How Time Fliesby The SeerChaptersThere's A Lack of Colour HereForever And EverHow Time FliesThere's A Lack of Colour HereCelestia didn't know if there was such a thing as a good death, but all said and done, Rarity's was probably as close as you could get. Spike was there, thankfully he was still small enough to fit in a normal sized room, and she was comfortably nestled in Celestia's arms. She had no pain, she wasn't ill or wasting, it was just her time. The princess had soothed her and stroked her silver mane, it didn't matter that the purple had long gone because she was still beautiful, she'd always been beautiful. Spike had her hoof in his hands. For such wicked looking claws, the dragon could be so gentle when he needed to be. How many of us get to go out simply falling asleep in the arms of the one they love most in the world? And yet. It wasn't good enough. She was the last of her generation of elements. Magic, laughter, loyalty, honesty and kindness all found new bearers while generosity outlived them all. Celestia had been there for each one. She'd still seen the excited unicorn filly in the eyes of the dying Twilight Sparkle, she didn't know that there was a pain worse than that until now. To Celestia, Rarity could have been any one of the elements, she could have borne them all. Now she didn't have a single one. Some filly or colt would take up the mantle and be celebrated as a hero. Luna could hold the court that day, Celestia never wanted to see anyone else wear that necklace for the rest of eternity. They should have all been with her, but they weren't. The entire kingdom should have stopped and mourned, but it didn't. She should still be with Celestia now, laughing and joking and as full of life as she was so many decades ago. But she wasn't. The day it happened was the first night Luna had raised the sun, and the day after had been the second. It was coming up on a week now and she still hadn't touched it. When the light truly leaves your life, nothing really compares anymore. Celestia had found it was the first time she could stare into the star and it not be blinding. Rarity had been given a state funeral, as was fitting considering all she'd done. If it weren't for the fact that she was saying goodbye, Celestia could have destroyed the entire procession. A bunch of snivelling sycophantic aristocrats who'd had thought the relationship 'inappropriate' from the start. She'd have put any or all of them in cold dirt if it would make Rarity breathe again. But it wouldn't, so she didn't. Instead, she stood and suffered a litany of half-hearted, mumbled consolations from prince and princess or duke and dame whoever from wherever. She wondered if they were glad. Now the princess could stop her 'frivolities' and get back to matters of state. If any of them did, they were smart enough not to say it. She'd looked like an angel, hooves crossed over her chest with a blue rose between them, wearing a delicate white gown and tasteful jewellery. The princess had hated that gown, it wasn't designed by her and it was not something Rarity would have ever worn in life. It was a lie, just like the stupid jewels and ugly fake flower. The only true thing throughout that ceremony was the smile on Rarity's lips. She'd died nuzzling the princess while wearing it. It was the smile she reserved for Celestia, and another part of the princess that was buried with her. The sound of a minor scuffle outside her chamber doors shook Celestia from her thoughts, no doubt Spike having to barge his way past the guards again. She had told them no visitors under any circumstances and each day they hadn't dared to stop an eight foot dragon from getting past them, she wondered if they had even tried. "Celestia?" he called after knocking. There was no edge to his voice, just concern. He was so sweet, he always had been, "I'm going to stand outside for a few minutes. If you want to talk, just let me know." She thought back, it was a week now. Maybe today was the day. Groggily, she rose from her bed. The air in the room was stale, her coat matted with sweat. She walked to the door on unsteady hooves, and marvelled for a moment about what a week of not using them did. It was all so very fragile. She grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, just a crack. Spike was already looking at her when her eyes adjusted to the light. "Thank you for checking on me Spike, it's appreciated." "I don't want thanking," he said, pain bright and fresh in his eyes, "I want to know if you're okay." The concern in his voice touched her, and she was already so very delicate. She wanted to tell him that she was doing okay considering the circumstances and that he didn't need to worry. However the words stuck in her throat, lodged beneath the sob she was suppressing. Tears welled in her eyes and she realised she wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet. "I... I'll talk to you soon Spike," she managed to choke out before closing the door and retreating back to bed. Despite spending the entire week lay there, she didn't remember the last time she'd slept. The exhaustion caught up to her and Celestia finally felt herself drifting off. She didn't want to have any dreams, she could share that with Rarity at least. Luna came that night, just as Celestia knew she would. The second she'd heard that Spike had actually seen the sun princess she'd be the very next knock at the door. If guards can't stop big scary dragons, they have no chance at stopping big scary princesses. Thankfully Celestia didn't wake for that. When she finally stirred, Luna had been holding her for hours. Celestia's eyes fluttered open and the concerned face of her sister came into focus. They didn't speak for a while, Luna stroked her hair just like Rarity used to do. "Did you cry for her?" Celestia whispered, "I cried for you both," Luna replied sadly, and the white alicorn found herself wracked with sobs even as she willed against it. She clung on to Luna, desperate for something tangible. Even after thousands of years she learned knew things all the time, and today's lesson was the true form of how someone could be a rock in a storm. "Its not fair," she spoke into Luna's chest. "I know," came the reply, her sister's voice tender and caring. "...I wish I could go with her." Maybe one day, a long time ago, Luna would have slapped Celestia for even saying such a thing. 'What a terrible thing to say, you must live on, she'd want you to live on' she'd have bellowed and it would have all been terribly passionate. The only difference between that Luna and this one was so many thousands of years. "I know." Celestia fell asleep for the second time in her sisters hooves, and thank god she still didn't dream. The second time Luna and Spike visited was the first time Celestia raised the sun again. She had cracked her door before dawn to tell whichever guard had the watch to let Luna know. She didn't actually go out on her balcony, but then she'd never actually needed to do that. A show for the populace was the last thing she was concerned with at the moment. Later that morning her PA, a bookish unicorn named Dip Quill, called through her door that the city was rejoicing to see her golden magic move the star again. It was very clear the mare was trying to sound less worried than she was. Celestia ignored her. She rose and, for the first time in recent memory, telekinetically drew open her curtains. The room wasn't quite as bad as she'd imagined. Thankfully, considering she'd barely left her bed, the only actual mess were the creased and chaotic sheets she was sat on. Her eyes came to fall on a framed picture of her and Rarity from many years ago. They were in a photo booth, Celestia was pulling some goofy cross-eyed face and the unicorn was looking at her. Her amused expression was deep and rich with affection, and more than that contentment. She remembered when the stares when they had left the stall to collect the pictures, each giggling like schoolfillies. It stung a lot more than she had been ready for. She forced herself to keep looking at it, until finally the figures were too blurred through her tears. That was how she spent the day, wandering her room and weeping over everything that reminded her of the seamstress. She felt like a trapped ghost, and shouted away every guard that tried to come and check on her. It wasn't until quite later that Spike and Luna's voices began to approach. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but gathered from their curt tones that they were currently going through the farce of getting past the guards. "Sister," like last time, the voice wasn't exasperated or angry, just gentle and kind, "It's me and Spike... can we enter?" For the first time since, Celestia found a part of her did actually want them to come in. She opened the windows to freshen the room because grieving or no, a princess kept her courtesy. She turned back to her bed and pulled the door open with a golden flare. As she settled back down, the princess heard them both come in and close the doors. Once she was back on her new throne, she saw them properly. They could clearly tell she had been crying, and she wasn't prepared to go through the indignity of trying to convince them otherwise. It was Spike who came over first, he wordlessly pulled her into a hug and Celestia had to admit it actually felt nice to have some physical contact again. When he pulled away, he regarded her with a tender smile and wiped a tear off her cheek gently. "I'm always here if you need me," he said before turning to leave. Before going through the door he shot Luna a sympathetic look, and Celestia felt even worse. He was sure to be grieving too, and she had not once gone to him. Maybe it made her selfish, but she still knew it wouldn't make her go to him anytime soon. Luna, on the other hoof, had always loved Rarity but mainly for how happy she made Celestia. Maybe that was why Spike had left, the princess didn't have to feel any obligation to her sister. "It was a beautiful sunrise sister," Luna offered, ignoring the unimpressed look she got in return, "I know, I know. They're all the same, right? But truly, this one was beautiful. Sometimes I get so caught up in wishing our subjects loved my moon more, that I forget to watch the sun rising." Luna levitated a pillow and set it in place next to Celestia, before hopping onto the bed and settling down with her. She turned her attention to the picture of her sister with Rarity, still clutched tightly in shimmering golden magic. Wordlessly, Celestia relinquished her hold on the object and found gold immediately replaced by indigo. Luna looked at the photo affectionately and draped a wing over Celestia's back. If her sister was grateful for the contact, she didn't show it. Celestia tore her eyes away from the treasured photograph and instead looked at Luna, she seemed to be struggling with something. Her brow was furrowed and she swapped her magic hold for her hooves. Her grip was tight as she stared deeper, it almost looked like she was trying to pull something out of it. Celestia knew the feeling well. Luna's mouth fell open and closed several times, feeling the way around unspoken words. Say it Luna, please just say it. "Sister I... I just..." for a very brief moment, she looked like she was going to cry, "I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what." The first time Celestia managed to smile since Rarity's passing was when Luna turned to her, misty-eyed and desperate. It was weak and fleeting, but it was genuine. That'd have to do for now, she thought. The first time Celestia managed to comfort someone else since Rarity's passing was when she pulled the trembling younger alicorn into her arms and allowed her to silently weep into her chest. Author's Note So this is a sequel to Time, If you've not read it, I'd encourage you to do before reading this though all you really need to know is that it was a Celestia x Rarity story. Forever And EverThe third time Luna visited her sister was one week after Celestia had taken back her sun. It had been bad, very very bad. But then it started to get better. Not much better, but a little. Meals came back slightly touched, Spike was able to visit more and more. Luna would have left it, but that morning she had seen Dip Quill leaving her sister's chambers. Someone other than her and Spike having been allowed direct contact with the princess had probably been the biggest leap forward thus far. When she had seen Spike enter shortly after, Luna had headed to the door. She breezed past the guards who had largely become a formality at this point and lingered there, unsure about whether to head in or not. It was when she'd heard her sister laugh, a delicate musical sound that reminded her of wind-chimes, that she first knew someone could come back from the dead. Her hoof hovered at the doorknob but she immediately dropped it when she heard that laugh again. This could wait until later tonight. Luna walked back down the hall quickly, before exiting through a balcony. Her wings beat as she flew toward her own tower. It would not do for the guards to see their princess cry. "Come in Luna," her heart worked overtime to hear Celestia call her in, almost as if nothing was wrong. "How did you know it was me?" she asked as she entered. "Dip Quill apologies every time she knocks, poor thing, and Spike scarcely bothers knocking at all now." "I saw him visit today, the two of you sounded..." the unsaid word lingered for a moment. Finishing the sentence with 'happy' or 'normal' would have been inappropriate at best, insulting at worst. Celestia didn't seem offended, however, and carried on clearly understanding what Luna was so desperate to imply. "We talked a lot, he has so many stories from before we..." to her credit, Celestia didn't lose her composure as her eyes misted and voice cracked slightly, "Do you know, all her friends asked for eight revisions on those Grand Galloping Gala dresses?" She smiled despite the tears on her cheeks, normal was definitely the wrong word and they both knew it. "You two sounded better," Luna offered. Both her sister's smile and tears grew. She wanted to go over there and comfort her, but Luna was scared about whether she could remain strong enough. She had been weak on her last visit and guilt had remained since. The thought of the conversation she knew she had to have made her feel sick, but could anything be worse than this? Both stood, one crying, the other rooted to the ground. "I'm sorry Celestia," she began, not giving herself time to consider whether this was right or not, "Seeing you the way I did scared me more than I could believe. For just a minute, it... felt good to feel like you were just my big sister and I had a bad day and was crying about that." Luna winced at Celestia's expression, the clear concern and desire to comfort wounding the younger alicorn. She wasn't here to force her own issues onto Celestia, not again. "But that was selfish of me, and I'm sorry. It doesn't do for me to be weeping in your arms like a foal while you're going through this." "I've not had a single dream since... Not a single one, I wonder how difficult it is to maintain that in an alicorn of all creatures," even in this state, there was no fooling her older sister. Luna felt guilty at the small note of pride that bubbled up upon having her efforts recognised. "I know this is hard on you too Lulu, but I know you're trying. You don't need to feel guilty about wanting some comforting." "I'm not as good as Spike at this sort of thing," she immediately spoke, hoping for all the world her sister wouldn't be able to hear the lump in her throat, "So instead, I thought about whether it could be approached like finding tangible solution to a problem," "Rarity is gone Lulu, I don't know if that's a problem you can solve," the moon princess suppressed a small gasp at hearing Celestia verbally acknowledge the situation for the first time. Still, her expression didn't match her words, she looked expectant, as if the sheer awfulness of reality was enough to make her believe the absurd alternative that Luna could have found the solution to her lover's death. As it happened, Luna had maybe done just that. "What I am about to suggest... is not ethical. Many would call it an unforgivable abuse of power," "So why are you suggesting it?" There it was again, the look in Celestia's eyes. It did what she couldn't, and screamed at Luna to carry on and finish the damn idea. "Because you're my sister, and ethics can hang if I can stop you feeling this way." Celestia seemed to consider Luna's words for a minute. She made her way to the bed and looked at her picture again. Seeing Rarity's expression seemed to make her mind up, just as seeing Celestia's had made Luna's. She sat and patted a space next to her. It looked like they'd hang ethics together. "Do you remember when Twilight Sparkle went back in time?" The two of them had made themselves more comfortable. "Yes of course, she terrified herself." Celestia recalled with a faint smile. "The spell she found was for travelling time, but it wasn't the only research Starswirl did into the matter. It would seem towards the end of his life, he found a way to displace it." Her sister gave Luna a questioning look, prompting her to continue, "Displacing would allow the user to shunt the entire timeline using themselves as an anchor. It eliminates you from time entirely, then reinstates you at a different point. In practise, it avoids the issue with you meeting your past self because there wouldn't be a past self, there would only be the present you in the new present you make." Comprehension finally dawned on Celestia's face. "I wonder how it is that I never heard of this?" "Come now sister," Luna began, allowing herself to tentatively smirk, testing the waters between them, "We both know that spending hours looking through dusty old archives was never exactly your favourite activity." "Correct, but we knew someone who's favourite activity was just that, how was it that Twilight never knew of this spell?" "Oh she did, I recall she had a nightmare once about using it and accidentally going back too far and never getting to meet her friends. Once I had calmed her down I let her give me a lecture about how Starswirl had arrived at it by modifying his original. Suffice to say I didn't get to check anymore dreams that night" "That certainly does sound like her," Celestia laughed, and Luna's heart swelled again. She chanced a hope that the wound was less raw than a week ago, "Do you know if she ever used it?" "There's every chance she could have used it and we would never know. But we know Twilight Sparkle wasn't a pony that sought any kind of great power, she just loved the elegance of the theory put into practise, that's why I never minded that she knew all of these dangerous spells. However, what's interesting is given how much more intense it is than just simply placing yourself somewhere else on the timeline temporarily, Twilight would've probably only been able to manage a few days at most... but you are not Twilight." If she was shocked, Celestia didn't show it. It would be difficult for someone to be unable to predict the end point of this conversation, and Luna wasn't so deluded to think someone as perceptive as her sister didn't know what she was about to propose. "How far back could I go?" she asked, sounding much like she did when she was teaching. "I... well, is this you want?" Luna tentatively replied, feeling like they had skipped a crucial part of the conversation. "Luna, when I sent you to the moon it nearly destroyed me, but I always knew you'd be back. But Rarity won't be back, no-one is ever going to see her again." The sun princess' shoulders slumped and she trembled, "I can't do this, I wasn't ready. No matter how ready how I tried to be, it didn't do anything." Luna's wing found Celestia's back again, but this time she didn't allow herself the chance to break down. She remembered how destroyed she had been with each element's passing. When Twilight died, she didn't ever think Celestia would recover, but she did. She would have always have faith that her sister could come back from anything. So why was she even suggesting this? The truth was, she knew the answer and it scared her. Not once in her entire life had she seen her sister like those last two visits, not once. "I know it might seem like it's getting better Lulu but... just being able to talk to ponies again takes so much work and I'm so tired. I still feel as bad as I did the second it happened, I'm just getting better at hiding it. I'm sorry to say it. Sorry to put it one anyone else, especially you, but I meant what I said to you, and I still do," Celestia turned to face Luna, who tried to conceal her heartbreak, "If I could, I'd go with her." How easily doubts can disappear in the face of an admission like that. Luna took her sister's hooves in her own, she knew what burying everything down did to you. She wouldn't let it happen to Celestia, the world would burn before she did. "I think you could manage a few years." How Time FliesThe second time in history that the moon failed to lower on time was on the four week anniversary of the Element of Generosity's death. If the populace were in shock, neither of their princesses knew. If the castle staff ran around in panic, desperately trying to find Celestia or Luna to explain this, they didn't find them. Neither sister was in Canterlot right now, they were somewhere far older. Celestia watched as her sister entered the chamber behind her, the memories of the last time they had both been here couldn't have been easy to grapple with. The younger alicorn had still been Nightmare Moon, and it was here that she had been freed. Celestia would have gone to her, but as quickly as the trepidation appeared on Luna's face, it was replaced by an attempt at stoicism. It was brave, and utterly unconvincing. "Here we are," Celestia said. "Here we are," Luna agreed. "Why here?" "I knew it was the one place that we wouldn't be disturbed," the moon princess began, attempting to hide her trepidation by pretending to inspect the various nooks and crannies of their old home's great hall. Celestia wanted to ask why it even mattered if this timeline was going to dissolve anyway, but she held her tongue. "Lulu, Starswirl was one of the most cautious unicorns I've ever met. The spell is riddled with fail-safes, we're going to be fine." "Do you still want to do this?" Luna changed the subject and looked at her for the first time since they had entered. Celestia didn't immediately answer her sister's question, instead she looked within and felt the chasm insider her hadn't gotten the least bit shallower. The figurative porcelain around her face was only tightening though. All she wanted to do was cry, and she hadn't cried once today. What did that make her? She always tried to be honest with her sister, and the honest truth was thus. All things considered, if the option was there, she'd follow Rarity to the grave without a second's hesitation "I do," "Then so do I," Luna replied. "As long as you're making physical contact with me, the spell will bring us both back. However, I..." Celestia faltered for a second, prompting a concerned look from her, "I need you to give me some of your magic." The request remained in the tense, stale air. Luna regarded her sister cautiously, clearly wondering how best to voice her concerns. "Celly, I... I don't know if-" "I can't do this if it's just a few years Luna!" Celestia cut off the younger alicorn, "It's not enough! I need time I... I just I... I can't do it again. Not that soon. Please sister... I just can't do it again." They didn't speak for a moment as Celestia's words sank in. She sat on her haunches despondently until Luna made her way over and sat with her. "I suppose, if we're doing this, we might as well do it properly." Celestia gave her sister a teary smile, more grateful than she could describe. They rose and Luna placed her horn on her sister's chest. At once, Celestia felt her magic flow into her. It was so different to her own, an infinitely black oblivion against the sun princess' bright aether. And more than that, she felt Luna's love for her. It permeated the space they now shared, an overwhelming wave of affection. Celestia smiled down at Luna, suppressing a sob because it just wasn't enough. Her horn was illuminated blinding gold as she began to perform the spell she had learned. An intangible multicoloured aura began to surround them. It made Celestia feel sick to look at, she couldn't make sense of it. It was like something always at the corner of her eye, something not meant to be seen. It intensified as Luna finished giving her big sister her magic. She looked up at Celestia, clearly weakened but doing her best to be brave. It was a massive thing, to actually pull time back around yourself. Even if Luna thought she was about to get her wish and see her sister better, Celestia could understand her trepidation. But it had seemed to melt away when their eyes met, knowing they'd always be safe together. Celestia felt guilty about not feeling guiltier. But as she had said, it wasn't enough. Rarity's absence still split her apart. Celestia had wished and wished for longer than she could remember that Luna alone could be enough. Luna kept her hoof on her big sister's cheek, making sure they stayed in contact. She never saw it coming. Charging her horn again, Celestia quickly bowed her head and fired a telekinetic blast directly at Luna's chest. In her normal state, such a thing would've scarcely moved her. With her magic coursing through Celestia and no time to rest and regenerate it, she was thrown against the walls of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Celestia would never seriously hurt her little sister, but she couldn't have Luna just getting back up and running back over. As such, she smacked against the stone with a stomach churning whack and fell to the ground. The impossible aura strengthened, and through it Celestia could make out her sister shakily getting back to her hooves, pain clearly wracking her every movement. When she opened her eyes, they were confused for a second until she found Celestia's gaze again. For the first time since Rarity's death, Celestia thought Luna might have finally understood. If either wanted to say anything, they weren't quick enough to do so before she was wrenched away from time completely. When that awful aura finally disappeared, the sun was up and she was alone in the castle of the two sisters. Celestia collapsed suddenly, the exertion surprising even her, even now. And yet it didn't matter if it was going to kill her, she had somewhere else to be. Beating her wings, the princess reached higher and higher. She ascended through the hole which was once a ceiling and climbed until the ruin looked like a matchbox beneath her. It was hard, so very hard, but she forced herself onward towards the tiny speck of a village she could see towards the North. She hadn't been lying, all those times she wept. Every single one had been real, and it scared her because even now, it had felt just as bad each time. The first time she had gone back, Luna had come with her and they'd managed two years. Two years in which every moment not spent with Rarity was a hellish maelstrom of misery. She knew what was coming, and two years is so very short. When she'd said she meant to do it again, she wasn't surprised by how firmly and categorically Luna had forbade it. Celestia didn't even pretend to take the words on board. When Luna found her that night, surrounded in that sickening aura, the princess didn't know what was worse. The sheer look of disappointment and betrayal on Luna's face, or how quickly Celestia had stopped caring after seeing Rarity again. She'd managed five years. That time, she'd sworn that it was the last. Five years should be enough, and in total she'd gotten an extra seven. More than anyone across time and history would ever get, and it wasn't even close to being enough. It had gone like this for so long, was this the eighth or ninth time now? Sometimes Luna would be the one to propose it to her, sometimes she'd do it herself. It wasn't until the last time, when the time-stream had been different and Rarity had gotten an extra year, but Twilight somehow got even longer. It was her faithful student herself that had proposed the idea to the princess, and she had willingly offered as much of her magic as she could give. Celestia had so often wondered why she a pony who held the sanctity of magic so close to her had been willing to do something so utterly reckless. The best idea she could come up with was that Twilight had been a lot stronger that time, but she wasn't long for the world herself. Of all the ways to end your life, seeing your mentor and second mother killing herself with grief was no way to do it. She had managed thirty years, just in time to see Rarity close out her sixth decade on this world. Twilight had been so advanced, and combining two magic sources allowed for power much greater than the sum of its parts. But as Luna had said herself, natural alicorns were a different matter all together. She had dared to hope when she had felt all her sister had to give flowing through her veins. It was when Ponyville became clearer that Celestia began to cry. The little village was just that, a quaint, charming little village. With six elements of harmony living there, tourism had started to pick up exponentially. Through regeneration and development, Ponyville had become a bustling sprawl. For now though, it looked like Celestia had remembered it sixty years ago. Sixty five if she was going to be exact, but who was counting? She wiped the tears from her eyes and composed herself. Once she touched down, she ignored the various greetings from smiling ponies. When she had started visiting Rarity, the novelty of her appearance had quickly ebbed for the villagers so there was no more sudden rushes to bow for her. But she was still the princess, and they still excitedly received her each time. After decades of not seeing the village like this, she still knew the way perfectly. Before long she found herself stood again in front of Carousel Boutique. Well, she found herself in front of a Carousel Boutique. It didn't have all the various extensions that Celestia had gotten used to. It was elegant in its relative simplicity. An tasteful, two story building which for all the world looked like a merry-go-round. Celestia knew then that this was her favourite Carousel Boutique. She hoped it would never ever change. Even after all this time, she couldn't accept it was all real until she had her hooves around Rarity again. She trotted up and knocked on the door, promising herself that this would be the time she kept her composure. Still, she had promised Luna they would go back together, and every time she made the journey she promised herself it would be her last. Maybe Celestia just wasn't good at keeping promises. As soon as the unicorn opened the door, looking more youthful than Celestia had seen her in nearly two hundred years, she broke down immediately. "Darling, whatever is wrong?" she asked, the concern in her indescribably beautiful voice making Celestia cry even more. Without waiting, she scooped the unicorn up in her hooves and held her, terrified to let go. Rarity usually chastised the princess for holding her like this. With her size, she could easily cradle her like a child. But they both knew Rarity secretly loved it. It wouldn't have mattered even if Rarity had started indignantly shouting, Celestia just needed to be in contact with as much of her as possible. She didn't know when the seamstress had managed to break free and get her inside the boutique, neither could she tell when Rarity had taken off her regalia and got her into a lavender-scented bubble bath. Though the intensity was down and she was finally aware of her surroundings again, she continued to sob. Rarity massaged shampoo through her mane and gently sang to her, it had always been Celestia's favourite sound in the world. When they were done, she carried on singing while gently drying off the princess with towel's she'd magically heated up. It was like waking up after being dead. It was waking up after being dead. "So, did the summit with the Griffons really go that badly?" Rarity asked. Apparently she was supposed to be having a summit with the Griffons. Celestia couldn't think of something she cared less about at this moment. She didn't answer the question and apparently, for Rarity, that was enough. "Well that fussy old king is a tough one for sure. I know it must have been awful so you don't have to talk about it." She finished her drying and looked at the princess, seeing through all this with startling ease. "But darling... when you want to talk about the summit, I'll be here for you." She was so bright, and she didn't even know it half the time. She might have been the smartest mare in all the world. "Can... can I just hold you for a while?" Celestia's voice was raspy, and she realised it was the first thing she had said to her lover since she died. Rarity gave her a sympathetic look, gently stroking her cheek with one of those soft, heated towels. Shortly, they were both tucked into Rarity's bed. The clock read half nine, apparently Celestia had been indisposed for longer than she realised. She looked around, feeling the chasm mercifully start to fill. She had made it, she was here again. The ceiling of the room was a clean, immaculate, almost unnaturally perfect white. The bed was a bed for a normal sized unicorn, and usually Celestia's legs would spill ungracefully out of the covers. Tonight they were tucked up, wrapped around Rarity with her forelegs. She was so soft, every time she let out a little sigh of contentment was another reminder to Celestia what she'd taken when she'd gone. Neither were asleep, Rarity was a night owl and as such would probably be up long after Celestia had drifted off. Sometimes she woke in the night to hear a gentle humming harmonised with the soft whirr of the sewing machine. It was like music. She wondered if she'd sleep at all tonight though. She still remembered the smack of her sister colliding with the wall of their childhood home, as well as the teary look she shot Celestia when she'd realised what was happening. She knew she wouldn't deserve the way Luna would treat her like nothing was wrong the next time she saw her. Celestia almost wished all this didn't utterly pale in comparison with every breath Rarity took. She'd always said that there was no way she'd carry on just masking the pain. She'd not saddle Luna and realm with another Nightmare Moon. She'd do the impossible and end it before that. But sometimes, when she was all alone, she wondered if what she was becoming was any better. And she wondered why she barely cared at all. The answer was obvious, of course, she had all available limbs wrapped around the answer, but she couldn't accept it. Because even that felt like spreading some of the blame onto this beautiful, good-hearted unicorn who didn't even know how to do wrong. Celestia would end it before she ever did that, too. "No-one was expecting you back until tomorrow darling," Rarity said, her eyes closed in contentment, before adding with a musical giggle, "You certainly came a long way to see me." Even though there was no possible way, Celestia sometimes wondered whether Rarity knew. She was so perceptive and just so utterly and totally bright, maybe she could see more than even Celestia could. "It was worth it," she replied, letting the delighted little laugh she got in response fill her mind totally. The seamstress sighed again and relaxed further into the embrace, before turning around that she could see her face. Rarity nuzzled into Celestia's neck, she felt whole again. She was right, of course, she didn't sleep a wink. It was very rare that the unicorn drifted off before the princess, but Celestia wouldn't have had it any other way while she lay there. She watched Rarity's serene face and gentle breaths until she had to raise the sun again, and allowed herself the reprieve of pretending that this would be the very last time she came back.
There's A Lack of Colour HereCelestia didn't know if there was such a thing as a good death, but all said and done, Rarity's was probably as close as you could get. Spike was there, thankfully he was still small enough to fit in a normal sized room, and she was comfortably nestled in Celestia's arms. She had no pain, she wasn't ill or wasting, it was just her time. The princess had soothed her and stroked her silver mane, it didn't matter that the purple had long gone because she was still beautiful, she'd always been beautiful. Spike had her hoof in his hands. For such wicked looking claws, the dragon could be so gentle when he needed to be. How many of us get to go out simply falling asleep in the arms of the one they love most in the world? And yet. It wasn't good enough. She was the last of her generation of elements. Magic, laughter, loyalty, honesty and kindness all found new bearers while generosity outlived them all. Celestia had been there for each one. She'd still seen the excited unicorn filly in the eyes of the dying Twilight Sparkle, she didn't know that there was a pain worse than that until now. To Celestia, Rarity could have been any one of the elements, she could have borne them all. Now she didn't have a single one. Some filly or colt would take up the mantle and be celebrated as a hero. Luna could hold the court that day, Celestia never wanted to see anyone else wear that necklace for the rest of eternity. They should have all been with her, but they weren't. The entire kingdom should have stopped and mourned, but it didn't. She should still be with Celestia now, laughing and joking and as full of life as she was so many decades ago. But she wasn't. The day it happened was the first night Luna had raised the sun, and the day after had been the second. It was coming up on a week now and she still hadn't touched it. When the light truly leaves your life, nothing really compares anymore. Celestia had found it was the first time she could stare into the star and it not be blinding. Rarity had been given a state funeral, as was fitting considering all she'd done. If it weren't for the fact that she was saying goodbye, Celestia could have destroyed the entire procession. A bunch of snivelling sycophantic aristocrats who'd had thought the relationship 'inappropriate' from the start. She'd have put any or all of them in cold dirt if it would make Rarity breathe again. But it wouldn't, so she didn't. Instead, she stood and suffered a litany of half-hearted, mumbled consolations from prince and princess or duke and dame whoever from wherever. She wondered if they were glad. Now the princess could stop her 'frivolities' and get back to matters of state. If any of them did, they were smart enough not to say it. She'd looked like an angel, hooves crossed over her chest with a blue rose between them, wearing a delicate white gown and tasteful jewellery. The princess had hated that gown, it wasn't designed by her and it was not something Rarity would have ever worn in life. It was a lie, just like the stupid jewels and ugly fake flower. The only true thing throughout that ceremony was the smile on Rarity's lips. She'd died nuzzling the princess while wearing it. It was the smile she reserved for Celestia, and another part of the princess that was buried with her. The sound of a minor scuffle outside her chamber doors shook Celestia from her thoughts, no doubt Spike having to barge his way past the guards again. She had told them no visitors under any circumstances and each day they hadn't dared to stop an eight foot dragon from getting past them, she wondered if they had even tried. "Celestia?" he called after knocking. There was no edge to his voice, just concern. He was so sweet, he always had been, "I'm going to stand outside for a few minutes. If you want to talk, just let me know." She thought back, it was a week now. Maybe today was the day. Groggily, she rose from her bed. The air in the room was stale, her coat matted with sweat. She walked to the door on unsteady hooves, and marvelled for a moment about what a week of not using them did. It was all so very fragile. She grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, just a crack. Spike was already looking at her when her eyes adjusted to the light. "Thank you for checking on me Spike, it's appreciated." "I don't want thanking," he said, pain bright and fresh in his eyes, "I want to know if you're okay." The concern in his voice touched her, and she was already so very delicate. She wanted to tell him that she was doing okay considering the circumstances and that he didn't need to worry. However the words stuck in her throat, lodged beneath the sob she was suppressing. Tears welled in her eyes and she realised she wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet. "I... I'll talk to you soon Spike," she managed to choke out before closing the door and retreating back to bed. Despite spending the entire week lay there, she didn't remember the last time she'd slept. The exhaustion caught up to her and Celestia finally felt herself drifting off. She didn't want to have any dreams, she could share that with Rarity at least. Luna came that night, just as Celestia knew she would. The second she'd heard that Spike had actually seen the sun princess she'd be the very next knock at the door. If guards can't stop big scary dragons, they have no chance at stopping big scary princesses. Thankfully Celestia didn't wake for that. When she finally stirred, Luna had been holding her for hours. Celestia's eyes fluttered open and the concerned face of her sister came into focus. They didn't speak for a while, Luna stroked her hair just like Rarity used to do. "Did you cry for her?" Celestia whispered, "I cried for you both," Luna replied sadly, and the white alicorn found herself wracked with sobs even as she willed against it. She clung on to Luna, desperate for something tangible. Even after thousands of years she learned knew things all the time, and today's lesson was the true form of how someone could be a rock in a storm. "Its not fair," she spoke into Luna's chest. "I know," came the reply, her sister's voice tender and caring. "...I wish I could go with her." Maybe one day, a long time ago, Luna would have slapped Celestia for even saying such a thing. 'What a terrible thing to say, you must live on, she'd want you to live on' she'd have bellowed and it would have all been terribly passionate. The only difference between that Luna and this one was so many thousands of years. "I know." Celestia fell asleep for the second time in her sisters hooves, and thank god she still didn't dream. The second time Luna and Spike visited was the first time Celestia raised the sun again. She had cracked her door before dawn to tell whichever guard had the watch to let Luna know. She didn't actually go out on her balcony, but then she'd never actually needed to do that. A show for the populace was the last thing she was concerned with at the moment. Later that morning her PA, a bookish unicorn named Dip Quill, called through her door that the city was rejoicing to see her golden magic move the star again. It was very clear the mare was trying to sound less worried than she was. Celestia ignored her. She rose and, for the first time in recent memory, telekinetically drew open her curtains. The room wasn't quite as bad as she'd imagined. Thankfully, considering she'd barely left her bed, the only actual mess were the creased and chaotic sheets she was sat on. Her eyes came to fall on a framed picture of her and Rarity from many years ago. They were in a photo booth, Celestia was pulling some goofy cross-eyed face and the unicorn was looking at her. Her amused expression was deep and rich with affection, and more than that contentment. She remembered when the stares when they had left the stall to collect the pictures, each giggling like schoolfillies. It stung a lot more than she had been ready for. She forced herself to keep looking at it, until finally the figures were too blurred through her tears. That was how she spent the day, wandering her room and weeping over everything that reminded her of the seamstress. She felt like a trapped ghost, and shouted away every guard that tried to come and check on her. It wasn't until quite later that Spike and Luna's voices began to approach. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but gathered from their curt tones that they were currently going through the farce of getting past the guards. "Sister," like last time, the voice wasn't exasperated or angry, just gentle and kind, "It's me and Spike... can we enter?" For the first time since, Celestia found a part of her did actually want them to come in. She opened the windows to freshen the room because grieving or no, a princess kept her courtesy. She turned back to her bed and pulled the door open with a golden flare. As she settled back down, the princess heard them both come in and close the doors. Once she was back on her new throne, she saw them properly. They could clearly tell she had been crying, and she wasn't prepared to go through the indignity of trying to convince them otherwise. It was Spike who came over first, he wordlessly pulled her into a hug and Celestia had to admit it actually felt nice to have some physical contact again. When he pulled away, he regarded her with a tender smile and wiped a tear off her cheek gently. "I'm always here if you need me," he said before turning to leave. Before going through the door he shot Luna a sympathetic look, and Celestia felt even worse. He was sure to be grieving too, and she had not once gone to him. Maybe it made her selfish, but she still knew it wouldn't make her go to him anytime soon. Luna, on the other hoof, had always loved Rarity but mainly for how happy she made Celestia. Maybe that was why Spike had left, the princess didn't have to feel any obligation to her sister. "It was a beautiful sunrise sister," Luna offered, ignoring the unimpressed look she got in return, "I know, I know. They're all the same, right? But truly, this one was beautiful. Sometimes I get so caught up in wishing our subjects loved my moon more, that I forget to watch the sun rising." Luna levitated a pillow and set it in place next to Celestia, before hopping onto the bed and settling down with her. She turned her attention to the picture of her sister with Rarity, still clutched tightly in shimmering golden magic. Wordlessly, Celestia relinquished her hold on the object and found gold immediately replaced by indigo. Luna looked at the photo affectionately and draped a wing over Celestia's back. If her sister was grateful for the contact, she didn't show it. Celestia tore her eyes away from the treasured photograph and instead looked at Luna, she seemed to be struggling with something. Her brow was furrowed and she swapped her magic hold for her hooves. Her grip was tight as she stared deeper, it almost looked like she was trying to pull something out of it. Celestia knew the feeling well. Luna's mouth fell open and closed several times, feeling the way around unspoken words. Say it Luna, please just say it. "Sister I... I just..." for a very brief moment, she looked like she was going to cry, "I just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what." The first time Celestia managed to smile since Rarity's passing was when Luna turned to her, misty-eyed and desperate. It was weak and fleeting, but it was genuine. That'd have to do for now, she thought. The first time Celestia managed to comfort someone else since Rarity's passing was when she pulled the trembling younger alicorn into her arms and allowed her to silently weep into her chest. Author's Note So this is a sequel to Time, If you've not read it, I'd encourage you to do before reading this though all you really need to know is that it was a Celestia x Rarity story.
Forever And EverThe third time Luna visited her sister was one week after Celestia had taken back her sun. It had been bad, very very bad. But then it started to get better. Not much better, but a little. Meals came back slightly touched, Spike was able to visit more and more. Luna would have left it, but that morning she had seen Dip Quill leaving her sister's chambers. Someone other than her and Spike having been allowed direct contact with the princess had probably been the biggest leap forward thus far. When she had seen Spike enter shortly after, Luna had headed to the door. She breezed past the guards who had largely become a formality at this point and lingered there, unsure about whether to head in or not. It was when she'd heard her sister laugh, a delicate musical sound that reminded her of wind-chimes, that she first knew someone could come back from the dead. Her hoof hovered at the doorknob but she immediately dropped it when she heard that laugh again. This could wait until later tonight. Luna walked back down the hall quickly, before exiting through a balcony. Her wings beat as she flew toward her own tower. It would not do for the guards to see their princess cry. "Come in Luna," her heart worked overtime to hear Celestia call her in, almost as if nothing was wrong. "How did you know it was me?" she asked as she entered. "Dip Quill apologies every time she knocks, poor thing, and Spike scarcely bothers knocking at all now." "I saw him visit today, the two of you sounded..." the unsaid word lingered for a moment. Finishing the sentence with 'happy' or 'normal' would have been inappropriate at best, insulting at worst. Celestia didn't seem offended, however, and carried on clearly understanding what Luna was so desperate to imply. "We talked a lot, he has so many stories from before we..." to her credit, Celestia didn't lose her composure as her eyes misted and voice cracked slightly, "Do you know, all her friends asked for eight revisions on those Grand Galloping Gala dresses?" She smiled despite the tears on her cheeks, normal was definitely the wrong word and they both knew it. "You two sounded better," Luna offered. Both her sister's smile and tears grew. She wanted to go over there and comfort her, but Luna was scared about whether she could remain strong enough. She had been weak on her last visit and guilt had remained since. The thought of the conversation she knew she had to have made her feel sick, but could anything be worse than this? Both stood, one crying, the other rooted to the ground. "I'm sorry Celestia," she began, not giving herself time to consider whether this was right or not, "Seeing you the way I did scared me more than I could believe. For just a minute, it... felt good to feel like you were just my big sister and I had a bad day and was crying about that." Luna winced at Celestia's expression, the clear concern and desire to comfort wounding the younger alicorn. She wasn't here to force her own issues onto Celestia, not again. "But that was selfish of me, and I'm sorry. It doesn't do for me to be weeping in your arms like a foal while you're going through this." "I've not had a single dream since... Not a single one, I wonder how difficult it is to maintain that in an alicorn of all creatures," even in this state, there was no fooling her older sister. Luna felt guilty at the small note of pride that bubbled up upon having her efforts recognised. "I know this is hard on you too Lulu, but I know you're trying. You don't need to feel guilty about wanting some comforting." "I'm not as good as Spike at this sort of thing," she immediately spoke, hoping for all the world her sister wouldn't be able to hear the lump in her throat, "So instead, I thought about whether it could be approached like finding tangible solution to a problem," "Rarity is gone Lulu, I don't know if that's a problem you can solve," the moon princess suppressed a small gasp at hearing Celestia verbally acknowledge the situation for the first time. Still, her expression didn't match her words, she looked expectant, as if the sheer awfulness of reality was enough to make her believe the absurd alternative that Luna could have found the solution to her lover's death. As it happened, Luna had maybe done just that. "What I am about to suggest... is not ethical. Many would call it an unforgivable abuse of power," "So why are you suggesting it?" There it was again, the look in Celestia's eyes. It did what she couldn't, and screamed at Luna to carry on and finish the damn idea. "Because you're my sister, and ethics can hang if I can stop you feeling this way." Celestia seemed to consider Luna's words for a minute. She made her way to the bed and looked at her picture again. Seeing Rarity's expression seemed to make her mind up, just as seeing Celestia's had made Luna's. She sat and patted a space next to her. It looked like they'd hang ethics together. "Do you remember when Twilight Sparkle went back in time?" The two of them had made themselves more comfortable. "Yes of course, she terrified herself." Celestia recalled with a faint smile. "The spell she found was for travelling time, but it wasn't the only research Starswirl did into the matter. It would seem towards the end of his life, he found a way to displace it." Her sister gave Luna a questioning look, prompting her to continue, "Displacing would allow the user to shunt the entire timeline using themselves as an anchor. It eliminates you from time entirely, then reinstates you at a different point. In practise, it avoids the issue with you meeting your past self because there wouldn't be a past self, there would only be the present you in the new present you make." Comprehension finally dawned on Celestia's face. "I wonder how it is that I never heard of this?" "Come now sister," Luna began, allowing herself to tentatively smirk, testing the waters between them, "We both know that spending hours looking through dusty old archives was never exactly your favourite activity." "Correct, but we knew someone who's favourite activity was just that, how was it that Twilight never knew of this spell?" "Oh she did, I recall she had a nightmare once about using it and accidentally going back too far and never getting to meet her friends. Once I had calmed her down I let her give me a lecture about how Starswirl had arrived at it by modifying his original. Suffice to say I didn't get to check anymore dreams that night" "That certainly does sound like her," Celestia laughed, and Luna's heart swelled again. She chanced a hope that the wound was less raw than a week ago, "Do you know if she ever used it?" "There's every chance she could have used it and we would never know. But we know Twilight Sparkle wasn't a pony that sought any kind of great power, she just loved the elegance of the theory put into practise, that's why I never minded that she knew all of these dangerous spells. However, what's interesting is given how much more intense it is than just simply placing yourself somewhere else on the timeline temporarily, Twilight would've probably only been able to manage a few days at most... but you are not Twilight." If she was shocked, Celestia didn't show it. It would be difficult for someone to be unable to predict the end point of this conversation, and Luna wasn't so deluded to think someone as perceptive as her sister didn't know what she was about to propose. "How far back could I go?" she asked, sounding much like she did when she was teaching. "I... well, is this you want?" Luna tentatively replied, feeling like they had skipped a crucial part of the conversation. "Luna, when I sent you to the moon it nearly destroyed me, but I always knew you'd be back. But Rarity won't be back, no-one is ever going to see her again." The sun princess' shoulders slumped and she trembled, "I can't do this, I wasn't ready. No matter how ready how I tried to be, it didn't do anything." Luna's wing found Celestia's back again, but this time she didn't allow herself the chance to break down. She remembered how destroyed she had been with each element's passing. When Twilight died, she didn't ever think Celestia would recover, but she did. She would have always have faith that her sister could come back from anything. So why was she even suggesting this? The truth was, she knew the answer and it scared her. Not once in her entire life had she seen her sister like those last two visits, not once. "I know it might seem like it's getting better Lulu but... just being able to talk to ponies again takes so much work and I'm so tired. I still feel as bad as I did the second it happened, I'm just getting better at hiding it. I'm sorry to say it. Sorry to put it one anyone else, especially you, but I meant what I said to you, and I still do," Celestia turned to face Luna, who tried to conceal her heartbreak, "If I could, I'd go with her." How easily doubts can disappear in the face of an admission like that. Luna took her sister's hooves in her own, she knew what burying everything down did to you. She wouldn't let it happen to Celestia, the world would burn before she did. "I think you could manage a few years."
How Time FliesThe second time in history that the moon failed to lower on time was on the four week anniversary of the Element of Generosity's death. If the populace were in shock, neither of their princesses knew. If the castle staff ran around in panic, desperately trying to find Celestia or Luna to explain this, they didn't find them. Neither sister was in Canterlot right now, they were somewhere far older. Celestia watched as her sister entered the chamber behind her, the memories of the last time they had both been here couldn't have been easy to grapple with. The younger alicorn had still been Nightmare Moon, and it was here that she had been freed. Celestia would have gone to her, but as quickly as the trepidation appeared on Luna's face, it was replaced by an attempt at stoicism. It was brave, and utterly unconvincing. "Here we are," Celestia said. "Here we are," Luna agreed. "Why here?" "I knew it was the one place that we wouldn't be disturbed," the moon princess began, attempting to hide her trepidation by pretending to inspect the various nooks and crannies of their old home's great hall. Celestia wanted to ask why it even mattered if this timeline was going to dissolve anyway, but she held her tongue. "Lulu, Starswirl was one of the most cautious unicorns I've ever met. The spell is riddled with fail-safes, we're going to be fine." "Do you still want to do this?" Luna changed the subject and looked at her for the first time since they had entered. Celestia didn't immediately answer her sister's question, instead she looked within and felt the chasm insider her hadn't gotten the least bit shallower. The figurative porcelain around her face was only tightening though. All she wanted to do was cry, and she hadn't cried once today. What did that make her? She always tried to be honest with her sister, and the honest truth was thus. All things considered, if the option was there, she'd follow Rarity to the grave without a second's hesitation "I do," "Then so do I," Luna replied. "As long as you're making physical contact with me, the spell will bring us both back. However, I..." Celestia faltered for a second, prompting a concerned look from her, "I need you to give me some of your magic." The request remained in the tense, stale air. Luna regarded her sister cautiously, clearly wondering how best to voice her concerns. "Celly, I... I don't know if-" "I can't do this if it's just a few years Luna!" Celestia cut off the younger alicorn, "It's not enough! I need time I... I just I... I can't do it again. Not that soon. Please sister... I just can't do it again." They didn't speak for a moment as Celestia's words sank in. She sat on her haunches despondently until Luna made her way over and sat with her. "I suppose, if we're doing this, we might as well do it properly." Celestia gave her sister a teary smile, more grateful than she could describe. They rose and Luna placed her horn on her sister's chest. At once, Celestia felt her magic flow into her. It was so different to her own, an infinitely black oblivion against the sun princess' bright aether. And more than that, she felt Luna's love for her. It permeated the space they now shared, an overwhelming wave of affection. Celestia smiled down at Luna, suppressing a sob because it just wasn't enough. Her horn was illuminated blinding gold as she began to perform the spell she had learned. An intangible multicoloured aura began to surround them. It made Celestia feel sick to look at, she couldn't make sense of it. It was like something always at the corner of her eye, something not meant to be seen. It intensified as Luna finished giving her big sister her magic. She looked up at Celestia, clearly weakened but doing her best to be brave. It was a massive thing, to actually pull time back around yourself. Even if Luna thought she was about to get her wish and see her sister better, Celestia could understand her trepidation. But it had seemed to melt away when their eyes met, knowing they'd always be safe together. Celestia felt guilty about not feeling guiltier. But as she had said, it wasn't enough. Rarity's absence still split her apart. Celestia had wished and wished for longer than she could remember that Luna alone could be enough. Luna kept her hoof on her big sister's cheek, making sure they stayed in contact. She never saw it coming. Charging her horn again, Celestia quickly bowed her head and fired a telekinetic blast directly at Luna's chest. In her normal state, such a thing would've scarcely moved her. With her magic coursing through Celestia and no time to rest and regenerate it, she was thrown against the walls of the Castle of the Two Sisters. Celestia would never seriously hurt her little sister, but she couldn't have Luna just getting back up and running back over. As such, she smacked against the stone with a stomach churning whack and fell to the ground. The impossible aura strengthened, and through it Celestia could make out her sister shakily getting back to her hooves, pain clearly wracking her every movement. When she opened her eyes, they were confused for a second until she found Celestia's gaze again. For the first time since Rarity's death, Celestia thought Luna might have finally understood. If either wanted to say anything, they weren't quick enough to do so before she was wrenched away from time completely. When that awful aura finally disappeared, the sun was up and she was alone in the castle of the two sisters. Celestia collapsed suddenly, the exertion surprising even her, even now. And yet it didn't matter if it was going to kill her, she had somewhere else to be. Beating her wings, the princess reached higher and higher. She ascended through the hole which was once a ceiling and climbed until the ruin looked like a matchbox beneath her. It was hard, so very hard, but she forced herself onward towards the tiny speck of a village she could see towards the North. She hadn't been lying, all those times she wept. Every single one had been real, and it scared her because even now, it had felt just as bad each time. The first time she had gone back, Luna had come with her and they'd managed two years. Two years in which every moment not spent with Rarity was a hellish maelstrom of misery. She knew what was coming, and two years is so very short. When she'd said she meant to do it again, she wasn't surprised by how firmly and categorically Luna had forbade it. Celestia didn't even pretend to take the words on board. When Luna found her that night, surrounded in that sickening aura, the princess didn't know what was worse. The sheer look of disappointment and betrayal on Luna's face, or how quickly Celestia had stopped caring after seeing Rarity again. She'd managed five years. That time, she'd sworn that it was the last. Five years should be enough, and in total she'd gotten an extra seven. More than anyone across time and history would ever get, and it wasn't even close to being enough. It had gone like this for so long, was this the eighth or ninth time now? Sometimes Luna would be the one to propose it to her, sometimes she'd do it herself. It wasn't until the last time, when the time-stream had been different and Rarity had gotten an extra year, but Twilight somehow got even longer. It was her faithful student herself that had proposed the idea to the princess, and she had willingly offered as much of her magic as she could give. Celestia had so often wondered why she a pony who held the sanctity of magic so close to her had been willing to do something so utterly reckless. The best idea she could come up with was that Twilight had been a lot stronger that time, but she wasn't long for the world herself. Of all the ways to end your life, seeing your mentor and second mother killing herself with grief was no way to do it. She had managed thirty years, just in time to see Rarity close out her sixth decade on this world. Twilight had been so advanced, and combining two magic sources allowed for power much greater than the sum of its parts. But as Luna had said herself, natural alicorns were a different matter all together. She had dared to hope when she had felt all her sister had to give flowing through her veins. It was when Ponyville became clearer that Celestia began to cry. The little village was just that, a quaint, charming little village. With six elements of harmony living there, tourism had started to pick up exponentially. Through regeneration and development, Ponyville had become a bustling sprawl. For now though, it looked like Celestia had remembered it sixty years ago. Sixty five if she was going to be exact, but who was counting? She wiped the tears from her eyes and composed herself. Once she touched down, she ignored the various greetings from smiling ponies. When she had started visiting Rarity, the novelty of her appearance had quickly ebbed for the villagers so there was no more sudden rushes to bow for her. But she was still the princess, and they still excitedly received her each time. After decades of not seeing the village like this, she still knew the way perfectly. Before long she found herself stood again in front of Carousel Boutique. Well, she found herself in front of a Carousel Boutique. It didn't have all the various extensions that Celestia had gotten used to. It was elegant in its relative simplicity. An tasteful, two story building which for all the world looked like a merry-go-round. Celestia knew then that this was her favourite Carousel Boutique. She hoped it would never ever change. Even after all this time, she couldn't accept it was all real until she had her hooves around Rarity again. She trotted up and knocked on the door, promising herself that this would be the time she kept her composure. Still, she had promised Luna they would go back together, and every time she made the journey she promised herself it would be her last. Maybe Celestia just wasn't good at keeping promises. As soon as the unicorn opened the door, looking more youthful than Celestia had seen her in nearly two hundred years, she broke down immediately. "Darling, whatever is wrong?" she asked, the concern in her indescribably beautiful voice making Celestia cry even more. Without waiting, she scooped the unicorn up in her hooves and held her, terrified to let go. Rarity usually chastised the princess for holding her like this. With her size, she could easily cradle her like a child. But they both knew Rarity secretly loved it. It wouldn't have mattered even if Rarity had started indignantly shouting, Celestia just needed to be in contact with as much of her as possible. She didn't know when the seamstress had managed to break free and get her inside the boutique, neither could she tell when Rarity had taken off her regalia and got her into a lavender-scented bubble bath. Though the intensity was down and she was finally aware of her surroundings again, she continued to sob. Rarity massaged shampoo through her mane and gently sang to her, it had always been Celestia's favourite sound in the world. When they were done, she carried on singing while gently drying off the princess with towel's she'd magically heated up. It was like waking up after being dead. It was waking up after being dead. "So, did the summit with the Griffons really go that badly?" Rarity asked. Apparently she was supposed to be having a summit with the Griffons. Celestia couldn't think of something she cared less about at this moment. She didn't answer the question and apparently, for Rarity, that was enough. "Well that fussy old king is a tough one for sure. I know it must have been awful so you don't have to talk about it." She finished her drying and looked at the princess, seeing through all this with startling ease. "But darling... when you want to talk about the summit, I'll be here for you." She was so bright, and she didn't even know it half the time. She might have been the smartest mare in all the world. "Can... can I just hold you for a while?" Celestia's voice was raspy, and she realised it was the first thing she had said to her lover since she died. Rarity gave her a sympathetic look, gently stroking her cheek with one of those soft, heated towels. Shortly, they were both tucked into Rarity's bed. The clock read half nine, apparently Celestia had been indisposed for longer than she realised. She looked around, feeling the chasm mercifully start to fill. She had made it, she was here again. The ceiling of the room was a clean, immaculate, almost unnaturally perfect white. The bed was a bed for a normal sized unicorn, and usually Celestia's legs would spill ungracefully out of the covers. Tonight they were tucked up, wrapped around Rarity with her forelegs. She was so soft, every time she let out a little sigh of contentment was another reminder to Celestia what she'd taken when she'd gone. Neither were asleep, Rarity was a night owl and as such would probably be up long after Celestia had drifted off. Sometimes she woke in the night to hear a gentle humming harmonised with the soft whirr of the sewing machine. It was like music. She wondered if she'd sleep at all tonight though. She still remembered the smack of her sister colliding with the wall of their childhood home, as well as the teary look she shot Celestia when she'd realised what was happening. She knew she wouldn't deserve the way Luna would treat her like nothing was wrong the next time she saw her. Celestia almost wished all this didn't utterly pale in comparison with every breath Rarity took. She'd always said that there was no way she'd carry on just masking the pain. She'd not saddle Luna and realm with another Nightmare Moon. She'd do the impossible and end it before that. But sometimes, when she was all alone, she wondered if what she was becoming was any better. And she wondered why she barely cared at all. The answer was obvious, of course, she had all available limbs wrapped around the answer, but she couldn't accept it. Because even that felt like spreading some of the blame onto this beautiful, good-hearted unicorn who didn't even know how to do wrong. Celestia would end it before she ever did that, too. "No-one was expecting you back until tomorrow darling," Rarity said, her eyes closed in contentment, before adding with a musical giggle, "You certainly came a long way to see me." Even though there was no possible way, Celestia sometimes wondered whether Rarity knew. She was so perceptive and just so utterly and totally bright, maybe she could see more than even Celestia could. "It was worth it," she replied, letting the delighted little laugh she got in response fill her mind totally. The seamstress sighed again and relaxed further into the embrace, before turning around that she could see her face. Rarity nuzzled into Celestia's neck, she felt whole again. She was right, of course, she didn't sleep a wink. It was very rare that the unicorn drifted off before the princess, but Celestia wouldn't have had it any other way while she lay there. She watched Rarity's serene face and gentle breaths until she had to raise the sun again, and allowed herself the reprieve of pretending that this would be the very last time she came back.
