The rumble of an old, diesel engine broke the early morning quiet of the docks district on the east side of Canterlot.
Muscling the venerable beast into position near warehouse block forty-one, Gilda cursed the machine’s lack of power steering. This thing may have been approximately the same age as the liquified reptiles that were powering it but neither she nor Sunset, nor any of their friends, owned a vehicle capable of moving much more bulk than a pair of messenger bags; so needs must.
Shifting it into park and kicking the creaky old door open, Gilda stepped out and stretched.
Admittedly, things weren't off to a great start; Gilda's arms already ached from the old beater's lack of power steering and it wasn’t even nine in the morning yet so she had yet to move even a single box of her girlfriend’s stuff. Add to that it was hot as Tartarus, the hottest August on record for the city, and already climbing past the eighties and into the ninety degree range with the forecast threatening a searing hundred and two by midday, and things were not looking fantastic.
Pulling down and straightening her tank top that was already starting to stick to her dark skin via the sheen of sweat she was building up, Gilda ran her hands through her short, shaggy, and sweat-matted white hair. Hissing as she worked out some of the knots, Gilda still found herself thanking fortune that she’d shaved the back and sides a week ago, before shoving the truck’s keys into her cargo shorts and kicking the door shut.
Her boss, a friendly and upbeat Marexican man by the name of Crankshaft who owned the auto garage in the Ponyville Commons along with his brother Gear Shift, had lent her the old beater they had affectionately named La Carcacha, and originally Gilda had wanted to be gentle with it. She hated the idea of messing up her boss’ ride, after all.
That instinct lasted about as long as it took to muscle the door open which didn’t properly open, close, or lock anymore. What it did do was jam the instant it was fully close. Likewise, driving the old monster had less in common with piloting a vehicle and more with wrestling a comatose Kodiak.
“At least it ain’t gonna be stolen,” Gilda grumbled as she walked away from Carcacha and around the corner to the alley between block forty-one and forty-two.
Zig-zagging three stories up the squat, patchy-grey block of concrete that made up the abandoned warehouse wall was a rickety old fire escape made up of rusted metal that looked like it was just barely clinging to both the wall and life in general, and even that was only by a few stubborn rivets that were probably less secured and more just ‘stuck’.
“This place is a fuckin’ death trap,” Gilda groaned as she stared up at the doorway on the third level.
“Hey babe!” Gilda shouted, “you awake?!”
A few minutes passed before the door swung open and a messy head of red hair popped out and smiled.
“Hey Gil, yeah, just finishing packing the small stuff,” Sunset called down. “You got the truck?”
“Yeah, Crank and Gear were cool about it,” Gilda shouted back as she began making her way unsteadily up the stairs. “The thing barely runs though, savvy?”
“Hey, so long as it moves my crap I’m good with it,” Sunset replied with a laugh as she withdrew back into her makeshift flat.
Gilda sighed as she ascended the steps, wiping sweat from her brow and cursing her lack of foresight at not bringing any kind of water bottle.
“Can’t believe I let’er live here this whole goddamn time,” Gilda mumbled as the stairs groaned under her. “This thing coulda dropped n’killed her and I’da never known til…” Gilda suppressed a shudder.
It had only been a few months ago that Gilda had discovered her girlfriend’s true living conditions and she’d been livid, though more about Sunset's dishonesty. It had still been one of their bigger fights. Sunset had been, and technically still was, adamant that she was fine and didn’t need any help, that she was perfectly self-sufficient, had all of her needs taken care of, and that she didn’t need to burden anyone with taking care of her.
Gilda, on the other hand, had refused to accept Sunset living like she had been any longer, point blank. It hadn’t so much been an argument, honestly, as it had been them yelling at each other with Gilda intermittently getting frustrated to the point of being unable to speak (or at least not trusting herself to) and just pleading with Sunset to see reason.
Pushing the door open, Gilda sighed in relief as she realised it was significantly cooler inside the flat, though mostly by dint of it being unlit and blocking out most of the sunlight. Objectively it was still warm but Gilda was willing to take what she could get.
“Hey baby,” Sunset greeted Gilda with a smile and glass of water that Gilda took gratefully, sipping at the ice cold liquid.
One of the few things that made the place liveable was due to, most likely, a clerical error that had kept it connected to running water. The blind leviathan of bureaucracy had failed to notice the small drain on its resources that was the faucet in the warehouse manager’s bathroom which had seen use by Sunset for the past four years. It was unheated, hence the icy chill of the water, but that wasn’t a problem in summer.
Winter, on the other hand, was a real bitch.
Setting the glass aside, Gilda moved forward and wrapped her arms around Sunset’s middle and pulled her close, nuzzling her nose playfully. Sunset laughed as Gilda’s hands trailed along Sunset’s back, playing at the bare midriff revealed by the slightly-too-small cotton shirt Sunset was wearing and down to her shorts-clad hips.
“Down girl,” Sunset chided, grinning as she playfully smacked Gilda’s hand away, and Gilda growled softly in the back of her throat.
“Can’t blame me f’tryin’, Sunshine,” Gilda snarked as she swept her hand up to brush some of Sunset’s fiery red hair from her face. “Guess startin’ somethin’ now’d be a bad idea, though, huh?”
“Mm, yeah, definitely later, though” Sunset added as she leaned up to peck Gilda on the lips.
It was a tiny point of vanity, one of Gilda’s very few, but Gilda loved being so much bigger than Sunset. The redhead stood only about five foot and two inches, while Gilda crested six and three. Gilda towered over Sunset, and it wasn't even that Sunset wasn’t toned or fit, but just the difference between their frame and musculature that meant Gilda could easily pick Sunset up in one arm.
Something that came in very hand on occasion.
Scanning the room, Gilda noted how little there really was to take. The two mattresses that were stacked on top of one another laying in the corner had clearly seen much better days. The bottom one looked like it was little more than a mass of fabric and metal, while the one on top was barely holding together. A worn out sleeping bag was draped over the top mattress while a second, better kept and cleaner, sleeping bag was sitting, rumpled from recent use, on top of the first.
A couch that, actually, didn’t look too bad was sitting in the middle of the room on a rug that looked to be more dirt and dust than thread, with several blankets scattered over it and a stack of books on the floor beside it.
How Sunset even got the couch up to this room was a mystery for another time.
“Alright, so what’re we taking?” Gilda asked, cracking her knuckles. She already noted the couple of duffel bags near the door, surely there couldn’t be that much more.
“Well, I’ve already got most of the small stuff packed up here,” Sunset walked over and knelt by the bags and nudged them. “They’re pretty heavy but they shouldn’t be an issue.”
“That it?” Gilda asked, hoping but not expecting that to be the case.
Sure enough, Sunset laughed and shook her head. “C’mon babe,” she gestured around. “We’re taking the blankets and the decent sleeping bag once I get it aired out and rolled up. I’ve got some dishes and other kitchen stuff too since, uh, no offense hon but your kitchen is kinda sparse.”
“Hey, it’s perfectly fine for one person,” Gilda shot back with a smirk. “But, yeah, if we’re gonna be living together we’ll need more, easier than buyin’em with money we don’t have, savvy?”
“Heh, yeah,” Sunset agreed. “I’ve got most of those wrapped in newspaper and boxed up too so we can take those down after the bags.”
As Sunset gestured around the apartment, working out the logistics, Gilda just leaned against the wall and listened, smiling as her girlfriend dusted herself off and shook her hair from her face. She hadn’t showered yet, Gilda could tell, her hair had ends sticking out from sleep that Sunset had tried and failed to tame. There wasn’t much point in showering anyway until they were done, given how sweaty and dirty they were about to get moving all of Sunny’s stuff. Gilda never said it out loud but she liked seeing her girlfriend all disheveled; with her smudged face and tangled hair all out of place.
It was cute, even if Gilda knew for a fact how much Sunset hated being a mess.
Finally reaching a point of annoyance from which there was no return, Sunset huffed angrily and stopped to reach up and around her hair to start tying it off into an unkempt ponytail but it kept slipping free as snarls and knots slipped out.
“Here, babe,” Gilda said, laughing a little and stepping up behind her. “Lemme do it.”
Tucking the hair tie into her mouth, Gilda gathered up Sunset’s hair carefully, running her hands through the red and gold locks to tease out the knots and snarls that were causing Sunset so much trouble. With a kind of care and precision that was belied by her broad, muscular frame and intimidating appearance, Gilda gently tugged and tucked Sunset’s hair until it was in a neat tail before pulling the tie from her mouth and securing it.
Sunset ran a hand through the ponytail and rolled her shoulders.
“Thanks babe,” Sunset said, turning to look up at Gilda just in time to witness Gilda dart down and fix her teeth on Sunset’s neck playfully, sending Sunset’s knees buckling as a high-pitched ‘eep’ escaped her lips.
“Gilda~!” Sunset moaned, smacking Gilda on the leg as Gilda pulled away from her now flushed and bothered girlfriend. “I said later,” Sunset admonished, turning to face Gilda and massaging the sensitive spot Gilda had attacked, “not ‘whenever you next detect weakness’, damn it.”
Gilda shrugged playfully. “Couldn’t help it.”
“Bullshit, Gil,” Sunset shot back in a deadpan voice.
“Nah, I mean it,” Gilda promised, holding up a hand in mock oath as she dropped onto the creaky, makeshift mattress bed. “Y’crazy horse goddess as my witness, I really couldn’t help it.”
“I’d call you out for blasphemy but I’m pretty sure Princess Celestia would find that hilarious,” Sunset remarked dryly, shaking her head.
“Yeah well, ain’t my fault ya smell so good,” Gilda replied with a cocksure grin.
Sunset barked out a harsh laugh, before screwing up her face in playful disgust.
“Ew! Babe, I haven’t even showered!” Sunset groaned as she walked over to Gilda, one fist on her hip as she gestured to all of herself. “And I’ve been packing all morning, too! I’m all sweaty and disgusting!”
Gilda grinned as she pulled herself up to her full height, sweeping up Sunset in her arms as she rose. Sunset let out a high-pitched shrieking laugh as Gilda pressed her face into the crook of Sunset’s shoulder and took a deep breath.
“Sto~p!” Sunset cried, slapping and kicking at Gilda playfully. “You’re gross!”
“Ever think maybe y’just that sexy?” Gilda whispered against Sunset’s neck and ear, making Sunset shudder slightly at Gilda’s breath.
Gilda looped her arms around Sunset in a more stable grip and kissed up Sunset’s neck to her earlobe where she nipped softly with her canine, earning a groan from her girlfriend. Slowly, Gilda turned and dropped Sunset onto the bed, following her down and settling her hands on either side of Sunset as Gilda stared down at her with a wide smile.
Sunset smiled shyly up at Gilda, reaching up to trace her amber fingers along the smooth, dark skin of Gilda’s face.
Gilda had a lot of features that Sunset found extremely attractive; her slightly too-sharp teeth, her naturally white hair, her gorgeous dark skin that almost shone in the sunlight, and definitely her powerful body, but… no, it was Gilda’s eyes that Sunset loved best.
Those hawkish golden orbs that made Sunset feel just a little bit like prey under the gaze of a predator.
She wasn’t an idiot, Sunset knew full well how attractive she was. Enough so that plenty of guys and girls alike stole glances at her when she was out, and she hardly minded the attention. When other people looked at her, when they couldn’t help it, Sunset felt pretty, beautiful even if she was feeling daring.
But when Gilda looked at her with those brilliant, brazen gold eyes? Sunset didn’t just feel pretty or beautiful… she felt wanted. She felt needed.
When Gilda looked at her Sunset felt like she was air, or water… or food. She wasn’t just pretty or beautiful; she was a necessity of life.
“Hey there pretty lady,” Gilda said softly leaning down to brush her lips teasingly across Sunset’s cheek.
Sunset let her fingers trail into Gilda’s hair and brush along the shorn sides and back as she smiled up at Gilda.
“Hey…” Sunset replied in a soft voice.
Lowering herself further down, Gilda pressed her lips to Sunset’s as Sunset locked her arms around Gilda’s back, digging her fingers in and letting her nails trace down, leaving red lines of pressure through the thin fabric of the stained tank top.
Pulling away, Gilda traced her tongue over her lips and smiled.
“Is it later yet, Sunflower?” Gilda asked.
“Mm… I really wish it was, Gil,” Sunset groaned. “You’re really not making this easier.”
Chuckling, Gilda flopped over onto the bed beside Sunset and pulled Sunset over until she was half draped over Gilda. Humming contentedly, Sunset nestled into Gilda’s embrace as Gilda idly let her fingers trail up and down Sunset’s spine.
“I love you so much, Gil,” Sunset mumbled, taking a deep, calming breath and relaxing against her girlfriend.
“Love you too, Sunshine,” Gilda said, smiling as she closed her eyes.
“We should really get back to work,” Sunset said, yawning slightly as she did so.
“Meh,” Gilda grunted. “It’s so friggin’ hot, though.”
“S’not gettin’ any cooler, babe,” Sunset retorted.
“It will if we sleep until nighttime,” Gilda responded with a small laugh.
Pushing herself up from where she was laying Sunset crossed her arms over Gilda’s torso and propped herself up so she was staring down at Gilda.
“I’d really rather not be moving my stuff in the middle of the night, babe,” Sunset said, shaking her head. “Besides, you’re the one who called this place the ‘murder-hobo capital of Canterlot’, y’know? That’s the whole reason I’m moving.”
Bringing her hand up to caress Sunset’s cheek, a motion that Sunset leaned into warmly, Gilda chuckled a little. “I thought it was because I finally just told ya that I wanted us t’live together.”
Sunset frowned as she slumped into her own crossed arms.
“I still feel like you just said that to make me agree with you,” Sunset mumbled from her arms.
“Babe, c’mon,” Gilda said, her brow furrowing as she propped herself up on her elbows. “Y’really think I don’t wanna live you? We’ve been together for like, a year now, savvy? It ain’t that weird.”
“Ten months-ish, and I… I know,” Sunset replied, looking off to the side, or really anywhere but Gilda. One downside of Gilda’s eyes was how intense her gaze was. It made it hard for Sunset to think straight. “I just… I feel like a major hassle is all, y’know? Like, I’m kind of a slob in person… and I’ve got all these little neuroses and quirks and-”
“And I wanna be there for it, Sunshine,” Gilda said, cutting Sunset off as she sat up and pulled Sunset into her lap. “Believe me I know we ain’t perfect, no one is, savvy? We’re gonna have some shit to get around when we start livin’ together but it ain’t like it’s some huge, impossible wall.”
Sunset leaned against Gilda and sighed, nodding. “Yeah… I know, I just… it feels like a huge step and I’m scared, okay? Like, what if I screw up? What if I do something or… say something, and you and I-?”
Two dark fingers rose up to Sunset’s chin and guided her into a gentle a kiss as Gilda pulled her a little closer. Pulling away, Gilda smiled, not the cocky, slightly crooked smile she usually wore but a warm, gentle one that almost seemed to transform her face. It was a smile she only wore for Sunset.
“C’mon, Sunshine,” Gilda said, her voice hiding a small laugh. “Don’t ya trust me?”
“Of course I trust you, Gil,” Sunset said, her eyes widening at the question as she draped her arms over Gilda’s shoulders. “You were like, my first real friend after the Fall Formal.”
“Y’had the other five before ya ever ran into me, babe,” Gilda corrected.
Sunset shrugged. “I mean, yeah… we’re good friends now, but… I dunno, right after the Formal things weren’t going so hot. I think I was more of a chore to them than a friend, y’know?”
Gilda scowled as Sunset made her admission. “A chore? Who the fuck’d-?”
“Language, babe.”
“Whomst’d the fuck,” Gilda enunciated sarcastically, “would ever think’a you as a chore, Sunshine?”
“Well, I did basically make their whole lives miserable for like two and half years,” Sunset replied dryly. “Oh, and there was that thing where I tried to kill them with a fireball after I went crazy and turned into a demon, y’know? Can’t really blame’em.”
“Pff, they were askin’ for it,” Gilda replied. “Shoulda just gone along with the mind control plan, I think you woulda made a bitchin’ evil overlord.”
“Thanks, babe, you say the sweetest things,” Sunset said, rolling her eyes and laughing before leaning to nuzzle Gilda’s cheek. “Anyway… I only ran into you because I was tired of dealing with their sideways glances and jabs, like, I get that they were joking but it was a sore subject, y’know? Whatever, best decision of my life as far as I’m concerned.”
“So that’s why you were behind the school that day, huh?” Gilda asked. “Why didn’tcha ever tell me?”
Sunset leaned back and laughed. “Really? C’mon Gil, even as friends you were super protective of me,” Sunset bopped Gilda’s nose. “If I’d have told you I felt like I was getting picked on you woulda been on the warpath in like, ten seconds flat.”
“I mean… not ten seconds,” Gilda grumbled. “I’d probably finish my cigarette first.”
“Uh, do you remember the Spring Fling?” Sunset said. “We were standing outside smoking, someone walked by and cracked a ‘demon’ joke, and you did… what?”
“I don’t remember,” Gilda grunted, looking away.
“Bull,” Sunset laughed, giving Gilda a gentle push. “Tell me what you did.”
Gilda flicked her eyes to the side and grumbled before answering. “I… threw my cigarette at him…”
“And…?”
“Chased him down the street.”
“In your dress,” Sunset finished, smiling.
“Not fair, though,” Gilda shot back. “We were already dating then.”
“I really don’t think it made you any worse about that stuff, Gil,” Sunset remarked. “Even before we started dating you acted like a surly guard dog sometimes.”
“I hated seein’ people pickin’ on you,” Gilda grumbled. “I ain’t shy ‘bout lettin’ people know it either.”
Sunset leaned against Gilda, resting against her shoulder and chest as she breathed in the faint scent of leather, cigarette smoke, and engine oil that perpetually hung around her girlfriend.
“I know, and I love you for it,” Sunset said softly. “I never have to wonder what you think of me, or if you’re upset with me, or if you’re hiding some kind of… resentment, y’know? You don’t bottle that stuff up like I do, you just say it.”
“Gets me a lotta detentions, too, Sunflower,” Gilda replied with a dry laugh.
“Also got you me,” Sunset countered.
“Heh, yeah, guess so,” Gilda said quietly, petting Sunset’s shoulder in slow, even strokes.
Sunset took a deep breath as she sat up on Gilda’s lap and stretched yawning widely and smacking her lips as she looked around her little warehouse-cum-flat and groaned.
“Alright babe, enough gay shit,” Sunset chuckled as she hopped off Gilda’s lap, much to Gilda’s displeasure. “We really do have to get back to work.”
“Ugh, that sounds a lot harder than just sitting here and cuddling,” Gilda groaned as she stood up.
Sunset laughed as she started moving some of the boxes from the little break room area of the office she had converted into a kitchen into the living room.
“Not a single person at school would ever believe me if I told them what a cuddlebug you really are behind closed doors, Gil,” Sunset remarked as she set the box down.
“I’d deny it t’my grave, Sunshine,” Gilda replied as she started moving some of the large bags and boxes towards the door, propping it open with one of the duffel bags and setting the other beside it.
“Bullshit,” Sunset called again as she walked back in the kitchen. “You’d own it, then cuddle me in the middle of the lunchroom and dare anyone to say something about it.”
“Eh, fair enough.”
“So now the real question is how we get the couch out of here,” Sunset said as she walked back into the living room and set down the last box of dishes. “It isn’t going back down the way I got it up.”
“Wait, seriously?” Gilda asked, her eyebrow crooking upward. “Y’jokin’ right? There’s no way we’re gettin’ that thing outta here!”
“I don’t want to leave it!” Sunset said frowning. “I’ve pretty much lived on this couch for four years. All my homework, all my planning was done from there, and I read all of my favorite books on that couch! I'm not just dumping it!"
“Where would we even put it?!” Gilda gestured to the wide, three-seater couch. “My flat just ain’t that big, Sunshine.”
“Well, we could replace your couch,” Sunset said sheepishly. “I mean, it’s probably as used as mine is and it’s honestly a lot more lumpy.”
Gilda shook her head. “Ain’t denyin’ that, Sunflower, but my ‘couch’ is a loveseat, this thing’s like, half again as big!”
“I’m not leaving my couch behind, Gil!” Sunset put her foot down, scowling. “I’m basically binning everything else in this place that isn’t boxed, but I don’t want to leave my couch!”
“We’re not takin’ your friggin’ security-blanket couch, Sunshine,” Gilda repeated. “Even if we could get it into my place, which we can’t, there ain’t no way we’re gettin’ it down those rickey-ass stairs!” Gilda pointed out the door.
“It’s not a security blanket!” Sunset snapped stepping forward and glaring up at Gilda. “It’s just… I want to keep it! I have a lot of good memories on that couch, and since most of my memories of this stupid, magic-null rock are pretty crap, I wanna hold onto it!”
Gilda threw her arms into the air in exasperation. “I get that babe, but it ain’t happenin’, savvy?” Gilda replied with a sigh. “N’matter how much ya wanna keep it there’s nowhere to put it and no way to get it there even if there was.”
“You’re not even willing to try!” Sunset accused, pointing a finger up at Gilda who scowled and knocked Sunset’s hand away from her face.
“I’m not willin’ to do pointless shit!” Gilda snapped back.
“So me trying to keep good memories is ‘shit’ now?!” Sunset snarled. “Why not toss all the presents you’ve given me over the months, too?!”
“Calm down, babe! That ain’t what I meant!” Gilda said, shaking her head, feeling a dull pit of anxiety building in her gut as Sunset scowled at her.
“I am calm,” Sunset growled, eyes narrowing, and Gilda took a step back. “I’m just not willing to leave behind one of the few halfway decent possessions I’ve had in my crapsack life, alright?”
“Y’askin’ me t’do the impossible, Sunshine!”
“Don’t ‘Sunshine’ me, Gil!” Sunset shouted, glaring up at Gilda. “All I’m asking you to do is try!”
At the last word, Sunset shoved Gilda. Not hard, of course, not that it would particularly matter since, although Sunset wasn’t weak Gilda still weighed more than half again as much as the shorter girl even discounting her greater strength.
But as always, anytime Sunset pushed, Gilda gave ground.
Gilda’s heel immediately cracked into something hard in the brace of bags she had just finished setting in front of the door. The impact stopped her backstep far too early as the rest of her continued backwards, throwing her off balance.
“Crap!” Gilda swore, wheeling her arms she stumbled backwards.
Tipping back and staggering, Gilda tried to get her feet under her all while not stepping on the bag as she flailed for the edge of the open door only to miss it badly.
“GILDA!” Sunset's eyes went wide as she screamed and sprinted forward.
Finally losing her footing completely, Gilda pitched back like a falling tree through the door and slammed into the railing of the hot iron grillwork stairwell just outside the flat. Hissing in pain, Gilda rubbed the back of her head where it had struck the hard-edged metal rail and flinched as her hand came away with a faint hint of red.
Sunset stared in horror as Gilda looked down at her slightly bloody hand, blinking in surprise.
“I… I didn’t…” Sunset stammered. “I swear I-”
“S’just a scratch, Sunshine,” Gilda said, shaking her head, then grimacing as pain shot through her head. “Oof, that really rung my bell, though, savvy?”
“C-C’mon, baby,” Sunset said softly, walking towards the open door and pushing the duffel bags out of the way, “let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”
Gilda nodded as she pushed herself up to her feet, starting to stand while blinking away the stars in her eyes.
The stairway groaned hideously at the sudden pressure and rocked back, putting Gilda back on her ass as the metal landing peeled away from the wall of the warehouse with the sound of ripping concrete. The final few rivets and bolts near the top had finally snapped and given way while the ones on the bottom were in little better shape. Gilda felt her heart leap into her throat as she scrabbled for purchase on the wavering surface.
“GIL!” Sunset shrieked, panic stabbing through her like lightning as she leapt to the edge of the door and leaned out as far she dared, her hand outstretched.
Gilda always did have good instincts when she was in danger. Survival instincts honed on the gang-controlled streets of Las Pegasus had kept her alive there when she was growing up and she trusted them. Acting on that instinct, Gilda threw her weight forward, rocking the unstable stairway forward one last time, Gilda rode the momentum, tensed the muscles in her legs, and launched herself forward at the threshold of Sunset’s door.
Bracing her feet on either side of the door frame, Sunset caught and gripped Gilda’s sweat-slick hand hard and leaned back, pulling and leveraging her weight while pushing against the solid strength of her flat’s wall with her feet to heave Gilda into the flat.
The two girls toppled over, and Sunset collapsed backwards as Gilda landed on top of her, both breathing hard, panting as adrenaline pounded through their veins.
For a moment, Gilda and Sunset just laid on the cool concrete and let the terror and panic fade into a dull, stressful throb. The metal stairs outside groaned precariously but seemed to be holding on somewhere near the bottom half.
“I think… that took… ten years… off’a my life,” Gilda panted as she pushed herself up and rolled to the side to sit next to Sunset who was still laying on the ground. “Got my heart runnin’ though… you okay, Sunny?”
Sunset sat up, a distant look in her eyes as she stared out the doorway to the empty air beyond. Curling up, Sunset buried her face in her hands and mumbled something unintelligible as her whole body started to shake.
“S-Sunshine? I didn’t catch that,” Gilda said, feeling worry burn in her chest as she reached out. The moment Gilda's hand touched Sunset the redhead flinched away like she’d been burned. “S-Sunny? Talk t’me…”
“I SAID I ALMOST KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!” Sunset shrieked suddenly, ripping her hands from her face and snapping around to face Gilda, her face twisted into a rictus of pain and fear. “I… I almost… I…”
Gilda’s eyes widened as she looked out at the empty door and then back to Sunset who was shaking, breathing hard, and gripping her sides as she stared forward with tears streaming down her face.
“C’mon, Sunflower, it was an accident,” Gilda said softly moving towards Sunset.
Sunset shook her head violently, sending her ponytail into a wild scatter of hair as she scrabbled away.
“I… I p-pushed you!” Sunset shouted as she sobbed. “A-and I hurt you! You’re bleeding, Gil! I did that to you!”
Frowning, Gilda reached up and ran her hand over the shorn back side of her head and looked down at the small splash of red. Sunset was right, she was bleeding, though not badly, especially not for a head wound; those usually gushed like crazy. They generally weren’t as bad as they looked so by that metric Gilda hadn’t been exaggerating, it really was barely more than a scratch.
Not that explaining that seemed like it would do Sunset any good.
Wiping her hand on her shorts, Gilda grimaced as she stood, wobbling a little at the head rush. Her limbs were still shaky from the adrenaline rush of nearly dropping three stories off a collapsing staircase. As soon as she was on her feet, though, Gilda walked over to Sunset who pushed herself back, scraping her shorts on the concrete floor of her flat as she curled inward, pulling her knees up to bury her face in them.
Sighing, Gilda stopped a few inches from Sunset and knelt down.
“C’mon, Sunshine,” Gilda said softly. “It was an accident, savvy? Y’didn’t mean t’hurt me, and it was me trippin’ over my own fuckin’ feet that put me out the door.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Sunset mumbled. “I hurt you.”
“Y’only moved me ‘cause I letcha,” Gilda said with a dry chuckle. “Y’know that, right?”
Sunset sniffled and nodded, still not looking up as she spoke again. “But that’s the problem, Gil, you always let me.”
“I’m stronger than you, Sunny,” Gilda shot back. “I ain’t gonna fight’cha, savvy? If I did I might really hurt ya.”
“That’s not the point!” Sunset cried, lifting her face finally to glare at Gilda, her eyes puffy and red from crying. “You let me get away with everything! When I push you around, or yell at you, or… or snap at you! You just take it!”
Gilda frowned. It wasn’t that bad; Sunset had a temper, sure, but so did Gilda. They got into fights but it wasn’t like Sunset beat her or anything.
“Babe, c’mon, you’re gettin’ worked up over nothin’,” Gilda said softly, reaching for Sunset who just shook her head.
“I’m not though,” Sunset countered. “I’m a shitty girlfriend! I always do this! I don’t get my way and… and then I stomp like a foal and yell until I do.” Choking back another sob, Sunset wiped her wrists against her face, clearing the tears from her eyes. “And this time I almost killed you, Gil! It doesn’t matter if it was an accident! What if next time it actually does hurt you?”
Smiled crookedly, Gilda laughed. “C’mon babe, I’m not that fragile.”
“Oh yeah?!” Sunset snapped. “What if next time I push you, you fall over and crack your head on a table corner? Or a door knob? What if you fall on something sharp? I hurt you, Gil!”
Silence reigned over the small flat as Gilda’s face fell and she looked pensive. Glancing back at the empty door, Gilda couldn’t deny that Sunset had a point, as she usually did. It was an accident, sure, Sunset hadn’t meant to hurt her and she certainly hadn’t meant to push Gilda over but…
That was still how it had happened.
Meaning it could happen again.
“You always let me get away with whatever I want,” Sunset said quietly, burying her face in knees again. “I’m still a bad person, Gil… even if I’m trying to be better I’m… I’m still just a bully who can’t stand not getting her way.”
“I guess… I guess y’got a point,” Gilda replied in a low voice as she stood up and dusted herself off. “Y’got a shitload a bad habits, Sunshine.”
“You should go, Gil,” Sunset said, sniffling. “I don’t… I don’t think us moving in is gonna work out if this is how we are when we’re just trying to move a few boxes.”
Gilda stared down at Sunset for several moments before turning to look around at the messy flat. The duffel bags were scattered, one of them was open and half spilled, the boxes were mercifully further away and hadn’t been damaged in the little storm of chaos.
“I’m not healthy, Gil,” Sunset continued in a quiet voice. “I… I dunno if it’s just how I grew up or just from being a rancid bitch for so many years but… I’m not good for you. I don’t know if I’m good for anyone.”
Grimacing, Gilda put a hand over her face as she pushed her temper down. She wanted to yell, it was her ‘go to’ for pretty much everything that she couldn’t just punch into submission. This was Sunset though, Gilda knew she couldn’t do either.
In their first fight Gilda had raised her voice the same way she always did, and she had an awfully loud voice when she wanted to. A thundering, window rattling voice that had put Sunset back several steps then down onto her ass shaking.
Gilda still felt a cold spike of shame when she remembered that moment.
That moment and the fear that it would happen again was why she’d started talking to Vice Principal Luna, who also served as the school counselor, about her anger problems. She wanted to be better for…
Gilda shook her head. “I’m a fuckin’ idiot…”
Walking over to Sunset, Gilda plopped down beside her and sighed. “Yeah, I mean… maybe y’not wrong, babe,” Gilda started, and Sunset sobbed softly in response. “But I ain’t gonna do it… leave, I mean, I ain’t goin’ anywhere, savvy?”
“I want you to leave, Gil,” Sunset murmured. “I don’t want to be the abusive girlfriend, okay? But that’s what I am.”
“Yeah, a little, I guess,” Gilda agreed and Sunset flinched, sobbing a little louder. “Y’said you don’t wanna be, though, right?”
Looking up, Sunset glared at Gilda again through tear-stained eyes.
“No I don’t fucking want to be!” Sunset hissed. “I don’t want to be a wife-beater, or a goddamn abuser! I want to be healthy… I want to be good! I want to be good for… for…”
“For me, yeah?” Gilda asked. “Y’wanna be better f’me?”
Sunset sniffled and nodded. Gilda shuffled over and laid an arm over Sunset’s shoulders and pulled her close. After a moment of resistance, Sunset gave in and curled up into the familiar warmth and safety of Gilda’s embrace.
“Y’said you want me t’go,” Gilda started, gently stroking Sunset’s arm. “But I ain’t gonna ‘cause it ain’t gonna do you any good, Sunshine.” Sunset hiccuped and nodded. “I know you, if I leave now y’gonna just wallow and sulk and hate yourself, and besides, I don’t wanna leave.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Gil,” Sunset whispered. “I love you so much… I can’t live with being the one that hurts you…”
Yeah, savvy,” Gilda agreed, “and I don’t wanna be in that kinda thing either, but… I wanna be with you. And s’not like y’aint been good for me, y’know?”
“You’re perfect, Gil,” Sunset said quietly. “You take everything I dish out, you calm me down when I get worked up, you hold me when my night terrors keep me awake at three in the morning…” Sunset leaned up from her place in Gilda’s arms to kiss Gilda. “You’re my whole world, Gilda Grimfeather, and you deserve so much better than me.”
“Nobody’s perfect, babe,” Gilda replied, pulling Sunset close and nuzzling her cheek. “I… guess I shoulda told ya months ago but… I been, uh… like…”
Furrowing her brow, Sunset fell back into her habit of comforting Gilda when she started stammering. Gilda was infamously bad at admitting any kind of weakness, it was a habit that both of them tended to have, though for Sunset it was more a matter of not wanting to be wrong.
“Babe, what is it?” Sunset brought a hand up to stroke Gilda’s cheek. “C-c’mon, after today you can’t possibly be any worse than me.”
“I’ve been… goin’ t’therapy, savvy?” Gilda admitted, staring down at the floor. “You, uh, remember when I scared ya that one time? Couple months after we started dating? I… thought about just breakin’ up ‘cause I felt so fuckin’ shitty.” Sunset’s eyes widened and she started to speak but Gilda shook her head. “J-just lemme finish, a’right? So… I was gonna then… then I thought about how I just couldn’t, right? I couldn’t not be with ya. I wanted to be with ya so bad that the thought’a losing you hurt like ya wouldn’t believe.”
“Gil…” Sunset cried, burying her face in Gilda’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“S’cause I was a little bitch about it, Sunshine,” Gilda grumbled. “I couldn’t figure out how t’say it, but… I couldn’t ever see that look on y’face again, savvy? So… since then I been seein’ Luna once’er twice a week, talkin’ about shit, y’know?”
“So… you think…?” Sunset started in a soft voice.
“Y-yeah, figure I ain’t the only one that needs t’talk, y’know?” Gilda replied. “I ain’t losin’ you, Sunshine, but if I ain’t giving up then neither can you, deal?”
“I don’t want to lose you either, Gil,” Sunset said quietly. “I want to be good for you, I want that so badly… but it feels like I’m… sick, y’know?”
“So let’s getcha better,” Gilda countered. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere, a’right? S’long as you keep tryin’ t’get better I’m gonna keep tryin’ right along with’ya.”
Pulling away from Gilda a little to rest more easily against her chest, Sunset let out a shuddering breath and nodded as Gilda pulled Sunset into her lap.
“What if… what if I mess up again?” Sunset asked. “What if I hurt you again?”
“Guess we’ll figure it out then,” Gilda answered. “Fixin’ shit like this don’t happen overnight, savvy? Can’t expect everything t’get better right away but… y’know, I know you’re tryin’, and I’ll help, ‘kay? And y’right, I can’t just letcha get away with shit anymore.”
Sunset nodded. “Just… call me out on it alright? I don’t want to be that kind of person so please tell me when I start to be, y’know… abusive.”
She said the word like it burned her tongue, but Sunset curled up harder against Gilda rather than pulling away. Sighing, Gilda nodded in agreement as she wrapped her arms protectively around Sunset.
“Maybe this works, maybe it doesn’t,” Gilda said softly, “but I’d go t’Tartarus for ya, babe, I swear it. So if that’s what it takes t’pull you outta wherever your head’s at right now, I’ll do it.”
“I don’t deserve you, Gilda Grimfeather,” Sunset mumbled quietly. “But I am so glad that I got you anyway…”
“Yeah,” Gilda agreed. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere, Sunshine. Everything I ever wanted is right here, after all, savvy?”
Gilda hugged Sunset tighter as the smaller girl took a deep breath and lifted her head to brush her lips softly against Gilda’s. Smiling, Gilda kissed Sunset back, bringing her hand up to tangle into Sunset’s messy red and gold locks before pulling away and smiling as she looked over Sunset’s shoulder.
“Heh, well, bad news, babe,” Gilda started, causing Sunset to glance over at the couch. “No way we’re gettin’ that thing down now.”
“Yeah, I know,” Sunset groaned, leaning against Gilda. “And we’re gonna have to take the long way down through the warehouse with the rest of this crap. Without the fire escape stairs it’s gonna take twice as long.”
Gilda leaned back against the hard concrete, flinching a little as the scratch on the back of her head brushed against it. “Eh, whatever, gotta do what we gotta do, complainin’ ain’t gettin’ it done any faster.”
“Yeah, but let’s get that cut cleaned up first,” Sunset said softly, nodding towards one of the duffel bags. “I put my first aid kit in one of those.”
Sunset hopped up from Gilda’s lap and walked over to the bags to begin digging through them. It was the work of a few minutes to retrieve the kit and apply some antibiotic spray to the shallow cut on the back of Gilda’s head. True to Gilda’s word, the cut really wasn’t that bad, but the sight of it put a cold stone of shame and regret in Sunset’s gut nonetheless. The knowledge that she had been the cause of the injury was hammered home every moment as she slowly wrapped a clean bandage around Gilda’s head to keep the wound clear of the dirt and dust that pervaded the little makeshift flat.
“Hey Gil?” Sunset said quietly as she tied off the bandage. As soon as it was secure, Gilda turned to look at Sunset questioningly. “Gil, I’m gonna get better, okay?” Sunset said after a moment. “I… I’m going to deserve you one day, I promise.”
Gilda smiled crookedly and nodded. “Sounds like a plan, Sunshine.”
