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                     The Foal's Mantra                     
                   -by ClandestineWing-                    
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               Chapter 2: A Duck And A Duck                
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Chapter 2: A Duck And A Duck
At the moment, it felt like sleep was the only escape. But there were no dreams; each descent into subconsciousness lasted for what seemed like a minute. And every awakening dragged the stallion back into a nightmare: The hard floor, the air dampened and cooled by the night, faint moonlight through the cracks in the walls that only allowed him to gaze upon the very nature of his predicament, and the rattling of his chains. The only warmth he felt encompassed his groin by the flanks, and grew warmer only briefly. He would soon forget soaking the pant the next time he woke, and would find it become lukewarm.
"Good morning, little one." Morning at last… At last? He didn’t know for sure. A magical grasp elicited squishing in tandems with crinkles. "I really expected your diapee to be all full, but just soggy works too." Mind felt the presence gently flipping him onto his back, the chains coming undone, and his diaper being taken off. After being relieved of the soggy padding, he was wiped down; the coldness of the wipes was now nothing.
But even after the change, he found that he couldn't lower his hooves. Mind suddenly felt a sharp stinging blow to his naked rear end, his scream was muffled by the white pacifier gag in his mouth. He shouted an angry burst of words that wouldn’t even make it past the guard.
"I didn't understand a word of your foal babble, but I'll assume it was 'spank me harder, Master'." Mind shook his head vigorously only to have an even sharper blow strike his plotcheek. "We're doing this every day, just so you know." Smack! "One hundred spanks every day until you're good again. And before you try to get brilliant ideas, bad behavior only gets you extra spanks that don’t count toward the spank count. That's not too much for the little foal to understand, right?" The breathless stallion shook his head. "Good." Smack! Despite the coerced will to get it over with, he writhed at every spank, and dreaded the possibility of bruises being left behind. He was actually afraid the hairbrush was going to break. And he couldn't put his hoof on why he deserved all this. In fact, he couldn’t even recall anything before his first day in this dungeon, or at least anything recent.
His sore crinkling butt was soon placed into his high chair. After being given his breakfast of mushy carrots, he was cradled for a bottle of prune juice. The dark bitter liquid didn’t even have time to work itself into his system before Mind felt another urge in his lower stomach creep up on him, which he fought as hard as he could to hold in, but nature defeated him, and his faltering weighed down his diaper, causing gravity to tug at the waist, and the shadow didn’t even take the bottle from his lips.
"It seems you've just made room for another bottle~" Mind covered his eyes with his hooves and blushed in utter shame. Being coerced into soiling himself and being changed subsequently; of all freedoms this situation could have deprived him of. How long would he have to keep doing this for?
The rest of the day went on like the first one; chained to the floor with a silicone teat resting in his jaw for most of it, only taken out during his regular mushy carrot feedings. He did mess himself again shortly after dinner, which instilled due teasing from the shadow.
"What a good baby. Twice in one day~ Get used to it, because that's what babies do." And what else could Mind do? Even if he got the diaper off, he'd probably be put back into it with his rear end reddened even further. Surviving this trial was really about taking the lesser of two evils. If this was what he had to do, so be it. But even wetting his diapers wasn't getting off without the shadow making fun of him for it and further reminding him that he's just a little baby. Every single time he wet. A helpless little foal. No- An adult being treated like one.
"As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal." He would be told that night. He heard that exact sentence the night before. It didn’t feel like some form of hypnotism, and the diapers he was being put in, albeit they were unbelievably big and thick, they weren't enchanted at all.
The next few days went on like the previous ones; spankings, feedings, diaper changes, solitude, and "as you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal" being said to him every night.
What day was it? How many days have passed? Six? The mundanity and multiple times he fell asleep mid-day fogged his perception on time; made it utterly insignificant, even. Six felt right, though. He was awakened gently by the shadow and told he was ready for the next step. The cuffs around his hooves came off and clunked as they hit the stone floor. Mind would soon be taken into the flaxen light that ebbed in from the dungeon hallway. The shadow's grip cradled him and felt his soaking wet diaper. By this point, Mind had already grown accustomed to wetting and messing when the calling came.
Down the hall, Mind was carried up the spiral staircase that climbed higher from the door at which the shadow’s magic encased the knob in a pink aura and pushed open. Past it, a velvet red carpet lay trailed into what was a short hall with a corridor to the left and a corner to the right that turned into a hallway decorated with white vases on side tables, and the walls were adorned with artwork that he couldn’t make out in time, as he was very swiftly taken into another room at the beginning of the hall. In that brief glance, he was able to make out what seemed to be a family crest painted on the vases, and possibly in a couple of pieces of art; a red tattered heart engulfed in a purple flame with a paintbrush crossing it.
He was taken into a huge nursery. Baby blue walls contrasted with the white ceiling and tan carpeted floor. A singular horizontal stripe of babyish decals in different shades of blue and gray streaked across all the walls. The decals bore little dragons, stars, and baby blocks. A giant ash gray crib sat in the room with azure blue sheets and an azure blue comforter, and a mobile that matched the decals hung above it. There was also, of course, a matching changing table, also respectively sized for an adult, which Mind was laid upon.
"I guess now you're ready to see what I really look like." The dark clouds shrouding the shadow evanesced, revealing itself to be a unicorn with a pink coat, baby pink specifically, a magenta mane and tail with a fuschia streak coursing through them, and a cutie mark on both of her flanks that depicted a baby's bottle crossing a lightly tattered red heart in a purple flame. Her shining marigold eyes remained unchanged. "Now, let's get the foal all ready for the day." The unicorn, with her horn glowing pink, peeled off the tapes and stripped Mind of his soggy padding. He felt a gentle draft against his moist reddened rear end. His lower hooves were then put together and raised skyward. Why this caught him by surprise, he didn't know; he only stared up at the ceiling, trying to scream through his pacifier gag as the mare’s magikinesis implemented his hundred due spanks.
A flurry of smacks thundered in tandem to the lightning striking his plotcheeks. He was placed in a fresh diaper shortly following the storm of agony. The pink mare coated her hooves in foal powder, then preceded to rub it onto his plot and gently massage it into his coat. This diaper was just as thick as the ones he was being put into before, only this one bore different designs; a change of pace from the moons and stars. On the diaper were prints of the mare's cutie mark; multiple on the landing zone and one giant print on the rear.
"You like the prints? I had these diapers custom-made."
The unicorn's magic cradled him. Reaching the hall, she turned toward the way they came from. Mind watched the door to the dungeon draw closer to him then obscure from his sight when he gently floated past the corridor. The mare hummed cheerfully as her magic carried Mind before her into a kitchen. He was strapped into a high chair once more, his pacifier gag was taken away, and the traditional bowl of mushy carrots and bottle of prune juice sat before him. His hooves were also left unbound. The routine itself didn't really change much, though.
"Open up the tunnel for the train!" The unicorn cooed at him. Mind only kept eating like he did back in the dungeon; without much enthusiasm to her feeding time antics.
There was something different in the air, though. From the dark cold dungeon, the fancy hallway, and the oversized nursery, the simplicity of the kitchen stuck out; a small cooking area with the sink, oven, and dishwasher all condensed into a small space, leaving room for a small dining area and the high chair in which he sat. Mind was praised for belching in response to the mare’s light magikinetic pats on his back and then taken right back to the nursery.
"You know," said the unicorn, "you've been pretty good through this whole thing, so I'm going to give you a shirt that shows it." And just like that, Mind was slipped into a baby blue t-shirt that read "Good boys need spanking too" with a spanking paddle on it. A baby blue pacifier with a star on the button then telekinetically floated back into his mouth and clipped to his shirt by a baby blue strap, absent the gag strap. The mare gave him freedom to spit out the pacifier whenever he got tired of it, which he was, but in some stroke of thought didn’t want to seem too eager to. Probably just so it didn’t tug on his shirt while he was lifted elsewhere.
The blushing stallion was carried by magic again into a living room with a television screen playing an educational show for him. Mind’s rear end made a crinkle as it was let down to the floor. The mare remarked that she put on his favorite show for him. She wasn't wrong; it was actually his favorite show, back when he was an actual foal. The show followed the adventures of a tan stallion wearing a horizontally striped green sweater and his little blue dragon friend who left her scaly paw prints on objects as hints to what their adventure was that day. The stallion was hilariously clueless and needed help every single step of the way, encouraging participation from the viewers. Dragon Paws was the name of the show.
She took a seat on the couch while her red-maned “foal” sat on the floor lazily in front of the screen. His pacifier fell out of his mouth and hung off his shirt by the clip, and he was only half paying attention to the program before him, rolling his eyes at some times too. His mouth free of a pacifier felt more different than relieving; it was only natural he’d grow accustomed to it after having it in his mouth constantly for so long.
The screen started playing the second episode of Dragon Paws when Mind felt the familiar urge; the calling from breakfast. He was astonished he had to go already. Well, he wasn't in a dungeon anymore, so he decided to test his limits and try holding it in. The urge grew stronger fast, the diapered stallion still trying his hardest to fight it. It didn’t take long for the need to force a squirm out of him, a squirm which he prayed the mare on the couch wouldn’t notice.
"I know you need to go, so just go you silly foal." Said the unicorn.
With rosy cheeks to show for reluctance to say it, Mind mumbled out, "potty" to her.
"Potty?" she replied with a raised brow, then shook her head. "No, you're too little for the potty and you won't be ready for a long time, so stop holding it in." Despite her orders, Mind still kept trying to supress the pressing urges. Suddenly, he felt himself raise to his hooves and his tail lift up from a magical grip, and the same grip slipped through his diaper and spread his plot cheeks apart. "Try holding it in now if you think you're such a big boy." He instinctively tried to run, but found his hooves bound to the floor with magic. He was helpless to fill his diaper without much more delay than that. Despite his wiggling about, he felt himself give in helplessly to the act, and he blushed a fiery red when he felt such act reserve its place in his diaper. To add insult to injury, the mare pressed her hoof against his rear end, forcing a warm mush to press and spread against his plot. There was no escaping the very thought of doing what he did now. "That's what I thought. What a foal." Her tone in voice had grown very firm.
The unicorn carried him with her magic back into the nursery, and he was lay on the changing table. The mare relieved him of his shirt and his heavily soiled garment, removing the pacifier from the shirt clip in the process, and cleaned up his area rather impatiently. He was taken out of the nursery naked and was floated toward the corridor, and the door to the spiral staircase opened again. Still rather embarrassed by having a dirty diaper slammed against his plot, he didn’t squirm or protest knowing fully well he was being taken back to the dungeon, nor could he really afford a thought as to what he was in for, other than the fact that it was nothing good.
Mind was chained to the floor and the white pacifier was placed back into his mouth and strapped to the back of his head. The mare placed the fresh diaper, still folded, at his side, then lifted his lower hooves toward the ceiling with her magic and prepared the hair brush. Her irises wore a fierce scarlet. "Your heart's not sincerely open to my care! Bad colt!" And she gave him the worst spanking out of all the others. Mind's screams were still muffled by the gag and he was even on the verge of crying. He received more swats than he cared to count, nor did the pain allow him to. He was diapered swiftly and the door to the dungeon slammed loudly.
Mind just lay on the floor, still trying to recover from the harsh strikes on his rear end, but he was also shaken by what she said. Obviously, he figured he tested the boundaries too much, but guilt rest itself within him. Even though he suffered a torrent of traditional morning spanks, she was trying to be motherly. And the nursery, the kitchen, the living room, they were all much more comfortable than the room he had been returned to. He surmised it was the best course of action to be a "good little foal" for her. Being treated like a baby was definitely much more comforting than being treated like a prisoner.
He desperately waited for her to return, pretending to himself that he didn't care about her. But as time passed, he grew more and more anxious to see her again, and he already missed the warm inviting rooms. And the more he thought about it, the more miserable he became lying there in the dungeon. He sniffled, then tilted his head to see tear stains on the floor. He gave an accidental suckle to the pacifier gag, finding it to actually be tempting. He suckled again and again. The continuous suckles, his weary eyelids, and his dreaded loneliness carried him off to sleep.
A seemingly sleepless night passed before the unicorn came back into the dungeon. Mind's tears were pooled on the floor and his diaper was tinted a faint yellow at the tip of his groin. He stared at her with his vacant red eyes without taking his head off the floor. She walked around to his rear and gently pressed her hoof on the back of his diaper.
"Just a little wet, but this thing can last you much longer." Pink hooves came into his sight once more. "Ready to try this again? Are you ready to be a good little foal for your master?" He got up and sniffled in response, keeping his head lowered. "I won't ask again, little one." Her tone sent a spark that forced him to stare up at her and nod.
Mind was picked up by the unicorn's magic and carried back into the nursery once more to be placed on the changing table. Her pink magic aura enveloped the tapes to peel them off and strip him of the damp diaper. She then gently turned him onto his belly and started wiping his rear end. Obfuscation struck him; she said the diaper could last him much longer. And without warning, Mind felt a sharp stinging pain on his plot accompanied by the smack of the hair brush. He somehow forgot about the morning spankings again, despite them being given to him punctually.
She thoroughly swatted down his rump from the cheeks to the sit spots, making the white coat of his diaper area a painful-looking pink, and stifled screams accompanied each swat. After the hundredth strike, she put down the hair brush and slammed her hoof into each cheek.
"And two hoofie marks because I love my little colt." Mind was gently turned onto his back, revealing tears streaming from his eyes. The mare’s marigold eyes maintained her stern gaze and gave no sign of weakness to his crying, but there was a conscientious nag in the back of his head indicating otherwise. Mind was certain that her mask could’ve easily fooled anypony else.
Quickly, Mind felt the powdering of his tushy, and this time, it was an abhorrent pink diaper that was taped around his waist.
"You get a pink diaper for being naughty yesterday. And while we're at it." Presented before Mind was a plain pink t-shirt that read "Naughty" in black bold letters at the top. Turning to the back, it read "Spanks Needed Here" with an arrow pointing down as well. The mare then giggled to herself. “Silly me,” she said, “little foals can’t read.”
He was slipped into the floating shirt while the mare “deciphered” it for him. Mind blushed completely red at the very thought of him wearing this stuff, let alone looking down at himself in such a getup; the shirt wasn't long enough to cover even an inch of the diaper. His vision was still blurred slightly by tear remnants.
The unicorn sat down on the living room couch and lowered the cradled Mind into her embrace. After removing the pacifier gag, she lifted a bottle up to his lips, which had a different drink inside it this time. Cranberry juice; better taste, same effects. Still cradling him with her hooves, she held up the bottle with her magic while simultaneously spreading the aura across a tissue to wipe his tears away. Mind was feeling new things at this bottle feeding; the first among them was the more appetizing and familiar piquant taste of the beverage. The second was the fact that he wasn't annoyed from being treated like a baby this time. He felt strangely safe in the mare's embrace, the same snuggling embrace from the hooves that gave the savage spankings. The suckling on the bottle assisted in this feeling as well. It all felt kind of right, actually. His red eyes gazed up at the mare, watching her smirk change into a genuine smile. He couldn’t keep himself from closing his eyes.
Mind slipped into a comfortable darkness that he felt himself jerk away from when a gust flew down his throat. Wind screeched as it passed through the silicone teat. He opened his eyes and looked down to find the bottle before him completely drained. The mare cooed at him, remarking that he was much better behaved before preparing him for breakfast.
The stallion stared down at the orange goop in the bowl that sat before him in between his fronts hooves, leaning free on the tray placed over his lap. the tray was placed over him. He was cued by his master to open his mouth for the "birdy to land in the nest". Not that this made the mush taste any better, but the current moment given did help him enjoy the games a bit more, to the mare’s delight. He watched the pink unicorn’s horn glow to carry the bowl toward the sink, while feeling light pats on his back at the same time. Soon, he responded to these pats with a belch.
Mind was sat in front of the television with Dragon Paws running yet again. Mantra clipped a pink pacifier to his matching shirt and he had a few baby toys laid out before him; a ring stacker, a bead maze, and a rattle. He held the pacifier in his hoof and gave a few bites in the air before placing it in his mouth and suckling on it of his own volition. His eyelids slightly lowered, and he grew more relaxed as he suckled. He thought at first he would've been sick of sucking on a pacifier, but in retrospect it was the gag that he was sick of.
The pacifier only brought comfort this time. He gazed at the television, finding himself entranced by the adventures of the young blue dragon. Before yesterday, he hadn't watched Dragon Paws since he was a little kid. He actually remembered each line from the episode he was watching by heart with how much he watched it as a kid. The sense of familiarity gave way to joy. His master just stayed sitting on the couch behind him, watching her little foal do as he pleased. Mind caught himself giggling at the show at one point and a red bloom spread across his face. He turned toward the unicorn expecting to be teased. She was sprawled on the couch with a book floating before her shining horn. She took a mere glance at Mind with a sincere smile then back to her book. It was all black with nothing on its cover or spine. He was genuinely curious to find out what she was reading, but the interest was doused as soon as the second clue was found. What game could that little dragon want to play with a duck and a duck?
"You know, you can answer these questions, sweetie." The unicorn teased to him. Her response was the pink pacifier in his mouth turning into view with a blush that matched and a red iris that was as far to his right as it can go. "In fact, you should be answering these questions. What do you think she would want to play with a duck and a duck?"
"What?" Mind said with the pacifier lisping every single word he spoke. "Duck, Duck, Goose, obviously."
"Now now, Mind" she replied, shaking her head, "it isn't certain until the last clue is found."
"But it's not hard to-"
"Maybe you should let them figure it out on their own. It builds character if you figure things out without help." A smile creeped out from behind his pacifier, the stallion finding such an astute thought about an educational show amusing. "So, for instance, little one," she said, "what does it take for a little baby to get out of his naughty clothes?" Mind continued to stare at the mare blankly, remembering the pink shirt that stopped right above the waist of the thick girly diaper slapped around his flanks. He blushed even further at the very thought of the arrow on his shirt pointing straight to his butt. "Looks like the little baby has to find some more clues to figure it out."
For the rest of the episode, the mare encouraged her "foal" to answer each and every question, getting appropriate responses out of Mind. Eventually, she didn't have to remind him and he started answering the questions of his own accord, and soon after, with enthusiasm. Mind was still blushing every time he did it, but it was getting easier every time he did it.
Mind waved his hoof good-bye once the credits appeared on screen. He then slowly stood to his hooves. He hadn't actually walked around free in quite some time, albeit he did have a very noticeable waddle in his steps, his hind hooves spread wide by the bulky pink padding. A door faintly cracked open caught his curiosity. He couldn't even get a glimpse of what lay beyond without being pulled back in front of the couch by the unicorn's magic.
"Stay in Master's line of sight, Mind." She said without taking her eyes away from her book. "And that's the only warning you're going to get." That exact sentence sent a jolt right through his heart and he could practically already feel his plot being spanked again. So much for exploring. He waddled toward the unicorn on the couch and let his pacifier drop, still hanging on his shirt collar, to speak.
"What're you reading?"
"Try again, little one," the unicorn said, not taking her gaze from the book, "make sure you use your manners." Mind tried his hardest not to sigh and cringe at what he was about to do.
"What awe you weading, Mastew?" The words didn't come out as bad as he thought they would. The unicorn only giggled at his question, forcing his face to flush pink once more.
"Aw, that's nothing you need to concern yourself with, little one." She reached down with her hoof and affectionately petted Mind's mane. "Sit down and watch some more Dragon Paws." The unicorn then looked up at the television in response to a silent confusion from her charge. "Oh, silly me." She giggled to herself. "Dragon Paws is over. I suppose I could set you up with another episode from the DVR, but only good babies are allowed that." The mare urged him to hold still, and Mind then felt his lower hooves being lifted from the floor and his body turned completely around. Mind felt a hoof press into his rump, the thick pink undergarment made a loud crinkle on contact. Mind's face just continued to glow the same shade of pink as his diaper. "Clean and dry." Her magic grip loosened and she gave him a firm push on his rump, encouraging him to walk. "Go play~" Mind obediently walked to the bead maze next to the television, mumbling that he was a good boy. "What was that, little one?" The unicorn said as her ears pricked up.
"Can I be a good boy pwease, Mastew?" Mind said, still trying not to squirm at the dialect he was using.
"Can you?" The unicorn replied with a giggle. As annoyed as Mind wanted to be at such an “old stallion” thing to say, he was only left in suspense. "I think you can; you've been good before, but you have a lot to make up for from yesterday. I suppose I could give you more chances to earn back your good status if that's what the foal really wants." Mind nodded, and he couldn't help but break out a light smile even from behind an apprehensive blush. "Does the baby want to be good for Master?" Mind nodded again. "Alright, then. Close your eyes and sit still while I get a surprise ready for you, but no peeking, okay?"
Mind closed his eyes and covered them with his hooves. He heard a little bit of rattling, but dared not to peek. If he was going to be a "good boy", he was going to have to play exactly by her rules.
This mare was certainly a task to keep her composure maintained; one would find her motherly nature to be smothering, although very inviting, but she was also incredibly strict and her punishments were parallel to her soft caregiving. No, she wasn't strict; quite truthfully, it felt like she could snap at any moment. If Mind were to pronounce even one of his r’s properly, she might have put him back in the dungeon with a straitjacket.
But there was something else Mind was feeling but couldn't quite wrap his thoughts around in his current state: Did she love him deep down? Not just as a mother would love her child, but was she in love with him? She did say that she loved him, she doesn't ever talk to him like he was a criminal, she's been making sure he's nourished, and she has been changing messy diapers, albeit certainly for her own twisted desires, but it was still something one would have to really dedicate to to keep the act alive. Not just that, but the last time she put Mind in the dungeon, he couldn’t shake this nagging feeling like it was hurting her. All of these were thoughts that should've went through Mind's head longer than they did, or even through the head of anyone with common sense, but instead, in his babyish facade, he just thought "be a good boy for Master and she'll take you out of the pink clothes."
"Okay, open your eyes, little one." Mind took his hooves from his eyes and opened them to see an adult-sized baby jumper just now set up. It was pink with aged yellow straps attaching it to the ceiling, and the name "Poly" was stitched into the outer groin of it. Mind felt himself being lifted by magic and settled into the jumper upright. He was lightly dropped in with a bounce, and he wiggled his hooves trying to touch the floor. The unicorn adjusted the straps accordingly. "There we go~ I haven't had a chance to get you your own, but babies do need their exercise~"
There was then the sound of a doorbell ringing. The unicorn helped the pink pacifier back into Mind's mouth with her magic and pet him on the head. "I'll be back, little one. Be a good boy and stay in your bouncy bounce." The way she gave the jumper that name with no change in tone was admirably chilling. The mare opened the door and slipped through without leaving Mind any idea of what was on the outside. While he was alone in the living room, he gave the jumper a chance. With the first jump, he lifted his lower hooves, a crinkle sounded with the first bounce and every bounce after that. Bouncing around like a little kid hadn't felt so great to him in a long time. It's just a natural response one would make from the joy of motion.
"Good morning, Mantra~" Mind heard a different female voice say clearly, despite the front door being barely ajar. Was the front door really so close? Not that he could see for himself, being trapped within the jumper itself and being trapped in his own joy of it.
"Morning? It's quarter to noon." The unicorn replied. The stallion was really good with voices, so it wasn't a struggle for him to keep up with a conversation between the two mares by hearing alone. He kept bouncing lightly to help him hear the conversation, but he didn't want to stop completely.
"The time still ends in 'A.M.' therefore it's morning. So how are things going with-" and that's all Mind could hear until Mantra gave her a shush noise and the two mares broke into whispers.
They could've been talking about anything. Were the chances of them talking about him great? The visitor couldn't have known about him without raising question, could she? But a couple of giggles came out through the whispers, and soon they raised their voices again, revealing that she did indeed have a good idea of what was going on from the other side of the walls.
"I can't wait to see him. Anyway, no signature needed, I just wanted to say 'hello'. Have a wonderful day, Mantra."
The unicorn returned the farewell, pulled a large box inside, and shut the door. As she returned to the living room, Mind tried to catch as much of a look at the box as he could get, but couldn't even see her name on the package. With pacifier lisps, baby talk, and formalities, Mind asked her who was at the door and what was in the box.
"Oh, it was the mailmare, you silly colt. She was dropping off your diapees." She giggled as she carried the box, by magic, to the nursery. "Master will be back in just a second, little one."
He was alone in the living room again. He bounced around a couple of times before getting the very familiar urge once again. The "exercise" Mantra told him about was specifically for this. The urge subsided quickly, though, fortunately for him. He wasn't in a hurry to dirty his diaper, but he shouldn't try to hold it in; that's what put him in pink diapers in the first place, so he just needed to do what a foal needs to do and when to do it. His thoughts snapped back to the condition; say what a foal would say, do what a foal would do, foal, foal, foal. Act like a foal. No, be a foal.
Mind got a light bulb in his little head as the baby thoughts kept swirling. Maybe, and for whatever reason, his master would be proud of him for messing, and if he gets praise for it, then a diaper change is surely to follow; a diaper change into a non-pink diaper. He found he couldn't be sitting in the jumper to do it, so he had to stand, only the tips of his lower hooves being able to touch the floor. He started to concentrate on finding the urge again and when he did, he gave it a push without shame nor regret. No feelings of disgust circled through his head at the immediate moment; getting out of his pink clothes was the main focus. With a little push, Mind heard a loud splortch and felt his diaper fill up completely almost instantly. His face flushed a really fierce pink; that sound wasn't supposed to happen.
Very soon after he did his deed, Mind realized he was feeling joy, but it soon turned out to be not his own joy, but the joy that belonged to a pink unicorn who was watching him the entire time. He covered his face with his hooves and gave a mortified groan.
"Aw, did the little baby fill up his diapee?" She said as she leaned in toward him. "I'll tell you a secret," she said to him. He tentatively lowered his hooves to look at her, his cheeks still plastered hot pink. "It's not the first time I'm going to hear your plot go 'blort~'" A magikinetic grip then quickly swept Mind’s hind hooves forward and the bouncer sustained him by his rear end, forcing the mess in his diaper to squish around in between the bouncer and his rump multiple times. She turned her gaze toward the fancy clock on the wall. "At tippy top time, we'll have lunch." Mantra lay back on the couch only to rest. Mind didn't even notice before there was a clock there, and it was ten minutes until noon. "Play in your bouncy bounce until then."
He just swung around in it; he wasn't too keen on bouncing around in a messy diaper. But he gave a short bounce tentatively, and then another. Finding the mushing easier to bare, Mind decided not to care about the contents of his diaper, and kept bouncing around until the time came. It’s not like he was the one who was going to clean it up.
Lunch went by as usual, saved for Mind having to sit in a certain other mush while he downed the orange goop from his bowl.
"Well, now it's nap time~" Mantra said with a glowing horn to carry Mind into the nursery. "Unless the baby needs a certain something." Mind was wondering when she was going to bring that up, but he blushed in response to her words. "Does the little stinkybutt need his diapee changed?" Mantra teased as she pet him on the head while using her magic to press against the rear of his diaper. Mind nodded, his embarrassment almost too strong to keep him from doing so. "Does the little stinkybutt know how to ask for it?"
"Uhm…" Heat from his face conducted with the rest of the stallion’s body in that instant.
"You only get one try, little one~" He knew he had to get them out, and he knew he had to keep his composure for it.
"Mastew, would you pwease change my diapee?"
"Hmmmm…" Mantra kept him in suspense as she hummed for a good few seconds. "Okay~" She said with a perky smile. "Master will change the baby's poopy diapee." Really? Of course, of course that was the word he missed.
Mantra closed the door to the nursery behind her, used her magic to slip off the pink shirt, and lay Mind on his back on the changing table. She leaned in close with a smile and remarked that he was a sweetheart, to which Mind couldn’t shake the feeling that there was an ulterior motive. She untaped the diaper with her hooves then pulled back to lift his lower legs up, then used her magic to scoop up what remained, slid the soiled garment away, taped it up into a ball, and placed it in the diaper pail. She ran multiple baby wipes through telekinetically to get his rump squeaky clean.
"And now I have to make sure my baby doesn't get a rash." Foal powder was splashed onto her hooves, then applied to his diaper area. Mind writhed in response to the cold diaper cream she smeared on after. Mind's rear end was a bright pink, and it most certainly wasn't diaper rash. Mind then heard tape being ripped off presumably from the box earlier and Mantra took out another crinkling garment, quickly unfolded it, slid it under her charge’s plot, and quickly taped him in snug.
"Pink!?" The stallion exclaimed. This diaper was just as pink as his last one, but it had violets drawn on the landing zone and groin, as well as frills on the rear of it. If there was a filly suited for this diaper, it’d be the most fillyish of fillies. And Mantra had a whole box of them.
"Yep~" the mare replied cheerfully, purposely misinterpreting the harsh tone he used. "Just for you, my little colt." She then pinched his cheek. "The same color as your naughty... Little... Stinky... Butt~" This statement kept Mind from saying anything else stupid out of his anger, and counted himself lucky to get away with that little slip.
She slipped the mortifying shirt back on then gently carried him into the crib, and covered him with the blue blankets.
"Well, I suppose you've been pretty good today, actually. I'll tell you what, when you wake up, I'll have something ready to help you prove you're a good boy. Maybe I'll take you out of pink tomorrow if you are." The tone of her "maybe" implied that she might not hold true to her word, or she might make the challenge impossible, or she might… Suckle… Suckle… "Sweet dreams, Mind." Mantra leaned into the crib, kissed him on the head, raised the drop side, and left the nursery turning the lights off. And Mind soon found his eyes closing and himself falling into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning- No, when he awoke from his nap, Mind stretched himself while still under the lax weight of the covers. He then suddenly felt his diaper become warmer. "Oh yeah, I did have to go." He thought to himself. The stream ran across his butt, but the pant did its job to wick the moisture away fast, and the color of the diaper would mask the evidence. Mask but not veil it completely. He soon forgot he was wet in the first place after a few minutes of loafing around, staring up at the motionless mobile above him. The door creeped itself open, and Mind was approached by a smiling mare.
"Did you have a nice nap?" She lowered the dropside with her glowing horn. "Oh boy," she forced his pink diaper to crinkle with her hoof, which also pressed a damp reminder into his crotch, "looks like someone's a little wet. Just a little bit." Mind looked up at her with a light blush and his pupils wide; he was still half asleep.
After a cranberry juice feeding and subsequent burping, Mantra lowered Mind onto the living room floor. She steered him toward an open toy box. "Now for that Good Boy Challenge. Put all your toys in the box neatly." The floor was littered with so many baby toys; a bead maze, a ring stacker, a rattle, balls, and toy musical instruments. Clean-up came naturally to the stallion, though; he was a very neatly organized pony, and it showed when he put the toys away.
With the floor clean and a close of the lid, Mind called out to his master and said that he was done. She came over to inspect his work and put a hoof to her chin in mild astonishment.
"My my, it's so neat. The balls have their own little corner, the instruments are laid neatly, it's perfect." She leaned in to kiss him on the head. "Gooood booooyyy~" Mind smiled genuinely, feeling happy that she was proud of him.
Mantra soon broke out paper and crayons for her baby then took a seat at the couch with a laptop. She said she had some "grown-up stuff" to take care of. Bills maybe? Mind didn't care. There was always something gripping about drawing; some kind of draw that was a magic of its own, even as an adult. Mind wasn't really good at drawing; he never really learned how to properly hold art utensils with his mouth, and keeping them between his hooves was hopeless. Despite him drawing pretty much nothing but baby scribbles, he still enjoyed it, and Mantra would peer over to check up on him, and tell him he was doing good every time, which put a little flutter in his heart. She couldn't really tell what he was trying to draw, but that wasn't important to her. But of course, she was also checking his diaper once in a while, finding it becoming more and more wet almost every time she checked. Drawing kept his thoughts occupied as he naturally let go once he got the urge to wet.
Dinner was peas and mushy carrots. Mantra claimed he "loved" peas so much she decided to give him more. Mind was a bit torn about telling her the truth; that he was faking hating peas to trick her. The decision was delicate: Keep lying to avoid potential punishment, or tell the truth to make the punishment easier? He swallowed then spoke, driven by a natural detestment toward lying.
"Mastew." Her ears pricked up and a spoonful of mush levitated in place before him, and out came the truth. "I actuawy wike peas." The stallion no longer had to put forth effort to keep himself from cringing at his dialect.
"Oh, I already know that, little one. That's exactly why I'm feeding you more~" She stuffed the spoon in his mouth. "You're not a very good actor, by the way." The spoon scooped up the last bit of mushy carrots and floated back into his mouth. "But your first din-din was just to see what you liked to eat. So, no spanks for lying, but no reward for telling the truth either." A rag was levitated toward him to with his mouth, cleaning it from a mess that Mind knew was made on purpose on the feeder’s part. "But I won't tolerate lying anymore. Does the little baby have any other slips he'd like to confess to Master?" Mind shook his head without hesitation. The mare trusted in that, untied his bib, gave him his proper burping, then carried him off.
As Mind looked down at himself cradled in her magic, he noticed his diaper was sagging pretty badly. In his own curiosity, he reached under himself and pushed on his groin upward from his rear to reveal the pink padding showing a yellow tint mixed in with the pink core at the groin. The garment felt extremely swollen and gave a loud crinklesquish sound. Upon his hooves releasing it, it sagged right back down. Gravity tugged on his waist by the heavy swinging diaper. He didn't even know he wet so much. All those little piddles tend to add up fast, evidently, especially when one's preoccupied with drawing.
Mind was carried into the room further down the hall just adjacent to the nursery. This time he was granted opportunity to admire the artwork at the end of the hall: A painting of a serene landscape where rainbows streamed downward from clouds with a massive blue mountain range overlooking it. It could’ve passed as a photograph given how fine and real the detail was; from the mid afternoon sun casting shadows through the clouds to a snowy translucent haze lingering atop the mountains. A doorway quickly came into view and then blocked further gaze at the piece.
The tile floor was enough indication to it being a bathroom; a kind of room he hadn't seen since he woke up in the dungeon. Magic turned the faucet handle and started filling up the large bath tub with warm water. Mantra then proceeded to strip Mind of his shirt and soggy diaper, the pant making a plop as it hit the floor. It didn't occur to him until now, but Mind was definitely due for a bath after spending a whole week wetting and soiling diapers in a dungeon. Well, Mantra was actually taking care of his gentle areas during diaper changes, so he didn't really have much cause to worry about there. It was mostly his mane and tail he was concerned with.
The warm water soothed him as it soaked his body. He could already feel the dirt just peel off of his coat. That didn't stop Mantra from giving him a thorough scrubbing, even on his plot and private parts. After shampooing and conditioning his mane and tail, she rinsed him off with a shower hose. Her horn glowed and the sound of a drain coming unplugged followed. Mind was shivering from the evening breeze touching his damp coat and he craved for what little warmth the towel drying him gave. Mantra swiftly brushed his his mane and his tail, while assiduously taking gentle strokes of the brush from the tips first, then to the base. The hairbrush used was the same make as the other but was pink; of course she had a hairbrush separate specifically for that. "Now the baby's all squeaky clean~"
For the brief moment he was carried back to the nursery naked. Mind was able to put his hind legs together for once. It actually felt strange being able to now, but that didn’t last long once he was lay on the changing table once more and Mantra settled him back into a fresh pink, violet-patterned diaper. Mantra then prepared him something new to wear; a fleece hoofed sleeper. He was slipped into the azure blue pajamas, and the zipper was zipped from his groin to his neck. His diaper still bulged from within the sleeper, but one shouldn’t have expected less. All four of his hooves were gripped snugly and comfortably by the sleeper. Mind was then placed back into the crib and a yawn forced its way past the stallion’s gaping mouth.
"Oh wow, I'm surprised the foal's actually tired. Maybe beddy-bye will be easier than I thought." Mind protested that it was just the big dinner that made him yawn. "Sure it was." Mantra said while rolling her marigold eyes. She clipped the contrasting pink pacifier onto his blue pajamas and helped it into his mouth.
Mind looked up into Mantra's eyes, then her glowing horn, then his gaze turned at the musical mobile above the crib as it spun. The little tune it played, its centrifugal motion, the suckling on the pacifier, and the calming and serene aura Mantra was giving him started to take him into the realm of sleep. But he wasn't even tired, he shouldn't even be tired. Or should he? He lost track of time at noon; that was the last time he looked at the clock. Red-orange light flittered into the room past the nursery curtains and was slowly fading.
The windows very lightly tinted in response to the unicorn’s horn alight. The shadow spell would wear off after the sunset, leaving only moonlight and the mobile to faintly illuminate his nursery.
"I'd break out a story for you, but you're already falling asleep." She leaned into the crib and gave Mind a kiss on his bare forehead, then promptly lifted up the dropside. "As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal. Nighty night, Mind~"
Mind Fission struggled to keep his eyes open. Each blink became slower, his eyelids became heavier, and the mobile's music started to slow and fade out. He closed his eyes, and his tiny, rhythmic, pacified snores filled the air.
Author's Note
In this chapter, we see shadows being gradually lifted to reveal the typical fantasy of a caregiver brought to life, but we can't just have complete acceptance of it right away. Uncertainty, reluctance, apprehension: These are all things that give these kinds of scenarios life. Life is life, and no matter how one tries, his/her perceptions will only color reality, not change it.
While fiction and magic are wonderful tools to work with, keeping one's writings within the confines of common sense and natural order as much as possible is beautiful.

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                   Chapter 3: Sorceress                    
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Chapter 3: Sorceress
Mind didn't wake up until the sun was shining again. He couldn't believe he slept so much. In fairness, he slept in a dungeon for a week straight and was probably suffering from major sleep debt. Who knew how much sleep he was really getting with that cold hard floor stealing most of it? But he did feel incredibly refreshed; both from well due rest and the sight of the nursery walls upon awakening. Albeit the crib bars served as foreground to these walls, it was all much more desirable than stone walls.
And yet, somehow in his heart, waking up like this felt right.
He stretched, yawned, let loose a stream from his bladder, and gave his pacifier some suckles as if it were all the right thing to do. His diaper soaked and soaked as what was reserved from overnight was pushed out. He then pressed his upper hooves against the diaper bulge in his sleeper, finding the sleeper to be bone dry. Two concerns were lifted in that moment; he wasn’t wetting in his sleep and diaper absorbency was top-notch.
Mind kicked off the covers. Being in a hoofed sleeper and having a thick diaper (now wet) underneath was really heating him up. In his loafing, he surveyed the crib a little bit; not much more to gaze upon than bars and the blue dragon mobile above. Getting bored quickly, he found himself clipping his hoof across the bars. He could try to climb out of the crib any time he wanted, or maybe even find out how to lower the dropside on his own, but him taking his role as a baby didn't leave his options open to that. He couldn't fall back asleep either.
There was one option left: Mind wailed for his master, certain his shrills could penetrate the walls, let alone the cracked door. And on his beckon, the door swung further open and Mantra entered the nursery.
"Well, good morning to you too, little one~"
"Good morning, Master!" Mind said with forced babyish slurs and a bright smile.
"Oh, that's much better~" The mare’s horn glowed and a matching aura worked to unclip his pacifier off his sleeper. "You just get sweeter every day~" Magic then lowered the bars, cradled Mind before the mare, and she gave him a kiss on the head. "Oh?" She said out loud, then wore a toothy grin. Mind watched himself be oriented upright, his lower hooves suspended several inches from the floor, and then he felt his tail being lifted. "Let me help you with that." The mare’s words preceded a short splortch sound that accompanied a warm mush that his footed sleeper helped to keep pressed between his plot and his diaper. The whole act didn’t even last three seconds.
"What? C'mon, I didn't even need to go!" Mind’s face was absolutely plastered hot pink. Mantra laughed before responding.
"Well, clearly you did, otherwise you wouldn't have filled up your diapee like the little baby you are." She unzipped the azure hoofed sleeper, unclipped the pacifier from it, and stripped him of it to release the smell contained within. "Phew! These jammies are definitely getting a wash today~" Mind was laid on his back on the changing table, and he gazed down at the soiled pink garment as Mantra started relieving him of it. Tapes peeled with a loud rip, and the stallion’s mess was done away with. The pacifier dropped from his mouth and lay beside him.
After using countless wipes to clean up his area thoroughly, she turned Mind onto his belly. Smack! And a loud high-pitch yelp followed.
"Did the baby need his paci?" She inquired with a smirk. Mind, while still gritting his teeth and fiercely closing his eyes, shook his head. "You sure? It'll be less painful if you have something in your mouth." Mantra gave him another swat with the back of the hair brush.
"Agh! No! I'm a good boy, Master!" Mantra giggled in response and continued with the spanking. Mind couldn't hold back his crying for too long, though. After about twenty spanks was when the first tear drop hit the changing table. After the hundredth strike, rivers striped his face to dump into a pond on the changing table with only sniffling to show anguish worthy of screams. Mantra stamped her hoof in his rear end twice; once on each cheek.
"Shhhh," she said, "spankies are over. Maybe next time you'll take your paci?"
"But I'm a good boy, Master." The stallion said, his mouth agape from deep breathing.
"Silly baby," The pacifier levitated into Mind’s mouth. "Go ahead and suckle away; good boys need to know their limitations too."
Mind did as she said, finding himself easily soothed by the guard secured against his lips as he nursed on the silicone teat. He swayed back and forth in the rocking chair, magically cradled in her lap. Her hoof streaked through his mane continuously, and he felt invited to cry into her chest.
“Since you were so good yesterday, you won't be getting pink clothes today." Mantra gave her charge the necessary time he needed to calm himself. Remarkably, actual foals cry easily but brighten up quickly, which is what Mind needed to internally remind himself of. In fact, trying to test his limits, while it felt like the right thing to do in the moment, seemed very silly now. He broke out a smile at his own folly. "All smiles now, baby?"
"Yes, Master." He said, nodding with the same smile and the pacifier lisping him.
"Oh, by the way. You may feel free to call me 'Mommy' now." Mantra then kissed him on the cheek. "You may still call me 'Master,' but it'd make me happy if you started calling me 'Mommy', instead." Mind only nursed on his pacifier in response. Sure, she was acting motherly most of the time, but the regular spankings and her strict demeanor made calling her "Master" more appropriate. He did feel her heart in her words, though; something he wouldn’t forget.
The stallion’s hooves were raised skyward once more to give him a view of a white cloud gracing the air from underneath his rump. He winced as cold diaper rash cream slathered his nethers. Mantra sealed a diaper around Mind and gave it a couple of pats with her hoof.
This diaper felt cold… And already squishy. He took a more careful glimpse down at the signature-marked diaper with a sunflower-yellow tint peeking from under his groin. It was the same exact one he wore and wet before Mantra put him in pink diapers. Where did she even keep that one?
"You didn't think I threw this one out, did you? It still has a lot of use." He was levitated off the changing table before Mantra. "I can't believe you're already soggy~” Mind couldn’t help but roll his eyes while he continued to blush. “Not that it matters; knowing you, you're probably going to poop in it in about an hour or so." Mind could tell she was holding back hysterical laughter from behind her giggles.
The rest of the day went by as normal- or rather as normal as this could get. No- No, “normal” was the wrong word; “usual” was more appropriate. Mantra sat on the couch with her book while the diapered stallion played with his assortment of baby toys with Dragon Paws running on the screen until his pureed carrot lunch followed by a nap. Mind offered to put the toys away when Mantra told him it was lunch time, but she insisted that he pick them up after his nap. But she did praise him for his neatness and called him a good boy. Mind found it easier to play into the role as time went on.
Mind lay in his crib again watching Mantra close the door behind her as she wished him sweet dreams. Mind felt a tickle in his bladder, then immediately felt himself letting go. The awaiting pant warmed up again and bloated a little more. The calming stream within led way to his pacifier nursing, and then he started blinking heavily and his consciousness was fading. Mind fell fast asleep with a wet drop creeping down his cheek from his pacifier guard and forgot about the water balloon in between his legs.
Mind woke again on his side with the pacifier fallen out of his mouth. He turned onto his back and raised his hoof to investigate a draft he felt on his cheek. A groan followed the stallion’s hoof drenching in the sticky sleep-induced slobber. On top of that, his diaper was soaked- Of course it was; he had forgotten again that he was wet. Another urge snuck up on his bladder as he stretched, and his diaper grew even soggier, accepting all the punishment Mind was giving it. But Mind also felt that other presence in his diaper. He didn’t mess while asleep, did he? Being so used to using his diapers, maybe he messed before his nap and forgot about it. He didn't smell anything, but sometimes it doesn't escape if it's tame enough and with his diapers so snug. With appropriate timing, Mantra entered the nursery.
"Wakey wakey, little one~" She said. "Up and at 'em. Let's get your soggy butt changed real quick; I have a special surprise for you.”
She took Mind out of the crib and lay him on the changing table to relieve him of the heavy garment. Was the mess all in his head? He certainly would've heard some teasing from Mantra had he really done so. Could he really not tell at this point? What if he really did mess and wouldn't be able to tell? These thoughts dissipated once Mantra gently cleaned his area and settled him once again into a fresh diaper with the same designs on it; the designs that resembled Mantra's cutie mark; the lightly tattered heart in a purple flame crossed by a baby bottle. She gave his diaper a squeeze and a kiss on his head.
"Ready for the next Good Boy Challenge?"
The kitchen table had an empty pink picnic basket with a blanket, plates, and multiple different meals in containers strewn about. He wanted so badly to suspend the belief that she wanted to take him outside in public dressed and acting as he is now that he tricked himself into believing so.
"Be a good boy and pack mommy's picnic basket, little one~"
"Yes, Master." And just like the toy box, Mind's specialty for neatness shone. Mantra watched him carefully pack the basket. He closed off the thermos by the ice pack and arranged the food sensically to consolidate space and to leave nothing clattering around. With a close of the basket, the blanket was placed on it and secure over by the handles.
"Very good boy~ Just for that, I'm going to get you a good boy's shirt~ Stay here and don't move." Mind sat still at the kitchen table. Just to satisfy his obsessive neatness, he double checked how the picnic basket looked. He didn’t see bottles in it, which meant that whatever would be in the bottles would remain a mystery to him. Possibly in a diaper bag. If a picnic was in the cards, she can’t mean for them to travel too far.
"Well, let's give this one a shot again." She slipped the light blue t-shirt that read "Good boys need spanking too" over Mind's head. "So others will know how good you've been."
"Others?" He caught himself just in time. "Othews, Mastew?" He even knew that she knew that he knew that he wasn’t any good at playing dumb.
"Why yes," Mantra replied, "everyone we pass by while on your walk, silly." A walk!? She was completely serious. Not just a picnic. "Let's go now, little one." A light bulb sparked in the stallion’s head: She really trusted him enough to be able to take him outside, where he could easily call for help. The light bulb burnt out shortly: Logically, and going off of Mantra’s previous exchange with the mailmare, calling for help would not only cost him Mantra’s trust, but it’d fall on deaf ears. This was a move that was not in his favor whatsoever, and downright deceitful; something a good baby wouldn’t do.
The mare grabbed a large blue diaper bag and slung it around herself, resting at her side like a saddlebag. She then rested the picnic basket on her back and created a telekinetic leash with her magic, dragging Mind with her. His face matched the color of her magic; he would've rather been carried.
The foyer was vast. The carpet was so worn and thin, probably from centuries of age, that the sound of clipping hooves still bounced along the walls and what wood peeked from the rug spread on the stairs. Two identical painted pictures of the family crest lined both walls of the foyer just before the stairs. Mind didn't have much time to gaze upon such an astoundingly large room as he was led out through the front door.
Mind had to raise his hoof to allow his wide pupils to adjust to the brightly shining sun. A water fountain carved in marble depicted a stallion standing valiantly with his horn raised high. The mark on his flanks were that of the family crest he kept seeing around the house. The path circled this fountain and trailed into a towering front gate. Shrubbery and hedges graced the lawn. Mind followed Mantra off the porch steps and onto the pavement. He turned around and gave an astonished gaze at the massive mansion he had just exited.
“You like Mommy’s house?”
“It’s big.” Mantra then giggled.
“Yes, very big. Smart baby.”
The dry summer air found a warm home in Mind’s nostrils, birds were singing many different tunes to one another, and the breeze was gently stroking his body, saved for the parts protected and insulated by his thick diaper. Wait, his diaper; there was nothing covering it except for his upper hooves.
"Oh don't worry, little one." Mantra said in response to his expressions. "It's too warm for anything." She started to unfold a gadget she snuck out of the house with. "Besides, you look adorable~" She completely ignored the fact that he wasn’t wearing anything to cover his diaper in public. The gadget she was unfolding turned out to be an adult-sized stroller, which she placed Mind in the seat, buckled him in, and clipped his pacifier to his shirt collar while putting it in his mouth. "Let's get my baby a baba." She lowered the food tray of the stroller and got out a bottle of pink liquid from her blue diaper bag. She took off the cap and set it on Mind's tray. "Now don't drop that." And then she put the picnic basket in the bottom of the stroller.
And away they went. Mind wiggled around, finding himself strapped into the stroller snug, his diaper, his embarrassing t-shirt, the bottle, and the pacifier all in plain sight. "Oh nooooo." Mind muttered softly to himself as he flushed pink. The idea of someone seeing him like this filled him with dread. He kept quietly whining to himself.
"If the baby isn't ready for a walk outside, Mommy can always take him back home and spank him until his butt's bruised." Mantra said with a smug tone.
"No, I'm sowwy. I'll be good, Master."
"Good." Mantra said as she kept strolling along. "Now drink your baba." He was wondering what the drink she gave him was. He let the pacifier fall out of his mouth and tug on his shirt by the clip. With a tentative suckle, he found out it was strawberry milk. She never gave him strawberry milk before, and it's one of the best drinks he's had in his bottles. Genuinely, Mind smiled as he drank the sweet pink liquid. "Surprised?" Mantra cooed at him.
"Thank you, Master~" Mind said, also genuinely.
"Aww, you're welcome, sweetheart. I knew that was my baby's favorite drink." Well, actually his favorite drink was something one can't really give a baby, but excluding all of those, strawberry milk would stand tall. "Hi there, Trotsi~" Mantra called out. It was a tan colored earthpony with a brown wavy mane with a mailbag beside her; most likely the same mailmare who stopped by yesterday.
"Mantra, hi~" Her brown eyes fixed immediately toward the pony in the stroller before her. "Oh my Celestia, is this him!? He's adorable!" Mind took the bottle's nipple out of his mouth and tried covering his face with his hooves. The mailmare moved her luscious brown mane out of her vision and read Mind's shirt. "Hey, look at that. This shirt says you're a good boy." She then looked up to the mare behind the stroller. "Oh Mantra, you better hold on to this one, he's so cute. But hey, I'd love to stay and talk, but I have rounds to do."
"You go, girl. No-one does the mail like you do."
"Bye, Mantra~" She then leaned in toward Mind. "Bye-bye, you little cutie." And as her name suggested, she trotted along the path to deliver more mail. Mind didn't know what to think. She treated him like he was an actual foal, and acted like that was genuinely what he was. Despite him anticipating such, it was still quite unbelievable.
"See? That wasn't so bad." Mantra peered over and squeezed the front of Mind’s diaper with her hoof. "Still dry too. You didn't say anything, and sometimes things happen when you're a shy baby. Mommy’s just checking~" There wasn't even any point in questioning it in his thoughts. Of course she wanted him to use his diapers in public; it's a normal thing babies do and Mantra brought the diaper bag to further encourage it.
As Mantra strolled Mind down the path further, a couple they were passing by stopped to greet them as well; a light-blue male unicorn and a lavender female pegasus. They exchanged greetings before the couple bent down to Mind. "Aw, look at the little stinker." The unicorn said.
"Is he stinky?" Mantra asked. "I just checked him." She lightly shoved the couple, took off the food tray, and lifted up Mind's lower hooves to check his diaper right in front of them. The entire time, Mind kept blushing and blushing. "Nope, he's all clean." She then refastened the tray.
"He's actually really adorable, Mantra~" The pegasus said. Something that Mind caught right away was her voice; completely unlike her partner, it wore a thick layer of timidity, despite her being genuinely excited to see him.
"He actually is. And those pink spots are the best touch." Mind covered his face once again. He just had to see those. Mantra giggled in response.
"They help encourage good behavior." Mantra said with a bright smile. Mind completely forgot that there weren't just spanking splotches on his butt; his sit spots are probably all pink too, spots that a diaper won't cover. But wait, being seen in a diaper isn't worse? As they all bid farewell, Mind couldn't help but notice that there was a large bruise on the pegasus' hind left leg. He tried to follow it with his gaze as Mantra started to stroll along again. "It's rude to stare, little one." Mind immediately turned away and stared down at himself.
"Sowwy, Master." Mind said reflexively. At this point, Mind followed Mantra's orders in a heartbeat and apologized when he could. He probably could've gotten away with not apologizing; babies don't know simple rules like that, but a good one can never be too careful.
Their stroll stopped at a playground. Mantra unbuckled Mind from the stroller, and set down the picnic basket and diaper bag in his stead. She then unclipped his pacifier and placed it in the diaper bag with her magikinesis. "Since you're being good today, how about some playtime? Let's work up your appetite." The playground had a teeter-totter, two sets of swings, and a jungle gym. Carrying Mind with her magic, she lowered her "foal" into what turned out to be, now close up, an adult-sized baby swing. Mind shifted around in the seat, the form snugging around his diapered groin, and the entire time he was looking down at himself blushing. "This playground is for bigger kids, but at least they have swings for little babies like you."
Mantra pressed her hoof against his diapered rump where it peered through the seat, then stood on her hind hooves to press her other front one against the swing itself. She gave Mind a strong push, sending the wind through his face then into the back of his head. Mantra’s hooves gave a stronger sense of security that her magic couldn’t give. The swaying was a comfort, and Mantra's grasp on the way back was welcoming every time. He didn't want her to stop. It was funny to him, and he couldn't help but laugh. The master didn't want to stop either; she felt her heart grow from hearing Mind's laughter. But playtime did have to end, and the timing was appropriate, since Mantra heard Mind's stomach as she lifted him out of the seat.
"Looks like I have a hungry little colt." She remarked.
Mantra had her charge walk beside her as she magikinetically carried everything over the grassy hill nearby. At the top, she lay the blanket on the grass, and spread out the meals from the pink basket. Mind, was promptly sat on the blanket, his clean and dry diaper was checked in the process. Another bottle floated out of the diaper bag toward Mind. With a chuckle, she said "I'm surprised this diapee is still dry; and here I thought this wouldn't be enough." The main compartment of the diaper bag flew open and revealed its contents of three thick diapers. Mind gave her a dull stare. "Yes dear, I really packed that many," she said, "a mommy always has to be prepared." Mind grasped the bottle before him and sent the sweet pink milk coursing through the teat.
For a change of pace, the picnic actually had meals that weren't baby food. Mind even got to pick out what he wanted to eat, so long as it was easy enough for a baby to eat. His course was mashed potatoes, peas, and corn. The stallion tried to be as neat as he could with being fed, but his bib was rendered a mess regardless, almost as if Mantra was doing it on purpose… No, she was doing it on purpose.
"One more baba?" Mind shook his head and rubbed his bulging belly in response. His slouch was so deep the stroller buckle was creasing his diaper. "Ha ha, of course not." Mind’s pacifier was then plopped into his mouth, then clipped it to his shirt once more. He didn't protest and gave way to the soothing suckles. Mantra pet his mane then started making stroller tracks again. Although Mantra told him they were heading home, they didn’t pass by the same scenery; Mantra was taking him through a detour, but for what?
The two crossed paths with yet another pony in town. Green coat, wavy maroon mane. Mantra addressed her as “Peppi” and it became evident that this pony was one of Mantra's best friends. Her teeth sparkled from her giddy grin and she couldn’t take her eyes off of Mantra’s new baby.
"I haven't seen you in a while, and now I see why. How can you keep yourself away from this cute little guy? Can I hold him?"
"Why of course," Mantra said, "Mind's a good boy; you can hold him without any fuss whatsoever." Her tone implied expectation. The eager green unicorn lunged before him with her horn glowing yellow to undo his stroller buckle. She stood on her hind hooves and held Mind close, both with her magic and one of her upper hooves rested on his diapered rear end. He was clearly taller than her, just as he was taller than Mantra, but she continued to hold him and treat him like he was a normal foal. After putting the stallion back down back in his stroller and buckling him in, the two girls talked for a while, and for a looooong time. First, Peppi was talking about the going-ons of her family, which went on for a while; Mind was drifting in and out of the conversation like an actual colt would. But then his attention was grabbed by his master’s friend raising Mind's lower hooves.
"Oh, look at those~" She said as Mind blushed a heavy shade of pink once again. He couldn't believe she was checking specifically for those. "Is he still being spanked?"
"Oh, we're far from being done with spanks. He's getting one hundred per day."
"You might be spanking him for a while." She then leaned in to pet Mind once again. "After all, he spanked a lot when he was being naughty. It's only fair." He wanted to shake off her hoof, but her last sentence caught him off guard and paralyzed him to think of anything else. "Does he get any extra?"
"Not in a while; he's been quite good. See, I knew this was going to work. All he needed was a little guidance." Mantra put herself in Mind's sight once again. "Just a little. Isn't that right, little one?" For a split second, Mind broke eye contact with her to stare down at himself while he blushed. He forced himself to looked back up and nod at her before he received any unwanted vibes from her. Mantra pet his mane and smiled warmly at him. "Good boy~ Well, we have to get going, Peppi." The two mares hugged each other tightly then parted ways.
Aside from her being eccentric and hyperactive, Mind didn't notice anything else particularly out of the ordinary about Peppi. No, wait- As she walked away, Mind spotted a scar on her left flank. It felt like he recognized the scar, or rather the instrument used to make a scar that specific, but he couldn't remember for sure. And there was no time to look any further at the scar as Mantra started pushing his stroller.
Mind spotted a building along the path that stood out. It wore cute babyish decals on its windows; of cat faces, toy blocks, safety pins, and baby bottles. The decals sent a jolt through Mind’s heart; a, irrational sense of uncomfortable familiarity. The building looked like a shop of sorts, but Mind couldn't identify what was on the shelves due to the tint on the windows. And it looked like he was about to find out as he was wheeled toward the front door. Mind asked her why they were going in, and of course, he should’ve seen her response coming from a mile away.
"To get you more diapers, silly~" He was guessing that in his head, but the actual response gave Mind a chill. He always thought his diapers were getting special ordered. The idea of there actually being a store specifically that held adult-sized diapers that they were just walking into like a mother and a son was… With the chill now passed, actually somewhat amusing.
A tiny bell rang upon the door pushing open. Mind's attention turned toward the right as he heard clips of hooves smacking on the wooden counter. Over the counter was a pony whose coat was as white and yellow as a ray of sunshine, wearing a crimson shirt with a matching cap that had a light blue rattle adorned at the center.
"Mantra, I-" She stopped as soon as she took a gaze at Mind, "Oh hey there, little guy." She said. Unlike the other ponies who greeted Mind, this one spoke with a nervous intonation and had a bead of sweat rolling down the side of her head. The stallion felt her apprehension soil the air. "Is this who Mantra has had her hooves tied up with?"
"Don't worry, Patty. He won't be any trouble. He's very well-behaved, and he knows that if he does anything naughty, I won't hesitate to paddle him on the spot." Mind blushed a fiery red to her comment, but there was a sense that she was doing it more to assure Patty than to embarrass him. Mantra’s words filtered the air and the shopkeep looked a little relieved, but it seemed like convincing her that Mind wasn't going to wreck her shop or anything was going to be a gradual process. "Do you promise to be a good boy in Patty's shop, you little diaper-filler?” Her tone pressed firm. “Tell her that you promise."
"I pwomise."
"You promise what?" She said, her tone growing firmer.
"I pwomise I'll be good."
"Good boy~" Mantra pet his mane. Mind's words just came out without him even thinking about them. He hadn't even done anything wrong and Mantra was threatening to spank him and calling him embarrassing names. The only appropriate response was to fight to keep his good boy title by appeasing his master. But Patty did seem much more calm now.. He didn't have time to think about it too much as he was pushed into the first aisle.
"Well, I'll be over here if you need help with anything at all~" Patty called out to them, wearing a natural perkiness.
The first aisle was, of course, diapers and diaper supplies. The diaper packs themselves were so big that each facing would take up two feet of each section of shelving. The smell of foal powder was so thick it embedded itself into Mind's nostrils. Some of the packs of diapers were lavender scented, no doubt with so many packs collected together, some of the scent was bound to penetrate the plastic and collect into an amalgam of smells.
One pack in particular stood out to Mantra; Peaceful Night Diapers. "Thick ultra-absorbent night time diapers for slumbering foals-at-heart. Night time designs help encourage bedtime. Keeps your foal-at-heart leak-free and dry even after breakfast, guaranteed." Continuing to read the features in little bubbles at the bottom corner, they said "Ultra-absorbency and fast wick keeps wearer dry even from the strongest soakings.
"Low mobility from thickness encourages wearer to settle down for bedtime.
"Strong tapes to keep your foal-at-heart secure."
"Hmm," she thought to herself, "I should get you cloth-backed ones for the hot weather coming soon, but I'll wait on that." Mind blushed and gave a mere stretch. His master investigated the stretch to find his diaper still clean and dry. "I thought for a second the little baby made a stinky."
"No Master," Mind said with a pink plaster on his cheeks, "I don't need to go right now, Master."
"Oh, I don't expect you to make any promises, little one. Besides, Patty's got an awesome changing room that you might like to see." Mind insisted that he was alright. "Oh, diaper rash cream." She picked the tube off the shelf. She passed by the other diaper supplies and took Mind into the next aisle.
This one had mostly baby bottles and pacifiers. One thing that caught the stallion's attention was next to the diaper bags; breast pumps. And Mind wondered about it; did this mean "foals-at-heart" enjoy-
"Oh cutie, you don't need Mommy's milk." Mind immediately broke his gaze and blushed, resorting to suckle on his pacifier in order to forget ever even thinking about it. Mantra chuckled at herself then commented on the food on the shelf. All of it was "foal-at-heart" food, which didn't look too different from regular foal food pouches and jars. Mantra picked out an assortment of jars with a variety of flavors for her little one, most of them being carrot and pea variants, particularly.
Beside the normal pouches and jars was a section of food labeled "Foal-At-Heart fast-acting food. (For struggling foals-at-heart)" Mantra, to Mind's surprise, didn't even take a second glance at this section. He didn't even want to comment about it; she'd probably respond with something like "you already act fast". He was actually amused at that thought, and was caught chuckled to himself.
"What's my baby giggling about?" Her charge played it off and said something tickled him, which she was quick to believe. Next in line was the third aisle, which was mostly bathing supplies, but there was a small section of jumpers that stood out of place justifiably in the aisle; the shop was rather small after all. Right away, she looked at a cute baby blue colored baby jumper with the same blue dragon pattern that matched his nursery. She walked back up to the counter to leave the jumper there for when they were finished shopping.
Mantra took him to the fourth aisle: Toys. The section was rather thin, but had enough merchandise to be able to be spread to cover the shelves completely, almost as if this section were there purely for aesthetic.
"Check these out, Mind." She pointed out the little toy instruments for him but his attention was fixed on the stuffed animals next to them. "What're you looking at, little one? Do you want a stuffy?" The stallion reached for a fourteen-inch peacock plush on the shelf, to which Mantra levitated into his hooves with her magic. He stared into the blue peacock’s green eyes. Its pink feet and beak stood out, along with its tail feathers’ vibrant colors. Mind couldn't help but feel happy holding the soft and hug-inviting plush. It entranced Mind. "Do you want Mommy to get that for you?"
"Yes~ Pwease Master!" Mind said enthusiastically. Realizing his outburst, he blushed heavier once more, but he didn’t care. He really wanted the plush. "Pwetty pwease, Master." Mantra giggled at his request and agreed to get him the plush. He thanked her fondly. "I'm gonna' name him Polymo!"
"That's a great name, sweetie." The mare replied as they approached the counter, ready to rope in the shopping venture. "Oh, I'll need to get a case of Peaceful Nights."
"For a whole case, I'll have to place an order. Should I ship it to the same address?"
"Yes, please do. Thanks, Patty~ Also, can I buy the jumper now and come by to pick it up tomorrow?"
"Sure thing- Oh my, this peacock is so cute! It suits him." Patty then leaned in toward the pony in the stroller, her worries now alleviated. "I'm sure he'll be such a great buddy."
After paying and exchanging farewells, Mind found himself being wheeled out of the store and back onto the path. He kept holding Polymo close to him. But then Mantra called out a name that made Mind's ears perk in an instant. "Snowy!" Mind immediately started blushing and wincing. Mind was strolled toward the diaper-clad white pegasus until reasonable distance was cleared.
"Oh, hi Mantra. So that's what happened to him." Snow Blitz said without enthusiasm, but he then raised an eyebrow. "What happened to his-"
"Oh, you're absolutely correct," Mantra chimed in, "what happened to his manners, indeed? Mind, be a good boy and say 'hello' to Snowy."
"Uhm…" The stroller-bound pony forced himself to make eye-contact with the white pegasus, his royal blue eyes showing hostility. "Hi Snowy, how are you?"
"Oh, not too bad, Mind," Snowy said equivocally, "considering the fact that I'm still recovering! I'm pretty sure my butt is still pink!"
"Snowy," Mantra chimed in once again, "I checked your cute little butt; you're fine."
"The pain is never going to go away." Snowy said with a sour flare in his voice. Mind was fearfully questioning himself in his head.
"Mind is getting punished appropriately, Snowy. Don't you worry."
"No amount of spankings can hurt as much as being betrayed by one of your closest friends." The pegasus continued down the path.
In his confusion, Mind held Polymo tightly. Mantra announced that it was time to head on home. The entire way home, Mind felt guilt preying in the back of his mind, and his only defense against it was holding onto Polymo tight; like a child, trying to run and hide from taking responsibility for what he felt. But he wasn't actually a child; he knew deep down what he did to Snowy was wrong. No, not just Snowy, everyone he hurt. The scar on Peppi, the bruise on the lavender pegasus, they were all him. He just couldn't remember any of it for the life of him.
Mind bounced around in the old baby jumper while his master took out her belongings from underneath the stroller and folded it up. While she was away, Mind felt his bladder suddenly relieve. He wasn't even aware he had to go, and most certainly not as bad as he thought. The flow just continued and continued, his diaper grew warmer and warmer, the warmness and the jumper hugged his groin closely. He gave a few tentative bounces awaiting Mantra’s return.
"I spy a wet little foal." The stallion floated up and out of the jumper and the mare inspected his garment. "Oh boy, looks like you're completely soaked. You were just dry a minute ago." She then gently lowered him and positioned him on all fours with his rear facing her. "You weren't being naughty and holding it, were you?" She then rubbed her hoof softly right below his cheek at the base of his lower leg, making his pink-splotched sit spots sting at the touch.
"No!" Mind said in a panic. "No, Master. I swear." Mantra hummed to herself, keeping the colt in suspense. Was she not going to believe him? He then thought that maybe he deserved to have his butt whipped again after what he did.
"Okay~ I believe you. Some babies need time to get used to using their cuddle pants outside." Looked like there was some forgiveness for shy bladder. "Don't worry, little one. Your body will get used to it. I’m sure that after a few more outings, you'll be filling up your diapees helplessly in public in no time at all. Maybe without even knowing it." She patted the seat of his soggy diaper, then worked her hoof up his back and to his red mane. She gently stroked it, starting to blush a little bit, and her eyes briefly turned pink. She then retracted and sat down on the couch, urging Mind to come over.
On her whim, he waddled his way over and lay down on the couch, resting his head into her lap. Polymo was levitated toward him, which Mind hoisted from the air. He kept struggling with the guilt; even with his new plushy, his pacifier, and a gentle hoof stroking his mane, it still tugged and tugged on the back of his head.
"Uh-oh, looks like I have a sad baby." Mantra said as she put more care into her stroking. "All smiles now."
"I hurt the other ponies." Mantra made an inquisitive hum in response. "I hurt Snowy, and Patty, and Peppi, and everyone we met today."
"Actually, the first mare you saw wasn't you."
"I still did bad things, didn't I?"
"Hush, you~ That was a long time ago, and you're doing good now. It's not like your little baby brain remembers, so you shouldn't even feel like you did it." She then pressed her hoof into his crinkly rear end. "Who'd believe that a little foal like you could hurt anyone anyway? You can't even keep your diapers dry." The pacifier was pulled out of his mouth doused in her magic aura, and a bottle replaced it. Mind found himself suckling the chocolate milk inside. He looked up into her eyes, finding her irises changed to a turquoise. Mind knew she was sad, and he questioned how he knew and not just suspected based on her eye color change. Noticing his concerned gaze, Mantra forced out a smug smile on command. "Oh don’t worry about me, sweetie~ Just finish your baba like a good little baby, then I'll get you out of your soggy diaper and into the bath, then off to bed. Then I'm going to give Snowy's daddy a phone call."
Snowy's daddy. Not biologically; he was a unicorn with a cobalt coat and a blue mane who took a caregiver role to Snowy not too long ago. Mind recalled him, but he didn't seem like the disciplinary type. Then again, Mantra didn't seem like the love and care type at first either. For a moment, and with such few sentences, Mantra kept her charge from thinking about the dark thoughts tugging on him. He started to wet his diaper just a little more, despite not really needing to go. A little press on his pant from her hoof made note of it.
"Good boy. Go ahead and let out anything you need to." He still suckled away on the bottle. All of a sudden, he felt the other need press on him, and without his control, or so he wanted to believe, he filled up his diaper. The pacing on his bottle drinking remained unchanged. His face flushed red as soon as Mantra took notice. "What a really good boy. Go ahead and finish that up and your bottle." He didn't even know he had more until her words sparked him to continue messing until he was all unloaded. His diaper felt really full afterwards, and his guzzling of the bottle slowed. "Take your time; this is a lot of milk afterall." Mantra cooed. "You're such a good boy."
Mind realized what his body was doing. He was trying to cheer Mantra up by further cementing his place as her foal, and the ultimate in babyish behavior was his way of doing so. For only a split second did Mind question why he was willing to go so far; Mantra's praise of him and her sudden lift in spirit set his heart alight, and he finished the chocolate milk bottle with a smile.
She sat him up and properly burped him, then cradled him in her magic and lay him on the floor. She quickly untaped his soiled diaper and scooped it out from underneath his rear. "You're still getting a bath. Baby wipes do a better job at this, though." After getting his rump cleaned up, she tossed the soiled diaper and many dirty wipes in the wastebasket. And just as she said, she urged a now naked Mind to follow her into the bathroom.
The stallion felt Mantra's love through her touch; her gentle magic scrubbing at his coat, and her shampoo-covered hooves massaging his head and neck throughout his mane.
Mind lay in his crib and was tucked under its covers securely. A plain purple fleece hoofed sleeper was zipped up to his neck, covering the extra thick nighttime moon and star patterned diapers, which covered a butt layered with cold cream. Mantra finished off the whole routine by putting his pacifier back in his mouth and clipping it to his sleeper, then giving her colt his new plush to sleep with.
"Once upon a time," Mind suckled on his pacifier, somewhat excited for a bedtime story. "A sorcerer obtained unimaginable power. Using his mighty god-like horn," she then booped Mind on his bare forehead, "he conjured magic like none has ever seen. He was feared by both good and evil, and thus was alone and misunderstood. One day, a beautiful mare, a sorceress, offered to understand him. It took time, but they fell in love, and the stallion cared so much for her that he used his magic to turn himself into a foal and forgot everything he knew about magic. The sorceress treated him and loved him like her own child, and they lived happily ever after." She then kissed Mind on his head and pulled up dropside of his crib. "Good night, my sweet little boy."
"Good night," Mind muffled through his pacifier, "Mommy~"
Obscured by the dark of night, her irises turned pink again, and she put on a smile that would stay on Mantra’s face all night long. "I love you, Mind."
"I love you too, Mommy." He said without stirring.
"As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal."
Bleet~ Ninety-eight. Bleet~ Ninety-nine. Bleet~ One…
Author's Note
With this chapter, I really tried to capture a lot of feelings. Although Mind is absent his memories, guilt and sense of responsibility are traits that are never forgotten. It isn't any easier for Mantra; forcing oneself to carry another's baggage is a heavy burden, even if it is for those that one loves. And Snowy's role as a supposed victim might just be the root of it.
Snow Blitz belongs to Thunderchaser23 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/75287/Thunderchaser23)
Patty Cakes (as a brief cameo) belongs to Kurikia (http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kurikia/)

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                   Chapter 4: Assiduity                    
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Chapter 4: Assiduity
The sun shone through the window curtains. The light was briefly rendered unbearable through Mind’s gaping pupils. His diaper gave way to many crinkles underneath his hoofed sleeper in his post-waking loafing. His lips remained wrapped around a silicone nipple, which he rediscovered upon an instinctive suckle toward it. He was surprised the pacifier was consistently staying in his mouth at night. Beside him was his plush peacock, Polymo, which he made a grab for and hugged tightly. He then started to feel his diaper warm up drastically. It soaked and soaked, and soon his diaper was squishing in tandem with its crinkles.
Truly, all the warmth was welcome to help his heart stave off the teeth-chattering chills of guilt; guilt for things he couldn’t even remember. A stream of light graced the nursery as the door creaked open, but couldn’t grace his heart.
"Good morning, my darling~" Mantra said cheerfully. As she walked toward the crib, the pacifier clip on his sleeper was rendered helpless to her glowing horn as it detached from his pacifier and levitated away from her charge, the lowering drop side followed. "Today's a special day." His soaked soaked diaper underneath was revealed by a parting zipper. The sleeper lay like a husked chrysalis in the crib as its caterpillar was taken to the changing table. Mind wished Mantra good morning, then felt the guard of the pacifier gently press firmer on his lips. "Just focus on that, little one." And on her whim, Mind blessed her ears with garbled giggling and quiet suckling. The stallion watched his sodden diaper come undone before the mare, and then his hind legs raise as his hooves were shrouded in her magenta light.
Smack! Mind clenched his teeth on the silicone nippple to suppress the sting of the hairbrush savagely striking his plot.
"Good boys need spanking too." She said. The usual one hundred strikes was over rather quickly and without tears. No doubt, Mind's rear was probably severely reddened. A hoof reached down with a wet freezing touch before his cream-covered rear end was wrapped up into a fresh thick diaper, all in good faith that it would all make up for the pain.
Mantra originally had planned to have him try the new flavors she bought the other day, but she stuck with carrots for breakfast once more, given the surprise she had planned for him. The situation made taking steps take precedence over taking leaps. The doorbell rang promptly after his usual morning ritual.
"Oh goody~" Mantra brightly said. Mind watched himself be levitated out of the high chair and set to his hooves beside her. “Let’s go, sweetie.”
Mind followed his master obediently through the living room, then into the foyer. On the voyage, he found his crooked gait more bearable. The knob on the front door radiated a dark pink light as it slowly swung open. A white half-pouting pegasus stood at the doorstep. Beside him stood a unicorn with a cobalt coat, azure mane, and hot pink eyes. His flanks each borne a mark depicting a hollow tree. He wore a courteous smile as Mantra remarked that it was good to see both of them again.
"It’s good to see you too, Mantra." The cobalt-coated stallion replied. "Snowy, what would you like to say?" The pegasus’ lips parted to briefly reveal his gritting teeth. On his command, and with a prideful swallow, Snowy gave both Mantra and Mind an apology. No, it was more like a performance, like he was a kid who didn't know what he was saying sorry for.
Tension yanked and pulled at Mind with the clipping of hooves along the floor. Snowy’s eyebrows may as well be furled and his nostrils flaring, his act so poorly veiled. The cobalt-coated stallion’s horn glowed with an aura remarkably resemblant to Mantra’s, and lifted a thick fluffy diaper and a blue mat out of the blue bag slung around his side, then Snowy's name was called.
"Aw, really?" The pegasus whined.
"Yes, Snowy."
"But in front of-"
"You know Mantra's house rule: Little ones have to be padded always." On his whim and with a sigh, Snowy lay on his back on top of the freshly lay changing mat and spread his hind legs, preparing himself for his caregiver to inevitably diaper him. His front hooves were folded during the routine.
As much as curiosity piqued at Mind, giving him wonder as to what the diapering process looked like from the outside, the tension he felt urged him to give Snowy and his daddy due privacy, but his gaze was fighting a magnetic pull.
“Mind, diaper check~” Mantra sat on the couch smiling at him. Her command forced the red-maned stallion to waddle past Snowy’s preparations, failing to uphold the internal promise he made to himself. “Turn around~” And then Mind was left with no other choice of viewing pleasure, all while a hoof and magic played at his crinkling pant. “Nice and dry, just a little bunched, let me fix that~” Mind felt his diaper adjust and be rendered a tad fluffier. “Sit~”
A hairbrush danced through Mind’s mane almost as gentle as a breeze. He had a front row seat to Snowy’s daddy reciprocating Mantra’s diapering routine almost to the letter. His gentle hooves massaged foal powder into Snowy’s sensitive spots, then his magenta aura pulled the front of the pant over his charge’s groin and secured it in place with the loud ream of the tapes. The diaper complemented Snowy’s white coat with a light blue core and white snowflakes lining down the groin from front to back. The stallion leaning before him gave him a kiss on the forehead and proclaimed that he was ready for the day.
"Be a good boy for daddy. Make sure you're both down for a nap at noon, no going to the upper floor of the mansion, no going outside, and be nice to Mind."
"Yes, Daddy." Snowy replied. The blue diaper bag was slung off his side and lowered to the floor beside the pegasus, who rifled through it as Mantra gave Mind a kiss on his forehead and urged him to be good as well. "Hey, where's my 3DS?"
"Oh, you're still grounded." He said in a tone that could make one's hairs stand on end. Mantra's dominance was one thing, but Mind could tell this stallion was naturally introverted, apprehensive, and shy, all of which seemed to vanish from his personality in an instant. "If you do a good job babysitting, I'll shorten your grounding." Snowy huffed and acknowledged what he said, causing Mantra's eyes to turn scarlet very briefly, but a deep breath helped them to default back to their usual marigold. The two "grown-ups" then trotted out of the living room, and the closing front doors echoed through the foyer.
A blue-diapered butt crinkled as Snowy sat his padded self on the floor in front of the screen with a sippy cup full of apple juice cusped between his hooves. He was determined to binge watch something on the DVR to pass the time. He had to stick with shows for kids to avoid Mantra finding out he watched anything mature; luckily he didn't have a problem with that due to his preference to girly horse shows.
"When this is over, you're going to tell my daddy you had a fun day."
"Why are you mad at me?"
"’Mad’? ‘Mad’ is the mildest way you can put it."
"Snowy, I really don’t know why. I only know that you're mad at me for something I did, and I can't remember what it is." Light astonishment at having his thoughts directly answered, as opposed to what he said, showed faintly in Snowy’s eyes and in his hesitation.
"Horseshit!" Snowy said, shaking his head.
"I really don't remember, Snowy!" He knew Mind too well, as well as the tone of a pony that was practically begging to be believed. However, he couldn’t suspend his disbelief, despite his better judgment. A confliction the red-maned pony beside him felt; a confliction that spread like a wildfire to engulf common sense. Snowy had to collect himself with a few sips before responding. The apple juice rinsed his tongue and quenched his throat, then he gave a heavy sigh.
"You really don't remember?"
"I mean, I know I hurt others."
"Again, you’re putting it in the mildest way possible."
"What exactly happened, Snowy?” Mind’s voice grew firmer. “Why am I here?"
"Uhm… I'm not allowed to tell you. Daddy threatened to ground me forever if I did… And he said that talking about it will make you feel worse. So let's just watch some cartoons."
"But Snowy-" A pacifier was quickly plopped into Mind’s mouth, stifling him.
"No more talking. Cartoon time, little baby." Snowy snidely remarked.
"I just want us to be friends again." The pacifier held a good effort to keep Mind’s words lisped. Snowy opened his mouth, only for it to give in to a sigh in hesitation of finding the right words right away.
"I really don’t think I can; you did something completely unforgivable."
"But friends forgive each other."
"Not when one friend rapes the other!" His voice rattled the walls of the nearby foyer and the fire in his conscience spread into his pool blue eyes. "That's right! RAPE! And you want to know the worst part, Mind? You were one of my best friends! You were my best friend and you raped me! You committed a betrayal that hurt worse than anything I've ever felt before!" Mind couldn't even give him a response other than his incredulous stare. "And… There's no forgiving that… I mean, it wasn't sexual by any means, but it sure wasn't figurative." Snowy’s eyebrows remained furled even after breaking eye contact with Mind and sitting down next to him, hoping his favorite show would douse his blazing anguish.
Mind collapsed over onto his side, facing away from the pegasus. Trying to truly comprehend what Snowy was saying, he lay still with tears streaming across his face. All that broke the silence were tenor and falsetto voices holding enthusiastic conversations and heavy breaths that served to mask sniffling.
For two weeks, Mind was a baby under Mantra's watchful care. He was finally out of her sight for once, yet he missed her terribly. The last one who seemed to actually care for him. He didn't remember having many other friends besides Snowy, but they most certainly wouldn't forgive him if Snowy, of all ponies, didn't. Even with his best friend beside him, he was truly alone. Even if Mantra were to return in that instant, he’d be truly alone.
Confliction took its relentless grasp over Snowy. A grasp that forced him to question right from wrong; something the pegasus only faced in the vain of his pride.
"Damn you, Mantra! She did this all on purpose. Here I am alone with Mind, and I can't even do anything to him! But… Even if I could make him pay for it, would it be right? My head says 'yes', but my heart says 'no'… My stupid heart is right; he's not the same Mind who hurt me. I should give him another chance. I want to give him another chance… But I don't think I can even look at him without cringing; if I look at his face, I'll be reminded of everything he did."
“Friendship can’t be learned overnight. Enroll your colts and fillies in Friendship School today~ Take the reins on the well upbringing of your children, and make sure-” Snowy shook his head at himself, taking his hoof off the remote.
"Hey Mind, look,” the pegasus said, placing his hoof gently on his sulking playmate, “maybe I can give you a chance to set things right." Mind only lay stiff in response. "Hey, look at me, Mind. Sit up and look at me." Reluctantly, Mind obeyed and gazed up at Snowy with watery eyes, his bloodshot sclera contrasting with his red irises. Snowy found his face easier to look at with a pacifier in his mouth and his eyes beaming innocence. "A couple of ground rules first. One - The past few minutes never happened. From now on we're going to have fun." Mind looked downward still sniffling. "Two - You're going to tell Mantra and my daddy that we had fun every time we hang out- Mind, please listen to me." Snowy's hoof tilted Mind's chin up to match his gaze. "I want to be friends again, but it's not as easy as that. You have a lot to make up for."
Mind leapt in and embraced Snowy in a hug. Snowy grit his teeth and furled his brows, preparing to throw him off. His hooves and reactionary impulses were stayed by thought; thought that transcended common understanding and came from his icy heart, not his mind. A faint carpeted thud gave way to a clatter of plastic.
"I'm so sorry, Snowy! You know I'd never want to hurt you. I can't even imagine myself being driven to do that." Mind continued to cry, Snowy's hooves still up in the air. "I'll do anything to make it up to you. You don’t even have to talk to me the whole time and I’ll tell them we had a good day. You can even hit me if you want."
Snowy slowly closed his hooves around him.
"You'll make it up to me, but not in petty ways like that." Gently pushing him away, Snowy reached for the fallen pacifier and wiped it free of the couple of carpet fibers. "If you're willing to do anything for me, then listen carefully." Making certain his gaze grasped Mind’s full attention, he repeated his first two ground rules, then popped the pacifier back into Mind's mouth. "Three, only I’m allowed to take this pacifier out of your mouth.” The blue pacifier’s guard stuck to Mind’s lips as it weaved forward and back. “Four, you're going to listen to everything else I say and be a good little baby."
Mind nodded in response, firmly acknowledging every single one of Snowy’s rules. The pegasus lifted his crinkling rear and made his way out of the living room with an askew gait. The red-maned pony waited patiently for his babysitter’s return. Shadows were cast in his thoughts. They enthralled him to the point where he could only think of what he could have possibly done, saved for one glancing thought: The still image of the Friendship School commercial left a familiarly bitter taste in his mouth.
Snowy returned with a bottle filled with apple juice and helped it find a place between Mind’s hooves. The plop of the silicone nipple pierced the air and the pacifier was set aside.
"Go ahead." Snowy said with a faint nod. In unison, bottoms were titled up, and the sweet golden liquid commemorated a new beginning. "Drink up, you baby." Snowy said breaking out a smirk almost involuntarily.
Snowy, to his surprise, rebuilt their burned bridge rather easily and had a good time playing with Mind. It was as if their tiff never happened. The screen was now black and Snowy sought entertainment through feeding a bead along the bead maze tracks.
"Just so you know, I'm playing with this because I'm grounded and bored. Not because I'm a baby like you."
"Whatever you want to tell yourself, you soaked baby." Mind replied with thick lisping. The pegasus looked down at his own padding; the snowflakes were washed away completely and the pant wore a thin yellow tint. Despite wearing a flush that contrasted perfectly with his blue eyes and white coat, he smiled confidently.
"Hey, I'm not a baby, just a potty-pants."
"To-may-toe to-mah-toe." The snarky pony replied while rolling his eyes. Snowy closed the short distance between the two with a crawl and gently pushed Mind onto his back. His hoof pressed into the groin of a diaper as equally as tinted as his own. Mind’s face flushed a hot pink, not expecting Snowy to prod at such a tender area and feeling the warm pant press against him, hearing the squishy crinkle accompanying it.
"Tsk tsk~ Soaked~ Just like a baby~"
"Hey, you gave me two bottles of apple juice." Mind defensively replied.
"Bottles are for babies. Time for a change. Wait right here"
Mind's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed even brighter. The pegasus galloped away, leaving his red-maned friend with his soggy plot planted to the floor. With the notion of Snowy changing his diaper in his head, a warm stream started to soak his padding even more, as if his sensitive diaper-trained bladder itself was overwhelmed by the very idea.
Snowy returned before Mind could calm his inner thoughts. Mind wanted to believe this would be the first time he would have his diaper changed by Snowy, but was it really? Did it even matter?
"Lift your plot." Mind obeyed, allowing the pegasus to slide a freshly unfolded diaper underneath his rump, which was then rested upon it. With loud rips, tapes were unfastened and the soggy diaper was opened. "Lift." Upon further obedience, the heavy pant was slid out from underneath, and he settled into the fresh one once more with a bare plot. Slight hesitation struck Snowy, but the apprehension was quickly shaken and he started to apply foal powder to Mind's area, his plot still plastered pink from the thousands of spanks he received from Mantra. The pant hugged Mind’s groin and the tapes were reamed over the landing zones. Snowy’s hoof gave Mind’s fluffy rump a few pats. "All done. A fresh diaper for the little baby."
"Thanks, buddy." Mind replied while giggling. He was surprised at how amused he was by this. The pegasus gave a shrug.
"It's a babysitter's job. That's what my daddy told me."
"Are you trying to be a good boy for your daddy?" Mind said with a grin behind his pacifier.
"I will slap you." The two had a good laugh together before Mind continued.
"Did you need a change, too?" A genuine question from the red-maned pony; no condescending hint in his voice at all.
"Oh please, you’re too little for that," Snowy said, "you can't even change your own diapers." Snowy broke into a yawn nearing the end of his sentence. He then rubbed his eye and gave out a very heavy sigh.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," Snowy said as he yawned once more, "I just got tired for some reason, what time is it?"
"Nap time?"
"No. I'm in charge; no naps." Snowy then took a look at the clock, both its hands reaching high. "I'm not tired, but noon is usually when Daddy puts me down for a nap. I guess I'm just so used to the sleep schedule."
"So… Nap time?" Mind said with a yawn trailing off his sentences as well. "Oh no, it's contagious~"
"You're tired because you're a baby." Snowy then lay himself down on the floor. "No nap today. I'm just going to rest for a bit." The pegasus lay on his side and felt his body relax itself, and as his eyes closed slowly, so too did his mind. His snores quickly filled the air. Mind lay himself down next to him in a parallel fashion and accepted the calling of nap time.
"This is so gross. Is this all you've been eating? I can't believe Mantra gets joy out of this." His hooves parted the jars and boxes in the pantry, finding only the Foal-At-Heart food pouches appropriate for his friend to eat. Appropriate only for Mantra’s preferences, that is.
"Yeah, I've been eating that stuff since I got here."
"Well, looks like it might be what you're getting now. I don't want to get in trouble trying to feed you something else." Snowy approached Mind, carrying a pouch of mushy Foal-At-Heart carrots with him. Mind completely understood his situation, and made himself comfortable in his highchair to endure yet another bowl of the mush while Snowy helped himself to a cold cup of chocolate pudding. The pegasus’ tongue stuck out as a bragging right to his friend.
Snowy spent the rest of the day encouraging Mind to play with his baby toys, which the pegasus took amusement out of watching, which was surprising to him. It wasn't until late afternoon the "adults" returned. Smiles spread cheek to cheek at the endearing sight of their two little ones playing together, having so quickly made up. The two were showered with affection and pets by their charges.
"Did you have a fun day with Mind, Snowy?" The cobalt-coated unicorn asked.
"Yes, Daddy~"
"Good! You may come play with him again." In response to that, Mind embraced Snowy in a hug and a cheer. "After you're ungrounded. Now, lay down so we can get you changed and head back home." Snowy’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a fierce pink.
"But Daddy, not in front of-"
"Do you really want diaper rash again? Changing time. Now." He said, his voice growing firmer as he continued to speak. On his command, Snowy lay back-flat on the floor and spread his hind legs; giving his daddy access to his diaper. "Oh geez, look at this. You've been playing around in this for a while, my little potty-pants."
Mind watched the ordeal the entire time: He started with the tapes, ripping them off loudly, then slid out the soaked garment from underneath Snowy's plot. Snowy was startled as a cold foal wipe ran around his area, but the assiduous touch from his daddy calmed him down. After the purifying strokes of the wipes cleansed his groin and rump, a fresh matching poofy garment slid underneath him and the scent of foal powder graced the air. The diaper was then closed; taped securely and snuggly at his waist, and the back tape was secured around his tail comfortably.
The crinkles from his new diaper made his ears twitch, and he seemed to feel so pleased to have a fresh diaper put on him. The feeling of having a reliable new pamper to wet in and the love his daddy put into it ebbed into his heart, helping him feel in his place as a little. His daddy gave him a kiss on his cheek, and Snowy returned it with a heartwarming smile.
Mind and Snowy exchanged one last hug before the caretaker and his charge started clipping their hooves along the path around the fountain and past the gate.
Author's Note
There's a lot I want to say about this chapter, but I need to save it for when I make my series of retrospective blog entries, which I will be doing once I've completed the story.
SnowBlitz belongs to Thunderchaser23 (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/75287/Thunderchaser23)

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                  Chapter 5: Onomatopoeia                  
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Chapter 5: Onomatopoeia
"I don't exactly have any pants that can go over your diapees, but there's nothing wrong with looking cute and dashing." A red-maned colt stood before Mind, clad in a tuxedo top with a thick diaper in plain view below it. He watched a gorgeous pink mare stand beside the colt, wearing a dark blue sparkling dress. It didn't become clear to Mind at first what he was being dressed up for.
From the living room and into the foyer, where Mind marveled the vastness of the mansion; only having been through six rooms along the ground floor of the mansion’s north wall, he wondered if he’d ever be granted the opportunity to see the whole thing. Mantra led Mind through a door across the foyer, his sight lay on a large, wide, open room with crystal chandeliers adorning the ceiling. Most of the aged dark-gold floor was clear, saved for the dinner table with a lavish feast and candelabra decorating it along the side. More paintings of various landscapes decorated the walls; from the crippling heat of the desert to the frostbiting air of the north. The clipping of hooves echoed across the vast hardwood room as Mantra further led on Mind to the dinner table, where his adult-sized high chair sat.
The crackles of a vinyl prefaced an allegrissimo piano riff, a cover of a piece he had heard before. Strings joined in to reciprocate the piano riff at the next bar, then the melody changed its progression. The piece proceeded to slow to allegro, then it was joined by an intricate and fast guitar solo, which wasn’t done by an acoustic guitar on the original version. Mind couldn’t remember the original artist, but he remembered the piece specifically as a short instrumental that served as an overture to a much faster-paced headbanging tune, which didn’t follow on the vinyl. Mantra had a mix-record fashioned for her for this moment.
Despite the arrangements, Mind’s drinks were still served to him in a bottle while Mantra teased him further with a large glass of dark red wine cusped in her aura.
"I figured we both deserve something a little special since you've been so good with this." She took another sip of wine before continuing. "I'll even let you stretch your thoughts a little bit. Just for this occasion, think of yourself as a slightly smarter baby: You still need your diapers, your highchair, and your bottle, but help yourself to whatever's on the table aside from the wine, and feel free to talk to me like a grown-up... But don't upset me either."
Could he even ask her any question and get a sincere answer out of her? He felt sincerity from her, but a wrong question could convince her to turn around on that promise. He decided not to be pushy for some answers right away. Just act like Mind normally would. And with a sincere smile, he told Mantra that she looked very beautiful.
"Oh, why thank you." She chuckled. "You seem nervous."
"Well, uhm…"
"Perhaps we should wait on the questions then. Maybe filling your belly will give your little foal brain enough time to think about it."
The two enjoyed dinner in a somewhat comfortable silence, silence saved for the music and the clattering of silverware. Mantra would break the wordless air with offers of help and her comments on how little foals need their food cut up for them. His meal ended up being a thoroughly cooked salmon cut up into pieces for him with sides of mashed potatoes and broccoli, and some dinner rolls sliced open and buttered down the middle for him. Toward the end of the meal, all that remained of Mind’s plate were smears and a pile of broccoli with only a single bite in one piece.
“Really?” Mantra said. “You’re one of those foals?” She gave a smirk but received his shaking head as the only response. The vegetables levitated across the table over to her own plate. “It’s okay if you don’t like broccoli. I don’t get why it was such a big deal for kids back in the day to eat it; there are other vegetables out there rich in the same vitamins anyway.” Mind gave a courtesy laugh.
“Could you please pass the mozzarella sticks?”
“Still not full?” With another head shake, Mantra levitated the plate of piping hot mozzarella sticks fancily laid out with a cup of marinara next to them. Mantra, took another drink of her liquid courage, almost emptying the large wine glass, before continuing. "I guess I’ll break the ice. My name is Mantra, but of course, I still expect you to call me 'Mommy' or 'Master'. Or rather, I should say that it would make me happy if you continued to call me 'Mommy'."
The two chuckled nervously at each other, and Mind could sense that she was genuinely nervous for once, which he didn’t blame her for, as she was trying new approaches; still trying to assert her dominance while wanting to get insight on Mind’s true adult feelings. But simply leaving the door wide open wasn’t enough to herd Mind’s curiosity to ask the big questions himself. He only grabbed one of the cheese-filled breadsticks and drenched it in the marinara. The mare sitting across from him took it upon herself to break the ice.
"So, the big questions: Who I am, why you are here, and why I am treating you like this? Do you remember the bedtime story I told you about the sorcerer?"
"Hot!" A cloud of steam accompanied stretching cheese out of the bread. Mind had to catch his breath before responding, but he was certain there was going to be a bump on the roof of his mouth for a while. "Sorry about that. Yeah, I remember. I'm the sorcerer in this story."
"Yes, very good. Smart boy, as I expected." She took another small sip of wine. "You won't have any memory of it, but you were a very powerful and misunderstood unicorn, so I took you away from the cruel outside world and gave you a home." Mind reached for his head, feeling no horn nor any bump or scar if it were there before, and he didn’t spot any protrusion in his periphery. "Oh, you don't have it anymore, and you don't have your memories either. The baby treatment, while it's for my own pleasure as well, it was to keep you safe, calm, controlled even. Magic memory removal tends to have nasty side effects if one's life isn't watched properly, and conditioning you into babyhood was the best way to do that." She then smiled warmly. "I love taking care of you, though. And I love you."
"Well…” Mind briefly had to search for an answer that blurred the lines between honesty and politeness. “For what it's worth, I actually kind of like it too. You're a good mommy."
"Thank you, sweetheart." Mantra's ear flicked as she heard the fading in strings from the vinyl player. Mind felt himself being lifted out of his high chair and onto his hooves very swiftly. "I love this song~ Dance with me~"
On her command, the two took adequate distance from the dinner table, embraced, and shared slow rhythmic movements with one another. Pulses and heartbeats raced as the song picked up tempo; Mantra led their movements as the piece's pace picked up. Mind gazed into Mantra's eyes, the light reflecting off of them shifting around and getting brighter. He broke the gaze and took lead. Mantra, taken aback by the sudden shift, followed his movements without any struggle or qualm from her to try to take it back. He remembered the piece; an absolute timeless classic that proved powerful even in the face of amnesia.
Mind felt a familiar pressure build up mid dance. He couldn't believe it; of all times. He was confident he could hold it in, at the very least until the end of dinner. He was counting down the bars in the song in his head, breaking no sweats and not falling out of rhythm. Just two more quarter notes. E… A-flat… A!
The very last note was accompanied by a loud splortch, and the stallion felt the rear of his diaper fill right where he stood. Despite the noise and his pink-plastered face giving it away, Mantra leaned in after their final move and embraced Mind once again. A wet tap echoed across the hardwood in the white silence. A sniffle accompanied the mare’s aura drying the trail that streamed down her cheek from her now pink eyes. Her hoof, in veiled excitement, reached for his rear end.
"I didn't mean for that to happen. I'm so very sorry." The stallion covered his eyes and face in embarrassment. He lay on the changing table in his nursery, stripped of his tuxedo top, leaving only his, now untaped, soiled diaper to be properly disposed of..
"Don't apologize," His caregiver slid the soiled garment away, scooping up as much as she could with the already thoroughly used pant, then started cleaning him up, running wipe after wipe along his plot. "A foal has to do what he has to do afterall." She said with a smile.
"But I'd hate for your perfect evening dinner to end with this."
"Oh hush, I couldn't have asked for a better end to it, mush butt." After taping her date up in a thick, fresh, powdered diaper, she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Good boy, using your diapees like a good baby." Mind didn’t even lower his hooves, still squeamish. "Well, let's get you ready for bed. I bet that dinner and the subsequent diaper filling tired you out."
Mind, now only donned in a diaper, followed Mantra through the his primary series of rooms then was cradled telekinetically up the foyer stairs; Mantra commented on him being much too little to walk around in unfamiliar areas of the house. Up the stairs to the north side of the house and through a large set of double doors, the stallion was let down on a king-sized bed which wore a thick ivory quilt with violet lines. The color scheme of the rest of the room and its furniture matched the bedspread.
"You can snuggle with Mommy in the big bed tonight." The mare’s eyes remained shining pink and she pulled out a dark blue hoofed sleeper from the wardrobe. Of course she had a sleeper planned for if she ever took him up to the bedroom. Her dress then lay on the floor, and the mare lay next to her foal on the bed, coddling him close, feeling the soft fleece captivate her hoof.
"I love you with all my heart, Mind." A pair of lips smacked against the stallion’s head. "I know this might all still seem weird to you, but I couldn't have asked for a better baby, and I really hope you think I'm a good mommy."
"I love you, Mommy." His blue pacifier gently floated into his mouth, and he gave in to multiple sleep-inducing suckles.
"I love you too, sweetheart. Sweet dreams." Magic gripped his lower hoofs and he was gently brought into a curled position, then Mantra slowly reached her hoof to his rear, groping it generously and making plenty of crinkles, and she pressed on it more and more. Her irises still radiated pink and her other hoof found its way into her groin. She quickly suppressed what sparked through her. Watching a little colt innocently suckle on his pacifier helped her to do so. Mind slowly closed red eyes that remained vacant in ignorance of sparks alighted in her. "As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal."
Mantra's lips pressed against Mind’s head, making a smacking sound when she pulled away.
"Good morning, sweetheart~" Mind nursed on his pacifier with a smile. Mantra then turned him onto his back, unzipped the blue hoofed sleeper, and checked his fluffy pant underneath. "Oh wow, bone dry~" She smirked widely before she leaned in, pressed her lips on the stallion’s exposed belly, and sent vibrations that forced him to laugh relentlessly. Amidst his raucous laughter, Mind felt a pressure become agonizing then swiftly release and a warm stream flow down his butt cheeks. And he just felt the flow go, and go, and go. The running river quickly wicked away from his rump. Mantra pressed her hoof against the now thoroughly soaked padding. "That's much better, my wittle foal." She said with a wide grin.
Assiduous pink light helped Mind out of his pajamas and lay him back flat on the bed in only his wet diaper. Mantra undid the tapes with her hoofs, his rump was lifted, then the heavy and soggy garment was slid out from underneath. She took a foal wipe and gently cleaned up his tender area before applying foal powder and massaging it into his area. Through the usual routine, Mantra made eye contact with the pony beneath her many times with her usual marigold eyes. Powder splashed onto his rear end, then her hooves started massaging it in. She then slid a new emblem-bearing diaper underneath, lowered his rump gently onto it, and taped it up snuggly.
"There we go~ Good baby."
"No spanks?"
"Nope~ You've gotten all you needed." Mantra’s bright smile then turned into a sinister smirk. "Unless you really think you need some incentive to stay out of trouble."
"N- No, I'll be good."
"Splendid~ Now, let's get you your breakfast, then we'll have playtime."
Mind would wake up next morning, and the next, and the next, in the nurturing hooves and watchful care of his caregiver. She helped make it really easy for him to give into it now. All of it. By the end of the week, he had completely accepted his place as a foal, forgetting more and more each day about being an adult, and even pondering about what his adult life before all this was like. It was all a mere shelter, but it felt to the both of them like paradise.
A few days later, Mind was surprised with another playdate with Snow Blitz, and with neither parental figure in the mansion with them yet again. The sound of the front door closing put a smile on his face; he was eager to share tales of his delightful week with his best friend.
"Yeah, I got ungrounded early. It pays to be good."
"It really does, I'm glad you have a daddy that makes you happy. I've been so happy with my mommy."
"You have?” Snowy replied with a raised brow. “It doesn't seem like she lets you do much."
"Well, I don't need to. In fact, I'd prefer it that way; I'd rather be in here babying around than out there."
"Hey, I love that Azure Burst is willing to treat me small, but he still lets me have freedom. I mean, I'm not in charge by any means at all, but he still understands me like a daddy would understand his own colt. Mantra pretty much just makes you do what she wants you to do." Snowy then looked away pressing a hoof to his chin, hushing his tone, "quite ironic, actually."
"But this is a dominance game; isn't that the point to this whole baby thing?" And as soon as he said that, Mind felt Snowy’s familiar flame of anger.
"Of course not, Mind. You know there aren't really any rules to this, and-" Snowy then took a heavy sigh, rubbing his hoof along his brow. "Your lack of memory is getting frustrating to deal with."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing for shit that isn't your fault! It's just… I'm not allowed to say anything, but Mantra is keeping things from you, Mind. Very important things."
"...Like what?"
"I can't tell you.” The pegasus said with a groan prefacing his answer. “I promised Daddy."
"Didn't you say that last time?"
"Yes, and I'm not breaking my daddy's trust again.” The fiery anger was doused by a waterfall of sorrow. “You can tell me all you want about how Mantra spanked you tens of thousands of times, but the way Daddy said 'I am disappointed in you, Snowy' was just- I don't want to make him that upset with me again."
"Hey Snowy, I get you. It's perfectly fine."
"I owe you an apology too," Mind's head tilted in bewilderment, "I treated you like a criminal. Worse, I said you raped me, and you didn't deserve that. Quite honestly, you don't deserve Mantra's punishment either if you haven't had your memory all along. It's like punishing the wrong pony.
“Daddy helped me realize that I was out of line. At first, I thought he was just treating me like a child like he normally does, but he really made me realize that I really hurt you, and I really hurt him by disobeying him. I felt awful. I cried, and I mean I really cried. And I even further realized that I made you feel just as guilty as I do now, and I don’t want to make you feel that way ever again. And I’m really sorry.”
"No, I needed it. If I did something to lose your friendship before, maybe I just didn't deserve it in the first place."
"For fuck's sake, Mind," Snowy’s voice grew firm, "you're doing this thing again where you keep beating yourself up. You keep blaming yourself for unnecessary shit. Can’t you just accept my fucking apology and not twist it in a way that blames you for shit you don’t need to be blamed for?"
"I'm just trying to make things right again; to be good again."
"You are. And you are still one of my best friends. Honestly, it wasn't even your fault to begin with, and I wish I could tell you more than that, but I can't."
"And I won't twist your hoof for it."
"I know you won't." Mind soon let out a large yawn. "Nap time." The red-maned pony shook his head in response. "Come on, lay down." Snowy gently plopped a silicone nipple belonging to the blue pacifier into his friend’s mouth and pushed him to lay down on the floor next to him. Mind felt the tickling pressure in his bladder release and soak into the pant around his flanks, so much so that he couldn't help but give a sigh of relief as the garment swelled. A passing glance at Snowy's groin revealed to Mind that the pegasus was reciprocating, his diaper front gradually growing a faint yellow tint as he gave a smile. "Crinklesquish~" The pegasus positioned himself for nap time next to Mind, his diaper mimicking his onomatopoeia. Snowy snuggled up next to his friend and draped his left wing over him.
A loud smack of lips transcended the sudden darkness behind Mind’s eyelids. Blurred light soon found its way to his eyes and Mantra’s scent found its way through his nostrils.
"Time to get up, boys. And time for a change." Mantra took a sniff in the air. "Phew! Especially Snowy~ Hey Azure, what do you let this pegasus drink, liquid asparagus?"
"Shut up~" Snowy crossed his upper hooves and pouted while Mantra’s magic turned them both on their backs side-by-side. Mantra started on the pegasus first. Mind nursed away on his pacifier, watching Mantra remove Snowy's heavily soaked diaper and wipe his area with a smile behind his suckles. While doing this, he noticed the tapes on his own diaper come undone magikinetically. The aura dissipated in tandem with her humming.
"Hmmm, you need a stuffer."
"Oh, c'mon!"
"Ah ah ah." She replied as she quickly lifted the Snowy’s hind hooves to put a fresh diaper underneath then the stuffer, coated his area in foal powder, and taped him up. She then scooped away Mind's wet diaper and replaced it swiftly, wiped him clean, powdered, and taped the new diaper up as Mind could only stare up at her in response.
Snowy groaned, his hind hooves spread well, widening his stance.
"Do I really need the stuffer? I can hardly walk in this thing."
"Yes," Mantra replied matter-of-factly, "you might not be as smelly as my baby, but you're still a big potty-pants. You might possibly be an even bigger one than he is.” Mind and Mantra shared laughs at Snowy’s utter blush-plastered expense. “You boys must've had so much fun earlier if you were still napping when we got home." Snowy's caretaker slung his diaper bag around his neck, the bag rest beside him.
"Alright Snowy, let's go. We still have to hit the grocery store before heading home." The cobalt unicorn gestured his charge to follow him out of the mansion.
"You mean- You mean I have to walk through the store like this?"
"Not walk, waddle." His daddy replied with a smile. "I'm kidding, sport. I'll let you ride in the shopping cart." He speechlessly blushed. "Alright, let's go."
Later that night, Mind was settled back into the blue hoofed sleeper, his thick diaper bulging from within, and lay in his crib. Mantra gave him a kiss on the head and wished him goodnight.
"I love you, Mommy."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
"Can you tell me a bit about yourself, Mommy?"
"Myself? But why?"
"I want to know."
"Well, I'm not very good at talking about myself. How about I spend tonight thinking of it and tell you tomorrow?" Mind, being too distracted by her smile, didn’t even notice his blue pacifier floating toward him until the silicone teat was already in his mouth once again. “I promise.” She planted another kiss before turning and making her way out of the nursery. "As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal." She shut the lights off and closed the door.

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                   Chapter 6: Dark Light                   
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Chapter 6: Dark Light
Strings faded out and were swelled up by the vinyl player’s crackling. A hard click preceded the needle retracting itself and moving back into its resting position. The spinning record slowed and gradually came to a stop.
Mantra sat across the table in her sparkling blue dress. Underneath Mind’s stained bib was the tuxedo top he wore on their last dinner together. Plates were spread on the table, all of them either empty or left with scraps. An empty wine glass was rested beside the mare and her horn’s glow evanesced.
"Alright, Mind. Mommy's thought really hard about this, so listen up. I'm going to tell you everything, but first I need ask you a couple of questions, and I need you to answer them honestly." Mind set his bottle on the high chair tray and sat himself attentively. "Can you promise me that?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
"No, I need you to promise me." The unicorn’s gaze on him concentrated. "These are very important questions to me, and I need to trust that you understand the weight of a promise."
"Okay," Mind replied, taking a mildly deep breath, "I promise I'll answer your questions honestly."
"Good boy." A wet rag eagerly wiped his face clean, then her luminescent magic proceeded to untie the bib and set it in a pile with the dirty rags beside him. "First off, how much has Snowy told you?"
"Fuck!" He thought to himself, holding back raising a hoof to his chin.
"It's okay if you tell me. He's not going to be in trouble."
"Well…” His hoof then nervously scratched the back of his head. “I promised him I wouldn't tell." He was close to shaking in his seat. Relief struck him when Mantra chuckled in response.
"Okay, I'll let that question slide. It's not exactly fair of me to make you break a promise you made with him first.” Mind gave a courtesy laugh and agreed with her. “But while the weight of a promise is heavy, the weight of one’s morals should always outweigh it; sometimes we makes promises that really shouldn’t be kept. So let me make one thing clear: If he told you something hurtful about me that you’re keeping from me,” her irises were then consumed within a fiery scarlet, “you and him are in huge trouble.” Mind wore a calm veil, despite the fact that he didn’t take her threat lightly; he didn’t have anything of the sort to confess, but there was a chance she wouldn’t believe it. “But I trust I’ve raised you well enough to not give into peer pressure or be influenced by another pony’s delinquency. You should know that what Mommy says goes.” Her eyes changed back to normal and she smiled brightly. “Next question, then: Do you think I've been a good mommy?"
"Well, I'm not actually a baby-"
"C'mon Mind, you're smarter than that. You know I wouldn't be doing this if I wanted an actual foal to take care of. I’ll ask again: Do you think I've been a good mommy?"
"Well, you've certainly played the part of a mother. It's almost as if when you look at me, you see an actual foal, instead of an adult in diapers. It took a bit for me to get used to, but I can safely say I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together. So yes, I think you're a good mommy."
"You came up with that answer rather fast." Mind cracked a toothy smile in response. "I kind of expected that, though. But now for my last question: If you had to choose between me and going back out into the world and living an adult life, which would you pick?"
"Oh boy.” Mind pressed his hoof to his chin, the middle joint in his front hoof acting as an elbow resting on the tray. “I haven't really thought about that... Well, not since the start of-” He then cleared his throat. “I guess- Well- Maybe- Hmm…” His thoughts were a vortex, which came as a surprise to his quick-articulating nature, and he felt she couldn’t wait on him to come up with an answer. “I do love you, but I feel like I need to know more about- No, we do need to know more about each other. I would choose you if we did, but all we've covered for weeks is the mommy and baby part of the relationship. Yeah… Yeah, I'd definitely choose you if we made that effort." The stallion then sat himself proper to hide his unfounded confidence in his answer.
"But what if mommy and baby was all we ever did? Would you still want to stick around?"
"I- Uhm… Yes. Yes, I'd stay with you.”
Mantra's ear flicked as she tilted her stimied head. "You made it seem like you wanted a conventional relationship and then chickened out of that answer." Her irises then changed to scarlet once more. "You're not lying, are you?"
"No! No!" Mind said with his face full of panic, then fully regretted his reaction in fear of any further answers he’d give her to be perceived as complete fallacy. He never really put it together until now that her eye color changes were governed by her emotions; even if she was calm, her scarleting eyes always put Mind on edge, but him physically feeling her emotions sent his heart into two-legged gallops, and he was hoping he wasn’t giving away his seemingly-psychic connection with other ponies’ feelings either. "I'm still thinking about this as I go." Mantra's eyes went back to her usual marigold without change in her body language. "Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to return to the world. Not after what I did. Whatever I did."
"So…" Mantra said as her eyes faded to a turquoise. "So I'm just an alternative to being ostracized."
Mind’s heart fluttered even more and he struggled in vain to think of how to word his way around it. He didn’t feel like she could sob at any second, but the drastic changes attempted to send the room into a spin around him. He snapped out of his funk within a few seconds and took a few more in silence to come up with a tactful answer, but she hit the nail on the head.
"Yes." He said. Mantra took a heavy sigh and rested her head into her hoof.
"'Yes' he says. Not even an 'it's not like that' or a 'but I still love you'.” She took a pause in anticipation of her charge saying something, only for her to break the silence once more. “But, it's perfectly fine. I've fulfilled one of my greatest fantasies, and I'm glad you were a part of it. Maybe you're right, and maybe we should start building an actual relationship. That is, if you still want to."
"I'd like that, Mantra.”
"Hey," she said, her tone growing lighter, a smile breaking out again, and her eyes changing back to their default color, "it's still 'Mommy' to you, or else I'll have to start paddling your butt again." They both shared a chuckle.
“Now wait, that isn’t normal.”
"I said ‘actual’, you silly foal. Now listen up and let me tell you my story.
"My real name is Polyamory, and I have a thing for acting like a little filly and using foalish things for their true purposes, and this includes wearing diapers. Which means that I am what you know as an AFDL: Adult Foal, Diaper Lover. My childhood was interesting, to say the least. I was an only child and grew up without a father, but my mom and I were pretty rich, due to my family’s long history with the Royal Pony Sisters, so my mom and I managed well. I got whatever I wanted as long as I was a 'well-behaved young mare'.
"I think I was around four years old when my aunt visited us, and that was when I decided to steal one of my foal cousin's diapers. I snuck into the bathroom and put it on, and damn, was it so comfy~ The soft padding rubbing against my pussy and the way it fit so snuggly around my butt. I came out of the bathroom all bubbly and giggly, and my mom caught me. My mom never hit, but she did scold, and my aunt was so disgusted with me that I haven’t seen her since that day.
"I was four, so I didn't understand then what I did wrong. Like a lot of other AFDL’s, I’ve had many years worth of attempts at acquiring diapers and getting caught with them… Many many times. Every time, I was scolded. And every time, I felt more ashamed of myself. Like I said, I could've gotten anything I wanted if I behaved, so I tried getting rid of my diaper desires, but they wouldn't go away. And honestly, to me nothing feels as great as a fluffy diaper taped around my flanks. As I got older, I tried out bottles and pacifiers too, finding them quite nice as well. And while my best friend, Peppi, was a good friend to confide it into, she didn't share these desires; so I couldn't expect her to fully understand.” Mantra then stood out of her chair and magically lifted her dress to remind the colt across from him of the mark borne on her flanks. “I got my cutie mark when I was babying my plushies.
“I wasn’t exactly the kind of filly that would play house with dolls, but I wasn’t exactly a tomcolt either. I used to have plushies that would go on epic magical adventures to save Equestria from evil. But sometimes, I’d make up little misadventures for them whenever Equestria didn’t hang in the balance; most of them involved them accidentally turning themselves into babies with a spell, or ‘accidentally’ turning themselves. And then my mark appeared. My mom said it meant that I was destined to be a wonderful mother and motherly kind to others, but at the time I was thoroughly convinced it just meant I was destined to be a foal.
"One day, when I was fourteen, my mom caught me in my room watching baby shows and sucking on a pacifier… And my diaper was heavily soiled. It wasn't a pretty picture, needless to say. After I cleaned up and showered, she said to me 'Poly, for ten years we've been doing this same old song and dance. What is it going to take for you to get out of this diaper phase?' And I tried explaining to her that it wasn't a phase. 'How do you think this all makes me look? Do you know how awkward the servants feel being around you? You constantly asking for privacy and telling them to not tell me about your little trips for foal supplies? I just don't want other ponies to think you're crazy.' I couldn’t stop crying. All the disappointment coming from her. All the shame I felt. I felt like I was so out of place, like such a freak. Back then, I would’ve given anything to get rid of this side of me. But I knew these desires were never going to go away and thought that I would grow up only to become a blight on society; the only mare in the world who loved to wear diapers.
"That same night, my mom caught me trying to take my own life. I never saw my mom cry so much before. But after that, things changed; she stopped scolding me about the diapers and would sometimes even joke about them. I found that kind of amusing, actually. One time, she barged into my room and started putting my laundry away saying that she didn't want someone else to interrupt what I was doing… And I was masturbating in a diaper, and she treated it like she saw nothing. She wasn't trying to discourage me anymore, but she wasn't trying to understand it either.
"Four years after my suicide attempt, my mom was diagnosed with NUT Midline Carcinoma, a very rare untreatable form of cancer, and she survived for eight months. Today is actually the sixth year anniversary of it. With her last breath, she told me she loved me and was proud of me. In the moment, I was crying and begging her to stay with me. But after all that, I couldn't wrap my head around what she said; I don't want to say she lied, but how could she say something like that when she couldn't even accept the part of me that made me me? Or did she? Maybe she did finally come around and never told me until then?
"So, the manor is my inheritance, and the servants and guards no longer work here. I really wanted to be alone, so I fired them all. Although, some of them were already putting in their resignations to my mother, knowing I would inherit the mansion after her passing. I spent the following weeks converting rooms to allow me to live the ultimate AFDL life. I wore diapers for weeks straight, sometimes I’d be in the same diaper for a day and a half at a time, all to keep the pain away, but of course the pain never really went away.
“I changed my name to 'Mantra' because I felt like such a disappointment to my mother that I felt like I didn't even deserve my name anymore. Since then, I've become a different pony; much happier and more accepting of my fetishes, but of course I also wanted a lover who's an adult foal as well."
A pause prompted Mind to take another drink from his bottle before speaking again.
"I'm very sorry."
"Well, it's all in the past. Sure, it’s a jagged past, but I’m completely alright with that. Sometimes our pasts help make us who we are for the better. They help us learn to have empathy; to desire not to make our problems anypony else’s, especially if they have problems of their own.”
“I glad I couldn’t agree more. Usually ponies with pasts like that only use them to seek out attention and pity.”
“Are you sure you have amnesia?” Mantra replied with a chuckle.
“I guess it doesn’t take amnesia to tell that you're a strong mare." Mind gave her a genuine smile. Mantra chuckled once again.
"Oh, that’s not true at all."
"Whatever you say." The two shared a laugh then Mind drank from his bottle once more, watching a wine bottle levitate and pour into her glass. "So, why did you pick me?"
"Because you're adorable, of course." Mantra said with a smile and a quick sip. Mind retorted with a skeptical raise of his eyebrow and crossing of his front hooves. "So… that story about the sorcerer?"
"Oh?"
"You might not like what you're about to hear, but before you fell into my care, you were using magic to abuse others. I didn't want you to remember it, so I gave you a magic amnesia drink."
"Well, I figured that much out when my best friend couldn’t even bare to look at me. Perhaps I'm better off not remembering. And you babying me is the punishment for it?"
"Do you think it's a punishment?"
"It's- It felt like it was supposed to be, but I grew to like it."
"See, the amnesia elixir has a side-effect. It… It reduces your libido, and with that, your fetishes. And since you’ve lost your memory, well… Yeah."
"So I’m an adult foal too." Mind said putting his hoof to his chin again.
"And a DL. The libido reduction works out too; if I were to play mommy to you without the elixir, it wouldn't have been a learning experience. I wanted you to learn to love me like a baby would actually learn to love his mommy. On the other hoof, some things are just hardwired, which would explain why you were much more open to my care than most others would be."
"I just thought it’d be best to play along; I wasn’t exactly in a situation where I could fight my way out, but your theory makes more sense; the elixir should’ve wiped all my memories, but I was still able to remember some things; the songs from the record player, Dragon Paws, Snowy. And I did feel invited during a good part of this whole thing.”
“Honestly, there’s a lot I don’t know about the elixir. Actually, you might know more about it and will be able to explain it after I give you the antidote tonight.”
"Tonight? You’re certain?”
"Yes. I wasn’t so sure before going into this dinner, but now I think we should take our love to the next level with no regrets. You'd be getting back your memories of your magic and all, but you'd also be getting back your love of diapers and your love of being babied. And with your old loves rediscovered, I hope your love for me grows stronger."
"Mommy knows best, afterall.” Mantra magically raised her wine glass.
“To new beginnings?”
“To new beginnings.” He had plenty of time to prepare his bottle to tap against the wine glass as it gently floated over to him.
The tuxedo top and the sparkling blue dress lay scattered on the tan carpet floor, their former wearers coddling each other in Mantra’s king sized bed, draped in a white comforter. The room was illuminated only by the glow of her magic and the moonlight piercing the second story window.
A bottle carrying a turquoise liquid was held up to Mind’s mouth, shortly balanced in Mantra’s hoof after gently floating toward them. The two nodded at each other and Mind opened up his mouth. She gently put the bottle into place, and he suckled away, downing the surprisingly sweet elixir. Each swallow, Mind felt his heart beat harder and faster, nervous about the incoming effects. He felt Mantra's heart beat beside him as she stared into his eyes with a smile, its genuine confidence seeping into the stallion’s thoughts.
After rewarding her gentle pats on his back with a large belch, she held him close and stroked his head. A light whimper from the stallion forced Mantra's eyes to turn turquoise again. Mind grit his teeth as he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. The pain soon spread quickly around his whole head and panic took hold of him. Mantra shushed him as he whimpered, and she put his blue pacifier in his mouth. He bit down on it to help suppress the pain, but it soon became too much for him. Whimpers then turned into loud cries. In Mantra’s periphery, the pacifier fell to the bed. The mare made a grasp for it with her magic on instinct, but the aura around it quickly disappeared. Mantra tried her hardest to calm her charge. Streams stained her cheeks and her bedspread.
The room was now alight by the white lamp, the night sky even darker than earlier. Tears fell from Mind’s eyes relentlessly. Mantra's warm embrace struggled to force comfort onto him. The pain of the elixir had already subsided, replaced by all the cold memories flooding back. The two hadn’t even tried to say a word to each other. With a few sniffles and his voice breaking, the stallion finally worked up the courage to force a mutter.
"I'm a fucking monster."
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am."
"No, you're not."
"I hurt so many-" He was interrupted by the pacifier entering his mouth again, gagging him as the guard was pressed into his lips with her magic.
"No, Mind! Listen to me!" Mantra turned him to gaze into her now scarlet eyes. His heart actually didn’t pound against his chest; his fear of her dominance wavering in the presence of all the dark light the elixir shone upon him. Her threats were nothing compared to the penance he felt he owed. "You're not a monster. Now, you're going to stop feeling guilty over nothing, and you're not going to argue about it."
And he took her command of silence as his way to repent, and continued to nurse on it to help feel in place as a foal like she wanted him to be, and like how he wanted to be now. She held him close to her, burying his head into her breast as she stroked his mane.
"Just sleep off the pain, my little foal. I promise tomorrow things will be all better." She gazed down, seeing him still staring blankly into the sheets. "As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal."
He shortly found himself giving into her words, and soon able to close his eyes and subside his rampaging thoughts. Mantra's horn glowed, raising the blanket over the both of them, and a drop made a patter against her pillow. She closed her turquoise eyes.
Author's Note
Sometimes, revelations can be hard for us to take in, even if they're what we really need to hear, and what we need to live with. Those who can't live with all of who they are in the light are doomed to stumble in darkness trying to hide it.

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                Chapter 7: You Missed, Pal                 
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Chapter 7: You Missed, Pal
Mind’s nightmares that night came at him all in an amalgam. Blood-curdling screams, whimpers from screams that were forced to be held back; a hellish string of memories of him abusing ponies that he didn't wake from until morning. When he awoke, he gave a reflexive suckle to the silicone nipple resting on his tongue. His feelings for the pacifier had changed significantly since the night before; truthfully he would now find solace in having a pacifier gag to keep the nipple from falling out at night.
The diaper in between his hind legs also felt much more comforting than it did before. His half-awake daze served well to help him give into what felt right to him, and staved off his guilt. Mantra’s scent laced the sheets where she lay the night before. The stallion’s head turned all around the room, not finding the pink mare in sight.
With a bit of stretching, Mind squirmed and whinnied in delight at the thick plastic core brushing against his thighs, spreading his hind hooves, and causing his ears to flick at the loud crinkles. He was aroused for the first time in Mantra's care, feeling the soft inside of his diaper tickle his stallionhood in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time, almost like it were his first time again, and he had rosy cheeks to show for it. As he pressed his hoof into his groin, he moaned from behind the pacifier’s guard and gave it a couple suckles reflexively, exacerbating his arousal.
Mind brewed a storm: His harsh breathing served as the winds, the nuks of his pacifier were the rain, and the crinkles continued to thunder. His heart beat much harder, and he soon found himself putting two hooves at his groin. He rolled over onto his belly, keeping both hooves intent on massaging himself, but now using the bed to add more pressure. Mind wanted what he was feeling to last forever, but he was helpless to the sensation sweetening and sweetening. His eyes closed, his body shook, his hind hooves were almost stretched to hyperextension, and he soon felt the lightning strike silently into his diaper. His pacifier suckles grew stronger as he breathed heavily through his nose, feeling his heart race. How long had it really been since he did this?
"Aww, did my naughty boy get a wake-up fap in?" Mind immediately grabbed a pillow and hid his head under it disgracefully. His cheeks were practically bursting into flames at the very mercy of Mantra's tantalizing voice. The glowing pillow flew away and the giggling mare pounced next to him, laying down. Her glowing horn coaxed the pacifier to escape his lips. Mantra replaced it quickly with a bottle, pulling the stallion close to her to help him down the dark red drink. "Now, make sure you clean the pipes." Mind gave a mortified yelp, muffled by the silicone teat capturing his tongue. He could only close his eyes and blush in response to this statement, the waterfall of cranberry juice in his throat. He shortly felt himself give in to thoroughly soaking the awaiting pant. The purple liquid depleting gave the bottle its full shade of blue back. "Don't you feel so much better now, baby?" Mind couldn’t hide the memories bugging himself again, which instilled a heavy sigh from the mare enveloping him. "You're going to be okay, little one. I know it's a lot to take in, but Mommy will take care of you. Maybe if you fap again with your padding now wet you'll feel better." Her words just kept melting him, which forced chuckles to pass her lips. Her smile contagiously spread to the stallion in her hooves. "Fun fact: When you masturbate or have sex, almost all of your thought processes take a backseat. Your instincts know that worrying about your past isn't nearly as important as the magnificent feeling of what your stallionhood is meant to do." She continued glancing at him, finding his blushing nowhere near close to fading away. "Besides, it's healthy for you. But nopony does it for the health. But of course, you already knew this; you are a nursing student afterall."
Mind was being fed the last of a mushy pea breakfast. He felt physically numb, reluctantly opening his mouth for another spoonful that ended up diving back into the pile of green goop instead.
"I think my baby's tummy is all full." She pet his mane and took the bowl away, placing it underneath the sink’s crying faucet. He was conflicted, though; he felt the need to let his memories prey upon him, a sense of responsibility that wasn’t being taken. He was helplessly, yet comfortably, numbed to it. Mantra's relentless condescending cooing, spoonful after spoonful of food being put into his mouth, and the high chair pressing his warm soggy diaper against him all touched him in ways it seemed even magic would not achieve. Ways that he seemed to crave, even.
Mind gazed at the white ceiling of his nursery that contrasted with the blue walls. The strong scent of foal powder around him provoked him to clap his hooves and left him unable to contain his excitement for the impending special moment. It was a moment that would be much more intimate now with his desires back; his first diaper change. Mantra's magenta magic gripped the tapes on his diaper, opening it up, causing his ears to flick with loud rips of tapes coming undone from the landing zone. The aura then took hold of his hind hooves to lift up his rump, leaving it an open target for the foal wipes to land.
"Somepony is happy~" Mantra said in a melody.
"I'm sorry!" Mind's face flushed red completely and he covered his face.
"It's okay, baby. You can't help what you like and you shouldn't try to hide it. Now, I know you’re excited, but please hold still, baby." She replied, following it up with a kiss on his forehead. "Mommy should probably get used to this too, huh?" Mind felt a cold draft caress his tender spot attempt to break his gaze from the mare above him, as did the peripheral viewing of magic guiding away the heavy garment and used wipes. The fresh diaper raised into his sight had baby blue landing zone and leak guards. The tapes proudly presented a darker shade of blue, and the core was covered in babyish stick sailboat and baby block designs. The pant was then slid underneath his plot as foal powder was sprinkled onto his privates. Her tender hoof gently massaged the powder into his skin, and then the crinkling pant was taped up. "Don’t worry about peeing overtop; after a while you should calm down." She said with a grin spread ear to ear, then gave him another kiss on his forehead, the grinned wiped off after. "I know I can't stop you from thinking about it, but I'm going to try as hard as I can. I know it's a lot, but If I can keep you happy right now, even if it’s by means of distraction, soon a day will come when you don't need to be distracted anymore."
"I love you, I really do. But-"
"But nothing, sweetheart." The mare gave Mind a dominating stare that he knew he couldn't argue with.
"I love you, Mommy."
"I love you too." Mind's face plastered completely red again as he felt himself readjust, his eyes gazing at Mantra's horn as it shed her aura. "Time to get dressed now. We got a big day ahead of us."
"Wait, we're going out?" Mind asked apprehensively.
"You make it sound like a baby going out and about in his diapers is so unprecedented. You’re such a silly boy." Mantra helped him sit upright, then prepared a baby blue shirt and slid it over his head. The words "Because Friendship" were printed on the front, decorated in a flowery meadow and hearts. "And now I just have to pack your diaper bag."
"Mommy, don't you think I should have something to go over my diaper? I'm worried that other-"
"Sweetheart, babies have nothing to worry about. And who would question something as simple as a baby wearing a diaper? A lot of ponies walk around naked anyway; if anything, you’re more dressed for the day than they are." Her magic continued to carry supplies out of the changing table cubbies below him. "Besides, the only thing I have that could go over your diapees are overalls and shortalls, but we can’t have my baby getting rashes."
"How did you know I'm allergic?"
"Because I'm your mommy, silly."
“Stupid question.” He rolled his eyes.
The two walked out through the front door to be greeted by the late-morning sun; a reasonable time for just about anyone in town to be walking around. A blue diaper bag slung around Mantra's neck, resting at her side. Mantra wanted him to walk with her. His thick poofy diaper gave him an askew gait that would show with each hind step he took. Mind felt all the heat in his head from his blushing pink face. He remembered how he used to like going out in public diapered clandestinely back when he was taking full advantage of his magic, and even before that, but now he was worried about what others would think of him. To his surprise, he didn't hear anyone hush as they passed, nor did he get very many glances. He received no signs of disturbance in other ponies’ feelings as he crossed them either.
Mind was also shocked to realize he and Mantra were walking Ponyville streets. The streets weren’t too familiar to him, nor was the adult sized playground that brushed his thoughts in revelation; he spent so much time studying magic that he didn’t go outside for walks that deviated from a strict path. Chances he had come across the streets without him realizing were probable, but he most certainly would’ve remembered an adult sized playground; an AFDL playground, to be more precise. But he knew for sure the yellow thatched roofs and the plain paved streets around them were certainly of his home town, and the village even remained untainted of its vibrant colors, courtesy of a certain precocious curly-maned pony who happily lived within it. As soon as he questioned to himself why the village would be stripped of said vibrant colors, a wicked memory of his experience with that pink-coated blue-eyed pony struck him with a loud ring like a hammer to an anvil.
Ironically, he wanted to walk the streets of Ponyville with his diaper in plain sight; he claimed that there’d be no-one in Equestria to tell him otherwise. He refrained out of the conscience of exposing his fetish to families and children; while the world has come a long way in accepting unorthodox lifetyles, he felt the world wasn’t ready for foals-at-heart quite yet.
"Sit here, sweetie." On her command, Mind plumped his plot down on the park bench with a crinkle that was obscured by the open outside. His caretaker then took a seat beside him and coddled him gently. "Today is so beautiful. A couple of bright clouds, the sunlight is strong, the breeze is gentle; this is really the best day you're going to have."
"We'll see, I suppose."
"'I suppose' he says." Mantra replied with a chuckle, and then with a turn of her head and a wave of her hoof, she shouted called out to someone. Mind turned his head toward whom Mantra was calling out to: It was a stampeding Snowy coming straight at them, calling Mind's name loudly and repeatedly. Snowy embraced the red-maned stallion and swung around his neck with a hug, forcing Mind to yelp and stumble off the bench to his hooves.
"What's up!?" The very cheery pegasus said to him.
"What's gotten into you!?" He gazed at his entwined friend, who was donned in a shirt that matched his, same with his diaper, saved for the baby pink leak guards. "Why are you so hyper and wearing pink?" The pegasus gave childlike laughter in response which spread to Mantra. It was clear that Snowy was under a spell of some kind.
"I'm just happy to see my buddy, and it's really not a lot of pink. Not that pink diapers aren't awesome~" Mind’s involuntary emotion prodding confirmed that the pegasus indeed only felt the happiness he normally felt around his friends. Azure Burst caught up to his foal-at-heart to give him pets on the head and exchanged greetings with the rest of the party.
"I put him in special diapers," the cobalt-coated stallion clarified, "they're enchanted to help him feel little. I wanted to make sure he was as happy as could be.” He then opened the diaper bag slung at his side magikinetically. “I have a few more if you want to put Mind in one."
"He'll be fine," Mantra replied, "he's been really good about not being grumpy about his ordeal.” A clench of her cheeks made a tantalizing tone trail off her sentence while her magic pinched her charge’s cheek. “Shall we be off, then? And don't ask where we're going; it's a surprise."
The four trotted toward their destination. The babysitters led the way while occasionally looking back at the foals behind them. Snowy stuck to Mind like glue the entire way, stumbling over each other's hooves many times, which forced a giggle out of the pegasus every time. Mind suppressed rolling his eyes as hard as he possibly could because he knew Snowy was having the time of his life. And even though he was annoyed, he truly appreciated having his old friend back.
The path went uphill through a thin forest. Sunlight was further down along the path. The forest exit came to them as the hill stopped climbing, and in the distance, past the open field, was an amass of tents along with all sorts of rides, games, and food; a carnival.
"Surprise~" Mantra and Azure said together. Mind widened his eyes at the sight then winced at the squeal that shortly followed. Snowy was hopping around in pure childish joy.
"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" The bouncing giggly pegasus ran off ahead and spread his feathered wings, and then broke into flight, only to be pulled back and grounded by a stallion’s magenta aura.
“Please Snowy, I told you to stay close.” Chuckles emitted from Mind at the expense of Azure roping in his charge, and before Mantra’s marigold observing eyes.
After a healthy trip down the hill, they all went through the front doors to the carnival. The place was hustling and bustling with ponies at every event. Adults and children. Mind's face flushed a strong pink; he was about to walk around the entire carnival, his diaper in plain sight to hundreds of ponies. But like the walk on the path, no-one spared a single glance at him.
"I know what you're feeling," Mantra said leaning into him with raised volume in her voice, "and you don't need to worry. This carnival is for fillies and colts of all ages." She gave him a smirk. Mind's face flushed brighter as he felt something press against his rear end.
"Come on! Let's go, Mind!" The pushing on Mind's fluffy rear was the pegasus’ head, his friend refusing to budge.
"You heard him," Mantra said, "just be your foal self and have fun."
"Move, stinkybutt!"
"H- Hey! Who are you calling a stinkybutt!?" Mind said as his face stayed apple red.
"The only one here who poops in his poof, now move!" With another ram, Mind felt his hooves lifting off the ground, looking down to find Mantra's magic aura encompassing them. She urged both of them to go play, but not to wander too far. Upon her release, Mind put on a smile and did his best to keep up with Snowy. Azure and Mantra leisurely walked side-by-side.
“‘The only one here who poops in his poof.’” Azure said with a smirk, making the mare beside him blush.
“Oh hush~”
“I was talking about- Uhm, totally not myself.” Mantra rolled her eyes, knowing full well he was baiting her to make a demeaning remark, which she wanted to bite on, but she knew they would engage in a button-pushing banter with one-another that she knew she would lose.
“Nice try, Azure. I have a foal who needs me in full caregiver mode today.” He gave her a proud smile.
With Snowy leading the way, the two ran around the carnival together, playing games and having fun, making constant jokes at the expense of each other's diapers and diaper-related activities. While a dark cloud still brewed over Mind’s head, the day only got better and better the more him and the pegasus played. They even saw two other adult pegasi, donned in diapers in plain sight, launching balls with their wings at a target basket. Mind exchanged a long enough glance at them to get a smile and a wave, which he politely returned. He also got a passing glance at a couple of earth ponies dressed in shortalls that would’ve been too big for them if it weren’t for the thick diapers bulging from within.
Mind was somewhat disappointed he didn’t recognize them, given how small the AFDL community was in Ponyville. But he wasn’t surprised; he was so caught up in his studying that he didn’t feel the need to expand his small circle of friends, especially with one as close to him as Snowy.
"Let's go back to the strength tester later and throw your butt on it. Your soggy diaper will be five-hundred pounds, you'll win for sure~" Mind clenched a ring in his teeth and swung his head to give it a great toss forward, not even reaching the ringer.
"Hey, you missed, pal." Snowy said with a smirk.
"I'm going to throw you at the ring toss."
"Without magic? Good luck, stinkybutt."
"You have hollow bones, I can do it… Actually, probably not, since you’re soggy all the time. Your diaper gets so soaked you can't even fly."
"Good thing you can't fly, otherwise the weather ponies would pass out from your stench and fall out of the sky."
"You know, we've been here for a couple hours now. You've probably been due for a change… A couple of hours ago~"
"You're the one whose diaper is in jeopardy."
"Says the one who's actually wet." Mind said as he pressed his hoof on Snowy's rump. The carnival was too congested with noise to hear anything, but he knew the warm swelling of a wet diaper when he felt one. "Wow,” he then raised his head to the sky and shouted to the heavens “you're actually really soaked, soggybutt!"
"Stinkybutt!" Snowy replied mortifyingly.
"Potty-pants."
"You're a potty-pants too! At least I’m not a baby!"
"Alright boys," Mantra said as she walked up behind them both, "time for lunch." Her hoof then ran along the pegasus’ padding. "Oh, and to take care of some yellow snow." Mind laughed at the expense of Snowy's embarrassment, and then immediately squeaked when he was victim to the same hoof.
There was a sandwich shop nearby. Snowy was flapping his wings, flying around in figure eights a few feet off the ground, chanting for subs when Mind leapt up and wrapped his hooves around him, dragging him to the ground and rolling around in the grass with him. Raucous laughter echoed through the open sky. The entanglement was shortly broken off by the adults, albeit they were amused by how much fun they were having. Azure made note of a secluded shrubbery right outside the shop and he told Snowy to follow him in, to which Snowy protested, claiming he wasn't super wet and could wait until after lunch.
"No, you can't wait. C'mon, buddy, bushes."
"But… But… Other ponies will see us." Snowy replied with his cheeks completely flushed. His caretaker hesitated to press, but gained his confidence back as soon as he exchanged gazes with Mantra.
"No-one is going to see you, Snowy. The potties are too far away and you're very close to leaking. March, mister."
"Yes, Daddy." Snowy begrudgingly lowered his head and did as he was told.
"Why don't you two stand watch to help keep my little guy more comfortable?"
"Stand and watch him get changed?" Mind asked. "Sounds good to me." They shared a laugh before Mantra called his name and ordered him to stand beside her, which he obliged. He was rewarded with a kiss on his cheek.
"Do you need to go potty at all, sweetie?" Mantra asked with a warm smile and a hushed tone to keep the pair a few feet away from hearing them.
"I'm fine."
"Mind, it's perfectly okay. I know going potty outside is a hard milestone to make. Even foals-at-heart who want to do it have a hard time."
"I want to do it, but I really don't need to go right now."
"Well, Mommy would love to help her baby relax if he's having trouble~"
"I'll let you know when I need to go, Mommy."
"You're making me wish I gave you the antidote much sooner than I did. You're such a natural at being a baby."
"I had practice~"
"Soon, you'll be able to fill them up without second thoughts."
"I'm sorry, Daddy," Azure ran a cold foal wipe around his charge's privates, causing him to twitch and giggle slightly. "I know you're trying to take more charge, and I want that, it's just a little new to me."
"Sssshhhhhh." His caregiver put his hoof to Snowy's lips. He then reached for the foal powder, sprinkling it onto his hooves then massaging it into the pegasus’ rear. "It's okay, I know you're adjusting. Besides, it's funny watching you fight what you want." A fresh diaper shed its magenta coat as it wrapped snug around Snowy. “All done~” Azure gave him a kiss on his head, praising and petting him after. The two emerged from the bush, the cobalt-coated stallion displayed a glowing horn with matching magenta aura coated around a wet and heavy pant making its way into the trash can. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Mantra ordered two foot-long subs from the pony behind the counter while Azure ordered only one. Concern sparked from Mantra.
"You're not going to get anything?"
"I'll be alright."
"I'm a mommy, I can hear your stomach rumbling from here." She turned her head toward the counter. "I'll get three, actually!"
"I really don't want your bits, Mantra."
"I insist." She said without making eye contact with the cobalt stallion and her tone completely unchanged. Mind was compelled to interject in response to a calm demeanor that wasn’t fooling him.
"Don't argue with her. Mommy always wins."
Mind was the only one wearing a bib as they all had their lunch outside the shop, which the tables had umbrellas provided for. His blue bottle was filled with milk while Snowy had a green sippy cup filled with apple juice by his side, both of them drinking from them casually. As soon as Mind finished his meal, Mantra's magic untied his bib and pulled him into a cradle as she fed him the rest of his bottle.
With a loud crinkle, Mind sat closely behind Snowy on the tarp, wrapping his front hooves around his chest. The two scooted until the wind blew through their manes and they found themselves sliding from the top of the world - and for the twenty-third time. They quickly ran back up to the top, passing by their smiling caregivers again while they held a conversation with another pony.
"Just hang in there, Kelpy, I’m sure you’ll be seeing good things soon~” Mantra then turned her head from the aquamarine stallion to call out to the foals-at-heart. “Okay boys, last time!" And what the adults say go. They savored the last slide down, laughing on their last journey back to their caregivers. The late afternoon sun painted the sky no different than when it was climbing it, but its rays shone goldenrod over the carnival. The sky would probably be pink in about three hours.
"Daddy," Snowy proclaimed with his friend running after him and yelling at him, "the funniest thing happened!"
"No! Shut up!"
"We were at the top of the slide and Mind farted really loud just as we went down!" Snowy continued to laugh, soon finding himself on the ground, holding his ribs while his babysitter shared a chuckle, looking at Mind's fiery red face. Mantra ruffled Mind's mane endearingly.
"It's okay sweetheart," she said, "one time I was changing Snowy and he just let one rip." Snowy's blush reciprocated Mind's, and grew redder when Azure attested to it happening to him as well, then the pegasus complained that it wasn’t funny anymore. Snowy gestured the cobalt unicorn to lean into him to speak quietly into his caretaker's ear. "Does he need to go potty?" Snowy’s eyes were mortifyingly radiant and wide in response to her question. "To the potties we go, then~" Mantra exclaimed, leading the way and patting Mind's butt. "Still clean and dry, huh?"
"Mommy, why does Snowy get to use the potty and I don't?"
"Because yoooooouuuuu like pooping yourself." The mare put a mischievous smirk on. Mind silently embraced the heat in his cheeks, knowing it wasn't untrue in the slightest.
“And because you can’t be potty-trained~” Snowy cried out with a snicker following.
“Neither can you~” The two boys’ banter was swiftly broken up by Mantra, and the mare kept the party on task.
They went through the park right outside specifically to avoid the congested bathrooms provided by the carnival itself. The facility all the way at the other end of the park had no-one occupying it, and Snowy quickly rushed in, his caregiver following. This was when Mind confessed to Mantra that he needed to go for a while now, but was distracted the entire time from keeping up with Snowy’s feverish pace. He couldn't just go at the flick of a wrist like the pegasus could; he wasn't used to using his diapers outside again yet. He most certainly couldn't do it with other ponies nearby in the park and walking along the path around it. He had to do more than just wet, too. He was practically crossing his hind hooves, but he couldn't let go, despite him actually wanting to, and really really wanting to. The red-maned stallion lowered his head.
"Mommy… I need help."
"It's okay sweetheart," Mantra replied, "Mommy will help. I just need you to relax and accept that it's perfectly okay for a little foal like you to fill up his diapers wherever and whenever." She started petting his back with her hoof, and with her horn giving off its signature glow, Mind felt his tail being raised skyward and his butt cheeks being spread. He spread his hind hooves for her as well. He blushed at the idea of being in plain sight as she did all this. At first, he couldn't feel a thing, but at the drop of a hat, he felt his ears lay back and his body give way to nature's calling, and his diaper filled up very quickly. He felt the mess find its way fast into the diaper cavity, completely occupying it and starting to press against his butt. A warm stream found its way to soak the front of his diaper shortly after, wicking quickly. Mind couldn't help but smile; he really just wet and soiled his diaper outside in plain sight, everyone else nearby paying absolutely no mind to him and carrying on with their own business. He threw himself onto his front hooves, gave a good kick with both his hind hooves, and made sure it shook everything into his diaper.
"Thank you, Mommy~"
"You bucked it into place too~” The mare giggled away at the mere thought of it. “Such a cutie~”
"He almost didn't make it." Azure and Snowy emerged from the bathroom and rejoined the party. Snowy gave an unamused huff.
"But still, he did it~" Mantra said. "Good job, Snowy. We'll be ready to play again in a bit, I just have to change this little stinker." Mantra lead her foal into the bathroom with her. Mind felt a firm swat against his soiled behind and turned to find a shifty pegasus with his tongue sticking out.
A special stall in the bathroom had an adult-sized changing table, to Mind's surprise. As soon as he questioned it, Mantra stifled him with a pacifier and lay him on the table back flat. She took all the supplies out of the blue diaper bag as the tapes loudly ripped off. His hind hooves were lifted up, giving Mantra perfect opportunity to clean up his area with multiple wipes. With his plot all clean and the soiled diaper disposed of, she slid a fresh matching one into place, then doused her hooves in foal powder and rubbed it into his skin.
Mind had a new waterfall of emotions. Having someone so dedicated and willing to do something so intimate for him; treating him like the actual foal that he felt like deep inside. A foal who wanted to play and not worry about taking care of himself. One moment, he was encouraged to use his diapers for a purpose one could only expect from a small colt. The next, Mantra was taping him into a fresh one, his rear bathed heavily in the scent of powder, and feeling much cleaner than his previous messing experiences where he would have had to change himself. She gave him a kiss on his head and told him he was a good boy. All his buttons were pressed just right, and he was feeling it all for the first time in the number of weeks she was doing this.
At a well-shaded tree base lay Azure next to his charge. Snowy's mane was stroked gently as Mantra telekinetically lay Mind down beside his buddy. Snowy, keeping his eyes closed, immediately embraced him in a hug, forcing Mind to settle and close his eyes as well. He gave in to suckling on his pacifier and holding his friend close, the cool shade sending them both off to sleep.
“We have two good foals, Azure. Our hooves have barely been full at all.”
“Caregiver synergy helps reduce the hassle. It helps to know you’re not alone. Did you know-”
Mind only caught a few sentences of the adults' discussion until their words became unintelligible to him.
The rays of the sun matched Mantra's eyes, which was Mind’s first sight waking up from his nap. An assortment of carnival snacks laid out before him and Snowy: Nachos, a couple of baked pretzels, a few corndogs, and some cotton candy. It was Mind's first time eating cotton candy, actually; he was taken completely by surprise finding the silky treat quickly vanish in his mouth. He gave a tell that Mantra had to laugh at. After the meal, they made their way back into the carnival, shortly leaving for home with a few pictures of them at the photo booth, one of which Mantra and Azure took particular interest in; the one of Snowy and Mind with their matching shirts and complementing diapers in plain sight looking as happy as foals at a carnival can be.
It was almost heartbreaking to imagine these two having to part ways at the end of the day. By the time they returned home, the sky was a dark pink. Promised they would play again tomorrow, Snowy hugged Mind tightly before bidding farewell. They both wore a warm smile, knowing said promise would be kept.
Warm water roared, rushing against the porcelain bathtub floor and its plugged drain. White soapy bubbles formed where the waterfall met the pool. Mind was stripped naked, his diaper still clean and dry, and traces of foal powder still remained. Even though nude was the norm for ponies, he was helpless to himself, being so cut down to size at having clothes taken off for him; Mantra giggled, taking his particular symbol of helplessness as a compliment. His arousal was present the whole bath. Mind winced when Mantra brushed a washcloth against his lowers.
"H- Hey! That… Tickled."
"It 'tickled'? Or did you like that?" Mantra had to retract her hoof and employ an unbearable amount of self-control.
"I can tell Mommy's feeling naughty whenever her eyes turn pink." Mind had to crack a sneer at the expense of Mantra's flaming blush confirming so.
"Okay, bath time's over~" Mantra said, still keeping her tone and composure firm despite her rosy cheeks. "And you’re not one to talk about feeling naughty." Water dripped off the cleansed stallion and soaked into the white towel draped on the floor just before the bathtub. He was then wrapped into a soft towel.
"It's called Homochromic Magus Iridium." Mantra then tilted her head back and gave an amused smile. "As we know, ponies have magic coursing all throughout the body. Your brain gives chemical reactions depending on the emotions you feel, and the reaction causes the magic inside you to affect the pigmentation of your eye color. It's a very rare condition."
"Right you are~ You're so smart for such a little foal." Mantra rose her hoof and gave him a light boop on the nose.
"I can also feel your emotions. And I mean literally feel them; I can feel the patterns and reactions your brain makes, as well as everypony else's, and I know what they mean, so I can translate them."
“You can read minds?”
“It’s more like a sixth sense for other ponies’ feelings. I never really bothered to learn how to read minds.”
"Well," Mantra then gave him a kiss on the head, "maybe one day, when you’re all grown up, you’ll learn."
“It’s not that I can’t learn, it’s that reaction time-” a yawn slurred his words and broke his sentence, “sensory reaction time isn’t fast enough to-”
“Hey, I’m proud of my baby for being so smart, but how about you give that big brain of yours a rest? You had a long day, afterall.”
Mind lay on Mantra's bed, freshly bathed, freshly diapered, and placed in fresh hooved pajamas. Purple with pink soles. She lay beside him, snuggling with him while her magic held up a bottle of strawberry milk for him. He suckled away at the sweet liquid graciously.
"You had a really good day today, didn't you sweetheart?" Mind, silenced by the bottle, replied to her with a light nod. "You really have to think about all the good things that really happened, though. You stepped outside and had one of the best days ever with your best friend, and nopony made a scene about it. All every other pony saw you as today was a baby at play. They saw you for who you are in your heart; not for what you look like, nor for what someone who wasn't really you did in the past. The world really is much more progressive these days.
"I know I can't stop making you think about it, and I know it's a hard thing to look past, but I can at least try. Isn't that what a Mommy is meant to do? To make the little one she loves happy? I think it's safe to say I've made you happy." She retracted the bottle and put it on the nightstand beside the white bed once he finished. "I mean, this is really what a foal at heart can ask for. Don't you feel so much safer, Mind? Having someone feed you? The pajamas wrapping up your hoofies and keeping you snug? The thick soft padding on your cute butt? All of this I'm asking rhetorically; of course you love all this. Even under the effects of the amnesia drink, you’ve grown to love it all. And I love you with all my heart." Mantra topped off her speech planting a kiss on Mind's cheek. Her eyes still a full pink all the way from bath time, and glowing even brighter. The one smooch turned into another, and then with a deep breath Mantra rolled on top of her charge, making both their lips one.
Mind practically felt her tongue reach into his throat before he realized what she was doing. Despite the obvious hints and his sixth sense, her passionate embrace came as a surprise to him in his off-guard half-awake state. Well, maybe not so much a surprise, but the excitement Mantra felt overwhelmed him as it surged through his body in a heartbeat. He felt a spark awaken him and he reciprocated her feelings, holding her tightly and practically tying his tongue with hers. Mind felt a draft and heard a zipper coming undone. He was lifted magically off the bed by inches; high enough to feel his sleeper slide off his shoulders and upper hooves. She took herself away from his lips and exhaled deeply as she continued to relieve him of his sleeper.
"I can't wait anymore~” A loss of breath coiled her voice, forcing her to hastily inhale deeply. “Let Mommy show her baby how much she really loves him." She collapsed on top of him again, kissing him passionately again as her magic wrapped around the tapes of his diaper.
"But Mommy, I don't think foals do this." Mind was stifled by a pacifier floating into his mouth, his breathing growing heavier as he was now forced to breathe through his nose only. All sorts of spark alighted within him.
"Just be a good boy~" Mantra, her hind hooves spread wide, sat herself on top of his groin. Her marehood embraced Mind's presence, making her twitch and breathe in through her teeth as jolts coursed through all the right places. With Mind's stallionhood now firmly inside her, she gave an instinctive lunge toward it, then another and another.
Even a stallion who thought as meticulously as Mind was helpless to give in to this. He would later ponder his surprise at exploring this part of their unique relationship. But for now, there was only one focus, and it crept and crept and crept until both he and Mantra passed their point of no return.
Author's Note
Mind Fission has his memories back, for better and worse. Writing this chapter was around the time I started thinking about scientific explanations to how magic works. The more that's learned about how everything works, the more utility can be found with magic.
The potential utility of magic and how it's integrated as commonplace is really what interested me the most about this show.
And yes, this chapter's name is a blatant Retsupurae reference. :P

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            Chapter 8: Web Of Hopeless Instance            
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Chapter 8: Web Of Hopeless Instance
A pacifier bathed in a thin line of sunlight atop the nightstand. The thick curtains veiled most of the rising scarlet sun. Mantra made herself cozy beside her beloved; eyes closed, embrace warm, and her heart racing relentlessly and as one with his. Thump~ Ninety-eight. Thump~ Ninety nine. Thump~ One hun- Mind held back the squirms surging through him; the cold brushing of the foal wipe running around his groin, which then rested itself atop the open diaper he lay upon. The pant was still only secured by its tail tape, as well as completely drenched, yet its colors were untainted. The wipe found its way into the wastebasket over the bedside, its shadow receding along with Mantra’s magenta light from her horn. Being able to navigate a wipe on a sensitive area with her eyes closed is a feat most would be impressed by.
His eyes, with a shadow cast over them, started to give into the countless hours of hard work. His weary body would've put him fast asleep in that instant if a frisky mare didn’t climb on top of him once more.
"Wow, again?"
"Yes. Last time, I promise." Mantra struggled to take her lips away from him in trying to position herself.
"That's what you said the last ten times."
"You're too little to count that high, now shut up and fuck me~" She actually kept track of how many times exactly they went at it. With a spread of her legs, she found her spot once more. This time would be the thirteenth.
"Mind, you've been really quiet today. Tell me what's up."
Snowy kept his gaze on the screen and continued mashing buttons on his controller. Mantra kept her promise, and baby business was usual after that. As soon as she stepped out of the mansion with Azure Burst, Mind's thoughts were a rampaging typhoon now that he was free to talk about something that his caregiver didn’t even give him opportunity to think about before.
"Mind, what's wrong?" Snowy said, his tone much firmer as he let the controller fall out of his hooves. The diaper sported around his flanks wasn’t enchanted like the ones he wore at the carnival the day before; it was white with blue tapes and foalish designs of rattles, blocks, sailboats, hearts, and flowers all over the core.
"I'm sorry, I'm very tired," Mind replied with a scratchy voice, "Mommy kept me up all night with a lot of sex.”
"I really didn't need to know that."
“Hey, you asked.”
Snowy bottled up a spike of anger from Mind’s irritable tone and response. He rubbed his hoof against his temple, but then he realized what his answer meant.
"Wait, so does that mean you remember now?" Waves of his anger struck Mind again before Snowy could even sigh to indicate it. "For fuck's sake, dude. Stop beating yourself up."
"I did some really sick shit to you!” Mind’s head swiveled toward the pegasus with his eyes crowned in furled brows. “You had bruises and cuts on your ass! How can you even bare to look at me!?"
"Stop! Mind, listen to me," Snowy said, his brain setting off a string of fireworks, which Mind recognized as a string that particularly went off defensively, "stop beating yourself up! You're not that pony anymore! That pony never was you to begin with!"
"Snowy, I've been having nightmares."
"Because you constantly keep beating yourself up over shit that you shouldn't be beating yourself up over! This is what you've been doing even before you had mind control!"
"...So what should I do?"
"First off, you’re taking a nap because you didn't sleep a single wink last night. Second, you’re going to get over your shit." Snowy got up and practically dragged Mind to his nursery to help him into his crib. Mind didn't say a word as he was settled in, tucked in by his friend, his tired eyes carrying him asleep fast. Snowy gave a yawn while cursing at it, then climbed into the crib himself and dropped his limp body beside his friend, whose body was now paralyzed in a dream.
It felt like they only blinked, and suddenly new sunlight pierced the nursery window. Pupils were spread wide in the pegasus’ royal blue pools, and mild frustration flared when the situation struck him once more. The pony beside him lay with his eyes barely open. His pupils swayed around each decal. Ninety-eight. Ninety-nine.
“Feel better?”
“A bit.”
"You know I don't say these things to hurt you." Snowy said, rolling over and cuddling close to Mind.
“I know you don’t.”
"You have to talk to Mantra about this. It's not healthy for her to keep you running from it."
"But she won't let me talk to her about it."
"No, you're letting her keep you from talking about it. Mind, I know you like it when she takes control, but she needs to know that babying you all the time is not what you need right now."
"But what if I want her to do that? To just baby me for the rest of my life?" The pegasus then sat up beside him incredulously.
"Do you even hear yourself right now?"
"Yes, and I can even feel what you’re thinking about.” Mind sat himself up as well, leaning his back against the bars and the blue bumper cushioned between them and the mattress. “You’re thinking I’m throwing my life away."
“Because that’s what you’d be doing. You basically spent your whole life trying to be an NP, and now you’re giving up because you fell and broke a leg on your journey. Well, here’s the thing Mind, broken bones heal, and then you get up and keep going.”
“A broken leg and losing my fucking horn are two completely different things.” Tears started to well within Mind’s red eyes, and a short cry broke his breath in tandem with the weight of his guilt forcing itself past his inner dam. “I’ve always used my magic for everything. And I tried so hard to do good with my mind control, but I still let it shape me into an evil prick, and it cost me everything.”
“It didn’t cost you everything.”
“Yes it did; a career I dedicated my life to, magic unlike anypony else’s, every single one of my friends-”
“I am going to slap you if you don’t stop.”
“Snowy, I have horrible hoof coordination. I might as well be a fucking baby.” And upon his promise, Mind was clocked square in his cheek, causing his head to slam into the frame, and his limp body settled into the corner.
“So is that what you’re going to fucking do? Just be a foal for the rest of your life? You were half a semester shy of a bachelor’s degree and you have an encyclopedia of healing spells in your head, and you’re just going to throw it all away?”
“Well, it’s not like I’d be of use to anyone now that everyone in Ponyville and Canterlot hate me.” Snowy then reflexively clamped Mind between his hooves and sat him up to equal level, still gripping him and staring into his eyes.
“Mind, shut the fuck up! That’s a load of horseshit and you know it, and here’s why, and you better listen well so I can finally get it through your thick fucking skull. After I escaped your control, I never wanted to speak to you again and I wanted nothing more to do with you other than to stop you.” Snowy then released his friend and rubbed his temple again, giving Mind liberty to glance away. “After you went missing, I could’ve cared less if you were dead. But I still held onto our pictures as a reminder of one of the best friendships I ever had; I never got rid of them. And when you came back, I realized deep down I wanted that friendship back. A friendship I thought I’d never have again. And I will admit this until the day I die that this whole thing is and always will be the biggest reminder of one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my life: Friendship always prevails because friends forgive each other.”
“In fairness, you’re the only one whose diapers I’ve changed.” Mind wanted to slap himself after saying that; he didn’t even want to make eye contact with the pegasus, and this was something he usually did with Snowy whenever he would say something he didn’t really mean. And he knew, without aid of his reading, exactly what Snowy was going to say.
“Mind, you’re missing the fucking point.”
“Your point is that you, Nightward, and Trust Fall will all forgive me because we’re friends.”
“No, the point is that everypony will forgive you because it does more harm to deny somepony a second chance, and if they don’t forgive you, then fuck whatever they think.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing for shit you didn’t do. I want you to promise me something, Mind.”
“What?”
“Talk. To. Mantra. She can’t baby you to dodge these problems constantly because then it hurts worse every single time you come back to it.”
“Yeah, you’re right. And I know you’re right.”
“I know you know. Now promise me you’ll talk to her.” Mind then brought himself to make stern eye contact with the pegasus.
“I promise, Snowy, that I will talk to Mantra.”
“Good…” The pegasus then flapped his wings to gently carry himself out of the crib and set his hooves to the floor. “Now, explain to me what you meant by ‘feeling what I was thinking about’. I thought your ESP was a spell; not a magical ability.” Mind crawled out of the crib after his friend. “And can unicorns even get abilities?”
“I suppose it’s possible, but I really don’t know for sure. If I had my magic, I’d probably have an answer, but… I really don’t know.”
“Is it still the same?” Snowy asked as he started leading their way out of the nursery.
“Yeah, everything feels pretty much the same; brainwave reading, truthseeing, it’s all still there. Only I can’t shut it off.”
“That actually sounds very irritating.”
“You have no idea, dude.”
That night, Mantra lay in bed with her charge, stroking her hoof through his mane affectionately, her eyes turquoise once more. He had stressed earlier that what he had to say was incredibly important. So instead of asserting her authority as the dominant one in their unconventional relationship, she gave a necessary recess for adult conversation.
"So, is this something you really feel, or did Snowy tell you to say all this?"
"Well, Snowy's not one to give bad advice."
"That doesn’t mean you should do everything he suggests."
"Are you saying Snowy's wrong?"
"No, I'm asking you what you really want. Do you really want to go out there and try to adult then and face your problems?"
“I want to at least have that closure.”
“Well, what good is adulting really going to do for that? I’ve taken you around town a few times and nopony batted an eye at you.”
“I guess I just really want everypony I hurt to know how sorry I am.”
“I suppose we could set up some kind of PSA for you or something.”
“No, I feel like it has to be more personal.” Mantra then gave a thoughtful hum.
“Okay, I’ll have to come up with something for that. But let’s say I did come up with something and it successfully got you your closure, and you were my perfectly happy baby boy. What would you want to do after that?”
"I really don't know." Mind replied. “I wanted to be an NP ever since I mastered my microscopic magical touch, but I don't have my horn anymore. Maybe it's a sign that I should just settle down with you. Afterall, being a baby all the time is one of my greatest fantasies."
"But would you feel like you're missing out not adulting? It’s okay if you do; that’s a common feeling ponies feel with this fetish. You know this, in fact."
"I honestly feel like I've already exhausted my options. I have no magic and I can't go out there and do anything else without ponies remembering what I did. They refrain from saying anything or drawing attention out of staying polite in a public setting, some even accepted that what I did happened.”
“But you feel like they don’t feel what they express.”
“Nopony does in public.”
“Is that really what you think?”
“It’s what I know. Deep down, they know and don’t want anything to do with me.”
“Did you actually feel that with your ESP?”
“Not exactly. When ponies put on a facade in public, their anguish and inner demons are very suppressed and it’s very hard to tell exactly what they’re feeling.”
“Then how do you know that that’s what they feel?”
“Because it’s a logical thing to insinuate.”
“That’s rather cynical.”
“But I at least want them to know that I really regret what I did, even if they don’t forgive and forget.”
“I think,” Mantra gave a breath in thought, “you’re trying to weave a web of hopeless instance that ponies will just forget what you did. Of course nopony’s going to forget, and you know this. You can’t erase what you did and no-one should try to.” In absence to a response from her partner, she carried on with her train of thought. “Why does this all matter to you anyway? You’re an introvert. You’ve always been introverted. Practically everyone with a diaper fetish is introverted.”
“You’re introverted? Could’ve fooled me.”
“Of course I am, you silly colt. When you grow up in a manor full of servants who think you’re a diaper-loving freak-”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“Haha, it’s fine, you worry too much. I’m merely mentioning it as rhetoric.” Mantra’s eyes returned to their usual color while she wore a laughter-induced smile. “You silly foal: Even when we’re speaking as adults, you act like I’m going to snap on you.”
“I guess I’m just trying to be polite.”
“Why? Do you think I’m going to spank you again if you misbehave?” Mantra’s eyes then started to flush pink.
“Why?” Mind replied with a smirk and sarcasm thickly laced his words. “Why would I ever think that?” Upon that being said, Mantra slinked down, putting herself a couple of inches below eye level with Mind. Tilting her head upwards to gaze into the stallion’s red eyes, she put a mischievous tone in her voice.
“I bet,” her hoof then snaked itself onto the back of his thigh of his left hind hoof, gently stroking up toward his diaper, now on his sit spot “that if I paddled you right now,” her pink eyes glowed brightly as they gazed into the stallion’s face, which was now apple red, “you’d love every. Single. Second of it.” Her hoof kept gently rubbing his leg, so close to his rear end.
“I- I- I kind of want to rest it for a while. You did do some work on it, after all.” And in that instant, Mind felt a sharp sting on his sit spot, eliciting a squirm, widened eyes, and a short yelp that broke into heavy breathing from the stallion.
“Silly foal. Not everypony needs ESP to tell you’re a bad liar.” Upon Mantra’s horn glowing, Mind felt an even sharper blow to the same area that elicited the same responses in a greater degree. “Did that sting a little better, sweetheart?” Mind only gave a self-stifled grunt in between his heavy breaths, then shortly writhed after feeling yet another one. “Answer my question, little one.”
“Y- yes~ That’s a good spell~” Mind then felt the magic stretching the skin on his sit spot loosen as Mantra’s hoof slowly crawled toward his groin and pressed slowly on the front of his diaper. “I don’t think we’re at this point in the conversation yet~”
“Think of it as an intermission. One ride, I promise.”
Mantra followed through on her promise. Two wipes were magikinetically thrown into the wastebasket beside the bed. Her freshly marigold eyes stared into two blood red pools forming moats around gaping voids.
“I want to go again so bad, but a promise is a promise.” She then taped Mind’s diaper back up while smirking at him, knowing fully well why he was blushing and staring at the reapplied padding with widened eyes. “What’s the matter?”
“You, uhm… Didn’t give me a new diaper.”
“Of course not, silly. This one’s hardly even wet.” Mind still gave her a disapproving face. “Oh come on, you mess yourself twice a day, but a little bit of mare jizz is too much for you?”
“‘Mare jizz’? Really?”
“There are no pretty words for it, sweetheart.”
“How about ‘discharge’?”
“Mind, I’m not two-hundred years old.” The mare then crawled over him and lay beside him once again. “Now, where was I?”
“I don’t remember.”
“I was asking that rhetorically to myself because you’re a baby.” In the midst of his resolution, Mind could only roll his eyes at the remark. “How about I tell you a story, and you tell me one in return?”
“About what?”
“Well, I’ll tell mine first. I think you’ll be able to pick up on the theme.” She cuddled with her charge close, resting his head on her breast. “As I told you before, after my mom died, I inherited the manor, and I’ve lived in it alone ever since. One of these days, I’ll actually give you a proper tour, but I honestly haven’t kept up with keeping every single room in the mansion together. Anyway, I went into a dark place for a while but then I settled back into life again.
“Like most AFDL’s, I desired a caregiver. I didn’t care whether it would be a mommy or a daddy; a caregiver’s love toward his/her foals is not gender specific. When I was fourteen, there was this AFDL penpal list in Ponyville I put myself on. I thought it was sketchy at first, but the ponies who ran it handled all of the postage so that you didn’t have to give your address to strangers; just had to give my name and a little bio. All I put about myself was that I was a filly and that I liked diapers, and I got spammed up to my eyeballs in messages from horny stallions who wanted me to be their mommy.
“My mom had questions about the mail I was getting; I told her it was an Equestria-wide book club, and I even asked for her to get me cheesy romance novels. I even went as far as to read them just in case she asked me more about them, and then I developed a silly habit of reading them ironically.” Her horn then wore a matching glow with a levitating book. Mind recognized it; black with a blank cover. “This one is an autobiography written by a mare in Manehatten who was so smitten with a stallion that she dumped her boyfriend. And then she finds out the stallion wants nothing to do with her, but still desperately tries to get him in bed with her. It has one out of five stars, obviously, but it’s hilarious how her perception of reality is so askew, and it shows in her writing, that certain events that happened aren’t really the way they happened.”
“She sounds like a real champion.” Mantra laughed at his sarcastic quip.
“Anyway, despite the horny colts, I did manage to make a few friends. One of whom I met right here in Ponyville, everyone else I haven’t even talked to in years. That one friend I met was Azure Burst, and it even took me a year of messaging him to give him my trust.
“I attended Azure’s support group for a couple of years, the same one that you and Snowy used to go to. Now keep in mind, I was still a brat at this time. I wanted nothing to do with caregiving, I wanted to be the baby. Azure set up a date where he would baby me. I invited him over to the mansion where I told him my room was set up for a baby’s paradise while my mom was on a trip to the Crystal Empire.
“What ended up happening instead? He showed up and he put me in my place, and not in a kinky way, but in a way that really meant it; a way I really needed it. And in his own collective manner, Azure told me that it’s not right for me to expect something so big from another pony, even one you develop a close relationship with. And I wanted the whole thing, soiled diaper changes included; and then I realized what I was asking was basically the equivalent of sex on the first date.
“At first, I felt disgusting thinking I would so willingly throw myself toward anyone willing to fulfill that fantasy of mine, like an AFDL whore. Azure helped me see that it was perfectly okay to crave attention, and made me feel better by reminding me that I rejected all those horny stallions with empty promises of babying me in return. See, when you first join a fetish lifestyle forum, nopony cares, or they at least pretend to care, but as soon as you tell them you’re a mare- Ooof~”
“And you say I’m the cynical one.” Mind replied with a chuckle.
“But am I wrong?”
“Unfortunately, not entirely.”
“Anyway, Azure set me straight; made me more selfless even. I’d go so far as to say he successfully pulled me out of the dark place that I thought I escaped from before. For a while, I thought I felt something more for him, him being my first real AFDL friend and all, but I soon found that him and I are just too different.
“However, Azure did put me on a better path. He told me how he went from foal-at-heart to caregiver. Sadly, his first time caretaking was with another pony who just wanted to use him for kinky diapering fun, which, as shameful as this is to admit even though I wasn’t fully aware of it at the time, was what I wanted from him as well. I steered away from that path once he told me how awkward and dreadful their session was and that he felt hurt and betrayed by that pony. Azure never really spread gossip or anything, but word did get around, and that stained that pony’s reputation in the AFDL community.”
“What happened during their session?”
“Well, he wouldn’t play with Azure at all. He just wanted to get diapered, changed, and watch movies. He wouldn’t even cuddle. And this pony flew all the way from Baltimare. Oh wait, I forgot a detail~ He messed and then wanted to be jerked off and then changed, and he never mentioned wanting to do that until the actual date.”
“What a champion.” Mind said as he scoffed. “Did Azure actually do it?”
“No, and that pleasantly surprised me. I was afraid he was going to go through with it; you know how he’s, and I mean this in the nicest way, kind of a pushover.”
“This I’m aware of.”
“He drew the line there and kind of just told him to change himself, and then they spent the evening into the next day awkwardly. Honestly, I would’ve kicked that colt out of my house right then and there, with that messy diaper on his flanks, but that’s just me.”
“Of course, that’s very inconsiderate of him. I would never mess in another pony’s company without their consent.”
“But yeah, he was really hurt, and to help him feel better, I proposed to invite him over one evening and just unwind with some movies or something. You know, just hang out like friends. After I set up the movie, I turned around and saw him open a diaper and spread it on the floor, and then he told me ‘We can’t be having puddles on the floor, young lady.’
“Being diapered was one of the best things I ever felt in my life, and then he put me in a hoofed sleeper and put my mane in pigtails. It was all much better than I imagined it being with my new perspective. He then broke out some toys and encouraged me to play with them while the movie ran, but all I really wanted to do was cuddle; not because I felt like I had to show my gratitude, but because I was so thankful and warm that he was willing to do all that for me. And it all made me feel so much better about myself.”
“So Azure was your daddy before he was Snowy’s?”
“I would say, more or less, that he played Daddy just a couple of times. More importantly, He showed me the light of being a caregiver. Through his care alone, I was able to feel the joy he felt when he fulfilled my deepest desires, and then he took me under his wing to teach me what it really meant to be one. It wasn’t just a recreational thing for me, though. All the things about it really sparked with me; I would pleasure myself to the very idea of putting a diaper on somepony and seeing them all cute and cut down to size.”
“So he’s the master and you’re the student?”
“Hahaha. Oh silly, the student surpassed the master long ago. Not to toot my own horn or anything. Azure helped me to believe in myself more too, especially given that my family has the blessing of the Royal Pony Sisters, but that’s a story for another time. With said blessing, I aimed to make Ponyville a better place by making our foal-at-heart lifestyle a commonplace thing. As a lifestyle; not a fetish. But there was a snag; Azure told me about his little, and how his little had a friend who had…” She paused to find the correct words. “More magic than he could properly handle, who was also a foal-at-heart. So I met this colt at his favorite bar and took him home with me to be shown a better path just as I was.”
“You could’ve been killed.”
“Oh come on, don’t get all pouty and guilty.” She then settled her hoof along his diapered rump and rocked him gently. “I was in no danger, and I’m glad I got my hooves on such an adorable, and yet very powerful, pony.” Mind’s guilty frown flipped into a smirk.
“Does it turn you on?”
“Silly colt, I have no idea what- I don’t know why I’m saying that; you know I’m lying.”
“Ha~ I win, Mommy~”
“Sweetheart, there’s no loser. But yes, bringing someone as powerful as you down to size really gets me all bothered.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, Mommy, I’m glad you did and I’m glad you feel that way.”
“You’re such a good boy~” She then affectionately ruffled his mane.
“So, your family is connected to the Royal Sisters?”
“Yes, but like I said, that’s a story for another day. Your turn, sweetie.”
“Oh…”
Mind had to collect himself for a little bit before he could tell his story, not knowing where to start. Sometime recent felt most appropriate.
“I was still in college when it happened. I was half a semester short of getting my bachelor’s degree in science and nursing. I had a microscopically precise touch with my magic since I was a teenager. In college, I made and rediscovered a few spells with this touch; healing, therapy, remedies. But then I woke up one morning and my horn was glowing constantly, and then I figured out it was a mind control spell constantly being cast involuntarily. Snowy tried to help me control it, but I couldn’t. I got expelled, and my dreams of being an NP were shattered. And then I lost my best friend because I took out my anger in a stupid way. I’m sorry, Mommy. As stupid and cliché as it sounds, I can’t really expand on the details; this is a little painful for me to talk about.”
“It’s okay, you got it out at least.”
“It really isn’t. I thought my mind was stronger than that.”
“Everyone has limitations. But your problem is that you still haven’t accepted what happened. You not accepting that in turn makes you not accept everyone else’s forgiveness. So, what I want you to do is tell me everything you did with your mind control spell, and I will tell you that I and whoever else involved forgive you for it.”
“I’m not so sure-”
“Mommy says so.”
"...Okay." Mind replied. He took half of a minute thinking of the order to make his confessions. "Nightward is probably still mad at me for making him lie and put his job on the line. He's part of the Lunar Guard, he works as a wizard; specifically a Defense And Protection Specialist, and one of my old AFDL friends."
"And you know what?" Mantra said. "Mommy forgives you, and your friends will forgive you too.”
"I did that to many other guards too."
"And I’m pretty sure they think nothing of it."
"I held up Patty's shop. I guess word got to her after I visited her shop because I left without arousing suspicion of my power at all… Actually, this was on accident, but I made one of her customers unable to move."
"Patty forgave you as well, remember? What about that one customer?"
“Well, I don’t remember him too well. He was a purple unicorn. I don’t remember much else about him, to be honest. He was sporting a really thick diaper in the shop, so I told him to hold still so I could touch it. I almost didn’t catch the command before he realized it, so he was none the wiser, but still.”
“Well, if he didn’t raise any qualms about having his diaper touched by a stranger in public, I’m sure he’s laid back enough to forgive a genuine accident.”
"That blue stallion who’s dating that mare with the bruise on her leg. I foalnapped him and made him punish himself for abusing her." Mantra’s light chuckle raised his eyebrow briefly.
“That makes two ponies in this room who foalnapped somepony.” Mind smirked against his own will. “So, what did you do to him?” Mantra waited for Mind to respond, only getting a breaking voice that couldn’t form anything coherent. “C’mon, sweetheart. You have to admit it to accept it.”
“I performed experiments on him to test my powers as punishment. And I made him spank himself… A lot…”
"Sweetheart, after what he did to Merry, he deserved worse. That fucker isn’t worthy enough to apologize to, let alone worthy of oxygen.”
“Damn~” Mind said with widened eyes, which sparked cacophonous laughter from the mare beside him. “I mean, you’re right, but damn~” She continued to laugh and held a hoof to her mouth to help stifle it.
“Anyway, continue.”
"I paraded Snowy around with me practically everywhere I went, and I did some unforgivable things to him out of anger."
"It’s okay, Mind. He already told you himself that he forgives you."
"One time, Snowy and I were at a bar, and this one pony was completely hammered. He had Snowy pinned against a wall by his wings and held a broken beer bottle up to him with magic. I threatened to make him cut open his own throat instead."
"Well, the next time you’re at a bar and somepony has a problem with you, or Snowy even, I’ll be there to kick their ass myself.” Mantra replied unhesitantly.
“Well,” he then laughed courteously, “I’m glad to have my mommy in my corner.” His laughter quickly turned into a light groan.
“Uh-oh, what’s the next one?”
"I made Celestia impale her own heart." Mind said, burying his head into a pillow. Mantra pulled him upright and embraced him in a big hug.
"And Mommy sincerely forgives you. And I’m sure the princess-"
"I told Pinkie Pie to shut up forever." Mantra had to pull herself away, failing to hold back her raucous laughter.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. I honestly would love to see a quiet Pinkie, but you know how she is; if something bothers her, it’s only for a while and then she lets it roll off her back.”
"I made a whole Hold 'Em table go all in and then fold."
"Coming from somepony who has money, it’s not the key to happiness. They’ll get over it."
"I once told a stallion to go fuck himself…"
"And Mommy forgives you."
Author's Note
This very dialogue-heavy chapter is one I'm proud of moreso from the psychological aspect. I think it's safe to say that most ABDL's have had a period of self-loathing, guilt, and binge-purge cycles. Thanks to the evolution of the internet, we are blessed to have a quick road to self-acceptance, but we sometimes find ourselves having difficulty getting over other things that might shape us who we are for worse. Here's hoping I did a well enough job to convey that.

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                Chapter 9: The Filly's Mind                
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Chapter 9: The Filly's Mind
A swig of apple juice ran down Snowy's throat as it drained from his sippy cup. He set the cup down and cleared his throat. His hooves clipped across the kitchen floor with a bowl clenched in his teeth.
"So did that make you feel any better?"
"I guess it did." Mind said, tugging at his red bib. "I think at this point, I just need some time for the pain to go away."
"If you say so." Mind opened his mouth for a spoonful of the orange mush, which he swallowed without trouble. "You're going to be alright, man." The second spoonful elicited a groan from Mind. "What's wrong?"
"You're no fun." Mind complained, Snowy raising a brow in response. "My mommy always plays games with me.” Snowy gave a reactionary eye roll. “Sometimes she pretends it's the winner of the Wonderbolt Derby trying to cross the finish line."
"I'm not doing that. Eat." Snowy’s eyes widened, and he swiftly dodged some mush thrown at him, not even noticing a tiny glob of it grazed his chin. "Are you serious!?" The highchair-bound pony couldn’t help laughing at the pegasus glaring at him and holding his mush-covered hoof to his mouth. "You are eating this!" Snowy grabbed some of the orange goop with his hoof from the bowl and shoved it into Mind's mouth, immediately yanking it out as it was clamped between his teeth. "Hey! Bad foal!"
"Having fun?" Mind said with a smirk.
"Don't make me tell your mommy."
"Please, if anything she'd give you a lesson on how to properly feed a baby."
"I will spank you until your ass is red."
"Do it!" Mind said while blushing. The two broke into laughter together. "I mean, it’d only be fair."
"Hey," Snowy said, ceasing his laughter and wiping off his smile, "that's not funny." Mind instantly regretted what he said and the two spent the rest of lunch in silence. A change into a dry diaper followed in silence as well. After Snowy reamed the tapes onto the landing zone, he gave Mind a tap on his cheek. "Up. Let's go."
"Where are we going?"
"I want to show you something."
The marigold beams of the sun and the gentle breeze made it a perfect day for a walk to the park. Mind found the adult-sized baby swings much more enticing, given it was the first time he’d been to the park with his memories back. The two took each other through tales of reminiscing, both of their poofy rumps sitting on the bench together. The two originally met in their mid teens in a support group for adolescent ponies with a fondness for diapers; a group founded by none other than Azure Burst. Finding more common interests and ideologies between one another, the pegasus and the unicorn became very close friends. They originally planned on going into a career together: Snowy wanted to be a rescuer, and Mind wanted to be a nurse practitioner. It was within reason that Mind would tag along with him to go north to heal the ponies Snowy would rescue, as well as use his special method of casting spells to conjure up ways for the pegasus to help resist the cold: Such as manipulating signals in the hypothalamus to increase adrenaline for his rescues. The two shared stories and laughter for a good few minutes before Snowy started leading Mind into a coffee shop.
The opening door rang a bell throughout the shop. Snowy led Mind to a particular table in the back. First he saw Mantra, but as he further turned the corner, other ponies came into view, all of them Mind recognized. Almost all of them victims of his powers. Mind froze up right there in front of all their gazes. Mantra urged him to take a seat next to her while Snowy took one next to Azure Burst; the only exception to the cast of victims. Mind reluctantly obeyed Mantra’s urging and readied to take a seat. Before he could, Mantra stood to pull on the back of his poofy garment. Mind looked once more at the congregation of ponies with his face flushing bright pink as Mantra checked his diaper, no-one paying a firm glance at the procedure.
"My baby would like to say some things," Mantra began, "but I would just like to thank you all very much for coming; you've all shown tremendous courage being here today. After hearing all of your stories, I know there are some hard feelings to be sorted. I know my baby's done some bad things, but through my care, I've shown him a better path. Here's hoping that by the end of today, we can all leave with the air all clear.” Her eyes then gazed at Mind in a way to instill confidence. “The floor’s all yours, sweetheart.” To which the former unicorn took a couple of collecting breaths. Mantra took her seat again before her partner started speaking.
"I can't imagine it being easy looking at me right now," Mind said, his gaze kept down at the table, being too afraid to make eye contact with anyone. "For weeks, I've been under Mantra's care. And very recently, I regained my memories of all that I've done. When I discovered I had this gift, I tried to do good with it, but it was too much for me." Mind then shook his head with gritting teeth. "No, I let it shape me into something I didn't want to be. So I don’t blame any of you if you don’t accept my apology, but for whatever it’s worth, I am truly very sorry for all that I've done, and I truly regret it all.” Mind then shuffled into his chair right beside Mantra. She pressed her lips against his cheek and they released with a wet smack.
"Now then, I think we can all agree that that apology was straight from his heart. Would anyone like to say their piece?" Everyone broke eye contact with Mantra and sat in silence. Some even putting hooves to their chins. Crinkles came from a pegasus standing up and slamming his front hooves on the table.
"For fuck's sake!" Snowy’s furled his brows and his outburst grabbed the attention of even the other customers in the shop. "How can all of you just do that?" Azure raised his hoof to him and urged him to calm himself. "No! Daddy, let me talk. C'mon everyone, Mind has lost so much; nopony in town looks at him the same way, he doesn’t have magic anymore, he lost… He lost parts of himself that made him who he was for a while… And he almost lost his best friend." He took another glance around the silent table before continuing. "After Mind discovered his powers, I never wanted to see him again. But I saw that he truly regrets what he did and I forgave him. A strong friendship that I thought would never be broken, but was, and once broken would never be fixed, but we fixed it~ If I was able to forgive him after all that, if I was able to forgive him after severing one of the closest friendships we've ever had, then there shouldn't be a damn excuse for you all not to forgive him."
Snowy sat back down with a huff. Mantra, the only one unphased by his outburst, turned her head toward a certain mare.
"Merry, why don't you tell Mind your story?"
"Uhm…" The mare known as Merry Clouds stood up slowly. Mind recognized her as the timid pegasus with the bruise on her leg, but her blue-coated companion was absent from the meeting. "As most of you know, I was- My boyfriend- My ex-boyfriend was- He was." She stopped to calm herself for a bit. "He was doing horrible things to me until Mind came along and used his- His magic to put a stop to that. Things were good for a while until Princess Twilight learned to break the spell, and then he started- He- It took me until recently to get help. And now, I hopefully won't have to ever see him again. That freedom, that short-lived freedom, gave me the strength to actually do something about him." Almost everyone around the table gave nods. "So I guess things turned out better for me thanks to Mind…" An awkward pause was given before Merry took her seat once again.
"Thank you very much for saying that, Merry."
“Yes, thank you very much.” Mind concurred.
"Would anyone else like to say anything?"
"I would," said Peppi from across the table, eliciting squeaks from her chair being pushed back, "my experience with Mind may have scarred me, and it may have scarred all of us, but that's the thing about scars: They stay with you, but you learn to live with them, and when you do, you become a better pony." She took a pause to let everyone take in what she said with nods, somewhat proud of herself. Mantra would’ve commented on how uncharacteristically astute it was of Peppi to say that, but felt it inappropriate. "Mind, I forgive you."
Ane by one, following suit, everyone in the meeting stood up proclaiming their forgiveness. Mind was taken by surprise, and even started to shed bittersweet tears, being so overwhelmed by him having to recall all the terrible things he did to these ponies and being absolved of every one of them.
"See?" Snowy said as he stood up and wrapped Mind in a warm hug. "We all forgive you." Mind’s hooves wrapped around his friend in reciprocation.
“You’re the best friend I could ever ask for.”
Mantra stood up and gently broke the hug to lead Mind outside the shop, urging everyone to follow them. Right outside the shop, beside her chariot and a couple of guards, stood a white mare shining as radiantly as the sun, and Mind felt his heart sink like an anchor while everyone else was awestruck and bowed before her. Her purple eyes fixed upon Mind and Mantra amidst the rest of the congregation, she wore her signature smile, and her long multicolor-striped mane and tail flowed gracefully, despite the gentle breeze being logistically too soft to carry such long hair.
"Su- Celestia~" Mind proclaimed, very thankful for the similar prefixes, but still carrying shame for it.
"Thank you very much for coming, Princess." Mantra said.
"No way!" Mind said. "There's no way you could forgive me!" Mantra hushed him with a raised hoof and gestured Celestia to say her piece.
"Mind Fission," Celestia said, "the world moves forward by forgiving." Mind broke eye contact with her and bowed his head before her, still feeling guilt. "There's no need to bow. Please don't." Mind looked back up at her upon said request, as did all the other ponies. "If anything, you were the victim. A victim of circumstance; you actually said this yourself, and it took me until all of it was over to realize that." She paused briefly then cleared her throat. "Actually, it was Mantra who helped me realize that as well. Being cursed with a power like that does change a pony, and I did call you some things that didn't help. So I shouldn't be forgiving you, I should be apologizing." Mind opened his mouth to speak, only to have Mantra raise her hoof to him once more before he could utter anything. "During this whole mind control debacle, we lost something very important to us; the true magic of peace and harmony, and that's on all of us more than it is on you. So allow me to make a commemoration to a brand new start: As the princess of the sun and the ruler of Equestria, I'd like to openly decree that you, Mind Fission, are pardoned from all of your crimes."
A cheer broke out from the forgiveness meeting. Mantra squeezed her charge in her embrace, rejoicing for a Mind too shocked for words. Snowy proclaimed that they should all get a picture together. As he stood in front of the camera surrounded by all his past victims now turned friend, Mind smiled brightly for the white flash. Another picture was taken shortly after as Mantra planted a kiss on his cheek.
After a full day out in celebration, Mantra took Mind to a tavern that night; joined by Snowy, Peppi, and those from the group who were able to endure a night out. The building was so congested with conversation and music that they all had to shout to hear one another. A server set a tray of shot glasses filled to the brim with a clear liquid were set at the table before Mind. Everyone took a glass while Mantra set one for Mind right before him which he only stared at.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Mantra asked.
"This is booze!" Mind said. "This isn't a trick, right? This is a shot of pure rum!"
"Oh, you're absolutely right!" Mantra said as she took his baby bottle out of his diaper bag and poured the shot into it, closing it off with the nipple. "Here you go~" Mind clamped between his hooves the bottle levitated before him, filled only to an ounce by the shot. He only stared at it in bewilderment. "To forgiveness and moving forward~" Mantra levitated her glass while using her magic to slightly urge Mind's hoof to join in. He obliged and gently tapped the towering bottle against everyone's shot glasses. While everyone finished theirs in an instant, it took a couple of seconds for the shot to course through the teat of Mind's bottle. He practically gagged from how long the strong drink ran on his taste buds, most of it evaporating before he could even swallow it. As the last of it went down his throat, he gave a heavy dry cough, feeling the buzz throw off his equilibrium. It had been a long time since he had a drink… Or a few of them for that matter.
Mind had already ingested a couple more shots of rum by the time he finished a particularly strong cocktail; blue curacao and strawberry schnapps mixed with vodka. His face was flushed red and he was using what was left of his brain power to keep his balance in his seat. Mantra turned her head toward him, Mind looking into her now salmon eyes.
"Are you having a good time, sweetheart?"
"I'm buzzing like a bee, Mommy." Mind replied with a chuckle.
"Good~"
"Wait… Are you drunk?"
"What?" Mantra replied defensively. "No, I don't get drunk. I mean, Mommy doesn't get drunk."
"Hey everyone!" Mind called out to the rest of the party. "Mommy is drunk and she's lyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiing about it!" He broke into laughter, not at all phased by calling her "Mommy" to everyone there. His laughter was stifled as Mantra plopped his blue pacifier into his mouth. The pacifier was wrapped in her magic aura, leaving Mind helpless to spit it out.
"No more for you. And I'm not drunk." She said, trying hard to hold back laughter.
"I can tell you are, Mommy; I have ESP. Remember? Also, dopamine is the chemical in your brain that controls pleasure, and alcohol gives you a lot of it, which is why your eyes are pink." Mantra pet his head with a smirk.
"Such adorable baby babble~" Their server put two glasses filled with a red drink before the two of them. "Oh, I didn't order this." The server froze in place nervously.
"I ordered it." Mind said. The server then swiftly walked away to deliver the other drinks she held in her tray.
"What's this, cutie?" Mantra asked as her magic levitated her glass.
"It's vodka, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice."
“You sure like vodka in your cocktails.”
“This one is called ‘Mother’s Heart’.”
"Awwww, how sweet." Mantra then started to fill his bottle with it. "Alright, one more for you."
"To you," Mind said as he raised his bottle, "for being the best mommy a foal-at-heart could have."
"And to you," Mantra’s glowing horn gently took out his pacifier and put it back in her bag, "for being the best baby in the world." The two gave a celebratory drink before Mind was called up to the karaoke stage. "Go get 'em~" Mantra said, levitating him out of his seat.
"No wait, I didn't sign up-"
"I picked a really good song, now go sing for me."
Reluctantly, Mind stood before the microphone perched atop the stand, trying his best to keep his balance. The small screen above him prefaced his performance with the key signature the song was in.
"G-sharp minor." Mind said to himself. Sharps on the G, A, C, D, and F were placed on the stave. Mind wasn’t a professional by any means, but he did take a couple of music theory classes in high school and liked to sing in comfortable opportunities; drunken bar karaoke not being one of these.
He heard a familiar piano riff start off the song, which widened his eyes.
"Really?" He said, looking straight at the smirking pink mare. "Alright, this one’s for you, Mommy." He cleared his throat and the song led into the first verse. "Highway run until the midnight sun" Mind sang, despite feeling like he was balancing on top of a flagpole, with the best he could muster, "the wheels go 'round and 'round, you're on my mind." During the break, ponies' ears started perking up and they turned their heads toward him. "Restless hearts sleep alone tonight, sending all my love along the wire." Mind's heart normally would have absolutely sank at the thought of all these ponies looking at him and his thick poofy diaper in plain sight on stage. "They say that the road ain't no place to start a family." But in his stupor, his inhibitions were a far cry from the top of a mountain, and he was in a karaoke tavern. "Right down the line it's been you and me." Mantra encouraging babyish behavior in public regardless felt so right to him. "And loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be." Mantra only watched his performance with a smile. "Oh girl, you stand by me. I'm forever yours faithfully~"
Once sobriety reached Mantra, she walked her tipsy giggling charge outside the tavern, secluding them both behind a bush just outside.
"What are we doing out here?" Mind asked.
"You're getting your diaper changed, silly. The tavern's bathroom is too small for it. And you really soaked this thing after all you drank." She lay him on his back gently and her horn glowed to give light in the dark of night as she reached for his tapes.
"It's really not that wet. I can make it home."
"Too late," Mantra opened up the pant swiftly. "What a supersoaker~" Telekinesis guided wipes to clean up his privates. "Next time, you're getting cut off just so you don't leak in the bar." She then lifted him up by his hind hooves and started to wipe his butt.
"You must have a high metabolism to be sober already." Mind remarked. Mantra booped his forehead in response, forcing him to giggle and wiggle a little bit under the will of his intoxicatedly sensitive nerves. With the tender touch of her hooves, she massaged foal powder into his coat then taped him up snuggly in the last thick diaper in his diaper bag. "Mommy, you're so awesome for doing this all the time."
"Oh nonsense, what kind of mother wouldn't change her baby's diapers?" She gave him a pat on his freshly padded rear. "All done~ Let's go home. It's way past your bedtime." She could've carried him, but she found it much more amusing to let him lean on her, stumbling over his own hooves and fresh thick diaper.
The world around Mind was spinning as he was cradled in his blue hoofed sleeper and being fed a bottle of water. Just water, which Mantra was happy to oblige upon his request without him having to go into detail about how staying hydrated before going to bed prevents hangovers. After his second bottle, he was taken to his crib. He was gently carried in, then Mantra climbed in with him and held him tight.
"Mommy, what are you doing?"
"It’s Mommy’s bedtime too. Surely the baby won’t fret over sharing his crib. Nighty night, sweetie~"
"Goodnight, Mommy."
"As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal."
Mantra plopped his pacifier into his mouth and planted a kiss on his head. Mind let the spins take him off to his dreams.
Mind awoke rather abruptly, forgetting immediately whatever dream he had. He gave a couple of suckles on the pacifier still in his mouth. He felt the blankets stir, then Mantra gave him a kiss on his head, wishing him good morning. A puddle of drool had stained his pillow underneath him. He turned toward Mantra and let the pacifier fall out of his mouth as he gave her a kiss back, embracing her tightly, her reciprocating. Mind had truly never woken up happier before.
"Mommy, guess what."
"What?"
"Poofy butts!" Mind said as he rolled on top of her and started kissing her cheek repeatedly. Mantra laughed at being smothered by all his love. She hugged him tight, groping his plot, a chill ran through her as her hoof squeezed the bulky diaper underneath his fleece pajamas and her ears flicked at the crinkles it made. The cherry on top was when he rested a long smooch on her cheek and she felt her hoof suddenly get warmer. Mind kissing her left him absent to the very thought of it.
"More like soggy butts~" Mantra’s eyes turned pink in tandem with her chuckles. "You're such a good baby. Mommy couldn't be happier right now." Mind broke himself from her.
"Happy birthday!" Mind said enthusiastically with a big smile.
"How did you know?" Mantra asked, then suddenly realizing. "Snowy told you." As Mind climbed himself over her, he proclaimed he had a present for her and reached for the top bar of the crib, Mantra responding to his reaching by lowering the dropside and letting Mind run out. Mantra lifted herself out of the crib as well and watched Mind raid a certain pack of diapers. He used his hoof to part the diaper and grabbed it by clamping his lips on it.
He brought over to Mantra one of his "naughty" diapers; the pink ones with violets all over it and frills on the rear.
"Oh, did you want to wear that today, sweetie?" Mind shook his head in response, trying to speak, but the diaper he was holding in between his lips completely muffled him. "Did you want Mommy to wear that?" Mind nodded enthusiastically and the pant fell out of his mouth, hitting the floor with a crinkling thump.
"You work hard being a mommy, so today, you're the baby."
"You're so sweet," Mantra picked up the diaper telekinetically, her irises still pink from the very thought of it "but really, you don't have to do anything special for me."
"But I really want to." Mind said with a smile that subtly morphed into a smirk. "Lie down, Mommy." He read her like a map. Her pink eyes and her initial refusal; Mind put the tells together with ample support from his gift. She didn't want to give up the control, she wanted it taken from her, and even somewhat unbeknownst to herself, she had been craving it for a long time. And could she really be blamed? After weeks of playing the babysitter, constantly touching Mind's diapers, and smothering him with her love, she truly desired to be on the other side of it for a change.
She obeyed the stallion and lay on her back. Mind stripped himself of his sleeper, then slid the frilly garment underneath her and started to powder his hooves, then massaged the powder into her plot cheeks. Mantra was so overwhelmed with it all that she couldn't put words through her mouth. It had been a long time since she had been diapered by another pony, and feeling so exposed before someone willing to do such an intimate thing for her left her helpless to giggle. After cleaning his hooves with a wipe, he taped up the diaper snuggly around her flanks.
"You're such a baby," Mind said, "so happy to be put in diapees she couldn't even talk." Mantra couldn't hold back her laughter, having all of her buttons pushed just right. Mind took another leap into it and pressed his lips against her belly. His vibrating lips sent Mantra into a flurry of hysterical laughter. Mind had to pull himself away as he found himself helpless to laughter as well, and he made a mental note of needing to practice holding them back. "Now can you be a big girl and follow me to breakfast? I would carry you, but…" Mind brushed his hoof along his bare forehead.
It had been a long time, but Mantra felt all the great feelings about a diaper in between her legs come right back to her. She stood to her hooves, but the very thought of having to waddle left her unable to walk. Mind's condescending red eyes and wide smirk as he turned and started walking away didn't exactly help her relax. She was hypnotized watching his behind sway away gracefully, and was also bewildered; she never noticed before how well he learned to walk around in such a thick garment. She could already tell by how wide her hooves were spread that she would be helpless to waddle, and in a dry diaper that's even thinner than Mind's no less. She bit her lower lip in a vain attempt to help suppress urges that rushed through her at heart-racing speeds.
Mantra pounced upon Mind, causing the stallion to stumble slightly, but he regained his balance. She rested by her belly on his back, her hooves barely above the floor alongside her partner's. Mind was actually surprised he was strong enough to carry her.
"Can the little filly really not walk?" Mind said with a chuckle. "You must be younger than I thought." Mantra tugged on his ear with her magic, her eyes now radiantly pink.
"Let's go back to Mommy's bed, sweetie." She said with a lot of breath filtering her voice.
"Ah ah ah," Mind said shaking his head, "naughty fillies don't get what they want."
"Oh come on, don't do this to me~ I'm so horny I'm practically cumming right now~"
"I don't want to hear you say any of those naughty words again, young lady."
“I can’t help being a naughty girl; you should spank the naughtiness out of me~”
“Nope~” Mind adjusted her position on his back and carried her to the kitchen despite her protesting.
Tables were turned and Mantra sat in the high chair pouting with her hooves crossed. Her irises were still pink; the high from her urges was fading despite her wanting to hold onto it more than anything at that moment. Since he never had a look inside the pantry himself, Mind was still figuring out exactly what and where everything was, but it didn't help that he was purposefully prolonging his choice in foal-at-heart food. The charm from the loss of control and the high chair groping her diapered groin was strong, but Mantra was numb to it after what she was helpless to stop on her own earlier.
"I can't decide," Mind said with his hoof to his chin, "carrots it is, then. Always the default for little ponies. And just so you're not alone, I'll partake in this one." He took out another flavor for himself, then walked over to the counter to prepare it while reading the ingredients. "Oh wow, this stuff is interesting," he said mostly to himself, but hoping Mantra was listening, "it doesn't have all same amount of ingredients foal food normally has, which makes sense because real foal food doesn’t have nearly as many fat or proteins in it because actual foals have weaker digestive systems." He continued to read. "And of course, this food is rich in fiber. Gotta’ have natural laxatives in one’s diet; something I'm sure there's a ton of in the 'fast-acting' line of this stuff. I actually learned all of this in nutrition; I absolutely despised that class, but I persevered and learned all I could from it regardless."
"I tried the fast-acting stuff." Mantra said with her cheeks flushing red, and she rested her hooves on the tray. "It was awesome filling up my diaper so fast and helplessly, but I practically gagged from the smell when I had to change. The real thing is no match for the legend, I'm afraid." Mind chuckled as he continued to prepare the bowls.
"Does the little filly love making messies in her cuddle pants?"
"Shut up, you do too." She folded her hooves again. "And I'm much more ready for potty-training than you are."
"Nonsense, I bet you'll be stinking up your diaper much sooner than I normally do. Perhaps more than twice too." Mind set down the bowls on the high chair tray, one was the usual mushy carrots, the other was something purple. He clasped the spoon with his hooves and scooped up some of the mushy carrots to hold up to Mantra's mouth. She backed away in the high chair with her arms still crossed.
"I want plums." She had the spoon stuffed into her mouth regardless, and she swallowed without protest.
"No, that's my breakfast. You're a filly. Fillies don't care about what they eat." He replied with a smirk, then took a spoonful of the purple mush for himself, finding it actually very pleasing to taste and humming in question. "Actually, I see your point."
"I like the plum flavor because purple is my favorite color."
"Purple is my favorite color too. Who would've thought?" Mind said with a chuckle as he continued to have his charge down the carrot mush while still treating her with some of the pureed plums.
Mind had to sit on the floor to do it, but he managed to drape Mantra over his shoulder and burp her. It was startling to hear her belch so loud; it caused both of them to share a laugh. Mind started to lead Mantra up to her bedroom, promising her he had something very fun thought of. She knew he wasn't going to give her what she desperately craved; he was having too much fun doing so. The perpetual urge Mantra kept feeling was both excruciatingly torturous and breathtakingly divine.
She followed Mind into her walk-in closet; a part of her room Mind had never really looked at before, and his eyes focused specifically on the corner with all the babyish clothes. He was absolutely ecstatic when he picked out a frilly light blue party dress. She knew why he chose that one specifically; the dress was much too short to cover her diaper decently, making it ideal for regular diaper checks, or more ideally, to remind her that her diaper was always in plain sight. She felt like she could practically die right there having someone else picking out her clothes for her.
And then came another ultimate; Mantra sat on her bed freshly clad in her dress while Mind styled her mane. He didn't do anything extravagant, even admitted that he wasn't any good at styling hair, but the charm of having someone else dress her up and put her hair in pigtails was already more than enough for Mantra.
She stood before the mirror blushing beet red; she saw a little filly, whose pink coat contrasted beautifully with the baby blue dress, ready for a playdate having her diaper checked. Mind gave her a kiss on the cheek, proclaiming she was clean and dry, and a good filly. She blushed more at his words, and even more when she was struck with the thought of natural laxatives now coursing through her body; she could be feeling perfectly fine at the moment, but within the next minute she could be giving in to the ultimate in babyish behavior, or within the next few seconds even. There was no way for her to tell when it was going to call out to her until it did. Until then, Mind encouraged her to just go about filly business as normal.
"So, what show does the little filly want to watch?"
"Dragon Paws or Ponies Like Me? Choices…” The new filly raised her front hooves before herself like a scale. “Dragon Paws~"
“Dragon Paws it is.” Mind then stood on the couch to hit the buttons on the projector placed in the wall cubby. Its light shone upon blank white screen at the other end of the room. Thankfully, the blue dragon was already set to go on the machine, saving him the hassle of fiddling with buttons on a fancy projector he was unfamiliar with. Mind told her to find the cute little dragon, which she obeyed by turning her head toward the screen to get herself into the adventures of the blue dragon and her stallion friend. Mind had to shake his head to brush off something that seemed to possess him, thankful that Mantra didn't see it.
He walked over to Mantra with a treat in his hoof; a magenta pacifier with a butterfly shaped guard and a marigold on the button where the ring was mounted.
"Where did you get tha-" The utterly shocked mare had her sentence cut off by the nipple swiftly finding a home in her muzzle.
"My little filly shouldn't be wondering how I found her favorite paci. She should just be happy to have it in her mouth." He wasn't lying; Mantra gave the pacifier some suckles and quickly forgot about asking him how he found it. "What do you say?"
"Thank you." Mantra said with the pacifier lisping her heavily. She then clutched Mind with her hooves and brought him laying on his back on the floor alongside her. "You're a baby too~ Wet's Pway~"
"I have grown-up things to do, sweetheart." Mantra shook her head at his reply. He had absolutely no grown-up things to do, not that he was actually trying to fool anyone with that; he just wanted to fulfill his newly acquired role, but she wasn’t having it.
"Grown-up things are boring. Wouldn't you rather be a playmate than a caretaker right now?" She used her magic to fish a set of plastic keys out of the toy box, jingling them above Mind. He instinctively swatted his hoof at them. His hoof elicited a clattering of plastic that immediately trapped the stallion in an irresistible need to make the sounds again and again. Mantra spread her laughter to the pony beneath him. Without anymore words, the two started to play together, taking toy after toy out of the box and leaving them strewn about the floor while Dragon Paws ran. With toys now thrown into the equation, Mantra's irises changed back to their normal marigold, and as her libido faded away, she gave in to the innocence of being a filly at play. There were now two foals-at-heart playing in Mantra’s living room.
The filly was playing with a bead maze when the colt returned with his peacock plush and two bottles. He set the bottles on the base of the maze and hugged Polymo, waiting for her to finish. She stopped in the middle of guiding the plastic ball along the track to crawl over and give the peacock a pet. His soft touch was so inviting to her. Mind offered to share him, causing Mantra to squeal as she hugged Polymo tight. Mind then gently reached for Mantra's pacifier handle, gently pulling it out, and held the bottle of chocolate milk up to her.
"You found my bottle too?" Mantra said with her eyes widened. The bottle cap had a magenta ring with marigolds printed on the bottle itself; marigolds that matched the one on the pacifier. "And how did you know chocolate milk was my favorite?"
"Because chocolate also has natural laxatives in it~" Mind gently pushed her onto her back. Despite Mind’s failure to figure out her sweet tooth, specifically for chocolate, Mantra now had a new reason to adore chocolate milk. Mantra's face glowed red again when Mind placed the nipple of the bottle into her gaping mouth, her lips wrapping around the teat. He placed Polymo on her chest and used him to hold the bottle in place for her. "Polymo is such a good helper~" Mind proclaimed with a wide smile. Mantra had to hold back laughter to keep herself drinking the sweet sugar-brown liquid. Mind soon found himself thirsting as well and he grabbed his strawberry milk bottle as well, absentmindedly letting go of his peacock, causing Mantra's bottle to fall limp and her having to use her magic to catch it and keep herself drinking from it. Mind lay down beside her, downing the succulent pink liquid from his bottle, slow to realize Mantra was holding it for him with her magic as well.
The filly gazed down at herself, her bottle now blurry to, now the foreground of her depth of field meshing with her periphery. She saw Mind's fluffy and dampened diapered groin lay beside her own, covered by her dress from her angle, and she smiled wide at the idea of Mind doing the same thing. As a gust of wind poured wheezed out from Mantra's bottle, she lazily let it fall out of her mouth, her magic aura dissipating from both bottles. She watched her bottle roll away. Mind finished his and did the same thing, then proceeded to roll to his side and wrapped his hoof around the sleeping mare, then fell asleep himself.
Through blurred vision, Mind watched Mantra slowly break herself from their cuddling, stand up, and face away from him. He smirked at the glorious sight of the pink poofy glory underneath her blue dress. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep as soon as she started turning her head back at him. His ability let him know when to open his eyes again. Her pacifier floated toward her and she caught it in her mouth by the nipple. Her horn ceased glowing shortly after.
Mantra felt the very audible gurgles in her stomach and her face flushed red. Her innocent pacifier nursing was a telegraph of her excitement. She hadn't done this in quite a while, and the notion struck her dubiously. But she was fully prepared for the deed; her diaper was nice and snug, both that and her dress would've been a pain to take off. The bathroom was also very far away- or rather, it was only a couple rooms away, but numbers are hard for small babies to understand. She was anxious to feel the results of the natural laxatives coursing through her and nature was calling out to her. While the idea was tempting, she hesitated when it came to practice. This was her brain at work; after undergoing potty-training, one is struck with the conditioning it brings when met with the idea of not using the toilet. So what was the advantage to holding it in, taking off her dress and diaper, and using the toilet like a big girl? …There wasn't any. She spread her hind hooves and cemented herself into foalhood.
After waking from a nap and needing to relieve herself right away, it all just felt right to her. Without her realizing, Mind watched every second of the filly letting it all out into her awaiting pant. She sighed in relief, but the show wasn't over then. She shook her plot, making thunder with her crinkling trying to make the storm inside sit more comfortably. She turned back to see Mind still seemingly sound asleep and telekinetically lifted his hoof up to lay herself back in place with a warm smile. She closed her eyes, but then felt a kiss on the head and a pet on her mane.
"Good girl." Mantra's face grew beet red yet again to the sound of Mind’s soft voice, and even redder when he reached his hoof down to pat her diapered behind. Mantra thought she couldn't feel any smaller, "I think the little filly needs a change," until Mind uttered that last sentence, "unless the filly wants some bouncy bounce time," and Mantra found herself unable to resist smiling. She couldn't even find words; her dedicated pacifier suckling gave him more answers than words could anyway. "Naaaaahhhh. Changies it is."
Mind rolled onto his belly, hesitating to get up, having slept so soundly. Mantra didn't help with her cuddling, but there was absolutely no helping it. Mantra was making herself feel innocently helpless more than Mind's treatment was at this point. She rolled over and she stared into her partner's red eyes, finding his condescending smirk pushing her buttons some more, and her smile barely peeked from behind her pacifier. Mind gave her a long smooch on her head then pet her mane again.
"Just so you're not alone, sweetie~" Her eyes widened and she glanced down to see his tail lower back into place. She couldn't believe she was so deep into her own sensations that she didn't even notice him doing that.
“Hey! Y- You’re not allowed to hide that~”
“I didn’t hide it.” He then got up, kissed her once more, then made his way toward his diaper supply in the nursery. “You’re just so small you didn’t pay attention.”
A fresh folded diaper was flopped down at Mantra's hind hooves, who had been stripped of her dress and lay on her back on the changing table in only her diaper. Mind was confident and wholly ready to do this; something that Mantra was kind enough to do for him many times. He couldn’t stop smiling at the idea of making her feel the same comfort she made him feel every time she did the deed. He then came to a daunting realization that he had a challenge facing him at multiple angles. He had changed his own messy diapers before and he had changed Snowy's wet ones before, but he had never changed another pony's messy diaper, not even an actual foal's. And he never changed a diaper without his telekinetic powers.
He pulled off the front tapes and then pushed her up by her butt to unfasten the tail tape. He took a deep breath through his mouth, held it, and stomached through the cold hooves he was feeling. The deed itself wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be, but the actual sight and smell of it wasn't one of his turn-ons, something shared by the mare he was assiduously cleaning. How Mantra managed to do this for him all the time without breaking her gaze or smile was something that Mind had to think about.
"Do you want help?" She asked with a glowing horn.
"No, I got this." He gently wiped her privates thorough, taking care to wipe away from her marehood, then started to apply a cold diaper rash cream on her rump, massaging it into her twitching self. Afterwards, she was settled snug into another pink, frilly, violet-covered diaper. "All done, sweetie." And the stallion could breathe again, the fumes coming from his own diaper were actually bearable in comparison to what he was afraid to smell directly.
Despite having this fetish at a very young age, Mind before was so focused on his studies that he didn't actually start to wear adult diapers until he started college. He had only been wearing adult diapers for only a few years and he had only been messing himself once in a while. Mantra, however, had been doing the whole diaper fetish/infantilism song and dance for two decades and most certainly would have messy diaper changing down to a fine science by now. Despite magic, approaching a messy diaper isn't easy- No, it isn't any different regardless of having magic.
The way his thoughts swirled the act about made it seem like quite a chore, but in the moment itself, feelings trumped thought, and changing a messy diaper of one he loved was an experience; one of the most intimate experiences the two could have.
"Oh wow, I feel so clean~ Is this what it feels like whenever I change you?"
"Well, I have to make certain my little filly doesn’t get a rash." Mind smiled at her. He cleansed his hooves with a wipe, then answered her question seriously. "It makes sense. When you can't see your own butt, it's better off being cleaned by someone else." Mantra stood off the table and Mind was thanked for his service with a smooch planted firmly on his head. “My my, aren’t you just a smoochy foal today?” He then suddenly looked down at himself when he felt himself being lifted up onto the changing table in her place.
"You’re not one to talk.” The aura around Mind then dissipated. “Your turn~" Her magic pried off the tapes and put herself to work. A wipe alighted in her aura came to clean up Mind's privates after she scooped away the soiled garment. "It's quite magical to be so exposed like that to someone and to have someone taking care of such a sensitive part of your body. Thank you so much for doing that for me, cutie~"
"You know," a puff of white foal powder hovered above his diaper area, "I could've just changed myself to keep you in little headspace."
"Nonsense, I want to repay you for being such a good daddy and changing me out of my smelly mush~"
"But you've changed me out of mine hundreds of times," Mind replied with a chuckle, "I think we're far from even."
"See, that's the thing," she then pressed the tapes onto the landing zone with her hooves, "Mommy doesn't play to get even, she plays to win." She then lightly tapped his cheek.
Mind assumed his temporary daddy role again for lunch. After filling up his little filly with more pureed plums, Mind was about to take her back upstairs to dress her up some more, claiming he wanted to find more ways for her to look adorable.
"Actually, I set up a pretty fun room a couple of days ago. I was going to wait a couple more days to show you, but you’ve been such a wonderful daddy. It's probably best not to dress up for it." Mind raised his brow and glanced at her incredulously. "It's not dirty, I promise, but it is a surprise."
With a shrug, Mind allowed her to lead him to a room in the manor he had never seen before, watching and following her waddling crinkling behind. Out of the nursery, through the living room, up the stairs, to the south wing, through a door into a hallway with green carpet and painted landscapes adorning the walls, and through a door at the end of the hallway revealed an empty room with white paper covering the entire floor and the walls. In the corner of the room were buckets on the floor; they were given their own exposed corner. He realized why, looking into the buckets to see they were all filled close to the brim with different colored paint. Closing the door behind her, Mantra gazed at Mind with a warm smile. He was astonished by all of it. Mantra stamped her hoof into one of the buckets, covering it entirely in blue paint.
"Are you going to paint me a pretty picture, little one?" Mind cooed at her. Her response to him was a flick on his nose.
"Boop~" And Mind felt a cold dab of paint send a chill through his body. "I'm going to paint you pretty, little one." She giggled out, planting her hoof on the paper they stood on, making a print. Mind stuck his hoof into the green paint bucket. His hoof trembled as he stared at it covered completely in the goop; he was overcome by a familiarity that was so deeply buried it took his heart with it as it surfaced. He could feel the color surge through him as he tentatively reached for the paper-covered wall, his hoof tread across the paper and created a sloppy green smear.
The two gave in to hours upon hours of hoof painting, trying to cover every inch of the room with whatever little creations came to their minds, their doodles comparable to something actual foals would draw. Neither were particularly talented in the drawing field, but it didn't matter; they were covered in paint, and they used each other for canvases when they ran out of space.
Mind lay sprawled on his belly on the paper-drenching array of colors, purple hoof prints covered the seat of his diaper and the base of the back of his hind legs. Mantra lay beside him on her back with her purple hooves folded across her chest. She then crawled over and rolled Mind onto his back and started painting on his belly, claiming she needed to add one more touch, and it was a purple heart. Mind looked around the room; there was no way he could tell how long they've been in there for given that sunlight couldn't penetrate the walls.
Many attempts to leave were halted by paint-drenched hooves bringing a stallion back down to the floor, but when the two finally agreed to leave the room, the pink sky shone to reveal the specks of dust that fluttered about the window.
"I think it's time for a bath, a quick dinner, and then bed, young lady."
Two rolled up damp diapers were piled on top of each other on the tiled bathroom floor. The shower head screamed to adjust the water temperature and soaked the two together. Mind had never shared a shower with anyone before, but neither had Mantra. After they scrubbed the amalgam of colors off each other and let it pour down the drain, Mind set the plug, allowing the shower water to pool into the tub.
"Did you have a lot of fun today, my little girl?" Mind asked, stroking his hoof through her darkened soaked mane.
"I did~"
"Is the little filly glad I helped keep her naughty urges away?" Mind wore a wide smirk. His little filly blushed and nodded. He turned off the shower and lay with her in the warm water. He wasn't wrong; Mantra absolutely loved indulging in the innocence of baby play at the cost of suppressing her urges, even if she was holding back something so strong she was helpless to control on her own. He could've let her have it her way, but then the resolution after intercourse would've taken both of them out of the mood for baby play, even if Mantra were to hold off wanting to do the dance with him thirteen times again, which she most likely wouldn't have. Mind and Mantra both knew all this, and their comfortable silence together in the bath was enough to show that to one another.
A hoof gently brushed through Mantra's mane. She lay next to Mind on the couch with her head resting in his lap. The only light illuminating the room came from the multiple colors flashing from the screen before them. A big bowl sat on the table next to them, empty saved for grains of salt and popcorn kernels. Mantra was turned onto her back and a bottle of grape juice was placed in her mouth, her second favorite. Her thick diaper rested comfortably underneath her baby pink fleece hoofed sleeper with azure moons on it and a lock secured at the zipper, claiming it'd help keep her head out of the gutter. Mind wore a contrasting baby blue one with red-orange suns and his was also locked for the same reason.
The keys for the sleepers sat in a lock box upstairs, a lock box with a timer that Mantra actually suggested. It would remain locked for another ten hours, effectively keeping the two babies snug in their pajamas overnight without worry of their diapers coming off. Truthfully if they really tried, they could still bring each other to a generous orgasm, but when Mantra put on one of her favorite movies, they were both so far in their foal headspace that there was absolutely no room for dirty thoughts to find a home within them. Mind's attention was grabbed by something rather silly that happened on the screen.
"You and your girly horse movies~"
The mobile above Mind's crib spun, the centrifugal motion of it made Mind's eyelids grow heavy, as well as Mantra's, her pacifier not necessarily helping her.
"Hey Daddy." Mind turned his head toward her, and she removed her pacifier to give him a kiss, then put it back in her mouth. "This is the best birfday ever. Thank you very much, sweetheart." She then started to cuddle into him. "Tomorrow is business as usual. As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal."
And the two foals fell fast asleep, the lullaby of the mobile coming to a crawl then to a stop.
Author's Note
This chapter was mostly to emphasize the switch aspect of ABDL relationships; usually the best caregivers are the ones who desire to be babied the most, and Mantra is absolutely no exception to this.
Usually people in these types of relationships don't baby each other because they feel they owe one another, it's out of a genuine want to make someone else happy; something I feel I conveyed very easily with this one.

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                 Chapter 10: Schism Part 1                 
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Chapter 10: Schism Part 1
Air escaped from Mind's bottle with a loud hiss, the sweet strawberry milk tickled his taste buds and quenched his thirsting throat.
"But yeah, I've figured out what I'm going to do now."
"Oh?" Snowy replied with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm going to take some time to myself. A year, maybe two at most, just to enjoy baby time. Just to recuperate from this whole thing. And then I'm going to go back to college and I’m going to get my doctorate. And after that, I’m going to work for a couple of years, then I'm going to ask Mantra to marry meeeee!" The last word of his sentence was simultaneously an angry groan and Mind mashed buttons on his controller out of mild frustration. "Dude, fuck this guy."
"Do you think Mantra would be willing to wait that long for marriage? You know how mares are with this shit; they always want to tie the knot right away." A smirk spread across the pegasus’ right cheek mid-sentence.
"I'm surprised your first question wasn't something along the lines of 'Marriage? Are you crazy?' Haha." A hoof then sent the controller sliding along the floor to Snowy. "Your turn to try to kill Gatling Gun Guy." The controller sat right where it was instead, letting their adventure run with their character standing still, being unable to actually pause the game.
"We've been friends for years, Mind. I can already tell you’ve thought a lot about this. I guess it was a bit early to ask you before; the situation was a bit different and new things were happening."
"Yeah, that meeting really helped me realize that what's in the past is in the past. I may not have my magic anymore, but I still have my knowledge, and I can still help ponies and do society a great service. Now, you know originally that I wanted to be an NP-”
“Yeah, I was about to ask what made you decide to get your doctorate.”
“Well, I really thought about how much time Mantra and I have to spend our lives together. Becoming a doctor would be significantly lengthier, but what is a decade in comparison to a century?"
"Well like I said," Snowy said upon setting his sippy cup of apple juice back to the floor, "you know how mares are. They usually want to tie the knot as soon as they can."
"Well, good thing Mantra isn't a usual mare.”
“I still can’t get over what you told me your psychology professor said.”
“Oh yeah, when she practically was giving dating advice in class; when she said that mares who are eager to get married are the ones who want to have more sex. ‘High risk, high reward’.” The two then courteously laughed the story off. “You know, realistically I could get my doctorate as well as the title of ‘wizard’. Well wait, without my magic… What would that be called? A PhD? Maybe a ‘PhD in Magical Arts’?”
“A PhD sounds about right. But hey, if you're truly happy with Mantra and sincerely want to do this, I fully support you." Snowy held up his cup. "To friendship~" And the bottle met the sippy cup, the plastics making a clunk to commemorate the moment.
"I do have a question I've been meaning to ask for a while though, Snowy: What is this place?"
"Still in Ponyville, just in a small community on the east side."
"That's not entirely what I'm asking."
"I know, I'm getting to it. Right before the whole mind control thing, Daddy told me about this small ageplayers community, but it didn't really gain a lot of popularity until after you went missing. Or rather, after Mantra abducted you, I guess. When I told you about it, there was only Patty’s shop, but now there are a couple of adult sized baby swings at the park, at least last time I checked, and that carnival we went to so far, but everyone in the community is very supportive of the lifestyle, especially with the support of Twilight, Rainbow, and all of them. It's a paradise in the works, but it's a paradise nonetheless. I can't wait to see what it becomes next summer."
"Next summer?"
"Well, I don't plan to stay here forever. Don't you remember I'm going north for field training? I love being a little, but Daddy and I have lives too."
"Right, of course. Sorry, I guess with all that's happened, some memories still-"
"Don't apologize. Anyway, Daddy has a summer home here now, so I'm coming back every year to spend three months with him as his little. Maybe I can convince Clan and Glam to swing by after their tour with Iron Maiden."
"Well, I'll be here every time you come back. You're not mad at me, though? I know we planned on going into work together, and I feel bad throwing a cog in the wheel."
"It's perfectly fine, dude. Don’t worry about it. I didn't expect you to follow through with all that's happened. Besides, I doubt you want to get your doctorate and basically end up doing EMT work."
"Snowy, you're the best friend a unicorn could ever ask for."
Smooch~ Ninety-nine. Smooch~ One hundred. Mind kept wiggling, many crinkles elicited from underneath his blue hooved sleeper. Smooch~ One hundred and one. Mind was nervous when he told her his plan, but he was quickly melted into a bubbling babying mess to hear approval that he somewhat already predicted to pan out perfectly.
"I think that's a great idea. Two years with my baby sounds great to me; time wouldn't be so precious if there never was an end. In fact, I think it's perfect! I'll take extra special care of you, and teach you how to eat on your own, and how to sleep in a big bed by yourself, and how to drink from a big colt cup, and potty trai- skip that step~" Mind couldn't even pretend to protest with how much she pushed his buttons with that one. "In fact let’s skip all those steps~ And then when the two years are up, I'll take you to Ponyville for school every morning, and pick you up every afternoon, and help you study, and every time you come home, I'll put you in front of the screen with dragon paws, or in your bouncer, or in a playpen." Mind could only wiggle in excitement, wearing a smile that he couldn't wipe away.
Those with ambition often find themselves troubled with what they really want to do with their life, and will even develop the impression that achieving their biggest dream is all or nothing. Ambitious infantilists are often torn between two dreams: What they want to accomplish to make an impact on the world, and what they want to do to fulfill their most intimate fantasies. Waking up every morning staring at one’s diapered self surrounded by vertical bars is magical. Waking up every morning knowing one has made his/her mark on the world is also magical. Waking up every morning staring at one’s diapered self knowing he/she made his/her mark on the world is a magic like none other.
"As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal." The pink mare said, tucking in her pacified charge and spinning his mobile. Mind fell fast asleep with a warm smile and an overwhelmed heart. Being a doctor was far down the road. For now, he was just a two-year-old, and he needed Mantra to care for him.
Mind woke up one morning deciding to lower the drop side and hop out of the crib on his own. His sleeper-ensnared hooves made the floor creak on his way out of his nursery, and the smell of bacon graced his nostrils. He followed the scent through the hall and into the kitchen. Mantra turned her head from the stove with a smirk.
"Hey, how'd you get out of your crib?"
"I was lifted out by the smell, like a cartoon." He closed the distance between his caregiver and himself. "What am I having for breakfast?"
"You mean you don't want eggs and bacon?" Mind gave her a half-incredulous head tilt. "Seriously, I think you're ready for a real breakfast; a little colt like you sweet enough to take care of his mommy deserves it… But of course I'd be more than happy to keep giving you Foal-At-Heart carrots if you really want~"
"Nah, I need my other food groups, Mommy. I think my body is well-supplied with enough beta-carotene and vitamin K… For the rest of my life."
"I hope you like your eggs scrambled." Mind stepped in very close and gave Mantra a long kiss on her cheek. His raised tail lowered back into place with the smacking of his lips.
"Scrambled is perfect. I'm going to go watch Dragon Paws." Mind then started to walk away quickly.
"Hey, you're not slick." Mantra said, beginning to give chase into the living room. "Get back here, stinkybutt!"
Later that day, Mind woke once more from his afternoon nap. He stretched and a kiss was planted on his head by a mare who lay beside him.
"Did you have a nice nap?"
"I love you so much~"
"Aw, you're so sweet~" She gave him another kiss and started pressing her hoof against his rear end, eliciting crinkles against a clean pant. Mind looked into her eyes, surprisingly unchanged in color, smiling at her. “Nothing?”
“You’re awfully eager to have another messy diaper on your hooves… More than usual, I mean.”
“I’m just being diligent.” Mind then grew a dubious smirk. “Oh, you know the real reason why.” She then started ruffling his mane.
“But I want you to say it.”
“Well,” she said, her irises still refraining from fading into pink; this would be an answer that came straight from her heart, “it’s a reminder that you still need me. To make sure your bottom is clean. To tell you it’s a perfectly normal thing to do. To comfort you, and to care for you… For the rest of your life.” The blushing stallion giggled in response. “And I promise to love you and care for you forever, my sweet little foal.”
And care was what Mantra committed herself to do. Days passed by slowly, each loving moment between the two seeming to last forever. Every feeding, every change, every nap, every bedtime, every outing, every playdate. They were all the most intimate moments Mind, and Mantra had together, and while they had sex to show for it once in a while, the real power at work was the innocence and love the two felt for one another. And they would continue to spend the rest of their lives together, having nothing but the best of times.
“Come on, do what I say! Begone! Kill yourself! KILL YOUR SELF!” His voice rang across a black void in tandem with another voice he couldn’t make out. He heard it once more, a bit clearer that time. He figured out to whom it was calling out to and then he heard it again.
"Mind, wake up!" He awoke in a cold sweat and tears started to stream down his face. His dropside was lowered, and Mantra climbed into his crib and held him tightly. Mind couldn't even find the words to say to her, his breath taken by sobbing that she had never heard from him before. Her eyes were a deep turquoise as she stroked his mane.
The stallion lay before the screen, only facing the wall, his thoughts bound and constricted by what was plaguing his dreams. Mantra wrested him from his sulking position and pulled him into another warm embrace. She telekinetically floated a pacifier toward his grasping mouth while assuring him that he had nothing to worry about, and that she sent a message to someone to make sure of it. It didn't take more than a few seconds of nursing on the nipple for Mind's thoughts to settle, and he would carry on the rest of the day like usual.
There was only one pony Mind could logically deduce for Mantra to contact; Mantra's special connection with her, as well as her duties of the night, made it too obvious.
"As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal." Mind managed to have a pleasant nap earlier that day, but the real test was a full night's sleep. The circling mobile above him proved itself more powerful than the sense of apprehension that would've kept anyone awake at night.
The red-maned pony stood before a wide wavy celestial path that led into a white pillar of light peeking out from space-dye darkness. Falling off the path would most certainly lead to a perpetual fall into the cosmos. Mind knew his adversary awaited his next attempt at reaching the light.
“Mantra told me I was slacking.” A voice said to him matter-of-factly. A dark blue mare with a royal blue enjeweled mane faded in beside him, facing the light. She wore a crown, a broach, and a mark on her flank all as black as night.
"In fairness, I don't blame you."
"It's my duty to help everypony in need regardless of how you think I feel about you.” Mind attention was gathered, sensing her statement as genuine. “Looks like your task is simple: Reach the light and you’ll be rid of these nightmares once and for all."
"The task isn't the problem. The problem is what stands before it." Upon his statement, a towering silhouette of a unicorn sparkling in a sky blue aura blocked the bright path.
"Princess Luna," the silhouette boomed with Mind's voice paired with a lower-pitched, bone-chilling, demonic filter, "what a pleasant surprise. You too will get to witness my power first-hoof."
"Yourself." Luna said, also matter-of-factly, starting to walk toward it. "Makes sense."
"No," Mind replied, "this is the piece of shit I used to be."
"I can see why you were struggling with this." Luna's horn then started to gather light. "I'm banishing this nightmare to the gap between dimensions~"
"You will do nothing of the sort!" The silhouette said. Upon his command, a beam of white lightning shot out of the mare's horn, missing its large target as if she were aiming at something else entirely. The beam soared through the cosmos until it faded out of view. "Collapse! Lie down and remain still." With her aura quickly fading from her horn, Mind watched Luna fall onto her side before he ran toward her to inspect her motionless body. Her face wore a panic that could make one’s hairs stand on end.
"I can't move…" She gasped for breath. "I can't move!"
"And now let's play~ How about we start with some nerves? Oh, how about the cervical ones first? Poke~" Luna writhed and screamed in agony, unable to move herself in any other manner.
"Stop it!" Mind pleaded at the silhouette.
"Stop? This is what you wanted."
"No, I don't!" Upon which, the silhouette induced another agonizing scream from the helpless mare before them.
"You're denying it in front of her to save face. You wanted the blood of the Royal Sisters and of Twilight and her friends, and you would've done anything to get it."
"No, that was never what I wanted." Another stomach-turning scream filled the depths of space. "I'm a pacifist; I never believed violence to be the answer to anything in my life."
"But you also believed in the prevailing of justice. You truly believed they were heroines and that they stood to make the world a better place. But then one day they betrayed you, they vilified you, and they took everything away from you, and you wanted nothing but to make them face justice." A sky blue aura matching the one shrouding the silhouette wrapped around Luna's head and neck. "Let this be the first testament to the injustice that you faced."
"NOOOOOOO!"
Mind sent himself careening into his crib bars. He lay trembling with Princess Luna's screams echoing through his head. Not only her physical screams, but the utter despair, helplessness, and anguish she felt before the merciless monster rampant about in his dreams. She most certainly would've been killed had he not awakened sooner… But did he truly even wake up in time?
"Mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"
Mantra could only provide her hooves and her uncertain assurance that Luna was unharmed, to such uncertainty Mind made note of. Mantra endured a myriad of her sobbing lover's cries that the monstrosity in his nightmares killed her; that he killed her. Thankfully for both of them, Mantra received a message from Celestia at the crack of dawn: Luna was shaken quite a bit, but unharmed.
"Maybe we could take you to a nurse or Ponyville General and get you some pills for these nightmares or something." Mantra said as she taped the shaken pony into a fresh diaper.
"Well, nurses aren't allowed to prescribe drugs, first of all." Mind said. "Second, it's unknown as to what our bodies do during sleep, let alone dreams." Mantra lifted him off the changing table then started weaving a brush through his mane. "Getting over nightmares is more psychological than anything. Subconsciously I still feel guilt over my powers and I just need time to get over it. I don't think there's much more that can be done, especially since even Luna failed to stop that thing."
"You said that there isn't much more to be done. That means that there are some options. At this point, we should try anything. So tell me everything you think is possible."
"Well," Mind said with a hoof to his chin, "I did develop a spell that allowed me to function without sleep whatsoever, but it's very intricate and complicated. It requires an absolutely delicate and precise magic touch like mine that I don't think anyone else has." He lowered his hoof, stood himself, and followed the pink mare through the hall and into the kitchen.
“Well, my baby isn’t going without sleep. We’ll save that option and only use it if we have to.” Mind then watched himself be lifted and his crinkling butt pressed against the seat of his high chair.
"There are medicines that could reduce the amount of REM sleep, like antidepressants. Pharm was a blurry subject for me, so I don't know exactly what kind would help. But even if they did help, it'd only be a temporary fix; my body would eventually develop a tolerance to it."
"Princess Twilight Sparkle owes me a favor. Maybe amidst her research she found a remedy for this. Or maybe you could even teach her a spell. Maybe even the sleepless one if you have to."
"As well-versed in magic as she is, her touch would have to be microscopically precise. I don't think she'd be able to perform any of my spells."
"We could at least go see her, right?She did figure out how to break your mind control spell afterall, right?"
“Yeah, she did… I don’t suppose there’s any harm in that.”
An alicorn with a purple coat rubbed her temple at the very thought of it. Usually the violet-maned mare would be ecstatic to learn and try new spells, but the very nature of Mind's magic left her precarious and hesitant.
“I’ve never tried using magic on something I couldn’t see before.”
"Well, how did you break my mind control spell? Which I'm still very sorry about, by the way."
"I had to change the spell on every single pony I treated, but basically it helped cleanse the pony of any magic present in them that wasn't their own. Nightward actually helped me develop it."
"That makes sense. It's kind of like a blood transfusion."
"I guess you could put it that way. How does this ‘wakefulness’ spell of yours work?"
"The spell keeps adenosines from attaching to the receptors. Adenosines are the neurotransmitters that, when they attach to their receptors, cause sleepiness."
"And you did this to your own brain?" The winged unicorn asked incredulously.
"Yep. I guess we both share a love of ambitiously using magic." Mind then gave an awkward chuckle.
"How well would you trust me doing that?"
"It took me years to master my techniques. Breaking my spells is one thing, but you have no experience touching things at microscopic level, and you need to be able to touch and manipulate tens of thousands of neurotransmitters at once."
"Yeah, I’m not attempting this."
"Yeah, I didn't think you would. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a very talented magic practitioner; I wouldn’t be able to teleport to save my life, but my spells are a bit unordinary.”
"I know a spell that can possibly stop the nightmares, but dreams are more Luna's department, so I haven’t really tested it for long-term effects on the psyche."
“We’ll do it.” Mantra said, speaking in Mind's place and giving Twilight full permission to do it. Mind didn't protest and he lay on a table cleared off for him, waiting for the magic to overtake himself.
"Just close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing." The stallion did as the princess said and lay stiff on the table and started to feel a magenta magical grip overtake him.
"What does this do, exactly?" Mind asked her.
"Well, it's supposed to help you sleep soundly at night."
"But he's not having trouble falling asleep." Mantra interjected.
"No, it makes sense, Mommy. Remedies for sleep disorders also apply to nightmares."
"They're not different?"
"They are, but they aren't."
The conversation was abruptly ended by Twilight as she requested silence for concentration. Mind allowed her spell to course through him, giving him a lift in his spirits, but results wouldn't be seen until later that night. He began to relax, counting up in his head while imagining Twilight's spell as a soft white light flowing throughout his body. But while her soothing spell did its work, her mild inner anguish was doing work of its own.
"Alright, that's that. I could also recommend a shop that sells magical dream catchers, but that's all I can do."
"Thank you very much for your time, Twilight." Mantra said while helping her partner off of the table. With Mind to his hooves once more, he took a deep breath before speaking again.
"There is one more thing you could do for me, Twilight." Her head turned curiously. "I'd like for you to tell me how you're doing," her head tilted, "because I know you’ve been feeling uncomfortable around me."
"Considering all that’s happened, I've been pretty okay." Her heartbeat fluttered terribly, beating like a drum against Mind's thoughts. "Well, I guess I am a little nervous; I never showed up to your forgiveness meeting and was a little worried you'd be mad about that. But the truth is that I didn't show up because I was so tired; I had a long night the day before. There’s never really a dull moment being the princess of friendship, especially these days." Twilight Sparkle, despite what she was saying, was ironically an open book to Mind: She was truly unsettled being around him, even further so upon him pointing it out.
"No, I understand. We all have lives, and I don't expect them to halt just for me. But since you weren't there, I do want you to know how truly sorry I am for all the trouble I caused."
"It's really alright." Mind had to hold back a reactionary head shake.
"You know, I think I can help you with something. You said your spell flushes outside magic out of the pony's body, but you had to change the spell depending on the pony. Your magic had to help the antibody response to push out my control, but at the same time, your magic needed to be unaffected by the same response. I can give you the name of the blood bank where I donated all the time; I’m type O-negative, so if you remake your spell using the magic in my blood, you won't need to remake the spell ever again… Just in case another pony happens to discover the same method I did."
"You really think that would work?"
"Like I said, your spell is like a blood transfusion, and O-negative is the ultimate donor. Our blood and our magic have a lot of similar properties given the parts they play in giving us life. You're more than capable of harnessing control over such properties."
"Of course~ I could probably even further my magic studies with that. I think you should pay all my friends a visit for closure. Just to show them that you're really not a bad pony."
"I think that's a wonderful idea~" Mantra said with a hoof stroking her charge's mane.
"Yeah… It is…" The red-eyed stallion reluctantly concurred.
"I think it'd help with your nightmares if you knew that they forgive you just as much as Celestia and I do."
"That's not a bad idea at all."
As much as Twilight said she forgave him, and as much as Mind wanted to point out his ability to detect lying, he withheld. He knew she was genuine in wanting to forgive and forget, but it wasn't something one could do in an instant, or even in a day. Especially with how much anguish he caused to those close to Twilight; her mentor, her brother, and her best friends were all victims to new levels of terror by his hoof. Twilight unfortunately also had a history of preaching about second chances, but giving them out selectively; something that Mind was confident she had learned from since, but the fact still remained.
On Mind's suggestion, Mantra accompanied him to Ponyville General. Uncomfortable silence was all that was between the two in the waiting room. Mantra gave a sigh before striking conversation once more.
"You know, you have to face the rest of them eventually."
"And I will, but it's too soon."
"This is not something up for debate, little foal." Mind hesitated at first to answer to her firm condescending tone, but the vanilla-dominant nature of the situation forced him to retaliate.
"I will face them, but let's at least see if Twilight's spell works before I do."
"Yet you're eager to see this doctor."
"It'll be worth it, Mommy. Trust me."
In the corner of the doctor's office sat Mind giggling while being enticed by Mantra's magic bathing the bead maze beads before him. Toys in doctors' offices usually weren't very fun, even for actual foals; the charm of being a foal playing with toys in a doctor's office served to work wonderful magic. Mind couldn't help but blush when the doctor opened the door and let herself in. A white mare with black hair. Her pink eyes and pink glasses examined Mind down and up; her gaze stopped at the fluffy garment around his flanks, then again at his head.
"Your horn is gone."
"Yeah, that's a long story."
"Well, you have me for the next half hour. Take a seat on the table and lay it all on me."
"Well, you might already know most of it."
"I might." Mantra then stood herself beside Mind to introduce herself while the pink-eyed mare prepared her notebook. "Mantra? Nice to meet you too. I'm Dr. Peculiarity."
"So, Mind was rather insistent on seeing you particularly."
"Yeah, Mind was seeing me when he first started exhibiting the symptoms of his control spell."
"Yeah, I'm sorry I lied about that." Mind replied.
"I don't blame you." The doctor said. "And I most certainly don’t blame you for skipping your last appointment. But that’s in the past. So tell me what's going on now."
"Well, I've been-"
"Let Mommy tell her, dear." Mantra interrupted with a hoof to his lips, his mouth sat as a centerpiece between two fiery cheeks. "He's been having recurring nightmares, and we're convinced that they're not normal. What we can do?"
"It is possible that these nightmares could be a result of something physiological, possibly by horn removal even. In fact, let me take a closer look at this." The doctor helped herself to parting Mind's mane to closer inspect the spot where his horn was. Mantra physically winced, but went unnoticed to the doctor, and brushed off swiftly to Mind’s ESP. No scar, nor keratin, nor any sign of a horn previously being there were present. "Well, with the way the horn was removed, there's no way of knowing for sure if it's even the cause of your nightmares. I assume you can't feel, Mind? I mean, feel your brain... With your magic."
"No, I don’t have any of those powers anymore. Well, except for my ESP, actually."
"Oh, so you did develop an ability after all."
"Yeah, I guess I'm cursed with being a special case." Mind said with a light snark. "But since I don't have magic to feel my brain anymore, is it possible I could get another MRI?"
"Absolutely. The soonest I could schedule your appointment for would be in a week, but it's no problem. Did you want to just do the MRI? I can schedule a CT as well."
"Uhm… Yeah, let's do both, actually."
"Out of curiosity, Doctor," Mantra said, "if there were a way he could get his horn reattached, would it help him at all?"
"There's no way of knowing for sure. There are still a lot of things about magic that we really don't know, despite how far science and nursing has come. If you are able to reattach it, you should wait until after the MRI to do so."
"Is there anything you can do until then?"
"I can't prescribe anything without a certain diagnosis, but I gave Mind some antidepressants a while back specifically to depress magic during sleep. You could try those if you still have them. Otherwise, we'll have to wait until after we get the MRI results before I can prescribe anything else."
"Okay…" Mantra said, somewhat disappointed while knowing there wasn't much more the doctor could tell her. "Thank you for everything, Dr. Peculiarity."
Underneath the shade of an umbrella, Mind was enjoying a strawberry ice cream cone, courtesy of Mantra; his reward for going through two appointments in one day without hassle, like a good boy.
"Thank you for the ice cream, Mommy."
"You're quite welcome, sweetie."
"And for covering me for the tests."
"Hey, I can't expect a foal to pay his own health insurance, can I?" The two shared a couple of chuckles briefly.
"Listen Mommy, I know you're worried, and I really appreciate your concern for me. And I know you want us to try everything right away, but let's rope it in for the day. Let's at least see if Twilight's spell was all I needed." Mantra feigned a response contrary to how she felt.
"You're absolutely right. If what we try tonight doesn't work, then we'll have something new to try tomorrow."
Truthfully, Mantra didn't want her love to suffer any more than he already did. As much as her heart was telling her to cover every single opportunity they discussed and to leave nothing to chance, she knew that Mind was right. Not that Mind didn't complain about it any less internally. Anticipation, uncertainty, speculation; all of them paved the way to an anxious grip on their well-being.
"As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal." Those were Mantra's last words before Mind found himself facing the white light down the celestial path once more. To his astonishment, the princess of the moon appeared again before the path. The vile silhouette wasn't anywhere to be seen as of yet.
"I'm surprised you came back."
"Like I said before; it’s my duty to help ponies in need."
"No, you can't beat it, and I can’t guarantee it won’t try to kill you again, so get out of here."
"Who do you think you are telling me what to do?"
"I'm sure your sister has a good answer to that question." Luna remained unaffected by his rude demeanor toward her, seeing through to his true noble intent.
"Well, you no longer have mind control. My hooves are firmly planted right here. But you’re right; I can't defeat that thing. You must be the one to defeat it. The only reason I tried to banish it before was because I sensed something not natural about it."
“Not natural?”
“There’s guilt, Mind. There are also fights we have with ourselves. And there are also wars.”
"I've been fighting this thing for a while. It's not like it’s lying either. Everything it said last night was true: I felt so much pain when I had my powers that I wanted to make Celestia and Twilight and her friends suffer for defying me. I felt that they wronged me and I was reveling too much in my power to see that I was the one in the wrong. It consumed me- No, I let it consume me and my common sense."
"And you look back on it in complete disbelief. Believe me, being consumed like that changes a pony." Luna gave a huff. "I spent one thousand years in the moon, and all I could think about was the day I would come back to Equestria and make my sister pay for it. For a thousand years, that is all I would ever think about~ When I came to my senses, everypony forgave me easily, but I didn't forgive myself, and I created the Tantabus to punish myself. And it's quite obvious you don’t forgive yourself either."
"Well, maybe I deserve to be punished."
"My sister pardoned you.” Luna’s voice grew firmer and raised slightly in volume as she continued. “For your information, she doesn't have limitless patience. She pardoned you because she knows that you’re a good pony. Your inner demon does not define who you are. Mind Fission, you are strong and kind, which is why you have ponies who want you to get through this. For Snowy, for Mantra, for everypony who showed up to your forgiveness meeting. Forgive yourself and pull through for them." The princess then faded away, leaving Mind alone to contemplate his next decision.
Hooves began to trek down the path with a newfound determination. The silhouette appeared before Mind once more, towering first, then shrunk down to equal size.
"That'd be such a moving speech if she weren't still kicking herself for her Nightmare Moon bullshit." The silhouette said, its demonic filter still prevalent, but, like its newfound presence, not as intimidating.
"Please, she isn't still hung up about that.” Mind said as he walked past the silhouette. “She only brought it up to show empathy."
"Oh come on, you're just lying to yourself now.” The silhouette suddenly reappeared before him, then started to walk beside him. “She could've easily banished the Tantabus, but she withdrew it; it still lives inside of her. Deep down, she isn't rid of it, just like how you won't be rid of me." Mind stopped in his tracks.
"How about you level with me? Why do you haunt me?"
"Haunt you? I don't haunt you, you just refuse to accept the truth."
"I accepted that I did terrible things," Mind said with a flare of his nostril and furling of his brows, "but I don't accept that you're a part of me."
"Oh, but I am. You even told Luna yourself that you wanted to make Celestia and Twilight’s friends pay for what they did to you. You remember what they did; everything they did to you."
"No, you're responsible for them reacting the way they did."
"Me? Me!? You can keep blaming me for it all, you can keep saying how I did so and so, but make no mistake, you and I are not two separate entities. I am you, and you are me."
"No!” Mind said, rearing, then stamping his front hooves into the path. “I'm nothing like you! You are the antithesis of everything I believe in! I never have been and will never ever be you!"
"You already have been. While the mind is the center of intellect, method, analysis, etcetera, it also houses irrationalities: Fetishes, phobias, and worst of all; schisms. You will never be rid of this schism because a schism is what you are."
Author's Note
Psychology played a really big part into this story, and not so much with the typical ABDL mind traps (self-acceptance and whatnot). While alluded to before, this chapter (and the next) goes deep into the long road of forgiving oneself and how annoying it can be when one thinks themselves into a hole of guilt.

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                 Chapter 11: Schism Part 2                 
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Chapter 11: Schism Part 2
Mind's eyelids swiftly flew open like window blinds, revealing his red tired eyes. He buried his head into his hooves and gave a loud groan that ringed against the walls of his nursery.
While his thoughts still meandered around the words of the silhouette, a morning spent watching Dragon Paws and half an afternoon spent coloring with crayons kept the pacified pony strong enough to go about the day usually. The living room smelled so thickly of foal powder that Mind could swear clouds were seeping out of his diapers with every move. Mantra watched him amass the pile of crayons beside his foalish-looking creation.
A startling chime rang throughout the mansion. Mind was left to play alone in the living room with a pet on his head. Mantra returned with her former AFDL mentor, Azure Burst, standing beside her. The cobalt stallion made himself at home and took a seat beside the coloring pony.
“What are you drawing, sport?”
“I’m drawing the ocean.”
“I hope you’re using one of Snowy’s diapers for reference.” Azure chuckled while Mind’s snickers followed it like a toppling domino.
“Where is Snowy?”
“He’s back at home; his sister is babysitting him today.” Mind rolled his eyes at the thought, given the fact that she was the younger sister. “I just came by to check up on you. Mantra told me about her birthday, and the thought of two foals being alone in such a big house didn’t sit right with me. It’s a good thing I did too, somepony here is running around with her diaper off.”
“Hey!” Mantra interjected while blushing. “That wasn’t the deal! We were supposed to watch him togeth-”
“Go bring me a diaper right now, young lady.”
“But… But…” Azure stared her down with a smile that would fade at the first sign of disobedience. “Yes, sir.”
“Make sure you bring one of the Starry Skies; you need the thickness today.” Starry Skies; the same white diaper with moons and stars on it Mind was put in usually at night.
“I gotta’ go get it from my bedroom then; a certain stinky pony here went through all the ones in his nursery.”
She begrudgingly made her way out of the living room through the foyer. Magic bound around Azure’s horn, gently taking out Mind’s pacifier with a little plop, and lay it on the table.
“Let’s talk, Mind.”
“Oh boy. Is it your turn to lecture me on getting over my nightmares?”
“No, nothing like that. Well, maybe not directly.”
“What do you mean?
“Mind, I’ve known Polyamory for a long time, and I’ve had to help her through some really hard times. She joined my support group shortly after her suicide attempt and I helped her come to terms with fully accepting her AFDL side. She had a little problem with selfishness, but in fairness, a lot of AFDL’s have that problem at first. All it took me was showing her a more conscientious point of view, and I watched her grow into a brave and caring mare. One who was dedicated to make every part of herself a part of her life. And even after her mother’s cancer diagnosis, I watched her leave my support group confident she was going to be just fine. She left very shortly before you joined, actually. Of course, I liked her enough to maintain a close friendship with her outside of the group. And then she changed her name after her mother died. My point, Mind, is that you need to let her in.”
“I suppose I have been kind of naughty.”
“Do you know why she came to me instead of asserting herself over you?”
“That is unlike her. Why is that?”
“She’s afraid. After her mother died, she chose to evade and ignore her problems from then on, except for when she took you into her care. But still, for four years, Mind. She wants to respect your desire to facing your problems head-on, and she wants to help you as much as she can, but she doesn’t know what to do, and that has her utterly terrified.”
“But it’s not entirely wrong to evade problems when there’s nothing one can do about them in the immediate moment.”
“Exactly.”
“So, you want to give her baby time to take her thoughts off of it?”
“Yes. She’ll empathize with your situation better if she feels more invited. Maybe she’ll even find the courage to-” He was interrupted by a hoof’s nudge.
“She’s coming back.” Mind said breaking into a whisper. A hoofstep from atop the foyer stairs made Azure’s ear flick. Mind’s ESP at this point had become an immediate logical conclusion to a lot of his seemingly peculiar connections to everything around him.
A blushing Mantra lay on her back before Azure, who called Mind over, causing the mare to put her hooves over her face, her embarrassment compelling her to look away from the sight of her exposed self laying helplessly before the two, one of whom she would normally look down upon in the same scenario.
“Today’s your lucky day, sport; at the risk of sounding braggy, I’m going to give you some lessons about taking care of a filly that will blow your mind. I mean, split your mind. ‘Fiss’ your mind?” Mind rolled his eyes at the unamusing pun; he didn’t even want to bother correcting him that the verb form of “fission” is “fission”. “That’s a dad joke, we tell those a ton. But yeah, these tips are things that I’ve learned over my years as a caregiver.”
“Are you sure we should be discussing them in front of her?”
“She’s just a baby. She doesn’t know what we’re talking about.” Mantra brought her upper hooves down, folding them with a pout. “First of all, based on what I was told, you did really well on your first day handling her. You even went so far as to change a messy diaper, and believe me, this little filly is quite a stinker.” Mantra gave a mortified groan in response, and then had her plot lifted magikinetically and the fresh diaper slid underneath her. “Now, diaper changing should be seen as a ritual. If you see it as a chore, a task, or even a responsibility, it gets monotonous for the changer.” He then started to apply powder to his hoofs, then massaged it into her rear end. “And you should know, of all ponies, that you don’t want to be changed by sompony impatient. This is why the best caregivers are also the biggest babies.”
“That makes so much sense~”
“What’s important is that you separate your empathy from your role,” Azure then started wiping his hooves clean, “because empathy can sometimes get in the way of your judgment. Be empathetic, but be decisive. You don’t need consent to change the filly, nor do you need to respect her privacy.” He then taped up the fresh pant, Mantra’s crotch and rump now sported the moons and stars proudly on the white extra thick garment. “Give her what you, as the caregiver, believe she needs.” He then took a gaze into her pink eyes. “In all my years of caring for this filly, I’ve learned that she’s a little bit hornier than most and needs to learn some self control.”
“I learned that one first-hoof. Maybe one of these days, she’ll learn to control it herself.”
“If you ask me, I think the real way she’d learn is if you do a little of this on her you-know-what” he said as he tapped his horn with his hoof, “and stop right as she reaches her event horizon.” With her face beet red, Mantra furled her brows and bellowed out to them.
“You better fucking not!” Her pink pacifier with the marigold on the button was swiftly shoved into her muzzle.
“See, this little potty-mouth just lost her talking privileges, and if she says anything or takes her paci out without daddy’s say-so, she’ll be getting a time out.”
“No spanks?” Mind asked as Azure lifted Mantra into a sitting position to put up her hair and tie it into a cobalt blue bow.
“Spanking isn’t an actual punishment,” Azure said while rolling his eyes, “and I’ve never met a foal-at-heart who actually enjoyed time out.” With another glow of his horn, he proceeded to carry Mantra over to the couch to be cradled in his lap and to be pet affectionately. “Sport, could you get me a bottle out of my bag?”
“Yes, sir.”
“It’s important that you don’t stop caring for your baby just because you’re having a conversation. Foals don’t understand grown-up talk, so she’d feel neglected if you stopped a diaper change just to talk to grown-ups.” Mind’s astonished face stared back at him from the glare from the bottle of chocolate milk. “I find carrying a conversation over my foals like that is very powerful; they still know I love them, and they’re reminded of how small they really are.”
Azure’s magic gently took the bottle out of Mind’s hooves, then he replaced the pacifier with it, from which Mantra started drinking promptly, staring into Azure’s face with her eyes a slightly brighter tint than Azure’s. His caressing helped her to fight off the urges that ironically he was making her feel with all this talk around her.
“Actually, why don’t you feed her?” And upon his suggestion, Mind gladly obliged and sat close to Azure on the couch. Mantra lay across his lap, cradled in one hoof and being fed the bottle by another. “Now, bottle feeding is really good quiet time, but instead we’re going to make her feel even smaller, which is also perfectly okay.” Mantra’s eyes still radiated harshly, unable to give any kind of auditory response to the stallions’ laughter due to the milk she was slowly drinking.
“So, should I just keep bottle feedings quiet normally?”
“It depends on what you, as daddy, think your filly needs. You can’t exactly keep pushing her buttons and expect her to be good, that’s not fair, and that’s an error I see a lot of ponies make in the caregiver role. But if you feel she’s earned a reward, you may feel free to spoil her. This brings me back to time out: Another common mistake I see is caregivers making their littles sit in time out for up to an hour, sometimes in a diaper on the verge of leaking.”
“Oh yeah, that’s lovely.” Mind said, rolling his eyes.
“I usually put my foals in time out for five minutes. Sometimes ten if they’re really bad. I’m sure this little filly could tell you stories about my time outs if she weren’t so small at the moment. As I said, if you expect her to be good, you can’t push her buttons all the time, and I practice what I preach; I gave her plenty of opportunity to decompress, but she ended up pleasuring herself like a naughty mare. She even tried to hide it from me, but a good daddy knows what a naughty mare’s horn glows for. I didn’t want to put her in time out because she was naughty, I wanted her to truly learn why she was being punished; because she broke my trust. I had her face the corner and think about what she did, but I gave her a pacifier too. Pacifiers are really good for helping foals focus their thoughts.”
“Oh wow, I never picked up on that.”
“She really is a good girl, though; it only took her two times from me for her to learn. So hopefully, you won’t have to put her in time out. Hopefully she still remembers that I don’t allow her to touch her diaper. She’s also not allowed to use magic.” His voice then changed tone to focus toward a regressing Mantra. “You don’t want to disappoint daddy now, would you?” A gust of air sounded through her bottle and her pink eyes started to dull. “Oh come here.” Azure’s magenta aura wrapped around Mantra and pulled her in close for some gentle pats on her back. “I know. I know you’re a good girl. You haven’t been in time out for a long time. But for your daddy’s sake, let’s just make sure you stay that way. Mind, how about we put on her favorite show for her?” A loud belch followed his suggestion.
“That sounds like a great idea, Azure.” Mind replied with a smile, then taking Mantra back into his hooves with a pacifier floating back into her mouth.
“I’m actually really glad you’re not completely adamant against watching ‘girly horse shows’.” He said with a snide somewhat mockingly mimicky intonation.
“Nonsense. What kind of daddy won’t watch his baby’s favorite shows with her?”
“See, you’re a natural~” Azure then lifted a blue pacifier with his magic and levitated it into Mind’s mouth. “Lesson over~ Cartoon time~” With a few giggles, Mind lay down with Mantra, suckling his pacifier strongly.
“So much for ‘student surpassed master’ little girl.”
“Did she really say that? That’s an interesting claim coming from a filly who isn’t even potty-trained.” The two shared another laugh at Mantra’s expense. “In seriousness, it’s a learning experience for both of us. But I won’t bore your baby brain with my stories.”
“H- Hey!”
“Also, just a reminder that good babies address their babysitters with respect.”
“But I- ...Yes sir.”
“Good colt. Now watch this ‘girly horse show’ with your foal.”
Mind easily felt his little one’s excitement, both arousal and genuine heart-warming joy. While Mantra and her mentor attentively watched the cold open lead into the theme song, Mind’s entertainment was the tempest in the brain of the little filly laying beside him while Azure poked her with his hooves and encouraged her to sing along to the theme song with him. Mind would’ve never imagined thirty seconds of Mantra and Azure singing would make him smile so wide, and even break into laughter toward the end.
“Don’t worry, Mind. Soon, she will teach you all of these songs, and I’m sure she’d love to hear your lovely voice sing them.” Mantra nodded her head enthusiastically to Azure’s proposal. “How about you give it a try?”
“What? But all I know is the first line.”
“Oh c’mon, do it for her~” And with a reluctant sigh and the pacifier still giving him blush-inducing lisps, Mind started to sing the theme song.
“Ponies like me~ Ponies like me~ Something, something, I gotta’ pee~” Before Mind could even complete the humming part, they all burst into laughter.
“Oh, wait wait! Shhh! This is the Nightmare Night episode; one of Mantra’s favorites.”
“Is it really, sweetheart?” Mantra nodded enthusiastically once more, and the three settled down and watched the color-shifting screen for the next fifty minutes; successfully catching two episodes. By the end of which, Mantra’s eyes were marigold again, and Mind detected no trace of her libido left.
Azure allowed another episode to run, but praised Mind for watching and allowed him to return to his drawing. He was pounced upon trying to get off the couch, Mantra wrapped her hooves around him tightly to reaffirm to him her sincere gratitude.
“That’s adorable. She’s very happy you watched her favorite show with her.”
“I can see that~ I love you too, sweetheart, but I have an ocean to finish coloring. You can help me color the sky, if you want~” Mantra clapped her hooves together in joy then ran over to Azure, pointing at the pacifier in her mouth.
“Is it important, little one?” She nodded, and with a smile, Azure telekinetically pulled it out. She then gestured him to lean into her. Mind watched her whisper into Azure’s attentive ear.
“Don’t ask me, ask Daddy.” Her hooves clipped across the floor over to Mind and she delivered him the same secret while a blush formed on her cheeks.
“But sweetheart, I really need your help coloring this sky. It’s a whole lot to color by myself. Plus, I’d rather you do something I can actually trust you to do~” A mischievous smile was all Mantra’s gaping golden eyes and pink plastered face needed to receive to take the hint. Her blush quickly faded when she held the crayon in her teeth to help her partner complete his creation. Mind occasionally took brief glances at his filly’s behind waiting for the perfect opportunity to “check” her. He ended up getting too wrapped up in drawing his ocean, and before he knew it, a sky blue crayon rolled across the page and a pink mare lay on top of him, keeping him bound to the floor with hugs and kisses. “Help! I’m being attacked by a stinker!”
“And who are you to be calling somepony else a stinker?” Azure inquired as he brought himself over to the entanglement.
“I’ll have you know that my padding is qui- Ha ha ha!” Mind was suddenly at the mercy of magenta lights delicately abrading against him, and then a collective effort of hooves attacked him from all fronts, leaving him to wiggle and laugh helplessly.
“Tickles don’t stop until you admit you’re a stinker~”
“Oh come on!” Mind had to say past the laughter being forced out of him.
“Uh-oh, now you have to admit you’re a stinker and that you love it, or else the tickles won’t stop~”
“No way~” The tickling stopped within the quarter second of Azure pressing his lips against the laughing colt’s belly. “No, wait!” And he broke into another uncontrollable storm of laughter at the mercy of Azure’s vibrating lips.
“Okay okay! I’m a stinker and I love it!”
“You love what?”
“I love being a stinker!” Azure showed his satisfaction with a reprieve to the torture. Mind lay on the floor with aching ribs trying to catch his breath. Azure lifted himself up and carried Mantra over to the changing area.
“Now let’s get this smelly filly changed.”
“I got this~” Mind said with a raised hoof, gently lifting himself to his hooves.
“You can help~”
“Oh… Do I get a lesson on this too?”
“Nope, I already know ‘Daddy’ has this down to a fine science, but I can’t expect a little colt to do something so delicate.” At this point, Mind had already given up trying to decipher the rules; and at this point, the only rule was that what the babysitter says goes. Mantra’s gaze was fixed on Azure as he peeled off one of the tapes, then she was swiftly captivated by Polymo. The plush peacock made bird noises that sounded like a stallion’s voice struggling to maintain a mid high falsetto. In what seemed like an instant, “all done,” was uttered from their foalsitter, and her rump was being hugged by a fresh pant. “Your turn, sport.” Mind looked down at his own sodden garment. “You look surprised. Did you really have so much fun playing that you didn’t even notice how soaked you are? How adorable.”
Polymo was wrapped in his hooves during the process, which seemed to captivate him as well. He had forgotten how inviting the touch of a soft plush was. His change was done before he knew it as well. After which, Azure set them both beside each other and urged them to follow him into Mind’s nursery. Their foalsitter retained strength in the face of Mind’s groans and complaints that he wasn’t even tired yet. When placed in his crib, Mind felt convinced enough to fall asleep with Mantra’s warm body huddled in one hoof, his peacock in the other, and a thin summer blanket gently draped over them.
The red-maned stallion was awakened to be entrusted with dressing up a little foal for a trip to the park. Her eye color was soon matching a pink summer mini-dress with outlines of lilies adorned all over it; a dress short enough to leave the mare’s diapered rump exposed at most angles. It was mostly to embarrass her, but Mind claimed that it was for quick and efficient diaper checks, which Azure assumed wasn’t completely true, but not completely false either. Azure praised the colt for his practical thinking.
“And now it’s your turn, sport. I’m sure we have a nice pair of shortalls for you to wear.”
“Me? I’m sorry sir, but I’m allergic to jean dye.”
“Surprise~” Azure said as he lifted a pair of red swishing shortalls out of one of his drawers. “Your mommy told me about your peculiar allergy, so I suggested these. They’re made from a lightweight nylon material, kind of like track pants. So your body shouldn’t be having issues with these.” Azure gave the pony before him a sincere smile. He stared in awe at the outfit before him, both excited to try it on and very grateful to have someone so thoughtful about him.
“Oh~ Well… Thank you~ Thank you so much, sir~”
“Why of course. I just want you two to be the happiest little foals in the world. And what better way to do that than go out for a walk to the park? Good old wholesome not kinky fun. So no teasing each other… Period.”
Mind walked out the front doors of the mansion donned in the red shortalls comfortably grasping him. The elastic shoulder straps helped bring the outfit to a snug form around his groin. His diaper was out of sight and effectively silenced, but left a highly noticeable bulge. Mantra walked beside him in her pink dress, her unrestricted padding crinkling loud, and a smile behind her pink pacifier. Her crinkling was soon swelled up by chirping birds and soon after by conversation fading in on their walk.
He was dressed like a foal. She was dressed like a foal. They were being escorted by a stallion with a diaper bag on his side. Mind didn’t care what other ponies thought, though; he was going to play at the park. His heart was afloat with ideas of purely recreational fun with no teasing from silly mares to drag his thoughts into the gutter. He felt the same joy overcome Mantra as well, with her normal eye color to show for it.
A mare with a green coat and a maroon mane crossed paths with the party.
“Oh Mantra~ It’s been years since I’ve seen you like this~” Peppi couldn’t hold back a gasp, a giggle, then a squeal. “You two look so cuuuuuute! Two cute foals!” Mantra released a loud exhale through her nostrils and furled her brows. Mind gave a light giggle at Mantra’s genuinely annoyed reaction.
“It’s good to see you again, Peppi. I’d stick around and chat, but I have to get these two to the park.”
“Oh, no worries at all. I have to be somewhere right now too. Don’t have too much fun now, you two~” Hooves clipped along the path, fading out behind them.
“I thought Peppi wasn’t an AFDL.”
“Mares are pretty odd, Mind. Isn’t that right, Mantra?” The pink filly rolled her eyes.
Mantra was lowered into one of the adult-sized baby swings and Azure encouraged Mind to push her. A pair of hooves sent wind blowing through her mane, and it didn’t take long for her to give in to a joyous laughter, and Mind couldn’t stop smiling. Every rearing he did to catch the swing filled him with utter glee.
He kept pushing until the filly’s laughter hushed to giggles. He felt a familiar calling build up, and with one final rearing, the urge quickly overtook him. He turned his head back toward Azure with a face beaming red.
“What’s wrong, sport?” Mind was then smacked in his cheek by the swing, which caused Mantra’s giggles to stifle completely. He shook his head and flapped his lips, then reared once more to push her again. His blush faded and he wore a smile once more upon her giggling again. “I think that’s enough swinging, you two.” He knew… Of course he knew.
The sky, grass, and the entirety of the park all spun around Mantra in a slow centrifugal motion. She giggled to herself at the brief sight of Mind being summoned toward Azure, who sat at a park bench. No-one else was at the park to witness it, but that didn’t stop Mind from blushing at the idea of someone catching him in the midst of a diaper change on a bench. Mind was surprised at how much room was still on the bench, and then it struck him that the benches were made extra large specifically for such purpose to help make those who’d have their diapers changed on it to feel smaller.
The bench spun into Mantra’s view once more, and she got a glimpse at shortalls being magically put aside. The next glimpse, a hoof was petting Mind’s head as a magenta light wrapped itself around his diaper, coming undone. Mantra hopped off the spinning contraption and took a moment to regain her balance before she waddled over to the half done exchange.
“Need something, sweetheart?” Mantra stood there silently, her smile peaking out from her pacifier. “Why don’t you go back to the spinny spin? Once I get this stinky diaper taken care of, he’ll be ready to play again.” He then ran his hooves through her mane playfully. “C’mon, go play~” Mantra giggled away back to the spinning contraption and took a seat to catch momentary glimpses at the bench once more.
The teeter-totter, the fence, the bench with Azure rubbing foal powder into a white rear end, the swings, the jungle gym, and the bathroom. All came full circle clockwise: The teeter-totter with two seats on each side of it, the chainlink fence with the one opening where the path is and a sign that approved it for foal-at-heart activities, the bench with a colt being taped up into a fresh diaper, the four adult sized baby swings that swung beside one another, the jungle gym’s assortment of slides, tubes, and bars, and the bathroom which most likely had changing tables inside. Azure insisted he needed to keep an eye on Mantra to justify not taking Mind into a secluded place for his change.
The teeter-totter with the woodchips to cushion falls, the fence with a mare walking along the path, and a galloping stallion fully redressed in his red shortalls jumping onto the spinning disc and grasping onto one of the bars. Now her gaze was focused on the colt across from her having the time of his life. Around and around the world spun around them. A magenta aura brought them to a stop, which then prompted Mind to react to the filly’s stare reaching past him and a new, but familiar, heartbeat thumping in his head.
“Sport, there’s somepony here who’d like to see you.”
“Well, this explains why I couldn’t get a hold of you earlier, Mantra. You two dearies look absolutely precious together, separating you would be heartbreaking.” Her posh accent, the baring in her tone; Mind already knew who it was before he turned to face the white mare herself, the sunlight shining radiantly off her violet coiffed mane and diamonds borne on her flank. “It’s an absolutely gorgeous day to spend outside: The blue sky, the green grass, the rainbow streak that follows Rainbow Dash.” In the brief pause, Mind was taken aback by Rarity’s genuine description of the colors around her. “I said ‘the rain-’” And in a flash, the sky blue pegasus landed beside her.
“I heard you the first time, I just wanted to make sure they were paying attention at how fast I swept down.” A thick snark laced the pegasus’ scratchy extroverted voice. “And that I’m still the best and fastest pony in all of Equestria!” Rarity rolled her eyes before continuing.
“Anyway, Twilight was kind enough to remind us to pay our friend a visit since we couldn’t make it to his forgiveness meeting.” Mind’s hoof reached for his pacifier then cusped it.
“We’re… Friends?” Mind then placed the pacifier in his front pocket.
“Why of course we’re friends, darling; my appreciation for color coordination has grown tremendously thanks to you~”
“Yeah,” Rainbow chimed in, “and as awesome as I already am, you really helped me push myself to new limits.” Her smug expression was then wiped clean, and she dug a circle in the ground with her hoof. “The truth is that we were too afraid to show up, and Twilight helped us realize we were being jerks.”
“The point here is that we are more grateful for our talents now than we were before, and you should be too.” Rarity’s horn glowed its signature sky blue aura to open her saddlebag and take out a small box. “I just had to make you something to go with your adorable ensemble.”
“Why don’t you make yourself an ‘adorable ensemble’ if you love it so much?” Mind gave a courtesy chuckle, which left him smiling a smile he originally wanted to veil due to Rainbow Dash’s intonation in her voice at making that joke.
“And what if I did? Would you really judge your friend’s lifestyle?”
“Well, no, but- I know I’d never sport a diaper; not aerodynamic.”
“Oh calm yourself, Rainbow~ It was merely in jest~ Go on and open it, Mind.” Mind proceeded to fulfill Rarity’s request, still smirking at telltale signs Mind would be able to point out even without his ESP; a tough front like Rainbow Dash’s really made it all make sense. Mind opened the small box to find a lilac purple ascot with a sky blue fold. “Oh, and I insist that you try it on right now.” Mantra’s glance toward Azure prompted him to bathe the ascot in his magic and tie it around Mind’s neck, who courteously and reluctantly accepted it.
“What do you say, sport?”
“Thank you, Rarity.” He glanced around at the ponies surrounding him. “Actually, no. I’m sorry, Rarity. I can’t accept this. It’s a reminder of what I was.”
“It’s a reminder of your talent.” Rarity said. “A talent that was a part of you, and a part of you that really made other ponies’ lives better, whether you believe it or not.” Mind was then startled by a pair of hooves wrapping around him and a magenta-maned filly brushing close against him.
“See, sport? You’ve done great things~ Mantra’s awfully happy for you, so you should be happy too.”
“You know, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Mind said. “Thank you all so much for your support.” He then felt himself being squeezed and pulled away.
“Why don’t you two go play?” Azure said as he pet them both. Mantra waved her hoof to the other two mares and dragged Mind off to the jungle gym. The rest of the afternoon was filled with hooves clipping on equipment and the laughter of two foals constantly reaching the wood chips from the tops of slides. All the while, their clothes were kept dry on multiple occasions as they made their diapers soggier without thought.
The setting sun brought their fun afternoon to an end, and a scarlet sky on their escort home. Upon entering the mansion, Mind and Mantra were led to the kitchen. They were stripped down to their diapers and sat in high chairs, side by side. Bowls of purple foal-at-heart mush sat on each of the trays in front of them, and they both adorned matching bibs around their necks. Despite the protection, the two foals were a mess; halfway through dinner, Azure commented on how he was surprised Mantra was cleaner than Mind. This prompted a white hoof to smear the purple mush into the mouth of the filly beside him, which she retaliated against, and he retaliated against her.
Cobalt hooves and magenta light washed up two foals in the bathtub splashing water at one another, as well as playing with bubbles that hovered about them. After their bath, they were both settled into Starry Night diapers and zipped up into hooved sleepers with zippers that parted them all the way down to the hind left hoof. Mind’s was light blue, while Mantra’s was pink with azure crescent moons on them.
The two foals reached for bottles that levitated before them before their babysitter sat on the couch beside them. As the drink hit their taste buds, they both blushed red upon the realization that they were slipped warm milk.
“I have enough time for one more episode of Ponies Like Me, then I’m heading back home to expect my little one.” He then turned his attention toward Mind. “I think the little filly has earned her talking privileges back. What do you think, Mind?”
“I agree.” Mind said with a smile. Azure confirmed with him and gave Mantra a pet on her head. With a plop, the bottle nipple ripped out of Mantra’s mouth.
“You stink~” She then put the bottle back into her mouth with a giggle.
“Oh Mantra,” Azure said, “you didn’t even wait at all. Looks like your privileges are revoked once more.”
“Nah, it’s fine.” Mind said. “Daddy forgives her.”
“Heh heh. What Daddy says goes.” And Mantra’s pacifier remained laying beside the lamp on the stand next to the couch.
The upbeat credits theme to Ponies Like Me ended faintly through the foals’ ears, their babysitter standing before them in the open doorway to a dark night sky. He gave them both a kiss on their cheeks and slung the diaper bag around his neck.
“Now don’t make me come back and put you to bed, you hear? Get to bed on time.”
“Yes sir.” The two said, seeing their babysitter farewell.
“You should come by and give us more lessons, Azure~” Mind said.
“Why? I thought ‘the student surpassed the master’. What more could I possibly have to teach you?” They all laughed and bid each other good night, a yawn trailed off of Mantra’s farewell.
“Mind, I want to show you something really cool.”
In the north wing of the upper floor of the mansion, right beside the master bedroom, was a filly’s room; Mantra’s old room. Mind was absolutely astonished to find that it was basically a room worthy of a foal princess. Toys were scattered around the soft carpet, plushies about as big as the two of them put together sat in the corners of the room, a changing table their size, with adequate supplies neatly lay in its cubbies, stood beside the walk-in closet which had practically an entire department store of foalish attire. To top it all off, it had a queen size crib. And yet, it seemed its only recent purpose was having a room to sleep.
“This is the best bedroom I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Aw, thanks cutie. Now get your plot in that crib.” Her eyes started to glow pink and the two found themselves sharing the enormous crib together.
“I do have to ask, though. It looks like you’re not in this room too often. Why is that?”
“Because this room is my kink-free zone,” she said with a smirk, “I try to make this room as foalish and pure as possible. It helps me keep in little headspace when I really want to be.”
“You know that me being in this crib with you isn’t going to help, right?”
“I suppose there’s a first time for everything.”
“Nah, let’s keep this room pure. I like the idea of having a room like that.”
“So, what do you want to-” A yawn interrupted her sentence, and Mind gave one with his mouth just as wide in response. “That warm milk really hit me.”
“Let’s just sleep, then. I’ll just count sheep out loud for you and not say anything else.”
“Hehehe, okay. But as you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal.” Mind refrained from snarkily telling her that he wasn’t nearly as helpless as her and proceeded to count sheep out loud. He broke into back-to-back yawns at four, her eyelids simultaneously growing heavy, and she didn’t even notice he had stopped counting.
Despite Luna’s diligence to help Mind through his ordeal, he cursed himself being fully aware that she was afraid the silhouette would show up at any moment, and refrained from pointing it out.
“Luna, I think I got this. You really don’t have to be here if you don’t want to. I’m sure there are other ponies dreaming right now who could use your guidance.” Luna gave a couple of courtesy chuckles in response.
“You have a good heart; keeping your guilt from concerning others.”
“Well, of course. I try not to burden others around me; I feel like it’s the right thing to do.”
“Everypony has guilt, Mind. As much as we like to take experience from it and to leave it in the past, there’s always a small part of us that wishes we could take back everything we’ve done wrong.”
“Princess Luna, how much did Celestia tell you about her encounters with me?”
“I don’t think recalling that will help you at the moment.”
“I just want your observation. Indulge me, Luna.” The princess raised a hoof to her mouth, quickly hesitant to do so, but then just as quickly showed trust in the stallion.
“...Okay then… My sister knew of your power and took it upon herself to deal with it directly. She didn’t want to put her student in any harm’s way. When she came back to Canterlot, she assured me that everything was perfectly fine and that there was nothing to worry about, and even ordered everypony in her guard to not pursue you any further. And then Twilight Sparkle broke the spell, and that was when she told us everything...”
“Well? What did she tell you?” Luna put a hoof behind her head nervously. “Princess, I need to know what she told you.”
“You… Tested her because you thought she was faking. You healed her after that, then took her through a walk in the park, then you sent her back to Canterlot.”
“Stop right there. She didn’t tell you about what I said to her that day? During our walk.”
“Well… No.”
“I told her she was evil, Luna.” Luna gave an incredulous hum. “I told her she was evil… For banishing you to the moon… What’s your take on that?”
“My sister felt the same way for a long time. She borne that sacrifice for a long time, probably still does to this very day.”
“I know she does. I didn’t say it to give her a revelation. I said it because I wanted to hurt her.”
“Oh…” Luna didn’t resent him, but she felt forced to word her next statement without sounding resentful. “Expand on that.”
“She said that I was evil. And despite me justifying it and trying to use my power for what I thought was the greater good, I was evil. I am evil. I wounded Celestia in her heart, figuratively and literally, and she forgave me. Fuck, she even apologized to me. I’m not worthy of any of that from anypony.”
“This is that thing talking and not you. Take that anger with yourself and use it to destroy that demon. Promise me you’ll do that, Mind.”
“...Okay. Yeah, you’re right. I’m always doing this shit to myself. Making vortices out of my own thoughts; twisting them to constrict me and drag me down.”
“That’s good that you’re aware. Now go forth and destroy that demon, and prove to yourself that you mean it.”
Luna faded out of his dream once again and Mind took an intrepid step toward the white light to have the silhouette appear before him swiftly.
“I came up with a name for you: The Schism.”
“Should I be flattered?” The silhouette replied with the same filter.
“It’s only a name that makes sense. I don’t see a reason to be flattered about that at all.”
“Your attempts at feigning courage amuse me. ‘Take that anger with yourself and use it to destroy that demon.’ What a load of horseshit.”
“It’s not horseshit. I kept telling Luna that I was evil, but you’re the one who’s evil. You poisoned me into thinking otherwise.”
“Good. Evil. These perspectives don’t really concern you. You know that the world isn’t black and white. No matter how much you try to simplify it and create a black and white fiction, the reality is that your perception of the world and your constant questioning of said perception creates nothing but complicated scenarios; complicated scenarios where nopony is truly good and nopony is truly evil. Luna is evil for becoming Nightmare Moon. Sunbutt is evil because she imprisoned her unappreciated unloved sister for a millenium. But you don’t see them as evil, you don’t even see them as completely good. Ponies who can’t distinguish the lines between good and evil are the truly evil ones.”
“I am not evil. You can try telling me I am over and over again, but you and I both know that that’s not true.”
“Okay… So how are you not evil?”
“I… I always thought about a greater good first. Never for my own selfish gain.”
“You told a stallion to go fuck himself. What greater good does it serve to mind control somepony to try to literally fuck himself?”
“I lashed out unnecessarily a couple of times, but everypony does stupid things they’re not proud of now and again. I did some pretty bad things, but I never took pleasure in it.”
“What about when you had a taste of your plan to take over Equestria? All the guards on duty, Shining Armor, and even Celestia all groveled at your hooves as you stood on that balcony overlooking Ponyville under a freshly risen sun. You had to laugh.”
“Shut the fuck up~” Mind shook his head in fury.
“You had to laugh~ And you couldn’t stop~ You just laughed and laughed and laughed~” Mind threw his hoof at the Schism, making contact with nothing and stumbling over. His head was all that didn’t rest on the celestial path. “Ponies like you have a tendency to claim they do things for a greater good only to justify their own selfish intent. So I’ll ask you again. How are you not evil?”
Mind awoke with the cackling of the Schism echoing through his head. Beside him, Mantra was still sound asleep, despite the generously incandescent sun gracing the room. Mind put on a brave smile, kissed Mantra on her head, and wished her good morning. No secrets were kept, though; Mind told Mantra about the nature of his dream and about the Schism. Mind didn’t despair, however, much to Mantra’s delight, even if he were feigning it, she felt better off not knowing for sure.
Dr. Peculiarity pulled some strings to get Mind’s appointment bumped up to that very day. The long wait for the test results to develop passed in an instant. In her office hung the results from both his MRI and his CT, multiple angles of each one side-by-side. She pointed to his CT at the angle from above.
“Do you see what I see, Mind?” Mind stepped closer to it and examined it thoroughly.
“Is that an embolism?”
“Yes. It looks like when your horn was removed, your cornual nerve was blocked magically and not surgically. You need to have such a spell touched up often otherwise it’ll wear off and your cornual nerve will continue to output magic where your horn should be.” A spike of guilt that wasn’t his own ran through Mind. He turned his concerned gaze toward Mantra, who was listening attentively to the doctor and masking it. “But because you don’t have a horn, the magic is concentrating next to your brain and it formed an embolism right where your horn is supposed to be. An unnatural clotting of blood right next to your source of magic output is probably what’s causing your nightmares too.”
“So,” Mantra said, “what do you suggest, doctor?”
“Well, normally I’d imagine Mind would be able to treat it without resorting to anything invasive, but without his magic, this thing is going to require surgery to remove.” The very thought of surgery made Mind’s heart sink. “Reattaching it isn’t a possibility either, is it, Mind?”
“No, Doctor; I don’t know where it even is, but I really don’t want it back anyway. I’m actually surprised you even suggested reattaching it.” Mantra felt in her gut the need to interject, but was caught in traps of her guilt of her own.
“Bygones are bygones, Mind. But if your horn’s really gone, then you need an operation to get rid of the embolism and block the cornual nerve.”
“Alright.” Mind said unhesitantly with a hard swallow. “I’ll do it.”
“Mind, no. We’re getting your horn reattached.” Mantra said. The other two looked at each other, then back to Mantra. “Your horn is in Canterlot Tower. We can go get it and I can reattach it. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner.”
“Wait, you can reattach horns, Miss Mantra?” The doctor inquired incredulously.
“I was the one who detached it in the first place. The spells didn’t get too in depth into the specifics, but it got done what I thought was the right thing to do. I didn’t think something like this was going to happen. I’m so sorry, Mind.”
“I am not allowing you to reattach any horns, Miss Mantra.” The doctor said. “We’ll reattach it. If I were somepony else, I would have my license revoked if I allowed a licensed medical professional to operate on her own family.” Mind saw through Dr. Peculiarity’s smart choice of words straight to her heart.
“So, if I got you his horn, you could reattach it?”
“Absolutely. In fact, I insist that this is the best option.”
“It’s settled then.”
“I need consent from Mind.”
“I-” Mind said. “I don’t know...”
“Clearly you two need some time alone to think about it. Let me know when you come to a decision. Oh, and give Princess Celestia my regards, Miss Mantra.”
“It makes sense, sweetheart.” Mantra said to her daunted stallion sitting across the kitchen table from him. “You get your horn back and then you can treat the embolism yourself. And then you have all your abilities again and can become the greatest doctor anypony has ever seen.”
“Mommy, I can’t have it back.”
“Oh come on.” Mantra said defiantly. “You’re not going to control minds again. I got Twilight and Nightward working on it to make sure the mind control spell is neutralized.”
“You don’t understand; this wasn’t a mind control spell, it was telekinesis on certain cells in the brain to compel mind control.”
“Yes Mind, I know. Neurons. Snowy told me. Twilight and Nightward told me. Trust me; if anyone can sever your magic connection with ponies’ neurons, who better than the Princess Of Friendship and the top DPS of the Lunar Guard?
“But what if it’s only a temporary fix?”
“Oh, now you’re just assuming the worst-case scenario.” Mind got up and slammed his hooves on the table.
“I don’t want to hurt you!” He broke into deep breaths before his now silent caregiver, his voice started to break as his eyes gleamed. “Please, Mantra. I don’t want to become the Schism.”
“Alright, fine. I get it... Come with me. I want to show you something, sweetheart.”
Mantra then led her partner through the mansion, up the foyer stairs and into a room on the mansion’s south wing. Many heavily aged paintings adorned the walls of this room; paintings solely of landscapes. Each piece’s style matched with one another. She toured Mind through the many corridors of paintings.
"You asked me before what my connection with the Royal Pony Sisters is. I'm sorry, with all that's going on, I keep forgetting. My history with the Royal Sisters dates all the way back to my ancestor, Valiant Strokes.” Before for the corridors of art stood a statue of the stallion; one that resembled the same one that stood flamboyantly in front of the mansion.
"Valiant Strokes was a painter. He went all around Equestria painting every single landscape he could find. He came really close to killing himself trying to scale the mountains within the Frozen North, but he did it because he loved Equestria so much.” Mind gave a passing glance at the same painting of the field underneath the rainbow-smothered Cloudsdale he saw before in the hallway. Then to the dark clouds overshadowing the sky-climbing snow-capped peaks of the Frozen North.
"One day, he was commissioned to do a painting for Celestia and Luna. A changeling disguised as a guard made an attempt on their lives, which most certainly would've been successful had it not been for Valiant's interference.” Mind gazed upon the unfinished painting of the princesses sitting at their thrones; a streak of darkened red blood stained across Celestia’s chest. "His act of bravery saved the sisters, but left him with irreparable nerve damage at the base of his horn. Well, irreparable at the time, probably. But anyway, he lost stability on his magic grip, and he couldn't paint anymore.
"As thanks for his bravery, Celestia and Luna made him a count and gave him his own estate. Despite owning this manor, he still regularly took trips all around Equestria. One day, he met a lovely lady and settled down with her."
"Huh. So you're a countess?"
"Mhm. Countess Mantra, last daughter of the House Of Valiant Strokes. Anyway, he continued to travel the world to behold Equestria’s sights. Even when he had a wife and a family that meant the world to him, the world itself was incomparable, despite him no longer being able to paint.
“The moral of the story, Mind, is that your dreams are irreplaceable. Your dreams and your goals are your reasons for living, and not even those you love, those who are the world to you, can replace them.” Mind felt something precarious impending, which was reinforced by Mantra’s turquoise eyes. “Mind, I am not going to allow you to render me unworthy of your love. To render me the reason you can’t pursue your dreams. To render me helpless and impotent to any obstacle that we may pass.”
“You’re giving me an ultimatum,” Mind said calmly despite his heart beating fast, “and you mean it.”
“And I hate it. I hate ultimatums with a passion and feel sick having to be the one to make one, but your unbearable fucking stubbornness has forced my hoof: Mind Fission, you are getting your horn reattached or else I’m leaving you.”
“Mantra…” Mind waited for her to continue. “You’re right, I’m being stubborn. I’m being stupidly stubborn, and it’s not something new to me. I’m so sorry, Mantra. Snowy puts up with this shit from me all the time-”
“Mind, stop! You need to stop guilt-tripping and beating yourself up!”
“I’m sorry, Mantra-”
“‘Mommy!’” Mantra boomed with her eyes glowing scarlet. A scarlet that pierced his very soul. “I am ‘Mommy’. I tried to be your girlfriend; to let you have equal ground, like a normal relationship, but clearly you’re not mature enough to treat your girlfriend as an equal. I am tired of you not letting me in. Tired of you thinking you’re ‘saving’ me by keeping your feelings from me. Tired of you talking back to me over shit that you know you’re in the wrong about, but are convinced otherwise by your mental gymnastics.
“I don’t want to hear anymore of your psychological bullshit, and I don’t want you to put me in situations where I feel like I can’t do anything to help you anymore. In fact, you’re grounded!”
“Grounded!?”
“For two weeks! No more adulting! No more talking, acting, or even thinking like a grown-up. Now, you can be Mommy’s good little baby again and do as she says, or you can have your butt paddled for two hours straight with soap in your mouth.” Mind hesitated to answer, and ended up not answering at all in response to Mantra’s fierce eyes. “As soon as Nightward and Twilight get your horn ready, we’re reattaching it.”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Come look at this painting.” Mind’s clipping hooves took him to a large canvas depicting a malevolently radiant night sky. The cliffside where Canterlot Castle rested didn’t even take up half of the canvas, sitting at the bottom of the view. “Valiant Strokes painted this on the very night Luna refused to lower the moon. He wanted to preserve her beauty and make such a horrible turn of events into something magnificent because he loved the kingdom and the world for what it was, and didn’t desire to change a thing about it.”
“...It’s very pretty.”
“It’s ‘very pretty’?”
“It’s vewy pwetty…”
“Better, but that’s your only warning, little one.”
“What do you suggest I do now, Luna?”
“Well, it looks like your path is already decided. Arguing with Mantra is hard; that mare is quite stubborn.”
“More stubborn than I?”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“I do apologize if I’ve been difficult at all.”
“They wouldn’t be called ‘problems’ if they weren’t difficult to overcome.”
“Thank you for everything, Princess.”
Mind took another confident walk on the path and even paid no thought to the Schism appearing before him.
“Do you have an actual answer to my question yet?” The silhouette said. “I know it sounds like I’m being rhetorical, but I’m genuinely interested. How are you not evil?”
“Everypony has something about themselves that they wish they could change.”
“You can’t be convinced you can lead a normal life based on that ideology alone. How naïve.”
“Well, I’m getting my horn back whether I want it or not. And when I get rid of that embolism, you’ll be gone too.”
“And this is why Mantra shouldn’t do your thinking for you. You really think breaking down some coagulated blood is going to get rid of all the pain you caused to everypony? Not that you’ll care about pain. As soon as that horn goes back on your head, you will feel all that power again.”
“Shut up!”
“What does Mantra know about your powers? She couldn’t even do a hornectomy correctly. She’s a fool to convince you into thinking you won’t make her jump off a cliff as soon as you can. You’re a fool for thinking even for a second that losing your horn isn’t anything except poetic justice. Breaking down coagulated blood won’t redesign your feelings, feelings which you know are nothing but the truth!”
And Mind woke with the last word of his sentence echoing in his head, frustrated that he woke before he could say anything, but then groaned at the realization that he had nothing to retort with.
“I ask a question and you both share your honest answer. But the rules are that your answer must be honest and meaningful. I really want to hear answers from your hearts; there shouldn’t be any secrets kept between two ponies who change each other’s diapers. But there’s another rule that’s very important: Absolutely no teasing. As in no making quips at each other’s smelliness or making each other feel small. We’re just talking this out. You think you two can do that?”
The three sat in a triangle, Mind and Mantra facing across from one another while their cobalt-coated arbiter took an appropriate seat beside them both. They were both freshly diapered with their mouths free. Mantra’s mane was put into the cobalt bow again, and they were both sporting plain t-shirts; Mind’s was baby blue and Mantra’s was baby pink.
“Alright, you two are at an impasse. This is common in any relationship and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Now, I’ve taken the situation and both of your views into much consideration. The root issue at hoof is the fact that neither of you respected each other enough on an equal level. Would either of you disagree with this?” He glanced back and forth at each foal, seeing them both refusing to make eye contact with one another out of nervousness. “It’s important that I get a definite answer, you two. Did you feel like the other was not treating you equally?” They both nodded. “Alright. Mind, did you start feeling this way at all before the Schism?”
“No, I guess not.”
“Okay, expand on that. What changed about the Schism? And be perfectly honest, and Mantra, please don’t interrupt.”
“The Schism is a direct result of remorse from my mind control rampage. The Schism was created by my meddling with arcane magic and years worth of medical experience. This was a problem I felt had to be dealt with head-on. I understand that you prefer to leave your problems in the dust and move on by being a foal-at-heart, but you need to respect that I don’t feel the same way about some of my problems. I’m sorry I made you feel the way you do, I really didn’t mean to.” A moment of silence indicated he was finished, which was further indicated by Azure’s gesturing hoof.
“I thought I already did respect that; I set up the forgiveness meeting and even implored Celestia to publicly pardon you. I did it all head-on because it was your issue, and it’s what you would’ve done. I think I successfully showed you I had full respect for your ideology, but you fail to show me the same respect for mine.”
“I do respect yours, but this is still my issue.”
“Then why do you refuse to let me help you with this? We are a couple, afterall.”
“Because I don’t want to burden you… I mean, you’ve already done so much. I can’t possibly ask you to help me with an issue that goes so deep into my medical jargon.”
“Sounds to me like you don’t think I’m capable of helping you at all.” Her eyes then turned the deepest turquoise Mind has seen them, despite the unmatching flare in her tone. Azure felt the need to interrupt nag at him, but he quieted the nagging, as was his nature. “I don’t need you ‘protecting’ me from the Schism. I don’t need a nursing degree to tell when my baby is miserable, so stop pushing me away!”
“But Mantra, the nature of this-”
“No, Daddy! Stop pushing me away!” Her voice then broke slightly. “Stop pushing me away.” Her breathing grew heavy as a tear ran down her cheek. “We have a plan; we get your horn reattached, the Schism goes away, and then we baby each other happily ever after. No more nightmares. No more problems. Please don’t take that away from me. You’re all I have left.” A drop ran down her other cheek and then drops turned into streams, and she stared down Mind in blurred vision. Azure Burst took a deep breath, knowing he absolutely needed to intervene.
“Poly… Poly, I want you to-”
“Don’t you dare ever call me that again!" Mantra cried, sniping the cobalt unicorn with a vicious glare. "Polyamory died when her mom died! If she were alive, she’d have to live with the pain of losing everypony she cares about! Mantra is blessed with Mind Fission; the world’s most precious foal, and best daddy! She gets to live the joy of foalhood whether she’s a filly or a mommy, and has no significant problems in her life, because her life is everything she ever wanted!”
She tried as hard as she could to show strength, and attempted to mask her pain. Mind slowly crawled over to his sobbing little filly. His psychic connection with her feelings forced his hooves to reach toward her and pull her in. His chest was starting soak, smothered by the bawling filly.
“It’s okay,” the red-maned stallion said while stroking her back. “Daddy will never leave you. Just go ahead and let it all out.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” She cried a bit more into his chest fluff. “I couldn’t handle not knowing for sure if my mom really loved me. I thought if I just numbed myself with foal-at-heart life, I wouldn’t ever have to face that. But now I’m afraid of losing you too. I’m in fear for my life, and I don’t want to lose you!”
“Your mom would be proud of you.”
“I miss my mom, Daddy! I miss my mom. I miss my mom...”
“It’s okay to miss her. I know for a fact that she would be proud of you because she told you she was. I may not have ever known my biological parents, but a parent doesn’t tell their children they’re proud of them unless they really mean it. She might not have completely understood your little side, but she still believed that you would grow into an incredible courageous young mare, which you did; you basically saved Equestria for goodness sake. You did save Equestria, Polyamory.”
“Daddy, I love you so much. I love you.”
“I love you too. Does my little filly feel all better?”
“Let me go get something, Daddy.” Mantra, with permission from Mind, galloped up the foyer stairs.
Azure Burst lifted Mind toward him with magic and gave him a bone-crushing hug.
“Thank you for that, Mind.” He released him before Mind felt the need to call out for air.
“Hey, I had a lot of psych classes for a reason.”
“Psych class has nothing to do with a daddy’s love for his filly.” Stomping was made on the stairs back down. Azure widened his eyes at what Mantra brought back down with her; a white alicorn plush with sky blue eyes and a long heart-red mane and tail. “Sweetie, what are you doing with Courage Flame?” She then sat in front of Mind and held it in her hooves before him.
“Daddy, this is Courage Flame. He was born at Build-A-Pony when I was a filly. He was my favorite plushy to go on adventures with. He’s the prince of the faraway land of New Equestria. His cutie mark is a fire that represents his vicarious bravery in the face of impossible odds and the most dire of circumstances. He also has very powerful magic; he can even stop time, but his time stopping power is on a one second time limit.”
“Wait, what? But if time is stopped-”
“He can’t reach the time limit, exactly.” Mind gave her a dull stare. “Hey, I thought it was clever when I was a filly. Anyway, even a brave hero like Courage Flame was a foal at one point, and he had a mommy who took care of him and changed his smelly diapers. But most importantly, he was my consult: To this very day, he would advise me, and he shared his courage with me to do anything I can. And quite honestly, I’ve slept with him every single night except for the nights I slept with you.”
“He sounds amazing~”
“And you want to know what he’s telling me right now?”
“What?”
“Nothing. Because I’m giving him to you so he can watch me and be happy for me. Happy that I don’t need his guidance anymore.” Astonishment took Mind for a few seconds before he looked back up at her from the plush and smiled at the pink mare.
“This makes me happier than you could imagine. But hold on, it’s my turn.” Mind stood up and galloped toward his nursery. Mantra hugged her alicorn hero in her hooves once again then held him before her.
“Yes, I’m sure I want to do this. I’ve relied on you for so long. You’ve helped me get through so much. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you to my daddy sooner, but I wanted to make sure he was the one before I did. And I promise you that you will see how far your help has gotten me. And I promise you I will be happy.” She sniffled and hugged Courage again, the streams on her face strengthening and grazing against the corners of her smile. “I promise you, Courage Flame, that I’m going to be okay… I’m going to be okay.” Mind returned with Polymo sitting on his back, and put him in his hooves as he sat down in front of her. “No, I got him for you.”
“I can’t let my little filly go to bed at night without a plushy in her hooves. I want you to have Polymo to remind you that life is not about picking and choosing the colors we want to see; we have to embrace every color so that they can all come together into something truly beautiful.” The two foals, with their plushy offerings in hooves, merged together for a long hug. There was a chime that ringed through the mansion. Azure took it upon himself to answer it.
“Hey Poly,” Azure said upon his return, “how about we let the foals babysit the plushies and I take you to the park?” His magic was already at work on the pegasus that walked in with him, who now lay before him. The stallion’s magic slid a thick fresh diaper under Snowy’s naked rear; he lay silent. “Are you and Mind going to have fun while we’re gone?”
“Yes, Daddy.” With Snowy freshly diapered and Mind checked, the front door closed behind Azure and the filly donned once more in her pink summer mini-dress. “‘Poly’?”
“I made a quintessential breakthrough with Mantra.
“Oh?”
“I helped her come to terms with the loss of her mother.”
“Oh… Wow… I’m really proud of you, Mind.”
“I feel really proud of myself for that. I really feel like I just made her the happiest filly in the world.”
“I’m glad. What about you, though?” Mind took a heavy sigh before answering.
“I’m a little nervous about the reattachment. I really want this to work out, but… Snowy, did you ever think that I was evil?”
“What- No, of course not!”
“It was just a question, Snowy. You’re getting unnecessarily angry again.”
“No, I’m not! I don’t understand why you can’t just fucking get over your shit. You keep twisting everything into something new to blame yourself for and I’m fucking tired of it.”
“Snowy, I’m having the worst crisis I’ve ever had in my life. I thought you’d actually show me some sympathy for once.”
“I am sympathetic. But every time any of us try to help you, you just deflect to another ‘problem’. It’s not just me; Mantra and Azure Burst are fed up with it too. The difference is that they didn’t have the guts to tell you directly right away.”
”Do you have any idea what it’s like to have a voice within yourself constantly nagging at you? Plaguing your sleep and your life as a whole all the time?”
“Mind… Are you trying to say that I don’t know what that’s like?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”
“No! Stop! You can’t believe every single thing that that voice tells you. If I ever truly believed what mine told me, I wouldn’t be sitting here beside you today. In fact, you’re one of the reasons that I am still alive today.”
“Snowy…”
“You’re not evil. Promise me that you will get your horn back, and promise me that when you do, you will be the same Mind Fission that I always knew.”
“Snowy… I promise you that I’m going to put all of this behind me for good. But not only am I promising you that I’ll get my life back on track, but I truly want to; I’ll do anything to get it back to normal. I already cemented my place in Polyamory’s heart, and I’ll do anything to truly earn back your friendship.”
“Mind… Our friendship was never truly lost. You’re my friend and my brother, and you always will be.” The two’s upper hooves wrapped each other in a long hug while Mind promised that he was going to defeat the Schism the next time he saw it. The pegasus’ wings spread around him warmly.
Mantra lay in her crib with Mind that night. He was wrapped snug in his hooved sleeper and Mantra’s forelegs. Before he knew it, he already found himself falling fast asleep and swiftly was transported to the celestial path once more. Luna stood before him waiting, but said no words, only gave a nod and an assuring smile. The Schism appeared before the stallion, causing him to hesitate before proceeding.
“If it’s one thing everypony is right about, you are most certainly stubborn.” The silhouette boomed. “Constantly walking down this path confident as ever when you know I’m just going to break you easier than you broke the minds you got your evil grip on.”
“You know, for something that claims to be me, you’re pretty fucking stupid.”
“You know you’re not stupid.”
“I know I’m not stupid.”
“Ha. Let’s just get this over with, then. How are you notevil?”
“I have a goal of becoming a doctor; one who aims to help and heal ponies and creatures of all kinds. But more importantly, I have the best friends one could possibly have.”
“For some reason I thought I’d get a better answer than that. You can’t seriously expect to tell me you’re not evil because you have friends, can you?”
“So are you saying that evil ponies can have friendships?”
“Of course, but only with those just as vile as they are.”
“Snowy. Mantra. Azure. Vile?”
“Well… Well, they can- Well… Heh, who’s to say for certain?”
“See, you can’t admit it because you’re me. You’re my thoughts, my emotions, my entire being. You can twist all you can to make me out to be something that I’m not, but you can’t do that to my friends.” Mind walked intrepidly toward the white light at the end of the celestial path, his hooves clipping past the astonished Schism.
“And… And what kind of life will you go on to live? Having your entire life watched over by a mare? Her changing your shitty diapers your whole life? A grown stallion wetting and soiling diapers as a testament to his love for her! If that’s your idea of love, then you’re a sick and twisted freak of nature!” Mind only laughed back at the Schism and its vain attempt at making him feel guilty over his fetishes, something that he dealt with many years before. He stood inches before the white light.
“That lifestyle sounds like a paradise, and you aren’t any part of it. I won, Schism.”
“You won fuck-all!” With another step toward the light, the Schism conceded. “I won’t be gone, though. I will always be in your thoughts because I am you, and I will always be you.”
“And that’s perfectly fine with me.”
The Schism faded away in the now growing white light. The warm light carried Mind back into the world. He lay in Mantra’s hooves, waking with a smile.
“You’re the best mommy a foal could ask for.” He slowly closed his eyes again as Mantra’s gentle stroking carried him back to the realm of sleep.
“Mind, thank you so much for being in my life, and for giving more to it that I could have ever imagined it… As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal.”
The End
Author's Note
It took me close to three years to finish this, and I'm very proud of what this story turned out to be. I've never really posted a story anywhere else, and I really felt my writing improve and transcend beyond just typical fetish content (or worse, super-edgy stuff) that I wouldn't have been satisfied with.
I'm glad others enjoyed this~
Special thanks to SnowBlitz (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/75287/Thunderchaser23) and another friend who I shall leave anonymous for being the best friends a guy could ask for.
Special thanks to said anonymous friend for being my consult for medical accuracy and for her place in my life.
And to Nightward (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/32781/Nightward) and Mix-up (https://www.fimfiction.net/user/195663/Mix-up) for their friendship and support.

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                    Chapter 1: Marigold                    
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Chapter 1: Marigold
Smack~ Ninety-nine. Smack~ One hundred… Smack~ One hundred and one; once more for extra assurance. Mind Fission tried to let out one last scream, but it only came out as muffles through the pacifier gag strapped to the back of his head. His vision was blurred by his own tears; he could barely see himself straight, let alone make out the dark shadow doing this to him, saved for its sparkling pink eyes. Mind couldn’t shake the feeling that this shadow was getting the utmost joy out of all of this. A tantalizing voice cooed to him. "Is the little foal crying? Good. Maybe it'll teach him how to use this more responsibly." A hairbrush was set down next to him.
His stinging rear was let down gently on something he felt was thick and soft. He knew what it was, and he knew what was happening. His lower hooves were spread apart by the same mauve light that held them up and administered the red splotches on his plot. Helpless to put his legs together, Mind felt plenty of heavy shakes of foal powder coat his area. Its soft touch and intoxicating smell helped relieve the searing pain as the thick undergarment was pulled over his groin and the wings were taped securely and snuggly in place. The grip on his hooves loosened, but he was still helpless to put them together due to the thickness of the padding. Any further attempt to do so only made crinkles. The diaper he was sporting was white with moons and stars on it. It was clearly a night time diaper, but it wasn't even noon yet. Or was it? There was no way of knowing for sure with how dark the room was and no clock.
"Time for lunch now. You're going to be a good boy and finish it all, even down to the last drop in your bottle. And don't try screaming for help either, because no-one will hear you through these walls any better than they could hear that hairbrush smacking your plot." Mind then felt himself being lifted and sat into a nearby adult-sized high chair. The tray was then placed down over his lap, and the chair blocked him by the groin to keep him from slinking out underneath it. But then he was pushed to lean forward to allow straps to wrap around and keep his front hooves bound beside him, and another set of straps tied him to the back of the chair. Mind didn't even want to budge to test how much he could move; he already knew he was strapped in as tight as could be. He then looked down to see a white bib with purple letters reading "Messy Eater", and felt it being tied around the back of his neck. Before him, the shadow placed a bowl of orange mush and a baby's bottle, which was filled with a dark purple liquid. He felt the pacifier gag loosen, and the nipple was taken out of his mouth.
The shadow turned to face Mind with now sparkling marigold eyes. Utter distrust toward this shadow was somewhat quelled by other vibes the eyes indicated. Maybe lunch time wasn't going to be so bad if the diapering was anything to go by. Could this shadow have a mother's heart? No~ Mothers don't strap their babies to high chairs. But he wasn't a baby, just being treated like one. No~ He was an adult and needed to get out of whatever this situation was. But with no way out, he needed to play along, lest he suffer another hundred smacks from the back of a hairbrush.
Strangely giving Mind a sense of comfort, the shadow stood behind his chair; out of his line of sight. "Open up the tunnel~" The shadow called out to him playfully as a spoonful of the orange mush levitated toward him. Mind reflexively gave a sullen turn from the spoon, but then put his rational thought before it and reluctantly opened his mouth to receive the unappetizing goop. "Oh wow, we must be getting somewhere if you didn't fight me on this." The spoon lowered into Mind's mouth and tipped over to spill the mush onto his taste buds. Immediately, Mind felt the sweet taste of carrots, but it became bitter shortly afterwards, deplorably bitter. Mind was usually good at swallowing when trying new foods, but this was too much. He spit it out back into the bowl before him. "C'mon Mind, you can do it. Foals love mushy carrots." Another spoonful of the mush prepared itself and levitated toward him. Rational thought was now a distant echo in his head; Mind wanted to keep his mouth shut and back away in his chair. "Now you're going to fight? Do I need to remind you what happens to naughty foals? Open your mouth, little one." Mind groaned and opened his mouth reluctantly. The spoon lowered back into the bowl and the shadow peered before him with now scarlet eyes. "And don't you dare growl at your master like that again!" Master!? Mind was shaking in the high chair.
The shadow took itself out of the bound stallion’s sight again. The spoon filled itself with mush and levitated toward Mind again. What Mind got himself into, he felt was going to go on for way longer than he first thought.
Another spoonful of mushy carrots spilled onto his tongue, and Mind swallowed it as fast as he could. He gagged and almost spit it back up… Almost. It was the hardest thing he ever had to swallow, and there was a whole bowl to finish. "There we go~ Keep it up; it'll get easier," the shadow said to him. But it was a lie. Each spoonful was as excruciating as the last. Each spoonful he swallowed made him writhe and squirm, forcing the straps to fight with him to keep him in place. Soon, the bowl was empty, saved for the remains that couldn't be scooped up. He finally finished… But then the bowl was put in front of him again, completely refilled. "Babies need to eat a lot~"
"Oh come o-" The stallion was quickly silenced by the spoon entering his mouth and coating his tongue with some more of the detestable slop. He was then scolded by the shadow for talking and told to only use baby talk from then on. The very idea of baby talk was dreadful to Mind. He just stayed silent and got the second bowl over with. Mind felt the bib and the straps loosen all at once and he was slowly levitated out of the high chair.
Mind was put in a cradled position, the grip on him still strong, and the baby's bottle floated toward him. The nipple found itself into his mouth and he began to suckle away. He figured he might as well get this over with too, and that it wouldn't be as bad as the carrots. He didn't really have the strength to fight so much either after being filled up with so much mush. The dark purple liquid coursed through the teat and quickly found its way down Mind's throat. He thought it was going to be grape juice, but it didn't taste the same, nor nearly as good. But he sure was glad to have something to wash his taste buds free. Mind soon found that he couldn't stop drinking the juice; the shadow wouldn't take the bottle away until he was finished. He was able to stop the flow to take breathing breaks, but drops still poured in during these. The shadow snuck in a refill for Mind and made him down that too.
Mind felt almost numb from being stuffed like a turkey. The shadow cradled him upright and gave Mind a few gentle pats on the back until he belched loudly, to which his face was plastered hot pink from blush. Mind was lowered to the cold hard stone floor. It was quite clearly a dungeon of some sort he was in. He was chained by each of his hooves to the floor. Eight foot links connected from the cuffs he wore to rings embedded in the floor. Mind felt a collar wrap around his neck, and his tail was tied to it. The rope was tightened and tightened until his tail was held skyward.
"Now it's nap time. Or you could just rest if you're not sleepy, but I doubt you'll stay awake. A full belly tends to make a baby tired. I'll check up on you in a couple of hours." A couple of hours just chained to the floor and doing nothing. Not that Mind really had the strength to do anything but loaf around. "I almost forgot~" The pacifier gag, bathed in the same magenta aura, then flew into sight and wrapped itself around Mind's head. He struggled a bit, but the nipple forced its way into his mouth and secured itself in place. He gave into a couple of suckles, his full belly, and started to drift off to sleep. "Sweet dreams, little one." Mind felt the shadow’s presence disappear. But how? How could he possibly fall asleep in this state? He didn't have time much time to think about it before his thoughts settled into emptiness.
Mind didn't really dream. He only awoke some time later, whatever time it was. He stretched and stood, his diaper crinkling and the chains rattling. He tugged on them just for the sake of it. He wasn't going anywhere, but he tried tugging on them and wandering as far as he could to try and pass some time.
At first, he didn't really know why his tail was tied, but then he suddenly felt a certain sensation in his lower stomach, and it made sense to him; the dark liquid he was forced to drink earlier was prune juice, and he was fed it for the same reason his tail was tied. He fought and suppressed the urge. Spanking, diapering, and feeding were one thing, but he'll be damned if he gave in to this. He should've really expected something like this to happen once a diaper was involved. The urge came back again. With a few wiggles and a temporary relaxing of the pressure, the urge was suppressed again, but it wasn't easy with his tail already in position to do the damnable act. He didn’t even dare to try to break the chains to try and escape; he would dislocate his legs before the chains would break. The urge hit him once again, and he relaxed his muscles again. But this time, he passed the point of no return, and against his wishes, he found himself doing the unthinkable.
The preparations really had their work cut out for them. Mind felt the back of his diaper fill and fill and fill, and it spread against his rump and the padding. And he was helpless to stop it. He felt absolutely ashamed of himself, but in the moment, he took pleasure in the relief it brought him. Now he had to lay around in his soiled diaper and assume he was to wait for the shadow to come change him. At least the diaper was snuggly fit around him; it kept the smell from getting out if he avoided certain positions. It's not like he could fall back asleep either… Any minute now...
After what seemed like forever, the shadow finally made its way back in. "It didn't take you too long to fill up your diaper." Mind turned his head toward the dark silhouette with widened eyes and flaming red cheeks. "Yes, I watched you the whole time. It was cute watching you fight it, but you and I both know that babies do what they have to do. You were actually kind of precious sleeping, and you lay around in your own mess without much quarrel." Mind only stared down at the floor mortified. "And you're actually behaving pretty well. Maybe this will go easier than I thought. But don't get your hopes up; you still need this dungeon for a while." Mind’s ears perked up at the last sentence. Did that mean he was eventually going to be let go?
The chain cuffs around his hooves opened and his collar came off. He felt his body lifted up and cradled. But then he found himself being sat back into the adult-sized high chair from earlier completely unexpectedly, and he was secured and bibbed in the same way. Mind could do nothing but blush and look down at himself. When he was loafing around in the messy diaper, he was avoiding certain positions to keep the storm inside calm, but now he was feeling it all squish around, squelching the (now cold) mess against his rump all over.
"I still have to make your dinner. I'll give you your bottle in the meantime, but no talking… Except for baby talk, of course." Mind saw the pacifier gag fly from his mouth and the baby bottle refilled with prune juice sat before him. "But you should probably spend this time getting used to your bah-bah and diapee." Mind just kept blushing, feeling ridiculous about it, but knowing deep down he'll have to play along. He didn't bother to ask his "Master" about his "diapee"; he knew he was going to have to sit in his mess for a while. He felt a tickle hit his bladder, and soon felt his diaper warming up appropriately. He might as well get used to that too. He looked down at the bib tied yet again around his neck. "Messy eater" it read. And he only gazed at it with pink plastered on his face.
Mind just sat in his high chair, waiting patiently for the shadow to return, sipping the prune juice from his bottle. After almost half an hour (again, whatever time it really was), he saw a plate set before him this time with green mush on it, some green peas, and of course, mushy carrots on the side. He had to get it over with, so he opened his mouth upon command to do so. The green mush was the first to feed him; he recognized the initial taste of spinach, then it immediately turned into the bitter taste of baby food the carrots shared. He hated spinach, and the baby food formula in it didn't help at all. The carrots weren't any better either, but he didn't mind peas at all. He actually liked peas, but he had to act like he hated them even more; hopefully he could trick the shadow into giving him peas more often.
"You know Mind, you've been a really good foal. I think you deserve some dessert." As enticing as dessert sounded, Mind’s belly ached at the very thought of it. He couldn’t eat another bite. He was then shown what the dessert was; not cake nor ice cream, but mushy applesauce. Before he could protest, the shadow prepared a spoonful of the mush and stuck it in Mind's mouth. Surprisingly, it actually tasted good, and he finished the little cup without any complaints.
Mind was lifted out of the high chair and burped yet again. He gave into the numb filling feeling in his belly and felt his body drape itself into the magikinetic grip cradling him. "Look at this thing," the shadow proclaimed, "I planned to make you sleep messy on the first night, but since your diapee is soooooo full," the shadow paused in the middle of its sentence specifically to make Mind embrace the red-hot flushing from his face. "And since you've actually been pretty good today."
The stallion soon lay on the cold hard floor, his lower hooves were thrown into the air and spread apart, and the tapes on his diaper were peeled off. The smell escaped as his garment was relieved from him. As humiliating as this whole experience was, Mind actually took a lot of solace in having his diaper changed, and even enjoyed having his area cleaned up and wiped. In fact, the diaper change felt really nice once he looked past the situation itself. The magical grasp from the shadow was actually very tender yet firm enough to take control of the chaos below. With the smell of foal powder filling the air and the crinkling of a fresh new diaper taped on him, he was all clean. In fact, his butt had never felt any cleaner. "There, now the stinkybutt is all set to fill his cuddle pants once more."
Mind was settled into the chains once again, with no protest or struggle from him. His stomach was so full he didn't even want to move. "That's right, go ahead and relax; you had a pretty good day. If there's anything else you need to 'relax', don't hesitate to let it all out into your diapee like the wittle baby you are." The pacifier gag found its way into Mind's mouth once again and strapped around his head. "Of course, you might be filling it up by complete accident. After all, the best thing about foal food is that it's filled with nutrients that regulate your bodily functions. As you count sheep, remember that you are only a helpless little foal."
Mind gave into gently suckling on the pacifier. He really didn't want to move he was so full, but he wasn't sleepy. Mind loafed around for about an hour before actually giving in to sleep. Sleeping was the only thing to pass the time, so he would wake up in the middle of the night slightly refreshed, only to have to toss and turn until he fell asleep again.
Author's Note
Through a few close friendships, well-due guidance, and a strong interest in the way magic works, I present a story that I feel is worthy of sharing.
This is a story that I've been working on since March 2017. This story was at first just for my own fun, but then it turned out to be something that I'm actually quite proud of, especially as it progresses, and I'm very excited to share it.