Misplaced Displaced

by Frazzle2Dazzle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 7708

The merchant is very good at what he does. ...Usually. These are short snippets of how some of his items... Backfired.

The merchant is very good at what he does. ...Usually. These are short snippets of how some of his items... Backfired. The results should be pretty interesting.

This is a crack fic, don't take this seriously.

Published 2018-08-16 04:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-15 05:49:12 UTC

1 Twilight Doll

Ren walked around the comicon, looking around for the perfect gift for his sister, Jenny.

...Aaaand looking for some other cool comic stuff to get, if he happened to see anything.

She was really into MLP and had begged him to bring her back a present from his trip, so, putting two and two together... Not that hard to come up with an idea for his gift.

"Nice Werewolf costume!" He heard a girl dressed as WonderWoman tell him as he passed by.

He bared his fake fangs in a grin at her and gave a quick, "Thanks!" before heading further on, looking for a gift to get Jenny.

He'd already done most of the cool stuff at the con, including getting an autograph from Stan Lee(Heck yeah!) and buying a smaller version of Thanos' gauntlet, complete with Infinity stones, which he currently kept in his back-pack, which was kinda chafing against the flannel he had on to go with the fake fur and teeth he had on.

As he continued walking, a booth in an emptier section of the con caught his eye. Stacked on the table out in front were numerous, high-quality items, that looked like exact replicas of the things they were based off of. Behind the table was a man in a dark cloak with wrappings around his face, as well as a backpack on over the cloak.

Ren immediately recognized him as being dressed as the Merchant from the Resident Evil games. Man, that costume's good...

Walking over, he saw many things from many series, including the One Ring from LOTR, a Spiderman mask, and even a magic wand that he suspected was from Harry Potter.

But of course, what really caught his eye was a very detailed plush toy over on the side of the table, one of a purple equine from his sister's favorite show. What's her name? ByeLight? KiteFight? TryWhite? In any case, it looked exactly like the character from the show.

Walking up, he took a look at the other things on display as the Merchant finished dealing with another costumer.

"...And remember, push the core down, don't slap it! It's a collectible!" He said as his previous customer stepped away, clicking some sort of watch over his wrist. Turning towards Ren, the Merchant asked, "And what can I do for you today?"

Looking over the items on the table, and thinking of his wallet that had gotten progressively skinny throughout the day, he sighed, reaching over and grabbing the purple plushie. "My sister wanted me to get a present for her while I was here today, and this looks like the best thing I've seen so far. How much would you say it costs?"

Looking at the doll, the Merchant thought for a moment before answering. "I'd say about $20 dollars sounds right."

Humming in thought, Ren set the plush down on top of a case of Baterangs and swung his backpack off and around his shoulders. Reaching past the gauntlet inside it, he grabbed his wallet before reversing his prior actions and opening it. Sighing with relief, he saw that it was just within his price range, if he factored in the cost of fuel on the drive back home.

Pulling out a few fives and some ones, he started handing them to the Merchant before he noticed something... Off.

"Uh... Where's the plush?"

The Merchant looked startled, glancing down at the blank spot on the table, where even the Batarangs had gone missing. He inwardly groaned at what happened. Not THIS again...

~Equestria: Fluttershy's Cottage...~

Fluttershy hummed as she walked Angel bunny away from her cottage, heading off to meet up with the other girls for another playdate with their pets. It was just a week since Rainbow Dash had gotten Tank as her new pet, and they had already gone on two wonderful playdates since then.

"Oh, I just have a feeling today is going to be a great day, Angel! The sun is shining, all the pretty little birds are singing, and when we get home from your playdate, I can settle down to one of those nice nature books Twilight loaned me."

Angel turned back to her, stopping and tapping his foot expectantly. Fluttershy chuckled at his antics. "Oh, right, and you can settle down to a nice salad, Angel!"

Satisfied with that response, Angel turned and continued hopping along, heading along the path to the clearing where they usually had their playdates.

Fluttershy smiled as she followed him. Yes, I have a feeling today is going to be won-!

Her line of thought came to a halt as she noticed something just a little ways off the path. Was that... Twilight? And had she shrunk herself?

"My goodness! Angel, do you see that?!"

Angel glanced over before jumping in surprise and looking again. He rubbed his eyes just to make sure he wasn't seeing things, then started hopping over to the small Twilight, Fluttershy close behind.

Now that she was closer, it didn't quite look as much like Twilight as she originally thought. Instead, it looked like a doll made of cloth that looked almost exactly like Twilight. ...Almost.

Fluttershy quirked an eyebrow as she asked the obvious question. "Uh... Twilight doesn't have wings, does she?"

Her question went un-answered as Angel slowly approached it, lightly poking a winged appendage on the doll. Of course, that wasn't the smartest thing to do...

Suddenly, as soon as he touched, both Angel and the doll started floating upwards and glowing, casting off a white light as they twirled in the air around each other.

"Angel!" Fluttershy shouted as she ran forward to save her pet, only to be rebuffed by some sort of magic field around the two, causing her to stumble back and land her plot on something the felt hard and plastic-like. She suddenly froze as she felt something slither over her body, enclosing her in it's embrace. Looking down, she saw it coating her hooves and move up to her barrel, a steady black stream of fabric making it's way up her body towards her head.

With a scared whimper, she closed her eyes as it fell over her head...

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy!" Twilight and her friends searched up the path, calling out their yellow friend's name. "Where are you?"

Fluttershy was usually the first one at their meet-up spot, but as it steadily got later, and more and more of her friends arrived, they all started to get worried and went looking for her.

"Wherever could that poor mare be? It's not like her to miss a scheduled playdate for our pets." Rarity added in.

Pinkie Pie nodded. "Yeah, usually she's REEEAAALLLY early, but this time she's REEEAAALLLY late, and that makes me REEEA-!"

Rainbow Dash's hoof in her mouth cut off the rest of her sentence. "We get it, Pinkie. We're all worried. Let's hurry up and find Fluttershy! I don't know how long Tank can wait."

"Hey, what's that?" Twilight called to the others, pointing at something a little ways off the path. It looked like a charcoal-black form splayed out in the grass, with something small, purple, and... Furry, next to it.

"Looks like somepony got into a bit of trouble, Twi." Applejack stated. "Let's go see how we can help."

As they walked over the unconscious pony groaned, before lifting their head a little, which was currently faced away from them. Looking over themselves, they let out a little, "Eep!" Correction: A very familiar, little eep.

Twilight's eyes widened in amazement. "FLUTTERSHY?!" She and the rest of the girls ran the rest of the way to in front Fluttershy, and sure enough there was a bit of pink mane sticking out from an opening in the front of the black... Outfit, she had on, exposing just her yellow mouth.

"What happened to you?!" Twilight exclaimed. "Are you all right?!"

"And why in Celestia's name are you wearing such a garish cape?" Rarity said, holding the offending item of clothing up in her hoof.

Fluttershy immediately said, "BECAUSE I'M BATMANE!"

Everybody immediately blinked for a few moments, shocked. Fluttershy looked the most confused out of all of them. "Uh, um, why did I do that?" She said in her normal soft voice.

Pinkie Pie pounced on the opportunity. "Because you're Batmane!" Everybody gave her a small glare. "Whaaaat, It's true!"

Sighing, Twilight turned back to Fluttershy. "Ignore her. So, what happened, Fluttershy?"

She took a moment to think on this. "I- I don't know. One minute, me and Angel were walking along to get to the playdate with you and your pets, when suddenly-! Gasp! Angel?!" She leaped up to her hooves with nearly super-pony speed and looked frantically around, her eyes finally settling on the lump of purple fur next to her. "Angel!"

Everypony gathered around her, looking down at the the puffy purple fur. It was certainly SHAPED like Angel... Except for a very prominent horn and very obvious pair of wings.

They stood in silence till Twilight finally broke it. "Did Angel... Become an Alicorn rabbit?"

"How can we be sure that this REALLY IS Angel?" Rainbow Dash broke in.

"Wait, no-!" Twilight futilely tried to stop her but was interrupted by-

"BECAUSE SHE'S/I'M BATMANE!" ...Yeah. You can guess who said that.

~Meanwhile, back on Earth...~

Ren walked away from the booth, stuffing his money back in his backpack, making the Merchant sigh in disappointment.

"So much potential with that one..." He sighed before turning back to the next person in line. "So, what can I help you with today?"

Author's Note

Which is scarier: Flutter-BatMane, or Angel the Alicorn Bunny?

2 Watch Out!

Ren breathed in the smell of the con. The food... The ink on paper... The smell of dyed clothing. All such unmistakable signs of a geek-fest.

Well, that, or a salvation army next to a diner.

Either way, it was fantastic.

Walking through the crowds, he looked over the booths around him, passing a few Marvel fan booths, a line for DC actor autographs, a book signing booth, etc...

Then he saw him again.

"Groan... I'm gonna end up going over there, aren't I?"

Sighing, he skipped the middle man and walked over to the Merchant's booth yet again. He looked over the wares as the guy in front of him was finishing up.

"...I hope you have a wonderful day!" The Merchant said to the girl he was talking to as she walked off, before looking towards Ren. "And what can I do for you today, sir?"

Ren gave him a deadpan look. "Sell me something that doesn't disappear, perhaps?"

The Merchant looked confused for a moment before blinking in surprise. "Oh... You're the Werewolf from the con a few months back. The new costume threw me off." He said, gesturing towards his robes. "Hmm... A Jedi costume, right? I have just the thing for that kind of outfit!"

Before Ren could say anything, the Merchant had pulled out a silver tube, with very detailed bits and pieces that actually looked like machinery on it. "This is Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, which he-"

"Which he built from blueprints Obi-Wan had left in his home on Tatooine." Ren completed, pulling out his own, very similar lightsaber. "Already got one, dude."

If the Merchant could sweat drop, he certainly would have right then. "Er... Right. Of course! Hmm... Perhaps you'd like a blaster to go with your lightsaber?" He said, pulling out a standard clone rifle from under the table.

Ren raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna be a nerd and quote Obi-Wan now. 'So uncivilized'." He frowned as he looked over the wares again. "How about that?" Ren asked, pointing towards a white and green watch with a black face that had green lines in the shape of an hourglass on it.

Looking at it, you could practically see the Merchant grinning behind his mask. "Ah, that would be the Omnitrix from Ben 10! Considering how much trouble you had last time, I'd give you a deal of... Fifteen dollars."

Ren whistled at that. For something that looked so nice and detailed... "Deal!" He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and picked out 3 fives, handing them to the Merchant. Smiling, he took the Omnitrix and walked away while strapping it on his wrist.

...Well, he would've walked away, if he hadn't disappeared first.

Back at his booth, the Merchant grinned evilly under his mask.

Ren idly fiddled with the watch on his wrist, examining the intricate detail on it.

Even if his stuff disappears, he does have some awesome ite-

His thoughts cut off as he walked into a tree... And fell backwards... Into a basket... Right as apples fell on top of him.

In short order, these are the sounds he made:

"Ow! Woah, oof! Yow-ow-ow-ow-ow-OW!"

Groaning, he glanced down at the basket he was sitting in. "...Who brings a basket full of apples to Comic-con?" He looked up. "...Who brings a tree to Comic-con?"

And then he looked around. "Oh... I'm not at Comic-con."

He would be proud to say that he maintained his cool head during that and immediately knew what was going on.

Sadly, that would be a lie.

Big Macintosh hummed happily as he walked home, his empty wagon of apples and full sack of bits with him. Today had been a good haul at the market and he had more than enough bits to fix every leak in the barn roof.

Yessiree, today was looking to be a great day.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

...Fine, I'll admit it. That was a lie too.

Big Mac's ears perked up as he heard the scream. Worse, he heard where it came from: Home.

"Eeeenope!" Macintosh cried out as he started running a full-out sprint back to Sweet Apple Acres.

Ren breathed in deeply, calming himself down. "Okay Ren, relax, you're just probably in a sugar induced dream from the deep fried Twinkies you ate earlier... Nothing to worry about... It's not real..."

Yeah, right. Even he didn't believe himself.

So, here were the facts: One, he had somehow disappeared from Comic-con and ended up in a forest.

Two, it happened right after he put the weird watch-thing on.

Three, he was sitting in a wooden basket filled with app...les...

Oh.

OH.

Ren jumped to his feet and looked around to see if anybody was nearby. Who would leave a wooden basket lying around to just topple into after all?

"Helloooo! Anybody there?" ...No reply. So far.

"I'm a little lost! I could use some help!" He yelled out as he walked around the tree, glancing around. Hopefully somebody DIDN'T just leave a wooden basket lying around to topple into. That would just be-

"Who in the hay are you?"

Ren blinked... Then blinked again. He wiped his eyes just to be sure.

"I asked ya a question. Who are ya?" The orange skinned woman asked.

Yeah, ORANGE. And not the healthy sun-tan version. The lady was about 5 and a half feet tall, with blonde, shoulder length hair, a red long-sleeved shirt, and dusty blue overalls.

Of course, Ren's brain was still stuck on the orange skin thing. Seriously, her freckles were the only normal skin thing about her... Skin.

"Whointhewhatnow?" Was the response he managed. What happens if she gets a sunburn...?

"Sigh... Let me say this a little slower. Who. Are. You?" She sarcastically stated to him.

That finally snapped him out of his shock. "Uh, I'm Ren, Ren Barnes." Well, at least he can speak normally again.

She offered him a hand. "Ah'm Applejack, pardner. Mind telling me what you're doing on mah farm?" She asked as Ren took her hand and shook it.

Farm? Well, that rules out cosplay for an explanation on the skin... "I, uh... Don't... Know... I'm honestly just as confused as you are, Appl- Wait, Applejack?" That name sounded familiar for some reason... Besides, who named their child Applejack? If you're going to name them after a drink, at least make it Lemonade.

She gave him a funny look. "Yeah, APP-LE-JACK. I suppose ya might've heard of me?"

Okay, now the name was starting to seem really familiar. "Uh... Maybe? Should I have?"

Before she could answer, Ren felt an impact on his side and he flew- Literally! -through the air, hitting his head against a tree... As well as the rest of his body. He fell backwards due to a tree related incident a second time that day.

As he landed on the ground, dizzy and with darkness encroaching on his vision, his last sight was that of an apple falling from the branches directly for his face.

Oh, grea-

Sploch!

And with that, he knew no more.

"Big Mac! What in the hay did ya go and do that for?!" Applejack scolded her older brother.

Big Mac blinked in surprise at the sight of his sister. She looked okay. "I heard screaming, and I thought you might've been the one do'in it."

"So yah just ran down a helpless stranger to try an save me?" She asked with a glare.

Big Mac sheepishly rubbed a red hand on the back of his head. "Eeyup."

Applejack glared at him for a little longer before sighing. "Come on. Let's get him over to the house. I reckon he'll be a might confused once he wakes up."

Big Mac nodded, moving towards the unconscious form of Ren Barnes. "Eeyup." He bashfully stated in embarrassment.

One hour later...

Ren groaned as he groggily woke, feeling sore all over. Man, that was a strange dream... I swear, it almost feels li-

His thoughts were preemptively cut off as he rolled over and fell onto a nice solid hardwood floor. THAT woke him up.

"Oof~! Ow..." He shook his to get rid of the stars in his vision before looking around.

He appeared to be lying on the floor of someone's living room next to a couch that, judging by how near it was, was what he had been sleeping in. And looking around everything was made of wood.

No, seriously. There were wood floors, wood walls, wood ceiling,... Didn't look like there was a single bit of drywall or plaster.

Oh, yeah, there was also a yellow girl standing in the door-

"Howdy there! I'm Applebloom!" The red-haired, yellow complexioned girl exclaimed while holding a hand out to him.

Ren, stupidly, just blinked.

After a few moments 'Applebloom' retracted her hand with a confused look on her face. "Are you okay there, mister?"

That snapped him out of it as he shook his head and made slow exclamations of, "No, no, no, no,..." over and over again, worrying Applebloom even more.

"Uh, what's the matter, mister Ren? Are ya hurt or somethin'?"

He slowly got up, muttering to himself. "This isn't real, can't be real, just a bad, sister induced dream..." Looking up towards Applebloom, Ren sighed and gave a more vocal response. "No, no, I'm fine as a guy who's going crazy can be." Why the h*** am I in Equestria Girls? Did I die and get sent to the bad afterlife?

Applebloom smiled, relieved that he wasn't hurt. "Well, ya don't seem too crazy." Glancing at his wrist, she finally asked the question that was bugging her since her older siblings brought him there. "Say, what kinda watch is that?" She emphasized her statement by pointing at the white and green device on his wrist.

Ren glanced at his left arm in surprise. "I... Don't know..." The Merchant guy said it was a whata-trix? Shrugging, he shoved the question aside as non-important. He was dreaming, maybe the Merchant didn't actually sell him it.

"Would you like to hold it?"

Applebloom beamed from ear to ear. "Ah sure would, mister Ren sir!" She said while looking intently at said device.

Ren frowned at that, though. "Wait... How do you know my name?"

"My sis told me it when she and Big Mac brought you here." Applebloom answered, nonplussed.

Ren stared at her. Big Mac...? Yup, definitely a dream. Sighing, he pushed aside the restaurant themed name and shoved the watch off his wrist.

Or, well, tried to shove it off his wrist.

Grunting, he heaved and pulled at it, but it refused to move, stubbornly staying where it was. It was like he was trying to pull his own hand off!

Applebloom glanced at it worriedly. "Here, maybe ah I can help." She then grabbed at the device without any further hesitation and started tugging.

Man... She was strong! It felt like she was trying to tug his whole arm out of it's socket!

"Yow, owowow!"

She immediately let go and he fell back, landing on the couch. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I din't mean to hurt ya!"

Holding his arm that was still hurting a bit, he managed a tight smile in her direction. "It's okay... It's just that I have a stupid watch that doesn’t come off!" He exclaimed while angrily hitting said item.

Note: Do not slap things that probably sent one to another world. It can lead to terrible consequences if you learn that the hard way...

Applebloom swore to Applejack she didn't know what happened and that she did not, whatsoever, cause it, no matter what her reputation as a Crusader might be.

It had started out simply enough with Ren asking her to help get his watch off, and when it wouldn't slip off, he had hit it in frustration. That much she understood. But what happened next was a bit... Iffy.

"Tell me it again, Applebloom." Applejack said with a sigh, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm not lying, Applejack!" She adamantly protested. "I've already told you what happened!"

"Well tell it again!" Applejack said, exasperated. "It's a might difficult to believe."

Applebloom silently fumed. "Fine! After he hit his watch there was a bright flash of light and he turned into a blue lizard-person-thing and started freaking out."

"And so you screamed?" Applejack said with a raised eyebrow.

"What was Ah' supposed to do?! He was a Changeling! He could'a sucked the love right out'a me!" She exclaimed.

"And then he bolted?"

Applbloom nodded. "Once he figured he was found out, he just... Disappeared. One moment he was there, the next, nothing but a breeze from where he was sitting. I swear to ya, that's the truth!"

Applejack sighed, rubbing her forehead this time. "Ah' believe ya..." She shook her head at the explanation. "We better find him before he goes and does anything."

Applebloom snorted. "He’s just one Changeling. What could he do?"

Ren raced down the road, freaking out and yelling with his now raspy sounding voice.

"YAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He stared at his hands, well, claws, in shock and fear as he ran. He screamed again as he realized how fast he was running, though that didn't stop him from continuing to speed along.

What the h*** just happened?! He had just hit his watch, no big deal, right? Wrong! One moment he was himself, then the next he was... Well, this, whatever the heck he was! After Applebloom started freaking out and screaming, he had darted out the door, intent on getting away from the girl who was no doubt a lot more freaked out by this then he was.~~And probably a lot stronger than him too.~~

He took several deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down. Relax Ren, there has to be a logi-

Thunk!

Crash!

Smack!

Thud...

Ren felt pain blossoming from all over his body as he lay on the ground moaning. In short order, he had ran through a wooden board someone was carrying, crashed through the window of some sort of house, hit the person on the other side of said window, and crashed into the wall with them. He was now surrounded by books and covered in... Purple... Oh no.

Twilight Sparkle groaned as she pushed herself up and off of Ren, shaking her head dizzily. She looked down to see a blue and black humanoid lizard-thing underneath her.

Ren just stupidly waved a claw at her. "Hi..."

Twilight jumped off of him and her horn ~~that he just noticed one her head~~ lit up and he was immediately surrounded by a purple aura and lifted into the air by a blushing Twilight. Wait, why was she...? He then noticed her laundry scattered about the room too. Uh oh...

"Who are you, what are you, and why did you run through my window?!" She angrily asked, gesturing to the broken window behind her.

Ren gulped. "Uh, well, you see, I, uh, um-" And saving him from having to answer, a loud beeping resounded throughout the library, and when Ren looked down in surprise at the source of it, he saw a badge of some sort flashing red on his chest. What the...?

A red flash emanated from his entire body, and suddenly he was, thank goodness, back to normal. Bad news though: Twilight was still levitating him. Not good...

"What the-?! Are you a Changeling?!" She asked in surprise and maybe even slight hatred. "What are you doing in Ponyville?!"

Ren opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly a certain orange skinned farmer chose that exact moment to barge in through the front of the library. "Twilight, thank goodness you're here, there's a-!"

"Changeling on the loose?" Twilight stated, finishing her friend sentence.

"Wha-? How did ya know about....?" Applejack stopped talking when she finally noticed Ren floating in the air. "Oh, uh, yeah, him."

Ren kept on panicking from where he was floating, looking at both in pure shock and surprise. "Uh.... Would it help my case if I said that this wasn’t my fault?" At the angry glare from Twilight, he nervously grinned a bit. "Eh-heh... Didn't think so..."

"So... What're we s'posed to do with him?"

"I'll have to send a letter to Celestia and ask for her opinion on this. In the meantime, we'll have to keep him locked up somewhere."

Wait, lock me up? Uh, yeah, that’s gonna be a no...

Ren frantically started fiddling with the watch thing on his wrist as the two continued talking.

“Where in the hay are we gonna keep a fella like him locked up? Ponyville din’t have a set of jail cells last ah checked.”

“We’ll just have to keep him restrained in my lab until Celestia gets here.” Twilight started moving down a set of stairs, carrying Ren with her in her telekinetic grip. “Please go get the rest of the girls for this, AJ.”

“You got it, Twi!” Applejack ran out the door, heading off into the midst of the town to gather her friends.

“Yeah, is it still too late to tell you that I’m innocent of any and all charges?” Ren nervously asked.

“You ran through my window at a hundred miles an hour, into me, my laundry, and the section of magic books while running away from one of my friends. Plus, you’re also a Changeling.” Well, when she says it like that...

Ren glanced at his wrist again, still fiddling with it when it turned from red to a glowing green. In his surprise, he didn’t immediately stop messing with it, and the watch face went up and down in quick succession. His vision was immediately assaulted by a bright green flash, which made Twilight yelp in surprise.

A moment later, as he looked down at himself, he saw the torso of an anthro tiger, with muscles the size of watermelons. Of course, that was the least of the changes...

With a roar, Ren looked up and glared at Twilight with solid green eyes... Right as her spell failed from the sudden addition of weight.

With a mrow of alarm, Ren tumbled backwards down the stairs they had just come to, grunting all the way down.

As he rolled to a stop on the basement floor, he growled before jumping to his feet. “LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, STAIRS THAT REN JUST TUMBLED DOWN, REN IS GONNA GRIND YOU INTO SAWDUST BETWEEN REN’S FINGERS AND LET WOOD PECKERS EAT YOU FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, AND DESERT!!”

And as Twilight started coming down the stairs, Ren promptly started pounding them, shaking the very foundations of the building and causing her to lose her balance and topple over forwards down the stairs, landing right on top of Ren.

Ren growled before grabbing her off his face and holding her in front of himself.

“LET ME TELL YA SOMETHING, STRANGE PURPLE PERSON WITH A HORN! REN IS NOT A CHANGEMACALLIT! AND IF YOU CALL REN A CHANGEWHATSIT AGAIN, REN WILL TAKE YOUR BOOKS, PUT MUSTARD ON THEM, AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM LIKE HOT DOGS!” He yowled out.

Twilight could only stare at him with wide, scared eyes.

“W- What are you?” She stuttered out.

“REN IS-“ He paused in his speech. “Uh, I don’t know what I am. BUT REN IS NOT A CHANGEWHOSIT!”

And just as he was about to drop her on the ground, a beam of energy shot down the stairs and hit him in the chest, sending him flying back while he reflexively let go of Twilight, who was caught in a white magical aura.

“My goodness! Are you alright, Twilight?” Rarity said, running down the stairs.

Before she could respond, Ren gave out a roar and jumped to his feet, glaring at Rarity.

“LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, STRANGE WHITE PERSON WITH-“

There was a red flash and Ren was a human again.

“-A Horn...”

The two girls stared at Ren for a few moments, Ren staring right back.

“Uh... Time-out?” He offered, weakly.

“Attention, warranty has gone into effect. Full refund initiated.” A voice rang out from the device on his wrist.

“Wait, wha-“ Ren disappeared in a flash of white light before he could finish, the watch falling to the floor where he was.

Twilight and Rarity just stood there, shocked.

“...What just happened?” Twilight pointlessly asked.

Before Rarity could say anything, the voice rang out from the watch again.

“Self destruct initiated.”

Twilight’s eyes bugged out.

“SELF DESTRUC-“

And with no further ado, the watch blew up, and their universe knew no more.

“-how much trouble you had last time, I’d give you a deal of... Fifteen dollars.”

Ren’s head shook like he was just waking up. He glanced at the watch the Merchsnt held and then to the man himself before giving a nervous smile.

“I, uh, just remembered I need to be somewhere right now. Talktoyoulaterbye!”

Ren quickly walked off while the Merchant stared after him, before looking at the watch itself.

“Hmm... Maybe I should’ve voided the warranty first...”

Author's Note

Oh, look, an update. Yay.

Feel free to: Comment, flame, like, dislike, tell me my successes, my failings, and how wrong I am in the head.

3 Return To Sender

Twilight waved a hoof to her parents and brother as she left her home, ready to start her journey.

“Bye, sweetie! Be sure to write!” Her mother called out as she left, waving a hoof.

“Don’t worry, mom! I’ll send a letter every week!” Twilight called back over her shoulder. “I’ll be home once I beat the league!” Turning forward again, she raced forward down the path and away from her home for the past seventeen years into the thick of Canterlot.

As she headed down the streets and toward Professor Oak’s laboratory, her grin continued to widen in excitement as she practically skipped down the road, happy thoughts racing through her head.

Oh I can’t wait to see what Pokémon I get! I hope they’ll like me, cause if they don’t like me, that’ll be a bad way to start my journey, and if I start my journey badly, I will probably finish badly, andifIfinishbadlyIWON’TBECOMEAPOKÉMONPROFESSOR-

Twilight mentally slapped herself before continuing to trot down the street.

Relax, Twilight, nothing like that is going to happen, the Pokémon you get will like you, and you’ll beat the League and get a scholarship to the Canterlot Pokémon College, and everything will work out fine... Probably.

Finally, after about a half hour of walking, she stopped outside Professor Oak’s lab in the Pokémon district of Canterlot, grinning in excitement, before heading inside through the double doors.

Ren smiled as he walked through the con, enjoying the sites and sounds, especially the pretty cosplaying girls, who he, dressed as Tony Stark, gave a wink or two at as they passed him by.

Quite the con, this year... Hope that I can get some autographs for my collection at home. Maybe get that new Spidey comic signed...

As he was looking though...

“Wait... Is that...?”

From behind his stall, a man in a hood and face wrap gave off a chuckle as he handed a Lilo and Stitch hat to a person cosplaying as Goofy.

“Have a good day, sir!”

Twilight gaped in shock as she saw three ponies had beaten her to the lab and already claimed the three starters Professor Oak had.

“...And remember, they are your partners, not pets, so treat your Pokémon with kindness and respect.” She heard the tail end of Oak’s speech to the beginning trainers as she walked up.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. The great and powerful Trainer Trixie will be an expert at handling her Pokémon!” A blue unicorn mare with silver mane wearing a pointy wizard hat and star patterned cape exclaimed flamboyantly.

Another unicorn mare, this one orange with a red and yellow mane, snorted at that. “If this is what an expert looks like, I’d hate to see how a novice looks.”

The third one, a blue pegasus mare with a rainbow colored mane and tail, scoffed at the two of them. “I’m gonna be at least twenty percent cooler while taking care of my Pokémon than you two will be combined!”

Twilight shook herself out of her stupor and quickly walked around the three arguing mares and up to Professor Oak, a grey stallion with a white tail and mane, wearing a red shirt and a lab coat.

“Uh, excuse me... Do you have any Pokémon for trainers left, by chance?”

Professor Oak turned to Twilight, surprise on his face.

“Oh, another trainer ready to start their journey? I’m afraid that the three starters for this year have already been given to the mares you passed on your way in here.”

Twilight’s head hung low as she heard that, sadness clearly written across her face.

“But....” Oak continued, “I do happen to have a rather curious Pokémon that might be just the partner for you!”

Twilight’s face immediately shot up in hope. Maybe she could achieve her dreams this year after all...

“Though I must warn you, I’ve never seen anything like him before, so there’s no telling how he might act on your journey.”

Taking a Pokeball out of a drawer in one of the desks in the room, Oak tossed it to the ground and red energy bunched up around it before coalescing into a beam and hitting the ground right in front of the ball.

Ren walked up to the booth, gazing at the wares with great curiosity.

Sure, he might’ve had a weird hallucination the last time he almost bought something there, but the merchandise was still really cool. The ‘Merchant’ was still creepy, though.

“Ah, good day sir! And what would you like to buy from here?” The Merchant said, his unseen grin obvious in his voice.

Looking over the items, Ren shrugged and pointed to an Arc Reactor and a Pokeball.

“I’ll take those two things, if you please.”

“Hmm... I can understand the Arc Reactor, but why the Pokeball?” He asked.

“Eh, I like the games and haven’t really gotten much stuff for it in a while, so, why not get it now?” He shrugged nonchalantly at the impulse buy.

“Well who am I to complain? It’s more business for me...” He said while retrieving the items. “That’ll be... Forty dollars.”

Ren held the shock from showing on his face. That cheap for two pieces that looked so authentic? The arc reactor even looked like it was actually made of metal!

With a small grin, he handed over two twenties and took the items before walking off. He idly pressed the button on the Pokeball, wondering if it would do anything.

And with a blinding red light, his world turned to darkness.

With another red light, sight came back to Ren’s world. It was still dark, though...

All of a sudden, what looked like blue holograms popped up in his vision, as well as an oval of color that showed an image of a very cartoony world.

Turning his head, he realized he was in said world.

“What the-?!”

“Wow! What kind of Pokémon is he, Professor?” A female voice asked.

Turning, Ren saw... Twilight Sparkle?

Wait... Huh?

“As far as I can tell, it’s a Steel and Fighting type Pokémon that’s apparently called a ‘Stark’” This new voice belonged to a grey horse a little to Ren’s left, who was, of all things, wearing a red shirt with a lab coat. “He was sent to me by Merchant Stall over in Griffonstone. I myself am curious as to how he was procured...”

“Excuse me, but... What’s going on?” Ren said before they could continue.

They both looked up at him, Twilight with a slight frown and the professor with an easygoing grin.

“‘Stark Stark’ to you too, buddy.” The professor said to Ren.

...Wait, ‘Stark Stark?’

“Do you think he likes me, Professor Oak?”

“I’m certain if he doesn’t yet, he’ll grow to like you as you go on your journey. There’s nothing like a good battle to strengthen the bond between Pokémon and trainer!” Professor Oak expressed with a smile. “Go ahead and introduce yourself, for now.”

Twilight nervously walked up and stuck a hoof out to Ren.

“Uh, hi! I’m Twilight Sparkle, and it looks like I’m going to be your Pokémon trainer!”

Ren just stood there, staring stupidly at Twilight for what felt like an uncomfortable amount of time. Her tightening smile finally kicked him into action, and he put his own fist to her hoof in an impromptu fist/hoof bump.

“I, uh, hope you’ll... Train me well?” Ren uncertainly replied. This was honestly getting really weird. Almost as weird as his previous hallucination about My Little Pony.

“You should put him back in his Pokeball before leaving,” Oak said, “It’s going to be a while before you get to the first town.”

Twilight grinned and nodded. “Okay, professor!” She turned to Ren, holding out the Pokeball. “Stark, return!”

And with another flash of red, his world, annoyingly, went dark once again.

“Let’s see... Oak said there should be some good Pokémon to start off with around here...” Twilight muttered to herself, wandering through a field on Route One.

She checked her Pokédex once again, still on the page with her Stark’s information.

Name: Stark
Species: Stark
Level: 7
Pokémon type: Steel/Fighting
Species information: Unknown
Move-list: Charge Beam, Dynamic Punch, Meteor Mash, Fly,

She was honestly surprised by that last one. There weren’t many Pokémon that weren’t flying types who could fly.

Ghost types excluded, of course.

Whatever the case, Twilight was still going to do her best while working with her new Pokémon, and she wouldn’t let a seemingly out of place move stop her from becoming a Pokémon Professor!

As she solidified her views even more, she heard some rustling in the bushes to her left, and, glancing up, she saw a Pidgey fly out of them straight at her, which she barely dodged.

Twilight grinned confidently and plucked a Pokéball out of her saddlebag with her magic and threw it out in front of the Pidgey.

With another red flash, color returned to Ren’s world. The first thing he saw was that he was most definitely not in the same place as before, with this new location seeming more like a forest or a field.

Secondly, there was a Pidgey directly in front of his oval of vision. A fricking real Pidgey.

“Stark, use Dynamic Punch!” He heard Twilight shout from somewhere, and suddenly a display appeared in his field of view, showing him how to do the action.

Still confused, Ren just shrugged off any concerns and followed the instructions, punching the bird in front of him.

The Pidgey was hit back a few feet and flapped confusedly for a bit before steadying out and glaring at Ren. It’s right wing turned a steely color, and it flew at high speed... Straight into the ground.

“It’s confused, awesome!” He heard Twilight say again, “Go, Pokéball!”

A Pokéball flew from behind him and hit the Pidgey straight on the head, and the bird practically burst into red light that was quickly sucked into the orb, which landed on the ground. True to form for Pokémon games, it shook three times before a loud click sounded out.

Grinning from ear to ear, Twilight walked forward from his right and picked up the Pokéball in her magic. “Yes, I caught a Pidgey!”

Ren could only stare in further confusion at the sight of a floating Pokéball next to a grinning purple unicorn. Just what kind of weird drug trip was he on?

Twilight grinned from ear to ear as she threw out the Pokéball containing her new Pokémon, letting loose her new companion.

With a flash of red light, a Pidgey formed into the world next to the Stark she started with.

“Pidge... Pidge pidgey?” The bird cried out in confusion.

“Hi!” Twilight said, bending down to eye level with it, “I’m Twilight Sparkle! I’m your new trainer!”

The Pidgey eyed her up and down for a few seconds, before nodding in approval. It flew up and landed on Twilight’s head, giving a loud “Pidge!” of approval.

“I’m sure we’re going to work great, together!”

“Stark stark.... Stark stark stark stark stark stark stark stark stark....”

Glancing over to her other Pokémon, Twilight just looked at him in confusion.

“I still have no clue what you’re saying... I wonder if Professor Maple has come up with a translation spell, yet...?” She muttered idly to herself, before shrugging off the thoughts. “Oh well, there’s quite a ways before we see them. Right now, we need to get moving! Stark, Return!”

Walking further through the forest, Twilight spotted something blue peeking out of the top of the grass, and getting closer, she saw it was a-

“WOBBUFFET!”

With a meep of surprise she twisted around to see that, standing behind her, there was indeed a Wobbuffet.

Acting on instinct, she threw out the first Pokéball she gripped her magic on, and with a flash of red light, Pidgey coalesced into being on the field.

“Pidgey! Use Steel Wing!” She called out.

It’s wings turning a silvery sheen, the bird dive-bombed the blue Pokémon, it’s wing hitting it back a few feet.

“Wobbuffet!” It cried out before a blue glow surrounded its body a moment later.

Narrowing her eyes, Twilight gave another command, “Pidgey, use Gust!”

“Pidge!!” Flapping its wings quickly, the Pidgey let loose a small tornado of wind in the direction of Wobbuffet... Only for it to turn around and come right back at the Flying Type.

“No, Pidgey!” Twilight cried out. “Great, Wobbuffet used Mirror Move...”

Glaring at Wobbuffet again, she didn’t notice the swirling wind looping around until she was in the midst of, turning her whole world into a spinning mess.

Without much grace, the wind died down, dropping her onto the ground in a daze as the Wobbuffet let loose a series of chuckles while her Pidgey looked on in concern.

“Abub, uh, muggle dee dum...” The gibberish fell out of her mouth as she saw stars in her vision. Collecting her wits, she gave her head a quick shake, getting her four hooves back under her.

Glaring at the Wobbuffet, she gave an annoyed huff. “So, you like to play dirty, huh?” I need to end this quick, Pidgey can’t keep this up forever... “You won’t be laughing after this...”

As a glow started surrounding the Wobbuffet, Twilight grabbed the first Pokeball her magic felt and threw it at the Pokemon in front of her.

“Go, Pokeball!”

And as the Pokeball hit the Wobbuffet’s glowing form, a loud Crack! was heard, and everything turned white.

With another blinding red light, Ren found himself sitting on his bed at his home, wearing a plastic Iron Man costume.

What... What just happened?

Was that all just another dream?

Getting up and moving over to the window, he saw that the sun was still high in the sky, and with a quick grab around the costume into his pants pocket, his phone confirmed it.

No time had passed at all since this all started.

He didn’t know how it happened, or why he had a new Iron Man costume on, but he was just glad that it was all over.

With the sound of a door opening, he quickly turned to see his mom coming in with a basket of his laundry, looking surprised to see him.

“Oh, you’re back already? I didn’t hear you pull in.” She said, a little surprised.

Wait, didn’t hear him pull i- ?

Oh.

OH FU-

The Merchant sighed in disappointment as he stopped looking back in on the, once again, failed Displaced.

At least I have something new to sell. He thought with a grin, as he looked down to the Twilight and Pidgey dolls in his hands.

“I better save them for his next trip...” He muttered to himself with a grin.

Author's Note

Yeah yeah, I know, I suck.

I’ve had most of this written in my files on this site for the better part of a year.

I got bored, decided to complete it.

Hopefully, I can get help figuring out what to do next.

...Hopefully.