You'll Always Be First
By Howling Wolf
Always from the back I were I stood, watching her with ease as she was introduce to us. Many guards tried to attack, but were shielded off, and I could only stare at the smaller Princess, many looked to me trying to figuring out why I didn't join up the attack when I usually would. How could I? If what we were told was true, then who was I to say otherwise? Besides, she doesn't look like she could harm a fly. She looked harmless and it was something about her that made me think our Princess was telling the truth about the newest one.
When she grew into her state of maturity, it was on the fourth night or so when she rose the moon back up and the stars danced again and again, still shining proudly at their original raiser was back and was always going to be there for as long as they could live on. I'm at the back again, watching with my mouth open, still loving the display that went on, it was on my night shift. It was then I realized how much I loved seeing her raise the moon and allow the stars to come out and dance away.
Seeing Shining Armor and Princess Cadance get married, made me look over to see many ponies dancing away with their chosen partner. I see the elements of Harmony dancing as well. There's Rarity with Applejack(after Fancy Pants left to dance with somepony else), Twilight and Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow with Fluttershy. The rest of the guards don't dance, they just watch in case something goes down, they're mainly watching the princesses. Looking at Princess Luna like she'll turn into Nightmare Moon again.
I slowly make my way towards her and guard her from behind, glaring at all guards who gave her such looks, and they look away. Like I'm the bad guy and they don't want to mess with me for anything. For once, I growl and point my hoof to tell them to guard the entrance, to make sure no one tries anything. Can never be too careful after all.
“I wish to be a Lunar Guard, your highness.”
The princess of the day looks at me with an expression that makes me wonder if she senses I have a crush or something on her sister, but she stills closes her eyes and opens them like I would've changed my mind. Her eyes are sparkling like she knows something is up. I wonder if it's true.
“State your reason why, Rough Pen.”
The reason I give is simple, I explain how I wish to protect her sister not during the day when she's awake for a short time, but for the whole night. I can stay wide awake to protect her if I can have the Lunar Guard position, I know I should be asking Luna herself, but it's always a good chance to ask Princess Celestia herself before I go on asking Luna.
She smiles and nods, allowing me to change my position, and the other guards in the room give me a look of wonder and craziness. It's not crazy if you're doing this for somepony you... okay, for somepony you love. I said it. Any pony happy with that?
It's not insane that I love her, I mean, look at Shining Armor and Princess Cadance! They're married, and maybe they've known each other from their younger years, and maybe Cadance babysat Twilight Sparkle, they still made it work and began dating and eventually got married. It's not insane to love a princess, everypony does it at some point, some are just lucky to be with them.
A part of me wishes to be that lucky.
“First lunar shift, eh? Good luck.”
A day shift guard told me with his golden armor while I'm now in a more darker armor, giving to me by Princess Luna herself. She always has to make sure her guard's armor fits perfectly, and mine did on the first try. I got extremely lucky to be able to see her up close without a single interruption.
“Your highness... may I ask you a question?”
“Go ahead.”
“May I be your personal guard?”
“.... What?”
My voice vanishes when I realize what I just asked the princess of night herself, I feel like she'll kick me out at any moment. Ordering me to stay away from her. She never had a personal guard and that's one who stays with her whatever the reason. They don't leave her side unless she's in her bedroom and wishes not to be disturbed. It's a high rank and not a single guard has gotten it yet.
Until I asked that was.
“I asked if I may be your personal guard. With all do respect, I've seen how others looked at you, they still haven't gotten over... the other mare you were. I have.”
“When did...?”
“The moment I realized that mare was long gone was the first day I saw the moon rise so perfectly, never have I saw Princess Celestia raise the moon without having to make the stars appear first. You're always on time, and sometimes she is not, always with the work and day court, you put the moon first because you know it's important. You know what it's real purpose and story is. Because you are its story, and its purpose. Without you, it would be nothing.”
I feel like I just insulted Princess Celestia more than I should, but I mean, no one could've raised the moon without making the stars appear first. It was usually the first thing I saw as a colt, stars first, then the moon and I always got confused without doubt.
Right away I felt stupid when she looked at me, her eyes were wide, and mouth was slightly opened. Did I accidentally insult her without knowing? I swear if I did, then I ruined my chances with her without knowing while talking about it all, and I gulped a little, shifting within my armor.
“... That was ...”
She trailed off, and I realized, maybe I didn't insult her as I thought. Maybe I gave her a whole new reason to see me in a different light than she was used to seeing me in. We've known each other since she came back because I said hello the first day after she returned and showed her around, making sure she got breakfast and we became friends shortly after.
I just didn't speak to her a lot when she was dragged away by her sister, something about her duties.
“Er, I didn't straight up insult you, did I?”
“No, we... we didn't find that insulting.”
“Good, I didn't want to insult you...”
A chuckle escaped her lips.
“But we do find the part about our sister making the stars appear first funny. She should know better.”
“She was fine after the first little while, every so often it happened again, and I swore so many ponies were confused and wondering what was going on with the night sky.”
In the end, she was happy to allow me to be her personal guard during the night. I went everywhere she went, guarding her and speaking her like old friends, and many guards found it to be strange or even became jealous. Of course, it was just the Lunar Guards, not the day time guards.
While I was her personal guard, I got to know her better, found what out she liked the most, what she didn't, and what she feared the most.
She hated how she might be forgotten again, and forced back into Celestia's shadow like she was back then, a thousand years ago, and a part of me was angry that no one saw how lonely she was. How could they not notice her like that? Maybe if I was alive back then, I would've been there and helped through it all.
Like a friend should.
“How are you not scared out of your mind, yet? Surely she would've made you scared of her!”
I'm with my old friends who guard Celestia in the day, and they talked about my friend. The very one who I'm the personal guard of, and they think I'm scared of her? They should really spend more time around her to see how she isn't like what they believe.
She's actually just like Celestia if you get close to her, she'll act like a mother, and always think of when something should be done right or wrong, she'll do whatever she can to maintain the friendship between her and someone, and it's wonderfully to see.
Wonderfully to be a part of.
“She's not scary, and she isn't mean.”
“What? How!? We've all heard the tales about Nightmare Moon! Surely this is all just an act.”
I want to slam something down on his face for talking about my princess like that.
“Maybe you should get to know somepony before going off and judging them! Besides, those tales, are just a filly's story. They ain't real for anything! Do you understand?”
“Wow, dude, it sounds like you're in love with her.”
I take a sip from my drink and slam it down on the table in the break room, my golden eyes looking right at my drink. Some of it landed on my pale hoof. Barely on my dark fur. My white and black mane fell a little over my eyes, I'm not wearing my headgear.
“I found out a long time ago when I thought more and more about what I was feelin' around her.”
“Excuse me?”
“What? Is it wrong for one to fall in love with a friend? Much less if said friend was a princess?”
“You... you're in love with Princess Luna?”
Now the room is dead silent, with all guards looking at me. Celestial and Lunar, they're all looking right at me, waiting to hear my answer to my friend's question.
I take another sip.
“Yup.”
I'm drunk.
I know it. He knows it. The whole castle knows it when they look at my face to see me looking down at the drink, my mane covering my golden eyes, a small grin on my face. Probably looking like an insane pony who just lost his mind or one who's about to do something bad.
But I'm not.
Every pony knows it.
“Then... go tell her.”
I look at the newest Captain who was picked just a few weeks ago. I was told if I hadn't changed my position, I would've gotten it. I didn't care, for I did not want it.
“She'll reject me.”
“I don't think so! You two are friends, aren't you?”
“You all insulted her a few moments ago, and as her personal guard, I could tell her and she could deal with you all. Or she could allow me to do something about it.”
A guard shook it off and pointed her hoof at me.
“Go and tell her!”
Another sip of my drink, and they all stare at me, waiting for when I nod and head to find Luna, but I don't go, so they all look at me like I'm crazy for not going.
Then one threatens me.
“If you don't tell her, Rough, I'm going to find her and tell her myself. Then we'll see how much trouble you'll be in for loving her and never telling her yourself.”
“You're threatening me.”
“I suppose I am. Are you going to risk not telling her?”
“... but I'm drunk ...”
A Lunar guard rolls her eyes and gives me a scowl. I upset her, every pony knows it by the look on her face, and I suddenly feel like I'm being ganged up on.
I guess my actions suddenly make sense to them.
“You protected her from day one! You didn't attack her when we were first introduced to her, you stayed away. You guarded her from the back at the royal wedding. You did it all because you love her! Now, go and confess! Plus, you aren't drunk! It takes you several drinks to become drunk!”
“And how do you-”
“We all went drinking together on our days off! You're the last one to get drunk!”
They got me there, so I sigh and place down my drink, I grab my headgear and trot away to find Princess Luna. Hoping to god they aren't following me, and they are. I hear them, I see their glares and I know, they're going to back me up for this. Ain't going to get out of this one now.
I find her speaking with her sister, I tightly hold my headgear in my hoof. I don't have magic or wings, just a normal earth pony who might be rejected by a princess. What a great thing to feel! Not really...
They both notice me, and Celestia says her goodbye to her sister, muttering to make her happy and leaves, I feel scared. Right. I might have Celestia as in-law if this goes good and we start dating. What a good thing to have, since she's really protective of her sister.
Drunk or not, every pony could see that.
“Hello, your highness.”
“No need for formalities. Luna is just fine.”
Right...
We're friends anyway!
“Luna, may I ask you a question? I need to get something off of my chest.”
She gives me a look but she nods anyways.
“Thy may.”
“Look, um, is there anypony who... you might like? In a sense that's more than just friends, y'know?”
“There is.”
Probably not me in a long shot, I mean, come on! Me? With a princess, every pony might laugh at me and call me a total fool for being something like that could happen. But... every guard seems to be... supporting me on this.
“May I ask who is it?”
Don't deny me...
I want to know, want to see who I need to rival against for my love. To know what I need to do to be able to win against the pony who dares to love you beside me.
“We... we are not comfortable saying his name.”
“I understand.”
“Only because we fear he will not be able to return it.”
Oh...
Well, that was a huge understandable! I got what she was feeling, and it's normal, since a lot of ponies feel like that when they love somepony else. I guess it's just a matter of time before they're rejected and found out, it can cause a lot of things to happen.
“Why do thy ask?”
“Oh, I was... curious about it. You know, I thought maybe.. ”
And this was sounding like a love confession already. Great job, Rough Pen. Just what she wants to hear out of your mouth so suddenly.
“Maybe... what?”
I nervously play with my headgear in my hoofs, I'm sitting down, and gazing away from her face. I hear her give a small gasp, she suddenly realizes what I'm getting at. Can't wait until I hear the word 'no' right to my face. Just waiting for the moment when she gets it over with.
“How long have thy...?”
“P-Probably since the day you were introduced to us, and I knew how strange it was to see another princess so suddenly. But something about attacking you seemed wrong, just like thinking you may have been up to something when really you were just as scared as us like we were of you. And... and... when you first raised the moon, I was outside, getting ready to head home when I saw it. It only was a matter of time when I realized I loved seeing you raise the moon.”
Going on about how it took me so long to realize how much I loved her, was something I wished never happened, because every reason, she gave a tiny blush and looked away from her before looking back at me. When the choice about being a Lunar Guard came up, it was probably the most reason I never thought I would say.
Because becoming a Lunar guard was not just to protect her day and night, how I was doing it because I loved her, but because I couldn't sleep at night knowing something might happen to her, and I would probably feel it like it would my fault for not being there.
I didn't want that feeling.
“So.. you see, it wasn't my choice falling in love with you. It just happened, and... to be honest, I was shocked at first before I realized, I didn't want to be in love with anypony else.”
“What happens if thy realizes our sister is the more better choice in a princess?”
Somehow, my heart stopped and I was angry she suggest that.
“That won't happen. I promise.”
“How does thy know?”
“Cause even if they believe she should be first, you'll be first for me. No one can tell me otherwise.”
She stared me a moment longer before giving a nod, and I realize, how much she'll need convincing that I'll never leave her. How much Celestia could come second to me, and how much she'll be first for me. There is nothing in the world that could change my mind about her.
Anyone who suggests that she be second in my eyes, will be on my enemy list without doubt and I make a move to hug her.
My headgear falling on the floor with a sound, but I don't care.
She hugs me back, and I smile warmly. This is all I wanted. Her. She always going to be first, no matter what anypony tells me, you can't allow me to listen to your reasons about Celestia being first because Luna is the one who I think should be first.
“One more thing, Luna.”
“Yes?”
I take a deep breath before asking.
“... Will you be my marefriend?”
“Yes.”
It warms my heart at that answer, and I know the guards who wanted me to do this are smiling before heading back to the break room and telling the others. For once, I don't care what they think, what they think about us, because I know I got the one thing I wanted most in life.
Her.
