Chapter 3

'Damn that must've been some party an--- oh fuck i'm not dreaming' I open my eyes to see a white bunny sitting in front of me with a frown and his arms crossed together 'you wanna go bro?' I mentally had a back and forth conversation with myself as I made up his voice in my head asking him if he wanted to fight.

Anyways onto the next problem at hand;a yellow pony with a pink mane peeking their head through a door in the corner of the room 'oh hey got any coffee?' the ponies eyes widen for a bit until they finally pulled it open as it hit softly against the wall.

''Well you sure were out for a long time!'' she 'oh yeah its a girl' said with a smile to which I just groaned and got up and laid on my stomach 'oh really? nah' than she finally noticed I fell and quickly ran over to me and lifted me back up on the bed ''oh i'm so sorry are you alright?'' just nodding I look up and take another look at her 'alright;big eyes, check, ugly err- no' quickly noticing iv'e been staring too long I swiftly bonk myself in the head and look down.

Hearing a gasp as quick hoof steps exit the room as another door is heard opening and than more steps as the my yellow caretaker comes back with a red box in her mouth with a white cross marking it;dropping the box on the bed and opening it with one hoof she pulls out some 'rubbing alcohol?' and the other a cotton swab.

'This is too much...' deciding not to deal with his nonsense I gave myself a harder bonk and knocked myself out;alright let this dream be good.

Opening my eyes to see fire 'interesting' taking a good look around I witnessed a giant snake jumping out of the sky and swallowing the sun whole 'da' fuck?' taking a moment to boggle my mind I realized where I was 'earth' and oh my god 'the fire and desolate land' looking around again with wide eyes this time;am I in New York? the destroyed city 'yep..' sighing and sitting down on my newly acquainted horse butt 'its judgement day' yep its August 20th 2012 the day everyone thought the world would end.

Turns out its true as I look up to see a giant rock heading down on earth;as a breeze picked up a tattered piece of paper landed in my lap and I looked down to read it.

[Hey! if you're reading this, were sorry, were sorry for causing the end of the world and unleashing the giant snake that swallowed the sun....]

'Well that's really convenient' looking back up as the rock broke through the atmosphere it crashed into the earth and instantly woke me up;back on the bed I woke up on with some added sweat 'what the hell is with all this random bullshit?' shrugging as if some magical force went over my body further progressing this story 'oh am I finally breaking the fourth wall?' 'damnit'

Alright so now to explore this new world 'where the hell is everyone?' I stood on four hoofs on the bed than jumped off;big mistake 'oh fuck' as pain jolted through my body instantly I felt it for a moment but shrugged it off as I got up and walked up to the door.

[Dear me:How the hell did I mess up this chapter so badly? well this self written story about me is gonna suck]

As I faced the door the scene changed as I appeared on a tiny circle staring at darkness until finally...

[Challenger Approaches!]

Intensely staring at the words floating in front of me 'where the hell am I?' oh wait is that? no way;in that moment my greatest enemy came flying into the scene [DOOR] this guy is always in my way.... now I get my chance to beat him.

Narrowing my eyes as a GUI opened up in front of me labeled 'Fight' 'Bag' 'Flee' and finally 'catch' alright what is this pokemon? shrugging as I pressed the fight button and the stupidest bullshit ever had to happen;it failed [your attack has failed against enemy;Door] how?!? [Insufficient height to open door] alright that does it, i'm jumping out the window.

Insert name here has left the battle~~~

Still wondering what the hell is even happening that is relevant to the story anymore 'like seriously author get your head in the game' anyways back to the window.

Staring at my newest enemy 'the window' standing up on my back legs and using the front ones to force the window open 'haha' but the window closed immediately after 'what?' I open it again *SLAM* I deadpan 'so that's how its gonna be?' mentally preparing myself for this battle of willpower I spent the next hour opening the window as it kept closing.

After spending mainly the whole day fighting the window I just gave up 'alright!' I threw my hands up in defeat as I fell over with a *oof* as my balance was thrown off making me fall onto my butt with a frown on my face 'now what?' seems like whatever I do is somehow turned into some ridiculous gag; whoever is doing this needs to stop its sick and mean.

Meanwhile in a pocket Dimension

A man was sitting at a desk typing away at his computer screen as he abruptly stopped 'was that?' he looked around for a bit until looking at his wall 'of course it was' seeing as the duck taped wall was being broken through he took the next step;walking over to a dark corner as it dissipated showing a close 'can't believe I have to do this' opening the door and reaching in to grab a 'gluestick?' shrugging he took the gluestick to the wall 'this will shut you up' opening the cap and extending the glue up he reached over and stuck his hand through the hole in the wall.

As a resounding *oof* was heard followed by some mild cursing; the man smiled and ripped the last piece of duct tape from the roll covering the wall completely.

'Aww man I was so clo-- wait?' I put a hoof to my mouth 'no' he didn't 'rubbing at my mouth I felt them sealed shut 'he did' that fucker now how am I supposed to talk? even though I don't know how;welp this calls for finding the nearest thing and breaking it than grabbing some of the shards and cutting my lips apart.

'Alright.... I can take glue to my now bloody mouth' spreading my rear hoofs a little showing 'my tenders' revealing them to be un-averagely small 'tenders' I felt rage.

'WHO THE FUCK SHRUNK MY DICK!?!?!?'