A Silver Thread of Fate

The white unicorn mare—Mommy said her name was Rarity—hums as she looks down at me. Around her float needles, threads, and various bits of cloth. “Oooh, you look absolutely precious, but there’s something missing, darling.”

Just as Mommy and Daddy told me, I stand completely still on the big stool in the dressmaker’s studio. Even so, I can’t help but turn my head slightly to look to her. “Am I really precious, Ms. Rarity?”

She beams at me, levitating a golden tiara before me. “Absolutely.” There’s a white gemstone nested in the tiara that I feel drawn to. “And this will complete the ensemble! Since your name and coloring centers around silver, which is linked to the moon, Selenite seemed to be the proper choice for you.”

The golden ornament floats toward me, rotating and wrapping around my head. It fits perfectly, resting just beneath my horn. The thing is weird, but not uncomfortable.

“Now then, darling.” She daintily lifts me with her magic, moving me from the stool to the floor. “Come with me, and we shall show off your new outfit to your Mommy and Daddy and all of their friends.”

The mare leads me through her boutique to a set of curtains. As I stand there, I catch a sidelong glance of myself. A white leotard encases my torso, over which is a navy blue skirt that doesn’t quite cover my bum. My legs are all covered in matching long navy boots. The navy neckerchief around my neck is fastened with a pink heart brooch.

I look so magical...

“Presenting, Pretty Guardian Sailor Silver!” comes Rarity’s voice as the curtains part. My legs don’t want to work at first, but with a bit of telekinesis, she pushes me out onto the stage.

There, crowded around the stage are Auntie Twilight, her friends, Daddy, Mommy, and even Princess Luna. All of them are smiling, stomping their hooves, or in the case of Mommy and Miss Fluttershy, cooing. It feels... nice, this.

Getting into the whole display, I strike a heroic pose. “I am Sailor Silver, a warrior of justice! In the name of the Moon, I will protect the weak, and triumph over evil!” I don’t exactly know why I say it, but it feels right.

The stage platform rotates, showing off my outfit and petite form to the crowd. Everypony loves it; Mom and Fluttershy are especially going wild for some reason. Am I really that cute?

I make eye contact with Princess Luna, and a wave of dizziness washes over me. Suddenly, Rarity’s boutique and showroom are so much less vibrant. Even the ponies seem somehow seem less present. It’s almost like they’re see-through.

The midnight blue alicorn steps out of the crowd. “This is a dream,” she says in a soft voice. “We must have words, Penny.”

Instantly, all of the other ponies dissolve into motes of light. Rarity’s boutique fades away. I’m left alone with Princess Luna in a featureless void. Funny enough, the costume remains, and I’m still smaller than I should be.

“Princess Luna...?” I ask, shaking my head free of the confines of my dream imposed perception. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

Her expression turns dour, but her eyes never lose the softness that accompanied her voice. “We should think so,” she ranswers, stepping forward. The princess practically looms over me, causing me to flinch back slightly. “You have been through many traumatic ordeals in such a short time—things that have given more mature, mentally stable ponies recurring nightmares...”

She looks to the side, and a small pane of magic appears, showing my fight with the blightwolf in the third pony perspective. Even my near rape. The image shifts, showing myself chained in the ritual circle, my soul protruding from my chest. “These would have broken lesser ponies, Silver Penny. And yet...”

Now the pane shows me nestled beneath the wing of Silver Script, sleeping quite happily. It flickers, and suddenly a small unicorn filly is playing catch with Shining Armor. It flickers again and I’m posing for a crowd of my family and their friends.

Her expression turns sad. “You’re having such safe, albeit infantile dreams.” She turns away from me and dismisses the viewing pane. “That isn’t right, Penny. In fact, it’s downright horrifying. At the very least there should be some sort of element of fear in your dreams, but twice you’ve entered REM over the last day, and twice you’ve had these dreams.”

Conjuring up a cushion, I lie down before Luna. A heaviness presses down on my heart and tears begin filling my eyes. “Do you want me dreaming about this!?” I scream, conjuring up a viewing pane that depicts me getting fucked by the blightwolf, my vagina bleeding and tearing as he fucks me... my hips ripping apart as he forces his knot into my shredded insides, leaving me a mess of blood and cum. “Is that what you want?”

“Penny, no, I...”

“Or what about this!?” I bellow. The image distorts, and suddenly I’m flying over Canterlot on draconic wings, my naked, spade-tipped tail trailing behind me as pestilence spreads in my wake. “Would you rather I dream about hurting everypony I care about!?”

She looks at me in horror as I tremble on the conjured pillow, tears rushing down my cheeks. I turn my head away and clench my eyes shut. This is awful. Nopony should be screaming at Princess Luna, least of all me... yet I’m doing it like a petulant child.

“The only reason I’m having these nice, happy dreams is because...” I sniffle, opening my eyes and just gazing at her hooves. “It’s because Silver Script’s presence is like that of my mother... It’s comforting me. I feel safe with her for some reason, and by tonight she’ll be... she’ll be gone!” In a quieter voice, I ask, “Is it so wrong that I have these cancerously cute dreams while I can?”

Luna doesn’t move. I can feel her gaze bore into me, but I daren’t look her in . “Penny, I...” She falters. “Why won’t you let anypony help you?”

I’m taken aback. The question isn’t accusatory, but there’s something about it that ruffles my feathers. No, wait. I’m not a pegasus. It tweaks my horn. It’s not like she’s talking down to me, or an intonation of pity. No, it’s like a teacher who wants the best for you, but has been asked a question that the student should know the answer to.

“You’re... disappointed in me for trying to be strong and independent?” I ask, trying to be sure of what I’m hearing. “Is that what you’re saying?”

The alicorn princess reaches out one hoof to lift my chin up to look into her eyes—her teary eyes. Oh fuck I made Princess Luna cry... My stomach drops at the sight of the hurt on her face.

“No, please, don’t cry,” I quickly beg, gently taking her hoof between my own. “I didn’t mean it like—”

Cutting me off, the Moon Princess jerks her hoof from my grasp before wrapping her forelegs and wings around me. Um... what... I’m confused.

“This is my fault, Penny,” she apologizes, much to my surprise. “I’d genuinely hoped you would seek help. My sister and I could both see how hurt you were... how much you were holding in.”

She releases me and the void around us takes the form of a large room in a stone keep. The walls were adorned with tapestries of the night sky, a very rudimentary telescope seated by a small window in the far wall. Through the window, chanting could be heard...

“Hail Celestia, vanquisher of the King of all Monsters!”

A wooden door near us slammed open, revealing a younger, enraged Princess Luna. “We fight together and rule as equals she says,” the young princess hisses, slamming the door shut with her magic behind her. As she speaks, I note the words don’t seem to match her lip movements. “All the while, ponies shun my night in fear, make fell insinuations about me, and solely credit her for all we do!”

Throwing herself on the bed, I see the young Luna pull a pillow over her face to scream. “It isn’t fair! Don’t they realize all that I do for them?” Despite the muffling of the pillow, her words are clear to me.

I look from the young princess to the actual Luna. Seeing my confused look, she explains. “Before my fall, I was jealous of my sister. Together we worked to make Equestria a safer place for all of our little ponies. Yet nopony wanted anything to do with me due to superstitions about me and my association with the bat ponies.”

There comes a gentle knock on the door. “Luna, are you alright?” comes Celestia’s gentle voice. “After the victory parade, you just ran off and nopony knew where you were.”

Princess Luna looks longingly at the door, a sad look in her eyes. “If only I’d spoken to my sister sooner... she could have helped me connect with our little ponies...”

The room warps around us, and suddenly it’s no longer her bedchamber, but a throne room. Lounging on the throne is an older Luna, sneering down at Princess Celestia at the bottom of the dais.

“Instead, I became this.”

“There can only be one princess in Equestria! And that princess will be me!” bellowed Luna as black smoke wreathed her form, obscuring her entirely. As it cleared, there stood a pitch-black alicorn in full silver-blue regalia.

Before everything fades back to the void, Princess Celestia can be heard saying, “Luna, I will not fight you! You must lower the moon! It is your duty!”

For a while, neither of us can say anything. I just sit there, wrapped in Princess Luna’s embrace. Why did she show me all of this? I just don’t get it. It can’t be...

“Princess, did you show me all of this as a means to try to get me to open up to somepony?” I ask, breaking out of her grasp. “Do you want me to just... talk to ponies about how I feel, regardless of how I think they’ll respond?”

I conjure up images of all of the ponies and non-ponies I know. Twilight and Spike coalesce first, quickly flanked by Shining Armor and Cadance, and then Night Light and Twilight Velvet. Next to the group appears Strong, Eve, and the rest of Eta Squad. The remaining elements of Harmony finally appear alongside Luna and Celestia—more of a second thought than anything else.

Curiously, I don’t feel compelled to conjure up Lyra and Bon-Bon, whom I’ve yet to spend any real time with since coming back to Ponyville. I just... even though I said I don’t hate them, I don’t know how to handle either of them. In letting go of Soren, a lot of my memories of them just feel like they’re secondhand.

Princess Luna looks from the images to me with a look of confusion on her face. “Are these the only ponies you feel safe talking to?” she asks, her voice trembling. “Or are these the only ponies you know?”

My ears lower as she asks the question and her jaw drops. “Have you made no friends since moving to Ponyville?”

I shake my head. “Been too busy trying not to be in the public eye. I just help out with the library, and continue to study magic... and tinker,” I explain. “Other than that, I take on a patrol jobs along the border of the Everfree.”

“Why... oh.” The reason I’ve been so reclusive hits her like a train. “You fear ponies connecting you to Soren, and therefore shunning you.”

I nod, a frown on my face as I turn back to the conjured images. “Of these ponies, let’s talk about why I don’t open up to them.” And so, I begin to lecture the princess as to why I don’t open up to anypony around me. As I go over each pony, I make them disappear.

Twilight’s nice, but she’s too innocent about a lot of things. She might know what rape is, but does she have the tact to deal with a pony who was almost the victim of such? Would she know how to help somepony who still hates herself for having killed in self defense?

Spike’s just too young to heap any of that on. He barely understands his own affection toward Rarity, and can you blame him? I mean, have you seen that tush? He wouldn’t understand half of what I’m trying to convey, and I’d just end up scaring and scarring him.

Speaking of Rarity, I don’t think I could heap any of this on her, Fluttershy, or Pinkie. All of them come off as very pure ponies. Rarity might read some naughty romance novels, and Flutters surely knows a fair deal about death, but none of them should have to hear about how straight up killing a living, thinking being has warped me.

Applejack and Dash are both iffy. I get this weird feeling that they’d have my back if I put some trust into them both, but... Kinda the same as the rest at this point.

Mom, Dad, Grandfather, and Grandmother are all far away, and what I’ve been through isn’t the sort of stuff you discuss with a pony over the mail. Can you imagine starting a letter with “Dear Mom and Dad, the other day I was nearly raped to death by a demon and now I worry that I might accidentally hurt someone if they touch me when I’m not expecting it.” Same effectively goes for Eta Squad, and usually the two of you.

Finally, Princess Luna stops me as the last ponies vanish from the dreamscape. “Penny, I asked you long ago to seek therapy.” She sounds hurt when she says this. “Are you saying that you ignored my request?”

My eyes snap to the princess, a wide-eyed stare as my hackles raise. I rise to my hooves, flaring out my wings in an aggressive posture. “Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I sneer. “Just go off to a shrink, be declared unstable and locked up? Unable to defend myself from those who would take advantage of the infirm, knowing nopony would believe the gibbering of a madmare until she’s practically foaling in her cell?”

The dreamscape shifts into a white, padded room. In one corner, I sit, wrapped tightly in a straight-jacket with my magic restricted by horn-encompassing sleeve. This other me’s eyes look vacant, occasional tears running down her cheeks.

Occasionally, the scene shifts, the light vanishing from the cell. The prisoner Penny now has her face buried in the padded floor as a black, pony-shaped mass ruts her. At these times, dark whispers tug at our ears, promising death and destruction if ever I were to be freed.

“Being locked up in a mental health facility is my personal idea of hell!” I scream, flapping my wings to dismiss the sight. Somehow, Princess Luna looks smaller, more foalish as I look at her. “Not knowing if I’m about to be victimized by an opportunist? I have no guarantee that can’t happen here, because I know that on the inside, ponies are just the same as humans!”

Luna breaks eye contact with me, instead shifting her gaze to the wings at my sides. “Penny... you don’t have wings. Why...”

The anger and rage coursing through the center of my being ceases as she says this. Of course I don’t have wings! Why would I?

I turn my head. Feathery wings greet me as I look on in confusion. What the hell? This doesn’t make any sense. “What the hell...”

My gaze returns to the princess. “Penny, what has happened? Neither my sister or I have detected an ascension,” she says carefully. “How can you have wings if you’ve not...”

Icy fear races through my core as I stare down at her. Does she suspect that I’ve still somehow been altered by the demon? Have I? No... I’m pretty sure Ardent Soul would have said something if I had!

How then? Think: when did I first ever think I had wings?

It was... when I hit my head while fighting the demon... when I saw a male Aqua Regia... He raped and murdered me... Were those Silver Script’s memories?

Focusing on my core, I call out, “Book, I don’t know if you can hear this, but if you can, I need you to look for any memories that seem like they don’t belong.” Luna looks at me with a critical gaze. “Lock down the emotional values of them until I can review them!”

Taking some calming breaths, I lie back down on my conjured pillow. Book will find something, surely. That’s the only thing that makes sense.

“Penny, did you just ask your memory imprint to autonomously shut down the emotional impact of your memories at random?” she asks, taking a step back. “Don’t you know how dangerous that is? It’s one thing to willingly let go of a specific part of yourself but this...”

I shake my head. “It’s not at random, not really,” I explain, noting that the wings are beginning to dissolve. “Since my first interactions with the spirit Silver Script, I’ve been having moments where thoughts and my voice didn’t seem like my own. At first, I thought I was just going crazy, but I think every time we’ve made contact, Script has been inadvertently been leaving... presents, so to speak. I just asked her to find anything that seemed out of place.”

The wings finish dissolving, and we’re left in silence for a few moments. The princess looks at me in horror and wonderment. I look at her with fear and anxiety as I shrink back down to size. She could try to have me locked up for being so flippant about letting my memory imprint alter my mind.

After a few minutes of silence, a small tome appears at my hooves. It flips itself open to the approximate middle, and out climbs a little anthropomorphic me. Funny enough, she too is wearing the outfit I’d been dreaming about not long ago.

“Sorry it took so long, Boss,” Book apologizes, sinking to her knees on her tome and pressing her forehead to the pages. “They were so well-hidden that I didn’t even realize they were there until I was actually looking for them.”

With a feeling of pride, I reach my hoof out and begin rubbing her head. Much like a cat, she leans into it, allowing my hoof better access to her ears. “Attagirl,” I reply. “What’cha find?”

She picks herself up off the book, but returns to a proper seated position after brushing herself off. With a look of excitement, she grins up at me. “What didn’t I find!?” she exclaims. “I found Silver Script’s complete knowledge and understanding of alchemy, several memories pertaining to Princess Aqua Regia of House Blueblood, some knowledge of the Neighponese language, full flight knowledge and memories of how to fly, some very personal romantic memories, and even I’ve added some notes to the bestiary regarding two creatures that you should look at later!”

Amazing, simply amazing. She found and locked down that much in only a few minutes!

Without even thinking about it, I grab her with my magic and pull her into a hug. “You’re the best, Book,” I coo, nuzzling her like a doll. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Princess Luna’s horror seems to melt away as she watches my interactions with Book. A small smile spreads across her face as she watches the two of us. It’s almost like she can’t believe the pony she just saw fearing rape and torture could behave as I am now... Or maybe she’s just amazed at the friendship I’ve formed with my memory imprint.

Releasing Book, I sigh happily. “Go get some rest, my friend,” I instruct her. Jumping to her feet, two tiny dainty hooves, she gives me a salute before pulling her book closed over herself. It’s absolutely adorable with her in that outfit and I can’t help but let out a small ‘Aww’.

Turning my attention back to the princess, I say, “I dunno what I’d do without her.”

All she can manage in response is, “Why Book for a name?”

That actually forces a chuckle out of me. “Oh, that. I figured if I gave her an ordinary name, it’d keep her ego in check. I offered to let her pick her name once, and she went with Mnemosyne. That’s the Greek Goddess of Memory, by the way.”

She gives me that look that a lot of mares seem to give me. That cross between, ‘Uh-huh,’ and ‘I wish you ended that a few sentences sooner.’ Seriously, how do ponies do that? They make it look so easy, but whenever I practice it, I just end up with scrunchy face!

“Well, Princess Luna, I—”

My head throbs, and a chill races down my spine. Oh no... not now...

The dreamscape warps and twists into a white expanse. Cold seeps into my fur and flesh, and snow dances around me, obscuring everything. I don’t know where it is I’m standing, but it reminds me of that town.

“I can feel your magic, little one...”

The voice is chilling—deep, and masculine—but not that of the blightwolf.

Snow crunches somewhere ahead. At first, I don’t see anything; the snow’s too thick. But then I realize that I’m staring at two bright yellow points surrounded by darkness... and then a face resolves around that. It’s blood red... a ring through the nose... and massive horns.

“Hide as you might, I will have you... and then... the Crystal Empire!”

Just staring at those eyes, and seeing his mouth open up, I begin to feel drained... and tired. My body sags, and I can no longer support myself.

Oh no. Please no. Nopony’s going to take my magic. Nopony! Please don’t let this happen... magic’s all I’ve got left.

“Penny, wake!”

~ 16 ~

I wake with a start.

The room around me feels cold, although that may be due to being alone in the hospital bed. No Silver Script with her wing wrapped around me, no blanket pulled over me... Nada. Just me and an empty, dark room and a wet bed.

The gravity of what I felt hits me like a freight train. I wasn’t just having my magic sealed or being pushed to burnout... I dry heave as I climb off the bed. I was having my very ability to use my magic ripped out of me by force. It’s one of the core elements that makes me who I am now, and it felt like I was being robbed of it.

I drag myself into a corner and just clutch myself tightly. The pungent odor of urine clings to my fur, but I barely notice it. To be unable to use magic... I’d be utterly defenseless. Without my magic, what am I? Nothing. I don’t have any real friends of my own, and aside from my hunts, patrols, and tinkering, I have no hobbies. Magic is all that I am...

I’m literally becoming like Twilight was...

It takes a lot of shame to admit it, but in this moment of helplessness, in feeling so damned weak, I weep like a foal. Try as I might, I just can’t stop myself. Even though it was just a nightmare—one that happened right in front of Princess Luna—I’m shaken hard. My self-control is practically non-existent. I can’t help it... I don’t want my magic taken away...

Who knows how long I just sit there sobbing in a corner, reeking of piss? Certainly not me; I’m just a nervous wreck, losing track of time. Maybe it’s fair that I allow myself some time to feel this way.

Color me surprised when somepony finally comes to check on me... The mare who flicks on the lights and finds me isn’t Redheart or one of the nurses, Aunt Twilight or one of her friends, or even Eve. It’s... Bon-Bon?

I mean, I’m like 90% sure. She can try to hide it with a black suit-jacket, sunglasses, and a bowler hat, but come on; you can’t disguise those candy-floss pink and blue mane colors, her cream coat, or the cutie mark of three wrapped candies.

As the light comes on and my teary eyes snap to the her, she halts in her tracks. Bon-Bon’s still looking at the bed, and I don’t doubt she can see a large wet spot on the comforter.

Over the tops of her sunglasses I see her eyes widen, and her head jerks from side to side as she looks around the room. “Sor—I mean, Miss Silver Penny, are you here?” she calls out, still not spotting me. She can hear me but not see me? “I’m Agent Sweetie Drops from S.M.I.L.E.”

The strangeness of it all is enough to get me to snap me out of my funk. Canceling a spell I didn’t realize I’d been casting, I say, “I’m over here, Bon-Bon.” Did I just subconsciously use an illusion spell? “If you’re gonna be incognito, the least you can do is use some sort of illusion enchantment to disguise your cutie mark... and the fuck is S.M.I.L.E.?”

The mare coughs nervously and pushes her sunglasses further up on her snout. “Secret Monster Intelligence League of Equestria; we’re responsible for all Their Majesties' monster-related information gathering.” Her muzzle scrunches as she looks away. “Had the pencil pusher who took the report regarding the blightwolf done their job properly, our agency would have been dispatched in coordination with a Royal Guard contingent.”

Hearing her confirm that some pencil pusher fucked up, I begin to bristle. Biting back a rude comment, I instead make my way back to the bed. “Is that why you’re here?” I query. For a moment, I think about getting up on the bed, but the smell reminds me of my shame. “To debrief me and the exorcist?”

The agent who totally isn’t Bon-Bon shakes her head and tentatively approaches. “No, I was surprised to be contacted directly by the crown following my retirement,” she says. From a sleeve on her suit jacket, she withdraws a roll of parchment. “You were recently asleep, and in contact with Princess Luna, correct?”

I nod, beginning to feel uneasy.

She unrolls the parchment on the floor in front of me. “Does this look familiar to you?” she slaps her hoof down on the sheet. “Have you ever seen it before?”

As soon as my eyes look down at the parchment, a scream tears itself from my throat. Like an icy grasp into my brain, that horrifying memory of my magic being taken from me takes hold. More out of reflex than anything else, I set the parchment ablaze.

“Get it away,” I cry, shrinking back from the parchment. Somehow, seeing that charcoal sketch of the face from my nightmare in flames doesn’t make it any better. If anything, it’s scarier. “Why do you have that?”

“Penny, I need you to answer the question,” she demands, trying to stamp out the flames on the parchment. “Have you seen ever seen him before?”

“Oh fuck, he’s real!?” I cry. Just like that, I’m sobbing again. Against my better judgement, I drag myself underneath the hospital bed. Why doesn’t she at least try to comfort me?

She sighs, picking up what remains of the drawing. “This isn’t good... could it be a premonition?” she mutters, more to herself than to me. “There’s no reasonable explanation for why she’d see Tirek in her dream.”

At some point after I stop crying under the bed, but before Agent Sweetie Drops can bring herself to leave, another pony enters the room. Armored hooves... blue-grey coat... that’s Eve!

I peer out from under the bed at the two. Huh, the disembodied head of Silver Script is sitting atop Eve’s back, looking quizzically at Bon-Bon. Once Bon-Bon sees Silver, however, I see the mare visibly shiver.

Rolling her eyes, Silver begins looking around the room. Once she sees me, she somehow propels herself off of Eve’s back. She just hops along the floor as if she were an in-training level Digimon—wow, I still remember that stuff.

“Sergeant?” Bon-Bon begins. “Agent Sweetie Drops, S.M.I.L.E.. Has Ardent Soul gone off to deposit the soul gem in Tartarus yet?”

I don’t catch any more of their conversation as they leave. “Hey kiddo,” Silver says, sliding under the bed with me. Almost immediately, she’s nuzzling me. “Sorry I had to leave you. Eve and Ardent wanted to talk to me.”

I don’t quite push her away, but she’s perceptive enough to catch my flinch. Backing off to a respectable distance, she frowns. “Penny, what’s wrong?”

It takes a bit for me to find my words. Slowly, I explain the dream and my time with Luna... The memory, the wings... That nightmare thing. I can still remember how horrible it felt.

“Penny, listen, if you inherited a bunch of my memories...” She pauses, biting her lip. “Promise me you’ll avoid the Aqua Regia and romantic memories if you can. Ice Blossom was and is better off without us, and Aqua... She’s a broken pony, Penny; I’ve seen iterations of me where she didn’t kill me, and they didn’t have a happy ending either. Her life is so beyond fucked that she’s a lost cause.”

How can someone who was me say such a thing? I know what it’s like to be that ‘lost cause’, thinking that nopony should help me because of what I’ve done. So what if she killed another iteration of me in another life... can one pony really be so beyond help?

My eyes narrow as I look at her. “I’ll be the judge of whether or not I involve myself with Princess Aqua Regia, Script,” I say flatly. “As for your marefriend, I’ll leave those memories unincorporated out of respect for you.”

Silver Script gives a long-suffering sigh—how do you do that with no fucking lungs?—and turns away. “I mean it, Penny. She’s not worth it; she’s not somepony you can fix.”

I need some time to think. I can’t believe that there’s no way I could help her. As arrogant as the mare seemed when we met I could see the hurt... the fear of her brother. No, stop. You need to get better yourself before you worry about fixing somepony else.

~ 16 ~

A few hours pass in silence. I just lie there under the bed watching the last of Silver Script dissipate. Eventually, after Silver’s gone, a nurse checks up on me and helps me get cleaned up. Not long after that, they tell me that I’m free to go. Somehow, I thought I’d be there longer, but I didn’t incur any other physical injuries during the exorcism. My ribs and surgical incisions are healing nicely, so they see no reason to keep me.

So as I leave the hospital that evening, with what possessions of mine that weren’t ruined by demon blood, I’m left wondering what to do. I’m sure Aunt Twilight will be probably expecting me to show up soon, and if I’m not home before dark, she’ll probably end up looking for me. I won’t take too long... I just wanna have some time to myself.

Dressed in my hat, scarf, and snow boots, with my saddle-bags slung over my back, I make my way south from the hospital. If ever there was a good place to stop and think, it’s the park at the south end of Ponyville. It’s a good, quiet place.

Sure, it represents a really bad memory for me, but that’s all it is... a memory. All places have good memories and bad memories, but I see now that it’s up to me with how I deal with them. I’m starting to see that now...

I remember this bench, I realize as I brush the snow free from it. I remember trying to calm down after being teleported out from underneath the cabinet in Lyra’s bathroom, the morning after the party. No magic, huge migraine, and an unstable mind. If not for the events of that awful day, maybe I’d have done better... stayed stable.

Shrugging my pack off, I lie on the bench, looking out over the field. It’s so peaceful here. Even though there’s nopony around, I can imagine ponies playing in this field so well that I can practically see them in my mind’s eye, plain as day. That day is burned into my memory.

As I stare out across the park, at the edge of the Everfree, there’s just one thing I don’t get. The forest gives off such a sense of wrongness that there are times when even I am uneasy taking a patrol along the border. Most foals I’ve seen have more sense than to go near the place, so why did Pound Cake run blindly in there?

Even if somepony beckoned him, it doesn’t make sense...

“Little filly, why are you so alone?” a voice melodic, sibilant voice calls out. “Have you been separated from your mommy?”

There, at the edge of the treeline is a mare... Mossy green mane, yellow green coat... Just standing in the bushes, watching me. Her eyes, like two yellow lamps, are drawing me in. It’s a gaze I could lose myself in.

“Come with me... we can find your mommy together.”

“Finding Mommy sounds good,” I say softly, rising from the bench. “Will you really help me find my momma?”