The Headhunters

by Bok

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sweetie Belle, Original Character, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo
Length: 3920

A shortcut taken on Nightmare Night leads the CMC far off course, and they encounter a local legend that may be their only way home.

A shortcut taken on Nightmare Night leads the CMC far off course, and they encounter a local legend that may be their only way home.

Entry for the Them's Writing Words contest at Bronycon 2018.

Published 2018-08-22 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-22 00:40:01 UTC

The Headhunters

Dozens of glowing red eyes stared at the Cutie Mark Crusaders from the treeline of the Everfree Forest.

"Uh," a Sweetie Belle started, "any of you know a way out of here?"

Hisses erupted all around them. The eyes closed and vanished into the night, making otherworldly sounds far into the forest.

"Guess they don't," Apple Bloom muttered.

"And we still don't have any candy," Sweetie Belle grumbled.

"Not after Diamond Tiara cleaned out the whole town ahead of us."

After an awkward silence, Scootaloo spoke. "So my shortcut didn't work. I still know a way out of here, but I just want to make sure both of you know it too."

"Uh, yeah!" Sweetie Belle replied. "It's, uh-"

She chose a random direction and pointed. "This way!"

As they left, none of them took note of the clearing they'd arrived in growing ever darker, as black storm clouds slowly drifted in front of the moon.

Soon, the Everfree's dark canopy began to strangle the sky above them as they wandered in near total darkness with only the magical glow of Sweetie Bell's horn fighting off the night.

Sweetie Belle turned her horn towards the trees, casting light among the thick rows of bark. "What do you guys think? Past that tree with the screaming face, or the crying one?"

"We saw the screaming tree thirty minutes ago!" Scootaloo grunted. She sat down, then threw her hooves up in the air. "Ugh! We're lost! My Daring Do costume is falling apart! We're never gonna get any candy! This is the worst Nightmare Night ever!"

No sooner had she said 'ever' that a flash of lightning flashed above them, and a downpour began. The other two shot Scootaloo narrowed eyes for jinxing them, prompting the pegasus to give only a nervous smile in return.

Sweetie Belle turned away to concentrate on giving them more light. Her magical torch surged, pushing the darkness away enough that more trees could be seen. Most of them were terrifying but in the predictable Everfree Forest kind of way.

As the Crusaders silently searched around for which route to take, a distant whinny shot through the trees. All three of them tensed up before Scootaloo pointed ahead towards the direction of the sound.

"That sounded like somepony! This way!"

She revved up her wings, hopping on her scooter and taking off. She made it two feet before the front wheel became lodged in the wet dirt, the scooter flipped forward, and she planted face-first. When she dislodged her head from the ground, she saw that Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom had already run on ahead. Scootaloo kept looking back to her scooter and then to her retreating friends, before making her choice and sprinting off behind the other two, abandoning her treasured scooter in the mud.

Scootaloo was too far behind and ran blindly in the darkness calling after Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. While in mid-stride, two pairs of hooves grabbed her out of the darkness and pulled her inside a bush. A yellow hoof stuffed her mouth and she could barely make out the shape of Apple Bloom's pear costume and her head. The earth pony held another hoof up to her mouth to tell her to shush.

Sweetie Belle silently pointed towards a hole on the other side of the bush. Apple Bloom released Scootaloo from their grip and then all leaned towards the opening, gazing outwards into a wide clearing.

There, stood a pony. A tall pony, with its back towards the Crusaders, its shoulders low as it pawed through the mud. In the night it was a shadow, though all of them could make out a set of extremely bulky armor on its frame; bright silver, with a wet gloss from the rain.

"Who is that?" Apple Bloom whispered.

Sweetie Belle squinted through the darkness. "I don't know. He seems as lost as us though."

Scootaloo didn't talk, instead beginning to quiver as a rotten feeling balled up inside her gut. Tall, threatening pony showing up out of nowhere in the middle of the Everfree, right after three little fillies got lost? A legend she feared matched their predicament all too well. If they didn't leave right this second, the pony would lift its head and there would nothing there. And then...

The pony in the clearing raised its neck. Another clash of lightning lit up the entire forest, and at that moment she saw an armored head mounted upon the pony's neck. Scootaloo sank back into the bush in relief; whoever this pony was, he wasn't the dreaded headless legend. After a moment, it resumed its sifting through the mud.

Apple Bloom slowly stepped out of the leaves, prompting Sweetie Belle to poke her head out.

"What are you doing?" Sweetie Belle asked in a shouted whisper.

Apple Bloom turned her head back as she walked towards the armored pony. "Look at him: he's got no idea where he is either."

Sweetie Belle considered Apple Bloom's words for a second before also hopping out and trailing behind. Her superhero cape caught on a branch for a second before she wrenched herself free. Scootaloo brought up the rear. As they approached, the pony stopped its search, standing upright as they approached.

Since he obviously knew they were there, Apple Bloom broke the silence.

"Ahem. Mister?"

A shiny, ornate helmet turned towards them, staring at them through the black slits of the visor.

"We saw you hoofin' around in the dirt. Are you lost?"

After a long pause, the tall pony spoke in a raspy, almost coughing voice. "I'm hunting something."

"A way out of this forest?"

After a pause, the pony nodded. "Yes. Yes, you could say that."

"Mind if we help?"

Scootaloo butted in. "Help? We're looking for a way out too!"

Both her friends shushed her.

Applebloom continued. "Anyway. Think we could help each other out?"

A wrong-sounding howl broke through the trees. While the CMC searched frantically to see where it had come from, the tall pony stood stoically.

"If you wish, follow me. There are things in these woods best avoided."

Without another word, it turned heel and began walking in the opposite direction. All three scampered after it, sticking to its side.

After several minutes alongside the mysterious pony, Scootaloo couldn't keep it in anymore. "So, what are you huntin' for?"

"It is a...personal matter," the tall pony explained, "but I cannot leave these woods until I find it."

"Somepony else?" Scootaloo asked.

"No."

"Buried treasure?" Sweetie Belle inquired.

"No."

"Your wallet?" Applebloom questioned.

"Do you want out of this accursed forest or not?"

Apple Bloom lowered her head in shame. "Sorry. Just curious."

The earth pony decided to change the topic. "So, that's a really cool costume you have. You make it yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, did you buy it or make it?"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo added, "is it like real steel and stuff? I once tried to go as a knight pony, but I ended up having to make my armor out of tin cans. Then that goat showed up and-"

"I forged it myself," the stranger said.

Apple Bloom pointed at his head. "What about the helmet?"

"Also forged. If you must kn-"

"How'd you get it so shiny?"

"I have to-"

"Is it heavy?"

"No pony can-"

"Do you sleep in it?"

The armored pony stamped his hooves in the mud. "QUIET!" it boomed, and suddenly the rain tapered off, dying into only a light drizzle.

It gazed over the stunned ponies, now lying on the ground in a daze. "I will take you to the edge of this forest. There our company ends. Understand?"

"Yeah," all three of them blurted out in unison, slowly pulling themselves back up.

The Crusaders did not speak for some time after, not wanting to provoke another outburst. After a while, they came upon a forked path in the forest. The tall pony pointed towards the path on the right.

"Take that path, and you will exit the forest and be near that village. Horsetown, I believe it was called?"

"Ponyville," Apple Bloom corrected. "How do you not know that?"

It stared straight ahead. "I have been in this forest for some time."

Apple Bloom smiled. "Well, thank you! Sorry we couldn't help you find your thing!"

All three of them ran off on the path, quickly disappearing into the darkness.

A few minutes later, they reappeared from the nearby treeline, arguing with themselves.

"No, you took a wrong turn!" one of them said, causing the other to cry out "that tree branch wasn't an arrow sign!"

They continued to bicker until they realized they were back where they had started, with the armored pony still standing there.

Apple Bloom smiled insincerely. "Uh. Hi. I think we got lost again."

The stranger sighed and pointed towards the path again. "Do not stray from the path, no matter what."

"Right!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, and all three ran on the path once more. Again, they showed up not a minute later, this time arguing whether or not a trail of leaves counted as a path.

Again, Apple Bloom smiled through her embarrassment. "Uhh..."

"You know what? I'll just go with you. Otherwise, we will be here forever."

The Crusaders cheered as they lined up behind the strang pony. As the stranger headed down the path, the three crusaders again began to talk about which one of them got them lost on the path. Once they reached the end of the path, they pushed through some thick trees to find themselves at the clearing they had first met the stranger.

He was just as confused as the other three.

"How?"

Sweetie Belle timidly gave an explanation. "We're really good at getting lost?"

"THAT'S IT!" the stranger screamed. "YOU THREE ARE HOPELESS!"

To make its point, the pony tore off its helmet and threw it forward into the treeline. It zoomed past the distant trees with a blur, disappearing from sight.

They gawked at the stranger. Upon his neck, where the helmet had been, was only an empty stump.

Its neck bent towards where it had thrown the helmet, the headless pony realized what it had done. "Oh."

All three of them screamed, clutching each other in fear. Scootaloo screeched the loudest, forcing the headless pony to attempt to cover the ears he did not have.

"Quiet!" he commanded, but all three ignored him.

"Silence! Desist! Stop!" he ordered, but the screaming continued.

"SHUT IT!" he finally roared, and all three immediately stopped, watching him with fearful eyes.

Scootaloo pointed a hoof towards him, quivering. "Y-Y-You're-"

"You know me as the Headless Horse."

Her greatest fear realized the color drained from Scootaloo's face as she tumbled backward, taking her friends with her. The Headless Horse walked over to her, its headless neck towering over them.

"I am what is called a Dullahan. I have been wandering these woods for many years searching for my lost head."

"A-a-and you're gonna take one of ours?" Scootaloo asked fearfully.

"No, that's not how that works. Not that I'd want them anyway."

"Wait-" Apple Bloom stated, her fearful expression instantly replaced by an annoyed frown, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle joined in, jumping up. "We have perfectly good heads!"

With her two friends standing up to the feared legend, Scootaloo worked up the courage to berate him as well. "Y-yeah! Who made you the Princess of Heads?"

If it had eyes, it would have rolled them. "Please. I have only one head, long since lost."

Apple Bloom tilted her head. "Well, how do you know it's still around? Maybe it got squashed?"

"If that were the case, I would have been destroyed along with it. It is in this forest. I can feel it."

"Well," Sweetie Belle said, "think we could help you find it?"

"Or at least replace that helmet you threw away," Scootaloo added.

Despite the lack of a head, the Headless Horse would've clearly been shaking it 'no'. "That helmet is of the strongest Unseelie Steel. I'll find that. Besides, almost nothing could-"

A horrible moan ripped through the forest and the sound of tearing metal echoed around them. A moment later, the Headless Horse's helmet was thrown back from the treeline, landing in front of them as a smashed, ripped heap of metal covered in hay and drool.

"Well, that's our answer then," Apple Bloom declared. "We're gonna get you a new head! And we ain't leavin' until we do!"

She held out one hoof. "Y'all in?"

Sweetie Belle thought for a moment before nodding and putting her hoof next to Apple Bloom's. Both of them turned towards Scootaloo to finish the circle. With a defeated sigh, Scootaloo forced a smile and joined her hoof with the others.

"Cutie Mark Head Hunters!" they announced, and with that their sacred oath of assistance was sealed.

"Really, you don't need to-" the Headless Horse began, but stopped talking when he realized he was being ignored. The Crusaders darted about the clearing in a frenzied blur, before zooming up to him with their completed project: a vaguely pony-shaped head, with leaves for eyes and a stick for a mouth. Hesitantly, he took the mud-head up with one hoof and placed it on his neck. It immediately slid off, hitting the ground with a wet slap.

Apple Bloom tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Hm. Shoulda known. Mud ain't good for much of anything."

Sweetie Belle's voice spoke up from behind them.

They both turned to see Sweetie Belle had somehow found another pony's skull in the mud, holding up like a trophy. She walked up to the Headless Horse, placing it on his neck with her magic.

The skull was suddenly engulfed in blue flames. It jumped to life, its jaw moving wildly as talked in a panicked, insane patter.

"IN THE VILE GARDEN, IT SLEEPS UNDAUNTED! ALL WILL KNEEL AT THE THRONE OF THE BLACK EYES, FOR NO MORTAL CAN-"

The insane skull was interrupted by Scootaloo jumping up and whacking it with a stick as hard as she could. The skull rocketed high above the trees, its gibbering receding into the sounds of the forest.

Scootaloo spat the stick out. "What about a pumpkin?"

"Yes, and maybe I should put a candle in it, and throw it across bridges at lanky ponies."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just...an old misconception. No thank you."

"Well," Apple Bloom resolved, "We'll just wander around until we find it!"

She imagined an invisible raised eyebrow in space above the Headless Horse's neck as it spoke. "You mean do the thing I have been doing for years, with no success?"

"Yup!"

"I suppose you won't leave until we do find it or you all give up."

It began walking towards another part of the clearing, motioning for them to follow. "If you're set on 'helping' me, I might as well make the most of it. This way."

As he walked away, the Crusaders eyed at each other with determined resolve. The Headless Horse wasn't a monster, he was just another pony in need. In need of a head. Which they would find. Nodding in unison, they ran off behind the Headless Horse, asking what its head even looked like.

After searching for some time, they had all stopped to rest. When the Headless Horse found a comfortable rock, it sat down and grunted.

"Now do you understand my predicament? Every day is like this. Endless searching. Endless disappointment."

Scootaloo motioned the forest around them. "Is there any place in this forest you know you haven't explored?"

"There are of course places I don't scavenge because I value my life. That dragon cave over there, for instance. I like to think I'm fairly powerful. But against a dragon?"

Before he could continue, he realized he was talking to nothing as the Crusaders had already entered the cave. He jumped up, taking after them. By the time he could get ahead and throw himself in front of them, they were already deep inside, standing in front of the massive red dragon sleeping upon its glittering hoard.

"Are you mad? "

"We're just gonna ask the dragon if he's got your head."

"HEY DRAGON!" Scootaloo called out.

The dragon's eyes shot open, and it slowly uncoiled itself from its treasure pile as it rose above the Crusaders, smoke billowing out of its mouth.

Together, the Crusaders chanted. "Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us a head or something!"

The dragon growled, smoke growing ever thicker.

Scootaloo grimaced at the other two. "See, I told you he wouldn't like the new chant!"

"WHY DO YOU BOTHER ME?" the dragon demanded.

"Well," Apple Bloom explained, "It's Nightmare Night, and we've had our fills of candy and such. So you wouldn't happen to have any ol' Dullahan heads layin' around, would you?"

The dragon leaned back, then plunged one claw into its treasure pile before pulling out something among the glittering coins and jewelry. A pony head, but not like any they'd ever seen. Its eyes were just a little too big, and its grin a little too wide.

"My head," the Headless Horse whispered. "Under all that gold. No wonder I couldn't..."

With two claws, the dragon dangled the head in front of them. "THIS?"

"Yes!" Apple Bloom cheered, "Can we have it?"

"NO." the dragon growled, throwing the head behind him onto the treasure pile. "NOW SCRAM."

Before they could say anything, it flicked them all, throwing them backwards out of the cave. Their journey out was eventually stopped by a tree, the CMC's impact softened by the Headless Horse hitting it first and then piling against him.

The tree swayed, before swinging back and throwing them to the ground. Stars danced around their head before Apple Bloom was the first to recover, kicking up dust in a huff.

"Darn! You never turn down visitors on Nightmare Night!"

Sweetie Belle scrambled up as well. "Now what?"

"Now I live the rest of my life in despair," the Headless Horse muttered as it rose.

A sly grin appeared on Apple Bloom's face. "Really now? I think we just need the right costume."

"Costume?"

Apple Bloom reached out and brought her two friends close with a mischievous grin.

"Mr. Headless? Mind sitting here for a bit? We gotta do some backtracking."

Before he could give an answer, the three were long gone.

A few hours later, the Crusaders returned. While Scootaloo and Apple Bloom seemed the same, Sweetie Belle appeared to have fashioned a new costume out of torn fabric from her cape, now wearing a dark cloak around her head, too dark to see her face.

"What is this?" the Headless Horse asked, but they ignored him and kept walking towards the dragon cave.

Once there, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom announced their presence by once again shouting the Nightmare Night phrase. The dragon stomped its way to the entrance of the cave, bringing its head down level to the crusaders.

"WHAT?" the dragon hissed.

Apple Bloom waved to the dragon. "Hi! We just figured we'd visit you again."

"YOU ARE STUPID TO RETURN."

"We know you won't give us that head, so we figured we'd give you one! Now, Sweetie Belle!"

On cue, Sweetie Belle threw down her hood. In a flash, the skull from earlier launched itself forward from the top of Sweetie's head and towards the dragon's face, screaming insanity all the while.

"THE FALLOW KING IS HERE! THE FALLOW KING IS HERE! THE FALLOW KING WAS ALWAYS HERE!"

The dragon screamed in terror as it attempted to swat away the crazy skull. With the dragon distracted, the Crusaders sprinted forth, going right for the head that had rolled to the bottom of the hoard. Apple Bloom threw it on top of her head, turning around and bolting back outside as the dragon continued to fight off the skull like a flaming wasp.

The Crusaders ran straight past the Headless Horse, himself turning to see the dragon ready to torch him. With a whinny, he also ran headlesslong into the forest, vanishing from the dragon's sight.

The CMC kept running. Apple Bloom suddenly tripped, the head flying off hers as it bounced forward. They followed the head with their eyes, and their mouths dropped as they saw it stop at an opening on the edge of the forest, Ponyville just ahead. They heard hoofsteps behind them, and turned to see the Headless Horse standing over them.

He said nothing, walking over and putting the strange head on backward, twisting around like a screw before it set in place. The wide, yellow eyes of the now Headed Horse blinked once then closed as an unmistakable smile washed over its frightening face. It turned towards the Crusaders, its eyes wet.

"Thank you. I've searched for so long."

Apple Bloom wondered if she liked him better when he was headless. "You're welcome?"

It turned its head toward Ponyville and pointed towards it.

"You've found a way out on your own, so now I must find another way to repay you. What would-"

"CANDY!" Scootaloo called out.

"A Dullahan owes you the greatest favor, and you ask for candy?"

"YES!"

The Dullahan noted the other two, who nodded furiously at Scootaloo's wish.

He closed his eyes. "Very well. Candy it shall be."

His eyes opened, white with energy. "CANDY! CANDY FROM THE FAERIE COURT! CONFECTIONS OF OBERON! MINTS OF TITANIA! SWEETS UNKNOWN TO LESSER BEINGS!"

The bags of candy the CMC had brought on their backs suddenly felt much heavier as bright light poured out of them. More and more the bags inflated until they seemed ready to burst, and then the light stopped, tiny sparks floating silently above the bags before disappearing into nothing.

Scootaloo dug into her bag, pulling out a glowing pink wrapper. She quickly freed the treat from its paper container, throwing it into her mouth. Her pupils dilated. It was the best thing she'd ever eaten. It was like being declared Eternal Leader of the Wonderbolts, Rainbow Dash's #1 fan, and getting her cutie mark all over again in taste form.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle witnessed Scootaloo's reaction and tried their candy as well, eliciting similar reactions. Once the effects had faded, they looked up to their new friend with gratified eyes.

"Thanks, Mr. Headless!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

The Dullahan chuckled. "I have an actual name, you know. Morgantide."

"Thank you, Mr. Morgantide!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cried before taking off towards Ponyville.

Scootaloo stayed behind, beaming at the monster that had once plagued her dreams.

"You're pretty cool, Mr. Morgan. Are you gonna leave the forest now that you have your head?"

"I suppose I'll stay here for a few more seasons. If only to keep you three out of trouble. And one more thing."

A bright flash appeared in front of Scootaloo, forcing her to shield her eyes. When the light faded, there was the scooter she had abandoned, free of mud. She ran forward, placing her hooves on the familiar handles and glanced up to the Dullahan with tears in her eyes.

Pushing the scooter forward, she hugged one of the Dullahan's long, armored legs. "Thanks, Mr. Morgan!"

With a final squeeze, she took off on her returned scooter, munching on candy that even Filthy Rich couldn't afford. Happy.

Happy that her former nightmare was now a friend.