I heard popping sounds as her eyes went wide.

The yeti said, “If you recall, I made you a promise.” He pulled his arm back over his shoulder as I yanked two more of the metal darts from my saddlebags.

I turned my anger into concentration, focusing every bit of my will into a single purpose. When the armored warlord threw Diadem’s body at me, I poured my magic into the mystic equation in my mind.

The world turned white for a moment and I smelled burnt hair and feathers. Most importantly, I was standing behind the yeti. I pushed myself upwards with a spire of rock and drew earth pony power into me. With a yell, I plunged the two spikes into the middle of the Storm King’s back armor. One cracked the metal sheet but the other only made a small dent.

The yeti backed up, slamming into my nose and carrying me off the spire. He toppled backward, doubtless trying to crush me beneath the armor’s weight. I reached my rear legs for the ground while trying to hold the two darts steady. The moment a rear hoof touched, I shot two thick spires of rock past both sides of my head. They struck the back end of the darts, embedding them deeply into the armor. Unfortunately, they also crushed my forelegs and front hooves.

I screamed in pain, only to scream again as the yeti rolled to the side and I hung on with my broken limbs. My head swam as he paused for a moment after getting to all fours. It had to be now.

I shorted as much electrical energy as I could through the darts. I couldn’t last more than a second. The pain shooting up my legs from my broken pastern and hooves broke my concentration and all I could see was blackness. Dimly, I heard someone screaming as I felt metal slide along my barrel. Was I falling?

With a jolt, I felt some being's legs wrap around me. With another impact, the ground connected with my back. Earth pony magic flowed into me. Belatedly, I wondered why nothing seemed to hurt. Above me, I heard a changeling call out, “Lady Rarity!” That was a queen’s voice. I think it was Apicula.

My vision slowly returned. The blur of purple, yellow, and green couldn’t be anyone else. A thumping noise drew my attention. Muffled sounds of coughing came from the Storm King. As my vision cleared, I saw a small amount of smoke curling out of multiple places on his armor. He was alternately pounding and twisting at his helmet but it refused to budge. A glance showed that the dart I shoved into the gap between helmet and body was still in place.

“Coming!” called out a familiar sing-song voice. Rarity galloped in from the other direction, blasting a pack of timberwolves that got in her way. Needing to try my magic, I sent out a spell from my horn. Obligingly, the scattered branches caught fire.

Rarity came up to my side and her horn lit again. That’s when agony returned. I hissed in pain as my herdmate examined and manipulated my crushed limbs.

After taking a deep breath, she said, “Mark, there are multiple compound fractures in both legs. I can’t heal these properly.”

I snarled. “Then heal them improperly. I’ll get them re-broken later if that’s what it takes. Hell, I’ll cut them off myself then jump into one of Twilight’s healing pods if I have to. Right now, I need to get back in the fight.” Rarity gaped for a moment then took a deep breath. Her eyes hardened and she stared at my right foreleg, a frown etched on her face. Apicula gripped me tight around my upper body. I hoped that wouldn’t be needed.

It was. The bone-knitting spell hurt worse than when Starlight Glimmer used it after my last battle with the Storm King. I was left panting and unable to speak when the white mare finished. Instead, I nodded and looked down at my other foreleg. Another eternity of pain later, I was left shivering in Apicula’s grasp. After I don’t know how long, I clopped my forelegs together. No pain. Didn’t feel quite right, like something didn’t line up correctly, but I could live with that. I still felt weak and nauseous from the battle and subsequent healing. Now I had to wait until I felt well enough to stand again.

“Mother?!”

Apicula’s outburst made me look up at her and follow her gaze. A dozen paces away, another changeling queen strode past us. She had the same mixture of yellow and green chitin, but a mane and tail that shifted from a deep midnight blue to gold. She wore a confident smile and a blue-green aura surrounded her horn. Her crown was a match for Apicula’s.

I said, “Queen Dactylia?” The one from the Plague Dimension? I had put entreaties out to every changeling queen in every realm where we had allies. Did that mean our dimensional portals had been restored?

The changeling walked up to our prone foe, who still tried to remove his helmet, but with slow and sluggish movements.

PING!

The queen’s magic surrounded the spike that I had jammed into the base of the neck and tore it away. The same magic twisted and detached the helmet, causing a cloud of black smoke to emerge and rise into the sky. The Storm King coughed weakly and the queen used her magic field to pull his chin upwards to see his rescuer.

Two of the metal darts floated into view from Dactylia’s far side. She gripped them in her hooves and I heard a hissing sound. That’s when I noticed the metal spikes let off a red glow.

The yeti warlord blinked away tears then laughed between hacking coughs. “I thought that I had –”

Dactylia hissed out, “Be the last thing they see.” She then plunged the red-hot metal into both of the Storm King’s eye sockets.

The Storm King let out an ear-splitting howl of agony. When he dropped limp, an unnatural quiet fell over the battlefield. That silence was immediately filled with laughter. Not insane guffaws but joyful laughter.

Dactylia skipped and cavorted in front of us. “I did it! Finally, the long night is over! I’m finally free!”

I threw one of my nullstone tracking bands and Rarity did the same. They both hit their target and wrapped around the changeling queen’s horn. With a slow-spreading wave of green fire, the larger form of Chrysalis appeared. Even as a pair of bolas flew past me to spin out and wrap around Chrysalis’ front and rear legs, the queen’s delighted laughter continued unabated.

Penumbra landed next to me saying, “There were four of them. All better now.” She glared down at me. “Stop having Rarity shine your hooves while Apicula cradles your head. They have better things to do.”

I blinked. Is that what it looked like we were doing? While Rarity huffed, I realized Apicula hadn’t said anything. Through my neck and back, I felt her shivering. I rolled to my hooves and looked at her. She stared open-mouthed at Chrysalis. Of course! The shock of seeing and hearing her mother again and witnessing the death of her sister.

I shuddered. No. I couldn’t think about that now. I had to keep moving .

With my hooves, I pulled the queen’s head to look me in the eye. “Apicula! Listen to me! Do you need us to take care of you?”

The Southern Wastes Hive queen blinked and focused on my face. “Wha…? Mark Wells? Do I…” She shook her head and the steel returned to her expression. “No. I am… No.” She took off without another word.

I delayed just long enough to give Rarity a quick peck and a “Thanks.” Then I returned to the air.

When I reached my former observation spot high over the center of the battle, Penny and Starlight Glimmer came up to my side.

“Your wife reinstated our proximity illusion,” my bodyguard informed me. “As long as no one gets close, or you don’t go gallivanting down to the ground again, you should remain hidden. Ah! Here’s Steady Flight.”

My valet reappeared out of thin air as he drew closer. He smiled. “Message delivered, ready for the next.” He looked at the expression on my face. He had known me long enough to recognize my incredulous look.

“What did I miss?”

I rolled my eyes. “Later.” I turned my attention back to the field of battle.

Despite the massive inroads our forces had made, there was still a plethora of monsters keeping the majority of our forces busy. Many of the creatures had grown wary of traps but Trixie kept the illusions changing so often that they still were being caught. That didn’t mean that our warriors were getting off easy. Grogar was still pushing the monsters to both defend himself and attack everyone else to a suicidal degree. Worse still, the ram had allowed Cozy Glow time to recover and teleport to the eastern edge of the battlefield.

The mare stopped being subtle and began using her stolen magic far more aggressively. She blasted sweeping beams of raw power at the visible foes, gambling on some of them being real. Sadly, she was right. I think we lost most of a squad of earth ponies in just one hit and another took out half of a mixed squad of unicorns and changelings. It made my blood boil to see her laughing at her success. She resumed her tactics, aiming for the aerial troops this time. Fortunately, those were illusions but the next targets were not. These were saved by Prince Cadenza and Shining Armor who were working in tandem to protect our allies from harm. Shining’s shield was fortified by alicorn power and not even Cozy’s strongest beam could penetrate it. However, they could not cast the shield fast enough to stop the mare’s attack on other targets, so they changed tactics and tried to englobe the alicorn in an unbreakable shell. Unfortunately, Cozy could still teleport and she disappeared, only to rematerialize mere yards from my vantage point, too close for Trixie’s illusions to hide me. The alicorn spotted me and a nasty grin spread across her face.

I had intended to stay out of the combat for a while to recover from my fight with the Storm King, but that plan went straight out the window. Almost without thinking, I hurled a lightning bolt at her but she dodged and fired a beam back. It was promptly blocked by a magic shield generated by Starlight. The unicorn had been using a cloud-walking spell to stand by my side and her superior levitation ability to keep up with me when I maneuvered to better observe the combat. While her magic might not have been as powerful as Celestia’s, Starlight had the advantage of the knowledge of a wide array of spells plus experience. A second bolt was just as easily stymied. I retrieved the Staff of Sacanas from the pocket dimension and loosed a larger shaft of lightning. Again, Cozy teleported.

With a yell, Penny shoved me to one side as a searing beam passed through where I had been hovering a moment ago. A few feathers on my right wing were burnt to a crisp, but I was still able to fly, so I wasted no time worrying about that. I leveled the Staff of Sacanas and fired bolt after bolt of lightning at my foe, disrupting her ability to target me accurately. Meanwhile, Penny and Starlight commenced a two-pronged attack that split her attention. If the alicorn teleported, Starlight immediately threw up a spherical shield to stop the inevitable follow-up strike from a different direction. Then Cozy fooled us. Her next teleport took her behind Penny instead. The batpony reacted instantly which, along with her armor, probably saved her life. A desperate dive to one side resulted in a glancing blow that sent my herd-mate fluttering to the ground, her left wing damaged almost beyond usefulness. That could be healed but I was more worried about her crash-landing. Or at least I would have been if I hadn’t had to focus on not being the next victim.

Without Penny to split her attention three ways, Cozy was able to put more effort into fighting us. I kept wishing for more backup, but any Equestrian ally who headed our way was promptly met by one or more of Grogar’s monsters. It was clear that I was being purposely isolated so that Cozy could get her revenge on me. In the meantime, Starlight and I kept up our aerial dogfight. As the combat drew out, I could tell that Starlight was flagging. As powerful as she was, she was not an alicorn with their superior reserves of power. She was burning through hers at a prodigious rate due to having to defend against Celestia-level magic beams. Not even Twilight had put that much strength behind her attacks during our time war. This fight was taking too long. Then the inevitable happened.

One too many blasts shattered Starlight’s shield and blasted her off her cloud perch. The feedback disrupted her ability to cast spells and she plummeted down. I hurled a bolt of lightning at Cozy to distract her and dived after my friend. I managed to snag her with my telekinesis in time to lower her to the grass unharmed, only to get blindsided by a barrage from the alicorn. My armor saved me again, but the Staff of Sacanas went hurtling out of my grasp.

I slammed into the ground, my crushed right wing making me scream in agony. Despite tears of pain half-blinding me, I hastily struggled to my hooves in time to dodge another beam of raw magic. I drew on my talent to hurl bolts of lightning at Cozy but I kept missing and she responded with more blasts which I evaded or blocked with a shield. This happened again and again and it was plain that she was playing with me now. With no one to protect me or fight on my behalf, she had the upper hoof and she knew it. She kept alert to my incipient lightning attacks and ducked or teleported as needed. Then I ran out of stored electrical power and my final bolt fizzled.

Cozy alighted about ten yards away, a sneer of contempt on her face. “Not so smug now are you, Prince Wells? Thought you had us with your clever little ruse, didn’t you? Well, you never had a chance. We’ll whittle away your defenses steadily. Equestria will be ours soon,” she gloated.

“Do you truly think Equestria will bow to you, Cozy Glow?” I growled.

“Think? I know. They will acknowledge me as their Princess or they can suffer without their magic,” she replied smugly.

“You’re all about taking what isn’t yours, aren’t you?”

She smiled cruelly. “No – sometimes I prefer executions. Any last words, former Prince of Equestria?”

I gave her my best grin. “Yes. Lovely weather we’re having.” I looked skyward.

She blinked at my non sequitur. “What?” She followed my gaze.

The field of combat had been blanketed by clouds to provide concealment and a platform for our winged troops. However, while Cozy and I had battled, a special squad of weather pegasi had compacted a lot of this cloud into the biggest, blackest thunderhead you had ever seen directly overhead. Before the mare realized that she had fallen into my trap, I cast a temporal static spell that prevented her from teleporting and launched my ultimate attack.

I am the Alicorn of Lightning. I had spent months perfecting my special talent, much of it while in other dimensions where I could not be watched. I did not have to rely on stored power, nor draw on any thrown at me. I was the absolute master of this element and I could feel the cloud’s pent-up potential as if it was a part of me. I called upon it and it responded. A lightning bolt far greater than any I had previously wielded arced down and crashed into Cozy’s hastily erected shield. It was even less effective than Luna’s had been and the electricity sliced through it and into the mare before slamming into the ground. Grass, dirt, and rock exploded from that point, momentarily blinding me before it showered to the ground. With my ears still ringing from the thunderclap, I approached the crater that it had left. Half buried in the rubble was the unmoving form of Cozy Glow. She was dead or unconscious; either was a possibility because I had not held back one iota. While I had no real desire to kill her despite everything she had done, neither I nor Equestria could afford half-measures at this time. I had learned a harsh lesson and I wasn’t about to forget it.

Aware of my plan to trap Cozy, Prince Cadenza and Shining had stayed out of the fight. They had not been happy about the gambit but I had insisted because I needed to have her close to me and not moving or dodging other attacks. I had needed Penny and Starlight with me though because the evil genius might have smelled a set-up. While there may have been a chance that they could have overcome Cozy, their main goal was to distract her from the thundercloud formation. When she had apparently disposed of them before ‘defeating’ me, it had played to her major failing – she was unable to resist gloating. That had allowed me to spring our trap. To be absolutely certain she was no longer a threat, I took a suppressor ring from a pouch attached to my armor and put it on the unresisting false alicorn. I could no longer guarantee that the tracking bands wouldn’t be deactivated. Then I turned away to assess the status of the combat. Cozy Glow was no longer relevant.

The fact that Grogar was still in the fight was a testament to the difficulty that Celestia and Luna must have had when battling him in the other dimension. We had hoped that the Royal Sisters’ non-magical assault would turn the tide against him but that had not been the case. Dozens of creatures had been sacrificed to defend the goat against the power armor’s weapons. The arms were now depleted but there were still more monsters. And Grogar was not limited to those. While the Bell kept other warriors away, the enchanted gems on his collar twinkled as he manifested various other assaults on the alicorns and a shield to protect himself from ranged attacks. Eventually, the Royal Sisters pulled back to deal with the creatures on the eastern side of the battlefield. Only one thing was unsettling Grogar now and that was the team of Mi Amore Cadenza, Shining Armor, and Twilight Sparkle.

Freed of the task of battling Cozy Glow, they had turned their attention to the chief villain. While they still had to fight out of range of the Bewitching Bell, they were three of the most powerful beings in this world. They combined their horn blasts into volleys that were wreaking havoc on the monsters and causing Grogar’s shield to waver. He solved this problem by teleporting away, reappearing close to the trio. Before he could activate the Bell though, Twilight teleported them away and they resumed their assault.

Steady Flight landed next to me, hoofing over the retrieved Staff of Sacanus. Without taking my eyes from the battle, I asked, “Thanks… and how are they?”

I didn’t need to clarify. “Starlight’s exhausted but otherwise okay. Penumbra’s bitching about her wrecked wing. The bones are healed but her flight magic isn’t cooperating.”

“They’ll be fine then,” I said with a nod. Once again, I used the staff’s power to splint my wing.

“You look like horseapples.”

“I feel like it too.”

“What are we going to do about Grogar?”

I smirked. “We’re already doing it.”

The ram didn’t realize it, but he was being led into an ambush. Each time he teleported to try to get to his foes, he ran the risk of falling into it. Eventually, his luck ran out and he appeared almost dead center of the target. A daggerscale portal that had been set up in concealment was activated remotely by Rainbow Dash who had been circling high overhead. Finally, we had direct access within his shield. Out of the portal bounced Pinkie Pie who threw a glowing satchel at the ram in a high arc before pronking back through. Grogar reflexively blasted the bag before looking down, only to find his assailant gone. The satchel broke apart, releasing dozens of starving parasprites that immediately set about eating everything organic that wasn’t alive. That included Grogar’s leather collar. Within moments, the Bewitching Bell fell off the disintegrating neckpiece and Grogar’s shield winked out. The goat reached for the bell but Rainbow Dash zoomed in to snatch it from under his nose. Grogar wasn’t helpless yet though. A hoof touched one of the enchanted gems that now lay on the ground and a wall of magic appeared in front of the pegasus. Dash’s reflexes were amazing and she pulled up immediately, but not in time to prevent a teeth-rattling collision that jarred the bell from her grasp. Grogar’s horns glowed and the Bewitching Bell zoomed back towards its owner.

“Not so fast, Sugarcube.”

While the ram had been focused on getting his prime weapon back, Applejack had come through the portal. Grogar turned to the earth pony just in time to see two hind hooves heading for his face. I reckon she bucked him at least twenty yards. Judging by the way the monsters all suddenly lost interest in fighting, I was confident that he was down for the count. After a buck like that, I wondered if he even survived.

I wearily flapped over towards the scene of Grogar’s defeat, wincing with each beat of my injured wing. We Triarchs, Thorax, the Royal Sisters, and several others gathered about Grogar where he lay guarded by warriors and bound with an almost comical amount of manacles and ropes, not to mention several nullstone bands around his horns to neutralize his magic. A groan escaped his lips. Well, that answered the question as to his survival.

The Bewitching Bell lay where it had dropped when Grogar’s levitation had cut out. I picked it up in my magic while Twilight gathered up the enchanted gemstones.

Trixie spoke up. “Take the prisoner to the dungeon and keep him under heavy guard until we can deal with him appropriately.”

“Yes, Your Highness!” responded the earth pony soldier in charge of the squad. A unicorn levitated our vanquished foe while another set up a daggerscale portal.

I didn’t wait for them to leave. “Come on. We have a few more problems to resolve before this is all over.”

I headed across the field with everyone else following until we came to the crater blasted by my massive thunderbolt. At the bottom, still covered by rocks and dirt, was Cozy Glow, alive but very much more frazzled than Luna had ended up. Although the evil mare had only been knocked out by my thunder-strike and supposedly rendered helpless by the nullstone ring, I nevertheless still considered her dangerous. However, a couple of unicorns posted around her had been tasked with keeping her unconscious until now.

“Do you want me to do this?” Twilight asked nervously as I prepared to strike the Bewitching Bell.

I smirked at her. “Don’t you trust me, Twi?”

“Of course I do!” she protested. “It’s just that you and magic…”

“Don’t worry – I’ve got this.”

I tapped the bell with my hoof and aimed it at Cozy. Just as it had done to me when I fought her in the caves, it drew the magic out of the mare. Her form shrank and horn faded until she was a mere pegasus once more. I doubt that I left her enough magic to even fly any more. I turned to face the Royal Sisters. “I’m not certain which of your powers she ended up with, but I’m pretty sure it’s Celestia’s, so I will try you first. We can always change it around later if I’m wrong. Unless you want to swap responsibilities?” I raised an inquiring eyebrow.

“Nay, I wouldst have the more challenging work of managing my moon and stars,” Luna replied with a pointed look at her sister.

“I’ll stick with the far more difficult task of controlling the sun,” Celestia said with a smug smile.

Even now, they couldn’t resist getting in some good-natured jabs.

Just as I pointed the bell at the solar alicorn, Penumbra jumped in front and spread her impressive wingspan. Her eyes were closed and a smirk pulled on her lips.

I couldn’t help but match her smile. “Penny, what are you doing?”

My herdmate shrugged. “Well, Equestria is a meritocracy, isn’t it? And the only flyers with wings bigger than mine make the Dragon Lands their home.”

Celestia let out a delighted laugh as she came up behind Penumbra. “Let’s check that, shall we?”

The two stood on their back hooves, both reaching out their right wings. Despite the batpony’s stretching and straining, the outcome was clear.

Luna said, “A laudable attempt, but my sister doth triumph by dint of her primaries.”

My herdmate hammed it up, stomping off to the side to be enveloped by one of Luna’s wings. “Be brave, young one. Forsooth, wing-envy is a terrible thing.”

I tapped the Bell and mentally directed the stolen power to Celestia. Moments later, her mane regained its normal flowing aurora.

“Thank you, Mark. I feel my connection to my sun restored.”

I nodded in acknowledgment and then addressed the unicorns watching over Cozy. “You can allow the prisoner to regain consciousness, but gag her before doing so. Take her to the dungeon now.”

“At once, Your Highness!”

Next up was Tirek. I looked above everyone’s heads to find him, only to have Penumbra poke me in the flank. After she caught my eye, she pointed to a spot much closer to the ground. Across the battlefield, I saw the centaur was back to his wizened, unpowered self. Tirek’s body shook as he retched again and again – his dry heaves punctuated with the occasional scream as field medics attempted to splint his shattered foreleg. A puddle of the familiar multi-colored spew covered the ground in front of him. As I watched, two changelings dropped a limp pegasus soldier into the pool of pure Equestrian magic. Seconds later, the stallion flew out of the mess as if his tail was on fire. Well, good. Ponies were getting their stolen magic back.

I considered Tirek for another moment. No point speaking to him yet unless I wanted to get thrown up on again, not that he was in any condition to talk. I supposed he could wait.

My gaze shifted to another figure a hundred yards away. I sighed. This was going to be tougher. We headed off in that direction.

Queen Chrysalis was lying on the grass in relaxed repose despite her bindings, a contented smile on her face. While I had seen her when she had arrived with Grogar, this was my first opportunity to take in her enhanced appearance since she had been imbued with Luna’s power. She had to be the first alicorn changeling to ever exist and she looked magnificent. Her glossy black chitin was devoid of holes and her natural emerald armor contrasted beautifully with it. Her lacy wings sparkled with delightful iridescence and her mane and tail shimmered.

Her grin turned mischievous and she stretched luxuriously, letting me see her body in motion. I swallowed and forced myself to look only at her eyes. She pantomimed biting something in the air and slurping the love from it. Chrysalis followed this by waggling her eyebrows.

Damn emotivores.

The changeling queen had three tracking nullstone bands wrapped around her horn but several warriors surrounded her just in case. She ignored them completely, looking up to smile as I approached.

“I formally surrender,” she said.

I cast my gaze around me, noting the dead and wounded being attended to, then looked back at Chrysalis. “Are you finally satisfied, Your Majesty?”

“You knew my price, Prince Mark Wells. You were unwilling to pay it, so I had to make… alternative arrangements.”

“Many creatures died today because of a battle that you enabled by stealing the Bewitching Bell.”

“Oh, are you referring to the battle where you ponies chose the time and place thanks to your little deception? A final attack would have happened with or without that tawdry artifact. All it did was provide more assurance to the self-absorbed fool that he was invincible. Besides, it is not my fault that you ponies are so gullible.”

Ouch. That hurt because it was so true. “Nevertheless, you provided aid and comfort to the enemy just to have an opportunity to get your hooves on the Storm King.”

Her brow lowered and she stared at me intensely. “No, I did it to avenge my only friend.”

I was stunned. The old Chrysalis would not admit to having or even wanting a friend. I could see that Twilight was shocked too. As the Princess of Friendship, she had formed her philosophy around doing things in the name of friendship. That Chrysalis went to such lengths in the name of the being she cherished most was disconcerting. And yet, it showed so much promise too.

Trixie said, “Queen Chrysalis, you are under arrest as a prisoner of war and will be returned to your cell. The Triarchy will determine how to deal with you at your trial.”

The changeling queen beamed. “Outstanding! It will be good to see my grandnymph again.”

As I brought the bell up, Twilight put a hoof on my withers to get my attention. “Be sure to take only Luna’s magic. If you take everything, you will kill her.” I blinked in surprise. I had seen changeling bodies near where Grogar had fought but hadn’t made the connection.

My co-ruler held out that same hoof. “Do you want me to do it?”

As I hesitated, Chrysalis said, “Don’t trouble yourself, Hive Mother. I trust Prince Wells to perform his duties flawlessly.” The queen had a relaxed smile on her face and gave me an encouraging nod.

I took a deep breath and focused all my will on exactly what I wanted to achieve. I held up the Bewitching Bell and tapped it. As it drew out Luna’s power, Chrysalis’ form shrank and her armoring faded. She retained the sparkling wings although they had reduced to their normal size, and her mane still shimmered as it did before her escape. I then returned the magic to its proper home and the Alicorn of the Night regained her starry nebulous mane.

“Bind the prisoner and take her back to her cell,” Trixie commanded.

A unicorn guardspony stepped up and locked two inhibitor rings around Chrysalis’ horn before removing the three tracking nullstone bands which he passed to Penny. The soldier then cast a spell that produced magic shackles that bound the changeling’s legs and wings but allowed her to walk. Only then did he remove the bolas that had been tying her legs together. We watched as a squad of guards took her through a daggerscale portal and it closed behind them.

Our next stop was at the triage site. Battlefield medics had gotten to work immediately and more doctors were being portaled in as we watched. One group of mixed species looked unharmed but appeared to be faded and exhausted. These were all the ponies, griffons, and other species that had tried to attack Grogar and had their magic stolen as a result. Sorting out which magic was whose seemed like an impossible task, but having used the Bewitching Bell twice, I had a hunch that the stolen power would have an affinity for its original host. With no practical alternative, I decided to try a group restoration. Unlike with Luna and Celestia, I did not attempt to direct the magic to the individuals. Instead, I envisioned the cloud of power hanging over the group and allowing it to flow naturally to where it belonged. To my great relief, this tactic worked. No magic was left floating in the air after the last of the victims recovered. That told me that there weren’t any unknown cases, which was very reassuring. Similarly, Twilight cured all the petrified soldiers and I received a report that the last of the troops drained by Tirek had been healed by taking a bath in the centaur’s vomit of pure Equestrian magic. Whether they wanted to do so was a moot point as none were strong enough to object.

I reported this news to my friends. “Not bad,” Twilight said with a begrudging nod. “You did a great job returning everybeing’s magic.”

“I had a great teacher,” I admitted. I held up the Bell, “So, what are we going to do with this? It’s far too dangerous to keep around, but it’s indestructible.”

Celestia said, “I have a solution if you will permit me?”

A glance at Trixie and Twilight showed no objections and I was curious. “Okay, I’ll bite. What is it?”

The white alicorn smiled. “This!” She took the bell in her magic, turned her head to face the sun, and shot a torrent of power in its direction, carrying the enchanted object along with it.

I blinked a bit before asking, “Did you just shoot the bell into the sun?”

Celestia looked at me smugly. “Yes. It can’t be destroyed by anything in this dimension, but neither can any being ever reach it in the heart of the solar fires.”

I slowly nodded as I thought it over. That was a brilliant solution.

“What about the enchanted gems from Grogar’s collar?” Thorax asked.

Luna said, “Unlike the Bewitching Bell, they cannot steal any being’s magic and are much akin to all the other sorcerous weapons in Equestria’s armory such as the Alicorn Amulet. Verily, with the loss of the Elements of Harmony, we most sorely need replacements. I counsel that they be securely studied for the benefit of our nation.”

“I agree with my sister,” Celestia said. “It has been quite obvious that the magitek devices and other enchanted weapons helped win the day.”

They looked at me and I shrugged. “Don’t ask me about magical artifacts – I’m the idiot who lost the Bewitching Bell, remember? However, if Twilight and Trixie think it’s a good idea, I’ll back them.”

Affirming nods from my co-rulers seemed to settle that debate.

“And now,” Twilight said, turning towards my wife, “there’s one last thing to take care of. The Alicorn Amulet, please, Trixie.” She held up the artifact’s jewelry casket.

My wife’s eyes glowed red and she grinned and chuckled. “Trixie has enjoyed using its power. Perhaps she should keep it. Then everypony will know who truly is the Greatest and Most Powerful!”

Twilight and the Royal Sisters tensed up and lit their horns.

I poked my wife in the ribs with the edge of my hoof. “Knock it off, Lulu. Now’s not the time.”

She winced and then pouted. “You’re spoiling the climax to Trixie’s greatest performance, Dowser.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You say every new performance is your greatest.”

“Indeed. You understand me well.” She sighed, levitated the amulet from around her neck, and placed it in the waiting box. “Trixie said she could control it this time and you all doubted her. Never underestimate her Great and Steadfast Will again!”

One thing that I liked about becoming an alicorn was that I had grown bigger and matched my spouse’s height. With the power of the Alicorn Amulet imbuing her, she had grown a little taller than me again. Now that she had relinquished it, she should have resumed her normal stature. She didn’t.

My wife tilted her head and furrowed her brow. “Why are you staring at Trixie like that, Titlark Knells?”

“Love, can you feel the earth power still?”

She frowned for a moment before her eyes opened wide and her mouth gaped. “I… I can!”

Trixie had to be flabbergasted to forget to use third-person. I embraced my wife. “It seems you have been judged worthy and ascended to full alicornhood. Congratulations, you’re bigger than me again.”

“Trixie thinks you mean Greater and More Powerful,” she replied with a grin.

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

She did. Lengthily. When we finally parted, Thorax, Twilight, Celestia, and Luna added their congratulations in a lot less intimate way.

When everyone was done, I said, “Time to go back to Canterlot and get to work. We have the aftermath of this battle to contend with, especially a few prisoners of war.”

It was a much more sober group that stepped through the daggerscale portal that Twilight opened to Canterlot Castle.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Whew! This was a complex and difficult chapter which is why it took a while to complete. Hell of a long cliffhanger. Sorry about the wait.

Be honest – how many of you truly thought that the good guys had screwed up and how many figured out it was a trick? Bear in mind that everything that they discussed during preparation and planning when they weren't absolutely sure of not being spied upon was treated as if the enemy was listening. Misinformation was a key element in this campaign and Mark wasn't about to make another unforced error of judgement.

Art by AmarthGul

Chapter 95 - After the Battle

I had my injured legs and wing attended to and we all took some time to freshen up a little after coming from the battlefield. While there were several tasks to be accomplished urgently, one of the most important duties of the Triarchy was to maintain the morale of those under them. Turning up dirty and disheveled from deadly combat was not conducive to that. So, a few minutes spent applying a cleaning spell, changing into formal attire, and brushing our manes and tails were worth the delay, especially now that the enemy was defeated and we had the time to spare.

Due to choosing the battlefield, we had no reconstruction to do as we had after the Storm King’s invasion. While the countryside could heal naturally on its own, a little magical assistance from earth ponies would help speed the process. That is, after the diamond dog teams filled in the chasms and pit traps, especially those hidden just under the surface.

Ensuring that all the returning injured got immediate care was Trixie’s first task. After Twilight got back from securing the Alicorn Amulet and Grogar’s enchanted jewels, she set about re-establishing the portal links so that our interdimensional allies could go home. That made me the odd-Triarch-out with no immediate emergency to attend to. I went to the throne room but it was empty, which was definitely a first. Other than my two bodyguards, that left me alone with my thoughts.

Normally, Diadem would help me prioritize my next task. I winced at that thought just as Shining Armor came through the main doors.

I quickly straightened up and tried to lighten the mood. “Aha! So there is someone looking for me! Good to know!”

My attempt at humor fell flat. My friend trotted up to me and put a hoof on my withers. “I saw your face when I came in, Mark. Believe me, it’s a look I’ve seen before. Now would be a good time to go see Cadance and just… talk.”

I looked down and pursed my lips. Softly, I said, “I don’t know. It just feels selfish taking care of myself when there are—”

“Prince Mark Wells!”

I looked up to see a soldier glide in for a landing and fire off a quick salute.

The pegasus mare said, “I’m Corporal Wingover, sir. General Crushing Blow respectfully requests you return to the site of the engagement. There are matters of policy that require a Triarch to resolve.”

I smirked and looked at my friend. “Duty calls.” I nodded to the messenger and cantered after her.

Behind me I heard, “For now. Make this a priority for when you get free, Mark.”

#

I re-emerged from the portal and a dozen questions came at me at once. After Crimson and Penumbra forced everyone into a line, I could concentrate on one issue at a time.

Where should the Storm King’s armor be kept? Take it to Twilight’s castle.

Should the breathing but unresponsive yeti warlord be taken to a hospital or straight to the dungeon? Dungeon after a physician examined him in the field.

Which was the higher priority: returning allied troops to their capitals by daggerscale portal or ensuring every injury requiring specialist care got transported to the appropriate hospital? The latter.

What souvenirs, if any, could be collected by the warriors from Griffonstone? As many pieces of fallen timberwolves as they wanted. Individually or as a whole, they would not reanimate…. Probably.

By the time I answered the last question an hour or so later, the battlefield was almost unrecognizable. All the surviving beasts gathered peacefully in a field to the south. For some, their placidity was a result of the bindings on their bodies. The gigantic ants and spiders were a prime example of this. Fluttershy darted among the monsters, staying well out of reach but talking to each in turn. As I watched, a daggerscale portal opened to the Everfree Forest. As soon as their magical chains faded away, the three cragadiles wasted no time shuffling through back to their home. Shortly afterward, Steven Magnet slithered up to give Fluttershy a gentle hug. In return, she hoofed over something to him. Squinting, I recognized it as a small stick. The sea serpent gave me a friendly wave before using that hand to lead his wife, Lucky, through the portal.

The Element of Kindness looked my way and smiled. She swooped to the ground to pick up a cage then flew over.

Fluttershy alighted next to me. “Mark! I’ve never met so many new creatures in my life! This is just so wonderful!” She opened the small cage and gently scratched the chin of its occupant with one of her primaries. “All thanks to Mr. Dimples here. He slept through all the excitement but I’m sure he loved helping out all his new friends!”

The snake certainly appeared to be grinning at the attention the pegasus paid to him. Then he let out a fang-filled yawn and settled down again.

I said, “Umm. Yes. Indeed. Thank you for your help, Mr. Dimples.” It was no use. The snake seemed to be asleep again.

I looked into the pegasus mare’s eyes. “Fluttershy, why did you give a stick to Steven Magnet? Was that a piece of a timberwolf?”

“Of course! That was a piece of Fifi.”

“Fifi?”

“You know, ‘Fifi.’ The alpha timberwolf. He can’t regenerate himself back in the Everfree Forest without a seed… uh… stick. I needed to send a piece of him back.”

I scrunched my muzzle to the side in thought. “Whyyyyyyyyy?”

The butter-yellow mare sighed. “Fifi is just the nicest thing once you get to know him. Zecora and I have Fifi nearly convinced not to ever attack ponies again. Honestly, his only bad trait is that once he starts talking, he just doesn’t want to stop. Can’t find anyone to listen to him, the poor dear.”

I looked to Penumbra for support but my bodyguard seemed to find something high overhead to be far more interesting. Up to me, then.

“But wouldn’t the Everfree be a safer place without the alpha?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, not really. Then another timberwolf would become their leader, and... well... all but the youngest are mean. Besides, Zecora and I spoil Fifi with gifts. The puppy in him really comes out when you give him a treat.”

I almost hated to ask. “What kind of treat?”

She lowered her voice. “Well, I suppose I can tell you. It’s not like he asked me to keep it a secret. Fifi loves anything made of wood from other countries – the more exotic the better! I have a standing order for crate scraps from the customs offices in Fillydelphia, Manehatten, and Vanhoover. Zecora gets ingredients from all over Equus and saves the boxes. Fifi will have to leave behind his stick collection on the island he was exiled to, so now he’ll have to start over. I’m sure the two of us can get him to finally come around. ”

I blinked. “So… no more timberwolf attacks?”

Her ears drooped. “Well… not exactly. I trust Fifi to keep his promises, but the rest of them aren’t smart enough to do so.” Her ears pricked forward and her smile returned. “But isn’t it wonderful to have another friend, especially one in such a dangerous place?”

I sighed. “I’ll defer to your expertise on the matter. Thanks for explaining.”

“No problem!”

A changeling royal guard came up and saluted. “General Fluttershy!” Wait, since when did that happen? Oh, right. The one-day commission made it easier for her to order our troops around.

For her part, the Element of Kindness jumped a bit. After giving me an apologetic glance, she said, “Oh, umm… yes?”

“The cyclops is getting unruly again. Also, the lonely chimera keeps asking… inappropriate questions.”

“I’ll be right there.” The pegasus mare handed me the cage. “Duty calls!” She gave me a cheeky salute then took to the sky.

After looking over my charge (still sleeping), I hoofed him over to Crimson Boulder. Time to focus on other responsibilities.

A graveyard filled part of the field to the north. I had refused the requests of a zebra shaman and minotaur supervisor to transport their dead back to their home countries. For now, everybeing that perished would share this burial ground with no distinction for the race interned on either side. The wooden marker for a sphinx pierced the ground next to a hippogriff next to an earth pony followed by a changeling.

Rarity had volunteered to put together a team to design and build the cemetery. Her first order of business was to commission stonemasons to prepare four-foot-high obelisks to replace the wooden stakes. The first monument had already arrived and a team of ponies prepared the ground for its installation. They wouldn’t be the final grave markers, but as my herdmate had explained to me, “Honoring the ultimate sacrifice with a stick in the dirt shall absolutely not be tolerated one more second than necessary.” I heartily agreed.

I did concede that in one month, if the closest family member petitioned the Crown directly after visiting this hallowed site, the Triarchy would allow the remains to be disinterred. I hoped that by the time family came to visit, the respect Equestria held for their loved one would be evident by the grandeur of the memorial. Also, my military training sessions with Shining Armor taught me one thing every culture held in common: the concept of separating soldiers from their fallen comrades was complete anathema.

Four of our allies would be remembered for now with the same stone columns but would not be buried. Torch informed me that dragons considered underground to be their place of life. In death, they were immolated and returned to the sky, preferably surrounded by the corpses of their enemies slain in battle. For the dragons who died, they had a very impressive send-off, indeed.

After getting the pyre started with a minute-long exhale of his fire-breath, the ex-dragon lord settled back onto his haunches. He conversed freely with Timpani, who sat on his shoulder. That’s when I noticed a few things out of place. The dragon had not put the giant crustacean into the bonfire… and didn’t the oversized lobster used to be pink, not red? Also, that was the Canterlot Castle birdbath nestled comfortably in his right claws. At the direction of Timpani, the huge dragon set down the stone bowl where the Royal Chef Consommé directed members of his staff to levitate huge, waxy yellow blocks into the container. This was followed by several bags of garlic bulbs, a wheelbarrow of peppercorns, and a half-dozen salt licks. Torch then lifted the – for him – cup-sized container and blew a gentle stream of flame into it. The aroma wafted over to me, the most prominent smell being that of butter.

The dragon’s other hand broke a claw off of the crustacean with the sound of a tree snapping in half. Belatedly, I realized Torch had cooked it during the battle with his fiery breath. Conveniently, the shape of the claw was perfect for smashing and stirring the contents of the birdbath. After a couple of minutes, Timpani guided Torch through the delicate process of freeing the meat from the claw. After dipping, the huge dragon chewed his morsel for a long time. Eventually, he let out a sound halfway between a purr and an avalanche.

He smiled, showing every one of his fangs. “Little chef, you ponies are onto something. I will be asking for my body-weight payment in a different currency this time. You said there are more several more… dipping sauce recipes, did you call them?”

#

I was pretty much exhausted when I finally returned to Canterlot and I headed straight to my suite to have a long-overdue shower. My forehooves ached but that could wait until I could see a doctor later; I desperately wanted to wash the smell of the battlefield from me and clear my head. This was twice now that I had fought in a full-fledged battle – thrice if you count my first skirmish with Cozy Glow. It was something that I had to do, and something that I seemed fairly good at doing, judging by the results. It didn’t mean that I liked it. The death and destruction preyed on my mind despite knowing that Equestria was now safe. A long, hot soak under the shower wouldn’t cure that but it would do a lot to salve it for a while.

With effort, I pushed my dark thoughts away when entering my chambers. Steady Flight was there ready for me as expected, but it was the other person waiting with him who drew my attention. It took a moment to realize who I was staring at. Gallus stood there looking at me a little nervously but resolutely. He was clad in what appeared to be crystal armor which had stopped me from recognizing him right away. I had never seen the like but it nevertheless seemed familiar.

“Son?”

“Hi, Dad. I guess you’re wondering what all this is about.” He gestured at his armoring.

“You could say that. Want to talk about it?”

“Yeah. Got a moment?”

“For you? Always. Steady – would you get us some refreshments?”

“Sure, Mark. I’ll be back soon.”

When my valet had gone, I gestured toward some chairs. “Make yourself comfortable. Umm… are you going to keep that armor on?”

Gallus chuckled. “I guess not. I only left it on for you to see.”

To my surprise, it did not come off like regular armor. There was a bezel shaped like my cutie mark on his chest which he tapped. The crystalline structure began folding in on itself starting from the legs and working its way up his barrel. It also retreated from his head and down his neck until it all merged into a collar with only the bezel still conspicuously displayed. I blinked for a moment. “Well… that’s different. Where did you get your armor and why are you wearing it?”

Gallus settled into a chair that was facing me. “Dad – Ponyville was attacked.”

My ears shot up and my eyes widened as I gasped. “What?! Why wasn’t I told?”

“Trixie and Twilight know, but I asked them to let me tell you about it myself. Because the danger is past, they agreed.”

“Okay. So – what happened?”

“We don’t know for sure, but we think Cozy Glow wanted to get revenge on me and my friends for our part in upsetting her original plans. While you were engaged in your battle, she had Grogar send a pack of timberwolves to Ponyville to attack us. Those creatures were not very discriminate though and anyone who crossed their path while they were looking for us was a target.”

“Oh, no! And there was nobody there to protect you.” We had withdrawn every available resource for the big battle. Royal Guards who were normally stationed at Twilight’s castle were replaced with some of Thorax’s changelings to keep up appearances just as we had done everywhere else. These changelings were unsuited to combat but were excellent at maintaining the illusion that the situation was normal. However, when it came to the crunch, those bug-ponies were cooks or nurses or gardeners, not soldiers.

Gallus continued, “Fortunately, the townsponies only suffered a few brief attacks because the pack made a beeline for the School of Friendship. However, my friends and I weren’t at the school because several of the teachers were absent and we were given the day off.”

Considering how many of them were needed at the battle, that wasn’t surprising. “So – where were you?”

“We were at the Tree of Harmony’s cave. Me and my friends were trying to make some kind of memorial to it.”

I raised my eyebrows and gaped. “I thought that crystal in your armor looked familiar. It has the same magical living quality to it as the Tree. But how did you get it?”

Gallus asked, “Remember the Avatar of Harmony that you met in the tunnels under the school?” I nodded. “Those tunnels were made by the Tree and they connect from the cave to the school and castle. Most of the Tree exists below the ground now. The part in the cave where the Elements resided was all that was destroyed. The Tree is still very much alive and our efforts to honor it stimulated it to regrow. There’s a new Tree in the cave now – bigger and more impressive than the original. The Avatar of Harmony gave it to us because it told us we six were needed. It gave me this armor because it chose me to lead the defense of Ponyville.”

I stared at him, slightly shocked. “It chose six teenagers to defend a whole town?”

Gallus lifted his head proudly. “No, not just us. We were the inspiration for others to rally behind. I led the attacks but it was my friends and our schoolmates who used their abilities in cooperation that won the day. I drew the attention of the timberwolves and the armor protected me from their teeth and claws. It was scary but I knew it was the right thing to do. We stopped them, Dad. We smashed, broke, and burned every single one of them, and not one being got more than just a few scratches.”

My heart was thumping hard at the thought of what my adopted son and his friends had gone through. I took a moment to take a deep breath and slowly exhale to calm myself down. Then I got up from my chair and went over to Gallus. Before the surprised young griffon could react, I threw my forelegs around him and hugged him. “I’m proud of you, Son.”

He stiffened at first before relaxing and returning the hug. “Thanks, Dad.”

I drew back from him and smirked. “One thing you haven’t explained though is why you have my cutie mark emblazoned on your armor.”

He raised a foreleg and sheepishly scratched his head. “I guess it’s because I had decided to be your protector.”

I blinked. “What? Isn’t it my job to protect you?”

Gallus chuckled nervously. “I didn’t mean right now. I want to become a Royal Guard when I graduate. I’m going to be Captain of the Guard one day!”

I smiled. “And that would make you my official protector. Y’know, I believe that you will, Son. The Avatar of Harmony made a good choice.”

Gallus was the one who initiated the hug this time.

Neither of us noticed when Steady arrived pushing a trolley loaded with refreshments.

“Looks like I got here at the perfect time. Got you some muffins hot from the oven as well as your drinks.”

“Awesome!” Gallus said. “I’m starving!”

I chuckled. After the emotional rollercoaster of today, I think my appetite was finally coming back. “Thanks, Steady.”

We helped ourselves to drinks and food. The muffin was heavenly! I was three-quarters finished with it when a whine came from the corner of the room. I looked curiously in that direction and saw a box I had not noticed before. “What was that?”

Suddenly, Gallus looked guilty. “Umm… when I said we destroyed all of the timberwolves, that wasn’t quite 100% accurate.”

I raised an eyebrow, trotted over to the box, and looked inside. Two round glowing green eyes peered back at me, twig ears perked up, and a green leaf tongue lolled out of its mouth. The creature looked at me expectantly. I leaned back away from the animated conglomerate of sticks. “Gallus – why is there a timberwolf pup in my chambers?”

The griffon replied, “Cozy must have sent an entire family pack to Ponyville. After we finished burning the remains of the timberwolves, we found this one hiding in the bushes, waiting for its parents. I didn’t have the heart to kill it. So, I’m thinking of keeping it as a pet.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Are you nuts?”

He shook his head. “When I told Twilight, she was surprised too. But after she thought about it for a bit, she reckoned that timberwolves were a threat due to the dark magic that sustained them. She thought it might be possible to raise a young one with pony magic instead.”

I face-hoofed. Of course, Twilight would see it as a research challenge. I knew a fait accompli when I saw one. I sighed. “Okay, but Twiggy here stays at Twilight’s castle, not Canterlot. I don’t need some idiot noble starting a panic over a dangerous monster being let loose in the city.”

My son grinned. “Now that you’ve named him, he’s part of the family.”

I groaned. Me and my big mouth! “Take your pet home, Gallus. You might want to check with Zecora and Fluttershy to see if they know anything about the care and upkeep of timberwolves.”

“Okay, Dad. Seeya tomorrow!”

I headed for the bathroom, grumbling that I shouldn’t have had to deal with this part of being a parent so soon.

#

The next two days were spent addressing the worst part of the aftermath: consoling the bereaved loved ones. That part never got any easier. Fortunately, Celestia and Luna stepped up to help the Triarchs. Between the five of us, we paid personal visits to the families of each of the victims to extend our condolences. If their loss would cause them great hardship, we arranged for the Crown to provide relief. That was the easy part. Trying to explain to foals why their mother or father wasn’t coming home was the part that tore me up. Therefore, when it finally came time to deal with the ringleaders of the attempted takeover of our world, none of us had much sympathy to spare.

#

Grogar was the first to be brought before all three Triarchs with the Royal Sisters standing by our thrones. With the loss of Diadem, Celestia had offered to be my fill-in advisor until I could find a good replacement. I’m no fool – I accepted immediately. That didn’t stop me from missing Diadem though. Trixie and Twilight wanted me to sit, but I found I couldn’t do so for more than a few seconds. I knew from experience that meant I needed to talk to my counselor, Cadance. Speaking of whom, she stood with her husband and the Elements of Harmony in the first row of gathered beings. The Alicorn of Love caught my eye and gave me a meaningful stare. Sighing, I turned to look back at our prisoner. Taking care of me would have to wait a little longer.

Aside from nullstone bands around his horns, Grogar had a new collar; this one was welded around his neck. Not only did it suppress his magic, but it would also disable any enchanted objects in his possession. This was one sorcerous ‘mechanic’ who would not be using magic gems or anything else against anyone. Nevertheless, he still projected an air of strength and defiance.

Trixie spoke up. “Grogar – you stand accused of causing death and destruction in your attempts to conquer this and other worlds. How do you plead?”

The old ram laughed. “Guilty!”

Celestia said, “Do you have any regrets? My sister and I have fought you twice now and all you bring is misery.”

Grogar’s lip curled in a sneer. “What do I care? Don’t think you have won today because each time I learn more about your weaknesses. I will conquer you one day and you will all be my personal slaves.”

I said, “Or we could enact a permanent solution right now.”

There were shocked looks from the ponies gathered in the Throne Room although I noticed that there were some agreeing nods from other species.

Twilight frowned. “We’re not going to execute a helpless foe, Mark. I don’t know how you can even consider that.”

I could consider it because I used to be a human and, despite the years spent as a pony, I still thought like one occasionally. Nevertheless, I did not seriously intend to kill him. I just wanted to shake Grogar up a bit after all he had done. I wasn’t about to tell the old goat that though. It didn’t hurt that it also sent a message to the nobles that I was prepared to play hardball. Unfortunately, Grogar’s expression told me he had not been intimidated. He displayed unwavering dedication to his crusade.

I turned to my co-ruler. “If you’re not willing to take tough measures, then you had better have an excellent plan to deal with him, Twilight.”

“I do, actually. With Discord’s help, I have located Grogar’s home dimension and talked with its ruler, Scorpan, who says he will take responsibility for him.”

Grogar looked alarmed. “No! I will not submit to being relegated to the company of that insipid fool!”

My wife frowned. “Trixie does not believe we are giving you a choice.” She turned to look at our co-ruler. “However, Trixie wonders if that is the best alternative. Scorpan might eventually let us down.”

Twilight responded, “Tartarus has proven to be problematic and ineffective. Grogar is too dangerous to remain in our world, so sending him back to his home dimension is the best solution. That’s why he’s wearing that collar. Even if Grogar manages to garner sympathy, he will always be a helpless creature. That collar cannot be removed without killing its wearer unless you know the magic key. Not only is the key ridiculously complex, it isn’t recorded anywhere, so he’s stuck with it.”

Grogar’s face turned red with fury. “YOU CANNOT DENY ME MY DESTINY! I WILL DESTROY ALL YOU FOOLS! YOU’RE ALL GOING TO—”

I’d had enough. He was cut off as I cast a silence spell on him that I had learned to use on Cozy. “Take Grogar back to the dungeon until such time as he will be returned to his dimension,” I ordered.

The ram struggled and inaudibly protested, but he was nevertheless taken swiftly away.

Trixie cleared her throat to pull everyone’s attention back to her. “At the recommendation of the physician attending to the Storm King, he will not face judgment at this time. The yeti’s eyes and optic nerves were irreparably damaged and he is now permanently blind. Magic scans indicate he suffered no brain damage. Regardless, he has remained unresponsive to any outside stimulus.” The three Triarchs waited until the conversations died down.

“Bring in the next prisoner!” Twilight commanded.

Tirek hobbled in, supported by a crutch due to his broken leg. While his cannon bone had been set, nothing had been done to enhance the speed at which it healed. Equestria did not owe him anything but the most basic duty of care. The magic-blocking manacles that he wore also hindered the speed at which he approached.

When he reached the dais, Trixie said, “Lord Tirek, on multiple occasions, you have acted to the detriment of Equestria, causing death and suffering. Tartarus has proven an ineffective form of restraint and punishment. It is also clear that you are hopelessly addicted to consuming magic. We, therefore, feel that you cannot be redeemed and remain a threat to the peoples of this world. You will be exiled along with Grogar to your home dimension.”

Tirek sneered at us. “You dragged me up here just to tell me that?”

I chuckled and the centaur frowned at me. “What’s so funny?”

I shook my head. “Oh, it’s not funny at all, really. Look around you. Do you know how many of those gathered here lost loved ones due to your actions both today and on your previous rampage? Do you know how many of them want revenge? If you ever return, you are officially fair game. Equestria declares you a vexatious Enemy of the State and formally withdraws all legal protections from you. Those Royal Guards currently surrounding you are now there to save you from any being who wants to slit your throat without any consequences. Not a few of the Guards themselves would happily do so if they were not bound by our command to keep you safe until we banish you.”

Tirek’s look of shock was gratifying, and he seemed lost for words.

“Take the prisoner away and bring the next in,” Trixie ordered.

Cozy Glow was brought in, manacled to a burly earth pony Royal Guard. The mare was formidable in the brains department but, without the enhancement of stolen power, rather pathetic in the brawn. Ground Quake didn’t even blink at Cozy’s attempts to clobber him with her manacled hooves. The midget pegasus’ inaudible tantrum had finally abated and she merely glared at us.

Twilight lifted the silence spell on her and said, “Of all our foes, you are the one who distressed me most, Cozy Glow. Unlike Tirek and Grogar, you are an Equestrian and one whom I thought would understand the joy of friendship and harmony. Yet you have twice now tried to conquer this land without any consideration for the lives of other ponies, let alone all the other species that live in peace with us.”

The look she gave the purple alicorn was anything but contrite. “And I would have succeeded this time if that idiot Grogar hadn’t ignored me when I suspected a trap.”

I said, “You have proven yourself to be an implacably ambitious and power-hungry enemy. Unlike the others, banishment is not a solution available to us. We suspect that you would be able to figure out a way back anyway.”

She smirked at me. “Glad to see that your dim mind can see that, Prince Wells. In fact, nothing you can do will prevent me from taking over Equestria someday. None of you are smart enough to stop me, and you won’t be so lucky next time.”

I nodded. “You’re right, so we’ve arranged something special for you. Cozy Glow, you are sentenced to indefinite special confinement.”

She frowned. “What the buck does that me—”

I cut her off with the silence spell. “Take Cozy back to her cell until the sentence is carried out,” I commanded.

Let her wonder what the punishment was. Telling her would have ruined it anyway. Dealing with the genius midget was always going to be problematic. It was Luna who came up with the solution with a little help from the changelings. When Cozy fell asleep, Luna would use her dream-walking power to enter the mare’s dreamscape. There, the Moon Princess would spin a tale of escape from confinement and resumption of her plans to conquer Equestria. Luna would lock Cozy in this dream state and her body placed into a changeling pod where she would be sustained for her natural life. She would realize her dream of ruling our world virtually, while the real Equestria would never have to deal with the sociopathic mare ever again.

After the doors closed behind Cozy Glow, we waited for the Sergeant-at-Arms to call for order. Then Trixie’s horn lit up and an illusion grew within the Throne Room. Dark thunderclouds lined the ceiling and the sunlight through the windows dimmed to match the gloomy atmosphere. Lightning appeared to flicker, adding to the sense of imminent danger. The audience stirred with confusion and a little trepidation. Trixie stood up, a scowl on her face. I knew what was coming although the special effects were a mild surprise. My wife was externalizing just how pissed off we were about the next order of business.

Trixie waited until she was certain that she had the rapt attention of everyone in the room before she spoke. “Equestria has suffered due to the ambitions of Grogar and his cohorts, and yet there remain some beings whose actions are even viler. I speak of those who would conspire with the enemy for their own ambitions – traitors for whom power was more important than the welfare of their fellow ponies. The Triarchy had been puzzled as to the source of some of the leaks of information to the enemy. Sadly, we found them. Guards! Arrest Lord Jet Set and Lady Opulent Affair!”

It was remarkable how quickly the nobles started distancing themselves from the two accused who immediately began protesting their innocence. The Royal Guards had been forewarned and had no difficulty taking them into custody and hauling them up to the dais.

Trixie glared at them for a moment before saying, “The Crown formally charges Lord Jet Set and Lady Opulent Affair with espionage and treason.”

“This is ridiculous!” Jet Set thundered. “You are using the conflict with Grogar as an excuse to get us out of the way because we dispute the positions of power that you usurped from Princess Celestia and Princess Luna!”

Duke Blueblood stepped forward from where he had been waiting by the dais and spoke in his cultured tone. “If only that was the case. Anypony is free to hold the opinion that my aunts should return to the throne. Yet that was clearly not enough for you two. You spoke to myself and several other nobles about establishing a government ‘of ponies and ruled by ponies’ – not alicorns, and excluding our other citizen species and allies. Doubtless, Grogar hinted that you two would lead Equestria into a glorious future of your own vision.”

My assessment of the duke had risen dramatically lately. Marriage had obviously been life-changing to the unicorn. I said, “Blueblood passed the information on to us and we sent diamond dogs to your houses. There, they found the telltale smell of blood quartz, cheddarshrooms, and feldspar. That was the exact same combination of scents that let Councilor Anticline positively identify the cavern we saw when Chrysalis opened a portal to Grogar’s hideout.”

I heard a huffing noise from nearby. I turned to see the old diamond dog glaring at me. “As if any diamond dog worth their weight in gems wouldn’t know exactly where to find all of those underground.” He walked up to the two nobles and sniffed. “You are still wearing the same clothing from your meeting with the ram. His stench almost overpowers that from the cave.”

Twilight said, “In response to your accusation, Lord Jet Set, you are wrong on all counts. Look around this room. What do you see? Changeling and griffon Royal Guards. Diamond dog and hippogriff allies. Zebra and minotaur citizens. The idea of ‘Equestria is only for ponies’ is dead. However, you and Lady Affair will have a chance to defend yourselves in a Court of Law. Princess Luna has volunteered to preside in judgment over the case. As you have just acknowledged that Luna holds her authority legitimately, I gather that you won’t object to her being the judge for your case?”

Jet Set opened his mouth again but Opulent Affair hissed, “Shut up!” to him. She was obviously the smarter of the two.

The noble stallion wasn’t listening. He sneered at Twilight and Trixie. “Alicorns? Triarchs? You are all hypocrites. You three squandered so many pony lives to prevent a dimension traveler like Grogar from leading Equestria…”

Uh-oh. I had a bad feeling about this.

Jet Set pointed a hoof at me. “… yet you allow another invader from the hee-yoo-mane realm to sit on the throne!”

Most every being in the chamber gasped and looked at me with wide eyes. Every being except for Discord whose flat visage occupied the nearest stained-glass window. He just frowned, rolled his eyes, and continued making his two-dimensional yo-yo do tricks.

I started thinking quickly. There was no point in denying it. What could I say to my subjects to convince them to accept me?

Trixie’s voice cut through the silence. “So?”

Jet Set gaped. “Mark Wells was not born a pony! He came here—” The stallion’s words cut off as Trixie’s light purple magic encased his head. Jet Set’s mouth moved, but no words came out.

Twilight came up to my side. “Mark Wells is a citizen of Equestria and is due all the rights and privileges that come with it. Where he was born makes no difference.”

Celestia walked to Twilight’s side, “Just as it makes no difference whether an Equestrian is a pony, griffon, changeling, zebra, minotaur, diamond dog, draconequus or other species.” Discord’s gaze left his yo-yo and he glanced at the dais. He smiled and disappeared from the stained glass window and I heard something land behind me. I felt a large paw placed on my withers.

Luna came up to Trixie’s other side. “Harken. Hast there been any being more vexed with the warding of fair Equestria against its foes? Chrysalis, Tirek, the Pony of Shadows, Grogar, twice Cozy Glow and the Storm King. Who brought these blackguards low, leaving our country safe? For each enemy thrown at Equestria, Mark Wells hath proven Harmony correct for bringing him here. Make no mistake, for I believe Harmony itself hath provided this stallion before you to protect Our Little Ponies when your former rulers could not.”

Trixie raised her wings which Celestia, Luna, and Twilight immediately followed. My wife said, “Equestria stands with Mark Wells with the same conviction, fortitude, and unending love that Mark Wells has for Equestria!”

Luna’s voice boomed out over the crowd. “WHAT SAY YE?”

As one, everybeing erupted in cheers, chitters, whoops, hoof-stomps, and various forms of applause.

I smiled, my eyes getting blurry with tears of joy. As the cacophony rolled on and on, I realized that I needed to respond in kind. With a sharp snap of my wings, I raised mine to mingle with those of the other alicorns.

The wave of sound hit me like a gale-force wind and nearly knocked me onto my back hooves. Discord’s paw tightened and I got my balance back. Trixie quickly scrambled back to my side.

Twilight excitedly yelled into my ear, “What you just felt was the Magic of Harmony! If you weren’t sure before, you most certainly now have been acknowledged as a leader of Equestria!”

Water leaked freely from my eyes. There was no denying it… I was home.

After a few minutes, the noise died down. We all lowered our wings and the Royal Sisters stepped back to a spot behind the Triarchs. An upside-down Discord walked down steps in thin air until he reached his fountain on the ceiling. He melted into the bottom basin then his body parts began cycling out of the sprayer on top. That was new.

That left us with the unfinished and unpleasant task of dealing with Lord Jet Set and Lady Opulent Affair. I anticipated that the case would be hard-fought with high-priced lawyers. At best, though, they might get a reduced sentence because the evidence against them was damning.

Trixie said, “Take the prisoners away!” She then seated herself once more and dispelled the illusion with a wave of her wing. I reckon that the display had etched itself firmly into the minds of the audience and emphasized that she took her role as Princess quite seriously. It certainly was a spectacular indication of her power.

While Twilight had considered Cozy to be her biggest failure, she had merely been a particularly nasty evil person to me. It was our final prisoner that caused me the most heartache. Chrysalis had sent a message with a guard demanding that the full list of charges be read to her in front of the Royal Court. While we had already intended to bring her here like the other three, something told me that there was more to this than met the eye, so I asked that she be made the final order of business. That would give us as much time to deal with her as would be required. At a nod from me, a guard left to bring Chrysalis in from the antechamber next to the throne room.

Lieutenant Penumbra entered first, then the deposed changeling queen, and lastly Crimson Boulder. Both of my bodyguards were in full Royal Guard armor for this occasion. Penny and Crimson moved to flank Chrysalis on either side… at least I thought it was Chrysalis. Almost nothing remained of her mane and tail hairs. She carried a loosely braided ring of sparkling blue yarn… no, that was her missing hair. I suddenly remembered an offer I made to the changeling queen.

Uh, oh.

The hairs on my neck stood up and I leaned to my right. Perhaps I could shuffle away unnoticed?

“Come,” ordered Trixie as she descended the dais to stand on the marble floor. Her tone of voice brooked no argument so I followed.

Before us, Chrysalis laid her offering on the floor while genuflecting in a pose of absolute supplication. “I, Chrysalis, Former Queen of the Crystal Hive, formally request acceptance into the herd of Princess Beatrix Lulamoon. I swear to follow the orders of my senior herdmares. Further, I pledge to uphold the laws of Equestria both in letter and in spirit. With the Triarchs as my witnesses, I dedicate my life to the service of the citizens of Equestria.”

I think nearly every pony in the audience gasped. Chrysalis had sworn these oaths without any preconditions. Her pride would hold her to these for the rest of her life.

Slowly, Trixie turned her head to face me. If her thunderous expression didn’t clue me into her mood, her next words did. “Pockmark Hells – explain!”

I tried to put on a reassuring smile. I doubt that I succeeded.

“Well… you see… dear.” Trixie’s eyes narrowed even further. Probably not a good idea to dawdle. “Some time ago, Chrysalis demanded that I provide my seed as partial payment for her attending the Council of Queens. I told her that only members of my… of our herd had that right.”

My wife appeared entirely unconvinced. “And…?”

“Well… I explained how new herd members would be oath-bound to follow the orders of their seniors.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Penumbra tilt her head slightly before recovering. “I followed this up by saying the first order would be to cut off her mane and tail hairs.”

“My ‘disgracefully messy mane and tail hairs,’ ” quoted Chrysalis from her position near the floor.

“Uh… yes.” Reading my wife’s mood, I doubted this correction did me any favors.

The silence stretched out for some time. I resisted the urge to tug at my collar.

Trixie said, “And you did not feel it necessary to inform the lead mare of your herd? Trixie thought she had you trained better than this.”

Maybe if I redoubled my efforts to smile?

My wife said, “And why did Trixie not learn about this in the daily prisoner reports that she so diligently reads every evening?”

Ahhh. Nope. Don’t think my smile will help here. “Well, there were… personal matters discussed that required discretion. I ordered the guards to keep everything confidential.”

“That’s true,” said Twilight. Regis’ ability to shadow-walk was common knowledge among those who worked in the castle, but no official announcement had been made yet.

My wife’s stare continued unabated. Eventually, she said, “Trixie sees,” with the clear implication that she was not sympathetic to my point of view.

She turned back to her supplicant. “Rise, Chrysalis.” The changeling queen did so, holding her chin high.

“While it is not proper for the lead stallion to set the conditions for a mare to enter a herd…” I flinched. “…Trixie finds your petition to be valid and made in good faith. You have my provisional acceptance, pending the fulfillment of your obligations to Equestria. However, Trixie could not help but notice that the second part of your pledge was nearly identical to the oaths sworn by the Triarchs.”

“Yes, that was my intention.”

Direct and to the point. Regardless of appearances, that aspect of Chrysalis had remained the same.

My wife turned to Penny. “Lieutenant Penumbra. Please inform the Crown how the petitioner ended up in this state.”

My herdmate stepped forward. “Yes, Your Highness. Lieutenant Crimson Boulder and I were guarding the prisoner just outside of the throne room while Grogar received his sentence…”

#

Something was up. Chrysalis was acting strangely, even for her. Did she seem… anxious?

The changeling queen looked at me. “Mutated pegasus, how sharp is your knife?”

I glared. “First of all, I’m a batpony. Second, stop trying to manipulate my emotions.”

She waved a hoof. “My apologies. Assuming your weapon is up to the task, I want you to cut off the hairs of my mane and tail.”

Crimson and I just stared. Chrysalis continued. “I give you my word I will not attempt to harm either of you or escape. I just need this to be done now and I have no means of doing so myself.” After a deep breath, she added, “Please. I would consider this a personal favor.”

I shared a look with Crimson. There were plenty of other guards watching us, so escape was never an issue. Besides, she had already promised not to resist or flee, which was the only reason she did not wear manacles or wing-binders right now. The nullstone rings around her horn stayed. Only so much trust would be given. I said, “I’m not a hairdresser or a barber. It would be a hatchet job of a mane and tail cut.”

The queen nodded. “As it should be.”

I smirked. “Well, since you asked nicely.”

Keeping my body out of reach of her rear hooves, I proceeded to slice the tail hairs off of her dock. Then I removed her mane, grabbing a clump at a time. I focused on efficiency, not eye-pleasing results, just as Her Majesty had requested. Not thirty seconds after I started, piles of hair rested on the floor all around her.

“Thank you,” said Chrysalis as she bent down. She gathered up the remains while I stepped back and sheathed my knife. Unfortunately, there was quite a bit of hair and one bit or another kept slipping off of her hoof.

“Really, youngster? I thought you would have planned this out better.” I turned to see a familiar elderly mare. Reef Knot shook her head. “So disappointing.”

I addressed the de-facto leader of the Canterlot Castle Knitting Club. “One moment! How exactly did you sneak up on me?” The earth pony brushed her way past like I didn’t exist.

Crimson stepped forward. “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s no—”

Reef Knot jumped forward, getting into my partner’s face, shouting out a high-pitched “Eh! Eh! Eh!”

The hulking stallion backpedaled quickly, his eyes wide.

I chortled. “What’s wrong? Is dealing with your elders outside your pay grade?”

He shook his head. “No. She just sounded exactly like my mom when she was displeased with me.”

I gave that some thought. “Huh. Mine, too.”

Meanwhile, the elderly mare had picked up a small number of strands. With a quick twist of her hooves, she knotted one end. With practiced speed, Reef Knot rolled the hair in her hooves, a tightly braided string emerging underneath. “Chrysalis, dear – you can’t carry around free-hanging strands like that.” With another twist of her hooves, she held up a ten-hoof’s-length long piece of sparkling blue twine tied off on both ends.

“The trick is to use the friction of the strands to your benefit.” As she spoke, she set the string on the floor and laid out the remaining hair to trail away at a right angle. Once that was done, she tied off the top few inches of free hair with three loops and knots of the string.

Reef Knot pointed at Crimson. “Oaf! Get over here and make yourself useful. Stand on the knotted end to provide tension.” When he didn’t comply fast enough for her liking, she added, “Hup to it! I don’t have all day!”

The guardsman glanced at me before dutifully walking over and placing a forehoof at the appointed spot.

The elderly mare continued her explanation as her forehooves moved a bit slower this time. “Just layer in the strands gradually as you braid.”

Chrysalis craned her neck. “I see. That way you don’t have any clumps peeking out of the braid.”

“That’s right, dear.”

The main weave was much larger and looser than the one used for the string. Reef Knot looped the far end around until it lay next to the end Crimson stood on. A few impatient jabs of her hoof on his pastern convinced him to back away.

“Three more knotted loops… and… done!” She held out the coil of braided hair to the changeling queen. Chrysalis took it with a nod and opened her mouth to say something. Reef Knot wasn’t quite done. “Now you go out and convince that stallion of what he already knows.”

Chrysalis bowed her head then gave the elderly mare a brief nuzzle. “Thank you, Nana.”

Reef Knot smiled for the first time. “Go make me proud, youngling.” That turned to a scowl that moved Crimson out of her path. The elderly mare trotted down the corridor without another word.

#

As Penny finished her retelling, my wife tapped her hoof against the floor, her eyes distant.

“Chrysalis, you will inform us of your actions during the battle.”

The changeling queen nodded respectfully. “Yes, Your Highness. Soon after the fighting started, Grogar commanded me to procure one of your communication systems so he could listen in on your strategy. Of course, I had no intention of following his orders. I took flight and turned invisible, searching for a suitable place to wait. I found it thirty feet behind yourself. Your emotions proved intense enough to detect at a distance.”

“From that location on the invisible hill, I could easily survey the battlefield, redirecting any threats to your person as needed. After tying a couple of juvenile tatzlwurms into knots, I looked up to see Princess Diadem hurtling through the air and Prince Mark teleporting behind the Storm King.”

I winced before Chrysalis continued.

“By the time I found a clear spot to which I could teleport, Mark Wells had already defeated the yeti.”

Twilight said, “And then you tried to kill him.”

The changeling queen snapped her head to look at the lavender mare. “Don’t…”

Chrysalis stopped and closed her mouth. When she tried again, her tone of voice was respectful. “No, Hive Mother. Simply killing the Storm King would not be sufficient. It was no accident that I used red hot metal to cauterize his wounds. Yetis value strength above all else. Sickly children are left to die in the snow. The battle for succession of a clan is always strewn with death. Now the Storm King has been reduced to below the weakest of yetis. He will live in that state for the rest of his days.”

Hushed whispers broke out among the ponies and other beings present.

Trixie’s voice cut through the noise. “And now you wish to join the herd of the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

Chrysalis nodded. “My talks with Postgena and her world’s Cadance helped me realize how short-sighted my plans were. My original goal to elevate my future hive above all other creatures flew in the face of reality. The Triarchy gained new allies by the month. Harmony between races had become reality, leaving me behind. Cady encouraged me to abandon the last obligation of my old life, which I refused to do.” The changeling queen shifted her gaze to look at me. “Instead, my sister and Cady helped me craft goals for my next life. That including the one stallion that I saw as worthy of my… respect.”

I blinked, awash in conflicting emotions. As I tried to sort through them, I heard Discord’s voice in my ear. “Quite the emotional rollercoaster for you today, Marcus.” He wasn’t kidding.

My wife said, “That dimension’s Cadance should have informed the Triarchy of this.”

I said, “No she shouldn’t. Patient-counselor confidentiality.” That earned me a displeased glare.

Twilight stepped down from the dais to join us. “Trixie, did you see those two tatzlwurms that the prisoner referred to?”

“Yes, along with several other monsters being stopped or redirected before they reached the hill where Trixie was stationed. At the time, Trixie assumed her guard detail was responsible. In hindsight, the strength of the magic used makes that unlikely.”

Twilight said, “You provided aid and comfort to the enemy by stealing the Bewitching Bell for Grogar.”

The changeling queen waved a dismissive hoof. “That bauble made no difference in the battle. All it served to do was convince the foolish goat that he was powerful enough to guarantee victory. I strongly recommended he launch his attack immediately over Cozy Glow’s vague misgivings. I may have lied slightly when I described your emotions as entirely genuine, Your Highness.” Chrysalis bowed to Trixie before continuing.

“I thought you would have surmised my true allegiance from East Wind’s report. I refused to harm her so that the pegasus could provide you with a wealth of tactical information on our common foe. I even arranged for a demonstration of the more complicated aspects of Grogar’s magic: How he bypasses magic barriers.”

I said, “Even if the Triarchy rules that your actions protecting my wife offset your theft of the Bewitching Bell for Grogar, that still leaves you with outstanding debts to Equestria.”

Twilight motioned with a hoof. “Cadance and Shining Amor are right over there. If you truly are on the path of reform, you can start by apologizing to them.”

“No,” replied Chrysalis. She held out a hoof to Crimson Boulder. Without hesitation, the earth pony reached into his saddlebag and passed her a scroll. “There are thirty pony families I need to talk to first. Priority over prerogative.” The changeling queen held the scroll to her chest. “By your leave.”

Trixie replied, “Granted.”

Chrysalis bowed to all three Triarchs before turning around. Penumbra and Crimson Boulder escorted her out the same way she came in.

Twilight announced, “The Triarchs of Equestria declare this trial to be concluded. May you all go in Harmony.”

Cadance and Shining Armor came up to me, both smiling. The stallion punched me in the shoulder and laughed. “So, Mark. Anything interesting happen today?”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding. “And then some. Not at all sure how I feel about some of it.”

Cadance pulled me into a hug. I wanted to reciprocate but couldn’t make myself do so.

She pulled back. “Mark, you deserve a chance to relax and get everything off your chest.”

I shook my head. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready. I have to take out the trash first.”

#

The portal room was quite crowded due to the number of guards, but we were not taking any chances with our prisoners. A new portal had been activated to Grogar’s home dimension with the coordinates that Discord had supplied and, after confirming that Scorpan was ready to take him into custody, the old goat was unceremoniously shoved through. Then it was Tirek’s turn.

I levitated the key to his nullstone manacles to him, encased in a ball of ice so cold that it was as hard as steel. Only the insulated glove that I had given Tirek prevented him from getting freeze burns. The centaur’s other hand gripped his crutch tightly. I said, “You are being exiled to your home dimension and are not to return under penalty of death. Do you understand?”

The wizened centaur gave me a condescending smile. “Do you truly think that you can enforce that?”

I smirked. “Oh, I think so. Let me activate those for you.” I tapped the medallion that hung around my neck and two loud beeps came from within Tirek’s body.

He gave me an alarmed look. “What have you done?”

“Your last meal contained a couple of very special ingredients. Two pills have now attached themselves somewhere in your digestive system. They are designed to absorb Equestrian magic until they explode – the more magic, the bigger the explosion.” At Tirek’s horrified expression, I gave him my biggest fake smile. I raised my shield, saying, “The process has already started. I suggest you run. Don’t want to make a mess in here.”

Tirek didn’t hesitate to hobble through the portal as quickly as he could. I immediately shut it down and smashed it with a blast from my horn. There would be no returning through that particular way.

Penny looked at me curiously. “Is that really true?”

I dropped my shield and laughed. Facing Penumbra, I touched my medallion again. Two beeps came from Penny’s barrel. “I picked this up from a vendor during the last Winter Wrap-up festival. It’s a foal’s sound-throwing joke charm. I expect Tirek will go through many rounds of excruciating probes and examinations trying to find his pills, though.”

A smile slowly crept across my bodyguard’s face. Penny patted me on the head. “My young Padawan of Pranks has finally grown up.”

Thanks to Twilight’s Speak-and-See crystals, Penny and Crimson had watched the ‘Element of Harmony’ edition of the Star Wars saga. I smiled. “Oh, so I'm finally a Jedi Master now?”

“No. Don't presume yourself to be on my level. You have successfully reached the rank of Apprentice... Third Class.”

Eh. I’ll take it.

#

Two days later, Ponyville was the scene of celebration and Pinkie Pie was doing what she did best – throwing a party! She insisted that it had to be a doozy not only because of our victory over the villains, but also to congratulate Gallus and his friends for saving the town from the timberwolves. What made it a little uncomfortable for me was that the pink mare was making it very plain that she was also celebrating the latest mare to join my herd. It bothered the party pony not in the slightest that Chrysalis used to be an enemy. The only satisfaction that I got from it was that the changeling queen looked as uncomfortable with the situation as me.

Chrysalis had insisted on accompanying me to the celebration. All her co-mates would be there and she would not be ignored or overlooked. And while she made a few ponies nervous, the locals were nowhere near as concerned as the citizens of Canterlot had been. Ponyville had not experienced the original changeling invasion. Some found her sparkling wings and mane (what there was left of it) to be quite exotic. Those weren’t as garishly colorful as Thorax’s evolved changelings but fascinating in their own way.

Of course, I couldn’t leave it at just that. “Say, Chrysalis. Don’t you just looooove these cupcakes? And don’t you looooove the party today? Why don’t you just admit to everypony how much you looooove me and all of your herdmates?” Each time, I would glance back at her carapace and give a theatrical sigh of disappointment.

The changeling queen sniffed. “Do not try to be clever, my stallion. I will not transform into a rainbow-hued monstrosity despite your futile efforts. Nor will I entertain you by saying that word aloud. No. While I will need to retreat to a pod soon to rejuvenate myself, I have every intention of emerging in my original form, though I suspect my wings and hair will retain their dreadful sparkle.”

“But you can change your appearance at will! What’s so bad about looking the tiniest bit different cosmetically?” My gross understatement drew a sharp glare. “Think of all the benefits! No more reliance on love to survive, more power at your disposal, greater acceptance by ponies and other creatures—”

She interrupted. “I saw what Pharynx looked like after he evolved.”

That stopped me in my tracks. “Hmm. Yeah, he has an awful lot of colors in one place. OK, I see your point.”

Absolutely everyone had been invited to the shindig, even Torch. Fortunately, the gigantic dragon had declined, satisfied with taking his prized new delicacies back to the Dragonlands after Twilight had treated his burned retinas with the healing fluid. I’d had my legs fixed too, and Penny her wing, so we were all able to enjoy the party as much as possible. I think Chrysalis got a little bloated from all the positive emotions that she had sucked down. Sometime during the festivities, she passed out with her head on Crimson Boulder’s lap, drooling a little, much to my bodyguard’s discomfort. I made sure to get a lot of photographs!

Mayor Mare had to make her speeches, of course. She was especially effusive over the students from the School of Friendship who had been instrumental in saving the town once more. Gallus went up with Smolder by his side to accept their scrolls of commendation. He made a brief speech of thanks before turning and kissing the dragoness. Smolder blushed a little but returned the affection. Ponyville was left in no doubt how those two stood now and I mentally congratulated my son on firmly putting to bed any undue gossip. They were Special Someponies now. Okay, neither was a pony but they hadn’t come up with an alternative name that had stuck yet.

However, they weren’t the biggest surprise of the day.

Applejack unexpectedly took the stage, practically dragging Rainbow Dash along with her. The farm mare was grinning ear to ear as she stood at the podium, waiting for the crowd to quiet down.

“Mares and stallions, cocks and hens, bulls and cows, an’ everybeing else – Ah’m proud to announce that Rainbow Dash done proposed marriage to me today and Ah have accepted. Y’all are invited to the wedding!” She then threw her hooves around Rainbow and thoroughly snogged her.

There was a massive cheer from the crowd and I shook my head and grinned. Way to upstage everyone, Appledash. I turned to Trixie and gave her a kiss. Rarity and Penny wanted one next. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Chrysalis had insisted on one too if she hadn’t been unconscious. Anyway, Equestria was safe and secure once more. What better reason to celebrate?

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

You would think that Mark would have learned by now that when you are a person of considerable political power, you do not make idle offers or promises. Now he has another herdmate and one he certainly never planned for!

Art by Mix-up.
Watch the creation of this picture on YouTube.

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Chapter 96 - Getting Back To Normal

And so, life returned to normal in Equestria.

Yeah, sure!

With all the major threats now pacified, the alliances that had been formed began to fray. Nations that had been happy to accept our help when they needed it suddenly wanted to assert their independence. Abyssinia was the first to withdraw but that was hardly surprising. Cats were cats even if they walked on two legs and talked. On the flip side, the parrot representatives from Ornithia practically fell over themselves in pushing for closer bonds with our nation. Negotiations had begun to formally make the nation an independent city-state of Equestria like the Crystal Principality. Oh yeah, that had dropped its “Empire” title at last. I think Cadance managed to persuade them by implying that they were now part of the greater Equestrian Empire, and had therefore not slipped in status. Semantics!

The sphinx premier wanted much the same: formal recognition as an autonomous region allied with Equestria. Calling her a ‘premier’ was a bit of a stretch, considering the three villages she nominally controlled were each less populated than Ponyville. Equestria essentially signed a treaty with three retirement communities.

It turned out that all but the oldest sphinx were highly territorial. When your youngest and strongest warriors couldn’t stand to be within miles of each other for longer than a couple of days, that cut down on your options to take over new territory. The exception was their homecoming for mating season every seven years. Neighboring races knew to stay far away from the hormone-soaked giants during that two week period. The Premier hoped the new alliance could lead to a cure for their wanderlust. Failing that, the chance to establish new dens in the North would be acceptable.

Queen Novo wondered what the fuss was all about. She and Celestia had made this kind of political arrangement decades ago. The hippogriffs just tended to keep to their own corner of the world until recently when the Storm King attacked Mount Aris. Their sequestration (bad pun, sorry – not sorry) took another blow when Twilight started her school that integrated more species in a common bond of friendship rather than political alliances. Princess Gilda, for all her gruff bluster, knew what was best for her nation and the means of winning over the griffons was going to take a bit more than making friends. The war with Grogar actually helped there. Griffons are an extremely proud species and they reveled in tales of their heroics in the final battle. There was quite an uptick in applications to the E.U.P. military academy and Royal Guard from the cat-birds. I think this was the first event that stirred their blood since King Grover lost their precious icon. Sometimes I wondered if that was mostly a euphemism for the decay of their civilization.

Anyway, these and more were keeping the Triarchy extra busy. Celestia was a huge help though. She refused to take a well-earned break until I found a suitable advisor, and while a few had been suggested, none had felt right for me. Mostly it was because they were too compliant. I needed someone who could butt heads with me if they felt I was wrong or could offer a vastly different point of view. Starlight and Diadem had spoiled me. God, I missed that changeling princess.

These events and many more kept me busy for the two weeks after the war with Grogar concluded. I didn’t mind it a bit because, while I was preoccupied with those problems, I wasn’t thinking about the battle, the deaths, and worse. One advantage of not getting much sleep was that it kept down the number of visits from Luna needed to quell yet another nightmare. When things slacked off, I continued to bury myself in paperwork.

I was in my office slogging through the backlog of petitions, draft legislation, budgets and so forth, when I heard a hoof tapping at my door. Normally, visitors to my office are announced by my assistant who, embarrassingly, was Celestia at the moment. I told her that she didn’t have to do that – she was a former ruler and I had a regular secretary. She demurred and told me with the infuriatingly beneficent smile of hers that she couldn’t fulfill her duties stuck in another room. I swear she was doing it just to fluster me. Don’t let her fool you – that alicorn has a wicked sense of humor. Anyway, to bypass the princess, you had to be one of a very few select people. Therefore, it was no great surprise to see Shining Armor in the doorway, regarding me with his usual charming grin.

“Hey, Shining – what brings you here?” I asked as I got up from my chair.

He met me halfway and we hoof-bumped.

“Can’t a guy drop in on his friend once in a while?” he asked ingenuously.

I gave him a flat look. “Not when both are princes busy doing their jobs, and the wife of one of them is mere days from giving birth.”

Shining laughed. “You got me. I’m here on Cady’s orders. I’m to bring you back to the Crystal Kingdom with me.”

“And why should I go? I’m not kidding about being busy.”

The unicorn grew serious. “Busy finding ways to keep busy, you mean. Come on, Mark – you know why Cadance wants to see you.”

“What if I don’t want to go?”

“Oh, I have instructions for that too.” The stallion’s horn flashed and I found myself englobed in one of his bubble shields. He turned around and headed out with me in tow.

“Hey! You can’t just foalnap a Triarch!”

“Don’t worry – I have permission.” He nodded to Penny who was nonchalantly trimming her hooves. “Just borrowing your boss for a while.”

The batpony nodded. “Have him back by dinnertime.”

“No problem.”

As I floated helplessly out of the office, I saw Celestia with a satisfied smile on her face. I suddenly knew who put Cadance and Shining up to this. I shook a hoof at her. “Traitor!”

“You can thank me later, Mark Wells.”

I folded my forelegs and pouted as I was carried to the daggerscale portal room, surprising not a few Royal Guards along the way. By the time we got to Cadance’s office in the Crystal Kingdom, I was pretty much done sulking and starting to feel the jitters that I had been staving off for so long. She smiled and bade me welcome before dismissing her husband.

“Thanks, love. Please let everyone know not to disturb us.”

Shining Armor nodded and gave her a kiss before departing.

The pink alicorn’s visage grew serious. “You should have come to see me days ago.”

“You have enough of your own problems right now.”

“There are few things more important than the welfare of a close friend and, besides, Shiny has taken over most of the royal duties until I give birth.” The gravid mare started guiding me over to a sofa. “You have my undivided attention.”

And the floodgates opened.

Three weeks and several counseling sessions later, I was far more serene but still occasionally stressed out by far more prosaic matters. Adding to that, I would think about Diadem’s fate at times I least expected it. That would always suck the energy from me like a blow to the gut. However, the Royal Sisters had other ways of relieving our mental burdens.

I was trudging to the dining room after a particularly draining meeting with representatives from Zebrica. Crimson Boulder was lending a sympathetic ear to my complaints about their unreasonable demands.

“Wanna swap jobs?” I asked with a groan.

“Buck, no! That would kill me.”

“If it’s so dangerous, aren’t you supposed to save me from that kind of thing?”

He snorted and replied, “Can’t stop you from self-inflicted torture. The alternative is to learn and grow from your mistakes. Let me know when you want to try that.”

“Gangway!” came a familiar voice behind us.

We glanced back and quickly flattened ourselves against the walls as both Celestia and Luna came shooting down the hallway on office chairs, their wheels squealing across the marble floors as the alicorns propelled themselves with their wings.

“What the…?” I began as I stepped forward to watch the two racing sisters, only to be shoved back against the wall by Crimson.

“HEY! No cheating! Wings only!” yelled Penny as she zoomed by on her own wheeled seat.

I looked down the corridor to check for further racers before watching my herdmate disappear around a corner in hot pursuit of the other two.

“Well… that happened,” I remarked.

“Never thought I’d see the like,” Crimson agreed.

“You know I’m going to have to do something about all this, don’t you?”

“Want me to find you a chair?”

I grinned. “Naturally.” Let me show those amateurs how it’s really done!

I was in Sugar Cube Corner, enjoying a relaxing weekend day with my friends and family. Well, most of them anyway. Nyx had popped up, asked if Gemini could play with her and the Crusaders, and disappeared with our child scarcely before my wife could say yes.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, dear?” I asked.

“Trixie is certain that all we have to fear is excessive amounts of tree sap.”

She had a point and I was determined not to be a helicopter parent – a term even more appropriate in Equestria. This was the first completely free weekend we’d had since the battle and I intended to relax and not fret about anything. Easier said than done, I know, but when you’re royalty, you could always have discreet guardians watching out for you and your family. More than one pair of eyes would be ensuring that our child would stay safe. Regis too, as it happened.

“Don’t worry, Dad,” Twilight said. “Thorax has several drones shadowing the Crusaders.”

I blinked cocked my head. “What’s with this ‘Dad’ business?”

The purple alicorn grinned. “Well, Chrysalis is now your mate, and Thorax is her son…” She paused expectantly.

It hit me. “That makes you my daughter-in-law! Good grief! I hope that’s the last time you call me that though. You’ll make me feel old!”

Twilight giggled and there were chuckles from the others. I poked my tongue out and blew them a royal raspberry.

“Hey! What did we miss?” came a voice from the doorway.

I looked around to see Rainbow Dash and Applejack approaching. I hadn’t noticed them entering the shop. “Hi, Dash, Applejack. I didn’t expect to see you today.”

“Me and AJ had something important to do,” the colorful pegasus replied. “Glad to find you all here together. It’ll save us a lot of time.”

Applejack reached into a saddlebag, pulled out a bunch of letters, and started passing them around. When Rarity’s eyes lit up, I didn’t even need to look at mine to know what it was. The golden wedding bells on the envelopes kind of gave it away though. Opening mine with my magic, I started reading the card inside. My eyebrows shot up and Rarity was already squeeing excitedly. The card read:

Dear Prince Mark Wells

You are cordially invited to the weddings of
Applejack Apple and Rainbow Dash
and
Macintosh Apple and Marble Pie

Just one date was mentioned for the two nuptials. I looked up at the grinning mares, my ears pricked up. “Big Mac is getting hitched too?”

“Eeyup!” Applejack responded. “Matter o’ fact, he proposed to Marble before Dash done the same to me.”

Rainbow grinned wryly. “Yeah. When I saw how thrilled AJ was about it, it kinda prompted me to finally bite the arrow and ask her if she wanted to get hitched too.”

“So that’s why you did it in the middle of the ceremonies. It did come out of the blue. What gets me is that Big Mac never mentioned it to me. I knew that he and Marble had been seeing each other a lot but he never said anything about planning to pop the question.”

“Y’all were a tad busy for a long while,” Applejack explained. “Besides, Ah reckon Granny done gave him a push. Somethin’ about seein’ the next generation sometime soon.”

Rarity said, “That’s quite understandable, dear. The Apple Clan is very big on family. Presumably, that’s why you’ll be having the weddings concurrently. Every Apple across Equestria will want to attend, so it makes sense to hold them together.”

“Y’all got that right,” Applejack replied with a wide grin. “It’s goin’ ta be the biggest shindig in Apple history!”

“When can I expect the two of you to come to my boutique to plan your wedding gowns?” Rarity gave Rainbow a particularly firm look.

Applejack chuckled. “Don’t you worry none, Rares. Ah’ll make sure Dash and me will come ’round soon. Marble too – Ah know ya won’t be able to resist offerin’. There’s a whole lotta other plans ta get rollin’ also.”

I said, “I’ll have to drop by Sweet Apple Acres later and give Mac my congratulations.” I turned to Rainbow. “How’s this going to affect your work with the Wonderbolts?”

“Not much, really. Ever since we got the daggerscale portal set up at HQ, I’ve been able to easily visit AJ whenever I’ve been off-duty. I’ll take some leave for the wedding and honeymoon, of course.”

I nodded. “Fair enough.”

“Oh, just one other thing, Mark,” Rainbow said with a grin.

I raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Don’t forget that you said you’d be stud for me when we’re ready to have foals.”

I blinked a bit. “That was years ago, Dash. You still want to hold me to that?”

“Yep. Only the best sire for me and Applejack.”

I looked at the farm mare who shrugged and said, “Yer kind of scrawny an’ homely lookin’, but her heart is set on ya, and Ah won’t object.”

I gave her a flat look. “Gee, thanks, Jackie.” I turned to my wife, but before I could say anything, she spoke up.

“Trixie remembers you telling her about this, Trademark Nutshells. She will not stand in the way of a prior obligation.”

Well, drat! There went my last chance of wriggling out of playing breeding stud. Penny must have picked up on my mood because she laughed and slapped me on the back with a wing.

“Poor Mark! So many mares want a piece of him. Got a list somewhere of the rest waiting their chance?”

“What?” I shot back. “Afraid you’re going to miss your turn at this hot stallion?”

“Nah – I’ve got a couple of sexy mares to keep me company.”

I sighed. Serves me right for even trying. I faced Rainbow again. “When do you intend us to do the deed?”

She held up both forehooves and waved them in negation. “Oh, no! Not for a few years. My Wonderbolts career is taking too much of my time and AJ is busier than ever. Just wanted to make sure you remembered your promise.”

That was a relief. I might be ready for her then. Right now, I was still coming to terms with gaining a changeling queen for a fourth herdmare.

“Anyhow,” Applejack said, “Lots more invites ta pass out. Be seein’ y’all!”

“I seem to recall you inviting the whole town and more,” I commented.

The farm mare grinned and winked. “Yep!”

As the couple left, Rarity said, “Mark, darling, I know you were terribly ignorant of Equestrian ways when you first arrived here, but do you think you have many more mares waiting for your services?”

I shook my head. I fervently hoped not!

“Are you ready yet, love?” I called out.

“One moment longer, Dowser. Trixie must be Great and Perfect for the night,” my wife replied from the bedroom where her maid was helping her get ready.

“We’re going to be late,” I insisted. “The foalsitter collected Gemini for the night long ago and everyone else is waiting for you.”

Penny and Steady smirked, Twilight rolled her eyes, and Rarity tittered. Celestia and Luna exchanged knowing glances. Thorax looked a little uncertain but at least he wasn’t impatient like me.

Despite my fears, Trixie stepped out only half a minute later. I gaped and then gave a long whistle of appreciation. My beloved was wearing a new gown created by Rarity, of course. I hadn’t been allowed to see it until Trixie had ‘completed the ensemble’ as she firmly told me. This outfit wasn’t designed for a formal ball though. To put it in my herdmare’s words, it was intended to make the wearer look ‘absolutely fabulous’ while giving her plenty of room to move. For tonight, we were going partying!

The Anticyclone had at last returned to Canterlot. The previous time, I had not been able to take my wife but now she had wings of her own. Rarity had them too – magical butterfly wings that lent a fairytale look to the mare. I was a little concerned that they might be a bit fragile for their intended purpose but Twilight had insisted that they were much more durable than the first ones that she had made. I wasn’t sure what to make of that statement, but Rarity seemed fine with them. I insisted on a cloud-walking spell to back them up though.

I gave Trixie a kiss and whispered in her ear that she looked hot.

She smiled in satisfaction and murmured, “Wait until later and find out just how hot.”

I already felt a bit steamy. I then congratulated Rarity on the wonderful job she had done on Trixie’s outfit before we started heading out… from the balcony, of course. You couldn’t walk to the Anticyclone.

Chrysalis would not be joining us. Two days ago, she had completed her penance by making peace with the families of all thirty victims of her attack on Canterlot. I escorted her to the Crystal Castle where she sat down for a private talk with Cadance and Shining Armor that lasted for hours. I knew better than to ask any of them about what was said.

What I can repeat is what happened while I led her back to the daggerscale portal room. I heard flapping wings which made me turn around. Shiny Button glomped onto my herdmate’s legs with a flying hug. “Mommy bug!”

Chrysalis returned the embrace. “Ah, my dearest nymph, Shiny Button! All grown up and healthy as a maidenfly in summer. Let me take a look at you.”

The small Prince of the Crystal Principality backed up a step and bounced on his hooves. And by that, I mean fairly high in the air. You’d think his four legs were pogo sticks. His smile radiated the pure joy that was his default expression.

Chrysalis grinned with true affection. “Your alicorn form suits you wonderfully.” Her face turned serious and her voice dropped an octave. “Now, then. Have you been thoughtful and kind to everypony you meet?”

Her son smiled back and shook his head. “Nuh-uh! Sunburst says I’m a little r-r-r-r-rascal!”

“And how do we learn?”

An even bigger smile. “Making mistakes! The bigger the better!”

The changeling queen pulled Button into another embrace. “Such a brilliant nymph. Keep making me proud!”

“OK, Mommy Bug!”

With that, the foal pronked past us and Chrysalis continued down the corridor. “Coming, husband?”

That woke me up from my stupor. I trotted after her. “Chrysalis, we need to have a talk about parenting styles.”

That evening, she sealed herself into a pod for a week of rejuvenation. Before doing so, she secured an appointment with Rarity to explore fashion designs for her restored form. When I asked for a preview, or even a hint or two, Rarity laughed in my face. “And miss seeing you gape like a fish when my creation is revealed? Please, darling. Such moments of absolute honesty are what every fashion designer lives for.”

The wandering cloud resort looked just as I had remembered it from its last stopover, right down to the neon sign advertising The Anticyclone Bar and Grill. Naturally, the non-stop dance rave was our choice of destination. While we had made reservations, we hardly had to introduce ourselves to the maître d’ as we were quickly shown to our tables. The last time I visited, we had been seated in a booth intended for two couples. This time, the table and seating were clearly intended for larger groups such as my herd, each of them capable of six occupants. Celestia practically counted for two though.

We started off with drinks all round, but as soon as the waiters had taken our meal orders, we joined the crowd in the dance area. DJ-Pon-3 dished out the beats and we immersed ourselves in the magic of the music. No ground-bound species could ever appreciate a dance like pegasi, griffons, and the like. We had a three-dimensional volume to work with and we made the most of it. I was able to dance with all three of my mates at one time in an interweaving rock-driven waltz. If you have never experienced it, I feel sorry for you.

Even the Princess of Dork was doing better than normal while dancing with Thorax whose wings were sparkling up a storm. Luna had surprised Steady by asking him to dance with her. After overcoming a case of nerves, he seemed to be enjoying himself greatly. And Celestia…? I had no idea who that mare was that she was gamboling with, but they looked more like two lovers by the closeness of their sky-dancing.

I remarked on this to my herd when we sat down for our meal. It was disconcerting how all three mares laughed.

“Okay – what’s so funny?”

Rarity replied, “Darling – haven’t you realized that Celestia is a fillyfooler? Remember the portrait of Mountain Blood in Celestia’s secret chamber? After Celestia banished her sister to the moon, the poor mare fell into a depression for decades. Mountain Blood’s love and care lifted her out. No stallion could compare to his memory and she’s had no desire for a replacement since.”

I looked over to where the solar alicorn was seated with the mystery mare. “When did you realize this?”

“At the fashion show. Our newest herdmate gave me the rundown from her perspective. Celestia was not embarrassed by your outfits – she was aroused. Actually, that’s not quite true. She was also embarrassed to be aroused by essentially herself.”

“Huh! So Tia’s gay. Maybe that’s why I still prefer mares when I become Marklestia. I always thought it was because my sexual preference carried over into my other form.”

My wife shrugged. “Whatever the case, we mares win. As for Celestia…” She looked over to where the alicorn was laughing at something the new mare had said. “…she’s free and available for the first time in centuries. Trixie predicts many flings over the next several months.”

My eyes shifted to my valet and close friend. “What about Steady and Luna?”

Penny snorted. “Those two are just having a fun time. Not everything is shipping material.”

I took a sip of my wine and chuckled. “Why not? After all, I’m a former human from another world and now I’m an alicorn prince with a herd of four.”

“Putting it that way doesn’t sound so far-fetched,” Penny admitted while giving the odd couple another appraisal. “Wanna have some fun with those two? I’m not just going to gift you the rank of Apprentice, Second Class.”

I looked at the smirks on the rest of the herd and added my own. “This ought to be entertaining.”

Best! Night! Ever!

And we finished it off with all three mares and myself sharing the bed. Now I know why Equestrian beds are so big. It was obvious in retrospect, although I had almost always bedded my herdmates individually before now. Silly me.

How does a stallion figure out how to keep several mares happy at the same time? Answer – he doesn’t. That’s the Lead Mare’s job. That’s why the wife has so much say in who joins the herd. She understands the different ways we interact and she plans around for them. Naturally, the wife gets first crack at the stallion if she wants, but the rest is arranged in some arcane manner that no mere male can comprehend. What I could understand was that each mare was happy with the arrangement and I had a heck of a night. Yeah, I know that this probably wouldn’t work for most humans but, for ponies with their different mindset, it was all perfectly normal. And I was most definitely a pony now – a very happy one.

The pregnancy that had kept Princess Cadance out of the battle with Grogar came due. Unlike her first childbirth, the delivery was unremarkable. She bore another daughter whom her parents named Skyla. She strongly resembled Cadance’s appearance in both mane and coat, although the latter was a darker shade of pink. And she was a pegacorn like her older sister. Oh, yeah – that’s something that we finally figured out. Although Flurry Heart had magic surges from Tartarus, she wasn’t an alicorn after all. As she grew older, it became apparent that she had no earth pony magic. When Auntie Twilight offered to run blood tests on the two foals, her offer was shot down by the parents. Since both knew Twilight from foalhood, they were more than familiar with how experimentation brought out her manic side.

Flurry’s pegacorn status came as a bit of a relief to those who felt that alicorn status had to be earned, not inherited. I was of two minds on the subject though. Trixie and I were both alicorns now, so would the next foal we conceived be one? Time would tell, I suppose. At least it was almost certain that the current bun in the oven would not be an alicorn. I was less worried about that and more concerned about the one that I had conceived with Penny the previous night. And, of course, there was Rarity. She was conspicuously pregnant now although it wasn’t slowing her down yet as evidenced by her participation in the battle. I was quite ready to put off that drama for a few months yet. I had more than enough headaches with my latest herdmate.

How do you mate with a changeling queen? Chrysalis had only smirked when I broached the subject, so I decided to consult with the voice of experience. One quick trip to the portal room and I was in the Crystal Castle in Chryssy’s dimension. I intended to have a chat with Shining Armor, stallion to stallion, but I happened to arrive at a time when both his mares were with him. Of course, Cadance was delighted to learn that I had taken Chrysalis as a herdmate, while Chryssy smugly pointed out that she had been right about my attraction to strong-willed and prideful females. Both blithely ignored my protestations that I had inadvertently trapped myself into the commitment. I gave up trying to convince them and returned to my original reason for visiting. All three were grinning after my explanation and Shining was about to answer when Chryssy beat him to it.

“I’m so glad you asked! Naturally, Shiny was ignorant about the process too, so I had to give him the lecture before we first made love. Let’s start with the ovipositor…”

Chryssy launched into a lecture about changeling queen anatomy and mating procedures that sounded more like they belonged in a Lovecraft horror story than a bedroom. As the blood slowly drained from my face and my head spun, I scarcely noticed the raised eyebrow on Shining’s face and the hoof that Cadance was holding over her muzzle. When Chryssy finally ran out of gruesome and painful details, I turned to the stallion and stared at him in panic.

“How?! How can you cope with that?!”

The unicorn shrugged. “I don’t. She turns into a pony of whatever kind I desire. Pegasus, earth, unicorn, or even a zebra. I’ve made love with two Cadys more than once. She’s quite imaginative.”

I looked at the two mares who had fallen into each other’s arms and had started laughing their heads off.

I scowled and snarled, “Oh, sure! Make fun of the ignorant pony trapped into an obligation.”

“Oh, stop pouting,” Chryssy said. “You’re the one who made a mountain out of a molehill. It was just too good an opportunity to pass up.”

I sighed and let it go. One of these days I’ll get used to being the butt of the jokes of every mare in every dimension.

The next step was to figure out when I had to do the deed. I hoped I’d get a straight answer on that.

Apparently deciding that she had carried the joke far enough, Chryssy replied, “Changeling queens are always ready to breed. Just choose a night that suits you both and do it.”

“What about—”

The changeling mare held up a hoof to stop me. “Mark, some things you need to talk about with your mate. In spite of what you might think, Chrysalis cares about you and your herd. She would never have asked to join if she did not. Stop thinking of her as an imposition and focus on how you can improve your relationship and strengthen your herd. Believe me – I know what I’m talking about.”

All traces of humor had left the changeling’s expression. Cadance smiled encouragingly. Shining got up, urged me to my hooves, and started guiding me out of the room.

“Take my advice, my friend. Make the most of your good fortune. Marrying these two mares was the best thing I ever did, even if they had to beat me over the head with a club to get me to realize that we were meant for each other. There’s a reason why this is a mares’ world and that’s because they have to stop us stallions from screwing up relationships. Go home and demonstrate to Chrysalis why she’s your mare.”

I snorted. “Just when I think I have this relationship thing sorted out, this happens. Okay, I’ll take your word on that.” My mouth curled in a smirk. “In fact, I think I have the perfect idea.”

I confronted Chrysalis that evening after dinner. She had picked at her physical food but apparently fed well on the affections of her grandson as well as a goblet of love gel. At least, I knew she had the energy to spare for other activities. The changeling queen had come out of her rejuvenation pod looking a bit more like her alicorn self from the battle: six inches taller and no holes in her legs, mane, or tail. Her wings and hair retained the sparkly appearance that danced in the light. Chrysalis was displeased by this last bit but I found it mesmerizing to look at, especially in the moonlight.

“I plan to mate with you tonight,” I said abruptly.

Chrysalis looked at me with genuine surprise which turned into a grin. “My! You have grown bold. Yesterday, it seemed you were trying to find any excuse to get out of your stallionly duties.”

“Mating with you may have been implied but not guaranteed. However, I have changed my mind after some good advice. So – are you ready to be my mare and bear my foal?”

She stared at me for a long moment. I think she was taken aback by my reversal of course. Then she surprised me by bowing her head and saying, “I will bear you a changeling princess who will be the start of a new and glorious hive.”

“Then, let’s head to your suite and fulfil your destiny.”

“And your other mates?” Chrysalis asked, looking about at Trixie, Rarity, and Penumbra who merely gazed back in quiet amusement.

“I already informed them of my intentions.”

“Then let’s go, my stallion.”

Penny followed us to Chrysalis’ suite but parked herself outside the door. “I’m still your bodyguard and I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed,” she declared, causing the regular Royal Guard posted there to raise his eyebrows in surprise.

When the door closed behind us, Chrysalis turned and flared her shimmering wings. Looking at me proudly, she declared, “Show me how to serve your queen!”

I gave her a flat look. “Is that what you said when you were pretending to be Cadance and used Shining Armor?”

She gave me a sour look without replying.

I let her stew for a moment. “Chrysalis, you are my herdmate now. Regardless of the circumstances that brought this about, I intend to treat you with the respect due to all my mates. I also intend to make this as enjoyable as possible for both of us. So, knock off the posing so we can start.”

Chrysalis raised an eyebrow and smiled with amusement. “And how do you intend to proceed, Prince Mark?”

“First, I want you to turn into a pegasus the same size as me. I’d like you to retain your normal colors for your coat and mane.”

Her other eyebrow joined the first. “You’ve gotten advice.” At my nod, she said, “Very well.” With a flare of magical green fire, the changeling was replaced with a gorgeous pegasus mare. She had taken a bit of liberty with her coloration but was still recognizably herself. I could tell I was getting seriously aroused.

“Does this meet with your satisfaction, husband?”

I didn’t bother correcting her. Stepping up to Chrysalis, I put a foreleg around her neck and gently pulled my herdmate’s face towards mine. “It does. Now let me show you the difference between taking love and making it.” I then kissed her, putting my best effort into making it pleasant for the both of us. It took a few seconds before she responded, but from that point, it opened the floodgates.

Chrysalis stopped being coy and began taking delight in our togetherness. I showed her how I could arouse a pegasus until she was practically begging me to mount her, and by then I was ready to do so. We made love for the first of several times that evening. Chrysalis showed me a few other forms that she created just for me. While she and I would still have to work some things out with our new relationship, at least we had this part well and truly covered.

The next morning at breakfast, Penny told me that I had forgotten to put up the silencing spell and she gleefully recounted to my other mates the night’s activities that she had heard with those sensitive batty ears of hers. I face-hoofed and blushed, but Chrysalis just smiled smugly. Some things never change.

Six days later, Chrysalis laid an egg. She was quite proud but I admit I felt a little weird about it. Even Twilight’s hybrid child was a live birth. I would have to re-examine my feelings when the egg hatched. Fortunately for our herd, Twilight Sparkle assigned two of her drones to care for the egg both before and after it would hatch. Before the changeling queen took it away to be incubated in a specially prepared nursery, I held the egg in my hooves and pondered how this offspring of mine would change the world when she hatched. The Canterlot Hive would be nothing like any that had come before, and its future ruler lay within that delicate shell. How was Equestria going to react? We would all learn that soon enough, I supposed.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

You're getting this chapter early because it had already grown too big, so the rest is going into chapter 97 instead.

"Freewheeling" art by Foxenawolf

Art fund tips via Ko-Fi would be appreciated hugely!

Chapter 97 - Mates and Foals

Early the next morning, I complimented Chrysalis on her work so far. Today was my newest wife's fourth day of tryouts for the role of advisor and the first without Raven’s supervision. I had to admit to myself that my herdmate brought numerous good qualities to the job: the ability to read the emotional states of the petitioners, an uncanny sense of when any being was being untruthful or just selective with the information they provided, unafraid to give me an alternate point of view without being disrespectful, and the force of presence to gain the attention and respect of any petitioner. Also, she could dial this back and offer encouragement when a shy or intimidated supplicant brought their case to me.

The changeling queen gave me her smug grin. “Of course I am excelling. I have over seventy years of leadership and infiltration experience. You would be wise to recognize my over-qualification for this position.”

“Whatever you say, Chrys.”

“Ugh!” She made spitting noises. “You will not refer to me with that horrid nickname! It is demeaning!”

I tried to act contrite. “But nicknames are supposed to be playful. You know – a sign of affection.”

“No. That name is distasteful in the extreme. Absolutely not.”

I smirked. “Your wish is my desire, Sally.”

This time I got an open-mouthed stare. “No! Under no circumstances is that acceptable! That name is a hundred times worse!”

“Too late. You used up your one veto… Sally.”

I found her growls to be highly entertaining until she whispered into my ear. “You have to sleep sometime.”

Wait. She wouldn’t.

Would she?

I sat down on my throne a good half hour before Day Court was set to begin. I motioned my herdmate closer to go over the list of petitioners and their cases. I would often need members of one government department or another to resolve issues on the spot. Sure, it was my royal prerogative to pull them away from whatever they were doing at that moment to come to the throne room. However, I preferred to give them forewarning. That made for happier staff. Chrysalis found this to be inefficient but conceded that nearly all the employees appreciated my consideration. Yes, the exception was the Chief Building Inspector. The elderly unicorn mare despised any interruption to her work schedule. Chrysalis found her unabated hostility “a breath of fresh air for a pony” and “it was a pleasure to be near a being that hated everything and everyone with no hint of bias or favoritism.” Whatever rocks your boat, Sally.

My pro-tem advisor did not respond to my summons. Instead, she stared at the room’s entrance. I heard the sergeant-at-arms hurriedly call out, “Announcing Her Majesty, Queen Apicula of the Southern Wastes Hive.”

I turned my head to see the aforementioned changeling queen alighting before the dais. She bowed her head, “Prince Mark Wells.”

I stood up and walked down to the marble tiles. “Queen Apicula. To what do we owe this pleasure?” I didn’t need Chrysalis and the schedule on her clipboard to tell me this was an unexpected visit.

Apicula frowned at me. “I have… heard through my acquaintances that you remain troubled by the loss of my sister, Diadem.” The queen was obliquely referring to Lady Silver Dreams, her lead love and intelligence gatherer in Canterlot… or possibly a different member of her network of disguised changelings throughout the city and castle.

I winced before tamping down my emotions. Belatedly, I realized this was a useless endeavor when facing an emotivore. No sense trying to hide it. “Yes. I still have trouble sleeping at night.” I sighed and looked at the floor. “So many things I see and hear every day remind me of her and I just… can’t help but feel her loss every time.”

“You must let her go.”

That made me jerk my head up. “You mean forget her?”

Apicula’s smiled gently. “By no means. Our loved ones should be forever honored in our memories. I ask that you think instead about how happy and fulfilled she became under your tutelage. When I foisted Diadem on you, she was an adolescent in every way: selfish, arrogant, and lacking empathy. My sister blossomed into her full potential in your castle. The Diadem that moderated discussions between all the queens in your Great Hall bore little resemblance to the one I raised from an egg. Respite was the first of seven communities founded throughout Equestria with equal members of ponies and changelings. None of this would have happened without her understanding of both races guiding the queens to that agreement. Let that be her legacy to you. May you remember her with pride… as I do.”

I looked down again and considered. Off to my left, Chrysalis spoke quietly with one of the pages who teleported away.

I said, “Thank you, Apicula. I think that does help.”

She hugged me. “You aren’t alone in your grief. Call on me when you are ready to talk. In the meantime, share your feelings with your mates. Talk to your friends. They will help you.” She bowed. “Your Highness.”

I did the same. “Your Majesty.”

After Apicula had trotted out, I returned to my throne. Chrysalis waited for me there with a familiar item around her hoof.

She said, “My advice to you will be different from my fellow queen. Here.” She hoofed over the braided ring of her mane and tail hair. Chrysalis must have had the page retrieve it from our chambers. “Do you know what I was doing when I gave you this gift? What it symbolized to me?”

Other than fulfilling the conditions I had imposed upon entering my herd? I shook my head.

“By giving you this from myself, I was giving up my past. I embraced the new Chrysalis by abandoning my old self. Do you know why I did not hesitate to risk my life to your untested expertise with the Bewitching Bell? Because you represented my future. I had already dedicated my life to your herd and Equestria. There was no deliberation needed because the decision was already made.”

She sighed. “I understand you feel emotions I cannot feel… that I will not feel. If I pined over all of my children that died because of my delusions of power, I would be of no use to my herdmates or to you. It is my nature to live without regret. I learn what I can and move on. I… suggest you do the same, husband.”

Chrysalis walked away, fussing with her clipboard, leaving me with my thoughts. Glancing around, I saw that the guards were likewise giving me privacy.

My musings were interrupted by a tear in space appearing in front of me. A clawed hand reached through and snatched the ring of hair. As it pulled back, I saw the room beyond. It was the Canterlot Castle Great Hall. I gasped as I saw Princess Diadem. Her wings buzzed in excitement and her smile beamed with joy. The moment came back to me. All the changeling queens applauded after she announced the agreement to found hybrid changeling/pony settlements. Through the rent in space, Diadem looked directly at me and her smile grew even wider. She radiated happiness and accomplishment at that moment.

The tear disappeared only to reopen, much larger this time.

“It’s done!” yelled Discord as he stepped through. Chrysalis turned around and came up to my side. We both looked up to see him holding a sweater knit from shimmering blue yarn. He grinned down at us. “This is for your nymphy-foal-princess-y thing.”

Chrysalis asked, “Is that… did you knit that from my hair?”

The draconequus nodded his head quickly to an accompanying rattling sound. “Yes indeedy! Mark taught me that you have to invest time to make something worthwhile. I’ve been knitting this thing for ages – since one of your boring Grogar strategy sessions if I remember right.”

He handed the sweater to my herdmate then frowned. “Funny thing about playing games with time. I grabbed your hair from some-other-when and your firstborn won’t fit in it until she’s three. Don’t ask how I know, I just do.” He beamed. “Consider this an early birthday present!”

Chrysalis tapped her chin. “I think the pony thing to say now is, ‘Thank you very much for this gift, Discord.’ Yes, let’s go with that.” She turned to me and blinked. “Husband… Mark, are you well?”

I wiped tears away from my eyes. For the first time in weeks, I felt the muscles unclench in my neck as my body relaxed.

After several deep breaths, I said, “Chrysalis, dear. There’s a tradition from my world I would like to bring to Equestria. We often name our children after those we wish to honor and remember. What do you think about naming our firstborn Diadem?”

A pleased smile grew on her face. “There is a similar practice among changelings. Besides, there are only so many names anyling can derive from insect body parts. Yes, that would be a fitting tribute.” We shared a kiss.

I turned to see Discord pointing to his cheek expectantly which made me laugh. “Discord, you know the favor I owe you?”

He nodded.

“Make it a big one.”

The draconequus eyebrows vibrated up and down quickly before coming to a stop in a look of abject surprise.

A smile slowly took over his face. “I know just the thing.”

No soy un fan de los titiriteros, pero tengo un miedo molesto
Alguien más está tirando de las cuerdas
Algo terrible está bajando por toda la ciudad
Causando anarquía y todo lo que trae

I belted out the lyrics in a fine baritone as I strummed my oversized guitar. Did I know before today that there existed a mariachi song written about Discord? Did I know any Spanish beyond what I learned in Mr. Perez’s seventh-grade class? Did I expect to be wearing a black suit and sombrero both embroidered with silver thread? I did not. Yet here I was, singing like a native. My strumming skills had received an upgrade too. Even with the unconventional way the day had gone so far, I couldn’t say I had anything to complain about.

Saturday had started early for me with a loud thump on the patio of my herd’s suite. I had almost convinced myself I had imagined it when the sound repeated itself insistently. Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!

Sighing, I extracted myself from between Rarity and Trixie. I weaved my way past the couch holding a snoring Penumbra. Today, all of us had the day off and the batpony took advantage of this rare treat. Our suite now seemed crowded with the addition of two more members and their assorted crap. The mares had met without me to plan out where Trixie’s Suite Version 3.0 would be constructed. My after-the-fact protest that I could have cast the deciding vote was met with four condescending stares. Only Chrysalis wanted a nice, cozy subterranean cavern so a decision was not hard to reach. The next home for the herd would take up part of the new floor being built above the Great Hall.

Quietly stepping outside, I saw the sun rising over the horizon. Looking up, I spotted Celestia on her balcony and gave her a wave which she returned. The solar alicorn leaped from her perch and banked out of sight. Looking down, I saw a glossy paperback book bouncing joyfully on the padded bench. OK, Discord. I get the hint.

I sat down on the bench and caught the volume as it flew into my hooves like a happy puppy. I turned the now inert book over to read the title: La Receta De La Abuelita. In English, that translated to The Recipe of the Granny. How did I know that? Opening to the first bookmark, I found I could read the Spanish recipe for traditional flour tortillas with no difficulty.

“¿Que es esto?”

Uh oh. Looked like today was the day. A quick flip through the bookmarks showed me dessert had not been picked out. That was not a problem. I dog-eared the page for sopapillas and had a reasonable guess what I needed for fried ice cream.

I stepped back into our suite long enough to kiss my four sleeping mares. All smiled in return except for Penny who just snored louder. To Trixie, I said in my deepest voice, “Te adoro, mi cariño y mi cielo” (“I adore you, my darling and my sky”). She snuggled deeper into her pillow, murmuring contentedly.

Chrysalis’ head popped up from the far side of the bed. “Didn’t understand a word, but I felt the emotion behind that. We might have to ask Discord to keep him this way.” I rolled my eyes and smiled. Fortunately, the Lord of Chaos’ meddling always had a built-in time limit.

I grabbed some bits and my bottomless saddlebags then headed down the hallways to the kitchen. Surprising me not in the least, by the time I arrived, a fully-armored Penumbra waited at the counter nearest to the pantry. Just to emphasize the point, she had two empty cups in front of her to go with the cup of coffee in her hooves.

Cross-referencing the shopping list Discord thoughtfully made out for me, I gathered most of what I needed. For the rest, I flew to the nearest farmer’s market. Lots of smiles and wordless exchanges of bits got me the remaining produce. Stasis spells would keep the ingredients fresh and the ice cream from melting. In my head, I was already planning out the order in which to prepare the ingredients and then the courses: fire-roast the chiles, prepare the guacamole and pico de gallo, preserve them with a stasis spell, mix the flour tortilla dough (fortunately vegan) …

The mission-style restaurant next to Fluttershy’s cottage gave me a very big hint where Discord wanted me to set up shop. Penny took up patrolling outside the structure. This wasn’t by her choice – she physically couldn’t cross the threshold.

I knew I was going to be busy all day in the well-stocked kitchen. I had a multi-course feast to prepare.

Blue Corn Nachos with Homemade Pico De Gallo; Hearts of Palm and Artichoke Aguachile Negro; Elote (spicy roasted corn ear); Rutabaga Tacos with Greens and Queso Fresco; Crispy Mushroom, Spinach, and Avocado Quesadillas. After each course, Fluttershy would gently pat her barrel then tell Discord that their little one approved of the dish – she could tell because it would kick when mom stopped eating! As for the draconequus, his eyes never left his pregnant marefriend. I’d have to get his food review later.

Now it was the mariachi band’s turn to entertain the enraptured couple. Along with the Star Wars movies, Discord showed the original Muppets Show to the Element of Kindness. This proved to be her favorite series and my bandmates reflected this. The furry giant Sweetums had a deep and resonant bass voice to accompany his tiny violin lost in his oversize hands. How he worked the strings correctly, I have no idea. The remaining two musicians were tiny by comparison though their scaled-down instruments matched the volume of the others. Gonzo (the Great) double and triple tongued crisply through his trumpet sections. Rizzo the Rat strummed his guitar like a pro and his alto voice showed no hint of a New Jersey accent.

Estoy bien con cambiar el status quo, pero no en dejar ir
Ahora el mundo está siendo desgarrado
Una terrible catástrofe de tu sinfonía
¡Qué aterradora obra de arte!

All the band members finished with a flourish. Fluttershy cheered audibly, going as far as clapping her hooves. Her noisiness might have something to do with the empty margarita pitcher on the table. Just like with all other Equestrian pregnancies, spells protected Fluttershy’s developing hybrid foal from diseases, alcohol, and even the capsaicin from the spicy dishes! It seemed that the yellow pegasus used this excuse to cut loose and freely enjoy herself. I could tell from Discord’s expression that he adored seeing his mate this happy.

Fluttershy’s smile was as big as I had ever seen it. She flew up to each musician and kissed them on the cheek. Sweetums practically melted in place. I smiled at the most adorable display I’d seen since Gemini tried to howl along with Winona’s puppies at Sweet Apple Acres.

I was the exception. To my shock, Fluttershy kissed me full on the lips. As she flapped unsteadily back to her table, I saw the draconequus staring darkly into my eyes, his clawed hand high and ready to snap.

“What’s next? Hey, Dizzy! What’s next?”

Fluttershy’s nickname for Discord broke him out of his dangerous mood. “Ahhh… Dessert is next, dear heart!”

I took that as my cue and moved closer. “Tenemos sopapillas y nieve frita, yegua joven. ¿Quieres más margaritas de fresa?” (“We have sopapillas and fried ice cream for desert, young mare. Would you like more strawberry margaritas?”)

She shook her head, causing her mane to fly. “No. Jiffy Pop!”

I blinked. Hadn’t heard that name in a long time. I supposed she had seen the ads along with the Muppet Show broadcasts. That also explained why Discord hadn’t marked out any dessert recipes. His marefriend already knew what she wanted.

Discord waved his paw to a spot behind me before taking Fluttershy’s hooves in his hand and paw. “It’s to the right of the fireplace next to the fire-starter. Make sure to use the tongs and asbestos gloves.”

Fluttershy leaned over the table. “Do you have any idea how happy you make me?”

Discord inclined his neck forward and gasped. “I’m just your clueless male. How could I possibly know?” At her giggle, he said, “You’d best show me.”

As much as I wanted to give them their privacy, I knew Rarity would make my life Tartarus if I didn’t bring back a report on the shameless flirting between these two lovebirds.

Fluttershy licked her lips, closed her eyes, and moved to within an inch of Discord’s lips. “Oodles.”

She then sat back down and cracked up at Discord’s shocked and disappointed expression. The hairs on the back of my neck rose when the Lord of Chaos looked my way again. He was interrupted by his marefriend leaping over the table to tackle him and pepper his face with kisses.

OK. Safe from Rarity’s wrath. Best get on with my assigned duties.

Sure enough, there was the familiar aluminum foil-covered circular disk with a wire handle propped up against the fireplace bricks. I stacked a few split logs onto the empty fire grate and looked around. No kindling or paper to use. I checked my magic. Nope. No access to fire spells. For the duration of my favor payback, I could preserve food and perform some basic levitation but that was it. Discord wanted all the meals to be truly prepared by hoof and that restriction hadn’t changed.

I paused before putting on what had to be the asbestos mitts. Just a short exposure and I’d wash my hooves and pasterns thoroughly afterward. The tongs were over three feet long. What could be so hot as to require these?

I picked up the implements and moved closer to a bright white square set in the stone floor. Not seeing a lid or other mechanism to open, I gently touched the grabbing end to the white spot. The tongs passed straight through. Aha! A portal then.

I opened the tool slightly, feeling around until they impacted something. I clamped down and pulled the item out of the space beyond the portal and into the room. Even with the bright white glow, it was easy to identify the artifact: Grogar’s Bewitching Bell.

I stood in shock for perhaps two seconds before I realized I was sweating profusely. The magical talisman was white-hot and making the area feel like a sauna. Quickly, I touched the bell to the right, center, and left sides of the log pile in the fireplace. Large flames erupted from each spot. Just as swiftly, I maneuvered the artifact back through the portal, released it, and pulled the tongs out. The grabbing ends had melted slightly.

I carefully set the tongs back to their spot on the brick fireplace, set the gloves next to them, and trotted off to the kitchen to scrub my hooves.

“To my dying breath, nopony will ever know.”

Chrysalis’ egg hatched. I was now the father of a changeling grub.

Let’s face it – newly hatched changelings are not exactly cute. Her mother assured me that she was perfect though, so I decided that I would learn to love it. Not that I had much interaction with the child. Grubs were normally cared for by changeling attendants in special nurseries. Courtesy of Hive Mother Twilight, one had been set up with some of her drones. Chrysalis merely had to visit three or four times a day to feed the hatchling love. I wasn’t needed until she molted and became a young bug-pony nymph. Due to the plethora of love available, this didn’t take long. My daughter resembled a miniature version of Thorax when he was in his Kevin guise, only with a green backplate to match her mother and a yellow mane and tail inherited from her father. Then Pinkie Pie threw a naming party for the new princess. As I had requested, we named her in honor of my former advisor. After that, my newest herdmate was proud to bring Diadem to the family gatherings so that she could interact and play with others.

When not on duty, Chrysalis was free to indulge in whatever activities took her fancy. She still had guards following her around but they were there for her protection, just like the rest of us. She rarely chose to leave the castle grounds though, and I was curious about the reason when she did. An inquiry with her guard detail had me discreetly following her one day. She had taken Diadem with her and headed for a public park. There she met up with Twilight Velvet who was minding Regis and Gemini for part of the day. My herdmate loudly encouraged our daughter to “play with your peers” while she chatted with Velvet. I had to stay out of the range of Chrysalis’ empathic senses so I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the guards reported it to me later.

They were bonding over their grandchildren.

Velvet was giving tips on the upbringing of ponies while Chrysalis offered insights into the needs of changelings. And when that topic was done, they started talking about knitting. So help me – Chrysalis pulled out a half-completed sweater! Velvet gushed over the progress my herdmate had made and Chrysalis looked very pleased. I am never going to figure out that changeling.

...

I wonder who the sweater is for?

The problem with pregnant unicorns is that it’s difficult to get them to slow down and take things easy when they’re mere days away from giving birth. They point out, not unreasonably, that they are taking it easy as they lie there and do everything by telekinesis. Rarity refused to reduce her workload, pointing out that much of her time would be taken up by our foal later and she needed to get her orders completed before then. As I have yet to win any arguments with my wives (and calling them herdmates is just a legal euphemism), I resorted to ensuring that Rarity at least took breaks and got as much to eat and drink as she wanted to keep up her strength. And no, that was not a job for a servant. Not while I was her stallion anyway.

Then one afternoon, my mate made a noise that was something like, “Ngkk!”, and a ponyquin went flying across the room to crash into a wall.

At my questioning look, Rarity said, “Sorry, darling. That was a contraction.”

“Are you telling me that your very first contraction was that bad?” I asked suspiciously.

“W-e-l-l… maybe not the first.”

I rolled my eyes as I headed for the door. “Dear, you’re nuts. You can’t just hide going into labor for the sake of a dress.” I poked my head out of the room, spotted Night Bloom on duty, and said, “It’s begun.”

The thestral stallion nodded and galloped away to summon the midwife and alert everyone else who needed to know. I closed the door and saw Penny helping Rarity over to the bed. As soon as she was settled, I placed a suppression ring over her horn. She gave me a dirty look for that but I said, “If you’re going to be hurling stuff around the room at every contraction, you need that ring now, not later.”

Calming Hooves turned up promptly and gave me a stern look. “I hope you remember what we discussed?”

“Yes, ma’am. Go fret elsewhere and leave you to your job until called.”

She smiled. “Excellent.”

Doctor Bellows arrived and gave me an acknowledging nod.

I leaned over the bed to give Rarity a long kiss. “I’ll be just down the hall if you need me, love. Remember, I held Trixie’s hoof through her delivery. I could do the same for you.”

“I’m afraid I’m a bit of a traditionalist, Mark. There are some activities where I’d prefer my stallion not be present. Don’t worry, darling. We’ll be fine.”

“Worrying is the sire’s job,” I replied before heading out with Penny.

The wait was longer than with Trixie but, other than that, the experience was much the same as when my first child was born… right down to the shock afterward.

“It’s a filly, but…” Calming Hooves began before being lost for words. She held out the crying unicorn foal.

She was gorgeous. She had the same white fur as her mother but with my blond mane. And she was an anthro. Rarity and I exchanged knowing glances. I then levitated the foal out of Calming’s grasp to place her in her mother’s embrace whereupon the filly quieted.

“It’s okay, Calming. Although we did not expect this result, we know why she’s like this. She was conceived in another dimension where ponies are bipedal and have hands instead of hooves on their upper limbs. I can assure you that she looks perfectly normal for that kind of pony. As long as you are satisfied with the health of mother and child, then all is well.”

I never expected to have to play the role of the calm and collected pony while the midwife dithered. She looked at least partly reassured. She shook her head and got her mind back on the job.

Doctor Bellows was equally surprised but gave the foal a clean bill of health, and there certainly wasn’t anything wrong with her appetite. As she fed, Rarity smiled and drew me closer.

“Thank you, darling,” she said softly.

I raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“For giving me a child that I didn’t know I wanted this badly. I have been so buried in my work that I had lost touch with my desires. To think that I was going to put off this miracle for years!”

“It doesn’t bother you that our foal is an anthro?”

She made a scoffing noise. “Your first child changes species and sex. Twilight’s is a hybrid ponyling. On that scale, Pearl hardly even rates.”

“Pearl?”

“You don’t like that name?”

I looked at the filly’s almost iridescent coat. “No – I think it suits her perfectly. Pearl Belle it is.”

“Not Pearl Wells as it would be in your home dimension?”

I grinned. “Just one look will be enough for everybody to guess that I’m her sire. I think we’ll stick with the matrilineal naming.”

Rarity giggled. “Yes, you do seem to bring the unusual. What do you think Penny will have?”

I shrugged. “As long as it isn’t an alicorn, I’m safe. I didn’t promise anything else. Speaking of Penny though, it’s time that we let the rest of the herd come see our daughter.”

Rarity nodded and I headed to the door.

When Luna and Celestia said that they had wound up all their commitments and obligations and would now be moving to Silver Shoals for their well-earned rest, I expressed surprise that they were going to some kind of retirement village. After they finished laughing themselves silly, they informed me that, while it was a popular destination for senior citizens, it was because of the resort there. The community was relatively new. I hadn’t known anything about it but it was a popular vacation spot for families. They assured me they would still come back to their rooms at the castle now and again. The Royal Sisters intended to buy a villa and spend a few weeks relaxing and recreating before moving on with their new goals in life. And what were those? Neither had decided yet.

Luna opened a nightclub.

I suppose it was obvious in retrospect. With her Night Court duties now in the Triarchs’ hooves, she had the opportunity to explore Canterlot’s nightlife at her leisure. The Anticyclone had touched off the interest in that kind of business and all it took was the right partner to get it off the ground with a bang.

Vinyl Scratch a.k.a. DJ-Pon-3 was very popular in the music scene and was constantly in demand by the various venues. However, Luna succeeded in tempting her into a partnership in a new nightclub where the unicorn would have a permanent gig. Plus the entertainer had a near unlimited budget to work with. Luna excitedly related some of Vinyl’s ideas for sets, dance floors, guest artists, lighting and special effects, etc. etc. Plus these would all rotate on a bi-weekly basis to keep the creative juices flowing. The fully staffed and equipped recording studio next door was a natural offshoot of the partnership.

We were invited to the opening night and it was spectacular. My ears might still be ringing if I hadn’t cast a spell to muffle the sound. The lighting effects were marvelous but there was one unique feature to the venue – the enormous skylight. Luna’s moon and stars were part of the atmosphere and, occasionally, she would make them dance too. It probably pissed off the astronomers but who was going to tell a goddess not to play with her possessions?

Celestia spent some time teaching at her school. With no royal duties, she was able to concentrate on giving more lectures on advanced spells and techniques. It wasn’t a full-time job though, and now that she wasn’t acting as my advisor, she seemed to me to be a bit restless.

Then one morning, I woke early for some unknown reason. I crept out of bed without disturbing Trixie or Penny and wandered over to the balcony doors. Dawn’s light shone through a slight gap in the curtains letting me see the way without turning on a lamp. I decided to step out and enjoy the fresh morning air, but I was startled to see that I had company. Celestia was there, watching the mist over the land light up in the sun’s rays as she lifted it over the horizon. She sat on the bare marble unperturbed by the chilly stone, but the solar alicorn was never cold even in the worst of blizzards. She turned her head at the sound of the balcony door opening and she smiled. She extended a wing and patted a pillow that was by her left side.

“Sit with me?”

This was too much of a coincidence that I would wake at this time and she was raising the sun from my balcony. I knew that Celestia wanted to have a private chat and I was happy to oblige. Besides, the dawn was rather pretty.

I settled my butt on the cushion and we both watched for a while as the country stirred with the new day. Eventually, Celestia said, “I’m leaving.”

Not wanting to jump to conclusions again, I asked, “Why?”

“After being bound to the throne for a thousand years, I desire nothing more than to get away from this city and have some adventures.”

“So, what’s kept you here?”

“It’s not easy to let go, Mark. For over ten centuries, I have done my best to guide and protect Our Little Ponies but the world has changed so much in the few years that I was gone. To my pleasure and my dismay, it has become so much better.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Dismay?”

“You, Trixie, and Twilight have accomplished so much in such a short time. That showed me that my rule had become stagnant. However, even now, I still have the urge to meddle. That is why I had to relinquish the role of advisor to Chrysalis despite your misgivings. You don’t need somepony mired in the past to pressure you into seeing things her way. Queen Chrysalis will force you to think for yourself and do your very best as a ruler of this ever-growing empire that you’ve built.”

“And what about the millennium of experience and knowledge that you will take away?”

“You have the library for the latter and Twilight is an excellent researcher. As for experience, the world has changed and the ways in which you will have to interact with it will be different from mine. However, if you truly need my advice, I won’t be totally incommunicado. Dragonfire letters will still reach me if necessary, but I have confidence that you can resolve problems without my help.”

I gave her a crooked smile. “Have you heard about all the blunders I have made too?”

Celestia giggled. “Yes, and I suggest that you learn from mine. I was your age once and just as uncertain and inexperienced as you. Worse yet, Luna and I were thrust into the role at a time of turmoil. You have the advantage of a stable nation and a plethora of friends to help. You’ll do fine.”

I pondered that briefly before giving her a flat look. “You arranged for me to wake up so you could give me this pep talk, didn’t you?”

The solar alicorn gave me that knowing smile and nodded.

“What about Trixie?”

“Princess Beatrix Lulamoon has confidence to spare, but Trixie needs you to be her best. Twilight Sparkle too. I see now that I was grooming Twilight to be too much like me. She needs to be herself to be a good ruler. King Thorax was an unanticipated twist but their union has already done more for changeling relations than decades of negotiations could have done. Nevertheless, the whole Triarchy hinges on working harmoniously together and you have been the linchpin of that coalition.”

“I’m just an ordinary person from another dimension who got thrust into an unlikely role by pure luck,” I protested.

“Was it luck though? You’ve acknowledged that you have been Harmony’s champion and your ascension to alicorn status backs that up. Is it possible that you were chosen as Equestria’s best hope for the future?”

“That thought makes me a little uncomfortable. I just tried to do my best under the circumstances.”

Celestia put her wing around my withers and hugged me. “Mark – look out there.” She gestured with her other wing. “Thousands of ponies, griffons, and other citizens are starting their day just as they have for years. They will work hard, provide for their families, and socialize with their friends. In short, they are all good citizens of this country. Equestria may benefit indirectly from their efforts but very few of them will actively try to build this nation. You, however, started doing so from the time you first arrived. You tried, and that’s a lot more than most will do.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

The solar alicorn laughed. “I think we both know better than that.”

I smirked. “So – you’re throwing me in the deep end.”

She nodded. “But you know how to swim and you don’t need me to be looking on anxiously from the side of the pool. This country is yours to rule now, Prince Mark Wells. Listen to your herd and your friends and you will do well. As for me, I’m going to explore some of this wonderful world of ours and keep out of your mane.”

“We’re going to miss you, Tia.”

“Oh, I’ll be back often enough to tell you about all the fun I’ve been having. Just don’t use my suite for storage, okay?”

I chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Celestia rose and gestured towards the wing of the castle which held the dining hall. “Care to join me for breakfast?”

I noticed that I had quite an appetite. “I’d love to.”

As we took flight to glide down to our destination, I realized that the flag had formally been passed to me. I only hoped that I would continue to be worthy.

Celestia was currently on safari in Zebrica with Daring Do. They were on the trail of an old legend that might explain the world’s origins. When I asked if it would be dangerous, she had enthusiastically replied, “I hope so!” Whatever floats your boat, Tia.

Raising the sun in the morning was a task that Celestia intended to continue. She felt that it was as much a part of her as breathing, so it wasn’t a burden. However, if the sun failed to rise one day, we would know that she was in trouble and needed help. I shuddered to think what could happen that would incapacitate her, but despite the current period of peace, Equestria was not a completely safe world yet. Maybe it would never be. Perhaps that was something we ponies and all the other sapient species needed to constantly strive for to give our lives meaning.

Starlight Glimmer finally put her hoof firmly down and demanded an assistant to act as Vice-Headmare of the School of Friendship. Enrolments had exploded and the workload for the new school year was going to double... at least! Luckily for her, Sunburst decided that his role as Flurry Heart’s minder was complete. The filly was old enough to leave in the care of the nannies that Thorax had assigned to the Crystal Principality when Skyla was born. The younger pegacorn was as much attached to them as Flurry had been to Sunburst at that age. Starlight’s best friend dived into his new role with glee. I always thought that he was well suited to be an educator.

About a month later, the long-delayed reopening of the Golden Oak Library was celebrated. With all the interruptions and turmoil of the past few years, Twilight’s efforts to accelerate the enchanted tree’s regrowth had been frequently put on hiatus. She had declared it ready to be re-stocked a few days ago and I had spent part of Saturday morning helping the purple alicorn put the final touches to it. Nyx and the other Crusaders had assisted in bringing over books that had been stored in the castle pending the completion of the library. Gallus, Smolder, and their friends brought contributions from the school to decorate it in the theme of racial harmony.

With only about half an hour to go before the mayor would officially dedicate Ponyville’s restored library, I stood back and took in the final result. “Hmm… This looks so familiar and yet it’s not the same.” Shelves were in different locations. There were four floors instead of three. Most noticeably, there was more room inside.

Twilight said, “You’re not wrong. Library trees are living things, so even though they are grown to suit their purpose, no two are ever the same. Sadly, that seems to apply to regenerating one from a stump as well.”

“Sadly?” I queried.

“I really wanted the library to be exactly how I remembered it. I started my new life here and it held some of my dearest memories.”

“So… you won’t be sleeping here tonight after all?”

She gave me a flat stare. “Let’s not start with the crazy talk!”

I chuckled. “Is your new Head Librarian ready yet?”

“I think Spike is still at Rarity’s boutique. She insisted that he needed to be dressed to look the part.”

At least his latest growth spurt would help him fill the role. My reptilian pal no longer resembled a baby dragon, a fact that some fillies had begun to notice. In particular, the younger sister of a certain fashionista. Would anything come of that? I sure couldn’t guess but I knew better than to bet against it.

It was always going to be a toss-up which of my mates was going to give birth first. Trixie may have conceived a day after Penny did, but twenty-four hours was nothing in terms of the length of a pony pregnancy. As it turned out, the bat pony’s water did break first but I think the excitement triggered off Trixie’s labor. My two next foals were delivered within minutes of each other. Which was first? We would always keep that a secret. We had no intention of one sibling claiming seniority over the other for the sake of a small fraction of an hour.

Penny had a colt – a bat pony like herself. Thestrals didn’t normally have a colorful range of hues like other ponies, but my mate found our son’s fern-green coat to be quite acceptable. There certainly wouldn’t be any doubt about who had sired him! Our biggest headache was giving him a name as we had different ideas about what worked. Eventually, we settled on Verdant Wells, and by ‘we’, I mean that Penny refused to budge once we narrowed down the possibilities. I decided that I could live with nicknaming my son as ‘Verd’. Penumbra countered that I could also live with a smack upside the head every time I did so. Yep, she always found a way to get in the last word.

Trixie had a unicorn filly – blue of coat and blond of mane with gold stripes – whom my wife named Allura. I didn’t argue because I thought it was a beautiful and appropriate name. After waiting a couple of hours, we decided that there weren’t any surprises to be had right now. Time would tell if any would pop up in the future, I supposed. Trixie declared that our next child would be a son. When asked what she would do if it was a daughter again, she merely shrugged and told me that she would keep trying until we had a colt. She had promised me lots of foals, after all. It’s a good thing that the castle has plenty of rooms to spare!

Was I worried about having so many children? The only thing I feared was that I wouldn’t have enough time for all of them. However, I had lots of friends who supported me and my family, and it was the Magic of Friendship that would ensure that they would grow up happy and healthy. Who could ask for more?

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Another chapter so soon? You lucky stiffs!

Art credits:
Pearl Belle, Allura, and Verdant Wells by Foxenawolf.
Rave Luna by GrayPaint.
Sit With Me? by NadnerbD.

Music credits:

Discord by Eurobeat Brony
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDMGv3hNMes

And the more popular remix by The Living Tombstone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOkdSj8Iz0I

And as usual, if you'd like to show a little monetary appreciation, send us a Ko-Fi!

Chapter 98 - Relationships New and Old

Friday rolled around as it always did, except that my herdmates were especially cagey about plans for the weekend. Last Sunday, after I alerted the press, I took everyone to the Neighagra Falls Amusement Park and Mini Golf Center. The foals and adults had a wonderful time between all the rides and prizes won. The photo of Regis planting an ice cream cone on his grandmother’s schnoz made headlines coast-to-coast. Plus it raised the visibility and profile of the flagging theme park which is why I chose that destination.

This weekend was Chrysalis’ chance to decide what we would do. My not-so-subtle probes for hints were shot down. All I knew was that we would not be going to Ponyville and the activity involved only me and the changeling queen. To be honest, I was intrigued and a bit excited by this “Mystery Date.”

As soon as Day Court ended, Luna trotted into the throne room. “Art thou ready?”

“Be seeing you,” said Penumbra without preamble before trotting out into the hall.

No waiting around wondering when the show was supposed to start. I smiled. “Sure, I’m game.”

Luna led me through the corridors of the castle until we reached her sister’s chambers. Because Celestia was out of town, no guards were posted here but the doors carried wards to prevent unauthorized entry. And then we just… stood.

“Should we go in?” I inquired.

“Nay.”

I sighed. My earlier assessment might have been premature. Perhaps this was meant to increase my anticipation? Still, might as well use the opportunity.

I cantered up and down the hallway, stopping to stretch my muscles now and then. Sitting for hours at a time always dropped my energy level to the point that I only wanted to eat and go to sleep, not that I ever allowed myself to do so. A little brisk exercise helped both my brain and body wake up again. I threw in some grunts and groans for Luna’s benefit. She cocked her head at my almost over-the-top antics but chose to say nothing. Speaking of getting something to eat, I definitely had an appetite. I hope this Mystery Date included a picnic or a restaurant.

After ten minutes or so, I heard the telltale sound of buzzing coming up the hallway. Seconds later, Chrysalis flew around a bend in the corridor. When she touched down, I couldn’t suppress an appreciative whistle. The changeling queen’s chitin practically glowed with reflected torchlight. Her hair was done up in a loose bun and curls. Emerald pins and a bright green bow held her manestyle in place. Chrysalis had spent the time making herself presentable and it showed. She moved in for a kiss which I happily returned. She then looked to Luna. “My apologies for my tardiness. Finishing touches—”

Luna interrupted her with a negating wave of her hoof. “Nay. ’Tis the mare’s prerogative to require as much time as thou needest. Shall we continue?”

Chrysalis nodded to Luna then stared at me. Glancing at the Night Alicorn showed me she was doing the same. It didn’t take long for me to get the hint.

I changed into long-maned Marklestia as I reached for the door and smoothly pushed it open. Because my magical aura was identical to the Solar Monarch’s, this was the easiest way to gain entry. Not surprisingly, both mares stood near the room’s sole bookcase and gave me the same look, though with bigger smiles.

I rolled my eyes. “Well, since you both asked so nicely.”

Moments later, the bookcase swung outwards an inch with a dull click. Luna’s magic rotated the bookcase out of the way as I backed up from the invisible hole in the wall. I placed my glowing horn into the now revealed portal, causing the torches in Celestia’s secret chamber to light in sequence. Not waiting for my escorts, I trotted forward until I faced the twin bookcases on the far end of the chamber. I had a pretty good idea why Chrysalis asked Luna to come here today.

I used my magic to gently swing the two bookcases outward, revealing the area behind them. The Night Alicorn stepped past me, not stopping until she buried her horn in the revealed hole in the wall. The familiar WHUMP of air pressure stabilizing caused my mane to blow backward.

Chrysalis trotted past me. “Your other form, please.”

“Your wish is law, my lady.” I dutifully shifted to pink-haired Marklestia as I followed my herdmate.

Luna smirked at both of us. “You two youngsters have fun.”

I followed my wife’s shapely behind until we emerged into Luna’s grotto. Chrysalis didn’t need to light her horn to navigate the twisting passageway. Some changeling instinct, perhaps? I knew I couldn’t do the same.

The familiar blue, green, and purple glow from up ahead prompted me to cut off my illumination spell. My herdmate extended her wings as she reached the top of the ribbon-stone flow plateau in the center of the cave.

As I came up to her side, I saw her eyes were closed but she had a wide smile. “Ahhh! So good to be in a proper chamber underground. It’s been too long. Let us endeavor to convince Luna…” She trailed off and looked my form over. She growled once. “I meant your other, other form.”

I nodded and changed into my short-haired Marklestia body.

Chrysalis blinked. “Really? Another one? I had no idea. Just how many are there?”

“Only one more. My short, inadequate, much-less-sexy stallion form.”

“Adequate enough. Change, please.”

I snorted. I should know better than to fish for compliments from Chrysalis. With a quick flash of my innate magic, I complied with her request.

She smiled. “Come. You have been here before, my stallion. Show me around.”

I thought that was very sweet. Her senses likely told her more about the environs than I would ever notice, but I recognized when she was making an effort to be polite. I dutifully escorted her closer to the stream that divided the chamber, telling her what I knew about how the fantastic rock shapes on the other side came to be. I led her upstream to the icy pool near the far wall.

Chrysalis gasped in delight and took two steps into the natural basin. She lit her horn and five wriggling white forms levitated out of the water. Before I could say a word, the tiny fishes entered her mouth and she chewed with a loud, “Mmmmmmm!”

I stammered. “Chrysalis. Those cave fishes have been here for ages… most likely from before Luna’s banishment. They are an irreplaceable part of this grotto’s ecosystem.”

My herdmate shrugged. “Not anymore.”

I blinked. “What do you think Luna will say when she learns you ate them?”

Chrysalis smiled. “I will tell her they were delectable.”

I face-hoofed. The concepts of endangered species and ecological preservation were completely lost on my wife.

She said, “Shall we continue the tour? Unless you want to join me for a dip in the pool? The water is quite cold.”

I did not. “One last feature.” I pointed my hoof at the blunt column of rock at the center of the cave. “Fly up there, please.”

The changeling queen blinked then did as I requested. She found the four depressions where she could place her hooves and alighted on the rock. “Why did you… Oh!” Chrysalis craned her neck upward.

I smiled as I looked around. The echoing acoustics of the domed ceiling again made themselves apparent. “I’m glad you picked this place for our date. The last time I was here, everypony had to entertain the others with a song.” I stared at my herdmate. “I hear you have a lovely singing voice.”

Chrysalis fluttered her wings for a few moments until she got them under control. She pursed her lips while looking at me before raising her head and closing her eyes.

One fine day we'll see
a wisp of smoke arising
over the extreme verge of the sea's horizon,
and afterwards the ship will appear…

Chrysalis sang about waiting for her stallion… about hiding the love she holds for him. She sang about how he would express his love while she could not. Despite her lyrical protestations, her mane and wings shimmered brightly. As the last note faded away, I clopped my hooves. I was very touched. Did she blush a little? It was hard to tell in the dim light cast by the lichens.

She landed next to me and shooed me with both forehooves. “Go. Praise your lovely wife for all to hear.”

“ ‘All’ meaning ‘you’?”

“Precisely. Off you go.”

I landed on the stone column and thought. What would be a good choice for this stimulating and perplexing mare? The words of John Denver came to me and I began.

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again.

When I finished, I looked down to see Chrysalis waving for me to join her next to the pond. As I did so, I saw her smile was warm and welcoming. We wrapped our forelegs around each other and kissed for a while.

When we stopped for air, I asked, “So, you brought me here because you want another princess?”

She sighed. “No, not yet. Tonight is devoted strictly to our pleasure. To my immense surprise, I am enjoying this respite from the responsibility of managing a hive every hour of every day. Until then, Diadem and Shiny Button are enough for me. Before winter, I will set up our hive in the crystal caverns under Canterlot. When it is time, I will create common drones without your seed.”

I pricked my ears. “So Shiny Button was an attempt to gain a daughter?”

“Yes. Changeling princes are exceedingly rare. It was thought they could not lead a hive so... uh…”

I finished the sentence for her. “… typically, a queen would have them killed.”

She nodded.

“But you did not.”

My herdmate shifted in my forearms and didn’t look me in the eyes. “I have never been much of one to follow tradition.”

I smiled. “Not to mention that you loved him. The last thing you wanted to do was follow your mother’s example.”

That earned me a glare. She ground her fangs. “I cannot overemphasize this. Talking about my mother is the most unromantic thing I can imagine.”

I chuckled and leaned closer. “Your mother and her clueless stallion neglected you and your sisters. I’m swearing to you here and now that this will never happen with our children.”

Chrysalis blinked and swallowed. She pulled me into a hug. Softly, she said, “Thank you.”

After a bit, she resumed kissing me which I returned with gusto. Just when it was getting steamy, she pulled back. “Wait. I cannot...” She caught her breath. “This is important. I cannot tell you how pleased I am, husband.”

I likewise took a while to cool down. After taking a deep breath, I cocked my head. “What did I do right this time?”

She laughed then looked me in the eyes. “You have not requested that I take another form. It is… I am grateful that you find my true form appealing. I was not sure that you would.”

I shrugged. “You have an exotic beauty all your own.” There was that blush again. “You only have to take on a pony form when you want us to breed, correct?”

Chrysalis looked up and furrowed her brow for a moment. “Ah, I could see why you think so. No, that is traditional but not required. My innermost depths need to take on pony form but nothing else. Such a transformation is well within the ability of queens.”

Huh. The more you know. I leaned forward to resume our make-out session only to be stopped by a hoof.

“Ah, ah. Patience, my stallion. I had a second reason for choosing tonight of all nights.”

I nodded my head, inviting her to continue.

“Today is an anniversary worth celebrating. Exactly a year ago, you introduced me to my near-sister Postgena and the hive savior Cadance.”

The hairs on the back of my neck rose and my eyes went wide. “Wait. That means—”

The familiar boom of a party cannon went off somewhere in the cave. The acoustics made it sound like the noise came from everywhere at once. Chrysalis screamed and flung me away. As I tumbled through the air, I opened my wings. Looking down, I saw the pond below me… and accelerated directly into it.

By the time I broke the surface, the cavern was unrecognizable. Sparklers lit every corner of the cave, multi-colored paper streamers drifted down, and my herdmate was sprawled on the ground, holding her chest and gasping for air. Pinkie Pie sang a warp-speed birthday song from the top of the rock spire, completely oblivious to the chaos she had caused.

I shivered from the cold as I hauled myself from the icy water. The Element of Laughter pronked over, kissing Chrysalis then me on the forehead. “You two have fun! Come by Sugar Cube Corner for a free cake this weekend! Anything but the Every-Flavor-Cake. That needs twenty-four-hour advance notice. You two don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Pinkie pulled a scooter out of her mane, plopped a spelunker’s helmet on her head complete with flashlight, and zipped up the far tunnel that I presumed led to Luna’s private quarters. The moment she wheeled out of sight, every sparkler went out at once.

I plunked my wet form down next to my herdmate. In stages, the panic left her eyes and her breathing slowed. Finally, she let out a shuddering breath and gave me an unconvincing smile. “Well, as you say, ‘that happened’.” Her smile turned more genuine as she stood and put her forelegs around my neck. “Now then, where were we?”

I growled. “We ‘were’ in the mood, but now we no longer ‘are’.”

“Oh come now. You stallions are all the same. Are you telling me you are just going to leave me unsatisfied?”

“Yep. Pretty much.”

Now it was her turn to growl. “That is unacceptable. Dry yourself off. Lick your pasterns. Do whatever it takes to fix this situation.”

I stamped down my burst of joy. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

The emotivore had seen my fleeting emotion and smiled. “I insist.”

I lit my horn and grinned. Chrysalis yelped as my magic picked her up and levitated her over the pool.

She gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

“I might.” With a shove, I tossed her in.

After a surprisingly long time, my wife’s head rose slowly from the pool. Her carefully styled mane was now a sodden mess. I didn’t need to be a changeling to understand what her bared fangs said about her emotional state. A small white fish fell out of her left nostril, re-entering the pool with a small splash.

I gasped and put on a big smile. "Oh! So you found one still alive! How clever of you. Luna will be so pleased."

Chrysalis put one foot on the shore. “Nopony will be able to identify your remains.”

I grinned wider. “Only if you catch me!” With a delighted laugh, I cast an illumination spell and zoomed up the passageway we had taken to get here. Soon, I reached the portal to Celestia’s chamber… or I would have if it had not been a blank wall of stone. I pressed a hoof to it. There was no escape.

“Oh, husband.” Chrysalis’ sing-song voice echoed off the tunnel walls. A lance of fear shot through my heart. I turned around only to feel a glob of resin spatter against my horn. My light spell petered out and I lifted my hoof to break the gunk away. My wife’s voice brought me up short.

“Don’t even think it.” The only illumination came from the green glow emanating from her horn and eyes. “I would prefer not to glue all but the important bits of you to the wall. However, I will if I must.”

I lowered my hoof. “Ahh. That’s good to hear.”

“Indeed.” She moved close enough for me to feel her breath. “I prefer to reserve that for the third date.”

I swallowed as my brain started working again. I knew Chrysalis loved to be in charge. Might as well roll with it. “Well… since we’re both warmed up again, which was my intention all along…” Her eyes narrowed. “… shall we go back to the cavern?”

Chrysalis’ twisted her head around as she looked about, dimly illuminating the walls and ceiling. Suddenly, the light from her horn and eyes winked out. “No. This is perfect.”

I hesitated. “It is?”

“Yes. Are you claustrophobic?”

I shook my head, only to realize this was a pointless endeavor in pitch blackness. “No. Not yet, anyway.”

“Outstanding! I love cozy places. Remind me to go podding with you sometime. Maybe our fourth date.” Her horn flashed for a moment and I felt a slight breeze tickle my face. “There. Now we will have fresh air as long as I keep you here.”

Well, this was her date which meant she was calling the shots. Time to swim with the tide.

Much later and after a few unintentional bumps and bruises, my mate lay in my embrace as we took another much-needed rest.

I squeezed her with my forelegs. “Your exoskeleton gives you an unfair advantage. Lovemaking is inherently more comfortable for you in these cramped quarters.”

“Hmm. As I suspected, the overwhelming drive to mate with your queen allows you to ignore such minor discomforts.”

So much for eliciting any sympathy. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to the main chamber?”

“Quite sure.”

A contented silence descended on us once more. I frowned as I realized something. “It must be a couple of hours since we got here. I thought my herdmates and Luna would have let us out by now.”

The mare in my arms hummed. “Yes, I remember them talking to Luna about a ‘vacation from Mark.’ Most likely an all-night party at the dance club.”

I sighed. “Followed by a long sleep to ward off the hangovers.” My stomach growled. “Did you happen to bring any food for me on this Mystery Date? I’ve been burning plenty of calories, you know.”

I felt her cringe. “Oh… I am sorry, husband. I knew I would be feasting on our love and… I simply forgot about your needs. That was most inconsiderate of me.”

After a while, Chrysalis said, “Although, if you like, I can create some Royal Jelly for you.”

My flat stare was lost on her in the darkness. “Which you generate by vomiting?”

“Yes. But it is a very special vomit only fed to princes and princesses. Packed full of changeling magic along with essential vitamins and minerals.”

“And you have no idea what this would do to an alicorn or a stallion, do you?”

“Hmm… As your co-ruler Twilight would say, it’s always a good time for Science!”

“No, thank you,” I growled. My stomach grumbled unhappily. Apparently, it was more than willing to risk me turning into a drone or a tree or something even crazier.

I had a thought. “ ‘Delectable’ you said?”

Chrysalis horn lit dimly. She looked into my face, a smile spreading across her lips. “Absolutely!”

I snorted as I gruffly said, “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Chrysalis squeed like a foal before giving me a long kiss. She reached up and broke the resin off my horn. “Come on then.”

Once again, I was following her shapely rump down the tunnel. “You know Luna is going to be pissed. My herdmates will tell me you are a bad influence.”

“Oh, please.” She scoffed. “A reputation for a little evil makes one both sexy and alluringly unpredictable. You won’t be able to keep the mares’ hooves off of you now.”

The next day, I found out that my prediction about Luna was true, at least. Time would tell about my ‘enhanced’ reputation.

Months went by with nothing more concerning than the occasional diplomatic crisis or looming budget. Trixie and I planned on taking our herd on an extended vacation with our children while things were this peaceful. As soon as the current school term finished, we would be heading off to Silver Shoals resort for ten days. Twilight had already agreed to mind the throne in exchange for taking Regis and Nyx along with us. Seemed like a fair arrangement.

This morning’s court session was not proving to be anything special. I liked these days though because I had fewer of the nobility pushing their agendas and more of the ordinary citizens seeking an audience with their rulers. Surprisingly few of the matters brought for my ruling were petty in nature and I enjoyed dealing with them for the most part. I had just handled a mare’s petition when I heard a small commotion coming from the antechamber next to the Throne Room. A moment later, the door opened to reveal a Royal Guard fully decked out in plate armor herding a unicorn stallion into the room. My eyebrows rose when I recognized the Guard as the one who was always stationed outside of the mirror portal room. The unicorn, however, puzzled me. He looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t see his cutie mark to give me any more hints because it was covered by a pair of badly fitting sweatpants. They seemed to be giving him trouble as he stumbled on the way over to me.

“What is this, Sergeant?” I asked as they drew up to the dais.

“Your Highness, this pony is an unscheduled interdimensional arrival. He has no form of identification. As per protocol, I have brought him to the Triarch on duty.”

I exchanged glances with Chrysalis who appeared equally mystified. “He is feeling confused and uncertain,” she advised me.

I had another look at the stallion who was staring at me intently. He had an orange-brown coat and a dark blue mane with mid-blue streaks. “Do I know you, My Little Pony?”

He cocked his head and looked unsure. “Is that you, Mark?”

My ears and eyebrows shot up in recognition of his voice. “Phil?!” Now I recognized the looks, although I had last seen them on a mare in another dimension. I leaped from the throne to glide down and land right in front of the stallion. I threw my forelegs around Phil and hugged him fiercely.

He returned the embrace before drawing back and grinning at me. “So, I knew I didn’t imagine seeing you in my dreams years ago.” His eyes narrowed. “Any doubts I had were put to rest when I pooped out diamonds the whole next day. Do you know how freaking big the first one was?”

I smirked and looked up to the ceiling. “Ah. The shit you have to put up with to be my friend.”

“Not funny.”

I shrugged. “And you are very welcome, by the way. It’s not every day that a fortune falls in your lap. Or in your case—”

“Out of my lap. Still not funny.”

I chuckled. “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on what constitutes Equestrian humor. Anyway…” I clopped him on the shoulder with a hoof. “What are you doing here, Phil? How did you get here?”

“Remember that mirror that you told me to hold onto? It’s in my bedroom. Something looked odd about it tonight…” He trailed off as he noticed the bright sunlight pouring through the windows. “Well, it was night. Anyway, it almost looked like the glass itself was glowing. I thought something had gotten onto the surface and I went to wipe it with a rag but my hand disappeared into it.”

“Let me guess – you overbalanced and fell through?”

He gave me a flat look. “Do I look that clumsy? You’re Captain Klutz, remember?”

I blushed a little. “So – what did happen?”

He shrugged. “I got too curious and experimented. I put more of my arm through, then I tried a foot which also didn't cause a reaction. It’s when I decided to put my face into it to find out if I could see anything that I got pulled in. Then I found myself sprawling on the floor in a room full of mirrors and looking like this.”

“The same thing happened to me, more or less,” I said, declining to expound upon my inglorious arrival. I faced the Royal Guard whose name will forever be unremembered and said, “Thank you, Sergeant. You may return to your post.”

He saluted and marched away.

I then addressed everyone else in the room. “Court is finished for today. My apologies to those still waiting. I will prioritize your petitions at my next session.” I turned to the Sergeant-at-Arms and said, “Please send word to my other herdmates that I wish to have them meet me in the Royal Sunroom as soon as it is practical. Also, inform Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“At once, Your Highness.” He saluted and departed.

“Highness?” Phil asked, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Since when did you become a king?”

“Prince, actually. I am one of the three reigning Triarchs of Equestria, the nation that you’re now in. By the way, you’re not on Earth anymore.”

“No shit, Sherlock?!” he said as he rolled his eyes. “You didn’t answer the question.”

“That’s a heck of a long story and I’ll tell you about it when we’re somewhere less public and more comfortable.” I looked over at Chrysalis. “Coming, dear?”

“Of course, husband.”

Apparently, Phil hadn’t paid much notice to the changeling as he had been focused on me, but now his eyes widened as he stared at Chrysalis and took in her glossy black chitin and sparkling wings and mane. When she gave him an amused smile that accentuated her fangs, he blinked for a long moment before turning back to me.

“You’re married?”

I said, “Phil, this is Chrysalis, Queen of the Canterlot changeling hive, Royal Advisor, and my herdmate. Chrysalis, this is Phillip Martine, my best friend from Earth.”

“Any friend of our husband is welcome in our bed,” she replied graciously.

“Say what?!” I exclaimed.

Chrysalis turned to me. “This is the one that wanted to mate with you in the worst way, is it not?”

“Ex-squeeze me?!” yelled Phil.

I sighed. “No, that was a different Phil Martine.”

“Wait. What now?”

Chrysalis shrugged. “You don’t have to be shy, husband. Rest assured I will not judge your personal tastes.”

Phil’s mouth opened and closed as he stared at me. No words came out.

I face-hoofed. “Phil, it’s a long story. Think the Mirror, Mirror episode from the Original Series.”

My friend sat down and his mood changed instantly. “Oh, that’s alright, then.”

Chrysalis said, “Regardless, I can taste your joy at having him here, dear.”

“Taste?” Phil queried.

“Changelings are emotivores, Phil,” I explained. “They consume positive emotions to sustain themselves.”

“You’re shitting me?”

“Nope. Just one of the many strange things you’ll have to get used to in a world filled with magic. I’ll explain more soon.” I put a hoof on his withers and started urging him towards the antechamber.

He stumbled again as a leg of his sweatpants dropped and nearly tangled his hind legs.

“You might want to take off those pants,” I said. “They’re too big for you and only get in the way.”

“Do all you horses walk around naked?”

“Ponies, not horses. Try not to insult anyone with that term. To answer your question though, yes, almost invariably. There are some fashions and formal attire like my vest, or protective clothing, but for the most part, ponies prefer to be butt naked. Believe me – you’ll attract far more curious looks wearing those pants than if you take them off.”

Phil looked uncertain. “I’m not sure if that helps much. Especially with that bat-winged pony right behind me.”

Penny grinned. “Aw! Don’t you want me to check out your goods, stallion?”

Phil blushed profusely.

“Not helping, Penny,” I chided her. Turning back to Phil, I said, “Phil, I’d like you to meet Penumbra, my head bodyguard, herdmate, and court jester.”

“Somepony has to keep your audiences awake,” she shot back.

Phil snorted. “Dang! Sounds like she’s your wife too!”

“Close enough,” I admitted. “Penny is technically my herdmate, as I said. It’s a legal euphemism though.”

“You have two wives?”

“Four, actually. She’s number three.”

Phil came to a halt and stared at me. “Four?! How did that happen? And what happened to the happy bachelor I knew long ago?”

“Like I said – long story.” I lit up my horn and gave him a telekinetic push in the rear to get him going again.

He jumped in surprise. “And that’s another thing – I don’t recall seeing a horn when you visited me.”

“Yeah, that’s relatively new. I was only a pegasus then but now I’m an alicorn.”

“You can change? Am I going to change again?”

I chuckled. “Not likely. You won’t believe what you have to go through to ascend to my status.”

Phil stumbled again as the sweatpants worked their way down his legs. I rolled my eyes and lifted him in my magic. “Penny?”

My herdmate knew a cue when she heard one. She grasped a leg of the pants in each of her forehooves. “Yoink!” A moment later, she laid the offending clothing over Phil’s back and I set him back down.

Phil glared at me. “Seriously? You pants a guy in public?”

I smirked back at him. “I seem to recall you doing that to me back in high school.”

“That was on a dare and you know it!”

“Yeah, but I never did get my revenge. Not that I have now, actually. Like I said, nopony will notice.”

“I dunno,” Penny said. “Not a bad view from back here.”

“Really not helping, Penny,” I said with a sigh.

Despite being in an unfamiliar body, Phil very quickly got the hang of clamping down his tail over his privates. That sure brought back memories of my first days in Equestria.

We came to the stairs that led down to the private section of the castle and I watched keenly as Phil attempted to negotiate them, prepared to catch him if necessary. I nearly misstepped due to my distraction. Ah, stairs – my old nemesis waited patiently for my inevitable failure. To my chagrin, Phil managed them first try. I am never going to tell him how many times I face-planted on them. Now if only Trixie didn’t spill the beans.

Trixie was waiting for us in the sunroom when we arrived. I saw that she had fetched her fancy cape and a few other embellishments. She had to have teleported to do all that in the brief time between being informed and our getting here. Trixie stepped up and gave our visitor a regal smile.

“We hear that we have a very special visitor, husband. Care to introduce us?”

The royal ‘We’? Okay. “Phil, I would like you to meet my wife, Princess Beatrix Lulamoon. Trixie, may I present my best friend in two worlds, Phillip Martine.”

Phil bowed his head and said, “A pleasure and a privilege to meet you, Your Highness.”

My wife looked at me smugly. “This stallion knows how to treat royalty properly. Much better than when we first met.”

I gave her a flat look. “We both know how things were back then. Don’t tempt me to give him details.”

Trixie waved a hoof dismissively. “Trixie has ordered refreshments. They will be here soon. Make yourself comfortable, Bill Martini.”

I saw my friend’s eyebrow rise and I chuckled. It was his turn to get the Trixie experience. I gestured towards a lounge chair. “Hop on. Don’t worry about the hooves.”

Phil had just made himself comfortable when there was a familiar flash-pop of teleportation. Twilight looked around and spotted the new stallion.

“Omigosh! Are you really Mark’s old friend?”

Phil was still trying to recover from the surprise of a pony materializing right in front of him and now had her muzzle mere inches from his.

“Calm down, Sparks,” I said. “Phil, this hyperactive mare is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship and the third in our Triarchy. She’s also our resident bookworm and mad scientist.”

For some reason, the latter didn’t reassure him too much. He gave her a nervous grin and said, “Pleased to meet you, Your Highness.”

“Just Twilight will do. How did you get here? The Royal Guard who informed me of your arrival said something about a mirror. Is it the same one as Mark used? How did you get it working? Why did it take so long? Did you experience any unusual effects? Is the—”

“Twi! Give the stallion room to breathe!” I scolded her.

The alicorn blushed. “Sorry about that.”

“We’re going to have a chat over some food and drink that Trixie has ordered. We’ll all learn the details in due course.”

“That should be most elucidating,” came the voice of my herdmate from the doorway.

I looked around to see Rarity as she swept into the room, adorned lavishly in one of her signature socializing outfits. Her yellow silk dress was accentuated with dark blue sapphires along the hemline. A wide-brimmed white sunhat completed the look. Somehow, I thought I could guess what had delayed her.

“I figured you might be busy either in Ponyville or Canterlot,” I said.

“But not too busy for your friends, darling! Are you going to introduce us, dear?” she asked as she kissed me on the cheek.

“Of course. Rarity, I would like you to meet Phillip Martine. Phil, this is Rarity Belle, fashionista extraordinaire, and my second wife.”

“I have heard so much about you from Mark. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, darling,” Rarity gushed.

“Likewise, I’m sure.” He looked around at everyone. “So – these are all your wives?”

Twilight snorted and giggled. “No, just those four. I’m married to somepony else.”

“Oops. Sorry.”

“No problem, Mister Martine.”

“Call me Phil, please. Now – can anybody tell me what’s going on?”

I replied, “I’m eager to know too, but our refreshments are here. I suggest we wait until we all have something to drink and snack on.”

The maidservant, an earth pony mare named Lace Doily, pushed a cart into the room and bobbed her head in a curtsey to us. She then served up our preferred beverages and food. When she came to Phil, she asked him what he would like to have.

“Er… coffee and one of those chocolate chip cookies, please.” He watched in fascination as she dexterously poured him a mug of coffee then hoofed over a plate with a huge cookie on it. I knew what was coming. As soon as she departed, he looked at us in bewilderment. “How does she do that without hands?”

I forestalled Trixie’s smart-ass comment. “That’s something that I learned early. I call it tactile kinesis, but everypony else just calls it magic hooves. It’s quite simple, actually. You just touch something…” I put my forehoof on my mug. “…and you will it to lift up.” I did so and brought the mug to my lips to take a sip of the steaming hot tea. “As long as you believe you are able to pick it up, you can.”

“What? Even if I believe I can lift a boulder?”

I nodded. “Yep. If you’re strong enough, you can. My earth pony friend, Applejack, would be able to show you how easily she can do it. That’s nothing compared to what her big brother can do though.”

Phil looked at his mug and carefully put a hoof on it. He cautiously raised it and his eyebrows shot up as he successfully brought along the mug.

“Told you it was easy,” I said as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Still feels weird. Great coffee though.”

“One more thing that you might want to know. See the frog of my hoof?” I held it up so he could see the soft underside.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“If you want to do fine manipulation, you can control your frog to do delicate work. That takes a lot of practice though, but once you’ve mastered it, it’s almost as good as fingers. Of course, as a unicorn, you can also use telekinesis for that purpose, but you don’t get as good a feel for the work.”

“Enough about hooves! Can we learn how Phil got here, please?” Twilight whined.

I chuckled and said, “Tell them what you know, Phil.”

He repeated what he had told me earlier. Twilight looked thoughtful.

I asked, “How come the portal suddenly worked? Celestia and Luna’s didn’t.”

The purple alicorn appeared to be chagrinned. “I believe I overlooked something. The Royal Sisters couldn’t come back because the portal on their side had been broken, along with the magic link to its partner here. However, Phil’s never was. The portals are programmed to re-establish a connection to refresh the link at regular intervals. That's what happened when you first came to Equestria. While the mirror on this side was broken, I completely repaired it in an attempt to get you home, but the old enchantments were broken irreparably. The new enchantments didn’t know where to connect to, but the Earth-side one did. Phil’s portal connected as it was programmed to do, and here he is.”

“Twilight – it’s been over six years since I came here. Are the intervals between connections normally that long?”

She shrank down a bit. “No,” she replied in a small voice.

I gave her a flat look. “How long?”

“Depending on the time differential between universes – between six and twenty months approximately.”

“So, there were no less than two other times and probably a lot more that I could have gone home?”

She hesitated before nodding. “Yes.”

I stared at her for a long moment before I burst out laughing. “Looks like I was fated to stay. Good thing that it worked out for the best. Anyway, Phil, now we know how you got here and why. It’s time you learned what has happened to me since I disappeared.”

I didn’t go into great detail because it would take too long. We could expound upon my adventures later. At one point, Gallus arrived along with Smolder. The fact that I had an adopted griffon son was considerably overshadowed by Phil's awe at him having a dragon girlfriend. However, when my children were brought in by their nannies, it brought the focus back to me.

“Geez, Mark, you’ve sure been busy!”

“Blame my mares – they all wanted foals.”

Phil said, “That must have put a crimp on your carefree social life.”

“Not really. My wives are my life now and I was happy to oblige them.”

He laughed and his grin told me he knew just how much “obliging” I did. I raised a wing, curled back all but one primary feather, and gave him ‘The Bird’. I think he was a lot more shocked at that impossible display of feather manipulation than the rude gesture. It had taken me ages to gain the level of control that pegasi learned as foals, but while it was useful for handling things, my proudest moment was when I had first mastered that gesture. Sue me.

Gemini chose that moment to complain that they were hungry. I replied that it was almost dinnertime.

Phil’s eyes widened and he sprang up out of his chair. “Oh, crap! I’ve been here for ages and I’ve left Rosa in the lurch. How do I get back home?”

“Whoa! Don’t panic, Phil. That shouldn’t be a problem, right Twilight?”

She nodded. “Even if it closed already, we know how to open them at will. Let’s go to the portal room right now and get you home.” She got up and headed toward the door.

“Thanks, Twilight. It’s been great meeting you all and I hope to see you again soon. Goodbye!” He trotted after the purple alicorn while I accompanied him. Penny, as always, was my shadow.

I said, “You know, we’ve spent all this time talking about what has been happening with me these past years, but nothing about you.”

Phil kept his eyes forward, focusing on his gait. I remembered how distractions had made me stumble back when I had first arrived. He replied, “To tell you the truth, I had a lot of trouble after you disappeared, especially because I was the executor of your estate. I was the last one to see you, of course, and that cast suspicion on me for a while when you were reported as a missing person. If it wasn’t for your home security cameras showing that I had left and had never come back, I could have been in serious trouble. The catch is that those same cameras never saw you leave and I only figured out why after your visit. Anyway, with nothing to go on, you became a cold case and I went on with my life without my best friend.”

“Sorry that had to happen to you, Phil.”

He chuckled. “Nah, it was my fault in the first place. If I hadn’t persuaded you to buy that mirror, all this would never have happened.”

“That’s true. Okay – guilty conscience assuaged.”

He poked his tongue out at me before continuing. “Anyway, I tried to carry on with my life as normal, but I soon realized how big a gap you had left. It took me a while to adjust my lifestyle to start socializing with others and make new friends.”

“I got lucky in that I was practically thrown in among some of the friendliest beings in the universe. It must have been a lot harder for you.”

“Yeah, but it was worth it. I didn’t know it at the time but we were both in a bit of a rut, doing the same things week after week. Sure, we were happy, but we weren’t getting the most out of life.”

I nodded. “Preaching to the choir, pal. Coming here was a real eye-opener for me too. These past few years have made me grow more as a person than my entire life back on Earth. By the way, how long have I been gone from there?” When he gave me a puzzled look, I explained, “Time runs at different rates in other realities. Some are almost in synch while others are wildly different. The first that I encountered moved at a tenth of the rate that this one does.”

“Weird. Let’s see… it will have been over five and a half years now. Nearly six.”

“That means Earth is just a tad slower than Equestria. So, when I visited you in that dream, we were mere days out of synch.”

“Sounds about right. How did you get into my dream anyway if you couldn’t come through the portal?”

“Remember me mentioning someone named Discord while we were chatting earlier today? He enabled it. He’s the God of Chaos in this universe, so don’t piss him off.”

Phil stopped and stared at me. “You know a literal god?”

“Yep. He’s a great DM for our game nights too.” I prodded Phil to make him keep moving.

My friend shook his head in wonder. “It’s going to take me ages to process all this.”

I chuckled. “And we’ve only covered the highlights. Anyway, what happened after our chat?”

“You mean after the diamond diarrhea?”

I grinned. “Yeah, that.”

Phil smiled. “I gotta tell you, Mark – that was an awesome parting gift. At least, it was after I went through the pain of trying to sell them. I had no provenance, but they didn’t match anything else on record. The gemologist couldn’t claim the diamonds were artificial because the largest was far bigger than anything that anyone was capable of manufacturing. Plus all the gems had the same impurities that indicated a natural origin. In the end, the appraiser had to give them a clean bill of health. Your ‘shitty’ parting gift was a huge help in financing the development of the electric plane I’d been working on for my company. I’m now the second-biggest shareholder behind the founder. The rest of the money I invested for the future.”

“Glad to hear that it worked out. Well, we’re here.”

I nodded to the Royal Guards and stepped inside where Twilight was waiting a trifle impatiently.

“Could you please confirm the mirror that you exited from?” the alicorn asked.

“I’m pretty sure that it’s the one you’re sitting next to,” Phil replied, pointing to it with a hoof.

I paused to look at the portal mirror. Of the four that I had smashed accidentally, it turned out to be the one that we had thought most likely to have been my gateway to Equestria. I tested the surface with a hoof and saw it pass through, indicating that it was still active. I stepped back, turned to Phil, and waved a foreleg in the portal’s direction. “After you!”

Phil looked a little uncertain but he didn’t hesitate to step through. I started to follow but Penny moved to go first.

“I should check it out before you follow,” she said.

I smiled reassuringly. “Penny, of all the places in two universes, I can’t think of anywhere safer than my best friend’s personal residence. Wait here, please.”

She looked put out but she reluctantly complied. I then stepped through the portal.

After the usual moment of disorientation, I took in my surroundings. It was obviously a bedroom – a king-size bed with dressers on either side, two large windows with curtains drawn for the night, plus a few tasteful decorations. Very normal although everything seemed a little larger in proportion than I remembered.

“Mark… why am I still a pony?”

I looked at Phil and then down at my hooves. Oops. Something had gone wrong. While the portal had worked perfectly, it hadn’t changed us into humans as it should have. Realization struck and I face-hoofed.

“Sorry, Phil. Twilight and I overlooked something. More than one thing. We both forgot about your sweatpants and they are still back in Equestria. Anyway, the adaptation spell that enables us to change species is placed on the departure gate, not the receiving one. That’s why you changed into a pony on the way here. While Twilight repaired the mirror in Equestria so that this one could link to it again, that did nothing to re-establish the adaptation spell because it’s an entirely separate aspect of interdimensional travel.”

His ears folded down and his eyes widened. “You mean I’m stuck like this?!”

Before I could answer, a voice came from outside the room.

“Is that you, Phil? Where have you been? And who are you talking—”

A woman with short brown hair casually dressed in sweat pants, T-shirt, and house socks froze in the doorway as she beheld us.

Phil gaped at her, panic in his eyes. He gulped and said, “H-hi, Rosa. Um… a funny thing happened a little while ago.”

Rosa’s eyes widened and she stumbled back and looked wildly around the room. “Is this your idea of a joke, Phil? Where are you? How are you throwing your voice like that?”

“It’s not a joke, chica. It’s really me.”

I couldn’t help myself. “Don’t mind him,” I said. “He’s just a little hoarse!” I cracked up and started rolling on the floor with laughter. Two pairs of eyes stared at me in disbelief which only made me laugh harder.

This had the effect of getting my friend’s dander up. He frowned and said, “Knock it off, Mark. How am I supposed to explain to my wife that she’s now married to a pony?”

I choked down my laughter as I was quickly intrigued by this news. I stood back up. “You’re married? Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”

“We were too busy catching up with what you’ve been up to for years. Now, what are we going to do about this?”

I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning to Rosa, I saw she had grabbed a plastic broom from the corner and waved it menacingly. “So you expect me to believe these mentiras? I do not.” Rosa bounced the broom off of Phil’s head. “You! Prove to me that you are mi amor.”

Phil stammered. “Uh… uh… sure, mi corazón! Ah… on our first anniversary, we—”

“What is the worst William Shatner cover song of all time?” It seemed his wife had a different idea of how to verify his identity.

Phil and I groaned piteously and in perfect harmony. I said, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, hooves down.”

My friend turned to face me. “No. Wrong. Uninformed. Bohemian Rhapsody reached all-time lows of awfulness.”

I waved a hoof. “It wasn’t that bad… OK, maybe it was. But it doesn’t induce dry heaving like Lucy does.”

Phil shook his head and raised his voice a bit. “Too bad. So sad. There was a vote. Intelligent people tell me you are wrong.”

I mock snarled. “Are you implying that I’m not intelligent!?”

“I’m not implying that at all. I’m saying it!”

I smiled. “Same old Phil. Writing checks with your mouth that your wrestling skills can’t cash.”

He smirked. “I’ll have you know I’m now a 1st Kyu brown belt in Shotokan Karate!”

“Which helps you how right now?”

“It… uh…”

Rosa waved the broom between us. “Down you two!” She turned to her husband. “Only my Phillipe argues this way. I believe it is you, my dear. But until you are a human again…” More brandishing of her broom. “No messes on the carpet! Am I clear?”

I looked up at the woman who, thankfully, had not run off or brained us both on principle. “Rosa, is it? My name is Mark Wells, your husband’s friend. Short version – he went through that magic portal mirror…” I pointed to the object that had started my saga. “…and ended up in Equestria as the unicorn that you see in front of you. When we came here, he was supposed to be restored to his normal human form, but the spell that was intended to do that is broken. But, as I was about to explain to Phil, that can easily be remedied. The magic expert happens to be waiting at the other side right now.”

Rosa seemed to relax a little. “I remember Phillipe talking about his best friend disappearing years ago. Are you telling me that you’re that man and you’ve been…” She waved a hand at the mirror. “…through the looking glass like Alice in Wonderland?”

I nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. Unlike Alice though, I was stuck there. The portal on that side was smashed. However, it’s repaired now, as Phil found out by accident.”

My best friend looked like he was going to faint with relief. “So we can fix this?”

“Yep. Let me just nip back and get the ball rolling. I’ll return as soon as it’s ready.”

“What? You want me to stay here like this?”

“Sure. It’s not like it’s going to harm you. You can fill in Rosa a bit more while I’m gone.” I looked at his wife and grinned. “By the way, ponies love being scratched behind the ears.”

Rosa blinked and then stared at Phil with curiosity.

Phil’s eyes widened again. “Mark – what are you doing to me?”

I gave him my best smile. “Don’t worry, pal. Everything’s going to be fine.” I didn’t wait for him to reply. I leaped through the mirror and back to Equestria. At least, seeing me go through the portal would lend credence to my words.

Twilight looked at me expectantly. “You returned sooner than I expected. How did it go?”

“The portal works fine, but we forgot something – the adaptation spell.”

The alicorn’s mouth dropped open. “Oh. Right. I’ll fix that immediately.”

“One other thing – Phil is married. We bumped into his wife while still ponies,” I said with a grin.

She raised an eyebrow. “How did that work out?”

“Hilariously. I’m going to be able to tease Phil about that for years! Anyway, seeing as he isn’t living alone, which I should not have assumed, I had better get some clothing enchantments. I don’t think Phil would appreciate me returning as a naked human in front of his wife.”

Twilight giggled. “I suppose not. I’ll get to work on the spell while you fetch them.”

She was finished well before I returned, so I stepped straight through the portal. I immediately spotted my friend and his wife on the bed. He was lying next to her with a goofy grin on his muzzle as she scratched his mane where I had suggested. A smile on Rosa’s face showed that she was enjoying the experience too.

“Should I come back later?” I asked with a smirk.

Neither had noticed my arrival and they were startled when I spoke. They both blushed profusely.

“No, no!” Rosa replied. “It’s fine.”

“You can go back to Equestria and return as a human right now, Phil.” I indicated my original form which was surprisingly unfamiliar after all these years. Even visits to Sunset’s Earth had not helped.

“No hurry,” Phil replied as Rosa continued to stroke him. Girls really loved ponies, it seemed. Especially ones that were also their husbands.

“Okay,” I said as I pulled out a chair from next to the dresser and sat down on it backwards. I folded my arms across the back of the chair and rested my chin on them. “I’ve told you about what happened to me for the past several years. Now it’s your turn. How did you meet Rosa and when did you get hitched? I have several mares who will want to know every juicy detail.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Another big chapter and another loose end tied up. Not much more to go now.

And another illustration by Foxenawolf!

Song credits:
Annie's Song by John Denver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNOTF-znQyw

Aria from Madame Butterfly (translated to English) by Giacomo Puccini
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmfw17L_Deo

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Chapter 99 - Friends And Family

Phil and Rosa told me how they had met when he had visited the company she worked for a few years back. They were the supplier of the cutting-edge batteries that my friend’s business needed and he had to coordinate with their technical expert. That was Rosa. The two hit it off immediately and a date soon followed. A year and a half later, they got married. As they filled in the details, it became apparent to me that, without me constantly in his life, my best friend had found someone else to fill the void just like Trixie had initially done for me, and then my other marefriends. Far from ruining our lives, my immigration to Equestria had changed everything for the better. And now, we had our friendship restored. Our lives would never be the same, but who wanted that? Everything was better for us both now.

I’m not sure how long we chatted before Penumbra emerged from the mirror. Because she had previously visited Sunset’s world with me, she owned a set of appropriate human clothing which she was wearing now, thank goodness! I didn’t want to explain a naked woman in Phil and Rosa’s boudoir. The erstwhile bat-pony had a dark complexion reminiscent of Middle-Eastern people and her hair had the exact same shades of brown and gray as her mane. The piercing gaze was unchanged and the way she frowned at me was all too familiar. After giving the others a curt acknowledging nod, she turned her attention to me.

“Were you planning on leaving us hanging all night? You should have reported back long ago.”

“Sorry, Penny. I got caught up in Phil’s tale of how he met Rosa.”

“Who is this strange woman, Phillipe?” my friend’s spouse asked with a frown.

“One of Mark’s wives, apparently,” he replied.

Rosa’s eyebrows practically levitated. “One of them?” She turned her frown on me. “How many wives do you have?”

“Before I answer, let me point out that we’re all ponies over there and herds often form around a single stallion. Plus, mares outnumber stallions about four-to-one.”

The way she set her mouth told me she was not mollified by my qualification. “How many?” she repeated.

“Four,” Penny answered for me. Then she added with a smirk, “And there are quite a number of other mares who want to bed him.”

Oh, twist the knife, why don’t you? Even Phil looked surprised by that revelation. Then he grinned mischievously.

“So – how many mares are waiting in line to be rutted by you? They’ve asked but you haven’t said yes yet? Or you are the best pony option because of that class thing?”

I thought of Rainbow Dash and a few more mares, Apicula, countless hive princesses...

“I’d... rather not talk about it.”

Phil started busting a gut laughing. Rosa rolled her eyes before getting off the bed. She said, “Time for you to become un hombre again. Only one esposa for you!”

Still chuckling, Phil clambered off the bed and headed for the mirror. “I’ll be back in a minute, mi amor.” He paused. “Unless you would like to find out what kind of mare you would make?”

That gave Rosa pause. She thought for a moment before giving me a questioning look.

I shrugged. “It’s up to you. While traveling between the universes is something we like to keep under control, I see no harm in allowing you to visit.”

She nodded. “I will see for myself this magical world that Phillipe has described.”

“Great! In fact, we’ll treat you to dinner if you’d like? Just let Penny and me go through and then you and Phil come next.”

“Clothes!” exclaimed Phil.

“Oh, right.” I considered. “Rosa, I suggest you go through nude – unless you want to look as hilarious as your husband did in oversize sweatpants tripping him up every step. Phil, I recommend full plate armor for you. Let’s go, Penny.” I heard sputtering and a giggle behind me as I trotted for the mirror.

My bodyguard, watching my back, let me go through the portal first before bringing up the rear. A minute later, Phil came next with barely a wobble upon his exit, then turned to watch as his wife followed. When she emerged, our collective jaws dropped.

Rosa was not a pony. While she was winged like a pegasus, that’s where the resemblance came to a screeching halt. Golden eagle plumage matched the aquiline beak and talons while her rear half was definitely leonine. Phil’s wife was a magnificent griffoness! She stood about a head taller than him too.

A smile slowly grew on Phil’s face as Rosa craned her neck around to look at herself. “Whoa! Eres muy hermosa!” he said admiringly.

Twilight murmured to me, “Who is this?”

“That’s Phil’s wife, Rosa. Is there any reason why she became a griffon rather than a pony?”

“The adaptation spell is designed to transform a person into the species best suited to the world they are entering. As an educated guess, the spell has interpreted this to mean as a griffon for her.”

“Well, I kind of promised them dinner, so fish will need to be on the menu tonight.”

“Oh, joy,” my co-ruler grumped.

“So, I am what you call a griffon?” Rosa asked. At our nods of confirmation, she continued. “Why am I so much bigger than you?”

Twilight replied, “Griffons come in various sizes just like humans do. However, the average one is larger than the average pony.”

Rosa tapped her beak with a talon, her eyes crossing as she focused on the action. “This is most odd, and yet it feels right for me.”

The purple alicorn nodded in satisfaction. “The adaptation spell seems to be working well then.”

I gave Twilight a keen stare. “Have you been tweaking Star Swirl’s enchantments again?”

She gave me a cheesy grin. “Mmmmaybe. I merely added an optimizing algorithm to the receiving portal to enable the transmogrified person to adapt better to their new form.”

I chuckled. “Don’t let the old mage know that you’ve improved another of his spells. He might get an inferiority complex!” I held up a hoof to stop the inevitable protest. “No, I don’t wanna hear it. There’s a new Master of the Mystic Arts in town.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Where do you come up with those outlandish titles?”

Phil smirked and said, “It’s very Strange, isn’t it, Doc?”

I gave him a wink before I gestured toward the door. “Shall we head upstairs? We can chat more over dinner.”

My wife said, “An excellent idea, Dowser. Trixie is feeling quite peckish. Please, follow Trixie.”

While she led the way, I took up the rear. That allowed me to observe Rosa’s movement. There wasn’t a hint of the troubles that I’d had when I first tried walking with a quadrupedal gait. Actually, Phil seemed more confident on his hooves as well. I wished I’d had the benefit of Twilight’s optimizing spell back when I had arrived in Equestria.

We had reached the dining room floor when I thought of something. I said to Phil and Rosa, “Neither of you has had a good look at where you are yet. Let’s step outside for a moment so you can take in the sight of Canterlot City.”

I used my horn to open the great glass doors that led to the balcony. Rosa stared in wonder at that minor magical feat before stepping outside. Her eyes grew even wider as the view of the city and country in the valley below filled her vision. Her husband was gaping too. I admit that I never tired of the vista so it was easy to empathize with them.

Rosa gaped and said, “Magnífico!” She threw her left arm around Phil’s shoulders and pulled him close, not realizing her strength in that form. “This world is muy maravilloso, don’t you think?”

“Urk!” Phil replied, his eyes bulging and tongue sticking out as she nearly strangled him.

I said, “Yes, it’s quite breathtaking, isn’t it, Phil?” I struggled to keep down my snickers.

“Guh!” he replied.

“You might want to let your hubby breathe,” I told Rosa after a suitable interval.

She looked down, squawked, and released my poor friend. “Oh, I’m sorry mi pequeño pony!”

Phil coughed briefly and gasped for breath. Soon, he looked up at his wife. “No harm done, mi amor, but easy on the hugs next time, please.”

She nodded and then turned back to the view just as a pegasus and changeling patrol flew past. “Look at them! Do you think I could fly like that?” She half-spread her wings.

I hastily put a forehoof on her shoulder to restrain her. “Yes, you have the capability, but it is something that you need to learn how to do properly first unless you are a fan of crash-landings. Believe me – I know.”

“You have a point, Marcus. Perhaps later.”

Well, she’s keen. It also boded well for future visits. I let them get their fill of the view before reminding them that the others were waiting for us.

Trixie already had the dinner process underway. Lace Doily waited to take Phil and Rosa’s order. As expected, Rosa asked for the grilled trout, but even she was surprised at how enticing the thought of the dish was.

“I am not normally a huge fan of fish,” Rosa said. “I suppose it’s a consequence of my change of species.”

That was very perceptive of her. Phil hadn’t married a dummy, that’s for sure.

Our children started arriving after being summoned for the slightly earlier than usual mealtime. Diadem was the first to be introduced and Rosa complimented Chrysalis on having such a beautiful daughter.

Sally was startled but pleased, not expecting such praise from someone who had never even seen a changeling before. Rosa had a new instant friend from that moment.

Gemini arrived in the company of Verdant and Allura. My firstborn was in their filly form and I decided not to tell our visitors about her dual nature. If they changed during the meal, it would add a talking point. Otherwise, our child was rather tired of it being mentioned every time they met someone new. Allura was curious about the unfamiliar griffon and Rosa found her adorable.

Pearl elicited some questions, of course, and when Thorax turned up with Regis, that provoked a flurry of queries. But when Gallus showed up with Smolder, that really caused a stir. The young dragoness was a little embarrassed by all the attention. The conversation about our complex relationship and multiplicity of species slowed down everyone’s consumption of their meals. It turned out to be quite a lengthy repast as the chatting continued unabated through dessert and coffee afterwards.

The younger children soon grew bored and left in the company of their nannies. I would have to make it up to a couple of them later by reading them a bedtime story. Verdant fell asleep underneath Penny’s wing.

The conversation was relentlessly steered by the ever-curious Twilight in the direction of Phil and Rosa’s work. Only I was able to follow all the details although I think Trixie was marefully trying to keep on top of the concepts judging by her comments and questions. It was during an intense and enthusiastic discussion of control systems for the electric airplane that the unexpected happened.

At first, Phil started glowing. He didn’t notice, but Twilight’s eyes widened. I saw the excited looks on the faces of the other mares and wondered what was going on. Then he rose into the air. Phil squeaked in surprise as his head whipped around, trying to figure out what was happening. He even galloped in place, vainly trying to get away from whatever was happening to him. I was torn between laughing at his predicament and feeling genuinely concerned.

“Whoever is doing this, can you put me down, please?” my friend pleaded.

“It's okay, Phil,” Twilight replied. “It’s something wonderful.”

I didn’t have time to query what she meant by that because there was a burst of blinding light before my best friend floated back to the floor.

“Wh–what was that all about?” Phil asked dazedly.

I grinned. I could now see what had happened. “Take a look at your butt.”

Phil craned his neck around and saw the dark blue silhouette of a bird emblazoned upon it. A martin, specifically. I had only seen it once before on a mare in another dimension.

“Congratulations! You just got your cutie mark.”

“My what?!”

That provoked a long explanation of what cutie marks were, their significance, and why ponies got them and not griffons. The hardest question to answer though was why I had turned up in Equestria with one already. I could only put it down to the destiny that Harmony had in mind for me.

That’s when I slapped my forehead with a hoof. “Oh, no! Phil, by getting your cutie mark, you just normalized!”

My friend turned to me, missing Twilight's confused expression. “I did what?”

I sighed. “It’s one of the side-effects of manifesting your special talent. You’re filled with the magic of Harmony right now. Long story short, you’re going to stay in pony form for the next eight days no matter what.”

“No way!” His eyes grew huge and he got right in my face. “That… that can’t be right! I’ve got a customer presentation on Wednesday that I can’t miss!”

I grinned. “Just messing with you. It’s been a while.”

I heard chuckles all around me as Phil’s eyes narrowed down to slits. Rosa said, “Ah, yes, I remember now. You two would prank each other todo el tiempo, no?”

Phil said, “Ha, ha. Almost funny. Keep trying and you might get all the way to ‘mildly amusing’.”

Through the far window, I saw Celestia gliding past. From her direction of flight, she was flying toward her tower balcony. Because everyone was looking at me and Phil, I was the only one who knew about her unexpected arrival. I put on a wooden smile that Phil would recognize as suspicious. “I just remembered something. I’ll be right back.” I held my friend’s gaze for just a second too long. My lackluster attempt at convincing him of my sincerity done, I trotted out of the room.

Twenty seconds later, I knocked on the door to Celestia’s chambers.

Her familiar aura surrounded the double doors and they swung inward, revealing the smiling Solar Alicorn. “Prince Mark! So much for me sneaking into Canterlot again undetected.”

I waved a hoof. “Just Mark, please. I promise that I wasn’t spying on you… too much.”

She laughed and came up and hugged me. After she pulled away, she said, “I take it there is something you want of me? Some emergency, perhaps?”

“Nothing of the sort. There are a couple of very special visitors in the Sun Room. I would greatly appreciate it if you would swing by and say hello, assuming you don’t have anything pressing right now.”

She stepped into the corridor, closing the doors behind her. “Not at all. May I ask who these ponies are?”

I smiled. “That’s part of the surprise. I’ll give you a clue. You are either half-right or not-right at all depending on how you look at it.” Her ears swiveled forward, interest sparkling in her eyes.

I opened my wings. “I need to grab one more thing. I’ll meet you there in a minute.” Without waiting for an answer, I zoomed down the corridor. Such was my haste that I caused an earth pony maid to scream and dive out of the way when I turned a blind corner. I’d have to apologize to Whisk Broom later.

I landed in the hallway thirty feet from the entrance at the far side of the Sun Room. I used spells from Twilight’s lessons to muffle my hooves and hide my scent. Just before peeking in the open doorway, I used a Notice-Me-Not spell to avoid the eyes of others.

I saw Princess Celestia complimenting Rosa on her plumage and playfully comparing it to her own. Phil’s head was pulled back slightly and he frowned at the Day Alicorn.

Twilight diplomatically redirected her former teacher. “Celestia, I’d like you to meet Mark’s best friend from his home dimension. This is Phillip Martine. Philip, this is Celestia.”

My friend deadpanned. “Oh, we’ve met.”

Celestia froze and stared. Whatever she meant to say had been derailed. “Ex.. excuse me?”

Phil huffed, flaring his nostrils. “Yep. Many times. Known each other intimately for years.”

The white alicorn stammered. “I’m sorry?” Her mane started whipping a bit faster in the non-existent wind.

I stifled a laugh and silently crept forward. From Chrysalis’ spot relaxing on a couch, one of her ears pointed my direction. Crap. Hadn’t thought about masking my emotions.

Phil continued. “Oh, yes. You could honestly say we’ve slept together so many times I’ve lost count.”

Celestia’s mane stopped moving and her mouth hung open.

Twilight looked between the two. “Phil, I assure you—”

He wasn’t listening. “You’d think after all this time, I’d be worthy of a kiss. But no. Am I truly that ugly?”

Penny smiled, showing off her fangs. She got it.

The white alicorn’s horn began to glow and she scowled. “Do not put words in my mouth.”

OK, this was getting potentially dangerous, time to intervene. Before I could speak, Phil had boldly strode to within an inch of the angry mare. “Did you really think I wouldn’t remember you wiggling your shapely rump on the far side of the mirror three years ago? Nice try.”

“My rump? Wait…” Celestia’s horn winked out. “Mirror? You saw me in a mirror?”

Phil waved a hoof. “Of course I did. That’s when you told me to search for Celestia Faust and Luna Faust with a VPN. Your cutie mark was different, though.”

Twilight and Trixie both let out a little “Oooooo” sound. The purple mare said, “Phil, didn’t Mark tell you? Celestia and Luna recently returned to Equestria. They were lost for years, but now they are back.”

I dropped my concealment spells and took the last few steps forward. “Twilight, I was retelling everything in chronological order. We didn’t get past the Storm King’s invasion.”

Phil pursed his lips. After several seconds, he pointed at me then leaned toward Chrysalis. “Not a changeling?”

“Not a changeling,” my newest herdmate acknowledged with a laugh as she stood up from the couch.

The silence stretched out longer this time. While the beaks of griffons make it hard to read their expressions, the crinkles around Rosa’s eyes spoke volumes.

Phil looked at me. “On a scale of one to ten—”

“If Princess Celestia was still a reigning diarch, about a twenty. Since she is a private citizen, you just need to square it with her.”

My friend lowered his hoof. “First of all – Mark, that was a good one.” He turned around and started to look up. “Your Highness, I … mmmmfff!”

The Solar Alicorn had cut him off with an aggressive kiss. Only her wing pinning Phil in place kept him from falling onto his back. Trixie and Chrysalis whooped it up an even Twilight couldn’t suppress a smile.

Several seconds later, Celestia pulled back, releasing Phil to drop panting to the floor. “He fought back… or at least tried to. Definitely a worthy kisser.” She turned to Rosa. “Quite the fearless stallion you have! Well chosen.”

Rosa closed her eyes and bowed in acknowledgment.

I helped my friend get back onto his hooves. I could have imagined it, but I think some of his mane hairs were singed. While he fought to get his balance back, I asked Rosa, “No squawking in protest? I remember you saying something about Phil needing only one esposa.”

The griffoness shrugged. “Let my husband learn from his mistakes. Besides, mares obviously run this world. Who am I to argue?”

Chrysalis wrapped a foreleg around Rosa’s shoulder. “This one is smart. I like her.”

Phil caught my eye. “You put up with this all the time?”

That’s the Phil I remembered – already clear-headed and connecting the dots. I shrugged. “You get used to it. Now come on. Let’s get you re-hydrated. If you ask nicely, Celestia might model her oriental-style armor while telling the story of her time away from Equestria.”

“No sparring?” he asked with a look of concern.

He’d been pranked enough… for this trip. “No sparring, I promise.”

I think our conversation could have continued all night but, unfortunately, we all had to go to work the next day. Phil and Rosa were already a few hours ahead of us, daytime-wise, so they reluctantly made their farewells to everyone. I led them back to the portal room and we discussed the best time for them to come back for an extended visit. Their Saturday happened to coincide with our Sunday, so that was convenient. I would have cheerfully taken a day off royal duties otherwise.

I promised Rosa that I would find her a tutor to learn how to fly before I gave Phil one long parting hug.

“Mi casa, su casa,” I said.

Phil chuckled. “Never thought my other home would be a fairytale castle!”

I laughed and waved goodbye as he followed his wife back to his world. I stared at the enchanted mirror for a long moment before I felt Penny’s wing slip around my barrel and hug me.

In an unusually soft tone, she said, “It’s good to have your family whole once more, isn’t it?”

I nodded, feeling too choked up to speak.

My batpony wife gently guided me to the door. “Let’s celebrate that with our herdmates, shall we?”

That was the first of what was to become many visits by Phil and Rosa to Equestria. While we did occasionally go to Earth for a change, it suited everyone best for them to come here. A suite was permanently assigned for their use whenever they needed it. The griffoness instantly fitted into our family as if she had always been there. I had fully expected that to happen. I knew Phil and I knew he wouldn’t have married anyone who was not open-minded and did not like or appreciate the things that he did. Rosa also happened to adore flying. She learned quickly and was soon soloing. Trixie and I celebrated her progress by giving her an aerial tour of Canterlot.

Fluttershy was the next mare to join the party of new moms. Her lilac-hued pegasus daughter charmed everyone with her adorable eyes that radiated cuteness. Definitely got that from her mom. One odd aspect of her appearance was the coloration of her mane and tail. They were bright yellow with streaks of red and black. It wasn’t until I looked at Discord’s eyes that I saw where that coloration came from.

The foal also had a snaggle-toothed fang on one side of her mouth. Auntie Penumbra promised to teach the little one how to drain mangos and apples when she got older. That would have to wait until Fluttershy was done breastfeeding. When asked about the fang, Discord confirmed it was hollow. The draconequus assured us any chaotic aspects of her heritage would not appear until puberty in a manner very similar to cutie mark magic. That meant her poison sacs would not appear for years.

Probably.

Having produced her heir, Chrysalis turned all her spare time toward building her new hive. I had already gotten a team of earth pony miners to construct a new tunnel from the castle down to the crystal caverns inside the mountain. From the Canterlot side, the entrance was consistent with the décor of the castle although it boasted a set of double doors marked with the symbol of the future hive.

The passageway was warmly lit with magic glowstones but was otherwise undecorated for the moment. We planned to remedy that situation when the hive was up and running properly. At a point around sixty yards down the tunnel, the walls, floor, and ceiling merged with the natural crystalline structure of the caverns. The walls emitted their own light as a byproduct of the mana that seeped down here from the profusion on the surface. Several branches had already been in place due to mining back when the city was being built. Chrysalis intended to make good use of those for various sections such as a nursery, love storage, and residences for the drones.

“Is the hive going to resemble the one in the Badlands when you’re done?” I asked as we inspected the caverns.

“No, husband,” Chrysalis replied. “This is a completely new start which will be a fusion of our heritages to begin a new dynasty. If the Canterlot Hive is to grow to be the greatest in Equestria, it must embrace the best that each has to offer – changeling and pony.”

Some things about my most junior wife had not changed; her ambition was chief among them. Now, however, it was aligned with the Triarchy’s goals instead of in conflict with them.

“Also, as you are the hive’s king, I want you to be comfortable with it as much as possible. I will be laying eggs for the new drones as soon as the nursery is ready.” She gave me a smirk. “Knowing you and your dedication to your foals, do you believe you will be prepared to be the father figure for a dozen or so nymphs?”

I blinked. “I didn’t think you needed me to create drones, only princesses.”

“Yet another tradition I am discarding. These drones will be a step above those I can create by myself. Our next clutch will be smarter, stronger, and have a better chance at succeeding at whatever they set their minds to accomplish. Speaking of which, I do not plan to assign our children to their professions. They will be free to choose their destinies.”

I thought about suddenly having a dozen or so new children all at once. “I admit that it’s going to be a bit weird but I’ll do what I can. It will be a learning experience for both of us, I reckon.”

Unexpectedly, she nuzzled me. “You are correct but, between us all, we will make our new hive the envy of Equestria.”

And that’s why I love my changeling mare. She was utterly dedicated to us. Everything she did now, she did for the herd. Her pride was inextricably linked with what was best for our family and, through our positions of power, Equestria. Enlightened self-interest at its best. I looked forward to seeing what she would build in her new stronghold.

As the months passed and the work progressed, Chrysalis regularly took me down to the caverns to show me what had been completed and ask my opinion on her intentions for the next sections. If I didn’t understand their function, she would patiently explain her reasoning and I would offer my suggestions. Occasionally, I would reject a proposal and give my reasons. Many times it was simply because they made me feel uncomfortable, and if they did that to me, the average citizen would feel worse.

The example that comes to mind was the ‘bone fields’. Changelings needed to augment their diets with calcium and phosphates. The traditional way to get these involved collecting the bones of vertebrates and allowing mushrooms to grow on them. No matter what animal the bones came from, the common pony would find the practice off-putting if not horrific. If we were going to normalize the relationship between unevolved changelings and others, especially ponies, compromises had to be made.

In this case, after consulting with Twilight, I recommended changing the source material to coconut shells and fiber. The purple mare also found a tropical mushroom that extracted the needed nutrients. Thankfully, my wife more often than not conceded to me, although not always without intense debate. Sally was strong-willed and knew what she wanted, so I had to have good solid reasons to back me up. She certainly kept me on my toes! Er… hooves!

The first batch of drone eggs was laid after a night spent fertilizing them. A stallion’s duties never end. Thankfully.

#

When the eggs hatched, I was encouraged to visit the grubs and give them a little love. Chrysalis explained that it would help them bond with me like with Diadem. I bowed to my wife’s experience in these matters. I think I’m beginning to find them cute in a weird sort of way.

#

The nymphs emerged from their pupas today. Although they had the same black carapaces and glowing eyes of the changelings that we had encountered in the Badlands Hive, the resemblance stopped there. Due to getting a steady diet of love from birth and even during their pupating period, they completely lacked the voids that characterized malnutrition in their species. Their glossy chitin tended to break beams of sunlight into a spectrum and their wings sparkled greatly like their mother’s.

They were love sponges. By that, I mean that they could hardly be kept away from their mother and me. They adored being in our presence, almost like puppies. This was significantly different from Diadem who had a much more restrained if no less loving relationship with her parents. Chrysalis explained that this is what made the drones so loyal. I got used to having two or three snuggling up to me while I held court, much to the bemusement of the nobles.

Meanwhile, Chrysalis laid another batch of eggs. Upon being asked how many she intended to lay, she replied, “Oh, two or three hundred will do for now.”

Thank goodness I won’t have to throw birthday parties for them all. And for heaven’s sake, don’t point this out to Pinkie!

The first stage was completed. The hive could currently cope with all the needs of several hundred occupants. Not that the nymphs would be spending all their waking hours there. Secrecy and isolation were things of the past. Ponies visited the hive, and the nymphs were brought up to interact with foals and chicks. Naturally, there were some objections from the mothers and fathers but I pretty much told them to deal with the new normal. The changelings were as much citizens of our nation as any other species. Racism would be ruthlessly suppressed. Education was key to this and, as soon as they were old enough, the nymphs attended normal school as well as special classes that would teach them how to do traditional changeling activities. I never realized that drones needed to be trained in shape-shifting to be adept at it. That kind of thing came naturally to the royal changelings but competence varied wildly among the others. Because the ability to shapeshift had always been integral to sustaining a hive, a lot of importance was placed on this training. And while it would hopefully be a lesser need for our hive members, my wife still expected them to try their hardest at everything.

Interactions between the universes grew as each world learned what they could acquire from the others. Like all of its counterparts, the anthro world had several devices that nopony had thought to create here and vice versa. Unlike the other dimensions, though, we actively encouraged immigration from there, particularly to reside and work in Canterlot. While we had a sound commercial rationale to back this policy, I admit that they weren’t the main reason why we did it. Our daughter Pearl was unique among the ponies of this world. Having other anthro ponies in the community gave the locals time to adjust to them and normalize their presence. Hopefully, our beautiful filly would never know rejection or bullying for being different. If not, well, the dungeons were currently empty. Don’t tempt this protective father. And no, we would not use the portal’s adaptation spell to make her into a four-hooved pony. If she wanted to do that when she was old enough to make a responsible and informed decision, that would be her choice, not ours.

Mating Season came around as usual. Unsurprisingly, Trixie reminded me that she intended to give me a son this time. Although I figured that it would be futile, nevertheless, I tried to persuade her to put it off for another year or so.

“Gemini is already part colt,” I pointed out.

Trixie shook her head. “They spend the majority of the day as a filly.”

It was true even if Gemini always had time to have a flight with their father. Not a good enough reason for my wife though. I tried my next objection. “Gallus is my son too.”

“And he is a wonderful son and I am glad we adopted him, but he’s not a colt of your blood.”

“That would be Verdant,” I replied, laying down my trump card.

“But I am not his mother,” she replied as if that was highly significant.

I sighed. “Are you ready to have another foal so soon after giving birth to Allura?”

My wife raised her head proudly. “Trixie is an excellent broodmare and is ready to give you all the foals she promised you.”

It was no use. While she was genuine in her determination to give me a son, it was quite evident that my beautiful mare simply loved being a mother. She wanted another foal and she would brook no excuses for me not giving her one. “Okay. So – happy fun times until I turn into a mare?”

“Trixie is glad that her husband has seen the light.”

There were worse ways to lose an argument.

Neither Rarity nor Penny wanted another foal so they spent the last couple of nights sleeping elsewhere. Chrysalis was a special case – she controlled her fertility, so the Season made no difference to her. Crimson Boulder and Steady left for a seaside resort outside Fillydelphia this time. Penumbra took over bodyguard duties full-time until I woke up as Marklestia.

But I didn’t change. Even after Penny informed us through our closed and barred door that every mare was in the grip of the Season, I stubbornly remained a stallion which was wreaking havoc with our usual arrangements. Every previous year, Trixie and I were lounging with our friends at the Ponyville Spa by now! Having run out of patience, I deliberately changed to my Celestial form. Then, I tried to turn back to a stallion and was surprised when I succeeded. Trixie merely grinned and insisted on ensuring she was well and truly fertilized. Twist my arm… leg… why don’t you? After obliging her, I became a mare again and dropped the barriers, both physical and magical, on the door to our suite. Trixie pushed her way past me to stride into the corridor. Looking around, there were a suspicious number of female guards, maids, messengers, and other various random castle staff standing around. All threw me a hungry gaze but then sighed in disappointment.

I gulped. Judging by their flagging tails, this mob didn’t appear to care a whit about the restrictions imposed by my social status. I think they were highly motivated by knowing where to find the one available stallion. Judging by the amount of perfume I smelled and the immaculate state of every mane and tail, all had been hoping to gain my attention for a short fling.

Trixie raised her voice, “Your Great and Glorious Princess Trixie thanks all of you for your consideration. However, the Royal Suite does not need any pipes repaired, windows replaced, firewood restocked, closet shelves installed, or other sundry tasks performed. We do require fresh linens and the floors and carpet scrubbed, however.” She turned to a nearby earth pony. “Gilded Tapestry, please attend to this.” When several other maids also moved to comply, my wife added, “Only Gilded is required for this task.” More disappointed sighs.

The throng broke up and headed down the hallways, my wife glaring at their retreating forms. After the last was out of sight, she looked at the four guardsmares in turn. “Ensure that Gilded leaves when her duties are complete. Come, Dowser.”

I chuckled as I matched my wife’s pace. “A bit cruel of you to wave the messy linens and floor in their faces, don’t you think?”

She raised her head even higher. “It is good to be Princess. Next season, doubtless I shall tell these avaricious mares that all the furniture needs to be replaced on account of it being broken.”

I laughed until I had a thought. I stopped in my tracks and looked at my wife who continued without me. “Wait. Are you serious?”

Trixie turned her head so I could see her lascivious grin. “We both need to grow into our newly-acquired earth pony strength. You get a pass this year but I expect lots of splintered wood in our future.”

The rest of the day was spent engaging in some fun and games with the rest of my herd. It was one of the few times of the year when we got to put work almost completely aside and indulge ourselves for a while.

The next day, I visited Twilight and showed her that I could still revert to my normal stallion form. She stiffened, her nostrils flared, and in a slightly strangled voice insisted that I change back immediately. Damn, those pheromones work quickly. After a few tests (with wine corks hilariously shoved up the bookmare’s nostrils), the purple nerd declared that her best guess was that the enforced gender-change side-effect had worn off. As that hadn’t been a part of the original poison joke curse, it apparently wasn’t permanent. That suited me just fine. I could still enjoy the best of both worlds without being confined to one by hormones. Everything worked out great!

Then Rainbow Dash heard the news. She and Applejack came visiting about halfway through the Season. As usual, my colorful friend was blunt about her reason for coming.

I had been in my long-maned Marklestia body but switched to the short-haired form upon seeing my friend. I spread my wings. “Ah, the un-ascended return to try to retain their crown. Know that I have grown stronger, faster, and more awesome in the past year. Are you ready to get your colorful tail hoofed to you by—”

The Element of Loyalty waved a hoof. “Maybe later. We're here now 'cause we want you to sire the foal you promised me.”

I blinked in surprise. “But… your career… I thought you had no intention of having a foal this soon because it would interfere with your flight abilities and thus your position in the Wonderbolts.”

“Yeah, but AJ really wants a foal, so we’re scheduling the show for an earlier date.”

“Well, if that’s what you want, I made a promise and Trixie has already given her blessing, so do you want to do this right now?”

Dash stared at me with a furrowed brow for a moment before bursting out laughing. “Not me. Like I said, Applejack wants to bear our foal.”

My eyebrows rose and I looked at the farm pony. “You want me to rut AJ?”

Applejack gave me a lopsided smile. “Ah know it’s a bit of a surprise for ya, but it makes sense. We earth ponies can carry a foal right easily up until we give birth, so if’n we want to start a family, Ah’m the one who should bear the burden until Rainbow is ready for her turn.”

“I get that,” I replied. “It’s just that I made the promise to her, not you.”

Trixie poked me in the side with the edge of her hoof. “Stop being so stubborn, Minipark Presells. The promise is to give her a foal. If that’s through her wife, then that’s her choice.”

I am never going to understand all the rules about pony relationships. I turned back to Applejack. “Umm… although we got off to a bit of a rocky start, we’ve been friends for a long while now, but I never really was interested in you romantically the way I was with Dash. And I know the feeling has been mutual. Are you sure you want to do this with me?”

Applejack nodded. “Ah know how you feel, but Ah tell you honestly that Ah would be right honored if you would be the sire for our foal.”

I thought about it for a long moment. “Okay, I’ll do it on two conditions.”

Both mares cocked their heads and looked at me quizzically. “What are they?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“First – you know me. You know that I would want to be a part of the life of any foal that I beget despite the law that says I don’t automatically have that right. I want the foal to know I am her sire and will at least be happy to have me in her life, even if just occasionally.”

“Well, duh!” Rainbow replied.

Applejack glared at her before adding, “Family is everything to us Apples. We won’t exclude you, Ah promise.”

“Great! That just leaves condition number two.” I looked at Rainbow sternly. “I want you to join in.” Both mares were stunned and I continued. “I expected to do this with you, Dash, and that’s how I intend to fulfill my promise. You can use all the contraceptives you like though.”

“But they’re not 100% guaranteed to work during the Season!” the pegasus objected.

“I know, but that’s the risk that you will have to take if you want me to go through with this alteration to my promise.”

The two mares glanced at each other. Applejack looked as if she was pleading and I saw Dash wince. The blue pegasus sighed. “Okay, you have a deal.”

I must admit that I half expected her to call it off. However, her commitment to AJ outweighed her personal desires and that impressed me. I turned to my wife and kissed her. “Pardon us, love. A stallion’s gotta do what a stallion’s gotta do.”

“Indeed. Come back when you’re finished with them. Trixie has a special new trick she wants to show you.”

That’s my kinky mare!

I took Rainbow and Applejack to the Ponyville Hospital to pick up contraceptives – both the magical and the physical types. The prismatic mare complained that they would be cheaper at Rich’s Barnyard Bargains. When I pointed out that these types of medical supplies were free to anypony that asked a qualified doctor or nurse, she huffed.

Applejack picked up on the cause right away. “What’s wrong, sugarcube? Tired of this here stallion getting’ the best of ya again?” That just earned a scowl from her wife.

As we strode into the entry hall of the Castle of Friendship, I recommended we travel by daggerscale portal to Canterlot. Twilight overheard us and suggested we use one of her rooms instead.

I smirked. “Well, there is one room that certainly has seen use for that purpose.” I raised my voice. “Castle! Show us the way to Twilight and Thorax’s love shack!”

“Oh no, no, no, no, no!” said the purple mare while Applejack and Rainbow had a good laugh.

Twilight took a deep breath then placed her hoof on the nearest wall. The spot lit with a dull orange glow. I glanced at Applejack. She nodded. “Ah showed her how it’s done.”

The purple alicorn smiled sweetly. “Castle – would you mind pointing my friends to a chamber suitable for procreation?”

An orange dotted line zoomed away from the spot on the wall, heading into a corridor on the third floor.

Twilight growled. “One that is not my room.” More chuckling from the couple.

The dots retreated back to where my co-ruler’s hoof touched the wall. They then reappeared, this time leading to a staircase that I knew went to the sub-basement.

Applejack turned to me. “Alrighty. Let me see if’n the Season makes any difference.” She waved her hooves in a very poor imitation of one of my wife’s acts. “Presto! Change-o!”

I dutifully switched to my stallion body and posed in what I hoped was a handsome manner. Behind me, I heard Twilight take a deep breath—doubtless to avoid any more hormones.

The Element of Honesty looked me up and down then trotted to my side. She shoved her nose into my mane and took a long sniff. Pulling her head back, she sneezed then shrugged. “Better, but yer still kinda homely.” However, the farm mare’s flagging tail told me wasn’t entirely immune to a stallion’s hormones.

I said, “I thought that was a high compliment for farm folk.”

That earned me an angry stare. “Oh. So it’s gonna be one of those sessions.”

I laughed. “Sorry, not sorry. I promise to make it up to you.”

Applejack said, “That’s fine by me.” She turned to the purple mare. “We’ll letcha know how it goes, Twi.”

Rainbow didn’t miss a beat. “Don’t go to sleep yet. We might have to go back to Plan A. Coming, Mark?”

I trotted over and gave Twilight a nuzzle. “Thanks.”

Her smile lost some of its strain. “No prob—GRK!”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. Oops, my bad. Forgot about the hormones.

The purple mare said in a rush, “GottaGoSeeThoraxRightNowBye!” In a flash of magic, she was gone. I guess she took out the wine cork nose plugs too soon.

Applejack’s voice carried up from the stairwell. “Ya comin’ or not, Mark?”

I hurried to catch up.

The dots led to a corridor I had never visited. If the mares’ facial expressions were any judge, neither of my companions had been here either.

Rainbow Dash asked, “This is the bottom level, right? The basement? Twilight’s wind tunnel is down the other way.”

I said, “Yes it is.” I picked up my pace to reach the entrance indicated by the dashed line running along the floor. I turned back to face the mares as I used my magic to open the double doors. “And now ladies, please step into my boudoir.”

That earned me a chuckle which turned into open-mouthed shock at the scene behind me.

I spun around. “Whoa!”

The room was lit only by the angry red flames dancing in the room’s fireplace. Handles for branding irons stuck out of a glowing bed of coals. Scattered around the room were an X-cross, benches, cages of all sizes, collars, straps, whips…

I closed the doors and tried not to sound panicked. “Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.”

Rainbow Dash rolled onto her back, laughing. Applejack shook her head. “Ah had no idea that this here castle had a sense a humor.”

The farm mare put her hoof on a crystal wall, causing the spot to glow orange. She raised her head to look at the ceiling. “Ah’m sorry we wasn’t bein’ clear! Ah want an Apple Family romantic honeymoon suite, not a Rarity casual date tryout room!”

A low rumble came from everywhere around us. An orange dashed line spiraled across the wall until it stopped at the next set of double doors.

Rainbow got back on her hooves. “Didya just get the castle to laugh, Applesmack?”

The Element of Honesty lowered her hoof. “Ah believe so, and don’t call me Applesmack.”

“Made ya say it.”

I trotted over to the indicated double doors. Cautiously, I peered inside. A princess-sized four-poster bed, lots of throw pillows, and an elegant décor in peach and shades of white.

I sighed. “Much better.”

#

Making love with an earth pony was unusual but pleasant. I was able to use my full alicorn strength without fear of harming her, and she seemed to get quite a kick out of that. I was a bit more careful with Rainbow Dash though, but we enjoyed ourselves. Then I rutted AJ again to be extra sure. Okay, that wasn’t really necessary but we did it as a threesome and it was great fun. And although I knew that this fulfilled my promise, I was pretty sure that Rainbow would come calling again one day. And I wouldn’t say no.

#

Applejack successfully conceived as expected. Much to Rainbow’s relief, she didn’t.

The day came when the farm mare dropped her tools and said, “It’s time.” Word came to me during the afternoon Court session which I concluded at the normal time. Experience told me that the foal’s birth would be a few hours away as yet. I collected my herd and we went visiting Sweet Apple Acres. Everypony gathered in the living room downstairs. It was a tight fit, with only Big Mac, the CMC, and Granny Smith occupying the furniture. The rest of us made use of the floor. Granny had the good sense to take a nap in her rocking chair.

It was about midnight when we heard the squalls of the newborn emanating from Applejack’s room upstairs. Granny Smith woke up immediately and, with a little help from Apple Bloom, went up to see her great-grandchild. Big Mac gave us a knowing wink as everyone waited patiently. Let the matriarch have her moment.

When we eventually joined the others, we finally had our curiosity assuaged. Applejack was propped up against some pillows with Rainbow Dash’s wing around her shoulders. She had their foal in her forelegs – a filly, we were informed. She was an earth pony with a pale pink coat. But her most outstanding features were her mane and tail – they were colored like an aurora, just like Marklestia’s. Rainbow gave me a chagrined smile but Applejack only had eyes for her foal. She didn’t care about the unusual hues – she had the daughter that she had longed for.

And me? I was a proud sire. I looked forward to spending some quality time with Breezy in the future. Oh! They named her Orchard Breeze. Dash nicknamed her Breezy. Don’t blame me! Okay, I suggested the name, but Rainbow ran with it.

Because Trixie had conceived immediately after Applejack, naturally our latest foal arrived later that week. To our pleasure, it was a colt – a pegacorn this time. I had secretly been hoping for a pegasus because Trixie had her unicorn daughter, and a brother for Gemini who could fly was very desirable. At least this time we got two traits without two forms. He had an orange coat which reminded me of Trixie’s mother, but with a golden mane and tail with green and brown stripes running through both. Green eyes too. And like Allura, he seemed quite normal.

“Nice to see some other coloration than green or blue, don’t you think?” I asked my tired wife.

“Trixie only cared that she would bear a colt this time. Candy stripes would have been acceptable.” She frowned a little. “Although Trixie swears that the foal looked redder when she first laid eyes on him.”

“Trick of the light, I suppose. Are you ready for visitors yet?”

“Give Trixie fifteen more minutes and then you may show them in.”

The midwife passed a restorative drink to her patient and Trixie quaffed the entire contents in seconds. Childbirth was thirsty business. After she passed the glass back, I began brushing her frazzled mane. I knew Trixie would want to look her best for the others, and she had earned some TLC. The new foal would be hogging all of that soon enough. For now though, the colt’s only interest was the contents of his mother’s udder, so while he was occupied, I made sure that my wife felt loved.

Trixie eventually nudged me away and told me to fetch everyone. I threw open the door and shouted, “It’s a colt!”

There was a flurry of congratulations and a surge of ponies into the room. Even earth pony strength could not have prevented me from being pushed aside. I then went over to the window to open the curtains further to let in more sunlight.

As I rejoined the others, Rarity said, “How perfectly darling he is! Oh, but quite the challenge to make an outfit to suit that green mane.”

Say what? Green? I moved my fashion-loving mare gently out of the way to see what the heck she was talking about. The foal did have a green mane and a lemon-yellow coat too! I looked up to meet Trixie’s eyes. She just shook her head in disbelief.

“Only you, Dowser. It could only ever be you.”

While that remark puzzled everyone else, it didn’t take long for them to figure it out. Over the period of an hour or so, the now-sleeping colt gradually shifted hue through green, blue, violet, red, and back to the orange that I had first seen.

Everyone debated our foal’s name for a long time with his remarkable trait in mind before settling on Spotlight. Yeah, that was Trixie’s suggestion. It was still a lot better than our guests’ other picks – Carnival and Circus Day. No pony had the slightest clue why I suggested the name ‘Andy Warhol.’ I quit while I was ahead.

A week later, our herd was unceremoniously summoned to Sweet Apple Acres. Luna joined us in the daggerscale portal room, informing us that she also had been roused from bed by an urgent summons thanks to Spike’s dragonfire scroll delivery.

In very little time, all of us stood in the yard in front of the farmhouse. Applejack held her daughter in her hooves, bundled up in a blanket gifted by Fluttershy at the baby shower. For the moment, none of us could see the foal’s face. The farm mare seemed displeased while Rainbow Dash had an eyebrow raised. Both were looking directly at me.

Applejack said, “Ah figured this needed to come to the attention of all y’all.”

Rainbow Dash said, “Every morning, Breezy’s—”

“Her name is Orchard Breeze!” interrupted Applejack.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s what I said. So – Breezy’s mane and tail…” The pegasus got a smile out of her wife’s growl. “… has been different every morning. No doubt 'cause her father's kinda odd.”

Penny said, “Yes. Just like the sea is ‘kinda wet’.”

Rainbow smiled then continued. “First, it was Trixie’s platinum tresses, then Rarity’s overly-curly purple hair. Yesterday was Penumbra’s colors.”

My bodyguard gasped and smiled. “Fangs, too?”

Applejack said, “Nope. Sorry.”

Rainbow glared at the interruption. “A-a-a-anyway. All that made some sense 'cause of Mark’s dilly-dallying and all that.”

I frowned.

Applejack said, “Ah was half-expectin’ ta see Chrysalis’ sparkly hair today. Turns out this mornin’ was different.” She swiveled the foal around so we could see her face and dark blue mane. A mane that waved in a non-existent wind. A mane with stars that twinkled even in the bright sunlight. I was speechless.

Luna looked at the foal, then each of my wives. “'Tis apparent that this is a herd matter.” With a flash, she was gone.

That left every mare’s eyes fixed squarely on me. That included a happy burbling Breezy. None of the other stares were as friendly.

I stammered. “Look… obviously, Orchard Breeze inherited some amount of shape-changing ability from me. She’s just better at it in some ways.” This was met by silence. I may have imagined it, but even the birds seemed to have stopped making noise. “Luna and I have never done any… anything like that. We’ve barely hugged.”

A single cough from Penumbra, then more silence.

“I mean, don’t we want our foals to exceed us in every way? Applejack, you should be proud of your foal!”

“Oh, ah am, sugarcube. Just thought yer herdmates might be plum interested. Sure looks like Ah was right.”

I sputtered for a few more seconds before it finally hit me. I sighed. “I fell for it again, didn’t I?”

Every mare cracked up, some of them rolling on the ground.

Luna teleported back in. “What did I miss? Did Mark surmise I visited Orchard Breeze earlier this week? What sayeth he?”

Chrysalis stood up and green flames covered her. In a moment, she had taken on my appearance.

My faux-self stammered and looked around wildly, ears splayed back onto ‘his’ head. “Why are you all looking at me like that? We’re just friends! Friends with lots of benefits!” More waves of laughter. “We’ve never even kissed! Except for that one time we were both drunk… and that time behind the circus tent… and that time we woke half of Baltimare… and that time—”

I sat down and waved to the new parents with a hoof. I levitated Breezy out of her mother’s grasp so Applejack could freely join in on the merriment. As I cradled the foal in my forelegs, the imaginative retelling and raucous laughter continued all around us. I leaned closer to my daughter. “Don’t you worry, little one. Uncle Mark will keep you safe from all these crazy mares.” I felt Penumbra kiss my ear. I knew it was her because she nipped it a bit, too.

I sighed. “At least, I’ll try.”

I sat motionless on the floor as my teacher circled me.

Penumbra said, “Feel the energy. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the universe together. Discord knows this innately, which is why he does not require my training. Twilight Sparkle only understands this intellectually. She does not allow the knowledge to permeate her very soul—to reach the untapped well of creativity within her. You, my apprentice, must learn that every moment is an opportunity. Every being is a potential target or collaborator. Let go of the restrictions holding you back.”

The bamboo wand struck my withers but I did not flinch. It still hurt, but my focus allowed the pain to drift away without even a twitch. I heard the familiar WHOOMP of a scroll appearing by dragonfire. Without opening my eyes, I reached out a hoof and let it drop into my grasp.

“The contents of that scroll will be your catalyst. Do not fail me, my apprentice.”

Dutifully, I opened the scroll and scanned its contents. My mind rapidly created and discarded various correlations until one stuck. A smile grew on my face.

I stood and rolled up the scroll. “This lines up very well with upcoming events. I’ll need to make some arrangements…”

The following Saturday, Trixie woke me well before sunrise. I had no complaints given how she did so. A half-hour later, I followed my wife to the entrance of the Sun Room, This was our go-to location for entertaining fellow royals, whether from our dimension or others. Penumbra and the changeling guard Iridescence were our escorts as was standard for Saturdays.

I blinked when I saw the Royal Sisters trotting up the opposite corridor. I said, “Good morning Luna, Celestia.” I nodded to the Solar Alicorn. “I heard you were back in town. Getting a resupply for your next gallivant with Daring Do?”

The alabaster mare laughed. “That’s part of the reason. If Daring had not packed a supply of red rubber balls, we might not have escaped the feral diamond dogs under the Solitary Mountain. We will need to prepare better if we want to reach the bottommost chambers.”

I followed the former diarchs through the doorway. I heard Twilight Sparkle before I saw her.

“Eeeeeee!”

Our co-ruler practically flew into Celestia’s embrace. Actually, she probably did.

“I need to hear all about your adventures! Plus I have exciting news about exactly how similar ponies are to changelings. The Plague Dimension’s advances in genetic sequencing have opened up a whole new field of research! My studies also show that plant and animal species—”

Trixie’s horn glowed and her blue field forced the purple mare’s mouth closed. “Enough with the science, please. Remember that we are here for a reason at this early hour.”

I moved forward. “And what reason is that? I forgot to ask.”

Luna turned to me. “Thy continuing education, certes.”

I looked between her and her sister. Both wore the same expectant smile. I said, “I need to learn how to move the sun and moon. That’s the only explanation given how close we are to moonset and sunrise.” I turned to my wife. “But why wasn’t I told in advance? And aren’t you going to join in?”

Trixie closed her eyes and waved a hoof. “Miss Twilight recommended you not go in with expectations that would cloud your ability to learn properly. Also, this way you can then instruct your Great and Powerful wife on how to avoid the dangers of such an endeavor.”

Joy. Relegated to a combination of Royal Taste Tester and Crash Test Dummy. Again.

I sighed. “I suppose the first part makes sense. I simply don’t have any time to make assumptions.” I turned to my alicorn teachers. “OK, ladies. I’m definitely approaching this with an open mind. Although if I didn’t know better, I’d almost swear this was yet another chance to get in a laugh at my expense.”

Luna chortled while Celestia put on a hurt expression. “Why Mark! Would we ever do that to you?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Luna said, “Thou dost wound us most unjustly.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. What do I do?”

“Beginest thou with a clear mind and full heart. Gently reach out and touch the celestial object. Ask it respectfully to do thy bidding.”

Celestia added. “Wait patiently and without judgment. The sun and moon need much time to gauge your worth and character.”

I took a deep breath and cleared my thoughts before lighting my horn. I concentrated on the moon that rested near the horizon. No pony interrupted me as I set to the task.

After a minute, I said aloud. “Wait. It can’t be that simple.” I raised my right hoof and the moon trembled. “Could it?”

As I gently lowered my outstretched hoof, the moon dropped out of sight.

Luna’s voice sounded confused. “So soon? But thy link—”

Before anypony could say anything, I snapped my left hoof above my head. The sun bounced into the sky. Abruptly, it was mid-day.

“Oops. Too high.” I jerked my hoof lower, making the solar orb touch the horizon.

Celestia said, “But… but you can’t have…”

I yelled. “Hey! This is fun!” Lifting both hooves, I made the sun and moon rise upward then dance in the sky as I swayed to and fro.

“Bookmark Barbells, please stop showing off.”

I heard Twilight’s voice next. “Mark, we get the point. You’re a natural.”

I smiled and looked over my shoulder. My co-rulers frowned at me. Neither’s horn was lit. For their part, the Royal Sisters snapped their gaze out the window then to each Triarch in turn. Their irises had shrunk to pinpricks and I detected a look of panic on their faces.

Celestia stammered. “Ahhhh, Mark? Would you… stop, please?”

Luna added in a rush, “Indeed! Desist posthaste.”

“Nah. Twilight tells me that practice makes perfect, and besides – I’m having a great time.” I looked out the window again. “I could do this all day and all night.”

Both sisters let out a squeak that would do a mouse proud. Snickers and snorts emanated from the empty space at the far side of the room. I turned back in time to see Celestia and Luna whip their heads in that direction. A curtain shimmered in mid-air then disappeared, revealing three sets of Celestias and Lunas, all different. Well, not altogether different. All were laughing uproariously.

I walked over to the gaping alicorns and put a wing around each. “By happy coincidence, the Triarchy is hosting a trade meeting with the rulers of three parallel universes. The Equestrian Diarchs of the House Path, Gender-Swapped, and Recently Reformed Discord dimensions were all glad to help prank you too.”

The House Path Luna stopped laughing long enough to say, “That squeak! I haven’t heard that since I was a foal!”

The male Celestia said, “Twilight, you have to make us all a copy of your speak-and-see crystal.”

“No problem.” My co-ruler levitated the diamond from its carrier on top of the room’s central table.

I pulled the two sisters closer to me with my wings. “Well, since we went through all the trouble of getting you to the castle early this morning, I only think it’s right that you two stay for breakfast. Does that sound fair?”

I noticed a wordless exchange between Celestia and Luna. It reminded me of what Flim and Flam could do, but the communication between sisters seemed more nuanced somehow. I guess that’s something over a century of working as a team could develop.

Celestia looked down at me with a fake smile. “Of course, Prince Mark. That sounds fair. Fair as can be.”

Luna had the same look, but her stare was more piercing. “Verily, 'tis the sporting thing to do.”

Now it was my turn to stammer. “Ahhhh. OK then. Come on. Let's find a spot to sit.” Somehow, their letting me guide them to the table didn’t help me feel that I had convinced them.

Let it be known that the Astronomers Union picketed the castle for almost an hour the following evening. They were quite put out by my “rash and careless actions”, but not enough to change their sleep schedule. By the time I arrived to watch the curious event, the out-of-shape and largely aged ponies had run out of gas and were leaning on their signs. The group was debating whether to continue their chants, choose shorter slogans to conserve their breath, or just go home.

I strode out to the group, apologized to each member, promised not to play with the heavenly bodies in such a manner ever again. After that, I offered to buy them a round of drinks or three.

Those astronomers were not the most raucous crowd when they got tipsy, but they did reveal their passion for friendship and science. The only downside happened the next morning when an excited Twilight quizzed me about the scientific research and theories I had heard the night before. Let me tell you, a non-stop chattering alicorn that gets louder the more excited she gets is no fun when you are a stallion with a hangover.

“Your wife would like to hold your hoof.”

I looked up with a start. “What?”

Trixie’s midwife Calming Hooves frowned at me. “I said, ‘Princess Trixie needs your help. Now.’ ”

“Yes! Of course!”

I trotted over to the bed in our herd’s chambers. Trixie waved her left hoof in my direction, grunting and groaning. I quickly grabbed hold, only to be reminded my wife was an alicorn now with the requisite strength. After getting back on my hooves, I braced myself for the ordeal to come.

I looked around our otherwise empty bedroom. “Wait, where are Doctor Bellows and Nurse Gentle Touch?”

My wife let out a growl and nearly toppled me over again.

I said, “Don’t worry, dear. I’m here for you.”

The midwife shook her head. “Sometimes these deliveries happens much sooner than anypony expects. Your little one is in a bit of a hurry.”

I tried to remember. Didn’t Trixie want the other herdmares with her? A second hoof grabbing mine and pulling downward interrupted my musings. All my attention was back on my wife… or at least trying to arm wrestle with her while she loudly suffered through her contractions.

Just as I was getting winded, I heard crying followed a few seconds later by Trixie going limp. I looked up to see Calming Hooves beaming down at my child. She held them out, bundled up in a blanket.

With trembling hooves, I took my baby and turned it around… only to see the happy face of a blue baby goat staring up at me. The curving horns and goatee beard removed any doubt. Grogar cooed adorably before saying, “Dada?”

I gaped, my mouth working but no words coming out.

“What vexes thee, my husband?” I turned to look at Trixie. “Dost thou not approve of thy spawn?”

Everything fell into place. The confusion that addled my brain disappeared. “Luna!”

My accusation was met with riotous laughter. ‘Calming Hooves’ rushed onto the bed to embrace my ‘wife’. The forms of the two hugging mares slowly shifted into the Royal Sisters. The baby in my arms blew a raspberry at me before dissolving into mist.

Celestia stopped laughing long enough to say, “That face! Oh, by the sun and moon, that face!”

Luna wiped tears from her eyes. “A laudable prank, my sister. I wish his herd beheld Mark so afeared.”

Scowling, I looked around the surroundings. The areas of the room in my peripheral vision were strangely out of focus. The parts that were in focus looked flat and lacked detail. Well, then if this was a lucid dream…

I willed a large wooden bucket into existence above the bed and upended it. A moment later, I was sitting in Luna’s previous spot on the bed getting drenched. When I wiped my sodden mane out of my eyes, the sisters had stopped laughing but seemed no less amused from their spot at the foot of the bed.

Luna said, “A worthy attempt. It might have succeeded against aught but the Mistress of Dreams.”

I growled. Not even close to a level playing field. More like playing on a cliff face with an ibex. That’s when a thought hit me that made my ire disappear. “Wait, so you can make any two people share a dream? Could you bring Trixie into mine?”

Celestia tapped the frame of the room’s full-length mirror. The glass popped like a bubble, showing a beach complete with palm trees and a couple of lounge chairs.

“You were right, Luna. That was buckets of fun! But now we are done exacting our just revenge. Let’s leave poor wet Mark in peace.” She stepped through.

Luna trotted after her sister. “Certes. If she be willing. Try not to say I oweth thee. ‘Tis simply just payback. Enjoy your defeat.” The night alicorn stuck her head through the now-portal.

“Hot dogs!” I yelled.

Luna stopped in her tracks. She pulled back far enough to give me a skeptical look over her shoulder. “What meanest thou?”

I got out of bed and moved closer. “Hot dogs. Hot dogs like you’ve never tasted before.”

I caught a glimpse of Celestia tilting her head. She was already lying on a lounge chair with a coconut drink in one hoof. “Coming, sister?”

Luna retreated the rest of the way into my room and tapped the mirror frame. The reappearance of the glass cut off whatever protest Celestia was about to voice.

With a flash of dark fire, Nightmare Moon stood before me. She put her face up to mine and smiled. “Explain.”

I rolled my eyes. “I find fangs and slit pupils to be sexy, not intimidating, remember?”

The dark mare in front of me blinked then stepped back, reverting to the blue alicorn’s form. “We may flirt later. For now, thou mentioned matters most serious.”

I smiled. “Hot dogs roasted on a stick, but cut in a spiral. The fire crisps up so much more of the frankfurter that way.”

“And the quality?”

“Abysmally low. The cheapest I can find. Not even pork or beef byproducts. One hundred percent turkey.”

Luna swallowed. “Onions?”

“Cooked slowly in an iron skillet until they are practically see-through… then caramelized with a flash of heat. And that’s not mentioning the sautéed bell peppers or the twenty varieties of mustard.”

Drool escaped the side of her mouth as she swallowed again. “All this for bringing thy wife hence. Very well, I –”

I had her now. Might as well ask for the moon. “No, no, no. You want much more than just a single package of hot dogs. You want this delicacy on a regular basis. In return, I will need Trixie’s and my dreams to be joined once per month.” I smirked. “And the first night needs to be special.”

My wife glared at me from across the table. Big Mac and Discord sat to my left while Rainbow Dash and Spike occupied seats to my right. “The tired and contented Trixie has told you before that she has no time for your Ogres and Oubliettes game.”

Luna stood behind me, waving a hoof. Obligingly, the surroundings changed to a dark and seedy bar. I smelled saltwater, rotting fish, and spilled beer. The other patrons stood or sat immobile, frozen in time.

The Night Alicorn said, “Which is why thy husband found a period with no activity scheduled. Come, come, Your Highness. Thou art asleep. There is no better opportunity for gentle merriment.”

Spike waved his clawed hand. “You can be someone else for a change. It’s pretty awesome!”

Rainbow clopped him gently on the head. “That’s my line.”

My wife shrugged. “The hardworking Trixie is quite comfortable being herself.”

Big Mac leaned forward. “What Spike means is that you can let loose. Become someone completely different for a while.”

My wife frowned but her ears pointed directly at Big Mac.

Discord’s entire body shifted between color, greyscale, and black and white. “Take a risk, young mare. The worst that can happen is you don’t participate a second time.”

I adjusted my dungeon master’s screen and picked up two ten-sided dice. “Think of this as a new kind of performance. How convincing can you act out the role of a…” I rolled the dice and looked at my character generation instructions. “Chaotic Neutral Assassin?”

The light-hearted mood at the table came to an end. Darkness swirled about Trixie for a moment before retreating. The light blue alicorn now wore a cloak and wide-brimmed hat that blended into the background, showing only her eyes. Trixie threw it to the side and stood. Leather boots covered the lower half of her rear legs. Her thighs held scabbards for three throwing daggers each. The patterns in her cloak and hat shifted twice more until they showed blue and yellow stars on a purple field. She smiled coldly. “I take it ‘chaotic neutral’ means Gleaming Blade is unpredictable? Even I don’t know what dangerous whim will strike my fancy, moment by moment.”

Big Mac shared a worried look with Discord. “Uhhh… yes, Gleaming Blade. That’s right. Are you OK with that?”

Trixie only had eyes for me. She did not acknowledge that the big earth stallion had spoken to her.

I tore my eyes away. “OK! Everyone else can continue with your characters from the last session.” Flurries of white fog sprang up to cover the rest of the adventurers. When the mist cleared, the four wore familiar guises. Both Big Mac and Discord were ax-wielding barbarians. Rainbow Dash carried a cleric’s staff and short sword. Black mage robes billowed around Spike who lifted a miniature version of the Staff of Sacanas. Luna levitated me and a portion of the table. As the dungeon master, I would watch the party’s progress and roll for special events as needed. Because this was my dream fabric, I had some control over the background. Fight scenes with more than one opponent were beyond my abilities, however. That’s when I would be relying on Luna’s help. Around us, the tavern came to life. Laughter and curses filled the air.

I raised my voice to be heard. “We’ll have a short, introductory adventure. Last session was more cerebral, so tonight you get action. A fanatic cult of minotaurs slew the inhabitants of the nearest village. The seneschal of the feudal lord’s castle has offered a thousand pieces of gold for the group that routs out this infection…”

In the end, it was a close thing. Discord and Spike fell to the final charge of the cultists, reducing both to translucent representations of their characters. That gave Big Mac and Rainbow enough time to assault the Great Leader from the front. Two of Trixie’s blades emerged from the massive bull’s throat. When he fell, Trixie strode off his back, let out a blood-curdling scream, and assaulted the few remaining minotaurs. Big Mac and Rainbow followed suit. A minute later, only the three adventurers remained standing.

While the earth pony and pegasus caught their breath, Trixie strode up to the dais. Rather than searching the large minotaurs’ body for a key, she picked up a discarded mace and mounted the makeshift throne. Trixie smashed the small bejeweled chest.

I rolled a twenty-sided die and looked at my relic table.

Trixie gasped when she pulled a jet black horn-sheath from the wreckage. Pulses of dark purple light raced around the silver wires adorning the piece.

Rainbow Dash landed next to Trixie. “Ha! That’s gotta be worth a castle or two! Come on, Gleamy. Let’s sell it, pick up our reward, and get our party members revived.”

Trixie/Gleaming Blade cackled as she slid the horn sheath into place. “I have a better idea.”

Four translucent adventurers sat around the same table at the seedy bar. All hung their heads morosely. Spike reached out a hand for his root beer, only to have his appendage pass right through.

Trixie beamed triumphantly, dropping the oversized bag of gold bits between the tankards, knocking them all over in the process.

I groused as I erased a line of penciled text on her character sheet. “Well, there’s no denying it. You have officially changed alignment. Congratulations. You are now Chaotic Evil.” Looking up, I found my wife had silently closed the distance by climbing onto the table. She moved my dungeon master’s screen to the side and grabbed my head so she could kiss me deeply.

When she let go, her eyes danced with dark magic. “A most enjoyable adventure, Dowser. You have convinced Trixie. Expect me to attend your future sessions.” She booped me gently on the nose with a throwing dagger. “Only, do not believe I shall be so gentle and friendly next time.”

Trixie closed her eyes and disappeared with a pop. I knew that meant she had chosen to wake up.

Luna clopped me on the shoulder. “Such delicious evil! Thou art verily a most fortunate stallion.”

I looked up to see four unhappy stares. By the rules of the O&O club, all levels and equipment were now reset. Everyone would have to roll new characters for the next adventure.

I sat back in my chair. I’m pretty sure I had the million-mile stare on my face. “What have I done?”

As part of our efforts to support Princess Gilda’s work to rebuild Griffonstone, the Triarchy had sent her many skilled workers. Wherever possible, we included Equestrian griffons knowing full well that ponies would earn less respect from the surly citizens of that country. We had also sent Royal Guards to train Gilda’s. That had already started paying off when the battle with Grogar had happened and we had some troops from Griffonstone supporting ours.

One unexpected result turned up in the form of an envelope that Gabby dropped off today during my stint at Day Court. That was unusual in itself as business between our kingdoms was normally done via the RCS – Royal Courier Service. It was addressed to all three Triarchs, so I waited until we all met for lunch. Twilight used her magic to slit the envelope and extract the letter and then started reading it out to us.

“Princess Gilda of Griffonstone wishes to announce to the Triarchs of Equestria her engagement to Major Satin Plume of Canterlot. You are formally invited to a celebration to be held the evening of Wednesday 23rd—”

Penny burst out incredulously, “Ol’ Stick-Up-His-Plot got landed?!”

My wife smirked. “It would seem so. Trixie is already looking forward to learning how Gilda managed it.”

I chuckled. “Me too. I remember his utter disdain for the Griffonstonian soldiers and his complaints about how he would have to spend all day teaching them how to find their own talons. I wonder when he found the time to date Gilda?”

Chrysalis said, “Obviously Princess Gilda saw something she liked in the cock. There is a reason why he always accompanied her to meetings here in Canterlot.”

I arched an eyebrow at her. “So, it’s not a surprise for you?”

“Of course not. Their efforts to keep their relationship quiet added a tasty tang to their feelings for each other.”

Trixie said, “You could have told us about that.”

“Yes, but your astonishment was more entertaining.”

We all went to the soiree and saw for ourselves how smitten the two were with each other now that they weren’t hiding the fact. If it wasn’t for how long it takes to arrange a royal wedding, I figured they would tie the knot on the spot. Nevertheless, it was only a few weeks later that we were back in Griffonstone for the nuptials. Griffon wedding receptions are raucous but fun.

Exactly one normal griffon gestation period after the wedding day, Gilda gave birth to a son whom they named Glenn. His fur and some wing feathers were various shades of brown like his mother’s. The feathers on his head and neck, and also his wing primaries, were purple except for a yellow crest and patches around the eyes. A new dynasty had begun.

Speaking of weddings, I would be remiss to not mention the marriage of one of my oldest Equestrian friends. Let me give you a clue – Pinkie did not cater the reception party. That was because she was too busy organizing her nuptials which was not her normal forte. That gave us the opportunity to change things up. But I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

Pinkie had taken on an apprentice. The party business had grown to the point where even the frenetic pink pony could not cope anymore by herself. Help had come in the form of one of Thorax’s evolved changeling subjects who expressed genuine passion in that line of work. He gave his name as Guffaw. While I am fairly sure that wasn’t his original name, that’s the only one we ever learned. Well, it’s not difficult to see how some being sensitive to emotions would get caught up in Pinkie’s joy and pleasure by making ponies (and others) happy. With the time saved because of two sets of hooves working on the jobs, the duo found the opportunity to get to know each other a lot better. Pinkie gives so much of herself to others that I think she was pleased to get some personal attention from him. They were a perfect couple. Better Guffaw than that other party-planner, Cheese Sandwich, I reckon. From what Rarity told me, there was a certain degree of competitiveness between those two that could have affected their relationship. And by “a certain degree,” of course I mean “Pinkie Pie-level insanity.”

Anyway, Applejack was the one who threw the reception for Pinkie because “She’s family!” Plenty of apple treats and cider flowed that evening. I got up on stage to do a guitar set with Rarity and AJ. That was a lesser-known talent of my second wife. It turned out that it was good dexterity practice for her needlework. I had to agree. Once I had mastered manipulating my frog to pick out tunes on my guitar, the quality of my playing vastly improved. As for the farm mare, she had been plucking strings on the banjo since fillyhood.

We were all curious as to whether Pinkie and Guffaw will have children. Neither was in a hurry to find out yet. Too many parties to plan!

At long last, I was finally able to fulfill a promise to Scootaloo.

The filly had never been able to fly due to a birth defect that prevented her from using her pegasus magic for flight. While small, her wings were still within the range of what was normal (I’m looking at you, Bulk Biceps!) and she certainly had enough muscle strength. The problem was how to create an alternate path to channel mana into her wings to achieve what physics alone would not. The solution was twofold.

First of all, I arranged with Techbird from the House Path dimension to create a set of prosthetics to attach to her wings. These replaced the defective mana conduits and energized the wings. However, the network that touched every feather in a normal pegasus’ appendages was atrophied in the young mare and the magic could not do its job properly. So, while Scootaloo could now get lift, she had little control. The artificial wings that Techbird had built for Long Path and the jet-powered armor made for the Royal Sisters bypassed this problem, but it was still incredibly crude compared to the real deal.

That’s where Phil came in. My best friend had taken a strong interest in magitek and had been exploring ways of integrating his area of expertise with that. The result was a magitek neural link that was implanted in Scootaloo’s neck. Phil programmed and calibrated the system that converted her brain’s instructions into commands for the artificial network projected into her wings by the prostheses. You should have heard the scream of joy when the filly first took off under her own power and control. The laughter after she crashed a little later relieved our minds. She was almost exactly like I had been when I first arrived in Equestria. Scootaloo had to learn how to fly. There were probably many crashes in her future, but Rainbow Dash had agreed not to be her first flight instructor, so maybe she would get off more lightly than I had.

On one of those rare occasions when Trixie and I could take a day off, relax, and forget about running an empire for a while, I fell asleep in a chair out in the Royal Gardens, beneath the shade of the gazebo. I woke to the sensation of something tickling my hind hooves. I pried open my eyes to see a huge timberwolf licking the frogs of my hooves as they stuck out over the edge of the deckchair. It looked up at me with its big glowing green eyes and opened its mouth to expose its wooden fangs.

“WURF!”

“Gah!” I cried as I fell out of my chair before the creature started licking my face. “Gallus! Come and get your pet! He’s tasting me again!”

Twilight’s experiment in raising my son’s timberwolf pup using pony magic had proven to be spectacularly successful. The fearsome creature was the friendliest pet in the world and the only person he liked almost as much as my son was me for some unknown reason. Also a mystery was why Twiggy loved to lick me all the time. Fortunately, his breath was minty and far more pleasant than dog-slobber. The only way to stop the tongue bath was to scratch his ears. He leaned into my ministrations with his tongue lolling contentedly. It occurred to me that this was why he licked me – he had me well trained.

Gallus flew up looking quite embarrassed. “Sorry, Dad. As soon as we came through the portal from Ponyville, he shot off looking for you. Umm… seeing as you’re free, wanna play flying discs with us?”

Playing Frisbee with my son and his dog – what more normal thing could a father do? “Sure! Let’s go!”

Two and a half years after I was reunited with Phil, Rosa gave birth to a hippogriff. Well, actually a normal cute human girl, but when the proud parents brought Yolanda over to Equestria, we learned that she was truly a child of two worlds. Her Uncle Mark looked forward to flying with her.

Gallus graduated with honors! As he vowed he would, he immediately signed up for Royal Guard training. He would have a head start on most if not all of his fellow recruits. Penny had been giving him lessons ever since the young griffon had stated his intentions. His instructors would be in for a bit of a surprise. Nevertheless, he was starting from the bottom like everyone else. No nepotism in this family! Not that he asked for or expected any favors. He had every intention of proving himself worthy of being Captain of the Guard sometime in the future on his own merit.

However, the next induction date was not for another month. That gave him and Smolder the opportunity to spend some time together before he had to leave her for several weeks until the conclusion of boot camp. After all, they were now officially engaged. Gallus had proposed marriage immediately after the graduation ceremony. Funnily enough, she had been intending to do the same thing, figuring that if the mares in Equestrian society usually did the proposing, it would be up to her. Unsurprisingly, she had instantly answered yes. They planned to have the nuptials after he completed his training.

Smolder had no intention of moping around waiting for him though. She applied for a junior position on the Triarchy’s staff. It required her to dress smartly and learn court etiquette, but she took to it like a duck to water. If I hadn’t learned earlier about her secret love of girly things, I might have been shocked. Instead, I was impressed by how quickly she started to fit in, and that’s saying something. She was the first ever dragon who wanted to associate constantly with ponies and deal with the nobles. Actually, her dragon instincts worked in her favor when dealing with the latter. Between training from Raven, Twilight, Trixie, and Chrysalis, she soon had the upper crust treating her with due respect. If not, she wasn’t afraid to turn up the heat on them. Sometimes literally. I enjoyed those moments.

Rarity and Trixie were already working on the wedding plans. Frankly, I think the fashionista had been secretly designing gowns for Smolder since it became obvious that the dragon and the griffon were smitten with each other. Trixie intended the wedding to be spectacular. Knowing my wife, that would probably be an understatement.

A new class of drone had become apparent amid the second wave that Chrysalis had laid. While it remained to be seen if the trait would continue in the next waves when these matured, the idiosyncrasy was consistent from the first batch of eggs to the last. Sally and I decided to call them Companions. These particular drones never grew out of the love-sponge phase of their growth and attached themselves to a person both emotionally and psychologically. As best as we could determine, if a drone encountered someone who was a perfect match for them, a bond was formed between them. And this bond was not just one-way. Anypony… no any being who acquired a Companion cared deeply for them to the point where both soon became miserable without the presence of the other. While it would have been cruel to deliberately keep a pair apart to determine the consequences of long-term separation, as the years passed, that inevitably happened by accident anyway. We found that, on average, they were merely unhappy for the first week, turning surly by the second, and inconsolable by the third. We hoped not to find out what happened for longer periods.

Aside from that drawback, the relationship seemed mutually beneficial. There was an utter lack of selfishness between the pairs. Each one acted for the benefit of both in all things. I had direct learning experience due to one bonding with Allura. While they were both young, the drone Lacewing (nicknamed Lacy) was my daughter’s constant play companion. As they grew up, they went to school together, studied together, socialized together… you get the gist. And yes, they slept in the same bed. Not that we had intended that – they each had their own beds. It’s just that they were invariably found the next morning cuddled together in just one of them. They were adorable, really, but I wondered what it would mean when Allura would be old enough to become sexually interested in someone. That hurdle remained to be straddled in the future.

Children were not the only ones to acquire Companions. A number of the castle staff got one and some of the Royal Guards. In fact, anyone, regardless of species, risked the possibility of a lifelong partner if they encountered an unbonded Companion class drone. So far, it had only happened to single, unattached individuals which we were thinking might be a prerequisite for the match to be made. The catch was that there was no consistent physical trait to tell them apart from the other drones, so we had to raise them all the same way. It was entirely possible that a fully grown changeling would suddenly find themselves irresistibly drawn to someone they just met. Thus far, though, every bond had been a mutually joyous one.

Chrysalis said it ’s all part of her new plan to take over Equestria one cuddle-bug at a time. We’re doomed!

Pearl very quickly showed a talent for telekinesis and, in particular, self-levitation. I reached out to the best exponent of the latter to help train her. Starlight Glimmer was immensely pleased to be asked. If my filly was going to fly around the castle, I preferred that she would do that without crashing into things and hurting herself.

#

Phil introduced Pearl to comics from Earth. Not long after, she asked her mother to make a superhero costume for her to wear for Nightmare Night. I almost had a heart attack from the cuteness. She’s going to be the next champion of Truth, Justice, and the Equestrian Way!

#

Pearl was accepted into Celestia’s School For Gifted Unicorns. Tia already had her eye on my daughter as a potential mage. Pearl seemed keen and she was happy that her sister Diadem would be joining her there. The school hoped to learn more about changeling magic even as they taught the young princess pony magic. Sally was immensely pleased about this, but what mother doesn’t want the best for her children?

My pal, Spike, had grown into quite a handsome drake. However, because he had been a frequent associate since I had arrived in Equestria, it didn’t really hit me how much he had matured until the day he came asking me for dating advice. After I got over my surprise, I asked him why he had come to me. He wanted to talk “man-to-man” and since I had been so successful with the mares, I surely could help. How could I let him down? I didn’t want to disillusion him by telling him that I’d gained most of them by circumstance rather than actively pursuing a relationship. Instead, I highlighted what worked best between each of my wives and me, and to figure out what made his fillyfriend happy. I hope I got it right because Sweetie Belle might be upset with me, and that would make Rarity unhappy… and you get the picture.

#

Phew! Safe! Hearts And Hooves Day passed and Spike and Sweetie are now formally engaged. I’m glad that my pal grew out of his early obsession with Rarity and fixated on somepony closer to his age. I admit that I didn’t see the little filly eventually falling for a dragon, but I put it down to the success of our program to integrate the species.

Or Sweetie is just as kinky as her sister!

You know how siblings can get cranky with each other sometimes? And puberty can hit ponies just as hard as humans. Now put those together with Gemini. Their filly self was annoyed with their colt self and vice versa. Both aspects were feeling sexual urges that bugged their other half. I’m praying that this phase doesn’t last too long or else I might go nuts. There are no books written on how to deal with this unique problem. Trixie was tearing her mane out too occasionally. She would demand that I fix the problem and I had to remind her that she was the one who wanted a foal so badly. Of course, she pointed out that my exotic genes were responsible for this mess.

Marriage and family is definitely not all sunshine and roses. I will survive this.

Gemini got a coltfriend. Given the previous problems, I guess you’re wondering how a single pony could solve a dual problem. Well, it’s simple when the coltfriend is an alicorn changeling. Yes, Shiny Button found Gemini’s dual nature fascinating, and while he now stayed in alicorn form permanently, he was not adverse to swapping gender whenever our offspring was in male mode. I suppose I should have seen it coming. Prince Button had been making frequent visits to Canterlot, often with specious reasons. Naturally, he would often stay for dinner and, while he was here, Gemini’s behavior was much improved. I think I was too grateful for the reprieve to question his motives.

#

Prince Button formally asked for Gemini’s hoof in marriage. He even transformed into a biped and got down on bended knee to do it. I wonder where he picked up that idea? Gemini accepted and Shining Armor and I celebrated together with a bottle of the finest Eyrish whiskey. Our respective wives had to carry us home. Worth it!

Knock! Knock!

I looked up from the morning paper and set down my scone. Trixie spoke before I had the chance.

“Ah! This morning’s special visitor has arrived!”

That made me prick up my ears. At least one of us knew to expect someone at our morning repast.

Penny opened the door and I recognized the pink unicorn mare who shyly entered the small sunroom where Trixie and I always had our breakfast. Luster Dawn had graduated at the top of her class at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I scooted over a seat to allow the young mare to sit next to my wife.

“Trixie is glad you could make time to see us so promptly, Miss Dawn. Would you care for some tea or a scone?”

“No, thank you, Your Highness. I already had breakfast. You said you wanted to teach me a special lesson? Maybe advanced inanimate transmogrification theory?”

Luster Dawn refused my wife’s hospitality and hadn’t acknowledged that I existed. That matched my impressions of her from earlier meetings. She was wicked smart, able to concentrate to the exclusion of all other ponies, but socially inept. I wondered idly if Twilight Sparkle was the same way while a student? I smirked. Who was I kidding? Of course, she was!

The faux pas didn’t cause my wife to skip a beat. “Not today, I’m afraid. Tell me, my little pony. How much time have you spent with your friends since graduation last month?”

The pink mare shrugged. “Well, none. Friendship looks like more of a distraction than anything else and ultimately a waste of time.”

I suppressed a snort. Didn’t that sound familiar?

“I see. What is it that you want to do with your life, now that you have the freedom to choose your destiny?”

“Well, I’m not sure. I know I want to make a difference in the life of everypony… everyone. I’d like to be known as a mare that did great things.”

My wife smiled. “When did Sunset Shimmer become an accomplished pony?”

The pink mare shifted uneasily in her seat. “Thank you for arranging that meeting, Your Highness. She told me that during her time in Equestria, she didn’t do anything of note. Only after she made friends in her new home dimension did she make a difference.”

“And when you talked with Twilight Sparkle?”

“After befriending the other Elements.”

“And Moon Dancer?”

Luster Dawn’s ears drooped. “After you forced her to stop spending all of her time studying.”

Trixie leaned closer to the young mare. “In short, their greatness did not manifest until circumstances forced them to interact with others. Now then – do you have the courage to do the same, but of your own free will?”

Luster Dawn looked down at her forehooves. After a long pause, she said, “I’ve been concentrating on just learning for so long… I don’t have the slightest idea where to begin.” Her head jerked up and her eyes focused on my wife. “Is there a book I can read that will tell me?”

Trixie put a wing around the latest incarnation of brilliant but friendless mares. “No. There is no book. But if you allow it, Trixie will teach you how to become Great and Powerful… all while interacting with others.”

Penny and I exchanged knowing glances. We had a good idea where this was going.

The pink mare nodded her head. “Sure! Sounds like an adventure! How do I start?”

My wife pulled Luster Dawn a bit closer with her wing. “With the easiest audience to please. Trixie will help you develop your magic act to confound and amaze foals.”

I felt wind blow across my face and heard birds chirping from all directions. I was torn. Should I open my eyes or not?

On one hoof, the bed felt wonderful-- softer than cirrus clouds. On the other hoof, since when did birds come to rest on clouds?

In the end, my curiosity won out. What I saw made me sit up in bed with a gasp. I was on the roof above the Canterlot Castle Great Hall. The first thing I noticed was the distant countryside which showed the deep greens of mid-summer. Nearly see-through columns stood at the four corners of the bed. The material appeared to be a compromise between magic and clear glass. Together, they held up a sunshade fashioned from a shimmering, silver fabric. A brief gust of wind made sections blur and waver for a few seconds. Perhaps ten strides away, dozens of small picture frames hung from a wall made from the same material. A full-length sheet of mirrored glass – I think – floated nearby. My ears told me Trixie snoozed under the blankets to my side.

The shock of this unexpected scene jolted my brain into self-awareness. I said, “I’m in Trixie’s dream. Luna chose the beginning of the month this time.”

My wife groaned and shifted under the blankets. I smiled. It took true dedication to enjoy your sleep while asleep.

When I moved to get out of bed, I saw something that brought me up short. Lengthy fetlock hairs flowed like banners from my elongated, slender legs. Glancing up, I saw that my horn now outreached the one on my Marklestia form by a wide margin.

I practically galloped to the mirror, spreading my wings in surprise. The leading feathers of my larger wings retained my familiar green coat color, though now with a slight blue iridescence. Next came my coverts which matched the blue of Trixie’s coat. Finally, my primaries and secondaries gleamed with the yellow-gold of my mane before each feather ended with white tips. My body was sleek and I could feel the magic of all three tribes course through me. The most remarkable aspect of my appearance had to be the sparkles of light that emanated from my coat and feathers. It was as if some part of Luna’s starry mane effect had been adopted by my body.

I heard the whoomf of teleportation then felt my wife’s forelegs wrapping around my neck. In the mirror, I saw the blue alicorn had similarly been transformed. Her entire body from muzzle to back hoof now appeared as lithe as a greyhound or gazelle. Yellow and purple stars glistened from her coat and feathers.

“Wow.” It was all I could say.

She smiled. “Trixie is glad her beauty can still leave you speechless, even on the Triarchy’s Eleventy-eleventh anniversary.”

I blinked. “Wait, what?”

My wife let go and walked toward the wall of framed photographs. “Have you forgotten, Dowser? One thousand, one hundred, and eleven years ago today, you swore your oath to serve Equestria alongside Trixie and Twilight.”

She held up her right foreleg and glanced at a charm hanging from a thin gold chain. “You are always remembered, my beautiful Spotlight.” Glancing at the wall, I recognized some of the images: Spotlight, Penumbra, Rarity, Allura. I couldn’t focus on the remaining photographs in this section.

Before I could study them further, Trixie kissed me. When she pulled back, she smiled and pointed to the charm. “Our son gave this token to Trixie on her one-hundredth birthday!”

I looked over the many festooned chains that decorated my wife’s form then studied the ones that I wore. It clicked. “This way, they are always with us. Trixie, you’re a genius. This is such a beautiful tradition. We’re definitely keeping it after we wake up.”

My wife cocked her head. “After we—” She blinked and focused on me. The aloofness behind her eyes disappeared. “Oh. It’s that time of month, isn’t it?”

She gasped, looking me up and down. “Wow!” I struck a sexy pose, complete with knowing smirk, only to be bodily shoved out of the way. Trixie stood before the mirror with her wings outstretched. “WOW! Trixie outdid all her previous performances with this dream!”

I got back on my hooves and walked behind my wife. “Do you feel the power singing through your body?” I punctuated the sentence by nipping her neck, drawing out another gasp. “Tell me, do you think we could get you pregnant in a shared dream? If nothing else, I’m quite sure we can break all sorts of endurance records.” I peppered the back of her ear with small kisses.

The blue mare said, “You are most perspicacious, Earmark Clamshells.” My next kiss landed on nothing but in-rushing air. “But first…” I turned to follow her voice. “… you need to catch me.”

Uncounted minutes of high-speed maneuvers and teleports later, we flew over Ponyville. Both of us reveled in the strength and grace of our new bodies. Every wingbeat of our aerial dance proclaimed the love we held for each other. Combine that with the sheer joy of flight that filled both of us and we might never want to touch ground again.

Trixie and I spiraled upward in the thermals over the Castle of Friendship. I smiled up at my soulmate. Of all the years I had spent in Equestria, this moment above all others felt perfect.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

It's the penultimate chapter and a lot of stuff happened during the years it covered, so it deserved a lot of illustrations. Some have been waiting to be used for weeks or even months. Some were only possible due to the generosity of a few donors.

Art credits:
"Smushpony", "Changeling Princess", "Orchard Breeze", "Spotlight", "Glenn" – Foxenawolf
"Chrysalis on her couch" – dukevonkessel
"Night Shift Trixie" – NCMares
"Flight of Fancy" – Maggephah

If you'd like to see a sped-up video of how Maggephah's image was crafted, follow this link:
https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1SC4y1a7vC

Chapter 100 - Mark's World

I inadvertently started a tradition.

It began simply enough from the desire to spend a Saturday morning with my entire family before several inevitably left to pursue their other plans for the weekend. The weather was scheduled to be sunny and clear with only a slight breeze – perfect flying weather. It took a little convincing to get a couple of the kids to come along, but after a bit of persuasion from their mothers, they joined in. Chrysalis thought it was pointless. However, when the senior wife told her that she had to be there, Sally conceded with good grace.

It turned out to be even more fun than I thought. We surprised the Royal Guard by not announcing our intentions beforehand and all simply taking off together from a balcony. However, with Gallus and Penumbra among our number, we did not lack for some official security. Pearl was very adept at her levitation by now and flew under her own power. Allura was our only child who was flightless but we adults took turns carrying her. We had been doing this since she was a foal and she had no fear of falling whatsoever. We did a circuit of the city, startling the citizens with the unexpected royal procession. Then we headed west down the valley that led away from Mount Canterhorn, eventually swinging around White Tail Woods to head towards Ponyville. Along the way, we danced with the wind and played with the foals. When we reached the township, we stopped at Sugar Cube Corner for a drink and snacks before taking the portal back to Canterlot. The consensus was that it had been so much fun, we would do it again in a few weeks.

What started as just a small family outing began to grow. Initially, we had Trixie, Penny, Sally, Gemini, Pearl, Allura, Lacewing, Gallus, Diadem, Verdant, and Spotlight. After hearing about the event from Gallus, Smolder asked to join. Regis was next. He was my wife’s grandson, so he certainly belonged. Twilight chose to accompany him. I smirked and told my daughter-in-law to behave herself. She razzed me. Kids! Thorax merely grinned at both of us. Nyx invited herself and then brought along Scootaloo next time. Cutie Mark Crusaders forever! I invited my best pony friend, Steady Flight, to participate and he gladly accepted. Rarity joined in this time with the same glorious butterfly wings that flew her to the Anticyclone.

The following month, Cadance turned up with Shiny Button, Flurry Heart, and Skyla. They wanted in on the fun and they were in-laws too, after all. Then one of our now monthly events coincided with a visit from Phil, Rosa, and Yolanda. Phil had been intending to sit it out but Rosa simply picked him up and put him on her back. He protested a bit but she ignored him. The big griffoness had no trouble carrying her husband for the entire trip although she did refrain from the more acrobatic stunts, much to Phil’s relief.

Not everyone could attend every month due to various commitments, but they were still large events and the Captain of the Royal Guard wouldn’t let us continue to do them without some forewarning after the first time. This meant little more than some beefed-up security at first. When our monthly outings began to be noticed, she had to start planning crowd control. Then, after a reporter from a syndicated newspaper wrote an article on our family forays, the congregation’s numbers exploded. To take advantage of the extra customers, stalls sprang up every first Saturday of the month in the castle forecourt. The Royal Guard Brass Band entertained the throng and also served to build excitement for the moment. They even composed our own special processional theme which gave us our cue to depart. The Canterlot Weather Service scheduled perfect conditions for those days many months in advance. Thanks to Rainbow Dash not taking no for an answer, the Wonderbolts started putting on a short display before our departure. I quickly came to an understanding of how the royal pomp and ceremony back on Earth had grown. It had very little to do with us; it was the citizens, castle staff, and friends that wanted it to be bigger and better every time. And if it made the citizens happy, why not roll with it?

And that’s how the Royal Equestrian Aerial Pageant began. I insisted on constraining the number of guardsponies to keep this a more family-oriented occasion. The Captain of the Guard was equally adamant that it was her job to ensure our security. Chrysalis offered a compromise. Several of her drones who had trained as soldiers would provide protection. As they were also my children, they were part of the family, so that satisfied both of us. About half of them took on pegasus or griffon guises though to avoid the appearance of being swarmed by changelings.

#

Today was a special day. The entire family was present for this Saturday’s pageant. It would be the last time we could all be together for a long while. Gallus was not Captain of the Guard yet, but he was well on the way to achieving that goal. However, to qualify for the next promotion, he needed to attend some training and special courses that would occupy his time for a few months. After that, he would be stationed all around Equus, both in Equestria and abroad to get more experience. Allura and Lacy were headed off to university in Fillydelphia. Gemini and Button signed up to do some exploring of far lands with Celestia. But, for now, we were all gathered for the grand foray.

Lacewing and Allura got ready by doing something that had revolutionized the Royal Guard and was slowly being introduced into the military. It had started with Pearl passing on her love of comics to her sister. However, instead of a character like Supergirl, Allura and Lacy fixated on Iron Man. They were fascinated by the movies with him too (thanks, Phil!). This resulted in an epiphany on Lacy’s part. She climbed onto Allura’s back and activated her magic. Her changeling form flowed around the unicorn’s body, creating a red and gold chitin shell around her barrel, legs, and hooves, and sprouting wings with translucent feathers tinted to match the pony’s coat. Although they could form a helmet as well, they normally left that part off. Two glowing gems below the front of the neck armoring were Lacy’s eyes. The partners were now a harmonious unit that allowed Allura to fly like a pegasus while she supplied love to sustain the changeling. They had effectively created an armored mentally-linked pegacorn identity which they called Iron Mare, of course. The technique had been adapted for use by those Royal Guards who had acquired a Companion changeling, but only after that changeling completed guard training. The living armor also provided a heightened awareness to the wearers as well as protection, and it was self-repairing. Changelings were energized by their intimate bond with their companions and were empowered by it so much that their chitin became stronger than the armor that they replaced.

As for Pearl, she never grew out of her love of comics and her Supermare alter ego had become a part of our pageant. Rarity had created new versions of her costume as the filly had grown and the latest certainly flattered my second daughter’s grown-up body. Like most mares in the anthro pony universe, Pearl had big breasts and her costume was hard pushed to contain them. However, the young mare was delighted with her comic book appearance and invariably wore her outfit on all these occasions. I designated her to be our herald. Much to my relief, Pearl was well-loved by her classmates and the castle staff. Thanks to the Triarchy’s immigration and recruiting efforts, encountering an anthro pony was now a commonplace occurrence.

My wives gathered around me, Penumbra taking her usual protective station in the lead. I had grown to match my batpony wife’s height by now, but she delighted in telling me my stallion form would never match her wingspan. She could still wipe the floor with me in a fair fight, and by that, I mean not throwing lightning or spires of rock at her. At the appointed time, we could hear the band outside reach its crescendo. I nodded to Gallus who gave the order for our escort to take flight to form the guard of honor outside the castle. On the final note, Pearl took off, her glowing horn the only evidence that magic was in use. She had learned to conceal the luminous side-effect around her body. She launched herself up into the sky, striking a pose for the audience. Damn! I never got tired of seeing my daughter like that. She had very effectively turned her extraordinary natural form into something amazing in the eyes of the general populace.

Then Pearl used a voice amplifying spell to address the crowd. “Citizens and visitors from lands far and wide, the Royal Family of Equestria greets you all on this fine day and wishes you and your loved ones the best. We are honored to present to you this month’s Royal Equestrian Aerial Pageant!”

There was a roar from the crowd which was our cue to emerge from the castle. My wives and I were the first to take flight, closely followed by our children and family. Our routine had changed a lot from the first time. It involved legs over the main streets of the city, looping around to give a better view to more of the onlookers who didn’t have a prime position to watch. Some of us performed aerial maneuvers to make it more interesting. It was all part of the fun of the event. Altogether, we did five circuits of the city, the last of which ended with us heading south over the cliffs and into the open skies.

As everyone left Canterlot airspace, we settled down to the real reason for our monthly flights – bonding with our family. We played, and we talked. We practiced our flying skills. Heaven knows I was far better than I used to be. Nowhere near as good as my Marklestia form yet, but my alter ego didn’t participate in these flights anyway.

I watched as Gemini cavorted with Button who had taken female form and wondered which of them would choose to have a foal one day. Not that I was in a hurry to have grandkids. I was just happy that my first child had found someone to love who loved them back. Maybe my adopted son would beat them; Smolder had been making hints lately that even I had managed to pick up on. I wondered what the cross between a dragon and a griffon would be like. No matter – my family was happy, harmonious, and loved. No clearer indication could be seen than with Sally whose whole body fairly glistened with the love and joy she was imbibing on our flight. Just this morning, I teased Chrysalis about the inevitability of rolling out of bed one morning looking like rainbow sherbet. My changeling queen laughed, patted me on the head, and told me not to get my hopes up. Right now, she caught my eye and winked, licking her lips. I grinned back before I inverted my flight to glide underneath Rarity as she fluttered along with my other wives. She smiled and lowered her head to steal a swift kiss.

I chuckled and slipped to the side and brought myself beside Penny to pass on the kiss. She smirked and slapped me on the butt with a wing. I laughed and flapped a little harder to catch up and get ahead of my first wife. Turning, I held my forehooves apart and she flew into my embrace. Then we showed our co-mates how to do a proper kiss even as we drifted downwards due to not paying attention to flying.

We parted a bit out of breath, gazing at each other affectionately. Then we flew hoof in hoof for a while, watching our family enjoying themselves. I took a few moments to play with Yolanda while her parents looked on proudly. She was truly a child of two worlds now, as much a part of our family as Phil’s. I recalled how my best friend’s parents had treated me as a brother to their son and I was delighted to carry on that tradition.

I loved these times. No pretensions. No courtly manners. No machinations of nobles vying for power and influence. Just enjoying the freedom of the air in the relaxed presence of those I loved.

I spotted a small fluffy cloud and alighted upon it. Folding my wings, I looked about me at the world that I had come to call home. It was heart-wrenchingly beautiful, and the knowledge that I ruled over it and protected it was both humbling and uplifting. I had come a long way from that pegasus stallion who first stumbled into this dimension. I could hardly wait to see what the years ahead would bring me.

I murmured, “Thank you, Harmony. Thanks for bringing this silly former human into this world and showing him how he could be so much more.”

Trixie landed next to me and said, “Getting introspective again, Dowser?”

I chuckled and nodded. “Yeah.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless. Trixie will have to redouble her efforts to fix you.” Her smile belied her words. “Come on – we have a feast waiting for us in Ponyville.” She then playfully pushed me off the cloud with a burst of her magic.

I let myself tumble for a moment before looking back up to her with a grin. Then I extended my wings and called out for the world to hear, “I am Mark Wells, Prince of the Equestrian Empire, conqueror of its many foes, husband to four of the best mares in the world, father of my many beloved foals, and my story has only just begun!”

# # # # # # #

The End… for now.

Author's Note

End of Book Three

Twenty-seven months and over seven hundred thousand words later, the Off The Mark saga is done. We sincerely hope that you have enjoyed the story. It certainly grew far larger than what I had first envisaged. Originally, I just wanted to re-tell canon events that played out differently from the show. Mark was the foil for the canon characters and the means of introducing humor. Who knew that he had his own story to tell back then?

However, just because this concludes the coverage of the show arc doesn't necessarily mean the last of Mark's tales. As he said, his story has just begun.

Mark My Words

From Airy Words:

“Most revered audience, it is because of you that these creations exist. Thank you for the patronage of your attention. We can only hope that this day will live on in your memories, for it is there that true immortality lies.”

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking this journey with us. See you next adventure!

The paperback edition of Book Three is now available. Complete your trilogy! :twilightsmile:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LN5KSLN

ART CREDITS:
Royal Sisters – Frostykat13
Iron Mare & Supermare – Margony
Butterfly Wings – Xjenn9
Mark Wells, Alicorn in Flight – 1Jaz

Chapter 1 - A Stumble Too Far

“Nice going, Captain Klutz,” my best friend said as he chuckled at my misfortune.

I sighed as I hauled myself out of the mud puddle with a helping hand from Phil. “I just want to know why these things happen to me and not to you. You’ve hauled on that rope just as many times as I have, but it had to break for me.”

Phil shrugged. “What can I say, Mark? You’re the designated fall-guy of this duo.”

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Even when I did everything right, if something went wrong, it was always me who copped the consequences.

“Go wash up – I’ll finish breaking camp,” Phil said.

I nodded and headed for the lake shore. The overnight thunderstorm had been spectacular, but it had made a bit of a mess of our campsite, not to mention creating that mud puddle that I just got acquainted with. However, the weather was warm and I had no hesitation in stripping off my clothes and taking a quick dip to clean myself off. I rinsed off and wrung out my attire too and then took a few minutes to just enjoy a last swim in the lake. Phil would have to pay for laughing at me – best friend or not.

Of course, I found out that Phil had packed my belongings in the car already, so I had to put up with the sodden clothes until I dried out.

With the campsite fully cleared and everything loaded, we started our journey home. We were in no rush, so we took some less well-travelled roads which passed through some small towns. That’s where Phil spotted the shop. I sighed as I pulled over to park.

I hate antique stores. Some of the most boring hours of my life have been spent at one or another. If I had my preference, I would never set foot in one again. But I knew I would; I was about to do so right now. I grumbled, “Haven’t you given up yet on finding that matching plate, Phil?”

“Nope. Someone somewhere has got to have one, and when I find it, I’ll have a complete set of one of the rarest collections in the world. It’ll be worth a mint!”

I groaned. “You always say that – did you think I’d be enthused this time?”

Phil gave me a playful jab in the ribs with his elbow. “Aw! You know you love it, Mark.”

“No – I really don’t, and I can’t understand why you don’t believe me.”

“Then why do you always come with me?”

Why indeed? Phil and I had grown up together and had been lifelong best friends. We did almost everything together, shared the same interests, and went to each other’s family gatherings because we were that close. But Phil had developed a keen interest a couple of years ago in collecting rare antiques, much to my bewilderment. However, while I did not share my friend’s enthusiasm for this one exception to our perfect match, I always supported everything else Phil did, and this was not going to be an exception.

I rolled my eyes. “Let’s just get this over with, okay?” I said in my best long-suffering tone.

Phil grinned and said, “I’ll try to make it quick. Have a look around while I’m busy and see if you like anything.”

“Have I ever?”

“First time for everything!”

Phil led the way into the shop, a bell tinkling as the door opened. As I already knew it would be, the store was filled with the usual mixture of useless, ancient, or tasteless bric-a-brac that left my mind numb just looking at it. There was the occasional piece that I recognized might actually appeal to someone, with an optimistically high price attached. While Phil sought out the inevitably geriatric proprietor of the shop, I wended my way through the narrow aisles in the hope of finding something that would help me stave off catatonia while my pal was busy.

I was stifling yawns already before movement caught my eye. A moment later, I realized that the movement was merely a reflection of myself in a mirror. It was a free-standing full-length one, and I paused to look at myself in it. The unkempt hair and scruffy beard from days of not shaving while camping hardly detracted from the appearance of the young adult brown-skinned man who gazed back at me. However, even I had to admit that my clothes could stand a good laundering despite my earlier attempts to clean them. I was still checking myself out when Phil reunited with me.

“Found something that you like for once?” Phil asked.

I almost automatically said no, but then I paused. I had been in the market for a good full-length mirror, and although I’d had in mind something a bit more modern to mount on a wall, I certainly had the room for something like this. I gave it a good look over and saw that it was in very good condition with a sturdy wooden frame that had been ornately carved. The top corners even had extra details featuring creatures, one that I recognized as a unicorn, while I was unsure of the other.

“What’s that?” I asked Phil, pointing at the carving.

“Hmm? Looks like Pegasus to me.”

“And what’s a Pegasus?”

“It’s a winged horse from Greek mythology. I gotta admit that it’s a rather odd thing to find on a mirror though. Are you interested in it?” Phil asked hopefully.

I glanced at the price tag and frowned. “Costs too much,” I replied with a shake of my head.

“Tell you what – I’ll spring for half the cost if you buy it.”

I stared at my friend in surprise. “Why?”

Phil grinned broadly. “So that I can finally get you to stop saying that you never find anything useful in these stores.”

I groaned. “But complaining is the only fun I get out of these visits.” I gave a resigned sigh. “Okay – I give in. At half the price, it’s a good buy, and it’ll save me trying to find another later. Thanks, Phil.”

The shopkeeper was delighted to make a sale after the initial disappointment of not being able to provide Phil with what he sought. It took both of us to get it into my pickup truck and safely lashed down on top of the camping gear. Then we continued on our journey home.

Phil lived only a block away from me, and after dropping off his bags, we continued to my house and we were very soon backing into my garage. We unloaded the mirror and took it into my bedroom where we put it into an empty corner. Then we unloaded the camping gear and stowed it away properly until it was needed once more. With the work completed, we took a couple of cans of beer from the fridge and toasted a successful and enjoyable outing. We took our drinks out onto the deck and sat down to enjoy them in the warm, late afternoon air. The thunderstorm that had marred our trip was a distant memory, and the sky was cloudless once more. The sun was setting behind the house, keeping us pleasantly shaded as we drank in companionable silence, and a yellow full moon started to peek over the horizon.

“Blue Moon tonight,” Phil commented.

“Hmm? What?”

“Second full moon in a month,” Phil clarified.

“Oh? That’s right. That’s pretty rare, isn’t it?”

“Yep. Spectacular one tonight.”

I nodded, admiring how it appeared to be so large when it was sitting on the horizon.

With the moon fully risen and our beers drunk, Phil bade me goodnight and headed home, walking the short distance down the block. Meanwhile, I headed to the shower to clean off the grime accumulated while communing with nature. I dumped my dirty clothes in the laundry basket and then enjoyed a lengthy hot shower. Finally satisfied that I was as clean and relaxed as I would ever get, I stepped out of the shower and toweled myself dry before walking into my bedroom, still nude. I immediately noticed my reflection in my new mirror and chuckled.

“First thing you do with the mirror is admire your bod,” I scolded myself. Nevertheless, I knew I was a fairly well-built and handsome male – not gorgeously so, but I had yet to be concerned about how I might look to a potential girlfriend. Not that I’d had much time for one yet; I was too busy enjoying being a single unattached male. Plenty of time yet before thinking of settling down with someone who hopefully enjoyed much of what Phil and I liked to do. No drastic life-changing decisions for me!

The mirror seemed to shimmer for a moment and my curiosity was aroused. The light of the moon that was coming through the bedroom window seemed to add a slight glow to my appearance in the mirror, and I wondered how it did that. I reached out to push it a little to swivel it on its pins to adjust the angle, but my hand failed to touch the glass. Startled as my hand seemed to pass through its surface, I dropped the towel that had been in my other hand, stumbled as my feet got tangled as I lurched off balance, and I pitched forward towards the mirror. This time, more than just my hand failed to find the cool glass. Without anything to stop me, I toppled through the frame of the mirror into pitch blackness.

My fall was barely broken by my arms, but my nose still smashed hard against the cold floor. The blinding pain distracted me for a long moment from the fact that it was stone or tile rather than the wood of my bedroom floor. Not that I could confirm that fact because there was not an iota of light to illuminate the room. I reached up with my right hand to touch my abused nose to try to feel if it was broken, only to bash it with something hard that sent another pulse of agony through it. When the pain waned enough for me to think straight, I wondered what the hell had just happened. I lifted my hand again but noticed this time how odd that seemed. Then I realized that I could not feel my fingers. I tried to flex them and nothing happened. I shifted my position on the floor to reach out with my left hand to check out the other, only to sense the same lack of sensation. As soon as left connected with right, there was a clack that made no sense whatsoever, and a total lack of the expected feeling.

I began to panic, wondering if I had injured far more than my nose in the fall, and I struggled to climb to my feet. Nothing felt right though, and my balance was shot. I fell over, crashing into something which toppled along with me. There was the sound of splintering wood and shattering glass, and I lay still for a moment because I was worried that I might cut myself on whatever I had just broken. Then I carefully tried to get onto all fours, worried that I still felt weird and could not feel my feet properly either. At least I could still move, but my balance seemed all wrong. A second attempt to stand upright had the same disastrous result, but this time I felt a bizarre twitching on my back as I struggled to stay steady on two legs, and part of me collided with another unseen object with the same smashing consequences. This time however, it sounded like it hit something along the way and brought whatever it was down with it.

It was too much for me. I was blind, injured, insensate in my hands, and incapable of even standing up, and I screamed my frustration. “What the fuck is going on?!” Hell – even my voice sounded odd.

After a few moments, there was the sound of a key turning in a lock followed by a blinding shaft of light coming through an opening door. Through squinting eyes, I saw some animal silhouetted against the light as it entered the doorway.

“Who goes there?!”

The voice seemed to be coming from the animal, but I presumed it was someone behind it. As the door opened wider to illuminate the room better and my eyes adjusted, I saw that it was a small equine creature dressed in armor. I wondered about that but responded to whoever had made the demand.

“I need help. Something has happened to me, and I don’t know what’s going on.”

The equine stepped closer and a horn on its head that I had not noticed earlier started glowing. A short spear that had been attached to the armor floated free enveloped in the same glow as the horn, and it shifted to point directly at me.

“Who are you and what are you doing in this high-security room? How did you get past the guards?”

It talked! There was no hidden speaker unless he was a great ventriloquist. I stared in numb shock.

“In the name of the Magnificent and Powerful Empress Trixie, I order you to answer me!” the creature said irritably, moving the point of his spear closer to my face.

I held up my hands in surrender as I protested, “Peace! I don’t know… what…” My voice trailed off as I stared at what should have been hands, but I saw two hooves instead. My arms were covered in fur too – light green fur! I suddenly became aware that I could also see my battered nose prominently protruding into my field of vision. With a creeping sense of dread, I turned my head to look at the rest of me and saw a body that was similar to the creature threatening me except with the addition of a pair of wings. I looked back at what had to be a guard and recognized him as a unicorn, just as I now appeared to be a Pegasus like in the mirror carvings. My last thought as my brain checked out was – ‘Green is a stupid color for a horse.’

I awoke in a hospital bed. Anyone who has ever been in one as often as I had will recognize it for what it was irrespective of what country you visit. My hope that my memory of having hooves and green fur was a hallucination was quickly dashed as I struggled to sit up. Pushing the bed sheet off me, I got a really good look at myself. Aside from some bandages that had been applied to various parts of my body, I was still naked. Still male, all too obviously. Odd proportions for the rest of my new form too, and that shade of green simply did not exist on equines. Too small for a horse – maybe a pony would be more accurate. And those wings! Without even knowing how I did so, I spread one, noting several disheveled feathers. It was too surreal, so why was I so calm about it? Oh wait – I wasn’t.

“AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

My scream brought a quick response. Two ponies rushed into the room – a doctor and a nurse, apparently. How did I know that? Because the stallion was wearing a doctor’s white coat with a stethoscope about his neck, and the mare was wearing a nurse’s uniform. I stared at them, wondering what a pony was doing wearing clothes at all, let alone something so familiar that I could tell right away what they were.

The doctor looked at me with concern. “Please calm down, sir. Are you in pain?”

Of course they talked too. I gave up – I had to be in a coma and hallucinating this. Might as well play along. “Where am I?”

“Canterlot Hospital. The Royal Guard brought you in last night. You were badly lacerated in places and had several contusions, but you’re basically in good health. May I ask your name?”

“Mark Wells, and where’s Canterlot?”

The nurse looked shocked. “You don’t remember the capital of Equestria?” she blurted out.

“Perhaps some memory loss due to a blow to the head,” opined the doctor. “Let me examine you now that you’re awake. Nurse – the Royal Guard wished to be informed when this pony regained consciousness. Please do so.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

The mare exited and the doctor’s horn started to glow. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he was another unicorn, although the mare had lacked both horn and wings. I wondered how she got dressed, but that thought was soon pushed away as I gazed at an optical device that was levitated in front of my face, surrounded by the same color glow as the horn. The doctor used it to peer in my eyes, humming thoughtfully as he did so. Then he asked me to open my mouth and he peered within, followed by an examination of my ears. The stethoscope was also put to use as the doctor gave me a thorough check-up, including the new feathery appendages. If it wasn’t so impossible, it would have been terribly normal.

The doctor drew back and said, “Aside from your superficial wounds, I can’t find anything wrong with you.”

“That’s good to hear,” came a new voice.

I looked over to the doorway to see a pony in armor like the one that I first saw. He entered the room and gazed sternly at the doctor.

“I require that you release this pony into my custody immediately.”

“I’d prefer that he stay overnight.”

“Her Highness wishes to talk to this stallion immediately, and you have just said that he is in adequate health.”

“Very well, I will allow it. See the nurse on your way to sign him out.”

The soldier gestured to me. “Get up and follow me.”

“Haven’t you forgotten something?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“How about some clothes?”

He stared at me as if I was crazy. “You are going to be questioned, not attend a royal tea party. You don’t need to get dressed. Now follow me.”

I wondered why I was so suddenly concerned about clothing on ponies, but with every other one that I had seen so far at least wearing a coat or shirt, I was feeling a bit naked. Nevertheless, I tried to follow. I practically fell out of bed as I attempted to get to my feet. Oh yeah – four legs. No wonder I kept falling over when I tried to stand up. I attempted to shuffle forward and planted my poor nose in the floor once more as my body got confused as to which of my four legs to move first. I ignored the soldier’s expression and pretended that I was just slightly dizzy. Firmly focusing my efforts, I managed to start walking fairly steadily, highly aware of my hooves clacking on the hardwood floor. I was led down the corridor and stopped at the nurse’s station where the soldier signed me out before we continued outside.

A carriage awaited, two ponies in armor apparently serving to pull it. Ponies pulling ponies? Sure! Why not? This hallucination didn’t have to make sense, after all. I was urged into the carriage which I managed without making a fool of myself again, and my guard sat down opposite me. Without a word, the two-horsepower vehicle lurched forward. I quickly forgot about it as we drew out into the street and I got a good look at the neighborhood. My jaw dropped as I saw dozens of ponies of all hues and types going about their business in what looked like some fantasy theme park city. Unicorns were common, but it was the Pegasus ponies that left me gaping. They were actually flying! I may not know much about aerodynamics, but even I knew that you can’t stick wings on a horse and expect it to fly! They are just too heavy and the wings too small to provide sufficient lift. But there they were, cavorting in the sky with total disdain for physics. I half-spread my own wings and shuddered at the thought of being in mid-air without any means of support besides those tiny appendages.

“Do not try to fly away,” the guard warned me.

I shook my head. “Believe me – I have neither the intention nor the ability to do so.”

He frowned slightly in confusion at that answer but seemed satisfied that I wasn’t about to flee.

I ignored him while I took in the scenery. For a hallucination, this was way too detailed. I didn’t even recognize some of the aspects of this odd city and I didn’t think that my imagination was this good. For the first time, I started to reconsider my self-diagnosis. Then I caught sight of the palace.

“Whoa! What’s that?” I asked my guard.

He gave me a funny look before replying, “Canterlot Palace – the same place we caught you intruding last night.”

“What? How the hell did I end up there?”

“That’s what you have to explain to her Highness,” the guard replied before clamming up.

I didn’t bother trying to get more out of him because I was too overwhelmed by what I was seeing. I gaped in awe at the beautiful structure with its gravity-defying towers. Then we pulled into a courtyard and the carriage came to a stop.

“Get out.”

Terse and to the point. I was disinclined to argue with the pony with the pointy pike and I quickly moved to obey. Let me say in my defense that going down steps is a lot harder than going up them. My nose was probably beginning to resemble a pug’s by now. The unsympathetic guard merely hauled me to my feet… I mean my hooves… and herded me inside. The inside of the palace was just as impressive as the outside, and I have to say that I loved the stained glass windows.

While I wondered what they depicted, I had a feeling that the guard wasn’t about to enlighten me. We came to a pair of enormous doors flanked by another two unicorns in the same armor as my guide, and they challenged him as we approach.

“Her Magnificence has ordered me to bring this intruder to her for questioning.”

“You are expected. Proceed,” said one of the guards who opened one of the doors for us.

We entered what appeared to be a throne room, although it was not as well-lit as the rest of the palace had been. Long, thick curtains draped at least half of the room, with just a single spotlight focused on the dais with the lavish throne upon it. We came to a halt at the foot of the steps that led up to the empty throne and the guard rapped his spear on the floor.

“I bring the prisoner as you ordered, O Magnificent and Marvelous Princess!”

A shower of sparks and plumes of smoke rose from the base of the throne and a female voice boomed from within.

“I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, Duchess of Canterlot, Princess of Equestria, Queen of the Sun and the Moon, and Empress of the Equian Empire. Who are you? WHO ARE YOU?!”

“Nice sound system you have in here,” I replied, “but I think you’re cribbing your lines from the Wizard of Oz.”

More smoke and fireworks exploded, and the image of the head of a blue mare with a white and light blue mane appeared from within. Looking closely, I could see the tell-tale lines of the image being projected onto the smoke from the rear.

“Answer me, or suffer my wrath!”

“Sorry – I just can’t take this too seriously. Mark Wells is my name, Your Blowhardiness.”

The disembodied head looked as if she was going to explode before she turned her gaze to the guard and said, “Leave us!”

“As you command, Your Mightiness.” The guard then hastily exited.

As soon as the door shut, the image did explode, but only in a dazzling flash of light. When my vision cleared, the unicorn mare herself stood on the dais, her barrel draped in a purple cape emblazoned with stars. She glared at me and sneered a little.

“Some ponies cannot appreciate Trixie’s true greatness. Nevertheless, you shall answer my questions, prisoner!”

That was going to be a real trick considering that I had no idea what was going on. “Sure – if you answer mine too.”

Trixie frowned but continued. “Why were you intruding in a security area of the palace, Well Marked, and are you responsible for the disappearance of the alicorns?”

Wait. What?!

# # # # # # # #

Author's Note

And so begins my foray into something a lot sillier than my usual stories. Believe me – this is utterly unrelated to my Cogs and House Path tales... for now.

Art by PixelKitties and used with permission.

Chapter 10 - Nothing Exceeds Like Excess

I took my time with breakfast the next morning. I planned to visit a number of ponies today before I had to head back to Canterlot, and there was no point in starting too soon while most of them would also be getting ready for the new day. Steady Flight asked for the day off and I was happy to give it to him. It seemed all the sweets yesterday aggravated a cavity and he knew a dentist in Canterlot that would see him on a Sunday.

After getting dressed, my first stop was at the shop of the local confectioner. Although I had noticed that my pony body seemed to crave sugar a lot more than I did as a human, my sweet tooth was not the reason for the visit. Bon Bon had specifically invited me to come to see her at her shop, and that suited me fine. As was typical of the buildings in Ponyville, her premises were themed on the product that sold within, although not to the degree of Sugarcube Corner. Upon entering, my nose was assaulted by the smells of the enormous variety of sweets within. Unlike Earth’s supermarkets, the majority of the candies didn’t have wrappers, although some were enclosed in twists of wax paper. Most were kept in jars with lids such as you would see in old-fashioned sweet shops, while chocolates were on display on trays. The mare whom I had come to see was just putting out one of those trays when I arrived, and she gave me a welcoming smile.

“Good morning, Mark. I trust that you slept well?”

“I had a wonderful night’s sleep, thank you. It might have been even better if I had managed to beat Rainbow Dash at bowling last night.” While I had lost, I had succeeded in wiping the smug grin off her face by almost making a heroic comeback in the final frame. She may have been Equestria’s foremost flyer, but she was far from the best bowler. Despite my lack of practice as a pony, my experience as a human had made up for it. I hadn’t bowled nearly as well as I could with fingers, but neither had I disgraced myself any further since that first ball.

“Excellent!” the earth pony said before turning toward the door at the rear of the shop. “Lyra! Come and say good morning to Mark!”

My eyebrows raised in startlement, although I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. Lyra had been introduced as Bon Bon’s ‘very good friend’, although it was plain as the extra-large nose on my face that they were a lot more than that. The mint-green unicorn was nice enough, but she had managed to give me the creeps a couple of times when I caught her staring at me when I inadvertently had tried to do something in a human fashion. Hey! I’d only been a pony for less than a week!

Lyra emerged from the back with a container of boiled lollies carried in the glow of her magic. She set them down on the counter to trot over to me with a big grin on her face. “Hi, Mark!”

“Hello, Lyra. I hadn’t realized that you worked here.”

“Nah, I just help Bons out in the morning before I go to my real job. Music cutie mark, remember?”

I suppose I should have recalled that after the unicorn had grilled me about my own. These ponies seemed to put an awful lot of store in their meaning. I didn’t want to disappoint them and say that I didn’t know, so I just let them speculate. I didn’t tell them my guess that it was Equestria’s private joke on me, indicating that I was a bit disaster-prone.

“Can you show Mark around while I finish setting up for the morning rush, Lyra?” Bon Bon asked.

“Sure thing! C’mon – you can see the shop front anytime. Come out back and see where the magic happens,” Lyra said as she headed to the rear door.

“I thought all of Equestria was where magic happened,” I replied drolly.

“Oh, very funny,” she replied and stuck her tongue out at me. “Anyway, you won’t find a finer confectioner in the entire world!”

As the mare waxed lyrical (see what I did there?) on the accomplishments of her marefriend, I counted myself lucky that Bon Bon wasn’t showing me all this. Undoubtedly, she would have gone too far into the boring intricacies of the vocation, while the unicorn just hit the highlights. It also kept her distracted from quizzing me until the earth pony joined us and the topic turned to more general Ponyville news. I managed to get their impressions of the reign of the current “Princess”, both boiling down to being happy with the status quo. Business was good for each of them, so no reason for discontent. Bon Bon even let me take a spin at candy-making. I proved adept at sugar pulling but had no artistic talent whatsoever decorating the confectioner’s namesake. She took it in good humor and I was allowed to take my feeble attempts home with me. I quipped that this was incentivizing me to fail and that drew a laugh from both mares. I left the shop with my saddlebag half full of a variety of sweets just as the first customers of the day arrived.

I stopped outside the shop and adjusted my saddlebags – OK, fine, I was deciding which would be the first goody sacrificed to the Maw of Mark – and couldn’t help but overhear Lyra talking to her marefriend.

“You did see that, didn’t you, Bonnie? How he didn’t mind shaking hooves sole-to-sole? And how he called hoofguards gloves? I’m 95% sure that he’s actually a human in disguise.”

I panicked briefly until I heard Bon Bon’s reply. “Just like you were 95% sure Gilda was actually a human two months ago.”

“OK, maybe I was wrong that time, but you have to admit, she was suspiciously dexterous with those claws of hers.”

“Maybe because she was born with them? Spare me the conspiracy theories, Lyra.”

“That’s not it at all! I’m just being logical here!”

“Ah yes, ma’am? Have you made your selections?”

I trotted away hurriedly, not wanting to give the green mare any more ammunition for her suspicions.

My next target was the building shaped somewhat like a fairground carousel and, as I soon found out from a small but fancy sign on the door, named appropriately. The Carousel Boutique was the home and workplace of one of Twilight’s closest friends who had insisted that I drop by. I had exactly zero interest in female fashions, but at least it was an excuse to talk to Rarity. I was about to knock on the door when it opened and a small unicorn filly looked up and stared at me.

“You’re Mark Wells, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“Come on in. Rarity’s expecting you,” she said with a giggle as she stepped aside to let me in.

“She is? I hadn’t made an appointment,” I said as I entered the boutique.

That only made the filly grin even more. “She’s been talking about you ever since the party yesterday.”

“They must be hard up for something new to gossip about in this small town, I suppose.”

She giggled again. “I suppose. Gotta go!”

She dashed out the door without even introducing herself. I shrugged and looked around for Rarity, but the showroom was empty except for some mannequins… or would that be ponyquins?

“Hello! Anyone here?” I called out.

Moments later, I heard a familiar voice saying, “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! Oh! Mark, darling – how nice to see you!”

The unicorn’s affectations were familiar to me by now, so I just gave her a smile and replied, “It’s good to see you too, Miss Rarity.”

“No need to be so formal, Mark. I’m pleased that you came around this morning. I have something for you.”

“You do? I thought that you just wanted to show me around your business as part of my assignment that I mentioned yesterday.”

“Oh, we’ll get to that, but you had inspired me, and I wanted you to be the first to try out the result.”

I looked about me at the various fancy dresses. “I really don’t think any of these suit me.”

Rarity laughed gaily. “Not those, dear. I do tailor work for the local stallions too. Just wait there a moment, please.”

She disappeared into the back room from which she had emerged but quickly returned, levitating some objects which she placed on a countertop. She then unfolded one of them to reveal a stunning crimson dinner jacket, tastefully decorated with silver threadwork. I whistled in appreciation… of the jacket, not the mare! Not that there was anything wrong about how she looked, either.

She gave me a smile and batted her lashes at me.

“I notice that you prefer to wear a shirt and vest all the time.”

That was true. Despite a breezy backside, I had already gotten used to just wearing those plus a business suit top while I was in court. I now felt ‘dressed’ and comfortable that way, even when most of the ponies around me still wore nothing.

“I like this combination. Steady Flight chose it for me.”

“Your friend has good taste, but you need something extra to go with them when you take a marefriend out to dinner. Try this on, please. I believe I got your measurements right yesterday.”

Well, that explained why I had caught the unicorn eyeing me so much at the party. Still, if she could accurately measure me by sight alone, she must be pretty good. I allowed Rarity to put the jacket on me, and it fitted perfectly. Yep – she’s good alright.

“And just to add that dashing touch, I have one more accessory.”

She lifted the other item on the countertop with her hooves and wrapped it around my neck, adjusting the jacket around it. She then pointed me at a floor-length mirror and I took a look at myself. The sable-colored ascot and jacket went together beautifully and I was very impressed.

“Wow! That looks really snazzy! I’m very impressed. I’ll take it. How much does it cost?”

The elegant unicorn tittered. “Oh no, darling! It’s a gift. Consider it payment for the inspiration that you gave me.”

“I can’t just take it as a freebie, Rarity. This is your livelihood, after all.”

“Well – if you feel that strongly about it, perhaps you might consider taking me out for dinner instead? You need to break it in properly, after all.”

“That seems reasonable and I’d love to, but I have to leave on the last train to Canterlot today.”

Rarity’s face fell. “Oh.”

“I’d still like to pay you for these.”

“No, dear, I won’t hear of it. Perhaps I can take a rain check for the next time you visit Ponyville?”

“If that makes you happy, then fine, but I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

She gave me a strange look. “Is there nothing you’ve seen so far that interests you enough to return?”

“I don’t know yet. You know my circumstances, and a lot of this is very new to me still.”

Rarity closed her eyes and sighed. Her smile returned quickly though. “Shall I show you around the shop while you’re here?”

“That would be nice,” I replied with a smile.

I left the boutique with a better understanding of why Rarity was considered to be the Element of Generosity. After watching her apply an anti-crease spell to the jacket, I carefully folded it and the ascot into my saddlebag. I also had learned far too much about the fashion industry, but at least I had eventually gotten the couturier’s opinion of how Ponyville was faring under the auspices of Trixie Lulamoon. Although Rarity’s views were colored by her friend Twilight’s interaction with the de facto ruler of Equestria, the practical business mare had to admit that overall the nation seemed to be doing well. The Great and Egotistical Princess was going to be pleased to hear that. After her near disaster with Flim and Flam, I think she deserved that much.

My next stop was a twofer – Sweet Apple Acres. Although Applejack’s attitude had thawed after learning my true circumstances and my need to prevaricate, she nevertheless still didn’t like the fact that our relationship had started off with some deception on my part. But because Twilight had wholeheartedly endorsed me (despite the kiss incident!), the farm mare had agreed to tolerate the situation, if not to actively support me. I could live with that. However, my main reason to visit her family’s orchard was not to review how the economy was affecting her but to meet another of her friends there.

Rainbow Dash, flush from her victories, had offered to coach me, boasting that she could do better than Steady Flight. Considering how my flying lessons had gone so far, I had accepted, much to Steady’s chagrin. A round on me placated him, and he eventually admitted that bringing in another expert was probably a good idea. I asked that the lessons be conducted somewhere outside of Ponyville where my clumsiness would not be observed, not to mention fewer buildings and other structures to crash into. Rainbow had suggested Sweet Apple Acres as a good rendezvous point, and as it fitted into my plans and was easy to find, I had agreed.

So, here I was standing on a hill overlooking the orchards of apple trees that gave their property its name, a gentle breeze ruffling my feathers, nervously listening to the prismatic mare’s instructions.

“You have to flap your wings real hard,” Rainbow said emphatically.

“But… Steady reckons that my body is built for power – won’t that be too much?” I queried.

“Look – which one of us is the expert flyer here? We’ll get you in the air first and then work off the rough edges, okay?”

“If you say so.”

“I do. Now, hold your wings like this and start flapping! Put your magic into it!”

I’m not sure if it was twenty-two or twenty-three apple trees that I tore through on my super-powered flight, but my first lesson was abruptly terminated by a red-painted wall. Naturally, I had found the largest structure on the property and crashed into it.

The barn came off a lot better than I did, and as I lay groaning on the ground at the base of the building, Applejack walked up and stared dispassionately down at me, shaking her head.

“Don’t that hurt a mite?” she asked.

“No pain, no gain,” I replied.

“Who’s payin’ for the damage to my apple trees?”

“Send the bill to Trixie.”

“Ah’ll be sure to do that.”

Rainbow landed next to Applejack and the pegasus glared at me. “What the buck was that?” she demanded.

“A painful reminder that Steady may have known what he was talking about,” I replied.

The colorful mare merely rolled her eyes. “Obviously you were doing it wrong. Now get up and we’ll start again.”

I groaned as I pulled myself onto my hooves. Pegasi might be light and resilient, but it nevertheless hurt to go from sixty to zero in nothing flat. I managed to walk off the pain on the way back to the hill to re-start my lessons. This time Rainbow aimed me in the opposite direction before beginning.

“Okay – obviously you have no problem getting into the air. Your acceleration and speed are fine, so let’s work on control. There are seven different techniques to initiate and sustain a turn, so I’ll go through them and the best situation to use each.” She twisted a wing in a manner I hadn’t seen before. “First is wing warp, which can be done clockwise or counterclockwise. Careful not to combine this with the other techniques until you’re really confident. For example…” She then rattled off a string of technical details involving angle of attack, feather spread, wingbeats per second, dwell, and several more that I failed to recognize. “You got all that?” she finished off.

I shook my head. “You kinda lost me there.”

“Oh, come on! This is basic stuff! Now spread your primaries as I showed you and take off!”

I gulped and followed her orders.

Let the record state that I did successfully execute a turn. I didn’t hit any trees this time. I kind of wish I had; they would have slowed me down and the impact with the wall on the opposite side of the barn would have been so much less painful.

Applejack came over once more, shaking her head in disbelief. “Have ya heard the sayin’ – can’t hit the broad side of a barn?”

“Yeah,” I replied dazedly.

“Try it some time.”

“Wise words, Apple Smack.”

She chuckled and left me to the tender mercies of Rainbow Dash who started berating me for not listening to her instructions properly.

I interrupted her. “This time, can we have the Flight For Dummies course instead of doctorate-level Avionics 605? I really don’t think I need to know about advanced wing-overs and stall theory for maximum maneuverability as yet.”

“But this is the easy stuff!” she objected.

“For you, maybe. I just want to stop meeting unmovable objects on a regular basis.”

“I’m going to get you flying properly or my name’s not Rainbow Dash! Now get up and let’s go over this again.”

This time I did not hit the barn wall. Instead, I flew through the open doors and wreaked havoc with the contents before coming to an inevitable halt in a pile of farm implements.

It came as no big surprise to me that the orange mare was there moments later. I got the first words in though. “Look – I missed the broad side of the barn!” I proclaimed proudly.

She snickered before she said, “It may have been pref’rable. You gonna pay for the damages?”

“Add it to the bill,” I said with a pained groan.

“Shur ’nuff,” she replied as she started to help extricate me from the pile of tools and barrels of feed.

“Are you trying to make me look like a fool?” demanded Rainbow who had arrived just behind Applejack.

“Now listen here, Dash,” Applejack said sternly, “Yer not teachin’ him right. Mark’s like a foal who dunno how ta fly yet. Ya gotta start with the basics.”

“But I did start with the basics! You can’t get to be a Wonderbolt recruit without knowing those! Even Pound Cake can fly better than him!”

“The Cake’s colt is an exception and ya know it. What Mark needs is someone who knows how ta take it slow ’n easy fer starters.”

“Sounds like you’re talking about Fluttershy.”

“Bingo! Now, why dontcha take Mark over to her cottage while Ah clean up this here mess. I dun think the farm can take much more of yer flyin’ lessons.”

Grumbling loudly, the pegasus mare helped to get me untangled from the wreckage and supported me as I tried to get back onto my hooves once more. “Come on, Crash Wells. Let’s see if Flutters has some idea how to deal with a klutz like you.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I replied as I stumbled down the path. I had intended to pay her a visit too, so all I had to do is survive Rainbow’s help until I got there.

Fluttershy’s cottage was adorable! It looked almost as if it had grown there rather than being built. It certainly had a roof of living vegetation. And the lack of any square angles gave it a more organic look. The front door had a top half and bottom half, reminding me of the doors of some stables back on Earth. I had never actually seen them in person before, but it definitely suited the rest of the edifice.

Rainbow hovered near the top half and rapped on it, calling, “Hey, Flutters! You home?”

After a short wait, the upper door partially opened. “Yes, Dash?” she asked quietly. Then she spotted me and she flung both halves of the door open fully. “Oh dear! What happened to you, Mark?”

“A little flying accident,” Rainbow replied. “Applejack doesn’t think Mark’s ready for my lessons yet, though he’d go from zero to awesome if he could just pick them up. Anyway, do you want to try teaching him?”

“Come in. I’ll get my first aid kit. Please make yourself comfortable on the couch. That is, if you don’t mind?”

I didn’t mind, but a certain white rabbit seemed disinclined to make room. “Your pet bunny won’t move,” I called out, only to look back and see him frown and narrow his brows. He did jump down from the couch, though. Before I could move, a sharp pain shot through my right foreleg. The rabbit was standing in front of me with his front paws on his hips, glaring at me evilly. The little bugger had kicked me! Hard! But he was off the couch and I sprawled on it before he decided to get back on.

Fluttershy returned then, carrying a white box by its handle in her mouth. I wondered how sanitary that was for something like a first aid kit, but this was pony-land, so what did I know?

“Angel Bunny is a little possessive sometimes,” the yellow pegasus said after she put down the first aid kit. “He can be a bit moody when he gets all comfortable on the couch. Oh, and Angel Bunny isn’t a pet. He’s my friend. All the animals here are my friends.”

“No kidding,” I replied, giving the devil-rabbit the evil eye.

Fluttershy washed off the blood and bandaged my scrapes while Rainbow Dash made her escape. Then she left to make us some tea while I rested up. I laid back on the couch and closed my eyes to rest a bit now that my injuries had been dealt with. As previously, they were already healing, a testimony to the truly magical recuperation powers of pegasi. I’d have been more grateful for that if it wasn’t for the fact that I would not have gotten those injuries in the first place if I had become a unicorn instead. Then again, I probably would have managed to stab myself with my horn in some improbable manner if I had.

“My, you have been creating some delicious chaos lately,” a cultured voice said from right above me.

I opened my eyes and freaked out. “What the hell are you?!” I squeaked as I tried to back away from the serpentine mismatch of animal parts that loomed over me, grinning in a not entirely pleasant manner.

“Now, now! No need for rudeness. I’m a friend of Fluttershy’s. I couldn’t help but notice the shenanigans that you’ve been getting up to since your arrival, and when you turned up here – well, can you blame me for wanting to get a closer look at the unintentional padawan of my favorite pastime?”

“What do you mean?” I asked suspiciously.

“Why, your propensity for causing chaos, of course? You even have a cutie mark for it. I’m almost envious!”

“Oh, Discord! I didn’t know you were here,” Fluttershy said from the doorway.

The name jogged my memory. Twilight’s presentation described him as a ‘semi-reformed pain in the flank’ who was defeated by the Royal Sisters ages ago and then a second time by the Elements of Harmony.

She smiled up at the creature currently sitting on her ceiling. “Would you like some tea too? I’m making some for Mark Wells already.”

“I would love a cup, Fluttershy, dear.” He gave the pegasus a genuine smile.

“I’ll bring everypony some scones too,” the mare said as she turned back to the kitchen.

“You know Fluttershy?” I asked incredulously.

“For a lot longer than you, human.”

I gaped. “How did you know what I am?”

“I forgive you for not knowing, but I am a god.”

“I don’t believe in gods,” I replied, although with a lack of conviction. “Wait! Do you know how to get me home again?”

The creature looked thoughtful. “Maybe, but why would I want that? Your presence in Equestria has made things much more fun. You’ve given me so many chuckles since you arrived. I had hoped for much more pandemonium when that stage magician got the message meant for Twilight Sparkle, but I’m pleased to say you are picking up the slack admirably.”

“How did you know about… no, don’t tell me – you’re a god, right?”

Discord grinned broadly. “Now you’re catching on. I like the bright ones – they’re always more fun.”

“Not sure if I like that. You wouldn’t have anything to do with me being here in Equestria, would you?”

“Moi? Arrange an accident with a magic portal? Don’t credit me for your natural klutziness.”

“I don’t hear you denying it.”

He merely laughed. Just then, Fluttershy came back wheeling a trolley with a teapot, three cups and saucers, and a tray of scones on it.

“I just made a fresh batch this morning. Help yourselves, boys. Do you need any help, Mark? I could feed you one if you like?”

“Umm, no. I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh. Alright. How do you like your tea?”

With my conversation put on hold while Fluttershy was there, I had to choke back my desire to strangle the strange being until he came up with some straight answers. Meanwhile, I watched and listened to his antics. He apparently really liked tea as evidenced by biting the cup and saucer in half, chewing thoughtfully, and then swallowing it with a sigh of satisfaction. That the rest of the tea stayed in its half of the remaining cup was quite fascinating, as was the fact that we were apparently drinking and eating while on the roof. How we got that way, I had failed to even notice. Fluttershy took it all in stride, and I decided that I wasn’t going to give Discord the satisfaction of seeing me react to his antics either.

Fluttershy concluded what she was talking about. “… so Applejack felt that I would be a better teacher for Mark.”

“Sadly, I must concur,” Discord replied. “I suppose I can’t complain too much. After all, that mare managed to get him to crash three times versus the one-a-day events so far.”

“I will master flight if it’s the last thing I do if only to spite you, Discord.”

“Now, boys, let’s not be nasty. Mark, I’m sure Discord didn’t mean anything by it, did you?” She looked pointedly at him.

Remarkably, he did seem to capitulate. “Not at all, Fluttershy. I’m merely an interested observer.”

I set down my cup and turned to the self-styled Lord of Chaos. As entertaining as the repartee was, my first responsibility was to my job. “So with the possibility of re-hashing already well-plowed ground…”

Discord’s eyes rolled disturbingly around in his sockets. The expression of speech was not supposed to mean tighter and tighter spirals. “Not even ten minutes… here it comes…”

“…as I was saying, do you know anything about where Celestia and Luna have gone and how we can get them back?”

Discord waved his half-a-teacup absently. The liquid inside sloshed but refused to spill. “Why do you think I am no longer collecting bird droppings?” At my confused look, he continued. “I was petrified when Sun-butt and Moon-butt left, and with my far reduced perceptions at the time, I have no clue where they went.”

He then took the time to unchew a scone and delicately set it on my plate. I decided to just leave it there, thank you very much. He pointedly looked at it and I shook my head.

“Actually, I am referring to time magic. After I promised that I would help, the Elements freed me. Unfortunately, my results were the same as Twilight’s. Any attempt to go back in time through pony magic or chaos magic results in a split in the time stream as soon as either of us gets close to the event.”

I frowned skeptically. “So you promised…?”

He smiled with a twinkle in his eye, which he then proceeded to pluck out and eat… first the twinkle, then his eye. “I understand your suspicions, but even the Lord of Chaos will not go against his word, especially to a dear friend.” He grinned at Fluttershy and brought his cup close to the mare. She smiled proudly and clicked it with hers.

“Besides, your Loud and Overbearing ruler already asked me the same thing. She was quite respectful and polite about it, which I didn’t expect. Something of a different pony in private, I suppose.”

I snorted. “I beg to differ. Trixie is just as likely to laugh in your face no matter who is around.”

His grin stretched most of the way across his face. “That’s just because you’re so amusing! Really, Marcus, you should take responsibility for the disasters you cause.” He winked. “I do.”

I flicked an ear at my childhood name. Had he just guessed it? More importantly, was he implying I was in Equestria because of him? How had he known I had tripped into the mirror portal? Or was that another guess? Somehow, I didn’t think any further attempts to get straight answers would be worthwhile, so I turned back to the reason why I was here in the first place – besides to be patched up, of course.

“So, Fluttershy – is Applejack right? Can you teach me how to fly properly?”

“Oh, umm… maybe? I mean, Rainbow Dash is such a great flyer, and if she can’t teach you, I’m not sure that I can.”

I sighed in exasperation. “Yeah, she’s a great flyer, but she’s a lousy instructor. I set a new record for crashes today. Anything has got to be better than that!”

“I suppose you’re right. I mean, if you really want, I could try to teach you.”

“I have confidence in you, Fluttershy.” Not much confidence, but anypony had to be better than Dash.

“Let’s glide down to the meadow behind the house so we don’t disturb any of my animal friends. Discord, would you be a dear and put everything back in my kitchen?”

Discord leaned forward with wide eyes. “Everything?!”

The mare smiled and gave him a mock glare, clearly much more amused than angry.

“Oh, alright, I know what you meant.” With that, Discord and the tea set disappeared – also my saddlebags, I noticed. I hoped I’d get them back, though they would probably have one of those jumping snake gags inside the next time I opened them.

Fluttershy broke me from my thoughts. “Can you glide down to the ground safely?”

She definitely earned her title as the Element of Kindness. “Well, I am sure I can survive it, but I tend to get going too fast.” At least I had some experience in doing that much.

“Please hold out your wings in your gliding position for me.” She spread out her wings to illustrate the position she wanted. I did my best to comply.

She looked my wings over and gave a nod. “Now, don’t worry about speed. I’ll have my front hooves on your back and I will make sure you stay at the same rate. And don’t use your flight magic at all. Just concentrate on keeping your wings in exactly that shape.”

She hovered off of the roof and positioned herself directly above me as I reached the edge of her roof. I felt her forehooves grip against my back at the base of my wings.

“Whenever you are ready, Mark. I’ve got you.”

Knowing that I was in the caring hooves of a mare that had doubtless helped many an injured bird re-learn how to fly made me feel immensely better. I pushed off and, like she said, worked on just keeping my wings locked in place. When I felt her hooves pull back on me slightly, I rotated them a touch to slow down. By the time we landed, her hooves no longer had to hold me from moving forward too quickly.

Fluttershy smiled as she hovered in front of me. “There! That wasn’t so scary, now was it?”

I couldn’t help but smile back.

I took the opportunity to look around. There were pens and a chicken coop but plenty of space in between for me to train. She led me to the middle of the lawn and Fluttershy held out her wings.

“Let me see how you place your wings for take-off.”

I spread my wings in what I hoped was the right way given what Steady had shown me.

“Hmmm… A bit too aggressive. Let me help you get it right… if you don’t mind? Touching your wings, that is?”

Was Fluttershy blushing? I never gained the impression from others that touching the wings was that intimate. I shrugged. “Go right ahead.”

The mare used her hooves to reposition my wings and feather-spread.

“There! Now I want you to start a hover. Gently beat your wings in that position, but don’t try to draw on your magic yet.”

I did as instructed, feeling like an overgrown fan, but at least I wasn’t hurtling off somewhere.

“Are you feeling any lift?”

“Not yet. It’s like when I had my first lesson with Steady Flight before I learned how to draw on my flight magic.”

“That’s fine. I just want you to get used to that wing-stroke for a stable hover.”

After another minute or so, I said, “I think I’ve got it. Now what?”

“Now we introduce some magic. Just a little! Believe me, I’m not a strong flier, but I can maintain a hover or slow drift for a long time on just a small amount of magic.”

“Okay, here goes.” I found my well of flight magic and drew upon it cautiously. I suddenly shot vertically into the air, leaving the ground behind at a dizzying rate.

“I said just a little…” Fluttershy’s voice faded into the distance.

For some reason, I couldn’t seem to shut off the flow of magic. I just kept going up and up. The air grew colder as I powered upward like an elevator to the stratosphere, and still I climbed higher. Then I started gasping for breath as the air grew thin. My vision began to go dark, and the last thing that I saw was the far distant landscape below much like I had last seen from the comfort of an Airbus A380. I could also see the blackness of space above me and the slight curvature of the planet from my altitude.

‘Where’s the call button on this crazy ride…?’ was my last thought before I blacked out.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Ah! So many collisions – so few pictures to remember them by! If you would like to help me pay for more art, consider buying me a ko-fi!

Most of this chapter was mine, with some good additions by Airy Words.

Art by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 29 - Change of Attitude

I admit that I found it rather amusing to watch Thorax at his party. Naturally, he had never experienced anything like it before and would never have done so if it wasn’t for Chrysalis rashly invading Canterlot. So, here he was getting overwhelmed by entertainment with his new friends, and between the emotional feast at the wedding and now this celebration, he was getting rather giddy from pleasure overload. I didn’t think it was possible to grin that widely!

I think he was a little drunk on the positive emotions he’d been consuming, and he got quite garrulous. That suited Twilight as he was quite willing to talk at length about any subject that he was familiar with. It didn’t hurt that it made him seem more friendly and sociable to the others too. However, it got to the point where I had to play wingmare and steer him out of the room before he exploded or something. The Crusaders nearly undid that effort by giving him a huge hug before letting him go. I told Twilight that I’d find him a suitable room and I’d be back soon.

Thorax couldn’t simply walk with me because he was so full of energy. He buzzed around the hallway like a hyperactive housefly, giggling with glee. I so wished I had my smartphone so I could make a video of him. I’d have to add that to the shopping list next time I visited the alternate Earth. And a laptop to store and play them, I suppose. Then there was the problem of charging them – no AC power. Maybe I would have to get a solar charger too. I could see some electronics store making out like bandits when I turned up with my wish list and a handful of gold bits.

We reached the level where my room was located. I knew that there were plenty of vacant rooms there, all pretty generic. I was surprised to see a door ajar adjacent to my room that I hadn’t noticed before. I decided to check it out and found it to be totally different from any I had seen before. It was small, dimly lit, and seemed to have nooks and crannies that none of the others featured. There were no right angles anywhere, instead, the room had a roughly dome-shaped ceiling and a sunken depression in the floor. No windows either. I wondered what the heck it was for.

“Ooh! Is this my room?” Thorax asked, abruptly by my side. He gasped. “It’s perfect!”

I blinked and stared at him. “What? Are you kidding?”

“No. It’s like a mini-hive and so cozy! I love it!”

“Ooo-kay. To each their own. Welcome to your new room.” I stood aside and he flew inside and started checking out every feature. I chuckled and said, “Let me know if you need anything”

“I have everything I need, thanks!”

I closed the door and shook my head in wonder. A perfect room for a changeling just happens to be right next to mine… yeah, sure. I raised my eyes to the ceiling and asked, “Did you make this room just for Thorax?”

Of course, there was no answer. Just because a castle is shaped like a tree doesn’t mean it’s alive, does it?

After the party came to a close, I sat down with the girls to have a bit of a chat. Uppermost on our minds was, of course, still Thorax. Plans had to be made to better integrate him into the Ponyville scene, but of far greater importance to Twilight was figuring out how to explain her guest to her brother and sister-in-law. That was going to take some fine diplomacy. She couldn’t just send a letter via dragonfire that said, “You’ll never guess who my latest friend is…”

I facehoofed.

Yeah, she did. No, I’m not kidding. Don’t look at me like that – she did it when I had been showing Thorax his room. Rainbow Dash organized a pool to see who could guess to the nearest minute just how fast Shining Armor would show up on our doorstep. I thought it was a little unfair because everypony else had more experience with the Equestrian transport system than me. Even Spike wanted in on the action! Twilight just pouted and refused to throw in her bits.

Even the most optimistic among us didn’t think that he would be able to get here before tomorrow, so we decided that we might as well go back to the wedding reception. We could hear Vinyl Scratch’s music from the castle, so the party was still in full swing. I went back to Thorax’s room to let him know our plans and find out if he wanted to join us. After my knock on his door went unanswered, I peeked inside. A translucent cocoon hung inside one of the nooks, and I saw what I presumed was the changeling’s silhouette inside. I shrugged. I guess he needed to sleep off the emotional feast. He’s hardly the only being to suffer from food torpor.

We were eating our breakfast and I was showing off my much-improved levitation control. I floated a second serving of waffles off a stack when we heard the whistle of the train pulling up at the Ponyville station. There was nothing too odd about that except that the morning service to Canterlot had already departed, and the next train going in the opposite direction wasn’t due for another half hour. Rainbow Dash zipped off and was back within seconds.

“It’s the Crystal Express,” she announced. “Better get ready to—”

“TWILIGHT!”

“I didn’t know Shining could teleport,” I commented.

“He can’t,” Twilight replied, “but I bet he hit the ground before the train even stopped.”

A moment later, the aforementioned stallion burst into the dining room. “Where is it?!” he demanded as he looked wildly around the room.

Rarity glared at him rather crossly. “Please mind your manners, Prince Armor. And don’t tell me that you left your charming wife behind.”

“He did,” came a slightly annoyed voice from behind him. “Shiny – calm down.”

“How can I calm down when my sister is threatened by one of those insidious fiends?!” he demanded.

Twilight’s magic lifted the unicorn up and placed him in a chair. “He’s not an insidious fiend. Like I told you – he’s a friend.” Then she went over to Cadance and exchanged their quaint little ritual while Shining seethed.

“Hi, Cadance,” I said. “Did your hubby get any sleep last night?”

The Alicorn of Love rolled her eyes. “I doubt it, Mark, and he kept me awake practically the whole night.”

“Sounds like the sort of problem lots of mares would love to have.”

Cadance chuckled and shook her head. “If only. Perhaps I should have tried that.”

That got me a snort and a glare from her husband.

“Coffee?” I asked, levitating the pot over to an empty place at the table near her.

She nodded. “Yes, please.” Cadance seated herself as I poured a cup for her. She drank it black before fixing her eyes on the purple alicorn. “Okay, Twilight, I acknowledge your role as Princess of Friendship, but isn’t including changelings taking it a bit far?”

The mare shook her head. “I’m convinced that his wish to be friends is sincere, and if one changeling can feel that way, then others can too. Thorax represents our best hope for initiating peaceful relations with his species.”

“NO! You can’t trust them, Twily!” Shining bellowed, smacking a hoof on the table.

“Trust has to start somewhere, BBBFF.”

“Have you forgotten what they did to us? What they did to the citizens of Canterlot?”

“I could hardly forget. Just as I still remember how you didn’t trust my word then either.”

Shining flinched. Seems there was more to the invasion than I had heard about.

The stallion was nothing but persistent though. His eyes narrowed and he stared intently at Twilight. “I trust my little sister implicitly, but am I even talking to her? Or have all of you been replaced by changelings and lured Cadance and me into a trap?” His horn lit up and a shield enveloped him and his wife.

Cadance sighed, shook her head, and focused on finishing her coffee.

Twilight responded, “Well, for starters, I knew Cadance and my little ritual—”

“Which Chrysalis could have learned by now,” Shining interjected.

“—and I remember what I found under your bed when I was nine years old and the lie that you told me about what they were…”

Shining dropped his shield and waved his forehooves frantically. “Okay! Okay! I believe you’re the real Twilight. I thought you promised to never bring that up again?”

Cadance gave him an intensely curious look.

Twilight smirked. “I promised not to tell about what you claimed they were, but since they weren’t, then my promise doesn’t apply, does it?”

“Alright, but you still haven’t convinced me that a changeling can be anything but a threat to all I hold dear. Think of all the atrocities that they committed during the invasion. So many died or worse – were left as emotional husks. ”

“Then, I suppose that it’s time for a history lesson.” Twilight’s tone of voice settled down into lecture mode. “In the year 145 B.E. …” She turned to look at me. “‘Before Equestria’”.

This I remembered from Twilight’s slideshow. I nodded and gave her an air kiss. She blinked then frowned at me, obviously annoyed with my reminder. If Cadance’s smirk was anything to go by, she did not share her sister-in-law’s opinion. I just smiled innocently.

Twilight gave me one more glare before returning to look at her brother. “…a small community of earth ponies was raided by pegasi warriors. These raids were common as the winged ponies always felt they deserved most of the food that the earth ponies produced because they controlled the weather that sustained the farmers’ crops. This time was different though. The pegasus warriors came in great numbers, taking the earth ponies by surprise and overwhelming them. Then they castrated every male including the young colts.”

I winced, and each of the girls reacted to various degrees, from Rarity fainting to Applejack grinding her teeth audibly.

Twilight continued. “The farmers plotted vengeance and organized with a nearby community that was a likely target to lay traps and snares. A few days later, the raiders returned, employing the same shock tactics. However, the forewarned earth ponies were ready for them and succeeded in capturing many of their foes. Most of those trying to fly away after watching their comrades getting caught were enmeshed in nets flung by small trebuchets. Then the farmers hacked off their wings and enslaved them.”

This time it was Fluttershy’s turn to faint and Rainbow Dash screeched in outrage.

Before the prismatic pegasus could say anything. Twilight steamrollered on. “The pegasi who escaped found more like-minded members of their tribe and they all retaliated, of course, and screwed up the weather for months. Crops failed and food was scarce. The unicorns weren’t getting their tribute and demanded that the pegasi stop, but they were attacked in response. That angered the unicorns so much that they declared war on the winged ponies. The first cloud-walking spells were developed not for visiting friends but to carry the battle to the sky. Many ponies on all sides died that year, and the fighting continued into the next before famine forced a halt to the eternal battling.”

“What has this got to do with the changelings, Twily?” Shining Armor demanded.

Twilight sighed and shook her head. “Oh, come on, Shiny! Isn’t it obvious? Ponies committed atrocities in the past too. And they did it not to completely different races but to their own subspecies. It wasn’t until the first Hearth’s Warming that ponies from three different tribes became friends and started down the road of peace. When Celestia and Luna rose to power, they ruthlessly enforced laws against prejudice and intolerance. It took them generations to weed out the hate that each pony tribe had for the others, but they did it, and we live harmoniously with each other today. Now it’s another species’ turn to start down the path of reconciliation. Are we going to claim vengeance, or should we find a way to make them our friends?”

Shining looked stunned. He wordlessly digested his sister’s lecture, and Cadance looked thoughtful too. She leaned over and gave him a hug. “Honey, I don’t think I’m ready to forgive Chrysalis quite yet, but I believe Twilight when she says that the common changelings can be our friends if we choose to work at it.”

The stallion slowly nodded. “You’re right, both of you. I… I’m sorry, Twily. I was just so worried about you, and the citizens of Ponyville too. But mostly you.”

“It’s okay. Mark had to stop me from lashing out too. Would you like to meet Thorax?”

“I suppose I’d better. If being the Prince of the Crystal Empire has taught me anything, sometimes you need to do things that you don’t like doing. Don’t expect too much too soon, okay?”

“Fair enough, BBBFF,” Twilight replied with a smile and a hug. “Mark – could you fetch Thorax for us, please?”

“No problem, Twi.” I figured he was still asleep in his room, so I headed straight up there.

I found the changeling washing his face with water that flowed like a spring into a natural basin shape in the wall. That was an interesting touch, especially as it stopped flowing by itself as soon as Thorax was done. I wondered what else this castle could adapt to doing. “Good morning,” I said cheerfully.

Thorax gave me a shy smile. “Good morning, Mark Wells. It’s an odd feeling waking up in a room that I can call my own.”

“I hope you get used to enjoying it. And just call me Mark. Anyway, we’re having breakfast but we have guests that need to see you.”

He looked a little worried. “Am I in trouble?”

I chuckled. “No, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t be in for a bit of a hard time. Shining Armor and Cadance have just arrived and they want to talk to you.”

“Eep! But they…”

“I know, but we’ve explained the situation to them. Just be calm and answer their questions. Twilight wants to make a start on working out ways to integrate changelings into pony society, but first, we have to learn more about you.” I chivvied him out of his room and we started on our way to the dining room.

“What should I expect?” he asked.

“I’m not sure. I’m no expert on this kind of thing. Just remember that I’m on your side and I’ll help if I can.”

“Thanks, Mark. This is all new to me too.”

“No problem, Thorax.” I debated whether to resume my normal stallion form to prevent Shining Armor from feeling pressured by so many mares, but in the end, I decided that he should be able to stand firm on his own. Besides, I didn’t want to spoil my weekend by having to switch back after being denied the pleasure for so long.

Conversation died as we entered the dining room. Our visitors’ eyes immediately locked onto Thorax and he squirmed uncomfortably. I didn’t let the silence stretch out. “Shining and Cadance, I would like you to meet Thorax, a.k.a. Kevin. Thorax, these are Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor. I hope that you can become good friends.”

Thorax scuffed a hoof while Shining stared at the changeling intensely. Cadance, however, got up from her chair and came over to Thorax. She gazed at him thoughtfully before she reached up to pull him into a brief hug.

Thorax was startled to feel a choice morsel of love being sent his way, and he reflexively consumed it. As she pulled away with a smile, he hesitantly returned it. “Thank you, Princess.”

“You may call me Cadance, Thorax.”

I said, “Would you like something to eat or drink first, Thorax?”

“Umm… I’d like a hot chocolate if that’s okay?”

“I’m on it!” Spike announced as he headed for the kitchen.

“That’s a curious choice,” Cadance commented.

Thorax shrugged. “I acquired a taste for it while hanging out with the Crusaders. The adults often made them for the fillies and for me too when I was with them.”

“Can we see your foal disguise?” Twilight asked.

“I suppose so.” With a flare of green fire, a blue-coated unicorn colt replaced the changeling.

Twilight blinked. “Blue Agate? I never suspected you to be anything but a normal foal, although come to think of it, I never learned who your parents were. Any reason why you chose a unicorn form?”

“I tried an earth pony form, but I couldn’t match Apple Bloom’s strength, and she said I sounded silly when I talked like her. I settled on a unicorn because I could still use my horn like one, but nopony would expect a colt to be able to do complex spells. I could have done a pegasus too, but I didn’t want Scootaloo to feel uncomfortable that I could fly and she couldn’t.”

Twilight smiled. “That was very considerate of you. Anyway, my brother would like you to cooperate in some tests if you don’t mind?”

I could see that Thorax was still sensing the stallion’s hostility by the way he glanced at Shining Armor. Nevertheless, he nodded.

“I want to help. You’ve already done so much for me. What do you want to do?”

As he walked over to Thorax’s side of the table, Shining said, “We need to root out any spies in our midst and we’ve developed some new changeling detection spells to find them, but we’ve lacked a subject to test them on.”

“I’m not an infiltrator, so I don’t know much about their protocols or any of their advanced techniques. I’m not even a love harvester. Every able-bodied drone took part in the attack on Canterlot, even lowly hive workers like me. But finding infiltrators might be a more difficult problem than you might think.”

“How good could they be?” Shining scoffed.

“Good enough to keep ponies unaware of our existence for hundreds of years,” Thorax pointed out.

The unicorn stallion blinked and then nodded. “Good point. We can start with just detecting if a pony is actually a changeling. Find out if they have replaced any ponies.”

“I do know that infiltrators don’t usually do that,” Thorax replied. “Too much chance of being caught out on any inconsistencies. They normally spend some time establishing an original identity.”

“That makes it even more important to have some means to detect them then if we can’t watch for errors in their acting the part. So, will you allow me to test the spells?” Shining asked impatiently.

Thorax nodded. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just try to hold your disguise and report what you feel. We’re trying to determine which spell is the most effective.”

“I can do that.” Spike returned with the hot chocolate just then and handed it to Thorax. “Um – can I have my drink first?”

Shining sighed but said, “Okay.”

Thorax drank about half the mug before smacking his lips just like any foal would. He then set the mug down on the dining table and moved back in front of Shining Armor. “That’s wonderful. Okay, I’m ready.”

“At last! Right – here’s the first spell.” Shining’s horn lit up and a burst of magic flew from it to Thorax.

The changeling shivered but did not resume his normal form. “That tickled!”

“Why didn’t you change?”

“Oh, I’m sure I would have if I hadn’t been braced for the spell. It would almost certainly work if a changeling was taken totally by surprise.”

“Not reliable then,” the unicorn decided. “Okay – spell number two.”

This time, a magic aura surrounded the changeling. He squirmed and gritted his teeth, but after about fifteen seconds, he was forced back to his natural form.

“Whew! That was a struggle,” Thorax declared. “You have strong magic, Prince Armor.”

Shining frowned. “It still took too long. Infiltrators would have time to hide before being forced to reveal themselves. Nevertheless, it works and can be useful. Ready for the final spell?”

“Let me finish my drink first, please.” Thorax did so and then resumed his colt disguise. “Okay, I’m ready.”

This was another burst-type spell. Thorax’s eyes closed and he slumped to the floor.

I jumped to my hooves and demanded, “What have you done to him?!”

Shining looked at me and said, “Calm down, Mark. It’s only a mild stun spell tuned to changeling physiology. We only had corpses to work with, so we weren’t sure how effective it would be.”

Thorax groaned just then and said, “Who turned out the lights?” He slowly straightened up before opening his eyes again. “Whoa! I don’t know what you did, but I wasn’t able to resist it for even a moment.”

Twilight asked, “Does the spell have any effect on ponies at all?”

Her brother shook his head. “We’ve tested it on all sub-species of pony with no detrimental results.”

“Haven’t you got anything that can just alert you that a pony is actually a changeling without knocking them out or forcing a change?” I asked.

“Why would we want to do only that?” Shining asked.

“Because from what we’ve learned, most changelings in our communities are merely love-harvesters, living peacefully among us. Why stir up unnecessary trouble?”

Shining frowned. “I think you’re being far too soft on them, Mark.”

“And I think your reactions are entirely too colored by your bad experience with Chrysalis. History is on my side.”

The stallion glared at me. “History shows in black and white that they invaded Canterlot, bewitched me, and imprisoned Cadance.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Thorax cringing. I stood up and returned Shining’s angry gaze. “Yeah, one crazy queen makes a power grab and that’s the sum total of your experience. The changeling species didn’t just pop up out of thin air to make your life miserable! They’ve been around for centuries, maybe even as long as there have been ponies, but there have only ever been unsubstantiated rumors of their existence until now. Why? Because they’ve coexisted with ponies peacefully all that time!”

“Or covered up every incident!” Shining yelled back.

“ENOUGH!”

Both of us were startled by Twilight’s authoritative shout. We looked at her to see an uncharacteristic frown on her face and her wings spread aggressively. When she saw that she had our undivided attention, she spoke up.

“Thank you for your defense of Thorax, Mark, but please sit down now. Shiny – you’re my big brother and I love you, but this is not your decision to make, so stop trying to undo everything I’m trying to do. I’ve already decided that we will be attempting to make peaceful relations between changelings and the citizens of Equestria and anything you have to say won’t change that. That may be difficult to achieve with Chrysalis, but what Thorax told me leads me to believe that other hives still exist. I’m going to try to gain their cooperation by appealing to their self-interest. Thorax is the key to all of this until we get more of his kind in talks with us, but we will have a hard time convincing them of our sincerity if all we do is either expose them or knock them out. If you really want to help, find a reliable way of discreetly identifying them to use in appropriate situations only. And stop harassing Thorax.”

Shining Armor gaped at Twilight, stunned by her forceful speech. Cadance poked him in the side and quietly said, “Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria has spoken, dear, and she is the higher authority here. I suggest that you park your plot and do as she commands.”

“Yes, Cady,” he replied in a subdued voice.

Just then, in the silence that followed, I heard several excited young voices approaching, and a moment later, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom barged into the room.

“Hi Twilight!” they chorused.

“Where’s Thorax?” Scootaloo added.

“There he is!” Bloom said, pointing to where he was standing.

“Come on! Time’s wasting!” Sweetie insisted.

“What? Just a moment!” Shining started to object.

“It’s okay, Shiny,” Twilight said. “The Crusaders are his friends.” She turned to Thorax with a smile. “Go have fun, but all of you please be back for lunch. We need to talk more and you promised me some testing time.”

Thorax nodded and started trotting towards his friends. “Thanks, Princess.”

“Just Twilight, please.”

“Are you going to just let him run off with those fillies?” Shining asked incredulously.

Before Twilight had a chance to answer, I spoke up. “Actually, that’s a good point. I think I’ll go with them.” The white unicorn gave me a surprised looked and the Crusaders looked less than pleased. I grinned reassuringly. “But I think Thorax should be in his natural form. It’s time we started turning him from the mythical ‘Kevin’ to a real person, and if I’m accompanying him, it will help reassure the citizens of Ponyville of his good intentions.” Yeah, I intended to make very good use of my reputation. Hey – I earned it!

Twilight smiled widely. “That’s a great idea, Mark, and I’m sure the Crusaders will help you with that.”

“Of course we will! He’s our friend!” Sweetie declared and her comrades backed her up.

Shining facehoofed and sighed. Cadance gave him a hug while winking at us. The mares had this under control.

“Come on, girls – we have work to do!” I told the fillies. They gave a cheer and high-hoofed Thorax who had reverted to his natural form, although still in foal-size to match the other Crusaders. That suited me – anything to make him look less threatening on his first day completely in the open.

It turned out that all those times that Thorax had accidentally let himself be seen as a changeling worked in our favor. Those who had glimpsed him or had heard of him were actually reassured that he was real and not a figment of overactive imaginations. As I predicted, my presence reassured most other ponies. The fact that virtually no Ponyville resident aside from the Element Bearers had experienced the invasion also helped. The most nervous ponies such as the Flower Sisters actually refrained from fainting, although I did miss out on my daily floral gift. A few of the bolder ponies stopped to talk with Thorax and a few even requested a transformation demonstration. The one that amused me the most was when Vinyl Scratch asked him to turn into a duplicate of herself and then posed for a photograph with her doppelganger whom she nicknamed ‘Wubsy’. None of us mentioned his Blue Agate alter ego because we felt he deserved the ability to be incognito on occasion, and it wasn’t as if nopony in authority knew of it. Of course, there were a few ponies who weren’t happy to have a changeling in town, but at least they didn’t cause any problems for us. By the time we returned to the castle for lunch, I was well satisfied that we had gotten changeling-pony relations off to a flying start. Give it a few more weeks, and the locals would probably take Thorax in stride, just as they had every other weird and wonderful thing that happened to this hotbed of outlandish events.

Because Thorax didn’t eat much in the way of physical food, he and Twilight left to do some test while the Crusaders and I had our midday meal. Cadance and Shining Armor joined us but they intended to head back to the Crystal Empire immediately afterwards. They had spent the time that we had been away talking with Twilight and the Element Bearers, discussing an approach for contacting other hives and what courses of action to take when other changelings came forth. I don’t know if Shining will ever be happy about their kind, but at least he had calmed down and was acting in a lot more reasonable manner.

Rainbow Dash surprised me by volunteering to take Thorax and the Crusaders out that afternoon, but she wanted to show her support for Twilight’s decisions, and the Element of Loyalty was not going to be found wanting.

Rarity said, “Besides, darling, this is supposed to be your weekend off too, and you and I are overdue for a little time together.”

Between the wedding, the bugbear, and Thorax, this weekend certainly had disrupted our usual routine. I gratefully accepted Rainbow’s offer and Rarity and I headed off into town. We had some shopping to do!

Later that afternoon after Rarity and I had parted, I sought out the Crusaders. I found them playing a game with Rainbow Dash, and by the sound of laughter, I judged that they were all enjoying themselves. I wanted to get in a bit of flying fun but it wasn’t time yet for the Crusaders to go home, so we compromised. Dash carried Scootaloo and I carried Sweetie and Bloom while Thorax flew solo, and we just enjoyed ourselves for a while. We paused on a cloud to rest for a few minutes and Scootaloo got off to walk about and stretch her legs. She seldom got the opportunity to cloud-walk, and it helped reassure her that she was not completely helpless as a pegasus. In spite of being able to fly, Thorax couldn’t cloud-walk because he was a common drone and not a love harvester – another reason why pegasi weren’t among his favored disguises – so Rainbow Dash allowed him to rest on her back. We all looked at the scenery for a while, admiring the beautiful village of Ponyville nestled in the valley against the low ranges.

“What do you think of your new home, Thorax?” I asked.

“I never knew it could be like this, Mark.”

“Like what exactly?”

“So many friends, so much fun, and so little hunger.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Hunger?”

“We’re always hungry in the hive. The queen portions out what the harvesters provide, but there’s never enough, but since I’ve been here with the Crusaders, I’ve eaten well. I didn’t know what it was like to be replete until the wedding.”

That was food for thought. Hunger could drive people to do things they wouldn’t normally do, and I wondered if that had anything to do with Chrysalis’ motivation for invading Canterlot. Not that I would ever agree with her methods or believe that she didn't have other motives too, but there were always other factors to take into account.

I think I would still be sitting there on the cloud contemplating such thoughts if Sweetie’s belly hadn’t rumbled.

“Seems like some fillies might be getting hungry now, Rainbow. I guess it’s time to head back.”

“Yeah, they’re not the only ones to work up an appetite,” the mare agreed.

“Woohoo! Last one back to the castle is a diamond dog!” Scootaloo cried as she leaped off the edge of the cloud, her wings buzzing furiously.

Rainbow Dash dived after the fearless filly as Thorax took to his own wings again. I followed at a slightly less urgent rate. While I knew I could catch the young pegasus with my magic, I had zero doubts that the prismatic mare would do so long before I would need to.

Steady Flight had our stuff packed and ready to go after dinner. I reverted to my normal form to say my farewells to everyone including Thorax. He watched raptly as I changed from pegacorn mare to pegasus stallion.

“Now I think I understand why ponies are fascinated by the way I transform after seeing you do it, Mark,” Thorax said with a grin.

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” I replied.

After hugs all around, I left for the station in the company of Steady and Crimson. I’m sure that we’d be talking a lot about my newest friend on the train ride to Canterlot, and perhaps the three of us will start conversations in that conservative city that will start modifying pony attitudes to changelings. Because even ponies can change.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

I wanted to get a picture of Mark with Thorax under her wing, but I simply don't have the time to sit in on one of Foxena's streams during the pre-Christmas chaos. So you will just have to imagine it. :pinkiesad2:

Chapter 48 - Honeymoon Hijinks

Best train trip ever! No, I’m not going to elaborate – you can use your own imagination.

When we got to the Crystal Empire, there was a large carriage waiting at the station to pick up Cadance, Shining Armor, and their newborn foal. Of course, they couldn’t just abandon their royal guests, so Trixie and I rode with them to the castle, as well as Spike. The young dragon had been sent as Twilight’s proxy to guide Starlight Glimmer on her designated task because the alicorn had to remain in Canterlot to take care of royal business. While both of the diarchs could be out of the country for special occasions like when the Equestria Games were held here, an unscheduled visit just to be with her niece was not a sufficient reason. She also had a new daughter to care for and Thorax’s pod to watch over.

Twilight Sparkle’s parents, Velvet and Night Light promised to come to the Crystal Empire to help the first-time parents with Flurry Heart, but while they had made arrangements to take time off from their jobs, their grandfoal’s premature arrival had thrown off their plans. Neither could drop what they were doing without notice, so they would be following the next day after tying up some loose ends at work. The final member of our party, aside from the guards, was Moon Dancer. While Princess Twilight could not be there, she could send her right-hoof mare to document the Crystalling ceremony. The mare initially hadn’t wanted to go, but she had been quickly persuaded when told about the Empire’s vast library of books – many of which were older than any in Twilight’s library.

Cadance and Shining needed the carriage. While Trixie and I had lost a little sleep to various activities, the new parents had had their hooves full with Flurry Heart. Feeding the foal might have been solely Cadance’s responsibility but both were woken by the infant’s cries. Shining tried a little too hard to relieve his wife of further burdens and ended up massively sleep deprived. Rather than relying on the competent help that Twilight had offered in Canterlot, the stallion tried to be a “good father” and do it all himself. Little wonder he looked like a sleepwalker when we had gotten off the train.

The Crystal Castle staff soon had their rulers in hoof, the majordomo brooking no guff from her obviously exhausted prince and princess. Proper Place also made sure that Trixie and I were settled into our suite. We had enjoyed a large breakfast on the train and we weren’t interested in having a meal as yet, so we elected to begin our honeymoon activities. First on our list was the Empire’s famous mineral hot springs. Located a short distance outside of the city, a spa had been built around them which catered to the booming tourist trade. Private facilities were also available and had been booked for us. With only our personal bodyguards in tow, Trixie and I were transported to the Crystal Springs Spa and left all our cares and responsibilities behind. The only distraction was the water park expansion that had just opened next to the spa. From the happy yells filtering over the privacy wall, it sounded like every foal and teenager in the Crystal Kingdom had turned out. I asked the attendants if that was the case and they sheepishly apologized for the noise. It turned out the Crystalling was an adults-only celebration and many families had taken advantage of the grand opening to hand over their kids for the day.

I didn’t think any place could beat Ponyville Spa’s services but I was soon disabused of that notion. For starters, that town lacked the hot springs. The geothermal waters proved not to be overhyped either. My wife and I started with a long relaxing mud bath. Yeah, I was skeptical too. What’s so great about getting mud in every crevice, let alone in one’s coat? But Trixie insisted and I complied. I had expected the thirty-minute treatment to be claustrophobic. Instead, having cement-like mud covering everything but my face was incredibly relaxing. The warmth soaked into me and I fell into a meditative state without even trying. When I emerged, I felt relaxed, rejuvenated and soothed. It was awesome. Try it sometime!

The staff directed us to showers to divest ourselves of the mud before we moved on to a soak in a small, private hot springs pool. Unlike the individual mud baths, Trixie and I were able to kiss and cuddle. That was followed by deep-tissue massages with exotic oils, with my wife turning down a wing preening with the explanation that she was saving that job for me to attend to later tonight. Even after the relaxing treatments so far, the masseur discovered knots that he skillfully kneaded out. I felt like a new stallion after that. Next, wrapped in bathrobes, we were treated to a full hooficure while dining on various delicacies brought to us by the attentive staff. I was pleased to see that less than half featured crystal berries in one shape or form. Cadance’s effort to diversify her empire’s cuisine was finally, ahem, taking fruit. Trixie giggled as she used her magic to feed me some tidbits. I used a wingtip to tickle her, causing her to squirm and making the attendant scold me for making her job difficult. That only made Trixie giggle more. I think that being freed of all the responsibilities of ruling during the honeymoon was a welcome relief to the mare. I must admit that I was glad to not have to deal with self-interested nobles and various crises. In fact, I couldn’t find it in me to care about anything beyond enjoying all the pampering. I didn’t even pay much attention to the darkening skies outside. After all, it wasn’t any business of mine what weather had been scheduled today.

I couldn’t help but notice the snow flurries when Trixie declared she wanted to take a dip in the large outdoor hot springs pool which was deep enough to swim in. Memories from my college days of a snowboard vacation, red wine, coeds, a hot tub, and icicles forming on my scrawny beard made me more than willing to acquiesce to her wish. After all, we had the entire pool to ourselves, the staff was giving us privacy, and our guards were discreetly looking the other way. It was Penumbra that brought me back to reality just as we were settling into the water.

“Sir. I don’t believe this snow storm is scheduled. Also, I’m concerned the Crystalling ceremony won’t be able to go forward if it gets any colder.”

“Nonsense!” said my wife. “This is the Crystal Empire. I have it on good authority from Princess Cadance that they deal with snow flurries just as earth pony villages do the same with rain showers. They do not have the advantage of pegasi so they just deal with the weather.”

Penumbra shifted on her hooves uncomfortably and I began to share a bit of her unease. “Tell you what, Penny. Fly back to the castle and come back if there is anything happening that we can help with. In the meantime, the springs here are warm enough to hold off any level of chill. This is the safest place for us.”

She regarded the two of us, nodded, and took off. No snarky come-back at my nickname for her. She was definitely concerned.

Trixie and I were mucking around in the pool like we were both teenagers again when the spa manager came up to us with one of Trixie’s guards. The mare’s lips pulled into a nervous smile. “We are so dreadfully sorry to interrupt your stay, Your Highnesses. If it would not be too much of an inconvenience, would you mind if the young ponies joined you at the main pool?”

My ears perked up. “Did something happen?”

“A thousand pardons, my lord, but the pumps supplying the water park have failed. Yesterday, we ran our first test at their full capacity but only for an hour. My chief mechanic is not confident he can have them working again quickly.”

Trixie said, “By all means! We shall not stand for foals to shiver in the cold while we luxuriate in the comfort of these magnificent spring waters. Let them come!” She turned to the guard. “Sharp Lance, please fetch Trixie her emergency bag – the green one.”

The unicorn stallion bowed and teleported away. The spa pony likewise bowed but did so more than once. “Thank you so much, Your Grace. Umm… please remind the foals not to get mud in the pool. It clogs the filters terribly.”

Even as a bachelor with little personal experience handling young kids, I figured that the manager was indulging in wishful thinking. By the time the last of the fifty or so fillies and colts had entered the walled-off area, some enterprising foal had figured out that a roughly spherical glob of mud dropped in the snow quickly became an excellent projectile, even if the mud balls didn’t last more than a minute or so in the hot springs. Ah, well. I’d just have to take that as a lesson not to have over four dozen kids of my own.

My spouse rebranded herself as “Beatrix the Magician” and was having the time of her life putting on an impromptu magic show. Once again wearing her trademark purple cape and hat, our visitors were none-the-wiser what tribe she came from. With none of the foals having a clue who she was, Trixie was free to perform without expectations or anypony telling her that delighting a bunch of foals was now beneath her station. I initially hadn’t wanted my wife to indulge in any work during our honeymoon, but she came alive in a way I had never seen before. Her eyes sparkled and every movement of her hooves and body projected her joy at returning to her long-abandoned passion. I braved the deepening snowfall because seeing my bride so happy was more than enough to keep me warm inside.

Eventually, her supplies of stage props and token gifts ran out and she reluctantly gave her final bows to her appreciative audience. Every one of the young ponies gave her a hoof-stomping standing ovation. Yep. She still had it.

After she shared some of her excess energy with me via a few passionate kisses, Trixie and I left the children to play in the pool and headed inside to shower off the mineral water. Conditioner was applied to our coats which were then brushed to a brilliant luster. We were both feeling very satisfied and ready to leave the spa. Just as we were approaching the front door, a wave of light passed through the room. I blinked in surprise when I saw that Trixie now looked crystalline. In fact, everypony in the spa had acquired translucent crystal bodies. My wife’s shocked expression caused me to examine myself and I discovered that I had acquired the same condition.

“What happened?” I asked.

The mare in charge of the spa sounded very apologetic as she replied, “They must have had the Crystalling already. I don’t know why they held it early, but I’m sorry to say you’ve missed it.”

“I had no idea it was so literal,” I said as I examined my new look more closely.

“And with crowd participation,” added Trixie. “It’s quite a show-stopper. I approve.”

I nodded. “I suppose we’ll learn more when we get back to the castle.”

As we exited the spa, I noted the same dark clouds were now rolling away in the distance and figured that Shining and Cadance had somehow dealt with the meteorological unpleasantness. I figured that I could ask our hosts about it later. We piled into our carriage and headed back into town, somewhat slowed by the need to dodge larger snowdrifts and pushing through smaller ones. It didn’t take long before we became aware of a shocking sight – the Crystal Castle had several holes in the walls! What the heck had been going on in our absence?!

There were quite a large number of citizens leaving the vicinity and I hailed a stallion with a rather impressive moustache. “Pardon me, sir, but can you tell me what just happened here?”

He gave me a broad smile. “The new princess was presented to us for the Crystalling ceremony and it was beautiful!”

“That’s nice, but I meant why is the castle damaged?”

“Sorry, friend, but I don’t know.”

Trixie poked me and said, “Leave the stallion alone, Dark Windbells. We’ll find out soon enough.”

I rolled my eyes. So the nicknames were back. Some things never changed. She had a point though and we continued on to the castle.

As we entered, we encountered Starlight Glimmer in the company of a bearded orange-coated unicorn stallion wearing a cape. Despite her magic suppression rings still being in place, I eyed her suspiciously and asked, “What have you been getting up to?”

She held up her forehooves defensively. “Not guilty!”

Shining came along at that moment and said, “Calm down, Mark. Starlight has been of immense help today. In fact, if she hadn’t convinced her friend Sunburst to come to the castle, the day could have turned catastrophic.”

Starlight said, “Actually, it was Penumbra who… talked him into overcoming his fears.”

I glanced at my bodyguard and she grinned hugely. I noticed the bespectacled stallion shudder and look anywhere but at her gleaming fangs.

“Who made those holes in the walls then?”

“Why don’t you all come to our largest sunroom and make yourselves comfortable. I’ll tell you all about the excitement that you missed.”

That’s how I learned about baby unicorns and magic surges. And it seems that alicorn foals are exponentially worse. In one exuberant spree, Flurry Heart had successfully ventilated much of the castle and blasted holes in many other objects too. But while that was bad enough, when her parents finally managed to catch her and stop her wild shenanigans, the foal was so upset that she shrieked with her mighty lungs and shattered the Crystal Heart. That is all that stood between the eternal wintry storms that ringed the nation and the city, which accounted for the snow that had fallen while we were at the spa. I gave thanks to any higher being who might be listening that Trixie and I would not be having an alicorn foal when we decided to have children. In fact, a pegasus baby sounded like a much better idea right now.

I asked Penny why she hadn’t come back to tell us what was going on. She replied that there was nothing that we could have done that others weren’t already doing and we were safe in the hot springs which was her primary concern. I couldn’t really argue with that, so I turned to the other subject of my interest – Starlight Glimmer’s role in fixing the problem. Actually, it was Sunburst who had come up with the solution which just so happened to include the Crystalling that we had missed. In addition, Starlight asked Penumbra to encourage Sunburst to ‘move past his attack of fear and self-doubt’ by having him face something he feared more. If Starlight hadn’t been involved, the Crystal Empire might have been lost. That would certainly look good at her trial. As Spike seemed to have his charge well in hand, I left him to it and returned my attention to my wife before she started to get any more impatient.

Trixie and I indulged in a chaise carriage tour of the city. It was an open type that let the husband and wife duo that pulled the carriage give us a running commentary on the sights and their history. Although we had visited the Crystal Empire for the Equestria Games, admittedly we had seen very little of this ancient city and it was a fascinating tour. After that, we had dinner at an upscale restaurant before going out to the theater to watch a play about a love triangle in the ancient days of the Crystal Empire. The story of the king, queen and greatest knight of the realm reminded me of Le Morte d'Arthur and the plays and films that derived from it. However, the militaristic temperament of the old Crystal Empire was strongly reflected by an emphasis on honor, dazzling swordsmanship, and pretty much every major character ending up dead by the end of the play, much to the delight of the mostly crystal pony audience.

That evening when we retired for the night, Trixie put on a show of her own. Inspired and excited by her return to her roots as a stage performer for the foals, she gave me a far more adult-oriented version. I think I can safely say that this was one form of magic that Twilight Sparkle would never master like my beloved, and I made sure to show Trixie how much I appreciated it when she finished her act.

The Crystal Empire heavily relied on tourism for its income. As such, it had many attractions to bring in visitors, not the least of which was an amusement park that was growing in popularity. Trixie and I enjoyed our relative anonymity there, both of us wearing clothing to hide our cutie marks and distract from our features. Likewise, our guards removed their armor and kept a discreet distance from us. Trixie and I got the chance to be ourselves for most of the day, riding the coasters, indulging in the games, and stuffing ourselves with overpriced park food. I think that this was the most carefree day that I’d had since arriving in Equestria, and I got to share it with my wife. Thankfully, no disasters happened that day, and when we wearily made our way back to the Castle, we were pleased to find that Shining’s parents had arrived earlier to help out with Flurry Heart. It turned out that there’s a mane clip designed to prevent unicorn foal magic surges which they gave to the royal couple, freeing them from renewing Sunburst’s magic dampening spell every couple of hours. Seemed to me that they should have thought of that back in Canterlot!

We had dinner with our hosts and spent the evening enjoying conversation only occasionally interrupted by the baby’s needs. I learned a lot about Twilight from Velvet and Night Light that I hadn’t known before. It gave me ideas about a present for Sparkles for looking after Equestria while Trixie and I were on our honeymoon. It also gave my mischievous spouse some ideas on pranking her co-ruler. Better make that two presents, I think.

When your country is surrounded by eternal snow, what do you do about it? Open a ski resort, of course! As appealing as their other attractions were, the ability to have year-round snow activities was something no other place could boast. In the nearby ranges, a village had grown to service the booming winter sports trade. The shops there catered for first-timers as well as pros, and that’s where Trixie and I were to be found the next day. Neither of us had any experience with skiing although we both admitted to tobogganing when we were young. Today though, we were going to strap on a pair of skis and find out what it was like to glide down the slopes on fresh powder snow.

After falling on my face for the twenty-seventh time, I decided that I had entertained my wife sufficiently with my total lack of ability and managed to persuade her to try something that might be more in my skill set. Cross-country skiing was a lot more sedate and involved wine and cheese to consume at hewn-log tables considerately placed at rest stops along the looping trail through the valley. I don’t know what they put in that crystal berry wine, but we were both pleasantly pickled by the time we got back to the resort. We rounded off the day with a meal at a mountain-top restaurant (only accessible by sleigh ride!) before retiring to our suite. Naturally, we had a private balcony with magnificent views of the snow-capped mountains and the picturesque village below. We put our warm coats back on and sat outside to watch the sunset while sharing another bottle of our new favorite wine as we cuddled together. What a fantastic day!

The next morning, I indulged Trixie’s desire to walk around the village shops. There was the usual tourist-oriented stuff for sale – cheap trinkets and expensive souvenirs, as well as Crystal Empire-themed clothing. Considering how recently the city had returned, it was amazing how much had been achieved, especially taking into consideration they were revitalizing old pre-Sombra industries. A lot of credit had to go to Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor whose efforts to rebuild the nation had been unstinting. This resort looked like it had something for everyone, including dog-sledding. Trixie was quite excited when she discovered the billboard advertising the activity. So, we joined a group of ponies led by an experienced guide. Each of us had a small team of huskies pulling a single-pony sled. We were given instructions on how to control our team of dogs and then lined up to follow our guide. A second dog-handler would take up the rear to ensure that nopony got left behind. That was not what proved to be our problem though.

Apparently, the dog team that my wife got was particularly excitable and eager to run. I put it down to the breed as this was what they were born and bred to do. The moment that they got the command to go, they took off like a shot with Trixie hanging on for dear life. The guide cursed and tried to head her off but her panicked commands to stop only seemed to add incentive to the dogs’ efforts and they pulled away from the would-be rescuer. As it was, Trixie had a death grip on her sled. Our pegasi and nocturne guardsponies were hampered by a sudden snow flurry and couldn’t keep up with the sleds on the ground. If I hadn’t abandoned my sled and taken wing to catch up to Trixie, she might be halfway to Yakyakistan by now. It was a good thing the snowfall hid me from the rest of the group because I was forced to switch to my pegacorn form to not only catch up but to also lift the sled, dogs and all, off the ground to bring them to a halt. I switched back moments before the guide and dog handler caught up and Trixie decided that she wasn’t that interested in dog-sledding after all. That was fine by me. I finally had something to tease my spouse about after the merciless ribbing she’d given me for my total failure at alpine skiing.

After having a leisurely lunch, Trixie was in the mood to do something different. Unfortunately, she thought ice skating would be a fun activity. My inability to stay upright on skis told me that was a no-no, so of course, my darling wife insisted. The things that I do for her! I wobbled out onto the ice rink with Trixie by my side, supporting me. Amazingly, I stayed on my hooves for an entire lap, but then I realized that Trixie’s horn was glowing and her magic was steadying me. She gave me a fond smile and said, “It seems we’re both a failure at something, so let’s at least do one thing properly together.”

I nodded and kissed her, and we continued making laps around the rink, a couple joined as one. Each of us knew we could utterly rely on the other when circumstances demanded it. Forget everything else that we did at the resort – that was my perfect moment.

Trixie and I headed back to the city later that afternoon and dined with Cadance and Shining. Both looked a lot better having managed to get adequate sleep with Twilight Velvet and Night Light’s experienced help with Flurry Heart. We chatted about our adventures at the resort for a while, but we retired early because we had to rise in time to break our fast before catching the morning train. After thanking the royal couple for their hospitality, Trixie and I headed to the station along with our personal guards to begin the next leg of our honeymoon vacation.

Moon Dancer and Starlight Glimmer accompanied us to the Mount Canterhorn Junction train station. While they returned to Canterlot with a couple of the Royal Guards, our goal was farther south. Appleloosa was holding a major rodeo and county fair, and we had been invited as special guests. We didn't have any responsibilities other than smiling and waving to the crowd, so we got to enjoy all the events from Royal Box seats. I’m not much of a fan of this kind of thing, but our hosts helped make the day enjoyable. I got a kick out of the rodeo clowns, especially Trouble Shoes, a Clydesdale-type pony whom the CMC had helped a little while back. He was just as hilarious as they had told me. The fair went well into the evening and we indulged ourselves in all the typical games of skill and rides just like we were foals again. Okay, technically I was never a foal, but you know what I mean.

We only stayed one night and continued travelling south the next day. There used to be only an occasional caravan service going to the remote town of Dartmoor Beach on the south-west coast of Equestria, but my efforts to get the nation better prepared for defending itself had included expansion of the rail network. The rapid movement of troops to various locations was critical in times of war, and the south coast had been only accessible by sea, airship, or trekking over a hostile desert. Now, a brand new line took us through that wasteland, past Kluge Town, and terminating at Mount Aris. Or almost. Only so much can be achieved in the time since those plans were put into action, and in spite of the speed with which ponies worked, the rail didn’t quite reach that final destination yet. The biggest problem was that Mount Aris was located on an island and a series of bridges needed to be constructed to bring the train to the new station being built on the home of the hippogriffs. These were well underway but for the moment, we had to disembark the train at a temporary platform near a wharf where a boat waited to complete our journey. A squad of hippogriff soldiers was waiting to escort us to Queen Novo’s palace and our personal guards began setting up their tents as they would wait for us to return. The exception was Penumbra who stuck with me like glue. That mare took her job super seriously even when in the realm of a close ally. We were led into the throne room where a stately mare with a pale pink coat and feathers plus a mauve mane and tail warmly greeted us.

“Princess Trixie, Prince Mark – welcome to Mount Aris. I have been looking forward to your arrival. My ambassador has told me so much about you and I regret that I have been unable to come to Canterlot since Princess Celestia disappeared. I hope that we can make up for lost opportunities while you are here, but meanwhile, I will see to it that you enjoy your honeymoon vacation.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” I replied.

“Trixie has been looking forward to this visit,” my wife added.

Novo smiled and said, “I have asked my daughter Skystar to see that you are made comfortable. She’s a little excitable though, and I’m hoping that she might benefit from spending some time with an Equestrian royal couple. I hope that you won’t mind.”

I glanced at Trixie who gave me a noncommittal look. “We look forward to meeting her,” I replied.

“Excellent! Stratus Skyranger will be in charge of your security while you’re here. He will take you to Princess Skystar. I will join you for dinner later.”

A blue-coated hippogriff stallion in guard barding stepped forward. “If Your Highnesses would care to follow me?”

Trixie and I walked behind the guard who led us further into the palace. Before long, we encountered a pale yellow young hippogriff mare with a blue mane. She practically danced on her hooves and talons when she saw us approaching.”

“Omigosh! Real Equestrian royalty! Hi! I’m Princess Skystar and I’m so happy to meet you!”

I grinned. I already liked the girl and I held out a hoof to shake her claws. “A pleasure to meet you, Skystar. I’m Prince Mark Wells and this is my wife, Princess Trixie Lulamoon.”

“I’ve arranged to have your luggage brought to your suite. We can go there now or I can show you around a bit?”

“Trixie would like to see more of this impressive palace,” she said with a smile.

Skystar blinked with confusion. “I thought you were Trixie?”

“Of course.”

“But you said that Trixie would like to see the palace…”

“My wife likes to talk in third person, Skystar,” I said.

The hippogriff stared and shrugged. “Equestrian customs are strange.” She brightened again. “Come on – follow me!”

Skystar showed us around the castle with its eccentric mix of undersea and aerial motifs. Polished coral flooring and mother-of-pearl inlaid furniture complimented flowing walls of magically suspended seawater and ceilings sculpted from clouds. She then took us on a tour of the gardens that led up the side of the mountain that gave the city its name. We made it back in time to freshen up before dinner with Queen Novo. Table conversation tended to center upon the disappearance of the Royal Sisters and Trixie and Twilight’s reign. The hippogriff monarch was equally puzzled about the reason for her friend, Celestia, to suddenly rush off with her sister, eliminating yet another possible source of information.

Our suite overlooked the bay, and because the palace was built up the slope of the mountain, it provided us with a magnificent view of the city, beach, and the sparkling sea. The salty air gave a novel scent to everything too, and the susurration of the surf lulled us to sleep after we made love once more.

Princess Skystar gave us a tour of the arts and culture of their nation the next morning, but she spent almost as much time asking us about ours and making comparisons. She seemed to be a bundle of boundless energy and curiosity. I reckon that Queen Novo must have tasked her with entertaining us just to tire her out a little! By lunchtime, the day had warmed considerably and, after light refreshments, we headed for the beach. Culture and conversation were fine, but Trixie and I were here to have some fun too.

It seemed that the idea was popular among the foals as well. The beach wasn’t too crowded, but there were plenty of curious children and adults around us most of the afternoon. That was perfectly fine with us because we indulged in various games with them such as volleyball. Trixie got to show off her athletic talents, and I got to watch my sexy wife. Good times.

I’m just not going to discuss how my overall lack of coordination carried over to yet another sport I thought I would be good at.

To our surprise, Queen Novo joined us later in the afternoon.

“My honored guests, I would like to show you one of our realm’s hidden secrets. Before today, it had only been shared with Celestia and Luna. As trusted allies, I believe that you will keep this knowledge to yourselves.”

“You’ve certainly aroused my curiosity,” I replied.

“Trixie’s too. You have our word that we will keep any secret you choose to reveal to us.”

“Very well. Please follow me.”

We were both a little startled when Novo started marching into the sea but we followed her anyway. When the water was nearly up to our withers, she dived down and disappeared for a moment. Trixie and I looked at each other, wondering if we were supposed to follow suit. Just then, Novo resurfaced, leaping out of the water and diving back again. My jaw dropped and I imagine Trixie’s did too because the hippogriff queen had transformed into something resembling a leafy seahorse.

“A seapony! Trixie thought you were their land-based monarch, not that you transformed into one!”

Even I wasn’t positive that the seaponies were transformed hippogriffs, and to see it for myself was still startling. Abruptly, several of the adults and foals flew out to join us in the water, transforming into seaponies as well. Apparently, having been given the sign that it was okay to reveal their ability to change, they were eager to indulge in swimming in the form most conducive to that purpose.

Novo rose partially out of the water in front of us. “So you somehow already associated me with the myth of seaponies? You will have to tell me how you learned this. In any case, our seapony forms not only allow us to master the sea but also serve as a defense against hostile forces. The magic that allows us to transform can be bestowed upon you too if you wish?”

I looked at Trixie and grinned. She returned the expression and nodded.

“We’re in!” I exclaimed.

I waved to get Penumbra’s attention on the beach, which was difficult considering she was gaping at all the transformed beings now splashing happily in the water. “Penumbra! Penumbra! We’ll be back in a bit!” I turned back to the seapony queen just as my guard started to voice her displeasure. There would be consequences later, but only myself and Trixie had been invited and I chose not to make a diplomatic incident about the exclusion of our guard.

Novo smiled and the pearl around her neck glowed. Abruptly, I felt my form change and, without legs to stand on, I slid under the water. Caught by surprise, I accidentally breathed in water, but rather than cough and splutter, I found it natural and comfortable. I could now breathe underwater! I tried to move and instinctively flicked my tail, making me surge into deeper water where I found my equally transformed wife checking herself out. Her artificial wings had slid off her thinner barrel and now bobbed behind her—the invisible cinch probably looped around her tail. Then Trixie looked at me and laughed as she flicked the artificial appendages away..

“What’s so funny?” I asked, wondering how it was possible to talk in water.

“Have you looked at yourself yet, ‘Your Highness’?” she asked with a smirk.

I turned to check out my new form and my eyes opened wide in surprise. I was in my Celestial form! Or at least a seapony version of it. “What the heck? I didn’t try to change into this.”

“Perhaps your own transformation magic got tangled with Novo’s spell,” Trixie speculated.

“I guess so. This is going to be awkward to explain to—”

“Celestia! Have you been hiding under another identity all this time?” exclaimed Novo as she swam up to us.

“Of course she has!” said my wife unhelpfully. I opened my mouth to contradict her but she barreled on. “Do not believe anything she says to the contrary! You have doubtless heard of the amnesia that was made widely known when my Grand Vizier was announced to the Equestrian Court. This was the best way to explain poor, poor Celestia’s tragic and long-lasting delusions of stallionhood.” My wife’s smirk was, if anything, even wider in this new seapony form.

“Oh, I am so very, very pleased that you are with us once again, dear Celestia!” proclaimed Queen Novo. “However, if you insist on carrying on the lie despite all evidence to the contrary…” She waved a hoof at my form. “… far be it for me to contradict you.” Turning, I saw the same grin on the seapony queen’s face, which only grew wider when she looked past me to my wife.

My stallion’s feelings of shock and offense were finally being overridden by my mare’s intuition at realizing I was being played. I swam backward so I could give both of them a glare as Novo glided to Trixie’s side. “Have you two been planning this for weeks or does it just come naturally?”

Both of them burst out laughing and hugged each other.

When they had settled down, I said, “I’m definitely not Celestia. I’m still Mark Wells. Look at my cutie mark – it hasn’t changed.” Thankfully, although it had shifted to a dorsal fin, I still retained my normal cutie mark.

“This is very strange,” Novo said stifling a chuckle. “But why would a pegasus stallion change into an alicorn mare?”

“It’s a long story, Your Majesty, and one that few know as yet. I can tell you about it later over dinner if you wish. We can exchange secrets then. Meanwhile, I’d like to explore a little while in this form.”

Novo smiled knowingly. “Our ability to change into seaponies is only half the secret. Follow me.”

She shot away at great speed and my wife and I followed as best we could. Fortunately, the proper use of our marine forms seemed to be instinctive, so we managed to keep up. Novo led us deeper into the ocean and through a series of reefs until we emerged into a vast cavern lit by phosphorescent corals, kelp, and other plant life. I stopped and gaped at the scene before me. A three-dimensional city lay before us with dwellings and other structures located on the walls and roof, all with a unique style of architecture only suited to a marine environment. It was enthrallingly beautiful.

Novo swam up to our side and proudly said, “Welcome to Seaquestria.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Back from vacation and back to writing the long-awaited honeymoon episode. I found it amusing that Mark totally misses out on doing anything during the Crystalling crisis.

Art by Andy Price done at BABScon 2019. I've long-wished to get a picture from him. Such a great artist.

Seapony Mark and Trixie by Foxenawolf.

Chapter 62 - Intriguing Discoveries

I was brooding.

There was no other way to describe it. I didn’t know if it was the memory of the Storm King Ambassador’s smile that was eating at me or the fact that we had basically zero intelligence on him or the land his empire had conquered. I was reminded of North Korea in that zero news reaching the outside world was likely an indicator of dark secrets being held inside the borders. I sighed, stopping my repetitive motions with a mane-brush. I had been zoning out for probably ten minutes, just staring at myself in the mirror as my mind wandered.

I tossed the brush onto the counter. Well, was I the pony that thought about every problem sideways or not? Time to get unstuck.

I trotted out of the suite my wife and I shared, Penny matched my pace to my left. As we entered an empty hallway, I said, “Send a message to the dungeons. Have Chrysalis summoned to the interview room. I have new questions for her.”

“Mmmmmm… Mmmmmmmmmm…”

I stopped to look at my bodyguard. She was tilting her head from side to side, giving off a non-committal sound like she wanted to voice a protest but couldn’t make herself do it. Of course, I knew when and where she would contradict me in private at the drop of a hat— anywhere on the face of Equus.

I arched an eyebrow. “Care to share your thoughts, Penny?”

She gasped. “Oh, thank you so much for asking, Your Splendiferousness!”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. Definitely a tactical mistake to teach her that word.

Penny continued. “I recommend you visit her cell. She can’t reach you because of the wards and shields in place, and it’s just more… cozy.”

Yeah, sure. ‘Cozy’ had nothing to do with it. But I decided to trust Penumbra’s judgment. Maybe she had heard that Chrysalis’ recent mood was such that she would have to be dragged kicking and screaming to a royal appointment. Not exactly conducive to getting the answers I wanted.

I nodded. “Lead on.”

When we arrived at the bottom level of the dungeons, the four guardsponies snapped to stiffer attention. The two unicorns were apprentices from the Guild of Mages and settled for giving me a respectful head-nod. I noted that both kept their horns dimly lit in preparation for any spell they might need to cast at a moment’s notice. The steel-banded nullstone door to the prisoner’s room was open. A faint, multi-colored wall of magic stretched across the doorway. The image of the room beyond wavered a bit, like looking through the shallow water of a pond. What I saw on the other side made me blink. My brain refused to process what I was seeing.

“Explain,” I said.

That got Chrysalis’ attention long enough to give me a disappointed look. Then her eyes went back down to her hooves to continue the pattern she was knitting.

Penny said, “The cleaning pony enters yon Royal Chambers on a weekly basis, though only after Her Majesty allows her to. A few months back, Her August Pricklishness was in an especially cranky mood and forced Reef Knot to wait. Well, being one who valued her time, the earth pony mare shoved one of the mages out of his chair and took out her knitting. For some reason, this captured The Divine Egg-layer’s interest like nopony’s business. After getting the yarn and needles cleared through Security, The Royal Loom has been churning out yard after yard of that scarf.”

“You don’t say,” I responded. The captive queen’s demeanor looked more than a bit like my maternal grandmother when she was knitting, especially the displeased frown that meant the children were being too loud again.

“Yep. Reef Knot brings down her knitting group to the interview room every Wednesday night and the elderly mares gossip and tell stories. Everypony appears to have a good time and our Illustrious Bug of Crafting seems to genuinely enjoy their company.”

Well, that was certainly unexpected. I wondered if this was purely a matter of convenience for the captive queen or if she was forming genuine friendships. A glance at her wings confirmed that this was probably not the case.

I continued to study her for a couple of minutes. Looked like I would have to get the conversation rolling. “I take it you find knitting relaxing? Enough to resist the urge to strangle all the idiots surrounding you?”

Chrysalis didn’t look up but she gave the hint of a smile. “You do understand... the idiot part at least. While we're on the subject, I need you to be silent so I can finish this line.”

I held my tongue as she slowly worked along the top layer of her scarf. Unsurprisingly, she continued onto the next line.

I waited until she was halfway through before saying, “I'm wondering what you know about the Storm King.”

Her hooves paused for a moment then resumed. After a few seconds, she said, “Why do you ask?”

“I thought your intelligence network may have gathered some useful information on what he is like. You see, his Ambassador has been invited to our upcoming Friendship Festival. We might get lucky and the Storm King himself will show up.”

Her hooves lurched and the pattern deformed. The top few layers now had some parts loosened while others had their slack taken out. She’d have to pull those lines out and redo them.

Chrysalis set the work down. She still would not meet my eyes. “That would not be advisable.”

“And why not?”

The Queen went twice to pick up her knitting work and stopped herself each time. After that, she sat mute.

I faced the hallway, slowly walking away. “Fine. Perhaps I will bring him down here and do the introductions when he visits. Goodbye, Chrysalis.”

“Very well!” I heard from behind me. I turned around, returned to my spot in front of the door and sat down. The changeling was still lying in the center of her cell, but she was looking at me now, a displeased frown on her face.

“The Equestrian Hive Queens meet every twenty years. At my first, I took an immediate dislike to one queen in particular— Dactylia of the Southern Wastes. Each of us would trade insults and boasts, warning the other not to get in the other’s way. The reason for our hostility soon dawned on both of us. Out of all the changeling queens, only the two of us shared the same level of ambition for bettering our hives.”

“The Southern Wastes Hive’s understanding of all forms of magic was superior to every other hive and their jealously guarded secret. In exchange for an exorbitant amount of stored love, they supplied all the remaining hives with what appeared to be common pony artifacts, but they could be activated by changeling magic. The items had special capabilities essential for infiltrators and completely undetectable by ponies. Thirty-nine years ago, Dactylia gave me the pinnacle of her hive’s achievements. She instructed me how only a queen’s magic could activate the spell woven onto the surface of a circular crystal plate. This allowed us to see and hear each other through a link to the companion plate despite the great distance between us. Dactylia accomplished what no pony mage ever had! We scheduled a time to talk once each month, assisting each other whenever feasible now that we were safe from the ears of other queens.”

Her frown deepened. “Six months ago, Dactylia told me about her plans. Her drones were poised to infiltrate and replace key ponies in the city of Sisophon, and by doing so, expand the edge of her hive's territory. However, in the matter of a single day, a warlord named The Storm King conquered the town and closed it off. The last drone to escape could find no trace of those ponies that used to be in charge, rendering worthless years of intelligence gathering. Dactylia confided that she still planned to send disguised drones to scout out the town in a few weeks. She would learn what kind of opportunities could come out of this new power in the region.”

She swallowed. “The following month, I returned to my chambers at our arranged time…”

“I am not to be disturbed.”

Both warrior drones saluted as I marched past, shouting “Yes, My Queen!” even as I shut the door.

I cast a sound-dampening bubble around me. My brief time with Shining Armor had been very educational. I was impressed at the sheer variety of effects that could be overlaid onto a simple shield spell. I had applied his techniques to changeling shields with moderate success, teaching the modifications to my children. I smiled. Perhaps when we met again, I could thank him properly.

I wiped my grin away. Such idle fantasizing was beneath me when there were more important matters at hoof. “It is time.”

I lit my horn, feeding the energy into the four protrusions on the front of the plate. The pale yellow crystal slowly turned dull gray, spreading out in translucent rings from the center. I waited with increasing impatience as the featureless surface continued to stare back at me. This was unprecedented. Dactylia was even more obsessed with punctuality than I. She had never failed to power-up her side of the link after a dozen seconds. Now it was approaching five minutes.

Just as I was about to cut off my supply of magic, the center of the plate rippled with dark and light expanding circles. It was about damn time. I prepared a particularly biting insult to hurl at the only changeling queen I considered my equal.

My words died in my throat when a blinding beam of light shot into my face, dazzling me for a moment. I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the radiance shining from the disk. Once I could see the scene properly, I didn’t understand what I beheld. The unfamiliar room where the companion plate rested was brightly lit. Why had Dactylia moved it? A glance upward showed a large hole in the ceiling, allowing sunlight to stream into the chamber. Looking around the area, I felt my stomach drop to my hooves as I finally recognized it. This was the queen’s quarters. The plate was still on the table in the center of the room. A queen’s chamber was always positioned at the deepest part of the hive to provide the greatest protection. Now Dactylia’s was exposed to the elements.

Before I could consider this further, I heard the sounds of steps come through the disk. Someone walked by the left side of the table where the companion plate sat as it always had. He was in no hurry, turning to face me only after reaching the front of the table. I had seen a corpse of his species before, so I had no trouble recognizing him as an adult yeti male. The pair of glowing blue lightning bolts on his chest armor removed any doubt who the yeti was—The Storm King. His fanged smile got wider as he slammed the butt end of his staff to the ground. He stood there, studying me with wry amusement on his face. He was waiting for something… some sort of reaction from me.

That’s when I noticed the head of his gnarled wooden staff. A glowing blue crystal was nestled near the top, and rising from the highest point of the crystal...

I gasped. It was Dactylia’s horn, emitting the same blue-green color that I had seen countless times when she was alive.

My hoof lashed out, shattering the disk and breaking the connection. I stood there for I don’t know how long. My first thought was to chastise myself for showing weakness to this warlord. That quickly gave way to concern for the safety of my hive.

Turning, I used my magic to dump the pillow out of a nearby silk pillowcase. The makeshift sack was then filled with the remains of the crystal disk. I released my hold on the shield spell, causing it to disappear with an audible pop. Opening the door to my chambers, I turned to the guard on the right and thrust the bag into his chest. “Pronotum, fly this over the Sparkling Sea. Continue until your power gives out and you plunge into the ocean. Only then can the hive be safe again.”

“My Queen!” He grabbed the pillowcase in his magic and galloped down the tunnel.

After the sounds of his hoofsteps faded, I turned to the remaining guard. “Elytron, you will follow Pronotum with your obscuring spell active. If he hesitates in his duty, you are to kill him and carry out his orders. If he is still flying over the ocean after a full day, only then will you return to inform me.”

The warrior drone disappeared from my sight, but I could still feel his presence through my link to the hive around me.

I heard, “My Queen!” followed by more hoofsteps down the hallway.

Chrysalis ground her fangs while I waited. She appeared to be choosing her words carefully. “There are very few beings on Equus for whom I hold a small amount of respect. But there is only one I fear and hate in equal measure.”

A longer pause. “If you deliver him to me, I give you my word as Queen that I will commit a year of my life to the service of all ponies.”

That gave me a pretty clear indication of exactly how much animosity Chrysalis had for the Storm King. Not that I could carry out her wish and stay true to the tenets of Harmony. That was a non-starter.

Still, I had to respond. “I understand.”

This time, I did not turn back as I trotted up the hallway. We only had a few weeks to prepare. Where was a good place to start?

“Penny,” I asked, “tell me. Do foals go through fire-drills at school every year?”

Do you know how big the Crystal City’s library is? Well, I do now. It was a good reminder as to how it was the capital of an empire once upon a time. It must have collected works from over half of Equus at the minimum and stored them on the myriad of shelves on the several floors that comprised the edifice. No wonder it was one of Twilight’s favorite places to visit. I should have known better when she asked me if I would help look for Star Swirl’s journal there. If a book fiend like her couldn’t narrow down a search to something manageable even with the help of the librarians, then there had to be a valid reason. Sheer quantity was that justification. My wife’s dour expression when I told her that I’d be happy to help Twilight in her task was now explained. She wasn’t going to let me live this down soon because I hadn’t consulted her before agreeing. Trixie was feeling a lot more clingy and jealous of our private time as she grew more gravid, and she had known, or at least guessed, that this task was going to consume all of Saturday and Sunday. Thankfully, no time was wasted in traveling there due to the handy-dandy portals.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if we had found that dratted book. With the help of the Dread Archivist (his title being a link to the Empire’s warmongering past), Twilight and I checked out the more precious and obscure works. We examined every book, journal, tome, compendium, lexicon, treatise, opus… and thesaurus! All to no avail. The map table showed it was here in the city, but I could say with weary certainty that it wasn’t in this library. Cadance insisted that it was not in the castle’s bibliotheca (Hey! I learned a new word that I’ll never use again!), so we returned empty-hooved to Ponyville. For the moment, we were stumped.

When Sunburst unexpectedly arrived at Canterlot on Thursday and barged into Day Court and asked for a private audience with the Triarchs, we were worried that something had happened in the Crystal Empire and he had been sent to warn us. One hastily ordered recess and summoning of Twilight Sparkle later, we were both relieved and astounded by the news that he brought.

Sunburst said, “I spent days examining and cataloguing all the crates of books that I bought on my last visit, but it was only when I finally got around to opening the mystery barrel that I uncovered this.” He produced a book from under his cape, opening it with his magic. Twilight, Trixie, and I crowded closer to look at it.

“You found it!” Twilight gasped.

“It was in your possession all this time,” I groaned.

Sunburst looked chagrined. “If I hadn’t gone on my buying spree, it would have still been here in an antique store and easily located.”

Trixie said, “Now that you have it, what do you plan to do with it?”

Twilight enthused , “Just think of everything we can learn! Secrets from the past unlocked. Rash, unfiltered theories on the innermost workings of magic itself. Conversations with fantastic beings from undiscovered dimensions. Spells Star Swirl may have been working on. What he liked to eat for lunch!”

It seemed Sunburst had tapped a well of imagination that our Book Princess visited frequently. “How about we begin with turning to the end of the journal to see if there’s a clue to his disappearance?” I asked drolly.

Twilight blushed a little. “A-heh. Oh, yeah.”

“Allow me,” I said, reaching for the book. There was less chance of any time-wasting distractions if I kept it out of the hooves of two of the nerdiest ponies in history. I riffled through the pages until I came to the last of the writing. I opened my mouth to read what was on that page before realizing that it was absolute gibberish to me.

With a smirk, Twilight took the journal back out of my possession. “Unless you suddenly know how to read Olde Ponish, I suggest that you leave that to either Sunburst or me.” She looked at the open page and stared aghast. “This has to be the worst horn-writing I’ve ever seen.”

I chuckled. “It looks like ancient languages aren’t the only bar to comprehension. This Star Swirl must be like doctors – their writing gets worse the more they learn.”

The alicorn stuck her tongue out at me and then resumed trying to read the scrawls which veered up and down as they marched across the pages, seeming to battle each other to gain more precious space than their counterparts. She hesitantly began, “Let’s see… umm… ‘Strength, Bravery, Beauty, Healing, Hope, and Sorcery…. Myself and the other Pillars of Equestria… were gathered together by… umm… another to maintain and share the light of… these powerful ideals. But we soon… came to believe that the pony… who had brought… us together only wanted that power… for himself. Cast out and… alone, this power-mad pony turned… to darkness to… ahh… satisfy his thirst. Transformed into a pony of shadows… he returned for revenge, to… extinguish the Pillars’ light… to rob the world of hope. To stop him, the Pillars and I… must make a… umm… grave sacrifice. But we will leave behind a seed… in the hopes that… one day, it will grow into a force to… stand against the darkness… for all time. We must now face the… fiend with the only plan we have. I only hope that will be… enough.’ ” She looked up at us. “That’s it – his final entry.”

I felt a bit uneasy. Another world-threatening menace? Experience told me that those loved making encore appearances. “A pity Beardie liked to wax poetic instead of putting in some more explicit detail. I’d like to know more about this Pony of Shadows.”

Sunburst said, “Whoever it was, he seems to have disappeared along with the Pillars.”

“Perhaps there’s more on the subject in the rest of the journal?” Trixie suggested.

Sunburst grinned. “Of course! Think of all the reading, the research, and cross-indexing! It will be awesome!”

I said, “It sounds like you two have got your work cut out for you. Let us know what you find out and how it relates to all the other tokens the map table had us chasing. Meanwhile, Trixie and I have Day Court to continue. Twilight, we’ll handle the afternoon meeting with the Griffonstone Ambassador.”

“Uh-huh,” was the only reply that I got. Twilight and Sunburst were already huddled over the book and losing themselves in its words. Trixie rolled her eyes and headed back to the throne room. As I followed, I made a mental note to let Thorax know what had happened so that he could at least attempt to fetch his preoccupied wife later.

The next day, Twilight sent a message to us requesting the day off from Day Court. Because of her position as Princess of Friendship, she was occasionally called to action at odd times, so we had flexibility built into our schedules. Trixie and I didn’t mind the infrequent times that we took over Twilight’s duties for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we got to take days off for ourselves later while the alicorn handled everything for a while. Secondly, the random changes to the Triarchs on court duty tended to rattle the nobles who had their strategies built upon petitioning a specific princess. I liked to keep them on the tip of their hooves and pull the rug out from under them whenever they tried to undermine us.

On this occasion, I wasn’t sure if I shouldn’t be a little bit irked. Rather than going to confront some problem that only she and her friends were qualified to meet, it turned out that she was holed up with Sunburst, Moon Dancer, Thorax, and Spike researching anything to do with Star Swirl’s journal. When Saturday rolled around, she was still busy and had roped in some of our friends to help. As Rainbow Dash was away on training exercises with the Wonderbolts, there seemed little reason for me to make my usual weekend visit to Ponyville. Instead, Trixie and I indulged in a few different activities together including attending a street fair (which would have been a lot more fun without a retinue of Royal Guards around us), watching a new play at the Canterlot Theater (Trixie loved it but I’m still trying to figure it out), taking in a hoofball game at the stadium (I don’t know how Trixie managed to fall asleep during the final quarter of that thrilling match), and having breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the revitalized Restaurant Row.

I was startled by the degree of change there. Gone were all the signs with the 3-hoof ratings and the boring sameness of window dressing. Now, each establishment was competing to outdo the others with their wildly varied offerings and eye-catching exteriors. Judging by the crowds, they were doing quite well, trading on their previous reputation as the place to dine, and then keeping their customers by having cuisine to back up that claim. The Neighponese restaurant had excellent sushi, nigiri, sashimi (popular with pegasi), and other staples of that style of cooking. I tried to gross out my wife by eating sea urchin (which I despised), but she gamely munched down three pieces for my one. Fortunately, Penny saved my bacon by snarfing down my last two pieces before I could weakly protest. Not sure exactly why she did me that favor. Maybe she saw it as a threat… to me getting sick all over the table. Or perhaps she just liked the taste and took advantage of my hesitation. Regardless, I knew better than to ask because I would not get a straight answer.

The Prench establishment retained some of its previous haute cuisine atmosphere but served food that was genuinely enjoyable. Fortunately, the wait staff was considerably more polite and responsive than the previous time I visited. I’m willing to excuse high prices and a long wait in return for great service and delicious food. The Germane restaurant had a delightfully wide-ranging menu, plenty of beer and cider, and cheerful bustling staff. Add to that the wonderful atmosphere that only happens when you are in a room full of ponies all having a great time. I promised myself that I would try out each of the other restaurants in the near future to see what they were offering to compete with their neighbors.

When Monday morning arrived with no sign of Twilight, I left Trixie to enjoy her lunch while taking Starlight Glimmer with me to visit Friendship Castle. While I actually enjoyed the leisurely trip by train to Ponyville on my weekend trips, I did not have the luxury of time today. Thankfully, we now had the benefit of a portal to give us instant access to Ponyville’s most garish edifice. So, it was only a minute later that Starlight and I found Twilight and company in the castle’s library. Everypony looked tired and haggard, reminding me of how I looked in the mirror after spending ages in the Crystal City library’s multitude of chambers, searching for the book that triggered this latest bout of insomnia.

“Hey, everypony,” I said. “Guess which princess is due at court in less than half an hour!”

Twilight groaned. “We still haven’t figured out what happened to Star Swirl yet!”

“You’ve been at it for three days but this puzzle has lasted a thousand years – it can wait.”

“But I feel that we’re so close now!” the alicorn objected. “It’s just that we keep getting stuck due to not being able to read large chunks of text because we can’t decipher Star Swirl’s appallingly bad writing!”

Twilight sounded both frustrated and disappointed that her idol was anything less than perfect in any way. I almost hated to drag her away from her quest. “I’m sorry to hear that. However, you can continue your efforts later. You have about twenty-five minutes to have something to eat and drink, freshen up, and be on time for the afternoon session. I even brought along Starlight to help me drag you back if you’re reluctant.” My personal advisor was the only pony I knew that stood a chance of out-stubborning the purple alicorn. I looked around to Glimmy to get her to back me up, only to find her squinting at the journal that was propped open on a table.

“Hearg sylfum se Ponhenge,” she read, or something like that. I had no clue what she was actually saying.

Twilight apparently did though. She raced over to the unicorn’s side, exclaiming, “The Temple of Ponehenge! You can read that?!”

“The horn writing’s pretty awful, but it’s nowhere near as bad as mine.” She lowered her head and continued, “Towar dol grimlic of Fola Firgenbeorg?”

Sunburst excitedly translated, “At the base of Foal Mountain!”

“Ooser endemest scield.”

“Our last stand,” finished Twilight. “That’s it! That’s where we can finally uncover the truth behind the disappearance of Star Swirl and the Pillars of Equestria!”

I facehoofed and groaned. “You were supposed to help me, Glim-Glam. Now I’ll never get her back to Canterlot.”

Twilight gave me a triumphant grin. “We’ll set off for Ponehenge right away.”

I gave her a flat look. “It’s seriously called that?” I sighed. “Okay. Just give me ten minutes to square this with Trixie and grab my saddlebags.”

“You don’t have to come with us, Mark,” Twilight said.

“And let you traipse off without somepony to rein you in? Oh, no! I don’t think so, Twi.”

Foal Mountain is pretty big. The area around the base of the mountain is absolutely huge. While the journal had said that Ponehenge was at its base, there wasn’t any hint as to specifically where it was. Thus, we spent hours searching through thick forest after we arrived via the nearest portal. Twilight, Penumbra, and I did an aerial search while Fluttershy hovered over the ground-bound members so that we wouldn’t lose track of where they were. We did methodical sweeps of sections of the area, concentrating on where we suspected it should be. I was beginning to think it was a lost cause and the structure had been obliterated by centuries of weathering. Then Twilight gave an excited cry.

“Look there! I think that’s it!”

She pointed to the southwest where I noticed a small interruption to the canopy. We flew over and spotted six standing stones nearly completely overgrown by the surrounding trees. Settling down in the middle of a well-like structure at the center, we looked around more closely.

“We’ve found it,” Twilight said. “While it’s obviously falling apart, the shape matches the sketch in the journal.”

“Sure looks like it,” I agreed. What else would look like a pony pun of Stonehenge? “I’ll go guide everypony over here.” I realized that I was basically talking to myself though. Twilight was already focused on tearing away the vegetation and examining the ancient ruins.

I took off again and caught sight of Fluttershy with my keen pegasus eyesight. Handy in this sort of situation. It took Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Starlight about half an hour to make their way through the dense underbrush to join Twilight. Sunburst was nearly beside himself with excitement but Twilight was subdued.

“I haven’t been able to find any clue about what happened here,” she complained. “Everything is so overgrown and decayed.”

Rarity regarded the structure with some concern. “This looks like an even bigger challenge to clean up than Mistmane’s garden.”

“I’m not sure if some of these standing stones are safe,” Fluttershy said, poking at one of them. A piece obligingly broke off and she blushed and tried to hide it. The mare delicately shoved it back in place before anypony noticed and turned around with an unconvincing smile. The piece, of course, fell out again.

Sunburst wiped away some moss and dirt from the stone in front of Twilight, revealing the faint remains of some ancient script carved thereon. “I’ve never seen these kinds of runes before. Have you?”

“No, I haven’t,” the alicorn replied. “Otherwise they might give us some idea of what purpose they served. I wish there was a reference to these symbols in the journal, but there’s nothing.”

I said, “Do you think that maybe they aren’t written down because that would be the equivalent of us including the modern alphabet in one of our own journals?”

Starlight said, “You have a good point, Mark. We could copy all of the runes and research them back home.”

Twilight brightened. “That makes sense. Spike – my quill and paper, please.”

As the drake started digging into his backpack, Twilight put the journal down on the platform in front of one of the stones to prepare to transcribe the runes. No one expected the cover to suddenly start glowing. Then the book flew open and a swirling light grew up out of it. I felt the magic it exuded even as it resolved itself into the image of a bearded unicorn wearing a distinctive hat and cape. No prizes for guessing who it was.

“Star Swirl? I can’t believe that you’re here!” exclaimed Twilight.

“I think that’s just a magical projection, Twi,” I said gently, not wanting to disappoint her too much.

Sunburst said, “I think you’re right. They’re probably all just recorded images.”

He pointed to the other stones where more magical holograms of ponies were forming – very familiar ponies from the illustrations in Star Swirl’s journal. Abruptly, the wizard’s image lowered his horn and a beam of magic streamed into the well in the middle of Ponehenge, complete with sound effects. Okay, that seriously rocked! A startled Fluttershy squeaked loudly and tumbled off of the well and backed away. Then a dark shape grew out of the well and coalesced into the form of a large featureless winged unicorn, dominating the area. If this wasn’t the Pony of Shadows, I don’t know what else could have qualified so well. Then it started laughing malevolently.

“You summon me at your peril, Star Swirl! Once I defeat all of you, this realm will be consumed by darkness, just as I was so long ago.”

Dark tendrils shot out of the demonic pony, lashing around each of the Pillars of Equestria. They struggled with their constraints even as the Pony of Shadows continued to gloat while we could only watch in horror.

“Drawing me here only makes me stronger. You will never defeat me!”

Star Swirl’s magic snapped his bonds and he stood up straight. “We did not come here to defeat you.” He levitated his hologram journal and a burst of magic shot out to the Pillar on his left, striking Flash Magnus’ shield and then continuing to the next hero. It made a connection with each of the Pillars’ tokens before completing the hexagon. As the beam worked itself around, the tendrils of smoke retreated back to their owner .

“What are you doing?” demanded the shadow pony.

The sorcerer repeated, “As I said, we did not come here to defeat you. We came to contain you!”

The magic aura within the cordon that had been formed grew stronger and brighter, making us squint. Then all the participants rose up into the air as the spell reached its crescendo and the Pony of Shadows howled. Then there was an explosion and they were all gone, their tokens falling to the ground and the magic that displayed them dissipated. Star Swirl’s journal snapped shut and an eerie quiet settled around us as we all stood there stunned by the display.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. “Well, Twi, I think we’ve learned what happened to the Pillars. Now what?”

Back at Twilight’s castle, we began discussing the events at Ponehenge.

Sunburst said, “The sheer power of the spell that banished the Pony of Shadows left an impression on the structure that was triggered by Star Swirl’s journal.”

“So, what happened to the Pillars?” Rarity asked. “Wasn’t the goal to get rid of that awful demon?”

Twilight’s ears were flattened and her eyes downcast as she replied morosely, “Isn’t it obvious? Star Swirl and the others sacrificed themselves to save Equestria.”

“That was one of the most incredible feats of magic that I’ve ever seen,” enthused Starlight, oblivious to Twilight’s depressed mood.

“I agree,” Sunburst said. “It’ll probably take years to figure out how Star Swirl did it.”

Twilight perked up. “Maybe if I can recreate the spell—”

I cut her off. “You’re not going to spend months working on something from ancient history. You have responsibilities, Princess Twilight. Trixie and I aren’t going to cover for you indefinitely.”

The alicorn cringed a little. “You’re right, of course.”

I nodded. “If you aren’t at Day Court tomorrow, Starlight and I will be back to drag you there – no excuses this time.”

She waved a hoof in capitulation. “Fine, fine. I’ll be there.”

I turned to Penny and Starlight. “Let’s go. I have a wife to placate.”

Twilight barely lasted the week out. She had the morning session of Day Court that Friday, and the moment that it was done, she shot out of the throne room with all the decorum of a six-year-old filly fleeing the scene of a misdemeanor. She didn’t even pause for lunch. When Trixie, Starlight, and I arrived at Twilight’s castle that evening, Spike informed us that she was holed up in the library with Moondancer. I poked my nose in there briefly, observed the piles of books surrounding the mares as well as the plate of uneaten food that Spike must have provided, and concluded that it was pointless to try to talk with her right then. However, this was her free time and I had no cause for complaint. One other did though.

“Mama was supposed to tell me a story before bed!” whined Nyx.

“Can’t daddy Thorax do it instead? Your mom’s a little busy right now,” I said, unimpressed with Twilight’s neglect of her daughter.

“He’s at his hive this weekend.”

Drat. Bad timing. “How about if Auntie Trixie and I tell you one instead?”

“Oh. Okay.”

I had no trouble convincing Trixie to help out. She was getting very maternal lately – not that she needed much of an excuse to tell one of her over-the-top tales. I usually ended up acting out some scenes with the help of a little magic. Way more than we needed to do, I admit, but good practice for when we had a foal of our own.

Because my other friends had already found Twilight preoccupied even before my wife and I had arrived in Ponyville, there was no long evening gathering as we often had. Only Rarity joined us for dinner and both she and we decided to make an early night of it.

I wish that I could say that I was surprised to find that Twilight was still in the library the next morning. The only things that had changed were the number of books piled up, a half-eaten bowl of oats sitting on one of the piles, and Moondancer passed out in one of the chairs.

“Trixie thinks Twilight is going to be a barrel of laughs this weekend.”

“We could always kidnap her and take her to the spa with us,” I suggested.

My wife gave me a flat look. “Do you truly think that will make a difference?”

I sighed. She had a point. You could take the Book Princess away from her library but you couldn’t turn off her brain. She would probably keep worrying at the problem even while submerged in the bubbling waters, only to teleport away when something occurred to her. On its own, that might not be so bad, but she was just as likely to take half the water with her. Don’t laugh – she’s done it before. Aloe and Lotus have a special extra charge to refill the tub just for her.

We found Nyx despondently toying with her oatmeal. Looked like she knew what her mother was doing too. As I was in my pegacorn form now, I decided to go into full “Auntie” mode.

“Good morning, Nyx.”

“Mornin’,” she murmured.

“Is something bothering you?”

The alicorn filly pouted. “Mom promised to play with me today, but she’s too busy.”

“I see.” I looked at Trixie and she seemed to read my mind. She nodded and I smiled back before returning my attention to Nyx. “How about you, me, and Rainbow Dash go visit Cloudsdale instead?” I expected Rainbow to be here this morning. Hopefully, there would not be any last moment Wonderbolt stuff holding her up.

Nyx brightened. “Really?”

“Yep,” I replied with a grin.

“Oboy! When can we go?”

“Well, neither of us have had our breakfasts yet,” I pointed out.

Nyx picked up her bowl and spoon and started to shovel the food into her mouth as quickly as she could. Table manners were definitely an area where she took after her mother.

I chuckled. “Take it easy. Spike hasn’t even brought out mine yet. Besides, we’re both going to need plenty of fuel to have fun today, right?”

She nodded at breath-taking speed.

Thankfully, Dash arrived just as I was finishing my repast. As always, she was eager to start our aerial antics. However, I said, “Change of plans, Rainbow. We have a special filly to entertain today.”

“Huh? Whaddya mean, Mark?”

“You and I are going to take Nyx to the fair at Cloudsdale.”

“But that’s mostly foal stuff!” she objected.

“And Nyx is a foal whose mother is too busy to take her herself,” I replied with a pointed look.

Fortunately, Dash took the hint.

“Oh, right. Okay, this could be fun.”

Rainbow warmed up to the idea eventually. I helped stoke her enthusiasm by challenging her. While Nyx had wings of her own, she had no hope of keeping up with us, so one of us had to carry her. I bet Rainbow that she couldn’t carry the filly and still beat me in a race to Cloudsdale. Sucker! Of course, I couldn’t really consider myself the winner, though, as Nyx let out a long, happy scream – thrilled at the breakneck speed we travelled. Didn’t that mare ever have to stop to breathe?

We ended up spending more time at the fair than I originally thought we would. The three of us actually had a lot of fun. I had to revert to stallion form to fit on the rides, but it had the side benefit of not attracting as much unwanted attention as my Celestial form. We ate the usual amount of junk food (too much, of course!) and played many of the games. Nyx won a plush doll of Princess Trixie, of all things! Maybe they’ll have a Prince Mark one next time. I’m not envious – really!

The alicorn filly was exhausted by the time we got back to Twilight’s castle. Her mother was still busy, but Nyx just conked out immediately. After tucking her into bed, I went down to join my wife. Our friends had gathered for dinner, so Dash and I related how we spent the day with Nyx, and Trixie told us about her day with Rarity. Pinkie tried to get Twilight to join us but I doubt that she even heard her friend. Then we had to cheer Pinkie up. I was going to have to have words with the alicorn once this current bout of monomania was over.

The next morning, Trixie and I spent the day in town. There was a new play that had just begun at the Ponyville Theater that we decided to attend. That was followed by lunch at Cloverleaf Café. Then we headed back to the castle. When we got there, we were met by a very concerned young dragon.

“Where’ve you been?” Spike asked.

“Why? What’s happened?” I said, instantly concerned.

“Twilight burst into the map room where Big Mac and I were setting up for the Ogres and Oubliettes game this evening, shouting, ‘I've figured it out!’ ”

“Figured what out?”

“She said that she thinks she understands Star Swirl’s spell that banished everypony.”

“Oh. Maybe now she’ll calm down and get back to her other responsibilities.”

“No, you don’t understand. She told me to gather all our friends. She says she intends to release Star Swirl and the Pillars from limbo.”

I stared at Spike in growing dread. “Please tell me she figured out how to do that without releasing the Pony of Shadows too.”

Spike just shook his head.

“Horse-apples!” I galloped to the daggerscale portal room, Trixie and Spike hot on my heels. I was brought up short when Twilight emerged, followed by Sunburst, Starlight, and the rest of the Element Bearers. For a moment, I thought disaster had been averted, but then more ponies followed the others. Six ponies whom I’d only seen illustrated in books. Ponies with very grave expressions on their faces. The bearded wizard looked around before rolling his eyes.

“So, this is what passes for a royal palace nowadays,” Star Swirl said disdainfully. “I suppose it befits children who play with magic they don’t understand.”

Twilight cringed.

I said, “Tell me you didn’t set the Pony of Shadows free.”

Applejack replied, “Sorry, Mark, but we have ourselves a mighty big problem.”

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Chrysalis art by Batonya12561.
Full size picture at https://www.deviantart.com/batonya12561/art/Chrysalis-commission-812761498

Chapter 68 - A Clash of Lightning

I regained consciousness with a groan and took a moment to gather my wits. Apparently, I had screwed up and let one of the invaders get the drop on me while I was focused on the Storm King. I had to wonder why I was still alive though. I had been high enough to die from a fall, so somepony or something must have caught me. Aside from a hell of a headache and dizziness, the rest of me felt in reasonable working order. I pried my eyes open, confirming that I was still in Celestial form upon seeing my white forelegs stretched out in front of me. The second thing that I saw was the cage that I had been put in. Now that I thought about it, I could feel more metal bars pressing up against my rear and left side. Not much room in here.

Lifting my head, I blearily looked around and saw my wife’s concerned expression.

“Thank Celestia, you’re alright, Dowser. Trixie was worried about that nasty gash on your head.”

“Alright is relative, Lulu. My skull feels like it’s splitting. Where are we?” I noticed the bars behind Trixie and when I turned my head, I confirmed that we were in a cage – one that was sitting in the throne room for some reason.

My wife gave me a lopsided smile. “Where else should a prince and princess be found?”

“I gather they captured you here? Why didn’t you get away?”

“Trixie had to save her castle staff first. Then one of those brutish thugs grabbed me before I could execute my teleport. Trixie was thrown into this cage where she languished until they threw you in here too.”

“So, why haven’t you tried to escape?” I asked as I dizzily struggled back onto my hooves. I had noticed that Trixie didn’t have a nullifier on her horn, and I could sense that they hadn’t put one on me either.

“Magic-proof cage. Spells wither and die on contact.”

I tentatively reached out with my magic to grasp one of the bars, only to feel it fizzle out. The same happened when I tried to levitate a piece of chalk that lay on the floor outside the cage. Nothing was stopping me from creating a spell, but with these bars surrounding us, it was like I was in a magic Faraday cage. Looking around the room, I spotted Twilight Sparkle. She was still encased in that stony shell and I wondered why they had brought her here. I sincerely hoped she was still alive. What was more puzzling, however, was the presence of the statues of Luna and Celestia. Was the Storm King collecting alicorn figures? Crap. Were Trixie and I fated to add to his trophies? To add insult to injury, banners showing the Storm King’s twin lightning bolt symbol stretched from the floor to ceiling, covering up some of the stained glass windows.

Just then, the doors to the room opened and Tempest Shadow walked in accompanied by the short and almost round creature that had announced her. He had a huge slice of cake in his hand and much evidence of more around his mouth.

Tempest looked at us disdainfully as she approached the cage. “I see you’re awake. Not that it matters. You’ll serve my lord in any case.”

“And why is a pony serving the Storm King anyway?” I snarled despite the throb of pain it gave me.

“A promise was made in exchange for the loyalty that I did not get from ponies, Princess. I need your magic to fulfil that promise.”

“You need it? I don’t recall you ever being in our court requesting it, and if you had, I don’t think Princess Twilight would have denied you if your need was great.”

“Oh, I need far more than a token gesture, and you princesses would never consent to that.” She scowled and the stump of her horn sizzled and crackled with undirected mana. She pushed her face close to mine and said, “Did you think you five could keep it all to yourselves? Time to share that power, and then I will show everypony what I can truly do.”

I stared at her in disbelief – she obviously thought I was an alicorn and that Celestia and Luna were more than just statues. Didn’t she get the memo? I was about to disabuse her of her misconceptions when a new voice joined the conversation.

“Ooh, fascinating! What can you really do?”

I turned to the throne room’s entrance to see silhouetted there the yeti that I had tried and failed to bring down – the Storm King.

The rotund sidekick replied, “Your bidding, of courth, Your Mighty One.”

The Storm King looked thoughtful as he approached us, waving a staff. The wood was a dark purple color and the top held a light blue crystal jammed between the only two twisting branches. He was closely followed by the elderly yeti whom I recognized as his ambassador. “Why, thank you, Grubber. Bidding's good. I like bidding! Um, what are you supposed to be?” he asked, glaring down at Trixie.

“You are addressing the Great and Powerful Princess Trixie!” she replied imperiously.

The Storm King laughed. “Oh. That's nice.” He looked over to Tempest and his expression was replaced by a scowl. “Why are these two still moving?”

Tempest replied, “They were both unconscious, so it was simpler to throw them in a magic-proof cage. They won't be a problem. In fact, now that I have supplied five alicorns rather than the four I promised, the results should be even greater.”

Well, that confirmed it – neither of them had heard that I was only a pegacorn and the Royal Sisters had gone missing years ago. I suppose if you focus your efforts on invading countries, you don’t have much time for the local gossip. Still, I wondered why the ambassador hadn’t made things clear. Thank the heavens Cadance had avoided the conflict. Some of the evacuation portals led to the Crystal Empire, so she may have made it home to coordinate the return of the Crystal Pony armed forces. She might yet be our secret weapon.

The Storm King’s eyes narrowed and he turned to Tempest. “Report!”

She glanced at me, obviously uncomfortable with talking about the progress of the invasion with the two of us present. Rather than voice an objection, she started. “The wards protecting the mirror portal and spatial portal rooms in the castle have been breached. The chambers were found to be empty. The castle grounds are under our control, though pony soldiers will occasionally emerge from areas that have previously been searched. The size of the Storm Beasts is preventing them from effectively searching every room.”

The yeti rolled his eyes. “Have them widen the door frame a little. I don’t care if the entire floor above lands on them. Next.”

After a brief hesitation, the unicorn continued. “The large dragon is dead and the yaks have been subdued. Troops have captured a hundred or so civilians and around seventy pony soldiers. Their injured are being taken away by pegasi and griffons before our forces can reach them. Also, the ponies have developed a new tactic. A hole will open up under our soldiers causing them to fall in. By the time reinforcements get down to the bottom of the pit, our troops have been subdued and carried off through tunnels that the ponies collapse behind them.”

The Storm King rapped his staff against the floor. “Rate of loss?”

“A few dozen every hour, my liege.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Trivial. Is that all?”

Tempest’s ears wilted a bit. Apparently, she had left the worst news for the end. “The last of our flying mechanoids was destroyed so the ponies have aerial superiority. They launched some sort of everlasting-fire liquid in the area of our grounded airships. Mixed in with it were inferno salamanders. About a quarter of Canterlot is on fire and despite the best efforts of the crews, the last of our airships was abandoned just minutes ago.”

“Good, good.” The yeti laughed. “Now my troops will have no choice but to continue to press forward.” He raised a fist and shook it. “‘Victory or Death!’ and all that, don’t you know.”

His commander stood open-mouthed, apparently unsure what to say.

The Storm King smirked. “Don’t think that good news excuses your poor performance. Canterlot should be conquered by now, but what did you deliver? Half my airships and a third of my army wiped out in the opening minutes of the invasion! Instead of cowering ponies and thousands of slaves, I get squads of well-trained soldiers resisting my authority. I’ve had to fortify this castle with most of my troops to hold it for now. What do you have to say for yourself, Commander?”

Tempest frowned in the direction of the ambassador. “The intelligence that I was given was woefully inadequate. With forewarning, all of these obstacles—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get that,” the Storm King waved his hand dismissively. “So, speaking of problems, this place, it seems a little too – oh, I don't know – cute! I don't like cute! I never did like cute! Doesn't really go with my whole ‘big bad powerful magic guy’ thing, does it?! Deliver the punchline, Tempest, because this has gotta be a joke!”

“We’re ready to take their magic, sire. Then you can redecorate at will,” Tempest pointed out.

The yeti smiled cruelly. “Yes. Me and the Staff of Sacanas have big ideas.” He slammed its base down onto the floor.

Only then did I notice the four-pointed petal pattern on top of a circle that had been inscribed on the castle’s marble tiles. As the magic from the staff spread outwards, previously invisible runes glowed on the surface of each line. Trixie and I were at one of the points, Twilight at a second, and the statues of Celestia and Luna had been placed at the remaining two. The staff sat in the middle of the pattern and shafts of magic streamed into it from each point. The otherwise magic-proof cage must have been keyed to rune spells because I immediately started to weaken. I could feel my magic being drained, much as Tirek had done. When Trixie moaned and leaned against me for support, I knew that it was also happening to her. The statues of Celestia and Luna started to glow on the lines connecting all the crystal facets. The same was happening to Twilight’s petrified form.

The spell ended and I staggered as I reverted to my pegasus self, bereft of the magic that sustained my alter ego. The Storm King apparently did not notice as he was currently gloating over his ill-gotten power. Tempest did, however, and her eyes widened in surprise.

The Storm King laughed as he waved his staff which fairly throbbed with the power stolen from one alicorn, a pegacorn, and a unicorn. “Oh, wow! Check out the light show!”

He was like a little kid with a new toy, one that he had stolen from another child.

“Let’s get this storm started! Ooh, hey, that’s good. I should trademark that.” He giggled, then leveled his staff and started blasting power around indiscriminately. One of the thrones was destroyed, decorations were obliterated, windows smashed, and holes opened in the walls both to the outside and internally. Trixie and I had to fend off some flying debris, as did the others in the room.

“Not bad,” the Storm King opined. “Actually, kind of first-rate. Now let’s see if this pony magic is all it’s cracked up to be.”

Tempest spoke up with a hint of urgency in her voice. “Your Excellency – you promised to restore my horn and give me—”

The Storm King waved his free hand. “Tut, tut, tut. Hang on a moment. Gotta give this thing a real workout first.”

Tempest replied, “Work it on me! I did everything that you asked of me and I deserve my reward.”

The warlord glared at Tempest and then started chuckling. He patted her condescendingly on the head and said, “Yes, you did, like a good little patsy. And now that I have what I wanted, I don’t need you anymore.”

Tempest stared dumbfounded as he turned and strode out onto the balcony.

“Ooh! Burn!” said Grubber.

We watched as the Storm King aimed his empowered weapon at the sun. The blue crystal glowed and the heavenly orb sluggishly moved toward the horizon. The Storm King turned back towards the throne room and tapped the staff with a finger a few times. He frowned and narrowed his eyes before again facing outside. His arms shook as he appeared to concentrate harder. Slowly, he pushed the sun below the horizon before dragging a reluctant moon into view. Abruptly, they both reversed direction and the sun rapidly returned to its rightful place in the sky despite the yeti’s efforts. Something was opposing the power of the staff, and I had to presume that it was the Guild of Mages and Cadance who were safely holed up elsewhere.

The Storm King rounded on his ambassador. “You told me the power of the alicorns would be mine! The power of Celestia and Luna is not here!”

“But it is, sire! I heard it from the lips of the Princess Trixie herself. Your suspicions were proven correctly when she revealed that, indeed, she petrified the former rulers by crystal.”

I shook my head. “That’s not true. Celestia and Luna were lost.”

The ancient yeti turned to me with a sneer. “Were you there to see this thing? Or did you believe the lies told because you are a fool?”

I closed my mouth and frowned. There was no point in arguing with him. He just didn’t make any sense.

Trixie said. “It is you who lie. Trixie told you no such thing.”

The ambassador came up close to our cage and gave us that familiar, condescending smile. “Ah, but pony princess caught herself in falsehoods. Kreesach is clever enough to understand when you told him truth. Did you not say, ‘The centerpieces will be the rock forms of Celestia and Luna’?”

Trixie and I looked at each other blankly. Then we stared at the ambassador with the same expression.

He sighed as if addressing a small foal. “Your exact words said, ‘My dearest Kreesach, the centerpieces will be the forms of Celestia and Luna in rock, sugar.’”

Both of us turned to each other and said, “Ohhhhh!”

Trixie spoke up. “Don’t you know what ‘rock sugar’ is?”

The old yeti tilted his head and his smile did not look quite so self-assured.

I said, “It’s another term for ‘rock candy’.”

Grubber waddled up to the statue of Celestia and gave it a lick. “She’s right!”

The Storm King strode back into the throne room, stopping when he was again in the center of the petal design on the floor. He scratched his chin and let out a long “hmmm…” Frankly, he seemed to be taking the news rather well. He set the bottom of the staff on the floor and leaned on the top. “But why in the name of me would you have sugar crystal statues made of your former rulers?”

Trixie shook off the last of her weakness caused by the draining of her magic. She stood proud and beaming. Here we go.

“Trixie knows what her little ponies need. They need to look fearlessly to the future! No longer shall Equestria be shackled to its past. A new set of rulers will lead our ponies into a glorious tomorrow!” She thrust a hoof upwards and looked up as if seeing something far away. “At the conclusion of the festival, all the foals and chicks will be called to the center stage where the statues of Equestria’s past will wait for them. The little tykes will all receive wooden mallets with Trixie’s cutie mark on one face and Twilight Sparkle’s on the other.”

Her demeanor softened and she looked back to me with a hint of apology in her eyes. “I would have made the handles your color green, but the order deadline was approaching and the Entertainment Budget was stretched as it was.”

I honestly did not know whether to feel offended or not.

Trixie’s jubilant smile returned and she yelled to the heavens. “As the sun sets on the Festival of Friendship, so would the chains binding our country to its past! With every cathartic blow from the next generation of Equestrians, the way forward would be forged! The past would lay scattered, broken and ultimately consumed, leaving nothing but the glory of tomorrow to greet us! Hail Equestria!”

Her impassioned speech was not met with answering cries. Grubber took the opportunity to back away further from the caged mare, perhaps concerned about her being contagious. I did, however, see Tempest Shadow’s gobsmacked look, occasionally punctuated with a twitching eyelid. If Twilight hadn’t already been petrified, I’d imagine she might have been by that speech.

Not knowing what else to do, I said to everyone, “Don’t look at me – Twilight was the one who put Trixie in charge of the entertainment.” Trixie punched me in the shoulder.

The Storm King quickly leveled his staff at the Ambassador and a beam shot out, blasting him across the room and off the balcony. The yeti warlord returned to his earlier pose, leaning on the staff, his face calm and contemplative. “Yes indeed. Makes perfect sense.”

“You may as well give up,” I said. “You haven’t got enough power to overcome all the Equestrian forces and those of our allies.”

“Who are you anyway,” the yeti asked, drawing closer and narrowing his eyes. “And what happened to the alicorn that was just here? Is this another of your stupid pony tricks?”

“That stupid pony trick is my pegacorn alternate form which I used to battle you. I’m no alicorn.”

The Storm King smirked. “A cute little stallion becomes a battle mare – kinky!” He walked away, tapping the staff in his outstretched palm. “Ah well— the time for playing games is over. I mean, why should I just let ponies whittle down my forces to nothing?” He turned to grin at Trixie and me. “Do you see a reason why? I don’t see a reason why.”

He clenched his jaw, baring his teeth. “Enough with being Mister Nice Yeti. Time to change things up. Yes. I think killing all of the slaves and prisoners will be a good start. If ponies won’t be cowed by my troops, the peace and friendship-loving herbivores will be by my tactics.”

I heard Trixie gasp next to me and saw Tempest take a step backward, her eyes wide and ears flat on her head.

The Storm King froze in place and his grin returned. “Speaking of which, who better to start with than…” He pointed his staff at Twilight and the crystal started to glow. I didn’t have any more time.

“Coward!” I spat. “Exactly what I would expect from a so-called Storm King. Can’t stand on his own so he hides behind his troops and kills the helpless. Our intelligence described you as pathetic, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.”

I felt Trixie jabbing my side urgently but chose to ignore it.

The Storm King smiled like I had just given him the best gift in the world. He lifted the staff until it was upright. “Did you actually think you could goad me into releasing you? So your cute little pony self can die challenging me? No, I think I would rather you watch and suffer as your friends all die.”

I snorted. “What you want doesn’t matter anymore, does it? You’ve already sealed your fate. You and your empire will go down in defeat.” I smirked. “Your footnote in history will be that you let ‘cute little ponies’ kill you.”

The yeti tilted his head back and laughed. I had a hunch what would come next and I steeled myself.

My wife took advantage of the distraction to hiss in my ear. “Are you trying to get all three of us killed, Aardvark Smells?”

“Stay behind me, Trixie,” I said quietly. “Trust me.”

The Storm King brought his head down and gave me a cold-blooded smile. “Pity. You would have made a good slave.” He lowered his staff and pointed it at me.

“What are you going to do?” I scoffed. “Magic can’t get past these bars, idiot!”

The Storm King giggled insanely. “You forget who I am, cute little pony. And you forget that I hate cute!”

A lightning blast shot out and struck me in the sternum. I cried out as if in pain, although I was relieved to note that my special talent still worked. The lightning stung a lot, as usual, but I was not incapacitated at all. Here’s hoping my acting was good though.

I ground out, “Just because I’m not a pegacorn anymore, doesn’t mean I won’t beat your ass when I get out of this cage!”

“Big talk from a dead pony,” the Storm King replied, pummeling me with an even bigger bolt.

I yelled and staggered but, in fact, I began to feel invigorated. I narrowed my eyes and growled at the yeti, “I’m a weather pony. Not… not going to t-take m-me out s-so easily.”

The Storm King smiled toothily at that. “Good. Slow deaths are more fun.” Then he blasted me with a series of bolts.

I screamed and collapsed. Trixie grasped me with both hooves, wailing in distress. “Hsst! Get back, Lulu,” I whispered. “I’m okay. I really do have a plan.”

She looked up at the Storm King whose grin grew and I knew he was going for a twofer. I sprang up just as he fired the next lightning bolt and I blocked it from hitting my wife. I absorbed its power, just as I had done with the others. When I could feel that I had reached my maximum potential, I slammed my forehooves onto one of the bars – one at ground level and the other at head height. Then I released the electrical energy into a massive short-circuit that literally blew the portion of the bar between my hooves into plasma. Fortunately, I had closed my eyes first, protecting them from the blinding flash. More than a few molten blobs of metal bounced off of me, but I didn’t have time to check if I had been burned. Before anyone in the room could react, I dived through the gap that had been left and charged at the Storm King, shifting to my long-maned Marklestia form.

I propelled myself forward with quick beats of my wings, closing the distance to the Storm King. The sparring lessons with Crimson Boulder and Penumbra forced me time and time again to quickly come up with a plan when faced with a new opponent or unfamiliar weapon. When I first saw the yeti warlord standing on the balcony of one of his airships, I tried to get close enough to crush him with my one-shot collapsing shield. Now with the Staff of Sacanas charged with the magic of an alicorn, that was no longer an option. All the power of Twilight Sparkle focused on the point of the crystal could easily break my shield, which would leave me without any magic. I had to knock the staff away from him somehow.

The laughing yeti started his swing, the air crackling and ionizing in the wake of the glowing crystal. The Storm King took a step back just as I dodged over where the staff would have been. That gave him time to adjust. Before I reached him, it felt like a baseball bat swatted me in the side. I bounced off the ground, rolled, and took flight once more. Looking past my opponent, I saw Penumbra speed across the room from the balcony, passing well behind the Storm King. She dropped out of the air and swung at Tempest Shadow with her sword. The unicorn’s horn flashed, knocking the blade from my bodyguard’s grasp. The thestral herself didn’t stop, plowing into the other mare. The two were trading blows with their hooves as they rolled out of my line of sight.

The Storm King spun the Staff of Sacanas then leveled it at me, his lips pulled into a sneer. He shot a crackling bolt of white lightning that I disrupted with a compressed ball of magic. Filaments of charge scattered in all directions, impacting the floor and walls. With the lightning dispersed, I could get close enough to try severing the crystal from the staff. Before I could even shift my weight forward, the yeti grinned wider as the beam shifted into a blast of magic that pushed my shield aside, narrowly missing my head. I juked to the side, gaining altitude to avoid the broad shaft of lavender magic that erupted from the crystal. The next beam cut in front of me and stayed there, forcing me to back-wing to a halt. Gravity took over and I plummeted to the floor. Scrambling to the side, I tried to avoid the next blast while I raised a shield that might deflect most of the magic. Might. I looked directly down the shaft into the yeti’s eyes and I fought the urge to run away to any kind of safety.

The Storm King tilted his head then brought the staff up vertically and bounced the end on the floor. The shockwave that tore across the room caught me by surprise. The stones under me rippled like an ocean wave and knocked me off my hooves. When I struggled to stand upright, I heard the yeti say, “No. I don’t think so. I mean, where’s the sport in that?” When I looked up, he smiled and started walking briskly my way. “I’d rather tear you apart with my own hands, little pony.”

I pretended to have trouble getting my footing and stumbled backward weakly. This wasn’t hard to make convincing considering my breaths came out in ragged gasps. I couldn’t afford to think about why because I needed to concentrate on using the Changeling Stone in my crown to transform my right forehoof while keeping it tucked out of sight.

During my training, a long-armed minotaur with a spear drilled into me the lesson to never stay in the range of the business end of the weapon for any length of time. So I didn’t. As the yeti pivoted his hips to swing at me, I leaped forward and rolled. The shaft bounced off my rump, but unlike the glowing crystal, did no damage. I uncurled and jabbed my right foreleg upwards, now ending in a manticore’s stinger. I felt it dig into his arm for just a moment before the yeti spun away with a scream.

I didn’t realize I was at exactly the wrong distance until a split-second later when the Storm King completed a full revolution and the crystal end of the staff slammed into my left wing. I heard the bones crunch and all the magic left my appendage. I careened helplessly across the throne room, stopping when I crashed into rubble at the far end. Sparing a quick glance as I righted myself, I saw that frost covered my wing. Maybe that was why I didn’t feel any pain. I couldn’t wonder about that now and brought my eyes back up. At the far end of the room, Tempest Shadow sent a shower of crackling magic at my bodyguard, who countered with a tracking nullstone band that uncoiled as it approached the unicorn. After a dazzling flash, the band split apart, but now Penumbra pressed her advantage on the backpedaling mare.

The Storm King laughed, twirling the Staff of Sacanas with his right arm while his left hung limp at his side. “Oh, what fun! A pony that fights like a tiger!” He jogged toward me, in no particular hurry. “You may not be Celestia, but… mmmm… you’ll do.”

I snarled. Laugh it up, dickhead. One arm down, one to go. Then I’ll squash you like a grape.

Three-quarters of the way to me, the Storm King swung his staff behind him without looking. I saw Dusky Wings spin away and crash through a stained glass window. Somehow, the yeti had sensed the thestral’s approach and knocked him out of the sky while I hadn’t perceived him at all. The Storm King dodged around the empty magic-nullifying cage, dropping to one knee. He pointed the staff directly at my head, the crystal lighting up like a firework display. Rather than dodge, I threw up my force reflecting bubble.

A cacophony of noise and color exploded across my shield and it shattered. I could not ignore the crushing pain this time that reverberated in my skull. Now I couldn’t fly or do magic.

A loud clang rang out in front of me. When the light-show cleared, I saw the Storm King sprawled face-first in front of the magic-nullifying cage, his eyes scrunched closed. His right hand still held the staff tightly.

Now! It had to be now! I skipped forward a few steps, cocking my right forehoof back to my shoulder. When in range, I shoved it into the yeti’s neck, only to realize with horror that it was now just a hoof.

Did I lose my concentration? Did the loss of my magic break the effect? The Storm King’s left hand shot out and grabbed my right foreleg. Any illusion that I had paralyzed his arm died when I felt and heard my bones snap in his grip.

I tried to struggle free, but the yeti lifted me without any effort and slammed me into the ground, then the cage, then the ground again. Each time, the pain from the rest of my body matched the agony of my trapped leg.

The Storm King yanked my head backward roughly and forced me to stare into his face. Blood obscured my vision and I could see two of him. As everything came back into focus, I perceived that the yeti dangled me off the floor at the height of his eyes. He had dropped the staff and pulled my mane back with his other hand. “Time for your story to end, little pony. Any last words?”

I smiled as best I could, coughing blood to clear my throat. “Sure. How about ‘No. I don’t think so.’? ” I shifted to my short-maned form, freeing my head from his grip. At the same time, I pushed what little magic I had recovered into my good wing to pivot my body towards him. By stretching myself out as far as I could, I bucked him in the face. One hoof smashed the bridge of his nose and I felt something give. The other landed directly on his right eye.

My world spun as I felt the floor smash into me followed by a crushing blow to my ribs. Blearily, I realized I had been thrown to the ground and kicked. I tried to stand up, only to have my horribly broken leg collapse under me. After that wave of pain subsided, I shoved myself into a sitting position.

I heard, “Enough.” I looked up to see the yeti’s blurry form approaching. My body went numb. I knew I couldn’t get out of his way in time. I was drawing a blank. I didn’t know any more tricks.

The Storm King’s one remaining eye glared down at me. As he pulled the Staff of Sacanas back over his head with both hands, I saw it spark with Twilight’s lavender magic. “Trust me when I say this ends now.”

I heard Twilight’s voice in my head. ‘Trust in Harmony, Mark.’

I gasped. That was it!

I raised my left forehoof. The yeti smiled, apparently pleased by my pitiful attempt to ward off his final blow. When the staff swung downwards at blinding speed, I reached out for it – not the crystal or the staff, but for Twilight’s magic.

The crystal stopped in mid-air, just above my hoof. The Storm King frowned and grunted, trying to push the staff downwards. The purple field pulsed and glowed as it coalesced around my hoof and down my foreleg. I felt the rush of magic clear my head and drive the pain out of my body. The Staff of Sacanas moved only fractionally as the yeti tried to pull it away.

“It’s mine!” he howled. The Storm King snarled and tried to twist the staff free.

My emotions drained away leaving a feeling of tranquility. I willed my magic to straighten and splint my broken wing and foreleg. I pulsed my will through the emerald in my crown. My left forehoof transformed into an alabaster-white but very human-shaped hand. I grasped one of the wood spires that twisted around the crystal saying, “It never was.”

The Storm King looked at my hand and his good eye opened wide. I used a technique Rainbow Dash showed me to flap a gale-level gust of wind at the Storm King. His grip failed him and he spun away.

I rose into the air, transforming my other hoof into a hand to better grasp the Staff of Sacanas, which now felt as much a part of me as my wings.

I gathered the magic into myself then my horn. The Storm King had already recovered and pulled a hilt from his waist with his right hand. As he brought his arm up, a curved blade flashed into existence that appeared to be made of fire. I easily blocked the blow with a shield and threw my constricting bubble around the yeti as I back-winged.

The Storm King charged, striking the bubble shield with the pommel of his sword. It rippled and broke apart as I saw the familiar gray sheen of nullstone on the bottom of the hilt. I felt a momentary shock from my shield breaking, but the magic still flowed through me this time. The yeti continued his charge, the sword hissing through the air as it bore down from my left.

Something in my training told me to dodge down to the floor and to that same side even as I threw up a new rectangular shield to stop his blow. My right shoulder exploded in pain and scorching heat ran across my withers. My right wing was somewhere in the middle of the fire. Fear once again gripped me and I could feel my heart pounding.

Without thinking, I called on the ground itself to throw up a wall in front of me. The Storm King’s second sword yanked free of my side as spikes of rock thrust him upwards. A wave of dizziness and weakness swept over me and I tottered for a moment. Dimly, I perceived the yeti jump backward and run around the spires of rock.

I tried to shift the staff to put it between us but it got caught in the stone columns in front of me. Just as the Storm King got within striking distance, I heard a wet smacking sound and my opponent rocked back onto his heels as a large chunk of rubble fell at his feet.

Dozens of stones bounced off of the yeti’s head in quick succession, each covered in one of two shades of blue magic. He ducked and glared at me with a snarl, only to have a party cannon full of confetti explode into his face. As he stumbled backward, a rainbow-colored streak hit him square in the jaw, a lasso tightened around one horn and dragged him backward, and a pink blur drove into his knee from behind. Starlight and Rarity surged up to my sides and their magic shoved his shoulders away from me.

The Storm King toppled onto his back with a roar, only to have Thorax spit large green globs of resin onto his hands, gluing them to the floor.

I gathered myself again, trying to ignore the fatigue for just a bit longer. With a magic field, I immobilized the yeti and his swords, making sure not to cover the nullstone at the bottom of each hilt. I rushed over and jumped to land on his chest, shifting the staff to my right hand as I transformed my left.

He looked up at me, pure hate in his eye. “You and your—”

I didn’t stop to listen. Instead, I shoved the manticore stinger that was my left forehoof directly into his neck and held it there. After a few seconds of ignoring his angered cry, I felt no more venom left to give. I leaped off of the yeti and motioned everypony to fall back.

With a tremendous heave, the Storm King shattered one of the masses of changeling resin and hammered the base of his sword into my shield, again causing it to break and dissipate into nothing. After a couple of attempts ruined by his aim failing him, the yeti slammed the hilt of his sword into the other resin ball, freeing his other hand. He staggered to his feet, his back hunched over. Shivers racked his body.

Slowly, he turned and started to shamble towards us, his smile showing all his fangs. “Ahhhh. The Elements of Harmony. Well… most of them… and a couple of stand-ins.”

The Storm King’s mind was still sharp, but his body betrayed him. The yeti’s left hand dropped its sword and the blade blinked out of existence as soon as it slipped free. My friends surrounded me, three on each side. We moved backward as one unit.

“Do you know what’s so funny, little pony?” The yeti lurched to the side and barely kept his balance. “I will not be killing you right away.” The sword in his right hand fell. The hilt bounced on the marble floor with a loud clatter. “Instead, you get to watch your friends die.” He fell to his knees but continued to crawl forward. “All of them.”

The Magic of Harmony in the staff united me with all my friends. I knew all our hooves moved in lockstep as we kept our distance. In my head, I could feel the attention and purpose of all of us— unflinching and everlasting.

The Storm King pitched forward to land on his chin. His manic smile only grew wider as his eyes glazed over. “And just so you know, I will… take my… time… to…”

At last, his eyes rolled up into his sockets and he exhaled.

I sank to the floor with an exhausted sigh. The connection to my allies dissipated and the ache of my body started to take over. Thank heavens we finally beat him because I didn’t think I had any gas left in the tank.

Rarity cautiously approached the fallen yeti, her horn alight to respond if he made any sudden movements, but the Storm King didn’t stir.

“Did you… kill him?” Rarity asked.

I had to cough for a few seconds and the blinding pain made me firmly decide not to do that again. After some shallow breaths, I said, “I don’t think so. I used manticore venom which paralyses rather than kills. Still, this is novel magic for me.”

Starlight came over to examine my injuries. “The cuts you’ve received are nasty, though the one on your right wing and shoulder is cauterized. Broken left wing, I see. Your foreleg too?”

I nodded. “I’ve been splinting them with my magic.” I coughed and winced. “I think my ribs may be cracked as well.”

“Keep your splints in place until I tell you to drop them. That will make the job of the bone-mending spell more effective. Hold still.”

Her horn lit up and her magic glow surrounded the breaks. Then sharp and intense pain stabbed me – much worse than my earlier coughing fit. “Ffffuuuu—” After what felt like forever, it stopped. I panted for a bit then glared at her. “What in Tartarus did you do?”

Starlight gave me a lopsided grin. “Sorry. The spell for fixing broken bones is very effective but is also kind of painful. Best to get them all over with at once. You’re welcome.”

My advisor obviously got her bedside manner from her Friendship Studies tutor. “You could have warned me!”

“Tensing up only makes it take longer. You’re a big mare, so suck it up. You can dispel your splints and use the limbs normally now.”

I took a few deep breaths. So far, so good. After taking her suggestion and dissipating my splints, I tried extending my left wing and the grating of broken bone was absent. The gouges in my flesh were another story though. “What about my wounds?”

“I’m not a doctor – I suggest you have somepony look at them soon. Don’t switch back to your normal self yet because it might complicate your healing. Injured flesh doesn’t respond well to transformation magic.”

“Okay,” I replied as Trixie came over to help me back onto my hooves. She was disheveled but looked otherwise intact, for which I was eternally grateful. One of her wings had been knocked askew and I straightened it out for her. Then we kissed.

“What do ya want us to do with him?” Applejack asked, pointing at the Storm King.

“Have him hauled off to the dungeon for now until we can deal with him properly. Have plenty of guards watching him.”

“Hello? We don’t have plenty of guards right now,” Rainbow Dash replied. “The fighting is still going on out there.”

She had a point. Now that I listened for it, I could hear the sounds of battle coming from outside.

“Trixie will command the fighting to stop,” my wife said, moving toward the damaged balcony.

“They won’t listen to you,” came an unwelcome voice.

I turned to see Tempest Shadow’s face looking up at me from the floor. Penny had one armored hoof holding her head down and I could see a suppressor ring locked onto the stump of her horn. As far as I was concerned, the Storm King’s Commander didn’t pose a threat anymore. I motioned to Penumbra to let the unicorn mare stand up, which earned me a tight-lipped frown but no backtalk. My bodyguard stayed within striking distance, however.

I said, “The Storm King is defeated and your invasion has failed. Your troops must surrender now before there are more casualties.”

“I agree, but they won’t listen to you. They will to me though as I am their Commander.”

“Why should we trust you?”

“The Storm King betrayed me. My very reason for serving him was a lie. I am no longer your enemy.”

Penny said, “You sure put up one heck of a battle for somepony who isn’t my enemy!”

Tempest sneered at her. “You attacked me while I stood by watching those two fight.”

Penny frowned. “Perhaps if you had been helping Prince Mark instead of just watching, I might not have jumped to that conclusion. And what’s this about being betrayed anyway?”

I said, “Stormy here promised to repair Tempest’s horn in exchange for her service. He was only playing her for a sucker though.”

Penny stared at Tempest in contempt. “You believed that lunatic? What kind of idiot are you?”

“A desperate one,” the mare replied sullenly.

Trixie said, “That does not excuse what you have done and you will have to answer for your crimes.”

Tempest replied, “I cannot be arrested as a criminal – I am the head of the Storm King’s army and as such am entitled to be treated as a prisoner of war.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

I said, “She’s correct, unfortunately. Different laws apply.” I turned to the defiant mare and fixed her with a hard stare. “What do you want, Tempest?”

“A full pardon and my horn healed.”

Everyone present muttered angrily. Thorax cleared his throat and motioned towards his wife. I nodded, letting him know I had not forgotten.

“You don’t want much, do you?” Trixie said dryly.

I snorted in grim amusement. “A pardon would require the unanimous agreement of all three Triarchs, but one of them is currently petrified.”

“The Staff of Sacanas can undo that spell,” Tempest replied. “There was always the chance that we would need to unpetrify someone to interrogate them.”

I looked at the staff where I had left it on the floor. It still contained Twilight’s power so I reckoned that Tempest might be right. I lifted it up in my magic to bring it into my grasp, aimed it at the alicorn, and applied my will to the task. The vertices of the stone prison glowed then broke apart, leaving behind an otherwise unharmed mare.

Twilight blinked, looked around, and gasped. “What happened?!”

Everypony tried talking at once. That stopped when Thorax swept in and started kissing his wife. Twilight gamely tried to get some space or at least a word in edgewise, but without her magic or earth pony strength, she didn’t stand a chance. After a bit, she stopped fighting it and returned her husband’s affection.

After a minute or so that was awkward for everypony else, the couple finished with their private words and embraces. Only then was Twilight allowed enough room to try again. “So… what happened?”

Again, everypony tried talking at the same time.

“QUIET!” I yelled. In the sudden silence, I said, “Short version – You were petrified. The Storm King invaded Canterlot with Tempest Shadow commanding his army in return for his promise to heal her horn. The Storm King stole our magic with the Staff of Sacanas. Tempest was betrayed and the Storm King has been defeated. Tempest wants amnesty in exchange for commanding her troops to stop fighting. We need the unanimous agreement of all three triarchs to grant that amnesty. I recommend that we do so.”

“What?!” exclaimed both Trixie and Twilight.

“Aside from preventing any more deaths or injuries, we have to look at the big picture. With the Storm King out of the equation, what do you think will happen to the lands that he conquered? In the absence of the authoritarian dictator, a power vacuum will occur and the next most ambitious candidate will try to take his place. They could end up being even worse than the Storm King. I’m all too familiar with that happening back where I came from. Tempest has made demands of us, but we can impose conditions in return. She can use her authority to not only stop the battle here and now but also temporarily take the reins of leadership in the conquered lands subject to our authority. That way, we can prevent civil wars and maintain peaceful rule. Later, we can work on restoring rightful self-governance for the countries and cities that the Storm King conquered. If they so choose, they can join the Commonwealth of Equestria.” I turned to Tempest again. “In return for our amnesty, you must swear allegiance to the Crown of Equestria.”

“And my horn?” she asked.

“If anything can be done, it will.”

“In that case, I am willing to swear my allegiance.”

“Why should we trust her?” Rainbow demanded.

Knowing what appealed to her most, I replied, “Because she was utterly loyal until she was betrayed. Even though what she was doing was wrong, Tempest remained steadfast because she swore an oath to the Storm King’s service. She is released from that oath because he did not fulfil his side of the bargain. We will keep ours. Besides, she can swear her loyalty to the Crown in front of Applejack and Thorax. If the Avatar of Honesty and Twilight’s husband both confirm that she’s telling the truth, then she will be granted amnesty. Agreed?”

Tempest nodded. I turned to my wife.

“Trixie doesn’t like it but she concedes to your logic.”

Twilight looked glum but nodded also. “I still want to talk to Tempest as I first offered, but it’s more important to stop the fighting right now. I agree.” But first…” She held out a forehoof. “… may I have my magic back, please?”

My ears folded back on my skull. “Uhhh… sorry, Twilight. Kind of forgot about that.” I pointed the business end of the staff towards her. “Let me see if I can figure out…”

The purple alicorn shook her head and walked closer. “And risk you giving me back all of my magic in one unintentional blast? Let me have that, Mark.”

I passed the staff over to Twilight and allowed my hands to revert back to the hooves I now considered more natural. Twilight closed her eyes and spread her wings wide. Her mane and tail began to wave in a wind that came out of nowhere. A lavender nimbus surrounded her and she floated upwards. The most remarkable part was her smile. It was… angelic. I heard Tempest gasp and I smiled to myself. There was a reason why some ponies revered alicorns as godlike creatures, and the unicorn mare had a front-row seat to a very convincing example in favor of that view.

After several seconds, the wind died out and Twilight opened her eyes. They glowed white for a moment before the effect faded, showing her purple irises. The restored alicorn settled to the ground, looked down at her barrel, and patted it affectionately. She had obviously checked on the foal inside her and it was still healthy and whole.

Twilight pointed the Staff at Trixie and a nearly identical spectacle took place as my wife’s magic returned. If anypony noticed that she opened her wings a bit late and that the glow surrounding her was much less than it was for her co-ruler, they had the grace not to mention it.

After Trixie once again alighted on the ground, Twilight shifted the staff to inside the crook of one foreleg as she looked up and nodded to our newest ally. “You’re up, Tempest.”

Penny stepped back from the maroon mare and Tempest approached me, Trixie, and Twilight. Applejack and Thorax joined us as Tempest bowed her head.

“I, Tempest Shadow, hereby renounce any and all allegiance to the Storm King and swear my complete and utter loyalty to the Crown of Equestria.”

I looked at Applejack who had a puzzled look on her face. “Is something wrong, Applejack?”

“Her oath's right fine, but there's still somthin' cattywumpus 'bout how she said it.”

Thorax blinked a couple of times and nodded his head. “I… I think that’s right. It’s something not directly related to the oath she has made, but still important to her.”

I turned my stern gaze back to the Commander. “The whole truth, Tempest, or the deal is off.”

She actually started blushing. “Umm… my birth name is Fizzlepop Berrytwist.”

I barely stifled a snort of laughter. Rainbow Dash didn’t have that problem and fell out of the air, holding her stomach and guffawing for all of us. When she got her chortles under control, the pegasus mare said, “Well, now I guess we know why you are so angry all the time.”

Okay, that was an unexpected twist. “Satisfied now, Applejack?”

“Yup,” she replied with a grin.

I looked at my co-rulers and it seemed that little piece of information had alleviated the tense atmosphere. “Are we in accord with accepting her oath?”

“I am,” Twilight replied.

“Trixie agrees,” my wife said.

“The Crown of Equestria accepts your oath of allegiance. You are hereby granted a Royal Pardon for all crimes committed in Equestrian territory up until and including today. The Triarchy names you Commander of our foreign forces. Your first order is to halt all the fighting in Canterlot and gather up the invading troops.”

“As you command, my liege. Will you join me on the balcony?”

I inclined my head towards Trixie. “My wife will accompany you.”

Tempest asked, “You defeated the Storm King in combat with only a bit of help at the end. Yet you want to pass the credit on to somepony else? You seem to lead the Triarchy. Why do you want Princess Trixie to make the announcement?”

I replied, “First of all, we are a Triarchy. No pony is more important than the other two.” I saw Trixie purse her lips and glance away as if to suppress an objection, then she looked me in the eyes with a wry smile. Yeah, she fooled me again.

I grinned back to my wife then faced Tempest. “I tend to ask the hard questions but my wife is the face of our partnership. Our talents complement each other.”

“And through such actions, ponies tend to underestimate you, don’t they, Your Highness?” Grudging admiration colored her voice.

I just smiled in return.

Trixie and Tempest headed for the balcony, my wife levitating the defeated warlord in her magic to give proof to her words. I listened as Trixie used the usual voice amplification spell to announce our victory over the Storm King and Tempest commanded the cessation of hostilities. I lost track of what followed because the adrenaline that had been keeping me going wore off completely. I started feeling every ache and pain incurred during my fight.

“Ow,” I said with a groan.

“Oh, you poor dear,” Rarity said solicitously.

She gave me a comforting hug but that only exacerbated some of my injuries. “OW.”

“Let me see those wounds,” Twilight said.

I carefully extended my right wing and the outer two-thirds dangled freely. Of course, that also made it hurt much worse. “Ow, ow ow!”

“Can’t you say anything except ‘ow’, Mark?” Rainbow Dash asked with a snicker.

“Yes, but it would consist of ninety percent swear words.”

“I’ll find a doctor for you,” Rarity offered.

Twilight, who finished examining me, said, “No, I have a better idea. Just hold on for a minute – I need to fetch something from the labs.” She disappeared in a flash of teleportation.

Seconds later, she returned bearing a large jar and a bottle. She opened the latter and poured some of the contents onto a clean cloth that she had also brought with her.

“Before I do anything else, first I have to clean the wounds or the healing process might not work as effectively. I’m afraid this is going to sting a bit.”

Twilight is a damn liar. That hurt like hell!

As she continued to torture me, she explained, “While we have had healing spells and potions for quite a while, none have been a hundred percent effective and all of them are painfully slow.” Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Uh… no pun intended.”

She nodded to her husband. “However, Thorax’s hive also has its healing methods and I’ve discovered that they are complementary to ours. The fluid inside of a changeling pod can sustain ponies for years and heal many injuries without scarring. This jar contains the result of our joint research into a new treatment. Basically, it’s love-infused healing gel combined with our cell-growth potion that will repair skin, nerves, muscle, blood vessels, and even bone. The compound is exponentially more effective than either of our treatments alone. However, because of the rapid regrowth, foreign material can interfere with and even deform the healing areas, which is why I need to clean out your wounds and remove dead tissue first. Otherwise, for example, your wing might not heal properly and you’d never be able to fly again.” She had moved on from my shoulder to my wing by this time.

Through gritted teeth, I said, “Perhaps next you can work on a way to numb the wounds before exacerbating the pain.”

“That’s an excellent idea,” she replied obliviously.

She finally got to the part where she started slathering the gel on my injuries. At least it had a soothing coolness to it. I sighed in relief. “So – you’re saying this will repair all the damage?”

“Yes,” Twilight replied. While she talked, a cylinder of her magic surrounded the area on my wing where the bone had been cut. When she was satisfied the splint was stable and was holding the gel where it needed to be contained, she continued. “Or it should. It’s still in the clinical testing phase. The first batch has only very recently been completed and we didn’t exactly have many candidates to test it on.”

“Oh, great. Now I’m a guinea pig again.”

The alicorn smiled enthusiastically. “Yes, and just think about the service that you’ll be doing for Our Little Ponies. And all the mandatory follow-up testing and checkups that will need to be done for the sake of Science!”

I groaned. I almost thought I would have preferred healing the slow way.

With the major wounds slathered and dressed, Twilight then applied the remainder of the healing gel to every other minor cut and bruise including a slash on my cheek. The bilious green gel clashed horribly with my coat color.

“I think that’s enough, Twilight. Save some for other victims,” I said.

“Oh. I did say that this was the first batch, didn’t I?”

I facehoofed. It never ceased to amaze me how Twilight could be such a genius one moment and missing the obvious the next. “Okay, we’ll have to deal with the injured the usual way.” By now, Tempest and Trixie had returned from the balcony. I faced our new Commander and said, “You will have to instruct your troops to find their injured and bring them to where they can be treated. Twilight – I’m guessing that medical staff were evacuated too when the fighting began. Prioritize getting them back and arranging triage for the wounded. Rainbow Dash – I need you to pass on the word to the Equestrian forces to assist and coordinate these efforts.”

“On it!” Dash declared and left in a rainbow streak.

“I’ll start that right away,” Twilight replied before teleporting.

“As you command, Your Highness,” Tempest said. “But first, could you please command your guard to remove this nullifier?”

“I wouldn’t recommend that,” Penumbra said.

Tempest gave the bat-pony a disdainful look before turning back to me. “We are either working together to prevent the Storm King’s empire from imploding or we are not. Make up your minds.”

“Do it, Penny,” I ordered.

She grumbled as she unlocked the horn ring, watching the unicorn carefully. The stump sparked but otherwise, nothing happened.

Tempest bowed and said, “By your leave.” She turned and trotted out of the throne room.

“That there is one strange mare,” Applejack declared.

“Agreed,” I replied, “but I think I trust her. When we get a chance, we’ll have to learn a bit more about her and how she broke her horn. Meanwhile, we have lots to do. Could you go make sure Shining Armor and Derpy are safe so that I can unpetrify them? I didn’t want to mention Shining in front of Twilight in case she freaked out about his condition. We’ll be down in the main square soon to set up a command post.”

“Sure can, sugah.”

As she turned to leave, I added, “And look out for other potential victims. I don’t know if Tempest used any more of those petrifying balls.”

“Mark, darling – have a look at your injuries,” Rarity said.

I brought my right wing forward to observe the wound. My eyebrows rose as I could literally see new flesh growing and sealing up the gouge in the wing. The pain had virtually disappeared too. Then a fresh batch of feathers started sprouting and covering the healed skin. In next to no time, the wing was as good as new. I couldn’t even tell that it was ever injured. I felt the flesh on my shoulder and withers knit itself together – a bizarre sensation that would have made my skin crawl if it already didn’t feel exactly like that. Exploring the area with a forehoof confirmed that I was as good as new. As those were the worst of my injuries, it came as little surprise to me that the others had also finished healing. I was bone-weary but otherwise, I seemed totally healthy once more. My alabaster coat was unblemished and the pain was completely gone. Well… not exactly unblemished. I probably looked like something out of a horror film. “Rarity, would you mind casting your cleaning spell on me?”

“I was just about to suggest that, darling.”

The fashionista's horn lit up and I felt her magic tickle me from the top of my head down to my hooves. Looking myself over I saw the blood, dirt, and grime were now gone.

I sighed with relief and took a moment to dispel the splint on my wing. “Twilight didn’t say so, but I’m pretty sure it’s safe for me to turn back to my normal self once more.”

Nobody disagreed, so I willed the change to my stallion body.

Trixie giggled and I looked at her pointedly. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, Trixie just thinks that you should stop playing with alicorn power so much.”

“Why is that?”

She picked up a piece of rubble with her magic and tossed it to me. “Catch!”

I caught it in my magic and it hovered in front of my face. Wait! My magic? The stone was surrounded by my familiar golden yellow aura matched by the same glow from just above my eyes. I dropped the marble shard and reached up with my hoof to rap the horn on my head to ensure that I wasn’t imagining things. I winced at the twinge of pain that doing so normally caused. It was real.

“Are you an alicorn now?” Rarity asked. “Can you use earth pony magic?”

I focused my awareness on my hooves. I tried to sense the feeling that I had experienced the one time that Discord had transformed me into alicorn Twilight, but I felt nothing. Likewise, the affinity with the ground I felt during the fight with the Storm King was absent. “Nope. I’m not an alicorn. I’m a pegacorn in this form too.”

“Hah! Told ya! Now, pay up!” Starlight thrust a hoof towards my bodyguard.

Penny returned an icy glare. “Forgive me for not being the kind of mare who carries spare change into battle.”

I said, “Wait. You two were betting on me turning into an alicorn?”

The pink unicorn smirked. “No. I bet that the next time you were caught up in crazy Harmony stuff, you would not become an alicorn. You’re just not the type, and obviously, Harmony agrees with me.” She turned back to my bodyguard. “So, like I said. Pay up!”

Penumbra waved a hoof. “I will! I will! Don’t get your horseshoes in a jumble.”

I tried to tell myself I didn’t want to know, but the words came out of my mouth anyway. “How much? How much was the bet?”

Penumbra gave me her toothiest smile. “Ten thou… no. A hundred thou… no… One bit.”

My eyes opened wide. “One bit?”

Starlight shrugged. “Hey. It was the principle of the thing.” I was pretty sure I should feel insulted, but I didn’t know exactly why.

As Trixie walked up to me, she chuckled. “It seems that you lack the commitment to go full alicorn, Trademark Harebells.”

Penny studied my new appendage and snorted. “Anything is preferable to you sporting those fangs.”

I wondered if the Changeling Stone interacting with alicorn magic had anything to do with my new horn.

“You make a better match for the Great and Powerful Trixie now,” my wife said with a coy smile.

Without her trademark cape but still wearing her prosthetic wings, she and I did indeed make a good match.

“In the meantime, Trixie needs to find her crown.” She narrowed her eyes and scanned the floor.

Pinkie Pie called out, “I’ll help!”

My wife said, “Thank you, my little pony,” without looking up.

The pink earth pony snuck along the ground with her nose sniffing furiously just like a bloodhound. That’s when I noticed the platinum tiara sitting on her poufy mane.

Well, I was sure they would figure out where it was eventually.

Just then, a glowing ring appeared in midair, expanding to reveal a portal to elsewhere. Discord slithered through, closely followed by Fluttershy. With the sound of a squeaky door closing, the portal disappeared behind them.

“Ooh! I do like what you’ve done to the place!” Discord enthused. “If I had known that the festival was going to be this kind of party, I would have come sooner.”

I frowned. “Where were you during the invasion? We really could have used your help.”

“What invasion? May I remind you that Fluttershy and I intended to join you all about now for dinner before the evening concert? We had… other plans for earlier.”

“Other plans?” I asked. When Discord didn’t elaborate, I switched my gaze to Fluttershy.

“Umm… well… because most ponies would be going to the festival, I knew it would be very quiet for the weekend. It gave me time to do… something special without interruption.”

“Oh? What was that?”

Fluttershy didn’t respond, but she did start blushing.

“Are you okay, Flutters?”

She blushed even more.

Wait. Uninterrupted, private time. With Discord. I looked at the draconequus and he smiled and waggled his eyebrows. Well, that explained not only his absence but also why he was so distracted that he never noticed the abundance of chaos in Canterlot.

“Okay – moving right along!” I said hastily. “Discord, could you at least do something about fixing this place up a bit? I think that everypony would be upset to see what a wreck the throne room is right now.”

“Everyone’s an architectural design critic,” grumbled the chimera. He snapped his fingers and the castle was intact again. The décor, however…

“I don’t remember you being involved in the defeat of Tirek,” I said as I looked at one of the restored stained glass windows.

“And I don’t think you are the seventh Element of Harmony,” Penny opined as she looked at another.

“Those gargoyles clash horribly with their pink tutus, darling,” Rarity offered.

“And aren’t gargoyles supposed to be on the outside of a castle?” asked Starlight.

Pinkie Pie said, “Now Mark’s throne doubles as a cotton candy machine! Verrrrrrrry classy!”

“Trixie is rather impressed by the fountain on the ceiling though.”

“You’re welcome,” Discord replied. “Now, I think I’ll go see what other repairs need to be made.” In a flash, he was gone.

Fluttershy gave us an apologetic smile. “He means well.”

“Not a problem, Flutters,” I said. “Anypony who asks for help from the Lord of Chaos should know what comes along with it. I know I did. Besides, we were thinking of remodeling the throne room anyway. The current design dates back to the days when Celestia ruled alone.”

A unicorn and two earth pony Royal Guards entered just then and saluted.

“Your Highnesses – Lady Applejack informed us that we were needed here,” one said.

“Good timing,” I replied. “Haul the Storm King to the dungeon and put him in our biggest and strongest cell. Have all of his armor removed – I have no idea how many weapons and nasty tricks it hides. I want one of you to organize a dozen guards to keep watch over him although I don’t expect him to regain consciousness for quite a while. Make sure that guards are replaced as they get relieved. I want him monitored at all times.”

“I will attend to it, Your Highness,” Corporal Slingshot replied with a salute.

“You two will return to the throne room. If anypony comes here seeking us, you will redirect them to the main square where we’ll set up a command post.”

“It will be done, Your Highness.”

There came a sudden cracking noise behind me. Worried that something hadn’t been fixed properly and was breaking again, I whirled around. Spotting the source, I facehoofed. Grubber was holding the broken leg of the rock candy Luna and was munching away on it. The statue had been in the way of some of the fighting as evidenced by the neck and one wing already in pieces… or maybe the little creature was a stress eater?

“What? Isn’t anybody else hungry?” he asked when we all stared at him.

Come to think of it, I was starving after all my efforts and I was sure there was plenty of festival food that had been left untouched. I picked up the Staff of Sacanas from where Twilight had left it and said, “Okay, everypony – let’s get that command post set up and check out the current situation for ourselves.” I added under my breath, “Preferably starting with the concession stands.”

Judging by the way Penny snickered, I think her keen ears had caught my muttering. “What about him?” she asked, looking back to where Grubber was gnawing on a hoof.

“The Guards can take him along also.” As Grubber’s face fell, I added, “And give him the rest of the Luna statue to tide him over until mealtime.”

I’ve never seen a happier prisoner of war.

# # # # # # #

Author's Note

Real wars have casualties. While Mark and his friends have won the battle, they now have much to do to heal Canterlot's wounds, and some will never recover. However, the Storm King lives to suffer the consequences of his actions, but does such a mad creature care?

Art by Foxenawolf and Skyeypony.

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Chapter 83 - The Greatest Showmare

I fought hard not to slip into unconsciousness.

“You won’t be needing this,” I heard Cozy say through my daze. I felt her magic lift the crown off my head, taking with it my emergency spells. She then threw me and the unconscious form of Penumbra into a cage against the wall of the chamber.

I groaned and tried to sit up as the door slammed shut. A heavy lock surrounded by a red glow levitated onto the door latch and closed with a loud click. Cozy had decent control of her unicorn magic. How long had she been preparing for this day? I looked up to see the mare’s smirking face. “Cozy, why are you doing this?”

She laughed. “For the same reason that I do everything, my dear prince – for the power.”

“But the school… your friends…?”

“Oh, don’t start trying to guilt-trip me. They were all just stepping-stones towards my true goal. Friendship is a fancy way of saying you have power over others. And here we have a school dedicated to cultivating and spreading that power, run by, surprise, the Princess of Friendship who also happens to be the Alicorn of Magic.” She patted the bell around her neck. “With just one added factor, I had everything I needed for my ambition of ruling Equestria.” She pointed the bell up at her face and the bell absorbed the magic from her in one, elongated ring. The diminutive pegasus gave me the same humorless smile when she looked up again. That proved to me this was not a case of possession like with Nightmare Moon.

“By stealing all magic?”

Cozy smiled nastily. “Who says it will be all?” As I tried to respond to that, she held up a hoof. “No, I’m not explaining it. Figure it out for yourself, clever prince. I’m not monologuing for your benefit; I have better things to do.”

And just like that, she flew off, leaving me in the dark. Why couldn’t she have been a cliché villain who loved to explain every detail of their insidious plans? Where did she get that bell? How did she make that magic-sucking sphere?

I had to think. The cage was familiar to me – standard unicorn containment model. If I was full of magic I could blast one of the bars apart as I had to the Storm King’s cage but, of course, almost all my reserves had already been sucked out by the bell. I looked around for a ley line to recharge my unicorn magic. Only when I squinted did I find one. It was so insubstantial that I had missed it on my first scan of the room. I linked to the ley line and could feel only a slight trickle of mana flow into me. Doubtless, the sphere drained my magic almost as fast as I could gather it. The bars were probably too strong for me to buck even in my Celestial form but as I didn’t have enough power to make the change, I couldn’t put that idea to the test.

“You must help them.”

I looked up to see a rather glittery Twilight Sparkle standing outside the cage. “Twilight? When did…” This mare looked dead on her hooves and her facial expression was doing a poor job of hiding the pain. I also remembered what Gallus told me about his friends’ previous trip under the school. “You’re the Avatar of Harmony.”

“I am, Prince Mark Wells.”

“Is there anything that you can do to get Starlight, Gallus, and his friends out of that magic bubble?”

The avatar smiled sadly. “Rescuing the students is beyond my present power, but I can give you what you need to free them.” The apparition began to fade away, the wisps flowing toward the sphere in the center of the chamber. “It is their friendship that will save Equestria.” And it was gone.

I pondered what the avatar had meant and looked down at the ground so I could concentrate. That’s when I noticed something unusual. Squinting, I could see pulsing ribbons of magic flowing through the floor towards the circle in the middle of the chamber. That was new—I had not seen that earlier.

I carefully reached out a foreleg between the bars of the cage, trying to feel what I was seeing. When my hoof touched the ground, my head shot up and wings spread wide. Magic flowed into me. A lot of magic. Before, I could never feel where magic pooled throughout my body, just how it flowed out my horn and wings as I used it. Now I felt every part of me soak up the energy and I changed into Marklestia without willing it. My body almost felt swollen as I put my forehooves on the top and bottom of the nearest bar. I closed my eyes and released all my stored electrical energy into the bar… nothing. I reset my hooves onto a second bar and kept my eyes open this time. I could only make a small blue spark.

I blinked. What happened? I still felt bloated with… well… magic, power, and strength. Could it be?

My eyes settled on the lock holding the door closed. Repositioning myself, I gave the latch my strongest double-buck.

The lock flew off who knows where while the warped door smashed open with a bang. I was starting to get the picture now. I dragged Penny out of the cage and placed her further up the corridor… or should I fly her to the surface and out of danger? I didn’t need a second to imagine her reaction to my putting her safety above that of all of Equestria. Still, I needed reinforcements. I spread my wings and felt exactly zero flight magic go through my feathers.

Wonderful. Nothing but temporary use of earth pony magic that I didn’t know how to use.

Cozy Glow flew into the room, becoming an alicorn again with a blast from the bell around her neck. She quickly spotted the busted cage and me nearby. OK, decision made. On second thought, there was one trick I knew instinctively how to work with earth pony magic. I ran forward and willed a ramp of crystal to lift me to Cozy’s position. She gasped as I galloped closer, then her horn lit and I felt a powerful force shove me towards the sphere at the center of the room. As I toppled into space, I imagined my lone hoof on the ramp being glued there. With a painful yank, I held on. Pulling with my other limbs, I had all four hooves on the crystal again, only to see the cage flying at me at high speed, giving me no time to do anything but flinch.

With a loud clang, the bars hit me. Fortunately, the far side of the ramp took some of the impact. My shoulder was on fire, but to my surprise, it didn’t feel broken or dislocated. I looked forward, seeing Cozy Glow’s mocking smile as she circled the cage back around. “Hah! You could never—”

No, I didn’t want to go through that again. Glancing to my right, I willed an enormous column of crystal to shoot up below the cage and crush it to the roof of the cavern. What I got was a thin column of crystal that shattered, only slowing it down. Quickly, I created a second spire and that stopped the cage which whirled in place. The spinning stopped as I willed the column to be thicker.

That’s when all the training sessions with Crimson galvanized me into action. I lifted a much thicker wall of clear crystal in front of me barely in time to stop whatever blast came from my opponent. As she charged her horn again, I tried to impale her with sharp spikes from above and below. Cozy let out a scream and teleported three feet to the right.

What? She could teleport!? Any unicorn could make an unfocused magic blast, but this… How could a pegasus know how to… the bell around her neck! That just made my life that much harder. I had to even the odds.

I willed a hole in the wall and charged towards the front of the ramp, generating another spike from above and below. I was starting to build a plan.

Cozy obliterated the top spire with a blast from her horn before teleporting three feet to the right just before the bottom spike reached her. The faux alicorn then threw up a shield around herself.

I glued my back hooves on the front face of the ramp and made a spire of crystal to shoot me across the room horizontally. At the same time, I willed a dozen spikes from both above and below the mare’s position. Perhaps because I was closer, the crystal floor and ceiling responded faster.

Her shield only held for a second before it shattered. I reached out my forelegs…

… wrapping them around the mare right after she teleported in front of me. I had enough unicorn magic to cast a temporal static spell to keep her from teleporting away while I pulled my forelegs as close as I could. That would help protect them from the impact when we hit the wall.

We didn’t. Instead, we rocketed up a side passage I had inadvertently aimed for. A sharp burning sensation along my back and one thigh let me know Cozy had recovered. The pain also made me lose my concentration and the two of us were in freefall.

I twisted to shift Cozy in my grip, wrapping my rear legs around her. I reached a foreleg under her chin and wrenched backward, hard. Penny and our pegasus instructors taught Twilight and me how to fight in the air, including while falling. I got in the right mindset after only a week of bloody noses and twisted joints. My co-ruler needed two months of getting pummeled to learn enough technique and focus to defend herself in the air. Twilight was no longer afraid to use her superior strength to its full effect, to the extent that I could no longer safely spar with her.

Cozy’s scream shifted an octave up when we hit the wall and spiraled across the ground. Her chin slipped away from my grasp but I clung with my other legs. Everything hurt on my back by the time we tumbled to a stop with her pinned on top of me. I used my free leg to lock her head to the side, keeping her horn pointed away. I drew in the power flowing into me from the crystal floor to regain my strength.

The next moment I heard a familiar sound and she was gone. I felt a kick in my stomach. Looking up, the pint-sized pegasus mare soared into the air, changing back into alicorn form with a second blast from the bell around her neck. Cozy had a dozen bloody scrapes on her body but mine no doubt looked the same. I scrambled onto my hooves as she zapped me with her bell. Again, I felt famished as the magic drained away, only for it to refill almost instantly when Cozy’s beam stopped. I demonstrated this by tearing a crystal off the wall and bucking it towards her head. She dodged easily and looked directly above me. She sent a blast of magic into the wall which exploded with a hundred pieces of crystal falling everywhere, doubtless attempting to bury me.

Boy, was that dumb.

I placed a hoof on the wall and willed a shelf of crystal to protect me and redirect the pieces at Cozy Glow. She responded with a powerful pulse of magic that caused all of the loose crystal shards to turn to water. After they pooled on the ground, another pulse changed them back, trapping me to my knees. Crap. She’d figured out at least one transformation magic spell. Worse, my mobility was limited. I was stuck next to the wall and under a low shelf until I could get my legs free, which would take a couple of seconds I didn’t have. Through the shelf, I could see the glow of the alicorn’s horn; she had decided not to gloat and give me those seconds. A single shot from her horn burned through the crystal and struck me on the head, dazing me. All I could do was lean out of the way while looking up, trying to force the crystal to refill the hole.

A rainbow-colored streak caught Cozy Glow right in the face, followed by a light blue bolt from a galloping Rarity. I pulled the crystal shelf back into the wall as I willed the floor to push my legs to the surface, even though my dizziness left me on my knees. I saw Applejack break a large crystal off the far wall and buck it toward Cozy Glow. The Captain of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire, dropped Trixie next to me and chased after the running fight. It took me a second to realize my doppelganger must have taken that form so Cozy didn’t see two of me and come to the obvious conclusion.

My wife knelt to give me a quick kiss and her cocky smile. “Trixie still can time the perfect dramatic entrance. Go, Dowser. Go save Equestria while Trixie and her undercard, the Elements of Harmony, keep this stage-crasher busy.”

I said, “Cozy can use her magic like an experienced alicorn. Don’t know how. She absorbs the magic of others with her bell and uses it to power herself. Be careful.” I insisted on a bit longer kiss before Crimson Boulder clopped me on the shoulder and Trixie galloped off.

“Are you okay, Your Highness?”

I found myself hauled onto my hooves by my earth pony bodyguard. I wobbled unsteadily for a moment trying to regain my bearings as I took in the scene before me. Trixie had arrived in the company of her squad of Royal Guards, disguised changeling and otherwise, obviously brought here by Crimson who knew where I was headed. They had turned up just in time to save my ass but that did not mean that we were out of trouble. All of the ponies were being affected by the magic drain and the changelings…

“Crimson – the changeling Guards have got to retreat! This close to the sphere, they’re going to lose their magic very quickly and die!”

The big earth pony frowned and shook his head. “Not going to happen, Mark. They have their duty and if that means risking their lives, then that’s exactly what they’ll do. Best thing we can do to help them is putting a stop to this thing that’s draining all the magic.”

Good idea but I was paralyzed by concern for my wife. Rather than just let the Royal Guards do all the fighting, Trixie was harassing Cozy to great effect with her stage magic which didn’t require mana to power it. I saw a smoke bomb hide the path of an earth pony guard followed by an egg exploding in midair, sending out streamers that fouled one of Cozy’s wings.

“Mark. Mark! We can’t just stand here.”

I tore my eyes away from the battle. “You’re right. Come on.” I led Crimson to the rune-inscribed circle and desperately looked for some way to disable it.

Crimson said, “I can feel it draining my magic reserves.”

“Follow my lead and pull more from the ground where it is flowing into the sphere.”

“That’s what I have been doing – wait! That’s an earth pony ability. How are you—”

“Not the time! I only have access to earth pony magic right now. Maybe if we remove the artifacts…” I reached for the nearest – a helmet of some kind, but the sphere of energy surrounding it zapped me hard and I flinched back, nursing a painful hoof. I tried my horn out of desperation but it fizzled, of course.

“Let me try with my shield,” Crimson said. He hurled it at the artifact but it just bounced off the sphere without having any effect. After deftly catching it, he tried pushing the shield through the globe of energy surrounding the helmet, anchoring himself to the floor with his magic. For his efforts, not only did he not penetrate the sphere but the force protecting the artifact conducted up the shield and zapped him hard. Crimson dropped the shield and blinked in shock while I smelled burnt hair.

I scowled. “The artifacts are too well protected. Without knowing the key or some other magical way of dealing with them, we’re stuck.” I looked up at the larger globe that held Starlight Glimmer and the six students. I saw Gallus looking desperately back. I knew that he was counting on me, his foster parent, to get him and his friends out of this, and damned if I was going to let him down. With some trepidation, I reached toward the larger sphere. As soon as my hoof passed over the outermost ring of the glowing circle on the floor, a bright blue clawed hand comprised entirely of magic reached out from the bubble, grabbing my hoof. I pulled with newfound earth pony strength and broke away. The ghostly arm swiftly retreated into the sphere.

I heard a roar of pain behind that could have only come from Cozy Glow but had to ignore it. I had to concentrate.

The sphere above us was almost as wide as the enchanting circle. What would happen when it reached the same size? I blinked. Wrong question.

Crimson yelped as I willed a crystal column to carry the two of us to the height of the center of the sphere. I still wasn’t quite close enough to reach the globe, even if I stretched out. I’d only need a moment.

I leaned and jumped off the column getting a hoof into the sphere. I back-winged like my life depended on it but they were ineffectual and my hoof kept sinking inexorably into the magic prison.

“Oh, no you don’t!” bellowed Crimson as he grabbed me around the hind legs and hauled me back.

I looked at him, an idea forming in my head. “Did you feel it tugging you in?” I asked.

“No, but I saw it doing that to you.”

“So, touching me while I was in contact with the sphere didn’t affect you. You anchored yourself to the floor?”

“Correct.” He frowned. “Are you thinking of doing something stupid?”

“Yep,” I replied with a grim smile. “We’re going to put earth pony strength to the test. I’ll try to haul the captives out while you stop me from being pulled in.”

“It took a lot of power to pull you back. How are you going to pull them out?”

“I’ll just have to draw on your magic, I suppose.”

He stared at me for a moment then shook his head. “Later. Let’s do this. Get up onto my withers.”

I did as he instructed. He reached up with one foreleg and put a fetlock over my rear hoof. It wouldn’t do much to physically hold me down but I could feel his magic virtually gluing me into place in a technique used in battle to securely hold onto weapons and shields. Crimson leaned forward and I stretched out, getting one hoof about six inches into the sphere. Once again, I could feel it trying to pull me in but this time I did not budge. Gallus’ eyes widened and he stretched out his foreleg, wrapping his talons around my hoof. I then heaved back. There was huge resistance but I drew on my new earth pony talent. I felt Crimson’s body jolt in surprise as he sensed the tremendous flow of mana through him and into me as I pulled the young griffon free.

I released Gallus as soon as he was clear of the circle and he fluttered to the floor. “Whew! Thanks! I thought I was going to be stuck there forever. Can you get the others out too?”

“That’s the idea,” I replied, putting words into action.

In quick order, all six of the teenagers were extracted. Getting Starlight out was harder. She floated in the center of the sphere and furthest from the edge. She swam back and forth in the ether to build up some momentum, swinging further and further from the center. Looking into her eyes, I could see her exhaustion, possibly feeling drained from all the time she had been in there. Even reaching for me seemed to be a huge effort but, at last, our hooves touched. My magic bonded it to mine and I hauled her back like the others. Rather than have one of the students fly her to the ground, I shrunk the column until Crimson, Starlight, and myself were once again at floor level. The students with flight hovered to accompany us on the way down, concern etched in their faces. A check with Ocellus confirmed my hunch. Being in the eye of the storm, as it were, they still had a full store of their magic, for now.

Starlight lay weakly on the floor. Spending so long trapped in the sphere without food or water had physically exhausted her. She panted for several long moments before tilting her head to look up at me and Crimson.

“Thank you. Now what?”

What indeed? If none of us could touch the artifacts, how could we disable the mana-draining sphere at the center? Trying to scuff out the runes on the floor only resulted in severe shocks to whoever tried it. Then I recalled something that the Tree avatar had said to me – ‘Their friendship will save Equestria’. Not mine. Not Starlight’s. The students. Six students. I knew something else that came in sixes.

I put an arm around Gallus’ shoulder and looked him in the eyes intently. “Son, how close are you to your friends? Would you do anything for them?” I looked up to see that the others were listening closely to me. “And would they do the same for you?”

Gallus looked over to his friends and they started smiling and nodding. This was painfully familiar. I had seen the exact same expressions on the six Elements at the start of every ‘Pinkie Pie’s Annual Ponyville versus Canterlot Totally Unofficial Hoofball Tournament.’ Even with Penny, Crimson, Steady, and Raven helping Trixie and myself; we got trounced every year. My son looked back to me and confidently replied, “Yes.”

I matched his smile. “Then it’s your turn to save Equestria.”

“But how, Dad?”

“You recall the story of how the Element Bearers came to their power? It should be the same for you six. Reach into your hearts for that bond and the Magic of Friendship can overcome any problem.”

The young griffon faced his friends and they all started to look hopeful.

A resounding crash brought the bright mood to an end and made everyone jump. The running fight had reached the far end of our chamber. From the wreckage of the crystal ramp I had made earlier, ‘Applejack’ climbed out then collapsed. A second later, green fire engulfed her, leaving an unmoving changeling.

“Ha! You’re all fakes!” crowed Cozy Glow, now hovering into view. She was still in alicorn form, but more than a bit smaller.

I turned back to the students. “Figure it out, but the key is the friendship you share.” I looked at Crimson. “Let’s go!”

Our gallop to assist in the battle came to a stop when waves of magic tried to push us back. The gale-strength winds and rippling ground under our hooves also forced us to retreat. Using our earth pony ability to attach to the floor, Crimson and I only skidded a few feet. Glancing further back, the students tumbled hooves over horn towards the back of the cavern. I couldn’t help them right now. Slowly, Crimson and I labored forward, one hoof at a time.

Ahead of us, the ‘Elements’ and Trixie were resisting as best they could. The pony Royal Guards that had accompanied my wife must have already been knocked out of action. Suddenly, Rarity’s shield flickered and winked out. The changeling reverted to its original form and tumbled away in the barrage of magic. Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Fluttershy collapsed seconds later. Spitfire plummeted from the air, changing forms as she fell.

The tidal wave of force pushing against us cut off, causing me to plant my muzzle into the crystal, hard! A grunt to my right let me know the same had happened to Crimson.

I heard Cozy screech, “Ha! Just as I thought, you were all fa… AHHHH!” The last was in response to getting hit by confetti from the one-and-only Pinkie Pie’s party cannon.

As I struggled to my hooves, a large silver ring landed over the alicorn’s head. My wife yanked on the connected string of scarves and Cozy fought for her balance in the air. When she came out of her dive, Trixie threw something upwards. Flashes of light erupted on Cozy’s face and neck, accompanied by loud bangs. The mare flared her wings and climbed to escape, one hoof rubbing her shut eyes. “GAH!”

Cozy lifted my wife along with her, as Trixie had grabbed hold of the scarves. My wife climbed hoof over hoof, three body lengths away… two… one.

With a snap of her wings, our opponent hovered in place. Cozy pointed her horn straight down to blast my wife. Trixie couldn’t hold on and I saw the pain and shock on her muzzle. She turned to face the upcoming crystal floor while throwing a smoke bomb, doubtless to obscure her landing spot.

Cozy laughed and pointed her bell downwards, “No more magic for you, Princess.”

I could just see hints of my wife’s wing feathers through the clearing smoke. I yelled, “Hey! Pick on—”

My protest fell on deaf ears as the familiar green bolt shot out, striking the ground and bouncing back to hit Cozy Glow. It then reversed course, pulling itself back to the bell. Cozy’s wide-open mouth betrayed her confusion. The double blast of magic had pushed the smoke away, revealing only my wife’s wings. It was as if the bell absorbed all the rest of her.

After a second, Cozy gasped and looked down at the bell, fumbling at it. Before she could turn it upwards, Trixie jumped from the nearest rock face, catching the suspended scarves and yanking savagely. The lightweight pegasus lost her grip on the bell and hurtled downwards.

As Crimson and I galloped closer, I could see Pinkie Pie approaching from the other side. If Trixie could just keep Cozy from using the bell for a few more seconds…

The two wrestled on the floor of the cavern, my wife wrapping her legs around the struggling mare. Cozy was only focusing on the bell. After a twist of a foreleg to get it free, the pegasus pointed the bell up at her head. I saw it glow green just as Trixie threw a choke-hold under Cozy’s chin.

One green flash later, I saw a slightly larger version of my wife with wide-open eyes and a very happy grin.

“No!” yelled Cozy Glow.

My wife’s blue magic field threw the pegasus away. Cozy continued to stretch her front hooves toward the bell, now held in one of Trixie’s forehooves. “NO!” Cozy shouted.

I heard a single tapping sound followed by crumbling. Turning my head, I saw Pinkie Pie with a tiny hammer next to a collapsing column of stone. The magic-proof cage fell to the floor, bouncing and rolling before coming to a stop, the twisted door open and facing us. Trixie’s magic threw Cozy inside and Pinkie slapped the cage, making it tumble forward to land on the broken door. Now it was a functional prison again.

Cozy grabbed two of the bars and yelled, “NOOOOOO!”

As interesting as this development was, we still had a job to do. I shouted, “Let’s go!” and ran back towards the students and the sphere.

Behind me, I heard the pegasus mare’s anguished scream, “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

As the four of us galloped back to the rune-filled circle, it disappeared, swallowed up by a dark blue whirlpool. The sphere containing the magic of Equestria floated slowly downwards to whatever realm the portal connected to.

The six friends came together for a group hug and a glow began to surround them. Then they separated and each took on a separate aura in different colors. They moved until each stood in front of a relic and, as one, they reached for them. I slowed to a halt and held my breath in anticipation. I watched as the students’ auras pushed aside the protective shields and they grabbed the artifacts. They wrenched them out of the matrices which flickered and died. The huge ball of magic stopped its descent, shuddered, and exploded. I felt a huge rush of mana pour through me and, judging by the reactions of everyone else, through them as well. The magic of Equestria was returning to where it belonged.

I galloped up to Gallus and embraced him, exclaiming, “You did it! I’m so proud of you and your friends!”

“Thanks, Dad, but could you lay off the mushy stuff in front of… you know?”

I pulled back and grinned at him. “That’s the second time you’ve called me ‘Dad’.”

Gallus blushed and looked away, scratching the back of his head with his talons. “Well, you called me ‘son’ first.”

“Yes, I did, and I meant it. I’m as happy to call you my son as much as Gemini. I want you to know that, while I’m not a griffon, I will try to be the best father for you that I can be.”

“Dad, do me a favor?”

“And what would that be?”

“Don’t try to be a griffon. You’re fine as a pony.”

I chuckled. “You got it, son.”

I headed over to my wife as Penumbra unsteadily joined me. “It’s about time you stopped lying down on the job,” I told her.

Penny gave me a sour look. “I wasn’t just knocked out; that was a stun spell. It took until now to shake it off. Unlike me, you don’t look like you’ve been in a fight.”

I opened my mouth to contradict her when I stopped to look down at myself and my vest. She was right.

I turned back to my batpony friend. “Must have been the Magic of Harmony’s work when all that magic flowed through us.”

“Oh, yes, of course. Most convincing. Do try again.”

I smirked. If Penny was this snarky, that meant she felt better.

“Good thing Trixie stepped up to the plate then,” I said. I stopped just short of my wife and looked her over. She had lost her cape and crown and was looking somewhat disheveled, but otherwise appeared to be fine. She was staring rather mournfully at a wrecked pair of prosthetic wings that she dropped onto the floor next to her. “How do you feel, love?” I asked softly.

“Trixie is tired but fine. During the struggle with that infernal mare, Trixie got a boost of power and easily subdued her. However, Trixie has lost her favorite set of wings.”

“Oh?” I raised a hoof and pointed. “Then what are those?”

She turned around to see where I was indicating, then she flared a larger set of perfect wings in shock. “WHA?! I… I have… real wings?”

I embraced my wife and kissed her. “You’ve earned them, dear.”

“But… how?”

“Probably the same way I got my horn – lots of magic combined with a devotion to the cause of Harmony. Tell me, love, do you feel an affinity for the ground? Can you feel the magic flowing there?”

She looked at me then down, furrowing her brow in concentration. “No. Right after that magic boost, Trixie imagined… but no, not now.”

I nodded. “Well then, congratulations. You are officially Equestria’s newest pegacorn.”

“Trixie just wanted to save you and protect Equestria.”

“Exactly,” I replied. “That’s what we do, darling.”

She giggled. “Then this was truly Trixie’s greatest performance… yet.”

“Five stars from me, dear,” I said, giving her another kiss which she returned enthusiastically.

When we parted, she stood up and then frowned. “Are you taller or has Trixie shrunk?”

Before I answered, I sought and found the connection with the earth magic that I had utilized earlier. I gave her a chagrined look. “I got a visit from the Tree of Harmony. I think I’m an alicorn now.”

My wife laughed. “Trixie knew you would not settle for being just a pegacorn.”

I rolled my eyes. “I was happy being a pegasus with a hobby of being a pegacorn mare occasionally.”

My wife wrapped a wing around me and I enviously realized that she was already handling them better than I did when I first arrived in Equestria. “You don’t fool Trixie – you have always worked for Harmony whether you knew it or not. You can’t help yourself.”

What could I say to that? My wife had me pegged, so might as well roll with it. “That’s why I chose you as my wife.”

She smirked. “The Great and Wise Trixie made sure that you knew who your best choice would be.”

“Indeed she did. Anyway, my Great and Gorgeous Wife, I think we need to get back to business.” I looked around to see Penny impatiently tapping her hoof.

“Oh, the mutual admiration club has adjourned? Goody. What do you want done with Cozy Glow?”

“Put her in the Canterlot dungeon immediately,” Trixie commanded. “We will interrogate her later when normalcy has been re-established.”

“And put a silence spell on her cell,” I added. “One of her greatest talents is her power of persuasion. She had everypony fooled.”

Crimson said, “I thought it was to save the guards from hearing her screaming ‘no’ over and over.” Sure enough, the mare hadn’t stopped, now accompanied by hooves banging the cage incessantly.

Starlight Glimmer joined us now looking a lot better. “What about that bell? She used it to trap me. It’s too dangerous to have lying around.”

I frowned. “Good point. It needs to be put somewhere that is not only very secure but also well-hidden so no one else can find it and try to abuse its power.”

“Perhaps have Twilight deal with it?” she suggested.

I shook my head. “Twilight will want to research it and might accidentally cause more problems. I’ve seen how she and Crispberry do science and frankly, it terrifies me. I saw the “Ultra Cautious Twilight Sparkle” when she ran experiments on me. When she convinces Trixie and me that the careful researcher is back, then we’ll reconsider.”

Starlight said, “And how would she do that?”

My wife’s eyes went wide and her body shivered. Nothing wrong with her ability to connect the dots. She took a step backward.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, dear. You are going to allow Twilight to run experiments on Equestria’s newest pegacorn.”

“Trixie has not agreed to this! Can she not foalsit Flurry Heart instead? Without her magic-inhibiting clip?”

“If I can survive her upgraded Dungeon of Terror, you probably will.” I turned back to Starlight. “You think you can keep the bell hidden?”

Starlight’s ears folded back and she gasped. “You trust me with such a powerful object?”

I nodded. “I know who you are now and trust your devotion to the goals of Friendship and Harmony. Besides, you’re sneaky enough to conceal it somewhere that it won’t easily be found.”

“Thank you, Prince Mark Wells. I won’t let you down.” She lifted the bell in her magic and teleported away.

“Are you absolutely sure of that decision, Dowser?” Trixie asked.

“I am. Starlight has become a good friend and I miss her as my advisor. She has always been informally respectful of me but she used my full title just now. It shows her loyalty and commitment and I trust her implicitly.”

Trixie smirked at me. “So – thinking of adding another mare to your herd then?”

I sputtered and glared at her. “Do you always have that on your mind? No! She’s a friend, not a potential mate!”

“Trixie would find that easier to believe if your bodyguard had not asked her permission to obtain your services as a stud.”

I blushed hard. “At least she hasn’t asked to join the herd!” Trixie just looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “She’s a lesbian and has a marefriend!” I blurted out.

“Have you ever met this marefriend?”

I opened my mouth to reply and stopped. No, I had not – I had just heard about her from Penny. “Oh, come on! You’re just trolling me now!” I protested.

Trixie’s smirk grew wider but she did not reply. To my side, I heard Penny chuckling.

Mares! I firmly turned my attention back to more important matters. “We have to contact Twilight and the hives to let them know that the crisis has been resolved. While they may have felt the return of magic, they won’t know that it’s safe to stand down from emergency measures as yet.”

“Trixie agrees. She also thinks that we will have more ammunition for when we reconvene the Queens’ Council. Perhaps next time they will be more inclined to cooperate and not be so reluctant to make treaty agreements with Equestria and add their strengths to ours.”

Considering the amount of time it had taken for us to fully integrate changelings into the Equestrian military over which we had complete authority, I was less optimistic about that goal. Nevertheless, we had to try. This time we were lucky but next time we would need to be better prepared. If experience has taught us anything, a new threat always loomed just when we thought we had everything under control.

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Author's Note

Oh dear! It seems that we still haven't managed to find the time to explain how Cozy Glow ended up with that bell. Darn it. Looks like you're all going to have to wait until the next chapter. Oh well, maybe you can debate on how stage magic can possibly trump such powerful real magic. Then again, didn't Twilight Sparkle do something similar to Trixie in the show when she had the Alicorn Amulet? :trixieshiftleft:

Art by Foxenawolf.