Author's Note

WARNING: This Chapter Contains Self-Harm/Suicidal Themes. Also lots of booze.

Valentine's Day Special (Rarity Pt. 1)

"Anonymous." 'Her' voice came ringing through the air. Nodding slightly and picking up the sweating bottle you bring it to your face.

"Rarity." you croak out hoarsely before taking a long pull from the cool rum.

"I... I came by to drop off your Hearths warming presents." Her voice started sternly but dropped low and quiet while mentioning Hearths warming.

"Yeah? Put em underneath the tree while I put the kettle on." You rise from the Piano bench and she nods to you levitating a few packages out of her saddle bags as you move into the kitchen. You hear the tell tail sounds of clip clopping as you set the kettle on the still warmish hot plate. Your uneaten omelette sitting on the table cooled to room temperature already in the slightly chilly kitchen. You notice that rarity's beanie still perched on her head.

"Sorry bout the cold. Just re-lit the hearth half an hour ago." You say sitting and plucking the toast from the plate.

"Dear, How much have you drank today? Now don't look at me like that." She said giving you a womanly look. "Its hardly noon and it smells like you haven't showered yet."

"Just woke up half n hour ago." You say rubbing your cold face with a sleeve. "I had a long night last night. This is just hair o the dog." You meant to say it with a bit of enthusiasm but it sounded more like resignation. The grimace on her face let you know just how well that sounded. "eh, I'm fine Rare. I only had a few swigs to help the headache." This time you sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself. But she smiled weakly. Her horn lit and your food warmed up instantly, the steam rising gently from the plate in the cool air.

"Now eat up, The reheating spell doesn't work as well the second time around" She had barely finished the sentence when you shoveled a large fork full of eggs and a bit of toast had met your awaiting maw. Breakfast went by quickly as you didn't realize just how hungry you were. Feeling full you let out a small belch and Rarity's scowl was ignored as you picked up your plate.

"Shoo, Let me do the dishes so you can shower. You positively reek." Your cheeks blush slightly as you let her take your plate and you sneak the bottle into your off hand that she couldn't see. Going down the hallway you reach your bathroom. The tiles freezing your clothed feet. Turning the hot water on the tub first you start to plug the bath before you realize that you shouldn't keep Rarity alone too long in your living room. Pulling the tab you see the water cascade down the far wall. Pulling the curtain closed you hear the door open behind you.

"Dear, are you decent?" Her soft voice echo'd slightly in the confined space muffled by the water hitting the tub.

"Yeah I haven't stripped yet." You reply before pulling your shirt back over your head. You hear the door open fully as you pull your shirt over your scarred belly facing away from her.

"I didn't see the... Ah there it is." The sound of her magic tinkled and your bottle of rum lifted into the air. Instinctively grabbed it out of the air, Rarity's magic sputtering to a stop.

"You can take it after I have one more." Your voice sounded a bit harsh and you hear a single clop as she stepped on one back leg back before she replied.

"Alright. But please anon. If not for your sake for mine. I can't bare to see you turning to a bottle instead of a friend." Her reply stung and made something in you snap.

"What friends." Your voice was icy. You didn't mean it like that. It just came out.

"Anon... Please." Rarity voice sounded hurt.

Slowly you put the bottle to your lips and took two large gulps before putting it back on the counter. "Take it." You replied while sticking a hand in the hot water. It almost scaled your hand but the pain felt nice. Numbed from the liquor you turned. "Go on since I stink so bad." You hated the words coming out of your mouth.

She turned and levitated the bottle out the room and trotted out. You watched her flank sway for just a moment before you kicked the door shut and ripped your shirt off and pulled off the bloody bandages. Taking a look at the burnt skin on your chest you tenderly touched the wound. Right above your left peck you had burned yourself. The semi burnt log burned more of you than you wanted but the pain felt nice. Pushing a finger into the burn't flesh you gasped. "Fuck" you moaned as your body was covered in the hot water.

Lathering up with soap you clean your body leaving only water to rinse your burnt flesh. Pulling out the cream you've kept stock piled for these darkest times. Lathering your hands you gently spread the cream all over your scarred body before rinsing your hands and washing your shoulder length hair. You couldn't be bothered to cut it. Not since you arrived here. Rinsing everything out and off you get out and shave the stubble from the previous few days.

Leaving the bathroom feeling much better you forgot Rarity was here and as you turned the corner to your bedroom she dropped all the empty Apple Family Spiced Rum TM bottles to the floor with a clang. Luckily none of them broke and you frowned. Then comprehension dawned on you. You were only in the towel from the waist down. Looking down at the scarred chest and long horizontal scars across you stomach you pushed past Rarity. You slammed your door before she could react she still seemed to be in the hall. Then you heard it. What you feared to hear the most.

Crying.
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Hours had passed and you never hear the front door open. You heard shuffling every once in a while but mostly it was just muffled crying. The now empty bottle of Apple Family Spiced RumTM sat on the floor. You had two more in the closet but you were waiting to for Rarity to leave. You were getting hungry and felt pretty buzzed but that didn't make you feel better like it usually did. Or like you convinced yourself it did.

Finally the door opened and you heard another pair of hooves clop in. Sighing you got yourself to your feet and stepped forwards to the door. Grunting slightly you pulled the door open harder than you needed too and you moved to the living room. Rainbow Dash was there hovering slightly and she looked at you smiling. "Whats up Bro? You wanna hit up the bars?" She looked at Rarity sleeping on your couch before looking back and smirking. "That is if you're done buc... Wait why doesn't it smell like... You guys didn't? Then whats she doing here so late?"

Late? You looked confused. You could have sworn it was late afternoon but looking at the window you saw that night had fallen. "And why is her make up all smeared? It looks like she was crying... Whats going on Anon?" The last part sounded much more like a statement than a question. She wasn't going to let it be till you told her. Nodding to the kitchen you enter it and pull out another bottle of Rum and two tumblers. Pouring yourself and Rainbow a generous amount you recap it and sigh.

"She saw my scar's." You said. Your voice hallow. Only Rainbow and Applejack knew about them. You had told them each in confidence but never showed them. They understood that you had no intention to kill yourself after a pinkie promise but nevertheless they decided to check up on you when you went dark for a few days. They might be your best friends but you feel like its a hallow friendship. Like they don't want to be your friends but are forced too.

Nodding she took a gulp and looked at you. "Did you tell her or did you shut her out like you did us." She said with a sternness in her voice. You knew she would be like this. They always pressed you to tell the other "Friends" you had about your problem so they could all help you but you didn't need help. You were surviving just fine and the freak already had body marks. Tattoo's and Piercings. Whats a few scars to add to the mystique.

"I... It's not my fault she saw them. I don't care if she wants to be my friend after this she can hate me like everyone else." You say firmly taking another pull from your now half empty glass. "Besides I don't think she eve-" You never got to finish what you were going to say before you heard the clip clop of hooves against the wooden floor. You knew Rarity was awake.

Coming around the corner you saw the Beautiful mare come into the room her make up runny. She looked at you and in her eyes you saw stronger emotion than you had ever seen on her face. Recognition followed by anger, and then by utter sadness. Despair you could say as her voice rung through the now silent kitchen. "Why Anon?" Her voice was full of pain.

You couldn't speak you just frowned.

"Alright its time for everyone to go." You stood and pushed Rainbow out of her chair. "Out. I need time. You can come back tomorrow. Just leave." You heard protests from Rainbow and Rarity as they were pushed out the front door. "I don't care Ill talk tomorrow. Just go." Looking at Rarity she got up on her hind legs and only reached your chest with the tip of her horn her legs locked on your torso.

"So help me I will blow your house to pieces if I have too tomorrow. You be ready when we get here or the scars you have will look like scrapes when I'm done. You get one day." Her voice was final and her eyes were full of anger again. Then something you didn't expect happened. Magic engulfed your head and it was pulled down. Then she kissed you.

She kissed you hard. There was no opening of the mouths but you felt the fire in it. Then a crack and they were both gone. You stumbled over and hit your face on the front of your porch.