The Lulamoon Files

The Lulamoon Files

Chapter One: Good Morning

Written by TheCrimsonDM

It was another misty morning on this dreary Friday here in the city of Manehattan. From the window of my office I could see nothing but giant gray pillars of pony made construction through the light fog. The sun was only barely visible as a burning bright circle above us. It wasn’t an unusual day yet, but I try to never leave that door open to fate.

I turned back toward my office door, the window was still cracked from when a poltergeist got a little too friendly with it. The owner of the building of course didn’t exactly believe that story. At least my name plate was still there. A brass plate that had both my name and my rather unwanted profession written on it.

Trixie Lulamoon.

Wizard.

Yeah, that’s right, I’m a wizard. The best in Equestria I’d say, or at least the best openly practicing one. Which wasn’t hard considering I was the only openly practicing one. Most ponies didn’t trust a unicorn, let alone one calling themselves a wizard. So I got the short end of the stick from most anypony, all the way up until they needed me.

There was a knock at my office door, and I could already guess who it was before it swung open without my permission. A griffon with black feathers stepped in. His claws tapped across the floor as he made his way to my desk. His yellow hawk eyes glared at me, and I met his eyes and glared back. It only took a moment before he averted his eyes but still he looked furious.

“Wizard my great aunt’s tail feathers,” He cursed. “That’s a load of bologna and you know it.”

I still had no idea what bologna was, but I was sure it was some weird griffon food to be sure. “Mr. Grimclaw, look, I’m trying, I actually have a case right-“

“You have two days to pay me what you owe, or else I’m kicking you out of this place. You can go and run your silly magic tricks out of a back alley for all I care.”

Griffons, they loved two things in this world; their money, followed only by other ponies money. Greediest creatures on the planet if you ask me, and I’ve met a few goblins. Still I couldn’t afford to look weak in front of a threat.

“I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, do you doubt Trixie’s ability to pay?” I asked, rising from my chair.

Grimclaw’s eyes flashed up to my horn. “I doubt your ability to get hired.”

I smiled grimly. “Trixie is the most famous wizard in all of Manehattan, perhaps all of Equestria. You should choose your words carefully or else she might just take her business elsewhere.”

“Like anyone would take you, nopony trusts a unicorn, especially not a wizard unicorn,” still Grimclaw’s eyes glanced at my horn before going back to my face. “You better do some tricks, turn rocks into gold or whatever it is your kind does for money, and soon.”

He turned and stormed out of my office. I waited until the door was shut before plopping back into my seat and letting out a sigh. I was broke. It’d been awhile since anyone wanted, or needed to hire a wizard. So I was pretty much screwed if I didn’t get any work and fast.

As luck would have it, fate it seemed was looking out for me today.

My phone began ringing, probably some kid trying to prank me again. Still I pushed a few peanut butter cracker wrappers aside and picked up the phone with my hoof. When I put it to my ear what I heard gave me goose bumps. There was a mare talking so fast I couldn’t understand most of what she was trying to say, but in the background I heard something, the kind of sound a chainsaw would make after being revved up.

“Slow down, miss,” I told her firmly.

“Y-your, Lulamoon? The wizard right?” She asked. Whatever noise was in the background was leaving.

I couldn’t help but to grin as I added in a bit of flair to reassure her that she was indeed dealing with a real wizard. “I am both great and powerful. Now who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

“I’m Flitterbell, I… I need a wizard’s help. Magic help.”

My grin quickly vanished at the severity of her tone. “What sort of help?”

“You don’t understand, I can’t, on the phone, right now.” The noise was coming back again.

I cursed my stupid luck. Though not often technology had a problem working around me. I had spent years reining in my magical influence, but that didn’t stop it from ruining my phone calls on occasion. I decided to pick up speed before I lost her completely.

“Look,” I said in a tone brokering no argument. “I will be in my office at noon, and I would very much like to meet you. Do you think you could meet me than?”

Her voice came back timid, but there was a sort of thankfulness to it. “Y-yes, I can do that. Noon, today. I can be there.”

She hung up and the static noise disappeared with her. I laid back and tried not to be too pleased with myself. It looked like rent might actually get paid this month. Of course it only hit me a moment later that I could have asked for a consultation fee. It was too late for that now, I already told her to come in for an appointment.

Great, I just lost my chance at having good lunch today. I looked over the pile of hayburger wrapers. Burger Queen it is then.

I had hardly gotten past that thought when my phone rang once again. Twice in one day, I must have been on some goddess’s goodwill list because that never happened. I picked it up all too eager to fatten my wallet. Another mare was on the other end, one that held a southern drawl that I quite enjoyed listening too, even if I’d never admit that.

“Lulamoon,” The mare said briskly.

“Hello there, Sugarcube, how might I be of assistance to-“

She cut me off. “First of all, that’s mah word. Second, we have bodies.”

A cold lump formed in the pit of my stomach. “I, uh, okay. Where do I meet you?”

There was surefire venom in her tone when she spoke next. “Applegates Apartments, and Ah want you now.”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Alright, I’ll be there right away.” I looked at my clock, it was only eight in the morning, my day had just barely begun, and yet I was already sure that it was going to be a lot busier than I had intended. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I didn’t hesitate to get up, throw on my royal purple trench coat and matching fedora before I walked out the door. I had everything I would need for this trip on me, well everything that was legal for me to have anyway.

It was only about a twenty minute drive to reach the Applegate Apartments. They were right next to the ocean, and as my old beaten car pulled into an adjacent space a block down the road I could smell the ocean air. There weren’t many people on the beach yet, probably due to the insistent fog that refused to leave.

The Applegate itself was tall for an apartment complex. The thought of walking up those stairs was a nightmare to consider. The lobby inside was large, and I was greeted with a fantastic looking fountain. A stone statue of earth ponies collecting water as a pegasus was kicking a raincloud, the water actually dropped from the rain cloud into the bucket, overflowed the sides and went into a small pond where it was sucked back up to the raincloud via a stone rainbow. All in all I was impressed, the thing was probably larger than my entire living room.

The earth pony standing by the fountain had curly orange hair, and peach fur. She wore a policepony’s unicorn and was staring bitterly into the fountain. On my approach she spun around and shot a glare through me.

“Oh, so your finally here, Lulamoon,” She said every word dripping with poison.

I flashed a grin. “One can’t rush perfection, Caramel.”

Caramel Apple was not only one of Applejack’s cousins, she was her partner and second in command. I liked Applejack, she was a mare I could respect, doing the best she could in this city. However that did not mean that I liked her.

“Are all unicorns as arrogant as you, or are you an exception?”

My smile grew. “I am the exception to all unicorns.”

Caramel seemed to give up on the pointless banter because she turned and flicked her tail. “Follow me, you’ve wasted enough of AJ’s time already.”

I followed behind her. It was actually a little bit weird how Caramel gave up so quickly. It almost hurt to think that I won that argument so easily, but if the situation was serious enough to call me in, then of course I’d be a fool to waste Applejack’s time.

We used the elevator and I was thankful that it didn’t stop up on us. Unicorns and technology just didn’t seem to mix too well. Even my car sometimes gave me trouble, and I was very careful with it. So when we got off the at the sixth floor I was all too happy to be of that thing. Down the hall I could see that orange mare, her white button up shirt and black pants. She was chewing on a piece of hay, and her emerald eyes stared bitterly at the wall in front of her as if she was staring at her worst enemy. That blond hair was in a quickly put together ponytail.

I walked ahead of Caramel so that I could greet my friend. “Hey, AJ.”

She shot me a glare that was supposed to be reserved for the wall. “You’re here.”

I wasn’t that late, was I? “Of course I’m here, how could the Great and Powerful Trixie leave one of her clients hanging?”

“It’s a mess, Lulamoon,” She said with a glance to the door behind her. “If you want out now, I won’t judge you for being a wimp.”

I smiled at the challenge. “And if you need to feint I’ll be right here to catch you.”

“You wish.”

Sometimes, I really did.

She spat the hay out onto the floor. “Remember, you’re a consultant. I just need to know what I’m dealing with. Any advice you can give us will be helpful.” She paused at the door. “And whatever you do, don’t puke on the crime scene, we’ve already got enough of that from several of the new guys.”

Applejack walked in and Caramel took up guarding the front door. Applejack had one of the worst jobs in Manehattan, she was in charge of the cities DI unit. Dark Investigations. For the most part they dealt with the dark magic, and monsters that would appear in the city. Usually the ones that lived there just out of sight. Back in the day people really respected them, and they were a valuable asset to the city. But as time went on, and with the loss of most unicorns and monsters the city began thinking of dark magic and strange mythical beasts as legends rather than fact. Now it was to the point where DI personal were all the unwanted members of the force. You mess up big time, and get punished by being put on DI. It was a career death sentence. Yet Applejack still did her job, she still fought the darkness as best she could. Though there were things that I knew she couldn’t handle, and she knew that I knew that.

I followed her through the door and my nose was assaulted by the smell of rotting flesh. It took a moment to control my senses, and to push the scent away. Once I had done that I looked around. I wish that I hadn’t. The scene before me was grim. There were… mounds of meat and stained fur on the couch. Two piles, one had bits of blue fur, the other had bits of yellow fur. On the floor I could see a blue leg.

Somehow I kept my insides where they belonged long enough to examine the scene in finer detail, to look for whatever piece- er clue that could point me in the right direction. The leg had been severed and what looked like bite marks had been left on it, chunks of the flesh were torn away. I walked around the couch and wished that I hadn’t, two severed heads lay behind it.

The balcony door was open, probably to try and get the air to clean out. Though I wanted to be sure. I looked at Applejack. “Was the door open when you got here?”

She had a stony expression. “Yes.”

I nodded. Great. Just freaking great.

So it was entirely possible, and likely that the killer had come in through the balcony door. I looked down. It was a good ten feet to the next balcony, which for a lot of the creatures I come up against was nothing, but it was also a dead drop sixty feet down. Most anything I could think of would be horribly injured by such a fall.

Still that didn’t tell me much. Something with sharp teeth, and a hungry appetite had come in through the balcony door, surprised the two ponies sitting here and ate most of them before leaving. That was not much to go on.

“Who were they?” I asked as I stared out the window.

“Cloud Bounce and Kitesail.” Applejack said. “The first was a male pegasus, the other a female earth pony. They were lovers.”

I figured as much, still it would take some more research to go on before I could come to a conclusion. I looked back toward the couple. “How did you identify them?”

“We couldn’t find their… cutie marks, but between their faces and the fact that they lived here we could easily-“

“Their cutie marks are gone?”

“Yes, is that… strange?”

Strange, oh no when a pony gets eaten in their own home like this they usually lose their cutie marks.

I looked at the floor going out to the balcony. There were drops of blood going out and over the edge. “Whatever came in here, it came through the window.”

“Trixie, you didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t know yet.” I admitted. I turned toward her. “Is there anything else? Did these ponies have enemies? Anything like that?”

Applejack shook her head. “We’re still looking into their background.”

I nodded. “Okay, than I finally get to do this.”

I marched out the door, into the hall and found the nearest waste bin. My breakfast decided it wanted to be free, all over a new and empty trashcan. I heard Caramel Apple snickering behind me. Applejack was right alongside me in a few moments.

“You too?” She asked.

I shook my head, and wiped my muzzle off on my foreleg. “I have never seen anything like that before. Applejack, whatever did this…”

“Do you have any clues?”

“Not yet. I can go and do some research, you know my price.”

She narrowed her eyes. “There’s a killer on the loose and you’re still obsessed with money?”

“A pony has to eat somehow, and besides you know that I’m best chance you have of solving this case.”

“You better give me all the details, and not hide anything from me. You try that and I’ll have your ovary’s in jar by Monday morning.”

I nodded even though we both knew that I would probably be keeping secrets from her. After all; my world and hers didn’t tend to have friendly relations with one another. There were things that I could tell her, things that simply knowing would put her life at risk. Still I wouldn’t screw her out of finding her bad guy, I just might have leave the little details out of the picture. Such as whatever the bad guy was.

I only briefly glanced back at the now shut door to Cloud Bounce and Kitesail. Yep, this day is going to suck.