Twilight Arsonist

by 20percentcooler

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Random
Length: 1062

Twilight likes fire.

When twilight wakes up one morning without a thing to do, she decides to do what anypony would do. Well....maybe not just anypony...

Published 2012-08-07 04:34:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-07 04:34:03 UTC

Blaze

Twilight Arsonist

Twilight slowly opened her eyes as the sound of birds combined with the sun shining through the window caused her to wake up from a long sleep.
"Ugh......" she groaned as she wiped her eyes and slowly rose out of bed. "What time is it?"
She glanced over the the large wooden clock on the wall and saw that it was 9AM. Abnormally late for the purple unicorn to wake up. But there wasn't much motivation for her to be awake anyways. She had nothing scheduled, nowhere she needed to be, and she had already finished her studies on cryptozoology. There was literally nothing to do.

"Hmmm..." She thought aloud. "I guess I could.....no I shouldn't....but it would be kind of fun.....oh well, why not."

Twilight ran downstairs and saw spike in the kitchen.
"Spike!" She called.
Spike almost fell over in surprise.
"Yikes! Oh hey Twilight, good morning. I was gonna make us something for breakfast."
"There's no time for that!" She yelled. "Spike! I need my special coffee!"
Spike paused a moment, then remembered what she was referring to. He went into the refrigerator and grabbed a can of the chilled coffee that Twilight rarely ever drank cause it was too strong and tended to make her make odd decisions. But if this is what Twilight wanted, then that was what she was going to have.

"Yes THAT!" Yelled Twilight as she levitated the can to her mouth. She quickly downed the entire can and tossed it away.
"You think that drinking the entire can was a good Idea?" Asked Spike with a look of uncertainty.
"Oh its perfect...." Said Twilight as she slowly started to see the world in a new way....

Twilight found herself ready to do what she wanted to do. "Ok lets do this!" she yelled. She ran to the fireplace and grabbed one of the burning logs. She ran outside and set her house on FIRE. "YES THIS IS IT!" she screamed. "BURN!"

Suddenly, she realized that she really didn't want to burn her house down. So she decided not to.

"Ugh, now that THAT'S over with. Now what? I have nothing to do today.

She thought for a moment, and decided to walk into town. Maybe she could go visit Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner.
She walked the short distance and soon found herself in front of the bright and uniquely crafted building.

"hmmmm"

"I SHOULD SET IT ON FIRE!"
Twilight grabbed some dry wood on the side of the road and used a spark from her horn to ignite a flame. She then lit Sugarcube Corner on fire and watched it burn down! "YES LOOK AT THE FIRE! LOOK AT THE AMAZING FIRE! HAHAHAHA!" She was in heaven as she saw the entire building burst into a huge flaming inferno.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Then, Twilight realized that she didn't want to set Sugarcube Corner on fire. So she didn't.
"Maybe I won't go see Pinkie today. I know! Ill go see Cheerilee! Maybe she needs help with the young ones at the school!"

Twilight trotted over to the schoolhouse and noticed that the entire building was made of wood.
"Hmmm.....wood....wood that I can....

"SET ON FIRE!" Twilight used a spark to light the grass surrounding the schoolyard and watched as it slowly grew to a huge inferno and engulfed the entire building. "YES! BURN! BURN YOU SILLY FOALS! BURN! HAHAHAHA TAKE THAT CHEERILEE! WHATS THE MATTER? CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT CAN YOU? HAHAHA!!!!!" The sounds of screaming fillies and colts filled the morning air. "I CAN HEAR THEM SCREAMING! OH NO I THINK IM GOING TO DIE! THATS MY LULLABY!"

But then, Twilight decided that she didn't want to set the schoolhouse on fire. She liked the way it looked after all. So she decided not to and continued on her way into the heart of downtown Ponyville.

She walked by some large buildings and then heard some voices around the corner, she peeked around and saw that the mayor was talking to some other ponies who were helping her install some sort of satellite dish to the top of city hall.
Twilight walked over to them.
"Hello Mayor! I see you're installing that satellite there. Is it to pick up television signals?"
"Oh hello Twilight! Yes actually. I decided that I should let the workers inside have something like this for their free time."

Twilight watched as the 3 pegasus ponies finished the installation and went on their way.

"Hmmm... I wonder...."

"IF I COULD SET THE NEW SATELLITE ON FIRE!" Twilight grabbed the mayor and pushed her onto the ground. "OUT OF MY WAY YOU BEACH BALL!" She grabbed some gasoline and tossed it as hard as she could up to the top of the building by the dish. She then used her magic to light it up. "BURN FILTHY SATELLITE DISH! BURN!-wait......Instead of lighting the dish on fire....WHY DONT I SET ALL OF CITY HALL ON FIRE AS WELL! YEAH!" Twilight drenched more gasoline around the building, and set it ablaze. "I LOVE MY LIFE! I LOVE MY BUCKING LIFE!"
"Twilight!" yelled the mayor. What in Equestria do you think you're doing?" "What am I doing?" Asked Twilight with a crazed look in her eye. "What am I doing? Ill tell you what I'm doing! IM SETTING YOU ON FIRE!" Twilight lit the mayor on fire.
"WHAT NOW MAYOR! HAHAHAHA! BLAZING GLORY! BLAZING GLORY FOR THE PONY! YESYESYESYESYES!"

Suddenly, Twilight realized that she really didn't want to set the dish, city hall, or the mayor on fire. So she didn't and went home. Maybe some rest was all she needed. She felt horrible.

When she got home. She found that her house had burned down, and Spike was nowhere to be seen.
"Oh no!" She screamed. "I thought I decided not to burn it down!"
She then turned around and looked in the direction of Ponyville, and saw that the entire city was a huge blazing inferno.
"I....did that....." Twilight said with eyes wide open. "I.....did that.....", she started shaking violently.
"I BUCKING DID THAT! HAHAHAHA I DID IT! OH YES! MY LIFE! MY LIFE! OH YES! HAHAHA!"

And then Twilight passed out and died. And she couldn't decide that she didn't want to die. Because you can't decide things when you are dead.

The end.