SCP 1927

by B_Munro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 3472

The SCP file for a peculiar pink pony

Someone recently did an SCP file for Lyra. I was inspired to post this bit of sillyness which has been on my computer since 2012, so apologies for now non-canon elements.

Published 2018-08-22 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-22 01:20:01 UTC

The jolliest anomaly

ITEM#: SCP-1927
OBJECT CLASS: Euclid

SPECIAL CONTAINMENT PROCEDURES: SCP-1927 is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-32, with certain necessary modifications to take into account SCP-1927’s non-human morphology. The room must be furnished with party supplies, toys, games, a fully supplied baking kitchen, a video player and large television, with a variety of humorous and children’s films on video as approved by the oversight committee. Subject must be kept constantly under observation by at least two (2) agents by close-circuit television. Door is to be reinforced steel, given incident 1927-76. Subject is to be fed three times a day, aside from food consumption at parties, with a varied vegetarian diet, and is also to be given 1 bale of good quality hay weekly. Two agents skilled in performance comedy must be kept on hand at all times: upon observation of any signs of boredom or unusual agitation, agents must be prepared to enact protocol 1927-1, AMUSEPIE, to prevent possible containment breach. SCP-1927 is to be allowed daily access to exercise room one, and limited non-structured interaction with vetted personnel. Limited containment breaches are likely to occur: if SCP-1927 remains within the facility, it is recommended that SCP-1927 be returned to quarters with mild admonishments, praised for its sense of humor, and given no less than 1 (1) ib. of assorted sweets from room 16-D’s pantry.

SCP-1927 is also allowed to have a minimum of two (2) parties a week, or more as approved by oversight committee. All personnel coming in contact with SCP-1927 (save experimental protocols employing class Ds) be of a positive and smiling demeanor, and preferably have experience working with ADD children. Since SCP-1927 will automatically attempt to befriend any personnel it comes in contact with, all personnel with long-term contact with the subject will undergo regular psychological examination and debriefing to make sure they are not becoming excessively attached to the subject. In case of containment breach and SCP-1927 being resistant to normal blandishments, type X17 sleep gas is to be used: in case of capture in an outdoor environment ZUM-12 anesthetic darts may also be used, but agents are warned that doing so will greatly increase the likelihood of non-fatal injury to said agents. Unless it risks the death of high-value personnel and assets, all recapture efforts are to involve nonlethal force, and if possible, are to avoid inflicting any severe injury upon SCP-1927.

DESCRIPTION: SCP-1927 is a female mammalian quadruped, massing 70 kilograms, covered with short fur of a bright pink color and most closely resembling a small pony, smaller than a Shetland, with abnormally large eyes, and a large skull holding a brain of almost human capacity. Mane and tail are unusually long and bushy, and the tail has at times demonstrated some prehensile capacity. Although lacking hands, SCP-1927 is quite skilled in the use of its mouth and tongue to manipulate objects, and it’s “hooves”, although normally quite solid, are capable of changing shape to the extent that they can grip a cup handle or even turn a doorknob: they also display a “stickiness” of as yet undetermined nature that allow the subject to manipulate small objects of under a kilogram as if they adhered to the “hoof.” (SCP-1927 is a moderately skilled pastry chef and cake-maker). Upon its right flank there is what looks like a tattoo of colorful balloons: in fact, examination has shown the fur simply grows in those colors, and if shaved with rapidly grow back in the same pattern. Given SCP-1927 agitation upon the performance of this experiment, it is recommended that further shaving be avoided.

SCP-1927’s primary motivation and source of activity is a compulsion to create a positive emotional atmosphere in all sentient being in its vicinity. It is accomplishes this through singing, dancing, jokes, and the throwing of “parties,” and will attempt to befriend any person (or, in case of other SCP intelligences, any entity) it encounters. Although SCP-1927 is generally considered highly entertaining by those who have interacted with it, SCP-1927 is to be kept away from depressive or hostile personnel: subject is uncomfortable with unhappy or withdrawn people, and will make increasingly bizarre efforts to make them smile and/or laugh, with increasing manifestations of its unusual abilities. This has led to extreme annoyance on the part of the people involved and may lead to containment breach if SCP-1927 thinks it necessary to cheer its target up. It is also recommended that SCP-1927 be kept away from personnel who have little experience with the more unusual manifestations of SCP activity, since they may find some of SCP-1927’s activities disturbing rather than funny. SCP-1927 should not be informed of any new arrivals at the facility, since this increases probability SCP-1927 will attempt to breach containment and throw them a party close to 100%.

SCP-1927 will occasionally play practical jokes on personnel. Personnel should take this in good humor and not attempt violent retaliation. SCP-1927 will be pleased if personnel “prank her back”, but this practice is strongly discouraged, given the cleanup costs from the first “prank war” (see report 1927-27).

SCP-1927 claims to come from another universe inhabited by similar sentient Ponies, and to have arrived in our world by “taking a wrong turn at Marebuquerque.” SPC-1927 is supposedly waiting for its “friends” to come and bring her back. The fact it has been in SCP foundation custody for over a year does not appear to worry SPC-1927: it claims that doesn’t matter, since REDACTED. SCP-1927 calls itself “Pinkie Pie” and reacts with apparent annoyance to those who insist on using the SCP designation: subject has developed a variety of absurdist names for all such personnel.

SCP-1927 is an extreme extrovert, highly energetic, and has been described by Dr. A. Clef as “a cloud-cuckoo-lander on speed.” She appears to have an eidetic memory when it comes to names, important dates, party preferences, etc., but often embellishes rather imaginatively when describing past events. Speech tends to be rambling, full of jokes and non-sequiturs of an amusing nature, if often almost information-free. Perhaps due to insecurities SCP-1927 under certain circumstances demonstrates signs of a split-personality disorder. Under psychological pressures (see report 1927-12)

Note: Or severe emotional shocks (see Addendum 1927-2)

subject will undergo a physical change, its mane and tail becoming limp, and a mental one, becoming hostile, sarcastic, and shrill or withdrawing into depression, and will answer to the name “Pinkamena,” to be referred for clarity as SCP 1927-A. Subject usually reemerges from this state after 1-3 days, usually after a sleep period. During this period most normal manifestations of SCP-1927s abilities cease, but several new ones appear (see report 1927-A-5), and given the possibility that SCP-1927-A might REDACTED, research into keeping her in this alternate state is currently banned.

“The bag of flour – man, it knew things! Terrible things!!” – Extract from D-4221’s interview, report 1927-A-5.

SCP-1927 is considerably stronger and more durable than any terrestrial ungulate of her size, and can kick with force comparable to a full-grown Percheron and “hop” in ways that would break a normal horse’s legs. SCP-1927 is fortunately non-violent: during early captivity several personnel were injured by SPC-1927 in attempts at playful interaction (mostly notably, the severe electrical burns suffered by D-1612 due to the use by SCP-1927 of a “joy buzzer(see report 1927-6): in all cases, SCP-1927 showed indications of great shame and regret. (SCP-1927 has since managed to adjust its actions to take into account human frailty). Although full surgical examination has been denied due to certain risks (see Addendum 1927-1), physical studies indicate an internal anatomy only vaguely similar to terrestrial mammals, and molecular level studies would seem to indicateREDACTED.

SCP-1927 possesses a number of currently inexplicable powers, varying from merely peculiar to potentially highly dangerous. They have been grouped into several types.

Linguistic: SCP-1927 is capable of communicating with staff and sentient SCPs regardless of their language: all who communicate with SCP-1927 will hear it speaking in their own language, and will do so even if observing SCP-1927 through close-circuit television. Recordings played later consists of a complex mix of whinnying, burping, and whistling noises defying any linguistic analysis, unless SCP-1927 is in the room, in which case they become again comprehensible. SPC-1927 claims that communication between all forms of life, including non-sentient ones, is normal on its home world: SPC-1927 seems to be unable to grasp the concept of a “foreign language.”

Metamorphic: SCP-1927 is capable of modifying its physical form, but transformations occur rarely, are short-lived and indeed apparently unnoticed in most cases by SCP-1927 itself. For instance, it claims ignorance of having momentarily manifested two extra forelimbs to gesticulate with while in a conversation with Agent Rankine. The only physical metamorphosis which both repeats and of which the subject appears to be aware is Manifestation 1927-16, in which the subject swallows air and inflates into a balloon-like form capable of floating, in spite of still being plainly far heavier than the air displaced. SCP-1927 apparently does this purely for the purpose of amusement.

Teleportative: SCP-1927, like SCP-173 or SCP-650, is capable of moving itself from one location to another by an unknown method if it is not being observed. While less close attention need to be paid to SCP-1927 than SCP-173, any lapse of attention of more than a few seconds allows the subject to vanish from containment and re-appear anywhere else in the facility. So far, SCP-1927 has failed to leave the facility, which is located in a desolate and isolated location. Upon re-emergence, SCP-1927 has been observed emerging from areas it should not have been able to fit into in the first place, such as the kitchen sink in Canteen 2, or a broom closet in Recreation Room 1. All new personnel cleared for weapons use are to be informed of the possibility of an unplanned encounter, and given training in fire control. (It is to be noted that in several cases of overreaction by surprised personnel, SCP-1927 has never been injured, which may or may not be related to SCP-1927’s abilities).

Apports or Manifestations: SCP-1927 is capable of manifesting objects out of thin air: so far, these include balloons, pies, confetti, a hula hoop, balloon animals, a seltzer bottle, funny nose-eyeglasses combo, various hats, large banners, a bulb horn, a snowglobe, a “party cannon” (see report 1927-30) and an inflatable pool dragon (see report 1927-44 for a complete list). These objects are usually manifested for the purpose of parties, and tend to disappear once the party is over, unless they are carefully and continually observed. Unlike the pies made in its kitchen, Apport pies have no nutritional value or much taste, and exist principally to be thrown into the faces of personnel whose humiliation will give the greatest satisfaction to other party guests. (Personnel and management with a reputation among the hoi polloi for “arrogance”, “pomposity”, or being “slave drivers” are advised to stay well clear of SCP-1927’s parties). SCP-1927 alternately claims ignorance of how it does this or gives long, rambling and incomprehensible explanations that invariably end up entirely off-subject.

Technological: SCP-1927 also appears to have some sort of scientific knowledge, although Dr. REDACTED feels that this may be more of a low-level reality modifying ability than actual science. Given access to simple tools, SCP-1927 was able to reshape various furniture items and toys into a pedal-powered flying machine which it used to fly around her room just under the ceiling while making “woosh, woosh” noises of unknown significance. SCP-1927 has also constructed an automated band from old musical instruments, scrap metal, and an old TV, a “motorcycle” consisting almost entirely of wood and old coat hangers, and a complex mechanism including a standard stainless-steel kitchen sink to produce fart noises. None of these machines function for anyone else. Currently subject is denied access to tools, due to subject’s highly unpredictable nature and consequent uncertainty as to what else SPC-1927 might create.

Personality Modification: there are some indications that SCP-1927 may have some effect on the personality and views of personnel that frequently interact with it, in spite of psychological examinations and frequent tranfers. A number of personnel have reported a great deal of fondness for SCP-1927, frequently use its personal name rather than its designation, and express misgivings about our treatment of SCP-1927. Agents express deep reluctance to using physical force against SCP-1927. In light of this, some of the Directors have expressed doubts about the present containment protocols, wondering if the present considerable liberty and considerate treatment given to SCP-1927 is a sign of SCP-1927 influencing the minds of even senior staff rather than just a sensible precaution due to REDACTED.

Probability Modification: At seemingly random intervals, humorous events, accidents, and coincidences will take place in the vicinity of SCP-1927 at a frequency that will violate the laws of probability, with, for instance, the odds that a D-class will suffer a humorous pratfall increasing by as much as 1000%. Although this appears to be mainly a means of generating the humorous atmosphere SCP-1927 thrives on, it also appears to be a defense mechanism: the probability of friendly fire casualties inflicted upon other agents increases by over 500% with all projectile weapons used while SCP-1927 is present, while the probability of SCP-1927 being hit drops by over 60%. Fortunately, the probability that injuries will be non-fatal increases by some 600%, and the probability that the injury will take place upon the buttocks increases by 900%. There have been, as yet, no serious injuries caused by the manifestation of this ability in its “humor-generating” mode.

Prediction of Future Events: Perhaps the most troubling of SCP-1927’s abilities is its ability to predict future events through what it terms its “Pinkie-Sense.” Manifesting itself through a variety of tics, shudders, sneezes, and involuntary motions of almost all body parts, these “signals” each predict a specific type of event: however, if it manifests a new “signal”, SCP-1927 is ignorant of what they signify until the event has actually occurred. Once the event has been determined, it is added to SCP-1927’s “library” of signals, and will repeat itself exactly if the event recurs in the future. SCP-1927’s “signals” arrive anything from seconds to nearly a day ahead of the event, depending on its severity. Unfortunately, the range of SCP-1927s ability in space is limited: events more than a few miles away from Site-32 elicit no reaction, unless they carry potential for global levels of devastation. This makes the events of REDACTED distinctly disturbing. (See incident report 1927-78)

This particular ability is potentially the most threatening to staff life and limb: SCP-1927’s predictive ability is not, in itself, dangerous, but any attempt to investigate this ability is physically dangerous. Efforts to prevent SCP-1927s predictions from happening in the first place have all gone terribly wrong, with those attempting to do so often bringing about the event in attempting to stop in: a number of personnel have been dreadfully injured in the process, and some killed, but in the cases of death it is generally unclear whether the deaths would have happened anyway due to the event (such as containment breach 682-27). The evidence is less ambiguous in cases where efforts were made to use technology and close observation to determine what happens during the manifestation of the “Pinkie-Sense”, or in cases where deliberately planned “events” were set up to be triggered _after_ the manifestation. As a result of equipment malfunction, burst pipes, partial structural collapses of the building, containment breaches by other SCPs, unexpected clumsiness, a small meteor, and other less likely events, over 76 staff and personnel suffered injuries varying from mild to severe, the worst being Dr. Gregson becoming REDACTED after an effort to deliberately engineer a paradox. Currently, all study of SCP-1927’s “Pinkie Sense” are forbidden save for small-scale experimentation using D-class personnel.

Incident Report 1927-78

On REDACTED, SCP-1927’s “Pinkie Sense” manifested itself with the most severe physical effects seen yet, with the subject vibrating, convulsing, and bouncing off the walls and floors of its cell for nearly 10 minutes. After the “signal” ended, the subject reported exhaustion but no injury, claiming that this was “A real doozy -the worst one ever” and “worse than the time Discord came to town.” A world wide state of emergency was declared, and every resource at the Institute’s disposal was put to work to discover a presumably imminent event of civilization-ending scale. As of REDACTED, all attempts to identify the event that activated SCP-1927’s precognitive ability have ended in failure.

“Did anything happen at all? SCP-1927 has given us a “Pinkie Promise” (which the subject appears to take very seriously) that she was not playing a practical joke, but no evidence exists of any unusual manifestations anywhere on earth in the next 24 hours, and SPC-1927’s abilities have never been shown to predict events further in the future. On the other hand, we cannot ignore the possibility of _something_ having happened even more disastrous than the appearance of a malevolent entity with reality-shifting powers comparable to SPC-239 and of far greater observed range. What could have happened on that day? Is it possible that SCP-1927’s powers for once reached across a far greater gap of time – or perhaps it detected a menace of such scale that it was detectable over, say, interplanetary or interstellar range? It certainly doesn’t help me sleep at night.” – Dr. Sorenson

Addendum 1927-1: (Class 3 clearance or higher ONLY)

SCP-1927 claims to be unworried about how long she has been here, since one of her “friends” is “a time traveler” who will be able to “return them home before they left.” From analysis of SCP-1927’s many rambling discussions of its “friends”, one of them at least is a reality warper on a considerably higher level than SCP-1927 itself, and apparently more than slightly mad: another is capable of supersonic flight and weather control: and a third seems to possess some sort of massive power of mental compulsion. (One of the other two apparently makes really nice dresses and the other is skilled at apple-based dessert making and “bucks real hard.”). Together with SCP-1927, these entities supposedly are the caretakers of a group of artifacts with the power to permanently nullify Keter-level aggressive intelligences. They are in turn servants of an immortal being that is claimed to “raise and set the sun and moon.” Given the possibility of intervention by a Keter-level entity, the oversight committee recommends that as long as it does not interfere with other commitments, the Institution should attempt to keep SCP-1927 in good physical and mental health in case its “friends” actually find their way to this world.

“Sure, it’s possible she’s just making this all up: this “Celestia” may be simple “God-King” superstition; but given some of the things we’ve dealt with, is a being capable of moving planetary bodies much of a stretch? Some of the heads think we’re being nice to SCP-1927 because she’s interfering with our minds: I say that you don’t try to arm-wrestle the Statue, you don’t invite over the Old Man to tea, and you don’t piss off uncontained Keter-level entities because you think we have to be “tough” and “unsentimental” with our subjects!” – Dr. Kravitz (later transferred from Site-32).

Addendum 1927-2

SCP-1927 took a considerable period of time to come to an understanding of the status and ultimate disposition of Class D personnel, apparently undergoing some sort of epiphany on REDACTED/REDACTED/2012. SCP-1927 then spent nearly 145 hours in “Pinkamena” (SCP-1927-A) persona, the longest such period yet, leading to nervous breakdowns among three of the subject’s immediate caretakers. After returning to normal, several personnel reported changes in SCP-1927’s behavior, including a more sarcastic sense of humor and a tendency to snub certain personnel. Parties thrown by subject are reportedly more “frantic”, and SCP-1927 has begun to manifest hard liquor for the first time. Also, Agent REDACTED, in charge of local D-personnel terminations, has reported that SCP-1927 has been appearing in his vicinity, glaring at him, and whispering “cupcakes” in a “sinister” tone of voice. In view of these changes, flight risk for SCP-1927 is considered greatly increased, and it is recommended that SCP-1927 should be implanted without its knowledge with REDACTED.

Addendum 1927-2-A
Of late, it has been noted that among the colorful "cheer up" cards SCP-1927 makes and hands out to personnel, some given to D-class personnel have included somewhat troubling messages, examples being "Cheer up! You'll be dead before it reaches your brain!" and "Don't worry! It will be quick and painless!". Subject is to be discouraged in the strongest of terms from such efforts at "morale improvement."

Author's Note

And there you have it: my first contribution to this site besides quibbles about other people's stories. May God and Epona have mercy on my soul.