You Live Like a PigView OnlineThe Stupid BetYou Live Like a PigYou Live Like a Pig Spike grumbled more then his usual grumblings this early morning as another gals night in at the castle raged through his head. A guys night out would of been so much better if his guys were there, But Big Mack had other plans and Fluttershy had Discord watching her little angels at her cottage. Amazing what a shy little pegasus could do to the once mighty Lord of Chaos. The business in the little dragons room was once again interrupted as the toothpaste flowed and the soap bubbled, It didn't matter how many bathrooms there were. That stupid castle always put Spike in the one that anymare needed at that exact same moment. Twilight, Sunset Glimmer, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Derpy. Even the castle tours had to be discontinued as tourists were at the mercy of the random eyeful of dragon booty. Spike shook his head with a face full of claw, He was counting his blessings that a certain unicorn mare had yet to stumble in on his morning routine. Maybe this stupid castle knew that if it would embarrass him in front of her that this crystal castle would be lunch for a vengeful dragon. Nah, he remembered his first and last castle tasting and that scorched bathroom now sealed to prevent its use, Keeping it a secret from Twilight was one of the promises kept as somepony received a new kite as needed for her recreational requirements. Promises, Spike was well aware of what they were. A girls night, A few hoofs of bridge, drinks and gossip. Who knew a ladies game could be so cut throat, and the language rough enough to make the saltiest sailor blush! As the bit piles grew the idea of a more daring line of wagers came to the night air as slips of script detailing tasks and favors came into play. The night drew to a close with many a mare passed out around the table their comfy pillows their last resting place. The bit piles and scripts of daring deeds yet to be paid also slept quietly through until morning. ----------House Maid for a Day----------- Spike waddled along the path to repay the daring deed lost to Rainbow "Daring" Dash, He must of been hanging out too much at Rarity's Boutique as his joking wager was to have the number one Wonderbolt chow down on a nacho chip. But it wasn't just an ordinary cheese topped crispy cruncher, It had a lone passenger, a big ol green horse fly buzzing in all its glory fighting for it's life. Spike thought Dashy didn't have the guts to do it... A poor defenseless horse fly. "CRUNCH" "What? What do you think happens at every show? Do you know how many bugs I get into my teeth just in one stunt alone?" Fluttershy went into a tizzy as Rarity turned green and gagged when Twilight went on to lecture about the benefits if eating bugs. Yea bugs and right now what bugged our glorious hero of the Crystal Empire was the thought of cleaning Rainbows hooch that cloud piled into the shape of a mansion tethered to a stake on the out skirts of Ponyville. Rainbow had already arrived leaving the door open letting Spike see the coming battle zone of trash, dirty laundry, pizza boxes and all other signs of "YOU LIVE LIKE A PIG". Was it just him or was all his pony friends sort of dirty to his dragon standards? One. Twilights usual lack of cleanliness during her exam crams. Two. Apple Jacks farm and her pig sty. Three. Raritys inspiration room Four. Pinkie and the Cakes usual muck of frosting and things popping out of her mane and tail. Then you had Sweet little Fluttershy and her cottage full of critters, of course lets not forget Discords influence even if that lava flow through the living room was nice. Spike viewed Rainbows area of what could be called a teenaged wasteland plus a decade and if he had hopes of finishing before lunch it died a raunchy death smelling like stale food and sweating pegasus with accents of tortoise poop. His eyes watered.His ear flukes picked up the sound of rushing wings as Rainbow "Late As Always" Dash came out of the back room. "Hi Spike got to rush late for practice don't forget to feed Tank bye!" Rainbows burst of speed caught our Mega Maid off guard, Spike spun like a draconic top on the tip of his tail bouncing from wall to wall like a pin ball only to tilt head first into an old container of tortoise kibbles, Wait turtles don't eat kibbles. What was... It's Tanks litter box! First things first Spike gathered what cleaning supplies that he could find, Lacking enough rags he used what was available old towels and dirty uniforms. Why not use them and launder the whole lot after scrubbing a months worth of Pegasus goo from walls floors and furniture. Spike was a master at house work after years of Twilight binges of enlightenment and utter squalor. Any trash in his immediate area was quickly incinerated as his claws shredded lose papers boxes and cups leaving the happy meal main six action figures in a stack on the table. His scrubbing mopping and scouring removed all traces of pony funk that even Rarity would approve of. Looking back at the living quarters he felt a sense of pride of doing a great job, gathering his rags and bucket he turned to the kitchen door and marched right into a nightmare that was only dwarfed by Sweetie Belles cooking. ---------------Seamstress for a Few Hours------------ Rarity stood before the entry of Rainbows estate that was left wide open to all of Equestria, staked to the anchors so that any creature might wonder in and make itself at home and home indeed the whole foyer looked clean fresh and very inviting. She marveled at the glossy floors and the smell of flowers filled her nose as she saw the little dolls stacked on the table, Little Twilight Sparkle, Little Apple Jack, Pinkie Pie, Miss Fluttershy and then there was that moment of blushing of two action figures getting a little action. Rarity quickly rearranged the love struck dolls in a more family friendly way and a little less racy. "After all I am a lady" Her horn sparked the dolls to life in a little dance of whimsy. A romantic tale of a shy love struck Dragon in a ponies world. Rarity hummed a little tune as her little fantasy took off on its own. A strange noise filled her ears. A scratching and grunting was now interrupting her fun and it was getting louder and closer. She crept to the kitchen entry and screamed in surprise at an eight legged beast covered in grime and goo with small evil eyes and a large armored head approaching as if to do battle its legs swinging, some with weapons and others with sharp claws and that smell! Rarity gaged and dropped the figures ready for action her blast centered on the monster before her. Nothing deadly Celesta knows how Fluttershy would react if she knowingly killed any creature unless it was absolutely necessary. A resounding scream echoed through the mansion as the beasts head flew off rolling into the foyer as is remaining body ran in circles spouting flame, fabric and all types of cleaning tools. Rarity stared at what was now Spike smoldering mad his arms crossed across his chest fuming at the alabaster mare waiting for an explanation but asking a simple question "So you didn't see me, Did you?" "I'm so sorry Precious Scales, I didn't see you there, please accept my sincerest apologies, You didn't see anything, Did you?" "No I didn't see you playing with those dolls, Where's Tank?" Time stood still for the two as they looked at the positions of the two action figures fused nose to nose in a permanent kiss. Spike and Rarity stood looking blankly at the dolls, Action Figures, Toy Surprises. Oh what ever! They both knew of each others affections, for the record all of Equestria silently cheered for the two silly heros tippy hoofing and sweet sideward glances. Rarity cleared her throat and shuttered, Now that it was mentioned the whole mansion shuttered as a grunt was heard out the foyer. They stumbled across the floor and looked down at a sight never seen before, It was Tank looking up with a grin of wicked ideas, a tortoise of evil, a single claw raised in defiance? Was he snickering at the two dummies stuck in a cloud mansion now dozens of hoofs above its last known mourning the lines to the anchors bit clean through. TANK!
You Smell Like One TooView OnlineThe Stupid BetYou Smell Like One TooYou Smell Like One Too As the mansion floated higher into the sky Rarity and Spike thought of their situation and quick as a flash Spike snapped his fingers with an idea. She watched him race into the kitchen heard a little rummaging through the fridge and it's door slam shut, Spike returned and looked at Tank still smirking up at the two. She watched as he launched two balls of lettuce at the still snickering turtle. Spike saw her rolling her eyes as if to say "What a feeble act of revenge" Spike just shrugged and replied "Rainbow wanted me to feed Tank, I didn't want to let her down" as they saw the lettuce orbs splat below well off target. Looked like Tank was going to get a little exercise too. Rarity and Spike resumed their tasks her sewing and his cleaning, the high noon sun beat down through the sky lights. The temperature continued to climb and areas of the roof evaporated exposing more enchanted floor to the rays of the sun."Spikey dear can you please turn down the thermostat it's positively sweltering, the humidity is almost like Aloe's Spa". He stopped and searched the walls for anything that looked like a knob and reached the conclusion as his claws went in through a wall "Must be a Pegasus thing" his search cut short he looked at the lovely mare and gasped "Your mane!" Spike saw her distress and began to fan her with his wings, a little at first as the wind blew tuffs of wall and little clouds by her muzzle. She eyed his efforts and noticed one wing drooping as it worked "Precious Scales what's wrong with your wing are you in pain?" His obvious expression was all the answer she needed "Oh my Spikey!" She rushed to him using her horn to stop his fanning and cradle her little Spikey Wikey and pampered his injury as he floated over next to her his expressions a mixture of annoyance, surprise and glee. Her magical field tickled his scales just like Twilights teasing and pillow fights when he was younger but with the smell of Jasmin and vanilla with a hint of avocado where Twilights was of coffee, horse sweat and musty paper. He stopped struggling as her eyes met his, the long pause as the two eyed each other blushing quietly then a sniff broke the standoff with the offensive odors of wet pony hair and dragon sweat that would beat Rainbows B O plenty. "Oh Spikey pardon me for what I'm about to say but you smell like old oats, used gym clothes, stale pizza and musty tortoise droppings please forgive me". Spike raised his arms high and sniffed his pits and said "I'll have to agree with you on that". She stifled a little giggle and promptly marched to the bathroom "Time for some needed sanitary actions Spikey Boo". Spike was along for the ride but right now a little attention was welcomed even if he had no idea to what was coming next. The shower was refreshing and Rarity was quickly in and out where Spike though smaller required a more hoofs on approach with his new wings preventing his reaching his back. To his surprise she was back behind him scrubbing away and if he was the thinking drake who was the assistant to the Princess if Friendship his assumption was she was enjoying it more then his own blissful scrub down by the most fabulous mare in Equestria who now had a hoofful of his dragon booty. Spikes heart stopped as he turned to see her staring at him. He was snoot to snoot and this time the long pause was ended with mashing lips his toes and her hooves on their tippy ends each embraced in a hug. She whispered "You had me when you waddled away in anger Spikey boo". Spike shyly whispered back "You've always had me". As much as they both adored those three hour bubble baths this too came to an end the last of their chores yet to be finished. After a clean home and a cleaner twosome, the small dragon and lady unicorn waited for the answer to Spikes request for rescue from the floating mansion. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Son, I have contacted Twilight and informed her of your request for transport, her response was to stay the night as everypony was out on a friendship emergency. Stay put stay tight and don't let the bed bugs bite. Help will arrive in the morning. P.S. Rainbow Dash said you may feast on anything in her abode, but do leave her Ice Cream alone. God Ruler of Equestria XOXOXO Mom, . _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Rarity gasped with surprise "Mom?" Spike just rolled his eyes "Just like her to do nothing when trouble shows its ugly head, Don't you ever notice..." He talked to nopony in particular as he rummaged through the kitchen making a meal out of leftovers, setting a quick table for two, talking away about Ponyville the crisis capitol of Equestria, his mom and definitely emptying the forbidden ice cream containers. After all a 'romantic' evenings always finish well with big bowls of your favorite ice cream. The stars shown through the cloud ceiling full of holes as the two laid back on the guest couch watching Lunas handy work. Rarity snuggled her dragon the side his face mushed into her fluff below her chin as he ran his claws through her curly main. She quietly mused "Spikey If I ever lose a bet with Rainbow Dash again I would happily lose all over just to have a little quality time with my favorite dragon" She felt him wiggle deeper into the embrace as he extended his wings covering her like a squat little purple blanket, She noticed the silky texture of his scales and the finer softness of the wing membranes. For being a lava swimming, flying flame thrower with a snarky attitude, He was quite the devoted gentledrake any mare could fall for. Her dream was all Lunas fault it had to be! A lovely dream of grace, grandeur, great fashions and grungy fire breathing foals. A time for fantasy, a time to wish and now was the time to be rudely awoken by the flashes of a camera and the riotous laughter of one Rainbow Dash! "Wake up sleepy heads it's ten in the morning!" Rainbow yelled at both of the couch dwellers as she inspected their finished tasks "Aw come on!" Dash whined "Who ate all my favorite ice cream! I told you guys not to mess with my stash!" Spike rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as Rarity stood up "You don't expect to let your guests starve after a days labor do you?" Rainbow spun around "No biggie I'll have enough bits for more after I show AJ this" her hooves full of photos of Spike and Rarity both wrapped up together on the couch "A bets a bet for a big bag full of bits, See ya!" Spike and Rarity took chase after the cackling Wonderbolt through the foyer stopping short of the open front door to see her gaining altitude through the sky."Rainbow Dash how dare you leave us here! Rainbow Dash you will rue the day!" "Ah Rarity we're back down from where we started yesterday, look" Spike pointed at the path and the same old anchors with new ropes freshly tied with Tank still chomping on yesterdays squashed ball of lettuce. "Come along Spikey we have some plans to formulate, dreadfully fabulous plans after all a bet is a bet". Spike followed along for what ever plans she had for the future Rainbow Dash he knew without a doubt they would be fabulous.
You Squeal Like A FillyView OnlineThe Stupid BetYou Squeal Like A FillyYou Squeal Like A Filly "Come along Spike" Twilight called through the Crystal castle "You can't be late for the wedding Rarity and the others are waiting!" Spike nervously adjusted his tux for the umpteenth time, The clock was ticking and all the plans would be ruined if he made one misstep or over looked any item from Twilights checklist. They exited the Crystal Castles gift shop and locked the door as the mane six plushies and other souvenirs were all the rave this season. Spike strutted along side the Princess of Friendship though the best he could do was a fast waddle. Really after all the growing and wing things it was all he could really do to keep up. They passed the Carousel Boutique now closed for renovations, Spike fondly remember all the fun nights after their second, third, fourth, fifth, 'date' you get the idea they made a lot of dresses, frocks, gowns, robes, apparel, ensembles, nighties and outfits. Twilight saw his expression "Come on Romeo you'll have plenty of free time before school lets out, Get a move on!" "Alright Twi I'm moving I'm moving" his giggling brought a spring to their trotting, picking up the pace. The Main hall where they all met so many years before brought back memories, Cider seasons came and went, foes were defeated and friendships blossomed. Rarity stood by the podium with Rainbow by her side the whole of Ponyville was in attendance waiting for the monumental event of the joining of an Element of Harmony and her hero. Spike took his place still nervous but under control as Twilight beamed at the couples, another friendship moving on to bigger and better things. The decorations had style and flare something that was a trademark of the fashion pony in his life. Tank hovered attached to his Magicopter gesturing at Spike and hoof bumping Rainbow as Celestia herself was to evoke the vows to her loyal subjects. "We are gathered once again in the joining of these two Equestrian heros in matrimony, If anypony has an objection may they speak now or forever hold their peace" She waited for any signs of discord and continued " I now pronounce you Mare and Mate, You may kiss the bride" As the two were lip locked Apple Jack whistled and yelled "Save that for later or get a motel room we got vittles getting cold in the reception room! Come and get it!". The crowd thinned moving a slow and steady pace well wishing the couple, Rarity glided along next to the now wedded speedster "Well Rainbow I have mine and you now have yours!" Dashie smiled "So have I ruined the day?" Rarity face hoofed "Rue the day darling Rue the day". Rarity smiled a sly smile "Come along darlings the reception calls" She turned holding her head high strutting like the fashion plate she was with a half asleep hybrid sitting in her saddle bag and seven others marching along their scales and fur glistening in the light. All strutting with a solid lock step like a little pongon army "Spikey dear come along". Spike lingered by Rainbow giving her a hug as he always did to all the mares in his life "Congratulations Rainbow and thanks for cutting those ropes, if you hadn't of pranked us all those years ago we'd might of not of been, Know what I mean?" Rainbow just stared at him with a blank expression trying to figure what the dragon said. "Ah Spike I only tied my house back from where it took off and Rarity has those pictures in your scrap book, What gives?" "I thought you..." Tank hovered by the scaled purple dummy blowing a raspberry while giving the rude single claw gesture before landing next to Fluttershy and snapping his claws near her flowing pink mane waiting for a brood of white bunnies to bring out the buck of the family. Angle looked briefly at the tortoise before disappearing back in the pink sanctuary only to paw out a big bags of bits to Tank who quickly deposited the booty into his shell. Fluttershy blushed as she translated Angels squeaks "Oh my Tank bet Angel that Spike wasn't as clueless as he thought" She eyed the bunny "Angel how could you?" Her eyes widened as he squeaked more answers, more then she wanted to hear "Bits... Oh a big bunch of bits? and talking of big, Raritys plot is getting as big as Celestias, Angel you little brute, you're getting a time out with Discord!" Spike leaned low staring down the two gamblers "I like her plot just the way it is and I got news for you , All your babies are girls!" Before the show down escalated into a miniature fur ball brawl Raritys voice cut through the guests "Spike, Crissy set fire to the decorations again!" "Coming coming ! Twilight get a number two going!" Spike exited darting stage right as Rainbow leaned down to their level "So bud where's my cut?" Tank only smiled that slow calculated smile and gave his hero a wink as Flutttershy spoke "No Squealing like a filly. and if Soarin ever makes you cry it had better be out of happiness or. . . Tank?! Shy squealed in surprise "How can you say such horrible things?" The tortoise only smiled a wicked smile. Author's Note This was done as a request , for who I've forgotten the name and my notifications deleted. . . So now we all have to live with this.
