Show Me The Way To Go Home

by MagnetBolt

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Sex, Adagio Dazzle, Sunset Shimmer, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 10169

When Sunset Shimmer decides to help Adagio find the music locked deep inside her, she finds she's bitten off more than she can chew!

When the magic of friendship shattered Adagio's gem, she was wounded to the core of her being. Human medicine can't set right a magical problem, and that means Sunset and Adagio will have to go on a Fantastic Voyage back to their homeland for a solution.

Is Equestria really ready for the return of what was once a terrible monster, or will Adagio's bad habits snatch defeat from the Jaws of victory?

An entry for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest

Sex tag is for lots of innuendo, which was all but unavoidable given the pairing. No actual sex happens on screen. Don't ask about the bedroom.

Remember, kids: Vore is like a hug with your insides!

Published 2018-08-24 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-24 22:00:01 UTC

Sea

Ponyville Park was bright, sunny, and full of ponies who had seen so many monsters and disasters go through town that most of them barely noticed the siren. A light rain had left everything damp but a few drying spells and one small brush fire later (my fault), we’d set up camp near the lake.

“This is… nice,” Adagio said, using the exact tone of voice that said she absolutely didn’t think it was nice and it was someone else’s job to fix it.

“You could go for a swim,” I suggested.

“Fresh water irritates my gills.”

“You never mentioned that before.”

“I didn’t have to worry about my gills the last time we went swimming.”

“Who wants a sandwich?” Twilight asked. “I’ve got… cucumber? With pickles. Why would Spike put cucumber and pickles on the same sandwich?”

I shrugged. “You only gave him about five minutes to make food.”

“Maybe I should have ordered out,” Twilight muttered. She picked up another ‘sandwich’ that was just two slices of bread with a whole carrot stabbed through their centers. “I think he gets frustrated sometimes.”

“What is the point of all this?” Star Swirl demanded. “Breaking bread with the enemy is less appealing when you’ve already been the appetizer.”

“Sunset wanted to go over a proposal, and since it involved diplomacy, she asked me for help,” Twilight explained, as she tried to reassemble the sandwiches into something approximating food.

Adagio’s stomach rumbled. “Do you think they’d notice if I found myself something else to eat?” She whispered.

I rolled my eyes. “That depends on if what you found had a name or not.”

“I can see you have a lot of room to help her improve,” Star Swirl said, looking directly at me.

“It’s really more about making introductions,” Twilight said, not noticing the tension in the air was thick enough pegasi had to divert around our picnic to avoid stalling out. “Sunset wants to take Adagio to meet with the hippogriffs, and a royal introduction would make it easier.”

“Right. The plan is, we’ll talk to Queen Novo and- Adagio, stop growling at Star Swirl.” I swatted Adagio’s tail. “I blasted you with magic and you don’t growl at me!”

“You apologized and made it up to me. Besides, I was under the mistaken and pleasant assumption that he’d died of old age.” Adagio turned away from the elderly unicorn to stare pointedly at nothing in particular. “It’s completely ruined the atmosphere.”

“He was stuck in Limbo for over a thousand years,” Twilight said.

“I doubt it compares to even the few decades my sisters and I spent in Salem.”

I frowned, thinking. “...Wasn’t that the place with the witches?”

“I confess we were somewhat less than subtle,” Adagio shrugged.

“Weren’t people burned at the stake?”

“And it was a chore framing them. Everyone was so paranoid! You have a little fun and before you know it, you’re pointing fingers at the milkmaid so she gets turned into kindling instead of Aria just because someone has to get blamed for all the beer going bad.” She huffed, lashing her tail. “It wouldn’t have gotten so bad if Sonata had at least stopped giggling when they were dunking her in the river.”

“This is sounding awfully un-reformed and evil, Sunset!” Twilight hissed. “We talked about this!”

“Oh don’t worry, it was hundreds of years ago,” Adagio said. “I haven’t done anything really evil in ages.”

“You tried to eat me!” Star Swirl snapped.

“That doesn’t count.”

“I think it should count.”

“You’re biased against me because I tried to eat you.”

“So how about one of those lemon tarts?” I suggested. “We can eat those while Twilight and I work on getting the sandwiches together.”

“Right, yes, food!” Twilight grabbed a plate, holding it up. Adagio craned her neck and snapped it up before anypony could take a tart, chewing for a few moments and then spitting the plate out like the pit of a cherry.

“Hm. Not bad.” She smacked her lips. “You used the zest. Most people just use juice.”

“Those were for everypony!” Twilight’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“I gave you a compliment,” Adagio countered. “You should be flattered. I’ve eaten with royalty.”

Twilight's ear twitched, her mane slowly starting to fray on its own. “I am royalty!”

Adagio leaned a little closer to Twilight, giving her a smirk that filled her entire field of view. “That only proves my point.”

“If you really want to meet with Queen Novo, you’ll have to impress me, Adagio,” Twilight said.

“I’m amazed you’re even entertaining the idea of helping her,” Star Swirl huffed.

Twilight sighed and stopped sorting bread and filling. “A while back, Sunset and I, along with a few of our friends, stopped the Sirens from getting their hands on Equestrian magic and taking over the world.”

“An admirable quest.”

“In the process, it destroyed the magic gems the Sirens used to collect chaotic energy,” Twilight continued.

Adagio grimaced. I took her hoof.

“Ever since then they haven’t been able to sing,” I explained. “Every time she tries, her throat closes up. It’s kind of like an allergy.”

“More like a curse,” Adagio mumbled.

“Either way, we think Queen Novo can help. Twilight and Twilight and I did some research--”

“You said Twilight twice,” Star Swirl interrupted.

“We had two Twilights. Briefly. Until they started arguing about the best way to sort books.”

“She can come back to Equestria when she agrees my methods are superior,” Princess Twilight said, fluttering her wings pointedly. I rolled my eyes.

Adagio cleared her throat. “Queen Novo is rumored to have the Crown of Leucosia, or at least whatever’s left of it. It’s where the gems originally came from. My sisters and I pried them out a dozen centuries ago, give or take an eternity.”

“We figure since the destruction of the gems is what caused this curse, looking at the crown might give us a clue on how to fix things,” I explained.

“Princess Twilight, perhaps I should teach a class at your school,” Star Swirl said.

“Really?” Twilight’s ears shot up and I saw stars glimmer in her eyes.

“Indeed. I think I could spend an entire semester lecturing on all the reasons why this idea to help her is a bad one.”

“Maybe you could include a guest lecturer on sarcasm,” I grumbled. “She’s changed, Twilight. I promise.”

Twilight sighed. “I’ll send a letter so they’ll know to expect you. Adagio, just remember that whatever you do, Sunset is the one that’s really going to end up hurt by it.”

Adagio opened her mouth and I knew - I just knew, without even needing to read her mind, that she was going to say something stupid.

I yanked on her ear and mouthed the words ‘say thank you’.

“Thank you,” Adagio said, her voice strained. “Princess Twilight.”

“So, let’s go over your travel itinerary,” Twilight said, pulling a list out of her mane like a magician producing a rabbit. “First, you’ll need to take the train down to Equestria’s southern border...”

“This is humiliating,” Adagio grumbled. “A cargo car?”

“You can’t fit in a passenger car,” I pointed out. “You barely even fit in here.”

Adagio was squeezed into the train car like a dog in a crate, having to curl in around herself just to turn around in the tight space. If she hadn’t been so long and sinuous she would never have been able to get through the doors in the first place.

“We could have flown,” she said.

“You definitely couldn’t have gotten into an airship cabin.”

“I meant under my own power.”

“It would take twice as long and you’d be exhausted.” I trotted over to the door and pulled it open, the cargo car filling with the noise of the air rushing past the train. Outside, the rolling scrublands and rocky fields of southern Equestria stretched into the distance. “Maybe some fresh air will help.”

“What I really need is a decent meal.”

“Why are you always so hungry?” I asked, sitting down next to the open door.

Adagio raised an eyebrow. “That’s an interesting question, Sunset. Maybe if we put our heads together we might be able to work out why I’d be starving after I spent hundreds of years sucking down the dregs of magic in the human world.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Don’t apologize.” Adagio rolled over, and the train car jumped from the movement. I stumbled, unable to catch myself, and the open train door yawned wide, the wind catching me as I fell towards the blur of rocks and dirt-

There was a sharp yank, and I was hoisted back into the train car by my tail.

Adagio put me down in the corner and spat a few long red and yellow hairs out.

“You need to change your conditioner,” she said.

“Anything you want,” I said, a little dazed.

“Anything? That’s a dangerous offer to make.”

Her smile made me rethink what I’d said. “Uh…”

“I’ll let you off the hook this time,” she said. “But as long as you’re feeling grateful, maybe you could go to the dining car and get me a snack?”

Twilight moved her hoof down the page to the next point. “When you arrive at the station, you’ll need a guide to take you to Basalt Beach. It’s pretty remote, but the locals are friendly and you shouldn’t have much trouble hiring somepony.”

“Not many ponies come by around these parts,” the pony pulling the cart said, trying to make conversation even though he was almost out of breath. “Not this far from the turnip festival.”

“Turnip festival?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. Biggest event for miles and miles around. You wouldn’t believe all the different things you can do with turnips. Turnip pie, baked turnips, turnip soup, turnip surprise…”

“What’s turnip surprise?”

Adagio gave me a look. “Why would you ask?” She whispered.

I shrugged helplessly.

“If’n I told you, there wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said, evenly. “You’ll have to come t’ the festival if you want to find out.”

“If we’re still in the area, we’ll stop in,” I promised, with no intention to be anywhere within a thousand miles.

He nodded, and the cart shuddered and jerked as the wheels found mud in the ruts along the road and sank in all the way to the axles. He kept pulling, hooves digging grooves into the dirt as he struggled to get it free.

“Had some rain here th’ other night,” he said, by way of an apology. “Road gets a little boggy sometimes if’n there’s been a storm. We’ll be free in just a minute while I find some traction."

“Do you think the cart might be… overloaded?” I asked, carefully. Calling your girlfriend fat was a quick road that led to being single. Or lunch, depending on how offended she was. "Maybe we should have hired a bigger cart..."

"Maybe you two should stretch your legs while I get the old gal free,” our guide suggested. “Could be a little while and a lot of mud.”

“I suppose I have been feeling cooped up,” Adagio sighed. She levitated into the air, twisting into an S-shape, her spine popping and cracking.

I looked around, then jumped from the side of the cart and into the grass to avoid the muddy road.

“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?” She asked, floating closer.

“Probably not that long,” I said. “If he’s still stuck in a few minutes I’ll give him a hand and levitate it free.”

“Couldn’t you just do that now?”

“Well the truth is…” I motioned for her to come closer, like I was going to tell her a secret. Once she’d lowered her ear to my mouth, I leaned in that last inch and kissed her, the siren’s cheeks turning red. “I don’t mind a few minutes alone.”

“I think he’d notice if we did anything serious.”

“I think he’d only notice if we were turnips,” I countered. “I’m just kind of curious about how things would work with you this big and--”

The farmer yelled something.

Adagio groaned. “What now? We were finally having some fun!”

“He probably wants to tell us about a really exciting new type of potato he discovered,” I said, turning around just in time to just barely be missed by a black two-pronged spear being wielded by a masked thing with bulky arms, a wild lion-like mane of white fur, and either a black mask or a face that looked like one. Red lines and crosses covered patchwork armor like warpaint, covering up the old livery with tribal marks.

I blasted it into the air hard enough that it would have a long time to regret attacking me before it hit the ground.

“I don’t think it’s about root vegetables,” Adagio said, rearing up. There was movement all around us, a half-dozen more of the creatures hesitating as they realized they’d bitten off more than they could chew.

“Bandits?” I guessed.

“Entertainment,” Adagio corrected. She leaned down to peck my cheek “I know you love playing the hero, so you rescue the farmer. I’ll have fun with the rest.”

“Just don’t kill them.”

Adagio gave me a grin that would have made a shark jealous. “Don’t worry. I’ll only scare them off.”

She turned to the nearest of the creatures and roared, and it dropped its spear and ran, indicating it was smart enough to be officer material.

The farmer screamed, and I ran after him. One of the creatures was holding him up in the air. Another one was hitting him with a stick, either trying to quiet him down or attempting to smack him hard enough that candy would come out. A third was struggling to free the cart from the thick mud and having just as little luck as the pony they were in the middle of abducting.

“Hey, jerks!”

They looked, and I blasted the whole group of them into the air. Force blasts weren’t as flashy or dangerous as using fire or lightning, but it wasn’t going to accidentally kill anypony.

I skidded to a stop, looked up, and grabbed the farmer and his cart with telekinesis, slowing their fall and giving them a soft landing, pointedly putting the cart in a dry patch out of the mud.

“I think we’re ready to head down to the beach,” I said. “Don’t you?”

He wiped his brow and smiled. “I ain’t never seen anything quite like that jugglin’ trick, Miss. Don’t suppose you do foal’s birthdays?”

“Sorry, I’m not looking for a side job.”

“Too bad,” he said. “Thanks for saving me, but I think there’s a mite problem with your giant fishy ladyfriend.”

“She isn’t hurt is--” I turned to see her cheeks bulging and a distinct impression of something struggling in her maw. She met my gaze with the same guilty look as when we'd caught Spike (the dog, not the dragon, though I expect they'd both have the same expression) in Rarity's underwear drawer.

“Think she might have eaten one of them,” he continued.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, forcing myself to smile at him before I turned to Adagio and started yelling. “ADAGIO DON’T YOU DARE! YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT’S BEEN!”

Twilight pulled out a map. “Basalt Beach is around this area. I’ll send a letter ahead of you and the Hippogriffs should send somepony to meet you. They’ll find you, so feel free to get some sunbathing in while you wait!”

Rain poured down on the beach around us, beating down on the semicircular shield I’d erected to serve as an umbrella. Adagio was mostly outside of the envelope, her scales better protection against the weather than anything I could provide.

“Starlight and Star Swirl.”

I snorted. “That’s not even a fight. He’d say something to piss her off and Starlight would blast him into another dimension.”

Adagio tapped her cloven hoof against her chin, looking down at where I was lying on her chest. “Celestia and Luna. No Elements of Harmony.”

“I don’t know Princess Luna very well… but since Celestia had to use the Elements to beat Nightmare Moon, I’d put money on the little sister.”

“Smart. Same question, but the human versions instead of the ponies.”

“In that case, Principal Celestia has a longer reach.”

“I can tell Luna fights dirty though,” Adagio countered. “She’d sneak a knife into a fist fight. If you weren’t so interesting she’d have been a nice catch.”

I gasped in mock offense. “How dare you replace me with an older woman?”

“Compared to my age, a decade or two is a rounding error.” She leaned in and carefully kissed my cheek with delicacy that belied her huge form. “Besides, I do love my tiny girlfriend. Speaking of which, what about you versus our Princess Twilight Sparkle?”

“I’d win,” I said, without hesitation.

“You’re awfully confident about that.”

“I put a lot of thought into it before I stole the Element of Magic.” I shrugged.

“So how would you do it? Blast her apart? Kidnap her friends? Turn everyone against each other?”

“It would have worked if not for those meddling kids.”

Adagio cackled and pulled me into a bone-creaking hug. “That’s why I love you. You understand exactly how I feel.”

A bubbly voice echoed over the sound of the surf. “Oh, that’s so cute! And a little scary because one of you is a giant monster! But totally cute!”

Adagio craned her neck to look at something. I had to struggle out of her loosened grasp and levitate myself up to perch on her head to get a look.

A pale yellow pony was looking at us, only her head and shoulders visible in the waves. It took me a moment to realize her mane was actually a large, curling fin.

“I suppose that would be the hippocampus sent to meet us?” Adagio guessed.

“Hippogriff,” she corrected.

“Not with those fins you aren’t.”

“Oh, I’m only a fish sometimes,” she said, dolphin-leaping out of the water. Her whole body was enveloped in a soft glow, and by the time she landed on the beach next to us she had feathers and talons instead of fins and more fins. “Other times I’m a bird! I’m Princess Skystar.”

“I’m Sunset Shimmer,” I said. “This is Adagio Dazzle.”

“So Princess Twilight sent us a letter and it was a little waterlogged because she didn’t use squid ink but I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to lead you to my mom. She’s really excited to have visitors! She was saying about how we’d need to bring all the guards in, and get the lightning cannons charged, and prepare the tactical shark squads!”

“Um…”

“Huh, you know, now that I say that all out loud it sounds more like preparing for an invasion!”

“Would it help if we promised not to invade?”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Skystar said. “So who wants to turn into a fish? Well, you probably don’t. You’re already a fish. But I’m pretty sure Sunny Sunrise would be a great seapony!”

“Sunset Shimmer,” I corrected.

“Hey, that reminds me, why do so many ponies have names that mean basically the same thing? I mean there’s you, and Twilight Sparkle, and Starlight Glimmer, and Moonrise Twinkle, and Aurora Flicker...”

She was still naming ponies an hour later while we were swimming. Well, while she and Adagio were swimming and I was struggling to keep up. I’d never learned to swim as a pony, but I’d done a lot of it as a human. Guess what? Seaponies don’t swim like humans. At least I couldn’t drown.

“And Dusk Shine, and Gloam Gleam, and Twilight Sparkle -- wait, I think I already said her name. Did I say her name?”

“Please stop,” Adagio groaned.

“Aw, but I’m not done with the list Pinkie Pie sent me!” Skystar sighed. “How about we sing a swimming song?”

Adagio growled. “No songs!”

“Are you sure? I bet you have a beautiful singing voice.”

“No. Songs!” Adagio snarled. I got between them before anything catastrophic could happen.

“She’s cursed,” I explained. “She can’t sing. That’s the whole reason we’re here, Princess. This is not a good time for singing.”

“But it’s always a good time for--”

Adagio pushed me aside and roared in Skystar’s face loudly enough to send the Princess tumbling back like she’d found a riptide. She hit the bottom hard enough to stir up a cloud of silt, a school of small fish fleeing the danger.

“You know what, maybe we won’t sing,” Skystar said, laughing nervously.

“Good idea,” Adagio groused.

I helped the Princess up. Or I tried, anyway. I was so awkward it probably made things harder instead of easier.

“She’s grumpy,” Skystar whispered.

“Adagio hates not being in control,” I explained. “The curse means she can’t control her own body, and having to rely on others means she’s not even in control of finding a cure. I know she seems a little rough around the edges, but she’s just scared.”

“I know what it’s like being scared,” Skystar admitted. “Actually, we’re basically professionally scared.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?” I suggested. “With no singing.”

“Seaquestria is secluded, and the seaponies there are still a little shell-shocked from the trouble with the Storm King.”

“Shell-shocked?”

“You know. Like how a clam shuts itself away.”

“That’s not what the phrase means, Twilight.”

“Just stay on your best behavior. I didn’t mention this before but when I was there the first time I might have made a few diplomatic mistakes and I don’t want them to think we’re all like that.”

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

Even Adagio didn’t have a sarcastic quip. At first glance you could mistake the organic shapes and rounded corners as primitive, but the scale and activity in the city quickly dispelled that notion.

“Come on, the royal palace is over here,” Skystar said, leading us to the largest structure. It was all more open than I expected. With no weather or seasons, there probably wasn’t any need for windows or walls, and entrances in roofs or floors were just as useful as any other door. I’d seen something like it before, but I couldn’t put a name to it. She led us into a chamber big enough to fit a few houses, supported by columns that seemed too thin to handle the job.

“It reminds me of old Pegasopolan architecture,” Adagio said.

“That’s what I was trying to think of,” I said. “Cloudsdale. It’s more solid than cloud buildings but it’s got that same feel to it.”

“I’ll get Mom, you two wait here, okay?” Skystar waved and swam up into another chamber, leaving us alone.

“Now we just wait for something to go wrong,” I muttered.

“You’re worrying too much,” Adagio said, circling me slowly as I tried to stay in one place with the gentle currents pushing me around.

“Maybe you’re right,” I admitted. “Maybe we’re just one musical montage from you writing a friendship lesson to Twilight.”

“I’m not going to write some pithy little lesson to a pony Princess--” Adagio paused, looking at something to her side before she lunged, snapping her teeth.

“What are you doing?” I hissed, looking around to make sure there weren’t any seaponies watching..

Adagio looked at me, an orange fin between her teeth, swallowing before she answered.

“Just grabbing a snack,” she said, licking her lips.

“Don’t eat weird things!”

“Oh, stop worrying,” Adagio snorted. “It was just a fish. I distinctly remember you eating sushi.”

I gave her a flat look. “Sushi is a lot different from eating a fish while it’s still alive.”

Adagio leered at me. “You never complained when I was eating you--”

“Don’t.” I put a hoof over her mouth.

Princess Skystar swam into the room, looking around. “Are you girls coming? Mom sent for you a few minutes ago.”

“Nopony’s come in,” I said.

“Huh,” Skystar tapped her hoof against her lips, thinking. “Maybe they got scared off. Not because you’re scary, or anything! Because you’re not scary. I’m sure you’re very friendly! But you’re also sort of frightening.”

“But not scary?”

“Exactly!” Skystar agreed. “I’m glad you understand.”

I’d spent enough time around Pinkie Pie to know when it was time to just nod and smile and not ask questions. She waved for us to follow her through the tunnel in the ceiling.

The throne room was dark and expansive, large enough that even Adagio seemed small in it. Armored seaponies swam around the edges, keeping an eye on us from all angles.

“Welcome to Seaquestria.”

“Thank you for having us,” I said. “I hope we haven’t caused you too much trouble.”

Queen Novo waved a hoof, and one of her servants swam forward with a scroll. Most of a scroll. It was more mush than anything else.

“I’m not sure if it was the dragonfire delivery, the paper she used, or the wet ink, but please tell Princess Twilight that we received about half of her letter,” Queen Novo said. “We knew something was going on, but not what.”

“Thus the guards,” Adagio said, looking at them impassively. “I suppose I’m flattered that you thought you’d need an army.”

“After our experience with the Storm King, we’ve been convinced we need to fight instead of flee,” Queen Novo explained. “Hopefully neither will actually come to pass today.”

“That would be great,” I said. “We’re just here to examine one of your artifacts.”

“The Crown,” Queen Novo said. She clapped her hooves, and one of the circling guards swam down, bearing a chest that was a treasure all on its own, slabs of mother-of-pearl from some huge mollusk bound together with bronze fittings.

The guard opened the chest, revealing a huge crown of ancient gold with a strange pale cast to it. It was twisted into organic shapes that reminded me of seashells and kelp. It was too large for any pony to wear, except maybe as a belt. It would be right at home on Adagio’s huge draconian brow, though.

“The Crown of Leucosia is one of our most ancient and precious artifacts,” Queen Novo said. “It’s thousands of years old.”

“It is,” Adagio agreed. “I’m very familiar with it. My mother wore it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You never told me you were royalty.”

“I’ve been royalty at least half a dozen times, though none of the kingdoms still exist.” Adagio leaned in to look more closely. “Mother wasn’t really a queen, though she pretended to the title. It was more like having a cult and a pantry at the same time.”

“May I?” I asked, motioning to the crown with a fin.

“Be careful with it,” Queen Novo warned.

I eased it out of the box using as little magic as possible, not wanting to trip any enchantments lingering on it with my telekinetic grip. There were three empty sockets the size of my hoof, the edges raw and torn, the engravings around them ruined by what were clearly tooth marks.

“I almost regret how rough we were,” Adagio mumbled. She touched her scarred chest.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s just indigestion,” she said, waving a hoof. “We did what we had to do. Mother only wanted one of us to be her heir, but we decided we were better as a chorus than fighting over who got to be the solo act. Aria and Sonata might be annoying and more than a little stupid, but they’re still my sisters.”

“We’ll give you quarters and someplace to study the Crown,” Queen Novo said. “It can’t be allowed to leave, but you’re free to study it here. My pet can lead you to the guest quarters.”

She whistled, and it sounded like whalesong.

I waited expectantly.

Nothing happened.

She whistled again, more loudly.

“That’s strange. Where is she?” Novo mumbled, then whistled something else.

An orange and white fish poked its head out of a glowing anemone and swam over, swimming in front of the Queen and looking panicked.

“Where’s Coral?” Queen Novo asked the fish. “I sent her out to get our guests and she never came back.”

“Uh oh,” Adagio whispered.

“Adagio,” I whispered. “That looks a lot like the fish you--”

“It was just a fish, Sunset,” she said. “Fish aren’t pets. They’re decorations at best.”

“THEY DID WHAT?!” Queen Novo screeched.

“Somebody’s in trouble,” Adagio chuckled.

Glares from around the room fixed on us as the guards slowed and stopped.

Adagio slopped laughing. “It’s us, isn’t it? We’re in trouble.”

“Seize them!” Novo roared.

Foam

“Swim faster!”

“I’m swimming as fast as I can!” I yelled, struggling through the water, the Crown of Leucosia slowing me down as I pulled it along behind us.

“You shouldn’t have gotten distracted during those swimming lessons,” Adagio admonished, flicking her tail to knock a spear aside before it could reach her.

“I was distracted because you decided we were going to go skinny dipping! And that’s besides the point -- I shouldn't even have to run! This is all your fault!”

“How was I supposed to know seaponies keep fish as pets?!” Adagio yelled, looking back and wincing as a bolt of lightning crackled through the water, the jagged beam curling and missing her only out of dumb luck.

“I guess Princess Skystar wasn’t kidding about lightning cannons!” I yelled. I had no idea how the armored seaponies were dragging the huge things through the water while they swam after us. They were practically as large as siege weaponry, but the two guards lugging them weren’t having any issues keeping up.

“Can’t you blast them with magic?!”

“Spells don’t work the same underwater!”

“I thought you were Celestia’s favorite student!”

“No, Twilight was Celestia’s favorite student! I’m the one that got into screaming matches with her!”

“Well pardon me for assuming she’d teach you something useful!”

“And pardon me for not sticking my head in a bucket so I could learn how to weave baskets at the bottom of the ocean!”

Another bolt of lightning crackled past us, close enough to leave me tingling and numb.

“They’re catching up, and their aim is getting better!”

“I’ve got an idea!” Adagio said. “Can you buy us a few minutes?”

I nodded and started knitting together a shield. I should have been able to do it in the blink of an eye, but this was like, well, underwater basket weaving. I’d never been all that good with shields to begin with and everything was slower and more difficult down here. The magic didn’t move correctly, and that wasn’t just because I had fins instead of hooves.

The shield came together just in time to catch a blast of electric force, sparks crackling along the surface of the shield as it formed along us, the competing magical energies splashing outwards as a multicolored aurora that filled the water in a chaotic mess of color.

“What’s your idea?” I yelled, over the popping and hissing of the superheated water bubbling at the surface of my shield. These seaponies were playing for keeps.

“Give me the crown. I’ll put it on.”

I gave her a look. “Adagio, I don’t think they’ll stop just because you’re wearing a hat.”

“The crown is magic, right?” She asked. “It might be able to do something! When it was whole, it had powers my sisters and I were never able to replicate on our own!”

I held the Crown of Leucosia up, trying to get a feel for it.

“I can’t tell,” I said, after a moment. “There’s too much interference and--”

My concentration was rocked by another blast of thunder, sending a numb pins-and-needles feeling down my horn from the feedback. I could tell already I was going to have a wicked headache in the morning.

“Just give it to me!” Adagio demanded, sweeping it up with a cloven hoof.

I let her have it, not fighting to keep my grip on it with my magic already strained.

She delicately placed it on her brow, closing her eyes like she thought it would bite her.

The massive golden crown, big enough for most ponies to use as a throne, settled onto Adagio’s head. Part of me expected a flash of light, or a blast or force, or for her to turn into a demon. Maybe that last one was just a personal fear - it was probably relatively rare for ponies to turn into demons when they put on a crown they didn’t deserve.

Not that Adagio didn’t deserve the crown, but she had defiled it, and I’d met too many enchanted items that carried grudges to feel safe.

“Did it work?” I asked, after a moment.

“I don’t feel any different,” Adagio said. She opened her eyes and looked at the scar on her chest. “Shouldn’t I be feeling something?”

Another blast of lightning rocked my shield, the already-fragile enchantment buckling and deforming, starting to deflate like a rubber ball with a hole in it.

“If I get out of this alive I’m going to learn to cast spells underwater.”

“It’s not doing anything, Sunset!” Adagio snapped.

“Don’t yell at me! I’m trying to help!”

The hippogriffs crowding around and beating on the failing shield parted, Queen Novo swimming up to the edge to glare in at us, holding an orange fish in her front hooves.

“When you ate Coral you left her mate and child alone in this world,” she said, bitterly. “I raised them like they were my own children!”

“It’s true!” Skystar added, peeking out from behind a rock. “We had dinner together, and went on family trips… well, not really trips. We were in hiding. But we went to events, and isn’t it still sort of a trip even if you’re just going to spend time with friends? I think--”

“This isn’t the time,” Queen Novo said. “Leave before you get hurt.”

“Hey, that’s a good idea,” I said. “We’ll go. We didn’t mean to cause trouble, we’re very sorry, and we’d very much like to just go home and work on our apology letters!”

“I was talking to my daughter,” Novo said, humorlessly. She looked over her shoulder at Skystar. “I don’t want you to see what happens next. Stratus, take my daughter back to her quarters. Make sure she stays there until I return.”

One of the guards saluted and led Skystar away. She looked back with an expression filled with more worry than I wanted to see.

“You’re no longer welcome in Seaquestria,” Queen Novo said. She clapped her hooves, and currents of water shredded what was left of my shield. “And you are no longer welcome to any of its gifts or magic.”

“Fine! Just take the stupid thing!” Adagio plucked the crown from her head and threw it towards the crowd, guards diving aside as it crashed through their ranks like a golden cannonball, bouncing along the seabed and stirring up the silt.

“It was never yours to give back,” Queen Novo snapped. “Stealing something doesn’t make it your own.”

“It didn’t work anyway,” Adagio grumbled. “It’s just a trinket.”

Queen Novo glared at us as the guards reformed their ranks around her. “The only thing you value is power, and I am glad I have seen your true faces before you could be allowed to possess more than you deserve.”

“That’s not true!” I swam between her and Adagio. “This isn’t about power! I just wanted to help her because she’s been hurting, and… I blame myself for what happened.”

“I already forgave you for it,” Adagio muttered.

“There’s a big difference between forgiveness and actually making up for what you did wrong. The girls and I broke your gems, and that’s why you can’t sing. You might have forgiven me, but until I can do something to fix my mistake, I’m still going to carry that weight.”

I turned to Queen Novo.

“Whatever we did wrong, give us a chance to make it up to you. I know how hard it can be to regain the trust of somepony you wronged, but I want to make the effort. I want to fix what went wrong and make things right between us. No running or hiding or fighting.”

I held out a hoof of friendship.

Queen Novo looked at it, then at my face.

“No,” she said.

“No?”

“Sometimes when you wrong somepony, you can’t fix what you did wrong. You can’t bring Coral back from the belly of the beast you seem intent on defending. I don’t think a monster like that could really care about anypony.”

I glared at her. I’d have slapped her, but you didn’t generally slap somepony whom you were trying to beg for mercy. “She loves me.”

“And I loved Coral. You can’t make this right, Sunset Shimmer. Do you know why she can’t sing? Because she’s a monster. Whatever you did to her, it was punishment. And now she’s going to be punished again.”

“I won’t let you hurt her,” I said, sending enough magic through my horn to give it a harsh glow. It was mostly a bluff. If we were out in the open air, I could have taken her, but down here I had no ideas what spells would work.

“I’m not going to hurt either of you,” Queen Novo said. She waved a hoof, and a rush of sparkling magic washed over me.

I noticed I had hooves again, though it would have been better if I’d noticed I had lungs. I sucked in a breath and found only ice-cold seawater when my body craved air.

“Sunset!” Adagio was screaming. I’d be screaming too if I could breathe enough to do it.

I closed my mouth, trying to keep the air in despite the crushing pressure of the depths around me. Adagio lunged, and the hippogriffs forced her back with a cordon of spears and nets.

“Attacking me won’t do you any good,” Queen Novo said. “How long can she hold her breath? A minute, maybe two?”

“And you’re calling me the monster?” Adagio growled. She reached for me, and more seaponies got between us, cutting her off.

“You are a monster,” Queen Novo said. “Even if you don’t want the title, that’s what you act like. Now, you will beg me for forgiveness and I will consider allowing you to leave with your pony.”

She gestured to me. I would have laughed if I hadn’t been busy drowning. Adagio didn’t beg. Of course, I also thought she didn’t cry, and I’d been wrong about that.

Adagio looked Queen Novo firmly in the eyes, braced herself, and started making a noise like a cat with a hairball. She choked and gasped, struggling and curling up on herself in pain.

“Is it that hard?” Queen Novo asked. “You can’t even lower yourself to save your marefriend’s life?”

Adagio looked at me and opened her mouth again. I could see her fighting for breath almost as much as I was, trying to force something out.

“I can see you’d rather let her die than admit how wrong you were,” Novo said. “Deep Blue, take her to the cells.”

One of the seaponies swam towards me and I struggled, my vision going black around the edges. I tried casting a spell to make him back off, but somewhere between the saltwater and my lack of concentration, it just turned into a few loose sparkles in the water.

The water vibrated around me. That’s the only way I can describe it. Partly because I was about halfway to passing out at the time. It was like someone had turned the universe into a giant tuning fork.

The guard coming towards me covered his ears, and his eyes flashed with green light from within.

Like notes descending a scale, the pure power of the vibration around me settled from just energy into a perfect C-sharp.

Adagio’s eyes were closed in concentration as she forced the note out, as long and powerful and carrying as whalesong. I could see the water shuddering in front of her with the force of the song as it twisted and turned, as entrancing as it had been when she and her sisters had taken over the school.

The seaponies turned on each other like griffons fighting over a bar tab, lightning cannons and spears forgotten as they started pummeling each other with hooves and tail-slaps, Queen Novo knocking out one of her guards with a particularly vicious left hook.

Adagio rushed towards me, fangs bared and maw open, an onrushing tunnel edged in fangs as long as my hoof.

I shook my head and tried to tell her not to do it, but all that came out were bubbles that represented the last of my air as her maw closed down around me.

Obviously I didn’t die. That didn’t mean it was particularly pleasant.

The next thing I was really aware of, aside from foul air, pressure all around me, and warm darkness, was being spat up.

I landed in the sand, covered in mucus, spit, and the contents of Adagio’s stomach, including one unfortunate clownfish.

“Are you okay?” Adagio asked, sounding panicked.

I tried to answer and started coughing, water pouring from my mouth. “I’m gonna be sick,” I said, weakly.

She relaxed. “If you can complain it means you’re fine.” She hit the sand hard next to me, like a beached whale but more attractive.

The clownfish next to me flopped weakly at me and I threw it back into the ocean.

“So much for her saying we couldn’t fix things,” I muttered. “Take your stupid fish back.”

I laid back on the sand and winced as something hard pressed into my back. I rolled over and pulled it free, revealing a license plate.

“I don’t even remember going to Louisiana,” Adagio muttered, when she saw it. “It must have been Mardi Gras in ‘72. That whole week was always a blur.”

“You ate me,” I said.

“Well,” Adagio said. “Not all the way.”

“You ate me!”

“It saved your life! I used the air in my swim bladder to let you breathe. Do you know how gassy that makes me? You should be thanking me for not letting you drown.”

“You ate me.”

“I’m starting to get a sense of deja vu. If it makes you feel better, think of it as a great big hug from my insides to your outsides.”

“It was not at all like a hug.”

“Well, then at least we made it.”

"And you sang."

Adagio smiled. "Either the crown did something, or maybe I just needed to be sufficiently motivated."

“Where are we, anyway?” I asked.

“I have no idea,” Adagio shrugged.

“Great,” I sighed. I pulled a sopping, sticky lock of mane away from my face. “I can’t believe I spent all day underwater and the first thing I want is a hot shower.”

“...So we saw an airship flying by, and Adagio convinced him to take us along to his next stop,” I finished.

“When you say convinced, do you mean… convinced, or…” Twilight made air quotes. “Convinced?”

Adagio rolled her eyes and snorted.

“The kind where you don’t imply that she used mind control,” I said.

“Actually I was implying she might have threatened his life,” Twilight said. “Your story more or less matches what Queen Novo told me. I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m disappointed.”

“Why?” Adagio asked. “Everything worked out fine for me. I’m quite satisfied with the result.”

“You almost caused a war.”

“It’s not the first time. At least it wasn’t over some idiot’s awful fiddle playing this time.”

“Just let it go, Twilight,” I suggested. “She saved my life, and nopony got really hurt.”

Twilight didn’t look convinced.

“And we learned a valuable lesson about friendship!” I suggested, elbowing Adagio. It took a few times for her to notice me poking her.

“Hm?” She looked down at me.

“Friendship lesson!” I hissed. “We rehearsed this!”

“Oh, right, that,” Adagio sighed. “What I learned is that fishes are friends, not food.”

“See, Twilight? She learned her lesson.”

Twilight pursed her lips. “Fine.”

Adagio blinked, surprised. “Really? It worked?”

“No!” Twilight glared at both of us. “I’m sending you both back with homework. Thankfully, I have quite a few worksheets. Before you’re allowed to return to Equestria, I expect all of them to be finished.”

“Twilight, you can’t be--”

“And there will be a test on the material!” Twilight yelled. “So take notes. It’s open-book.”

I’ve made bad decisions in my life, but Adagio isn’t one of them.

I flipped through the movies and TV shows for the tenth time since I’d sat down, pausing on a documentary on coral reefs, my feet up on the kitchen table on top of one of the thick piles of worksheets we’d been sent home with.

“Do you think we should get a pet fish?” I asked.

“Don’t even start,” Adagio snorted. “The last thing I want is a snack you have to feed. It entirely defeats the purpose.”

She got up and stretched, arching her back. That did interesting things to her chest and she knew it was going to make me look. Maybe they really were bigger than mine.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she said.

I was too distracted to respond.

“My eyes are up here,” she whispered.

“I was just trying to decide if you were--” I looked away and stopped bothering trying to explain. “Never mind.”

“If you get bored, you could always join me,” she suggested, rocking her hips suggestively before she closed the door to the bathroom. Most of the way. She left it cracked open enough to give me tantalizing glimpses as she undressed.

The sound of running water filled the air. After a few minutes, it was joined by notes, faint at first and getting stronger and more confident.

I turned the TV off and walked to the bathroom to take her up on her suggestion.

Land

“Remind me again why I decided this was a good idea?” I asked.

My girlfriend smiled and for a moment I swore I saw fangs. “Sunset, you never said it was a good idea. You’re doing it anyway, because you love me.” She let go of my hand after squeezing it.

Then she reached down and grabbed my butt to give that a firm squeeze too.

I jumped and instinctively tried to catch myself on the marble block in front of me. My hands passed through the stone with a fuzzy, static feeling.

When I first came through the portal, one of the first things I bought was a television. It seemed like magic at the time, and for somepony not raised with it, it was really addictive. I’d gotten the cheapest one I could find, one of the old CRT boxes that were thicker than they were wide, and the screen would get this incredible static charge that never really went away. It was the same feeling the portal gave me.

And I’d have had more time to contemplate that if my partner hadn’t jumped me from behind and pushed both of us into the space between worlds.

I’m not going to pretend that I don’t make bad decisions. I used to spend hours lying in bed just thinking about all the mistakes I made. The years I’d wasted because I was smart instead of wise and I was dumb enough not to know the difference between the two.

And that’s where I found myself, sitting on the couch and flipping through shows and movies on my now much better and more modern TV, trying to find something to watch.

“How is it there are hundreds of movies and all of them are terrible?” I asked.

Clearly, it was loud enough for her to hear me from the bathroom. “If you’re bored, you could join me in the shower!”

I snorted. “Maybe next time. Don’t use all the hot water!”

She laughed and the room filled with the sound of running water. I looked over to the door. She’d left it cracked open. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe she was trying to tempt me to jump in with her.

If there was anything my girlfriend was good at, it was tempting me.

I shook my head and smiled, going back to the TV and trying to decide if I wanted to watch an awful looking movie or put on Star Trot again even though I knew almost all the lines by heart.

Over the rush of water from the other room, I heard a few faint notes that cut off with a strangled gasp and the wet thud of someone falling.

I was on my feet and running for the bathroom before my brain had time to process anything except wordless fear. I shoved the door open, steam blasting my face, fearing the worst.

Adagio was curled up in the tub, water cascading down around her.

She sniffled and looked away from me. “I forgot, just for a second.”

“Are you okay?” I asked, the energy draining away.

“If I was okay, this wouldn’t happen every time,” she whispered. “I wasn’t even trying to do anything! I was just washing my hair and everything felt normal, and…”

“And you started singing in the shower,” I finished.

She nodded.

“Come on.” I turned off the water. “Let’s get you dried off.”

I helped her up, and she winced. Her wrist was already bruising.

“We have to fix this,” I said.

“It’s just a sprain. Unless you really want to play doctor to help me get my mind off things?” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her red, wet eyes.

I kissed her wrist.

She giggled “I feel better already.”

I landed heavily, and then the breath was pressed out of my body when something huge and scaly landed on top of me.

“Get off! You’re crushing me!” I hissed.

She shifted, and the crushing weight lessened. A huge golden maw delicately lowered and kissed my cheek. “You didn’t say that last night.”

“Get a room, you two.”

“...Hey Spike,” I said, trying to pretend my cheeks weren’t burning red. “I’d like you to meet--”

“Adagio Dazzle. It’s a pleasure,” the monster sitting on my chest said. She paused. “Wait, I remember you! You’re the dog!”

“I’m not a dog!” Spike grumbled.

“You were such a cutie!” Adagio got up, hovering over the ground and rearing up to loom over the baby dragon, baring shark-like teeth in what could broadly be called a smile. “I could just eat you right up!”

“He’s not on the lunch menu,” I said, finally able to get off the floor and brush myself off. “Sorry about that, Spike.”

“It’s fine, Sunset,” Spike shrugged. “She doesn’t scare me.”

“Because dragons aren’t scared of anything?” Adagio guessed.

“Because at least once a year something horrible happens and tries to end the world,” Spike corrected. “If you wanna scare me you’ll have to try a lot harder.”

“That sounds like a challenge.”

“Dagi,” I warned. “No. We talked about this.”

“I know. I’m supposed to be on my best behavior.” Adagio rolled her eyes.

“Unless you’d like to go home right now,” I said. “We can forget about this whole thing.”

Adagio frowned and touched her chest. A jagged scar ran over her heart, a place where scales had never grown back.

“I’ll try harder,” she grumbled.

“Thank you.” I patted her tail, which was the only part of her I could reach from the ground.

“Come on,” Spike said. “Twilight’s probably got lunch ready by now and I haven’t eaten in hours.”

“...So we’ll need salad fork, main fork, spoon… does she eat fish? Is a fish fork speciesist? I should have asked Sunset! Wait, Sunset eats meat too! Is she going to expect me to have meat? Humans eat it all the time and she’s gone native… Maybe if I send a letter to Celestia she can give me some tips…”

I shot Adagio a look, and she raised her eyebrow, amused, putting a hoof over my mouth when I started to interrupt Twilight talking to herself.

“Spike!” Twilight yelled. “I need you to send a letter!”

“Um, Twilight,” Spike said.

“Okay, just write down what I tell you,” Twilight said, still not looking toward the door. “Dear Princess Celestia, Do sirens eat fish? No, wait, I should explain the circumstances first. Scratch that first line out. Start by telling her why I’m asking so she won’t think I’m crazy and worrying over nothing! Because I’m not crazy!”

“Twilight!”

“Spike, this is important! We have to get this out before Sunset and her… special somepony get here. Somebody? Somefish? What do you think we should-” Twilight turned, finally, and saw us all in the doorway.

She shrieked and vanished in a burst of teleportation.

“She doesn’t handle surprises well,” I explained.

Adagio smirked. “I noticed.”

“Just stay here,” Spike said. “I’m gonna get a paper bag and some checklists.”

“...Why?” Adagio asked.

Spike sighed and pushed past us into the hallway. “The bag is for her hyperventilating. The checklists help calm her down.”

“Remind me again why we’re having lunch with her?” Adagio asked. “As I recall there are several other Princesses we could be meeting, all of whom make better company.”

“First, she’s my friend. Second, she knows you already and so she’ll be able to vouch that you’re…” I paused. “Less evil? Let’s go with that. Less evil.”

Adagio raised her chin, narrowing her eyes.

“Third, it would be even more awkward if we had dinner with Cadance, and Princess Celestia, um…”

“Um?”

“She doesn’t really approve of anypony dating me. Let’s just say it’s best if we have somepony else vouching for you first.”

Adagio flicked her tail in annoyance. “What about Luna?”

“That would be great, except we either go to Canterlot and avoid Celestia, so she’ll be upset, or we invite Luna and not her to meet somewhere else, and she’ll be even more upset!” I sucked air between my teeth. “Like I said, Twilight is one of my best friends. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Once she calms down, things will stop being awkward, we’ll have a nice dinner, and then we’ll do what we came here to do.”

Adagio calmed down, settling onto the floor. “At least things can’t get worse.”

I hopped up onto her tail. “I never realized just how huge your real body was.”

“I was always bigger than you where it counted.” She curled tighter, nuzzling me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She motioned towards her totally flat, scale-covered chest.

“That- no you weren’t! We were the same size!”

“You shouldn’t lie to yourself.”

“You wore a push-up bra, Adagio! It doesn’t actually make them bigger!”

“What is that thing doing here?!”

Adagio and I both spun to look at the bearded pony who’d opened the door and was glaring up at us.

“YOU!” Adagio roared, throwing me aside as she charged.

“SPIT IT OUT!” I demanded.

Adagio shook her head.

I stomped a hoof. “Do you know how much trouble you’re going to be in?!”

She started to swallow. I saw the bulge moving down her long neck, still struggling. I grabbed her throat with both hooves, squeezing.

“Adagio, no!”

“Okay everypony, I’m back!” Twilight declared, walking into the still-open doors. “...Am I interrupting something? This isn’t a sex thing, is it?”

“It’s definitely not a sex thing!” I yelled.

Adagio wiggled her eyebrows.

“It’s not,” I repeated.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well whatever it is, hurry up and finish whatever you’re doing. Star Swirl is going to be here soon.”

She stepped in something, and bells rang.

“This is his hat,” she said, lifting it up. “Why is his hat--”

Her eyes went wide.

“Where’s Star Swirl?!”

She was definitely getting tutoring on the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Well, um-”

“No, no, no!” I was levitated aside as Adagio rose into the air tail-first, Twilight squeezing and shaking the siren with her magic until she finally spat up Star Swirl, the elderly pony landing on the floor in a tangle of robes soaked with saliva.

“I wish that was the first time that’s happened to me,” Star Swirl said, trying to get up and failing. “Where’s my hat?”

“Do you know who that is?!” Adagio snapped. Literally. Thankfully she was still too high off the ground to actually reach anypony with her teeth. “That son of a mule is the one who banished me!”

“And I’ll do it again once I find my hat!”

Twilight wordlessly put his hat on his head.

“Ah, thank you, Princess Twilight. It will just be a moment and I’ll have this monster back where she belongs.”

His horn lit up, and I knocked his spell aside before it could hit Adagio. Twilight’s table vanished, a casualty of the deflected spell, flatware clattering to the ground.

“Everypony knock it off!” I turned my head and broke Twilight’s telekinetic hold on Adagio, the siren dropping to the ground in a heap. I got between them before either side could start trouble.

“Sunset, you said she was reformed!” Twilight’s horn was still glowing.

I wasn’t really intimidated. Twilight was a lot of things. Princess. Alicorn. Obsessive-compulsive. What she wasn’t was a pony that could beat me in a fair fight. I trotted back to Adagio and nuzzled her, kissing her snout.

Adagio sniffled and whispered in my ear. “I don’t want to be banished again!”

“You won’t be,” I promised. “I won’t let them do anything.”

“What is all this about?” Star Swirl demanded. “I was invited to lunch, not whatever this is supposed to be!”

“It was supposed to be a chance for somepony to show that they’d changed, but instead she ate one of my other guests!”

“Not completely!” I protested.

“She’s almost certainly being controlled with dark magic,” Star Swirl whispered, loudly enough that I could hear it. “This being is called a Siren, and they can control the minds of others using--”

“I’m not being mind controlled!”

“How would you know?” Star Swirl asked, looking down at me with an expression that almost made me wish I’d just let Adagio finish swallowing.

“What I know for sure is that there’ve been a few too many things that’ve been causing trouble in the human world because you put them there. Do you know how many of your mistakes I had to clean up?”

“Including this one, I assume?” He glanced past me at Adagio.

“She doesn’t even have her magic anymore,” I said. “She cares about other people. Whatever she did in the past, she’s different now.”

“Ponies don’t change,” Star Swirl muttered.

The glow around Twilight’s horn vanished. Which was good. I would have hated to have had to duel her for my love’s honor or whatever the poetic term would be for kicking my friend’s flank because she was being rude to my marefriend.

“I can see we’re not wanted here,” I said. “Dagi, let’s go.”

She nodded and we were halfway out the door before Twilight folded.

“Wait,” Twilight sighed.

I paused.

Adagio looked down to me, catching my gaze. I winked.

“Why?” I asked, not turning around. “Do you have more surprise quizzes hanging around? You’re my friend, Twilight, but I’m pretty angry at you right now.”

“She literally tried to eat somepony, Sunset.”

“I’m angry at her, too,” I said. “Just because one side is wrong doesn’t make the other one right. I learned that lesson the hard way.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Twilight said. “Star Swirl is sorry too.”

“No, I’m not,” Star Swirl said.

There was a soft thwap, like somepony being hit with a wing behind my back, and a jingle of bells, like somepony wearing a bunch of bells being smacked on the flank.

“Fine, I’m sorry,” Star Swirl muttered. “Next time I’ll make sure to apply a marinade first, since that’s the only thing I can imagine I’ve done wrong.”

I twitched an ear at Adagio.

She growled.

I cleared my throat and twitched my ear harder.

“Fine,” she spat the words out like she’d accidentally eaten them, too. “I’m sorry for reacting poorly to the pony who sentenced me and my sisters to eternal banishment.”

I nodded with approval.

“Maybe we could still have lunch?” Twilight suggested. “Somewhere else, I mean. I’m not sure where the table went. Star Swirl?”

He shrugged. “I never bothered inventing an unbanishment spell. You’ll have to look for it in the other world.”

Twilight forced a smile “How does everypony feel about a picnic?”