Chapters Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
The Start of Something New
Author's Note
Hello, and welcome! Here follows the sequel to Principal Celestia Hunts the Undead , and I highly recommend you read that first to understand the general background of events. If you are determined to press on without, I suppose it may be enough to know Principal Celestia adopted Sunset and they fight monsters together.
For those returning, we pick up the story with a college-age Sunset, and there are a few things I’d like to note:
1) The AU tag was added to this fic, as Sunset and company don’t have superpowers. No diamond shields, mind reading, etc. The Rainbooms sometimes weirdly grow ears and shoot rainbows when playing music, but that’s about it.
2) While most late-era EQG stuff will be ignored, a character from the “Forgotten Friendship” special plays a prominent role in this story. I do recommend FF as a very good addition to the series, and viewing it will be helpful in establishing what her deal is.
I should also note this world is completely separate from Appledagio and Me and My Siren, for those of you who read me there.
And I guess as a final word, because it came up a couple times last fic – things like mind-control, kidnapping, and horrors from beyond human ken are pretty serious issues, which realistically shouldn’t be addressed by teens and public educators with illegal firearms. While “it’s just a cartoon” is a bit of a cop-out, some mix of action-movie and cartoon logic pervades these stories, and if something seems wrong or inappropriate, it’s probably best to keep that lens in mind.
Away, we go!
Hail Tirek
The Start of Something New
For most students, graduation from high school brought a relieving promise of freedom. They would depart their city or even state on some pretext of education or employment, seeking above all liberation from parental authority.
Sunset Shimmer was not most students. Principal Celestia – the only parent she ever had – adopted her two months before she turned eighteen. A quiet scramble on both their parts ended with plans for bus and bike routes between the house and Canterlot College come graduation. Neither had been ready to say goodbye.
“...It didn’t work.” Celestia talked distractedly over the phone, one hand balancing a cardboard box. “Her bike got stolen, so I bought her a new one with a good lock. Then that got stolen, lock and all. And those buses… ugh. Sunset would come home at midnight, then wake at five to bus back for her morning class. One time the late bus just didn’t show, and thank heavens Luna was awake to drive her home in the middle of the night.”
She stumbled, bringing a porcelain clinking from the box. “Sorry, Redheart, I’ll call you back. I need my hands.”
Celestia pocketed the phone and turned both arms to her load, easily moving it into the last box-shaped space left in the SUV.
“Nice of Cheerilee to lend her car… oh, Sunset? What’s that?”
The flame-haired teen – “teen” for only six more months – had emerged out the side door. She grinned sheepishly and held up a dusty brown lamp in one hand and battered iron pot in the other. “Found these in the basement. Luna said I could have them.”
“No objections.” Celestia smiled faintly as Sunset jammed her finds into the loaded car. “Textbooks packed?”
“All five-hundred dollars’ worth.”
“Toothbrush?”
“Mom!” Sunset laughed. Green eyes found pink, and she capped it with an easy grin. “Of course. And if I somehow forgot, I can bus home and get it. I’m going to a dorm, not the moon.”
“Just being safe,” Celestia said. “Speaking of which: handgun?”
“In the concealed carry.” Sunset patted a slight bulge at her jacket’s side. “And before you ask, silver bullets are in the purse, and the light gun is packed with my underwear.”
Celestia began raising a finger for ‘speech mode,’ but Sunset caught the gesture and went on. “I’m not allowed to hunt monsters, investigate, or even poke into things without getting you first, or Miss Harshwhinny if it happens while you’re on vacation. These tools are only for immediate self-defense, and it’s my responsibility to ensure they stay in working order.”
Celestia lowered the finger, her smile growing. “I’ll repeat myself as much as I like, young lady. I’ll be worried about you.”
Sunset moved as the conversation went on, closing the hatchback only to find it jammed just in front of the latch. Frowning, she gave it a shove. A box crunched, porcelain clinked, and the door locked in place.
“I’ve lived in barns, subway terminals, the old rec building before it got demolished… a dorm will be fine. Plus I’m rooming with Applejack, and if there’s one person who can keep me on the straight and narrow, it’s her.”
“The rest of your friends will be there too, right?”
Sunset shrugged. “Not ‘the rest,’ but all the girls. AJ’s the only one at my dorm, though. Rarity and Rainbow are rooming together – and won’t that be a treat – and the rest of the guys are commuting from home. I had a couple classes with Rainbow and Pinkie last year, but that’ll change as my load gets more nursing-focused.”
The grin flashed teeth. “So if I manage to starve myself, they’ll be there to save me.”
“It’s good to have people you can count on,” Celestia said serenely.
Another shrug from Sunset. “Not for monster hunting.”
“That will not be relevant, now will it?” came the rather more edged response. “Your grades were good last year, but the classes will grow more difficult. Stay focused, and if you’re at a party remember to–”
“Floss your teeth, go to bed at nine, and remember to call your mother so she doesn’t grouse to your aunt.”
Rustling from a last ill-packed box followed Luna’s voice, announcing her exit from the house. “Any more space in there?”
Sunset accepted the cardboard load and moved to the forward doors. “I’ll just put my feet up on it.”
“Cool.” Luna cracked her neck to each side. “So, I caught you guys at the grades and party lecture. Means we were after the no-hunting lecture, right?”
Sunset traded her a smirk. “And before the safe sex lecture. Good timing, thanks Aunt Luna.”
“I’m her mother,” Celestia announced sternly, a humored smile creeping up through her scowl. “It is my right and prerogative to nag as I seeYARGH!”
Luna’s fingers had closed around her ribs, drawing a tickled yelp. Celestia tittered and gave ground before her leering sibling, backpedaling around the SUV as Luna gave chase.
“Well it’s my right to do this as both the annoying little sister and the cool aunt, soYEEP!”
Longer fingers and a generally less ticklish disposition gave Celestia an edge as she abruptly turned and fought. A brief, giggling battle sent Luna in retreat, though Celestia halted pursuit at Sunset’s humored gaze.
“She started it,” Celestia huffed.
“At least you won’t get empty nest syndrome.”
“She totally will,” Luna called, defiant on the opposite side of the car.
“Laugh away, you two.” Celestia haughtily tilted her head, giving her beanpole build an even greater height. “Perhaps I will find comfort in the arms of my boyfriend.”
Luna chuckled. “The boyfriend we mysteriously have not met.”
“We’ve been together three weeks, Luna. You will.” Celestia deflated from the arrogant pose, returning to Sunset with calm smile and shiny eyes. “If that’s everything, we should leave now. Hard as it was getting it all packed, next we have to move you to a sixth-floor dorm.”
Canterlot College was a relatively new addition to the city, and one that suited its host well. Modern architecture split the campus evenly between pleasant buildings and ones that tried too hard to be ‘artsy,’ with grassy fields, frat houses, and hipster stores sown in between. Tech-friendly and relatively inexpensive, the place had become a favorite for local graduates uninterested in leaving town. Rubbernecking from the car gave Sunset glimpses of Spitfire and Fluttershy, then Sugarcoat sulking at a cafe table.
A quick check of the map revealed their destination to be the Dali Hall – in the bottom corner of campus, as if some wise planner had purposefully tucked it away from the trendy gateway and shops. A talentless vomit of colors splattered it from top to bottom, relieved only by graffiti someone thoughtfully added to one side.
Check-in and keys gave Sunset her first impression of the interior – oddly cramped, and with a lingering smell of cigarettes in the lobby. Dali Hall sat square at the bottom of the dorms’ pecking order, catering only to light-pursed families with no better options.
Fortunately, Celestia’s prediction of a hard time unloading proved false with the addition of Applejack – Sunset’s friend and new roommate, courtesy of the long distance to Sweet Apple Acres. The muscular farmer got one heavy easy chair to the dorm while the other three panted behind with the second, and then made efficient time carrying several boxes with her next trip upwards.
“T’aint no pony palace,” Applejack said, somehow freeing a hand to show Sunset in. “But better than you might guess.”
Their bedroom resembled a ship’s cabin more than an apartment, but such was not their only space. A living room sat between it and the hall, accessible by their keys and only shared by students in the cabin next door. Applejack’s old television occupied a corner comfortably with a few chairs, leaving plenty of space for visits and hobbies.
Applejack made a face as show tunes sounded from the TV. “When did I… hang a tick.”
She walked over and turned it off, boxes still in hand. “Anyway, I don’t know who our neighbors will be. Fair warning, if they’re loud music at night types, we’ll have words.”
Celestia followed them in, then gave Sunset a conspiratorial smile. “Start unpacking. Luna and I will handle moving things from the car.”
“Voluntell me, why don’cha.” But Luna gave a snarky smile, then sped to catch up with her sister. Laughter sounded in their wake, drawing a wide grin out of Applejack.
“Those ladies have gotten a lot happier over the years. Reckon y’all had something to do with it, hm?”
Sunset looked down and away, blushing. “Yeah, maybe. You’ve been here since graduation, right? What happened with your old roommate?”
“Closets are for brooms.” Applejack pulled a pillow from one of the boxes and tossed it onto Sunset’s bed. “I told her upfront that what they say about girls who wear flannel is true. She spent the rest of the semester acting worried I was gonna jump her. She’s gone, and no hard feelings, but good riddance.”
“Good riddance,” Sunset echoed, giving AJ’s shoulder a companionable pat. A quick scan of her face showed humor without hurt, so Sunset went on and scooped up her underwear. “Just us two for now, huh?”
“Hi, Sunset.”
A quiet voice from the TV corner startled them enough for Sunset to launch her unmentionables into the air. They spun around to see a freckled green girl in cargo pants and beige sweater, perched facing the blank TV.
Applejack gave a loud whistle and laugh. “I’ll be, Wallflower Blush! You’re gonna be our suite-mate?”
“I’ve been here since last semester.”
The smile froze on Applejack’s face. Slowly it withered, and she pulled her hat down over her eyes. “And I turned off the TV on you… sorry, girl.”
Sunset moved to cover her friend’s faux pas . “I didn’t know you stayed in Canterlot.”
“I was in your statistics class last semester, and your English class the one before that.”
“Tirek’s teeth!” Sunset slapped a hand to her face and dragged it down with a groan. “Wallflower, I’m sorry, I don’t know why this happens.”
The small girl chuckled at their embarrassment, seeming to grin in genuine good faith as she waved them to stop. “It’s alright, I’m used to it. I know you guys are trying, and I’ve learned to see the good in how I am.”
Sunset peeked through her fingers. “Really?”
Almost two years ago, Principal Cinch infected her student body with brain worms and sent them as a zombie-like swarm against Canterlot High in her bid to overturn the results of the Friendship Games. One such encounter in that time saw Aria Blaze and Micro Chips dashing madly for the gym and tentative safety, pursued by a horde of slobbering preppies.
...Right past Wallflower Blush. She made her way to the exit to find it guarded by infected students, but a quiet “Excuse me,” and rigorous avoidance of eye contact allowed her to slip past them and escape.
“Really.” Wallflower nodded, honestly in better cheer than Sunset had ever seen. “Twilight even looked at me with some kind of magic detector. It found nothing… go figure, right? She thinks this might be a side effect of me over-using the memory stone. But don’t worry, I’ll speak up if I need to.”
“Well...” Applejack scratched the back of her head, then shrugged. “One roommate to go, I suppose.”
Wallflower pointed to her bedroom. “She’s here. Or rather, she moved in yesterday.”
“Anyone we know?” Sunset ventured.
Green bangs frayed listlessly as Wallflower bobbed her head. “Yeah, she was in our cl–”
The door burst open, followed by Luna and two tumbling boxes. “Okay! AJ, Sunset, little help?”
“I said to only carry one,” Celestia followed in as the rest scrambled with Luna’s load.
“And I saved us a trip, so you’re welcome. Gah!” Luna let the last box fall and waved her arms out, working some life back into them. “Okay, I’m hungry. Let’s hit that sushi place and… oh, Applejack? You’re welcome to come with, I guess.”
A twitch rippled Celestia’s placid surface, not unnoticed by Applejack. “Nah, thank you kindly. This seems like a big family moment, leaving the nest and all. I’ll walk you down.”
Luna departed, followed by Sunset. Applejack made to walk after them when a callused pink hand settled on her shoulder.
“Thank you.”
Applejack gave the hand an easy pat. “Don’t be a stranger now, Principal.”
“You graduated, Applejack. Call me Celestia.”
The pair shared a kindly smile and stepped out, with Celestia conscientiously turning off the lights on her way.
Celestia waited until they were done eating to offer a crinkled envelope from her jacket. Sunset opened it to find an expected card, signed by Celestia and Luna. Less expected was the slip of paper that fell out, and the number of zeroes written on the line marked “check amount.”
“Mom...” Flabbergasted, Sunset sank back in her seat. “I can’t accept this.”
Luna cut in, fishing through her purse. “It’s not that much, kiddo. The dorm rent and groceries will cut it down to size before the year’s out. On the subject, here’s a flier for free dinner at some Greek house.”
“Lulu and I talked about this,” Celestia said as Luna passed Sunset a folded paper. “We don’t want you to spend weekends and evenings at work. We want you to study hard and have fun.”
Sunset shook her head vehemently. “No, listen guys: I know you’re already taking out loans for me, and I know you’re not rich to begin with. Whether you got this from the vampire hunting or your Hawaii fund, I won’t have you guys crippling yourselves for me like that.”
“Oh, no worries at all!” Luna laughed, then drained the last of her coffee. “This came from outside all that.”
“Where? Or rather, how?” Sunset looked between grinning Luna and tea-sipping Celestia, confusion marking her face.
Luna settled back, smirked, and gestured with her head to Celestia. The elder sister gently returned her tea to the table with a soft clink.
“Do you remember when Princess Celestia visited, and gave us the box when she left?”
Sunset nodded. “The candy box, yeah.”
“It was gold.” Celestia took another sip. “Then… um, then last Christmas she sent me a lovely opal brooch.”
Sunset blinked.
Then twisted her head to stare sideways as the coin dropped. “You pawned the gifts Princess Celestia gave you?”
Celestia’s response came with the practiced tone of one who argued the same in a mirror. “I think the good princess would be far more interested in seeing you happy than in me hoarding her presents. It is on you to ensure the gift is budgeted well.”
Celestia would not hear another word of debate, and that was that. The group paid and departed, though Sunset paused outside as they came back to the dorm.
“Sunset…?” Celestia turned to find her daughter staring back to her.
“This is it, isn’t it?”
The words tumbled brokenly from Sunset’s mouth, and the immediate hug from mother and aunt did not interrupt. “The end. I was with you guys for so little time, and… and...”
“And you’re not going anywhere.” Gently, firmly, Celestia held her steady. “We’re not going anywhere, either. We’ll just live in different places. Like Luna and I, how we have our own bedrooms now. Change is scary, but it often turns out well. You taught us that.”
She produced a handkerchief and dabbed at Sunset’s eyes. “We’re a phone call away. Or a text. And we love you. Study hard, have fun. We don’t leave on vacation for another few weeks, so visit sometime before then and tell us how you’re doing.”
Luna stepped away, letting Sunset bring both arms up to wrap tightly around her mother.
A wet sniff broke the evening calm, and Sunset continued haltingly. “I know all that, I… I don’t know why I’m suddenly like this. Something… the help moving, the help with everything, the money, all those times caring for me...”
She swallowed hard and looked up to Celestia – still wet-eyed, but beaming. “I love you. And I know you love me.”
They kissed chastely on the lips and broke apart, each waving goodbye. Luna uncharacteristically climbed into the driver’s seat, and Celestia sat down beside her as Sunset entered the dorm.
Luna started the engine, and without looking produced her own handkerchief. She felt it quickly snatch from her grip, then heard a wet trumpet blare from Celestia’s seat.
“I’m impressed you kept it together that long,” Luna said, driving away as Celestia blew her nose again.
“I’m not falling apart,” Celestia insisted, folding the handkerchief to a dry side and passing a wrist over her eyes. “I just… I’m a little...”
A third trumpet went off, this one with a shrill honk at the end. Luna sighed, switching on music as they drove off into the twilight.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Two years is not enough time to get over a messy breakup
Author's Note
I don’t feel the need to neatly tie off every single thread from the first story, so if anyone has a question about those or anything for the characters or setting, feel free to ask and I will answer.
Two years is not enough time to get over a messy breakup
Sunset had gotten a hold of herself by the time the elevator opened on the sixth floor. Still no idea what came over her outside, just…
Love.
“And back to the real world,” she grumbled with a wry smile. The dorm key jammed in its lock, necessitating a forceful twist to open it just as Applejack reached for the handle on the other side.
“Thought it was you.” Applejack stepped aside and closed the door behind Sunset. “Yeah, these keys ain’t the best. Try pulling it out a hair once you’re in all the way, helps stop them from jamming.”
“Thanks.” Sunset walked over to her bed and tossed her leather jacket on top. Much more carefully, she removed the pistol from her chest holster and slid it into a lockbox, along with her wallet and rings.
Muffled steps and the jangle of keys from the hall drew a chuckle from Applejack. “Here’s our fourth, coming up. Or Wallflower.”
“Right where you left me, Applejack.”
“Land’s sake, girl, we should put a bell on you.”
Sunset returned to the common room to find Applejack pinching her nose as a key ground painfully into the hallway lock. The handle rattled, but did not turn.
“I gotcha,” Applejack called out. She moved over and pulled the door open for Wallflower’s roommate.
Hair was the first thing Sunset noticed. So much she fancied she could taste it in the air, and could certainly smell the expensive oils seeped into the great volume of orange curls.
Knife-heeled, bustier-than-thou Adagio Dazzle stood beneath the hair, now looking up from her phone to trade quizzical glares with Applejack.
Then, with one smooth motion, Applejack closed the door in her face.
“Was that your roommate?” Sunset asked, dreading the answer.
Wallflower nodded. “Yep.”
“Peachy,” Applejack growled.
Wallflower shifted in her chair to look back at them. “Messy breakup?”
“Could say that, yeah.” Applejack shook her head, glaring off to the side. “Some two years ago. I wanted a girlfriend, she wanted an ATM. Played me for a dang fool, she did.”
“Lucky,” Wallflower sighed, and turned back to the TV.
“She might’ve grown up,” Sunset said as Adagio fidgeted with her key and tried again. “I’m opening the door. Try to live and let live.”
Applejack shrugged, hands closed into loose fists. “I’ll let her live, but don’t ask for more.”
The door opened effortlessly from Sunset’s side, bringing her nose-to-nose with Adagio’s annoyance.
“You too?”
“Yep.” Sunset stepped off to the side. “AJ and I are your dorm-mates.”
Adagio swept past her, a timed shake of the head slapping curls onto Sunset’s face. “Whatever. I don’t hold a grudge.”
“You don’t hold a grudge?” Applejack snapped. “All I know from you is you kissing me out of my wallet after trying to kill us all at the band battle.”
Adagio only watched her sidelong, and offered an aggressive smirk. “And all I know from you lot is robbing my siren powers, thinking a few kind words make up for it, and then Sunshit over there attacked me in the hall when she learned they don’t.”
Sunset cut in firmly, committed to her role as peacemaker. “So, we have a bad history from over a year ago. We need to move past this because we are capable of making life hell for each other. What say we back off and lay some ground rules?”
Adagio ticked off points across her plastic nails. “No loud music at night, clean up after yourself, and Adagio gets the shower when she wants it.”
Applejack gave a snort. “Adagio gets the shower when she gets there first. Aside from that, yeah, fine. And don’t dare do to Wallflower what you did to me.”
“Who?”
“I’m your roommate,” Wallflower called helpfully from her seat.
Adagio took in Wallflower’s gangly form and stained clothes, then turned to Applejack with rolling eyes. “No worries, there. But I admit, I’m surprised to see you. You always seemed like less of a college girl and more a ‘work the farm til I die’ type.”
“Business major.” Applejack jerked a thumb at her chest. “Just like Dad, gotta keep things smart if we don’t want to sell out. How about you? I always figured you’d set yourself up with a sugar daddy.”
“Do I look like my name’s Sonata?” Adagio huffed and threw out her curls. “Fine, I’m studying voice acting, violin, and piano. Because no one cares about talent if you didn’t do college, which is premium-grade human stupidity but no one asked me.”
She leaned onto her bedroom door, watching the others with a neutral frown. “Now, look. I hate to say this, but the Dali Hall cafeteria is closed on weekends because I guess fuck poor students. It’ll be cheaper if we pool our resources for groceries.”
Applejack looked her up and down. “Y’all got rings, bracelets, and seventy dollar nails, and expect me to believe you’re broke. Sounds like someone wants to hop on a gravy train.”
Adagio crossed her arms. “I’ll do exactly one-quarter of the cooking, so go hump a cactus.”
“If I may interject,” Sunset cut in again, borrowing just a little of Celestia’s sternness. “That all sounds good, especially since tomorrow’s Saturday. We can shop in the morning, but here’s an idea for dinner.”
She pulled out the flier Luna gave her and proffered it to the others. “One of the Greek frats is having a big back to school party, open to all students. Ribs, shrimp, potato salad, fruit bowls… definitely the best free lunch we’ll ever have without joining politics.”
“I never get to eat shrimp,” Applejack sighed happily. “Someone be ready to drag me home.”
Adagio eyed the flier. “Free food is good food. May I take a closer look?”
Sunset surrendered the paper, and Adagio released a smile as she studied the letters on top. “Thought so… this isn’t Greek, it’s Sumerian.”
She glanced up, and the smile morphed to a smirk. “I did live on Earth for a thousand years, you know.”
“Huh.” Pleased at least for the cooling tensions, Sunset gestured for her to continue. “What does it say?”
Adagio shrugged and handed the flier back. “Sumerian was before even my time, though I studied it in Persia. Something, something… flesh? Life? Endless life and something about flesh? There’s no context, so I don’t really know.”
“...Huh,” Sunset said again, this time a bit more cautiously. “Best guess? And don’t be afraid to get weird.”
Adagio sniffed disdainfully and brought up her room key. “Best guess is that a pretentious twat thought it was cool and highbrow to reference Sumer. It’s nonsense, just like the Greek names.”
The room keys worked much better, and Adagio stepped inside with a lazy wave. “Anyway, food has always been a great way to start a truce. See you there.”
Sunset distractedly waved in turn, not looking as the door swung closed. “Flesh and endless life...”
She shook her head abruptly, ending the line of thought. Celestia warned her about this, the temptation to see vampires everywhere and become a paranoid shut-in. Some half-translated words didn’t form any greater threat than Twilight’s vampire role-play game, or Halloween mascots. Besides, Celestia expressly forbade her from working the business.
So Sunset wouldn’t. Nothing to investigate, after all. No sign of danger. Only some dorm-mates checking out the free food.
With silver bullets in the purse, as always.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
The pronunciation guide on the flier identified their hosts as the “Hailgrogar” fraternity, which had annexed a swath of grass around its house for the party. Tables heaped with serving trays ran down the center while hundreds of students ate, socialized, and downed beer in utter contempt of campus rules. A relatively classy air pervaded regardless, with men and women dressed well in the hopes of impressing their peers.
Designer clothes and high heels marked Adagio as fashion queen of their little group, but Sunset figured she broke the average herself. A Hemline-brand leather vest topped a blouse Rarity made, above a bright red skirt and knee-high boots. Classy and attractive, and she couldn’t resist a tittering thrill as more than one set of eyes favored her over the siren.
As for the other two… well, Applejack wasn’t so bad. The faded brown on her shirt’s armpits was barely visible, and the blue stain from her ill-chosen soda only could be seen when she gave a wide grin. Which of course was what she entered the gathering with, but at least she lacked the musty odor Wallflower carried with her. Earth-stained jeans and greasy hair completed the ensemble, rendering it perhaps a mercy her passing evoked only curious sniffs.
A black blazer and pin marked the twenty-odd Hailgrogar members floating through the crowd – wealthy, groomed young men with an eye for image. Nothing wrong with that, and Sunset found herself beaming as one caught her eyes and approached.
“Welcome, Miss! My name’s Roland, we’re happy to have you.”
He was handsome in a sharp, elfin way, with teal skin and arrowhead jaw. Faint cologne and thin dress pants spoke of preparation against September’s heat, and as Sunset opened her mouth to thank him he stepped past to the girl right behind her.
Applejack accepted his hand with a friendly grin, gracing the newcomer with every one of her blue-stained teeth. “I’m Applejack. Pleasure’s all mine, though I gotta warn you we ain’t here to pledge.”
Sunset’s opinion cooled just a little as Roland gave poor imitation of a humored laugh. “Fair, fair. Actually, I came to invite you to dine in the house. Air conditioning and a bit more sitting room for senior Hailgrogars and invited guests. We have a no-show today, and there’s no sense in letting a good seat go to waste.”
Applejack’s grin took a knowing twist, and one of her famously mobile eyebrows shot up. “I ain’t buying what you’re selling, buddy.”
Roland’s smile found its own amused tinge as he took defeat with grace. With barely a shrug he turned to Adagio and–
“Bite me, loser.”
The siren brushed past without a second look. Applejack followed, and Sunset scrambled behind after giving a quick apology.
“Nice,” Sunset said, raising her volume as they reached the murmuring crowd.
Adagio gave an airy flick of the curls, inevitably brushing a few onto Sunset. “I’m here to eat, not mate. He can give it to someone who cares.”
“Heh, for once we’re on the same page.” Applejack gave a grudging nod, though capped it with a smirk. “Seemed like your type, though. Rich.”
Adagio rolled her eyes skyward. “I told you, I’m not Aria.”
“Sonata,” Sunset gently corrected.
“Whatever.” Adagio tugged on Applejack’s shirt. “Find me the shrimp, tall girl.”
Applejack pointed, then reached back and took Adagio’s hand. “Way ahead, I’ll guide you there. Coming, Sunset?”
Sunset had cast a curious look to the frat house – no traffic moved through it, and a uniformed Hailgrogar stood guard. A flash of lavender skin near the entryway drew her gaze. “Nah, I think I see Twilight. We’ll link up later.”
Sunset weaved through the crowd, stepping and maneuvering to keep the lavender beacon in sight. A magenta stripe in the hair soon confirmed her target, though a black suit interrupted as Sunset collided with Roland.
“Excuse me,” the frat said around a harried frown, and sped on towards the house with no guest in tow.
Curious, but disinterested, Sunset found and tapped Twilight’s shoulder. The girl spun and Sunset’s smile faltered as Twilight wordlessly entered the competition for most embarrassing friend. She wore a white lab coat of all things, and barbecue sauce stained her face all the way up to the glasses. With an offending rib in each hand, Twilight went in for a hug, then seemed to think better of it and settled for a grin.
“Hi, Sunset. Sorry… people kept trying to talk to me and this seemed the best way to end it.”
Though it lacked Applejack’s height, Sunset could give a pretty good lift to her own left eyebrow. “Is this how you act at parties when we’re not there?”
“My parents made me come,” Twilight grumbled. “One of those, ‘sweetie, you’ve been locked in your lab for three days, go have fun,’ deals. The irony of such orders is lost on them.”
Sunset began shuffling through her purse. “I have some wet wipes in here… seriously, Twilight.”
“I panicked.” Twilight chuckled bashfully as Sunset busied herself washing the face. “I’ll stick with you if that’s okay. Is anyone else here?”
Sunset pitched the used wipe into a trashcan. “Hundreds, but I know what you mean. Applejack is probably wherever there’s shrimp. I came with Adagio and Wallflower, but I think we’re it as far as Rainbooms go.”
“Can we look for AJ?” Twilight stepped closer, casting a fearful look behind where others danced to a boom box. “I don’t like… you know, strangers.”
The crowd was thick and fluid enough that Sunset erred on the side of taking Twilight’s hand. “Sure thing. Show me where you got those ribs first, though. I just got here.”
A trip to the rib grills exhausted Sunset’s supply of wipes and necessitated a guilt-assuaging raid on the salad bowls. Pleasant distractions came afterwards in the form of a talented beat-boxer from Crystal Prep, as well as a drunk troublemaker being ejected by stone-faced black-suits. Sunset accepted an offered beer – her first indulgent freedom from Celestia’s vice-free household – while Twilight stuck with water.
They glimpsed Applejack through the crowd, oddly fending off another smiling, suited Hailgrogar. But she was gone by the time they reached the spot, and Twilight pointed to the side. “There’s Adagio. Being… well, I don’t really know her, but...”
“Being Adagio,” Sunset said in a resigned tone as they watched the minor drama unfold. Adagio sulked at a table with two empty beer cans around. Roland had apparently offered a classier substitution, and set down a prepared martini in front of her. Adagio seized the glass and said something lost to their distance, turning Roland’s hopeful smile into a frustrated smirk. He departed quickly, leaving Adagio to her drink.
“You see that?” Adagio grumbled as they approached, cheeks flushed and chin in hand. “Third time today. I just up and told him I’m not into guys, not that it’s any of his business. He’s not the only frat who tried, either. Rich kids thinking they deserve the hottest girls… feh. These guys are more pathetic than I am.”
Sunset made to speak. “Well… wait, what?”
“They’re more pathetic than AJ,” Adagio said – a smooth dodge, or perhaps Sunset misheard. “I still remember how she was, so shocked by erogenous company she couldn’t buy me things fast enough. Where is she, anyway?”
“Same as you, dodging frats.” Sunset pointed a thumb back the way she came. “You two have a lot of admirers.”
She frowned with the last words, feeling just one butterfly at the base of her stomach. Strange… the motives of the prowling Hailgrogars seemed obvious on the face of it. Yet the party held no shortage of attractive women, so why beat their heads against the disinterested ones?
Like a Fetlock Holmes mystery – oddities, with surely a hidden reason. A second butterfly joined the first, followed by a swarm. The holster beneath her vest proved a comfortable weight as instinct sounded its warning.
Instinct... or paranoia? Sunset didn’t know, and that felt worse than either.
“We should look for Applejack,” she said, the deathly tone startling Twilight. But Twilight gave her a serious look and nodded, and Sunset went on. “Come with us, Adagio.”
The yellow siren downed half her martini in one gulp. “Feh. Have her bring me more shrimp.”
Sunset briefly weighed arguing, then decided against. “Fine. Stay here, and don’t go with anyone.”
“Whatever,” Adagio said into the glass. Sunset lingered a moment, uncertain in her course, and used the time to try Applejack’s phone with no success. Twilight took her hand, and the pair began moving quickly through the press of bodies.
They weren’t even out of sight when Adagio’s martini ran dry. She called past Wallflower after them for a refill, but her words vanished into the crowd.
“Cool. This is fine.” She ran her tongue along the inside of the glass and resisted the impulse to hurl it away. “Shouldn’t have let him do this for me… he’s back already, ugh.”
Roland did indeed approach, this time wearing a stern expression. “Miss, are you alright? You looked flushed.”
“Of course I’m… ooh, boy.” Adagio jerked her head up to respond, unleashing a wave of vertigo. Her mouth flew open with a sudden gasp, and an abrupt sense of heat boiled up within her.
Strange, she’d drunk more than this before without problem. But it wasn’t so hot then… Mother Hydra, it was hot...
“Miss!”
The shout brought her back to reality, halfway to the ground. Roland had caught her by the arm, and another black-suit helpfully came up on the other side. Roland spoke loudly, presumably to help clear the way. “Right, let’s get you to the house. Basement, air conditioning, water.”
“I need an adult.” Adagio hiccuped and laughed at her own joke, lazily allowing them to lift her upright.
Roland gave an irate sniff. “Miss, I am the faculty preceptor for Hailgrogar. So rest assured, adults are involved… I mean, you’re all technically adults, but let’s be real.”
The man on Adagio’s left nodded, offering her a silky little smile. “Don’t worry, we’ll… take care of you.”
“Ernest.” Roland said stiffly.
“I was just–”
“Trying to be cute, and failing. Handle this, I’ll find the other.”
Too hot to think. Strange how suddenly it all came on… Adagio stumbled as Roland released his grip, and the adrenaline sparked a question in her humid mind. “Other what?”
Roland paused. “Other… drunk, yes. Walk with Ernest.”
“Hurry up, boss,” the spare frat called, now with Adagio fully leaning on him. “I, eh-heh, haven’t eaten yet.”
“Ernest, I swear… oh, excellent.” Roland swept to their left, flagging and waving over a tall, lanky woman with a bowl of iced shrimp in each hand. Applejack’s look of annoyance turned to resigned worry on seeing Adagio.
“Gol’ dangit, what’s she gotten herself into?” Applejack stacked her bowls and stepped close, passing a blessedly-cold hand over Adagio’s brow. “Hot as the devil’s porch. How much did she drink?”
Adagio gave a bleary groan. “I’m good with liquor, redneck.”
“Sure, you are,” Applejack said.
Roland tapped pensively on his knuckles. “It’d be good if someone came. Are you her friend?”
A second passed as Applejack’s mouth tightened. She looked down to Adagio’s swaying head and released a low sigh. “Yeah, I reckon so.”
“Then come with us.” Roland pointed to the Hailgrogar house. “It’s closed to the public but we can make an exception. Air conditioning and water, and we have a cot in the basement she can lie on.”
“Thank you, kindly.” Applejack tipped her hat and slid one rough hand under Adagio’s arm. “Come on, girl, let’s get you taken care of.”
“Oh, we’ll get her t –”
“Ernest.”
The door guard looked annoyed at the girls’ presence, which of course was what any observer would see. Good. He didn’t even break character when Roland gave him a thin smile as they passed into the Hailgrogar fraternity house.
The redneck commented on the lack of people. Wasn’t there supposed to be a private dinner here?
Less good, but manageable. Roland informed her the guests had come and gone, and the fraternity ended their own little party to keep peace outside. The girl nodded with the explanation, but her demeanor changed to guarded suspicion. Not a great thing, to be in an empty house like this.
Ultimately, though, she wouldn’t abandon her friend. And the suspicion eased as they descended to a bright basement which seemed to double for fancy dining. They laid the comely woman down and nursed her with some water. Then Roland gave the redneck a cup for herself. No sense in her getting dehydrated, too.
Something in Roland’s tone gave it away, or perhaps the faint scent in the offered glass. The blonde girl declined, listening too late to her instincts, and mumbled something about calling an ambulance. Her phone came out, Ernest slapped it to the floor, and a third black-suited man leaped from hiding to join their attack.
She put up a better fight than expected, even getting off a good scream. A fist knocked Ernest’s mask loose, though it proved just as well. The girl’s panicked mind seized at what laid beneath, and subduing her from there proved an easy task.
Roland assigned Ernest to prepare the ritual – dull, thankless work. Rank had its privileges, and sloppiness its penalty. He stepped upstairs with the other who joined the ambush to find the Hailgrogar bookkeeper in the hall. Them all and the door guard accounted for five alumni. One more still mingled in the crowd; he’d have to be fetched.
Questions wouldn’t wait. “Which one’s ours?”
Roland glanced at his watch. Much to do. “We’ll eat the pretty one. He can have the blonde.”
The man who joined the ambush folded his arms. “He won’t be offended?”
“He wants her blood, that’s all.” A quick check of a hand mirror showed Roland’s mask to be undamaged. “Just leave him to me. Did anyone call Caspar?”
“I tried, no response. Hard to hear out there with all the humans.”
Roland flipped out his phone, sighed, and put it away. “Alright, crunch time, everybody. I’ll look for Caspar, you lot don’t let anyone in or out. Kill if you need to. It’s gotten damn hard to keep deaths quiet, but not half as hard as they’ll make it if some snooper with a camera takes us viral.”
Not exactly a fine speech for what should be a happy day, but Roland was a firm believer in not counting his chickens in the shell. He swung open the door and walked past the guard to their porch.
“Excuse me.”
A small, green girl slipped out alongside him. Roland ignored her, using the raised height to scan for Caspar among the black-suited dupes. With no luck, he impatiently strode out to the crowd, though found himself glancing behind.
He was… missing something. Forgetting something?
No. Idle nerves, nothing more. The modern era had not been kind.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Nothing like bowel-clenching terror to help people get along
Tied back-to-back in heavy chairs, Applejack awaited her doom in that damn, innocent-looking basement alongside Adagio. She glared to the side as one of her assailants – with mask back in place – set six places at a fancy dining table while repeating variations of, “So nice of you to join us for dinner.”
“This meal will be so good you’ll never be hungry again.”
“The main course is to die for.”
Adagio announced her return to sobriety with a frustrated shout. “WE GET IT, you’re going to eat us!”
“Just you, Ginger.” Ernest said as he laid an elaborate metal candlestick on the table. “Bad luck – a whole big damn party for us to sniff out, and you two are the only good-looking virgins. And that’s stretching it for Freckles. Let me tell you, the decline of good Christian values has made it really hard to be a ghoul these days.”
Applejack blinked. Bad as things looked… “Virgin?”
“Virgin blood is like magic crude-oil,” Adagio grumbled. “It’s good for everything and everyone wants it.”
“Sure, but… you? Like a thousand years on Earth, and–”
“It works different for sirens,” Adagio hissed, then addressed their captor. “Gonna knock me out first?”
Ernest gave a snorting, pig-like laugh. “Oh, no. The magic doesn’t work if they ain’t alive and wiggling for the whole thing. No magic, no extra ten years of life, Ernest starts starts acting his age. That is to say, two-hundred, so bye-bye Ernest. Glad we get to eat you instead of Freckles – I always get stuck with a leg, and she don’t look like a foot-care kind of girl.”
Applejack’s lips pressed to a thin line. “So why me?”
“Bribe for Mister D. He knows our secret and needs virgin blood for some deal. It breaks the magic if we give away from our own, so…” Ernest shrugged. “That’s, eh-heh, life for you. Lucky for us you were so worried about your friend.”
With the table set, the black-suit gave a last obnoxious laugh before making his way up the stairs. Applejack watched him climb, then smiled grimly as a clicking lock marked his departure.
A rough test of the bonds killed her smile – the ropes broadly wrapped her to Adagio, with their arms woven to their sides. No chance of forcing things.
“Want to start screaming?” She murmured.
Adagio shuffled behind her and groaned. “Please don’t, for the sake of my sanity. If it was that easy they would have gagged us.”
“Try and scooch over? Grab a knife from the table?”
Adagio’s voice took a snappish tone. “These chairs are bolted to the floor, dumb-ass.”
“Then help me think of something,” Applejack snarled right back. “I’d rather bust myself out than get eaten alive. Or, you know, rescued.”
Adagio gave a humorless laugh. “Who’ll rescue us?”
“Sunset,” Applejack said immediately, though followed it with a hard swallow. “If she knows we’re here.”
A drier, smaller chuckle came in response. “She’ll save you, cowgirl. You all wouldn’t care less if it was just me.”
Applejack turned to try and look at Adagio, though the great volume of orange curls forced her back. “That ain’t true and you know it. But if you want to be cynical, just think of it like your sisters will owe me one when I save us both.”
Her words had outpaced her brain, and Applejack followed them with another grunting effort against the ropes. Hopeless, but she was out of ideas. She kept struggling well past the peak of her strength, internally braced for a fresh round of caustic wit.
None came, but something else took its place. Applejack only heard when she paused for breath.
A sob.
“Girl?”
Adagio’s voice came without hint of sadness. “Tell you a secret, before we die?”
Words of baseless reassurance died on her lips, and Applejack nodded before remembering Adagio couldn’t see. “Yeah.”
“Actually, never mind.” The siren spoke with an airy tone, through one brittle around the edge. “Tell whoever, it’s no secret. Aria got picked up as a backup dancer for that big singer, Sapphire Shores. A second opening appeared, and she brought in Sonata. I found this out over the course of one text message.”
An unsteady breath swayed their chairs, and Adagio went on. “They cleared out that day, sticking me for the rent. I haven’t heard from them since. So no, they won’t owe you shit.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” Applejack asked.
Adagio sighed again, leaning her head back into Applejack’s. “You’re an ex who I used pretty awfully. Sunset and Rainbow were your self-appointed detectives who rooted me out. These aren’t exactly cry-on-the-shoulder relationships, even if you guys are the closest thing I have to...”
She didn’t finish. Didn’t need to. “Pretty lame, right?”
Applejack gave a hard sigh. Thought bitterly of the expensive gifts Adagio cajoled from her, then pushed it down.
“We got a lot behind us, sugar. I don’t know if we can be friends, but I’ll give it a college try if you will.”
“Out of pity,” Adagio said. “No thanks, I’m not that pathetic.”
“Heck, how do you think it was with Sunset?” Applejack tried the ropes more carefully as she talked. “Lying in a crater, crying her eyes out after trying to kill us. Think I had much in common with her then? Or our Twilight, futzing up archery at the Friendship Games? Heck, I only talked to pony Twilight to help out the weird girl who held pens in her teeth.”
“What an angel you are,” Adagio snarked.
It didn’t break Applejack’s momentum. “Friendship’s gotta start somewhere. Sometimes it’s being nice to a stranger. Sometimes, letting bygones pass.”
“We’re about to die,” Adagio noted. “Or at least, I am.”
“Got any ideas?”
A pause. Then, carefully, Adagio began feeling out her bonds. “Maybe.”
Applejack grunted as the movements constricted her own. It became painful enough that she opened her mouth to protest, then closed it as she realized Adagio had just endured the same.
A sharp pop broke the air – like a cracking joint, but somehow more poignant. Applejack shuffled in her chair to look, inadvertently pulling the rope and getting an irate, “Don’t.”
She obeyed, but turned her head in time to hear a second pop and watch Adagio’s foot spring free.
Applejack blinked and looked down to her own. While the same rope tied their chests and arms, each leg was lashed to the chair just above the ankle. A soft test was enough to show she had no chance getting it past the shin, let alone over the foot.
“How–”
“Shh!” Another popping noise emerge, and the chairs trembled with Adagio’s slow, intense movements. Sweaty orange curls found their way down Applejack’s neck, and seconds later a gasp and jerk from the other side freed the second foot.
The curls scratched atrociously as Adagio began wiggling in her chair and kicking the legs out. Some found their way to Applejack’s nose, drawing a snort and shake.
“I said shut up,” Adagio whispered urgently.
“Sorry,” Applejack replied. “Your hair’s getting everywhere.”
“Deal with it.”
There was a time to argue, and a time to pass. “Roger. What can I do?”
The ropes tightened as Adagio found her limit. “This would be easier if I wore a bra today… hold your breath and suck in your gut.”
Applejack complied, and winced as she felt the ropes pull into the opened space. She almost gasped as they choked in even further, but held firm as Adagio started working her way downwards.
Adagio spoke in tight bursts, as her lung space allowed. “You Rainbutts stole our powers, but physically we’re still human-world sirens. Some, hm… speed of a fish, agility of an eel? Something like that? Not really super-human, but the fact remains we’re...”
The next words carried an extra purr. “Very flexible.”
Heat flared under Applejack's face, which she stoically attributed to the curls itching downwards. Kicking and pushing with her legs let Adagio slip inch-by-inch to the floor, bending her back in a way that would have broken Applejack’s.
With a final effort and her breasts pulled up to her head, Adagio exited the bottom of their bonds. The pressure on Applejack’s chest abruptly vanished and she set-to pulling herself free.
The top ropes came easily, with Adagio’s body no longer holding them in place. Applejack bent to examine the ankle ties while Adagio walked to the table, then returned.
“Here.”
Applejack looked up, and her expression turned panicked as the sight of a grinning, knife-brandishing Adagio triggered very primal instincts.
The grin closed, and Adagio began sawing at her ties. “Figured you still didn’t trust me.”
Applejack huffed and glared away. “Y’all grinned like that just to freak me out.”
A tight smile came as Applejack’s legs pulled free. “Maybe. Point made, though.”
“Adagio, y’all need to meet me halfway if we’re gonna be friends.” Applejack stood, feeling tingles across her body as circulation resumed. “Let’s see… no windows, way up is locked. Look around with me and see if there’s anything we can use.”
A voice kept calling her name. “Sunset!” “Sunset!”
Sunset swung her head back and forth, looking in all directions before finding the source – Wallflower Blush, standing right in front of her.
Sunset put on a weak grin and raised her palms. “Wallflower, I am so sorry for not seeing you.”
“Don’t care.” Wallflower snatched both Sunset and Twilight’s collars, yanking their heads down to her height. “If I have your attention now, our dorm-mates are in trouble.”
Sunset groaned. “What did Adagio do?”
“Get drugged,” Wallflower squeaked, open fear pushing past her indignation. “Or drunk, I don’t know. A couple uniformed pretty-boys used her to lure Applejack into their frat house, then they tied them both up. They...”
The small girl shivered, and released Sunset to pass a sleeve over her eyes. “They’re not human. Your friend punched one in the face and knocked a mask off.”
“Police,” Twilight said tersely.
“It’ll get transferred to the campus cops, and they’re shit,” Sunset whispered. Her gaze locked on Wallflower’s teary eyes. “What did they look like?”
“Bald, big teeth.” Wallflower paused to blow her nose on her shirt. “Kind of grody, mottled skin, and flat nose like a pig. They said they were going to eat the girls when Roland found their last member.”
Twilight took a sharp inhale and gripped something inside her lab coat. “You’re the expert, Sunset. Know what it is? Or can you look it up?”
“Expert?” Wallflower cocked her head.
“Vampire hunter. Long story.” Sunset shook her head. “I can call Mom. Wallflower, watch the door and text Twilight if they come back.”
Wallflower nodded and vanished into the crowd, perhaps before leaving their side. The other two sped to the party’s edge, where Sunset leaned against a tree and produced her phone.
“C’mon, c’mon,” she muttered as the call took its sweet time connecting, though mercifully Celestia answered on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mom!” Sunset gave a strangled cheer. “Big teeth, pig nose, gross skin, eats people, more than one. What am I looking at and does silver kill it?”
“THERE WAS ONE RULE, YOUNG LADY!”
“It’s not funny!” Sunset screeched at Luna’s laughter in the background. “Mom, answer. They kidnapped Applejack and Adagio.”
“I’m at home. Where are you?” Rustling became audible as Celestia moved through the house. “Luna, where’s the flanged mace?”
Sunset held the phone in place with her shoulder, fumbling clips of silver bullets from her purse to a pocket. “At the university, and its rush hour. I can’t wait.”
“You absolutely will.”
“Mom, there’s no time.” Sunset spoke with stern authority, reversing their usual roles. “Tell me what I need or I’ll go in blind.”
An exhausted sigh came from the other end, though an explanation followed. “Sounds like ghouls. Silver should work, but if it doesn’t, you get the hell out of there. We’re on the way.”
“Cool-thanks-loveya.” Sunset crammed the words into two syllables and pocketed the phone. She looked to her lavender companion, then the Hailgrogar house. “Hailgrogar… ‘Hail Grogar’… Twilight, what’s a Grogar?”
“No idea.”
“Sweet.” Sunset touched the handle on her concealed carry, though her eyes moved to the crowd. “Think I can get in a back window?”
Twilight adjusted her glasses with a trembling hand. “You mean ‘we.’”
“Twilight–”
“AJ is my friend, too. And while I don’t know much about Adagio, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t deserve to get eaten. I have science, I’ll be fine.”
Sunset blinked at her, and a faint bulge in the labcoat. “Science?”
“If I don’t tell you, you don’t legally have to report me.” Twilight stopped fidgeting with her glasses, and gave a reassuring smile. “We should move.”
A bit of frantic reconnaissance revealed the Hailgrogar house rear-ended into the woods. Perfect for a discreet approach, though a gentle test revealed the back entrance and windows to be secured.
Sunset sucked down on her lip, eyeing the twist-key lock barring their way through the rear door. “Got a hairpin?”
“Yeah,” Twilight said, then sent her a quizzical glance.
No time to be embarrassed. “I spent three years as the worst kind of delinquent. Give it to me.”
Twilight did so, and pulled the loose bang into her ponytail while Sunset got to work. A few tense minutes slowly eased the lock open, and Sunset laid a hand on the knob while drawing her pistol. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
A glance backwards showed Twilight with her own weapon in hand – a laptop-sized contraption of ominous wires and needless tiny light bulbs, with a clear trigger and barrel.
Twilight shrugged at Sunset’s look. “Lightning gun.”
“Why did you bring that to a party?”
Twilight cringed. “What if someone hit on me?”
“Then that would be a cartoonish overreaction, but I’m happy you have it. Now...”
Sunset eased the door open with merciful silence. Nothing in the first room but a rumbling dryer. Good to mask their noise… and that of any ambusher, of course.
They stepped in, and Twilight pointed back to a strange padding on the exterior wall. “Acoustic paneling.”
“English, Twilight.”
“Soundproofing.” With both hands on her gun, Twilight used her knuckles to adjust her glasses. “This room is soundproofed to the outside, and I’ll bet the rest are too.”
“Nothing for it,” Sunset whispered.
The next room was a hallway, and Sunset cursed the loud tap of her fashionable boots on the linoleum. Sneaker-clad but clumsier, Twilight fared no better as they crept through, weapons forward.
A rustle came from the living room, and heavy steps approached quickly. Sunset gave a last wince of footwear regret and moved – a sharp-chinned black-suit rounded the corner just in time to meet her palm against his throat. She slammed him to the wall and pressed the pistol to his head.
And then paused.
Had to be certain. Her hand moved from his neck to the side of his face. Fingers felt the edge of a rubber layer, and she pulled.
The man moved in an instant, punching a fist like a brick into Sunset’s head. Stars danced in her vision as she fell, the pistol clattering from limp fingers.
The mask fell with her, along with the attached wig. The bald, flat-nosed creature snarled huge teeth and raised its hand to strike again. The look froze as a bolt of electricity shot past Sunset’s vision square into its chest. The ghoul seized and squealed, vibrating in place as secondary blue bolts arced between its limbs.
The bolts faded, and so did the motion. The ghoul looked angrily to Twilight, gave a single snort… and exploded to dust, leaving only a pair of smoking black shoes.
The girls stared for one second before Sunset rallied. “Damn, Twilight.”
“It was not supposed to do that.” Twilight looked irately to her contraption.
An alarmed, pig-like squeal sounded ahead of them, and was answered by one behind. A hallway door slammed open almost on top of Twilight.
Adrenaline fueled the recovery as Sunset snatched up her gun. “Twilight, drop!”
Twilight threw herself downwards, too slow. The emerging black-suit snatched her pigtail at waist height, roaring so wide the inch-long teeth tore open its own mask.
Sunset fired from the ground in the half-second before it could lift her friend into a human shield. The first shot went high, but the next two struck its face.
The ghoul did not release Twilight, or fall instantly. It trembled and gave a crumbling scream over the course of a long second before collapsing to dust.
Twilight fell, gasping, but Sunset shouted. “No time! Help me!”
Her position at the corner let her see the front door, and the three men who had just entered – Roland and two others with sharp-chinned masks. They all dove for cover as she emptied her gun to no effect.
She snapped in a new clip, eyes narrowing as Roland pulled a small revolver from his pocket and sent a careful shot her way. Sunset crouched at the corner and returned fire, but both sides’ bullets only found chairs and walls. Even a few shots of Twilight’s lightning gun failed to upend things, simply blasting out pillows and sofa-pads.
Sunset’s hand closed around her second reload. The last clip, and no end to the stalemate in sight.
Roland’s shout did not encourage her. “Ernest, go for the gun locker!”
The clip locked into place. Sunset looked around the corner just in time to see a fourth black-suit leap through her line of vision to an inside door. She aimed, but a bullet from Roland sent her diving back.
Twilight shivered behind the corner, and the light bulbs on her weapon glowed an ominous red. “I only have one shot left.”
“Go.” Sunset said. A door frame let her peek without exposing herself, giving view as the fourth black-suit unlocked his door.
Twilight’s shiver ended, and her lips drew tight. “No.”
The door swung open to reveal basement stairs, and a tall girl with a cowboy hat.
And shotgun.
A THOOM shook the room as Ernest flew backwards, crumbling to dust before he even hit the ground.
With a stressed, enraged kind of humor, Applejack shouted as she racked the shotgun. “Alright, boys, I want to fire off a couple questions!”
Adagio’s voice groaned behind her. “Don’t stoop to their level.”
They hadn’t seen one of the ghouls, cowering behind a chair from Sunset. He leaped as Applejack charged into the room, knocking the shotgun from her hands and throwing her to the ground.
While another shot from Roland pinned Sunset, the aggressor turned to Adagio, ripping off its mask and roaring in her face. The siren stumbled backwards, screeching her surrender, and with a hideous grin it loomed over Applejack.
The quick-thinking farmer had already got one hand on the shotgun, but it was too late. The ghoul lunged, leading with its too-long teeth.
Then stumbled and fell, with a butcher knife buried through its spine.
Standing tall, shielded by the doorframe from Roland’s gun, Adagio gave a cruel smile and tossed her curls. “Been a while since I’ve done that.”
The last ghoul besides Roland dove for the shotgun, and easily snatched it from Applejack’s distracted grip. But the move carried him from cover, and a half-clip volley from Sunset blasted him to dust.
Her grim smile ended as a shot-up easy chair flew across the room and bowled her over, knocking the gun clear and pinning her beneath. Not so heavy – she lifted and quickly freed her arms just in time to catch an end-table.
Roland followed the attack with a bestial, squealing roar. He had torn off the mask, shedding all pretense of humanity and human strength as he seized a massive bookshelf and raised it above his head. He glared to Sunset, rearing back for a throw guaranteed to pulp her brains. With her legs still trapped and the gun lost to sight, there was no defense.
Except Applejack. Leaping right from the ground she tackled Roland with all her might. An ‘oof’ and wince told she got the worst of the exchange, but Roland wobbled, unbalanced with the cumbersome load. He tried to slam it down on Applejack, but she saw it coming and rolled away.
A shadow crossed Sunset’s vision. She looked up from frantically pawing for her gun to see a bright glare from Twilight’s glasses. The lavender girl stepped boldly onto the debris, aiming her weapon from the hip.
Twilight fired, and Roland had hurled away his cover. Lightning impacted the chief ghoul, sending a violent spasm through his limbs. Different than the last hit, he seemed to shrink in, then bloat outwards in a moist, brackish color devoid of recognition.
Then… stillness. The disgusting, man-shaped form yet stood.
Twilight adjusted her glasses, her purple eyes taking in the scene with a thoughtful expression. “Interesting. This time they turned inside-out.”
A hissing noise interrupted, and Roland’s body blasted into all directions.
“Then exploded!” Twilight brought her knuckle to her lips, adopting a thoughtful expression. She tilted her head, again hiding the eyes behind a white glare. “This requires further research. Perhaps their rapid decomposition is affected strangely by electricity… hm, where’s my notebook?”
“Focus, girl!” Applejack called, taking the shotgun as she scrambled up from the floor. “There might be more coming!”
Adagio took a quick count on her finger, then sent a frowning look to Sunset. “Did you kill any on the way here?”
“Two,” Sunset said. Extracting herself brought a smile as she found the pistol.
Adagio relaxed visibly with the words. She offered Sunset what perhaps counted as a friendly smile. “That’s all, then. Ghouls only live in groups of six.”
The others gave curious stares as Adagio’s finger traced lines over her body: first across the throat, then where each limb met the torso. “They were humans, originally. Once every ten years, they can ritually consume a person to preserve their youth. The leader gets the heart, he gives the head to a favorite underling, and the rest each get an arm or leg. There can’t be any more.”
“Could there be twelve?” Twilight asked. “They kidnapped two of you.”
Adagio shook her head. “One of them said Applejack was a bribe for some ‘Mister D.’ I doubt they’d give out virgins if they didn’t have a spare.”
Sunset arched an eyebrow. “Virgins?”
“They said we were the only two.” Adagio shot a one-sided smirk at Twilight. “Actually, they said we were the only attractive virgins.”
Twilight smiled back levelly. “I’m not a virgin.”
“Really?” Adagio and Applejack said at once.
Sunset holstered her gun and clapped to get their attention. “Anyway! Adagio, how do you know all this?”
“Why would you think I don’t?” Adagio replied, turning her smirk to Sunset. “Maybe you have a distinction in your mind between rainbow music adventures and ghoul hunting. But the fact is I spent a thousand years as one of Earth’s mythical monsters. You get to know the neighbors. What they want, who to avoid, and how to kill them.”
“Sounds useful,” Sunset said, not hiding the self-interested appreciation in her voice.
“I suppose.” Adagio examined her nails, frowning at some imperfection. “Whatever makes you happy. Now let’s go.”
Applejack gave Sunset a shaky grin. “You tell us what the etiquette here is. Do we… like, call the police? Tell ‘em the truth? Just leave quietly?”
Three sets of eyes fell on Sunset, and the hot stress of combat turned to a cold chill. Her brain turned and came up empty, leaving her only with a red-faced chuckle.
“I’ll, uh… I’ll call Mom.”
They reconvened at the dorm, with unhealthy sugary beverages in hand. The first few minutes were spent demolishing the snack food once budgeted for the whole week, then Sunset settled back in a chair. “First: we all came through unharmed, but how are you all emotionally?”
Twilight smiled. “I spent two years apprenticing under Professor Whooves regarding the, hm, ‘Vampire World.’ I never planned on getting practical experience, but yes, I’m fine.”
“No worse than when the lich attacked.” Applejack took a slug from her cola. “Or that shindig with Crystal Prep, so this makes three times for me. Reckon I might ask soon where you get your silver bullets.”
Wallflower gave a tiny squeal, vibrating with glee. “I was useful. It’s a good feeling.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Sunset gave her a warm, knowing smile. “Although my own good feeling here is the lack of consequences. I guess the cops have a wink-and-nudge relationship with the business. When my mom said drunk Hailgrogars tore up the house with a shotgun, they winked, nudged, and moved on.”
A few seconds passed, and she sounded out their last. “Adagio, how are you?”
The siren didn’t look up from her phone. “Like you care.”
“I do,” Applejack said. She gave a warm pat on Adagio’s shoulder, earning a coy pink-eyed glance. Adagio leaned into the hand, then to Applejack’s chest with a playful grin.
Adagio’s voice emerged from deep in her throat. “You know, all this happened because we’re virgins.”
Applejack blushed and looked away. “I see where you’re going. No.”
“What say we...”
“No.”
“Secure ourselves against future attack?”
A smile crept to Applejack’s face. “Good idea. I’ll teach you how to shoot.”
“Leave her alone!” Sunset snapped. “The answer was no.”
Adagio groaned and stood abruptly. She walked quickly to her and Wallflower’s room and closed the door.
A sigh came from Applejack’s chair, accompanied by the patient tone she used when disappointed. “Wasn’t no need to yell. She was just playing.”
Sunset gave Applejack an even glance. “Last night you wanted nothing to do with her.”
“Can’t deny that,” Applejack chuckled and scratched the back of her head. “Hard to explain, I guess… you got any regrets, Sunny?”
“Literally everything before the Fall Formal.” They shared a dry laugh, and not for the first time Sunset marveled at how free her friends were with forgiveness. “That’s a better question for you.”
“Kinda wish my folks were still around.” Applejack gave a little smile – the wound was old, and even its scab had faded. “But yeah, sorry, stupid question. What I mean is, Adagio’s got regrets. I think I’m on the list, ‘cause she treated wrong the one person who’d stand by her.”
Twilight tilted her head. “Last I checked, she had two.”
Applejack grimaced and shook her head. “She said this ain’t a secret, so I’ll tell: Sonata and Aria struck gold and ditched her, at least how she tells it. Now I’m sure Adagio weren’t no angel to them neither, but she’s a mite short on friends these days. Y’all don’t have to be one, but I’d call it a favor to me to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“No problem.” Sunset smiled and tapped her pop can to Applejack’s in a wordless toast. “I’ll apologize to her later.”
Applejack nodded. “You do that. Then you can get back to me about those silver bullets, because I sure wasn’t joking.”
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Not the secret end boss of Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
A fifteen-minute walk to their first class of the year gave Sunset a chance to clear the air with Adagio, though the results made her wonder if it was such a good idea. Having once been moved beyond tears by forgiveness, Sunset found Adagio’s reaction to the same… worrying.
She scrunched her face against a hot September breeze, trying to understand and coming up short.
“Problem?” Adagio asked after the chat lapsed into silence.
“Not to be petty, but yeah.” Sunset gave her a wary look as they trod the grass-lined walkway. “I didn’t apologize just to make you do the same. I am sorry for snapping, and I’m sorry you’re in a rough spot right now. But I don’t mind saying it’s a little disconcerting to learn you wish you’d have killed us all at the Band Battle.”
Adagio shrugged with one shoulder. “I don’t like you enough to lie to you. I went from being a majestic, immortal siren to diet pills and student loans. The less we bring that day up, the better we’ll get along.”
“Then how can I feel safe with you?” Sunset asked. “How do I know you don’t want revenge?”
Adagio rolled her eyes, but the tight frown beneath spoke of more difficult feelings. “Because making nice with you will get me perks. Taking revenge will get me arrested.”
She reached up and flipped back her curls, though Sunset noticed the windup and dodged in time. “And I simply don’t feel the want for it. Everyone’s a predator in the end, living and prospering from the pain of others. The fish starves the shark by fleeing, then is killed by the fisher, who is killed by his brother for the fish. You lot won, and that’s all the justification you need. I’m lucky enough to have survived the fall.”
Rounding a wooded bend brought their destination to sight – the Spoiled Rich Hall, named for one of the college’s wealthy patrons. A casualty of modern art nearly equal to the Dali Hall, done up in giant image of a piggy bank.
Sunset held the door for Adagio, still watching from the corner of her eye. “I won’t argue philosophy with you, but let me ask: was that how it was with the sirens? Just three sharks prowling together for convenience, with no love or friendship?”
“You heard what happened, isn’t it obvious?” But a glare and snapped tone again belied Adagio’s indifferent words. She stormed past Sunset, this time catching her with a whip of the hair. “If you’re done with stupid questions, then tell me if you or Mommy Dearest found any clue about our blood-seeking ‘Mister D.’
A wave of air conditioning greeted their arrival, drawing a relived sigh and shiver from both. Sunset took advantage of a brief escalator ride to check her phone. “Room two-oh-two, ten minutes early… no, not really. Although our professor’s name is–”
“I know,” Adagio huffed.
Sunset pocketed the phone. “Right, him and all the other D-names in existence. I’m surprised you’re taking this class. For me this seems relevant to Mom’s work, for you it looks like old news.”
Adagio talked as they stepped off the escalator. “Introduction to myths and legends? You won’t learn a thing, but whatever. We both have mandatory electives to knock out, and if I can pass one blindfolded, so much the better.”
Some familiar faces greeted Sunset in the quarter-full classroom. She leaned in for a quiet hello to Fluttershy in one back corner, then tried a companionable wave to Sugarcoat in the other. The gesture was duly ignored, and Sunset took the seat next to Fluttershy.
The room grew no fuller until a door at the front opened, revealing a comical orange top hat above an absolute disaster of a suit. Orange and barf-green checkered the jacket, with one arm terminating in a mitten and the other in a gentleman’s glove. Mismatched dress shoes stood beneath the pant legs, themselves split between brown and yellow.
So bizarre was the outfit it took Sunset an extra second to realize it was occupied by a person. Odd red eyes on a slate-gray face cast lazily over the students as the man took off his jacket, revealing another of the exact same colors beneath. He doffed his hat and bowed, revealing an unkempt mane of alternating black and white hair.
The flamboyance ended with his words – the monotone of a bored man going through the motions. “Hello, hello. I’m Mister Discord, the pleasure’s all mine.”
Sugarcoat’s voice blared from Sunset’s left. “Why are you dressed like an idiot?”
“Because your mum picked out my clothes.”
Sunset found herself paradoxically fighting down both a smile and sympathetic wince as Discord continued without missing a beat. “I’ll be your teacher, in as much as any of you will spare me time from Angry Bees or whatever the kids play these days. The subject of course is myths and legends, which pretty fairly establishes you’re all here for either easy electives...”
Sugarcoat and Adagio coughed and looked away.
“...Or to satisfy some juvenile love of pixies and unicorns.”
Fluttershy shrank down in her seat.
“I have good news for both parties. Yes, the class is easy, and no, I don’t take attendance. And we will discuss pixies and unicorns, as well as vampires, werebeasts, sirens, and other nonsensical bollocks the idiots of the past invented to scare themselves.”
“Moron,” Adagio murmured, having chosen a desk next to Sunset.
Sunset’s hand shot up. “Mister Discord? Aren’t some of the legends based on reality?”
“No, that’s stupid,” Discord said drolly.
The bored tone broke for one second as a high giggle squeaked out, though he immediately righted himself. “No, Miss… ah, yellow skinned girl...”
His eyes wobbled to Adagio and Fluttershy. “...With the red hair, it’s all poppycock, superstition, so on, so forth. The thirteenth century’s equivalent of the moon landing.”
Another pitched giggle escaped. “Oh, snap, got political there. Don’t tell your mums.”
“My grandpa worked on the moon landings,” Sugarcoat grumbled, though she spoke low this time and hid it with a hand.
Adagio jerked a thumb at Fluttershy. “And she’s a were-manatee. This guy’s a freaking jo–”
A loud, deeper burst of laughter interrupted from the front, though by the time they looked Discord’s bored expression was back in place.
“Sorry,” he said in a dull tone, though a final titter escaped with it. “I have a condition. Anyway, this class will be a colossal waste of time because it doesn’t involve the real world in the sl...slight… tee-hee, excuse me.”
Chuckling wracked his body. He bent over, squeezing his sides and slapping a knee, then righted himself. “But you need electives and I need paydays, so here we are. Intense and profound study of the subjects here could be
Dangerous.”
The word ended with a hiss like snake teeth on a chalkboard. A shiver moved down Sunset’s spine, then worked its way back up as she realized Discord was staring right at her.
His mouth opened, revealing one sharp canine as a foghorn-like “BWA-HA-HA,” erupted.
“...For your career prospects,” Discord clarified, his evil grin folding back to listlessness. “Everyone, please take out the textbook that regurgitates old stories with absolutely no new information that cost your parents $120 and turn to the first page. We will start with myths of ancient Egypt, then move chronologically forwards in human history. You young sir with the unimportant face, if you could start reading below the picture of the pretentious lady who wrote the introduction, we shall begin.”
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Joys and Trials of Communal Living
After a bit of negotiation, the dorm-mates settled on a deal for each to handle one Saturday or Sunday meal every fourth week. A fine and equal arrangement that, with a random draw, gave Wallflower responsibility for their first weekend together.
“Grape nuts and non-GMO oats,” Wallflower announced cheerfully as she doled a colorless, mud-consistency porridge to her underwhelmed companions. “Plus some flax seed extract for fiber, tofu for protein, and beet shavings for the vegetable. All blended together in one environmentally-friendly package.”
Sunset scooped out a spoonful and watched it ooze back into the bowl, desperately trying to wear a smile.
Adagio waved a hand over her nose. “What’s the smell? I thought it was just our room, but it’s out here too.”
“Smell? Oh, that’s me.” Wallflower beamed as Adagio stood. “Do you know how much water people waste by showering daily? Even every week is well beyond what we need to stay healthyOW-OW ADAGIO LEGGO MY EAR!”
The next week, each plate made an empty clink as Adagio set them on the table.
Applejack grinned weakly, more wishful than hopeful. “Salad plates, huh? I should have figured you were a fancy type who brings out the main course later.”
“Ha-ha, no.” Adagio pointed to each item in turn. “This is what girls our age need to eat if we don’t want our ass cheeks to look like basketballs. Three Lima beans, four lettuce leaves, and two tomato slices. There’s two spoonfuls of peanut butter for each, but if you’re smart like me you’ll save it for when you wake up hungry during the night.”
Sunset released a sigh, giving her best effort at an encouraging smile. “Adagio, you are not fat.”
Adagio jammed her fork through one of the beans. “I’m way fatter than Aria and Sonata.”
“That’s not fair.”
Adagio popped the bean into her mouth, eyeing Sunset up and down. “So you say, but you could stand to lose a few pounds yourself.”
Sunset bounced giddily in her chair alongside Wallflower and Adagio. “Sweet Celestia, I hear her coming. This is going to be amazing. I’ve gotten dinner at Applejack’s place like ten times, and each has been bigger food porn than the cooking network. Turkey, cornbread, sweet potatoes, fruit salads, pie, and all of it with scratch-made ingredients.”
Adagio gave a cat-like grin. “Sounds good. Today’s a cheat day for me, anyway.”
“So long as the turkey is grass-fed,” Wallflower added.
Sunset’s response was cut off by a noise, made horrifying by the context. A loud, frozen ‘thunk’ as something hit the table.
“Chicken tenders!” Applejack announced, smiling from ear to ear as she tore open the factory-sealed bag. “I never get to eat this at home, never-ever! Always a dang hour or more of cooking… cheers, girls! Freshmen ten, here I come.”
Sunset raised a finger as Applejack plucked up one of the frozen tenders. “Shouldn’t we cook them first?”
“The label says they’re pre-cooked.” Applejack snapped off a piece with her teeth and began chewing. “Nice cold dinner for a hot September, huh?”
Sunset dove to the ground, this time a second too slow. The swooping gargoyle raked its talons across her back, mercifully piercing only deep enough to scratch the skin and shred her Hemline.
“Not again!” Sunset snarled, whipping around to fire at her flying target. “This vest is three months old! Why is there a gargoyle, anyway?!”
Adagio shouted back, dagger in hand as she crouched behind a mailbox. “I don’t know! Whose bright idea was it to head out after dark for Chow Mein?”
“Well I didn’t think we’d get attacked by an animate piece of an ancient cathedral in a city with no ancient cathedrals!”
The gargoyle swooped low again, taking off the top half of Adagio’s mailbox. Both girls again threw themselves flat, and again Sunset could only fire wildly after it.
“I think you winged it that time,” Wallflower cheered, perched on a bench and slurping down her share of the food. “You’re doing great!”
The fractured mailbox had crushed the rest of their take-out. No time to be annoyed. Sunset stood brazenly, tracking the gargoyle over her pistol sights as it wheeled around once more. High risk, high reward.
It got closer. Bigger. An easier target. So was she.
A shotgun blast from her side broke up the gargoyle’s left wing. That didn’t kill it, but momentum sped its way down what became an uncontrolled dive. It smashed into the pavement, sending fragments and dust in all directions.
Applejack lowered the shotgun.
Her stomach’s growl could be heard even in Sunset’s ringing ears. She eyed the squashed food and shook her head. “Sunset? Maybe we should all just take care of our own meals.”
A slightly too short, but familiar wooden chair. Wonderful aromas from the stocked kitchen, and a plate of lasagna in front of her.
Home is where the heart is.
“You look skinny,” Luna chided, taking her own place around the dining room table. “You eating enough over there?”
“She’s always been skinny, leave her be.” Celestia gave a tut, with mitt-clad hands bringing over a steaming pan of food. She held up the tongs and looked to Sunset. “One biscuit or two?”
Not scratch-made, but lovingly baked all the same. “Two!”
“Two it is.” Celestia served them and dispensed with the pan. She passed her seat on the return in favor of stepping behind Sunset’s and hugging her in place. “Welcome home, Sweetie. I’m glad you decided to stop by.”
Luna’s eyes twinkled. “She was hungry.”
“Well, our collective cooking experiment kind of flew apart last weekend, so yeah.” Sunset gave a cheeky grin. “It’s this or burgers.”
Celestia rolled perfectly with the joke, tilting her head in mock arrogance. “And that’s all, hm?”
Sunset leaned back, nestling her head into Celestia’s chest. “Pretty much, aside from seeing the mom and aunt I love so much.”
“At least Luna and I place a close second.” Long pink fingers ran themselves through Sunset’s hair, drawing a tiny ‘squee’ from her throat. They stopped too soon as Celestia went to fetch the salad. “Any more business-related problems?”
“Nothing since the gargoyle.”
“Ugh, who builds a city on a Ley line?” Celestia said. “Us and the Pies make for two teams of hunters, we’re an upsize group too, and we still miss whole covens of undead.”
Sunset’s smile took a wheedling curve. “Sounds like we need three teams.”
“End that talk right now, missy.” Celestia’s tone brokered no debate, though her eyes swung to Luna. “I wonder if we should call off the trip.”
“No,” Sunset and Luna said together, and the former continued. “No-no-no, you guys have been planning this vacation for a long time, and it’s going to be awesome. Think of it, a month in Equestria as the guest of royalty. You’ll see and experience things no human has before, and it’ll be safe and fun the whole time.”
Luna leaned back in her chair. “Plus, Sunset’s been pushing us to do this for years. We won’t hear the end of it if we back out now.”
“Mom, you taught me this,” Sunset pressed, determined to tip Celestia’s view back over. “There’s always monsters, always problems, and you can’t let life stop because of it. Now’s the perfect time to leave, with no obvious threats or problems. If something comes up with the business I promise I’ll call...”
She gave a low, grudging sigh. “...Miss Harshwhinny.”
“Have fun with that,” Luna said. “Us, we’ll be sunbathing in our glorious pony bodies on a beach made of sugar or something.”
“I suppose we will.” Celestia conceded. “And I certainly am looking forward to this. Our first vacation as adults, well-past due, in the most exotic location of them all. I only wish we could all go together.”
Sunset began scooping salad to the plates. “Start planning for next summer. I will absolutely go to Hawaii with you.”
Celestia shook her head. “Hawaii is expensive. Two years off, at best.”
“Just like last year,” Luna said. “Silver bullets aren’t cheap. What say we explain things to your twin and see if we can’t get a little royal largess?”
“We’ve been over this before, we are not going to panhandle our pony doppelgangers.”
“Of course, of course.” Luna scratched her face on Sunset’s side with crossed fingers.
“At any rate, thank you for helping us plan this out.” Celestia graced Sunset with one of the radiant smiles reserved for her daughter, which never failed to send a loving blush across Sunset’s cheeks. “Between that journal of yours and Princess Twilight organizing things, I daresay you two put in more effort than we did.”
Sunset bashfully scratched the back of her head. “It was the least I could do. Equestria’s great, you know? Las Pegaus, airship tours, Canterlot galleries, and that’s a one-month taste. We made sure to leave a week just for the beach.”
“You’ll come over next weekend, won’t you?” Celestia asked.
“Definitely. Someone has to move the car.” Sunset’s grin flashed teeth as it curled up at the edges. “I’ll take good care of it while you’re gone.”
“I’m sure you will.” Celestia pulled back a green lock of hair, dividing her biscuit with a fork. “How about tonight? Will we get you until morning? We can make that Equestrian hot chocolate recipe and watch a movie, or just chat and watch Luna play her games.”
Sunset shrugged, still wearing her cagey grin. “I don’t know, it’s hard to go back in the nest after getting a taste of freedom. I’ll consider it.”
Celestia gave a broad smile. “Then I’ll get your bed ready.”
“She sleeps exactly like you.”
Sunset’s room was a relatively barren one. Once an unvisited display scene for Luna’s collectibles, boxes of them still crowded the corners with no better place to go. The clothes and band posters which made the room truly Sunset’s were off to college, leaving a featureless bed beneath a brick-red comforter.
The comforter had been kicked off before the sisters quietly entered. Sunset sprawled upon the bed – one knee up, one to the side, and one arm weirdly bent upwards like she was waving goodbye.
“Almost like you.” Luna corrected herself. “She’s not chewing on her hair.”
“That happened once,” Celestia whispered. She busied herself, moving the comforter back in place and gently lowering Sunset’s hand. The task done, she settled down on one of the boxes and leaned against the wall.
Her eyes never moved from Sunset’s face. “I’ll stay a while. Have a good night, Luna.”
“Don’t spend too long there or you’ll have a sore back in the morning.” Luna kissed the top of her head, then after a second’s thought padded over and did the same for Sunset. She departed, closing the door as Celestia watched her ward in the moonlight.
A sleepy moan came a few minutes later. Sunset shuffled in her sleep, kicking off the comforter. She rolled onto a side with a yawn, and began contentedly chewing her hair.
Author's Note
Celestia had a sore back in the morning.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
“All packed?”
“What would I pack for Equestria? Spare shoes?”
Luna climbed into the car, carefully watching her sister on the passenger side. An unstated, but obvious signal for the siblings came whenever Celestia abandoned her usual role as driver.
Not the only sign, either. “Dry wit is my job, Tia. What’s wrong?”
“I’ll be fine.” Celestia avoided eye contact in favor of checking her watch. “Sunset’s there already, we should move.”
Luna accepted the dodge only long enough to put her sister off-guard. Once the ten-minute drive was halfway done, she let it out with a gentle smile. “Not that I would know, but breakups are rough. Was it Professor Whooves or Iron Will?”
“What makes you say it’s one of them?” Celestia asked.
“Because you have as much social life as I do,” Luna replied. “It has to be someone at work.”
“My sister, the unsung genius.” Celestia smiled back gently. “Fine, it was Iron Will. We ended things officially this week. Great hunter, good friend, and the posturing masculinity was a turn-on – don’t judge. Just nothing to talk about besides work and himself, and five dates with no change takes the steam right out of a relationship.”
Luna whistled and shook her head. “Cards on the table, I don’t know what I would have done if you kept going. Fine guy, but financially he’s a sleazeball. Remember reading about his old tour guide business? If we let him handle the gun money it’d get blown on muscle cars and get-rich-quick schemes.”
“And if Redheart handled it, it would be expensive whiskey and unneeded explosives. None of us are perfect.”
Celestia released a long sigh and looked out the window as her precious school came into sight. “We could have made it work, I think. I started dating to change my life. But when push came to shove, I found I didn’t want to. I’m happy where I am, and that makes me feel strange because I know I should want more.”
“If you like being single, stay single,” Luna said as they pulled into the school grounds. A familiar redhead leaned against its equine statue and waved at their approach. “And yes, my own self-interest lies there too because I’d be terrified if you ever moved out. But you’re a vampire-hunting bad-ass single mom of a magic space pony, so there’s nobody in the world who could say you’re somehow incomplete without an S.O.”
Celestia waved back at Sunset, putting on a brighter smile. “Hm, thank you. I’m not accustomed to feeling ‘wrong’ like that.”
“Fortunately, I’m an expert.”
“You’re perfect, Lulu.”
“Now believe it about yourself.” Luna reached over and jostled Celestia’s shoulder. “Come on, get pumped. In ten minutes we’ll be in no-shit Equestria.”
The gentle chuckle Celestia gave grew to a girlish titter as they stepped outside. “I am excited. And I’m so thankful you decided to come, I’d be scared by myself.”
Luna cracked a grin. “That’s another thing you do: discreetly phrase things to make it sound like other people are doing you favors, so they feel good about themselves.”
“It works.” Celestia stepped readily into Sunset’s hug, both her and Luna wearing loose purses with the few needs they expected in Equestria. The school stood deserted aside from them – Canterlot High forewent the traditional summer vacation for multiple shorter breaks through the year. The autumn one began yesterday, and would end two days after their return.
Seclusion was welcome, especially for what happened next. “Sunset, if you please.”
The young teen obligingly presented her back as the sisters disrobed by the statue’s mirror. None of them had any idea what would happen to human-made clothes on the way through, and Celestia had insisted their garments not be needlessly risked.
“Hey Tia, we’re naked in school.”
“Then put on your towel.”
A towel and a purse. According to Princess Twilight they wouldn’t even need those.
Two pink arms reached around and hugged Sunset from behind. “Love you. Study hard, stay safe, call Miss Harshwhinny if anything comes up.”
“Love you, Mom. Have fun.” Sunset patted one of the hands before they left her. “What am I talking about, of course you will. Just make sure Luna does, too.”
“Love you too, kid.”
“Love you Aunt Luna.”
“Love you Tia.” Luna added.
“Come on, joker. Before midnight.” Celestia placed a gentle peck on Sunset’s cheek then retreated. She hoisted the purse, traded a shrug and excited grin with Luna… and stepped through the portal.
Courtesy of Sunset’s sketches, the first sight of a mirror on the other side came as no huge surprise. Yes, they were clones of the Celestia and Luna of Equestria, sans jewelry and poise. And yes, another winged unicorn was there as promised. Her purple hue and lovably dorkish demeanor rendered her frantic introduction as “This world’s Twilight Sparkle, who fought Sunset and played in the Band Battle but didn’t join the Friendship Games or attend Canterlot High beyond that, who is a princess in this world but please treat me normally,” a bit unnecessary, but Celestia let the excitable girl get it out of her system.
Luna did not stare at her hooves and scream, as she said she would. Celestia had spent the last days presuming it was a joke, and felt duly grateful she was right.
They toured the “Friendship Palace,” earning the doubtless first of many eye-rolls from Luna. But Celestia covered as she always did, offering a steady flow of intelligent questions and polite awe at their surroundings. Things remained calm and pleasant as they moved on to the “Friendship School.”
Griffons and pegasi floated lazily in the air above them. Snow-capped mountains and idyllic fields could be seen in the distance, while outside Celestia caught glimpses of candy-colored ponies going about their business. Even what was surely Canterlot and Cloudsdale were visible – home of the derbies and galleries on their itinerary. That was only the start, too. Twilight, Sunset, and the demigod twins had coordinated beautifully, laying out a full month of adventure, relaxation, and fun before them.
A soft, tingling burn worked its way to Celestia’s throat. She coughed and rubbed it, feeling the sensation spread across her body.
She looked to Luna – shivering, just as Celestia now was. Like an adrenaline rush with nowhere to go.
A building violin began playing in the background. Celestia finally spoke up, smiling even as her mouth demanded more. “Twilight? Something’s wrong.”
Twilight turned to them, peering worriedly before giving a closed-eyes smile. “No, nothing’s wrong. Just let it flow!”
“What?” Luna snapped. “What the hell–”
A piercing whistle interrupted. They whipped around to see a grizzled police pony proffering an empty glass jar.
At the silence, he coughed grumpily and tapped his hoof on the glass.
“I’ll get this one.” Twilight raised a coin from some hidden source and dropped it in the jar. The officer eyed it, nodded, and went on his way.
“You have a swear jar?” Luna snarled, though ended with an ‘oof’ as Celestia nudged her with the… horse butt. Celestia had moved on instinct.
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Celestia chided. “It’s the same for Equestria.”
The violin grew louder, and rapid keys from a piano joined in. Luna stared back, sweating, as some unseen floodgates cracked in both of them. “Equestria?”
“Yes,” Celestia managed, trembling. “Here we are, in Equestria.”
“The home of Princess Celestia?” Luna responded with a husky whisper, her eyes like dinner plates.
Twilight squealed. “It’s happening!”
Both sisters thought the obvious question, but none could get it out. Instead they ran. Some unknown knowledge brought them out from the school, chased by a crescendo of music as the gates within them at last burst forth. They each took a deep breath, clopped one hoof to the other’s, and somehow waved outwards while balanced perfectly on their hind legs.
(To the tune of Another Opening, Another Show )
“Here we are in Equestria The home of Princess Celestia A chance for us to get some rest-ria Now, here we go into Equestria!”
Trumpets blared along as they twinkle-toed down the street, each step sending a piano chime through the air. Some ponies began swaying in place as they watched the display, while others stomped their hooves to the beat.
“This was a mistake.”
“When in Rome,” Celestia said again. “Just focus on the good things coming up for us.”
“Like what?” Luna grumbled. She twirled and sprung from Celestia’s side, and a swarm of butterflies passed behind her.
One hovered around Celestia’s nose, and she gave a particular hearty laugh Luna had not heard for a long time. “Well...”
“In Equestria I’m a talking horse No diabetes, so no remorse From eating doughnuts, and cake, and worse! So, here we go into Equestria!”
“I never knew you missed those things,” Luna said as they pranced down the street, followed in-step by a crowd of dozens.
“I don’t normally, but we’re ponies, so why not? We’re 300 pounds already. And then comes the airships, beaches, pegasus shows, art galleries!”
“Did you see the outdoor toilets behind the houses? It won’t all be fun and games.”
“That’s what makes it an adventure!”
“Vacation time is now here at last!” “But no idea how to scratch my–” “Luna! We’ve magic, wings, it will be a blast! Then, here we go into Equestria!”
“Wings, right.” Luna gave hers an experimental flap, laughing as it launched her three feet from the ground. “Think we can learn how to fly for real?”
“If it’s important for you we can cancel something else,” Celestia said. “I have a feeling you just agreed to those Canterlot art galleries for my sake.”
The crowd of dozens had became a hundred. The sisters took off, clumsily buffeting each other as they spiraled outwards, all while a familiar pegasus traced a rainbow in the sky.
“As humans go, we’re the only ones To cross this border to have some fun With butts of moonbeams, and butts of suns And here we go into Equestria.
We’ll have some good times, and trials too And stick together, sisters true! Middle-aged women, coming for you Are you ready for us Equestria?”
Author's Note
And now back to our regularly scheduled monster hunting.
[Also, have some exposition.]
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
The table Celestia had donated to their dorm was more an over-sized workbench, pulled out after years of collecting dust in the garage. Heavy and cumbersome for its role, it none-the-less gave room for one girl to clean guns or four to eat.
More to the point, it gave Sunset something on which to dramatically slam her palms to call the meeting to order. “Okay everyone, thank you for coming.”
“We live here.” Adagio lounged on a TV chair, tapping her phone.
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t.”
“The rest of us do. Don’t be selfish.”
Applejack gently bopped the yellow siren on the head. “Be nice, Daj.”
That got a smile. “Been a while since you called me that.”
“Don’t remind me,” Applejack sighed, then turned to Sunset. “So what’s up? Got a lead on the mysterious Mister D?”
“Maybe.” Sunset paused a second, willfully scanning the room to make sure their fifth was in. “The name I’m thinking sounded familiar, so I wrote Princess Twilight and got a hit from my world.”
She paused again. “Wallflower, do you know about Equestria?”
Wallflower ticked off points on her fingers. “I was there for the Fall Formal, half your planning sessions during the Battle of the Bands, and when you lost your shit on Twilight during the Friendship Games.”
Sunset reddened and gave a weak chuckle. “W...wow, I don’t remember meeting you at any of those.”
“We did at a few, but I was weird and awkward and zapped you with the memory stone thinking I could just redo it until I made a good first impression.” Wallflower shrugged, loudly stripping open a candy bar. “Pretty much my high school social life in a nutshell, but let’s get back on topic. Yes, I know about Equestria.”
“Cool.” Sunset nodded. “I’m going to be blunt, Discord–”
Adagio gave an obnoxious snort, though Sunset pressed on. “...Is like a demigod of Chaos in Equestria. He was sealed away before my and even Adagio’s time, and recently let free.”
“Our Discord’s a nut,” Adagio countered.
Sunset shook her head. “It follows a pattern. Equestria’s Sombra was an evil wizard, Earth’s was a lich. Their Chrysalis was queen of the changelings, here she runs a big tobacco company.”
“That ain’t really the same,” Applejack noted.
Wallflower responded with a grunt. “Yeah, ours probably killed more people.”
“And their Twilight’s a princess, their Celestia’s a sun goddess, and so on, so forth.” Sunset shrugged with her hands. “It’s never a perfect parallel, but there have always been more similarities than differences. That’s why I want us to tail him for a few days and see if we can learn anything.”
She hesitated. Then, “For, ah, for anyone who wants in. This kind of thing is important to me, but if anyone wants out I won’t say boo.”
“Find out if an evil demigod has tenure here?” Twilight scratched under the sleeves of her labcoat, then fingered a suspicious bulge in it. “That’s a little important for me, too.”
Wallflower nodded, and Adagio lazily raised a hand. “In. I still think you’re wrong, and don’t get the impression this makes us teammates. I just want to find this Mister D before he learns the ghouls failed and starts knifing virgins.”
She leaned backwards over the armrest and gave Applejack an upside-down smile. “Clever you – in refusing me sex, you make me a target and so force my cooperation.”
The smile only grew in the second before Applejack’s hat came down over it. “Y’all don’t even need to ask me, Sunset. Just remember to let your people know if we find something.”
“Absolutely,” Sunset said. “Any confirmed spookiness and I’ll call...”
She gave a slight cough. “...Miss Redheart. I printed Discord’s class schedule, and I saw which bus he takes to campus. Let’s split into shifts and see if we can keep tabs on him.”
The first opportunity was the obvious, easy one, and so the shift Adagio claimed for herself. She followed Discord from their mythology class, keeping pace as he climbed stairs to the “head” of the pig-shaped building. Its nostrils formed windows into a lounge, where Discord hurled himself to an easy chair and lifted a copy of the college newspaper from a trashcan. One hand shuffled a speaker-bud to his ear, and he began humming tunelessly while scanning the headlines.
Adagio sat at one of the tables, making a convincing show of a pupil in study. She cracked the myths textbook for the first time and set-to highlighting random lines. She even read a few by accident and couldn’t resist a snort. “After losing their contest with the muses, the sirens lost their powers and fell, each becoming a lonely island in the sea...”
She reread it, her humor fading before slapping the page aside.
Discord’s humming took form, making a pleasant rhythm as Adagio read on. The book got wendigos wrong, vampires wrong, animate mummies were a modern invention yet occupied a full chapter…
Her highlighter tapped to the beat. Her lips moved unconsciously at the right time, wordlessly following as Discord snapped his fingers and began tone-deaf singing.
“You're a star and you should know it
The coin dropped. “WHAT!?”
Discord looked up with a mild, snaggle-toothed smile as Adagio stormed towards him. “What the heck are you listening to!?”
“Only the hit new pop stars’ new hit, ‘Battle of the Bands!’ And I must say, this duo has a lot of talent.” Ignoring or not noticing the steam from Adagio’s ears, Discord produced his phone and displayed the album cover on his music app: Aria and Sonata, looking out with such infuriating grins Adagio felt certain they knew she’d see it.
“Albums!” Adagio snarled, and Discord wisely pocketed the image. “No way, no-how they’re launching albums so fast. And even if they did, I wrote that song!”
“Oh, you know how music is these days,” Discord said amicably, returning to his newspaper. “It’s all about getting ‘discovered’ and such. I feel sorry for all the suckers studying music here, but I guess someone has to flip burgers for the next generation.”
He hummed along, continuing to read as Adagio stormed from the lounge.
Afternoon. With the days cooling and more students spending their time outdoors, the senior tech class had laid out some boastful entertainment, playing their computer-generated movie on the bulletin screen over the student union. It was surreal, but pleasant: moving lights to the tune of soft music, giving an ethereal sense of weightlessness and mystery.
To those who cared, anyway. Applejack couldn’t understand why dozens of passers wasted perfectly good jogs and picnics watching TV. Discord was among their number, perched on the fountain’s rim with a serious expression at odds with Sunset’s description.
Applejack nervously sat next to him, aware that she was absolutely the wrong girl for subterfuge. Discord’s eyes remained on the screen, leaving her to quietly give it a go.
“Mister Discord, right? My friend Sunset’s in your class. She, uh, says she learns a lot in it.”
“Does she?” Like a floating apple, Discord’s head rotated slowly to look at Applejack, then back to the show. “Strange, I see her every day. That’s usually what people say when they cut class all the time, so maybe she isn’t paying as much attention as I thought.”
Applejack chucked, still unsure where she could possibly lead this. “Nah, she says it’s really good.”
“‘Good’ is perspective.” He gave a tight little smile. Again, the head moved slowly to bring eyes on Applejack. “The line often blurs in myths and legends.”
Those red and yellow eyes… something about them set Applejack to blinking, like she had gazed in the sun. She looked away, only thinking to neutrally add, “Yeah?”
Discord nodded, and the lights from the screen took a tantalizing red and gold. “Indeed. Did you ever hear the tragedy of Count Plagueis the Wise?”
“Nope.” Applejack half-rose to retreat, pushing herself up with the palms when Discord continued.
“He was a vampire so powerful he could use his magic to...”
Another slow turn of the head. “...Create life. To bring back his loved ones from the ashes of death, and reunite happily with those stolen away before their time.”
Applejack looked sharply, seeing Discord’s eyes still upon her. An enigmatic smile hovered below them.
“What’s more, that power is real.”
Memories of orange curls and strong yellow arms moved through Applejack’s heart as she answered with a soft, “Really?”
“OF COURSE NOT!” Discord threw out his arms, laughing uproariously. “I stole that from Star Wars. Oh my, but you should have seen the look on your face.”
Applejack’s wide gaze narrowed to a nonplussed glare. Still laughing, Discord pulled out a tissue and blew a trombone blast before continuing. “Listen, even if we entertain the silly notion of vampires, it is utterly beyond the realm of any chance that the dead live on somewhere. Heaven, Elysium, whatever you like, all the ludicrous invention of small-minded fools who pathetically believe Mommy and Daddy Dearest are waiting for them over a rainbow bridge. Some people just lack the maturity to accept the dead are gone forever, and you’ll never see them again, I suppose.”
Applejack bolted upright, ready to sprint in lieu of violence. But Discord, damn him, also stood, leaving her fuming in place as he strode from the park.
Gentle music and soft lights did nothing for Applejack’s mood as she pounded a number in her phone and held it up. “Sunset? Yeah, it’s me. I don’t know if Discord’s a vampire or demigod or how-diddy-doo-dah, but he’s a rat bastard all the same.”
Twilight Sparkle was not a girl who rode public transportation. She was a girl who got dropped off and picked up by her independently-wealthy parents every day, with her doting brother subbing in when needed.
She was the only one who could make it to Discord’s evening bus.
Fortunately, she was prepared. Exact change for the driver, a medical mask for the countless diseases clouding the air, and a pepper-based electric smoke bomb in her pocket for a quick escape. It worked like a combination smoke bomb, taser, and pepper spray, something she felt certain would corner the self-defense market once she decided to patent it.
Discord easily matched Sunset’s description, and some good or bad luck placed an open seat by his side. Twilight advanced furtively to the spot, dodging the eyes of strangers and wondering if Wallflower really had it so bad.
A relieved sigh escaped as she sat next to Discord. No talking, just listening. Observing, like an experiment! She could do that, although there seemed little to observe. Discord munched a banana as he read a dated sci-fi novel, and apparently found something in it greatly amusing. He kept chuckling, drawing curious glances from others as the chuckles grew louder and more frequent.
“Preposterous!” Discord finally burst out as the bus lurched at a stop-sign. He turned to Twilight, holding open the yellowed pages for her to see. “Utterly ridiculous! Science fiction is supposed to be at least based on the plausible, but this writer was a hack even in his time. Imagine – traveling through dimensions by riding accelerated positrons attached to Higgs Coxswains!”
Twilight shuffled in place, blinking at her quarry before setting her eyes to a thoughtful squint. “But coupling the two is exactly what creates the portal to E...”
She caught herself. “Um, other dimensions, in highly-theoretical research.”
“Sure, sure,” though Discord waved dismissively with the words. “Any twat can sit in a lab and ‘theorize.’ The point is that it’s not possible to bind the two for more than an instant.”
“To the extent of our knowledge, yes.” Twilight gave a competitive smile, warming to the subject and wondering just why the Equestrian portal was so stable. Magic, no doubt.
She went on, justifying her long nights into the subject. “But that’s just the current limits of science. It’s entirely possible we’ll discover a way to hold them together indefinitely.”
“Theories are worth their weight in gold,” Discord sniffed. “The very nature of positrons and Higgs Coxswains drives them apart instantly, it’s like me and my ex-wife. Sure, they can be together for an instant, but you would have to freeze time to keep them so! Equally impossible.”
Twilight bristled, but smirked and pushed up her glasses. “Only our perception of time is linear. If one could create a perfectly chilled, electronically-neutral vacuum environment, one can easily replicate the effect of...”
She gagged on the words, bright eyes staring past Discord to the scientific vistas beyond. She tarried a precious few seconds, struck dumb from it all, before the urgent inspiration rallied her brain to action. Trembling fingers ripped her notebook from its pack and began filling the pages with words and equations.
She never saw when Discord left the bus, or when it passed by her house.
Had anyone noticed Wallflower follow Discord home (they didn’t), they would have seen mud-brown eyes shining with determination, and petite fists closed as she strode purposefully to their destination. This was her moment to shine – a thing no one else could ever get away with. Experience at the Hailgrogar house had upended her worldview. She had saved lives. Her forgettable nature wasn’t a curse or side-effect, it was a superpower.
The house in question was an elder thing, built at the turn of last century or before. High, pointed roofs and concrete steps lead to a wide, decaying building that may have seemed haunted if not for the pink and orange polka-dots painted on the outside.
Discord bounded up the stairs, singing snatches of some rhyming tune. Wallflower scurried behind, slipping in as he came to the wood-paneled interior.
Strange, that Discord didn’t close the outside door. He all but skipped to his kitchen, leaving Wallflower to step
–And skid, flinging one foot skywards. The offending banana peel shot from beneath, sending Wallflower painfully onto her butt.
A screech went out before she could contain it. She froze, but Discord’s song continued without pause. “Smash the window, take the jewels, rise of Tirek, end of rules...”
Satisfied she wasn’t heard, Wallflower gingerly rose to her feet. She shook her head, cheeks puffed slightly with residual determination, and walked fearlessly into the kitchen. Discord took no notice – good. He reclined in a dining room chair, reading a book while idly tossing a small, clinking cloth bag up and down.
Just as Wallflower entered the dining room, Discord’s hand slipped. The bag clattered to the floor followed by an anguished cry. “My marbles!”
Wallflower was already putting her foot down when the commotion began. She slipped as marbles inevitably found their way beneath, launching herself back into the kitchen as Discord began hurriedly chasing his lost marbles. At least he wouldn’t accidentally touch her with how far away she fell.
...Still hurt, though. Wallflower gave herself a little breather before rising.
No problem. Just some bad luck, and a careless target. There was a whole house to explore, safely away from Discord.
Wallflower departed the first rooms. The old professor never looked up from his book as Wallflower made her rounds, passing the minutes with cries, thumps, snaps, and splashes.
Pantry? Mousetraps.
Bedroom? Dust. So much dust.
Bathroom? Soap bars on the ground.
Garage? Rake in inconvenient position, followed immediately by bucket full of water on unstable high shelf.
Determination morphed to Apple-worthy stubbornness as Wallflower refused to accept defeat. She finally arrived at stairs leading downwards and smiled darkly. If there was anything truly to be found, it would be in the basement.
No lights. She stepped down gingerly, carefully testing every stair before adding her weight. Twelve steps later her feet met concrete, though still no sign of light.
She fumbled along the wall, smiling again as her fingers brushed a plastic switch, then flicked it upwards.
Wallflower had forgotten to close her eyes. She squinted in the sudden glare, peering through it to find herself in an unadorned concrete basement. Nothing down here but a few odds and ends... and probably upwards of a hundred rats. They appeared similarly stunned by the light, silent and squinting for a moment before turning as one to face Wallflower.
No one heard the scream, or the rapid thumps as a small green girl ran pell-mell up the stairs and past Discord. No one saw as she tore through the open front door and off the property.
The wind from her passing rustled the pages of Discord’s book, and he wondered aloud if he left a window open.
It was perhaps a more frustrated than wise Sunset Shimmer who threw herself by Discord’s seat on the bus next morning. Her first “hunt” as something of a leader had not gone the way intended. Last night’s sleep was delayed with comforting bruised or insulted comrades (weirdly excepting Twilight, who was absent save for one-word texts) and pondering what Miss Harshwhinny would say if she knew.
“Hi, Mister Discord.”
Her frozen tone provoked a sunny one as Discord folded down his newspaper. “Good morning, Miss Shimmer! I didn’t know you took this route.”
“Not usually,” Sunset grumbled, glancing around the empty bus.
Then she pressed. “Don’t think I didn’t catch that you gave my friends the runaround yesterday.”
The words earned a snaggle-tooth smile that could not have looked less innocent. “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice. Quite a lot on my plate these days, rats in the house and all.”
“I can’t prove much,” Sunset tersely admitted. “And to be honest, if you’re what I think you are I don’t know if I could do anything. I just want to know if you’re a threat. If I should be worried. If you have some kind of… evil plan.”
“Firstly!” Discord snapped a finger and pointed upwards. “If you think I am some kind of – let’s come out and say it – ‘monster’… well, firstly-firstly, that’s stupid, secondly-firstly you’re a naive enthusiast indeed if you think showing your cards to some beast who might eat you is a good move. First time on your own, I’d guess?”
Sunset smiled grimly. “Cutting and accurate.”
Discord shrugged. “Simple inference by my superior intellect. Now secondly… secondly? Whatever, you asked me about a plan, and I ask you if I actually resemble someone who has a plan? If my propensity was to follow any kind of logical course, I assure you a career in education would not have been involved.”
He cut off Sunset’s response with a loud rustle of the newspaper, flashing its third page before her. “Come now, since you are so enamored with such topics, have a look at yesterday’s article in the Bankrupt Collegian – ‘girl claims to have been attacked by werewolf,’ hm!”
Sunset glared at the article, then her eyes shot wide. “Sour Sweet?”
Discord continued without pause. “Ate her dog, so she says, ha! Another rich modern type who suffered the worst parental abuse in existence by being sheltered throughout her childhood, now thrust uncomfortably into the present and desperate to once more be the center of attention. Some such types prowl in fast cars, some write fanfiction, and this one appears to be a sensationalist pity-seeker. Doubtless we’ll see her again in a year when a classmate looks at her and she sues him for harassment.”
He tossed her the still-open paper. Sunset fumbled with it, pulling down the page two seconds later to find Discord gone from his seat.
He stood several paces away, at the bus exit. Not an impossible distance.
The bus stopped. Discord tipped his hat, though the charm had drained from his face. “Class is about to start. By all means, skip it. Half the roster does. Call this an extra credit assignment: are there werewolves? Is the girl telling the truth? Or am I just trying to get rid of you? Your effort to play Scooby Doo with me was fun for a while. I enjoy comedy, I really do, but repetition is the death of humor.”
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Sour Sweet did not live in the Dali Hall. Hers was a tall, idyllic dorm that held a spot on every campus tour. One was even in progress now – a smiling vice-dean walked past Sunset with a horde of parents and bored teens in tow. “Next I’ll show you the cafeteria. Open seven days a week, with fresh produce and free bakery cookies available...”
She tagged along, blending in with the crowd long enough to sneak a dozen cookies into her backpack before resuming the trip.
The elevator didn’t screech like the Dali Hall’s, and the hallway didn’t smell like cigarettes. Sunset released a quiet sigh as she approached the hardwood door of Sour Sweet’s room and knocked twice.
An ‘Eep!’ came from the other side, followed by dead silence.
“Sour Sweet, it’s me,” Sunset called. “Let’s talk.”
Something pushed against the door. Probably the one-time preppie looking through a peephole.
“Why?”
“Do you really have a werewolf after you?”
“No. Go away.”
Too blunt, even for Sour. Sunset tried the door to find it locked.
“Why’d the newspaper say otherwise?”
“Why do you think?” Sour asked cheerfully, paving the way for a bitter follow-up. “I’m either an attention whore or a crybaby who watches too many horror movies. Ask anyone.”
“I’m not asking anyone, I’m asking you.” Sunset tapped again gently on the door. “I can help.”
A bare wobble marked the response. “Somehow I don’t believe you.”
“What have you got to lose?”
More silence. Then the smooth click of a turning lock.
Age had been good to Sour Sweet, though sleep hadn’t. The attractive frame of her Cyrstal Prep years had only been built upon, turning her to a beautiful young woman with black bags under the eyes. Other signs were there, too – frayed hairs outside her ponytail, and a distinct jumpiness as they traveled to the Dali Hall.
Sour blanched as their elevator opened on the sixth floor, bringing all its homely odors to bear. Sunset lead the way, chatting amicably for both their sake. “I’m not going to say don’t worry, but I have done this before. You’ll be fine.”
“I’m not worried at all! It’s not like my life is in danger or anything.”
“We’ll call in back-up if we need to,” Sunset promised. “I told the girls we’re coming. It’s a good group, you’ll see.”
She put in the key, wrestled with it for a second, and–
A voice shot out as the door swung. “OH, COME ON!”
The three dorm-mates – who Sunset had definitely told she was bringing company – lounged on the mismatched chairs in front of the television. Cartoon characters leaped and dodged on the screen, save one who had been launched from the stage.
“I was at eighty-percent! Rockhoof is broken.” Adagio sulked after her scream. She wore a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her hair.
Wallflower leered, giving the room a full view of a purple stain on her mouth from an open juice gallon-jug. “Waah, waah, waah. You’re just sore because everyone plays Somnambula, so everyone knows how to counter her.”
“It’s just a game, kids.” Applejack said – in a baggy T-shirt, and oddly lacking pants.
“Super Smash Pillars is a life,” Wallflower countered.
“Not for me it ain’t.” A bearded wizard flew off the screen, and Applejack rested her controller on an armrest. “That’s a wrap.”
Adagio gripped hers and leaned forward. “Rematch.”
“Guys,” Sunset cut in. “Sour Sweet’s here. Applejack, where are your pants?”
“Laundry day.”
“Wallflower, that juice is for all of us.”
The girl shrugged, taking another sip from the jug. “It’s fine. I’ll wipe the rim after.”
Sunset groaned and shook her head. A bad idea – the move brought Sour’s cruel smile into sight. It had only been refined and improved over the years, and Sunset contemplated that the situation could not get more embarrassing.
Then Pinkie Pie bounded through the open door in a bunny costume, handed Sunset (and Sour, because she was there) invitations to a Halloween party hosted by the campus Furry Appreciation Society, and bounded away.
Adagio started to paint her toenails, but by then Sunset had rallied. She marshaled the gang, sans Twilight – still absent after her time with Discord – and offered Sour a drink. “We have milk, apple whiskey, apple brandy, apple cider, apple wine, and jui… never mind.”
Sour Sweet chose the apple wine in two words, and downed it the moment Sunset passed off the glass.
“I’m doomed.”
“No you’re not.” Calm and encouraging, Sunset guided her to at seat at the table. “Everyone, this is Sour Sweet. She’s the one I showed you in the paper. Sour Sweet, can you tell us what happened?”
“Will you believe me?” Sour asked suspiciously.
Sunset nodded, feeling the time right for a sterner tone. “We’ve been through weird magic stuff together. The Friendship Games, then the brain worms. So yes, I believe you. Now I need you to believe me when I say I’m going to help.”
“Fine.” Sour said it quickly. She shook her head, turning her glare to the side. “Nothing to lose. Not much to say, either. I took my dog Garble for a walk in the woods behind our dorm last week. Late evening, but it’s all on campus so I thought I was fine.”
She folded her arms around each other, hugging herself while looking away. “I heard something clink as it approached. I thought it was a dog at first, but it was big. And fast. It had clawed arms and a wolf face… this is stupid, what else can I tell you? I dropped the leash and ran. Garble ran in the other direction and I guess it chose him.”
“Prankster in a costume,” Adagio said.
Sour slammed upright, glaring daggers at the siren.
Sunset laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “There is such a thing as false positives.”
The freckled preppie shrugged out of the gesture. “Well this isn’t. I looked back as I ran and saw it bite Garble’s head off. So now I have that burned into my memory, thank you very much, and I made it back to the dorm but I swear, I swear it waits outside for me at night. It must have seen me in the window, because it watches me. Not every night, but it’s like it has my scent and is waiting for me to screw up. You know, like how I did coming here in the evening thinking you losers could help.”
“You can spend the night here,” Sunset said, quickly enough to head off a fight. “I’ll sleep in one of the chairs. Or we can walk you back, because there’s still plenty of daylight. Don’t panic.”
“Fuck you,” Sour snapped, far coarser than her witty norm. Moisture gathered at the edge of her glare. “I’m going nuts. I haven’t been to my classes since then. I told Sunny Flare, but that bitch blabbed to the campus rag and now I’m famous as the idiot who believes in werewolves.”
“That’s how people who don’t know react to these things,” Sunset said calmly. “But I know werewolves are real. And you keep seeing it, so this isn’t a shaky-camera thing. We’ll be in touch. Give me your number, and I’ll get back to you with a plan.”
Sour Sweet refused the offer to walk her home – a vote of no-confidence if there ever was one. Sunset came anyway. Leaves crunched as they trod the autumn-blazed wooded path back to the wealthy dorm, all with daylight to spare.
Sour did give a muttered “Thanks,” as she entered. Probably the best Sunset was going to get. She waved as the girl vanished inside, then turned to make her own way home.
“I need to call Miss Harshwhinny.”
Saying it out loud was meant to steel her, but the words ended with a groan.
No help for it. Mom always said werewolves were a big deal, and Sunset would be a fool to let Harshwhinny’s stiff personality ward her away.
Her steps crunched briskly through the orange foliage, one hand dialing and the other straight at her side. She paused as the phone rang, stiffening her posture as though the recipient could see.
The answer came on the first ring. “Hello, Miss Shimmer.”
“Hi, Miss Harshwhinny.” Sunset swallowed down the crack in her voice. “So, uh… one of my classmates says she got attacked by a werewolf. It didn’t bite her, but it got her dog and she thinks it’s stalking her. Mom’s on vacation, you know, and… well, I’m calling you.”
“Good choice, for whoever instructed you to do so.”
Sunset winced, and Miss Harshwhinny continued. “Send me all information you’ve gathered and avoid contact with the person. You don’t know if they’re really unbitten.”
Not what Sunset expected. “O...kay? What do I do then?”
“Nothing.” Miss Harshwhinny announced primly. “The adults will handle things. I don’t object to Miss Celestia babysitting you when she’s around, but I have no interest in following suit.”
Sunset paused, blinking. A few seconds passed as she warred between anger and avoidance, then she snatched up a handful of leaves and began crushing them into the receiver. “W… you’re… breaking… up… sor...”
“Are you crumbling leaves?” Harshwhinny snapped. “Miss Shimmer, this is hardly a mature response to disap–”
Sunset flicked the red button on her phone, ending the call.
Then she dialed a different name.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Miss Redheart,” Sunset said a bit more cheerfully. “Uh… werewolf on campus. Think you can help?”
The white woman’s voice took a serious tone. “Werewolves are bad news, kid. An adult who makes good choices would stop you right there.”
Another loss. “Really?”
“Yeah, but no worries, I’m a nurse.” Redheart went on, suddenly jovial. “I wasn’t joking about the werewolves, though.”
“You guys realize I’m an adult, too.”
“You’re nineteen. We both know how it… oh, snap.”
A crumpled ‘BAMF’ sounded over the line, followed by the low hiss of automatic sprinklers and patter of water on linoleum. Sunset waited as footsteps brought the noise to a distance and a door closed between them.
“If your mom asks, I’m not at school,” Redheart said. “Anyway, fighting werewolves isn’t the usual ‘grab guns and wing it’ deal. Like, zombies will only kill you if you do everything wrong. Werewolves will kill you unless you do everything right. We usually call the Pies in for it, and I suggest you do the same. They’re kind of the werewolf experts.”
“So why didn’t she just tell me that?” Sunset grumbled.
“Huh?”
“Nothing! Thanks, Miss Redheart.”
The Pie household was closer to the city center than the Apples’, but not by much. That and hefty evening traffic gave Sunset plenty of time to watch her driver sigh, squint, and fidget in place in a near-unbroken stream ever since she learned their destination.
Applejack finally caught Sunset’s eyes and gave a nervous chuckle. “Sorry girl. Just… been a while since me and Limestone talked.”
Sunset had been through breakups. “I’m not asking.”
“Whatever, I’m telling.” Applejack leaned back in her chair, one hand on the wheel while the other gestured. “We were a bad fit, that’s all. You know me by now, Sunny, I let little things get to me. Not the dirt under the nails, but what folks say about the dirt under the nails. Sometimes I still lie awake thinking of Anon-A-Miss, or freshman year when you… ah, never mind. So you take a girl like that and you take a girl like Limestone. You know how she’s, let’s be real, mean as a hornet? Well that’s her in public. That’s her with the filter on.”
“I can’t even imagine,” Sunset said honestly.
Applejack gave a grim laugh. “And I don’t have to. We fought bad, and things ended messy. Her saying she shouldn’t have to censor herself for her beau, me saying she should treat me with gul-darn respect. Reckon she hates me now.”
“You’re right, she’s wrong.” Sunset gave Applejack’s shoulder a companionable slap. “You deserve someone who makes you feel good about yourself.”
Applejack patted the hand on her shoulder. “Sunny, if you were gay...”
The chat drifted from there, though a few more sighs and fidgets emerged as the Pie’s drab brown house came to sight. Applejack declined an offer to remain in the car, instead walking forwards alongside Sunset to knock on the white-painted door.
From the upstairs, someone could be heard losing their lunch, followed by their breakfast, with a mosaic of swears ringing out between spews. Noisy and visceral enough to drive a shiver down both newcomers’ backs.
Fortunately, another was home. The door opened within the moment, revealing a shrimpy, purple-haired girl on the other side.
Sunset raised one hand, palm out. “Hi, Maud.”
A few seconds passed as Maud appraised them with her half-lidded gaze. “Hello.”
She blinked slowly. More vomiting sounded from upstairs, now without the outside wall to muffle it.
“Pinkie’s not home.”
“We’re actually not here for Pinkie,” Sunset replied. “It’s, uh, ‘business’ related, if you know what I mean.”
Maud stared, neither budging an inch nor offering a word.
Applejack coughed gently. Sunset scratched the back of her head. The vomiting upstairs took a particularly moist turn.
“Monster hunting,” Sunset clarified.
“I understood you the first time.”
Sunset had dealt with Maud enough times to put on the smile and plow through. “Is your dad home?”
“No.”
“Your mom?”
“No.”
Sunset cast an apologetic glance to Applejack. “Limestone?”
Maud gave a dull blink. “Yes.”
A voice wailed from upstairs before trailing into a fresh round of bodily noises. “I AM BORED OF PUKING! HOW CAN SOMEONE GET BORED OF PUKING? WELL LET ME–urp….”
“That was her.”
Messy as things had been, Applejack could only cringe in simultaneous disgust and sympathy. “I am so sorry. Hope she gets well soon.”
Maud nodded, as a glacier might. “She’ll appreciate you said that.”
Then, giving the first proof this wasn’t a Maud-shaped robot: “Applejack, Limestone knows she has problems with her temper and that she should have been better. She’ll never come out and say this, but she is sorry for how she acted. And for what it’s worth, you seem to have been a wake-up call for her. I have noticed her getting better at dealing with people and handling adversity more maturely.”
“HOW AM I STILL PUKING? FUCK THIS, FUCK ME, FUCK EVERYTHING! IT IS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW!”
“This is an exception,” Maud calmly added.
“I believe you,” Applejack said with a small yet growing smile. “Her and Adagio… reckon we all grow up eventually. Load off my mind to hear you say that, Maud.”
Maud gave a brief tightening of the lips which may have counted as a smile, then turned her eyes back to Sunset. “Mom, Dad, and Granny Pie are in the hospital. Nothing major, just dad’s COPD needing work again.”
“Best wishes,” Sunset said, then gave a light chuckle. “Life doesn’t stop for hunting.”
“They should be out in a week,” Maud said. “I can work with you, though I would understand if you wanted to wait for them.”
Sunset shook her head. “A week might be too long. Maud, tell me what it means when a werewolf tracks one person. Do we have that kind of time, or do we need to act fast?”
“Acting fast will kill you,” Maud droned. “I have to make sure Limestone’s safe, but I can be with you tomorrow afternoon to start work.”
Applejack looked at her sharply. “Tomorrow? What if it goes after Sour tonight?”
Another dull blink came as Maud rested her hand on the doorknob. “Then she will die. So will you or me if we try to stop it before we are ready.”
Words tried to form on Sunset’s lips, but Maud closed the door before she could bring them out.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Author's Note
All the nice comments feel so nice, and all I can do to repay you is give more chapters.
Werewolves of Canterlot
Sunset was smart the second time. They met in the evening at Sour Sweet’s dorm, heading off the next round of roommate-induced humiliation. Good thing, too – a broken dryer meant Applejack’s damp socks were hanging from every ledge and doorknob, and Adagio set off their smoke alarms by burning a magazine that interviewed Aria Blaze. Sunset even managed to wrangle Twilight, convincing her the latest theory of positron-whatnots could wait.
Sour Sweet’s rooms were a bit of a culture shock for all but Twilight. A private den and kitchenette gave her more space than the four dorm-mates combined, though marks of new paranoia marred the well-to-do opulence. A crowbar rested against her modern glass desk, and the window blinds stood closed.
Applejack went to open the blinds, but Maud’s dull tone broke in. “Don’t.”
She stared levelly back at their curious looks. “The werewolf may be sapient. If it sees different people in the window it might know you’ve brought in help.”
“Good point, Miss Maud,” Sour said happily before finishing with a grumbled, “This is your specialist, Sunset?”
Sunset grumbled right back. “You know, no one’s paying us to be here. This is our free-time, money, and lives, so it wouldn’t kill you to be a little grateful.”
“‘Grateful’ comes after you do something.” Sour shrugged and tossed Sunset a bottle. “But whatever. Here, have a snack, make yourselves at home.”
Sunset caught and examined the tube. “Cheese-Whiz? Are there crackers somewhere?”
“No.”
“Give it here,” Applejack and Adagio said together, both reaching a hand out.
Sunset passed it off to Applejack. With the group perched on various beds, chairs, and dressers, she looked to Maud. “The floor is yours, and please take it. I called Miss Redheart again today and she said Mom’s group won’t touch this without her. It’s us or nothing, and I for one am getting a little nervous with how everyone says werewolves are bad news but no one says why.”
“Because if knowledge is power, inadequate knowledge is the illusion of power, and that is dangerous.” Maud put her back to the window, staring straight ahead and so seeming to catch every gaze. “Werewolves are large, fast, and cunning. They can quickly move to and dispatch any threat, and their heightened senses means they can often detect and ambush would-be assailants. They are also physically invulnerable, requiring a sufficiently large and powerful silver weapon to pierce their muscle and enter the heart to kill them. Silver bullets in a handgun, for instance, will only hurt and enrage it.”
“Long-arms,” Sunset said, head bowed as she listened. “Rifle, crossbow. We’ll need to work on that.”
“Shotgun?” Applejack asked.
“Limestone says shotguns are stupid,” Maud intoned. “They are only useful at very close ranges, where the werewolf could easily reach you.”
Applejack frowned, flushing slightly. Maud unzipped a camping backpack she brought with her and laid out a huge mining pick with a gleaming silver head. “I fight with this.”
Sunset tried the weight, gulping as she found it barely manageable with both arms. Her gaze shifted from the pick to Maud’s malnourished stature, then to Adagio as the two exchanged a shrug.
“Question!” Wallflower sang out, giving Sunset a twinge of guilty pleasure as Sour jumped in surprise. “Why doesn’t it just change into a human and walk into the dorm? Or jump her at class, because what are the other students going to do?”
“What wonderful questions,” Sour cheered, following with, “I wasn’t scared enough already.”
Maud’s blank stare moved to Wallflower. Or perhaps it remained still – hard to tell with that girl. “There are different kinds of werewolves. Loosely, there are two: humans who are cursed by the bite and can transform at night, or those who have lost themselves in the beast and never turn back. The former is just a human during the daytime. The latter has a wolf’s instincts, and so prefers its prey alone and vulnerable.”
“Wow, cool,” Sour groaned. “So why me? Why frickin’ me?”
Grey bony shoulders inched upwards. “It could be someone out for revenge on you. It’s also not unknown for feral werewolves to get attached to some prey that was denied to them and compulsively seek it out to eat.”
“Or mate,” Adagio said, licking her lips broadly at Sour. “I saw it happen in London once. Bit the girl, next full moon she turned, and they ran off happily ever after.”
Sour’s mouth twisted up in an angry sneer. “Go fuck yourself, because no one else will.”
“Easy, easy.” Sunset waved them both down. “Let’s stay focused.”
Applejack gave the yellow siren a firm poke on the shoulder. “And be. Nice.”
“That was nice.” Adagio’s voice turned to silk. “If all goes wrong, isn’t it better to be turned than eaten? Losing one night a month seems like a pretty good...”
She trailed off, shivering with the room’s sudden chill. Her gaze, along with the rest, turned to its source.
No angry squint or snapped reply signaled Maud’s displeasure. No frown aside from her eternal neutrality, and no aggressive motion. Not even a curled fist, or twitch of the eyebrow. Just the cold, and a distant rumble as she spoke. Like a cave-in beneath the placid face of a mountain.
“That is not better at all.”
The chill seemed to come from her eyes, still eerily meeting everyone’s at once. “There is no ‘controlling’ being a werewolf. There is no ‘living with it.’ Not without some very professional guidance. People try, yes. They realize what happened and act like they’re losing one bad night per month. They go about their lives, pitying themselves and pretending the curse isn’t real. They learn to sleep with the windows open so they don’t have to clean up glass after the full moon. Then they wake up the next morning, brush their teeth, and go to work. Dead animals, pets, missing people… ‘human’ werewolves never even hear about what they do. They get used to the idea of being a werewolf, and as the months pass they decide it’s not so bad. Then the full moon comes again, and with every swing of the pick I wonder what I killed: a mindless beast, or an entitled fool? And I wonder which is worse.”
The cold green gaze shifted like melting ice, bringing itself squarely to Sunset. “I can’t rightfully tell you to stay away. I would not hunt a werewolf alone, which means I would then have to wait and hope it doesn’t strike before my family was ready. But I do want the stakes made very clear to you all. And I want you to follow my instructions to the letter.”
The gaze was terrifying, but Sunset held her ground. “Agreed.”
Maud gave a slow nod, and the vague, distant rumble came to an end. “Pass the Cheese-Whiz.”
Maud’s first orders were anticlimactic, though Sunset had enough experience by now to know it was for the best. They bored a few peepholes in Sour’s window blinds, while Applejack departed after promising to return with long-arms. Twilight took some device to the woods and ran tests, though three hours of work yielded nothing but vaguely-reliable evidence a real werewolf was involved. And Wallflower… well, Sunset didn’t know where she got off to.
All this left Sunset and Adagio to watch from one end of the dorm’s rooftop while Maud minded the other. Both shivering and grumbling in the fast-chilling October, with Sunset feeling more naked than usual without her side-arm. Werewolves could smell both silver and gunpowder on the wind, and knew what the combination implied. The pair had only binoculars between them, equipped as such to gather any information about its size, habits, and whether it really existed.
Adagio of course grumbled loudest, which Sunset wasn’t having. “Not my fault you wore a sleeveless belly-shirt and short-shorts to a nighttime stakeout.”
Adagio sniffed, not looking up from her binoculars. “Not my fault you can’t rock it like I can.”
Sunset bit back a retort, letting it fade with a sigh. She leaned back from her own search and checked her phone. Eleven at night – nine hours til her next class. Cutting it was a tempting prospect, not made less so by how little Mister Discord seemed to care. Her gaze moved up to Adagio, still intently searching despite all expectations.
Sunset reached in her purse, smiling at her own foresight. “Split a granola bar with me?”
The siren lowered her binoculars, but remained at her post and held out a hand without looking. “Give me the bigger half, I’m starving.”
“You’d starve less if you ate more than lettuce for dinner,” Sunset said. She broke the bar imperfectly, and after a moment’s dilemma handed off the larger part.
“Gotta lose weight.” Adagio snatched the offering and jammed it into her mouth.
Sunset stood next to her, leaning out over the railing. A nice night, werewolf or no. “You might want to do some actual research on that. I’m pretty sure starving and snacking isn’t a winning strategy.”
“I don’t snack,” Adagio said airily. She flicked her curls, and Sunset dodged.
“Is that why our ice cream always disappears the night we buy it?”
“God yes, I love it when you jam yourself into my business.”
Sunset rose from the lean and folded her arms, looking right to Adagio. “It’s what I’d do for a friend.”
That at least got the siren to look at her. Pink eyes met green, with their bags visible beneath the makeup.
The response came too late to be natural. “We’re not friends.”
“Then what are we?” Sunset asked. “Never mind, answer this instead: why are you here? You said you’re a virgin so that makes you a target… I didn’t call you out then, but that’s sketchy. And it doesn’t explain why you’re spending beauty sleep out here looking for werewolves, or why you joined this very dangerous hunt in the first place.”
Adagio smirked with one side of her face. “Can’t a lady have secrets?”
“Of course.” Sunset took a deep breath, her gaze finally wavering to the darkened woods. She rubbed her hands, only partially for warmth. “For whatever it’s worth, and however much you care: I appreciate your help. I’m glad you’re here, and I’ll keep any secret you ever want to share.”
There. Adagio could do what she wanted with it. Sunset raised her binoculars and resumed scanning the woods.
A voice purred from outside her narrowed vision. “Any secret at all?”
“It’s what I’d do for a friend.”
A soft, squeaky laugh burst out from the side. Sunset looked to see a less familiar Adagio in place, grinning back to her with a smile that seemed almost genuine. “You and Applejack. Sappy, white-knight idiots. But that’s why you won, isn’t it?”
She threw out her curls, for once not aiming at Sunset’s head. “Fine, fine – maybe we’re friends, maybe not. Where’s the line, anyway? One way or another, you lot are the closest things I have. Hunting with you gives… hm, ‘fulfillment’ is a good way to say it. You act like superheroes, while I’m just drinking in the thrill and uncertainty, and getting reacquainted with the feeling of jamming knives into flesh. And when college is done, I’ll either flip burgers and drown slowly in debt or join an orchestra in pathetic memory of my siren days. This is fun-time, and I’m happy to have someone to share it with.”
Sunset closed her eyes and gave a kindly grin. “You’re on the same page as a lot of Mom’s cowork–”
“AnIWanGeBaWithAJ.”
“Huh?”
Sunset blinked her eyes open to see Adagio wearing a curious frown. “What?”
“What was that last part?”
“What last part?” Adagio asked, then shook her head. “Back to work. Actually I think we’re supposed to keep it… oh, hello. Sunset, get low and train your binoculars on that big elm right at the edge.”
Sunset moved to obey. “Shouldn’t you get down, too?”
“A girl on a roof won’t attract its attention.” Adagio sniffed, leaning out over the railing. “Another with binoculars might.”
It took Sunset a moment to bring the elm into focus. Succeeding stole away her breath, not that it matched what she imagined of a werewolf. Even to her suspicious eye it seemed only a wolf. Not even a large one through the binoculars, until she compared it to the elm tree and saw just how big it really was. Easily eight feet in length, with thick corded muscles bulging from the shaggy frame. It paced and sniffed, driven to anxiety yet oddly reluctant to close distance to the dorm. Strange patched brown and blond fur rustled in the breeze, each agitated motion never carrying its gaze from Sour Sweet’s window.
Breathless minutes passed. Sunset opened her mouth to ask a question, then closed it without word as the wolf bared its fangs. Thinner and sharper than she imagined. The lips pulled back further, then beyond what should have been possible to display still more teeth behind. It set a claw upon the tree and unleashed a throaty, vicious howl.
...Claw?
Sunset rolled the dial on her binoculars, zooming out slightly. The beast had changed, or had she just been mistaken before? It was clearly bipedal now, with meaty ape-like arms. Long length had become height, giving an illusion of thin lankiness curving into a hunched back.
“Definitely feral,” Adagio murmured. “A human would try to be clever. Look at that thing, it wants her bad.”
It really did. Yellow eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight, staring intently to Sour’s window as it unleashed another howl, and in that moment Sunset forgave the unlikable girl for everything. To be besieged by such a creature, helpless and disbelieved… Sunset would be a little snippy, too.
Adagio mimed shooting from her fingertip. “Maud’s the expert, but if that thing is this predictable, I see no reason why we can’t get it from up here. Carry some bacon or whatever to hide the smell, and boom.”
“We need a good hit through the heart, not sure we can swing it at this range...” Sunset murmured, half to herself. “We should check in with Maud, see what plan she wants.”
“Good talk.” A moment’s hesitation broke it, but Adagio gave Sunset’s shoulder a friendly shove. “There aren’t many people I’d rather freeze my ass on a rooftop with.”
Sunset smiled back, but the corners wobbled upon seeing just how sharp Adagio’s canines seemed under the moon. A trick of the light, but still…
“Tomorrow’s going to be fun.”
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Mano a Mano With a Fucking Werewolf
Maps of the campus, seeking fire-lanes to the werewolf’s haunt. Silver needles on Sour’s window ledge, and an evening of sharpshooting at the gun range. Maud did things differently than Celestia’s group, with slow, methodical motions.
To Sunset’s mind, the days of planning took a great risk with middling payoff. The examination of sniper lanes came to naught – Applejack was a decent marksman, and Maud an average one. None of the rest had much experience with long arms, nor did they have any true sniper tools. Maud produced a lever-action Winchester, while Applejack’s search yielded a hefty rifle from generations past.
“Worked for Macintosh Senior in the Pacific. I reckon it’ll do a werewolf just fine.”
Sunset had been skeptical, but Maud examined the weapon and declared it adequate. Sunset herself took Celestia’s shotgun. Limestone be damned, if the rifles failed they’d need a backup.
As for the rest… well, at least there were no surprises. An abortive lesson at the range established Wallflower as panicky and gun-shy, while Adagio refused to risk her precious soft hands and fingernails with any practice. Twilight refused as well, though she pledged a heat-scanning drone to the cause, in addition to whatever mad science lurked in her coat pockets. Sunset was afraid to ask, though she hoped for something easily bent to violence.
Between their limited skill and equipment, the only good firing spot was Sour’s dorm itself. To hear Maud tell it, things would go very quickly one way or another. They would ambush the werewolf and gun it down, or it would be in their midst before any Plan B could be made.
More sleepless observations showed the werewolf didn’t come every night, and it didn’t always peer from the elm tree. And it was wary. Perhaps the delay made it anxious, perhaps some hint of the hunters’ tension could be smelled. The wolf grew cautious and twitchy, sometimes howling from behind the tree line, and rarely spending more than a few minutes in one place. Hardly enough time for the guarantees Maud was looking for.
They needed bait.
Sour agreed. She was tired of waiting, though she said it like she was scheduling her own funeral.
A clear night with a half-moon. Maud said her grandfather believed werewolves were at their weakest then, though she noted it might be superstition. No scientific studies on this sort of thing, even from Twilight or Whooves.
They arrived during the day. Watched netshows on Sour’s television – ironically about a whiny ‘good’ vampire – while Maud methodically examined every gun and silver bullet. Silver could be sniffed out, but if the werewolf was distracted… focused on something else…
Evening fell. They went to the roof.
“Wait, stop,” Adagio said. “You have a bee by you. Hold on...”
She reared up and slapped Applejack’s backside. “Got it!”
Applejack raised an eyebrow, muttering her thanks as Twilight threw her drone to the air. Fifteen minutes passed while they watched the drone’s scans on her laptop’s screen, then she pointed to a red signal and announced their target was close.
Twilight’s eyes blinked to Sunset, and she gave a nervous laugh. Sniper and spotter respectively, her and Applejack would remain on the roof. The others got onto the elevator, with Maud and Adagio parting ways to shoot from the third-floor bedroom.
Sunset would go outside with Sour Sweet, shotgun in hand. A mix of threat and reward to hopefully keep the werewolf’s attention.
...Not much for Wallflower to do here. Maud gave her a first aid kit and said to watch from inside.
Sunset rubbed Sour Sweet’s back. The gesture got an eye-roll and groan, but Sour didn’t pull away.
The elevator chimed on the ground floor, and the pair departed. They exited on the woodland side and walked several steps from the building’s base, then turned to walk parallel to the wall. Visibility to the other teams let them track both werewolf and bait, ideally letting them gun it down before contact.
Ideally.
Sunset released her hold on Sour, hiding the faint tremble that came to her. Sweat greased her grip on the shotgun, loaded for bear with heavy silver slugs. Not so comforting after learning nothing but a perfect shot would matter.
She slung it to a two-handed pose. “You’ll be fine.”
The response was a snap. “You think I haven’t heard you guys talk about how all the real hunters think I’m not worth the risk?”
Sunset took a calm breath, pointedly reminding herself Sour had every right to be afraid. “You are. They’re just sick or busy. And besides, we are real hunters.”
Wetness gleamed on Sour’s eyes in the moonlight. “Oh, please. A redneck, nerd, and brat princess, and I swear that Maud girl has autism or something. And you’re a mommy’s angel with delusions of–”
“Sour.”
Somehow, having to care of this angry girl gave Sunset patience she never knew she had.
Courage, too – Sunset’s tremble stopped as purple eyes found hers. “You’ll be fine. Now I need you to be quiet and let me work.”
Sour clenched both fists, but obeyed. They continued walking in silence, broken only by the rustle of browning grass.
...And Twilight’s voice in the bluetooth in Sunset’s ear. “She knows you have your phone on, right?”
“And that we’re all in the call,” Maud said. “We dialed in on the roof.”
Applejack’s stern tone cut in. “Girls, let it go. Twi, how are we doing?”
“The signal is still fifty meters deep in the woods.” Twilight sniffed wetly into her speakers, drawing a cringe from Sunset. “But it’s been stopped for thirty seconds now maybe it… uh, moving again.”
“How fast?” Maud asked.
A keyboard tapped behind Twilight’s words. “Not fast. Actually, slower than before. But Sunset, it’s going right for you.”
Sunset nudged Sour to stop walking. “What angle?”
“Geometric, quadonometric, or non-Euclidean?”
“English, Twilight.”
“Call it ten o’clock: ahead of you, almost perpendicular.”
“Hold position,” Maud said. “Everyone, try to spot it. Hold fire until both snipers see it, or it starts to charge.”
Twilight cut in. “Almost out of the woods. It started running, then stopped again now.”
Sour did not bring an earpiece, and so glowered to Sunset’s side. “Will you please clue me in?”
Sunset firmly took her arm and pushed her between Sunset and the building. “Your friend’s here. Remember what we said, you can’t outrun it. If you stay behind me I can drill it point-blank if the others miss.”
She braced, turning her full attention and the muzzle of her gun down to the forest. The moon’s light there filtered down through the half-full trees, alternating shadows and pitch black. Leaves flew and branches waved with a growing breeze, bringing a crescendo of rustling which felt to deafen Sunset’s nervous ears.
She cursed the wind, but a moment later she blessed it for there was one thing in that sea of shadowed motion which remained utterly still. The curiosity of it caught her, although a lingering gaze almost dismissed it in her mind as simply part of the large elm until happenstance imagination traced a wolf-like ear… then yellow eyes, looking at or through her.
It was only unconscious duty that brought Sunset’s voice to say, “By the elm.” Everything else drained into the yellow eyes – bright and ghostly, promising death with no hope of retaliation. Her fingers grew cold, her heart thrilling with a terrible whisper that she was the prey and not the hunter. Even the wolf’s mundane appearance contributed, for she knew what lurked within… knew and could not see…
The shotgun was warm from her grip. She felt the heat on her numb fingers, and Applejack’s kind voice in her ear.
“Good job, Sunny, real good job. I got a bead on it.”
Maud spoke right after. “Me too. Sunset, are you ready?”
Sunset let out a slow breath, feeling her terror go out with it. It was like angels watched over her, except they were friends instead of angels. Much more reliable. “Now I am.”
“Alright.” A mechanical click followed Maud’s voice. “Hold fire until you’re point-blank. Applejack, with me...”
“...Now.”
Two different rifles barked at once. The werewolf gave a shrill, feral yipe as a thin jet of blood shot from its shoulder. A blink’s time changed its form to an ape-armed brute, and on all fours it charged.
Curses and shouts came uselessly over the line. The crack of a second bullet sounded from the roof to no effect. Sour Sweet mewled weakly and collapsed to the ground.
Sunset aimed – at what? The left chest? There was nothing but a hairy blur of long arms, trailing chain, and narrow teeth that would be on her in the next second.
The shotgun’s comforting kick launched into her shoulder. Even before the blood came she knew it was wrong – there, in the crook of its right elbow.
Sunset’s breath fled her body, and she definitely felt ribs crack as the wolf made contact. Her trigger hand still gripped the shotgun, but she was flying…
And then stopped abruptly, pulled by many sharp feelings on her shoulder. A wet sensation blossomed out from it as the sharp feelings slammed her to the ground. The wolf loomed high, raising claws as wide as her wrists.
Something caught the moonlight above the wolf. Something silver.
The werewolf saw, and leaped away. Maud’s pick buried into the ground, its owner no worse from her three-story jump. The wolf was still recovering when Adagio launched from Maud’s shoulders, silver knife in each hand. She landed perfectly, then twirled eel-like around the wolf’s clumsy guard and buried a blade between its left ribs.
Still no death. The wolf turned, but Adagio circled fast enough to keep pace. “Not deep enough? Well let’s start digging!”
Adagio jerked the blade savagely, drawing a fresh eruption of blood. She twirled ahead of the claws, and gave mocking laughter even as they forced her back.
Still half-dazed and confused by the feeling in her arm, Sunset tried to get her shotgun to bear as Maud recovered and charged. A drone rammed the werewolf’s head, trying and failing to cover her move. Long arms punched the heavy pick aside, and may have disemboweled Maud if a bullet from above hadn’t knocked the beast off-balance.
The claws still scratched Maude’s belly, ruining her shirt along with. Droplets of dark blood pooled into her navel as she rallied, emotionless, just out of claw’s reach. She stared the werewolf down, and as one second passed Sunset swore a gray hand curled upwards, giving unspoken command to bring it on.
The wolf obeyed. It jumped instead of pounced, nowhere near Maud’s low swing as its knee connected with her face. Claws again rose to flay, this time getting tangled in a second drone. The instant’s delay launched Maud to tentative safety, though her pick spun in the wrong direction and she collapsed with the fall.
One foe down, the wolf spun on Adagio, whose smile grew a deal less gleeful.
But Sunset had the shotgun ready. Not her best-aimed shot, with the left arm growing numb. Yet the wolf’s turn gave her a beautiful view of its side, and perhaps a bare two seconds remained before melee with Adagio obscured her aim.
Again came the kick, and heartening retort. The silver slug entered just above Adagio’s cuts, crushing ribs and impacting a great bloody something that filled the hole with spurting blood.
There was more, too. Ribs around it bent outwards, like something exploded with no room to go. The wolf staggered and jerked violently, then went motionless at a stand.
Bright yellow eyes met Sunset’s. There was meaning in the gesture, surely, but all she could do was stare as the beast collapsed – a large, gunned-down wolf, and nothing more.
Sunset blinked, and blinked again. Dizzy, but somehow unable to fall. The wet feeling had spread to her fingers. Distantly, like a fading dream, she noticed Maud climb to her feet, and heard the elevator chime inside.
A last blink cleared her thoughts as a familiar drawl exited the dorm. “Didn’t know you brought two drones, Twi.”
A nasal, nervous chuckle answered. “I, uh, only had the one. I saw the second flying around and hacked it. Figured it might... oh no, Sunset!”
“What?” Sunset turned, looking worriedly to her panicked friends.
Then down, to the blood dripping from her left hand. “Oh.”
She traced its flow upwards, past shiny pools on black leather to the ordered teeth marks around her shoulder. “...Oh.”
“Girls, we got a problem,” Applejack said urgently.
Wallflower ran forwards, unzipping her polyester aid kit. “Get her jacket off!”
Sunset complied, and following it with her bloody shirt revealed bruises along the chest. Wallflower busied herself cleaning and bandaging, squeaking “I’m helping!” every few seconds.
“Me next, please.” Maud approached at an even tromp, her ruined shirt balled up and pressed to her wounds. Her face was strangely unbruised, and Sunset vaguely wondered if the werewolf’s knee had taken more damage in the exchange.
Their eyes met, and the thought died. Maud’s gaze – cold as ever – drifted to Sunset’s bite.
Sunset shivered, wanting to retreat but somehow unable. She grinned weakly as Maud stepped close and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you.”
The fear babbled out of Sunset’s mouth. “Maud, please tell me this isn’t the part where you snap my neck to stop me from becoming a werewolf.”
“What?”
Maud’s habitual monotone was unchanged, but as she stepped back Sunset saw confusion on the gray face. “No. No, Sunset.”
“I heard you the other day!” Sunset snapped, her voice cracking. “You said it’s not something you can live with.”
“I said you can’t do it without professional guidance.”
“And are you a professional werewolf tamer?”
“Well, no, but listen to me.” Maud took her by the bloodstained hand, staring with deathly earnest into Sunset’s eyes. “We get bit sometimes. It’s just part of the business. We contact Miss Redheart when it happens, and we’ll do so for this. Tonight. She has pills and compounds that can destroy the curse when it’s young. It’s not perfect, and yes, you’ll sleep in a cage next full moon just in case. I don’t know what will happen, but whatever happens, you will be fine.”
“We’re all in this together, Sunny.” Applejack made to slap Sunset on the shoulder, then halted in the nick of time. “We’ll make it a girls’ night when the time comes. I’ll be right in that cage with you.”
“Right outside the cage,” Maud corrected.
Adagio cut in from her position at the werewolf’s corpse. “You guys are so sappy I want to mine you for syrup. But come here, get a load of this.”
The party gingerly approached the still, fallen form of the wolf, where Adagio lifted one end of a heavy chain. It terminated in a spiked drill, embedded in some fragment of concrete that was presumably once part of a floor.
“The chain I saw,” Sunset mused, trailing it with her eyes to a metal collar around the wolf’s neck. “Oh, and the clinking Sour told us about when she saw it.”
Applejack grunted. “Some pet?”
Twilight peered closely at the collar. She scratched its surface with a fingernail, then gasped and flinched away.
Maud’s cold green eyes belied her fast words. “Tell me that’s not–”
“Silver.” Twilight swallowed hard and pulled back the fur beneath. “Look, you can see where it burned.”
Maud leaned close, impassively allowing Twilight to show her the damage. A familiar chill descended as they worked, and this time Maud Mountain did not go unscarred. She stood from the exam with slim gray fists clenched, frowning so firmly it seemed a mirror of Limestone.
“Maud,” Sunset began, but got no further.
“Werewolves are a menace.” Wet cracks emerged in Maud’s voice. “They hunt us, we hunt them. We can only be enemies.”
She gently touched the fallen, shaggy head. “But not even one of them deserves this. Tortured, collared. Poor animal...”
A long moment passed before she moved. Maud righted herself and looked to Sunset, her neutrality back in place. The avalanche was over. “Let’s go. Your treatment needs to start tonight.”
“Yeah...” Sunset ran a hand through her hair, not caring for the mingled blood and grime. A short, terrified giggle squeaked out, and she waved down curious looks. “Sorry, sorry. Just thinking about how Mom’s going to kill me when she finds out.”
Twilight pushed up her glasses, obscuring her eyes with reflected moonlight. “Correction: ‘if’ she finds out.”
Adagio lingered, watching the werewolf as the others began their retreat. A sad, distant smile hovered on her face, and she passed her hand along its back.
She thought of their talk last month, and wondered if this would help Sunset understand. Werewolves weren’t evil. Nothing was. Not even its captors. Cruel, yes, but cats played with mice before spearing them, and humans did far worse. Everyone’s a predator, living on the pain of others. Sirens, humans, werewolves, sharks.
Probably not worth it to explain. Adagio retracted her hand, but startled as something followed it upwards. The muscles of the dead beast gave a twitch, and wisps of faint green smoke rose from head to tail.
...Very, very nostalgic green smoke. It departed as fast as it came, fading into the ether.
“Coming, Daj?” Applejack’s lovely twang sounded from the dorm’s entrance.
“Yeah,” Adagio called. She paused, opening and closing her mouth before turning to hustle after. “Yeah. I’m coming.”
Author's Note
Have another exposition blog post here.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Sunset’s evening didn’t get much worse on her return to the dorm, but calling in Redheart didn’t make it better. They watched from the window as her SUV careened into a handicapped spot, then as she paused halfway inside to barf on the bushes.
“It’s cool, it’s cool!” Redheart waved off Twilight’s meek attempt at doorway interception. Her well-ordered bun was absent today, sending waves of stringy pink hair down each shoulder. “I puked out all the alcohol, sober as a rock now. Show me Celestia’s little delinquent.”
Sunset winced, smiling nervously as steps and hiccups approached the bedroom door. She sat on the room’s only chair with top half stripped to her bra, revealing the ugly extent in the bright indoor lights. A raised purple welt as wide as her fist ran along her left ribs. Bandages covered the werewolf’s bite, but stained stickiness remained in the creases of her hand.
She shivered. Hungry, worried. Cold in here without her shirt.
Applejack moved before the shiver passed, pulling the quilt from her bed and draping it gently over Sunset’s good shoulder. “S’like Maud said, everything will work out fine. You hungry?”
Another shiver, but this time the blanket caught its heat. “Yeah.”
“I’ll fix you some soup, nice and hot.”
Sunset beamed, drawing the same from Applejack. Not so cold, anymore. “Thanks, AJ.”
Actually, it had gotten a little warm. Sunset scratched her cheek as Applejack departed, then gagged as an aura of stale beer heralded the newcomer.
“Didn’t I–” Redheart interrupted herself with a moist belch, then resumed. “Didn’t I say something about werewolves being all kinds of bad news?”
“You didn’t say not to hunt them,” Sunset replied.
“I make bad choices!” Redheart threw out her arms. “I literally told you this. Be real, you asked me because I wouldn’t say no.”
Sunset’s eyes moved to the side. “Yeah, maybe. I tried the Pies like you said, but only Maud was open. It was us or nobody.”
“Story of our–”
Another belch. “Story of our lives, kiddo. Us or nobody, and screw it, feels damn good to be the hero. Nothing quite like the high of being a ‘worthless mayfly’ – funny story, there – and teaching some undead bloodsucker a lesson in complacency. But anyway, speaking of shortened lives, is breathing giving you any pain?”
Sunset touched gingerly at her bruise and winced. “No, not really.”
“Good, it means we don’t have to go to a hospital. You probably broke some ribs but it ain’t like we can put a cast on them or anything, just ice and painkillers and take it easy for a few days. Gonna be important for that bite, too… got classes tomorrow?”
“I’m skipping,” Sunset said softly.
“Good,” Redheart said, hiccuping before and after. “Skip the next day, too. Be a teenager for once and stay home, eat Ramen, and play video games. Nurse’s orders.”
Sunset gave her a wan smile. “Thanks, Miss Redheart.”
“Jesus, kiddo, drop the ‘Miss.’ I spend most waking hours feeling old at thirty-two, I really don’t want that creeping into my bad-ass back-alley medic time.”
Sunset mentally debated asking her to drop the ‘kiddo’ in exchange, then gave it a pass. “Sure. What about the bite?”
Redheart cracked her back and gave a more restrained belch. “Let me take a look...”
She leaned close and gently peeled back the bandage. “Oof, you’re headed to stitch city. Gonna have to scalpel these open first, too. Hang tight, I’ll wash up and get my kit.”
Sunset cringed. “Are you sober enough for this? Advice is one thing, knives and needles are another.”
Redheart shrugged, already on her way out. “I twitch when I’m too sober. Have a drink yourself, it’ll make things easier.”
With hands washed and black medical bag over her shoulder, Redheart entered the bedroom and closed the door. Behind her, the others hovered worriedly – aside from Adagio, lounging on a chair with her phone, and Maud, who stood with the rest but could never be described as “hovering.”
Applejack crossed her arms and frowned. “I really don’t like not being in there.”
“It won’t be pretty,” Maud intoned. “Give Sunset her privacy.”
“Privacy with a boozed-up surgeon?”
Maud’s cold eyes met Applejack’s unflinchingly. “We Pies rely on Redheart a lot. She’s unconventional, but hunters have no ‘conventional.’ The important thing is that she’s effective.”
Wallflower pushed her forefingers against each other, looking downwards. “Is she going to be effective at stopping Sunset from becoming a werewolf?”
No answer came, of course. Wallflower’s habit of meekly accepting it fell by the wayside as she stomped her foot and repeated at a shout. “Is she going to be effective at stopping Sunset from becoming a werewolf!?”
Everyone startled at the sudden reminder of her existence – except Maud, who calmly turned her gaze. “Probably. We don’t know what causes lycanthropy. Virus, curse, etcetera. But we do know it can be cured at a very early stage. Redheart will give her silver nitrate pills, and a wolfsbane compound to drink in water.”
“Hang a tic, wolfsbane?” Applejack looked up sharply. “Ain’t that a poison?”
Maud nodded. “A very serious one. But it is mixed with laxatives to help the body purge it quickly, so Sunset should only have chills, dizziness, and copious vomiting for a few days.”
“Copious...” Applejack trailed off, then grinned painfully. “Per chance, back then at the house, was Limestone...”
“Yes,” Maud replied. “We were fortunate Redheart left us with a supply, and also fortunate Limestone didn’t clog our pipes this time.”
Applejack gave a long, low groan, and Maud finished. “There will also be copious diarrhea due to the laxative. And the silver will make it green.”
Twilight jumped as a yellow hand slapped lazily on her shoulder, with Adagio grinning behind. “Twilight-Two, buddy, pal, I know we’ve spoken like four times but what say we have a girls’ getaway at your place for a few days?”
“Don’t call her that,” Applejack grumbled. “And y’all could at least pretend to be concerned.”
“The people who know what they’re talking about aren’t worried,” Adaigo said, capping it with a yawn. “Myself included, so chill. Come hang with Twilight and me. We can braid hair, watch movies, compare breast sizes, give each other massages...”
Twilight reddened and laughed, but shook her head. “I’ll actually spend tomorrow here. I can afford to skip class more than you guys, and I’ll bring juice and soup. Someone should stay for all this to keep an eye on Sunset.”
“Us’uns can tag in and out the day after,” Applejack chimed, cheering with the idea of productive action. “Me and Wallflower don’t go in until noon on Fridays, and I know Daj only has a morning class.”
“Awesome, volunteer me.” Adagio tapped disinterestedly on her phone. “But sure, fine, whatever.”
Redheart was good as her word. She scalped, cleaned, and now worked to sew the wound, all with a steady hand. It didn’t even hurt that much, and with a pharmaceutic cure in view, Sunset’s worries had changed.
“Um...”
She shifted, guilt warring on her face before letting it out. “Mom told me to tell Harshwhinny if I had a business problem. Not you.”
“Figured.” Redheart’s words came out muffled beneath her medical mask. “It’s cool. Our little secret.”
Sunset sighed hard and looked away. “Harshwhinny told me not to get involved.”
“Whatever,” Redheart said. “Keep your head like that, I don’t want you breathing on this.”
“But is she right? I mean, you’re the expert.” Sunset paused at Redheart’s chuckle, then resumed. “I used myself as bait. And an innocent! No expert snipers, no reinforcements, no back-up plan besides gunning it down...”
Ice-blue eyes looked up briefly from their work, finding Sunset’s. “Yeah, yeah. Military snipers could kill it from a kilometer out, with SWAT teams in the wings… easy to fall into that thinking. But Sunset, if the government was involved, or hunting was a paying industry or something, Sour could have dialed a hotline and found help there. But there’s none of that. A SWAT team in your position would be wolf food right now, so what does that say about you? You made a plan, it didn’t go pretty, it could have gone better, and you won. Nobody died but the bad guys, and let me tell you a secret: your mom, Harshwhinny, the Pies, they would have planned things out better, sure. Maybe they would have gotten through without a scratch. But dollars to doughnuts say shit would have still come down to pulling triggers and hoping for the best. We just don’t have the equipment for anything better, and we sure as heck don’t have the training.”
A loud hiccup interrupted, though Redheart held the needle still until it passed. “Cranky’s a vet, I guess, but look at the rest of us. Nurse, principals, teachers. Iron Will’s a failed entrepreneur, and Harshwhinny… heh, I’ll tell you later. So for that kind of people to say ‘no, Sunset, you’re too young and inexperienced,’ fuck it. Call if you need help. Be careful, be smart, and always, always, always call when you discover something important in case you get jumped on the way home.”
Sunset chuckled, warming to the words. “Thanks, Redheart. I do want to keep at it, I really do. We already took down a gargoyle, ghouls, couple ghasts… the biggest problem until now has been finding time when everyone’s available. How does my mom get you all to put your social lives on hold long enough to hunt monsters?”
“Hm?” Redheart eyed her stitching, then stood. “Oh, easy. We’re losers with no social lives.”
She pulled off the mask and grinned. “Welcome to the club. I’ll stop by tomorrow, so keep at it with the pills and powder. You have a rough few days ahead of you.”
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
The Care and Feeding of Teenage Hunters
Equestria was fun. Not in the polite use of the word Principal Celestia used to describe Luna’s video games, or that punk rock concert Sunset took her to. No, Equestria was fun.
Certainly, their royal accommodations contributed to the enjoyment. As did the physical prowess of their alicorn bodies, making even the most disastrous flight a thing to be brushed off. The principals had much to be grateful for, and Celestia was grateful.
So was Luna, of course. She didn’t say it out loud, but her joy flowed more easily every day. While Celestia shopped and took in Equestria’s culture, Luna spent hours each morning aloft on her alien wings, though she landed each afternoon to touch base. Often they gathered for lunch, then took off somewhere for a minor adventure.
Today, a full-service trip to a beachfront massage spa. Alicorns had a great many more muscles than humans, resulting in a three-hour sojourn.
The results spoke for themselves. The displaced humans barely managed to stagger out to the beach – tropical heat, and perfect sand in all directions – and collapse onto alicorn-sized chairs in a puddle of smiles. Helpful ponies brought non-alcoholic drinks and their bags, leaving the duo to recover, giggling with residual bliss.
“We’re… what, two-hundred kilos?” Luna murmured upwards. “I have never been so fat, and never felt so glorious. Gaze upon my moonbutt and know my beauty.”
Celestia let her head bob in sleepy approximation of a nod. “Those wing rubs...”
They shivered at the memory. Pony feathers had sensation, and the goddesses at the spa tended to every plume.
And now? Seven in the evening, still balmy as a Florida sunset, and fifteen days until duty called them home. The first vacation of Principal Celestia’s adult life was going swimmingly.
Actually, “After we’ve pulled ourselves back together, want to find out how terribly these bodies swim?”
“It will not be terrible. We shall flail with utmost magnificence.” Luna sipped noisily at her drink then flopped like a beached whale, presenting her underside to the sky. “Hunky pony peasants shall keep watch, and kiss us to life if we sink.”
Celestia flinched from her sister. “Luna! Roll back.”
“Why?”
Celestia flushed and raised her book between them. “Because your gross pony tits are showing.”
“My pony tits are majestic, thank you very much.” Luna thrust them upwards, but then obliged, rolling over to a comfortable pony-loaf position. “Huh. Remember how we wondered why ponies wore swimsuits at the beach even though they’re always naked? I think there’s our answer.”
“Very astute. I’ll jot that down.” Celestia hoofed a notebook from her bag and lipped it open to a blank page. With a resigned sigh, she took a pen in her mouth and began to write.
...Not perfect, this Equestria. She had become acquainted with the taste of doorknobs and pens, and found a new dislike for soup. Perhaps tonight she’d ask that nice unicorn for a second magic lesson, ideally with fewer explosions.
Still, Equestria was an experience worth recording. Even if today’s record now went:
“At Appls foR bkfST (Rely Good) Shop beech sTORe got souveneR fr dtr MeT Kirin (CUTE TALK FIRE thinG) Gave belly Rub SPA (SWImsuits Bcus Ponytits?)”
She spat the pen back into her bag. “I shall never criticize Sunset’s handwriting again.”
“And that’s why I leave the journalism to you.” Luna took another noisy drink. “Hey, what book was that?”
Celestia sipped more daintily, grateful the ponies thought to put in a straw. “I picked it up at the port, ‘Daring Do and the Eternal Flower.’ I’d call it an Indiana Jones knockoff, but well, you know how it works here. Given how fantastic this land is, I’m surprised they still have fiction.”
Luna perked up at that. “Cool. If you see a vampire story or like a Pony-Twilight, snag it for me. There’s got to be a… a Braym Stoker out there somewhere.”
“I’ll keep watch,” Celestia said. “Back to Sunset: how do you think she’s doing?”
Luna laughed. “Are you kidding? College high-life, twenty four-seven. How much you want to bet she borrows the house for a party?”
“To be honest, I hope she does.” Celestia gave a small, honest smile. “She’s far too responsible to trash the place, or let good times get in the way of her studies. She should have fun.”
“Don’t you worry, O sister-mine.” Luna tried to lift her glass with magic, sending a crack down its middle. Better than her last try. “She’s having the time of her life.”
Sunset fumbled for the handle and flushed. Her head dipped close enough to the toilet rim that draft from its suction ran along her face. No matter. The third long, intense upheaval in as many hours, each lasting a good chunk of that hour, wasn’t done yet.
The first time had been so terrible she called Redheart, and immediately regretted it. “No problem, that’s how you know the wolfsbane’s working. The wicked shits come later.”
Her whole body ached, except for the stomach where “ache” didn’t quite cover the feeling of claws and razors inside. An ominous belch emerged and she let more vomit fly before thinking to hold up her hair.
Awful. And the most awful thing was having another twoish days of this to come. All to maybe not become a werewolf… painting the porcelain as she was, Sunset doubted it was worthwhile. And now she had puke on her hair, and…
No, no she didn’t. Latex-clad hands had pulled back her bangs, saving them from the wolfsbane’s fury.
“Don’t try to fight it,” Twilight coached from her position behind Sunset.
“Can’t you taze me or something?” Sunset moaned. “Knockout gas? Something to let me sleep through this?”
Twilight held firm. “No. We need you to stay hydrated. After this we are sitting you at the table with a juice box, and I’m heating up some of the soup my mom made for you. And then you are going to drink it.”
“So I can barf it out later.”
“Which is why we need to maintain your intake. We talked about this.”
“Easy for you to fucking say,” Sunset growled more harshly than intended. One last burst removed the last of her stomach’s contents and she rose unsteadily, accepting Twilight’s wordless offer of mouthwash. She turned to lean on her shorter friend, and saw dampness on the girl’s cheeks.
The claws in her stomach were back at work, but they vanished from her voice. “Whoa, you okay?”
“I’m sorry,” Twilight said dejectedly. Sunset wobbled, but a gloved hand caught her and they headed to the table. “I didn’t mean to lecture. I’m the last person who should. I was worthless against the werewolf, I was out of touch before then... you know how I am. When I go home today I’ll try to invent something to help with this.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Sunset croaked. “I, uh, don’t want to be a guinea pig right now.”
Twilight cringed. “Sorry.”
Sunset shook her head as she sat heavily on the bench. “I’m not going to lie, this sucks. But I’m thankful you’re here putting up with me. I really am, so don’t apologize.”
Twilight poked a straw into the juice box and settled it in Sunset’s hand. “I texted the girls, they all send their best. Be ready for a party when you get better, because Pinkie mentioned something about scoring tickets to an indoor water park.”
“Cool.” Sunset accepted the offering and took a drink. “Don’t invite them over, I don’t want anyone to see me likeURP!”
Bed, bathroom, drink. Bed, bathroom, drink…
...Weird, Sunset didn’t feel so bad now. Definitely didn’t want to go back in her increasingly-odorous bed. She puttered in her bathrobe and sweater pajamas, brushing her teeth and then washing out her dishes. Still shaky and wan, but vastly improved from before.
Humming, curious if the worst was really over, Sunset meandered to the common room and sipped gingerly at a mug of hot chocolate. It stayed down fine, so she sipped again. Strange how it had appeared on the table with no one else home…
Oh, right. “Thanks, Wallflower.”
As if summoned, the short green girl materialized next to her with a sunlight grin. “Look who’s up and about!”
Sunset chuckled weakly. “Yeah. Nurse’s orders, I think I’ll turn on the Gamestation. Something easy.”
“So not Smash, um...” Wallflower tapped her chin, then raised a finger. “Simple, cooperative, let’s play Dora The Destroyer!”
She caught herself and shrank behind her bangs. “I-If you want to play with me, that is.”
“Of course I do, you’re a friend.” Sunset stretched an arm, but retracted it without contact. “This seems like a hug thing but I’m super grody right now. But you are my friend, and I want you to know that. I like spending time with you.”
Especially now that Wallflower showered regularly. No need to say it out loud.
Sunset went on as they readied the controllers. “I know your, uh, side-effect makes it rough, but definitely, one-hundred percent, we don’t want to ignore you. No choice but for you to speak up, and maybe the memory effect will fade with time.”
“I hope it doesn’t.”
That got Sunset’s full attention. Wallflower caught her eyes and blushed, half-smiling before looking away. “I have eleven brothers and sisters. I’m not the oldest or youngest. I’m not the smartest, strongest, prettiest, or anything. I’m not even the quietest – everyone knew Frazzle was the quietest so they all made sure she was heard. I got so used to no one paying me attention that after a while it really scared me when they did. That’s why I used the memory stone… reset, reset every time I thought I got it wrong, which was every time. I think part of your mind remembered me, because after a while I stopped being a stranger, or someone new. I was just there, in the background, and no one had any memories to make them care. A wallflower.”
Sunset watched her, but the smile grew. “Back with the ghouls… I walked out right behind their leader. Right past the guard. No one notices a wallflower. No one else knows there’s something I’m the best at. Something I can do to help my friends, and that’s awesome. It’s pretty specialized, but I’m doing other things, too. I’m studying first aid, and there’s this big used van I’m saving up for. The more I do, the more useful I can be.”
A red eyebrow rose, and Sunset grinned beneath. “Rain check on that hug, because we’ll need one later. But Wallflower, you don’t have to be useful to be my friend.”
“I know.” Wallflower turned on the television. “But I want to be. Now would you like to play as Dora, or Panzer Monkey? Panzer Monkey’s my boi, but you’re sick so I’ll let you choose.”
The worst wasn’t over. Sweet Celestia, it wasn’t. Now Sunset was freezing on top of everything, not that it stopped her stomach’s unnatural progress in both vertical directions. She laid curled in her bed, shivering, panting, and sweating. A bucket sat next to her that she never managed to get up and empty, yet always proved clean for her next round of vomiting. It was only on her fourth deposit that her poison-addled mind realized someone was emptying it for her.
That someone leaned into view, their face blurred in her vision. “Hey, Sunny. I won’t ask if you’re okay, but tell me what’s worst right now and we’ll fix it.”
Sunset focused her vision, picking out Applejack’s green eyes and freckles. “Too bright. Turn off the lights.”
“Lights are off, Sunny.”
“Then close the blinds.”
White entered Sunset’s glazed vision as Applejack gave a gentle grin. “It’s three in the morning.”
That got a hard blink as reality jolted Sunset to full wakefulness. The view of Applejack crystallized, kneeling down to put her head on level with Sunset’s. Light pollution from the outside illuminated her enough to see the look of concern, and bags beneath the eyes.
How long had Sunset been in bed? No idea, but a great deal of moans, noisy tosses and turns, and regurgitations had marked the time. “Aw, shit. Have I been keeping you up?”
“Don’t you worry about me,” Applejack said, which Sunset had the presence of mind to understand wasn’t a ‘no.’ “Tell me what you’re feeling now. Hungry, nauseous, cold...”
‘Guilty’ came to mind until that last part. “Cold. Tirek’s teeth, I’m freezing.”
Applejack laid a hand on Sunset’s covers, then immodestly felt beneath them and ran her hand along the pajamas. “No wonder, everything’s soaked through. Let’s get these changed.”
“My extra sheets are still at Mom’s house,” Sunset groaned.
“Then we’ll wash these.”
“The laundry room closes at nine.”
Somehow, even the shadowed room felt too bright for Sunset’s eyes. She closed them and rolled over, irate and done with the conversation. Folding herself into a cannonball helped with the damp chill, though her shivering remained.
“Sunny, we have to do something about this.”
“Let me sleep,” Sunset groaned. “Forget I said anything.”
“No can do.”
She felt Applejack peel off the covers, and curled up tighter. “Leave me alone.”
“You’ll thank me later,” Applejack said. Two strong arms slid beneath Sunset and hoisted her to a sitting position.
Sunset grumbled, but proved too lethargic for an active defense. Applejack fetched her fresh pajamas, but accepted a deathly glare’s statement that no help was needed with the actual change. She turned around as Sunset got to work, then turned back with the next words.
“These will just get wet in those sheets anyway.”
“Yep.” Applejack nodded, then offered her arm. “Here, stand with me.”
Not sure where this was going, Sunset obeyed, but stopped rigid as they crossed the few steps to Applejack’s bed. “No. I can’t make you do this.”
“You’re right, you can’t.” Applejack pushed Sunset gently to a lying position on the bed, then pulled an apple-themed quilt over her.
The effect was immediate. Thick, fluffy sheets cradled Sunset, and when the blanket followed she could feel dry warmth engulfing every limb. The constant shiver was ended; without it, she felt drowsy and content.
She opened her mouth to thank Applejack, but a yawn interrupted.
“You’re welcome.”
“You’re always so good to me,” Sunset managed, rapidly falling into sleep.
Applejack settled herself on the chair. “I got your back, Sunny. Always have, always will.”
Two… three days since the fun began? Hard to tell. Sunset awoke feeling markedly improved, but past experience guarded her optimism. Deciding to take the good time for all it was worth, she rolled over and laid comfortably for another hour in the warm, apple-scented sheets.
No unnatural bodily functions interrupted. Actually, she was hungry. She slowly got out, still weak, and wandered to the common room.
Nobody home. Nothing but a note on the table, which Sunset picked up and surveyed.
“I totally have a thing going on today. Give a text when you’re well enough to shower because damn, girl, this place is getting stanky.
XOX
Adagio”
“Wow, cool.” Sunset tossed it without another look into the trash, then paused as a knock came from the front door.
“I’m sick,” she called.
“I know,” came a voice from the other end. Familiar, yet Sunset didn’t place it until she opened the door and found a freckled yellow face.
“Sour Sweet, uh, hi.” Sunset ran a hand uselessly through her frazzled hair. “Sorry I’m like this.”
The former preppie took a few seconds to find Sunset’s eyes. “Well… I’m sorry for everything leading up to you being like this.”
“Not your fault,” Sunset said.
“Sure, but the way I acted is.” Sour shrugged around the paper bag in her arms. “I’m a mean girl, and I was in the middle of a high-key freakout. Not a good combination.”
She fidgeted in place, bringing her eyes to the floor. “So, yeah. Thanks for saving me in spite of myself. Thanks for believing me when my friends wouldn’t, thanks for basically sacrificing yourself for me. I know your cafeteria doesn’t get bakery cookies, so I stole all of ours and have them here. I can’t think of anything else I can do for you.”
Cookies were the last thing Sunset wanted right now, but she smiled all the same. “Thanks, we’ll enjoy these. And don’t worry about the rest, just a day in the life, you know? Crazy for you, Wednesday for us.”
“Somehow I feel this one wasn’t just Wednesday,” Sour said in a tone that wobbled between friendliness and snark. “But anyway, how are you feeling? Your yellow friend asked me to check in.”
Sunset accepted the cookies and retreated, beckoning Sour to follow. “Better than I’ve been since starting the medication. Gonna take a shower, then eat something besides soup for once.”
Sour sniffed at their bedroom and recoiled, but put on a determined look. “Cool. I’ll get your sheets in the laundry.”
Mercifully, the shower marked the end of that particular part of the adventure. No more symptoms, smelly or otherwise. Redheart said Sunset had a short and easy time of the treatment, an observation Sunset didn’t care to think about.
All that remained was not becoming a werewolf.
Three days later, night of the full moon, they made an evening of it at Applejack’s request. Adagio grumbled and Twilight was late, but they arrived at the Pies’ house ready for a sleepover.
Maud showed them the accommodations: Sunset would sleep in a horrible concrete basement, within a thick cage bolted to the ground. Not for the last time, if the wolfsbane didn’t work. Applejack protested the lack of comfort, and won from Maud an inflatable mattress and sleeping bag for the cage.
They changed to their pajamas in Pinkie’s room – the girl herself absent on a sleepover with Fluttershy. Sunset wondered if Maud arranged it that way.
A low whistle from Adagio caught her ear. “Hubba, hubba, get a load of this.”
Figuring that a little sexy teasing from their resident siren was inevitable, Sunset turned slowly with a wry smile. Applejack was the target, as ever, but she always seemed to enjoy it.
The smile caught on her face. Yes, it was Adagio and Applejack, the latter stripped to her underwear. No skin Sunset hadn’t seen before, although Applejack had always been the shyest of the Rainbooms with exposing herself. Sunset once presumed it came from a conservative upbringing, and it took longer than she liked to realize it was body-shame. Applejack spent her high school days taller than most boys, but thin, gangly, and awkward. She also had a roughness to her edges the others lacked – combined result of more hard work and fewer beauty products.
That was the Applejack of high school. She was still tall, but not beanpole-built anymore, oh no. Late puberty had painted over bony limbs with muscles, strengthened and reinforced by hard work and hearty eating. Sunset’s eyes drifted over the awesome girl-abs, feeling a grin come on and unexpected heat rise in her stomach.
Adagio’s fingers ran down a toned arm, tickling giggles out of Applejack. “Sunset, I thought we were friends! You’ve been rooming with all this, and never told me.”
“She always changes in the bathroom,” Sunset said, fighting down her smile. But it kept creeping up, leaving her face in a leer. “Damn, AJ. Looking good. Looking...”
Sunset coughed, catching something less appropriate and swapping in another, “good.”
She tore her eyes from the muscles to probe Applejack’s face, searching for fear or humiliation. Applejack blushed freely, yes, but wore a laughing, liberated grin. “Not bad, eh girls? Twenty hours of farm work a week and you can have a body li-EEK!”
She squeaked and recoiled as Wallflower poked her abs.
“How does it feel?” Sunset purred mischievously, closing in opposite of Adagio.
“Rock-hard,” Wallflower said, looking up with shining admiration. “I thought I was the one with super-powers.”
Caught up in the flow and red to her ears, Sunset brushed her fingers to Applejack’s belly, then arm. Hard, strong.
Always helping, always there for her…
Applejack interrupted the uncomfortable thoughts. “Y’all ain’t seen nothing. Here!”
She flexed both arms, raising miniature apples inside. Sunset and Adagio obligingly touched them and cooed, slowly sending all three into gales of laughter. Adagio snuck a kiss on one bicep and tried for the face, though Applejack gently warded her back.
For her part, Sunset retreated, and discreetly looked away as Applejack finished changing. For the best – Sunset needed a moment herself. She’d gotten a little too silly, laughed a little too hard. Opened up a bit too many questions.
Adagio leaned over to catch Sunset’s gaze, with one raised eyebrow and one knowing smirk. She smacked her lips in a faux kiss and then moved to continue dressing.
They ate popcorn. Watched a movie Sunset couldn’t even remember. Shot down Adagio’s idea to spin the bottle. Pried Twilight from her laptop long enough for a few Smash matchups, mostly to give Wallflower a challenge. Sunset had only played one round when Maud came to collect.
Applejack went with them to the basement, bringing her pillow and blanket. She was good like that… she was always like that.
No heat down here. Sunset shuddered as she entered the cage. “What will be the first sign if I turn into a werewolf?”
“You’ll turn into a werewolf,” Maud said, and locked her in.
They settled down. Maud on a wooden chair facing Sunset, her war-pick close to hand. Sunset tried to relax, but the whirlwind through her mind soon set her to frantic pacing. Applejack talked her down, sharing stories and gossip, but that left Sunset even more agitated when she went to bed. Of course Applejack helped. She always helped. She was great, sexy, and, “Tirek’s teeth, I could be a werewolf in the next hour!”
Her brain stormed from one topic to the next. Applejack. Maud’s silver pick. The chain on the werewolf they killed. What Mom would say. Sexy muscles. The damn, irregular water drip echoing through the basement. Maud’s endless stare, locked and unblinking every time Sunset dared to look.
Her nose itched – was that a sign? No, of course not. Maybe.
“You’re having trouble sleeping,” Maud finally said.
Sunset checked her phone. “Midnight. Doesn’t this mean I’m not a werewolf?”
Maud shook her head. “It can happen any time until dawn.”
“Damn it!” Sunset snapped, then noted Applejack’s snores and went on quietly. “I’m dying here, Maud. I keep thinking about… you know, being a werewolf and everything.”
“I understand.” Maud nodded solemnly, reaching into her backpack. “If you like, I can do what I do for Limestone when she has trouble sleeping.”
“Please,” Sunset said, not knowing or caring what she was signing on for. She watched curiously as Maud produced a notebook and flipped it open.
“My family says my poetry has a very soothing quality to it.” Maud cleared her throat and selected a page. “This one is called ‘Rocks.’”
“Rocks. Rocks are my friends. They come in all colors. Like people. Rock salt is useful for banishing demons.”
“This is stupid,” Sunset grumbled, too low for Maud to hear. She gazed upwards, brain still flying. Werewolves, Applejack, Mom…
“Salt is also useful for preserving food. And for adding flavor. Although my dad shouldn’t eat table salt anymore. Salt was very important for much of human history.”
Sunset bounced her knee. Was she really gay for Applejack? Maybe she just got caught up in the moment, and the emotion. Would Sunset still be attracted tomorrow? If no, status quo, if yes… better call Rarity, she was good with that stuff. And what about Adagio? That smirk wasn’t for nothing, would she use this against them?
“But back to rocks. Most are gray. Like me. And my sister Limestone. And my sister Marble. And my mother.”
Sunset’s head fell to the pillow, her mouth opened to an uproarious snore.
Maud never left anything half-done. She continued reading aloud until all forty-eight stanzas were complete, then folded the notebook and resumed her vigil. Staring, silent, patient. Never moving until dawn’s light crept through the grated window and fell on Sunset’s sleeping form, to which Maud smiled gently.
Author's Note
Hey, I've met dudes who made me question my heterosexuality.
Alternate title: "The Return of Teen Drama."
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
“Hey Adagio. I know it’s been a while, but me and Sonata are in Canterlot this weekend. What say we grab coffee somewhere and catch up on old times?”
The room Adagio and Wallflower shared always stood a fair bit messier than their goody-goody neighbors’. Both had a fantastic tolerance for dirty laundry and dust-bunnies, and their two months together had brought them to an unspoken game of chicken for who would clean the place first.
Adagio was losing. Whereas Wallflower seemed totally indifferent to the overflowing trash and stacked pizza boxes, Adagio’s reluctance stemmed from a thousand years of being the comparative neat-freak of the sirens and a hard determination not to clean up after anyone again. She had spent enough time with her sisters’ Ramen bowls and candy wrappers, she wasn’t about to toss Wallflower’s leftover Chow Mein. Even if the girl had crammed it in her garbage can’s mountain three days ago…
Nothing perfume couldn’t fix. Adagio lounged alone on her bed between gossip magazines and a pile of clean underwear, staring at the text message.
Full pink lips curled into an angry sneer, and her voice took a high falsetto with the first words. “‘Catch up on old times!’ Screw you, Aria.”
“So why are you going?”
Wallflower’s stealth wasn’t even startling these days. “Nobody asked you, Invisible Girl. And who says I’m going?”
A glance up showed Wallflower sitting cross-legged on her bed, peering at Adagio over her laptop screen. “You spent the last two hours doing your hair and makeup, picking through clothes until you found the trendiest, and complaining about the other sirens. Where are you guys meeting?”
“Some Hipster Coffee Place.” Adagio raised her legs and swung them down, using the momentum to launch herself to a stand. “That’s the actual name. I guess it’s supposed to be ironic.”
“I have coupons you can use,” Wallflower said.
Adagio blew a stay hair from her face. “Oh, that would be rich. They’re millionaire pop stars, I’m a scrub student, and let’s drive that fact home by bringing coupons.”
“It’s just an offer,” Wallflower mumbled sulkily. “You really don’t seem like you want to go. Stay home, let’s play Smash Pillars.”
“Stay home, let’s play Smash Pillars,” Adagio repeated in poor imitation of Wallflower’s squeaky voice. “Forget your family, be a loser and sit around playing video games all day like me!”
She grinned cruelly at Wallflower’s flinch, wondering if this would bait their first argument. Adagio could use the release, and a wimp like Wallflower was easy prey.
But Wallflower didn’t rise to it, nor did she fall. Her expression recovered to a flat, even gaze before returning to the screen.
“You’re scared.”
“Whatever.” The temptation to saunter close enough to smack Wallflower with her curls was there, but Adagio didn’t dare risk them falling out of place.
She eyed a hand mirror on her way out the door, then down the elevator. Mascara, makeup, lipstick, all applied perfectly. Exiting the dorm proved the day unseasonably warm for November, and not at all windy. Good. She checked again on the sidewalk and bus – eye-shadow, teeth, and curls. Still perfect. She gave her whole outfit a once-over in front of Some Hipster Coffee Place, pulling out a few crumbs and stray hairs.
Eleven in the morning, on a Monday. As dead a time for a coffee shop as any, and that suited Adagio. No one inside but some teen behind the counter who honestly looked like he was on drugs.
...And a certain blue and purple duo. They sat by a round table in the center of the room and looked up as Adagio entered.
Synchronized, the pair grinned cruel, leering smiles. But that had always been their standard, and Adagio gave the same without a blink.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Aria purred. She was always the least skilled of them at purring, but had definitely practiced since they parted ways.
Adagio took in the other’s garb, arching a perfectly-infuriating eyebrow. “Said the girl in ripped jeans and a sweater.”
“No makeup, either. Give us a break, it’s our time off.” Sonata stood and sashayed to the cashier, though threw an icy smile on her way. “Besides, we’re pop stars. Who do we need to impress?”
Two jabs in one sentence. Sonata had improved, too.
She went on, turning a sultry grin to the teen behind the counter. “What do you want? I’ll buy.”
“Not necessary,” Adagio said.
“My treat, I brought coupons.” Sonata waved her to a chair, eyes still on the cashier. “Give us a pumpkin spice for my beautiful leader.”
Adagio stood beside the table, but didn’t sit. “If you guys are just here to rub dirt on my face, I’m leaving.”
“Give her extra sugar, because this girl’s salty,” Aria said as the worker turned away. “Adagio, relax. Maybe you have nostalgia goggles or something but this is how we always talk. No need to get jealous.”
“I can’t really say I’m jealous.” Adagio smiled thinly, accepting the seat. “You’re supposed to be sirens, and you spend your time singing trashy pop music to teenage swine. No culture, no complex emotion, no creativity. I hope you’ve made millions, because you’ll need something to live on on next year when nobody cares.”
Aria pointed, her left lip curling upwards. “See? This is how we talk.”
“Not gonna lie, though. We are millionaires. It rules.” Sonata dropped off the drink with a flourish.
Adagio’s eyes snapped between the coffee and Sonata’s gleaming teeth. She didn’t see any cash or cards exchanged at the counter. Her gaze trailed to the dopey smile on the cashier…
Memories of green mist and hypnotic songs rose, and were punted aside. Sonata just flirted for the coffee, that was all. The little skank.
“Now it makes sense,” Adagio murmured, relishing the hints of confusion on her peers. “I wondered something: you two were backup dancers six months ago, and now suddenly you’re big-name stars? Give me the scoop, which industry executive are you going down on?”
Her smile fell as the pair responded with Cheshire grins. They traded a knowing glance before Sonata explained. “None of them. Come on, Adagio, we’ve always had a way with words. Gold, jewels, whatever we want.”
Adagio sipped at her drink. Pumpkin spice, extra sugar. “Yeah, and then our amulets got destroyed.”
Aria and Sonata shared another glance. Another smile.
A few other students had entered, filling the background with murmured conversation. Sonata began to hum, while Aria spoke. “But how are you doing? Tell us about these new friends you’ve made.”
“Cool, you’ve been stalking me,” Adagio said quickly, anxious to regain the initiative.
Another miss. Aria laughed. “No. Weird story, we walked by one of your professors talking on his phone, and he mentioned your name. We struck up a chat, gave him a little leg, and the old coot fell over himself telling us everything.”
Adagio gave her eyes an expert roll. “I’m pretty sure no professor has any idea what I get up to when–”
“Applejack.”
The word came right into her ear, close enough to feel Sonata’s breath.
“No shame, no shame,” Aria said as Sonata dodged a slap. “You want a new toy. We’ve all had plenty. And there’s a certain thrill in pursuing… you know, righteous folk, heroes, and all that.”
Adagio let loose her own careful smirk. “Painfully, we’re dorm-mates now. That’s all. You know how it is, two people can’t share a bench these days without someone thinking they’re lovers.”
Sonata resumed her hum. Adagio chuckled, even more carefully. “Although I do admit, I am curious which of my stupid teachers has these weird ideas.”
“D–” Aria gave a grinning cough, then went on. “Didn’t catch his name. We were a little distracted, you know? Our dog had just run away from home.”
Adagio shuffled in place, then fought down a shiver as it brushed her damp undershirt to her back. She’d been sweating. Too many coincidences, and one big question which had wormed to her mind ever since that eerie, familiar mist rose from the dead werewolf.
Her heart beat fast. Sweaty hands smudged her porcelain cup. Fear, tension…
And, murky and uncertain in her sisters’ leers… the tiniest glimpse of opportunity.
To business, then. “What’s going on?” Adagio asked. “For real.”
They didn’t bite – at least, not obviously. Aria gave a lackadaisical shrug. “Hm, we miss you. Kind of. You were always the scary-smart one, knowing who to trust and who to stab. We definitely miss that. But more to the point, we’ve grown up enough to realize how nasty it was to skip out and stick you with the rent.”
She fished in her purse, and produced a bound stack of bills. “So, here’s our end. Plus interest. Better late than never.”
Adagio took the money, maintaining stoic eye contact until she brought it close enough for a quick check. One hundred dollars, two hundred, three…
Tumultuous though her finances might be, Adagio was proud. A little guilt-money didn’t even begin to make up for the event that launched her long spiral into debt. Five minutes earlier and she would have thrown it back in Aria’s face, probably followed by the coffee.
Five minutes earlier, Adagio had no hope of ever reclaiming her powers. Now...
She flipped the stack, permitting herself only a surprised blink as silver caught the light. Several rectangular, sparkling tickets laid bound to the bottom.
“We’ll be performing at Canterlot Theater and Bar in February,” Aria said. The new customers had started arguing in the background. “Only a few hundred seats. Would love to have you, and you’ll be the coolest kid in town to whoever you share those with. And that’s just a prelude for our big, big concert at that venue near Canterlot Mountain. I’d give tickets for that too, but your college sponsored it so all the students come free.”
“What’s the catch?” Adagio murmured.
“Listen to this girl!” Aria jerked a thumb, then checked her watch and frowned. “Nuts, we gotta scram. Sonata, let’s go. Adagio, we’ll catch up in a few months. Good talk.”
Adagio narrowed her eyes, but gave a nod. “See you later.”
Sonata hummed and waved, following Aria out the door. “Plane leaves in two hours for Tokyo! I’ll text you pics!”
“Don’t bother,” Adagio grumbled as they made their escape. She sighed and transplanted to a discreet corner, unwilling to let the expensive drink go to waste. Her ears prickled as the customers continued their fight, and the cashier began blinking and staring dumbly around.
Hunching to hide it from view, she counted the money again. Even more than she initially thought. Enough to almost pay down her credit card, or else go on one heck of a shopping bender.
“Dora, your explorations have brought you to the Sunshine Land, where the evil king has stolen the Summer Crystals and hidden them in four storybook realms. Take your shotgun and don’t stop killing until you have his head on a pike!”
Applejack sipped at a half-full beer bottle, watching Sunset and Twilight’s characters run across the screen. “I don’t know about this one. Not everything needs a gritty reboot.”
“Oooooh!” Wallflower waggled her finger. “The Dora the Destroyer fandom considers you the enemy!”
“Reckon I’m okay with that.”
“I’m *oof* home!” Adagio called, stumbling through the doorway. Boxes loaded down her arms, and hangers of wrapped clothes were hooked to her collar’s back.
“Whoa.” Applejack stood, catching the siren as she tilted too far to the right. “Need a hand? What happened?”
“I went on a shopping bender.” Adagio allowed Applejack to relieve her of some, then most of the weight. “Just put it on my bed, thanks. No peeking.”
Twilight glanced guiltily to Sunset, lowering her voice as the pair entered Adagio’s room. “Should she really be spending money like that?”
Sunset made a noise somewhere between a groan and sigh. “You know she’ll get huffy and sarcastic if we ask. I want to, but I still don’t know how to handle her. I feel like I drive her away when I bring up things she’s sensitive about, but when I let it slide I feel like a bad friend.
“No advice here,” Twilight said. “What do you think, Wallf...”
She trailed off as they glanced behind, for Wallflower had vanished from her seat.
Applejack rejoined the others in the living room. Adagio closed the door and got to work, alone until a voice squeaked from behind.
“How’d it go?”
Adagio studied the mattress a half-second before responding. “Awful. Thanks for asking.”
She closed the one box she had opened, leaving the goods still hidden from sight. “Go tell the others that sirens have very good hearing.”
“They’re worried about you.”
That deflated what little bite Adagio had left. She turned to see Wallflower scratching her elbow and looking away.
“Sorry it didn’t go well,” Wallflower said meekly.
“And I’m...” Adagio heaved a deep sigh, casting her eyes skywards before bringing them back down. “I’m sorry I was a bitch this morning. And always. I’m always a bitch, and double that when I see Aria and Sonata in a magazine or...”
She grabbed for a prop, realizing in a rush that her bed was clean save for the new packages. “Where are my magazines?”
Wallflower pointed. “In the nightstand. And I put your underwear in the lower drawer.”
Adagio looked – sure enough, it was as Wallflower said. The debris on the nightstand was gone, too, and the clothes in her dresser were folded. No more dust-bunnies under the bed or gum stuck to her trashcan… everything on her side had been cleaned and organized.
Her mystified gaze fell to Wallflower, who blushed and shuffled in place. “I figured it wouldn’t end well, so… yeah.”
Adagio took a deep, willful sniff. Citrus-scented cleaning products had definitely been used, though behind it came the smell of three-day old Chow Mein. She eyed the mountain still protruding from Wallflower’s garbage can and smiled faintly.
The scene blurred. Adagio ran a hand along her eyes.
Wallflower shrugged, giggled, and went in for a hug. Her musty odor mingled with the citrus and trash, and dust from her sweater scratched Adagio’s arms. The siren hugged back, pulling Wallflower into her shoulder.
...And stared outwards with a vague, twisting frown.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Sunset stepped from the bathroom, showered and dressed for work. Still over an hour before she had to leave, but time with Celestia had imprinted on her a fastidious habit of having everything together well ahead of time. One of the many little things for which she was grateful.
Today, it might not have been a good idea. The sight set her dorm-mates to blinking, and added a blush to Applejack’s cheeks.
“Shooters.” Adagio read the word stretched tightly at the nipple-line of Sunset’s shirt, then let her eyes drift to the exposed navel. “When you said you got a job as a waitress, I pictured something classier.”
The eyes kept sinking, now to the short skirt and heels. “It suits you.”
“It suits me tightly,” Sunset said, trying and failing to fidget the wedgie from her regulation skirt.
Applejack swallowed down her blush, green eyes radiating only concern. “Are you hard up? I can give you money instead. I know what they say about that place.”
“‘They’ have definitely never gone to a Shooters.” Sunset pulled the skirt hard to one side and let it snap back, smiling as that solved the wedgie. “It’s a restaurant that caters to the lowest common denominator of greasy food and greasy men, all drinking and watching football on greasy screens. But that’s all. They actually have a way stricter harassment policy than most restaurants.”
“Speaking from experience?” Adagio asked with a leer.
Sunset smiled evenly as thunder boomed outside. “Yeah, I worked there a bit some years ago. I was hoping to get my old job with Miss Chrysalis back, but she put me on hold hell and I can take a hint.”
“The cigarette maker?” Wallflower made a face. “What did you do for her?”
Burn incriminating tax documents.
“Janitorial work,” Sunset said.
“But are you okay?” Applejack asked, pressing her original point. “You said earlier you had enough squirreled away to get by. What changed?”
Applejack stepped closer with the words, still only worried for her scantily-clad friend. She was like that, of course. Always caring, always putting others first.
Sunset looked to Applejack, but her gaze slid to the broad, muscular shoulders. Still no idea what to do about all that…
...Right, Rarity. She’ll know. There was time.
Sunset grinned and forced her eyes to Applejack’s face. “Christmastime. I might be buying something nice for myself, too. Just a few weekends of this to give me money to burn.”
Her phone chimed from its pocket, opening a line of retreat. “Sorry guys, I have to take this in private.”
She entered the bedroom, closed the door, and checked the phone. An email from Gunkitty showcasing its holiday holsters and plushies. Whatever. Sunset swiped the message aside and tapped Rarity’s name.
Five rings passed before a gargling voice answered, mingled with the same rain pattering Sunset’s window. “Darling, whatever has you calling at this unearthly hour?”
Sunset blinked once and glanced to Applejack’s clock. “It’s two in the afternoon.”
“On a Saturday,” the voice labeled ‘Rarity’ answered. “Last night Rainbow took me the most vulgar soirée I have ever seen. Kegs, dancing, and music so loud I can still feel it hammering my skull.”
“Sorry,” Sunset offered sympathetically.
“Not at all,” Rarity croaked. “Great fun. Can’t wait for the one next week. But the party didn’t quite wind down until a few hours ago, so if this can please wait...”
Sunset spoke quickly. “It can definitely wait. I’ll hang up, I just think I’m in love and–”
“I ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR MY FRIENDS SO DON’T HANG UP!”
Wind from the receiver blew Sunset’s hair with the words. Frazzled and suddenly questioning the wisdom of her course, she offered meek protest.
“It’s not urgent.”
Too late. Rarity’s posh accent emerged in its flawless norm. “Au contraire, mon chéri! Nothing is more urgent than matters of the heart!”
“O...kay,” Sunset said cautiously. “But you have to keep this a secret. It’s kind of weird.”
A melodic titter sounded in response. “Darling, darling! You can tell me anything. SoTellMeEverything!”
Another voice came over the line, lower and grumbling. “Rares, what the heck has you shouting at this ungodly hour?”
“Rainbow, good timing~!” Rarity’s sing-song tone sent quiet sweat down Sunset’s face. “Our little Sunset has a boyfriend~!”
“Cool. Who is it?”
“She’s about to tell us~! If someone would stop interrupting~!”
Sunset contemplated hanging up, then realized the inevitable pursuit and decided against. “Hi, Rainbow. I don’t have a boyfriend, I have a crush. I want to talk about it but I don’t want you to tell anyone… else.”
“Of course she agrees,” Rarity chimed.
Rainbow gave a low chuckle. “Yeah. This stays between me, Rarity, and Rarity’s MyStable friends.”
“You wound me,” Rarity sighed, but then went on in a more subdued tone. “But yes, Sunset, you may trust my discretion. I shan’t tell a soul.”
A gentle cough from Sunset earned a last two words. “Starting now.”
As good as Sunset was going to get. “Fine. She doesn’t know yet, but… it’s Applejack.”
Silence formed the first response. A touch disheartening given the circumstances. Rarity made to speak, but ear-splitting thunder from outside interrupted, accompanied by a hiss as their connection fell to static.
Crappy weather didn’t usually slow business at Shooters, but today’s driving, freezing storm kept all but the determined in their homes. A blessing and a curse: fewer tips to go around, but plenty of time to discreetly text Rainbow and Rarity.
They were supportive – of course they were, but even in texts Sunset sensed an undercurrent of caution. For her to be hetero-with-exceptions was fine, and for her to experiment in a more female direction was doubly so. But each of them pegged Applejack as someone who craved more than experimentation. Commitment, intimacy… could Sunset give her that? Not even Sunset knew. This was all still strange to her.
The chat petered out as both confidants offered the same advice: Go for it. But mind that Applejack was a sensitive girl who would blame herself if things didn’t work out. Be her friend, no matter what.
...In short, things Sunset had already figured out for herself. But it felt nice to have a sounding board.
Rainbow tried to resurrect the conversation with a wink-faced comment about Applejack’s rope-tying skills, at which point Sunset decided to take on an extra few tables. More work meant more tips, although she had cause to regret the moment she saw the mound of curly orange hair in the first booth.
Sunset could retreat… no, the manager was here and he’d already dinged her once for the texting. Sunset wound her way past the bar (only half-filled tonight with the usual array of perverts and football-nuts) and approached Adagio’s smirk with resignation.
“What a coincidence,” Sunset said in irate greeting. “I didn’t know you liked sports bars.”
“I don’t, but I do like scantily clad women in subservient roles.” Adagio made a show of studying the menu. “I think I’ll start with a...”
She gave a long, slow lick of the lips. “Special Number Five.”
“There is no Special Number Five.” Sunset said in a tone that brooked no dissent.
Adagio didn’t care. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you have to deny it. But why else would they have these long tablecloths, if not for you to go under there?”
“There is no Special Number Five,” Sunset growled again. “It’s a stupid internet rumor. Technically I can throw you out just for suggesting it.”
“I bet if AJ ordered the Special Five you’d give it to her.”
Sunset released a groan and wrote on her pad. “I’ll bring you some water. Splash yourself with it and I’ll be back in a few minutes to either take your order or call the police.”
She blew out a sigh as she walked away, though quickly put on a grin for the next booth. And then the next…
She froze at the sight of its two occupants: one a massive, hairy man in a pinstripe suit, and the other a shrimpy, clay-skinned nerd. Both looking back with expressions of shock mirroring her own.
“Professor Whooves,” Sunset said meekly. “Iron Will. H...hi.”
Both of her ex-teachers and monster hunting comrades avoided eye contact.
“Hi, Sunset,” Iron Will offered. “You, uh… you work at Shooters, huh?”
“You eat at Shooters,” Sunset replied.
“We like feetball,” Whooves said.
Iron Will fidgeted with a gaudy ruby ring on his finger. “Does your mom know you work here?”
“No. Does she know you come here?”
“Um… no.” Whooves gave a weak smile. “So, neither of us saw each other?”
“Oh, oh!” Iron Will plastered on a wheedling grin. “None of us saw each other, and when we order the large wings you’ll ‘accidentally’ bill us for a medium instead.”
“Make it a twenty-five percent tip and you have a deal,” Sunset held up her pen.
The pair spoke together. “Done.”
“One ‘medium’ wings, coming up.” Sunset scribbled something incomprehensible to all but her. “And thank you for coming to Shooters where – ugh – ‘we’re cool, cute, and like men who can shoot!’”
“Please don’t make this more awkward than it is,” Whooves said meekly.
“Company policy, I have to say certain catchphrases with certain orders.” Sunset’s voice emerged low and annoyed. “For all our sake, don’t order the corn dogs, frozen bananas, or clams. Now what can I get you to drink? Our tap beers are Heineykins, Adam Sams, Bud Pisswater...”
Author's Note
Link for those unfamiliar with the reference.
Short chapter is short... was originally part of the next but they were both different and long enough I chose to divide. Next will go up sometime next week.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Pleasant (if Passively Petulant) Ponified Principals Partaking in Princess Parties
It was no chance or magic that made this vacation to Equestria wonderful beyond the sisters’ expectations. Though the land might seem a Utopian paradise, the carefree indulgence they enjoyed was in fact bankrolled by their princess doppelgangers. Smiling pony hosts had dodged Celestia’s financial questions, but surely the equivalent of thousands of dollars in services had been provided so they might enjoy their stay.
All the good princesses asked in return was that they visit Canterlot Castle for dinner one day.
One single dinner, on one single day. “Absolutely,” Celestia had said, smiling politely to the messenger.
Luna whined. Of course she did, but at least she stopped by the time they arrived in Canterlot. Even she could feel grateful to Princess Celestia for all they received.
...Perfect Princess Celestia.
The principal gave a low sigh, causing her sister’s ears to perk up. Luna’s gaze finally moved from the castle – massive, gaudy, and closer with every step.
“You okay?”
“Fine.” Celestia painted on a smile. “How’s my hair?”
Luna didn’t look. “Floaty and weird. Also, you never ask me about your hair, so what’s up?”
“It’s stupid.” Celestia let the facade fall, turning to their destination with a wry frown.
“It’s not stupid to you, so that means it’s not stupid.” Luna kept pace with Celestia. “And yes, I did steal that from your Momset Shimmer quote book. Now tell me what’s up. I thought you got on fine with Celestia-Two.”
“Be nice,” Celestia chided. Then she mumbled, “If anyone’s Celestia-Two, it’s me.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t see it that way.”
Celestia shuffled, slowing and putting her eyes to the ground. “Of course. It’s still...”
Another sigh. “Hard to describe. What are you supposed to do about someone who is better than you in every way that matters so you can’t help but be jealous, but they’re so good and kind that you know your jealousy is immature and misplaced?”
Blue vanished from the corner of her vision. Celestia turned to see Luna stopped in her tracks, meeting her gaze with a flat frown and utterly nonplussed expression.
After a few seconds of impasse, it was Luna’s turn to give a long, deep-breath sigh before walking past Celestia. “You suck it up for twenty years.”
“Luna!” Celestia ran to catch up. “I’m sorry.”
Luna released a shaky chuckle. “I’m not; jeez, don’t apologize. What do you think I’ll do, throw a jealous hissy-fit and try to destroy civilization because my sister’s more popular?”
Celestia pursed her lips to a thin line. “You can joke like that with me, but not one word of it inside. This evening will be long enough without–”
“Greetings, mine sisters from another plane!”
Another Luna in crown and jewelry bound towards them from the palace steps, audible from a half-block away. Time enough for them to plaster on grins before she tackled them to the ground.
“We bid thee welcome to regal Canterlot! Celestia-Two, tis so good of you to come partake in the festivities.”
“Our pleasure,” Celestia said, managing to keep her serene expression. “But… festivities? I thought this was just dinner.”
“A dinner party,” Princess Luna clarified, rising to let them stand. “The cream of the Canterlot nobility, all here for the Sapphire Social.”
Moving her swan-length neck deftly, she planted a kiss on each of Human-Luna’s cheeks. “Mine twin! We hope thy charming lack of manners has not diminished, else it may be difficult to tell us apart.”
There was no time to respond. The exuberant princess hugged the displaced humans tightly around their necks, bursting out in song for exactly two lines before the hug brought Celestia’s horn into her sister’s eye.
The damage was minimal, thankfully. Human-Luna lowly informed Celestia it was less painful than her singing voice, so the result was a win. And their trip to the castle infirmary let the hesitant sisters arrive after the party was in full swing, thus making a ripple instead of a splash.
Discretion proved out of the question, of course. The assembled nobles and royalty mingled with bizarre creatures – neon bug-ponies, griffons, and God-damned Queen Chrysalis over by the bar – but there could be no missing a pair of princess clones. Ponies descended from all sides, questions on their lips…
...Then moved on, to other friends and gossips. Maybe a dozen intercepted the principals, each giving introduction and a few words of chat before continuing their evening. Polite questions found polite answers. The sisters gathered drinks at the bar…
“Can I touch your butt?”
“No, Miss Chrysalis, you may not.”
...and sandwiches from the backs of well-dressed waiters. A mare in glasses joked that they could substitute for the princesses one day, and Celestia obligingly laughed.
The sisters found a quiet corner and compared notes. “This is more like a PTA meeting than a royal event.”
Celestia nibbled at a snack, while Luna crammed hers down, swallowed, and spoke. “Fine by me. It’s way less awkward than some formal dinner.”
“And I’m sure Princess Celestia planned it that way,” Celestia said lowly.
“Yeah, maybe.” Luna plucked another sandwich from a table three meters away. Her magic pulped the food upon lifting it to the air, then compressed it until the once-proud sandwich appeared more like a potato chip.
Luna shrugged and popped it in her mouth. “Right now I’m just happy we’re not being treated like zoo animals. You know, center of attention, ‘Come see these shitty bootleg versions of your princesses! They’re here to tell us how much their world sucks compared to ours!’ Maybe Princess Perfect briefed them to play it cool.”
Celestia sipped at her wine – it felt like minor treason after staying alcohol-free all her life. She always had Luna to care for, and then Sunset.
But Luna was here too, and was far more responsible than either of them once believed. And Sunset was a million light-years or whatever away, living the college high-life. Studying, playing, perhaps finding love.
The sip turned to a gulp. The wine was delicious. Light like a fruity soda, but giving a pleasant burn as it slid down her throat.
Breath fled in a contented gasp as Celestia pulled the empty glass from her lips. “Perhaps we’re not the strangest things here. Look around.”
They looked, and took turns pointing out events unfolding across the hall. Chocolate rain pattered on windows, and the shiny bug-ponies were playing some game where they would take a new form and ponies guessed who it was. A strange bipedal cat kissed Princess Celestia’s hoof, while Chrysalis watched, gnawed a pillow, and growled. On an upper level, two affronted nobles dueled with foam swords and pies. A baby giggled somewhere in the crowd, then unleashed a golden yellow blast through a wall.
The pair resumed their wanderings. A second glass of wine, and then – why not? – one more. They sampled hay and alfalfa recipes, then some sugary crystals which the bug ponies said were solidified love. Gossip sprung up – apparently the bugs were evolved changelings or somesuch, and a few had been with Chrysalis during her battle with the human hunters.
...In which Celestia and her friends ruthlessly murdered most of them. One got a touch bitter, Luna got a touch snippy, and they moved on.
Celestia took the lead, steadily guiding them down stairs to a lower section of the hall. Luna froze when she saw what was at the bottom, though Celestia nudged her forwards.
“At least say hello,” Celestia whispered before moving ahead with a pleasant smile. This was a small, secluded area, far cozier than the sprawling hall around. A few tables held food and drink so its occupants need not depart, and a half-dozen enormously cushioned sofas fanned out along the walls. White and blue alicorns reclined atop the largest, cuddled together and now extracting themselves to stand for the newcomers.
“Celestia and Luna, welcome!” Princess Celestia beamed bright as her magic. The humans bowed, and she laughed and waved down a jeweled hoof. “No, not that. This is the right way to greet me.”
Her great pinions stretched and embraced the sisters’ necks, caressing them both with a radiance of warmth. She drew them back slowly, eliciting feathered giggles. “Come, recline with us. This is a place to escape attention and questions, though I ask you please endure my own.”
“My question first,” Human-Luna cut in. “Why is Chrysalis out there? I figured you guys would lock her in a dungeon or something.”
Her pony twin tittered mirthfully, sauntering up to the conversation. “No dungeon, but she is locked with a strong chain indeed. Chrysalis and my sister have a...binding agreement.”
A frosting-pink blush rose to the pony Celestia’s cheeks. The human Luna took it in with a raised eyebrow and smirked. “Huh. Did you get it in writing, or was everything oral?”
Pony-Luna matched the expression. “Not everything. Do not fear, though. I hear they spanked out the details.”
She leaned in, grinning sadistically as her sister’s blush deepened. “And believe me… I heard.”
“Are you allowed to talk about it, or is there a gag order?”
“There is. Suffice to say, my sister dominates the conversations.”
“‘Gag order…?’” Principal Celestia squinted, thinking, before opening her eyes in red-faced shock. “Luna!”
“Yes?” Princess Luna replied innocently.
“Not you, my Luna!” Celestia bumped her sister with her horse-butt, and Luna defiantly bumped her back. “Bite your hair.”
“Whatever does that mean?” Princess Celestia asked quickly.
Pink eyes found each other, allied in purpose, and Human-Celestia answered just as fast. “An in-joke. The… ah, taste of my my hair has not changed since coming here. Cotton candy. But Luna’s hair now tastes like rich blackberries, so that’s a little phrase we made for when we want the other to please shut up.”
“Lost on us ponies, I’m afraid.” The white princess smoothly carried the conversation further from its origin. “Hair with a taste is a common feature among Equestrians.”
Human-Luna shrugged. “Not humans. My freak sister is the only one.”
Her princess mirror tilted her head. “Odd. Perhaps you have a pony ancestOW!”
Princess Celestia jabbed her with a hoof and pointed excitedly. “Look, there’s Discord! Discord, come over and introduce yourself.”
The sisters turned, with Principal Celestia wearing a befuddled expression. “Discord? How strange.”
“Wow. Most ponies don’t come out and say it.” The mismatched creature accepted Human-Luna’s hoof, but cocked his eyebrows at Celestia.
“No-no-no! My apologies.” Celestia clapped a hoof to her mouth, instantly finding regret as it banged her lips and teeth. “It’s just that my daughter has a professor named Discord on our side of the mirror. I don’t suppose you are one as well?”
“I substitute teach at a school,” Discord said, puffing out his chest to form masculine abs. A pink unicorn on one of the sofas slowly moved a pillow over her head. “But another Discord, you say… where are you two from? Some alternate universe, of course. One of the ones where everyone’s an animal, or something?”
The sisters shared a glance before Celestia shook her head. “No, we’re human. From Earth.”
“Right, what did I say?” Discord’s eagle claw idly began poking his abs, popping them like balloons. “Where does your daughter go to school?”
Celestia enthusiastically began digging into the purse around her neck. “Canterlot College. I have pictures of her. Her name’s Sunset, and she’s studying nursing with the intent to–”
“Nobody actually wants to see pictures of other people’s kids.” Discord held up a paw and checked a watch that appeared on his wrist.
“Be nice,” Princess Celestia chided.
“I’ll do you one better, I’ll be gone.” Discord began counting on his talons. “Much to do today. And frankly, despite your unusual and suspicious happiness to see me, one Celestia is hard to stomach at a time. Tolerating two is well beyond what can be reasonably expected of any sane individual.”
An extra talon sprouted to accompany his fifth count. “Earth, Canterlot… anyway, have fun sipping tea and being distantly polite to each other.”
Princess Celestia held up a hoof. “Before you leave, it’s sticky and hard to clean so can you please stop the chocolate...”
“...rain,” she finished as Discord snapped his paw and vanished.
Comparative silence fell, somehow made poignant by murmurs and laughter from the upper floors. The four shuffled in place, adrift until Princess Celestia raised a silver pot from a table. “Tea?”
“Thank you,” Celestia said, and they exchanged polite smiles.
“Feh and double-feh to thy tea!” Princess Luna called boisterously. A blue wing snaked out and pulled her twin to her side. “We Lunas shall relax and enjoy our company, not merely pretend to do so. We shall cuddle, snuggle, eat, and drink.”
Princess Celestia pursed her lips. “Human culture is not as intimate as ours. You should ask permission first.”
With far less grace, Human-Luna raised her wing and returned the hug. “She has it.”
She smirked at Principal Celestia’s incredulous look. “What? I’m soft, warm, and adorable. Besides, you’ve been pulling that ‘When in Rome’ line on me all month.”
They sauntered to one of the couches, whispering and nibbling each others’ hair, leaving the Celestias behind.
An awkward fidget came from each before Princess Celestia broke the quiet. “I won’t make you stand at attention. Wander if you like, eat, or recline. I shall do the latter.”
The polite smile wavered, shrinking to something small and shy. Like an embarrassed student. “You are welcome to join me.”
Like with an embarrassed student, Celestia gave a kindly expression. “I believe I shall.”
The shy smile flickered, just for an instant. “You must not feel pressured.”
“I don’t,” Human-Celestia promised. “‘When in Rome,’ and so forth. Cuddling is like a handshake for ponies, isn’t it?”
Princess Celestia placed herself on a sofa, folding her legs beneath. “More like a thing to be shared with friends. Which is...”
The pink eyes fell away, and a white wing raised to offer room beside her. “...What I would like us to be.”
Principal Celestia sidled alongside. The cushion was so soft that her legs sunk easily beneath her weight, and the downy wing that fell over chased away a chill she didn’t know she had.
She lit her magic and took a sip from her tea. It wasn’t until much later that Principal Celestia made the connection between the sudden ease with which she held the delicate porcelain and the soft yellow glow around her mirror’s horn.
“Would you like to hear about Sunset?”
“Yes,” Princess Celestia said. “And I do want to see your pictures. But first, I would like to hear about you.”
There was a cool draft upon her face, but the rest of her body was warm. As Principal Celestia rose to consciousness, she dimly realized the background noise had vanished, and the room was dark beyond her eyelids.
The downy feathers were still around her, and the warm body still alongside.
How long had they talked? An hour or more. About Sunset and her hopes… but also Celestia’s. The creeping middle age she joked so desperately about. Her romance, and lack thereof. Of course Princess Perfect was sympathetic, but also… something else. She seemed happy, in a strange, unrehearsed kind of way. Like she was scared to show just how happy she was.
“What time is it?”
“Late.” Princess Celestia’s melodic voice fell from above. “Our sisters are upstairs eating a second dinner.”
“I’m really sorry.” Celestia opened her eyes, beholding her twin once again. She made to get up, but the wing resisted.
The response was serene. The smile… nervous. Almost pained. “Leave if you must, but stay as long as you like. I am very grateful you spent this time with me.”
“Not at all.” Principal Celestia scooted closer, hoping to reassure. “We’re the ones who should be grateful. This was a wonderful vacation and…”
We didn’t want to visit you.
“...Sunset planned and Twilight organized, but you and Princess Luna made it possible. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Somehow, Princess Celestia looked sad behind her smile. “You are most welcome. And you must know the offer holds true even if you do not wish to see Luna and I.”
“We were happy to come,” Principal Celestia said automatically.
“I don’t like it when ponies feel they have to lie.”
The phrasing and tone took all hint of condemnation from the words. Princess Celestia looked off to the distance and swallowed. “You see a you that is all you are not. Ruler from the mountaintops, immortal and cloaked in power and alleged wisdom. How could there not be resentment in even the most worthy soul? What can one do with such feelings?”
Principal Celestia raised her head from its slumbered position. She cast a slow gaze over her twin, and slower still came the smile across her face.
She whispered, lending the words an air of mystery. “I know what one can do.”
The princess turned her head to look, and Celestia’s expression took a cheeky twist. “One can suck it up.”
Her twin began to speak: doubtless a polite rebuttal, and Principal Celestia didn’t give her the chance. “One can accept those feelings exist, and refuse to let them make decisions for her.”
“You are wise,” Princess Celestia said, and a cheerful twinkle crept to her eyes.
“I stole it from my sister,” Celestia confessed.
The princess released the tiniest of giggles. “Accepting imparted wisdom hardly qualifies as theft. But she is wise as well, and I believe I shall tell her. If she is anything like my own dear Luna, it will do her good to hear.”
An idea found Principal Celestia’s mind, and she spoke it without thought. “I know we’re on vacation, and you’re not. And we only have five days left. But if you want to do something together on those days, I would love to have you. Whatever you do for fun.”
“I would like that.” The princess scratched her chin with the free wing. “On Saturday mornings, Luna and I sometimes fly to a designated mountain in the Horseshoe Range and practice our battle magic. The lessons will do you good, and I can guarantee it will be exhilarating.”
Celestia beamed. “I think my Luna can get on board with that.”
“Shall we tell them?” Princess Celestia made to rise, but this time it was her twin’s white wing that did not budge from above.
“When they return.” Principal Celestia leaned into the white warmth beside her. “For now... I would like to hear about you.”
Author's Note
Other events occurring during the sisters’ visit to Equestria:
-Alicorns shit actual daisies, terrifying the sisters on their first day.
-Principal Celestia’s butt itches and she’s not sure how to scratch it as a pony. Her hind legs don’t go up high enough to scratch like a dog, and she sure as hell doesn’t trust her magic or Chrysalis' offer to scratch with teeth and tongue ("It's how all ponies do it!"). With Luna’s prompting she finds a corner to scratch it against just as the press corps arrives.
-Chrysalis bothers Princess Celestia to arrange a threesome with them and the other Celestia at least once a day for the entire vacation, each time using a different method to try and trick/wheedle her into complying. “It’ll count for my birthday AND Hearth’s Warming!”
-In an introspective evening, Celestia comments that even the dirt in Equestria somehow felt warm and friendly. She expressed an interest in being buried here when her time comes, then immediately apologized for being a downer. Luna dryly notes that she's followed Celestia all her life, and didn't much care where their corpses ended up so long as they stayed together.
Anyway, action resumes next chapter. Thank you for reading.
...And yeah, it's confusing as heck to write two Celestias and two Lunas in one room, so if there was any point you were confused as to who was talking, let me know and I'll try to fix.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Cheesecake bullshit kicked to the nines and given cocaine
All good things must come to an end. The principals – ponies for only a few more minutes – stood by the mirror in Twilight’s castle. The princesses stood behind them, with their goodbyes already said.
Principal Celestia gave each a final look and nod. She waved gently, turned, and–
“Wait.”
It was Princess Luna, striding to cover the short distance between them. Celestia turned back to find a sizable, clinking leather pouch held in a blue aura. “In our talks, mine twin told me of thy monetary troubles.”
“Did she, now?” Celestia shot her sister a glare.
Luna looked away, whistling, while the princess went on. “Indeed. Financing a band of monster hunters who labor without profit in the defense of thine fellows, as well as paying for young Sunset Shimmer’s education. Please accept this gold, that thou might maintain thy livelihood throughout these challenges.”
“Thank you, but no,” Celestia said firmly. “You have already been wonderfully generous in allowing this vacation of ours. We did not come for handouts.”
“Tis not a handout,” Princess Luna replied. “If anything, tis just recompense for sponsoring mine sister’s wayward student.”
“I did not do it for anyone other than Sunset, and certainly not for a reward.” Celestia shook her head. “The answer is no.”
She did not like the quiet smirk that came to Princess Luna’s face, or the amused tinge of her words. “So be it.”
Without missing a beat, the princess stepped twice to the left and stood before Vice-Principal Luna. “College bills, silver bullets, etcetera. Mirror-twin, accept this gift.”
“Gee, thanks!” Luna grinned broadly, taking the magic-held bag as Human-Celestia protested.
“Luna, no! We talked about this.”
“We did not,” Princess Luna replied. “Hmph, thou art like mine sister. So used to dispensing kindness that thou positively howls when told to receive.”
The smirk widened. “Besides, thou art outvoted.”
“Three to one,” Princess Celestia confirmed. She stepped close, silencing further protest with a hug and kindly smile. “If you like, please think of it as our contribution to Sunset’s education. I would not have it said that a scion of the royal house of Equestria was made to live utterly without its support.”
The principal frowned. “You’re intentionally making it sound like I’m the one doing you a favor in order to make me more likely to accept.”
“Whatever makes you say that?” Princess Celestia asked, the very model of baffled innocence.
I do it, too.
“She does it, too,” Human-Luna said around a mouthful of her last scone.
Outnumbered and outplayed, Celestia made a show of grumbling as she leaned into the white princess’ embrace. The Lunas did the same, and then they traded.
“It is a hard thing to be in another’s shadow,” Princess Luna whispered as they entwined their necks. “And hard as well to cast thine own shadow with guilt. Shine brightly all the same.”
That got a tear or two. Blue feathers flicked gently as they retreated, wiping her eyes.
A chaste kiss on the cheeks. A last wave. A fifth assurance to Twilight Sparkle that no, they didn’t forget anything.
“Back to reality,” Luna murmured. Each wore a purse and small bag of souvenirs that would hopefully survive through the portal. They bumped butts affectionately – a habit they assuredly would have to break – and walked slowly into the mirror’s empty glass.
The moon shined over Canterlot High. Sunset was there, just as promised. Celestia beamed, wobbling only a little on two legs as she approached with open arms. Sunset ran towards them, extending her hands…
And seized them both by the wrists. She yanked, speeding the unbalanced principals towards the car while shouting over an earpiece phone.
“I’ve got them! We’ll meet you there, just go!”
“Suns-” Celestia only got the first syllable out before the sudden release of Sunset’s pull sent her stumbling. Sunset heaved open the car door and immediately resumed her grip to throw them in. The dizzy sisters did their best to crawl onto the back seats while Sunset ran to the front, gunned the engine, and screeched from the parking lot.
“What’s going on?” Luna growled, trying to don her seat-belt. A two-wheeled turn sent her careening into Celestia instead. “And holy balls, turn up the heat. It’s November and we’re both–”
“There’s no time to explain!” Sunset shouted.
Celestia managed to push Luna back to her seat. “Dearie, we’re–”
“No, no, I was talking to them!” Sunset called over her phone. “Just get… no, of course I haven’t seen Wallflower!”
Luna leaned forwards, managing to claim attention by shouting directly in the ear. “Sunset!”
“What!?”
“We. Are...” Luna gestured broadly, finally attracting a second glance from Sunset. “Naked!”
Sunset looked again, blushed, and turned back to the road. “Uh… check the bag in the middle seat.”
Celestia unzipped it hopefully, then her expression fell. “It’s only our guns.”
“Yeah,” Sunset said distractedly. “Get them out.”
“Sunset...”
“Wait, wait, I have an idea.” Luna leaned down and began rummaging beneath her seat. “Remember that board meeting, maybe seven-ish years ago when we had to go out of town? You found out the hotel had a pool so you bought us swimsuits thinking we might be normal for once.”
“Vaguely, but what of it?” Celestia asked.
Luna tossed aside an oil rag and ice scraper before producing a ratty, ripped nylon bag. “You told me to unpack afterwards, but we had no place for these so I just kind of jammed them in here. Let’s see, I think this one was yours.”
A golden, skimpy swimsuit was thrown onto Celestia’s lap without ceremony. The immature remnant of an unstellar part of her life, where knowledge of her growing age and endless virginity occasionally sparked fits of silliness. She remembered posing in front of the store mirror with Luna, each bragging of the male suitors they’d find on that stupid work trip. Then, when they found the pool crowded, the shy sisters instead retreated to their room.
It took Celestia an extra few seconds to pick up the swimsuit, and then only with her forefinger and thumb. Not great memories. Besides…
“Luna, our bodies have changed since then.”
“Not by that much,” Luna assured, already pulling on her own black top. “A little snug, that’s all. You can go naked if you want.”
“Go where?” Celestia said insistently. Still, trapped by the logic, she donned the outfit.
Sunset gave another glance back. “Everfree Forest.”
“Nothing good happens in Everfree!” Luna cried out.
“Zecora lives there,” Celestia noted.
“Right, what did I say?”
“Yeah, well this time it’s not the forest’s fault.” Sunset stopped at a red light long enough to glance for cops, then plowed on through. “A meteor crashed there this evening, only it wasn’t a meteor.”
“Aliens are a little outside of our pay grade,” Luna said.
Sunset shook her head. “They’re not aliens. According to Twilight, they came from a secret moon colony that was established by a human nation in the Forties.”
“Still not sure why we care.”
“I’m getting to that part,” Sunset grumbled as they neared the Everfree border. “Professor Whooves tracks… you know, science hoo-ha for concentrations of magical power, and this colony was founded on a part of the moon that’s like Canterlot’s Ley Line times a thousand. It’s also super-evil. Him and Twilight think there’s a portal to Hell or Tartarus or whatever you want to call it there.”
Celestia opened her mouth, but the screeching whine of a jet engine stole the words. She looked up in time to glimpse the outline of a black winged rocket, and parachutes dropping in its wake.
“They’ve set up some techno-magic ritual to use the wild magic of Everfree to open a link between there and here, meaning we’re literally going to have neighbors from Hell if we don’t stop them now.”
“Which nation?” Celestia got out.
Luna grunted and slapped a magazine into one of her machine pistols. “You know exactly which nation.”
Celestia hefted her carbine, casting an irate glance to the front seat. “Perhaps. Sunset, next time remember our pants. I have sixteen shots and nowhere to put the rest.”
Luna gave a leering chuckle. “Maybe make like that one movie and put a clip between your–”
A bolt of blue energy flew from the treeline, right past their car with a fearsome hiss. Another bolt followed further away, and further still came a crumpled explosion and retaliatory gunfire.
“Sunset,” Celestia said low and quickly. “I plan to get another three years out of this car. Pull over and we’ll go in on foot.”
“Barefoot,” Luna grumbled. She wiggled her toes, then caught herself and stared as she wiggled them twice more. “Weird, having toes again. I wonder why we have them. It’s not like you can–”
“LATER, Luna!”
A blue bolt shot between Applejack and Adagio, each hunkered behind a tree. Applejack chanced a peek around to find their assailants implacably advancing: tall, humanoid creatures in black space suits with red armbands. Fishbowl helmets revealed their faces to be snarling and demonic, and each wore a backpack that seemed to power the energy guns in their hands. One held a pistol instead, and inside his fishbowl wore a peaked hat with a little picture of a human skull.
It seemed like their weapons needed to wait a few seconds between shots. Applejack smiled grimly as they foolishly all fired at once, then leaned out and answered with her shotgun. The slug flew true, slamming into one of their chests and sparking as it bounced off.
Applejack pulled back behind cover, glanced to her companion, and groaned. Adagio was checking her phone.
“Daj!”
“You know, I’ve been around for a thousand years,” Adagio said, pausing as another bolt sliced between them. “There’s a lot of modern stuff that I can’t help but see as stupid. Like healthcare: ‘Waah, waah, I want to live an extra ten years in decrepit agony and I want the government to pay for it.’ Or racism, because I guess it’s hard to grasp that you’re all just stupid humans. But probably the weirdest thing is you people’s fascination with the Nazis being some kind of be-all-end-all evil. They killed people… so what? The Communists attacked way more nations and killed way more people, even in the same time frame. Britain once owned a quarter of the globe and they didn’t do it by asking nicely, and the colonial Americans committed plenty of atrocities.”
“And if we were fighting demon-possessed colonial Americans bent on destroying the world, y’all might have a point!” Applejack shouted. “Now we are gonna get disintegrated or whatever real fast unless–”
Bursts of gunfire emerged from their left: rapid taps from a machine pistol and the slower, sharper crack of a carbine. More sparks flew from the armored suits, but some bullets found the helmets. The fishbowls cracked easily, and the heads of their assailants burst open with desiccated green gore.
Still aiming down the sights of her gun, Celestia ran into sight, though it was not a Celestia either girl had ever seen. Sunset once mentioned the light worked weirdly on her skin, but seeing it in action… moonbeams played across the pale pink, casting an ethereal glow from her exposed chest and long, smooth legs. Her golden bikini seemed dull by comparison, and perhaps some remnant of Equestrian magic sent shimmering multi-hued hair billowing in her wake.
They stared, open-mouthed as Celestia turned to them. “Are you girls okay?”
“Yes’m.” Applejack scratched furiously in an effort to hide her flaming cheeks.
Celestia nodded. “Good. Do you know where anyone else is?”
Adagio tapped a bluetooth in her ear. “Dial in.”
An annoyed smile crept to Celestia’s face. She turned to her companions, who Applejack and Adagio somehow hadn’t noticed before now. “No phone, either.”
“Where would you put it?” Luna asked with a shrug.
“Um...” Sunset listened pensively to her earpiece, then pointed. “Whooves and Twilight set up a portable space cannon–”
“A what?” Luna said flatly.
Sunset didn’t hear. “–To deal with these paratroopers, but they’re under attack. Maybe two-hundred meters that way.”
“Then let’s go,” Celestia said.
Adagio raised a finger. “Wait, we need Sunset for a minute.”
Celestia hoisted her rifle and turned. “Alright. Sweetie, catch up when you can. Luna, let’s go.”
“Space Nazis from Hell.” Luna followed, shaking her head. “And here I wondered if I’d be bored coming back to Earth.”
Adagio waited for them to speed away before looking to Sunset with a grin. “Dude, your mom’s hot.”
“What?” Sunset recoiled. “No. quit it.”
Applejack pulled down her hat over her face. “Sorry, girl. Ten outta ten, easy.”
“I would do her right now.” Adagio looked to where the principals departed and licked her lips. “Is she single?”
“Yes.” Sunset blinked, then her eyes shot wide. “I mean no! Taken, yes, definitely taken. Come on, we need to push towards the ritual site.”
“I’d do her in cold mud.”
“E tu, Applejack?”
Adagio bit down hard on a lip. “I’d tie her up and–”
“FOCUS, people!”
A short, grassy plain divided Everfree and Canterlot, giving maybe a hundred meters between cover and chaos. Squads of invaders advanced towards the city one slow, menacing stomp at a time.
A rifle cracked from across the field, and a fishbowl helmet exploded along with the head inside.
Gray-skinned, yellow-eyed Limestone Pie worked the action on her smoking Winchester, grinning savagely to her foes. “Fortress America, dick-breaths! Plenty more where that’s from.”
Another gunshot from the left marked the start of her dad’s contribution. Igneous stared down after the bullet, frowning despite its positive effect. At his side, Cloudy Quartz wore an equally-dour expression as she leaned into her grassy cover. Bony hands depressed her rifle’s trigger, bursting open another helmet.
“Keep thy head down, Limestone,” Igneous called sternly. “Thy mother will be very cross if you are killed.”
“They’re lousy shots,” Limestone called back. A blue bolt passed well overhead, underscoring the point. “The day I let some fuck-face Nazi kill me is the day I die.”
“I am told that is how it works,” Cloudy replied.
The ghost of a kindly old woman emerged from the knoll next to Limestone, wringing its hands. “Listen to your father, dear. I checked ahead, there are a lot more coming.”
“Hell, yeah.” Limestone’s grin didn’t shrink. But she definitely knew better than to argue with Granny Pie, and so crouched into the wet grass. Her second shot brought another kill. The third struck armor, but the fourth and fifth maintained the good account she expected of herself. Compared to the precise aim needed for hunting werewolves, slow-moving fishbowls were ducks in a barrel.
Her parents fared no worse. The first squad had crossed less than half the distance before being cut apart, and the next fared no better.
Ominous mechanical crunching from within the forest announced the easy times were over. The sound continued at a regular beat, louder and louder until its source lumbered into view: a gray-painted tank, stomping forwards on four mechanical legs in the place of treads.
The legs crouched and tilted, swinging the barrel of its cannon directly towards Limestone.
Confronted with death at last, she faced it with dignity. “Oh, fuck you from now to Thursday.”
Jean-clad legs entered her crouched vision, drawing an irate follow-up to her famous last words. “Maud, run!”
Too late. Smoke burst from the cannon barrel, sending a pointed shell right at them. Maud’s expression remained neutral as she raised her war pick over her shoulder.
She swung, impacting the approaching shell with the flat of the weapon. The deafening clang of metal on metal followed behind as the shell streaked to their left, then completed its curve into the side of the tank.
The explosion provided back-light as Maud turned, bringing disapproving green eyes to bear. “You know Granny doesn’t like it when you swear.”
Limestone grinned with one side of her mouth. “She doesn’t like it when you take needless risks.”
“That wasn’t needless.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Limestone wiped a hand down her face and returned the rifle to her shoulder. Squad number three was coming, this time on motorbikes. “I owe you.”
“I’ll put it on your tab.” Something like a smile graced Maud’s face. She crouched behind their cover as Limestone got back to work.
Things were a bit more frantic inside the forest. Sunset shouted more and more into her phone, but all coordination had been lost. Men and women fought in the darkened woods, blind to the fate of all outside their vision.
Applejack plucked Sunset’s sleeve and pointed. “Hey, there’s Iron Will!”
The top half of his suit was gone, revealing excessive hair and abundant muscles. He stood in a clearing, trading punches with a mutant ape monstrosity wearing a peaked cap with a little picture of a human skull.
“When the Nazis are invading, Iron Will starts crusading!”
“He’s fine,” Sunset said distractedly. “Where’s Adagio? We need toSHIT!”
The pair dove to the side as another ape lurched through the trees, but this one staggered and fell with a smoking hole in the back of its head.
Two figures followed slowly behind it: one in a habitual purple blazer, the other in a decidedly unhabitual gold swimsuit. “At least head-shots still work.”
“Do not change the subject, Miss Celestia.” Nagatha Harshwhinny calmly loaded her revolver. “I understand you are having something of a midlife crisis, but to battle clothed as you are now sets an extremely poor example. Even Cheerilee has the common sense to wear pockets.”
On cue, the purple woman ran past them in a bikini top and jean shorts smaller than most underwear, totting a massive shotgun and larger grin. A stream of unbroken curses in Yiddish could still be heard as she vanished from sight, periodically interrupted by her weapon’s cataclysmic retort.
“I just got back from the mirror,” Celestia said, patting her sides in a vain search for more ammunition. “I’m lucky I have this. Most Equestrians don’t wear clothes in the first place.”
Miss Harshwhinny raised her nose. “Absolutely disgusting. I trust the pony version of myself has higher standards than to parade about in the nude.”
She lifted a magazine of carbine ammo from her blazer and handed it off to Celestia. “Here.”
Celestia beamed. “How did you think to pack it?”
“Preparation,” Harshwhinny announced primly. “An admirable quality in anyone, but most of all for one who purports to lead a group of hunters.”
“Literally: just from Equestria,” Celestia grumbled.
Harshwhinny gave a dismissive wave. “Rest easy, I was referring to your daughter.”
“Wait, Sunset’s not allowed to...” Celestia trailed off, blinking dumbly as Nagatha turned to deliver another well-aimed shot into an ape monster’s skull. Her eyes moved, catching Sunset and Applejack discreetly trying to disappear into the underbrush.
“THERE WAS ONE RULE, YOUNG LADY!”
A few meters away, Redheart rolled her eyes and idly bounced a grenade off her palm. “Here it comes.”
“WELL I COULDN’T JUST NOT HUNT!”
“YOU COULD. IT IS EASY. YOU SIMPLY NOT HUNT!”
Redheart caught the grenade and got to work wrenching her knife from the spine of yet another dead bullshit cyborg monstrosity. “What do you think?”
Cranky Doodle fired his sniper rifle, popping a fishbowl. “I think I am absolutely unqualified to judge Celestia’s parenting.”
“Yeah, no shit, but what do you think?”
“I think I’m living the dream right now and really wish you’d lay off and enjoy it with me.”
“Fair, fair.”
“WE CAN FINISH THIS TOGETHER, BUT AFTER THAT YOU ARE GROUNDED!”
“I’M NINETEEN, YOU CAN’T GROUND ME!”
“IS THAT IN THE RULES, YOUNG LADY?”
The car-sized space cannon fired, giving a deceptively soft “thweem” as it hurled a blast of super-heated plasma to the air. The scientist duo watched, then cheered as it connected with a black rocket flying above.
“Initiate the recharge!” Professor Whooves called. “We’ll give it two more shots to make sure the algorithm holds true, then switch to auto-fire.”
“Got it!” Twilight said, already twisting dials on the machine. “And geez, I’m glad my parents don’t know I do this.”
“Bit awkward to listen to,” Whooves conceded. “Especially since… well, who is right?”
Twilight gave a high-pitched snort. “Sunset, of course.”
“Sort of,” Whooves said. “It seems wrong of Celestia to ask her to turn her back when innocents are in danger. But is Celestia wrong at all for wanting to keep her daughter safe, and regulate her participation in this exciting-but-lethal profession?”
Twilight shrugged unhappily. “I guess not. So what do I say to them?”
Whooves gave her an encouraging clap on the shoulder. “Good news: we’re nerds. No one will ask our opinion. Now, I have a bead on the next rocket...”
He trailed off as an ape monster crawled into their clearing. It raised one hand, moaning despairingly as Iron Will descended in a pile-drive from above.
“Why am I here!?” Fluttershy squeaked. She and Adagio stood on a high point within the forest: a small cliff from which they could see the space cannon at work, and a legged tank stomping inevitably towards it.
“MOM, OF COURSE I COULD HANDLE IT! I JUST HANDLED THAT GUY ABOUT TO SHOOT YOU, I THINK I CAN HANDLE A WEREWOLF!”
“MAYBE I COULD HAVE SHOT HIM MYSELF IF I HAD POCKETS TO… WHAT WEREWOLF!?”
“Will they be okay?” Fluttershy asked nervously, casting her eyes in vain to the darkened forest.
Adagio tapped on her phone. “They’ll be hugging and apologizing before the night’s over.”
Fluttershy tried to lean in to look at who she was texting, then cringed from the defensive glare. “Okay, but why am I here?”
“You’re a were-manatee, aren’t you?”
“I really don’t see how that–”
Adagio pushed, sending Fluttershy toppling from the cliff end-over-end while screaming an adorable, tiny scream. Instincts took over halfway down: skin faded to gray and flesh expanded, turning her to a portly, twelve-foot manatee.
Fluttershy hit the tank back-first. It exploded beneath her bulk, leaving her belly-up amidst the rubble, still screaming in the brief moment before she gracelessly passed out.
Luna stumbled on a thorny root, falling low enough to raise butt to the heavens before she caught herself. A low, female voice chuckled from behind.
“The full moon rises, round and blue!
Muffled hoofsteps accompanied the words. Luna looked back to see the bald, brown-skinned witch of the Everfree approaching from atop a shaggy gray unicorn.
Luna made to right herself, putting her foot down then jerking it back up with a hiss. She peered at it in the moonlight, finding a thorn punctured through her sole.
“Bleeding,” she said. “Zecora, can you help?”
“I cannot. But my friend, he can.” The unicorn touched its horn to Luna’s shoulder, flooding her body with way more magic than strictly necessary. “There, now you are whole ag...”
“I HAD THE SITUATION PERFECTLY UNDER CONTROL!”
“YOU WERE BITTEN BY A WEREWOLF, THIS DOES NOT SOUND LIKE PERFECT CONTROL!”
Luna set her now-healed foot to the ground. Zecora rolled her eyes. “Man coddles its children beyond all use...”
She hesitated and shrugged, arms akimbo. “But your sister has a good excuse.”
Luna grunted. “Call me crazy, but–”
She interrupted herself with a burst from her machine pistol, sending its last two bullets into a fishbowl helmet. Mercifully, the rest of the squad had its own problems. A blur of curly orange hair and mocking laughter moved among them, punctuated every moment with a flashing knife and bursting blood. A thrown Stetson blinded, then a shotgun downed, an ape monster to their left, while further behind a “thweem” sent another ball of plasma to the sky.
With no more imminent threats, Luna went on. “Call me crazy, but World War Three seems like a shitty time to discuss this! We can kill Nazis all day and it won’t matter. They’re doing the ritual inside their Terra Lander. We’ll need the space cannon to penetrate it, which means dragging the thing through two miles of forest and I don’t think we can make it in...”
“...time,” she finished guardedly. Zecora wore an infuriatingly knowing smirk, staring back from atop her mount.
“For your triumph, have no fear.
Though it descended from space, the Terra Lander was an immovable fortress of black metal and automated defenses. Techno-magic conducted the ritual within its very circuitry, freeing the command staff to manage its defense.
One fishbowl-helmed demon glared at the red alarms on its console. “Ve haf lost ze seventh platoon!”
“Dot puts us at below qvarter strength!” Another snapped.
A third voice emerged, coming from every speaker in the Lander. “No matter.”
Its source was a small glass case in the center of the room, containing viscous liquid in which floated a throbbing brain with a small mustache. “They cannot breach the Terra Lander. Not with their precious space cannon, nor with all the might of their decadent modern age. We shall paint this world in the image of Hell.”
No help for the soldiers outside, but they were certainly proud to die for such a cause. The first demon to speak resumed typing at his station. A gentle cough sounded to his right, and when that failed to gain his attention, a hand plucked at his sleeve.
The small, green girl cringed under his disinterested glance. “Sorry, but I’m looking for the self-destruct button?”
“Yellow lever, right wall.” He jerked a thumb in its general direction and got back to work.
Out of breath and out of anger, Celestia and Sunset stood facing each other with tears rimming their eyes.
“I’m sorry I shouted. I just… want you to be safe.”
Sunset smiled back weakly. “And I’m sorry I broke your rules. I just wanted you to be proud of me.”
Celestia returned the smile. “I already am.”
They fell into each other’s arms, hugging tightly. In the distance, an orange mushroom cloud exploded into the sky, claiming the Terra Lander and all that was left of the invasion.
Author's Note
Canterlot City council met the day after the battle and, by a vote of 14-0, unanimously agreed absolutely nothing out of the ordinary occurred that night.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
"A true, true friend," etc.
Faint smoke rose from Wallflower’s hair, and a line across Applejack’s side was red and peeling from an energy blast’s near-miss. Sunset’s shaking hand unlocked their dorm room. The five rookie hunters piled in, meandering dumbly for a moment before Twilight thought to turn on the lights. They blinked owlishly in sudden phosphorescence before their adjusting gazes found each others’ eyes.
Sunset was the first to grin – a broad, shining expression that jumped like lightning to her friends. “We beat the Nazis.”
No other comment or clarification was needed. The group cheered, heedless of the late hour. What the heck, it was Saturday. Applejack fetched a rare bottle of apple champagne from her room, the rest stormed a convenience mart for chips and salsa, and the impromptu party launched in full force. Nothing they hadn’t shared before – chatting, laughing, and video games – but the atmosphere made it a time of unbridled glee. They howled as over half the champagne bubbled to the floor upon opening, and wasted no time making the difference with other drinks. Wallflower unleashed her latest purchase for the Gamestation: Super Pillar Party, a shockingly aerobic game that sent them tipsily jumping and waving in a contest for stars and coins.
The first bit of come-down hit when Wallflower’s frantic maneuvers brought her elbow into Applejack’s side, drawing a rare “Fuck!”
She jerked and hissed, though waved away concern. “Ain’t nothing that’ll kill me. Just my little friend.”
She pulled up her shirt, revealing beefy abs that immediate sent Sunset into a blush. More to the point was the burn Wallflower had elbowed. The girl wore a guilty look, and Applejack smiled gently. “Don’t fret, you just zinged me a little. It’ll be fine in a jiffy.”
“Let’s make it half a jiffy,” Adagio purred. She leaned in towards the wound, tongue long and low for a lick Applejack averted with a warding hand.
“Whoa now, honey-bun!” Applejack laughed. “Y’all have to buy me dinner, first.”
A joke, at least to Applejack. Adagio formed a thin smile and traded a glance with Sunset.
“Is that all I need?” Adagio asked sweetly.
Just Adagio being Adagio… somehow, it didn’t seem funny this time. Strange anger burst in Sunset’s gut, but she firmly kept it from her voice. “Lay off.”
Applejack’s eyes had already returned to the game. “Relax, Sunny. She’s just funnin’ around.”
The siren gave a wince, unnoticed by all but Sunset. The pair swapped another even look before Adagio airily shook her curls. “Applejack doesn’t need you to be her bodyguard. Not with these big, strong muscles...”
She stroked both hands around Applejack’s biceps, which proved a more acceptable touch. Applejack’s only reaction was a goofy grin as she twirled the controller with her other hand… making the on-screen Star Swirl cook a steak. Pillar Party was weird.
A particularly light stroke drew a giggle from Applejack, and shake of the head. “Daj?”
“Yes?” came the honeyed response.
“Actually, all y’all.” With the steak-cooking ended, Applejack settled back on the couch. Her gaze turned to the side, and a twisting half-smile fought down the grin. “You guys… heck, this is weird. I hear y’all talking about how strong ‘n dependable I am, and I want to thank you for… making me that way.”
She gave a tilting little laugh. “Fact of the matter is, I’m not strong like you guys think I am. I get days and nights, you know? Hard to get out of bed. Hard to eat, or… care. Hard to sleep, thinking of how I gotta change so I can get pretty like real girls.”
“Holy shit, Applejack...” Sunset reached for a shoulder, and Adagio’s fingers ceased their caress for a warm squeeze.
“No pity party!” Applejack said sharply, though she did accept Sunset’s hand. “I’m going somewhere with this, I swear. I take meds when it gets bad, alright? And let me be honest, I only joined this monster shindig to keep y’all out of trouble. But ever since we started, it ain’t never gotten bad again. Maybe it’s because I know I’m protecting you all, maybe there’s something to that ‘big damn hero’ bit Miss Readheart rambled about. But I feel good being here, with all y’all.”
“Especially you, Daj!” The words drew a bright smile before the kicker brought it closed. “Well, especially all y’all, but you, Adagio, are the happy surprise. We have a mighty unneighborly history between us, and I’m glad to leave it in the past. You’re a good friend.”
Adagio took a second to respond, smiling with one side of her face. “Thank you.”
“We’re always here for you,” Sunset promised, and the others nodded.
“Quite.” Adagio stood, and slipped away from the sofa. Her eyes lingered coolly on Sunset. “I’m going for snacks. Feel free to take my seat, next to her.”
The others persisted with their encouragement, and after about three more reassurances from Applejack, they resumed their play. Time passed and they completed the game, with Adagio still not returned to the gathering. The gamers looked to find her emerging from her bedroom with a small case and enigmatic smirk.
“Because we’re all feeling sappy today...” She hiccuped, and carefully produced a violin from the case. “And rightfully self-congratulatory. And to be honest, a little drunk because I’d never do this sober… let me show you what I composed for my music class. It will get me an ‘A,’ and nothing else because no one cares about violin music these days. But it’s beautiful, and I want to play it for an audience more than once.”
Classic violin was far outside their interests, but none were crass enough to refuse. They watched as Adagio’s bow touched the strings without a single printed note to guide her. She sawed it gently across, back and forth…
They knew enough about violins to know she was good. Of course she was good, she was a siren. The normally high hum of a violin came low and melancholic from her hands. Long, uneven strokes somehow produced both melody and harmony, weaving disparate tones into a majestic whole.
Good, even great, if not perfect. A stray squeak or mistimed stroke came now and then, each one sending a flash of frustration to Adagio’s face. Her brow furrowed, then relaxed into a strange expression of solemn joy as the song went on.
Not perfect. But a thing of beauty, regardless of individual taste. Sunset fancied herself afloat amidst the peaceful music. She smiled sleepily, letting her heart rise up and down with the turning of the bow. Idle imagination bid her see the sound itself in the air, and she followed its spiraling waves to wherever they might lead.
Perhaps inevitably, they brought her to Applejack. Strong despite her weaknesses… no, stronger than her weakness. Always so caring, so loving. The crystal green eyes watched Adagio above their contented smile. And those ruddy cheeks and freckles…
The word ‘kissable’ came to mind, and Sunset didn’t run away. Her eyes traced the thick outlines beneath the sleeves and shirt, fancying how warm and heavy the arms would feel around her shoulders, how safe she would feel encompassed by their grip.
She was attracted. This wasn’t a passing whim at all, and Sunset felt vaguely proud. She could do right by Applejack. She could–
The green gaze moved to Sunset, and Sunset snapped hers away.
Later. She could broach it later.
The music ended. The tiny audience clapped with enthusiasm and broad grins. Twilight even had tears in her eyes.
Adagio bowed, but it was a halfhearted one beneath her wistful frown.
“You should have heard me in my prime,” she said, cutting down the applause. “More than anything, we sirens are creatures of music. It was our lives, our beings. Our magic itself would write the songs and our voices would follow, inspiring whole cultures to take up drum and flute. Proud kings would weep, and cold queens would love. It was Mother Hydra who wrote the first song, from which all else flow. We sirens were to keep the inspiration forever alive, lest music fall to rot and decadence.”
Adagio turned away. The violin slid quietly from her shoulder. “Perfect beauty and perfect music. We forgot these things were only given to us so that we might inspire. Instead we decided all others were ugly, their songs tin, their brains stupid. What better for us to do than play with them, master them, break them?”
A long, shuddering sigh. Sunset was already getting to her feet. “It doesn’t really matter, but Mother… she wouldn’t much care for me now.”
Yellow arms embraced her from behind. Sunset had no words, but she was there. Strong, peach-colored arms fell over them, then from each side came skinny sets of green and purple.
“We love you, Daj.” The words from Applejack brought only a frowning twist to Adagio’s face.
Adagio grumbled, slowing rising to her norm. “I killed the party.”
“Not yet, I think there’s still something we can do,” Sunset offered. “In Equestria, when ponies want to spend time together but aren’t feeling happy, they sometimes find a couch or bed and just cuddle for a while. Platonically, of course. Just lie down and be there for each other.”
She reddened as the others looked to her. “There’s nuzzling, but I think we can skip that for our first time.”
“Sounds nice.” Twilight fidgeted and giggled. “Touch is an important part of companionship. Modern society has just forgotten.”
The rest agreed, albeit with a stern warning from Applejack. “I have a big, sturdy bed for it. But no getting handsy, you hear?”
“Yeah, Wallflower: no getting handsy.” Adagio gave an innocent pout. All trace of sadness was gone, leaving her with bright eyes and silken voice as she followed them to the bedroom. “Me? I shall be such a model as to bring blush to Chastity herself.”
Author's Note
The cuddle-pile broke up five minutes later when Adagio got handsy, but that reclaimed the mood enough for them to keep playing video games and partying until they passed out on the couch, ironically forming a similar cuddle-pile.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
A LiTTle MadneSs NOW aND THeN
It felt strange to walk on human legs. Not the good kind of strange, like maple syrup rain or a well-done subversion. No, this was an unpleasant and unfamiliar irritation. Like that pink alicorn with the baby. Or conjunctivitis.
Earth held no appeal for Discord. There was doubtless fun to be had, a mere finger-snap away, but such would advertise his presence and that would not do. Besides, he had grown bored of mere panic ages ago, and panic would be inevitable from the magic-blind humans.
Business, not pleasure. What a strange thought. He crossed the black street to yet another gray sidewalk, consoling himself with the promise that he would definitely eat Luna’s mane tonight. She made such delightful noises when he did, whereas old stick-in-the-mud Sunbutt merely smiled and held court bald. Spoilsport.
He came to the address in the school’s directory, though truth be told he picked it out from a block away. Orange and purple polka dots splattered the house from its foundations to the high-peaked roof. Bizarre eccentricity to most, lame overcompensation to Discord. But at least his suit was lovely, with its mismatched legs and checkered jacket. It got a few stares on the sidewalk, and he embraced the tiny chaos with a snaggle-tooth smirk.
Three hopping steps carried him up to the porch. Unwilling to give the inhabitant the satisfaction of ringing the doubtless-rigged doorbell, he gave three solid knocks upon the wood. He was rewarded – or punished – by the turning of a lock on the other side, followed by the door opening.
They gauged each other, with the screen still between them. The next moments might not be pleasant, but at least they would be spent in handsome company. Gray face, gold and red eyes, and dashing checkered suit. Discord quietly noted their outfits to have reversed colors, with green where there was orange, and so forth. A nice touch, even though both gave their appraisal with a guarded frown.
The cold war ended with a grumble from the other side. “Alright, which Discord are you? And please tell me you’re not one of the stupid ones.”
“From Equestria, brother of mine.” Discord tipped his hat, though his smile thinned as the other gave an obvious groan.
“Oh God, a reformed one. Shoot me now.”
“Wouldn’t do much good, I’m afraid,” Discord said cheekily. If they couldn’t be cordial, at least he could be annoying. “Unless this world’s mundane tendencies are so terrible as to rob you of all magic.”
“Not entirely.” The Discord of Earth shrugged and pushed open the screen door. “I’ve enough strength to live, and to watch the chaos of the world decay into bland mediocrity and cat pictures. Come in, come in. I’ve not nearly enough aggravation in my life.”
Discord–
Earth’s Discord slapped up a hand. “Actually, wait. Why don’t we call you ‘Discord’ for the duration of the conversation, and me, ‘Mister D?’”
“Why that?”
A sharp grin spread across Mister D’s face. “Nothing of import, just a little game. Like football, you know? Set up two teams and have them go at it.”
A story was there, of course, but Discord didn’t bite. He followed as they made their way to the living room, bringing the chat to its previous concern. “If it helps, unchecked power isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I spent a thousand years as mad god of my world. Twenty of them were fun. The rest was alternating busywork and skull-crushing boredom. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but getting turned to stone was the highlight of my millennium.”
“I have no need of your sympathy.” Mister D expertly tossed his hat onto a clothing peg and flopped down on a chair. An end-table walked towards him on its wooden legs, presenting a brandy bottle which he irately snatched up. “In fact, you have mine. An emasculated manservant, made bitch by those you once ruled and willfully chained by soft and idiotic sympathies.”
He drank from the bottle, then gagged and belched soap bubbles. Discord tittered lightly, relishing the glare as he sipped from an identical one. “You are small-minded, as I used to be. Is it not more chaotic to mix integrity with maliciousness, or stability with madness? Even unrelenting chaos grows dull for its paradoxical consistency without a touch of kindness mingled in. The inability to control everything adds delightful uncertainty to my life, and I relish it.”
Mister D rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing more pathetic than a redeemed ex-villain trying to act cool. Like Sunset Shimmer, ‘Ooh, look at me, I wear black leather and kill monsters, I’m so edgy.’”
Discord smirked. “Said the jaded prick.”
“Said the tea-party goer.”
“Fun as this is, I did come for a reason besides enjoying your wonderful company.” Discord offered the bottle, and it was grabbed from his hands. He settled onto a chair, smiling winningly to his host. “Reformed, unreformed… even neither in the case of the illustrious Captain Goodguy , we alternate Discords have a great deal more in common than opposed. One of these is the implications of our very appearance. With the Realm of Chaos at our beck and call, there is simply no reason for us to enter the considerably duller material worlds unless we have a purpose in mind. It can be as large a purpose as conquering all life, or as small a one as hearing that two Celestias are in one place and wondering if such a horror could be.”
Discord sipped from the prank bottle, then slowly poked out a large bubble with his tongue and let it drift to the air. “So when I heard you were up and about, I asked myself, ‘Self, what’s old Mister D up to?’ What indeed.”
Mister D gave Discord a half-lidded stare. “I’m curious when it was ever the business of one Discord to meddle with another.”
“That’s the joy of being a redeemed ex-villain trying to act cool,” Discord snickered. “It doesn’t have to be my business. I’m sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, and I don’t care.”
“You said it yourself earlier,” Mister D said. “Busywork. I’m creating chaos, and you can’t rightly blame me for that.”
“I can if your chaos has you recreating my mistake, or else brings about an apocalypse such that you’ll be left alone in the sandbox. So… what do you want?”
Mister D gave an abrupt chortle, his grumpiness falling to amused glee. He grabbed two smaller objects from the end-table – Power Pillar action figures, that he promptly began smashing into each other. The words came in a distracted babble. “You know what I really want? I want to see a real, honest-to-goodness Kaiju monster battle. Like in the movies… all the real, lovely chaos these poor humans have is their movies. Skyscraper creatures going at it in a mountain-sized throw-down. Just once before this world ends. But where would they come from, why would they fight? This poor, gray, boring world… why can’t it have a little fun?”
“You’re acting for the world’s sake?” Discord raised an eyebrow, drawing a dismissive snort.
“No, of course not. Many would die, but I’d love it.”
“Mister D...”
“I’m bringing chaos, Discord. Good or evil, it’s what we do. Will you stop me?”
Discord did not respond right away. He took another slow drink and swished it around in his mouth. Then he held one nostril shut and blew, sending a bubble floating out from the other.
“That’s another thing about Discords,” he said slowly, sucking the bubble back in. “Folks see us and mistake eccentricity for stupidity. We’re smarter than we appear. So let me answer your question with a question: is it too late?”
Mister D looked surprised for just one instant before a broad smile grew across his face. “Smarter, indeed. Reformation has not dulled your senses, even if it turned them to obnoxious ends.”
He leaned back in his chair, changing his Power Pillars battle to one of faces pressed to each other. Flash Magnus-slash-Rockhoof shippers would be thrilled. “We spread chaos, and in this magic-starved world, I spread it with words and whispers already spoken. Everything is in the hands of others, now. Nothing more for me to do but get my popcorn and watch the movie.”
“What’s your goal, then?”
“Oh, what do you think?” Mister D righted himself, and abruptly tossed the toys over his shoulder. “Did you have a goal, back before you were gimped? Do you have one now, or can you think of any of us who do? Entertainment is the goal. Perhaps if I pondered hard I could find some villainous justification, but I don’t need an excuse any more than you do.”
“Share the details?” Discord wheedled, but earned only a snort.
“Nobody likes spoilers. But if it makes you happy, I have no ambitions to rule the world, and none to destroy it. Truth be told...”
And with that, Mister D quivered and giggled. “I don’t know what will happen. Perhaps everything will fizzle, or that sphinx Miss Shimmer is about to find will end her prematurely. Anticipation! You know that feeling. You said it yourself, uncertainty makes it all more fun.”
“Quite so.” Discord stood, and righted the hat on his head. “In fact, I think I’ll find a role for myself in your little movie.”
Mister D sneered. “Want to tip things for the heroes?”
A sidelong look accompanied Discord's response. “Want to balance you out. Or do you really expect me to believe you'll sit out if things don't prove as chaotic as you hoped?”
“Well played!” Mister D raised a hand in salute, smirking unrepentantly to the side. “A plot twist, all part of the fun. But get you gone, for now. I have papers to grade, and you well know what happens when beings of chaos such as we spend too much time together.”
He mimed an explosion with his arms, not that he needed to. The pair shook hands, smiling with equal parts challenge and feigned politeness. Discord snapped his fingers and vanished… and after a moment’s thought, Mister D did the same.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Straw colored bricks surrounded Twilight Sparkle – darkened, dusty reminders of how far beneath the Earth she had come. Images on the left wall caught her eye, and she gestured for her only companion to turn towards it. Hand-length helicopter blades changed their hum, playing the flashlight of the tiny drone upon carved words and pictures.
Egyptian hieroglyphs, complete with the usual mess of drawn gods and chariots. Not useful. Twilight was a genius by every stretch, but the study of dead languages had never quite made her interest.
...Maybe that should change. The frat house of horror back in September had a Sumerian name, probably originating with its ghoul founders. That made this the second time helpful clues were likely passing under Twilight’s nose.
Unacceptable, for a genius to miss such things. Both languages were definitely on the docket for her summer reading.
No help for it. She resumed her trod, one dusty, crumbling stair at a time. Downwards, alone into the darkness.
The stairs evened into a cold stone floor. The hard light from her drone illuminated pillars to each side, but failed to find the edge of the room her trail had led her to. Nothing could even be seen in front save a giant statue, murky and indistinct beyond the flashlight’s range.
As Twilight stepped between the pillars, the sound of bursting flame to each side caused her to stumble and fall. Braziers at the pillars’ heads caught flame, then the same emerged from another set some space into the distance. Bright enough to illuminate the sides of the massive cavern…
...No, the massive tomb. Gold-plated sarcophagi laid along the perimeter, each one atop mounds of priceless treasure: ancient coins, blue-wrapped scepters, and sapphire jewels. The new lights gave greater vision to the statue as well, showing its appearance to be of a feline sitting with extended paws.
The paws moved. Twilight’s eyes shot wide as a third set of braziers ignited, revealing the ‘statue’ in all its glory. Claws larger than Twilight lazily flexed from mitt and body covered with maroon fur. Her gaze moved upwards, trailing its jewelry and pink chest to find the mouth of sharp grinning teeth, and yellow eyes fixed solely upon her.
The voice that emerged was throaty and female, though loud enough that Twilight felt the ground twitch beneath her. “Well, well, well, what have we here? The last of the grave robbers, I expect.”
A wing swung out from the being’s side, and its grin snaked upwards as Twilight followed the point to four standing, open sarcophagi in a desolate corner. Each held a mummy calling helplessly through its gag, and wrestling uselessly with its bonds. One was tall and wore a cowboy hat; another, shrimpy and small. Red and orange hair leaked out of the wrappings of the other two.
Twilight’s eyes kept moving, and blinked a little wider as they found a fifth sarcophagus. Open, empty, and waiting.
“We’re not grave robbers,” Twilight said. The words rallied her a little bit. She stood slowly, willing her expression to one of arrogant nerdy indifference.
“So you say.” The sphinx rose and arched its back, never moving the yellow gaze.
“I’m serious,” Twilight offered stoically. She dusted the sand from her rump and pushed up her glasses, hiding her eyes behind their flare. “My experimental underground magic sensor–”
The sphinx tilted its head cat-like, the wicked grin replaced with mild confusion.
“–detected an anomaly in this area. We were only exploring to see if you were a threat to Canterlot City. If you’re not, I’d like to collect my friends and go.”
The grin returned, seemingly sharper than ever. The sphinx stepped forward to loom even higher above Twilight. “You lie, little one, intentionally or not. One of your friends couldn’t even wait for the braziers to light before making to seize the wedding necklace of Pharoh Rakon.”
“Which fOh, God damn it, Adagio.” Twilight glared daggers to where the newly-wrapped mummies stood. She gave her ponytail a good yank, thinking and glaring before returning to the sphinx. “I’m sorry about her. But I guarantee that wasn’t our objective. What can we do to work this out?”
Again came a head-tilt, though this was accompanied by a humored smirk. “You can enter your sarcophagus and save me the trouble.”
“Look, I’m not an idiot. I told another hunter team where I was going.” Twilight peered over the top of her glasses. “They’re better at this than we are, and they won’t let you off easy. Let’s make a deal. I can provide some cutting-edge security measures for this tomb in exchange for our freedom.”
“My security seems entirely sufficient, thank you.” The sphinx yet smiled, but the expression had turned coy. It paced to the side, tail waving slowly like a cat about to pounce. “I am not afraid of your reinforcements. However, I do wonder who they might tell, themselves. Secrecy is all I crave for this place, and if rumors spread of its true nature I shall be inundated with thieves. You may leave with your friends, so long as you vow silence of all here and make no further attempts upon its wealth...”
The sphinx leaned close, its breath a conspiratorial whisper that smelled vaguely of fish. “...If you prove yourself worthy. Three riddles. Pass them all, and free your friends. Fail, and join them.”
“Riddles.” Twilight shuffled, then raised one finger. “Fine, but only on one condition.”
“Name it,” the sphinx said with droll amusement.
“You don’t ask me what an ancient Egyptian tomb is doing in western Oregon.”
Nonplussed for a moment, the sphinx blinked and pawed at its headdress before offering a shrug. “Agreed.”
It turned around, chuckling mysteriously as it paced down the room. Its tail brushed gently to Twilight’s side, even that so huge as to knock her to the floor. “Listen carefully, little one. For as I wandered the desert one day, I saw three camels. One with one hump, one with two, and one with three humps! But how is it that a camel of Egypt, which only ever carry one or two on their back, might have a third hump?”
“One or two...” Twilight grumbled, trying to both think and get to her feet. She righted herself, then righted her glasses. “Humps… stupid word-plays. Can I use my phone?”
“What’s a phone?” the sphinx asked, turning back with curious eyes.
Twilight met the gaze.
Then hid her mouth with a cough. She held her purple phone up for the sphinx to see. “It’s a… prayer-brick. I… touch it and tap it, which my people believe sends vibrations to our god that he can hear and understand. I use it to pray for inspiration.”
“The gods are greedy and destructive.” The sphinx licked the top of its paw and shrugged again. “Go ahead, but I bear no responsibility for the consequences of their attention.”
“Great, thanks!” Twilight’s thumbs were already in motion as she turned around and hunched the phone from view. A distinct tic-tacing emerged, echoing through the massive space. Even the prisoners halted their struggle in confusion at the familiar noise.
Twilight spun back, triumphant. “Pregnant! The third camel was pregnant!”
“Correct,” the sphinx said, its expression settling to a challenged smirk. “But you have two yet before you, and here is the second: A man was born before his father, killed his mother, and married his sister. Yet he bears no sin for any of this! Explain.”
Again, Twilight turned and hunched. Again came the tic-tacing, and this time the sphinx’s ears rose with the noise. It crept closer, nosing curiously towards the phone, but caught no glimpse before Twilight turned back.
“The father faced the baby when he was born – hence, the man emerged ‘before’ his father. The mother died in childbirth. The man grew up to be a priest or other officiant, and so ‘married’ his sister to someone else.”
“Very good.” The sphinx stretched the last word into a purr. It poked its tongue out a little and wiggled slightly. “Very good indeed. I have never gotten this far, yet I half-fear you have run out of luck. The gods themselves do not know my final riddle. Your little prayer brick will give you no answers. Take a moment to prepare yourself, for there will be no going back once we begin.”
A nervous chuckle fled Twilight’s mouth. She clicked a button on her phone, then clicked it again. “Not much else to prepare. I have a strong signal.”
“A what?”
Twilight shook her head. “Nothing. Hit me.”
The sphinx’s eyes went wide. A befuddled frown took place on its mouth, and a shrug followed. It raised a paw the size of a Buick and–
“DON’T ACTUALLY HIT ME!” Twilight screamed as its descent was halfway complete. “It was a figure of speech!”
“Ah. Yes, that makes more sense.” The sphinx gave a gentle cough. “Very well, then.”
Its voice took an ethereal, rumbling quality. “Here it is, the Final Riddle: I have a place within everything. I begin eternity, and begin each end...”
A look of mixed shock and annoyance crossed Twilight’s face.
“I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. I am found in all matter on Earth, and I am at the end of time and space. What am–”
“E!” Twilight shouted, her indignation consuming all sense of triumph. “The letter E! This is the final riddle?”
The sphinx leaned back slightly from the outburst. It sat down, voice downcast and tail twitching nervously. “N...not even the gods know it.”
“EVERYONE knows it!” Twilight threw out her arms. “I mean, what is an ancient Egyptian sphinx even doing telling riddles about the English language?”
“None of your business,” the sphinx mumbled sulkily.
“It…!” But Twilight caught herself. She took a deep breath in, and let it out with a wave.
“You’re right,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. This has been a very illogical day, that frustrates me, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’ll collect my friends and go, and… yeah, I’ll send you some of my security inventions as an apology. I hope they help.”
The sphinx recovered as well, perching regally in the far corner from the prisoners. “Accepted. Take them and go, and remember to hold this place in secret.”
Twilight wasted no time. She ripped down the wrappings with her scalpel, freeing Sunset, then Adagio and Applejack. The four of them departed, chattering happily with relief as they crossed the room towards the entryway.
Then they ran back to free Wallflower, and the five began their climb from the tomb.
Adagio sped a little to get ahead of the group, putting her ascending butt on level with Applejack’s eyes. A glance back showed the farmer’s attention to the side instead as she gave effusive praise to the blushing Twilight.
The siren shrugged and reached into her pocket. “Successful hunt, after a fashion. Let’s hit a steakhouse and celebrate. My treat.”
She pulled out four coins stamped with a pharoh’s head, tossed them expertly to the air, then snatched them all mid-fall. “Payday. While you guys went back for Wallflower...”
And with that, Adagio took off at a run. An echoing, furious roar sounded up from behind them, followed by the violent tremor of a beast lurching to action. The others sped in Adagio’s wake – Applejack with one hand on her hat, Sunset dragging the slower Wallflower along, and all screaming at the top of their lungs.
Author's Note
They escaped. Later, Twilight returned the coins via drone, which also carried information on how she’d help improve the tomb’s security. The sphinx would ultimately accept, though the drone would be a casualty of the negotiations.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Early December, approaching midnight. According to Sunset’s weather app, a blizzard now raged outside and would do so until morning.
She clicked off her phone and rolled lazily onto her belly. Sunglasses on, and all skin exposed save that beneath her swimsuit. Sunset folded her arms downwards, propping herself up to take in the sights – splashing and laughter, and screams from the giant slides. Blue pool-water sparkled in the Caribbean light, and balmy heat enveloped her toes as she wiggled them carelessly to the air.
“Pinkie?” Sunset said in a groggy tone. The late hour was finally lulling her to sleep, and she had no plans to move if it happened. “You knocked this one out of the park.”
Corralled and organized by their resident party planner, the Rainbooms made a point of gathering at least once a month to keep their friendship strong amid the rigors of college. Sometimes they went to Dash’s soccer games, or jammed some of their old songs. This time, Pinkie had scored basement-bargain weekend passes to Eternal Sun, a combination hotel and water park that maintained summertime light and temperatures every hour of the day.
Rarity lounged on the beach chair next to Sunset’s and pointed. “Darling, she’s over there.”
So she was. Sunset’s heat-soothed mind had somehow missed Pinkie’s giggling antics atop a foam log as she and Fluttershy jumped and dashed in a mad effort to throw the other off. A surprisingly close match: Pinkie was easily more nimble, but her chaotic movements left her badly unbalanced. It seemed almost inevitable when she launched herself into the drink, cheering all the while.
“Remind me to thank her.” Sunset lurched to a sitting position and took another sip from her iced coffee. Sleep could wait, with this paradise ending tomorrow. “It’s still snowing outside. I had to stamp it off when I came in, and my socks were wet on top of everything. Hemline boots don’t keep out the slush very well.”
“Mine will.” Rarity gave an assured smile, though quickly withdrew it. “If Miss Hemline has me designing boots, that is. She’s paying for my college, you know, so it’ll be ‘yes ma’am, no ma’am’ for at least three years after. Foot in the door, etcetera. But all the same, fashionable or no, the least a boot can do is keep out the slush.”
She paused. Long lashes blinked once. “Unless they’re open-toed boots, I suppose. Bit of an untapped market… hm, where’s my notebook?”
Sunset smiled patiently as Rarity began sketching and mumbling sing-song nonsense as Rarities were wont to do. She let her eyes and attention drift, idly considering her next activity. Could always get a second ice cream or third dinner and resume her poolside relaxation. Could also take a swim, or go for…
Applejack. Walking towards them with slapping wet steps upon the warm concrete.
Sunset traced the muscles undetectably through her sunglasses before pointedly reminding herself it was a damn creepy thing to do to a friend. And odd. Their communal living meant Sunset had gotten accidental eyefuls well beyond what AJ’s conservative orange swimsuit allowed. But Applejack was shy about disrobing, and making something of those eyefuls seemed like an easy way to crack their friendship.
Here and now, though, it seemed a knock of opportunity. No one made Applejack come to the resort, and no one made her expose those beautiful bronzed legs. The lazy heat encouraged playfulness and relaxation… what better time to launch a flare? With their finals scant weeks away and winter break right after, this might be Sunset’s last chance of the year. Nothing aggressive, just a few hints to put it in AJ’s mind. Then maybe they could find a quiet spot and talk…
There was Rarity, giving Sunset a raised eyebrow and grin. Rarities could sense thoughts like these. Sunset smiled back nervously and stood to greet Applejack. She sauntered forwards, leading with the hips while praying it came off as a sexy strut instead of waddling penguin.
“Howdy partner,” Applejack called, her wide green eyes locking Sunset’s gaze.
And, apparently, her brain. “Hi AJ! Your weather looks body in this great.”
Silence fell as Applejack’s grin shrank. Rarity buried her face in the notebook, while Sunset quietly contemplated that this was fine, she just had to lock herself in Celestia’s basement for the rest of her life.
“Y...yeah, ha-ha, good one.” Applejack’s confused words of encouragement only prolonged Sunset’s torture.
Sunset shook her head hard, desperately rallying. “No, what I meant was–”
“My dudes!” Rainbow’s voice sounded in advance of her arrival, jogging up with Twilight in tow. A slim blue arm wrapped around AJ and Sunset’s shoulders. “We have to ride the Daybreaker before we go. I looked it up, it’s the biggest water slide in the state! A twelve-story drop of terror, ready and waiting!”
Said water slide loomed into the artificial blue sky, decorated with enough flames and skulls to drive any eight year-old boy wild. Ironic, given the age requirement to ride. Sunset followed the slide upwards with her eyes, higher – and higher – along the very vertical path to the top.
A weight lodged into her throat, and she swallowed it down with a sizable gulp.
Rainbow ticked off on her fingers. “I got Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie in on it. Come on, let’s make this the big Rainboom climax of the weekend. Don’t be scared.”
“Pass,” Rarity said smoothly. “I’ll get a salad and cheer you from here.”
Sunset wasn’t afraid of heights, but a twelve-story demon drop crossed the line. She opened her mouth to decline…
Applejack gave a hearty laugh and slapped Rainbow on the back. “Scared of that little thing? I’m in.”
An audible click sounded as Sunset’s teeth snapped closed into a grin. “Yeah, me too.”
“Sweet! Wait here and I’ll wrangle the others.” Rainbow took off, leaving Sunset chewing a nail and tracing their oncoming descent once more. An open topped slide, at that height? How was that legal?
Something had come through in her expression. A peach-colored hand grasped her shoulder, accompanied by a soft twang. “Y’all don’t have to do it.”
Applejack’s hand was like sandpaper, but felt warm and comforting on Sunset’s skin. Enough so to ease out the panic. Sunset found Applejack’s green, accepting gaze, and released a sigh. “I’m such a wuss.”
“Said the girl who hunts vampires,” came the needed reminder. Applejack gave the arm an extra squeeze and let go. “Stay here and tell me who screams the loudest. First pick ‘o the orchard says it’s Rainbow.”
Sunset winced, red-faced and casting her eyes to the side. “Rainbow… what am I going to tell her?”
“That you ain’t going and that’s that,” Applejack said steadily. “You’re better than fine, girl. This don’t change nothing.”
The sandpaper hands reached forward and gripped Sunset’s fingers. She gripped them back, still blushing. She played her thumb across Applejack’s knuckles and looked up into the beautiful green eyes.
Then she leaned in and brushed a kiss on a freckled cheek, not quite realizing it until after the fact.
Sunset retreated with a frantic laugh. “For luck! That’s all.”
A ‘tsk’ sounded from behind Rarity’s notebook. Applejack smiled hesitantly, scratching at the touch. “Mighty neighborly of–”
“All here!” Rainbow dashed between them once more, almost skidding into the pool as she bounced with excitement. “Come on, let’s show Daybreaker how the Rainbooms do it! Minus Rarity.”
“And Sunset,” Applejack mumbled, prying her gaze away.
“And Sunset.” Rainbow accepted the correction, already hustling to the slide at a pace calculated to just barely accommodate the ‘no running’ signs. “Snap a picture! I’m gonna be throwing the horns!”
The rest followed: Pinkie as exuberant as Rainbow, Fluttershy smiling with meek anticipation, Twilight on her (waterproof) phone… and Applejack, glancing back to Sunset.
Their eyes met once more. The confused smile on Applejack’s face creased to something a bit more mischievous, then curled and pushed as she kissed the air.
Daybreaker looked menacing from a distance. Closer, even more so. Giant red warning signs announced cautions and rules, governing everything from the lengthy climb to the actual boarding of the slide. Visitors dropped in scheduled pods, each one accompanied by speakers booming crazed, prerecorded laughter that sounded eerily like Sunset’s mom.
The laughter sounded as the group neared the top, flushing a set of guests down the three-minute plunge. Applejack shivered, peered over the side, and shivered again. ‘Twelve stories’ was a mighty small phrase for a mighty long distance.
Fluttershy and even Pinkie looked to be having second thoughts. Twilight had made her phone disappear before the staff caught her. Her arms folded impassively, though chewed purple nails scratched nervously at their elbows.
Rainbow’s voice cracked, a sure sign her confidence-to-bravado ratio was beginning to favor the latter. “So we’re all gonna shout, ‘Rainbooms!’ and throw up the horns. We have to lie down which is lame but I think Rariset will be able to catch our faces because it goes uuuuuuUUUH like straight down OhMyGosh it’s going to be so… awesome yeah I love this... yeah...”
“Next!”
They assembled, lying side-by-side in slanted tubes with their feet resting on a hinged wall. A timer above their heads helpfully ticked to the moment the wall would slide from their feet. Ten… nine…
“See y’all at the bottom,” Applejack called, keeping her own nerves firmly from her voice.
“Scared? Who’s scared?” Rainbow squeaked. “Not me!”
Three… two…
Twilight’s nasal voice carried over from Applejack’s left. “There’s nothing to be scared of. Only twenty-four people have died this year on water slides. That’s down from last year.”
...Zero.
The wall fell from Applejack’s soles. Prone and tilted, she had nothing left to block gravity’s pull. She could see the bright blue of the fake sky, and the plastic of the slide vanish from sight just a few meters to the fore. Past there came the drop…
Eyes unblinking, mouths tight, and ears ringing with Twilight’s words and the speakers’ laughter, the Rainbooms fell in synchronized silence.
The journey was eternal, and an instant. Applejack willed herself to close her eyes, but found she could not. Even as the initial plunge began to level out, her fists remained clenched. She forgot to breathe until pain found her lungs. The ground came mercifully closer with every instant. She prayed that the end would be swift and painless.
She chided herself, ‘I’ve tangled with gosh-dang gargoyles.’ It didn’t help. The receiving pool came to sight, and still she remained rigid.
Cool, deep water received her, slowing and arresting her momentum. Her head passed beneath its surface. She had survived.
The five regrouped and began paddling stiffly to the far end of the pool. Sunset cheered from its edge, while Rarity waved daintily over her salad.
“So awesome!” Rainbow’s voice cracked so badly she was hard to understand. “And I wasn’t scared at all.”
“You’re so brave.” Fluttershy swam low in the water, her voluminous hair pooling out like pink algae.
“Brave.” Applejack hid a quiet smirk and raised her voice. “Heck, Rainbow, let’s do it again.”
A guilty, gleeful twitch entered her smile as Rainbow stared back in horror for one second before recovering. “Nah, it’d lessen the awesomeness to go on multiple times. Besides, it‘s midnight. I’m tired.”
She yawned, loud enough to ensure everyone could hear how tired she was. Applejack chuckled, but her blood ran cold as Pinkie chimed in from the side.
“I’ll ride with you, AJ!”
“No thanks, sugar.” Applejack coughed into the water, then gave her own loud yawn. “I’m ready to hit the hay, myself. Gonna be an early morning to make the checkout time. Happy Monday.”
“At least we don’t have class,” Twilight said.
The pooling of Fluttershy’s hair fell back as she raised her head from the waterline. “Monday? I thought it was Sunday.”
Fluttershy halted her swim abruptly, causing the rest to follow suit. Her gaze shot between the others, eyes widening with each answered look of confusion.
Rainbow gave voice to the group. “Yesterday was Sunday. We’re past midnight so it’s technically Monday now. It’s a holiday weekend so we’ll have the day to recover.”
“Oh, no.” Fluttershy trembled hard enough to send her teeth chattering. Her surprise morphed to an expression of terror. “I lost track. You all have to run.”
“You can’t run in water, silly,” Pinkie giggled.
“Then swim!” Fluttershy screeched. “It’s a full moon, I can’t c… control...”
The rest was lost into a low, bestial groan. Fluttershy thrashed and jerked. Her face grayed and fattened, and a dark mass became visible where her legs should be.
“I don’t want to hurt–”
Her last warning cut off as she plunged downwards. The dark mass widened and grew, its spasms coming to an end as the transformation took hold.
The others stared.
The mass beneath their feet began to ascend.
“Run!” Applejack shouted.
“I told you, we can’t run in water.”
“Pinkie, now ain’t the–”
Gray, huge, and wrinkled, the transformed Fluttershy burst into their midst with a moist roar. Whiskers bristled below two bright blue eyes as she roared again, flapping her stubby fins to the air.
Her emergence sent a tidal wave over the others, scattering them to each side. The manatee spun, moaning and gnashing hungrily as the Rainbooms swam frantically for the pool’s edge.
“Fluttershy, chill!” Rainbow screeched.
Sunset called out from her post on the shore. “No good! It’s a full moon, which means her were-manatee side has completely taken over. She’s a ravenous beast now!”
“Ravenous!?” Rainbow reached the edge first, though swam back to put herself between Pinkie and Fluttershy. “What do manatees eat?”
Sunset raised a finger and opened her mouth… then closed it. Her eyes found Twilight at the pool’s edge, who offered a shrug in response.
The two pulled out their cellphones and began tic-tacing away.
The manatee swam in a few rapid circles, its bright eyes casting every which way. Finally, it stopped its gaze upon Rarity – then drifted down to the salad in her lap.
An eager snuffling noise came as the manatee surged towards her. Rarity screamed, paralyzed with fear upon her beach chair.
The manatee grew closer, and Rarity screamed.
It reached the pool edge, unable to arrest its momentum before bonking its nose to the wall. Rarity screamed.
It poked its head above the edge, eyes gleaming hungrily. Rarity screamed. Only two meters of flat pavement stood between her and the ravenous Fluttershy.
The head slid back into the water. The manatee backed up, wiggled its butt, and surged forwards to clear the edge. Instead it impacted the wall, earning another bonk on the nose. Rarity screamed.
The manatee tried to slide over the wall. It was able to bring its head up, but nothing more. The chubby tail worked frantically behind it, pushing to no avail as the head slipped back into the water. Rarity screamed.
“They only eat plants!” Sunset held up her phone triumphantly. Rarity screamed.
The manatee backed up for another jump. It breathed in and out steadily, its gaze upon the coming prize. It sped forwards, faster than ever. Jumped, higher than ever. Got almost half of its body onto dry land. The other half fell into the water. The manatee worked its fins, trying to cross the last of the distance. Instead, back-weight and gravity carried it inexorably backwards. The manatee redoubled its efforts upon realizing what was happening, frantically flapping its stubby fins and flipper. It lost ground slowly, tears forming in its eyes with the last desperate flaps before it sank into the pool. Rarity screamed.
The manatee’s head poked back into sight. Rarity would have screamed if Sunset had not clapped a hand over her mouth. “Rarity, stop screaming!”
Muffled sobs answered. “But she’s a sea monster and she’s going to eat me!”
“She just wants your salad!” Rainbow called out. “Come on, give it up! I mean, look at her.”
Frustrated and saddened with its goal so close and so far, the manatee stared longingly at the delicious vegetables in Rarity’s lap. The wide nostrils sniffled. Tears still rimmed the blue eyes.
Rarity stood, trembling and nervous. She gingerly approached the manatee, knelt down, and offered the salad.
The manatee sniffed once at the bowl, then plunged in its head. The sound of dull, smacking chewing emerged. It pulled back after a moment with a few stray pieces of lettuce around its smiling mouth, eyes closed and content.
Rarity gently settled her hand atop the gray head and began stroking.
“I’m going to get her another salad,” Sunset said.
Applejack gave a nod, approaching alongside the others. “I’ll chip in.”
“I’ll buy one, too,” a green woman called, approaching at a leisurely stroll. She paused shyly at the Rainboom’s quizzical looks, though her child pulled eagerly at her hand. “Ah, my name is Victoria . If the poor thing is hungry, I can help.”
“Can I pet her?” the child squeaked.
“No dear, it’s a wild animal.”
“Heh, this one’s as domesticated as they come.” Rainbow rubbed beneath Fluttershy’s chin, earning a happy mooing sound in response. “Come on, she won’t bite.”
Others gathered, chatting and pointing. A stream of volunteers brought vegetables Fluttershy readily consumed, while children hugged and put beach hats on her. Twilight took the chance to begin teaching a few lessons in ecology, and the night passed pleasantly for the next few hours until Applejack pulled Sunset to the side.
Sunset’s question died on her lips as Applejack held up a small, shredded piece of green nylon. Part of Fluttershy’s swimsuit.
“The rest must be down there.” Applejack gestured to the pool. “They’re gonna get a whole different kind of show when she changes back.”
“Towels,” Sunset said tersely. “Find some towels and start moving people away, before it’s too la–”
Author's Note
SHOO BE DOO SHOO SHOO BE DOO
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Teen Drama Takes No Holidays
The first sip of hot milk brought a contented sigh to Sunset’s lips. It was an acquired taste, certainly, but one she readily picked up from her mother. Perfect for when you wanted something hot and smooth to fight down the cold.
And cold it was. The Dali Hall’s furnace proved indifferent to the upper floors. Frost rendered the outside windows translucent, and leaked their influence into the dorm. Wallflower compensated with an extra brown sweater; Sunset, by wearing her Hemline indoors and out. Applejack wore dorky long underwear, while Adagio suffered in her belly shirts and heels.
The chill wasn’t dangerous, but it was annoying. Sunset’s pistol sat disassembled on the table, past due for some cleaning. Cool metal and wet oils were obnoxious to handle when her fingers were already cold. Hence, the warm milk and procrastination – Sunset puttered by the window, admiring the snow-clad landscape. She saw Sour Sweet building a snowman with Sugarcoat, both smiling with uncharacteristic cheer. On a more distant hill, Rarity and Rainbow descended on a wooden sled.
Peaceful. Idyllic, even, from her high perch. Sunset wrapped her fingers around the steaming mug and took another sip.
“Sunset.”
The moment couldn’t last forever. “Yeah?”
Sunset turned to find Adagio leaning out from her bedroom. “Come here.”
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
The temptation to dig in her heels was there, but that felt a bit petty. Sunset breathed out a less-contented sigh and set down her drink. She followed the siren to her room, flinching as odors of dust and old pizza found her nose.
The sight, however, was far more glamorous. A silky purple dress hung from Adagio’s closet hook, curving and twisting sultrily without even a body inside. It seemed designed to cling and wrap around the ankles, giving a slim, shimmering figure denied by more conventional clothes. Sexy, without being indecent.
Sunset gave a low whistle, her annoyance fading to admiration. “Nice, very nice. Good choice.”
“Of course it is.” Adagio sidled alongside Sunset and gently pushed her forwards. “Not your usual color, but you’ll look good in purple. Merry Christmas.”
It took Sunset a half-second to follow the words. She recoiled, hands raised. “Whoa, what? I can’t.”
“You better,” Adagio said airily. “I can’t return it, and it won’t fit me.”
Sunset folded her arms and fixed Adagio with a glare. “We had a dorm meeting about this literally last week. We – including you – agreed that we’re all more-or-less broke and shouldn’t get each other anything for Christmas.”
“I lied.” Adagio opened a box on her bed and pulled out a set of glittering purple heels. “These, too.”
“Adagio–”
“Tell me, Sunset, how shit would I have looked if after you all got done talking about skipping the gifts I said ‘No, I want you to buy me things?’”
The words bought Adagio a moment. She gently began removing the dress from its hangar, then cocked her head to the side. “Actually, I technically didn’t lie. We said we wouldn’t ‘get’ each other anything. Present or future tense. I ‘got’ you these over a month ago, right after that meetup with my sisters.”
Sunset accepted the shoes, a smile forcing its way up as she admired them. “Sure… hey, I never asked how that went.”
“And I never told,” Adagio murmured. She glanced to her nightstand, where several gleaming silver tickets remained.
The half-heard line drew Sunset’s attention. “Hm?”
“Nothing,” Adagio said. She beamed as Sunset struggled to hide her reluctant excitement. “Take it for what it is. Merry Christmas and so forth, with nothing expected in return. Now try it on. You’re wearing this to the dance, and if any part needs tailoring I’ll need to know now.”
Sunset moved as she spoke, readily disrobing into the dress. “It’s not a dance, just a holiday party-slash-reunion for Canterlot High. That’s sort of a big thing for mom: helping people keep the friendships they made, being part of the school even though you graduated, and so on.”
Adagio sucked hard on a lip. “Your mom still single?”
Sunset rotated away, allowing Adagio to pull the ties at her back. “No, she’s dating Sonata.”
Breath hissed, and Adagio froze. Sunset turned her head slowly, catching the staring siren with the corner of her grin. “Did I forget to tell you?”
Adagio released her breath, returning the grin with a humored glare. “Someone thinks she’s a comedian.”
“I wonder where I got it from.”
Adagio actually laughed out loud at that: a throaty, unrefined bark that seemed strange from her lips. She clapped a hand over her mouth, but Sunset chuckled and Adagio could not help but follow suit.
With the back ties done, Adagio commanded Sunset to turn. Sunset obeyed, bringing a suddenly grimmer face into sight. “Seriously: all joking aside, are you really planning to romance my mother?”
“Hold out your arms.” Adagio began working at the wrists, squinting critically as she spoke. “No, I just like hearing you squeak.”
She moved lower, examining the waist and ankles. Falling orange curls hid her frown from Sunset’s eyes. “What about you? Any crushes?”
The words emerged with careful disinterest. Adagio stared as the purple-clad waist shuffled uncomfortably, feigning examination as Sunset spoke. “Yeah. You know... Applejack.”
“I do know,” Adagio murmured.
Sunset chuckled and reached up to scratch the back of her head. The move would have thrown off Adagio’s measurements had she been taking any. “I thought it would pass. Just a weird gay crush that lasts exactly until the next swimmer dude catches my eye. But I’ve been feeling it for a month. I’m going to, uh, make a move pretty soon and see how things go.”
Adagio shifted lower, hiding the tight twist that came to her lips. Her eyes steeled angrily, then softened.
She opened her mouth, closed it, and tried again. “Then I have bad news.”
Face serious, she stood and looked Sunset in the eye. “Applejack and I are already an item. She wants it to be a secret and I respect that.”
Sunset sighed and looked away. Adagio swallowed hard and willed up a nervous frown. “It started recently. Jeez, and after I teased you for crushing on her… sorry. I’m shit, you know that.”
“You’re not shit,” Sunset said quickly. She gave a shaky little smile. “You’re fine, AJ’s fine, and I’m fine. Little disappointed, that’s all.”
“Just don’t bring it up,” Adagio said smoothly. “You know how she is about public affection. Now, here: get in the heels and do a pirouette for me. Let’s see how this all looks on you.”
Marvelous proved the answer. Sunset pushed her disappointment down, aided greatly by the woman in the mirror. She posed, vowing to add more purple to her wardrobe as soon as she could. The dress shimmered and gleamed, flowing down her body to end perfectly above the new heels. She really wasn’t a ‘dress’ kind of girl, but Rarity herself couldn’t have picked a better fit.
Visible in the mirror, Adagio looked on with a rare expression of kind happiness. “Note that by the chest there’s an inside pocket...”
“For my pistol!” Sunset finished, beaming with delight. She spun and caught Adagio in a hug. “This is amazing, thank you! I can’t imagine how much it cost.”
“Enough of that,” Adagio commanded, suppressing thoughts of bills and credit ratings. “It’s Christmas. But get ready to share the limelight, because I want you to send in Wallflower next…”
She trailed off, for Sunset did not release the embrace. Excitement had become tenderness. Sunset squeezed gently, happily.
Awkward and uncertain, Adagio returned the hug. She smiled, until her eyes found themselves in the mirror.
An uncomfortable feeling lodged in Adagio’s stomach as she laid out the dress meant for Wallflower. Like a wide stone. It reminded her of Sunset, and how Adagio had just lied to the girl’s face.
But that was the way of things. The way the sirens had lived ever since they abandoned Hydra. Be the predator, not the prey. Win at all costs. Friendship and trust? Tools to profit by.
Adagio had even told this to Sunset. It was how the world really worked.
...Except when it didn’t.
The feeling faded with the look in Wallflower’s eyes. Her dress was a bright, sultry red, set with sequins that drew in the gaze.
Wallflower mumbled that it would be wasted on her. Who would see?
“Everyone,” Adagio whispered, and hoped so desperately she was right. The dress (and more than a little effort on the hair) worked a transformation upon Wallflower’s figure. Petite, not scrawny. Svelte, not flat. Long white gloves and supple, shining locks.
Twilight turned beet-red and stuttered when she saw her own. Why would Adagio do this? They didn’t speak very often, or share much besides the hunting. Adagio declared that, having saved each other on said hunts, that damn well made them friends. Twilight’s dress was a deep, dark blue Adagio half-envied for herself, for it was starred with so many silver dots it reminded her of a time before the lights of cities occluded the nighttime stars. It draped and flowed around Twilight’s build, hiding her gangly figure in a shifting, flowing pool of midnight.
Adagio smiled along with her guests, finding that each exchanged word lightened the stone in her gut. A little lie… so what? She was a good person, giving her friends such gifts.
A knock sounded. Adagio’s cheer only grew.
After all, in fifteen minutes it would no longer be a lie.
“Come in,” she called.
Applejack. Criminally covered by her thick flannel shirt, but that would change.
She protested, as they all had. The dress was expensive. She didn’t get Adagio anything. Adagio countered once again that it was Christmas, and this was a gift, not an exchange.
Adagio knew her soon-to-be girlfriend was shy about exposing her body. Silly human modesty. She turned, making sure Applejack could see that she faced away during the disrobing. It was always good to be seen as empathetic and caring.
Had to turn back to get her in the dress, though. Adagio held in her leer until she got behind Applejack. The broad shoulders, the Apple-bucking thighs… strange, that Adagio had never favored such types before now. In the past it was always bored nobles, with dainty wrists and perfumed hair. Aroused by her songs, lavishing her with gifts…
...But they weren’t Applejack. Adagio had cruelly used her in high school, and then was swiftly forgiven. What’s more, she smoothed Adagio’s transition into this new circle of friends. Everything the siren had now was thanks to her.
Adagio raised an eyebrow at her own thoughts. ‘Everything she had now’ was scarcely larger than before. Same crappy dorm, same hopeless future. Same bills and debts.
Somehow, that all didn’t seem quite so bad these days.
“Don’t be checking out my backside.”
“I’m not, I just got to thinking,” Adagio said. Honestly, because Applejack had waited long enough to ask.
“What about?” Applejack turned to face, her expression absent of suspicion. Just concern. Of course.
“You.”
More honesty. Honesty made up for lies, right? “How terrible it was of me to use you in high school. Kissing you out of watches, phones...”
“Water under the bridge,” Applejack said in a solid voice.
“And how good you’ve been to me in return.” Adagio gave a warm smile. “I like being with you, Applejack.”
“You too, Daj.”
They got to the clothing. Applejack’s dress was a deep, authoritative red. Perfect for a woman of her size. Sleeveless and strapless, leaving her arms unencumbered. Gleaming sequins in its weave matched those of the low, comfortable slip-shoes.
Applejack looked into the mirror once the dress was on. She wore an uncomfortable smile, running one hand over a bare bicep. “Girl, I look like a dang gorilla. Ain’t nobody wants to see this.”
The perfect setup. Adagio passed a tongue over her teeth, grinning inside her mouth.
“I do,” the siren breathed. She swept before the mirror, settling a hand on each of the red-clad hips. She pressed close and stood on her tip-toes, moving her lips towards Applejack’s.
Applejack leaned away.
“You made that clear,” Applejack said. She stepped back.
Adagio stepped with her. “I can make it clearer.”
Heavy peach hands set themselves on Adagio’s shoulders and gently pushed. Applejack stared, earnest and concerned even behind her defense. “I don’t really want you to.”
“Let me try?” Adagio wheedled. “You want to take it slow. I respect that, and I respect you. I can be a hand-holding girlfriend until you’re ready.”
“We got a nice thing going,” Applejack said with calm inflexibility. “And we just got done telling each other that things are good between us. Can’t we keep it at that?”
“Can’t we go for more?”
“I said I don’t want to.” Applejack’s frown tightened hard on one side, giving her first sign of frustration. “I’ve had three messy breakups in three years. Then with classes, hunting, and farm work, I just don’t feel I have the time. The answer’s no. I ain’t in the market.”
One last chance, if even that. Adagio pressed close once more. She smiled – seductive, or friendly? Which would give her the better shot? “Snuggle buddies, then?”
She didn’t get past Applejack’s warding hands. The eyes were even, the twanging voice low. “You said you respected me. Don’t make me wonder if you lied.”
Shocked magenta eyes found steady green. “I didn’t,” Adagio said, retreating. Then, “I’m sorry.”
“S’okay.” Switching gears smoothly, Applejack stepped forward and wrapped her in an embrace.
Adagio leaned into it. Then as they broke, she gave an awkward laugh. “I’m going to keep teasing you, you know.”
“Would get worried if you didn’t,” Applejack said. She gave a warm smile, and Adagio painted one on in return. “Now, you need to get your own dress together, Miss Santa Claus. The party won’t wait for us.”
The Canterlot High Holiday Alumni Social (titled “Christmas Alumni Social” until the school board told Celestia that was offensive) was a sad thing when viewed from a distance. Friendship cliques from generations apart stuck to their own tables, only communicating with other former students in the language of polite nothings. The whole of the attendance fit comfortably within half the gym, with the other half given over to a too-large dance floor. Drafted students from the A/V club grumbled as they managed the music, each taking turns sneaking to the open bar and gossiping mockery of their alumni guests. Who in their right mind would waste Christmas break at school?
They did not understand. People came for a reason, and often found what they sought. Reconnection with old friends. Forgiveness for past transgressions. Now and then an old flame or fellowship rekindled, to be carried long past the evening. Fully half of the guests had graduated in the last three years, and brought with them a kind of esprit de corps for having survived the myriad assaults of Equestrian magic. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were minor celebrities for their siblings’ roles, though few of their peers believed the stories trickling from the older classes. Such was the way of things in a world still blinded by the mundane. Sunset’s generation had no one to share their stories with save each other, and so they came – dancing, joking, and laughing as though it was prom night.
Rarity made a wave when she presented herself to the crowd. So did Pinkie Pie, in an entirely different way. But even that paled compared to the arrival of Sunset and her band – five beautiful women in glittering, sexy dresses, all arriving together. Sunset beamed at the attention. Twilight, AJ, and Wallflower blushed in escalating tandem.
Adagio… strange, Sunset would have expected her to relish the crowd’s awe. But instead the siren gave a wan smile and beelined for the bar. No sign of her sisters.
Distractions piled before Sunset could give her another thought. Compliments and greetings from old friends, though Sunset honestly had few outside the Rainbooms. Flash Sentry and Trixie approached her hand-in-hand, both thrilled for a chance to reconnect. They stayed local as well, though at a private college. Two years as a couple and still going strong.
Jealousy stabbed Sunset’s heart, but she brushed it aside. She laughed with genuine entertainment at their stories and shared her own. Rainbooms and more casual acquaintances drifted in and out of their chat: Gilda offered a playful punch, and Rainbow Dash tipsily interrupted with a rendition of the Canterlot High anthem.
Sunset caught Spitfire’s eyes. The former soccer captain huffed and looked away. Photo Finish tried her level best to ignore Sunset, and Soarin – one-time boyfriend and straight-to-the-pros basketball star – was nowhere to be seen. Not all the friends were here, and not all memories were good.
But she couldn’t help that. People took to dancing as conversations wound down, and Sunset joined in. Once each with her mother and aunt, both cut short by their responsibilities managing the event. She danced with Rarity, who spent the whole time gushing over Sunset’s dress, and then with a boy whose name she forgot. His intention was obvious, but he did not protest when Sunset declined to trade phone numbers.
No big, beefy muscles on that boy. Shallow, but Sunset was feeling a little shallow.
Her eyes inevitably found Applejack, dancing with Twilight in perhaps the least amorous way possible. Twilight peered fearfully past her partner, constantly maneuvering to keep the larger woman between her and the nearest stranger. Applejack smiled gently, allowing Twilight to shuffle her without resistance. She was good like that.
Then came a slow, friendly dance with Flash while Trixie danced with... Wallflower? But the magician soon had to move on, for a small crowd of admirers waited their turn. Wallflower’s cheeks were as red as her dress, and a perpetual excited giggle flowed through her as she danced with one after another.
It took Sunset another nameless dance and rejection to realize she had her own little crowd as well. So did AJ and Twilight. Amazing what a good dress could do.
...No sign of Adagio. At least, not on the dance floor.
Rarity had pushed Fluttershy and Coco Pommel into a hugging sort of dance, the latter oddly wearing a suit and tie. Twilight had swapped her old bodyguard for Rainbow, who determinedly was dragging Twilight into a fun, wilder time.
Sunset found Applejack again, and found the green eyes fixed upon her. The dancing crowd parted around AJ as she drew close. Her in flats and Sunset in heels brought their heights the closest they had ever been.
The steady gaze, the surroundings… Sunset knew AJ’s words before she spoke. “Dance with me?”
“Of course,” Sunset said.
She fancied she knew Applejack’s intention, too. The serious look on on her face. The way she guided their swaying bodies to the edge of the festivities. This was the ‘thanks, but no thanks.’ AJ and Adagio were an item, and Sunset wished them the best.
Applejack was shy, so Sunset took the lead. “Confession time: I’ve been crushing on you for months.”
“Figured,” Applejack said without the slightest hint of surprise. She gave a soft chuckle. “That kiss at the pool was a mighty big clue.”
She looked away, frown tightening. “And I blew one back… I shouldn’t have led you on. Just wasn’t sure what to do, so I tried to make it a joke.”
Sunset shook her head. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I reckon you deserve it,” Applejack said. “So here goes: you’re sweet and pretty, and I know I came onto you hard in high school. But what with class, work, and hunting, I really just want to relax when I’m off. Trying to cram in dates and stuff just seems like a pain.”
Sunset slowed. Had it not been for Applejack’s strong arms leading the dance, she would have stopped entirely.
Her mouth worked for a second, giving three words without knowing how to finish. “I thought Adagio...”
Applejack gave a groaning laugh. “Yeah, yeah, you two are romantic rivals and I was too dense to pick it up. Seventeen year-old me would’ve been over the moon right now, but y’all are stuck with the me that ain’t really interested. Sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Sunset hugged her in the dance. “We’re still friends. Best friends.”
“Glad to hear it. We don’t need ourselves more teen drama.” Applejack gave a gentle squeeze of her own. “I hope Adagio feels the same way. Had to give her the same talk this afternoon.”
Sunset didn’t give a response. They let the conversation drift away naturally – work, life, and Wallflower’s sudden popularity. Even Twilight had consented to a dance outside her circle of friends. Granted, it was with Miss Celestia, but small steps were still steps forward.
The song came to an end. “Gonna move on,” Sunset said. Then, with a nervous grin, “Do you think that when things settle down for you…?”
“I’ll let’cha know when the market’s open.” Applejack smiled with one side of her mouth, and Sunset wondered if she saw a blush.
They parted ways. Sunset began to search. The dance floor… no, the snack tables…
...There. A mountain of orange curls at the bar, seemingly unmoved since their entrance.
Sunset sat down next to Adagio. The siren’s dress was immaculate. Her makeup, only a little smudged. Both eyed each other with neutral frowns.
Adagio spoke first. “Sharks and fish.”
Not what Sunset expected. “Huh?”
“That’s all we are, sharks and fish.” Adagio’s words came with a wet lisp. Too much to drink. “Eat or be eaten.”
Sunset signaled for a drink of her own. “That why you lied to me about AJ? No offense but neither of us are, uh...”
She winced, annoyed at her own double entendre. “...Eating.”
“Not how it was supposed to go,” Adagio said, interrupting herself with a hiccup. “Just had to throw you off until I seduced her. I mean, who can resist this?”
She gestured languidly over her body. One leg perched high on her stool, lifting immodestly though her skirt’s slit. “And right after buying her an expensive present, all out of the goodness of my heart. It was perfect. Perfect target, too. You’ve seen the way she looks at me.”
“It was mostly you looking at her,” Sunset noted. Her drink came, and she took a guarded sip.
“You too.”
“Fair.”
“Poor dumb-ass,” Adagio slurred. She downed the shot in front of her and slapped the glass to the counter. “She had a chance to get with the hottest girl on Earth and she blew it. Now me, I don’t really care. Girl like me can get anyone she wants, but AJ? She better hope I’m still open when she crawls back to me.”
The words twisted something inside Sunset. She made her own drink disappear and slammed down the glass even harder. “I dunno. If this is the way you talk about her, I’m thinking she dodged a bullet.”
Adagio sneered. “Fuck you.”
“Damn it, listen to yourself.” Sunset snapped. “She’s your friend.”
Adagio produced her cell phone and turned her eyes to the screen. “Then that’s her mistake. I told you idiots, I’m in it for me and no one else.”
She swiped her thumb to the key – or would have, if the phone was still in her grip. A quick move of Sunset’s hand snatched it away.
Sunset rose. Adagio glared upwards, and Sunset matched it with a cold, steady glare and single word.
“Outside.”
Winter’s chill assaulted as they left the gym. Sunset set her hand against the brick entryway; she helped lay those bricks, after destroying the whole wall at the Fall Formal. Forgiveness, friendship, and four years had made her a far different person than the Sunset back then.
...Forgiveness.
A bare dusting of snow had settled on the arch. It melted beneath her palm as she lingered, leaving the new stone visible when she turned away.
“Not too late to back out.” Adagio grinned. Not a smug grin, or a happy one. Her head swayed, and she took an extra step to keep balance. “Siren agility, remember? I can put you flat on your ass anytime I want.”
“Maybe if you weren’t drunk,” Sunset said. Somehow she didn’t feel cold out here. Adrenaline and alcohol.
Adagio cracked her knuckles, the grin falling to gritted teeth. “Guess that makes it fair.”
She lunged. High heels skidded in the snow, and the next foot came down at a tipsy angle. Her swinging fist flew wide in an instinctive grasp for something to stop the fall.
The hand found nothing. But as her body pitched forward, a thinner form in a purple dress caught it with her own. Sunset wrapped her arms around Adagio, hugging and steadying her.
Adagio’s breath hitched, held… and then released with a dry chuckle. “What kind of a fight is this?”
Pressed close as they were, the two could only look past each other.
“You’re a good person,” Sunset murmured.
Adagio gave a loud, sarcastic laugh. She steadied herself and tried to pull away, but Sunset didn’t let go.
“I’m curious what the hell makes you say that.”
Sunset released her hold. She stepped back so they could see each other again, and gave a cryptic smile. Wordlessly, she raised a hand and plucked at her dress. Shimmering purple; a perfect fit.
“Did you see Wallflower?” Sunset asked.
Adagio had spent all evening at the bar. She shook her head, and Sunset went on. “She’s the life of the party. People are lining up to dance with her. Even Twilight’s having fun, and AJ...”
The smile shrank, but did not disappear. “Yeah, what you tried to pull was bad. Doesn’t mean I can’t forgive you. Rejection sucks, and–”
“I said I don’t care about that,” Adagio growled.
“You’re lying,” Sunset noted with a shrug. “Now you remember what I said: you’re fine, I’m fine, she’s fine. It’s okay that AJ doesn’t want to start dating. It’s okay that you’re upset, and to be honest, I am too. But I’m way more upset about my friend drinking and lashing out than I am at my chances for tough-girl nookie fading from the immediate future.”
Adagio threw out her curls. She sniffed wetly. “Buying you an expensive dress doesn’t make us friends.”
“It sure doesn’t,” Sunset agreed. She didn’t break eye contact, though Adagio did. “Nothing on its own does. Remember how we finally scored our first Smash Pillars win against Wallflower by ganging up on her? We had to stop the game and do our victory dance. Then when I was freaking out over the finals, you swiped the test plans from Mister Discord. Yes, chocolate stains had made everything illegible, but you cared enough to try.”
Another wet sniff. Adagio rubbed her arms against the cold. “I just wanted to get on your good side.”
“The werewolf would have bitten off my head if you didn’t get in its way. You helped us fight the Space Nazis despite being pretty ambivalent to doing so. Then that night I fell asleep with my head on your leg. But I was only half-asleep and heard you complain about it to Twilight, then you shooed her away when she went to wake me up.”
“You make me feel pretty.”
The words blurted out from the entrance. They looked over to see Applejack, with a shy little smile and two other hunters in tow.
“Wallflower saw y’all head out,” Applejack mumbled, lingering in the doorway. A bare arm reached up and scratched the back of her head. “She thought you were gonna fight.”
She gave a hard shake of the head, stammering the first word. “A-anyway, a girl like me doesn’t get much in the way of romantic callers. So Daj, you being all you and stuff… teasing and flirting and all, that makes me feel like, ‘Hey, I’m pretty good looking, myself.’ And you always back off when I tell you to back off, and never tease me about anything I don’t like.”
An apologetic glance moved between the yellow girls, and Applejack took one step closer. “I’m not really up for dating right now. But I ain’t gonna be like that forever. And whatever direction that whole business goes, here and now, I’m a happier person because you’re my friend.”
Wallflower sped past her and excitedly seized Adagio by the wrists. The unexpected pull sent orange curls flying, and revealed wetness in the siren’s eyes. “Everyone can see me, Adagio! I put my head up just like you said, and they all want to dance! This has never happened, thank you so much!”
Twilight followed slower, but smiled cattily. “I don’t have a good emotional story like these guys. But I did spend a long time wondering what it was like to have friends. Sharing fun and secrets, tears and trust and terrifying encounters… that’s us, you know? That’s what it means to be friends.”
Adagio gave a high squeak of a laugh, and moved her knuckles over her eyes. Her shoulders trembled. Silent hiccups shook her chest, and she turned the hand to hide her eyes from view.
Her words came forced through a tight, shaking grin. “I’m homosexual, but you guys are frickin’ gay.”
Wallflower snapped her arms around Adagio and squeezed. Twilight and Sunset followed suit, and Applejack crossed the distance to entwine her arms with theirs.
Adagio kept the hand over her eyes, and she moved the other up to hide her mouth. The tremble in her body became a violent shake that the embrace held in check.
She jerked her head downwards, concealing the face while freeing her hands to grasp frantically around. One found Sunset’s fingers; the other, Twilight’s shoulder. Adagio squeezed them hard enough to cause pain, and that was alright.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
A Merry "Little" Christmas
The party was drawing to an end when the group returned to Canterlot gym, but there remained time for two more dances. Sunset wanted to ask Adagio for one, but that honor would go to Wallflower and Applejack. She lingered outside for an extra second pondering in the cold, and so was delayed further by a low greeting.
“You are a friend, both good and true.
The low rhythm and rhyme identified the speaker before she emerged from the dark – a brown-skinned woman with a mohawk and staff, more clothed than her norm in hide boots and a bundle of furs.
“Hi, Zecora. Merry Christmas.”
Sunset smiled warmly. Most of Celestia’s hunters cared little for the shaman, though Sunset knew her as nothing but an ally.
Zecora smiled in return, though she raised one eyebrow in seeming mockery.
“Christmas? Feh. A new-age thing.
“Who called it ‘Mesing–” Sunset caught herself and shook her head. “You know what? Never mind, it’s probably safer not to find out. I already know Christmas equivalents aren’t unique to this age, or even this world. It doesn’t stop me from enjoying them, especially now that I have a family to share it with.”
“Valid. Do not get me wrong.” Zecora drew closer, one hand raised in peace. “I too make merry – loud and long.”
“And while the modern brand annoys,
“You can come inside,” Sunset offered without much expectation Zecora would accept. The shaman stared back with a frown, and Sunset shrugged. “Didn’t think so. Want me to get her?”
“No need, Sunset, for now I tell:
A befuddled Sunset accepted the offered flask. It was small, containing perhaps two swallows of fluid and made from the scales of some lizard.
“Wait, it’s a present for Mom, but I’m the one who drinks it?”
“Your words there are correct alone,
Sunset gave a light chuckle as she slipped the potion into her pocket. “What does it do? Give me plus-four strength?”
Zecora tilted her head and squinted. Sunset’s chuckle took a nervous tone. “Joking, joking. One more question: I, uh, proofread some of Wallflower’s Smash Pillar fanfiction last week and there was this… eheh…”
She trailed off, rallied, and went on. “Look, there’s no good way to say this. Will the potion make me grow man bits?”
Zecora tilted her head in the opposite direction. Her squint remained, though the mouth opened and one eye began to twitch.
“By that I mean a pe–”
“No. What? NO!” The words came far less melodic than Zecora’s norm. She backed slowly from Sunset, then turned away.
“I’ll leave before my mood grows knobby.
“I was just proofreading hers!” Sunset called, but the strange woman did not slow her retreat into the winter dusk.
Sunset shivered, suddenly aware of how poorly her dress kept out the cold. Time to go inside and warm up with one last dance.
She beamed as the gym’s heaters greeted her return. Not the best evening of all time, but overall? Finals were done, and she was already moved back home for winter break. Two weeks of free time, with no monsters in sight.
And… yeah, she’d drink the potion. Zecora was strange, but trustworthy. How bad could it be?
She downed it on the proper morning, but nothing happened. Sunset supposed that even Zecora made duds once in a while. She shared a calm, pleasant Christmas with her mom and aunt. Sugary holiday cereal for breakfast, a grocery store turkey for dinner, and a present to and from each woman. Spiked leather bracelets from Luna, Equestrian chocolates and luxury pajamas from mom.
The day after Christmas, Luna set down her phone on the kitchen counter. “No luck.”
Celestia’s voice from the living room did not answer. “Check the stove, please.”
A pot simmered on one of the burners. Luna opened its lid and winced – a uniform, unappetizing tan laid within, neither fully liquid or solid, and certainly resembling nothing in the way of food.
She scooped out a fingerful of the viscous formula, sucked it, and suppressed a gag. “It’s lukewarm and tastes like wet cardboard. Let me put in some sugar.”
“The book says no.”
Luna scoffed and shouted back. “I don’t think the book quite anticipated–”
Celestia interrupted across the distance. “Don’t yell, you might disturb her.”
Luna shrugged, not at all interested in an argument. She dolloped a healthy two spoons of sugar into the heated crap and poured it into a baby bottle. Shaking it for good measure, she approached the living room while resuming her old topic. “No cure from Redheart. I’m pretty sure she’s never heard of this, and she wouldn’t stop laughing anyway. What about Professor Whooves?”
“Many ideas, little help,” Celestia sighed.
“So the usual.”
“Be nice.”
Celestia sat on the couch as Luna entered, still in pajamas and bathrobe. Christmas debris of opened boxes and torn ribbons littered the ground around her slippered feet. She held a soft bundle carefully in the crook of her elbow, swaddled with a bath towel and Sunset’s new pajamas.
A tiny, chubby yellow arm poked from the bundle. The green-eyed face of a baby followed, looking to Luna before falling back weakly into Celestia’s arm.
Celestia smoothed back the wisp of red hair coming from the baby’s head. “It wasn’t all bad. He went on for a little while about… you know, positrons and Kinistatic reactions and such. Allegedly, because this is such an unnatural process for poor Sunset, as she metabolizes the potion she will inevitably return to normal.”
“Hey, that’s good.” Luna reached down and mussed up the red hair, drawing a glare from Sunset. “Gotta say I’m disappointed in you, kiddo. Crazy lady offers a mysterious potion and your first instinct is to drink it?”
“Zecora is not a crazy lady,” Celestia responded with the resignation of an old argument. “And I don’t think Sunset can understand you.”
Luna reached in to touch the hair again, and the baby feebly slapped her away. “Pretty sure you’re wrong on both counts. Anyway: bottle.”
“Give it here,” Celestia said, far more decisively than her norm. Luna smirked behind her lips and obeyed, then watched her sister present the bottle to Sunset.
Sunset sucked in her lips, eyeing the clay-like brown inside.
“Come on, Sunshine,” Celestia cooed. A nickname reserved for Sunset’s most vulnerable moments. “It won’t taste good, but you do need to eat something.”
Sunset gave a dramatic baby-sigh and rolled her eyes before moving her mouth around the bottle. Her first reluctant drink was followed by a blink of surprise, and a suspicious glance to Luna before continuing with a will.
Celestia followed Sunset’s gaze. “She’s taking this well. You didn’t add sugar, did you?”
Luna crossed her fingers inside her pocket and sneaked Sunset a wink. “Nope.”
“Oh, Sunshine,” Celestia sang, turning back to her child. A shift in her arm brought Sunset’s head up higher. “Sunshine, Sunshine, ladybugs awake… I really don’t know what Zecora was thinking.”
Sunset coughed abruptly, sending a tan splash across Celestia’s good blazer. Celestia reacted smoothly, wiping the baby’s lips with the towel and sitting her fully upright in her grasp. She set another towel on her shoulder and leaned Sunset over. A few gentle pats on the back eased out a belch with another mouthful of formula.
Celestia bounced Sunset with her knee, beaming as she earned another few burps. “We’ll take a break. Let it out.”
One more bounce, then she hugged Sunset close. Celestia kept Sunset’s head upright with her own, eyes closed.
Luna tensed as a lone tear fell from each one. “Tia?”
“I’m fine,” Celestia whispered. The unstained sleeve came up to wipe her face. She looked to Luna with a gentle pink gaze and quiet smile.
“You’re crying,” Luna said. “If our positions were reversed, you’d be mother goosing me right now. Talk to me.”
Celestia gave a soft huff, and shuffled to get more comfortable. “Fine, fine. It’s not a bad thing. Not really, anyway. Just...”
Her left lip moved up, twisting her smile. Two more tears followed the first. “I always wanted to have a child.”
“Sunset is your child,” Luna said immediately. The baby’s eyes opened, and squinted. Listening.
Another soft huff. “You know what I mean. I wanted a husband with a stable job, who would take cute pictures of my pregnant belly. I wanted to raise a child from the cradle: changing their diapers, taking them to first grade and the parks, watching them grow...”
A long pink finger worked its way into Sunset’s hand, and was duly grabbed. “We skipped all that, Sunset. I wish...”
She trailed off, content to let it rest.
Luna was not. “It’s not too late.”
Then with a smirk, “Little birds tell me you still got it, and got it good.”
“Luna, I don’t want to get knocked up,” Celestia said with a frown. A soft noise from Sunset broke it into a smile, and she kissed a fat yellow cheek and stroked the chin. “I wanted a relationship. Husband and wife and all. Whether or not I still ‘got it,’ I’m almost forty. That doesn’t leave much time to build a romance, then a family. I’m not really the kind to go searching, and I’m mercifully too wise to do something reckless or settle for an unwanted partner. The chance is gone. I’ve accepted it, and I’ve moved on.”
She held Sunset upright before her. She stared into the green eyes, looking back to her with empathy until a light pink finger upon the yellow stomach drew out a babbled laugh.
Celestia hugged her close. “To have this for a little while… although goodness, Zecora, you might have asked first.”
Luna sat down next to her. “Sorry.”
“What for?”
A tight blue frown. “You could have had all that if you didn’t waste two decades taking care of me.”
“It wasn’t a waste,” Celestia replied sternly. “You needed it, and I think I did too. And if I had found lovely marital bliss I wouldn’t have been there for Sunset, so you see? All worked out for the best.”
“Except for you,” Luna said. She reached behind and hugged Celestia at the shoulders.
A melodic laugh answered. Sadness hovered at its edge, but Celestia’s expression was joyful as she nuzzled her head to Sunset. “There never was going to be a prince on a white horse, Lulu. I can live without baby pictures.”
Sunset looked thoughtful as she pressed herself to Celestia, chewing on a bang of the woman’s hair.
“Baby pictures, huh?” Sunset shot Luna a betrayed glare, but Luna only smirked and stood. “Hang tight, let me get my phone.
Although not especially useful, Whooves’ logic proved sound. Sunset was able to crawl and form words that evening, crossing developmental months and using the gift to threaten Luna with fearful retribution if the baby pictures were ever shared. Toileting returned mercifully quickly, and by dinner the next day Sunset was able to sit at the table on four thick textbooks in her seat. Toddler legs kicked weightlessly in the air, and with her chin on the table she stared sulkily at her food.
Celestia was mostly done with hers before she noticed. “What’s wrong? I thought you liked broccoli and cheese.”
Sunset did. One of her favorites in fact, now cooling on her plate with only three bites removed.
“It tastes awful.” A thin yellow hand reached up and pushed it away.
“But–”
“I KNOW!” Sunset screeched, then went on with calmer frustration. “I’m supposed to like broccoli. I asked for broccoli! But it makes this stupid little body want to puke. Stupid toddlers just want hay nuggets, or whatever they eat on Earth.”
She sniffed. Then sniffed again, and pressed her hands to her eyes. “And I KNOW this isn’t worth crying over but this stupid body...”
Celestia pulled the plate away from Sunset and gave Luna a soft command. “Hug her.”
Luna looked askance. “What about you?”
“I…” Celestia stood, and drew something from her pocket. She stepped over and kissed Sunset on the forehead. “Will make grilled cheese sandwiches.”
Sunset looked up with guilt and horror. “Mom, you just got done cooking and I–”
Celestia slipped a small chocolate into her mouth, ending the protest.
Luna wrapped her arms around Sunset. She looked up at Celestia, mouth open and tongue out expectantly. Celestia gave her a nonplussed stare, and Luna waggled her eyebrows.
Shrugging, Celestia popped a piece of broccoli into Luna’s mouth, then made her way to the kitchen.
Growth continued, faster every day. They defaulted to pizza the following dinner, then…
“Seriously?” Sunset glared to her mother. Celestia did not look back, occupied with her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. Her makeup was on, her hair shining, and her second-best blazer in place.
“You know I can’t skip board meetings,” Celestia said distractedly, then called out, “Luna, are you ready!?”
An affirmative came from down the hall, while Sunset crossed her shrimpy arms and pouted. “Sure, I get that. But we don’t need a stupid babysitter.”
Celestia slipped on her purse, still eyeing her work in the mirror. “I’m afraid we do. The last thing we need is for anyone to stop by and find an unattended eight-year old. Then they’ll dig and learn I’m a single mother with psychotic breakdowns in her history… just deal with it, please. I got one of your friends.”
Sunset slumped, defeated. “Fine, so long as it’s anyone but Rainbow. She’d never let me hear the end of this.”
She tensed, and shivered abruptly as the front door opened and a high banshee voice sang out.
“Hello~ darlings~!”
Sunset turned slowly enough to only prolong the anticipation. By the time she finished, Rarity loomed in the entryway, seeming impossibly tall from Sunset’s new perspective. The marble-skinned woman wore a friendly grin that pulled back just a bit too far, and eyes that opened just a bit too wide. She stood with her arms out like a scarecrow, every inch holding a clothes hangar with new designs for child-sized dresses.
As Celestia made to leave, Sunset tugged on her purple slacks. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
Sunset managed to pry her gaze from the blue-eyed horror and looked up to her mother. “I want to watch an R-rated movie when you get home.”
Celestia gave a beatific smile. “Of course we can.”
“With lots of gore,” Sunset said seriously. “And nudity.”
Celestia made to protest, then trailed off at the deathly expression on Sunset’s face. “Of course,” she said, and kissed Sunset on top of her head.
Two hours of fashion hell later, Rarity finally consented to a break. She puttered around the room, gossiping loudly on the phone with a dubiously-interested Rainbow while Sunset beached herself upon the couch.
Ten minutes was enough time for her mind to grow bored, even though her body hadn’t recovered. Sunset fumbled for some form of stationary entertainment and laid claim to one of Rarity’s fashion magazines. Whatever. It would do.
A vintage magazine, strangely enough. If twenty years-old counted as “vintage.” Rarity maintained that it did, and generally kept a few on hand for inspiration.
Sunset gave a low whistle when she saw the cover – ‘inspiration’ was one word for it. A slim, gray-skinned beauty posed in lingerie, smiling to the camera beneath her short pink hair.
“Yo, Rares!” Sunset called, then held up the magazine. “Is this Hemline?”
“That is my boss ‘Miss Prim Hemline,’ yes,” Rarity said. “She started as a model, and is actually getting a bit back into it. Body positivity is in this year.”
She tilted her head, eyes upwards. “Which sounds a touch cynical when I say it out loud… and let’s be real, I can only pray my body looks like hers when I’m fifty. What? Oh, no-no Rainbow, I was talking to Sunset...”
Rarity continued her digital prattle, leaving Sunset to the magazine. The list of models blared across the front cover, headed naturally by Prim Hemline. Then Chiffon Swirl, Nagatha Harshwhinny, Stellar F–
Sunset never caught Stellar’s last name. She fixated on the middle. Nagatha Harshwhinny: hunter, history teacher, and bane of her senior year. Page twenty-two of the lingerie special, with an “adults only” tag stickered on.
...Nope, no way. Sunset moved to put the magazine back, gingerly holding it by the spine with only a finger and thumb. The move let the pages hang free, and released the centerfold image: a blonde, tan skinned woman looking to Sunset with a seductive–
“Nope!” Sunset sprang to her feet, hurling the magazine aside. “Break time’s over! Come on, Rarity, let’s tackle the rest of these dresses!”
The movie Sunset chose had a little blood in it, but nothing more. She sat comfortably, still small enough to fit on Celestia’s lap while the woman wrapped a lazy hug around her belly. They lounged together on the couch, watching the mindless story play out while Luna gamed on her computer.
Barely any blood, and even less nudity. Just a square-jawed masculine hero who seized every opportunity to show off the muscles beneath his shirt.
Somehow, Sunset wasn’t disappointed. Midway through the movie he ditched the shirt while soaking wet, drawing a happy sigh from both her and her mom.
Luna shuffled in place. “Ew.”
“Mommy’s got needs, Luna,” Celestia called.
“Double-ew.” Luna grimaced in disgust. “You know, giant-ass muscles tend to come with gross body hair.”
“Not Applejack,” Sunset murmured, then looked to Luna curiously. “What’s your type?”
Luna shrugged. “Pretty anime guys? I guess? I mean, one, I’m okay with being single forever so long as I’m with Celestia. And two, I don’t really feel comfortable discussing fetishes with a kid who looks like she’s eight.”
Sunset stuck out her tongue. “Human taboos. Ponies think it’s healthy to have frank and honest discussions about sex with their family.”
“La-la-la, don’t care.” Luna clicked her mouse, swinging a digital broadsword on her computer screen. “I’m super interested in the movie, so be quiet and watch.”
Thankfully, Sunset obeyed. Luna turned when the credits began to find her still reclined into Celestia’s lap, and both fast asleep. Celestia with her tongue lolling to the side, and Sunset contentedly chewing on her hair.
Luna retrieved a blanket from the linen closet and laid it over the pair. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, she crawled beneath it herself, resting her head against Celestia’s side.
Faster and faster, Sunset kept growing. Now roughly thirteen, and if the acceleration continued she would be back to normal by tomorrow.
It couldn’t come soon enough.
“Sunshine! Dear!” Celestia called helplessly through the bathroom door. “You look beautiful! It’s fine!”
“No it’s not!” Sunset wailed. “What is this disease? I’ve seen it on others, but why me!?”
“It’s not a disease, dearie, it’s acne. Lot’s of people have it, it’s perfectly normal for your age.”
The door slammed open, and Sunset pointed to the white spots on her face. And cheeks. And chin. “Perfectly normal? Normal!? How in Tartarus do humans survive this!? I think I have them in my Celestia-damned armpits!”
“Sunset,” Celestia tried.
“Gah! I KNOW this is temporary, and I KNOW I’m being crazy, but I can’t help it! I’m so gross and weird! Is this was being an early teen is like? How do you stand yourselves? I hate this, I’m so ugly and–”
“Sunset.”
This time Celestia moved with the words, wrapping Sunset in a calm embrace. She tilted the girl’s tear-stained face up towards hers, and kissed her right on top of the largest zit.
“You’re my girl,” she said, and Sunset smiled weakly into the gaze. “You’re my beautiful baby girl, and you always will be.”
Sunset latched on, and buried her face into Celestia’s chest. They stood there a long moment before Sunset muttered, “I’m gonna lock myself in my room now. I might come out for dinner, I might not.”
“I’ll bring something if you don’t,” Celestia promised. Sunset stood tip-toe to peck her cheek, then fled into the depths of the house.
Normal people would have measured Sunset’s height with a measuring tape, but that N-word rarely touched Celestia’s life. She hugged the young woman close to her, releasing a thoughtful hum as she placed her chin comfortably on top of Sunset’s head.
“You still have a few inches to go,” Celestia acknowledged. She stepped back, letting her exchange smiles with her daughter. “Nothing more. Welcome back to adulthood, Sunset.”
Sunset gave a short, desperate laugh. “It is so good to be back! Although...”
She took in a deep breath, and shrugged. “The week wasn’t terrible. Just really weird. And hey, Aunt Luna?”
Luna poked her head in from the kitchen. “Yeah?”
“Thanks for everything,” Sunset gave her a beaming grin, and Luna answered with her own. “I can’t imagine this was easy on any of us.”
“Eh, it was hardest on you, shorty.” Luna approached and playfully tussled Sunset’s hair. “Tia got to be a mommy, and I got to be the cool aunt. And next chance we get, we’ll have a nice family outing as we go beat the shit out of Zecora.”
“No, we shall not,” Celestia announced.
“Of course, of course. I’m joking.” Luna raised her hands, offering the older sister a winning smile. She waited until Celestia’s back was turned to cross two of the fingers, getting a chuckle from Sunset.
Somehow, Celestia knew. “I mean it, young ladies!”
She turned, brandishing a ladle and hidden smirk. Luna and Sunset squealed and ran, but rallied with thrown pillows as Celestia chased them to the living room. Celestia powered through and tackled Luna to the couch, punishing her resistance with a raspberry to the stomach. Laughter shook the small house as Sunset joined in, loud enough to be heard from the street.
A brown-skinned woman listened and watched through a window. She allowed herself a brief, satisfied smile before her expression fell to something far more serious. Words came low as she trod swiftly away:
“Enjoy your games, and laughs, and grins.
Author's Note
Merry LITTLE Christmas, because Sunset turned little...haha...
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
One more "Monster of the Week" chapter before shit gets real
Weightless, Sunset swam.
Ahead, Applejack and Twilight leaned through the shimmering blue portal, reaching back desperately for her. Too late, too far. Sunset grasped for them anyway. Her feet stumbled on floating, moss-slick stones, bringing the impossible distance even further from sight. In water-like air (or air-like water?) she continued to flee, pushing herself from floating debris, scrambling for every bare meter.
The way home seemed as far as ever when something wrapped around her ankle. It was cold and slimey; solid and spongy. A sickly green tentacle.
The same green loomed at the edge of Sunset’s vision – the cyclopean bulk of the tentacle’s owner, so huge that even facing away she could see it. Now, close enough to grab her.
Sunset drew in and closed her outstretched hand. No point dragging the others down with her. She pushed with the arm, turning to face her aggressor.
Twilight screamed, but no noise could be heard save Sunset’s voice.
“I bet you’re wondering how I got here. Well...”
“To be honest, I have trouble keeping track of it, myself. It all started as a pretty normal Friday.”
Visiting Twilight Sparkle’s personal laboratory was always a trying experience for Sunset. Yes, the girl made fantastic use of it, and yes, it was entirely deserved. But Sunset had never quite gotten over the fact Twilight’s parents just built her the damn thing for a birthday or something on the grounds of their estate. Contrasting that with Celestia’s apologies for not covering the Dali Hall rent made Sunset seriously consider the merit of workers seizing the means of production from their capitalist overlords.
Then she remembered Twilight found cures for alien plagues here, and all was well. Sunset had been over often enough that she let herself in, and held open the door for two other hunters. Adagio stretched and groaned, still smelling faintly of gun smoke, while Applejack gingerly rubbed a shoulder bruised by too many rifle kicks.
A timid knock sounded on the door behind them, and Sunset quickly opened it again to let in Wallflower.
Sunset fingered in her purse and frowned – an uncomfortable feeling, being out of ammo. “AJ, why didn’t you tell me your farm had a mole monster infestation?”
Applejack shrugged with the good shoulder. “It ain’t really worth mentioning. You spray for bugs every spring, check for blight every summer, and every blue moon you drive off those thieving varmits or they’ll steal the whole orchard. Thanks for the help, girls.”
Adagio tossed her jacket over a computer monitor. “Sure, sure, but why are we here? If Twilight didn’t want to come, that’s her business. The rest of us could have slept over Applejack’s. We could have watched movies, played spin-the-bottle...”
Sunset cut in. “Because I got fifty-seven texts from Twilight in the half hour it took us to fight the mole monsters. Most of it’s Sci-Twi gibberish, but the long and short is that–”
A nasal, joyful cry echoed from the depths of the lab. “PORTALS!”
“...Twilight thinks she has a breakthrough on her hands, and is using quantum physical blah-blah-blah to open a gate to Equestria. We’re here to make sure she doesn’t...”
Sunset shuffled in place. “Um, die.”
They walked down a sloped metal hallway, Adagio yawning as she went. “Is that why you brought the rocket launcher?”
A grimacing grin came to Sunset, abetted by the hefty metal tube slung on her back. “If the experimental – and technically, physically impossible – mad science portal leads to Equestria, great. Somehow, I don’t think we’re that lucky.”
“Not to brag or anything, but I saw this coming from a mile away. Even before the punchline hit.”
Two blue orbs of science pulsed on each side of a wired mirror, sending bolts of impossible colors circling around its edge. Beeping computers and thumping generators cluttered the inner lab, connected to each other and the mirror with thick cords that whined and smoked. Twilight practically danced among the chaos, her every move known to her in advance. No step was wasted. No hand raised except to jot notes or flip a switch, then moved on seamlessly to its next task. Dark bags pulled at her eyelids, her hair had a greasy shine more common to Wallflower’s, and her mouth gave a maniacal laughter whenever it broke from her monologue.
“It’s so simple, so elegant!” Twilight sang as she plugged one enormous cord into another. “Time cannot be frozen, but in an absolute zero, electronically-neutral vacuum environment, why, it’s the same thing! Keep the positrons, add the Higgs Bosuns, and bam! Time and space, at my fingertips! Euclid, Newton, Einstein… all have carried the torch, and it is now passed to Twilight Sparkle to light the lamp which will illuminate the universe! BWA-HA-HA!”
The others laughed as well – strained, painful smiles, with thick beads of sweat. Sunset managed to whimper a question. “How did you come up with it?”
Twilight’s black leather glove clutched the final lever, and she grinned in frenzied triumph. “Inspiration struck as I stalked that fool, Discord! He read of Bosun portals in science fiction, and mocked them because one cannot stop time to make them stable. BUT I HAD THE VISION! I’LL SHOW THEM ALL!”
“I know, I know. I should have stopped her. But let’s be real, you would have been scared stiff, too. Twilight’s unstoppable when she’s in these moods. She would have tazed or teleported me or something if I had tried to get in her way, and then where would I be?”
“...Probably not about to be eaten. Fair point.”
Sunset wasn’t sure where the portal lead. Gray rocks and desolate architecture could be seen through the mirror’s blue haze, forming an island surrounded by a swirling black ocean. No place in Equestria she knew, but she hadn’t been everywhere.
Twilight would not be dissuaded from going through. Neither would Sunset out of fear for Twilight’s safety, and she gave orders for the rest not to follow. No one questioned her, and Twilight was already gone by the time she turned around.
Sunset sped through after her. One step on linoleum, the next on wet, slippery stone. Sunset’s heel flipped up, her body pitched downwards, and she hit the ground. Unpleasant, but oddly mundane and comforting. No poison filled her lungs, and no alien weightlessness cushioned her fall.
She stood. Twilight was a few paces ahead, staring to the center of the island. Sunset stepped alongside, following Twilight’s point with her eyes. Green-gray stone blocks of a great carved monolith towered before and above them. Pillars with hieroglyphs loomed within its structure, and squatting statues as wide as Canterlot High guarded its base and leaned like gargoyles around its crown.
Twilight’s finger shook towards the structure. Her voice held low, breathless excitement. “That’s non-Euclidean geometry.”
“What’s that?” Sunset asked.
“It’s geometry that’s not based on a flat plane.”
Sunset took a slow blink and looked to Twilight. “What’s so special about that?”
“Never. Ever. Ask Twilight that question about something she’s passionate about. She began explaining to me exactly what was so special, in language you’d need three doctorates to understand, and wouldn’t stop for the life of me. I won’t say what happened next was ‘good’ – you know, because I’m about to die and everything – but at least it saved me the last seven hours of the lecture.”
They moved closer to the monolith, but not too close. A mercy to Sunset, though the delay only came from Twilight’s distractable nature. She scraped off mosses and pocketed stones, then spent a good twenty minutes studying a tiny fish bone.
For her part, Sunset’s eyes moved nervously across the monolith. Green and still. Worry for the black sea around began eclipsing it in her mind. The waves beat shallow and loud on the rocky shore, speaking of a much wider mass of land hidden below the surface. Just as ominously, the island seemed to stand mere inches above the water level. Another foot, and their socks would get wet. Any more than that…
Even as she looked, water ran beneath her feet among the piled stones. It hadn’t done that before. The water was rising, almost as if it heard her fear.
Sunset opened her mouth to call a warning, and felt the stones tumble and rise. Her words were lost as a million loose rocks clattered in sudden motion, and as she quick-stepped to keep balance she skid and fell.
But she did not reach the ground. Hands thrust to ward the fall brushed aside floating stones, then hit air. Sunset recovered from her instinctive flinch to find herself suspended alongside countless and growing layers of rocks, rising one after another as the ocean beneath them evaporated to mist.
Sunset cried out. Twilight scribbled in her notebook until a tremendous grinding emerged from the monolith. What seemed to be featureless wall from a distance proved a hinged door, creaking outwards.
It paused, halfway open. Four claws as large as semi-trucks curled around the lip of the door, aiding the final push as the occupant emerged. Flabby and squid-headed, with sinuous long wings and impossible size, a mountain walked or stumbled from its tomb with boiling eyes fixed upon the flashing blue portal to Canterlot.
The thing had fully emerged by the time Twilight looked up from her notebook. Her common sense used the moment to seize control and unleash a scream. Both girls began to run or swim, frantically pedaling on rocks and sweeping their arms in a wild flight for home and safety. The corpulent monstrosity in their wake pursued swiftly, utterly unhindered. Sunset’s paltry momentum seemed to grow slower, as if the thing made its own gravity that sucked her backwards.
She could feel air blast her limbs as its every step displaced incalculable stones and water. Hot, moist breath buffeted her frantically kicking legs.
Twilight slipped through the portal. AJ’s strong arms had pulled her in, and now both girls reached back for Sunset. Too late, too far. The barest tip of one of the monster’s face tendrils grabbed Sunset’s leg…
This close, the thing was so large Sunset fancied she was being pulled towards a sickly green landmass. The eyes were hidden from view on opposite sides of the head, and the claws loomed so far away as to seem entities totally different from the grasping tendrils beneath her.
The beast pulled.
Sunset closed her eyes, and swallowed hard.
“I guess that about sums things up. Either this tentacle will snake up or another will move in, and then I’ll be crushed. All that’s left is to hope it kills me fast instead of slow.”
“...Is what I would say, if I didn’t come prepared.”
Sunset opened her eyes. She ceased her flailing, and reached back for the metal tube over her shoulder. She pulled it to the front and depressed the trigger, sending a rocket flying into the tendril that held her prisoner.
The explosion severed the bond, and its blast launched her through the air. Towards the portal… towards safety…
...Just not enough. A few meters short.
Twilight and AJ looked back to her in sadness for one second before steel took its place. They turned to each other, nodded, and Twilight jumped through the mirror. Half of Applejack’s body followed, with the other half braced back in the lab. A strong peach hand clutched Twilight’s ankle, letting her stretch to her full height and seize Sunset’s wrist.
Teary purple eyes found Sunset’s. “I’m sorry!”
“Damn right you are!” Sunset yelled as Applejack heaved them towards the blue. Twilight vanished into it – then reappeared, collapsed on the laboratory floor where Sunset followed in her third fall of the day.
Applejack lurched back, tripping and tumbling over the pair. “We’re through!”
At her signal, Adagio ripped open the thickest cord connection while Wallflower flipped the largest switch. The mirror went dark, then exploded instantly along with one of the computers. The lights blacked out, then low red emergency lights came on a few seconds later.
Applejack groaned. Sunset moaned.
Twilight gasped for joy. “What’s that!?”
Sunset dizzily followed her gaze to find the tendril tip still around her ankle. She kicked it off while Twilight prattled. “Actual physical contact? This is the best thing ever! I can do experiments, I can test its reaction with known substances. Find its chemical makeup! Its weakness!”
“Weakness!?” Sunset and Applejack shouted at once, with the former continuing. “Twilight, we barely made it out of there alive! What say I take you to Equestria the normal way sometime, yeah? Maybe a little safer than whatever planet that was, and maybe next time send a drone or something.”
“And maybe burn the piece before it makes like a movie?” Applejack added, though Twilight looked to Sunset curiously.
“Whatever planet…?” Twilight wiped sea-spray from her glasses, biting a lip. “Sunset, I… eheh, definitely got overexcited. But I know dimensional travel has a lot of hazards, so to make sure this worked I set a… you know, a closer destination.”
Sunset blinked, confused for a second before the coin dropped. She groaned and cast her gaze to the ceiling, asking the question she already knew. “How close?”
“Close enough to be measured in kilometers,” Twilight said. She put the glasses back on, hiding her eyes behind a red flare in the lens. “That island… was on Earth.”
Author's Note
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Author's Note
Contains heavy references to the events of a previous chapter.
Song of Ruin
School had resumed. Life went on, and the world was quiet as February arrived.
Such things could never last.
“Dorm meeting,” Adagio called, offering neither context nor explanation. The addition of Twilight, however, made it clear this wasn’t about the heating bills. They gathered around the heavy inherited table, trading guarded expressions and shrugs until Adagio herded the last one in.
She broke their nervous curiosity with a grin. “No worries, guys. This is a good meeting.”
Manicured yellow fingers flipped a pamphlet onto the table: an image of glittered lightning with two familiar women and a set of dates in front. The Neo Dazzlings – the duo Aria and Sonata – were performing by Canterlot Mountain next week.
Applejack’s infamous left eyebrow cracked upwards. “We ain’t sabotaging their concert, Daj.”
Adagio held her hands in mock surrender, her face in a cheerful, effacing smile. “Look, I know this is a U-turn. You all have been extremely good to me and extremely patient as I bitched about my sisters whenever I heard their names. But we’re back in touch. They really seem like they want to bury the hatchet with me.”
Sunset smiled politely and shared a glance with Applejack. Wallflower pointed a chewed nail to the pamphlet. “I hope they didn’t make peace by giving you tickets. It says here Canterlot University students get in free.”
“Freebies, yes, but not for that.” Adagio fanned five gleaming silver tickets in her hand. “This week they’re having a rather more exclusive performance in the Canterlot Theater and Bar. Free food and drinks, and the first reveal of a song from their coming album.”
A flickering magenta eye. A self-conscious tug at the curls, and a strategic bite of her painted lip. “These tickets are worth a lot. It means something that Aria and Sonata gave them to me. I’d like to go support them, and I’d like you all to come support me. Enjoy the food and music, and smack me if I get pissy.”
Twilight spoke up with a neutral frown. “I remember hearing that bad things happened last time the Dazzlings played in Canterlot. Hypnosis-induced emotions, then siphoning them for power? Something like that?”
“Real cool of you to bring that up.” But Adagio’s smile only lost a hair of its good humor. “Short version is the gems we wore were our connection to the flow of magic. We lost the ability to put magic in our songs when they broke.”
Applejack swung her thumb between herself and Sunset. “Us Rainbooms were immune, not that it really matters with the gems gone. Anyway, Let’s go. We’ll make a shindig of it and be normal college kids for once.”
The others readily agreed. Phones came out, checking the venue and rearranging other plans. Wallflower began playing a NetTube video of one of the Neo Dazzlings’ songs, and soon every head was bobbing along. A marketable tune devoid of much creativity, but still nice to listen to.
They were still listening when Adagio retreated to her room. It would be a good time, this Friday – food and music with the others. Her friends if the evening went well, her bodyguards if it didn’t.
The Canterlot Theater and Bar was a large, flexible venue, capable of everything from weddings to black metal concerts. The Neo Dazzlings’ audience leaned clearly towards the latter. Black eye shadow and spiked hair marked many in the line, mingling with hip-fashioned valley-girls.
Applejack stuck out like a sore thumb. So would Twilight, had she not ducked fearfully between AJ and Sunset.
No one seemed to care. Sunset supposed that was good. A hundred manicured nails tapped listlessly on phones.
Silver tickets earned five seats in the VIP section: tables on a platform elevated from the mosh pit. Far from the stage, but with a fine view of it. The advertised food and drinks were perhaps lackluster – pizza, wings, and stacked cases of room-temperature Bud Pisswater – but such was entirely adequate for students on a budget. Twilight even made it better with a low-setting freeze-ray, chilling their beer quite nicely.
They chatted. Laughed. Adagio kept glancing to the stage until a squealing, perky voice Sunset recalled all-too well boomed out from the speakers.
“Helloooooooo Canterlot! Are you happy to see us?”
The blue siren Sonata followed it with a ditzy giggle as she skipped onstage, waving both hands to the roaring crowd.
Aria entered from the other side. Her pace was more sedate, and she flicked her hair disdainfully outwards. “I’m going to be real, Canterlot. You weren’t too good for us last time we were here, so you better be ready to make it up AND MAKE SOME NOISE, ‘CAUSE WE’RE STARTING YOU OFF WITH OUR FIRST SONG IN THE TOP FORTY, BATTLE OF THE BANDS!”
“I wrote that,” Adagio grumbled. Applejack set a hand on her shoulder, but it was slapped off.
For her part, Sunset settled back and tried to enjoy. It was a catchy song, now modified to be about a band determined to rise at all costs. Not exactly a great moral, but she’d be lying if she claimed her foot didn’t tap with the chorus.
Other songs followed. Equally catchy, though Sunset found herself losing interest with each one. The beats jammed pleasantly in her ears, and the Dazzlings were better singers than she could ever be. But Sunset craved warmth and emotion in her music, and these lyrics were… cold. Empty, even, or at least not filled with anything good.
Self-entitled songs of deserving the best, and how wrong others are to deny you. Parents who don’t understand (so steal their car), and boyfriends who don’t deserve you (so make sure they know). One song about how rare and lovely a girl felt in name-brand beauty products, and Sunset couldn’t tell if it was ironic. The screaming crowd sure seemed to like it.
The sirens talked a little between songs. Sonata was the cute, ditzy one, always pining for Aria’s favor, and Aria was the mean one who didn’t care. They traded scripted jokes and barbs, with every line lapped up by the audience. Sonata even had a wardrobe malfunction onstage, drawing howls and cheers.
Sunset groaned and glanced around: Adagio stared to her sisters with rapt attention, but the others looked bored or annoyed. Applejack had irately plugged her ears against the throbbing speakers, Twilight tapped on her phone, and Wallflower blew heavily into her cupped hands. Breath misted out the other side.
...Yes, it was cold in here. Like they were still outside, in February’s slush.
No, worse. Sunset trembled and folded downwards, rubbing her stiff hands together. An icy wind pierced right through her jacket, but there was no breeze at all. It wasn’t like this before… did the furnace break? Even that didn’t explain things with two-hundred sweating, jumping bodies sharing space with her and the music.
A strange sound came from above: a neighing horse, somehow both mournful and malign. Sunset looked up and saw nothing but… snow? Some special effect, yet it gave a chilled bite upon touching her hand.
The cold departed, leaving her uncomfortably warm. Maybe she was sick. Definitely she was irate.
“Alright, Canterlot!” Aria’s voice boomed too loudly from the stage. Something bright and blue shined on her neck, forcing Sunset to blink away with a headache on top of her misery. “I wasn’t sure if you would deserve it, but you’ve been a great crowd. What say we finish this off with a first-ever look at our new song?”
The audience roared its assent. Blue glowed at Sonata’s throat as well, hiding her grin in its shine. “Get ready for… The Rise of Tirek.”
A dull metal bass ground through the speakers, followed by grainy plucks at Aria’s guitar. A disturbing melody to make the skin crawl, far less comfortable than the canned tunes they played before. Sunset felt nauseous and at this point it was hard to pin down a source.
“This sucks,” Applejack moaned.
“It was your idea,” Wallflower snapped, then took a mocking country accent. “All, ‘Howdy y’all pardners, let’s go to the hoedown shindig, y’all.’”
Applejack gave a low grunt, staring back levelly. “I like you better when I forget you’re there.”
“Look, we’re all a little grouchy.” Sunset growled her best effort at reconciliation through the headache, churning stomach, and fresh waves of bitter cold.
Twilight arched her nose arrogantly. “I’m not.”
“Oh, screw you, egghead.” The words tumbled without thought from Sunset’s lips. She ignored the lyrics from the stage, and Adagio’s surprised glance. “Let’s get out of here before one of you idiots embarrass me.”
“Well, lookie here! The plaster’s coming off mommy’s little angel.” Applejack sneered and stood, but not to leave. Two tough hands planted solidly on the table. “It’s always other people’s fault, never Sunshit’s. Ain’t that right?”
Twilight gave a wicked smirk. “She’s not on my level, but she’s a heck of a lot closer than you three. You’re lucky we hang out with you.”
Wallflower poked her hard in the ribs. “Please. If it wasn’t for me, the Space Nazis would have killed you all.”
“Well if it wasn’t for me, Sunset Demon-Shimmer would have beaten them to the punch!” Applejack jerked a thumb proudly to her chest.
Sunset wrinkled her nose and smirked. “Pony Twilight gets the credit for that and you know it. Stick to being a workhorse, it suits you better.”
“Well I think being a villain suits you better,” Wallflower said, glaring at Sunset.
Applejack shoved the green girl roughly on the shoulder. “Pot, kettle, black.”
“The hell are you looking at?” Twilight snapped, meeting their fifth’s gaze.
Adagio blinked slowly, staring through them as though lost in thought. She blinked again, eyes clearing as they looked away.
“Nothing,” Adagio said quickly. A few shouts came from the mosh pit beneath them. Someone had thrown a punch. The guttural melody played on.
Twilight pushed up her glasses with a flourish. “Thought so.”
“Bitch,” Sunset murmured. Her headache was boiling now, bubbling cruel, thoughtless impulse to the fore. She flicked a hand with all the skill of her pickpocket days, slapping Twilight’s glasses to the sky.
...It felt good. A grin played across Sunset’s face as Twilight knelt and scrambled for the plastic frames.
Wallflower tossed her leftover pizza onto Twilight’s back. “Now you get on my level, dork!”
Twilight snarled and kicked, knocking one of Wallflower’s legs out from under her. Applejack chortled and scraped her own plate onto Wallflower, drawing a sneer from Sunset.
“Rootin’ tootin’ honorable cowgirl you are, hitting ‘em while they’re down.”
Applejack began stomping around the table to Sunset, smiling tightly. “Maybe I should hit you while you’re up?”
Sunset sauntered to meet her, one shoulder at a time. The anger had nowhere else to go. “Maybe you should, huh? Or maybe I should send you to pound town where you can–”
While Sunset postured, Applejack had sped. Two fast steps closed the distance and lent speed to her punch. A fist like swinging granite hit Sunset mid-taunt on the right of her face, sending her spinning to the ground. She landed, dazed, at the edge of the VIP elevation.
She saw Wallflower stomp on Twilight’s fallen glasses. The purple girl reached up and yanked her by the hair to the ground. Theirs was not the only fight – everywhere there were brawling guests, upended tables, and hurled bottles. Violence had engulfed the dancers below. Everyone was fighting…
Except Adagio. She walked coolly down the stairs, but there was no time to contemplate. Applejack loomed above Sunset, all signs of mocking humor replaced by feral, unthinking rage.
The prone Sunset could give no defense. Applejack’s savage, cowboy-booted kick sent her a meter out, then down into the mosh pit.
Goth kids staggered over her, then lurched drunkenly back to the fray. Valley-girls stomped on her back with heeled shoes, though Sunset barely felt it. Sparks danced in her eyes, Her vision blurred, doubled, then blurred again.
...So cold. Cold enough to pin her limbs. The freezing snow had returned, and as her dizzy gaze went skyward she fancied she saw ethereal white horses frolicking in the rafters. Then her eyes fell to a mound of orange curls picking their way carefully through the melee.
Her vision faded to shadows, then darkness. No sight, no touch. Only the throbbing speakers, and the cruel duet singing chillingly from all sides.
“Bring the rage and bring the pain, Step on insects, kill for gain. Tirek rising in our mind, Coming up, the world to find.
Looking down with gaze so cruel, Just like me looking to you’ll Be sorry for every slight, Every bicker, every fight.
Tirek Rising, free for all, Blood is running through the hall. Smash the window, take the jewels, Rise of Tirek, end of rules.
Not a sin if we don’t cry, Not a crime if watchers die, Tirek rising, king of lies, Tirek rising, Tirek – rise!”
Adagio wasn’t sure how she made it through the mosh pit untouched. It wasn’t from any conscious effort on her part. Was she sleepwalking? Hypnotized? Or just struck dumb from the reality before her? It was one thing to suspect, but to see…
All she should be – all she ever should have been – stood onstage. Red or blue gems, what did it matter? She could see the green mist of rage-plucked magic in the air, flowing steadily towards her sisters’ gems. Glutting them with power, while the carrion pranced above.
She emerged before the stage. Her sisters leered down to her, and leaned close. They had stopped playing. Nobody cared.
“How?” Adagio asked, voice trembling with religious awe.
“We cut a deal,” Sonata said in a low, smug tone, leaving aside her ditzy facade. “You could say we got a new manager.”
This close, Adagio could feel their power. She could hear it singing from the cold jewels at their throats. She could almost taste it in her own voice, after so long without…
“Who?”
Aria squatted on the stage, almost bringing herself to eye level with Adagio. She slipped out of the guitar strap and reached into her pocket, giving a mocking laugh Adagio should have found infuriating.
“Come on, Adagio,” the purple siren teased. “Weren’t you listening to the song?”
She pulled the hand from her pocket. Something bright glinted between her fingers, and leather straps trailed behind. “I wasn’t lying back in the restaurant when I said we missed you. We spent a long time unfairly blaming you for the loss, and now’s our chance to make it up.”
A purple hand reached down to Adagio. It turned upwards and the fingers uncurled, revealing a flawless blue gem set in a choker.
Aria smiled – cruel, but no longer mocking. Police klaxons echoed in the distance. “It’ll be even better than before. Earth, Equestria, whatever we want. But we need your voice to make it happen.”
The hand reached lower, now close enough for Adagio to touch. She stared at the gem, barely hearing Aria’s next words. “So, what do you say...”
“...Leader?”
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Feeling returned to Sunset before sight or motion. A throbbing over her left eye, and a painful tenderness to her legs and chest. Two stiff, grainy bed sheets entrapped her atop a mattress that hissed and whirred mechanically.
Muttered conversation could be heard. Something nearby gave a rhythmic beep, and in the distance a man loudly demanded a sponge bath.
A hospital.
Sunset knew enough to squint as she opened her eyes. White sheets, white walls, white ceiling, and white floor, all feeding each other reflections of the barely-shaded white light bulbs above.
Blue Luna. She sat with her chin in hand, leaning listlessly and staring to the snow-clad city outside the window. Her foot tapped with pensive thought or irritation.
Sunset slowly flexed her toes and fingers. Nothing broken, or so it seemed. What happened? There was a concert…
The blue head turned, bringing their gazes together. Sunset smiled.
Luna did not. “Good morning, Dipshit.”
The glare and words sent a chill down Sunset’s back. She cringed, stammering efforts at a question before Luna cut in.
“Nope. No, nada, non, nope to your wide-eyed-and-confused routine. You’re not an evil kid anymore. You’re not a normal kid, either. You’re a grown-ass adult and you should know better.”
“What happened?” Sunset managed.
“Do I seriously have to explain?” Luna growled. She relented at Sunset’s pleading look, though turned her gaze back to the window. “God, I can’t even look at you, and I don’t even know where to start.”
“Neither do I.” Sunset rubbed her face, then jerked her hand back with a pained hiss. Black eyes. “Loud music… we had a fight…”
Memory returned, but it was like recalling a dream. Was it even real? None of them had acted like themselves. Arrogant, angry, spiteful. Just like…
...Like the Battle of the Bands.
The sirens, now strong enough to afflict Sunset. Strong enough to send a theater of two hundred into a free-for-all.
Sunset stared into the uncomfortable white ceiling. What would happen next week, at Canterlot Mountain? A crowd of thousands… but to what end? She had to make a plan with the others. Applejack, Twilight…
There wasn’t much time. Sunset sat up too quickly for the pain to warn her. She cried out as bruised muscles stretched across her back, then immediately cramped her into an agonized hunch. Tears hovered in the corner of her eyes as she stared to Luna, now looking back with cool indifference.
“Don’t try to stand,” Luna said. “Legally, you can’t leave the room.”
Sunset tried again. “What happened?”
Luna huffed. “To you? I don’t know. Other than you got the stuffing knocked out of you, so go cry a river. That little party you were at had everything bad you could think of. Alcohol to minors. Concealed weapons that got pulled. Date drugs, bought and sold. There was a riot when the cops showed and a fair chunk of the building got burned. Somehow nobody died, but there are bullet and knife wounds. You had drugs in your system on top of everything, so have fun explaining that to Celestia.”
Sunset made to speak, but Luna interrupted with a snapped, wordless roar and a side-arm slap to the window. Luna pushed off of it – not as angry now, but with a grimacing pain to her face.
Still plenty angry. “College makes you dumb. I get that. I wouldn’t even care if it was just you and me. But you know how shitty it was to be on Celestia’s side of the conversation when the hospital called? She didn’t say anything at first, she just kind of leaned against the counter and started crying. She almost fainted when the nurse handed the phone to the cop. But then when she had to speak, she was perfect: ‘Yes ma’am, thank you sir.’ Now she’s calling in favors to get your dumb ass off the hook, so whoopie for you. Consequence-free again. All it cost was a proverbial knife to your mother’s gut.”
“Aunt Luna...”
“Don’t ‘Aunt Luna’ me,” Luna snapped. “I can’t deal with this. I’m getting her. Think about what you’ll say.”
Probably for the best, Celestia did not come back immediately. Time enough for Sunset to finish piecing her memories of the concert. Her phone had mercifully been left at her bed-stand, giving her quick access to thirty-seven messages of wailed apologies from the other hunters. Sunset responded calmly, giving reminder to the group of exactly what happened, and that forgiveness wasn’t even needed. They were hypnotized by the music; nothing more.
...Except Adagio. Or at least, Sunset didn’t remember Adagio being affected. Nor had the ex-siren sent any texts.
A nurse interrupted as Sunset began scrolling for her number. Sunset didn’t question the pills, and the nurse kindly attempted to hide his contempt for the ‘druggie.’ A man’s voice called from the hallway, clarifying he wanted a sponge bath from a young female worker, and the nurse sighed and walked out just as another person came in.
Quiet as a mouse’s ghost, Celestia loitered at the door until Sunset made eye contact. Sunset beamed, and Celestia answered with a sad, stressed little smile.
Celestia held up a brown paper bag as she approached the bedside. “I made you lunch.”
“Mom, it’s not what it looks like,” Sunset said urgently.
“Of course, sweetie,” Celestia said in a tone of motherly resignation. “If anything, it’s my fault.”
Luna leaned against the door frame and sent in a deathly glare as Celestia went on.
“I talked to the police.” Celestia’s voice was breathless, her close-eyed smile trembling. “They couldn’t identify the drugs in your system and don’t know that you did anything violent, so they’ve agreed to let you go. As soon as the doctor okays it, we’ll pack up and head home.”
She opened her eyes and released a sigh. “I’m not mad. It’s alright, and it will be alright. I’m sorry.”
“Mom–”
“No. Listen.” Celestia sat down by the bed and took Sunset’s hand, staring to her with sadness. “I’ve been a terrible mother. Bringing you into the business, letting you go off with guns… of course you made mistakes. You barely had a home life before gallivanting off on your own. No normal childhood to learn things and help keep you grounded. No real experience with adulthood, and barely any as a daughter.”
Celestia shuffled in place. Her voice grew stronger, but more brittle. “We’ll make it right. We’ll move you back home. Back to your old room. You can skip a year or two and still keep the college credits.”
Sunset blinked, too wrong-footed for more than a, “What?”
“A part time job, to keep you busy.” Weak hope entered Celestia’s voice. “Donut Joe still owes me for the pastry exorcism. No monster hunting, of course. A girl your age should never have been involved. There will be curfews and such, but isn’t that alright? We can be mother-daughter again. Would that be so bad?”
“Yes!” Sunset erupted. They both recoiled, with Sunset hastily adding, “I mean, no, but listen to me! I said it’s not what it looks like.”
Sweetie, I–”
“Listen. To. Me.” Sunset gripped Celestia’s hand. Green eyes of certainty locked her mother’s gaze with the last word. “Please.”
Celestia closed her mouth. Then she opened it, and closed it again. She settled back in the chair, her broken smile replaced with a stern frown.
“I’m listening.”
Sunset seized the chance. She sat up gingerly, and spoke earnestly. “I didn’t take any drugs. Maybe their song affected my body, I don’t know. And I wasn’t involved with any of the creepy stuff Aunt Luna mentioned. I went there to check out the sirens, and yes, they’re the same sirens from C.H.S. They have their powers back, and it’s worse than ever because I used to be immune.”
“Are you serious?” Luna growled.
“I can’t make this up!” Sunset gestured wildly, ignoring the protests of her sore body. “They’re performing at the huge venue by Canterlot Mountain next Friday. Thousands of people. I don’t know what they want or what they’re trying to do, but it’s going to be a massacre if they do what they did with us.”
“Ugh. I hate getting hypnotized, just… ew.” Luna shivered and grimaced, but then turned her glare to Sunset. “I gotta say, if you’re lying to get out of trouble, I am straight up kicking your ass when I find out.”
“I’m not,” Sunset breathed. Her eyes moved desperately between them. “If I’m lying, kick my ass. But I’m not, and a lot of people are going to get hurt if we don’t act.”
“Who is ‘we?’” Celestia asked guardedly.
Sunset answered without pause. “Me and my friends. Rainboom powers, a mad scientist, an ex-siren… we can figure it out between us. What they want, how to not be affected, and how to stop them.”
Celestia sighed. “So back to hunting.”
“Mom, it wasn’t even hunting that got me into this mess.”
Celestia made a noncommittal noise and looked sidelong to Luna. “Thoughts?”
“Abstain,” Luna said with a tight frown. “You both know I’m way unqualified for this.”
“Please believe me,” Sunset whispered.
Celestia closed her eyes. She took three slow breaths, then turned her soft pink gaze back to her daughter.
The words came even more quietly than Sunset’s. “I do.”
Then, with a bargaining smile, “Can you let my group handle it?”
“I really can’t,” Sunset said honestly. “People are in danger. Like, a ton of people. Don’t ask me to walk away, you know I won’t. Not when I can help them see next Christmas.”
Celestia’s smile grew broader. She reached over and stroked two fingers through a lock of red hair. “My hero.”
A hard swallow. “I lose sleep over you, Sunset. I hear about you fighting werewolves and mole monsters, and I lie awake wondering if I was right to show you the business. I want nothing more than to keep you safe forever. But how many people would have died if I stopped you? Applejack, Sour Sweet, and more. It would be selfish of me to hold you back.”
“This time, though, we work together.” Celestia said it with authority, getting a chuckle from Luna. “I’ll set up a meeting with the other faculty. Come, and tell us everything. Work with us to formulate a plan. If thousands are at risk, this is a much bigger problem than our usual and it deserves a matching response.”
“Agreed,” Sunset said. “Mom, thank you. I...”
A loud sniff caught her off-guard. Sunset wiped her nose on the grainy sheet and tried again as hanging tears blurred her vision. “I mean… thank you. For trusting me.”
“You’ve given me every reason to,” Celestia said, though gave a wet sniff of her own. She reluctantly stood, and beckoned to Luna. “We’ll see what we can do to get you out of here. See you soon.”
The sisters left, and the moment passed. Sunset returned to her phone, tapped Adagio’s name, and held it to her ear. Only with the third ring did she realize she wasn’t quite sure what to say.
Answer came on the fourth. “Nobody calls anymore, Sunset. Just text me.”
“Wanted to make it personal,” Sunset said, then quickly clarified. “Um, in a good way. I’m checking on you.”
A droll shrug somehow sounded through Adagio’s words. “If you want to apologize like the others, don’t bother. I know how siren music works. Consider the evening forgiven and forgotten.”
“Were you affected?” Sunset asked. “I saw you in the crowd and you didn’t seem to be fighting… did your sisters talk to you?”
Adagio grumbled, “Wow, she doesn’t even ask if I’m injured.”
“Sorry,” Sunset winced. “Are you okay?”
“Something happened with Applejack and now my butt hurts.”
A nonplussed frown found Sunset’s face, and a laugh came over the line. “Joking, joking. I am intact, thank you for asking. And as to your question…”
Adagio paused. It took her a few seconds to go on, but the described feeling could not have been comfortable. “I was affected, yes, just a little slower than you. I tried to make my way forward to stop the music, but it seems I fell for it while I was in the crowd. Getting so furious for no good reason… very chilling to be on the receiving end of all that. Next thing I knew I had blood on my fingernails and was running from the cops.”
“I understand,” Sunset said. “We need to figure out how to stop them. Are you still in?”
“‘In’ against the darling sisters who gave me free tickets to my own humiliation?” Adagio gave a haughty sniff. “Very much so. Keep me in the loop.”
Sunset smiled grimly. “Will do. I’m gonna check on the others. You take care.”
“You too.”
Adagio clicked the hangup button as she spoke. No idea if the words got through to Sunset.
Whatever. Adagio tossed the phone onto her bed, pulled out a pocket mirror, and began preening. Eye shadow, hair… she had the dorm to herself with the others convalescing elsewhere, but that was no reason to get sloppy.
Her phone played a custom chime. A text from Aria.
She could wait. Adagio wasn’t finished. Lipstick, makeup…
And flawless blue gem, set in a choker at her neck.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
The faculty lounge of Canterlot High was as dim and brown as Sunset recalled. She took her old place on the room’s easy chair, now so worn she could feel its metal frame beneath her butt. Still one of the more comfortable seats available, generally shunned for its proximity to the half-full old coffee pot that seemed to double as a science experiment.
She hesitantly poked beneath her eye and nodded at the lack of pain. Seeing two black eyes in the mirror was a bit disturbing the first time, but a potion from Celestia’s stash put her injuries back in order. Zecora was a good friend to have, even if she possessed a strange sense of humor.
“Are you doing okay, Sweetie?”
Sunset met her mother’s gaze and smiled. The woman mirrored the gesture, but it was strained.
“Fine,” Sunset said. “Just nervous. The concert’s in four days, and I really don’t like that it took us this long to meet.”
“Life doesn’t stop for the hunting.” Celestia gave a calm shrug and sipped from a water glass. “And it’s not like other creatures of doom take the week off for this. Iron Will and Cranky won’t be joining us, they’re still carving up the Blight Tree. And Whooves is presently negotiating with lizard men, so it’s just us girls for today.”
“And Harshwhinny,” Luna said lowly. The mentioned woman sent her an icy glare, and the rest had the good sense to hide their smiles. For her part, Sunset could not help but picture Miss Harshwhinny in Hemline lingerie and studiously avoided looking at her.
“Then it looks like everyone’s here.” Redheart gestured to Cheerilee, Applebloom, and the rest.
Then she blinked, stood, and dragged Applebloom from the room, ignoring her protests. “I wanna be a hero, just like my sis! Come on, I can shoot better than her, and I sure as sow know more about vampires. I’ve read all the Twilight books, and–”
“Maybe when you’re a senior,” Redheart called as she tossed the girl outside, then closed and locked the door.
Nagatha Harshwhinny gave a disapproving grunt. “She will hold us to that. All you did was delay the problem.”
“Delaying problems is literally all of life.” Redheart met her gaze with a half-lidded one. “You know how it works. If we totally deny them on Monday, they run off on their own Tuesday, and we have to mount a rescue Wednesday to stop them from being the bride of Frankenstein or something.”
Harshwhinny sniffed and arched her nose. “You do know that Frankenstein was the man who made the monster, not the monster itself?”
“You do know that nobody cares?”
“If we could get focused, please,” Celestia asked gently.
“Right. Sirens.” Cheerilee blew out a sigh as Redheart sat down on the couch. “I don’t even remember what happened with them last time. How do you fight something that can control your mind?”
“I don’t think they control minds,” Luna said, leaning over the table. “Not directly. I don’t really remember my end either, but I know they did it by fiddling with our emotions. They made Celestia and I happy to follow their suggestion to make a band battle, then made the students furious and competitive. They’re like emotion-vampires for that kind of stuff, and now they’re about to do it to a concert of thousands.”
“Allegedly,” Harshwhinny added, fixing Sunset with look.
Sunset held firm. “It seems likely.”
“We can’t murder someone on ‘likely,’” Redheart noted.
“And we don’t know where they’ll be until the concert,” Celestia sighed. “We’ll have to wait. Stake it out and deal with whatever comes.”
Cheerilee arched both eyebrows. “Sure, but what do we do when ‘whatever comes’ includes magic singing that drives us crazy?”
An approving “Hm,” came from Harshwhinny’s throat, and she gave a tight stretch of the lips that probably counted as a smile. “For protection against sirens, we need look no further than that of Odysseus.”
Silence fell, and blank stares answered from the others.
“From the Odyssey,” Harshwhinny clarified, the maybe-smile twitching at its edge.
No answer. Harshwhinny looked pleadingly to Celestia, who could only give an embarrassed shrug.
“The ancient-world epic?” Harshwhinny asked through grit teeth, her face falling as she searched in vain for a sign of recognition. “Homer?”
“Simpson?” Luna unhelpfully tried.
“Fine custodians of the future you lot are,” Harshwhinny grumbled. “Odysseus used beeswax, but we have cotton swabs and ear plugs. Anything to block out the music; even loud headphones will do.”
“Will it?” Cheerilee asked.
Sunset’s eyes flashed with recollection and she bobbed her head. “Yes! Back at the band battle, Vinyl Scratch was immune because of her headphones.”
Her enthusiasm waned as quickly as it rose. “But… is that really all we can do? Just wait for them to start causing chaos?”
“That’s an unhappy part of the business,” Celestia said with a wry smile. “We won’t know where they are until then. And if we did, there would be security and police who would assuredly be on their side. Chaos is our tool as well as theirs.”
A muffled clapping began at the last words, sounded from a hand in a satin glove impacting one in a mitten. “Well said! You’re not as boring as you look.”
The words came from an empty seat no one had been looking at in that second. They turned to find it occupied by a slate-gray man in a mismatched suit, still applauding as five guns and Redheart’s flamethrower were drawn and pointed at him.
“Mister Discord?” Sunset squeaked in a confused tone.
“You know him?” Redheart asked.
“No,” Discord said, at the same time Sunset yelled, “Yes! I think he’s the one responsible for all this!”
Discord paused mid-clap, and with a click and fwoosh, Redheart ignited the pilot flame on her weapon.
The mitten pointed at Sunset, below Discord’s grin. “Incorrect. But close. I am Equestria’s Discord, here with a warning and offer of aid.”
Redheart gave a tight smile. “And we believe you, why?”
Discord pointed the mitten at Celestia, somehow also while maintaining its point at Sunset. “We met in Equestria. You made like every obnoxious mom in history and tried to show me photos of your kid. I got while the getting was good.”
Celestia was too polite to protest, but Luna was not. “If you’re trying to endear yourself...”
“Perish the thought!” Discord snapped his fingers and a tombstone labeled ‘Discord cares what some idiot humans think of him’ appeared on the table. “I am here to give information and assistance. Because, really: charming as it is, your juvenile ‘just wing it’ approach is silly on the best of days, and is obvious to anyone with a brain to be grossly inadequate.”
The hunters slowly began to stow their weapons, shuffling uncomfortably.
Except for Harshwhinny. “Our ‘juvenile’ approach results from a lack of resources, intelligence, and official backing, none of which can be easily rectified. It is the result of multiple decades of experience making the best of difficult conflicts that require creative solutions. I would not expect you to understand.”
“I saw the birth of planets,” Discord said with a lazy smile. “I can bend reality at a whim, and am a literal god. Of chaos, that is, so I know a thing or two about understanding and creativity.”
“Unearned power inhibits such traits,” Harshwhinny said in her sternest, Harshwhinniest tone. “When one can do things with a literal snap of the fingers, one develops no ability to think critically, improve talent, and overcome adversity – building blocks of both creativity and a strong character. One also develops no empathy for those who do, and so feels comfortable criticizing others for not solving problems by snapping their fingers. Which, might I add, you have not done.”
A miffed expression crossed Discord’s face. “Things get dangerous when my magic interacts with that which is here. Now do you always insult those who come to help?”
“When it is deserved,” Harshwhinny said primly. “Do you always insult those you rely on to do the actual work?”
Discord shrugged. “Yes. And before you say it, yes, I know it’s because my overpowered upbringing spoiled me from having to learn to treat others with respect. Speaking of which...”
He snapped the mitted hand, and Harshwhinny disappeared. “So anyway, what you call the Dazzlings are trying–”
“Hey!” Redheart shouted, and lurched her flamethrower back into position. The pilot light brushed against the sofa’s cloth arm as she did so, setting a very small part of it aflame.
“She’s fine!” Discord waved dismissively. “She’s in a mall in her underwear.”
Sunset blushed and covered her face. Luna raised an eyebrow. “I hate to take her side, but: concession accepted.”
Discord snorted. “Yes, yes, you’re all very witty, strong, independent women who don’t need no demigod. Except this time, you really do.”
“Please tell us why,” Celestia said calmly.
“So sweet and polite, just like Celestia-one.” Discord groaned and rolled his eyes. “I preferred the mean lady. Anyway, look: your enemies’ venue is no coincidence. There is an ancient evil buried beneath Canterlot Mountain. As the sirens play, they will evoke rage and harvest the resulting magic. It will be directed to their master, breaking him free to begin a new reign of terror. His name is Tirek–”
“Pfffft!”
Redheart made the noise with tongue and lips, chuckling as she tried to swat out her fire.
Luna laughed as well. “Tirek? Like from that overrated video game?”
“I don’t know what that means,” Discord said, irate at the interruptions. “But he’s going to be huge, utterly invulnerable, and will frankly have your media-panicked world at his nonexistent mercy. What’s more, the job is already mostly done. The sirens have been harvesting magic for a year now, and he’s been taking his share. All they need is this last big burst, and if the sirens fail, he’ll get it elsewhere.”
“I see.” Celestia – no stranger to doomsday predictions – gave a placid smile. “I do not expect you came all this way just to tell us we’re doomed.”
Discord nodded. “A fine setup for continued exposition, thank you very much. Since dropping the Dazzlings’ isn’t a permanent solution, you’ll need to take the big daddy down. The bad news is that he has more mystic power in his pinkie than your world has left in its concrete soul. Nothing you have can even dent him. You are in luck, however, for I...”
He paused, coughed a little, then went on. “...Played an absolutely essential role in the defeat of my world’s Tirek. Now, the power that beat him won’t translate exactly onto Earth, but I have an idea for how we can make it work. I’ll need Celestia-two to come with me to Equestria. The rest of you… whatever. There will inevitably be minor baddies for you to fight as well, that’s how this works, but I don’t care.”
“The Elements of Harmony?” Sunset ventured, but got a snort in response.
“Please, consider their history on Earth: a little crater and a little redemption with you, and a few broken gems for the sirens. Not exactly an ace in hoof when dealing with a prime evil of the world. We need to do this the human way, and I’ve just the ticket.”
“Which is?” Celestia asked. “I’m sorry, but I’m leery of making a trip to Equestria on the eve of battle.”
Luna nodded. “Plus, the gate only opens when the moon is full.”
“Full moon,” Discord snapped his fingers. “Done. Your astronomers will be confused but it’s not like they did anything productive anyway. As for you, Celestia-two… actually, can you start protesting when I call you that? It’s kind of annoying that you let it pass without comment.”
“No,” Celestia said pleasantly, with only the tiniest quirk to her smile.
“Of course,” Discord grumbled. “I swear, you Celestias are like plain toast… anyway, you don’t have a choice. I need you for this, it’ll take a few days, and I really don’t care to explain when you’ll see it all yourself. It’s all I can think of that can beat Tirek on Earth, so are you in?”
“In, but...” Celestia caught herself as she noticed smoke coming the sofa. “Redheart, did you set the couch on fire?”
“No!” Redheart shouted, now jumping on the flames to no avail. “I didn’t mean to!”
Cheerilee dashed for a fire extinguisher, and Celestia turned back to Discord as the minor chaos played out. “Fine. Let me stop home for a few things, and I’ll meet you at the portal.”
“It’s right outside.” Discord pointed with his thumb.
Celestia stood, and conscientiously threw her water at the fire. “Going to Equestria has some complications, especially when there might be violence after I get back. I need to change, but I can be through within the hour.”
“Then I’ll see you on the other side,” Discord said. He readied his hand for a finger-snap. “Actually, why don’t I save you a trip and just speed you home?”
“Wait!” Celestia called, and turned to Sunset. “Sweetie, be careful. I love you, don’t do anything re–”
The hand snapped, and Celestia vanished.
Discord puckered his lips and smooshed his cheeks, batting suddenly-long eyelashes with a falsetto voice. “I wuv you, my perfect sunny bunny sweetie angel daughter, so much that I’ll REPEAT IT IN EVERY DAMN CHAPTER WE SHARE!”
“Man, fuck you,” Sunset said, raising her voice over the sound of the fire extinguisher. “I like getting told that I’m loved.”
“This is Earth. Love won’t save you.”
Discord vanished with a final snap, leaving behind a frustrated Sunset. She picked irately at her chair’s frayed armrests, mumbling, “What the heck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means there’s no ‘love magic’ here on Earth.” Luna gave her shoulder a friendly shove. “We need tactically-applied violence to take down the bad guys, and that’s just what we’ll do. It also means he felt the need to throw out witty comebacks in response to familial affection, so he’s kind of a jerk.”
Sunset blew out a sigh. “You’re telling me. So what now?”
Metal jingled as Luna pulled out her keys. “Now I need to go pick up Tia, because mister demigod just sent her home without the car. You head back to your friends. Get them something set up to block the music, and see if your mad scientist can make a Plan B for Tirek. Tia’s group will convene at the school that morning then head over for the concert. We’ll see if we can’t catch them unguarded right before. If that doesn’t happen, you kids go for it once they’ve driven the crowd – and cops – crazy.”
Luna snapped her fingers. “Oh, right. One more thing, Sunset.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Luna kissed her palm, and used it to rustle Sunset’s hair. “We’ll all be together for this. It’ll be fine.”
Sunset took the bus to her dorm. It was just as well – Celestia’s preparations for Equestria left Luna more than a little disconcerted in ways that probably weren’t healthy for a developing young mind. Even driving back to the school, she had trouble looking over to the older sister.
Luna did anyway, half to confirm she wasn’t dreaming. Celestia was back in her golden bikini, although had an overcoat thrown over her shoulders. Even more curious were the rainbow leggings stretching the breadth of her long legs from ankle to thigh.
Celestia answered, though Luna did not ask. “I know, it looks ridiculous. But these materials are stretchy enough that I don’t think they’ll be destroyed when I turn into a pony. I can wear them in and out, retaining some modesty and hopefully avoiding a recreation of last time.”
Luna let the issue pass with a shrug. “Sure, fine. So long as we still win like last time. I don’t like putting our fate in the hands of some maniac.”
“To most people, we’re the maniacs,” Celestia said with a helpless smile. “If Discord’s right about some unstoppable evil rising at the concert, this is our best chance. If he’s not, I have confidence our group and Sunset’s can handle two brat pop stars.”
“Interesting,” Luna noted. “Last year it was ‘don’t you dare go hunting.’ Now you’re willingly bringing in Sunset and her group.”
Celestia looked out the window, picking idly at her bikini’s strap. “You heard us in the hospital. She’s done a lot of good, and it would be selfish of me to keep her from it.”
The steering wheel turned easily in Luna’s hands, and she pulled into the school’s parking lot for the third time that day. The untimely full moon glowed above, and she fancied she could see the Equestrian portal wobbling into existence beneath its statue.
“Stay safe.”
“It’s Equestria.” Celestia placed a pecking kiss on Luna’s cheek, then shivered as she left the car. “I’ll be much safer than you. You’re in charge without me, you know.”
“Then you better get back soon.” They traded wan, nervous smiles, but Celestia did not linger in the cold. She stomped forwards in ill-fitting boots, kicked them off at the mirror’s edge, shrugged out of her coat, and stepped into the statue’s base. Purple magic rippled with her entry, then vanished as the last bit of her went through.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Equestria: The Intermission
Principal Celestia held her breath as she entered the portal, though she knew such was only instinct. Honestly, the strangest thing about changing worlds was how utterly mundane the process felt. No sense of morphing shape or surging magic, just one step on snow and the next on crystal. Cold winter to warm palace. A foot, then a hoof.
This time was unusual in that she did actually feel the change – the bikini and leggings stretched to accommodate her increased size, and Celestia smiled as they failed to rip. A bit snug, but that was comforting. Pony nudity had always needled her conservative sense of modesty, and it was nice to have more than a tail between her nethers and the sky.
Two ponies had been talking in the mirror portal’s room, and now looked to her with surprise. Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis. Good – she could explain, and they would help get her oriented.
“Excuse me, did you see Discord come through?” Celestia asked politely, with closed eyes and pleasant smile.
Three seconds passed without response. She opened her eyes to see Twilight and Chrysalis staring to her with shrunken pupils that darted back and forth across her body.
The body of Princess Celestia, now standing before them in a tight gold bikini and thigh-high colored leggings.
Chrysalis’ horn glowed. Blood leaked from Twilight’s nose.
Green magic shot into the purple princess, bowling her over with a noise like a squeaky toy. Chrysalis scooped Celestia up and flew away, laughing with manic glee.
Things moved quickly from there. The unfamiliar body rendered Celestia helpless, and so simply along for the ride as Chrysalis winged her to the Ponyville bell tower. The changeling quickly bound her horn and forelegs in slime, though strangely not the back ones. These Chrysalis hugged and nuzzled with a happy purr, running her face along the stocking’s fabric. A kick would be easy, but with no real idea for translating it to an escape, Celestia resigned herself to awaiting rescue.
Chrysalis’ cuddles were immodest, but nothing more. Still, it came as a relief when a crowd of soldiers began to gather around the tower, with a familiar blue alicorn hovering above.
Princess Luna raised a bullhorn – entirely unnecessary given the volume of her voice. “QUEEN CHRYSALIS, RELEASE MINE HUMAN SISTER THIS INSTANT!”
“Never!” Chysalis cried. She pulled Celestia to the railing, maintaining their hug as she shook her hoof in defiance. “We’re going to get married and have a million beautiful babies together!”
“COME DOWN OR SO HELP ME, I SHALL PERSONALLY RE-ENROLL YOU FOR REMEDIAL FRIENDSHIP LESSONS AT TWILIGHT’S SCHOOL!”
Chrysalis stood and pointed. Her other foreleg kept its grip tight on Celestia’s stockings, flipping the woman upside-down. “Ha! Threats of torture mean nothing to me!”
“Hey,” Twilight’s voice snapped from below.
Chrysalis ignored it. She collapsed into a full-body hug, babbling the changeling version of sweet nothings as Celestia rolled her eyes. “All of Equestria shall be my wedding gift to you! You shall sit upon a throne of cocooned enemies, and shall have new l-l-leggings made for you every morning by annoying white unicorns. Every noon I shall worship your tantalizingly-revealed hooves, and every evening I shall destroy your cushy backs–”
A blue aura encased the two and pulled them apart, accompanied by a stern voice. “I shall never understand why mine sister has affection for you.”
Slow, loud wing flaps carried Luna to the tower balcony. She landed, sweeping her glare from Chrysalis to Celestia…
Where immediately it fell to a gagged cry and raspberry blush. “Celestia-two, what art thou wearing!?”
She went on before Celestia could answer. “Such indecency! Such indignity! Dost thou come simply to engineer scandal against thy twin?”
“No!” Celestia cried. “I wore this for modesty! You know, keeping the lady-bits hidden and all?”
Luna fixed her with a stern frown. “Preposterous, we have tails for that. Princess Celestia would never reduce herself to wearing such provocative clothes.”
“In public,” Chrysalis helpfully added. Luna rolled her eyes, and tossed the changeling from the bell tower. Cameras flashed in the distance as winged pegasi in press hats began taking pictures, though none followed Chrysalis’ fall.
Celestia flushed and unconsciously flexed her wings to shield as much of her body as she could. “I… I thought… you know, more clothes, more modesty?”
“Not at all how it works.” Luna said. Her tone softened, and she walked forward to interpose herself between Celestia and the cameras. “But I now recall thine human world follows different rules, so it seems we must simply consider this a lesson learned. Here, let us get you into something decent.”
Light flashed at Luna’s horn, and Celestia’s clothes disappeared.
“And now...”
Another flash, this one bright enough to blind Celestia. She recovered a second later to reveal they had teleported back into Twilight’s castle. Strangely enough, both appeared in chairs, with a laden tea table between them.
Luna favored her with a smile, expertly using her magic to pour tea into both their saucers while shifting to a less formal tone. “Your presence is welcome, sister from another world, unexpected though it may be. I hope you are here for a visit, but my stomach tells me otherwise. Too much strangeness has occurred this day for me to expect your arrival is coincidence.”
Celestia made to raise her tea, and with an alicorn’s instincts, did it with magic before she could think twice. The cup shattered, leaving her with an embarrassed smile. “Strangeness?”
Luna proffered her saucer, letting Celestia take a meek sip with blue magic holding it steady. “Yes. Actually, the reason the guards and I came to Ponyville. Discord has seized one of the friendship classrooms and expelled the teachers.”
“What about the students?” Celestia asked sharply. As she did so, a crash and distant rumble shook her chair, followed by a gleeful voice in the distance.
“Yona likes this new elective! Okay Mister Discord, one more wall to go!”
Another crash rattled the china on the table. The saucer in Luna’s glow remained still as she sipped calmly. “Unharmed. According to Twilight, he started this perhaps an hour ago, and has been making a nuisance around town as well. Stealing gem-cutter tools, blacksmith gear, pickaxes...”
She lowered the cup, finding Celestia with a neutral gaze. “What’s more, he emerged from your mirror. Please tell me what damage he has wrought in your world and we shall pay whatever is owed, along with our sincere apologies.”
“No, nothing like that.” Celestia waved her forelegs, nearly falling in the process. Strange, that ponies made chairs apparently shaped for humans. “My world is in peril, and he promised to help.”
“Ah. So it is you who owes an apology,” Luna took another sip. “I jest. My sister shall be informed of these events, but barring new word, I shall wait and see.”
Celestia nervously tapped her hooves together. “Sorry about… whatever he’s doing. This probably relates to my world’s problem.”
“Think nothing of it, young Celestia,” Luna said, then broke her habitual sternness with a smirk. “Hm, I do like saying that. ‘Young Celestia.’ At any rate, It would be unreasonable to hold you or anypony responsible for the literal whims of chaos. I will see to Twilight; you, to Discord. And if possible, please learn exactly why he is demolishing part of the Friendship Castle.”
Celestia bobbed her head. She stood, turned, and–
“Wait.”
Luna stood as well. She stepped forwards, pressing their necks together in a platonic embrace. “It is good to see you...”
She drew back and kissed Celestia on the nose. “...Little sister. Now go. Do what you must.”
Celestia kissed her cheek in turn, then departed for the sounds of destruction. Scattered rubble, cracking crystals… and hammers on iron? Such proved to come from an anvil, where animate hammers were beating metal heated by a small, smugly content orange dragon.
“Best. Extra credit. Ever.” Smolder lounged on a fallen crystal wall, munching idly on a handful of said debris. “Man, if the other dragons knew how good this place tasted...”
Others labored too, under the direction of Celestia’s errant ally. A pink, bird-like creature sifted for gems in the blasted terrain, while a cheerful yak pushed a cart through a smoking hole. Discord himself lounged at the teacher’s desk, sketching something out with quill and paper.
He spoke as Celestia approached, though did not look up. “Missing a chance to see ‘Princess Celestia’ in your little costume is something I will sorely regret. I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I’m making for this.”
“But why?” Celestia asked. “What is ‘this?’”
“‘This’ defeated Tirek.” Discord gestured generally to their surroundings. “Rather, it was once a diamond-shaped box that grew into a castle because friendship, but that’s neither here nor there. What is here is that the power that beat down Equestria’s Tirek birthed in the seed that formed these walls. It did so with the power of rainbows, puppies, and love, so we need to translate that into something that can function on Earth. Simple enough: a little bit of mining for the right bits, a little metal reinforcement and appropriate gems...”
He trailed off, adding a few more lines to his paper. Celestia had no choice but to bite. “Translate it, how?”
Discord righted himself in the chair. “We will make something that the dulled and hidden magic of your world can understand. Something altogether human.”
With a conspiratorial grin, he turned the page for Celestia to see. “And what is more human… than a weapon?”
Author's Note
Not the last update of the weekend.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
A fuzzy sensation marked Sunset’s return to consciousness. She felt happy, refreshed, and content. Echoes of ethereal music drifted distantly between her ears, too beautiful for memory to hold.
The echoes ended, leaving her with an empty longing. Cold, lovely sleep was disappearing to uncomfortable warmth. Her back was hot. She tried to roll, but couldn’t.
Bleary eyes opened. Lips felt dry. She was sitting upright, with silver bindings around her ankles.
It took a few seconds for her dulled mind to find the answer. Duct tape.
Sunset roused at once in a panic. She tried to pull up her knees, with the only effect being a clonk of the back of her head against someone else – Twilight, given the purple ponytail running down Sunset's shoulder. Tape ran over both their torsos and mouths, and that around Sunset’s ankles was latched by handcuffs to the couch.
Applejack sat in a chair to Sunset’s front. Could duct tape even hold her? No matter – a linked chain bound her up and down. Wallflower fared no better, hogtied on the ground with tape over her eyes and mouth.
A voice came from the other side of the couch, and Sunset went still. “So, you were trying to enslave the werewolf to be your ace in the hole. Before it broke out, anyway. Good job with that.”
Adagio. Hope thrilled, then died. Sunset peered her way discreetly, seeing all three sirens casually talking over their apple wine.
“Like you could do better,” Sonata grumbled.
“I could,” Adagio said easily. “But that just leaves me with one more question: what’s Discord’s angle? You haven’t mentioned him in all this.”
Aria traded a shrug with her blue partner. “Who?”
“Oh! He was that professor guy.” Sonata laughed and waved her hand downwards. “But, uh, there ain’t no angle, there. Pretty funny – we caught the bus one day and heard him mention your name on the phone. A little flirting, and he told us all about you and Sunset’s little business. Easy, peesy, squish-a-breezie.”
Aria gave a low grunt. “You should be grateful. Talking to him made us think about contacting you.”
Adagio glanced to the bound hunters, and smiled. “Well, well. Look who’s up.”
It wasn’t Sunset’s gaze that Adagio caught, but Applejack’s as she glared back without any attempt at subtlety. She growled lowly through her tape gag, drawing naught but a chuckle from above.
The sirens’ bickering ended at once. They stood and approached, stepping and swaying in perfect sync. Blue gems blazed at their throats, illuminating cruel grins.
Aria caught Sunset’s eyes. “Aw, what’s bothering you, Sunshit? You can tell me anything.”
The gag caught Sunset’s response. Sonata cooed, pinching at the yellow cheeks. “Poor widdle Sunshit, are you sad dat one of your widdle fwiends is a twaitor? Is your widdle heart bweaking? Do you want a kiss so–”
She interrupted herself with a laugh. “Oh-em-ef-gee, she’s crying.”
“Then give her something to cry about,” Aria muttered distractedly. She half-heartedly shoved at Twilight, though only eyed her with contempt. “Damn, I wish you were the real Twilight Sparkle. Maybe later, huh?”
Sunset’s blurred eyes found Adagio. With no voice, she tried to let her glare show all the fury the siren had earned.
Adagio only shrugged. Cool, distant. “Let me tell you something.”
She gently pushed Sonata away, yet remained standing. Her expression turned to careful neutrality. Full lips moved, and the words flowed like music. “I’m not evil.”
An effacing smile quirked to Adagio’s face, then vanished. “At least, I don’t think I am. Spiders are not evil for hunting flies, nor is flame when it burns the moth.”
A regal tilt of the head. Her gaze swept over to Applejack. “You have only yourselves to blame for this. I made no secret of the truth. We are all sharks and fish, spiders and flies. We survive and flourish on the pain of others, or we falter and die. I told you over and over, and you did not listen. You embraced me, and now feel so righteously offended that the monster now does as monsters do.”
Adagio turned from Sunset, now striding slowly to the bound farmer. Applejack flinched and trembled. Her glare grew unsteady with fear, and the siren’s grin shined white.
“You lose. Even now, wendigos – carrion of our hate – are striking your allies in their homes. Even if they are defeated it will be too late. Tirek’s power is primed. It shall erupt with the first song, and then the world shall be remade.”
She stopped before Applejack, beautiful and cruel. Manicured nails reached up and gently peeled back the gag.
“You will share it with me.”
Adagio chuckled lowly, passing her hand over her mouth. She bent down and kissed Applejack on the lips.
Sunset saw a bulge in the freckled cheek as Adagio’s tongue worked its way inside. Applejack looked stunned.
...Sunset looked away. Adagio stood and departed with the other sirens, locking the door behind.
Sunset hadn’t gotten this far without learning to grit her teeth through hopeless situations. Body and mind snapped back in gear less than two minutes after the door closed. Pulling, twisting, and looking around for anything close to hand, not that she could get her arms free.
Nothing came of it (‘Yet,’ she sternly reminded herself to add). She mentally apologized with each muffled squeak from Twilight as she jostled the girl with her struggles. Too much damn tape around the arms and body. The weak point had to be at the ankles.
Mired in her own struggles, it took Sunset a few seconds of staring down her legs to notice Applejack was rock-still. Not surprising given what the poor girl had gone through, but it was her face that arrested Sunset’s attention. Thoughtful and quiet. Gazing to the wall beyond, as though lost in careful deduction. Her lips remained tight, and a slight bulge revealed her tongue moving ponderously inside her cheek.
Applejack’s arms were bound high and tight to her body, but her hands were free. She cupped one, leaned forwards, and spat out something small and copper.
...A key. It landed gently in her palm. With dexterity few would imagine the large girl possessed, she maneuvered it easily to the lock.
A turn, a click, and a pull. Chains rattled, suddenly free of the lock which had stretched them taut. One loop around Applejack’s wrist slipped down and clattered to the floor. She shrugged, and another fell from her shoulder.
Applejack caught Sunset’s eyes. “I’m coming, girls. Hold your horses.”
She pushed with her arms, and more chains loosened. She caught Sunset again, and gave a bashful chuckle. “Daj, she, uh… kissed it to me.”
Another, more forceful push loosened the chains to the point where they seemed less to bind her than be piled around her lap. Applejack kicked, freeing her legs, and stood from the chair.
Author's Note
The thought of mean girls doing the right thing fills you with determination.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
AND THE GIRL IN THE CORNER SAID BOY I WANNA WARN YOU IT'LL TURN INTO A BALLROOM BLITZ
Machine pistols. Extra ammo. Water bottle. Fire ax.
Luna glowered as she packed. Efforts to find the sirens before the concert had been a bust. What’s more, the hunters were practically leaderless with Celestia still in pony-land. Luna was the official second, but even she could recognize well-intentioned nepotism for what it was. They missed the sirens, and now suddenly learned the concert time got kicked up so the plan to jump them right before was dead as well.
“It comes down to flying by the seat of our pants,” Luna grumbled, feeling through her pockets for the essentials. Keys, lip balm, switchblade. “It always comes down that way. Just frantically winging it and hoping for the best. How have we survived this long? One of these days… brr…”
She shivered, and her breath misted in the air. Great, the heater was on the fritz again. More bills.
Luna hesitated. Odd, that it got cold so quickly.
Odd was bad. Her instincts yelled. Luna dropped to a crouch, drawing one of the pistols.
Her brain pondered the instincts, and approved. Outside, the slow emergence of spring was turning snow to slush. No way this sudden cold was normal. Luna touched the frost-glazed window and smiled when her fingers met glass. Ice on the outside meant the instigator was likely outside, too. Good – there was something inherently creepy about fighting inside your own home, and bloodstains were a bitch to clean.
No point in waiting. Luna got her heaviest jacket and briefly pondered clambering out a window in case the doors were watched.
...Nah, best to pound through. If there was an enemy, crawling out would make herself vulnerable.
“Seat of our pants,” Luna muttered, unbolting the side door as quietly as she could. An attempt to gently shift the door revealed it to be jammed tight.
Luna grunted impatiently and gave it a fearless kick. Ice cracked around the edges and the door flew open, with Luna following. She pointed her gun forward, then to each side. Nothing. Not even strange footprints in the snow. Maybe she wasn’t targeted after all, and the freakish cold had covered the city. Hard to say which would be worse.
Maybe she had just forgotten to look up. Luna raised her gaze and pistol as motion above the awning caught her eyes.
Not something Luna had seen before, and she had seen quite a bit. It was like the front half of a horse made of ice, while ethereal wisps and snow trailed where the back should be. Its front hooves pedaled as if in a constant trot, and its eyes glowed with wintry white.
“Kelpie?” Luna ventured, then shook her head. “Wendigo? Wendigo sounds right, we’ll go with that. Thanks for the cold, ass-brain, it warned me you were here.”
Another one floated towards her from over the garage. Luna drew her second machine pistol. Light weapons, maybe not so great against ice monsters.
Time to find out. Luna aimed one-handed, leveling a gun at the closer wendigo just in time to see its eyes go black.
Noise like a distant wave filled her ears, accompanied by Luna’s own voice. “Let’s be real. Mom and Dad would still be alive if they had stopped at one child.”
Luna flinched, then grinned back savagely. “Cool, you can stick creepy thoughts in my head. Guess I’ll feel bad while I blast you.”
She fired, but yelped as the gun kicked back in her grip. Three scattered bullets went wild.
Not weak, just… got distracted. The wave was getting louder.
Luna steadied herself. Glanced nervously to the side and saw the other wendigo approaching, eyes black. “And if I had died with them, Tia would have gotten the life she wanted. Husband, baby, dog. Not some man-child sister who sits with her Cheetos and video games while Tia makes like an adult.”
She felt queasy. Something black and horrid churned within her breast. Luna crouched, then fell to one knee. Hard to even hold at that… God, she sucked.
“No,” Luna manged, though her grin was turning rictus. “You’re not sticking it in, you’re dredging what’s already there. Like the sirens. But instead of anger, you do hate.”
The wendigos floated towards her, lowering down to touch the snow. It got colder as they drew near, and the wave became incredible. “I blew it. The lives of my whole family, down the drain. Even now I’m still dead weight Tia refuses to cut loose. She won’t be young forever. But she has time. She can find her husband, carry a child… she can have all that if I do the right thing for once in my miserable life. If I stop ruining things for her and… go away…”
Luna folded down. One pistol dropped to the ground. The wendigos and their black eyes were close enough to touch.
...Couldn’t rightly miss at this range.
Five seconds of unleashed automatic fire broke into the wendigo on her left. The small bullets bounced and ricocheted off its icy flesh, but most carried chunks with them, and these chunks broke off more. The thing neighed, rearing back and cycling its fore hooves, giving an even bigger target.
Something snapped in the fourth second. A jagged crack split the creature’s frame in two, then six, then broke it apart as the bullets hammered home.
No wendigo remained, just shards of falling ice. The other’s reaction was slow, perhaps stunned at the reversal.
Luna dropped the spent pistol and snatched her fire ax from its holster. She got in a solid, two-handed chop, cracking the neck before the wendigo drew upwards and away.
Luna seized the foreleg with her left hand, using the other to give another chop. Her toes left the ground and her grip began to slide, but still she reared reared back and delivered a third. This brought an ominous crack, and the wendigo jerked and fell.
It twitched on the ground, and the black eyes glared back balefully. Hairline creases had appeared down its neck on both sides.
The tide was falling. The voice, a whisper. “I’m like her shadow. If her shadow was a love-blocking douche who drove up the electricity bill.”
“You know,” Luna said, though she did not stall her final swing. Metal struck ice, and silence fell. “Shit like that used to keep me awake for literal weeks, and that’s just me kicking it on myself. It’s always funny when some piss-ass monster thinks it can do worse.”
A car horn blared from the street. A purple sedan from some decades past, pulling up squarely in front of the driveway.
Luna sighed. She approached at a jog, pulled open an unlocked door, and clambered in next to Harshwhinny.
“Could’ve warned me about the wendigos.”
“No I couldn’t,” Harshwhinny replied primly. “Something’s wrong with my signal, and I think it’s all over the city.”
Brown-sugar lips stretched tightly with characteristic annoyance, as though Harshwhinny spoke of nothing more dire than a student prank. “Such is a common symptom of major magical up-swells. I’m sure Professor Whooves is at his machines, tracking it and postulating theories while we do the work.”
“And you came to help me first?” Luna gave her a cheeky grin. “I’m touched.”
“You were the closest,” Harshwhinny announced. “And you seem fragile to their influence. I came as soon as I had dealt with mine.”
Luna crooked an eyebrow. “Huh. What did they say to you?”
Silence passed as Harshwhinny drove swiftly down the black asphalt. At least it wasn’t snowing.
“I said, what did–”
“Do you not think it odd that they found us at our homes?” Harshwhinny cut in tersely. “Yet I don’t see them attacking the city at-large. Unsettling. We need to rally the other hunters and move in.”
Luna gazed out the window, following the logic and coming up short. She snorted as Harshwhinny stopped for a red light… but a ticket would slow them down even more, so maybe it was the right move. “Canterlot University is in the wrong direction from the mountain, and Sunset doesn’t have wheels.”
Harshwhinny released a huff. “I said the other hunters, not your indulged children. I consider it for the best that she remains far from the action.”
Sunset was in the thick of the action. She raised her shotgun, heard the tide. “I knew the concert was today, and I’m still screwing things up. This is going to be the time, isn’t it? When I finally get my friends killed.”
“Get bent!” she snarled. Her hands trembled. Shotguns didn’t care – the blast broke apart the wendigo’s front, but more closed in from around. “Wallflower, how’s it coming?”
“Excuse me,” Wallflower mumbled as she slipped between two wendigos, arms filled with Applejack’s toolbox. Louder, she answered. “I got the stuff! Sorry, sorry, I didn’t think it’d need maintenance so soon.”
The hunters clustered around a dull brown van with an open hood and “free candy” spray-painted on the side. Applejack stood guard on its left and beckoned to Wallflower. “Girl, I’m curious what you expected from a van that cost less than your Gamestation.”
Applejack raised a beefy arm to parry a wendigo’s hoof, then countered with a baseball bat in her other. She noticed Wallflower’s downcast look and gave a smile. “Lesson learned, and no hard feelings. Fact is, we’d be stuck like a pig in tar right now if y’all didn’t buy us these wheels. Just got to get ‘em turning.”
Wallflower wasn’t a handyman like AJ, but she’d taken auto classes and knew her way around a fix. She got to work, unmolested by the circling wendigos, and Applejack stepped around towards Sunset.
...Pretty Sunset. “Could’ve had her. Or Adagio. Pretty girls, and they would’ve given you a fine time for a little while.”
Applejack’s face twisted. Black waves crashed in her mind. “‘I don’t have time for dating,’ what a dang lie. Y’all know they would have moved on before long. Soon as Sunset sees the right guy she’ll remember she’s straight. And Adagio? You’re just flavor of the month to her. Two weeks and she’d have been bored. Stupid, ape-armed, redneck Applejack, of course they’re too good for you...”
A wendigo reared on her left.
“AJ!”
Sunset’s call roused Applejack just as the ice-solid hoof slammed on her forearm. She dropped the bat, staggered, then grabbed the wendigo’s head and heaved it to the ground.
The shotgun went off at a more distant foe. The wendigo was scrambling to its hooves, and Sunset ran to Applejack’s side with fear on her face. “Sweet Celestia, it got you good. Can you still stand? Can you make it inside?”
“I’m fine.” The arm stung, but Applejack used it to snatch up her bat without pause. “I’m...”
She trailed off, distantly realizing a horse’s stomp could easily snap bones. And this one hit her dead-on. Most people would have a third elbow right about now.
Heh. ‘Ape-armed.’ Applejack smiled grimly as she planted a boot on the fallen monster and swung down
“Man, you’re tough.” Sunset chuckled – a melodic tone that cut through the waves and whispers in Applejack’s mind. Wendigos weren’t so tough around friends.
Thinking her own voice might have the same effect, Applejack returned the laugh. “I need my guns out the back.”
Sunset thumbed a few more shells into her shotgun and nodded as she racked them in place. “I’ll give you as much time as you need.”
Applejack hustled to the van’s rear doors and threw them open. Guns, ammo, Twilight’s science hoo-ha, and guns. The hunters had made this vehicle their own.
…Sunset was so cool under stress.
“I’ll give you as much time as you need.”
She was talking about the guns, of course. Of course. Yet a distant smile hovered at Applejack’s lips as she grabbed her revolvers. And when she went outside and the tidal voices returned, they didn’t bother her one bit.
Twilight hadn’t gone out with the rest of them. Instead, she hurtled back to her laboratory at a run. She needed readings. Scans. If some mega-demon was on its way, they needed to know what it was made out of. With that would come its weakness. Research, solution, application. Once she had its number, this ‘Tirek’ would just be Monster Variant #79. She kept track.
Of course, all that entailed actually reaching the lab. Twilight was not built for running, or even a sustained brisk walk. Her breaths began to come hoarse and low, and she wondered if the bus would really have been so terrible. But she forgot her rubber gloves, and no way was she touching anything public without–
“Need a lift?”
The car was ridiculous. A tiny, beetle-backed machine with a horn you actually had to lean out and squeeze. The driver…
Twilight fidgeted with her glasses, wondering if Wallflower broke them worse than she thought. Hooray for duct tape. “Mister Discord?”
“You’re heading to your lab, right?” The teacher grinned, revealing one sharp canine over the lip. “Work a science miracle? Save us all? Something like that?”
Twilight drew up. She tried to look suspicious, but aching lungs bid her gasp. “Yes, but...”
Discord shrugged, and had already kicked open the passenger door. “But Sunset thinks I’m a freak-monster; yes, I know, and I lower her grade in petty retaliation. Now’s not the time. I know enough to know that Canterlot is about to have a big problem, and requires an equally large solution. Hop in.”
“I have my taser with me,” Twilight said, folding her arms.
“That’s… nice?”
“And I know the exact route home. If you try to detour, you’ll get to meet him.”
Discord tilted his head. “Him?”
“Lord Zappington the Third. My taser.”
“Fine.” Discord beckoned impatiently. “Get in. The longer we stall, the more likely some horrid calamity will strike in the meantime.”
Twilight squinted, but the man had a point, and she wouldn’t do much good if she was too exhausted to work. Something fluttered in her stomach… mere nervousness. Twilight walked guardedly around the passenger side and climbed in. Food wrappers, stale fries, and cola stains. The bus would have been more sanitary.
She gingerly used a tissue to hold and buckle the seat belt. “What’s your angle?”
“Everyone thinks I have an angle!” Discord courteously squeezed the horn twice and verbalized, “Honk-honk” before turning into the main street. “Right now, my angle is a very straight one that leads directly to your lab. You’re smart enough to stop what’s coming, you just need to invent the solution.”
Twilight was unused to such praise – she blushed, fighting to keep up her suspicious demeanor. Discord saw, and promptly erupted in a coughing fit to hide his grin.
“Actually,” he murmured, loud enough for Twilight to barely hear, “Perhaps you already have.”
“On in five, Dajy-o!”
Sonata squealed at her own joke, but did not enter the changing room. Adagio could hear the idiot prance away, and frowned at her own label. Too easy to call her that. Sonata was as dangerous as any of them.
...Even if she behaved like an idiot. An endearing idiot. When war found their mansions, the sirens had always turned to Sonata for cheer… but no, no point in thinking of the past. Their camaraderie had been an illusion, and nothing more.
Adagio felt hollow with her gem off. Salt-voiced and heavy. She turned it over in her fingers, peering into the facets. A tiny, blinking wendigo stared back from each one with cold hate, and Adagio smirked.
“Ah, so that’s what it is.” Adagio cooed, stroking her finger along the gem. “The souls of wendigos. Power and hate. I wonder how many of you are crammed in there.”
She mused, then shook her head. “Did the sirens do this? No, they had no means. Neither does Tirek, else he would devour you for himself. Which leaves… of course.”
Adagio chuckled, smugly proud of her deduction. “You did this yourselves. What harm is a frozen prison to those clawed by eternal ice? You serve Tirek willingly. I’d wager you were the ones who brought in my sisters, too. Bridging your old breadwinners and your new. You ones here bound yourselves to restore our power, so that we might restore his.”
The gem grew cold enough to pluck her fingers, but still she stroked. “We had always thought you mindless carrion. You delightful little fiends, when did you become so clever?”
The tide moved in her ears. It brought her whispers of civilization in ruins, and Tirek astride the whole world. Visions of mad blizzards and gales wormed into her mind, blanketing a north lost to starving half-men… but never starved, oh no. Then there would be no hate for the wendigos.
Adagio laughed, cruel and loud. “All that would not give you even one shred of joy. You pathetic vultures, your greatest victory would leave you as frozen and pained as you are now.”
The gem had grown so cold that spindly frost formed upon its facets, hiding the souls from view.
“You sense not all is right,” Adagio purred. “But who knows? Perhaps at the end of all this, you’ll finally be happy.”
By that, she speculated they might be destroyed and reborn in some paradise, but no point in bringing it up. Her heart burned to gloat – to rub her coming betrayal in the faces of these helpless prisoners. Harmless, surely. But if there was the slightest chance they could warn their fellows…
Well, the stakes were too high. But goodness, it would feel good. She would just have gloat later to the gang.
...If they ever spoke to her again.
Adagio pushed the thought from her mind. She strapped the gem to her neck, cold enough to feel through its lace choker.
“Showtime.”
She came to the stage. It was an outdoor concert, yet the air was strangely warm by Canterlot Mountain. Crowds had arrived despite the accelerated schedule, ready to party.
The sirens grinned and laughed. Adagio did so loudest of all, and her sisters did not realize she was laughing at them and at the brooding evil she sensed beneath the mountain.
What came next was child’s play. She would drain magic from the crowd, and keep it. And as her sisters channeled it to Tirek, she would drain that, too. It was all the same. They wouldn’t even notice once it left their bodies. The riot would be… well, if she was perfectly honest, fun, but no danger in and of itself. Then she could biff Aria and Sonata over the head once the hunters showed. No magic, no Tirek. He would yet lurk, but that sounded like a Twilight kind of problem.
“Are you bitches ready for some music?” Adagio said huskily into the microphone, drawing wild cheers. She had missed this so much. The adulation, the power…
Temptation flared, then smoldered. Her die was already cast. Yet as the speakers came to life with dull, throbbing bass, Adagio’s enticement only grew. She would be glutted on magic and possessed a gem to channel it. Why not keep both? Rewards, justly earned. Not even Sunset could begrudge her, once she learned how useful this would be.
Adagio sang the grungy metal the witless crowd adored, and devoured the green mist of their anger.
“Bring the rage and bring the pain,
She dreamed of violins and pianos, and songs to make one weep for joy. Like how Mother Hydra decreed, so long ago. Sing to inspire song; harmonize to inspire harmony.
There would be riches, of course. A… great many riches. But these would come from sponsors and royalties, not hypnotized dupes. Rewards, justly earned. Adagio grinned as she sang, so losing herself in the fantasy that they reached the first refrain before she realized something was wrong.
Her lips kept singing. Her eyes looked around. She should feel the magic flowing through her. The warm, heady high of stolen power.
No warmth at all, here. Actually, it was quite…
The gem at her throat began to hurt, its cold deepening through its cushion. She should take it off… no, then Aria and Sonata would see. So strange. She had the power, so where was the magic?
Waves filled Adagio’s ears, loud enough to drown even that awful bass. The gem glowed frozen and white, and a thousand copies of her own voice whispered as one. “The power was never yours.”
She missed a beat. Aria glared. With no better ideas, Adagio kept singing.
“Not a sin if we don’t cry,
“You are mere conduits. You feel the power, yet it is OURS. WE launched your sisters’ fame. WE shaped ourselves to their intent and made music the humans adore. WE flowed out through your voice and goaded your friends to sleep. And now WE seize the magic lured by OUR music and give it freely to HIM.”
Wendigos could not feel anything but hate. Not even amusement, so it was perhaps Adagio’s own imagination which lent their whispers a mocking tone. “WE KNOW, little siren. WE KNOW your treachery and WE do not care. You were never necessary. And now, HE rises.”
The stage trembled… the rioting crowd? It seemed too rhythmic.
The obnoxious base boomed out an instrumental, covering Adagio’s words. “Not necessary? Then why did they bother?”
“No talking during the solo,” Aria grunted.
“Guys,” Adagio said, but had no follow-up. The shaking was getting worse. She grinned weakly. “Are we… like, done? I don’t want the mountain falling on me.”
Sonata rolled her eyes and grinned. “Hakuna your tatas, he’s coming out the other side. Try not to embarrass me in front of the boss, will you?”
“Keep singing!” Aria yelled over the bass. “These songs act like worship to him, it’ll increase his power.”
“Do we want that!?” Adagio shrieked.
Aria gave her a disgusted look and turned away. “It’s either that or he thinks we betrayed him at the last minute. I don’t know about you, but I’m on the winning team.”
The instrumental was coming to an end. Aria returned to her microphone stand. She made to snatch it, then jerked back as a dagger twirled in from the side. Its blade caught the microphone handle, breaking it apart and sending pieces to the wind.
Adagio was not subtle. She let her hand drop slowly from the throw, and slipped another knife from her boot.
“Enough of this,” Adagio said coolly. Steady-handed and swift, she raised the blade to her own throat and slashed off the choker. The gem struck the ground, and she crushed it beneath her boot.
Shock on the other sirens turned to… cold smiles. Not quite what Adagio had expected. Deathly blue glowed at their throats as they drew knives of their own, while the crowd roared blindly beneath.
And at the foot of Canterlot Mountain The low clawing which had been hidden by the concert grew to a frenzy And snow shook from its highest peak as the mountain’s side burst. Colossal hooves crushed trees Curled horns scraped the sky And Tirek bellowed his name as he reentered the world.
“Hokay. The reception’s not so bad up here.”
Nurse Redheart stood on top of the school with a phone to her ear, using binoculars to watch the distant events unfold. The connection was pretty crappy and garbled, but it was with Miss Harshwhinny so whatever.
“Yeah, I see it. It’s not good… how big? Well it couldn’t step on a skyscraper, but it could use one as a stripper pole.”
“Charming,” came the droll reply. “What does it look like?”
Redheart hesitated. “Like, uh… like a centaur, except with a cow. And the top half isn’t human, it’s like an anthro cow.”
“I don’t know what ‘anthro’ means.”
“Look it up online.” Redheart allowed herself a smile. “And yeah, it’s mostly black, but has huge, ripped red muscle-arms. And it’s… sort of making a sun between its horns? And now it just shot the sun into the sky as a beam, you know, kinda taking a practice shot. Now it’s beating its chest like an ape and YES, I’M BEING SERIOUS! Would I lie about something like… THAT WAS YEARS AGO, LEARN TO TAKE A JOKE!”
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Bonus Chapter: The Wrong Side of Heaven (and the Righteous Side of Hell)
Author's Note
I originally started writing the "betrayal" chapters from Adagio's perspective, but ended up not liking that they clued the audience in to her doubts. I liked that the heel-turn ended up a surprise (for those of you who didn't already foresee it
Still, I feel good about what I wrote for Adagio, so have a little bonus chapter that takes place between the concerts.
Bonus Chapter: The Wrong Side of Heaven (and the Righteous Side of Hell)
Adagio touched her gem beneath the maroon fabric at her neck. Good thing turtlenecks were “in” this year. Else one of the others might remember the blue glow from the concert, or notice her choker held a perfect, color-shifted copy of the sirens’ old gems.
Or worse, they’d think it was another impulse buy. “You really can’t afford that.” “I worry about you, Daj.” “We’re just saying this because we…
...Care.”
Adagio paused mid-stride. She stared at the doors of the Dali Hall, mouth caught somewhere between a smile and a frown.
The former triumphed, and the expression grew as she entered the lobby. Stained brown walls and vomit-pink floors, but not for long. The usual odor of cigarettes and cat pee failed to breach her perfume. The rest of the bottle sat in her purse: an expensive Hoity brand that cost most people hundreds of dollars. But for Adagio? A sexy stance, and purring words passed through her gem-clad throat. The blushing saleswoman had been happy to oblige her a free sample. Same for the staff at the jeweler, the coffee shop, the Hemline Outlet…
Just like how she used to be. How she always should have been. Except for the strange, cold sensation when she used the gem, and the uncomfortable feeling of being watched. Small prices to pay for a return to opulence.
She kept the shopping light, for now. No sense courting another lecture. Just a modest bag in one hand, and coffee in the other. She shuffled awkwardly to get out her key, then grumbled as the doorknob jammed. She knocked and was rewarded – the door swung open from the other side, revealing… nobody?
Whatever. Adagio entered swiftly and collided with Wallflower. She ignored the now-visible girl’s meek apologies, sauntering to the common room to deposit her goods.
Her phone buzzed. A text from Aria.
She could wait. Adagio pulled her new dress from the bag, grinning greedily until Sunset slaughtered the mood.
“Another shopping trip? Adagio...”
“It was on sale,” Adagio replied, irritated that after bothering with subterfuge she faced a lecture all the same.
Twilight was here as well. The girl wore boxier plastic frames than her norm, and tilted her head to peer over them at Adagio. “Nice new watch. Was that on sale, too?”
“Girls.” Applejack’s twang broke through with authority. She emerged from her room with dorm-mom glare in place, and arms folded across her chest. “What she buys ain’t none of your business.”
“Sorry, but it kind of is.” Sunset gave a weak shrug, smiling apologetically. “Adagio, I’m worried about you.”
Applejack grimaced, but completed her steps to arrive firmly at Adagio’s side. “Me too, but she’ll ask for help if she wants it. There ain’t no reason to get pushy. Or snippy, Twi.”
Twilight quailed under her steady gaze and mumbled an apology. No magic required. Adagio’s victorious smirk fell to something more troubled when Applejack patted her shoulder – as platonic a gesture as could be imagined. Applejack smiled to her with contained worry, and Adagio responded with her best attempt at a friendly grin.
“Friendly.” Two months since the rejection, and it still hurt.
Yet her smiled quirked upwards, half from a joyous realization and half from the mess of feelings it unlocked.
Things didn’t have to be “friendly.” Not anymore. An evening alone with Applejack. Easy enough to arrange. Then hypnotic words, and a retirement to the bedroom. Cold gem at the throat, warm body beneath the hands. Hell, she could bring in Wallflower, Sunset, Celestia… whatever she wanted. Everything she wanted. As she once had. All she always should have had.
Adagio busied herself, unpacking the loot and mentally disassembling the fantasy. Evoking emotion was easy. Using it for a one-minute seductive shoplift was child’s play. But siren songs did not control, only influence. And even that could be resisted if the victim knew what was happening.
The dress was tossed listlessly to the bed. Honestly, Adagio didn’t like it. She just grabbed it because it was the most expensive thing in the store.
The new silver watch hung heavy and awkward on her wrist. Nothing here that Adagio really wanted. Not what she wanted most, anyway. That girl was still outside.
She stared to the door, pondering as she again touched the new gem. Far more powerful than the old. Strong enough to breach the Rainbooms’ defenses, and control the crowd for hours.
The fantasy returned, all but tactile within her reach. The old limits were gone. Surely it would be child’s play to control just one person…
Even the consideration brought a pleasured leer to Adagio’s face. Yet this time she did not argue with the thoughts. She shut them away, physically slapping the air as she released an embattled sigh.
...No. The answer was no. She wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Because…
…Because…
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
The Secret End Boss of "Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead"
Aria walked parallel to Adagio, circling her and grinning. Her path crossed the broken microphone, and she kicked it from the stage. “I’ll be honest, Adagio. You caught me off-guard. Never in a million years did I think you’d be this stupid.”
She exited the line of sight, just as Sonata entered. The blue siren followed Aria’s trod, and matched her smile. “Looks like somebody caught the friendship bug. It’s a terminal condition, you know.”
They circled like sharks, far enough to keep one always out of Adagio’s vision. She knew the trick well. Get the prey discomfited, spinning vainly to keep tabs on each siren. Wear their patience and sanity with the fear of daggers in the back, wait for them to stumble… then strike.
Adagio snorted. Of course she knew the trick, she invented it. Her own heels remained planted, merely eyeing each siren as they passed her by.
“Terminal, huh? And who’s going to kill me?” She gave a smirk as Aria reentered her sight. “I’m a better fighter than both of you. This is old news.”
The smirk was easily returned. “That was back when you had a gem. We’re both faster than you. Stronger than you.”
Sonata’s voice chimed in from behind. “And given current events, definitely smarter than you.”
Adagio tensed. Sonata sounded like she had stepped closer… but sirens could throw their voices with ease.
Sonata came into view. Definitely closer. “Thinner than you, too. You’ve been putting on the pounds, ‘Leader.’ Too many cheat days?”
Not worth a response. Aria could be readying a throw, and neither was more than a blink away from rushing her. More likely they’d keep trying to psych her out. Sirens were patient when on the hunt.
...Usually. Adagio arched her eyebrow. “You guys know that I’m winning, right? Every second you wait is a second you’re not feeding Tirek.”
A twitch came to Sonata’s smile. Adagio smirked broadly, and it twitched again. Perhaps Sonata would charge, taking the bait with a full offense that left her exposed…
No, Sonata knew the game as well. She rallied. “Guess we’ll have to make it up to him by offering your head.”
Adagio put one hand on her hip. Aria’s booted feet paused behind her. “Oh, yeah. Execute the traitor that you yourselves brought into the operation. That’ll impress him.”
Aria’s trod resumed, carrying her into sight while Sonata moved out. “Look up, Adagio. Tirek is here, and that means he won. No missile or army can stop him from conquering the world. Shut up and keep singing, and we’ll forget this ever happened.”
Adagio laughed. The crowd continued their riot behind her, still lost to the sirens’ magic. “You must think I’m an idiot.”
“Of course we do,” Aria sneered. But a glower found her eyes. Aria had always been the most impatient of the three; she was the one to watch.
Adagio began to turn with Aria’s orbit. Risky, giving Sonata her back, but worth it to pry the weakness. “He’s going to be cranky, you know. Though it probably doesn’t matter. I doubt the world’s new dark overlord will honor whatever he promised you.”
“He promised us nothing,” Sonata said, lower than her ditzy norm. “We get our gems, he gets his world. We serve him unquestioningly and don’t give him any reason to destroy us. We keep our powers and flourish in whatever Hellspawn empire he creates. That’s all there is to it.”
“Burn the world just so you can hypnotize people again?” Adagio snorted. “High price.”
Sonata giggled. “We’re not the ones paying it.”
Adagio shook her head. “Like it or not, you’re a part of this world. You can’t expect to destroy it and come out untouched. What affects the whole affects you.”
She laughed abruptly, throwing back her head and passing a hand over her eyes. “Man, that was so corny to say out lou–”
Aria lunged, seizing the distraction.
The bait. Her thrust sailed past Adagio’s dodge, claiming nothing but a lock of orange curls. Adagio crouched into her own swing, coming up alongside Aria to bring her knife into the armpit.
Aria saw, and danced away. Had already reached her old distance by the time Adagio finished her swing.
...As fast she she was in the good old days. Faster than Adagio, for sure.
The stalemate was over. Instincts more than ears caught Sonata’s charge from behind. Adagio spun, managing to meet the coming dagger with her own. But the slammed parry knocked her off balance, and Aria was already speeding back in.
Needed space. Adagio turned her stumble into a cartwheel, then a back-flip. It veered away from Aria, but now the pair were moving in sync. They sped, slashing at her acrobatic retreat, giving Adagio no space to land.
An over-sized amp speaker gave her the answer. Adagio flipped over it and landed, with a bare second to find her footing. A little dizzy, after those stunts. A little slow without her gem. Retreat, and they outpace her. Stand, and they flank.
Adagio charged around the speaker to her left. Only Sonata on this side. Surprise flashed in her eyes, but still the knife rose to parry with many instants to spare. Siren reflexes.
Had to shake things up. Adagio crouched and swept with her leg. Sonata danced over it neatly, dodging and lunging in one fluid move. Adagio rolled to the side, falling fully prone as the dagger sang past her ear.
Adagio kept rolling as Sonata pursued. Couldn’t get up – each roll carried her from a new thrust. Sonata wouldn’t give her the time, and Aria… at this point, she was optional.
One more roll, one more knife-stroke meeting the rubber stage. Might as well make them work for it.
Purple flashed in her tumbling vision. Aria. So fast, above her already. Knife and blue gem glowing.
Aria wasn’t wrong; not really. There was a time not long spent when Adagio would have done the same. Who cares if they were puppets, so long as they had power? To give it up for Hydra-damned friendship of all things…
How strange, that Adagio didn’t regret it.
She tried for another roll. The knife swung down.
The silly car pulled up to the entrance of Twilight’s family estate. Her lab marred the perfect grounds, its raised antennas breaking the sky alongside peaked Victorian rooftops. The gate stood closed, awaiting Twilight’s digital hand-print.
It would wait a little longer. Twilight stared to her driver, arms folded as she turned away from the grounds.
“...Yes?” Discord said, having seen fit to get out with her.
In the distance, a black and yellow beam shot into the sky. They could see Tirek, looming by Canterlot Mountain and slowing stretching his limbs.
“We’re here,” Twilight said levelly. “You can go.”
Discord chuckled weakly. Twilight’s hand slipped into a pocket and grabbed Lord Zappington.
“Do you have a plan?” Discord asked. “You know he’s going to start destroying humanity any minute now.”
Twilight’s frown remained tight and suspicious. “Data comes before a plan. I need to gather information. I need my lab. You need to go.”
“Can’t you just invent something? Or...” Discord’s voice took a conspiratorial whisper. “Maybe you already have? Some device, perhaps, that can give a solution sizable enough for the problem?”
“I don’t have a super laser,” Twilight grumbled. “Mom said no.”
“Aren’t you an adult?”
“I’m nineteen. You know how it works.”
Twilight blinked, and when she opened her eyes, Discord stood next to her. One orange-clad arm draped around her shoulder, while the other gestured to the sky. “Not a weapon, no! But something big and powerful. Or at least, something that can summon something big and powerful...”
His goading smile remained, slowly turning pained as Twilight blinked without comprehension. She shrugged out of his arm and stepped away.
Then she spun back, eyes wide as the coin dropped. “Oh, no! No-no-no. Not happening.”
“It’s your only chance,” Discord said, low and grinning.
“No. En-oh, no, and while we’re at it, fuck off.” Twilight laid her hand on the scanner, unlocking the gates, but drew Lord Zappington with her other. “I know what you’re telling me to do. I don’t know how you know about it, but frankly the fact that you do means Sunset was right. You’re bad news.”
“Nonsense, it is a master stroke!” Discord raised his finger to the air. “You could be the hero!”
Twilight took a defensive step back. “I could be the sucker. Listen, I might be a dark mistress of unholy mad science, but I’m not crazy.”
Tirek’s bellow shook the air. Discord growled through his smile. “You’re running out of time.”
“So you better stop delaying m–”
Twilight never finished the sentence, nor would she ever recall its start. Discord’s arm came down abruptly from its gestures, stretching the distance to poke directly on top of Twilight’s head.
Her thoughts scattered at the touch. Weird blue and yellow layers spiraled out from the center of her vision, blowing them like dust even further from her grasp. Her dizzy gaze fell to see her hands turn gray, standing out from the yellow and blue… the endless spiral…
No thoughts, no memories. Discord’s hand on her shoulder was a comfort, as were his words. Stability in a moment of utmost confusion. “It would have been funnier if you did this by yourself. I swear, it’s quite difficult being the only one in the world with good ideas.”
Poor man. Twilight opened her mouth to offer comfort, but couldn’t recall how.
“Same end, I suppose. At any rate: Twilight?”
She knew that much. “Yes?”
“You know of what I speak.” She did. “You have the power to fight Tirek. Do so. Be a hero.”
Thoughts and memories followed his words. They made everything clear. The spiral fell from Twilight’s vision, and her skin returned to a healthy purple.
Of course. It was so obvious.
Twilight sped to her lab, panting and grinning. She did not shut the gate, nor the doorway. Discord followed at a casual stroll, chucking as the sound of frantic science got underway from the lab’s basement. He ducked through the steel door frame – designed for Twilight’s short stature – and meandered towards the noise.
A cluttered workbench held one lone bit of cheer: a framed photograph of the rookie hunters. Taken at the steak house, after they outwitted the Sphinx. Good times.
Discord picked it up as he walked, musing over the expressions. So happy. So self-conscious, all of them. So many fears behind the eyes. Applejack cringed ever so slightly at the others’ touch, always nervous of her own sexuality. And there, Adagio’s camaraderie was a sham. Seeds of betrayal had fallen in willing ground.
“What a good story you girls have had,” Discord mused. “Laughs and tears. Sexy-times and excitement.”
“...You and all the other boring, worthless, nobodies this world has to offer.”
He tossed it over his shoulder. “This is where my plans end. This is where I stop tracking how people would behave, what they would do. No more hints on the bus to spark your inventions and lead you down the path I want. No more sly gossip to the Dazzlings.”
“Why? Well, to be honest, I don’t care what happens after I win.”
His trod carried him to the basement, where Twilight labored with furious speed. Had to move fast if she wanted to save the city. Wires were replaced, metal welded… space was an issue, but science gave apt solution. A simple change to the reality-bending formula would let her send the effect outside of town, with a statistically negligible chance of destabilizing all time and space.
She moved at a blur. Activating computers, typing coordinates, funneling power. Much in the totaled basement only existed to measure, safeguard, and limit, and these she left broken. No need for such things now; they would only get in the way.
Discord disappeared. Twilight did not notice.
A last plug. A massive switch. Pull.
No, wait. Safety goggles on. Then pull.
Screens glowed as a universe of data crossed their unthinking minds. Electricity coursed between conduits, streaking inevitably towards a wire-rimmed mirror that once served as a gateway between lands, “AND NOW DOES AGAIN!”
Twilight screamed the words, then threw her head back and laughed. The mirror’s glass was broken, but that was always mere aesthetic. It shook and crackled as it should, leaking bizarre colors into the basement.
One computer exploded. No matter, it was the one which would guide the portal to other worlds. Her destination was on Earth.
The crackling turned to a pleasant hum. The portal stabilized, and acted upon its new programming. It threw its exit north of the city, and widened the door to all possible size. And then…
Tirek loomed above pitiful Canterlot. Soon to be the first of many cities crushed under his gargantuan hooves.
There would be no empire. Tirek did not rule, he destroyed. He consumed. When he was done here, there would be other worlds to burn. It’s not that he was incapable of leadership or culture, but there was frankly no point when he could just bring ruin to the universe.
Light glowed between his horns, and he fired another practice shot into the air. He could aim for Canterlot, he supposed, but the very first blow at the first destroyed city was something to be savored.
He stretched, idly pondering giving the city’s ruler a chance to surrender. That was always fun. There’d be this little dot of a man beneath him, all their eyes would be fixed, and there’d be just the tiniest little squish. Then he would destroy the city – how all good plans ended.
Yeah, that sounded like a good way to start. Just as soon as his muscles uncramped. Especially his upper back – he squeezed and massaged it to no avail.
“Ugh.” Heedless that his voice boomed across Canterlot, Tirek flexed his head from side to side. “Ten thousand years gives you such a crick in the neck.”
His eyes smoldered with joy and hate. Ten-thousand years, buried by gods themselves in that warded tomb. Even now he felt drained. The sirens should be working to empower him… well, no matter. Nothing a little city-crushing couldn’t fix, and Tirek had grown impatient. He’d do the surrender gag next time.
Tirek ended his stretches, grudgingly conceding that crick wouldn’t leave so easily. His giant hoof took one step towards Canterlot, then paused.
The air shimmered weirdly to his left. Tirek turned, and saw a massive green gut emerge from nothing. A stepping leg followed, and such was the shaking of ground that Tirek himself wobbled and pawed to reclaim balance. Flabby clawed arms followed, and then a head of grasping tendrils and boiling eyes.
The eldritch horror paused as it emerged fully from the portal. Perhaps to orient itself. Perhaps to stare down Tirek.
Tirek did not meet its gaze. Instead he looked to Canterlot and pointed back to the thing, booming his incredulity for all to hear. “Is this supposed to be humorous!?”
A claw seized his hand, and pulled him into a savage punch. Tirek staggered, and the monster grabbed his horns and yanked his face down into its raised knee.
Tirek stumbled backwards. He spat blood that would one day become a fine monster on its own, then stood tall. He clenched both fists, snorted like a bull, and charged the interloper with a feral roar.
It was cold on the school rooftop. Redheart had packed away her earmuffs for the spring, and now stood in sore regret. She couldn’t even cover her head, with one hand on the binoculars and one on the phone.
Harshwhinny’s terse response cursed her ears. “Repeat that.”
“There’s two monsters now,” Redheart dutifully repeated. “And they’re fighting.”
“What does the new one look like?”
“A singularly cyclopean mountain, to blast the sanity of the strongest man. A crawling chaos of maddening abyss, from which the only escape is to flee to the warmth and safety of ignorance. The true heir of the world, irrefutable proof of the meaninglessness of our existence, the arrogant futility of our science, and the inevitable death of hope within a cold and uncaring universe, in which it is not meant that we should venture far.”
“Seriously, Miss Redheart.”
“It looks like a fat gargoyle wearing a squid.”
“Charming.” Harshwhinny sighed into the phone. “Miss Redheart, I am… calling a retreat. We lose no matter which of them win, and creatures of this scale are beyond our capabilities. Perhaps Miss Celestia will return with Equestrian power, but the best we can do now is evacuate and hope the military can… can avenge Canterlot.”
“Suit yourself.” Redheart shifted to get more comfortable, letting her legs dangle off the roof’s edge. She sipped from a thermos. “Coffee and vodka. Dinner of champions.”
“It will be tight in here, but I can pick you up.”
“How are the kids?” Redheart asked.
“Miss Sunset is not answering,” Harshwhinny said, with small regret entering her voice. “Miss Luna has, ah, made many passionate attempts to call. We will stop at the university after getting you.”
Redheart yawned. Time for another sip. “Go right there. I’m good.”
“Miss Redheart–”
“What? It’s the end of the world as we know it.” Redheart laughed as she tapped the red hangup button. “And I feel fine.”
She briefly contemplated tossing her phone from the edge, but dang, these things were expensive. She settled for pocketing it, lounging contentedly as she watched the titan-sized battle unfold.
Author's Note
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Even in his weakened state, Tirek was mighty. Thick red arms corded with muscles the size of buildings, wrapped in iron-like skin and topped with curved horns alight with evil magic. His four hoofed legs gave both stability and weapons, and his bucking back-kick could fell kingdoms.
Yet his opponent was an elder horror, lord of an unimaginable empire from eons before the birth of gods or demons. Not as strong as Tirek, it made up the difference in freakish dexterity, hopping and bending ape-like around his blows. It fought as a wrestler, using its superior mass to grapple, twist, and claw. Its flesh was spongy and soft, yet even this served advantage as it curled unnaturally around Tirek’s fists. Using this, the thing managed to counter and mount him, pinning Tirek and nearly crushing him beneath its unfathomable bulk.
Perhaps it would have succeeded, had the energy blasts of Tirek’s horns been limited to the front. Black beams flew backwards into the creature’s face, then as it staggered, Tirek raised and delivered a double-kick that sent it careening into the mountain.
Neither wounded nor winded, the thing propelled itself from the stony wall into a fresh assault.
Discord watched it all from his perch on top of Canterlot’s tallest skyscraper. He sat in a displaced theater seat, stuffing his face from a titanic popcorn bucket with eyes fixed upon the battle.
Courteously, he had made a second theater seat to his right. It was ignored. A copy of his own voice came from a standing position on the other side. “Seriously, Mister D? This was your big plan?”
Discord – that is, Equestria’s Discord – stood facing him with crossed arms and petulant frown. Mister D only gave him a glance, then raised a third, new hand with a television remote and clicked a button. A brief scene in time appeared, showcasing the pair in past discussion.
Mister D gave an abrupt chortle, his grumpiness falling to amused glee. He grabbed two smaller objects from the end-table – Power Pillar action figures, that he promptly began smashing into each other. The words came in a distracted babble. “You know what I really want? I want to see a real, honest-to-goodness Kaiju monster battle. Like in the movies… all the real, lovely chaos these poor humans have is their movies. Skyscraper creatures going at it in a mountain-sized throw-down. Just once before this world ends. But where would they come from, why would they fight? This poor, gray, boring world… why can’t it have a little fun?”
“You’re acting for the world’s sake?” Discord raised an eyebrow, drawing a dismissive snort.
“No, of course not. Many would die, but I’d love it.”
Mister D pushed another button, and the image vanished. “It’s not my fault that you lost your head for clever hints somewhere in between the tea parties and substitute teaching.”
“This isn’t clever!” Discord yelled. When that failed to get his twin’s attention, he brought low one gloved hand and smacked the bottom of the popcorn tub, showering Mister D with its contents. “This is stupid! If Tirek wins, he’ll drain your power and destroy you along with the rest of the world!”
A long tongue snaked out of Mister D’s mouth, licking a few kernels off his suit. “What are you, some kind of losing to Tirek expert?”
Discord bristled. “Now that you mention it–”
“I don’t actually care,” Mister D said, never turning his gaze from the fight or his mouth from its grin. “I got my Kaiju battle, and now Tirek will rain chaos down upon this complacent, sleepy world. So long as there is chaos, I myself will survive. And who know what fun that reborn Earth shall give? Unless...”
His eyes slunk over to Discord’s. “I wonder, where is your counter-play?”
“Walking the halls of a shiny crystal castle, en route to our meeting.” Discord gave a thin smile. “You are really quite lame, Mister D. Sulking about, bored, needing someone to make your chaos for you. Too much TV these days, chaos gods have no imagination. Why, if you followed my lead and joined a few tea parties, you’d be surprised at how–”
A terrifying black and red beam shot over their heads. A desperate blow as Tirek roared, hoisted from his hooves with one flabby green arm around his neck and the other holding up a hind leg. He looked injured, unlike his adversary, in the one second before the monster slammed him to the ground.
Discord hesitated. “What if the fat gargoyle wins?”
Mister D’s smile did not falter. “Oh, then we are completely doomed.”
But Discord was already gone. Mister D paid him no mind, merely producing a new popcorn bucket and watching as the battle approached its climax.
Words were inadequate. Tirek bellowed his rage, then screamed it. He staggered to his hooves once more, feeling exhaustion and pain. This damned interloper… Tirek fed on destruction, and it would not be destroyed!
Where were the sirens? This would already be over if they were empowering him like they agreed.
Words of frozen hatred whispered into his ear. The wendigos spoke of infighting among their erstwhile allies. Their plan was delayed, possibly aborted. Tirek roared again – to come so close, only to fail now…
The wendigos’ voices did not change. They knew naught but hate, yet something akin to cruel satisfaction emerged as they revealed the final contingency of their gem-froze comrades. The sirens blindly thought the reclaimed powers their own, but such was truly the wendigos’. Months of use had slid hooks in their hosts’ voices and souls, and in every scrap of power the sirens drained for themselves. Needless, so long as the sisters served well.
But of course, they did not. Tirek’s grit-tooth smile gave answer, and the wendigos bowed.
A boot slammed on Adagio’s chest.
Not a knife. A black and spiky boot. Aria’s. Adagio’s breath fled in a rush, and her momentum stopped. Her dagger fell, clattering out of reach.
The boot pressed cruelly into her ribs, reducing Adagio to shallow gasps. Evening light glinted on Aria’s blade as she… scowled?
“If you’re quite. Fucking. Finished.” Aria pushed down even harder.
Still just the boot. Adagio stared up curiously as Aria continued at a growl. “Here’s what will happen. Sonata is going to get up there and keep singing solo. You’re going to stay down, and if you even think about trying anything funny, I will kick your ass from here to Equestria.”
Curiosity turned to shock. Adagio’s eyes went wide for one second before they closed, and she laughed as loud as her compressed lungs would permit.
Another look showed mute confusion from her sisters. Adagio laughed again, and gave a breathless shriek. “You were serious!”
“We always are,” Sonata quipped, though traded an uncertain glance with Aria.
“I thought you were just trying to psych me out,” Adagio explained. Her laughter fell to coughing, and Aria lifted her boot a tiny bit. “When you guys were circling, you asked me to join back in. You were serious!”
“Yeah,” Aria muttered. “So?”
A heavier cough reclaimed Adagio’s breath. “I betray you and you want to make up. You have me at literal knife-point and you don’t ram it home. And… and you didn’t need me to raise Tirek, but you got me anyway! I can’t believe you shits, you actually care about me!”
Sonata gave a light groan. “Please. You’re useful, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh, right. And you all bitched about me having guilt!”
“No guilt, here.” Aria’s gaze went to the side, and a little more pressure eased from Adagio’s chest. “But regret? Yeah, maybe. Things weren’t easy after we left you. All the glamour of modern showbiz is on the outside. Inside it was the same, stupid scramble as before, just without our leader.”
Sonata took an unsteady breath. “We shouldn’t have left you. We’re better together. Aria and I got to talking, maybe we should just take our gems and head to Eq–”
Adagio’s leg swung up – maybe not as fast as her sisters, but not much slower. Her foot connected with Aria’s butt, sending her tumbling over Adagio’s head. The dagger fell, and Adagio snatched it on the first bounce.
Siren’s agility, Aria managed to roll into a crouch. But Adagio was on her the next instant, shoving her to the floor and placing the blade at her neck.
Aria glared upwards, nonplussed. “Bitch.”
Adagio smirked, even as she felt the cold tip of Sonata’s dagger set down on her shoulder. “You have no right to be surprised at this point.”
“Why are you doing this?” Sonata grumbled.
“I’ll let you know once I figure it all out myself,” Adagio said with a breathy chuckle.
Aria gave a groan. “You could’ve slashed my throat and then fought Sonata one-on-one. Who’s the no-kill pussy, now–”
She jerked, and only with quick reflexes did Adagio avoid cutting her neck. Aria gagged, soundlessly screaming as the gem on her throat flared white like a stricken match. She managed a pathetic cough, sending a few drops of spittle onto Adagio’s hand; and even those few drops burned and numbed her with cold.
“Adagio… run!”
Sonata managed two words before she too collapsed, choking and gasping. Cold wind in their midst. Starved, mournful neighs heralded the descent of wendigos, and from them, it was a triumphant sound. From the white of the sirens’ gems, ghostly souls began streaming out and upwards, diminishing smoke-like as they spiraled towards the dueling titans.
“Our powers!” Aria cried in a hoarse, frog-like croak.
The chill around them grew stronger, and a thousand tiny voices whispered their reply. “It was never yours. OUR power. OUR harvest.”
Unseen rope jerked upwards at the sirens’ collars, standing them upright and showing their exodus-spewing gems to the heavens. Their faces locked into silent screams, with eyes rolled back as something moved unnaturally through their throats. Four will-o’-wisp souls bobbed from each mouth, bearing frozen white lines tethered to something within.
“Now we take it ALL.”
Adagio sped, then skid. The floor had turned to ice.
Fine. She crashed deliberately into Aria, and with one flawless stroke slashed the choker from her neck. The lines to her mouth vanished and she collapsed, taking the unbalanced Adagio with her.
Aria coughed, weak but loud. Deep, desperate breaths heaved in and out, and her eyes fluttered between wake and sleep.
Adagio rose, and was slammed downwards by an icy hoof. A black-eyed wendigo loomed. Behind it, the struggles of Sonata’s body grew still as a ghostly copy emerged from her mouth. White cords wound tightly around her wrists, and the ethereal blue face screamed and thrashed uselessly as it was pulled from her body.
Black eyes bore into Adagio as the Wendigo spoke. “Leave.”
Adagio blew an errant curl from her face. She swung, burying her knife in the Wendigo’s neck.
It gave a frosty snort and kicked her again. Adagio managed to jerk her head out of the way, but the iced hoof punched solidly into her shoulder. Bones cracked and pain erupted; Adagio winced, but did not lose grip on the knife.
She pulled, forgoing the slippery ground for a twirl up and around the lodged blade. The wendigo neighed, rearing back, and Adagio turned her twirl into a leap. She impacted Sonata, dragging body and soul downwards.
No more knife. Adagio made to pull the glowing gem, then jerked back with a cry. Cold enough to burn. Even that bare touch raised pained white blisters on her skin.
Adagio sucked in her breath, then grasped the gem once more. Hydra, it hurt. A cold hoof clubbed her, and the world went black.
Yet she remained conscious. She wrapped fingers and palm around the gem and yanked for all she was worth. Fabric stretched, then ripped. Ghostly lines disappeared as the choker came undone.
Another kick, right on her eye. Adagio flew backwards, gem in hand. She heard Sonata fall, gasping, coughing, and breathing.
Adagio feebly tossed her prize away. Cold agony on her palm lingered. Could see again, but only from one eye. The other was swollen shut.
Tears sprang as Adagio pictured herself. She must look so hideous…
Aria’s voice croaked from her side. “Sorry.”
She coughed feebly. Adagio watched, helpless as the wendigos closed in. The hate-wrought fiends couldn’t even be angry with her, and that gave her a last, cruel spark of humor.
In the devouring chill, she felt something warm fall against her back. Purple hair came into sight. Aria had crawled over, and laid against her.
Sonata weakly followed her suit. “We just wanted things to go back to the way they were.”
“They never would,” Adagio said. She smiled vaguely to the nearest wendigo. It floated towards her, staring balefully. Two powerful ice hooves reared back…
Then exploded, along with the head and body.
“Rocket launcher, motherfuckers!”
Sunset’s shrill, adrenaline-fueled scream followed the blow. Barks of shotguns and automatics erupted alongside, scattering and shredding the wendigos. Some dodged upwards to find themselves hounded by Twilight Sparkle, approaching from opposite the gunfire with jet-pack and lightning gun.
Adagio smiled, though it made the pain worse. “And maybe that’s for the best.”
“Gay,” Aria groaned, drawing a feeble laugh from Sonata.
Adagio tried to laugh as well, but found she couldn’t. The noise around her faded, then vanished, and she tumbled down into a warm dark.
Author's Note
The real tragedy is that sirens spent all their lives seeking magic, when the real magic is the friendships they make along the way.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Tirek roared – but this time, it was a noise of joy. Every drop of power the sirens had stolen over the years flooded his body, borne to him in bits and scraps by countless wendigos. The process destroyed them, and Tirek absorbed their willing souls to grow stronger still. His injuries vanished, and his muscles bulged larger than ever.
The portal to his rival abomination's home remained open, and gave a glass-like reflection to the air. Tirek grinned and flexed in the mirror, then gave each titanic bicep a kiss.
Oh, how he missed this. And it was only going to get better once the first city fell.
Tirek raised an eyebrow as something loomed in the mirror. His cocky grin did not fall. He neatly side-stepped as his opponent charged, leaving one leg out to trip the eldritch monster to the ground.
Tirek reached down and heaved it up by the beard-like tentacles. “You’re old!”
A creature from before gods or demons. Old, feeble, and doddering. Tirek laughed as its claws scratched uselessly against his arms.
“You’re fat!” Tirek lifted the face above his head, then let fly with a steam-train fist into its corpulent belly. The thing sailed from his grasp, eyes bulging.
It struck Canterlot Mountain, leaving the fiend mercilessly upright. Tirek pounced in the next second, dishing it a fantastic headbutt with his twin horns.
“And you’re not scary!” Tirek unleashed a hail of punches, offering no quarter. Energized, enthused, and with ten-thousand years of frustration behind him, he worked its stomach and face, laughing even with each of is weakening counters.
He grabbed the monster’s face again and yanked it into another headbutt. It blinked bruised eyes dizzily, trying to slide down and away. Tirek seized its leg and raised the thing high above his head.
With just a brief, smug moment to contemplate how incredibly strong he was, Tirek strode heavily to the portal.
“Now get lost,” he spat, and threw his foe into the mirror. It passed through, and – already worn and unstable – the portal collapsed in its wake. Tirek paused at the sudden stillness, feeling just a touch of regret. He wished the mirror remained so he could see himself: free, mighty, and with a doomed world at his hooves.
Alas. He let the thought depart, and turned slowly towards Canterlot. Maybe he could hold the city hostage and demand a giant mirror…
Nah, he’d waited long enough.
Having once spent a month in Equestria, Principal Celestia found few surprises on her return. Foam-sword duels, Egyptian-type mummies that posed for pictures with tourists, “public executions” that involved tickling the perpetrator until they apologized… she had seen enough to understand it all to be the ho-hum norm. Even her bare few days now in Ponyville had involved three spontaneous musicals and a wildfire sparked by arguing Kirin, solved by liberal dispensation of belly-rubs.
The surprises still came, though, this time in the form of Twilight Sparkle. Celestia had long known intellectually she was a ‘princess,’ though all cues showed her a servant of the royal sisters. Time loitering in Ponyville acquainted Celestia with just how important the young princess was, told through countless tales from all she had touched. Not only that, but many said she was being groomed for succession, and Celestia could not help but wonder what course the human Twilight’s life would take.
They walked slowly together down the… ‘disrupted’ castle hall. A gouged chasm broke apart the crystal floor, helpfully bridged with a rickety slab of wood.
“I’m so sorry,” Celestia said.
“It’s fine,” Twilight sighed, then corrected herself. “It’s not your fault. ‘Discord being Discord,’ you know? Here – you first.”
Twilight gestured to the ad-hoc bridge, but Celestia shook her head. “Twilight, no. You’re the princess, you go first.”
The purple pony laughed and waved down her hoof. “Oh, come on. You’d be a princess by now if you lived in Equestria.”
“I’m no magic prodigy,” Celestia said, rustling her wings like wringing hands.
Twilight made no move to advance, and so Celestia reluctantly lead the way. The young princess followed, far perkier than her ward. “Sure, but we both lead a group of eclectic heroes in the defense of our worlds. If you ask me, that means a lot more than happening to be a magic prodigy.”
Celestia turned to find Twilight nibbling happily on the edge of her hair. Twilight flushed at the attention, then spat it out. “Sorry, bad habit. It helps me relax before a meeting.”
A smile came to Celestia. “How does it taste? Mine’s like cotton candy.”
“Grape bubblegum.” Twilight chuckled, then cocked her head. “But I thought humans didn’t have a taste to their hair?”
Celestia shrugged with her wings and walked on. Their destination was in sight, first door on the left. “Near as I can tell, I’m the only one.”
“Strange. I wonder if you were born with a little Equestrian magic? Like near an artifact, or maybe you have a–”
“HELLO!”
The pony twin of Celestia swooped towards them, booming with unusual cheer. “My student, my twin, it is good to see you both.”
She flew over their door – all that remained of the classroom’s wall. It and several rooms beside had been annexed by the Lord of Chaos for various purposes: strip-mines, gem cutters, smithies, and a break room with a ping-pong table. Discord stood in attendance with Princess Luna and Chrysalis, smiling mysteriously by the teacher’s desk with claw resting on a paper-wrapped package.
Discord slapped a riding crop to the chalkboard, on which was drawn a stick-figure representation of Tirek. Doodles occupied the margins: stink-lines coming from the armpits, “stupid” written and pointed to Tirek’s head, and “D + F” encased in a heart.
“This is Tirek,” he said, needlessly. Twilight took notes. “Well, Earth’s Tirek. He’s a demigod of evil, he’s literally stronger than Death, and he can make lasers powerful enough to write his name on the moon. In approximately now he will get loose and start using Canterlot City as toilet paper.”
Luna raised a hoof. “What is toilet paper?”
Discord cringed and sucked in his lips. “Oh, um. Celestia-two, you want to get this one?”
With her world, city, and baby at stake, Celestia answered quickly. “Later. Please go on.”
“Right.” Discord slapped his crop to the two curved horns on Tirek’s head. “All magic needs a focus, and his are the horns. Break them, you break him. Unfortunately, he’s immune to everything humanity can dish out. Even their most incredible weapons will only be drained of violent energy and empower his might. So tell me, class: what material can possibly contend with a supreme cosmic force for destruction?”
“Ooh-ooh, I know!” Twilight’s hoof shot to the ceiling, and she rocked dangerously in her seat. “Pick me! Pick me!”
“Queen Chrysalis,” Discord called, earning a disappointed groan from Twilight.
Chrysalis fluttered her eyelashes and adopted a doe-eyed look. “Why, the answer’s ‘Fwiendship,’ Mista Discord.”
“Wrong. Twilight?”
“Crystallized harmonic magic!”
“Correct.” Discord tossed a sugar cube that Twilight cheerfully caught in her mouth. Chrysalis did not get one. “The magic in this castle can affect Tirek, but the circumstances behind its use cannot be replicated. There were keys, boxes, and rainbow transformations which never got used or referenced again. Yet the magic is still here. It just needs to be channeled. Harnessed.”
With one flourished tug, he unveiled the package on his desk. Even the Celestias gasped at what laid beneath.
Chrysalis shrugged. “What is it?”
“A warhammer,” Principal Celestia breathed, though it was so much more. Head and shaft were made of the same deep purple crystal that formed the palace walls. Gold spiraled up the meter-long grip and formed seats for gems and crystals embedded at the top and base. The gilded, bright colors of Equestria, married to a weapon capable of crushing skulls.
Discord ran his paw down its length, speaking in low reverence. “Crystallized harmonic magic to break his defenses. Carved runes to give strength to the blow. Forty-karat gold to...”
“Forty-karat?” Principal Celestia asked. “It only goes up to twenty-four.”
“Forty. Karat.” Discord repeated, holding up the weapon with a cheeky smile. “Yes, this warhammer has 40-K.”
Celestia stared. Discord tried again. “Warhammer. 40-K.”
More blank stares, and he set it down with an aggrieved sigh. “Someone out there laughed, I’m sure. Look, here’s the gems: topaz to make it lighter, pure diamonds to guard against Tirek’s unholy might, and rubies to protect you from any sun-magicked alicorn you happen to ride. It is the greatest weapon this world has ever known, and thus I name it… Celestia.”
“Why that?” Principal Celestia looked askance.
“Because I want to see Celestia riding Celestia while wielding Celestia.”
“Riding? But–”
Principal Celestia allowed herself to be interrupted by the brush of feathered wings upon her own. Confused, she turned to see her pony clone standing tall by her side.
The princess looked down kindly to Celestia, then turned to her lover. “Chrysalis, is it ready?”
In response, a silver chain with a strange, gnarled black gem floated over in magic grip and latched around Princess Celestia’s neck.
Chrysalis spoke, answering the unsaid question. “I can only cram so much of my power in there. You’ll be able to stay a pony for a few hours, no more.”
“Entirely sufficient. Thank you, dear.” Celestia brushed a kiss to the changeling’s ear, and brought her gaze back to her twin. “Tirek is huge. You will need height to reach his horns. I can provide this, as well as some power to protect you. Now, let us go. Time is short.”
Luna nodded along sullenly, though did not voice her thoughts. She followed them to the mirror, then brightened. “Mine human sister! Though I am unreasonably prohibited from following, I have something for you as well.”
Her horn glowed, and Celestia’s bikini popped into place on her body. “There! Thou shall be decent upon thy return.”
Twilight hid her ogle. Chrysalis ogled freely, and Discord rolled his eyes.
“Thank you, Discord,” Principal Celestia said. “If not for you, we may have been without hope.”
She spoke with gravity, though the strange being irately waved her off. “None of that, I’m just doing this to annoy Earth’s me.”
Celestia gave a light smile, reminded suddenly of her friends. Harshwhinny, Redheart, Cranky Doodle… so few of them confessed to being ‘good guys.’
“Thank you, all the same. Whatever your motives, you are doing good.”
“A load of bunk,” Discord groaned, though did not fully hide the blush at his cheeks. “Your world is about to be destroyed. Billions dead. Intervening isn’t ‘good,’ it’s the bare minimum for what any decent Lord of Chaos would do.”
“You hear that, dumb-butt!?” He shouted abruptly, storming to the mirror. “I said it’s what any–”
He entered, and the remaining words were spoken on Earth. The Celestias followed, one wearing the hammer in a sling that she felt migrate to her shoulder as they stepped outside. Cold, gray Earth. Slush on the ground, yet it strangely felt warm beneath Principal Celestia’s bare toes. Heat emanated from her neighbor: a white alicorn princess outside Canterlot High. No sign of Discord.
“Ready?” Princess Celestia asked sweetly.
“One thing, first.”
Principal turned to princess. One throat bobbed, then the other sensed the seriousness in the human’s face and matched the motion.
“Why does my hair taste like cotton candy?”
Princess Celestia smiled dotingly and opened her mouth for a drop of quiet, kindly wit.
The human spoke first. “Please.”
Another swallow. Then, “That happened twice, now that I think about it. Whenever someone speculates why I’m like a pony, you conveniently interrupt.”
“I meant no harm,” the Princess said, her expression falling.
Of course. “Of course.” Principal Celestia’s words were soft, though her gaze didn’t move. “I used to wonder if I was like Sunset, but then I’d be you. I’m not even close to being you; we have an even bigger gulf than the Twilights. So why am I like you?”
The smile returned, as gentle as ever. Celestia stiffened, wondering if she would be brushed aside like a child. But instead there came a soft, sad laugh, and winged shrug.
The voice emerged with a fragility strange for the ageless pony. “I don’t pretend to understand why our worlds mirror each other, or why some twins are a closer match than others. I don’t even have a sensible theory for it. Neither does my Twilight, and if she is stumped, I doubt anyone in Equestria could answer that great riddle.”
The large pink eyes moved away. The princess took a hesitant step back, bringing cold into the air. “However, I do know something.”
This time it was a long, alabaster throat that swallowed first, and a human one that copied. Princess Celestia spoke low, smiling towards the ground. “I know that a much younger princess came to this world a very long time ago, and she spent many moons in its keeping. In that time, she met an English knight who was kind, clever, and strong, and this is a rare union in any land. Others called her ‘fey’ and hounded her back to her home, but not before she gave him a child.”
The pink eyes returned to their place, looking with elderly wisdom to the younger twin. Celestia stared for one second, but not two – she stepped forwards, and the princess met her halfway. She touch the white nose, and felt warmth flow through her body. Princess Celestia nuzzled her hand, earning a soft giggle.
They drew closer. Princess Celestia pressed her neck outwards, embracing as ponies do, and the principal returned it with a hug.
“We must away,” the pony said, words tinged with regret. “Climb on my back. I do not know what will happen, but I shall guard you with my life.”
“I’m scared of heights, and I have no idea how to use this.” Principal Celestia took a practice swing with the hammer, almost losing balance. The idea of wielding it while soaring aloft, under fire…
...No choice. “I’ll be fine,” she added, smiling tightly. She slipped onto her twin’s back, noting with a pleasant hum that ponies were a fair bit cushier than horses. She gripped with her knees and a paltry handful of fuzz, willing her gaze upwards as the duo ascended to the sky.
Dusk was falling. Soon it would be night. Tirek drew near, looming with the sun at his back. Beneath him stood puny Canterlot, and puny mankind.
Dusk was falling.
Yet the sun rose. Hot and high to the sky, a meteor of shining light. Such was the aura’s majesty that none could see what flew within: a regal white alicorn in noble regalia, and her rider, bearing a hammer of crystal and gold. Roasted air made a tearing noise as they passed, flying to their foe.
Deep and loud, twin voices called from the light. “We are the Dawn.”
Author's Note
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Things looked good on the ground. Wendigos were scavengers, not fighters. Even with only Sunset, Applejack, and Twilight as effective combatants, with strong hearts and automatic weapons they had no trouble dispersing the horde. Those wendigos who survived fled to the clouds, spitting curses and trailing snow from their wounds.
Above the ground… less good.
Sunset swallowed hard, gazing up and up to Tirek’s slow approach. He walked past the concert stage, but that was a small mercy with Canterlot in his path.
“Any thoughts?” Sunset mumbled, not expecting an answer.
A perky voice emerged from behind. “Did you know that if Princess Twilight came to our world, but kept her pony form, and had an accident that injured one eye and gave her a taste for human flesh, she would literally be a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater ?”
“Cool, thanks Pinkie,” Sunset said, neither looking to the girl nor questioning how, when, or why she had come. “Anyone else?”
Wallflower crouched as she gave first aid to the sirens. She raised one hand, blushing faintly. “I have an idea. But we’ll need a giant killer robot.”
Sunset paused, then turned in time with the others to look at Twilight.
Alas, the girl shook her head. “Mom said no. Also, if we survive this, I need to warn you guys about D–”
“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie Pie called, drawing a tolerant-yet-exasperated sigh from Sunset. “What if Princess Luna was annoyed at being left behind as the Celestias go to save humanity, so she bullies Queen Chrysalis for a means to keep her form through the mirror and comes with a weapon capable of destroying Tirek so you and your mom can fight side-by-side in an epic climactic battle for the fate of the world?”
The hunters gave immediate comment on the unlikelihood of this occurring.
Except for Sunset. She just looked up.
Blue wings loomed through the deepening dusk, their passage marked by the silver of hoofcups and armor. Princess Luna sped to the group without pause, descending like dark lightning to the shocked cries of all but Sunset. In a mystic aura, she held a purple crystal lance that looked to have once been a railing, ripped from its supports and quickly hammered into a crude spear-like shape.
Luna dropped the weapon into Sunset’s arms, bellowing without ceremony. “SUNSET SHIMMER! WILT THOU BE SIDELINED AT THE CLIMAX OF THY OWN STORY, OR WILT THOU RISE WITH ME?”
“Story…?” Sunset caught herself and shrugged. “You know what, never mind. I’m rolling with it.”
Applejack gave her a troubled smile. “Ain’t you scared of heights?”
“Terrified,” Sunset said, though strode towards Luna all the same.
Applejack laughed – worried, but strong. “Knock ‘em dead, Sunny.”
“I’m sure that’s the plan.” Twilight checked a gauge on her jetpack. “I’ll fly beneath and try to catch you if it goes wrong.”
Wallflower called out her own end of things. Only later would they all realize it was the first time she helped form their strategy. “The ice horses are still out there. AJ and I will guard the sirens.”
“Sounds good,” Sunset said. She turned back to grace them all with a smile. Twilight, unconscious Adagio, Wallflower… her eyes lingered a touch longer on Applejack, then turned away. She hefted the lance, mounted Luna, grabbed her mane, and–
“Rude,” Luna sniffed.
Sunset hesitated. “How else am I supposed to stay on?”
“Lean forwards, keep balance, and trust me.”
“Fine,” Sunset sighed. She released her one possible grip on the barebacked pony, then braced as Luna rocketed to the air.
Author's Note
lil bitty setup chapter
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Epic Battle for the Fate of the Heckin' Universe
The shining white aura rose high, well above Tirek and the mountain. As good a plan as the Celestias could produce: to strike as a comet, ideally destroying a horn before Tirek knew he was under threat. Kind though she might be, Princess Celestia was mercifully indifferent to the notion of honorable combat.
But in this fight, the princess was mere transportation. Responsibility for the actual blow would fall to Principal Celestia, a fact which nestled acutely in her mind. Perhaps it was for the best – Celestia flourished when relied upon, whereas otherwise she might be panicking right now. The cold of the middle atmosphere nipped even through the alicorn’s warm aura, giving Celestia new regret for her choice of wear. A gold bikini, with the ground so far beneath…
“Let’s go,” she said, and the princess obeyed.
Fearful as the ascent had been, it was nothing to the fall. Yet Celestia could not look away or cringe. She willed herself to sit upright, quietly hyperventilating as city, mountain, and demon grew rapidly before her eyes. Her terrified mind wondered if Princess Celestia would be able to pull up in time… but no, that was beyond the human’s control. All this would be meaningless if she failed her own task, and so she raised the hammer.
An unwieldy two-handed weapon. Even holding it at the ready left her unbalanced. Surely, even a successful attack would send her flying…
She forced her breathing to slow.
Sunset. Luna. The hunters, students, and city. They were counting on her.
Red and black. The form of Tirek. Celestia tightened her grip, yet a somehow brighter splotch of black appeared above his head. It grew larger–
No, closer. A scream broke from Celestia’s mouth as the princess dodged with a barrel roll, giving her a breathless second of upside-down weightlessness before they righted some bare meters from a hot, violent beam of energy streaking past.
The princess called, veering hard as more magic bolts tracked their path. “Hang on!”
“How?” came the thought, but Celestia snapped down her teeth.
The alicorn dipped and flew erratically, chased by black beams and Tirek’s taunts. “Gods, sphinxes, and titans could not best me for good! Now a woman and a horse think they can do better?”
Thunder boomed from a dark shape soaring to his other side. “Perhaps not one of each, demon, BUT WE ARE DOUBLED!”
Tirek turned – unfortunate, as that broke the lance’s aim on his horn. Luna sailed close enough to kick against his head, rushing upwards for a second pass.
“Luna!” Princess Celestia called, stabilizing as Tirek’s attention moved. “You were supposed to stay home!”
“YOU DO NOT ORDER US, SISTER!”
The white princess heaved a dramatic sigh, and sent her rider a rueful smile. “Little sisters. What can you do?”
Still several hundred meters in the air, Principal Celestia barely unclenched her jaw enough to mutter, “Please focus.”
“READY THY LANCE, SUNSET!”
“Sunset!?” Celestia screamed. “Sweetie, are you okay?”
“Yeah, Mom! Just a little barfy.”
“Be careful,” Celestia called. “And make sure to–”
A black beam forced the Celestias into a dodge, and Tirek’s voice followed. “Am I interrupting? Should I come back later?”
He bellowed laughter. Energy balled between his horns, and struck out towards both alicorns at once. They evaded, driven back ever further from their target.
“We’re going the wrong way!” Principal Celestia snapped, following the words with a nauseous belch.
“Patience,” her mount coached, stern and calm. “We are learning his measure. In his haste to destroy, our foe shows his patterns and power.”
Celestia swallowed hard, feeling bile and breakfast slink back down her throat. “I don’t know if I can keep this up.”
I have to.
“Here,” she called, interrupting herself. “I’ll lean close. Shout when you’re ready to attack.”
Principal Celestia lowered her chest, bracing as though on a roller coaster. Locked muscles and a more secure posture helped a little, but still she wondered how this could even work. Barebacked and with a clumsy weapon, how could she possibly find both the nerve and skill to strike well? How…
She shuffled, and her breath hitched as something arrested the move. She looked, almost eager for the distraction, and found the source. Thin yellow ribbons of magic, almost invisible in the aura’s white light, reached back from the princess’ horn and wrapped snugly around her waist.
They banked hard, giving proof to the sighting. Celestia slid – she felt no pressure, and even her hand passed through the ethereal bonds. Yet they held her in place all the same.
Celestia loosed a laugh bordering on hysteria. The princess heard, and amusement colored her response. “I said that I would protect you.”
Relative safety allowed courage to come with ease. Celestia brought her head up to watch the battle, feeling her nausea and terror fade to exhilaration. And even better than all that was the knowledge Sunset was secured as well.
Though no fonder of heights than Celestia, Sunset was a deal less squeamish in the air. She gripped tightly with the knees, one hand on Luna’s soft back for balance while the other deftly maneuvered her lance.
Luna swooped upside-down thrice in a row to avoid the pursuing black beams, thrilling Sunset’s heart despite all precautions. Her knee-grip slipped a little each time, and never quite reclaimed their old purchase. “Princess Luna?”
“No whining!” Luna warned.
“Do you think you can use a little magic to hold me in place?”
“Good idea.” The blue horn glowed, creating a harness around Sunset’s back. “Now aim true, Sunset! We strike now!”
They charged – blue lightning in a reddened sky, yet black beams forced them to dodge and weave. The momentum broke and Luna pulled away, followed by her tutting sister.
“Patience, Luna! Study his movements, and be more careful!”
Luna rolled her eyes and sent Sunset an embarrassed smile. “Celestia being Celestia. What can you do?”
“Please focus,” Sunset muttered, then raised her voice to a shout. “Mom, I have a lance. I need a straight line to charge him.”
“He will not give you the opportunity,” Princess Celestia called. “And he can fend off both of us at once. Stay back and try to observe his fire.”
Luna snorted imperiously, righting herself from the retreat. “Nay, I say! We will not lurk while you two steal the glory!”
“Really, Luna? Are we doing this now?” Celestia replied testily.
“Indeed!” Luna cried. Though instead of a follow-up, she sped once more towards Tirek. “We are doing this now. Huzzah!”
More black beams. The white alicorn watched the charge, discomfited and annoyed. “No change from before. She’s too aggressive.”
“And perhaps we’re too cautious,” her rider ventured. A white neck turned, uniting their eyes as Principal Celestia gave shy advice. “We may learn his patterns at a distance, but so too does he learn ours. Battles here on Earth are oft won by the party who strikes first. Delaying only gives him the chance to land that strike.”
Celestia shivered, painfully self-conscious despite all danger. A child advising a goddess.
“What do you propose?”
Somehow, the princess’ patient acknowledgment did not make it better. Perhaps nothing would. Still, Celestia pressed on. “We have to coordinate with the others.”
A light smile played on Princess Celestia’s muzzle. “I much prefer to keep Luna out of danger, and I do not doubt your instinct for Sunset is only greater.”
“Yes, but...” Principal Celestia paused. She shook her head, feeling a silly smile rise from within. “I can’t believe I’m talking about this now, but: Sunset isn’t a child, and certainly neither is Luna. Of course we want to keep them safe. I...”
She trailed off as thoughts invaded her mind. Sunset’s first night at home, sleeping on the sofa bed. Learning to shoot. Camping trips and Christmas celebrations. Graduation. Packing up for college, seemingly minutes after the adoption. Leaving with strict rules to avoid the supernatural, which she broke the very first day.
Sunset. Baby girl. Sunshine, Sunshine, ladybugs awake.
She continued, to herself as well as the princess. “You and I made a choice to be here. Who are we to deny them the same? Sometimes it is the duty of a mother or elder sister to…”
Another pause. The princess finished. “Stand out of the way?”
Principal Celestia gave a light chuckle. “Yes, but in this case: accept their aid. They are adults. They chose as we did and have the skill to back it. We must respect that.”
“You speak wisdom,” her mount said. Resigned, but accepting. She winged over to Luna’s route of retreat, easily dodging the distant shots from Tirek. “Luna, parley! Let us cooperate.”
Luna huffed. “Now thou wishes our aid?”
“Yes.” White lips gave a teasing smile. “Now I doth. Attacks have been futile, yet attack we must. How might we shift the balance when his beams easily keep both of us at bay?”
Sunset called out, eyeing the warhammer. “My weapon needs a big charge, but yours doesn’t. And his beams shoot from the top of his head, so he might have trouble aiming downwards. Maybe Luna and I can distract him while you come in low?”
The Celestias winced, not at all thrilled with placing their wards in greater danger. Princess Celestia offered a calm rebuttal. “I have a different idea: you two shall charge once more, yet this time I shall fly directly in front and bend all my magic to shielding his blows. I will be driven back, but he may not notice you until it is too late.”
“We shall not cower behind thee!” Luna gave another huff.
Celestia retaliated with her own. “And if I had agreed with Sunset’s plan, you’d complain about me ‘stealing the glory.’”
“That…” Luna paused, flushed, and continued with a smile. “Is true. ‘Tis half your fault, for I have become trained to see manipulation and coddled protection in all you do.”
“It is my instinct,” Princess Celestia said freely. “I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to cage you. We shall talk when we go home, but for now, follow me.”
She rose high. An angled approach would make a harder target. She told her rider, “Stow the hammer and crouch. Magic alone is our armor, yet what I said on the ground remains firm: I shall protect you with my life.”
“Prioritize,” the principal murmured. “If you fall, I fall with you.”
The white muzzle gave a smile. “Fear not for me. I have no intention of leaving my bones here.”
Luna rose in their wake, passing Celestia and even the mountaintop. A nod was exchanged between the sisters.
Princess Celestia tucked her head and wings, causing her own upwards momentum to speed her down like a swung flail. Fast and steep, like those giant amusement rides Celestia would never board. Down, down, faster than gravity. The princess’ magic harness was all that kept them together.
Black beams whipped past. Celestia counted three, then stopped trying as their speed only grew. Her hair trailed behind, yanking at her scalp. She curled down protectively over the warhammer, sensing the inevitable. They had been hard pressed to dodge Tirek’s attacks before. Now, not even trying…
She never saw the beam hit home. The princess jerked, and a horrible clang filled the air like a bullet hitting a bullet. And like bullets, the two veered off wildly, though a few quick flaps corrected their dive. The once-pleasant warmth around Princess Celestia grew hot, and her horn pulsed a brighter yellow.
Principal Celestia smelled something burn. She glanced back to find the bottom inch of her hair had risen from the aura, and been incinerated. Their own fate if the alicorn’s strength failed.
Another clang. Another buffet, and frantic correction.
Another, right on its heels. Tirek had their number. The heat around Princess Celestia grew stuffy and stove-like, her horn flaring orange and now sporting an ugly scorch.
She groaned with pain or exertion. Principal Celestia gripped her shoulder, though Luna’s protest stole her own. “SISTER, MOVE THINE ASSHOLE!”
“One more,” the white princess growled.
One more came. A hateful snap and an agonized cry filled the air, and the oppressive heat became shot with February cold. The white aura vanished, yet with her shield gone, Princess Celestia turned to the sword. A beam of her own magic drilled a path through the black, and her rider could not help but stare as the beam passed around them. It did not whisper nor speak, yet somehow brought her the thought of infinite, unstoppable power, destined to consume and destroy. The fate of Canterlot, and perhaps the world.
They fell. A desperate second passed as Celestia wondered if her mount was knocked unconscious, but the wings spread to glide them to a turn. Both craned their heads to watch the result, only to find it was already done.
The last, desperate flare of Celestia’s magic had given an unexpected boon, for Tirek’s eyes had been fixed upon her. He winced as she fell, blinking away sunspots as sister and daughter leveled their charge and connected lance with massive horn.
A cosmic power for harmony met one of utter destruction. “Like using flamethrower on a leaf-type pokemon,” or so Wallflower would later say. Even the very tip of the lance softened its target, allowing the shaft to break through with devastating momentum. Tirek screamed in wild rage as the horn shattered.
So too, unfortunately, did the scratch-made lance. Sunset eyed it glumly as they flew away, holding the remnant in her numbed arm. Bad-ass and awesome, but extremely painful.
The alicorns rallied at a fair distance. Smoke poured from the broken horn, and Tirek’s howl fell to implacable, glaring silence.
“Maybe he can’t shoot anymore.” Sunset offered the words just in time to eat them as a beam flew high.
“Sweetie, I’m so proud of you.”
“Focus,” Luna said, earning an irate glance from Principal Celestia. “One horn remains, and in modern parlance, Sunset and I have ‘shot our wad.’ It seems you shall steal my glory after all, sister.”
Still breathing heavily, Princess Celestia almost snapped before Luna quickly clarified. “I jest.”
The snarl turned to a breathless laugh. “It’s so hard to tell with you.”
“Tis good to be enigmatic.” Luna sniffed in mock arrogance.
“Focus,” the humans said drolly, both at once.
“Of course. Sunset’s plan, it is.” Luna watched her sister as she spoke, eyes drifting to the burned horn. “Can you manage?”
A ghost of a white aura returned, bringing warmth. Princess Celestia gave a nod. “I am not at full strength, but a dagger needs less steel than a breastplate. Noble Sunset, Dear Sister… hold his gaze.”
They flew in opposite directions, the Celestias slower and less steady. They circled towards the ground, and chill returned as the white aura went dark.
Principal Celestia opened her mouth to question, but the white head of her mount turned and offered a broad wink. They soared low, barely above the tall, gnarled trees of Everfree. Chilled air whipped at them, sending broad shivers down Celestia’s unclothed back.
Black beams shot towards the others, somehow cloudier than before. Smoke from the broken horn lent them a veering, unpredictable quality as Tirek drove off Luna’s feinting attack. Less powerful, but harder to avoid. They lingered in the air like clouds, forcing Luna onto the defense.
Tirek grinned, smelling blood and revenge.
“The plan works,” Princess Celestia said. Above her, Luna cried out as a brush of smoke seared her wing.
Principal Celestia watched the red and yellow hair bob above Luna’s back. “My baby’s in danger.”
“So is mine.”
The alicorn fell silent after her final word. Tirek’s oxen legs loomed like pillars before them.
White wings tilted, guiding the air beneath. They rose, taking the Celestias with them. Higher and higher, faster and faster.
The pair came in from Tirek’s right, thinking to approach opposite of Luna. But the changing battle had forced her in the same direction, and so Tirek saw the white alicorn charge.
He bellowed something in an ancient, evil tongue that darkened the air in its wake. Lingering smoke took bestial forms – winged minotaurs and demonic imps, barring the way with claws and axes of black smoke.
Yellow flared from a scorched horn, and Celestia did not miss the strained grunt from her mount. White light cut saber-like through the guardians, blowing a route for them to continue their ascent. A smokey claw caught Princess Celestia’s foreleg as she passed, staining her with three straight lines of red blood.
They crested the head. The last horn was in sight.
...At least, it should have been. The smoking of the broken horn gave rise to a veritable legion, growing and expanding as it raced to its master’s defense. Icy blue wendigos interspersed themselves with the smoke, neighing and charging with abandon.
White and warmth came as Princess Celestia brought her aura to life. Wendigos hissed, and smoke-creatures vanished with a cut-off scream. She surged downwards, a meteor against the final horn, but the wendigos checked her with heavy bodies of ice. They slammed into her, breaking the movement to a grappled stalemate.
They melted against her warmth, yet as one died the next charged forwards. A swarm – punching, head-butting, dying. Overwhelming the injured princess and her cooling heat, forcing her tortuously backwards. She neighed and snorted in challenge, willing heat to her aura and strength to her blasts; yet on they came, hateful and insane.
One struck a glancing blow to Principal Celestia’s leg. It would bruise in the morning. Otherwise she was untouched, for they knew to throw everything at the alicorn. So high up, above even towering Tirek’s head, what could a human do without her mount?
What, indeed.
The idea did not come until Celestia realized her harness was gone. The princess had summoned all her remaining strength in desperate fury, leaving rider precarious and unsecured at this dizzying height. Yet as Celestia looked, she realized she was not so high above the shaggy white hair of Tirek’s head.
The princess grunted as she absorbed a fresh blow, forced back just one step. She was not winning.
Celestia folded up one pink leg and then the other, squatting to a stand on her twin’s mercifully broad torso. No wendigo even looked at her.
They weren’t… quite over the head. But it was too late now.
Celestia leaped, kicking and stretching for all she was worth, left hand gripping the precious hammer. She missed the crown of the head, but long white locks gave her a handhold just beside the ear. She awkwardly began scrambling upwards, yanking with her one free hand while clutching frantically with her toes.
Utterly helpless to the wendigos. Yet as their black eyes caught hers, a beam of midnight blue cut down those near her.
“You got this, Mom!” Sunset cried as she and Luna streaked past, pursued by smoke monsters.
A last strained effort brought Celestia to the crest. The final horn loomed before her like a tree. No ax for it, but a hammer would do.
Smoke still flowed from the broken horn. The creatures turned towards her, knowing their master’s peril.
Celestia swung. The great, gilded hammer cracked the horn like soft stone. Tirek roared, and wildly shook his head against the unseen blow.
Celestia fell, but lashed out with her hand and seized the white hair. She swung the over-sized weapon clumsily with one hand, earning a second, smaller wound, but a wound all the same.
Smoke monsters charged for her. Yellow light destroyed their front ranks. Tirek bucked hard in the opposite direction, flipping Celestia and slamming her down.
She grimaced, keeping pained grip as ominous cracks sounded from her chest. But the move did not leave her at quite so vertical an angle as before. She planted her feet, chancing a two-handed blow.
Tirek shook, and at once Celestia’s tenuous footing was gone. Yet she was above the horn, and swung hard as she fell.
The blow formed a crack in the curled black bone, deep enough to find those from her other strikes. The horn snapped, and in the next instant all she could hear, feel, and breathe was smoke.
It shot out as though from a fire hose. Celestia tried to snatch the hair, but it decayed and snapped within her grip. A terrifying howl shook the world – from the smoke? Tirek? She tumbled along the head, losing the hammer, feeling the flesh beneath turn to ash. Gravity dragged her down, yet smoke blew her out and away from the crumbling fiend.
She rolled within the eruption until there was nothing more to roll onto. The smoke released its grip as she fell away. Above her, dusky blue; beneath laid nighttime shadows, and a fatal drop.
She fell in silence. If this was her time… it was a good life.
...Actually, a lot of it had been quite terrible. But it got good at the end.
Thinking such thoughts and feeling the wind chill her descent, Celestia only recalled the presence of magic space ponies the instant after a yellow aura gripped her in place.
It was warm. Somehow, that felt horrible. Upside-down, facing a still-insane drop following an insane roller coaster of an insane battle, a great deal of suppressed physical and emotional effects struck Celestia all at once.
“Down!” she shrieked.
Princess Celestia floated into view, tutting gently. “You are safe.”
Celestia barfed, depositing a brackish load to the ground below.
“Ah.” The yellow magic handled her, turning her flat facing down and rubbing her back. As this was done several hundred meters in the air, the effect was less than comforting, and Celestia barfed again.
“Sister!” Princess Celestia called past the hollow remnants of Tirek – fading to smoke, then nothing. “I am getting her straight down.”
Sunset looked worriedly to her mother, yet shook her head. “My friends might still be in danger from the sirens or wendigos. I have to see if they need help.”
“Justly so,” Luna said, bearing the crystal hammer in magic’s grip. “Sister, I am depleted. Ensure your twin’s safety, then make haste to join us. This battle may not be won.”
The white princess nodded. She gently maneuvered Principal Celestia to rest upon her back, then spread still wings to glide slowly towards the ground.
Sunset’s precaution was unneeded. After being driven from their prey, the wendigos rallied to defend Tirek and perished at his side. The only assault Sunset found on her return was one of relief and love. Applejack’s mighty arms swept her to the sky with a jubilant Wallflower and Twilight hanging on, all laughing as the big girl swung them around like children.
Somehow, Sunset’s lips met Applejack’s. She wasn’t quite sure which of them did it. She was definitely sure it was more relief than amour, and right now that was just as good.
Luna cast a suspicious glare over the sirens, yet they merely sat in dejected silence. Eyes to the ground, nervously chewing on lips and leaning into each other for warmth or comfort.
One among them met Luna’s gaze, and stood. The only injured one, with heavy black swelling around her eye. She winced with every step, limping towards Luna.
Foe this woman may or may not be, but the sight was too pathetic for Luna’s heart. Her horn glowed, setting eye and leg as they were meant to be. The limp was gone by the time the girl crossed the distance.
“Princess Luna?” The yellow siren gave something that could only charitably be called a bow.
“Greetings,” Luna said guardedly.
“My name’s Adagio. I have a favor to ask.”
Luna gestured with her horn towards the celebrating hunters. “Whilst we flew, Sunset told me of your espionage. Breaking the sirens’ song weakened Tirek, and contributed to our victory. I will hear you out, though I admit the name Adagio Dazzle is remembered darkly in Equestria.”
Adagio gave a thin smile. “You mean like Nightmare Moon?”
The petty wit was too amusing to provoke anger. Luna merely hid her smirk behind a nonplussed frown. “You have a strange way of requesting favor.”
Adagio smacked her own face and released a groan. “Smart-mouth syndrome. Punish me later if you want, I don’t even care. But Sunset told you the truth. I know it’s too late to set a price, so all I can do is beg for what I want.”
Magenta eyes shifted, looking unreadably to the hunters for one second before Adagio turned away. She stepped close, and began to whisper in Luna’s ear.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
True to Luna’s warning, Princess Celestia did not linger after bringing her twin to the ground. Her slow glide and warm whispers recovered the woman’s frayed nerves, and upon landing she produced a mug of hot tea from some aether. Principal Celestia sipped it slowly, with a downy wing embracing her shoulder. They landed next to a rural highway – grass was cold beneath her toes, yet the alicorn’s presence made all else pleasantly warm.
The drink was good, too. Some Equestrian blend, the taste of which worked wonders to set Celestia at ease.
Princess Celestia waited until the first contended sigh left the human’s lips before speaking. “I am sorry, but I must go aid the others and you are not in any condition to fight. What do you need before I leave?”
Sane thinking had returned, although Principal Celestia remained jittery and spent. She looked around, lips tightening around another sip of the lovely brew. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. It’s dark, I don’t know how to get home, and I can’t hike it without shoes. I need a ride.”
Distant lights and engines announced the presence of vehicles. The princess beamed, sliding her wing from the shoulder and using the movement to dotingly tickle Celestia’s chin. “Of course. One moment.”
Smiling pleasantly, Princess Celestia strode out onto the asphalt road. She turned to the approaching lights, and as her twin screamed a warning her horn glowed yellow.
Upright and with the tea now flung to the ground, it took Principal Celestia a few seconds for her mind to outpace her panic. She blinked three times, and with the third, saw two motorcycles and riders encased with magic, held perfectly still before the princess.
Silence and stillness reigned, broken only by the faint wobble of Celestia’s spell. She spread wings, looming regally despite her friendly tone. “Greetings, humans. I am Princess Celestia, from the magical land of Equestria. I go now to battle evil which threatens your world, and I humbly beseech you to use your motorized scooters to take this woman to her home.”
Both riders wore tinted biking helmets, hiding their expressions as they looked up to the mighty alicorn. Hesitantly, still encased in her aura, one slowly raised the arm of his spiked black jacket in a wave. “S...sure?”
“Excellent, thank you so much.” Celestia released her hold, sending the bikers wobbling for balance. She turned to her twin and gave a rapid nod. “Then it is settled. We shall meet again soon, I promise.”
“But...” four different ideas tried to claw from Principal Celestia’s mouth at once, leaving her stammering as the princess swiftly winged away. She finished lamely, “How do you know I can trust them?”
She shivered. Even colder than before out here. In the bikini, at night. Alone with two bikers.
Celestia tensed as they dismounted their rides. One was slim and short, and she could see in the moonlight their jacket was blue instead of black. The other stood nearly a full two meters tall, and seemed half as broad. Beefy arms thicker than Celestia’s thighs reached up to pull off his helmet.
The smaller one had already done so, revealing a sky-blue young woman with a shock of purple hair, smirking broadly. “Yeah, Dad. How does she know she can trust you?”
The huge man slung his helmet under one arm, revealing a square, dark blue face with slate-gray sideburns and hair. He too wore a cheeky grin, though aimed it as his daughter. “Because you, my little sugar lump fairy, will keep me in line.”
A growling blush overtook the girl’s smile. “This is why I can’t make friends with other bikers.” She chuckled grumpily, turning orange eyes to Celestia. “I go to a race or contest, and this doofus comes and shows off my baby pictures.”
“It’s because I’m so proud of you, Care Bear.”
“He isn’t nearly as bad in private.” The girl jerked a thumb to herself, then the other. “Anyway, I’m Ember, and this is–”
“Torch!” the giant declared, coming to attention as Celestia’s eyes fell on him.
“And I guess we’re your chauffeurs today,” Ember finished without a missed beat.
A trained smile emerged, shuddering in the cold. “I’m Celestia.”
She hesitated, but relief at the seeming good intentions of the pair made the truth flow easily. “And I’m sorry about this. She doesn’t know much about our world. She just came over for the fight.”
“Oh yeah, we saw you guys!” Torch took an enthused stomp forwards, but Celestia shied back and he retracted it. “Shame that big guy didn’t show up on our cameras, would’ve made a cool screensaver. Stupid demi-gods. Wait, speaking of which...”
He turned and began fussing with his bike, leaving Ember to continue. “Lucky for you and the white horse lady, We’re kind of in ‘the business’ part-time. Couple undead biker gangs and literal speed demons sometimes come by, needing a trip to Crashtown.”
Celestia gave a light chuckle. “That would explain why you’re not screaming.”
“Yeah, and it’s about to get extra important right now.”
A gunshot boomed before Celestia could ask, sending her into a jump. She saw Torch looking past her with a smoking sawed-off in hand, then turned to find a shredded zombie twitching on the ground.
“Figured this might happen.” Torch stowed the weapon – pistol-sized to his massive frame – and went on as though nothing happened. “Rise of a great evil puts all sorts of bad vibes in the air. Doesn’t look like anything major, but we’re gonna be policing graveyards for weeks.”
“I suppose we will too,” Celestia said. “I, um, have what I guess you could call a full-time group. Same with...”
She paused, quietly marveling at how easily the admission came. “Same with my daughter, Sunshine.”
Another laugh emerged as she caught herself and explained. “Her name’s Sunset Shimmer. Sunshine is just… you know.”
Torch chortled. His grin caught Celestia, and she offered a bright one in return.
Ember rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes. We know.”
She glanced to her father, then looked Celestia up and down. “You’re a bit out of season, there. We should get you a coat.”
Celestia nodded. Torch nodded, too. Ember groaned and jabbed an elbow in his ribs. “You. Should. Get her a coat.”
Celestia hid her laugh with one polite hand as Torch trundled up to her, slipping out of his leather jacket. The sleeveless black shirt beneath wasn’t great for the weather, but he had plenty of muscle to make up the difference.
She stole a look as he handed off the jacket. Fair was fair – so did he. It fit her like an overcoat, draping to her knees and well past her hands. But it was plenty warm, and smelled of oil and gunpowder.
Mounting the bike behind Torch, Celestia pondered. There was a… little factoid to note, certainly. The wrong, but natural assumption a mother would be romantically unavailable surely confused things, and the same went for a father. How could she discreetly let drop that she was single?
Torch called out awkwardly as she wrapped arms around his broad chest. “I’m single.”
A laugh came from behind. “Real smooth, Dad.”
“Me too,” Celestia said quietly. Then, “My sister lives with me. That won’t change.”
“Baby Boo over there still hasn’t moved out.”
“Dad!”
Celestia went on. The right thing to do. “I have… a history. I’m a little crazy.”
“Same with everyone in the business.” Torch’s heavy shoulders gave a shrug. “We can talk later, but uh… wanna tour the graveyards tomorrow? Blast some zombies, stop for lunch, then play it by ear?”
“I broke some ribs back there. I’ll be laid up.”
Celestia bit hard on a lip, hating that it sounded like an excuse. “But… I’ll give you my number when we get home. Call me.”
A nod came in response. Ember waggled her eyebrows at Celestia before donning her helmet. The bikers twisted keys, gunning their engines to life, and took off down the darkened road.
The hunters waited at the stage for Princess Celestia’s arrival. When that came, and with all danger neutralized, they headed for the school to see the alicorns home. Sunset’s crew piled into their van, while the ponies magically seized their siren adversaries and held them to the air.
Applejack bristled as a blue glow fell around Adagio. “She ain’t no prisoner!”
“Let it go,” the yellow siren grumbled. “I have to make sure the idiot patrol doesn’t try any last-minute stunts. I’ll see you at the statue.”
The princesses took off, wards in tow. Sunset accepted Wallflower’s meek request for her to take the wheel, and they began to follow.
Somehow, the air of celebration did not last. The van was quieter than it should have been.
Sunset was tired. The quiet suited her, but she was the leader. “How are you guys?”
Wallflower spoke quickly, as though having waited for such a chance. “She put a knife to my throat. I know it all worked out, and I know it was just part of her scheme. It still hurts.”
Applejack reached back from the shotgun seat and gripped her shoulder. “Sleep on it. Heck, we all need to sleep on it. I don’t think the band battle, or Hailgrogar ghouls, or anything else we’ve been through went as rough as today.”
Twilight fiddled with her glasses. “I can’t remember what happened very well, but I remember enough. Discord somehow hypnotized me into summoning the second creature.”
“You okay?” Sunset ventured.
“Hm? Oh, yes.” Twilight waved her down. “It’s a problem that I can be affected like that. Problems beget solutions. I shall find a preventative or curative measure, and we will be that much stronger for it.”
She interrupted herself with an uproarious, undignified yawn. “Applejack is right. It’s been a long day, and sleep will help restore mental and physical fortitude. However, after that, I think a party is in order. We did just help stop the apocalypse.”
“Ha! You’re strumming my tune, girl.” Applejack grinned and pushed her jokingly, drawing cheers of approval from Sunset and even Wallflower. Silence returned, but a more companionable kind. Wallflower snuggled close to Twilight, half-dozing in the nighttime hour, while Applejack and Sunset exchanged glances and smiles that neither of them quite understood.
Sunset even turned on the radio…
“Mayor Ma’am issued a statement after consultation with the police chief, clarifying the events which occurred this evening. According to her sources, the Neo Dazzling concert degenerated into a riot at roughly the same time that light from Venus ignited swamp gas in the Everfree, causing difficulties in cell phone use and possible hallucinations for those exposed. She also clarified that all events have good, natural reasons behind them, and that monsters do not exist. These facts were verified in an emergency city council meeting, which agreed in a 14-0 vote that absolutely nothing outside of a minor civil disturbance occurred this evening. This radio host would like to thank the Canterlot Police Force for their quick response, preventing any serious–”
...And slapped it off. Applejack chuckled, sliding her hat down over her eyes.
It wasn’t until they reached Canterlot High that words came again, broached nervously by Wallflower. “What’s gonna happen to Adagio’s sisters?”
“Man, I dunno,” Sunset said. “We don’t usually have to deal with prisoners.”
Twilight shrugged unhappily. “Objectively, they did terrible things. Objectively, no court would convict them.”
She wheezed a sigh as the van pulled into a parking space. “Objectively, we have no idea if they’re actually sorry; objectively, they’re monsters who tried to kill or enslave us, and objectively, I am not okay with us doing anything lethal.”
“Then stow the gab,” Applejack said, pulling at her seat-belt. “Let’s gather ‘round and see what’s what.”
They piled out to find the Equestrians already present. Aria and Sonata stood passively by the center statue’s mirror, eyes and arms down. Adagio lingered a little further out, talking lowly with the princesses.
Princess Celestia smiled gently to the hunters, speaking with regal grace. “Greetings. In saving the sirens from the windigos, you stymied Tirek’s power and played a great part in his defeat. You, Sunset, went further by joining us in the final battle. I thank you all for taking these brave actions in the defense of your world.”
As if already knowing their fears, she gestured to the duo at the statue’s base. “Your friend Adagio gave a suggestion for their fates, and we accept it willingly. Equestria has a place for people such as them, made safe by the attention of vigilant and powerful ponies. Not a prison, but a school. They shall be placed there and tutored with the hope that they shall learn not just what they did wrong, but why. We, in turn, shall try to understand them. If all are willing to embrace these lessons of friendship, then I believe there will fast come a day when they may live among ponies in peace and freedom.”
Sonata rolled her eyes. Aria gave an irate huff.
There was work to do. Under Luna’s stern shepherding, the pair moved without a word and passed through the mirror.
They turned back on the other side – ponies, yet not. Fish-like gills were visible on their necks, while instead of hair, they had nigh-invisible scales from head to hoof.
Luna had passed in before them, and Celestia approached after. Yet the white princess paused as she drew near the portal.
A soft pink gaze cast itself backwards, and found its mark. “Coming, Adagio?”
“Yep.” Adagio walked forwards, but got no further than a step.
“Wait!” Four throats shouted the word, each girl tearing forwards to cluster around.
The siren avoided their eyes and snarled a groan. “And this is why I wanted to leave before you got here.”
“Adagio, what the hay!?” Sunset half-shrieked, releasing an Equestrian curse from some old instinct. “We got the key, stupid! We know you’re one of the good guys. Heck, we might not have won without you!”
Adagio shrunk from the praise, pain replacing annoyance on her face. She stepped back into Twilight – the girl tried to hug her, and she frantically shoved the arms aside. Another few steps of retreat carried her from the group, letting her face them all.
They waited, arrested by the strange desperation on her face. Adagio swiped quickly at her eyes and took a steadying breath, forcing herself into calm. “Stop, just stop. You don’t understand.”
She fixed her eyes on Wallflower, who quailed under the sudden attention. “It should be obvious. Wallflower, did you think at all about why I didn’t just ‘forget’ you by the elevator? If I was so great, I would’ve let you escape and sound the alarm. Or I could’ve come clean and set my sisters up for an ambush. No muss, no fuss, no Tirek.”
Another deep breath. Adagio continued with her eyes closed. “I betrayed you. I absolutely did. All of what happened there was the real me. I didn’t decide to… ‘stay good’ until the last minute. Seeing all of you tied up like that pushed me over the edge. I pussied out. I couldn’t let it end like that.”
She gave a shaky laugh, looking to them again while meeting no one’s gaze. “I was on the fence all week. But isn’t that terrible, to be ‘on the fence’ about betraying you? I’m a shit friend, and Equestria has a place where maybe I can learn to be a better one. If I stay…”
A second laugh came, closer to a gasp. “Let’s be real. And we can even forget all the siren stuff for a minute. I want to play good music, and I can do well with that in Equestria. But who on Earth hires violinists these days? If I stay I’ll just be a debt-drowned loser, pulling you down.”
“Hey, now. None of that.” Moisture hovered in Applejack’s crystal green eyes, though she kept it from her twang. “If all else fails, we got us a nice little guest room at the farm, and a guest bathroom to boot. Y’all can count on us for anything.”
“I know.” But Adagio’s voice was glum. “You guys are the best friends a dumb, greedy siren could ever have. Now it’s time for me to start being half as good to you.”
Shielding her eyes with her bangs, she made to walk through them. To the mirror. To Equestria.
They didn’t budge.
“You, uh...” strong peach hands closed around Adagio’s shoulders. She looked up to find Applejack smiling weakly at her. “You sure you’re done thinking about it? Ain’t nothing I can do to change your mind?”
Adagio blinked, eyes wide, before adopting a cooing leer. She moved her fingertips gently along the muscular arms. “Why AJ… are you offering to be my girlfriend if I stay?”
Applejack froze. Adagio made a disgusted noise and slunk backwards. “See? See how flippin’ instinctively I try to manipulate my own friends to get what I want?”
“Now wait a dag-nab minute,” Applejack snapped. “That ain’t nothing, Daj. It ain’t nothing at all. If you being a shameless flirt was a deal-breaker, don’t you think I would have said something somewhere around the two-hundredth time you were a shameless flirt? That’s who you are, and there ain’t nothing wrong with it. You’re sneaky and conniving and you ain’t much for personal space, but I’d rather keep all that with the package than lose you.”
“EXCUSE ME!”
They both startled and turned to the source. Wallflower blushed. “Sorry. That was, um, the fourth time I tried to get your attention.”
She cleared her throat, only managing to look to Adagio’s shoes. “I don’t want my last memory of you to be holding a knife at my neck. I want to make some new memories to let that fade.”
“Okay, time-out.” Adagio crossed her hands to form a ‘T,’ with some fragile snark returning to her voice. “It’s not like I’m dying or anything. I can come back for visits. And besides...”
She pointed past them, miming a finger-shot to her sisters. “Those idiots would be lost without me. Clearly.”
“You don’t have to share their mistakes.” Twilight folded her arms, glasses shining impassively in the moonlight. “Even if you go with them now, they’ll eventually need to function without you. The best time to learn is in a controlled setting.”
She hesitated, lowering her head a fraction of an inch. The lens flare ended, showing her eyes to be tired and careworn.
Twilight stepped out of the way, breaking the human blockade. “But… it’s your decision. We have to respect that, or it’s we who are the terrible friends.” She sniffed wetly, betraying her stoic expression. “For what it’s worth: we love you. And loving someone means loving their flaws, too.”
Adagio smirked. “You stole that from Mister Rodgers’ Neighborhood.”
“Correct,” Twilight said. “You made the right decision. You might have made it earlier. You might have been completely immune to temptation, which no human ever was. Whatever. You did well by us in the end, and to see you share the fate of the losers puts me in a lot of pain.”
“It’s not a jail!” Adagio cried, but Twilight was done. The girl remained standing to the side, hands clasped tightly behind her.
Adagio’s gaze bounced from the hole formed by Twilight’s retreat to the eyes of her friends.
She gave a small, weeping little smile, and said, “Thank you.”
She stepped through the breach. The others turned to watch, but none moved to stop her. Slushy snow marked her steps as she advanced to the mirror, now halfway between Princess Celestia and her friends.
A voice came from behind. “Adagio!”
Adagio did not grow frustrated or annoyed. This was too predictable for all that. Of course Sunset had something to say.
“Comes with being a leader,” Adagio mused as she turned back. Sunset approached, fumbling with her words before settling on a simple fact.
“You know my history.”
Not a question, and so Adagio remained silent as the girl went on. “I was bad. Real bad. ‘Conquer Equestria and kill my enemies’ bad. That’s sure as heck worse than what you did now.”
She gave a breathless chuckle. “If you ask me, you fit right in with us. Because Twilight and Wallflower did some really questionable stuff, too, and now we’re heroes. We didn’t shed our past by going to Equestria. We didn’t become better people because ponies told us to. We did it because we wanted to be better, and we met people willing to help show us the way.”
Sunset extended her hand. There was meaning in the gesture – an invitation for Adagio to take it and stay.
“I guess what I’m saying is, maybe you don’t need friendship lessons. You need friends.”
Author's Note
Dear readers, thank you all for joining me for another year of irreverent action and misadventure with Sunset, Celestia, Luna, and the others. As this particular leg of our journey draws to a close, I wish to reward you by letting you decide the result of this final twist. The first comment following this chapter will be from me, posted immediately after its publishing, and invites you to cast your vote by clicking “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” on the comment. The path with the most votes by next Saturday (9/28) at *coughWhenIWakeUpcough* will be the path we shall take.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Home is where the sirens are, where the chaotic-evil demigods know your name
Sunset stood there, smiling gently. But Adagio wasn’t looking at the smile. She stared to the hand – outstretched, ready to pull her back to the life she knew. Guilt, bills, headaches… and friends.
Adagio looked over her shoulder. Princess Celestia beamed placidly, while the other sirens watched her with guarded eyes. Prisoners.
No choice, really. Adagio took Sunset’s hand and pulled her into a hug.
“Take care of yourself,” Adagio murmured. Crying, and didn’t care to hide it.
Sunset nodded, giving no further protest. No resistance came when Adagio stepped from her grasp and turned to the mirror.
Celestia’s smile remained, bright and boring as the sun. Yet both Aria and Sonata wore a twisting grimace as Adagio approached. The pair traded a glance and nod, coming to some unspoken union, and walked back through the portal to Earth.
Adagio hesitated. Were they coming back to greet her? Unexpected, but whatever. She gave them a weak, tear-stained smile.
Sonata rolled her eyes. Aria looked away.
The duo parted as they reached Adagio, with Sonata coming around to the other side.
“You think we’re idiots,” Aria said, stopping right in front of Adagio.
“Prove me wrong.” Sappy as Adagio felt, her snark came instinctively.
“Maybe later.”
Aria shoved as she said the words. The startled Adagio staggered, then tripped over Sonata’s outstretched leg, sending her butt-first to the snow.
The pair smirked down to her, but gave no taunts or mockery. Adagio wiped her eyes, and when she looked again, Sonata had squatted down with a nervous laugh.
The ditzy voice came, lacking any hint of cruel humor. “So… I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but this is dumb.”
Aria folded her arms, looking to Adagio with as soft an expression as she ever wore. “Adagio, we’ve had our disagreements…”
“Knife fights!” Sonata cheered.
A vein throbbed once on Aria’s forehead. “Yes, thank you, Sonata. But Adagio: we’re not going to screw this up. We’re going to figure out how to be good, okay?”
Adagio raised an eyebrow.
Aria groaned. “Fine, we’re going to figure out how to be less evil. But you’re already there. You helped save the stupid world, for crying out loud, even though it meant giving up what you love. You don’t need the ponies and you don’t need us, so what the heck are you doing?”
“You need me,” Adagio countered. “And Earth sucks next to Equestria. You know it, we all know it.”
Sonata gave a dry groan. “Seriously? If there’s a smart, ruthless bitch who can go for her dreams and actually find them here, it’s you.”
“And as for us...” Aria sighed and shrugged. “We’re going to a safe place. We want to make it work. There will be hangups, but I think this is something we need to do on our own. We need to get smart, and that won’t happen if you’re around to make all the smart choices for us.”
Another hard sigh. “You have friends. You’re important here – as a member of a team, and a part of people’s lives. The stage you’re at now is what Sonata and I need to reach.”
Sonata stood from her crouch with a strange, peaceful smile and offered a hand down to Adagio. “Tell you what: let us get better from our end, and you get better from yours. We’ll meet up somewhere downstream and compare notes.”
Adagio accepted the hand and allowed herself to be hauled to her feet. She embraced her sisters, and the three gripped each other harder than ever before.
The goodbyes were brief. No point in lingering. Celestia seemed to look on proudly, but Adagio suspected she would have done so no matter the end.
Adagio waved as her sisters went through the portal, this time for good. For now. They didn’t turn back, and Celestia followed them in.
Snow was falling. Maybe the last one of the year.
Dark and cold, yet the city cast her friends in low illumination. They had stood back respectfully during the last confrontation, and now smiled to her with quiet welcome. No unneeded cheers, or questioning why she allowed her mind to change. They were cool like that.
Laughter flowed up through Adagio’s throat. Such an odd group. Applejack was so tall that Wallflower looked like a midget standing next to her. Twilight hunted in a white lab coat of all the silly things, and Sunset… wasn’t she the strangest of them all? Ex-pony and would-be tyrant, turned to an adoring daughter, bad-ass monster hunter, and sickening goody two-shoes.
Perfect friends for a washed-up siren with ambitions of stardom and a fondness for knives.
She spread her arms wide, inviting a hug. The rest followed inevitably.
The next day.
Luna entered the living room, shoving cheese sticks and spare ammunition into her purse. “Sis, I’m heading back out.”
Celestia gave a “Mm,” and nothing more. She lounged sideways on the couch, with cold packs against her cracked ribs.
“Need anything?”
“Mm.”
Bruised as she was, Celestia’s expression held only a small, giddy little smile. Her fingers tapped the phone, sending out an endless stream of texts. The crystal hammer – which Luna still hadn’t received an explanation for – sat ignored, leaning in a corner until they decided where to store it.
“How’s Sunset?”
“Mm.”
“Man, I wish I had been with you guys. I’ll take space pony air raids against graveyard duty with Harshwhinny any day of the week.”
“Two years ago, you rode a unicorn into battle and saved the school.” Celestia finally gave real words, though her eyes remained on the phone. “I suppose it was our turn to be the motorcycles.”
Luna blinked.
“I mean, ‘the heroes.’” A few seconds passed, then Celestia added, “I think I want to learn how to use a motorcycle.”
“Tia, is there something you want to tell me?”
“Yes. Something very important.”
Celestia let another pause build expectation, then turned laughing eyes to her sister. “I love you.”
Luna chuckled, though played her part and groaned. “Anything else?”
“Not right now.”
“Cool.” Luna turned, patting instinctively at her chest holster. “Whooves said we might have to go through every stupid graveyard in the city. Can you handle dinner by yourself?”
“Mm.” Celestia’s gaze was already back on her phone. The pink mouth pursed slightly, and as Luna watched, teeth slipped out and bit the lower lip.
“See you tonight.”
Not even a mumble, this time. A grin played on Luna’s face as she turned, leaving Celestia to her who-knows-what.
Tuesday class. Four days since Tirek rose, and mankind once more decided acknowledging the supernatural was too haaaaaaaard. Leaders had elections to worry about, adults had bills, and students had tests. Who had time for anything else?
Yet Earth’s Discord had witnessed human blindness too often to be surprised. He muscled through his bland lesson on Earth’s bland myths, consoling himself that at least the building he was in wasn’t bland. The Spoiled Rich Hall’s piggy-bank shape drew delightful annoyance from its students, though honestly even Discord thought it looked dumb.
“And so, having been defeated by the muses, the sirens lost their voices. But really, it’s their own fault for being idiots. If a villain relies on the power of their songs, one would expect them to at least be good enough to win a music contest – a band battle, as it were. Of all the cringe-worthy defeats in all of legend, the sirens appear particularly incompetent.”
His eyes moved as he spoke, finding the seats in the back corner. Sunset Shimmer at least had the grace to raise eyebrow with an annoyed expression. Adagio, though, simply smirked at Discord. He was trying to get under her skin, of course. But she knew, and it was failing, and she was letting him know it was failing…
Oh, enough of this.
The students suddenly looked surprised. He must have said it out loud.
Discord threw his textbook to the side. It hit someone unimportant. He could see the headlines now, “Professor ASSAULTS Student!”
“What’s the matter with you? All of you, I mean. Humanity.” He paced to the side, one finger raised. “Actually, let’s start with you in this room. Why are you taking a myths and legends class? It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Um, three credit-hours, so what is this costing your parents? Like six-hundred dollars, for this class alone. For what? Nothing that will serve you in the real world. Six-hundred dollars, just farted into the breeze.”
“I need elective course hours,” Sugarcoat said drolly.
“And Trixie enjoys old myths.”
“Then read them yourself, you idiot!” Discord paused behind his desk and bent down, shouting from out of sight. “Start a club. Visit the library. Browse on bleepity-bleeping Wikipedia! Coming here to get it forced down your throats, tested and regulated… what a waste of everyone’s time and money! The whole ‘elective’ bit is a scam, anyway. ‘Golly, I need useless random classes before I become a bleeping engineer. Guess I’ll just take what’s fun! All it’ll cost me is the yearly wage of three-quarters of the globe!’”
He stood, having found the object of his search: a gasoline container. He liberally began dumping its contents on the carpet and desk, rambling on. “I’m sorry your idiotic system forces this idiotic expenditure of money, which this college uses to justify expanding its faculty to offer even more worthless classes. But there comes a point when you have to stop blaming society and start accepting responsibility for your own actions. You’re wasting your lives and your parents’ money, and if you are actually interested in this hogwash, you’re wasting your own creativity by having these lessons force-fed into you!”
“What are you doing?” Fluttershy asked, very quietly.
The gas can emptied. Discord gave it another few shakes for good measure. “Overreacting. This all has become quite boring, and I’m ready to move on.”
He took out a lighter. God, these kids were dumb; only now did they start running.
No casualties. Some students had to defy Darwin and wake their peers as the classrooms burned around them. Sunset even helped haul out a handicapped person, predictable twat that she was.
Best of all, the eyesore that was the Spoiled Rich Hall was gone forever… in a fashion. Spoiled Rich would later finance construction of a new building (mostly with tax-deducted charity money), shaped like her face and named the Spoiled Rich Hall.
Such would be the problem of future students, a title which assuredly did not include Discord. He hummed ‘Rise of Tirek’ – fun times, that – as he bounded up the steps to his house. He’d probably end up burning down this one, too. Time to get a fresh start somewhere else.
He tossed his hat onto the coat stand, then moved briskly to the kitchen and pitched his keys to the counter. He then turned to the living room to find Principal Celestia, Sunset Shimmer, and Equestria’s Discord in wait, all with drawn and pointed guns.
Discord – ‘Mister D,’ for clarity’s sake – raised one finger, more for appearance than having anything to say. A hail of bullets struck him down, not stopping until after he fell. Guns clicked empty and reloads snapped in, but the trio apparently felt that turning him into a hole-pocked corpse got the message across loud and clear.
Sunset kicked him hard on the leg, snarling with amusing rage. “Oh, get up. You’re way more intact than a human would be, anyway.”
“Scary that you know that,” Mister D replied cheekily. He cracked open one eye and turned it on Celestia. “What is your child being exposed to? You must be a bad parent.”
Sunset growled before her mother could speak. “Whose fault is that? We compared notes, and I’ve been thinking. Way back in September, six months ago...”
“Feels more like fourteen months to me,” Mister D said, giving a broad wink.
Sunset ignored him. “The Hailgrogar ghouls. They said they needed a second virgin to give to you.”
Mister D shrugged. “Working plan to bring up Tirek. Virgin blood is like magic plastic, you can do anything with–”
“There’s more, isn’t there?” Sunset snapped. “If they only needed the one virgin they’d have taken Adagio, and honestly, I don’t know if we’d have noticed until it was too late. Instead they had to take Applejack, too.”
She swallowed hard. “Did you actually predict that we’d rescue them? That was what got my group into the business. Was that all just an elaborate way to get your jollies with a–”
Now Mister D interrupted, and he did so with an obnoxious yawn. “Please, Miss Shimmer; you’re not at all important to me. Although your little ride to glory against Tirek was a nice added bonus, I got my monster battle, and now it’s time for another project. Please thank Twilight Sparkle for me, her help was invaluable.”
A low smile. “Perhaps she and I will… ‘collaborate’ in the future.”
Sunset pushed the barrel of her pistol into Mister D’s forehead. “Try it, dick.”
“Consider, if you will: I did nothing wrong. It was Twilight who made the machine which summoned the elder god, and the sirens who raised Tirek. All I ever did was talk to people.”
Sunset dismissively spat. “Word games might impress a lawyer, but I just changed majors to art.”
Celestia blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Later, Mom.”
Mister D yawned again, and shrugged on the ground. “Hm, now that I think about it, you’re not so different from me, Sunset. We’re both in it for the fun.”
“Bite me.”
“Let’s be real.” Mister D began climbing to his feet, brushing off the blood like dust. “You don’t fight for the betterment of humanity or any other noble ideal. There are those you care to protect, yes, and with sufficiently tortured logic you may call your hunting ‘duty.’ But in your heart of hearts, beneath all the candy and lies, we both know you’re here for kicks and giggles. You’re a bad-ass zombie hunter saving the day. A real, honest hero in an era where the word has become cheapened and over-used. You’re doing this for you, you, you, and how cool it makes you feel.”
Sunset blew a stray hair to the side, never moving her glare. “You’re not even half-right. Yeah, I’m a bad-ass. But I also think random strangers shouldn’t die to ghouls or demigods.”
She stepped back, brushing shoulders with her mom. “We save lives and look good doing it.”
“Pish. You’re just another ex-villain trying to act cool.”
Equestria’s Discord rolled his eyes. “When you don’t bother getting to know anyone, all you see is the labels, and that makes everyone look the same. It’s like I said earlier, making friends would let you understand–”
“Boring!” Mister D leaped up with a cry, earning an extra few bullet-holes. He tapped his cane to the floor around him, turning it and the earth beneath into chocolate milk.
He sank, though not before hurling the cane at his twin. “Get lost! And as for you two...”
A sharp-toothed grin emerged. “See you around.”
Sunset grinned back, just before he sank. “We’ll be ready.” But Mister D laughed, then was gone.
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
Epilogue: A Misfit Family Hunts the Undead
Celestia’s house was small, and well-suited to a pair of budget-conscious bachelorettes. Such also formed a ready-made excuse for their shyness – of course they could never have company, there wouldn’t be room for all.
Yet as the city warmed into springtime, Celestia’s oft-flighty ambitions lead her to announce a cookout. Space proved a little tight, but the sunny weather lured many participants to loiter outside with their meals. The Pie family sat at a table on the driveway, primly eating hamburgers with forks and knives. Sunset gave them a casual wave as she passed, earning only a nod from Limestone.
The grill was massive, and didn’t belong to Celestia. The owner stood behind it, ignoring the small line as he loudly regaled Professor Whooves. “But the demon couldn’t handle the power of my raw metal music and exploded, saving the souls of everyone on the mountain. The monks blessed me when I left, and bestowed on me the title of ‘Dragonlord!’”
“All I want is a hot dog,” Whooves said meekly.
“I gotcha,” Celestia stood next to Torch, manning her side of the grill while never breaking hip-contact with the man. She served Whooves, then beamed to Sunset.
“Hi, Mom. Hi, Torch.” Sunset didn’t yet know what to think of of the big lug, but Mom sure smiled a lot with him around. Better still, Twilight’s hacking of his internet history and Wallflower’s search of his house turned up nothing in the way of red flags. No need to mention that.
He was reliable, too. “Thanks for getting your grill. I thought we were out of luck when Redheart sent hers into orbit.”
“My pleasure, kiddo. Burger or Brat?”
“Burger.”
“Here, I’ve got one for her.”
Celestia slid the hot meat onto a bun, though Sunset couldn’t help but notice the work was done one-handed. The other held Torch’s arm.
“I think your friends are on the front porch. Although I do hope I can monopolize you for at least a little while this evening. Will you be spending the night?”
Sunset put on a cagey smile at their old in-joke. “I’ll think about it.”
Celestia leaned over the grill to peck her cheek. “Then I’ll make sure your room’s ready.”
Sunset took her plate and wandered to the food trays, collecting veggies and trading greetings with Celestia’s band. They had annexed a table for a poker game, though it was on hold as the soot-faced Redheart espoused details on the boss’ new boyfriend.
Sunset didn’t pay it any mind, knowing the nurse to be more fond of stories than facts. She entered the house, and followed the familiar sounds of video games in the living room.
...And the not-so familiar sound of Wallflower giving a frustrated shriek. “Mage Meadowbrook is broken!”
Luna gave a sly laugh. “You keep playing the slowest character. What did you think would–”
An abrupt grunt ended the taunt. Sunset came into view to find the pair sitting on the couch, with one more grinning as the game announced, “Stygian Wins!”
“You should play more and talk less,” Ember said, and gave the newcomer a friendly wave. “Hey, Sunset. Wanna take fourth?”
Sunset grinned. She wasn’t sure if she liked the idea of having a sister, but as a friend, Ember was cool as heck. “Nah, I’m heading over to my peeps. We still on for Saturday?”
“Yeah. I snagged you a helmet and everything.”
Luna gave a questioning look, and Sunset explained. “She’s gonna teach me how to ride.”
A motorcycle. Tirek’s teeth, Ember was awesome.
Luna pursed her lips. “Does Celestia know?”
“Not if nobody cops to her.”
“Heh.” Luna leaned up and planted a kiss on Sunset’s cheek, opposite where her mother did. “Be safe, alright?”
Sunset made the obligatory promise, and moved on. Brisk spring air hit her as she came to the front porch, the last of her little gang to get food. Twilight perched on the railing with a hot dog in each hand. Applejack leaned back into the porch swing with hat down over her face, apparently sleeping off the meal, while Adagio nestled with her head in the girl’s lap.
A low throb of defensive jealousy hit Sunset’s heart, leaving her a touch disappointed in herself. But she let it pass. Adagio was reading from a red leather tome, and looked up as Sunset touched her arm. “The journal holding up okay?”
Adagio shrugged. “Well enough to leave me frustrated. Sonata just spent three pages telling me how she sneaked six other students into an R-rated movie, then two more complaining about her punishment.”
Another shrug, and a light smile played on Adagio’s face. “Better that than something else, I suppose. I think they’re enjoying the chance to be like kids again.”
“And how are you?”
Sunset asked the question earnestly, but Adagio’s smile grew. “I’m not sadly longing for Equestria, if that’s what you mean. Coddled, protected… boring. Earth is better for someone like me.”
She closed the book, turning her eyes skywards. “I… need to change. Classical performers aren’t really around anymore, and I don’t care to be a trendy little pop-star. I need to work on my sound, my style. How to market without selling my soul to a record company. How to get noticed on the internet, and… oh, a lot more. This isn’t easy.”
She settled down a little deeper into AJ’s lap. “Good thing I have a friend who’s a business major. What about you, Miss Art Student?”
“Pretty simple, really.” Sunset had spent a lot of time thinking about it. “Nursing and pediatrics won’t leave any time for hunting, and I’m in for the long haul. I’ve already done backdrops for Prim Hemline of all people , so I’m pretty sure I can fly as an artist.”
“How’d the folks take it?”
“Luna said, ‘No problem Sunset, we’d love for you to live at home til you’re forty.’” Sunset scratched her elbow, still not sure how much of that had been a joke. “And, well, you know Mom.”
“Wouldn’t mind knowing her better,” Adagio leered.
Sunset sauntered to one of the chairs and set herself down. “Tough luck, sucka. She has a boyfriend.”
“Speaking of which, let’s talk Applejack.” Adagio peered out guiltlessly from her position. “You and me, Sunset, let’s catch her next time she leaves the shower and start making out right in front of her. Show her what she’s missing so she finally–”
“I’m awake,” Applejack grunted from behind her hat.
“Of course you are, you tensed up the second I said your name.”
Applejack unveiled her face, yawning. She idly scratched Adagio’s hair as one would a cat, smiling towards Sunset. “We got anything on deck, leader?”
“The big Rainboom bike-hike is Sunday.”
Applejack grunted. “Monster-wise, I mean.”
Sunset gave a thumbs-up, buying a little time as she worked down a too-large bite of hamburger. “With the graveyards back in order? Zip, zilch, nothing. We await the next disaster.”
“I can wait,” Applejack chuckled, slapping the hat onto her head.
Twilight huffed, hurriedly swallowing her last hot dog. “Speak for yourselves. I have to keep working on ways to prevent mind-control, and that’s just one project on top of a bunch of others.”
“I fixed up the truck!” Wallflower chirped. No one had noticed when she came outside. “And I put together a really good first-aid kit for it. Splints, wolfsbane pills, and everything.”
“Not trying to make this a contest, but...” Applejack shuffled, avoiding their eyes. “I’ve started practicing long-range shooting. It still bugs me that I couldn’t drop that ol’ werewolf, and I hope to the moon I’ll get ‘em next time.”
Adagio purred under Applejack’s scratching. “I’m already perfect.”
“And I just learned how to make silver bullets.” Sunset leaned back in her chair, grinning. “Sounds like the next trouble that comes along is going to have trouble with us.”
Applejack lounged backwards, sipping at her beer. “Then let it takes its sweet time, sugar.”
The wind picked up a little, chilling the early spring air. But it was a pleasant chill, that only brought love for food and fellowship.
Sunset stood, abandoning her empty plate. She meandered to the railing and leaned over it, smiling to the clouds. Good food, good friends, and the comforting weight of a pistol at her chest. Tomorrow she’d do breakfast with Mom and Luna, then the next day she’d go with the others to cheer on Wallflower at a video game tournament. Then art classes, motorcycle lessons…
Yeah, Applejack was right. Let the trouble come late and slow for a while.
Sunset patted the bulge under her jacket, feeling a new smile play out. She turned back to the group, and squeezed onto the swing with Applejack and Adagio.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading.
View Online
Sunset Shimmer Hunts the Undead
W̢̉ḥ̅o̟̓ ̞͠n̦͘é̦e̥̍d͎̈s͖͑ ͕̆f̱͒r̠͋ị̓e̮͑n͚͝d̘͒s̟͒ ͔̈́w͈̒h͂͜e̗̿n̨͝ ̳͝y̙̑o̼͠ũ̢ ̝͘h̼͝a̛̜v̡̿ê͍ ̹͒k̑ͅn͍͆i̗̇v̺̓e͖͑s̥͛?͓̇
The email went out. “Sunset, I got beeswax for the concert and put it in the cupboard. It’s organic, so we don’t have to worry about any GMO-related infections.”
Answer came within the minute. Sunset must be at her computer. “Thanks, but aren’t you in your room? Why didn’t you just come out and tell me?”
Wallflower didn’t have the heart to admit she approached Sunset twice in the past hour, and had been ignored each time. And she certainly didn’t have the courage for a third attempt, so email it was.
Not so bad. Wallflower sat cross-legged on her bed, tick-tacking away on her laptop with cola and instant noodles close to hand. No need to get up, or be a bother to anyone.
A muffled voice came through her door. “Anyone mind if I do some music practice? Life-or-death struggles or no, I still have classes.”
Wallflower couldn’t hear the response, but she couldn’t imagine her tolerant dorm-mates refusing the free music. She even heard Twilight give a definite positive, and said something about listening while she gamed.
Adagio came into the bedroom, and closed the door securely behind. She didn’t ask if Wallflower cared, but that was fine.
Metal scraped, followed by a click. Adagio had locked the door.
...Strange. Wallflower watched the ex-siren curiously, caught by her movements. There was a flowing, swimming quality to her steps, and a haughty tilt to the nose. Her hips and arms swayed as though attracting lovers, somehow making her burgundy turtleneck the subject of allure.
Wallflower gave a low whistle. She wasn’t into girls – or honestly, much of anything – but something about Adagio…
The girl did not hear, and gave no greeting as she walked past her roommate to dig out the violin. That was fine. Adagio settled the instrument under her neck, raised her bow, and gave an irate sigh as a ringtone blared from her pocket. She traded violin for phone, and rolled her eyes while swiping the green button.
“Nobody calls anymore,” Adagio said into the phone. There was a cool edge to the words, far from her grumpy norm. “Seriously, just text me.”
A sharp female voice laughed over the line, loud enough for Wallflower to hear. “Most people would kill to hear my voice. I’m just making sure you don’t get cold feet.”
Sultrily, silkily, Adagio answered. “And blowing my cover. But whatever. I’m in private.”
“I could leave,” Wallflower volunteered.
Adagio did not notice. “Just remember your end. I do this, and you tell me everything.”
She turned with the words. Wallflower opened her mouth, and would have repeated the offer had Adagio’s movement not revealed a thoroughly unsettling expression on her face. It was flat and distant, beneath cold, killer eyes. One side of the mouth curled cruelly, and one finger balanced a dagger perfectly upon its point. Blue light shined from a gemstone at Adagio’s throat, casting her in a glow like a drowning ghost.
The killer eyes looked to Wallflower – but they just looked through her, then moved away. Wallflower quailed, and slowly closed her mouth.
Words came more softly through the phone. Adagio answered in a cold voice… everything felt cold all of a sudden. Wallflower grit her teeth, hunching down in petrified silence.
“I have all three of them here. Come on over. I’ll be done by the time you arrive.”
Adagio tossed phone and knife to the bed, and took up the violin. She stood, looming above Wallflower, facing the young girl and close enough to touch.
Bow touched string. Music flowed – unearthly, beautiful, unholy. Far more perfect than the half-constructed melodies Adagio played for them before. Serene like a viper’s eyes; perfumed, spiraling…
Terror threatened to beat Wallflower’s heart out of her chest, yet something else crept up from beneath. A drowsy contentment, like the final step between wake and sleep. Nothing to do but close her eyes and drift, letting idle worries pass away…
Her eyelids fluttered. Her head bobbed.
But Wallflower’s worries were anything but idle. Green hands shot up and jammed their forefingers into her ears. The peaceful sensation immediately began to fade, leaving her with unmerciful awareness of exactly what was going on. She had to get up. Scream! Warn the others.
She couldn’t even bring herself to swallow for fear of drawing attention. Adagio was so fast, and her daggers so close to hand. Wallflower would die saving her friends.
...Worth it, surely. All she had to do was move.
Move.
Move.
Wallflower hunched down lower. Trembling. Breathing in shallow gasps and fervently hoping Adagio did not hear.
What a joke. She wasn’t a hero. They were all in the other room.
Head bowed and hair pooling down to her knees, Wallflower made like her namesake. A part of the scenery. Unimportant. Ignored. All she could ever be.
But what about with the ghouls? The Space Nazis? She made a difference then. Surely… surely...
She raised her eyes. Adagio was setting down her violin. Couldn’t leave now; Adagio might brush against her and remember.
Adagio departed, letting the door hang open a listless few inches. Enough for Wallflower to hear, but not see the entrance to their common room unlock and open.
A perky, ditzy voice giggled from the other side. “I brought the handcuffs!”
Wallflower stood. Trembled, and fell back to her bed. She clutched herself, shivering. Crying. Useless. Couldn’t even call or email for help – had never bothered getting in touch outside their immediate group.
“Come on,” she whispered without sound. “Avoid eye contact. Mumble apologies. Slip outside, and warn someone.”
She knew the way to Rarity and Rainbow’s dorm. Maybe they had Celestia’s number. If not, they definitely had Pinkie’s, and she could warn the Pies.
The plan calmed her. She could help. She wasn’t useless.
Wallflower stood. Trembled, and remained standing. Shaking fingers reached and pushed with breathless timidity at the door, opening it only enough for her to meekly slip sideways through.
Memories of the last concert were still murky, but Wallflower remembered the Dazzlings. Aria, Sonata… Adagio. All hard at work with Wallflower’s friends. Sunset and Twilight were being taped back-to-back on the couch, with their ankles stretched over the sides and manacled to its frame. A long length of chain bound Applejack to a plastic chair, running between and around her limbs and culminating with a padlock squished tightly above her helpless, exposed hands.
The bindings were unnecessary for now. All three girls were fast asleep.
Sonata stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Whew, this is more than a little sexy. What say we have some fun once they wake up?”
“No time,” Adagio said. She tugged a little at Applejack’s ungiving chain, and released a smirk.
Aria leered above her frozen gem. “Don’t want the guilt?”
“Don’t want to be late to our own concert.” Adagio gave an aristocratic sniff. “You were the one who wanted to push up the time.”
Aria shrugged. “Safety first. Principal Celestia’s monster hunters...”
She paused and tilted her head. “Man, that’s weird to say out loud. Anyway, this will throw off anyone who wants to mess with us. We’ve already got our little friends sicced on them, but you know how it works – never trust minions to get the job done. I wouldn’t count on it even if we still had the werewolf.”
“Werewolf. Hm.” Adagio smiled thinly. “Aren’t we the minions?”
Aria whipped back her pigtails, catching Wallflower on the cheek. Three steps from the door. “Yeah, but seriously, grow up. We can do whatever we want so long as we follow his orders, and with our powers back we can really do whatever we want. I’ll take that over scraping for rent any day of the week.”
Adagio’s smile turned nasty. “Cute. You’re bringing up the rent?”
Sonata slipped quietly between them. “It’s not like things were easy after we split with you. Backup dancers like us were easy to replace, nobody cared about our singing, and we couldn’t even keep the hip clothes we wore in the shoots. Heck yeah, I’ll sing for Tirek. He gave us back everything we deserve.”
“That he did,” Adagio purred, touching her gem and smiling with teeth.
Aria leaned against the door, checking her nails.
“Excuse me, please.”
One look that sent Wallflower’s heart into her mouth, but not two. Aria moved from the door, and did not turn as it opened.
A frozen, terrified step to the brown carpet of the outer hallway. Wallflower forced her pace to remain slow, willfully avoiding anything that might cause even an audible commotion. Only when she left sight of the door did she permit herself to run. All the way to the elevator, where she slapped the ‘down’ button.
How long had she been holding her breath? She released it and gulped for air, giggling as the awful tension finally began to subside.
The elevator opened. Wallflower made to walk forward, then stopped abruptly as her neck touched something very cold, and very sharp.
The dagger massaged the edge of her throat, then pulled inwards with creeping promise. Wallflower stepped carefully back with it, into a yellow arm that wrapped gently across her front.
Curly hair tickled her ears, and large breasts pushed into her from behind. The elevator door began to close.
Sultry, peppermint-scented words oozed from over her shoulder.
“My sweet little Wallflower… surely you didn’t think I’d forgotten about you?”
