Ever have one of those mornings where you look in the mirror, and you're suddenly not quite sure if it's you looking back?
The lavender alicorn Twilight Sparkle stared blearily at her own sleepy face. There was something about the eyes. Something more than the baggy look she got from falling asleep with her snout mashed into a binding again. Something... watchful.
"Ugh." She shook her head, ran some water to splash on her face. "I used to be able to handle all-nighters like this! What's changed?"
It wasn't that she was getting old. Now that she was an alicorn Princess she was essentially ageless, barring the slow progression in body size that would one day have her being Celestia's equal in stature. And she still felt able to handle a sleep-deprived morning once in a while, without tipping over the edge into one of her stress-induced freakouts.
But something was different this morning.
She trotted back out to the map room in her palace, and to her seat at the map table, where a number of books and scrolls were spread out. She sat down, and then pulled over the book that she'd woken up in.
And remembered why she'd been reading it. It was the book they had found in her old library on the day show-pony Trixie had returned with the Alicorn Amulet around her neck, ready to challenge Twilight to a magic duel. The book described the Amulet's history and powers, and it had helped them fool Trixie into removing the Amulet, bringing her back to her old self again.
Spread around the book were several other texts: Starlight's history of Our Town, the community Starlight had founded and then turned into a mini-cult; Twilight's own report on Sunset Shimmer, Princess Celestia's renegade student; a scholarly analysis of the Confused Era, when the chaos-spirit Discord had ruled Equestria; and several volumes of the Unabridged History of Equestria, covering the period leading up to when Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon.
"Bleah!" Twilight said to herself. "No wonder I'm feeling paranoid. Gotta remember to add something light to doze off in."
A small purple dragon wandered into the room, carrying a tray of tea and toast in his claws. "Morning, Twilight!"
"Hey, Spike!" Twilight smiled. Nothing brightened her morning quite like her friend and Number One Assistant.
"Figured you might want something light to start with." Hopping onto his smaller chair next to hers, Spike set the tray down in easy reach, and then surveyed the collection of documents. "Huh. Still goin' through this old stuff?"
"Yep. I've been reading up on the ponies -- and others -- who we've helped come around to friendship again."
"Cool! Uh... why?"
Twilight grimaced uneasily. "You remember I told you about how Starlight helped the Princesses with their... uh, friendship problem?"
"Yeah! And how Starlight dreamed that Nightmare Moon had returned, and was battling a twisted, evil version of Celestia herself... Daybreaker, right?"
"I see reading those Power Ponies comics has helped you with remembering names, huh?"
"Twi!"
"Sorry, Spike. Well... I was just wondering... why did Starlight dream about Nightmare Moon anyway? When Luna returned, Starlight was off running Our Town. And where did Daybreaker come from? I mean, everyone knows how patient and kind Celestia is. Why would Starlight dream up something like that? The more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense. And I got to thinking: what if the two of them weren't Starlight's dream at all? What if they were in her dream, because at the time both Celestia and eventually Luna were dreamwalking in it?"
"You mean Nightmare Moon was Luna's nightmare? And... Daybreaker was Celestia's?"
"Got it in one, Spike! Now I can understand Nightmare Moon being there. That memory has haunted both Celestia and Luna herself ever since Luna's return. But where did Daybreaker come from?"
Spike shrugged. "Maybe Celestia has nightmares she doesn't like to talk about." He climbed down from the seat. "Be right back, gotta finish making breakfast. Pancakes all right this morning?"
"Sure. And I don't even need little smiley faces on them. Just stack 'em up high, with plenty of syrup."
"You got it!" Spike hurried off.
Twilight smiled after him. It was nice having a friend like Spike to deal with, first thing in the morning.
Then her thoughts turned back to Celestia and Luna. And that made her recall the Journal of the Two Sisters. Maybe reading through it again would give her some insight... though she had to admit she'd glanced through it often enough that she'd be surprised to find anything new in it.
She looked around for it, then spotted it on the bookshelf where she'd left it last. She used her magic to bring it over and lower it onto the table before her, being careful of the fragile binding. She paged quickly through the early sections on the coronation, the old castle, and the Princesses' early conflicts with the manticore and the griffons. Then she got to the section on recovering the Crystal Heart from the dragon who had stolen it. And realized what it was she'd been looking for:
... Celestia was always the patient one of us, the prudent one, but in this case the creature had gone too far. For it to speak to her with such casual disregard, and not even out of malice but sheer indifference -- this she would not tolerate! All at once, Celestia blazed with fire, her anger projecting out from her in waves of immolating heat, her unleashed Voice filling the air: WHO ART THOU TO ADDRESS US SO? WE ARE NO MERE PONY! WE ARE THE PRINCESS CELESTIA, ABSOLUTE RULER OF THE LANDS OF EQUESTRIA! BE WARNED! YOU TRIFLE WITH US AT YOUR PERIL!
Twilight sat back, alarmed. She recalled the times she herself, in a fit of frustration or shock, had literally blazed with fire, totally unaware she was doing it at the time. And the same thing had happened to Princess Celestia?
There wasn't much after that in the journal, just the section on how the Princesses got their cutie-marks by taking on the raising and lowering of the Sun and Moon. It seemed an odd way for the journal to end. Years of entries detailing the events of the Princesses' rule, and then a few quick pages that amounted to "Well, we got our cutie-marks! That's all! Thanks for reading!"
Twilight turned back to the page about Celestia's anger.
And then she did notice something she had completely missed before. A small ripped edge of paper in the binding. There was another close to the top of the book. And hints of others... as if several pages had been torn out.
She flipped back a page, to see who had written the entry about Celestia. It was Luna.
Twilight immediately decided an audience with the Princess of the Night was in order. And if she hurried, she might just catch her before she turned in for the day.
"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, your Highness."
"Luna, Twilight." The Night Princess yawned, clearly tired and ready for bed, yet awake enough to smirk at Twilight's habitual deference.
"Sorry -- Luna. It's just that... well... I was reading through the Journal that you and Celestia wrote, and got to the section on the raising and lowering of the Sun and Moon. And re-reading it, it didn't make a lot of sense. I mean, come on! We all know you don't have to drain the magic of five unicorns every morning and evening to make it all work."
"That is true," Luna allowed, her voice flat and even. Suddenly she was looking wide awake... and more than a little uncomfortable.
"Then I noticed this." Twilight showed her the torn edges. "And it's right after the passage you wrote about Celestia facing down the dragon."
"Ah." Luna nodded. "That is certainly... odd. Is it not?" Luna clearly wanted to evade the question. And as usual, was terrible at hiding it. She sighed.
"You are correct, Twilight Sparkle. We decided to remove those pages and conclude the Journal as quickly as possible, with a brief recap of how we acquired our marks. Clearly, we could have been more creative in our final entries, made them more believable. But at the time, we felt it was best to simply put the whole matter behind us."
"But why?"
Luna looked sour. "It is not something we like to dwell upon. But, since you have now asked, it would be unreasonable not to satisfy your curiosity. As the Journal states, in dealing with the dragon Celestia uncovered an unexpected source of anger and arrogant pride within herself, which drew on her developing affinity with the Sun and its power. It threatened to overwhelm her and for a time was all but unmanageable, with grave and harmful consequences for all of us until she was finally persuaded to free herself of it."
"So," Twilight asked, amazed, "Daybreaker... was real?"
Luna drew back. Her eyes narrowed disapprovingly.
"I do not think," she said evenly, "that I should be the one to answer that question."
Celestia sighed. "No, it's entirely proper for you to ask, Twilight. Though I'd hoped the subject would never come up. Yes, I did lose control for a time, and it was thanks to Luna that I came to my senses again. And no, I didn't go around calling myself "Daybreaker" at the time -- I lack Luna's flair for the dramatic. Still, I was not surprised by the name coming up in Starlight's dream. I chose it for myself long after the... ahm, incident... as my attempt to put a name to the thing that I became."
She looked so remorseful that Twilight automatically put out a hoof to touch Celestia's -- and then remembered who it was she was comforting.
"No one is perfect, Twilight," Celestia said, nodding to acknowledge the gesture. "Not even I... sooner or later, we must each make our peace with the power that is granted us, for better or worse. Even absolute power does not always corrupt absolutely -- witness how well I managed it for the thousand years of Luna's absence. Yet learning the limits of one's self-control can be a hard lesson -- a very hard lesson. And it's also a very personal lesson, one we each learn in our own way."
"So..." Twilight swallowed. "What you're saying is that, eventually, at some point... I might really just lose it? I mean, I know I've occasionally flipped out and gone overboard..."
"I'm reminded in particular of a certain young unicorn who realized that she was late with a homework assignment."
"Eeeyeah, like that. But... am I just going to go off the deep end? Become like Chrysalis, or Sombra? To the point where I really start hurting ponies, even those I care about, until someone is able to talk me down from it?"
Celestia smiled reassuringly. "It is always a possibility, and one you should be on your guard against, now that you're an alicorn. However, I feel certain, even if it came to that, you have sufficient strength of character and honesty with yourself to realize it in time. And then make the right choices."
Twilight wasn't so sure. But rather than debate it with the Sun Princess, she simply nodded, smiled, and left it at that.
But she still had to settle this, one way or another. And there were a few other sources she could consult.
"Uh..." Starlight looked uneasy. "Why are we bringing all this up again? I thought the whole point of my Friendship lessons was to help me make a fresh start? You know, stop bringing up how I enslaved an entire town, brainwashed a bunch of ponies, stole everyone's cutie-mark, that kind of thing?"
"It's not you," Twilight reassured her, as they walked along the castle corridor together. "It's me. I've found myself honestly wondering what would happen if I ever went down that route."
"You? Uh... the Princess of Friendship Magic?" Starlight rolled her eyes. "The pony who's taught me everything she knows about treating other ponies as friends? The poster child for the "I'm a Good Pony, and So Can You" motivational calendar?"
"Starlight."
"Kidding! It's just..." Starlight stifled a laugh, and it came out as a snort. "You're always so sure of yourself! What brought this on?"
"Let's... just say recent events have made me rethink my certainty. And it would really help me if you could talk in particular about what... well, pushed you over the edge. The last straw, that sort of thing."
"Well, let's see. What haven't I covered already? Uh, best friends with Sunburst, Sunburst gets cutie-mark, big thing for him, I'm feeling abandoned, hurts a lot, never want that again, form cult of sameness, find magic stone that lets me remove cutie-marks, make everypony equally unhappy... and so forth. Did I miss something?"
"So... it was because you resented losing your friend, and blamed it on the individuality of cutie-marks?"
Starlight thought about it. "You know, that whole individuality thing -- that was just the slogan I taught myself to justify it all. The real burn was losing the only real friend I'd ever had." She nodded, realizing it herself. "Yeah, I mean, Sunburst leaving like that? It was like all our time together just didn't mean anything! It's just 'bye! Nice to have known you! Got my cutie-mark! Gonna move on with my life now!"
She realized she was starting to rant, and deliberately calmed down. "It made me feel like friendship itself was a lie. So I just kicked it out of my life entirely. Replaced it with a cult of personality. Instead of a single real friend, I had a town full of ponies who hung on my every word, but only because I forced them to. I never had real friendship there, so I never even thought about it again. Not until you showed up." She shrugged. "That must be why it was so easy for me to accept your offer of friendship, even after all I'd done... because it was what I'd really missed, right from the very start." She smiled uncomfortably. "Sounds sappy, but you did ask. Is that what you were looking for?"
Twilight nodded. "Makes a lot of sense to me. And I'm sorry I brought it up, Starlight."
"Again!"
"Right, again." She smiled sheepishly.
Twilight found Trixie sitting on Rarity's chair in the map-room.
"Ah yes, Starlight mentioned you were asking about what made her go bad. And now you want the Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie! to spill the beans too?"
"If you would, Trixie. It would really help."
Trixie shrugged. "Sure. Why not."
"Okay, so I get that you felt like our first encounter hurt your image."
"Huh! More like destroyed it! You only did the spell for real that Trixie claimed to have done, making Trixie look a liar and a laughingstock. But, we're friends now, so we're past all that. Maybe!" She smirked craftily.
"Yeah. Uh huh. And you blamed me, so when you came across the Alicorn Amulet, you decided to buy it and use it to amplify your powers, and then challenge me to a rematch."
"Which totes worked! Until it didn't, of course. Figures you'd turn my own stage-magic against me. To think that I, the Greatest Show-pony in Equestria, was taken in by simple misdirection! Ah well." She shrugged dismissively. "I'd love to say I didn't spot it because I was under the Amulet's eeeevil influence. But... nah! Straight up, ya got me."
"So it was embarrassment, loss of face, leading to the need for revenge?"
"Plus a lot of plotting and scheming, and working my hooves to the bone saving up a sack of bits to spend on my retaliation! You... kinda left out all the hard work, saying it like that."
Twilight nodded. "I'm sorry."
"And revenge was only the start of it, of course. What was more important was that you took away the one thing a show-pony needs -- her audience!" Trixie jumped up on her hind hooves on the chair, and threw her hooves in the air. "Adulation! Applause! And ticket sales, it's true... a pony has to eat, you know." She sat down again. "But to a performer the audience are one's friends. And when word got around, and I was no longer popular..."
"... you felt like I'd stolen away your friends." Twilight nodded. "Again, I'm sorry about that."
"You say that like you're going to get a medal for it." Trixie scowled, then immediately turned it into a smile. "But, water under the bridge! You and I made up. I went on my penitance tour. And then I ran into Starlight." Trixie came to halt. She suddenly looked uncharacteristically sad for a long moment. "And then I tried to use her friendship to hurt you. Nah, that's giving me too much credit. Let's be fair... I'd forgotten what having a real friend was like. And I almost blew it! Simply because I was still jealous of you. Old habits die hard, I suppose. When you're used to putting on a show, it's hard to be really honest with friends."
"Seems to me you're doing a great job right now."
Trixie frowned. "I have Starlight to thank for that. Not you."
"I realize that. And I'm happy you two hit it off so well. And despite our past I really hope you and I can be friends, too."
"Well... I'm not sure it's that simple, Little Miss Perfect Friendship Princess Twilight." Trixie snorted. "You've practically had it all handed to you on a plate! The rest of us have had to work for it. You've never had to discover how far you'll go to make and keep a friend."
"I've never had to dive in a manticore's mouth, that's for sure."
Trixie paused. Her frown softened a little.
"True. I was getting a little desperate there, wasn't I? But the Grrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie! knows what her audience wants. Excitement! Thrills! And the possibility -- however slight -- of catastrophic failure! And Trixie needs to stay on top of her game, to keep them coming back for more."
"And I think you're doing a great job. Just do me one favor?"
Trixie looked offended, yet curious. "What?"
"Don't turn anything else in the castle into a teacup. We've got more than enough to serve the entire Royal Guard now."
Trixie giggled. "Well, it is such a simple spell, and so satisfying seeing my magic work. But all right! Trixie promises, no more teacups!"
"Thanks!"
"We've moved on to Voodoo dolls now."
"Uh..."
"Got you!" Trixie giggled again. "You are so easily rolled, Twilight."
Twilight sat at the table in the map room, the magic journal opened in front of her, a message written on the left-hand page. She tapped her forehoof anxiously. Of course, she had no idea what Sunset might be up to at the moment. She might be busy with other things. But Twilight hoped she might not be that busy, might have a few minutes free to write back soon.
And then words appeared on the right-hand page:
Dear Princess Twilight --
Well, that's a strange question. Is everything all right over there? And yeah, it's not my favorite thing to talk about. Or think about. But if it helps you, I'm okay with that.
I think I always wanted to be the best. Not like Rainbow, who just wants to be better than anyone else, so she can show off to everyone. I wanted to be The Best, you know? Like, absolutely, no competition, no arguments, my way or the highway -- that kind of thing? When Celestia took me on as her student, I figured it was finally happening for me. I was on my way to the top! And when things didn't move fast enough... well... I kinda got impatient. I thought I could do better on my own, so I went my own way. And... you know the rest.
It's strange, isn't it? I wanted to be known as The Best, but to do that, I felt I had to push everybody aside, out of the way. And if you do that, who's going to acknowledge what you've accomplished, or like you for it? And how does that old quote go? Be nice to them all on the way up, because you'll meet them all again on the way back down.
Have I mentioned how grateful I am to my friends, your counterparts here? Because I am. They (and you) were all there for me when I fell back to earth.
Hope this helped!
Sunset Shimmer
"Thanks, Sunset," Twilight said quietly.
"Oh, really, Fluttershy -- when you asked me to visit, I thought it was going to be for something fun. Not being grilled by the Friendship Princess about my motives again. I thought we were past that by now!"
Twilight wasn't exactly sure why Discord was sitting at a small table, hunched fearfully, a bright light shining in his face. It looked uncomfortable, but then Discord was Discord. A second later the draconequus was sprawled comfortably on Fluttershy's couch again.
"Look, after the way you helped Starlight against Chrysalis," Twilight said, "no one's questioning that you're on our side. And to be completely honest, this isn't about you at all..."
"It's not?" Discord looked offended. "Well, really! If we're going to talk about anypony other than me, I'll just have to go and find something more interesting to do."
"Discord..." Fluttershy put a hoof on his arm. "I think she's trying to say she wants your advice."
Discord looked astonished, but Twilight nodded. "I'm trying to work out a tricky friendship problem, and I wanted to talk to you about it."
"Ooohhhh! Advice! I'm excellent at that!" A pad and pencil appeared in his hands, and a reporter's hat on his head. "Now, would this involve some little friend of yours, who has some unusual problem or other, who doesn't feel comfortable talking about it herself and has asked you to ask on her behalf, because not only is she embarrassed to talk about it, but she doesn't even really know what the real problem is herself in the first place?"
He beamed innocently, fluttering his eyelids at her.
"No," Twilight said, annoyed despite herself at his knowing gaze. "It's about me. I'm worried that one day my abilities will get away from me, turn me against my friends. And that I won't be able to stop myself. And that really bothers me! It shouldn't, but it does. I'd just like to ask how you, well, turned to chaos, and then what it was about friendship that convinced you to give it a try instead."
"Oh, well! I've always been the spirit of chaos, right from the very beginning. It's simply who I am! I love being able to change things up with a snap of my fingers! Never a dull moment, life of the party, that sort of thing!"
For a brief moment, they were at the Gala, and Discord was on stage, waving a top hat to the adoring shouts of the crowd. And then they were back.
"In fact, it was only on this most recent adventure that I realized just how boring it is without the absolute power of chaos at my fingertips."
Suddenly, the three of them were trudging across a wasteland of hard-packed clay and sparse dead scrub plants, heading for the changeling hive.
"I mean, having to walk all the way across that plain, step by step? When I could have just gone from one side to the other in a snap?"
They were back in the cottage again.
"Really, it amazes me how you all put up with your normal, petty, linear lives. So it's hard to say how it began, though I will say over time I learned to love how much I could impress everyone I met with my abilities. Well, those few who could keep up with me, of course! I must say it's a rare individual who can take joy in simply not having any idea what's going to happen next. And isn't that the problem with being a chaos spirit, really?"
In a blink, Discord was next to Twilight, giving her a companionable hug -- or what he probably thought one was. It made it a little hard to breathe.
"Everyone's so straightlaced, so serious, so... well, bookish, that it's hard to find anyone to hang out with, pal around with, paint the town red..."
"Ah," Fluttershy held up a hoof. "I just redecorated."
"Fair point, my dear Fluttershy," Discord pointedly stayed his claw. "And then Fluttershy here was kind enough to trust me, and show me how much fun it was doing what someone else wanted to do for a change. I mean, it's much harder because I can't just do whatever I want. But on the other hand... since it's not me deciding what to do, even I don't know what we're going to do next. And that's surprisingly relaxing! I don't have to spend all my time making decisions, because there's someone else around coming up with ideas. I found that friendship was a painless source of new and different things to do, which are all the more fun because others willingly join in them."
He shrugged. "So it turned out I like friendship better than being in control of chaos. Lesson learned! But of course, you ponies were incredibly cruel about it."
Twilight blinked in surprise. Even Fluttershy looked startled.
"Cruel?" Twilight asked.
"You handed me over to the one pony amongst the six of you who could offer friendship wholeheartedly, and then take it away again, without hesitation or remorse. All or nothing, without wavering or self-doubt either way. And I'll admit, that was exactly what I needed to draw me out of my former, self-centered lifestyle." Discord cleared his throat, wiped away a tear, and then waved away the two duplicates of himself who were busily consoling him.
"So..." Fluttershy said, "friendship helped you see that there was someone other than yourself, whom you could make happy simply by being chaotic in a way that makes them happy."
"Well... it sounds all ooey-gooey, touchy-feely when you put it like that." He relented, giving her a fond smile. "But yes, that's basically it."
"Thanks, Discord," Twilight said. "That helps. It really does."
"Oh, goody! Anything else you want to know?"
"Nope, I'm good for now."
"All right, then!" Discord looked from Twilight to Fluttershy. "Who's up for a bit of hang-gliding? Fluttershy?"
She clapped her hooves. "Ooh, sounds like fun!"
Twilight stared at her. "Hang-gliding?"
The pegasus nodded. "I wear a blindfold. As long as I can't look down it's really thrilling, and I never worry because I know Discord won't let me fall." She blushed a bit. "Discord's not the only one for whom friendship helps them get out of their shell a bit!"
"Twilight?" Discord leered. "Can we possibly tempt you?"
"Uhhh... you two go on ahead and have a good time. I need to go capture some notes, while everything's fresh in my mind."
"Ah well, suit yourself. But you know, anytime! Just give me a buzz. I'm in the book!"
A giant hardback appeared and ate Discord. Then the cover opened and he held out a claw. Giggling, Fluttershy took it, and yelped as he yanked her inside with him. Then the book slammed shut again, and snapped out of existence in a puff of smoke.
Shaking her head, Twilight walked to the door and let herself out.
And found herself stepping into the library in her own palace. Behind her through the doorway, she briefly saw the inside of Fluttershy's cottage. And then it disappeared, and was replaced by a very confused-looking Spike.
"Twilight?"
"Don't mind me, Spike. Just catching up on some friendship research business."
That evening, Princess Luna nodded encouragingly as Twilight summarized the day's events for her.
"And to anticipate your question, Twilight Sparkle --"
"Uh, just Twilight is fine, Luna."
Luna gave her an unreadable look, then nodded graciously. "Twilight. We would not object to also answering your inquiry. Though we are not certain what we could add to the official history."
"I've been surprised what I've found out by talking to ponies today. And I think they've been a little surprised as well."
"Very well. Before Celestia and I acquired our marks, we were the co-rulers of a developing Equestria. We explored, met other cultures, and solved problems together. From day to day there were always new challenges, and we met them together. We were truly equals in our royal office, neither sister ruling without the help of the other."
"And then you got your marks."
Luna nodded. "And suddenly Celestia was Princess of the Sun and the Day, and we -- excuse me, I was Princess of the Night. And somehow it all changed. With time, experience, and most importantly practice, Celestia became the outgoing diplomat, the visible face of the throne, the charming Princess of the Day, which suited her outgoing personality. Whilst I drifted to working more behind the scenes, walking our subjects' dreams, never revealing myself except at need.
"Since I am of a retiring nature, and naturally inclined to working on my own, doing things my own way, I did not mind this at first. Yet over time, resentment inevitably built up between us. And I am partly to blame for saying nothing until it all boiled over and it was far too late to resolve. Yet sometimes it can be easier to raise an objection if someone else breaks the ice first, so one does not feel like one is merely complaining."
"And..." Twilight observed, carefully, "it seems like you two still have that kind of resentment, even now."
"We do -- as Starlight discovered. Yet we have learned to deal with it, and in the way we should have done before: by talking with each other, even when we are tired or out of sorts, rather than keeping it to ourselves. And I have hope that we shall not see a return of the Nightmare in future... for either Celestia or myself."
"Can I ask you about one other thing? It... might be kind of personal."
"You may always ask." Best of luck getting an answer, her look said.
"When we used the Elements on you, how did that bring you back from being Nightmare Moon? I would have thought after a thousand years of imprisonment it would have been impossible."
Luna said nothing for a long moment. Twilight began to worry the Princess was offended, but then she discovered that Luna had simply been trying to find the right way to put it.
Luna silently held out a hoof. Twilight uncertainly reached for it with her own.
"Just like that," Luna said. "Nothing more. Oh, of course the power of the Elements blocked my magic as Nightmare Moon. But that simply prevented distractions from what was important. The six of you offered me the ultimate act of friendship: forgiveness and a new chance to earn your trust. All I had to do was accept it, abandon the self-imposed prison of hatred that was my persona as Nightmare Moon. And after a thousand years I would have given up anything for that."
Luna's eyes glistened. "All I had to do... was be myself again, become myself again. And you have been kind enough to allow me to do just that."
"I had no idea," Twilight said. "And I was there. We all were."
Luna nodded. "I hope it is has been helpful to you, Twilight."
"It is, Luna. It really is."
"Okay, then," Twilight said. "Thank you all for coming. And Princesses, my thanks for making your time available for this."
Twilight trotted back and forth across the red carpet in Celestia's throne room. Gathered around her were the other Element bearers and Spike, plus Starlight, Trixie, and Discord. On the throne sat Celestia, with Luna at her side. And ranged along either side of the room were several of Celestia and Luna's Royal Guard.
"Now, as I've discussed with many of you, I've been concerned about the possibility of my power and abilities one day running away with me, driving me to... well..."
"Go horribly, unspeakably evil?" Discord prompted with relish. "Oh, do excuse me for speaking out of turn like that!"
"No, you're right, Discord. It's best to speak plainly. To be blunt, what if I do go over the edge one day? Become a danger to myself and all my friends? Trust me, I don't have any plans to do that, but equally I can't just wait around for some unexpected event to catch me at a weak moment. I need to be certain I can deal with this. Soooo..."
She gestured to the small golden casket sitting to one side of the carpet, with a guard pony posted to either side of it.
"I've asked that the Alicorn Amulet be brought here from the Archives. My proposal is simple: to put it on, make use of its power to augment my own, and then confirm I can willingly take it off again. And I've asked you all here to help me do just that. As well as... to help deal with the outcome if it turns out I can't!"
"Uh... 'scuse me, Twi," Applejack said, "but... isn't that like stickin' your hoof in the candle flame 'cause you're 'fraid of gettin' burnt?"
"The proposal has merit," Luna spoke up from the throne. "Better to face temptation at a time and place of one's choosing, rather than under pressure of necessity, when one might make rash decisions. Although we are... hesitant... about the need for such an extreme test."
Her tone was carefully neutral. It was Luna's way of saying she thought it was a silly idea, without actually contradicting another Princess's word.
"As am I," Celestia agreed. "Twilight, are you absolutely sure this is necessary?"
"I believe it is," Twilight said, calmly and seriously. "Even if it's just to set my own mind at ease. I've spoken to several of you who have faced just such a temptation and learned to walk away from it. I haven't, and that doesn't sit right with me. I feel this is an important step in my education as the Princess of Friendship Magic."
"Well... if that's how ya feel about it," Rainbow said, "we're all with ya, Twi! Right, everypony?" The other Elements nodded in agreement. And so did Starlight, though more reluctantly.
Trixie just looked sardonically amused. Then Starlight nudged her, and she nodded as well. "If you are prepared," she announced in her stage voice, "to dive into the manticore's mouth, then the Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie stands ready to be your assistant in such a spectacularly dangerous feat!"
Twilight looked at Discord. "You in particular, Discord... are you ready to stop me, if it becomes necessary?"
Discord rubbed his claw and paw together eagerly. Then he looked around and at least had the decency to look guilty. He cleared his throat. "Um. Of course, Twilight. Anything for such a good friend."
Celestia and Luna glanced at each other. "Then we shall observe as well," Celestia stated in a formal tone. "And step in, should our powers be required. Sister, do you concur?"
Luna hesitated, then nodded. "We concur, Sister. The power of the Two Sisters is at your disposal, Princess Twilight."
Twilight had almost been hoping someone would object. But she wasn't about to turn back now. She nodded to the guards, who stepped smartly back from the casket. Using her magic, she unlocked the Friendship seal. From the throne, Celestia and Luna unlocked the Day and Night seals.
The casket opened. On its velvet interior sat the Alicorn Amulet, its gemstone wings and inset jewel lit with an unearthly red glow.
Making sure her Friendship crown was firmly in place atop her mane, Twilight took a deep breath, reached out with her magic, lifted the amulet from the casket, unlatched it, and gently clicked it in place around her throat.
She waited, looking around uncertainly. And then she remembered to breathe out. She peered down at the amulet. Its red glow had shifted in color, becoming more of a brilliant magenta. But otherwise, nothing had happened.
"Well..." she said, cautiously. "It doesn't feel any different..."
Trixie sniffed. "Give it time! I didn't begin feeling really nasty for at least a day or two. But then again, I'm not you, am I? For all I know, being an alicorn you're probably immune to it."
Twilight shook her head. "No, it should augment my alicorn powers, as when... well, when we battled against Tirek." She exchanged a look with the other Princesses, not certain how much she should reveal about the exchange of alicorn powers they'd performed then.
Well, she thought, I'm not going to learn much just standing around, wasting everypony's time.
"Okay, I'm going to attempt a few minor spells."
A luminance spell produced a more sharp-edged gleam than she was used to, but nothing out of the ordinary. She used levitation to lift and lower the casket, and found it was much easier than she was used to -- she had to be careful not to send the thing shooting through the ceiling. She cautiously teleported the casket back and forth across the carpet a few times. Again, easier than she was used to, but completely normal otherwise.
"Spike!"
"Yeah, Twi?" Spike nervously trotted closer.
"Hold still..."
She concentrated on an illusion spell. And suddenly she was surrounded by Spikes, dozens of them, staring up at her, and then around at each other in astonishment.
Dismissing the illusions, she hefted the casket, and then -- very gently -- tossed it into Spike's claws.
"Throw it at me, Spike."
Spike clutched the casket, looking like it was the last thing he wanted to do, but then steeled himself, and gently forearmed it into the air, so it arced down towards her head.
The air rang with the thrum of a physical ward. The casket fell into it... and simply disintegrated into a small waterfall of powder and fragments that drifted down to pile on the carpet.
"Woah!" Spike breathed, pressing a claw to his teeth in fright.
Carefully discharging the ward, Twilight stared aghast at the pile of metal and wood and shredded cloth. Then, almost afraid it would work, she pictured the casket in her mind...
A small whirlwind of transfiguration, and the casket was whole again, sitting on the carpet as if nothing had happened.
"O...kay," she said, hearing her own nervousness in her voice. "So far the amulet has merely augmented my power draw and focus substantially. I'm not feeling any other effects from it." She glanced around nervously. "Do I look any different?"
"Wayall, the amulet does glow a bit, whenever you use it," Applejack said.
"And your magic field does seem a darker shade of magenta," Rarity added. "You don't think you could manage a light amethyst, do you, dahling? I think it would go better with your eyes!"
Twilight smiled at Rarity's fashion focus. "I'm not sure it works that way, but I'll take it under advisement." Again she stared down at the amulet.
She considered just stopping at this point, unhooking the amulet, sticking it back in the casket, thanking everyone, and having it shoved back into the Archives where it belonged. But then she wouldn't have learned anything.
She sighed, and realized she was going to have to go further.
"Okay," she said. "I'm going to try something a little more risky. I've been worried about this thing affecting me substantially, making me look or think differently. I'm going to have to allow that, specifically try to evoke it, and see what happens. Just... be ready to talk me down, okay?"
"We're all with you, Twi!" Starlight said, nervously.
Discord produced a pair of industrial-grade welders glasses and put them on. "Fire away, Twilight! We're ready when you are."
Twilight glanced at the Princesses, saw Celestia nod minutely.
Just remember, Twilight told herself. It was Friendship that brought each of them back: Starlight, Trixie, Sunset... even Discord. Friendship is the way out.
Then she shut her eyes, and thought hard. What was the worst thing that could happen? The absolute worst? Nightmare Moon? Daybreaker? Something equally horrific out of her own worst nightmares? Something like Starlight, taking control of the ponies in Our Town? Or Sombra, using dark magic to impose his rule on the entire Crystal Empire? Or Discord... simply breaking all the rules of reality itself to suit his own twisted sense of humor?
Wait. None of those things are me. Twilight swallowed, and cautiously pursued the train of thought. Celestia said this was a personal lesson, for me to learn in my own way. I'm the Princess of Friendship Magic. What would matter the most to me?
Well... I've made it my goal to spread the magic of friendship over all of Equestria. To solve everyone's Friendship problems. To be there for everypony. I want there to be no loneliness, no anger and resentment, no need for conflict anywhere. I want there to be an answer for everything, one that everypony is comfortable with.
I want... to make friends.
I am...
"I am... Friendmaker!"
She felt a whirlwind of transformation enveloping her, heard the gasps of her friends as she changed form, heard the clatter of the guards' armor as they closed ranks and readied themselves.
And when she opened her eyes, she didn't feel any different.
She was much taller, practically Celestia's height, if she was any judge. Her mane and tail billowed behind her, in varying shades of lilac, iris, and periwinkle. Her horn was an orchid-hued sword, gleaming with power, and she wore a peytral and shoes of purple-worked onyx.
Yet inside, she felt like she always had.
This is me, she thought, amazed. I am Friendmaker. I always have been! Just as Luna was always Nightmare Moon, before she let that part of herself emerge. And the same with Celestia, when she unleashed Daybreaker. And Cadance? I wouldn't be surprised if the Best Foal-Sitter Ever, the Princess of Love, had an inner self even more worthy of her kind, caring nature.
"AHEM, ALL RIGHT... woah." Twilight tried again, dialing back the Voice a hair. "Okay... that's a bit better. All right, as far as I'm aware this is still me talking. I'm not about to turn tyrant or enslave the world or anything like that. All I want to do is make friends. It's... astonishing, really! This is who I've always been. It's who I'm going to be someday. And it's... kinda nice! I am Friendmaker!" She laughed, long and loud, in sheer relief. "And if this is the worst thing that's ever going to happen to me... well... I think I can deal with it."
"I'm proud of you, Twilight," Celestia said. "I was concerned, but I see I wasn't giving you nearly the credit you deserved."
"Likewise," Luna observed. "If this was what I had become a thousand years ago, we might have avoided the entire conflict between us, Sister!"
"Hoo wee! Ya had us worried there, sugarcube." Applejack smiled up at her. "But I gotta say, you're lookin' mighty grand like that."
"And she managed the amethyst in her magical field, did you notice?" Rarity smirked proudly. "Did I call it, or what?"
"Bet you're going to have to learn flying all over again, with wings that size," Rainbow cried. "I call first flight wingpony!"
"Go Team Twilight!" Discord was wearing a Twilight hat and an I 💜 Twilight! T-shirt, and waving a large pennant with Twilight's cutie-mark on it. When the others looked at him, he shrugged. "Hey, they were on sale at the gift shop. I couldn't resist."
They were all talking now, relieved and happy. And Twilight felt herself relaxing. She liked being Friendmaker, liked how it made other ponies feel about her, and about each other. She saw the sense of friendship, of camaraderie, spreading out to everyone in the room, and beyond. There were so many things she could do with that. She could resolve the issues with the Dragons and Griffons, for a start. She could open an Equestria-wide advice service, and solve everypony's friendship problems at scale. And she could put a branch library in every city and town in the land. Yes, that was it! She wouldn't do palaces, she'd do places of learning, where ponies everywhere would be able to research and solve any questions they might have, free of charge. And they'd all help her, she was certain. They'd do it for her because they were all her friends.
It was going to be wonderful. And all she had to do was leave the Amulet on.
She heard a derisive snort. It was Trixie. "Phuh! Didn't take you that long, did it, Princess Perfect?"
Everyone in the room stopped talking and stared at Trixie. They looked like she'd just spat in Celestia's morning coffee. Applejack spoke up first. "Now jest hold on a second, missy! You're talkin' about the Princess of Friendship here, ya know?"
"Oh? Is that what she calls herself? Princess of Friendship? Or was it Friendmaker? Trixie may not have heard rightly!"
"Why, you -- !"
Friendmaker put up a hoof. "Hold on, A.J.! I want to hear everyone's opinion on this. That's fair, after all."
There was grumbling, but Applejack relented, crossing her forehooves in annoyance.
"Well," Trixie sneered. "Seems like you're doing Starlight here one better. You may actually be better at managing a crowd than Trixie herself! But I'm not under your influence... well, not yet anyway. Maybe it's because I wore that wretched thing most recently. I can still recognize its influence and resist it. But probably not for all that long. So you'd best make up your mind quickly, Friendmaker, or whatever you call yourself...
"... because if I suddenly find myself liking you, I'm going to stick a fork in my eye, because it would probably be a lot less painful!"
She glanced around. "Oh, you doubt Trixie's word?" She waved a hoof dramatically, and suddenly there was a fork floating in the air before her.
"Make up my mind?" Friendmaker asked, puzzled. "About what?"
"You said you were going to put that amulet on, use its power, and then take it off again! Or did you just conveniently forget?" Her anger faded, becoming a thoughtful sadness. "Just the way Trixie forgot... that she was only going to use it to have her revenge..."
The anger returned, full blast. "ON YOU, TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
Friendmaker stared back, amazed. How could any pony not want to be her friend? An interesting Friendship problem, to be sure. And it was a wonderful opportunity to try out her new abilities. After all, she didn't absolutely need Trixie to be her friend, at least not right away. Yet Trixie clearly was in need of friendship, that was obvious. So... perhaps strengthening her connection with Starlight? Giving them a deeper, more lasting relationship? Something a little more... intimate, maybe? That might just do the trick. And it was so simple... she could already picture the right spell in her mind, ready for her to reach for it...
As if sensing where her thoughts were going, Trixie motioned with her hoof. The fork aligned itself with her left eye. "I'm not kidding. I mean it!" Trixie locked gazes with Friendmaker, unblinkingly -- a mere showpony facing down a demigoddess of Friendship Magic... who now felt the first stirrings of anger rising in her.
Who is she, to dare speak to me like that? Friendmaker thought. I am no mere pony. I am friendship itself embodied! I am Friendmaker! I am...
Wait... From somewhere deep in her thoughts, a small, desperate voice spoke. Trixie's right! This has already gone too far. I found out what I needed to know. It's time to end this!
Friendmaker hesitated. She didn't want to do it. She really didn't want to do it. It wasn't fair. She didn't want to give up on the wonderful future she saw before her. Didn't want to give up who she was now...
But reluctantly, she agreed that it was the right thing to do.
"Good call, Trixie," she said softly, although the Voice still made it echo throughout the throne room. "Good call. And thank you."
She reached up a forehoof, put it against the amulet, and with magic from her horn -- oh, the sheer power she felt, just in this one act alone...
... unsnapped the Amulet, and removed it.
The change in height was dizzying. Suddenly, she was her old shape and size, looking up at Celestia and Luna. And she was her old self again.
She looked at the Amulet, resting on her hoof. Looked at the casket. She started to put the Amulet back in it.
And then she hurled the accursed thing to the ground and stamped on it repeatedly, smashing it into a thousand glittering fragments. The sharp edges hurt her hooves, but it was as nothing to the memory of how close she'd come.
"Never again," she said quietly.
And no one in the room said a word to contradict her.
It was a sunny afternoon, and Starlight and Trixie were on the hill just beyond the Friendship castle, flying kites in the midday breeze.
They heard hoofsteps behind them. It was Twilight.
"All right if I join you girls?"
"Of course, Twilight!" Starlight smiled. Trixie nodded agreeably.
Twilight sat down next to them, and for a long moment said nothing.
"Um," she finally spoke up. "I wanted to say thanks."
"You thanked us already, in the throne room," Starlight reminded her.
"Not about that. I wanted to thank both of you for putting up with me for so long. I'd never really understood what it was like, having that kind of power and choosing to give it up. Both of you have been through that, and... well, I just didn't credit how strong you both were. And I was probably more than a little insufferable about it. I'm sorry."
"It's all right." Starlight smirked. "Sooner or later, they stop talking about your past. Trust me, I know what that's like!"
"And even when you fall on your face, there's always the next performance," Trixie said. "You learn to put it behind you."
"Yeah, well I don't want it to be like that any more," Twilight said. "I want to put aside any differences I've had with you two, and just be friends."
Starlight and Trixie exchanged a look.
"Why not?" said Trixie. "Welcome to the Reformed Villains Society, Princess Twilight!" She put out a free forehoof, and they shook.
"You want to fly kites with us?" Starlight asked.
"She doesn't have a kite," Trixie pointed out.
Twilight moved to sit between them, and hugged them both. "I don't need a kite," she told them.
They sat together, watching the kites floating in the breeze high above them, dancing on the winds together.
The End
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, its characters and indicia are the property of Hasbro.
No infringement is intended. This story is a work of fan fiction, written by fans for fans of the series.
Author's Note
The one form of evil you're never prepared to deal with is you... armed with a big enough stick.
