Solitude Among Apples

by Forthvain Chrysantox

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Drama, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Suicide / Self Harm, Rarity, Slice of Life, Sex
Length: 4278

AppleJack's loneliness thrashes her into a vicious depression.

Companion to Intoxicating Scales- From AppleJack's perspective.

AppleJack's fancied Rarity for as long as she can remember. Their paths rarely crossed before they became Elements. Throughout the years, they grew closer as they decimated threats to Equestria.

However, as danger begins to thin across the land, her life is gripped by a vicious adversary- loneliness. Which is viciously thrashed into a depression as she sees her friends less and less. Until the mare of her heated fantasies begins to stop by more often.

Could she ever work up the courage to speak to her?
What would happen after that? Rejection? A brand new path in her life?

Published 2018-09-01 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-09-07 11:33:31 UTC

Appled Dawn

AppleJack stretched, yawning as she glided past rows of fruit covered trees. Letting the sweet, tangy scent impact her mood as she began a smug trot. Smiling at the golden orange sunrise consuming the bitter blackness. A light breezed tugged on her dandelion mane and rippled across her fur and clothes. Cotton fluttered on the winds wake, looking like gray dots until their stark white was illuminated as it passed by the sun.

Her green eyes were molten peridot and leaves in deep summer, and they glinted eagerly out across the acres as she stood atop the hill. Inhaling the coolness of dawn before charging forward. Her red plaid shirt and loose jeans rippling as she increased speed, with each hoof fall her smile grew more. Until she pivoted sharply in the grass, bucking a tree with baskets underneath.

The moment her hooves touched the tree, she warmly shivered. A wave of calm overtook her as they thudded against it. And for a moment, she thought she could hear the tree whisper something indistinguishable, as well as electric tingles under the earth. Extracting them from it, the sensations were silenced, replaced by the plopping of apples against wicker and grass.

Lifting a foreleg up, she observed how many trees she alone would have to tend to today.

Always Alone a voice seethed.

She winced, as the words shocked at the corners of her mind. Pinning up her ears, she looked around, though she knew it had come from her. But it didn't sound like her voice in her head. The mare shook it off, happily bouncing among the trees with a content grin.

Unwanted Burden

AppleJack's right hoof kicked the trunk at an angle. Sharp pain exploded through it as her ankle knocked against the tough bark. Gasping, she recoiled the leg, wincing as she looked at little droplets of blood. She hadn't had an accident this bad since...well ever. Grimacing as the wound began to sting, she looked out towards the barn. Luckily she had hurt herself when she wasn't too far away, however this would set back the amount of work she could do.

Big Mac was out of town with Sugar Belle selling some of pies- the mare was almost a household name at this point. And Apple Bloom was always off doing some activity. Ignoring her sisters warnings to rest up before the college year started in a month and a half. She couldn't rightfully remember where she ran off too, only adding to her irritability.

Pulling herself back towards homes, she stopped looking out at a grave marker. Her face falling and ears dropping as she started at it. Forcing herself to tear away from it, she spat a tapestry of obscenities as her wounded ankle thunked on the ground each time.

"Granny?" she called, her drawl booming yet clear. "I had'a little accident and was wondering if-?"

Groaning, she remembered her grand mare had gone out with her great aunts up to Manehatten days ago, and would be staying up there for a few more. Hotly huffing, she dragged herself into the bathroom and began sanitizing the wound as best she could on her own. Laboriously winding a medical tape over the bandage.

"You're supposed 'a be the tough one, remember?" she chastised herself as she walked out. "Well, we won't be lettin' a little scratch harm us none."

Ripples of discomfort could be seen with each step she took as she walked back out on the farm. The sun had now clearly risen, illuminating the rows of crisp, red apples she had to get down today. Gulping, she pondered exactly how she was going to do that now. Turning around, she headed back inside, collecting herself and sat on the edge of the bath tub.

"AppleJack?" Big Mac's voice pierced the house.

Looking down she flinched when she realized she was back in bed. Though she didn't remember carrying herself there. Pinning back her ears in shame she crawled back out. Clenching her jaw when she wobbled, struggling to hold herself up. Light trembles when through her, but she made herself walk back out. Scrunching her muzzle when she looked out the window at the sunset.

"I'm'a comin'!" the mare replied, "Sorry Big Mac, I-"

She nearly bumped to him on her way out the door. Offering him a smile, but was unable to look him in the eye.

"What happened? When I got back none of the trees in the B acre were bucked."

A cold constriction overtook her torso, "I hurt myself earlier and must'a took something for it and tried to rest for a moment. I'm really sorry-"

"Me and Sugar Belle will harvest the rest of them," he said both soft and firmly. "Just get some more rest and get back to it when ya' can. If it was this bad you need more rest. You never get enough and we both know it."

Silenced, she nodded. Backing up into her room and offering him a thankful grin.

"Would you be able to help Apple Bloom tomorrow with her booth? Only with the light stuff, ya' hear? I was supposed to, but..."

"No problem."

Clamoring out of bed the following dawn she felt an immediate difference in her ankle. Dull pain lingered, but she was able to trot with ease now. Passing the still asleep Apple Bloom's room, she ambled to the barn. Sighing, she looked at the pile of wood that needed sawing and disorganized decorations that had to be thrown into the wagon.

Muttering, she got to work. Effortlessly lifting slabs of wood and cleaning up. Humming to herself throughout the labor.

It wasn't until noon after she finished that she realized Apple Bloom still hadn't come out. Stomping back inside she went into the kitchen to sate her grumbling stomach, too tired to yell for her sister. Grumbling, she prepared an egg sandwich. Absently staring out the window at the distant collapsed shed, the dirt around it transformed to glass.

Author's Note

This story is projected to get new chapters every 3-4 days! :ajsmug:

Summer Sun

"Do you think I should've brought something more practical?" Twilight grumbled, levitating a large cake box in front of her, peeking inside for the tenth time. Her blue kimono swishing inches from the ground."I usually bring one every year, but what if we have a situation again where Rainbow and Fluttershy also show up with one each? I know Pinkie doesn't mind an excess of cake, but she's also the one who took the orders."

AppleJack chuckled, the summer sun beating down harshly on their coats. "You're worryin' too much, Twi. Sounds like the opposite of a problem if you ask me, an overabundance of cake that is."

"I suppose," the alicorn smiled, "Your Apple-Brown-Bettie's steal the show every year, I have to admit. Spike doesn't mind when we come home with extra cake- usually saves some of the gems Rarity lays out to flavor it."

"I'll never forget the year Pinkie decided to try the combo- and liked it." the earth pony laughed flatly. "We should all get together more often, I really miss this."

Twilight slowed her pace on the dirt trail, head titled and brows furrowed. "You know, I think we should. Hadn't really thought how much time passes between the times I visit everypony."

"Don't go feelin' bad now, we all lead busy lives an' need time to ourselves."

"I know, it's just food for thought. Do you make time to see Rarity still?"

"Quit it, Twilight!" the orange mare blushed, "But I try. Though I think we both know she only plays for one team, so it's pointless to act like I have a chance. Which ain't too bad, 'specially since I've got you to confide in."

"It's no problem AppleJack, I understand that feeling all too well. She's just the only pony I've known you to have such a big crush on, so I can't help but tease."

"That's what friends do, an' I wouldn't expect anythin' less. Just like you shouldn't once you reveal one to me."

"You'll be the first to know, Pinkie-Promise."

"Seal it."

Groaning, Twilight took in a deep breath, "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Happy?"

"Very much so, thank you kindly, Twi."

As the two neared the castle, AppleJack's marehood began to ache. Flushing pink as her tail twitched on it's own, steadying her jaw as she disciplined her mind to focus on something else. She still hadn't recovered from the last time she'd come here.

Images of the porcelain unicorn refused to budge from her brain however. Her delicate smile as she sewed, her silvery cultured voice enunciating words to perfection, and the dress she'd worn last time she'd seen her. She'd gone to the library to find books on a new kind of fruit bat that ate buds before the fruit could grow, when she spotted her.

No doubt looking for the new Mare Amare book, a guilty pleasure the unicorn thought her friends were unaware of. In all truthfulness, she had checked it out too. Trying desperately to be a fan to have something more to talk about with her, but to no avail.

As if to torture her, she wore a tight, crimson dress on that day. Extenuating curves in her willowy form, the fabric taunting her as it danced across her silky fur with each movement. Her heart hammered as she watched the mare bend down, dress constricting around her buttocks and marehood and holding her tail high in the air.

Her own marehood burned as the unicorns perfume hit her nostrils- a sophisticated, tangy vanilla. If it were on anypony else, she would regard it as a gaudy scent, but was unique to her. And had been a birthday present she'd given her, making the alluring scent all the more flattering and meaningful.

AppleJack pondered how she'd been since then. Assuredly when they cantered in she would see work on the Winter Line already started- the best part about the Boutique was how much it smelled like her. Without perfume, she still smelled heavenly- like a carefully picked bouquet drizzled with honey.

She tried to hide the smile tugging at her lips as they stepped inside, but it didn't real right to fight it either. It was impossible not to fall into the deep, raging oceans of liquid sapphire that were Rarity's eyes. Or marvel at how careful she was when making one of her sketches come to life. Each detail no doubt pain-sakining-

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Twilight chuckled, "I know our get together's are fun 'n all, but that's not a grin I don't see on you often."

"It's nothin', just really lookin' forward to tonight with ya'll, still caught up on knowing Rarity will be there since you brought it up."

The alicorn giggled, "Get hung up all you want, I think Rarity might catch on if you show up with stars in your eyes every time you glance at her though."

"Maybe," the farm pony shrugged nonchalantly, "Doesn't matter terribly much to me. Gosh Twilight, there's more to life than mares."

Twilight rolled her eyes and scoffed, "You still going to help me put on the extra icing and toppings? Pinkie already knows what it looks like now-and thinks she will once we arrive! Ha, I can't wait to get the one up on her."

"No problem Twi, let me just grab the tools out of my bag, put 'em under the Brown-Be-" AppleJack groaned when she was unable to produce these two items out of her bag on her back. "Shoot."

"You forgot them back home, didn't you?" the lavender mare sighed, only casting her a glance.

"I'm so sorry, I really thought I'd packed them."

"It's fine. I can do it alone this year. We've done it the last three years and I think I've got the technique down. And it will be a surprise to everypony that way."

AppleJack galloped towards the farm, hooves pounding against gritty paths. Her red plaid shirt rippling in the wind, dandelion mane shining as bright as the sun. Bursting inside she scooped up the desserts, spinning on a heel and running back the way she came.

She effortlessly jumped over a low fence- a short cut that lead right to the Boutique. Wincing when she landed firmly on her still sore ankle, pinning back her ears. Taking a deep breath, she shook it off, charging forward once again.

Running through the rabbit bitten trails of Sweet Apple Acres, she felt her muscles relaxing, slowing to a fast trot. Admiring the way the light fluttered through the trees, illuminating specks of dust whirling through the early evening air. The ripe scent of apples and summers leaves intoxicating.

Looking to her left, her eyes widened. Plodding up the trail leading to the Acre's was none other than Rarity. Sharply inhaling, she forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat and gather her composure. Cantering friendly her way, waving and calling to her.

"I do apologize AppleJack, I know this is sudden. I just let my hooves carry me somewhere, and before I knew it I ended up here. Must've been the apple pie Apple Bloom was serving my Twilight's castle. That and I have missed you terribly." the unicorn drawled, making effort to suddenly twirl her hips to swish her tasteful cherry dress.

The orange mare clumsily grinned, "No need t'poligize. It's great seein' you again. Would you like to walk back with me?"

"That sounds resplendent dear. You know, I remember when we used to walk Apple Bloom and Sweetie with us every year like this. Hard to believe they're old enough to get jobs and worry about adult affairs."

"I can't believe it either," AppleJack chuckled, "Fillies one minute, College FreshMare's the next!"

The pair continued down trails, lightly chatting as they passed trees.

"Applejack?" Rarity breathed sheepishly, "Do you....? Oh heavens, forget it."

Raising an eyebrow, the orange mare looked inquisitibly at her.

"It's too embarrassing to ask."

Applejack furrowed her brow and cast a beady, concerned stare at her. "Rarity, you can ask me anything, don't be embarrassed."

"Yes, well it's...Do you ever get...lonely?"

Her blood turned to ice. An emotional battering ram pounded into her chest, but she didn't show it.

"In what way?"

"You know...romantically. In an...intimate sense."

The ice in her veins transformed into boiling lava.

"Ooh?" she piped up, blushing, "Well now, um, I suppose so? There any cryptic message in there, Rarity?"

The unicorn shook her head, "No, sorry Applejack. I didn't mean to be so invasive. It's just...been getting a little hard for me is all. Feeling alone and feeling I am alone in feeling that way."

Applejack chuckled, "Well now, ya' ain't alone in that, if that makes you feel better."

Rarity sighed, "Thank you Applejack. That makes me feel a lot better. It's been so long, you know. Has...it been long for you?"

The farm horse scrunched her muzzle and twitching her tail, "Rarity, I don't know if- Yeah, it's been a long time for me too. Years."

"Me too, thank you again."

Grass under-hoof turned into gravel. The breeze tugged on the twosome, cotton floating with it, dancing in the final moments of daylight. Choruses of ponies getting ready for the Summer Sun festival sounded around them as they paced throughout the town towards the Boutique.

Unable to help herself, she glanced at her friend. Noticing how tense her shoulders were and her unfocused gaze. Her mane not as elaborately done as it usually was.

"You been okay Rarity?" Applejack suddenly asked. "I know how that kinda thing can get to you. 'Spically since we don't see each other like we used to. I can imagine it gets a little...maddening just sewing inside all day."

"I'm fine 'Jack, though your concern really does help."

"Can you fit in a spa day this weekend? Say Saturday?"

Rarity threw an enthusiastic smile her way, "Truly? Why of course!"

Bells chimed overhead as they entered the dimly lit Boutique, immediately being hit with the scent of various foods.

"We're here!" Rarity sang, rushing off into the kitchen where all their friends were assembled.

Rolling her eyes, she began to follow- gasping as she was ambushed by a pink blur. Hooves wrapping around her, and squeezing every ounce of air out of the orange mare.

"AppleJack! How've you been?"

"I-I've been fine!" she gasped through the thick scent of sugar and flour, trembling in shock, slowly returning the embrace,"Yourself?"

Pinkie released her, moving her head with every other syllable, "Just fine? I've been okay I suppose. Are those the Brown-Betties?"

"Oh, yeah." she replied flatly, offering her the slightly crumpled package.

The pink earth pony rubbed her neck, "Sorry AppleJack, I'll be more careful next time. But thank you for bringing the crown jewel on the feast table every year."

"I dunno Pinkie, your lemonade's nothin' to sneeze at. I think drinks are more important at a Summer Sun Celebration."

"Day-Before-To-Avoid-Tomorrows-Calamity-Summer-Sun-Celebration-Celebration you mean!"

Blinking twice, she nodded. "Yeah, speakin' of drinks- did you-?"

"It's on the very end of the table," Pinkie smiled, tugging on a blue sleeve on her t-shirt. "'Dash's already broke into it, couldn't fend her off."

"Don't sweat it, thanks for goin' out of your way."

Ambling into the kitchen, Rarity's protests from Pinkie Pie cannon balling her into a hug. She couldn't help but feel jealous as she watched Rarity return the hug, but smiled and how cheered up she looked. Pouring herself a small amount of scotch and collecting a slice of cake. Surprised to see only a little of the liquor emptied.

"Hey A.J.!" a voice rasped behind her, "How've you been?"

"I've been alright, 'n you?" she replied.

Rainbow fluttered in air, notably wobbling when she turned, "Good, good. Look, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the spa with me this weekend. I clipped a wing on a flag pole about two weeks ago and it did something to my shoulder. We haven't really done anything in a while, so I thought that would be something chill."

"This weekend?"

"That's right, you're probably busy already planning stuff for the Reunion. How about Friday?"

"I can do Friday. How've you been feelin' Rainbow? For real?"

The pegasus tilted her head, landing in front of her. "I've had enough distractions from it. Maybe we should talk about this later? Don't wanna put a damper on the anniversary of when we all met, right?"

"I suppose. Not all of us met on this exclusive day though."

"You been feeling alright there?"

Sighing, she gave her a soft grin. "We'll talk about it on Friday."

Nodding, the pegasi took off. Leaving her awkwardly standing there, nibbling on her cake. Trotting over to the chatting group that had begun to lay on the floor. Joining in on the conversations, feeling her own spirits rise. Shuffling closer to a particular white unicorn, sipping down her drink.

Grinning as the gift exchange begun, eyeing Rarity hopefully as she unwrapped the book she'd gotten her- half sure it was by a leading fashion designer from Saddle Arabia. Melting when she declared it her favorite of the evening. The plush green dog she received from the white mare was also her favorite. Emptying the fourth cup, a calming warmth spread through her body, relaxing her mind.

"We really need to get together more often you guys." Rainbow Dash voiced, already wearing the saddlebag Rarity had laboriously made for her.

"Should we walk out to the Everfree?" Twilight cooed airily, swirling a lemonade, "To get closer to the Elements that connected us?"

"But Twilight, if we do that we will be too tired to watch the sun rise." the Fluttershy murmured.

"Most of us watch the sun rise every day 'Shy." Rainbow contested.

"I personally think it's an excellent idea." Rarity announced, struggling onto her knees. "Something we all used to do."

"You're right!" Pinkie reflected, jumping up. "When did we stop doing that?"

"Li'l after the School Opened I supposed," tiredly sighed Applejack, "We all had so much goin' on scheduling became impossible."

"I'm sorry girls," Twilight said, looking out at them with doleful eyes, "I should have realized. We all really have drifted apart, haven't we?"

Rarity's eyes stretched up, mouth slightly open in astonishment, soon spreading into a smile. "Oh girls, this can always be fixed."

"Huh huh, yeah," Applejack hiccuped, "Rarity needs company more than ever." The mare realized how that came out and pinned back her ears in guilt. "Oops, sorry Rare."

Everypony glanced, bewildered at her, and then towards Rarity with concern. The farm pony feeling like a lead ball dropped in her stomach.

Forcing a smile, the unicorn growled under her breath, "It's true I suppose."

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy demanded, getting back up and offering to put a wing around her, "Has something happened?"

"Well, no, not exactly. That's the problem."

"Say what now?" Pinkie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Then what is it? You can tell us, you know that." Twilight lightly touching one of her hooves.

"I've just been-" the mare winced, floundering syllables and irises dwindling to pinpricks.

"Rare's been feelin' lonely and hasn't been intimate in a while." Applejack spat out, immediately jamming a hoof over her mouth in shame.

Silence grew like mold in the room before a few giggles broke out. She pushed herself against her apologetically. Twilight put another hoof onto the one and gave her a bright smile.

"I think it's been a while for most of us, right girls?"

"Eeyup." Applejack chuckled, holding up a hoof.

Quiet consumed the room once more as the other three rubbed their necks guiltily.

"Well, I mean it's been a few months for me." Fluttershy admitted.

AppleJack felt a coldness envelope her again. Quickly chugging down another cup to fight back the stinging.

"It really doesn't matter."

"Rarity..." Twilight breathed, a tinge of sadness on her face, "I-"

"Twilight, it really is okay. There is more to like than that. Besides, how could I feel lonesome in a room filled with all of you? My best friends."

"Oh you." Pinkie Pie cried, shoving herself through to give her a hug around the neck. "We'll make sure to check up on you and eachother, right girls?"

"Right!" they all said in unison, laughing once more.

"Been a while since we've done that." Rainbow snorted through her egg salad sandwich.

"I think it would be a marvelous idea to get to that tree posthaste however." Rarity announced, "And perhaps watch the sunrise by the Tree of Harmony?"

Nodding they all clambered to their hooves. Applejack stumbled a little, before bumping back into Rarity. She smiled bashfully at her.

"Sorry 'bout that. And sorry about earlier."

"Don't be darling. It was a lot harder to get it out to a room full of ponies. And I think it ran much more smoothly than it would have if you allowed me to bumble there and I would've been prodded with uncomfortable questions."

"Well, here's to hopin' the both of us are prodded with something else here soon."

"Oh Applejack, you dog you."

Trotting outside into the cool stillness of night, they looked up at the jeweled sky. Rainbow Dash flew overhead, orange t-shirt rustling in the breeze, the two making eye contact every now and then.

"I thought Spike was supposed to be here by now?" Fluttershy whispered.

"You're right, I am a little worried." Twilight said, beady eyed. "I'll teleport to the castle to see if he accidentally went there. You guys keep going, we know where to meet you."

With that Twilight was gone in a magenta flash, crack echoing off Rarity's home and trees.

"You heard the Princess, lets get a'goin'! Yee Haw!" AppleJack said, attempting to rear up, falling back down only half way. Contents in her gut swishing.

The five glided past the town and into the Everfree forest. The cool of damp vines and crunching of broken tree trunks seeping satisfaction through here. Paying little mind to flecks of sunbaked mud clinging to her hooves.

Lightly chattering between Pinkie and Dash, she remained mostly quiet. Listening to the two talk about their lives and passions. The pain in her ankle began to intensify, feeling unsteady the more time passed. The moon hung low by the time they arrived at the stairs. Grateful as she felt a body beside her steady her way as they descended.

Twilight surrounded a plush blanket with her magic, spreading it on the ground. Scattering pillows about- each the color of the owners coat. The crystalline tree scintillated in the little light of night; Elements emanating softly, casting pools of light from each on the ground. Thicket bound crickets chirped a light melody. The gorgeous sight relaxing her muscles, she collapsed onto the blanket.

Lowering her head, deeply nuzzling a pillow, her heavy eyes struggled to stay open. The company of her friends and the tranquil surroundings weighing down on her. Rainbow nudging her every time she almost nodded off, all looking expectantly at the sky.

AppleJack was unable to stay awake to watch the sunrise however, hearing the joyous gasps from her companions more beautiful than any dawn.

Author's Note

I apologize for the longer wait every one! Thank you so much for your amazing patience! I will do my absolute best not to fall behind this much!