Pinkie "Shipper" Pie

by James Pwyll

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy, Random, Main 7 (EqG), Slice of Life
Length: 1525

Pinkie's friends realise, perhaps for the first time, just how avid a shipper she really is

Pinkie is a shipper. That is something nobody can deny. But, when her friends stop and finally have a talk with her about it, they come to realise, for the first time, just how much she loves it.

Published 2018-10-06 09:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-06 09:10:01 UTC

Pinkie "Shipper" Pie

"Hi! Any trouble getting here?"

"No, Pinkie. We had to stop off over at AJ's place to pick up her bass, but that was about it," Rainbow replied.

Pinkie's smile was wide as she stood aside, allowing Rainbow and the rest of the girls into the Canterlot High music room. Sure enough, Applejack was indeed bringing her bass in with her, which she happily patted as she entered. The other instruments were already in here, and the Rainbooms soon got to work on prepping themselves for another practise session. However, before they could get the chance to start, Pinkie's back pocket started to beep.

"Whoppsie! Sorry, just gotta take this."

She reached back there and whipped out her phone, and as soon as she saw the message she'd received, she burst out into an even wider smile than before, which was no small feat.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Her squeal, while happy, was nevertheless ear-piercing, and many of her friends covered their ears for fear of going deaf from it.

"So, good news, I take it?" Rarity enquired.

Pinkie giggled, holding up her phone so her friends could all see.

"I'll say! Vinyl's taking Octavia out to lunch later! You know, like a date!"

The others all smiled to that.

"Really? Huh, I was wondering how long that would take for them," Twilight remarked.

"Eyup! Certainly took em long enough!" Applejack added.

"I hope they have fun," Fluttershy pondered to herself.

Pinkie, of course, just kept on squealing happily, to the point of bouncing in place. Sunset, while amused by this, still rolled her eyes, walking over and taking great effort to hold Pinkie still.

"Pinkie, I realise this is a sweet moment, but there's no need to go overboard with it!"

But Pinkie seemed almost insulted by that suggestion, as shown by her loud gasp.

"But this is a great thing, Sunset! After all those times I hinted to the two of them that they should maybe ask each other out, it's finally happening!"

That caught Sunset by surprise.

"Wait, you caused them to want to date?"

Pinkie snorted.

"What? No! They were into each other way before I ever came along! I just, you know, gave them a few words of encouragement here and there, and boom, Octascratch is now a thing! Though I'd also accept Vinyltavia."

Rarity smiled to her friend's enthusiasm.

"Pinkie, I appreciate a good romance as much as anyone, but are you sure it's wise to entangle yourself in the relationships of others?"

Hearing that, Pinkie placed her hands upon her hips, looking to Rarity with an arched eyebrow.

"There is nothing more sweet than seeing two friends become something more. And knowing I had a hand in it? Oh yeah, I'm loving that!"

Sunset, who was still standing nearby, looked to her friend with no small amount of curiosity.

"Pinkie, I'm almost afraid to ask this, but exactly how many people have you caused to hook up?"

Pinkie clasped her hands together, returning to her smile while trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Weeeeeeeeell, let's just say there's maybe a good reason why there have been a few more dates here and there lately."

Sunset sighed, walking over to where her guitar had been placed.

"Yeah, thought as much."

Rainbow smirked at her romance-obsessed friend for a time.

"Yeah, I can see having some fun with this sort of thing, as long as you don't go too far with it, okay?"

Pinkie coughed, in an oh-so deliberate way.

"Define too far."

Rainbow shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, I guess it would be like trying to make some over-complicated file or book over ships and connections and plans to hook people up and..."

She paused, gradually forming into a frown as she again looked to her friend.

"...you've already made one, haven't you?"

Pinkie giggled.

"You betcha!"

From behind her back, seemingly from out of nowhere, she produced some sort of file, with colour-coding and everything. And the thing was packed, looking like it contained pages in the hundreds. But as surprising and worrisome as this was for her friends, they stayed their hands for now, instead watching as Pinkie sat on a nearby chair and started flipping through the pages.

"Okay, so I've been trying to hook up Micro Chips with Sandalwood for a while now, and I think I'll have the chance to suggest it to them over at that big neighbourhood barbeque that's happening next week. Oh! And at the same time I'll probably be able to nudge Mr Cranky into maybe giving his wife an extra-special gift for their anniversary, because hey, why stop shipping just because they're already married, am I right?"

She went on and on and on like this for several minutes, describing various pairings, ways of getting them together, even going so far as to plan possible future weddings that were still years off. Now, on the one hand, her friends were actually rather impressed. Not only was she showing a great deal of passion over something that, frankly, was producing loving relationships but she'd actually done so in ways that were thought out and organized in a manner most wouldn't have expected from her. On the other hand though, there was the very real point that she was getting involved in other people's personal business, which was something Applejack, more than anyone, seemed willing to comment on.

"Um, Pinkie? Ah know y'all get all giddy an' stuff over this, but ya know, maybe they might not like havin' y'all be part of this?"

Pinkie, rather than seem upset or let down by that, as they'd expected, instead gave a wide smile and a firm nod.

"Oh, I know, which I why I was sure to collect consent forms from everyone in the school years ago, so that everyone knows that I would be doing this."

Naturally, words like that caused no small measure of silence for the rest of them, ending when Fluttershy gaped at her.

"Wait, you were serious when you did that? I thought that was just a joke!"

"Yeah! I thought you were just kidding!" Rainbow added.

"Pfft! No! Kidding about something like this would have just been silly!" Pinkie countered.

Sunset sighed.

"Whereas something like this is just perfectly normal!" she remarked sarcastically.

But Pinkie simply smiled to that.

"Thanks! I'm glad you get it, Sunny!"

In spite of everything, Sunset smiled, shaking her head slightly. Then, after a few seconds of silence, Twilight gained a look of realisation, looking to Pinkie with suspicion.

"Wait a minute...is that why you brought me over to help Flash with his homework that one time?"

Pinkie shrugged.

"Hey, boyfriend or no, it's always best to keep your options open, right?"

Twilight planted her hand onto her face after that, which led to Sunset looking to Pinkie with an arched eyebrow.

"Pinkie, out of curiosity, how many other times have you tried shipping us?"

Pinkie snickered, which was not something the other girls could feel anything other than nervous about. When Pinkie finally did speak, it was with a tone that suggested nothing short of fake innocence.

"Weeeeeeeeeeell, let's just say I'm very careful about my seating arrangements when we do our practice."

At first, none of the other girls really knew what she was talking about. But then, slowly, they looked down to where they were actually sitting. Pinkie, prior to their arrival, had set up everything for them for their practice, and only now did they realise that their instruments had been placed within specific pairings of chairs. Sets of two that were put slightly apart from the other sets of two. Fluttershy and Rainbow, Rarity and Applejack, and finally Sunset and Twilight. Seeing all of that, realisation come to them, and they turned to Pinkie with blushes and wide eyes.

"Wait! You've been shipping us this entire time?!" Rainbow blurted.

Pinkie, leaning back into her own chair, crossed one leg over the other and folded her arms, looking utterly triumphant.

"It's like they always say. If you think a trap might be happening..."

She gave them a wink.

"...it's already been sprung."

Though the others were of course a little disturbed by this, Twilight, by contrast, seemed to have a trick up her sleeve, and gave Sunset an encouraging pat on the shoulder before walking over to Pinkie.

"Say, Pinkie? How would you feel if we helped you get shipped?"

The others all gave each other knowing looks, knowing their friends was trying some kind of "try being on the other side" technique here. However, rather than whatever reaction she might have been expecting, Twilight was instead greeted by a loud gasp from Pinkie.

"Oh! Do you have someone in mind? Maybe that Cheese Sandwich guy? Because I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure he's given me a few looks here and there."

Pinkie paused, then smirked in a slightly sultry way to Twilight.

"Unless you're offering, wink-wink?"

Twilight gulped, looking back to her other friends.

"I, erm, I think this plan of mine might have backfired."

Rainbow slapped her own forehead.

"Ya think?!"