Twilight's Dilemma

“What do you mean, you don’t have any?!“

“I’m terribly sorry, Miss Twilight, but we simply don’t have any… equine anatomical dioramas, or whatever you call them…” The shopkeeper informed an irate Twilight Sparkle.

“But this is Knick Knack’s Uncanny Curios and Collectibles! Surely you’d have something as bizarre as a pony skeleton and organ replica! Could you at least check?!” Twilight pleaded in desperation.

“I’ve told you already, I know for a fact that I’ve got nothing of the sort in my shop! Now please leave or I’ll be forced to call the cops on you!”

Twilight heaved a sigh of disappointment. “Thanks for your time, I guess…” She muttered as she left the building.
It was a chilly Friday afternoon in late October, the kind of day which would bring anypony’s mood down. The sky was overcast and dismally gray, and a few dead leaves swirled about the unicorn’s hooves as she hurried home. Upon arriving, she found her baby dragon assistant sound asleep on the coffee table, his pegasus-feather duster still in hand.

“Spike! Mr. Knick Knack didn’t have one, either! Oh, this is getting absolutely ridiculous,” The wisteria unicorn fumed, snapping her fatigued helper out of his slumber.

“C’mon, Twilight, can’t you let me have just a little more sleep? You’ve worked me practically to the bone for this project, and I don’t know how much more I can ta”—

He was abruptly cut off when he found himself face-to-face with t, her horn crackling and just inches from his head.
“Get. Back. To. WORK!”

“Okay, okay, I’m going! Sheesh, you don’t have to be so pushy…”

That’s quite the temper, even for Twilight! I wonder what’s gotten into her…

Noticing that Spike was quite fazed by her uncharacteristic outburst, Twilight shook her head vigorously and attempted to explain herself.

“Gee, I’m sorry Spike… It’s just that this task is a direct order from the Princess: Celestia is counting on me to complete this research project on Changeling behavior in to prepare for the impending invasion. Everypony in Equestria is depending on me right now, and I going to let them down just because I don’t have a bucking reference for pony anatomy!”

Spike ignored his roommate’s vulgar language, brushing the sleep from his eyes and continuing to dust the equine bust on the coffee table’s center. “Couldn’t you just try and borrow…something… from the Ponyville morgue?”

“I would… but not after that whole “séance” fiasco last month. They told me that if I ever showed my face around there again, it’d be my one-way ticket to the Ponyville Hospital psychiatric ward…”

Spike shuddered as he remembered the gruesome debacle in the refrigeration room. “Well, what about the Ponyville Schoolhouse? I’m sure they would have some sort of pony skeleton diorama or something.”

Twilight perked up at the idea. “That’s brilliant, Spike! Except… wouldn’t it be weird to just walk up to Cheerilee and ask: ‘hey, I was wondering if I could borrow a pony anatomy diorama from you.’ I would tell her what it was for, but I just can’t risk jeopardizing the project.”

Spike shrugged and returned to his housework. “Can’t help you there, sister…”

The studious mare’s ears drooped as she began to go into panic mode. Oh Sweet Celestia, what am I going to do? I’m running out of time, and if I don’t complete this research for the princess, I’m going to be responsible for the demise of all ponykind! Oh, this is bad! So very very b—wait! That’s it! The answer to everything! Twilight Sparkle, you truly are a genius!
That Evening, at the Ponyville Hospital infirmary

“Thank you so much for coming by, Twilight! You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Twilight put on her best heartfelt smile and replied, “Oh, it’s no trouble at all, Cheerilee. I’m just glad to be here for a friend in need. Once I heard from Pinkie that you were in the ER, I came over as quick as I could.”

One of Twilight’s less prideful characteristics was her uncanny ability to spin a flawless, believable lie in no time flat. Applejack would be ashamed of her in her present situation. But the naïve schoolteacher was buying every word of it.

“I sincerely appreciate the gesture. This all happened so fast; Dr. Stable thinks it may be an exceptionally bad bout of food poisoning. I thought that seasoned hay lasagna tasted especially bitter this evening…”

Twilight tried her very hardest to act natural, magically cinching her saddlebag extra tightly to conceal the vial of wormwood extract inside. “Yeah, that is really unusual, huh?”

“One thing’s for certain, though: the nurse told me I won’t be back on my feet until about next Tuesday, when they find out what’s really causing this. And that means school won’t be in session at all for Monday; I simply couldn’t find a substitute on such short notice…”

The plan was working perfectly. “Cheerilee, what if I were to be the class’s substitute teacher for Monday? I would simply hate to see those poor little fillies and colts deprived of a proper education.”

Cheerilee looked up at her in awe; this had caught her completely by surprise. “Really? You’d do that? They’re quite the handful, you know… do you even have a teaching degree?”

The unicorn mare casually batted a hoof. “I’m the Princess’s personal student ambassador. Believe me, nothing could go wrong.”

“That’s great, then! You’ll find the schoolhouse’s spare key in the discolored floorboard under the welcome mat! And you’re sure you’re serious about this?

Twilight smiled reassuringly. “Oh, I’m dead serious about this. Don’t you worry one bit.”

Later that Night

“WHERE THE BUCK COULD ONE BE?!”

Twilight had practically torn the schoolhouse’s interior apart in her frenzied search. Books and papers lay peppered across the floor, on various toppled desks, and poking out of violently wrenched-open cabinets. But still, no sign of any diorama.

Way to go, Twilight. First you go and poison your friend. And then you go and promise to spend your final workday teaching a classroom full of foolish fillies and colts! Equestria’s really in for it now, and who does everypony have to blame? That’s right, yours truly!

I can’t believe we’re going to all fall subject to the Changeling race just because I can’t find a damn diorama! I mean, in a town full of ponies, how is it that no one has a simple, bucking d—

Her mental ramble was cut short, as a dreadful realization slinked into her mind.

Wait, this town is full of living, breathing, organ-filled ponies! And that means…

*POP!*

Maybe it was the disturbingly spooky atmosphere of the trashed classroom. Or the sheer oppressiveness of the pressure put upon her by the princess. Or perhaps just a latent condition of psychosis in the unicorn’s mind.

But regardless of cause, something snapped within Twilight at that moment.

Her pupils shrank to pinpoints, and one ear began to twitch uncontrollably as a devious smile began to creep across her face.

“The solution!”

Sparing no time, the mare returned the room to its previously tidy state, and went to work.