Rarity's Facebook

by frenettek314

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity, Spike
Length: 1425

Rarity creates a Facebook account to stay connected. Chaos ensues.

What happens when Ponyville's favorite fashionista creates a Facebook account?

Late night messages, memes, online drama, and so much more!

Published 2018-08-10 19:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-10 19:00:01 UTC

The world at her hoof- tips

Ah, Ponyville. Such a calm and relaxing little village (aside from the occasional monster attack but ponies preferred to avoid that subject..), it was always such a serene and whimsical atmosphere.

Little did anypony know that chaos would shortly arrive at the town's doorsteps, and it would all happen with one little phone.

It all begins at the well-renowned Carousel Boutique.

Rarity was admired throughout Ponyville as a unicorn of both prestige and intelligence. Not anypony could start a fashion empire and the lavender maned pony in question met that challenge head-on. She was always willing to help others and would settle than nothing less for her friends. Truly Rarity was a shining gem of a pony no matter where she was.

However, despite her wisdom, she was never really able to keep up with the rapidly evolving digital trend. Technology just moved at a faster pace than even she was able to manage. So to discover Facebook was a groundbreaking event for her.

Spike, the lovable dragon he was, was currently busy devoting all he could to help out the unicorn with any mundane task she would throw his way. Trying on outfits, finding elusive sewing needles, Spike proved he could handle it all.....

Which is why he desperately needed a break.

Spike quickly drew out his cellphone upon finding no other tasks to do and soon found himself amused scrolling through Facebook. His muttered chuckles were clearly heard by the boutique's owner as she found herself pausing from her sewing to find the source of the dragon's satisfied laughter.

"Spike, why are you on your cell-phone like that? Are you admiring your reflection AGAIN?!" she questioned.

"N---no" Spike sputtered, "I never do that" he quickly shot up in defense with a blush on his scales.

"Of course, Spikey" Rarity rolled her eyes, mentally chuckling at the dragon's sly timidness.

Spike quickly recovered from the slight embarrassing scene and proceeded to claim, "I was just scrolling through Facebook"

However, Rarity's face contorted into confusion. "Facebook? They have books for faces now?" she boldly asked.

Spike could just stare in awkward silence as words failed him. Finally he replied, "no, that's not it, at all" Spike sputtered.

Rarity just blinked, waiting for a clear explanation. Spike finally realized the unicorn's insistence and explained, "it's where ponies and creatures from all over go online and post stories, videos, and talk to each other".

Rarity then displayed a brightened "ah-ha", clearly understanding the concept more-or-less.

"Why that's quite a marvelous idea, actually. You get to interact with others from your phone?" Rarity marveled.

"Yeah, exactly" Spike mentally sighed in relief, glad his explanation was successfully received the first time. "See, for example, here's a post Pinkie Pie made" :

Pinkie Pie :

"That feeling when your third cupcake batch tastes better than the second.." :)

"Oh, Pinkie Pie, always the chatterbox even online" Rarity grimaced.

Just then, Spike came up with what would eventually become a disaster to pony-kind.

"Rarity, you should get a Facebook" Spike suddenly exclaimed, much to Rarity's surprise.

"What would I do with a Facebook?" Rarity questioned, unsure of the idea.

"You could chat with your friends even if they're not there with you" Spike explained, "that way they'll always be with you".

Rarity beamed upon the realization, "never alone" she thought. That thought was good enough reasoning for her.

"Spike, I'm creating a Facebook account!"

"Alright, Spike, what's first" Rarity asked, eager to get started.

"First you create your profile, that helps other to get to know the type of pony you are" Spike carefully explained.

Rarity then began thinking, "I need something bold for my username, something that speaks volumes about me......"

Just then, Rarity had developed the perfect idea for her username. Something unique about her...

"Stitchy Pony 69"

Spike was visibly sweating, now becoming unsure about whether Rarity could handle the complexities of having a Facebook account.

"Ok.... " he cautioned, "now you need a profile picture".

Rarity 'knew' exactly what to do. She had the cutest picture of her tail from when she was doing a photoshoot for a friend. Clearly, strangers online would love to see a unicorn's curly tail and posterior.

Spike cringed internally, Stitchy Pony 69 posted a picture of her flank on Facebook, yet couldn't find the heart to ruin her fun, not when she was finally becoming interested in the wonders of online communities. "Maybe everything will go without a hitch" he thought, ......"maybe".....

Suddenly, Spike saw something that shook him to the core, something so terrifying, he began to sweat bullets.

"Rarity, why is your occupation, dream maker?!!?!"

"My dresses are the things of ponies' dreams" Rarity boldly proclaimed.

"Yeah, sure" Spike quickly replied, seriously starting to wonder if the unicorn was purposefully doing this as a prank; but Rarity isn't like Rainbow or Pinkie, she was serious and he was terrified.

The minute Stitchy Pony 69's profile went live, all the sudden a notification popped up. It seems like a friendship request had arrived.

"Ooooh, look Spike!" Rarity squealed in glee, "Applejack already sent me a friend request!"

"Yeah, figures AJ wants to hit that" Spike bitterly muttered, unbeknownst to the unicorn, who happily tapped accept.

Within half an hour, Rarity already had all her real life friends as Facebook friends and even some friendly strangers who Spike cautiously thought had "nefarious incentives". Suddenly, however, Spike snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the relationship status.

"Rarity!!! Why does it say that you and Twilight are in a relationship?!?!"

"But we are", the unicorn rationally explained, "a friendship!".

Spike was about to explain to Rarity the actual meaning of the relationship status, but found himself at a loss for words. "How could this intelligent unicorn be doing this terrible at Facebook?" he thought.

Suddenly, like clockwork, another Facebook occurrence snapped Spike out of his thoughts.

"Rarity, did you just post something?" Spike dared to ask, preparing for impact.

"Oh yes, Spikey. Look at its majesty" Rarity bragged, waiting for Spike's approval :

Stitchy Pony 69 :

"Love me for myself or hate me. Haters gonna hate"

Spike cringed, he cringed as hard as he could, but that couldn't stop him from pitying the poor unicorn and her blissfully unaware spirit. Spike clicked the thumb icon.

"Awww, Spike. Thanks for liking" Rarity cooed.

Spike sighed. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

Later that evening:

Spike had left the boutique after realizing that Rarity was just going to explore Facebook all on her own for the rest of the day. He didn't care as long as she was safe and having fun. Spike just really needed to lie down and munch on a few gemstones back at the Castle of Friendship.

Suddenly, as Spike was scrolling through his phone, chewing on an emerald, he saw that he had been tagged in a status.

Stitchy Pony 69 :

@Spike is woke. He's been up for whatevs since this morning."

Spike face- palmed himself and threw his phone next to him to avoid the humiliating status. If it weren't for the post itself, the next part bothered him the most:

"Twilight Sparkle liked this post".

"Twilight!" Spike moaned, "Why did you like Rarity's post?!" as his scales turned into a bright pink hue.

"It's cute" he could hear Twilight reply from across the hall , causing the dragon to blush even more.

Suddenly, Spike's phone gave a quick buzz, causing him to sit up to retrieve his phone out of curiousity. He had received a private message :

Applejack :

"Hey Spike, any reason why Twilight is Rarity's current relationship status?"

Spike :

"Don't even ask. Also, I call dibs."

Spike knew Applejack wouldn't reply after his message so he went back to his bowl of gemstones, when he had received another message. :

Fluttershy :

"Um, Spike? Why is Rarity calling me her side-piece at the spa?"

What had Spike done? Maybe not everypony was suited for Facebook.

Spike then decided to post a quick meme of a pony head down underneath his hooves as crying sounds were heard with the quick caption :

"When you see others on Facebook" .

"Stitchy Pony 69 liked your post".

"Beggars can't be choosers", he thought.

Author's Note

:) I really have nothing else to say. Writing for Rarity is weird for me to write due to what situations she could be in, but I think this turned out really good. This was just "LOL" all throughout.

Sincerely,

frenettek314