Destroy All Ponies! Wait, WHAT?!

by ArkKane

Rating: mature
Tags: Death, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Science Fiction, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 1437

Well Brains!! Looks like Crypto and Pox are gonna need to teach the Conversion Bureau a lesson!

Celestia had done it, with the magic of all of Ponykind they had turned the world into a new Equis, all the humans have been made into Newfoals and Ponies have set up shop.

though not all is going there way, for Luna has sensed a new star in the sky... one that foretold great trouble.

Rated Mature for our favorite violent, badmouthing, innuendo-making, grey skinned Sociopath.

Published 2018-08-27 14:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-02-12 08:55:43 UTC

Chapter 2: What the hell is a Tutorial?

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Chapter 1: The Discovery of Change

Author's Note

here's something new! I know it isn't more of my other fics but I'll still be working on them, don't worry.

Chapter 1: The Discovery of Change

“Orthopox 13, Inter-spacial Travel Log #23-5, we are approaching Planet Earth, where Cryptosporidium-136 was taken down by an uncatalogued sapient species. As stated in 23-1, Crypto-136’s vehicle was destroyed due to unintended contact with a dangerous missile weapon undergoing testing, last moments of his Saucer’s Sensory System relayed the strange creatures approaching with primitive projectile weapons. Capture of Cryptosporidium-136 is likely, I am currently heading to Earth Orbit with Cryptosporidium-137 to investigate the fate of Crypto-136 and the potential supply of Pure Furon DNA.”

Pox’s audio log was interrupted by the ping of the navigational computer, notifying him that they have reached their destination. However, as Orthopox, high ranking Commander of the Furon Navy, activated the Observation Monitor, he was shocked silent at the sight before him.

Earth… was way more colorful than the last image they had of it. Granted it was a few years since that Transmission, but that period of time should not be long enough for the entire atmospheric and environmental shift the world had suffered.

Something had changed it, and Orthopox was going to find out what.

“Crypto! Get in here!”

Several explosions emerged in Crypto’s recreational chamber. “By the unyielding stamina of Arkvoodle, Pox! Could you wait with your check-ups until after I’ve finished weapon maintenance?! I swear if you can’t fix my Disintegrator I’m gonna… woah… what the hell happened to this mudball, and why does looking at it make me want to hurl?”

“That, Crypto, is Earth. Something or Someone has gone about terraforming the entire planet!” As he says that, Orthopox proceeds to retrieve the intelligence from the scanners. “And this proves it, Scans show the planet, its moon and even the System’s star are coated in a strange unknown energy more potent than Furon Psychokinetics.”

“Right… and why should I care about some crap-ass planet getting a touch-up to look nicer for the boys?” Crypto joked offhandedly, clearly unable to interpret the drastic changes to the plan that Orthopox saw.

“Crypto, when something like this happens this quickly, it means an invading force has set up permanent residence, this is something we’ve seen before with many other races who have fled their worlds one way or another, and in those cases the original indigenous life-forms don’t last long.”

“Still not seeing the point here, Pox, so some primitive sophonts got their asses handed to them shortly after they got me-I mean him-I mean-”

“We get it, Crypto, and the problem is that if we’re to accomplish our mission to save the Furon Race, we need Pure Furon DNA, 136 encountered information on-world involving ancient Furons coming here in the old days to relax and ended up leaving a treasure trove of pure, undegraded Furon DNA to replenish our cloning stores.”

“So?”

“So, if these new residents have gone through with a mass alteration to affect the entire planet, the moon and even the sun…” Pox left it open, hoping Crypto was at least smart enough to put it together.

“They might’ve gone ahead and destroyed the last chance for our race without even realizing it! Brains! Now I really need to shoot something!”

“In due time, Crypto, right now we need to perform reconnaissance, with luck we might be able to salvage what DNA on this world is left to prolong the Furon Empire for at least a few more centuries before we have to find a new source.”

“So we get here, learn some big power players probably killed off our race’s last hope for survival, and I still have to wait to blow something up?!” Cryptosporidium was never a patient warrior, he was quite capable and effective, but patience was not a necessary factor in a Furon trained to fight and kill. Pox knew this well and was aware he needed to keep a tight leash, lest he destroys something important amidst his zealotry.

“I understand the situation Crypto, but we cannot afford to be flung into this new conflict without information.”

And with that, the hotheaded Furon known as Cryptosporidium 137 left for the hangar. Pox smiled and turned on the comm system. “Scans show there’s a simple agricultural area here, the sign at the town border designates it as Apple Springs, it’s far from any known population sector, so you shouldn’t need to worry about any high risks from the Authoritarian facilities.” He informed the now departing invader.

“Sure, like I didn’t want to have any fun.” he grumbled.

[Apple Springs]
[1 year after the events of the Human/Equestrian war.]

The Arkvoodle Idol received the message from the mothership and saucer on high from Furon command and chimed in approval of being the first landing zone in the area, which then pinged the others to lock until a worthy Son of Arkvoodle could authorize additional zones.

“The Invasion of New Equis hath begun! Despair repulsively colourful equines, for your violation of this world will be repaid with the mighty Furon Shaft of Vengeance right through your precious Diarchy! Doth speak Arkvoodle! Lord of the Sacred Crotch! Landing Zone Activated!” And with that the idol sank into the ground, initiating the circuit to activate the landing pad that would recharge and maintain the Saucer.

Crypto lowered the spaceship down onto the pad before exiting the craft, armed with the standard issue Zap-O-Matic and basic Furon Soldier Equipment of Shields, Jetpack and Communication Uplink. He stepped out onto the all too green grass, full of life and untouched by toxins associated with pollution. In fact from the surface, it was clear to him and Orthopox that there was no sign of pollutants or evolutionary pathways in the plant-life that would be associated with adapting to these chemicals. Pox had seen previous scans of the planet before now when observing 136, it showed an industrial based civilisation, not unlike the Furon Empire in its beginnings before moving to more efficient power methods, which meant that even with a terraforming scenario, there should be some trace of that even if the invading species resolved to destroy all technological and architectural creations of the indigenous.

“Orthopox-13 to Cryptosporidium-137 come in Cryptosporidium.” Pox said as he activated the telepresence holopod to establish a more stable link, the communicator in Crypto’s suit was effective, but it wasn’t capable of reaching orbital arrays.

Crypto saluted the holopod. “Right here, Pox, mind explaining why my atmospheric filtration unit decided to shut off? And more to the point how you haven’t needed to make a new me?”

“It seems we haven’t understood the severity of these invaders, their terraforming methods or the truth of why they came to this specific planet. These are not just refugees, nomads or conquerors, this is the result of explicit planning and an extreme distaste for the resident species. As far as we know, these foreign entities have gone to every length to erase the existence of the creatures that ruled this planet, including whatever pollutants this world has suffered in the past.”

“So… what?”

“So, it means until we are able to gather evidence of the original race, we consider these new residents to be the indigenous species in order to not cause unnecessary panic.”

“Panic?! We’re here to invade a planet, Pox! Alien conquerors of a vast empire! And you’re worried about causing a panic??”

“Not the panic we want, we could handle keeping a low profile about aliens, but an alien who is completely aware that they wiped out another species from existence despite using everything in their power to ensure no trace of them remained? We’d face a serious exposure event, and after that a counterattack on the Furon Empire, regardless of our technological superiority, we are still weak from genetic degradation.”

“Alright! Fine! I won’t blab about the fact these things killed some other things off and-you know what? When the hell are we gonna learn what these freaks are?”

“Of course our first objective will be to identify which species is the new dominant race on this world.” Pox proceeds to scan the area, stopping when he detects strange colourful Quadrapeds. “Ah! Those Equinoids should prove to be viable candidates.”

“Surely you don’t mean those bright epilepsy-inducing plate-eyed freaks down the road?”

“I’m afraid I do.”

Crypto leaned forward to Pox in emphasis. “But they’ve got ass tattoos!”

“NOW Cryptosporidium!”

The Furon Soldier groaned but acquiesced to his commanding officer’s instructions.

This is gonna be a looooong damn mission!