Equestria Guys: Product Testing

by Sage Card

Fleshlights are Magic

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"This somethin' important, Elusive?"

Apple Brandy scraped the mud off of the bottom of his boots as he walked inside. His cowboy hat covered his blond hair tied in a ponytail, his freckled skin covered in jeans and a flannel shit. Despite how generically 'manly' his attire was, it was hampered by his naturally feminine build, with his noticeable hips and legs that had his tight jeans cling to him.

It didn't quite compare to Elusive. Despite being in just a dress shirt and pants, with a vest over the shirt and a tie, he had soft features around his face, swaying his hips as he walked. His curly hair might not have been particularly long, but he still flipped it as he turned around and looked at Apple Brandy.

"Oh yes, Apple Brandy. In fact, this is of the utmost of importance. And only someone like you with your...firm sense of honesty could help me." Elusive obviously struggled to find the correct words to address Apple Brandy, but the farmhand shrugged it off, knowing he didn't mean nothing insulting.

"If this is another suit or tie or somethin', then yer gonna have to ask someone else." Apple Brandy said bluntly as he watched Elusive go to the counter and grab a box.

"Oh come now, that's not it at all." Elusive told him, "this is something much more important then having you model for me again. Besides, that's what mannequin are for." He approached Apple Brandy as he told him, "no, what I need you for is a new product I'm going to try and sell in the boutique.

"Uh, a wig?"

"An interesting idea, but no." Elusive told him, his mind starting to go off on the wonderful heads of hair he could be selling.

Wait, no. Focus!

He opened the box and announced, "this, Apple Brandy, is what I'm going to be selling!" The white object had an odd shape to it, almost like a flashlight, but the 'head' was, instead of a lightbulb, was a purple, velvet-like material with a slit-like opening.

"...Elusive, this better not be what ah think it is."

"This, Apple Brandy, is a genuine fleshlight, designed by moi."

Apple Brandy gave Elusive a flat look, turning on his heels and started to walk to the door.

"H-hey! Apple Brandy, wait!" Elusive cried as his horn began to glow as he quickly started locking the door.

The farmboy turned around and glared, "look, Elusive. Ah ain't no gentleman caller for ya to bring home whenever ya wanna get dirty! Ah'm not using that thing and ah'm not stayin' here!"

"Apple Brandy, please! It's for a client!" Apple Brandy raised an eyebrow, but didn't have time to question as Elusive started to elaborate. "A very rich and influential client in Manehatten requested this! I would normally turn down such a vulgar request, but if I can manage to please him with this design, then this could be big for my business!"

"Yeah, a dirty business..."

"Say what you will, Apple Brandy, but this is a big deal for me. Naturally, I want someone who can tell me the whole truth about this thing. I'd be too partial and biased and the other would ether be too bashful or not honest enough to give me their complete and total opinion! I need you, Brandy!"

"Forget it, Elusive!" Apple Brandy huffed, "there ain't nothin' you could do or say tah make me change mah mind!"

"Come on, darling, please! Name your price!" Elusive said, pulling out his wallet. "How about 25 Bits?"

"Ya can't pay me enough for this sort of thing, Elusive."

"50 Bits?"

"Ah said 'no'!"

"Oh PLEASE, Apple Brandy!" Elusive ran over to the apple farmer and got down onto his knees. He began to beg, "there has to be something-anything-that'll convince you to do this for me!"

Apple Brandy crossed his arms as he glared at Elusive. He was ready to walk away with a final 'no', but he stopped and began to contemplate his options. Eventually, Brandy told Elusive, "alright, here's da deal: if you come by tomorrow and work on mah farm, then ah'll do this."

"Work on you farm? Me?" Elusive blinked as he stood up and looked at Apple Brandy, who gave him an unamused look back. Elusive could see in his eyes that he was determined on this. Elusive gave a sigh and extended his hand to shake, "very well, Apple Brandy. You have my word."

"Good." Apple Brandy shook his hand before asking, "so, how do you want me to do this."

"Oh, that's easy." Elusive levitated toward them a comfy-looking chair. "Just take off your pants and sit in this chair." Apple Brandy blushed, glaring at Elusive as he explained, "what? I want you to be comfortable while we do this."

"Ah get that, but...can't ah just do this in da bathroom or something?"

"Well, I have to make sure it works properly. Which means a hands-on experience." Elusive smiled, but it did nothing to assure the farmboy. But nonetheless, Apple Brandy started to comply, pulling off his jeans and giving Elusive a show of the red-colored bloomers he wore underneath. He chuckled lightly as he asked, "bloomers? Honestly, Apple Brandy?"

"Any more comments and I walk." The threat got Elusive to be quiet as Apple Brandy took his underwear off, showing his flaccid dick before he came over to the chair and took a seat. As he did, he noticed Elusive starting to take off his vest and undo his tie. "W-wait a second! Why are ya taking yer clothes off?"

"Well, in case this gets messy of course. I wouldn't want you to splash any cum onto my shirt." Elusive told him simply as he took off his shirt, folding his clothes with magic as the now topless Elusive stood in front of Apple Brandy. Once Elusive turned around, Brandy's dick was starting to get hard as it stood up. Elusive noticed this and chuckled, "my, my, darling, did you get aroused from seeing me topless?"

"Just shut up and get this over with." Apple Brandy said bluntly, his dick standing at a tall 5 inches as Elusive stood before Brandy before getting down on his knees. His fleshlight was in one hand and Elusive took hold of his thigh. He pulled it aside as he started to force the fleshlight onto his dick. It was velvety smooth as it took in Apple Brandy's dick, but it was a tight fit-too tight for Brandy as Elusive had to slowly force him inside. "I-it's tight," Brandy grunted.

"Well of course it's tight, darling. It wouldn't be a very good pussy if it was loose." Elusive tried to force the artificial pussy down as he ginned, "but I suppose we could use some lube." He pressed a switch on the side of the sex toy as Apple Brandy could feel a moist fluid start to excrete from the velvety interior. Apple Brandy shivered as the lube covered his cock, Elusive being able to rub the sex toy up and down Apple Brandy's cock much easier. "Oh, this feels much better on my end. How about you?"

"A-a lot better." Apple Brandy moaned out as Elusive stroked him through the toy. Elusive moved slowly, Apple Brandy couldn't help but mew with pleasure.

"Oh my, it sounds like you're getting into this." Elusive teased, Apple Brandy snapping back to reality as he glared. "Does the velvet feel nice and soft as it gently strokes your cock?"

"Y-yes." Apple Brandy answered, blushing as he felt compelled to answer, "it feels smoother then butter."

Elusive giggled, "that's nice to hear." Elusive started to pick up his pace as he asked, "now then, be sure to let me know if you're getting uncomfortable if I speed up." Elusive started to pump Apple Brandy's cock at a faster rate. The sloshing of lube filled the air as it began to drip from the toy and down onto Apple Brandy's balls as he moaned.

"N-no, it feels good." Apple Brandy answered.

"Good, good." Elsuive nodded, twisting the thing around before coming to another button. "Now then, Brandy Dear, this velvet is made with a special mix of my own design, acting as a type of memory foam." As he spoke, the toy's interior started to clamp down around Apple Brandy's cock as Elsuive continued to stroke. The lubricant continued to squeak as Apple Brandy grunted. "Oh my, it's not too tight, is it?"

"N-no." Apple Brandy began to pant, "i-it feels amazin'. I-it feels like it's wrappin' around my cock." Apple Brandy bit down on his lower lip. Instinctual, he started to buck his hips into the velvety toy, but he then felt the fleshlight stop as Elusive used his magic to force Apple Brandy to sit back down and stop.

"Now, now, darling, this isn't for pleasure." Elusive giggled, "well, at least, not just for pleasure. We still have a few more functions to test." Apple Brandy grit his teeth, he could believe how he lost control of himself in that moment of weakness, but it didn't help how Elusive continued to stroke his cock with the toy. Before he could get any more words out, he gave a hot gasp as his cock was fully taken out of the toy. His cock was trembling, lubricant dripping down his cock as it mixed with his oozing precum.

"Hmm, the memory foam seems to be working well." Elusive mused as he inspected the toy's interior. "Tell me, Apple Brandy, how does it overall feel."

"G-good."

"Good? That's it?" Elusive huffed, "come on, Apple Brandy, I need you to be descriptive." Apple Brandy clenched his teeth, he felt ready to chew diamonds with how hard he was clenching. He was just over the edge, he just needed someone to blow on his dick and he'd cum. But he forced himself to regain his composure as he tried to focus.

"Y-yer fleshlight f-felt too tight in the beginnin', like it was trying to constrict mah dick, but the lubricant got it and the insides nice and wet. It felt smooth inside, but once I was able to get inside, I could properly feel how smooth and soft. When it tightened up again, it was like it molded around mah cock and was just tight enough and with enough flack to not encumber da experience."

"Ooh, 'encomber'. That's good, I should use that in the marketing." Elusive smiled, patting Apple Brandy's thigh. "Good job, Apple Brandy. Now, there's just one more feature to test." Elusive started to push Brandy's dick back into the velvety fleshlight, shocks of pleasure going up his spine as the artificial pussy took in his cock much easier, clamping back down with a gentle vice. "Ooh, felt good putting it back on?"

Apple Brandy gave a meek nod, being actually pushed to mere panting as he felt the toy take in his stalionhood, with sweat trickling down the is neck.

Elusive gave another chuckle, "I'll be sure to keep that in mind when I market this." He gave a quick stroke as Apple Brandy gave another hot gasp of breath. "But now, it's time for the final feature and for you to be properly rewarded." Elusive moved his thumb around the toy's shaft before flipping a switch. The click was audible and soon, the toy started to vibrate around Brandy's cock.

Apple Brandy couldn't help but give another moan, louder then the rest as the pussy vibrated, it's low hum not able to drown him out as Apple Brandy was at the toy's mercy.

"So, tell me, Apple Brandy? Does this feel good?"

"Yes! Yes! Sweet Celestia, yes!" Apple Brandy shouted. He tried to thrust, but Elusive kept him firmly in place. "It feels like mah entire cock is bein' stimulated all at o-once! F-fuck!"

"Oh my, Brandy. Such language." Elusive teased, "starting to get close?"

"G-gonna...gonna cum!"

"Oh? Well, let me help you with that." Elusive started to stroke Brandy with the vibrating pussy, Apple Brandy being reduced to a symphony of moans. With a loud groan through grit teeth, Apple Brandy had hit his climax, filling the toy up with his cum as some of it began to trickle down, spilling onto the chair beneath him.

When he finally finished shooting his load into the toy, Elusive finally pulled his fleshlight off of Apple Brandy's cock, quickly turning it so the remaining cum didn't splash out onto his floor. "Oh my, darling. You really must have been pent up before hand." Apple Brandy was left panting as Elusive mused, "it seems this special velvet blend is doing a poor job at absorbing cum, but I'm sure this special smooth material will make up for it."

"S-sorry for the mess." Apple Brandy mumbled as Elusive levitated him a most towel.

"Oh, don't you dwell on that, darling. I knew at some point I'd be cleaning up cum when I started this venture." Elusive watched Apple Brandy clean himself as he started to levitate his pants and bloomers, hanging them on the arm's rest. "You just focus on cleaning yourself up."

Once Elusive put the fleshlight down, he got to work on putting his shirt back on. Once his vest was on, too, Apple Brandy had managed to pull his jeans back on.

"Well, I'd better get back to da farm. Make sure Applebloom's alight." Apple Brandy headed for the door.

"You do that." Elusive chuckled, "I'm sure Sweetie Belle's on her way back any minute. I'd better get this mess cleaned."

Apple Brandy stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder. He said, "ya better keep up yer end of this deal, Elusive."

"Oh come now, Brandy, I gave you my word. I would never go back on an agreement." Elusive assured. Apple Brandy gave him a look over before giving a nod and headed out. Once he was gone and started to take a few steps away, Elusive took a glance at the messy toy. He picked it up and started to muse to himself.

"..." Elusive took a finger and scraped it up against the toy's interior before gliding his cum-covered finger onto his tongue. "Hmm...oh my, he does taste like apples!"