Seven Reasons Not To Die

by _Everglow_

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Romance, Equestria Girls, Suicide / Self Harm, Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Sad
Length: 3679

"Give me a week and each day I can show you a reason to live. If you still want to die by the end, you can go."

One night, atop the roof of Canterlot High School, Sunset Shimmer decides that it's time to put an end to her story. Luckily, there's someone there to stop her, and show the former demon that there's a reason for her to live.

Published 2018-08-24 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-26 15:54:35 UTC

Atop The Roof

My legs wobbled and my hands trembled as I made my way closer to the edge of the roof of Canterlot High. The cool breeze that stroked my face and weaved through my hair was slightly soothing and a welcome distraction to my heart, which was rapidly hammering against my chest. I stared down at the nothingness below, just the empty paving of the school walkway, and the odd autumn leaf that left a splash of colour. I gulped in fear. The school was that high up, that if I jumped, I'd be dead on impact.

But that's what I wanted, right? Quick, easy and painless.

I'm sure my peers would walk up in the morning and smile with delight that the she-demon was finally gone. They wouldn't have to worry about me ruining their lives anymore, me hurting anyone or causing more trouble than I already had. In fact, no one would care. I had no family here and even my own back in Equestria had never made any attempt to come find me. I wiped a lone tear from my face and clenched my hands into tight fists, my nails cutting into the skin of my palms. My mother was probably sitting there, happy her disappointment of a daughter was gone. And my dad, he probably hadn't even noticed my absence. Celestia might be the only one who would really care, but I doubt she would for long. She'd already replaced me with Twilight Sparkle, she didn't need her former student.

None of my "friends" would care either. I don't even think they care about helping me. They're only putting up with me because Twilight asked them to. And part of me can't blame them. They're nice people. I'm not. Fluttershy's the only one who actually cares. She's too kind to see me for what I am.

I take a deep breath and step up, so I'm right on the edge of the roof, the toes of my leather boots pointing off into the empty air.

You can do this, Sunset. This is what you've always wanted. Now it can finally happen.

"This'll be good for everyone." I whispered to myself. "You won't do any more damage now. Everyone will be happier."

I let a foot dangle off the roof and take a final breath, squeezing my eyes shut and preparing myself for the fall. Suddenly, I felt myself tip sideways and crash onto the ground, my firey hair partly cushioning my face, softening the impact.

Was I dead? I open my eyes and look around. Nope I was still on the roof of the school, the only difference now is that there was someone else with me. A boy who stood up, dusted himself off and held out his hand to help me up. I shook my head, so he instead retracted his hand and ran it through his pale blue hair. I could hear his breath, rapid and shallow, like he'd been the one about to jump. I rolled my eyes and stood up, folding my arms across my chest as I watched him pacing from each side of the building to the next.

I knew who he was. Hell, everyone knew who he was. Sky Blue. He'd practically took over my role as being the popular kid at CHS, only difference is he was popular for all the right reasons. He cared about everyone and he'd drop anything to help them. That was why he was such a quick choice for head of the Student Council. I was probably just another way to boost his ratings: Heroic Sky Saves Useless Sunset.

"What do you think you're doing?! Are you crazy?!" he yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What did it look like I was doing, enjoying the view?" I grumbled sarcastically, just loud enough for him to hear.

His pacing stopped and he shook his head. "Why? Why would you want to..."

"Have you seen my life?" I asked angrily. "Everyone hates me."

"I don't."

I laughed. "Yeah, I know you don't. You're Sky Blue, you like everyone. Do you even know who I am?"

He gave a subtle nod, "Sunset Shimmer. You sit in front of me in Cranky's English class."

I blinked a couple of times just to register what he'd said. Usually I just expected people to go with, "Sunset Shimmer, the girl who took over the entire school and ruined everything", I didn't know they actually thought of me as anything else.

"Look, I've done so many bad things that I don't deserve to be here. You might look past that and tell me I shouldn't do this, but I say otherwise." I peered out across the flickering lights of the town and closed my eyes. "I don't deserve your kindness. All I've ever done is hurt people. This'll be best."

"No." His voice, firm and clear, cut through the silence. I felt his hand on my wrist and I sucked in a breath, the pain shooting through me. He immediately removed it and whispered an apology.

He didn't say anything for a short while after, his grey eyes deep in thought. I was tempted to just turn around and jump, but I couldn't. Something about him made me feel like I needed to stay, to at least hear him out.

"Give me a week." Sky paused. And... And if I can't convince you to stay... I'll let you jump, no question."

I gave him a skeptical look. "Why should I believe you? Why would you let me jump?"

He sighed. "I'm not gonna make you stay if you don't want to, but I think I can persuade you to live."

I looked down at my shoes. A week. He only wanted a week. Seven days. I could deal with that, couldn't I? This would only reassure me that I was right in what I was doing. Right?

I sighed dramatically. "Fine. You have a week."

Sky gave me a toothy grin. "Thank you, Sunset."

Author's Note

This is my first fanfic so I apologise if it's crap :twilightsheepish: this is the first of a total of eight chapters I'm planning to write and I really hope you enjoy. :pinkiesmile:

Reason #1 - All The Little Things

Waking up in bed the next morning felt as both a blessing and a curse. I couldn't stop thinking what would've happened if I jumped, if I'd be better off than I was now. But then another was happy to find someone who was actually helping me just because they wanted to, not because someone else had told them to. Although I did still have my suspicions about Sky.

Don't get me wrong, I valued my friendship with the girls but I could never shake the feeling that it was forced. The way they'd be doing all these things and only actually invite me if I overheard them talking about it. The constant "no offence" like that would suddenly make it all better. It didn't. As much as I knew they didn't mean to say it, just a slip of the tongue thing, but telling myself didn't stop the pain. Each word cut into my heart and playing it off like it didn't matter just kept getting harder.

I stopped hanging around with them as much, half because I felt like a burden and half because I knew I didn't deserve them anyway. They never actually asked why I didn't sit by them at lunch so I just assumed they didn't actually care.

But that was okay because I knew I had a choice. When I was framed as being Anon-A-Miss, they made it clear they didn't want me around. It was hard to miss the piercing looks and the angry notes placed on my locker. It got too much that I just couldn't take it anymore.

Cutting was a temporary solution I guess. I finally felt I was getting the pain I deserved. People glaring at me hurt, but I'd honestly rather they just say whatever they're thinking to my face, instead of the judging whispers in the halls. One day I found a pair of scissors next to me and just did it. I didn't even think. I just watched the blood drip down, replaying the harsh words on my locker in my head. Demon. Bitch. She'll never change. Go home and don't come back.

I could never go home. Celestia didn't want me there, my parents didn't want me either. I didn't want to go back and ruin their lives again, and there wasn't another world that I knew of to go and start over. Jumping was my way out. Out of this prison I'd created for myself.

I got out of bed and stretched, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and sighing. Apparently Sky was coming over today to take me out, he wasn't specific on where though.

I didn't really want to leave the house today but I couldn't just constantly mope in here forever so I dragged myself in the bathroom to take a shower and get myself sorted out.

Sometimes when I actually look at all the scars and bruises on my arms, all I can think of is that I've made some terrible mistake. The overlapping jarred lines just look ugly and sick. But in that moment, when the cool cold metal is cutting into my skin, the punishment satisfies me. It probably sounds crazy to other people.

I put on a regular hoodie to cover up my arms and jeans, not feeling like anything special. I skipped on brushing my hair and just put it up into a ponytail. Lately, I'd been letting myself loose. It's not like anyone really paid attention to how I looked anymore. Hoodies and baggy jeans were my new look.

I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and collapsed onto my couch. It wasn't the best, all tattered leather and lumpy seats, but I couldn't really afford anything else.

My book from Equestria sat on the table next to me. I hadn't really used it in a while. I did write to Princess Twilight at first, but after a while she just responded with short paragraphs, like she was too busy. So I stopped.

My life just turned into stalking around school like a ghost and then passing out on my couch. I didn't have anyone to talk to. Maybe Sky could change that.

The front door knocked and I was snapped out my thoughts. Pulling myself up off the couch, I ambled over to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open.

"Hey." Sky greeted with a small wave. The sun fell on his face in such a perfect way, making his stormy grey eyes sparkle in its rays. For a second, my mind remembered Flash Sentry for a split second and I shook my head. I hoped whatever this was with Sky, friends or not, I wouldn't mess it up the same way I did with him.

"Hi." I said plainly, tucking my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. "You gonna tell me where we're going?"

A warm smile appeared on his face. "Where was your favourite place to go as a kid?"

"The library."

He let out a small chuckle and shook his head, but his welcoming smile didn't falter. I wished I could be that happy. "Seriously?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I didn't really have any friends so I spent my time studying for exams and stuff." I laughed a little myself, remembering Celestia threatening to ban me from the library if I didn't make some friends. The laughter stopped almost immediately as I then remembered her finding me in the castle archives, me demanding to know why I wasn't a princess yet then her banishing me from the castle. I bit my lip and tried and push the bad memory out my mind. My time in Equestria isn't something I liked to think about.

I didn't like to think about a lot of things to be honest. Most of my memories were bad ones anyway.

"Well," he started, putting a hand on my shoulder to get my attention. "That's gonna change today. Consider me your friend."

I flashed him a small, genuine smile. One of those off me was rare. Most of them were fake, but for once, I didn't have to pretend.

I sat down and pulled on my boots as he slouched against the doorframe waiting for me to finish.

"So, you actually gonna tell me where we're going?" I asked, throwing my apple core in the trash and grabbing my key of its hook.

"The park."

We stepped outside and I locked the door to my small apartment before turning around and raising an eyebrow at Sky.

"What, they're fun!"

"Never said they weren't." I shrugged. "I just don't understand how going to the park is a reason for me to live."

"It's not just about the park, Sunset. It's about the little things, the little joys. Even when life is giving you a hard time, you have to find something to make you happy or laugh or smile. That's the one thing we've got that nobody can truly take away from us: our joy."

Sky's words just hung in the air for a moment, neither of us saying anything else. I guess he was right. All cutting did was bring my mood further down then it already was. I'd thought that the sadness was permanent and I couldn't change that, but maybe I could.

"I guess you're right." I sighed and started walking towards the lift. "You coming?"

"I have to, you probably don't know what a park even looks like." he joked.

"Shut up." I punched him in the shoulder. "Just because I never went as a kid doesn't mean I haven't ever been."

"Have you?"

"No."

Sky laughed as we entered the lift and he clicked the button for the ground floor. I couldn't help but join the laugh, smiling under the soft buttery yellow light emitting from the bulbs in the lift. I didn't know why I was warming up to him so fast but talking to him was...easy. I didn't have to overthink anything I was gonna say incase he judged me for it. I didn't have to question if he was really here for me or was just doing it because he'd been told to. Not that I actually knew his motives.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked cautiously, scared I wouldn't like the answer.

"What?"

"Why are you helping me? Everyone else... They hate me. What makes you different?"

He looked at me, and then his gaze fell, his expression turning sad. "This happened before and I... I couldn't save them. I didn't want to make the same mistake with you."

My mind wondered to who it could've been, nobody at school had ever tried, as much as I knew at least. "Who?"

"I prefer not to talk about it. Lets go."

As soon as I stepped outside, I felt the cool breeze on my face. The trees swayed and the sun shone dimly behind the clouds. I spotted Sky's car straight away, parked next to my motorbike.

"That yours?" he asked and I just gave a nod in reply. "Didn't know you were such a daredevil."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me."

"True. Maybe that can change today." He unlocked his car and got in. I hesitated for just a second before sighing and getting into the car.

"Yeah. Maybe."

"I see you live alone in there. Must be cool, not having parents on your case all the time." He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

I rested my head on the cool glass of the window and closed my eyes. Even if my parents were always on my case, I'd be happy just to know they cared.

Sky seemed to notice my silence. "Sorry. Sensitive subject, huh?"

"Yeah. They're not dead or anything. As far as I know at least. I just... They're not something I like to think about."

"That's okay."

I opened my eyes and gave a small smile. "So, tell me about your life Mr. Popular."

He laughed. "You say that like being popular is a good thing."

I raised an eyebrow. "You don't think so?" I'd always thought that popularity was all he cared about. It's not like he ever said he didn't want to be. He just went with it.

"Not really. It's nice having people, but you realise that they're not really your friends. They're just followers. Like, you have everyone-"

"But at the same time, you have no-one." I finished. "Yeah, I understand that."

"I thought you were happy being popular though." he said, his voice sounding surprised.

"I was never truly happy, I don't think. Popularity only made me feel good for a little while, and constantly being voted Princess of the Fall Formal gave me a little boost from time to time, but then I realised, I didn't have anyone I could talk to or hang out with. I didn't have any real friends. They all followed me out of fear, not for who I was."

We drove in silence for the rest of the ride, well, except for the radio playing in the background. I sung under my breath and watched the scenery whizz by.

It wasn't long before we pulled up next to the bright red gates of the park. I watched a couple of children on the roundabout, laughing and making each other dizzy. Having friends to do that with must've been nice. Shame I was so stuck up that I couldn't do those types of things. It was always about preserving my 'image' and I thought that having friends made you weak. I was so wrong.

I got out the car and slammed the door, following Sky through the gate.

"What do you wanna do first?" he asked. I peered over his shoulder, scanning the park for something I liked or probably the one that looked less childish.

"How about the swings?"

"Sure."

We both jogged over, before sitting on the small seats. My hands clasped around the cool metal as I pulled myself back, then let it swing forwards, my body cutting through the air.

I repeated this, gradually getting higher. I smiled to myself. Among other things, part of the reason I'd wanted to be a Princess was so I could fly. I loved climbing everywhere, hights were one of my favourite things. Being above the rest of the world, looking down at the faded lights, painting your own little picture, seeing things no-one else saw.

"You're good at this." Sky turned to me and smiled, our swinging somehow synchronised.

"Thanks." I smiled back, swinging my legs forward. Part of me forgot for a moment why Sky was doing this, forgot that the night before I'd been on the verge of jumping. For a moment, he was just my friend, my real friend. He wasn't fake, this wasn't a lie. Even though we didn't know each other that much, I felt that spark of true friendship that the girls didn't give me.

"So, other than the library, did you hang out anywhere else as a kid?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I was kid of an antisocial person. Kept myself away from people."

"So then I take it that you didn't want friends, not that people didn't want to be your friend?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Why was that?"

I chuckled to myself. 'You ask a lot of questions' "My mom always told me that friends got in your way and you're the only person you can look out for. You're the only person who can get you to the top." My expression grew angry as I heard her voice in my head, telling me all this crap again. Having friends didn't get me to the top, not even close. I'd fallen so far that getting back up seemed next to impossible.

She was the reason I tried to be a Princess in the first place. She always told me how I had to aim for the top, to be better than everyone else. I got top scores in my magic exams, had a higher IQ than anyone else in my class and she never once said she was proud of me. It wasn't enough. So I enrolled in Celestia's school for gifted unicorns and worked as endlessly and hard as I could. And when I got nowhere... The pain crushed me. Going home a failure wasn't an option. So I took another piece of advice from my mom. 'Do whatever it takes to reach the top. Don't let anyone get in your way.' So I did. After Celestia kicked me out, I couldn't go home. The mirror became my final resort. If all had gone to plan, I could've been at home with my parents, finally hear my mom say she was proud. But now, I probably never will.

"Sunset? You okay?" Sky's voice cut into my thoughts.

I realised that I'd stopped swinging and was now sitting motionless. I wiped a tear that had become apparent on my cheek. "Y-Yeah."

"Anything you don't want to talk about, just tell me and we don't have to."

I nodded and made a promise to myself that I would try to enjoy my day and put my past behind me, at least for a little while.

Author's Note

Hey! I've decided to do this chapter in two parts so the second will be posted as soon as possible. I've read and taken your comments into account and thank you for taking the time to read my story, I really appreciate it :twilightsmile:. I'm planning on rewriting the first chapter when I've finished because I know a few of you are disappointed at its length. Anyway, cya x