The Adventures of Cliff Hanger

by Kir B

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1087

Cliff Hanger has another opportunity to escape the cliff.

Our hero, Cliff Hanger, has been hanging from a cliff for who knows how long! As he grasps onto a solitary root to save him from certain doom, help arrives in the form of a small pink pony.

Are Cliff's days of hanging from the cliff over at long last?

So I was just going about my day, when I just spontaneously thought back to my childhood TV shows that I watched religiously. Among these was "Between the Lions" a show that taught kids how to read and encouraged them to read as well. While I don't remember too much of it's content, one of the segments of the show, "The Adventures of Cliff Hanger" had always stood out to me. Why it did, I'll probably never know fully; but as a quick YouTube search showed me, most people seem to have fond memories of Cliff Hanger.

For those who don't know, the entire setup was that: Cliff Hanger desires to escape the cliff that he's found himself hanging from the side of. As he dangles over the abyss, he either notices something above or below him or an event happens to change his environment. After consulting his Survival Manual he makes an attempt to escape using his surroundings to his advantage, only for his plan to backfire in some manner, returning him to his original position on the cliff.

So I was remembering how much I loved it as a child when I thought, "I wonder how ponies would react to Cliff Hanger's predicament."

And thus this story was born.

I hope you all enjoy. ;)

- Kir B

Published 2018-08-10 14:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-10 14:30:01 UTC

Episode E - Cliff Hanger and the Pony

♪ Cliff Hanger - Hanging from a cliiiiiiiiiffff! ♪

♪ And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger! ♪

"Excuse me? Excuse me!!" Despite his best efforts, Cliff's pleas fell on deaf ears as the helicopter flew away into the distance, carrying those strange singers away from his position. Cliff snapped his fingers in frustration. A look downwards provided the man with a much unneeded reminder of his current predicament.

Cliff was currently hanging off the side of a cliff, and it wasn't a small drop either! How he had ended up in this situation, not even he could remember at this point. However he did know that he had to keep himself suspended on the side of the cliff-face at all costs until he could find a way to climb down safely.

A sudden shift downwards brought Cliff's attention up towards his hand, where a root embedded into the cliff was firmly within his grasp. This root was the only thing keeping him from falling to his doom, and by the looks of it now, it seemed it would give at any moment!

"Can't...hold...on...much...LONGER!!!!" Cliff shouted, his voice echoing around him. The man hoped beyond hope that someone, anyone, would hear his cries and come to his rescue.

Suddenly there was a strange and unfamiliar buzzing. Cliff looked around to find the source of the noise. It didn't take long for him to spot the disturbance; a small pink pony was rising into the air by spinning it's tail!

Immediately Cliff flailed his free arm in his backpack, before he felt a familiar shape within. Grasping the object, he pulled it out to reveal his trusty Survival Manual. Just what he needed in situations like this! Despite his waning strength, Cliff condensed his form, pulling a knee upwards to prop the book upon.

Cliff soon began using his expert decoding skills, flipping through the manual with his free hand. He quickly found the page he was looking for and he began to read.

"If you see a pony flying high in the sky, ask for a lift before it passes you by!" he read.

He returned the book to his backpack before looking back towards the pony. He noticed that the pony had climbed higher into the sky and was almost out of earshot. This could be his only chance of rescue, he couldn't mess this up! Cliff turned in the direction of the ascending pony and took a deep breath.

"Excuse me!" he roared. The pony seemed to tense up from the sound of his voice, and spun around in his direction. Seeing its confusion ignited Cliff's hope into a raging inferno. "Excuse me!!" he shouted once more.

The pony looked downwards and spotted the dangling man. Immediately it flew over towards him.

"Ooooh, I've never seen anything like you before, and I've seen alot of things! My name is Pinkie Pie!" the pony called out. Cliff smiled.

"Excuse me Miss Pinkie Pie," Cliff called, "but could you give me a lift?" The pony seemed to grow incredibly excited, her grin stretching across her face.

"Indeed I can!" Pinkie called back. Excitement flooded Cliff's body. At last he was going to escape the clutches of the cliff! He was saved! The pink pony flew in towards him, reached into her poofy pink mane, and!-- produced a box? Before Cliff could question this odd development, the pony had placed the decorated box into the palm of his free hand.

"There you go Mr. Strange creature!" said Pinkie, hovering away from him a bit, "One super, awesome, incredibly amazing, gift!" Cliff's confusion was quickly replaced by worry. She had misheard him!

"N-no Miss Pinkie!" he called out. "I didn't ask for a gift, I asked for a lift!" Pinkie seemed confused for a moment, before a look of comprehension crossed her face, and she flew closer to Cliff once more. Cliff was relieved. That had been a little too close!

But instead of giving him the rescue he so desperately needed, Pinkie Pie once again reached into her mane and pulled something out.

Small stars?

She began flinging the stars towards the man. She was a decent distance away, but despite this she never missed her target. Cliff was deeply confused. While her actions didn't hurt him, they weren't exactly a rescue operation either. Eventually Pinkie ran out of stars to throw, and thus ceased her flinging spree.

"There you go! One swift!" Pinkie called back to him. "I didn't want to hurt you though, so I had to think of a decent compromise. I think I did pretty good using stickers!"

"W-wha?" Cliff muttered, completely and utterly confounded. That didn't even make sense! The man shook himself out of his stupor, and made to ask the pink pony for help again, but she was nowhere to be found. She had been right in front of him, where did she go? Cliff looked from side to side, and even below himself, but he just couldn't spot the pony.

Then he heard a giggle. Cliff turned his attention upwards. Pinkie had landed on top of the cliff, and was looking down at him.

"Sorry that I misheard you the first time Mr. Strange creature." Pinkie apologized. "My tail gets pretty loud when I do that. You can keep the gift though!" Pinkie looked out towards the horizon and gasped. "Oh no, it's getting late! I promised Gummy that I'd give him a bubble bath before the day was over with!" The pink pony turned her attention back towards Cliff. "I'm sorry Mr. Strange Creature, but I have to go!" She made to run off, but turned back. "I hope we meet again some day, you seem really fun!"

With that, Pinkie Pie disappeared from Cliff's view, leaving him rather miffed.

Cliff turned his attention to the gift Pinkie had given him. Curious, he quickly opened the box. Inside he found a small cupcake. The man was surprised, but it quickly turned to happiness. He had something to eat after hanging from the cliff for who knows how long! He ate the treat with gusto, finding that it was incredibly delicious. Once he was done, he dropped the wrapper and gift-box; watching as they floated floated away on a breeze.

Suddenly he lurched downwards again, quickly reminded of his situation once more.

"Can't...hold...on...much...LONGER!!" Cliff wailed, as the sun set in the distance.

♪ And that's why he's called Cliff Hanger! ♪