Twilight Gets a Puppy, Season 2

Chapters

Hearts and Paws Day, part 3
Lion Roundup
The Return of Har-meow-ny, prologue
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Part 1
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Part 2
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Part 3
The Return of Har-meow-ny Part 4
The Return of Har-meow-ny Part 5
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Prologue
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Part 1
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 2
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Part 3 [10]
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 4
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 5
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 6
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Part 7
The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Epilogue
Litten Zero
Kittypox, Prologue
Kittypox
Sphinx and elite
The Mysterious Manx-do-well [20]
The Mysterious Manx-Do-Well, Part 2
It crosses your path. Nightmare Night Bonus Episode.
It's About Tiger
It's about Tiger, part 2
May the best Persian win
Hairball Fluttershy
Kitten Cakes, part one
Clowder Appreciation Day
Luna Eclipsed. Part 1
Luna Eclipsed, Part 2 [30]
Luna Eclipsed, Part 3
Luna Eclipsed Epilogue
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000
The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000, part 2
Caspian, and weep, Prologue
Caspian and weep Part 2
Caspian and Weep, Part Radish
Caspian and Weep, Part Uno
Caspian and Weep, Part Hamster
Caspian and Weep, Part... * WACK * [40]
Caspian and Weep, part 6
Caspian and Weep, epilogue
Hearth's Whiskers Eve
Serval of my Excess, prologue
Serval of my Excess, part 1
Serval of my Excess, part 2
Serval of my Excess, part 3
Serval of my Excess, Epilogue
Hearts and Paws Day, prologue
Hearts and Paws Day, part 1
Hearts and Paws Day, part 2
Hearts and Paws Day, part 4
Hearts and Paws Day, part 5
Hearts and Paws Day, epilogue
Mystery on the Friendship Ex-purr-ess
A Felidae in deed.
Ponyville Cymric-fidential, prologue
Ponyville Cymric-fidential, Chapter 1
Dragon Li Quest, prologue
Dragon Li Quest, Part 1
Dragon Li Quest, Part 2
Dragon Li Quest, Part 3
Dragon Li Quest, Part 4
Dragon Li Quest, Epilogue
Scratching Post Social, Prologue
Scratching Post Social
Putting Your Toe Beans Down.
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Prologue
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part 1
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part 2, and a three and a four five....
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part 5, “Three Sir!” “Three!!” Lobs grenade.
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part FOOOOOUR!!! A golf ball sails past.
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 2, Part 1
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 2, Part 2
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 2, Part 3
A Claw-terlot wedding Part 2, Part 4
A Claw-terlot Wedding Part 2, part 5
A Claw-terlot Wedding part 2, part 6
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Epilogue 1
A Claw-terlot Wedding, Epilogue 2
Feline butt award, Season 2 Epilogue

Hearts and Paws Day, part 3

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Lion Roundup

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, prologue

~~Twilight Gets a Puppy~~ How come I never get a puppy? I always wanted a puppy, maybe one of those giant mastiff things or a little teacup poodle that I could carry around in a coffee cup.
~~Season 2~~ Sit down, shut up, and hold on, cause it's a long ride yet!
~~By TDR~~ By that annoying gray rabbit.

The Return of Har-meow-ny
~~Prologue~~
To be honest I can't even poke fun at this title, it's hilarious.

Celestia's journal, entry ….. one of these days I'm going to look at a calendar before I start writing.

It's been a year since I sent ~~Twilight Sparkle~~ Sparklebutt Mcpurple flank and ~~her brothers~~ Woofy poofington the third and spicy burrito breath the purperler to Ponyville to try and save ~~my sister~~. Ole emo Moon butt. Seriously some ponies have a goth phase, little Looney IS a goth phase. A task they succeeded in with the help of a group of ~~friends~~ Yes friends... a needy little wanna be noble, a hick farmer who's probably so inbred that a little heat would make her toast, an partiholic, a sex crazed head trauma victim of a pegasus, and a mousy little pony who screams at her own shadow. So fierce and dependable of friends there. they gathered there.

While they managed to save ~~my sister~~, By the stars I can't stand emos with their beady little eyes and their dopy hair and their stupid beaks and walking around like dinosaurs... no wait that's an emu... I can't stand emus. it seems part of the cost was that the Sparkle's ~~no longer trust me~~. Thus proving they are smarter than they look. Which still isn't saying much.

While I am ~~saddened~~ Yes, you are very sad but you shouldn't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good. by this, the return of my sister ~~Luna~~ Moon butt ….. no, that seems like a cheap knock off of another joke. Hmmm I need a name for her. makes this a cost I am ~~willing to pay~~, Drama queen much ? particularly since I have the time to regain the cost.

Time which seems to be of ~~short supply as of late~~. Says the immortal, HAH! While the Gala this year was the ~~most entertaining it has been in some time~~, Pffft you mean EVER. And trust me I’ve
been to all of them, not by choice, this one was the best one yet, and I didn't even have to do anything! it seems it drew the attention of one I thought I had ~~more time to prepare for~~. Awww she thought she could prepare for me. Like it's hard to throw a welcome back party …. sheesh.

The Sparkle's trust in me has ~~not fully recovered~~ I should totally fix that... or make it worse... where's a coin when I need it? and while Luna has ~~forgiven me~~, Because you wouldn't stop whining..... I am working on repairing our relationship as well as it still ~~seems strained~~. Big surprise, after an upper cut like that.

That may not happen as Discord has ~~awakened~~. And what a long nap it was. Seriously I just lay down for a moment and suddenly a few thousand years fly past.

The ~~chimeric monster~~ handsome devil has likely already has some sort of ~~foul plot~~ only after taco night against ~~me and my sister~~, Mostly you as I said before I don't like emos.... emus.....whatever likely in revenge for our ~~sealing him in stone~~. Oh no no no no no..... YES,YOU MADE ME A STATUE!! Do you have any idea how boring that was? And I had such an itch on my nose......

When we used the ~~Elements~~ Glowy rocks against him, Discord had already crossed the line and had harmed ~~numerous ponies~~. ONE PONY, and he deserved it...... The other ~~Gods~~ Prudes agreed to the act as it was not just Equestria Considering the one who wanted me to learn about new age rock was the god that moved the freaking sun, they wern't gonna argue. that was suffering from the chaos he was inflicting on the world.

Despite what we ~~might have been in the past~~, You broke up with me sun butt. Not my fault you lost your sense of humor. Luna and I used the Elements of Harmony on Discord and turned him into a statue that I have kept in my gardens to ~~watch over him~~ Laugh at. and ~~ensure he doesn't escape.~~ You mean to rub your plot against when you're feeling lonely, or just mean. Seriously, I was as rock hard as I could get already and that just wasn't fair......

I was not expecting the level of ~~chaos at the gala this year~~ Such a magical time and thus with that influx it seems he was able to ~~free himself~~. I actually could have freed myself years ago I just fell asleep for real for a bit and only woke up when some pony started singing 'Rock thee like a hurricane', I think it was Luna.

I am unsure ~~where he is~~ In your vault, rewriting your memoirs at the moment. but it's only a ~~matter of time before he shows up~~. Only a matter of chapters you mean... and it's not many.......

PS: My name is Princess Celestia and I have a huge butt and I smell and the worst mistake ever was breaking up with Discord because he's such a handsome and charming devil and I really want to make it up to him but now I’m to fat and he'd never want anything to do with me again boo hoo hoo. Also I need to remember to make a ruling to ban Emos... Emus... no more emus......Cassowarys have to go to... penguins are okay because they are very well dressed.

Though on the subject of puppies I never got..... I think I know a way to fix that.... after all, if sun butt and moony have found new toys....it's only fair I break them so they have to play with me again...... BWAAAAHA HA HA HA HA HA mine is an evil laugh!

Author's Note

And so it begins

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny
Part 1

[Canterlot Castle]

“Excuse me, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence.” A gold armored guard called out, stopping the two alicorns as they came out of Cadence's room.” I have a message from Princess Celestia. She wants you both to come to the castle war room immediately.”

“We have a war room?” Cadence blinked.

“Not a proper one.” Luna scoffed. “It's a glorified broom closet magically expanded to a near proper size. It has a foal's map on a card table in the middle of it. Tia refuses to let us get one of the interactive maps as she claims we would just use it to play X-pony UFO guard.”

Cadence raised an eyebrow.

“She is not entirely incorrect, but a junior high school map of Equss that shows Equestria as the biggest land mass is less than useless.” Luna grumbled.

The guard escorted them down the hall to a small door near the throne room before opening it for the two of them. Inside was a collection of mops and brooms and a old stool with a rather lewd magazine next to it that the janitor swore he only read for the articles.

Luna rolled her eyes and stepped back, closing the door again.

“It really is a broom closet.” Cadence blinked as Luna's horn glowed, the light framing the door a moment.

Opening the door again Luna stepped through into a much larger room without any windows or other doors. Cadence blinked looking around the sparse room seeing a number of file cabinets and the aforementioned card table with a map draped over it that took up a pathetically small part of the center of the room. On one wall however there was a very large weapon rack with a sizable number of weapons.

Spears, swords, an odd curved double bladed sword with a blue wrapped handle that seemed to flicker with blue fire as Luna was reflected in the dark metal, and of course the massive steel battle ax, Dr. Choppy. And on the wall next to Dr. Choppy was his diploma from Canterlot U.

Cadence tried not to think about that too much.

The main thing in the room however was a massive oak chest, one that was open and empty. Near it were a trio of guards as well as the guard's blacksmith all standing and milling around a large golden armored figure.

“Pull tighter on that strap lad, I kanna connect it over here.” the earth pony blacksmith, Black Smith, yelled.

“I'm trying you old codger, but it's not …. THERE!” the guard yelled as he managed to fasten the strap. As one the group all moved away from the armored figure, all of them earth ponies and all of them looking like they had just run a marathon or had been lifting weights for a few days straight.

Luna frowned at the sight of the armor, though Cadence had to marvel at it.

It was all gold and ornate regalia, Cadence could feel the power radiating from the metal, the effect making the air around the figure seem to ripple with heat from the amount of magic poured into it. The armor was designed to look like a bird of some kind and after a looking at it a moment Cadence realized it was based off a phoenix. It was breathtaking and worrying at the same time.

Luna was less than impressed.

“Oh we see now. Thou couldn't save Mr. Choppy, nor our old regalia,or our armor, or even our comfortable throne, but thou could save that stars awful eyesore.” Luna grumbled.

“I needed something in case you came back and wanted to destroy me....” Celestia admitted.” Besides your old armor looked more like fetish wear anyway. It barely covered anything.”

“It allowed us mobility.........” Luna snapped.” As for using that against us, when we found thee, thee were in a bathrobe with a half eaten chocolate cake on thine face.” Luna snarked.

“It was a gift... some pony thought I would be cold.” Celestia argued, breathing in to start shouting back at Luna.

“Why do you have that out any way auntie?” Cadence asked cutting off further bickering between the two.

“Because..... Celestia began only for a loud ping to fill the air and the sound of something bouncing around the room.

The Guards, blacksmith, and Princesses all perked up their ears as they looked around following the sounds of impact until with a last thud, whatever it was landed in front of the ash furred Black Smith.

The earth pony bent down scooping up the object and looked it over, his eyes going wide as he realized it was a snapped golden bolt.

The sound of more creaking filled the room a second before Black Smith dropped the bolt and rushed to the door.

“Every pony for themselves, she's gonna blow!!” the blacksmith screamed.

The Guards took off like a shot, the lot of them throwing themselves out the door as the sound of tearing metal filled the room.

With a sound like hailstones striking a tin roof, bolts and straps of the gold armor gave out and shot around the room, bouncing off the stone walls, the weapons, and the shield Luna raised around herself and Cadence. The bits of metal acted like a claymore destroying the table and the map as well as the weapons rack and most of the weapons on it. Dr Choppy, the odd double sword, and Dr. Choppy's diploma however were somehow spared the carnage.

After what seemed like several minutes of bouncing metal the room again quieted down and Luna dropped her shield.

The trio looked around at the plethora of golden bolts screws and clasps scattered around the floor.

“Seems thou hast put on some weight, dear sister.” Luna deadpanned with a level expression.

“Nonsense I simply needed to stretch a little, the armor feels much less tight now.....” Celestia claimed lifting one hoof.

The sudden crash of metal echoed through the room as all of the armor fell off the solar princess with a horrendous crash to the floor. Only a few bits of armor remained, the helm on her head, the hoof guards and a large section of the rear armor that seemed to be stuck wrapped around her rump.

Cadence and Luna stared a moment before Luna let out a snort of amusement that turned into a chuckle, that turned into doubled over laugh, before it became a hysterical cackling as the lunar princess collapsed on the floor her wings clutching her sides as her legs kicked in the air.

Celestia glared down at her younger sister and then to Cadence who was hiding her own smirk behind a wing covering her face.

“Perhaps I could stand to lose a little weight.” Celestia grumbled.

“Auntie what is this even about?” Cadence asked, ignoring Luna as she looked at the pile of gold armor on the ground. “ Why are you even trying to wear armor.”

“There's a reason for that.” Celestia sighed, also ignoring Luna. “ Discord has escaped.”

The laughter suddenly stopped as Luna sat up wiping tears from her eyes.

“Truly?” She questioned.

“Yes, I’ve already encountered one of his pranks and a warning... I think.” Celestia explained having given up on trying to make sense of what Discord said.

“ Ughh... we shall have the maids hide the good silverware. And so help us Tia if he messes with our Neightendo save files we are killing him this time, council be damned.” Luna grumbled.

“ Is he dangerous?” Cadence questioned.

“Yes.” said Celestia.

“No.” replied Luna.

Cadence blinked as the two glared at each other.

“Luna he can alter the fabric of reality to do whatever he wants to any one he wants.” Celestia frowned

“And he uses said powers for pranks and laughs. He is an annoying pain, little more.” Luna grumbled.

“ He made ponies his playthings and treated them like puppets!” Celestia protested.

“Having been an actual puppet for over a century the fifteen minutes it takes Discord to get bored with pranking some pony barely counts.” Luna growled.

“Why are you defending him!?”

“Because we have seen much worse and do not even consider him a threat.” Luna said darkly. “ Besides, he is likely just thine problem again.”

Celestia frowned. “ If you care so little why did you help me seal him away to begin with?”

“Context please.” Cadence stated.

“My sister dated Discord. Things were well for a time though he has 'limit' issues and she dumped him. He did not get the memo.” Luna explained.” As to why we helped thou seal him away Tia, his existence was causing havoc with the Oneiroi at the time. He also was highly annoying to ourselves and our subjects with his attempts to rewoo you with his chaos. In truth we expected the Element's to perhaps balance him out a bit, not turn him into a rock.”

“Yes well, they do what they want it seems, I attempted the same with you and you were banished.” Celestia sighed. “But now that he is free he will most likely be seeking revenge for his time in stone.”

“ Ugh... that puts a bit of a damper on things.” Luna grumbled.

“So you were going to fight him?” Cadence asked.

“Would be an exercise in futility. He is chaos, one cannot fight something like that effectively with brute force.” Luna considered. “ Well one could, but it would not be pretty.”

“So basically you'd have to get the Elements together to use again him if he starts causing trouble.” Cadence offered.

“Tis not an option sadly.” Luna sighed.

“The Elements of Harmony no longer work for us. Luna lost her connection when..... that happened, and I lost my connection when I banished her and broke our harmony.” Celestia added.

“Yes, well. Neither of you are the bearers now though right?” Cadence pointed out.

Luna and Celestia looked at their niece then to each other.

[ Ponyville]

“So where did you want to get lunch today?” Spike asked.

“Maybe that new Cavallo place over off Cobblestone. Rarity says it's pretty good.” Twilight added.

“Woof.” Rahs added.

“Dunno they might have griffon dishes, why thinking of asking that new trainer of yours out?” Spike grinned up at Rahs before ducking the swat the Moon Dog took at him.

The fight was ended when all three of them stopped dead as an unexpected shiver ran along their spines.

“What?” Spike stammered.

“Please Tell me that didn't mean anything.” Twilight muttered.

Spike was about to reply when his eyes widened and his cheeks puffed out. Suddenly he lifted his head and belched green fire, a scroll with the royal seal forming in the air then landing in the dirt before them.

“Uh oh.” Spike offered.

“Let's pretend we didn't see it and keep walking.”

Twilight lifted the scroll in her magic opening it and reading over it with a frown before she let out a long sigh.

“You guys go get me some Alfredo or something nice from the menu as carry out. I'll go get the girls and we'll meet at the Library.” Twilight grumbled.

Author's Note

Not bad.. second place on the feature box.... rare to see any non clop up that high.

Ooh Never mind. Twilight Gets a Puppy has beat the spread. It's above all the clop!

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny
Part 2

[Canterlot train station]

The squeal of brakes when the engine pulled into the station echoed across the empty platform as the Friendship Express came to a stop.

“All stop for Canterlot.” the train conductor called.

The train had a number of ponies on it, ones who were either heading to Canterlot for lunch or returning to work from their lunch break, or in the case of eight of them, here on a summons from the Princess. Well six summons and two tag alongs.

Despite the train having stopped, the doors did not open and every pony on board was plastered to the windows looking out at the scene before them.

Pink clouds darted around the sky like mad, being chased by the Canterlot weather patrol as brown liquid rained in torrents from the underside of them. A few of the weather patrol seemed to have caught up to the clouds only to find that the pink mess was a sticky candy that they easily got tangled up in only to be left stuck to the sides of buildings or flagpoles like discarded bubble gum.

Strange creatures ran around either chasing or being chased by ponies. Most of them looked like they had started as something else, a chandelier here, a bag of trash there, an ice cream cone over there. No one seemed to be having any luck catching or escaping them, save a young colt in a hat who was throwing red and white balls at them for some reason and had a large yellow rat following him around.

“Next stop, buck this, nopesville , and anywhere else!” the train conductor called as the train started moving to leave the station again.

There was a flurried movement inside the train car and six ponies, a dragon, and a Moon Dog lept off before it took off like a shot back down the mountain.

“This is new.” Spike commented looking around at the madness as a sword with a blue tassel on the end hopped by being chased by an annoyed Guard with a empty sheath. The letter hadn't said he should come, but after the situation with Nightmare Moon, he wasn't about to let his sister run off to save the world without him. He and Rainbow Dash had been talking about what sort of monster or demon it might be the whole trip. Though Dash had ten bits on a long lost brother, Spike had matched it with the idea Cadence had finally lost it and become Heart Attack or something.

“Indeed.” Rarity stated dressed in a fancy purple rain slicker. A frilly umbrella floated over her head hiding her entirely from the rain. She also had a matching scarf covering her face and large dark sunglasses. The Gala disaster was only a bit ago and she was certain the gossip papers were after her after her attack on Prince Blueblood. “This is certainly a mess isn't it?”

“We need to find a way to stop it.” Applejack frowned. The farmer had been dragged along with this reluctantly, there was a great deal of planting to be done this early into the summer and she didn't want to dump it all on Mac and Applebloom. ”This has gotta be what tha princess wanted our help with.”

“Why would any pony want to stop this, chocolate milk rain, cotton candy clouds.” Pinkie Pie smirked. The pink one had opted to come with out even asking why as it seemed like it might be fun.” This is great!”

“Unless you're lactose intolerant, or diabetic. Or don't want everything covered in ants and flies, or don't want all the crops to die and for ponies to starve to death because they are not getting water.” Twilight rambled. Twilight Sparkle was less than thrilled at this. The letter had asked specifically for the Element bearers and thus she fully expected it to be some Equss ending threat. Her mood had not improved since. Particularly since the restaurant wouldn't do carry out.

“Woof?” Rahs asked looking at his sister. Like Spike he wasn't about to let Twilight and the others wander off without some sort of extra protection. Plus he wanted to see if he could put his training to use.

“I am calm.” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“Maybe we should see what the Princess wants?” Fluttershy pointed out. Out of all of them she wanted to be there the least, the idea of facing something like Nightmare Moon again terrified the pale yellow pegasus.

“Of course. We need to focus on that. We should head to the castle first and then see if we can help. The Princess may know the source of this and we can stop it all at once.” Twilight agreed.

[Canterlot throne room]

The doors to the great chamber of the throne room burst open with a crash and the sounds of arguing.

“No get back you beast. Princess Celestia only has Twilight Sparkle, Applejack Apple, Rarity Reighnolds, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy Poesy.” A stuffy looking stallion with a clipboard protested from where he was tucked under Rahs arm.” No Dragons or Diamond Dogs!”

Spike rolled his eyes as the others walked in. “Yeah yeah, I hear you talking but all I hear is blah blah blah. I missed out on one world ending threat I’m not doing it again.”

“Seriously with everything going on outside Starched Collar, you are going to argue this with us now?” Twilight sighed. “ We do that every time we come to the castle.”

“If you are not on the list you do not get in!” Starched Collar argued back.”Now get out of here before I call the Guards!”

“Yah mean tha guards that waved us in already?” Applejack sighed.

“Bork!” Rahs growled, turning around as the others came in the door before tossing the stallion back outside and shutting the great doors with a slam.

“Right, back to the discussion you are not doing what you did last time. That was too dangerous.” Twilight agreed. “ We're going to find Cadence and you can stay with her.”

“I'll keep that plan of yours in mind next time you two roll critical fails on your will saves to resist fear.” Spike snapped back.” And I’m not there to dragon fire your way out of it with a save bonus.”

“We told you they would all be here.” Princess Luna smirked from where she stood near Celestia's throne.

“I told her just the other bearers of the Elements. I didn't want Rahs or Spike involved, there's no telling what will happen.” Celestia grumbled from the other side of her throne. Or where her throne was supposed to be. What was there instead was a platinum seated , diamond encrusted toilet that was leaking water all over the place and had a tiger striped seat cover.

“Okay, one these two don't listen to me at the best of times.” Twilight rolled her eyes as both her brothers offered fanged smirks. “Two if you called us here for a plumbing problem I have some really bad news for you regarding what I would do next after that revelation.”

“Twilight ah don't think that's supposed tah be in here, an tha rest of tha room ain't right either.” Applejack pointed out.

Twilight took a moment to look around the throne room. If she hadn't been so focused on Starched Collar and the Princesses Twilight would have noticed the oddities sooner.

The red carpet spilling down the dais stairs was shifting around like a tongue with the stone blocks that made up the few steps to the dais looking uncomfortably like teeth. The pillars holding up the ceiling were twisted into impossible shapes that defied any natural law and even if the ones that didn't couldn't have held up the ceiling like they were doing. Even the mural of the sky that changed depending on what court was being held was now of a pony reclining on the ground reaching out a wing tip to what looked like a bundle of spaghetti with eyes and hay ball cheeks. And that thing was reaching out a noodly appendage to touch the the ponies wing tip.

Looking around they saw many of the stained glass windows depicted other odd things. Strange creatures, misshapen shapes and one window that made Rahs slap his paws over Spike's eyes so he wouldn't see it.

“BORK!”

“No we cannot break it. ”Princess Luna sighed casting a spell that masked the lewd window. “Cadence has already claimed it for her quarters.

“Princesses Princessi .. dang what was the plural again.” Rainbow Dash considered before giving up.” What the heck is going on?”

“I've called you here for a matter of great importance.” Celestia started.

“We believe they get that sister, skip ahead a bit.” Luna scoffed getting a glare from Celestia.

“An old foe of mine, someone who I believed defeated long ago has returned. His name is Discord.” Celestia said ominously.

“Is it your brother?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Has he possessed Princess Cadence? Is she known as Heart attack now?” Spike demanded.

“What ?!? No.... where did you get those ideas......”” Celestia glanced over to Luna. “ Never mind.”

“They used to date.” Luna added with a smirk, stumbling back as Celestia walloped her in the face with a wing before Luna could do more than offer a small laugh.

“Who's telling this story Luna you or me? If you wanted to do your own exposition you should have sent them a letter.” Celestia growled. “Anyway. Discord is the god of Chaos, before my sister and I stopped him he dominated Equestria and spread chaos, mayhem and grief among the ponies. With every pony so fresh from their flight from the north to escape the Windigo no one was prepared for his chaos and ponies as a whole suffered for it.”

“While our sister has the right of it, most of this happened after she broke up with him for being an ass. His worst was an attempt to get back in her good graces with various epic pranks and jokes.” Luna added. “Tact, common sense, critical thinking, and general good looks were not anything he possessed.”

“I take offense to that.” A voice shouted from somewhere.” A nice white picket one, with a flower box.”

“What? “ Twilight asked looking around for the source of the voice.

“OOOOOOH offense, a fence, I get it, it's a pun!. HA HA HA, ehh I’ve heard better.” Pinkie Pie ranted.

“Every ponies a critic.” The voice grumbled.

“And you need us here to deal with a God of Chaos, ummm..... how now?” Rarity questioned tentatively.

“Last time we used the Elements of Harmony to seal him in stone, but they do not work for us now as they have chosen you six as their bearers.” Celestia added.

“Oh well... um.... okay.” Fluttershy muttered still looking around for the source of the voice.

“Seriously, you summoned us all the way up here to run off your ex? Lame.” Rainbow Dash scoffed, with a few nods from the other mares.

Celestia glared at Luna. “And see this is why I didn't want to tell them that part. They think it's just a personal issue now.”

“Fine, thou were right, did thee wish a cookie for it? Despite the flippancy we show, Discord does pose a number of problems as long as he is free. He is well known to alter the minds of his toys in order to get a reaction from them that he finds funny. His is also the reason we needed to create the Moon Dogs in the first place. His chaos magic bleeds heavily into the Oneiroi and likely will again, causing problems with the Moon Dogs there as well as any one who wishes a restful nights sleep.”Luna explained. “T'would not be so bad if he kept the chaos toned down, but as we said he hast no tact.”

Rahs and Spike perked up at that, before they looked to each other then the girls. Despite Rahs not recalling having been there, the Oneiroi was his homeland and he didn't like the idea of his real parents and sisters suffering.

Spike was a bit worried when Luna mentioned 'altering minds' his Oubliettes and Ogres books always listed that as an alignment changing spell if it was cast, no matter what the reason and it was usually a change towards evil.

“There is also the weather situation outside as you must have seen coming in. Now picture that mess all over Equestria, or worse if he thinks of something funnier.” Celestia added noting Rainbow Dash's wince. “The effects will also likely spread to the crops Equestria has next, as they are watered with the chaos. I recall once before the chaos created a new sort of fruit you could partially see through. It was like sort of new clearer cherry. The problem was the moment they were ripe and one fell of the tree in the orchard, it acted like a bomb and set off the others. We call that place the Badlands now.”

Applejack winced at that, glancing to Dash and the others before looking at Twilight.

Twilight still looked annoyed, Pinkie stared impassively, and Rarity and Fluttershy were looking around in worry.

“There is are several cases of him changing how various animals are in terms of shape and diet in ways that amuse him or annoy others. Rarely is it a change that will aid them in life.“ Celestia offered hearing Fluttershy gasp. “Then with the way his magic works there is no telling what sort of oddities he may create, cupcake trees , cake bushes....”

“That sounds amazing!” Pinkie Pie cheered.

“While perhaps in the short term Miss Pie. It would soon put all the bakers and confectioners in Equestria out of a job.” Celestia pointed out. “And it is unlikely any one would have to come to any of your parties for treats if they could pick something from a tree.”

Pinkie Pie's eyes widened at that.” Oh no! Then I’d be out of a job and homeless..... double oh no, then Mr. and Mrs. Cake would be out of a job and Mrs cake is expecting soon!! We can't leave little bakery foals homeless!!”

“There's a 'bun in the oven' joke here, but it seems a little half baked to me.” The voice called again and was ignored.

Celestia frowned noting both Twilight and Rarity seemed unconvinced before she sighed.

“He is well known to dress in plaid.” Luna offered getting a shriek from Rarity.

“That cad, he must be stopped for the good of fashion every where. Plaid is a winter pattern, or for lumberjacks.” Rarity whined.

“ Discord was also responsible for the destruction of the Library of Vollerei, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. “ Celestia added. “He gave all the books and scrolls the ability to fly around on their own like birds and one of them knocked over a lantern and set everything on fire.”

“He must be stopped!” Twilight swore.

“Right!” the others agreed.

Rahs and Spike glared up at Celestia and Luna, both of them less than thrilled at how well the Princesses played the rest of group, though none of the others seemed to notice.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Part 3

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny
Part 3

“So what's the plan then?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I would think that would be simple darling. We get the Elements of Harmony and we make another tacky lawn ornament out of him.” Rarity added.

“We must take our leave. The guards need to be organized to offer aid to the chaos stricken city.” Princess Luna chimed up her horn glowing as a massive steel battle ax was pulled from behind a curtain.” And we must go protect our save files.”

The group blinked as Princess Luna trotted out of the room giving the massive weapon a few experimental swings on the way out.

“Was it just me, or did that ax have a stethoscope wrapped around tha handle?” Applejack questioned.

“Cool!” Dash, Pinkie, and Spike chimed in at the sight of the massive weapon.

“There is no way that isn't just an honorary degree.” Twilight grumbled glaring at the ax.

“Come, the Element's are stored in a vault in the north tower.” Princess Celestia rolled her eyes at her sister before leading the group out of the throne room down the hall toward the north tower. Turning another corner they came face to face with a solid wall with only a small janitor's closet tucked into a corner nearby. There were also a number of golden bolts on the floor for some reason .

Celestia's horn glowed brightly and the bare wall before them peeled away brick by brick revealing a large rolling steel door with a faded number and a barely legible word which looked like salt but with a 'u'.

Another glow and that door rolled aside with a horrible scream of old metal showing another steel wall.

More glowing and that door opened up like an iris showing a massive wooden wall with a large pit before it.

Anther glow and the door dropped down like a draw bridge showing a steel door with numerous ridges in it.

More glowy horn and the door rolled up like blinds showing a set of red velvet curtains which Celestia pushed aside before walking through a curtain of rattling beads into a fair sized room lining with stained glass windows. At the far side of the room was a massive vault set into a pillar marked with the same cutie marks that adorned the mares flanks.

“Gee, this certainly doesn't scream 'hey look at me I’m important'.” Spike snarked.

“Really wise guy, then what would you do?” Dash questioned.

“Leave this here and set a trap on it. Then put the real treasure in like a decorative flower pot or something.” Spike grumbled.”I bet they're not even in there because this was too obvious.”

“Pfft, Princess Celestia wouldn't put something as important as the Elements of Harmony some where they could be taken.” Dash scoffed.

“Bet?”

“Ten bits, you're on.” Dash responded.

“Will you two stop trying to jinx us!?” Twilight growled.

Celestia ignored them placing her horn in the lock and letting her magic flow through it before drawing her head back as the tumblers whirled and the door lit up before opening revealing a heavily jeweled case.

“Ooh.... keep the Element's but I’ll happily take that case off your hooves.” Rarity cood.

“Hah pay up!” Dash grinned.

“Pfft all I see is a box some one glued lunch to.” Spike scoffed.” Bet stands until that's opened.”

Rahs took that moment to cuff the pair of them in the back of their heads glaring down at the pegasus and dragon.

“Woof!”

“I'm not jinxing it I’m trying to win back my bits for who the villain was.” Spike growled.

“Yeah me too, I mean I never expected Rarity to win with that cursed lover thing. It might not have been spot on but it was close enough for the booking.” Dash sighed as Rarity adopted a smug smirk.

“Here, take these I have total confidence that you will defeat Discord.” Celestia stated floating the box over before them and opening it, only for a single piece of paper to float out with the words ' IOU one set of Elements of Harmony.' signed 'Discord'.

“Now who called it ?” Spike smirked as Dash growled putting ten bits in Spike's claw.

The others all stared at the box a moment before Pinkie Pie shrugged.

“Oh well if any one needs me I’m gonna be outside in a chocolate puddle with a giant swizzle straw.” the pink mare grinned starting to trot off before Rahs grabbed her tail and pulled her back to the group.

“This doesn't make any sense, that chamber was protected by layered spells put in place by both Luna and myself, no one should have been able to get in there.”

“Now where's the fun in making sense? Besides, you really didn't think it would be THAT easy did you?” the voice from before echoed in the hall.

“Just for a second maybe... yeah we kinda hoped.” Fluttershy muttered.

“Show yourself cur!” Celestia snapped getting an odd look from Rahs before she muttered. “ Sorry.”

“Did you miss me Celestia? I missed you, it was quite lonely being encased in stone.... but you wouldn't know that would you? Because I don't turn ponies to stone! “ the voice growled before humming thoughtful for a moment. “Or is this the wrong story for that line? Whatever.”

Looking around the group of them tried to figure out where the voice was coming from before Applejack spotted one of the stained glass figures darting around the windows.

“ENOUGH!” Celestia snapped seemingly growing angrier by the moment.” What have you done with the Elements!?”

“Honestly do you think I would tell you? You still haven’t returned my record collection from when we broke up, so I figured something of equal value would at least help me start the collection up again after a trip to the pawn shop.”

“Why would you even want those back, they were all horrid songs by lousy artists!” Celestia countered.

“HEY!! Weird Al is a national treasure, so is Dr. Demento, do you know how hard it is to get a proper LP of those old shows!?” the stained glass figure yelled back.” And they don't even make the executive album from Moosey Python any more!”

“Oh and what about all the Prench hip hop?” Celestia demanded.

“By Mel Brook's Yogurt make up, mare get off my back, I was in an experimental phase!”

“Should we go? Did you two need some alone time?” Rarity chimed up.

“No... he should be over this.” Celestia frowned.

“I'm not, but it's clear you need a break.... given your way of telling me no let me in a horrid game of red light green light, without the green light, for more time than I cared to count......” the stained glass window harrumphed. “ Though I suppose I should focus on what's more important here. You lot.”

The stained glass creature flitted between a few windows, popping into a depiction of the six defeating Nightmare Moon just to steal and apple from the glass AJ's flank and eat it with the sound of crunching. He darted around all the windows, circling the group.

“Is any pony else weirded out by this ? I'm weirded out by this.” Pinkie Pie stated.

There was a small pause in all movement as every one stopped following the moving figure to stare at the party pony in a bit of confusion.

“What?” Pinkie asked.

“Well I can assume I know which one is laughter.” the glass creature chuckled. “ As if I didn't know it was Pinkie Pie before.”

“I'll assume from the power level Purple Flank Mcsparkles is magic, and the fake purple one..... seriously what is with that raincoat girl, tacky,....... is... Rarity..... interesting choice there for generosity. That leaves the orange hick as honesty, the blue idiot as loyalty and the one trying to hide under sun butt as compassion... or is it kindness? Not like it matters as the Element's tend not to show any of that when it comes to anything screwing with their precious balance.”

“How do you know our names!?” Rainbow Dash yelled suddenly getting a zipper put over her mouth as the glass image focuses in on Rahs and Spike.

“Shush now, the adults are talking. Now now what's this... A baby dragon and a …... well now I don't know what you are, how every interesting. Those stupid novellas didn't say much about what you are.” The glass frowned.” I don't like not knowing something.”

Rahs' response was to growl at him. Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie winced and the glass figure even seemed taken aback.

“Such language! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” There was a flash and a large bar of soap suddenly was shoved in Rahs' mouth, bowling him over to crash to the floor. “No, I suppose you don't.”

“ENOUGH!”Celestia bellowed loud enough to shake the glass making the figure fall down off his perch atop the glass Twilight's head. “ What have you done with the Elements!?”

“Honestly … so boring Celestia. Predictable.... you've really let your sense of humor go...... your flank too, but in a different way.” the figured smirked. “Fine I’ll tell you, but I’ll only tell you my way.”

The image vanished and appeared in another window darting around as the misshapen jumble of glass one again circled the group peering in through the windows.

“To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.” the voice called before fading away into cackling laughter.

“Crap, I hate riddles.” Dash growled.

“Oh and before I go....” there was a sudden flash as the figure reappeared in the window. “Just so we don't have any unsports pony like conduct from the god tier do gooders in the group.”

The image snapped it's claws and suddenly the castle rumbled.

“WHAT DID YOU DO!” Celestia shouted panicked.

“Oh nothing much... just re did that old fun house trick of mine for the modern age...... on the entire castle!” The image chuckled before popping out of existence again, the colors of the window melting like wax this time and running out to pool on the floor leaving the window clear rather than stained glass.

“Shit.” Celestia swore.”Canterlot better not grow chicken legs and run away.....You all need to get out of the castle as quickly as you can and find the Elements. This room should be safe....... well safer, but try not to dally this will only get worse.”

Celestia flattened her ears to her head as her horn flared, teleporting out of the room just as the first of the screams of the castle staff started.

“Twists and turns ….. “Twilight muttered to herself as she started to pace back and forth. The others looked to each other as Twilight tried to figure it out.

Rahs meanwhile was trying to get the taste of soap out of his mouth with the spare bottle of water he had in his coat. He tried to carry fresh apple juice, but that never lasted long enough to make it into his coat pockets

Twilight paused before the newly cleared window. As she looked out it she noticed something.

“Twists and turns.. I bet he hid the Elements in the royal labyrinth!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Well what are we waiting for?” Applejack nodded, the group about to rush off before a shout caused them all to stop mid gallop and fall over each other.

“WAIT!!!” cried out Spike.

“Wha, what?” Rainbow Dash demanded pushing Pinkie off her head.

“Spike what is it!?” Twilight asked in annoyance as she crawled from under the pile.

“That's not how riddles work. Okay, look, we all agree that thing he said was a riddle but there's 2 types of riddles. Enigmas and conundrums. The first requires a creative solution while the latter is just word play. “ Spike pointed out rubbing the scales of his chin. “Enigmas are posed as problems with metaphors and associative language that require creativity and experience to figure out. For example 'If the sun sets, a flower garden, but if you look after dawn, the garden is empty.”

“What?” Rainbow Dash blinked.

“Didn't you use that one in a Oubliettes and Ogres game?” Twilight accused.” The answer is the sky because the sunset makes a multitude of colors like a garden.”

“Right and conundrums are poised as questions that incorporate puns in the question or answer sometimes both, and this doesn't feel like it's one of those despite that seeming to be his shtick.” Spike added.

“Well then Spikey what do you think it is?” Rarity asked.

“It's a red herring, it's set up to be a logical misdirection. Like the one ' How do you eat pumpkin?”

“Well I have this nice recipe for pumpkin spiced muffins Derpy gave me...” Fluttershy offered.

“One bite at a time!” Pinkie Pie chimed in giggling.

“Right.” Spike pointed out. “The fact the window was made clear just to allow you to see the hedge maze adds into the fact it's a red herring riddle. It's too obvious and I’d be ashamed of any DM who tried to nose ring something so obvious. So we should be okay so long as it isn't a dead end riddle like whats green, wet, on a wall, and whistles.”

Everyone stared blankly at Spike.

“Woof.” Rahs smirked.

“Right it's that stupid riddle. The answer is a herring, because you can nail the herring to the wall, paint it green, and pour water on it.”

“But herring don't whistle.” Fluttershy added.

“Nope, which hardly makes it a riddle, but some one counted it as such a long time ago. Anyway so long as it's not some nonsense like that what we need to do is break down everything he said when he started his game.” Spike frowned. “'To retrieve your missing elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began'.”

“So the twists and turns are a misdirection, but given his plan seems to be sowing chaos and misdirection it still fits, but it's not important.” Twilight added.

“Yeah, the first part is just telling us what we need to do, and the rule of the riddle that we need to make sense of.” Spike explained his eyes narrowing.”The important bit is the last part, finding them back where we began.”

“Woof?” Rahs asked.

“No, he wasn't being specific so it's not just where the three of us began. “ Twilight grumbled.

“He was talking about the Elements so it was prolly the six of us.” Applejack offered.

“But, me and Shy were born in Cloudsdale.” Dash offered.

“But you didn't become Element bearers until you were all in Ponyville. And even if it's not that literal, and a more general word play then where we started was when every one was at our home earlier being told we were summoned to Canterlot.” Spike explained.” In either case the library is where he hid them. Classic tactic there hide them either in plain sight or where you wouldn't look simply due to familiarity.”

“So the Elements of Harmony are back in Golden Oaks?” Pinkie Pie blinked.

“That's my take on it.” Spike offered with a smirk.

“Well if there was ever any doubt they were related.” Rarity sighed.

“Don't be too be too confident in that Rarity, he knows riddles because he's a O&O DM and throws them out all the time, Moon Dancer started calling him Spinx back when we used to play.” Twilight rolled her eyes.” Still good job there Spike.”

“Hopefully we can still find a train.”Rarity added.

“I think I can do better than that. You up for some flying Dash?” Twilight smiled as Rahs groaned knowing where she was going with this.

Author's Note

Speaking from experience with D&D some of the DMs i've had loved riddles a bit tooo much.

Also due to a few complaints i dropped Discord's red text talking.

As a side note watching the episode again, Discord was a angry cuss at this point in the show, very few jokes and a rather angry show of it.

The Return of Har-meow-ny Part 4

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny
Part 4

[Avianna manor]

Wooster raised an eyebrow looking down at Twilight Sparkle and her friends, then up to her brother and her baby brother who was riding on the Moon Dog's shoulder.

The mare's explanation worried the old butler. Not because of the idea that a mad god was running amok causing chaos and nonsense, that was par for the course really, he had been born in Ponyville after all before moving to Canterlot to serve the Bluebloods.

No what worried him was that Prince might go out into it to see what the fuss was about and if it was any fun.

Wooster worried about Prince's ideas of fun in recent years. The parkor run across ten to twelve story buildings was the least of it.

“I will see if he is available Miss Sparkle. I would ask you to wait here but that would hardly be fitting given the ….. weather.... we are having.” Wooster offered pushing open the gate and gesturing to the massive gazebo that was in the front yard that could have fit the entirety of sugar cube corner inside it with room to spare.

“Thank you Wooster, hopefully this shouldn't take long and everything can go back to normal.” Twilight sighed.

“Why are we even here?” Rarity hissed as soon as the butler walked off.

“Transportation. The trains are clearly not running and as you saw before we came here, the Gaurds sky chariots are currently on strike demanding more wheel oil.” Twilight sighed. “Prince was the best bet for something that hadn't been corrupted yet.”

“Yeah that was crazy.... who knew carts could even hold protest signs.” Pinkie Pie added.

“You okay there Rainbow yah seem a bit out of it.” Applejack muttered poking the cyan pegasus in the shoulder.

“ Huh? Oh yeah... the weird zipper lip thing that jerk did is kinda still freaking me out... then there's this place.” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“Huh, what about it? Might bit fancy, overly so ah think.” Applejack commented.” But ah don't see anything wrong with it per-say.”

“I dunno I just have the feeling I’ve been here before but I can't remember when.” Dash grumbled.” It's bugging me.”

“Well, you have had a lot of doctor visits for your training accidents and there's usually magazines like better stables and barns, and other housing magazines there , maybe you saw this place in one of those.” Fluttershy considered.

“Ehh probably it.... but I keep wanting to think there should be a big window over there.” Dash pointed to a large wall on the other side of the yard that seemed to be a three story part of the house.

“What you become a interior decorator or something?” Applejack scoffed.

“Twilight!” Well this is an unexpected surprise.” a voice called and the conversations died out, save the grinding of the masked Rarity's teeth as the graying and faded red maned Wooster and a pure white, blonde maned unicorn stallion trot across the lawn. The unicorn paused every so often to stare at some absurdity in the sky before hurrying forward again and into the gazebo.

“ Good to see you and your brothers, both. Though I have the unfortunate feeling this isn't exactly a social call.” Prince chuckled a little glancing to the others with Twilight.” And who might these mares be?”

“Unfortunately you're right Prince, we're here on Royal business. “Twilight sighed. “This is Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity. “ Girls this is a friend of Mine Prince Blueblood. Name not title.”

“The title is lord, actually, but I rarely use it unless I’m in court. So what exactly can I do for you then? It seems we must skip the pleasantries.”

“We need to borrow the Thunderhead.”Twilight stated.

Prince's eyes narrowed as he heard the name Rarity his attention focused on the mare until his eyes shot open wide at the mention of what Twilight needed. Dash however wasn't as subtle with her reaction.

“You have a THUNDERHEAD!?!” Dash demanded.

“Indeed. Though I don't think we have any suitable clouds for its use today.” Prince muttered looking up.

“What's a thunder head?” Spike asked.

“No no all capital letters when you say it, THUNDERHEAD.” Dash frowned. “Gah those things aren’t cheap and it's almost insulting that it's just rotting away in some rich guys yard. No offense.”

“Some taken.” Blue blood smirked waving them after him as he marched across the grass ignoring the chocolate rain falling on him.

“My question remains unanswered.” Spike grumbled.

“No seriously, it's just, you're a unicorn and those things are designed with pegasus in mind for Sulky racing. “ Dash continued both answering Spike and ignoring him. “And a THUNDERHEAD, is a design built so well that it's been banned from the normal circuit and has its own division. It's just kinda.... I mean do you even have a Pegasus puller?”

“I don't need one.” Prince chuckled. “ A Sulky cart can be harnessed to clouds and pulled along as well if you have a custom cloud harness built. Which of course I have.”

“Oh.... well that's kinda cool but a clouds not going to get the kinda speed those babies should get.” Dash sighed as she flitted around the stallion.

“It can if you use a charged storm cloud.” Prince smirked as his horn lit up and a large multi cart garage door opened up.

Inside the building were a number of fancy horse drawn carriages, many of them gilt and richly decorated as if they were made with various Gala themes in mind.

There was an old hoof powered cart where the driver sat behind a small wheel and two great big barrels acted as wheels. There was a seat though the floorboards were open so the driver could run to make the cart move.

In the back there was a shiny metal thing half covered in a tarp the only thing they could see was the rubber wheels and a front grill with three letters reading 'DMC'.

There were a few flying carts, a steam powered trike and a mage crystal enchanted sports cart called a coquette, as well as a mustang.

“Hello there Doc. Would you mind bringing out the Thunderhead?” Prince called to the mustang.

The deep green coated mustang nodded and trotted to the back of the garage before pulling out something that shouldn't be.

Dash was practically vibrating in place as the cart was pulled out.

The cherry red wagon only had three small wheels to aid in movement and landing. A glass canopy covered the top of the cart and the whole thing looked like a stream lined wedge. A pair of long bars came out of the wedge point connecting to a cloud harness that Prince was working on removing. The only way it seemed a pony could fit in the wagon was if they were lying down. There really wasn't any way for all six of the ponies plus the Moon Dog and Dragon to sit in it.

“Okay Dash we need you to be puller, Pinkie Pie you've got the best reaction time and I’ve seen those whirly-gig things you have, so I know you have a pilot's license. "Twilight considered." I hope you have a license. As for the rest of us.”

Twilight's horn flared and suddenly the rest of them were shrunk down to a quarter of their size.

“Oh no , not again.” Applejack bemoaned.

“BORK!” Rahs growled as the double hit on Spike and Twilight with the spell shrunk him further than the others. Twilight ignored him and grabbed the lot of them in her magic dropping them into the back of the cart in the small bit of cargo space the thing had.

“Okay Prince. Thanks for the help, we'll bring it back in one piece... and if not, well Princess Celestia gave us this task so you can bill the crown.” Twilight offered sheepishly

“Don't worry I trust you Twilight. I'm sure it will be fine.” Prince smiled before glancing over at Rainbow Dash, who had somehow already gotten into the harness wrong and both Doc and Wooster were trying to help her. Looking to Pinkie Pie the mare had on an aviator hat and goggles with a bomber jacket that had a rather risque picture of Spitfire from the Wonderbolts on it riding a cupcake towards the ground like a bomb and waving a cowboy hat over her head. Prince glanced back at Twilight again with a slight frown.”On second thought I will keep an open mind about the billing thing.”

“This is so awesome...” Dash stammered still prancing in place now that she was hooked up properly. The cart seeming to hum as if it felt the mares excitement.

“Alright she pulls a little to the left once you hit a certain speed. Since you've set this up to a two pony run you're going to have to make sure you communicate somehow so you can lean into any turns she makes. The carts enchanted with a anti wind resistance, anti friction and a booster to keep the puller from getting fatigued easily. There's also a light charm to make it more buoyant and an air sick back in the trunk there for Rahs to use. Please make sure he uses it, I heard about the train incident.” Prince explained.

“Dude I don't care what Rarity said, you're awesome. Been cool talking with yah Prince, but we gotta jet, hero stuff to do.” Rainbow Dash called out as soon as Pinkie was in position

Right just....” There was a loud explosion of air as the mare tensed and launched and suddenly neither of them were there any more and a streak of rainbow colored fire arced from where the Thunderhead had been and to where it had vanished in the sky. “..... keep in mind the cart enhances the pullers speed a bit.... oh well.”

Prince smirked a bit as the trail started to fade out , the group likely half way to Ponyville already. He had never expected to see Rarity again, but her being silent and glowering was a much better thing than her trying to hit on him. Perhaps one day he might apologize for his treatment of the mare, perhaps not. In any case he would need to invite them back some time when they could have a moment to talk.

He at least knew he could speak with the rainbow maned one. She seemed impressed by his usual use of the cart, the speed enchantment was an illegal mod for racing circuits, but even the storm clouds he used paled after too long with out it. It didn't seem to matter to her that he had the cart, just that it might not have any use to him. He couldn't recall when he had been called awesome before though. That was interesting. Rather athletic looking mare too, and dude wasn't a term used often in........

“Wait a minute.....” Prince stated his eyes going wide as he looked up at the sky again where the cart had vanished.

“They're late.” Discord pouted.

It hadn't taken him long to set up the maze, a few tricks here and there, some division and twists and the bearers would embody the opposite of what Element they were supposed to represent.

He hadn't been sure what to do about the dragon and Moon Dog, Celestia's notes about them were rather light. Sure he knew all about their growing up and what Rahs was supposed to be, but nothing directly. Luna didn't keep journals and Celestia hadn't been keeping up with hers since her sister came back. So despite the edge he was a bit behind the curve.

Discord frowned. He also hated waiting, it was boring.

Reaching off to the side he unzipped it air and reached inside. Fiddling around a moment he pulled out what looked like a large red book with a bunch of letters on raised squares on one side and a glowing screen covered with words on the other.

Tapping one of the buttons he looked over the scrolling text going back to the start of the chapter to see what he had missed.

Meanwhile a dark gray rabbit was stretching it's paws out of the hole trying to get the device back while shouting curses in Snoopy speak while Discord held him back with his tail.

“Blueblood? You had them go to Blueblood?” Discord frowned glaring at the rabbit. “ And the dragon's smart and not some dopey little children's toy that tries to tell little girls that boys are icky? What kind of fanfiction is this? Why can't you just write clop of me and the rest of the cast like everyone else?”

Discord grumbled throwing the laptop back into the hole and knocking the rabbit back through as well before re-zipping reality.

“Blast this was supposed to be a fun game and now I need to get serious.” he grumbled.” It hasn't been this bad since that time I was forced to meet Celestia's stupid mother....”

His ears perked as he heard something whistling through the air. Hopping back quickly Discord let out a yelp as a massive steel battle ax with a stethoscope around the handle slammed into the ground where he stood burying itself over half way into the stone walk leading up to the maze.

Looking up at the castle Discord could see an irate Luna leaning out of one of the windows glaring down at him and shaking her hoof angrily at him.

“YOU DARE SPEAK ILL OF OUR MOTHER!? “Luna bellowed. “WE SHALL NOT ALLOW SUCH WORDS FROM ONE WHOM LOOKS AS IF THEIR MOTHER WAS A UNWED 3RD SHIFT ZOO KEEPER WHOM DIDN'T SLEEP ALONE AT NIGHT!!!”

“Owch.. when did you grow fangs little Loony? Also good ear on you.” Discord flinched before snapping his fingers. “ Still, don't you have better things to worry about than what I say? Like the three chaos magnets you invited into the castle this weekend?”

“AHHHH PRINCESS THE WALLPAPER IS TRYING TO EAT ME!!!” a young voice screamed.

Luna blinked leaning back into the window to look before growling to herself, her horn flaring as she yanked Dr. Choppy out of the ground and back to her.”WE SHALL CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION LATER DISCORD!! Be still Applebloom, we shall get thou free. Where is Cadence..... oh it already ate her we see. Niece we seriously need to get thou some combat training.”

“Luna playing nanny that's a new one.” Discord snorted glancing up to the trail of rainbow fire streaking across the sky. “But still. I have other places to be.”

With another snap of his fingers Discord was gone.

Author's Note

Damnit Discord..... Leave my laptop alone.....

The Return of Har-meow-ny Part 5

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny
Part 5

[Ponyville]

A trail of rainbow fire ran down the center of the road through town. Some ponies understandably panicked at this, though most simply wondered what Rainbow Dash had managed to pull off this time.

A few of them wondered where the screaming had come from as what ever this was blew through town.

One pony, who read too many sci-fi books, wondered if Dash had just come from the future or the past.

Some were arguing whether the cart was red or blue, though that argument was found to depend on whether the watcher had seen it coming or going.

Some even took note that the fire trail was leading up the road to Sweet Apple Acres.

The majority however, were rather concerned at the sudden appearance of pink clouds in the sky around the town.

The Flower Trio, were already in their dooms day bunker.

Not that that would help.

Pinkie Pie glared angrily down at Rainbow Dash as she leaned over the edge of the wagon that was stuck in an apple tree. Rainbow Dash simply hung from the harness limply her head spinning from the impact.

“Consarnit Dashie, when I say whoa, I mean WHOA!!” Pinkie Pie shouted, a large collection of apple leaves plastered to her face making it look like she had a awesome beard and mustache.

The others were all already on the ground waiting for Twilight to disenchant the spell.

Fluttershy and Rarity were strewn out on the grass trying to make the world stop spinning.

Twilight was trying to focus enough to cancel the shrink spell.

Spike was laughing and going on about how awesome the ride had been.

Rahs was hugging the ground having used two of the air sick bags on the way over.

Applejack had already recovered, and had chosen the large stick she was going to use on the rainbow colored pinata that had crashed into one of her trees. She was just waiting to get big enough again to wield it and reach the dangling pegasus.

“Okay, every one ready? I think I have this now.” Twilight stammered, her horn glowing bright. The spell quickly popped every one back to their proper sizes, though Fluttershy pouted a little as the tiny Rahs had been like an adorable puppy when he was shrunk even smaller than they others were.

“Thank yah kindly fer that Twilight.” Applejack grinned, swinging her stick over her head. With one hard thwack, Rainbow Dash let out a yelp. The stick slapped the harness clasp popping it open and dropping the dizzy pegasus to the ground with a thud.

“Ow...” Dash muttered.

“Sorry AJ, I put on the brakes and they broke.... I didn't think they were supposed to do that.” Pinkie Pie chimed up as she hopped down out of the tree, shaking the leaves from her face.

“Alright, every one okay?” Twilight asked getting a chance to look around now that her head stopped spinning. “ And Dash when I say no loop de loops or barrel rolls, I mean no loop de loops and barrel rolls.”

“I will be fine in a moment darling. But remind me never to do that again.” Rarity chimed in.

“Sure Rarity. Don't do that again.” Pinkie Pie chimed in getting a glare from the white mare.

“Right, if we're all good we need to hurry to get to the library. I have an idea where the Elements may be, but I need to make sure so we can end this.” Twilight stated.

“Really? End it? But it's just getting started.” Discord stated softly in Twilight's ear.

The purple mare shrieked, shooting straight up in the air and whirling in place to land facing Discord.

Standing before her was a creature that towered over the group, including Rahs.

It was mostly brown furred, with the sandy brown head of a horse and a long darker brown serpent like body that made Twilight shudder. It's tail turned into a red scaled dragon tail with pink spines and a white puff of hair on the end like a feather duster. It's left leg was a light brown hooved limb like a donkey, while the rear right leg was of some sort of green lizard. Two wings sprouted from it's back, one seeming to be from a dark blue pegasus the other from a purplish thestrial. It's right foreleg was some sort of large tan cats and it's left was a yellow griffon claw. It had a black zebra like mane running up the back of it's head and neck and the odd head was capped off with a white deer antler and a wavy sky blue goat horn. A pair of missized yellow eyes with red pupils sat under two different sized bushy white eyebrows and a pair of rabbit like ears sprouted from either side of the head. A grin crossed the creatures features showing a large snaggley tooth poking out of the right side of it's mouth, and the whole thing was topped off with a scraggly goatee of white hair that barely seemed attached to his chin.

“Oh wow. Princess Celestia has really weird taste in stallions.” Pinkie Pie commented.

“Now that's just rude. I'll have you know I am a very handsome example of my kind.” Discord pouted putting the griffon claw to his chest as if he had been wounded.

“And what exactly are yah?” Applejack questioned.

“I am a Draconequss, thank you very much. Don't they teach anything in schools now a days.” Discord pouted his gaze darting around the small group. “And all this from a group who decided to run out on my game. I really shouldn't be surprised. For shame. That too was very rude you know.”

“Hardly, we solved your game and we're on our way to win it!” Spike snapped.

Discord whirled. Bending over to look Spike in the eye.

“Really boy, you think this is some sort of game?” Discord questioned while Spike glared back at him.

“You need to work on your intimidate skill. And you said it was a game.” Spike stated crossing his arms.

“Spike, stop trying to anger the chaos god!” Twilight hissed.

“Please, I stared down Nightmare Moon, and he's just an over grown chimera. That's a challenge rating 6 at best. I'm a dragon, a CR 8 , I got this.” Spike smirked.

“This isn't O&O.” Twilight growled face hoofing.

“Ahh perhaps if I was a normal one, but what happens if you add awakened, mythic, and most of the Tome of Deitys templates to a normal chimera?” Discord grinned floating on his back nose to nose with Spike as the Draconequss slowly spun in the air like a rotisserie chicken.

Spike considered a moment. “That would put your CR at least at a twenty, just from mythic.”

“Still think you got this?” Discord grinned flicking one of the dragonlings head spikes..

Spike met his eyes and grinned back. “Probably not, but that was if it was a head to head challenge. I'm just the distraction.”

“BORK!” Rahs snapped leaping over his brother at Discord, only for the creature to poof out of existence and leave a large kiddie pool of banana pudding for the Moon Dog to crash into instead.

“Ooh good try. “ Discord cackled appearing on the other side of Spike before pushing the small dragon into the kiddie pool of pudding as well. “But that is far from a new trick, and I know all the tricks. The game is still on Bearers. Only now I think I'll just use your little town as my challenge grounds.”

Discord slapped his hands together and a wave of multicolored energy flooded out from them flowing over everything before arching off into the distance.

The group winced, though looking around there didn't seem to be any sort of change.

“Ummm...... What the heck did yah do, ain't nothing changed around here.” Applejack asked. “Not that I'm complaining.”

“That's because I don't plan to do anything to this farm. After what your Granny did at the gala I figure I owe her enough to leave her property alone... at least until I get a hold of some of that Zap Apple cider.“ Discord admitted. “ But everything else..........”

Discord spun suddenly as Rahs lunged at him again, the Draconequss suddenly dressed as a matador with a red cape that he whirled before Rahs as he moved. The sound of tearing brought his attention down to the cape as Rahs passed , the whole thing torn to shreds.

“BARK!” Rahs ordered as he whirled on Discord again.

“Don't have to tell me twice!” Pinkie Pie shouted shoving Fluttershy ahead of her as Twilight grabbed Spike out of the pool before starting to gallop off.

The three who didn't understand the order to run still followed suit catching the meaning easily.

“Oh dear, how noble. But I didn't plan to include Lulu's pet corgi in this little game.” Discord whirled dodging another lunge before popping up right in front of the Moon Dog as he turned to go after the Draconequss once again.

“Boop!” Discord grinned poking Rahs in the nose.

The effect was immediate, Rahs sat down hard, his eyes going vacant and his ears drooping as his navy fur turned more into gray scale, his amber eyes unfocusing as his tongue slipped to dangle out of his mouth rear legs going akimbo while his forepaws dropped to the ground before him keeping him upright.

Twilight immediately collapsed as well crashing to the ground and dropping the pudding covered Spike who rolled across the road before crashing into the grass and laying on his back.

“Heeeee, fun....” Spike muttered with a drawl that would make even Snips and Snails pause

“Twilight come on we've got to go!” Applejack rushed back to help her friend up.

“What's the point …. he's going to win any way....” Twilight grumbled not bothering to try and get up , her coat having adopted the same gray scale as Rahs.

“Spiky are you alright?” Rarity asked looking over the pudding covered Dragon slightly reluctant to touch him.

“Hmmm pretty.” Spike babbled looking at Rarity.

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy flinched.

“What did you do to my friends!!!?” Dash screamed out at Discord only stopped from charging him by Pinkie Pie grabbing her tail.

The Draconequss looked as stunned as the others that Twilight and Spike had also changed. He quickly booped Rahs' nose again and the Moon Dog snapped back to his senses and took a swipe at him only to be booped in the nose again and to fall back into a stupor.

Spike sat up suddenly at the first boop.” What the heck was that?”

Boop

“Oooh pudding...” Spike stated, licking his arm.

Boop

“GAH!!! The book Pinkie found when we met look there!!!!” Twilight screamed out as her color returned before collapsing again as her color faded.” Or don't .. not like it matters....”

“By the stars it's a three for one sale!” Discord cackled …” Oh wait a moment there's another link in this chain.”

Pulling a mirror out of a pocket he didn't have, he took a look at what was going on back in the castle fun house.

“SHINING ARMOR YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!”Cadence screamed as she and a plethora of other mares, maids, and noble mares tore down the hall after the white unicorn stallion.

Said stallion was wearing a bit of lingerie on his head in a failed attempt to mask his grayed out features and a massive bag was being carried on his back that seemed to be filled with stockings, underwear and other naughty undergarments the castles mares tended to wear.

“What a haul what a haul.” Shining Armor sing songed as he pronked past a few other maids and female guards, his magic either flipping up skirts or pulling off certain parts of the armor as the perverted rampage continued.

“Colt works fast.” Discord nodded impressed.

Boop.

Discord flung the mirror off to the side where it shattered into a few dozen butterflies. The butterflies fluttered away from the impact quickly passing by some flowers and kicking up pollen. The pollen wafted through the under brush brushing over the nose of a snake sneaking up on a mouse for lunch making the serpent sneeze and causing the mouse to run off. The sound of a snake sneeze startled a group of nearby grazing cows. The cows panicked and ran off inciting a stampede. The stampede kicked up a massive cloud of dust that hid the sun over the Everfree resulting in a low pressure system which began forming a storm front as it moved over the Everfree. This created a massive thunderstorm that drifted over Las Pegasus, which caused Trixie Lulumoon to have to delay her show due to inclimant weather.

Boop.

“This is the greatest thing ever.” Discord cackled tapping Rah's nose like he was channel surfing watching how Spike was going from smart to dumb, and Twilight was flipping from motivated to not, in seconds.

Boop.

The other mares were glaring at him, though that anger seemed to quickly turn into fear. Clearly they were starting to grasp how out classed they were in this game.

Boop.

Of course he was going to win this, and he was going to show Celestia she shouldn't have turned him to stone like that.

Boop.

Seriously as if the break up wasn't bad enough, she had to make sure he couldn't even try to date any one else by making him a rock.

Boop.

Maybe if she had talked to him he wouldn't have needed to go to such exstream lengths to get her attention again, instead it was the cold shoulder and ignoring him. Sure maybe he went a bit too far, but still totally not his fault.

Boop.

Wow, those five were really scared now, absolutely terrified, the yellow one was even crying ….. seriously they shouldn't be that scared, he'd never killed any pony... directly.

Boop.

Wait, they weren't looking at him, they were looking behind him.

CHOMP!

Chomp? What happened to the cartoon like boop? There was supposed to be a comedic boop. Twilight and Spike were still grayed out so that meant Rahs was as well. Discord frowned, also noting his hand felt odd.

Bringing it up in front of him Discord looked down to notice something peculiar about his hand.

Which was of course, that it wasn't on the end of his arm where he had left it. The lion paw ended in a nub that had teeth marks like some pony had taken a bite out of a cheese block.

He blinked turning to look back and noticed his gaze was level with a gray furred chest.

A super buff gray scaled chest in a partially shredded green long coat.

His mismatched gaze rose up a bit more to a maw filled with immense sharp teeth, teeth that were currently chewing on his former hand like it was taffy before it was quickly swallowed in a flicker of chaos magic. Traveling up a little more he was met with glowing red eyes.

The creature behind him had been one he had been much taller than to start with, though at the moment it was bigger than he was. The fur on it might have once had a blue tinge but now it was faded more towards a grayish purple. The beast was bulky and all of it looked like muscle, Discord expected the creature could have bench pressed Canterlot. It's fur seemed some what matted and rose into spikes along the back of it's head and and neck giving it a horned and hedge hog spiked look about it's hackles. The maw of it didn't seem to close properly as there were far to many teeth in it and the muscles of it's jaw had hardened up and become more prominent giving the creature more of a bully box like head. The long ears were flat to the back of it's head and it's much longer tail whipped wildly behind it snapping the air like a whip. the little balls of light at the end of each ear and the tail the only thing unchanged about the creature.

The low rumbling growl came from it's throat, the sound rattled fillings in Discord's teeth that he didn't even have.

“This is new.” Discord commented to himself as the mares had grabbed Spike and Twilight and had already run from the Witch Wolf.

Author's Note

And thus we hit the end of The Return of Har-meow-ny Episode 1 Part 5
Episode two starts after i find out if i'm gonna be killed by this massive hurricane coming right towards me.

Hell of a cliff hanger if i never post again huh?

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Prologue

[Canterlot Castle.]

A massive ax ripped through a stone gargoyle that had come to life. The head of it tumbled to the ground with a crash as it's victim looked down at it panicking.

“Art thou alright Scootaloo?” Luna asked as the other crusaders gathered around her.

“It was trying to put diapers on me!” Scootaloo snapped, hopping up to her hooves and offering a kick at the gargoyles head.” What kinda crazy gargoyle wants to turn ponies into babies!?”

The other crusaders smirked, though Luna looked down the hall where a few very annoyed guards and maids were being held by other gargoyles that were cooing and giggling over the 'baby' ponies.

So far aside from the wallpaper, not much had been dangerous, simply annoying. The usual nonsense Discord made. Luna was still ready to be done with this however. The Oneiroi was going to be a total mess after this as all the chaos magic bled into the realm, as well as all the nightmares ponies would be having for the next few weeks due to all of this.

The ponies of this age were decidedly more easy to frighten, all the nightmares about bee vomit and honey were proof of that.

She was expecting at least one major nightmare tonight, as Tia was battling a swarm of regenerating cake monsters that could only be defeated by eating them. Her sister might be having fun now, but when that stomach ache hit later she would have nightmares about it just like always.

The Crusaders, and her new little sister Sweetiebelle, seemed to be enjoying themselves, though both Applebloom and Sweetiebelle were clearly worried about their sisters, despite Sweetiebelle trying not to show it.

Scootaloo wasn't worried, she was just waiting for her idol to beat Discord.

Cadence had paired off with Shining Armor as Luna couldn't watch her niece and the three fillies she had invited to the castle. The young Captain had a good head on his shoulders so she doubted Cadence would have any issue with him as her protection detail.

Honestly if not for the situation this would be rather enjoyable.

Luna's head snapped around suddenly staring off to the south, her eyes wide and her ears laid back against her head.

Something had happened.

Something that shouldn't have happened. She thought she felt a surge of energy that she shouldn't have, but it was over before she was able to tell for sure.

Still.

Something felt wrong, something felt very very wrong. The feeling seemed to open a pit in her stomach, a feeling of dread that she had no clear reason for, but couldn't shake.

The only thing due south of Canterlot was Ponyville, where the Element bearers had gone.

Luna suppressed a shudder.

Discord had done something, and it was far more serious than his usual nonsense.

“More gargoyles pri..errr...sis..... and is that a giant chicken dressed as Princess Celestia?” Sweetiebelle asked.

“Nah that's that Princess.” Applebloom offered.

“Yeah guess she beat the cake.” Scootaloo added.

“No, that's a chicken in her regalia. I figured you could tell one of your own Scootaloo.” Sweetiebelle snarked.

“HEY!” Scootaloo snapped back and the three of them devolved into a argument.

Luna glanced down at them before looking back to the south. Discord had placed rather potent wards around the castle that neither she nor Tia could get past. In fact the first attempt to do so was what had summoned the cake monsters. Any other attempts were met with more powerful chaotic creatures, so the attempts were stopped. The castle was going to require enough repairs as it was just due to the flying buttresses.

Literally.

Whatever was going on in Ponyville she hoped the Sparkles and their friends could deal with it. As there would not likely be any help from Canterlot.

“SHE'S A CHICKEN I TELL YOU, A GIANT CHICKEN!!!” Sweetiebelle bellowed.

Author's Note

I LIVE!

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 1

[Sweet Apple Acres]

“I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!” Rarity shrieked as she ran towards town.

“You're the oldest one here!” Applejack snapped, shifting as she galloped in order to keep Twilight on her back, the grayed out mare not seeming to care if she was left or anything else.

“Well then I'm too fabulous to die.” Rarity snapped back.” Is that better?”

Rainbow Dash was galloping along with Spike on her back, the dumbed down dragon seeming to love the ride.

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were bringing up the rear with Pinkie Pie hurrying the non athletic pegasus along.

Behind the group was a monster.

There was no other way to describe what Rahs had become. He was the size of, if not larger than Princess Celestia and as feral looking as a timber wolf. His body had gained a great deal of mass as well, he was no longer lanky or corded looking, his frame was more like Bulk Biceps in build , as if he had taken all the magic he gained and turned it into power. There was also some sort of aura around him that seemed to be brought about by his fur sparking and rubbing together making small beads of light that danced around him.

Dash thought it looked like the weird lights some pegasus saw when they were at higher altitudes, the effect called Saint Equine's Fire.

Every pony else thought Rahs was literally burning with rage.

Then of course there was the one between the group and the monsters, one who wouldn't stop arguing with Pinkie Pie.

“This is totally not my fault.” Discord stated as if that would make it become fact.

“It is too you big meany, so do something about it!” Pinkie Pie snapped back.

“I can't, he ate my booping finger..... hand....” Discord protested having started running along with the others.

“Well use your other hand!!” Pinkie Pie shouted.

“He ate that too!” Discord yelped as massive jaws snapped on where his tail had been, the appendage only yanked away from the gnashing teeth at the last second.

“Well what good are you!” Pinkie Pie shouted.

“I'm sorry no one told me there was a creature in your little group that could eat a gods magic!”Discord whined” Celestia's notes said he could barely eat any of her power! And I'm stronger than she is!”

“Yeah well, i bet SHE still has all her limbs.” Pinkie Pie snapped. “What the heck did that boop even do!?!”

“It's an old trick, it reverses a ponies personality.” Discord snapped back.” What the heck is he that that's the opposite of it!?”

“Someone who wanted to protect his friends and family.” Applejack shouted back.

“Someone who looks really hot as a pony” Dash added.

“Some one rather difficult to cook for. Do you know how hard it is to make magic cupcakes as an earth pony!?”Pinkie Pie added.

“A very nice Moon Dog.” Fluttershy added." Though I wish he and Angel could get along."

“ A true lover of theater.” Rarity called back at the same time.

“Well that last bit explains it, because this is all very ridiculous and dramatic.” Discord snarked.

“How do we fix this!?” Rainbow Dash demanded.

“How should I know, I just do the boops I've never tried to fix it.”Discord growled.” Someone else always managed to fix it.”

“By the stars, Princess Celestia made the right choice dumping you.” Rarity snapped.” You are a cad!”

“Right so we only have one idea, but with Rahs like this we can't get to it.” Applejack grumbled.

“Um, not to bring it up , but you seem to be rather okay with not having any hands.” Fluttershy managed.

“Hmm? Oh they'll grow back.” Discord explained. “Even with what ever that thing is, my powers only a bit muted. The only way I can be killed is if there's no more chaos in the world at all. And good luck with that.”

“Really? Well that's nice.” Fluttershy commented.

“Okay, I have a plan that is just, fair, and clever.” Pinkie Pie shouted. “Or maybe just fairly clever.”

“Should I be worried?” Rainbow Dash asked.” I feel like I should be worried.”

“Nope, we just have to get to the Library and not get eaten by the giant death mutt behind us.” Pinkie Pie chimed up.

“We're trying tah do that Pinkie.” Applejack grumbled.

“Yep and we need a distraction.” Pinkie Pie offered again.

“What would distract rabid Clifford back there?” Discord demanded.

“So glad you asked.” Pinkie Pie grinned, stopping suddenly and sticking out a leg.

Discord yelped tripping over the outstretched limb, and crashed to the ground. Pinkie Pie grinned pronked into the air and sped away in a puff of smoke with a 'meep meep' sound.

The hand less draconequss lifted his head up glaring after the retreating ponies hearing the deep growl from the figure looming over him.

“Clever girl..” Discord grumbled before screaming out as Rahs started to treat him like a chew toy.

“Pinkie Pie that wasn't very nice.” Fluttershy chided. Pinkie Pie frowned, her ears drooping, as she tried not to look at the butter yellow mare.

“Neither is he. Ah can't think these three are gonna take to kindly to what he did to their heads. That's if we even survive whatever he did tah Rahs.” Applejack responded to Fluttershy. ”Now that we got some breathing room we need tah get to Golden Oaks. If what Twilight blurted out was right, that's what were tha Elements are.”

“And we seriously need to get to them before Rahs gets bored of his new squeaky toy.” Rainbow Dash growled. “ What even happened to him?”

“Plot point.” Pinkie Pie said flatly.

The others glanced back at the pink mare though said nothing.

“Is this going to even work? Whatever he did to Twilight and her brothers, I mean. “ Rarity frowned.” Can the Elements fix this?”

“Well it's not like we have any better ideas.” Rainbow Dash grumbled.” He did say they could be cured though. Unless he was lying trying to get on our good side.”

“Oddly he ain't really lied yet.” Applejack muttered. “ Not sure how ah figure that though.”

“What about what he said he did in town?” Fluttershy asked as the group galloped over a rise at at the edge of town skidding to a stop as they all looked down at Ponyville.

There was a clear, if uneven, line before them where the normal stopped and the chaos started. The green grass of the field outside of town gave way to rainbow colored blades of grass that were singing something with tinny little voices. None of which were singing the same song so it came out as sort of a muttering wail that covered the field.

The path into town turned from normal dirt to what looked like butterscotch pudding with little round cookies floating in it. The bridge however remained over the river, though it was now a giant stick insect sort of creature that no pony in their right mind would try to gallop over. This was fine however, as the river was no longer resting in it's banks and was now swirling through the air over the town in a demented whirling mess. It was also pink and smelled strongly of strawberries. The group could see fish swimming in it, most of them looking like some sort of candy creature now rather than regular fish.

The town itself, from where they stood, seemed odd , though a layer of cotton candy clouds obscured all but the buildings on the outside of town , there was something rather large moving through the low hanging clouds, and a siren was going off over the oddly foggy town.

“Wow... he really likes food doesn't he?” Dash deadpanned.

“No time tah gawk, lets git going.” Applejack frowned as the group galloped towards town again.

Author's Note

The moral of today's story is....

Never boop a Moon Dog.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 2

[ Canterlot Castle]

“How did a chicken even get a hold of our sisters regalia?” Princess Luna asked as she and the girls trotted through the hall to check on how Princess Celestia was faring.

“I told you she was a giant chicken!” Sweetiebelle fussed at the others.

Luna ignored the trio as they started bickering again with a small sigh. This had been an exhausting day before Discord was freed. She was starting to feel a bit sorry for Rarity as despite being friends, the three of them dropped into an argument at a moments notice. She was also less than thrilled that Spike had gotten side tracked and couldn't make it out to help her with the three of them. It seemed he was often called onto be the tie breaker in such arguments according to Applebloom, who was then teased about bringing up Spike , which then devolved into another argument.

It had been a long time since she had to deal with fillies and she wasn't sure she was connecting with them properly or not. Granted they weren't afraid of her, which was very nice, many of the nobles couldn't even say that. Of course that was because they all expected a sudden return of Nightmare Moon and every curt statement she made they tried to twist into a second coming of the nightmare.

As such her night court was still short on any petitioners save overflow from the Day court, though most who were to be sent before her instead opted to reschedule. That did not mean she wasn't busy however. Many of the more serious court cases wound up before her. The Guards knew Princess Celestia was a bit of a soft touch for many crimes, and knew that Princess Luna was not. Still Luna was surprised at the crimes that were presented. The worst of which she had seen was an assault charge over a stallion. And even that was a weak case to be brought before her as it had only devolved into a slap fight without any real injuries. It seemed along with common sense most of the criminals as she had seen in the past were also gone. Perhaps Tia was correct in her plans after all.

Of course that was just Equestria. Luna was yet to be allowed to speak with any of the ambassadors. Which was a pity as all the stomping around the Yak ambassadors did when they were here sounded like quite the dance. Tia had said that it was rare they visited at all so it must have been a interesting party as her sister always seemed exhausted after the meetings.

“Hey Princess you okay?” Scootaloo asked hopping into the air and fluttering her wings like mad in order to stay hovering for a few seconds at eye level with the dark furred Princess.

“Ahh yes.. Sorry Scootaloo . We were lost in thought a moment. Is something wrong?” Luna asked snapping back to reality.

“Nah and that's the worrying part. We ain't seen anything crazy in a while.” Applebloom added.

“Yeah aside from the potted plants walking around looking for water this halls pretty empty.”Sweetiebelle pointed out as a fern waddled past it's roots pushed over the edges of the pot it was carrying to act as legs.

“That is troubling.” Luna frowned. “ This seems a lull before something is to happen.”

“Hey do you hear music?” Scootaloo asked her ears perked up.

Luna looked around, her own ears perking as a few strains of music caught her attention and drew her gaze to the end of the hall.

Rolling out of the double doors of the throne room was a massive white ball that took up much of the hallway. As the ball continued to roll squishing slightly against the floor Luna took note of a blue, green and pink tassel attached to one side of it before the ball rolled a little more showing a pair of kicking white legs with golden hoof covers.

“Is that Princess Celestia or another chicken?” Applebloom asked glancing to Sweetiebelle who was just stared at the ball, her jaw dropped.

Luna blinked noticing that the corpulent sun Princess was being rolled out by a small group of shetland ponies with bright orange fur and brilliant green manes and tails. It was from this group the music seemed to be coming from.

“Shoo be, doo bee, doopity doo
We've got quite the conundrum for you.
Shoo be, doo bee, doopity dus
if you are bright, you'll listen to us.”

“What do you get when you guzzle down cake?
Eating as fast as the baker can bake.
Don't be surprised that you're terribly fat.
How can you sit on a throne, like, that?
They don't make them strong enough....”

Luna frowned not sure where the small singing ponies were taking Celestia, or where that last drum beat came from, but she didn't plan to let them do so.

“YOU THERE KNAVES. UNHOOF MINE SISTER AT ONCE!” Luna bellowed brandishing Dr. Choppy at them. The Princess of the Moon was also trying to ignore that Dr. Choppy had developed his own wide toothy grin and would occasionally try to psychoanalyze something she said as if it was a psychiatrist.

This was of course absurd as Dr. Choppy had gotten his doctorates in Education and Engineering.

Also not all of her issues could be traced back to her father, her ax was just sprouting gibberish with that train of thought.

“Yeah let her go!” Sweetiebelle shouted trying to match Luna in stance and poise, brandishing a small wooden ax modeled after Dr. Choppy she had gotten from the Castle gift shop.

It was a better seller that the Princess Celestia wig and Tiara set, which amused Luna to no end.

Luna smirked , thinking the fillies attempts were too cute to be threatening. Still the point seemed to get across to the orange ponies as they all panicked and scampered away rushing back into the throne room and slamming the door behind them.

“Well that was easy.” Scootaloo nodded to herself.

“Umm not tah point it out after ah easy win, but is Princess Celestia still rolling?” Applebloom asked.

Luna glanced down at her charges then back up at her sister whose head rolled into view , the Princess of the Sun looked a little green before her head vanished under her bulk which was decidedly rolling down the hall towards the four of them and picking up speed.

“Oh dear.” Luna frowned.” This was not our most thought out idea. Girls, RUN!”

No further words were needed as the CMC took off like shots, having gotten quite used to fleeing the scene of their cutie mark attempts rather quickly. Luna was almost hard pressed to keep up.

“Ooh I'm going to be ill.” Celestia moaned as she rolled after the group.

[ Ponyville]

“Okay is any one else freaked out by this cause I'm super freaked out about this.” Rainbow Dash asked out loud as she flew a bit above the group looking at the swirling river zipping through the air above town.

“Yeah this is pretty unnerving.” Applejack muttered noting one of the houses was upside down with the occupants inside seemingly unaffected by gravity. The house next to it had a large picture window, though the inside was full of soapy water and laundry and was swishing back and forth with a few ponies flailing in it screaming about a spin cycle.

“Yeah, I know, these cotton candy clouds are too thin and they're only drizzling skim chocolate milk. Who drinks that swill?” Pinkie Pie protested.

“Oh I don't know, there's all sorts of animals I've only read about. There's a jub jub bird. And ooh is that a bandersnach? Oh and that must be a Wolpentinger!” Fluttershy squeed “It's so cute.”

“Fluttershy aren't most of those from that fantasy animal guide I got you a few years ago for Hearths Warming?” Dash asked.” None of those animals are supposed to be real.”

“In any case the sooner we fix this the better.” Rarity frowned looking over Twilight still draped over Applejack's back.”It doesn't seem like there's any change. She's pretty much listless and apathetic. It's worrying to see Twilight like this.”

“Looking at Spike's not much better.” Rainbow Dash frowned.”He's been drooling in my mane for a while now watching the fish...... and now you're all staring at something behind me.....”

The four ponies on the ground stared up at the swirling river behind Rainbow Dash as something emerged from the water behind her.

“Shoo be doo be doo...” A voice murred prompting Dash to scream out and whirl around so fast she sent Spike flying off her back to be caught be Fluttershy as her hoof came around striking the pony like face of the creature that came out of the water behind her.

There was a 'whud' as hoof met mint scaled flesh and the pony creature's head snapped back.

The creatures upper body was that of a mint colored, fish scaled, pony and it's lower body was a large fish tail. Any further observation was cut short as the creature tumbled back into the water dazed and was swept away into the sky by the current.

“K.O.” shouted an announcer like voice from some where.

“Oh dear, I think that was Lyra.” Rarity commented. “Bon Bon is not likely to be happy about that.”

“Ooops.” Dash muttered.

“We really need tah git to the library.” Applejack winced.

“This place is just really wrong.” Applejack muttered ducking under and over-sized green and orange mushroom that had grown out of Quills and Sofas.

“ It is horridly tacky..” Rarity muttered noting the formerly white picket fence in front of another house had been painted plaid.

“ And that's a snufflupagus and ooh that's a converter....”Fluttershy giggled as Pinkie Pie did her best to keep the yellow pegasus from running off after the creatures.

“Well at least some one's enjoying this madness.” Rainbow Dash muttered tossing a ball she had found between her wings to keep Spikes attention with her.

The dumbed down dragon was easily distracted and had tried to run off after something shiny at least twice so far.

The one time he had gotten away he had found an odd pink crown thing and put it on. The confused purple Dragon had turned into a odd little monkey looking thing with a few aspects of his dragon heritage, though Rarity had pointed out that it had decidedly made Spike female for a moment. Removing the crown turned him back to the grayed out dragon.

The mares had shoved the crown into the bottom of the nearest trash can they could find and Rarity magically sealed the lid.

It was still better than Twilight, who hadn't so much as flicked her tail since Applejack started carrying her. She was muttering to her self though all Applejack could hear was some rather badly rhymed poetry and grumbling about how difficult everything was.

Continuing through town the group heard screaming. Looking up they noticed that the sun now had a face and it was what was screaming. Granted it was pitch black for the few moments the sun was up before it set and the moon rose into the sky dripping globs of green cheese across the landscape as everything lit up as bright as day.

“I truly hope everything goes back to normal once Discord is defeated or this will be a horrendous clean up task.” Rarity frowned.

As the sun rose again and the sky grew dark a figure burst out of a veritable jungle of swizzle straws that had grown up around town hall.

“OH THANK THE STARS YOU'RE HERE....”

“GAH!!” * WACK*

Again there was the sound of a hoof hitting flesh as Rainbow Dash lashed out.

“K.O.” the announcer called again.

This time however it was a tan earth pony with bright pink hair that fell over with a crash into a garden of flowers that looked like little fatherly stallions. The flowers protested the abuse and Dash took note that it was a small Herb garden.

“I do believe that was the mayor.” Rarity added.

“Rather punchy today aren't yah Dash?” Applejack stated.

“Well ponies need to stop sneaking up on me!” Rainbow Dash grumbled.

“Umm guys we have another problem.” Pinkie Pie chimed up from a bit further ahead of the group.

“I did not need to hear that.” Rarity winced trotting over to where Pinkie Pie was, the rest of the group on her hooves.

The pink mare was standing before a very large hole in the ground. At the bottom of the hole was a jumbled assortment of lab equipment and supplies and boxed up books.

“Uh oh.” Rarity winced.

“Oh my.” Fluttershy muttered.

“Well shoot....” Applejack grumbled.

“Where the heck is the library!?” Dash demanded of the basement of Golden Oaks, the library tree itself no where to be seen.

Author's Note

Twilight doesn't even know about the second doctorate.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Part 3 [10]

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 3

[Canterlot Castle]

“....... and that's why Rainbow Dash is the greatest pony ever!” Scootaloo beamed fluttering her wings.

“That was way more verbose than I thought you could manage.” Sweetiebelle blinked.

“What?” Scootaloo blinked.

“She means it was more wordy than we're used to from yah.” Applebloom stated.

“Indeed, the details of your knowledge about Rainbow Dash are..... graphic and faintly disturbing.” Luna muttered, sounding rather strained.

"That sort of relentless neurotic fixation is something of a stalker mind set. Tell me do you suffer from any sort of depression? Have any issue with substance abuse? Perhaps something of a diagnosed personality disorder?” Dr. Choppy added and was ignored as he wasn't a licensed to offer psychiatric help.

“Yeah she does this.” Applebloom responded to Luna, “She's got ah wig that looks like she scalped Dash. “

“It's part of the Rainbow Dash fan club dress code!” Scootaloo complained.

“Scootaloo, there's like four ponies in that fan club and two of them are creepy older stallions who like her for some reason.” Sweetiebelle commented. “Probably not the same way you do.”

“But Mr. Claws makes the best brownies... I can eat like... one....” Scootaloo grumbled.

“You holding up okay there Princess?” Applebloom asked looking up at Luna standing above the trio.

“We have been better.” Luna grumbled shifting her legs as they wobbled under the weight on her back.

The massive white sphere was squished over top of the four of them trapping them in a cave of white fluff and only Princess Luna was keeping the fillies from getting squished by her royal roundness Princess Celestia.

“TIA WE ART PUTTING THEE ON A DIET!!!!” Luna hollered her eye starting to twitch.

“I'm not that heavy...” Celestia weakly protested from where ever her head was on the odd sphere of her body.

“We lift the Moon every night and thine weight is giving us a hernia!!” Luna snapped back.

[Ponyville]

“So now what?” Rainbow Dash sighed.

“I'm not sure.” Rarity frowned.

“Ah got nothing.” Applejack grumbled.

“I'm clueless.” Pinkie pie shrugged.

“Same as before.. we go to the library. “ Fluttershy stated poking around at the ground on the other side of the hole.

“Not tah point this out if yah missed it, but the library ain't here.” Applejack added.

“Oh I know, it went that way.” Fluttershy offered pointing a hoof.

The other four blinked looking at the yellow mare then off the way she pointed.

“How do you know that?” Dash demanded.

“It left tracks when it walked away.” Fluttershy smiled pointing at the tracks in the dirt that looked like odd marks in the ground to every pony else.

The others looked at the tracks then at Fluttershy.

“It's walking on it's roots, which look very similar to the tracks of the giant squid I had to guide back to the duck pond last year after Spike sent it to visit Princess Celestia.” Fluttershy muttered.

“ Oh right ah forgot about that.”Applejack shrugged. “Well like ah said ah got nothing, lets go.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” A voice called.
“Yeah that doesn't seem like fun.” another voice said.
“Following a tree, totally boring.” a third voice added.

The group whirled around on the speakers three pairs of eyes widening at the sight.

Three fillies stood behind them. A pink unicorn filly with purple hooves and a white mane and tail. A darker purple pegasus filly with orange mane and tail, and a red earth pony filly with a yellow cream colored mane and tail. The oddest thing about all of them was that they were all three sporting ridiculously fake goatee and mustache combos.

“Applebloom?”Applejack asked.
“Sweetiebelle?”Rarity gasped
“Kid?” Dash stammered.

“Girls what are you doing here?” Pinkie Pie questioned.” Weren't you at the castle?”

“Yeah but that got boring, and the weird guy said he'd help us get cutie marks if we helped him.” Applebloom offered.

“I don't like where this is going.” Fluttershy muttered.

“Cutie marks in what?” Applejack demanded.

The trio grinned before all of them lept into the air with a shout.

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AVATARS OF CHAOS, YAY!!!”

Before the trio even landed they had all three taken off in different directions.

“Crap... Fireball will kill me if anything happens to her... then she'll fire me.” Rainbow Dash winced giving Spike to Fluttershy before racing off after the purple and orange filly.

“Applebloom git back here this place ain't safe!” Applejack shouted , dumping Twilight on Pinkie Pie's back before taking off after the retreating red and yellow filly.

“Sweetiebelle get back here, that mirror double look is soo out of style.” Rarity hollers chasing after the pink and white filly.

Pinkie Pine and Fluttershy simply stood there staring after the three as they ran off.

“This is bad you never split the party.” Pinkie Pie states as Spike blubbers his agreement.

“Umm so .. we'll just go get the library then.” Fluttershy muttered.

“Well look on the bright side shy. It's not your younger sibling out here.” Pinkie Pie smiled.

“I don't know , if he was out here, he might get eaten by a grue.......” Fluttershy pouted.

“Right, and imagine what kind of tummy ache that poor grue would have.” Pinkie Pie continued after the tree.

“True.” Fluttershy pondered before fluttering after the pronking pink pony.

There was no way the kid was this fast.

Dash frowned as she tore around Ponyville dodging the weirdness of food constructs and panicked ponies as the odd colored Scootaloo tore through town on her scooter. Dash was pretty sure the Scooter was powering itself and it was currently leaving a trail of blue fire that was making ice crystals form over the ground around it.

She was zipping around angering narwhals and bouncing off the heads of hippos that had come out of the pond to do their rendition of swan lake, and darting between pirouetting buffalo in tutus.

She was clearly doing her best to anger or gain the attention of every monster and oddity in the area and soon a number of them were stampeding after the filly, and by association Rainbow Dash.

Rarity was slapped in the face by a plaid dress and nearly shrieked at the thing clung to her face.

“Sweetiebelle how could you make this horrible skirt!?” Rarity screamed.

“It's a kilt!!!” a red haired pony in green shouted from outside before he was tackled by a bunch of random fillies and colts who went grabbing at the box of cereal he was carrying.

Rarity ignored them and rushed after Sweetiebelle who had taken over Carousel Boutique and was current in a untouchable frenzy of making.... things..... Rarity could not call them clothing.... particularly when the body suit for the six legged pony decided to come after her scuttling like an over sized roach.

Sweetiebelle cackled calmly as she completely cold-shouldered her chalky colored clan comrade, continuing to construct a chaotic collection of cursed clothing.

“Ah said hold up, but noooooo yah didn't wanna listen.” Applejack muttered trotting back towards where the library was.

“Let me go!!! You're the worst sister everh!” Applebloom shouted, the oddly colored filly bound up in a large spaghetti noodle that Applejack had used as a rope to hog tie the filly.

“Yeah yea, keep saying that but yah ain't Applebloom. Ain't sure what yah are trying tah mimic mai sister but ah get a twinge every time yah call me sis. So ah know yer lying.” Applejack stated flatly. The comments still stinging a little

“It's probably gas from all those apples you eat. How about a banana once in a while?” Applebloom wailed.

Applejack ignored her and continued on.

“Since ah know that yer lying, ah'm just gonna meet up with that others and find that tree tah git everything back tah normal.”

Applejack sighed.

“Knowing how all this nonsense is, you'll prolly wind up being Big Mac or something when yah git back to normal.”

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy peered around the corner to look over at Golden Oaks library.

Said library Was stomping around town with an angry glare on it's face and a multitude of roots and branches forming limbs to allow it to do so. It was also currently in a death battle with a over sized lumberjack pony wearing green paisley rather than plaid and a massive blue ox.

The tree seemed to be winning.

It was also screaming angrily about being forced to carry it's dead kin inside itself.

Yeah the tree was mad.

Super mad.

It even had a little cape.

“Sooooooo. Now what?” Pinkie Pie questioned as Fluttershy whimpered.

Author's Note

Only a few more chapters of this left.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 4

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 4

[Sweet Apple Acres]

WHUD!

“Ow.”

WHUD!

“OW.”

WHUD!

To be perfectly honest, Discord thought, this would be immensely boring if it wasn't so painful.

WHUD!

The steroid ridden Moon Dog had been chewing on him for a good hour now and then upon getting bored with chewing he started smashing his new toy into the trees around him. Mostly by slinging the well chewed 'stick' as far as he could before playing fetch with himself.

WHUD!

Oddly, thought Discord, the only reason he seemed to still be interested in the mauled form of the draconequus was that Discord wasn't dying like he was supposed to and was still chock full of magic which the rabid moon dog was still trying to eat all of.

WHUD!

The gray furred beast was glowing brightly with all the excess magic he was bleeding out of his fur. Granted he was trying to eat all the magic of a Pickle Barrel level deity, so it was small wonder he had to bleed off the power. Granted the creature was drawing that magic away almost as fast as it could form and the added pain was more than enough of a distraction that Discord couldn't manage to just wiggle away. Anytime he started a spell that would be the first power that was sucked away by the gnawing mutt.

WHUD!

What the heck had little Lulu made when she designed this thing?

WHUD!

“Ow.” Discord stated flatly as he plowed into another tree, most of his limbs already gnawed off. So of course he now had a itchy nose that he couldn't scratch.

WHUD!

“ Can you perhaps fling me face first into the next tree, my nose itches?”

WHUD!

“Thank you.”

[Ponyville]

“This was a terrible idea, and I'm ashamed I thought of it!” Pinkie Pie screamed out, as she ran away from the treant, the giant lumber jack, and the ox. Who would have known trying to ask them politely for the Book with the Elements in it would have resulted in pissing all three of them off for interrupting their fight.

As she galloped down the street away from the three massive figures running after her she wound up running next to a small purple mare with orange mane and tail on a scooter that was currently leaving a trail of butter cream frosting as the filly rode it. Pinkie Pie blinked looking behind her noting Rainbow Dash hot on their hooves and behind her was a massive crowd of irate monsters and animals.

Pinkie Pie quickly grabbed Scootaloo off her scooter and tossed the filly into the air for Rainbow Dash so catch before hopping onto the scooter herself and slapping on a thundercats snarf, bike helmet.

The scooter started spitting out confetti and cupcakes as it tore along with a new rider.

Pinkie had to get one of these.

“Where's Fluttershy and Twilight?” Dash demanded wrapping Scootaloo up in a mass of clouds and towing her along.

“Fluttershy took them to her cottage for safety.” Pinkie Pie chimed up. “We found the tree.”

“I see that..... it looks super angry.” Dash stated looking back at the crowd chasing them. The tree, blue ox, and lumber jack having joined the mob after Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo.

“I know isn't that cape cute?” Pinkie Pie offered glancing over as a Orange earth pony in a stetson ran up next to them with a filly bundled up in a spaghetti noodle on her back. Behind Applejack was a massive collection of food based monsters, Banana spiders that were offended by the comments about apples she made earlier, Kiwi birds, toucans made of odd loops of fruit, a flaky tiger, and a giant pony made of marshmallows stomping along after them.

“Hi Applejack.” Pinkie Pie added.” We found the tree.”

“More like tha tree found you.” Applejack commented. “It looks super mad too.”

“I know but that's a great cape.” Pinkie Pie pointed out again as the group galloped down the main street of Ponyville with the thunderous rampage following them.

“BWHAHAHAHAHA, YOU FOOLS, BOW DOWN BEFORE THE POWER OF DOCTOR DROPS!!!” bellowed a voice.

A white unicorn mare whose fur was tangled with loose thread and had a smaller unicorn filly bound up in an eleven foot striped scarf and had her mouth stuffed full of jelly foals ran up along side the group.

Behind her a plethora of horrendous animated fashion disasters rampaged along with a giant mecha pony that looked surprisingly like Lyra. Though the large window that made up the ponies eyes they could see grayed out Bon Bon with a odd scar on her face that looked like it was done with a red marker sitting in a large backed chair stroking Opal. Two unknown hench ponies in masks sat on either side of her driving the massive robotic pony.

“Ahh hello there, seems we've found a bit of trouble.” Rarity panted.

“Yeah, but we found the library.” Dash pointed out.

“It's super angry.” Pinkie Pie added.

“Yes I can see it's delightful cape from here.” Rarity added. “ I don't suppose any of you have a plan?”

“Jus one.“ Applejack pointed out.” Keep running.”

“Good Plan.” Rarity snarked.

[ Fluttershy's cottage.]

Angel Bunny raised a brow as he watched his owner pace back and forth looking over the grayed out pony on the couch.

The other smaller figure, the dragon, was currently chewing on a table leg.

Angel was keeping a close eye on Spike as the little dragon had made a grab for him first thing and tried to stuff the bunny into his mouth.

Angel had a bit of an aversion to hurting foals, but if Fluttershy hadn't intervened he would have knocked that whelp into next Tuesday.

Literally.

His grand dad showed him how once.

“Oh what am I gonna do....” Fluttershy whimpered as she paced. What little bit of confidence she had mustered in finding the tree had gone away completely once her plan to ask politely had failed. The tree had gone after Pinkie Pie and she had retreated here with the Sparkles.

She had been surprised to find Angel Bunny unchanged, and a little less surprised to have found he had kicked out all the other animals who had changed, and then eaten their lunch.

He could deny it all he wanted, but she could tell.

She needed some way to bring Twilight and Spike back to normal, but she didn't know any sort of magic.

She paced back and forth as Twilight simply lay there like a lump. Why did Pinkie Pie send them with her?

“Damnit Pinkie, I'm an animal caretaker not a magician!” Fluttershy swore getting an odd look from Angel Bunny.

“Okay... well I'll just do what I can.... first rule of treating animals is to make sure they are comfortable in their environment, make sure that their surroundings reflect or match their natural habitat.” Fluttershy pondered before smiling and darting off.

She came back a moment later with some blankets that she draped around Twilight and all the books she could carry. Setting those around Twilight she was rewarded with a bit of movement from the pony as she looked at the books before she flopped face first back onto the couch.

“I've read all these.... the world is ending..... no more books.” Twilight bemoaned.

Fluttershy blinked at the comment, but this was the first real reaction she had seen.

“Angel quick help me gather all the books in the house, there's got to be at least one she's not read.” Fluttershy stated before darting off to gather all the books she had.

[ Canterlot]

“ So what is this place?” Scootaloo asked looking around.

“Secret tunnel.” Luna offered.

“Secret tunnel?” Sweetiebelle repeated.

“Secret Tunnel.... through the mountain.” Luna smiled getting more use out of that song than she thought she would. Pity she only recalled the chorus.

The four of them, and Dr. Choppy, had finally gotten out from underneath Celestia by using Dr. Choppy's engineering doctorate to burrow through the tile floor under them.

Evidently the CMC had some experience with mining and easily tore through the tile and rock floor.

Still no cutie mark for it however.

Currently they were in a tunnel system under the castle with a few odd crystals sticking out of the walls. Evidently the tunnel was a recent addition by the team of Dr. Choppy and Princess Luna, though Luna wouldn't say why and buried Dr. Choppy's head in a wall when he started talking about the mental problems that could cause 'secret snacking'.

If they headed up the slope they would come out on the mountain side just east of Canterlot, if they went down the slope they would wind up under Princess Cadence's quarters, Luna advised that none of them wanted to go there.

“Hey look at this.”Applebloom stated picking up a battered old brown hat looking it over.

“Hey that's neat.” Scootaloo stated. “What's that doing here?”

“Huh, it's a wide brim fedora.... Looks like a felt base with a rabbit fur in-lining.” Sweetiebelle stated matter of factly getting looks from the others.

“What?” Sweetie asked.

“Ehh, ah'm keeping it, looks like mah sisters Stetson.” Applebloom stated, putting the hat on her head.” Ah feel like ah need a whip or somethin to go with it though.”

“Has your ear tip grown back from the last time you tried for a whip cutie mark?” Scootaloo asked.

As Luna worked to remove Dr. Choppy from the wall every one froze at a loud ' SCHLORP' sound.

The CMC whirled about scanning both ways down the tunnel, horrid memories of the O&O encounter they had with a Grape Jelly-ationus Hexahedron.

Luna was more concerned there was jello monster down here given Discord's attraction to food this time. Granted she couldn't blame him for only thinking about food once he was freed. She nearly cleaned out the castle the first week after she came back trying everything new.

Seeing nothing down either hall with the light given off by Luna and Sweetiebelle's tiny sparking horn. The four of them all turned their heads upward at the same time looking up the hole as the noise sounded again.

Looking up the hole they had burrowed down they saw a white leg in golden hoof cover kicking feebly as the squishy mass of the sun princess oozed down the hole they made.

“OH COME ON!!” Sweetiebelle screamed out as the trio started running with Luna and Dr. Choppy in hot pursuit.

Celestia finally managed to drop all the way out of the hole, with a blorp, before starting to roll again down the slope after the group again as they ran towards Cadence's secret room.

“TIA!!!!” Luna shrieked angrily.

“Oh I am definitely going to be sick.” Celestia moaned as she rolled after them like a massive boulder.

Author's Note

dUN dA dUN dA!!!

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 5

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 5

[ Ponyville]

'Applebloom' growled around the apple that had been shoved into her mouth. 'Scootaloo' had been gagged by a large amount of cloud stuff and 'Sweetiebelle' had yet to chew through all the jelly foals Rarity had crammed in her mouth.

The reason for this of course was this was the small groups second attempt to hide from the stampeded chasing them. The first had been ruined when 'Applebloom' had started singing something about a Mudskipper named Muddy and his show.

Of course that lead to another twenty minutes of running around town like mad before they found another hiding place in a dumpster outside one of the smaller bistros in town.

Rarity was not pleased to be hiding in garbage, but at least she was quiet about it.

Once the mob had passed the others snuck around until they could see the Library, though it hadn't noticed them and was about to start fighting some of the other giant creatures that were hunting the Bearers.

“Alright I have a plan.” Rarity offered.

“Is it a good plan?” Applejack asked.

“Not in the slightest.” Rarity concluded.” But I want this to be over soon as I desperately need a bath.”

“Well I'm in, but only because all our good plans haven't done very well.” Pinkie Pie added.

“Can't argue with that.” Rainbow Dash nodded.

“Alright... lets hear it.” Applejack muttered.

“Right we leave the girls tied up and in the dumpster for now......Scratch that, three separate dumpsters.” Rarity corrected.” Then while Applejack and I draw the library's attention Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie will try to get inside to recover the book Twilight mentioned. Then the pair of us shall do our best to escape once again and meet back at Fluttershy's after recovering the girls. Any objections.”

“Nothin comes to mind.” Applejack shrugged.

“Right then. Let's do this.” Rarity shuddered as they started the plan.

“How........?” Fluttershy muttered looking at the pile of books surrounding Twilight. The mare had read everything Fluttershy had? And according to Twilight it was still boring and every one was doomed. Fluttershy had gathered some potted plants and a few things of science that she had as well, but nothing changed. The pile of things around her couch was done up almost like the library itself.

This was as close to Twilight natural environment as Fluttershy could get. Fluttershy had even opened a limited edition Pontera album to let Twilight read the songs lyrics that were included and nothing happened.

She was seriously thinking of bringing her personal journal out, but she was still wary on that.

Spike was stumbling after Angel bunny, the rabbit simply keeping out of the dragons reach with a very annoyed expression.

“Oh dear this isn't working.... nothings making her snap out of it.” Fluttershy fretted.

Angel let out a number of angry noises drawing her attention and the white rabbit tripped the dragon letting him tumble into a wall before he hopped the other way.

“Well I've tried everything I can think of and she's not reacting. She's in a secure environment, she's been presented with care... everything for treating a animal in shock.....”

Angel ranted again.

“No Angel I don't think slapping her is going to do anything, it's not that sort of shock. Also I doubt Wolf of the Harvest Moon's value as a medical instructor.”Fluttershy frowned.” And don't think I haven't seen you hit Spike a few times already and you know that did nothing.”

Angel crossed his fore paws and hopped over Spike as he ran at him squeaking at Fluttershy.

“A list?”

Angel nodded.

Fluttershy considered gathering up a quill and scroll.

“Lets see step one clear the area of immediate danger.” Fluttershy blinked looking out her window to the madness outside. “ Well that's a check or at least as close as we can get.”

She made a notation.

“Step two,contact the relevant authority to help..... oh wait that's me.....” Fluttershy mumbled. “ Also check.”

Angel Bunny rolled his eyes.

“ Step three help comfort the animal if it's safe to do so..... That doesn't seem to be working.” Fluttershy frowned.” Step four do not feed or give an animal water unless the relevant authority advises it....”

Angel glared.

“Step five make a note where the animal was found, step six do not try to care for the animal yourself, step seven if you can get the animal to a vet do so.” Fluttershy concluded with the list.

Angel grumbles smacking his face with a paw.

“Yes well I suppose making a list of filly scout information is a little silly as none of it applies to me really. I'm the one they would need to contact after all.” Fluttershy sighs.” So I can only check off two or three of these things.

Fluttershy noticed Twilight twitched again at that but little more.

Angel frowned deeper tripping, Spike to fall on his face as he hopped backwards a moment. He wanted these two out of his house, that they were worrying Fluttershy so much just made him angrier. If her usually care didn't work then he needed to think of something to get the mares butt moving, but what?

After a moment the white rabbit seemed to get an idea and ran off upstairs checking all the burrows on the way up as if looking for one of the other animals.

“Oh, dear..... That cannot be a good thing.” Fluttershy whined rushing up after him.

[Canterlot]

Princess Luna's left eye twitched.

She looked back out into the hall behind them where the rolling mass of Celestia had gotten stuck again when the tunnel narrowed. Luna was quite certain she was looking at her sisters back side and the corpulent Princess was mooning her.

She was well aware of the humor in that.

She looked back into Princess Cadence's secret room and to the white alicorn of the sun sitting there happily munching on a box of her thinist of mints. She knew they were hers as Tia had not even taken them out of the old strawberry moon pie box she had hid them in. Her sister hated the strawberry ones for some reason.

“Whoa there's two princess?” Scootaloo asked.

“ Three actually. “ Celestia replied before stuffing another cookie in her mouth. “ Myself, Luna, and Candace.”

“ Tia what!?” Luna snapped looking out the door at the glob of white fur then back at her sister.” Are those our mints of thinness?”

“They were until you stole mine. Don't think I forgot about that, and trying to pin it on Cadence, for shame.” Celestia smiled.

“ Don't thee 'for shame' me Tia.” Luna snapped.” Thou stole Cadence's cookies first.”

“Wait if this is Princess Celestia.” Sweetiebelle asked. “What's that thing?”

“One of Discord's less flattering tricks I expect.” Celestia sighed.

“What happened to the cake monsters?” Applebloom questioned.

“Still in the throne room I expect. I was quite ready to eat them to defeat them.” Celestia smirked at the rhyme.”But under the frosting they were alfalfa flavored.”

Luna stuck out her tongue at that.

“Still after a few bites of very tasty frosting and then the horror underneath I needed something to get the taste out of my mouth.” Celestia nodded shoving another cookie in her mouth.” And thus, cookies.”

“ Where is Princess Cadence any way?” Sweetiebelle asked.

“GET BACK HERE SHINING, SO HELP ME!!!” Princess Cadence screamed out.

“Woo.” Shining laughed sliding down the main halls banister his sack of undergarments grown much longer after he raided both Celestia and Luna's rooms.

“Frankly I am not sure, But I am certain she is alright.” Celestia smiled at the three foals. “ I do apologize for this particular trip being a bust and all the oddness. Perhaps another sleep over can be scheduled at another time.”

“Tia thine are being far too calm.” Luna frowned.” And what are thou even doing hiding here with the castle in such chaos?”

“Waiting of course.”

“Waiting?”

“Indeed. I have faith Twilight and her friends will be dealing with this, and if they fail Bleu already knows Discord is coming back and once she notices the chaos she will show up and likely beat the fool out of him for what he did to her last time.” Celestia sighed. “ Bleu cannot take a joke very well if it's at her expense.”

“So you plan to just sit here and wait?” Scootaloo asked in confusion.

“It is not as we can do much trapped in the castle little one.” Celestia sighed. “ Besides. I need to steel myself for the chewing out I know my former student plans to give me.”

Author's Note

coming closer to the end.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Part 6

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 5

[Ponyville]

“APPLEJACK, WHEN I SAID WE NEEDED TO DISTRACT IT I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE SIMPLY GOING TO RUN UP AND KICK IT!” Rarity shrieked as she darted among the flailing roots, her magic grabbing and flinging the multitude of smaller attackers out of their way as they approached the trunk.

“Ah want it's undivided attention and it seems far too focused on fighting that lumber jack fella.” Applejack darted to the side avoiding another root swung at her. “ If'n yah hadn't started screaming at me ah might have gotten closer before it noticed!”

The pair of them noticed a pink blur sliding down one of the major roots before Pinkie Pie dropped into their midst.

“No good, all the windows are shuttered and Dashy can't break through them before they close back up.” Pinkie Pie yelled. “She's circling looking for any holes or anything.”

“Well that is just perfect, there's got to be a way inside did you find anything at all?” Rarity sighed smashing a pumpkin filled with nine inch nails into a pony with a radio head who was screaming about nirvana.

“Well I checked the front door because that would have been the obvious bit, but it's locked. Then I checked the eyes, and they're just painted on. And then I looked in it's mouth. The mouth is just a carved out section of wood with teeth and no throat or tongue, it was horrible, how can it taste cupcakes with no tongue?” Pinkie Pie ranted. “Also one of it's canines was loose.”

Pinkie Pie held up a very confused looking Diamond Dog before tossing him aside with a yelp.

“Nothing, everything's boarded up.”Rainbow Dash snarled landing atop of a fog horn with legs and arms that had been turning it's own crank to wail like mad. “Gahh been wanting to do that all day. That thing was loud!”

“Right, retreat then!” Rarity shouted.

“One dang moment.” Applejack growled finally having reached the base of the tree by running up a root. She quickly planted her fore hooves and spun about smashing her rear hooves into the trunk of the tree.

The impact was odd, there was no sound of hooves striking hard wood, the sound was more like the squelch of hitting a balloon. Despite the odd sound the entire tree shook from the blow, wiggling a bit like a wacky waving arm inflatable towering tube pony. As the tree shook the six Elements burst out of it as if they were flung from the tree, spinning in place as they fell to the ground and bounded away from the tree along with a large number of very large bit coins which also slowly spun on the ground. After the impact the tree froze in place and a timer appeared over it's head with another icon allowing the timer to run out if thirty red gems were paid.

“What in tarnation....?” Applejack demanded though she quickly took off as Dash and Pinkie rushed around snatching up the expelled Elements.

“Right, now to Fluttershy's.” Pinkie Pie called before the four of them froze as a massive beam of light shot through the air taking out a portion of the air borne river and most of the pink cloud cover around town.

“My word that looked like it came from near Fluttershy's house!” Rarity gasped.

“Then what are we waiting for!?” Applejack demanded taking off to catch up with Pinkie and Rainbow Dash who had already bolted towards the shy pegasus' home.

[Fluttershy's cottage, or what was left of it at least]

Fluttershy winced looking at the angry purple unicorn standing where her couch and the front of her home used to be. The air around her crackled with energy as she panted heavily, her horn glowing and a few of her mane hairs singeing as they brushed against the heated horn.

Spike was embedded in the wall behind her and Angel Bunny had his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

The remains of the rubber snake, that Pinkie Pie had stashed here just in case of rubber snake emergencies, was little more than melted slag scattered across her front yard along with the rest of the front of her house.

“Any pony get the number of that train that hit me?” Spike groaned kicking at the air as he tried to dislodge himself from the wall.

Twilight whirled at the sound looking back at the three of them.

“YOU THREW A SNAKE AT ME!!!” Twilight shrieked turning to glare at Fluttershy.

“Umm, actually Angel Bunny did.” Fluttershy muttered hiding behind her mane.” And it was a rubber snake.”

Twilight whirled on the bunny, her head lowering to glare eye to eye with the rabbit who seemed unphased by her murderous gaze.

“I do not like you.” Twilight deadpanned

Angel Bunny responded with a rude gesture.

“Oh my. I didn't teach him that.” Fluttershy winced. “I tried to get you back by being gentle, but I think he got annoyed.

“Never mind, I'm back, tired, and cranky, what happened? I feel like I missed something important. Last thing I really recall was Discord poking Rahs in the nose.” Twilight muttered rubbing her head.” Oh and … sorry about your house. I think we have enough in the disaster fund to cover it.

Spike finally pushed himself out of the wall landing with a thud on the ground.”Gah I feel like I've spent the last six hours with Snips and Snails. My brain really hurts.”

“Holy carp, what happened to your house Shy?” Rainbow Dash asked as she flew into the hole looking around.

“FLUTTERSHY!!” Pinkie Pie screamed plowing through Twilight and sending the mare tumbling over herself to the ground as the pink mare glomped the yellow pegasus.

“Don't worry Shy, I'll protect you from the evil unicorn who blew up your house!”Pinkie Pie growled glaring at Twilight who remained face first on the floor.

“Evil? Wow and she's not even in her lab coat this time.” Spike smirked. “ Sooo any one wanna tell us what happened?”

“No I'm fine, don't bother to help me up, I'm quite unhurt from the impact with that runaway cart.” Twilight muttered from the floor.

“Well Discord booped Rahs' nose and then you kinda turned dumb and Twilight turned mopey and Rahs turned into a big snarling monster of death and carnage that started using Discord like an all you can eat magic buffet and we went to get the Elements and now we're here.” Pinkie Pie smiled. “ That's just the abridged version cause this stories taken too long already.”

“Wait what happened to my brother?” Twilight lifted her head up off the floor only to be trampled again as Applejack and Rarity rushed into the building.

“What tha hay happened here!?” Applejack demanded looking to the ones clustered around Fluttershy.

“Oh my, your house..... Spikey?” Rarity blinked.

“Yeah?” Spike questioned.

“Oh wonderful you seem alright now.” Rarity sighed..” Where's Twilight?”

“You're standing on her.” Pinkie Pie pointed out.

Rarity looked down to see that the rather fluffy carpet she thought she was standing on was in fact glaring up at her angrily. Really if Rarity hadn't been in such a rush to check on Fluttershy she would have noted how tacky that color rug was for Fluttershy's usual ascetic.

“Oh... sorry darling.” Rarity hopped off Twilight quickly helping her up and brushing her off.

“Rrrggghhhhh.. it's fine... completely fine.” Twilight let out a long sigh.” Now that we are all here. What happened to Rahs?”

[Sweet Apple Acres.]

Something had changed.

Well besides the massive beam of light that smacked the sun in the face and finally shut it up. Really he didn't know why he thought that would be funny.

Discord blinked and opened one eye. He had been trying to take a nap and just hope that the monster would get bored of him and leave, but evidently self perpetuating magic that grew stronger the more chaos was about was a talent that attracted a Moon Dog like a moth to a lamp.

Though for the moment the hurting had stopped.

Lifting his head he looked around noticing the Moon Dog in question over to the side seemed to be coughing or choking......

“HWARF!!!!”

...or vomiting up a hairball. Eeew... wait were those his hands?

The navy furred canine was already starting to shrink back to his pre Witch Wolf size and was clearly lamenting the loss of his coat, and the fact that it looked like the Infragable Krunk had borrowed his pants.

Discord smirked wiggling over the ground like a well chewed snake, while the mutt was distracted he could get away .

STOMP!

“Eeep.... ummm. Hello Rahs whatever are you doing here?” Discord smiled politely looking up at the Moon Dog now standing on his much gnawed on tail.

“BORK!” Rahs growled.

“Pay for what I've done? What ever do you mean?” Discord smiled batting his eyelashes.” What did I do?”

“BORK!” Rahs snapped again.

“Oh right, the boop thing … yeah.. forgot about that..... guess you could consider that an attack on your family.” Discord muttered before screaming out as Rahs started to maul him again.

Author's Note

For those who do not get the joke with the tree. A while back a company called Gameloft made a MLP Ponyville building game. While fun every little thing you needed to do cost red gems , which were purchased with real money.

When you tapped a tree in the game it made an odd noise and spit out coins or Element shards.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2, Part 7

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Part 7

[Ponyville]

“Right, so you say his fur was on fire?” Twilight asked as she galloped along. She had been getting the story of what had been happening as they ran back to Sweet Apple Acres where they had last seen Discord.

“Yeah, it looked like St Equine's Fire!” Rainbow Dash offered.

The group looked at her curiously and the mare flying along with them rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.” It's Spitfire of the Wonderbolt's signature effect. She can cover her whole body with it ….”

There were a few nods and a comment or two about 'of course' as the group of them galloped along with Spike on Applejack's back.

“Okay working theory...” Twilight considered. “ When Discord triggered the switch, he likely caused an thaumaturgy adjustment in the link between the three of us. With my abhorrent reaction to external stimuli I was able to cause a dis-junction with a heightened state of emotion.”

The group all blinked then looked over to Spike.

“ Discord's boop changed our personalities to the opposite of what they should be and her freaking out over a snake was enough of a shock to fix it.” Spike dead panned.

“Well why didn't you say that?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I did.” Twilight muttered.” Any way I'm rather proud that Spike became so dumb, because that clearly means my extra credit lessons are paying off and not a waste of time like he says they are.”

“Not everyone thinks studying is fun! “ Spike shouted.” Let me have my weekends mare!”

“Blasphemy! Anyway the opposite of a a calm... calm-ish Moon Dog would be a Witch Wolf. The way you described him is very close to what most descriptions of Witch Wolves have been. Big hulking monstrosities of destruction and pain.“ Twilight explained. “The Saint Equines Fire was probably the excessive magic bleeding off of him that his body couldn't contain, and if the change affected the link like poison joke does, that explains why he had to bleed it off. Granted that opens many new avenues of study......”

“So when Twilight broke the spell, it did the same for all of us and the magic came back.” Spike continued. “ But Doesn't that mean that Rahs will still be a big hulking monstrosity?”

“ No, because I had a surge as the magic fed back into me through the link. “ Twilight stated.” Heck I'm not even tired. I have a headache, but other wise I'm good.”

“Which is where the big kaboom came from, all that magic coming back at once.” Pinkie Pie added.

“Right.” Twilight agreed. “ Now we need to get back to Rahs and Discord, because if Rahs is back to normal then he's got to be in danger from whatever Discord plans to do to him now.”

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

The six, plus Spike, skidded to a stop as Discord tore past them like a bat outta Tartarus. The Draconequus had only regrown his limbs partially, and was scuttling along the path like a lizard that had dropped it's tail to escape a bird.

Said tail was soon discovered clamped in Rahs' mouth as the Moon Dog rushed past on all fours after the scuttling Chaos God, brandishing the severed tail like a club as he tried to play wack-a-Discord.

“Oooooor Discord could be the one in danger.” Twilight frowned, briefly but she couldn't help smirk at Discord's misfortune at pissing off her brother.

The Moon Dog looked to have seen better days too however, his fur looked singed, and his clothing was shredded. His pants looking more like tattered shorts and what was left of his coat clung to his shoulders and his back.

Rarity rubbed her temples at the sight as fixing the Moon Dogs wardrobe malfunctions seemed to be all she was doing as of late.

Granted Rahs he looked healthier than Discord, who looked like a well gnawed chew toy.

“Rahs spit that thing out , you don't know where it's been!” Spike called out making the Moon Dog skid to a stop and perk his ears up before he stood up on his back legs and spit out the tail as he looked back at the group he tore past.

Spike and Twilight were then quickly yanked up into a hug as Rahs closed the distance between them in a flash, Applejack flailed as she was some how pulled into it as well by being in close proximity of Spike.

“AKK... AIR!!” Twilight gasped before they were all dropped with a thud.

“Woof!?”

“No we're fine, cough, now that I can breath anyway.” Spike wheezed. “Still don't know what happened.”

“Bark?”

“You recall it?”

“Grrrr...” growled Rahs, his amber eyes narrowing as he glared at where Discord had scuttled off to.

“Shining?”

“Discord did say that there was another link when he booped Rahs.” Fluttershy recalled.

“Oh crap, what happened to my big brother?” Twilight winced.

[Canterlot]

Shining Armor sat atop a massive sack looking around in confusion. One moment he had been helping protect Cadence from all the oddity that Discord had done with the castle. Happily being snuggled by said Princess he might add as the discordant oddities were just as good as a haunted house on Nightmare Night for getting her to cling to him. Now he was sitting atop a massive bag of what felt like laundry.

He opened the end to peer in before quickly closing it , his face turning bright red. The bag was filled with nothing but panties and socks.

Where the heck had all this come from?

“SHHHHHHIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYY!!!!” growled a voice.

“Huh? Cadence?” Shining Armor turned, his eyes widening as the Pink Alicorn of Love was in the air before him her fore hoof reared back. He barely had time to note how angry she looked before she lashed out, punching him in the nose and sending him flying off the sack into a mob of waiting and very angry mares that had gathered around the bag.

Shining Armor's world was soon pain.

[ Ponyville]

“Ehh I'm sure he's fine.” Spike shrugged.

“Okay, so now we just need to blast Discord and this whole thing will be over.” Rainbow Dash smirked. “ Game, set, match!”

“As if I was going to make it that easy!” Discord snapped at Dash, appearing before the group mostly intact, though Rahs still had his tail, and the bite and claw marks on his torso were still there.

“Discord.” Fluttershy whimpered.

“Yes yes... honestly I never under stood why ponies have to say my name when I appear and act all surprised like that. I mean you know it's me from my fabulous voice, why announce it again? It happens so often it's gotten repetitive and that's annoying.” Discord sighed.” But on to business, I may have misjudged you lot a little... or at least the unknowns in this like the dog, dragon, and that annoying bunny, though I will certainly have to remember the rubber snake bit. That was a classic.”

“BORK!” Rahs snapped.

“Yeah how the heck were you watching us while he was mauling you?” Spike demanded.

“Because my dear boy, I was keeping an eye on you.” Discord grinned pointing to Spike's back.

Looking over his shoulder Spike let out a yelp as a large eyeball looked back at him from where it was squished between two of his back spines.

“AHH!! GIT IT OFF GIT IT OFF!” Spike flailed running in circles around Applejack.

“So what's the plan then, we've got the Elements and we beat yer game.” Applejack growled as Spike dropped to the ground and rolled like he was on fire trying to get the eyeball off of him.

“I'd say this whole situation should be a redo from scratch. Just to keep it fair.” Discord pouted. ”You did cheat after all by bringing Marmaduke here into play. So what do you say a mulligan?”

“I say.... “ Twilight frowned before looking to the other mares who all nod, then she stared back at Discord as her crown started to glow. “This is for the Library of Vollerei.”

“ For mai farm!” Applejack stated her amulet glowing.

“For the mess you made of the weather.” Rainbow Dash snapped , her necklace glowing.” Seriously if I have to clean that up I'm gonna be pissed.”

“For those poor animals.” Fluttershy whispered steeling herself as her necklace glowed.

“For fashion everywhere!” Rarity snapped her necklace glowing.

“FOR PONY!” Pinkie Pie shouted out causing every one to stare at her.

“Richard?” Discord asked.

“What you all had cool statements... sorta with Rarity, so I wanted one. And well I'm helping bakers so .. ponies, yeah, so, for pony.” Pinkie Pie shrugged as her necklace started to glow.

The Element's of Harmony all started to glow brighter shooting out a multitude of beams that came together swirling towards Discord.

A beam the Draconequus dodged.

The beam swept around again and once more Discord dodged it, wearing a tutu like a ballerina, prancing aside.

“Please, if this is your best shot than I've got some terrible news for you. Tha....” Discord began before his own tail smashed into his face, thrown by an irate Moon Dog. The Elements took that brief moment to whip around Discord in a rainbow tornado like they had with Nightmare Moon. The crayon box cyclone soared up into the air before bursting out in a wave that rocketed across the countryside.

As the light show faded a heavy stone statue crashed to the ground with a thud.

Sealed once more in stone Discord lay there with his arms outstretched, dressed in a tutu and his nose smushed in with his own tail, the appendage now part of the statue and stuck to his face.

The Mane Six and the Sparkle Siblings stared at the statue a moment before Rahs looked to Pinkie Pie.

“Woof?”

“Of course, I've got giant mallets stashed everywhere for giant mallet emergencies.” Pinkie Pie smirked.

“No Rahs, you can't smash him.” Twilight sighed.

“Maybe we can find some blasting powder?” Applejack offered. “Gets rid of stubborn stumps that Mac can't pull up on tha farm.”

“It would be a bit uncooth....” Rarity frowned. “Perhaps there's a volcano we can use, no fuss or mess?”

“Rent a boat and drop him in the deepest part of the ocean, if he does come back it'll be like auto chum at the crushing depths he'd sink to.” Fluttershy offered.

Every one turned to look at the butter yellow pegasus.

“Ummm, so I've heard from some fishies I've talked to. It's not like I planed to do anything to my brother with that knowledge......”

“ Any way tempting all around, but no.” Twilight offered, deciding not to ask at all. “What we are going to do is send a strongly worded letter to Princess Celestia to come and get her ex........ Spike what are you doing?”

Spike had been gathering rocks for a few moments while the others talked and he was currently placing them around the fallen statue.

“Circle against chaos.” Spike said simply.

“Spike, you don't know that spell.” Twilight sighed. “ In fact it's not even a real spell..... although....”

“Not a spell. Though that's where I got the idea. “He stated as he placed another rock. “Basically if he gets power from Chaos then putting him in a very orderly area should keep him sealed. So I'm making a patterned stone garden around him.”

“Would that even work?” Dash asked.

“ Do you want to run the risk of him getting out again before the Princess Can pick him up? This is Ponyville after all.” Spike stated simply.”And Tuesdays in three days.”

The others looked at each other before Rarity's horn lit up.”There is a collection of gems nearby if Applejack and Pinkie would help me gather them they tend to be more symmetrical than rocks.”

“No Problem.” Applejack stated.

“Sure.” Pinkie Pie nodded.

“I'm gonna clear the clouds out of the area, Shy you wanna warn the birds and other animals away?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Okay.” Fluttershy nodded.

“Woof.” Rahs pointed out and Twilight nodded ripping off the top layer of soil in and perfect square as Rahs picked up the statue placing it in the perfectly cleared area.

“Rahs mark the pattern and I'll make sure they are all the same size before placing them.” Twilight stated before a flash of light made a quill and parchment appear before her. She gave them to Spike. “ Spike help with the pattern, but for now take a letter. I want to rant.”

“Now?” Spike asked with a roll of his eyes as he took the quill and parchment.

“No better time while this is all fresh in my mind.” Twilight stated her magic gathering and whittling rocks down to small matching disks of stone the shavings being turned to sand to drop into the space so patterns could be drawn into it. “ Dear Princess Celestia...... No..... Strike that, sounds too nice. Make it 'To Celestia'.......”

“Ahh, it's gonna be one of those letters.”

Spike nodded and began to write as Twilight ranted.

Author's Note

Okay four things here.

One the scene where they blast Discord is based on this.

With Rahs playing Sokka using Discord's tail.

Two I do agree this stretched on too long. I planned to end it after 8 chapters total and i got carried away a bit.

Three it was noticed i was Worfing Rahs, so i went the other way this time and Worfed every one else.

Four there is one more chapter, an epilogue.

The Return of Har-meow-ny, Episode 2 Epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Return of Har-meow-ny,
Episode 2
Epilogue

[Canterlot Castle, two days later]

Princess Celestia sat at the table in her meeting room, sipping a cup of tea. It was a nice peach tea, some what sweet and not that difficult to make. Given what was coming she thought it best not to be drinking anything too fancy. She had also broken out her mithril tea set. It changed the flavor a little, though the sets durability was why she had it out.

The three others in the room with her remained silent as well, but they also remained out of the way of the door and made sure to not get between it and the solar diarch.

A Guard had briefly come in and alerted her that the ones she was waiting for had gotten away from the press and nobles and were now in the castle proper. Nearly all the castle staff and Guards had all taken the rest of the day off with reasons ranging from, 'an old hoof ball injury acting up' to ' buck this, it's above my pay grade'.

At least the last one was honest.

She heard them well before they came close to her door, the hoof falls on the tile floor outside and the varied shouts and ranting.

It wasn't long after hearing that, that the door to her chambers was flung,being knocked off it's hinges and crashing to the floor with a loud bang.

Celestia sighed, she expected Twilight to be mad at her but this was a bit excessive..... wait…........ Celestia blinked..... that wasn't Twilight at the door.

The pink earth pony stormed over the door to Celestia's tea table hopping up onto it, and stomping over to get directly in Celestia's face crushing several pieces of her tea set under hoof like they were tin cans.

“Pinkie Pie?” Celestia stammered.

“I forgave the prank with your bird. But you just made two of my friends go through a massive crowd for a stupid ceremony and I want reasons to not do what I really wanna do for making them freak out right after we got done dealing with your ex.” Pinkie Pie growled poking Celestia's chest with her hoof splattering some of the tea she had stomped through onto Celestia white coat.

“Ummm.” Celestia blinked.

“Talk. Fast.” Pinkie Pie snarled.

“Damage control Pinkie. It was damage control.” Cadence placated from where she had stepped back away from the door. ”Please get off the table and we'll explain.”

The pink earth pony narrowed her eyes at the pretender to pinkness, before she glared back at Celestia and slowly walked backwards off the table, stomping flat a few more tea cups before she sat down on the other side of the table with her form limbs crossed as she continued her glare at Celestia.

Celestia glanced past Pinkie to the others in the doorway. Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked ready to ignore anything they saw in here up to and including Pinkie Pie going postal.

Rarity was fretting over the hem of her rain coat. It was a very 'red' raincoat, with matching boots and hood. The sort of red rain coat that wouldn't show certain colored stains.

Rahs was glaring at her and Luna, but he was also hunched over with a rather large quivering lump on his back under his new maroon coat. He had been carrying Twilight, though he had set her down and Spike was holding up a paper bag for Twilight to hyperventilate into. Celestia was keenly aware that two Sparkle males had not been swept along in the pre-misson speech like the others had.

“I agree with Pinkie Pie, start explaining. Twi had a level two break down the second that ceremony ended and she's been hyperventilating since.” Spike snapped.

“So's Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash stated patting the lump on Rahs' back.

“Not to change the subject, but who is this?” Rarity asked looking up at the fourth figure in the room with the three Princesses.

“First things first.” Princess Luna stated, her horn lighting up to yank Fluttershy from under Rahs' coat before she gave the flailing pegasus to Cadence. Once that was done she then pulled Rahs into the air before her and held him there as she examined him.

Princess Celestia did the same for the now shrieking Twilight, and Spike found himself picked up by a unfamiliar blue dragon who was a little larger than Celestia.

“GAH!! Watch it with those claws lady, at least buy me dinner first!” Spike grumbled.

“Well?” Cadence asked, giving Fluttershy to Pinkie Pie. She paused a moment looking down at the pair before smiling and backing away from the death glare the pink pony gave her.

“The link is permeated with it. Though like you found with Shining it seems to be more faded that it should be.” Princess Celestia frowned looking over Twilight with out seeming to see her. “That will cause a few problems if it isn't purged from the link. But it isn't as bad as I thought.”

“Agreed.” The Dragoness, Bleu Scale, Goddess of the Storms, nodded turning Spike around in her claws gently as the little drake flailed. “He has some of the same build up and that will cause issues with how he grows, but it's as unpredictable as anything else Discord does. He should be fine.”

“This was as expected, while the traces are there, most of it has already cycled through his system. “ Luna offered.” We believed that were it not for the link the issue would have cleared itself from his system by now. So it is the link itself that is affected. Still most of it seems drawn down his connections, by design he is eating the chaotic energy.”

“Great so the one thing you do right, you do super right, despite the practice being banned.” Bleu rolled her eyes.

“THIS IS NOT EXPLAINING!! WHY IS THERE NO EXPLAINING!?!?!” Pinkie Pie bellowed lifting a hoof and pointing at Celestia and Luna. “Black list one month!”

Celestia raised an eyebrow noting the other Ponyville residents flinch. Luna simply seemed confused.

“Pinkie ah hate tah say it but ah don't think tha Princesses need to come to Ponyville fer their treats.” Applejack stated.

“Oh I know that silly, but recently I got most of Canterlot to agree with the idea. And all those caters at the Gala thought it was a great plan. So did the castle staff I talked to.” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully before turning her doom gaze back to Celestia. The effect was slightly lessened given that Fluttershy was clinging to the pink ponies back.

“Well.... Princesses might ah suggest you start explaining a'fore yah git it worse?” Applejack nodded. “ Tha Black list is not a joke.”

“Start with this.” Spike stated pointing at the Dragon holding him.

“Yes, well, now that I've checked you out I suppose introductions are in order. My Name is Bleu Scale, Goddess of the Dragons and the Storm. I'm here as sort of a back up plan in case you all failed against Discord as well as to check up on you little Prince.”

“Little what?!!” Rarity stammered.

“Hmm? Oh, by right of birth Spike here is pretty much a Prince of Dragons. Granted there's about thirty of those running around and Princesses too, so there's not much to it.” Bleu shrugged. “ But Celestia seemed to think it was important for some reason. Dragons don't care about status, heck even I have to kick the waiters flank before I get a good seat at a restaurant. And I'm their flipping god.”

“ Wait! You're the Dragon god! “ Spike waved his arms excitedly.” Do you actually know who my parents are?”

“I do in this case. Though I will save you the disappointment of further questioning. You are much better off with your pony parents. Dragons tend to be very very claws off when it comes to raising their young. We often have Clutch mothers who watch over a large batch of mixed eggs. Most dragons never meet their parents, nor do many really care. There are of course exceptions, usually when one has a powerful linage.” Bleu explained. “ You were sent here as an egg as you were a stubborn egg that would not hatch. It was thought that perhaps the god of ponies might be able to help you. Hatch... not become a paperweight.”

Bleu glared at Celestia who whistled innocently and Spike simply looked confused.

“In any case if you have any questions that arise about being a dragon I will tell you what is relevant. Just send them to Celestia, she knows how to contact me. Though don't do it too often as I am rather busy.” Bleu claimed getting a glare from both Celestia and Applejack at the obvious lie.

“As to what we are looking for, the Sparkles were touched by chaos, that tends to leave a lingering effects. Ones we can barely detect and that is intertwined with thine link.” Luna offered frowning as she noticed that Rahs was glaring angrily at her. “We do not expect there will be much trouble from this. The taint we can sense in the link is all being drawn to Rahs along with the excess magic he feeds upon. At best we think it will be gone in a month or so.”

“We probably wouldn't have noticed at all if that letter you sent Celestia hadn't exploded in her face when she finished reading it.” Cadence offered.

“Yeaaaaah chaos magic, that's it... we'll go with that.” Twilight muttered. “ All Discord's fault.....”

“That still doesn't explain the ceremony.” Rainbow Dash snapped.

“Agreed, while I am quite thrilled to be recognized for my part in this I am well aware the others are not.” Rarity frowned. ”We managed to come to an agreement that you were correct about Discord so while we are very annoyed that you sent us after your ex, we are not holding that against you Princess.......”

“Speak for yourself.” Spike growled.

“Most of us are not holding it against you. Provided of course that the crown aides in the repair of Ponyville. While much of the chaos went back to normal, having a river dropped in the middle of town washed a number of buildings off their foundations, caused a great deal of damage and flooded every pony's basements. Jynx is also requesting aid as her packs tunnels were flooded from the river. Thankfully most of the farms were outside the 'splash zone' as it were, but all of the business in town are at best in disarray and at worst, washed away. Including mine Princess.” Rarity finished coldly.

“Done.” Celestia stated simply setting Twilight down next to Pinkie Pie. She floated a pile of newspapers up from behind her and dropped them on the table. The papers seemed to come from all over Equestria and there were some from as far as Saddle Arabia, and the Minotaur islands. “This is why we had the ceremony.”

The group gathered around the Table, save Spike who continued to flail and try to get away from the Dragoness holding him and Rahs, who while back on his paws had not left from glaring at a now worried Luna.

“How in tha heck?” Applejack demanded looking over one of the papers.

The groups faces were plastered front page of every single paper. With captions declaring them as the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Some of the papers went on about how they defeated Nightmare Moon, with several side issues connecting the Nightmare to the long lost Princess Luna. And all of them had photos of the defeat of Discord. All of the pictures were clearly taken either by Discord himself or something near him judging by the point of view shown in them.

“Oh dear. I thought I saw a shutterbug in that clearing, but I was too busy to look.” Fluttershy muttered.

“As a last ditch joke it seems Discord outed the Elements of Harmony.... as well as a large number of my personal journals, to the press across Equss.” Celestia sighed. “Hiding you is no longer an option. However I did plan ahead for something like this. First off the ceremony was to blind side every one who might potentially try to deny or seek to work these claims into their favor. With the crown openly accepting you so quickly it makes it significantly harder for any one else to try and claim a connection. Second the pay that I've been forced to mask in other things can now be brought out into the open and can easily be increased to match your status as heroes.”

“Princess I didn't even do anything this time my friends did all the work and I spent the whole event almost in an artificially created fugue.” Twilight sighed.

“Are you trying for hazard pay?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“What no.. it's just.... I didn't do anything...” Twilight pointed out.

“You wielded an Element of Harmony against a threat.“ Bleu chimed in.”We can hardly call that nothing.”

“ Honestly Darling relax, it was not as if we all didn't make some sort of mistake with this.....” Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash all winced.

[ Yesterday, Ponyville.]

“Hello? Is any one out there? This dumpster seems to be locked and it really, really stinks in here.”

There was banging on one of the lids of the dumpsters that had been washed up against the school house on the other side of Ponyville from where they started.

“Hello?” Fireball called out again, glad there was at least some cloud stuff in the dumpster with her so she wouldn't have to stand in the smelly mess.

“Why is all I can taste jelly foals? What's going on? MOOOOOOM!!!” Button Mash hollered from another dumpster.

“WAIT TIL MY DADDY HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!” Diamond Tiara screeched from the last dumpster.

[ Canterlot Castle]

“Yeah..... really glad Cheerilee went to check on the school, cause I completely forgot about them.” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head.

“Moving on past that I have contingencies for all this. The Ponyville Guard Post will be getting more funding and become a larger post. The new building will be placed on the edge of town in order to be a buffer from the forest and the town itself. The Guard increase in town shall also necessitate the upgrading of a number of town facilities including a hospital and other government funded aide as need be. I will be speaking to the Mayor at a later time for a full list of what is needed.” Celestia listed.

“We have these to present to thee as well.” Luna smirked a little as she gave Applejack, Rahs, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and oddly Fluttershy, each a rolled scroll.

“What's this?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“That one is actually for Angel Bunny. They are hunting permits for paparazzi, nobles, and other ner-do -wells that might seek to cause trouble for thee now that thine presence is known. You cannot simply send the problems to Tartarus of course, but we expect that some property damage, equipment destruction, and mild injury to the offending parties will be easily accepted.” Luna explained. That these permits exist have been spread along with the information that the crown would prefer thou to be left alone.”

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into that.” Celestia sighed.

“Woof.” Rahs demanded simply. Luna's eyes widened and the others who could understand him whirled to look at the Moon Princess.

“We told you there are no such things as Witch....” Luna began.

“BORK!” Rahs snapped slapping his chest with a paw.

“Thou became one.......” Luna's eyes seemed to get even bigger.” That should not be possible..........”

“BARK.” Rahs explained.

“It would be kind of hard to miss all the teeth and claw marks on that statue we sent back.” Twilight frowned. “Discord turned Rahs into the very image of how the old legends described a Witch Wolf.”

“Given all the information we gathered before you came back, we know Witch Wolves existed. We've got hard evidence and even another name. Sik Imitaa.” Spike explained watching Luna wince at the name.

“With what we already know, in time we can probably find the whole story. Even if we have to track down another god and ask them.” Twilight threatened. “If you want to continue claiming to be Rahs' grand mother, we want answers before something else happens.”

Rahs simply glared at Luna an nodded.

The room was quite silent as all eyes fell on Luna. The night princess seemingly wilting in on herself.

“Ease up for now Sparkles.” Bleu Scale stated with a sigh, suddenly breaking the silence as she finally put Spike down. “It's not easy for one to explain their biggest failures in life. Doubly so for gods. Give her time and I'm sure she'll let you know.”

“We.....we.... thank you for that Bleu.” Luna muttered.

“Don't thank me yet, if you don't tell them what happened, I will. And my version of things does not paint you in a favorable light, Vulon Vol.” Bleu frowned as Luna winced again at a name.

Rahs frowned adding another name to the list of names he had heard Luna refereed to. He honestly didn't care what Luna had done, at least not without hearing about it first, but he wanted to know some way to be changed back to normal if he ever went that far again.

Unlike Spike, who was too dumb to recall what happened, and Twilight who was to apathetic to bother to pay attention to anything going on, he recalled his time as a Witch Wolf completely.

It was nothing but rage and hate. Overpoweringly so.

No. That wasn't quite it.

There was no real rage, there was no real hate either. Certainly he felt anger at discord, but it was secondary.

All he felt was joy.

Joy at wanton destruction. Joy at making some one suffer. Joy for causing pain and at trying to kill. Thankfully the Chaos god remained intact and active enough to hold his attention.

If he hadn't, and Rahs had gone into town in that state......

Rahs shuddered.

Things would have been much much worse than just a river washing through the town, had Discord managed to get away from him earlier. He almost wanted to thank the annoying god for that, whether he knew what he was doing or not.

Rahs glared at Luna again, the Goddess of the Night not meeting his gaze. He needed to know what might change him into that so he could avoid it at all costs, or destroy it so there would be no risk.

This made two things he had to hide from his siblings and friends. Rarity knew about what happened in the tunnels and the others seemed to have some idea of what he became. Spike and Twilight didn't and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Hey Cadence, what happened to my big brother? “ Twilight asked suddenly. “ Did he get changed by Discord due to the link too?”

The pink mare paled as the logic of it slapped her across the face.

“Gottagobye” Cadence stated tearing out of the room at a speed that made some of them think she finally learned to teleport.

“What was that about?” Spike asked.

[Canterlot Hospital]

Shining Armor shifted a bit in the body cast he was currently in. His nose itched something fierce and even with the pain killers the doctors gave him , he hurt all over.

He still had no clue what the heck had happened either.

[Canterlot Castle]

“As much as I would like to let you all go to rest there is something else that has come up that I wish to pass onto you.” Celestia sighed.

“So help me if it's another ex.” Rainbow Dash grumbled.

“It may be.. I'm not sure yet.” Celestia offered.

“THAT WAS A JOKE!” Dash screamed beating her head against a wall.

“Madness, Envy, Lust, Magic, Greed, and Pride, all with a fiery purple blue center.” Celestia stated the words drawing everyone's attention.

“ What's that supposed to mean?” Twilight asked.

“ It's a prophecy. And annoying one, but one that's starting to come to pass.” Bleu Scale offered.

Twilight considered.” The madness means Discord doesn't it?”

“That was what we concluded.” Celestia stated. “ Though that was the easy part. Envy, Lust, Magic, Greed, and Pride are all mysteries still. And aside from magic, they all seem like threats.”

“What about the last bit?” Spike asked.

“That I think we have figured out.” Bleu commented pointing a claw at Spike. “ Firey.” Then to Twilight.” Purple.” Then to Rahs.” Blue.”

“It means that you three are going to be at the center of this, and likely the other Element Bearers as well. Given who gave this prophecy, it will come to pass whether we fight it or not.” Celestia sighed. “ I really hate this cryptic nonsense.”

“Bork.” Rahs growled.

“She's not black Rahs... and neither is the kettle I smushed , that's more silvery.... though given her size I can see the kettle.” Pinkie Pie offered getting a glare from Celestia one that was countered with a rather creepy smile from Pinkie.

“At any rate that is all we have. All my cards are on the table with this now Twilight.” Celestia sighed. “ So what are you going to do?”

Author's Note

And thus ends Episode one. Filled with Chaos, splaining and more hints and threats of forth comeing events.

Also a cliff hanger cause i'm a jerk like that.

Vulon Vol is skyrim Draconic speak for Night Horror.

Up next after all this... Litten Zero.

Keeping with a cat pun this season and adding a pokemon one to the next chapter.

Litten Zero

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Litten Zero

[ Ponyville, two weeks after the defeat of Discord, Summer]

Twilight looked up from her book at a catastrophic sounding crash. Her gaze running over the view of Ponyville she had from her star gazing balcony at the top of Golden Oaks Library. It didn't take her long to spot some worker ponies picking up the pieces of a wall they just knocked out down the street. The whole thing needed to be removed to be replaced, the water damage to the town alone was staggering even before counting the structures that were simply swept away.

Golden Oaks had survived the rush of water rather well, only losing a few branches and having the basement flooded. Twilight had already sent all the books off to be restored and reordered some of her lab equipment that was destroyed.

Seeing there was no real issue Twilight went back to her book.

It was a clear and sunny day, the weather patrol was keeping the clouds away until the town could be dried out fully, though with so little work Rainbow Dash was taking part of her new third favorite activity, hunting.

To be honest most of those living in Ponyville were glad for those who came to town because of the Element Bearers living here.

Not entirely for the business that the markets, restaurants, and the towns only motel gained either.

There had been some issues with all the new stores and shops opening, but surprisingly Mr. Rich wasn't one of the ones that had any trouble. He had simply pointed out that all these new startups needed to get supplies from some where and had offered a new program giving a small discount for bulk purchases at Barnyard Bargains. He also offered discounted cleaning and building supplies for all the repairs going on.

That stallion knew how to bring ponies in.

No, the main reason that the town was happy with the new comers in town was that Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie's pranking sprees now had targets other than towns ponies.

The less said about the noddle incident with Jet Set when that noble came to town the better.

Rahs so far had only dealt with one paparazzi. But the stallion in question was so freaked out by the experience that he immediately left town screaming and made all the others wary of going near Golden Oaks library. Rahs claimed this was his second meeting with that particular pony and the first encounter was far less pleasant, Her brother wouldn't elaborate more than that, but Spike found it hilarious.

Rahs was currently writing a number of letters to various stage companies in Canterlot and beyond, trying to convince them to put on the 'Peanut Cracker' for the upcoming holidays.

He figured he was a shoe in to play the rat king so long as it wasn't an on ice performance.

Twilight would say he was a little early with this, but Barnyard Bargains was already getting in Hearths Warming decorations. Filthy Rich refused to back down saying that he would stop selling things like that so early if ponies stopped buying them so early. Evidently he had already sold out of half the lights.

Pinkie Pie was strangely silent about her stance on the early decorations, though Mrs Cake was complaining about the glow from her room keeping her awake.

Still the group had been questioned some. In fact the only one of them that had not even seen a reporter was Fluttershy.

Pinkie Pie later explained that Angel Bunny was using his permit to the fullest and the other animals were joining in. A roc had carried off a claw full of reporters dumping them in the middle of the Everfree. Harry the Bear was a common feature in town chasing paparazzi, and Twilight was going to have nightmares about what the squirrels did.

Angel Bunny himself didn't seem to be doing anything at first, at least until a week later when a gaggle of nobles suddenly popped into existence on a Tuesday after being missing for a week.

With all her defenders Fluttershy was left alone.

Rainbow Dash was of course hamming it up between her pranks and naps. Going on about how awesome she was.

Pinkie Pie was driving them mad. Either they couldn't catch her or she started interviewing them. Even the photos they took never showed the mare directly there was always something blocking the shot or she ducked or there was a completely different mare standing there.

One reporter had taken a photo and had then been committed to an asylum after setting all his equipment on fire and screaming 'SHE COMES!!' in between bouts of unintelligible gibberish.

Rarity wasn't much better than Dash and most of the nobles and reporters were more than willing to flock to her with how she was willing to put up with them while pretending she didn't like them. Granted she was also in a different outfit every time some one saw her, getting plenty of free advertising.

Applejack ignored them, but she was left alone while at the farm after Granny Smith showed she still knew how to fire her grand pappies' shot gun. She still couldn't hit anything, but they didn't know that.

All six of them had gotten a number of proposals and 'deals' sent to them from various nobles and other ponies. Twilight and Rarity worked to sort them at first though they were quickly swamped with all the double talk and frivolous pandering. Twilight finally gave up and asked Prince and Cadence if they could help out some how.

Prince managed a few things including getting the Everfree forest marked as a natural and historical site, thus preventing any one from cutting down any trees to build.

The Alpha Jynx had accepted the land that once held the Bone Hound warrens and had opted to leave it to grow wild. She absolutely refused to allow anyone to build there claiming it was a historical battle ground. The marker left by Princess Luna was more than enough proof for most, even if they couldn't sense the strange unease of the area like the locals could.

This left only a few places for any pony to build and with the cost of insurance most nobles skipped out on building any extra summer homes near Ponyville.

The proposals also stopped once Cadence got involved. At least they stopped to every one save Applejack, who ignored them, and Rarity, who Twilight was certain was putting them in a scrapbook.

Rahs was just annoyed that he wasn't getting any letters, something that of course he was teased about. But even Twilight found it odd that no one was trying to butter her brother up. Even Spike had received a number of letters and a few proposals. He claimed there were no pictures attached but Twilight had to wonder.

Rahs had received zero however and it made little sense to her.

[ Some where in Ponyville]

“WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PONIES!?!?! “Saturnia screamed from under the newest massive pile of mail that had been intercepted before it could get to Rahs. She ripped open one letter from some floozy named Trixie, and scanned. “ This one's writing like she's known him for years!” She read some more.”And she plans to visit!!! Seriously!?”

One of the other Changelings nearby had opened a letter and was whistling at the full page photo included of the mare who wrote it inside. “Dunno, but I've never wanted to be a dog as much as I do now....” the Changeling muttered.

[Library]

Of course with everything going so smoothly an issue had to crop up, though it sorted itself out rather quickly.

Given their relation to the Element Bearers, both real and imagined, the Cutiemark Crusaders, plus Spike, had been foal napped.

The foal napping had lasted three full hours and wouldn't have even been noticed if not for the aftermath and how quiet it had gotten.

At the end of the three hours, a pair of badly burned, bloodied, and beaten foal nappers returned the four and turned themselves in, swearing to give up crime completely if the Guards just kept those four away from them.

The Crusaders wondered what had happened to their new friends, as Harry and Marv were going to help them get cutie marks in being 'Wet Bandits' whatever that meant.

Spike was less oblivious than the girls about the situation and far more amused at how it turned out.

The exact details of what transpired were a mystery, but for a time the fillys were calling Spike 'Red Chief'.

The day after the foal napping similar strange marks appeared all over town carved over night in nearly everything.

The mark was a Triangle pointed downward with a line through the middle of it. The bottom point of the triangle then had a large circle around it that cut through the middle of the triangle.

Comet Trail had taken one look at them and burst out laughing before telling everyone to leave the marks be, once he caught his breath anyway.

All in all the last few weeks of clean up had been surprisingly peaceful and calm, if noisy with all the construction. Twilight and the girls had gotten together a few times to go out to eat or simply hang out and joke about all the unwanted attention they were getting.

It was nice, calm, and serene. This was how Ponies were supposed to live, without constant tests, the threat of things over their heads, or monsters of the week.

Just living life.

And it was driving Twilight absolutely bonkers.

At the time she had happily told Celestia to stuff it and fully quit being her student. She had then reaffirmed the ultimatum for Luna. Gotten a better way to contact Bleu that didn't involve Celestia. She then bid farewell to Cadence and stormed out.

She had maintained her composure until the group boarded the train back to Ponyville.

By the end of the train ride home she had had six break downs, three shouting matches with herself and any one else who got involved, six hypothetical fights with Celestia, and a really good cry.

Thankfully her brothers and friends had expected as such and simply let her do her thing helping when they could.

She badly wanted to write back to Princess Celestia to apologize to beg to be taken back as her student, though she had written a number of letters, she had only gone as far as to ask Spike to send one. She didn't even fight over it when he refused.

Every pony had issues with being used as a pawn in something, but it was just as bad if you were a rook or bishop, you were still getting played with.

The test,s the bickering, the madness of having royalty pop up unannounced in your home at all hours of the day. While it was nice that it stopped, the constant change and surprise kept her interested, sure she had less time to focus on her own studies, and she never did well when something she was working on was interrupted, but she never was bored. Her friends had their own things to do so she couldn't hang out with them all the time, and the same could be said for her brothers.

Without all the interruptions she had opted to focus her studies on the prophecy and what it might mean.

She had no clue about it aside from the keys she was given. She was half tempted to track down this Zebra Goddess Velkorn and teach her the fine art of percussion questioning until she got a straight answer, but she let it go.

Madness was clearly Discord. He was the start of it. The thing that began the prophecy.

Next was Envy. A painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage.

That alone could hit every noble in Canterlot, and most other gods when they looked at how well Equestria was doing.

Twilight couldn't find anything in any book she had that could link some one or something obviously to that. Be it to an invading army or some upper class noble twit. She had asked Prince to keep an eye out for any of the upper class who might complain a little too much about the Princesses or the Elements.

He in turn had asked for information on Rainbow Dash.

Twilight wasn't sure why, but she supposed it might have to do with his attempts to dissuade the constant proposals every one was getting. Though she had thought Rainbow Dash had stopped getting them already.

Lust.
Every pony always assumed that was about sex, but it wasn't, well not entirely. Lust was more an overwhelming craving or desire. One could say Dragons lusted for gold, or she had lusted for knowledge.

This line of thought could hint at a dragon or a power seeking mage, but Twilight was pretty sure it was going to be another one of Celestia's ex's just from the main definition.

Magic.

This one annoyed her. It didn't fit really. Magic was every where and unlike the other terms it didn't have any sort of negative implication. The thing that worried her was that at the moment the one that represented magic more than anyone else was herself. And maybe Rahs, but that would be more anti magic... but given the odd wording of prophesies it could still be him. Or she could be way off track.

Greed: a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (such as money) than is needed.

Again this one could mean a dragon or a noble. But greed was sort of a catch all in truth any of the others could also fall under this so it was something specific. It could mean little more than some one who wanted everything for themselves, or more, no matter how much they had already.

Pride.

While Twilight doubted this was going to be a group of lions, she wasn't about to write off the possibility. It could also be a showy or impressive group of ponies... perhaps something to do with theater. Rahs should keep an eye out for this one.

The base of it was a reasonable or justifiable feeling of self-respect, but the opposite of that could be true as a non justifiable or irrational amount of self respect. Pride in something done that most would consider wrong. The one who was prideful didn't have to be proud of something that others would be proud of. They could be proud of tricking some one, or wiping out a whole town. Most villains in literature were prideful, granted so were a lot of heroes.

The problem with this thing was that there were so many variables and variations that there was no way to nail down exactly what any of them would be. Heck her friends could cover most of this too in one way or another. Pinkie as madness, Spike or Rarity as greed, Fluttershy, Rarity or Rahs as envy, Dash , Rarity ,or Applejack as pride. All of them had magic, Rarity or Spike as lust given their devotion to their interests. And Twilight could be a lot of these too.

Really though, maybe she should keep a closer eye on Rarity. Just in case.

Any further musings were ended by a shout.

“Twi, Big Macs here...... again.......”

She blinked looking back at the open door before she closed her book and headed inside. She really wished her brothers didn't have to keep trying to play it tough to intimidate her colt friend.

Not like it was working anyway.

She headed down stairs wondering if he was here to grab a bite to eat or not.

Things could only get more exciting and chaotic from here.

She wasn't sure if she was happy about that or not.

Author's Note

For those curious about the title, Litten is a Gen 7 pokemon that's a cat like creature.

As for the rest.... really why would Twi freak out over a report when not only is she flat out not Celestia's student any more, but she's mad at the princess?

And thus, one of the crazier episodes, becomes.... a normal slice of life filler episode. With world building 'splaining, cause i loves me some 'splaning.

basically this is just why ponyville seems bigger in season 2

Kittypox, Prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Kittypox,
Prologue

[Ponyville, three weeks after Discord's defeat]

“How'bout......tha three strikes!” Applebloom exclaimed.

“That makes us sound like we struck out.” Scootaloo points out, not really liking the name any way.

“Errrrrr..... The pin twins!” Applebloom suggested as another name for the group.

“There's more than two of us.”Sweetiebelle corrected with a frown. ”Also none of us even look remotely alike.”

“Ummm, well how bout , tha Bowling Dolls?” Applebloom offered.

“Yeah I'm gonna have to protest that one.” Spike chimed up. “I'm not into the old noir detective books enough to be comfortable with being called 'doll'.”

“But you thought the others were fine?” Scootaloo asked raising an eyebrow at Spike.

“No, not really, but you guys seemed to have it covered.” Spike shrugged shifting his bowling ball to his other claw.”Anyway, lets get your cutie marks, THEN decide on a new name for the group.”

“Right.. well then, lets bowl them over!” Applebloom offered getting flat looks and groans from the other three at the pun.

The fillies picked up their borrowed bowling balls and went inside the building.

[ One hour later]

Spike sat back in on the bench with a sigh holding the mug of coco he was given. A blanket had been draped over his shoulders and a group of Guards were looking at the remains of the bowling ally.

He was sticky, cold, and slightly sore, but the coco was good.

The Cutie mark Crusaders were all bundled under another blanket with their own mugs of coco looking rather ragged, stuck together, and soaked to the bone as they were all being questioned by the local Guards.

It had only been an hour. They hadn't even finished one full game and Spike might never get his ball back from that extra dimensional vortex.

“So let me get this straight.” Comet Trail sighed rubbing his temples with his hooves. He knew this post was going to be bad news and days like this proved it. The only thing that made the headache worth it was the plethora of mares in this town and the lack of other Nox-cal eating all the durains before him. Though with luck the newcomers to town would build something to give this place a more active nightlife. “You four came here to get cutie marks in bowling?”

“They did. I came along to practice for league night.” Spike offered. “ Twilight thinks we can take home the trophy for the Ponyville Librarians this season.”

Comet Trail raised a brow before he shrugged. “Yeah good luck with that Spike the Ponyville Brewers have taken it the last three years. And you'd also have to beat The Guards. We're the only real competition to the Brewers.”

“We beat you guys last year.” Spike smirked as another crash sounded from behind them as something collapsed inside the battered bowling ally.

“On a technicality, Shield Wall's hoof slipped over the line.”

“Rules are rules.” Spike grinned.

“Sir I don't mean to interrupt......” Another guard with the Major interrupted gesturing the the half flooded building that was some how still on fire.

“Right right.... well. I can understand the sprinklers coming on from a lobbed ball smashing one open.” Comet Trail glared at Scootaloo, who had the decency to look at least a little ashamed. “It's the rest of this I don't get. I mean seriously where did the sea otters come from?”

“Probably their mothers. “ Spike snarked getting a glare from the Major.” Kinda surprised you didn't ask about the tree sap, or the lost civilization in the pin retrieval area of lane five. Then there was said war started with the lost civilization in the pin retrieval area of lane five. Of course there was also the fire. And the snack bar running out of oat crisps. I'll take the blame for that last one.”

“He might want to know about the the bowling ball that wound up knocking down a tower in Canterlot.” Sweetiebelle added. “ I mean it knocked down stuff in town too, but that was a really big tower......”

“I thought he was gonna ask why all them ponies is purple.” Applebloom added.”Though we ain't had anything tah do with that.”

“I was certain he was going to ask about where the giant bowling ball filled with bees came from.” Scootaloo offered.” Because I kinda wanna know that myself.”

Comet Trail sighed as he looked at the small group, then back up at the remainder of the bowling ally with a sigh.

“Private Gum Shoe. Just fill out the incident report notes with, 'Cutiemark Crusade'. The insurance companies will take care of the rest.” Comet Trail rubbed his face.

“Umm sir shouldn't we get a little more information?” the white maned guard in full armor next to him asked. “ I didn't get an explanation for any of this except the oat crisp thing.”

“You're new here so I'll tell you this. If something happens involving the CMC or Pinkie Pie... you just don't ask. It's much better for your sanity.” the thestral grumbled, turning to walk away from the four. “And you lot go home, no more crusading today.”

Author's Note

And away we go.

Kittypox

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Kittypox

“.....Alright to recap here......... you say Applebloom wandered into the woods, fell, and chipped her tooth before you found her and then you fixed it?” Comet Trail noted, his bat like wing claw taking notes as he spoke.” With a potion?”

“I hahve a mixture this is true, that will make ah tooth as good as new.” Zecora offered.

Comet Trail nodded and jotted that down.

The two rookie Guards on either side of the Major's desk glanced back and forth between the Zebra and the Nox-Cal. While the Major didn't seem that put off by it, the two rookies were seriously weirded out by the exotic looking zebra's rather rough Baystentionian accent.

Both of the rookie stallions were unicorns, wearing the gold and blue armor of the royal guard with the white fur enchantment prevalent in most of the Cake Hunter branch and both of them had green eyes. Comet Trail had given up trying to tell them apart and simply promoted one to PFC so he could use the ranks armor pips to tell them apart. The only reason they were here now was because they were the last to Guards left at the post aside from Comet Trail.

“Something like that could be a boon to the dental community.” Comet Trail added.

“While it might ahllow ponies to again eat corn off the cob, the dentists of Equestriah would all be out of a job.” Zecora explained and Comet Trail nodded in understanding.

“And after this she asked you to make a potion to give her a cutie mark?” the Major continued.”So then what happened?”

“In the pahst I've worked to teach, herbs ahnd potions that ahre in her reach.” Zecora waved a hoof. “ I left her ahlone for a moment or three, as I needed something I did not have in my tree. Upon my return I took note she hahd gone, and that my front door was now on my lahwn. The interior of my home looked like a tornado blew through, so I figured once more she had made up a brew. While she hahs the tahlent to eventually be great, she has quite a hahrd time with the concept of 'wahit'. ”

“So she's made things before and as I expect detonated something?”

“I keep my important things out of the wahy,” Zecora shrugged. “I already had plahned to remodel some dahy.”

“And after you cleaned up you discovered that she used the Hearts Desire plant?” Comet Trail noted.

“Not only that, but she used the wrong parts, you just use the leahves that look like hearts.”

“Right I can fill in the rest from what Spike and Applejack told us. She found a talent, was showing off and a second cutie mark appeared. And by the time the third appeared last night she couldn't stop doing what was on the marks, plate spinning, tapping, hoop-de whatevering.” Comet Trail looked through his notes.” She was brought to Twilight the librarian diagnosed it as Cutie Pox, then Twilight went and got you thinking you might know something she didn't. Meanwhile Applebloom was running all over town, stuck doing whatever it was that popped up on her flank. Then you show up with a cure …...the..... what was it again?”

“The seeds of truth were the proper cure for Ahpplebloom, but this is Ponyville so of course next cahme doom.” Zecora sighed.

One of the rookies took that moment to look out of the window and out at Ponyville where a great number of ponies were bouncing around, spitting fire, stacking cups gardening, sweeping chimneys yodeling or all manner of other things as the cutie pox ran rampant in town.

“Applejack's going to ground her until she's old enough to drink.” the rookie without pips muttered.

“I don't suppose you have a catch all cure?” Comet Trail asked.

“Sahdly that sort of thing I do not, The seed I hahd was my only shot. While the filly was cured by speahking what was true, I have no idea how Rahs cahught it too.”

“He tried to eat it to cure Applebloom, and Poison Joke does make him a pony.” Comet Trail groaned. “And then that spread to Spike and to Twilight and then to Shining Armor and Canterlot. “

“I'm sure there's a long scientific reason behind it that Twilight will regal us with whenever she can stop playing bagpipes sir.” the Guard with the pips added.

“Thank the stars the Princesses are immune to this thing or I don't even want to think about it.” Comet Trail sighed.

“So ahre zebrah, nox-cal and a few others too. As are Minotahur and elk, and the race that goes moo.”

“And we have three more days of this from the time patient zero came into town before the pox runs it's course.” Comet Trail rubbed his temples.”What was her black list count up to?”

“Probably a year or more sir.” one of the Guards answered. “ We couldn't ask Pinkie Pie as she can't stop whistling Dixie.”

Author's Note

Alright and that was it. As i said a few times in the past if the chapter doesn't have a prominent feature of one of the sparkles i'm gonna scene cut , or short change it.

The episode was nearly completely focused on Applebloom so even with Spike being part of the CMC not much would have changed since this was a Bloomisode.

Now i know everyones expecting a Nightmare night episode to show up. But i don't have one this year. Currently TGaP S2 is in the Summer arc and Luna Eclipsed is in fall . I might rush through the next four episodes pretty quick , but not 6 days quick.

As always i promote my Discord Channel https://discord.gg/NTWQSW.

i rant rave answer questions and sometimes post spoilers for my fics there.

I also scream 'NEW CHAPTER IS LIVE' quite often.

Mic isn't required as i use it like a chat room.

Sphinx and elite

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Sphinx and elite

[ Canterlot]

“They're trying to butter us up.”

“Oh I know, they couldn't be more obvious about it.”Twilight groaned.

The table before the small group was laden in presents to the point it creaked under the weight. Though four gifts in particular stood out.

The massive wall wrapped gifts were covered in expensive paper and shiny ribbon. Two of them were pure white with gold ribbon and two with bluish purple and silver ribbon. The four stood out from the other gifts in both size and attention to detail, something that only Pinkie and Rarity's gifts came close to.

Rahs rolled his eyes as he looked back at the others in the ball room. Pinkie Pie had convinced, bothered, and bribed, Twilight to let her host Rahs and Twilight's birthday party this year. Rahs didn't really care and Twilight got tired of fighting it.

There was a bit of tension after they found out that Rarity couldn't make it back to town due to Opal getting sick on her trip to Canterlot. But that was quickly cleared up.

It was Fluttershy who convinced Twilight to take the party to Canterlot. Twilight agreed, she had asked Cadence to help Rarity out with a room in Canterlot while she was working, so asking her soon to be sister in law about reserving a small ballroom for the party wasn't difficult. She did hope that Shining would propose soon however, she expected to get a letter about it any day now.

The new location had the added benefit of Shining and Cadence also joining the party, as they didn't have to take too much time away from their duties to make it. The pair of them had invited Moon Dancer and her colt friend as well.

Lyra and Bon Bon came along with Twilight's group, though most of the other members of Twilight's school group were either in another part of Equestria and just sent cards or gifts, or were working too hard like Minuette. Though the dentist did say she'd try to stop by after the triple root canal she had to deal with.

The Ponyville crew had the usual suspects of the mane five and Spike. Rahs and Twilight were a given since it was their birthday, and the only other addition was Big Mac. Twilight was a little freaked out at the unexpected size of the gathering, but between Rahs and Mac she remained calm....... Ish.

The CMC however were not here. Applebloom was still grounded, Scootaloo was visiting her parents, and Sweetiebelle had been drug off by her parents to some sort of beach get away.

The birthday pair's mother and father had come by to see them when they first got there, but had left soon after her father had lost a silent stare down with Big Mac and mom had run out of embarrassing questions to ask Rahs about all the females who had gotten him gifts.

It was true that Rahs' pile had edged hers out this year, not that Twilight had counted while having flashbacks to a party years ago when the same thing happened. He had a number of gifts from some mare named Saturnia, a couple from the Ponyville Guards for his help with some of the monster bounties, quite a few from Jynx, and a fairly large one from Trixie, a gift that Rahs was reluctant to open because he could smell gunpowder in it.

Spike and Rainbow Dash had already started betting on whether Trixie herself was in that present.
Of course this was done out of Twilight and Rahs' hearing as not to ruin the larger bet between most of the weather team and Spike as to when Rahs would realize Trixie had a thing for him.

Of course then there was the pile from every one else who showed up too. The page colt who carried it all in nearly died before getting it all on the table.

Aside from a few games and some music, the main entertainment of the party was watching Rarity run back and forth from the Sparkle's party to a nobles garden party outside while trying to pretend she had never left to both of them.

Honestly she wasn't fooling any pony about why she kept running off to mingle with the elite, but Twilight was fine with that. She fully expected that was where the sick cat thing came from and she was sorta enjoying watching Rarity wear herself out trying to be in two places at once.

She wasn't trying to be cruel, but she wasn't going to give Rarity a free pass for lying to her as she tired to keep up her appearances. It wasn't as if the nobles cared about anything beyond their own little worlds. It also wasn't as if they already didn't know she was friends with a dirt farmer, a hoarder, a maniac, a braggart, a mentally unstable former student of Celestia, and her mangy mutt.

Twilight had not been happy with that newspaper article.

It had six spelling errors in the first two sentences, the strongly worded letter she had asked Rainbow Dash to deliver to the editor took up three pages with just the intro before getting into the corrections.

It was well known Rarity was a Bearer, though perhaps she hadn't introduced herself as such.

In either case Twilight had a party to try and enjoy.

“Hey Sparkles!” a voice called, causing Rahs and Twilight to turn away from the glittering mountain to see who called.

A cream colored unicorn with a mulberry colored mane and tail streaked with violet and lavender trotted up to the pair. Her mane was a bit frazzled though it was pulled back in a loose bun on top of her head in an attempt to tame it though she clearly wasn't a mare too concerned with her looks. Her dark purple eyes were hidden behind a large pair of light blue, square lens glasses.

Next to her was a orange unicorn stallion with a red mane, white fetlocks and a white stripe along the bridge of his nose. He wore a dark blue cape trimmed in light blue and covered in stars of the same color. It also appeared he was trying to grow a beard, though the scraggly hair dangling from his chin reminded Twilight a bit to much of Discord's facial hair. He too wore light blue framed glasses though his were round rather than square and were propped in front of blue eyes rather than purple.

“Moon Dancer. Nice to see you again.” Twilight smiled looking over her friend then over to the stallion next to her. “ So who's this? That mysterious colt friend that caused you to create an alicorn repellent spell?”

Both of the ponies before Twilight turned a bit red at the memory, though Moon Dancer recovered quicker than the stallion.” This is Sun Burst. He joined Celestia's school a year after us, he's an absolute genius when it comes to spell theory and creation.”

“The execution is something I have a harder time with.” Sun Burst admitted.

“Rather curious how you two managed to meet.” Twilight questioned.

“We literally ran into each other.” Sun Burst offered pantomiming the pairs meeting by smacking his two fore hooves together. “ There needs to be a disclaimer about reading and walking.”

Moon Dancer grinned. ”Any way Sun Burst, this is Twilight Sparkle and her brother Rahs. He's a Moon Dog.”

“Oh one of those things from...ooof!!” Sun Burst began before getting elbowed in the ribs by Moon Dancer.

“X-neigh on that-ay.”Moon Dancer muttered.” So I've heard I'm not the only one no longer single hmm?”

“Of course Lyra and Bon Bon are right over there.” Twilight tried to misdirect not sure what had happened with the exchange. ”Granted they've been together longer than any pony else......”

“You know I'm not talking about those two Twilight... So who was it who managed to catch the top student's eye hmmm? Bet it's either a librarian or a barista. I fully expected you'd sleep walk into a relationship with some one who makes coffee.”

Rahs chuckled at that looking around before waving someone over with a paw as he shook his head. He quickly slapped another paw on his sisters back to keep her from running as he noticed how embarrassed she was getting.

There was a heavy thudding on the floor as the massive red stallion with a short cropped wheat colored mane and tail trotted up next to Twilight. He paused looking down at her before offering her a cup of cider.

Both Moon Dancer and Sun Burst stared up at the massive earth pony, then down at Twilight and her nearly glowing red face, then back to the massive earth pony.

Rahs had fallen over laughing at this point. His sister could talk some crap about relationships but when it came to ponies bringing up hers.....

“Woof.” Moon Dancer finally uttered.

“Oh It's eleven o clock on the dot. “ Pinkie Pie answered Moon Dancer as she popped up from the pile of presents on the table. “ Though why you want to know the time in Canburro I have no idea.”

“What?” Moon Dancer questioned as Pinkie Pie dove back into the pile and then was some how on the other side of the room offering a cup of punch to Fluttershy. ”What!?”

“Just don't ask..... trust me I've tried the scientific method for figuring her out and the machine just goes 'PING'.” Twilight sighed.

“Oh.. I love that machine.” Star Burst muttered.” Though my job bought one then sold it to another company, then they leased it back from the company they sold it to, that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.”

“Any way..” Twilight stated trying to regain control of the situation, which was not easy with Rahs losing it. “ Moon Dancer, Sun Burst, this is Big Mac. My special some pony.....”

“Eeeyup.” Mac agreed as he looked down at Rahs wondering what was so funny.

[later]

Prince Blueblood blinked as he looked up at the large red stallion, then down at the orange unicorn next to him. This perhaps could have gone better, he was unsure of how he got into this conversation and was desperately trying to find a way out of it.

“So.... you dated both Moon Dancer and Twilight, is this correct.” Sun Burst asked, his tone bordering on angry. The large Earth Pony said nothing.

“If you wish to count one date each as dated, then yes. In both cases it was decided that we were a bit too different for it to work.” Prince Blue Blood sighed. “And you can blame my cousin Cadence for all of them. As soon as she found out that Twilight and I were not going to work, she set me up with Moon Dancer, then Lyra, then the rest of the School of Gifted Ponies. It was a rather hectic week......”

Sun Burst had heard bad things around Canterlot about Prince Blueblood ,which made him rather leery of the stallion.

Big Mac had heard favorable things about the stallion from Twilight, which made him rather leery of the stallion.

Prince had two ponies before him, one of whom looked like a skilled mage, and the other who looked like he bench pressed buildings for fun glaring at him, so he was rather leery of both.

His plan had been to drop off the gifts, wish Rahs and Twilight a happy birthday and then slip out before the press tried to make this visit out to be more than it was.......

And maybe have a talk with the rainbow maned pegasus, though he didn't see her anywhere at the moment.

Rainbow Dash had slipped out to prank Rarity and the nobles in the garden next door, though she tended to follow Rarity back in, and Prince had chosen the moment Rarity slipped out for his run in. He didn't want a repeat of her trying to kill him with cake like at the gala.

“Perhaps I should go then....... it was nice meeting you two.” Prince nodded.

“Eeeyup.”

[later still]

“........ So because of the connection the magical nature of the cutie pox transferred from Rahs to us.” Twilight explained.” And once it came to us through the link, Shining and I became the new patient zeros when the virus started up again our systems later in the day.”

“A virus shouldn't act like that.” Moon Dancer pointed out.

“It really wasn't a virus, the first case of the cutie pox was a magical infection that spread through contact. This case was just one magical plant going a bit overboard and corrupting a desire. It only became communicable once it interacted with the chaos magic clinging to our link. That's also how Spike and Rahs got it, though it didn't spread from either of them oddly.”

“I see.” Moon Dancer considered. “Do you mind if I bring Sun Burst into our study, he might have some insight we missed.”

“Sure go ahead, but I think we have it all figured out. Princess Luna designed Rahs' race and my surge pulled him from where he was supposed to be. Why the link formed has something to do with the power I used to yank him out of there. Evidently Rahs' connection to myself and Shinning was joined to Spike when he showed up and is a natural connection with Moon Dogs, just his was strengthened greatly when he was pulled out of the Oneiroi.”

“Convoluted and ridiculous...... I can totally see it happening.” Moon dancer sighed. “Are you still mad at the Princesses? Luna's been whining to me about it for a while now.”

“More at Princess Celestia than Princess Luna. Other way around for Rahs. He's mad she's still holding information about Witch Wolves from us. What ever Discord did to him pissed him off something fierce.” Twilight explained. “As for me, despite Discord needing to be dealt with Princess Celestia did manipulate us into doing it again, plus that whole stupid ceremony and everything that came after shows her hoof work.”

“Princess Chess master strikes again huh?” Moon Dancer nods. “ I figure after all the times it's blown up in her face lately she'd be able to get out of the habit of playing games.”

“Seems not.....”Twilight sighed looking over at Sun Burst and Big Mac who were talking off to the side. Her brothers were both chatting with Fluttershy and Applejack and the rest of the party goers seemed content with the food or each other. Who would have thought that barely a year ago the idea of this many ponies at her birthday would have caused her to break down and hide.

“Wonder what those two are talking about.” Moon Dancer questioned looking at Big Mac and Sun Burst.

“Ehh, guy stuff I guess, probably not anything interesting.” Twilight shrugged.

Sun Burst stroked his beard with a hoof as he pondered what had just been suggested by Big Mac.

“I see. It never occurred to me to consider that space and Equss were both moving as well. So that's oneself, the planet, the galaxy and space itself one needs to take into account.” Sun Burst stated. “ Fascinating.”

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac agreed.

[later even stiller ]

“The janitor is going to kill us.” Spike chuckled, looking at the huge mess of wrapping paper and ribbons flung everywhere after Rahs and Twilight dug into their presents.

Those who knew Twilight and Rahs watched on in amusement at their antics, those who did not stared in confusion at the massive book fort that had been constructed, and then inhabited by Twilight. What ever pile of books Celestia had given Twilight had caused the book worm to build the fort and vanish into it almost immediately.

Big Mac had tried to get her to come out and stay with the party, though the large stallion now found himself being used as a pillow after getting dragged inside the fort as well.

Rahs however had barely opened half his presents and was responsible for most of the mess.

Too many shiny ribbons and boxes evidently overloaded the feline part of his mind and he was currently hiding in one of the larger boxes swatting at a ribbon Fluttershy was swishing about.

Granted Pinkie Pie was also hiding in one of the boxes too shuffling around like a turtle and rustling the paper laying about enough to make Rahs even crazier.

Spike was taking pictures and laughing himself into hiccoughs.

Rarity was running herself into exhaustion as no one had yet to tell her they noticed her bouncing back and for the all night.

Rainbow Dash had driven off a large portion of the nobles with pranks, but was currently sulking because her main target, Fancy Pants, had managed to avoid or redirect everything she had tried to prank him with.

Most of the others were still talking or having one of the multitude of cakes presented. Twilight's cake was a massive chocolate one Pinkie had whipped up, though Rahs' was almost as big and confused many of the guests why there was a sign warning ponies away.

Pinkie had made that one too. And nearly everything in it was gummies, apples, cheese, or some sort of meat she had gotten from a stuffy griffon chef in the castle whipped into a fondue like pudding, that smelled awful before being baked.

Rainbow Dash had tried a bite of it and nearly lost her lunch.

Rahs had eaten half of it already before getting distracted by shinies.

With the problems with both Discord and the Cutie Pox it was rather nice to have something normal going on. Particularly with how serious Rahs and Twilight had been lately. To see them enjoying themselves was a nice change of pace.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both glanced at each other before moving away from the window they had been peering into and heading back to the court with not a word to anyone at the party.

They both had things to think about in regards to the Sparkles. They both knew they should take this as an opportunity to distance themselves from the family. As long as they lived it never did well to get too attached to a mortal.

But in this case neither of them really considered doing that.

[Later that night, Canterlot]

“It was rather nice to see Twily enjoying herself at a party again.” Shining Armor offered before starting to brush his teeth.

“I know. She's come a long way when it comes to her birthday parties, with that many ponies there I expected her to be hiding under the table or something.” Cadence offered. “I guess between Rahs and Big Mac she had plenty of support to deal with it.”

“ Murrphmlp” Shining muttered scrubbing his teeth.

“I'm rather proud of you too. You didn't even try any of that over protective big brother nonsense on Big Mac.” Cadence stated flopping down on the bed.

Shining took a moment to clear his mouth.” Why would I do something like that to Applejack's brother?”

Cadence blinked looking over at him in a bit of confusion.” Because he's Twilight's colt friend.”

Cadence was witness to Shining Armor suddenly freezing in place, his tooth brush dangling out of his mouth a moment before it fell into the sink with a clack as his brain finally caught up to him.

“DAMN IT!”

“Still not gonna be an alibi for you to skip work.”

“Double damn it.”

Author's Note

And yet again a one shot. Cause lets face it Sweet and Elite was a Rarity-sode. the only bit that would have been fun was the party.

and thus party.

The Mysterious Manx-do-well [20]

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Mysterious Manx-do-well

[Ponyville Summer]

Rahs stared at the mares before him one eyebrow raised with his ears flat to his head. The others didn't notice as the five of them continued to plot out the shenanigans.

“Woof.” Rahs stated simply.

“Because her egos gotten out of control that's why.” Twilight huffed as Rarity worked to fit her for the costume.

“Seriously her head swelled up like a balloon in there. “Pinkie Pie added.” And trust me I know balloons.”

Rahs raised an eyebrow at that before looking at Fluttershy who was helping to fit Pinkie.

“Bark!”

“Well she did save that foal.... and the other foal. And the old ponies.......” Fluttershy admitted. “ But don't you think she might have taken it a bit too far?”

“She was talking like she was some kinda superhero or somethin.” Applejack muttered.

“Such boasting, just because she saved some ponies does not make her better than he rest of us.” Rarity stated not noticing the glare Rahs was giving her as that was almost her exact comment when it came to Trixie.

The Moon Dog slapped both his paws to his face with a growl before he looked at Twilight, trying one last time to get them to stop this.

“WOOF!”

“Wrong? How can this go wrong?” Twilight questioned, not looking up from the intricate plans and checklists before her she had jumped head first into this with great gusto. “The tracking spell won't be detected and I can teleport us in and out as need be to get there before Rainbow Dash does. Showing her what a real super hero can do will prove that she's not the only one who can be a hero and she needs to reign it in.”

Rahs blinked staring at his sister. She was far too interested in her plots and plans for this to think of what would happen after.

“BORK!” Rahs shouted throwing his paws in the air and turned to storm out.

Pinkie Pie blinked looking over at Rahs as he slammed the door shut behind him.” Isn't that a quote from that pirate play?”

“What did he say?” Rarity asked.

“On your fool heads it be.” Twilight quoted her brother. “He's being dramatic as usual, this plan is perfect.”

[Later]

Rainbow Dash winced as she lifted herself out of the wreckage of the balloon. She had nearly gotten herself killed as that purple figure lept in front of her, forcing her to swerve from catching the basket.

Her eyes narrowed at the odd looking pony dressed in a garish purple cap and a dark blue cloak. The figure was fully covered and it was impossible to tell if they were a pegasus , earth pony or unicorn. Heck it could have been a zebra for all Dash knew. It was pretty obvious that it was a mare, cause the suit was rather tight.

She watched as the figure ran off after shaking the hoof of the mare she rescued, the purple figure vanishing behind some houses.

Dash watched her go with a frown. It was great the mare from the balloon was safe and all, but listening to the ponies that moments ago had been asking for her autograph suddenly start talking about how awesome the new comer was, hurt.

She was going to be a Wonderbolt, she was supposed to be getting used to the fame, but here was another pony, not a week past her saving the foal from the well, and she was already drawing more attention than she was?

She looked back at the crowd spotting Twilight and the Mayor who was declaring the pony as the town's new hero. The crowd was going along with it..... and here she was sitting under a crashed balloon without any one even checking on her to make sure she wasn't dead.

“Woof?” Rahs asked lifting up the canvas balloon looking down at Dash under it curiously.

“Huh what? Oh ….. yeah I 'm fine.... I think that's what you asked any way.” Rainbow Dash muttered sitting down and glaring at the crowd.” Thanks... I don't suppose you know who that was do you?”

Rahs growled but that didn't help Dash understand any better.

“I guess not.” Rainbow Dash sighed her ears perking up at the Mayor's speech and name for the newcomer.

“The Mysterious Mare-do-well huh?”Dash repeated. “ Well that mare would do well to stay out of my way.... Ponyville's got room for one hero and that's me!”

Rahs looked down at the pegasus slapping his forehead with a paw dropping the tattered canvas back over the blue pegasus before he walked off grumbling.

Rainbow Dash was turning this into a hero competition, just as Applejack had said she would. Twilight had planned for that.

While he was enjoying the theatrics going on, it was for the wrong purposes. And due to a promise he was forced to make to Twilight, he couldn't tell Rainbow Dash directly about what was going on.

Someone was going to get hurt because of this plan.

Author's Note

i already have a bit of issue with this particular episode.

Humor might be light, and i feel i'm being a bit preachy.

The again you all might like this train wreck. Seems to happen when i worry about a chapter.

Not like i could make the episode any worse.

The Mysterious Manx-Do-Well, Part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Mysterious Manx-Do-Well,
Part 2

[ Back lots of Ponyville]

“......P Pinkie!??!” Rainbow Dash gasped staring down at the de-masked Mare-Do -Well.” Wha huh!?”

Looking up at the sound of a swishing cape, Rainbow Dash spotted another Mare-Do Well approaching, this one stopped and pulled up her hood revealing a lavender unicorn beneath.

“TWILIGHT!?!” Dash stammered. Before the pegasus could recover however another Mare-do well walked around from an adjoining ally, pulling back her mask showing an orange farm pony.

“APPLEJACK!?” Rainbow Dash demanded her eyes wide. “There were three of you?”

“Yep, we all played Mare-do-Well at different times.” Twilight bragged, taking off her costume.

“Ah stopped tha carriage.” Applejack smirked, putting on her usual hat and setting the mask and hat in a pile.

“I save the construction workers with my Pinkie sense. “Pinkie Pie beamed.” And I now know if my left nostril has a sneezy twitch some pony's gonna angrily tackle me..... either that or it's allergies.”

“And I used my magic to fix the damn.” Twilight added showing off by floating her hat around.

“Ooh, OOOh, “Fluttershy zipped in. “And I did the fly by afterwards.”

“And I made the costumes of course. Fabulous if I do say so myself.” Rarity crowed as she strode up.

Dash looked at them all, her ears flat to her head. Rahs was even there standing behind the others leaning against the wall of a building looking annoyed about something.

“I don't understand.... why?”Dash demanded.” Why try and stop me from being a hero?”

“Of course we want you to be a hero........” Twilight stated.

“But a real hero doesn't brag...” Applejack continued.

Rainbow Dash was silent for a moment. Slowly blinking in confusion as she regarded her actions. She had to admit she let it go to her head more than a little at times. Still she was silent until the truth of what had happened finally sunk in.

There was a loud audible snap that echoed down the back street.

“YOU PLUCKING ASSHOLES!” Rainbow Dash shrieked, her ears flattened to her head as she ground her teeth together.

“What?” Twilight stammered.

“You went through all that! Nearly killed me three times ,by cutting me off while I was flying or not stepping in sooner to help, because you wanted to teach me a lesson!?!? AND THEN YOU BRAG ABOUT THE PARTS YOU PLAYED,THEN TURN AROUND AND SAID I BRAGGED TO MUCH!?”

Dash was nearly frothing at the mouth at this point.

“Of all the two faced, dog shit, things... WHO BUCKING CARES IF I WAS BRAGGING. I WAS STILL SAVEING PONIES!” Rainbow Dash screamed. “ I saved the filly in the well, I saved the old ponies from falling, and I save the foal in the carriage. I saved Rahs and the Wonderbolts from falling to their deaths. I went out there to save Rahs when he was dog napped. I took part in saving Equestria not once, but twice from Nightmare Moon and Discord. I helped with the parasprite attack and all the other monster of the week bullshit. For what!? NOTHING!”

The five mares glanced to each other then back at Rainbow Dash who was working up a new head of steam.

“I finally start to get a little praise, some ponies, most of who were fans of me already, start cheering me on after I do some good over the course of a week and what happened? You all try to drag me back down.” Rainbow Dash fumed.” BUCK! Applejack makes a herd of cows turn to the left a little and she gets a trophy and a celebration. What do I get for what I did, a big fat nothing until Princess Celestia gave us that ceremony. So I got a big head for FINALLY getting recognized for something I did and what happens? You decide it's too much and rather than say anything about it, or actually come talk to me you come up with this crap, then set out, to not only steal my thunder, but make me look worse by egging me on into some sort of hero contest!?”

“We were trying to take yah down a peg a fore yah got too wrapped up and got some one hurt.....” Applejack started.

“SHUT UP! You shut the Tartarus up Applejack. After that shit you pulled with you ego during apple buck season, you of all ponies don't have a hoof to stand on. Plus if that was the only thing you were trying to do then you wouldn't have bragged about how awesome and skilled Mare-Do-Well was at that party, when you knew I was already having issues with it.” Dash snapped, tears welling in her eyes. “ You've seen how freaked out I get over my image in the past and here you were ignoring that and driving it into the dirt just so you could smugly claim to be helping me when this all came to a head?!? Well news flash, it took FOUR of you to be better than me!”

Rahs blinked, watching this all go on. His ears perked, as he hadn't quite expected this level of explosion, Dash must have been bottling this up for a while, either that or this triggered her. Still he was ready to get involved if Dash attacked any of them. They were stupid , but he didn't want to see them hurt.

“You know what?! Buck all of you! I don't need to be around ponies who back stab me in the back claiming trying to teach me a lesson I don't even bucking need!” Rainbow Dash slid her hoof up into the fur around her neck giving a sharp tug as she pulled something off, the chain falling loose before she even pulled, clearly broken already. With a quick flick of her leg, Twilight was slapped in the face by something small and metal and forced back a step as the object bounced to the ground.

Rainbow Dash offered a last growl and glare at the lot of them before shooting off into the air leaving a puff of dust and ripping holes through several clouds above them as she tore through the sky.

Twilight and the others stared after the retreating form of their friend. The purple unicorn's gaze dropped down to what she had been hit with, taking note of the golden necklace with the broken chain laying in the dirt before her. A necklace that held the Element of Loyalty, the gem in it gray and lifeless as it lay in the soil.

“Well don't that beat all. I didn't figure she'd get this mad.” Applejack muttered.

“I honestly thought she was going to take a swing at you there.” Rarity glanced to Applejack.

Pinkie Pie simply sat off to the side a sad look on her face with her hair deflated and Fluttershy whimpering behind her.

“What.... what happened?” Twilight stammered. “It shouldn't have gone like this....”

“Congratulations purple Celestia, your super complex plan backfired spectacularly and drove off some pony close to you, sounds pretty familiar actually....”

The five of them froze and turned to look back as Rahs pushed off the wall behind them glowering down at them with a mix of anger and disappointment on his face.

Applejack blinked about to say something though a sharp glare from the amber eyed Sparkle sibling shut her up, the Moon Dog clearly wasn't done being pissed off.

“..... I warned you about this. I told you it was a stupid plan. Hey here's an idea for deflating an ego, lets make her look like a fool. That will go over real well.............” Rahs continued, those who didn't understand Moon Dog were greatly surprised, as this was the most they had ever heard Rahs speak Equestrian. “I promised you that I would let you deal with this Twi because she was more your friend than mine, Element's of Harmony and all that, I should have ignored the promise and stopped this. That was my mistake in this cess pit of a plan.......”

Rahs walked between the group gathering up the Mare-Do-Well costumes with a low growl as he continued the rant. “She was right, she is a hero, she saved a number of lives before you started this nonsense, and your show boating led to more ponies being in danger than they should have been with just her bragging...”

Rahs leaned down glaring in his sister's face.

“How does it feel to tell some one else 'this is for your own good'?” Rahs snarled as Twilight winced. Once he had all the costume parts not being worn gathered up he reached down picking up the Element of Loyalty, tucking it into a pocket before walking away from the group.

“Not only does Equestria not have the Element's of Harmony for protection any more thanks to this, but you've set up a super hero that has a lot of fans who are going to be crushed when they find out their new favorite hero was a joke. Including Spike, Applebloom, Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo and a whole bunch of other fillies and colts in town and every where else that heard about Mare-Do-Well this week. So for my part in this mess, I'm going to fix that part. As for you five.”Rahs pointed into the air where Dash had vanished. “I hope you know what to do.”

“Rahs wait a moment.....” Twilight asked as Rahs walked past them.

“Bork!” Rahs snapped continuing to walk off, the three who could understand him all winced at the bite in his tone with that last bark.

[ That night, Golden Oaks Library.]

Twilight stared at the door, Rahs had yet to come back. She didn't expect him to, he had gone to Canterlot, likely to hang out at the Celestial theater. He had a habit of doing that when the pair of them fought seriously and he didn't want to deal with her.

She had a few choice words for her brother, but the more she thought about it the more her temper died out.

He was right of course. But he didn't have to go off like that on every pony...... oh wait... that was a big dramatic rant, of course he had to go off like that.

Twilight sighed, no one had seen Rainbow Dash either, she had moved her cloud home even higher into the air away from the ground so it was lost in the collection of larger clouds in the sky.

Spike was still pretty much clueless as to what was going on, though Twilight heard him and the Crusaders talking about Mare-do-Well with a number of their classmates before they went home.

Rainbow Dash had been brushed aside by Mare-Do-Well simply due to the fact she was a known local. Mare-Do-Well was a mysterious heroic figure, closer to their super hero comics than Rainbow Dash had been. So the mystery and excitement over a costumed hero was going to be slow to die down.

The worst part of it was Rahs was right to try and talk her out of it, she had done all this just for a 'for your own good' speech that backfired as badly on Rainbow Dash as it would have if some one used it on her. Rahs' last shout at her calling her a hypocrite was pretty spot on.

Twilight pulled out a bit of paper and a quill looking down at it with a sigh. Was this how her mother felt after that one birthday? It was that long ago and it was still having an effect on her life and how she viewed her parents.

How long was Rainbow Dash going to be mad at them?

She couldn't talk to Rainbow Dash at the moment, the mare wanted nothing to do with any of them and likely wouldn't for a while.

Still Twilight had a letter to write to some one else who probably knew how she felt right now.

“Dear Princess Celestia..... I screwed up.....” Twilight muttered as she wrote.

Author's Note

I still feel this was a bit preachy on my end, but rewatching the episode and knowing what was going on fully the other five actually pissed me off a bit.

This also marks the longest pony Dialect monologue that Rahs has used since the very begining of this fic.

It also reminded me that Dash has rushed off to save Rahs at least three times so far, with him returning the favor only once in the first chapters. she's also rushed off to save any one who needs it. Ego aside and as much as i'm not a Dash fan, she is the most likely to be a super hero out of the lot of them int he earlier chapters.

Now Dash did go over board with her bragging and ego in this episode, i'm not even going to try and deny that, but the reaction to that that the others took was ludicrous. And TGaP Dash realized that and lost it and she lost it hard enough that the Bearer's no longer have a loyalty.

Why should one be loyal to those who treated them as such for no determinable reason?

Will this be fixed by the time the Element's need to be used again? Will there be another Bearer? Will Ponyville survive? What's Rahs doing with the costumes? will i stop talking like the announcer from Batman'66?

The answer to the last one is certainly no.

Tune in next time, same pony time, same pony channel.

It crosses your path. Nightmare Night Bonus Episode.

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

It crosses your path,
Nightmare Night Bonus Episode.

[ Canterlot, 6 years left until the return of Nightmare Moon]

“….... and at the end there was no way X equaled 7 ¾. Woooooooooooo!” Twilight concluded.

Spike, Rahs, Cadence, and Shining Armor all blinked nearly in unison as Twilight finished her ghost story about imaginary numbers in math. The group staring at her uncomprehendingly finally made the purple filly let out a huff of annoyance.

“Well if you studied higher mathematics, that story is downright terrifying.” Twilight protested.

A crack of thunder made the group wince as they all looked to the window to the pouring rain outside beating down on the glass.

“I can't believe Princess Celestia canceled Nightmare Night.” Spike pouted.

“She didn't cancel it Spike, it fell on the middle of the week this year and it's a school day. All the festivities have been moved to Friday.” Cadence explained again with the air of some pony who has explained this fifty times already and still had the question asked.

“That's not Nightmare Night. That's November. The most boring month of the year, nothing happens in November. “ Spike protested.

“Not true. November has , Saddle Hawkins Day, King Tut Day. Lets see, there's Gull Fawkes Day, though why any one want's to celebrate a Griffon that tried to kill a bunch of other griffons so he could try and get his favored religious and political beliefs back in charge, is beyond me.” Twilight added. “There's also National Square Dance Day, Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day, and World Toilet Day.”

“None of that sounds remotely interesting.” Spike grumbled.

“Woof.” Rahs added.

“Yeah, I guess Black Friday's kinda fun, all the holiday toy catalogs come out.” Spike grinned.

“Exactly. It's far less boring than February.” Twilight ranted." There is nothing worth anything in that month."

“Hey now.” Cadence protested at the slight the filly leveled against her favorite holiday of the year, Hearts and Hooves Day.

"Calm down Cady I'm sure she'll understand the importance of discount candy day on February 15th soon enough." Shining grinned, only to get hit in the face with a pillow as Cadence glared at him.

The group of them were spread out on pillows in a dark room with only a lamp in between them. Long shadows were cast on the walls as they had opted to pass their time with horror stories before it was time for Twilight, Rahs, and Spike to go to bed.

Granted the first one attempted hadn't been scary at all to any one other than Twilight.

“Okay does any one else have a story?” Shining Armor asked rolling his eyes.

“I've got one.” Spike chimed.

“Spike if this is a sequel to 'The dark Cave of Darkness' that you told us when we went camping in the summer, keep in mind the only one that scared was you. And you kept having nightmares about it all weekend.” Shining Armor smirked.

“I don't got one.” Spike corrected.

“Fine my turn then.” Shining chuckled. “It's a short one though.”

Shining Armor cleared his throat. “ The last pony alive on Equss sat back in his chair reading. Then there was a knock on his door.”

There was a pause as every one looked at him.

“Well go on.” Cadence urged.

“What do you mean go on. That was it.” Shining Armor offered.

“ So what a griffon knocked on the door?”

“What no, I said he was the last pony alive on Equss.” Shining responded.

“A griffon's not a pony, neither are burros, Moon Dogs, or zebra.” Twilight pointed out.

“Or Dragons. Kinda sucks there's only one pony left though... did the others go to the moon?” Spike considered.

“Whaaa what... arggggh....” Shining Armor grumbled burying his head in his hooves.

“I may have one.” Cadence smiled.

“Oh really? If it scares me too bad will you help me get sleep?” Shining Muttered with a small grin.

Cadence stuck her tongue out at him and looked back to the others who still didn't quite get the flirting.

“Well I've been reading a lot of my aunts old books here and there and I found this tale.” Cadence offered.

“Have you ever trotted into a room and found a vampire? No, I don't mean the sexy kind from some of those books Rahs reads and pretends he doesn't, but a foul creature with black carapace, limbs dotted with hole filled limbs and bug like eyes? The sort that snarls as you enter, freezing you in place with a hypnotic flicker of power and dancing green flame? Leaving you frozen in the moment as it slinks closer to you tracing it's tongue along your neck as if seeming to be ready to sink it's fangs into a vein and draw out your life's blood? Only to find it's not blood it seeks but something else, something you wouldn't even know you were missing as it feeds. Have you felt the sicking dread as the magic's of the thing warp your mind, adjusting your very memory?” Cadence let out a small huff of breath.” perhaps I should ask that another way... have you ever trotted into a room and forgotten why you came in?”

The small group stared at the pink foal sitter blinking slowly at the mare.

“What?” Cadence asked.

“That was may more creepy than scary.” Spike stated.

“Bark.” Rahs added.

“Yeah what he said , it sounds almost like you experienced this personally.” Twilight considered.

“Such a horribly scary story, can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Shining Armor smirked only for Cadence to hit him in the face with a pillow.

“Woof!” Rahs said excitedly.

“Really you know something?” Spike asked.

Rahs grinned grabbing up the lantern holding the glowing thing under his chin, his long ears giving his shadow a malevolent look on the wall behind him.

“Bark... grrrr... yipe... . Howl … grrr....” There was a dramatic pause. “ WOOF!” He cried out the last.

Twilight and Spike both shrieked and dove under their blankets as Rahs cackled menacingly.

“Oookay and with that... it's time for bed.” Cadence frowned... “Come on, go brush your teeth, lets go....”

"That wasn't a no." Shining Armor called out.

Cadence sighed ushering the trio up and into the bathroom.

Author's Note

Yes i know i made a blog post saying i wasn't doing one. Then i read a story posted a while back by IPostAtMidnight on one of those short horror story sites and i came up with this idea.

Cady's story borrowed heavily from IPostAtMidnight's story plot with a pony twist added.

The joke of the title is of course that the chapter name is Black Cat.

It's About Tiger

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

It's About Tiger

[ Canterlot three days after the disappearance of Mare-Do-Well, 3am ]

“ We are still leery of this plan, there are many things that can go wrong with it. And that's not even taking into account the fit Tia would have if she found out about it.” Luna sighed shifting back in her throne.

The box open before her was being examined by two of her Night Guards. Another one was scanning a news paper with the headline ' Local Hero missing after award ceremony.' The others were around the throne room itself and she was quite certain they had been listening.

Princess Luna's attention however was on the one who came to her Night Court. Her minotaur bailiff Bull was watching him warily, though Luna wasn't worried. He could have come to see her any time and hadn't needed to schedule a court session. That he did either spoke volumes of her current standing in his eyes, or that he knew she was going to be bored on a Tuesday night. Nothing ever happened in Canterlot on Tuesdays.

Fridays were nightmares though, and Luna knew nightmares well enough to make that statement honestly.

“That said, the plan is intriguing and would allow actions that could not normally be taken...... And with our Guard also knowing about it makes hiding it from Tia and those who would have issue much easier. “ Luna smiled.” And of course we do not wish to disappoint the foals, let alone our new little sister.... we will agree to thine plan. Thou shall see the results of it in a week or so we suspect.”

“Woof.”

Luna frowned closing her eyes.

“Yes... we will address thine questions as well... just …. not here. Come..... Court is in recess.” Princess Luna sighed as she stood up gathering up the box in her magic and heading to a small meeting chamber at the back of the throne room, with Rahs following behind her.

[Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library, 6am]

“Are you going to do this every night?” Spike glared at his sister as she paced in front of him, he wasn't sure Twilight have even slept in the last two days. This was the third time tonight her pacing and muttering had woken him up, so he had given up trying to sleep and come down to try and talk with her.

Spike wasn't a hundred percent sure on the details of what had happened but he could easily tell something was wrong. He hadn't seen Rainbow Dash in town any where and Scootaloo said her aunt claimed she had cashed in all her sick days. Rahs had also left town for a few days at the same time to go to Canterlot. Spike was pretty sure that there were no plays going on that he had auditioned for, and the new year of shows wouldn't start until fall.

Twilight was also super stressed out over something that she wouldn't say what , but he knew her well enough to know something big had gone down.

If Spike didn't know any better he would swear Dash and Rahs had run off to elope or something. The only thing that kept him from totally buying into that was his brother just left, there was no big showy production to announce the elopement. He also doubted Rainbow Dash would have been silent about it if that was the case too.

“Okay enough.” Spike sighed.”Drama dog isn't here so I'm supposed to keep an eye on you... What's wrong?”

“Wrong? Nothings wrong why would it be wrong? Just my getting too involved in my plans and lists has doomed Equestria !” Twilight ranted.

Spike blinked slowly at that. After a moment of consideration his eyes widened in panic.

“What!? Did you free Discord again?”Spike asked.

“What? No....”

“Make Princess Luna into Nightmare Moon?”

“No.”

“Forgot to schedule thirty minutes on this months checklist to plan next months checklist?” Spike frowned.

“No... I spotted that issue last week.”

“Accidentally start a prank war with Princess Celestia and blamed it on the Griffon ambassador again?”

“That was not my fault, that was Rahs' for mixing up Cadence's shampoo and Celestia's shampoo and also no.”

“He wouldn't have mixed them up if you hadn't stolen them both to see if you could figure out what made an alicorn's mane all wavy for your Nightmare Night costume.”Spike pointed out.

“I didn't steal them, I borrowed them, and I returned them. Cadence's was the control as she's an alicorn without a wavy mane.”

“Yeah, returned them backwards. Celestia was pink for a week and Cadences mane went white.”

“I have no idea why they had dye in their shampoos .” Twilight sighed.

“They're old, probably have plenty of gray hairs.” Spike shrugged.

“Whatever, also never say that in their ear shot if you want to live, and no that's not it.”

“Well then spill it.” Spike yawned.

“........ The girls and I made Rainbow Dash mad at us.”Twilight sighed. “ Now she won't talk to any of us.”

Spike blinked. “That's it?”

“What do you mean that's it!? This is horrid!” Twilight snapped. “ I feel horrid.”

“What's the big deal, just apologize. It's not like this is your first mistake, I mean heck you and Moon Dancer got into a row at one point that caused thirty thousand bits of damage to the school gym. When you were fourteen at that, and she still came to your party.”

“It's not that simple....” Twilight muttered.

“Or maybe it is. Beats me, she's not mad at me.” Spike yawned. " i mean it's not like i'm the only sane one living here sometimes...."

Any further discussion was cut off by a bright light starting to form in the middle of the room. The effect grew brighter, spitting off sparks and motes of light as it grew, creating a breeze that grew stronger as it whipped through the house kicking up papers and making Twilight's mane and tail billow.

“We didn't do it! ” Spike shouted on reflex.”Applebloom's still grounded and the others aren't back yet.”

The swirling mass exploded into a dark form that coalesced into another Twilight Sparkle. Granted this one looked like crap. Her mane was a mess of bed head hair and was only held in check by a head band. She had on a dark body suit that looked as if it had been tumble dried with pruning sheers. One of her eyes was bandaged and she had a scar on her cheek.

“By the stars … there's two of them....” Spike groaned.” I woke up from an ice cream dream for this?”

“Ahh!” two eyed Twilight yelped.

“Twilight! You've got to listen to me!” The one eyed Twilight explained, rushing over to the two eyed Twilight.

“Who are you? I mean I get you're me, but I'm me, there can't be two mes” Twilight with both eyes explained poking the one eyed Twilight in the chest.”You are not scientifically possible.”

“Doppelganger spell?” Spike offered.

“That would be an exact clone, not something that looks like it came out of a waste punk novel.” Twilight complained.

“Mirror pool?” Spike asked .

“That's just a local myth.” Twilight waved off.

“You mean an Old Pony Tale.” Spike corrected.

Twilight paused thought it over a second and grabbed a bit of paper, jotting that down as something to look into later.

“What … no... well yes, do check that out, but I've got an important message for you from the future!” Twilight with one eye stated.

“Dang the future.” Spike snapped his claws.” That was my next guess.”

“You're from the future?” present Twilight frowned.” Well you're a bit too late, Dash already hates me, where were you three days ago?”

“ What? Dang it I should have gone back that far... arrrg stupid time travel.” Future Twilight cursed. “ Still this is important. Please listen, I don't have much time.”

“Is there like some sort of epic pony war with robots in the future that you came back to warn yourself to stop Air-mesh before the robot uprising?” Spike asked a little too giddy for either of their tastes.

“What no.. I'm from next Tuesday morning.” Future Twilight muttered.

“Wait, so if you're here then time travel is really possible. This destroys so many theories. Plus I touched you and didn't send the universe into a quantum singularity...... Why didn't you say something before I touched you, I could have destroyed us all in a quantum singularity!” present Twilight panicked.

Future Twilight blinked and looked to Spike as her past self continued to rant. “Am I always like this?”

“Yup. Pretty much.” Spike nodded seeming preoccupied with his own thoughts.

“I now have a new found respect for my brothers.” future Twilight sighed.

“Wait. So if it's not robots that attack us, it's gotta be aliens. Only they could act so fast.” Spike slapped a balled claw into his palm.” They'll activate plan nine and attack us with zombies!”

“I retract my previous respect.” future Twilight monotoned staring at her past brother.

“How did you even figure out time travel.... well by you, I mean me....” Present Twilight asked.

“It's in the Canterlot archives in the Star Swirl section, though the spell is based on something Minuette came up with for her final thesis...” Future Twilight explained. “ But that's not important...”

“Really Minuette? The dentist? “ present Twilight asked in disbelief.

“You really think she got into Celestia's school by brushing her teeth and flossing?” Future Twilight snapped.

“Good point.” present Twilight noted only to have the future version of herself slap a hoof over present Twilight's mouth before she could ask more questions.

“Seriously shut up for a moment. I only have a short time to tell you. What ever you do don't.....” future Twilight started only for a white light to form around her sending off sparks of mana before the battered figure vanished.

Spike and Twilight look at the scorch mark that was left on the floor blinking away the spots the light gave to their vision.

“Well that was a thing that happened.” Spike offered looking at his sister who was staring at the spot on the floor. “ Ugh fine... I'll get the mop.”

Author's Note

And here we go again.

It's about Tiger, part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
by TDR

It's about Tiger
part 2

[Ponyville, later that morning.]

Spike raised an eyebrow watching Fluttershy rub the belly of the massive three headed dog, the yellow pegasus was hovering over it making cooing noises.

“Who's a good boy yes you are yes you are.” Fluttershy giggled.

“Right, Rahs is now the third biggest dog in Ponyville.”Spike commented. “ And Mr. Tiny Sniffles has got to be related to this guy.”

“Okay I need to get him back where he belongs. I'm glad Fluttershy showed up, I'm not sure I really wanted to test my magic against something that guards the Gates of Tartarus.” Twilight admitted waving the ball she got from Pinkie around to draw Cerberus's attention. “ I'll get Spot back where he belongs and they'll be no disaster.”

Spike, Pinkie, and Fluttershy watch Twilight run off with giant canine in tow, rubber ball squeaking in the air.

“Why did she call him Spot?” Fluttershy asked Spike.

“Ehh it's one of those super nerd jokes.” Spike shrugged. “The name Cerberus is thought to be related to a word in Sanskrit that was talking about some famous dog that belonged to a Yama or something. Roughly translated it's Kerberos, which means spotted.”

“ That's super meta.” Pinkie Pie nodded.

[the next morning]

“WE”VE CHANGED NOTHING!!” Twilight freaked out looking at the new scar on her face put there by a lost dog flier Spike burped up at high speed.

“It's going to be one of those weeks isn't it?” Spike sighed.

[One cleaned up and slightly less panicked Twilight later]

“Soooo, you're just gonna stand there and do nothing?” Spike asked tilting his head.

“Right, if the future changes because of what I do, maybe it will be safe as long as long as I do nothing.” Twilight smiled.

“ Sooo are we sure this is a changeable fate? Cause if you come back and warn yourself, and then you didn't do what you weren't supposed to would that mean that you would never come back to tell yourself not to do it, then you would do it any way so you would come back and warn yourself, but because you warned yourself you didn't do it and didn't come back to warn........ oh I've made myself go all cross eyed....” Spike blinked falling over in a heap.

Twilight glanced down at her little brother and rolled her eyes.

“Hey Twilight, Fireball just got back and ….” Pinkie shouted throwing open the door and pronking into the library, one of her bounces causing her to land on Spike who let out a loud yelp and a gout of flame that struck the 'not moving to save the future' Twilight.

“Oops.” Pinkie winced.” Sorry Spike, I didn't see you there.”

“GAH!!!!” Twilight shrieked running around with her mane on fire before she managed to rush to the bathroom and put it out in the sink.

“Oops again?” Pinkie Pie offered.

“AAAAH!!! It's the same mane cut she had!!” Not doing anything changes nothing either!!!” Twilight shrieked.

“Ummm okay.” Pinkie Pie shrugged.

“Please get off of me.” Spike whined.

[ Canterlot.]

Princess Celestia raised a brow as a number of strands of purple mane drift down in the air in front of her. This was possibly the third oddest thing Twilight had ever sent her.

One of the nearby maids glanced to the hair falling before the Sun Princess with just as much confusion as Celestia.

“Um... should I get a broom Princess?” the maid asked.

“If you don't mind. I think I'm just going to ignore this one.” Celestia sighed.

“Might be for the best Princess.”

[ Ponyville]

“Seriously?” Twilight asked.

“Of course!” Pinkie Pie offered, holding up a crystal ball on one hoof before plonking it down on the table.”Lets see what the future holds...... “

Spike and Twilight look at each other then back to Pinkie who in the moment they were not looking at her suddenly had a turban and a purple and gold cloak.

The siblings shared another confused glance, and when they looked back at Pinkie most of the library behind her was done up in old gypsy like decor.

They both silently agreed not to look away from the pink mare again.

Pinkie Pie wiggled her fore legs in front of the ball making spooky noises.

“Ahh yes here it is , show me what the future holds....... wait a minute. That's an ad for all natural stallion enhancement.” Pinkie Pie tapped the ball with a hoof. “Okay no.. wait, I missed eight messages from Maud, oh no.”

Spike and Twilight wanted to share a sideways glance, but kept their eyes on the mare before them lest they some how wind up in a tent.

“Okay those are taken care of and …...... wait what do you mean I can't access the future with ad block on... come on!”Pinkie grumbled. “No one wants ads and there's better ways to generate revenue than pop ups.....”

“Pinkie Pie please. Can't you just use your Pinkie Sense or whatever to tell us what the future disaster is?” Twilight demanded. “I've got enough stress on my mind without an impending disaster.”

“No can do. My pinkie sense only tells the immediate future not the far future.” Pinkie Pie smiled.

“Arrrgh.....” Twilight growled, her eyes widening as Pinkie Pie started vibrating.

“What? What is it!?” Twilight demanded only to get hit in the head with a flower pot.

“That's new.” Spike chimed up.

“Where did that even come from?” Pinkie Pie asked looking up.

[ Ponyville, later in the week]

“So Rahs is still gone?” Fluttershy asked Pinkie Pie as they walked through town.

“Yep Spike said he sent a letter back that he had a project to take care of, but he was going to be staying in the castle until that was done.” Pinkie Pie sighed. “I wanna apologize to him and Dashie but I can't with neither of them around.”

“Well I've seen Rainbow Dash.. but...... she's still very angry at every pony.” Fluttershy sighed. “ Perhaps we should give her space for a bit before we try to talk to her?”

“Well you've known her longer than any one else so I'll take your word for it Fluttershy.” Pinkie Pie sighed. “I'm gonna go check on Twilight and make sure she didn't get a concussion.”

[ Golden Oaks library.]

“Uhhhhhhh......”Pinkie Pie stammered looking at the mess that was the entirety of the library.

Twilight , now sporting a bandage around her head was darting around looking over charts and graphs while rambling on about something in a techno babble that Pinkie Pie couldn't follow.

“Mr. Spike, Status Report.” Pinkie said flatly.

“She's giving it all she's got,she can't take much more.... and frankly I'm really worried. She's not slept since last week and she's trying to watch everything.” Spike offered with a wave of his claws.” At least she doesn't have the eye patch yet.”

“Eye patch?” Pinkie questioned reaching behind a book nearby and pulling one out.

“....... Why did you hide an eye patch behind.......” Spike looked at the book title. “ Pirates of the Eastern Sea..... okay that's kinda fitting. Still why?”

“I hide eye patches and all sort of other stuff around Ponyville.” Pinkie Pie admitted.

“Why?” Spike asked again as he stared at the mare, wondering if he should even bother to ask.

“In case of eye patch emergency.” Pinkie beamed.

“And what...” Spike asked hesitantly”.... counts as an 'eye patch emergency'?”

“Oh you know, sudden eye exams, the need to go into a dark area and then a light area and keep your night vision, pirate raids.................” Pinkie Pie rambled.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!” Twilight screamed falling away from a telescope.

“....That.” Pinkie Pie concluded.

“I think she forgot it was day time.” Spike sighed.

[Canterlot, Starswirl the bearded wing. Tuesday morning]

Rahs, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna blink in confusion at the mess of the Starswirl the bearded wing. Scrolls and books littered every aisle, and there was a big char mark on the floor.

“What the pluck?”

“Language.” Luna chided.

“Well it seems that the Guard who thought to interrupt breakfast to tell us Twilight was here had a right to be worried.” Princess Celestia sighed glancing leerily at Pinkie Pie. A week without cake had been murder.“So how bad is it Spike?”

Spike shrugged. “She hasn't slept since last Tuesday when a time traveling version of herself came back to warn her of something. So she went back to tell herself not to worry about it cause there was nothing happening.”

“Bark?”Rahs questioned.

“Nah, this was a pretty good distraction from her freaking out over whatever happened between her and Rainbow Dash.” Spike stated and Pinkie Pie winced.

“Well that would explain the letter.” Princess Celestia sighed. “Has she tried simply apologizing yet? I think that sort of worked for us. I'm still getting used to being called out on my long term planning.”

“We can't just apologize, that is too little, we screwed up BIG TIME, so we gotta apologize BIG!” Pinkie Pie protested.

“So that is a no.” Princess Luna sighed.

Any further conversation was cut off as a flash of light made another char on the floor as Twilight reappeared.

“Welp...... I never should have got out of bed...... a week ago.....” Twilight grumbled. “ I just went back to tell myself not to freak out about a nonexistent disaster only to not let myself talk long enough that I couldn't pass on a message that will now have me freaking out for a week about something that doesn't exist. And I spent all this time sneaking around in here for nothing.”

“Given that as an Element Bearer you have clearance to this wing any way. Why were you sneaking around?” Princess Celestia asked.” Also I hope you plan to clean this up.”

“What!? Princess Celestia? Princess Luna?” Twilight blinked in surprise. “ What are you doing here?”

“I live here, this is my castle after all.” Celestia smiled.” Happy Tuesday by the way.”

“We are here currently not finishing our dinner.” Luna pouted. “ We have become partial to the chefs spinach and mushroom Alfredo and it is likely getting cold. Come join us for ….. well what ever meal you wish it to be at this point and if you wish you can explain yourself.”

“Can I get ice cream?” Spike asked. “I choose an ice cream meal.”

“Woof!” Rahs chided.

“Hey if I make myself sick that's future Spike's problem.” Spike grinned.

Author's Note

Now for the ultimate question of how Rahs is second[now third] biggest dog in Ponyville.

Mr. Tiny Sniffles is a Russian bear dog as Big as Celestia who belongs to Dinky Doo. he is Winona's boy friend.

according to Dinky.

Mr. Tiny Sniffles is quite protective of Dinky and has gathered quite an impressive collection of sticks, feathers, and random bits of fur and scales from things in the everfree.

May the best Persian win

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

May the best Persian win

[ Canterlot]

“ Not that we are complaining that thou wishes to' hang out' with us.” Princess Luna began looking at Rahs as he poured over a stack of books Luna had presented him. “ But are thou sure thine sister can be left alone this long without trouble? We have found ours cannot.”

Celestia looked up from the other end of the table frowning as she had been studying the Element of Loyalty.

“I did fine for a thousand years, thank you very much.” Celestia snorted. “ I'm still a little annoyed you convinced me to break into vault thirteen. All that is in there are my oldest journals. At least the ones that survived the great fire of 32 ANM. Most of them are just day to day court information. I've already gone over most of them before when I was looking into Rahs possible species, and I'm quite sure there's nothing in there on Witch Wolves.”

Celestia noted her sisters flinch, though rather than get angry as she had done before, she simply looked at Rahs.

“At any rate, no the Element of Loyalty is not broken.... well the chain snapped, but it looks more like it simply parted as there doesn't appear to be any damage.” Princess Celestia frowned. “ Still this explains Twilight's letter a bit better.”

Celestia narrowed her eyes at Rahs. “I will only let you hang onto it if you promise not to try and eat it.”

“ As if thou even have permission for that. We were the last to wield that Element. We used Loyalty, Honesty, and Magic. Thee had Laughter, Generosity, and Kindness.”

“I believe you are mistaken Lulu.” Celestia frowned. “ I had Loyalty, Magic, and Compassion. You had Laughter, Generosity, and Honesty.”

“Tis Kindness, not Compassion. And even thou admit we bore Honesty, so we are not speaking false in what we bore.” Luna snorted.

“I didn't say you were lying, I said you are mistaken, clearly your old age has caught up with you and you remembered it wrong. “ Celestia corrected.

Then the bickering started.

Rahs hadn't really asked for the history of why Luna became Nightmare Moon, something Luna had responded favorably too, but he had been insistent to learn as much about Witch Wolves as he could.

The results had not been positive. Princess Luna hadn't known a way to turn Rahs back if he changed again and Celestia had never tried to talk or do anything with the ones she had met. With everything that had happened after Nightmare Moon had been banished, Celestia had no choice but to take a 'scorched earth' policy in dealing with them.

Princess Celestia hadn't let Twilight look through these old books personally before, though after the Discord incident she was planning to send the older, less incriminating ones, to the Ponyville Library for Twilight to look through to see if she could find some hint of what the prophecy foretold. Celestia was also looking through some other tomes here and there that were hidden or sealed away.

Really though the library's collection was rather small, a large portion of older books had been lost in the fire, or had been somewhere else that was no longer accessible. Celestia was also going to allow Twilight to investigate the former Royal Castle of Whinnyshire in the Everfree to see if anything might have survived. When Nightmare Moon had attacked, much of the structure was destroyed and given that afterward Celestia was too busy with negotiations and removing the last remnants of the Nightmare army, the nobles took it upon themselves to build a new capitol on the tallest mountain around. In their rush to get away from the rapidly encroaching Everfree and build Canterlot, they left a number of things to rot away in the old castle. In fact they had gone out of their way to leave anything behind at all that mentioned or had relevance to Princess Luna.

Luna was not happy about that.

These journals were going to wind up being sent to Twilight as well, but Rahs had insisted he get first crack at them. Mostly to annoy his sister that he got to read something first.

So far it had been a boring week of going through the old books. Unlike his sister Rahs wasn't a fan of EVERY book, he preferred stories with drama, and action and romance depending on the mood. So most of this was dull.

Rahs let out a small groan setting the book he was reading down and rubbing his eyes. Nothing they had found that survived the fire or exodus told him anything new about Witch Wolves.

The only thing of note was Princess Luna had only added that there were only a few hundred of them created, and the way to do so was currently lost. Princess Celestia argued that her forces had fought thousands during the two wars. That devolved into a petty argument where one sister declared the other needed to learn to count and the other smacked the first with a copy of 'Foals first numbers'.

It went down hill from there for a while cumulating in a hoofy slap fight before lunch was served.

A slappy hoof fight that had resumed now and was quickly building towards the Princesses beating each other with their seat cushions.

While Rahs enjoyed seeing this sort of argument from the outside, seeing two Gods with their history do it was a little unnerving, even if they did make up quickly.

[ Canterlot Cadence's quarters.]

The Princess of Love's ears perked up as she looked around her room.
Her 'sexy pillow fight sense' was tingling.

After a moment more of nothing she shrugged and returned to her charts, clearly it had been a false alarm.

[Ponyville.]

“You know if he stays in Canterlot too much longer I am not against heading up there to apologize personally.” Rarity frowned, picking up the offered mug and taking a sip of her coffee.” Thank you Spike.”

Spike nodded trundling back off into the kitchen. Pinkie Pie had been banned from it after the cake batter flood and Twilight had been banned from the kitchen for trying to fix the cake batter flood. This had left Spike as the primary chef of Golden Oaks Library. Something he was highly amused by. Though he wouldn't say where he had gotten the chefs hat, nor the ridiculously large fake mustache.

Rarity was sitting at a round table with Twilight directly across from her. The purple mare had her nose in a book. Evidently once she found out she had access to the Starswirl wing, she had checked out nearly half the contents. She was only stopped from borrowing them all by the caretaker, Dewy Decimal, threatening to revoke her card if she didn't return them on time because she couldn't read all the ones she borrowed in time.

To Rarity's left sat Applejack. The orange mare had poured herself into her work after the Mare -do-Well incident. Given how close she and Rainbow were it wasn't much a surprise she was taking it so hard. Rainbow Dash's words likely struck harder on her given Applejack's issues with pride in the past.

To her right sat Pinkie Pie. The mare was far more despondent than the others. She and Rainbow Dash had been getting along rather well as of late and to have it suddenly blow up in her face like this. Well Pinkie had given her self a month on the black list because of it.

Rarity herself was upset, but not to the level the others were. She knew and dealt with Dash the least, and while she wanted to apologize to Dash, she wasn't going to let herself fall apart about it like the others were. Nor was she going to go over board in trying to apologize like Pinkie was planning. In truth Rarity thought Dash had gone a bit over board with her outburst. Rahs had as well, and while she planned to apologize to him, she was also going to twist his ears until he apologized to his sister. This whole mess was ridiculous on both sides of the issue. Certainly they had gone too far, but so had Rainbow Dash in being a braggart. Rarity hadn't expected the mare to be humble, but she had spoken with some of those around Dash's rescues. The stallion on the runaway cart had been quite annoyed at Dash for grandstanding, as had the mother of the foal she saved. Not to mention she was still signing autographs while a balloon fell from the sky.

The seamstress' real focus however was on the events themselves.

Truthfully Rarity wondered what might have caused all of those sudden accidents. It was odd even for Ponyville.

Was it just the after effects of Discord's magic? Or was there a third party involved. A pony who's talent was ballooning suddenly having their air bag pop with enough of a hole that the redundencys were made useless. A foal cart careening down a cliff, might simply be parental error, but the mare swore she had put on the brake.

The cart was an odd thing too. The pullers leads all broke off at once on a sharp turn and then the cart's breaks failed?

Some gears stripped inside a crane and a whole structure is knocked down. Then there was the hole in the dam. That thing is checked daily by the maintenance ponies and a crack the size Rainbow Dash had reported shouldn't have burst out the whole damn like that, the lake behind it didn't have enough pressure.

One or two could be accidents. Three or four, plain bad luck, or a Tuesday. More than that however, well that seemed intentional.

She knew Rainbow Dash hadn't done it to earn more praise, she also knew that the girls hadn't done it to add to their lesson for Rainbow Dash. That meant that it was likely an unknown third party seeking to harm Ponyville, or at least those in it.

Rarity had no proof of anything, but she was also keeping her eyes open.

It was during these musings that the final member of their little pity party arrived.

Fluttershy had taken the news the hardest simply due to her being Rainbow Dash's oldest friend. Frankly she had been far more of a wreck than usual. Rarity had been more worried about her than any of the others. She had planed to confront Rainbow Dash and take sole responsibility for brow beating Fluttershy into the Mare-Do -Well situation just so she and Dash could remain friends. Rarity could deal with a pony disliking her, it was the nature of the business she was in sometimes. Fluttershy was far too sensitive about it.

As such, to see the mare come in with a large smile on her face peaked Rarity's interest immediately. The others it seemed had yet to notice.

“Well you look chipper today. Did something happen?” Rarity asked causing some of the others to raise their eyes to look to the yellow pegasus.

“Oh yes... Rainbow Dash came by my house.” Fluttershy offered before, crying out as she was mobbed by the others asking questions.

[Canterlot, after Dinner]

Rahs smiled slightly as one of the Guards brought him a newspaper.

Honestly the joke with this simple act had him giggling a bit longer than he should have been.

“What, no slippers?”

Luna smirked and the Night Guard in question rolled his eyes.

“So how does it look?” Princess Luna questioned shifting on her throne to lean over the arm rest to where Rahs had planted him self leaning against the side of the throne.

The throne room was as usual empty during Luna's Night Court so no one really cared about Rahs being there. In fact it had been beneficial when Prince Blue Blood had come in earlier. Luna had expected the day shifts crowd to force a few nobles into appearing tonight. The few times Prince had come before her he had been stiff and as formal as every other noble with a log up their arse.

Upon spotting Rahs and seeing no one else to bring it up he had dropped into a much more friendly manner speaking with him before presenting his case in the quickest manner she had ever seen a noble do so.

He had allowed Twilight to borrow a rather expensive cart of his during the attack by Discord and the bit counters had refused thus far to reimburse him for it.

Evidently the THUNDERHEAD was currently a eucalyptus tree, on Sweet Apple Acres now. Complete with it's own Koala. An animal that Fluttershy actually seemed to want to be rid of in truth.

Despite having all the enchantments and parts for the Sulky cart itemized the royal accountants were still giving him grief. Upon hearing Rahs' confirmation of the incident Luna had the accountant woken and the vault opened to payback Prince.

While the bits were not an issue for a Blueblood the acknowledgment that he had contributed in some small way to the defeat of Discord put him a bit further ahead of some of the other nobles, particularly since he now had proof.

Also he really liked that cart.

Princess Luna wasn't used to speaking with one of the nobles who acted, well normal. Tia and Cadence had said he wasn't as bad as others, but she had never seen anything from him but more of the same until now.

He had retired an hour or so ago and the current interest of the moment was the newspaper headline from Manehatten.

The front page had a photo that showed a mare in a purple cloak, hat, and mask lifting up a wagon that was being used by some robbers as a getaway vehicle. Said cart was being smashed into a rock outside of town while several other ponies scattered away from the scene in panic.

The Decaff Brigade thought the event was over the top and excessive.

Rahs thought the image was properly dramatic and perfectly heroic.

Luna thought the pose was from a bad angle and made her flank look big.

[Ponyville]

“She adopted the turtle?” Pinkie Pie blinked.

“Tortoise.” Fluttershy corrected.” And yes Tank and Dash hit it off fairly well after she got hurt and he carried her out of Ghastly Gorge.”

The group stared at Fluttershy for a moment more before Twilight spoke up.

“Did she actually forgive you for the whole Mare- Do-Well thing?”

“Not entirely I think. But we both apologized to each other. She's still mad and hurt, but I think we patched everything up fairly well.” Fluttershy smiled.

“Rather surprised yah let her have that race through Ghastly Gorge. Them Quarry eels ain't no joke” Applejack commented.

“Well I didn't plan to, but the animals were all for it even though Tank had some doubts. “ Fluttershy commented. “Rainbow Dash is already working on getting a habitat for him made out of cloud-crete in her house so he doesn't fall through the floor. Still Tank is not exactly designed to keep up with her.”

”I may have something for that, an old science fair project of mine. The original is destroyed, but I can recreate it, it was initially designed as a way to move large rocks without need of magic or muscle, but it was too inefficient.” Twilight pondered.” I lost out to Moon Dancer who translated Guard Cant into eight other languages for creatures with hands, claws, or fins. Given how helpful it's been for deaf creatures, I can't feel bad for the loss.”

“Well then it seems we can indeed be forgiven with time and some effort.” Rarity smirked.” So perhaps every pony can stop being so mopey now.”

[Canterlot.]

The Princess pillow pygmachy proceeded protensive. Plush palisades and pronaos, protected pony posteriors, procephalic parts, and papilla. The plethora of puniceous pillowy paraphernalia peppering panting princesses, perhaps poised ponies to ponder properly the perchance of ponies placed in a paedarchy presently.

Rahs thus far had avoided the massive pillow fight, and had continued to look through the books before finally giving up.

His amber eyes darted back and forth as the pillows flew across the table colliding in the air or doing little damage to the two pillow forts set up on either side of the room now.

Both sides seemed to be ready to up the scale of the conflict as Luna had amassed a large collection of pillows, likely from every room in the castle, while Celestia had clearly raided the ambassadors wing given the odd collection of shaped pillows she had as well as the massive bed sized pillow the Saddle Arabians liked to sleep on.

Both were poised to fire and Rahs realized he was still in the middle of it just as the ammo was released.

The Moon Dog let out a yelp as the massive pillow and the swarm of smaller ones collided and burred him under the impacted ammo.

“Rahs!” Luna shouted.

“Oh dear.” Celestia winced having gotten carried away.

The two Princesses rushed over to the massive pile of pillows were Rahs had been sitting, tossing the pillows aside to unbury the Moon Dog.

“I believe we might have gotten carried away there Lulu.” Celestia winced.

“Indeed. We hope he is alri.... gone?” Luna blinked looking at the bare floor under the pile.

Before either Princess could react a pair of pillows thrown from the other side of the table Rahs had crawled under smacked both of them in the face.

“Bork!”

The Princess blinked looking over at Rahs who had a wide grin on his face before the pair of them grinned again and levitated more pillows as Rahs dove for cover.

And the great pillow war resumed.

Author's Note

More plot, more intrigue. More drama. And yeah......

Also may or may not be updating as quickly, because well Fallout 76.....

Hairball Fluttershy

Twilight Gets a Puppy.
Season 2
By TDR

Hairball Fluttershy

[Ponyville, start of Fall]

Twilight Sparkle sat at the table rubbing her temples with her hooves. Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy sat around the table with one empty chair for Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus had a open invite to these gatherings, but thus far had yet to show up.

“Okay.... so they made.... a water spout....” Twilight began.

“Tornado.” Rarity corrected.

“It was over water, it's a water spout.” Twilight protested.

“One can hardly call the frog pond a large enough body of water to make it a water spout. It was simply a tornado formed over a pond.” Rarity returned.

“Do you have any idea how deep that pond is?” Twilight rolled her eyes.” Deep enough that it has it's own giant squid. It's also fed from a underground waterway that no one can figure out the source of.”

“Oh the water flows from the north. The under ground ocean there flows all the way up to the Frozen North where it's melt off from a glacier.” Fluttershy offered.

The others stared at her for a moment.

“Overfiend came from the north. Squids are very smart. And he says it's very cold at that end of his territory.” Fluttershy offered.

“Tha squids name is Overfiend?” Applejack questioned.

“Oh yes, He's not the only one who lives down there, his sister, La Blue, lives further south under the badlands. His parents came to the area from the Eastern sea. He said it seems like a vast underground cave system that flooded after a glacier melted centuries ago.” Fluttershy offered.

“While this is fascinating and I really should be taking notes..... perhaps later, back on topic, the water spout...” Twilight stated.

“Tornado.” Rarity corrected.

“Oh fer tha love of... call it a twister and be done with it that covers everything.” Applejack snapped.

“Right the twister..... why?” Twilight accepted.

“Why what?” Fluttershy asked.

“Why did they need a wa.... twister, to take the water to Cloudsdale?” Twilight demanded after a glare at Rarity.

“Oh, to fill the weather reservoirs to be ready for the coming snow season.” Fluttershy offered.

“What about evaporation, the water cycle... why this... ridiculousness?”Twilight waved a hoof.

“The what?” Fluttershy asked.

“Water cycle. Water evaporates into the air condenses at lower temperatures, returns to the ground as precipitation......” Twilight explained.”There's more to it than that when you take into account condensation wind sheer and the like but that's the basic water cycle.”

“News to me.” Pinkie Pie offered.

“Wouldn't everything always be dry if'n that water all floated away?” Applejack commented.

“It may explain the humidity during the summer at time.” Rarity considered.” That plays havoc on my mane.”

“Can't say I've ever heard of this before Twilight. I mean I've never worked with the weather bureau, but they always draw up a water every year.” Fluttershy added.

“It's a scientifically proven thing...” Twilight grumbled. “ I mean it's how things work in the Everfree, and how it still rains and snows in other nations that don't have pegasi controlling the weather.” Twilight explained and frowned. “ I need to talk to Cheerilee about her curriculum.”

“Wouldn't it be like raining up if the water was sucked into the air like that?' Pinkie Pie asked.

“No because the particles of water are too small to be noticed, Rarity was close when she said humidity.” Twilight flattened her ears. “ I mean you've all seen evaporation, it's why when you have a cup of water and leave it in the sun for a while the water goes away. What did you think happened?”

“Some one else drunk from tha glass.” Applejack stated flatly.

“Most likely Opal or Sweetiebelle, despite the fact the first has perfectly good water in her bowl, and the later is perfectly capable of getting her own drink....... well not orange juice..... “Rarity frowned.” But the less said about that the better.”

“I always just thought the sun was thirsty being as hot as it is all the time.” Pinkie Pie chimed.

“Umm magic?” Fluttershy shrugged as Twilight planted her face into the table with a thud.

“Moving on, so what's tha deal with Spitfire. Why'd she sit off to tha sidelines tha whole time?” Applejack questioned. “Don't sit right that yah only had a bit of wing power short an a Wonderbolts just sitting by watching.”

“I was kinda curious about that too. So I asked Fireball afterward.“ Fluttershy stated.” She says her sister was ready to help, but was holding back due to Rainbow Dash seeming so determined. The moment she was asked she was ready to help just so she could get back to Scootaloo. Poor things going to miss the first few days of school. Seems she was one of the first to catch the feather-flu. Honestly I didn't know Spitfire was Scootaloo's mother.”

The others nod having learned of Scootaloo's parentage from their younger siblings a while back. Pinkie Pie nodded along because she knew every pony any way.

“Well with that out of the way there's another thing I want to bring up since every ponys here.” Twilight offered her horn glowing as she took a newspaper from the main library desk dropping it on the table before them.“ Does any pony know what's going on with this?”

Looking at the paper the group of them all shift around to stare down at the Manhatten publication reading the front page.

“Is that?” Applejack questioned.

“Mare-Do-Well. Yeah.” Twilight acknowledged.

“So which one of us is running round Manehatten?” Applejack queried.

Every pony looked over at Pinkie Pie.

“What?You think I've been able to do anything but work with how close Mrs. Cake is to giving birth? She looks like a blimp....” Pinkie waved her hooves in the air. “She's also driving Mr. Cake crazy with requests.. all sorts of weird foods. I mean, oatmeal? Are you crazy?”

“I'm not sure how i could do it any way , I don't have the costume any more.” Fluttershy offered.

“That's right.. Rahs took them all before he left in a huff.” Rarity frowned. “ But that really is not his figure. It is decidedly a mare... though perhaps she could lose a little weight....”

“Rahs has um? Where is he any way? Thought he came back couple days ago.” Applejack questioned.

Before Twilight could answer the front door opened and the Moon Dog in questioned walked in grumbling. He looked like he had been roughed up as his training coach had not been thrilled he vanished for a couple of weeks and decided to make up for lost time.

Setting paw inside the library however and realizing there were now five mares all staring at him gave him pause. The paper on the table drew his eyes and the looks on the mares faces suddenly spoke volumes. And none of it good.

With nary a bark the Moon Dog reached back behind him, pulled open the door again and stepped back out of the building.

“Rahs get back in here and explain this!!” Twilight shouted

“NOPE!”

Author's Note

I work retail, just survived the blackest of Fridays. Also i started writing a new Fallout Equestria fic.

This stories gonna crank up again soon, though I'm mostly mapped out on season three. Sorta dumping useless episodes atm.

Kitten Cakes, part one

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Kitten Cakes,
part one

[Ponyville, Fall, two weeks after Tank came to live with Rainbow Dash]

“Well that settles it, we can't take yah any where Pinkie.” Applejack muttered yanking the rope a bit tighter around Pinkie Pie's legs.

“But the babies!!!!!!!” Pinkie Pie whined from the floor where Rahs was sitting on her as Applejack tied her up.

“Are newly born and need to rest , as do the parents. “ Nurse Redheart growled, before leaning down to glare at Pinkie Pie white muzzle to pink. “ And so help me Miss Pie if you wake the nursery again with your shenanigans I will make sure that that' Black List' of yours is known as the second worst punishment in Ponyville.”

The others remained wisely silent after coming to see the new foals, pretending not to notice the Pink mares mania. All save Fluttershy who was watching Pinkie Pie being hog tied with interest.

“Woof.” Rahs pointed out waiting for Applejack to finish tying Pinkie before he sat on her again. No one trusted the pink mare to stay in the ropes without a guard.

“Right that's a good point, what did you name them?” Twilight asked.

Carrot Cake looked rather haggard as he looked down at Pinkie Pie before he let out a small sigh.”So we named our little colt Pound Cake, and our little filly Pumpkin Cake.”

“A unicorn and a pegasus.” Applejack hummed softly.

“Well you see my great great great grandfather was a unicorn. And Cupcake's great aunt, second cousin twice removed was a pegasus.” Carrot Cake offered.” That makes sense right?”

Rarity hummed a little at that as Twilight started doing calculations in her head.

“Do twins run in the family?” Fluttershy asked.

“Not to my knowledge really.” Carrot shrugged.

“Hmmm.” Rarity hummed louder as if in agreement as she inched closer to Twilight.

Applejack shrugged, letting it go at that.

“Wait if it's second cousin twice removed then its not... hmmmph!!” Twilight started to explain having done the math in her head and seen a number of things not add up with the genetics. Thankfully Rarity caught on to her friends complete and utter lack of tact and bravely sacrificed her hoof to shove it in Twilight's mouth. Cutting her off before she pointed out something obvious to everyone else that would have just made Carrot Cake rather upset.

“They are quite lovely dear, though you should be careful, a foal unicorn is not quite going to be in control of their magic and will likely be doing things that they shouldn't until they learn the limits of their powers.” Rarity stated guiding Twilight into a safer conversation as she with drew her hoof .

“Oh right. IPS, or Infant Probability Surge.” Twilight stated giving Rarity an odd look. ”It's thought of as an old defense mechanism from more primitive times when foals were expected to be up and running around in minutes of being born. Earth Ponies still follow that and some foals have been known to hit the ground running. Literally.”

“Yup, Applebloom was like that, took tha nurses fifteen minutes to catch her too.” Applejack chuckled.

“With unicorns it tends to be the instinctive casting of spells in surges. It's as if they are trying to figure out what sort of magic suits them before they settle on one type. “ Twilight offered. “Some of the spells that they could cast might wind up far surpassing anything they can do as an adult later in life.”

“Bork.” Rahs added with a grin.

“No I don't think any one wants to know Mom's favorite story about how I shut off gravity for the whole block when I was six months old.” Twilight snapped.

The whole room went still as everyone looked at Twilight.

“......... I was trying to get to the cookie jar on top of the fridge, cast the spell and shut off the gravity for the entire block for about an hour. Everything was just floating around in the house and out side the gravity distortion lessened as it spread out so no one went flying up into space despite the attempts by the local foals to do so.” Twilight growled.

“She's only mad because she hasn't figured out how to do it again.”

“I'm working on that.” Twilight snapped at her brother.

“Pegasus have something like that too. Instinctive flying using air currents and updrafts that are too small for any but the most skilled flier to detect.” Fluttershy added interrupting what was building towards a Sparkle argument.

“In either case there is foal proofing to be done that you might not have considered otherwise. “ Rarity claimed.

“Right, though there's plenty of books out there with all you need to know about any issues that may pop up as extensive studies have been done, though we don't have any at the library right now......... oh my gosh!” Twilight smiled pronking into the air a moment.” I get to order new books!”

The others ignored her as she pulled out a list and started writing down all the foal books she would need to order for the library as well as which ones Carrot and Cup Cake should read first. Her rapid fire list making and suggestions were overwhelming the poor stallion, though the others simply took it with a grain of salt and focused on the newborns. Nurse Red Heart was just glad they were doing it quietly.

“But the babies need a birthday party...” Pinkie Pie whined.

[ Golden Oaks Library, several hours later.]

“ … That was nice of Fluttershy to take Pinkie Pie home, not really thrilled that Sugar Cube Corner will be shut down for a week or more, but the new parents need some time off.” Twilight added. “Shy seemed rather insistent that Pinkie Pie stay tied up though...”

Rahs shrugged pushing open the door and stopping dead, causing Twilight to run into him.

“Ow what?? Oh … Good afternoon Princess Luna, you're up early.” Twilight offered looking past her brother.

“Greetings Sparkles. Nay, we are up late still.” Princess Luna returned.” Spike here has been informing us of the goings on of our little sister in the last few weeks.”

“Sup.” Spike waved from the other side of a rather large pile of sugared gemstones likely provided by 'Granny Luna'.” So how's the new foal?”

“Foals . Twilight added, Mrs Cake had twins. Pumpkin and Pound Cake.” Twilight considered. “ A unicorn and pegasus. The probability of them having twins of differing types of ponies is astronomically high.......” Twilight began before Rahs swatted her in the mouth with his tail.

“What !! Hey!!” Twilight protested spitting out fur.

“Woof?” Rahs asked.

“Oh, why are we here..... We have decided since we told thee part of the story that thine sister should be in the know as well. Thus we are going to tell thee about the Witch Wolves.” Luna sighed.” The sooner we get this out and over with the sooner we find if we are to be banished from thine relation or not. Thine ultimatums are most vexing thee realizes this correct? We also thought it best to do so before we accepted the invites from young Sweetiebelle for her family appreciation day event, or came with her to collect candy on Nightmare Night. We are still leery of that one.”

Luna trailed off noting that some how during her statement Twilight had set up a writing desk, three recording crystals and had Spike prepped to write down what she said as well. Rahs had been given a quill and ink well too, though he had taken the moment to draw a crude stick figure of his sister with massive over sized glasses and a cone shaped hat that read 'nerd' in very poor paw writing.

“How...?” never mind. We take you are interested in this then.” Luna stated not asking that as a question ignoring the fact Twilight had bounced a new roll of parchment off Rahs' head for the drawing.

“Princess, please relax. One, Celestia hasn't disowned you yet for what ever this is and two I know quite well that history isn't this thing of sunshine and rainbows like a lot of books say now a days. It's why I like older books as they tend to not be edited to hide things. “ Twilight frowned.” I'm still mad at Celestia for allowing that, we have a ridiculous amount of time that is gone from all written history because the editors removed all trace of your existence from so many tomes and books. Do you have any idea how much I've wanted to get the history from back then straight from the horses mouth? From some pony who's been there? I'm honestly surprised that historians haven't been swarming to try and get what they can from you. They gave up asking Princess Celestia once they found out she was making things up. I was nine before I realized that the great cupcake war of 376 ANM was a complete fabrication. I've been on field trips to the fort where the battle was supposed to be held for crying out loud.”

“Yes we have seen Germane Chocolate base. Tia attempted to fool us with that as well. Thankfully Moon Dancer was there and had words with her.” Luna rolled her eyes. As for thine question, they have, but we have declined to comment. This is the first time we have decided to speak of it.” Luna blinked as Twilight fan fillyed with a squee. Both Spike and Rahs rolled their eyes.

“Best get started Princess, or she'll be dancing around for hours.” Spike sighed.

“Very well, we shall begin.” Luna took a deep breath before letting it out. “ Over thirteen hundred years ago, we fell. It was not a sudden change, but a gradual slide. Ponies rejecting and hiding from our night, treating us as a monster barely held in check by our sister. The Nox- Cal were treated as pariahs simply from being in our favor. Oft they were driven off and in cases far more frequently than we liked destroyed amid cries of witchcraft and vampirisum. Many times the ponies responsible were not even punished unless Tia or our self became involved. It was the start of another tribal war between those of our favored and the ponies of the day. There is a reason they all fled to their homeland. It was not due to having lost a war, but due to how ponies treated them.”

Luna paused as Twilight wrote everything down.

“The Oneiroi was quiet, the Moon Dogs had done their new job in quelling the rampant insanity of the dreams that Discord had created. Tia was occupied with her current love interest a unicorn named Solomon who was a Prince of the Crystal Empire. Well we say prince, but in reality we are not sure his relation to royalty of the Crystal Empire. The royal tree was all over the place as the empire tended to follow a more herd based family unit. We know of one of their famed nobles was said to have bedded so many mares that at least seventy percent of ponies alive today are in someway related to him.”

“Woof?” Rahs asked.

“While we have never heard of him referred to as 'little red', we do recall his name was Rhederic Pelt.”Luna offered before glancing at Spike.” Though we think he called his.... male part that.....”

“HA, I got it right, pay up fuzz ball.” Spike snapped.

Rahs grumbled digging into his coat pocket and pulling out some bits to give to his brother.

“What?” Luna questioned.

“Ignore them, we found four names relating to that particular figure in history in our studies and these two bet money on which one was right.” Twilight sighed. “Still confirmation that the empire existed plays into a number of my hypothesizes regarding it. Please go on.”

“Yes well to make a long story short there was no one for me to turn to during this building crisis of ours. We started coming down harder on neighsayers and those who committed crimes, which only made the fear of us worse.” Luna flattened her ears. Then there was the fact Solomon wasn't as devoted to Tia as it seemed. He tried to cast a spell that would enthrall her to serve him. Fortunately it did not work on my sister. Unfortunately he directed the spell to a new target once he realized it didn't work on Tia. And even more unfortunately that new target was us.”

“It didn't work on Princess Celestia?”Twilight questioned.” What was the spell?”

“The warlock's spell latched on to any fears and insecurities the target had, expanding them and working it's way in to corrupt them. At the time Tia was the highest ruler in the land, she had what she thought was a lover who cared for her, rather than her position, despite what we kept telling her. She also had the devotion and love of all her subjects. She had no issues for the spell to target. On the other hoof, we were a mess and had none of that. We knew that many of our subjects feared or even hated us. The number of times some noble or another showed up to demand the day be extended for some reason or another is higher than the strands of fur on our limbs.” Luna sighed. “It was quite a welcome feeling when we returned from the moon to find that Tia had not altered the cycle at all since our departure.”

“And the spell took effect and that was the birth of Nightmare Moon.” Spike considered.

“Indeed.” Luna nodded.

“Woof.” Rahs pointed out.

“Yes while we were stuck serving him, we were still our own entity. We still wished the destruction of our sister and the day as well as all the little sun worshipers.” Luna frowned. “But at that moment we were still trapped in the center of our castle, with Tia who had seen everything happen and was in shock because of it. There was also a host of Guard and powerful casters all of whom had always believed we were evil anyway and had prepped to destroy us the moment we turned. They called it the 'Nightmare protocol', tis where we took our name from in fact. Still at the time we needed to flee, the spells they had prepared may not have been able to kill us, but they could kill Solomon and slow us enough for Tia to do something. So we were ordered to get us out of the castle.”

Twilight wrote furiously as Spike and Rahs both looked on concerned, Rahs knew the next part but he hadn't heard how it got to this point.

“We were under heavy fire and our shield was being rocked by spells, Tia had started barking orders, we were out of time and needed something to buy us enough to escape so we reached out where we could, and pulled for something, anything to aid us.”Luna flattened her ears. “And what we latched onto and pulled on, was a Moon Dog. Three of them emerged from the Oneiroi, torn from their home and flung back into the waking world. The corruption infesting us affecting them as well and what they became could no longer be called a Moon Dog.”

“These were the first Witch Wolves. And among them was the first, Managarmr. “ Luna said sadly. ”They were beasts of towering muscle and rage. A sum of all the darkness that was within us and the nightmares they had consumed in the Oneiroi.”

Spike paled a little at the idea of that, and even Twilight had stopped writing.

“Solomon gave me the order and I passed it to them. The results... three platoons of the best the Guard had to offer at the time were destroyed. They lasted perhaps twenty minutes against three Witch Wolves. Thou might not have noticed with the passage of time when thou were in Castle Whinnyshire, but many of the crumbled walls were from that battle. The spells that were giving me such a hard time meant nothing to the Witch Wolves. None of the guard survived that first encounter, and thus began the War of Night. We sacrificed one of the Witch Wolves by sicking her on Tia as we made our escape to the Crystal Empire.”

Twilight blinked and frowned. Spike just stared. And Rahs didn't add to what he was told earlier that the one who was sicced on Princess Celestia was a direct ancestor of his. Granted all three of them were.

“ The empire soon fell to our power. Countless ponies enslaved and killed. Solomon realized the power of the Witch Wolves and had me draw more and more from the Oneiroi to act as his soldiers. All of them were as corrupted as the first. I ripped hundreds from their homes their families. The Moon Dogs were in a state of panic, Equestria was suffering nightmares not seen since the time of Discord's reign as my actions threw the Oneiroi into complete chaos once more.” Luna closed her eyes. “ The Witch Wolves were given mostly free reign and in the course of years...”

“Hmmm?” Twilight blinked as Luna trailed off.

“The Crystal Pegasi and Unicorns were made extinct because the Witch Wolves enjoyed their flavor more than the Crystal Earth Ponies... Solomon had them go out and attack other tribes, rip apart other races or enslave them. The Crystal Empire soon became a juggernaut of war. Crystal golems, the witch wolves, enslaved and enthralled soldiers, they stormed over everything in a ever expanding wave.”

“What about the other gods? Wouldn't they have stepped in to stop you rather than have you wipe out their races?” Twilight questioned moving the conversation along past the idea of genocide.

“We have wondered that ourselves, but it seems many stayed back either due to following our rule of non interference with each other or of fear that Solomon would claim them as well. Corrupted Dragons were war machines without match, corrupted buffalo were horrendous engines of destruction. Many Gods did try and do something, but only Tia acted directly.” Luna paused.” The war almost ended when Solomon died. But his son was there to take over, stepping into his fathers horse shoes as if nothing had happened.”

“His son?” Spike asked.

“Sombra. A unicorn who followed his fathers teachings a little too well, it was hard to tell what exactly his motives were but the population suffered even more under him than they had his father.” Luna said sadly. ”Thankfully his reign was short, barely twenty years before the Element's of Harmony were brought to bear. Rather than be hit by them however, Sombra ripped the entire empire from the world. What he did with it we do not know. When Solomon died we left the Empire and were not there to vanish with it. With the forces of Equss thinking they won, we marshaled our forces and started the Equestrian civil war by attacking Tia with the Nox Cal and the Witch Wolves. That conflict raged for ten years before we were defeated and sealed in the moon.”

The Sparkles sat there a moment staring at Luna who seemed to be trying to withdraw further and further into herself.

“Sooooo basically you had a spell cast on you that made you bad?” Spike theorized. “ Hardly your fault.”

“We continued to do 'bad' so after the original caster had died. We can hardly blame it all on Solomon.” Luna frowned.

“That depends on what the spell really was and how the casting went.” Twilight muttered. “ After effects of certain spells can last years and this is magic that is potent enough to affect gods. I seriously doubt all your actions can be blamed on you in this instance.”

“You sound like Tia.....” Luna sighed.

“That doesn't make it any less my own observation or any less true.” Twilight protested with a huff.

“Woof.” Rahs shrugged, his opinion not having changed.

Luna smiled a little.” We are glad thou does not seem angry. We were not sure what thine reaction would be. Or if we would have dealt with the rejection well....”

“You're afraid of going back to that still....” Twilight frowned before she was interrupted by Spike.

“Yeah, well, things aren't really the same now as they were then.” Spike pointed out after thinking a bit. “There's nightclubs, late plays, entire shifts of ponies who are up at night, stargazers, and a number of ponies who prefer the night to the day. No one really is afraid of the night like they used to be... well I'm sure some are, but there's probably ponies who are afraid of the day time too.”

“Heliophobia,” Twilight answered. “I think most of the ones afraid of you now are such, due to how you act and how unlike Princess Celestia you are...I mean she's nice, approachable, quiet, reserved, pretty..mmmmph!!!”

Spike spoke up as Twilight spat out the wad of quill feathers Rahs had shoved into her mouth.

“Ignore the fan filly. You, not Princess Celestia, had three fillies come up and ask you to be one of their sisters. So clearly you're not all that terrifying.”Spike finished.

“Spike those three are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, have you forgotten what they did with that Snallygaster, they... mmmphmppph!!” Twilight began to correct her brother before Rahs shoved a rolled scroll into her mouth to shut her up.

Her immediate response to that was to growl, spit out the parchment, and tackle her brother with a cry of rage.

“Stop shoving things in my mouth!! Why is every one doing that today??” Twilight ranted as the pair started to fight.

Spike and Princess Luna looked over at the pair dukeing it out before Spike sighed. “Yeah, you're good with us princess.”

“We are starting to worry what that really means.” Luna blinked as Twilight bit Rahs' tail.

Author's Note

Longer than my usual chapters with this story, but there you go the story , abridged, of Witch Wolves and Luna's fall.

well. most of it any way...

Clowder Appreciation Day

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Clowder appreciation day

Ponyville School house.

Cheerilee rubbed her temples with her hooves. This was expected yet at the same time so much more annoying that she had predicted.

“Okay, seriously why am I here again?” Rainbow Dash asked rather confused at the invitation she had gotten to attend. ”I'm an only child.”

Spike grinned and started telling a story, one a few of them had heard before revolving around how the mane six got their cutie marks, and how a sonic Rainboom had aided in hatching a particular dragon.

Rainbow Dash was confused for a few more moments before catching on as Spike reached the end of the tale, slapping both her hooves against her face as she realized where this was going.

“Spike, I told you before that just because I made the Rainboom that caused Twilight to have a magic surge, I am not your father.” Rainbow Dash groaned.

“Why must you spurn my love daddy?” Spike asked trying to look at Dash as cute as he could, the effect mostly ruined by his attempts not to laugh and several foals failures at not laughing.

“GAH stop that......” Dash yelped, flipping up into the air as Spike tried to grab her in a hug before failing to keep a straight face and collapsing into laughter himself.” Seriously that's super annoying....the fact Rahs calls me 'papa' makes him a whole lot less hot too.”

“I know … that's why Twilight told us to keep doing it.” Spike cackled.

“Seriously dude you wasted your bet win to get me here on this joke again?” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

“I can't help it, the set up for family appreciation day was too perfect.” Spike laughed.

“Thank you for your time Miss Dash … Spike if you don't have an actual report I'm going to have to fail you on this. As it is I'm already going to have to mark you down a few points for turning this into a joke.” Cheerilee stated from her desk. Spike was a model student most of the time and one of the top ranked in her class. Unfortunately he could also be horribly distracting if he lost his focus, or focused on the wrong thing like in this case.

“Sorry, but like I said, I couldn't resist. Nah Shining's in the hall.” Spike coughed trying to catch his breath.” Hey Shining .. Come on in.”

The door opened and a well muscled white unicorn stallion in the gold armor of the Royal Guard stepped in.

The effect was immediate. Rainbow Dash stopped complaining and took a seat, as did a number of other mothers and older sisters that came to the presentation. A number of young fillies suddenly realized that perhaps colts were not as icky as they first thought as well as a colt or two. Most were just impressed with the gleam of the armor and how cool the Guard looked.

Spike however noticed a pink alicorn staring in the window, her nostrils flaring and fogging the window as she glared angrily at the collection of mares who were now drooling over her colt friend. Spike grinned, this was almost going to be as good as the joke with Rainbow Dash.

Miss. Cheerilee seemed unimpressed with the stallion coming in and her attention focused on Spike.

“I must say this is a bit unexpected Spike. Twilight told me she was planning to come to this to talk about her time as Princess Celestia's student.” Cheerilee offered.

“Yeah, Shining agreed at the last minute when Twi had to cancel.” Spike shrugged.

“Oh so I was second choice huh little brother?” Shining smirked.

“Much further down the list than that. Bleu was first cause she supposedly knows my real parents But Miss Cheerilee said a full grown dragon wasn't acceptable and she never responded to my letter any way. Mom Was next but she wouldn't have been able to talk about who's books she actually works as an editor for. Dad was an idea too but he gets kinda long winded when talking about the constellations and he's had a few break downs as Princess Luna started messing with the constellations, particularly the new, 'Solar booty' constellation taking up most of the eastern sky since the gala. Twilight insisted she be next but that fell through.” Spike listed.

“Ouch.” Shining flattened his ears.

“Hey you beat out Rahs. He was going to set up a one dog show of Death of a Salespony.” Spike rolled his eyes.” And trust me no pony wants that.”

“Okay point in your favor for that one. So where are they any way.” Shining asked.

“Weeeelllllll...” Spike trailed off as both he and Applebloom winced at the question.

[Sweet Apple acres.]

“HE'S OUT OF THE ROPES, MAC GO LEFT!!!” Applejack shouted.

“Eeyup” mac shouted back as the large stallion thundered down the path before he veered off to the side running along the row of trees.

“Dang it, Twilight hurry up with those spells!” Applejack shouted.

“I'm casting as fast as I can, but he's shrugging off everything I do.” Twilight cursed, her horn glowing brightly as she cast tangle foot, binding, slow, and every other debuff spell she could on her self forcing the effects onto Rahs. “ When did that fat ass learn to run like that?”

“BORK!” Rahs shouted back at the insult.

“ MY FLANK IS FINE AS IT IS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!” Twilight shouted back.

Rahs burst from the tree line as he zeroed in on his target. A quick whirl to the left along with a drop slipped him under Fluttershy as she tried to surprise tackle him with a fly by. A twirl in the other direction dodged a grab from Pinkie Pie without slowing his momentum. Big Mac burst from the trees only for Rahs to grab his mane and force the large stallions head down as he ran up the back of his neck and used him like a spring board to leap into the air sending the massive farmer to crash into Pinkie Pie.

His claws outstretched as he soared towards a fully laden Zapp apple tree with a manic grin on his face and a hungry gleam in his eyes.

His majestic leap into the air place his claws just within reach of a ripe Zapp apple, his claws brushing the fruit before something tightened on his tail and with a sharp yank and a yelp from the Moon Dog as he was pulled bodily away from his prizes. He hit the ground hard and Applejack quickly went to work tying the Moon Dog up again, including a muzzle of rope this time.

“Fer crying aloud if'n ah knew letting you eat one of them woulda come to this I'd ah never given it too yah!” Applejack growled glaring down at Rahs. Now quick afore he gets out again lets get going Mac, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, keep an eye on him, Shy keep keeping them critters away, lets go go go!”

[~~Ponyville School House~~. Charlie.]

“There's quite a lot of training involved, both physical and mental, and it's not easy, but if you're still interested when you grow up Pipsqueak, the Royal Guard is always happy to have new recruits.” Shining Armor concluded.” Are there any other questions....., any other questions that do not pertain to my relationship status?”

Shining armor's eyes narrowed as nearly every older mare in the room lowered their hooves. Seeing there were no more foals asking questions, Shining Armor looked back to Spike and Cheerilee.

“Alright, well thank you for listening and having me here, but duty calls and I need to be getting back to Canterlot.” Shining smirked putting his helmet back on offering a last wave to the class, ignoring the one mare who swooned as he stepped out.

“well . At least that one was interesting.” Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. In that it didn't put me to sleep.”

“Um right....” Silver Spoon added trying to hide the flush to her cheeks.

“Was a lot better than listening to your dad go on about marketing trends for twenty minutes.” Scootaloo grumbled.

“That's just because you have no head for business and are just going to be a dodo the rest of your life.” Diamond Tiara retorted.

“Alright then , next up is Applebloom and Mrs Granny Smith.”Cheerilee announced.

“Howdy Miss Cheerilee.”Granny smirked as she hobbled in.” Gotta say yah had right perfect timing going with this invite this year. Zapp apple season's started again on an odd note too, didn't hear no howling this year. Still might be Zapp Apple season, but ah sure dun wanna be out there right now dealing with it.”

Spike and Applebloom both winced again.

[ Sweet Apple Acres]

“That varmint chewed up mai rope!!” Applejack shouted. “ Twilight how'd you let him git away?”

“Well, we got an hours worth of work out of it.” Twilight sighed. ”And you called me over to identify some bugs you found to make sure they weren't weevils.

“Well?”

“The lesser of the two is the greater weevil.” Twilight sighed.” Not sure they go after apples though, but your cabbage is doomed.”

“Ah don't grow cabbage.” Applejack muttered.

“See doomed.” Twilight dead panned.

“My cabbages!!” shouted a voice in the far distance.

“If'n you two are done we need tah catch Rahs.” Big Mac grumbled.

“Ah ain't worried bout him, Shy's got um.”Applejack offered getting an odd look from Big Mac, though a loud roar made him drop his wheat stalk and whirl about.

The trio looked over to see a large manticore sitting in the middle of the field, with Fluttershy cooing at him and petting his muzzle.

Underneath of it was one navy blue furred arm sticking out from under the large creature's rump clawing at the ground twitching. It's owner squished under the larger beasts bulk.

[ Charlie. Ponyville School House]

“So if it wasn't for your family, there wouldn't even be a Ponyville?” Scootaloo asked as Granny Smith nodded getting a number of mutters from the students.

“Ridiculous. She's just a kooky old mare.” Diamond Tiara ranted as some of the crowd gasped.” Just about all of that sounds ridiculous and made up!”

“While she is indeed as you say , a kooky old mare, her story is correct. Or at least that's what Tia has told me.” stated a booming voice.

All heads whipped to the door as a new figure strode in. The dark blue furred mare stood a head taller than every one else in the room, her blue flowing mane be speckled with points of light resembling stars.

Princess Luna, Goddess of the Night, Dreams,the Moon, and coffee... well she was trying very hard to add that last one to her portfolio, but no luck so far, strode into the room.

There was a bit of a panicked shriek as nearly every one in the room dropped into a bow for her, save the four crusaders, Rainbow Dash, and Granny Smith, who just cackled at the entrance.

“No please rise.” Luna sighed glancing back to her two Guards at the door, pity she had skipped ahead to interrupt a neighsayer rather than go with the metal entrance she had planned. Cheerilee and the parents were probably thrilled at that.

“Umm Princess Luna.... what brings you here today?” Cheerilee asked slowly lifting her head.

“Meeeeeeeeee!” Sweetiebelle cheered hopping out of her desk and pronking around the much larger Lunar diarch. “ You came you came!!”

“Indeed, thee asked us too so we came. T'would not be proper to disappoint our little sister.” Luna smiled as Sweetiebelle squeed.

“OH COME ON!” Diamond Tiara shouted before getting shushed back into her seat by Mrs. Cheerilee.

Luna smiled as every pony got settled back into their seats and Sweetiebelle started explaining how the pair of them became sisters. Luna's ears perked as she heard the gnashing of teeth over Sweetiebelle's tale. Glancing to the window she saw a white unicorn with a purple mane pressed against the glass glaring at her.

Princess Luna simply smiled as Rarity fumed.

[Sweet Apple Acres.]

Rahs leaned out a little his eyes narrowed as he peered around the edge of the large tree he was behind. He had left his coat under Manny the Manticore hen he slipped out so Twilight and Fluttershy still thought he was trapped.

Applejack and Big Mac were currently rushing around and picking Zapp Apples. Pinkie Pie had declared her frog was squishy and rushed off to get something, vanishing like a shot and he hadn't seen her since.

He had slipped around the grove making his way to the area the others hadn't gotten to yet. A few rows of trees and a lone Zapp Apple tree just at the edge of the orchard. If he could get up into that with no pony noticing he could claim everything in the tree as his before they even got to it.

Creeping around the out side using the shadows as concealment Rahs made it to the base of the tree. Another glance about showed no one near and he quickly scampered up the tall tree vanishing into the foliage.

Grinning at his success he quickly grabbed on of the Zapp Apples in the tree shoving the whole thing in his mouth and biting down on the delicious.....

Rahs' eyes widened as he nearly choked . He quickly coughed and gagged spitting out the half chewed Zapp Apple gagging and trying to wipe off his tongue with a paw.

He snatched up a large chunk of the apple from his lap , squishing it between his paws as he smelled it and growled.

“WAX!?!?!”

“Hey Rahsy!” Pinkie Pie chimed poking her head out of a thick covering of leaves.” How do you like my paint job?”

Rahs blinked staring at the mare as she pulled back into the foliage and reappeared on the ground hopping out from behind the tree with a bucket of rainbow paint on her back.

“Getting a squishy frog means my pinkie sense is telling me some ones trying to be sneaky. So I had to be sneakier to be the sneakiest! So I came over here and put a bunch of wax apples in the tree and painted them to lure you over here. The tree had to be far enough from the orchard to be singled out, but not far enough to make you wonder. Luckily that old pecan tree was perfect.”

“Woof!”

“MM I dunno. It's a good trick. I mean not only did you not get any Zapp Apples, but now you're stuck up a tree without a ladder.” Pinkie Pie grinned. “ See yah”

Rahs blinked as Pinkie Pie pronked off. He looked around a moment realizing how high in the tree he was and growled.

“BORK!!”

[~~Ponyville School House~~. Charlie. ~~Ponyville school house~~, Charlie (sounds of a slap fight ensue)]

“ No, No... thee must have it come from down here in thine chest. Like this. “ Princess Luna offered. “ GREETINGS OUR SUBJECTS!!”

The boom of the royal Canterlot Voice rattled the windows and shook the school house. Several of the parents and older ponies slapped their hooves over their ears again or were bowled over completely.

The foals loved it however.

Miss. Cheerilee had given up trying to stop the Princess and was currently grading papers at her desk with a large pair of ear muffs on to deaden the sound.

“Now try again.” Luna smiled.

The resulting roar of the students response again shook the building and made the windows rattle.

“Very good it's sounds as if some of thee are getting it. Keep at it an thou shall have the voice perfected in no time.”Princess Luna smiled hearing the collection of groans from the gathered parents in the back.

“Well thank you for that very … loud.... story princess. After what we experienced a few months ago it's nice knowing that Discord has been beaten twice despite his abilities.” Miss Cheerilee added.” Perhaps we should take a short break to get our hearing back before we finish up all the reports.

There was a general mumble of agreement as the foals all pretty much burst from their seats clustering around Princess Luna asking all sorts of random questions.

“Heh this is gonna be awesome. I can't wait to try this out on App....... Fireball... yeah that's who I meant.” Rainbow Dash muttered her ears drooping a bit.

“ Well hello there Rainbow... ain't seen you about fer a bit. My trees to appreciate their branches not gitting slept in , but it's still odd not tah see yah about.” Granny Smith asked as she sauntered up.

“Yeah...... sorry there's a.... thing...... “ Dash muttered.

“Well ah spect tah see yah afore too long. Cider seasons coming soon, And we were gonna try tah make some Zapp apple cider again after tha season. We got tha still rebuilt and reinforced after last years explosion.”Granny smirked proudly getting a wince from Dash.

“Yeah well I'll see if I have the time... I kinda gotta go now.....”Dash frowned being made rather uncomfortable by the old mares questions.” Work and all that.”

Granny Smith watched the pegasus mare dart out the window ignoring Cheerilee yelling at her to use the door.

“Hey Granny.” Applebloom trotted up with the other crusaders and Spike.” Where'd Rainbow Dash go?

“She said back tah work... though ah spect it's more tah mull over why she's angry and if her prides worth more than our cider. All these youngings is hard headed now.” Granny smirked.

“Awwww I wanted her to watch my presentation.” Scootaloo pouted.
“Maybe next time Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash is pretty busy.” Spike shrugged.

“Alright everyone return to your seats, Scootaloo you're up.” Cheerilee called as the foals scrambled to their seats.

“Well at least this will be dull enough, she probably just brought her aunt to talk about the weather again.” Diamond Tiara muttered under her breath.

As every one was settled Scootaloo pulled a poster out of her bag before glancing to the door with a small smile. “Well, I want to introduce my mom...”

Scootaloo unrolled the poster showing large image of one of the Wonderbolts show ads on it.

“Spitfire of the Wonderbolts.” Scootaloo grinned as the crowd oohed at the revelation.

“Please, like any one believes a lie that stupid.” Diamond Tiara fussed.

“Diamond Tiara you have already been warned before not to interrupt other students. One week after school detention.” Cheerilee snapped causing the pink filly to flinch.

Anything further was lost as the door opened and a flame colored yellow and orange maned pegasus mare trotted into the room in full Wonderbolt attire, causing most of the class to lose it as much as they had for the Royal Guard and Princess Luna.

“Hey kid.” Spitfire grins ruffling her daughters mane.” Told you I'd make it this time.” Hope Scoots isn't too much trouble for you Mrs Cheerilee, she gets that from Soarin.”

“Dad says that about you.” Scootaloo giggled.

“OH COME ON!” Diamond Tiara shouted again.

“Two weeks.“ Miss Cheerilee responded, glaring at Diamond Tiara.

[Sweet Apple Acres]

He was dirty, had lost his coat, was covered in rope burns and had yet to get the awful taste of painted wax from his mouth.

But he was out of the tree and had only bounced twice, had zeroed in on a ripe tree, the last one that had to be harvested and had rushed past all the defenders. It wasn't a full tree so he knew it was real.

He had managed to rope Big Mac and Twilight together and his sister wasn't trying that hard to get free. He tricked Manny into sitting on Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy was doing her best to convince him to get up though that kept both of them busy too. Applejack was away sealing the last bushel picked in the basement where he couldn't get to them so this was his last chance.

He hit the bark and was up the tree in a flash reaching up to snatch at the Zapp Apple only to have it vanish. He blinked grabbing at another only for it to poof. Looking around he watched in horror as every Zapp Apple left on the tree poofed away into nothing before his eyes.

“Woof?”

“Yeah about that. Bet yah just asked what happened. See if yah don't manage to pick all that Zapp Apples in a day , they go away some where.” Applejack said from below him. “ And thanks to yer interference we didn't manage tah git um all this year. So guess what varmints not getting a jar a jam this year?”

Rahs looked down at the angry mare with a small whine.

“Don't even try buster. Applebloom uses that look on me all tha time and it dun work fer her and she's bunches cuter than you are.” Applejack snorted. “ Now git outta mai tree.”

Author's Note

A clowder is what a group of cats is called.

Luna Eclipsed. Part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Luna Eclipsed.
Part 1

[Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library, Fall]

Rahs raised an eyebrow looking down at his sister.

Twilight at least tried to look some what sheepish.

The mare in question wore what could be considered a sheer black dress that hugged her form a little too tightly, particularly her rump, the frilled ends of it around her legs trailed off into shadowy looking tatters and probably made it hard to walk. Rahs was quite certain she was also wearing spider web stockings. The chest was cut low enough to show a good bit of her chest floof and her hair was done up in a large beehive style festooned with bat and spider decorations.

Rahs shook his head, Mom would have had a heart attack to see her dressed like this, so the pictures he had Spike take were for Cadence to tease Shining Armor with.

Rahs himself was dressed in a suit with a large black cape . Half his face was covered with a white mask that only left his lower jaw uncovered. The Specter of the Theater had been his go to Nightmare Night costume for about three years now.

“Woof.” Rahs smirked.

Twilight's face turned red.” Shut up! I'll have you know Vampella Mistress of Shadow is a perfectly legitimate costume.”

“Vampella? I thought you were going as Frankenstable's bride?” Spike stated as he waddled in.

The young Dragon was dressed, oddly enough, as a giant rat. Granted it was a giant rat dressed in a red Japony like kung fu costume. He was going to meet up with the Crusaders who were all supposed to be dressed like samurai tortoises.

Foals comics had gotten weird lately. Senior Student Samurai Sulcata was a very strange one even among oddities.

Even Owlowiscious and Mr. Whipple were dressed up. The parasprite had a little witches hat on it's head which it was trying very hard to eat, and Owlowiscious was dressed up like an incredibly old owl with spider webs draped across his form and a odd long white mustache. Twilight said it was from some book about a mouse.

“Frankenstable is the doctor not the monster.” Twilight corrected.

“Woof.” Rahs shrugged.

“Yes, well, I suppose the Bride of Frankenstable's Monster doesn't have as good a ring to it.” Twilight shrugged.” But I'm not her so it doesn't matter.”

The plan for this year was pretty simple. Rahs was staying at the library to pass out candy, as he was the only one of the three that wouldn't eat it all before the foals got there. Twilight was going to a party with Big Mac that Berry Punch was throwing. Rahs fully expected to be called to the Guard post to bail her out before the end of the night if some pony got a bit too touchy feely with Big Mac. He had never taken his sister as the jealous type, but it seemed that Big Mac was sought after by a large number of mares in town. Perils of looking good and living in a town predominately of mares it seemed.

Rahs knew about that first paw really.

Spike was going to join up with the Crusaders and try and clean the town out of candy. He had channeled his sister and made up a map and everything. Thankfully Applebloom's grounding and time on the Black List had finally come to an end and according to Spike she was fiending for something sweet after a few months without.

Of course no good plan survives contact with the enemy.

The first sign there was going to be trouble was a knock on the door. Rahs walked over to open it the bowl of candy in one arm ready to give out the first treats of the night. Opening the door however only revealed a single adult stallion.

The pony in question was in costume, he was hidden under what seemed to be a formerly fancy coat that looked completely ragged and splattered with fake blood, his hooves ended in paws with fake claws, and his tail was bundled up and brushed to look like a wolfs. His mane and face were done up much the same, and gray fur dye made what looked to have been a pristine coat of fur look completely different.

Rahs could still smell who he was though.

“Woof?” Rahs blinked.

“Ahh, yes hello to you as well Rahs.... at least I think that's what you said.” Prince Blueblood greeted.

“Prince?” Twilight blinked as she walked up having heard Rahs identify the stallion. “ What are you doing here?”

“Hey Prince.” Spike called out. “ Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you Spike.” The wolf pony nodded. “Though that was a few days ago.”

“We sent you a card since you're impossible to shop for, guess you didn't get it yet.” Twilight sighed.

Prince paused looking over Twilight a moment with a raised eyebrow as he took in her costume and how it fit the mare. He turned back to Rahs. ”Big Mac?” Rahs nodded and Prince chuckled. “I have new respect for the stallion if he can get you to dress like that.”

Twilight blushed again and glared. ”You didn't answer the question.”

“I think I've found her, and she lives in Ponyville.” Prince said flatly.

That got all three of the Sparkles full attention.

“Really, here? Who is it?” Spike asked bouncing around. “Is it some pony we know?”

“Calm down Spike, though yes it probably is given how I have heard you are meeting and making friends with every one here. That said as usual, I am keeping this under wraps. The press is all over this town still and well if my cousin Cadence caught wind of this I would never hear the end of it. I need to find out for sure before I do anything.” Prince offered. “As such I came by dressed as I did back then to see if she recognizes me.”

“Makes a logical sense. I assume you're going to talk to her and see if she recalls the costume?” Twilight offered getting a nod in return.

“Indeed. And hopefully we can set up a date to get to know each other better after.” Prince smiled under his mask. “By the way might I ask where your other friends are the other Element Bearers... there's at least one or two I would like to avoid for obvious reasons.”

“I know Fluttershy is hiding from everything. She doesn't really like Nightmare Night. “Twilight considered. “Applejack's running the carnavel in the center of town. Not sure on the others.”

“Pinkie Pie's the escort to a bunch of foals hunting candy this year. Zecora's gonna do the story time..... and Sweetiebelle said Rarity usually passes out early after spending the last few days rushing last minute costumes.” Spike offered. “ So no worries about her, not that I expect she'd recognize you in that getup anyway.”

“Woof... Bark.” Rahs rolled his eyes.

Prince looked at Twilight expectantly for a translation though Twilight winced.

“He says Rainbow Dash is probably going to go around pranking again, so watch your back.” Spike offered.” He spotted her coming out of Barnyard Bargains with a black body suit of some kind. No telling what she's going as though. I'd say watch the skys.”

“Yes I shall decidedly be on the look out for her then.” Prince offered with a bit of a smile.” Perhaps I should start my looking around then. I don't wish to keep you from your own plans.”

“Right good luck, let us know how it turns out.” Twilight smiled , as Prince headed back out the door with a wave.

The trio looked at the door for a moment considering this as their friend finally seemed to have luck going his way.

“Huh, so she's in Ponyville?” Spike pondered.

“Yep. I hope he actually finds her. It shouldn't be too bad though, there's only so many pegasi in town.” Twilight offered.

“Bork.” Rahs added.

“Yeah seriously. I hope Dash doesn't scare him off. That gag last year with the pigs was a bit much.” Twilight added as Spike cackled recalling the numbered pigs that had the mayor going nuts.

“Ahh, he should be fine. He said he was gonna look out for her after all.” Spike smirked.

“True and he probably knows Dash pretty well given he keeps sending me letters asking about her.” Twilight sighed. “Either she got the attention of the nobles somehow, or the insurance company on his cart was being particularly demanding.”

“Didn't Princess Celestia say she took care of a replacement for him personally?” Spike offered.

“Right she even gave him a medal for that. Huh guess it's due to some noble having interest in her then....” Twilight trailed off staring at the door.

Spike and Rahs slowly blink, the three of them reaching the same conclusion with all the new information they had been given.

“Wait a minute.......”

As one, the trio rushed to the door to try and catch Prince to ask more questions, only to fling open the door and be bowled back over as a shout erupted sending them tumbling back into the library along with most everything near the front door.

“NIGHTMARE NIGHT, WHAT A FRIGHT, GIVE US SOMETHING SWEET TO BITE!!” three little fillies screamed out, their voices rattling the windows of the library and knocking Owlowicious off his perch and sending him into a hooting frenzy.

“Note to self, re-banish Princess Luna to the moon for teaching the foals the Royal Canterlot Voice.”Twilight muttered from under the pile of her brothers and most of their furniture.

Author's Note

For those wondering why the title is the same as the episode and not a cat pun. It is a cat pun. A Sailor Moon cat pun at that.

Luna Eclipsed, Part 2 [30]

Twilight Gets a Puppy

Season 2
By TDR

Luna Eclipsed
Part 2

[Ponyville]

It took a bit to get everything back in some semblance of order. The foals were given candy and warned to dial back the shouting a bit to prevent blowing out some ponies eardrums. After a moment to consider Twilight said to ignore the rule if they came across some one giving out apples, sugar free candy, or tooth brushes instead of regular candy.

Those sort of ponies were fair game.

Once everything was back together and post it spelled to the floor in case of another group of foals trained in the Royal Canterlot voice, Twilight laid out her plan.

“Right we're going to head out there and keep an eye on Prince to find out if it is Rainbow Dash.” Twilight Explained.” Spike I need you on the north side of town, Rahs you take the south and I'll hit the outskirts, he couldn't have gotten far...”

“Nope.” Spike stated, waving a rather large pillow case in Twilight's face. “ I'm going to get candy as soon as the Crusaders get here.”

“You can get candy later, this is important...” Twilight trailed off.

“Woof. Bark. Whine. Bork.” Rahs listed counting on his claws.

“What do you mean, 'No, super no, really super no, and get bent!?' “ Twilight growled as Rahs grinned down at her, his ears perked as he heard another knock at the door and he went to answer it.

“I agree with him.” Spike added.” I mean heck, this is Prince... and maybe Dash's possible love life we're talking about here. Rainbow Dash is still mad at you, how do you think she'd react if you screwed this up?”

“Errr. Okay that is a valid point, but still what if it is!?! Do you know how long this mystery has bothered me?” Twilight grumbled.” I mean it's almost solved itself, I have to know the end.”

“Is it worth skipping out on Big Mac to chase after another guy to see if he likes your friend?” Spike tilted his head and smirked looking past her.

“I am not skipping out on Big Mac to chase a guy, I'm......” Twilight glanced back, and then up, finally realizing who Spike was looking at.

The massive stallion behind her was dressed in a black suit with a white undershirt. A red necktie wrapped around his neck and he wore a deep red long coat that draped over his form. His rear hooves were in black boots while his front were in white with an odd symbol traced on them. He wore a pair of round orange glasses that hid his eyes and a wide brimmed red hat with an almost pink band around the top.

Twilight blinked as Big Mac grinned showing he was wearing a pair of vampire fangs.

Twilight's eyes widened and she had the urge to curse her brothers for making her have some sort of attraction to fangs, that was the only thing Twilight could come up with.

“Woof?” Rahs grinned.

“Yeah, what are you gonna do now Twilight?” Spike chuckled.

“Uhhhhhhh” Twilight muttered.

“Yup, you broke her. “ Spike rolled his eyes.

“BORK!” Rahs added with a grin.

“Hah, yeah. Have her back by eleven.” Spike translated.

Big Mac picked Twilight up with a hoof draping the mare over his back before trotting back out the door letting out a cackling evil sounding laugh as he did so.

Spike stared after them a moment before looking to Rahs.” Soooo what was Big Mac supposed to be?”

“Bark.” Rahs grinned.

“Oh Ok..... what's a buck mothering vampire?” Spike questioned.

Two more door knocks later the rest of the crusaders arrived with a large gathering of other foals, and Pinkie Pie dressed as a chicken.

Sweetiebelle was dressed in a green body suit with a bunch of ninja weapons and a fake turtle shell. She had a purple mask and her belt had a big R on it. The rest of the costume seemed to be an adapted version of a suit that could be used as a school uniform. She was clearly supposed to be Rockwell from Senior Student Samurai Sulcata.

Scootaloo was dressed exactly the same only her bandanna and other colors were red,as well as the letter on her belt being a K, she was dressed as Kinkade, from the same comic.

Applebloom too was in that sort of outfit , though her bandanna color was orange and her belt letter was an R as she was dressed as Ross.

Behind the trio was a mare who was highly out of place and probably why the crowd of foals was around her. She was dressed like the crusaders though one of her prop weapons Rahs recognized as Dr. Choppy. The turtle shell hid her wings and her coloration was blue and her belt had a large P on it .

Rahs and spike both raised an eyebrow seeing Princess Luna dressed as Pablo.

The princess of the night noticed the stares and sighed tilted her head towards Sweetiebelle. “ T'was her idea.”

“Awww, I lost six bits to Bon Bon.” Pinkie Pie pouted looking over Rahs and Spike's costumes.” I felt sure you and Twilight were gonna dress up as each other this year so Twilight could use her Rahs disguise to try and get closer to Dashie to apologize, resulting in crazy body switching hi-jinks.”

Spike and Rahs stared at Pinkie Pie a moment.

“Woof.” Rahs frowned.

“Yeah . We already did that. A couple years before we moved down here. Then Twilight thought it would be neat to try and make the costumes seem like they were more realistic. “ Spike sighed. “ To make a long story short, she flubbed the spell and I spent four hours of wacky hi-jinks as Twilight dressed as Rahs, Twilight spent the time as Rahs dressed as me, and Rahs was me dressed as Twilight.”

The crusaders, Luna and Pinkie stared at Spike before looking up at Rahs who had nodded after slapping his paws to his face. Scootaloo looked back at Spike curiously.

“What even 'is ' your life Spike?” Scootaloo asked.

“Gotta be a sitcom.” Pinkie Pie nodded.

“A what?” Luna asked.

“Situational comedy, Mrs Cake likes them but doesn't have much time to read any more with the twins.” Pinkie Pie offered.

“Yeah that describes us better than anything else.” Spike nodded.”But enough talk, I've got the list and the map with the most optimal routes. We need to start now so we can clean this town out of candy.”

“YEAH!” the three fillies cried out.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CANDY GRABBERS YAY!!!”

Rahs and Luna shared a worried glance as both Spike and Pinkie Pie had joined in the cheer.

Rahs took note of something else as he doled out a bit of candy to the small group in order to keep them calm a moment longer.” Woof.”

Luna glanced to Rahs her ears perked up.

“Art thou certain? We thought thou was to stay here to pass out candy.” Luna blinked.

“Ruff.” Rahs shrugged and pointed to a shadow near one of the bushes.

Luna glanced over that way and sighed.

“If you insist Rahs. Sergeant Lodestone.” Luna stated.

The thing that stepped out of the shadows had the fillies and Pinkie screaming out in fright. The pony would have towered over Big Mac and was built in a way that made big Mac look like Fluttershy. He had dark gray fur with a short cropped black mane. His tail didn't end in a normal ponies whisk but in a more serpentine length with a number of spines along it that ran up the length to his back along his spine. His hooves were split, not quite cloven but seemingly edged like claws. The giants eyes were reptilian slits with a deep purple coloration. Add the monstrous form to the Lunar Guard silver and purple armor he wore and lesser ponies probably would have soiled themselves with little more than a angry glance from the stallion.

Only the fact that Rahs, Spike, and Luna seemed to be expecting him kept the others from fleeing. Despite that even Rahs and Spike seemed in awe of the sheer size of him.

“COOOL, a Nocturne” Spike chimed up first. “I didn't think any of you guys left Lionheart island.”

“We generally do not. But after the Discord incident it was decided that a bit more muscle might be required for the Princess' Night Guard. The recruitment was quite successful a number of us came from the islands defense force.”Lodestone offered before looking to Luna.” What is it you wish Princess?”

“Take over for Rahs in giving out candy to the foals. He will be accompanying us.” Luna ordered.

“Princess I must protest I am here as one of your Guard detail, I cannot leave you alone it would be a dereliction of my duty.” Lodestone protested.

Luna rolled her eyes.”Sergeant there are five ponies on your team and Tia has two of hers trying to be subtle watching me and eight others watching the Sparkles and the Element Bearers, then there are three Heart Guard here keeping an eye on the Sparkles for some reason or another. We have two of the Sparkles and an Element Bearer with us, we are well covered.”

Rahs blinked in surprise not knowing about any of the other Guard aside from the Nocturne's team which he could smell, and that worried him more than a little, particularly the Heart Guard.

“Oh yeah, I met the one watching me. She wasn't too happy when I offered her some cupcakes. She was even less thrilled when I suggested we get matching t-shirts. Mine would have said 'Pinkie Pie' and hers would have said 'Secret guard watching pinkie Pie, SHHHHHHH, don't pay attention to me'.”

Lodestone and Luna stared at the pink mare dressed as a chicken with a bit of worry before looking to Rahs and Spike who simply shrugged.

“Woof.” Rahs offered.

“We doubt we shall get used to that. But yes sergeant we shall be fine.” Luna sighed.” Consider this a paid bit of rest for the night.”

“Bark.” Rahs explained holding up two fingers then pointed to the kitchen and the library itself.

“What?”Lodestone questioned.

“He said only two pieces of candy per foal, no costume means no candy, there's snacks and drinks in the fridge and a whole library to look over if there's a lull.” Spike translated.” Also the little box next to the candy has earplugs, you might need those.”

Lodestone frowned looking over at the princess before sighing and reaching up to take off his helmet. The enchantment faded turning his black mane to a fuchsia coloration and his scales and fur becoming a brilliant orange and burnt seinia looking coloration's instead of the black and gray. Despite the brighter coloration he was still massive and intimidating.

“I shall endeavor to deal with this assignment as best I can Princess.” Lodestone grumbled.

“Awesome now that we're all settled, LETS GOOO, Times wasting and we've barely got any candy yet!” Scootaloo whined.

Luna Eclipsed, Part 3

Twilight Gets a Puppy

Season 2
By TDR

Luna Eclipsed,
Part 3

[Ponyville]

Rainbow Dash smirked as she looked down at the crowd below her from her cloud. Pinkie Pie, Rahs, Spike, the Crusaders and Twilight were below her in perfect position. Fluttershy would be hiding and Rarity would probably be asleep. This would be a perfect test for her pranking this year, well perfect test on more than one pony, she had already gottten Applejack earlier and made the farm mare fall into her apple bob tub. She had put together a Shadowbolts costume from the memory of how it looked with Fluttershy's help. Her friend was scary good when it came to sewing, almost on Rarity's level in fact, though she didn't have the drive for it like the fashionista did.

The suit was a bit tighter than she liked, reminding her of some of the older costumes she had worn.

Rainbow Dash frowned, out of the group, the only one she was talking to was Fluttershy. Well and Rahs and Spike, but it wasn't as if she understood the big lug any way without some pony or dragon translating for her

Still a little prank would be the start to making them a bit even. Rainbow Dash was starting to rather miss the interactions they had. She was maddest at Twilight and AJ for what parts they played and what they had said to her, so she almost felt a bit bad for scaring everyone along with Twilight.

Almost.

Rainbow Dash dipped a bit lower with her cloud getting closer to the group bit by bit , staying over them and in the shadows as she approached. She readied the mini thundercloud to spook the lot of them with a thunderous explosion of light and sound. They were near one of the wagons holding a bunch of carved pumpkins that the school had set up earlier in the week. The foals had all carved pumpkins resulting in some rather mangled looking gourds, though she was a bit flattered Scootaloo had tried to carve her face, even though the pumpkin looked more like Tank's head then hers. Sweetiebelle was showing Twilight the one she made.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” A mare's voice quietly stated from near by Dash.

Dash blinked, and lifted her head from the cloud to look around, not seeing any pony in the sky with her. She shook her head thinking she was imaging things.

“Well don't say I didn't warn you.” The voice sounded again with a small chuckle as Rainbow Dash readied the thunder bolt. Once more she paused to look around before shrugging again and striking the cloud, the thunderbolt making the area flash with light as the boom reverberated off the surrounding buildings.

The reaction was just as perfect as she could have predicted.

Pinkie Pie let out a scream,that sounded like a chicken's bawak, of course, and took off like a shot leaving a cloud of feathers in her wake.

The crusaders did much the same, shooting off in random directions, with Spike tearing off after Pinkie Pie like he was chasing a real chicken.

Rahs yelped and dove under the pumpkin cart with a crash and scuttle of claws, the shadows of the cart hid the big scardy fully save the points of light on his ears.

Twilight though, she had jumped at the boom but she didn't run or hide like the others, instead she glanced to where the Cutie Mark Crusaders had run off to and then to Rahs under the cart before her gaze lifted skyward towards Rainbow Dash.

At this point Rainbow Dash realized two things.

The first was that this was NOT Twilight Sparkle.

The second was that Princess Luna's wings were hidden under the fake turtle shell quite well making it an excellent costume.

Oh crap.

“ABORT! ABORT!” Dash shouted her wings fanning rapidly as she sought to climb into the air with her thunder cloud.

Princess Luna's horn glowed, the effect surrounding the cart Rahs was under and the pumpkins in it. A moment later all the Jack o lanterns turned as one to look up at Dash, their flames now a soft blue color as the leering and badly carved faces grinned and shifted before the lot of them took off into the air at her screaming and laughing madly as they shot up at her leaving trails of light behind them as they spiraled into the sky, the blue fire leaking out of their eyes and their mouths as they snapped at her racing after the pegasus mare.

By the time they smashed through the thundercloud, Dash was gone. They barely took a moment to reorient before streaking off after the pegasus quickly gaining ground on her.

Princess Luna sighed and glanced down at Rahs who grumbled as he crawled out from under the cart.

“Was that too much?” Luna questioned, now a bit worried.” They won't hurt her, but there will probably be a mess.”

Rahs shrugged not too concerned about what Dash brought on herself this time, he was more concerned about recovering his dignity after diving under the cart.

“I did warn her.” A Night Guard mare chuckled from the shadows above them.

Prince William Blueblood was not a happy pony. Ponyville was not a small town, though despite that he had covered most of it in the hour since he had left the Sparkle's home. He had seen neither hide nor hair of Rainbow Dash in that time however he had encounted a number of ponies that had fallen victim to her pranks. It seemed this year she was favoring a storm cloud surprise thunder boom, the early warnings gave him what he needed to look for.

He smiled at hearing about her prank this time, recalling in their first encounter her friend had set up a number of tricks in the party before getting caught and making the daring exit.

His parents still whined about all the bathrooms being filled with bubbles that year.

Still he kept his eyes to the sky looking for an out of place cloud and was rewarded instead by nearly getting trampled by a screaming pony dressed as a chicken.

He was starting to think coming here in costume instead of simply tracking her down directly was a bad idea. So far he had nothing to show for it save a lot of walking and getting run over by a giant chicken.

Still he was not ready to give up yet and as if by the will of the gods he was rewarded for his perseverance when his target tore past him in the air above, screaming her head off.

Despite the black costume covering her, the rainbow mane and tail she had was impossible to mistake.

Of course it was also hard to miss the two dozen or so madly laughing blue flamed pumpkins chasing her through the sky.

“Ahh there she is.” Prince smiled before he turned to follow. The feel of the pumpkin's magic was easy to identify and as he raced through the night after her, he made a mental reminder as well to thank his aunt Luna later.

After a short time rounding up the Crusaders and Spike, none of whom had run far, and giving up on finding Pinkie Pie, who had kept running, the group continued along with Spike's plan. After a hour or so of candy raiding Rahs finally decided to bring something up he had noticed about Luna.

“Woof?”

“Hmm? No nothing is wrong.” Princess Luna protested as if to try and wave off the question, only to note Rahs was simply staring at her from behind his half mask, his amber eyes narrowed as he glared at her.

Oddly the look was making her nervous.

“Fine.... Tis all .. this.” Luna gestured with a hoof. “A holiday centered around making our failure into a foals lark. Tis not even any warnings about the dangers of falling to the darkness. Tis little more than a gimmick to sell costumes and candy. We do not approve.”

Luna let out a small sigh. “We were not aware of the celebration the first year, every pony forgot we had no clue what it was and went about setting it up at the castle without explaining the decorations. Moon Dancer explained it when we asked at our next class after the event and we fear that afterward we were ready to let our hooves have a few words with Tia.”

“Bark?” Rahs questioned.

“Indeed that is one reason we have not done anything. Tis one of the favored holidays of foals and we have no desire to cause a scene that would upset that many simply for our own selfish issues with our image. It does not mean however that we enjoy this very much. Particularly when our cursed visage is part of so many of the decorations. Or at least a mockery of such.”

“Ruff?” Rahs smirked.

Luna chuckled a little. “ Yes we do have to agree that taking out our aggression on a pinata in Nightmares likeness would be quite therapeutic. Perhaps it is best that we got out, sulking in our room like we planned would not have been healthy. We shall get over this, but that was not what we consider a good time in our life and to see it used as such gives us mixed feelings on if this is the proper way to recall Nightmare. Still tis a good thing Sweetiebelle wished her 'big sister' to join her this year or we would have never left Canterlot.”

Rahs frowned a little at that, something Luna noticed. “Worry not, we are not attempting to usurp Rarity in Sweetiebelle's heart, but she needs to make an effort as well to win back her little sister. Stalking us from the shadows is not doing much for her case to show she cares for Sweetiebelle.”

Rahs and Princess Luna both turned to look back at the bushes behind them as a mare dressed in what amounted to a black body suit that looked as if it had started as a one piece bikini with a hood attached and black stockings capped in bright blue bands quickly ducked out of sight, the bright blue bunny ears on top of the hood all that was visible sticking out of the bush. Well the ears and a Royal Guard that was following Rarity, looking far less than thrilled at his charges attempts at stealth.

“Bark?” Rahs asked as Luna sighed.

“Our Guard are just good at what they do, Cadence and Tia's use variations of the 'Nothing for you to see here, move along, ' spell. NYSHMA, we think it was called.” Luna smiled turning back as they group.”She is clearly upset by what we are doing, but we do not plan to falter unless she confronts us or wins Sweetiebelle back. The ball as they say is in her court.”

Any further questions were cut off as both of their ears perked at the sound of screaming. Screaming that was getting closer.

The Gathered Guards seemed to appear around the Princess and Rahs,both of whom had moved protectively among the Crusaders.

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,*breath*,AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Rainbow Dash screamed as she tore down the street above them barely pausing as she flew past the group crashing into the bush where Rarity was hiding. She quickly grabbed the mare, likely having seen her when she pranked the group earlier, and launching herself back into the air still screaming. Her voice however was now accompanied by a panicking Rarity who was carried off into the night.

The entourage blinked as one as the scream faded back into the night, heading towards the Carousel Boutique before finally going silent. The Guards assigned the pair grumbed heavily before following after.

“Well that was a thing that happened.” Spike finally offered.

“Wonder what Dash was screaming about?” Scootaloo questioned.

“Where did all these Guards come from?” Sweetiebelle asked.

“Is everything gonna try an stop us from getting candy!?” Applebloom pouted.

Author's Note

While it feels weird to still be back in Halloween seasonal wise after x-mas and the like. I did decided to make this chapter celebrate the new year.

Let's see if any of you can guess how.

Luna Eclipsed Epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy

Season 2
By TDR

Luna Eclipsed
Epilogue

[Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library]

Rahs and Princess Luna narrowed their eyes at the crimson coat clad Big Mac.

Big Mac narrowed his eyes back at the pair over his sunglasses.

The reason for the pair's staring was Twilight Sparkle. The mare was in a interesting stage of undress, smelled like a distillery and was currently wearing Big Mac's costume hat and his fake fangs, which she was using to nibble on his neck. She was also passed out with a death grip around Mac's neck and between nibbles was snoring loud enough to wake the dead as she drooled on the large stallion.

The reason for Big Mac's glare was that while Princess Luna was carrying a passed out Sweetiebelle on her back and Rahs was carrying both Scootaloo and Spike draped over his shoulders. Applebloom was zipping around talking a mile a minute about nothing in particular and showed no signs of slowing down any time soon. Given the others pillow cases were near bursting and Applebloom's only seemed half full it was pretty clear what had happened.

“We were unaware Twilight Sparkle was a drinker.” Luna questioned.

“Eenope.” Big Mac agreed still not entirely certain what happened. Twilight had only tried one cup of Berry's punch. Granted the cup and bowl were both in reinforced mithril, and he had never seen a punch bowl that came with it's own fume hood.

Still he had been amused by her attempt at dancing.

The stare down was interrupted by the front door of the library opening and Lodestone stepped out with the half empty bowl of candy. Applebloom rushed over immediately for a hoof full of it with a nightmare night chant so fast she sounded like she had squeaked.

Big Mac blinked in surprise, having to look up at some pony for once.

The Nocturne Night Guard took note of the others outside, before nodding to Princess Luna.

“I assume mission complete then Princess?” Lodestone questioned.

“Indeed, was there any trouble?” Princess Luna asked.

“Not at all Princess. The mares in this town are quite friendly.” Lodestone smirked thinking on the large number of 'contact me' notes he had been given by mares escorting foals or simply passing by who spotted him.” I believe I understand Comet Trails interest in this post now.”

“ We shall consider it if you request a transfer. It will be good to have more Nox-Cal in the public eye.” Luna smiled knowing full well the sheer number of mares that had probably flirted with him.

“ I do need to point out there were a pair of odd screams, one seemed like two voices going past the library rather fast and the other... well.....” Lodestone shuddered.

“Ah yes … those... We would not worry about that. We heard a number our self, it is Nightmare Night after all. Such things are likely common.” Princess Luna offered.

[Earlier, Carousel Boutique]

Rarity lay back on the ground, her head spinning as she slowly recovered from the impact and the terrifying flight back to her home. Rainbow Dash it seemed had still not learned about doors, and how to open them properly.

“Come on come on.... wake up, this is important.” Rainbow Dash muttered as she practically danced in place darting over to put the front door back into it's frame, before pushing a chair against it to keep it from falling over.

“Rainbow Dash. If this is some sort of prank, I shall be very cross and then I shall then start hitting you with the heaviest thing I can reach and I am unsure when I would stop.” Rarity stated flatly already calculating how much repairing the hinges on her shops door would cost.”If this is payback for the incident with Mare Do Well...... the same thing is going to happen.”

“What!? No, this is super important, and not about that, it's kinda hard to be mad at you for doing what you always do. I'm really only still mad at Twi and Applejack for that. But that's not important right now I need your help.” Rainbow Dash yammered pacing around.

“Really now?” Rarity blinked slowly sitting up as the world stopped spinning.”Well despite that I still wish to apologize for my part in that fiasco. There were certainly other ways we could have used to reign you in but I let the idea of designing a costume get the best of me.”

“Accepted, we cool now? Good, yes, new problem time now....” Rainbow Dash fluttered about not seeming able to keep still.

Rarity blinked as the black clad mare fretted, she really hadn't seen Rainbow Dash like this... well ever. “Well darling I'm not entirely certain why you decided to ask me for help instead of one of the others, but I shall do what I can to assist.”

“That's because this problem is like one of those things you know about. I can't go to Twilight, Fluttershy would pass out at the suggestion, and Applejack's worse than I am at this stuff. You're like, the best bet. I mean I guess I could have asked Rahs but I don't understand a word he says, and I only met Princess Cadence like once.”

“That is not telling me the issue..... unless..... Princess Cadence? Oh dear I see now.... You're flustered!” Rarity grinned, her ears perking up at the idea.” Our little Dashie has a crush on some pony!?!?”

“Errrr. Sorta?” Dash blinked, noting that Rarity was now staring at her in a way that was making her even more nervous.

“Details, I need details!!” Rarity squeed, nearly nose to nose with the pegasus.

“Umm well I was pranking every pony tonight and I thought I was gonna prank the crusaders and the Sparkles , but it turned out it wasn't Twilight, but Luna and she made a whole bunch of jack o lanterns chase me...”

“I thought I smelled pumpkin. Also could you go into a bit more detail, I'm not sure I want just the cliff notes version.” Rarity offered, her magic covering her fainting couch with a sheet to prevent the mess pumpkin soaked fur would make before she pushed the couch under Rainbow Dash with her magic forcing the pacing mare to sit down.” Now lay back, calm down, and explain, I am here to help.”

“Uhhhh” Rainbow Dash fidgeted.

“Go on.” Rarity ordered.

“Right so I'm tearing through Ponyville dodging the things like a boss, getting this epic chase going on taking them out one at a time by making sure I maneuver better than they do and they crash into buildings and everything. I thought I shook them off pulling an inverted cork screw around town hall, but one of them blind sides me and I crash into a hay cart....

[earlier]

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” Rainbow Dash screamed as she tore through town with the flying pumpkins on her hooves. She looked back in a panic at the cackling things before she plows into a hay ride cart and all the gourds chasing her smash into her splattering like pumpkin pies and burying her in the pile of splattered jack o lanterns.

“So I pick myself up, cause it didn't hurt, and this stallion trots up to me and he's all impressed with my flying and dodging those pumpkins but he's all worried cause of that sucker hit and all.”

Prince leaned over the edge of the cart wincing a little at the crashed pegasus.

“Um, are you alright?”

“Blarg.” Rainbow Dash responded.

...” So I hop out and clean myself up a little from that last hit showing I'm still cool and he's got nothing to worry about.....”

Prince lifted the dazed mare out of the cart using his magic to brush off most of the pumpkin guts from her as she tried to regain her composure.

“Seriously, I can help you get to the hospital that was a lot of pumpkins...” Prince offered.

“Wah? Nah nah... I'm good, I walk away from crashes like that all the time....” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof .

“That does not exactly fill me with confidence, that you crash all the time.” Prince smirked.

“That's not what I meant.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she checked her wings to make sure they still worked, stretching to work out some kinks. “Man that level magic is cheating when it comes to pranks. Just a heads up, Don't try to prank the Crusaders or the Sparkles tonight.”

“I had not planned it.” Prince chuckled.

“So about this point, I realize the guy sounds a bit familiar, and I look over and he looks familiar too, well the costume does. I just couldn't place it at first.” Rainbow Dash explained.

“You look familiar for some reason...... I didn't happen to get you with the thunderbolt thing earlier did I?” Rainbow Dash flattened her ears a bit.

“Errr no.” Prince offered.

“Save you from a falling building?”

“No.”

“Paparazzi hunting?”

“No , but I do want to know where you got that license.”

“Yer not a farmer complaining about the weather schedule are you? I keep telling you Fireball makes the schedule, I just run the field team, she deals with the paperwork and planning.” Rainbow Dash sighed.

“A were pony farmer?” Prince smirked looking at his costume.

“I've seen some weird crap this year it could happen.”

“So we get to talking and I can tell he's impressed with my awesomeness, but he keeps bringing up Twilight which is kinda annoying. But then I figured out where I knew him from.”

“ Twilight said you might be out here. I have been looking for you for some time now.”Prince offered.

“Great... what, does the egg head want to make me look bad again?” Dash grumbled.

“I'm afraid I don't follow.” Prince frowned

“Just... don't worry about it, I'm not happy with her right now.” Dash sighed

“Again I apologize, but I simply asked her where to find you I am not here at her behalf.” Prince placated.

“Huh?”

“I've been looking for a mare, whom I now suspect was you, for a number of years now. “Prince smiled. “Ever since you crashed my birthday party that one year.”

“Ummm...”

“At Avianna manor?”

“Errrr”

“In Canterlot?”

“Ah heh heh.”

“ You dressed as Cat Pone and your friend as a Ghost?”

“Sorta familiar....”

“She filled a room full of soap suds and spiked the punch with a farting potion.”

“OH THAT...” Yeah that was pretty sweet.... um I mean that sounds pretty sweet...... if I was there which I wasn't.” Rainbow Dash frowned.” What are you some kinda narc?”

Prince smirked.” No I was just some one you chatted with out side for a bit.”

Rainbow Dash stared a moment before the pieces clicked in her head.” Seriously? Wolfy?”

“Ahh you do remember.... somewhat.” Prince smirked.

“Really and then what happened?” Rarity asked wondering how many details were lost in this clearly abridged telling.

“Well then I asked if he was there for payback and he said no to that, so I asked him what he was there for, and he pulls off his mask and he's this total smoking stallion, not quite pony Rahs hot, but still. And then he tells me he 's been tracking me down to ask me on a date. And I'm like seriously and he's like yes and I'm like no way, and he's like way, and I'm like 'you, want to ask, me, on a date' , and he's like Yes again. and then I panicked and ran away and grabbed you.....” Rainbow Dash rambled.

“ You... ran away from him?” Rarity blinked.” Why, you said he was handsome?”

“Well yeah, kinda funny too and seemed awesome in his own way I guess, even for not being a pegasus.” Rainbow Dash fidgeted.

“So you wanted to accept?”

“Err yeah I guess kinda...”

“But you ran away.” Rarity dead panned. “ Why?”

“Cause I panicked , it freaked me out …..” Rainbow Dash grumbled.

“Seriously? With as promiscuous as pegasi are known to be...”

“Damn it Rarity, I'm not like other pegasi.”

“What?”

“I'm a professional gamer, evoo, unpunched ,cherry, mint, unopened box, nun in training, unicorn whisperer, crotch noob, Nessie, low mileage, unpetted cat, home plate not on the field, brand new douche canoe, maiden, hymenally challenged, new cummer, white wings, Madonna, unbucked, mother of god, negative cockatude, unbuttered muffin, unvarnished paint, V card owner, mint condition, bee less flower, comic convention main lobby.....” Rainbow Dash rambled.

“What?” Rarity blinked.

“ I'm a virgin, I've never even freaking dated!” Rainbow Dash shouted throwing her forelegs into the air.” Happy, I said it.”

“Wait what? But all the innuendo and suggestion and everything you've been doing......”Rarity blinked.” The whole thing with Rahs and Twilight's brother.”

“It's what pegasus DO. We were a warrior race primarily, sex is something that every pegasus gets into pretty quick as a throw back to when we needed to keep breeding to make more soldiers for wars. The reasons gone but the drives still there. All my banter is to keep my image as a regular pegasus.” Rainbow Dash ranted. “I can flirt with Rahs and Shining cause they don't show any interest in me, this guy did and I didn't know what to do about that!?”

“You mean to tell me that had Rahs reacted favorably to your interest you would have freaked out too?” Rarity asked.

“Probably.” Rainbow Dash admitted.

Rarity slowly blinked as Rainbow Dash started to hyperventilate, she was starting to believe she was one of the only one of her friends who did not have some sort of mental issue. She also decided never to bring that up just in case she had one she didn't notice.

“Wait a moment, if all pegasi are like that....” Rarity started.

“YES, even Fluttershy has banged more than me. You happy now with that information, cause that keeps me up at night sometimes that she probably does that little squeak of hers as she's getting it on.” Rainbow Dash growled.

Rarity blinked, then shuddered a little. “ Yes thank you for that mental image , it shall be some time before I am able to look at her properly now.”

“Sorry... I'm just freaking out here.” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“So what did you tell him?”

“Tell him?”

“Yes did you say yes to his offer of a date ?”

“What part of freaked out and flew off screaming did you miss?” Rainbow Dash countered.

“So you flew off and left him there...... did you actually want to date this stallion?” Rarity demanded.

“Well sorta I guess.... He did look good and he seemed pretty cool....” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“Arrrgh, right. Rainbow Dash here is what you are going to do and you are going to do everything I say exactly as I say it do you understand. “ Rarity ordered as she marched up to press her face to Rainbow's
“Ummm” Rainbow Dash blinked sinking back into the couch cushions.

“You are going to fly back to where you left him, you will find this stallion, you will accept his offer of a date and you will schedule it two weeks from now on a Friday.” Rarity ordered.

“Umm what if he has something to do?”Dash asked.

“Then that is his problem and he will likely wish to resceduale, do not allow him to cut into that two week time if the date is further out than that so be it. “ Rarity snapped.

“Why two weeks?” Dash added surprisingly meekly.

“Because that is how long I predict it will take for me to properly ready you for this date, particularly if the thought of it puts you in the state you are in now. Now get up get out there and go back to this stallion and do what I told you.” Rarity ordered lifting Dash up with her magic and straightening out the mare's costume and ruffled feathers.

“Okay yeah I can do that.” Rainbow Dash stated with a sigh.” Go out accept, date is two weeks from now.”

“Right! Do not chicken out Rainbow Dash.” Rarity ordered sliding her front door out of the way and pushing Rainbow Dash out.

“No no, I got this... I need to focus, just do what you said and it's cool...” Dash let out a sigh her wings flaring as she floated up a little bit.

“By the by what is this mystery stallions name?” Rarity asked as she had yet to hear Dash say it.

“No clue.” Rainbow Dash offered.

“You don't even know his name?!?” Rarity growled.”Find that out too!!”

“I mean I knew his name, I've met the guy before I just can't remember what his name was.” Dash muttered. “ He was that guy who let us borrow the THUNDERHEAD when we were dealing with Discord. So I mean I know he's got taste.”

“The thunderhead?” Rarity blinked.

“Yeah the sulky cart , but it's pronounced THUNDERHEAD, not thunderhead.” Dash corrected.

Rarity's left eye started to twitch as she recalled exactly where they had gone for that wagon.

“Prince Blueblood?!?!” Rarity's voice cracked.

“Yeah, that's the name, the dude who lent us the cart, seems I met him on a pranking spree back in Canterlot with G a while back and he's been looking for me since.” Rainbow Dash considered.

“Prince Blueblood..... has been looking for YOU!?!” Rarity's voice had taken on a slightly demonic tone, though Rainbow Dash was still trying to recall everything and didn't notice.

“ You know maybe I can do this... dude was pretty cool back when I talked to him and I wanna let him know how the THUNDERHEAD handled.” Rainbow Dash offered not noticing Rarity's twitching eye had grown to have her whole head having a nervous tick with a few strands of her normally perfect hair springing out.

“Prince... Blueblood..... asked you out.......”Rarity stated, her voice echoing a little as if it was coming from the pits of Tartarus itself.

“Shoot, I need to get back there and let him know I accept and stuff. “ Rainbow Dash continued oblivious to the bomb before her. “ Thanks Rarity, I'll come back and let you know what he said.”

Rainbow Dash flew off , hoping the stallion was where she left him.

Rarity watched her go before stepping back a pace, where she had been standing had four new hoof prints gouged into the floor, as she pushed her broken door against the door frame, her magic flaring briefly, melting the wooden door to the wooden frame.

Turning she took two steps into her home and closed her eyes letting out a small sigh.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open as smoke emerged from her nostrils, her mane and tail flowing into the air billowing around her as if she was in a major wind storm.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.........”

[ Canterlot]

Princess Celestia blinked rising to trot out to her balcony looking out over Canterlot noticing a number of other ponies poking their heads out of windows or emerging outside to see where the scream had come from.

[ Badlands]

The hive fell silent for the first time ever, not a peep or buzz could be heard from any one for at least a minute.

Finally a booming voice echoed across the hive.

“Get back to work, we are running out of time!”

Obeying their queen, the hive resumed it's work after the echoing scream faded.

[Frozen north]

Forthe stopped his ears flattening to his head. The high pitched scream hurting his ears even in his miserable state.

The Diamond Dogs he had convinced to come with him to this wasteland fell over them selves clutching their ears at the noise.

His attempts to cause harm to those in Ponyville had failed due to, of all things, a super hero. The effort was not worth it once Mare Do Well showed up on the scene. Enough Diamond Dogs knew of him now that he could act on their scant prayers and offerings, but it was a pittance to what he could have had if the taint in his subjects wasn't there.

Still the new plan should have some interesting repercussions, and if it worked it would kill off the entire Sparkle line in one fell swoop. And if they died Luna would probably destroy the entire north and fall back to darkness herself or at least raise the ire of the other gods enough to start another war which would have her destroyed or sealed away again as every god thought she was falling back to darkness and acted on it.

At the very least she would suffer, and that was all that mattered to him.

[ Darklands]

Jer'rahd Kaisur snapped his head up looking around at the surrounding wilderness from where the group had made camp.

Starfall frowned gliding down next to him as they glanced back to the others who had been roused by the noise.

“What the heck was that?” Rhede demanded.

“Sounded like the tortured soul of the damned.” Platinum added.

[Andalusian mountains.]

A young drake looked up from where he was scavenging in a cabin as a scream tore through the night. He frowned holding the pipe rifle he had cobbled together as he wondered what the scream was. Granted the spinning pictures frames on the walls didn't help with the confusion and panic he felt.

[Appaloosa]

“Huh what tha heck was that?” Braeburn questioned trying to climb out of bed only for a pair of rather strong hooves to yank him back into the bed.

“Let the sheriff deal with it.” a female stated.

“But I heard a scream...” Braeburn protested.

“ That was earlier. And I warned you I got loud.” she commented as Braeburn blushed.

“Well glad tah know yah enjoyed it Strong Heart.” Braeburn muttered as the Buffalo cow pulled him tighter to her.

[Ponyville]

A wide berth was giving to Carousel Boutique for the rest of the night and much of the next day. No one was brave enough to go find out what the owner of the shop had screamed about, though a few mares would plan to discretely leave a letter in her mail box calling her out on her language. But for the most part no one was foolish enough to get close to the building while the glowing red aura of death surrounded it. Because the foolish didn't last long in Ponyville.

Author's Note

And there is was.

For those not following my other works, special guest appearances by Stories in Stone: Tip of the Scales crew, and Azure from Fallout Equestria; Blue of Scales.

And i hope the scream was worth the wait.

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000

[Sweet Apple Acres., Fall, one week after Nightmare Night.]

“Kinda weird this year.....” Applejack stated off hoof as she gave out another mug of cider.

“Yah mean with that Sparkles fighting over Rahs trying to spend their whole budget on Cider?” Granny Smith asked.

“Nah ah expected that.” Applejack nodded.

“Maybe tha Princesses dressed up in disguises that wouldn't fool a three year old buying cider?” Granny asked.

“Nah they always do that too.” Applejack sighed handing out another mug as Granny rang it up.

“Well then what is it child? Ah ain't gonna keep guessing.” Granny snorted.

“Pinkie and Rainbow Dash ain't here.” Applejack sighed.

“Wasn't that Rainbow Dash ten minutes ago?” Granny Smith asked.

“Nah Rainbow Dash ain't got a beard.” Applejack pointed out.” And Pinkie Pie's still Black Listin herself.”

“Wasn't that Pinkie Pie earlier?” Granny Smith asked.

“Yeah , swhy I sold her water and she left.” Applejack smirked as Grannysmith gave her grand daughter a look wondering if she was fibbing about not seeing Rainbow Dash, it might be the reason she was talking so loud , as ' blue beard the rainbowed' was still nearby.” Kinda hard to apologize fer something when yah can't even find tha one yer supposed to be apologizing to.”

“Ciders dry.....” Big Mac called out.

There was a chorus of groans from the ones still in line and a scream of horror from Rahs who sent both Twilight and Spike flying off him as he let out a dramatic cry of defeat throwing both paws in the air before falling to his knees and pounding the ground in a showy display of anguish.

He was largely ignored save for a small smattering of applause from the crowd.

Applejack hopped up on the stall calling back to the others.” Sorry folks we've run out fer tha day.”

“You always run out!” a voice shouted.

“Sorry , but we done our best to increase production this year.” Applejack replied.

“You say that every year!”

“And every year we git a little more made, yah can't rush perfection.” Applejack countered.

“This is very yummy this year.” Fluttershy muttered from her mug.

“Don't worry folks we'll have more ready fer sale tomorrow.” Applejack placated to more groaning.

A sputtering chiming noise drew everyone's attention as a thing came down the road from out of town. The odd devise seemed to be a steam powered wagon with what might have been a still built onto it
a train's plow was mounted on the front and the garish monstrosity chugged up looking rather fancy in the reds and silvers. The front plow looked to have a podium of sorts on it as if the wide steel cow catcher was designed as a stage.

He massive device chugged to a halt pulling in front of the Cider stand and knocking over one of the fence posts as it came to a halt.

A pair of tall cream colored stallions hopped out of the device. Both of them wore matching white and blue stripped shirts with fair barkers caps and matching red manes and tails. One of them had a red mustache, and seemed to be the only way to tell the pair of unicorns apart. The pair's cutie marks were also ambiguous with a apple with a quarter of it taken out and the other seeming to be said quarter of an apple.

“Do you hear music?” Spike questioned to no one in particular.

“Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town
Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found
Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair
That the key that they need to solve this sad cider shortage you and I will share”

Rahs' ears perked up as he caught the hint of magic in the air coming from the machine, he glanced over to Twilight who was staring at the device as well with a good bit of scrutiny as the pair sang on.

“Woof?”

“Yeah I think so....” Twilight muttered.

“Well you've got opportunity
In this very community
He's Flim
He's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling sales ponies nonpareil”

“Nonpareil?” Spike asked.

“ Having no match or equal; unrivaled.” Twilight explained as she noticed some of the other ponies starting to move as if dancing to the music.

“Nonpareil, and that's exactly the reason why, you see
No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be
where you need to be
And that's a new world, with tons of cider
Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking

More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking”

Blue beard the rainbowed scoffed.”I doubt that...”

Rahs rolled his eyes at that.

“So take this opportunity
In this very community

He's Flim
He's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling sales ponies
Nonpareil”

Rahs blinked as other ponies started singing the chorus. A number of mares were also fawning over the slick looking stallions of course.

“Yep. It's a heart song. Rahs, go get Comet Trail. If they use this as anything more than advertising they can be arrested.”

“Heart song?” Spike questioned.

“Yeah you know what Princess Celestia uses for the gala? It's a pretty potent spell than any pony can cast under the proper circumstances. I mean you've had to notice the random songs that sometimes break out every where.”

“I figured it was just Ponyville weirdness. I don't recall this ever happening in Canterlot beyond the Gala event.” Spike frowned. “ So two questions then? Why aren't all of us affected and why are you worried about it if it happens all the time?”

“Well Rahs isn't affected for obvious reasons, you're a dragon so I expect it doesn't hit you as hard but I did see your tail swinging to the beat there.”

“It's catchy.” Spike shrugged.

“The Apples are the target of the spell so they arn't swept up in it as this mess seems directed at them. As for why I'm not effected is I've got a few basic defense spells already cast on me.” Twilight explained.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“It's Tuesday.”

“Understood.” Spike nodded.

“I suppose by now you're wondering 'bout our peculiar mode of transport
I say, our mode of locomotion
And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider?
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same
But my brother and I have something most unique and superb
Unseen at any time in this big new world
And that's opportunity

Folks, it's the one and only, the biggest and the best
The unbelievable
Unimpeachable
Indispensable
I-can't-believe-able
Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000”

“Nah it's not illegal under section 3 dash GGG. “ Comet Trail offered looking out from under his guard helmet to Twilight. Rahs had found him rather easily as he and the rest of the Guards in town had been patrolling the line and were on high alert given that there was a large gathering and it was Tuesday, everyone was armed tot he teeth and in full gear, including charm resist wards. “Though if they try to do more than just sell something with a heart song it falls under a different category and we can act. I'm hoping this is nothing, because I really don't want to deal with a riot today.“

Comet Trail frowns as a mare one of the brothers was flirting with fainted.

“Or need to deal with a bunch of foal support forms when a mysterious bumper crop of foals pop up.” the Nox -Cal grumbled.

“Oh, we got opportunity
In this very community
Please, Flim, please, Flam, help us out of this jam
With your Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000”

The unmustchioed brother pops up by the Apple family who was staring in annoyance at the great machine.

“Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I
borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spellbindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here?” Flim asked with a smile that would be more at home on a shark.

“Ah suppose, thou ah need to know how many so ah ken....... and he ran off...” Applejack sighed.

“Opportunity, in our community
Ready, Flim?
Ready, Flam?
Let's bing bang zam!

And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider!”

Rahs perked up as the pair shot beams of green magic at the machine the device starting to chug and whirl. He spared a glance back at his sister who was still staring at the machine as well as if trying to understand it from just watching. He glanced back at Applejack who was furiously writing something down on a piece of paper glancing up at a tree that had been cleaned out of apples by the device.

“Cider, cider, cider, cider...”the crowd chanted.

Watch closely, my friends!
The fun begins!

Now, here's where the magic happens.
Right here in this heaving, roiling, cider-press-boiling guts of the very machine,
those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-A,
top-notch, five-star, blow-your-horseshoes-off, one-of-a-kind cider!

Feel free to take a sneak peek!

Now wait, you fellers, hold it!
You went and over-sold it!
I guarantee that what you have there won't compare
For the very most important ingredient
Can't be added or done expedient
And it's quality, friends, Apple Acres' quality and care!”Granny Smith stormed up to them glaring angrily at the pair .

“Why is she singing along while trying to argue with them?” Spike asked.

“She's trying to turn their Heart Song into her own Heart Song by using the same beat and meter to turn the focus around.” Twilight blinked rather impressed. “ I am now even more afraid of her than I was when I started dating Big Mac.”

“Well, Granny, I'm glad you brought that up, my dear,
I say I'm glad you brought that up
You see that we are very picky
when it comes to cider if you'll kindly try a cup

Yes, sir, yes, ma'am, this great machine lets just the very best

So whaddaya say then, Apples?
Care to step into the modern world
And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test?”

Granny Smith took the cup from Flim and frowned sniffing it before dumping it out on the ground with a huff and storming back towards the stall.

“Guess they had a counter ready in case some one did that.” Twilight tapped her chin. “ They are quiet thorough.”

“Cider, cider, cider, cider...” the crowd continued to chant.

“What do you think, folks? Do you see what the Apples can't?
I see it clear as day! I know she does! So does he!
C'mon, Ponyville, you know what I'm talking about!

We're saying you've got
Opportunity
In this very community
He's Flim, he's Flam
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers
Traveling sales ponies nonpareil!

Yeah!”

“I do not see this ending well.” Comet Trail sighed noting the looks most of the Apple family was giving the two sales ponies.

“I'll go warn the Princesses.” Twilight sighed.

Author's Note

Honestly i was gonna do this whole episode in one go, but the song got away from me.

And for those wondering what the cat pun is in the title? National Geographic theorizes that the first cats became domesticated around 4000 years ago.

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000, part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000,
part 2

[Sweet Apple Acres.]

Applejack raised an eyebrow looking at the two brothers after their 'generous' offer.

“So who gets the 75 percent?” Applejack questioned.

“Why us of course. And we'll throw in the magic to power the machine for free.” Flim added.

“Pretty sure we don't need that bit.” Applebloom scoffed as she glanced over to Twilight who was moving around the machine studying it.

Applejack frowned. Something about these two struck her as wrong, a feeling in her gut that bothered her. She was used to slick ponies trying to sell something, the farm got a number of them from time to time, and a whole glut more after being declared as a heritage site.

“Lemmi have a word with tha family.” Applejack stated and moved over to huddle with the other Apples. There was a bit of hushed conversation as one of the four kept looking up to either glance at the machine or the brothers. After a moment of conversation the group breaks.

“Well I know how we tend tah need tha cider sales tah git through tha winter. With yer deal we'd lose Sweet Apple Acres if we agreed to that.” Applejack sighed.” Well we would lose it if'n we didn't have a influx of funds from being a heritage site.”

Flim opened his mouth about to say something though Applejack shoved a Apple into it, shutting him up.

“We'll go 75 25 , but you get tha 25. Yer machines useless without our apples, and we've been making cider without one of them things fer so long it ain't any fur off mai leg if we don't use it.” Applejack stated.

“60, 40 you get the 40.” Flam offered.

“90, 10. You git the ten.” Applejack countered.

“That's not how negotiations work...” Flim frowned.

“All that things gonna do is give us some time tah relax we didn't have. And Apples ain't afraid of no hard work.” Granny Smith snorted. “Yah ain't selling anything we need, just something we might want.”

“I see. Negotiations are clearly not going well. Perhaps something else. A wager then?” Flim grinned.” I mean if you're not afraid of a little competition?”

Applejack blinked, her eyes narrowing.” Whatcha got?”

“Our wondrous machine against your little family. Which can produce more cider of a better quality fastest.” Flam added.

“If we win 90, 10, the ten for you.” Flim continued.

“And if we win, we'll take yer little contraption there.” Big Mac spoke up suddenly looking down at the pair.

“Oof, confident aren't you?” Flim flinched.

“Nope, jus you owe us fer a fence post as well as hundred an thirty apples. “ Big Mac stated calmly.

“There's no way there were a hundred and thirty apples on that tree, our hoppers barely filled.” Flam pointed out.

“Nope only about 67 apples, but yer machine also broke a couple of branches and sucked up all tha budding flowers, this orchard tends tah have two late production periods which is why we use um fer cider cause it's too late tah pick and store um all fer tha winter. “ Big Mac explained.” Yah sucked up tha future apples tha tree could have too.”

“How would you even know that?” Flam demanded.

“Mac's got something of an eidetic memory when it comes to numbers. He's never off by more'n a few and that's usually due to something throwing off his count. If he says there was a hundred and thirty coming off that tree then there was sure as shooting a hundred and thirty.” Granny Smith stated. “ Course he probably only wants that thing to impress his mare friend...”

“If yah win we can take tha bill off tha top, which yah prolly won't even notice, but if yah lose ah don't think yah got enough on yah tah pay fer than many apples, and tha fence.” Big Mac stated.” So we get tha cider squeezy.”

Flim and Flam both duck off into a huddle questioning a few things among themselves. After a bit of discussion they came back. This was less of a easy mark than they thought, but they had already counted how much Cider the Apples had made today and knew the machine would blow that number of barrels away by a long shot. The bet was only brought up due to talking with some towns ponies and finding one bearded pegasus who spoke at length and with great gusto about how stubborn and hard headed the Apples tended to be.

“That is acceptable.” Flim stated. Though with a little less certainty than before.

“Do we have a deal?” Flam asked.

“Hey, ken we ask some of our other family tah help, ah got homework tah do.” Applebloom chimed in.” School work ain't gonna wait fer a contest.”

“Sure why not........” Flim agreed with a shrug. More ponies would cause problems if not well organized. They had seen the Apples cider system, and while efficient for it's basicness, it would take more than what they had set up to beat the machine.

It was then after he agreed that Flim noticed that all four of the Apples were suddenly smiling rather wide. Creepily so.

“Umm” Flam and Flim blinked.

“Ken ah tell um what they agreed to? Ken ah?” Applebloom hopped around with a grin.

“Nah you gave um tha length a rope, let some one else kick tha stool out.” Applejack chuckled.

“See here's tha thing young fellas, given that yah rolled up here and tried tah start something with us with yer fancy doodad and yah worked tah turn every pony against us with yer little song.” Granny Smith smirked.” We wasn't ever planning on going easy on yah. See this is here is an Equestrian Heritage site. It was granted to the family by Princess Celestia herself and over the course of years tha Princess has, on one or two occasions, become family through marriage adoption, or some other interactions that ain't fer young ears.”

“Wha......” Flim stammered.

“Yeah so one of tha members of family we could call on, and she owes me a favor or two any way fer Discord and Nightmare Moon, is Princess Celestia.” Applejack smirked. “Now tha second thing is my big brother here is dating that mare over there.”

The pair look to where Applejack was pointing at the purple unicorn mare who was laying under the machine,jotting down notes as a small purple dragon looked on in annoyance.

“That's Twilight Sparkle. She and her brothers have been adopted by Princess Luna, and her eldest brother's dating Princess Cadence. “ Applejack continued.

Wha....” Flim and Flam both paled.

“So what yah fine gents, who came up in here like yah already owned tha place have done is, agreed tah a deal tah beat a family who ken call on all three of the Princesses tah come help.” Applejack smirked.

“Oh and Spike's Mom's tha dragon god.” Applebloom offered. “So we ken get a buncha dragons in here too.”

Every pony looked at Applebloom.

“What now?” Applejack raised an eyebrow the statement not seeming like a lie. “Ah thought Bleu said she knew who they was, not that she was one.”

“Yeah that's what she said, but Princess Celestia told Spike he was one of Bleu's eggs because she practically admitted it over tea one time with Princess Celestia. That and she was mad at Bleu cause she ate a couple of that castle's chandeliers on tha way out.”Applebloom rambled. ”Least that's what Spike told me.”

“Huh.... “ Applejack considered. ”Oh before ya'll opt to call mai bluff. Aside from what Apple bloom said, and ah don't think she's fibbing, all of that's that truth. Ah mean it is pretty common knowledge now that ah'm tha Element of Honesty. Lying don't sit well with me.”

Flim and Flam were visibly sweating now.

“Perhaps we might, come to a .. more mutually beneficial arraignment.” Flim offered.

“And not do tha wager?” Applejack asked with a grin.

“Umm yes.” Flam stated.

“Well yah did say negotiations were failing and we did agree to all this, so ah figure ah'llah'll give a last chance fer a negotiation, though if ah don't like it , ah'll take tha wager.” Applejack responded.

“Certainly madam.” Flim and Flam chimed up.

“Figured you'd see it our way.” Granny cackled.

[ The Next Day Sweet Apple Acres ]

Twilight took a sip of her cider.” I can taste the difference, but I've got to have both practically at the same time to do so.”

“Yup, it ain't bad in truth,but some folks ken tell and we got three types a barrels with it now. One with the full machine's product, one with just Apple power, and one that's mixed. Interesting blend that last one. A bit more tart than ah expected.” Applejack nodded. “Still this allows us to sell tha machine and mixed cider a bit cheaper and save tha good stuff fer those who know tha difference.” Applejack grinned leaning back on the chair at the small table the two were sitting at. “Plus it keeps Rahs outta most of it.”

“Well the brothers magic can't help but blend with the cider since they are powering the machine to make it.” Twilight offered.” Rahs says Flim's magic tastes like orange juice, while Flam's tastes like mint toothpaste.”

“Blargh.” Applejack agreed. “ That explains why he ran off to start stuffing his mouth with grass.”

“So what happened any way? I get that the two of them are working for you now, but other than that.” Twilight questioned looking up at the line that was slowly getting smaller as Big Mac dumped another bushel of apples into the machines hopper.

“Well they tried a bit of fancy talk tah wheedle a bad deal outta us, but it back fired on um pretty big. If'n they'd set up an honest trade right off instead of trying tah pull one over on us it'd been better for um. Ah could feel they was up tah something and ah was on guard fer that. Got that others in on it too pretty quick. Applebloom was almost too excited about tha machine tah help, but she pulled through.“Applejack explained. “Didn't take much to reign um in after finding out just what sorta favors we ken call in from family.”

“Mmmm I can think of a number of things that could be done. Speaking of one of them, Princess Celestia still owe you fifty bits for that cask of cider you sent to her?” Twilight nodded.

“Nah. A fine mustached gentle pony offered tah pay fer that.” Applejack grinned as Twilight face hooved realizing who she was talking about. “But any way we sweetened the deal fer them, by dropping tha cost of tha apples they used and paying out thirty percent of profits from all tha sales rather than just theirs.”

"No offense Applejack , but you never struck me as the sneaky type. Yet you took on two shysters and got them to do some honest work." Twilight commented.

"None taken, Granny's tha wily one, but it ain't like ah can't hang with that business ponies. been dealing with Filthy fer years already, and since we got a bit ah extra money coming in ah been taking some send away courses in business. " Applejack explained. "Working on a business Doctorate from tha same place Princess Luna said Dr. Choppy got his."

"Changing the subject before anything more about that axe ever comes up." Twilight growled.

"Go ahead." Applejack smirked.

“Well that machine is a wonder of modern technology. It doesn't strike me as something the two of them could build, particularly after they tried to pull that' don't worry your pretty little head' bull crap when I asked questions about it. Given that they were looking to try and pull a fast one for a get rich quick trick, rather than patent it and sell the designs to farms every where, it may very well be stolen.” Twilight frowned. “More likely they scammed some pony else, Comet Trail is looking into it.”

“Well hope who ever really owns it won't mind us using it. Least fer a bit.” Applejack stated. “Them two ain't thrilled with all this, but they liked the alternative a whole lot less.”

Twilight nodded as she took another sip. “Is there a reason that you wanted me to sit and talk with you. I don't mind, but you were kind of insistent.”

“Yeah, cause ah think this nonsense has gone on long enough.” Applejack sighed draining her mug and looked up as Rahs stormed over to them carrying a struggling Blue Beard the Rainbowed with him. The bearded pegasus was saying quite a number of things that were not safe for foals to hear.

Rahs put the angry pegasus down with a growl.

“Bork.” Rahs snaped.

“What?” Blue Beard The Rainbow questioned.

“He said you're not fooling any one Rainbow Dash.” Twilight stated realizing what Applejack was doing.” So please sit down.”

The bearded mare huffed and pulled off her beard taking a seat.

“Thanks Rahs, Mac's got that cask for you.” Applejack offered.

“You should have done this months ago.”

“Kinda hard to when yah can't find her.” Applejack stated as Rahs left. The trio stared at each other a moment before Rainbow Dash started to get up only to stop as Applejack reached under the table and slapped a large cider cask on it.”Rarity says it's me an Twi you got tha most issue with. Ah git that yer mad, but ain't nothing gonna change if yah keep avoiding us. So yah sit there, let us say our piece. Tha Ciders yers if yah accept the apology or not.”

“So what do you say Rainbow?” Twilight asked with a small exhale.” You willing to let us talk?”

Author's Note

And thus The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 4000 chapter comes to a close. Not with a ' I ANI'T LEARNED A THING.' but with a bit of a deal and a hopeful reconsiliation of friends.

It may seem like a cliff hanger but it's not, it happens, i just didn't want to write out the pairs heart felt apologies becuase of three reasons.
1. It would have made this story even longer.
2. I'm not sure i would have put the words properly.
and 3. I'm a lazy rabbit.

And thus ends the fall quarter of this season. Next.

Winter is coming.....

Caspian, and weep, Prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Caspian, and weep,
Prologue

[Ponyville, winter. The day after the start of cider season, Wednesday]

“Rainbow Dash! There you are.” Rarity exclaimed, her magic flaring as it encircled the blue pegasus mare who was walking along looking some what pensive with a fair sized cask held between her wings.

“What? Shards Rarity what!?” Rainbow Dash flailed grabbing the cask before it fell.”Don't shake this I want the cider not just the foam!”

Rarity ignored her carrying the mare and her cask along with a large collection of bags full of fabric.

“What do you mean what!?” Rarity scoffed. “I have been looking for you all week. You're running out of time for me to coach you.”

“Coach me? “ Rainbow Dash questioned. “On what?”

“What do you mean on what? You came to me for help preparing you for a date, and despite my great personal anguish and four tubs of mint chocolate chip ice cream, I shall do what you asked because I am your friend. Thus I am helping you prepare for your date with Prince Blueblood.”

“That's still nearly two weeks away.” Rainbow Dash protested.

“Dash, it is Wednesday. Your date is THIS Saturday.” Rarity corrected.

“What? Seriously? A week and a half is gone already!!? It only felt like three, four days tops since I agreed to that! “ Rainbow Dash shouted clearly starting to panic.” I still freaking smell like pumpkins.”

“Yes well your personal hygiene is something we are going to address as well as to make you out to be a proper lady fit for a noble.” Rarity stated dragging Rainbow Dash into her shop. “ I shall not rest until you are perfectly ready to sweep him off his hooves as it were or he shall die trying.”

“Don't you mean we'll die trying?” Dash asked.

“No.”

[ Golden Oaks library Thursday.]

Twilight Sparkle sat at the table, her hooves steepled under her nose as she considered what was asked of her. The purple mare was in shadow as standing on one side of her blocking the light was her 'bigger' brother Rahs Sparkle. He stood with his arms crossed, wearing a burgundy long coat with black trim. His ears were perked as he regarded the one at the end of the table the small glowing points of light at the tip making his feline amber eyes glimmer.

Her little brother, Spike Sparkle, sat in the chair next to her. He too had his arms crossed over his chest and was kicked back in his chair with his feet up on the table and a pair of sunglasses that seemed to reflect more light than they should, covering his eyes.

She'd yell at him later about his feet being on the table, but this was more important.

“Are you sure you want us to do this. Things tend to get a little.... interesting when we're put to a task you know.” Twilight explained.

“Given who and what I'm up against, you are the only ones I can reasonably turn to. I would not bother you if this was something I could deal with myself.” The pony at the other end of the table stated. “ This has to be perfect, I expect I will only have this one chance.”

Twilight sat back with a sigh, her brothers looked to her curiously before turning to look back at the one at the other end of the table.

“I know what the three of you can do working together. It's the only thing that may stand a chance.” the stallion sighed.

“Alright. Ill do it because you're both friends of mine.”

“Woof.” Rahs agreed.

“Rahs wants his usual fee of a bit of magic.” Twilight added.

“I want a Neightendo.” Spike added.

“Easily done.” the stallion chuckled.

“Then we'd best get to work.” Twilight stated as Rahs slid a folder across the table to the stallion.”This is all the new information I've got as well as the information I didn't send you before as I didn't think it would be relevant.”

“Because you didn't realize what I was going to do at the time.”

“No, had I known we would have helped sooner.” Twilight sighed, as Rahs and Spike nodded.

“Yes, well, it was something I truly didn't want to get out. And if you had started investigating specifically, some one would have noticed.”

“True.” Twilight nodded.”I want the full plans for what you are going to do so I can plan.”

“It's not that different than our first encounter, only everything will be here in Ponyville.” the stallion smirked.

“So a show then dinner. “Twilight considered.” I will warn you, Ponyville just got a cinema, so I don't know how it is yet. But the dinner should be easy I've made a list of places Rainbow Dash likes to eat in there. Reservations have been set at all of them already and tickets for the showing of a action show she might like are in the folder.”

“I hope you know what you're doing Prince.”

“It should be fine. I mean after all with you three to keep the paparazzi at bay and to make sure none of the princesses get involved, this should be perfect.” Prince Blueblood smiled.

“No plan survives first contact with the enemy.” Spike offered sagely. “But, they don't often survive first contact with us either.”

Author's Note

okay two things.

First is the title pun. Caspian Tigers were declared extinct in the late 70s early 60s. So Caspian, and weep as a tragic thing.

Second was this entire chapter was some what rushed , just for Rainbow Dash's comment about it only feeling like it was 4 days ago since she was asked out. Because that's how long ago i posted the Luna eclipsed epilogue.

yes this chapter was split up and short just for that joke.

I do not apologize.

Caspian and weep Part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Caspian and weep
Part 2

[Ponyville Library, Friday morning]

“Does everyone have their squad assignments?” Twilight asked, looking out at the crowd surrounding the table over a pair of sunglasses perched on her nose.

There were a number of nods and sounds of agreement.

“Right, now for the tasks. Rahs is heading Bravo team. Bravos job is to keep the paparazzi and general public away from the date. With Rainbow Dash's tendency to prank ponies, I wouldn't put it past some of the locals to try and target her while she's distracted.”

Twilight pointed a hoof over to Rahs who was wearing a black dress tuxedo with sunglasses of his own. Fluttershy was standing next to him dressed the same, and on her back was a little white rabbit also in a tux. Rahs took the moment to offer a fist bump, which was returned by Angel Bunny.

“Team Charlie will be headed by Spike. Their job is to help deal with the Princesses when they inevitably arrive for this. Spike will also be working as a messenger between the teams.” Twilight continued.

Spike smiled from where he stood adjusting his sunglasses. Shining Armor stood behind him looking a little worried, though Lyra, Bon Bon, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Pinkie Pie were also clustered around the drake.

“Team Delta is headed by Major Comet Trail. While not exactly a team working with us, the Guard will be around to make sure this doesn't get out of hoof, and no one goes too far. Also to pull the wounded out when that happens.” Twilight continued.

“Wait wounded!?!?” Comet Trail looked to Twilight with a bit of worry shared by the rest of the Guards in the room.

“Paparazzi hunters.” Twilight pointed out gesturing to Rahs' team.

“Shards...” Comet Trail muttered under his breath before turning to one of the other Guards. “Go tell the hospital to be on high alert tomorrow night.”

“Already done.” Twilight offered. “Nurse Red Heart it heading team Echo. Team Foxtrot is Princess Luna. She is going to be keeping Equestria running through all this, though she only agreed to that if we provided her with the details of Saturday, not of the date, but of what happened to her sister and niece.”

Spike smiled wider.

“I'm heading Alpha team, our job is to make sure everything goes smoothly from the date standpoint, no traffic, no issues in the theater, nothing out of stock at the restaurant. We are also going to be helping any one else who needs it on other teams.”

Behind Twilight stood Applejack and Big Mac, as well as Moon Dancer, Sunburst, and the BlueBlood family butler, Wooster.

“Now then for the last minute preparations. Applejack, Fluttershy, Moon Dancer, and I are going to talk with Prince to make sure he's ready for Rainbow Dash. Twilight pointed out.” Rahs, Spike, and Mr. Wooster will go see that Rarity isn't going over board.”

“You'll never get away with this!” a voice shouted from the back of the library.

“Oh lovely she got her gag off.” Twilight sighed as the crowd parted showing a trio of ponies in coral and copper colored armor bound together with a great deal of rope, and six blue and gold armored ponies tied up near them as well,all gagged save the mare who was speaking. The Heart Breakers and the Cake Hunters that had been assigned to watch the Element Bearers and Sparkles.

“You are interfering with guard business and that's illegal under section 6 of the expansion treaty......” the guard rambled.

“Okay first off, section 5 of the expansion treaty, goes on for a number of chapters about how it's illegal for Guards and nobles to spy on the common ponies. Which you lot have been doing for a few months now. If Princess Luna hadn't pointed out the spell you were using to Rahs you still would have been doing it.”

“Also according to your roster assignments all of you are off duty this week and weekend. There for you are not acting in Guard interests. It can be assumed from that you are acting on personal interests while spying on my family and their friends.” Shining Armor spoke up in a tone that made all the other Guards shudder and the bound ones eyes grow wider with each syllable. He was the highest ranked pony in the room after all. “There are a whole lot of things that I can do to you lot with just that little bit of information.”

“But.. Princess Cadence ordered us to this assignment .Sir.” The one without a gag stated fearfully.

“Which is why nothings going to happen to you aside from you being taken out of the equation. So long as you remain good little Guards and stay out of our way.....” Twilight added letting the implied threat trail off before picking it up again. “Other wise either Shiny gets you. Or I can let Rahs have you as he has a permit. Personally I think Shiny's punishment would be easier on you as Rahs just needs an audience for a one pony show he wrote for the stage. You might get assigned to the frozen north with one, but that would be better than the mind numbing ,claw your own ears off, stage play Rahs wrote.”

Twilight smirked as Rahs copied a Griffonesse gesture of disapproval and pointed the digit her way.

[Friday afternoon, Canterlot, Avianna Manor]

Fluttershy, Applejack, Moon Dancer, and Twilight Sparkle looked at Prince Blueblood their heads tilted the same way in confusion.

“Too much?” Prince sighed

The white stallion was dressed in what could be described as 'walking billboard' style.

He had on a brand new hoof ball jersey with the Cloudsdale Hawks logo on it, a ball cap with the Wonderbolts logo on it and a number of other gaudy bits of jewelry designed around things that Rainbow Dash liked that had been in the folder.

“I'll say, Dash don't even like tha Hawks, she's been a fan of tha Griffonston Shrikes fer as long as I known her” Applejack added.

“Oh … I think I can get that jersey fairly quickly....” Prince stated nervously.

“I think girls... we have our work cut out for us.” Moon Dancer sighed.

[Ponyville, Carousel Boutique]

“ I can't move...” Rainbow Dash growled from under a massive layer of frills and lace.

“It will be fine darling we'll just have to adjust a little.” Rarity crooned. “ Now then do you remember what I told you about the salad fork?”

The front door was suddenly kicked in, the heavy oak swinging open hard on it's new reinforced hinges. Rahs lowered his leg stepping forward only for the door to hit the wall at the end of it's swing and rocket back smashing the moon dog in the face and sending him tumbling back into the street.

“Dude I told you it was unlocked!!” Spike shouted pushing the door open at a more reasonable pace as Rahs rolled around on the street clutching his nose.” You're a team leader not a siege leader.”

“Bork.”

“Yeah yeah, it's no ponies fault but your own, suck it up.” Spike taunted.

“I say will he be alright?” An older stallion with Spike asked looking back at Rahs. The stallion had an impeccable mane and tail cut to his faded red hair, and his graying mane still looked rather impressive even with the black and white mottled pattern it might have once been starting to blend together as he aged. The fine suit with tails hid his cutie mark, though it was fairly clear he had some sort of rich and noble bearing which drew Rarity's attention away from Rainbow Dash.

“Errr I am sorry sir but my shop is closed for the day....despite the intent of certain individuals who do not know how to knock.” Rarity glared at Rahs who repeated the Griffonesse gesture at her from where he was on the ground.

“My name is Percival Wooster ma'am, ex-adventurer, and butler to the Blueblood family. I answer the door, I clean up the estate, and I take out the trash. And I try to keep some of master Prince's ideas under control. Given that this is the most normal thing he has done in the last ten years, I am here to make sure everything goes off smoothly.“ Wooster offered. “Now that that is said I am to understand that you have been assisting a one Miss Rainbow Dash in preparing for a rather high class date with Prince?”

“Attempting to, yes.” Rarity sighed. “It is a bit of a uphill struggle.”

“I see and where is Miss Dash at the moment?”Wooster smiled.” I am happy to offer my assistance in this matter.”

Rarity blinked and pointed to what looked to be a massive ball of lace standing on a riser in the center of the room.

Wooster and Spike blinked just able to see Rainbow Dash's nose and hooves poking out of the mass of cloth and silk.

“Rainbow Dash?” Spike asked before starting to crack up and falling over laughing.

“Spike if I could move I would be punching you so hard right now.” Rainbow Dash growled.

“Oh calm down, this isn't what you shall be wearing, I'm rushed for time so I started with a Prench Bustle and I've been working from there with arraignments and such. The finished product won't look anything like this.” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Not to ruin your work ma'am, but I should point out that the young master has never been a fan of the ball scene. In fact due to his issues with suitors he quite likely loathes it.” Wooster added. “If you do not mind suggestions I can assist you in creating something that is more to his taste.”

“Hmm, an bit of inside information would help out immensely sir. Very well I accept, though I am loathe to start over from scratch once more, it will give me more time to prepare her with proper etiquette.” Rarity agreed.

“Actually ma'am I would suggest throwing that out too, a few pointers will not be bad, but we shall not be needing to know where proper placement of silverware is just yet.”Wooster commented.”

“Well alright, shall we get started then? We still need to do something about her mane....” Rarity sighed.” And her date is tomorrow.....”

[Canterlot]

Princess Cadence looked over her war room. The 'secret tunnel' had been filled in with several tons of cement, though some how Luna and Celestia still found their way down here from time to time. She was considering moving it some where else in fact. All of the strings and images had been removed from the display before her. A picture of Prince Blue Blood and a picture of Rainbow Dash were all that was on the board with one bit white string and one bit of black string running between them. Interest and no clue the other existed. After Saturday she could change that to another color. She really hoped it would be pink.

But that was neither here nor there.

Prince Blueblood had finally found 'her' and there was no way Cadence was going to miss this.

Princess Celestia frowned as she made her way through the halls of Canterlot.

Her nephew had found 'her' and was prepping for a date. The 'her' in this instance was the issue.

Twilight wrote often about Rainbow Dash as of late and it worried Celestia that some one with such a large ego and penchant for pranks might be dating her nephew.

Not that she was against it, but Prince had been hurt a number of times already and if this turned out to be a prank she would be most cross that he was hurt again after all this time.

As such she had prepped to make her way to Ponyville to make sure that their date went well.

There was no way Celestia was going to miss this.

Princess Luna wiggled a bit deeper into her plush bed , her game controller floating before her as she tapped in a sequence of buttons that made her armored space bounty hunter punt the electric rat off the edge of a cliff. The projection on the wall drew her attention, though she could hear her sister pacing the halls.

The note from Twilight clued her in on the situation, though she had been sure to make sure Tia didn't see the note.

There was going to be a great deal going on in Ponyville tomorrow and there was no way Luna was going to go any where near it.

Author's Note

Set up is complete.

Lets get this show on the road.

Caspian and Weep, Part Radish

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
by TDR

Caspian and Weep
Part Radish

[ Stop that]

[ No]

[Ponyville, Saturday]

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhHHHHH, ow” Rainbow Dash wailed until Spike kicked her in the leg.

“ Thank you Spikey. Now are you done?” Rarity asked with a sigh.” Prince should be here any minute and we really don't want him to hear you screaming in panic.”

“I know, but I'm not good at this froo froo stuff. And I thought you were gonna make me a simpler dress!” Rainbow Dash protested.” And isn't white like bad luck or something or at least putting forth context that I really didn't want brought up?”

“By the stars. It's cream with light bronzed trim, it is not virginal white!” Rarity growled.

The pegasus in question wore a simple dress that covered her flank, and thanks to Wooster's input clung to her form enough to show off her tone form, something he recalled Prince bringing up a few times in the description of his mystery mare. Her mane and tail had been evened out and adjusted in a some what smoother cut. She grudgingly allowed a few mane extensions to be put in to make sure it stayed more or less even at least, though this required the heroic sacrifice of a number of extension kits that then had to be modified and reworked with her multi colored hair.

Through it all Spike and Rahs stayed around making sure to add their two bits every so often. The pair surprisingly offering good advice from time to time. Rarity found it odd that Rahs was familiar with some of the older designs she had, but Spike pointed out knowledge of costume was part of the theater.

The hair do was the last thing to be done and in the end every one but Rainbow Dash was satisfied with the result.

“Not bad. There was a surprising amount of proper mare to work with under all that. Though I still cannot get rid of the smell of pumpkins.” Rarity sighed.

“Ehh it's a naturey sort of fragrance. It's not bad, just odd. It'll be fine.” Spike shrugged.

“Indeed. I think perhaps we have done all we can and it is now time for Miss Dash and Master Prince to see if they actually like each other.”” Wooster added.

“Oh crap, what do I do what do I do!!? What tha heck do I even talk about?” Rainbow Dash pranced in place.

“To be honest , at this point I am going to say I have no idea.” Rarity sighed. “ Every time I think I might know what he might want I am proven wrong and therefore I am not going to get involved in this discussion.”

“I dunno just talk about what you like, I mean there's that cart thing you were excited for, that's a start. “ Spike shrugged.

“Woof.” Rahs added.

“Right, you're going to see a movie first. Worst comes to worst talk about that.” Spike translated.

“Miss Dash simply relax and be yourself. The goal of a date is to enjoy it and see if you and the one you are on a date with are compatible romantically. You already have the advantage in he is interested in you.” Wooster considered. “ I would advise you not to crow on your accomplishments too much. But I dare say I'm not sure if that is what he wants. If he speaks of his..... 'adventures' I doubt there will be fault for you doing the same. You be you, is the best I can offer.”

“Just remember to chew with your mouth closed and wait until after you swallow before trying to talk.” Rarity added.

“Bork.” Rahs grinned.

“Protection? Make sure she has protection from what?” Spike questioned as Wooster and Rarity glared at the Moon Dog.

“Pfft, yeah, not on the first date.” Dash chuckled.” Ooooo kay ready as I am every gonna be.”

“That is good because I believe the carriage just pulled up.” Rarity stated looking out the window.

“Craaaap....” Dash whined.

[Inside the carriage]

“Alright, be yourself, and be careful with boasting of anything. We just got over a rather large kerfuffle with that and it might still be a sore spot.” Twilight explained.” Bringing up that wing suit thing of yours right off the bat might not be good, save it for later.”

Moon Dancer and Fluttershy were double checking over Prince, the stallion looking more or less like he always did with immaculate mane, tail, and a suit. They had talked him into one that didn't cost as much as Ponyville's monthly disaster budget. Applejack had fainted when told the price and even Twilight felt woozy. There was money and then there was TOO much money.

“Right we got a couple of tha local Guards pulling tha carriage, this fancy enclosed thing'll give yah privacy tah talk.” Applejack added. “Twi ah'm headed out tah git in position. Jus relax there Prince, Dash ain't that complicated of a mare. All else fails yah ken talk about tha show or that shiny wagon thing a yours.”

Applejack nodded hopping out of the carriage as it rolled down the path towards Carousel Boutique.

“The goal is to find some common ground. From what I've heard about Rainbow Dash from Twilight, you two have plenty of that.” Moon Dancer smirked vanishing in a flash of light as she teleported out of the carriage as well as it turned a side street.

“Umm try to have fun. And if you hurt her, they will never find all of your body.” Fluttershy offered before hopping out to flutter away from the carriage.

Prince blinked looking at Twilight who either hadn't heard her friend or was trying to forget she heard it.

“Right. Just do what you did during our date and it'll be fine. Still the less tense you are the better. Spike says Dash is nervous too.” Twilight smirked.” All you two have to do is enjoy yourself, the rest of it is our job.”

“Thank you for this Twilight....” Prince managed.

“Don't mention it. What are friends for if not setting up awkward dates that require them to plot against two deities, and an entire town, all while managing to do it with just enough chaos for it to work and not wake up an irate chimeric god again.” Twilight stated before smirking far more evilly than Prince liked. “Besides, this could be fun. So you have fun too.”

“Yes alright.” Prince let out a sigh to try to calm himself.” I shall try to remain calm after what you just said and the fact that this a chance to properly meet the only mare who has captivated my interest in the last few years. And that I have this one chance not to blow it. Particularly with all that against me, it seems a million to one chance of this working out.”

“Don't worry, a million to one chances happen nine times out of ten. Statistically.” Twilight offered.

“That doesn't make sense.” Prince protested.

“Pinkie said it.” Twilight shrugged.

“That doesn't help.” Prince smirked.

“And this is my stop, have fun.” Twilight grinned vanishing in a pop of magic.

The carriage rolled up in front of Carousel Boutique.

Inside of the carriage , Prince took a last deep breath to calm himself and stepped out.

Inside of Carousel Boutique Rainbow Dash took a last deep breath and stepped out of the door.

Greetings were shared, minor compliments were offered from hesitant mouths and the pair both entered the carriage to head to the theater.

Plunked perfectly on a pearl painted palanquin parparat, a pink pony princess plot perched.

Princess Cadence regarded the pairs words with a small frown. This would not do, the pair of them had such potential, and as the goddess of love she was going to make sure it blossomed properly.

As the carriage started up again she happened to glance over and spot the three younger Sparkle siblings with rather large grins on their faces as they watched the carriage go by. They must have known who was in the carriage, no surprise there.

Still Cadence could help but think the trio were looking at her atop the carriage, but surely they couldn't see past her spell, particularly not with those ridiculous sunglasses they were all wearing.

Author's Note

And thus the date begins

Caspian and Weep, Part Uno

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Caspian and Weep,

Part Uno

[Stop that, that doesn't even make sense..... Don't you say it!]

[ Where's....]

[ Don't....]

[ ….the fun of making sense?]

[ Gah]

[ Ponyville]

It was a beautiful evening in Ponyville, the sun was just starting to dip down towards the horizon, bird song was everywhere in the trees, and the first harsh winds of winter had yet to come, leaving the air crisp cool and some what refreshing.

At first glance the new comers to town would think this was a perfect end to a quiet Saturday.

The locals however knew better.

The Flower Trio had already retreated to their basement fallout shelter. Mayor Mare already had all the damage forms filled out and all that needed to be added was what was destroyed, how, and by who. Filthy Rich was preparing a sale to help with the repairs that would be needed. The entire hospital was on high alert and the full compliment of Guards from the newly refurbished and rebuilt Guard post was patrolling the streets.

Princess Celestia might have noticed something odd as she moved down the street, perhaps she might have seen the amount of Guards wearing sunglasses who seemed to notice her. Or perhaps even the collection of civilians darting about wearing the same sort of sunglasses. Maybe even the collection of birds and small animals that were following her in the trees watching her. At the moment however, she was too focused on getting to a position where she could keep an eye on Prince Blueblood. She had managed to refine her scrying spells so that he wouldn't notice now, but he had skipped out before she could cast any of them on him.

Perhaps she was being a bit over protective of the youngest of the Blue Blood line, but he was the first one in a long time that wouldn't win a upper class twit of the year award. He actually reminded her of the first Blueblood that she had ever met. Granted that wasn't the family name at the time.

It hadn't been long after the founding of Equestria. She and Luna had not yet been recognized as rulers of the ponies when he appeared on the scene. He had managed to catch the interest of both herself and Luna, though in the end her sister had won out. The pair had wed and had a foal. A half god that lived for quite a time before some war or another claimed his life.

His children had taken to the nobility well, rather like ducks to water in truth, though over time and generations they had become corrupt like the others. Celestia forgot the exact event that brought it about, but Luna had washed her hooves of the whole family. This was well before she had fallen into darkness herself and the act led them fall quite far from grace.

Luna hadn't taken another serious, nor pony love, since that point and it was one of the reasons Celestia had not believed her about Solomon, thinking she was simply trying to keep Celestia as bitter and lonely as she was.

After Luna's fall, Celestia had found the BlueBloods once again and brought them back into her favor, simply as a reminder of her sister.

Because of this most believed the Blueblood's were her descendants, given the amount of family members with white coats like hers, they had frustrated her to no end as well, but for a thousand years they were a reminder of her sister in better times. There were also a few good ones over the course of the years and Prince was one of them. Despite his arrogant act and what others thought of him because of it, he had managed to secure many agreements as an ambassador in his young life that many thought impossible.

While Celestia hoped that this particular date would go well, she had to know for sure, she had to make sure it worked out for the best, or it was stopped before he had time to regret it. His parents had caused him pain before as had some of his dates in his short time in the dating pool. Then there were all the crazy mares who flocked to him. She had to watch out for him....

She also needed to watch out for the run away hay cart in front of her...

“Oh horse apples.” Celestia cursed as the cart plowed into her invisible form, and flung her into to the air, to land, plot up, in the middle of the cart's hay pile as the cart shot out of town at a speed that shouldn't have been possible.

“Pink Menace to Green Breath, Pink Menace to Green Breath over.” Pinkie Pie grinned from where she stood at the top of the hill.

“That's not my call sign.” Spike sighed on the other end of the communication spell Twilight had put on the sunglasses.” Also this is a party line, you don't have to say over.”

“I like Parties.” Pinkie Pie giggled. So what is your call sign?”

“Tarrasque.”

“I am not gonna remember that.” Pinkie admitted.

“I told him he should have gone with Sphinx.” Moon Dancer chimed in.

“Just …. what happened?”Spike sighed.

“Princess Celestia just met a cart on a rather personal level and is on her way out of town. I give it five to ten minutes until her return.” Pinkie Pie added chipperly.

“Okay, that should give them enough time to get to the theater. Good work Pinkie.”

“Pink Menace.”

“Whatever. Any how, the pink princess is on the cart.” Spike added.

“I don't recognize what that code phrase is Spiky.”Pinkie chimed up.

“It's not a code, Cadence is on top of Prince's Chariot.” Spike sighed.

“Oh.” Pinkie frowned.

“We got this!” three young voice chimed in suddenly.

“Ummm .” Spike replied.

“I'm with them, it's nothing explosive.” Bon Bon added with a long suffering sigh.

Princess Cadence smiled to herself as the cart made it's way through Ponyville. She could hear the pair of them talking inside the cart, but she couldn't quite make out what was being said. Perhaps she could risk an eavesdropping spell, though she was wary Prince might notice that one. He had been taking lessons that might help him as an ambassador.

Before she had a chance to cast anything however a loud creaking from a tree the cart was passing under drew her attention.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MASTERS OF ESPINOGE YAY!!!” a trio of voices shouted.

Cadence blinked recognizing the voices of the three fillies that had been at the gala.

“I wonder what they are doing?” was all Cadence managed before a massive tree branch swung across the top of the cart, missing the roof by a few inches, but impacting Cadence in the chest sending her flying off the top of the chariot to crash land in a wagon full of hay that was nearby. Dazed as she was Cadence could feel the wagon she was in start rolling back down the street away from Prince and his date.

Bon Bon smiled slightly glancing over at the tree the fillies were under and the rope they used that had been holding the branch.

“Not bad, but you can't yell out before you attack. And this was more assassination than espionage.” Bon Bon corrected.” Still it was a successful start.”

“Oh”....Sweetiebelle commented tapping her chin as she considered it.

“So that's why you put the cart there. Neat... she's really booking too, the carts almost already out of town.” Scootaloo called as she watched down the hill the cart had rolled.

“You seem tah know a lot about espia-whatever Miss Bon Bon.” Applebloom stated looking over the top of her sunglasses at the candy mare.

Bon Bon froze a second glancing down at the filly who was looking up at her curiously.

“Ehh, I like spy novels.” Bon Bon placated.

“Oh, okay.” Applebloom admitted before tapping her glasses. “Spike we got Princess Cadence off tha cart.”

“Is no one going to use my call sign.” Spike sighed over the com.

“Bork.” Rahs countered from further along the party line com system.

“My call sign is not koopa!” Spike grumbled. ”And get off the line unless you have something important to say.”

“Err, Tarrasque, are we going to have any issues with this? I mean we are trying to fight off two Princesses?” Bon Bon asked.

“First off thanks. Okay.... now what was your call sign, oh yeah. “ Spike muttered. “ Don't worry about it Sweetie Drops, Princess Luna has granted blanket amnesty for the duration of this date. Of which I need to update her of the situation.”

“Do it later Spike, the carriage is at the theater.” Twilight's voice chimed in.

“Right. Lunar and Solar Eclipse are you two ready?” Spike questioned.

“Err which of us was which again?” Sunburst asked.

“Does it matter?” Spike sighed.

“No” Moon Dancer stated and everyone in on the chatter could feel the eye roll. “I do have to question though, how did you get the theater to be empty on a Saturday night?”

“We set up a earlier cheaper matinee for the showings and asked the manager to close early by telling him what was going on. After he ran off screaming we talked to the assistant manager who agreed so long as we promised to keep the collateral damage away from the theater.” Twilight explained.

“The Cakes also set up a free cup cake tasting event and the Crusaders told everyone about it and well, you know how fast good news spreads among foals.” Pinkie Pie giggled.

"Big Mac is inside to make sure everything runs smoothly and as a last line of defense.” Twilight explained.

“Okay they're in, Big Apple are we good?”Moon Dancer asked.

“Oh, you remember his call sign.” Spike grumbled.

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac chimed up.

To those inside of Ponyville Theater and Stage nothing changed. To those outside however, the building simply wasn't there any more as Sun Burst and Moon Dancer activated an improved version of Moon Dancer's Alicorn -B- Gone™ spell.

The chariot was quickly moved down the street to a mock up building that was scheduled for demolition and had been rigged up to look like the theater, before all those involved slipped away to wait.

They did not need to wait long before two somewhat annoyed, hay covered, and still invisible, alicorns approached the building from different sides of the street.

Twilight who was sitting in a side alley just out of sight grinned as she watched the pair with her sunglasses on and a odd black and white striped jacket she used to blend in.

“It's show time....” Twilight grinned.

Caspian and Weep, Part Hamster

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 22
By TDR

Caspian and Weep,
Part Hamster

[ I'm getting the bat.]

[Canterlot, Royal throne room.]

The petitioners of the Day Court had been having a interesting and troublesome day.

The first bit of news was that one of their number had run off after canceling everything that he was associated with for the whole weekend. Parties, meetings, and other high status events were shuffled to the side or out right dismissed. While many were getting used to Prince Blueblood's oddities, to have him drop everything so suddenly giving less than two weeks notice caused an uproar in certain circles, particularly once said circles realized how much influence Prince's presence gave to them.

Princess Cadence and her consort had vanished as well.

Not that any of the nobles would admit he existed. Many actively sought to avoid anything to do with him. Granted the majority of the ones who pretended neither of them existed were the ones who had protested the most about a commoner trying to marry into royalty.

This group had been verbally 'bitch slapped' by Princess Celestia of all ponies who informed them on no uncertain terms that Shining Armor had claim on not one, but two titles of Prince. One from Princess Luna being, after an annoying legal battle, legal guardian of a one Rahs Sparkle, This making the family royalty, and the news that Spike Sparkle was a Prince of the Dragons, thus making Shining Armor a 'Double Prince', and thus unable to be judged by any save the Princesses themselves. And since he had the favor of two the three directly, Princess Celestia was still on the fence, they could, and it has been quoted,' Stuff it where the sun and moon don't shine,' end quote.

Still that all could be overlooked.

The major thing of note was the Day Court had been canceled for the day, which was preposterous. Saturday was the day Princess Celestia specifically set aside to deal with the issues of nobility without the lower caste rif raf being able to attend like they could the rest of the week. It was a hard won concession that took many years of careful negotiation to achieve.

Rumors of them whining until they got their way were simply that, rumors.

Not only had the Princess canceled, but she had vanished as well.

Still that was neither here or there. Emergency's happen. What had the gathered nobility in a titter was that the Day Court had been reinstated, but moved back to the later afternoon.

All petitioners had had messengers show up at their homes with this info. It was also followed by the information that if the petitioners did not show up to plead the case they registered, then they would be held liable for wasting the crowns time and tax payer's bits and be fined accordingly.

The idea of losing money brought all of them immediately to the throne room, only to find it was not Princess Celestia heading the court.

Princess Luna sat on the throne surrounded by her horrific looking Night Guards. There were mummers of worry that she had overthrown Celestia and now ruled everything, though the presence of a number of Day Guard, the usual annoying Starched Collar, checking off the names on the list, and Mrs Flowery Text aiding the Night Princess gave little fuel to fan the fire of the rumor. Still despite everything being odd and off kilter, the Nobles did their duty of complaining about what ever had annoyed them this week.

Princess Luna sat back in her throne looking down over a ridiculous pair of sun glasses she wore at the noble currently complaining about his neighbors fence being an inch and a half too high according to the HOA rules for his area.

Luna had already had the site surveyed when she learned of the petition and the reason it seemed to be taller than allowed was because it was built along a slope, which the complainers side was the lower side. In fact Princess Luna had already read over the full list of grievances of the day and determined that only three of them were even something to bring to the Royal Court. The first was a zoning dispute with royally held land. The other was a criminal sentencing, that had been added due to Friday night having an overflow of cases. The final one of interest was permission to start a settlement from a one Starlight Glimmer. The unicorn had filled out all the necessary paperwork already and was simply seeking the final approval, which Luna had no issue giving as it was all on the up and up, despite the mare creeping her out a little with that too wide smile of hers. How the mare had gotten into the court on 'Pompous Twit Day' was any ponies guess, but if she was starting a town and was here, she clearly had some connections.

Still with the rest she followed her sisters advice and simply allowed the nobility to talk, despite her having already reached a decision on all of the cases to be presented.

While tuning out the one rambling about fence post width and material, she took note of a pair of nobles in the front row who were whispering to each other.

“So ten bits on she's wearing them due to light sensitivity?” the male muttered.

“Agreed and my ten are on she's using them to hide the fact she's slept through all the rambling.” the mare chuckled.

Luna offered a little smile at that. She had found Fancy Pants and Fluer to be most amusing. Granted they were both wrong in this case, she was using the glasses to listen in to what was going on in Ponyville, bolstering the devices range with her own magic.

It had been a struggle not to laugh in a nobles face as he proposed a cheese tax when she had heard Tia was rolled out of town in a hay cart.

[Ponyville]

Now those who knew Twilight Sparkle, knew the mare had issues, and not just the periodicals that were in the library.

She had even considered writing them down and laminating them to hand out like business cards to new people to avoid any problems arising. Of course the list was far to big for one card, or ten, so the idea was scrapped.

What most ponies don't know however is Twilight also had a vindictive streak. It only tended to show itself when she was particularly angry, or like in the current situation, when she wouldn't face any real repercussions for her actions.

Her brothers knew of this streak quite well and knew how to avoid it or at least counter it if it was aimed their way.

At the moment, two ponies who normally would never be a target of such ire, just activated the second situation.

While the misleading and manipulation she had endured as Celestia's student was a perfect reason for a bit of comeuppance on that Princess, despite forgiving her.... again, Cadence being a desired target might be a little less known of a reason.

Aside from her brothers, Cadence was her first real friend, and although it never crossed her conscious mind, she was aware that after a while Cadence had started coming over to see her brother more than she came over to see Twilight. There was also the fact she knew the pink mare had a hoof in her own dating shenanigans, and had a hoof in Rahs' love life as well.

The opportunity to do something as sort of a payback was too good for her to pass up.

The fact Twilight had also abused her full access to the Starswirl Wing of the Royal Library and found all the information on a particular spell of Discord's that Starswirl had written about. One that he had recently used in fact and called' Fun House'.

Twilight was itching to try her hoof at a bit of magic she had never tried before.

Purely for scientific purposes of course.

And not for years of pranks, tests, and forced dates with twits.

Certainly not that.

[Ponyville]

“I'm telling you Snap Chat, he's here. We saw the cart and his butler already.” a dark gray stallion chuckled his horn glowing through his sea green hair as he adjusted his camera hanging from a strap around his neck.

“I dunno Quick Pic..... this sounds a little far fetched.” A silver furred pegasus muttered, her feathers brushing over her own camera possessively. ”Sounds a little hard to believe that the mare he's been looking for years has been here of all places. It's practically right under his nose.”

“I know, ain't that the beauty of it. It's a perfect scoop and we need to be the ones to get it and pictures of who ever this mystery mare is.” Quick Pic smirked as the pair of them made their way down a side street.

“I'm also wondering why you invited me along for this. You could have had all the fame of getting that image yourself” Snap Chat muttered.

“Yeah well.... this place is the problem.”

“Problem? What problem?”

“You haven't heard the rumors of this place?” Quick Pic asked.

“ Oh about Ponyville, yeah who hasn't at this point. Don't mess with any of the Element Bearers, especially the yellow one.”Snap Chat shuddered. “ But this is a Canterlot Noble, he's not covered by that rule..... unless.....”

“Right unless he's been looking for one of the Bearers. Which means two of us have a better chance of getting a shot than just one.”

“I can see that, still I hope it's just some local mare I heard what happened to Zoom Lens and.......” the silver furred pegasus stopped cold , her eyes getting wider.

“What?” Quick Pic stopped looking around in a panic seeing nothing else in the back street of note.” What is it?”

The pegasus mare lifted a hoof to point, and the stallion followed her gesture to what looked like a small animal rooting around behind one of the old crates behind a building.

“By Celestia's easily photographed from space plot, don't tell me your afraid of a little mouse.” Quick Pic sighed.” You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“N... not a mouse......” the mare stated backing up away from the crate her wings fully extended.

“What?” Quick pic asked again looking back to the box noticing a bit of white fur as a small rabbit hopped out of cover looking up at them it's nose twitching.

“Okay see look it's only a rabbit.” Quick Pic pointed out before his ears drooped noticing that the pegasus was freaking out even more now.

“Yeah a white rabbit..... the thing Zoom Lens didn't stop screaming about when they found him.” Snap Chat swallowed.

“Come on there's tons of white rabbits it can't be the same one.... did it just smile at me......” Quick Pic asked. Granted his companion didn't answer as she had quickly flapped her wings and shot straight into the air and back towards Canterlot at a speed that would have impressed even Rainbow Dash.

The unicorn stallion looked up at the fleeing pegasus then back down at the rabbit that was now hopping closer as he weighed his options.

“Buck this...” the stallion stated and started to run.

Rahs glanced over at the ally as a unicorn stallion shot out of it screaming at the top of his lungs, a small white rabbit hopping slowly after him with a manic grin on it's face.

Rahs shook his head smirking a little himself as he looked to the issue before him.

“YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HAVE A PRESS PASS! THE PONIES DESERVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH!!” the barrel before him shouted.

“Woof.” Rahs responded.

“What?” the barrel demanded the lid pushing up to show a gray and black spotted muzzle.

“He says he has a permit.” Fluttershy stated from next to Rahs as the Moon Dog pushed a bit of paper into the barrel before hammering down the lid to seal it.

“This just says ' I do what I want'!” the barrel shouted before it was knocked onto it's side and then kicked down the hill. The pony inside screaming as it rolled down the bumpy road and out of town.

“I think maybe that wasn't very nice.” Fluttershy protested.

“Woof.” Rahs responded.

“Well I know you cut air holes, but isn't this a bit much?” Fluttershy asked.

Rahs pondered a moment before shaking his head no.

“Oh... well alright . If you're sure.” Fluttershy replied.

In another part of town across from a invisible theater, a building started screaming with two voices.

In an alley across from the building, a purple muzzle smiled just a bit more.

Caspian and Weep, Part... * WACK * [40]

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Caspian and Weep,
Part... * WACK *

[Ponyville]

“Midnight, the chickens are leaving the hen house.”

“First off, who, and secondly what?” Twilight questioned.

“Twilight you were the one who chose Midnight as a call sign.” Spike sighed.

“Oh sorry, I just said the first thing that popped into my head when you asked for a code name. I didn't even remember I had one.” Twilight shrugged.

“I am so docking you xp next time we play.” Spike growled.

“Really, did you finally find a calculator with enough zeros to calculate my xp from the hall of infinite orcs?” Twilight asked with a smirk.

“You threw a fireball in there and tried to convince me that infinite orcs means infinite methane from their farts and that one fireball would detonate every one of them.” Spike shouted.

“Ummm can we discuss this later, Prince and Rainbow Dash are leaving the theater.” Moon Dancer offered.” They are back in the chariot and on their way to dinner.”

“Rainbow Dash seemed rather excited about the show, I didn't even know they made a Daring Do movie.” Sun Burst added.

“That's fine, the recursive looping from quids theorem is starting to get noticed by the Princesses any way and I need to drop it before they can think to trace the spell. “ Twilight sighed. “ Moon Dancer how are you holding up?”

“The movie took a lot more out of me than I thought holding the spell for an hour and a half. “ Moon Dancer sighed. “ I can probably cast it again in order to hide the restaurant, but I won't be able to hold it for the whole dinner. And there's no stable ley line grid here like the one near my house I can tap into to leave it running.”

“Yeah the mayor won't let us set one up. She figured it would explode somehow. We've got to rely on smaller mana batteries for anything powered.” Twilight sighed.

“It's okay we expected this. Gygax, plan B.” Spike stated.

“ I do not like this plan B.” Shining Armor grumbled.

“Menace, plan C.” Spike stated.

“On it Spikey.” Pinkie Pie said chipperly.

“Those are high risk plans Spike.” Twilight accused.

“But they have the best chance of succeeding once your spell ends.”Spike sighed. “ Unless you want to confront Princess Celestia directly.”

“Nah countering her chess master with my own chess master works for me.” Twilight smiled.

“Twilight you suck at chess.”Lyra chimed in.” Particularly if your opponent makes an odd move.”

“Yes, thank you for that. Lyra, I appreciate being belittled about my gaming skill.” Twilight sighed. “ Besides this is Xanatos speed chess. It's a whole different thing.”

“Alright they made it to the restaurant ya'll. Ah'm taking up position inside.” Applejack stated.

“Okay dropping the spells..... Now.” Twilight stated canceling the chaos spell and the high focus orderly Quids theorem at the same time.

[?]

Discord popped into being wearing a professors hat and graduation robes. He calmly extended a pointer and slaps a board into being behind him that was covered with a great many chaotic looking drawings with lines and boxes and things that had dimensions that shouldn't exist.

“Discord's 'Fun house' spell works by creating a pocket dimension of pure chaos that runs on the Murphy effect of anything that can happen will happen. In this dimension you might be assailed by pies, fight off bubble gum eels or simply see what you want to see.” Discord explained before yanking down a screen that hung from nothing.

On the screen was a picture of Twilight with a hay burger mashed into her mouth and ketchup everywhere.

“Little miss purple here is a first time chaos user... and while normally I couldn't be more proud, she's already made a very basic rookie mistake in attempting to control the spell and what it does.” Discord continued. “See she's been making it so it looks like the pair of peeping pony princesses are watching the date, with the occasional mishaps of getting shushed by imaginary ushers, getting stuck to the floor, and getting buttered popcorn stuck to their manes as a excitable filly or colt flings the bucket.”

Discord sighed.

“While this is chaotic and slightly amusing she's been reducing the potency of the spell in order to make it do what she wants with little petty paybacks.” Discord smirked.” Now her mistake was the control, Chaos does not like being controlled, and while she's over powering it through sheer magic chutzpah right now, sooner or later it will do what it wants and not what she wants.”

Discord pointed to another board that had a well written and very neat and organized series of marks and runes on it.

“This is Quids theorem. It's a complex and very neat and orderly spell to make something bigger on the inside. It's how you could have scenes where Optimus Prime was loaded into a smaller auto bot, or twelve cars could get out of that trailer of his. Any way, not the point.” Discord offered throwing a small red toy truck away grumbling about it costing seventy bucks and it didn't even come with the trailer.

“Now aspiring chaos mage Twili here decided to pair this super orderly spell and a super chaotic spell under duress together.”

Discord smiled plopping down in a movie theater seat with a pair of red and blue 3-d specs on as he ate his soda and drank a big bucket of popcorn.

“Dis' gonna be good.”

[ Ponyville]

Several things happened at once as Twilight released her hold on the spells. The very act of which should have ended the duration and caused them to fade away with no trace.

The first thing there was a loud noise, in the form of an angelic choir suddenly belting out DMX's 'X gonna give it to you', with the Tomas the tank engine theme going along with the beat, at a volume that shattered a number of windows in the area.

The second thing was that the entire building spontaneously turned into bees, and one very confused ostrich in a top hat that promptly got the buck out of there.

As two alicorns suddenly fell out of the vaguely house shaped bee swarm, Princess Celestia was the first to react.

“AHHHHH THE BEES … NOT THE BEES!!!”

Said Princess then proceeded to rocket away at a speed which would have made Rainbow Dash jealous and crashed fully into the nearby frog pond where she was reacquainted with Overfiend, the giant squid.

The second Princess was a little slower to react and as such she was at ground zero when all the bees suddenly exploded.

There was no noise aside from a sharp sound of a trumpet and a large cardboard sign reading ' BOOM!' taking up everyone's vision no matter what direction they looked at the explosion from.

Princess Cadence then started screaming herself as the explosion of bees had become paint.

The result left the area, and the princess, looking like a Jackson Pollock painting done by Lisa Frank.

The formerly pink princess opened her eyes, her amethyst orbs blinking in the apocalyptic crayola plant meltdown that was the remains of the building.

She let out a small cough, that released a cloud of smoke colored much like her surroundings before she fell forward, face planting into the mess.

Twilight blinked looking at the carnage, quite glad that building was slated for demolition, and hoping the coloration would fade eventually as she slowly started to back away before breaking into a run after uttering the most common statement for a buck up of this magnitude.

“oops.”

[Canterlot, a hour later]

“Umm thank you for inviting us to dinner Princess, though I am not sure what we owe the honor.” Fancy pants offered as he glanced to his wife, Fleur, who sat across from him on the tables narrow width. At the end not far from them sat Princess Luna.

“Tis simple. Thou were invited as thou are not twits. “Luna smirked. “ Also that thee was not afraid to make a comment on my eye wear, and yes we heard thine bet.”

The two nobles glanced to each other with a bit of worry before Luna waved it off.

“Calm thyselfs. Despite the rumors we do not consider any slight a grave insult. Granted we do not try to let this widely be known among the upper class for obvious reasons.” Luna explained.

“Ahh I see.” Fancy Pants nodded seeming to calm a little before he offered a sly smirk. “ So if I might be so bold Princess. Which of us won that little wager?”

Luna smiled.” Neither, we were not wearing it for our eyes, and we do not feel the need to sleep through boring conversations when we can simply demand the point be made.”

“Oh... then why might you be wearing those Princess?” Fleur asked.

Luna smirked and set the glasses down on the table, her horn glowing as she increased the slight volume on them to let the voices be heard.

“Pink menace what happened?” a young voice asked from the glasses, much to the surprise of the two nobles at the table.

“Oh she was sent out of town on another cart... this one was on fire though.” a chipper voice added with a slightly more muted voice in the back screaming about cabbages. “She'll be fine.”

“I take plan C worked though?” another voice asked.

“Yup she's still in Sugar Cube Corner. When I left she hadn't even made it through the D types of cakes yet.”

“Right the pair are getting ready to order desert, so I expect we might have this in the bag if we can keep Princess Cadence away.”

Fleur and Fancy blink as they look at the glasses their ears perked as Luna smiled.

“What is this?” Fancy asked.

“Prince Blueblood has found the mare he was seeking and is on a date. The Sparkles and friends are keeping every pony, including my niece and sister, from interfering.” Princess Luna explained.

Fancy Pants frowned. “In Ponyville?”

“Yes.” Princess Luna agreed.

Fancy sighed and floated a small stack of bits across the table to Fleur, who smirked and collected them.

“Is it at least not one of the Element Bearers?” Fancy Pants pleaded.

“It is one of them actually.” Princess Luna blinked as another stack of coins made it's way to Fleur.

“I don't suppose it would happen to be the one who modeled for a bit would it?” Fleur asked as Fancy sighed. “ Fluttershy?”

“No it is not.”Luna answered

Bits moved back from Fleur to to Fancy Pants as Fleur pouted.

“The sturdy looking farmer?” Fancy asked. “Applejack I think was her name.”

“No it is not her either.” Luna added watching with a smile as more bits went back to Fleur.

“The energetic pink one then?” Fleur asked.

“No.”

Fleur pouted again and floated all the bits she had won so far back over to Fancy Pants.

“I see, given the reaction at the Gala and their past, that eliminates both Miss Rarity and Miss Sparkle, thus leaving Rainbow Dash as the one Prince has been seeking.” Fancy Pants smiled as Luna chuckled nodding. “ Well I do hope it works out for him and not simply because he helped me win a bet with my wife.”

[ Alice's Restaurant, Ponyville, outside]

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. Alice's is closed tonight.” Comet Trail offered moving between the place and the trio of ponies walking up to it. While he wasn't sure what was going on at the moment, he wasn't going to let anyone get any where near any place the Sparkles were at the moment. The hospital had been kept empty thus far, save for some cabbage vendor who was having a break down, and he wasn't about to let any pony willingly walk into something that might send them there. Down town already looked like a thirty paint cart accident, after said carts fell off a cliff.

“But we came for the buffet!” The smallest one whined. A green eyed stallion with a brown coat and sandy blonde hair. He had an odd cutie mark of what looked like some sort of large six wheeled wagon firing a rocket out of the back.

“Oh well, I guess, maybe we're not hungry then?” the larger green eyed stallion offered, his light blue fur and neon blue mane an odd contrast to the other twos darker colors , though his cutie mark was a red circle with what looked like an arrow head in it.

The lone mare, a green eyed dark blue furred unicorn with a deep purple mane and a cutie mare of some sort of purple face with horns, glared over at the other two.” It's fine, lets go you two.”

As the trio walked off the Guard considered.

“I didn't know Alice's had a buffet.” Comet Trail shrugged.

Author's Note

The song blaring at high volume.

The last three cutie marks where in order;
The M.A.S.K. Rhino.
Robotech U.N. Spacy badge
and a Decepticon symbol.

All perfect for those types of ponies.

Caspian and Weep, part 6

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Caspian and Weep,
part 6

[Ponyville]

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was not a happy pony. She was so not happy in fact she was referring to her self by her full name.

After the explosion she had been met by, and roped into helping, the Cutie-mark Crusaders in another attempt at getting a cutie mark. The foals would not take no for an answer and somehow their puppy dog eyes had bypassed her built up resistance.

Probably the fact they had mastered the lip quiver Luna sometimes used.

Scootaloo had also started calling her Skittles due to her coat and the paint she simply could not get off with any cleaning spell she tried, she simply wound up with clean paint.

The attempt had some how resulted in her being rolled out of town in a burning cabbage cart. Something that still confused her as they were trying to get cutie marks in macrame.

After that she was finally making her way back to the theater only to spot Shining Armor. He had left that morning claiming he was coming to Ponyville to see Twilight and she should enjoy her boating thing, as he called it.

The mint colored mare he was with however, was definitely NOT Twilight.

Prince's date could wait.

Things had gotten worse from that point. After stalking them for a bit she realized it looked very much like a date. Before she could rush forward and confront him Pinkie Pie zipped by screaming about a twitchy tail.

Ignoring the pink pony Cadence again moved to confront Shining only to be hit with a piano from the sky.

Once she recovered from that, she quickly set off after Shining again managing to tackle him by a music store to demand an explanation. At which point in time she realized the blue haired, white coated MARE she had caught, was not Shining Armor.

Nor was the gray earth pony with her thrilled about Cadence accosting her mare friend.

Princess or not there were some lines you did not cross and Cadence had evidently crossed one. As such she was not terribly upset about being shoved face first into a dumpster by the black maned mare.

She was however unhappy when said dumpster somehow caught fire and was rolled into the duck pond to be put out.

Particularly since said duck pond still had not been refiled with water and she was instead dumped out into about a foot of wet mud.

Making her way back into the town she spotted Shining Armor once again with a cream colored mare with a tri colored reddish mane and rushed over to catch him as he moved around a corner.

Once again she found herself tackling a rapidly becoming familiar white and blue maned mare.

This time her mare friend simply opted to kick open a fire hydrant and blast the offending mud pony away from the blue maned mare with a stream of water that embedded Cadence into a wall.

As she peeled herself out of the brick Cadence took note that Shining Armor was now across the street with a mare she recognized as Minutte, one of Twilight's older friends. It only took a moment to realize that the other two had been Lyra and Moon Dancer.

Cadence growled at herself at her own jealousy before focusing and sensing no real love between the pair, particularly not any sort of physical love

That always felt sticky.

Thus she realized he was probably just catching up with Twilight's friends.

Cadence felt rather dumb at this point.

Still now she could get back to the mission and rushed off towards where she had last seen Prince's chariot in front of a restaurant.

She had already missed so much, nothing was going to stop her now.

Princess Celestia was having a surprisingly good day all things considered.

Well after the bees and the squid any way.

Once she had gotten out of the lake, she had been given a flier by Pinkie Pie showing that Sugar Cube Corner was holding a cake tasting event with a large number of old and new recipes to try.

Celestia had considered ignoring it, but passing by the shop on the way back to the theater. The door had opened at an opportune moment to hear the sounds of a number of fillies and colts chattering as well as the smell of the cakes inside the shop.

Celestia felt her hooves dig into the soil as she stopped.

Looking one way held Prince and a possible disastrous date.

A date that obviously had some pony watching over it.

The Goddess of the Sun might have been born at night, but it was not last night.

Celestia rather enjoyed that statement, particularly the looks she got when she said it out loud, or when Lulu used the same term involving the day.

At any rate, clearly Prince was better protected than she had thought, and given she knew very few could cast a 'Fun house' spell with that level of control, let alone the Alicorn- B-Gone™ spell that she could tell had been cast.

So donning a large fake mustache Princess Celestia turned and walking in the front door of the shop before the foals gobbled up all the good cakes.

After all some one went to a lot of trouble to set this up. The least she could do would be eat some of the bait.

“Spike we lost Cadence. She's headed for the restaurant.” Shining called out on the glasses party line.

“Princess Celestia's moving again too, we didn't keep enough cup cakes in front of her to keep her distracted. “Pinkie Pie added.

“The dates almost done, can we stall them for another few seconds?” Spike asked sounding a bit panicked.

“Celestia maybe, but with the way Cadence looks right now, I seriously doubt it unless you want to find yourself in love with a park bench or something.” Bon Bon added.

“Woof!” Rahs chimed in.

“What?” Twilight asked. “ What do you mean you got this?”

“What I believe Mister Sparkle here is trying to say is that do not worry. This mission is a success and every one should depart before we are associated with the shenanigans by the Princesses.” Wooster added.” We have a secret weapon.”

“A secret weapon? What secret weapon?” Spike demanded.

“Well if we told you it wouldn't be a secret would it?”

“As such Mister Sparkle and Miss Fluttershy were invaluable in getting it together in time.” Wooster added “Please leave the rest to us.”

[Alice's restaurant.]

“ I am impressed Miss Dash. I was unaware when you said you could get anything you want here, you truly meant anything you want.” Prince Blue blood offered.

“Yeah no kidding I was impressed when I first found this place.” Rainbow Dash laughed. ”Also stop calling me Miss Dash, That sounds like some sort of spiced table salt or something.”

“Well as you wish Dash.” Prince smiled.” I am quite glad you enjoyed it. We did get off to a bit of a rocky start.”

“Well advice from several different sources doesn't help matters. “Dash chuckled nervously. “Still , this was fun. We should totally do this again some time.”

“Was that an invitation to a second date?”Prince smiled.

“Huh, I guess it was. Sure, we'll go with that. Maybe something a little less classic than a show and dinner though.”

“I will be sure to entertain some new ideas then. Perhaps rock climbing.” Prince smirked.

“Not much challenge there as a pegasus.” Dash smirked.

“Really not even how Daring Do did it in the film?” Prince smiled.” One wing behind her back.”

“Yeah I can see that being fun.” Dash nodded with a laugh as the pair of them headed towards the entrance.

The pair both drew to a stop as they saw the two figures standing there waiting for them in the front lobby area.

Rahs and Wooster smiled slightly as the pair noticed them before Rahs made a gesture for the two of them to head back into the restaurant.

“I do hate to interrupt Sir and Madam, but if you would please head this way with us?” Wooster offered before trotting towards a fire door in the back with Rahs following.

“Why the heck are you here?” Dash asked Rahs who only grinned.

Dash and Prince looked to each other before following after them. Wooster pushed open the door and Rahs held it open for the pair as they entered into the small dirt lot behind the restaurant.

Sitting before them was a cherry red wagon that only had three small wheels to aid in movement and landing. A glass canopy covered the top of the cart and the whole thing looked like a stream lined wedge. A pair of long bars came out of the wedge point connecting to a harness. The only way it seemed a pony could fit in the wagon was if they were lying down.

“What?” Rainbow Dash blinked looking over another THUNDERHEAD.

“Wooster what...?” Prince asked only to have a flight suit presented to him and another to Rainbow Dash.

“Miss Rarity sends her regards and apologies for her previous behavior as well as the flight suits. If you wish to change Mr. Sparkle has set up a small tent there by the THUNDERHEAD you can use.” Wooster began. “While I do hope you will forgive me for being more forward with this sir we have some issue with the chariot and I presumed that this would do as a replacement? Particularly for a end to the evening such as this?”

Rainbow Dash and Prince Blueblood looked at the flight suits then at the old butler, then over at the Moon Dog and his smirk, before looking at each other both of them starting to smile a bit wider than they had been.

An irate Cadence and a slightly miffed Celestia stared up at the rainbow colored streak that had erupted from behind the restaurant and into the sky in less time than it took for either of them to blink. A moment or two later the boom hit the pair and sent them tumbling plot over head to crash into a wall on the other side of the street.

Oddly none of the windows of the restaurant or any nearby buildings were broken.

Mostly because all of them had already been shattered from the earlier musical assault.

After a few moments the slightly pudgier Celestia and much more colorful Cadence pulled themselves off the wall and stumbled forward with a pair of groans. A moment after that they finally noticed each other.

“Cadence what are you doing here?” Princess Celestia asked eyeing the mare up and down. “ Better still, what happened to you?

“Errr, wait, why are you here auntie?” Cadence tried to redirect.

“Free cake tasting day at Sugar Cube Corner.” Celestia answered quickly with a smile. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either, and most importantly Cadence seemed to buy it. Celestia did not need a repeat of what happened when Cadence found out she was spying on Prince the first time.

“Shining is here and I figured to surprise him.” Cadence offered after a moment. Celestia didn't think she was lying but at the same time she expected there was something being left out. Of course if she admidted to knowing Cadence was here to spy on Prince, she would have to admit to knowing Prince was here, so Celestia simply nodded. “And I think the color was from the CMC doing something...”

“Cady what are you doing here?” a voice cut off any further conversation leaving both Princesses more than a little relieved as Shining Armor and his siblings trotted up interrupting them.” Oh and Princess Celestia is here too? What's going on?”

“Oh wow Cadence.. what happened.....” Spike smirked ready to laugh before his expression dropped.” Wait is this another prank war? Count me OUT!”

Rahs shuddered, though reluctantly got closer to help Celestia up, clearly he knew the right side to be on during a prank war.

Shining helped Cadence up running a hoof across her back taking note that the color wasn't coming off.

“I... never mind. I'm just ready to go home and take a bath now.” Cadence sighed glancing up at the trail of rainbow fire before trotting off with Shining following on her hooves after bidding his siblings goodbye.

Celestia blinked and smirked slightly, Cadence had missed a few things.

She however had not.

Celestia had learned quite a long time ago what to look for when it came to the Sparkles. Cadence had as well, though she was clearly a bit distraught. Celestia was full, not distraught..... though perhaps she had best try another sample of that strawberry cheese cake to be sure.

Still when suspicious of the Sparkles you did not look to Shining Armor. His training for the Guard had given him a poker face that would rival the best card sharks.

You did not look to Rahs Sparkle. The Moon Dog was an actor through and through, he could convince some pony he was suffering from some great tragedy on the best day of his life, and vice versa.

One did not even look to the youngest, Spike Sparkle either. Despite his age, the Dragon had developed a GM face that he could hold through even the silliest or stupidest acts of his players without cracking in a game of O&O.

No. If you suspected the Sparkles of something, you simply looked to Twilight Sparkle.

This is what Celestia did and the obvious tells she had expected were there.

“I suppose I should get back as well,” Celestia smiled as she looked to Twilight then her brothers. “ though perhaps I will stop by Sugar Cube Corner on the way out. There are a few samples I think I might have missed.”

The Sparkle Siblings watched the Solar Diarch walk off as if she hadn't just been flung into a wall, nor been denied spying on Prince.

“We are so dead.” Spike offered.

“Bork.” Rahs agreed glaring at Twilight.

“I told you to leave me out of this.” Twilight snapped. “But noooo, unified sibling front and all that. There's a reason I don't play cards.”

Author's Note

And thus ends the first date of Prince Blueblood and Rainbow Dash.

oh wait i have an epilogue.....

Caspian and Weep, epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Caspian and Weep,
epilogue

[Canterlot, Sunday morning.]

“...To be honest i'm surprised Discord didn't wake up again from everything that went on.” Princess Celestia concluded, telling the story to her smiling sister, who she was quite certain knew the whole thing any way somehow.

The pair of them sat in two large backed chairs staring out a large picture window looking out over Canterlot just after sunset. The multitude of lights decorating everything from ponies getting ready for Hearths Warming made the city look like a mirror of Luna's star filled night. This had become a favored time together before Luna took up her evening shift and Celestia went to bed. The low table between them had two sets of tea kettles one with Celestia's mark filled with a soothing herbal tea, and Luna's, that bore her mark and which had been filled with coco.

“He did.” Luna sighed. “The fool wandered into the castle in the middle of everything, got a water full of glass and went back out to the garden to turn back into a statue all while wearing what looked to be a 'power ranger' onesie and an' ask me about my chaos' night cap. “

“Don't you mean a glass of....” Celestia began.

“No we do not.”

“Oh.” Celestia blinked.

“So what art thou going to do?” Luna questioned taking a sip of her coco. With winter starting fully now the weather was starting to turn colder, and despite the castle being warm enough as it was, Luna had been excessively fond of heat since she returned.

Celestia did not want to dwell on why.

“What do you mean 'do'?” Celestia asked. “I had cake, Prince had a pleasant date. There is nothing for me to ' do' as you say. I would be more worried about Cadence personally. She's still rainbow colored after all.”

“Tia. We know thee. Thou likely hast something planed for the Sparkles for their part in the date.” Luna rolled her eyes. “We do not believe for a second you think them innocent.”

“I do not have anything planed for the Sparkles in revenge Lulu.” Celestia offered sipping her tea.” I most certainly do not have anything planned for them for trapping me in a chaos spell for an hour, covering me with bees, or hitting me with a cart.”

Luna stared.

“I cross my heart hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye that I have no plans to do anything to the Sparkles as payback for yesterday.” Celestia swore.

Luna took another sip of her coco, her eyes not leaving her sister.

“Thou already did something to them, didn't thee?” Luna asked with a sigh.

Celestia could only cackle like a mad mare in response.

[Ponyville, Golden Oaks Library]

Twilight Sparkle let out a small sigh, watching the green bubble of breath float free of her mouth and drift up towards the ceiling..

Spike wobbled not far from her, doing his best to try and help despite the wiggly odds.

Rahs just sat where he was looking rather dejected as he had tried and failed to deal with the problem, the Princesses being quite adapt at slipping things past his magic eating ability somehow.

The entire library was full to the brim, every nook, every cranny, every room, and every floor, with green lime jello.

Twilight crossed her fore legs over her chest and let out another sigh as she wobbled in her jelloy prison.

“Still worth it.” She stated.

Author's Note

And thus concludes Caspian and Weep.

I did not expect this to go on this long and i did not expect to go this route. This story again got away from me.

Next up a short hearths warming tale, because ehh. and then after it another chapter i've been wanting to do

Hearth's Whiskers Eve

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearth's Whiskers Eve

[ Three weeks after Rainbow Dash's date, one week after finally clearing all the jello out of Golden Oaks Library, Canterlot]

Rahs Sparkle was not a happy Moon Dog as he stared down at the Canterlot theaters main stage. Not only were they not doing The Peanut Cracker at any place he had sent the suggestion to, but he had not even received a letter of acceptance or denial from any of the theaters any where.

After that he found out that his sister and her friends, of all ponies were requested to put on the classic Hearths Warming play about the founding of Equestria. The six of them playing the key parts no less with Spike chosen as the narrator.

Just them.

If not for knowing Miss Broadway personally he would only be in the audience not even having a part in it at all. As it was he was just a additional stage hoof, one who was currently moving one of the lights by paw as the pulley system had messed up.

At least he was part of the show, albeit far from the spot light or even the positions he would want.

Still he could deal with that.

What he couldn't deal with was the complete hack job that this play had turned into.

Twilight had lived with him long enough that she could deliver a fairly good show so long as she continued to ignore the audience and intentionally forget she was preforming for any one. This was helped out by his directing the light to her a little more to keep her from seeing past the stage's end.

No one had told her the Princesses would be present either.

Rarity... well she was probably the best Princess Platinum he had seen. The perfect over the top haughty mare that the role was made for. If only she wouldn't keep posing every time camera flashed.

Fluttershy's issue had been fixed by simply giving her a crystal empowered mic to clip onto her costumes collar so she could be heard, that caused a few issues as well.

Applejack was a mess. Though she was getting better, she started off delivering flat lines as if she was reading them off a bit of paper, but she was slowly putting more emotion into the role in certain places.

With a bit more training she might be pretty good.

Dash was a lost cause, while she wasn't showboating as much as Rarity, she kept forgetting her lines. Luckily a stage hoof had set up off stage with cue cards for her after the first few errors.

Pinkie Pie..... well she was getting the point across that Pudding Head was as mad as three badgers in a sack being put through the laundry, but half her lines were not even scripted and she kept breaking the 4th wall and talking to the audience.

Spike had done fine, but his part was practically nothing so he could neither shine nor crash.

Still for first timers they were doing pretty well, his coaching had brought them this far with just how little time they had.

He wished he could have done more than just this.

“Hey rookie, get ready to move the light stage left. That means over there by the little dragon.” The pegasus who had been sent up to pass on directions ordered.

Rahs fixed him with a look that would have sent better stallions than him scurrying for cover and adjusted the light perfectly without taking his eyes off the stallion at the exact time with no prompting.

“Umm good.. yeah that's pretty good for a newbie.” the stallion stammered.

“I know more than you....”

[Directors booth.]

Franches Montagnesn Cloppala, Fraches. to his wife and friends, The Director, to everyone else, sat in his booth looking over the play.

He hated amateur plays. Loathed watching them,despised every one involved in them. He also never missed the chance to view, or direct one if he could. There was no telling when he might spot a new talent among them. It had been that way with Shirly Drebin and numerous others. He would have had Trixie Lulumoon catapulted to stardom as well, but she seemed uninterested in what he offered preferring to follow more in her family's hoof steps to be a more personal entertainer.

While he could respect her following her own path, he considered it a waste of a possible mega talent. All three of them were fantastic in truth. It was perhaps the most moving play he had ever directed. But as always it brought about it's own issues.

The great gray and black furred yak didn't even bother to look away from the stage as he heard the door open to the booth.

In truth he had expected this meeting some time ago once he heard of one of the actors connections.

“Your sister is causing me a good bit of grief you know.” Franches stated sharply. “I care not about public opinion and wanting to redo this play again with them at the helm. They are barely passable as hacks.”

“We think you may have confused us for some one else.” Princess Luna stated flatly.

“No we have not Princess. Come sit. Let us discuss this issue you have with me.” Franches gestured a hoof to a seat still not looking away from the stage. “ I did not think he had it in him to use connections to pressure me.”

“Rahs has not brought this up to us. Our sister has. “Luna stated moving to take a seat.” We wish to know why thee are going out of thine way to spite Rahs.”

The yak snorted. “ Do you know what makes a good actor, a good thespian Princess?”

“Enlighten us.” Luna ordered.

“Some would say the ability to fool others, to bring a story alive, to memories ones lines perfectly. Bah, those are all results, not reasons.”Franches offered. “Passion ? Love? Desire? Also only bits of it. What makes a true thespian, one who seems born to the stage? Drive. The drive to do what ever it takes , to give oneself fully to the stage and make the crowd FEEL what you are doing, make them see what you want them too, to engage them so fully with your skill that they can neither pull away nor focus on anything else but the part you play, the emotion you wish to convey. Any one can play a part, or 'act' but it takes a true master to be the part, and to make others believe that that was what you really are.”

The yak paused taking a drink from a mug nearby as those on stage declared the same spot in the name of their kingdoms.

“All the worlds the stage Princess, there are stars, there are extras, and there are actors .” Franches continued. “Stars take all the attention, but do little else, extras focus the attention to some one else and are barely noticed themselves. And actors........ actors can do anything.”

“Profound, but it does not answer what we wish to know.”Luna said coldly.

“I have been witness to many stars, and extras in my life Princess. But so very rarely do I find an actor. On this stage, on this very stage, that these …....star hacks before me mangle their lines and look foolish, I have witnessed three actors. THREE! At the same time no less, in a budget play at that. I've gathered one, made him more than he would ever be because he had it , he had the drive, he had the desire and force of will to push himself to greater and greater heights. The name of of Shirly Drebin is on every ones lips who even knows what a stage IS! And that is because he pushed and forced himself to become that. He didn't just think he would succeed he KNEW IT he had the drive to make what he wanted a reality.”

The yak paused with a frown.

“The second was beautiful, she was perfect, but her drive was not towards the stage as others sought. Her drive was towards something else. Towards another goal and as such this stage lost her. I weep for that loss. I have never seen anything like her before and I doubt I will again. With one exception.”

“One?” Luna asked.

“The one you came to me about. He was the third, flawless, invested passionate, he had the desire, the want. But the drive... no. There was always something else pulling him away, distracting him. Certainly he returned time and time again, but the drive to do what he had before, that was not there. His other performances were good, superb in fact, but they never regained the same height because of the lack of his drive. Even now he sits in the roof fiddling with the lights from a desire to be part of it again.” Franches went on. “ But I block him. I use my clout to make sure he only gets bit parts, perhaps a lead roll in a crap play, or as an extra here and there. I don't bother to hide I'm blocking him. I make it known. Let him think I'm doing it to spite him, or for racial reasons, or because of whatever. And every so often, I give him what he wants, just to see. And I catch glimpses, hints of what he could be, but the breaking point is not there. The Drive he should have is just not enough. I make him hate me I make him know that I'm the one stalling him and preventing him from doing what he wants on the stage because I know I can see it again. I know, that there will come a time. There will be a time when he's suffered all he can take, when an opportunity will come to him and he will take it with both claws and bring for the that which he can be if for nothing else than to spite me in an act of vengeance to show the world THAT HE CAN BE THE BEST...... That princess. That is how I know my part in his climb is done. That I have done my part to create the best actor the world has ever and will ever know.”

Luna was silent a time as the Yak caught his breath from the rant.

“We feel that was a complete load of manure thou realizes.” Princess Luna accused.

“Fine he ate my sandwich one time and I'm being petty is that what you wish to hear?” Franches Montagnesn Cloppala snorted. “In either case Princess the play is about over and I have no plans to stay on past that. So would you kindly depart and take your ax with you.”

Author's Note

This is something i wanted to bring up a while ago. Why Rahs as good as he supposedly was still struggling for parts and the like.

it also shows not everyone is intimidated by Luna.

I just needed a filler for this episode because i knew Rahs wasn't going to be part of it , not really.

Franches Montagnesn Cloppala, is a play on Fancies Ford Coppala [ natch] though Franches Montagnesn is a type of horse.

less a humor chapter here and more world building and directors rant.

Serval of my Excess, prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Serval of my Excess, prologue

[Ever Free Forest, three weeks after Hearths Warming. Monday]

“Now then mah little friend, ahdd the last bit and this will end.” Zecora stated smoothly as she watched Applebloom add the last bit of of a small bowl into the bubbling mix.

It had taken a bit before Zecora trusted the littlest Apple back in her hut after the Cutie Pox incident. But the foal was still eager to learn, though she still had the impatience that Zecora had tried to curtail.

Forcing the filly to prepare all the ingredients before hoof and place them in properly measured bowls had helped considerably. Currently Zecora was watching over her as she worked on something a bit more advanced than usual.

“Stir it?” Applebloom asked holding up a large spoon as Zecora shook her head.

“No thaht will do, it all needs to settle for ah proper brew.” Zecora stated as the spoon was put away.

“So this is that mix you were working on? The one that makes everything else better?” Applebloom asked.

“Not better ah would sahy, more it speeds other things on its wahy.” Zecora explained.”With this ah healing potion that normallyy would take a dahy or two, might be reduced to working by the time you drahnk the brew.”

“So it speeds up other potions durations, neat.” Applebloom smiled looking over the potion watching the oily orange colored mess bubble up towards the surface, the darker excess and waste boiling down towards the bottom of the pot.” He .. Zecora... I know it's a bit much tah ask cause I keep bugging yah tah train me, but can we cut this a little short today?”

Zecora blinked looking back at her 'apprentice' at the question.

“Ah think we can do thaht today, but what is it thaht makes you wish to be awahy?” Zecora asked.

“It's Spike's birthday or hatching day or what ever today. Twilight hatched him at tha start of the new year when she took Princess Celestia's test. “Applebloom explained excitedly. “ ah still need tah run by tha farm and git tha gift ah got him.”

“Ahh I see now the case. It would be ahmiss to mahke you lahte to his place.”Zecora nodded scooping a small layer of the orange mix off the top of her potion cauldron . She quickly sealed the bottle and cleaned off the excess before wrapping it in a small wooden box with three other potions.

“Still even though this is through , there is ahnother task I have for you.” Zecora added sealing the box. “Twilight Spahrkle sent the request, for a few mixes of whaht I do best. So the last thing I have for you, is to give these to Twilight, then you are through.”

Applebloom nodded and took the small box putting it in one of her saddle bags.

“What else is in these?”Applebloom asked.

“A bit of Silphum, a bit of Everfree Thyme, and lastly some Poison Joke petals and the last of this rhyme.” Zecora chuckled.

“YEESH.” Applebloom flinched looking back at her saddle bags with worry. “Remind me to get rid of this stuff quick.”

“Ge rid of this stuff quick,” Zecora snarked. “Or the next batch you will pick.”

“Right I'm gone, see yah later Zecora.” Applebloom shouted as she raced out the door through the lightly snow covered forest.

Zecora watched her go considering lightly. Perhaps she should send something for young Spikes birthday as well.

Author's Note

here we go. count down to hearts and paws day has begun

Serval of my Excess, part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Serval of my Excess,
part 1

[Ponyville, three weeks after Hearths Warming. Tuesday, 3am]

Twilight let out a little yawn as she made her way upstairs. A glance back into the library proper made her smile. With Spike being hatched so close to Heaths Warming she had always been leery of
ponies doing the Hearth-a-Birthmas-eve bull crap. She and Rahs had called out her parents a few times on it and a number of other ponies. Her little brother didn't deserve that sort of crap.

Thankfully all her friends and Spike's understood that, and he had received just as many gifts for this as he had for Hearths Warming.

It was mostly more gaming books and figures to paint. Though Big Mac had some how found a signed poster from the creator of the Power Ponies from a cousin of his and had it magically laminated to give him.

Well, he had given it to Applebloom to give to Spike, as the filly had been super intent on giving him the best thing she could. Mac had instead passed over a number of gems he had unearthed while plowing and forgot about in a crate in the barn. None of them were worth much, but Spike's stomach didn't care.

She had expected Rarity to try for the large gem that Spike had been preparing for a while now, but aside to comment on it's beauty and ask Spike if he could grow others like it, she hadn't tried to wheedle it from him, though she had winced when he ate it.

Pinkie Pie had made two cakes again, only this time one was for Spike and was loaded with gems, and a normal one for everyone else to enjoy.

While she wasn't sure what any one else had got him, she knew Rahs had found a set of dice carved from tiger eye, and she had given him a small stack of Battle Mallet 40k books. She wasn't a fan of the dark setting, or the ridiculous price of the books and models, but Spike was trying to expand his O&O games into other areas, so more source books were better.

Princess Celestia had sent a card along with some gems and her parents had come down for the day as well with gifts. Shining and Cadence had also only managed to send a card and gift not managing to make the appearance themselves, though Luna showed up and couldn't be talked out of giving Spike a real battle ax that he could barely lift. The Princess of the night had evidently miss heard he wanted Battle Mallet things, and went with her preferred weapon instead.

[Canterlot early evening]

“Luna how could you give him a battle ax, that's not safe!” Celestia protested.

“Tis a battle ax Tia, tis not mean to be safe.” Luna offered burying her face into her bowl of cereal to get the last of the marshmallows.

“He's still a foal Luna.”

“Tis educational.” Luna responded tipping the bowl back to drink the sugary milk.

“What if he hurts himself?” Celestia growled.

“Well that will be an important lesson won't it?” Luna concludes debating if she wanted toast as well as she licked the milk from her muzzle.

Thankfully Spike opted to just mount it on the wall instead of trying to swing the thing around, much to everyone but the CMC's relief.

Twilight smirked , it had been a pretty good day for Spike. He had crashed around eight and had been put to bed as every one else went home or carried some one else home given he and the CMC had school in the morning. Allowing Spike to miss one day for his birthday was one thing, but two was pushing it.

The only oddity was Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle apparently teasing Applebloom about something, that had devolved into their usual little shouting match. Though that broke up the instant Spike went to see what it was this time.

Twilight paused outside her little brothers door on her way to her own bed, pushing it open a little and wincing at the snores coming from his room. She really hoped he grew out of that. Peering inside she took note how organized everything in the room was. His bookshelves and chests of figures and treasures we set neatly. A desk on one side with a lamp to help him paint. And just under the window a foal sized bed that he usually curled up in the middle of.

Twilight blinked as she stared in the room looking at the sleeping figure. She stared a moment more before opening the door further allowing more light into the room. She stared longer before turning on the rooms light. She further stared, her magic yanking away the Power Pony Blanket over the sleeping form.

“The buck!?!?”Twilight finally managed as she looked over her little brother, grown enough to be hanging off all sides of the bed, his muzzle more angular and body more gangley. He had to be the same size as Rahs now.

Speaking of which.

“RAHS!!!”Twilight bellowed.

Either her tone or volume woke her brother as he came stumbling out of his room across the hall with a crash spotting Twilight and rushing over to the door to see what she was staring at in front of Spike's room.

“It's too early, still dark out.” Spike grumbled rolling over in bed and pulling the pillow over his head showing a rather impressive row of spines along his back now.

Rahs stared a moment at the much larger form of his little brother.

“Bork?”

“That's what I said!” Twilight shouted.

"Seriously guys, what time is it...” Spike growled slowly sitting up in bend and smacking his head against the shelf over his bed, bringing a yelp from him as all the books and models came tumbling down to bounce of his head and body.

Spike growled rubbing his head sitting up again before noticing the changes he had under gone.

“The Buck?” Spike gasped.

“Lang..... no, never mind that's an appropriate response.” Twilight gave in. ”This time.”

[Ponyville General Horsepitol]

The white maned gold coated stallion raised an eyebrow looking at Spike as he stepped into the room. He paused at the door looking up at the six foot dragon sitting on the edge of the table. A slow glance to the side showed a canine of some kind looking over a pamphlet for high blood pressure , and a purple unicorn pacing showing many of the signs the pamphlet listed.

He glanced to the chart before him noting that one of the nurses had gone through all the preliminary check in for one of them named 'Spike'.

He frowned ripping the paper off the clipboard and throwing it into the waste bin by the door.

“I am getting quite sick of these pranks.” Doctor Borborygmus frowned.”While I understand hazing the new guy might be a tradition, you can stop now.”

“What?” Twilight blinked as Spike and Rahs looked at each other in confusion.” What are you talking about.

“This is a pony hospital and I'm supposed to treat a lizard or a dog? The vets office is three blocks down the street, take them there.” Doctor Borborygmus snorted turning to head out of the room in a huff.

“Excuse me, this is my little brother you are ignoring... how bout you come back here and do your job and check him out.” Twilight stated.

“I don't deal with animals!” The doctor snapped.

Twilight frowned. “You make it sound as if I was simply asking you politely to do your job.”

Twilight's horn glowed and the door slammed in the doctors face as he was yanked bodily back into the room and brought hovering upside down at eye level with a pissed off unicorn with a slightly smoldering mane.

“Put me down!”

“Listen here you soon to be professional bed pan changer, who will be stuck with that title for the rest of your life if you think of staying in the medical field when I'm done with you any way. My brother, Spike Sparkle, the Dragon has gone through a massively unexplained and unexpected growth spurt. His messenger breath is not working, and my skill in the medical fields is rudimentary at best when it comes to diagnosis. This is why we are here so you can use what knowledge you have in that ivy school league brain of yours to see if you can find what is wrong with him. My initial scans only showed up the remnants of Discordian chaos that has been in all three of us since last summer. Either I'm doing the wrong scans or I am missing something that your seven years of medical school might notice. But with that attitude I am inclined to believe you got your Doctorate from the same place that damn ax did, or a gumball machine.” Twilight growled rather than spoke. “I am highly stressed that there is something wrong with my baby brother, you have kept us in this room for an hour waiting on your slow ass. I have yet to sleep today and if you don't make with at least some attempt to figure out what is wrong with Spike I WILL DO SOMETHING, NOT NICE!!!”

“Rrrrrrr” Rahs added.

“You doing something to him afterward implies that I will be leaving anything left for you to do something to.” Twilight snapped.

The door to the room burst open and a pair of very large ponies stepped in with an older Guard who had been assigned the front lobby as a less strenuous position.

“We heard shouting what's going on?” The Guard demanded.

“Oh thank Celestia. Guard escort these three out of here and make her put me down!” Doctor Borborygmus demanded.

The Guard blinked, slowly glancing to the two orderlies who were staring at the ones in the room with clear worry. He then looked over at the Moon Dog, the Moon Dog sized Dragon, and a pissed off bearer of the Element of Magic.

After another look to the burly orderlies who were staring pleadingly at him and a moments more consideration, the Guard spoke up.

“Miss Sparkle is this stallion bothering you?”

Author's Note

This may wind up taking longer than i thought.

Discord Channel is being posted again. https://discord.gg/hx6pcda

if you want to ask questions, talk about the chapter, and get small tidbits into how my demented mind works come on n. It's a free service and i don't use the voice chat as much as the text.

granted in an effort to prevent spammers to say anything you need to register an email and be on the channel for ten mins, but it's better than every new person suddenly trying to tell me about single nude girls in my area 2 seconds after logging in.

Serval of my Excess, part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Serval of my Excess,
part 2

[Ponyville, seven AM, Golden Oaks Library.]

The Element bearers, plus the CMC and Rahs stared up at Spike.

The small building sized dragon stared back at them looking a little ashamed at the trouble he was causing.

Twilight had taken him to the vet, with much protesting, after a less suicidal doctor had taken a look at him at the hospital. The vet had brought up he was healthy looking for a reptile, so it wasn't any sort of sickness. That hadn't calmed Twilight or Rahs any, but they let him be because he at least tried. They had even gone out to see Zecora as well, though she hadn't had a clue aside to make sure that the vials she sent were still sealed and put away. Everfree thyme might do something like this by super aging him, but upon getting home the flasks Applebloom had delivered were still where they were in the basement lab unopened.

About that time they had noticed Spike had gotten bigger and was no longer speaking in coherent sentences. The rest of the town was starting to notice too.

The CMC had shown up to walk Spike to school and the trio had freaked out a bit, drawing more attention than Twilight and Rahs had wanted, and soon the whole student body plus a number of other ponies had been woken up and were starting to freak out over a large dragon being in town.

Comet Trail and the other Guards who responded to the calls of 'Dragon' were briefed by Twilight of the situation and they set out to try and calm every pony down. The other Element bearers were gathered just in case and Rainbow Dash had been sent off with a letter for the Princesses. The Element of Loyalty was still in Canterlot any way.

Twilight was going through all her books with the other girls helping out as Rahs stayed with Spike and the CMC, to stop them for trying for a dragon slayer or dragon rider cutie marks.

By nine they had found nothing, and when they came back outside Spike was now the size of a small building and barely speaking in monosyllabic words.

He was also trying to eat Sweetiebelle's gem encrusted saddle bags and ignoring Rahs who was hanging off one of his shoulders fussing at him.

“AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Sweetiebelle screamed as she was swung around, still wearing her saddlebags.

This of course made a number of ponies who were watching start to freak out that Spike was attacking a foal, which started the usual panic and screaming that Ponyville was known for.

Which of course confused Spike who barely seemed coherent of what was going on into starting to get caught up in the panic. He let go of Sweetiebelle to call out to ask what was wrong, only for a massive roar to come from his muzzle, which caused even more panic , and caused him to panic and try and run off from what ever made the roar, that he just made.

Rahs screamed out as he tried to remain clinging to his now much bigger brothers shoulder, while Pinkie Pie some how now rode on Spike's other shoulder cheering like it was a roller coaster ride.

This was still an acceptable result as Spike was dodging most things as he ran about, scaring himself with his own roaring as Rahs tried to calm him down and Pinkie enjoyed the ride.

At least until he rounded a building and came around the other side as a nearly full grown dragon in a full fear filled panic rampage.

That was when the real screaming and property damage started.

It still might have been fine if they could get him out of town, but some of the Guards started acting to try and keep him out of the more populated areas that he was running towards.

A few blocking spells and a stun bolt or two didn't go over well.

While they were later commended for the effort at trying to save ponies who might still be at home from a rampaging dragon, they were also instructed to keep away from Twilight and Rahs for a while.

“Well at least he's not smashing any buildings intentionally...” Rarity sighed watching with the others from the Golden Oaks balcony

* BOOOM *

“My Cabbage stall!”

Twilight glared at Rarity.

“Well I mean at least he's not setting anything on fire.” Rarity added quickly.

* FWOOOOOOSH!!! *

“Ahhh, I only had two more payments left!!!”

Fluttershy and Applejack now were now glaring at Rarity as well.

“Well at least he's not quietly moving off to sit down and think about what he's done until the Princess gets here.” Rarity stated once more before waiting a moment expectantly.

* BOOOM *

“Noooo not my cans, my priceless antique tin cans!!”

“Well it was worth a try.” Rarity shrugged.

“JANE STOP THIS CRAZY THING!!” Pinkie Pie screamed as Spike thundered past them smashing into another building amid more screaming and panicked growling.

“Stop the ride, I wanna get off!!”

“What is keeping Rainbow Dash?” Twilight demanded.

[ Canterlot]

“No one gets in to see the Princess without an appointment!” Starched Collar stated flatly standing in front of the rainbow maned pegasus trying to push her way into the throne room.

“Seriously ? You again?” Rainbow Dash sighed.

[Ponyville]

“Guys... we gotta figure out a way to stop this, or Spike's gonna be grounded …. like forever!” Applebloom flailed.

“He tried to eat me!” Sweetiebelle snapped. “Groundings too good for him!”

“He tried to eat your saddlebags. And he does that even when he's not a giant rampaging monster.” Scootaloo sighed. “ But yeah. I want to help, dudes one of us, but I don't even think he can see us with as big as he is. He's not listening to Rahs or Twilight either.”

“Yeah what can we do?” Sweetiebelle

Applebloom pondered a moment as more flames and explosions happened in the town behind them.

The youngest Apple let her gaze wander as she tapped her chin, taking note of the library and the open door leading in. Her eyes light up suddenly as she gets an idea.

“Ah got it! We fight fire with fire!” Applebloom grinned.

“Wait didn't we already try for our fire fighters cutie mark?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, and Big Sis Luna said we couldn't build any more flame throwers after we set that ice sculpture competition on fire.” Sweetiebelle pouted.” I didn't even know snow could burn.”

“No that's not what...., just come on!” Applebloom shouted, running off into the library. The others shrug and follow hot on her hooves.

Author's Note

And the reason for the rapid fire chapters is i want to do the Hearts and hooves chapters on and around valentines day.

Serval of my Excess, part 3

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Serval of my Excess,
part 3

[?]

A loud rumble shook the cavern, raining dust and small bits of debris down on the table where a navy Blue Pegasus mare with an amber mane and green eyes sat with a mug of coco in her hooves.

Before her was a lightly chiming mirror, that currently acted more like a window and showed a black throne on the other side of the glass.

Saturnia sighed. It took forever for her mother to answer the mirror when there was an emergency here, but she wouldn't even show up some times for a good while if she called Saturnia instead.

Another rumble and a muted roar could be heard as the 'pegasus' covered her hoof over the top of the coco as more dust and rock fell from above. Once it subsided she took another sip as she noticed movement in the mirror, her mother taking her place in the throne.

“Saturnia has everything been prepared on your end?”

“Yes mother, some how despite the 'help' you've sent me everything is still going as planed.” another rumble stopped her. “We have secured the invitations that were sent to the Element bearers, though the target has again shown up in Ponyville repeatedly. So clearly some one in Canterlot is not doing their part.”

“I do not like your tone Saturnia.”

“And I do not like the ones you sent to help me.” Saturnia sighed. “Thorax has yet to stop asking questions about EVERYTHING, but at least he's competent. Unlike Knees who if not for a particular gray mail mare, would stand out like a sore antenna at the post office. And don't even get me started about Kevin. I don't even understand Kevin, the fool refuses to even wear a disguise. How has he not ruined everything? NO ONE NOTICES HIM!!”

“Saturnia we already had a long talk about Kevin. He's the gatherer, just let him do what he does and try to ignore how he does it. It will cause far less headaches. Trust me on that.”

There was another roar and more rumbling.

“What is that?” The mirror demanded.

“Oh .. A dragon is attacking Ponyville.” Saturnia offered taking a sip of coco.

“A dragon!?”

“It's one of the Sparkles.”

“The little brother?”

“He's the size of a three story building now, but yes the little one.”

Saturnia's mother stared a moment as another rumble shook the chamber.

“You are remarkably calm about a rampaging dragon in town that is the brother of your personal target.”

“Ehh, It's Tuesday.” Saturnia shrugged as Bees ran past behind her screaming about being doomed.

[Canterlot]

Rainbow Dash glared at the unicorn before her. She really wanted to just deck him and move on, but the plethora of Guards around made the violent approach not likely a thing.

A sudden inspiration struck Rainbow Dash and she grinned a wicked grin.

“Okay two questions Mr. Uptight and stupid.” Rainbow Dash stated.

“No you cannot pass without an appointment.” Starched Collar answered.

“Not one of the questions.”

“Fine. What is it.”The stallion blinked a bit confused.

“Okay first off, are there noble ponies, who are on your list, who have entered the throne room?” Rainbow Dash asked

“Of course there are a number of noble ponies, who are on the list who have entered.”

“Okay, good, two are you a noble yourself, minor or other wise?”

The stallion blinked. “Indeed I am of a minor house …. what......”

Dash cut him off before he continued..” That's all I needed. “

With a quick motion of her wings Rainbow Dash zipped up close to the stallion, grabbed the starched shirt collar he wore and yanked it up and over his head, the material binding up to cover his eyes and ears before she yanked on the tie making it even tighter around his head before letting the now flailing stallion fall off to the side.

One of the Guards snorted in laughter though both moved to arrest the mare in question for the assault only to be greeted by a small laminated card with the Royal Seal and Princess Celestia's signature.

Dash grinned holding up her hunting license.

“You heard it guys, he said he was a noble and I've got no limit on bagging them. And he said there were more in the throne room. I have a permit to hunt them, so I need to go where they are to do so.” Rainbow Dash grinned.

The two guards looked at the permit, looked at each other, then shrugged and opened the door for Rainbow Dash.

[ Ponyville ]

“So Twi have any last minute bright ideas to save tha town.” Applejack asked.

“The Wonderbolts are here!” Pinkie Pie cheered.

“I'm hoping Princess Celestia can get a hold of Bleu and she knows what's going on.” Twilight sighed. That's the only thing I can account for being the delay.”

“And Spike trapped them under the old town hall bell.” Pinkie added.

“ What about stopping him yourself? You three tend to fight all the time, surely you have something that could ate least slow him down?” Rarity asked.

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders are here.” Pinkie Pie announced.

“Normally yes, but at this size anything I use to stop him could hurt him. If I knew what the issue was I could do something and... what the buck did you just say?” Twilight whirled looking at Pinkie Pie who had been on Spike's back a moment ago and was now sitting on the balcony with them. Rahs was still hanging on trying to calm Spike down with no success.

“She said the Cutie Mark Crusaders are here.” Fluttershy pointed to the ground under the balcony. ”What's that they have with them?”

“Girls get back inside this instant!” Rarity shouted over the edge of the balcony at the trio only to blink as a massive blue cloud of smoke engulfed the trio.

A flash of orange wings made the smoke billow around the figure ivory horns that swept back over the head of the scaled creature that burst out of the smoke into the air, a ridge of magenta ran down along the beasts back. There was a snort of fire and the flash of claws and sharp teeth as the scaled beast threw back it's head and roared.

“GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH AKK hack, cough, cough.... ow..” Scootaloo gasped falling over as she choked on a bit of the smoke around her and promptly fell out of the air where she had gotten enough lift with her wings to make it about a foot off the ground.

Twilight and the others slowly blinked as they looked down at Scootaloo, who was now a orange dragon a little bit bigger than she had been as a filly.

“Huh she turned into a dragon too. I wonder if there's a connection of some sort. I'll have to check on that later.” Twilight pondered.

The next figure to step out of the smoke was a pitch black furred vision of darkness. Her hooves sparked as they stuck the ground and her mane and tail flowed around her, the pink and purple tresses dotted with stars, her green eyes narrowed. The smoke around her billowed away from the nightmare as her horn flared and tiny wings flapped.

“THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVER!!!” Sweet Nightmare squeaked.

Rarity raised an eyebrow and huffed in annoyance as the other four giggled.

“Ah know she's trying to be intimidating, but that's adorable.” Applejack smirked.

“She's so precious.” Fluttershy coo at the little swath of darkness far below her.

“SWEET NIGHTMARE IS NOT ADORABLE, WE ARE A FORCE TO BE RECONNED WITH!!” Sweet Nightmare shouted back.

“I've got some cure shampoo mixed up just in case, we'll get them back to normal and try to figure out what the heck they were thinking. “ Twilight sighed before a massive boom made the whole balcony shake.

The smoke swirled away dissipating fully as a massive yellow and red form rose from it , standing up fully and able to look the dragon Spike straight in the eyes.

Her bow alone could have made sixteen thousand three hundred and four... and a half of normal sized bows.

Rarity calculated it.

“Oh, so that's what they were doing.” Pinkie Pie stated looking up at Appleboom.

“Oh heck no.” Applejack snapped, yelling up at the towering filly.” Applebloom you sit right there and don't ya even think about doing nothing.....stop ignoring me!!! GIT BACK HERE YOUNG MISSY!!”

“Gee what a head strong young filly. I do wonder where she gets it from.” Rarity smirked as Applejack glared at her and Appleboom thundered off.

Music

The rampaging dragon stopped and turned looking across the burning and crushed town at the massive figure moving through the smoke towards him.

The billowing smoke wafted away at the massive presence of the yellow and red maned form stomping towards him.

Something in the back of his mind was rather excited to see the giant filly. But the bestial part of him responded to the advancing creature as a threat and he roared out a challenged that shook the walls of the buildings around him sending snow billowing into the air.

The massive filly paused at the roar. She had come to try and talk some sense into Spike, though that guttural roar that was thrown at her simply got the fillies dander up. Applebloom was no stranger to a scrap or two, mostly with the other crusaders about what was gonna be that days crusade, but she usually came out on top.

Spike was normally the calm one, but here he was trashing the town and roaring at her. She needed to get him out of town now.

“Aaaaaaahhh shaddup! If'n yah won't go quietly ah'll make yah go.”Applebloom bellowed back just as loud as Spike and shook a few buildings herself and sending up more clouds of snow from the tops of the buildings with the comment.

A number of towns ponies who had been running around like mad slowed as they looked up at the giant pony in their midst now.

“Hey is that Applebloom?” one of the ponies asked the now silent mob.

“Yeah I'm pretty sure that is, look she's got the bow too.” another called out. “ That thing is huge.... it would make... at least 12 regular bows.”

“Well.... you're not wrong....”

“That's rather cute.” a third admitted.

“So the dragon attack is just a Cutie Mark Crusader thing?” yet another asked.

“Seems it. Poor things always getting into mischief.”

There were some good natured laughs from the crowds.

“I wonder what cutie mark they were going for with this one?” The first asked again.

“Kaiju big battle cutie mark?”

“Those words made no sense, apologize.”

“WAIT... what day is it?” one finally shouted.

There was a general muttering as ponies pondered the dates and some one pulled a small calendar out of their mane to check.

“Tuesday.” the one with the calendar offered.

There was silence again for a moment before a hesitant voice pipped up.

“So.... the Crusaders are crusading..... on a Tuesday......”

Once more there was a moment of silence before every pony started screaming and running around in a panic again.

“Gotta do this quick, maybe dunk him in tha lake til he cools down.” Applebloom muttered to herself wishing she had thought to bring some of her sisters rope with her to this size as she rushed at the raging dragon, her every hoof step knocking snow from the trees and the thus far undamaged buildings as she charged Spike. “Quit fightin, ahm trying tah help yah!”

The rush forward might have been an impressive tackle that would have pushed the dragon back out of the town, though it probably would have earned the farm filly a few scratches and maybe a singed mane as well had she connected.

She did not in fact, connect as intended and instead in the middle of her charge through the farmers market her giant hoof came down on a discarded banana peel. She then was sent sliding uncontrollably across the rest of the distance to impact into the giant Spike, who was stunned and confused at the dance number being done that reminded him of his sister.

Applebloom slammed into Spike, sending them both tumbling backwards to crash in the school yard with Applebloom landing atop of Spike.

The impact, while taking out a number of buildings, several snow ponies, and that one house that still hadn't taken down it's Hearth's Warming decorations, did not hurt either combatant, or the school.

It did however impact the pairs heads together in a way that when Applebloom opened her eyes, she was kissing a rather shocked looking Spike.

A Spike who after the moment of surprise had rapidly started shrinking down to his normal size as he stared up at her.

Applebloom's eyes widened further as her face turned a bright candy apple red and she took off screaming, smashing through town and stampeding back towards Sweet Apple Acres

“RELEASE ME FOUL MARE,AND I SHALL ENSURE YOUR DEATH IS MERELY PROLONGED AND PAINFUL, RATHER THAN TORTUROUS AND ETERNAL!!!” Sweet Nightmare bellowed and was readily ignored as she dangled in Rarity's magic.

Twilight was staring up at the scene as it unfolded and took note of a rather annoyed Rahs bringing a unconscious Spike back towards the library. Applebloom had taken off in a run, screaming towards Sweet Apple Acres, smashing a number of buildings and trees along the way, her face as red as her mane.

“Explain?” Twilight demanded of the two remaining members of the CMC.

“YOUR TOAST HAS BEEN BURNT AND NO AMOUNT OF SCRAPING SHALL EVER REMOVE THE BLACK!!” Sweet Nightmare shouted.

“Scootaloo.” Twilight asked directly.

“Well Applebloom kinda has a crush on Spike, and has for a while now...” Scootaloo muttered rubbing the back of her scaled head with her claws.

Twilight pressed her hoof to the bridge of her nose with a sigh.”I don't need this.”

She glanced over at the normal sized Spike who was now stretched out over her brothers shoulders as Rahs sat nearby frantically writing something down in a notebook.

“What are you doing?” Twilight questioned.

“Woof.

“I can see that you're writing but what?”

“Bark”

What? You're writing a play based on all this!? At best this is just a demented retelling of beauty and the beast.” Twilight accused.

“Wuff.”

“What do you mean it's an adaptation for the modern era? No, you know what, never mind. Just give me Spike and I'll take him up to Canterlot to be checked out myself.”

* BAMF *

“Twilight! “ Princess Celestia called out as she appeared inside the library and quickly rushed outside.

“OH, NOW, YOU SHOW UP!” Twilight ranted as a building collapsed behind her.

Author's Note

Only the epilogue left.

and guess what... FIRST KISS

IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE TOWN

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Serval of my Excess, Epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Serval of my Excess,
Epilogue

[Sweet Apple Acres, the next day]

The Sparkles and the Apples stood at the edge of one of the groves watching the normal sized Applebloom and Spike play around with some bug they found a bit further in the grove.

“So then what happened?” Grannysmith asked.

“ Well after I calmed down and Rainbow Dash got back it was explained she had to get up with Bleu, which wasn't easy. Bleu explained it as some sort of greed surge, which didn't make sense as Spike already has more than enough things to count as a horde and this was kinda a light year over all between the holidays. But Bleu figured that and pointed out we still had some chaos magic in our link probably. Though after Princess Celestia and I did another scan, what little taint was left is gone now. Evidently Discord's last 'joke' was making Spike a monster.” Twilight explained.

“Yeah I can see that. He did tha same tah Rahs” Applejack snorted watching the foals play. “How bout tha town?”

“CMC insurance covered it. No one was hurt and and most of the towns already rebuilt. Despite how it looked the snow kept the fires contained and most of the damage was superficial. Heck most of the real damage was done by Applebloom when she fell.” Twilight explained. “Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo were pretty quickly treated before Sweetie tried for world domination. What happened after she ran off?”

“Tried tah hide in tha barn.” Granny chuckled. Only she could just git her head in it and tha rest of her was sticking out. Was rambling most of the night bout running off tah Saddle Arabia tah become a goat. Ain't never seen no ponies face that red afore.”

Rahs looked over at Twilight with a smirk. Twilight did her best to ignore him.

“That would have been funny to see.” Twilight let out.

“Ah got photos.” Big mac smirked.

“So how'd Spike take it?” Applejack chuckled.

“Pretty well, he only remembered bits of what happened, he just remembered being scared then angry then surprised and that he was being kissed.” Twilight explained. “He seems okay with it though. He likes her, but they're a little young to be called a couple yet.”

“True but if this is mor'n a filly crush it should be interesting.” Granny chuckled pushing off the fence with a groan as she started towards the main house to fix dinner. “Don't think we got any Dragons in the Apple Family.”

“There's still a long ways off before that would be official.” Twilight stated. “ At least a Dragon in the Apples by relationship any way.”

Big Mac raised an eyebrow at the wording of her statement and chuckled starting off to help Granny get dinner ready with a small snort of amusement.

“What? What was that for?” Twilight demanded following after her colt friend.

Rahs watched the group of them head off before his attention was turned back to Spike and Applebloom who were laughing about something.

“So mai big brother and your sis are a thing.” Applejack stated.

“Woof.” Rahs agreed.

“And now, Mai little sis an yer little brother are looking tah be a couple too.” Applejack chuckled.

Rahs nodded at that.

“Yah git tha feeling something out there is trying tah git our families together?” Applejack commented. “ Ah me what's next me'n you?”

Rahs blinked and looked over at Applejack. Applejack turned and looked back at Rahs a moment. The pair seemed to appraise each other for a second or two before they both burst out laughing.

“Ahhh sorry Rahs, yer nice an all but ah'm pretty sure we ain't each other's type.” Applejack chuckled.

Rahs smirked waving off the apology. Applejack smelled like apples, but the underlying prey scent was still there too and that was a far bigger turn off than he tended to let on. There were a number of ponies that didn't have that scent. His sister and brother, the princesses, Trixie, a couple of the ponies about town, Scootaloo now which was interesting, and oddly Fluttershy. Still all the ones he'd met so far who had hit on him he could easily ignore, with the exception of that one pegasus mare who had the same fur coloration as him. He wasn't sure what her scent was, but it wasn't prey. There was Jynx too, but he still wasn't comfortable around her.

“So ah'm guessing Big Mac and Twi are tha ones who get tah play tha threatening older sibling when they do start dating proper?” Applejack sighed. “ Ah'd need a lil brother ta git in on that.”

[Canterlot, Cadence's secret room. ]

There was a loud thud as a sticker was slapped on a board by a pink hoof and a bit of pink thread connected the image of a red bow, with the image of a purple gem wreathed in green fire.

“HAHAHHAHA!! I SHIP IT!” Cadence cackled dancing around in circles.

[Near Ponyville]

In an abandoned grove surrounding a black obelisk with a warning inscribed on it, the trees began to howl.

Author's Note

Thus ends a chapter I've been waiting to do for a little while now. And now that the relationships have been settled, we're off to the next chapter...

Hearts and Paws Day.

Hearts and Paws Day, prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearts and Paws Day,
prologue

[Just outside Ponyville, 1 month after Spike's Birthday]

“I do not understand this at all.” the smaller gray furred figure pouted. “ What is the purpose of this... Hearts and Paws day?”

“Hooves Terri, ponies have hooves.” the larger figure answered.

“Whatever. We have paws why is it not Hearts and Paws Day for us?” Terri asked.

Jynx paused looking up from the collection of dresses Rarity had made her as she considered.

“I have no idea, but this is how ponies do things and Rahs was raised by ponies so I am doing what he should be used to.” Jynx replied, opting to take the little red dress, something in the back of her mind told her that the tight thing would be best best for this.

“So ponies use this as a day for confessions?” Terri asked still seemingly confused, though she had not been as interested in studying pony traditions as her Alpha had been in her pursuit of the Moon Dog.

“From what I understand about it yes. Lady Rarity was more than willing to give me many details about the holiday. Though I am still uncertain why she is planning to spend it 'drowning in chocolate fudge ripple'.” Jynx frowned.

Terri looked confused as well. “Is that the name of some pony she is seeing?”

“I have no idea. Though it sounds like a pony name to me. Why she would drown in him or her is beyond me.” Jynx admitted. “Ponies are weird”

[?]

“Are you sure about this? The pink monster is still out there.”Bees shuddered.

“It will be fine. Thorax said she was headed off some place with the yellow one. They are not likely to be back today. The sister is gone as well with the big red one and the dragon is in school.” Saturnia offered, a flash of green adjusting her manes length. Another flash and she made her hips a little wider and her tail longer. Males seemed to like that.

“Still isn't this a bit early to be going out there, we've not even taken out the main target, what if she shows up?” Bees whined.

“It's Hearts and Hooves Day. If it's anything like last year her consort is going to be doing his best to outlast her in their bedroom games. We already know he bought out the apothecary of stamina potions.” Saturnia smirked. “We won't be seeing either of them for a while.”

Saturnia considered as she looked herself over in a mirror again adjusting her fur color to be just a hair lighter than Rahs' and her mane and tail a bit closer match for his eyes.

“I am going to make my move now, and I will make him mine. This is the perfect holiday to do it as well. Most everyone is expecting some one to confess their love for them today. And I will claim Rahs Sparkle as mine, and we will have a hold on Equestria even if mothers plan fails.”

“And it doesn't hurt that you like him.” Bees added.

“What?!” Saturnia whirled about snapping. “ What are you talking about, this about getting the strongest. Not about preference.”

“Well, you've commented on how like a changeling he is with how he can change how he acts and moves and sounds. Then you said something about how strong he was. And isn't that why you have all those pictures all over your chambers of him?” Bees asked.

“That's for research!!!!” Saturnia shouted.

“Then why were they covered in drool?” Bees asked before he was punted out of the room by an irate Changeling Princess.

[ On The road just outside Ponyville ]

Hooves crunched in freshly fallen snow as a wagon creaked and rattled along the hidden path towards town, the light dusting of white over everything making the whole town seem to glow in the morning sun.

Lavender eyes peered out from under a wide purple hat brim and over a scarf of the same color wrapped around her neck and draped across her shoulders and back. She had planned it so her touring would bring her around here again at this time, but she didn't expect to be this spot on.

The mare smiled as she looked out across Ponyville having made it just in time. While not as big and showy as she had planned, on a holiday like this a reveal of her affections would be just as dramatic as if she had a big showy production.

“Soon Fuzzy...” Trixie Lulumoon smiled.

[ Golden Oaks Library]

A loud yawn echoed in the dark room as a large figure stirred on a over stuffed bed, a low rumbling growl escaping the pile of blankets and pillows before a pair of softly glowing orbs popped into view atop a pair of long ears that poked out of the pile.

A feline like head rose from the blankets and one eye opened showing a faintly glowing amber orb with a slit pupil.

The eye glanced over to the clock, taking note of the calendar under it and the date.

With a small snort, the ears flattened and the head dropped back down into the pile of pillows.

Nothing important was happening today.

After a moment more, a light snoring filled the room.

Author's Note

The players have been gathered.

Lets start the show!.

CUE THE THEME SONG!

Hearts and Paws Day, part 1

Author's Note

Song is sung to this tune.

Hearts and Paws Day, part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearts and Paws Day,
part 1

[Ponyville]

Trixie unhitched from her cart, blocking the wheels of the brightly colored wagon. It was going to sit in the field at the edge of town for the rest of the day. She wasn't here for a show after all, so the center of town wasn't necessary, nor was attracting attention. It was rather disappointing that she couldn't stay longer than just today. She had been hired to preform at the carnival at Neigh Orleans. Given she had already been paid for travel expenses she didn't feel the need to linger too long.

Besides, once Fuzzy knew how she felt she could always come back when there was more time for that just admitting her feelings.

Trixie paused, giggling suddenly and prancing in place as her cheeks flushed at the idea. She quickly darted to the back of her wagon pulled it open and zipping inside. A moment or so later she emerged again without her hat, and a dark blue cloak like the one she had worn at that first play with a bit of fur trim. It was still she had some how made herself up rather quickly with only a bit of makeup, that was still expertly applied. Her horn glowed as she grabbed a small package, shut her door and started making her way towards Golden Oak Library.

Jynx moved out of the burrow, her paws crunching on the packed down snow around the warrens entrance. She paused a moment adjusting her dress and white hair once more, the long tresses were done up in a number of braids that spilled over her back and shoulders. She thought the scant dress wasn't a good fit given her size and muscular build, but Terri had convinced her otherwise.

It had taken her a bit longer to leave than she liked due to a few mutts deciding to try their paws at getting her attention. A few of them that were a bit too into trying to get their paws on her, and would likely have to be pulled out of what ever wall she implanted them in by her guards later.

At the very least she knew she looked good if those idiots were all over her. Still there was currently only one dog who she wanted that sort of attention from.

Her assistant Terri padded up to her offering her a long box that had been decorated rather neatly and was filled with roses for the Moon Dog. That was what she was told ponies gave each other for this day.

“I will be back by dark Terri.” Jynx smirked.”Wish me luck.”

“If this dog straight you need not luck.” Terri huffed crossing her arms over her chest.

Jynx laughed setting off across the snow towards Golden Oak Library.

Saturnia sighed glancing down the ally before she emerged from the concealed door. Her hips swayed a little as she kept a small cask nestled between her wings the gaudy decoration on it perfect for the holiday. The 'pegasus' mare had set herself up perfectly, perhaps a little too well given how excessive some of the whistles and cat calls she got.

She had taken a little more time than she liked getting the details down on her 'cutie mark'. She had wanted something that gave the impression of the same interests as him, while still different enough that it didn't look as if she was stalking him.

A simple drama mask pattern with a wreath of green flame around it. It was simple, yet also taunting to any one who might know of her kind. A trait she had yet to be able to shake unless she needed a perfect disguise, her marks always had a green flame in them.

Of course at this point she didn't need to be subtle, this was the one holiday where they would feed well, even if they didn't have a special some one themselves.

Not like Saturnia wasn't planning to change that last bit.

Still, she was taking a chance at this. Her mother had not given her the go ahead for this and she needed to focus on the main mission, not her own wants. Still with all the gatherers out in force collecting this harvest, nothing else would be done this day, so her time was her own.

With that, she made her way towards Golden Oak Library.

A light piano aria started from some where, the sound filling the air as an illusion focused unicorn, a changeling princess disguised as a pegasus, and a amazonian built diamond dog alpha walk into Ponyville.

“He'll look at me,
here where we last parted.....” Trixie smiled as the song started taking off , her tone clear and mellow as she fell back into long practiced vocals.

“He'll look at me
I've not even yet begun....” Saturnia offered her voice a fairly higher pitch than normal, as she started singing.

“He'll look at me
I'm starting at chapter one...” Jynx let out with a surprisingly smooth, if husky singing voice.

“Yet there's a still a chance for me..
he'll look at me..
on ponies I am now wiser
He'll look at me.
Though still alone upon my throne
I'm set to move, and make him my own..”

The diamond dog alpha made her way through the town, most giving her a wide berth, though a number taking note of her and her song, tapping out a rhythm to it as it progressed. There did seem to be more pegasi then she was used to seeing in town today though.

In another part of the town, the song continued.

“A delicious light is shining,
make him mine...
as I said
make him mine..
I'll make him see
how perfect a mate he'll be
for this queen to be
if I can just get past his sister, and the Princess of the Moon.
His mind and heart
fall prey to my art
my hive of one
with him now added soon.”

Saturnia sang along to a song she herself seemed to hear, though there was a musical accompaniment from seemingly every where as music seemed to come from everything and a piano played over all of it .

In another part of the town, the song continued.

“He'll look at me,
I'm well worth seeing
A work of art beyond compare...
He'll look at me
my life's a stage
one I will happily share
if I can just say what he means to me
He'll look at me.”

Trixie smiled as she sang, taking note of a few things as the music filled the air around her. She wouldn't be a proper entertainer if she couldn't recognize the heart song that had developed. But why did parts of it seem empty?

“And this day holds the key..” all three of them added as the pace sped up driving them all towards a familiar tree ahead of them.

“He'll look at me
I'll have the power...” Saturnia sang.

“He'll look at me,
I need to muster my self-esteem...” Trixie continued.

“He'll look at me,
The source of my desire,fulfillment of a dream...” Jynx smiled moving closer to the tree her severed tail wagging.

The trio start singing again not even noticing their voices are overlapping.

“And in my soul and in my heart,
I've the courage to admit.
I've found my flame, I've found my amor
the Moon Dog I love
he'll be mine all mine, forever!

He'll look at me...
He'll look at me...
He'll look at me...”

Trixie Lulumoon, Lady Jynx, and Princess Saturnia trail off, their song coming to a stop as they wind up facing each other outside of Golden Oak Library.

Hearts and Paws Day, part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearts and Paws Day,
part 2

[ Ponyville, Golden Oak library]

“WHO ARE YOU TWO!?”

The shout echoed around the square where the library was situated and drew the notice of every other living creature in the area save one. Twilight's sound proofing on their rooms due to Spike's snoring was top notch spell work after all.

It didn't take long however for the locals to deduce what the trio where there for, to move the minimum safe distance for solo Sparkle shenanigans and for bets to be placed.

“Don't give Trixie that. You were both part of that song, who the buck are you two?” Trixie demanded falling back into her persona. She wasn't sure on the pegasus, but the Diamond Dog towered over her and seemed a wall of pure muscle. She needed the extra courage she could muster to even deal with this beast, and the stage braggart she used for hecklers was perfect.

“That should be my question. Mare.” the pegasus snorted, Dammit why didn't Bees mention these two were here after Rahs? She was going to have a long talk with that bug, and by 'talk' she meant hammer and by 'have' she meant hit, the long part was right though.

“I would think that out of all of us I deserve the answer to that as why you two would be after a one of my kind.” Jynx growled.

“Fuzzy is not one of your kind, Fuzzy is a Moon Dog.” Trixie snapped.

“Several centuries of violent culture and history would have me disagree with you on that.” Jynx replied.

“Yet that doesn't explain why you are here.” Saturnia demanded.

“Stuff it little bug.” Jynx growled sparing a glance at the 'pegasus' making her flinch.

“Indeed. Stay out of this harlot.” Trixie added

“HARLOT!?” Saturnia growled.

“Please. What other reason would you need to use that much illusion magic to make yourself look more like Fuzzy. Same coat color, mane and tail the same as his eyes and Trixie can easily tell you've had exstentions on them.” Trixie scoffed causing Saturnia's eyes to widen.

“How the buck!?” Saturnia stammered, this was unprecedented, had she seen through her disguise?

“Trixie is a master illusionist and your paulty tricks are fooling no one.” Trixie waved a hoof dismissively.

Jynx blinked, a little surprised that the unicorn had seen through the bugs costume, even partially. She was also curious as to why the unicorn smelled of gunpowder and gelatin. The bug was hardly an issue to her plan, this one might be.

Saturnia cursed, this was going far to much against her, she had nothing on this mare and she had no desire to start something with a diamond dog. Still she refused to back down. She decided to skip ahead before one of them tried to drive her off.

“My name is Saturnia. I am here ask out Rahs Sparkle.” Saturnia snarled.” I will not be talked down to by a flea bag and a floozy who speaks in third pony!”

“Well is that not precious.” Jynx added somehow looming even more over Saturnia. “Though you are right. I do actually have a flea problem, it's just one flea though... little bug....”

“If the two of you are going to brawl do it some where else as Trixie wishes to remain clean enough for her fated return into Fuzzy's arms...” Trixie stated.

“Pfft. I have no idea what either of you are talking about. If he is going to be with anyone it is going to be me. I have been his trainer for several months now and I have never seen either of you around.” Jynx added. “I am the Wolf Fang Alpha, Jynx, by the way.”

There was a moment of silence where Saturnia looked nervous and Trixie looked confused.

“Trixie is unsure if that is a title or your full name.” Trixie questioned.

“It is a title, Jynx is my name.” Jynx replied with a sigh having forgotten how pony names usually worked.

“Well if it's titles now, Trixie is, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!” Trixie declared rolling the r's a little too much in her name.

Saturnia and Jynx just stared as some how the announcement was accompanied by fireworks.

“My title is First Princess Saturnia.” Saturnia spoke, realized her mistake, and opted to go all in.” I am the daughter of the Goddess of Change.”

The two stared at her a moment, Jynx looking a little worried now, before Trixie spoke up again.

“Oh .. one of those.”

“What?!” Saturnia snapped. “What do you mean one of those?!”

“Trixie has met a number of children of gods, princesses, and princes in her travels, including a queen or two, and Trixie does not mean stallions in drag, though she has met a strangely large number of them as well. Everything from someone claiming to be a 'god of kumquats' or whatever, to the prince of Neighjeria who wanted Trixie's help laundering money.”

Again the other two were left staring at the blue unicorn.

“Wha... What does that have to do with anything?” Saturnia growled.

“Nothing. Trixie is simply pointing out you are not special.” Trixie smirked

Jynx tried not to snort in amusement, she was starting to like the unicorn mare a bit, though she certainly wasn't going to let her win here.

“Trixie doubts either of your claims to Fuzzy are even valid.” Trixie spoke up again. “Trixie has been given permission by Princess Luna to court him.”

The pair of them stared at the show mare. Saturnia was considering calling her bluff when Jynx interrupted her with a loud sigh.

“Figures. You must be one of the others the Princesses spoke of. “ Jynx growled. ”When they gave me permission to pursue him I was told that I had to be civil with the others who wanted him.”

“Princesses? You mean Princess Luna and Princess........?” Trixie asked.

“....Cadence . Yes.” Jynx offered noting the unicorn letting out a growl of her own, likely because she had been told the same.

Trixie and Jynx both looked at Saturnia who shrugged impassively.

“I too have permission from royalty to court Rahs Sparkle.” Saturnia explained, not bothering to explain what royalty told her she could do it, or that her mother would be rather unhappy about this attempt.

“Great. “ Jynx sighed.”I was hoping to snag him before any one else showed up. So much for that.”

“Trixie is currently annoyed that she didn't do this last time she was here....” Trixie growled.

“I should have moved in when I first found him.”Saturnia frowned.

Trixie smirked. “Trixie still has the advantage. She has Fuzzy's brother helping me to woo him.”

Saturnia paled, how had she gotten Shining Armor to help her.....

“Big deal, you have a baby dragon helping you.” Jynx smiled. “ I have his friend Rarity helping me. The mare is an expert on pony courting rituals.”

Oh the younger brother. Saturnia let out a sigh of relief before realizing both of them were looking at her to one up them.

“I've asked Twilight Sparkle for permission.”Saturnia stated. Granted, she didn't say it was Thorax disguised as Twilight so she could test out a hundred plus different scenarios for how his older sister would react, they didn't need to know that, and the look on their faces made the statement worth it.

“Hmmph. Trixie see's you have brought roses, clearly Rarity isn't teaching you well enough to know that Ponies eat roses, but Rahs won't. That is why Trixie brought his favorite gummies.”

“These are bacon roses. A specialty of a chef I know.” Jynx smirked.

“Bacon....?” Trixie frowned.

“It is seasoned meat,” Jynx explained.

“Usually from a pig, yes Trixie knows what bacon is, but she has never heard of it being made into roses.” Trixie admitted.

“Oh... is that your best? Flavored gelatin he cannot even properly taste, and scraps of old meat on a stick?” Saturnia grinned shifting her gift between her wings.

“And what do you have that is so fancy?” Trixie snapped.

“A jar of Zap Apple Jam. Something that was denied him during the harvest and, if my sources are correct, that he desperately wanted.” Saturnia grinned.

“Attempting to bribe your way to Fuzzy's heart by going through his stomach, if far from a sure bet when as a pegasus you cannot produce something of your own for him to eat. “ Trixie smirked. “ Trixie's gummies are made by hoof and magically infused.”

The trio glared at one another again as if daring one of them to try and one up another with something else.

“This is starting to be a very annoying way to get pups.” Jynx grumbled finally.

“Indeed, but the offspring from such a sought after male are sure to be worth it.” Saturnia added.

“Wait pups, .. offspring........? Trixie stammered starting to turn red.

“That is usually the end result of taking a mate......” Jynx blinked looking at the blush creeping over Trixie's face seeming to turn her more purple than red.

“But, but, … we've never even held hooves, even our kiss was ...” Trixie stammered.

“YOU KISSED HIM!?!” Jynx and Saturnia both demanded, the force of the question knocking Trixie over.

“Tisk... that means I am already behind in this.” Jynx growled her ears flattening to her head.

“Time to step up the game a bit more.” Saturnia responded with a fan of her wings

“Trixie shall not let either of you win.” Trixie snapped shaking her head as she rolled to her hooves. “Fuzzy is mine.”

The trio returned to glaring at each other , none of them noticing the object of their attention had stepped sleepily out of the door of the library, walking into town yawning, without even noticing the trio were there in the front lawn.

Hearts and Paws Day, part 4

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearts and Paws Day,
part 4

[ Ponyville]

Rahs yawned again as he made his way into Ponyville, fluffing up his long coat a bit as he walked along. The weather had turned icy again after a few days of slightly warmer temperatures, though none of that seemed to bother any one out and about today.

The whole town was covered in various heart like decorations, pink hearts streamers garlands white red and pink every where. This year coral and copper also seemed to have joined the coloration as more ponies started to recognize Princess Cadence as the one to thank for these sort of things.

There was no great tradition for Hearts and Hooves day, no historic relevance at all. There was also no massive merchant conspiracy for it either like several companies had done for Santa Hooves. Turning the terrifying warrior elk god, into a jolly fat deer in a red suit with a glowing nose for Hearths Warming had been weird.

He and his sister had met the mammoth beast when he came to speak with Princess Celestia a long while back. Thankfully the massive Elk had thought the whole thing funny and had not been offended by ponies and their odd traditions. It was always good that a warrior ice god that hunted Windigos didn't take offense to things like that.

No, Hearts and Hooves day came about because of a screw up by Cadence about 50 years or before Twilight was born, during one of Cadence's trips to Canterlot before she moved there. Princess Celestia had been training her on using her magic and it got out of hoof. It had made a huge mess that was best left unspoken of, and the date had been made a holiday as a way to distract ponies as to why the capitol was going to have a bumper crop of foals in nine months. The event caught on like wild fire across the rest of Equestria.

Rahs flattened his ears as he sighed. Really one of the down sides to knowing the Princesses like he did, and having a sister like the one he had, was a lot of the 'magic' of certain holidays was fully lost once it was explained in a detail that sated Twilight.

Granted this hadn't stopped Twilight from heading off with Rainbow Dash, and Big Mac to a fancy dinner and show that Prince had reserved in Canterlot for the four of them.

Pinkie Pie had vanished and Fluttershy was probably holed up in her home like she did with every holiday. Applejack was working, no surprise there, and judging by the magic aura he smelt around Carousel Boutique, it would be best to avoid Rarity.

Still with all of the bearers occupied, and a very strongly worded letter full of menace from Shining Armor about what would happen if Twilight did something that screwed up his plans with Cadence, nothing was likely to happen today.

At least not until the CMC and Spike got out of school, though after last time they were fully banned from doing any crusading on a week day without close adult supervision.

So while everything was calm it might be a good idea to do a bit of shopping, it wasn't like he had a date or anything.

Rahs grumbled at that thought, his little brother found a filly friend before he did, and Spike had taken the time to rub it in.

Of course his options were rather limited. Ponies as a whole were pretty much off the list as he couldn't get past the fact most of them smelled like prey. A few of them didn't of course, but that was usually the ones with some sort of dragon heritage, like the Nox-Cal and the rare few like Trixie.

He briefly wondered where she had gone, he hadn't heard from her in nearly a year.

There was the mystery mare as well that kept popping up and trying to talk to him. She didn't smell like prey either, but she didn't smell like a dragon. Most dragon ponies either had a gunpowder like scent or a sulfuric one, she smelled sorta like a griffon, it was odd. He got the idea she was some what interested in him, but she always seemed to take off whenever Pinkie Pie or Twilight popped up so he never really understood what she wanted.

Of course there was Jynx as well, though he doubted she would be interested in him. She was the Alpha of her pack after all, she was probably swarmed with suitors. Besides she still terrified him, and it had nothing to do with his encounter with the Bone Hounds. She was like the Diamond Dog equivalent of Big Mac.

He wouldn't deny she was attractive, but he also wouldn't say that in her ear shot.

He stopped suddenly his ears perking as he thought he heard a shriek. Looking around he saw a number of ponies milling about going about their business, but none of them seemed concerned with the noise.

He shrugged.

It was probably nothing. Some pony probably got a super gift and couldn't contain themselves.

Jynx growled stuffing the pegasus mare into a dumpster before pouring the potion out on the ground. The mare cursed and shouted at her from inside the steel bin though she was unharmed, just coated in yesterdays produce.

Jynx ignored it setting another dumpster atop the first to make sure she didn't get out any time soon. She wasn't sure where the other two seeking Rahs' affections went but she had spotted the pegasus rushing up to dump the potion vial on Rahs. She had manged to snatch the annoying pony out of the air and stop the attack, but looking out across the street she had lost sight of the Moon Dog.

Letting out a low growl she darted back into the street trying to find him again before the others did.

Rahs put his paws in his pockets as he looked up at the clear sky. Another snow storm was scheduled for later tonight, something to help the holidays' lovers cuddle up more.

He offered a wave to Lyra and Bon Bon as they walked past, going about their business. He should probably check to see if anything showed up for him at the post office. Were they even open today?

Sweetie Drops's ear twitched and she reacted without thinking while Lyra was distracted looking back at Rahs.

The vial had arced their way and she had snatched it out of the air with a hoof emptied the contents on the ground and launched the vial back with enough force to bean the attacker and send her tumbling off to bounce off a shop wall. Sweetie Drops wasn't sure what was in the vial, she wasn't sure why it had been thrown in their direction, but instinct took over and the attacker was out of commission. She'd report this later, but for now she'd keep an eye out for any more suspicious pegasi with vials of strange liquids.

“Everything alright Bonnie?” Lyra asked.

“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry. I just zoned out for a moment. What was that about Rahs?” Bon Bon asked.

“The pot for when Rahs notices Trixie has the hots for him has hit close to four thousand bits. And half the original bets will be lost if he doesn't catch on today.” Lyra explained.

“Hmm, I saw her wagon earlier, she's in town so he just might. “Bon Bon considered.

“I hope not. I put my bits on her becoming a super villain and challenging Twilight to a duel for possession of Rahs before he finally figured it out.” Lyra explained.

“Okay you either need to quit gambling all together, or stop making such silly bets.” Bon Bon sighed.

Rahs stepped through the door, the little bell jingling as the door closed behind him. He shook out his coat working out the cold as he wiped off his rear paws on the mat.

There was a splatter as something hit the window behind him. Turning back to look he saw a spatter of water against the glass and let out a sigh as he smirked, he had just missed a snowball.

He turned back, heading into the book store, missing a green eyed stallion with a brown coat and sandy blonde hair being flung through the air to impact two pegasi mares trying to get into the shop after him.

Rahs blinked looking back again swearing he heard some one scream 'Not the Bees'. Seeing nothing, he shrugged again and started looking over the new release section of the book store.

Ah, the new Double Moon book, Ancient Amour, was out.

“Look there he is.” a pink and yellow maned mare muttered to a Phthalo green and pale gold maned pegasus mare next to her.

“You think this stuff will work?” the gold mare questioned looking at a vial in her wing.

“The guy who sold it said it was 100% guaranteed to do something if he was splashed with it or drank it.” the green mare muttered.

“Yeah but 100% guaranteed to do what?” the gold mare questioned.

“Cure the curse of course. They said that super handsome pony we saw in Cloudsdale was cursed and that diamond dog is him. It's a tale as old as time, yah know beauty and the beast? We cure him and he'll fall in love with us, just like the stories.”

“I think that was stock-home syndrome. But ehh, whatever.”

The pair looked over at the navy furred diamond dog reading a book as he walked down the snow covered street, somehow managing to avoid running into any pony as he did so.

“Right here he comes, get ready.”

“Now!”

The pair zipped out slinging the 'cure' on the diamond dog, the potions gracefully arced through the air hitting him point blank, then passed through him with a shimmer as he continued to walk on seemingly to not having noticed any of it.

“What?” the gold mare asked.

The navy furred diamond dog made it a few more steps more before he faded away with a light poof.

The pair looked on in shock as Trixie's illusion faded.

“Ahem.” stated a voice.

The two pegasus turned back to see three earth pony mares glaring at them, water dripping from them and the massive Nox-Cal behind them.

“Umm …. oops?” the gold pegasus muttered before a pink hoof connected with her muzzle.

“You know you probably shouldn't have done that.” Lodestone chided as the trio of mares led him along a bit quicker.

“It was self defense.” Lily snorted.

“Seriously, they attacked us first.” Rose added.

“Who throws freezing water in the middle of winter.”Daisy agreed. “Though now we really need to get you back home to dry off.”

“Yeah can't have you getting a cold.” Lily purred.

“Though we can take care of you if we need to, I am a registered nurse trainee.” Rose added.

Behind the four of them, two battered pegasus mares twitched where they had been deposited head first into a snowbank.

Author's Note

Yes that was Saturnia flinging Bees at the two pegasi.

Hearts and Paws Day, part 5

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearts and Paws Day,
part 5

[Ponyville]

“Every bucking time!” Saturnia growled, storming through town, she was tired a bit battered, and some idiot had cracked the jar of jam and it was making her sides sticky. While the idea of doing that later in the bed room was thought of, by this point she was just going to smell like an overturned apple cart. “I can't get within speaking distance of him before some stupid pegasus shows up, and by the time that's dealt with I have to find him again!”

“Umm please don't throw me any more.” Bees muttered as he staggered after her. He had been on the bad end of a number of mares who thought he was getting fresh after Saturnia had flung him at them bodily.

“I don't need to. Disguising myself as Rahs was a perfect plan to get one of them to tell me where they got the potion.” Saturnia growled. “Time to cut this off at the source.”

“Can I go home now?” Bees whined.

Jynx was less than thrilled as she stomped through town. Her cute little red dress was messed up, her hair a mess and she was splattered with dirt. Plus the bacon flowers were scattered all over the ally a few blocks away. Some of the pegasi had turned out to be pretty good scrappers in the end and she hadn't wanted to hurt them too badly. She had been so busy keeping the flock of pegasi away from Rahs that she had yet to get close to him herself as he did his shopping.

Still with some rather angry questioning of a particularly annoying mare, she had found out where they were getting the vials from.

While she had been prepared to fight for Rahs' affections, this was a bit ridiculous.

It was time to put a stop to this.

Trixie was pissed. She hadn't managed to get any where near Fuzzy all day, she had a headache from the countless illusions she had been casting, her gummies had been trampled in a minor riot that broke out, and she was completely out of fireworks.

Well out of fireworks that she carried with her, her wagon was still full of them.

She had finally tricked one of the pegasi into giving up the source of the potions by creating a complex illusion of the potion working. As the pegasi was rejoicing, Trixie had shoved her in a frog pond and dispelled the illusion while she was floundering around in the ice cold water like a over turned duck.

She had tried to be nice, she had tried to not be angry, she had even tried negotiation once.

Evidently 'proud former warrior' race translated to 'complete imbeciles' in the pegasus language.

Which was something that worried her.

If Saturnia was a pegasus, who cast those illusions on her?

She wasn't a god herself, if she was there was literally no point in her being subtle about her courting of Fuzzy, not to mention she said she was the daughter.

The children of a god were considered demi gods. They usually had no real powers from their parents , but were effectively immortal unless something killed them. The grand foals of gods were mortal, but were usually pinnacles of their race, the best a mortal could achieve naturally. Generations after that were just normal mortals.

So with Saturnia she was fighting with something most ponies would run from.

Trixie wasn't sure about Jynx. Her attraction seemed fairly off from what she heard about Diamond Dogs. They tended to be drawn to strength more than anything and as much as she liked Fuzzy, he was far more wiry than the bulky type that Diamond Dogs seemed to favor. That she claimed to be an alpha was odd too, as an alpha she could have had her pick of any in her pack, so why Rahs?

It was also pretty clear the massive mutt was hiding something. A number of red flags that Trixie had long identified when she started her own traveling show were all over Jynx.

Not as many as were on Saturnia, but enough for Trixie to notice.

Not that it mattered who Trixie was against. Trixie would not lose the war for Fuzzy's heart.... The blue mare couldn't help giggle and prance a little at that. All of this drama over him, when all was said and done this was perfect for the situation, Fuzzy would probably love the dramatic ridiculousness of the fight.

Still it was time to put a stop to this.

Trixie simply stared, her jaw fallen open and her left ear twitching at the scene before her.

Saturnia was muttering and growling under her breath.

Jynx had simply slapped her face with both claws and was cursing heavily in what sounded like at least two different languages.

A small line of pegasi stood in front of a a ramshackle wooden stall set up in a small park near the school. The little thing looked like it would be used to sell lemonade in the summer. Behind it was a small tent with closed flaps and covered with random archaic symbols and drawings.

What it was selling however was not anything like lemonade. 8x 10 glossy pictures of pony Rahs, for 15 bits. Strange bottled liquid, for 20 bits, little pamphlets on proper ways to break the curse using said potions, for 2 bits and hoof drawn maps of Ponyville, 1 bit each.

What caused the three to have issues however was not what the stand was selling. But the four, very short, mustached individuals running the stall. A little white unicorn filly with a bright pink mustache, a little orange pegasus filly with a bright blue mustache, a little yellow earth pony filly with a bright red mustache, and a purple dragon with a bright green mustache.

“SPIKE!?!?!” Trixie shouted drawing the attention of the mares trying to buy potions and the Cutie Mark Crusaders selling said potions.

Several of the pegasus mares having already run afoul of the trio took off like a shot, one though turned to glare at them.

“Wait your turn, it's not like the cursed prince is gonna want any of you three any weerrrrk!” the mare started to say.

The reason for her sudden silence was that Jynx had walked up slapped her hand atop the mares head, her large paw nearly covering it entirely. She then proceed to pick the mare up bodily with just that grip to bring her up to meet the pegasus' one uncovered eye with her own.

“I think you should leave.” Jynx said simply, staring at the held pegasus.

“I think I should leave.” the mare gulped and vanished like a shot the moment Jynx released her grip.

“Come on now, you're bad for business.” Spike crossed his arms looking up at them completely unintimidated.

“Spike, Trixie demands to know what the hay is going on here?” Trixie demanded what the hay was going on here.

“Seriously? It's not that complicated. “ Spike sighed. “It's discount candy day tomorrow and we needed bits.”

“ Not that, THIS!? “Saturnia questioned waving a hoof at the setup.” You're getting bits for candy by sacrificing your own brother?”

“He's fine, probably won't even leave the house.” Spike smirked.

“He did.” Jynx growled.

“Well that explains why no one was buying the maps to his 'lair' any more.” Spike grumbled.

“Spike explain now.” Trixie snapped. The Crusaders looked at each other then back to the three clearly annoyed adults before sighing.

“Fine, but only because I want you three to leave before we lose any more sales. We got let out of school early because Mrs Cheerilee needed a half day to go see her filly friend. “ Spike began.

“We really thought she was single and had a whole plot set up to get her a date today but with her having a special some pony that got shot down.” Scootaloo pipped in.

“On the way out we saw all these pegasi wandering around and I recognized some of them from Cloudsdale.” Spike continued.

“My big sister Princess Luna herself lumped any pegasus from Cloudsdale into the paparazzi hunting permit Spike has after they nearly got Rahs killed.” Sweetiebelle squeaked.

“So I stopped one and asked them what they are doing and she told me they found out that Rahs lived here and she was here to ' make him hers'. “ Spike gagged.

“Ah didn't even know that eyes fulla hearts thing could be literal.” Applebloom added. “ Really creepy stuff.”

“Anyway, rather than run them off I decided to open the booth here to sell some of the excess photos I have of Rahs. That's been a very lucrative side business before today and it's even better now.” Spike shrugged. “One of them asked me about the non-pony images and I tell them Rahs was cursed.”

“She gets it in her head to try and find a cure for it and Applebloom, who was distracted fawning over Spike, pipes in that Zecora's out in the Everfree with a cure, but that as her assistant she knew how to make it.”Sweetiebelle giggled.

“Ah ain't fawning over nothing.” Applebloom grumbled though both she and Spike turned a bit red.

“So she makes a cure for poison joke, the mare confused it with a beauty and the beast style cure for Rahs being a Moon Dog. She tells every one else and suddenly we've got a line of mares wanting the cure.” Sweetiebelle finished.

“Long story short, we're selling poison joke cure and Sweetiebelle's just been making it glow for added effect.” Spike shrugged.

“My big sister taught me how to do a light spell, but it's not too bright yet.” Sweetie protested.

“But the runes....” Saturnia pointed out.

“Oh they're from one of my games. Pretty much nonsense stuff where the creators got it in their head to make a new language.” Spike shrugged. “Going by the game books the runes actually spell out 'poison joke cure' or 'idiot' I'd have to re-look at my books to be sure.”

“So you mean to tell Trixie..... that Trixie has been running around protecting Fuzzy from..... soapy WATER?” Trixie demanded in a near shriek.

“Of course not. You've been making us bits too. These pegasi keep coming back for more after they lose what we sold them.” Spike stated.

“How is this legal?”Saturnia growled.

“Captain Comet Trail came by with his filly friend and said we were clear so long as Spike had his permit cause what we were selling was actually a cure for a curse and there's no false advertising involved.” Applebloom stated. “My sister wasn't too thrilled with thinking we was fibbing, but we really didn't lie about anything. We just told them he was cursed, not telling um which image that was, and sold them what the cure was to that curse really was.”

“And the mustaches?” Jynx asked the glaringly obvious question the other two seemed to be ignoring.

“Cause mustaches are cool.” Spike stated as the four of them proceeded to twirl the large bushy mustaches at the same time. “Plus it makes us look older and some of them were leery of buying things from kids.”

The trio of females stared menacingly down at the fillies and dragon, weighing the odds of survival as well as their chances with Rahs if they flung them into the nearest lake.

Such thoughts were stopped as two ponies trotted up to the stand.

“Hey Spike, girls, business going well?” The Nox-Cal Guard Captain, Comet Trail asked.

“Pretty good, we should be able to clean out Barnyard Bargains for the discount candy tomorrow.” Spike smirked.

“Good to hear. Anyway you four don't happen to know who owns the cart parked on the edge of town do you?” Comet Trail sighed. “I hate to be working on my day off but it seems the owner of the land there got annoyed at the cart parked on her property and called a friend of hers to tow it to his impound yard. I'm trying to find the owner to let her know it's not stolen, just being towed to Canterlot where his impound yard is. Bit of a dick move if you ask me, but legal as the guy towing it is a licensed repo.”

“ TRIXIE'S CART!” Trixie yelped taking off like a shot towards where her cart had been.

“Oh well... that was easy then.” Comet Trail shrugged. “Works over, shall we get back to the date?”

The Nox-Cal guard smirked looking over at the giggling blonde maned gray furred pegasus that had been walking with him. She nodded with a smile and the pair walked off.

Jynx however was glaring at Saturnia, the grin on the bugs face spoke volumes about who really had the wagon towed.

“Saturnia … Saturnia!!!!!” a green eyed stallion with a brown coat and sandy blonde mane shouted running up to the small group.

The blue pegasus glared at the offending stallion as he all but collapsed out of breath.

The crusaders stared at the odd stallion before Applebloom noticed something.

“Hey he doesn't have a cutiemark!” Applebloom fussed before the others moved to look.

“What? Yes I do. I'm a real pony.... and shoot.” Bees stated suddenly looking back at his flank and seeing it blank. His eyes widened before he quickly turned around showing his other flank had a small Bee on it. “It's just on this side see.”

The girls seemed a bit disappointed, Jynx was amused, and Saturnia slapped her face with her hooves.

“Bees.... what do you want....?” Saturnia demanded in a growl that spoke of untold menace.

“Oh you're mothers on the mirror, she wants to talk to you and she's not really happy you're out and about today.”Bees reported quickly.

“WHAT?! Who told her I was out?” Saturnia paled, something the crusaders had their attention drawn to as the dark blue pegasus literally paled to be a more pastel sky blue.

“Oh, I did.” Bees admitted.

“WHY would you do that!?!” Saturnia nearly shrieked.

“Because she asked.” Bees stated simply.

For the second time a pony took off like a shot from the Crusaders stand racing back into town in a panic.

Bees however pronked along after her at a more sedate pace, after all he wasn't in trouble, not yet any way.

Jynx smiled a little before looking over to Spike. “Do you know where your brother is now?”

“Probably at home. Like I said I didn't even expect him to leave the house.” Spike shrugged. “So are like .. the three of you interested in him then?”

“Would we have done all this if we were not?” Jynx questioned.

“I dunno, adults are weird.” Scootaloo added.

Jynx smirked making her way towards Golden Oaks Library. Seems she had won this, she was the only one left.....

A rumble at her paws made the large Diamond Dog step back as the ground opened before her and a graying furred head popped up out of the hole looking around. The small calico pup on the canines back made Jynx sigh as it's cheerful yip made the mother whirl about to look up at her.

“Of course. What is wrong Terri?” Jynx let out a small whimper.

“Alpha... Rex convinced the other dogs you abandoned pack. He trying to make himself new alpha.” Terri shouted.

“I have not even been gone a full day!”Jynx growled.

“They say it feel like you gone forever.” Terri stated.

“Terri I have not managed to even talk to Rahs today yet.” Jynx rubbed her temples.

“They already fighting.” Terri whined.

“FIIIIIIINE!” Jynx growled as the smaller dog dropped down the hole and Jynx stepped in after her , the tunnel rapidly filling up as the pair left.

Spike and the Crusaders watched with some interest the goings on in front of her before Scootaloo spoke up.

“Should I tell Rainbow Dash about the new betting pool?” Scootaloo asked.

“Oh yeah.” Spike grinned.

“Big Sister said she wanted in on the next one.” Sweetiebelle stated.

“So does mai brother.” Applebloom added.

[ Golden Oaks Library]

Rahs stretched out on the couch reading his new book as he took another bite out of an apple. Spike should be home before too long, Twilight was probably gone for the night. No giant disasters had happened, no Princesses or monsters based on the holiday showed up.

“ I need more calm days like this around here.”

Author's Note

Who bid on him not even noticing?

Hearts and Paws Day, epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Hearts and Paws Day,
epilogue

[?]

"Crikey would yah look at that, tha male didn't even notice all tha flaunting tha interested females were doing." Discord said proudly waving his bird hand at nothing.

“Such a shame too, given he's tha last of his kind heah, one would think tha urge tah reproduce would be immense, if'n fer nothing else than tah shut Loonie up.”

Discord smirked looking at the camera adjusting his pith helmet and smoothing out his jungle shirt.

“But all hope is not lost for our luckless male, despite the challenges presented tah them , it's pretty clear that tha females are not yet deterred and they'll come tah butt heads once more fer their chosen mate.”

Discord vaguely gestures into the sky.

“But which will tha blighta choose. Tha grade a specimen of an alpha bitch... who looks like the creator took her from ah yiff site....”

A can of coke was bounced off Discord's head from off screen followed by angry rabbit noises.

“A bug with mommy issues that could be anything he'd want her tah be?” Discord waggled his eyebrows until they fly away into the sky like a little bird. He frowns watching them go before pulling out a razor and dragging it over where his eyebrows used to be forming new ones before tossing the razor away.

“Or maybe even the little sad excuse for a unicorn that only latched onto him because he was nice to her when she was younger?”

A great deal of booing comes from a server named after him, and Discord thumbs his nose in their general direction.

“Crikey maybe even tha whole city of Cloudsdale'll git him, I mean what guy wouldn't want to have hundreds of mares fawning over him?”

Discord chuckles.

“A smart one, that's who.”

Discord grinned.

“So tune in next time fer more of the exciting adventures in Rahs Sparkle's love life. Wha!!? OOOh look at the size of that one!!!”

Discord pounces on something off screen and as the camera follows it can be seen that he's wrestling with a very large and ugly looking shoe with holes in it.

“Ain't she a beaut!?”

Author's Note

Happy Birthday to Steve Irwin

Mystery on the Friendship Ex-purr-ess

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Mystery on the Friendship Ex-purr-ess

[Ponyville library, one week after Hearts and Hooves Day, not a Tuesday]

“So let me get this straight. She ate the whole thing? The whole multi-layer cake, with a chocolate mouse moose head and doughnut city decoration. In one single bite.....” Cheerilee blinked, laying down the tiles for the word 'Isthmus'.

“ She just jumped into the air, unhinged her jaw and ate it as she landed. It was by far the most disturbing thing I think I have ever seen, and I've dealt with Rahs' diet for years.” Twilight shuddered.

“Woof.” Rahs asked curiously from the couch, not going any where near these two and their scrabble game, it could get heated.

“Oh yeah I'm pretty sure Rainbow Dash forgave Pinkie for the Mare Do Well fiasco after this. But now Pinkie's made Applejack and I mad. Everyone else got a bite or two out of that cake and we didn't even get a taste. We also spent at least six hours talking Princess Celestia down from dropping the sun on Pinkie Pie for devouring the cake before her. I mean she gave the princess a slice you'd cut for a 6 year old who you wanted to cut off from sugar.” Twilight rolled her eyes setting tiles for 'penguin' , playing off the 'u'.

“That should frighten me more than it does.”Cheerilee stated as 'squirrel' was placed off of penguin's 'e'. “I'm sure the cakes are not thrilled with it either, all that work and 'slurp', gone.”

“Not as much as you might think.” Twilight snorted looking at her tiles and simple putting an 's' after penguin, clearly annoyed at her tile set, but not willing to draw a new hoof. “ They still won first place after all, which was the goal. After all the whole point was to win and be recognized. Pinkie's deformation of her whole body definitely drew attention to their place. No bad press and all that. Also it was less a 'Slurp' and more a 'Shlorp'.”

“Bark?” Rahs questioned flipping the page in his book.

“Yeah I'm not too thrilled with Fluttershy, Dash, and Rarity right now either.” Twilight answered giving Cheerilee a glare as she built 'Sphinx' off of her recently laid 's' with the 'x' hitting a double word score.
“ I'm not worried about Dash as I'm still trying to go easy on her with how hurt she was, but I'm about to put my hoof down with how much I'll take if she tries to take advantage of it.”

“I would figure she would be too busy with her new colt friend. “ Cheerilee smirked before frowning as Twilight played off her 'x' with 'xebec'. She looked up at the mare quizzically.

“It's a small three-masted sailing ship with lateen and square sails. I started looking into shipping after hearing it was Cadence's favorite thing. Weird hobby.” Twilight explained as Cheerilee shuffled her tiles into the bag and drew again. “She is.. and it's small wonder that both of them haven't gotten killed yet. Last week they jumped of the side of the Maneterhorn.”

Cheerilee watched as Twilight put 'quais' between the 'q' and 'I' of 'squirrel' and 'isthmus'. “ Ponies do that with parachutes all the time, plus Rainbow Dash is a pegasus.” Cheerilee stated countering with 'S' in the corner of Twilight's last word and 'squirrel' taking a triple letter score.

“Her wings were bound and they both jumped off wearing canvas suits with fabric stretched between their front and back legs. And that was it no safety net.” Twilight growled building 'varus' off the upper 'us'. “They're gonna hurt themselves. Or worse.”

“This from the mare who thinks the deepest mysteries of the arcane are perfectly safe so long as you have goggles and a lab coat.” Cheerilee smirked putting 'wrier' from the top triple word score to connect to 'squirrel'.

“That's different, I live with a magic garbage disposal.” Twilight smirked, placing the word 'airflow' at a 90 degree angle from the first letter of 'wrier' starting the next dimension of the game.

“Bite me!”

“Also airflow? I know we agreed that only a weather pattern word would be allowed to move to the vertical field but that's weak.” Cheerilee chided as Rahs grumbled and stormed off to the kitchen.

“It's all I had the tiles for.” Twilight shrugged.” Besides it's not long enough to reach the top yet, so I didn't need to make it an astrological word too.”

Cheerilee sighed as she built 'yellow' off the now floating 'L' in 'airflow' her tiles floating in place as well. She glanced to Rahs as he left the room. ”I do have a question though.”

“Shoot.” Twilight stated building 'waste' off the end of 'Yellow' bringing the word back over the board, the game starting to look more like a foals attempt at building blocks than a simple game of scrabble.

“Why does your brother do that?” Cheerilee asked.

“Do what?”

“Bark half the time then every so often say something in Equestrian?” Cheerilee asked.

“Oh, that. I understand him either way so I don't even notice any more, but it's a pretty stupid reason... He... “Twilight began.

KRACK-A-THOOOOM!!!

Twilight and Cheerilee yelped as the whole tree shook, the scrabble tiles flying every where as the sonic boom shook the entire town.

After a moment or two Twilight stormed over to the door flinging it open to scream up into the sky.

“DAMNIT DASH, PRINCE!! WE SAID NOT TO FLY THAT THING OVER THE TOWN!!!!” Twilight screeched in a booming Royal Canterlot Voice at the THUNDERHEAD circling in the sky.

Author's Note

A bit of a filler episode here and probably the next one too.

A Felidae in deed.

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Felidae in deed.

[Ponyville, one week after Pinkie got out of the Canterlot dungeon, second winter after false spring.]

“ Alright first round of pay ups is over, so sorry for all of you who only gave the poor donkey ten minutes or less before giving in to Pinkie Pie, but you know the rules.” Cloud Kicker chuckled.

There was a collection of groans and general grumbling as bits were payed up and the few who were still in the bidding for the pot watched excitedly from hiding as Pinkie continued to try and befriend the new donkey in town.

“Hey Cloud Kicker, is that bidding on Rahs still going on?” Rose Luck asked as she trotted up barely sparing a glance at Pinkie Pie chasing a donkey around.

“Hmm oh yeah, but Rainbow Dash and Spike took over that pot, it was getting too complicated for me to deal with.” Cloud Kicker pointed out. “They're over by town hall office right now with the current spread. You wanna bid on the Pinkie greeting pool?”

“Nah I'm good. Thanks though.” Rose offered quickly trotting off to find Spike and Dash.

“HAHA, thirty minutes pay up!” Fireball chuckled as the donkey slammed the door in Pinkie Pies face again.

Thunderlane grumbled tossing a bag of bits to Cloud Kicker making the pot that much bigger for the winner.

“Just you and me now Carrot.” the pegasus looked over at the tired looking Mr. Cake.

“How exactly are you so confident he's going to last all day rejecting her?” Carrot asked with a small frown. “I only bid three hours due to how off Pinkie's been since Princess Celestia let her out of the dungeons, after she painted them all pink and filled the moat with Gummy Gators.”

“I've met Cranky before.” Fireball grinned. “He's the bearer of the Element of Stubborn.”

[Town hall]

“Right so the pool is set up , lets start this.” Rainbow Dash explained to the small group of ponies looking on at the large chalkboard Spike was writing on.

“Okay first off, the pool is currently at fifteen hundred bits.” Spike explained pointing to each name on the board as he spoke. “All the bits are in the bank just like it was for the flower trio pool. House takes one bit per bet as well as any gathered interest.”

“I still can't believe Rarity won that one.” Octavia sighed. “That was close to two thousand bits on those three leaving their house on a Tuesday.”

“Alright here's the rules for the new comers.” Dash offered.” Minimum bid is twenty bits. You pick who you think Rahs is gonna wind up with. You can pick one of the three or chose another name. Now for those of you who bid on the when is Rahs gonna notice Trixie pool that ones still going on same rules as before. This ones a different bet.”

“We already have a couple of bids on the three from Hearts and Hooves Day, and a few on individual pegasus, those bids are pretty much thrown away money, but hey no scales off my nose.” Spike grinned. “We've got a couple bids for particular griffons, one really creepy one for Princess Luna, and a scattering of others.”

“The pot is shared if he picks one multiple ponies have bid on.” Rainbow Dash added.”Same thing if he opts for a herd.”

“I still say that's a long shot given the hopeless romantic nonsense he has going on.” Spike shrugged.” Most of his sap stories have one to one relationships.”

“Wait, doesn't that give you an unfair advantage if you bid because you're his brother?” Mayor Mare asked.

“Nah , bookies can't bid on the pot they control, and we banned family from bidding to keep Twi and more importantly the Princesses out of this.”Rainbow Dash smirked.

“I wonder if anyone picked Applejack.” Lyra muttered.

“Stop picking weird stuff Lyra.” Bon Bon sighed. “Every Pony already knows she's not interested. She punted Sweet Water into a tree for harassing her about it.”

“I'll bid on Jynx.” Bees called out in his usual brown pony disguise.

“Seriously?” Thorax asked disguised as a gray unicorn stallion with an amber mane and tail. “You're going to bid on the Diamond Dog?”

“Oh right.....” Bees frowned, chided. “ Sorry”

“You should be. Trixie has a better chance any way.” Kevin snorted putting in his bid, with no one really noticing the bug pony.

“Can we bid on some one who hasn't shown up yet?” Time Turner called out.

“Nah, too vague unless you have a name.” Dash canceled.

“What if I have six?” Time Turner muttered considering as he played with the end of a rather long scarf he was wearing.

“Then six bids.” Spike stated looking at the Doctor oddly. He wasn't even sure what Time Turner was a doctor of, he just insisted on being called that some times. Still he usually had jelly foals to give out so Spike wasn't going to say anything.

“Alright let's get the bidding going before any one who shouldn't hear this shows up.” Rainbow Dash smirked.

[ Later Golden Oaks Library. ]

The Mane Six, minus Dash, and plus Rahs, sat around the kitchen table munching on small cookies and drinking tea, coffee, cider, or coco as their preference. Pinkie had been telling the story of how she had gotten Cranky and Matilda together.

“So after I get them to meet and they have this super moment , I kinda get ushered out. Then I came here to tell you about how Matilda finally met the one she was looking for!” Pinkie Pie chimed in grinning from ear to ear.

“How lovely.” Fluttershy added quietly.

“Ah think yah just lucked out in that yah knew about Matilda's photo album. “ Applejack snorted.” Yah almost made an enemy there ah think rather'n a friend.”

“Oh don't be such a silly pony Applejack.” Rarity scoffed.” This is a beautiful story of star crossed lovers passing like ships in the night.”

“What was that now?” Applejack demanded also wondering why anytime romance came up boats were somehow involved lately.” Who's a silly pony?”

“You're a silly pony.” Pinkie Pie chimed up.

“Who is?” Applejack growled glaring at Pinkie Pie.

“You is.”

“Applejack.” Twilight sighed as Rahs snickered.”Please don't encourage them.”

Applejack sat back with a huff grumbling about the silly pony comment.

“As a change of subject Applejack, were you and Applebloom going to participate in that Sister-hooves Social event in the Spring?” Rarity asked.

“Sister-hooves Social?” Twilight asked looking up from her coffee.

“Yeah it's an annual event, though it wasn't that big of a thing until this year. We only ever had a half dozen show up fer vittles and a bit of healthy competition.” Applejack offered. “ With all tha new faces in town it's gonna be much bigger this year.”

“Hmm...” Rarity hummed.

“I'd love to get Maud to come to one , but she's super busy with school.” Pinkie sighed adding more marshmallows to her drink before Rahs ate them all.

“Why'd yah wanna know? Yah avoided it tha last couple years.” Applejack questioned.

“Nothing nothing at all darling” Rarity smiled sipping her tea. Not noticing the strange look Fluttershy was giving her nor how the others clearly didn't believe her platitudes.

Author's Note

Another filler, though the next one might be longer.

Ponyville Cymric-fidential, prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy

Season2

By TDR

Ponyville Cymric-fidential,
prologue

[Ponyville schoolhouse, near the end of second winter and the start of real spring, no the weather team really means it this time.]

The mass of foals surge from the school house out into the yard excitedly gathering around a spindly pegasus colt.

Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo trot out after the stampede a moment or so later clearly downcast.

“Can you believe Feather Weight got his cutie mark?” Sweetiebelle sighed gesturing a hoof at the pegasus colt in particular. “ Feather Weight... BEFORE US!”

“It's a feather....” Spike chimed in as he waddled out.”What does it even mean?”

“I dunno.” Scootaloo sighed. “He said it has something to do with packing.”

“I think it was more putting things in boxes, I remember him mentioning something about boxes and rings, packing jewelry maybe?” Sweetiebelle added.

“That's what I said, though how he can put anything away with those cushioned hoof covers I'll never understand.” Scootaloo grumbled.

“Guys I got it!” Applebloom shouted skidding around the corner.”I know how we ken git our cutie mark.”

“I'll go see if Miss Cheerilee has any extra first aid kits.” Spike deadpanned.

“Shush you.” Applebloom chided as she tossed a paper to the ground before them.” Look it's the answer to our problems.”

“Foal free press? Hows this supposed to help us get our cutie marks?” Sweetiebelle demanded.

“Well there's a bunch of paper related cutie marks you could go for.” Spike shrugged.” Though knowing you three it'll involve fire and tree sap.”

“Seriously?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yer snarkier than usual today Spike.....”Applebloom questioned . “What's up with that?”

“Sorry. I'm exhausted. Rahs got a part again and he's been practicing it all night. Heck I can recite half the thing now.” Spike grumbled. “ Sing once again with me, a strange duet, my power over you, grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me, to glance behind.....”

The three stare at him as he sang out in a fairly melodic tone.

“What tha heck is that from?” Applebloom questioned.

“Specter of the theater or something.” Spike shrugged. “Whatever he dressed as for Nightmare Night the past few years. In either case his singing's getting annoying.”

“Any way, no, the idea is to work with the school paper as journalists, it's something that sounds like fun and it'll open a field of jobs in tha future if we're good enough to get a cutie mark in it.” Applebloom smiled.

“Plus if that fails you can always get your running from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie cutie marks” Spike yawned.

“Why would we do that?” Scootaloo asked.

“They have poniratzi hunting permits.” Spike pointed out.

“We're not gonna be some weird pasta, we're gonna be journalists.” Applebloom crowed excitedly. “ Come on!”

“That's not....” Spike sighed as the trio had already run off.

“This is gonna be a long afternoon.”Spike grumbled waddling off after them.

Author's Note

and cue the music. La la la laaaaaaaaaa..........

Ponyville Cymric-fidential, Chapter 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season2
By TDR

Ponyville Cymric-fidential,
Chapter 1

[Ponyville school house]

An angry looking purple scaled individual with a small mane comb sitting under his nose slammed his fists to the desk and growled.

“GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDER MARE!!” Spike bellowed sending a number of the foals in the room into giggling fits at the reference.

“Ehh, I prefer Batmare beyond.” Sweetiebelle shrugged.

“Jokes aside, what are we gonna do Spike?”” Applebloom pouted.

“With the paper? Really I don't think any one expects much more than a Namby Pamby foals paper.” Spike sighed.

“Yeah well he left last semester. “ Scootaloo pointed out.

“Ehh I guess... Hmm, okay, Feather Weight you go out and take photos of everything that seems interesting, every pony else scatter about town and see if you can find anything interesting going on. This is Ponyville, there's got to be something, monster attacks, bake sales, chaos deities. Something.”

“Right!” the gathered foals chorused and rushed out of the room.

[Several hours later.]

Spike raised an eyebrow looking down at the photos. He then looked over at Feather Weight who shrugged.

“You know I was joking when I said bring me pictures of Spider-Mare right?” Spike asked.

“Yep.” Feather Weight replied with a small nod.

“So how did you manage to bring me pictures, of what looks like a real Spider-Mare then?” Spike questioned looking at the photos of a pony dressed as Spider-Mare swinging around town and standing on walls.

“Pinkie Pie.” Feather Weight explained.

“Ahh okay, we'll put them on page four and title it Random Pinkie corner.”Spike nodded.” Lets see we have the weather forecast from Rumble, upcoming sales at Barnyard Bargains and a fashion report from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.....”

“We also have pictures and story of the Crusaders doing something stupid with tree sap.” Diamond Tiara smiled.

“That's not news, that's a Wednesday.” Spike shook his head.” Trust me on that one.”

Spike looked up as the other Crusaders trotted in the door. “Hope you guys got something, because right now the only thing I have for the front page, is either pictures of Snips and Snails getting stuck together with gum, or Rahs going off about a new play that came out and how badly it was done.”

“Ah told you interviewing yer brother was a bad idea. Ah can't even under stand what he's saying an ah ken tell it's got more drama than Rarity with a hair outta place.” Applebloom snorted.

“He just got back from Canterlot, I was hoping he at least saw something.” Spike waved his arms in the air. “Ehh I can dump it on page eight, most of it's just explaining who he and I are to the new comers in town so the Guard stops getting called. It's gotten old already.”

“Well ah got a good one fer yah then. Ah was gonna go talk to Granny Smith, cause ah'm sure she's got some interesting stories, but then ah figured ah'd go for some pony no one knows about.” Applebloom grinned.” Ah got an interview with Zecora.”

Spike blinked as a few of the other foals in the room muttered rather impressed. All of them were around when everyone in town was still freaking out over her, and the few appearances since then did little to alleviate the mystery of the forest dwelling Zebra.

Applebloom handed Spike her notes and he looked them over with interest.

“Let's see, born in Bay-ston, studied alchemy in Maresachusetts institute of technology? Three degrees? Spent six years in the Zebralands learning from the few tribes that remained. Co-wrote the book 'Supernaturals' is currently regarded as the foremost expert on the flora of the Everfree Forest. “ Spike whistled. “What's this that's marked out here at the bottom?”

“Errr she kinda let slip she was dating some pony, but asked me not ta pass that on.” Applebloom stated.

“Huh, kinda looks like it said Miss Cheerilee.” Spike squinted at the paper.

“Hehe yeah funny that.” Applebloom muttered.

“I got better than that.” Sweetiebelle squeaked.

“You interviewed Princess Luna.” Spike answered.

“I interviewed Pri...... oh you know.” Sweetiebelle pouted.

“She uses my living room as a teleport pad, so yeah I know.” Spike sighed.” Still more ponies would want to know about her. So it's a toss up between Applebloom and Sweetie getting front page.” Spike hummed to himself.

“Not so fast!” Scootaloo shouted, and slapped down a random stack of papers on the desk.

“Do I wanna know?” Spike asked looking at the mess, already feeling a headache coming on from trying to decipher Scootaloo's writing.

“This is the best story every, pure gold, front page material.” Scootaloo crowed.

“Oh please, you probably just interviewed Rainbow Dash or something.” Diamond Tiara scoffed. “As if any one would care what SHE does.”

The other crusaders and Silver Spoon instinctively moved between Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara ready to stop Scootaloo from going after Diamond Tiara for insulting her idol.

Rather than take offense as expected however, Scootaloo didn't even respond to Diamond Tiara's crack. Scootaloo simply smiled at her. The effect was more than enough to make the pink filly step back.

“Really cause if any of the other newspapers are any indication, plus how every one acted a month or so ago, I'd say news about Rainbow Dash is what every one wants.” Scootaloo's grin didn't falter. “Particularly news about Rainbow Dash and her new colt friend Prince Blueblood.”

Spike and the rest of the Foal Free Press newsroom stared at the orange pegasus filly for a moment. Generally every pony was in shock, though Applebloom and Sweetiebelle were pretty much of the opinion that even a broken clock was right twice a day, and Scootlaoo's obsession had finally struck the correct time. Spike on the other claw was wondering if the orange filly was really as clueless as she seemed to be.

“So front page?” Ink Blot asked as he looked over to his printer.

Spike nodded.” And raise the price to five bits.”

[ Elsewhere]

“Do you see this?!” a Harlequin green furred and Mikado yellow maned unicorn stallion snorted waving the paper in the air.

“Yeah, who knew that Princess Luna mained The Bounty Hunter in Smash.” A snow white furred and golden poppy yellowed maned unicorn stallion responded as he flipped through his own copy of Foal Free Press.

“Not that you idiot, this!” The first stallion shoved an article on page eight in front of the second stallion.

“Err what about it? It's just a review for a bad play.”

“What do you mean what about it!?! Look at the first part! This is madness, they are forcing a baby dragon to do menial labor in a library. And this... Moon Dog or what ever they have him on stages preforming for ponies amusement. This is barbaric and uncalled for. These animals deserve to be with their own kind, free and wild like nature intended not slaves to the whims of ponies!”

“Sooo what are we going to do about it?” the second stallion blinked.

“It's time to show them how wrong it is to treat animals like this. Go get everyone else. It's time Ponies for the Ethical Treatment of Animals goes on a little road trip to this... Ponyville...”

Author's Note

Batmare beyond reference is about this fic https://www.fimfiction.net/story/222934/batmare-beyond

As for the rest. Well if you don't know where i'm going with this have you even read the rest of my stuff.

Dragon Li Quest, prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season2
By TDR

Dragon Li Quest,
prologue

[Ponyville, One week Later, Spring]

“Thank yah kindly fer all of yah coming out tah help with tha spring planting.” Applejack smiled. “Ah'm in a bit of a rush tah get it all done early this year as ah'm heading off tah that big rodeo at that end of tha week an ah dun wanna leave Mac tah deal with it all himself.”

“Hey, no problem after last time something like this happened, I'm just glad you asked.” Rainbow Dash snorted making AJ wince. Despite patching up Dash still occasionally made jabs, though it was usually after some one tried to reign her in on something.

“Still I'm glad I could set everything up properly and give you and Rarity time to talk about what you needed to for that sister hoof social thing.” Twilight smiled quickly changing the subject.

“And I made sure to tell the birds and squirrels to leave the seeds alone or they wouldn't get anything come harvest time.” Fluttershy added.

“ I'm still kinda surprised that you came out to help Rarity.” Pinkie Pie chimed up. “ I didn't expect to see you digging in the dirt.”

“While I am not a fan of it at all. I am not adverse to gardening, and I often work in dirt for my gems.” Rarity pouted. “ That said, I cannot wait to get a shower...”

“Well it might need to wait, Spike offered to make us lunch and we can wash up a bit there.” Twilight smiled. ”Then we can head back to finish up.”

“So why didn't he bring it out to us?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Because he doesn't have a way to get it out there very quickly with out Rahs helping and I'll probably have to drag Rahs out of bed.” Twilight sighed. “He's not even nocturnal, but he still sleeps most of the day.”

“Don't most ponies dream at night? So wouldn't that make Moon Dogs nocturnal?” Fluttershy asked.

“He's asleep most nights too, he's just lazy.” Twilight huffed.

“Sounds about like a cat to me.” Applejack laughed.

Twilight was about to respond when Rainbow Dash took off towards the Library skidding to a stop as she landed beside the wide open door. The others quickly rushed to catch up skidding to a stop as Dash did looking up at the spray paint defacing the front of the library. Neon green paint screamed out against the trunk in a variety of slogans.

'Meat is murder'
'Animals are not here for your entertainment'
'Animals are not slaves'
' Free the orcas'
'Dairy causes autism'
'I'd rather go naked than wear fur.'

Inside was much worse with a great deal of slurs and insults directed against Twilight herself. They had also taken a large number of foals books about animals and cook books from the shelves and tossed them into the center of the room in an attempt to make a bonfire with them. Aside from some chard paper around the pile the books new fire suppression enchantments had held.

The six mares looked around in awe at the carnage.

“RAHS!!? SPIKE!!?” Twilight called.”Owlowiscious ? Mr. Whipple?”

When no answer was forth coming Twilight looked to Rarity in askance.

“No dear, this isn't like any Diamond Dog attack I've ever seen.” Rarity sighed.” They have better grammar.”

“There's a note over here.” Applejack pointed out.

Twilight snatched it up reading it.

“Dear horrible monster. We have freed your slaves and brought retribution on this den of evil for all to see. We shall carry them to where they belong and free them of having to answer to their slave names of Rahs, Spike, Owlowiscious , and Mr. Whipple. We also hope you suffer a long horrible death in a fire.” Twilight read out loud.

“So Rahs, Spike, Owlowiscious , and that parasprite of yours have been foal napped?” Applejack questioned.

“Again.” Rainbow Dash added.

“Hey look they left leaflets.” Pinkie Pie chimed up hopping over to scoop one up.” Lets see....instead of saying 'bring home the bacon' start saying, 'bring home the bagels'.....instead of saying' Take the bull by the horns' start saying' take the flower by the thorns'? What?”

“So Rahs, Spike, Owlowiscious , and that parasprite of yours have been foal napped by idiots.” Applejack corrected.

“Again.” Rainbow Dash added once more.

Fluttershy moved over to Pinkie Pie looking at the leaflet as Twilight let out a long breath trying to calm herself.

“I am going to ward this building six ways from Tartarus. So help me the next ones who come to cause a problem are just going to explode.” Twilight growled.

“Oh.... them....” Fluttershy stated with a tone cold enough to drop the temperature in the room a few degrees.

Twilight's mane started smoldering raising the temperature back to normal.

“Fluttershy that sounded like recognition. I want names.” Twilight stated.

“Ponies for the ethical treatment of animals. PETA.” Fluttershy stated lowering the temperature a few more degrees.” They're a group of ponies who think they are activists for animal rights when in reality their goal is to wheedle as many bits in donations out of gullible ponies as they can and gain attention any way they can, usually be doing something stupid. They've stolen ponies pets and released them into habitats they don't even belong in or in areas that the released animals soon take over and destroy the native wildlife. They cause no end of trouble to other ponies trying to promote their ideal society.”

“PETA? Had those idiots out on tha farm a few times, they tried tah free tha cows and pigs broke some of my fence. Didn't think they had even landed yet after Mac bucked the lot of um intah orbit.” Applejack frowned.

“They protested sugar Cube Corner because we use milk and eggs. Have you ever had a cake without milk or eggs?” Pinkie Pie threw up her hooves.

“Princess Luna is not to know about this. This one is mine.” Twilight snarled.

At that moment a large bear tapped on the front door and leaned in looking around the library before spotting Fluttershy and whimpering a bit.

“Harry what are you doing here. You know the mayor doesn't like it when you wander into town without me.” Fluttershy scolded.

Harry mumbled and growled a little and Fluttershy's eyes widened then narrowed as the bear continued. The sight of the little yellow mare scowling unnerved most of the others. Twilight was too pissed to notice.

“They came by my house.......” Fluttershy stomped a hoof angrily, which wasn't saying much as she lightly put her hoof down with a barely audible tap. “I warned them what would happen if they did that again.”

More muttering from the bear and Fluttershy blinked before pressing a hoof to her temple rubbing it.

“Of course he did.” Fluttershy sighed.

“Well?” Twilight demanded.

“PETA raided my house as well and 'Freed' all of my animals. Most of them already went back inside though they took some of the more 'docile' ones like Henrietta...... and Angel Bunny.”

There was silence.

“They foal napped angel bunny.?” Applejack asked finally.

“Yes.” Fluttershy replied.

“So Rahs, Spike, Owlowiscious , Angel, Henrietta, and that parasprite of yours have been foal napped by suicidal idiots.” Applejack corrected again.

“Again.” Rainbow Dash chimed up.

“Seems to be the case.” Rarity sighed.

“Pinkie Pie would you do me a favor and get the bag I have in my shed?” Fluttershy stated.

“The one in the back storage locker or the one under the floor boards?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“The first one. The second is for Zephyr.” Fluttershy sighed as Pinkie Pie zipped off.

“What?! Zephyr where!?” Dash growled shooting up into the air looking around angrily.

“One of these days I really must find out what is going on with her brother.” Rarity sighed.

“Applejack how many bodies do you think we can conceivably bury in the eastern part of your farm without some pony noticing?” Twilight asked calculating how many ponies an average organization had.” If we buried them vertically to avoid magical scans from flying ponies I mean.”

“Ah'm a little more concerned with surviving this before we worry about that.” Applejack sighed.

Author's Note

Dragon Li is a type of Chinese cat.

Also.....muwhahahahha

Dragon Li Quest, Part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Dragon Li Quest,
Part 1

[In the back of a cart some where]

Spike was rather annoyed. He had finished making the sandwiches for the girls when this group of ponies came through the door. Being the good little librarian's assistant he was, at least when he wanted to get paid, he asked if they needed help finding any thing.

Rahs certainly wasn't going to do it, he had expected Twilight to come home and drag him off to help so he had moved a large bookshelf in front of the stairs up to the bedrooms and then promptly hid atop another book shelf so when Twilight came in she would have to move the first book shelf to go upstairs to get him, thus giving him enough time to slip out and nap some where else.

Seriously if he put as much effort into doing anything as he did avoiding doing anything he'd be amazing at what ever he did.

The bakers dozen of ponies who came in had ignored his question and started screaming out for Twilight Sparkle to come 'face justice', or something like that. Spike took note of Rahs as he looked down at them from the top of the book case by the door seemingly just as confused at what they were doing as Spike was.

The noise was also more than enough to wake up Owlowiscious who flew out of his cubby hole to his perch on the main desk and huffed up angrily at the group. Mr. Whipple fluttered around in his cage on the desk wondering if he was going to be fed.

Still ignoring Spike, the groups leader, he guessed, launched into a several minute long rant about the evils of ponies treating animals like pets and a whole bunch of other stuff that seemed rehearsed. Most of it was pretty confusing. Spike wasn't sure what ' go naked rather than wear fur' meant as they were all ponies and all of them had fur. He again asked what they wanted and was ignored until one of them actually got a look at him and started shouting about freeing the enslaved dragon, which started up another good long rant.

Rahs at this point had dropped down from the book shelf and was watching them with some interest as they debated what to do about finding the dragon before they found Twilight Sparkle. It was then that one of them noticed Rahs and started up a rant about how he had been forced to preform for ponies amusement and it just wasn't right which got all the others ranting as well about that topic and various others, like how 'ponies all needed to be vegetarians like fish', and how the' Griffon Empire self destructed because they ate meat and this showed the folly of meat eaters'.

Rahs was clearly confused by this as he hadn't been in nearly as many performances as he would have liked.

Spike was confused as the Gryphon Empire collapsed and fell into warring feudal states before being united by King Grover. This lasted fourteen generations before it fell back into ruin ruled by a collection of barons only seeking their own personal power at the expense of their subjects.

Owlowiscious wasn't confused, he was just annoyed that he had been woken up in the middle of the day.

Mr. Whipple was neither annoyed nor confused as he was a parasprite with very little brain activity beyond eat and reproduce.

Still the ranting went on before the group started discussing how to get them out of there to free them and return them to their respective environments. Spike was a little worried about that though Rahs just stared at them amused. The consensus was finally made that they put a sleep spell on the lot of them and sneak them out of the town.

Rahs blinked then looked at Spike before smiling in a way that Spike recognized.

“Woof.” Rahs explained as Spike stared at him a moment more and considered.

“Fine, but only because I want to see the Dragonlands.” Spike huffed still being ignored by the group of ponies.

Owlowiscious glanced back and for the between the two of them and sighed before shifting on his roost and just going back to sleep there. Mr. Whipple was still looking around his cage for food.

Spike waddled back into the kitchen to put the sandwiches in the icebox took the tea kettle off the stove before he left out of the kitchen, locking the door behind him.

Waddling back over to Rahs he was less than surprised when a unicorn cast a sleep spell that fizzled completely due to the nearness of his brother. Still he yawned and kicked back against a book shelf pretending to sleep as the 'spell' took hold.

Rahs of course had to over dramatize his suddenly falling asleep, and did so in such a way, that had these ponies not been total idiots they would not believed.

He staggered around the room, falling over the table drunkenly and rolled under a few of them knocking them to the floor. He stifled a yawn, knocked a few more down and smacked two of their heads together hard enough to make a sound of clonking coconuts, before finally falling back and draping himself over a couch with all the flair of Rarity having a episode.

With the pair of them down, the group gathered up Owlowiscious , Spike as well as Mr. Whipple while they proceeded to wreck the library. Still every time they tried to move beyond the main area a book or other object would 'fall' from the sky or simply smack them in the back and distract them long enough they didn't progress. Of course Rahs moved to a completely different 'sleeping' pose after every throw, but none of them seemed to notice.

He also had pretended to be so much dead weight that it took three of the Earth ponies in the group to move him. He then managed to get 'caught' on everything between the couch and the door.

Currently Rahs was sitting in the back of the covered cart smirking as he fiddled with something inside his green coat. Spike was a little surprised as he had been wearing the gray one earlier. The green one was the one he usually wore when he went out hunting.

He had pulled out the book he was currently reading, and had given Spike a O&O magazine to thumb through as well as some paper to write on to send a note back to Twilight while they waited.

He also hadn't shut up singing show tunes at the top of his lungs.

In Fancy.

“Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow MEOW MEOW, meow meow meow!!” Rahs sang.

Spike had tuned him out fairly earlier on as had Owlowiscious.

The PETA members pulling the cart however were not used to Rahs' singing and had spent quite a long time trying to get him to be quiet. They had given up and were now whining in misery as they pulled the cart along whimpering at every high pitched 'meow' Rahs made. They had also doubled their speed and were practically racing along the road.

At one point they had even thrown a chicken and a rabbit into the back of the cart, as a if a meal would get him to shut up.

Surprisingly that had worked, but not for the reason they hoped.

As soon as Rahs and Angel Bunny locked eyes both of them developed grins that were most often seen along with a fin cutting through the waters surface, or lawyers with personal injury claims.

In the silence, the golden golden silence, Spike had over heard they were passing by the Dragonlands to 'Free' him, and Owlowiscious first, before bringing Rahs and Mr. Whipple back to their headquarters in order to figure out where their habitat was, clearly they figured Henrietta and Angel would be eaten by that point.

Rahs hadn't liked the idea of them being split up, particularly with Spike being left in a dangerous place, but Spike had convinced him to go ahead as he wanted to find Bleu and ask her some questions any way.

Besides Twilight would probably be by to pick him up in a couple hours tops. How much trouble could he get into, without the CMC to help any way.

It was only after Owlowiscious promised to keep an eye on him that Rahs agreed.

[Hours later]

Rahs frowned as Spike was pulled from the wagon, offered praise for being so brave under ponies slave owning tyranny and told to go be free among his own kind. Owlowiscious took off as soon as the door opened, rather than deal with what ever Rahs was going to do next. Henrietta and Angel bunny hid behind Rahs as he watched the PETA members close the door and start towing the cart again .

The faint scent of draconic flame touched his nose and he knew Spike had sent off the letter to Twilight.

He spared a glance over to Angel Bunny and the rabbit pulled out a stack of papers he had written plans on.

Henrietta laid an egg, and Mr. Whipple bounced in his cage trying to eat it.

“This is gonna be fun.”

Dragon Li Quest, Part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Dragon Li Quest,
Part 2

[ Ponyville.]

Twilight Sparkle was not a happy pony.

This was not however including the fact her home had been trashed, her brothers and pets kidnapped. This was even discounting the fact the idiots had tried to burn books, in her home. That alone was enough for her friends to do their best to make sure that she was constantly reminded of who she was mad at and for every pony to be on their best behavior. Their friend could be considered dangerous at the best of times, when she was focused on something that pissed her off, particularly without Rahs or Spike here to calm her, the other mane six tended to get worried.

And Big Mac suddenly had delivers to make in another town.

What Twilight was currently mad at was that she had to wait to find out where her brothers were before she could bring down the stars on the fool heads of these ponies.

She'd apologize to Princess Luna after the fact.

Only two things were keeping Twilight from blowing something up just to vent right now.

The first was that at least three ponies in the room were not hiding from her, but behind her, using her as a shield to protect them from another mare in the room.

Across the room currently looking in a rather sizable duffle bag sat Fluttershy. The mare had progressively grown colder the more she explained about PETA to Twilight.

Twilight on the other hoof had grown hotter the more the soft mare spoke. Neither of their expressions changed though out any of the conversation, though Rainbow Dash swore there was a weather system forming between the two.

Even Pinkie Pie seemed to be on her tippy hooves. She wasn't bouncing around or talking she was sitting there calmly as if waiting for Fluttershy to ask her to do something else.

So far all Fluttershy had done was check the supplies in the bag. Applejack was certain she had seen some heavy duty bolt cutters, Rarity claimed she had seen a number of cans of spray paint., and Rainbow Dash swore the glass bottles secured in the bag were molotovs.

The others had helped clean up though, of course currently they were wondering if they could make it to the door and into a shelter some where before something gave.

Thankfully everything stalled as a green burst of flame appeared over Twilight's horn and a scroll fell to the ground.

Twilight picked it up and unrolled it recognizing Spikes claw writing.

“Dear Twilight, Rahs and I tagged along with a bunch of idiots who thought they were ' rescuing us' from you. I suppose you saw the note by now. Rahs opted to stick with them until they made it to their destination which seems to be Filly Delphia or near to it, to listen to the cart pullers talk anyway. Mr. Whipple, Angel and Henrietta are with him so tell Fluttershy not to worry. Not sure why she would, I mean it is Angel. Might want to tell Princess Celestia to up get a bunch of tax funds ready to pay for THAT disaster waiting to happen. The idiots dumped me near a place called Twin Peaks Nature Reserve. I should have known they were too cheap to take me all the way to the Dragon Lands. Still there's a mess of dragons here so I suppose it's a stop in that Dragon Migration thing that a lot of dragons still do. Owlowicious is with me and I'm gonna go see if any of them know Bleu or if I can learn any proper dragony things from them. I expect to see you before night fall really, as these guys made it out here in like five hours. And if Princess Celestia isn't messing with the sun again it looks like it's about four, I know you girls were coming back from the farm about two or so, so there's sandwiches in the fridge, you'll have to make your own tea though. Sincerely Spike.” Twilight read before setting down the letter.

“Well it's good to see that they are both okay.” Rarity chimed in starting to back towards the kitchen.” I'll go start the tea and get the sandwiches yes?”

“Rahs went with them willingly... And he left Spike alone in the woods?!” Twilight snarled.” First I'm going to blast these PETA idiots into plasma motes, then I'm gonna beat whats left with HIM!”

“Tah be fair, outta tha three of yah I trust Spike tah be on his own tha most.” Applejack chimed in.

“Alright so Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity will go get Spike, Applejack will stay here in case the Princesses catch wind of this some how, and Pinkie and I will go deal with PETA.” Fluttershy stated in a tone that almost sounded like an order.

“Oh no, I want to deal with those idiots myself.” Twilight fumed.

“Okay so Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight will go get Spike and me and Pinkie Pie will go deal with PETA.” Fluttershy stated.

“Okay that's better …. wait a minute.” Twilight stated glaring at Fluttershy.

“Twilight dealing with an organization like this requires a bit of finesse and a certain sort of kindness that I'm afraid you aren't able to muster in this state. Besides Pinkie and I will be meeting some friends of ours along the way to help us.”Fluttershy explained.

“Dealing with an organization like them is just as easy as dealing with an individual like them. Best done with excessive force.” Twilight stated.

“Which you might need to do to some Dragons to help Spike. We can deal with some ponies, but you're the only one who can deal with dragons.” Pinkie Pie added.

Twilight blinked.” But you did better with that last dragon than we did.” Twilight protested.

“Which I am never going to do again because dragons terrify me.” Fluttershy stated.

“What ah wanna know is why am ah tha one who has tah deal with the Princesses if they show up?” Applejack asked.

“Dude when the options are go with a super pissed off Twilight, or Fluttershy in a state that has me worried, I believe you got the best deal here.” Dash shuddered.

“Did you wish to swap?” Rarity called from the kitchen.

“Ah ain't gonna argue with um.” Applejack shook her head.” They say I stay ah'm staying, ah just was curious why.”

“Better to just smile and nod..” Dash muttered.

[Filly Delphia, Ponies for the Ethical Treatment of Animals main HQ]

Rahs was annoyed, but more that he did it to himself than anything else. He was currently wedged into a six by six cage, that he could neither stand up or stretch out in. Surrounding him were a ton of other animals all barking meowing and causing a great deal of a ruckuses.

He had dropped Henrietta off outside the compound on the way in and had hidden Angel bunny in his coat before dropping him off some where in the hall way while pretending the unicorns sleep spell worked on him again.

During the trek hauling him to the cell he was in, he had caused two ponies to fall down a flight of stairs, set off the fire alarm at least twice caused a ridiculous number of bruises and abrasions and gotten at least one of the stallions to sing soprano with a well timed shift, that had caused a ponies hoof to slip and hit just in the right spot.

All in all it had been a fun trip, HAH, and in managing to take a few bites out of the attempted magic used to carry him ,he gave at least a half dozen unicorns headaches too.

Pity their flavors were so bland. He thought one might have been a bit fruity and another bitter but the others he couldn't tell apart.

Still Rahs had to smirk as he looked over at the type of pen he was in, clearly they thought him some sort of dumb animal as the door was a simple latch that he could easily lift with a claw.

With a small flick he was out of the pen and stretching, for a group that wanted to free animals from enslavement they certainly had a lot of them in cages, and not all of them looked that healthy either.

Pity he couldn't speak with them like Fluttershy could, but he'd be sure to cause some chaos on their behalf before he'd rescue them himself, provided Twilight didn't get here first.

Granted Rahs hoped she went to get Spike first, he had a few plans to enact.

[Twin Peaks Nature Reserve.]

Spike flung himself up atop of the edge of the rock face panting as he lay there. Down in the fiery volcanic cauldron below there were easily a hundred different dragons. Mostly adults who were laying about the edges of the cauldron, occasionally snapping at each other when another one got too close.

He wasn't about to bother any of them, down in the lower part of the cauldron closer to the lava was a gathering of what looked like smaller dragons, teenagers or so. They seemed to be fighting as well in truth.

They might have been the least dangerous, but Spike had a few encounters with teenagers in Canterlot and was a bit wary.

Still it would have been pointless to climb up here for nothing.

“Whoo” Owlowiscious stated as he landed nearby.

“Yeah I know, that's a good question. Who do I go talk to.... ahh there we go.” Spike smiled spotting another group that was more likely to answer what he asked.

“Whoo?” Owlowiscious asked.

“Them” Spike pointed.” Look just keep an eye out for Twilight would you. I know she's going to be coming here soon.”

Owlowiscious rolled his eyes and flew off leaving Spike to waddle down into the volcano. He'd keep an eye on Spike as best he could, but in this situation he rather hoped Spike knew what he was doing.

Author's Note

Happy National Puppy day.

http://www.mysuncoast.com/2019/03/23/saturday-is-national-puppy-day/

The build up is done, now for the fun.

Dragon Li Quest, Part 3

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Dragon Li Quest,
Part 3

[Friendship express.]

Fluttershy stared out the window as the train started to pull out of the station. This was the last stop before Fillydelphia. Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Rarity had all gotten off here, she could see the volcanoes that made up Twin Peaks nature reserve in the distance.

She shuddered spotting the dark forms of dragons milling about the cauldrons.

Fluttershy didn't like dragons, she had been terrified by one when she was little as it flew past Cloudsdale before the Guard had driven it off. It was something her little brother teased her about for a long time.

Still she felt a little bad for sending Twilight after Spike. There were surly a few innocent dragons out there, she had met one, maybe two that she was okay with , though Bleu did still scare her. So did Spike when he got big. But neither of them seemed bad.

Two other ponies had taken up the seats Twilight and the others had left. She didn't say anything to them at first, her gaze focused on looking out the window as the train started to move. Most of that was to let Pinkie get the excitement out of her system at seeing the two again.

Fluttershy smiled as Pinkie finally calmed down and she turned to face the other two.

“Your little birdie told us there was a problem.” one stated.

“Yes, some friends of ours were foal napped.” Fluttershy stated.

“PETA again?” the second asked.

“Yes. It seems the first message for them to stay away wasn't enough.” Fluttershy agreed.

“Is Gummy alright?” the first asked.

He's fine, what ever magic they used to pull his teeth for that handbag add means they aren't going to grow back, but he's doing well.” Pinkie Pie sighed. ”But at least we know it isn't him, even he's not dumb enough to ignore a warning from Fluttershy.”

“So what is the plan?”

“Rescue and scorched earth.” Fluttershy said simply.

“So that is why you wanted me.” the first pony nodded. The gray furred and purple maned mare spoke with a dead pan tone that conveyed no emotion.

“They also have Angel and Henrietta.” Fluttershy added. “Rahs too but he's not really an animal and he went willingly so he probably has a plan to cause trouble.”

“Wait, so they have Angel?” the second mare, a lime green earth pony with reddish orange mane and tail both done up in dreads drawled, she seemed a little off when she spoke like she wasn't all there.” I almost feel sorry for them if they grabbed your bunny... again....”

“Don't be Treehugger, they're just getting whats coming to them. Isn't that right Maud?” Pinkie Pie squeed hugging her impassive sister.

“Boulder is ready to rock.” Maud said flatly.

[PETA HQ]

“ So what are we doing with the big one and the bug thing?” a stallion asked.

“We're waiting for the CEO to get back, they're both exotic or cute enough that we might be able to use them in an ad or something.” Another answered. “ If not we'll just take them out to the woods and let them go.”

“But if they've been in captivity so long will they be able to make it?” The first questioned.

“Oh right you haven't been here long. If they don't make it, it's ponies fault for trying to make them pets, if they left them alone they'd be out thriving in the wild, it's only because ponies interfered with the natural order that they might not survive. It's not our fault for setting them free, but the ones who claimed to be their owners that broke them of their proper instincts.” the second replied.

“Oh okay. So another question then, why are we going to bleed them ?”

“Cause we need more blood to spray on the the fur wearing assholes prancing around uptown. The ones we're bleeding dry were too domesticated to make it in the wild , so this way their sacrifice will show others how bad these ponies are for wearing fur. It's a simp.....hurrk.”

The second pony might have continued with his speech, but a little white rabbit had bounced up and punched him straight in the nuts so hard his rear hooves lifted off the floor before he vanished with a pop and the odd ticking of a clock.

The second pony barely had time to yelp before a hard kick across his face imbedded a rabbit paw print into his skull and made him go cross eyed before there was another pop and a ticking sound.

As he landed, Angel Bunny was alone in the locker room.

[ PETA HQ]

The screaming was music to Rahs' ears as he scooped another bowl of dry food into a starving cocker spaniels bowl.

He had wandered around a bit and found a few things. One of those things was a large box of nair and other hair removal products in a room where a caged sheep resided , one that looked as if had been the subject of said bottles.

A few posters scattered about the halls showing the sheep with captions of ' here's the rest of your wool coat' showed what the the point of that was. Rahs had seen Applejack's sheep after a sheering and they just looked like they got a hair cut, nothing like what had been done to this poor sheep.

That didn't include what happened to Dolly, as the poor thing was still green.

Still it had given Rahs an idea and it only took another fire alarm pull to clear everyone out long enough that he could exchange a few bottles of mane and tail shampoo in the buildings shower rooms with the rest of the nair.

A bucket or two manure that had come from the collection of animals over a select number of door frames and as ponies filed back in after another false alarm, there was suddenly a rush to use the showers.

He had started feeding some of the neglected animals around as he listened for the screams.
Once they started he had curled back up in his cage before some pony came to check on him.

Rather go naked than wear fur huh? Then why were they having such issues with it?

[ Twin Peaks Nature Reserve]

Twilight Sparkle frowned looking at the map for the nature trails that were printed on the wall of the ranger station.

The park itself was closed due to the migration. The ranger was currently talking to Dash and Rarity as Twilight studied the map. There wasn't a direct path to the mountains, Romulus and Remus. The further peak, Remus, was smaller and was a dormant volcano, with the nearer, Romulus being more active, but not in any danger of erupting it was simply a bubbling cauldron. A large number of hot springs near the base were a major tourist attraction in the colder months, but were all closed due to the migration.

Most of the Dragons were in Romulus.

Seeing no real path where she wanted to go Twilight simply turned to walk towards Romulus.

A shout from the ranger behind her was ignored, as were the twenty foot tall cast iron decorative gates that had stood before her, and now were thirty feet away imbedded in a large rock.

She heard Rarity apologize on her behalf and follow after her with Rainbow Dash trotting along the ground as well not wanting to be in the air around so many dragons.

[ PETA HQ]

“BY THE STARS THEY'RE EVERY WHERE!!??” a pony screamed.

“AHHH, GIT UM OFF ME GIT UM OFF ME!!!” another pony screamed.

Rahs smirked and slipped back into the kennel room he had been put in. Mr. Whipple had been thrilled to be let out of his cage, and even more thrilled when he realized that he had been let out in the building cafeteria's store room.

[ PETA HQ]

Angel Bunny looked at the creature in the heavily armored pen though a tiny slit in the door.

The reptilian thing looked back at Angel Bunny.

Angel Bunny grinned,

The reptilian creature grinned back.

Angel Bunny opened the basement vault holding the reptilian creature.

The alarms around vault 682 screamed.

[ Twin Peaks Nature Reserve]

Say what you will about dragons. They are violent, temperamental, powerful, dangerous, and smug in their own superiority.

They are also not stupid.

At least the older ones aren't, you don't live to be a few hundred years old without some survival instinct and some sense of self preservation.

So when the dragons on the western face of Romulus cauldron looked down to the forest far below and saw trees, large predators, and boulders being flung out of a arrow straight path that lead from the ranger station and was aimed for the volcano, many were rather curious and wary.

When one of their own went down to investigate, and was seen less than fifteen minutes later being swung about by his tail like a machete to clear the trees between the ranger station and the volcano, that wariness turned into alarm. And when the trees were cleared, and the dragon machete discarded by being embedded through a tree and the figure that had done so, starting her assent, the ones seeing this decided that they would prefer roosting on Remus today.

So a good score of Dragons promptly hauled their scaled flanks out of the way of the approaching purple unicorn stomping her way up the side of the mountain.

Author's Note

As a side note everything in here is something that PETA has been accused and known to do. Kidnapping and killin animals to use their blood for protest. Making a bloody model of a shorn sheep for an add, and turning domesticated animals lose in the wild. They have also been videoed by an interen refusing to feed or water animals that they were going to put down a week or more later because ' them starveing to death would save them the chemicals needed to kill them.'

Pony Peta is slightly less repulsive. Slightly.

Dragon Li Quest, Part 4

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Dragon Li Quest,
Part 4

[PETA HQ]

“And you go home and think about what you've done.” Fluttershy scolded. The teal and fushia maned mare immediately ran out of the front lobby of the building screaming and bawling her eyes out.

The large open lobby in PETA HQ had a large circular receptionists desk in the middle of the room. There was a large steel double door at the back of the room with a hoof print scanner and a glass enclosure on the left side of the room that probably normally held some sort of cute or injured animal to tug on the heart strings, as there was a very large donation box next to it. Scattered across the walls and on little displays all over the floor were various slogans and posters. One of which Pinkie was glaring very hard at, that featured a smiling baby alligator with no teeth.

“Brutal.” Maud stated watching the mare flee.

“So like where do we go from here? This is a big place.” Treehugger muttered looking at a map of the building the receptionist had. There were a lot of areas that were simply labeled' closed to the public'. “ How are we gonna find your little animal friends?”

“Oh that's easy. Just listen to for the screams of pain an anguish.” Pinkie Pie chimed after destroying the poster.

“Pinkie Pie, be nice. Rahs and Angel wouldn't do anything that would really hurt....” Fluttershy chided.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” screamed a fur less pegasus as he shot out of the back door of the lobby and threw himself out of the picture window still screaming.

There was a massive crunching sound and a rattle that sounded like bits against metal.

Fluttershy looked over to see Maud shaking lose the chunks of concrete from the donation box before tossing it over to Pinkie Pie who tucked it into her mane.

“Remember that goes to the Canterlot Garden fund.” Fluttershy added getting a nod that was accompanied by clanking bits from Pinkie Pie. “Maud would you mind getting the door?”

“Shouldn't we be using code names?” Treehugger asked. Fluttershy considered then nodded and pulled a bandanna over her face, the mask depicted a wide open mouth full of fangs. Maud's mask was simply gray, Pinkie Pies was pink and covered in cupcakes, and Treehugger's mask was red with a ragged looking seven petaled leaf with a small stem on it.

“Wind checking in.” Pinkie giggled bouncing around the room with cans of spray paint as she made a mess of the other posters, and the walls and the floor and the ceiling.

“Earth.” Maud stated flatly.

“Heart.” Fluttershy offered.

“Fire, my dudes. Blaze it.” Treehugger grinned.

“ We really need to recruit a Water so we can summon a blue painted Ted Turner on a zip line.” Pinkie Pie chimed up.

“Door's open.” Maud offered flatly as the pair of steel doors were ripped from the wall and tossed aside.

Rahs was not a happy moon dog.

And because he was not a happy moon dog, none of those who had made him an unhappy moon dog were allowed to be happy either.

And in several cases they were also not allowed to be painless either, or awake. He had planned on a number of other pranks and mild torments to the PETA goons over the course of however long it took Twilight to blow the front off the building.

During his last pranking outing however, he over heard two ponies talking about him and why the animals in the room with him were so hungry.

It seemed in an effort to save bits, the ones who were slated for release in the next month were not being fed. If they died before then, they could be used as food to some of the carnivores that were being held, or as something to throw at those that PETA didn't like, their bodies used as props or ammo.
Pranks were forgotten, claws brandished, ponies screamed, animals fed and watered, and a rampage started.

Rahs no longer planed to leave anything for his sister to do.

[ Twin Peaks Nature Reserve]

“Urrrrgh...... what happened?” A large black dragon groaned sitting up with a wince, before he looked around at the rather sizable crater he was in.

“You were beaten quite soundly actually.” A voice from the craters lip called down to him.

Glancing up he spotted a dainty looking white unicorn sitting on the edge of the hole he was in. Pushing himself up he loomed over the white unicorn.” What are you talking about?'

“Quite simple. You flew down here to see what the deal is with my friend over there.” The white unicorn gestured. “She asked you a question, you attacked, and as we see you wound up in a crater.”

“Impossible...” The dragon growled wincing as it moved to much. The white unicorn shrugged and pointed over to a purple unicorn who had grabbed an even larger dragon than the black one in her magic and was shaking it hard enough that scales where flying off it's body.

“WHERE IS SPIKE!?!?” Twilight bellowed.

The black dragon blinked, and sank down in the crater again.

“Oh don't worry about it dear, I'm sure there's no shame in getting beaten by a single tiny purple pony is there? No worry at all if this news got out and spread all over the land to any one who would listen. It's not as if I know a group of ponies who write stories for the current hottest newspaper there is right now.” Rarity hummed lightly filing a edge of her hoof with an emery board impassively.

The dragon growled sunk lower after another glance at the rampaging unicorn. “How much...?”

“Oh good, you're one of the smart ones.” Rarity chimed up as the dragon growled.” Oh don't be such a spoil sport, we have a whole row of trees, half a mountain side, and a main gate to repair, just a claw full of your horde will barely be noticed, and we shall be sure not to let out your description to any one else. And lets face it any dragon watching this will surely not be spreading it either after witnessing this carnage.”

“Good point...” grumbled the dragon staying low in the crater.

“Rainbow darling would bring another cart around?” Rarity called.

[ PETA HQ]

Rahs was not sure when it happened, but he currently had an army. A swarm of animals were following him around the building. Everything from dogs, cats, rabbits, various birds and lizards , chinchillas, and one very noisy Raccoon that had climbed up on his shoulder and was angrily chittering at any members of PETA they came across. Once Rahs beat the fool out of the pony the raccoon would scamper over, loot the ponies wallet or jewelry and then clamor back up to his shoulder to fuss some more tucking the bits and other shiny things into the large side pocket of Rahs' coat.

He reminded Rahs of a shetland rogue Scootaloo played in one of Spike's games, who spent most of his time hiding behind Sweetiebelle's barbarian. Rather than name him 'Scootarogue' he had started to refer to the little pilferer as Blakeney.

Marching the army to another room he kicked open the door, making sure to avoid the back swing.

He was getting better at this.

With the door open he took a step in and stopped immediately.

The room was utterly destroyed, it looked like it had been a bunk room of some sort, but now it looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Bodies lay every where, smashed into walls, thrown over toppled beds and dressers, buried under tables with a large pile of pony bodies in the middle , all covered in claw marks and blood. The walls had claw marks and impact craters the furniture was trashed and everything was a jumbled mess.

It took him a moment to notice that all of them were still breathing, if barely, and that sitting in the room pecking at the head of one of the whimpering PETA members was a single chicken.

Rahs looked at Henrietta.

Henrietta looked at Rahs

“Bok bok!” Henrietta clucked hopping off the pile of ponies to waddle out the door and join in with Rahs' gathered animal army.

Rahs spared a glance back into the room and then closed the door.

[Twin Peaks Nature Reserve.]

“ So I say, 'All I see is a box some one glued lunch to. The bet stands until that's opened.'” Spike explained.

“So I take it was empty?” one of the dragons he was telling the story too asked.

“Yep had a IOU note from Discord in it and everything. Spike laughed.

“Spike.” a voice growled.

Spike sat up looking over at the purple unicorn stomping up before him. The mare had more than a few hairs in her mane out of place, and smoke was rising from her fur, she also had a couple of very large dragon teeth sticking out of her mane and tail.

“Hey Twi. I figured I had another hour or two before you showed up.” Spike waved.

“What are you doing?” Twilight grumbled before snagging a drake twice her size from the air as he tried to dive bomb her from behind. She then frisbed the dragon into the nearest rock wall without even looking at it.

“Actually finding out a lot of stuff about dragons, but at the moment I was just telling the girls here about how we beat Discord.” Spike said innocently gesturing to the five teen-aged female dragons gathered around him. “ This is Diamond, Glitter, Quartz, Onyixa, and Pearl.”

“Hi Mrs Sparkle!” the group chorused.

“You know I'm his sister not his mother right?” Twilight narrowed her eyes.

“Soo it's, Miss Sparkle?” Pearl asked.

“Just Twilight is fine.” Twilight let out a long breath seeing Spike was fine. “I think we should head home Spike. It has been a long enough day as it is and I still need to throw your brother through a wall or two for letting this happen.”

“Yeah, I think you're just mad that Rahs is beating down the bad guys and you're stuck picking me up.” Spike rolled his eyes.

“Yes, that's it exactly, Rarity and Rainbow Dash are probably waiting for us.”Twilight said with a surprising level of calm.

“Alright, see you later girls, was nice talking with you.” Spike waddled off waving to the collection of teen dragonesses.

“Bye Spikey” the five of them chorused.

Trotting across the volcano and watching full grown dragons dive into the lava to get out of their way Twilight spared a glance down at her brother.

“Should I tell Applebloom you're flirting with other girls?” Twilight asked with a bit of a smirk.

“Hey it was the safest place for me around here, they thought I was cute and were happy to answer my questions. I can simply forget to tell you everything I learned from them.” Spike snarked back.

“Fine Casanova , but don't let this be a common thing. I might be able to talk Big Mac out of punting you into orbit if you make Applebloom cry but I have no such buffer against Applejack doing it.” Twilight stated.

“I wouldn't worry about it, I mean all of them were older than me and heck when would I see any of them again?” Spike shrugged. “Plus there's the whole age thing. I mean dragons live a long time, ponies don't...... Might be good if she found some pony else anyway.”

“Nope, you don't get to have this argument with me right now. You're both young and it might work out that way, if it's just a crush, but I know you like her and you are not allowed to jeopardize a possible relationship because of what might happen.” Twilight scolded as they climbed out of the crater some times forgetting how mature her little brother could be, if he was worried about something like this. Or maybe it was one of the questions he had answered.

“Well I don't want to, it just keeps coming up, I mean I like her, but I worry about this stuff.” Spike shrugged.

“ That's because you follow my mindset and overthink it too much.”Twilight stated.

“YOU LITTLE TWERP!!” Garble growled popping up and leaping at Spike.” Those girls can't protect you no....”

Anything else the teenaged dragon was going to say was cut off as a boulder wrapped in magic slammed into him and continued to fly off the mountain with Garble attached to the front of it. The stone sailed through the air before impacting the side of the other mountain across the valley putting a small crater into Remus.

“So what's with the egg?”Twilight asked as if Garble hadn't even been there.

“Oh it's a phoenix egg. That guy you just belted into the other mountain and his friends brought it to girls as if trying to impress them. When that didn't work they were gonna break it and I stopped them.” Spike shrugged.

“Oh? How?”

“Yep, rapier wit and cunning,” Spike smiled.

“Really....” Twilight uttered in a tone that expressed pure disbelief.

“Annnnnnd, the help of the girls, when i asking cutely if they could help me save it.” Spike admitted.

[PETA HQ]

Maud grabbed the offending earth pony whirling him around to stuff him head first into Pinkie's party cannon. A moment later a roar from the cannon sent the pony flying through the air to smash into a wall collapsing part of the room atop of him.

“We should be coming up on the pens now, Heart.” Treehugger droned pushing open a door into a new hall and pointing at the door across from them at the top of a T intersection. “ We just need to go straight ahead, that other way leads to the basement.”

“Okay, is every one ready?” Fluttershy looked at the steel double doors to the basement Treehugger pointed to before back to the ones before them.”We'll check there after we get the ones out of the rest of the building.”

The doors across from them suddenly slammed open and a dark blue furred form stomped out of it followed by swarms of animals. Behind them a unicorn was flailing madly in the air as he was jammed up into the ceiling and stuck there by his horn.

Rahs stopped and looked at the masked ponies before him raising an eyebrow as the raccoon on his shoulder chittered dire threats.

“Oh my, who taught him such language?” Fluttershy asked.

“Woof?” Rahs asked.

“Yup It's us. Hey Rahsy we're here to rescue you, of course it seems like you don't need it!” Pinkie Pie chimed up.” Look there's Henrietta.”

“Oh well this is wonderful, but where's Angel Bunny?” Fluttershy asked.

As if the universe itself decided to answer, the door at the bottom of the T end of the hall exploded inward with a unicorn and a earth pony being flung through it. Barreling through the broken doors after them was a massive reptilian creature. The beast shouldered the two ponies aside slamming them into the walls of the hall before spotting Rahs, Fluttershy and the others at the end. It let out an ear splitting roar and tore down the hall towards them, a small white rabbit clinging tenaciously to it's tail.

“Oh dear, she's very angry....” Fluttershy whimpered taking a step back as Rahs moved between the ponies and the charging reptile.

“WOOF!” Rahs ordered.

Before any one could heed the call to run Pinkie Pie popped up between Rahs and the massive reptile She fiddled with her mane a moment before yanking out a small green reptile and setting it down on the ground between the beast and herself.

Rahs reached out to grab the clearly suicidal pink pony and her gator only for the massive reptilian beast to stop so suddenly that it's tail cracked the air as it whipped and Angel bunny was launched from it like a cannon ball.

The furry white cruise missile slammed bodily into Rahs sending both of them shooting backwards to crash onto the far wall.

Gummy and the large reptile stared at each other a moment. The massive creature started clicking in it's throat at the smaller one who blinked and chirped back.

The massive reptile looked up at Pinkie Pie who waved a hoof at it.

“Hi Gummy's mom!” Pinkie Pie chimed.

[Ponyville]

Applejack glanced between the two alicorns sitting on either side of her. She had explained the situation and both of them had decided to stay where they were until the Sparkles returned home.

One of them was pouting.

The other was clearly annoyed.

“Tia....”

“No.”

“But...”

“No.”

“We could help them......”

“No.”

“Thou never let us have any fun.” Luna huffed.

“Ken ah go now?”” Applejack asked.

[PETA HQ.]

A massive reptile with a pink pony riding on it's back, and a much smaller green alligator riding on her head, a pale yellow pegasus with pink hair and a white bunny sitting on her back, a gray furred purple maned earth pony in a smock, a tall dark blue furred moon dog in a green long coat, with a chicken on one shoulder and a raccoon on the other, a crap ton of animals, and a green earth pony with red dreadlocks and a large white wrapped bundle of 'herbs' dangling from her moth, all strode away from a towering building with P.E.T.A. in big red letters over the front door.

Strangely enough, all of them were also wearing sunglasses.

The green furred earth pony takes the lit bundle of 'herbs' from her mouth with a puff before tossing it over her shoulder back towards the building.

A few more steps and a loud fwoosh fills the air as a trail of fire forms from where the 'herbs' landed and races back towards the building. Another few steps and the entire structure exploded in a massive fireball that sends all the rest of them staggering forward flailing at the sudden explosion with various expressions of panic, alarm, confusion, and one of mild disinterest.

Only the green mare continues to walk away from the explosion a grin on her face as all the others stare back at the inferno.

“That's why I'm Fire my dudes.”

Author's Note

epilogue is coming.

Dragon Li Quest, Epilogue

Author's Note

Due to what day it is and some of my past postings on this day, this message is here to tell you that this is NOT a crack fic chapter or a non canon chapter of TGaP.

It's just bad planning on my part had me finish the epilogue on April 1st.

Dragon Li Quest, Epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Dragon Li Quest,
Epilogue

[Ponyville]

“Woof!” Rahs protested, glaring at his sister.

“No you don't buster, you don't get to pull that greater good nonsense with me, you left Spike alone where he could have gotten hurt!” Twilight shouted.

“BARK!”

“'Owlowiscious was watching him' is not a proper excuse for letting Spike walk around some where dangerous!” Twilight snapped.” What would he have done if Spike was in danger, hoot at them?”

Celestia munched on a cookie and she and Luna watched the pair arguing. She wasn't even sure they had noticed the two Princesses in their house just yet.

Spike had, which was why they had tea and cookies.

The small dragon glanced to his arguing siblings then to the Princesses with a sigh.

“BORK!”

“Don't give me that ,Spike already told me they were complete idiots, you could have kicked their flanks out the door or even called the local Guard!”

“WOOF!” Rahs waved his hands in the air. The raccoon that had been following since they got on the train was making the same gesture as Rahs behind him.

The other animals had either gone with Fluttershy to be properly released to the wild or with a collection of Guard to the Canterlot Gardens depending on their level of trauma.

Gummy's mom had wandered into the Ever Free Forest after Pinkie gave her cupcakes, likely to find a quiet spot, or for lunch, Pinkie wasn't sure.

Maud and Treehugger had gone their separate ways before Twilight had a chance to meet them.

“You did not need to destroy the head of the serpent! Fluttershy already told me they've been kicked out of town before and having a legal restraining order would have been that much better.”

“BORK!”

“What!? I did not cause more property damage than you!”

“WOOF!”

“If that gate didn't want to be ripped from it's hinges like that it shouldn't have gotten in my way!” Twilight stammered.

“BORK WOOF!!”

“They needed a proper path over to the volcano any way. I just expedited that!”

“Yip!?”

“YES WITH A DRAGON!!”

“GRRRR...”

“Don't you take that tone with me Mister, Rarity took those carts not me, I just used my cut to pay for the little bit of damage I did.” Twilight fumed. The loot gathered from the dragons had been split three ways among those who went to the nature reserve. The two would be set for some time and Rarity considered using hers to open a second boutique in Canterlot. Twilight was left with a few bits of pocket change, maybe enough to get a sandwich. “At least that was a deal of some sort, I didn't come home with a pocket full of wallets, jewelry, and gold teeth like a mugger!”

“WOOF!!”Rahs pointed to Berkly who waved as the attention was focused on him.

“I don't care if it was only one tooth, stop trying to blame it on the trash panda!”

Said trash panda promptly flung said gold tooth at Twilight and started chittering angrily at her, but he was ignored. As such he stormed over to the kitchen to see if Spike would feed him.

“Bork!”

“Fine Blakenly whatever, in either case don't blame your light fingers on him!”

“Are they alright Spike?” Celestia asked leaning over to question the little dragon as he gave the raccoon a cookie.

“Meh, they've been arguing since we got off the train, sooner or later they'll notice you're here and realize that I sent you a letter too.” Spike shrugged.

“You didn't even bring back Mr. Whipple!” Twilight screamed.

“RUFF!” Rahs shouted pointing to the cage with a pink parasprite in it.

“Mr. Whipple was light blue!”

“Woof!”

“What do you mean there were a whole bunch of them? You let a parasprite swarm loose in a densely populated city!?”

“BORK!”

“I don't care if PETA did it or Fillydelphia has already dealt with one swarm, you let loose a DR 2 loose in a populace city!”

“Tis quite amusing to be on the other side of a sibling argument.” Luna offered.

“It's fine. They'll tire themselves out after a while.” Spike shrugged.

At this point Twilight had enough and screamed out before tackling her larger brother, the pair of them crashed back over the couch to the sounds of fighting, cursing and general name calling.

“Ehh, still fine.” Spike shrugged.

[ Twin Peaks Nature Reserve.]

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!” Bleu cackled falling over herself in laughter as the group of female dragons explained everything, given they were the only ones left in the cauldron not battered or avoiding the dragon lord in embarrassment.

The Dragon Lord looked to his mother and tried to ignore her. It was hard to tell what the Goddess of Winds found funny about the story, but he had learned long ago it would be a humor that was over his head.

Still this Spike Sparkle and his sister Twilight Sparkle were of interest. To do this much damage she must be a fearsome dragoness indeed.

Dragon Lord Torch surveyed the damage to the migration rest stop.

Perhaps she was single....

[PETA HQ]

The stallion sighed as he looked out over the still smoldering rubble that was left of his head quarters. A number of rescue ponies were pulling PETA members from the rubble still. Most of them had all been stuffed into a pen in the basement before the building collapsed, the lizard in the pen was gone, thankfully, he regretted taking the bits to have his followers 'rescue' it from that odd lab complex. He was also rather surprised that lab didn't want it back.

Still this was going to set him back. Not that it really mattered, he had only started PETA after his sister gave him the idea, and even then it was just a way to make bits and impress mares without him having to do any thing.

Sure there were some bad rumors about them out there, and some of the more... excitable, members had done... questionable things, but most of the population didn't know that and any press could be good press if spun creatively.

This time however it seemed they had ticked off the wrong ponies.

He paused his train of thought as two stallions suddenly appeared over the rubble screaming before crashing down on top of it , one of them clutching between his rear legs and whimpering in a high pitched tone.

He had just come back from a cruise with some very lovely and rich mares who were impressed with his standing in PETA and their attempts to help animals. Getting back he had found this however.

The HQ was destroyed, that was the least of the problems. Most of his followers quit as soon as they saw him and the rest weren't coherent enough to do so. There would be ridiculous doctors bills which would deplete the stored funds.

Word had also gotten out that a parasprite swarm started here. That would add a mess of fines and property bills which would clean out the rest of the coffers.

Worst of all his cool apartment at the top of the building was destroyed.

He let out a sigh before turning to fly away from the wreckage.

“Maybe I can stay with mom and dad a while...” Zephyr mumbled to himself.

Scratching Post Social, Prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Scratching Post Social,
Prologue

[Ponyville]

Amber Waves looked out over the obstacle course and shuddered a little. The wheat furred and golden maned mare had taken over as head organizer for the Sister Hooves Social for this year along with her little sister Purple Mountains, who despite her name had a white coat and a blue and red two tone mane.

She had expected a bit more work than she had last year with all the new families in town. The obstacle course was a bit longer and the cupcake eating contest had needed a great deal more cupcakes, helpfully provided by Sugar Cube Corner at a bulk discount.

There were a few snags here and there, but the biggest of them was currently standing off to the side looking over the proceedings and the smaller games with some interest.

Princess Luna, with her adoptive little sister Sweetiebelle were watching the first of the ponies go through the obstacle race with interest. The little white filly seemed a bit upset over something though she didn't seem inclined to say anything to Princess Luna.

Applejack and Applebloom were of course, here as well, given they were founding members when this all started three years ago, it would be odd if they were not. The pair of them seemed to be excitedly talking to the Princess and Sweetiebelle as they pointed everything out to the new comers.

Still, they had registered and everything was on the up and up with those two, though some of the others were a bit …. odd.

Still this was workable, a six legged race, or a egg race could easily balance out even an alicorn competing.

Still it had taken a heroic effort at the last few hours to increase everything that was needed.

Particularly with the stands, as a great deal more ponies had shown up to see Princess Luna compete. Then there was a need for yet ANOTHER set of seating, as the press wouldn't sit any where near Rahs and Spike Sparkle who had come to watch.

That had been a headache and she really wished she had just taken Rahs' offer to run them off.

Usually there were no spectators permitted beyond family, but Princess Luna claimed Rahs was family and by extension Spike. The Press had no real excuse, but they were given a spot and told to stay there or else.

This made them easy prey for the Filly Scouts, but that had been expected, those fillies were ruthless.

Still it was all set now, a few games were going on here and there, as well as some other non competitive activities.

The main event was the obstacle course and with the amount of racers this year, there were a number of races that would be going back to back. Thankfully proper planning put any problems near the end, so if the insanely strong Applejack, two Cutie Mark Crusaders, and a Princess broke anything it wouldn't hurt much.

She hoped.

“You alright Sweetiebelle?” Applebloom asked ,curiously noting her friends discomfort.

“Yeah I guess..” Sweetiebelle sighed.

Applebloom remained silent and slowly counted down to when Sweetiebelle was gonna actually answer, and like clockwork....

“It's just.... Rarity didn't even come out to see me compete.... I actually tried to get her to come out too.” Sweetiebelle sighed.

“Well yah got Princess Luna, why would yah need Rarity?” Applebloom questioned.

“I know, Luna's great too... it's just....... I dunno Rarity's my real sister and despite all her dumb stuff I still care about her..... Doesn't seem she cares enough about me though.” Sweetiebelle frowned.

Luna's ears perked as she listened to Sweetiebelle talk though she didn't address the filly's concerns.

A small smile however graced her lips as no one had noticed her horn had been glowing softly for the whole time they had been here.

Author's Note

And here we go again. Not gonna be as long as i first planed because that was just copying from the episode.

Bonus points for any one who gets the event planners names.

Scratching Post Social

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Scratching Post Social

Sweetiebelle blinked, staring up at the white horn before noticing that Princess Luna had gotten a lot smaller after falling in the mud at the start of the race.

She blinked again and wiped a hoof across the mud covered flank, showing a white coat and three blue diamonds.

“Rarity? “ Sweetiebelle squeaked as the unicorn's horn glowed, the mud sluicing from her form revealing a pair of fairly well crafted fabric wings attached to her back to give the illusion of being an alicorn.

“What?”Sweetiebelle blinked.” Where's Luna?”

A moment later a ball of energy rose out of the mud pit and floated over to solid ground before landing with a faint pop revealing the unmuddied Princess of the Night.

“What?”

“We switched places at the first obstacle.” Rarity explained.

“So I ran the whole race with you......”Sweetiebelle blinked looking over to Applejack and Applebloom as they ran in the next heat. “Why? I didn't even think you were coming?”

“To be honest I had this planned out a little before you asked and I didn't quite want to ruin it.”Rarity offered. “Plus you had already stated you were going to participate with Princess Luna.”

Sweetiebelle blinked.

“So we ran the whole race together with you covered in mud...” Sweetiebelle was still trying to process this. “ Why?”

“Well you were mad at me for not doing anything with you I thought...” Rarity began.

“I'm not mad at you cause we don't do anything together, I'm mad at you cause when we do do something together it turns out to be like the Gala or my fifth birthday party.” Sweetiebelle squeaked out in anger. “ You make it more about you, than about us doing something.”

Rarity blinked looking down at Sweetiebelle who was clearly more agitated than happy her sister had joined her in this event. Rarity also took note her sister held a grudge for a long time.

“I do not try to do things like that, and for the record I have explained to you quite often what happened on your fifth birthday and you still do not believe me.” Rarity sighed frowning herself. “I do have my own life Sweetie and while what I did at the Gala was uncalled for I am still trying to do my best to make sure you are still a part of it.”

Sweetiebelle stared at Rarity. “You still don't get it!”

Rarity rolled her eyes at that. “ Then please enlighten me Sweetiebelle.”

“I know you try to do things with me, and I know you care, but every time something big comes up that I want to do you can't, or every time you invite me to something it's for your benefit!”

“Well you invited me to this and I came.” Rarity added.

“Well..... yeah... that's a start.... but did you have to be so dramatic about it?”Sweetiebelle sighed.

“Dear, me dramatic?” Rarity frowned as Sweetiebelle stared. “ Fine... perhaps I could tone that down a bit. Rahs seems to be trying for the towns drama queen harder than I am.”

Both of them looked over to Rahs who was overreacting to the cuteness of the Filly scouts trying to sell him cookies, going through a grand three part death scene clutching his chest. Spike was just eating the box of short bread he already gave the five bits for.

“I am trying Sweetie, that's the best I can do.” Rarity sighed.

“So it seems that thou do need more then the quick fix thee envisioned Rarity.” Princess Luna spoke up.

“I never expected a quick fix.”Rarity sighed.” I wanted her to know I am trying though.” Rarity looked down at Sweetiebelle with a small smirk that was returned.

“Excellent, then we shall do what we can to help!” Luna cheered, grabbing both of them and bringing them into a bone crushing hug. Rarity flailed as the life was choked out of her, Sweetiebelle simply sighed as if used to it. “It shall be glorious to have two younger sisters with which to assist and care for.”

“What!?” Rarity gasps.

“She's very huggy.” Sweetiebelle deadpanned.

Rahs face paws from the stands watching the goings on. You couldn't help hear Luna really, he also refused to call Rarity auntie either.

WHAP!

“What!?” Luna demanded as the newspaper slapped her on the back of the head, held in the golden glow of magic. It was enough for her to release Rarity and Sweetiebelle.

“Stop adopting every pony you think is cute.” Celestia stated as she strode up still popping Luna with the newspaper.” Do you know how much paper work you are already giving me with that?”

“We cannot help it, it is adorable!” Luna protested swatting the newspaper away with a huff.

“No!” Celestia frowned.”It is a bad habit. The Sparkles, the Reignolds, and that one noble...”

“That last one was a joke in order to make him worried. We simply said some pony clearly didn't raise him properly and perhaps we should adopt him in order to properly raise him correctly with manners.” Luna rolled her eyes.

“Lulu.....”

“At least we work to make their lives better, all thine vices do is make thine posterior larger.” Luna scoffed. “Do not think we didn't notice thee signing us up for the cupcake eating contest, just so thou could solo it.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Celestia protested.

“Hey, Amber Waves, I got the new batch of cupcakes for the contest. I have no idea how you cleared out those first two thousand so quick.” Pinkie Pie yelled as she trotted up balancing a massive stack of boxes on her head.

Princess Celestia's head turned following the bouncing stack of boxes with a predatory gleam in her eyes before a newspaper slapped her on the back of the head.

“No, bad Tia.” Princess Luna smirked holding the newspaper.

Princess Celestia glared at her sister who only smiled.

“Umm excuse me Princesses.” Purple Mountain hesitantly stated, flinching as both Princesses turned to look at her.” We are preparing for the last run of the race course and your names are both on a ticket for a run.”

Luna looked at Celestia and the pair smiled.

“Certainly.” Princess Luna offered.

“Who are we competing against? Princess Celestia asked.” And is the cupcake eating contest still going on afterward?”

“That would be me.” Twilight Sparkle stated, trotting up to the two princesses wearing a blue bandanna around her neck.

Luna, Celestia, Rarity and Sweetiebelle all stared at Twilight curiously.

“We were unaware though had a sister Twilight.” Luna stated.

“She doesn't.” Celestia sighed.” Twilight this had better not be Rahs in a dress again.”

“YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS I LOOKED BETTER THAN YOU IN THAT DRESS AND YOU KNOW IT!”

“Of course not, he's over there on the stands making a fool of himself.” Twilight stated before pointing to a white unicorn mare with a blue mane and tail trotting up to her also with a blue bandanna around her neck looking more than a little embarrassed to be there.

“I cannot believe you talked me into this Twili.” Shining Armor sighed.

“Oh you know you love it... Gleaming Shield.” Twilight grinned. “ Besides you owe me for not telling me about the engagement.”

“I sent you a bunch of letters.” Shining sighed. “ Cadence is a little freaked out it seems as of late, she acts like she's avoiding me.”

“Pre wedding jitters probably.” Pinkie Pie stated from the middle of the group. Everyone jumped back not having seen her or the gray furred purple maned mare in the smock even walk up to the group.

“Pinkie Pie, what?” Twilight asked.

“Me and Maud are gonna be racing too!” Pinkie Pie cheered bouncing up and down as her sister looked on impassively.

“Umm okay if you would all head to the starting line.” Purple Mountain squeaked out. “ We can start.”

“Ummm, Sweetiebelle and I are just going to go.... over here and watch ...” Rarity blinked wondering if there was a reinforced bunker some where they could hide in.

The group trotted over to the starting line with Twilight and Princess Celestia trading smack talk and Luna doing her best not to laugh at 'Gleaming Shield'.

Purple Mountains shuddered looking over to her own sister. Both of them silently wondering who they could foist this event off on next year.

Author's Note

i knew this one wasn't going to be an easy fix as canon Sweetie holds a long grudge. Rarity is at least trying.

Also i didn't expect this chapter to be too long there was only so much i could do with it. Much like the next chapter.

Putting Your Toe Beans Down.

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Putting Your Toe Beans Down.

[Maize Maze]

Rahs grumbled a little taking a seat on the ground so other ponies could see over him. This was a rather unexpected situation. He had Twilight and Fluttershy pressed to either side of him, half under his coat due to the press of the crowd around him.

Twilight had wanted to meet the author of a self help book she was reading and Fluttershy wanted to have more confidence.

At least that was what he was told, he didn't buy it at all from Fluttershy after the raid.

As such both of them had asked him to come along with them. Fluttershy to make sure she actually went, and Twilight in case the crowds were too much for her. He had only had to throw one pony to the back of the stadium for trying to do the same to Fluttershy. By the end of the crowd filing in however they had wound up about in the middle of the crowd, thus he was getting squished between the two. Were one not his sister and the other close enough to Pinkie Pie, the earth pony's sugary scent clung to her, he would have been considered lucky by most guys.

Both of them only seemed fully there when they were focused on their interests. Still if this seminar worked then he supposed it wouldn't be too bad.

Twilight didn't exactly need a confidence class, but the ideals from it could be transferred to some of her problems and he was willing to help her with that. So was Spike, but it was a school night, so the little drake missed out.

Fluttershy seemed a little less prone to phobias and mental issues, but her very personality made her a a push over for some of the locals, at least when they knew Angel Bunny wasn't nearby.

Rahs thought she could benefit from some acting classes, but that was his go to for everything really. Maybe the same thing he got Trixie to do make a persona for herself that could do everything that she herself couldn't.

It was worth trying, if this didn't work.

Rahs blinked as the arena lights dimmed and the spot lights clicked on, revealing a smokey stage. He was quite certain that the horn blasts were playing a short cheap version of Pontera's 'Eye of the Tiger' as well. A shadowy form appeared in the smoke and threw off a cloak, Rahs was already impressed with the theatrics.

There was a explosion of fireworks and a massive blue minotaur strode out of the smoke throwing boxing jabs and hopping about riling the crowd up as he went.

Rahs' jaw dropped and he quickly grabbed Twilight's book from her hooves looking over the author's name before staring back at the figure on the stage.

Rahs stared as the minotaur did his best to work up the crowd even more, the lot of them stomping and carrying on.

“Now to show that Iron Will's teaching can help any pony, I'm going to need a volunteer.” The large minotaur stated, looking out over the audience, most of whom raised a hoof.

Those who did were automatically checked off his list of possible volunteers, the ones who could best help from this were the meek ones hiding behind others not raising their hooves at all. They would be the best to showcase his training steps and would show the most improvement in the shortest time.

Granted he hadn't expected the large figure to rise out of the middle of the crowd, looming over all of them.

Iron will narrowed his eyes as a spotlight passed over the massive figure and he gestured getting the light operator to bring it back and stop on the large dark blue figure in the lavender long coat.

“YOU!” Iron Will snapped, pointing at the cat a scowl on his face. He hopped off the stage and advanced into the crowd. The ponies between Iron Will and the figure quickly parted as the minotaur stomped up to dark figure, the locals recognizing the Moon Dog immediately.

Iron will took note of the two ponies at his feet before his gaze met the amber orbs of the Moon Dog. The two stared at each other, both of them standing the same height , meeting each others gaze as if they were ready to throw down.

The crowd waited with baited breath.

Suddenly there was a sound like a gunshot as hand and claw met in a powerful and likely crushing slap together in a crushing claw/hand shake.

“Will.”

“Rahs you son of a bitch, how've yah been?” Iron Will smiled.

“Of course he knows him...” Twilight face hooved.

“So you met my brother in an acting class?” Twilight questioned taking a sip of the tea the Minotaur had offered them. The small group had been invited back stage after the presentation.

“Right, Iron Will was in Canterlot and he joined a couple of theater classes to master speaking on stage in front of large crowds.” Iron Will exclaimed.

“Wow, what are the odds.” Fluttershy muttered.

“Pretty good, actually, there were and still are only two theater groups in Canterlot that accepted non ponies, Rahs is part of both of them.” Twilight explained. “Princess Celestia doesn't like it but it's a private business so she can't tell them how to run things so long as it doesn't hurt any one, and they still allow non ponies to the shows at standard price, they just don't involve non pony actors. Something that's hurt them in recent years given Princess Celestia and Princess Luna frequent the two theaters that allow every one, and Franches Montagnesn Cloppala, refuses to allow any of his plays to be shown at those theaters.”

“Right being the two biggest in the class we got paired together to go over small stage plays and lines.” Iron Will smiled gesturing to Rahs with a thumb. “Hardest part was to getting this guy to say anything in any language I could understand.”

“Yeah he does that. Thanks for signing my book.” Twilight sighed.

“Don't mention it.” Iron Will smiled.”I've got another book for you little filly, though if you have any trouble I'm sure Rahs here can help you out too. That persona thing he and Shirley came up with is great, it's chapter eighteen in my book.”

“If you can't follow my plan, become some one who can.” Twilight read.” Huh.”

[?]

“Twilight Sparkle,Unicorn, Element of Magic, despite her emotional and metal problems as well as a list of phobias, she will be the most problematic. Her magic is on par if not greater than the last known royal arch mage. Rumor has it that was the position Celestia was grooming her for before the pair had a falling out. The Princess and her student have mended their bridges, though Twilight prefers to live away from the castle. She is most dangerous when some one she cares for is in trouble, see my earlier message on what happened to the dragon migration in Twin Peaks. She is dating the eldest son in the Ponyville branch of the Apple family, a one Big Mac, she has made friends with nearly every pony in Ponyville or at least met their acquaintance, and is close friends with the other five bearers of harmony and the Blueblood noble house. Princess Cadence was also her babysitter and Shining Armor is her brother.”

“I know that, get on with the others.”

Rahs Sparkle, Moon Dog, adopted, had been known to take an earth pony form due to the reaction to Poison Joke. Has combat trained with the Royal Guard in Ponyville and with the leader of the Jade Wolves, formerly Wolf Fang pack of Ponyville. Skill level unknown, but due to incident in Fillydelphia is considered proficient enough to defeat an entire organization through brute force and guerilla tactics. minor spells do not work on him at all and major spells take more power than usual to keep affecting him, eats magic and uses it to buff himself and heal wounds, neither of these are a conscious process. Anything that does hit him will be felt by the other three Sparkle Siblings and anything done to one of them affects him though for a lesser duration and higher upkeep. Has also been reported to have been the one that kept Discord busy by himself while the others hunted the Elements of Harmony. The state of Discord's statue upon return to Canterlot adds validity to this rumor.

“Interesting. Go on.”

“Spike Sparkle, Dragon. Adopted. Despite being what most dragons consider a baby, he has shown that he is much smarter than many give him credit for, seems to excel in out of the box thinking and strategy even more so than his sister, but perhaps on par with his eldest brother. Hard to damage scales, fire proof and is capable of messenger flame to his sister, and all three Princesses. Has been known to be able to grow to a massive size some how, details on that are unknown. Currently dating the youngest of the Ponyville Apple family...... I guess, they're still grubs after all....”

“Move on to the Elements.”

“Applejack Apple, earth pony, Bearer of Honesty. Farmer, impressively strong, stubborn though has some hoof to hoof fighting ability, mostly from what has been seen variations on boxing and wrestling. Siblings are Big Mac and Applebloom, elder is one Granny Smith who has known connections to Princess Celestia.”

“That is something we can use later.”

“Rarity Reignolds, Unicorn, Bearer of the Element of Generosity. Rumored to have been adopted into Princess Luna's family along with her younger sister Sweetiebelle. Liaison between Ponyville and Jade Wolves. While fairly weak magically she knows a number of martial arts taught to her by her father Magnum Reignolds, former Private investigator, former wrestler in the Luca Burro circlet, her mother Cookie Crumbles is barely of note.”

“I've had reports on that. Apparently Luna has a habit of adopting or attempting to adopt ponies at random. A bit of an oddity as one of the noble families is directly decant of her and she want's nothing to do with them. Still I can use this. Go on.”

“Rainbow Dash, pegasus, bearer of the Element of Loyalty, highly skilled flier, black belt in three martial arts, including Griffonesse Kenpo, and a brown belt in two others. Possibly the most combat focused of any of them due to her desire to become a Wonderbolt. Currently dating Prince Blueblood of the BlueBlood family, is some what of a big sister to a one Scootaloo Fyre.

“The daughter of Spitfire and Soarin Fyre of the Wonderbolts. These ponies are far more connected than I thought.”

“It gets worse. Fluttershy Shy, Pegasus, Bearer of the Element of Kindness, parents in Cloudsdale, nothing of note there, brother however is the former head of the animal rights group PETA.”

“Oh stars, those idiots. They invaded the Los Pegasus hive twice trying to free the grubs....”

“... any way, possess something of a 'stare' ability though the details of it are unknown. Known affiliates with the Planeteer group of eco terrorists, the sea pony Green Peace, and at least two other eco terrorist groups either by association with a member, or by deal made with said groups leadership. Is also a member in good standing with the Canterlot Gardens, Royal Conservation Group, Humane Society, and Friends of Feline. As well as dozens more documented and undocumented animal welfare groups. The attack on the PETA HQ was in part preformed by one of these groups.”

“That.... is worrying.”

“ Then there is Pinkie Pie, earth pony, Element of Laughter. Has evaded all manner of information gathering and has likely found out more on us than we have on her. Known baker in Sugar Cube Corner, suspected of dating Fluttershy, known sister, Maud Pie, everything else is a mystery, she's done impossible things, has something called a pinkie sense, and she has noticed Kevin.”

“What?”

“She noticed Kevin, and gave him a cupcake for 'looking like a sad little bug pony'.”

“You're kidding?”

“No. Then there are the CMC Scootaloo, AppleBloom, Sweetiebelle, and Spike. They have a list a mile long....”

“We know about them, there's files and files in Canterlot insurance claims about those four.”

“There are a smattering of others. Prince Blue Blood, the Goddess of Storms Bleu Scale, Alpha Jynx who knows of us. Where ever Rahs' real parents are, they have been over heard in discussion but no location was over heard. And of course a one Trixie Lulumoon who has seen through our disguise.”

“We have tracked them from earlier reports. Jynx is being kept busy with some dissident elements we have riled up, Trixie is in Neigh Orleans, the letters for Bleu's wedding invite have been intercepted as have the ones for King Kaz. We have no idea on Rahs' true parents, but they are not on any guest list we have seen so perhaps they are unreachable. So far we have been able to keep the exact date of the wedding from the Sparkles in Ponyville, but the close interaction between Shining and Twilight has made keeping the knowledge of it from them entirely impossible. It's a long shot, but delay them as long as you can.”

“Of course mother.” Saturnia sighed.

Author's Note

and now... the wedding! :trollestia:

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Prologue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 1,
Prologue

[Friendship Express ]

The train was click-clacking slowly up the mountain after a rather rough start where at least two engines broke down and the third had to be stopped because some pony let Bees into the engineer's compartment.

No one was quite sure how the odd pony had gotten in there, but he was promptly kicked out.

Still, three hours, one rock slide, and a knocked out trestle bridge later they were almost at Canterlot. The later two problems taken care of in minutes thanks to one of the passengers.

There were three cars being brought along, the first held a number of supplies, the second the majority of the passengers.

Rarity was in a tizzy, sketching in a note pad getting a few designs taken care of, the invite from Princess Celestia was sudden and she hadn't expected that she would be working on all the brides maids dresses and a wedding gown too, with only three days before the wedding. Sweetiebelle was watching the designs being made and offering insights on things regarding her time with Princess Luna in Canterlot.

Applejack and Big Mac were also writing down a few things, putting together an ingredients list of what they would need for various dishes. Sweet Apple Acres had been marked down as the caterer of this event, and just like Rarity they had three days to get everything in order. Applebloom was off to the side offering her own suggestions on food to the pair. This was not exactly helpful as she had suggested apple fritters at least four times.

Rainbow Dash was hovering over a seat shifting her hoof around as if she was testing the proper angles of various moves, out of all of them she had the least taxing job, just do a rain boom, something she had been able to hammer out consistently since the Best Young Fliers Competition. Scootaloo sat under her with a big sheet of paper trying to sketch out how the moves would look. Fireball sat nearby, lightly dozing.

Fluttershy was curled up in a corner looking through a song book, her birds clustered around her as she tried to figure out which song would be fitting, fretting more and more with each turned page.

Pinkie Pie was currently sitting in nearly all the other empty seats at once, practically vibrating around as she thought of how the Princess wanted her to plan the reception.

The last one sitting in the car was Spike who had recently hatched a little phoenix chick, Peewee The little bird was sitting on his shoulder chirping and hopping about watching out the window. Spike however had his eyes on the door to the other car.

In the other car, there were two individuals.

One was a large dark blue furred canine like creature who was stretched out over a number of seats with his head hanging over a bucket. While Rahs Sparkle had never liked to travel by train, his current illness had started a few days ago. His eyes had gone blurry and his whole head felt stuffed up like he had a cold. Plus given how much he slept or lazed around normally this had knocked him out even further.

He had managed a heroic stand to make it into the car before falling over again in a huff, not even having the energy to move away from the other occupant in the car.

Across from him sitting on a half melted bench was a white pony with flame for her mane and tail. She had recently been told she was to help organize an entire wedding and ensure it all ran smoothly.

For her brother.

In three days time.

A full Canterlot Wedding, with hundreds, if not thousands of ponies in attendance to witness the marriage of a Princess and a secret Prince.

Something she had only heard about the engagement to a month ago.

Something that she had received a letter about from Princess Celestia though Spike's dragon mail today in a off hoofed letter asking how the preparations were going to something she didn't even know was happening.

Suffice to say the interruptions of that stupid pony, and track malfunctions had not helped her remain calm. Rahs being sick didn't help either as the drama dog rarely caught anything, and when he did he played it up like he was in Masque of the Red Death. The only reason she knew he was actually sick this time is he hadn't moved into the second car like every one else.

But most of her ire was directed at the pony who didn't even send her a letter to tell her when the wedding was.

Shining Armor.

Hopefully Cadence didn't mind him being a bit damaged when she got him.

[?]

“Mother. We failed to stop them. The Sparkles and the Element Bearers are on their way.” Saturnia told the mirror.

A loud exclamation of , 'Shit!', was the only response.

Author's Note

Cue the music

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 1, Part 1

[Friendship Express ]

“Are you alright Spike?” Rarity asked looking over at the little dragon and the chirping phoenix chick bouncing along his head spines.

“Ehh mostly. Little worried about Twilight and Rahs. Twilight's been really angry lately and Rahs being sick is really weird. He doesn't get sick, heck I get sick more than him and there's barely anything that affects dragons.”

“Poorly timed too given his job on the list was to prepare the bachelor party.” Rarity frowned.

“Meh, he'd probably just get Poindexter or Gaffer to run it, they supposedly did pretty well with 8-Bit's bachelor party.” Spike shrugged. “Or maybe he'd go all into it full tilt, we'll never know with him this sick.”

“Hmmm perhaps it is better this way.” Rarity summarizes.

“Right, I mean can you imagine the kinda party he'd throw? They'd probably lose Shining on a roof some where, steal a tiger, get a tooth or two knocked out and get involved with a salt cartel somehow.”Pinkie Pie chimed up.

Spike and Rarity looked at Pinkie a moment before wisely dropping the conversation.

[ Canterlot ]

“Alright.... this raises some questions.” Twilight frowned as she and the others exited the train.

Surrounding the train station and stationed everywhere that they could see, were Guards. All of them fully armored, armed to the teeth and looking ready for a fight. Twilight took note tat they were all Solar Guard and Heart Guard, the Night Guard were likely asleep at the moment. Still this looked like the entire Equestrian Guard was here. On the tallest tower Twilight spotted Princess Celestia who was looking through a telescope and speaking with a few pegasi guard who took off to deliver her orders.

Then there was the massive shield surrounding the entire city,Twilight recognized her brothers hoof work immediately. They hadn't seen it from Ponyville as a massive amount of cloud cover had been used to hide the top of the mountain, leaving Canterlot with clear skys but blocking the view of any thing approaching from seeing the massive barrier.

“Relax darling, it's a royal wedding. A grand event like this is sure to bring out the strangest ponies, they are just being extra prepared.” Rarity offered.

Spike blinked and frowned.”This is a bit excessive for just some strange ponies Rarity. It looks more like they're preparing for an invasion. That cloud covers a common pegasi tactic. While Princess Celestia could direct the pegasi to open holes so she could look out, no one could see in and if they attacked would be stopped by the barrier and easily be repelled.”

“Invasion?” Fluttershy meeped.

The small group looked at each other for a moment.

“Who's holding the money?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“I'll do it this time dear. Also I'm putting down ten on a jilted mare friend of Shining's.”Rarity stated.

“I'll match that and put in fer an ex-colt friend of Princess Cadence.” Applejack offered.

“Mare friend o hers.”Big Mac stated getting a glare from Applejack.

“I say it's another one of Princess Celestia's.” Spike offered.

“I'm good for one of Princess Luna's this time.” Fluttershy chimed up.

“You want in Twilight? Rahs?” Pinkie chimed up.”Also put me down for the return of Dark Snooty

Twilight sighed a moment looking for her older brother before spotting him.

“Ten for a Yakistan delegation having declared war again.” Rainbow Dash stated getting an odd look from everyone. “ What? I'm dating an ambassador, I hear things.....”

Rahs simply groaned weakly and followed Twilight towards Shining.

It wasn't hard to get to Shining Armor, he was directing a number of Guards at the base of the tower Princess Celestia was on. A massive Nocturne, Nox-Cal stood nearby, towering over the other Guard, judging by her armor and the markings on her collar, this was Guard Captain Lion Heart the twelveth, Shining's rank equivalent in the Night Guard.

The large pony noted Rahs and Twilight before Shining did and got the other Captains attention. A few of the regular guards looked worried at the approach of an irate looking unicorn and a diamond dog, but with the Captains and several other older guards recognizing them they were not stopped.

“Twiliy, Rahs. Finally. I was starting to get worried, I haven't heard from you since that.... event..... we went to.” Shining trailed off as Lionheart laughed and ushered them off, taking over running things.

Twilight's ears perked a little as her brother sounded a bit nasally, he also looked as if he hadn't slept in some time. Her anger faded a bit as she looked on with concern. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine … just a bit of a head cold, maybe allergies, runny nose, sinus pressure and the like, nothing that's gonna stop me from walking down the aisle.” Shining smirked and nodded at Rahs. “Look's like I'm not the only one. Guess it's going around.”

Twilight frowned at that.

“Woof.” Rahs managed pointing a claw menacingly at his brother.

“Right, what he said! What's the big idea not telling us the date of the wedding, and then dumping all this work on us at once?”Twilight growled.

“What do you mean all at once, Cady said she asked every one to do this months ago? And I know I sent a letter to each of you. We hadn't heard back in a while so Cady hired some others to take care of the wedding.” Shining blinked. “Granted she also recently moved it up two months, out of summer and into spring because evidently the date has some meaning for her.”

“We never got any letter.” Twilight frowned. “And what sort of meaning would suddenly come up like that that you move a wedding?”

“Beats me, she's been a bit standoffish lately, but I'm pretty sure she's just freaking out over the wedding. I had Celestia send a reminder directly to Spike because I hadn't heard from any of you in a while.”

Twilight flattened her ears, she could definitely see the Princess of Love freaking out over her own wedding. Plus Ponyville had been having a good bit of mail trouble since that Bees guy started at the post office, but she had never heard any complaints of him losing any letters he sorted.

“Wuff?” Rahs finally asked after snorting what was likely the greenest boogers she had ever had the displeasure to see into a handkerchief .

“Eeew. Right, despite that he has a point. What the heck is going on with all this. Shouldn't you be getting ready for the wedding?” Twilight asked.

“You would think that, but......” Shining looked over at his Night Guard counterpart and sighed. “Look I'm only telling you this because you're one of the Element Bearers....” he looked to Rahs “And technically a prince though that's still weird to me, even though I've taken advantage of it.” Shining smirked. “ But a threat has been made against Canterlot.”

“A threat?” Twilight blinked.

“Right we don't know who did it or where it came from, but the Princesses are taking it very seriously. We've got a full force of guards stationed here and we're investigating everything. It's been hectic as all get out here for the last few weeks. Heck I've been so busy I've forgotten I was supposed to be getting married a few times.”

“Who would... who even could, threaten Canterlot?”Twilight considered.

“Beats me, knowing our luck probably one of the Princesses ex's.” Shining sighed.“ Princess Luna has taken a sizable contingent of her Guard and has gone to check Tartarus to see if any thing there has escaped. That might take a while given the size of that place.”

“The girls just started betting on that.” Twilight grumbled.

“Really? Put me down for the Storm King. He's been amassing an army for a few years now, and he's never been a fan of Equestria.” Shining considered.

“Seriously?” Twilight grumbled as Rahs snickered.

“Hmm?” Shining paused looking up at the shield. “Hold on.”

Twilight and Rahs watched as their older brother's horn glowed brightly, a beam of fuchsia colored energy shot from his horn lighting up the area before it strikes the dome, the shield emitting out a loud hum as the new power rejuvenated it.

As the light faded from his horn Shining winced and reached a hoof up to clutch his head.

At the same time Rahs whimpered and sat down doing much the same.

Twilight looked between her brothers with a calculated thought.

“Okay, I think I see a pattern. How long have you been keeping the shield active?” Twilight asked.

“About a week now.” Shining sighed knowing the lecture that was coming, he already heard it from mom. “Yes, I'm the only one empowering it because I'm the most versatile shield caster in the Guard. I've got it set to specific conditions and who and what it allows through. I knew you and your friends were coming as well as the crew and other passengers on the train, thus you got through. Any one I don't allow is bounced off the shield.”

“I get that, I don't like it, but I get that. I can't even match what you can do with one of your shields.” Twilight placated catching onto the 'mom was here first' tone. “Rahs has been ill about that long.....

Rahs and Shining stared at their sister as she started to talk. The magical science explanation making both of them start to tune out. It was a sparkle defense mechanism. The whole family had it, though it was more often brought into play against Twilight, Rahs ranting about theater, or Shining and Spike going on about Ogres and Oubliettes. Nightlight had been known to rant on astronomy occasionally too. It simply allowed to tune out who ever in their family was getting too into their focus

They both snapped back awake as she started drawing graphs and charts on the walls and brick behind her with a bit of chalk.

“.... basically that leads to the computerization....”

“STOP! Now, explain that for those of us who didn't memorize a thesaurus?””

Twilight huffed at her brothers, not noting they tuned out , but noticing she had started drawing on the castle walls.”It means that with all the extra magic you're casting, it's weakening his magic regeneration thus allowing him to catch a cold.”Twilight simplified. “Theoretically.”

“Why didn't you just say that?” Shining asked.

“I did.....” Twilight grumbled.

“Sorry about that bro... I didn't think my headaches would be giving any one else trouble.”Shining sighed. “ Still I have to keep it up for a while longer, are you gonna be okay?”

Rahs' response was a rude Griffonesse gesture he had come to employ a lot as of late.

“I'll take that as a yes.” Shining chuckled.

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part 2, and a three and a four five....

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 1, Part 2,
and a three and a four five......

[Canterlot]

“So where is Cadence any way?”Twilight asked, one hoof rubbing Rahs' back as he whimpered beneath his coat.

“Well I'm supposed to be meeting her for lunch before too long.” Shining smirked.” You two wanna tag along?”

“Sure if it's not a problem. I doubt Rahs is in any condition to do so though.” Twilight considered. “Maybe I can get Cadence to let him eat a few of her spells, the boost might help you out too.”

“Maybe, though...” Shining sighed rubbing the back of his head with a hoof. “ I'd like to get you two talking first before you ask anything of her.”

“Huh?” Twilight blinked. “Why would she have a problem helping out?”

“She's kinda mad at you two actually.” Shining muttered. “ Only really found out about it this morning, but it seems some pony told her you were behind the stuff with Blueblood's date.”

“Shining!”

“Hey it wasn't me, heck it's been a few months too and she's been hiding it pretty well. It does explain why she's not wanted to go down to Ponyville lately though.” Shining placated. “ She just mentioned it over breakfast this morning.”

“Great. An unexpected side effect of helping Prince out.” Twilight sighed. “Still she should understand we were helping him, if I can explain that we should be fine. I'd rather smooth this over before the wedding. There's enough stress as it is.”

“No kidding, though that is why I invited you to lunch, hopefully this can all be resolved.” Shining sighed.

“Really if you were going to lunch with your sister I'll just head home then.”

Twilight, Rahs, and Shining Armor looked up as a pink alicorn approached. Cadence glared at Rahs and Twilight, the scowl she wore when she met their eyes was an odd expression to see on her face. Twilight couldn't remember ever seeing the like, not even when she raided the cookie jar as a filly.

“Cady come on....” Shining rolled his eyes.

“Oh no, don't you 'come on' me.” Cadence snapped back.”I've been trying for years to get you to stop being mad at your parents and you ignore me, so don't expect me to suddenly be all happy with those two because you want me too.”

“Wait, what?” Twilight stammered looking at the pair then to Rahs who also tried to look confused and innocent at the same time. ”Why are you mad at us?”

Cadence whirled on them, her face inches from Twilight's as she scowled, her green eyes glaring at the smaller unicorn.

“Gee I don't know Twilight could it have something to do with my being set on fire and rolled out of town in a hay cart? Or maybe the exploding bees? “Cadence snapped. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to get my fur back to normal?”

“Wha... huh?!?” Twilight stammered as Cadence pulled away trotting off back towards Shining.

“You're lucky I let any of you even come to the wedding after all that.” Cadence sneered. “ Tell your friends I'll stop by later to see how they've progressed and I'll decide if I should use the others I hired instead.”

She started trotting off glancing back to Shining.

“Are you coming?” she asked flatly before walking off again.

“Sorry.” Shining Armor muttered before trotting after his fiancee.

[ Later ]

Rahs groaned from where he lay face down on the floor in the corner of the kitchen a wet rag covering his head only allowing his nose to poke out as Twilight finished talking about the encounter to the Applejack, Big Mac, Applebloom, Rainbow Dash, Scootalloo,and Spike.

The three former were running around the kitchen working with a couple of other chefs to get the food prepared. The latter two were goofing off and playing with the cake toppers, Rainbow Dash was using Rahs a pillow and partially napping on his back while staying out of the way.

“Whoooa nelly. If she's that onry about it, ah don't like tha idea she might come in here.” Applejack grumbled checking on the ice sculpture. “We jus about got everything ready....”

The door to the kitchen opened suddenly and a surly looking Heart Guard strode in. The occupants of the kitchen all froze and watched him as his green eyes scanned the room briefly before he hoofed a scroll to the nearest chef and stormed out again.

The earth pony chef who had been given the scroll frowned noting the royal seal, before she opened the scroll reading it. As she finished she threw it into the air and screamed before falling over onto her back.

Rahs held up a card without moving much that said 7.

“That ain't good.” Applebloom frowned.

“New orders, she wants everything in chocolate and strawberry instead of vanilla.” The screaming chef shouted as she buried her head in her hooves.

“Chocolate and strawberry!?!” Applebloom gasped.”We already finished everything in strawberry and vanilla. It's gonna take us a whole nother day tah get all that changed.”

“Alright..... best git to it ah guess.” Applejack sighed picking up the note. “She wants tha ice sculpture tah be a solid pair of hearts now too.”

“Ah'll get another block of ice.” Big Mac sighed.

“This is ridiculous.” Twilight sighed. “This isn't like Cadence at all.”

“Ehh what can we do, it's her wedding and she's paying well.” A chef called out in response.” she's not the worst I've dealt with.”

“I'll go talk to her.” Rainbow Dash huffed rolling off Rahs to her hooves. “It was my date she was gonna screw with so I can tell her to get over herself without any issues. You wanna come along squirt, beats sitting here playing with dolls.”

“Action figures!” Spike and Scootaloo both protested as Dash laughed.

“Dash be nice. “ Twilight warned.” She's justified in being mad.”

“Yeah well so am I. You guys kept her and Princess Celestia from sticking their nose were it didn't belong. Worst case she tells me I can't do the rain boom for the wedding, and that's her loss not mine.”Rainbow Dash shrugged.

“Hold up a second Dash.” Spike shouted dropping the Shining Armor cake topper on the counter. “ Did you have your Element with you?”

“Huh? Yeah I packed it up in my luggage. Turns out that thing works better than Prince's status to get us into places and out of trouble, I always carry it around.” Dash stated.

“Rahs?” Spike asked looking over at his brother who nodded lightly.

“Wait why do you have my Element?” Twilight demanded glaring at her brother as he took the tiara out of his coat.

“Woof.” Rahs offered before he sneezed.

“That... okay that's not a bad reason. No one would suspect you of having it.”Twilight frowned.

“Plus with our track record it's better to keep those things close.” Spike pointed out.

“Good point we might need them.” Twilight nodded.

“Fraid ah didn't bring mine, wasn't thinking about it. “Applejack frowned. “ Dash you think you ken pop back tah tha farm and ask Granny tah git it fer me?”

“Huh? Yeah I guess. Probably should ask the others if they have theirs to.” Rainbow Dash considered.

“I got mine!” Pinkie Pie shouted popping out of a drawer and pulling the element of Laughter out of her mane to show them before dropping back into the drawer again.

“Oookay. Check with Fluttershy and Rarity before you go then. With this supposed invasion we might need them.” Twilight offered, ignoring what she just saw.

“Right I can do that.” Dash nodded before trotting out of the kitchen with Scootaloo in tow.

Twilight watched Dash leave before smiling.” Nice work Spike, she might forget all about fussing at Cadence by the time she gets back. At the very least I can warn Cadence she's coming.”

“I have my moments. Besides if there really is an attack better to have them if need be.” Spike smiled.

None of them noticed that a chef with green eyes had been watching them and listening to their plans as he mixed a new batch of fondant.

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part 5, “Three Sir!” “Three!!” Lobs grenade.

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 1, Part 5,
“Three Sir!”
“Three!!”
Lobs grenade.

[ Canterlot]

Rainbow Dash glided lazily over the city on her way back to Ponyville, she had been given clearance by one of the Guards to leave the bubble and head back to town to get the Elements of Harmony that were left in Ponyville.

Rainbow Dash had hers, as did Twilight, and Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy hadn't brought hers and and Rarity had mentioned that she didn't want to out shine the bride so she left hers at home. Applejack wasn't much for jewelry any way and had hers in a lock box back at the farm. Granny, and Harry the Bear could get the Elements for her and Rarity had told her where hers was hidden.

Rainbow Dash didn't understand how leaving it sitting on the neck of a poniken in her shop was hidden, and the explanation of ' in plain sight' went over her head.

In any case she was in route to get them and get back here as fast as she could. Of course she couldn't kick up the top speed until she got away from the city. With the damage she did to the windows in Ponyville she didn't want to hear it from the ponies around here.

As she was flying over Avianna manor something caught her eye and caused her to dive down towards a balcony and a frantically waving white unicorn stallion.

“Blue.... sup.... I can't talk too long I need to get going, super important mission and all that.”Rainbow smirked looking over her colt friend. She tried to play it cool and not break down into a girlish giggling just from the thought of it.

Prince smiled. “Don't worry I won't keep you, I just need to show you something right quick that I think you'll like.”

“Oh? Really ?” Dash smiled trying to look seductive, though she mostly looked like she was passing a stone or something. Prince however didn't notice as he walked back inside the manor with a gesture to follow.

Dash rolled her eyes at that trotting along after him, he missed her being sexy, pity.

“So what is it, did they update the sulky spells? Maybe a new paint job? Blue is faster than red after all.” Dash chuckled as she noticed something. “ Does it have something to do with why you're wearing green contacts?”

Any further questions were stopped as the door behind her slammed shut and several dozen dark figures jumped her.

[ Canterlot Castle kitchens, third wing]

“You think it will take Dash long to get the Elements?” Twilight asked with a sigh.

“ That depends on how sidetracked she gits with a nap or somthin shiny.” AJ snorted as she mixed another bowl of cake batter.

“Seriously?” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“What ? She's a friend, but lets face it, Pinkie Pie's got more focus than her mosta tha time.” Applejack placated.

“But this is important she has to be going at full speed. There's no telling who or what might attack us.” Twilight protested as Applebloom came back into the kitchen after heading to the little fillies room.

“Ah'm sure she'll arrive in the nick o time sugar, calm down. Applebloom you wash yer hooves?” Applejack stated. “An where's yer bow?”

“Course ah did, and my what?” Applebloom asked as she hopped up from behind the table to get to work on the pie rolls, her bow atop her head like always.

“Huh... guess ah'm more tired than ah thought, seeing green flashes and stuff now too.” Alright ponies we got tah git moving, I want something cooking in those ovens like an hour ago and some one send out fer more coco powder. Ah let yah have three hours ah sleep last night, that's more'n enough so lets go. We ken sleep when we're done.”

[ Mareiott hotel Canterlot]

“So you're not with your sister?” Scootaloo asked curiously. “ I thought you guys were doing better?”

“We are. Sweetiebelle squeaked,” It's just at this point she's in her 'zone' and anything I'd do would be in the way.”

“I know that feeling, there's not much I can do either.” Spike shrugged. “Twilight's still whining about how odd Cadence is and Rahs is in the hotel room trying to get over what ever has made him ill. Though he wants to go have a word with Cadence and I can't blame him. Twilight's gonna mope that her friend and soon to be sister in law is angry with her for weeks if Cadence doesn't get over it , and I don't want to deal with it.”

“Hmm well since we're doing nothing now, did you wanna go to Pony Joes?” Scootaloo asked leaning against the table in the hotel's cafe. “Dash won't be back for a while, so I'm already bored.”

“Ehh why not, I can use a doughnut. Maybe I can stop by the comic shop, see if they have any new miniatures in.” Spike offered. ”I'll let Rahs know I'm headed out for a bit and I'll come back down and we can go.”

The two fillies watched the drake head up stares before sharing a green eyed glance at each other.

“Okay something else has been bothering me.” Twilight stated, as she helped keep the ice sculpture from melting in the hot kitchen, a rather easy task as all she had to do was redirect the heat away from the ice. Granted that meant that Applejack was now in a coat to keep from freezing herself, but the farmer wouldn't hear of Twilight just melting and reshaping the ice herself.

“Something else?” Applejack asked around the pick.” How big's that list?”

“Only six items since this morning. But right, … who the heck is allergic to bunny fur?”

“Pardon?”

“It was in the letter we were sent. Fluttershy was told to leave Angel at home because some of the guests were allergic to bunny fur.” Twilight explained.

“Ah thought he still had that restraining order after tha gala?”Applejack asked.

“Do you really think that would stop him if Fluttershy hadn't told him to stay home for a reason she found legitimate?”

“Prolly not.” Applejack offered. “Least we dun have tah worry about him and yer brother trashing tha wedding.”

“You're still mad about that?”

“Do yah know how long it takes tah repair that much destroyed fence?”

[ Canterlot Garden]

Fluttershy looked down at Fluttershy with a bit of confusion. A hoof poked the prone pegasus as an eyebrow was raised.

Seriously it couldn't have been this simple, show up and the mare faints?

Fluttershy shook her head gesturing to the others to come and take the mare away before any one else showed up in the garden. The birds were clearly a lost cause, but really they were only needed for the reception and that was all, and it's not like any other pony spoke bird that they could talk to.

Still from what was heard about this mare they had brought a full three squads to deal with her, only to have her pass out in meeting herself.

As the others moved in to carry her off, Fluttershy felt a presence behind her. Turning she was greeted by the sight of a pink earth pony mare with balloons as her cutie mark and a very straight mane looking at the two Fluttershys.

The other squads readied themselves as the mare smiled a humorless smile that clearly should not be done on a ponys face as she looked at the prone Fluttershy on the ground then at the green eyed one standing over her.

“You Dun Goofed.” Pinkie Pie growled.

[ Canterlot Castle work room]

“Ow”

Tink.

“Ow”

Tink.

This was not something that Pharynx had expected when he was given this mission.

“Ow.'

Tink.

The unicorn fashionista was supposed to be the second easiest one of the group to snag. She didn't have much magic, she was practically exhausted from the glut of alterations that had to be done to 'Cadence's ' wedding dress and they already had her sister.

“Ow.”

Tink.

It was supposed to be easy.

“Ow'

Tink.

Well.... they had gotten her and replaced the wedding dress with a suit of Queen's armor that was disguised as a wedding dress, but.......

“Ow.”

Tink.

However the entire assault force was riddled with sewing needles stuck in their chitin and that was before the damn mare went all Stone Cold Stirrup Austin on the assault team. They had finally gotten her while she had a war drone in a headlock and was screaming at him to tap out or she'd feed him his own legs. The War drone was four times her size and designed to take on dragons. And she had pinned it.

“Ow.”

Tink.

Still on the bright side Pharynx growled as he looked down at the needle he just pulled out of his carapace, dropping it in a tray with dozens of others, they had succeeded with less casualties than the group that went after the yellow one.

The term sick as a dog never really applied to Rahs before.

Usually he was the one taking care of one of his siblings and aside from getting the occasional super mild strain of the flu when every pony else felt like death, and the cutie pox that one, very very weird time, he just didn't get sick.

Sure he over ate and got ill but that was different. Right now he couldn't drink enough and felt completely dehydrated, he also couldn't stop throwing up, and at times he was riddled with shakes as his body spasumed from whatever was infecting him. Add that to the fact he hadn't really eaten anything for a few days because he couldn't keep anything down and his nose didn't stop running due to throwing up so much. It was a bad time all around.

Now Twilight had theorized that he was drained so his immune system wasn't as high and thus something got through that shouldn't have.

Still he had eaten a number of Sweet Apple Acres apples for breakfast and hopefully that would bolster his magic back up.

He rather hoped he felt better soon as he wanted words with Cadence. Particularly since they did more for some ones love life than she did.

For now though, he was happy to lie in a cool room with a pitcher of water nearby and a large bucket close at claw and hopefully recover enough to be present at the wedding. At least the first day was over, and they were into the second day now. Hopefully he'd be fine soon.

A sudden flare of magic snapped his eyes open wide and he quickly rolled over the bed filling the bucket with all the apples he had previous eaten as well a good bit of green mucus that flooded from his nose. He coughed shuddering as he tried to figure out just what the Tartarus that had been. It felt like had been something cast on him directly though he didn't feel any magic in the area.

He coughed out more of the vomit washing his mouth out with the water before draining the rest of the pitcher and standing up shakily to go refill it from the sink.

This was something to tell Twilight, a spell nearby had made him throw up. That made him think the sickness might be magical in nature, something left over from the chaos along the link? Or maybe something else?

In either case he should probably find his sister.

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 1, Part FOOOOOUR!!! A golf ball sails past.

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 1, Part FOOOOOUR!!!
A golf ball sails past.

[Canterlot, Cadence's Love Lab, with new and improved secret tunnel access]

“ Why did you bring them here?” 'Cadence' sighed. “The princesses know about this place.”

“Sorry my queen but we needed to get them into the tunnels some how and they are not being cooperative.” Pharynx sighed looking over at the bound mares and fillies.

All of the captured ponies had been coated in green goop and left hanging upside down, stuck to the rooms rafters. Surrounding them all and filling the room were black carapace covered pony like creatures. They had bug like features and odd holes in various parts of their bodies, mostly their legs wings and heads. All of them also had varying green coloration and pronounced fangs.

Fluttershy was the least bound, her long pink hair nearly brushing the floor as she commented softly to one of the changelings near her about how this felt like one of her butterfly friends in a cocoon.

The three fillies were terrified, Though they weren't bound that tightly either.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity were tightly bound with several layers of goop. They were both also gagged as Dash wouldn't stop making threats and Rarity wouldn't stop telling any of them that would listen exactly what she was going to do to them, in a detail that would put horror writers to shame, if this didn't come out of her coat and mane.

Pinkie Pie however wasn't hanging from the rafters. The massive ball she had been trapped in was too heavy to lift like that and it barely fit through the doors into the room. A group of changelings was already making the new secret tunnel wider to allow it down the tunnel, and a half dozen more were around the ball ready to re goop it if any cracks formed.

The straight haired mare only glared at one of the changeling officers with murder in her eyes.

“It will only take a moment my queen.” the Changeling officer said glaring back at Pinkie Pie. “There are twenty drones that won't be able to make it to the fight because of this one.”

“The goal was to take them unharmed so those losses were acceptable.” Cadence stated.

“Are you sure we can't half drown this one?” The officer snarled, jabbing Pinkie's ball with a hoof. “ she took out my whole clutch....”

“No.” Cadence ordered.

“Feh.” The officer snorted getting closer to the bound mares head, returning her growl. “You hear that worm , you should count yourself lucky the queen is generous enough to spare you from.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH “ the officer shouted as Pinkie Pie opened her mouth, and bit down hard on the changelings nose.

“GIT IT OFF!!! GIT IT OFF!!” The officer screamed flailing.

Cadence rolled her eyes, her magic gripping Pinkie's mouth and forcing it open to let the officer go.

“Bind her mouth too.” Cadence ordered with a growl. “ Honestly this is a ham hooved approach I would rather have avoided. Can you all stop cursing at me long enough to listen a moment, the foals are better behaved.”

“Oh, but well, you did foal nap us so … I can understand why they're upset.” Fluttershy stated being the only one aside from the fillies who wasn't gagged.

Cadence looked at Fluttershy as all the others eyes turned to Cadence.

“Okay you have a point, still just remain calm and you'll all be released unharmed after the wedding is over. I have no business with any of you, and if not for the interference of Celestia you wouldn't even be here. Fear is a lousy meal.” Cadence stated urging a drone over to her. “Here.”

The drone held up a wooden box, showing that it held Rainbow Dash's and Pinkie Pie's Element of harmony. Cadence's horn flared and the box closed and sealed in green magic before quickly getting wrapped in green goop and stuck in the corner of the room before being glued there.

“You can come and get your Elements back when this is over, far be it for me to steal something that defeated Discord.” Cadence growled. “ the spell and resin will dissolve in about forty eight hours.”

“My Queen should we be letting them know where those are?” Pharynx questioned. ' It seems rather dangerous.”

“They only work for the chosen wielders and while I don't want to know what they might do to us, they have three of six and once we're done they can go back to being the first line of defense against what ever other threat comes about. Saves me from wasting energy on who ever else Celestia slept with coming back for revenge.” Cadence growled. “ Where are the other farmers?”

“Twilight Sparkle hasn't left her side nor her large brothers since you ran her off. “ Another Changeling reported. “However Twilight is stuck in some sort of logic loop as predicted and is venting to those two as they work. She starts whining on 'how could Cadence be mad at her', before doubling back into 'angry that Cadence was going to inter fear with her friends date'. It's rather interesting, that mare has issues.”

“Good. Keep an eye out for an opportunity to snag the other ones, and make sure this lot are all in separate sections of the mines. I want a squad each watching them.” Cadence stated. “ Where are the other Sparkles?”

“Rahs is still in the hotel room though it seems he is getting ready to leave and Spike is currently playing tour guide around Canterlot for our spies. He was also acting threatening to the proprietor of a doughnut shop for some reason.”

“One of ours?” Cadence asked.

“No, Unicorn. But he's accusing him of being something with a description close to us, a pod pony or what not. It's been odd. The whole family is weird.”

“Keep Spike occupied and keep Rahs away from both of them.” Cadence ordered.

“My queen shouldn't we simply capture them all and be done with it?” Pharynx asked.

“No ling is to touch any of the Sparkles.” Cadence growled as she watched the other Element's of Harmony be carried into the secret tunnel and in Pinkie's case, carefully rolled.” It's bad enough they are even here in Canterlot now and that we are capturing their friends is even worse. I do not want any of them to decide we are a target. So long as we have their friends we should be able to negotiate if we are found out. But if we take one of them the other two will track us down and destroy us.”

“I doubt they can do that....” another changeling stated.

“The Mare used a full grown dragon as a weed wacker to cut a swathe through and old growth forest. The Moon Dog is a relative unknown that fought a Chaos god by himself to a stand still, we are supremely lucky he is sick. The Dragon is a dragon and was responsible for key moments that lead to the defeat of Nightmare Moon and Discord, not to mention he has twice in his life grown to the size of the Dragon Lord in a instant and is the son of Bleu, if we mess with him she might decide to do something. I do not even want them to know of our existence, if we get one, the other two will be after us, if we get all three we will be sitting on a bomb that will explode at the worst time. That I am forced to deal with her brother is bad enough. One more day and this should be over, I don't need any surprises this late in the plan.”

“Of course my queen.”

Author's Note

"And thus ends part 2."

"part 1"

"Damnit now you got me doing it."

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 2, Part 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 2, Part 1

[Canterlot Comics, late afternoon on the second day]

“Oh neat the new Ponyfinder supplement came out.” Spike said excitedly picking up a book and looking through it.

The bored looking counter pony glanced up at Spike, before going back to his comic.”Yeah dude, the Dragonlancer remake came out too. It's not that good though.”

“Really? Dang I had high hopes for that one, ehh maybe I can use some of it.” Spike stated milling about looking over stuff.

Behind him two fillies were split on what they were doing One of them was having just as much fun as Spike, the other was staring bored at the piles of books and was poking around idly to see if there was anything of interest.

Despite his evident distraction, Spike took note of it.

Usually Scootaloo was bored out of her mind in comic shops, she liked some of them well enough due to a couple of films the theaters showed, but she had never gotten into reading comics and found all the O&O books super boring reads despite her want to play and bash her way through the monster manual.
She tended to play the 'charge in and ask questions of any survivors she missed', warrior sort, with the occasional delve into roguely things.

Sweetiebelle despite herself, was as big a nerd as Spike, and her new big sister Luna added to that fire. Spike really needed to get the Princess in on an O&O game one day. She tended to gravitate towards the more detailed and lore heavy books. She also had a bigger collection of dice than even Spike had. Her characters tended to have massive confusing back stories and she gravitated towards rogues and healing types.

Applebloom had the same interest level Spike did , but not with as many different settings and while she could get excited, she could get bored easily too. She opted for spell slingers and druids oddly.

What bothered Spike in this instance was that the roles seemed reversed. Sweetiebelle didn't seem interested in any of the books or even the new dice, and Scootaloo was all over the place and into everything.

It wasn't just this, he had noticed a few oddities with them all day. Changes in favored flavors of ice cream and doughnuts, manner of speech, and now interests that didn't align right. Forgetting things they should know and mentioning things they shouldn't know. he had made a bit of a study on his friends a while ago simply to figure out what sort of game they would like running through so he could keep the balance that would keep all three engaged.

In a normal day he would have chocked it up to the girls just having an off day or being distracted by being in Canterlot with the wedding.

With the possible looming invasion however, Spike was starting to think pod ponies.

The signs were there now that he knew what to look for. It wasn't as if he hadn't designed a number of doppelganger sessions himself to know how to best fool his players. Though now he knew what his players felt like in wondering who to trust in one of those games.

This information needed to be brought to Twilight, She would have some idea what to do, and all he would have to do to see if it was really his sister was bend a books spine a little. And she could easily tell if Rahs was himself.

This was going to be something to laugh at later if he was wrong, but if he was right......

[ Mareiott hotel Canterlot]

[ Canterlot Castle]

Rahs frowned as the pony guard leading him to Twilight turned down another corridor.

He followed along, still feeling sick, though his eyes were narrowed on the back of the Guards head. At first he figured this one was a new recruit, one who was lost and too proud to admit it. Rahs was certain the pony was faking that he knew where he was going. But thus far he had avoided obvious public areas for the back tunnels of the castle.

The fact he had willingly led them into an encounter with Starched Collar and a number of other problematic ponies, made Rahs wonder if he was trying to stall for something.

He also hadn't known Guard Cant and had to have some one translate for him.

Still if they Guard continued to try and waste his time, Rahs was just going to go off on his own, he had explored the castle from near top to bottom as a pup and had a vague idea of where kitchen three was located under the west tower.

He had discovered something about the magic he felt, the spell having lingered enough that he could still taste it, the very thought of that flavor making his stomach roil. He needed to find Twilight and let her know of what he found out.

He knew the scent having been told what it was several times and instructed to avoid it. The spell he felt was strong enough that he could taste it and that was the problem.

His sister had always worried about what would happen if he ate chocolate, and now he knew and would be avoiding it even more.

[ Mareiott hotel Canterlot]
[ Canterlot Castle Kitchen Three]

Applejack frowned as she stirred the mixing bowl. She was the only one left in the kitchen, the others had gone out for lunch, including Twilight and Big Mac. She was going to head out for a bite as soon as Applebloom got back. They were doing pretty well for the moment baring any other changes and they might just manage to get everything done by tomorrow for the wedding.

The only issue Applejack had is she felt rather uneasy about the help she had. Something about the mares and stallions in the kitchen was setting her on edge. She had met them before they started the cooking and they seemed like nice enough folks, but after they had to re do all the food they all started feeling odd to her, like there was something wrong but she couldn't put her hoof on what. She was also starting to feel a little off around Applebloom, but Mac and Twi didn't spur any odd feelings which just made it weirder.

Still she might as well put the bowl in the fridge and get ready to snag some food, pony couldn't work on an empty stomach.

Turning around Applejack nearly bumped into a pony that had been standing there .

“Oh sorry bout that, ah should look where...... what tha heck!?” Applejack stated her eyes going wide.

Applejack grinned at the surprised Applejack before jumping her, the bowl of cake mix shattering against the floor.

[ Mareiott hotel Canterlot]
[ Jenny Jon's sub shop. ]

“Something just feel odd for some reason. “ Twilight sighed.

“Eeyup.” Mac responded eloquently staring at the foot long sandwich in front of him..

“Cadence is mad, Princess Celestia already knows about the date, and got us back for it. I don't remember Cadence ever getting mad and grouchy like this. Usually she just pranked us as hard as we did her.” Twilight rambled poking at her sandwich.

Big Mac shrugged a little, taking a bite of his Hoagie, he really was curious what sort of sauce was on this thing, it was great.

“Rahs is sick too, which is weird enough, Fluttershy isn't in the gardens, Rarity's busy, Pinkie Pie is being far more focused than usual, and Rainbow Dash should have been back by now.” Twilight rambled.” At least Spike heading to the comic shop to stay out from under hoof is normal.”

“Eeeyup.” Maybe some sort of horse radish sauce? Nah it wasn't spicy enough for that, well not for him, maybe for the froo froo Canterlot types it was tongue melting.

“Gah, maybe I'm over thinking this. With the idea of an attack, Luna being gone Celestia being too busy preparing the ceremony, the defense, and the documentation, to talk, there's not really anyone I can talk to but you and AJ and she seems like she's too busy too talk much.”

“Eeyup.” Perhaps it was some sort of mustard, it did have the tang of mustard, but there were far more flavors to it than he expected.

“I dunno maybe I should stop worrying over it and just sit back and try to enjoy the wedding and all the work every ponies putting into it. What do you think?”

Mac froze, his sandwich forgotten as the directed question bounced around his head making his colt friend sense tingle. The good news is he tended to take a while to mull things over in his head before speaking, Twilight was used to it, that gave him time. He quickly rewound the conversation, going over it briefly to find his spot in it and then swallowed the bite he had in his mouth.

“Might be good not tah over think it. Ah'm sure tha princess will calm down after she's married. You ain't got nothing to apologize tah her fer either, she was in tha wrong and ya were asked fer help.” Mac studied the half eaten sandwich.”That said if there's somethin odd going on it's best yah point it out tah tha Princesses. Clearly somethings wrong if it's got yah so worked up. Do you even know who warned about tha attack?”

“No I don't.” Twilight sighed.”Shining might know, but ever since the first day every time I've seen him he looks dead on his hooves. This shield is really taking a lot out of him. “ twilight sighed. “Thanks for listening to me rant anyway Mac.”

“Eyup.” Big Mac smiled as she leaned up and kissed his cheek. Maybe it was some sort of Dijon mustard on the sandwich.

[ Mareiott hotel Canterlot]

[Canterlot Kitchen three]

“Yah done?”

Applejack looked up from where she was cleaning up the mess of the broken bowl and spilled cake batter. The figure before her was Applebloom, only with a faintly sharper tone in her voice, the question was still vague enough that any one over hearing would confuse it for something else. Applejack knew better.

“Yes. She's out of the way.” Applejack sighed.

“Good I'll have a team come and pick her up later, the queen is asking for the infiltrators to meet her in the tunnel if they can get away from their charges. Twilight Sparkle is busy with her colt friend, and while that's a nice meal, we have a job to do.

“What's going on with the meeting?” Applejack asked sounding a little off in her tone.

“Don't ask me, I've got no clue what the Queen wants, also don't forget you're supposed to have a southern drawl not a Manehatten accent. You're not impersonating a fancy pony.” Applebloom sighed.

“Rigot 'sorry.” Applejack offered

“That's an Roo accent...... you know what, never mind, wipe that stupid look off your face and we're good. I know we're short hooved but still you'd think we could get a infiltrator who knew the source. Just come on. The others on the team will come back and clean this up and cover for us.” Applebloom sighed turning to head out the door.

Applejack nodded glancing to the cabinet door she was standing next to, before shoving a black, hole filled hoof into the cabinet, shutting the door tight as she went to follow Applebloom.

Author's Note

Closing in on the end of the season.

Who had bits on Spike being the first to notice?

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 2, Part 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 2, Part 2

Rahs reevaluated his opinion on the guard that was escorting him. He wasn't an idiot, he really was a dick.

This was made clear as they trekked all the way back around the castle and wound up at entrance of the castle where he came in. The Guard then promptly pushed Rahs out the door and closed and locked the door behind him leaving Rahs in the small court yard outside. Rahs could barely pick up the yell from the Guard about his sister no longer being in the castle as the door slammed shut.

The whole goal it seemed had been to waste his time.

A low growl escaped his throat as he wondered if asinine Guards were on his hunting list. He could probably get a pardon from Luna, but he didn't want to abuse that. The thought of revenge made him a bit queezy and he opted to think more on it later when he had the time to track down this, Obvious Plant.

Stupid name for a pony, but there were a lot of names like that.

Right now he needed to find either his sister and let her know of what he felt or one of his brothers to make sure they were alright. A flood of magic that strong meant it was close and cast one one of them.
It might just be Shining getting a doctor to give him something for his headache and exhaustion so he could make it through the wedding, but this had likely been going on for a while now judging from his own sickness. Some one was casting something along the link that tasted like chocolate and he needed to stop it.

Or maybe he'd have some one else stop them until he could stop trying to revisit a lunch he didn't have.

There are things to be said about Spike Sparkle that many don't take note of.

The purple and green drake was rather short, shorter than the fillies with him in truth, despite him being older than they were. His sister theorized that he would have a sudden growth spurt that would be like the chaos driven one on his birthday though milder, but she had no idea when and Bleu hadn't offered a suggestion either when he asked in his letter.

His sister was the most powerful mage of her generation and it had been a number of generations back before any one saw any other pony even close to her level. At Twilight's current level of progression, not only would they need to invent new spells for her to learn, but it was expected the Princesses might let her move their celestial bodies simply for a day off. And by all rights she could probably do it.

His oldest brother had the strongest shield spell at his beck that any one, including the princesses, had ever seen. Shining Armor also completed what was widely regarded by anyone as the most grueling basic Guard Training that had been ever been devised and had graduated it with honors. While working with the Six Sixty Sixth, the tally of creatures driven back or destroyed was the closest contender to Princess Luna's from the pre war of night days. It was no where near her tally, but it was far above any one elses currently living.

His other brother, Rahs Sparkle was a magic neutralizing beast. A creature that had been taught how to fight in three different styles of unarmed combat. He could heal from near any injury so long as there was enough magic in the area for him to eat and he single handedly made the God of Chaos, a deity that had taken the Element's of Harmony wielded by both Princesses to beat, his personal chew toy.

While none of these things was an accomplishment for Spike himself, it was well known that the Sparkles tended to have heated and sometimes rather physical arguments among the siblings. These fights could be viewed as terrifying to any one who knew the siblings and they often resulted in property damage and the occasional emotional scarring.

And Spike was known to WIN some of these brawls.

Spike was after all a dragon, a baby dragon true, but a dragon none the less, and a demi god dragon at that.

This fact and who his mother was were often glossed over in favor of being worried about who his siblings were.

The changelings in fact focused mostly on him being the clever Sparkle, and did their best to keep him distracted, completely forgetting that he was a dragon.

And dragons are by no means weak. Particularly one who spent most of his days carrying large stacks of books and climbing ladders, often both at once. Despite his baby fat, the little drake was freakishly strong for his size and could quite well do a lot of damage if he intended to.

This was something 'Scootaloo' and 'Sweetiebelle' found out the hard way as while headed to the theater to see what was playing he turned on them. They had turned down an ally to cut through to the next road for a short cut and the next thing they knew he had them both pinned to a brick wall, his claws digging into their throats a little as he kept them aloft.

A glare and the tightening of his claws into her white fur kept 'Sweetiebelle' from trying a spell on him, the green magic fading from her horn as fast as it formed.

He had asked a simple question before they came into the ally. Almost off clawed in fact, as if he wasn't expecting an answer. “So what should we try for the next cutie mark crusade?'

Clearly the non answer and the 'Whatever you want.' he got back in turn were not satisfactory.

Spike growled at them, green flame licking among his razor sharp teeth.

“I am going to ask this once, and only once. Where are the real Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo, and so help me if Applebloom is so much as missing her bow......”Spike growled out.” Let's just say you don't have high enough stats to make THAT saving throw.....”

[ Canterlot Mare-iott]

“Mmmm, right there Mac.” Twilight nearly purred feeling the large stallions hooves work into her back. Most of her concerns were melting away as Big Mac showed quite well why he sometimes used to moonlight at the spa for extra bits.

The massage was taking her mind off the crap going on, though it didn't hurt either the large stallion was practically looming over her as she lay sprawled out on the couch practically melting into it. She was also quite away of something else that was starting to poke her hip that was going to be getting a lot of attention from her soon enough.

Of course since the universe hated her , her rooms door burst open revealing Rahs.

“BORK!” Rahs sounded before stopping dead in his tracks, his eyes going wide at the position the pair were in, before he promptly turned green and ducked back out into the hall feeding what was left of his dinner to a fake plant in the corner.

“THIS IS WHY WE KNOCK RAHS!!” Twilight shouted her ears flattening to her head as her 'object of interest' quickly seemed to retreat as Big Mac moved off of her.

“WOOF!” Rahs howled back.

“Oh get over it, you'd think you would have learned by now after walking in on Shining and Cadence... TWICE!” Twilight growled.” At least all I was doing was getting my back rubbed....”

“Eeyup..” Mac added sitting off to the side with a large pillow placed over his lap. The large stallion was doing his best not to pout.

“This had better be important!” Twilight growled as Rahs came back into the room growling as well.

“Bark, Yip, grrr.” Rahs stated in annoyance.

“A spell, what spell? And what do you mean it tastes like chocolate?” Twilight blinked.

“Ruff....” Rahs explained.

“What?” Mac asked.

“He says something cast a spell on one of us that tasted like chocolate and he thinks that's whats making him sick.” Twilight pondered.”You felt it through the link?”

Rahs nodded sitting down in one of the chairs with a loud sigh.

“Well I've not had anything cast on me, it might be Shining at a doctor, but when I saw him earlier he didn't say he was going to one..... Where's Spike?”

As she asked the little drake could be seen tearing down the hall past Twilight's room towards the one he shared with Rahs. A moment later he ran back, collapsing onto the ground out of breath, a large book in his claw.

The three of them stared at the little drake until he caught his breath.

“Pod ponies... Scootaloo, Sweetiebelle...... foal napped..... replaced....... ah my sides..... “ Spike gasped out

“What?” Twilight blinked as Rahs moved to get the small dragon some water from the rooms kitchenette.

“Scootallo and Sweetiebelle have been foal napped and replaced by pod ponies!” Spike tried again after another moment or two gasp for air.

“Okay, I say again, what?” Twilight commented.” Is this one of your comic books?”

“No it's not! The threat of attack on Canterlot is already here, ponies are being replaced. I hang out with the crusaders all the time and neither of them were acting like they usually do. Heck Applebloom refused to go with us even when Applejack gave her permission to. Normally I have to use a crowbar to get her away from me, particularly after my birthday and the other two were just acting weird.” Spike explained.

“Might jus be nervous?” Big Mac offered.

“I considered that too, but I asked them about crusading for a cutiemark related to the wedding or the party, A CUTIEMARK, and neither of them cared.”

“Woof.” Rahs pointed out.

“Yeah okay, that's weird.” Twilight agreed.” Not exactly cementing me on your pod pony theory though.”

“Well, I confronted them and one of them turned into a bug pony thing, all black chitin and stuff like an beetle but in pony shape. At first I thought it burst into flames like a spy movie but it was trying to scare me into dropping it. But, well, fire,.... like that's something for me to be afraid of. But it told me they had the girls.... Then they both tried to escape....”

“What did you do?” Twilight blinked.

“Shoved them in a trash can, flame welded the top on it, threw that in a dumpster and melted the top closed on that too, before running back here.”Spike muttered. “I couldn't take the risk of any one else maybe being a pod pony and knowing I knew.”

“Why here?” Big Mac added.

“Cause It's easy to tell if Twilight's been replaced. Observe. “ Spike stated holding up the book in two claws and started to bend the spine of it.

“AHHH!” Twilight shouted launching herself forward and knocking Spike out of the way, as she snatched the book from his grasp. She quickly cuddled it to her chest.” Oh you poor thing, did the mean little dragon hurt you? I'll protect you...”

“Oh yeah, that's Twilight.”

“Eeeyup.” Big Mac agreed.

“Ow.” Spike muttered.

[ Under Canterot. 9 hours before the wedding.]

Cadence looked at the ponies and changelings around her with a sigh. The duplicate mane five were here as well as a number of Guards and castle servants that had been grabbed. She didn't want to pull them away at a time like this though her hoof had been forced.

All of them were milling around nervously before 'Cadence', though they all stopped as she started to speak.

“ Alright the wedding is tomorrow morning and thus far we've managed to keep everything on track. The main guest is still none the wiser and neither are the Guards or the Princesses. The rumors of the invasion some one leaked have actually helped us in this, so I'm only going to half kill who ever blundered there.” Cadence snarled. “The problem right now is the infiltration force is down a large chunk of their number after capturing the Bearers as a precaution. Thankfully the element's themselves are out of the picture as most are still in Ponyville, of the ones here only Magic is at large as are the Sparkles so be on Guard.”

There was a general murmuring from the gathered crowd at that, though it cut off as 'Cadence' spoke again.

“We're in the last stretch and I want no surprises, you all know this one was a gamble, but the reward... and revenge was too great to pass up.” Cadence added. “That said I've got to call you back to keep watch on the Bearers for tonight to make sure nothing happens. There's only nine hours left until this is over. I don't want any issues now. The team watching the Sparkles will be excused from this duty.”

“My Queen, Body Double and Firefly have not reported back yet.” one of the changelings stated.

“It should be fine, hopefully they went to a late movie with Spike Sparkle, the last report said they were going to try for that to make sure he stayed tired tomorrow. Rahs Sparkle is still sick and was lead around most of the day to tire him out as well. And hopefully Twilight and her colt friend will get up to something that will wear them out, we've been adding some love honey to their food most of the day, that should keep them busy tonight.”

There was a bit of laughter with that though it died quickly.

“Alright Junebug, you're watching Rarity, make sure the cocoon isn't drying out, if possible assure her every so often that the cocoon will not change the color of her mane and coat and will dissolve away cleanly with some salt water. Tell her to take a beach trip or something.” Cadence ordered and a changeling nodded in response.

“Domino you'll be watching the fillies, be cautious but also be careful and don't let them loose no matter how cute they try to be. If one of them gets hurt some how the plan going awry would be the least of our problems.” Cadence stated.

The changeling disguised as Rarity nodded.

“Pokerface, you'll be watching Applejack when we get her back up here I doubt there will be any issue since you already took her down yourself..... Pokerface..... Hey Up here!” Cadence clicked her tongue.

Applejack had been looking over the Changeling disguised as Rarity trying to see if she could tell the difference when one of the changelings next to her elbowed her and pointed to the front.

“Wha? Oh, uhhh, sorry my queen....” Applejack stammered.

“You know what never mind. Butterfly you watch Applejack, Pokerface, you're on pink duty. The guard there will tell you what you need to do.”

“OOOOOOOH.......” was the chorused groan from all the other changelings in the group, most of them looking at Applejack with pity or amusement.

“ Darter you watch Fluttershy, and Guile and Wasp will keep an eye on Rainbow Dash, the rest of you are keeping an eye on the rest of the prisoners, they've already been fed so don't worry about that. Nine hours left my subjects, lets get this done.”

There was a break of sorts and the group scattered. After a moment of confusion one of the changelings pointed Applejack down a tunnel that had been filled in to be a rather tight passage as if to prevent something from rolling out. The mouth of the tunnel was also covered in warnings scratched into the slime and rock as well as a tally count of injured.

Applejack swallowed shifting her cooking apron a bit as she moved down the tight tunnel into a fair sized chamber. Two changleings were leaning back against the wall staring at a massive green ball that was glued to the walls and had a very angry looking pink face poking out of it.

“Oh thank the stars you're here, this mares gonna kill us. Look what ever you do don't let the cocoon dry out, add to it as much as you want, but DO NOT, let it dry out . She's been cracking it if it dries out to much, we lost a whole nother team when she got her arm out.” The one changeling shuddered.

“We've been trying to get them to bring the yellow one in here to show that she's alright but the Queen won't allow it. I hate to say it like this Poker, but she's your problem for the next eight hours. We've tapped a pipe over there for water to keep it moist and there's a bucket by the faucet. We are outta here good luck.”

Both changelings very quickly ran out of the room.

Applejack frowned looking back at the tunnel, her ears perked as she looked up at the glowering eyes of Pinkie Pie, her eyes and nose all that was exposed in the mass of green slime.

Applejack looked around once more before trotting over to fill up a bucket of water, setting it before the bound mare. She then smiled reaching into a pocket on her apron to pull out a salt shaker.

“Dun worry Pinkie. This'll get that stuff right out of your mane an coat.” Applejack smirked.

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Part 2, Part 3

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Part 2, Part 3

[ Canterlot caverns. 4 AM, 5 hours before the wedding.]

“What tha heck is this stuff?” Applejack muttered splashing another bucket of salt water over Pinkie Pie. The pink mare wiggled and squirmed in her binding, but the green goo was dissolving rather slowly. Pinkie Pie had managed to only get one hoof loose and her mouth free in order to demand a number of questions of 'Applejack' A lot of which Applejack didn't think made sense or she didn't know the answer too, but that seemed to appease Pinkie Pie.

Applejack was rapidly running out of salt for the water and the whole chamber floor sloshed with muck and salty water.

Of course after a few more buckets Applejack was surprised to see Pinkie Pie suddenly fall asleep. She knew the mare could sleep any where but this was odd. Particularly when she was dousing her with rather cold water.

“So my Queen was correct that you were not what you seemed. “ a deep gravely voice stated from behind Applejack.

Whirling about the orange farm pony saw Applebloom standing there with a sneer on her face.

“Makes sense now that she would mention a way to get free so off hoofed like that. I thought she suspected Domino when she said that. You think simple salt water is going to fully dissolve our wax?” You're dumber than you look.”

“Well ah fooled you intah leading me down here.” Applejack snapped back.

“Indeed, and I am quite aggravated by that. But thank you for calming your friend down enough by your presence that my spell would work on her, anger makes that sleep spell hard to take hold.” 'Applebloom growled.” My queen wants you lot unhurt, but given none of you seem to share that sentiment, I don't see why I should either. And if the queen gets mad, well, easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”

“Thinking tah take me on? Ah already beat tha tar outta oneayah an I'm plenty mad so yer little spell ain't doing crap.” Applejack growled back as her fake sister approached.

There was a flash of green and Applejack found herself rolling across the cavern floor before she even realized she had been hit, the Changeling having teleported to her side and hit her with the force of Big Mac.

“Please, Pokerface is an infiltrator, I'm a warrior, I've eaten bigger threats than you for lunch. A farm yard brawler has nothing on a trained warrior.” The fake Applebloom growled.” Plus I know your weakness.”

“Lotta talk fer such a cheap shot. “ Applejack rushed forward rearing up to stomp down on the smaller figure of the doppelganger, only for the changeling to grin and look up at her with puppy dog eyes and a pout.

“What's wrong applejack?” Applebloom asked in a perfect Applebloom voice.

The act made Applejack hesitate for a moment as she reared up only for the changeling to take advantage of that and slam a hoof into her exposed belly, sending the farmer flying back to crash into a wall again.

“Love of your family... quite the tasty meal , but so easy to take advantage of.” The gravely baritone that was used switched back to Applebloom's voice.” I mean surely yah can't hurt yer cute lil sister can you?”

“Don't yah dare use her voice..... and stop using her face yah monster.” Applejack growled picking herself up again.

“Or you'll what, ask again? But nicer?” the changeling snarled.”Please, if you idiots had just stayed away like you were supposed to none of this would have happened. And now it's not like you can do anything, we have all your friends, the Sparkles are none the wiser, you've lost and you're going to wind up just like your pink friend because you can't bring yourself to hit your own little sister.”

“But ah can!”

“What?!” The changeling asked as a yellow hoof smashed into the side of their face sending the changeling toppling to the floor with a crash in the muck at the base of Pinkie Pie's ball, before a red maned earth pony filly lept on top of her doppelganger swinging wildly.

“Applebloom what” Applejack questioned.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CAVALRY, YAY!!!!” a pair of voices screamed from the other side of the narrow tunnel before the wall itself exploded in a shower of bug wax and rock. As the dust settled a White unicorn filly and an orange pegasus filly their fur still stuck with green globs of goo rush through and help the bow less Applebloom start beating the fool out of the one with the bow.

“What?” Applejack asked again.

“Girls don't get too far ahead , it's not safe down here...... oh my.” A mature light gray furred unicorn mare chided as she walked in after them, her horn was still smoking from blowing out the tunnel and a bit of her white and purple striped mane was singed. She too was covered in green goo though her three purple star cutie mark was clearly visible. “Well now. Dear I think we found one of Twilight's friends.”

Applejack glanced back to the tunnel, a blue furred and navy blue maned unicorn stallion trotted in after her. His cutie mark was of a crescent moon inside a crescent moon. What was off about him however was that there were at least twenty antique griffon crossbows floating in the air around him with a crate of what looked like bolts for them on his back.

“Why so we did. And that looks like Pinkie Pie I think..... but who's this one?” The stallion pointed out, half the floating crossbows suddenly pointed at Applejack.

“That's mai sister!” Applebloom stated yanking her bow off the battered changelings head with a couple more punches to the pinned bug.

“Um not tah sound ungrateful, but who are you and what's going on?” Applejack asked noting that not all the crossbows had stopped aiming at her.

“Oh right manners. My names Twilight Velvet, and this is my husband Nightlight. We're Twilight, Rahs, Spike, and Shining Armor's parents.” Twilight Velvet explained.

“Right well we were stuck down here and these little fillies found us, and on the way out I found this amazing collection of old armors and weapons, a cache left from the Griffon Equestria war it seemed , and the weapons were rather serviceable....” Night light offered before deeply sighing. “A perfectly preserved archaeological goldmine and I have to use it for roach hunting. Tis a sad day for archaeology.”

“The Girls? How tha heck did they get free?” Applejack asked.

“Please.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes looking back at the adults. “ With as much tree sap as we get stuck in do you think a little bug goop is gonna slow us up? Tree sap is way worse than this stuff.”

“ENOUGH!” The changeling bloom snarled flinging the fillies off of it with barely a shrug. Twilight Velvet quickly grabbed them out of the air before they fell.

The thunder of hooves was heard rushing down the new tunnel as a squad of changelings in Royal Guard Armor rushed into the room weapons drawn and pointed at the small group of ponies.

“Bout time you idiots got here!” the Applebloom changeling snarled shifting back to a massive and heavily armored and spiked black bug pony.

“General Rhino we got here as fast as we could...” One of the Guards tried to placate.

“Stuff it capture this lot again. The queen said keep them alive, but grievous injuries are more than allowed at this point if they resist.”

The guard was about to respond when a loud thud filled the chamber.

General Rhino suddenly got a great deal shorter as he was hit once and driven up to his neck in the muddy ground below him, the massive changeling knocked out cold from one hit. The sound of the impact was soon followed by cracking and splintering as a pink form ripped itself from the green ball of partially melted goo.

“I.
AM.
FREE!”

Pinkie Pie bellowed.

The changeling Guards upon seeing this, all wet them selves at once, and took off like bats out of hell with a pink demon right after them.

The remaining ponies glanced at the General then the ball , then the mess on the floor wrinkling their noses at the smell.

“Ah think..... we better find the others, particularly Fluttershy, an fast.” Applejack offered getting nothing but nods in return.

[Canterlot Throne room]

“Woof.” Rahs asked quietly.

“She said she would look into it but unless I had proof there wasn't much she could do at the moment. There are too many bits already sunk into this to stop it fully, not to mention the possible political fallout. Evidently she stomped on a lot of hooves making sure this wedding happened and the nobles are pissy. That said she's not dumb enough to just dismiss my suspicions. She has positioned a larger collection of Guards around the ceremony just in case.” Twilight sighed.”Would have had proof if the ones Spike caught hadn't gotten away.”

“I didn't know they could cut through metal, isn't the hole and the slime proof enough.”Spike asked with a low grumble as the four of them looked at the wedding ceremony going on before them with Princess Celestia presiding.

“She got real worried looking when we told her tha description of them bug pony things.” Big Mac added.

“Bark.” Rahs pointed out.

“Right, the princess is taking us seriously, she's got her war hammer out and tucked behind the podium. I've never seen that thing any where but on her wall.” Spike nodded.

“I can't believe that stupid hammer has a bachelors degree.”Twilight growled.

“Doesn't MC only have a degree in Leisure studies?” Spike questioned.

“I guess....” Twilight fumed.

“”What's the M.C. for?” Big Mac asked curious.

“ Masher of Chaos Hammer.” Twilight explained. “That's the full name. It's evident;y an artifact from the Discordian war.”

“Yip.” Rahs frowned.

“Yeah Shining doesn't look good at all, he's barely staying upright.”Spike frowned.” We need to stop this quick. Did you figure out a spell?”

“Sorta. If these things can assume another shape then they are probably can easily shrug off the usual dispel illusion spells that exist. I tried combining spells, but I didn't have enough time so I'm going for an alternative that might work, and it might just make things awkward. If they use magic disguises instinctively casting a simple mane color changing spell on them should have them shrug it off and show no effect at all.”

“Will that work on an alicorn?” Spike asked.

“I tested it on Princess Celestia with her being aware and actively trying to cancel it. After a few teaks to the spell I got her to have my coloration for a full ten seconds. It stuck on Big Mac until I could dispel it, though that was a nice color on him.”

“Eenope....” Big Mac comments noting the glare twilight gave him.” Looks better on you then me.”

“Aww..” Twilight smiled her brothers both making gagging motions behind her.

“Any way at the very least if she shrugs this off or changes it before at least ten seconds is over we know she's a fake. Cadence is in no way as magically skilled as Princess Celestia. I wish I could dig through the royal archive to see if we have a reference for these creatures, but we're out of time.”Twilight sighed. “I know I've heard of them before somewhere too.”

“Now that you mention it , they did look familiar.” Spike added as Rahs nodded sagely.” Maybe some old Nightmare Night story?”

“Possibly, we'll look into it later. We should have done this before the wedding to see if it would work. But noooooooooo, it has to be at the perfect dramatic moment or I'd never live it down from my idiot brother.”Twilight growled.

Twilight glared at Rahs whose tail was wagging hard in the seat.

“ I think the speak now part is coming up. If the spell doesn't work, I'll turn it into some sort of joke.” Spike smirked, “Like how he still owes me bits. Ponies that know me will think it's funny and those who don't will think I'm just being a kid.”

“ And if it does work....” Big Mac muttered.

“We hope Princess Celestia leaves something left for us for that thing screwing with my big brother.” Twilight growled.

[Under Canterlot ]

“I swear that if my coat is stained by this I shall be doing something not nice to that mare, or bug or whatever she is.” Rarity fumed as she trotted along with the rest of the group.

“Tell you what Rarity if we get a hold of her. I'll hold her while you punch her, then you hold her while I lay into her.” Rainbow Dash growled stomping along as well. “I can't get this goop out of my wings without yanking out feathers.”

“Rarity, Dash if y'all don't quit whining ah'm gonna put yah back in tha slime we pulled yah out of” Applejack snapped as she stomped along, bruised but unmucked. “ We need to get outta here.”

It had taken them hours to find all the others and as such they now had a large collection of servants and Guards following them as they walked. There were also a collection of nobles, but Prince Blueblood was keeping them under wraps, the rest were following the lead of the Element Bearers.

Pinkie Pie had found Fluttershy and was currently stretched over the yellow mares back half asleep as she had burned though most of her energy in her rampages.

The Sparkles were keeping an eye or four on the fillies, keeping the CMC busy with tales of what their kids were like when they were younger. They were currently on the story about Nightmare Night where Twilight unmasked 'Nightmare Moon'.

Still Applejack was looking for some one in particular.

The 'Queen' had mentioned a 'main guest', and it didn't take a Twilight to figure out that meant Princess Cadence.

So far they hadn't found any sign of her cocooned up some where, nor was she trapped in a crystal maze or anything like that.

Applejack was about to give up on finding her,and focus on getting out when they came across a mosaic tiled hallway that lead into a large hotel like lobby studded with crystals and very richly decorated. Looking around the place looked like a massive resort spa, complete with an activities guide.

Every one was visibly confused, though Rarity was delighted and made a bee line for a room labeled cleansing bath.

The others poked around a bit more though all of them found the place empty, despite being set up with the most modern spa equipment and furnishings.

Pushing open a door midway down a massive hall however made Applejack stop dead in her tracks and caused most of the others to gather around to see what the farm mare was staring at.

Inside was a fairly ornate masseuse chamber, a large table sat in the middle of the room with a pink alicorn stretched out on top of it her wings drooping as a pair of changelings worked her muscles along her back with skilled precision, though both stopped their work and stared at the door and the collection of faces staring back.

“Hey why'd you guys stop? I thought I had an hour of this, it's barely been twenty minutes?” Cadence murred before the cascade of angry foal napped ponies surged into the room at her.

A Claw-terlot wedding Part 2, Part 4

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot wedding
Part 2, Part 4

[Canterlot Throne Room, Morning of the Royal Wedding, Friday]

“OBJECTION!!”Spike bellowed being lifted into the air by Rahs who was grinning like a fool at the perfectly timed drama.

Big Mac was trying to crouch down behind the seats as everyone in the, very large, room turned to stare at the four seated on the bench.

Twilight was ignoring them as she cast her spell. The glow of her horn attracting the notice of a number of ponies who hadn't been distracted by Spike's bellow, or the brothers antics.

Oddly neither Shining Armor nor Princess Celestia were paying attention to the group.

The energy around Twilight's horn faded without seeming to have done anything, though her eyes locked on the pink alicorn with a frown.

“You're not Cadence.” she stated flatly. Her voice cutting through the mummer of the crowd.

The pink alicorn glared back at her.

“I 'really' did not want you at this wedding.” Cadence snapped.

“Tough.” Twilight snarled, “What have you done with the real Cadence and what did you do to my brother?”

“I see, so we're going this route. Excessive confidence that you're right, proud you solved what you see as a puzzle. No consideration for the idea you might be wrong and I am Cadence in a bad mood due to stress.” Cadence sneered. “You really are cake flank's student.”

The mares glance shifted from Twilight to the looming white alicorn who had hefted her weapon in here magic. The golden war hammer's head as big as an average ponies head and the shaft of it as long as the Princess was tall, it was almost a pole arm in fact.

“Seems we are going with plan B....” Cadence growled out shifting a little to keep an eye on the Princess and the Sparkles.

“That's not an.....” Twilight yelled back, her cry trailing off as the room lit up with flashes of green flame that seemed to consume over half the guests leaving behind a collection of black carapaced pony like creatures with mostly blue compound like eyes, eyes that were still all staring at her. The few remaining pony guests screamed out, rapidly trying to get away.

“ The 'B' is for this is all Bucked up, which is what plan A has become.” Cadence sighed as the screams got louder when the collection of bug ponies set to work capturing and taking out the guests that remained well all the pony guards, all of the Heart Guard and a number of Royal Guard were bug ponies

“Changelings.” Celestia swore lashing out with her war hammer at Cadence.

The pink mare whirled about with the sound of tearing fabric, the strike blocked by a pair of green etched scimitar blades gripped in glowing green magic. The etchings made little sense to any one other than Celestia, who narrowed her eyes.

“Chrysalis.” Celestia growled.

“ Hello again cake flank, you miss me? I sure as crap missed you.... with every assassination attempt so far.” Cadence growled. “Hey Sparkle give my regards to your seamstress friend, this dress is perfect and roomy enough for my swords, a couple cannons and a small naval destroyer. It was like she was designing the dress for Celestia's measurements. Interesting to note, Celestia, means 'WIDE LOAD' in the Changeling language!”

“Changelings don't have their own language, you're not even a proper creature, you're nothing but foul muck that bled from a crack in the world from the dark between spaces.”Celestia snarled shoving her weapon forward and forcing Cadence to rear up on her back hooves to avoid a strike from the long staff of the hammer.

“Oh that's big talk from a species who wiggled out of the muck at the bottom of the ocean before deciding that it was to wet for them and flopping up on land.” Chrysalis growled back. “Buck before you started tinkering with them they all looked like long legged sway back pigs with spots.”

Celestia took a step back dodging a swipe from one of the blades and countering the other with her war hammer before bringing the golden weapon down in an arc to squash the pink alicorn. Chrysalis dodged the attack which struck the marble floor and blew a hole in it easily a pony length deep into the rock under the palace chamber.

“My, My, aren't you testy today, almost as if some ones been keeping you up all night with insane demands and false alarms so you couldn't sleep. I wonder who that could have been? “A green fire erupted around the sneering Cadence, revealing a black carapaced figure with a greenish blue mane and a gnarled looking horn. Fangs sprouted from the creatures mouth and various parts of her body seemed to be filled with holes as if chunks of her were missing. She was still wearing the wedding dress however, and she was also as tall as Princess Celestia.

Rahs, Spike, and Big Mac had seen enough and launched into action. The trio lashed out at the closest Changelings,keeping both the bug ponies and the real ponies, who were still suspect, from getting any where near Twilight so she could focus.

Twilight's horn was glowing brightly and with the fake Cadence away from her brother and Celestia she saw a chance and took it. An arcane beam lanced from her horn at the impostor. The Changeling Queen however saw it coming and brought both her blades around to take the hit of the blast, the runes etched in the metal glowed briefly before the energy reflected off of them towards Celestia.

The solar mare side stepped and the blast shot past her, vaporizing the podium and blowing out all the stained glass windows and most of the wall and ceiling at the back of the chamber, opening the view to one that over looked Canterlot and the glowing shield around it.

“Stars dammit mare I wasn't even going to do anything to you.” Chrysalis hiss glaring back at Twilight.

Just visible in the distance were countless black dots around the barrier shield Shining Armor set up, all of them hammering and striking at the shield.

Shining Armor himself didn't seem to even notice the goings on around him as he wobbled shakily on his hooves.

Celestia rushed back at Chrysalis smashing aside a couple of Changelings that got in her way. Chrysalis in turn rushed back at her doing the same with a number of pony Guards, the armored earth ponies flying through the air as if they were made of paper before hitting the walls with as sickening crunch. Despite the blows Twilight noticed she used the blade flats, she probably would have cut the armored ponies in half had she not with that level of power.

The pair met in the middle of the room , their weapons impacting as they snarked at each other horns clashing in a shower of arcane magic.

“I see you have a new toy cake flank. Opted to trade out of the clay-more?” Chrysalis snarled.” Bet you named this one too.”

“Of course I did cheese legs. And I'm going to use MC to make sure you're destroyed.” Celestia snarled.

“Only a ponce names their weapon. “Chrysalis snapped back. ”And I'll take a quick destruction over generations starving to death while trapped in a bucking volcano any day. Of course it's not like you're going to be able to do either of those things.”

The pair broke away from each other their horns glowing brighter as the weapons they had flashed through the air in a blur of steel and iron, the hammer and blades clashing as they whirled about looking for an opening. The clash of weapons seemed more an after thought to the pair as they suddenly both tried to blast each other, the magic meeting in mid air with a horrendous crash of sparks and flame. The marble floor under the connected beams of energy starting to bubble and boil as the arcane energies met and rippled the very air around them while blades and a hammer continued to seek blood.

Twilight herself was kept far too busy to help Princess Celestia. She was forced to quickly raise a shield over the front of the chamber. Her shields were no where near as good as her brothers, but she could keep the energies from striking any of the guests or her brother who had yet to move.

Rahs, Spike, and Big Mac seemed to be enjoying themselves and any changeling that even looked their way found themselves, set on fire courtesy of Spike, smashed for a grand slam by a pew wielding Big Mac, or learning to fly for a brief moment before they hit something ala Rahs. Usually they hit the ground or the bench Mac was swinging but occasionally they impacted a wall or another Changeling.

The sound of a pair of deafening booms filled the chamber, stilling the battle for a heartbeat as Princess Celestia was flung back against a side wall. The impact causing several tons of brick and mortar to collapse as the wall gave way crashing down on Celestia along with part of the roof.

Standing triumphantly in the middle of the room was Chrysalis, a pair of still smoking party cannons resting on either side of her.

“I told you the dress was roomy.” The Changeling Queen cackled. She glanced at Twilight's shield lashing out at it with one blade as the other was placed at Celestia's throat as the white alicorn pushed her head out of the wreckage.

Twilight screamed as her shield was sliced through, the backlash making her drop the spell and stagger to knees.

Rahs looked to his sister then glared at Chrysalis, barreling towards the Changeling Queen with a roar flinging anything in his way out of it as he pounced fangs bared and claws out for the bug ponies throat.

Chrysalis reflexively brought her free scimitar around only for Rahs to grab it in the air and bite down on the aura around the weapon bringing a pained cry from Chrysalis. The blade fell to the ground with a clatter as her magic faltered.

Rahs however didn't manage a counter attack as the moment he landed he immediately doubled over and managed to fall over one of the benches near Shining, letting loose with a massive barfing sound as he was shown a number of things he certainly did not recall eating.

“Oh good, it is my magic making you sick.” Chrysalis winced as she reached a hoof up to rub her head.” That was an unexpected benefit to be sure. If I had known that was the cause I wouldn't have been so careful working the spells into your brother so they wouldn't trace easily down the link you share. I'd have done this instead.”

Her gnarled horn glowed and a beam lashed out striking Shining Armor. The stallion's whole body tensing up before he sat down hard, the glow around his horn that had been keeping the big shield up fading to barely a flicker of itself around his horn.

Rahs promptly threw up again.

Outside, visible through the new hole in the wall the shield dome ruptured, and black forms rushed into Canterlot like locusts.

“This day is going to be perfect.” Chrysalis cackled.

Author's Note

Muuuwa ha ha ha.

Quick recap.

Rahs' symptoms are the same symptoms shown in dogs who eat chocolate, which is what Chryssy's magic tastes like.

She haz a bad flavor.

A Claw-terlot Wedding Part 2, part 5

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding
Part 2, part 5

[Canterlot]

The entire city was in chaos.

Discord was quite amused.

Changeling's swarmed over the city in the thousands, breaking into homes stealing carts, breaking windows, tipping cows, spray painting rude things on walls, fighting guards, knocking over trashcans, jaywalking, and basically sowing as much chaos and fear as they could.

It was the worst riot Canterlot had seen since the Manehatten Broncos beat the Canterlot Royals in game three of the Hoof Ball world cup three years ago due to a bad call from a ref.

Despite the chaos and the mayhem that was being caused, no one was being hurt. Sure some ponies were being terrified, there was going to be a lot of property damage and a good bit of extra work for Princess Luna and the Moon Dogs for a while, but it was a Friday in Canterlot. And on Fridays just about every pony expected something.

The door chimed drawing the unicorns attention to the front of his store.

“Welcome to Pony Joes...........oh....” Joe offered, trailing off as he saw the trio of black carapaced bug ponies that strode into his shop.

“Hey Joe, lemi get a pair of blueberry doughnuts and a cup of coffee, heavy on the cream.” One of them said taking a seat at the counter with the other two following suit.

“Errr.” Joe responded.

“What? I have the bits if that's what you're worried about.” The lead Changeling offered.

“I'll take a chocolate and strawberry curler.” the second said.

“Just a black coffee, we're on a break.” The third added.

“Right, coming up.” Joe shrugged, going to prep the orders more on instinct than anything else at this point. He delivered the food and coffee's taking the bits and ringing it all up.

“So..... what's all this then?” Joe asked waving a hoof at generally everything as he hoofed over the receipt.

“Oh .. invasion. Nothing to worry about, should be done in a hour or two. Most of us just want to see the sights while we can is all.” the second changeling added nomming on the curler.

“Yeah what he said. Still a lot to see and do, but we've heard good things about this place. Had to stop in while we had the chance.” The third offered. “Hmm, rather good coffee.

“Bah, that's just flavored bean water, you have to add something to it or it's far too bitter.” the second chided.”

“So, can I get you anything else?” Joe asked.

“Nah, we'll be out of your mane in a minute. These are really good.” the second commented eating one of his doughnuts.

“Actually, I think I will take one of those plain cake doughnuts.” the third asked.

[ A small town house on the east side of Canterlot.]

The changeling Squad burst through the door of the home at the edge of Canterlot. The goal was to sweep and clear all the surrounding homes, capturing any pony they could and securing the perimeter.

One such squad broke down a door to find a living room done up like a foals vision of a Princesses' bedroom and a small table in the middle with two adults, a filly, and a foal having a tea party.

The unicorn foal was simply sitting in a rocker, babbling excitedly at the sudden increase in noise.

The unicorn stallion and pegasus mare glanced back as the door burst open, though they didn't move from their spots, likely due to the super ornate pink and blue ball gowns the pair had on.

The stallion earlier had complained it was too pinchy.

The pegasus filly dressed as Princess Luna however seemed very annoyed at the interruption.

"Tea party crashers?!" The filly exclaimed in some sort of mock royal accent. "Off with their heads!!"

"Cloud Dancer, the Princesses don't say things like that." The pegasus mare chided with a roll of her eyes.

"I'm still inclined to agree with her." The unicorn stallion said as he gently set down his tea cup and rose to his hooves."And here I thought Dawn and I wouldn't be entertained with this sort of play date."

"Jer'rahd, this is my house, don't get too crazy." The mare accused.

"Says the mare with her wing blades already drawn." Jer'rahd grinned as Starfall rose as well ignoring the comment.

Like in the other invaded houses there was a lot of screaming, though this time it wasn't from the homeowners.

[ Canterlot, central market square.]

“Huh, place looks a lot different from the ground.” the blonde gray furred mare commented looking around the food court, though it was hard to tell exactly what the walleyed mare was looking at with any certainty.

“So, you've never been through here except on a delivery Ditzy?” the Thestral Nox-Cal, Comet Trail asked as he walked along next to her, one bat like wing pressed against her feathered one.

“No, not really. Most of the places were just too expensive and I always had a lot of work to do.”Ditzy smiled.

“Well, as a poor guard stationed here for a while I know a couple of places that have good food at a decent price.” Comet smirked.

“Look Momma, they've got funnel cakes!” A little lavender unicorn with blonde mane and tail shouted bouncing about happily on the back of a massive mastiff hound that dwarfed the ponies around it. Even Princess Celestia would have to look up to meet the eyes of Mr. Tiny Sniffles. Given the tan and white fuzzy canine had started out small enough to fit in a hoof, the name some what made sense as he had been the runt of the litter and started out rather sickly.

That was years ago, now ponies gave him a wide berth, though tended to disregard all of them focusing soly on keeping the tiny unicorn balanced on his back as she pranced about.” Can we get one?”

It had taken Comet Trail a while of dating Ditzy before the large dog allowed him any where near the house or Dinky and he was still leery.

The small unicorn however thought the 'bat pony' guard was neat.

Comet Trail thought the little filly was beyond adorable and spoiled her almost as much as he spoiled her mother.

He had met Ditzy purely on accident not long after he first took over the Guard post in Ponyville. She had literally run into him. It wasn't long after that she was added to his list of possible dates, and every time he whittled down the number, Ditzy remained until she was the only one left.

The somewhat klutzy pegasus was far too sweet to be real, and after meeting her daughter he was likely to collapse in diabetic shock some time in his future.

With the Royal Wedding nonsense he had been called in to Canterlot to work the night shift as most of the Decaff brigade left with Princess Luna to check Tartarus.

Dinky had wanted to see the royal couple, and while he couldn't get them into the wedding itself, he knew the best spots to see the procession as it left the castle. And since it was day time, he could spend it out of uniform with his favorite girls and their massive, misnamed dog.

“Not now Muffin, we need to eat real food first.” Ditzy stated in a motherly tone that booked no argument. ”So where are we going to eat Comet?..... Comet?”

Ditzy blinked looking over at the Nox-cal, who had stopped and was staring at the sky his ears perked up. A rumbling growl that shook her teeth drew her attention to Mr. Tiny Sniffles as the massive dog had bared his teeth, also staring up at the shield dome.

Dinky and Ditzy both knew what that sound meant and Dinky had hunkered down on the dogs back clutching his fur and nearly vanishing into it.

Looking up, Ditzy could see the glowing shield that had been over them was cracking and as she watched it shatter and countless black figures swarmed over Canterlot.

“What's going on?” Ditzy gasped as some of the black figures landed nearby, some harder than others. The creatures started to smash stalls and send ponies running, a few of the slower ponies getting plastered with green waxy goop and stuck to what ever surface was nearby.

A thud drew her attention to Comet Trail as he uncoiled a chain he had on his waist, a heavy metal ball on one end of it.

“Ditzy take Dinky and get under cover.” Comet Trail snorted curling the chain around one hoof before starting to spin the weight, the meteor hammer starting to hum as it spun.

Ditzy's response was to hurl a trashcan from the sidewalk at one of the black carapaced bug ponies that had started to approach, sending it crashing down the street with a Wilhelm scream.

“Or beat the fool out of them, that works too.” Comet Trail blinked.

“Don't be so surprised, I'm a single mother who runs mail all over the place by myself.” Ditzy grinned slapping her fore hooves together. ”I can protect myself.”

“So much for me playing the noble knight. I do also hope you drop that single part….” Comet Trail smirked his spinning chain starting to scream as it got up to speed causing him to rear back on his rear hooves wings flared.

Mr. Tiny Sniffles let out a loud bark that drew the attention of every thing on the street and cracked a shop window nearby.

The Changelings in the square had a bad time of it for interrupting a family outing.

[Derby Road]

Copper and Flathoof stared out the window of their guard shack on the corner of Derby road and Nokota drive watching the goings on in the city.

Flathoof was three days from retirement and Copper's wife just had a foal, so neither were feeling particularly heroic at the moment as neither wanted to become a trope.

Hence, when the changelings burst through the dome, the partners simple watched through spyglasses through the window of the guard booth, drinking coffee and not even attempting to step outside.

It helped that their post was on a rise in the big money end of town and they could see down the whole street to watch what was happening over the massive yards of the manors lining the streets.

“Huh, reminds me of that hoof ball riot a few years ago, but with less body paint and fire.” Flathoof pointed out.

“Less calling for a ref to be hung too.”Copper added.

“Yep.” Flathoof agreed sipping his coffee.

“Good thing no ponies really home today, they all went to that royal wedding.”Copper added.

“Kinda nice of them to just ignore us.” Flathoof commented.

“Well they do know we're here, that one did wave at us.” Copper stated.

“True, had a bunch of smaller ones with her, reminded me of some sort of bug pony class field trip or something.” Flathoof considered.

“Huh, we should put that in the report.” Copper considered.

“Yeah. Remind me to add that in, also the part where Jet Set is trying to loot his own house.” Flathoof tapped his chin.

“Why would he do that?” Copper muttered.

“Insurance fraud probably.” Flathoof responded. “Did we have any doughnuts left?”

[Canterlot Castle Chapel]

“Seriously?” Chrysalis sighed picking up what remained of her demagic'd scimitar. The weapon had several large bites taken out of it and was little more than a few inches of blade and the grip.

“MERRPHAMFF!” Spike accused though a mouthful of the rare metal.

“Do you know how hard it was to gather the metal for this thing to make magic repelling sword that could still be enchanted? Mithril does not grow on trees.” Chrysalis sighed. ”Also I have no idea if dragons can even eat that so if you get sick it's on you.”

“You've already made two of my brothers sick... what's one more huh?” Twilight growled.

“Oh don't even give me that, Shining will be fine with some sleep and Rahs just needs to stop trying to eat my spells and he'll be fine. “Chrysalis waved it off. “Oh that reminds me.”

The Changeling Queen grinned and stomped over to Celestia looking down at the trapped mare taking note of a few rebar rods piercing through her body.

With a wide fanged grin, she brought the blade down and lopped off the Princesses head.

There was a great deal of screaming as Chrysalis lifted the severed Solar Princesses head up in her magic, cackling.

“I really, really, hate you, you know.” Celestia's head growled at the changeling queen.

“Pfft! Like you haven't done the same thing to me in the past.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes.

Those who hadn't fainted at the decapitation now stared in shock as Celestia's severed head snarled at the bug pony.

“Oh would you lot give it a rest!? She's a goddess! I'd have to wipe out every pony and pony cross breed on the planet before she'd stay dead. Also I'd have to destroy the sun too. I can't kill her, she'll regrow from this in a couple of hours tops.” Chrysalis snarled before bouncing the head off a few rocks getting some curses from the Princess.” Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like a bitch though.”

Twilight winced as Celestia cursed at Chrysalis. The purple unicorn's horn lighting up again as she fired another shot at the bug queen ,only for Chrysalis' blade to yank away from poking Celestia's nose and smack the energy blast aside.

The energy bolt arched out of the new opening in the wall, soaring across Canterlot, before it slammed into the clock tower of the Canterlot library, sending the tower crashing down to the ground and setting the building on fire.

“Whoops.” Chrysalis blinked glancing back, taking the moment to smack Celestia against a wall again.” Look what you did.”

Twilight blinked, a twitch forming around one eye as her mane started to smolder.

“Oh crap! Not this.... guys, a little help.” Chrysalis sighed.

Twilight was very quickly buried in bodies, as any other guests the changelings could get their hooves on were suddenly thrown on top of the Sparkle sister, burying her in possible collateral damage.

Chrysalis smirked and trotted over to the hole in the wall, looking down over the edge, before she smirked and dropped Celestia's head off the side.

There was a long screaming curse then a wet sounding splorch as a conveniently place manure cart had a new deposit to it. Chrysalis cackled madly and trotted back into the middle of the room pulling off the wedding dress finally and tossing it carefully over the podium.

“Right, okay... Spike … right, you seem to be the calm one here. While I am not happy about my sword, my statement still stands. I have no interest in you or your family, and once I get what I want, I'm gone like the wind and you and the rest of your family and friends will be none the worse for wear..... maybe after a bit of therapy, but anyway, my people are the ones getting brutalized out there.”

“I would believe that more if you didn't behead Princess Celestia.” Spike growled.

“She'll be fine, I'm just driving home the point that I kicked her fat flank.” Chrysalis smirked.

“That's not exactly an accomplishment.” Twilight shouted from the bottom of the pile barely getting her muzzle out. “ She couldn't use her full power because of all the guests.”

“Well no duh, why do you think I attacked the wedding? For the cake?” Chrysalis rolled her eyes taking note of Big Mac trying to attack her with the pew, she blocked the attack with her sword grabbed him by the tail and flung him onto the pony pile with a great deal of cries of pain and groans at the added weight.

“Where is Cadence!?” Twilight demanded rather weakly as some one was standing on her lungs.

“Safe. Probably will be back in a day or two looking and feeling like a million bits after that resort trip package I gave her as a wedding present.” Chrysalis chuckled.

“Just for the record..... “ Spike spoke up.”Are you one of Princess Celestia's ex's or Princess Luna's?”

“Woof.” Rahs grumbled trying to recover.

“Or one of Shining's........ You know how much of a long shot that is right?” Spike accused. “ Shining's to dense to have some sort of secret love affair.”

“Okay, first off, I'm highly insulted that you would ever think that I would have a thing for a mare who's ninety percent cake by body weight. Two, I've never really met Princess Luna, and three this was my first encounter with Shining Armor.”

“Damn, I'm out, but so are Rarity and Fluttershy.” Spike grumbled. ”Dang, guess that means we're gonna have to wait until you tell us your diabolical plan.”

“Why would I do that?” Chrysalis smirked.

“What? No monologueing?” Spike pouted. ”What kind of villain are you?”

“The smart kind. My goals aside from kicking cake flanks butt are mine alone. And really you lot should just surrender, I've beaten Celestia, I have your friends captive, and I've got your older brother under mind control. I could ask him to blast you and he would.”

“No, you don't. That's a dazed and confused spell coupled with a minor illusion to make him think you're Cadence.” Twilight fussed.

“Which I could easily make him blast you with by making him think you were a rat or something that I was scared of.” Chrysalis pointed out.

“....... Damn you...” Twilight cursed.

“Not the first to say that, and not going to be the last.” Chrysalis paused looking at the main door curiously then glancing behind her at the destroyed clock tower as if she was going to check the time but forgot the building was on fire.” Huh, maybe I should have monologued a bit. “

A bit more staring and waiting around.

“Pharynx!Where are they? I was told they got out before the wedding started?” Chrysalis demanded in a hushed whisper to a large changeling near her.

The changeling responded with a shrug.

“Fine, lets tempt fates shall we. Damn spiders can't take a joke any way.” Chrysalis hissed before shouting to no one in particular. “My victory is perfect and absolute, all bow to me!”

It was then the doors to the chapel exploded.

“There they are.” Chrysalis said happily.

Author's Note

and thanks to theillustriousq for the Jet set looting his own home joke.

And in this chapter we see the resilience of Gods first hand.

Also i still haven't revealed the plot some how. ehh maybe next chapter...... oh wait that's supposed to be the last chapter..... oops.

A Claw-terlot Wedding part 2, part 6

Twilight gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding
part 2, part 6

[Canterlot Royal palace, Chapel]

The great doors to the room crashed heavily to the ground, sending up a cloud of dust and debris as a small group of ponies strode in.

To the left side was a bruised Applejack, still clad in a chefs hat and apron with a put out expression on her face, who glanced in annoyance to the mare in the lead of the group. Next to her were the pair of Nightlight and Twilight Velvet Sparkle, the former reloading a few of the crossbows that floated around him, cursing the need to use them, and the latter was doing her best to keep the Cutie Mark Crusaders corralled, with only a bit more success than most.

To the right side was a rather well groomed Rarity who unlike the others didn't have a speck of green goo on her. Her mane and tail were also perfect. To the right of her was Pinkie Pie, the mare had a straight mane and seemed to be foaming at the mouth. Behind her was a skittish looking Fluttershy trying to calm the pink mare down. Rainbow Dash stood on the other side of Pinkie Pie, trying her best to get the gunk out of her wings.

Behind them was a host of guards, nobles, and maids fighting off a surging wave of changelings. Leading the group, and receiving a number of angry glares, was a pink alicorn, one that looked as if she had gone eight rounds in the ring with a pissed off mountain gorilla.

The Changelings in the room quickly surrounded the group, giving Pinkie Pie a wide berth. Weapons were pointed at the lot of them.

“CHRYSALIS!!” Cadence bellowed. The power of the Royal Canterlot voice blowing out the last undamaged window in the room, which oddly seemed to be a image of Discord eating popcorn

“Cady!” Chrysalis replied happily, pronking over to the pink alicorn mare as she approached a smile on her face. She slowed, the smile faltering as she noticed the state the goddess of love was in.
“What the buck happened to you?”

“What happened to me, what the buck are you doing with my fiancée!?” Cadence snapped before waving a wing in a broad sweep... “ And what in Tartarus is all this?”

Chrysalis grinned,” Well if you must know, it was supposed to be a gift.”

“What?”

“You don't recall what I said?”

“What? I certainly don't recall you saying you were going to attack Canterlot.” Cadence snapped, stomping past the changeling Guards to get face to face with Chrysalis.

“I did promise you a kingdom though.” Chrysalis grinned wider. “ And of course since most kingdoms are taken already I had to steal one first.”

“What?!” Cadence blinked.

“Don't listen to her she killed Princess Celestia!!” Twilight shouted as the others helped her from under the pile of ponies.

Cadence blinked a moment and looked to the hole in the wall to see the sun still shining.” Suns still out Twilight. Celestia can't be dead.”

It was at this point when Cadence looked back at Twilight that she noticed the groups explosive entrance had unfurled a massive banner over the door. A banner with a picture of Cadence covered in pig slop trying to catch a unruly pig in it's pen.

“I'm gonna kill her though...” Cadence growled staring at the banner.

“Oh, I remember that picture, that pig was an asshole.” Chrysalis commented sagely.

“ Grrrrr, AAHHHHH!!!” Twilight screamed out jabbing a hoof at the bug queen and pink alicorn. “ Explain. Now!”

“Is she always like this?” Chrysalis asked.

“Woof.” Rahs offered.

“Yeah she's had a stressful few days.” Spike agreed patting his brother on the back as he remained bent over the pews.

“Oh well that's easy.. Cady and I used to date before she moved to Canterlot.” Chrysalis admitted.

Cadence face hooved and the rest of the crowd simply stared at the pair.

Big Mac coughed lightly holding his hoof out to Rarity who placed a sack of bits into it.

“You had to say that?” Cadence grumbled.

“What it's true. Then you break it off to come to Canterlot after I told you lard ass back there had sealed me in a volcano and we didn't get along. I offered to teach you everything you needed to know, but you wanted a proper education. Despite all the fun we had together, BAM next thing I know you're getting married to some tool you met here.” Chrysalis waved a hoof. “ I mean how was I supposed to react to all that?”

“Not like this? You invaded Canterlot!” Cadence snapped back.” This is hardly a way to try to win back some pony.”

“I don't do things by halves Cady, you know that.” Chrysalis nodded solomly.

Twilight's twitching was getting worse.

“Right okay, I think I get this now. You gave me the two week spa package to get me out of the way so you could take my place to get close to Celestia to take her out.”

“Well, get revenge for the time she locked me and my hive in a volcano any way.” Chrysalis agreed.” I still have plenty of other things to get revenge on her for.”

“Wait, you've been me for two weeks?” Cadence demanded.” I've been at that resort for two weeks....”

“An she bumped up the wedding by a few months as well.” Twilight Velvet added.

“ You were going to marry MY SHINY!?!” Cadence growled.

“Well no, but actually yes. The marriage would have been annulled once everything came about, though his status as a Prince that was fought for would be called into question and make a great deal of a headache and paperwork for Celestia. Which was a bonus. During the intervening time I would swoop in sweep you off your hooves again and wham, bam, happily every after.” Chrysalis shrugged.” But the Sparkles there made me go to plan B. I hate plan B, but at least the hive gets to tour Canterlot for a while until Shining Armor recovers enough magic to put the shield up again and throw us out. Easy way to win right there.....”

“So you spent two weeks with Shining Armor.” Cadence growled clearly getting madder and not listening well to the bug queen.

“Well,..... yeeeessss....”

“And you needed to keep him thinking you were me.....” Cadence's ears were flattened to her head.

“Yeeeessss.....” Chrysalis rubbed the back of her head with a hoof. “I mean honestly I think you could do better, but he is clearly picking up some of your likes and other things, so you are training him well....”

“Chryssy...” Cadence snarled.” You slept with him!??!”

Another twitch from Twilight.

“Well there wasn't much sleeping really....” Chrysalis offered as she took a step, back not meeting Cadence's gaze. “Look I had to make sure he was worthy of you and all that.... Shining back me up here.”

A few more strands of Twilight's mane sprung up and those around her wisely backed away.

Shining Armor wobbled as he turned to the Goddess of Love and the Goddess of Change.

“Shining seriously say something to help me out here.” Chrysalis demanded.” I mean you love her right...”

“My heart belongs to you Cadence...........” Shining answered in a rather monotone voice.

“See no harm no foul.....”Chrysalis smiled.

“.....But my dick has a vested interest in a mare that can be anything I want....”Shining Continued before sitting down hard not able to keep up the illusion of coherence any more.

“Oh, oh wow...... “ Chrysalis muttered. “Okay, I did not tell him to say that, but it's kinda romantic when you think about it.......”

Chrysalis might have continued had Cadence not lept at the Changeling Queen tackling her to the ground and going for the throat.

There was screaming, hair pulling, a good bit of flank kicking, some biting, and a great many male eyes, and some female ones, locked on the fight between the two goddesses.

At some point some one decided to make it more interesting and threw the four tiered wedding cake from the table at the back of the room onto the pair with a sweet smelling splorch.

No one would admit who did it, but there were certain parts of a broken stained glass window that seemed to smile wider.

Given the fact that the pair were the pinnacles of their race in terms of form and beauty, nearly all the fighting had stopped for a time so everyone could watch.

Unfortunately the fight ended with Chrysalis flinging Cadence off of her. The pink alicorn mare flailed in the air before crashing down on the pews next to Rahs.

“Dammit Cadence...” Chrysalis snarled.” Alright my fault there. I probably should have held back for a while, it's not like he'll be around long compared to us. Still you did always have a way to work me up and I became envious of that colt toy you've got. I certainly didn't want any one else to have you. Maybe I should come back later when every one's cooled off. This was clearly not my best thought out plan B.”

“DIE!!!” a voice snapped drawing every ones attention to the burning unicorn in the middle of the room.

“Oh right, Twilight Sparkle is still here, ......shit.” Chrysalis sighed, dodging a blast of magic as the smaller unicorn charged her and the rest of the group attacked the Changelings.

Celestia had at this point reformed, climbed out of the manure cart and flown to the hole in the wall, ready to return the favor to the bug queen.

The Solar Princess surged up to the hole, only to take a blast of magic from Twilight that Chrysalis dodged. The blast slammed into her, searing off her feathered wings and sending her screaming back down to crash back into the cart of manure.

“Oooh, that had to sting” Chrysalis winced. ”You really need to work on your aim Sparkle.”

“GAAAAH!!” Twilight roared.

“Don't give me that. It's clear you've got the power to spare, but you've got a temper and a fairly short fuse. You should really learn to focus on that instead of letting me rile you up.” Chrysalis chimed in her horn glowing as she vaporized a pair of pews flung at her by Applejack and Big Mac.

Cadence pushed herself upright. She hadn't been hurt by Chrysalis, but she had the wind knocked out of her. She really should take Auntie Luna up on that training offer. She glanced over as Spike helped her upright, nodding her thanks before looking to Twilight still trying to blast the Changeling Queen, who was easily dodging the attacks.

“Are you okay Cadence?” Spike asked. Noting a rather large chunk of cake on her wing, he quickly picked it up and ate it, heck some one needed to at least taste the thing.

“I've been better Spike.” Cadence growled looking to surge back into the fight before she noticed Shining Armor's horn still sparking.

“What?” Cadence asked.” Is he still trying to cast the shield?”

“Looks it. A dazed spell is just keeping him in his own little world and I think she's got another spell cast to mute his magic. That's probably how she made the shield so weak, and it's what made Rahs sick. The connection we have is a pain sometimes.” Spike offered.

Cadence blinked, looked at Shinning, then at Chrysalis with a curious expression before looking back to Shining, then over at Rahs before smirking.

“Not the dumbest thing I've done.” Cadence admitted grabbing Rahs off the pew and pushing him to the floor, her hooves pushing open his mouth as he flailed.

“Sorry about this Rahs, but open wide.” Cadence ordered before her horn glowed brightly as she poured all her magic down the flailing Moon Dogs throat.

The effect was immediate. Twilight's horn surged and Chrysalis barely missed being teleported into deep space like the chapel roof just was.

Spike coughed and a gout of green flame burst from his mouth engulfing the pews before him and oddly turning a few of them into ducks as the chaos infecting the link was burned out by a surge of alicorn magic.

Outside Celestia pushed herself up out of the manure for a second time, cursing loudly, only for a surge from her horn to make her look up as a half dozen heavy oak pews, and a couple of ducks, formed in the air above . Gravity quickly took hold as the message was delivered and the oak benches crashed down on top of her.

Shining Armor had never had a surge growing up. His magic had been steady and grew with him, with only a small jump once Rahs and Spike came into the picture. Power wise, and even skill wise he had nothing on his sister. He focused on his shields and that however paid off in spades, he had no equal in that field. His shield even managing to stop attacks from several gods who wanted to test it.

He could shape his shields however he wished, making platforms or weapons or even things with moving parts, he had managed a working clock once, though it ran three seconds too fast.

He could customize his shield to allow certain things or individuals in, or he could seal it to be so tight that even light couldn't pass through. Due to his, 'training,' with Cadence he also had the stamina to keep a shield up over a whole city for days, weeks if he didn't push it.

In his currently dazed state, his mind was still working on instinct. His brain was telling him it was time to recharge the shield and he was trying to do so , though he wasn't coherent enough to realize he was being blocked.

He also had picked up a number of things about changelings, and had altered his shield to repel them, despite barely being aware enough to have noticed them.

Though like the others, his attention was soly focused on the Cadence and Chrysalis cake fight for a brief time.

His magic was failing to break past the barrier that Chrysalis had put on his magic, and the sputtering of his horn was a clear sign of that.

However when a flood of alicorn magic rushed into him through the link, it super charged his magic, allowing him to easily break through the damping effect, allowing him to cast his shield spell.

The bubble of force that emerged from the tip of his horn grew larger with an alarming speed.

The changelings in the chapel barely had time to notice the shield wall before it slapped into them.
The glowing barrier catching them and sending them tumbling along the walls and floor, flowing like water and forcing them out of holes in the walls or the remains of windows and out into the air like they were launched from a bottle of well shaken bubbly.

The shield quickly raced across Canterlot gathering up changelings in a wave of surprisingly soft force, flinging them away from where they were. The shield seemed to curve and shift forcing the changelings out through the nearest opening rather than through any solid structures. The swarm was launched skyward , screaming as they were flung into the distance like from a catapult.

The shield itself hit it's full size once again, a shimmer of power arching over the dome.

Inside the chapel, Twilight fumed at missing a parting shot at the Changeling Queen.

Spike lay on the floor with Applebloom petting his head spines as he clutched his chest, the fiery super burp having been rather painful.

Shining Armor immediately collapsed, his horn trailing wisps of smoke and glowing hot.

Cadence herself was covered in moon dog vomit as Rahs threw up on her the moment she stopped feeding him magic.

Pinkie Pie was being calmed down by Fluttershy.

Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were both staring warily at Twilight as she invented new swear words while ranting.

Big Mac was staring warily at Nightlight and his collection of loaded Griffonesse crossbows, a few of which were pointed at him.

Scootaloo and Sweetiebelle were checking their flanks to see if they got any bug stomping cutie marks while Prince Blueblood kept a silencing spell up around all the under aged while Twilight went off the deep end.

The gathered nobles and Guards were still in varying states of confusion and worry as they tried to figure out what the buck was going on.

Twilight Velvet was considering finding a bar of soap for her daughter's mouth.

Nightlight surveyed the room as he considered before shrugging.

“Soooooo, any pony want to go get breakfast?” Nightlight asked. “ I'm thinking Pony Joes.”

Author's Note

And thus wraps up the final core chapter of Season 2, now for the epilogues. at least one for Calw-terlot wedding, then one or two for the season.

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Epilogue 1

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
by TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Epilogue 1

[Pony Joes]

A rather miss matched and haggard looking group sat inside the doughnut shop. Despite the invasion, there were a good score of Guards outside the doughnut shop watching it from all sides and turning away any pony who might want a snack despite the attack.

Joe was a little annoyed at the possible loss of business, but he wasn't going to argue with any of the Princesses.

Well he wasn't going to any further. He had flat out refused to let Princess Celestia into his shop until she took a bath. He did sell her a couple of chocolate doughnuts before she left, but only through the walk up window. Joe didn't know what happened, but the Princess of the Sun smelled like literal crap.

Seated at a few tables that had been pushed together was Twilight Velvet Sparkle, who ordered a pair of powdered cinnamon doughnuts. Nightlight Sparkle, who simply got a coffee and a bagel with cream cheese. Spike Sparkle who ordered the dozen sampler pack and two custom sapphire glazed and was sharing the former with the CMC. Twilight Sparkle, who was given a vanilla cream doughnut, but had yet to eat it. And laying over a bench nearby was Rahs Sparkle, who had ordered a bucket and a wet towel.

Shining Armor Sparkle had been taken to the hospital and was the only one of the Sparkle set missing, he usually got a plain glazed.

Also present were Pinkie Pie, who got what Spike got minus the gem doughnuts. Fluttershy, who got one small cake doughnut and some milk. Rarity, who despite claiming to be on a diet, swiped bits of the others orders. Applejack, who ordered a cider and three apple jelly doughnuts. Big Mac, who ordered the same as his sister. Prince Blue Blood who along with Rainbow Dash, was splitting a sampler box. Princess Cadence, who had nothing, because the others wouldn't let her order. And Princess Luna, who was working her way through her third sampler box and eighth cup of coffee. The Princess had also paid for doughnuts and coffee for the Night Guard outside the shop, all of whom looked panicked as the princess of dreams polished off her eighth cup.

The pink princess looked as if she had had better days and every one in the room was staring at her.

The lunar princess had finished explaining why she arrived late a few minutes prior. Seems there had been an escapee from Tartarus, though after thorough pony hunt, and a well deserved smack down, the centaur was back in his cell.

Luna was also most unhappy to have missed out on the fun, though she was also rather curious as to why everyone was mad at Cadence.

Twilight Sparkle had also caught fire at least twice.

She had then been given an iced coffee, decaff.

“Alright look. I met Chrysalis years after I ascended and a long time before I came to Canterlot. I've only been in Canterlot twenty five years before Luna came back. I was dating her for a good century or so before that. She was one of the few constants I had out there. She taught me a lot of the spells i know, helped me through other ponies dying around me of old age,as well as … other things.” Cadence glanced to the foals and Spike. “We had an argument before I came to Canterlot. She didn't want me to go, but I needed to adjust socially. So I left despite what she wanted.”

The only noise was the chewing of doughnuts, the occasional sip of drink. No one's gaze left Cadence.

“I had some contact with her over the years, though it was mostly polite letters or a gift sent one way or another for a birthday or holiday. I told her Shining proposed last year and the next letter I get back has her coming to visit. So I meet her at the train station, in disguise of course and we talk a long time and we go out to hit some clubs in Canterlot. She gives me a two week vacation package to what she tells me is a swank resort that she owns. We get drunk, get tossed out of some bars, and next thing I know I wake up in said swank hotel with a check list and a note from Chrysalis to enjoy myself. I never even questioned that the other guests I met and talked to might be changelings, I just enjoyed getting pampered.”

“Mmmm.” Twilight Velvet hummed.

“I have no idea about the rest of this. She never said anything about trying to sweep me off my hooves. Honestly I expected to wake up in bed with her again, not at the resort.....”

“Hmmm.” Nightlight added his tone to the conversation.

“Look I didn't expect her to do any of this, let alone try to go after Shiny like that.”Cadence flattened her ears to her head.

“Well. She ain't lying.” Applejack offered.

“That hardly makes it better that she knew of a danger to Equestria and said nothing.” Twilight snapped.

“Twilight dear last I heard you and your brothers are listed as a danger to Equestria.” Twilight Velvet added making Twilight flinch.

“Mostly to nobles and reporters.” Prince added.

“Okay, that's all nice and dramatic, I'm sure if Rahs was feeling better he'd love it, but this is still a set up for something.” Spike added drawing everyone's attention.

“What do you mean Spike?” Twilight Velvet asked.

“I mean what was the real plan? It couldn't have just been to try an get you back in this ridiculously over the top way.” Spike pointed out.

“I dunno Chryssy is a bit of a drama queen. She'd give Rahs a run for his bits.” Cadence added as Rahs snorted dismissively at the statement.

“Cadence she literally told you how to beat her. That doesn't seem like something a villain does unless they want to be beaten.”Spike offered.

“What?” Twilight demanded.

“What do you mean what? I was right there next to them during the brawl. Was I the only one listening to her rant so I could figure out what the plot was?” Spike demanded.

“Evidently.” Rarity smiled. ”But I agree Spikey, why would she do that unless she had another goal? She also seemed to go out of her way not to physically harm any pony. Which removes her from my suspects...” Rarity muttered the last with a worried glance at Rainbow Dash.

“She cut off Celestia's head.” Twilight growled.

“We have done that as well with Dr. Choppy. Granted it was an 'ax' ident.” Luna smirked as she got a few groans.

“I don't want to know.” Rainbow Dash sighed.

“Trust me, you don't.” Prince agreed with a shudder, having witnessed it.

“It also seems like it was the flavor of her magic, not any intent to hurt Rahs that made him sick.” Twilight Velvet offered. “I did warn him chocolate was bad for dogs.”

“Wuff.” Rahs agreed.” Ruff......”

“He says that thinking about strawberries now makes him ill too.” Pinkie Pie added seemingly back to normal, but not leaving Fluttershy's side.

“So it seems Chrysalis had other plans. I wonder how well they worked given Canterlot is on high alert and all the changelings were evicted from the city due to Shining armor's shield.” Luna pondered.”They are not getting back in through that either.”

“Well the only issue we can focus on now is if the wedding is still going to happen. “Nightlight offered. “You and Shining Armor are going to have to talk this over to see if he's even up for it any more with this new information, as well as if you can get over his ….. honesty.”

“I can get over that fairly easy, he thought it was me and it's not like I haven't done the same....” Cadence sighed.

“Seriously though, how were you attracted to her, she looks like a nightmare made into buggy flesh.” Rainbow Dash added.” No offense.”

“Some taken.” Luna smirked.

“Well she didn't show up like that at first and it was a number of years after that I found out she was an emotional vampire. At that point I already kinda liked her … and I liked the fangs....” Cadence muttered.

“HAH!! see it's not just me!” Twilight shouted to no one in particular, before realizing what she said and quickly sat back down turning bright red before sliding under the table to mutter to herself about using time travel to stop herself from saying that.

Big Mac tried not to smirk as he wondered if he could find some rather high quality vampire fangs before leaving Canterlot.

Author's Note

Alright one or two more epilogues for this before i get to the season epilogues.

Also if you have questions comments , concerns or just wanna faff about a bit the Twilight Get's a Puppy Discord server is still around. And i'm on it far more than i should be.

Here's the link.

A Claw-terlot Wedding, Epilogue 2

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

A Claw-terlot Wedding,
Epilogue 2

[ Woods around the base of the Maneterhorn. Below Canterlot.]

A lone earth pony stallion trotted through the woods at the base of the mountain. The nondescript pony had a brown coat and black hair with a gray horse shoe as a cutiemark.

Every part of him screamed, 'ignore me, I'm not important.'

Which is why Chrysalis knew who it was. Pheidole, poor bug, was never a good infiltrator, he was a good adviser though, unless she asked him what disguise to take.

“Report Pheidole.” a fallen log demanded before it shifted with a flash of green fire into Chrysalis.”I've been out here a bit too long.”

“My Queen, we have recovered all of those ejected from Canterlot, team C managed to do enough damage that the Royal Guard are unable to pursue. Minor injuries to report, but as calculated the love filling that shield was more than enough to heal any major injuries the invasion team took as they were pushed out.”

“I should hope so, it took me a week to adjust his shield enough where it wouldn't hurt us. I was worried Cady wouldn't catch on and I'd have to trigger his shield myself for our escape. Really all she had to do was remove the dampener, but I liked her idea.” Chrysalis grumbled twisting a bit and popping her back.” What about Gamma Swarm?”

“In position already my queen. Phase two is go and they are spreading the rumor that the shield flushed out all the changelings in the city. Should make it easier for a host of visiting wedding guests suddenly wanting to settle down in a 'safe' city. At least it won't arouse any more suspicions. By that token neither will an influx of new Guard recruits. The mission was a success.”

“Partially, it will make infiltrators and gatherers every where else have a harder time, but we'll have a secure hold in Canterlot now and the love the populace has for cake flank and her sister will be a great boost.” Chrysalis sighed. “I also saw what Twilight used as a spell to 'out me'. Not something I considered before but hardly a threat to me. Get a couple of the better infiltrators in other places to be exposed by the spell so the Guard thinks it works every time. Back ally, Blackmarket, and Fence should be able get away easily enough if they are revealed.”

“Given the result, I take Plan A was unsuccessful?”

“Never expected A to work once the Sparkles showed up, besides that plan was boring no matter how annoying it would have been to Celestia. While I didn't convince Cady to come with me this time, I got to chop off Celestia's head and get a measure of the Sparkle's power, so that was nice. I love sitting down to play chess then suddenly switching to water polo.”

“And?”

“Let the council know they are still not to do ANYTHING that might draw the Sparkles ire. I don't know what sunbutt was training that mare for, but she's scary. In fact, keep away from her parents too and any of the Element bearers. Kindness and Laughter in particular. There's nothing I can think of that would be worth the cost of having that lot against us right now.”

“Understood, do you need an escort back to the hive?”

“No. just tell the council what I said goes. I'm going to take a little vacation until the heat dies down.” Chrysalis smirked, turning into a gray unicorn pony with streaks of blond and red in her mane and tail, a cutie mark with a green heart appearing on her flank.

“Of course my queen.”

[Ponyville train station, the next day]

The Mane Six, plus the Sparkle brothers, Big Mac and CMC stepped off the train headed for home. While Princess Celestia had offered them a few more days to recover in Canterlot, they had all refused once Twilight shared the spell she used to out Chrysalis.

Twilight had been ranting non stop on the trip.

“Alright so every pony make sure to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. We know changelings are among us now and we have to remain vigilant.” Twilight rambled.

The other girls nodded with various degrees of interest in her rant, mostly it was automatic as this had been going on for a while.

Rahs still felt like crap, Spike and the CMC were all tired, with Applebloom already passed out over her brothers back.

“Hey Spike!”

The whole group turned to the one shouting spotting a changeling walking up to them.

“Hey Kevin, whatcha need?” Spike asked.

“Yeah you still doing that O&O thing? My cousins gonna be staying here a while. Firefly wondered if I knew if there was any one who ran stuff around here and I remember you saying something about it so I figured I'd ask for him.” Kevin shrugged ignoring Pinkie Pie's glare.

“Huh, yeah let me know when he comes into town. Be nice to have a full set of the four basic monster food groups for once.” Spike shrugged.

“Alright thanks, I'll let him know. Any way stuff to do so I won't keep you.” Kevin nodded before trotting away.

“Huh cool, a fourth player.” Spike considered.

“Right any way remember girls, changelings could be any where, so keep your eyes open.” Twilight continued.

Author's Note

And thus ends a Claw-terlot wedding. Chryssy is over here playing Xanatos speed chess while Tia is playing checkers.

Feline butt award, Season 2 Epilogue

Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 2
By TDR

Feline butt award
Season 2 Epilogue

[? , Summer, 1 month after the wedding.]

The rustle of the box was soon followed by the woosh of the oat crunchies and the clatter as it fell into the bowl.

There was a faint grumble about the distinct lack of marshmallows in modern cereal compared to how it had been twenty years ago, before a pop and a splash filled the bowl with milk.

A faint tinkling and a large urn was opened and a dollop of pink goo was splattered atop of the cereal before it was stirred into the mix.

Love honey was primarily a changeling thing, a condensed form of the collected love that changelings needed to survive. A changeling could survive for a long time without it, feeding on solid food, but they would eventually grow sicker and die. It was one reason she would never forgive Celestia, despite the needs of her race.

The changeling queen was half way through the bowl when the door to the kitchen burst open and a trio of changelings stood on the other side armed for battle.

Well the female in the front was. She wore armor and held a collection of daggers in her magic. One of the males behind her held a frying pan, and the other had donned boxing gloves for some reason.

Chrysalis simply looked over at them and ate another spoon full of the cereal.

Saturnia cursed her daggers lowering.

“Mother... what are you doing here!?”

“Eating breakfast.” Chrysalis shrugged.

“Are those my oat crunchies!?” Saturnia scolded.

“Oh relax you can get another box.” She glanced at the two males noting that at least Thorax had lowered the frying pan, Bees still seemed ready to go with how he was throwing jabs into the air. One of the wild swings hit Thorax who replied by decking Bees with the frying pan.

Saturnia grumbled and strode over to the table slamming the door in the males faces.

“Seriously mother why are you here?”

“Vacation.”

“In Ponyville? Are you nuts?”

“I've been called worse.”

“Mother.... you started a nation wide changeling hunt, this is an absolute disaster. And now you're just sitting here eating my cereal.” Saturnia stabbed her daggers into the table with a growl before sitting down.”How are you so calm?”

“Because this is the plan. Sure it will suck for a little while. Thanks to Celestia, Canterlot was untouchable to us. Now with Luna and Cadence around we have a chance. Any pro-changeling laws we might have tried to work out would have been stopped by sun butt and the one who suggested them scrutinized heavily. Now we have changelings in places they could pass things to Luna or Cadence. And it won't take much to simply spin the invasion as little more than a rowdy protest, something that was not illegal. No one was hurt and it did less property damage than the last hoof ball riot. As for my beheading Celestia, that's an old feud that falls under a number of unused dueling codes in pony law. The only crime's that could be levied against us could easily be thrown out by a decent lawyer, and we have the best of them.”

“How did you even get the council to agree with this?”

“Pretty easily, I told them to do it, or else. Perks of being a races god. I let them run the day to day, but the long term planning is my thing.”Chrysalis smirked. “So how have you been since I last saw you, we didn't get to talk much except for through the mirror and that's all business. Manage to get into that Moon Dog's pants yet? I'm expecting grand-lings at any time now. Not sure if I want them to call me nana or me-maw though. I will say however he does not do well with chocolate.”

Saturnia groaned. “Why are you here mother?”

“What I can't come and see my daughter?”

Saturnia stared at her mother who was noisily slurping up the last of the milk in the bowl.

“By the stars you're planing to stay here for your vacation aren't you...?” Saturnia grumbled slapping her head to the top of the table. She needed to hide all her snacks in new locations, she was certain her mother had already scouted most of the hidden panels in the kitchen.

“That's not an answer.... honey....”

“Mother on top of blocking the mail and gathering intel for you do you know what this year has been like here?”

“Vaguely,” Chrysalis shrugged.

“Mother this year alone I have been attacked by a chaos god, suffered some sort of weird plague of cutie marks. Pinkie Pie. Had a superhero, of all things run about town. Delt with an angsty Rainbow Dash and mopey element bearers. Had a rush of feather flu hit the hive during a water delivery to Cloudsdale. Pinkie Pie. Had Princess Luna herself come to town more often than she is in Canterlot. Had some stupid charlatans who tried to out business the Apples sucker Thorax and Bees out of a few hundred bits each. Had the date of the century turn the town into a battle ground against the Princesses The dragon attack. We have had 56 Tuesdays. The CMC. I had to fight against two other suitors and still failed at catching Rahs. We had PETA foal napping citizens, one of them even captured Kevin and we had to rescue him. Pinkie Pie. There was ridiculously over powered sister hooves social starring the Princesses, AGAIN. A minotaur assertiveness trainer who Bees took after and started rhyming for a month. Pinkie Pie. You have the whole country hunting changelings. And, AND, you ate the last of my oat crunchies! “ Saturnia ranted. “How do you think I've been!?”

“So pretty good then?” Chrysalis offered as Saturnia screamed and smacked her head on the table.

“Calm down honey. It's not that bad, if the plan works out properly we won't even need to hide any more, it's just gonna be rough for a bit. Even if it does go south, you'll outlive any one who was going to cause an issue with it save Celestia. And she's mostly my problem.”

“Except you have probably made Cadence hate us.”

“Most likely just me. But she'll get over that. I did meet her husband though, nice guy a little dull.... I wonder if that's why she chose vanilla for the cake flavor to represent him. Clever girl.” Chrysalis chuckled. “ I'll go have a word with her again once everything's cooled down.”

“So you never asked her then?” Saturnia sighed.

“I'm afraid there wasn't time, and I couldn't risk Celestia finding out that we survived.” Chrysalis sighed. “ And I never could manage to meet up with her away from the hag. With luck we can meet with her again without any issue to talk.”

“It's been forty years mother.”

“Which is barely any time at all for a god or a child of a god.” Chrysalis shrugged. “ You never really wanted to meet her before.”

“Now I do.” Saturnia sighed pulling off her armored helmet.

“ Oh did your new found interest in boys trigger this?” Chrysalis grinned, this was an old discussion with her daughter.

Saturnia tossed her head, long strands of naturally pink hair falling down over the sides of her head on either side of her gnarled horn.

“At some point I wish to meet my sire, mother.” Saturnia frowned.

Author's Note

FINAL ACT TWEEEST!!!!

Also for those who want to know about the title?

Cat's ass trophy.
Catastrophe.

And here's the link to season 3