Steve's Failed Portal

by Steve Miner

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 961

Steve creates a portal that sends him from Minecraftia into Equestria.

Steve is the above average miner and adventurer, with a simple life, compiled of building huge constructions such as castles and slaying evil beings such as Endermen, until he finds it a bit dull. He's transported to an unknown land after making a portal purely out of cake, because that could only end in victory, thus creating an epic journey like no other for Steve. Along the way he will make friends, fight and/or flee from towering and fearsome creatures, embark on many journeys and learn the magic of friendship. Also, how to use magic. And make circles. And beat a certain pink pony in a cupcake eating contest, but that's going into specifics.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 23:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1: The Portal To Ponyville (almost)

It was another less-than-perfect day in Minecraftia.

Steve had just fended off the undead attacking his city, when he fell off of his wall, and landed in the moat.

Unfortunately, his moat was made of lava.

Respawning next to his bed, he had the idea to create a portal, but not to the Nether.

He had already conquered that.

Or to the End.

He had already conquered that as well, the "Ender Dragon" had been a pushover, once he had stopped pushing Steve over.

Perhaps the Wither?

But no, 17 times was enough.

What he really desired was a new challenge. A change in scenery...

Respawning at his bed he sat in the room, contemplating what his newer, better portal should be made out of. Suddenly, the perfect idea hit him! The perfect material for his portal was so obvious... The lie... so, he set himself upon the task to make a portal... out of CAKE. So off he went, to find what he needed. There was going to be a lot of baking soon...

*6 days and many livestock later*

It was finished. A portal, made of the deliciousness of cake...

Standing back to admire his handiwork, Steve wondered if a flint and steel would light the portal. Since he couldn't think of anything else to make the portal work, he went to his storage room to get one, and while there he grabbed some iron armour, sword, and pick, as well as a bow, two stacks of arrows and 3 stacks of pork; You can never be too careful when travelling to a new dimension, that is, if the portal actually works. Going up the stairs, he stepped into the room he had made specifically for the portal, to find it already open.

"What the Nether?" Steve exclaimed, stepping up to the cake portal. "What...ah, ah, AAAAAAAH!" Steve yelled as he was dragged inside by pink... hooves?

*One dream where Steve was chased by some kind of pink creeper later*

"Oww my head..." Steve exclaimed as he sat up to get a better view of his surroundings. He was in a castle, however it was unlike any he had seen

or built before. It was in need of serious repair, looking more like an above ground stronghold than a castle.

"I'll fix this place up later," Steve said aloud, as he checked his inventory. As he had begun to do, he said to himself what items he had, so he would remember.

"One iron sword, one set of iron armour, one bow and tw-"

"Hi there mister? You're not from here are you? Of course you aren't silly I pulled you through that portal and OHMYGOSHINEEDTOMAKEAWELCOMEPARTY!"

The pink pony dashed off, leaving Steve utterly confused.

"What the Nether just happened?" He thought when suddenly a tower started to collapse.

"Oops! My bad!" He heard a voice say over the sound of falling rubble.

"Who's there?" Steve yelled, and a grey pegasus leaned over the edge and shouted down to Steve:

"Hey there mister! Is this your castle?"

"No, mine is in much better condition." Steve replied.

"Why are you here? Anything I can do to help?" The pegasus asked.

"No idea, and you could help by leading me to the nearest village."

"It's Ponyville! Follow that road," she pointed to a small dirt trail, barely deserving of the word path, "and you should get there no problem! Unless you find a manticore, but I'm sure you'll be fine!" And with that, she flew off.

"Odd," Steve remarked "Eyes that look opposite ways. Ah well, manticores are extinct anyway, I know since I killed them off, that mod made them ridiculously easy. That warning was totally un-needed if they are the same here."

*5 minutes later*

"OH HOLY NOTCH SAVE ME! THEY ARE NOT THE SAME HERE!" Steve screamed as he ran from the largest manticore he had seen in his life.

He jumped out off of the path just as the manticores tail struck where he had been seconds before.

"NOTCH DAMNIT!" He yelled, the suddenly an idea came to him. He grabbed an arrow, drew back his bow and shot.

It hit a paw, and the owner of which bolted away, and Steve could have sworn he heard someone say "Not again!" but Steve had already decided to prioritize what to do with life.

Firstly, get away from the injured and likely REALLY annoyed manticore.

Second, find the place that pegasus had told him about.

*One smacked in the face by a branch but otherwise uneventful trip through the Everfree *

Finally arriving, tired and needing rest, he saw a sign saying "Welcome To Ponyville", and the same pink pony bouncing around, giving out invitations of some kind.

"Her again?" Steve thought to himself, "How in the Nether did she avoid the manticore?"

He blinked, and suddenly the pink pony was gone.

"Where did she-" Steve began, when suddenly her face appeared in his vision, "How the? But you...were over...how?"

"Twilight acted like that too! She got really confused and then she got curious andthenwewenttotheforesttofindadoozythenahydra-" Steve, through some kind of natural reaction, found himself putting a hand over the pink ones mouth, but she still carried on, muffled as it was.

Cautiosly taking his hand away, he said "Look pinky I don't know where I am or who you are but-"

"You just said my name silly!"

"But I don't know your-"

"It's Pinkie! Pinkie Pie! The best part thrower in Equestria!" she gasped "That's right! Your party!"

"...my party?"

"Yeah silly! Come on, it's in the library! Follow meeee~" and the pink pony know as pinkie bounced off towards the library, with a confused miner following in her wake.