Apple Bloom couldn’t sleep.
She’d been tossing and turning for hours. Everything she’d learned today churned inside her mind, playing over and over.
The Pears. Granny Smith and Grand Pear. And Buttercup and Bright Macintosh.
Her parents.
She rose from the bed. There was no way she would get to sleep like this. A walk would clear her head. The Acres were always soothing at night, with the branches swaying gently overhead in the cool night breeze.
Softly, she trotted down the stairs. It wouldn’t do to wake anypony else--though for all she knew, they could be just as restless and awake as she was. Each hoofstep was slow and measured to keep the sound as quiet as possible. It was a relief to finally get out of the house, where she could walk freely on the soft earth.
She wandered aimlessly through the dark silhouettes of tree trunks. It seemed easier to think, now that her legs were moving. And the cool air cleared her head.
Her parents. She’d never given them much thought before. Of course she knew that she didn’t have any, and that the other foals did, but that had never bothered her. She had Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, and Applejack. They were more than family enough; she’d never felt the need for anypony else. And yet, now that she knew those stories about her parents, she didn’t understand how she could possibly have felt complete without them.
A large hill loomed above her, and without her conscious thought, her hooves began to climb the slope. She knew the hill well--the tallest part of the acres. She couldn't count how many picnics she'd had here with the Crusaders, with the whole orchard spread out beneath them like a blanket. The family had never planted trees on it, and it was one of the only spots on the Acres where you could clearly see the sky. She reached the top and looked up, and her breath caught in awe.
Here, above the trees and the horizon, the sky was all around her, enveloping her as if she was standing in it. The stars glittered like dewdrops in the morning. Far from the evening lights of Ponyville, they filled the sky, uncountable as the sand on the shore, spilling light down onto the world as clearly as the moon, and stretching back and back into forever. How could she have never been on this hill at night before? How had she never seen this?
Unbidden, a memory she’d never realized she had burst into her mind with the force of a flash flood. Because, in fact, she had been on that hill at night before.
A saffron-colored mare, with locks like honey tumbling down her back, stared up at the stars. She was laying down, but even still, Apple Bloom had to look up to see her face.
“What’r’ya doin’, Mama?”
The mare looked down, surprised. “Bloom? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
“Couldn’ sleep,” she muttered, rubbing her eyes. “Came out to find you. What’r’ya doin’ out here?”
“Just… thinkin’.”
“Bout what?”
“Oh, grownup stuff. Nothin’ you need to worry ‘bout.”
She looked at her mother, her eyes as large as she could make them, and just the slightest tilt to her head. “But I wanna know!”
Buttercup sighed and looked back up at the stars. “I’m thinkin’ about whether ponies who have passed on are watchin’ us. Sometimes I think they live among the stars."
Apple Bloom looked up at the sky, then back at her, puzzled. "Way up there in the sky?"
Buttercup nodded. "That’s the only place that’s beautiful enough for ‘em. And then they could look down through the stars and see what we’re doin’.”
"What fer?" Apple Bloom trotted closer, and followed her mother's gaze as it returned to the skies.
"Why, to see how we're gettin' along. And to keep us company along the way."
"Really?" Apple Bloom hadn't considered that. Ponies who were gone... they might not be gone, in a way.
"No matter where you go in your life," Buttercup said, nodding, "the stars will always be there. And maybe those ponies too, looking down. And maybe feeling just a bit proud, themselves, seeing what we're doing with all they've given us, all their lives..."
She looked down at Apple Bloom and chuckled. “Ah, you probably don’t even know what I’m talkin’ about.” She sighed. “Enough star-gazin' for now. Let’s get you back to bed.”
Apple Bloom stared up at the sky. Hundreds of stars glittered back down at her--hundreds? Thousands? Or could it be millions? And perhaps... perhaps all those ponies who'd passed on, lookin' down, watchful. And proud? She hoped so.
Were they looking at her right now?
Could she look back?
The stars were beautiful, shining above her. But she wanted to get closer. She let them hold her gaze for a lingering moment longer, the whole sky spread out all around her. Then she turned and galloped away.
She knew the path by heart, even in the dark and at high speed. Jump over the log, duck under the low branch, sharp right, slow left. She didn’t even hesitate when it came to the ladder, but took the shallow slope at a run. Her hoofbeats drummed loudly on the wood as she headed across the clubhouse, to the ramp on the other side, leading to the second floor and the telescope.
She reached the ramp... and froze.
The Crusaders didn't often go up on that section. The lookout there was too cramped for more than one pony at a time, and Scootaloo was always eager if they needed somepony to watch. She rarely set foot out there. And that ramp, outside leading up into the tree branches, was a little steep… and she would be awful high up… in the dark…
She didn’t think she could do it.
She didn't think she could do it.
"Look up there," said a voice at her shoulder, deep and reassuring. "AJ and Big Mac are already up there, waitin' on ya." She looked up at her father, smiling warmly. "Don't you want to go play too?"
She hesitated, feeling a creeping shame.
"It's all new and beautiful inside," he went on. "Perfect for playin', for restin', an' for sleepin' under the stars."
"But... but..." She took a deep breath and blurted it out. "But the ladder's so high! And so scary!"
"Aw, don't you worry none," he reassured. His hoof settled on her shoulder--big and strong, but gentle as pegasus down. "You can do it."
She looked back at her father, a nervous smile inching onto her face, and he nodded encouragingly. "Go on, you can do it! Just don’t look down. And ah’ll be right here to catch you, if'n you do fall. Not goin' anyplace, Sweet Pip!”
She nodded resolutely, and took the first few steps with trembling legs, secure in the knowledge that Daddy was right behind her. The farther she went, the more confident she felt, and the more confident she felt the faster she moved, until she found herself galloping the last few steps up the ramp.
Her siblings surged forward to welcome her and show her around. She cast a quick glance downward, and saw her father standing down below, looking up at her with a proud smile on his face.
“Don’t look down,” Apple Bloom whispered, as she took a few tentative steps. Slowly her confidence grew. She was familiar with this! She could do it! Though, that didn’t mean she wasn’t happy to reach a solid, flat floor again.
She turned the telescope to the stars and began to examine them closer. She felt connected to her parents somehow, looking at the same stars they would’ve looked at. The wonder and the magic of the heavens above drew her in. It seemed like she stood there for hours, adjusting the settings, turning the telescope this way and that, seeing everything closer, deeper.
Was it true? Were they up there somewhere? Could they see her?
Were they proud?
If they weren’t, she swore to herself, they would be. They were a part of her, after all. She might not remember them, not very much, but they’d still made her who she was. The more she could learn about them, the more they would shape her. And the more proud she would make them.
They were a part of her. She would cherish that, build on it, and show it to the world in everything she did. And then, in some small way, they would live on.
High above, among the stars, two ponies lay nestled together, looking down upon the world. Sometimes they spoke to each other--and they never seemed to run out of things to say--but often they simply watched in silence. Each others’ company was enough.
Buttercup spoke, breaking the silence. “Wonder what she’s thinkin’ about.”
Lifting his head, Bright Macintosh looked at his wife. “Us, prob’ly. She only just learned about us. Gotta be a lot goin’ through her head.”
“Mmm.” Buttercup lay her head on her hooves. “That’s the only thing I don’t like about this place. We can’t be there for her. For any of them.”
He chuckled, a low rumble. “Sugarcube, if we could, she wouldn’t be frettin’ over us in the first place.”
She sighed, acknowledging the point. They sat in companionable silence for a few more moments. Then she spoke again. “Y’know… maybe we are there for her, in a way.”
“Huh? What’d’ya mean?”
“Well… ‘member when she started that club? The Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
He laughed again. “How could Ah forget? Those three have made me ‘fraid Bloom was gonna be joinin’ us, a dozen times at least!”
She laughed too. “Well, I was just thinkin’, how you would always be the first to suggest somethin’, even if it was crazy. You were the one who started most of our dates, and you even planned the marriage. And Bloom seems to have a natural talent for leadin’ those three, makin’ things happen. She must’ve got it from somewhere.”
He looked down at her and smiled. “Well then, what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Hmm… thinkin’ about how another pony might feel, even when that pony hurt them for years? Don’t that remind you of somepony?”
“Oh, Mac, worryin’ about my own dad ain’t an act of sainthood. Bloom helpin’ that Tiara girl was ten times nicer than I’ve ever been.”
He snorted. “‘Course, silly me. It’s completely normal for a pony who’s been disowned by her own kin to be worried about them, and never the least bit bitter. Come on, Buttercup, you did as much for Bloom as Ah did and more.”
She shrugged and nuzzled into him. “Then I guess… the things in her we’re most proud of… came from us?”
He planted a kiss on her muzzle. “Guess they did.”
Another silence fell.
Bright Macintosh was the one to break it this time. “Ah wonder if she knows. If she understands how proud we are.”
Buttercup’s tail flicked, a motion that travelled down the long, amber curls like a wave. “How could we not be? All she’s done--the friends she’s made, the ponies she’s helped. And all the ponies she’s on the path to help, her whole life. As if we could be anything but proud of a filly like that.”
Bright Mac nodded. “Ah just hope she knows that. She deserves that confidence. ‘Cause that filly… is going far.”
Author's Note
As soon as I heard this song, I knew I had to write something about it. I hope this turned out good! Thanks to Lets Do This and TalkingwiththeRain for editing help. Without them, I never would have gotten past the "but what if it's not perfect?" stage and actually published this.
