The Stirring

She was … different. She'd always know that. But lately it had manifested into something entirely new. It had started a long time ago. A long time before she even knew of it herself. Only recently had the significance started to dawn on her. It was more than her obsessions with knowledge, perfection, and making every pony else happy. Those she tolerated and took pride in. Not like this, she was ashamed of this … ashamed of how wrong it was.

It had been bothering her more than usual the night before after a small get together with her friends. It had left her disheveled and she had slept poorly. She woke up very early this morning still in that state, and unable to fall asleep again despite her fatigue.

She glanced out her window to see the first rays of the sun peeking over the horizon. She rubbed her eyes groggily with her hoofs before yawning. She sent a quick pulse of magic and the covers lifted off the bed and were dropped unceremoniously on the floor. Ignoring them and rolling out of bed she landed on her hooves unevenly. She swayed for a moment thinking. Thinking again of the night before. Thinking again of the feelings she knew she shouldn't be feeling. Thinking of the -

“ No! “

She shouldn't be thinking that way, it was wrong, in more ways than one. She chided herself for letting her thoughts roam so freely. The familiar sense of shame came bubbling to the surface again. And she embraced it. Taking solace in it. Taking comfort in the fact that it meant that at least she could recognize how improper it was.

She groaned, wishing things could go normally for once. If it wasn't the pressure of her entrance exam at the School for Gifted Unicorns, than it was being the Princesses personal protegee, if it wasn't that it was being an Element of Harmony and having to continually take up the responsibility that came with it, and if all of that wasn't enough already she had to continually take care of her friends. All responsibilities she relished in, but that made life a hassle. Now, just when her life was beginning to settle at last this ( she searched for the word) abomination had to come along.

She groaned again and stepped into her washroom. Magically scooping up water from an awaiting bowl and splashing it across her face, she tried to wake up. Succeeding in only making her jump from the cold, she turned and left the room. She flopped down in front of a mirror and stared at her reflection. At the lavender coat and tousled deep purple mane that clearly spoke of somepony who had just awoken. Her horn glowed once again as she picked up a brush and absentmindedly began brushing.

Though the lack of attention resulted in more than one wince of pain at a pulled hair, the methodical action seemed to clear her mind a little. Slightly relaxed and with the sun now fully over the horizon she stood and walked down the stairs to the main room, ready to begin the day. She smiled in a halfhearted way looking around at all of the books stowed away on their shelves. She crossed the room to a desk scattered with pieces of parchment and a very large leather bound book. Quickly finding the item she was looking for ( a checklist, of all things if you can belief it), she unrolled it in the air before her. Another smile broke across her face in the thought at the frustration all ponies and beings had with a scroll. Unicorns just magicked them in the air before them, but all others fought ceaselessly with the laws of physics to keep the bucking things open.

How ever, seeing as she was a unicorn, and the item in question was held aloft in front her in a purplish glow, she did not have this dilemma. The weekly checklist was quite full, but being the tail end of said week, most items were checked off. She scanned quickly and found the tasks that were not.

“ Lets see what we have … “ She said it to no one in particular, being the only one present, but the verbal proclamation would help her focus. “ Ah, here we have a Spa day with Fluttershy and Rarity tomorrow morning, I have to help Applejack test a few new apple creations afterwords, and- Nothing ? I don't have anything for today ?! That can't be ! I can't have let that happen ! I can't waste an entire day !”

Panic gripped her as the thought of an entire day being put to no good use flashed through her mind. “ Spike !” she called almost at the top of her voice. “ SPIKE ! “

“ W-what ?! “ came a groggy voice from upstairs. “ Is everything okay ?”

The little dragons purple head poked up over the edge from her bedroom, a very confused and tired look on his face. “ Spike, why is there nothing on the checklist for me to do today ? You know I can't spend all day doing nothing when there is so much to do. I mean that’s just plain wasteful and selfish. What if tomorr-” she was cut off by a bemused look coming from Spike. “ What ?!” she demanded.

“ You really are a control freak Twi, you realize that right ?”

Catching on to the humor she smirked up at him. “ Ha ha ha, you're so very funny. Now get down here and explain yourself. “ The dragon frowned and stumbled wearily down the stairs to stand in front of her. “ Now Spike, why is today empty ? “ she shot at him.

“ It isn't. “

“ Than why is there nothing listed ? “ She waved the scroll around for emphasis.

“ There is. “

“ Are you going to tell me and answer in more than three syllables ? “

“ Yes, I will. “

She had to chuckle to herself, the dragons payback for being disrupted from his slumber.

“ Okay Spike, I am sorry I woke you up. Now if you please tell me what you are not telling me you may go back to bed. “

He brightened at the last part, and hastened to comply “ Well, when we made the checklist you asked me to make two, one with very important stuff on it, one with less important stuff on it. That's the less important stuff. Today was scheduled to be a day for more important stuff. Now, I am going back to bed. “ He turned and began climbing back up the steps. She placed the scroll back down and instead used her power to pluck the dragon from the top step and set him back down in front of her.

“ Uhh, gosh Twilight what now ? You said I could go back to bed ? “

“ Yes Spike, but you haven't finished. Where is the other checklist ? “

“ Couldn't you have just asked instead of picking me up and flying me about the room ? “

“ I suppose, but I didn't. “

“ Well I don't appreciate it very much, being picked up by that stuff feels all weird and tingly like -”

“ SPIKE ! Where in Equestria is the other checklist ?! “ she said in frustration at the easy way in which the conversation at been distracted.

“ Uhm, its on the back of the first one ?” He answered some what sheepishly. The scroll departed from the desk and floated across the room to come to rest before her. She flipped it over and saw the second checklist. “ Oh okay Spike, my apologies. Thank you for being understanding. “

“ So I can go now ? “ her assistant replied. “ Yes Spike you may go. “ She watched as he climbed the steps grumbling. She shook her head and turned back to the parchment. This checklist was much smaller, and all but one item had been crossed off. “ … help Zecora gather herbs and supplies in the Everfree Forest. “ This was indeed very important. Over the winter many ponies had become sick. Some had come close to dieing. They had been saved by the intelligent zebra, Zecora. She had made up a natural remedy that had brought every one back to good health. How ever, with the fear of repeating the events of the past winter, the Mayor had asked Zecora to make much much more of this remedy so that they could be adequately prepared.

Today she and her friends were to help the zebra in harvesting large quantities of a flower that only grew deep in the Everfree forest, and that only bloomed in the middle of summer for a small window of opportunity. This window of opportunity. The forest was dangerous so Zecora had asked her friends to help when the time came. Everypony had agreed except Fluttershy, and yesterday Pinkie Pie and Rarity had to cancel due to preparation for an upcoming event. It would just be her, Zecora, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash.

Her heart sunk at the mention of the last name. All the feelings she had been able to keep at bay this morning came rushing back. Mainly shame, but another feeling, deeper, that made her squirm ever so slightly. She stopped herself before she let it go any farther.

Noting that she didn't have to be at the zebras hut till noon, she decided on small breakfast at Sugar Cube Corner. She walked out into the sun, and relished in the warmth. Banishing all thoughts form her head. She quickly trotted through Ponyville, still soaking up the sun's warming rays. Reaching her destination, she entered the small shop with a smile on her face. She looked around for the tell tale cotton candy mane of her friend but saw none.

“ Mrs. Cake ? “ she asked the friendly owner.

“ Oh Twilight how nice to see you. You're certainly up early. What can I do for you ? “

“ I was wondering, is Pinkie Pie in ?”

The ponies smile faltered. “ No I'm sorry dearie, she had to leave a little while ago to make a delivery. I'm afraid she won't be back for sometime. “

The smile on Twilight’s face dropped a little. She had hoped the exuberant mare would be able to cheer her up. “ Oh, okay I guess. “

“ Twilight “ she said softly, a note of concern in her voice. “ Is everything okay ? You seem a little down. “

“ Oh yes I'm fine, I uh- just didn't sleep well. “ she lied. She hoped it wasn't to noticeable.

“ Ah, I'm sorry to hear that. Now, is there anything I can get you ? “ “ I suppose I'd like something sweet for breakfast. “ she smiled at the though of the wonderful Sugar Cube Corner creation to come.

She sat on a bench at the edge of Ponyville eating her sweet. She smiled to herself. It was impossible not to be happy when eating one of theses delectable pastries. She slowly ate and watched the sun climb higher into the sky. A few ponies nodded to her as they passed her by, heading about town on their own business.

She finished her meal, but just sat their. Contently watching the course of the sun and her fellow residents. She could see a rainbow forming in the haze over the forest. She smiled looking at it.

Shame. Once again ,she reprimanded herself for the feelings. It's just a rainbow, stop making that connection. There's nothing there for you. It's wrong, very wrong. Just forget about her- she caught her mistake -it. Stop thinking about it. More shame welled up from inside, still mixed with other feelings. Though ones she didn't feel like paying attention to.

Her head sunk to her chest and her eyes closed in a form she was often taking these days. A few tears dripped down her muzzle to dot the ground between her hooves. She didn't know how long she sat there crying to herself before she was brought back to the real world. She looked to the sky to see the sun approaching it's highest arc. She must have been like that for a while. She got up and started walking dejectedly towards Carousel Boutique, thinking she might talk to Rarity for a bit before she had to leave for the forest.

She arrived in front of the building to see it closed up. Odd, Rarity is almost always in. She wondered in confusion for a moment before realizing she was off with Pinkie Pie helping with what ever event they were working on. Feeling slightly hurt that her friends weren’t their when she needed them, she turned and walked away.

Heading to the forest, guessing that she might as well be early, she brooded in thought. Today had started off bad, continued bad, and was most likely going to end bad. A single solitary tear ran down her cheek. She had to stop with all of this nonsense. She couldn't keep wallowing in self pity and that ever present shame.

Before she knew it she was in front of the zebras hut. She glanced in the sky to see the sun almost directly over head. Good, she was only a little bit early. She sat on a likely looking stump and waited. It was only a few moments before Zecora came out. “ Ah, Twilight Sparkle my friend, thank you for helping me on this most important errand. “ the zebra rhymed. She smiled “ Of course Zecora, anything for my friends. “

“ That is good, but tell me, what has put you in such a foul mood ? “

“ Oh nothing, just a lot on my mind I guess. “

“ Okay, if you say you're fine, just remember, I am here anytime. “

“ Thank you Zecora. “

She remained sitting as they waited for the rest of the party to show up. Feelings still swelled inside her, but she distracted herself form them by watching a butterfly lazily glide around a beam of sunlight. She watched it, content to admire in it's beauty and gracefulness as it weaved through the particles of light. Not unlike the beauty and grace of another flier she knew …

No ! She smacker her forehead for emphasis. No ! Stop thinking that. It can not be. You will only make things worse. Get over it and move on with your life. She raised her head wearily, tired from her own antics , to see Zecora quickly look away.

Great, now Zecora knew something else was bothering her. At least the zebra had the decency to respect Twilight's privacy in the matter. She got up off the stump and began pacing, a little anxiously. It was a few more minutes before the unmistakable sound of hooves on a trail came to ear. She stopped her pacing and turned to see an orange mare with a yellow mane and a brown hat round a corner in the path.

The pony came trotting up with a smile on her face. “ Well, a good day to you Zecora, and ah you as well Twi. “ The pony said in an unmistakable country accent. Zecora flashed a smile and replied. “ Applejack it is always a pleasure, are you not accompanied by the one with the feathers ?”

“ Nah I'm afraid not mam. She should be along shortly though. “

Twilight tried to ignore the last part and instead looked up into the canopy above her. She looked back down and had to jump back in surprise. “ Applejack ? It's always nice to see you but, why are you standing so close to me like that ? And uhm well, staring ?” she asked somewhat nervously. Applejack didn't reply, she just closed the gap caused by Twilight’s jump and proceeded to stare at her. She had a confused look on her face. “ Uh, hello ? Applejack. Are you alright ?”

“ Yes Twilight, why'd ya ask ?”

“ Well, your still staring. “

“ I am aware of that. “

“ Why ?”

“ Because somethings not right with you. “

Her heart sank, she didn't want to get into this. “ I don't know what you're talking about AJ.”

“ Well,” she replied slowly. “ it looks to me like somethings bothering you real bad. You okay ?” Twilight tried to hitch a smile on her face. “ Yes I'm fine, thank you. “

“ Hmm, “ Applejack did not seem convinced. “ Well alright, if ya say so. “ She finally took a step back and turned away. She looked up the trail than into the sky. “ Now where is that Pegasus. She's late. “

As if on cue a cyan colored blur dropped down from the trees and landed with a flourish in front of them. “ I'm right here, calm down. Also, I'm not late. I am exactly on time thank you very much. “ Applejack frowned. “ Okay, you've made your little dramatic entrance, now can we get to work ?” The Pegasus sighed. “ Very well. “

The second the cyan colored Pegasus had appeared Twilight's heart had started racing. Her mind went into over drive. She blushed. She looked down at her hooves to avoid being caught looking so silly. One thought began racing through her mind. She's here. She's here ! Shame tried to come to the surface again, but it was beat down by the singular thought of the pony. She blushed even more.

The new pony spoke up. “ Oh hey Twilight, didn't see you there. How's it going ?” Twilight looked up, she saw the other pony looking right at her. “ Oh Rainbow Dash, hi uh um I mean hello. It's uh – well, good. How are you ? “ She stumbled over her own words and returned to looking at her hooves. If it was possible she blushed even more.

“ Uhm okay Twilight. Is uh, everything okay ? You're acting a little strange. “ Rainbow replied, a little concerned.

Twilight fought and mastered her emotions. She pushed them back down, deep. She felt her cheeks cool a little, though she knew she was still blushing. Looking up she gave the same reply to the same question she’d been answering all morning. “ Yes, I am perfectly fine. Are we ready to get started ? “

Rainbow looked a little worried but quickly turned her attention to Zecora as she started talking. “ Yes Twilight that is a wonderful idea, for that is why you are all here-a. Today we will be traveling deep into the forest, looking for a flower called the Everfree Florist. This flower is blue, and grows sparse and few. You recognize it leaves by the sweet smell it breaths. “ Zecora paused and looked to make sure everypony understood what they were to do. “ If there are no further remarks, we shall depart. “

Zecora turned and stepped into the forest, followed by Applejack. Twilight and Rainbow Dash paused. “ Twilight, are you sure everything is okay ? “ She still looked concerned for her friend. “ Yes Rainbow, as I said. I am completely fine. “ Dash didn't buy it. But she shrugged and turned to follow the others. Twilight watched her friend walking through woods and felt her heart flutter. She shook her head, and followed.