Modding Equestria

by Wild Wire

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Self Insert, Profanity, Random, Adventure, Discord, Violence, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora
Length: 3291

Hi! I'm Aidan, and I'm in Equestria with abilities from Garry's Mod.

Hello, my name is Aidan, and I'm currently trapped in Equestria, with Garry's Mod powers, including all my addons.

(Self-Insert)

The upload schedule is: never, its dead.

Published 2018-10-13 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-17 21:43:19 UTC

1. Aidan has joined the game

Darkness.

Nothing. Nothing to see. Nothing to do. Nothing to feel, just darkness.

And then I open my eyes. I wince from the sudden white everywhere. The white here, the opposite of the strange darkness I was just experiencing, is slightly painful and bright, as if its coming off of a computer screen at maximum brightness. "Where am I?" I think to myself, worried by the massive amount of light within my vision.

I feel a strange, unfamiliar material on my back. I was laying down on something, something I've never felt before. Pushing myself up into a sitting position, legs out, I look down to see nothing. Nothing, but more white, and looking above me, the white doesn't change. I blink rapidly, brows furrowed, trying to block some of the light from my eyes.

"So," The sound of my own voice startles me into jumping up a short distance. I realize how quiet it is around me. No noise, save for my own breath, sounding like a weak, unsteady wind. The thought of wind brings me to my next thought. "There's no wind." The utter lack of any feeling other than the clothing on my body and the strange, white floor,

It frightens me.

"There's nothing here. There's truly nothing, no wind, no sound, nothing but the painful white. Wait, I don't know that, maybe I should call for help." With that line of thought, I stand up, quickly cupping my hands around my mouth, and shout.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Anybody?" I pause to listen, but no sound returns. "There has to be someone here! Hello?" I continue, beginning to turn around to call in different directions. "Please! Is anybody there? H-" My next call dies in my throat, as I see something other than white as I turn around. Something strange. Familiar.

A cyan, slightly rounded square, easily twice my size, and lying within it, a large, white, lowercase 'G'.

The logo for Garry's Mod.

I take a step back.

"What the fuck?" I slowly whisper to myself, blinking and wiping my eyes, thinking it could vanish at any moment. "What the fuck?" I repeat to myself multiple times, trying to get a grasp on my situation. Including the absolute absurdity of it all. After a few minutes of mindless blinking, I finally get a slight understanding of everything.

"Holy shit, I'm in Garry's Mod. I'm actually within the Garry's Mod loading screen. What the actual fuck." And then other thoughts catch enter my mind. "Am I joining a server? Am I the only one? Are there more? Oh shit! What map am I going to? It better not load anywhere with lava, I swear to fucking god!" Then my thoughts turn elsewhere.

"Will I get powers? Will I be able to no-clip around? If I get powers then this might just be the best thing ever!" I start to laugh to myself quietly, giddy with the thought of flying around and building things. Then came a sound. A glorious sound. The sound of a bird chirping in the morning sun. But it sounds off. Its cut, just a piece of that sound, looping over and over.

"Must be loading lag, that always kind of sucks," I say.

Just as I finish that sentence, the white around me instantly changes, surrounding me with bright apple trees, brighter than what would be natural. My outfit changes as well, changing to a cyan lab coat with blue pants and brown boots, glasses suddenly placed over my eyes. In my right hand appears a strange item.

The item has two handles, one sitting in the back, and one off to the left side of the main piece, meant to be held not unlike a small Gatling gun. The main piece of the gun looks like multiple bars of metal surrounding a sky blue energy, almost like a bug zapper. At the end of it, is three prong-like things, one at the top, and the other two below at the sides, all of which are facing outward, then pointing back in.

The Physics Gun.

"This is going to be fun." I say to myself. On the left side of my vision, I see little squares with Icons. A pink one labeled PAC3, one with a pony head named CPPM and one simply called Player Model. Seeing the first too surprises me, as those are part of my addons. Neat.

As I'm about to open the spawn menu, a bunch of pink clouds quickly appear in the sky. I blankly stare at them, wondering why they're pink. "Maybe missing textures?" I ask myself. "Oh, wait no, now its raining chocolate milk," I sigh. "I'm in Equestria, aren't I?" I face towards the sky. "Damn it,"

"Well, at least I can use my addons to somewhat fit in," I say, quickly trying to figure out how to press the icons in my vision, and after a few seconds, I solve my problem by just thinking about it. I open CPPM. CPPM is short for Custom Pony Player Model, and I should be able to load my saved file for Wild Wire, my unicorn OC.

My vision changes for a moment, moving outside of my body, showing me what I look like. My fur is an orange color, my eyes are blue, and my cutie-mark is a wire in a circle, with the top left corner being cut and frayed. Immediately I don't like what I see, as something is missing, and by something, I mean my mane and tail.

I sigh, quickly closing CPPM and opening PAC3, also known as Player Appearance Customizer. Again my vision changes to show the front of my body, and I go through my list of custom files. "Error Sans, Luigi, Master Hand," I skim through the long list. "Sonic, Whacka, HERE it is! Wild Wire!" I load it up, seeing my hair and tail appear on my pony body.

My mane is black and slicked back, with some frayed wires coming out the back in a cone, blue electricity dancing across it. My tail is literally a thick black wire, frayed along the end in another cone, also with electricity moving around. Its with this that I think I'm ready.

"Welp, I'm off to fight Discord, I guess."

2. A mess

I've been walking around what I assume is Sweet Apple Acres for a few hours now and I still haven't reached the end, but at least whenever I'm thirsty, I can just drink the chocolate milk rain. I decide to check if I have all of my addons or just some, and if I have admin controls.

With just a thought, a grey and transparent rectangle appears in front of me, with a few tabs on top and categories on the left side, with the middle reserved for random props anywhere from trains to coffee cups to statues. On the right side is another list, for tools and options. There appears to be a new tab for all things pony related. I go to the utilities tab and check the settings.

Everything is as I remember it, a bunch of horizontal sliders for different things, such as gravity, the speed of objects, etc. I try to move the gravity lower than its default setting of six hundred, and move it down to five hundred. In the bottom left corner of my vision, a message appears.

"sv_gravity has been set to 500,"

"Okay, I have admin privileges, that's fucking awesome," I say to myself, before changing gravity back. I continue on my walk, getting aggravated that it takes to long to get out of here. On my way, I decide to take in my surroundings, and more specifically, the shapes of the cotton candy clouds.

"Okay, that one looks like a dog, and that one over there looks like a milkshake, and there's coconut, or is that a bowling ball? OH! That one is shaped like a heart! And there's a dog, and a milkshake, and, wait a minute," I double check the last two I saw, before looking ahead.

"God damn it I'm going in circles, and I KNOW I was walking in a straight line. Probably Discord's work," I say out loud to myself, as I move my head to meet my hoof half way. But before they connect, I see something on the ground right in front of me.

Discord's spike tooth.

"OH SHIT I'M NOT READY FOR THIS I AM ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED I'M STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I continue screaming in my head, terrified of what he will do to me. slowly, the dirt around the tooth starts to rumble, and a grey pony head with closed eyes rises from the ground, a dear antler and a goat horn growing out of his head.

I can't move, as the actual lord of chaos himself is appearing right in front of me. at this point, his head comes out of the ground, but not his body. His FLOATING HEAD turns to me and he opens his eyes.

I scream.

I turn and run as fast as I can but I'm not moving anywhere. I look down and see the ground below me moving like a treadmill, forcing me to run in place. I try my hardest to get away from the floating head but nothing works, so I stop. I turn back towards Discord's disembodied head in horror.

Discord starts laughing like a maniac, floating over to a tree and eating the entire top at once, leaving only the bark left, which he proceeds to spin onto like a screw, the bark of the tree becoming his body, and the branches and roots sticking out changing shape and color to become his other limbs.

I'm shaking in fear at this point, looking up at Discord's towering figure. He laughs like he's just heard the funniest joke ever. He immediately stops and turns to me and I flinch.

"You," He says.

He's only said one word and I suddenly feel like doing anything is futile. In a way, it is. He's a god, and what am I? I'm just a... "Wait a minute, that's it! I have ULX commands! I can just use '!god'!" As soon as I think of using the command, small text appears in my vision.

"Aidan has granted godmode upon himself."

A pause.

"YES! I'm invincible! I'm safe! Wait, Discord doesn't need to do any damage to hypnotize me! SHIT! Hopefully he doesn't get the idea to do so," I think to myself, feeling slightly less terrified of him. "I already know that he's just a lonely guy who needs friends, as seen in Keep Calm and Flutter On, but he's still scary!"

And then I get an idea for escape.

So instantly, I do the first thing I think of.

I drop to the ground and try my best to make no movements. Discord raises an eyebrow, but continues.

"You, are very strange. Your magic doesn't FEEL like a normal pony's magic, and I would know, I've messed with many ponies." He tells me, getting right in my face. I don't move a muscle. "Your very soul has a sort of chaos that I haven't seen in a very long time, and that's very interesting... what are you even doing?" He asks questioningly.

Nothing.

"Are... Are you playing dead?" He tries to hold in a chuckle, but fails. His laugh echoes through out the orchard, as his very being spreads more chaos, and large chunks of ground start to float into the sky. "Well, if that's the case, then I do believe I have found a new puppet." He snaps his claws, and puppet strings appear on my body, but I still don't move.

He then begins to play with my body, making it do silly dances and poses in the air. He does this for a few minutes, laughing to his hearts content, before his chuckles begin to slowly die off.

"How are you doing nothing so well?" He raises an eyebrow, once again gaining no response. "Well, I guess I'll just dispose of you!" He snaps again, a bunch of saws appear below my body and a pair of scissors appear near the strings. "Hmm, that's a tad too grim, let me fix that," With another snap, a small kid pool appears.

A kid pool with a shark fin poking out of the water. "Ah, much better! Now, are you ready to meet your doom?" He shouts theatrically. No reaction, not even movement in the eyes. Another pause.

"Alright, what's wrong with you?" He deadpans, using scanning spells on my body. He immediately frowns.

"H-He actually tricked me?"

"YES YES YES YES YES! I'M GOING TO LIVE! HAHAHAHAHA! SUCK IT DICKORD!" I scream in my mind, catching my breath as I near the Everfree forest. "Thank you so much Dead Ringer! You beautiful, beautiful watch! But now, I'm going to need to hide, maybe even make a base, and no one is going to stop me."

"Of course some one just had to stop me," I think to myself. I walked in the forest for a few minutes, and suddenly both of my hind hooves are attached to a rope, hanging me upside down. I thought of using noclip to escape, but I wanted to see where this was going, plus the rope is actually kind of comfortable when you don't have any risk of getting hurt or feeling pain. "Is this why bats sleep on the ceilings of caves?"

I'm about to fall asleep when I hear hoof steps approaching, and then a pause. "Must be Zecora, finally coming by to let me down from here" I think to myself, almost disappointed that I have to leave the comfort of the rope.

Suddenly a spear flies through the bushes and hits my eye. I flinch before realizing I have invincibility right now, causing the spear to simply bounce off like a pebble hitting a solid brick wall. I give a fearful stare towards the bushes, wishing they weren't there. Zecora walks out of the bushes.

Zecora steps up, before she lifts another spear to my neck, and just stands there, looking intimidating for a few moments, before narrowing her eyes, and stabbing the spear forward. I flinch again, but the spear just shatters into thin splinters, almost hurting Zecora as it breaks.

"T-The first spear didn't work, w-why would the s-second one do a-anything?" I ask, stuttering in fear, even though I know nothing can hurt me. Zecora just looks down at her broken spear, before reaching behind her and pulling out a glass bottle, filled with some purple liquid. She picks up and leaf and pours some of the liquid onto it, the leaf quickly melting into nothing.

"S-So, I assume you k-know I'm not really a pony?" I ask, my eyes darting between her and the bottle. Zecora nods with a glare, before throwing the battle straight at me, causing the glass to also shatter and the purple liquid to pour onto my face. A tingling sensation begins, before it simply vanishes. Zecora sighs, before turning around and walking the way she came.

"Hey! Get back here! Let me down, please!" But she ignores me, "I asked nicely." I say. If she even actually heard me, she didn't react at all. Knowing that Zecora is smart, I slowly begin to think that she's testing me, since I survived her attacks. Trying to see my abilities somehow, to see if I have any weaknesses.

"I'm a fucking idiot, but I'm not that dumb," I think as she leaves my vision, meaning I need to get out of the rope without using any of my special abilities, no noclip or teleporting with commands. Then I remember something. Something about my character and player model.

"My tail!" I shout in my head. There's electricity and sparks coming off of my mane and tail. If I could move my tail close enough to the rope, I might be able to start a fire and burn it. But I haven't figured out how to move it yet. "Well, I guess I better start searching," I sigh to myself. "I haven't even been here for half a day and things are already a mess,"

I start moving every part of my body I can, and after a minute of accidentally moving my hooves, I find the one attached to my tail. With a lot of effort, I get the base of my tail to move up a little bit. "SUCCESS! Kind of," I say out loud, wincing as I realized how quiet it was. Just like in the white space, it was really quiet. Not nearly as much, but still very quiet.

"Maybe Zecora really is watching me, and all the other animals are scared or something?" I think as I continue to move my tail, swinging it around a bit. "Oh, come on! If Applejack can spin a lasso with her tail, I should be able to move mine!" I push myself in my head, and after about two minutes of trial and error, I find more bones IN MY TAIL.

"Wait, what?" I ask myself. "Why are there bones in something that would normally be a bunch of hair?" I ponder, before shaking my head and finding more bones. After one more minute, I finally have control over enough of my tail to move it up to the rope. So I do.

Instantly the rope catches fire, setting me free and dropping me on my horn, getting it stuck in the ground. Then the fire from the rope starts to move up it, spreading towards the tree in the edge of my vision.

"Oh shit, I did not think this through." Now I'm stuck, I can't use my powers in risk of giving away too much, and there's about to be a forest fire in the Everfree, possibly giving away my position to Discord. So what do I do? Do I wait? Do I get out and show Zecora my powers? Do I let Discord get me?

Zecora comes back immediately before the fire reaches the trees, with a bucket of water, and dumps it all, putting out the fire and getting me wet as I was under it. I give a sarcastic thanks as I pull my horn out of the ground. Zecora turns back to me.

"Now I believe what I thought wasn't true, you are not really Discord, are you?" She asks.

My eye begins to twitch.

"REALLY? YOU THOUGHT I WAS DISCORD AND JUST NOW FIGURED OUT I WASN'T? If I was Discord I would have just flipped over while still tied up and EAT the fucking rope LIKE A GOD DAMN TWIZZLER! I have made NO PROGRESS AT ALL TODAY AND FACED THE LITERAL FUCKING EMBODIMENT OF DISHARMONY ITSELF! I escaped, ran to hide in a DEADLY FOREST, AND I WOULD HAVE DIED IF I WASN'T INDESTRUCTIBLE! IF THE SPEAR DIDN'T FUCKING KILL ME, THEN THE FALL PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BROKEN MY NECK! ALL THIS SHIT BECAUSE I LANDED HERE IN EQUESTRIA INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY BEING HOME!"

Zecora could only stare at me after my outburst, and as I stand there, catching my breath after letting out all of my anger, I begin to think about how I feel about everything. I haven't even been here for half a day, and everything is a mess. I'm tired, stressed, scared- no, scratch that - I'm terrified, but one thing stands out above the rest.

"I'm pissed off."