The Lulamoon Files

The Lulamoon Files

Chapter Seven: Leaky Pipe

Written by TheCrimsonDM

I got to my office just in time to miss out with another meeting with the griffon who owned my building. In all honesty I couldn’t handle a second encounter with him just yet. In my office I took a seat and pulled out the drawer that held the box with its key. For several long minutes I stared at the key, my brain starting to itch as I tried to decipher its purpose. It was stained, the once golden key was dark, almost shamefully so, and a few strange symbols had been scratched into the handle. Yet I couldn’t figure out what the magic of the key was.

After a few more minutes I grabbed my hair in my hooves and pulled. “Explain yourself key!”

It tactfully chose not to respond to me. So I got up went to the corner of my office where I kept a small wooden crate and popped it open. A six pack of Everfree Cola and several packages of peanut butter crackers. One soda later, followed by a package of crackers and I was back up to speed. Everfree Cola's slogan was, 'Great Tastes, Everfree Energy'. The soda itself was fine but it was the sugary substance they kept around the inside lip of the drink itself that I was really after. I licked the lip of the lid getting as much of the white crystalline as I could, it was far too sweet but came with a jolt of energy unlike any other.

So a key, with magical properties, and being sought out for by a giant wall of rainbow lights. Yeah, no that made sense, lots of sense. So much sense in fact that I didn’t want to just throw the box across the room out of a caffeine fueled rage. Nor did the box break into a few pieces upon said impact revealing to me the fact that just under the lid, inside a hidden compartment was a folded up document. And that document may not have made sense but it also clearly didn't have the EWP stamp of approval on the top of it.

I just so happened to find all that information out by pure chance and luck. EWP Equestria Work Program, a place that I luckily never had to go to, but so many ponies in this depression did. What could the connection be between this key and a government office? I didn't know but this was my next lead. I left after grabbing a few more colas for the road. I’d already had enough of today’s bull, and this soda was the best ally I could have.

***

Downtown, where the homeless often times filled the alleyways with makeshift homes and burning barrels, one could smell the burning refuge which kept these poor souls warm through the day. Today the Equestria Work Program, or EWP for short was packed to capacity with ponies. I arrived just in time to watch as a stallion wearing a tan suit walked out, escorted by a couple of police. He shouted above the crowd. “Alright filles and gentlecolts, there aren’t anymore jobs today. Out with ya.”

I watched the crowd, probably over a hundred different ponies disperse. Many of whom grumbled or muttered curses as they left. It wasn’t just ponies though, there were donkeys and even a few deer out in the crowd. Those two I felt the worst for. Even if they got the same job as a pony did, they’d get half the pay if they were lucky.

Maybe growing up partly in a unicorn city wasn’t so good to my view on things in the world. Everypony hated me growing up, whether it was the unicorns who scorned my earth pony father, or the earth ponies and pegasi who scorned my unicorn blood. Even so, I’d still get more payment than a donkey. It wasn’t fair, but I didn’t have the power to change minds, if I did I wouldn’t be working so hard to find criminals. I’d just make them turn themselves in.

About ten minutes later the crowd was gone and I was free to step out of my car. I walked down the sidewalk until I got to the EWP office. The doors were closed and inside I could see the stallion along with the cops. I took in a deep breath as I pushed the door open and walked inside. Hopefully my reputation wouldn’t hurt my chances here too badly.

“What?” the stallion from before said coldly. “Didn’t you hear me? I don’t have anymore work today.”

I glanced at the clock. It was about three o clock, the fact that there had actually been jobs up until ten minutes ago was surprising to say the least. Still that wasn’t why I was here. “Actually I’m here to ask some questions about a mare named Flitterbell.”

His eyebrows raised for a split second before lowering into a scowl. “Never heard of her.”

“Oh?” I said blinking at him. I stuck out my lower lip. “Are you sure? Maybe I could help you remember her?”

The stallion nodded back toward his office. “Well, sweetcakes, maybe I have some records of her. Why don’t we take this in private?”

The cops for their part seemed completely disinterested in our conversation. Instead they were very busy looking at a pinup board on the wall. I followed the stallion into the room.

“The name’s Scythe,” he said as he closed his office door behind me. “What brings a dame like you into my life?”

The room was small, but there was a wooden desk, mahogany, and a couple of bookshelves. A couple of filing cabinets in the corner looked neatly stacked. “She seems to have found something and was wondering if I could return it to the owner?”

The stallion took a seat across from me. His brown fur seemed to compliment the desk. “Oh really? And did she happen to mention what this thing was?”

“I don’t remember.”

His scowl returned. “You’re not just here as a friend are you?”

“Maybe not.”

“What is it that you want?”

“Answers.”

“Then might I suggest going to a priest?”

“Ha, very funny.” I reexamined the walls. Portraits of Scythe, what must have been his wife, and his half dozen kids stood out. Next to it I saw a picture of the EWP office and a bunch of ponies standing outside of it, it was such a large portrait that it had to be folded in order to fit into the painting. I saw him standing in the front, and behind him was Flitterbell. Lastly there was a portrait of Scythe with a bunch of other stallions, all of them wearing graduation caps and long black robes. He was being embraced by a white stallion and a gray one, they must have been good friends.

“So you really can’t tell me anything about Flitterbell?”

“No I-“ he looked back at the wall. “Darn it. Well fine, she worked here okay. Until she stole something from my safe. If she’s returning it I might be willing to forget the transgression, but I am not going to rehire her.”

I smiled. “So the key was yours.”

“Yes it… so you know what it is then?”

I gave him the silent treatment as I surveyed the room. There really wasn’t much else to see, though I was beginning to wonder how long his lights would stay on with me in the room. My magic was bound to interfere with them eventually, maybe it was because I wasn’t angry yet.

“Where’s the key?”

“Like I’d tell you that.”

He placed his hooves on the desk, I could sense some hostile intent from him. He must have thought he was dealing with some punk, but that didn’t exactly work against me. “What do you want? Money? Work?”

“What else do you have?”

“I could have you arrested right now.”

“For what? I don’t have your key, and I’m certainly not the one offering up bribes to get it back.”

Scythe pulled out a package of smokes from his suit pocket and grabbed one with his teeth. A zippo came up to his lips and lit the thing. There was a particular symbol on the zippo’s side; it was a mountain with clouds on it and the letter z coming down like a lightning bolt. He must have noticed me looking at it because as he took a puff on his smoke he smiled. “This old thing? Yeah, its gold plated. Got it from my class reunion, and it’s worth quite the pretty penny. Of course you’ve probably never seen gold before, you street rat. Zues’s Academy of Greater Learning is probably above your reading level.”

I smiled at him. “Tell you what we can talk about this later.”

“Wait, what about my key?”

“Why don’t we meet up at Crystal Creak Park? I’ll give you three hours.” I pushed open the door and left. I wasn’t going to stick around while Scythe worked out the fact that I hadn’t asked for anything for the key. This had given me some information about the owner, but even more it gave me a chance to keep my mind busy until I worked out how to stop that warlock who was controlling monsters. That was still a huge problem to be solved, but this could be solved pretty much nowish.

Of course when I got back out onto the street and halfway to my car I had to stop. Static crawled along the back of my neck. My wizard sense was telling me I was in danger.

I couldn’t see anything around me to indicate the threat. There were a few homeless in the alleyway, though they were walking away. Behind me the street was empty, in front of me the street was empty. Only parked cars stood to as relics to pony existence.

A lone black car was diving by very slowly. I stared at it, the windows rolled down and I saw the flash of something steel inside. I had just enough time to throw up my shield as a hailstorm of gun fire rained down at me from the window. The car came to a complete stop and the fire pelted my shield, each hit exhausting me. I galloped to some cover behind a parked green car. My shield was already flickering as I ducked behind it. The bullet fire stopped and I heard the car door open.

Crabapples! I looked around and realized I was sitting behind a car, with just my shield, my aching horn, and no stave nor wand to back me up. Without my tools I was in trouble. My stave allowed me to empower my destructive magic for combat purposes, and my wand focused my illusions to a point so fine that few unicorns could stand a challenge to them. Though I suppose it wouldn’t matter much considering that I wasn’t allowed to kill using magic, not against mortals anyway.

Footsteps grew closer. I looked under the car to see a pair of gray dog legs coming toward me. I searched my pockets and found my first magic trick of the day. I quickly threw down a black smoke pellet and heard the dog round the corner to chase after what he presumed to be a running unicorn. How wrong he was.

The second I saw him in my sights I grabbed him with my telekinesis and pulled his limbs behind his back. For a moment I stared at the white spot around his eye as he gave me a yellow eyed fearful look. I ground my teeth.

“I-I-I can explain,” he begged as the hold tightened.

“See Spot shoot, see Spot run,” I liked my lips. “And see Spot pay.”

I lifted him up into the air, the tommy gun fell to the ground with a clatter. Ten feet up he was screaming. Twenty feet up he was crying.

I couldn't help it. “See Spot fly!”

With everything I had, my cola charged brain sent him flying back with a huge effort of will. I watched Spot fly down the street as my telekinesis let go and he sailed right into the back of someone’s nice four door yellow car. His large diamond dog body collapsed he roof as he sunk into it. The black car began speeding away.

“Not today!” I cried as I jumped out onto the street. With even more effort I grabbed the car with my telekinesis. It was heavy, and the fact that the driver was putting his hoof or paw down on the gas didn’t make it any easier. My head was exploding into all sorts of pain as I lifted the tailend of the car up a foot into the air. I heard a panicked voice shrieking inside, the male driver was in for a doozy. A layer of overglow was already covering my horn but I pushed further still. I knew that I could do it. I just had to keep going.

The back of the car was two feet off the ground. My eyes were stinging, and blackness was edging around my vision. I let loose a cry of pain as something snapped in my head. Still I refused to let go. I heard something, I think it was shouting, but I couldn’t tell. All of my focus was on this one car.

There was a gunshot, the window of the car shattered outward, and my leg exploded into pain. I lost my grip and the car slammed into the earth before speeding off down the road. I collapsed onto the ground. It was hard to see, everything was just so blurry.

My lips were dry, I licked them and tasted metal. On the ground there was a steadily growing pool of crimson. It would seem my leg had struck a leak somewhere down the line. I considered that thought very carefully as I examined the new hole in my trench coat. The royal purple now ruined with scarlet.

That same voice was still talking to me, though I didn’t know what it was saying. I looked over and saw a familiar white face. Her purple eyes were glossy and wet. She looked down at my leg.

“It’s just a leak,” I told Rarity.

Then everything went black as I fell into her soft fluffy white legs.