Penny (Hot)Pocket

by lolnerd

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, Sex, Fetish, Profanity, Big Macintosh, Derpy Hooves, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5645

Penny wants a nice slab of horse meat in her.

Penny has lived in Ponyville for nearly 6 months now.
It did not take long to look past the quadrupedal ponies outward appearance and see the inner person.

And she wants to take a deep dicking in her inner person.

This story is porn.
Warnings: Anal, bulge, big dicks/toys, horny slut.

You have been warned

Published 2018-08-06 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-06 23:50:01 UTC

The Final Piece Of The Puzzle

I sat on my sofa, drumming my fingers on the arm restlessly. My package would be arriving soon, I had paid a touch extra to have it delivered via special delivery. This was the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle, the last step to reaching the grand prize.

I squeezed my legs together trying to restrain my excitement and my right leg started jiggling.

Time was passing too slowly, I could not wait a moment more!.

“Relax Penelope,” I said aloud. “relax, not much longer”

'Perhaps it would be too much' I thought silently to myself.

“Absolutely not!” I told myself with a firm nod. I had worked hard for this, the extra hours at the Boutique to earn the extra bits would be worth it. Although it was delightful spending a little extra time with Rarity, and she has the most wonderful fabrics. They feel absolutely divine on the skin.

I smoothed down the fabric of my dress, over my chest, and down to my thighs. I gave a soft squeeze and hummed in delight at the softness of my body.

'Yes,' I thought, 'this will do nicely, no stallion could possibly refuse my curves'.

Since arriving in Equestria I had noticed the mares had extremely plushy rears. Not the big firm rear of my own horse Rupert back home, all muscle and tough hide, but a soft, squishy, plump and comely looking rear. I had taken to filling out my figure a little in the subsequent months.

My shape had changed from a slight and lissom thing, with graceful angles delicate points, to the plush and curvy form I now possessed.

Heat rose to my cheeks.

“Oh yes,” I purred “no stallion shall be safe from my derierre” as I slid the hand around my thigh to give my plump rear a little pat.

I let out a giggle.

“Oh yes indeed.”

I could feel a flush spread from my cheeks down to my flower petals, but ignored the wish to explore myself further. It simply would not do to be answering the door in such of state of disrepair, although I expected the mailmare would care not one jot.

I heard three firm knocks on the door.

“Just a moment!” I called out as I composed myself and rose from my seat. 'Finally' I thought to myself 'the time is nigh Penelope, soon you shall meet your destiny!'.

I giggled again at the silly thought and pattered over to the door. I couple of locks later and I was greeted to one of the cutest little ponies you could possibly imagine.

Derpy was a little over my waist height at her withers, and she had the cutest golden eyes, mane and tail. Her wings fluttered and lay at her side.

“Derpy!” I clattered straight to my knees and wrapped her in a cuddle. Ponies are the huggiest of all creatures and her squishy softness gave to my embrace like a giant teddy bear. I had yet to meet a pony that would refuse a hug, to do so would be utterly abhorrent, of course. I don't think I could take the heartbreak.

“Penny!” She responded in a chipper voice, returning my embracing arms in equal measure with her forelegs before, to my displeasure and despite my pouting face, she dropped back down and pulled a long looking box from her mail bag. “Parcel for Miss P” her face pointed at the label and her eyes screwed and rolled a little “Smee-ff?”

“Thats me!” I said raising a hand and pointing a finger to the heavens and wiggling it a little in a school girlish manner “Miss Penelope Smyth, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!” I said giggling all the while.

“Smive” she rolled my name around in her pretty pony face with a confused look. I simply could not resist, so I reached out, smooshed her chubby cheeks and gave her a little friendly kiss in the tip of her snout.

“Hello Miss Pony!” I let her go and gave her head a pat, and further moved my hand to give her a luxurious mane a stroke delighting in the glossy feel of it between my fingers. I gave another giggle as she nuzzled in to my arm.

Sadly all good things must come to an end, so I regretfully disengaged from petting pretty ponies and accepted the parcel. “I know my name is not quite what you are used to Derpy, it is not very pony like is it?, Penny is perfectly acceptable”

“Ok!” her chipper voice called out “got to be flying Penny, post to deliver!” she said as she turned around preparing to leave “Dinky said hi!” I let out a excited breath as I internally shouted 'hooray!' at the mention of the filly's name. “Come around any time!” she said as she flapped off, heading back to town.

“Oh I absolutely shall!” I called after her, waving; “let me foal-sit again this weekend!” I called as she flew away, not knowing if she heard me at all.

I held the box firmly as she flapped away, and let out a little sigh. Every time my pony friends left I was despondent for a moment, they are so carefree and loving. Such a wonderful outlook on life they had!.

I shook my head and brought my thoughts back to the parcel in my hands. It was quite heavy and a little awkward to hold due to its shape. It was fairly long, perhaps two feet, but did not have the same depth and breadth. It resembled, I realized, one of papa's hunting cases which he kept his shotguns in.

But this was an altogether different kind of deadly weapon.

I closed the door with a longing sigh and headed back in to my home.

I bit my bottom lip and skipped straight to my bedroom.

The box was placed on my bed and I untied the string holding the brown paper wrapping together and unwrapped my treat.

I had been working up to this for the best part of three months now and the excitement was beginning to get to me.

A flush of embarrassment flood through me and I pushed out a sigh, 'No milady, that simply shall not happen again'. The shame that burned deep in my soul from that disaster months ago was still raw, a pain that I thought I could never feel.

'But that was to change!' I thought with a firm nod and pulled back the brown paper wrapping.

An unassuming wooden box greeted me, I flashed a look to the stack similar cases stacked in ascending height beside my dressing table. This one of course was the largest by a few inches, and I took a moment to glide my fingers across the glossy varnished wood.

My hand slid over the lip to the metal latch at the side and I flicked it open.

I opened the box.

A moaning unladylike growl escaped my mouth, and I felt a tickling shudder throughout my body. My hands moved to my hips then trailed up to my breasts and gave them a needy grasp trying to pinch my nipples which were already painfully hard.

I stood, my eyes not leaving the box for a moment, and began to disrobe. I dropped my gown to my feet and kicked it over to the dresser and stood for a moment in my under garments. I took a finger and curled a lock of my hair absent-mindedly.

My finger left my hair and trailed to the intricate embroidery on my brazier trailing under my bosoms and tickling along my cleavage, tracing fingertip soft swirling patterns and circles all the while.

My finger tickled down further and I pressed the palm of my hand to my plush tummy, feeling in the extra padding I now possessed spread and wrap my hand. I could feel the warmth blossoming like a flower inside me, it's petals reaching out to every point of my inner being. I gave a gentle circle of my belly button then allowed my fingers to press down and come to rest just under the hem of my panties.

Oh how I burned!, but I restrained myself. My eyes had moved not an inch from the open box before me and I had to remind myself for why I was doing this.

A shudder swept through me, tickling from the cheeks of my bottom right up to the nape of my neck then right over my shoulders and to my breasts. I moved my other hand to my bottom and gave a cheek a grasp, swooning at the soft roundness, thankful that despite the weight I had gained that I had avoided any off-putting cellulite due to keeping fairly active and still being fairly young at a little over twenty years of age.

It would simply not do to have a unhealthy looking bottom for what I had planned.

I gripped the waist of my intricately embroidered panties and drew them slowly down my legs to feel them press and tickle in to my thighs and knees, before I unceremoniously kicked them away to rest upon my discarded gown.

“Oh yes, papa would be absolutely crestfallen should he see me now.” I whispered aloud to myself. “If only he knew exactly what his little princess was getting up to” I shivered throughout my whole body.

I moved my hands back to the box and wrapped my hands around the cause of my excitement.

It was a delightfully vulgar thing. A tool as it were. The largest I could find, a special order. It had to be the largest, of course, otherwise my training would go to waste. There would be no shameful failures after this.

I picked it up and brought it to my chest, then pressed my breasts around it. “Hmmm” I hummed out “oh yes, indeed Penelope” I brought it away from my bosom, “no stallion shall resist your wiles”

The object in question was, of course, my newest sex toy. A firm toy roughly the length of my forearm from elbow to finger tip. It had a thickness that I could not encircle with one hand. I was momentarily concerned when I realized such, but one does simply not give up when they have set themselves a goal.

And what a goal!

Oh how I swooned at the stallion of my desires. I masculine statue of stallion perfection, with bulging muscles, thick fur and a heady musk.

I brought my hand to touch the vacuum cup at the base of the spire, circling with a fingertip and then stroking the length of the artificial phallus. My fingers swept over the medial ring, and another brief tingle of worry made me question that I was capable of taking this, but I squashed the thought and crawled up on the bed.

I took a firm grasp of the phallus around the middle then pressed it to the wooden headboard, allowing the vacuum cup to hold it in place, so that it was pointing back down to the foot of the bed, it drooped in the most lewd of ways. I stroked down the length of it, from base to flattened tip to ensure that it was secured correctly.

“Now, that is simply perfect Penny” I tittered out at the sight before me.

I stood on the bed and brought my legs over the toy at the base, then stroked up the length of the spire with my sodden lady lips, kissing right to the tip then back down. I let out a gasp as I passed the medial ring on the return journey, the ribbed protrusion nicked delightfully against my clitoris, so I slid myself back and forth for a moment to allow myself the pleasure. The tingling through my core was almost unbearable.

“Now, lets not get ourselves carried away Penny” I said as I moved away and reached over to my bedside table. “this is not the fun part, this is just the warm up” I slid open the drawer and lifted out a vial of clear liquid. I pulled off the cork stopper and dipped my finger in to the liquid and rubbed it between my fingers, they glided smoothly against each-other without friction. “now lets get to work”. I unceremoniously upended the vial on the toy and let my hands get to work massaging the length of the it with the clear lubricant.

My hands were slick and slippery now. I brought both hands around my back and rubbed the oily liquid in to my bottom cheeks, whilst grasping and massaging.

“Lets get this show on the road Penny” I moved to my hands and knees and crawled myself in to position in front of the ludicrously large toy.

My loins were on fire and I could feel the oils running down the backs of my curvy thighs. A wonderful tickling sensation, I hope you understand.

I backed up so that the phallus lay flat on my back and brought my hand around. It lay upon my spine, right from my bottom to just below the blades of my shoulder. I let out a little shiver at the coolness of the liquid and the weight of the toy, then crept myself forwards to slide it off my back, then moved back again so that it was pressed against my mons. I pressed for a moment, feeling the subtle shapes and bumps at the end of the artificial penis on my lady lips as they kissed the tip and I gave a more insistent press with a slight roll of the hips as it pressed in to my lady button.

“Hnnng” the most greedy groan escaped me unbidden. “oh, if only my friends from boarding school could see me now!” I hissed out.

I reached between my legs to position the phallus in the optimal position.

Then pressed backwards so the tip spread my puckered anal sphincter. A little push was all that was needed to persuade my muscles to give way.

“Ahhhhn!” It was a delicious twinning of pleasure and pain as the ever so slightly flared tip pressed just inside me. This was the largest toy I had, and only three months ago this would have been simply impossible without the most torturous of pain. But I had given to this task with conviction and worked up to this moment. The small collection of toys stacked in the corner of the room in ascending size order was, quite literally, a testament to this.

This was not a flight of fancy.

I held myself for a couple of breaths to allow my body to accept the welcome intrusion, wiggling my bottom and feeling its sagging weight as I moved.

I moved backwards again, the slick spear pressed in to me, gliding with firm insistence and pushing in to my anus. I stopped for another second or two and bit my lip as I felt the fake medial ring tickling the insides of my bottom cheeks and approaching my gaping cavern.

Unbidden I clenched, and an unforgiving hardness resisted against me. A louder gasp exploded from my mouth.

“R-r-relax Penny” I huffed out to myself in gasping exhalations “nothing can stop you now, you are ready dear”

I pressed back against the phallus again and felt the medial ring of the wonderfully accurate faux stallion-hood press against the gate to my hot depths.

A gentle push and I gave. My anus spread and stretched to allow the deliciously painful examination of my rear end. A wonderful thought of accomplishment and embarrassment spread through my body adding heat and tingling the nerves up and down my spine.

It was a dramatic spreading of my most delicate parts. I was sure that no lady would be able to match the dexterity of my rosebud. I pressed further taking in inch after inch of the mind blowing vulgar rod.

The coolness of the lubricant was dripping from my bottom over my lady lips, so I brought my right hand down to feel the oily mess on my sodden lips and pressed in to my cleft with the palm of my hand. I ground both my hand and bottom and wondered at the tremendous feeling of fullness as my panting breaths compressed my tummy in to the insistent invading force of the toy.

“Ahhh!” my breathing hitched as I accidentally clenched on to the toy in my excitement, causing a hot pain to blossom in my bottom, then spread to my cheeks and tummy. But it was a good pain. A hot pain of fullness. I felt the burning and closed my eyes and panted out a breathy rhythm tasting the delectable feeling of spreading and expansion.

I held for a moment allowing myself to relax the abused muscle again and recommenced the swirling of my hips.

I brought my sodden damp hand and cupped my still brazier clad breasts firmly, then pulled them up to my cleavage exposing my fleshy mounds to the air. An exhilarating tingle shot from my breasts to my core as I tweaked and scrabbled for traction against the lubricant on my nipples.

I was right at the limit now, I could feel the intrusion pressing me deep in ways that would be impossible to replicate in my vagina, there was simply no way my feminine opening could take this much inside of it.

I allowed myself a superior thought of satisfaction for my idea of finally being able to satisfy the stallion who had entered my dreams and every waking thought.

The embarrassment of being unable to take his length dug deep. What kind of lady can not give pleasure to her stallion?.

Soon it would be him here. And he would be mine.

The thought stimulated me to move back and forth. Gaining confidence I allowed further movements and rocking my hips I allowed the medial ring to enter and leave me, stretching me to breaking point every time it passed the entry to my body.

I could feel every heartbeat through my centre and in my depths.

I brought a slick hand and pressed it to my tummy to feel my insides. I could feel the flared tip of the toy moving through me as I swayed back and forth, bulging and pushing my innards aside without remorse. It was an impossible sensation. It was both so incredibly vile and delightfully exotic. I pressed harder hoping to feel more of the firm girth as it spread my insides to make room for itself.

My body had no defence against it.

My legs shook and my arms became weak as I struggled to keep pushing myself back in to the heavenly rod as my insides were ploughed around it.

It was simply too much.

With a wailing scream I shook with a force I could never hope to replicate. My whole body exploded in a pulsing wash of heat as my lady lips sprayed a gushing torrent of feminine fluids. My arms folded and I flopped down on the bed, the toy falling free of the headboard and being brought with me due to the concrete grasp of my sphincter.

I shuddered and convulsed through my orgasm and let my thoughts drift to red fur and golden mane. I clenched my breasts and twisted my nipples, huffing at the lack of grip due to earlier spreading the lubricant upon them.

“Oh, oh!” I panted out every breath as my orgasm seemed to extend beyond simple moments in to minutes.

Finally I came down from the exhilarating high, a panting sweaty mess. The toy was still firmly embedded in its place in my rear end.

I allowed myself a minute to savour the feeling.

“Oh” I sighed out at length as I reached down to the toy in my bottom, then slowly, carefully began to remove it from my insides.

It came out, the medial ring stretched me further, then a slight sense of relief as the toy thinned before getting to the slightly flared tip.

One final deliciously lewd slurp and it popped free.

“Oh Penny” I said to myself “whatever are we to do with you”

The Lady And The Stallion

I walked up the path to the farm, purse in hand, with a slight feeling of trepidation. “Oh, calm down you silly girl” I said to myself. “This time, there will be no disappointments”

Nervously I peeked in to my purse to check I had everything I needed. It wasn't much, but to see the glass vial unbroken and sealed was a relief.

I increased my pace as I neared the barn then stood stock still to allow myself the chance to listen for any of the other farm ponies that may be working nearby. It was around the time that they would be bringing back their carts with their haul from the mornings hard work.

There was a clatter in the barn, then the sound of reigns being cinched.

I waited.

From the barn Applejack strode. Giving herself a quick once over to make sure the cart was secured correctly.

I ducked behind a tree.

I longed to go over and hug the plushy pony, but restrained myself admirably.

It only took a minute before she was off again, so I waited for an extra minute before emerging from my hiding place and casting a glance for any other unwanted attention.

Satisfied there was no ponies around I sneaked to the barn door and opened it, before ducking in and closing it behind me.

I was panting and sweating with nervous tension. A hunger from two days of fasting gnawed away at my tummy. I gave it a gentle pat. “Not long to go, Penny” I said “then you shall be all full up!”

I giggled a little at the terrible thought of what would soon be filling my tummy right up!.

I cast a look around the barn looking for something I could use. I knew that I was not strong enough to mate like a pony does, let alone take a stallion in the way a pony does. My body was simply too small and too fragile. My feminine channel to tiny by half.

I spotted a pair of bales of hay in the corner of the room so I tippy-toed over to them.

'It will be itchy on the skin, but I can work with this' I though to myself as I puzzled out my next move.

I bent down and dragged one of the bales to the centre of the barn and returned to the other, doing the same, then I reached down and pulled, stacking them atop each-other.

“Yes, this shall do nicely” I muttered.

It had been two days since I had worked my body and I had been unable to think of anything since. The thought of the stallion mounting me and taking me to be his mare was utterly burned in to my mind. I took a couple of panting breaths and loosened my dress, before kicking it off then hiding it behind the bales.

I pressed my hands in to the top of the stacked bales to test that they would be stable when weight was put upon them, then I lowered my torso.

The dried grass scratched and pinched at me. “This will simply not do Penelope” I said as I cast a glance around the barn, my eyes drifted to a musty looking sheet in the corner of the room. I dashed over to grab it. It was not soft like the fabrics Rarity works with, and certainly not clean, but I was wishing to get a little 'down and dirty' to claim my stallion, it would do the job, I thought.

I dragged the sheet to the bales and spread it over them. Dropping my chest back to the bales with their new covering. “this is just the ticket.” I muttered out.

I heard some sound from outside so I dashed stealthily to the crack in the door. Applejack was in the doorway to her home, probably talking to Granny Smith about something inconsequential. I froze and watched, hoping she would be off to work in the orchard again soon. It would not do to be disturbed.

Thankfully she moved away, shut the door and headed back out to the trees in the eastern fields.

The time was quickly approaching.

I removed my brazier and undergarments and hid them with my dress then moved back to the door to wait. It would not be long before my stallion arrived, and with Applejack heading off to the fields it would be some time before she was ready to bring in another load of apples from the harvest.

My hand snaked between my thighs as I stood at the door to tease myself and prod at my lady lips. Ponies had a quite miraculous sense of smell for these things. I was certain the dampness I was making would get my strong stallion hot and bothered. I took a moment to press my clitoris and prod a finger in to myself, I was burning quite profoundly.

I heard hooves in the distance. Heavy hooves. Oh such manly heavy hooves tramping upon the ground.

It was time.

I dashed back to the bales of hay and picked up my purse, pulling the vial out. The hoofsteps were thudding ever closer, so without further ado I popped the cork and bent over at the waist.

It was a little awkward as I bent over the bales I had stacked and teased my bottom open with a finger, then two.

I poured the lubricant as well as I could with my other hand, then used the two fingers in my bottom to push and massage the liquid in to myself.

The hooves were close now, so I poured the last of the liquid as quick as I could before tossing the vial to the corner of the barn.

Everything was just tickety boo.

I was ready.

My stallion was at the door now, and I am sure my scent was all the invitation he would need. I flipped my messy fingers to the musty sheet and quickly wiped them off and took up a stance, bent over at the waist, resting my upper torso and elbows on the bale table I had created. I spread my legs to a little under shoulder width.

I was the perfect height for him to take.

The door of the barn creaked open and I could hear a snuffling noise from my stallion.

I looked over my shoulder.

Big Macintosh stood at the entrance to the barn in all his wondrous glory, yoke around his neck and cart behind him. The thick fur on his chest curled with sweat.

Oh how I swooned, I could almost feel the weight of his strength in the air, the air pressure seemed to increase and the heat in the barn exploded.

“Oh, Big Macintosh” I called to him “I have been waiting for you” I called over to him.

I could see him reach down to release the straps of the cart from the yoke, before he discarded the yoke to the floor and kicked the door shut.

“This will not be like last time my dear” I said as a flush rose to my cheeks. “your mare is ready to be claimed.” I said. It had been three months since the last time I had tried to take this stallion, three months ago I had seduced the towering wall of strength.

Three months since I had failed to part my lady lips and allow him to take me. Three months since my mortified former self had ran away in tears and embarrassment.

I was simply too small down there, too slight, there was not enough space for him to fit.

Three months of using toys to expand my bottom, for that was where I was going to be taken, enough to allow his girth to fill me. My lady lips, I knew, could never give to his size.

This time would be different. With a little compromise and a little work I was going to give myself to my stallion and be his mare.

I rolled my hips, hoping that my now more plush rear would excite his pony mind.

Oh, I was not disappointed. His nose spread and he took two huffing sniffs at my musk from across the room. His gargantuan penis descended from its sheath. A drop of moisture descended the cleft of my labia.

I rolled my hips again.

“Miss Penny” he mumbled out “Ah' aint seen ya fer months”

“Oh, Big Macintosh,” I purred “don't you worry about a silly thing like that, rest assured that you have been on my mind a great deal” I delighted in the fact that my words stiffened his rod causing it to slap against his belly most spectacularly. “would you like to claim your mare?”

“Ah, reckon' ah do Miss Penny” he said with a little more firmness and a nod. “if yer sure t'aint no problem for yer”

“Oh I assure you Mr Macintosh, I am most ready”

He walked over to me and took another deep sniffle as he approached. “Don't reckon ah was 'spectin you bein' in heat again Miss Penny”

I suppressed a smile, I did not go in to heat like a pony does of course. But my appetite was great and the excitement between my legs was enough to give the appearance.

“Only for you, my handsome stallion” I purred over my shoulder.

His rod I realized, now that I was close enough to judge it after so long, was larger than any toy that I had back at home, and a small spike of worry gnawed deep in my gut.

But I would not fail today.

Today he would be my stallion.

The bales were stacked at the perfect height, his waist would meet mine perfectly. He reared then placed his hooves either side of my hips on the bales then shuffled forwards bringing his penis to my mound. I could feel it press against my lady lips and smearing my moisture, I almost allowed him to thrust in to me but there was no way he would fit there.

“Allow me” I said as I reached down and, unbeknownst to him, brought him to my back passage. “take me!” I said holding him there.

He thrust in to me. It was fast and sharp, he sank in a single moment more than three inches in to me. He was spreading my sphincter in a way that stung sharply, the pain shot through me and I shuddered.

It was so incredibly vulgar.

But oh! how my body gave to him!.

I felt him re-position and bring his fore-hooves up to either side of my head, so I moved both of my hands to grab on to them. The thick fur around his fetlocks tickled through my fingers.

He thrust again, more of his spire pushed in to me, only stopped by the medial ring on his most perfect length.

“Ahhhhnn!” I gasped out, it was so large. Larger than I had expected. I was spread so wide I felt I may break. It was an almost spiritual experience.

One more thrust and the medial ring insisted upon entrance to my depths, another stinging pain like a hard slap on the bottom crashed through me.

“Tight” he said simply.

“I am all for you” I replied.

One more thrust and the farmer ploughed my depths with the entirety of his tool. “AHH!” I screamed out a keening wail. “OH, YES!” I shouted, caring not if I disturbed any passing ponies “MAKE ME YOUR MARE MISTER MACINTOSH” I called.

His head dropped to my hair and he took two huffing sniffs before he took a mouthful in his mouth and tugged.

Stinging, exhilarating, sharp, vulgar and welcome pain at both ends of my body caused me to shiver around his length buried in my dirty cave. I was so incredibly full “Oh Macintosh, claim your mare”.

“Eeyup” he said simply before withdrawing, his medial ring brought another pain filled gasp from my mouth before he slammed himself back in. Once more he did the same and once more he retreated.

Then he slammed with all his immense strength, tugging my hair and pressing his entire weight down upon me. I felt his heartbeat through his rod, pushing, parting and separating my innards.

Wait.

Wait just one moment.

Big Mac was huffing and panting in to my hair. His rear legs shuddered. And his rod was pulsing.

He was ejaculating in to my bottom.

After three thrusts.

I was mortified, three months of training myself to take his length and girth. Three months of dreaming about taking him, of him making me his woman, his mare.

For this?

He panted and lifted himself up, pulling out slowly, my rear holding tight, I could not help it, he was simply so large.

“Is... are you quite done?!” I said in exasperation as his girth plopped out of me and I moved to cover myself with a hand so he could not see my gaping abused sphincter. It felt quite raw.

“Eeyup” he said as he trotted back to the door of the barn. His semen was dribbling out of me and squelching between my fingers.

I opened my mouth as if to tell him exactly what I thought of that performance!.

Then something slithered in to my mind,

'Oh darn!' I thought 'of bloody course!, he is a bloody horse!'

"Drat!"