A Chaotic Memory

by Dsarker

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Princess Luna, Original Character, Tragedy, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 2348

Hatred. Pain. Loss. These are his only memories.

This world will burn for what she did to me. She will be slain by my hands.

Published 2011-12-10 06:47:02 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-10 06:47:02 UTC

Chapter 1

I watched the six gather.

I already knew this would happen. Another period of permanent imprisonment. Not death. For Celestia was merciful. She just couldn't bear the guilt. My life. The ruin I had was her FAULT. I turned to my memories for what felt like an infinity.

I was a young colt. I was poor. But we used to be friends, she and I. I was just a normal pony. She couldn't possibly love me. No, she was royalty. One of the alicorns. Better than us. I was 'that mudpony'. But I could live with her family insulting me. Oh, yes. I could deal with that. They meant NOTHING to me. They never did. Only she did.

Until one day. I looked for her where we met. And she...she wasn't there.

I waited. I waited the whole day. Until at night I saw her. With her family. She was lowering the sun. I still waited. Surely she'd come out now. Surely she had merely needed to rest that day to lower it. But she didn't. Her sister did. That was what stung the most. She couldn't get the courage to tell it to my face.

"Our sister hast more important things to do than to meet with thou, mudpony." she said. I didn't move. I was too shocked. "Thou hast heard us. Begone!"

I slunk away. I didn't return to what had been my home, a small box in a back alley.

I just walked. I didn't see, or hear, or feel where I had gone, until I bumped into another pony.

"Oh!" he said. "Excuse me, young lad. You wouldn't happen to be that young friend of Celestia, would you?" I looked at him. He was an alicorn. I turned away, about to start walking again, when he spoke once more. "Terrible what she did to you, wasn't it?"

I rounded on him, prepared to fight, angry as I was. He seemed to notice, and made a calming expression. "Easy, boy. You have anger, but it's not good to fight those who want to help you." I kept staring at him. "That's a boy. Why don't you follow me? I have three friends who would be delighted to meet you."

So I did. I was young, but even then I knew who were my REAL friends. This pony, Sench as he called himself, was true. I followed him, to a home that seemed empty. He entered, and called out three names. Corn, Anni, and Ner. Three ponies came out. A mare and two stallions. One of the stallions was wearing the brass armour of the Royal Guard, but unlike most of them, he was a mere earth pony. The other was a unicorn. He smelt a bit, but he was a nice guy. The mare was young. Just older than me, it felt like. She had a teasing grin on her face as she came out to meet me.

I was quite awestruck, as I recall. My first real friends in the world. I just stood there, not speaking. The Royal Guard came out and clapped me on the side.

"Come on, boy! Speak freely. We're here to help you." His hoof spoke of his great strength.

"Stop it, Corn." said the mare, a twinkle in her eyes. "You're scaring him." Her voice was beautiful. Encouraged, I spoke up.

"Um...How do you do?" I said, hesitantly. The unicorn took this moment to come over.

"That's the way, boyo!" he said, clapping me on the back. "Go on, speak up."

"How do you do?" I asked, my confidence restored.

"We're good," spoke the alicorn behind me. "We're here because we're concerned about you."

I began to speak. Of Celestia. Of what I had being taken away from me.

They listened. Unlike her sister. They paid me attention. They cared about who I was, not just themselves.

Corn spoke up first. "Boy, I can help you with that. The fillies love a colt in armour, I can tell you. You train with me, and you'll make it into the Guard for sure. Then she'll come back to you."

They stood nodding, and emboldened, I said "Yes. I'll do it."

We spent the next eight months training. At first it was merely strength and endurance training. But soon we began sparring. He beat me easily each time, but I grew better. After those eight months, he pronounced me ready. I signed up for the Guard.

The drill sergeant came in, an alicorn. I was the only earth pony. The others were unicorns or pegasus. But I was ready for both. Corn had taught me well.

"Well. It seems we have a mud pony in our ranks." He closed to me. "Sorry, boy," he spat. "You'll never make the Guard."

"I'll spar with you and beat you, sir." I snapped out. I almost regretted the heat of the moment, then he nodded.

"Very well. You beat me, you're in. You lose, you leave right now." I nodded.

He stood in a guard posture. "Come and get me-" he began, to be interrupted by my charge. I sent him into the air. He halted his spin, and looked down at me. "Well, see how you deal with a bit of magic, eh?" He called down a lightning bolt. I jumped into it. His face was arrogantly expectant of a victory, then fell as I emerged unscathed. He came down.

"Alright. Hoof to hoof it is." He charged me. I charged right back. He lowered his horn, and prepared to hit me head on. I sidestepped him and tackled him. He landed badly, and I put my hoof on his neck.

He stared at me in disgust, and nodded. I removed my hoof.

"Alright, boy. You're in. But you'll have to prove yourself still. One victory does not a Guard make."

I pushed myself harder than I ever had then. Another few months passed, and I was made a Royal Guard. I was presented with my armour by Celestia herself. I preened, and waited for her to recognise me. But you know what the bitch did? She just moved right on. I didn't care though. I held myself together.

When I emerged afterwards, I pushed myself harder than I had before into the training. It was then that Sench appeared again.

"Well, no longer boy. My friend, how did it go? Did she take you back at once?"

I ignored him, keeping to my training.

"That bad, huh. Well, my friend, how about you come with me? I think I know why she ignores you."

I followed him, and he led me to a darkened room.

"My friend, remember one thing. She is an alicorn. She does not expect you, or any other earth pony, to be worthy of her. So what you must do is prove it."

"How?!" I snapped. "How do I prove it?"

"By simply showing her your magic." was his answer, cryptic as he usually was.

"My magic? I'm an earthpony. We don't have magic."

"Not magic from the horn, that is true. But there is other magic, ritual magic. It takes longer, but it can still prove effective. Take, for example, telekinesis. It is hard to do it without a horn, but you can empower yourself with such, for a time."

I was intrigued, and sought to learn. For the next eighteen months, I don't recall when I slept, or ate, or drank. I spent the day at the Guard, training mechanically. At night, I praticed with Sench. He taught me a lot. At the end of the eighteen months, he proclaimed me finished. That I knew how to do my magic. It was the first day after that when I first did it in public. In the morning, I performed the ritual for telekinesis. I boasted of it, and performed the telekinesis, all day. She saw me, and turned away.

I fled to my room in disgrace. The only pony who I really wanted to show it to hated me. The bitch that she was.

Ner came to me there, and saw me crying. He comforted me. He patted me on the back, told me it would be all right.

"Maybe she'll never love you. Doesn't matter. In the end, all things pass. Just got to let this feeling fade too."

The words were strange, but they comforted me. I spent my day in a strange sort of bliss, of fatalism. It would all happen whatever I did, so whatever I did didn't matter. Several of the Guard joined me in this. The Royals didn't really care about us, but it didn't matter. In the end, we'd pass, they'd pass, and everything would change. It would be okay to endure it for now. I lived like this for seven months, just whiling away the time.

But then I changed. Fatalism was all well and good, but damn it, I wanted to enjoy my life. Maybe I couldn't change anything, but I'd at least have fun not changing it. Anni came to me then. She wasn't like most mares. She showed me how to enjoy life. We'd spend evenings boozing it up, the days laughing at the foolishness of the royals. Sometimes we played tricks on them, always with Sench's help. But what she taught me most of all is that seeking pleasure should be first and foremost. Who cares about the rest? So we planned in those six months how to achieve my greatest pleasure: getting Celestia. Maybe the bitch wouldn't care about me. But I'd damn well enjoy her.

I tried to talk to her, but she just turned me away. It was hateful of her. I took a walk back to my real friends. I wanted to do whatever it took to get Celestia to love me. I asked for their help, and they, my real friends, my patrons, gave it.

Sench showed me more magic, and taught me how to plan all things. Anni taught me how to get ponies to want to follow me, showing me how to be more handsome, physically stunning, but also how to speak my words to seduce other ponies into obeying me. Ner taught me to enjoy wherever I was, whatever I was, however I was. To endure. And it was Corn who taught me my greatest lesson.

"Spare the helpless. Don't bother harming them, or fighting them. They're worthless to do so. It dishonours you, makes you less."

I learned well.

I returned to the Guard, and my small group of friends began to expand. Soon, there were none there who didn't trust my judgment. The Royals, they showed me no hint of recognition.

I started spreading the typical rumours. The royals were corrupt. They hated all who weren't alicorns. Those in the Guard who were alicorns slowly disappeared, as I purified my ranks.

I led a great revolution. I and my chosen band walked into the Royal Palace. The Guard there let me pass, knowing and obeying my plan. The Royals there turned to me.

"What is the meaning of this disturbance?" roared the king. I turned to him, disgust in my eyes.

"The Royal family is abolished. Prepare for a quick death!" I roared, and charged them. They stood there, stunned, still unmoving as I cut them down. At the same time, the other Guard members did the same throughout the palace.

Corn, Sench, Ner, and Anni came to meet me.

"Congratulations, my disciple." said Sench.

"You've done well, boy." said Corn.

"Ooh, these years will be delicious," said Anni, slinking up behind me.

"The Royals have passed." Ner spoke.

"We have a gift for you," they said. With a nod, they made me who I am today. I was powerful. I flexed my fingers, and the universe obeyed. I nodded.

"Thank you," I said.

They disappeared, and I went to find the aftermath.

All the alicorns had been killed. All but two, Luna and Celestia. I put them from my mind. I ruled now. They mattered not.

I ruled the new kingdom with an iron fist. The Guards obeyed my will as if it were there own. And the people bowed to me.

I called for blood arenas, to satisfy the Guard, now bored after the coup. Prisoners and those type were dropped in there for them to slaughter.

I was happy for another two and two thirds years. And then I was given word that the two sisters had been found. I led my Guard in the last battle. They were guarded by hundreds of ponies, in golden armour. I sounded the charge, and the two forces clashed.

Much blood was spilled upon that day. I rejoiced in it. And then I came to deal with Celestia.

I walked right into her trap. She, too, had learned ritual magic, and bound me, as if I were some demonic force, some evil.

She stared at me, altered as I was. And the fake love in her eyes was there still. I couldn't move, couldn't unleash my hate on her. She came right up to me.

"I know there is good in you," she said.

"Damn you. Kill me or let me kill you, you cold-hearted BITCH!" I yelled. "You MADE me this way!"

She stared at me, with sorrow in her eyes. Damn her.

"You chose this path yourself, my friend. No matter what it takes, I will see you freed from it. I will never fail you again as I did before. I will free you and return you. Whatever it takes. I am sorry for what it will take."

Damn her. She was crying. She was CRYING AS SHE TURNED ME TO STONE FOR MORE THAN A THOUSAND YEARS. I WILL KILL HER FOR WHAT SHE DID TO ME.

So as the six turned to me, I readied my hatred. I would need to concentrate it for another thousand years to get me through this without losing all that I had gained through my patrons.

"Do your worst."