Gnashing teeth and eyes pointed in all directions. Non-euclidean geometries that drive the sane mad and the mad to the nearest Hayburger, but only if it's Thursday and the sky is square colored. Claws that branch off into branches that branch off into trees bearing fruit that is made of vegetables. All this and 57.3 more things wrong with reality conglomerated in a single, eldritch mass that simultaneously oozed and did not ooze red glass floated in the sky above ponyville.
At this point, nopony even cared, as this was no different than last week's fiasco when somepony pointed out applejack is orange-colored. To the ponies atop Castle Friendship, though, this was a time for action! As soon as one problem gets sorted out...
"What do you mean you don't know what it is, Twilight?!" Starlight Glimmer cried out desperately. "You know next to everything, and if you don't you figure it out anyway. How in Tartarus do you not know what that THING is?" She pointed her hoof at the creature, causing it to menacingly roll over while not moving. Starlight did her best to not think about how that worked.
"I don't know! I've read every book in the library, twice, and there is nothing on it!" Twilight called back from her emergency encyclopedia stash. "The only logical explanation is that it's never been seen in recorded history! Starswirl, you were around hundreds of years ago, right? Have you ever seen anything like that?" She pleaded, while the creature shot frozen fireballs down into the fountain below it. The ponies in the marketplace paid no attention to this, and continued shopping. Again, nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
Starswirl the Bearded, mentor to the princesses and founder of ten different schools of magic, simply shook his head and wandered off, mumbling to himself about how he needed a drink or fifty. Twilight desperately turned her gaze to Princess Celestia, hoping against hope that she would have some tiny nugget of information to help them defeat... whatever that thing was. Her hopes were smashed into tiny little pieces as her lifelong mentor and friend shook her head solemnly.
"I am sorry, Twilight. I do not know what that thing is." Celestia, THE Celestia, was stumped. "If that thing is not in a single book you have read, then it is safe to say that it has never been written down, in recorded history, ever. And if neither myself or Starswirl has seen it in our time on this planet, it must not be from this world. There is one possibility, however. I will be right back, please do not do anything rash." And in a flash of light, Celestia was gone.
High atop the tower of the moon in Canterlot castle, one word echoed for all present to hear. "No."
"Sister, you haven't even looked out the window. If that thing came from the dream realm, it could cause unprecedented levels of-"
"No. It did not come from the dream realm," Luna shot back from under her Power Poniestm bedspread. "I would have known if something got out. Now, if you would be so kind as to get out of my room and not wake me until I have to raise the moon, I will not eat all the cake you were planning on having for dessert tonight." She pulled the covers around herself tighter than ever, indicating she had seen enough annoyance for this week.
"Sister-"
"I SAID OUT!!!" The Royal Canterlot Voice sent Celestia flying out the window and barreling towards Ponyville. Luna simply magicked the window fixed and closed the shades before snuggling up to her Daring Dotm plushie and trying to fall back to sleep.
Back in the map room of Castle Friendship, Celestia unceremoniously crash-landed on the balcony and got to her hooves, only to to see that the entire town was on fire, Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer were looking very embarrassed, the giant eldritch thing was still floating above the town (Somehow producing bubbles in the shape of triangular octagons), and the ponies in the town below were still milling about as if nothing was happening.
"Twilight. Starlight," Celestia deadpanned.
The two ponies sheepishly grinned. "Yeeeeessss?" Twilight hesitantly inquired.
"What did you two do?
Both ponies looked down in shame. Starlight broke the silence. "...Something rash..."
"And what did I specifically tell you two not to do?"
"...Something rash..."
Celestia sighed."I suppose it can't be undone, now. But I expect you two to clean up the town once this is over, okay?" Upon receiving a nod, she continued. "As you may have heard, and let's be honest, I think the Dragon Kingdom heard my sister, not only does she not know what that creature is either, but she also refuses to help. So, I am afraid we have no other option but to call in that favor you are owed, Twilight."
Twilight gasped. "You can't be serious! You think that would help? If you didn't know what that thing outside is, how would he know?!"
Starlight interrupted her mentor. "Honestly, it may be our only hope right now. Any port in a storm."
"Fine," Twilight huffed in annoyance. She reached into one of her emergency books and pulled out a slip of paper reading 'gud 4 won favor. -Dizcord'. As she tore it up, the pieces flew upwards and formed into a very familiar draconequus.
"Why, hello Sprinkles and Glitter! How can I help you today," Discord asked, twirling about in the air. "And make it quick, I cannot find my pet noog-noog Fluffy anywhere. I fear he may have yodeled off again, so I have to find him before his bedtime!"
"Monster. Outside. Fix it." Twilight had officially run out of patience. She pointed at the balcony, where the creature was still visible. This time performing 'Swan Lake' with nothing but a Kazoo made of smaller, swan-shaped kazoos.
Discord grumbled about Twilight being no fun, but his mood quickly changed as he stepped outside and saw the creature. With four words, he finally drove Twilight over the edge and into unconsciousness:
"Hey! You found Fluffy!"
Author's Note
My brain is so weird.
This comment is in Haiku.
Why? Because: Why not?
