Changes and Changes and Changes

by SpaghettiFP

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Alternate Universe, Other, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Profanity, Random, Adventure, Violence, Human, Main 6
Length: 4108

Walking home at night clearly is one of the most stupid decisions you’ve ever made. That only becomes even more clear when you wake up in an unfamiliar place with strange new limbs.

Walking home at night clearly is one of the most stupid decisions you’ve ever made. That only becomes even more clear when you wake up in an unfamiliar place with strange new limbs.

Haven’t you ever been taught about stranger danger? Don’t go into dark alleys, don’t approach strangers in trench coats, and definitely don’t antagonize them for offering you glow-in-the-dark stickers. You never know if they are some strange, world-bending, celestial deity of some sort that gets easily offended at insults to their precious, precious sticker-selling business and decides to punish you by slapping a sticker on you, therefore transporting you to a world filled with fun-loving equines and terrifying monsters with racial problems.

Your stupid decisions aside, at least one good thing that came out from this situation was that you at least look kinda bad-ass. However, it really does make you stick out from the generic brands of ponies in this... “Equestria” land you woke up in. Hopefully your quick (not really) wits and profound knowledge in the art of profanity, sarcasm, and unknowingly ominous statements that you blurt out of your large, now fang-filled mouth. Hopefully you don’t fuck anything up.

—

This is a changeling/centaur reader insert. I was kinda planning on making this gender-neutral, but i think it will be a bit more room for hilarity if the reader was female. It doesn’t really matter what gender you are, though, there’ll be a lot of dirty, really tasteless jokes coming in this fanfic!

Another thing!! I have literally no fucking clue how reader inserts work on this site, but i have seen some of them so i may as well use similar tags!!! Also, this is kinda a... platonic story. I mean, there’s already a shit-ton of smutty reader inserts man, may as well make a platonic one.

I apologize if you don’t have long hair, or short hair, or hair, but i decided to just get kinda... in the middle by giving ya’ll short hair before and long hair after the thing. I dont know if ya’ll care or not about this, i really just ramble a lot and i’m Nervous if i do something wrong.

The cover was created by me. The gray areas are colors that are supposed to be filled in by you, but you probably already know that. :)

Published 2018-08-26 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-08-26 06:00:01 UTC

Chapter One - A Wide, Diverse Variety of Stickers

You groaned, clutching onto a bottle of vodka(that you emptied on the ground) and a bar of chocolate, pretending to be absolutely fucking wasted as you stumbled out of the large party. Honestly, in the haze of traveling through bodies to get out before a fight eventually starts to happen, you were surprised at the amount of people packed into that small townhouse among the large, towering buildings of the city. You wavered as you stepped down the stairs. Glancing back at that hellish, horrifying place, you felt great pleasure in miraculously making it out within an inch of your life. Even as a college student, thinking that you were all high-and-mighty celebrating your 21st birthday party in the largest party you have ever been in, you were rrrreeeaaallllyyy not ready for the sights you have seen. And heard. God, you don’t know if they’re horny, or if they just don’t have any shame when it comes with getting it on upstairs.

You glared back at the offending household. You stayed there for a movement, watching the sweaty pile of bodies dance next to eachother, before a sudden gust of wind blew over your face and neck, bringing you back to reality. You shivered, glancing down at the empty bottle in your hand. You tossed it to the side into the grass, deciding to let that douche of a party host clean it up the following day. The ass deserves it after coming onto you when the other chicks at the party rejected his offers to “drink and smash”. Being offered to do something like that is one thing, but being the last to be chosen is just an insult, even if you’re not down for whatever the hell that grown-ass man has planned.

You rubbed the sides of your arms, glad to have escaped before someone got to you. Honestly, you didn’t want any guy- or gal- to get their hands on you, especially since you were a pretty attractive girl- woman. Like, you knew you were flawless, but you got high standards- very, very high standards.

You buttoned up your red jacket, wishing you wore a hoodie instead to cover up your short, (h/c) hair and your (s/c) face to keep your head protected from the chilling wind. You kept your gaze steadied around you, your eyes blinking warily at the change of lighting before adjusting to the darkness, keeping yourself keen and ready for anything wrong that may happen as you travelled down the hill, away from the townhouse, and past large buildings. You really should’ve invested in some pepper spray.

You decided to make yourself feel better in the suffocating darkness of the city, stopping under a dim light near an alleyway and unwrapping your cold chocolate bar. You, without thinking, decided to shove the entire fucking thing into your mouth in an attempt to swallow it all so you could just bite off some and swallow slowly as you walked. Instead, the bar hit the back of your throat and made you choke, spitting it out and glaring at the offending sweet treat that was now splattered on the ground, feeling betrayed, sad, and completely not better in this creepy-ass city.

Grumbles escaped from your mouth as you started to move again, but paused as you heard chuckling from the alley. “You look a bit down, dear.”

’Oh hell no,’ you thought, narrowing your (e/c) eyes and turning towards the alleyway as a gloved hand emerged from the shadows, gesturing you to come over.

“I got some stuff that you’d want, missy,” a raspy, sneaky voice uttered from the alleyway, fingers wiggling. “I’m sure they’ll make you feel way better!”

You stared, blinking. “Yeah, no offense but I don’t wanna invest in drugs right now. But, uh, im sure they’re pretty... good.” What the fuck were you doing? Why weren’t you getting the hell out of there?

“Oh no, no, no, no. These are better than drugs! They’re precious items I’m sure will bring excitement into your life!” The hand waved nervously, before returning to the gesturing movement.

“So basically drugs but under a fancier, less incriminating title?” You looked down at your wrist, faltering when you didn’t see a watch. “Fuck, I forgot it at home...” you muttered. “Look, dude, I'm pretty sure the time says I gotta get the hell outta here. I, uh, I’ll be on my way now- oH SHIT-“

The hand reached out, suddenly, cold, gloved hands lunging at you and gripping around your arms with a steel grip. It dragged you into the alleyway, an ever-present grin on the culprit’s face and the only thing you could see from under that fedora on... his... her... its head.

“Stranger danger, strANGER DANGER, STRANGER DAN-“ a finger pressed against your mouth, shushing you.

“Shhhhh, sh sh sh shhhhhhh,” the person smirked, taking out a flashlight and flicking it on. Its face was somehow still shadowed, but everything else in the alleyway was suddenly lit up. Holy shit, it was a fucking mini-store... keychains, stickers, and postcards littered the area, rusty metal stands holding cheesy and misspelled t-shirts with various stains on them, most of them copper-colored.

You blinked, shielding your eyes. “What the actual fuck-“

“Welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome, to my fantastic, beautiful, amazing, great, amazing shop!” The person stepped back, spreading its arms with excitement. It’s trenchoat fluttered behind it, showing a solid mass of dark shadow under it, split into a vaguely human-like form. “Come, come, look at my wares! I’ve just gotten a brand new installment of stickers that’ll make you giggle with glee as you stick them to various surfaces or use them to gag people that you keep in your basement! I know I sure do both!”

“What-“ you yelped as it gripped onto you again in a blur of black, dragging your over to the stands.

“Look, look, look!” They exclaimed, grinning as it pushed your head forward, your body trembling in sudden fear. ”Look!”

You tore yourself away from the person, glancing at the ruined postcards with cheesy, horribly cheesy, slogans. “Back off! What the actual fuck are you going to do to me?!”

“Going... to do.. to you?” A frown faltered on the dark face, before flashing into a grin. “I’m not going to do anything! It’s my job to make speci- to make sad people like you happy!”

You shook your head, stepping back and slamming into a wall suddenly. You groaned, rubbing the back of your head, before looking up at it with a glare.

“I just want to get out of here- look, what am I supposed to do to have you leave me the fuck alone?” You snapped, stepping forward with newfound courage.

The thing clapped its shadowy hands, each clap creating a slight burst of darkness around its palms. “Now we’re talking! All you have to do is just hand three bucks, and all your worries will be over!”

You scowled at that, but sighed. “Fin. If I have to pay you to get away, I’ll do it.” You rustled through your pockets, bringing out one crumpled and slightly torn up five-dollar bill and handed it over. “Can I get change back?”

“Nope!” A hand shot out to snatch the money away, the five-dollar bill dissapearing into the darkness enveloping its body. A dark arm swung around your neck, and pulled you over to its side. “I’ll show you my specialty product that you payed for, then you’ll be free to go! Bliss is soon to close on you, deary!”

You shuddered, both of you looking at eachother and just staring in a sparse of awkward silence. Minutes passed as one side of its face, where its left eye should be, rippled once in a while. The grin faltered as you spoke. “Uh... what are you doing?”

“I’m- I'm winking. Can’t you see it?”

“Not really, man.”

“Darn it. I forgot about that,” the grin turned into a sad, sad smile.

“Sorry,” you said, now feeling a bit of pity for this... Whatever this thing is.

“No, no, it’s fine... it’s my fault for not remembering,” they waved a hand, before clutching onto the right side of their coat and stretching both their coat and their arm at impossible lengths, making a solid wall of darkness as the rest of its trench coat stayed I place, not being disturbed in the slightest. Small, metal clips emerged from it, packets of various glow-in-the-dark stickers being visible as they hung from the entirety of its coat. “Choose one! Any one!”

You blinked, gently inching away. “N-no, I’m fine, man- I’m just gonna go,” you said, sweating feverishly. “Just take my money and leave me alone!”

“No! You can’t leave, you haven’t been shown happiness yet!” The being cried, angrily.

The sudden fury made your eyes go wide, chill tendrils of fear creeping up your spine as you stared. You then narrowed your eyes, suddenly furious. “I don’t care about your fucking wares, okay? I don’t need fucking happiness, and I don’t need any of your fucking shit stickers, asshole!” You yelled, the tenseness snapping inside of you and making you suddenly blurt out the world loudly.

Silence came in like a rushing bullet train, enveloping the both of you. The person stared, a white sliver of a frown on its face as it stared at you. The air suddenly became very thick, suffocating, even. The flashlight flickered in the distance, light turning to dark in short bursts.

“I... see...” their voice was morose, and sad. “You don’t understand true happiness and peace, do you? You have great contempt inside of you- hatred, even.” They sighed. “Explains why you don’t understand the true beauty of my wares... a sticker will make you feel better.” They reached out a packet of stickers, slowly.

You snarled, slapping the stickers out of its hand as it got close out you. “Back off!” You snapped, turning to run away.

Your legs started to move and then... stopped. Your muscles pulsed and twitched, your waist and hips and thighs attempting to force them to move, groaning as your muscles strained. Fear overwhelmed you quickly, your head snapping downwards to stare at your legs. Your sight only reached towards your knees, darkness overwhelming everything else around you. You felt the freezing cold overwhelm your forearms as they hung limply down by your sides, the rest of your body twitching and moving and thrashing as you attempted to move. You were suddenly twisted back, body flipping upside down somehow as your short hair hung downwards and bruised against the shadow-coated floor. You could barely make out the wares in the background, unable to see almost anything. You could somehow make out the dark figure of the person-thing against the dark. They always stood out against anything.

Blood slowly went down to your head as you became dizzy, the cold anger curling from the being making you sweat. “How dare you. How dare you take my offers of gifts for granted, and how dare you insult my beautiful wares! I was being generous, i was being kind, but you took everything for granted!” They hissed, leaning over and reaching out a hand as their trenchoat floated back.

Suddenly, you could see that their uncovered skin- the parts that didn’t have the trench coat, fedora, and gloves encasing them- flicker with stars and galaxies, and then images of various... scenes. Planets. Galaxies. Cities, towns, countries, states, villages, people, creatures, everything flashed against the dark expanse of their skin before returning to a deep black. Their smile returned suddenly.

“I know just the way to make you feel like I feel. This world always has sad, sad people like you, doesn’t it? I’ll bring you to a better one. A much... much better one. I’ll even give you a better form, a newer form!” It giggled. It would be sweet if their voice wasn’t so horrible.

You shivered, blinking back tears as you opened your mouth. Instead of saying something brave, something that would be the best last words that any hero could muster, you simply said,”Wait! I didn’t delete my internet history! When the police search my house, they’re gonna have to look at my computer and there’s some kinda questionable incimrinating stuff on it and I really think you’re making a-“

You froze up as a finger touched you, before a whole hand encased your cheek. The giggles became higher, before a burning, cold sensation overcame the skin of your other cheek. Did... did they just slap a sticker on you?

You didn’t have time to think about it, your gaze soon becoming blurry and your body becoming burning hot, shivering and twisting horribly as you blacked out.

➿🔻➿

Beautiful sounds of birds tweeting made you shift as you soon came back to consciousness. You groaned at the horrible pain around your body, turning over a bit. “Goddamnit, when can those fucking birds ever shut the fuck up...” you mumbled, opening one eye as you twisted your head upwards. You blinked a bit, rubbing both of your eyes and opening them wide as you stared at the blue sky peeking out from behind the green leaves and healthy branches of the trees around you.

You sat up, your body soon feeling numb and fuzzy as you looked around, twitching a bit more as you incoherently took in your surroundings. “Man, I don’t remember going camping...” you muttered, watching as animals peeked out at you, somehow intelligently as they gazed at you. You rubbed your strangely heavy head, groaning at the aching pain before faltering as you touched something... large protruding from your forehead. You traced your hand over the horn on your head, reaching your hands around the ears flickering around on the top of your heads fore looking down at your bottom half.

You screamed.

➿🔻➿

“What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck motherfucker bitch fuckfuckfuckholyshit,” The ramble of swear words, excessive for even you, merged into a ramble of gibberish, covering your fang-filled mouth and looking down at your lower half... with was that of a fucking horse. A really weird horse, actually, one covered with the damaged, black exoskeleton of an insect. Wings were on your back, for God’s sake! You turned to look at them, willing them to move and flutter a bit. They were insect like, filled with holes, and was a faded (color), the same color covering the back of the equine-insect body.

An (h/c) tail, long and thick, spilled out of your flank and piled on the ground. Your hair was made of a strange fiber, that was shiny and seemed to stick together a bit and then separate into holes around the end. Your hair now reached to below your waist, around the middle of your black fore-legs. Your skin was the same, save for some dark, armor-like chitin crawling up your back when you reached over there, as well as your shoulders. You grunted, gently moving your now claw-tipped fingers away from under your slightly dirty red jacket, glancing down at the mess that was now your shorts. And they were such good ones, too.

You closed your eyes, tightly, realizing that you were panicking. You willed yourself to calm down, taking in deep breaths and ignoring the pulsating, beating heart in your chest. “Okay... okay, so this is a dream . This is just one of those self-award, lucid dreams, and I just happen to realize it really really quickly,” you opened one eye, staring down at your hand. It was buried into the grass, fingers digging into the damp earth. It felt... so real. “No need to be so panicked, (name). Everything is okay. I’m okay. I’m fine. Great! Amazing!”

You hesitated a bit, still unsure. Could this really be a dream? After... literally everything that has transpired today? Maybe you’re just high- but then again, you would definitely remember doing drugs, and if you were high you wouldn’t think that you were high and-

Breathe. Fucking breathe, (name). In and out. In... and out. In and out andinandoutandinand.... out.

You lifted your hand, gravel and dirt dropping from your hand. One way to make sure... you reached your hand up, quickly slapping yourself. You let out a hiss, snarling. Definitely real. Fuck. And now you’re stuck here, in this forest in wherever-the-fuck-land.

You sagged, before deciding to finally move and stand on your hole-filled legs. An elbow planted into the dirt, one foreleg lifting and your other arm pushing yourself up as you moved your legs under your body. You crouched a bit, titling form side to side before getting up, stumbling back a bit. You gripped onto a nearby branch, keeping yourself steady as your flank dipped, before raising. Your knees knocked, hooves trembling in the dirt and planting themselves among the grass and small rocks. You were like a baby deer walking for the first time.

Taking in a deep breath and finally pushing yourself off of the tree, you took your first steps into this world. You grinned as you didn’t fall over, hooves tripping up a bit but successfully helping you walk. Shiiit, when you get over the whole turning-into-an-alien-insect-centaur part, you look kinda badass! You were pretty tall, towering over the woodland creatures you walked past, just raising your head and smirking as you pushed past bushes.

You confidently pushed a branch away with a hand, pulling it away and grunting as it flung back and slammed back into your chest. Your hands flung up at the stinging pain, whimpering a bit as you held your arms over your ribs and the very sensitive area that was struck as the small blow made you topple over, kneeling in the dirt as you threatened to keel over completely. Well, that moment was ruined, wasn’t it?

You grunted, rubbing your collarbone and ribs as your upper half sagged. It took about ten minutes for you to stand up again, and then five more to gather the strength and will to walk forward. You attempted to regain your composure, grunting and kicking away stones with your forehooves while looking up at the tops of the branches.

You decided to focus on what you were going to do next- maybe there are other centaur things that can help? Maybe something else, like civilization? But you would have to find out how to get out of this God-forsaken forest first...

You looked up, looking at a quite obvious and clear set of crossroads. One path lead to the rest of the normal forest, and the other led to a forest filled with pitch black and unidentifiable plants and animals. Well, you’re stupid, but your not that stupid- of course you fucking walked through the normal path, where else would you go? To your early grave? Nah, you’re destined to a way more honorable death... whatever it is.

You brushed past a few of the thorny branches ermerging from the other path, going through the normal path. Thankfully, they went straight through your hair and only pulled against your clothes only a little- however, it tore the side of your jacket a little, which was quite the pity... it was new, as well.

You stomped through the forest, not knowing how to control your hoofsteps quite just yet... or the other parts of your body. You didn’t think that the wings could be powerful enough to lift you off, or that the horn was for anything but attacking things. You already tried, anyways- the wings definitely didn’t lift you up, no matter how much you dared to jump even a centimeter and risk toppling over, as well as the power you used to flap them up and down. What else would you expect, anyways? You have to hold onto branches so you don’t fall down, for God’s sake!

You paused mid-step, ears flicking as you looked over at a scattering of bushes to one side. You walked over, looking through the leaves and blinking rapidly at what you saw. Six multicolored ponies and a singular dragon stood in a half-circle, all looking around. Two of the ponies had wings, one being a buttercream color with pink hair and the other with a blue coat and spiky, rainbow hair. Two of them were plain, regular ponies- if you could call them that. One had poofy(seriously, how the hell does that happen?) pinkie hair with lighter pink fur, and the other had a brown, wide-brimmed hat, with a blonde mane that was tied up with a red... scrunchie? Really big hair band? Whatever.

One of them was a unicorn with a flawless white coat and a clearly well done purple mane and tail that was curled lavishly. The last pony was purple, with a straight violet mane and tail with pink and light purple streaks in them. She had a horn and a pair of wings, and was levitating a paper, frowning down at it. The dragon was short, and colored in purple and green.

Of all the weird fucking things that happened you today, this really wasn’t the strangest thing. Your mind wandered back to the dark, shadow man that sent you here. Did he send you into a cartoon? It kind of feels like a cartoon, or at least some kind of kid’s show. It definitely seems family-friendly, at least. A sly smirk raised to your face at the thought of maybe messing around with them, before it dropped completely. Would they even let you walk up to them? You do look slightly terrifying, and if nice, multicolored ponies are the huge norm, then something like you may not be welcomed. You made sure to remember to accuse them of being racist if they do something like that, just to get some nervous reactions from them.

You leaned over, wanting to know what they were saying. You frowned, glancing around as they were in a clearing in between the forest and a small town in the distance. You bit your lip, shuffling forward in hope of being able to even catch a little bit of their conversation. You stepped forward, unknowingly nearing a small, jittery large brown creature with a pink tail. As you stepped on the tail, frowning for a split-second, the rat let out a screech so ear piercing that you cowered back, covering your ears with your hands as it bit your hoof and ran away. You cried out in pain, swearing and cussing.

“Fuck! How the fuck does something that small have such sharp teeth?” You cried out, looking done at the cracked and bleeding hoof, wincing at the strange green blood leaking out.

You didn't notice their attentions be brought towards your little place behind the bushes. They nervously walked over to the bushes, the purple one leaning over. You paused when you heard nearing footsteps, ears dropping as you looked up from your crouching, pained position, and was face-to-muzzle with the the purple unicorn-pegasus.

“Shit!” You cried out, stumbling back and falling over.

The purple pony fluttered her wings, stepping behind her. “Oh sweet Celestia!”

“What vulgar language!” an esteemed and confident voice gasped dramatically from behind the bushes as the purple pony stumbled back away from the foliage, terrified as you curled up against the tree.

A soft squeak came from behind the leaves, and another voice spoke up, blunt and to the point- “Just what the hay was that, Twilight?”

“I... I don’t know, Applejack,” this Twilight, probably the purple pony, stuttered out. “But it- she...” her voice lowered feverishly, you leaning against the tree and struggling to get up.

Silence washed over the area for a moment as the whispers stopped, you frowned, hoping they’ll walk away- but of course, life decides to fuck you in the ass again as the bushes were brushed away by some magical force. You, crouched down by the tree- with a probably twisted ankle, actually, if the pain in your left foreleg told you as much- as they stared at you with a mixture of fascination, hostility, and fear.

Finally, you spoke up. “Who the hell is Celestia?”

Author's Note

... want me to be honest? I don’t have a set storyline for this, hahaha... if you guys want to see anything in this story or whatever, y’all can comment that down below. I have a vague idea of what will happen.

Edit: edited this chapter up a bit, feel free to tell me how it’s like!