Barely Eagle

You stood leaning against the door, watching TV. Your friend Gilda had said she’d be over in about 20 minutes. 20 minutes Gilda-time was about 2 hours, so you had 2 hours to do absolutely whatever you wanted before-

*CRASH*

The door swings open into your back and sends you flying forwards across the floor. “Owww.”

“’Sup dude,” says Gilda before stepping over you and proceeding to raid your fridge and take all your favourite food, as usual (you aren’t sure whether she does that on purpose or if you just have the same taste in food).

“You could have knocked, you know? That’s why you knock on doors. So stuff like this doesn’t happen. So I don’t go flying across the room and almost break my nose,” you say.

“Whatever,” she says as she sits on your sofa. She does, of course, lay back on the sofa so that she takes up all the space.

“Cool, now I don’t have anywhere to sit. Thanks,” you mutter angrily.

“You’re welcome,” she says, almost completely ignoring you and preferring instead to gaze at the TV.

You sit down on the floor moodily and begin watching the random movie on TV. You’re really getting into it. The characters are so believable, the plot is so gripping and you can’t wait to see what happens nex-

After a buzz of static, the channel changes. You turn around in horror to see Gilda holding the remote, changing the channel at random.

“Augh! What the hell?! That movie was awesome!” you scream.

“It sucked. I’m finding something worthwhile to watch,” she informs you.

“The movie was FANTASTIC. You can’t appreciate it because you’re a plebian philistine etcetera who hates good movies, I GUESS.”

“Yeah,” she says, not even looking at you while continuing to flick through channels. You’re not even sure she was listening to you. She eventually settles on a channel showing a cartoon about a yellow sea sponge and his starfish friend. You can feel your mind numbing from looking at it, yet you cannot tear yourself away.

“Oh, nice. I guess we’ll watch cartoons all day like a pair of 5 year olds,” you remark.

“Better than whatever you had planned,” Gilda mutters. You hate to admit it, but she had you there.

You stare at the cartoon on your TV for a while. You aren’t paying much attention as your mind is filled with elaborate revenge schemes against Gilda for stealing your favourite food and taking up your whole sofa.

"This is getting pretty lame, dude." You had almost fallen asleep when Gilda's voice woke you up suddenly.

"There's nothing to do," she says.

"Let's, uhh..." you begin, before scanning your room for something to do. You lay your eyes upon your videogame shelf. "Play a 2 player game?"

10 minutes later and your 2 player game of Mare Kart 64 was well underway. Gilda had, of course, chosen to play as the Stephen Magnet racer, despite your insistence that you get to play as Stephen Magnet. After a brief argument, you resigned to playing as the vastly inferior Mare-Do-Well racer.

"HOW DID THE BLUE SHELL HIT ME?!" you scream. "I'm not even in 1st place! I'm in 4th place! This game sucks! It hates me!"

You hurl your controller across the room in rage. As you get up to pick it up, Gilda lunges forward and snatches it.

"Ugh. Give me my controller back," you say.

"Come and get it," Gilda says with an evil smirk.

You sigh. You were never gonna be able to defeat Gilda at anything (she’s a griffon! They’re huge! And part lion!). Still, you make a heroic attempt to lunge forward and grab the controller from her claws…

…which causes you to fall face first and plant your mouth onto her beak, effectively kissing her.

uhhhh what

You move your eyes up to see Gilda staring back at you with an equally shocked expression. You finally find the ability to pull yourself up off Gilda. You sit back down on the floor.

“Uhhh…” you hope she can start the conversation instead.

“Uhh….” Apparently not.

You try to think of something to say, anything to say, that will remove the hideous, suffocating awkwardness that seems to have taken over the room. You and Gilda just stare at each other, not saying anything for a while.

“Um,” she mutters, drawing you out of your trance.

“…yeah?” you ask.

“Wanna do that again?” she asks.

…Well, you didn’t see any reason not to.

You climb back up onto the sofa with Gilda and lay on top of her. You only just notice now how soft her feathers are, like a pillow. You turn your head sideways and lock your mouth with her beak. Considering how anatomically different your two species are, the kiss was surprisingly easy and felt completely natural.

When the kiss is finally broken, Gilda smiles at you and kneels down on the floor.

You pretty quickly catch on to what she’s trying to do. You stand on your hind legs and let her take your erect cock into her mouth as she places her talons on your hips.

You feel her tongue against your cock. Oh yeah, that’s ni-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

You look down to see the razor-sharp tips of her beak cutting into the soft flesh of your penis, both the top and underside. You begin frantically screaming and jerk backwards, which not only extends the deep gash on both sides of your penis but also causes your hips to dig in to Gilda’s talons, which go pretty deep into your flesh.

She immediately lets go of you, leaving you to roll around screaming in the growing pool of blood surrounding you on the floor.

"HELP! OH GOD, CALL THE HOSPITAL!" you screech.

"Oh... uh, okay, uh..." Gilda says, staring in horror at your shredded genitals.

"Listen... I'm actually really scared of blood.... I feel really sick..." she says.

"I DON'T CARE! CALL THE AMBULANCE!" you yell once more.

Gilda stares at the pool of blood surrounding you on the floor for a moment longer before proceeding to vomit all over you and pass out on top of you.

Ignoring the agonizing pain for a moment, you attempt to lift Gilda off you. Nope, she's too heavy. Yep, you were stuck. Yep, you were gonna bleed to death.

"At least things can't get any worse," you muse, tempting fate.

There's a knock at the door. Did you remember lock the door?

*CLICK*

No, of course you didn't.

Whoever just opened the door speaks up. "Hey, It's me, Dr. Happyshine, your therapist! I'm here to tell you that we think you've made some WONDERFUL progress and you're fit to stop your thera-"

He walks into the room and suddenly freezes at the sight of Gilda lying on top of you, blood surrounding you, and you desparately trying to escape.

"Actually, maybe we should extend the therapy a little bit..."