Hey, Grumpy. Catch Me.

by GravityDefyingCoffeeMug

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Pharynx, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Bon-Bon
Length: 1492

Before she goes on a mission with Pharynx, Sweetie Drops (or Bon Bon) has to know if she can trust him. Hence, her test.

Before she goes on a mission with Pharynx, Sweetie Drops (or Bon Bon) has to know if she can trust him. Hence, her test.

THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE STORY.

I refer to 'Bon-Bon' as 'Sweetie Drops' in this story because it felt right. Instead of 'Bon-Bon', the pony who works in Sweetie Drops Candies selling candies, she's 'Sweetie Drops', the special agent who works for the "super-secret anti-monster agency" as she refers it in Slice of Life.

Cover art by some guy called FanaticPanda on DeviantArt.

Published 2018-08-07 15:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-07 15:50:01 UTC

Hey, Grumpy. Catch Me.

They had been at it for over two hours with no results.

She had been nearly there on a number of occasions but never went all the way. He, on the other hand, is characteristically running out of patience.

“This is ridiculous.”

“No, it’s not! This is important! I have to know that I’ll be able to trust you before I can go in the field with you. Now, stand right there and get ready…”

“Aren’t you ponies drilled with the concept of trust, especially when you have Little Miss Friendship as your princess? I think we, as representatives of our parties who share a common enemy, should have moved beyond that.”

The young mare balancing on the all too narrow tree branch high above sneered down at the changeling on normal ground. “And here I thought your brother was the naïve one of the two.” She held her hooves on her hips as she leaned forwards, then gesture with one hoof to the environs. “Hello, Pharynx. Welcome to Equestria, where over a year ago, Tempest Shadow, a creature of the same species you were talking about being trustworthy, singlehandedly captured three of Equestria's princesses in mere minutes and turned them into statues, a crime I'd say is punishable by death. That pony is so dangerous that she's labeled a monster by S.M.I.L.E. You still think ponies are trustworthy? Well, guess what? Princess Twilight Sparkle publicly pardoned that hornless unicorn. I could've crossed a name off my hit list, but I had to erase it instead, and that's like the least coolest way of removing a name off your hit list."

Sometimes, there was nothing Pharynx wouldn't do to never be acquainted with such a pony...

His jaw clenched in frustration. "Whatever," he said after forcing himself to calm down. "You don't have to do this, you know."

"I told you, I need to know if I can trust you."

"You can trust me." If she didn't come to know him better during the past few months, she would have thought that his monotone and unfelt voice belied his statement.

Yet she hesitated.

He didn't even need to look to know what was going on up there. Changelings can taste emotions and he certainly tasted the sudden fear that had swelled in her gut that forced her to focus on maintaining her steady balance. She couldn't do this.

After some time, Sweetie Drops spoke up in an apologetic tone: "Perhaps you should request a different S.M.I.L.E. agent for the mission." She hugged the tree branch she's on much tighter and didn't look surprised to see the violet eyes of the Head of Changeling Kingdom narrowed in a glare towards her.

"I really doubt your boss would give the squad a new agent just because you can't drop down from a tree."

"It's not that I can't drop down from this tree, Pharynx. I know I can," the young mare uttered. "It's that I can't drop down from this tree into your hooves."

Pharynx's dark eyebrows furrowed. "Why in Tartarus not?" He shook his head clear of impending thoughts and went with the one that he was sure was the end of it all. "You're just afraid of getting hurt from the fall."

Of course, Sweetie Drops was stubborn. "Not true. I've done this countless times, with many ponies, too. Lyra, Vinyl, Octavia, Dr. Whooves... Heck, I've even done this with Derpy. And I... I never once hesitated with them like I've been hesitating with you today."

"So because you're hesitating, you take that as a warning that I won't catch you?"

Sweetie Drops nodded.

The noble blood coursing through Pharynx's veins grew hot and he didn't know why. All he knew was that he'd had his tolerable limit of frustrations for one day. "This is a waste of time. I'm leaving."

Pharynx turned to depart, not caring whether or not Sweetie Drops came down from the tree.

"If this test was such a waste of your precious time, Grumpy, why did you agree to it in the first place?"

Her words caused him to promptly stop in his tracks and whirl about to regard her, ready to give her an edgy-brand harangue she'd never forget. But when Pharynx opened his mouth to retort, nothing came out.

She had a point. A very good point. There was no written law that stated he had to come to the forest entry, nor was he required to participate in this test of trust she had set up for him. He could have easily just flown up and save her like saving an old mare's cat... or just walk away, yet he stayed there for nearly two hours with his hooves open, waiting for her to fall into them when she was ready.

Why?

Why did he agree to it? To shut her up? Yes, but only partly because she would have easily found something else to nag his ear off about. And here he thought that Dragon Lord friend of Thorax's had nagged a lot when she visited his kingdom. That dragon was nothing in comparison to this pink and blue maned bombshell.

And that was when he realised it.

Nagging.

Of-freakin'-course.

The past year had been a tumultuous time for Pharynx, with a new life-altering experience just about every month it seemed. Sending Ocellus to school in a foreign place, Chrysalis' recent attacks on Princess Twilight's domain, his voluntary cooperation fending off the rogue changelings, his unit being ambushed, his injury, his time in the hospital, his wounded pride as the strongest fighter of the Changeling Kingdom, the upcoming mission to infiltrate Chrysalis' new hive...

Sweetie Drops' nagging and occasional poorly-timed sarcasm and blunt behaviour had been the only constant in his life for the past few months. Now that he had gotten used to it as one of her quirks, he couldn't imagine spending a few weeks in another land without having her there to complain about how he needed to smile more and smirk less, or how he needed to transform into cooler looking monsters more often. It'd be too weird otherwise.

"Because, pony..." he sighed, exasperated. "You'd never let me hear the end of it."

Sweetie Drops' grin practically reached her ears. "A~nd" she pressed on.

Damn you. "...I don't want a different S.M.I.L.E. agent on my squad."

"Why?"

He sighed. "Because I trust you..."

"Hm. Well, I did see you in your weakest nearly every day for that month you were in the hospital and I didn't try anything, so I can see why you trust me." Sweetie Drops mused at his slightly reddened face. She was practically leering at him now. "And what else?"

Pharynx wanted to scowl at her but only managed a sneer; it wasn't as if he was mad at her or anything. He couldn't be, no matter how hard he tried. "How old are you again, agent?" He smirked.

"Twenty-two."

"Really? Could've fooled me. I was guessing not a day over 12, you damn filly."

"Very funny, Pharynx!" she chucked an acorn at him which he dodged casually by tilting his head to the side. "And screw you, I know what you're going to say, so just save us both the time and come out and say it."

"Why? You already know what I'm going to say."

"It doesn't matter why. Just say it! If you don't say it, I'm not coming down from this tree."

Knowing that Sweetie Drops, if pushed, had a will that matched his, believe it or not, Pharynx conceded: "...I want you to trust me implicitly. Like how I trust you."

Sweetie Drops flashed him a grin and a wink. "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Just shut up and get down from there."

"Aye, aye, Captain!"

Satisfied with the answer she got, Sweetie Drops aimed herself at Pharynx in preparation to finally hop down from the tree. She misjudged her take-off step, however, and promptly lost her balance. If Pharynx hadn't seen the helpless flail of her hooves, he wouldn't have noticed a thing.

Out of alarm, his transformation magic activated and for a brief moment, swirls of green coloured energy bursted as the changeling that stood below the rapidly plummeting mare transformed into a pillow, just in the nick of time.

Transforming back, he shook her gently. "Hey! Can you hear me? I bet you've been through worse... Answer me!"

Pharynx cupped her muzzle with his hooves and lifted it so that he could take a better look at her face. Imagine his surprise when the lips of that same face broke out into a wide grin. Suddenly, a pair of the brightest arctic blue eyes he had ever seen were peering up at him in sheer amusement and joy.

"Congratulations, Grumpy. You have passed my test."

END

Author's Note

Give Pharynx some credit, he stayed professional the whole time.